For background I have worked for the same company for the last five years. During that time I have been friends with "Jan". Jan would complain about a coworker and boss that were super sexist & harrassing her & other women in the office. I complained about the sexists & the company started looking into them & firing them and taking action.
This was extremely stressful for me because I had all of these legal interviews, & having to continuously report on them. It felt like it gave me a bad reputation. The company actually said the fired guy had been menacing women for years based on their interviews.
As a result a sexist manager was pushed out. Once this happened our HQ told Jan that they were making changes & now she would be doing extra work & working under our Director instead of her old boss. She started acting like she was a Manager & telling me about how I need to respect her the same as a manager. Keep in mind they didn't give her a pay increase or title change. One day I came by & she was excitedly telling me HQ okayed her taking a fancy lamp from the pushed out Manager's office. She kept being more & more snide to me. She told me that I was all wrong & the fired employee wasn't even sexist.
Today she told me I need to only speak to her professionally going forward not personally when I tried asking her how her minor medical procedure went. She also said not to say anything to her I wouldn't say to my Manager at a team meeting. I'm beyond taken a back to she would go this egotistical over these mild ego boosts from Management.

My ex-LL4M-GF left me half a year ago for another man. She was always LL4M, never felt a strong sexual chemistry towards me.
https://www.reddit.com/DeadBedrooms/comments/z2a8wl/dont_ignore_the_signs_and_listen_how_many_cases/
https://www.reddit.com/DeadBedrooms/comments/zlres4/never_ever_enter_a_relationship_when_you_are_not/
We reconnect a few days ago, spend some hours together and talked. She is still together with the man she left me for. I told her I am glad she is happy, which is the truth. Even if she hurt me very much, a part of me still cares for her. I would never want to go back in this relationship to be clear, but I thought it would be better if I look more at the good and not only the bad things.
It was a nice evening, but the day after I felt really bad for the following reasons:
- She always talked about her sexual past with a high energy and enthusiam in our relationship. This was torture for me especially because of our DB situation. At some time she stopped after I got more and more angry if she did it, but the damage was already done. I sometimes dreamed about her casual hookups: https://www.reddit.com/DeadBedrooms/comments/zzei4e/i_think_its_far_worse_to_be_in_a_db_with_a_big/ With the new guy she is dating, from the beginning she never talked about her sexual past. This chapter is closed she told me. I think it is the right thing to do, but I asked myself why I had to go through this hell and he not. It is like I was a only an exercise partner and after me she was ready to act right towards her partner.
- We both know we do not match in the bedroom (she from the beginning and keeping me in the dark, I unfortunatly much later). While we talked, she made a comment that I did not follow her orders to chance a few things in the bedroom and that hurts very much after thinking about it. My affair (started a few weeks after I had my own place again) told me, that when I touch her, it's going under her skin. My ex-LL4M-GF always told me I am not touching her right. For her, to tell me 6 months after she left me the cause of our DB was, that I was not learning and following her orders, is highly manipulative. She was never into me and therefore I couldn't do anything right, while my affair complement me about the same things I did wrong in the eyes of my ex-LL4M-GF. I think it was her fault, she know from the beginning she had no chemistry and hold me in the dark. Our relationship should have ended before it started.
- My affair and I split up after 3 months. It started from the beginning as something casual from both sides. She felt in love with me, but we have different plans about our future (I was transparent from the beginning) and therefore it had to end. My ex-LL4M-GF asked about my dating experienced and I told her. After that she shamed me, I should have known it earlier, that my affair felt in love with me. I should date woman 15 years older that could not have kids anymore if I want something casual. I'm really angry about this presumtion.
At the evening I was really happy for her, but now I think:
- I suffered in this realationship, ruminate sometimes a few hours a day about our DB situation, while she made me jump though hoops.
- She knew from the beginning she had no chemistry, despite it, she made me solely responsible for our DB.
- She thinks I have no right to date woman my age our younger if a want something casual, while she had tons of casual sex.
I feel really bad and think about seeing a therapist to work on it. What do you thing?

Hi.
FTHB last summer. Got 30 year variable closed mortgage with RBC. As all variable rate owners know it's been nothing short of tight.
Yesterday (Wed) read on Reddit RBC was raising rates the next day (i.e. today Thu). I called RBC yesterday to switch to a 5 yr fixed and worked out an early renewal agreement set for Jun 21 (so I have time to put in a lump sum principal payment and lower my monthly mortgage payment based on the outstanding mortgage being lowered by said lump sum payment).
As I reviewed yesterday with the RBC person I realized they had 330 months for Original Amortization (i.e. 27.5 years) instead of 360 months (30 years). I put it aside for the moment cus I needed my early renewal agreement processed that day in order to hold the fixed rate that would increase the next day.
I'm on the phone again with RBC and they see 330 months on their side, but I have the original letter stating 30 years so I'm on hold as they investigate. I have a feeling it was a typo.
Soo... 2 problems. (a) my payments the past year was based on incorrect shorter amortization, what do I do? I'm going to ask for a thorough recalculation and associated principal payments against my interest payments if this was errored. (B) I'm in process of getting the early renewal agreement based on an agreed outstanding mortgage amount set for Jun 21, which would include a lump sum payment withdrawn that day Jun 21 to reach that outstanding mortgage amount... Issue being I have problem (a) compounding the messiness of how much my mortgage should be.
Lol.... Fun being a home owner.... Saved and invested diligently (no help from parents) and here I am..

Asking for help is an essential skill in demanding careers. Avoiding hard conversations with your mentor will stunt your career growth or trap you in an uncomfortable working environment. We are here to help and success in science requires you to tap into your support network. I have been in the lab 12 years; 8 years academia (BS, MS, PhD), 4 years industry, and I feel this skill made the biggest difference in how well people did in grad school and their publications. Yes I have made or seen just about possible mistake a person can make in the lab and I am still here!
TALK TO YOUR MENTOR. You chose to work with them because they are brilliant and can teach you valuable skills. Mentor does not automatically mean PI. If you are new, you are most likely working with a postdoc or graduate student. Start with them then work your way up the ladder when needed. Working with another student is valuable since both of you are learning, and they probably have or will make the same mistakes. If you are new and working by yourself then your PI is negligent.
This is science. Let the data do the talking. If the data are messy then it is telling you something is wrong. At the early stage of your career, those are the kinds of questions you need to answer before you can even start tackling your project. You will need help sooner or later because you do not show up to lab with all the answers. That is the point of research!
Letting Reddit override your advisor is one of a few fatal mistakes you can make. Avoiding your mentor is a sure way to get on their bad side since they are accountable for the project and it makes you look arrogant if you never talk to them about it. Mistakes and embarrassment happen, and often lead to avoidant behavior, which only makes things worse. Mistakes are great learning opportunities, and an integral part of your journey. Other students learning alongside you are a great resource to put your heads together when you get stuck. On the other hand if you encounter a mentor you cannot safely talk to about difficult things then that is a bad fit. Take the L, don't internalize, and try another lab sooner than later.
Like many of you, I grew up in a traumatic household and the lab was my way out. I was very much on my own with no family support and no one told me how to navigate difficult conversations. I know all about the terror of approaching a cranky advisor about something you messed up or don't understand, only to walk away uplifted and confident in my abilities. He already knew and was waiting for me to bring it up to him! The world will not end talking to an authority figure and no one is out to get you. Humility goes a long way and we are all students in science.
Some "primers" for those who need them:
"I am still new. Who would be a good person to help with protein extraction from mouse tissues so I do it correctly and safely?"
"I don't know how to do cell culture. Will one of the grad students train me?"
"I never learned about sequencing. Do you have a protocol or paper I could read about it first?"
"I have all these bands on my western when I used this new antibody. Before I do another repeat, at what step could I have gone wrong?"
"I could use another set of eyes to be sure my primers are correct."
"My qPCR results look strange. Do you think it was a problem with reverse transcription or primers?"
"Is anyone else having issues with the thermal cycler? My genotyping PCR did not amplify, including my positive control."

Hi all - we will soon be bringing home an eight week old puppy. Since we don’t have a backyard fence all potty training will need to be done on leash. Our backyard backs to public accessible open space and a large farm field.
Many of our neighbors walk their dogs off leash In the open space and so, dogs being dogs will at times make their way into our backyard.
I want to avoid our puppy being resentful of being on a leash when these dogs walk by. I want her to focus on the task at hand: going potty! I also don’t want her overwhelmed when we’re in our yard playing. And, I don’t want her to become leash reactive when we’re out walking - again she’ll be on a leash.
My last dog was a nightmare to walk because he reacted negatively to everything. This was my fault so I would like to learn how to lovingly and positively train her on leash.
I know she’ll be much happier than being afraid and feeling threatened by everything. If only I can do the training and communicating correctly from the outset of bringing her home.
What do I do and please be specific.
Thank you all so very much!

Hi everyone! How is it going?
I'm doing many visits, for now I have a strong reflux diagnosed. You? Progress?
Charcoal works? Have you tried using it after meals? Digestive enzymes with herbs (fennel, anise, caraway...) Before meals? High-dose probiotics with prebiotics (FOS, butyric acid) on an empty stomach?

TL;DR: long distance girlfriend got very drunk and acted flirty/touchy feely with people. Shouldn't be a big deal, but because of my past relationship triggered a lot of anxiety. Don't want it to affect me, but it does and I don't know how to proceed.
Brief context- had traumatic, abusive relationship. Involved cheating + degradation. Broke up, had severe anxiety and insecurity issues, but went to therapy and worked through it. ~3 year later, I meet this girl. She is EXACTLY who I needed. Felt like I found a partner, and we compliment each other and grow from each other. Never had a single issue or argument. Just perfection. We're long distance, and have no issues. Anyway, it’s been over a year of an amazing relationship. Present time: I get a call from her a few days ago. She’s visibly upset. Tells me that she just spoke with her best friend, and that he told her that when they had gone out the week before, she got really drunk and was acting in a certain way around other people. Apparently she was too drunk to remember, and I didn't ask the specifics, but she said “If you acted that way I did I probably wouldn’t have been ok with it.” She then went on to apologize a lot, say she couldn’t believe that she could act like that, and that she never even knew she had a side to her that could be like that when she’s drunk. (She’s a professional athlete, so going out/getting drunk is a very rare occasion). She said she didn’t want to act in way that would make me uncomfortable, and felt bad that she would do something like that when our relationship is so good, and that she definitely doesn’t want anything to do with other people. Internally felt bad, but didn't let it on. I told her that people can get flirty/touchy-feely when their drunk and that if she crossed a bit of a line, while I wasn’t happy, I understood it as a mistake. Explained that I didn't think it was a big deal. I also know what it’s like to be super drunk and wake up next day to stuff you regret, and how icky that feels. So I sort of tried to dismiss it and not make a big deal of it. Unfortunately, it triggered SO much anxiety. I had another conversation with her the next day, and sort of just explained that it made me anxious but that I trust her and that it’s ok, but not to do something like that again. Since then, everything’s been “normal.” Or at least it has for her, but I’ve been fighting off serious serious anxiety. I just don’t know what to do about it. Any opinions on how I should proceed? I know that what she did wasn’t a big deal. Probably just got super touchy with someone and danced a little too close. I didn’t ask, so I’m just playing benefit of the doubt. I OBJECTIVELY know it shouldn’t be a big deal, especially for someone who is inexperienced and stuff. A one time mistake is fine. But god is it fucking with my head. It reopened all the anxieties and personal insecurity from my last relationship, and its been three days of hell for me. I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do. Or what's appropriate. If the ways I've been feeling are an overreaction, etc. (Feel free to ask any context questions if you want because I tried to be brief. Thanks.)

Owned a 2011 Mazda3 for years, time for something new. Looked at a few other things (CRV, Rav4, but Zoom Zoom has my heart). Last time I bought a car they were begging people to buy and had 0% interest rates, and tons of dealer rebates, doesn't seem to be the case now.
My question is, how close/under MSRP were any of you that recently bought a CX5 and is there anything to look for that they might be sneaky with? I plan on going to 2-3 dealers, and credit is excellent so not worried about financing, but just wondering if anyone would share any insight. (I'm not gonna let the finance guy add a bunch of stuff on, I know what's not worth it).
And finally, anything that really sold you on one package vs the other. Or anything to take a look at (seems like paint is a little thin on some of these models?). And anyone do the PPF after they bought it (didn't seem to be a thing back then, but seems super smart to get it now).
I appreciate it, if anyone gets a chance to see this and can offer any insight. Thank you! Zoom Zoom.

June marks the beginning of registration appointments for first-year students, so it's time for some of you to start thinking about building schedules. To help you do that, I have compiled some resources and observations about the entire registration process both for first-years and future semesters below. I hope they inform and facilitate your academic planning, schedule building, and class enrollment decisions and processes.

Online resources

• Atlas: See descriptions, sections, instructor ratings, grade distributions, grade level distributions, major distributions, and various other metrics for each course. Provides a schedule builder that generates feasible schedules for a given set of courses.
• LSA Course Guide: For classes accessible to LSA students. More sophisticated search functionality than Atlas that integrates LSA distribution categories like HU and NS. Shows prerequisites, instructors, sections, textbooks if applicable, and past syllabi if available.
• Wolverine Access: I'd recommend that you only use this for backpacking and registration. There isn't a great reason to use Wolverine Access over the LSA Course Guide or Atlas to discover and examine courses.
• Crappy Scheduler: A currently little-known course lookup and schedule building website maintained by an EECS professor. It enables you to look up courses by code or title. Most interestingly, it enables you to see past offerings of a given course, which helps you assess the full set of potential instructors for a given course (beyond a particular term) and find the best ones among them. A neat Enrollment History graph for each course shows the growth or decline of a course's capacity over time as well as whether it is offered in both Winter and Fall. Special shoutout to the EECS Enrollment page, which has tracked the enrollment trends of EECS courses for nearly 5 years.
• Coursicle: A nationwide platform for building university schedules that supports U-M. You can filter for courses according to the times of their sections (for example, limiting the search to 2pm to 4pm on Mondays). You can compose schedules by adding sections, much like Atlas. Most importantly, you can use Coursicle's mobile app to set up notifications for when a class's enrollment status (Open, Wait List, Closed) changes.
• CourseKit Predictor and Optimizer: A growing platform that tries to streamline the entire course registration process, starting at Michigan. Right now, its optimizer can automatically evaluate and rank all your possible schedules according to your preferences. Its predictor uses its collected enrollment trends to predict the number of seats open for any course on your registration date.

The Registration Process

Every semester, the registration process for the following enrolled semester takes place in three rough phases: picking courses, building schedules, and enrolling in classes.

Picking Courses

Common factors to consider when picking courses include:

• Core requirements of your school (like distribution requirements for LSA and math/physics/chemistry for CoE)
• Core requirements of your potential degree programs (majors, minors, honors) and how they relate in terms of prerequisites
• Personal interests outside of your degree programs for electives. Bonus points if they count toward intellectual breadth for your degree programs. Looking for fun electives? Since you're on Reddit, I recommend Digital Studies electives.
• Enrollment pressure. During each registration season, current students are assigned registration appointment dates based on their CTP (credit toward program), ignoring AP and IB credit, where those with more CTP register before those with less CTP; as a result, junior-standing students register before freshman-standing students. See Fall 2023's example. Because of this arrangement, many courses get filled up by students with more CTP than you to the extent that when your appointment date arrives, they are already full and have a substantial wait list. In that case, your odds of getting into the course tend to be small. This is also true of first-semester registration, so pay attention to the enrollment status of courses you might want to take in your first semester but are mostly taken by upperclasspeople. Check Atlas to confirm that.
  • Enrollment pressure should inform your course selection decisions. For example, if you want to take a high-enrollment-pressure course like GERMAN 386 early on, you should expect to get waitlisted and develop alternative course combinations in case you never get into that course.
  • Check the academic standing distributions on Atlas and whether each section is full to estimate enrollment pressure. You can also use CourseKit Predictor to predict the number of seats open when you register. This uses previous years' enrollment trends to predict future trends.
  • If you are following your major's course sequence at a typical pace (which is indicated by any sample schedules you see), you shouldn't need to worry too much about your major's classes running out of space. However, if you are significantly ahead of this pace, then it might be difficult to get into the classes you want. I am personally ahead of the typical pace as a CS major, eligible for nearly all ULCS classes at the end of my first year. I could not get into the ULCS classes I wanted for the beginning of my second year, and I mostly could for my third year.
• Schedule fit, especially for small classes. Because of the fixed nature of the Schedule of Classes (the times and days of all the sections), some course combinations yield pretty bad schedules in specific semesters. For example, a class might only have 8am lecture sections in Fall 2023 but, according to history, might have lectures at a later time in Winter 2024. Therefore, the relationship between picking courses and building schedules constitutes a feedback loop. Here, you would come up with multiple potential courses, check the optimal quality of schedules involving combinations of the potential courses with something like CourseKit Optimizer, and pick the combination with the best schedule quality. If you're in a department as small as NERS (Nuclear), you might be able to ask your advisor to change a class's scheduled time. This has happened before.

Note for CS students (and probably many other majors): Some core courses are not consistently taught by the same faculty team every semester. For example, some core course might be taught by professors A through F, where A is the best and B is the second best, etc. Suppose that professors C, D, and F are teaching in Fall 2023. If you don't need to complete the course urgently as a prerequisite for other degree requirements, and if the best professors have taught in recent semesters, then you can wait to enroll in a future semester where professors A or B teach that course. This is especially applicable to EECS 370.

Building schedules

Start with combinations of courses from the previous step. Here are two typical combinations for first-year CS students in CoE:

• ENGR 101, ENGR 100, CHEM 130, ECON 101
• EECS 203, EECS 280, PHYSICS 240, PHIL 183

Use tools to see your schedule options for each combination. Officials will tell you to use Atlas's Schedule Builder, but it's quite limited: It only generates up to 1000 schedules out of millions of potential schedules with your course combinations, it leaves you with hundreds of schedules to evaluate by yourself, and it's pretty slow. Instead, you can try CourseKit's schedule optimizer, which fixes all these problems by searching for all possible schedules and ranking them according to your preferences. This reduces the time you spend building schedules, enables you to evaluate the optimal schedule quality of a course combination, and gives you confidence that your schedule cannot possibly be any better. (Full disclosure: I wrote CourseKit's optimizer, so direct all feedback to me.) Take a few schedules for each course combination as candidates for enrollment.
Now that you roughly know the best possible quality of schedules for each course combination, you can choose whether to return to the previous step to generate more course combinations, evaluate their optimal schedule quality, and so on.

Enrolling in classes

This is where backpacking comes into play, but first, it's important to recognize that the schedule you will actually follow every day is decoupled from the schedule you enroll in on Wolverine Access, depending on your freedom to attend any lecture or discussion or lab in each course. If a schedule you want to follow has some closed or wait listed sections on your registration date, you can replace each of them with another section of the same type and course if and only if that class does not take attendance. Here are a few classes that, to my knowledge, do not take attendance:

• Most lectures with more than 50 people
• EECS 203 discussion
• EECS 281 lab
• ROB 101 lab
• EECS 376 discussion
• EECS 445 discussion

Therefore, if your favorite section of one of these classes is closed, feel free to enroll in a different section and keep going to your favorite section. For others, it's best to check with someone who has taken the course.
Once your schedule for enrollment is ready, you can add it to your Backpack. Think of your Backpack as a staging area for the list of classes you will eventually enroll in. You can edit your Backpack by adding and removing specific classes before your enrollment date, and you gain the ability to enroll in the list of classes in your Backpack on your enrollment date. If you built your schedule on Atlas, you can send the entire schedule to Wolverine Access via the "Send to Backpack" button. If you built your schedule on CourseKit, click the "Enroll" button to get a list of class codes to manually put into your Backpack. On your registration date, you will be able to enroll in the list of classes in your Backpack.

After Registration

Both before and after your enrollment, you may need to monitor the enrollment status of classes you are interested in. For example, you might opt for one of your worse schedules because of a closed section in your best schedule, in which case you'd want to switch to that best schedule as soon as the closed section opens up again. You can use Coursicle's mobile app to sign up for notifications when the enrollment status of those classes changes (between Open, Wait List, and Closed) and act immediately when it changes.
Occasionally, when you can't get into a desired class, you can rely on it to open up after the first day of class. CourseKit Predictor has recorded the drop rates of nearly all undergraduate classes in the beginning of Fall 2022, and they are visible in its predictions. If you decide to rely on a class opening up, I'd recommend that you sign up for status change notifications via Coursicle and remember to attend that class from the first day so that you're not in a rush to catch up near the add/drop deadline. Sometimes, you can talk to the instructor after the first session to try to get into the class.
Note for MATH 115 and MATH 116: The math department controls enrollment in MATH 115 and MATH 116 by introducing artificial scarcity. They open up seats gradually throughout the summer to make enrollment opportunities more equitable between earlier and later registration appointments (see figure below). However, you can circumvent this by using Coursicle's notification service. If you want to get into a particular section, have it notify you as soon as the department opens up more seats for that section so that you can switch to it before the next registration appointments fill them up. Unfortunately, this is a zero-sum game: you snatching the section you want prevents another first-year student from getting into it. You might not find this ethical.
Evidence for artificial scarcity in MATH 115 and MATH 116 capacities
This graph also presents convincing evidence that for many courses, earlier registration dates are more advantageous than later ones. Here, section 1 becomes permanently ineligible for enrollment by the middle of July, so those who enroll after that lose this option.
I understand that this post may be made the registration process you are aware of even more complicated! Questions are welcome here or in my DMs. Good luck with your registration!

Thank you everyone for all of the amazing advice that I've gotten so far, I was hoping that I could get some feedback on my itinerary (trip is coming up in just over three weeks!!!) I tried to not fit too much into each day (based on everyone's suggestions) and I think I may have a good idea of what to do...would love to know what you all think though!!! I'm traveling solo so I can easily adjust my plans :) I also was able to go up the Eiffel Tower and spend time in the Louvre the last time I was in Paris (back in 2005) so while I love those two experiences I think I can skip spending any time in/on them. Also, I do not drink alcohol so any suggestions on places with good mocktails would be fantastic!
Saturday

• Arrive at 8am at CDG, take taxi to the Latin Quarter and drop off my bags
• Take the Big Bus Tour and depending on how I'm feeling spend more time on the bus just take everything in, or walk around at the different stops more
• St. Chappelle at 4:30pm
• Dinner at Le Precope at 7pm

Sunday

• Musee D'Orsay at 9:30am
• Lunch - potentially at Cafe Nano
• Musee Rodin
• Seine River Dinner Cruise at 7pm

Monday

• Latin Quarter Bike Tour 10am-2pm
• Wander, maybe hang out in the Luxembourg Gardens
• Dinner with a Parisienne friend - her choice!

Tuesday

• Versailles Bike Tour (bluefox travel)
• Maye Le Jacobine for dinner? Playing this by ear as I don't know when I'll be getting back

Wednesday-Monday spent in Alsace
Monday

• Arrive back in Paris around 8:30am
• Drop bags at hotel near the Eiffel Tower
• Spend day wandering Montmartre/Sacre Coeur
• Opera Garnier late tour at 5pm
• Gallerie Lafayette for sunset?

No matter HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES I block and report this stupid ass account, I am still flooded with these rage-making ads every fucking time I'm on Reddit.
Fuck that shit.
Maybe I'm NOT christian.
Maybe I'm not religious.
Or maybe, I grew up in the stupidly cultist southern Baptist culture AND THIS SHIT TRIGGERS MY FUCKING PTSD TO NO END.
I'm totally atheist. I think it is dumb as fuck to believe in a magical sky daddy who "guides" us/ "solves our problems"/ etc etc etc.
But if someone else DOES believe, OK. That is your right, and none of us can definitively prove if a "god" does or does not exist. And if believing in a "higher power" helps you be a better person, or even just to manage this shit ass existence none of us asked for, then fine. I'm not trying to "create more atheists" or whatever. I would never declare myself as some arbiter who knows how people should live and die,and/or how their moral compass should be adjusted. As long as they aren't hurting me or anyone else (which pushing beliefs onto others is, imo, a form of harming), then I say to each his own.
BUT.
Declaring themselves arbiters of other peoples' life/death/moral compass is about all Christians seem to fucking focus on. And I cannot fucking stand it.
And to my point, the reason for this rant, is that these stupid ass ads are a form of harm. I DO 👏 NOT 👏 WANT TO 👏 HAVE A FUCKING PANIC ATTACK 👏 EVERY TIME I GO ON REDDIT BC I SEE THESE FUCKING ADS AND AM IMMEDIATELY MENTALLY FLASHED BACK TO BEING MADE TO HANDLE POISONOUS SNAKES IN CHURCH, OR TO BEING MOLESTED WHEN I WAS 11 AT A CHURCH EVENT, OR ~ANY~ OF THE OTHER GODDAMN MEMORIES I HAVE OF THAT TIME.
I am not shoving my beliefs down other peoples' throats. SO STOP 👏 FUCKING 👏 DOING IT 👏 TO ME!!! 👏 👏 👏
I DONT WANT TO SEE MISLEADING STUPID ASS ADS ABOUT HOW "hE gEtS uS" or jEsuS iS tHe OnLy wAy" or FUCKING ESPECIALLY"jEsUs ChAmPiOnEd wOmEn"!!!!!
Fuck outta here with this shit, reddit. Quit fucking up my - and Im sure many other peoples'- mental health for the few dollars I'm sure some smug church is paying you to flood us with these goddamn ads.

How do you stabilize your hips. I am newly diagnosed and don’t start physical therapy for two more weeks. Within the last week walking seems very difficult. I am a healthy 39 year old woman for the most part and this seems super concerning to me. I have two vacations coming up that involve a lot of walking and my knees and hips seem as though they are not working properly. My knees feel like jello but are not swollen and my hips hurt it feels like my femur might pop right out with every step I take. Please help.

Trigger warning: animal death
I think I just need support or to talk about it. I'm sorry it's such a sad topic, and I'm writing this little intro to hopefully protect anyone who doesn't want to be triggered by what I've been dealing with. So if you don't want to cry with me, please read something else. I won't be offended.
I've seen 2 dead kittens in 1 week. The first kitten I watched get run over. It was horrific. Little black furry paws were in my rear view mirror as the little thing ran onto the road. And the car behind me didn't even slow down or swerve. The kitten could have only been 5 or 6 weeks old. I had to drive by it's poor little body for days before it was picked up. I still can't turn that corner without panicking that another kitten will be in my rear view mirror.
And then again today I spotted another kitten, in the middle lane of a different road. I was hoping against all hope that maybe that little one was just injured and I could get it to a hospital, but it was so much worse than I thought initially. Red everywhere. I got home, nauseous, and cried.
I can't stop thinking about them. They were babies. Little, tiny babies. I don't want to drive. I want to catch the local strays and take them all in so none get runover. (I know I can't, and I won't, but my emotions are running high right now). I can't focus on much of anything.
And I feel so much shame over being upset. As a kid, I got upset about an animal passing, and I can still hear my "friend" asking me what the matter is with me because it was just an animal. My dad shares the same mentality. I'm considered weak because I grieve animals. I didn't even know these kittens and I'm bawling. I feel so much empathy for those little fur balls. They deserved so much better than they got.
I just want to be normal and be able to function like normal people. But two dead kittens I didn't even know literally derailed my whole day and has got me in stuck mode. So many feelings. So much overwhelm. My therapist knows about the first kitten, but the second happened today so I haven't had the chance to talk to her, but I promise it's on the list. At the top of it, really.
I don't know what I need to get through this, so I'll gladly take anything from an upvote to advice to empathy or whatever anyone thinks could be impactful. How do I make my brain stop flooding me with these images?

Hello everyone,
I'm new to this sub and am currently trying to query my first novel. I would appreciate any feedback!
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Dear ___,
The Omnia is a character-driven fantasy epic, adopting many traditional story tropes and sending them through several twists and turns as the characters develop. Complete at 135,000 words, the story takes place in the world of Draconia, a high fantasy setting in a transitional period between traditional medieval and industrial steampunk technology. I believe this story would be enjoyed by readers of Brandon Sanderson’s The Stormlight Archive and Patrick Rothfuss’s Kingkiller Chronicle series.
Lucian Eloi, along with his four childhood friends, planned for years to abandon their dead-end, isolated town to explore the world. One morning, during the town's annual tourney, they are visited by the Sanctus, the World Government, possessing the divine power to control the will of dragons. After a brutal attack, burning the town to ash with their friends and families slaughtered, Lucian and his friends are forced to flee. Soon after, they discover their dream would go unfulfilled. There was nothing left of the world to see. The Sanctus had already ravaged all of Draconia, leaving it little more than a wasteland.
Driven by hopeless vengeance, the group soon somehow manages to find themselves a thousand years in the past, a time when the Sanctus existed, but had yet to succumb to corruption. Determined to destroy the Sanctus before it enacts its destruction, the friends set out on a journey across the world to build a global army in hopes of fixing their broken future, unaware that their actions may have created a far more dangerous threat.
The Omnia is the first in a series of an estimated eight novels. The second novel has already been completed, and I have begun work on the third.
I sincerely hope you too enjoy what I have written, and look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
(Name)
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First 300 words:
(The wind stopped as a black shadow overtook the sun. The busy city fell silent as every citizen raised their head to the sky. For an everlasting moment, not a soul uttered a whisper, but the same disquieting thought infested every one of their minds. Those… things were coming.
“Tristan,” murmured a trembling young girl of six, clutching her older brother’s wrist.
Tristan wanted to calm his sister, but he couldn’t pull a word past his chest. He could only stare. The bronze and steel towers that pierced the skyscape, standing as a shining monument to the city of Decora’s progress, no longer exuded any sense of majesty. That dark shape overshadowed all else, blanketing the metropolis in a still deepening darkness.
How could this happen now? he wondered. They only ever came out at night. It was still mid-afternoon. Mere minutes ago his mother had sent him and his sister to the market. At the age of ten, he was certain he could protect her, but never had he anticipated…
The instant Tristan found his voice, so it seemed did the rest of the city. Before he could get a word out, the street erupted in screams. Townsfolk hurried off in every direction, forcing their way past as the grip on Tristan’s arm tightened. “Run, Judith!” he shouted, turning and taking off, pulling his sister behind him.
Tristan made for the nearest door. Pounding at the front steps of the building, he cried and begged for anyone to let them in. No one answered. Instead, someone from inside appeared at the windows, only to cover them with wooden boards. Cursing, Tristan headed to the next door, but fared no better. After several failed attempts, he accepted no one would shelter them. They would need to flee straight back home.)
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Any feedback would be appreciated! I understand 135k words is generally considered too long for a new author, but I've cut it down about as much as I can unless I split the book in half, which I can do if you all think that would be the best course of action. Thanks again!

I’m going into my sophomore year of college and didn’t audition last year because I’m sent sure if it was something I wanted to do, but now I’m willing to commit. I was just wondering how I can get involved in any way and sign up for auditions and stuff. I’m on phantom regiments email list because I have a couple friends in that corp already but other than that I don’t really know what to do. One of my friends is the euph soloist from last year and he got scouted from UofSC so he didn’t audition. But yeah I was just wondering how to get started.

Short story, I'm 26 w PCOS and my period seems never ending. I believe I'm going on 5-6 weeks now, maybe longer. This isn't new to me but there's less spotting than usual and more BLEEDING. Because of my own ignorance and the way the American health care system is set up, I won't have insurance until OctobeNovember. Insurance didn't solve all my problems in the past but i think I was finally getting some answers.
If you were me, what would you be doing right now (besides kicking yourself) to help your physical and mental situation? What have you learned from your past experiences? How have you changed your diet in ways that helped you symptoms of PCO and anemia?
Currently in inventory:

• Cognizant of PCO and history of period related anemia -"Gentle" Iron Glycinate 28mg w/ B12 & Vitamin C. Taking when I feel weak or extremely tired.
• A 2 months expired, 3 month supply of Blistovi 24 FE. (I was prescribed this without much info at my last gyno appt. in 22/early 23? and I was terrified of the possible negative effects so I never took it...)
• No red meats in diet rn mostly chicken or turkey and some fish, trying to get greens in at every meal. Generally trying to improve eating habits. -Sweet tooth: I've tried to pay more attention to what carbs I'm picking recently. I know I've had a habit of chasing sugar but I'm aware and actively working to chill out on the sweets
• Tranexamic acid: I've taken this in the past and it stopped the bleeding for the 5 days I took it. The bottle said not to take for more than 5 and my period came right back after.

I don't have all the answers. Please don't be mean, clearly I could use some advice.

Hey everyone! I managed to finally do what I planned and alternate fics with each chapter xD. I don't know what it is, but I get hyper focused here and there and then I can get such writer's block with certain things while writing but then get in a zone after managing to get past certain sections. Anyway, this is the second of three planned Linked Souls Day chapters, the next one being the last and from there just hopefully one more chapter that serves as a prelude and transition into the canon events. But don't quote me fully on this as it MIGHT turn into two chapters depending on if I can fit everything in it. But I'm excited to get into the canon material as I've had plans for it since 2020 xD. Anyway, I'm going to likely swap back to my Helluva Boss fic to do a chapter than swap back to this as I want to try to prevent any burn out. Fair warning, I might get a lil hyper focused on the HB fic, but I will do my best to keep a good balance and get back to this as soon as possible.
As I've said before both of these fics are passion projects that I intend to finish no matter how long it takes as I love writing in both worlds. Also, I'm still sticking to this being set pretty much in Japan given everything in canon and sticking to those sensibilities and laws while not neglecting my own western ones and other westerners. I know I've put the disclaimer bout the Nazomi and Sebastian relationship on every prior chapter focusing on then, I just want to make it clear each time this is being handled with care and the maturity it demands. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy and I might get the next chapter out maybe early next month or near the end of this one depending on how things go, but I WILL get it out.
Also, curious what everyone thinks about my introduction of a Valentines equivalent.
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After Shinoku and Vega left to meet up with Anya and Sheila, Sebastian took the time to finish getting ready for when he’d meet up with Nazomi. Just like his friends, Sebastian took his time to make sure that he looked good enough for their rendezvous, putting on some clothes he had that looked very similar to the Cherryton uniform aside from differing colors and other minor things. Also like Shinoku and Vega, he had gotten Nazomi a gift as well. After making sure he was good and ready for his meet up with Nazomi, Sebastian went back to reading to pass the time till he needed to head down the hill to meet up with her. As he waited, Sebastian heard his phone ring, quickly going to see who it was and answering it when he saw it was his mother.
“Hello Sebastian.” His mother said as he answered the phone. “I hope you’re well.”
“Hi mom.” he replied. “Yeah, I’m doing well.”
“That’s good to hear. How are your grades, I trust you’re keeping them high like you always do.” His mother inquired.
“I am.”
“That’s good to hear, you always do your best. Though, I’m not sure why you don’t do cram school like your brother did and your sister is doing. It’s nice that you work hard, don’t get me wrong, but I just want to make sure you’re living up to your full potential.” She said, her tone carrying that always subtle pressure of a proud lioness with high expectations.
And there it was; while she did care for him like any lion mother, she always wanted him to live up to the standards and the image of what a lion should be. Not that she was any different from any other lioness towards her kids, they all knew they had to make sure that the reputation of the king of beasts was maintained. It was an ever present driving force for lions; to stand apart, set the example, excel and push yourself to ever higher points and positions. It was both the greatest driving factor, and the most dangerous threat to a lion. While most would manage to get by and repress the toll it took or even thrive; for others, it would be far too much pressure. It was what lead to so many lions to go to the back alley, to form the likes of the shishigumi or join it.
Sebastian took a moment, the pressure of his mother’s expectations briefly showing before he quickly composed himself. “I understand mom, don’t worry, I have everything planned out.” he assured her. “I’m just tackling things in a way that allows me to give my full attention to my grades here. It’s not that I’m not interested in cram school, I just think it’s more logical to not have my focus split too much.”
“Always the analytical one my little Seby.” his mother commented. “But you only focus on your schoolwork and your reading, even your brother managed to handle doing cram school AND being on his school’s baseball team. He always did so well, even as a cub. Your sister’s also excelling in her gymnastics.” She added. His mother never overtly sounded disappointed, but the subtle nudges and constant reminding of his siblings’ achievements spoke volumes of her wanting him to be like them and every other lion. Why couldn’t she just understand that while he had the potential like every other lion, he just didn’t have the interest? Wasn’t it enough that they were bringing home trophies to show off?
Sebastian let the pressure he felt slip slightly once more before regaining his composure again. “That’s good to hear they’re doing so well…” he said in a cheerful voice. “You don’t need to worry though mom, I’ll make sure I get into a good college, plus all my teachers like me. Getting a recommendation good enough to be accepted won’t be hard to get.”
“True, your teachers always liked you.” His mother said. “But it’s just so rare for a lion not to do cram school. At least, in terms of the ones wanting to make a good life for themselves.” she commented in a veiled implication that a lot of the lions who chose not to were always trouble makers and bad seeds.
“I know mom.” Sebastian replied. “But I do have a career path set and I’m not going to stray from it.”
“And given the way you study and your grades I have no doubt. I can’t wait to hear what prestigious college you become the head over. But you might decide to be something equally important to society.” his mother commented. He never dared once to say he wanted to just teach, he didn’t even care where. All he ever said when what he wanted to be came up was something potentially in education and just smile and nod when his mother would suggest stuff. “By the way, have you found a nice lioness yet?”
“No, not yet mom.” Sebastian replied. He didn’t even dare to think about giving her a hint that he had found someone, knowing full well the questions that ensue about her and wanting to see a picture of or talk to her.
“That’s a shame, I hate to hear that you’re alone on Linked Souls Day. Are you looking?” his mother asked.
“Yes mom, I am.” Sebastian lied. “I’ll find someone, it just takes time for some.”
“But you’re so handsome, are you sure you’re looking or giving good impressions?”
“I am…” Sebastian replied as he held back a sigh.
“Alright. But just know that I have a few friends with very nice daughters, I could always introduce you to.”
Sebastian pinched his brow. “Thanks...but I’m sure I’ll find someone soon.”
“OK, just don’t get so caught up in your studies that you forget.” his mother commented. “Anyway, I need to get going, your father’s going to be taking me out for a romantic date. He says hi by the way.”
“I won’t.” Sebastian said as he composed himself once more. “And that sounds nice, tell him I say hello.”
“Sure. And Sebastian, keep working hard and making us proud.” his mother said before hanging up.
Sebastian let out a sigh as he hung up his phone, putting it back in his pocket. As he did so, Hassan looked at him. “I get the whole familial pressure, it’s not fun. I can only imagine what it’s like with being a lion.”
“She means well…” Sebastian replied.
“Clearly given the expressions you let slip.” Hassan pointed out. “I’m not trying to say your mother’s horrible, but her intentions aren’t exactly selfless.”
“It’s just how it is for us lions.”
“Well if you ask me it’s a bunch of bullshit.” Jax commented.
Hassan just shrugged. “Like Sebastian said, it’s just what it is. All we can do is just not let it get to us and forge our own paths the best we can when it comes to expectations.”
“Anyway, I better start heading out, it’s getting close to time for me to meet up with miss Nazomi.” Sebastian said as he stood up, walking over to get the flowers and gift for Nazomi.
“Sure you don’t need any help?” Hassan asked.
“I’ll be fine.”
Hassan nodded. “Alright.”
“Keep living the dream dude, maybe you’ll get to spend the night with her.” Jax said with a wide grin.
Sebastian just rolled his eyes at Jax before walking out to meet up with Nazomi, not even wanting to respond to the comment. As he headed down to the main floor of the dorm, Sebastian felt a combination of excitement and nervousness. It was his first time celebrating Linked Souls Day with anyone, not that he was ever really bothered about not being able to do so in the past. Sebastian also felt a bit guilty due to the fact that because he was a student and Nazomi a teacher, he couldn’t really do anything publicly with her let alone the fact that she was preparing the meal for them to eat.
Deep down he was a romantic at heart, much maligning the fact that he couldn’t be the one to treat her to a cooked meal. It didn’t really feel right that on Linked Souls Day she was doing most the work. It was just something that he would make sure to do in the future if things got that far with them. Although he still worried about being the potential cause of her losing her job. That, and exactly when and how he was going to introduce her to his parents when he was no longer a student. Hopefully he’d have it figured out when the time came.
Sebastian let out a sigh as he exited the boy’s dorm. Despite all the worries, he still deep down found himself hoping that this would work out. Even with the returning thought of this being just a potential rebellion against his parents and their expectations, he could not deny how he felt about the older feline. Especially with their first date still ever present in his mind. No matter what challenges or obstacles they might face, he was willing to face them, his resolve hardening all the more. Even if it ended up with them having to end things before something bad happened, he’d rather live knowing he tried his best than giving into the fear and not trying to fight for his own happiness.
It didn’t take long for Sebastian to leave the school and get down the hill to where Nazomi said she would be waiting for him, and as he got to their rendezvous spot he stopped. His eyes widened as he felt his heart about to beat out of his chest. Before him stood Nazomi next to her car, dressed in a rather nice satin button down green blouse and black business skirt with a slit on the left side that fit her perfectly. She looked beautiful, so much so that Sebastian felt his cheeks were on fire and his heart was about toleap out of his chest as he blushed, unable to really say anything for a few moments.
“W-wow…” he managed to say as he managed to walk over to Nazomi. “You look...amazing.”
Nazomi smiled a bit. “Thank you, I did try.” she said as she blushed ever so slightly. “I would have worn a dress, but I didn’t want to arouse any real suspicion…”
“It’s fine, there’s not a time I’ve seen you where you didn’t look beautiful.” Sebastian said as he continued to blush, rubbing the back of his head as he did so.
Nazomi blushed more. “You look quite handsome yourself, and just as professional as I do.” she commented. “At least it won’t look too suspicious...I hope.”
“I’m sure it won’t.” Sebastian commented before blinking. “Oh, right, I got you these.” Sebastian added as he handed her the bouquet.
“Awe, thank you love.” Nazomi almost cooed as she took the flowers. “They’re beautiful, I can’t remember the last time I got flowers...Thank you.”
Sebastian smiled as he then handed her a smallish wrapped box. “I also got you this.”
Nazomi blinked as she took the gift, opening it to see it was a bottle of perfume. Taking it out of the box she gave it a sniff. “It smells wonderful, I can’t imagine how much this was…”
“It’s nothing, I saw it one day and thought it’d suit you. So I saved up to make sure I could get you it for today.”
Nazomi smiled, tail flicking as a purr emitted from her throat. “You really are too sweet.” she said as she moved to put the gifts up and then hugged Sebastian. “Again, thanks.” she added as she gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Shall we?”
“Yes.” Sebastian replied, giving Nazomi a nuzzle.
The two got in Nazomi’s car, Sebastian first asking if he should maybe hide out of site like in the trunk only for Nazomi to insist that he sit in the passenger seat. Despite his concerns she said if anyone asked, she was just helping him get to Linked Souls Day meet up. Which, in the most technical sense was not a lie. Sebastian nodded, getting in the passenger seat before Nazomi started her car up and drove.
As They drove through the city to Nazomi’s house something hit Sebastian that he could not believe he didn’t think about even when he had first seen the female cat. “Hey, Mrs. Nazomi?” he asked as he looked at her.
“Yes love?” she asked.
“I just realized...you’re a bit tall for an oriental shorthair. It’s something I should have realized sooner, are you…”
“A mixed species?” Nazomi finished asking for him with a slight smile. “Most don’t really take note until they hit their growth spurts and outgrow me by whatever their heights usually are depending on species. But yes, I am.” she answered. “I’m one third panther on my mother’s side.”
Sebastian blinked, that would explain why she was a bit more ebony in her fur color and why she was taller than the typical shorthair. In fact, her coming up to just under the mid point of his chest hadn’t come off as odd until he thought about it. With some growth still to come, odds are she’d likely be at his gut or just over his waist by the time he finished growing. Not that it was really a problem or he minded, it was just an observation he made.
His eyes glanced over at the scenery as they drove, taking in the buildings and noting that they were sticking to a fairly nice part of town. He then glanced over at Nazomi, taking in how beautiful she looked with a blush, she really was quite something. Sebastian found himself moving his hand closer to hers when they stopped at a red light. Nazomi smiled as she noticed, her hand moving towards his as they held hands for a moment before the light turned green. It did become a thing though with each stop they had to make, both of them enjoying the sign of affection.
It didn’t take too long until they had entered in a rather nice looking neighborhood, about the kind Sebastian assumed Nazomi might live in. It was nice and modest and the house that Nazomi pulled in to was just as nice looking. Thankfully, most of her neighbors were either out celebrating the holiday or doing so in their homes.“Here we are.” Nazomi said warmly.
“It’s a nice looking home.” Sebastian said as the two got out.
“Thanks. It’s really nothing all that special, but it’s nice and cozy and it’s really all I need.” Nazomi replied as she got the gifts Sebastian had gotten before heading to the door with the lion, both their tails flicking and even entwining a bit as they approached it. When they got to the door Nazomi fumbled a bit as she got her keys to unlock it.
“Allow me.” Sebastian offered as he helped her unlock the door, opening it for her.
“Thank you.” Nazomi smiled as she took a quick look around before pecking his cheek. “I’ll put these up while you make yourself at home. I haven’t quite started what I was going to fix, so it will be a bit longer before we eat.”
“You haven’t?” Sebastian inquired. “Then mind if I help? I feel bad that you’re doing a lot of the work and it’s only right that I do everything I can for you today.”
Nazomi smiled as she looked at him. “You’re such a kind, sweet, animal Sebastian. I don’t mind, really.”
“I insist.”
Nazomi chuckled slightly. “You really are a gentleman aren’t you?” she mused.
Sebastian blushed a bit as he rubbed the back of his head. “I just...I want to do whatever I can. You’re a wonderful woman and a great teacher. And, well, I want to take any and every opportunity I can get to treat you right because you deserve it.” the lion said as he blushed some more, conviction clear to see in his eyes.
Nazomi couldn’t help but blush, his words having touched her more than anything in her past relationships. “Alright, how about this? If you want to help me then let’s make it a thing and finish cooking it together?” she offered with a smile.
“I’d like that.” Sebastian agreed with his own smile.
“Alright, just give me a moment.”
Sebastian nodded as Nazomi went to go put up the gifts that Sebastian jad gotten her. As she headed off, Sebastian found his eyes wandering over her form, taking in her figure that was shown off by her attire as well as lower, noting her slightly swaying hips and…tail. Sebastian cursed himself as he moved his eyes to something else. Sure he was still a teenager, a boy, but he prided himself in being better than most. Sure he had his...moments, as Jax so brazenly pointed out. But the last thing he wanted was to be that inappropriate towards Nazomi, even if he did, at times, allow some indulgences here and there.
When Nazomi got back she smiled. “Alright, ready?”
Sebastian nodded. “Yes.”
“OK, should be done in half the time with both of us working on it.”
Nazomi lead Sebastian to the kitchen to show him that she was preparing, a fruit lasagna with the usual accompaniments. After Sebastian looked over the recipe she was using, one from the cooking show Happy Happy Cooking that was toted to be one of their more popular ones among carnivores. he set to work helping her, working side by side as they prepared the fruit, making sure that everything was layered properly. Like in the car, ever now and then Nazomi and Sebastian would briefly hold hands as they prepared the meal, satisfying their feline proclivity for touch contact. It wasn’t too long before they had the lasagna in the oven and the accompanying bread.
“Alright, shouldn’t be too long for it to fully cook, thanks for the help.” Nazomi said as she nuzzled Sebastian, giving him an affectionate hug as well. “In the meantime, we can go over some of my old notes and other things while we wait to help you out with your career path if you like.”
“Sure.” Sebastian smiled as he nuzzled and hugged her back, the two staying like that for a good minute.
“I’ll go get them then.” Nazomi said as she finally and somewhat hesitantly separated to go get her old college notes and study material, returning shortly after with them.
While the food cooked Nazomi went over various things she had to study and learn with Sebastian, covering things they hadn’t gone over from prior times and quizzing him on material they had. To Sebastian, this was like cram school in a sense, getting ready for what he’d need to know to excel in college, only with a more...personal and romantic one on one touch. While he never had issue with paying attention to any of his teachers, Sebastian always hung on every word Nazomi said. To him, her voice was just as beautiful as everything else about her. And just like all the times before, they shared affections with each other.
It seemed like no time at all when the food was done, the two of them chalking it up to them just enjoying each other’s company so much. As Nazomi got the lasagna and bread Sebastian set the table before helping her prepare their plates. As he finished helping her he noticed her take out some wine glasses and a bottle of wine and pouring some of the red liquid in each, although one was more of a sample serving compared to the other, before putting it up and placing them on the table.
“Wine?” Sebastian inquired.
“Just to help things feel a bit more normal.” Nazomi explained. “You don’t have to even drink it. But I was your age once, Rex it only feels like yesterday, and even back then sampling wine wasn’t wrong. That first date we had where you encouraged me to not deny myself any wine, where we acted like a teacher and student just having a meet up to discuss things, stayed on my mind for a while. It wasn’t right that there was some inequality, a full romantic atmosphere. So, I figured sense we’re in private I’d have us on an even level or give the feeling of it. But as I said, you don’t have to drink it.” she said before sitting down.
Sebastian blushed, smiling as he sat down. “Thank you, love.” he said with a fair bit of warmth in hid voice.
It never ceased to surprise the other that both worried about the other’s feelings and the challenges they had to face with their secretive relationship. Something that mad each grow more attached to the other was when a few days after their first date Nazomi had confessed to Sebastian that she was far more hesitant and worried than she let on. Revealing she had been hiding the anxiety of them being a thing and was actually on the verge of suggesting they just call the attempt off out of fear as well as the revelation of his uncle. But she had decided to go through with it because of how truly genuine and good a man he was among other things that made her want to try. Sebastian himself had also confided in her his own concerns and worries about it and her, which made her just feel all the stronger for him over time.
“By the way, how has your day been so far?” Sebastian asked as he began to eat, taking a bite of the lasagna. “Oh, this is delicious.”
“It is.” Nazomi agreed as she took a bite of it. “It’s all thanks to you though, doubt it would have been as good without a little help.” she said with a smile. “As for my day, it’s gone well so far, just the usual grading of papers and preparing for the coming weeks’ lessons. Same old, same old, really. So far the rest of the students I have are nice and do there best. Despite what issues some might cause outside of the classroom I don’t really have to deal with any troublemakers really. Maybe a few slackers or an unmotivated student, but that’s about it.”
“Well you’re a great teacher, I find it hard to believe that any pf my peers would want to cause any trouble in your class. Not only that, but you’re very nice and helpful too.” Sebastian commented.
A smile formed on Nazomi’s mouth as her ebony fur darkened. “Thank you, you’re always so sweet Sebastian.” she said as she purred a bit. “Honestly, I think you’re one of the best students at the school, you work hard and are always so polite. I know you’ll go far with being a teacher.”
Sebastian blushed heavily. “Thank you…” he said with a half smile. “Though I will admit, keeping it up can be a bit— stressful. Comes with being a lion, expectations and familial pressure.” he admitted
Nazomi blinked as she looked at him. “Is it that hard?”
“It’s, well…”
Nazomi moved her hand to rest on top of his. “You can tell me if this is something negatively effecting you Sebastian.”
The lion sighed a bit. “It is hard. Being a lion you’re seen as the king of beasts, someone who’ll go far and have high positioned jobs or in some form of leadership. That image both helps and hurts us, becoming a driving factor of pushing ourselves as much as possible to keep to a standard. It’s something that permeates every lion family, the mothers and fathers pushing their kids to do something worthy of being a lion. Cram school is seen as an expected and normal thing to do and those who don’t do it are mostly looked down on as they are often those that end up in gangs or didn’t try hard enough.”
Nazomi’s hand gripped his, squeezing gently. “Is your family pressuring you?”
“Not...entirely. My mother often brings up what my older brother and my sister are doing and keeps suggesting I try to do the same. She doesn’t seem disappointed, but there’s just something about her voice…” Sebastian admitted. “She is happy that I’m doing well, but I know she expects more. She thinks I’m planning to go into an education position that’s high up, or at a prestigious university when I don’t care where I teach so long as I do some good.”
Nazomi squeezed his hand again, feeling bad for the lion. “That’s not all that good Sebastian, have you thought about bringing it up to a councilor?”
Sebastian shrugged. “Somewhat. But as I said, this permeates lions as a whole, it’s far too ingrained to really be dealt with. Thankfully my situation isn’t too bad, it cab be far worse. Plus, I like learning so it’s not that big of a deal. I also have my friends and, well, you.” he smiled.
Nazomi blushed heavily. “I see…”
“I hope I didn’t make things awkward or anything…”
“No, no! You’re fine Sebastian.” Nazomi assured. “It’s good you have a support system and you don’t really let it get to you, you’re very strong for that. Will you tell your mother you’ll try to teach anywhere?”
“Eventually, yes, when I’m nearing the end of my higher education and am about to apply to various places.” Sebastian answered. “Just like how I’ll tell her about us when I’m a bit into my freshman year at college or before I get into college if we get that far, which I hope we do and keep doing. You are an amazing woman and to be honest, to me you are far more exceptional than any other.”
Nazomi blinked, her fur becoming more dark red than ebony black as her heart melted. He was the kindest, most genuine soul she had ever met and continued to prove he was mature beyond his years. “I— thank you Sebastian.” she said with a soft purr, falling a fair bit more for the lion.
From there the two continued to talk as they ate, taking their time and enjoying each other’s company as they swapped stories about their childhood. Nazomi found herself surprised as she learned that even as a young kid Sebastian was well mannered and somewhat bookish. She felt comfortable around him, able to share with him more embarrassing things like the time she was so nervous to do a presentation in high school that she messed up a word or two or when she practically face planted when she was looking at a crush. It just felt right and natural to be so open with him.
When they had finished eating, Sebastian even having drank the small bit of wine, he and Nazomi cleared the table. Sebastian even helped her with the dishes before they went back to going over some more of Nazomi’s old papers and work to help prepare him. It seemed like no time once more as they noticed the sun was start to set.
“Is it really that late already?” Nazomi asked as she looked at her clock, taking note of the time.
“Looks like it.” Sebastian commented.
“My how time flies, it seems to go so slow until well…” she blushed. “I’m around you.”
Sebastian blushed heavily. “Yeah…”
“Thank you for the lovely time, as well as the gifts and helping out, not many guys are as considerate as you.” Nazomi commented.
“Well, you’re worth any effort…” the lion blushed.
Nazomi smiled, blushing as well. How could this lion keep finding ways to make her heart feel like it was a puddle? She hadn’t really met many guys with the ability to do that over the years, more so not in recent years. It had gotten to the point where she just really stopped looking. But then Sebastian came around and made her feel things she hadn’t felt in a long time. His gentlemanly studious nature and willingness to be so considerate, among other things, just had her more enamored with each time they were together. The fact that he was willing to take things so slow, deny himself the most basic of typical teenage experiences that most his age were having just made him seem too good to be true. And yet, there he was proving to be just that good.
Then there was the fact that while she did do a fare share for the holiday he had not only helped out, but went out of his way to get her flowers and a rather nice gift, not expecting anything special in return and just wanting to treat her right. As the lion got up from where they had been sitting she stood. “Sebastian, before I take you back to Cherryton...I think you deserve another kiss.”
Sebastian blinked as he blushed. “I don’t want you to feel obligated to…”
“No, I want to.” Nazomi admitted with a smile. “The only true thing that’s tricky with our relationship is that you’re a student and I’m a teacher. You’ve proven time and again just how good a man you are and that you are someone I...have looked for.” she blushed. “So I don’t see us kissing, at least in private and while off school grounds as being an issue. I know you’d never take advantage of me and I want to reward you for such, and for treating me to one of the best times I’ve had in a while.”
Sebastian’s tail started to flick happily as he smiled. “Alright.”
The two approached each other, embracing as they leaned in to share a kiss. Just like with their first, it was utterly electrifying for Sebastian. The feel of Nazomi’s lips unlike anything he felt before as his heart beat out of his chest as he started to purr. Sebastian enjoyed every second that the kiss lasted, his hands starting to subconsciously roam along her back a bit, though he would catch and restrain himself before they went too low.
Nazomi for her part pressed a bit firmer than last time, what with it being a holiday for love. As they kissed she noticed that Sebastian’s hands roaming along her back, taking in her form and the feel of her body and causing her to purr a fair bit. She smiled as she noticed he restrained himself from doing anything inappropriate, knowing her trust in him would never be misplaced. Although she promised to herself one day when he was no longer a student, she’d allow him to no longer restrain himself.
As she finally broke the kiss Nazomi smiled. “That was a wonderful kiss, possibly better than the first.” she giggled.
“Y-yeah…” Sebastian agreed, his cheeks a dark red.
“Thank you for being such a gentleman and not taking advantage.” Nazomi commented as they stayed embraced.
“I’d never.”
“I know love.” she smiled. “And that is why I will make you this promise. If we manage to make it to when you are out of school, then you have permission to not restrain yourself anymore as we’ll be in the clear. Not that you’d need my permission at that point” Nazomi giggled. “Anyway, we best get going before it gets too dark.”
Sebastian’s blush deepened all the more. “Yeah…”
The two headed back out to Nazomi’s car, first checking for anyone that might notice before getting in and driving off. The ride back went much like the first, the two briefly holding hands here and there as they made their way through the city. It was something that both Sebastian and Nazomi seemed almost unable to resist doing. Hell, when they had walked back to Nazomi’s car their tails entwined again.
When they got back to the bottom of the hill that Cherryton rested on the moon had not been fully risen for too long. “Thanks again for the lovely Linked Souls Day, I haven’t really celebrated it in so long.” Nazomi said as she parked the car.
“No problem, hopefully our next date can be somewhat soon.” Sebastian replied with a smile. “I hope the rest of your weekend goes well.”
“Thank you Sebastian, you too, I’ll see you Monday.” Nazomi smiled.
Sebastian was about to get out when he stopped. “Nazomi?”
“Yes?”
“Mind if we...have one more kiss?” Sebastian asked as he blushed.
Nazomi smiled as a giggle escaped her lips. “I suppose not, it’s only right to have a goodnight kiss after a date.”
The two leaned in close, sharing in one more kiss as they rested a paw on the back of each other’s head, purring loudly as they did so. When the kiss broke a few moments later Sebastian smiled. “Good night.”
“Good night love.”
Sebastian got out of the car, walking back up the hill as Nazomi turned her car around and left. The lion smiled as his heart continued to race, he was as happy as he had ever felt and was all the happier that Nazomi felt the same way as he did. While it was true their relationship had a strong possibility of stopping if they were ever in great enough danger of being found out, it seemed that she was daring for it to work as much as he was. Whether it did or not, only the future knew.

Help! I have been teaching for two years in a lower grade level. I have been offered a 4th grade teaching position at a new school and I am debating on taking this or leaving education all together. I think working an upper grade level might help me to see that I still like teaching. The thing that I struggled with most in the lower grade level the last two years was overstimulation and constant needs from students. It sounds silly but it really took a lot out of me and often interfered with my teaching.
• Do things like neediness/noise levels/chatting get better in 4th grade?
• How is apathy?
• Has switching grade levels helped anyone realize they do like teaching (maybe just started in the wrong grade level or school)?!!

So I have this crush on an enfp girl (that I've asked her about her personality type a while ago), I've managed to talk to her a few times last month and we even have similar interests and we've been getting along well.
But the thing is, it's always me who initiates a conversation with her, asking her how she did on her exams, and just checking in on her in general. She always replies enthusiastically and is talkative so I'm just really confused if she is just being nice to me or if I can hope for something more.
I don't mind taking the initiative, but I don't want to seem annoying or needy, so I'm kinda hesitant to be the one taking the initiative, but at the same time I don't want to wait for too long for her to initiate, fearing she might just not and lose interest overtime.
What would you fellow ISFJs do in this situation? I would appreciate your opinion and thank you very much!

I'm 20 years old and just graduated high school last month. I don't have my diploma yet, but I'll be getting it later this month. I have no idea how to get a job. I'm nervous beyond belief and worried me being neurodivergent will make it harder to get and keep a job. I have terrible social anxiety and social skills. What do I do and what do I need?

Apparently, I made the mistake of revealing to my mother how much I love my significant other and that we’re progressing towards marriage.
Now for anybody, literally ANYBODY, on the planet, you’d think that would be news worthy of celebration. But alas… I’m not Mormon. I don’t hold Mormon beliefs or values, and so in her eyes I’m doing it all wrong.
My significant other and I have known each other for years and have been the best of friends, but only recently became romantically involved due to our life circumstances (physical distance being the primary one- living in different states and work, etc). However our lives have come together and we plan on creating a future together. For context, we’re both over 40 neither of us have children.
Today I shared with my mother the news that I may soon ask my best friend to marry.
She knows I no longer view marriage as practiced by churches as having any legitimacy in the eyes of god, (if in fact he exists,) and that it is a social construct of man. Knowing this, she chose to rub my nose in that belief rather than be happy for me.
Her response… “Have you shared with ————- that marriage means nothing to you? That to you it’s just a piece of paper from the government?”
There it was, the passive aggressive jab, a needle pressed into an already open wound. The Mormon response.
That was it. I blew up at my mother. I told her that even though her advice was appreciated, it was NOT solicited. I explained to her how her church beliefs and response turned my joyous announcement into immediate feelings of anger for her - and that I didn’t want to feel that way. I also said, if I were any other person and had announced this, she would have been happy for them. But since it was me and I’m not Mormon, (but once was,) she felt she had permission and license to pass judgement and delegitimize it. I said to her, “You always see me in a negative light and I am done with it. I understand you believe there is only one way to live and be happy, but that’s simply not how life works and it’s certainly not how my life has worked. You’ve convinced so many people to pass up wonderful opportunities in their lives because YOU didn’t approve of how they did things, well it’s NOT about what YOU want any more. There are multiple paths to happiness and if you can’t be happy for me and for what brings me happiness, then you deserve to remain miserable. You assume too much.”
I apologized for being so blunt and left it at that.
I can’t be worried about pleasing her however. It’s just sad to me she will not be able to EVER share in the joy I experience in my life.
The end… rant over. Thank you for listening.