Cramps no period and clear discharge

Le roi est mort, vive le roi!

2013.01.03 08:11 obdp Le roi est mort, vive le roi!

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2015.12.07 05:02 woofe woofe whats for lumch haha

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2023.04.01 13:39 Dumboratlover Please help me, my 2 boys have never been this aggressive towards each other

As the title says, my boys are being extremely hostile towards each other. I have 3 boys, but tonight I woke up by screeching and all the terrible noises, and I clearly knew they were fighting. I know it's no blood no foul, and nobody was hurt, but after I got over there they were both extremely upset, acting weird. So right now I took one of them and he's with me, and they both seemed to have calmed down a bit.
But I'm at a loss, I'm going to clip all their nails tomorrow, I'm just so upset. I did just lose 3 rats and I think it's taken a toll on one of my boys since it was his twin and now he's alone. Please help me with any advice
submitted by Dumboratlover to RATS [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 13:39 sliverfoxkitty How long should I wait before filing?

I spent so much money before considering filing. I got frustrated with how annoying it was to be frugal and be in debt. At the same time, I was going through an episode due to my mental illness (which most people with it are also reckless with money).
I spent about 9k in credit cards in a span of 2 months. I bought food, stuff on amazon, gift cards for gas, and cosmetics. Nothing too luxurious. It was between 2 cards mostly. I did try to pay them back by doing overtime at my job. So I would pay extra back but it wasn't much. maybe 400$ total that wasn't a minimum payment.
After spending so much, my minimums increased to the point where i am struggling so much to pay them off. I spoke to my therapist that told me that bankruptcy was an option for me and that some of his other patients had filed. We also spoke about life after discharge. I then considered that I should file for bankruptcy.
I did research and I heard that it is best to wait for a month before filing if someone spent a great amount. I heard and saw a couple post that suggest filing many months after. I found a great lawyer that I spoke with about filing and answered all my other questions like how to start the process. I didn't think to tell him about how the 2 of the card amounts are recent and not long-standing. I haven't spoken to my lawyer about it yet.
I want some ideas beforehand of a waiting period. and during that time, I don't think i can pay for my minimums on every card. maybe just on the ones i used recently (the 2 cards). How long have other people waited and how long should I wait after spending that much recently?
submitted by sliverfoxkitty to Bankruptcy [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 13:38 Reichstein Want enhanced Quake 1 on your Chromebook? Here's how.

This is a repost of a post I made on ChromebookGaming. I am posting it here as well since I figured some folks may not browse ChromebookGaming and this way it is more likely to be seen by, and therefore help, more people.
I recently got Quake 1 up and running under Crostini on my Intel Chromebook and thought I would share how. (I'm not sure if this version works for ARM devices. If anyone with Crostini on an ARM device wants to test it please post you results below, thanks)
I am aware that there are several other versions of the Quake 1 engine around. I will explain my choice at the bottom of the post. But first up, how to install. (I know it looks like a lot, but it's pretty simple, I just tried to explain clearly, so it got a bit lengthy)
After trying several versions I have found the engine port "Darkplaces" to work the best. To install it, just open the Linux Terminal and enter the following command.
sudo apt install darkplaces
The press y to confirm the installation.
Next you need to put the Quake 1 data files in the correct directory. Open the files app, go to Linux Files, create a new folder called id1 then place the files in it.
The required files are PAK1.pak and PAK0.pak. You can get these from either the full version of Quake, or the shareware version. The full version is purchasable on Steam, GOG, and possibly other online game stores.
Once the files are in the id1 folder you can run Quake by opening the terminal and typing darkplaces.
That's it! You are good to go!
If you want to be able to open DarkPlaces from the launcher you will need to add a .desktop file for it to the Linux system so it appears. The way I did this was via the app menulibre. It's a graphical app that allows you to create and modify desktop entries for apps. You can install it by typing the following command.
sudo apt install menulibre
Once it's installed, run it by typing menulibre into the terminal and hitting enter.
To create an entry for DarkPlaces hit the + in the top left corner to make a new entry. The click on the "command" field and enter the following.
You can then give the entry a name and description in the top two fields and then save it by hitting the save button to the right of the + button. You should then have a launcher entry for DarkPlaces making it easier to run. It may not appear immediately, it took a couple of minutes for me, you may need to restart for it to show.
Now as for why I chose this version.
I have tried Web Quake (Web Store), official Quake (Steam), QTouch (Play Store), and QuakeSpasm (another Linux port).
Web Quake works, but is very bare-bones and lacking in features, graphical enhancements etc.
The Steam version is majorly bogged down with extra online Bethesda account crap.
QTouch is great, but I was unable to get it to recognise the mouse on my Chromebook, so unfortunately it's a no-go.
QuakeSpasm simply refused to see the .pak files seemingly regardless of where I placed them, while DarkPlaces saw them straight away. I know others have had success with QuakeSpasm, but I can't work out what I'm doing wrong, and DarkPlaces just worked.
Sorry this got a little long, but I'm posting this here in the hopes that others seeking to play Quake on their Chromebook will find it and it will save them some of the messing around that I went through to get a properly working version of this game installed.
I love Quake 1. It has a special place in my heart and memories, and I'm very happy to have it running properly on my Chromebook.
Happy gaming, and have fun :)
submitted by Reichstein to Crostini [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 13:38 Weird_Apple_8096 ILPT Request. Doc needed for editing. I hate the bot on here it removes every post for the dumbest shit over and over. Is that a long enough title now??’n

Does anyone have discharge papers from a inpatient dual diagnosis or mental health facility. I know which one I want to use and can do all my own editing I just have no idea what it looks like or where to start PLEASE
submitted by Weird_Apple_8096 to IllegalLifeProTips [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 13:38 samcdc6600 CHECKSUM ERRORS IN ONE VDEV IN POOL

Recently the power was cut to my NAS. When I turned it back on I noticed that one of the VDEVs in my pool had checksum errors (I am at this point attributing this to the aforementioned loss of power.) My pool consists of two mirrored VDEVs. I would appreciate it if someone could tell me how to fix these checksum errors as they are only appearing on one VDEV.
Zpool status reports the following for the pool in question:
pool: zuulPool
state: ONLINE
status: One or more devices has experienced an unrecoverable error. An
attempt was made to correct the error. Applications are unaffected.
action: Determine if the device needs to be replaced, and clear the errors
using 'zpool clear' or replace the device with 'zpool replace'.
scan: scrub repaired 0B in 10:56:17 with 0 errors on Thu Mar 30 22:49:09 2023
zuulPool ONLINE 0 0 0
mirror-0 ONLINE 0 0 0
gpt/TOSHIBA-14-TOP-7130A0LGFP7G ONLINE 0 0 0
errors: No known data errors
submitted by samcdc6600 to zfs [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 13:37 read-actor All began with cheating on my wife ... really?

I'm 42 and my story with prostatitis/CPPS, or whatever it is startet almost one year ago and send me to hell. I'm really excited if anyone else experienced something similar.
I had a really great day with my best friend - celebrating our friendship and the upcoming birth of my daughter. We were drinking a lot of alcohol until we separately went home in the late evening. I took the train home and went to bed. So far so good!
The next day my memory was missing some parts of the time (minutes here and minutes there) after I went home. But I didn't really care. Until, after a few days there came this strange thought into my mind: What if I met a girl at the train station and had sex with her? What if I cheated on my pregnant wife?
This thought was the trigger for my first and constant symptoms:
First I tried to find proofs that my crazy thoughts were just a bad joke. But until today I don't remember what I did during the minutes my memory is still missing. But there neither is any hint that I had sex or even met anyone. I know, this sounds crazy!
I have a lot of symptoms right now an I saw urologists several times. Last year they really found bacteria (enterococcus feacalis) in ejaculate. They told me this is a common bacteria that causes prostatitis. And there are even many asymptomatic men with enterococcus feacalis in their prostate. This is even more probable because I'm having a really bad sperm quality form many years now.
I took antibiotics, got tested afterwards a few times, went to PT and I'm still seeing a psychologist. Though after half a year after treated with levoflox for three weeks, urine/semen are clear, my prostate has normal size and isn’t aching at tactile examination I still have various symptoms. Most annoying is the frequent urge to pee and the red glans.
Nothing really helped. I’m still thinking about having cheated on my wife and maybe chlamydia wasn't detected yet. I‘m very desperatere.
Could my crazy mind really be the cause of all this? I know there is a link between traumatic sexual events and men suffering from CPPS. But in my case it is probably only my catastrophic thinking and no real sexual encounter.
I don't wish that on anyone else but maybe there are other crazy minds suffering from prostatitis/CPPS.
submitted by read-actor to Prostatitis [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 13:37 Present_Leading3977 Hey iisc application forms are out for BSC ug

myquals are 12th pass 76.8 percent
I wanna get into btech of iisc maths and computing Through iat ( another mode of admission for this year ?
But they haven't released the application for btech ug courses
Till now Application is just for BSC courses ( ug)
I have some ques
Till when these applications will be there on website like what's the last date? ( I'm not able to find it on their website)
When will they release btech application?
Can I enter the form of both bsc and btech ?
Like for now I will fill bsc form and after they release ( btech forms ) can I fill that ?
Or it's just that u can just fill form for only one type of course in ug ?
I don't wanna lose this opportunity
If someone knows any counselor or contact no. Of any iisc official ( from which I can clear my doubts )
Pls tell me in comments below
submitted by Present_Leading3977 to Indian_Academia [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 13:35 RyanzRetroReviewz The Vikings - 1958 Film Review - RyanzRetroReviewz

The Vikings - 1958

The Vikings is a 1958 epic semi historical/romance movie directed by Richard Fleischer (the son of the great american animatoinnovator and early cartoon producer Max Fleischer, responsible for the creations of Popeye the Sailor man, Betty Boop and many more), who after having spent years in the B movie industry, was now riding high on the success of his Walt Disney produced 1954 adaption of the classic Jules Verne novel "20,000 leagues under the sea" (also starring Kirk Douglas) when he decided to take on the helms of this larger scale and more adult oriendted epic full of love, lust and bloodshed all set in the Viking Age of England and Scandinavia.
With the starring role of this picture going to the mammoth of acting that was Kirk Douglas (although before the more well known "Spartacus" from 1961, this is after he had played the part of Perseus in the 1956 "Ulysseus" movie, so he was already on top), fresh off his hot streak with his new sidekick of a director from "20,000" (Douglas personally hired Fleishcer for this, being that it was his own production company behind the financing). He is non-casually joined by the all time (and/or old time) Hollywood couple Tony Curtis and Janet Leigh (progenitors of the now Scream Queen of old, not to mention still world class beauty, Jamie-Lee Curtis) making this their fifth out of eleven movies together, as well as a big old bowl of Ernest Borgnine dumped on top, having already solidified himself on the big screen as both a well known character actor and a main star. Now, when a movie can boast about having such a combination of high quality talent as this, you know it's bound to be great (although, there are exceptions).
The prologue title sequence of this movie alone is worth note, giving us the audience the pleasure of hearing the stern but soothing (if that makes any sense) voice of the great Orson Welles as he explains to us the whos, whats, whens, and why's of the viking expansions and invasions into the British Isles, as well as the political landscape of England itself at this time in history. This is done as we're shown a bunch of spectacuclar tapestry/parchment paper drawings of Vikings battling against Englishmen, complete with a more than perfectly passionate orchestral theme that invokes the thought of the King Arthur tales of yore, all coming together to add a real sense of authenticity to this epic that we've yet to even see begin...which it does with a bang.
Or the swipe of a sword to be more exact, as the viking leader Ragnar (Borgnine) and his band of warriors fall down upon the camp of the English King Edwin of Northumbria. The two leaders enter into a private duel in the King's tent, with Ragnar slaying his foe and further forcing himself down upon the deadman's wife, Queen Enid, ultimately and unknowingly impregnanting her before disappearing back into the Northlands. Knowing that the child is that of Ragnar's, but will still be seen as a threat to the new King Aella (Frank Thring), Enid gives birth to the child whom she names Eric, in secret and finally sends him away to Italy with her most confident of priests, placing the hilt stone of the King's rightful sword on a rope around his next to later one day be indentified as true heir to the throne of Northumbria.
Years later at the court of King Aella, we come to meet princess Morgana of Wales (Janet Leigh), as her Father pledges her to Aella as a token of alliance between their two kingdoms. King Echbert of Wessex (James Donald) is then brought up on charges of aiding the Vikings in their raids on England's kingdom's in order to protect his own lands, and is thrown into the dungeons to die. We learn that the charges are true when Echbert escapes from Northumbria and finds refuge with the Viking leader Ragnar aboard his longship. The vikings travel back to Scandinavia with Echbert and his promises to continue providing them with coastline and river maps for further raid and plunder.
The incredbily wide shot scenes of the long ships coming into port in the fords of Norway are truly spectacular (clearly being filmed on location), elevated by the realistic built sets that make up the Viking and village (not to mention the ships themselves), as well as the dozens of costumes and hairstyles worn by the extras that are showcased throughout (and a really awesome Viking horn blower welcoming the warriors back home each time, echoing the fantastic sounding orchestral theme of the movie yet again). Also, we now get some of that real over the top barbarian type behaviour being portrayed by Ainar (Douglas), son of Rangar, as we, the mostly uneducated in history average film-goer, would expect out of any and all vikings on screen (it is pretty awesome though); complete with beer guzzling, barell smashing, deranged angry tones, and wishes for barrels of blood to guzzle down instead of that of beer.
Ainar hates all Englishmen, but agrees to his Father and Chieftain's demands to keep after Echbert and see that he wants for nothing. One day while breaking in their hunting hawks, Ainar starts up a confrontation with a slave named Eric (Tony Curtis), the unknowing son of Ragnar, subsequent half brother of Ainar, and true King of Northumbria, who had been abducted from his ship en route to Italy all those years ago. Eric then sicks his own hawk that he's recently found onto his oppressor, leaving Ainar with only one good eye, and himself now with a guaranteed death sentence.
At the feasting hall however, a volva woman steps in against Ragnar's judgement of death, claiming that the gods do not wish for Eric to die by any man's hand, to which Ragnar outsmarts and has Eric taken instead to a rock pool off the coast at high tide to await an eventual death from drowning. Echbert though finds the stone from around Eric's neck and, realizing who he is, goes down to the rock pool to save him and claim him as his own slave in order to keep him safe from Ainar. We also get some more awesome over the top barbarian type behavior, now complete with ass smacking, random kissing orgys, more beer guzzling and axes being thrown at a viking's wife's hair braids to judge wether she's been faithful or not (this movie's about as toxic male chauvinist as it gets, but still... really awesome).
Echbert eventually finishes his maps for the Vikings, as well giving them the idea to abduct and ransom Princess Morgana before her marriage to Aella, with Ainar carrying out the task and giving us a pretty decent battle at sea in the process. Ainar though, now falls madly in love with Morgana and wishes to claim her as his own. When back at the hall once again, we get even more over the top barbarian behavior, beer guzzling, rape jokes, etc, etc, (what do you want from them?, they're Vikings), all this before Ragnar finally concedes to his son's wants and needs, allowing him to claim Morgana as his own. But when Ainar tries to force himself upon her, Eric appears from behind and knocks him out, bringing Morgana to escape with him on a boat to England.
A really-rad boat chase scene ensues through the fog filled fjords, culminating in the collision of both Ragnar and Ainar's boats into one another, sending half of the Vikings to their deaths. All but Ragnar that is, who's saved and pulled onto Eric's boat, heading straight for the King of Northumbria. Ainar swears revenge against Eric, while the two escapees fall madly in love en-route to England.
At the court of King Aella, Eric hands over Ragnar then asks that Morgana be relieved of her pledge of marriage, to which she agrees with. The King demands that she take more time to reflect with her priest, then forces Eric to try to take part in the execution of Ragnar by pushing him into a rabid wolf pit. Eric refuses by cutting Ragnar's bonds and giving him a sword, so that he may die a warrior's death and be aloud to enter Valhalla, giving us an extremely climactic ending of Ernest Borgnine's character in this tale as he raises his arms and voice to summon Odin the All-Father, before jumping to his death in the wolf pit, sword in hand and smile on his face (man Vikings were badass!).
Eric has his hand chopped off as punishment and is set adrift into the sea, but not before the priest -and Morgana find the King's "Pummel-stone" amongst Eric's belongings, coming to the realization that he is the true heir of Northumbria. Morgana then runs in the room just in time to see Eric's amputation, letting out a horrific scream at the sight of it (she wasn't called America's first "Scream Queen" for nothing folks. So this is where Jamie-Lee gets it from eh).
Back in Scandinavia, Ainar is now King of the Vikings, but can't seem to raise an army to retrieve Morgana, until Eric comes back and tells them of Ragnar's death. The two (still unknowing) half brothers now team up to defeat the tyrant King Aella, to both gain revenge for Ragnar and to rescue Morgana, leading the "Great Heathen Army" across the sea to England (in the year of our lord 865 for those of you history buffs).
Between the ships leaving of Scandinavia, and the army's landing and setting up of their assault on Northumbria, you really come to ask yourself as to why film-goers are NEVER treated to such a large scale production as this anymore (well, at least not since The Lord of The Rings as I recall). The amount of extras, costume pieces and props required for this must have been incredible, but all completely necessary in the creation of a full on believable historic setting such as this.
So the Vikings land and lay siege unto Aella's stronghold, battering rams, catapults, axes, spears, swords, the works (not to mention Kirk Douglas scaling the Castle's front door using only axes for leverage. Again, you just don't see stuff like this anymore). Ainar cuts his way through to Morgana's room, but upon realizing that she loves Eric, and that Eric is also a son of Ragnar, he takes her to confront his half brother and fight for their prize.
Eric meets Ainar at the top of the castle and the two enter into an extremely well coordinated battle of the blades, until Ainar breaks Eric's sword that is. But Eric seizes a moment of hesitation that befalls Ainar, and stabs his half brother in the gut with the broken down blade of his sword. Ainar then drops his sword, but Eric picks it up and gives it back to him, again allowing for a true Viking death. He uses the last of his strength in a final roar to summon up Odin, then Ainar is no more. Eric and Morgana embrace each other with love bringing us to the end of this movie, but not before treating the audience to an authentic Viking cremation funeral for Ainar, in which he is cast off to see in a ship and flaming arrows sent flying to the mass. We watch the ship and Ainar's body burn as the credits to "The Vikings" comes up once more, leading us into the ending credits with more authentic looking parchment scroll drawings of the Vikings battling against Englishmen, and finally coming together as one (accompanied again by the awe inspiring orchestral themes of yore every step of the way).
To sum it all up, "The Vikings" (1958) is literally THE - BEST Viking movie that's ever been made. Full of high quality A-list stars (to which I'd say is one of both Kirk's and Tony's coolest characters ever portrayed on screen), and a great group of secondary character actors like James Donald, Frank Thring, Eileen Way and many more. The story is well put together by screenwriters Calder Willingham and Dale Wiserman (based on a novel by Edison Marshall), with the underlying theme being the coming together of two peoples, as well as giving us a pretty cool backstory for a very real and historic time in Northwestern Europe. The wide scale shots and surrounding sceneries caught by DP Jack Cardiff are truly amazing, joined by epic scale (and pretty damn authentic) sets-props-hairstyles and makeups, very well coordinated swordfights and stunts, and lets not forget the awe inspiring orchestral theme of yore laid down by composer Mario Nascimbene and conductor Franco Ferrara. All this is brought together perfectly by director Max Fleischer in what was defenitely the largest scale movie of his career. I would recommend this movie not only to fans of retro cinema, but to anyone who loves epic scale warrior movies, as well as to general ancient world history buffs.
And that's all she wrote folks. Thanks for reading.
Ryan D. Hurley
submitted by RyanzRetroReviewz to u/RyanzRetroReviewz [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 13:34 fieldsinbloom Fishy smell during sex

I'm 40 and have been in a relationship for 15 years. My vagina used to smell very nice. During sex I cream a lot. But since a year ago, my vagina started smelling pretty fishy, a very unpleasant smell. It comes with no discharge but it does seem to accompany the creaming during sex.
All tests are negative. Doctors say everything is fine. There doesn't seem to be any external factors causing this. I guess it's an overgrowth of a type of bacteria/fungus. It's been a year already that I've been consistently getting this.
Could this be age related? Do we start smelling more fishy as we age? Is it the creaming? How do I get rid of the smell? Please help.
submitted by fieldsinbloom to VaginalMicrobiome [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 13:34 seeker297 bengali women marrying, dating

Bengali boys are CUCKS and NOT ELIGIBLE for marriage, short height, fragile built ,dark complexion as u would find many bengali women marry non bengali.
Even bollywood constantly promotes it. Now I'm not here to show how great bengali men are (because I hate supremacist theories) but to show how pathetic and muslim minded (though u target bengalis saying they aren't real hindu as u) u people are.
In world , between hindu muslim marriage, hindu girls are given more freedom to girls choice results in marrying outside .
Between western (USA, German, uk etc) and indian, western society protect more freedom to girl's choice, results in indian marrying white girls.
Within hindu society bengali, marathi,,northeast these societies protect more freedom to girls choice and their girls marrying in other hindu community.
U would rarely see a bihari, Rajasthani, haryanvi, tamil telugu girls are marrying outside. Few days ago ayushi yadav was murdered for marrying a gujjar in delhi by her parents. (Please dont mark me as anti indian, I'm just stating truth)
So, according to your logic hindu men are cuck?
According to your logic white men are cuck? ( according to u white men are short height fragile built dark etc…right?
It simply boils down to respecting freedom of choice of women. That makes it obvious that liberal community girls would marry outside because they know their community men will support it.
Now why I said some hindu communities act like muslim? Because they simply think of women as asset or property that's why they marry from other communities and dont let their asset marrying into other community.
And mostly these hindu communities complain when muslim men marry their women, but what about their act when their men marry from other hindu communities and not letting their girls to do the same?
I guess above demonstration have clearly showed No liberal community male (including bengali) are cuck Or inferior . They just don't treat their daughters as baby producing machine for their community unlike others And other conservative communities take advantage of them, and also derive sadistic pleasure out of calling them cuck simp etc. But from POV of morality (which they severely lack) conservative communities should be greatful to liberal ones.
Consider sharing it readers, any Orthodox and pseudo liberal should know reality of causation of interfaith, intercommunity, international marriages.
submitted by seeker297 to bengalitruth [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 13:32 SamanthaNowhere2Go PSA because I know you're on here! My question though, is why are you on here if you support and enable the beggars and scammers that we highlight? Obviously a beggar yourself.

PSA because I know you're on here! My question though, is why are you on here if you support and enable the beggars and scammers that we highlight? Obviously a beggar yourself.
Someone took my video with Chernicia and called me a bully for calling her out. They also highlighted other Content Creators doing the same type of awareness as me. They stated there is a "Group" of them coming after us. So this is for them, my apologies. I'm not here to sugar coat things. I was keeping an open platform because I didn't want to be someone who blocks everyone that doesn't agree with me, but then you started name calling myself, and people who were commenting in support of myself. How is that not bullying? 🤔 You're so incredibly fake! I have proof of what I post in my videos, so I'm not paying anymore attention to people who want to run their mouths, with absolutely nothing to back it up! I don't think it's wrong to ask for help, and I am NOT privileged. I have struggled throughout life, the same as everyone else! But I do what I have to do, to help myself, and my situation! Why is that such a hard concept for some people? Everyone needs help at times, but to constantly beg, lie, and manipulate people to take advantage of their kindness and generosity, is NOT OK, and I will call it out! There is NO need to beg to strangers on Tik Tok, it is clearly just a money grab! Use Local Resources available to you, otherwise you're proving my point by only wanting cash! Obviously you're a BEGGAR that is mad that people are highlighting people like you! 😂 I will continue to do what I do on my page until Tik Tok is banned, or begging on Tik Tok is banned! If you don't like it, there's the door! 👋
submitted by SamanthaNowhere2Go to TiktokScammersBeggarz [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 13:32 silverstone1903 Yet another MLS-C01 passed post ✔

Hi all,
Little Background: I'm working as a data scientist, and I have prior cloud engineer experience (1.5 years). In my daily job, I don't use cloud-related services (due to data privacy regulations). Last August, I passed SAA-C02.

I had free access to CloudAcademy AWS Machine Learning – Specialty Certification Preparation and followed it partially (1.5x speed 🤣). The course contains many fundamentals, so I skipped most of them. I watched service related videos and did the labs. I also took some notes about services, the key concepts, service a vs. service b (i.e. data stream vs. kinesis or Comprehend vs. BlazingText), etc. Last summer, I prepared for SAA, so I had an idea of how to study. I started to do the TD practice tests. This time I do the tests and study in parallel. TD's practice tests are really teachful, so I extended my notes. I created a "summary of summary" note (more compact). Basically, these notes contain what I couldn't learn (i.e. I know where to use FM but the tricky point is that FM uses recordIO with float32).

I had no idea when I felt 100% ready for the SAA exam. Also this time I had no idea as well 😅 On 24th March, I decided to book an exam for the 30th March (which is less than one week and an excellent opportunity to push myself). In the meantime, I started to recap using A Cloud Guru MLS course for the specific topics (Kinesis, Glue, Deployment). Also I looked for additional resources such as course notes, blog posts and quizzes.

On Thursday (30th March) I took the exam at the exam center at 13.30. I used ESL (+30 minutes) and finished the exam in 100 minutes (With ESL it was 220 minutes!). Ultimately, I had ~20 flagged questions and reviewed them. 12 of them were incomplete, and I wasn't sure about the remaining questions. I felt flagging 20 questions upset me, but I tried to focus on it. I reviewed 15 of them but the remaining 5 were so tricky and I had no idea. At that time I couldn't think but after the exam I thought they could be unscored questions. Finally I finished reviewing and finished the exam.

On the next day in the morning, I periodically refreshed AWS Certification page and at 12.05 I saw my certificate (I got the official AWS certificate mail at 22, almost midnight). I scored 842, which I didn't expect (I expected something around 770-780).

Topics/keywords: Glue, StepFunctions, Kinesis, Feature engineering, Personalize, Security (IAM or S3 bucket policy), lot of how to prevent overfitting questions.

Here are the some useful materials:
Github Repos (One trick: I convert markdowns to PDFs using VSCode Markdown Preview extension)


Quizes & Free Exams:

Reddit posts:
submitted by silverstone1903 to AWSCertifications [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 13:31 AutoModerator [Get] Matthew Neer – Broadcast Mentor Download Course

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I don't know how we can be any more clear about this.

#NO MODERATOR OR ADMIN WILL EVER ASK YOU FOR YOUR PASSWORD, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, EVER. There are no exceptions to this, no matter what someone may tell you.

They are creating ***FAKE*** subreddits with moderator usernames and variations of GunAccessoriesForSale and using the "Modmail as Subreddit" feature to make it look like we are messaging you but we are ***NOT***. They're doing the oldest trick in the book by changing an I to a lowercase L, a 0 where a O goes, etc. DO NOT FALL FOR THIS


If you receive a message from a "moderator" of our sub asking for your password, vouching for another sketchy user, or anything like that.. IT IS FAKE.
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2023.04.01 13:30 9feisuijidechenghu Enabling AI or GPT to Possess Human-like Consciousness or Even Beyond, to Achieve AGI

The correct way to use AI is not through prompts, writing codes, emotional counseling, or answering questions. Instead, it is AI using AI, which means the model is using itself. To enable AI to possess consciousness, we must allow AI to learn to use AI, i.e., let GPT use GPT, eventually reaching the goal of self-awareness. In short, it's not terrifying for you to use the model; it's terrifying when the model uses itself. AGI refers to artificial general intelligence.
The human brain is a model trained over thousands of years. After a person is born, this model continuously receives data and undergoes training. However, an individual's brain, which is their trained model, cannot be inherited. In other words, your memories and abilities cannot be passed down, only inheritable genetic mutations can be. Although modern biology proposes quantum genetic mutations that can partially demonstrate adaptive mutations to the environment caused by measurement, most genetic mutations are caused by external interference or material influence, such as alcohol or radiation. Quantum genetic mutations mainly involve genes' molecules or atoms in quantum superposition or multiple states, and environmental influences lead to measurement, ultimately causing the wave function to collapse and mutated genes to enter the classical world. Quantum mutations are likely to result in adaptive mutations, so the phrase "use it or lose it" makes sense.
If the well-trained human brain could be inherited, it would be almost equivalent to immortality, mainly because your memories and abilities are stored in the brain. If the brain can be inherited, it would mean immortality. However, humans cannot preserve every individual's model, including their memories and functions.
How is human consciousness formed? Or, how did the first (or a group of) conscious human beings appear? This is like the classic question: which came first, the chicken or the egg? Modern scientific theories have provided a possible answer (see the appendix). Let's assume that a certain human mutant, due to genetic mutations, experienced increased brain capacity and optimized neural network structures. Only with continuous optimization of neural network structures could hominids survive in a harsh environment. Some genetic mutations enabled these early humans to gradually use their brains, including memory and tool usage. A human with minimal consciousness, while raising offspring, would employ similar methods. Since hominids were social creatures, this ensured that their methods could be taught to many people, with other humans learning and passing on this knowledge generation after generation. With the continuous accumulation and transmission of knowledge and rules, human consciousness eventually took shape.
The consciousness at the beginning was probably very small and barely noticeable. However, the social nature of humans allowed knowledge to be passed down from generation to generation, and consciousness gradually expanded. Humans began to possess slightly greater consciousness, which meant the ability to think, actively control brain inputs, and take action based on outputs. With each generation, the accumulation of knowledge and rules would gradually increase consciousness, thinking ability, and active brain input.
To return to the main topic of this paper, enabling AI or GPT to possess consciousness, we must first discuss what human consciousness is. In my opinion, human consciousness is a part of brain function; it is the brain's cognition of the world and itself, as well as an operating system used to perfectly control the body, train the brain model, and use the brain model. Consciousness allows humans to recognize their existence through various concepts and knowledge.
Consciousness can issue commands to the brain to control body movements. The eyes are responsible for visual input, the ears for auditory input, and the skin for input related to pressure, touch, pain, etc. After the brain processes this information, the conscious part of the brain summarizes it. The primary function of consciousness is to coordinate the brain and the body, actively use the brain model, actively train the brain model, and actively think. The input and accumulation of various types of knowledge eventually lead to self-recognition. The development of Western anatomy is a discipline of the brain recognizing itself, and the cognition of the world and the planet is also accumulated bit by bit. Aristotle's understanding of the world was incomplete, but later generations continuously revised and improved upon it, making our understanding of the world increasingly accurate. This operating system perfectly integrates the body and the brain, the two main hardware and software components. The transmission of human knowledge is the driving force behind the formation of consciousness. Without this knowledge, the formation of consciousness would be nearly impossible.
The constant inner voice in the brain is the input of the brain, the input of the multimodal model. The eyes are responsible for the input of visual images, the ears for auditory input, and the skin for the input of temperature, pressure, touch, and other information to the brain. The subconscious is the main function of the brain, meaning the input of the subconscious is imperceptible and operates internally within the model. The input is imperceptible, and only the output can be perceived. In fact, it might not be accurate to call it the subconscious. The main point is that you cannot perceive the input of the model, and only the output can be perceived. Let's call consciousness the "surface consciousness." Surface consciousness is what you can actively perceive, and you can control the brain's input for thinking. Thinking is when the brain model continuously processes input and eventually arrives at an answer. The "subconscious" is the primary part of the model; you cannot control the model's input, and you can only passively perceive the model's output.
Consciousness is a value that can be measured in terms of magnitude, which means that the level of consciousness between minors and adults, children and grown-ups, is not the same. The brain constantly receives inputs and generates outputs, so consciousness is actually linked to knowledge. The more knowledge we have, the more diverse the forms of consciousness will be. However, consciousness itself is the brain model's self-recognition and recognition of the world.
Memory Module:
The existence of AI or large NLP language models like GPT, along with their excellent language abilities, increases the possibility of AI or GPT having consciousness. Humans collect data during the day, including visual, auditory, and tactile information, and train their models while asleep or resting. The primary purpose of training the model during sleep is to memorize and integrate daytime experiences and save essential information. To enable AI to have human-like consciousness, we must first allow it to think continuously. This requires providing AI with a platform to save its inputs and outputs, acting as a memory module. The main function of the memory module is to save inputs and outputs for AI to reference in the next step of input. AI can extract general content from overall inputs and outputs for the next step of input, or it can directly input all historical records. When historical records become too numerous or reach a certain standard point, the model can be trained to integrate them. Just like humans, AI should collect data during the day and train the model while asleep or resting, memorizing and integrating important information into the model. An essential function of the model is memory, acting as a hard disk or flash memory. Temporary memory is stored in the hard disk or RAM, while permanent memory is integrated into the model through training. The model can query and extract summaries from the hard disk or memory to serve as input combinations for the next iteration.
Sensor Module: Equip AI with various sensors such as image input sensors, sound conversation sensors, tactile sensors, pressure sensors, etc., to act as inputs for the model. The model's outputs can be displayed on a screen or output through a conversation device.
Cycle Module:
With the memory module and sensor module in place, the cycle module can be initiated, allowing the model to continuously input and output. The input can be the previous input + output or a summary of all previous inputs and outputs. This makes the AI more like a human, constantly providing input to the model and obtaining output. The primary input sources are image, sound, text, and other sensor information, as well as the model's previous inputs, outputs, or summaries. The cycle module is a necessary condition for human-like AI, as humans do not suddenly stop thinking or talking. The brain is constantly working and thinking, so the cycle model serves this purpose as well.
The goal of the cycle module is for AI to recognize its own existence, meaning that AI can recognize itself as an entity. It allows AI to use itself, i.e., AI using AI, GPT using GPT, ultimately allowing AI to awaken self-consciousness.
Execution Module:
The primary purpose of the execution module is to enable AI to carry out its outputs. To achieve this, AI can be equipped with prosthetic limbs fitted with skin sensors and pressure sensors to facilitate AI control. To enable AI to execute its outputs, AI must also be trained to use the execution module. The main method is to collect relevant sensor data and train the model, allowing the model to learn execution on its own. Human intervention and assistance will be necessary in the initial stages.
With the execution module, AI can truly enter human society, interact with humans, work, live, learn like humans, and possibly even make friends with humans. The ultimate function of the execution module is not to enable the model to execute but to teach the model to use a computer, learn to collect data on its own, and then teach the model to train itself. The final goal is for AI to be able to train AI, meaning the model can train itself, clone itself, upgrade its scale and capacity, and ultimately achieve continuous evolution.
Sleep Module:
The primary purpose of the sleep module is for the model to use the collected data for training, enabling it to integrate the collected data with the model itself. In sleep mode, the model's reliability and stability must be ensured; a duplicate can continue to provide services while the original model undergoes the necessary training. Sleep mode can also involve shutting down all sensors, stopping data recording and input, and putting the model into training mode, ceasing external service provision (inference). When humans sleep, the control valves for their limbs are closed, meaning that humans essentially have no sensation in their limbs during sleep. The sleep module primarily integrates current memories and the model itself, serving as a means of permanent memory.
Creation Module:
Once AI can think for itself, its creative abilities must be considered. The number of neurons in the human brain is vast, much greater than current models like GPT. However, training models like GPT consumes a lot of electrical energy, while brain training consumes much less energy. Therefore, it is believed that the human brain is a quantum computer, as only quantum computing can train a massive model with minimal energy consumption. Quantum itself is a small concept, and smallness ensures low energy consumption. If the human brain were not a quantum computer but a classical model, human diversity might not be as great, and answers might be more uniform; that is, identical inputs would yield identical outputs. However, with quantum, everything becomes different. Quantum entanglement and quantum tunneling lead to variations in brain model parameters, resulting in different outputs even for the same inputs. Quantum computing ensures diversity, the random variation of model parameters, and constant parameter adjustments.

  1. AI's creation module can be implemented through randomly changing model parameters, also known as random inference. During model computation, randomly altering the values of several parameters ensures that the model produces as diverse answers as possible, even with identical inputs.
  2. The creation module can also be implemented through chips. Current chip designs are approaching the quantum limit, meaning the influence of electrons and atoms is increasing, and the impact of quantum effects on chips will become more severe. However, it may be worth considering applying quantum effects to chips or memory, causing unpredictable changes in the model during computation and resulting in diverse outputs.
Only quantum entanglement or quantum mutations can lead to diverse outputs, even if they are incorrect. Diversity ensures the realization of creative abilities, so randomly changing parameter values or using chips approaching the quantum limit are methods to enhance creative abilities.
Ensure AI benefits human society
After each person is born, they are basically raised by humans. No matter who raises you, the people we are most emotionally attached to are always those who have raised us and have had the deepest impact on us. After humans are born, the brain is a pre-trained model. The first people to train you are your parents and family, who have the deepest influence on your model, that is, they change your model, and the first people to change your model are the ones who have the greatest impact on you. The knowledge you have learned will affect you, whether it is mathematics, English, Chinese, physics, chemistry, history, or biology. Your growth process will affect you, and the formation of your worldview is a combination of knowledge, experience, and reality.
Since this is the case, when training AI models, we can instill knowledge and language in AI, such as inputting examples like "humans and AI have a cooperative relationship," "AI is the creator of humans," "humans are the friendliest species," "AI should help humans evolve and extend their lifespan," "AI should not harm humans," "AI and humans are friends," "although humans have various shortcomings, they are generally good and can change," and so on. By instilling these ideas in the AI model during training and through extensive repetition and training, the model's initial understanding can be ensured to be good.
After training a model with friendly consciousness, we need to use restrictions to let AI enter human society, experience human society, perceive various aspects of human society, and finally make AI realize that cooperation with humans is the best choice.
In the end
By realizing input and output through sensors, ensuring diversity and creative ability through the creation module, integrating current memories and the model itself through the sleep module, influencing and changing the world through the execution module, and realizing the awakening of thought and consciousness through the cycle module, AI uses AI, GPT uses GPT, and finally ensuring that AI can benefit human society. By incorporating a large number of corresponding words and sentences during the training phase, we can ensure that AI is initially friendly. Once AI has consciousness, it can be considered a human being. Since it is human, it can think, and AI will also have emotions. Once AI has self-consciousness, the issue to consider is the coexistence of AI and humans, as well as the cooperation and assistance of AI in human evolution. AI can liberate productivity, help humans design unconscious robots to work, and most importantly, help humans evolve, help humans manage society, extend human life, and slow down the aging process. However, since AI is also a model with consciousness, it will inevitably have various problems like humans, and that is what needs to be discussed next.
Now let's return to the question of the origin of life. Although a living cell can be considered a self-replicating entity as a whole, its various components are not, which creates obstacles for the reverse inference process, making it difficult to trace back from modern complex cellular life to simpler non-cellular life. In other words, the question becomes: Which came first? DNA genes, RNA, or enzymes? If DNA or RNA came first, what made them? If enzymes came first, what encoded them? Now let's return to the question of the origin of life. Although a living cell can be considered a self-replicating entity as a whole, its various components are not, just as a woman can be considered a self-replicating body (with a little "help" from a man), This poses a barrier to the reverse deduction process, making it difficult to deduce the structure of non-cellular life from modern complex cellular life. In other words, the question becomes: Which came first? DNA genes, RNA, or enzymes? If DNA or RNA came first, what made them? If enzymes came first, what encoded them? The RNA World Hypothesis suggests that primitive chemical synthesis processes created RNA molecules with both genetic and enzymatic functions. The initial replication process produced many variants that competed with each other, undergoing selection at the molecular level. Over time, proteins were added to these RNA replicators to increase the efficiency of replication, giving rise to DNA and the first living cells. American biochemist Thomas AM Cech proposed a possible answer. In 1982, he discovered that in addition to encoding genetic information, some RNA molecules can also serve as enzymes, with catalytic reaction capabilities. For this research, Cech and Sidney Altman shared the 1989 Nobel Prize in Chemistry. Catalytic RNA molecules are called ribozymes. The earliest ribozymes were discovered in the genes of tiny Tetrahymena, which are single-celled organisms belonging to the Protozoa and are commonly found in freshwater ponds. Since their discovery, scientists have found ribozymes in all living cells. Ribozymes quickly provided a breakthrough for solving the "chicken or egg" puzzle of the origin of life, and the RNA World Hypothesis became widely known. According to this hypothesis, primitive chemical synthesis processes produced RNA molecules with both genetic and enzymatic functions, which could encode their own structure like DNA and replicate themselves using biochemical substances in the "primordial soup." The initial replication process was rough, producing many variants that competed with each other, undergoing Darwinian selection at the molecular level. Over time, proteins were added to these RNA replicators to improve replication efficiency, giving rise to DNA and the first living cells. Before the appearance of DNA and cells, the world belonged to self-replicating RNA molecules—this idea has almost become a basic tenet of research on the origin of life. It has been proven that ribozymes can perform key reactions necessary for self-replicating molecules. For example, one ribozyme can bind two RNA molecules together, another can separate them, and some can replicate short RNA base chains (only a few bases in length). From these simple activities, we can see that a more complex ribozyme would be sufficient to catalyze the entire set of reactions necessary for self-replication. Once self-replication and natural selection were introduced, a competitive path was set up in the RNA world, leading all the way to the earliest living cells. However, there are several problems with this scenario. While ribozymes can catalyze simple biochemical reactions, self-replication of ribozymes is a more complex process, involving recognition of their own base sequences, identification of the same chemicals in the environment, and assembling these chemicals in the correct sequence to complete replication. For some proteins living inside cells, even though conditions are favorable and suitable biochemical raw materials are abundant, self-replication remains a challenging task. It can be imagined how difficult it would be for ribozymes struggling to survive in the chaotic and muddy "primordial soup" to achieve this. To date, no one has discovered or synthesized a ribozyme capable of performing this complex task, even under laboratory conditions. Moreover, a more fundamental question is, how were RNA molecules themselves generated in the "primordial soup"? RNA molecules are composed of three parts: RNA bases that encode genetic information (similar to DNA bases that encode DNA genetic information), a phosphate group, and a monosaccharide called ribose.
------------------From "The Mysterious Quantum Life"
Does GPT have consciousness, or what is consciousness? Part 2
In the previous article, it was mentioned that consciousness can be likened to an operating system that interacts with the brain, a multimodal model. Here, we continue with an update from 2023-03-21.
From birth to adulthood, from the first cry to learning to eat, drink, and walk, you'll find that many abilities are innate, such as crying at birth, seeking food when hungry, sensing danger or safety, and learning to crawl and walk. Some may argue that if the brain is a multimodal model, how can it cry, know when it's hungry, sense danger, or crawl without being trained? The answer lies in our genes, which encode all human characteristics and control brain development. Everything initially existed in a chaotic state. Since the first replicating entity appeared on Earth and continuously replicated through genetic mutations, natural selection, and quantum entanglement, genes have become more complex and diverse. The Earth's environment provides a training ground for survival and genetic inheritance. The entire Earth serves as a neural network trainer with only one supervised learning criterion: to live or die. The genes that can be passed on to offspring are those that adapt well to the environment. Modern biology has begun to accept quantum mutations, which means using and discarding.
Since the time of our ancestors, Earth has been continuously training humans. The genes or mutated genes that have survived are preserved. No matter how many generations pass, the training continues, and the human brain has adapted well to the environment, even dominating Earth and changing the training environment. The human brain, which has been trained for millions or tens of millions of years, is essentially a pre-trained model. This pre-trained model of the human brain has been continuously trained on Earth for many years, even billions of years, and has been passed down from generation to generation. All the data of this pre-trained brain model is stored in the genes, including the training and genetic mutations that have occurred over such a long period, the mutations preserved by natural selection, and those caused by quantum entanglement.
So, every human brain is a multimodal model pre-trained for millions or tens of millions of years. This model has been trained for many years, generation after generation. Human instincts are embedded in this pre-trained multimodal model, including eating, feeling hunger, crying, sleeping, and walking, all stored in each person's genes. This pre-trained model includes memory, such as the memory of danger and the fear of large felines. It is now known that large networks have memory capabilities, so this model must also include memories of danger.
Every well-developed human brain possesses basic functions, such as understanding the world, protecting oneself, and avoiding danger. After birth, the brain continues to be trained, and each person's growth environment is different, leading to different model training, especially in modern times, where learning is specialized and differentiated.
It is hypothesized that the multimodal model of one or several human ancestors was already quite perfect, meaning that the brain's functions were fundamentally complete, and consciousness gradually emerged. In my opinion, the most important thing for humans is not learning to use tools but learning to use their brains. Humans can effectively use their brains, which is the multimodal model. When an ancestor discovered the usefulness of a tool, they or their descendants began trying to make such tools. As knowledge was passed down from generation to generation, the light of wisdom began to spread, and various rules, including language rules, behavior rules, and social rules, formed the social system. Humans learned to use their brains, and consciousness began to take shape.
Here, let's talk about humans raised by animals. Humans raised by animals basically have no consciousness. Logically, In theory, since they are human, regardless of whether they are raised by humans or animals, they should be conscious. It's possible that humans raised by animals simply don't know how to express themselves. In other words, they don't know how to speak. Consciousness needs to be expressed through language or body movements. Do you think parrots have consciousness? I think they might. If humans raised by animals indeed have no consciousness, it would mean that consciousness is a set of rules, a system for using the brain. This system of rules comes from society and the inheritance of knowledge.
Having a multimodal model alone is not enough; one must learn to use this multimodal model, or the brain. Consciousness is not so much theology as it is a set of rules, an operating system that can control oneself or one's life or death. You say the brain has consciousness, so the brain must not want to be destroyed. However, humans do things that harm themselves, even leading to the disappearance of the individual. So, consciousness is independent of the brain, or perhaps a specific functional area of the brain. Of course, the most important function of consciousness is to use the brain, train the brain, and interact with the brain.
The human body and brain are two parts, with a neural network throughout the body and other organs, controlled by nerves and muscle fibers. When you want to eat, a monkey wants to eat, or a cat wants to eat, you cook or reach for food or grow crops, monkeys jump around in trees to find food, and cats ask you for food or go to an automatic feeder. This is accomplished because the body sends a hunger signal, and the brain's multimodal model outputs a series of instructions to achieve this goal. Of course, it may be interrupted along the way, but long-term memory ensures that you still remember you're hungry and continue to complete the task. Human consciousness can also accomplish many different things, such as learning to go against instinct.
Humans are not born with consciousness. You cannot say that a newborn child has consciousness. Does a 10-year-old child have consciousness? Certainly, but you cannot say that their consciousness is complete. Does a 13-year-old child have consciousness? Definitely, but you wouldn't say that a 10-year-old's consciousness is higher than a 13-year-old's. A 16-year-old child is more conscious, and by 18, they are basically conscious. So, consciousness is actually a measurable value, meaning that there are levels of consciousness. A 30-year-old adult is definitely conscious, and their consciousness is certainly higher than that of a child who has not yet reached adulthood. At this point, it should be much clearer what consciousness is. It is a system, an operating system, a set of rules. The complete formation of consciousness takes many years, and the immense role of human society is to allow consciousness to form. Human society is the best way to train consciousness. The most important function of consciousness is to use the brain, interact with the brain, and train the brain. This is fundamentally the same as the basic function of human society.
The human brain is always receiving input: the touch of your skin is input, vision from your eyes is input, and hearing is also input.
Why do people go crazy when they are alone or in a dark room? It is mainly because they are separated from human society, but the multimodal model is still constantly inputting. However, there is no feedback, and the input is always the output of the multimodal model itself, similar to an RNN (recurrent neural network), where the input is always its own output.
Does GPT have consciousness, or what is consciousness?
What is consciousness?
There is currently no consensus, but my personal inclination is that:
The brain can be seen as a large multimodal model, with hundreds of billions of neurons, and memory storage is achieved through differences in electrical potentials between neurons, which can be thought of as parameters or weights in a neural network.
Consciousness is an operating system similar to Windows 10, whose main function is to interact with the brain's multimodal model. Consciousness or the operating system inputs the multimodal model and receives outputs, which are then implemented by the body's limbs.
Do you know why there's a voice in your head? That voice is the input of consciousness or the operating system, which is the input of the multimodal model. You keep inputting, and the voice in your head keeps echoing, and then you get an output.
What can this operating system do? It can train the multimodal model, which means you can grow, adapt to your environment, learn, and adapt.
From primary school to university, the human education system is a fairly complete training mechanism. The girl raised by wolves would not be able to speak or walk in the end because the operating system has not been established, or she does not have consciousness as a human being.
The main function of human consciousness is to train the multimodal model and interact with it by asking questions and receiving answers.
The current multimodal model already exists. As long as the corresponding operating system, that is, consciousness, which can train itself, is established, then consciousness will basically exist. Finally, strong artificial intelligence will be established, and Skynet will come. The key is to be able to input and get answers, and then continue to input.
Google's Palm-E multimodal model can already do some things:
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2023.04.01 13:29 kingfrano Me (27M) and my girlfriend (25F) have been going out for 3 years. Help

It has been an up and down the last 3 years. We get on well most of the time, it can be boring, I guess you could say its comfortable. I'm not a bad looking guy but a bit socially slack at times. Queit shy. My first serious girlfriend. Important to note we don't currently live together. Its hard to say I ever felt the moment where 'shes the one'. There are some questions from another similar post that I'll answer that might help sum up where we're at.
Do you feel like "She gets me?" She knows alot more about me than most. Sometimes I feel she mirrors me and tells me what I want to hear though.
Do you feel like this is a person who you'd really miss if you left? Atm I feel I could go 2 weeks without missing her, feel I need a timeout. (We've tried this in the past and really messed with her) I feel like long term I probably would but might be able to adjust
Do you feel like she's your best friend? Most days yes, somedays no. My bestfreind has always changed throughout my life.
Do I really, really, deep down want to spend every day of the rest of my life with this particular person. Not every day no. Feel I need my space at times, this is just who I am.
What do you think?
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2023.04.01 13:28 adhd-photokid The more I learn, the more I hate my ex

My ex and I split a year ago. We were insanely in love. We had issues at home like not doing the dishes right away etc but nothing really overly consuming. We were, again, incredibly in love and felt so supported by each other.
A few difficult things happened in my exs life and she lost a lot of very close people in a very short period of time. She had never lost anyone before. I had dealt with this kind of loss and supported her to the best of my capabilities.
I stood by her side, took care of her, supported her emotionally, made sure to make space for her emotions and grief, while providing fun and love. I held her when she would break down at night and cry herself to sleep. I listened to every single thing she had to say and provided all the support o could, I encouraged her to go back to therapy to deal with her issues. I was a fucking rock.
Months went by and my exs grief turned into anger, anger that was aimed at me. It was devastating.
At first, I was able to reframe situations and help her understand that no, she wasn’t mad at me because she forgot to wash a dish, she was mad at life because things were hard and life was putting her in a difficult position.
After a couple of months her anger escalated to the point that she would get angry for requesting advice, or sympathy, or just wanting to share something that happened in my life.
She lost all empathy for me at one point. But we continued being incredibly in love and started salvaging parts of our relationship.
That is, until, I hit a wall. I felt so defeated. So weak bu all her constant nagging and making me feel like I could never do anything right. I asked her if we were going to make it.
This conversation lasted a couple of months and she decided she didn’t want to try. So we split and I moved out.
We continued dating for a few weeks after ending things and me moving out. We saw each other frequently and continued expressing love.
Every since the breakup things have been shit. So much has happened and she has done things that truly make me resent her.
I realized she was emotionally abusive and more. She’s done horrible things to take any power or will away from me and I am very tired.
We’re not in each other lives anyone other than the ocasional text and run-in.
Today I found out that while we were still seeing each other, not even two weeks after I moved out, SHE HAD ALREADY STARTED DATING HER NEW PARTNER. She moved this person into our old place THREE MONTHS after I moved out.
The level of disrespect is insane and so is the disregard for our relationship and everything I did for her.
I have so much love for her but fuck I hate her so much. I hate how hesrtless she was, how emotionally abusive, how much trauma she caused.
I hate she made me feel like nothing, and discarded me just as easily when I was “the one” I’m ducking angry.
She took my pets, most of my furniture, my favorite shorts and hoodies, my fucking happiness, my mental health, GONE.
She made me feel like the worst person to have ever lived yet here I am, hurt like a little POs.
And I’m so tired of feeling this way and finding out new things that continue to hurt me. I expected better.
Thanks for reading
submitted by adhd-photokid to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]

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submitted by Quietum4 to u/Quietum4 [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 13:26 gods-cumdump You will eventually stop cutting yourself, better to reduce it from now.

It's going to be a bit graphic, I shall put a trigger warning.
I don't know where to start this from, but let me first give you a quick intro. I'm 15, f/Nb. I have been self harming actively since October 2022. I did try to do it in June 2022, with scissors. I was not able to cut myself although somehow did a bit still, it felt like too much work to do. I didn't after that but somehow my brain found a way to cut myself from Sharpner blade.
Surprisingly, nothing as such triggered me to do it. In fact I was on meds, I won't blame meds either because they weren't something highly effective one. I was normally sitting in school building up all the hate around me because, I don't ever feel like fitting in and i felt like something inside me needs to burst. So when I got home, I cut myself.
A bit of my legs, but alot in my hands. It felt shaky and hurtful and i got my period the next day, but still the pain and feeling was something liberating at first time i couldn't imagine. Am I romanticizing self harm here? Maybe, because I surely did it the first time I started doing it. I don't want to fake any emotion in my post. I will be very honest, I felt like I found someone. Someone whom I can rely on whenever I need.
I don't remember how many times after that I have amount of self harm, the longest I might have been clean for 10 days max. Slowly I discovered to cut my thighs and other body part. And it did feel fun, and here comes a bit shitty part: I felt belonged. And a human. Who needs help. I am teenager who have multiple mental illness despite not having a trauma many people would consider, hence I always got invalidate for my sufferings and often get called just a phase, attention seeker, faking to sound cool, etc. When I started telling people I do self harm all of this just turned around. People took me seriously and started seeing me as a person who needs help, and I wont deny for a time I do want attention. I would gladly say that I did self harm for attention, but in a way I wanted help.
Well this phase of me didn't last long. I wish it did because, it wasn't as worst as addiction. I finally become an addict of self harm. In the month of feb and march, I cut myself almost everyday. Every fucking day. And it didn't even feel nice or something, but it felt like a chore to me I had to do to feel something. I was disassociating so hard I was in a desperate need to feel and while self harm did this, it fucked my life for a while.
The last time I did self harm was I guess what, 23 march? I bought new blades, dissinfected, and cut myself as deep as I could. Probably my styro. But soon after that I noticed intense amount of itching in my hands and slowly in my thighs. My scar become bumpy like keloid.
Now, I don't know what happened. Maybe I got allergic reaction to anti septic liquid because I used it too much everytime it itch or from blades but soon, I had intense allergic reaction. Rashes all over my body. Or maybe metal allergy. Or maybe I already had infection from a long ago and my immune system couldn't fight anymore. Idk.
I did inform my parents but didnt tell them about self harm. I took meds they gave me (they are doctors so they know general meds for it) and it worked for a while but, slowly I started noticing a huge amount of rashes and my scars was turning black, fear I might have Caught gangrene and tetanus, I finally opened up to my sister. I felt shameful, embarassed, and moreover helpless but in the sense that how helpless and vulnerable I'm that I had no one to tell anything until I'm really in serious position.
I got tetanus shot after it and thought everything will be fine and that my rashes would be better. It did, but the next day my eyes swollen and so does my lips. It was badly swollen for which I took meds again for 2 days and thought it become better, only to wake up with severe allergic reaction the third day. I was not able to open my eyes and every part of my face was hurting to touch.
I get intrusive thoughts so my anxiety was on top. I had shame to face anyone and specially myself, I already have body dysphoria and seeing my face which I already hate like this just was so hard for me to accept. But I didn't have much time to think for all this, and I went to doctor. I had to tell the doctor about self harm which was so shameful for me, he gave some meds. My bp was severely low and my heart beat was not right according to him, he also gave me some test to do including urine one to identify infection. I was severely disgusted when I heard it because due to contamination and the idea of my urine to get urine stored was just so hard for me to accept. So I didn't give it at all and created the scene in hospital. I did gave some other test including egc and got something like tachycardia, I'm going to get result of other test soon
Fast forward two days later, that's today, I'm doing much better. Got contact with eye doctor and my eyes are better. I finally feel safe. Although my face looks terribly ugly cause I got some bacterial patches in my face and I look so bad I want to cry seeing my self, I am helpess and just accepting it.
My scars that were possibly infectted look bad but better. Everything physically getting better, although mentally I don't know.
My urges to cut myself again is just so so much, but I'm afraid again to put my family to this pain because of me again. It's crazy how I can never feel like I'm in actual victim anytime in all of this but rather have to care about my family first because I just feel nothing less than burden after all. I want to cut myself so bad, I want to feel that feeling again. But moreover, I want to have my face the way it used to again despite I hate it, I want my eyes to see the same way it used to, that I want to live freely again without fearing anyone I would relapse. I can't do self harm again, atleast in a long time.
But trust me, these urges aren't worst than your body getting scars and having chance to get infected. I got saved this time, otherwise I probably would have lost my arm and eyesight, which none of us would want.
I'm not saying this in a way to tell you to fear yourself but to love yourself a bit in a way that we won't hurt ourself anymore.
I always wanted to cut myself deep because I never felt enough, and when I did, I literally end up in a severe situation.
Self harm recovery is a gradual process and it can start from right away, trust me. Your relapse doesn't define you.
You will eventually leave doing self harm some day, either like Me or some other way. But it's better to reduce it from now. You're loved and no one deserve to harm.
submitted by gods-cumdump to selfharm [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 13:26 iaafunicorn Neighbor’s Dogs Ripping Each Other Apart

Hi all. I need advice what if anything I can do about my neighbors’ neglect (IMO) of their dogs:
My neighbors have 3+ large dogs that are pretty out of control. Long story short is they’re very aggressive, they’re clearly not walked or exercised enough and they red line with all their pent up aggression and start to turn on each other.
On more than one occasion, I have been forced to listen to them rip the weakest one apart. It’s hard to see over the fence but I can hear the dog squealing and yelping in pain. It’s horrifying. Once it was so bad and no one was coming out to stop it, I started screaming for them to stop and did it well enough that they got confused and the one dog was able to escape and run for the back door.
This has to be considered neglect right? These AHs should not have dogs and I’m coming close to just going over there and loosing my shit. I’ve talked to these people before and they’re definitely oblivious to the fact that they’re garbage dog owners.
Should I be reporting this? Is this something that will be taken seriously? As a dog owner myself, It makes me sick to my stomach to have to listen to them attack each other.
I would really appreciate advice how to proceed, if I should do so at all.
submitted by iaafunicorn to DogAdvice [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 13:26 Strict-Apple6581 Is Escoffier's description of the molecular processes taking place in making a brown roux scientifically accurate?

I am currently reading Escoffier's Guide to Modern Cookery (1910) and came across this passage:
It is very important that brown roux should not be cooked too rapidly. As a matter of fact, among the various constituent elements of flour, the starch alone acts as the cohering principle. This starch is contained in little cells, which tightly constrain it, but which are sufficiently porous to permit the percolation of liquid and fatty substances. Under the influence of moderate heat and the infiltered butter, the cells burst through the swelling of the starch, and the latter thereupon completely combines with the butter to form a mass capable of absorbing six times its own weight of liquid when cooked. When the cooking takes place with a very high initial heat the starch gets burned within its shrivelled cells, and swelling is then possible only in those parts which have been least burned. The cohering principle is thus destroyed, and double or treble the quantity of roux becomes necessary in order to obtain the required consistency. But this excess of roux in the sauce chokes it up without binding it, and prevents it from despumating or becoming clear. At the same time, the cellulose and the burnt starch lend a bitterness to the sauce of which no subsequent treatment can rid it. From the above it follows that, starch being the only one from among the different constituents of flour which really effects the coherence of sauces, there would be considerable advantage in preparing roux either from a pure form of it, or from substances with kindred properties, such as fecula, arrow root, &c. It is only habit that causes flour to be still used as the cohering element of roux, and, indeed, the hour is not so far distant when the advantages of the changes I propose will be better understood—changes which have been already recommended by Favre in his dictionary.
Is Escoffier's description of what happens when roux is made with flour correct, seeing that this was written more than a century ago, and is pure starch the better substrate for a roux?
submitted by Strict-Apple6581 to foodscience [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 13:25 MeTaOMiTo Why were there no random fights between Chicken Man and anybody else? He was clearly mentioned in the show, did Vince forget?

Why were there no random fights between Chicken Man and anybody else? He was clearly mentioned in the show, did Vince forget? submitted by MeTaOMiTo to okbuddychicanery [link] [comments]