05/14 Anxiety: It’s been a week since the onset currently at work right now I feel nauseous I threw up a little but there wasn’t much in my stomach to throw up. I’m feeling on edge like anything can send me spiraling into complete panic. Today’s symptoms are: Nausea Feeling on edge Trouble concentrating Can’t eat Fatigue No energy to do anything * I feel like I’m able to control it better than last time but it still feels debilitating at points. * Be kind to myself this will pass. * I’m hoping to start my Zoloft tomorrow and that will provide some help eventually. (Won’t be here until Tuesday) * Today has been better but it’s been a struggle trying to keep composure I sat in the break room all day at work. * Today is Mother’s Day and I can’t even enjoy it I just feel “numb”.
05/16 day 1 First day taking Zoloft again: I was terrified of taking it due to side effects. I hope they’re not too bad I can’t remember the ones from last time I just know I had some. I’m hoping this anxiety passes fast it tends to be so much worse at work like unbearable but I have no choice but to work because I have bills to pay unfortunately I think my manager makes work so much harder as she is not very understanding even though she just went through something similar and needed to take a month off of work. (Must be nice) everyone else is understanding of my situation which is great. I have 0 motivation or energy to do anything which I hate because I am normally so motivated to do everything 😕 but this shall pass again and I’ll look back at it as an accomplishment that I got through it not only once but TWICE 🫶🏻 Things to remember: Be kind to myself This will pass I have so much stuff to be grateful for. This is just a bump in the road. Medicine dosage: Zoloft 25 mg day 1 Took medicine around 2-3 pm I’m now feeling out of it and very bad anxiety I just want this to end this is so overwhelming to me I have no clue how I will be able to work while feeling like this.
05/17 day 2 Currently midnight and I’m feeling fine it’s as if it completely goes away at night. I wish I knew why and how to make it go away during the day. Tomorrow’s another day! Hopefully it’s a good one. I had to cancel malcs dentist appointment because of my anxiety issues which I feel really guilty about. I woke up with extreme anxiety and nausea I can tell it’s going to be a long road ahead.
5/19 day 3 Had an anxiety filled morning but mellowed out in the afternoon.
05/20 day 4 Had a good morning had bits and pieces of anxiety staying optimistic it will subside completely ❤️
05/21 (day 1 50 mg) day 5 I’ve been doing “okay” I’ve felt anxious throughout the day but not as bad as it has been I was able to shower, wash my hair , shave. I also started 50mg today I felt some pressure in my head after taking it but it went away about an hr or so after. Staying optimistic ❤️ I’ve noticed mornings are the worst and by 3-4 pm I’m okay.
05/22 day 6 Woke up anxious and nauseated have a slight headache. Last night I felt like I didn’t get the best sleep so I started taking my dose in the am. Day 6 total day 2 on 50mg.
05/23 day 7 Last night and today have been pretty bad I woke up with complete anxiety and nausea I’m so over it all. I just want to feel normal again this is so draining. Today marks a week since I started taking Zoloft. Haven’t eaten a meal in 3 weeks I can’t keep losing weight 😭.
05/24 day 8 Last night was pretty ok I was able to eat 3 tacos and 2 Oreos (the most I’ve eaten in 3 weeks) this morning was “ehh” it’s now 12:00 pm and I’m feeling better so I’m optimistic it’s kind of starting to work 🤞🏻hoping I feel well enough to go to the pool to get out of the house. •3:00 pm didn’t end up going to the pool the anxiety has come back I was hoping to have a good day but doesn’t look as if.
05/25 (day 9) Woke up with anxiety I had to take malc to a dr appointment which was hard then pushed myself to go to student assignment and get malc into school for this august( he got into the school I wanted) then met up with my brother for lunch I tried to eat but couldn’t I had anxiety the whole time we were out. I really just want this to get better I feel so defeated I wouldn’t wish this upon anyone. Patiently waiting for this medicine to work❤️ I go back to work tomorrow not looking forward to it but I’ll push through.
05/26 day 10 First day back to work after a week off. Woke up this morning with the usual morning anxiety and bits and pieces of anxiety throughout the day nothing too bad definitely one of the better days I’ve had in 3 weeks.
05/27 day 11 Woke up nauseous idk if it’s from anxiety or not eating. I’m hoping today is a good day. Went to work at 3 started off with a little bit of anxiety but it was manageable. Around like 7 I had some anxiety as well that caused some “air hunger” which was very annoying. I was also able to eat 3 whole meals today!
5/28 day 12 I woke up not nauseous! So my nausea was probably related to not eating. I also didn’t wake up with crippling anxiety. I was able to sleep in. I woke up at 7 but was able to fall back asleep. Things are looking up! It’s exactly 4 weeks since my anxiety first started.
05/29 day 13 I woke up again not nauseous but had a little anxiety nothing like I normally have though. Anxiety back full force today it was Memorial Day and we went to the pool felt anxious the whole time.
05/30 day 14 Woke up really nauseous also had anxiety. Went to work had anxiety there but was manageable. This air hunger is really starting to get to me though.
05/31 day 15 Had a pretty good day minimum anxiety other than the breathing thing again.
06/01 day 16 Woke up nauseous again but got better a few hrs into the day took malc to get his haircut. I really do feel like things are looking up. I was fine at work for the most part I had minor anxiety for about 30 mins but once I got home I was fine and able to eat dinner.
06/02 day 17 Woke up with morning anxiety but no nausea. I had to call off my morning shift at work because working 13 hrs today I don’t think I could have done it.
06/03 day 18 Woke up nauseous and a little anxious went to a graduation felt ”meh”. I see little improvements which is a good sign. I work 4-10 work was fine just had the “ air hunger” which idk why I’m still getting because my anxiety seems to be a lot better.
06/04 day 19 Woke up with slight anxiety and nausea. Had a really good day! Was able to have dinner at a restaurant.
06/05 day 20 Woke up feeling great best I’ve had so far since starting medication. Had some air hunger i really wish it would go away it’s literally the most annoying symptom of anxiety 😭
06/06 day 21 Officially the start of week 4 I’ve had some good days but there’s definitely room for improvement. I woke up anxious today hoping it doesn’t last all day.

I have pretty bad airdodge habits that I've been getting punished because of really really hard. I have slight roll 0os habits because I don't know how to utilize 0os options other than U-smash and roll (not counting U-special because PP has a garbage U-special 0os) and probably a couple other much smaller habits if I were to look through my gameplay. Any clue how to break/replace them?

I often see waywards asking for advice on what to do to help their betrayed partner heal and as I'm currently going through whats looking like failed R, I said I'd give my 2cents worth.
Be honest with yourself first and foremost. Even before you're honest with your BS. Ask yourself, are you really willing to do the hard work?? Not the somewhat hard work, or the little bit uncomfortable work. Are you willing to go to the darkest parts of your mind and your character to discover why you did what you did. Because if you're not, then it's just not worth it in my opinion.
I say this as a BP whose wayward partner only kinda did the work. He's done a lot of good things and improved his behaviour in many ways but In my opinion he hasn't done any kind of soul searching or uncomfortable Introspection. In fact, he still runs from it like its the plague.
He didn't read any books or listen to any infidelity podcasts or anything like that. I doubt he knows the meaning of any of the words we're all so familiar with like limerance, PISD/PTSD, trickle truthing, disclosure, D-day etc etc. I don't want to totally critisise him but a lot of what he did was superficial, surface level work and that's not going to cut it unfortunately. Maybe in the short term but definitely not long term.
And it's because of these superficial gestures that I convinced myself for so long that R was going well. But deep down I knew it wasn't enough. And I can't wait forever for him to figure it out.
He did a lot right but not nearly enough. Im a mess right now, trying to accept that after 2 years of R, he didn't really care. I'm sure in his naivety, he probably thinks he has done everything in his power but realistically he hasn't a clue. How could he know when he never bothered to research anything, when he doesn't understand the process. I honestly feel like a fool. I feel like my good nature was used against me and once again I was pushed into second place, but not for the AP this time but for him. Rather than allow himself to be uncomfortable and vulnerable he'd rather rug sweep and allow me to suffer every single day. Its that kind of selfishness that allowed him to act out in the first place.
I'll stop ranting now but I just wanted to say this in the hope I might get through to some waywards that are reading.
My advice would be to research the topic of infidelity until you're blue in the face. It was my own research that made me consider R in the first place and it has opened my eyes up hugely to all the different kinds of relationship problems and issues there are out there. If I ever do find a new partner, I think I'll be much better equipped for that relationship because of what I learned through this experience. Use your cheating as an opportunity for growth because if you don't then your actions truly were destructive and of no benefit to anyone.
Follow the advice of the experts and allow yourself to be vulnerable. Nobody likes this feeling and it can even be embarrassing but I'm telling you now, the feeling of discomfort will never come close to what your BS is going through.
And just like I said at the start of this post, if you're not interested in going to a place of true honesty and self reflection then you're just deceiving your partner even more than you already have. Worst of all you're deceiving yourself and throwing away a valuable opportunity for growth. If you can't be vulnerable when your spouse or partner is about to leave you forever, then when will you be? When will the time be right?? On your death bed???
I hope this doesnt come across as an attack on waywards. I think all of us are complex and flawed human beings that make mistakes and treat others badly to varying degrees. I never cheated on anyone but id be lying if I said I'd never wronged another person In my life.. It's how you improve yourself in spite of these mistakes that matters in my opinion.

As a cis-het dude (probably) I hear the word "confidence" getting tossed around a lot. Needing to be confident. Needing to exude confidence. And with that comes the micromanagement of my smile, my body, whether to hold hands, when to offer a physical embrace, etc. Because that's what we're expected to do: be confident. Make the other person feel safe.
I've always rankled at this arms-race of confidence, and now I think I understand why. Being confident helps my potential partner feel safe, but what good does that do when I don't feel safe with them?
Looking back, I have hardly ever felt safe or secure with the women I've dated. There's always been an uncomfortable distance. A coldness. Or maybe not coldness, but an air of tension. As if they keep waiting for me to give them something without offering any clues. And I keep trying to perform (often overperform) with humor or forced enthusiasm, resulting in either A) my dates leaving early or B) radio silence after the fact. The end result is a bad date, not specifically because nothing came of it, but because I end up a nervous wreck, which in turn feeds my self-loathing issues. All because I spend 99% of the date in a state of utter panic or despair.
Take my last date. I had been talking to this person online for a while, but when we met up things were different. We hugged, but it didn't feel right. She kept looking at me as if expecting something, but I couldn't figure out what. Any jokes or levity I attempted to inject into the date fell flat, or were answered with what felt like jabs at my expense (really it was at the expense of Capitalism or the art world or whatever, but still). She ended up leaving early, which was honestly for the best, and I felt horrible for days after.
Now let's look at a counterexample. Because yes, sometimes my dates do go well. I met a woman at a friend's party, and she had the best sense of humor. Apparently she thought I was cute, because she asked a mutual friend for my contact info. Our first date was great, because everything she did put me at ease. We listened to music in my car, we constantly made dirty jokes while at the zoo, we improvised when a museum we had wanted to visit was packed, and the whole experience made me feel good. You could say "hey dumbass, the difference is that she actually liked you." But it was more than that. I could be confident around her, because she made an effort to make me feel safe. We went out a few times after that, and no, a relationship didn't happen. But at least we had fun. At least I think about that experience with fondness rather than anxiety or sorrow.
I guess my point is, I need to stop seeing dating as a confidence game. Because it's not, at least for me. I need someone who makes me feel safe. And I have to wonder how many other dudes (or non cis-het women/non-binary folk) feel the same way, but either live in denial or have become accustomed to not being heard.

Since DDay (May 1st), I feel like I have had constant whiplash. I told him I needed some space to think and heal. I never would have expected this in our first year of marriage.
It truly has been a series of just finding one thing after another with him. All. Month. Long. He has been driving me insane. It’s still lies after lies repeatedly since I caught him watching porn. First it was how much he watched - turns out he’s VERY addicted. Then it was what he watched. Next it was him being an alcoholic and addicted to nicotine (which I’m HIGHLY against the bc of my lung history/hospitalizations). Sunday, in the middle of a restaurant on the first good day we’ve had, he he said he “may” have student loans. How do you just not know? He did know, and he lied to me about it before we got married. These student loans are from the time he decided to watch porn and play games all day instead of doing his schoolwork. He has passed two classes since last May. We started at the same time. I just graduated, and he’s 25% done. Our plan was for him to finish this year, and I would go to grad school..I feel stupid for waiting on him to go. I shouldn’t have trusted his word.
It’s not like we didn’t have these conversations before we got married. We’ve talked about all of these things multiple times for years. We even had premarital counseling over a year before we got married and continued with it up until February. He did not bring up any of his issues. I feel like I have no clue who he actually is.
After finding about the loans, I told him I needed some space. It’s hard to heal when the person you go to for comfort is the one that is hurting you. He’s at his parents rn, and I said it would be a week minimum. However, I think I’m going to need much longer than this.

I’ve been cheated on MANY times in the past. I’ve been in a relationship for 3 years; and I don’t ever see anything on his phone but I have a feeling. And because in the past I would have random people coming to me saying my ex was texting them on Snapchat, but I knew he didn’t have them on Snapchat? For a year of my life my ex had a fake Snapchat behind my back. Nudes all over it. Nothing but 100s of other girls. I had no clue.
Now I have such a hard time trusting again I guess? And before I got with my current bf I stayed single for a year. To heal from that all. And I thought I was. Until I caught feelings. Now for the last 3 years he’s reassured me several times.
But I have caught him in a few lies. Most of the time when confronting a cheater you have to literally have visual proof or they’ll deny deny deny.
What are ways on IPhone that a cheater might not be familiar with that I am able to see what they do behind my back?
Let me be clear, though I am interested in type of porn my partner watches I don’t mind if he does, I just want to make sure it’s not completely illegal crap or something lol.

Everything was dark, what had just happened? Was there a blackout in your room? No no, you weren’t in your room, you were outside just playing with your younger sibling….sword fighting. They wanted to take part in some class at their school or something. It’s all a blur, now here you are in the pitch black not knowing anything. Thinking hard you remember that some of the things you read and watch start like this. How people are brought to other worlds and made heroes! That’s it, that must be it, there should be a god or goddess any moment now to grant you- THUD
Power…..well that didn’t go to plan and now you seem to be on the roof of a medieval like house in a large city. Might be a good idea to get down before falling off or someone attacking you. Searching for clues to why you are suddenly in this strange world would be a good start. Hopefully all answers will be good
So as you can tell this is an isekai plot, but things seem to a little, well odd that’s for sure. No god or goddess to grant some amazing power or even explain things, no sign of the person who brought your character to this world. Was this the tale of a soon to be hero? A misunderstanding? There was only going to be one way to find out and that was to ask around and hopefully get some answers. This will be a plot all about the growth of your character getting stronger, making allies and so on. So don’t expect to be overpowered right at the start, but don’t worry, that day will come eventually. You do have a unique ability but that’s hush hush for now, more so because I have a selection which I’ll pick out based on how you answer some questions you’ll be given, this won’t just determine your power either. PLEASE give me your answers to the questions below when you chat or message me.
Question 1
You come face to face with an enemy, how do you deal with them?
Question 2
You want to get a new weapon for yourself. What do you decide to get?
Question 3
A blacksmith, a potion maker and a seamstress offers you a job. Which do you take, if any?
If you have any questions yourself feel free to leave a comment or add it along with your chat or message. Oh and I should mention that your character is completely up to you. Name, gender, appearance and so on. It won’t be determined by the questions. Romance is optional so if you want it included please mention what pairings you are comfortable with. That’s all, see you later!

I've been a longtime fan of DW and have run several campaigns. Over this time I have realised that what my players and I enjoy is not the collaborative world-building so much as the snowballing moves, the flavorful playbooks and the easy rules. Layer on top of that my players like me to have a plot - they love a plotted mystery to unravel!
So a lot of people might say we're playing the wrong game. I'm well aware of the dissonance between the ruleset and the kind of adventures we want to have. :)
My question is, do you think there's a better ruleset that could scratch our itch?
We have tried various OSR rulesets and while we tend to enjoy them, we've found they don't create story so fast, and we also live for that!
I feel like I want DW without the assumption (and moves) that mean the GM is "playing to find out" but most hacks seem to lean hard into / assume exactly that.

So i started dating a couple of months ago and things are going well. I have met his parents and mine know about him but he hasn't met them yet. See the thing is, i have severe commitment issues due to an avoidant attachment style. And usually don't go on dates and stuff like literally never. I don't exactly know what made me say yes when he asked me on a date but i dit it. He knows i have commitment issues and he knows he is my first relationship.
Now this is where it get hard for me. So we have been dating for 2 months and we are starting to introduce each other as the boyfriend/girlfriend. He has stated a couple of times now that he is in love with me/ has feelings for me. The thing is that i can't say it back. I don't really think i'm in love. or at least not yet, i like being with him and like to doe stuff with him but i'm holding myself back i think. I would love to just be able to let myself fall in love with him but i have no clue how? I feel so selfish for it because he is crazy about me and i would love to have the same feelings for him. I hope that the feelings will follow.
I also have the feeling that most of our conversations are just fun and not pretty deep. They are about our friends, work, other things but not like the serious talks or about our feelings in general. I'm not so great at initiating conversations like that but this might be what i need for things to get more serious in my head?
I kinda need advice, am i selfish for letting him catch feelings while i haven't (yet)?

I DID IT FINALLY
I BEAT GENICHIRO THOSE WHO HAS SEEN MY PREVIOUS POSTS ON GENICHIRO KNOW HOW HARD I WAS STRUGGLING
I had now gotten to a point where it wasn’t hard to beat him I knew his attack patterns I improved a lot with reading movement and subtle clues I had improved a lot in how to switch between offense and defense
His lighting was hard to reverse but today it clicked Everything clicked I was on my peak Every party was perfect deflect no blocks Every attack was connecting Every jump on his head every mikiri every dodge back Every lighting reversal It was surreal
It was perfect It took me 4 attempts today and in the 4th one I finally did it
I was so happy and excited and overwhelmed with emotions I was shivering and crying
It felt euphoric defeating him
Lady butterfly is next now
But I still wanna know something about the story
Now what do I do ? Up until now it was kinda straight forward
But now after GENICHIRO idk what to do
I talked to kuro Emma isshin for 100 times back and forth
I killed the 4 invisible monkeys I got the mortal blade
Since I had already defeated corrupted monk I had the rock that kuro was looking for
Now what do I have to do to progress the main story
I’m considering lady butterfly as side story so I can keep her on hold
For the main story now what do I have to do ?
I got a lot of things like texts and scripts and books about something that idk about
I got a gunfort key
So rn idk what to do
Other than hirata estate I don’t think I have any place left to do
Ashina castle reservoir depth senpou are all done I think idk for sure pls tell me
Also I need a place to get skill points and sen
I am really behind on them
I legit had 3 spirit emblems rn
And 1 sen left
I have no light heave or bulging coin sack left
I still don’t have many skills that I should have by now
I don’t have the healing potency skill I don’t have ichimonji double I don’t have flowing water(it would’ve been helpful in fighting genichiro) I don’t have all the spirit emblem upgrades I don’t have suppressed sound
I need a good farming spot for skill and sen Not necessarily a really fast farm but a farm which provides more quantity of skill points and sen.
Thank you for everyone who helped me with tips on fighting genichiro and how to get better

i’ve lost 60lbs in the last few years and recently just measured myself to find that i’m a 34ddd. i never measured myself before so i have no clue what size i was before, but i was wearing 2x sports bras so i’m assuming my band size was probably in the 40s? and probably at least a dd. ideally, i would like to get down to a much smaller size and im curious how much weight i would need to lose before seeing any difference in my size. i also think it’s hard to see a difference just looking in the mirror everyday so i’ve been tracking progress with different pairs of jeans and how they fit and i feel like bra size would be another fun way to track progress too. i’m curious: how much weight did you lose before you saw a significant difference in bra size?

So i'm trying to replicate te mechanism that is used in the world record holding jumper robot (varitasium video about it) using 3d printing, rubber bands and some string.
What I can't seem to wrap my head around is how to dimension the printed springs to sort of match perfectly with the rubber bands. So far what I've tried doing to tune this in is the below method, but I think it only comes in the ballpark (if close at all) so my question is; how the hell do you do this?
picture of spring resting
method:

• first off I get the length of the spring right, I try to make it so that when you're bending the assembly, when the two ends of the printed spring are parallel, the rubber band is stretched out to the maximum desired length. example picture
• then i match the thickness of the printed springs so that they are as thick as possible without deforming permanently (or as little as possible at least)
• and lastly i try to adjust the width of the printed spring to make it more/less strong depending on the rubber band.

picture spring fully energized
the problem is that I'm pretty sure that the method of finding the right length is also dependent on the thickness and width of the spring. Because when it's too weak how is it going to stretch the rubber band out far enough? So it's not really a good way to get the length right probably. Another problem I have is that I have absolutely no clue how to tell if the spring and rubber band are in balance making it really hard to dial everything in.
please help?
^{also if anyone feels like messing with this, here is the onshape link to it. The design is fully parametric, all you need to do to adjust stuff is change some numbers in the parameters configuration (or directly in parameters table but i mean configs are nice}.)
tl;dr i'm trying to replicate a spring but I have no idea how to balance it.

Hello, as the title suggests I have been getting this particular BSOD very randomly since I built my PC a few months ago. It happens very randomly, either once a week or sometimes twice a day. I have no clue what could be causing it and I'm pretty sure it's not the hardware as it is a fresh build using new parts. I have run a windows diagnostic memory test and it passes it fine with no issues. I have no overclock running on my CPU or GPU and XMP is disabled. Nothing in particular causes it and it's very hard to recreate. It could happen when the computer is just sitting there doing nothing or it could happen under load, there's no pattern that I can find. All drivers and windows are upto date. I have gone through all the cables and ensured they are nice and snug. At a loss here as to what it could be or if I have faulty hardware somewhere. Any help would be very much appreciated. Thank you!

After spending time away in a new environment, comforting compliments from caring individuals feeling safe and secure along with relaxation was much needed. I can't compare to the magnitude just having a person give me a genuine compliment whether I deserved it, or not. This only improves communication, motivates a person to inspire another, and boost self-confidence. I cannot reiterate this enough. Validation, Confirmation, and "support" can make or break a person.
I have researched all these different practices on self-medicating, or self-healing, and though is possible. For a majority this doesn't even surpass stage one having actual tangible proof of any insignificance in their life. Sometimes it takes decades, lifetimes, or even worst people have searched a lifetime to find their "purpose in life." It's a shame.
We're put here for whatever reason with no instructions, or training wheels. Then again, we're supposed to have an innate sense of right from wrong. We're all born from different eras with different backgrounds and having different influences along the way. Of course, we would love to help our fellow man out, but when does helping turn into taking advantage? The doubt people have towards one another is saddening really. They base their theories on their interpretation of how they would have the situation, and that's completely biased. The person is bound in one way or the other to being the victim of judgement, misunderstanding, or worst, guilty of something they had no clue about. They were completely obliviated from the truth that everyone else could see so clearly, which only made matters worse.
Perhaps, a few human decency and communication without the fear of being ridiculed or degraded would have been a much more profound approach. It's what I call mindfulness. You should always be considerate of others. They have reasons that you as a stranger cannot fully comprehend their hurts, their sufferings, or their decisions. You might see them as a horrible slut who sleeps around with everyone when actually they can't get a date to save their life. They reach out to people who they find endearing for guidance, but to be scorned even worse than before. Leaving them isolated not know who to trust, or believe, because it could be another tactic to have them the butt on the joke. Yes, it would be ideal to laugh and find humor in silly mistakes, but when you have no knowledge in the joke, nor anyone beside you protecting you from the harm they cause is certainly not a fair rival. I'm not even insisting anyone to go out, and hold your hand, but one person competing against an army is not an equal dual. I mean I'm sure the person would love to know what the conflict is even pertaining to, or who is involved, options, resources, and pretty much any other algorithm you can conceive of.
All an algorithm is the same as having a formula in finding a solution to a problem. It's basic problem-solving strategies. Why else do you think they implement mathematics in college? You have a problem. You have a solution. You have a set of numbers, letters, etc in between in efforts of creating an answer. That is basically in everyday living. Math, Science, Language Arts, Social Studies, are only a few that are required in grade school. Only then do they feel the need to branch out which is all find and grand. It's always good to know a little about everything. Just like getting the general idea of a subject. Some grasp the lineage in the exercise while others could care less until they least expect it to happen. For example: remodeling on houses, basic car maintenance on a vehicle, or sympathy for your fellow person. These are the tricks and trades no one ever thinks to address, because they find them so naturally imbedded like they always knew how to do this, because they were brought up to believe everyone learns this talent before puberty. Then you have those that understand the idea of what is going on. They are not disabled, or an idiot. Thy were just never taught, or had the opportunity to be blessed with the knowledge the other has. It's no one's fault, nor should be held against them.
I really have grown tired, and exhausted of proving myself to others why I know their joke has no significance with my dilemma. It's actually the contrary. Let's call this obsession for who knows. It's a word. Anyways, everyone has an obsession with something, or someone in one way or another in their life. This doesn't make them a bad person. Just like an addict. A drug addict gets so much grief and hatred when if you take out the drug addiction or obsession being accused of what do you have? Absolutely the same exact mundane issue as the next person.
People all the time have accused me of being obsessed with my ex boyfriend, but in reality if you view the timestamps, and the information being researched it was basically me trying to find a way to cope with the loss of an important person in my life. This research would consist of how to be a better person, so this won't happen again, or what to look out for when men treat you poorly, take advantage, hurt, belittle, steal, all that mean and unnecessary nonsense. This is not me obsessing over how I'm going to win his heart back, and we can live happily every after. Spoiler alert! There is no happily ever after nor is there ever going to be one EVER. This is life. Miracles don't happen in real life. Those are pipe dreams. Those are the many time that people get their head stuck in the clouds with. Ther is no perfect person for anyone every. There are people who can learn to live together and have an amount of respect for each other. Even so, those standards are set in stone.
Look at me. I mean I was in a 15 year marriage to be divorced over some lie, or a means to survive. I just wish he could have been open and honest from the beginning. That would have saved a lot of time, energy, money, blah blah.. In the end, he settled for someone that gave him more than what I could offer. Did he communicate those attributes he was yearning for? Of course, not. Not a single peep. If he did, it was unnoticed by he didn't try hard enough, or he simply took the easy route of lying. Happens to the best of us. My advice is just be honest with your feelings. Communicate while you can. I know I communicate too much, which is bad too. Moderation/Balance is where it's at. Just find the right terms and words to get through your loved one. To be fair, you did form a relationship of sorts from the beginning, correct? Therefore, the potential is there. People forget how to vibrate on the same frequency as others, and that's a shame. Yes, I find that task very easy. While others could find it difficult. And yes, I am giving advice for nostalgia, but if you revert to a time when together you could get along and not have a worry in the worry. Everything carefree and natural. Then you can begin to set the tone for a much-needed conversation the correct way, in the correct tone, with the correct message coming across.
I know it's possible. People do this all the time. They just don't go into detail and obsess over it with nostalgia and paragraph long synopsis of saying "I love you." "I honestly and truly love you, and I miss you more than you'll ever know." Is this so difficult? Why is this so hard to explain? And why have I never heard of anyone in real life reconciling to a simple I'm sorry, I love you. I love you enough to not let that stand in our way of success. I love you enough to let bygone be bygones, and choose to be together, because we want each other in our live, and can be mature enough not to engage in further turmoil that it has already caused. Most importantly, do not react to those triggers either.
Don't bring it up in arguments, because that just makes it worst. Causing a scene to get a reaction out of someone is childish, and serves no purpose other than the other persons enjoyment at the cost of their loved one. Who is the biggest winner in that scenario? Just a huge shame. I stopped searching for my happily ever after a while ago. He doesn't exist. If he did then he would be sitting here right next to me where I can acknowledge him as my love interest, or person, or love of my life, or soul mate, twin flame, however you want to label is just a term people use to make the person they're romantically involved in sound better. I did like when my ex-boyfriend would introduce me as "This is my _____." He would use my name. Yeah, most people would get offended. Not I. He saw me as an equal, a person, a significant part in my life, and I thank him. I give thanks to him every day when I cry, wheep, or complain. Because I know not many people get to experience that kind of union. Not many find their one and only, and actually like them.
Well, mistakes were made, words were said, conversations never brought up when they needed to, and nothing was reconciled. All that was left was hurt and loneliness on my part. I can't speak for him, but he has chosen to be with someone else. No matter the hurt I feel with his new relationship with my close friend I can't speak for him. Who knows what's going on inside his head? I can barely keep up with my own thoughts let alone an ex boyfriend who is not wanting me back in any way shape or form. He has stated this. This is known. I must respect his wishes, and hope for the best. He did tell me he is happy. I halfway believe that from personal reasons due to I know his mannerisms. I've been around him long enough to have that feeling. Call me weird, or crazy. I can tell when someone is not being completely honest with me, and I definitely can read a persons feelings. If they're hurt, in pain, worrisome, annoyed, angered, you name it. I can't read minds. That's silly. I can however, read, feelings to paraphrasing in my own way. You don't have to believe in any of this or read any of this.
This is just my long-drawn-out version of how people in general sought after in the romance department, and what actually happens from my point of view. Strickly from my lessons in life. Though harsh, and cruel they were necessary. Otherwise, a hardheaded stubborn as my momma would put it sometimes it takes more for us to grasp the concept. We're not stupid or retarded. We're set in our ways, and skeptic (not in a way of not believing anything and living in the past), but skeptic as in questioning why is the question being asked in the first place, realist perhaps, dreamer, hopeless romantic, scenic, however you feel fit to label me. It makes no difference in the end.
To conclude, by the end of my day I wish to be cuddled up in a nice cozy place with my man that I love so much. Whether be around other people, family, friends, whoever, wherever, as long as I have him by my side giving me the safety and protection which calms me down to sweet kisses, hugs, and tenderness is the best way to go.
The best things in life are unseen. That's why we close our eyes when we kiss, laugh, and dream <3
I love you W

Alright, so I've ran into a very odd and perplexing issue with Ark. I recently built a new gaming PC with an i7 13700k, RTX 4070 Ti and 32GB of 6000mHz DDR5 ram. Monitor is a 240hz 1440p Samsung Odyssey G6. Btw my PSU is 850w so power limit isn't an issue, and my GPU is running a pretty intense but stable overclock, removing the overclock doesn't fix the issue anyway. I opened up ark to see how it would run last night. I got 130ish FPS on max settings at 1440p. Today, I transferred over my non dedicated game save files and went to play but noticed my fps dropped to around 50, and my GPU usage never exceeded 50% which didn't make sense. I fiddled around with all my overclocking software and drivers and Nvidia Control Panel thinking it was a GPU issue and nothing worked. Then I realized it's not the GPU power limit or GPU usage that was capped, the GPU was just simply running at a lower usage because my FPS for some reason is heavily limited. It's not hard capped at a certain number, but just refuses to exceed anything past around 60. If I play at max graphics, I get 50 fps. If I play medium graphics, I get 50 fps. If I play minimum play dough looking graphics, I get 50 fps. My system usage gets lower to scale with the FPS and not vice versa, meaning it's not a hardware issue, it's something related to Ark. This is where it gets even stranger. When I load a new game save on Ark, at max graphics on 1440p, for the first 10 seconds or so it runs like it usually does, with limited fps, but then after a few seconds, I get over 130 fps consistently and my GPU usage jumps to 100% because it's finally allowed to be used to it's potential. Then when I load the save files again, it just stays in that first state of limited FPS and never exceeds that. My fps doesn't increase at all with reduced graphics, or in areas with less things rendered, or anything. The fps just stays limited to below 60 regardless of any other factor. When I press esc or go into settings, my system usage spikes up and FPS becomes unlocked again, but when I go back into the game it limits itself again. I don't have V sync on, and even disabled it in Nvidia CP. I have absolutely no idea what's going on or why this is happening only on my current game save. Has anyone else had this issue? I can't find anything even slightly useful online. Any ideas or suggestions at all will be very helpful.
TL;DR - Ark is limited to below ~60 fps regardless of graphical settings (with V sync disabled), but only on a specific game save. I have absolutely no clue how I'm meant to solve this.

So the first murder was pretty standard, didn't have a ton to go on but after questioning some people who lived in the building near the crime, found out some people were pretty suspicious on the floor below the crime scene. Get some faces from the security footage and names from people. 3 body type matches. "Bingo" I'm thinking.
I tear apart all their apartments and interrogate them, get their files from the government and hours later rule them all out as the likely suspect due to conflicting fingerprints. (I'd found prints over an open vent at the crime scene.) I try some other angles, but tracing a murder weapon is hard when it's not a gun. So out of other options I decide to check out the victims job. This is where it gets weird.
I walk in as they're closing up and start poking around when I see a second corpse in a room, and some guy standing over it and he runs. I attack him and cuff him, searched and got a name and prints and found a razor on him, but his data matched nothing I'd found before. Baffled I head back up to the office to actually survey the corpse some people in there who accuse me of trespassing and cameras so I use a flash grenade, bash some heads and do a quick sweep of the body. Found some more writing in blood in an adjacent room.
The body itself had been shot with a shotgun, but that wasn't the cause of death. She'd been stabbed to death. I do a sweep of the office for prints but it's inconclusive. Too many to narrow down and I'm surrounded by security systems and angry people. My previous murderer had also used a shotgun but I don't think that it's from the previous case and unreported since it was a day or so between cases and the cause of death was different. I get her info and scour all the employee files to get everyone's prints (STILL NO MATCHES) and leave to check her apartment for clues but before I do try to call the enforcers, but there's no phone in the office so I settle for triggering the alarm. (THE ENFORCERS STILL NEVER CAME!)
So I'm running through the office building, and as I'm going downstairs with the alarm blaring I find a shotgun lying on the stairs. Check it for prints aaaaand, a completely new set of prints that don't match anything I've found across this case or any others. What. The. Fuck.
Checked her apartment? Nothing helpful. Checked the black market and gun store, and got prints through the government database on anyone who'd bought a shotgun or knife? No matches. All of the info I've found across both deaths has had no correlation and I can't tie anything down to anyone.
Either I'm on a goose chase or this is the craftiest killer in the whole goddamn game. Either way I'm still hooked and I'm dead set on finding this son of a bitch. Love this game.

Never thought I'd be writing a post like this.. I'm 35 (M? not sure how that is supposed to be written) and have a 30 year old GF (F). Been together over 3 years and it has been up and down somewhat but very much worth it and amazing when it was working. We had a kid unplanned, but it is the single greatest thing that I could ever have imagined, and I could not be happier. We were all happy for a long time, we've been through tight spots with money and adapting quickly to stepping up in a relationship and things were amazing. Our boy is now a year and a half, and we discussed that I should stay at home to watch him and pick up contract work online while she worked (she likes to work and did not want to stay home) I'm also finishing up a degree, so it made sense.
Up until two months ago when she got a new job that works late nights bartending for a nightclub-esque place (you know the type). Within two months she has gone from not drinking for two years because it impacted our relationship to going out drinking hard every other day with her equally self-destructive co-workers and "friends", our relationship quickly went downhill as well. The first warning signs was when she was coming home in the morning instead of just late night from her shift and immediately brushing her teeth... from there it went through the same sad steps that I think most of you can assume. I finally stuck a tracker on our vehicle and found it going to an apartment complex when she was stating that she was somewhere else. She has no clue that I know and I also have pulled up her call history and found she texts and calls one number I don't recognize almost as much as she communicates with me.
Now here's the thing so before you just tell me to leave, believe me I hear you, except we have a kid... Not only do we have a child and I am very old fashion about keeping both parents in the kid's life (within safe reasoning) but I also still love this damn woman. I don't know what the hell happened from living together for years now happily facing challenges and working through it to her suddenly just leaving it all (and a young boy??). We are (were) the only support system each other had and whether I like it or not her work had been paying the bills. So, on a scale of 1-10 how stupid am I for wanting to tell her to go to therapy and get her head back into what it is important rather than just leaving immediately. If I do then we are going to have to do the whole custody dance and I worry for my son, she loves him but it just doesn't seem like she really wants to be a mom. So where do I just say F-it and walk out? I know the new thing now is to just take care of yourself and say screw it to everything, but I am having trouble just walking away from a family that I really want to work out.
So there thank you for reading, yes I know that I may be foolish for even considering this but if you can see a bit of where I am coming from let me know if you have any advice, please. I'm kinda alone with this stuff and having no one to confide it in is driving me nuts.

I only remember clue, plot. Sorry I don't remember any name. Chinese name hard to remember. I found this web novel somewhere, I think, in fan translation group.
Plot tell about a man who die in car accident. He was wearing the Buddhism's necklace.
Then he is "isekai" (respawn in another world) in body of a young boy. The young boy was captured as prisoner by bandit. There is an 'immortal' (= wizard, as this world called, or translator called so, I don't know, but it seem to be), evil immortal. The immortal eat human (which are called 'mortal, human who is not immortal, who is not capable of doing magic). The prisoners are being eat one by one after a while.
Luckily, main character will be eaten next because he is the last, another 'good immortal ' appear. They fight, then everyone die, including 2 immortal, all bandit.
Main character loot a black flag, an wooden sword (I forgot what it does), and a book.
Main character later learn to read, he then study in the book, which is how to use the black flag he got earlier. There are a ghost hiding inside the black flag, he can control the ghost to kill people.
Main character power: the Buddhism's necklace from his last life came with him, but stuck in his mind. When he meditation, he can see the Buddhism necklace. The necklace protect main character from all mental attack, he immune to mental attack.
I will add more detail if I remember more.