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Hi reddit, im 24 male and im writing in to seek advice from you all regarding my and my family and how i should face them.
My points may be all over the place as im thinking about it as i write so please bear with me.
To start off, my family consists of my dad, my mom, my older brother (25) and me.
My dad and mom's relationship is not good at all. Dad did alot of inconsiderate things that drove my mom to have paranoia and have a fear of not having money.
For context, he used to gamble alot and was in debt when me and my brother was younger. He took out both of me and my brother's money that my mom was saving up for us to repay his debt.
There wasnt any communication between mom and dad as well which made my mom feel very alone and no one to go to to seek help for.
My mom's paranoia got very bad and very often accused my dad of having a mistress outside which i fully understand why. I trust my dad that he does not have a mistress outside as growing up, he is always by our side (he is a night shift taxi driver, so he's always not at home at night, which i suspect made my mom's paranoia worse)
Mom fully hates my dad currently and is filing for divorce which my dad do not agree to and its very hard for me to convince my mom that dad does not have any mistress outside. Even harder for me to persuade her to seek help from therapist as she firmly believes she does not have a mental illness.
When i was in my teen, 15 or 16, dad would talk to me everyday about my mom saying that she caused all of this problem. I basically got treated as a therapist for my dad and an outlet to vent his anger to. He did not physically abuse me, but mentally, he did. He does not know whatever hes doing to me is wrong, so I just listened to him, everyday, and developed a fear of going out with friends as, if im not at home, they would fight, and im afraid that it would lead to physical fights.
Back then, i used to hate my mom alot due to the constant rants from my dad. However, growing up, i realized that whatever dad is doing is wrong and slowly learned to "forgive" my mom. Right now, i do not hate her at all, but whenever i were to talk to her, a little bit inside of me hated her.
Dad got diagnosed with terminal cancer 1 month ago and can pass anytime even though he is under chemotherapy. Dad chose not to tell my mom and my brother about this, so i have to bear this secret alone.
Currently, he and mom is going through a divorce, and dad is very anxious about when the letter is going to come. I am forced to go to the hospital everyday, as if i do not show up for a day, dad would he very angry at me saying that i do not care about him which adds more stress on me. I do not want him to feel more upset, so no matter how tired i am, i always try to visit him every single day.
My brother has slight autism and does not knkw how to think for himself. Growing up, me and him were not close at all as I did not understand his condition and tend to throw my temper at him when dad throws his temper at me.
Now, my brother had mixed witb the wrong group of friends which resulted him learning all the wrong stuff (gangs), etc. He was taken advantage of by every single one he met due to his condition. He does not voice out his struggles to us as i suspect he does not know how to.
He moved out of the house 1 month ago with his then girlfriend to rent a room outside, and then the girlfriend left him, plus asking him to pay her 3000 dollars for god knows what.
Today, i talked to my brother about it and he kept saying he wanted to end it all, saying he wont come home. He kept persuading me to transfer him money to buy beer to drink at a bar. But I am still a student and recently graduated and stopped working and really have no money. I offered him to buy beer from local grocery shop as it was much cheaper, but he wouldnt listen. He wants me to go down to a bar to drink with him, but i must prepare a sum of money which realistically, i do have, but there are other things to prioritize on such as food, next month house bills.
Im afraid if i dont show up for him, he really will end it, so im forced to go down tonight after he ends work. He havent told my mom or dad as he is not close with my dad, and im pretty sure my mom wont lend him any money. So for now, im the only one that knows about this.
I feel so drained having to deal with all these stuff. I need some advice. Please help me

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Tens of thousands of South Carolina mobile homeowners manufactured before 1976 & renting the land it sits upon, can be legally evicted without cause if the Appellate court upholds the verdict of my eviction based solely upon the wording of the 30-day notice of the end of the term of their expired lease agreement.
Many, if not most renters of land in a mobile home park, have leases for one year, which likely have never been renewed from year to year, as the law states.
If my case is not dismissed, it will become 'case law', which can then be used by any greedy, unscrupulous landowner who wants to own your home to evict you and take possession of your home, whether there exists no cause or reason for the eviction.
https://chng.it/kLW47xF2

i’m usually bored at work/home, pretty much down for anything

Imagine this; far beyond the comfort of your warm, cozy home, awaits a massive world just waiting to be explored. Lively little towns packed with all kinds of different people, vast seas that stretch on for miles and miles, ancient caves filled with the stories and secrets of the past—this world really is massive! The best part? There’s a place for just about everyone here, no matter how daring or odd. All you have to do is look.
While you travel across the land, searching far and wide, you’re sure to find a place that resonates with you. From the beautiful tropical islands of the Alolaregion, to the massive bustling cities of Unova, or even Orre’s vast, barren deserts teeming with crime and chaos—there truly is a place for all different walks of life in this strange world. Not only that, but you’ll be sure to find plenty of people like you along the way. Tenacious trainers battling their way to the top to make a name for themselves, starry-eyed explorers hungry for a thrilling adventure, and of course, the most important thing: a plethora of rare and extraordinary creatures found all throughout the regions just waiting to be discovered. Seeing all of these new creatures, big and small, is only one tiny part of your mission though. Catching them will be your real test, and to train them will be your cause. But of course, like any other adventure, your journey won’t come without its fair share of hardships. What’s an adventure without a few bumps in the road after all? Whether it’s skilled trainers and gym leaders rivaling you, fierce evil teams running amok, or even these powerful creatures you wish to catch, your opponents will come in all different shapes and sizes. But it’s up to you to teach your new friends the power that’s inside them if you want to succeed. Being able to move forward no matter what obstacle life throws at you, that’s what it’s all about! So, in a world you must defend, will you be the one who gives up in the face of danger, or will you rise up and be the very best, like no one ever was? If you think you’re really up for this challenge, then I choose you!
Hello there everyone! I hope you all are having a good day or night, wherever you are in the world. You can call me Blue. If you could guess by that little snippet up there and all those awful little jokes, I’m looking for someone to play out a long-term adventure story with. Not just any story though—one for a very particular fandom. A certain monster-catching series, if you catch my drift.
As I’m playing the role of a Game Master, I’ve created a bunch of scenarios and characters for you to interact with along the course of the story, ranging from friends and rivals to villains and even love-interests if that’s something you’re interested in. But don’t think that just because there’s a whole new cast of colorful characters to meet that you won’t bump into your favorites along the way! The brilliant Professor Oak? Of course! The renowned Sinnoh Champion Cynthia? You bet! The fierce and fiery Gym-Leader Flannery? Definitely! I’m sure some of your favorites will make a cameo somewhere in the story.
Though, if you have any ideas of your own you’d like to share or add to the story, I’d love to hear them out! I have a few ideas of my own to share, but I’d rather do that in private. I’m a big fan of OOC chat, so please don’t be shy. Even outside of RP, I’d love to get the chance to chat with you casually. About the story, the characters, even just normal conversations. I’m all ears!
If you’re interested, please don’t be shy and send me a chat. Feel free to tell me what caught your eye and if you have any ideas too. I’m looking forward to hearing from you. Take care! <3

Throwaway account because this is kind of embarrassing.
Asalaam. Ramadan Kareem. I (23M) am recently out of college and have a job alhamdullilah. My sister (19F) is a 2nd year college student and had recently come home for spring break. So a little background first: despite the age difference, my sister and i were always close growing up. Growing up, she usually wore leggings, sweatpants, and baggy tshirts at home and I ofc didn't mind it at all. This was how she dressed last year as well. But idk what happened this year (i suspect she made some bad friends) but her personality changed (she became less sweet and more sarcastic, even condescending sometimes) and she started wearing inappropriate clothes at home. She's now wearing booty shorts and crop tops at home and this is making me very uncomfortable. When i told her about it, she called me a pervert (hurt my feelings a lot) and to stop telling women what to wear. She's a hijabi but she even changed her style of hijab and started wearing more makeup. My dad doesn't care but my mom and I are worried about her. What can we do?

Hello everyone, I came here from another country to do internship and I live in chorweiler. You know that there is a strike on Monday and I cannot go to work without transportain. There is no internet at home and my internship is at ebertplatz. Does anyone know of a place in Chorweiler where I can work with my computer for 8 hours?

This is my fourth try still asking for a GiftCard amounting to the same sale price of the game. I know copy paste is not appreciated here for re-attempts, but last time I really worked hard on the poem for three days (I Know the poem sucks) and people seemed displeased with it. Further I really don't have anymore to say. I have seen some old posts where this game was asked by people but was never gifted once, but some other games here are gifted again and again. I really don't know why this game doesn't get any love, but I would really appreciate you for gifting this to me. And I will one day pay you in some way or another.
What is MS Flight Simulator 2020 about?
Game (40th AE is the base game): MS Flight Simulator 40th Base Edition
Microsoft has a long history with Flight Simulators. Their first Flight simulator was released in 1982. While the previous games were fun, the new MS Flight Simulator does something incredible which no other game has ever done: It simulates the topography of the entire Earth as accurate as possible to real world through satellite data of Bing/Google maps along with Cloud Computing to generate better visuals and real data for air traffic and weather. Moreover, it also takes real wind and real-world time into consideration.
The game also has an active community-driven add-ons that only makes the game even more realistic and grander. If any game has the biggest world map of all, this is it. This game has the world map almost as big as the Earth itself. You can visit many of the world-famous attractions like Eiffel Tower, The Taj Mahal and even football stadiums! But you can also explore some famous landscapes as well, and if you fly low enough, you can experience some wildlife too. The game features Geese, Seagulls, Grizzly Bears, Black Bears, Elephants, Giraffes, Flamingos. You can experience the beautiful endless sea, but make sure you have enough fuel; You surely don't want to end up like Chuck Noland, and to make matters worse, you won't have your trustee, Wilson!
Microsoft Flight Simulator features 25 handcrafted airports, 4 classic commercial airports, 14 heliports and 15 glider airports. There are over 37,000 total airports in the game along with 37 airplanes, gliders, and helicopters with unique flight models, the likes of A320 Neo, Boeing 747, Cessna, DA62, and the cutest CTLS and A5, with detailed interiors of the cockpit. Isn't that the ultimate definition of simulation?
Why I want it:
I love exploring the world, something I am not financially able to do in real world. Every Time I watch something on TV, it's 90% of the time travel channels. The first time I tried Flight Simulator on my friend's PC, I fell in love with it. What I love about MSFS is the grand scale of the game. While in games like ETS 2 even a 4,000 KM journey can be completed in 3-4 hours, with MSFS, it would take real world time. For example, it takes ~1h 15m non-stop flight from Paris to London (Average), so it would also take almost the same amount of time in the game too (that is real world 1h 15m). Even staying in the cloudy sky is so much fun with sunlight shining, thunder and rain. I love playing simulation, tycoon games as they are the pinnacle of freedom in gaming world with no bounds. I remember when I played Flight simulator 2000 back in 2003 and wondered, what a shitty game. Seriously, at that time I thought who would play this game with 65% of the screen occupied by the cockpit? And here I am today.
What I love about the FS 2020 game:

1. There is nothing unlocked in the world. I don't have to pay extra or do specific tasks to unlock some part of the world. I can visit any place any time!
2. The scale is grand. This has the biggest map of any game.
3. So many different airplanes to choose from and they all act and feel different.
4. This game is very relaxing. I can just unwind and soak the beauty of the world from the comfort of my chair.
5. I love this game cause it takes up whopping over 150GB of Disk space.
6. I love pushing and flicking buttons. Especially the flick switches. They are so yumm to touch. And the clicky sound it makes is better than any orgasm. Basically, I am flicking and pushing buttons while flying around in a tube.
7. I can crash the plane without having to worry about anything.
8. Landing! Landing in this game is like going to final exam without studying anything. If you nail it, that feeling is amazing!
9. I can fly along with the birds!
10. I can land the plane anywhere I want. Even in a grassfields or your ex's backyard.
11. I am tired of playing the repeat levels of Fall Guys.
12. The full detailed cockpit is amazing!
13. Realistic ATC commands with interactions. If I am angry, I can choose to ignore the ATC.
14. I need to find more things I like after playing the game.

I am in touch with the MSFS community on Discord and YouTube videos, with always waiting for max737Ifly video to show up as his videos are so good and realistic (even my mom loves watching it). I just cannot get enough from this game.
I can play this game even when I am listening to Podcasts and it makes such an immersive experience. The tiny details the game provides, like waiting instructions from ATC before you move a muscle, dialing the knobs, flipping tiny switches in the cockpit only adds to the experience which I enjoy a lot. This game is enjoyed by both, casual gamers and professional pilots as well. The game sends me to another world and is like a therapy for me. And playing MS Flight Simulator makes me feel like a bird. The game brings me a joy I cannot express through words.
Here are some content from the game:

1. Some beautiful scenes (this is just a trailer)
2. Beautiful clouds
3. FS vs Real life
4. Montage
5. Hudson River

Here is me playing FS on my friend's PC:

1. Potash Ponds
2. Simpson Desert
3. The deep hole near Antarctica

why I can't get it:
I cannot afford it to be honest. I have taken some surveys to earn a bit here and there to collect for the game but it's such a long process and the reward is generally not worth it. My bad luck is that due to a technical mistake, the game was selling with 80% discount but due to time zone difference, I couldn't grab on the once in a lifetime opportunity. I also tried other giveaways for steam gift cards, but I never win them, and they are so rare to come by. I am really struggling with money and hence I am here.
Because I cannot afford the game, I tried to look into alternatives:

1. Xplanes really is the only contender, but it lacks the real-time aspect of weather, wind, terrain MS Flight Simulator provides. Moreover, it's more about planes and their simulation than exploration.
2. DCS World, which is a full-on military combat simulation game. Even though that game is extremely hard to play with a keyboard, I still managed to play some couple of hours in it. However, it's really not something I am interested in as It's not a game where you can explore the world and the Jet planes are very speedy and hard to control. Compared to that, Flight Simulator is more of an arcade style game and controlling it is fun and easy even with keyboard and mouse.

An explanation of why GamePass and MS Rewards ain't the way:
MS Rewards: In India, we can only get an Amazon gift voucher for Rs. 250 for 4,000 points. So only 162 points are allotted per day to farm. Given that, I get mere Rs. 250 in 25 days. So a total of something around 64,000 points required for a total of Rs 4000. This is what the game costs now post sale. So it would take me around more than a year to accumulate so many points. By then I might just lose interest in the game.
Game Pass: I don't have a card that can work with game pass. And in the long run it will cost me far more than what the game would have cost me. I also won 2 month free game pass key on reddit which I wasn't able to redeem due to card issue. It's a game that I plan to play for a really long time.
Also, I am saving to get a 500GB SSD just for this game along with some add-ons. I won't be asking here if I could have afforded all of these. I cannot get both of them. And SSD costs more than the game.
why you should gift it to me:
I will be playing this game everyday and you won't feel your money is wasted. This gift will bring such a big smile to my face that even Joker would feel ashamed. I know many people hoard games and don't play them, or they play for a few times and stop. I can guarantee you that once I get this game, I will be playing it every single day! This game is the reason I am for the first time requesting for a game here. And I promise I will do justice to the game and gifter. I am not requesting for any deluxe version or anything, just the base game will suffice for me. I can say it from my heart that the day I get this game, will be the day I will be flying in the air of joy! As this community works on the principle of making others happy with no selflessness! But I can never be happy unless I own this game. This game is the only game missing from my library of happiness.
If that's not enough, let me tell you something: you will feel on top of the world if you gift this game to me, even more than me. Don't ask me how. Be the first person to gift someone MS Flight Simulator on this sub and feel proud. If you don't feel on top the world, I will make sure to pick you up free of cost from your home in one of your choice of plane and will personally drop you on the top of Mt. Everest. I will also let you touch some buttons in the cockpit or let you control the yoke. But only you have to figure out how to get down from the Mt., as I will be flying all that time exploring the world. But if you don't like cold places, I can show you a secret place (This Secret place is a part of a DLC and there is a way to unlock this place)!
To anyone who gifts this game to me, I will forever remember you and engrave your name on my grave thanking you that I died in peace. And when I meet God, I will personally tell him that if it weren't for you, I would have gone to hell.
My steam ID
Price of base 40th Anniversary edition in India: Rs. 3,999. However, I will still ask for the discounted price of 2,999 which is $35. The rest I will try to manage from somewhere or use the MS Reward for 4 months.

I’ve seen the Chicco Corso Le stroller on sale this week and was wondering if anyone has any experience with it. It seems like a less popular model than the bravo but more suited for my family needs—we need an infant ready stroller that can handle a mostly walking lifestyle (no car seat needed). We have a car but mostly use it to go out of town once a month or two months to visit family so I’m getting a convertible car seat that can stay in the car. The stroller just needed to be compact enough to fit in our trunk and still have room for our luggage.
Let me know. Open to any other recommendations for infant ready strollers (not travel systems) within $450. Thanks!

I'm from a small town and have been living in Navi Mumbai for the past few years. I run my own business, and as a business owner, I know it's essential to carry myself in a modern and fashionable way. But, unfortunately, I'm still struggling with it even after all these years.
After my marriage, I gained almost 10 kgs and ended up doing housework only because my work is from home. I didn't focus on improving myself and my appearance, and now I feel like I'm stuck in a rut. I want to be more fashionable and modern, but I don't know where to start.
I've tried going through online fashion blogs, but it's not helping me much. I'm still confused about what to wear and how to style myself. As a result, I'm losing confidence in myself, and it's affecting my business as well.
So, I'm here to ask for your help. If anyone has any advice on how I can improve my fashion sense and become more modern, please let me know. Any tips, suggestions, or recommendations would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks in advance!

Donate to his veterans support charity No Duff if you can, it will go to his daughtewhanau, to return his body and continue his enduring kaupapa, which will help other whanau in this conflict and others.

No Duff Charitable Trust Givealittle page:

https://givealittle.co.nz/org/noduff

​

Kane Te Tai remembered as man of honour committed to aiding Ukraine

https://www.rnz.co.nz/news/national/486507/kane-te-tai-remembered-as-man-of-honour-committed-to-aiding-ukraine

Whānau and friends of slain soldier Kane Te Tai say he will return home as a warrior in life and death, and be remembered as a man who always fought for what was right.
RNZ understands the body of the slain New Zealand soldier has officially been identified as Te Tai and is now being transferred to Kyiv.
He is understood to have been killed while clearing a trench in the Vulhedar area of Ukraine.
Sources have told RNZ he had moved deeper into the trench, away from his team, when he was killed by Russian soldiers.
His team were forced to leave his body there, before Ukrainian marines went in and recovered him overnight.
Veteran support and advocacy group No Duff is now working to ensure a New Zealander can be available to escort his body through the country to the Polish border, before travelling with him for his final journey home.
Comrades and friends have said they believed it was important a Kiwi was always with him, but the process would not be simple.
Te Tai co-founded No Duff with Aaron Wood, who told Midday Report his mother had asked them to manage the journey home.
"We're pulling all the pieces together. A number of volunteers and interested people from New Zealand, all the way through to Ukraine and in between, are coming together to make this happen."
It was highly likely they would be able to bring him home, Wood said, but there were numerous jurisdiction challenges ahead.
Deeply respected during time in Ukraine
Te Tai joined the Defence Force after leaving high school and went on multiple deployments while serving in the 2/1 Royal Battalion.
He left the Army in 2010 and travelled to Ukraine in April last year, operating under the call sign 'Turtle'.
Te Tai was a prominent character in the warzone and was widely followed on social media.
His colleagues described him as well-known and deeply respected for his professionalism, skill, leadership and relentless sense of humour.
They said he never underestimated the importance of his job, or the lives he held in his hands.
His death marks the third New Zealander to be killed in the combat - after the deaths of his best friend Dominic Abelen and humanitarian Andrew Bagshaw.
Te Tai had become the unofficial expert for New Zealanders in Ukraine, often acting as the point of contact for Kiwis wanting to travel to the warzone. He would ensure people knew what they were signing up for, a way to get into the country and a unit to go to.
He admitted in an interview with RNZ his initial motivations for going there were selfish, but that changed quickly on arrival.
The soldier became an infamous figure in the war, often featuring on Russian propaganda sites - seen by RNZ - particularly the Wagner group, who put a NZ$11 million price tag on his head.
In a conversation with friends he joked about ratting himself out for the money, illustrating his sense of humour.
Te Tai always said to his friends he was not afraid to die, but he also was not afraid to live.
During nearly a full year in Ukraine, he garnered respect from people in all walks of life. He volunteered with Ukrainian families, taught civilians how to fight and eventually found a spot at the frontline as one of the team's leaders.
Te Tai said he was fiercely protective of his team and did anything to make sure they were safe.
During one mission in August 2022, his best friend, Abelen, was killed in trench warfare. In an interview after the mission, Te Tai said the team were unable to get his body back and it ended up in Russian hands, but that did not stop him from trying.
He told RNZ they only stopped because Abelen would not have wanted them killed in the process.
Just last week Te Tai posted on social media, revealing that while clearing a Russian position he had found a "long lost friend" who had wanted to visit New Zealand.
Te Tai had thought his friend was dead and was amazed to find him alive, describing it as a "Hollywood moment".
He said at first he did not recognise the man, who had been shot four times and was skinny.
"He'd been starved by Russians for two months and drinking anti-freeze because the Russians wanted a laugh."
The man did not want to be left with the Ukrainians, but Te Tai had to keep fighting. He promised he would return and walk him personally to hospital.
That was exactly what he did, he said.
'The people grow on you'
In that August interview with RNZ, Te Tai said he had fallen in love with the country and its people, and was deeply respectful of their resolve.
"I was sort of getting a bit bored of being at home... and coming into this conflict was just one of those things that selfishly I thought I could be close to the war without getting too entangled.
"But then that sort of changes... I've met so many people, I've been everywhere in this country and the place grows on you, the people grow on you, and their strength, and that's why I'm still here."
Te Tai said he was prepared to leave everything in Ukraine, but in the weeks before his death he had made moves to return home.
His mother said he always kept her up to date, ending the calls with "I love you Mum", but more recently it was like "I'll see you soon".
In a Facebook message to another friend he said he loved Ukraine, but it was time to start living a real life - "gotta put the toys away and start to build while I can", he said.
"That's enough war for me, I love this place, it's like a playground where I can do anything I want.
"But that's the problem isn't it? So before the game gets me or before I decide that life here is too easy, maybe it's time to start living my real life.
"This place is pure escapism, we are all trying to run from something, mine is from having a real life, but the time is near."
Passionate about the cause
Te Tai is being remembered by his friends and comrades as a man of honour who was passionate about his cause, always doing everything he could to protect people.
Longtime friend Aaron Wood described Te Tai as a beautiful man, who he loved to bits.
"He just wanted people to live their best lives and he wanted to help as many people as he could.
"That sounds like a cliché, but with him it's a truism. That's his whole life... Just serving people, that's what he did, that's what his message was."
That was what he died doing, Wood said.
His mum, Ngaire Te Tai, said there was never any talking him out of it.
"He never did anything by halves, my son. We tried to stop him, but he had his mind made up, that's just Kane.
"When you were around him, you just felt safe."
A gift she said she knew he spread much further than just Ukraine.
Ngaire Te Tai's final comment about her eldest boy was: "Don't let my son's death be in vain."
He leaves behind a 12-year-old daughter.

“Don’t get me wrong, I don’t find anything glorious about killing young mobilised Russian boys who are crying in their trenches”
https://www.stuff.co.nz/world/europe/300777917/the-shelling-is-so-close-it-makes-you-puke-says-kiwi-fighting-in-ukraine

The shelling is so close it makes you puke, says Kiwi fighting in Ukraine

A Kiwi soldier fighting under Ukraine’s military intelligence says he’s prepared to die.
Kane Te Tai, code name Turtle, is fighting in a secretive reconnaissance unit on Ukraine’s front line in the eastern Donetsk region.
After deaths, injuries and resignations, Te Tai now leads the Foreign Reconnaissance Team after only joining in July.
A December article in The New Yorker magazine revealed the existence of the unit and featured Turtle.
It’s the same unit that 28-year-old Kiwi Dominic Abelen was fighting in when he was killed in August, and the two were like brothers.
Te Tai’s unit has set up a PayPal to fundraise for vehicles it needs to move around its area of operation, near the town of Pavlivka.
As Te Tai was interviewed, he had to be careful his phone wasn’t too bright, so as to not give his unit away to any Russian drones flying overhead.
“We live on the line, we just occupy whatever place we can find at the time. If it gets too hot we just find somewhere else,” he told Stuff.
His unit’s job is primarily reconnaissance, a small mobile force that could reach into Russian land or no-man’s land between the trenches, and destroy a tank or hold a position, before the Ukrainian army moved in.
“Find it, locate it, observe it, report it, attack it.”
Good 4x4 vehicles are a necessity.
Donetsk is known for farming and coal production, and Te Tai described the land as similar to the Canterbury plains.
Soldiers try and use the tree lines separating the fields for cover, and trench systems are built through them.
During the winter, the roads and fields are muddy, pocked by craters from Russian artillery barrages.
The Foreign Reconnaissance Team can get the necessities of war – food, bombs, clothing, bullets - just fine.
Reliable working vehicles and parts, and enough for an emergency stockpile, are harder to come by.
The Foreign Reconnaissance Team is reliant on vehicles driven into Ukraine from throughout Europe by volunteers and paying for them with donated money.
“You can use that vehicle until it is blown up or you crash it, unfortunately both those things happen all the time,” Te Tai said.
“The last three vehicles we’ve had, in the last month, they’ve been hit with artillery. Holes in the front, s... just smashed through.”
Unlike the famous International Legion Battalion, which tens of thousands of foreigners have joined since the start of the war, the Foreign Reconnaissance Team is for some of the highly-trained foreign few.
Te Tai served a tour in Afghanistan for the New Zealand Defence Force and thinks of himself as having spent his whole life training to fight.
His team is given autonomy, building trust with local Ukrainian commanders to find out what they want and then formulating missions.
Te Tai was able to talk about one operation the Foreign Reconnaissance Team conducted during a December battle in Pavlivka, first described in the New Yorker article.
Te Tai and a small team of a half-dozen were set to cross a bridge at night and enter a tree line which ran into the centre of the town.
The mission was to see how close they could get to the Russian positions before they were fired on.
“The moment that we got onto the bridge, everything just opened up, rockets, missiles everything. We ran across this bridge and were just trying to scramble to the safest nearest spot.”
Te Tai’s team managed to get into the tree line and into a trench – all in the dark – but the Russians began to shell progressively towards them down the tree line.
“I remember just looking at everyone in the pit and we all had this look on our faces like, ‘well, the party had to end some time’. We had this feeling of acceptance.”
But, just as the next shell was set to kill the team, it flew off somewhere else and the Russians then began to bomb regressively back along the tree line.
“By divine intervention we missed getting smashed... We all knew we were supposed to die that night.”
Before joining Foreign Reconnaissance, Te Tai was working for a church training Ukrainians in basic military skills.
He was open with people back in New Zealand about what he was experiencing, including old army colleagues.
Te Tai described an environment where Kiwis in Ukraine often stayed in touch and worked together, including Dominic Abelen who contacted Te Tai before making the trip.
When Abelen said that he was set to join the International Legion Battalion, Te Tai told Abelen he was hearing bad stories.
“You go there as a foreigner, you get given a weapon, some ammunition, and sit inside a trench and you fight or die, that’s how it’s portrayed.
“People would tell us: 'Thank you for training my son, he didn’t make it back, but I felt he was better off than he was before’,” he said.
Abelen, now with the nickname Tolkien, made his way into the Ukrainian army, but managed to get taken into Ukrainian military intelligence.
Talking to Abelen about what he was doing, Te Tai had had enough of training soldiers and the 37-year-old felt like he was running out of time to fight.
“I told him [Abelen], ‘I’ll jump in with you too’.
“And he [Abelen] was like ‘thank God, cool man’,” said Te Tai.
He ended the volunteer work and a recruiter told Te Tai to get to Lviv where he entered a secretive military intelligence training camp.
Recruits weren’t allowed to use their phones and were closely evaluated for a two-week period.
“Pretty much from the second they take you into the camp, they don’t tell you what’s going on.
“They operate it like a psychological test, to see if you can be just told what to do and not know any other parameters,” he said.
Access to weapons was heavily restricted and there was heavy scrutiny as Ukrainian officials went through candidates’ records and social media, trying to weed out spies and the weak.
“When you talk to someone, it’s always a cover story, you’re never talking to who you think you’re talking to,” Te Tai said.
Then, one morning in July, officials gave Te Tai a contract and drove him to the Foreign Reconnaissance Team in Donetsk.
“As soon as we pulled up... Dom had no shirt on... he said, ‘let’s do some work’.”
“I was like ‘my man!’.”
Abelen had put in a good word for him with Ukrainian intelligence, Te Tai said.
He gave Te Tai the code name of Turtle, after he had originally named himself Talon. Talon was too cool, Abelen said.
Te Tai described new troops arriving for the unit as a big event, a celebration of strengthening the group after the fighting took its toll.
“There’s a high attrition rate either by death, injury, or guys wanting to leave.”
The Foreign Reconnaissance Team currently operates out of a house, planning their missions on a whiteboard.
“We’re normally strapped for time. If we’re not out working we are resting, or we are giving instructions.”
Te Tai said there aren’t ranks in the unit, so while he is the team’s leader, he sits on the same step as the other foreigners in the unit.
He eats Ukrainian food: soups like borscht, and two-minute noodles and toast.
At night Te Tai watches Netflix and YouTube fail compilations to decompress. Sometimes, he hears the Russians shelling, keeping him awake.
When you’re fired on by artillery, you can hear the lifespan of the shell, he said.
He described how shells left the Russian gun with a distant duh-boom, screeching through the air, before exploding somewhere on the Ukrainian side of the line.
Some shells landed far away, but some hit so close to soldiers that the concussion made them puke and made them feel sick for the next day, he said.
“That shit happens like every week.”
About six weeks after Te Tai joined the unit, Abelen was killed during a mission.
“It pissed me off more than anything, it just consolidated for me that I’m not leaving any time soon.”
Te Tai said Abelen didn’t have a death wish, but he was a soldier and fighting was what he had trained for his whole life.
“I could have told him, ‘you are going to die today’ and he would have been like ‘it’s a good day to die’, that’s just who he was.”
Killing didn’t weigh on Te Tai’s mind, he said. He described it as part of the job, and said his views hadn’t changed since Abelen’s death.
“Don’t get me wrong, I don’t find anything glorious about killing young mobilised Russian boys who are crying in their trenches,” he said.
“I’m willing to die, for sure, but I don’t want to die.”
Te Tai has no plans to leave and wants to attend a victory day parade in Kyiv.
“I know we’re going to win, I know that for sure,” he said.
“I’m staying here until I can’t take it any more, or I am dead.”

I have always been so confident and secure in being alone. But these past few years, especially these past few months, a hole in my heart appeared that I do not know how to fill. I find myself wishing at least even once to experience what it is like to be seen, truly seen, but to be loved in spite of all my insecurities and things that I do not like about myself. I am afraid that I cannot keep up with the initial relatively good impressions people have of me, because I feel I will disappoint them later on when they get to know more things about me. I have been feeling bound to disappoint people I grow fond of.
Is it because I also feel this way towards others? Something seems wrong with having left off important and vital friendships of my life these past few years and going almost radio silent. The main reason I tell myself is my heartbreak from an unrequited love I have been keeping to myself for almost 7 years. Can somebody help me explain these feelings and how to cope?
I see my high school friends growing up all around me getting married and having kids. I feel like the world revolves while I am standing still. Nevertheless, being radio silent gave me insights on what I wanted my future relationship to be like, albeit aching as I witness people have these kinds of love in their lives while I don’t.
One of these things is a (healthy) letting go of physical beauty. I envy couples who get bigger when they get into a relationship, because it shows they still love each other’s souls no matter what shape their physical bodies take form. It’s like letting go of heavy expectations on what we must look like, because we know we will still be loved. I think it also inspires the right kind of exercise and working out—because then we can confidently do it for health, as vanity gets out of the picture with this healing kind of love.
Another thing that I would want in my future relationship is the space for independence. I ache as I witness my life devoid of this kind of love, of having found a home in another person after going out there in the world. It is like loving and embracing another person’s freedom to have other fulfilling friendships in their life without being threatened. My god, how beautiful must that be? To have a love that helps you keep a well-rounded life.
Anyway, I am still extremely aching as I type this. Please share with me your insights. I am looking into visiting a therapist to help me deal with my problems with myself. Any help will be appreciated.

I have shares in multiple pubs for sale for people who need to clear tasks. Make an offer.
IGN: Leanne Jay

Sorry guys, this is really long.
I’ve been feeling really happy lately because I feel like I’ve finally found some friends and I seem to be getting on well with everyone from work. About a month ago a coworker invited a few of us round and we had a really good time. There was some bitching going on but I didn’t really get too involved.
Unbeknownst to me, one of my coworkers (who I get on well with, let’s call her D) fell out with a few of the people that were at the gathering a month ago. I like D. She’s very upfront and can be quite loud, and apparently she was overheard talking about how some of the coworkers at the get-together were constantly bitching about people at work, and went into detail about what they were shan’t ( I’m guessing she felt they were being unfair.)
They told me about this yesterday during a night out with 5 of us from work for my coworker’s birthday. This was the second time I’d been out with everyone, including that night when all of us were together. I had no idea there was a falling out and apparently they don’t like D!!!!! At first I was upset with D because it felt like she was stirring things and being twofaced. They said she was not to be trusted.
However, as the night went on, I realised D was right. The bitching did not stop. Some of it was warranted, some of it was just so petty and it felt like they were taking people’s actions in bad faith. A lot of the people they were bitching about are people I like and I don’t think they deserve to be spoken about in that way. They said not to trust certain people at work, including someone I’m quite good friends with at work, and said that this friend and D and another coworker were cliquey and not to be trusted. But I get on really well with them and I don’t really see why they would say that?
At one point, they were bitching about another coworker who has gone through a lot and said something really mean about them while laughing . I said ‘oh but (coworker) is a sweet heart and quietly said ‘that’s mean’ but I hate hate hate that I didn’t stand up for her and the others more. They also said this co worker was bad at her job, and I didn’t really say anything, but I should have.
Another time they were saying another coworker’s home was a mess and there was cat poo all over the floor. Sounds to me like they were depressed and it’s not nice that they were spreading that info around. They also bitched about a coworker who reached out to talk about her miscarriage (the person bitching said she knew she’d asked her because she’d also had a miscarriage, and she felt like she was being used only speaking to her when she needed to trauma dump.)
It was all just so mean-spirited and nasty. And I just feel awful because, although I didn’t really say anything specific or substantive about anyone, i was just laughing along and nodding and saying ‘oh no way!’ Or ‘omg that’s bad’ and kind of reaffirming what they were saying without really saying much. Because I hate confrontation and am a people pleaser to a fault. When they spoke bad about the coworker who went through a lot I didn’t join in, same as when they were speaking about my good friends being cliquey. But the rest of the time, I was a coward and just went along with it . I was getting progressively more drunk as the night went along and I’m worried I said something mean about something and forgot about i? I seem to remember most of the night so I hope I’d remember if I did.
I also chose to go out with two of the bitchier people for more drinks. I should have gone home and this isn’t an excuse but sometimes when I’m drinking I just can’t stop. I’m also bad at saying no to people. And I don’t get out much so I just wanted to keep going? I was hoping we could just talk about something else and dance a bit
Idk I feel awful about it now. I should have gone home. I don’t know what to do now. I kinda wanna speak to my close work friends about it but D can be very loud and I don’t want to start office drama and get a reputation as a stirrer? But at the same time, I don’t want it to come out that I was participating and didn’t mention anything to them? One of the close work friends, who was also invited, didn’t come because she was Ill. She asked how it went and I said ‘it was ok but would have been better if you were there.’ I was tempted to say there was too much gossiping but idk if it would get back to the other coworkers and then there’d be a load of drama in the office.
They want me to come out with them again but I think should just find an excuse not to go because I realise now they are just mean about people and I don’t want to be involved in that. It’s not a nice way to be. I also think they probably have a reputation for being mean (esp as they kept saying not to trust people) so I don’t want to be associated with them. But like, if I distance myself from them I feel like they’re going to start bitching about me too? And I confided some stuff to them (because I’m stupid) and I’m worried they will use this against me. And also they will likely say I’m two faced because I took part in the gossip. I’m not sure what to do and I feel early fad