As the title says - more specifically, hoping for tracks that cover all kinds of locations and scenes (e.g., tavern bards, travelling, battle, seemingly hopeless situations, victory, mourning, love, trickery, strange creatures or monsters, etc.) Have already got hold of some Blind Guardian, and stuff from Dragon Age and The Witcher series.
What else should I check out, preferably that can be purchased or otherwise downloaded with no DRM involved (so, Bandcamp is fine for example). If it’s anywhere on YouTube, that would suffice, if nothing better is available.
Thanks so much!

(This is the second chapter of a rewrite of Haus' Half-life 3 Fanfic, attempting to make it at least half-way decent.) In the White Forest Resistance Base, Gordon Freeman received word that Eli, Kleiner, and a number of other rebels have been captured and brought to the Artic and that he needs to get over there and save them. Gordon then boards a helicopter, where a rebel named Suah is there to give him an explanation about what happened, "Ok, so what we have gathered so far is that Kleiner, Eli, and some other rebels got captured at a wasteland base, and an undercover agent that we have in the combine has told us that the helicopter was heading towards the Artic, near the base we're about to land at, and...," Suah paused, she had seen something outside the window. "Wait, what is happening over there at the base!". A huge fire fight had broken out at the rebel base between the combine and the resistance, and there was a smoking vehicle from where the combine where attacking. "Wait, I think that may be the same heli..., WAIT THERE IS A ROCKE...," A combine rocket then hit the helicopter that Gordon was in and it crashed into the rebel base. A few minutes later, Gordon woke up at the crash site of the helicopter, with a team of rebels surrounding it. "Gordon Freeman! You're alive! We almlst thought that you were a goner! We know this may be difficult request for you right after a crash, but we need you to go out there and repel the combine attack. Here's some weapons." The rebels then handed Gordon a crowbar and a pistol. "We know that those may not be really powerful weapons, but you're Gordon Freeman! We still know that you'll make short work of the combine." Somewhere else, in a dark void, a familiar H.E.C.U. soldier regains conciseness. "It's time for you to rise to the occasion, Corporal Shepherd. These are strange times, wouldn't you agree? There have been uprisings, suppression, friends turning into foes, hope, hate, gains, and loses. In-between all of this chaos, you had managed to survived against all odds in one of the most dangerous places on the planet, and because of your excellent work at Ravenholm, my employers have authorized an emergency deployment of you in the face of one of the most pressing issues we have ever had. You also may finally complete an old mission of yours, so wake up, wake up and complete the mission." END OF CHAPTER 2

I’m a real estate investor, and I’m redesigning my website via Figma and plan on uploading it to Wix.
The landing page is mainly for lead capturing, by having the visitor type their address in so I can offer them a valuation of their home.
My problem is I want to use the visitors address from the landing page and automatically generate an embed Google maps location of their street address on another page so they can confirm that they enter red their correct address on the landing.
Can anyone help?

I am in the beginning stages of researching to file Chapter 7 or Chapter 13. To me either one is fine and I will go with what’s best for me and my family.
My generic question is this. I belong to a credit union that my minor children have accounts at that I am a “joint owner” of.
Would it be best to remove my name from all accounts I hold jointly with my (4) children, spouse and (1) account with my mother?
I don’t want their relationship with the credit union to suffer because of my poor choices in life. I know that my relationship with the CU will no longer exist because they will be affected by the bankruptcy.

Latest observation

Wednesday, 29 March – 5:00 PM Cocos Islands Time (CCT; 00:30 UTC)

JTWC Warning #1		3:30 PM CCT (09:00 UTC)
Current location:		13.7°S 101.0°E
Relative location:		480 km (298 mi) ESE of the Cocos Islands (Australia)
Forward motion:		SE (144°) at 19 km/h (10 knots)
Maximum winds:	▲	75 km/h (40 knots)
Intensity (SSHWS):	▲	Tropical Storm
Intensity (BOM):	▲	Cyclone (Category 1)
Minimum pressure:	▼	998 millibars (29.47 inches)

Official forecasts

Australia Bureau of Meteorology

Wednesday, 29 March — 1:30 PM CCT (07:00 UTC)
(Note: Wind speeds have been converted from ten-minute values to one-minute values.)

Hour	Date	Time		Intensity		Winds		Lat	Long
	—	UTC	CCT	BOM		knots	km/h	°S	°E
00	29 Mar	07:00	1PM Wed	Cyclone (Category 1)		45	85	13.7	101.0
12	29 Mar	19:00	1AM Thu	Cyclone (Category 2)	▲	55	100	14.4	102.8
24	30 Mar	07:00	1PM Thu	Cyclone (Category 2)		55	100	15.2	104.3
36	30 Mar	19:00	1AM Fri	Cyclone (Category 1)	▼	45	85	15.8	105.4
48	31 Mar	07:00	1PM Fri	Cyclone (Category 1)	▼	40	75	16.5	106.0
72	01 Apr	07:00	1PM Sat	Cyclone (Category 1)	▼	35	65	17.3	105.6
96	02 Apr	07:00	1PM Sun	Tropical Low	▼	30	55	17.4	103.4
120	03 Apr	07:00	1PM Mon	Tropical Low		30	55	16.5	100.4

Joint Typhoon Warning Center

Wednesday, 29 March — 3:30 PM CCT (09:00 UTC) JTWC Warning #1

Hour	Date	Time		Intensity		Winds		Lat	Long
	—	UTC	CCT	Saffir-Simpson		knots	km/h	°N	°E
00	29 Mar	06:00	12PM Wed	Tropical Storm		40	75	13.7	101.0
12	29 Mar	18:00	12AM Thu	Tropical Storm	▲	50	95	14.4	102.8
24	30 Mar	06:00	12PM Thu	Tropical Storm		50	95	15.2	104.3
36	30 Mar	18:00	12AM Fri	Tropical Storm	▼	40	75	15.8	105.4
48	31 Mar	06:00	12PM Fri	Tropical Storm	▼	35	65	16.5	106.0
72	01 Apr	06:00	12PM Sat	Tropical Depression	▼	30	55	17.3	105.6
96	02 Apr	06:00	12PM Sun	Tropical Depression	▼	25	45	17.4	103.4
120	03 Apr	06:00	12PM Mon	Tropical Depression		25	45	16.5	100.4

Official advisories

Bureau of Meteorology (Australia)

• Information Bulletin
  
• Technical Bulletin
  
• Forecast Map
  
• Ocean Wind Warning
  

Joint Typhoon Warning Center (United States)

• Warning Text
  
• Warning Graphic
  
• Prognostic Reasoning
  

Radar imagery

Not available

There is currently no radar imagery available for Cyclone Herman.

Satellite imagery

Floater imagery

Conventional Imagery

UW-Madison Cooperative Institute for Meteorological Satellite Studies (CIMSS)

• Multiple bands

CSU Regional and Mesoscale Meteorology Branch (RAAMB)

• Multiple bands

Naval Research Laboratory

• Multiple bands

Regional imagery

Bureau of Meteorology (Australia)

• Satview

UW-Madison Cooperative Institute for Meteorological Satellite Studies (CIMSS)

• Enhanced Infrared
  
• Water vapor
  
• Visible (True Color)
  

Analysis graphics and data

Wind analyses

Joint Typhoon Warning Center (JTWC)

• Satellite Fix Bulletin

NOAA National Environmental Satellite, Data, and Information Services (NESDIS)

• Multiplatform Surface Wind Analyses

UW-Madison Cooperative Institute for Meteorological Satellite Studies (CIMSS)

• Advanced Dvorak Technique (ADT)
  
• Tropical Cyclone Intensity Consensus
  
• SATCON Intensity History
  

EUMETSAT Ocean and Sea Ice Satellite Applications Facility (OSI SAF)

• Advanced Scatterometer Data

Sea-surface Temperatures

NOAA Office of Satellite and Product Operations (OSPO)

• Sea Surface Temperature Contour Charts

Tropical Tidbits

• Ocean Analysis

Model guidance

Storm-Specific Guidance

• Tropical Tidbits
  
• University of Albany
  
• National Center for Atmospheric Research (NCAR)
  
• Weather Nerds
  

Southwestern Pacific Guidance

• Tropical Tidbits

• The episode title refers to the Commander Kruge’s B’Rel-class Bird-of-Prey, which Kirk and friends rechristined the HMS Bounty after commendering it in “Star Trek: The Search for Spock” and “Star Trek: The Voyage Home”.
  
  • There is also a second season ENT episode titled “Bounty”.
• The crew of the USS Titan A is dropping signal buoys to throw pursuers off the scent. We see some of those pursuing ships:
  
  • USS Trumbull NCC-72370 - Duderstadt-class; named for “Star Trek: The Motion Picture” visual effects director, Douglas Trumbull
  • USS Yorktown NCC-97422 - Echelon-class; the first ship of this class we’ve seen; SS Yorktown was Gene Roddenberry’s proposed original name for the ship that would be trekking the stars; there was a USS Yorktown disabled by the Whale Probe in “Star Trek: The Voyage Home”; Tuvok’s father was said implied to have served aboard a Yorktown at the same time he was assigned to the USS Excelsior; a USS Yorktown NCC-20045 was listed on displays in “The Measure of a Man” and “Whispers”; in the Kelvin timeline, Starbase Yorktown was introduced in “Star Trek Beyond”
  • USS Mestral NCC-42027 - Excelsior II-class; named for a Vulcan explorer who perished when his survey ship crashed to Earth in 1957
• At various points in the episode Frontier Day is stated to be 72 hours away, and less that 48 hours away, which means this episode would be taking place April 13 and 14, 2401.
  
• We see one of the Changelings aboard the Shrike execute another for speaking against Vadic, which would indicate that they’re well past the cultural taboo against Changelings harming one another, established in “The Die is Cast”.
  
• Doctor Crusher’s scans of Not David Marcus indicate that he has Irumodic Syndrome, a neurological condition that an alternate future version of Admiral Picard had developed in “All Good Things…” but which the Captain Picard of 2370 did not have any indication of beyond a small structural defect on his brain which might develop into Irumodic Syndrome later in life.
  
  • In season one of this series, it was vaguely implied that Irumodic Syndrome had developed, and Picard’s gallivanting could very well exacerbate it, but this is the first episode of the series where the condition is actually named again as opposed to gestured at, and it is confirmed that it is what killed his original body.
• ”And we retaliated with a Starfleet made virus.” The morphogenic virus used to infect the Founders was engineered by Section 31. This episode Worf states Section 31 is a “Critical division of Starfleet intelligence.”.
  
• After the away team beams aboard Daystrom Station, two Echelon-class ships arrive:
  
  • USS Sternbach NCC-92943; named for Rick Sternbach, production designer for “Star Trek: The Motion Picture”, TNG, DS9, and VOY
  • USS Cole NCC-97621; possibly named for Lee Cole, graphic on “Star Trek: Phase II”, “Star Trek: The Motion Picture”, and “Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan”
• Daystrom Station has a bunch of familiar items in storage. According to Worf it is *”Many of Section 31’s most nefarious table scraps.” Including:
  
  • A thalaron radiation device, like the one Shinzon used to assassinate the Romulan senate in “Star Trek Nemesis”
  • Xindi Kemocite containers, from “The Shipment”
  • A Genesis device, similar to the one seen in “Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan”
  • The remains of Captain James T. Kirk, or at least the part of him that lived on in the Nexus and abandoned Paradise to aid Picard in “Star Trek Generations”; according to text on display, his body was retrieved by something called ”Project Phoenix”; in “The Perfect Mate” Riker comms the bridge to inform them he’ll be in the holodeck after he turns down Kamala’s advances
  • A Borg vinculum, from “Infinite Regress”
  • A genetically modified tribble; this is the first time we’ve seen the underside of a tribble
  • A D’Arsay archive from “Masks”? An entire archive seems like it would be far too large considering, but the image on the display is shows just that
  • The android bodies developed to contain the consciousness of the Arretans in “Return to Tomorrow”
• Riker’s image in his file seems to have been taken from around 2373, around the events of “Star Trek: First Contact”, which would mean it’s 28 years old at this point.
  
• Daystrom Android M-5-10 generates a holographic projection of a crow, in an attempt to communicate with Riker. In “Birthright, Part I” Data began to dream, of Doctor Noonian Soong forging a crow, and eventually telling him that ”[He] is the bird.”
  
  • When Riker claims that the crow is familiar, Raffi replies, “Yeah, right, like from my nightmares,” playing on the fact that it originated in Data’s dreams.
• Daystrom Android M-5-10 generates a holographic Moriarty, played by Daniel Davis, though this is not the same Moriarty whom Geordi accidentally caused to develop self-awareness in “Elementary, My Dear Data”, but a facsimile.
  
• The Fleet Museum was first mentioned in “Relics”
  
• Among the ships at the Fleet Museum we see:
  
  • USS Enterprise A - refit Constitution-class; ”I’m definitely a Constitution-class man.” Showrunner Terry Matalas has claimed the same thing of himself on social media
  • HMS Bounty - B'Rel-class Bird-of-Prey
  • K’t’inga-class battlecruiser
  • refit NX-class; first appearance of this iteration of the NX-class on screen, though a young Jean-Luc Picard had a model of the ship in “Hide and Seek”
  • Miranda-class
  • Nebula-class; this one specifically has the more triangular shaped modular pod introduced in “Redemption II”
  • USS Voyager - Intrepid-class; apparently the registry information has been scrubbed from the underside of the saucer
  • Excelsior-class
  • Akira-class
  • USS New Jersey NCC-1975 - Constitution-class; showrunner Terry Matalas was born in New Jersey in 1975; in “Relics” Picard told Scotty there was a Constitution-class ship at the fleet museum
  • Constellation-class
  • Romulan Bird-of-Prey; looks to be the digital model used in “Stardust City Rag”
  • USS Defiant NCC-75633 - Defiant-class; formally the USS Sao Paulo
  • Sabre-class
  • A second Akira-class
• It’s Geordi La Forge! From TNG! Geordi is played by Levar Burton.
  
• Alandra La Forge is played by Mica Burton, Levar Burton’s daughter.
  
• ”Every ship in this fleet is now fully integrated, which means they talk to each other.” In “Supernova, Part 1” Starfleet ships communicating autonomously caused a disaster as the Vau N’Akat living construct used that integration to override ship functions and have them destroy one another while sending out a distress call to lure more ships into the trap.
  
• Triggered by the sense memory of hearing “Pop Goes the Weasel” Riker flashes back to “Encounter at Farpoint” and his first encounter with Data aboard the holodeck. In “Shades of Grey” we also got to see several Riker flashbacks.
  
  • The musical notation for “Pop Goes the Weasel” is featured in the closing credits.
• It’s Daystrom Android M-5-10! From this episode! Played by Brent Spiner!
  
  • Daystrom Android M-5-10 is apparently a hybrid of android and synthetic construction, created by Altan Inigo Soong, played by Brent Spiner.
  • Daystrom Android M-5-10 contains the personalities of Lal, B-4, Lore, Frank Hollander, A.I. Soong, and Data.
  • A.I. Soong claims that the Daystrom Android M-5-10 has “the wisdom, and the true human aesthetic of age.” “Inheritance” established that Data’s systems were already programmed to replicate the appearance of aging.
• The disassembled B-4 is also on Daystrom Station, apparently having been relocated since we last saw it in “Remembrance”.
  
  • You can tell B-4 was a prototype because his pelvis is as smooth as a Ken doll, whereas Data was “Fully functional, and programmed in multiple techniques.”
• “I thought Data died. Twice.” Three times if you want to count “Time’s Arrow, Part II”, “Star Trek Nemesis” and “Et in Arcadia Ego, Part 2”. Yet here he is again, his consciousness integrated into Daystrom Android M-5-10. In “Bar Association” it’s revealed that Rom gave himself an infection by performing too much self Oo-mox.
  
• Geordi denies his help to Picard and the Titan A. In “Maps and Legends” when Zhaban suggested Picard contact Riker, Worf, and Geordi, Picard claimed, “They would do it in a heartbeat, and that's precisely why I cannot ask them. They would put themselves at risk out of loyalty to me, and I do not want to have to go through that again.”
  
• The Klingon cloaking device is modeled off the design featured in the “Klingon Bird-of-Prey Owner’s Workshop Manual” published in 2012. It is distinctly different from the one Quark and Rom stole from the IKS Rotarran in “The Emperor’s New Cloak”.
  
• Seven states “If I’m correct, we’ll have to decloak in order to beam them up.” This specific cloaking device was active while Scotty beamed spock aboard the Bounty so Kirk could go on a date and Kirk after the date, while he beamed Uhura off the USS Enterprise CVN-65, Chekov out of an interrogation room, and while he beamed Doctor Taylor up from the park while she was making a scene, all in “Star Trek: The Voyage Home”.
  
• While Picard, Geordi, and Worf are questioning Daystrom Android M-5-10 exhibits Lore’s characteristic tick, as well as B-4’s simpler affect.
  
• Daystrom Android M-5-10 reveals that the weapon the Changelings stole and covered up with the theft of the portal weapon, is the human remains of Jean-Luc Picard, whose body died in “Et in Arcadia Ego, Part 2”. In “Mugato, Gumato” we see one mugato stroke its horn while watching
  

TLDR; Host is scared of getting bullied off the internet because it's her first time actually introducing us (especially with names)
We've always been plural, but Bun never really wanted to use that title since they're afraid that others may think of them as somewhat crazy.
It started only around 4 years ago, but fellow headmate(s) have been way too active as of lately. Maybe it's because of exposure or maturity?
Anyways, I'm Zyair. I have been the very first headmate of Bun. I've only had a name now thanks to a friend. Bun is the host, they front mostly. I front sometimes especially during hard times when needed. We also have Nao, who only exists in headspace and minimally interacts/fronts.
Anyway, that's not the point of this post. I wanted to ask if it was appropriate to use PluralKit especially since these past few months we've been more active and I started fronting. Since we've joined a discord server that is very welcoming to those who are plural (DID/OSDD), Bun's been trying to hold us off from interacting with people. Bun's a sensitive person, and she never wanted to introduce us.
But now she is, and she's worried about the fact that people might somewhat judge us for it. In my opinion, we can use the PluralKit anytime needed. Nao says that it might not be a good idea, and agrees with Bun to limit my fronting. I feel somewhat offended from this, but I wanna see others' opinions.
note: We use the term headmates, instead of a system so it makes people generally doubt us.
You all may have seen a tiny bit of posts in the past, it was written by Bun and influenced by Nao. I really do feel bad for our host since she's been trying to keep it together. It cannot be helped since I do front randomly often besides stressful situations.
Honestly, with Bun's case, we somewhat feel 'unreal' and makes us sort of question ourselves. We want to solve this issue to face social anxiety and social acceptance.

On a random sector in Serpulo with only early-game materials (copper, lead, sand, coal, water), my main ground defence is just a ludicrous number of arcs. I also wrote a little logic power graph widget -- showing a red line for power usage and a green line for power generation -- and this is what happens when a wave of enemies appears!
The code:

set x 0 set powmax 10000 set powmin 1000 draw clear 0 0 0 0 0 0 op sub powrange powmax powmin sensor powin node1 @powerNetIn sensor powout node1 @powerNetOut op sub powin powin powmin op mul powin powin 79 op idiv powin powin powrange jump 12 greaterThanEq powin 0 set powin 0 jump 14 lessThan powin 80 set powin 79 op sub powout powout powmin op mul powout powout 79 op idiv powout powout powrange jump 19 greaterThanEq powout 0 set powout 0 jump 21 lessThan powout 80 set powout 79 draw color 0 0 0 255 0 0 draw rect x 0 1 80 0 0 op sub diff lastpo powout op abs diff diff powout op add diff diff 1 op min ymin lastpo powout draw color 255 0 0 255 0 0 draw rect x ymin 1 diff 0 0 op sub diff lastpi powin op abs diff diff powin op add diff diff 1 op min ymin lastpi powin draw color 0 255 0 255 0 0 draw rect x ymin 1 diff 0 0 op add x x 1 op mod x x 80 draw color 255 255 255 255 0 0 draw rect x 0 1 80 0 0 drawflush display1 set lastpo powout set lastpi powin jump 5 always x false 

It needs to be hooked up to one display (display1) and one power node (node1). The two variables at the top (powmin and powmax) are the graph scale, with powmin being the power represented by the very bottom of the graph, and powmax being the very top.
I also have a 3-processor variant which uses a memory cell and runs ever so slightly faster (providing a graph in higher time resolution, maybe about 50% faster) but it's very overkill & probably just worth using a bigger processor instead if that's the concern. The only real parallelism I could get from this simple code was to split calculation and display, and further to split usage calculation from generation calculation. A little overhead gets added from synchronisation and actually reading in the values anyway.

got a letter in the mail from Edd unemployment saying they need me to verify my identity and to send in two documents, I already verified my identity on id.me and docusign and I know it was successful because I got my first check two weeks ago. I am in dire need of money and have no idea why this happened. I can't post the picture but this is what the letter says : Please follow the instructions below. Failure to do so may result in denial of your benefits. Please include your name and Social Security number on any additional forms you mail to the EDD. 1. You are receiving this notice because the EDD was unable to verify your identity when you filed your unemployment insurance (UI) clam. Whenever there is a question of correct identity, the Department requires acceptable identity documents (in accordance with Department regulations) to verify that unemployment benefits are paid only to those who are legally entitled to receive them. You must provide a copy of your PHOTO IDENTIFICATION which contains your photograph, first and last name, and date of birth, and ONE OTHER IDENTITY DOCUMENT such as employment data verification, address verification or Social Security number verification. Mail copies of these documents to: Employment Development Department PO Box 2530 Rancho Cordova, CA 95741-2530 For a list of acceptable identity verification documents, please see the. The only documents I have are my birth certificate, drivers license and social security card. No paystubs, no utility bill. Will that suffice? And do I print copies or get them photocopied? Please someone help.

My elderly parents are finally downsizing to a relatively small one level house in a new neighborhood about 10 minutes from where I currently live. I have the opportunity to purchase the lot next door with a choice of about 8 different styles of houses.
The new house would cost around $390,000. I currently owe about $139,000 on a $220,000-$250,000 house. Mine and my wife's income is plenty to make the new purchase with the equity in our current home going to the new house.
It's been a long time since I bought a house, and I have two issues:

1. My current interest rate is 2.99%. It looks like the best I could get on a conventional loan now is about 6%. That hurts thinking about it.
2. I could take about $9,000 out of my Roth IRA to put down, but I don't have the down payment to get me to 20% of the loan amount to get past the 80/20 ratio. I would of course sell my house, which would cover over half of the new house, and it would go quickly in my area, but I don't want to end up in a situation where my house sells before the new house is finished in September (I guess I could put into the loan that we wouldn't close on my current house until the new house is closed?), or the opposite where my house doesn't sell before the new house is finished (the real estate company will not take contingencies). What are my options for financing the new house while still in the old house with the necessity of using my current house's equity for the new house?!?

I'm just not familiar with the new home loan buying/selling process, so any guidance would be appreciated. I am going to talk to the real estate company Friday. I am also going to talk to my agent today. This all came up quite suddently, and I would need to move quickly if I want to live next to my parents.
The pros for moving would be that I would be next door to help my parents when necessary, and the house itself would be our dream house.

Let's say I want to create a number list from 1 to 1000 in cells A1:A1000. I can start with entering 1 in A1, entering 2 in A2, then drag down the blue box which is time consuming. On the other hand, I can easily select a range A1:A1000 in the Name box. From here, can I populate this range with numbers?

My wife accidentally filed both of our taxes under single since we were married so late in the year . We are planning to amend but I’m wondering if we should file as joint or separate. We both have w-2s with income from 35,000-43,000, she had bought a house last year in solely her name and we both have school credits. We are supposed to be getting refunds of 2,000 - 4,000 and I’m wondering if there will be a change in those refunds when we amend, if there will be a change at all. TIA!!

I don’t mean to sound ungrateful. When it comes down to it, I would rather her not drinking, and if AA is the only thing that stops her from drinking, then it’s a necessary evil.
My opinion on it has grown to disgust the older I’ve gotten. My biggest problem with it is that (at least in the case of my mother) it allowed her to absolve herself of nearly two decades of being a shitty, traumatizing, selfish parent with 0 accountability. “You can’t be mad I have no power over drinking sorry! Only god can fix it!”And I feel like that’s a load of bullshit. The root of the problem isn’t the drinking. It’s that she has shit coping mechanisms and an inability or a lack of desire to work on herself. We’re supposed to not only forgive her, but also put her up on a pedestal because she took no accountability for her actions? Make that make sense. Furthermore, I don’t even think the addiction is cured — she just swiped it out for AA. She goes to several meetings a day and always talks about “God this God that” even though we weren’t raised religious at all.
I just don’t know how she goes through life like that. She systematically traumatized all of her children and gave us severe trust issues. To this day, the only person I trust is myself and it’s her fault. I got an apology when she first went into the program, but it wasn’t what I wanted. All she mustered was “I’m sorry for what I did while I was drinking but I couldn’t help it I have a disease and God needs to save me.” I forgave her because I had to, but the sour taste it left in my mouth was unimaginable. No mom — you choose the bottle over me every time because you didn’t want to do the work and now you’re using this as a cop out. It’s beyond contempt. I don’t know how she is okay living like that.
I know I am never going to have the relationship with my mother that I want and I will never get the real, earnest apology that I deserve, and I blame AA. I know she’ll never truly get over whatever issues she has and AA allows her to hide from ever confronting them. For that, I hate that organization. Would it really be that hard to preach that there is an underlying cause they need to do self reflection on rather than the easy out of “God made me this way and it couldn’t be helped?”
Anyways vent over. Sorry it’s not structured very well. It was a lot of word vomit. Feel free to comment.
P.S: I’m not trying to detract from any of y’all’s loved ones experiences with AA — it just hasn’t been mine.

Chapter 24: Top Dog
Boys: Shawn
Girls: Heather, Lindsay
Episode 24: Top Dog
"Last time on Total Drama Action," Chris said over a shot of the film lot. "A sweet, surprise package from the outside world left Heather bitter," Heather was shown looking at her jawbreaker with disgust, "and the cast got a taste of life in zero-gravity conditions," the four were seen floating in the space shuttle.
"But all was not well in the universe as Shawn and Courtney continued to spitefully hate each other," the two mentioned were shown making comments at each other.
"In the end, Heather won the challenge," she was shown to be covered in barf, "but lost her sweet smell. Lindsay fixed things between Courtney and Shawn" she, Shawn and Courtney were shown talking, "but lost her chance to stay in the game almost. Thanks to a tiebreaker, Courtney lost the game, but won a Lame-osine ride back to the real world?" She was seen puking into her pot and entering the limo.
"Can Lindsay breathe once more now that she barely got lucky?" The dumb princess was shown in the confessional.
"Will Shawn be able to carry on without his sole alliance?" The conspiracy nut was shown looking at his tinfoil hat.
The scene flashed to Chris in front of the cast trailers. "All this and more, on today's out-of-this world episode of, Total! Drama! Action!"
XXXXX
The episode opened on a shot of the morning sun before panning down to the cast trailers. The camera centered on the girls', then cut inside as Lindsay woke up.
"That was a nice dream I had," Lindsay talked to herself while sitting up in her bunk. "Marshmallow pillows and candy rainbow pieces have never been so tasty."
She soon looked around for a bit. "Where did Heather go? I thought she would be back from showering last night."
The door opened and Heather walked in, though she was looking groggy and tired.
"Where were you all night?" Lindsay asked her roommate. "Were you out on a secret trip thanks to your immunity? Let me guess where you went. The cheese factory, Niagara Falls, or did you go to the mall?"
"Zip it!" Heather shouted. "I spent the entire evening in the bathroom."
"Why did you sleep in there?" Lindsay asked.
"That ghost slash vampire fighting freak soaked the last of the gumbo on me!" Heather complained. "It took me hours to wash the food off and make sure I smelled exquisite."
"I don't blame Shawn for what he did," Lindsay shot a glare at the queen bee's direction. "You made him get into a fight with Courtney. Things could've gotten worse if I didn't solve their problem."
"Shut up, Lame-say," Heather insulted. "That homeschooled reject is going down, and once I deal with him and you, I'll claim the grand prize."
"I have no idea how Amy could tolerate you," Lindsay told her. "You worked with her, sure, but you decided to strategize behind her back just because she had standards."
"Amy and the other contestants mean nothing to me," Heather said. "Just watch your back!"
Confessional: Heather
"I knew I'd make it to the end. Big shocker," Heather filed her nails. "I just can't believe the zombie weirdo and brainless blondie made it. So they may as well just give me the check, I mean come on. I think we all know who's gonna win."
Confessional Ends
Heather yawned and laid down on her bunk. Just then, the trailer door burst open. Chris walked in and promptly and joyfully blew a few notes on a bugle into the room. "Wake up, sleepyheads!" he announced with glee. "Breakfast is served, along with today's movie challenge. You've got ten minutes to get your sorry butts down there!" He backed out of the room.
"I bet today's genre will be "guy in a coma" movie," Heather suggested as she lied down.
"I doubt it, but I'm just going to eat breakfast," Lindsay said before leaving.
\
The scene flashed over to the craft services tent. "Wow Chef!" Shawn said in awe as the camera cut to a close-up of his plate as Chef ladled a portion of something that was pale yellow, lumpy, and slightly hairy onto it. "These scrambled eggs actually look pretty good!"
Chef looked at the theorist, then burst out into raucous laughter. "Scrambled eggs," he repeated before resuming his laughter and even falling over.
Shawn shot his food with a worried look and put it back before walking away. "I'll just eat on the leaves I've gathered."
Confessional: Shawn
"The way Chef was laughing made me believe that the scrambled eggs were too good to be true," Shawn confessed. "Or maybe they were poisoned. Or maybe they were drugged with sleeping medicine. But worst of all-"
Confessional Ends
Shawn sat next to Heather, who stopped eating once she saw him. "I gotta say, you smell pretty good," the theorist told her teasingly.
"It's just lavender soap," Heather glared. "I used three bottles of it thanks to your stunt."
"Now you know how I felt when you messed with my mind and got Courtney eliminated," Shawn said. "Zombies may eat brains, but they don't have any control over what they're doing."
"It's always supernatural stuff with you," Heather groaned. "I'm stunned Jo even likes you, but it makes sense. You two are ugly and can't dress fashionably to save your lives."
Shawn furiously got in Heather's face. "She likes me for me, and I won't change myself for her."
Confessional: Shawn
"It's one thing to be manipulative, but to insult my feelings for Jo? That's crossing the line," Shawn ranted. "Like Jo did before, I will make sure Heather loses."
Confessional Ends
The scene cut to Lindsay approaching the serving counter, only to look confused when she didn't see Chef. The cook then lifted his arm up and dropped a ladle of fake eggs onto her tray.
"Scrambled eggs?" Lindsay wondered as she looked at her plate. "It's the second episode all over again." Chef broke out laughing again behind the counter, but he managed to sit back up and wipe a tear out of his eye.
Lindsay sat down next to Shawn. "Hey Shawn. Where's your food."
"A heads up," Shawn whispered. "The eggs aren't cooked well. They're just fake."
"They looked real," Lindsay slid her tray away.
"So anyways, me and you are up against Heather, Lindsay" Shawn told her. "I know what you're gonna say."
"Let's team up and take her down," Lindsay grinned.
"It's almost like you read my mind," Shawn said, "but without being an alien."
Confessional: Lindsay
"Shawn is really cute," Lindsay admitted. "His constant nagging about his theories do bug me and he could really use a shower every once in a while, but I can see why Jo is into him."
Confessional Ends
"What can I do about the eggs?" Lindsay asked Shawn. "Chef will totally kill me with his eyes if I throw it away."
"Leave it to me," Shawn told Lindsay.
Shawn grabbed the eggs with his two hands. He mushed them together and created a ball out of the eggs. Twirling it on his finger for a brief moment, he tossed the ball away and it landed in the pot Chef was using to cook a meal. The cook stopped whistling to see what slipped in, but went about his business without a care.
"I can't believe he didn't even care," Lindsay commented.
"I don't know what Chef uses to make his food, but it's probably leftovers," Shawn said.
"Attention, cast!" Chris said, the camera cutting to him standing on the other side of the tent with a blue-and-yellow macaw perched on his shoulder. It squawked as the three contestants walked up.
"What is that parrot doing on your shoulder?" Lindsay asked.
"That's my new BFFF!" Chris explained with a grin. "Best Flying Friend Forever. That brings us to today's movie genre: the Animal Buddy flic." The three teens gave him skeptical looks.
Confessional: Chris
"You try coming up with twenty-two movie genres," Chris accused in the confessional. "It was either animal buddy, or guy in a coma movies."
Confessional Ends
"The hallmark of any good animal buddy flick is the human-animal bonding," Chris explained as his macaw watched him. "First, the human and the animal start out as enemies. Then, through many misadventures, the animal and human grow to care about each other," the camera zoomed in on the macaw as it seemed to be touched by the host's words, "and become fast friends."
The parrot rubbed Chris' chin affectionately with its head, and the host responded by extending a finger to rub the bird. However, the macaw decided to playfully chomp on the finger and squawked laughingly as the human winced in pain.
"You guys just hang tight for a sec, 'kay?" Chris told the cast with a calm look on his face. He walked off camera, and the castmates watched in mild horror as sounds of an attack were heard. Feathers flew, squawks were heard, and the host yelled "Let go of my coif!"
He walked back into view moments later, brushing the feathers off his shoulder but ignoring the ones in his now-ruffled hair. "So...where were we...?" he asked idly before smiling in realization. "Right! The first animal buddy movie challenge will be to pick an animal and teach it to be just like you," he explained as the camera panned across the wary faces of Heather, Shawn, and Lindsay. "That shouldn't be too hard, since you're all animals." A rimshot played, but none of the cast were amused.
Chris got serious again. "The cast member whose animal most resembles them at the end, wins the challenge." The contestants were shown again, and Lindsay in particular was looking pleased.
Confessional: Lindsay
"I love animals, especially dogs," Lindsay gushed in the confessional. "I even have one of my own. One time, I told my math teacher that his new hair piece looks like my dog's butt. But he totally took it the wrong way. My dog has the cutest curly little butt!" the blonde explained. "It was a compliment!"
Confessional Ends
The footage resumed at a shot of the contestants outside. "Alright cast," Chris announced, "time to meet your future BFFFFFs!" He motioned behind him, where something large and covered in an orange tarp was stationed between him and Chef. "Best Furry, Feathered, or Finned Friends, Forever!" he explained further, earning an eyeroll from the cook as he pulled away the tarp.
The four teens gasped as the four cages were uncovered. The camera focused on each animal one-by-one. First was a brown bear that roared at the cast, then a bigger cage holding a rather agitated looking shark, then a smaller cage holding a raccoon that tried to claw at them, and finally a bird cage holding a chameleon that rolled out its tongue.
"Pick an animal," Chris told the cast, "and get training. You have three hours."
"I got the raccoon!" Heather said immediately, shoving Shawn to the ground and dashing forward towards the small cage before either of the others could react.
Confessional: Heather
"I had to pick the raccoon," Heather reasonably told the viewers. "The chameleon is gross, the bear is huge, and the shark is murderous."
Confessional Ends
The scene returned to Shawn and Lindsay standing with the other animals. "I'll take the chameleon," the blonde said. "If it can change colors, I can't pass that up."
"And I'll take the bear," Shawn announced. "It has a lesser chance of eating me alive in comparison to the shark."
Chris saw that the final three have made their decision and chosen their animals, but noticed that the shark was lonely.
"So it seems they left out the shark," Chris mused. "I paid good money to bring all four of the animals out here, and I won't let any of them go to waste." He thought to himself. "What to do, what to do."
Ezekiel suddenly ran up to Chris. "Hey Chris. I'm here to help judge the animals."
"Ezekiel! Great timing," Chris piped up. "Say, do you want to pet sit for an animal while we wait for the judging part?"
"Uh, sure," Ezekiel agreed. "Which one do I have to watch over?"
"Chef, bring the pet here!" Chris ordered, causing the cook to drag the shark over to the home schooled guy."
Ezekiel's eyes almost popped out. "I have to take care of a shark? They're dangerous looking eh!"
"That's not my problem," Chris laughed while departing. "Just make sure it doesn't try to hurt the other animals. They didn't get picked, so they're sorta jealous."
All Ezekiel could do was gulp at his predicament.
\
Heather and the raccoon were sitting on a table. "I don't know if you've been tested for rabies, but I have my eyes on you, so don't try any funny business."
The raccoon snarled at her. "Hey hey! I don't want any trouble. I just want to win this challenge."
Heather pulled out a box of doggy treats. "If you behave, I'll feed this to you." This caused the raccoon to sit up straight, and Heather gave it a treat. "Good."
After devouring the treat, the raccoon held out its paw, causing Heather to awkwardly shake it.
\
The camera went to the chameleon, who's colors changed from red to bright yellow. It was supposed to change to Lindsay's hair color, but it didn't obey.
"That's not the color," Lindsay told her animal. "It's supposed to be blonde, not bright yellow. Let's try this again." The chameleon turned dark green in response.
\
The scene flashed to Shawn and the bear inside the service tent. "I know something that we share," Shawn told the bear. "We both like food, but the only difference is that I can cook and you can't."
The bear growled at that, causing Shawn to retract. "I'm not saying this to insult you. I'm just saying that I teach you how to cook. That way, you won't have to eat out of the trash can."
The bear smiled in response.
\
Ezekiel was looking at the shark still in its tank. He touched the tank with his hand, and after the shark chomped its jaws, he recoiled back in fear.
"You know what I like to do?" Ezekiel said. "Play songs on my harmonica."
The home schooled guy took his harmonica out and played "Ocean Man" by Ween. Just as he was going to get to the third stanza, the shark howled in boredom and pretended to fall asleep by rolling over.
Ezekiel stopped playing to see what the shark just did and sighed. "I know music doesn't kill animals eh. I'm not that naive."
\
The scene flashed to Heather and her raccoon lounging about. "I've already taught you manners, but I don't have anything else to do."
The queen bee's face lit up with inspiration. "I know." She lifted up the raccoon. "Want to help me sabotage the others? I'll give you the entire box of treats if you do."
The raccoon thought about it, but complied.
Confessional: Heather
"This will almost be like sabotaging my competition in the ballet competition, only this time, it's on a reality show," Heather said.
Confessional Ends
Lindsay's chameleon was now orange-colored. "My hair looks like it's colored orange, but that's not the case," Lindsay expressed her frustration.
Behind her, Heather had hooked her raccoon to a fishing line. She swung it over Lindsay's head, allowing for the raccoon to use a can of spray paint on Lindsay's hair.
Seeing what color the hair was now, the chameleon turned white.
"That's definitely wrong," Lindsay said while the raccoon resprayed her hair brown, causing the chameleon to turn into that color. "Wrong again!" Her hair got sprayed pink. "My hair isn't even close to pink!"
Not wanting to be exposed, Heather quickly reeled her raccoon back and took off.
\
The camera flashed back to the kitchen. The bear was stirring pancake mix and flour in a big bowl as Shawn watched him.
"I work in a bakery, so making cake is my first lesson in cooking," Shawn instructed. "I need to use the bathroom. Keep stirring until I come back."
After Shawn left, the bear decided to search the cabinets for more ingredients. The raccoon, who was under the table, crept from under there and stood near the bowl.
They took out a bottle of maple syrup, and quickly squirted it all onto the bowl. As soon as the raccoon was done, they went back to hiding when the bear came back with the ingredients.
The bear added some sugar into their bowl and resumed stirring the mix, unaware of the syrup. Heather saw her pet return back and they smiled at their sabotage.
\
Meanwhile, Ezekiel was bringing a set of books with him. "Alright, shark. I think you'd like to read a story."
He took out "The History of Canada" and turned to page one. "This book is one of my favorites. It describes how Canada was made."
Seeing the book that was picked, the shark silently whined before taking out some earplugs and placing them into their ears. Afterwards, they faked a smile just to show that they're paying attention.
"I knew you'd like the story," Ezekiel looked up from his book, unaware of the fact that the shark wasn't listening.
\
A flash took the scene to a stock shot of the film lot before another cut took it to Ezekiel, Chef, and Chris sitting at a judge's table, the contestants and their animal buddies waiting around in front of it. "Alright cast," Chris announced, "time to judge the animal buddies."
"Why does the bear have frosting on their lips?" Lindsay asked Shawn after seeing the animal lick their lips.
"It's a secret," Shawn replied.
"Heather!" Chris called, earning the attention of the mean girl and her partner. "You and your raccoon are up first!"
"About that," Heather walked up. "I didn't teach my raccoon much of anything," she said, causing Chris to frown at her.
Heather soon whispered to her raccoon, and before anyone else knew it, the raccoon sprung up and snatched Ezekiel's crochet hat.
"That's my hat you're taking!" Ezekiel protested as the raccoon returned to Heather.
"But I did teach it how to snatch and grab," Heather said.
Chris and Chef looked at each other and held up two signs with numbers on it. "Ten!" Chris announced with a smile.
Ezekiel revealed his score. "I give it a six personally!"
Heather glared at the boy and hurled his hat at his face.
\
"Alright chameleon," Chris said next, "give it all you got."
The chameleon stood on Lindsay's shoulder and turned its color blonde like the girl's hair color.
The three judges clapped and gave Lindsay an eight.
\
"Shawn," Chris told the remaining contestant. "Time to see what your bear cooked up." He opened the pot and saw a chocolate cake with maple syrup surrounding it. "Why is there maple syrup?"
"I don't know," Shawn shrugged. "The bear must've put it in as a surprise." He got slapped in the head by the bear. "What? I didn't give you any syrup."
Chef took the first bite. "This is an eight. The cake is good, but it gets hard to scrape off your teeth."
Chris was next. "Nine out of ten. I'd like the dessert better if you had properly planned it out."
Ezekiel was the last one. "Maple syrup goes great with everything," he smiled. "Especially cake. This scored ten points!"
"If it makes us look good, I applaud you for your skills," Shawn complimented the bear.
"Points have been tallied," Chris announced. "And the winner of the first challenge is Shawn!"
"Yes!" Shawn cheered, but noticed Ezekiel still eating the cake. "Uh, Ezekiel, are you gonna share with us?"
Ezekiel stopped eating when he heard him. "It is your cake, so yeah."
"I do get first dibs," Chris grabbed a piece before turning to look at the camera. "Be right back," he said with a wink.
\
(Commercial break)
\
The scene faded back in to a shot of a dirt road running through some unidentified forest just as a bus pulled up. Its door opened with a hiss, and Chris stepped off. "Here we are gang! Don't you just love field trips?"
Following him off the bus were the raccoon and Heather, then Lindsay with her chameleon on her shoulder, and finally Shawn who had to pull his bear through by the paw.
"The woods? Again?" Heather asked.
"Your next challenge is to find your way back to the film lot," Chris told them as an angled shot of some trees nearby was shown. "A ten mile hike through these woods," the camera panned back to the castmates, "using only your animal buddies to guide you," the host added and the shot moved over to the raccoon, chameleon, and bear as they shrugged in ignorance.
"But be careful," Chris warned. "Several vicious and life-threatening traps have been set up along the way."
"Who would do such a thing?" Lindsay got scared.
"Hint; it's the only guy here," Heather said.
"It wasn't me, so obviously it was you," Shawn accused Chris.
"Correct!" Chris confirmed. "First one back wins invincibility. Shawn gets to shave thirty minutes off his final time for winning the first challenge. Everyone ready?"
"Wait, where's Ezekiel?" Lindsay asked. "And where's that shark?"
Chris chuckled a bit. "They're just spending time together."
\
Ezekiel was standing on a rock supervising his shark. "I only have a couple of hours left before I can go home, and it's just you and me."
He realized that his pet had brought more sharks into the stream of water. "What the heck? Chris never told me I had to watch all of you."
\
"See you all back at the film lot," Chris told them as he took a step onto the bus, "and good luck." He boarded the bus, and moments later the door slid shut and it sped off in a cloud of dust.
The three teens lingered in the area for a moment, then slowly split up. Heather and the raccoon went left, Lindsay and the chameleon went right, and Shawn and the bear stood still.
Shawn saw the girls going their own ways. "I know how to get back. I'm a bit of a navigator," he told her companion, who smiled at the knowledge.
Confessional: Shawn
"If you want to know the inside of my bunker, check it out!" Shawn said before pulling out blueprints and showing his first page. "Entrance chamber with eye-scan entry and remote lasers here, here, and here. And here and here. And here." He turned to the next page. "Master bedroom with bite-proof bedspread and weaponized pillows, and just in case…" the page turned, "this is the panic room." He flipped one last time. "And this is the panic room inside the panic room. Can't be too careful."
Confessional Ends
Heather and her raccoon were shown wandering through the woods and searching around.
"How did Jo manage to do this part of the challenge?" Heather rambled. "It was a stranded episode, but I still don't know which way she went."
The raccoon rolled their eyes, but still followed Heather.
\
The camera flashed to Lindsay walking through the woods. "No offense," she said to her companion, "but I think I should've picked the bear. Shawn must be lucky riding on their back."
Whether or not the chameleon got offended, they turned themselves invisible. "What the? Where did you go? I can't lose you!" Lindsay frantically ran about trying to locate her pet.
The camera moved to show her stepping on a string hidden behind a small shrub. It snapped, and a rock was launched out of a nearby bush by what looked like a small catapult. It hit Lindsay in the stomach, causing her to kneel over.
"Those were the traps," Lindsay wheezed out before collapsing.
Confessional: Lindsay
"One of the things I would've liked to do with my money is spend it on a lifetime supply of lip gloss, but I canceled it because there's more things to value," Lindsay confessed. "Like creating a brand new style of lip gloss."
Confessional Ends
Back with Ezekiel, he was sitting down as he watched the sharks racing each other. He pulled out some cake pieces from the one Shawn and his pet created and proceeded to eat them.
"I should've packed them in a bag if I didn't want syrup in the pockets, but I'll make do," Ezekiel shrugged before a shark swallowed all of his pieces. "Hey! If you wanted a piece, you should have just asked!" he said angrily.
This wasn't the smartest thing to say as the sharks chomped their jaws and went towards his direction.
Not wanting to potentially die, Ezekiel took out the last of his cake slices. "If you want these, go get them!" He threw them far away, causing the sharks to forget about Ezekiel and swim for the cake. "That was close."
\
The camera cut to Heather as he followed the raccoon. "Are you sure you know where we're going?" she asked. "I am not going to lose because of you leading us in circles."
The raccoon growled, but still stayed by her side.
"Of course I'll be upset," Heather replied. "I have plans for when I win the million bucks."
Confessional: Heather
"When I win, I'm thinking of my own spin-off series. The World According to Heather," Heather described it. "Luckily, I'm up against the dimwit and the nutcase. So they may as well just give me the money, I mean come on. I think we all know who's gonna win."
Confessional Ends
"Chameleon, where did you wander off to?" Lindsay yelled as she walked through the woods, "We have to be together so we can make it to the film lot."
The camera followed her to show that she was rapidly approaching a large patch of ground with a suspiciously large number of sticks and branches on it. "Could this be the way home?" As soon as Lindsay stepped onto the odd patch of ground, the branches snapped and she fell with a holler into the pit that had been hidden. "Booby traps!"
\
Shawn and his bear were strolling along. You know," he told his companion, "I can say that I trust you. If you were robotic or built by Chris and the producers, there wouldn't be any trust." The bear giggled happily.
The camera followed them as they came across a pile of leaves. As soon as they hit it, a net seemed to appear in the leaves under their feet and dragged them up in a suspended bundle.
"This isn't good. We have to get down," Shawn mentioned.
Confessional: Shawn
"I never thought I would see the day where I got captured in a booby trap," Shawn said.
Confessional Ends
"I have an idea!" Shawn said as he grabbed some nearby blueberries and gave them to the bear. "You eat as many blueberries as you can. If we're lucky, your increased weight can get us out."
Shawn took out a piece of wood bark carved into a knife. "I'll use this to cut holes into the trap just to help us."
\
The camera flashed to Heather and the raccoon outside a small cave. "I don't think there's a time for breaks," she told her companion. The raccoon snarled viciously and crawled into the cave. "As long as we're quick," she complied and followed her pet.
Inside the cave was the raccoon's surprisingly luxurious den. There was a reading corner, a kitchen, a ping-pong table, and even a big screen TV.
"You guys are civilized?" Heather said in shock upon seeing the den. "This resembles my house, but much smaller." A raccoon walked by and offered her a sandwich from a tray. "One sandwich? I'll take more than that," she said as she took three.
The raccoon, holding a paddle, chirped at her from the ping-pong table. "Ping pong? Like I would pass up on that offer," Heather said before going over.
\
The camera went to the pit Lindsay fell into. She had dirt all over her body along with leaves, her boots were gone, leaving her barefooted, and she was drifting into insanity.
"I'm so hungry," Lindsay croaked out. "What can I eat that's edible?"
She pulled out her lipstick and took the tube off before biting into it. "Tastes just like cherries."
\
Meanwhile, as Shawn was sawing through the net, the bear had its belly and mouth covered from all the berries they were currently eating on. After a few more seconds, the net finally burst and the duo fell into the ground.
"We're free!" Shawn whooped. "Time to get back to the lot."
\
The scene skipped ahead to a shot of the afternoon sun high in the sky, the camera panning down and to the right to show Chris standing alone by the cast trailers. A little ways to the left was a meager finish line flanked by tall red flags.
"Shawn and his bear!" Chris announced as he saw them coming to the lot. "Nice one!" He proceeded to high five Shawn. "You're the first team to arrive, and for being the first one back, you get a guaranteed spot in the final two."
Confessional: Shawn
"Going to the finale!" Shawn whooped with the bear next to him. "Training pets can be a hassle, but as long as they're not your enemies, you can bond well with them!"
Confessional Ends
"Where is everyone?" Shawn asked the host, both watching the woods along with the bear.
"Sure they'll be here any minute," Chris answered while looking at his watch.
"I'm back!" the voice of Ezekiel announced as he entered the scene.
"Where's the shark, Zeke?" Chris wondered.
"It met some friends in the water," Ezekiel described the situation, "or its family."
"As long as a mammal is reunited with their family, I'm cool with it," Chris shrugged.
\
\
The camera panned to the sun as it set, then the moon rose, then the moon set and the sun rose. The shot panned back to them waiting for the remaining contestants, with Chris having grown a large and bushy beard, and the bear asleep.
"Any... minute... now," Chris said weakly, still looking at his watch.
"It's been days," Shawn pointed out. "Maybe we should send out a search party."
"And here they come now!" Chris announced brightly before speeding off screen. The camera pulled back to show Victor and his raccoon and a soaking wet Heather and her fox walking up to the brickhouse.
"Are you guys ok?" DJ asked. "What took you so long?"
"I lost track of time when spending time with Lord Montague," Victor said while gesturing to the raccoon.
"And I wound up taking the wrong river," Heather explained through chattering teeth.
A familiar shout caught their attention and they turned to see Kitsune, now sporting and eye-patch and the parrot on her shoulder, swing into the film lot on a vine. "Argh!" She said in a thick pirate accent. "It be good to be back in me home port."
"Welcome back cast," said a clean shaven Chris. "Better late than never. DJ and his bear buddy easily won the challenge, which means invincibility. DJ gets a free pass into the Final Three."
"Shiver me timbers!" Kitsune cried. "Good job me boy!"
"The question is; Who will join him in the Final Three?" Chris asked. "And who will be the next one outta here? The answer will be revealed on the most exciting Gilded Chris ceremony ev-ah!"
"Now be the time to make the treacherous wench walk the plank!" Kitsune told her allies, who just gave her confused and concerned looks.
"Faith!" Heather groaned. "You're so annoying!"
"Who be Faith?" The goofball asked in genuine curiosity. "I be One-Eyed Foxy, the deadliest pirate on the Seven Seas! And this here's me faithful parrot, Eddie," she added with an affectionate rub of the parrot's head.
"She spent too long in a pit," the parrot explained. "Rawk!"
Heather walked up to the goofball, then slapped her across the face. Kitsune's pupils shrunk and she blinked a couple of times. "Thanks," she said begrudgingly. "I needed that."
XXX
"I must say," Victor said, "this has been one of the strangest few days of my life. At least I do not have to vote for DJ now. And maybe Chris will realize that a mole is no longer necessary"
XXX
[A grand theme played as the camera zoomed in on the amphitheatre. Several film strips of the host's highlights from the previous season flew past the screen, then the camera panned out from a solid gold screen to show a Guilded Chris.]
\
"This is a big one cast," Chris told the four teens from his podium. "DJ's safe from elimination which means the rest of you, are fair game. So," he mined a cat's claws scratching, "sharpen those claws and cast your votes. Someone is going home for the last time."
"Pfft," DJ scoffed. "Sorry girl, but you gotta go." He made his vote, and the screen shrunk into the top-left of the screen.
Kitsune sighed in relief as she made her vote. "Now that's satisfying." She shrank into the bottom-right.
"Like it matters at this point," Heather spat bitterly as she made her vote. She shrank into the top-right.
"There really is one choice," Victor said as he made his vote. He shrunk into the bottom-left.
A close-up of Chris grew from the center of the screen and stopped just before it overlapped with any of the castmates' faces.
"The Gilded Chris goes to..." the host announced. "DJ! And Kitsune!" The screen cut to Chris at the podium. "Heather, since you were the only one who didn't vote for you, it's time for your ride home."
"Finally!" Kitsune cheered.
"And Victor will be joining you," Chris added, causing everyone to gasp.
"But why?" DJ asked.
"Let's just say he had some special caused in his contract that he is now in breach of," the host answered.
"But DJ was immune!" Victor protested. "What would you have me do?"
"I don't know," Chris answered with a shrug. "Maybe sabotage DJ like we told you to," the other three gasped again.
"So Sugar was right?" Heather asked in disbelief.
XXX
"Confession time," Kitsune said. "I kinda knew Sugar was telling the truth. Seriously guys, Victor's a terrible liar."
XXX
Victor sighed and stood up. "I apologize for my actions and I hope that you will forgive me," he told his allies. "Please know that had I not been contractually obligated, I never would have influenced your votes like I had."
"Don't sweat it," Kitsune said with a wave of her hand. "We can't help the things this show makes us do."
"And it's not like you gave anyone an advantage in the competition," DJ added. Victor, upon hearing their words, beamed brightly.
"I'm not okay with it!" Heather shouted. "What was the point in the vote if you were gonna boot him anyway?!"
"Huh," Chris said. "I did not think about that."
"So that means that I can stay and he can go right?" Heather asked.
"Not really, all votes are final," the host explained. "And even so, technically he was disqualified after you were voted off."
"Well you'll be hearing from my lawyers!" Heather threatened.
"Considering that his being here kept you in the game for like three more episode," Chris replied, "I doubt you have a case."
The camera cut to a long distance shot of the film lot as a frustrated growl from Heather shook the screen.
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The scene flashed ahead to Heather and Victor getting escorted to the Lame-osine by Chef. "You'll be penniless! Jobless! Your name'll be mud on every blog from here to Cape Breton!" Heather yelled back at the host. "You think you were in trouble when Alejandro sued?! I'll make you wish you never met me!"
Victor got in the limo, Heather was thrown in by Chef, and the cook slammed the door shut. It sped off in a cloud of dust, and the shot cut back to the start of the red carpet where the host stood flanked by the two finalists. "DJ! Kitsune!" he announced, putting his arms around their shoulders. The two
Victor got in the limo, Heather was thrown in by Chef, and the cook slammed the door shut. It sped off in a cloud of dust, and the shot cut back to the start of the red carpet where the host stood flanked by the two finalists. "DJ! Kitsune!" he announced, putting his arms around their shoulders. The two smiled brightly at the camera. "The Final Two! One of you will become a millionaire! And the other...will
The host rose his arms and knocked the two down in the process. "Tune in to our most controversial episode ever, of, Total! Drama!
(Roll the Crdits
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(Bonus
The Gentleman and The Queen Bee both sat in the limo in an awkward silence. "So," Victor
"Don't talk to me," Heather
"Pardon me for attempting to dispel the tension," he replied
"Well I'm sorry," Heather said in frustration. "But I just lived through six weeks of torture, the guy I kinda have a crush on is head over heels with the most annoying person on the planet, and to top it all off I was just voted off. By you! So excuse me if I'm ot in the mood to talk. Especially considering if you'd done your job as a mole, I'd still be in the
Victor pursed his lips. "You do realize that even without my vote you still would have been voted off. Also, the fact that the producers had to hire someone to keep you on the show should tell you
Heather opened her mouth but Victor cut her off. "But by all means, continue your sul
16th/15
16th/15th:
13th:
13th: S
12th
11th:
10th:
9th:
8th: Mik
7th: Amney
6th:
5th:
3