Part 1
I stood up, awaken from my sleep from the knocking sound on the elevator door. My friends stood up with me as we all heard it. The sound of banging became so much louder. Giggling can be heard with it. What's behind the door is unknown and I'd rather not face it than die to this thing. In the edges of the door, thin fingers began to seep through it. Such horrible looking fingers. I watched the door getting turned into a broken mess. Something grabbed my hand and I saw it was Rishika's. I looked at her and saw fear and sadness on her face.
Questioning death can be answered by judgement, revenge, luck, curse, or just nothing. The concept fate over people sounds so simple that people think that it's ok that fate exists. Is it ok if I was in this situation? What if one of your loved ones died right in front of you by a murderer? You won't like it and you'd definitely blame god for that.
The door is beginning to make an opening. Sweat rapidly runs down on my forehead. My eyes widened with terror as I see the creature's face. It's as accurately described from the documentary. Its teeth shines like bright white marbles and its eyes are like melted butter. The creature's face slowly gets closer, while we stepped far back until there's no space for us to move anymore.
I can feel the cold shivering breath from its mouth. The breath that smells empty. From what I've heard, it's much stronger than the one we just ran away from. Ronald immediately punches the creature's face with his metallic fist. Steam pulses out from the gaps of it. He kept punching at it again and again but to no avail. It still not injured nor shown any pain. He only manages to recoil it farther back.
With a one quick slice, Ronald's hands fell to the ground. His scream was painful and terrifying to hear. I can see his face was in pain. Eyes widened with tears flowing down to his cheek. "Ronald!!" I heard Billy screamed out loud. Of course, this doesn't make any difference as the creature slowly crept closer and closer to us. I witness Ronald dying with his sockets bleeding so much blood. His eyes faded of life. If only he hadn't try to kill it out of bravery, he would've lived longer with us before our lives are taken away.
Its jaw started to open. The sounds of bone cracking can be heard within its teeth. The smile on its face grew more and more eerie. It laughs like a maniac ready to pounce on their victims. Such insanity can break people's minds with a laugh. I froze in place by the laugh. There's nowhere else me and my friends can escape from. What else can we do. Our weapons are futile here and this creature is far beyond comprehension.
Its many arms spread around the elevator room, trying to grab us with its menacing hands. We're going to die here and that's that. This would've been a goodbye to the world. I don't know the dead world in this universe. Many different universes should have a different afterlife. Here, I don't think there's a safe place after death.
Then, something happened right in front of our eyes. The creature was being pulled back by something. Something inside the darkness. I can hear it's the same women who saved me from the pale face. We couldn't see anything in the darkness but Billy's flames can surely help us along the way. I took his flamethrower and a torch. Lighting up the torch with it carefully. Not wanting to burn us. Turning off the flamethrower, I lighted the area with my torch in hand and saw them clashing each other with blade like arms.
We stepped out of the elevator with Ronald's dead body on Cody's arms. Why would Cody keep holding on to him for? He's already dead and there's no way for us to say a better goodbye. I guess maybe he wanted to bury him somewhere which I honored that idea.
She cuts the jaw of the creature that it screams the way a person should. I can see the whole body of the creature. It was humanoid and tall. About 9 feet tall and its body is dark skeletal human. It grabbed her with its large hand and threw her off into the wall. She crushes onto the wall with such heavy force. A groan can be heard from her before a blade penetrates through her abdomen. Her screams are both man and woman at the same time.
It's horrifying to hear someone scream like that if they're just human. In fact, it'll be much terrifying if she'd sounded like millions of voices.
She grabbed its face with her free arm and tears its face off. Its eyes bounces to the ground with a flesh grinding mush sound. The screams that came from within its voice box made a deafening pain in our ears that we both covered them with our hands.
The woman digs her sharp fingers into the creature eye sockets with the sound of digging flesh. She then splits its head with the pull of her hands. Black and bloody flesh spread onto the walls and ground. One of its discarded flesh landed on my shoe. My stomach twists and turns. Watching her brutally kill it while flesh and blood spills. I gagged, watching her 3 fingered hands dig into its throat and pulled out its large heart.
Geralt vomited to the ground, spilling the acid from his stomach. That didn't bother me. Instead I watched her feast on the heart. The sound of chewing on flesh and blood made me sick to my stomach from an imaginary smell of rotten flesh. The creature's body slowly melts away to the ground. Rendering it to be dead into a puddle of flesh and bone. There's now nothing left of it. Just a puddle.
"Holy shit." With just one word came out from Billy's mouth, the woman turns her head to look at us. Her eyes seemingly looked bright and harmless. Not sure whether or not if this is a tactic to hunt or it's really her instinct. The familiar color of her right eye caught my attention.
She fell to the ground with a big gap in her abdomen. Heavy breaths came out from her voice as she slowly gets back up on her feet. The light from my torch reveals her hoodie to be grey and the gap in her abdomen slowly began to heal itself. Small tendrils from the sides of the gap stitching back together.
I stepped back, giving ourselves space in order for us to escape if she'd attack us. I held my hammer high and so does my friends with their weapons. "Darwin wait!" Did I just heard her say my name? I didn't know what to do or how to react. Either it's just a hallucination or trickery. "How did you know my name?" I asked with the fear in my voice.
"I uh. I just guessed I suppose." Her eyes were on the dead Ronald in Cody's arms. She looked saddened by it. Even grieved. She shook her head and went back to to us with a clear voice. "But that doesn't matter. You all need to get out of here before he gets here."
"Who's he?" Geralt asked with both curious and nerving tone in his voice. Her eyes are widened in fear. An expression I never thought she could do and feel about. "Cain. He's coming here and you all need to get out of here."
I've heard about Cain before. You might know this story from a book. It's about 2 brothers, sons of Adam and Eve. Abel being the most favored man of god, while Cain being the least favorite and jealous. Cain killed his brother out of jealousy. God is not happy about this and he casted him away with a curse. He's just a man. Maybe who she was saying was someone who is also named Cain.
"How are we supposed to get out?" Said Cody.
"I can help you get out. We just need to go outside and find the pool of clean water. But, it'll be far away, so we need to hurry up." She walked passed us quickly in a hurry. Billy was going to ask but I lay his shoulders, giving him a metaphor of saying no. Of course, he grunted from that. Rishika gave a face wash to Geralt. He gladly takes it and wipes his mouth and stained jacket.
We followed her through the hallways of the darkness. Our torches lighted brightly around the darkness. I was behind the woman whose guiding us to the exit. I haven't thought of asking her name. For someone like her, she should have. The voids blood doesn't seem to affect her mind but I don't think that's really the case.
The image of her blue eyes makes me recollect the memories of my long distant past. I still don't understand. How could she be so familiar to me, even know my name. We never met each other and we're from different worlds. Either it could be she had mind reading powers or just a simple guess. "Thanks for saving us back there. What's your name."
"My name's..." She looked unsure as to what to say or even know her name. I think she was hiding her true identity which I can understand that. Hiding your own identity from other people is a good way to keep yourself safe. But you needed to plan and design your own disguise. You need to come up with a story that doesn't give confusion or any cracks for people to get suspicious. Famous people like movie stars or scientist or anybody related to that stuff mostly do this to avoid getting attention.
With a warm and calm voice, she answered. "My name is Enid."
"Sounds good. Why did you save us? How are you still in control of yourself?"
"I saved you because I wanted to save you all. I was never the kind of hero or something but I still have the heart to save you all. And I'm losing a bit of my strength holding myself together. Everyday, I have to eat the creatures here. You've encountered them before. If I don't eat them, I'm going to turn into them. Turn into the void. But the more I eat, the closer I'm going to turn myself in. I'm glad you guys are safe, but I feel bad to see your friend die. Sorry that I'm too late to save all of you in one piece."
"Yeah. Wished he had enough time for you to arrive. He was a brave and cool friend to have a part of the team. He's always telling stories about greek gods and mythologies. He's a boxer too. I think he would consider you to be one of us."
"Really?"
"Yeah, of course. He kinda sometimes look scary to me in the night but he's a really good man." Geralt joins with us with a nervous look on his face. His eyes are tired as ours but they're wide enough for us to see his shining eyes. Enid returned smile on her face, but it faded away quickly in a short amount of time.
We finally left the building safely with her guidance. The bright shining sky brightens around us. Giving us the comfort of our safety. But still, we grieved the death of Ronald. Billy grieved the most out of everyone else. He kept muttering all over and over while we were following Enid. His mutterings, from what I can hear are apologize. "Billy. It's not your fault. I think he knew as well."
"No it is. I kept saying mean and horrible things to many of you but mostly it's on him. I just wanted him to think I'm strong and all. I'm lost Darwin. And I shouldn't have said those awful things. All I want was to show you all that I'm strong. But look at me. I'm bloody weak and I can't do anything to protect you all. All I can do is to just stand still and spout bullshit."
He began sobbing so terribly that it shocks me to my core. His face turning red and he fell to his knees, unable to stand back up. We all stopped to try to at least give him the comfort we wanted give him. We've never seen him in such a state like this. Throughout our times together, he always acts like a jerk but now he's crying right in front of us. I didn't know what else to do except to sit down next to him. Ronald's body is now pale in Cody's arms. His eyes were shut.
"I know how it feels, Billy." Rishika, already knelt down in front of Billy, said with a warm tone in her voice. This has got to be the 3rd or 4th time I've heard her say a full sentence. Either way, it was encouraging. Billy doesn't seem to be able to reply. None of us does. "I used to be harsh and cruel to others because I wanted them to accept me. But I was wrong because that's not how it works. We can both change together. It's ok to be on your good side. It won't be too bad. I think Ronald would like that too."
"Look at me. Do I look like I can?"
"We all can. It's just how we grow in life."
"I don't know. Ronald's dead and I'm left to be the one who carries his death on my back. I don't think he'll ever forgive me."
"No. We don't know that. But what matters is that you move on instead of staying behind. I know it's hard but you have to if you want to change. It's ok to be scared. We're all scared."
"Yeah. Even me too. I get scared a few times but that doesn't mean that others will look down on me." Geralt stutters a bit in his voice but kept the strength to say those words.
"Same here. Even that I'm this, I'm still scared too." Enid joins in with a sad look on her face. For someone like her, I thought she never felt fear. I guess there are others like her can feel that way.
I wanted to tell him something too. Something that feels connecting to each other that I don't want him to be left alone. "You don't have to do this alone. I'm scared too and that's alright because that's human. We can help you Billy. You're our friend. And I think Ronald would consider you as a friend too."
Billy wipes his tears away with his sleeve. We all sat there for a few seconds before Cody lays his hand on his shoulder, which makes Billy hug him back. "It's ok. We're here." Ronald's body lay on the boulder 5 feet away from us. Cody reaches his arms as a gesture for us to join in. We all did. So is Enid. I didn't think anything else but to be on Billy's side.
Suddenly, our moment was interrupted by a thunderous noise came out of nowhere. Enid's eyes are widened in terror. The world around us shook from the thunder. In the sky, the small clouds started to turn from grey to the color of blood. Enid jumps right up, catching a look above as we all stare into the sky. What I saw gave me enough imagination to fear whatever the unknown has.
Large gigantic shining eyes watch over the world below us from the sky. Its pupils are too big that they nearly reached the edge of their sockets. The grin of that thing gave me enough horror to freeze in my tracks. How nightmarish it is to see a gigantic abomination such as this in the morning and night. People would definitely scream and run all over the place while the cloud's face watches over them like a eldritch god.
By the time I stepped back, it turned its menacing eyes towards me. I felt like it was staring into my soul. My very soul in my body. Its own saliva dripping from its mouth. Hungry for our souls. It didn't move nor spoke a word. Thunderous noises kept coming from the abomination. They were red lightning and menacing. If people get hit by them, I'm pretty sure they'll turn into whatever nightmarish flesh creature they'll turn into.
"Guys! We have to go! There's not much time!" Edin ran and so we followed. Cody picked up Ronald's body with us. Billy gained back his strength to run. And I slowly started to run as I kept staring at its menacing eyes. It doesn't leave me alone. I don't see it following me or do anything than to smile with evil intentions. This is different than the ones we encountered. Not because of their looks. It's because I knew its intentions and the void creatures, I don't.
A great thunderous red beam shot out from the abomination's mouth and a loud boom can be heard far away from us. The sound snapped me out and I began to run as fast as I can, trying to keep up the pace of my friends and Enid.
Nothing else happened as we run to our exit. The thunderous noises kept booming around us as the clouds above slowly turned into blood red. A drop of rain hit my forehead. I touched it with my finger tip and saw blood. The rain is full of blood. I nearly slipped to the ground but my jacket was caught by Geralt. "Don't worry Darwin! I got you!" He pulled me up and ran.
The feeling of getting closer to something crept inside my chest that I began to feel the sensation of hope. Hope is said to be for the weak but I say otherwise. Hope may be a blind way to believe in something but sometimes it can be true to which we reach to something we can achieve.
Enid stopped in her tracks. There, right in front of us, was a pool of clean water. It doesn't make sense. It's raining blood and there, at the pool, it's clean. Droplets of blood dripped into the pool, then faded away into the clean water. We were shocked to see the pool to be clean in the middle of a shower of blood. The atmosphere suddenly turned red. Dark red flames started emerging around the world. It's everywhere and I can hear the distant screams behind me. The screams are hard for me to explain. They're like mixed with many variety of species all together into a rhyme of symphony.
I turned around to see something dark falling from the sky above into the ground like a falling star. The world shakes beneath us. I knelt down to get balance as I kept watching the falling darkness land onto the world. Far away, a dark silhouette rises from the ground. It looked to be tall. I could guess it's 4 feet taller than us. My eyes can't see clearly due to the silhouette being too far away. More of them began to rise as more fell from the abomination.
I turned myself around, nearly losing my balance. Cody held Rishika by the arm and Billy knelt beside Geralt. Enid reached her hands out into the pool. Sparks of bright light emitted from her arms, spreading light around her. The pool began to slowly swirl into a vortex as the sparks of light began to increase. The harsh blow of the wind hits us, making me fall to the ground.
Then, a bolt of light sparked into life in Enid's grip. The bolt was so bright that I shielded my eyes from it. It's so that I won't get blinded by the light. I looked back to see that something is walking towards us from far away of our tracks. I don't know if it's just me hallucinating or if it's really real. I think I can hear laughter. A humane laughter. It's like it came from a demon king. The dark silhouettes at the sky fly around with their wings.
Their wings are of a bat and their body was humanoid and blood red. Their mouths are menacingly enough to make me push myself away from it as far as I can. It shrieks so loudly that I can hear it from that distance. It began to fly towards us and its claws like a hawks are ready to grab one of us to feast on. I stood back up as the world turned still. I pulled out my hammer, ready to defend myself from it.
The demon nearly scratched my face before a bullet teared through the side of its brain. I turned my head to see Rishika, already wielding her sniper rifle. "I got you." She turned around and shot another bullet at another demon.
I heard a crushing noise coming from Cody. He slams his club right at a demons head, exploding it on impact. The demon wore an armor set of dark stones that could come from hell itself. It was carrying a blade that shines pure diamond. Geralt penetrating his spear at the demons chest, electrocuting it from a high voltage. "Holy shit! This is crazy!" A shout came from his voice. A voice of panic.
I turned around when I felt something was approaching me. There was a demon with 4 arms and held a large hammer, bigger than the one I wielded. Its face full of hatred that Its eyes glared into my soul. I quickly swung my hammer by the time it swings its own at me. Our hammers clashes together, making a loud slam around us. It swung again but I jumped away from its heavy blow. It's the good thing we had those boots. They're able to give us enough push to jump twice higher than the original person can.
I then swung my hammer directly at its face. I made impact as its face tears apart from the slam of my hammer. A crunching sound can be heard from its skull. Its head exploded into a pool of blood with scattered flesh and bones.
I landed on my feet and watched the world turned into the new hell as dark flames emitted everywhere around the buildings and the ground. More demons are rushing towards us in a pack. So many of them with many horrifying different forms. My body is shaking from the fear I had in me. I nearly dropped my hammer as sweat begins to appear on my hands. I bumped my back as I stepped behind. Geralt, Rishika, Cody, and myself are close together with our weapons in hand. They're all sweating with fear on their faces. There's too many of them for us to take them down. "Come on! Let's show those freaks what we're made of!" Shouted Geralt. By the times we raised our weapons and the demons now 10 feet away from us, a bright blue flame blazes the demons. They scream in pain and hatred as they slowly melted into a sludge of fried flesh.
"I'm not going to let those bloody fuckers take you all away from me!" Billy's face is mixed with fear and anger. Feeling very glad that he joined us. If not for him, we would be brutally killed by the horrifying demons. Then, a loud burst of water and electricity emerged from behind us. Enid faces us with wide eyes. "Get in now!"
"Will it take us home!?" Geralt asks with a panic in his voice. I can see the sweat pouring down on Enid's face as she stares back at us in a hurry. "No but it'll take you somewhere safe! Somewhere you can start a new life!"
Cody, with Ronald's body in his arms, is the first to get in the portal. By the time he jumps into the portal in the pool, a flash of blue energy can be seen emerging out of it. Then goes for Geralt. He was scared at first as he cowers back. "Will I be hurt if I fall?"
"Don't worry. You'll be fine." And so, he jumps in and flashes of light emerges out.
Then goes for Billy. He looked back at Enid for a moment before he jumps into the portal.
Lastly, Rishika stops near the edges of the pool. She turned around to see Enid with a hurried look on her face but also with relief. "Thank you Eddie." Then she jumps into the portal.
Did I just heard her right? Did she just said my lost friend's name. "What did she just say?"
She looked at me with a sad look in her blue eye. I felt a connection between us, as if we've known each other. I don't understand. Why would Rishika say his name. Enid is a woman to say the least or she's really something else. A sudden memory flashed before my eyes.
I remembered the time Eddie shape shifted into the Ice cream man. It was a time when we were young. We both got the ice cream we wanted just for free without anyone noticing. It was funny but also worrying because we could get caught. But that never happened and still felt funny every time I remember that day.
"Eddie? You're Eddie." She nodded in reply. A gesture of yes. Then, right in front of my eyes, she formed into a grown up version of Eddie. The Eddie I remembered. My heart felt shocked as to what I've just learned. I ran to her and hugged her deeply than I could've ever done. We both hugged for a moment until she gently pushes me off. Tears started to appear beneath my eyes. I don't know what I was feeling but what I can say was joy. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because I knew you would drag me with you If I tell you. You have to understand that I have to stay here. This is where I belong and I'm too dangerous to be with you."
"But we can figure things out together! We can go back to hanging out with each other! Play video games! Explore the world! Everything!"
"No Darwin. We can't. I'm a part of the void and I'm slowly losing myself. My left part of my face is nearly turning into the void."
"But we can fix that! We just need to find the answers to how we can get you better! I can't! I don't want to lose you again! I-"
"Darwin!" A shout came from his voice. I stopped with chills freezing behind my back. He looked at me in the eye with sadness. "I can't go back. I'm sorry I was never there for you when you graduated. I'm sorry for never waiting for you outside of school. I'm sorry for everything we could've done but we haven't! I have to save you. Even if it costs me my life. I don't want to lose you either. You have to go Darwin. There's nothing that can change my mind."
I thought I could finally bring him back. To do the things we've never have yet done. Here and now, this is our last time together. This is our last time to see each other again. He protected me wherever I go here. He saved me in order for me to live. I can't let him die here. I don't want him to be gone from me.
I hugged him tightly, not wanting to let go. Tears dripped down from his eyes and onto my head. I can feel the pain in my chest starting to rise but I didn't let go. "I'm sorry Darwin. You have to let me go. You can choose. I won't stop you."
He's right. I can't keep him with me. Throughout my life I wanted to see him again. Every night, I look out the window to see if he's there but there's no one but cars and houses. I can't keep doing this. I really have to let go. Tears pours rapidly beneath my eyes. I let go and wiped the tears from my face. "I guess this is a goodbye then."
A sad smile plastered on his face. The world around us slowly turned into darkness. The kind of darkness in hell. "It is Darwin. I'm so happy to see you again."
"Well oh well!! Look at what we have here!" A very modern European accent voice of a man emerged from the world before us. We turned to see a man with a worn off brown coat. His hat looked to be as old as the ancient times. And his face. His face made my stomach turn. Bandages wrapped around his face, except for his terrifying grin. His teeth rotten to the very core of his rotten body. I stepped behind Eddie with the hammer in my hands. The man grins much wider than I anticipated.
"You must be wondering. Who am I? Well. I'm the one and only, Cain. You might've heard me from a very recognizable book. Also, I'm afraid you two are coming with me. We have a lot to discuss and a ton of things to do together." With that, he started laughing like a total maniac. His herds of demons followed with a laugh.
"Goodbye Darwin." Eddie suddenly pushes me off into the bright blue vortex that'll be my exit. I took one last glimpse of Eddie standing before Cain. As I fell into the portal, I can hear the echoing laughter of Cain and his demons. I screamed out for Eddie but my voice was out of reach.
Then, I landed on my back on the ground. The portal disappeared before me. I quickly stood back up and reached to where the portal had opened. It was gone. I looked around to see that I'm on a hill. The dark blue night sky displayed above me with the stars shining above. My mind racing with thoughts and fear. Witnessing Eddie being alone to fight against the evil we are meant to escape from. I screamed into the sky as tears rapidly starts to appear. I fell to my knees onto the grass floor and slam my hands at the ground as I wept. I kept screaming and sobbing until I was too exhausted that I fell to the ground. I heard footsteps before me. There were many.
My body being picked up by Billy in the arm as he carries me with him. "Darwin. What happened?"
The only words I can say now were."He's gone."
​
It's been 2 years since we left that world. The world we now stand upon was nearly the same as ours. What I mean by nearly was that there are strange phenomenons happening nearly every month. A girl who can turn into a form of a robot and killed a cancerous beast in Queensland. A military war criminal who considers killing the supernatural as a job. Even the real life wendigo sightings are on the news papers. Still though, the place is still good in the morning. Except in the night, there are sometimes threats we don't know in the dark.
We built a team together, even gather some new friends along the way. Rishika grew to be more expressive and a lot more kinder to us. The time we killed a literal Bigfoot, she gave me a fist bump. Gave me a chuckle and a smile on my face.
Billy was getting better everyday. He responds to us with kind words than insults like before. After Cody had buried Ronald's body in a proper, he said his words of goodbye to him and gave him the picture he secretly held with him. It was a picture of us hanging out in a movie place. It's heart warming and depressing to witness what he did there.
Cody went off to work as a psychologist. He's still with us. It's just that he wanted to help people's mental health issues. He did really well on that one and he even gave us some advice for a change. I wouldn't consider mostly on his advice but some I can really try. That's also where he met the girl who can turn into a robot. We've met after the news broke out about an incident of a wild destruction at Queensland. Forgot to mention, we're at Australia. Just to let you all know where we are.
Finally, Geralt took pictures everywhere we go and writes down in his diary. The reason he does this is that we're in another world and thought he could take pictures of them and reflect on them. Sometimes we even got to have a photograph of us in the middle of the good times. He said it was to keep memories of our times together. A frame with a picture of literally us huddled together in a bright sunny day in Canberra.
Me? I was building a portal device, for me to teleport to different worlds. It's going to take a long time for me yes. Been building other things lately with Rishika too. Weaponry, gadgets, devices, and fixing stuff. I stuck around with my friends and we've made a great team. Made new friends along the way and learnt many things too.
2 years ago, after my moment of grief, I woke up from my exhausted moment to see my friends standing before me with a relief on their faces. I nearly cried by the picture of that moment. After that, we both watched tv together in my new bedroom inside of a hotel room. After Rishika finds a new home for us, we moved out to Melbourne Victoria as a new place of our home. We moved in to a farm house where there is a larger basement for us to do our stuff. We knew we had to get a job at this point, so we did what we can to find one. It's a good thing there's a city nearby.
Rishika, Geralt, Billy, and I took the job as being a part of an investigation of the paranormal. That's how we managed to meet up with a bunch of new friends.
I missed Eddie. I wished he could come with me and didn't have to die. But, I learnt that I can't drag him with me. He wanted to stay there. I can understand that. I know he's gone already. It's hard to let go. But sometimes we have to. To live out our lives well. I have to look forward. To better myself through experience.
This is my message to you. My readers.
You better to stay where you are now. Don't go to other universes. Because maybe, you'll end up in the most horrifying places you never want to go.

More information: https://archive.is/LUPyI
On Friday night, I had a Shavuot dinner. I had pasta with dairy sauces, bagels with lox and cream cheese, lots of full-fat cheesecake and ice cream, cheese (and some fruit) blintzes, and pizza. I also had all-butter cake.
Some foods might have had unsaturated fat, but that was minimal.

I have a 7 month old baby boy, I'm breastfeeding but baby is currently weaning.
I'm convinced that my FIL is being weird about my breastfeeding and not in a "that makes me uncomfortable" way.
I made the baby popsicles from my boob milk a few months ago and FIL put in the group chat that "I'd love to try one of those" with a hearts as eyes emoji. I said "WTF they're made from breast milk" and he said he didn't notice that caption.
Today I baked the baby some muffins. It's a recipe that called for a half cup of breast milk so I made them per recipe. FIL came over unannounced and said "oh yum, someone's been baking" so I told him "those muffins are for the baby, they're just fruit, flour and breast milk. I have a normal cake we can have".
I then left the room to wash my hands, came back and one of the muffins was missing. I asked husband and he had no idea so I asked FIL and he said that he ate it. I said that's disgusting, I told him they were the babies and contained breast milk. He doubled down and said it's ok because "breast milk is vegan" (note, no one in this story is vegan). I told him he's a creepy pervert and to get the fuck out my house.
Husband is baffled by the whole thing and was convinced it was a misunderstanding even though I explicitly said they're made with breast milk.
FIL said I'm a dick because I'd made loads and the baby wouldn't miss out.
MIL was blowing up my phone until I asked her if she was really ok with FIL drinking milk that came direct from my breast, I think she didn't get the whole story.
My sisters say it's fucking gross and FIL is a weirdo.

Happy Sunday! I added even more stuff today. Shipping is $5, no minimum, and I ship in a few days.
DESTASH
ALCHEMIC MUSE
-jezebel(5 mL, $10): warm amber, animalistic musk, sweet frankincense, and myrrh accented with a touch of dark patchouli and vanilla
ALKEMIA
-tea garden alchemy: $15
-cherry blossom alchemy: $15
-madam pearl($15):
-perfume fixative(5 mL, $10):
-The traveler and the moon(sample $2): Silver leaf tea brewed in an iron kettle, galbanum, sandalwood, petitgrain, tobacco and bamboo leaves, wild currants, raw honey, fresh hay, and a cool splash of rice wine.
-Roll In the Hay(sample $2): A delightful romp through dried hay, fresh green grass, early summer wildflower honey, vanilla grass, vanilla leaf, and wild poppy.
-Baiser Du Soleil(sample $2): black coconut musk, white musk, vanilla orchid, star jasmine, white hyacinth
-More Light!(sample $2):
-aphrodisia(sample $2):
ANDROMEDA’S CURSE
-Pumpkin Magic:(5 mL, $10) pumpkin, marshmallow, vanilla.
-bat orchid(sample, $2): Orchid, Tea, Jasmine, Incense, Oakmoss, Sandalwood, Vanilla
-the call of the void(sample, $2): French Lavender, Nag Champa, Egyptian Amber, Sandalwood, Cedarwood & Vanilla
-undead undead undead(sample, $2): Clove, Orange, Incense, Frankincense, Myrrh, Vetiver, Patchouli, Black Musk
ARCANA
-Vanilla Craves 90s Malls(5mL, $15): The scent of rebellious young punks and toothachingly sweet innocence. Bright fluorescent lights, glossy watermelon-flavored lip gloss, a ziplock baggie of fresh, green bud, and sticky vanilla-laced marshmallow treats.
-pumpkin layering note($3 shop sample)
-sugar(decant, $2)
ASTRID
-Merci no. 39:
BLACK HEARTED TART
-hips like cinderella:
BPAL(samples, $2 each of all for $10!)
-satyr:
-tlazolteotl:
-dance of death:
-tweedledum:
-death on a pale horse
-al-azif:
-plunder:
-white rabbit:
-lawful:
-black tower:
CHERRY KA’S TRUNK(samples, $3)
-a palaver:
-come and reap:
-sandalwood guns:
DEATH AND FLORAL
-honeybush($10, 5mL roller): Herbal black tea and honey with a slight floral undertone, CO2 extract
HEXENNACHT
-Fougere Accord:($3 Ajevie large sample): My prized, personal house-blended fougère (also used as part of the Wuthering Heights blend): Bulgarian lavender, silvanone, oakmoss absolute, vetiver, tonka, jasmine, cetalox, bergamot, vanillin.
-ghost of christmas past(store sample; $3): ranges, and a petrified clump of old-fashioned ribbon candies stuck to Grandma’s candy dish since 1957.
-honey moon(decant; $2): My prized, personal house-blended fougère (also used as part of the Wuthering Heights blend): Bulgarian lavender, silvanone, oakmoss absolute, vetiver, tonka, jasmine, cetalox, bergamot, vanillin.
-raspberry rosemallow(Ajevie sample, $2)
-curiouser and curiouser(shop chonk, $5)
-french kiss(store chonk, 1/2 full): $2
NAVA:
-spirits of the dead(ajevie slink; $3)
POESIE:
-boudicca(sample, $3):
SEANCE (1 mL(?) samples direct from shop; $6)
-cemetary: dragonsblood resin, grass, earth, moss, wood, with hints of vanilla and patchouli
-La Femme Fantome: neroli, ylang-ylang, iris, jasmine, orris root, rose, lily of the valley, vetiver, oakmoss, civetta, Apple, red current, tulip, freesia, heliotrope, white rose, and a touch of amber and musk.
SIXTEEN92
-once more, with feeling(10 mL roller, $15): Autumnal woods, misty hayrides, brown sugar, pumpkin crumb cakes
STEREOPLASM
-enjoy your waffles(sample, label is damaged, $2)
-reverie(sample roller, $3)
WHISPER SISTERS(5mL $8)
-Ghosts of Christmas Past: marshmallow, vanilla, smoke, frankincense essential, Tunisian frankincense, myrrh essentia
-Sturnidae: Madagascscar vanilla, vanilla bean, tonka bean, geranium, violet, cedar, vetiver, white musk, with hints of jasmine and black vanilla.
-worm cake:
-butterfly’s boots:
-harpactira:
(1 mL sample, $3)
-ezra: dark amber, black amber, dark vanilla, blood orange, teak, patchouli
-hurdy gurdy: black musk, amber dragons blood, tonka bean, aged patchouli, black vanilla, smoked vanilla.
-bellatrix:

I (16M) have kinda lost my appetite lately and I don’t know why. My mum is realising too. The other night she made me a chicken burger for dinner, but I took one nibble and decided I was done. I couldn’t eat any more. Last night and Friday night, I just ended up not having dinner.
On Friday I was debating about whether to have cereal for dinner or not but then decided I wasn’t hungry. I did eat pudding/dessert that night though which was only a bowl of Eton mess.
Yesterday, I didn’t have breakfast, and when my dad asked me to pick something from a shop to have as just a small snack for breakfast, I just really didn’t want anything. I ended up choosing something just so he would stop asking me to choose. I chose a 20 pack of Jaffa Cakes and by the end of the day I had only eaten 10 of them. The drink I chose had aloe vera pieces in it, but I don’t think that counts as food. Apart from that all I had to eat was a Greggs pizza for lunch and a packet of crisps and a cookie instead of dinner. I didn’t eat anything else.
Usually I can binge eat a lot but lately I just haven’t felt hungry. The pizza I ate yesterday wasn’t even because I was hungry, it was just because I wanted to taste it. I don’t understand what has happened or why my eating habits have changed. Sometimes I have felt too upset to want to eat anything but I don’t feel upset, there is nothing that has upset me lately. So far today I have eaten the second half of the Jaffa Cakes from yesterday and a few peanut m&ms but I’m just not hungry. I keep just eating things for the taste atp.
I’m mainly having drinks as food, but if we go somewhere and they don’t have the drink I want, I will end up just going without. I don’t know what to do, please help. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Please help me prove I’m not crazy! I was telling my husband about a chocolate block I used to love when I was a teenager. It was a snoopy chocolate in a blue wrapper, I think it was peanut butter flavoured? I googled it to show him and found many snoopy chocolate’s, but none were what I remembered.
I used to buy it from IGA around the early 2000’s. Does anyone else remember this or am I even crazier than I thought I was?

Hey y'all! I've been posting here quite often since my MIL moved in and I'm grateful for this sub to let me blow off some steam. Here comes a wall of text because this is my one way of venting!
For a recap, my MIL is 78. She's always been the selfless angel type every time I've seen her prior to moving in. She was always hyper polite, always cooked drawn out amazing meals just for us, and got to spoil my son for our visits. Sure, she's old fashioned and a little batty in her own quirky way, but was always incredibly courteous and doting.
So, long story short, MIL was kicked out of her home where she paid next to no rent her entire life. Her sister (92 and still kicking) owned it until it recently went up for sale due to having multiple strokes and no longer being capable of managing it. MIL is broke. She only gets minimal social security every month. She's relied on her son, my husband, our entire marriage to solve her problems, financial or otherwise. He has taken care of her siblings as well out of love and not because he's obligated. It's been a rollercoaster of dementia homes, stories funeral costs, and nursing homes for as long as we've been married. We didn't want her to go searching for section 8 housing on such short notice, nor could we afford to get her her own place. She also lived about a 2 hour drive from hell away.
Our solution seemed simple. We went out of our way to rent a new home with an extra bedroom for her and one for her sister for when we may be able to employ a part time home nurse. She swore she would help out with her meals in between and I would take care of diapers when the nurse was off the clock. We thought, hey, it'll be a bit of a learning curve, but she's so sweet, there's no way we won't find a groove and get a little extra help with the kids. I was 32 weeks pregnant when she moved in. It seemed like a no brainer to get grandma to enjoy the birth of her second grandson and save us a fortune on elder care at the same time. We thought she would be happy to be with her son and his kids in a nice neighborhood.
I detailed it in my first post here, but long story short, MIL shocked me with her inability to adapt. Fist thing I noticed was that she had debilitating cataracts to the point where she's basically blind. She holds up a magnifying glass inches away from literally everything to see. On top of that, she's also basically deaf. We are taking care of these things but it's taking time.
But it went beyond that. She has no hobbies. I caught her staring at the TV on the "are you still watching" page as if there was a show on. She must feel like she's staring at a wall all the time every day. She has no interest in doing anything else except for chores.
BUT. She will only do these chores HER way and becomes extremely offended if I try to show her how we like to do things/ask her nicely to let me, say, let me put my own laundry away. I showed her how I like to fold my clothes and she smiled and pretended to listen, then literally IMMEDIATELY continued folding them the way I asked her not to. Multiple times to the point where telling her again would be too awkward. I literally picked then up and refolded everything she did one after another right in front of her and she just continued. She's also so blind that she was putting my bras in the pile with my son's shirts... and when I asked her to let me sort, since she mixed everything up so badly, she ignored me again.
Lastly, she undermines our parenting a lot. I've always been a believer that grandma gets to spoil the kids a bit more than parents, but my son (8) is on the spectrum and he is the type who has only made many of the strides he has due to our strictness in making him care for himself when capable. He's smart but can be lazy when things are done for him. He can't be babied or he regresses. Everything he knows how to do he had to be pushed into doing for himself, but he always learns to love the independence once he masters these life skills. I caught MIL literally spoon-feeding him within the first week. She was wiping his butt and now he leaves streaks in his underwear, waiting for somebody to wipe him. She dresses him. She brushes his teeth. These are all things we have worked tirelessly in getting him to do for himself. And when I politely remind her that this is not good for him and to let him be independent, I can tell that she gets mad.
All this time, MIL has proven herself to be the type to smile to my face and then slowly boil over her grievances. She will smile at me and then blow up on SO like he's her scapegoat. Lately, that simmering resentment has finally boiled over, and that's kind of the point if this post.
Here are some things, not limited to, that have slowly accumulated and eventually set my MIL off:

1. The other day, she cooked sausage links. She forgot to put them away in a ziploc bag so, overnight, they went bad exposed to the open air. I saw them in the fridge and said "oh, please remember to put them in a bag! It's okay though, it's just a couple pieces of sausage!" It was a non-thing. Within moments, she teared up and ran to her room to cry. I followed her to reassure her that mistakes happen, that she can't beat herself up over nothing. Nobody doesn't make mistakes. She insisted that no, this was a huge deal.
   
2. She was sucking her teeth excessively a week ago. So loud that it sounded like she was eating a bag of chips with her mouth open. SO said "hey ma, don't forget your tick!". She ran to her room to cry and said that she felt like she lived in a big dark hole. It was very sad to hear her say that. I felt bad, but this was something we talked to her about before with no issue. Suddenly it's a HUGE problem. I personally have a thing where certain excessive mouth noises just obliterate my mood. I can't help it, it's genetic as far as I can tell, but I still do my best to tolerate the occasional teeth sucking. But this? It's nonstop and LOUD. Unlike anything I've heard before. Louder then smacking gum by a LOT.
   
3. The day we got home from the hospital after a traumatic preterm birth, the first thing she did was complain that it had been a week since she wanted to get her eyebrows waxed. We had to stay in the hospital that entire week and I guess she took that personally. Never mind the excessive pain I was in coming home for due to complications.
   
4. I asked her nicely multiple times to try and limit the amount of candies and cookies she put in the pantry while I acclimated to my PP diet. She can still have them, but I asked her to store them in her room for now, because my success in dieting is directly correlated to how many temptations I have at home and she will usually only eat a single cookie out of a box a day (so they last forever). She has instead taken it upon herself to build a small stash of candy bars and cakes in the pantry, of which she has eaten NONE. She then offers me foods she knows I can't have and then gets upset with me for denying them, as that's "impolite".
   
5. She would douse herself in perfume multiple times a day. Perfume makes me physically ill to the point where I had to go lay down with nausea and headaches whenever she did. Some helpful redditors pointed out that it would be toxic for my baby, so we asked her nicely to tone it down for the sake of the newborn's health. She freaked out and said that she had no control over her life. I felt bad about this one, as I know she enjoys her perfume a lot, but it was just too much. Her room still smells like a thick musk and I just don't go in there.
   

Now, this is the big blowup...
Today, a repairman came to fix a piece of furniture. MIL asked me if she should take the dog outside so he didn't bother him and I told her no, the dog will calm down after a moment of excitement, but she was free to go outside anyway if she wanted to. I thought she went out to enjoy herself- she does it often and says she likes the sun. Well, the repairman left while I was pumping breast milk and hubs was feeding our new 2 week old. She eventually came in about 5 minutes after he left and BLEW UP. She was crying, yelling us that it was SO RUDE to not come and get her immediately. We told her that we thought she was out there in her own accord but she didn't listen. SO kept saying "it was only five minutes, we have had our hands full and we didn't know", and she stormed out of the house for two hours. I was supposed to go to sleep (newborn schedule) but stayed up because DH went out to chase her and talk.
During this talk, since I was not around, she let it all out. Said she lives in hell. She's mad at ME for pointing out how the sausage went bad. Says I should've never mentioned it, let her leave it out as much as she wanted, and that it was rude of me to correct her. She used the phrase "I know you have kids with her so she's not going anywhere" and my husband defended me, asking her wtf I had done that was so wrong and if I should've eaten bad meat just to please her. He told her that, if she couldn't live with us, she wouldn't make it with anyone else who didn't bend over backwards, which she denied. Apparently she expected us to let her do literally anything she wanted and says that she "walks on eggshells" around me because I ask her not to baby my son (I'm watching all of my hard work crumble before my eyes with how she treats him and I will NOT stand by and watch my son wither away into a helpless blob). She said that it wasn't fair that the dog had rules and the cats don't, going so far as to pantomime a hunched over servant, to which SO had to explain that cats are incapable of learning manners the way dogs are and the dogisn't allowed to just jump on people and beg for food. She thinks him having a crate is cruel and unusual. She even said that it makes her upset when I don't jump out of my seat and shout an enthusiastic "Good morning!!" when she wakes up.
Forget that I've been up since the wee hours taking care of a newborn. Forget all of my pains and aches, my disfigured and bloody nipples from trying to find the right pump, and my also being on a strict diet. Oh, and forget that I'm in MY OWN HOME where I shouldn't feel like I have to feign enthusiasm every time I see a family member. It's not like I'm rude! I always smile and put on a chipper tone no matter HOW I feel. But, on the days where my pains are just too much, when I'm dizzy or dealing with a migraine, she takes personal offense to my smile not sparkling in the sun. How dare I be somewhat stoic but still polite!
I went to sleep after she got back (we talked about it at length until then) and, when I woke up to pump, she was gone. Apparently she went to bed early in a huff. On Saturdays, my son looks forward to a "sleepover" in her room. He looks forward to it all week. He was just getting ready for bed and my husband was explaining to him that it probably wasn't happening tonight. He ended up opening her door loudly and we had to pull him away and reprimand him for opening her door without knocking, knowing that she was asleep.
Well, after he did that twice, I went over to him to console him and tell him that we would make up for it. She BURST out of her room and started yelling at us: why won't you let him have his sleepover?!
We told her that we thought she was sleeping, as per what she said (she apparently even said goodnight to my son when she went to bed), and that regardless, he shouldn't be bursting into her room without knowing that she was awake and willing to have this sleepover. She just kept yelling, not listening: WHY are you not letting him stay with me?! It's Saturday! He ALWAYS sleeps in here!
And ultimately, he got to go have his sleepover after we were completely undermined for trying to teach him manners. I'm glad that he got to, he didn't deserve to be shafted, but how dare she make US the bad guys for not letting him force his way inside when we thought she had specifically wanted to be alone?? I was already annoyed with HER for going to bed without him on his special day, but instead she made a whole show about how we were keeping him from her and how she was the big savior in the end!
After all this, DH is fuming. I've never seen him this mad at his mother. He loves her tremendously. He's bent under backwards for her multiple times over the course of our marriage. He's taken care of EVERYTHING in her life. But now that she's pointing fingers at him and treating him like he's the bad guy, he is OVER it. He said to me that, if she has anther unfair outburst like that, he's gonna tell her to call around and find somebody willing to house her, because she's out of here. She's destroying our newborn period. We won't get these days back.
But what gets me is that... I think that's what she expects from him. She expects him to just dish out 2k per month of his own money, of his children's money, to get her her own apartment where she can wander around like Mr. Magoo and eat rancid sausages to her heart's content. It's almost a powerplay. The initial plan was to move her sister in, save a fortune on elder care, and she would help keep her sister company since I'm not bilingual and they were spending every day together before she moved in with us. But she just... stopped talking to her sister altogether? It's so bizarre. It's like she randomly decided to drop her from her life when she moved in with us and it's clear that her sister is hurt by this. When we ask her, she just goes "oh, I don't know :)" or just makes a dismissive "mmm".
But she won't talk about anything. She won't listen to our side of anything. She just wants to explode, bitch, and then pretend it never happened in a cycle. She expects us to just grit our teeth and live in hell with her when our lives are supposed to be happy right now with the new baby. She thinks that burying problems and periodically freaking out is the right way to live and everything else is rude. I can't even enjoy my newborn. I have angry MIL sitting beside me, staring depressedly at the wall for hours on end every day. I can't so much as be a parent to my oldest anymore without incurring her silent ire, which she unloads on DH when they're alone. If I try to talk about it with her, it's all "don't worry about it, everything's fine :)".
What gets me, what I take personally (since I'm thinking that the rest may be dementia or something), is how she treats our family finances like a bottomless bank. She thinks that DH is Scrooge McDuck with a pool of gold despite me telling her about our struggles and how DH has literally been crying over the whole situation with her sister. She KNOWS that our financial plan was to save money on her living costs and on her sister's elder care because we can't afford to take care of everybody, but DH loves her too much to just stick her into section 8 (which takes time, too). BUT, she wants us to buy her her own apartment ANYWAY as well as forgo the plan on saving five figures a month on her sister, all while treating us like trash for not allowing her to bulldoze the household. Who is this woman and what has she done with the MIL I knew?! If we don't get to live out our plan as intended, I will hold this against her forever, and there will be no reconciliation. DH understands. He thinks I've been more than understanding and that it's MIL who is acting like a dictator while claiming to be the victim.
TLDR: MIL thinks that the normal course of life is to endure misery and never talk openly and honestly, so she expects us to wallow in her own personal Hell beside her for a long as she will live. Does not believe in reconciliation, seems to have zero consideration for others in any capacity (except our dog?), and makes unreasonable seen like the understatement of the century.
Oh, and I've gotten a lot of advice on my aunt in law's elder care in the last couple of threads, so not a lot is needed! DH has been on top of it and all suggestions were things he already considered and knew about. It's rather complicated and i can't get into it here, as this is just meant to be a rant. We have an elder care lawyer who is helping out.
As for assisted living for MIL, that's apparently not going to happen without significant costs until she meets certain cognitive thresholds, which she has not yet. So, it's either section 8 (and I'm petrified of letting her live alone, tbh) or another small fortune to get her out of the house... I think we need to find a relative willing to take her, because with my kids, she's turning my once bright and sunny household into a goddamn war zone.

Long story short, our BIL has made it know he doesn’t like peanuts on a specific cake we get for everyone’s birthday it’s a tradition. When it was my SO birthday I bought the cake and chose choc chips instead of peanuts and told them all so that our BIL could enjoy it with us.
My MIL then takes it upon herself to speak to my SO in their language and say that I was flirting with him by buying the cake he likes (it’s legit the same cake just a different external topping.) My SO then brings it up with me a day later when we were having a disagreement about something else, saying I was flirting?? I told him I was being a considerate host? What is so wrong about that?
The thing is I get along with my BIL he has never done anything wrong by me like everyone else in my SO family. My daughter also takes a liking to him over everyone else and I make it known how much my daughter loves her uncle. I don’t feel there is anything wrong with this? I feel MIL is out to get me.

I was recently approved for the Women, Infant and Children program, and once I received my benefits, I discovered I cannot buy that much organic items.
I am a person that eats organic because although it’s a little more, the taste is much better. It’s also healthier. I’m also breastfeeding. Whatever I eat, my child eats.
Buying milk and eggs with no hormones, additives, GMO, Any of the bullshit does my body so much justice. Sure, I can buy organic fruits and vegetables, but wtf is this rule about everything else????
Cannot buy organic: Juice Cheese Eggs (or range-free, omega-3) Milk (or with added calcium) Peanut butter (or with omega-3, DHA) Yogurt, I guess?
Cannot buy: Yogurt with granola (????)
Can buy: ONLY PLAIN (some vanilla) yogurt Whole Grain breads/pastas (Dave’s Killer Bread not included)
I think it’s bullshit that I specifically told the nutritionist that I eat/drink organic and she did not tell me whatsoever that I could not buy organic. It’s just a way to rope people into the system although it’s perceived as “helpful”

i haven't been in a great place for a while and just wanna finally get stuff off my chest and i feel like i can't dump this on friends. i'll probably delete first thing in the morning when i wake up.
like i the title says, my work is more important than me and it's not even very important to begin with.
i draw a comic for a living, which sounds kind of cool on paper. at times, i convince myself it's doing well. i have what's probably considered a good amount of subscribers and while im not getting rich, it pays my overpriced california bills. unfortunately, my life revolves around this comic. to be clear, i love this story and comic. it's a passion project i've been working on since literally middle school and i feel really blessed that a publisher actually liked it enough to allow me to do it full time. i love my job and that's not really the problem.
the problem is it's the only part of me that matters. and it doesn't even matter that much. i'm 30 and have no close friends or relationships. i do have friends, but nobody on the level that would be like...ya know, actually be really upset if i just disappeared from their life. It's not for lack of trying. I do a round of tinder and bumble once or twice a year, just hoping to even make friends. It never amounts to anything. This isn't exactly what this post is about, it's just kind of providing context. When it comes to my personal life... I'm basically just living for my parents. The only two people in the world who would actually be more than a little upset if i just poofed off the planet tomorrow. And I know this is a fact. I've dipped out of friend groups before with...0 care on their part. Even after I try to reconnect, I'm met with silence. I know me departing from their lives meant nothing. And while I have friends now, I know I could just as easily slip out of their lives with the same lack of impact.
Basically, I could disappear off the planet tomorrow and nobody would care (other than my parents) if not for my comic. I think. It's the only part of me that has remotely mattered. I put my heart and soul into it and I know there are a few people in the world that truly love it. Someone even got a tattoo of it once. There are people talking about it in my discord server daily. I know there's a few people in the world who truly love it. Truly love something I've put a part of my heart and soul into. Those few people keep me going. I know it's probably considered a lot by some standards, but I'm regularly reminded just how insignificant my work is.
I know there's a couple people who love my work but every day I see my fellow comic creators getting thousands and thousands of notes on their art on Twitter and Instagram. I don't know if jealousy is the right word. They're super talented people who deserve the attention. I just feel like a failure next to them. I feel like my comic does well- It gets lots of likes, comments, etc, but outside of it's actual website, I'm quickly reminded how little it actually matters. Nobody ever talks about it. I've never broken maybe 700 notes on my art dedicated to the comic. Comics with half the readers of mine get 3x the notes on their art. There's entire subreddits dedicated to the platform my comic is hosted on with posts asking what everyone's favorite comics are and there'll be 100+ comments with no mention of mine despite it regularly being #1 in in it's category.
I'm convinced people must think it's overrated schlock. I'm a professional comic artist, but I know at this point I'm not actually very good. My art is mediocre. My writing is mid. Because people clearly look at it but nobody ever talks about it, recommends it, or posts about it.
Which maybe I could live with, but...this comic is the only thing I have going on in my life. It's the only part of me that has ever remotely mattered. If this comic isn't good and important, neither am I. If nobody loves this comic, then nobody loves me.
The cherry on the cake is my comic is in it's final season. The only part of me that remotely matters is coming to an end. Of course, I want to make more comics after this one, but I know they won't achieve the same numbers that my current one does. And yes, i know, you shouldn't be creating art "for the numbers" but when you do it professionally, those numbers literally pay your bills so once they go away, I'm going back to fucking retail or some shit where I'll stop mattering to literally anyone in the world.
Anyway... literally first time posting here and very hopefully last. I literally just googled "reddit vent" and ended up here because I just wanted...somewhere to vomit this to just hopefully 1 person in the world that isn't in my very niche little comic community. i just want to talk to 1 person outside the comic community

Where can I buy good quality organic/natural preservatives-free peanut butter, online or in Lahore?

Period: 29.79 days

	Submissions	Comments
Total	1000	9169
Rate (per day)	33.57	303.99
Unique Redditors	129	654
Combined Score	74430	49663

Top Submitters' Top Submissions

1. 12847 points, 241 submissions: Stand-on-Toilet
   
   1. Seika (@CRANE1192) (245 points, 13 comments)
   2. Nijicat Doing Lucky Cat Pose (@wata9mm_no) (203 points, 9 comments)
   3. Angry Nijika: A Towel Only (@spell_PhD) (200 points, 25 comments)
   4. Cheerleader Seika (@ThundraDrawings) (131 points, 28 comments)
   5. Nijika: Just Like Older Sis (@suta0822) (131 points, 9 comments)
   6. Pink Blob: Waffled (@nitarinDX) (129 points, 8 comments)
   7. Date with Kita (@KIUCHI_ILLUST) (122 points, 9 comments)
   8. RyoNiji: Hair Around Neck (@Kuronichi285) (122 points, 4 comments)
   9. Ryo Under Nijika (努力画画的狸花 on pixiv) (120 points, 7 comments)
   10. Nijika: A Mother Too Early... (@ree_kkr) (119 points, 6 comments)
2. 8005 points, 50 submissions: mysteryface1723
   
   1. Have you found your Nijika? (377 points, 27 comments)
   2. Kessoku Band members meet their followers (340 points, 25 comments)
   3. WARNING: Do not take Nijika's dorito (338 points, 33 comments)
   4. How to meet your Nijika (Yamada Method) (330 points, 31 comments)
   5. Drummers Appreciation Post (324 points, 22 comments)
   6. KessokuBand user ❤ (318 points, 24 comments)
   7. Fandom Bocchi part 3 (286 points, 12 comments)
   8. BTR fans every livestream (261 points, 23 comments)
   9. Kessoku Band Artists' Curse (256 points, 32 comments)
   10. Fandom Kita (246 points, 12 comments)
3. 6483 points, 128 submissions: Pundarikaksh
   
   1. A rainbow that will meet after 8 years by Rotto 🥲 (163 points, 11 comments)
   2. Adult Kessoku band by NeonFloyd (139 points, 17 comments)
   3. Kessoku band cheer squad by E20 (135 points, 15 comments)
   4. Secret story by Kurou (112 points, 20 comments)
   5. Little Dino Bocchi and Michiyo by Yusaku (111 points, 6 comments)
   6. BoRyo by Iyokan (105 points, 7 comments)
   7. GuitarHero by Nooka (98 points, 5 comments)
   8. Loneliness of each by U soul (93 points, 12 comments)
   9. Hitori on new year's by Akira (92 points, 5 comments)
   10. PA-san and BoRyo by Armpit slack (89 points, 7 comments)
4. 5096 points, 57 submissions: Idz4gqbi
   
   1. If Kessoku Band Does Not Exist... (308 points, 25 comments)
   2. Do You Trust Volcanovolk? (258 points, 50 comments)
   3. Slandering the Four Churches of Kessoku Band (243 points, 42 comments)
   4. There are only Two Types of People (242 points, 39 comments)
   5. "Happiness is not an ideal of reason, but of Nijika." (222 points, 8 comments)
   6. Blast from the Past — When Doritos Memes were at its Peak (218 points, 26 comments)
   7. Volcanovolk Conspiracy Theory (209 points, 52 comments)
   8. Everything began with the Nijika Folder... (165 points, 18 comments)
   9. Nijika Fan Starter Pack and Advanced Pack (165 points, 36 comments)
   10. Canon & Fandom Nijika — The Definitive Scale (154 points, 27 comments)
5. 4056 points, 22 submissions: yetanother234
   
   1. She's just like me (394 points, 31 comments)
   2. Choose (346 points, 44 comments)
   3. Aki is a cutie (283 points, 15 comments)
   4. Kessoku Band members described in one word (271 points, 28 comments)
   5. Shoutout to the one person who is just like Kita frfr (259 points, 16 comments)
   6. Bocchi the Rock final episode leaked (250 points, 17 comments)
   7. Both are valid reasons for liking Nijika (249 points, 22 comments)
   8. Bocchi's 3 forms (233 points, 9 comments)
   9. Nijika is real and lives inside you (208 points, 15 comments)
   10. Bocchi the Rock spinoff ideas (192 points, 33 comments)
6. 3187 points, 22 submissions: YUZUtry
   
   1. The concentration of Nijika on this sub Today (351 points, 29 comments)
   2. Nijika 「saw」 her fans (278 points, 42 comments)
   3. Bocchi otter found her new nest！ (233 points, 16 comments)
   4. Is this just a coincidence ? (191 points, 34 comments)
   5. guys...Pluto is actually Bocchi！ (187 points, 30 comments)
   6. Bocchi under friendly fire (179 points, 24 comments)
   7. You guys scared my friend IRL... (177 points, 33 comments)
   8. Nijika the ninja—Ninjika ! (167 points, 36 comments)
   9. I trust our sub to see through this... right? (163 points, 28 comments)
   10. Ni...Nijika... (148 points, 21 comments)
7. 1932 points, 12 submissions: whatdoilemonade
   
   1. Seika's Wacky Shenanigans [pixiv@豚猫ブスタ] (302 points, 24 comments)
   2. POV: Nijika greets you at home [pixiv@球体X] (232 points, 19 comments)
   3. Morning in the Ijichi household [pixiv@なまず] (231 points, 20 comments)
   4. Just a dream [pixiv@さくらてるる] (230 points, 26 comments)
   5. Runaway Guitar [pixiv@ぎんぎつね+] (196 points, 19 comments)
   6. The sister's present [pixiv@じんやま] (155 points, 19 comments)
   7. Kessoku ASMR [pixiv@豚猫ブスタ] (113 points, 19 comments)
   8. Bocchi The Smell [pixiv@広肉ル] (112 points, 13 comments)
   9. ShibaYami back hug [pixiv@ホシナ] (104 points, 38 comments)
   10. Bocchi's school uniform [pixiv@豚猫ブスタ] (101 points, 5 comments)
8. 1529 points, 13 submissions: ThugBaby05GT
   
   1. She always there in the right time (261 points, 14 comments)
   2. But I see her... (197 points, 18 comments)
   3. Word can not describe how Happy I am with Nijika (166 points, 9 comments)
   4. Their lies won't stop me (135 points, 11 comments)
   5. She my Queen (115 points, 11 comments)
   6. Nijika will Save her (109 points, 5 comments)
   7. I'm glad she here with me (107 points, 6 comments)
   8. I feel happy going outside with Nijika (93 points, 6 comments)
   9. Life is pain without her (81 points, 15 comments)
   10. Why does Nijika disappear... (80 points, 13 comments)
9. 1322 points, 18 submissions: Solar1011
   
   1. Placeholder. (221 points, 17 comments)
   2. Ryo has no reason to be looking at Nijika like that. (@ree_kkr) (168 points, 12 comments)
   3. Just the two of us. (121 points, 11 comments)
   4. What’s in the box? (105 points, 12 comments)
   5. Nijika Ijichi (@log_008) (99 points, 6 comments)
   6. Nervous Bocchi (@oekakiism) (83 points, 5 comments)
   7. Ryo’s way of making money. (@Meyshi29) (77 points, 8 comments)
   8. Pouty Nijika (@kkggbpn4g27) (62 points, 6 comments)
   9. Even More Maid Bocchi (@PepUnti) (60 points, 5 comments)
   10. Nijika Ijichi (@bo_illustration) (56 points, 5 comments)
10. 1237 points, 14 submissions: Mukaido
    
    1. JLT4n's completed animation. (178 points, 8 comments)
    2. Nijika interacts with her fans. (169 points, 24 comments)
    3. Hi! Welcome to Jollibee! Kita kita c: (154 points, 21 comments)
    4. Kessoku Band at Zepp Haneda Tokyo (146 points, 8 comments)
    5. Kessoku Band (144 points, 9 comments)
    6. Leaked STARRY HR document. (89 points, 11 comments)
    7. Five more minutes Mom. (69 points, 14 comments)
    8. "Yuzu, I trust you." (68 points, 6 comments)
    9. The Angel of Shimokitazawa Spoils Me Rotten (56 points, 17 comments)
    10. New Nijika Blush dropped (38 points, 3 comments)
11. 1174 points, 13 submissions: Gotoh_Naoki
    
    1. I hate myself for this (168 points, 17 comments)
    2. "Look, a cute cat!" (159 points, 7 comments)
    3. Rural Style Bocchi (141 points, 8 comments)
    4. Kessoku Band in different poses (125 points, 3 comments)
    5. This is why I have eyes. (104 points, 22 comments)
    6. Seika doesn't like selfies, or does she? (78 points, 8 comments)
    7. Futari the Rock! (71 points, 11 comments)
    8. [OC] Never Forget (Italian Cover) (71 points, 37 comments)
    9. kessokuband concert photos i stole from the official twitter (61 points, 2 comments)
    10. Seika but I'm unoriginal with titles (54 points, 3 comments)
12. 1155 points, 22 submissions: MrBig6lesw0rth
    
    1. Too cute, might melt a few hearts... (109 points, 6 comments)
    2. Sometimes you help yourself by helping others (96 points, 3 comments)
    3. Ryo but cute (83 points, 10 comments)
    4. A little bit of BoKita never hurt anyone (68 points, 2 comments)
    5. Kita-chan can be quite Radiant (64 points, 15 comments)
    6. "I know you can do it, Kita-san!" (62 points, 10 comments)
    7. That smile melts my heart (62 points, 5 comments)
    8. Eating the Boccher?! Is that even legal? (61 points, 7 comments)
    9. Kita Kita (55 points, 4 comments)
    10. The paragon of virtue and her hero (50 points, 4 comments)
13. 1149 points, 12 submissions: crazycorgiperson
    
    1. How to protect your Bocchi (171 points, 32 comments)
    2. The Kessokucord Experience: Opening #starry (164 points, 20 comments)
    3. KessokuBand has reached 2,000 members! (134 points, 31 comments)
    4. Different Hairstyles of Bocchi (123 points, 32 comments)
    5. Preserving History: The Bad Ending (106 points, 30 comments)
    6. Rainbocchix Siege (106 points, 10 comments)
    7. Fiction has to be original and creative, reality does not (94 points, 11 comments)
    8. kita spin (90 points, 14 comments)
    9. Top commenters of the main sub, March vs. April (51 points, 59 comments)
    10. Happy Nijika (45 points, 5 comments)
14. 974 points, 20 submissions: caloyagin
    
    1. my beloved (117 points, 12 comments)
    2. really cool (108 points, 17 comments)
    3. GOTO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (90 points, 8 comments)
    4. Recreating the Nijika ribbons (80 points, 14 comments)
    5. The full members have been posted before, but not the individuals of sideros (I think yoyo was posted) (59 points, 3 comments)
    6. DRUMS (53 points, 4 comments)
    7. SHIBA (51 points, 7 comments)
    8. Recreating The Nijika Ribbons Pangalawa (45 points, 26 comments)
    9. the dead iceberg (think of the explanations yourself) (44 points, 46 comments)
    10. Recreating The Nijika Ribbons four (42 points, 21 comments)
15. 907 points, 10 submissions: Oteycri000
    
    1. It's 1984 again (224 points, 38 comments)
    2. Caged Bochher (132 points, 19 comments)
    3. Yandere PA -San (114 points, 23 comments)
    4. I'm watching you (108 points, 4 comments)
    5. You're just like me fr. (95 points, 23 comments)
    6. G-E-X (72 points, 13 comments)
    7. Thanks to someone I'll mention in comments I made 4 memes they gifted me templates (48 points, 12 comments)
    8. Too much Nichija (41 points, 3 comments)
    9. This is the finale season post I'll see make. (38 points, 3 comments)
    10. Jealous Yan Kita (35 points, 6 comments)
16. 906 points, 21 submissions: unremarkable_123
    
    1. Pills are a goverment ploy to get you to pay taxes (106 points, 14 comments)
    2. The REAL kita flag (86 points, 18 comments)
    3. The List (75 points, 75 comments)
    4. is it edible? (71 points, 16 comments)
    5. Kessokucord tierlist (66 points, 54 comments)
    6. BUT HEY ITS JUST A THEORY A BOCCHI THE ROCK THEORY (49 points, 12 comments)
    7. Boccher Unification of Middle East (44 points, 12 comments)
    8. more BTR characters as nations (43 points, 14 comments)
    9. Dorito. (37 points, 11 comments)
    10. Shiba themed milk (37 points, 13 comments)
17. 875 points, 11 submissions: Tezlaivj
    
    1. Bocchi & Nijika by asado0000 (155 points, 12 comments)
    2. BoNiji Sleepover by aayh (113 points, 10 comments)
    3. Professor Gotou's research result by maki_photograph (108 points, 10 comments)
    4. Bocchi's first time by satsuki_meito (75 points, 7 comments)
    5. Cinema by rafkan_tail (75 points, 7 comments)
    6. Unexpected counterattack by meendaco (67 points, 8 comments)
    7. Dear my hero by orbea_aqua_2012 (66 points, 5 comments)
    8. Asking for a date by Sondeneva (58 points, 14 comments)
    9. Neko Jealousy by maki_photograph (57 points, 7 comments)
    10. Some doses of BoNiji by hngkdaisy (56 points, 3 comments)
18. 840 points, 6 submissions: RecommendationFancy5
    
    1. Ryo got hungry (341 points, 18 comments)
    2. Bocchi Digivolution Line (If Bocchi was a Digimon) (176 points, 5 comments)
    3. I will not take my pills! THEY'RE REAL! NIJIKA REAL! (114 points, 11 comments)
    4. Schrödinger's Kita (97 points, 8 comments)
    5. Learning Relationships with KessokuBand! (77 points, 41 comments)
    6. I made some stupid Bocchi Youtube thumbnails (35 points, 11 comments)
19. 758 points, 7 submissions: Radiant-Lotus
    
    1. How’re ya feeling peeps? (320 points, 59 comments)
    2. :NijikaGlare: (95 points, 8 comments)
    3. Her gentle smile ❤ (93 points, 12 comments)
    4. CONSTELLATION COME BACK PLEASEEEEE 😭 (78 points, 33 comments)
    5. Everyday is a fever dream (°ー°〃) (70 points, 18 comments)
    6. Someone asked, so I delivered (cheers, Yami fans 🥂) (52 points, 15 comments)
    7. Slandering KessokuBand Mods (50 points, 41 comments)
20. 749 points, 15 submissions: Ale_med_al
    
    1. Bocchi and you might not be so different, Chavito (114 points, 11 comments)
    2. The what subreddit? (85 points, 25 comments)
    3. What would a sovereign Kessoku Band nation be like? (Meta) (68 points, 22 comments)
    4. You expected... (65 points, 13 comments)
    5. Bunnijika and Botter (by @SGYmyhumo; TL by @Slowrider88) (59 points, 6 comments)
    6. Sick Ryou (art by @yubune42do) (51 points, 6 comments)
    7. 絵が無いと言ったけどうおおとなったので描いた (@Kerorira1) (51 points, 2 comments)
    8. Niji-physics (45 points, 7 comments)
    9. Kita, Ikuyo! (41 points, 1 comment)
    10. One of the Bocchi references from Daidus’ latest video (37 points, 2 comments)
21. 638 points, 8 submissions: mendezmen
    
    1. The Ijichi Sisters Switch Bodies! (by Kumichou) [Part 2 of 2] (193 points, 15 comments)
    2. The Ijichi Sisters Switch Bodies! (by Kumichou) [Part 1 of 2] (104 points, 4 comments)
    3. Love ・ Ho ・ Tel! (by @lanlanlap) (84 points, 9 comments)
    4. Yoyoko Ohtsuki Can't Smile (by @rebanirax01) (73 points, 5 comments)
    5. Bocchi the Rock: Love is War (62 points, 7 comments)
    6. There must be a melody only you can sing (by: @mmiyakoo) [Part 2 of 2] (51 points, 5 comments)
    7. There must be a melody only you can sing (by: @mmiyakoo) [Part 1 of 2] (36 points, 1 comment)
    8. Bocchi's Ideal Girl (35 points, 11 comments)
22. 623 points, 15 submissions: MementoMori228
    
    1. Daily Yoyoposting till I keel over (Day 15) (77 points, 7 comments)
    2. Daily Yoyoposting till I keel over (Day 16) (58 points, 9 comments)
    3. Daily Yoyoposting till I keel over (Day 20) (53 points, 4 comments)
    4. Daily Yoyoposting till I keel over (Day 19) (48 points, 8 comments)
    5. Daily Yoyoposting till I keel over (Day 23) (48 points, 2 comments)
    6. Daily Yoyoposting till I keel over (Day 14) (47 points, 4 comments)
    7. Daily Yoyoposting till I keel over (Day 21) (40 points, 7 comments)
    8. Daily Yoyoposting till I keel over (Day 22) (39 points, 2 comments)
    9. Daily Yoyoposting till I keel over (Day 12) (35 points, 4 comments)
    10. Daily Yoyoposting till I keel over (Day 11) (34 points, 2 comments)
23. 604 points, 4 submissions: DestructionCatalyst
    
    1. Really like them fr (216 points, 14 comments)
    2. Typical Boyoko interaction (182 points, 6 comments)
    3. In episode 11 there are blue and yellow decorations on the wall. This is a reference to the anime "Bocchi the Rock!", where the protagonist, Hitori "Bocchi" Gotou wears a hair accessory of the same colors (180 points, 9 comments)
    4. Patchi the rock ! [Touhou Project] (26 points, 2 comments)
24. 604 points, 3 submissions: zebrano08
    
    1. POV: You are Bocchi fr fr updated (252 points, 13 comments)
    2. Reminder to do it for her, no matter what (247 points, 20 comments)
    3. Kessokucord lore in my head (I don’t use discord) (105 points, 22 comments)
25. 600 points, 20 submissions: boche_123
    
    1. Cube. (57 points, 11 comments)
    2. SIDEROS (colored by me) (55 points, 6 comments)
    3. Yoyo standing up (37 points, 7 comments)
    4. KITAURA-爆破 (36 points, 1 comment)
    5. Kemonoria Tea Band. Article written by PoisonYami (CSM redraw) (34 points, 6 comments)
    6. Yo (32 points, 5 comments)
    7. MEN KISSING!!!!!! :KitaLetsGoooo: (31 points, 5 comments)
    8. That one definetly not Yoyo girl (29 points, 2 comments)
    9. That one definetly not important in the future girl from the opening and ep10 sitting with stone statues (29 points, 4 comments)
    10. Yoyoko👍 (27 points, 6 comments)
26. 579 points, 12 submissions: BenjaXotz
    
    1. How could I forget about this hood classic (NO VHS EFFECT YOOO) (106 points, 14 comments)
    2. hood classic (80 points, 9 comments)
    3. The end (69 points, 23 comments)
    4. I think I have a problem guys (53 points, 9 comments)
    5. hi (45 points, 1 comment)
    6. I'LL START POSTING MH SCHIZO STUFF HERE CUZ I CAN'T IN ANY OTHER PLACE (44 points, 11 comments)
    7. fuck (not canon) (39 points, 4 comments)
    8. This one is not canon is just me being delusional (35 points, 5 comments)
    9. I posted the wrong one and now I'm completely ashamed (31 points, 11 comments)
    10. To the dude trying to find the lore: I'll be not posting this in order, so try hard llolololoolol (29 points, 5 comments)
27. 559 points, 8 submissions: XxMinecraftBoss69xX
    
    1. kita is in my room this is so cool (123 points, 10 comments)
    2. BOCCHI BLAST me (79 points, 19 comments)
    3. bow cheese????? (75 points, 7 comments)
    4. Fumocchi by me (72 points, 7 comments)
    5. “noooo kita leave some for the rest of us” by me (62 points, 0 comments)
    6. NIJIKA NUKE me (56 points, 9 comments)
    7. 🍌Banana Nijika 🍌 (53 points, 10 comments)
    8. Go Into the Light me (39 points, 4 comments)
28. 557 points, 7 submissions: Artster900
    
    1. my messy brainrot [oc] (125 points, 7 comments)
    2. I don't even know why. (124 points, 18 comments)
    3. Ryo but Saku [oc] (111 points, 21 comments)
    4. kita kita but hasegawa ikumi [oc] (57 points, 8 comments)
    5. kita has a gun [oc] (49 points, 6 comments)
    6. bokita brainrot, i need help [oc] (48 points, 8 comments)
    7. dorito [oc] (43 points, 2 comments)
29. 536 points, 7 submissions: Hamazi__
    
    1. Society (100 points, 4 comments)
    2. Bocchi The driver (97 points, 8 comments)
    3. Nijika tube (81 points, 8 comments)
    4. Another day in kessokucord (70 points, 11 comments)
    5. Happy out of touch Thursday!! (66 points, 2 comments)
    6. Wrong bocchi (63 points, 1 comment)
    7. End of watch (59 points, 7 comments)
30. 512 points, 5 submissions: Chilio95
    
    1. It's Week 6 of Out of Touch Thursday! (270 points, 10 comments)
    2. POV: You came in last in sales the previous quarter and now upper management wants to chat with you real quick. (84 points, 28 comments)
    3. Otter Bocchi spending quality time with her little otter sister! (66 points, 9 comments)
    4. BTR Keyboard and desk mat from Kapco (58 points, 10 comments)
    5. My Bocchi The Rock! Onkyo wireless earphones finally arrived today!! (34 points, 53 comments)

Top Commenters

1. Idz4gqbi (3958 points, 461 comments)
2. YUZUtry (3011 points, 552 comments)
3. Pundarikaksh (2896 points, 723 comments)
4. caloyagin (2732 points, 453 comments)
5. Mukaido (2438 points, 340 comments)
6. Pete-zaTime (2010 points, 267 comments)
7. mysteryface1723 (1696 points, 141 comments)
8. lostWayZERO (1376 points, 176 comments)
9. crazycorgiperson (1214 points, 137 comments)
10. boche_123 (1106 points, 182 comments)
11. Stand-on-Toilet (1091 points, 304 comments)
12. Ikuyo_Kita (940 points, 76 comments)
13. Chilio95 (849 points, 187 comments)
14. Ale_med_al (671 points, 175 comments)
15. whatdoilemonade (641 points, 84 comments)
16. Distinct-Ad3397 (634 points, 76 comments)
17. DomoandFinch (576 points, 86 comments)
18. SezyFazes (550 points, 98 comments)
19. ThomYorkeOfficiaI (522 points, 94 comments)
20. unremarkable_123 (485 points, 129 comments)
21. MrBig6lesw0rth (438 points, 106 comments)
22. zebrano08 (431 points, 38 comments)
23. Ijichi_Seika (428 points, 65 comments)
24. Kana-Arima (403 points, 51 comments)
25. ztarfroot (401 points, 120 comments)
26. Radiant-Lotus (386 points, 78 comments)
27. F_Foundation (380 points, 85 comments)
28. Gotoh-Michiyo (356 points, 102 comments)
29. Gotoh_Naoki (342 points, 97 comments)
30. Herrscher_of_Yatta (328 points, 57 comments)
31. kirkisgrizz (313 points, 83 comments)
32. matto334 (313 points, 51 comments)
33. NeighborhoodToad (304 points, 48 comments)
34. Oteycri000 (283 points, 75 comments)
35. Akane_Kurokawa (280 points, 30 comments)
36. RecommendationFancy5 (268 points, 54 comments)
37. LoveMoon-II (244 points, 55 comments)
38. A_Weakling (238 points, 24 comments)
39. Amazin_Acc (236 points, 50 comments)
40. 1ts_ya_boii (229 points, 25 comments)
41. Eliza_Shimizu (227 points, 47 comments)
42. Solar1011 (210 points, 49 comments)
43. Hamazi__ (203 points, 36 comments)
44. DestructionCatalyst (195 points, 37 comments)
45. ssj_sjnk (194 points, 38 comments)
46. ScummyBocchi (194 points, 23 comments)
47. DestinyDrop (179 points, 34 comments)
48. ScummyBandman_Bocchi (170 points, 44 comments)
49. Fandomer_ (170 points, 31 comments)
50. Arlend44 (164 points, 37 comments)

Top Submissions

1. She's just like me by yetanother234 (394 points, 31 comments)
2. Have you found your Nijika? by mysteryface1723 (377 points, 27 comments)
3. Bocchi the Rock by l1qmaballs (352 points, 28 comments)
4. The concentration of Nijika on this sub Today by YUZUtry (351 points, 29 comments)
5. Choose by yetanother234 (346 points, 44 comments)
6. Ryo got hungry by RecommendationFancy5 (341 points, 18 comments)
7. Kessoku Band members meet their followers by mysteryface1723 (340 points, 25 comments)
8. WARNING: Do not take Nijika's dorito by mysteryface1723 (338 points, 33 comments)
9. How to meet your Nijika (Yamada Method) by mysteryface1723 (330 points, 31 comments)
10. Drummers Appreciation Post by mysteryface1723 (324 points, 22 comments)

Top Comments

1. 83 points: Idz4gqbi's comment in Kessoku Band Artists' Curse
2. 78 points: YUZUtry's comment in Kessoku Band members meet their followers
3. 74 points: Asbjorn26's comment in What is the most important lesson Bocchi the Rock taught you?
4. 72 points: Mukaido's comment in Slandering the Four Churches of Kessoku Band
5. 69 points: mysteryface1723's comment in She's just like me
6. 55 points: Unlucky_Wall711's comment in Damn Bocchi's got cake
7. 55 points: Yozora4's comment in What is the most important lesson Bocchi the Rock taught you?
8. 54 points: Ikuyo_Kita's comment in Choose
9. 54 points: Mukaido's comment in If Kessoku Band Does Not Exist...
10. 54 points: Spell_PhD's comment in KessokuBand Interviews Spell (Volcanovolk): A Nijika Birthday Celebration Special

Generated with BBoe's Subreddit Stats

Hello fine people of the Bar Exam subreddit! I wanted to pop in very briefly to extend my congratulations upon your graduation from law school. You've accomplished truly a Herculean feat and for which you should be proud of yourselves! Now, you find yourself in the hard part of things. Bar prep is a grueling process, but one you will get through! As a brief aside about myself, I took the Ohio bar in July of 2021 (The remote COVID Bar) and did not pass. I then took the February 2022 Ohio bar (the first UBE administration in Ohio), and I passed. Below with some of my advice, musings, and a few suggestions as you tackle this hard time.
First, do not attempt to bite off more than you can chew. If you were not one of those people that studied for 10 to 12 hours at a clip, do not attempt to do that now. The old saying is absolutely true: quality over quantity. It is better to have two or three absolutely rock solid hours a day, then to have 8 hours where you mostly screw around on your phone or are otherwise distracted and only get through really 2-3 hours worth of work. While you may be seeing this as a massive Usain Bolt-esque sprint, it's more of a thousand yard dash. You need to keep constant speed and momentum in order to cross the finish line. Find out where you top out for the day, and when you're done, pull the plug! If you find that you are not making headway with lectures, stop for the day! Instead, take that time and read the Conviser (BARBRI folks know what I'm taking about, and for those that don't, it's an abreviated form of the outlines for a given subject), do some flash cards, some multiple choice, anything. Don't keep smacking your fist into the wall, instead, let the process work for you! :)
Second, you will suck when you start! That's totally acceptable. Most of these topics you haven't seen in at least 3 years, even if you took a bar prep course at your law school of choice. Even then, you only got the cursory 30,000 ft overview. They're really taking you into the nitty gritty here, so you have to keep that in mind.
Third, it is normal to poorly on multiple choices fine, as well as essays, even when you are nearing the end! You are exhausted and mentally taxed. However, no matter what you do, always review your answers! What I got in the habit of doing was working on a set of multiple choice questions, grading myself, and taking a break. I would take maybe 20 minutes to collect my thoughts, calm down if I had done bad or well, and come with fresh eyes to evaluate the situation. Essays are a little bit different in my opinion, however. Do not immediately grade any essays that you see, or look at the model answer as soon as you finish, because it's all too easy to say "Oh, I got that!" In my most humble of opinion, I would always string together two to three essays and evaluate them in one shot. Now, you won't be there right away, but even one essay at a time, it's smart to make sure that you're taking a step back and evaluating always with fresh eyes.
Fourth, you're not going for 100%! It's easy to fall into that trap too, as we are constantly looking to be perfect as lawyers. As Chuck Rhodes Jr. said on Bllions "We [lawyers] are steeped in a culture of perfection." You're looking, as your Themis or Barbri course told you, for somewhere around a D+ plus to a C-. Keep that in mind, because there will be days that it knocks you down when you keep getting low scores. Every day, you get a little bit better, and that's how this exam works. Even if you get a 65% on a given multiple choice set, that could be passing in your jurisdiction (obviously if extrapolated out to the entirety of an MBE administration).
Fifth, if you haven't nailed down your lodging accommodations for your exam, should you require them, I recommend you lock that down absolutely as soon as possible. When I took the Ohio bar, there's a Holiday Inn that's attached to the center where you take the exam. I purposely didn't stay there, because I felt being around a bunch of nervous bar examinees would possibly subconsciously mess with my head. I stayed a little bit outside of the area, and to me, it made all the difference! Consider things like that before booking the convenient option.
Sixth, if you can have a support person, such as a mom, a dad, or another family member, I recommend you take them. They'll be there to keep you calm and help you should you have any last minute crises. Also, be sure to not vary your diet very much in the day or two leading up to the bar. Ideally, my preferred diet was protein shakes, peanut butter bread, bananas, and other easy to digest foods. I know this sounds kind of gross, but there's always one person every single cycle that decides to go get some kind of exotic meal the night before the second day, and has a really bad time!
Seventh, take care of your mental health. If you're using BARBRI, I know for a fact the tool allows you to book days off and adjusts your workload accordingly. I believe Themis may have similar qualities as well. Be sure to take time for yourself throughout the process. There is a lot of information that's going to come your way and it all needs time to settle in. Book several days off now, so that you not only have something to look forward to, but that you know that when you take a day off, you really earned it!
Finally, always keep in mind that this entire process is total nonsense! If you're smart enough to pass law school, you're smart enough to pass this exam! It doesn't matter where you're from, who you are, or anything at all about you! Get in there, and show the gatekeepers that you're more than worthy!
My thoughts and prayers are with you all as you embark on this journey! Take care and I hope to greet you all as Esquire soon! :)
P.S: the following is a playlist of music that I use to help keep me calm while I did bar exam essays and multiple choice sets. I hope it's able to help you as much as it helped me!

3 (Rhubarb), Aphex Twin, Selected Ambient Works II: https://youtu.be/fkvZOvOeON0

Blue Calx, Aphex Twin, Selected Ambient Works II: https://youtu.be/Z0jqvRT-KDE
Stone in Focus, Aphex Twin, Selected Ambient Works II: https://youtu.be/8ET1vST_xKc
dlp 1.1, William Basinski, The Disintegration Loops: https://youtu.be/DXU3_PgX8qQ
dlp 3, William Basinski, The Disintegration Loops: https://youtu.be/zj0KO2YldCo
dlp 6, William Basinski, The Disintegration Loops: https://youtu.be/oDg8rdPzhSU
Vivian and Ondine, William Basinski: https://youtu.be/VbyJtyf4cm0
El Camino Real, William Basinski: https://youtu.be/iThhLjlzOxk
Weightless, Marconi Union: https://youtu.be/UfcAVejslrU

I ran into a bit of writer's block writing the next part of Secret Chord. It wasn't helped by this weird anthology rattling around in my head. So, I decided to write it down to get it out of the way. I hope you enjoy it, or even take it as a series of possible writing prompts. I only had more ideas about the bootlegger of the story, so we'll just say everyone else is up to interpretation and imagination. Let me know what you think.
And yes, I do have a strong fascination with music. Why do you ask?
---------
Radio is a beautiful thing to Jack Rushing. The ability to reach the common man wherever he may be and bring to him the comfort and pleasure of music, the up-to-date latest news of the wider galaxy, or the simple human connection of Jack’s interludes. Now it wasn’t radio exactly, but the semantics were unimportant. What was important was broadcasting out to the galaxy at large wherever humans may be. To bring together those lonely souls adrift in the wider-
A crash brought Jack out of his reverie. His short fik assistant dropped a box after tripping over a wire. “Careful with those! We haven’t saved those yet!”
“Yes, yes! Sorry.”
Pinching the bridge of his nose Jack replied, “It’s fine. You’re doing fine, Kos. Just watch where you’re going. Now bring those here, we’re about to go live.”
Kos recovered the spilled cardboard sleeves and deposited the box on the small table beside Jack. He stood and thumbed through the selection. This box alone could buy a new cargo hauler, and the cramped studio held crates of these black-market treasures. Kindly donated by a mysterious benefactor.
He drew out a couple records and a tape then handed them to Kos. “Alright we’re gonna start with ‘Sixteen Tons” he said pointing to each song number, “Then ‘Pride and Joy’, ‘Midnight Rider’, ‘East Bound and Down’ and we’ll end with…” He dug around and exclaimed, “Ooh, this.” He handed the vinyl to the fik trying to juggle everything who shuffled into the next room. Jack could see through the glass as Kos began to set everything up, while he put on his headphones and adjusted the mic. The per-recorded program from the night cycle was ending.
With a thumbs up from Kos, Jack punched a few buttons on his console before the vintage “On Air” light blinked to life.
“Good morning, O’ wayward souls, I’m Jack Rushing back again with another slew of songs once thought lost to time. Our generous benefactor, Mr. Suit-and-Tie, continues to comb the seedy underbelly of the galaxy at large to bring you nothin but the best. Meanwhile, me and Kos, my stalwart companion, are broadcasting live from beautiful downtown Nondescript. This is the Spirit of Radio bringing you ‘Sixteen Tons’ by Tennessee Ernie Ford.” Jack pointed through the glass to signal Kos to start before muting the mic.
*****
Cooking was an art as much as a skill. Bo had cooking in his blood. History was repeating itself, as Bo’s ancestors worked as a ship’s cook to gain passage across the Atlantic, so too did Bo book passage across the sea of stars by working as the ship’s chef.
Some people say a man is made out of mud, A poor man’s made out of muscle and blood…
Bo adjusted the volume on his pad so he could hear it as he worked. He was finishing up cleaning after the ship’s dinner and moved on to his special project. He promised Mephla a specially made dinner for two. The felinoid had taken an interest in his cooking. She enjoyed watching him cook as much as eating what he made. He knew she’d arrive any minute, so he set out on some prep work.
Finding ingredients was a novel challenge, but not impossible. A passable replacement was possible with just about anything, but it took Bo the better part of a year and half seeking them out. Salt was salt, thank God, but others he had to be a bit more creative. It seemed the galaxy preferred lard to butter. Probably due to the ursdains or the mostly carnivorous population, but he could work with it. He was most proud of his most recent discovery of a little root-bulb that mimicked garlic damn near perfectly. He’d been jonesing for garlic-bread for years now, and now he could finally scratch that itch.
He began setting up his mies en place and pre-heating his oven and prized possession. Well, one of them anyway. His father always said all he needed in the kitchen was a chef’s knife and a cast-iron skillet. Turns out he was right. Those two have taken Bo from one side of the galaxy to the other. The damn electric stove-tops still irked him, but he could manage.
Just as he was finishing up breaking down the…bird of some description, The calico felinoid entered and leaned against the doorway. She didn’t say anything, just watched with a self-satisfied smile. Or maybe that was just how her face always looked. God, he loved that face.
Bo was particularly proud of the little mound of pasta he’d created. It was too labor intensive to serve the crew at large, but he’d made a little batch just for tonight. Maybe one day he’d be the one to introduce dried pasta to the galaxy, but for tonight it was a special treat for a special woman.
*****
Curiosity is what drew Mephla to the diminutive human. She saw him duck into the kitchens of the ship one day and had to know what he could possibly know about food. Peeking in reviled a pleasant scene of a craftsman in his element. The way he felt or smelled each ingredient before staring off into space or closing his eyes. He once told her he could picture how a dish would taste just from the smells of the ingredients. Of course, this didn’t stop him from sneaking tastes of each step while he worked.
Yeah I love my lady, She’s long and lean, You mess with her, You’ll see a man get mean.
She loved to watch him work; from cutting and slicing veggies, herbs, and meat to how he juggled different pots and pans to combine, split up, then recombine the food in some ritual of flavor. One of his favorite phrases was “Don’t waste flavor.” Whatever that meant, it worked. He busied himself with roasting what he called “the star of the dish” while simultaneously preparing the “landing spot” of the plate.
He began slicing the fowl and placing it over some sauce covered…something. She’d eaten enough of his food to trust him. Humans (at least this one) enjoyed meaty, fatty flavors. This suited Mephla just fine.
“Oh. Almost forgot. How could I forget?” He turned and retrieved some buttered-bread concoction and placed two on each plate. It smelled divine. She entered his temple and stood behind him, holding him tight from behind.
Nuzzling the top of his head she said, “You keep cooking like this I’ll end up as big as an ursdain.”
She’s my sweet little thang, I’m her little lover boy.
*****
Freedom was a dangerous business. Bill Elliott stared at the representation of the guard cutter currently scanning and searching every ship passing through this jump point. Not normally a problem. Not unless you happen to be haulin’ a couple tons of human contraband bound for less-than-legal ports. The next system over had the hyperspace lane entrance that’d set Bill home-free.
But I’m not gon’ let ‘em catch me, no I’m not gon’ let ‘em catch the Midnight Rider.
“I’m tryin’ buddy. I really am.” He grumbled at his radio. He adjusted the number nine cap on his head then climbed out of his seat. His rig was a supped-up cheap cargo hauler. It’d fit in just about anywhere in the galaxy, but it was packing a drive big enough to rival…well a guard cutter.
He clambered to the cargo hold to take another count of what he had. Most of the crates and pallets were labeled in code. It’d be just about the worst code one could come up with for fooling humans, but luckily the Galactic Community didn’t seem to recognize names like Marlboro or Jack Daniels. Bill’s world as a bootlegger was made of these not-so-subtle code names, including his own name.
Finishing taking stock, including the smaller cases labeled “Colt” under the floor panels, he checked on the hulking drive core awkwardly crammed in the engine bay and bleeding out into the cargo and extra crew bays. With no epiphany found Bill walked back to the cockpit and fell back in his seat.
His options were limited. He could turn around and make a few extra jumps and extend his delivery by who knows how long. Which would also be suspicious as all Hell trying to avoid a GC cutter. Or he could gamble and pass through the checkpoint, hoping beyond hope they don’t decide to pick his ship apart bolt by bolt.
East bound and down, loaded up and truckin’, We’re gonna do what they say can’t be done.
Bill chuckled, “Yeah. Let’s watch this ol’ Bandit run.” He waited for the last ship in line to jump out of system before warming up his drive. This is what the burner tags were for after all. He got the green light then put the hammer down.
*****
Enterprise is the lifeblood of any organization or business. Rohan Singh thought of himself as quite the enterprising human. As humanity was cast to the four winds, Rohan wept for the lost spirit and culture, and would do anything and everything he could to seize back control of humanity’s spirit.
Rohan eased back in his chair, propping his feet up on his desk. He pulled a cigar out of his coat pocket and lit it. The Galactic Community was no stranger to financial wheeling and dealing, however the human had a couple perks to leverage. First was a fresh perspective. A stagnate market was one just begging for any flashy new enterprise. Which led to the second: adaptability. So rote was supply and demand that any upset could cripple an unsuspecting business. And upset he did. With an army of felinoid lawyers and ssypno investors Rohan quickly build company after company within shell company after shell company.
It started simply with human-made chachkies and knick-knacks sold for inflated prices, but quickly built capital for larger ventures in ship flipping and Rohan’s favorite: casinos. There is no better cash cow than the scientifically perfected art of mass gambling. With a large influx of cash, he had the freedom to invest in…less reputable opportunities. Tobacco, alcohol, and guns sold the galaxy over. Keeping his plantations and stills secret was an ever-present challenge, but one that paid dividends. Guns on the other hand were a harder business to stay in. Oh sure, human “slug throwers” were quickly becoming popular. The demand was there, but Rohan couldn’t keep a steady supply. It seems most of the humans with the know-how simply went into business for themselves. Rohan could respect that, but he’d need one with loose scruples on the payroll. Then was the matter of drugs. How did human drugs react to alien physiology? That could open a whole new-
This next song goes out to Mr. Suit-and-Tie.
Money Money Money Money… Money!
Rohan grinned. Sure, his wealth was reward enough, but there was still his goal of humanity’s spirit. He rose and was about to key his intercom when it buzzed to life.
“Sir, the Spirit of Fortune is pulling in, and Mr. Liberty is here to see you.”
He keyed, “Send him in.” He stood then went to face the window behind his desk. It showed a view of the cyan gas giant the small station orbited. As if on cue the Spirit of Fortune began to slide into view. The massive casino ship was the first of what Rohan hoped would be a fleet. It was a cruise ship on steroids. He could imagine a Las Vegas of various ships drifting from sector to sector generating unimaginable wealth. And of course, cleaning up some of his less-than-sterling cash-flow.
He turned back to watch the approaching man pass the mirrored water features lining Rohan’s opulent office. Mr. Liberty wore a fitted suit and smart glasses and handed Rohan a pad.
“Sir, we’ve found another ring. This one operating at the edge of ssypno space.”
Taking and reviewing the pad Rohan answered, “Perfect! Do we know their source?”
“Not yet, sir.”
“I see. That’s alright. Buy whoever you can and once you have an account of everyone tip off the GC through the usual channels. I’ll put a personal bonus on every human you and your people liberate.” He handed the pad back.
“Of course, sir.”
“Good. Get going. No time to waste.” With a nod, Mr. Liberty strode back out through the front doors.
Rohan turned to observe the Spirit of Fortune once again before crushing out his cigar and keying the intercom, “Hold all my calls and meetings. I’ll be in the vault.”
“Yes, sir”
He walked to the side of his office where a hidden door was. Opening the side panel, he placed his eye up to the retinal scanner and pressed his thumb to the DNA analysis needle. With a silent hiss the door slid open, and he descended the stairs to the heavily armored room. Inside was a vast collection of human paraphernalia.
Paintings, sculptures, and general artifacts lined the walls and adorned pedestals. This quite possibly was the largest collection of human relics. Stolen and sold on the black market, Rohan made it his mission to ensure every piece of humanity’s spirit, its soul, was once again in human hands.
He slowly walked the aisles until stopping at a small sculpture of the Buddha.
“Greed is bad, eh? If that were true, you’d still be a ssypno trophy.” He slowly gazed around at his collection. He could picture the museum of humanity and its accomplishments. A vast temple that the dispersed humans could visit, and remember who they were. Know their true nature and heart. The preservation of its soul. “I’m not proud…” he spoke to the Buddha, “But it must be done.”

Not only does peanut butter taste bonza but it’s also packed with protein, healthy fats, fibre and other vital vitamins and minerals. So, why not give this peanut butter recipe a go and enjoy its delicious taste and health benefits at the same time?
Total Servings: 32 (tablespoons)
Preparation time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 15 minutes
Total time: 25 minutes
Nutritional value (rough estimate per serving): 103 calories, 9g fat, 3g carbs, 2g fibre, 5g protein
The only ingredient of this peanut butter recipe is peanuts, the rest are optional.
ingredients:
4 cups – Peanuts (shelled, unroasted, unsalted)
Salt (optional)
Honey (optional)
equipment required:
High Powered Food processor
Oven
instructions:
step one: First things first, preheat your oven to 180°C and use this time to remove the peanut skin. You can do this by rubbing the peanuts between your hands or using a clean tea towel to gently rub them.
step two: Now spread the peanuts on a baking tray. Pop them in the oven for 10-15 minutes, shaking the tray every 5 minutes or so. You’ll know they’re ready when they’re a lovely golden-brown colour.
step three: Let them cool for a few minutes before we get cracking.
step four: Now pop the peanuts into a food processor or blender. Give them a whiz for a few minutes. At first, it will look like a crumbly mess but don’t worry, keep blending. Don't forget to give your food processor a breather and scrape down the sides every now and then.
step five: After a few more minutes, the peanuts will start to break down into a paste. This is where the magic happens. So keep blending until it’s silky smooth.
step six: Now you can really customize the flavour to your liking. At this point, you can add a pinch of salt or a drizzle of honey to give it some extra oomph.
For your reference I am linking the url which help me made my peanut butter:
Url - https://teapigs.com.au/blogs/recipe/peanut-butter-recipe