Is Now the Time for Plan Fiduciaries to Think About Bitcoin? Tick Tock – Why It is Helpful to View Bitcoin Halving Cycles Like a Clock

In April 2024, the fourth Bitcoin halving will occur. The halving means that the portion of the block reward that is a fixed number of bitcoin a successful miner receives for their work will be cut in half. Currently, a successful miner receives 6.25 bitcoin for each block it mines plus the amount of transaction fees associated with the block. The fixed number of bitcoin a miner who successfully mines a block will receive after the next halving will be 3.125.
A Bitcoin halving occurs every 210,000 blocks. A block is mined approximately every 10 minutes and the Bitcoin protocol assures the blocks are mined approximately every 10 minutes by adjusting the difficulty of the hash rate every 2,016 blocks. The difficulty adjustment moves the target hash up or down depending on how fast the previous 2,015 blocks were created which is strongly correlated to the hashing power being used over that time period.
One interesting way people have begun viewing the halving cycles is in terms of a clock. A halving occurs approximately every 4 years ((210,000 blocks * 10 minutes)/(365.25 days * 24 hours * 60 minutes) = 3.99 years). Every 52,500 blocks would represent approximately one year of the four-year halving cycle. The next halving is scheduled to occur on April 15, 2024. Viewing the halving cycles as a clock provides myriad interesting insights as the chart below illustrates.
Sorry I can't get the chart to copy into post but it is here at the link - https://cryptoustaxattorneys.com/tick-tock-why-it-is-helpful-to-view-bitcoin-halving-cycles-like-a-clock/
The top of the clock, where a 12 would be on a typical clock, represents the point where the halving occurs. This represents a reset in the halving cycle and the count towards the next 210,000 blocks begins. The orange line on the chart represents the price of bitcoin and each circle represents bitcoin’s price denominated in United States dollars starting at $0.001 and growing by a 10x multiple all the way to $1,000,000 at the outermost circle.
The blue dots on the chart represent the price of bitcoin reaching an all-time high. At Bitcoin’s inception, before a halving even occurred (which could be referenced as the genesis cycle), the price of bitcoin reached an all-time high in each of the first three years of the genesis cycle. However, discounting the genesis cycle appears appropriate as Bitcoin was truly in its infancy and no supply shock had been introduced into the system.
After the first halving, which occurred on November 28, 2012, the price of bitcoin reached an all-time high within the first year of the halving cycle. The price of bitcoin continued to fluctuate until it surpassed its previous all-time high in the second year of the halving cycle. The bottom of the second halving cycle, which is marked by the red dots in each cycle on the chart above, came in the third year of the halving cycle
After the second halving, which occurred on July 9, 2016, the price of bitcoin reached an all-time high at the end of the first year of the new cycle and again in the first half of the second year. The second halving cycle’s all-time high was achieved almost exactly halfway through the second year of the halving cycle. The bottom of the second halving cycle occurred almost exactly halfway through the third year of the halving cycle.
After the third halving, which occurred on May 11, 2020 and is the current halving cycle, the price of bitcoin reached an all-time high in the second half of the first year. The third halving cycle’s all-time high, just like the second halving cycle’s all-time high, was achieved almost exactly halfway through the second year of the halving cycle! And, just like the bottom of the second halving cycle, the bottom of the third halving cycle, at least to date, occurred almost exactly halfway through the third year of the halving cycle.
There is a trend for bitcoin to reach an all-time high within the first 78,750 blocks of a new halving cycle. In fact, it is almost precisely at that point, 78,750 blocks into a new halving cycle, that bitcoin has reached its all-time high for that particular cycle. Similarly, the halving cycle lows of the past two cycles are each roughly 131,250 blocks in to the new halving cycle.
Another interesting insight the chart provides is the line representing the bitcoin price never intersects anywhere in the chart. In other words, the price of bitcoin has never been less at that specific point in the halving cycle compared to the previous halving cycle. The spiral has only grown outward. Will that continue until the final block reward is paid out in 2140? I’m skeptical. However, it would not be a surprise to see this trend continue for several more halving cycles as Bitcoin continues to become intertwined with the world’s economy.
Bitcoin recently entered the fourth year of the current halving cycle. If history is any indicator, this has been a good time to buy bitcoin. Admittedly, Bitcoin has never existed during a recession which could be looming over the world economy. It is easy to get caught up in the day-to-day volatile swings of the price of bitcoin and the mainstream media’s sensationalized claims that Bitcoin has died (474 times and counting), but viewed through the lens of the halving cycles a pattern may be emerging. A sound strategy may be to allocate a small percentage of one’s portfolio to bitcoin and then forget about it for two halving cycles without following the predictable price fluctuation that occurs over the short-term.
Even if a plan fiduciary is not ready to make bitcoin available to plan participants or place on a pension fund’s balance sheet, it is time for all plan fiduciaries to have a deep understanding of Bitcoin’s fundamental properties. One question that plan fiduciaries should ponder is: If this market cycle is not the right time for plan participants and plans to invest in bitcoin, how many more successful market cycles are needed?
I would highly encourage those who are interested in learning more about the Bitcoin halving cycle phenomenon to watch this insightful, concise presentation by u/therationalroot from the 2023 Bitcoin Conference. As always, if you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to [contact us](mailto:[email protected]).

I'm 30+. I've struggled with anxiety and depression since childhood and have been getting help for it for over a decade. I find myself pretty depressed these days: I don't have close friends, I'm not in a relationship. I don't feel "myself" around people. My job feels pointless. I worked so hard in school, was driven and ambitious and wanted to work in a career where I can help people and make a difference, but I feel like most jobs I have worked felt like useless busy work. I'm overcoming driving anxiety as an adult and feel discouraged how behind I feel in life.
I don't really feel I have a purpose really. I've ignored these feelings and just try to do my best one day at a time: I work out, eat healthy. I use my free time to do hobbies and learn skills so I can change my job. But despite this, in the background, I feel like there are negative emotions.
I have been reading about the lonliness epidemic and how the surgeon general in US declared it a real public health concern, and feel like I am one of those people suffering from it. Even though I live in a large US city and have found myself participating in as many activities as possible, I haven't found a community really. Most people my age have their own friends and families that keep them busy. For the past year, I've been the one making initiatives to hang out and spend time with people. But if I'm not actively doing this, then nobody does it first.
When I was a kid, I was a pretty popular and loved person. We had a community and I made friends instantly. I'm an only child, so friendships were important. My friends would actually cry and fight over to spend time with me. When my childhood friends had to move to another country, my family dropped them off at the airport and when they waved us goodbye, they cried so hard. It really felt like I had a purpose and place in people's lives. But over time, I've become a nobody in these same friends' lives. Despite that we are now more connected than ever with social media, a lot of these friends don't even follow me back anymore. They're busy with their own families now and have lives of their own.
I feel completely abandoned. I went from a happy, popular kid to an invisible, awkward adult. My parents aren't from America and I am brown, so when it came to school and elsewhere, I had to keep proving myself or otherwise people would assume I'm not American and don't know American culture or customs. This caused challenges when I went on to pursue a professional career-I'd always feel doubted and sometimes I would be blatantly humiliated that only made my self-esteem issues worse. I have been constantly humiliated by my family members too. My aunt has some serious issues and called me a piece of shit and even told me that I was supposed to be aborted and asked me what purpose I serve in the world. My college roommate who was my childhood friend and somebody I once considered a best friend moved to the same city as me and never hangs out with me. The only time she did is when I invited her to hang out, but otherwise months have gone by and she and her roommate, who I know too from college, don't hang out with me at all. I have given up and focused on making new friends, but it's not always easy. Everbody seems to have a place they belong in except me.
I live with roommates and have decided to continue until I feel ready to afford my own place. One of my roommates atm is passive aggressive and making living in my apartment an uncomfortable experience. I usually just ignore people but this time I talked back to her b/c it was getting really annoying.
I know people say that social media isn't real life-but I honestly also look at social media at times and feel like people are living lives I can't even begin to imagine: fancy wedding parties, bridal showers, bachelorette parties, hangouts and core friend groups. Most of my friends don't even remember my birthday. I don't know how it all came to this-I'm an outgoing, friendly person with a good sense of humor. I care deeply about people and remember details about them. I'm an active listener. Instead of making friends, I feel I've been used and abandoned. I feel so deeply sad as an adult. Just needed a place to vent.

I have been admiring from afar for a while now. I’ve decided to jump into learning how to crochet 🧶 I am hoping y’all can advise me on what to buy and where to find easy beginner patterns. Thank you !

Universe by U/BlueFishCake
Previous Chapter
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////
I don't look like a sad orphan! I think.
Sean was frantically looking through his extremely limited supply of "nice" clothes. Haali had reminded him that while they were proper business attire, they weren't exactly glamorous or flattering. Sean had no use for fancy clothes, so he really didn't have any. Now here he was kicking himself for not having at least one nice shirt.
He leaned over and looked at himself in the mirror and groaned, "Damnit I have no idea what I'm doing. Reflection what do I do?".
He and his reflection both shrugged, "Ugh, some use you are.".
He stuck his head back into his closet, hoping that somehow a perfect article of clothing had somehow appeared there. Coincidentally he remembered an old shirt he had "borrowed" from his dad. He hadn't noticed it before, he kept it tucked away in a box at the top of the closet and he often forgot it existed. Besides, he virtually never looked through his clothes with this level of intensity.
As he reached up to the box, he began to feel increasingly ridiculous. It was one of his dad's old shirts from his partying days back when he was a little younger than Sean. Suffice it to say, the garment could be officially qualified as "old as shit".
Sean initially took it as a joke; something to wear to 80's parties or when he just wanted to look absurd. Fashion was an ever-changing force and so much time had passed since this shirt had been woven. You could turn a lot of heads for all the wrong reasons wearing this thing. But it did have one thing going for it: it strangely reminded him of something Haali would wear.
It didn't look like his fluffy pirate shirt or anything, but it had that same "I'm here to party 'till I die look". Sean fumbled around until his hand met the box, with an odd degree of reverence he slid the box off the shelf and he sat it on his bed. He flipped the lid off with one finger and winced when he saw it again.
I forgot how outrageous this thing is...
The "Turquiose Menace" as he had come to call it, would arise once again. He held it up; he smiled, then cringed, then weakly smiled once more. He held it over himself in the mirror and tilted his head from side to side, trying to make a decision. After a few more seconds of looking, he shrugged, nodded, "It'll have to do...". He gently laid it on his bed and went to take a shower.
////////////////////////////////////////////
Haruk had been enjoying herself getting ready for tonight. She was smiling and running a brush through her hair as she hummed to herself. She had invested in a full body mirror and was enjoying the sight of herself looking so good. She was ecstatic to have an excuse to get all dressed up and look sexy. While she was quite satisfied with her appearance, she had a growing sense of dread in the back of her mind concerning Sean and Xerya.
Goddess I hope those two show up wearing something half way decent.
She stopped brushing her long hair for a moment to rotate around and check out her back side. She smiled and giggled a bit, she loved getting everything about this. She spun back around and pushed a lock of hair over her ear, she then resumed brushing her hair. As she raised the brush for another stroke, she froze.
I... I better go check on Xerya.
/////////////////////////////////////////////
Xerya wasn't used to this feeling, and she really didn't like it. She was someone who always had her shit together, and now was one of the very few times in her life where she didn't. The sliding door to her closet in her room was wide open. She had her arms outstretched, resting on the opposing sides of the closet. She had a thin sheen of stress sweat coating her face and her eyes were widened by a low grade panic attack.
Nice? What does that even mean? I think a tank top and sweat pants are nice. I know that's not what they mean, but shit, I don't really have anything to work with here!
She frantically shoved her hangers from side to side as she searched for some forgotten article of clothing. The real kick in the tits was Haali's specific ban on wearing uniforms. When she had first gotten word of their dinner date, that's exactly where her mind first went; hell, that’s what she always wore when she had to dress up. They might have been a little stiff and up tight, but it gave her a decent set of clothes that were accepted in most places.
That devious little imp had now starved her of her silver bullet for fashion. So now she was trapped in a clothesless wasteland of her own making, and she was running out of time. She was about to double down on her growing anxiety by panicking about the time but was interrupted by a knock at the door.
Several aggressive thuds on the door were followed by Haruk's voice. Her tone was a blend of teasing and legitimate concern, "Hey Xerya you alive in there? You didn't get crushed under your own tits did ya?".
Thank the goddess!
Xerya bounded over to her door, her massive jugs bouncing around with every step. She had been topless while trying to decide what to wear. She flung the door open wearing an uncharacteristically neurotic look of fear. She was greeted by the image of an irritatingly sexy and well-dressed Haruk.
At first, she thought Haruk had magically grown several inches, but then as she looked down she noticed the shoes she was wearing. A pair of high heeled sandals were strapped to her feet. She was adorned by a cobalt blue dress that clung to her hips and ass and flowed freely as it cut off just above her ankles. It accented her flat tummy and the curves of her breasts as two straps tied together behind her neck to hold the whole thing up.
She had shiny earrings on and her hair had been expertly curled and styled. Her long glossy ponytail cascaded over her left shoulder. The blue of her highlights blended with the blue of her dress...and at that point Xerya realized she was staring. At Haruk of all people.
Haruk grinned and gently slid her ponytail over her shoulder in a practiced motion, "Damn I must look good, I'm even making girls stare.".
Xerya's cheeks became tinged with blue, "I-uhh- no I wasn't!".
Haruk rolled her eyes, "Yeah ok whatever.". Her eyes then crept downward to the blue capped mountains hanging off Xerya's chest, "So uhhh", she pointed at Xerya's tits, waving her finger in a little circle, "What's going on here?".
Xerya's blush intensified, she felt vulnerable. Not because of her tits hanging out, but because she didn't have a plan. Not having a plan was not how she lived her life. "Haruk I don't know what to do! You and Sean said no uniforms and I have nothing else but my awesome comfortable clothes.".
Haruk pushed past Xerya and invaded her room while shaking her head, "My goddess...".
For such a clever and punctual person, Xerya really did live like an animal. There was clutter and random bits of clothing all over the place. Haruk spun around in place marveling at the duality of Xerya's existence, "How do you live like this?".
Xerya swung her door shut and stepped to face Haruk. She ran her hands down her cheeks, "It's worse than usual. If you can't tell, I'm sort of freaking out. What the deep do I wear? I don't know how to look good!".
Haruk didn't want to ruin her makeup, but she managed a modest face palm anyways. She chuckled lightly, "You already look good you idiot. You just need to learn how to show it!".
Xerya flailed her arms in frustration, "With what though? Look in that closet? Would you honestly allow me to wear anything in there to dinner? We both know you're going the be the self-proclaimed fashion police here.".
Haruk smiled and pointed right at Xerya's face, "And don't you forget it.".
Haruk quickly spun around and began to pick through Xerya's closet. A mere few seconds later she spun around looking like she just saw a ghost, "You're fucked.".
Xerya mirrored Haruk's terror, "...what... do I do?".
Haruk looked at her omni pad, "Well we could try to run out real fast a-".
"We don't have time!" Xerya shouted.
Haruk stood silently with her chin resting on the thumb and index finger. One of her long legs pumped rhythmically as if generating thoughts. She looked up to Xerya with a somber expression, "There's only one thing we can do then.".
Xerya was desperate, she'd try anything at this point. Sean would be arriving in a few minutes, and she was out of ideas. Her voice was full of desperation, "Whatever it is, I'll do it!".
Haruk nodded, "Come to my room, it’s up to my closet to save you.".
Haruk strode out without another word. Her mind was focused solely on the task at hand; and it was quite a task. Trying to fit Xerya into her clothes sounded impossible, but tonight they needed to accomplish exactly that.
Haruk opened Xerya's door, then her own a few seconds later. Xerya stood there looking across the hall with her hands hanging at her sides. She whispered quietly and fearfully, "But... how will I fit?".
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Sean was powerwalking his way through the corridors of the building. The black eyes of the marines were glued to him even more than usual. His shirt did not button up all the way, so he had been flashing his chest to everyone he crossed paths with. His face was burning red from all the attention.
It had been a constant stream of cat calls the whole way there. Many of the faces he recognized simply from being on the base a lot, and then there were the faces that belonged to his students. It was easy enough to ignore the strangers and run away. It was much harder to ignore Shinal stepping out of her room and staring at his chest while licking her lips.
Sean watched her nipples harden as she cooed, "You're looking... sharp today Mr. Warwick.". Sean felt obligated to say something on account of being her teacher. He smiled weakly and gave a quick, "Hi Shinal, see ya tomorrow.". He didn't even stop moving to say it. He blew past her as she leaned out her door to shamelessly stare at his ass like many others were.
Shinal pivoted back into her doorway and whispered to herself, "See you tomorrow...". She smiled up at the ceiling and disappeared back into her room.
Sean was grateful that he could see Xerya's door coming into view down the hallway. He never thought drowning in pussy could be a bad thing, until now. He laughed internally at the thought of a giant blue vagina popping out of a door somewhere and swallowing him whole like some sort of "Penis Fly-trap". He felt safer already as he gently knocked on Xerya's door.
His budding sense of safety quickly faded away as no one answered the door. That was very unlike Xerya to not stick to the plan.
I hope everything is ok. What if she's sick, or in trouble with work? That would fuck up the whole night. She better not, but she's better than that. What if something happened to her? Oh fuck maybe she's hurt... or worse!?
God damnit why does my brain always go straight to this insane shit!?
Sean looked to his right and saw several marines mingling about farther down the hall and trying very hard not to look like they were staring. Sean wanted nothing more than to disappear into Xerya's room, and now for some unknown reason he couldn't.
Fuck it, plan B.
He turned around and banged on Haruk's door in a decidedly more panicked fashion. A few seconds of insane daydreaming later and the door opened, revealing an exceptional looking Haruk.
Sean looked up extra high to meet her eyes, "Woah...".
Haruk smiled brightly and blushed, "Hi, Sean you look so...".
She bit her lip as her eyes glued themselves to his chest, "...good".
The reality of Sean's situation then dawned on Haruk. She leaned past Sean and looked into the hall; her suspicions were confirmed by the presence of the unwanted competition out there. She wrapped an arm around Sean's waist and quickly pulled him inside, "You beautiful idiot, get in here!".
Sean paced forward a bit and turned to watch Haruk push her door shut. Haruk put her hands on her hips, "You should have called one of us! You went through all that alone?".
Sean looked at the floor, "Ehh yeah, to both of those things, sorry.".
Haruk bent down and hugged Sean, "No I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be mean. I just want you to be safe.".
Sean turned and kissed her cheek as he wrapped his arms around her, "Well here I am in one piece, also, holy shit you look gorgeous!".
He broke out of her hug and stepped back to fit all of Haruk in his vision. He looked at her from head to toe, "You look so good I almost just wanna skip dinner.".
Haruk swooned, "If any of us looks good, its you! I've never seen a shirt like that. It's very se- um it looks so good on you!".
Sean laughed as he remembered how he dressed, "This thing practically came out of a time machine. It used to belong to my dad back when he was my age. I kept it just for fun, oddly enough it kind of reminded me of the shirts Haali wears.".
Haruk winked, "Well, whatever it is, it’s working.".
Sean couldn't help but to run a hand along Haruk's tight thigh, "Yeah, so is this.".
He looked up at Haruk and they swapped not so innocent smiles. Sean then membered why be was here, "So where's Xerya?".
Haruk looked to the corner of her room where her closet resided. Their rooms may not have had bathrooms in them, but they generous closets. She gently and quite reluctantly guided Sean's hand off of her thigh, "Let me go check. We had a bit of a clothing situation.".
Sean shrugged and chuckled, "Umm, ok. I hope she's about ready.".
As Haruk approached the closet Sean heard Xerya's voice, "I almost ready I swearing! And hi Sean!".
Sean smiled and looked toward the closet, "Everything ok in there?".
Haruk looked into her closet, "Oh my goddess!".
As she rounded the corner, she was greeted with the sight of Xerya annihilating her stretchiest dress. It was the only thing she had a hope of fitting into, and fitting was a very relative term in this case. She was spilling out of the top and bottom of Haruk's poor white dress.
She was frantically stuffing her tits back into the extremely low neckline. Doing so caused it to ride up her legs and damn near cause her ass to fall out the bottom. Her tits took up so much room in the dress there really wasn't much room left for the rest of her.
Xerya looked at Haruk with a worried expression, "Hold on I just need another second.". She reached down and pulled the bottom to cover more of her ludicrously thick thighs.
Haruk's looked shocked, "You're exploding out of it! By the Empress! You look like you're going to an erotica convention!".
Xerya turned to her looking terrified, "So, it's not working? We don't have time for anything else! And I feel ridiculous!".
Haruk was exasperated, "I mean, it's working, but not for the right reasons.".
Sean overheard this exchange, and he couldn't help but have a look. He peeked around the corner and his jaw hit the floor. Xerya was rocking a beyond skintight white dress that honestly couldn't contain her assets. He got there just in time to see her adjust her bra straps which made the dress ride back up her thighs again.
Xerya saw Sean emerge and blushed like she did the first time they met. She shyly put her hands behind her back and put on a nervous smile, "Hi".
Sean smiled ear to ear while fucking her with his eyes, "Hello to you.".
Haruk rolled her eyes, "See, he basically wants to fuck you right here. Only problem is, now we gotta go have dinner with our boss's, boss's, boss.".
Both Sean and Xerya wilted a bit, but very quickly their eyes began to slither all over each other again. Xerya huffed, "How do you wear these things Haruk?".
Haruk crossed her arms, "Well not like you, that’s for sure.".
Sean squeezed by Haruk, he was compelled to feel Xerya's touch. He literally couldn't stay away, "Xerya you look incredible.".
She quickly responded to his approach by kneeling down and kissing him. Sean allowed his hands to roam all over her, "Just uhhh, try not to pop out at the dinner table. I feel like that would make things maybe just a bit awkward.".
Xerya looked mortified, then relaxed a little, "Yes, I really do not want sex dinner.".
Xerya stood back up and Sean guided her and Haruk towards the door, "Yeah sex is for dessert, not dinner.".
As he said that he made eye contact with Haruk and licked his lips with a devilish smile. Haruk turned blue and bit her lip in anticipation.
They got to the door and Sean put his hand on the handle, "Ok, are you two as nervous as I am?”.
Haruk enthusiastically said, “Oh yeah.”.
Xerya, looking quite nervous, quietly and rapidly nodded.
Sean turned the handle and swung the door open, “Alright, lets try to survive this thing.”.
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The exo hangar was a loud, well-lit place. Most of the time. Now it was dark except for the lights in bay one. The building was eerily quiet except for the occasional clang or whirring of hand tools. As always, the place stunk of grease, coolant, and sweat.
There was one other sound that broke the pattern of mechanical noises.
"BROTHER FUCKING DAUGHTER OF A CUNT!"
Khe'siri leaned against the wrench and shoved with all her freakish strength. The sweat poured off her brow as she grunted and strained. She adjusted her footing, tightened her grip on the wrench and pushed again. Alas the stubborn bolt refused to turn.
She stepped back and shook the numbness out of her hands, "Goddess damned piece a shit! What crawled up your ass?".
She sat down on a crate and took a long sip off her water bottle. She scowled at the bolt; she hated it. She wanted to defeat it... to destroy it.
I don't care if it takes me all night. That little fucker is coming out of there.
Anyone else who saw her like this would assume she was miserable. That wasn't the case though. It was dark, quiet except for her, and there was no one else around. No people, no bullshit, just her and her work. This was her happy place.
Happy of course was a relative term. Khe'siri didn't have the broadest spectrum of emotions out there. She was angry more often than she wasn't, she was infamous for her fiery temper and foul mouth. A quiet calm was about as close to happy as she could go. Despite her swearing and endless threats to the inanimate objects around her, she was almost enjoying herself.
She stood back up and wiped her hands on her coveralls. As usual the top half was tied around her waist leaving just a tight black tank top covering her chest. Sort of. She once again glared at the bolt on the exo's ankle actuator, "Ok smart ass, you just earned yourself a date with the breaker.".
She reached behind her toolbox and retrieved a five-foot-long purple metal bar. It had a modular slot on the end to fit virtually any kind of nut, bolt, or screw in the Imperium. She had made it herself and was immensely proud of it. She was the only one who ever used it. Not only were many others afraid to interact with her, but they could barely even lift it anyways. It even felt heavy to her, and she loved it dearly.
As she wrapped her meaty hands around it, she looked at it with true affection. Love never brought her anything but trouble in the past. Love with people anyways, but the breaker only ever brought her joy. It was basically her boyfriend.
She had a joyous glint in her eye as she approached the bolt once more, "Alright you little shit, looks like we're doing this the hard way.".
She found herself holding back a smile. Despite the joy she felt wielding the breaker, she really hated that bolt.
Without any preamble she slotted in the proper head and placed it over the bolt. She had the bar angled across her chest so she could channel all her might into it. Between that and the massive mechanical advantage provided by its length, no nut or bolt had ever resisted its power. She was confident this one would be broken like all the others.
"TIME TO GET FUCKED"
Her biceps swelled as she dumped all her power into the breaker. This was the part where the bolt was supposed to turn. Where she got to win. To have at least one little thing in her life turn out her way. But it did not.
She grunted, those grunts turned into growls. Her frustration and rage crescendoed into outright yells, "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!". Almost as if the universe wanted to kick her while she was down, she caught a glimpse of herself reflected on a deactivated data pad as she screamed that question.
She let go of the breaker and thew her arms into the air. She was still looking at her reflection, "What the fuck is wrong with you?".
This was supposed to be the one thing she was good at. Her current failure reminded her of her abysmal scores in that stupid English class she had to take. Not that she really gave a shit about it, but she needed to pass. After a prior incident involving a gratuitous lack of self-control and a dumbass fellow mechanic, Sergeant Revni had creatively punished Khe'siri by enrolling her in English classes on base.
Now she was stuck in that class with a bunch of hopeless cunts who think they'll be able to fuck their teacher. Not only did she not like her classmates, but that human language was stupid. It's hard to learn a language when you hate it and the class.
Then there was that teacher of theirs. He was always parading around the room acting like he was everyone's friend with his tight little pants and fat ass. Guys only ever brought her trouble. Now she had to sit there and listen to a preachy little human male teach her his primitive language.
And now this bolt.
Thinking about the mountain of failures that was her life caused her temper to flare once more. She stormed over to the data pad and threw a punch fueled by her searing anger. The screen instantly cracked into a spiderweb pattern, and the entire back side now domed outwards. Not feeling satisfied, she grabbed the tablet and launched it across the room where it exploded against the opposite wall.
"FUCK!"
She stood there panting and looking at the floor while the hurricane in her mind gradually wound down. She turned to head back to the breaker for one last final try when she noticed something.
Oh my fuck.
The entire casing for that ankle joint was bent. It would be impossible to pull the bolts now. Fixing a broken arm had just turned into brain surgery. Khe'siri gritted her teeth and sneered, "Oh just wait till I find the bitch that drives this thing..."

For those with pending GT. those with PG can also refer, pattern is more or less the same. Hope it helps
• No questions from books and authors, inventions and discoveries, organisations
• Which countries have natural frontiers with India? 3 countries each given in all 4 options. Like Russia, Nepal, China, etc.
• 2 questions from epithets
• Land of rising sun? Options - Japan, Norway, etc.
• City of 7 hills? Options - Rome, Athens, etc.
• Brass contains which elements?
• Identify which are zaid crops. Each option had 3 crops each, like tea, coffee, rubber etc.
• Grid with 4 squares given, having - Asterisk and plus in first row, hexagon in bottom left, and question mark in bottom right. Options had different 4 sided figures like rectangle, diamond, etc.
• Arvind Kejriwal was given Ramon Magsaysay award in which year? Options - 2003, 4, 5, 6
• Study of insects is called?
• Seating arrangement - 1
• Coding decoding easy - 1
• Direction sense - 1. Like a girl travels for x meters then turns lefts etc. What is her final position?
• Average - 1
• Stats - 1
• 7 values given out of which one is p+3. Mean value was given. Median is "q". Find square root of p+q
• Folding unfolding - 1
• Blood relations easy - 1
• Gk had tough questions, but less weightage, around 10-12 questions
• Quant and LR more or less weightage
• Find no. that does not belong to series. Here 3 of the nos. were sums of squares whereas one was square + non square
• Arithmetic progression 5, 11, 17, 23.... Find 50th term
• Quants had many formula based questions
• Speed and time - 2
• Speed given in km/h. Time given in seconds. Find distance
• Dice - 1
• Syllogism - 1
• A and B probability given. They are mutually exclusive. Find probability of both (Formula based)
• 1st day of year is Friday. Find day on March 1
• Trigonometry -1 easy question. AC 8 units, AB is 10 units. If the angle is theta between AC and BC, find sin square - cos square theta
• Geometry - 1. Square, pentagon and triangle were joint together, no values given, and we had to find one of the angles of the triangle
• Find the embedded figure
• CI - 1, SI 1 (PRT given, compounded half yearly, find CI)
• L is 2 cm more than B. Area of rectangle is 80 cm. Find perimeter.
• Sphere radius given 8 cm. If it is melted into height of cylinder 8 cm, find radius of cylinder
• India's 1st woman CM (repeated question from last week)
• Somali current, South West, etc 4 were given and RHS had cold and dry, hot and warm, etc.
• 3 match the following type questions in GK.
• No current affairs as such
• 3-4 science questions in GK
• Assertion: Diamond used to cut metals. Reason: Refractive index is high.
• One question about parts of eye. Options: retina, pupil, iris, ciliary muscles
• BODMAS 2 questions. They were a little tricky so practice solving such questions under time constraints during mocks.
• Ratio proportion 1-2
• Time and work 1-2
• x men and y women can do work in so many days. And a men, b women can do in so many days. Find no of days taken by c men and d women.
• HCF LCM 1-2 questions

Today in 6 hours I’ll have a third party person sit down with me and my soon to be ex husband about co-parenting strategies. Been together for 11yrs, married for 3. We met both being single parents to 4yr boys (now 15) and we had a daughter together 6yrs ago. The final straw happened on Easter, I’ve been living at a friends house just down the street since then. The bulk of our problems lied in his persistence of reactive abuse… constantly baiting me into arguing until I’d argue, then he’d be calm just calling me crazy. Part of this has lead to a lot of memory loss of why I’m even so upset with him in the first place. Constantly having to explain to him what he’s said that was wrong and how he should make amends to it… I just need to get my sanity and health back. I’m writing this on here because this is my pattern of relationships. As I learn what these problems are, I can see how I consciously allow them, and why. In 6 hours I’ll have one mantra for my goal conversation. “Only speak to me about the kids, the house, financial obligations, and scheduling.” We are unblending. This has been the only thing I’ve said to him since Easter and he’s done everything but what I’ve asked, up until last week. Because counseling is today. I want to tell him in front of a counselor that he is a bully to me, and I no longer want to be his friend. I hate him. And he needs to respect the fact that I’m allowed to hate him. I need room to hate and scream out all the injustice that he has bestowed to me over the last 11 years of my life, due to his emotional immaturity. He didn’t beat me, he didn’t financially abuse me, he’s a great dad…. He’s emotionally unintelligent and lacks empathy in moments of “black out arguments” and bullies me into playing into this routine over and over again. Unblending will not be easy. I took the kids up to northern Arizona last weekend to check in on them… my oldest is 100% just happy I feel safe at my friends house, and he feels safe with his step dad at the house. Like I said he’s a great dad… seems to be the women in his life that get the brunt of all this. His future relationship to our daughter will be a huge topic of discussion today as well. She’s used to us having opposite schedules so it hasn’t really hit her radar that I’m gone at night and come back in the morning. When I checked in with her, she’s super confident in the love we have for her and doesn’t have any questions. After this “exit coupling” counseling, we might do some family therapy as well. But for now I gotta get to 3pm and stick to the simple “hey man… when I tell you to only speak with me about the kids, house, finances, and scheduling, that is the bottom line. Anything else you choose to say and do apart from that is an attack on me. Stop attacking me. Stop. I’ve got a little PTSD going on over here about all this. Some of my ugly fears of single parent life are rising to the top, but honestly the sleep I get over at my new room solves that every time I get nervous. I know it’s gunna be ok. It’s just also gunna be a mess.

Hello, I'm doing this on a throwaway account because I don't want to risk anybody I know to connect who I am. Even though I am pretty young (16F), I would love to get some advice, plus it would be helpful in the future.
My guy best friend(M17) and I have been besties for not that long honestly. However, I did have a crush on him last year and he knew about it. I don't know what he felt about it and I knew there was a chance we might have ended up together, but we didn't. Anyways, we have grown closer this year and we talk about a lot of things. We talk about our views on controversial subjects so we can get to know each other and are respectful when we don't agree. We also tell each other a lot of secrets, he feels like a super trustworthy friend and it's so easy to talk to him. I feel so comfortable around him and it's weird. We are also a part of a lot of similar things so we see each other pretty often.
But I have noticed myself checking his location more often than normal and want to hang out with him. Sometimes I want to also just be alone with him and chill like a couple (like cuddling while scrolling on our phones or watching a movie). He's been in my dreams and I even imagined my first kiss with him. I want to be in a relationship with him but I don't want to risk us losing our friendship. I miss him in a romantic way? I don't know it's so confusing. Also it doesn't feel like any crush I have had in the past. I don't feel giddy or excited when he's around. Personally, I wouldn't be super heartbroken if he found a girlfriend, as long as he is happy I'm happy. I don't know what to do or how to process these feelings, I need some advice on all of this.
Additionally, he has given me confused signals. But he's the kind of guy who is friendly to everyone but I've noticed he picks up my calls and not other people's. We've also tried to stay up all night to do homework and encouraged each other the entire time. He tells me secrets that he doesn't tell anyone else. Except I know who he has a crush on, so I know he probably doesn't like me that way.
However, I do need advice with dealing with the feelings and what the feelings are, it would be really appreciated!
TL:DR
I have a guy friend who I've noticed I feel like I want a relationship with but I don't feel like I have a crush on him. The situation is super complicated for me and I would love to get some advice on the feelings if anyone has felt this way and what I should do.

Hi all, you know the drill, my mother was no different. I'm in my 40's; she's in her 70's; cut off contact with 10 or 11 years ago, due to her violent behavior, financial manipulation, you name it. (One of her favorite lines in my childhood was, 'You have a really low tolerance for pain.') I have been through some tough times. She responded by exhaustively writing to every friend of mine she had ever met, via social media channels, saying she is 'so concerned about her lost, troubled daughter', and would they kindly call me to find out where I am, and report back to them any other information I might share? I cut off contact with each of these friends once I recognized the pattern of questions; she knows this; so she succeeding in isolating me even though I went no-contact. It's been 10 years and she ran out of mutual friends to contact, so now she is sending her friends and relatives to email me, asking me 'to call home'. It feels like they regard me as chattel, or a troubled teenager, who has no rights, no right to privacy or safety, no right to make my own decisions, no right to friendships without my mother inserted. I mean, it's obvious I don't want to be contacted, so their response is to try harder to bully me back into the family dynamic. I called a lawyer and asked why this peculiar behavior; he said once I asked my parents not to contact me, it would be illegal for them to continue contacting me. But there is nothing illegal about them sending others to contact me on their behalf. Aggravating, yes, but not illegal. Recently my brother died, and now the harassment has increased. Maybe 5 or 7 people (I have never met) have tried contacting me in last month. I changed my phone number, so they switched to my personal email (no doubt distributed my parents). They say they are looking for me and I must call home. I truly hope she dies soon.
How far is this going to go? What are my options?

I am awaiting my official ASD diagnosis but I know what’s coming. I’ve known for a while and avoided getting tested because it brings up so many uncomfortable emotions. Mostly, anger and sadness. I am reeling from how it’s possible that it’s taken 40 years for someone to recognize my ASD traits. Life has been so hard for me, so painful and difficult to navigate, and I’m sad and angry that I’ve been in so many therapists offices - even as a child - and nobody, not one person, remotely picked up on it. It took my partner who has been raising neurodivergent children to gently start bringing it up with me.
At first, I was so offended that I pushed back on her suggestions hard. Without any previous knowledge or learning of ASDs, it felt like she was saying I was defective. Now, I realize that many of the people I connect with most and like the most are on the spectrum. They (we) are beautiful humans.
ASD explains so much about my history, my patterns of immense struggles in traditional school and work/cubicle environments. My difficulty in building and maintain friendships. My crushing discomfort and stress in busy, loud, crowded places. My isolated behaviors. My social anxiety. My emotional outbursts that I know are irrational but can’t seem to stop during stress. My incessant daydreaming and how off balance I feel when I can’t have my time to daydream in private. My anxiety and panic during times of change/transition. My rewatching the same movies for comfort rather than watching new ones. My obsessive researching. My stimming. My difficulty with and having to teach myself how to offer and receive physical touch in relationships. The list goes on.
I have beaten myself up since I can remember for “what’s wrong with me.” I have internalized all of it, going from therapist to therapist, picking apart every small and big trauma, thinking I could just fix the way I seem to be wired with enough hard work. I’ve learned really good skills along the way and have somehow managed to mask enough to be extremely successful professionally, but I’ve clawed my way here on my hands and knees.
I’m so tired. Chronically tired. I don’t know how to process that a formal diagnosis is probably coming soon - one that doesn’t have a “fix.” What’s kept me going all these years is believing that with enough work and healing, my struggles in this world would get better. I don’t know where to turn for community and support for all of this except here.
Are there some good books, podcasts, or other resources for adults on the autism spectrum you would recommend? I need some hope and connection.

Hey!! I’m super new to crochet only been doing it for a couples months on and off while doing exams! I’d really like to make a tote bag for the summer but I can’t read patterns that well at the moment so was wondering if you guys had any recommendations for easy bags to make that have video tutorial to go along with them! Many thank yous in advance!

(ALL NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED)
Lisa (21f) and I (21f) have been best friends since childhood and have grown into adulthood together. She started dating her boyfriend, George (23m), over three years ago and I honestly never really liked him but I never told her that. I just wanted to support her because she was happy.
Recently, I found out through a mutual friend, Emma (23f), that George had asked her some really weird stuff over text two years ago. He had told her sexual fantasies he had of her and asked if she’s a virgin or if she’s touched herself. It was really gross and invasive. Emma and George were in this big friend group that stems from a religious youth group community. After those texts, Emma had told their friends about it and all of George’s friends cut him off. She also tried to get help through the youth group’s organizers who ended up brushing her off. Word got to George’s parents and siblings and they did nothing about it because they care too much about their family’s reputation in the community and they were just happy he could find a girlfriend.
Emma ended up telling me about this when we had gotten closer this year. She didn’t have support from anyone in this community who would back her up upon telling Lisa. The instant I found out, I had to tell Lisa. I couldn’t believe no one had told her in the two years since it had happened. Emma and I devised a plan to break the news to Lisa with another close friend of Lisa’s.
We tried our best to make it not feel like we were ganging up on her and we tried to find a safe space to do it in so she could feel supported. She was obviously in shock and quite distraught upon finding out. It was like a 2 hour kind of hug session where we just held her and talked to her about it all.
Later that night, George sent Emma an apology that literally said “I’m sorry for making you feel like you were being harassed” and said stuff about how he doesn’t want it to look like he’s that kind of person. BS apology in my opinion. Textbook level gaslighting.
The next day, I went to go check on Lisa. She came out and hugged me thanking me for being such a good friend. But then she said… “but I’ve made my decision and I’m staying with him.” Not only that, but she said she’s going to have to end our friendship too bc she can’t see both of those relationships co-existing. I’m her closest friend in the world. Best friends since childhood. I know her better than anyone. This is insane. From my pov, he has this strange control over her disguised as love. I think he’s been manipulating her all these years and now he’s winning as she cuts off all of her friends.
I asked her what George thought about her leaving her friends and he told her “do whatever you have to do”. He showed no concern about his girlfriend losing any outside support system other than him. That’s not something a partner should just accept like that. She’s told me that he is possessive of her. Every time we have every hung out he always calls her and she kind of stiffens up and goes to another room to speak to him privately. She’s told me before that she felt like she was playing therapist when he lost all his friends for no reason (except now we know the reason), and that it was really hard on her. All these things I’ve noticed about their relationship are all making sense now. The night that we had told her the news, Emma had seen Lisa’s phone light up with about 100 messages from George, and that was before he even knew what was happening. And again, the fact that he basically sexually harassed her friend should be enough reason for them to break up. He basically tried to cheat on Lisa but wasn’t good enough at it because Emma is actually a good person. Above all, he seems controlling and I am worried for her safety. I don’t know what to do.
I am even more concerned that it was so easy for her to just dump all of her friends for a boy. She is not that kind of person. This is her first relationship, the first guy who’s ever liked her. She’s always been a hopeless romantic and loves being in love but I think she’s so blinded by her optimism that she can’t see the danger she’s in. Every since the start, I felt weird about their relationship but didn’t know why. Now I know why. What should I do to help her? I need all the advice I can get.
TLDR; Best friend’s bf harassed her other friend over text years ago. He has also been controlling throughout their relationship. When best friend found out what happened, she cut off all of her friends instead of her bf. I’m worried for her safety in this relationship.

First off, let me say that I am NOT in the demographic that goes to Taylor Swift concerts. I’m a middle-aged dad who took his daughter to Chicago to check out the show. I also happen to be a musician who has played on stage over twenty years semi-professionally, so I know a thing or two about performance. Taylor Swift is, hands down, the GOAT. I have been to and seen many concerts and shows in various arenas, and Friday night at Soldier Field had to be the best concert experience of my life. She went for 46 songs without a break (she did two more songs for us than normal apparently…as a drummer, I would have had to tap out at 25 songs), changed outfits 28 times, had ten different themes for each album, and switched instruments throughout the show, to say nothing of her dancing. She filled up every corner of that stadium. She was radiant. The crowd was on her side, and she was there for them (it was the start of pride month, and a gay couple a few rows over proposed…I believe they said “yes”:) Technically, the show was brilliant. I have never in my life seen better audio/visual integration and lighting, not to mention the pyrotechnics. Through it all, she never tired or lost her edge. She was as fresh by the end of Karma as she was at the start of Shake it Off. Not quite sure how she pulled off that dive trick from one end of the stage to the other, but that was crazy. The way she incorporated the incredible digital screen displays with physical reality defied my senses. It wasn’t a show, and it wasn’t a movie or a musical; it was something else, some new kind of 4D experience that creates an emotional resonance beyond the music. And the fans? You are the best people on the earth. You were kind to my daughter, lifting her up to get a better look at the merchandise and giving her friendship bracelets, even though you didn’t know her. There was a massive, scary crush as people tried to get out of the stadium complex, but at no time did I feel rushed or that we would be trampled. Everyone was just…happy. So, to all the haters and critics: see her live. There is no lip syncing or fakery. She is the real deal and I would see her in concert again.
Edit: I thought they wouldn’t let me post this here so I copied and made it a comment on the Chicago show thread. Sorry for the duplication.

And no, I'm not saying the game is against me, I benefit from it just as often as not. But you can usually tell the way a game is going to go in the first few rolls. Example: player one rolls 7 vs 5, loses one army. Player two rolls 5 vs 1, loses 4 and gains no ground. Then the bot takes it's turn and instead of taking a clear, easy path against player one, takes out a 3 stack against player two for absolutely no tactical advantage whatsoever. And it will go like this for the entire match almost every time.
I know most of you play multiplayer games with capitals, and I'm not sure what your experiences are, but I exclusively play 1vs1+ a bot strictly because I just want a quick game. I don't have an hour plus to invest in a match.
Anyway, I know strange rolls will happen. This isn't that, it's a definitive pattern and there's no reason for it. /rant

I desperately need advice.
I F(26) am more than 3 years in a relationship with my boyfriend M(26). The usual - everything is great - BUT: i cannot stand his female best friend Jenny F(26).
They are best friends since university at their home country and their friendship actually started with my bf asking Jenny for her number. She was in a relationship at a time, but their friendship flourished. At the time, he told me, she was his “benchmark” for a girlfriend, as he did not have that many serious relationships before. At one instance, on a drunken night, he even referred to marriage with her one day if they are both single.
Now, i knew all of this before we got together and i accepted it. I did not draw many boundaries because i also have male friends. Back then they would video call every week (we live in a different country) and so on. For context, me and Jenny have also never met and that never bothered me until now. So, only in the past 6 months where i notice her ill intentions have started bothering me. She would send a reel of a cringe girl and tell my boyfriend that i should film myself like that. Or, when he posted a photo of the two of us from a conference i worked at for my job, she replied to the story as “hahaha is she wearing heels xd”, and many small seemingly innocent and not-large-enough to be a dealbreaker type of comments. She has never had any nice words nor does she ever react nicely to something about the two of us, which on the contrary all of my male friends are super accepting and very kind to my boyfriend.
TLDR: i am at a stage where this opposite sex friendship makes me extremely uncomfortable and i already communicated this to my bf, where he assures me theres nothing to worry, however, what are some boundaries that can be established in opposite sex friendships that would easy one’s mind?

I desperately need advice.
I F(26) am more than 3 years in a relationship with my boyfriend M(26). The usual - everything is great - BUT: i cannot stand his female best friend Jenny F(26).
They are best friends since university at their home country and their friendship actually started with my bf asking Jenny for her number. She was in a relationship at a time, but their friendship flourished. At the time, he told me, she was his “benchmark” for a girlfriend, as he did not have that many serious relationships before. At one instance, on a drunken night, he even referred to marriage with her one day if they are both single.
Now, i knew all of this before we got together and i accepted it. I did not draw many boundaries because i also have male friends. Back then they would video call every week (we live in a different country) and so on. For context, me and Jenny have also never met and that never bothered me until now. So, only in the past 6 months where i notice her ill intentions have started bothering me. She would send a reel of a cringe girl and tell my boyfriend that i should film myself like that. Or, when he posted a photo of the two of us from a conference i worked at for my job, she replied to the story as “hahaha is she wearing heels xd”, and many small seemingly innocent and not-large-enough to be a dealbreaker type of comments. She has never had any nice words nor does she ever react nicely to something about the two of us, which on the contrary all of my male friends are super accepting and very kind to my boyfriend.
TLDR: i am at a stage where this opposite sex friendship makes me extremely uncomfortable and i already communicated this to my bf, where he assures me theres nothing to worry, however, what are some boundaries that can be established in opposite sex friendships that would easy one’s mind?

I am a 30y/o female, living with my 35 y/o boyfriend. We've been together around 9 months.
We started our relationship instantly feeling a connection to each other and finding a comfort and familiarity in being together. We found so many similarities and just moments where we could read each others thoughts without even trying. It was truly eerie sometimes. I felt like i knew this person in a past life, and i had so many signs pointing to him. It was like someone wrote down my dream man since i was a little girl and here he was in front of my face.
We were both so happy with the love we found, and felt we were lucky to have this sort of once in a lifetime instant connection that not everyone would be lucky enough to find in there lifetime. We both had grown a lot in life before meeting each other and thought it was so great to find a person that really loved the other for who they were.
Early into the relationship I withheld some information about a friend. This friend i wasn't really close to in the moment, but he had been a good friend in my life for about 10years. Long story short one night early into the friendship we got drunk and hooked up, but we admitted it was stupid and just remained friends for those 10years. My now boyfriend found this out and was upset that i told him he had nothing to worry about with this man in my life. He felt lied to and betrayed, i understood where he was coming from but felt i didn't actually lie because he really didn't have to worry about this person at all. It was a drunken mistake from 10years ago and why start a new relationship bringing up the past that doesn't matter? On top of this situation, i was dating around before meeting my now boyfriend, but i was very open about this. Explained how long the relationships lasted, how traumatized i was by one of them being a total narcissist, and how i think i was struggling with being alone at the time (honestly it was only 2 guys but i went from one relationship to another and i felt like i looked easy or desperate at this time in my life). I wanted to be open because i wanted to lay my red flags out in my own words before it all came out and he jumped ship. He was definitely nervous in hearing all of these things about my past, he has higher standards and morals and didn't date often because he found comfort and peace in being alone and the life he had with his girls. He wanted to give things a shot between us because of the connection we had and the good qualities he saw in me, even though he probably wouldn't have dated me if he knew some of these things first because it would have been a turn off. I think he struggled even then with believing i was the woman for him, how could i be this wonderful person if i had these negative experiences in my past. He recognized it as doubts, but let them eat away at him instead of believing in me and himself (i don't think he ever thought he deserved to be happy so it changed how he perceived a lot of things).
Through our whole relationship so far we've fought every few weeks, usually i have a moment of selfishness where i don't think of his needs and he's afraid i don't really care about him. Every time he questions if we're right for each other and wants time and space to figure out if i can give him what he needs in a relationship. I try to understand his perspective, and truly feel i was being selfish most of the time. But we're different people and a situation that i don't think is wrong bothers him to the point that i should have known it would hurt him. I always understand what i did in retrospect, but i have a hard time putting myself in his shoes in the moment.
i try to put him first whenever i can, supporting his passions, helping with the kids and keeping our home clean, whatever little gesture i can give him in my everyday i try to make it a point to show him i care. I often over think and don't always show enough physical affection, which makes it all seem one sided. But we've talked about how i over think and get in my own way and i'm working on it.
Through all this i feel i am trying so hard to show i care and not be selfish when it means the most, but have repeat fights where i am blind sided by how i even could have hurt him because i think i'm being good the whole time. I hear him out and apologize, but after always apologizing and saying i'll try to be better in the moment instead of understanding after the fact, he' s definitely starting to feel like i'm just telling him what he wants to hear. He doesn't know if i can meet his needs, even if i'm trying and i love him, i might just not be capable.
Now i overthink even more because i don't want to make him mad. I want to give him space to process a fight but i don't want him to think that i don't care because i'm not being affectionate. I want him to see all of the things that i do everyday, instead of just those moments when i fuck up. I know that they seem to keep happening for him but i am not perfect and i can't change over night. They may still happen even if i'm trying, and he doesn't see the internal struggle and effort he just sees those moments when i hurt him.
I'm afraid to tell him that if he had a little perspective and understanding, he might not get so hurt by the selfish moments. I understand i'm the catalyst in something going wrong between us, but it turns into the end all moment of our relationship every time we fight because he's hurting and i caused it AGAIN. I feel like we start off in this battle we have to come down from, instead of starting off in a conversation about feelings and understanding.
I'm not sure what i'm trying to get out of this post, i'm just so sick of hurting the man i care about without even meaning to. I'm so hurt myself knowing that these moments where i screw up totally erase the moments where i show him i care and the connection we felt is definitely not the same as it was after all of this. He used to say no woman could show him the love that i do, and he's never felt so loved in his life. Now he doesn't say those things because we seem to be stuck in this cycle. I know i can help break the cycle by thinking of his feelings more in certain moments, but how do i get through to him that his part of the cycle is the lack of understanding of my perspective, just enough to see that its not that i don't care i just made a mistake? If he cut me a break sometimes and thought about the fact that i'm human and i care, he might not be so hurt thinking i can never change or that i'm hurting him on purpose. I feel like he's constantly believing his doubts instead of believing in me. I understand that after the same mistakes repeating themselves that doubt would surface, but i feel like he's just always expecting the worst from me. Does he even know me at all if he thinks my intentions are anything but pure? I feel like his first reaction is to assume the worst and i have to convince him of who i am and where i am coming from. I have doubts too but i don't act on them, and i don't assume he's coming from a bad place when i misunderstand his side. I just wish he could do the same. We're different people and i love him for all that he is, and all that he isn't. Even in those moments where he doubts and believes the worst in me, i try to understand where he's coming from and how his thoughts led him to that conclusion.
I know that deep down he must have some faith in what we have or he would have left a long time ago. But i don't know how much longer he will stay feeling hurt, i don't know how i keep hurting him with stupid mistakes, and i don't want to think that loving each other might not be enough to meet each others needs in this relationship. He said he's trying and he just needs time to get over being hurt and stop his thoughts from bringing him to a dark place. I understand, want to give him that space, and definitely don't want to make things harder. But in keeping my distance i fear i've already lost him and i'm just waiting for the floor to fall out from under me.
I feel like he doesn't think i can meet his needs, but he's just going through the motions. I'm afraid he's going to be lying to himself if he stays and that he'll never really have faith in me. I don't know how to get through to him, especially when he's valid in how hurt he feels because i screwed up. What if i truly can't meet his needs? What if i've always been too much for him and he's just been lying to himself? What if he never even liked me, just the idea of me that he had in his mind? I like to think that idea of me he has is the woman he fell in love with, but these moments of selfishness are genuine mistakes, and they convince him that i am something i'm not. I'm just lost and hanging on by a thread.

Not meaning buffs and nerfs, I mean a full on they need to have their whole kit remade. For me it's Antonio, Yes there's amazing Violinist mains who have scary accurate strings but, Idk I just feel like if you put him and Ripper next to each other and said "who's more likely to win" I would go for Ripper because while yes Foggy is aim based, at least he still has that foggy path to work with and he has the speed boost when invisible, missing a foggy is still redeemable but missing strings isn't, on top of that you can miss infinite movement if the surv stands in between the line indicators. I just feel like it's so easy to just never get hit by Violinist unless you're a god with him. I've only met one Violinist in rank who was so good I activated post chat and said that I hope they get an S badge, those strings were so good but that was pretty much the last time I met a Violinist who could land strings and basically didn't use standard attacks.
I just feel like with how much people love Antonio, you just don't see people play him because of the amount of skill he needs just to even tie. I really do think his kit needs some sort of rework; maybe that at max presence when you use Infinite Movement, instead of sending out a strait pattern of strings, the two notes of Sonata explode within a radius with each note explosion doing the equivalent of normal damage (thus getting hit by both notes will down you). I think Rhapsody should be reworked into something that is actually noticeable, ever since I started playing I seen people including myself use Rhapsody to see where survs are at, when I play survivor I don't feel any difference in terms of speed when doing things or running, Since people use Rhapsody to see where survs are at I think it should be remade to do that; When you use Rhapsody near survivors you can't see, the sounds of survivors will become more prominent and when you lose sight of a survivor while affected by Rhapsody, you can track their movements for a few seconds, Since I basically never play with the sound on I think that aside from sound indicators there should also be a buff displaying the current actions of survivors affected like if two survivors are crouching, a buff will show 2 stacks of a person crouching vice versa.

Hi Everyone, I’m a makeup lover majorly downsizing and would love these items to go to those that will get good use out of them.
Mods said I can send you links to my eBay feedback via PM so please feel free to ask if you'd like this. :)
· All my items are from a pet and smoke free home, are well looked after and have been stored in a cool dark place (drawers in my bedroom) and are now stored in a box, ready for posting.
· All products are full size unless otherwise stated.
· Items vary between swatched to lightly used unless otherwise stated. Batch codes available upon request.
· Dispatch within 3 working days of cleared payment via PayPal Goods and Services – I cover the fees.
· If I still have the original outer box (I often keep boxes) for any of the products, this will be included.
· Prices listed are for the product alone and do not include the shipping charge.
· All items sent within the UK will be sent 2nd Class Signed For (£4.69 for a small parcel and £3.55 if I can send as a large letter in a padded envelope). All items will be well packaged to protect them.
· If you would like multiple items and the total is over £50 this would need to be sent Next Day by 1pm for £10.
· If you are an international buyer, please state your location and I’ll get back to you with a quote for the shipping charge but please expect this to be £15-25 as I send all packages tracked with the correct insurance.
· Any questions, just send let me know and I’ll get back to you asap.
Will offer further discount if you take 3 or more items off my hands!
Thanks for looking!
Chanel:
Chanel Baume Essentia in Transparent £23.00 https://imgur.com/jDbxNMZ
Hourglass:
Ambient Lighting blush in Diffused Heat £23 https://imgur.com/nPjS31R
Ambient Strobe Lighting Blush in Euphoric Fusion £30.00 https://imgur.com/URQTSIh
Ambient Strobe Lighting Blush in Brilliant Nude £30.00 https://imgur.com/ml1Xvpt
Charlotte Tilbury:
Cheek To Chic Swish & Pop Blusher in The Climax £21.00 https://imgur.com/dw62cfE
The Super Nudes Easy Eyeshadow Palette £35.00 https://imgur.com/P1TBsL6
Instant Look In A Palette in Gorgeous, Glowing Beauty £38.00 https://imgur.com/tTFcOpI
Unisex Healthy Glow All-Year Hydrating Summer Tint Moisturiser £28.00 https://imgur.com/1Ixdp8s
Luxury Eyeshadow Palette in The Glamour Muse £28.00 https://imgur.com/UMdXoV4
Beach Stick Lip to Cheek in Las Salinas £25.00 https://imgur.com/lAtlIDo
Colour Chameleon in Champagne Diamonds – Barely used but nib seems to be more inside (never sharpened) so will need sharpening. £10.00 https://imgur.com/WAL7cwb
Eyes to Mesmerise in Veruschka £20 https://imgur.com/PN360SQ
Eyes to Mesmerise in Star Gold £18 https://imgur.com/yc9VBkj
Bar Of Gold Palette £35 https://imgur.com/mNdnVAv
Glowing, Pretty Skin Palette £35 https://imgur.com/RgjH84L
X Norma Parkinson Filmstar Bronze & Glow Sun Tan & Sun Light £30 https://imgur.com/LI0kzWS
X Norma Parkinson Colour of Youth Healthy, Happy Lip & Cheek Glow £25 https://imgur.com/fGh5lqO
Bronze & Blush Glow £35 https://imgur.com/FaXu1xu
Instant Look in a Palette in Stoned Rose Beauty £35.00 https://imgur.com/dcULfQL
Luxury Palette in Green Lights £28 https://imgur.com/X7417qS
Luxury Palette in Pillow Talk £28 https://imgur.com/w9y1X33
Luxury Palette of Pops in Celestial Eyes £30 https://imgur.com/X38I9P8
Luxury Palette of Pops in Pillow Talk £30 https://imgur.com/1a6Y8By
Luxury Palette in The Vintage Vamp £28.00 https://imgur.com/dBak99Y
Cheek to Chic Swish & Pop Blusher in Love Is The Drug £21 https://imgur.com/0xnTZBq
Laura Mercier:
Laura Mercier Matte Radiance Baked Powder Bronzer in Bronze-03 £23.00 https://imgur.com/X76ixeD
Laura Mercier Lip Pencil in Chestnut £14.00 https://imgur.com/qtnXzxB
Face Illuminator in Affection £28.00 https://imgur.com/yJ7PX0d
Face Illuminator in Devotion £25.00 https://imgur.com/HUQqd47
Laura Mercier Amaretto Swirl £12.00 https://imgur.com/PwQHTub
Laura Mercier Vibe £12.00 https://imgur.com/ANiNiXc
Caviar Stick Eye Colour in Burnished Bronze £16.00 https://imgur.com/Sq39EtY
Caviar Stick Eye Colour in Metallic Taupe £16.00 https://imgur.com/bpjlQmR
Tom Ford:
Emotionproof Eye Color in Casino £25 https://imgur.com/h4OUNMv
Emotionproof Eye Color in Brut Rose £25 https://imgur.com/BHL2fSh
Eye Color Quad in 13 Orchid Haze £45 https://imgur.com/v7628qH
Eye Color Quad in 01 Golden Mink £45 https://imgur.com/Hf41wBa
Private Shadow in 01 Body Double Vinyl £20 https://imgur.com/SxtG047
Private Shadow in 04 Iris Bronze Sateen £20.00 https://imgur.com/OwFUCuV
Sheer Cheek Duo in 05 Lissome (Used once but please note this is damaged: the two shades fall out of the pans if tipped upside down – they would need to be glued down if you plan on taking this out and about.) £30 https://imgur.com/KUsUk3e
Dior:
Diorshow mono in 658 Cosmopolite £18 https://imgur.com/6WzBh6V
Bobbi Brown:
Ulla Johnson Eye Palette in Minou £25.00 https://imgur.com/VZVqyYw
Lorac:
Unzipped Eyeshadow Palette £30.00 https://imgur.com/XFM0tFb
Benefit:
Dandelion Twinkle (mini 1.5g) £6.00 https://imgur.com/riLhNaY
By Terry:
Compact-Expert Dual Powder in 7. Sun Desire £30 https://imgur.com/Z0Cq1pp
Viseart:
Theory in Cashmere £30 https://imgur.com/QFiFgtg
Marc Jacobs:
Eye-Conic Eyeshadow Palette in Steel(etto) £35: https://imgur.com/sv3K75r
Spotlight Glow Stick £25 https://imgur.com/4lkDJ5f
Le Marc Lip Crème in 228 Infamous £10 https://imgur.com/DdU2Iy7
Burberry:
Nude Radiance No.01 Fresh Glow Luminous Fluid Base £25 https://imgur.com/JrzwAYN
Fresh Glow Highlighter in White No.01 £25 https://imgur.com/AItL9Dt
NARS:
Blush in Torrid £18.00 https://imgur.com/TQSEaPk
Blush in Liberte £18.00 https://imgur.com/diO7MlV
Cruising lipstick £8.00 https://imgur.com/6L9egoG
Rosecliff lipstick £8.00 (please be aware this one seems to smudge on the side in the tube when rolled up – see pic) https://imgur.com/xWyvOfm
Riot lip pencil £8.00 https://imgur.com/fM6ojlm
Skin Deep Palette £35 https://imgur.com/SnncRIp
Blush in Amour £18 https://imgur.com/5QaOSZK
Audacious Anna £8.00 https://imgur.com/AY8dmi3
Velvet Matte Lip Pencil in Red Square £8.00 https://imgur.com/f4H6L01
Velvet Matte Lip Pencil in Rebel £8.00 https://imgur.com/dU3PzJ1
Velvet Matte Lip Pencil in Dragon Girl £8.00 https://imgur.com/56EfMMV
Man Ray The Veil Cheek Palette £25 https://imgur.com/1MeDyj7
Paloma Contour Duo £23.00 https://imgur.com/G31JEaO
Hammamet Eyeshadow Duo £15 https://imgur.com/qyVtVCE
Isolde Eyeshadow Duo £15 https://imgur.com/yICbjTc
Natasha Denona:
Camel Palette £30 https://imgur.com/nKP0eyc
Glam Palette £50.00 https://imgur.com/Zh7SBa5
Guerlain:
Terracotta Limited Edition Bronzer £35.00 https://imgur.com/JgC1P43
Terracotta Sun Trio Bronzing and Contouring Palette in Clair – Light £30.00 https://imgur.com/wcrk5vo
Too Faced:
Natural Love Ultimate Neutral Eyeshadow Collection Limited Edition £50.00 https://imgur.com/XZedaEe
Too Faced Natural Eyes £30: https://imgur.com/c4MCJsI
Born This Way The Natural Nudes £25 https://imgur.com/Nm1r4bE
Milk Chocolate Soleil Light?medium Matte Bronzer £18 https://imgur.com/jvX26dG
Too Faced Mini Love Flush 16-Hour Blush in Crazy in Love 2g £4.00 https://imgur.com/9tvRigE
Too Faced Mini Love Flush 16-Hour Blush in Dream Lover 2g £4.00 https://imgur.com/8q4smuT
MAC:
MAC Mineralize Blush in Naturally Flawless £18.00 https://imgur.com/1PcLxf2
Single eyeshadow in Satin Taupe £10.00 https://imgur.com/DohGoWC
Nutcracker Sweet Peach Face Compact Tutu (highlighter) and At Dusk (blush) £25.00 https://imgur.com/uw8vOOu
Lip Pencil in Subculture £8.00 https://imgur.com/B2eJjgi
Dusky Rose Times Nine £18 https://imgur.com/WZqEBPL
Satin Lipstick in Faux £10 https://imgur.com/zrvLb3K
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Satin Lipstick in Brave £10 https://imgur.com/WrbOnCy
Liptensity in Driftwood £12 https://imgur.com/AmTyk9N
Veluxe Pearl Eyeshadow in All That Glitters £10 https://imgur.com/tkYEVQL
Veluxe Pearl Eyeshadow in Woodwinked £10 https://imgur.com/6Ju1Xca
Nutcracker Sweet Copper Face Compact in Whisper of Gilt and Pleasure Model £25.00 https://imgur.com/p6bkpes
Clinique:
01 Hefty Highlight £10 https://imgur.com/DugNJOH
Buxom:
Buxom May Contain Nudity £25 https://imgur.com/IgZymun
Tarte:
Tartelette Tease (please note this arrived with one shade damaged) £10 https://imgur.com/cAf77dN
Tarteist Pro To Go £18 https://imgur.com/qmOGt4W
Mermaid Kisses Mini Lipstick in Sandals £4 https://imgur.com/BKwpJjo
Amazonian Clay 12-Hour Blush in Dazzled £20 https://imgur.com/TRJZW5i
Maneater Eyeshadow Palette £12 https://imgur.com/MdqOZjg
Amazon clay eye & cheek palette, be your own tarteist £23 https://imgur.com/LoT74Va
Amazon clay eye & cheek palette, miracles of the Amazon £23 https://imgur.com/pMRQ81B
Mini Amazonian Clay Matte Waterproof Bronzer in Hotel Heiress 2.2g £5.00 https://imgur.com/jncXcvm
Becca
Mineral Blush in Flowerchild £28.00 https://imgur.com/I3xk5PF
Lipstick in Sugar £12.00 https://imgur.com/4cP6zfl
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Shimmering Skin Perfector Pressed Champagne Pop £18 https://imgur.com/hg81MeW
Ombre Nudes Eyeshadow Palette: £22 https://imgur.com/1o7zfx9
Kevyn Aucoin
The Pure Powder Glow Blush in Dolline £10 https://imgur.com/r4zdXM5
It Cosmetics:
Your Skin But Better CC+ Cream in Fair (mini 4ml) £6 https://imgur.com/qFkaQMy
Morphe:
35O Palette £12.00 https://imgur.com/aXHkX8U
Milani:
Milani Naturally Chic £3.00 https://imgur.com/sm4sehq
Everyday Eyes Collection 02 Bare Necessities £3 **(**Please note one shade arrived shattered when I received it). https://imgur.com/8rHsj0P
Colour Statement Moisture Matte Lipstick in 61 Naked £3 https://imgur.com/rzfOruY
Zoeva:
Zoeva Naturally Yours Eyeshadow Palette £13.00 https://imgur.com/xRBNMKf
Caramel Melange Eyeshadow Palette £13.00 https://imgur.com/39Zivoq
Cocoa Blend Eyeshadow Palette £13.00 https://imgur.com/5ibgQGn
Violet Voss:
Holy Grail Palette £22.00 https://imgur.com/FkfWVnf
Urban Decay:
Naked 3 Eyeshadow Palette £30.00 https://imgur.com/XujVYyU
Single Eyeshadow in Diamond Dog £20.00 https://imgur.com/T2XoEwv
Afterglow 8-Hour Powder Blush in Fetish £16.00 https://imgur.com/cEamNe2
Afterglow 8-Hour Powder Blush in Score £16.00 https://imgur.com/WatD1SF
Lipstick in Naked £6.00 https://imgur.com/jugqlFX
​
24/7 Glide-On Lip Pencil in 69 £4.00 – Please note this is barely used but sharpens unstably https://imgur.com/7VgaIuo
Naked Heat Eyeshadow Palette £28.00 https://imgur.com/bflPEFr
​
Afterglow 8-Hour Powder Blush in Rapture £16 https://imgur.com/Vqfj5dy
Lancome:
Star Bronzer in 03 Naturel Bronze £15 https://imgur.com/CXUH1ye
Elizabeth Arden:
Eyeshadow Palette £12.00 https://imgur.com/ZlqeALh
Eyeshadow Palette Browns £12.00 https://imgur.com/f2fvWKZ
Blush and Highlighter Trio £15.00 https://imgur.com/fJ25kAQ
Elizabeth Arden Melon £8.00 https://imgur.com/fI0VFDL
Elizabeth Arden Pink Pucker £8.00 https://imgur.com/FRm9nz0
​
Elizabeth Arden Bold Red £8.00 https://imgur.com/hx0lbG2
Ted Baker:
Eyeshadow Trio £3.00 https://imgur.com/6c67YFh
New Look:
Pure Colour Eyeshadow Palette in 29 Brown Pattern £3 https://imgur.com/yFPr4us
Sleek:
Blush in Antique £3 https://imgur.com/gEMPmYh
​
Maybelline:
Colorsenational Lip Liner in 140 Intense Pink £2.00 https://imgur.com/ZBRigDS
​
GOSH:
Smokey Eyes Palette in 02 Brown £3.00 https://imgur.com/pNrm7ig
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BareMinerals:
Complexion Rescue in Vanilla 02 £20.00 https://imgur.com/tqDLuhH
​
Kat Von D:
Kat Von D Shade and Light Eye Contour Palette £35.00 https://imgur.com/RbIdW83