Beautifully broken hourglass tattoos for females

My foot pushed down harder on the accelerator as my stomach cramped up again in a painful spasm. I was speeding through a schoolzone, and as a sign popped up on the side of the road clearly stating '20' I snapped out of my desperate panic and reluctantly dropped from '40' down to '25'. Turning a corner I realized to my horror that it was three o'clock, and the street was mobbed with parents buzzing in and out of the building to collect their children.
I turned to look behind me and I nearly lost it, my asshole puckering as I sucked the poison back inside. I was completely boxed in. Another four cars had already trapped me inside. I smashed the horn, pleading with the traffic on either side to budge. They didn't.
After a gruelling seven and a half agonising minutes and a half hearted search for some sort of viable receptacle and something other than socks to wipe with, the blockage finally gave way. The cars slowly began to move forward. Eagerly creeping behind, I saw the problem. Somebody had broken down right there by the school gates, having finally been repaired and sent along. A wave of relief washed over me as I considered the short journey ahead. The Porsche dealership was a little over a mile away. A dealership which had a bathroom, one I'd used before. Afterall, that's where I'd bought my car. They knew me, and I knew I'd be able to breeze on in, no questions asked. A deep growling rumbled out over the radio and I put my foot down again as soon as I broke through onto the main road. Just a straight shot, and it would all be over.
Not a minute passed until I was once again utterly dismayed, near losing all hope; ready to just give up right there and then and ruin a perfectly decent pair of black suit pants and the interior of my beautiful brand new Porsche's two-colour interior, characterized by a perfectly coordinated interplay of colours, materials and individual finishes suited just for me. A red light shone in the distance, and in its wake sat a long line of idling cars. Lesser cars, all in my way. My gut quaked violently and sharp pains erupted all through my midsection, sweat pouring down my back and growing sticky in the afternoon heat. I peeled myself from the smooth-finish leather, craning my head out the open window just enough to get a good shout across and I screamed as loudly as the rapidly building pressure would allow, but once again my efforts were futile.
Another minute, now five since I first stared down the crimson cyclops - FIVE minutes at a red light - before at last I was granted passage as everyone finally moved along. Taking their sweet time, of course. I took the left, screeching into the Porsche customer parking lot. The engine stayed on and the keys stayed in, I didn't even close the door behind me. There was no time. The car was the least of my concerns at that point, there was only one thing on my mind.
Shoulder-barging through the glass doors, it's as if my vision became tunneled as I focused in on that bright shining door located at the far wall emblazoned with the sign identifying it as a toilet. And only a little bit past two rows of Porsche's that were only slightly better than mine, I was so close. An audible grunt escaped my pursed lips. As I rushed past the reception desk, something grabbed me. It was Gina. Fucking Gina.
"Mr Kleinfeld? Hi! Lovely to see you again! There aren't any problems with the car, are there?" She looked concerned on the surface but only about as far as it might affect her status as the dealership's top salesperson that month.
"What?!" I caught myself before I let slip just how much pain I was in, confused as to why I wasn't just making a break for it. "Oh? No it's… it's amazing. Fantastic, even. It's just… the thing is…"
Gina raised an eyebrow behind her thick hipster glasses. Functional, yet chic. Now appearing sincerely concerned.
"CAN I USE YOUR BATHROOM!?" The words piled out fast and hard in more of a shriek than a polite request. Gina took a small surprised step back before replying apologetically,
"I'm so sorry, but it'll be closed until at least Five. We've had a plumbing issue this morning a-"
My bodily functions erupted loudly against my will, interrupting the dealership's most enterprising saleswoman midsentence as a fetid smell akin to what I imagine a genocide reeks like filled the spacious area, floor to ceiling, within seconds. I stood there in shock, as did Gina. We maintained an uncomfortable mutual stare for a moment before my feet automatically began backing away; unconsciously desperate to escape the nightmare on my stunned behalf.
Others began to correlate the stench with my shuffling presence and two or three pointed in my direction, outing my soiled situation to their small groups of co-workers.
"Don't look at me!" I yelled as involuntarily as I'd emptied my bowels as I crossed the threshold back into the lot, my shrill echo booming as everyone who hadn't previously noticed my embarrassment did then at that exact moment. My mind was racing, while also simultaneously completely blank in an odd mix of trauma, shame, panic and despair. My reputation, tarnished in the blink of an eye like my work slacks.
I got to my still open and blinking Porsche, removed the bottom half of my attire and dumped it all right there beside me on the ground, socks included. They were someone else's problem now. With a quick wipe using the discarded clothing I hopped back inside and sped away from the scene, the smell haunting me the whole way like the memory of that day will haunt my every waking moment forever.
An hour's drive home later and I was sitting outside my house afraid to go inside. I didn't tell my wife what happened to me when she greeted me at the front door, balls out, instead storming upstairs to hide in the shower, opting for the inevitable rumor mill to do the job instead. We never spoke of it, ever. I never spoke about much of anything after that…

There is too much to do. I'm ONE person. I dont get much help, so I don't get why everybody is piling shit on top of me like I've got infinite time, money and resources. I'm burnt out. I'm exhausted. I'm done. It's not possible long term. It's just not.
I have to work! I'm poor as fuck! The bills are rising again in April, so I'm going to have to work more, so less hours to do everything that needs to be done. And between then I need to find time to help with homework, do "required crafts" for school (a fucking Easter bonnet this week, why am I spending money & time to make something that's gonna be worn for ten minutes and thrown away?), there was a "charity fun run" so that's the school asking for more money, as well as World Down Syndrome Day (asking for more money), Red Nose Day (asking for more money), and a non uniform day this Friday (asking for more money).
I need to keep the house clean, maintain the appliances, keep on top of laundry, keep on top of my daughters multiple appointments (orthopaedic consultants, physiotherapist, dermatologist, play therapist for ADHD/autism) & sensory issues (struggles w most clothes right now, causes hours-long meltdowns). Bc of the sensory issues I've spent hours upon hours at every clothing shop within a 2 hour train trip of where I live - and she still doesn't have many clothes. six hours I spent in a shoe shop with the poor assistant having to bring us every shoe in multiple sizes to try and get her to wear anything other than sandals or wellies... and we still left with no shoes.
She's got her own birthday party coming up and then three of her friends birthdays in the week following, so that's four days of the half term where nothing gets done bc shes overexcited about these parties and I have to wait around watching for the inevitable massive meltdown. She still sleeps like shit at almost six years old so I am almost always running on 2-4 hours of sleep.
The house is disgusting. It's filthy. The dishwasher is broken. The sink is full of dishes. The laundry basket is full. We have to go get this craft shit for the Easter bonnets, and I know we won't bc I just can't any more. Its too much. I dont even know where to start on the shithole that is my house. Her homework needs doing, her bed needs stripping, the bathroom needs cleaning. And none of it will get done.
Her school acknowledges there's a problem... but refuses to help her there. Or give me resources to help me at home. Even bringing in a report from the place that diagnosed her saying that she needs the support - they refuse. I cant change her schools either - they're all full. She's on the wait list for four different ones, but she's been on two of those waitlists for over a year and there's been nothing yet.
18 months ago my house was gorgeous. I kept it beautiful & was very house proud. I was put together and tidy. My work was going great. Her schooling was going great.
It all fell apart. I'm so tired & I just dont have the strength to hold this all together right now.
Thanks for listening to my whinging.

• SITUATION
  I am a Muslim, and I work in Saudi Arabia. I have been married for 7 years and have a 6-year-old son. For the past 2-3 years, my wife has been cheating on me.All this happened when I used to leave for work and she lived alone here in India. She used to give my mom sleeping pills, and then her partner used to come to my house. This was revealed to me when a neighbour (a friend) sent me a video asking, "Do you know this guy?"He frequently comes to your house". I was broken into pieces. I began looking for evidence without acting emotionally.I discovered that guy's Instagram account, and my female friend assisted me in communicating with him using a fake ID. I made him confess how all this was happening, how they met, how many times they had a physical thing, and he also sent me( to the fake ID) my wife's pictures and some of her bold pics when I forced that I wanted to see her. He also confessed that my wife's plan was to kill me at some point when she would be fully satisfied. I have the screen recording of all those chats and video calls, which clearly shows his face and his voice. The whole colony is an eyewitness to him hanging around my house every night.
  
• HELP
  All I want is to get rid of her having custody of my son. The house is half in my name and half in my mother's name and that is the only asset i got. How can I protect the house, and will she seek alimony if I file for divorce? If yes, how can I escape it? It's clearly her fault, and moreover, she's ruined my life and my son's life.
  

Just ask in the comments of you have further queries or need more info

My foot pushed down harder on the accelerator as my stomach cramped up again in a painful spasm. I was speeding through a schoolzone, and as a sign popped up on the side of the road clearly stating '20' I snapped out of my desperate panic and reluctantly dropped from '40' down to '25'. Turning a corner I realized to my horror that it was three o'clock, and the street was mobbed with parents buzzing in and out of the building to collect their children.
I turned to look behind me and I nearly lost it, my asshole puckering as I sucked the poison back inside. I was completely boxed in. Another four cars had already trapped me inside. I smashed the horn, pleading with the traffic on either side to budge. They didn't.
After a gruelling seven and a half agonising minutes and a half hearted search for some sort of viable receptacle and something other than socks to wipe with, the blockage finally gave way. The cars slowly began to move forward. Eagerly creeping behind, I saw the problem. Somebody had broken down right there by the school gates, having finally been repaired and sent along. A wave of relief washed over me as I considered the short journey ahead. The Porsche dealership was a little over a mile away. A dealership which had a bathroom, one I'd used before. Afterall, that's where I'd bought my car. They knew me, and I knew I'd be able to breeze on in, no questions asked. A deep growling rumbled out over the radio and I put my foot down again as soon as I broke through onto the main road. Just a straight shot, and it would all be over.
Not a minute passed until I was once again utterly dismayed, near losing all hope; ready to just give up right there and then and ruin a perfectly decent pair of black suit pants and the interior of my beautiful brand new Porsche's two-colour interior, characterized by a perfectly coordinated interplay of colours, materials and individual finishes suited just for me. A red light shone in the distance, and in its wake sat a long line of idling cars. Lesser cars, all in my way. My gut quaked violently and sharp pains erupted all through my midsection, sweat pouring down my back and growing sticky in the afternoon heat. I peeled myself from the smooth-finish leather, craning my head out the open window just enough to get a good shout across and I screamed as loudly as the rapidly building pressure would allow, but once again my efforts were futile.
Another minute, now five since I first stared down the crimson cyclops - FIVE minutes at a red light - before at last I was granted passage as everyone finally moved along. Taking their sweet time, of course. I took the left, screeching into the Porsche customer parking lot. The engine stayed on and the keys stayed in, I didn't even close the door behind me. There was no time. The car was the least of my concerns at that point, there was only one thing on my mind.
Shoulder-barging through the glass doors, it's as if my vision became tunneled as I focused in on that bright shining door located at the far wall emblazoned with the sign identifying it as a toilet. And only a little bit past two rows of Porsche's that were only slightly better than mine, I was so close. An audible grunt escaped my pursed lips. As I rushed past the reception desk, something grabbed me. It was Gina. Fucking Gina.
"Mr Kleinfeld? Hi! Lovely to see you again! There aren't any problems with the car, are there?" She looked concerned on the surface but only about as far as it might affect her status as the dealership's top salesperson that month.
"What?!" I caught myself before I let slip just how much pain I was in, confused as to why I wasn't just making a break for it. "Oh? No it's… it's amazing. Fantastic, even. It's just… the thing is…"
Gina raised an eyebrow behind her thick hipster glasses. Functional, yet chic. Now appearing sincerely concerned.
"CAN I USE YOUR BATHROOM!?" The words piled out fast and hard in more of a shriek than a polite request. Gina took a small surprised step back before replying apologetically,
"I'm so sorry, but it'll be closed until at least Five. We've had a plumbing issue this morning a-"
My bodily functions erupted loudly against my will, interrupting the dealership's most enterprising saleswoman midsentence as a fetid smell akin to what I imagine a genocide reeks like filled the spacious area, floor to ceiling, within seconds. I stood there in shock, as did Gina. We maintained an uncomfortable mutual stare for a moment before my feet automatically began backing away; unconsciously desperate to escape the nightmare on my stunned behalf.
Others began to correlate the stench with my shuffling presence and two or three pointed in my direction, outing my soiled situation to their small groups of co-workers.
"Don't look at me!" I yelled as involuntarily as I'd emptied my bowels as I crossed the threshold back into the lot, my shrill echo booming as everyone who hadn't previously noticed my embarrassment did then at that exact moment. My mind was racing, while also simultaneously completely blank in an odd mix of trauma, shame, panic and despair. My reputation, tarnished in the blink of an eye like my work slacks.
I got to my still open and blinking Porsche, removed the bottom half of my attire and dumped it all right there beside me on the ground, socks included. They were someone else's problem now. With a quick wipe using the discarded clothing I hopped back inside and sped away from the scene, the smell haunting me the whole way like the memory of that day will haunt my every waking moment forever.
An hour's drive home later and I was sitting outside my house afraid to go inside. I didn't tell my wife what happened to me when she greeted me at the front door, balls out, instead storming upstairs to hide in the shower, opting for the inevitable rumor mill to do the job instead. We never spoke of it, ever. I never spoke about much of anything after that…

Photos here: https://i.redd.it/qywao1g74vpa1.png
Hello, for the past 7 months I have been a diligent and appreciative reader of Reddit (and researcher through many academic research articles), trying to find a path through the sleep-depriving skin condition afflicting my face. It has been diagnosed as perioral dermatitis. Yet certain symptoms don’t quite correspond, and prescribed treatment hasn’t resolved the issue. I ask for your patience in reading through my following questions. Background: 42-y.o. female; no health issues; normal blood/hormone levels; healthy skin all my life; and since my 30s, minimal skincare and no cosmetic use apart from tinted sunscreen half the year.
My condition can be traced back to a small lip tear in late summer but has become fiercely recurrent: it calms down for no more than 3 days at most before flaring up again. The cycle goes like this: tiny crack at a lip corneedge → vermillion / lip perimeter turns red and swollen (a blotched-lip-injection look) → skin just beyond the vermillion starts oozing yellow fluid, producing a crust, i.e., infection → the fluid (superantigens) irritate the surrounding skin → more skin becomes compromised, with micro-tears that become infected → infection spreads to entire perioral area → treated with zinc/petroleum → dry skin flakes off → 1-3 days of normality → flare-up again.
While much of that screams staph-infected eczema or secondary impetigo, the infection was cultured on 3 separate occasions, from the area when yellow crust was still visible, and every time the lab results came back as “normal skin flora,” denoting no fungus or bacteria of note. (I did drive myself crazy obsessing about the possibility of a staph infection run amok, but since it remains limited to my face, I am taming that worry for now.)
I have seen multiple certified dermatologists, as well as general practitioners and a naturopath.
In this entire period I used a corticosteroid cream 10 times, on non-consecutive days: of course they helped, but briefly, not worth the overall adverse effects on my very sensitive skin. Other products used:
Antibiotics: Fusidin: topical antibiotic; irritated my skin to a degree that it seems to tear further and become infected more; Co-Amoxicillin: oral antibiotics, 6-day course. Cleared up my symptoms on days 3-4 before the infection/inflammation resumed.
Immunosuppressants: Elidel: tamed the angry inflamed appearance but left the skin feeling terribly tight, and oughtn’t be used on broken skin Metrogel: no effect; slight discomfort on application
Antibacterials: Bepanthen Plus: contains chlorhexidine, known to kill staph; helps delay the spread of infection but only for a day; Hibiscrub: can’t use it more than once a day b/c it’s extremely irritating and weakens my skin barrier; Tea tree oil: diluted; helpful though further reddens the area for a day; Neosporin: no effects either way; Lubex: a mildly disinfectant face wash prescribed for me; useless and stung.
OTC topicals: Avène Cicalfate+: very helpful to repair broken skin and calm redness, but must be mixed with Aquaphor, otherwise too drying. Aquaphor: simply comforting to the skin. CeraVe Healing Ointment: comparable to Aquaphor for me. Avène Post-Procedure Emulsion: in hopes of reintroducing some moisture to my face, but stung and reddened; it has some zinc and is indicated for “post-procedure” skin, so I’m puzzled that it was so unproductive; La Roche-Posay Cicaplast Baume B5: worked once miraculously to calm down redness, but never worked again and seemed subtly irritating.
Some specific questions:
1) In my case the inflamed perioral area has never contained any bumps / pustules / raised skin. The skin may ooze, crust, flake, but remains smooth underneath. Is this a variant on the usual type of perioral dermatitis?
2) How can an infection be so obviously present yet the lab swab show nothing of note?
3) For advocates of zero therapy: should we stop using even the products that do help? Personal example: when there is an oozing infection, tea tree oil diluted in Aquaphor helps. When the infection has abated but micro-tears remain in the skin, I’ve found that Avène Cicalfate+ mixed with Aquaphor reliably relieves the situation. But in continuing use am I just becoming dependent on temporary fixes, impairing my skin’s self-healing mechanisms?
And my big general plea: has anyone had similar experiences or can anyone provide help? I have read through hundreds of threads/posts partially matching what I’ve experienced, and have been thankful for them all. But after 7 months I would be so so grateful for more responses specific to my case!

Im upset with feeling low on my deen, especially during this time of the month Ramadan but I cannot help wondering some questions. If someone could guide me it would be helpful. In my opinion, I feel that women are always second in Islam, Adam sa was created first so does that mean that would be just here to please men? I feel that we alone are not enough generations we hear that baby girls are murdered because they are seemed as less than a man until Islam came to say this is wrong. Mothers are truly appreciated in Islam but I feel that we are not seen as a person alone. Only as wife, daughter or mother than we have some ranking. Do some men not see us as humans with personality. Do most just love us because of those titles?
We all know that the idea of polygamy in Islam is for men to provide for orphans, widows and the poor. So it is an exception not defult or biologically they are in need of more than one wife. So my question is why can’t women also provide for men who choose not to work or are not able to do so? Are men not able to be okay with polygamous? We know that it's human nature to feel jealousy just as the prophet Sa wife Ayesha ra did. Are some women only okay with it because of society?
I know there are roles for both men and women and procedures and rules. But as a woman sometimes my deen feels weak because I may feel that it's unfair. Sometimes it feels like we are just objects men always speak for women saying we are okay with this or that. I feel that women are always taught to be obedient and just obey. With the right man, it would feel okay as we know he has huge responsibilities and will get punished if he disobeys Allah. but if the roles were reversed how would men feel?
We are all slaves to Allah. But girls we must obey, our parents then our husband and if he passes away our son has more power over us. We need his authority to leave the house travel so on. I really hope people don’t take this the wrong way I just want confirmation or feel contempt.
Divorce in sharia law a man can say divorce three times and then women have to obey. Men can marry another without the permission of the wife. How can men be that cruel not to care about our feelings. If it's written in nikah conditions then the wife is allowed to divorce straight away. After she has spent most of her life with him. Also, did Allah create men to be that obsessed with the desire for women’s bodies. I know some women who can lust over a man's hands or voice but mostly everything is awra for her because men can’t control themselves.
Lastly, this has broken my heart and I continuously cry but I can't seem to find an answer that I’m contempt with. There are many debates about "Hoor al ayeen" but we know that it exists. 72 pure virgins with the most beautiful eyes. I know your wife will be even better but thanks now I know that my man can also be with another one in dunya and akhira. it feels so hurtful that it never ends. The quran mentions breasts but men also have them so some say it's only women and some say it's both. But from a hadith that I have read the companion of the prophet Sa who died as a maytr on the battlefield. He had a wife in the dunya and still got hoor in Jannah. It leaves me feeling like are women objects of desire. its all we are seen as that's why we are covered up to protect us from getting men lusting. I also read which has helped my perspective that some men and women in the dunya don't have good spouses so they receive hoors. This makes sense but what about the ones that are happily married and do not desire it. Is it wrong to reject that gift of god? In the Quran it also says that the reward for women is unimaginable so it might not be hoors. However, we can ask whatever we wish for so if we want a spouse it's fine. But I do not want to share my partner in this life or the hereafter. Some say its like a reality a dream so even if he has in your reality he doesn't. Somehow still don't feel easy. Are we all just going to be wired to feel satisfaction which is why there's no jealousy there.
Did god really create women to be accepting or wanting of just one man while men can be with others. It's almost like our feelings don't matter or we shouldn't have them.

My partner cannot tell his toxic dad no
My beautiful and intelligent partner can NOT tell his dad no. His dad is a mess. Quit his job because they asked for a drug test. Now he stays at home and is a literal horder of everything building wise. Has 6 pianos. Has over 43 doors in his garage. He borrows our tools and van and either brings them back broken or doesn't bring them back at all. Partner tells me his dad is ridiculous and wrong but keeps giving him our stuff because he cannot say NO. I dont know what to do. It's been years of this and it makes me so angry and the last thing I want is for it to come between us but I can't stand his dad anymore. We fight about it and I hate it so much. We have a newborn and his dad asks for our van so much more than he asks to see our baby. How do I help him stand up for himself and our family against his dad who is so selfish he cannot see anything else?

Please avoid messaging if you plan to waste our time, expect me to chase after you, decide to stop replying due to loss of interest and other such things of the sort. I'm not here to deal with immaturity.
Bonus: Canadians are also welcome in this!
Name's Valentine. I live in northern Italy though I'm not italian. You likely have seen me post here before but, I tend to change things a little every time. Mostly because of my sincere creative nature. That is to say, I'm never offering something that is not me or that I cannot follow through with. That would honestly just be so disrespectful.
I'm seeking a long term girlfriend. Lover, soulmate, best friend (not in the friend zone), player number 2 in video games, a dearest someone that will protect my emotions, soul and body while I do the same in return for her. A person that can pretty much do everything she wants to on her own but would very much rather lean on me instead so we can share the load. A person that will seek comfort in my arms whenever she needs to cry and forget about the world while also offering the same in return for whenever I need to just be small and be hidden and protected against a warm chest to shed my pains out of me. Emotional availability and understanding, open mindedness, desire to serve and be served.
In a more.. fantasy (?) mindset, think of us as the Queen that rules her kingdom and the giant feline creature that sits in her lap or by her throne, waiting to act for the safety of his beloved. That is to say that I am a bit of a switchy but without any specific lean. It just depends on my partner really.

• I'm seeking someone that I can voice chat with often if not daily. I do not like to text. Someone that I can play Overwatch 2 with on PC and the game that she wants to play as well. We'll organize around sharing your passion and my passion together in the gaming realm. One game for each.If you ask why just one, it's because I've quit all of my games, social media, streaming, everything, to focus on real life, to work better at my job, I've started therapy and meds for my mental health, I have a therapist and a psychologist that both help me extremely much. I plan to turn this into IRL as soon as possible but without rushing. Meaning? I don't want to do the whole edating thing where we just focus on countless hours of gaming and talking. No, that's a waste of time. Of course I want to game with you but work on your passions, your projects, your studies, gym, your own future, etc. I don't want to date someone who is addicted to gaming and is doing nothing to fight for a better future. Mental health issues is a weight that can be completely dealt with or somewhat to live a happier life and shared. That is fine. But pure game addicts that do nothing else and leech off, no.
• In terms of physical preference, I'd like someone between the height of 4'10 to 6 feet or so. I don't mind you being shorter or taller than me. That's why I brought such a large range. I'm more attracted to women with longer hair. Down to the shoulders and past. Extra extra bonus if it's down to the butt. I want to brush it, I want to take care of it, I want to caress it. Body wise, I'm into petite, slim, muscular, hourglass, thick in the right places and overall softness. This is an important factor for me because I see nothing wrong with being physically attracted to someone. It just helps everything along the way. And this is the kind of person I'm attracted to. I'm also super attracted to piercings, tattoos and body art as well as aesthetics such as goth, pastel, tomboyish, punk, accessories, egirl aesthetics but not exaggerated or cosplaying, etc.
• As for myself? I'm 5'9 (175 cm) which for a lot of people seem to be a deal breaker but I don't judge. As I stated above, we all have our preferences and that's fine. I'm relatively large. I used to do martial arts, swimming and one year of body building at the age of 16. Right now, I'm chubby but I'm hitting the gym to get rid of it. I want my muscles back lol. I have a normal voice. Not too high or too low pitched. No, I am not a " Papi " voiced person. Frankly men who have that voice and use it to get girls make me cringe a bit because that's just selfish manipulation. Anywhom. I'm a graphic designer by trade, I used to do courses on social media usage (twitter, instagram, tiktok, youtube, twitch streaming etc) for those who wanted to make a living out of it, I've done photo editing as a freelance worker for people who do.. " Inappropriate for this subreddit " content too. But right now, I'm a security guard. I'm also huge on tech and I plan to study Website Development so I can work from home in the future and have more stable incomes. I play only Overwatch 2 right now and I refuse to play any kind of Riot Games type of games. I've given those up. I can happily watch you and cheer you on and spend that time bonding but keep me away. I'm fine with the rest though. PLEASE play Overwatch 2 or be willing to get into it as I will do the same for one of your games as well that you love the most and would want to share with me.
• Although I am sexually open minded and into [term that cannot be used in this subreddit because of rules], one thing I'd like to announce is that I do not plan to have children. In fact, the moment I settle with someone, I'm likely to get a vasectomy as well. Furbabies, in fact cats if possible, are literally all I'd ask for.
• Gaming is not the only thing on my mind nor is just sex. I take care of myself physically, I do skincare and go to a beautician twice a month, I do hit the gym as well and I prefer walking to work rather than using public transport. That 7 km per day walk does me well. I also love nature, I love camping and going swimming in the sea, I adore forests and I'm huge on climbing mountains (the normal way, not actual rock climbing lol). I'm also a hopeless romantic. Flowers? Yes. Opening the door for you? Yes. Giving you massages and worshipping you through acts of beautiful servitude? Of course. Love and affection and desire? Ofuckingcourse.
• Last but not least, mental health. I suffer from diagnosed anxiety, severe depression that has been getting treated as well so nowadays it's a lot less and my panic attacks are being treated as well. I was that close to getting heart issues. But all is getting well. I have a therapist and a psychologist, I talk to them whenever I need to and I take care of myself. I also have one issue that is similar to aspergers but it's not specifically autism, just similar effects. I'll happily share once we get to know each other.

So far so good? Hit me up on Disc. Its on my profile. Don't bother messaging me here. Just add me directly.

In South Africa, afro-textured hairstyles are perennial favorites. Females with naturally curly hair are universally thought to be more beautiful and desirable.

Im watching Saul Gone and getting emotional and I just wanted to come on here and talk about it. The episode is so beautiful and i love the artistic direction they took. The ending, despite giving Jimmy a bitter conclusion to essentially his life as he commits himself to imprisonment and solitude, is pretty rosy. Its a much more hopeful ending then that of Breaking Bad's and in a lot of ways much less conclusive. But not in a bad way. Keep in mind i adore the ending of Breaking Bad and im not saying its bad at all, it simply aims to achieve a different effect and is equally as effective in it. Breaking Bad wanted to tell the story of a man becoming corrupted by his impulses and worst qualities like greed, pride, and selfishness, and giving in to them. Walter didnt put up much of a fight as he delved deeper into his heinous life style that gave him such a rush and feeling of being powerful. And Breaking Bad ends with a very "case closed" feeling for all our main characters. Hank is dead while Marie is left to mourn the loss of her husband, and her along with Skyler are left to desperately mend the broken pieces of their relationship as well as their family. Walt Jr is left fatherless and traumatized, and Holly likely will face challenges growing up fatherless and the child of a notorious drug kingpin. And Walter's ending is the most conclusive by far, since he is dead. The characters are all left in a hopelessly miserable state and its a much bleaker ending and to me it gives off the impression of "this is where these characters end". The finale of breaking bad is so conclusive that youre not much inclined to look too far ahead in these characters lives past the moment the screen goes to black on the finale. Better Call Saul leaves off in a unique position to where we're left to ponder about the decades that will be following after the credits roll. And yes this ending is much more romantic and idealistic and I can definitely understand someone preferring the more conclusive and pragmatic ending of Breaking Bad. But Im a sucker for it. The show stays so true to itself and truly differentiates itself from its predecessor to the very end because even though the last 4 episodes are so extremely different from the rest of the series it still retains everything that made it great and displays them in the finale. Its slowness, its humor and witty dialogue, and its sometimes over the top nature (i seriously love the bus scene and i get annoyed that people act like the shows never been over the top before, the show is full of cartoonish side characters and crazily edited montages and super powerful monologues and super villain speeches, this is far from jumping the gun.) Its always been part of the shows charm and i appreciate them staying true to that. You can say Jimmy negotiating a case like his down to 7 years is unrealistic and maybe it is, and you could argue that him giving it up is even more so, but i appreciate that they made that gap so large because it really emphasizes the power in Jimmy's choice, and i for one see no issue in slightly sacrificing some realism to portray that since it feels consistent with the rest of the show. Also despite how dark and serious the show got it never stopped being comedic and it perfectly weaved it in even in the most tense situations. So i appreciate the comedic bits in this episode. The finale really only focuses on two characters, Jimmy and Kim, so it really feels personal to them. What i also find important is how the show tells us the moral lines Jimmy wont cross (like killing marion). It really highlights the difference between what these two endings wanted to do, Better Call Saul's ending wanted to provide hope and make us reflect on our outlook. No matter what the world may think of us or things we've done in the past, we may be prone to face the consequences of those actions, but as long as we're still alive and still holding on to our humanity even a bit, there's always hope we can change our path to be better. Jimmy didn't willingly give in to corruption, he constantly fought against it, he struggled with a lot of the same problems walt did like greed, pride and selfishness, but i always got the vibe that he always deeply desired change even at his worst, at least subconsciously. Walter seemed more to enjoy the descent while it was a life of misery for Jimmy. So i think its so beautiful that they allowed jimmy to finally break the cycle. Hes facing the consequences of his actions but making the choice to make better choices. Will he truly be able to over come his vices or will he slip back, can kim recover from the lawsuit about to come down on her, will jimmy achieve happiness in prison or will it fade as the years pass, it's possible they're in for a bleak ending but the show doesn't distinctly answer those questions, because its gives the idea that we should hope for the best in life the same way we hope for the best for these characters. And it makes me reflect on breaking bads ending as i realize that Skylar, Marie and Walt Jr despite how hopeless their situation seems, they still have hope for a better future. Im just rambling on at this point because Im just so in love with this show and this episode and it makes me feel hopeful and inspired and i love the message it sends and its a perfect ending for the characters.

I've recently completed Crash 4 it's about time and wanted to share my thoughts/give a review, especially as my thoughts seem to differ from the consensus on sites such as metacritic. It currently sits at 80% for critics and 60% for users. With that being mostly a mix of 10/10 best game ever and 0/10 hating it's always online/ not on steam. I would give it about 6/10 on its own merits.
For context I picked up the game after any %completing crash 1 and 100+% completing crashs 2 +3 on the N sane trilogy. (The PC remake). So I thought I was at least okay at playing crash.
When I picked up the game my first thoughts were it looks amazing. The tropical beach start is a great call back to the other games and crash is the best he's ever looked. The game takes you through a variety of worlds and there all very rich and vibrant and feel very different.
Crash handles nicely, slightly tighter than in n-sane (less rolling off the edges of ledges) and the enhanced shadows do help with platforming.
In the cut scenes they've pulled off his lovable idiot character perfectly. The story does the job but is nothing special. Space time is broken, grab the 4 magic masks to fix it.
When you get the masks they unlock power ups which can be used in specific areas. 3 are generic platformer mechanics of slow time, flip gravity and phase some objects in or out. Whilst generic and done better in some other games they are still well integrated here and fit nicely with the crash game play. The 4th mask is the best as it's crash specific. It lets you spin continuously and it acts as a glide function. Overall really enjoyable to watch and control.
They also give you 3 extra charters to control. I found them okay. They all have ranged attacks which could be a pain to aim but you didn't need too much accuracy and their sections were short enough I didn't find them offensive. They generally pop in platform for a bit push a button or similar then disappear. Some people love them but I just found them okay.
The bosses are interesting and the check points after each stage means each stage can be difficult without them being tedious of having to do it 3 times perfectly without dieing. However, this can make them feel a little short and they could do with an extra stage or 2 to them. The worst offender is N. Trophy, he's set up as the main villain, you infiltrate the evil lair set in the middle of the astroid field, avoid and deactivate the laser defenses and.... Nothing. Deactivating the lasers beats them. Where's my real boss battle inside the hub? I'm glad Cortex V2 was much better but this was still such a let down.
Everything looks set for a great crash game so why did I find it so meh and why did I put it down for months at a time?
Difficulty. They have cranked things up to 100 here. The original trilogy already had a reputation for being difficult. But the challenge to any% Crash 4 massively outweighs anything I did in the original trilogy. The ledges are often tiny, swarmed with enemies and explosives and the check points are far apart.
The worst offender for me is when they ramp up the difficulty right at the end of a level. It's doubly frustrating when you get only a handful of deaths through most the level then get 50+ between the final check point and the end. There were several levels where the only reason I didn't quit was I was sure this was the end of the level and didn't want to lose my progress. So I ended up beating the game more out of a mix of frustration and wanting it to be good rather than enjoyment. At least they did remove lives so you could beat yourself against it continuously.
The difficulty also meant I gave up on getting all the boxes pretty early, something like level 2 or 3. It's a bit of a shame as crash games feel more lifeless without caring about boxes and it meant I skipped a lot of content like bonus rounds. You do get some gems for getting certain percentages of the boxes/wumpa fruit in the level but unless you get all the gems you don't get the skin, which is the main unlock for a level so it seems a bit pointless.
With the increase difficulty the levels also felt too long. For reference most the crash levels in the original trilogy had less than 100 boxes here there are regularly 200+. The length and difficulty really made it feel like a grind and the levels had out stayed their welcome.
The difficulty also clashes with the tone of the game. In one world the characters are just out getting take out and are enjoying there victory after the latest boss. This is the complete opposite to my experience where I've just died 20+ times trying to get there.
It felt weird that the bosses were the easiest levels in the game due to the most frequent checkpoints. I enjoyed these levels the most and I think these show how much more I would of enjoyed the game if they had only been more generous with the check points.
Overall, this means we have a game which I can only recommend to super fans of the series. I can't think of anyone I would recommend to play crash 4 first over the N.Sane trilogy. Then only play this if you wish every level of the trilogy was twice as long as twice as difficult. It's a real shame as a beautiful world has been created but I just don't want to explore it. After completing it, rather than chasing the additional content here I've gone to do another run of N.Sane as I just find it more fun.

Ok, so this is my first reddit post, so please excuse any confusion. Recently, while watching YouTube, I stumbled upon a list of 10 alternate/parallel universe stories. I have believed in the theories of alternate universes forever...I mean literally, for as long as I can remember, and I have good reason.
I am a woman, almost 50 y.o, who has always had these "dreams". In my dreams, I am someplace else, but with full memories of ever part of my life when in the dream. I wake up at least 5x's/night, with full memories of the dream I had just had. I tried keeping dream logs, but, with the amount of dreams I have a night, along with the details remembered in each dream, I don't have the time to write down each dream. If i were to write them, they would be complete stories, not dreams. I almost wish I had someone who could write them for me.
The majority of my dreams are all in the same world. I call this world "The Land Of Nod", Don't ask me why I call it that, I started calling it that when I was about 15 and it just stuck.
My earliest memory of having repetitive dreams and dreams of this other world, was about when I was either 4 or 5, but I am sure I have had them my whole life, unfortunately, our brains don't start storing memories until about that age. My earliest memory of this life, was when I was approx. 3-4 y/o. My parents tell me that as a baby, I had colic until I was 9-months old, that's pretty late for colic, considering it usually subsides by the time a baby id 3-4 months old, I truly believe that it was not colic that kept me awake all night instead of sleeping, I believe I was having these dreams even then. At that young age, and I believe i was so confused, about what to believe and what not to believe, kept me up, crying, trying to stay in in world. Now, I know this is just a guess, but if you had experienced the things I have experienced thru-out the past 49 years of my life, you would understand why I feel this way. My friends and co-workers ask me everyday about my dreams the night before. Sometimes I tell them, sometimes I don't and sometimes i can't, because in "The Land Of Nod", there are creatures that don't exist here. There are everyday animals sold in their pet shops that don't exist here, on this plane, and most importantly, there are colors that don't exist here. They are impossible for me to describe, and although I will vividly remember the colors I see for several days after the dream, the memories slowly fade with time. But one thing I am sure of, they were there.
I compare it to how different animals, can see different colors due to the cones in their eyes. They say dogs only see in black and white, yet some insects can see different colors on the color spectrum, like ultraviolet,that our human eyes can't even imagine. Well, you can think I'm insane all you want, but it's true. There are amazing, marvelous, beautiful colors, both light and dark, shimmery, yet not opaque, indistinct, yet comprehensible, all at the same time.
When i say I wake up 5x/night,I am not exaggerating, in fact, I am lowering the bar. There have been times when i have woken up 9-10x/night due to these dreams.
Like I said, the majority of the time, I go to the same world when i dream. I know the whole town so well, I could draw a map. I know where the movie theater is,the mall, the train stations and the houses.
While some of you are probably thinking that I have taken bits and pieces of the real world and introduced them to create "The Land of Nod", i assure you, that is not the case. These are places, I know I have never seen, with people, most of who I have never met. Sometimes different people in my family will be there, and other times, someone entirely different would be my mother or father. On these occasions, I remember that whole entire life, clear as day. All the memories are intact, Sometimes, I am me, but younger, or older and other times, I am someone completely different. I have been a black woman in my dreams (I am a white woman in this dimension). I have been a Chinese male, and a Chinese female. For some reason, I have been Chinese more than any other ethnicity,
Now don't go getting up in arms over race and sex....I have no control over my dreams in the past, or even who I will be tonight.
A common theme with most of my dreams is the world ending. I have dreamt about this more times than I could begin to explain. 9 out of 10 times, in my dreams, the world ends due to floods and tsunami's. On occasion, I have been in the thick of it, trying to save people and get them on boats. But most of the time, it's after the fact. The damage and destruction. The haunting shapes of twisted metal from where skyscrapers use to be. I will say this: all of the dreams about the tsunami catastrophes appear to be far in the future. I can tell by what has been left over. The remnants, even of the twisted skyscrapers, are nothing that even remotely looks like this century.
I have not only had dreams of the end times, I have had dreams where I have lived a whole lifetime, grown up, fell in love, got married, grew old and relaxed with my old, true love, on a raft, in a makeshift lake that was inside a giant spaceship, where we could look up and see the clear dome, at least a 100 feet above us, showing all the stars. I remember the peace I felt in that moment.The peace of knowing I had a good life, with a man I love and being ready to accept death.
I have had movies that were complete movies. I( watched them fro beginning to end. They don't exist here in this dimension...believe me, I have searched. I have dreamt of musicals, one I remember i call "Stomp", because it was a horror, comical musical, of this band of gypsies, that floated from town to town, killing people, by stomping their heads while circling around them singing. I remember all these and more, vividly.
I have seen giant insects like 4 feet long spiders and 12 inch bees, whose abdomens were completely transparent, so much so, that I could see the intestines, both blue and green, inside the liquid sac of their abdomen.
I don't know why, after all these years I am talking about this.
I believe, honestly in my heart, that these are different dimensions that are out there, but we are unable to see or touch them, at least I can't when I'm awake,.
One more thing I would like to mention. When i crawl into bed and drift off to "The Land of Nod", i almost always find myself waking up there. I go to sleep here and wake up, still drowsy, in a different bed, but knowing where I am and who I am.
This was just a quick synopsis of my dream world and how i believe it relates to parallel dimensions. If anyone is interested, I have dreams and stories from the other side that could last for days. Do the math: between 4- 10 dreams a night, every night. Almost always remembering every detail. I have a lot written down, but more in my memory, stored, hoping someday to possibly write a book, or one of the movies or musicals I saw in the other world.
I would like to do a sleep study someday, but I wouldn't know what to say as to why. It's not really a medical reason, so insurance wouldn't cover it. I wish there was a scientist out there, studying dreams and other dimensions. If there was, I would be the perfect candidate.
Until then, if anyone happens to find my dreamworld interesting, amusing, or has had similar occurrences, Please let me know.
Sleep well. Don't fear. Namaste.
I certainly have no shortages of dream stories to tell....I just don't have enough time left on earth to tell them all.
Good night all...I'm off to "the Land of Nod" again. Hopefully I will only visit the other world no more than 5 times tonight......it takes a toll on my waking life.
I have never written about it before,maybe the fact that you are all a bunch of strangers that can't judge me helps me to speak my dark into the light. I've gotta be at work in a few hours, and I have an extremely tough job, being an SUD counselor for addicts in a recovery home, so I have to be on-point. Thanks again for listening to an old lady drag on about nothing and everything at the same time. I appreciate all of you. There is purpose, both in this life and the next, I can promise you that!

Sorry for the long rant. First time Reddit user. My boyfriend is an amazing guy. He is my best friend and a real sweetheart too. We met in High School and have been in a relationship for 8 years now. We have never broken up before nor have we had a break for all this 8 years. We have even been talking about marriage lately and plan to get married in around 2 years.
I like to think that we have a very healthy relationship. We are great with each others friends and family and hang out a lot as well. We fight for petty reasons mostly and also over our differences but somehow come to a middle point or a compromise always. We have never fought about other guys or girls in our relationship nor have we fought about exes as he has only one and this is my first. We have no jealousy issues in our relationship too.
I have very high morals and standards in any relationship and the reason behind this is because my parents had a very rocky marriage and my mom ended up cheating on my dad. So as a principle I don’t lie/ backstab or hide things and try to keep things as straightforward as possible. My boyfriend has told me that he admires this about me and wishes he was more like me.
My boyfriend on the other hand is a guy who doesn’t like to hurt people’s feelings and a huge people pleaser too. He also tends to be a bit of a pushover at times.I have pointed this out to him and he agrees and he has been working on this too.
Last November he told me that he was going to hang out with some ex co-workers and there was one co worker (25F) whom I have always not got a great vibe about. Everytime they met up at university he would always tell me everything about her which would make me cringe because she stands for everything that I don’t. Somehow I don’t control him on whom to hang out with and not as he is an adult. He stayed late that night and was in touch with me too via message and told me things like they were waiting for dinner and all. Usually we stay up for each other to get home.
He texted me at around 12.45 a.m. saying that he will be getting a lift from one of the people there and not to stay up for him and left me a message at about 2 saying he got home. He called me afterwards to spill the tea and was mostly talking about this female ex coworker’s life and failed relationships as they had been talking about it.
Fast forward this January he posted a birthday wish for her and for some reason it made me feel very uncomfortable as he does not do birthday wishes for anyone including me. When asked he got awkward and said that he did not think I expected such things and said he did it cuz she expects such things and to compensate for forgetting her birthday last year. Following this weird encounter I checked his chat with her to see if she had told him to do the post and cuz I was curious (something I usually don’t do) and found out that he was with her that night ALONE got drunk on beer and had even taken a cab to her house and dropped her. He had even texted her saying I can’t believe we were that drunk on beer and had a nice time with you.
On the other hand she had also requested him to invite me to the dinner which he never mentioned to me.
When I confronted about him at first he still tried to cover up his lie. I told him to call the friend who gave him a lift and he even pretended to. However once he realized he messed up he broke into tears and begged for forgiveness. I told him that he had broken my trust and that I didn’t know what happened that night between him and her. He swore nothing happen and told me that I could call her and check too. I told him I want out of this relationship but the fact that he was going through a tough time too made me stay. I wanted to be there for this through all his pain and guilt.
We are still together but I can’t get over the fact that he lied to me. He keeps swearing that nothing happened but I am not sure I can trust that. I have given him many opportunities to come clean but his story remains the same. That he had to continue lying to maintain his first lie that it was a group hangout. He said he kept thinking about it ever since.
I feel disgusted that I found out this way and it scares to think that he may have never told me about this. I don’t want to be suspicious about him but the fact that he lied about this meetup at the first place makes me think otherwise. Fun fact: the same situation happened in my parent’s relationship which was how they started growing apart. My boyfriend knows this too.
There is a huge distance in us nowadays and I feel like I’m not attracted to him as I was before. I do really love him though but I don’t know what to do.
P.s: I have no intention of calling the woman or asking her anything as she had even invited me over so I don’t think she has done anything wrong from her end.
What should I do?

This series isn't as popular as Broken Earth which is Jemisin's magnum opus to date. I don't think there's much debate there. But the world of Sky is so rich in detail and characters that I can't help but be disappointed that there's not much fanart. Naha, Sieh, Yeine, Itempas, Oree have art but not much about the rest of the world. Or if there is, maybe someone can point me in the right direction? When I search Kingdom of Gods fan art I get white Jesus. And this series really deserves some serious art. I would do it myself but I have no artistic capacity in me. I think I can go as far as differentiating between cyan and cerulean (thank you Miranda Priestley). But look at this description of a godling called Nsana.
Nsana smiled, strolling toward me along a path of flowers that stirred without wind. For a moment his truest shape flickered before me: faceless, the color of glass, reflecting our surroundings through the distorting lenses of limbs and belly and the gentle featureless curve of his face. Then he filled in with detail and colors, though not those of a mortal. He did nothing like mortals if he could help it. So he had chosen skin like fine fabric, unbleached damask in swirling raised patterns, with hair like the darkest of red wine frozen in midsplash. His irises were the banded amber of polished, petrified wood—beautiful, but unnerving, like the eyes of a serpent.
Where can I find art of these characters? Or if someone does fan art, please make one for this trilogy? Please.

I have been Christian for about about 8 months, and it's been a life changing experience. I've been trying so hard to remove the things from my life I should stop doing, and it was going so well, until the past couple months. I met someone who started as a friend and quickly became my best friend, and then that also progressed quickly into a romantic attraction. This feeling has been getting stronger for months and I couldn't even begin to explain the love I have for him. He loves me too. I can so easily see our future together, it just looks so beautiful. But I can't let myself do anything because I feel I should wait until marriage, and he doesn't even wait until relationship. He's a broken person but I still love him more than words could ever say. I wish he could just have been saved. I have never felt pain quite as bad as this. I don't really know if this is asking for advice or just simply inviting conversation, but I don't have any other place to talk about this because everyone else I could ask would simply say " just stop being Christian" but that thought has never even been considered by me, it's not an option. But this pain is drawing me back into my old ways of living and I just can't seem to find the strength I used to have to take control of temptation when I'm hurting this bad. I don't know what to do and I wish I could just have never fallen in love with someone I can't be with.

It would also help a ton if I could get info on if I should get rid of some mods that conflict or do essentially the same thing, ultimately I'm looking to make my character look as hot as possible with the skin mods etc. as I am your classic anime bro so if I could also get help on how to make that happen with the mods I already have downloaded it would help so much! Okay so in order my LO is:

1. Unofficial Skyrim Special Edition Patch [USSEP] by arthmoor
2. Monster Armor by clofas1
3. Black Thief Suit - CBBE Curvy by squeezie15
4. Another Vampire Leather Armor by carrorune
5. Dark Dreams CBBE (1k) by squeezie15
6. n8k Black Rose - CBBE Nephilim by MorriganHellsing
7. [Melodic] Hestia - CBBE Curvy by MorriganHellsing
8. The Expanded World of Bikini Armor CBBE - By PUMPKIN by MorriganHellsing
9. The Amazing World Of Bikini Armor - CBBE by MorriganHellsing
10. Unofficial TAWOBA Add on Armors by MorriganHellsing
11. Dremora Markynaz Armor SE 1k by WillOhTheWisp
12. Falka Armor By Kozakowy by Raxxinate
13. Hoods with Hairs By zzjay and Grace Darkling by Vexona
14. Ordinator - Perks of Skyrim by EnaiSiaion
15. Less Trees 33% Reduction by SkyFall_515
16. SFO Definitive Edition By Skyfall by SkyFall_515
17. Renthal's Flora Collection - All In One 1k by StoneSpiralGaming
18. Renthal's Ferns by StoneSpiralGaming
19. Definitive Beauty Pack by MorriganHellsing
20. KS Hairsyles - DkR's selection by InvisibleHummingbird
21. CBBE - Diffuse (Texture) FairSkin v10.1 RC2 by MorriganHellsing
22. CBBE - Specular Sporty Sexy Sweat by MorriganHellsing
23. Feminine Females by LegendOfYore
24. Immersive Citizens - AI Overhaul by arnaud.dorchymont
25. Civil War Patrols by ZenoOfElea
26. Seranaholic 1.7 by WillOhTheWisp
27. Civil War Checkpoints by kenpatdan3
28. JK's Skyrim - All in One by jkrojmal & Teabag86 by campolo313
29. BIG: More Kill Moves and Decapitations by sp0ckrates
30. [XB1] Insignificant Object Remover by AKcelsior
31. Enhanced Blood Textures by dDefinder
32. Lady Miraak (XB1) by guicool138
33. Lady Miraak - Dragonborn Follower by AcenJay
34. Lady Arkay - New And Improved CBBE by MeisterB
35. Abby the Fire Mage Follower by TeluraVas
36. TAWOBA - Followers by MorriganHellsing
37. Civil War & Thalmor War Immersion Bundle by XilaMonstrr
38. A Quality World Map - Vivid with Stone Roads by Chesko
39. A Quality World Map - Clear Map Skies
40. Caliente's Beautiful Bodies Enhancer -CBBE (Official) - Curvy AIO by ousnius
41. Keo's Skimpy Outfits - CBBE Curvy
42. Morrigan's NPC Replacer by MorriganHellsing
43. Morrigan's NPC Replacer - Assets by MorriganHellsing
44. RUNP Textures only without body mesh by MariaKH
45. CBBE - All Ladies Are Young
46. XP32 Maximum Skeleton Special Extended With TBBP Animations- XPMSSE & TB by MorriganHellsing
47. Scales Like Broadswords - House of the Dragon Edition by substill

These are all of my mods currently in my LO. If I could get any help optimizing it and perhaps making sure my character looks friggin amazing I would be so grateful for your help.

For my English class we read Gone With the Wind, one of the most beautiful and significant works of American literature ever created. During discussion I heard a lot of talk about pro-confederate revision, racism, misogyny, etc.
The novel takes place in the south during The Civil War. Of course it’s racist by today’s standards. Of course Scarlett O’Hara, who is an extremely complex and fascinating female character, can be viewed as a misogynist portrayal under modern feminism.
Maybe it’s because I’m young, but it honestly made me sad how the discussion was derailed with faux pas social justice talking points. I’m so tired of not being able to discuss themes not centered around modern day talking points. I know the best thing to do is just let it go, but even the professor did not care to steer the discussion back on topic of character analysis. The conclusion was basically that this novel is racist and sexist. I learned nothing from this discussion.

So I have been keeping this for a couple of months. I (26F) have been with my fiancé Ale (27M) for 2 year but I’ve known him when I was a freshmen in high school and he was sophomore. He was with his deceased ex wife Lorraine when they were in middle school. I always kinda had feelings for Ale, even when I was in relationship with my ex boyfriend from high school, we broke up of course. But Ale has two kids Basil (8M) and Birdie (3F). I love those kids as my own and see them as my own. He was married to his deceased ex wife Lorraine when she was 18 and he was 19. Had their son after they got married. Sadly Lorraine passed away from child birth with their daughter Birdie. I consulted him when he was grieving. After a year of her passing we got into a relationship. He’s the best partner I can ever ask for and we are getting married in summer of July. Birdie sees me as her mother and Basil sees me more as an aunt than a mom. I was always auntie Coco but my name is Celia. Basil does have a picture of him with his mom and Ale and him when she was 5 months pregnant with Birdie. He does not have a picture of us together as a family. He still misses his mom. I was kinda a little jealous of Lorraine. Especially during high school. Sometimes I wish I was the birth mother of Basil and Birdie. I wished I had his kids first and Ale doesn’t want anymore kids biologically. Because he told me he only wanted Lorraine to have his kids. He had a vasectomy. He told me he rather just adopt, or I use a sperm donor which makes me upset. I felt so insecure, about all of it. Thinking Lorraine is in the way. All of Ale’s friends knew Lorraine In and out. Since they all knew each other in middle school and had the same old friend group growing up all together. Especially Ale’s best friend Jordan. He adored Lorraine. So did his wife Ruth, which is Lorraine’s best friend. I know them but I am not close to them. They all talk about Lorraine from time to time. About the things they used to do. They are the godparents of Basil and Birdie. So they’re around a lot. I however didn’t know Lorraine that much, but she was nice to me. It felt fake tho. So I wasn’t really a big fan of her. But respected her enough. I felt kinda like I was intruding in Ale’s beautiful family. I remember going through the attic and finding some of Lorraine’s and Ale’s belongings. With photos from middle school to before her passing. Also with Ale’s old gifts that Lorraine given him to Lorraine’s gifts from Ale have given her. A lot of horses as Lorraine grew up on a horse ranch and loved horses. Ale was keeping this for his kids to give when they were older. To treasure their mothers stuff. I also found another box filled with Lorraine’s collection of old vintage and antique stuff of horses and gifts from her friends, Ale’s friends, and family, and Ale’s family. I got jealous as Ale was planning on giving this stuff of Lorraine’s horse collection and gifts to Birdie. Ale has already given Birdie Lorraine’s old stuff zebra when she was a young child and given Basil an old knife that belonged to Lorraine’s grandfather. All I know is, I wanted everything gone. When Ale took Basil and Birdie to Lorraine’s parents house for a few days. I stayed back because of work. I knew this was an opportunity to get rid of Lorraine’s stuff and photos. So I took the knife and the stuff zebra, all the photos of Lorraine in it and her antique horse collection. Burned all the photos threw her antique collection away and destroyed some. Cut open all the stuff toys of Lorraine’s and letters she wrote. Destroyed every single thing of hers. I felt satisfied knowing she won’t be a bother and nothing to be jealous of anymore. I felt happy and not remorseful. When Ale and the kids came back, I pretended as nothing happened and was just normal. It only took a few days when they noticed. Especially Basil he couldn’t find his photo of him and his mother or the knife. He raised awareness of the disappearance of the stuff, which got Ale searching for the zebra. But couldn’t have been found. We did moved to a new house few months after. Ale searched through the attic to pack stuff and noticed that only Lorraine’s stuff were all gone. Her collection, childhood stuff, their pictures together, letters, gifts. Just everything. He searched frantically for it. He did questioned me as he knew about my insecurities and jealousy of Lorraine. But I told him that I would never do anything like that. He believed me. Thinking he left her stuff back at the old house. Even to this day he still doesn’t know. Basil is however heart broken which got me feeling a bit sad. Lorraine’s parents and friends are very sad about it. As Ale did tell his friends and everyone. His family is sad about it. Because they loved Lorraine like a daughter. I wish they loved me like one. But I know I can’t ever compare to her. Ale’s friends are also so sad about what happened. Everyone is sad. But they don’t know a thing.. Even Birdie is sad about the zebra. But that thing was old and gross. So I got her a new one. She doesn’t love it like her old one but she sleeps with it once and a while. I don’t think I can ever tell Ale or anyone this. But feels good to take it off my chest. Only person I really told were my two best friends Mandy and Hollie. Mandy knows Ale but in high school they really weren’t that close. But still hung out and Hollie didn’t really like Ale that much she only knows him because she dated his friend Maxwell in high school to college on and off. Until Maxwell got married with a kid on the way. However Mandy and Hollie have told me what I did wasn’t right. But they won’t tell anyone. So I feel safe knowing they won’t tell Ale or anyone of his friends and family.

I wrote this after having a conversation with my dad that left me absolutely shattered. I can’t find a way to cope.
—-
The one thing movies always tell you about divorce is having to choose sides.
Watching movies like Parent Trap taught me:
Mom is right and dad is wrong.
Or
Dad is right and mom is wrong.
But before divorce, it’s a constant battle of pointing fingers and slamming doors.
Nonetheless, Hollywood never prepared me to start thinking about sending separate graduation invites, having a “family” picture of two, or saying “parent” instead of parents.
After 27 years of marriage, my parents are on the brink of the divorce.
The most painful part of being the unofficial middleman, who swore to never get involved but had to anyway, is seeing how fragile the concept of family can be.
First, it started with sleeping on opposite ends of the bed and awkward mornings. Then, there was a regular pillow on my unused childhood bedroom. Now, the only sound at night is from the static of the TV.
It wasn’t always like this. For us and in our culture, family is pride. It became one of my core pillars as an adult, often caring for those around me. For my dad, an unified family became his ultimate duty as a man.
Every year, without fail, my parents and I would take a picture with Santa Claus at the mall on my birthday, December 24th.
Family pictures were tokens of love, pride, and hope. We carried pictures in our wallets, phones, and even had them awkwardly glued to the walls of my room. Our home was filled of photo albums that I had snuck into my luggage 10 years ago, which is the last time we visited China. We would spend our evenings reminiscing; talking about my mom’s trendy 90’s pixie hair cut or the farm where my dad grew up in. We spent the most time talking about the latter, as my dad spent most of his childhood and teenage years surrounded by family in a place that no longer exists.
While my parents were once a poster couple, who successfully immigrated to a different country with barely $20 in their pockets, they are on the brink of divorce.
My dad, a once tall and strong man, who took pride in providing for his family, had now been overcome by old-age. Someone who had always been kind, most times felt like picking a fight with my mom. But I saw a fragile man, who felt helpless because he was no longer able to be the provider of the house. Someone who used to carried sacks of rice like paper could barely lift some grocery bags. A man who never shown emotion and was the protector of the home, cried for the first time in front of me, chasing after my mom.
They had been arguing for the last three months, which prompted me to visit home, in hopes of helping repair their relationship.
As we sat in the pavement of our home in Mexico after my mom said the D-word, my dad pointed out the beauty of the night lights. “When I am unhappy, I come here to watch them. They make me smile.” I sat by his side and held his arm, and in that moment, I realized how the image I had of my dad had been slowly consumed by the daily pills he takes to keep his diabetes and high-blood pressure in check. I hugged him.
He recounted a story about the last time he saw his mother, before she passed away from liver cancer. She had been in so much pain that all she could do was a peace sign rather than speak. “She missed you. She didn’t say it but I knew that’s what she meant.” He slightly laughed. But I couldn’t help but keep crying.
After being away for 7 years, studying in New York, I always felt jealous of those who were able to go home to both parents after school.
“It’s ok, don’t worry about us. Everything will be ok.” He said.
In our culture, we never really learn how to say I love you. Instead, we do things like cutting up fruit for each other or asking what we ate for dinner.
So, although I wanted to comfort my dad, I couldn’t find the words to do it. Instead, I let him ramble on about the nuisances of work.
At some point, he stopped and said again “We’ll be okay. I will keep everything in my heart. I know I messed it up today too.”
I felt my foundation shake with those words. My core value of family was cracking. Did this mean divorce could actually happen?
Doubtful and still building up the courage to break past our cultural ideologies, I gourged out “I love you, dad” in broken cantonese.
He became silent.
It was the first time I had ever said “I love you” to my dad.
“Call me more often. I miss you,” I said awkwardly. “Regardless of the outcome, you’re still my dad. I love you.”
He looked at me and nodded his head.
“Thank you.” Were the only words my dad could blurt out before pointing at the lights again.