Red Bull team principal Christian Horner claims a rival team targeted their sponsors after they were penalised for breaching F1’s budget cap last year.
The team denied knowingly overspending but later signed an agreement with the FIA accepting a ‘minor’ breach of the spending cap and were punished with a fine, a reduction in their spending cap for 2023 and a 10% reduction in their aerodynamic testing allowance for 12 months.
Speaking to the i newspaper, Horner claimed an unnamed rival team deliberately used the furore over their budget cap breach to target Red Bull’s sponsors.
“It tainted us,” Horner said. “These things get used by your rivals. We had one of them contacting our sponsors and partners making suggestions that we would be bringing their brands into disrepute. That was just underhand.”
Despite winning the last two drivers’ championships with Max Verstappen and dominating the 2022 season on their way to their first constructors’ title since 2013, Red Bull have at times been the subject of controversy.
The team’s intense fight with Mercedes in 2021 – where Verstappen and Lewis Hamilton clashed on multiple occasions fighting for the championship – led to heightened tensions between fans of both drivers on social media which flared again after Red Bull being found to have breached the budget cap. Horner suggests that the intensity of criticism they face would be reduced “if we had a British driver like a certain team in Brackley [Mercedes]. We are too easily seen as the bad guys.”
Red Bull have dominated the start of the 2023 season, taking two pole positions and two one-two victories in the opening two rounds in Bahrain and Saudi Arabia. However, Horner says he does not expect their dominance to go unchallenged throughout the entire season.
“There is always something, always a technical directive that drops, a game changer,” Horner said.
“You can guarantee that the others will be scheming, ‘how can we slow them down’. It’s part of the game. Having lived through it before you become more seasoned in how to ride it out.”
Source: https://www.racefans.net/2023/03/25/underhand-rival-used-budget-cap-breach-to-court-red-bull-sponsors-hornerrival-used-budget-cap-breach-to-court-red-bull-sponsors-horne

Greetings! This chapter sets the stage, does a bit of worldbuilding, and expands on our absolute cinnamon roll of an alien deuteragonist.
Anyway, as always, I hope you enjoy. :)

CHAPTER 2

15 minutes ago
——
Y’ggdrasog nervously whistled to himself as he remotely piloted an unmanned stealth drone from his cloaked ship in the upper atmosphere of the alien planet, yet every so often did a happy little wiggle in his seat at the terminal. Despite the danger in what he was doing, he was shaking with excitement and literally glowing with glee (which, if you were curious, happened to be a lovely shade of banana-yellow).
But my apologies, dear reader; I’m getting ahead of myself.
You see, Y’ggdrasog worked as a galactic interplanetary system scout, colloquially known as a “spacer” among the citizens of the Ul’dril Galactic Collective (a governmental alliance between a wide variety of different sapient species that also happened to be his employer). His main function was piloting his personal scout ship to uncharted star systems to summarily un-unchart them.
While in this line of employment, he had been witness to countless wondrous things. He had seen stars go supernova, witnessed space dust forming beautiful nebulas tens of lightyears wide, and caught the frosted trails of comets slinging close enough to a star to off-gas their icy payloads. But nothing even came close to this, to every spacer’s wildest, most fantastical dream discovery:
LIFE! And not just any life, SAPIENT LIFE!
As the drone flew through the sky, descending towards the surface of the planet below, he reminisced on that fateful day approximately six planetary months ago…
He had been scouting the ice and gas giants in this yet-uncharted solar system, scanning their composition with the unmanned probe-drone he used to sample geological deposits, take gas samples and so on to determine if they could be possible new sources of rare elements to harvest for the Collective. He had just finished probing the seventh planet out from the star when he suddenly picked up multiple abnormal readings originating from the ocean-planet of the system. He sighed, figuring it would just be the usual; some leftovers from a solar flare that affected its magnetosphere or some such.
As he listened in through his radiation wavelength analyzer, he expected to hear the meaningless, purposeless static he had heard hundreds of times before. Instead, he heard strange patterns. Hang on, was that… were those- They were! Voices, in a language he didn’t recognize.
He recorded a sample, then pulled up his auto-translator and had his ship’s analytical programs study it, in case it was a distress call from some poor sap who had crash-landed their spacecraft. …But not a single known language was a match.
He scratched his head, puzzled. Could it be a code of some sort? It wasn’t uncommon for smugglers, pirates, spies, and other “off-the-books” types to hole up on uncharted worlds and use coded verbage to prevent detection by Collective authorities. He had the ship analyze it to at least determine what Collective species the vocal cords that produced them were, but again, no matches, not even when he had it scan the audio samples for possible voice-altering.
He sat back in his pilot seat, stumped. Then, he started connecting the dots.
If the vocal cords producing these noises weren’t recognized as a species already included in the Collective, that meant these were the voices of a species unknown to the Collective. An unknown species, but one that was was nonetheless smart enough to use radio waves…
His eyes flew open, and his bioluminescence began to glow the pure white of sudden realization.
…BY THE SPIRITS, IT WAS A NEW SAPIENT SPECIES!
He leapt up from his chair, and would have nearly deafened anyone nearby with the joyfully excited noises he started to make.
…Luckily, however, he was in space. And after all, in space, no one can hear you squee.
It took him nearly an hour to calm down enough to call it in over his quantum communicator and provide the audio samples he had recorded, then another hour to reassure his liaison on the other end countless times that no, this was not a joke, this was not a lie, an elaborate prank or some such- yes, he would be more than willing to testify to the truth of his statements in a Collective court, and yes, this was in fact the once-in-multiple-millennia moment he and most every spacer in the entirety of the Collective always dreamed of:
THIS WAS A NEW FIRST CONTACT!!!
…As Y’ggdrasog left Memory Lane and turned back onto Present Day Boulevard, he let the controls go for a second and proceeded to spin around in his chair in sheer excitement whilst giggling like a madman, literally glowing with giddiness, before swiftly grabbing the control stick again before the drone drifted off course.
HE found a new sapient species! HE did! He’d be in the Collective history archives for the rest of time!
…Months of preparations had to be done beforehand, of course. He had to wait a few long, loooong days on the outskirts of the solar system with his ship in full stealth-mode (so as to avoid attracting attention from the new species until the time was right) before a truly staggering amount of Collective ships arrived, chock-full of top experts in all sorts of social and scientific fields to fill any conceivable role in the analysis of this new species.
While he wasn’t allowed to participate in the work himself or see most of what they were doing, he was nonetheless ecstatic with the knowledge that the work was being done all because of him. Plus, at least he could attend certain intelligence briefings on their main findings as well as look at heavily-redacted versions of some of the results of their endeavors.
Various scientists from the myriad Collective species and dozens more scientific disciplines had gathered together, set up shop within a day and gotten to work. They performed long-distance surface scans, mapped the planetary geography, and analyzed their atmosphere and planetary conditions to determine what Collective species might be compatible for potentially cohabitating with them.
Y’ggdrasog was delighted to learn that they utilized oxygen for respiration just as his species (lumigog) and tens of others in the Collective did, in contrast to Collective species who had to have, say, an atmosphere mostly composed of carbon dioxide, who were out of luck.
Additionally, they drank the same liquid water for fluid regulation in their bodies as his own people did. …Though admittedly, at a much narrower spectrum of salinity than his own species was capable of tolerating. He found that a bit tragic; there was so much water to be found in their homeworld’s oceans. Yet unlike his own people, who could drink from nearly any water on their homeworld, these “humans” could only drink what they called “freshwater.”
However, any sadness he felt about their situation faded when he learned that the gravity of their homeworld was only 1.04x that of his own species’ homeworld; this meant that at least in the case of lumigogs, the answer of cohabitation was a very solid “yes!”
Moving along, the scientists in charge of engineering and military endeavors surreptitiously analyzed the humans’ levels of technology to determine their capabilities, if they were a potential threat to the Collective, and so on; they were deemed, to quote the spokesman of the Collective military, “mostly harmless.”
Y’ggdrasog thought this might be a bit unfair. …That is, until he read the reports, and found yet another reason to pity them. From what little he was able to read of the heavily-redacted documents, the humans were very, VERY primitive. Spirits, they hadn’t even developed fusion yet!
…Still, that was all the more reason to help them; and to do so, they needed a proper line of communication. Countless diplomats, ambassadors, emissaries and representatives of every Collective race were attending seminars on all the sociological experts were learning about the species’ social norms across distinct cultures. And most importantly, the linguistic experts and etymologists got the ball rolling for the true-AI algorithms of the larger vessels (far more complex than his own ship’s operating systems, which only measured in at a few paltry yottabytes) to sort out the languages these “humans” used.
…Speaking of, just how many languages did they need?! With each additional language that was added to the auto-translator databases, he thought surely this one will be the last, but no! You couldn’t swing around a “noodle” of “spaghetti” (the humans always seemed to choose such silly names for their food) without hitting someone speaking a new language!
But all the pity, sadness and frustration he felt was outweighed by the jubilation he felt knowing that all these countless man-hours of hundreds of individuals per each and every Collective species were happening because of him. All these people were here because HE found them, and he was ecstatic at the impossibly exciting prospect of welcoming this new species into the Collective- or on the off chance they didn’t wish to join them, it was determined that it was safe to at least uplift them technologically so that they could be potential new allies, as well as potentially provide new avenues for trade and commerce of never-before-seen exotic goods. After all, there was hardly any risk in doing so, as they were quite literally outnumbered by over a million to one by the allied races of the Collective.
…And after all that, when they had quadruple-checked everything, then quadruple-checked it again to be absolutely sure, the day of first contact FINALLY came. Everyone brought out the celebratory drinks, snacks and party favors. The diplomats sent out their messages in hundreds of human languages declaring a desire for peaceful contact, promises to assist them in the technological uplifting of their species to a post-scarcity way of life and an offer to join the Collective for the benefit of all parties involved, and THEN…
…
……
…Nothing.
No response…
After a few nervous, awkward hours of sitting alongside the other low-ranking crewmates of the larger vessels, he and all those around him got orders of radio silence from high command and for all the “non-essential” personnel to return to their ships and wait for further orders.
As he remembered the sinking feeling he’d experienced at that moment, Y’ggdrasog unconsciously gripped the drone control stick much tighter than necessary.
…All that waiting, the agonizing waiting for them to greet this new species, the one HE found, and for what?
More. Thrice. Damned. WAITING.
…But this time, there wasn’t even a payoff to look forward to, and no one above would tell him what was going on. He didn’t know why there was suddenly so much smoke in the air of the planet, nor what all those bright flashes lighting up the atmosphere midway through the first day were- and there were certainly no answers coming from high command.
He had to sit there in his spacecraft, and just… wait.
One planetary day passed. Then another. Then another, and so on.
In the downtime, he read and reread the guidelines for first contact back to back over and over again, trying to find out what the possible reason for the wait could be. …Unfortunately, all that availed him was eye strain and an extreme amount of boredom from trudging through all the legalese.
After a week of sitting around, watching the planet slowly spin beneath him while in orbit, he couldn’t stand it any longer. He needed to know what was wrong. He NEEDED to act- if only to silence the creeping dread that had slowly but surely permeated his entire being. A dread born of the worry that something had gone horribly, catastrophically wrong…
And thus, an idea formed: His drone.
He knew the humans’ tech levels; there was a smaller chance they could detect him than the literally astronomically low odds of him finding this species to begin with. …Instead, he was far more worried about the potential ramifications if anyone from high command knew what he was up to.
Long before the radio silence commenced, he was told in no uncertain terms that no, he couldn’t scan the planet, no, he couldn’t act as an ambassador, YES, they really meant it, and NO, it didn’t matter that “he really really REALLY wanted to help somehow, please please pleasepleasePLEASE-” …and after that last bit, they shut down his outgoing comms to high command for a full planetary month.
^…Jerks.
Er- more importantly, he was told that while no, he couldn’t help in the preparation process, after first contact commenced his main function would be to do what he did best. Scouting and scanning to tease out any additional information he could on the planet’s natural resources in order to assist with the technological uplift process.
The thing is, they had given no specific time frame- …just “after first contact commenced.”
Technically, the current time frame satisfied that condition.
So technically, he wasn’t doing anything he wasn’t supposed to, he was just- ^…uh… …t-taking initiative!
They couldn’t court-martial him for just doing a little scanning here and there to get ahead of his own workload, surely.
…And it would just be an entirely coincidental, happy accident if while doing this he managed to find out what in the name of the spirits above was happening.
And so he had slowly, carefully moved his ship in such a way that he was currently orbiting in what he hoped was the blind spot of most of the ships of any higher-ups.
…Purely so as to, uh- better position his drone’s entry point into the atmosphere, yes! Rest assured, he was only motivated by- um… a-avoiding negative weather patterns. ^{…Or something like that.}
Once in position, he released and directed it towards the planetary surface.
If lumigogs had sweat glands, his would have been in nervous overdrive as the drone descended through the atmosphere.
Would he be detected? Would this all be for naught?
He waited, glancing between the ships around him and the drone’s interface on his monitor, but from his readings on the other vessels it seemed like all the command ships’ sensors were focused on the bigger population centers of the planet. He let out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. He was safe- if only for now.
…He’d have to focus on a rural area. Despite every loophole and excuse he could come up with, he’d still be much better off remaining undetected and not interfering in whatever might be going on in more concentrated pockets of the species. It would likely take much longer to gather information this way than heading towards the larger population centers in search of clues, but he could still poke around on the sly for any information he could tease out from the surroundings.
…And hopefully then he could finally get the answers he so desperately craved.
<“Alter descent velocity. Slow to 50% speed and activate autopilot mode.”>
Y’ggdrasog looked at the aerial scans, deciding that what seemed to be an area focused on harvesting crops with a long road running alongside it dotted with the occasional primitive ground vehicle would be as good a place to start as any.
He highlighted the road with a flick of a clawed finger.
<”Descend to 100 meters above planet surface, then follow highlighted path at 20% speed. Proceed.”>
As the drone dutifully obeyed his commands and traveled along the stretch of paved road for a time, he was surprised at the lack of humans to be found despite the vehicles present. Each and every one had seemingly been abandoned; they all sat still, unmoving. His curiosity piqued, he highlighted a few of them in the control interface.
<“Halt forward momentum. Descend to 50 meters from planetary surface. Scan and analyze condition of marked targets.”>
As he finished his verbal command, the familiar synthesized voice of his drone’s onboard computer blared to life from the speakers of his terminal.

He shook his head, puzzled.
<“What happened here…? …Alright, ascend, 300 meters from planetary surface. Continue forward movement following the highlighted path, 15% speed.”>
Farther and farther the road stretched, but he didn’t see a single human upon it, nor in the surrounding area. He sighed and absent-mindedly gazed around at the surrounding environment. He couldn’t help but marvel at how- well, alien it all looked. The taller plant life he saw appeared to be quite complex, their stems covered in thick fiber and their extremities full of- oh, what was the word, “leaves?
…He hadn’t paid all that much attention during the portions of his schooling that covered exotic alien plant life found on feral worlds and the various homeworlds of the other races of the Collective. He figured he’d never really need to interact with much beyond the giant fungal pods, great lichen growths and so on of his homeworld. He was a spacer for spirits’ sake, not a xenobotanist, and-
…Wait, what was that?
<“Halt forward momentum. Reverse 50 meters. Pan visual sensors left, 30 degrees.”>
He squinted at the incoming visual feed. He was right, there was something laying in that ditch! Probably just a random piece of detritus, but better safe than sorry. He highlighted it.
<”Scan target. Assess.”>

<”...Descend toward target, 5% speed.. 2%... halt.”>
His eyes narrowed further as he zoomed the forward visual lens in. Whatever it was, it looked to be a biped, and-
…Wait a minute, he recognized that body structure! Spirits be praised, this had to be one of the members of the new species!
It- they, he corrected himself- had pale skin, long, dark brown fur atop their head, and were wearing clothing covering their torso and legs- though much of it was stained red, running all down the left side of their body.
What were they doing all the way out here in the middle of nowhere? And why were they laying in a ditch, unmoving? …Were they ok?
<”Scan target, and establish connection to ship auto-doc subsystem. Assess physical condition and cross-reference with known anatomical data of species designation: human.”>

Y’ggdrasog nervously swallowed, trying to center himself and focus despite what he had just heard. Well, that certainly answered that; no, she very much was NOT ok. Whatever had happened to her, it really messed her up.
<”Analyze if damage sustained is life-threatening without intervention given circumstances and location.”>

He swore under his breath.
<”...Expand and clarify analysis.”>

<”C-certainty of analysis conclusion…?”>

He put his head in his hands, his bioluminescence flickering between several colors- none of them good. Spirits above... She was going to die unless someone helped her!
…
…But he was in no position to do so…
He knew deep down that he was deluding himself if he thought he could get away with this if he was caught. No amount of loophole abuse and“legitimate” excuses could save him from severe negative repercussions, not when it came to something as serious as first contact.

He was already risking enough as it was…

Maybe he could let someone in one of the other ships know- no, that would give away that he’d been poking around on the sly…

Maybe- maybe someone else would find her in time, and they could save her? Or maybe, despite the odds, she might just get better on her own? Even if it took her past the 1.3 cycle mark to do so, there was still a- his brow furrowed as he did the math- 0.0000028% chance that she could survive, and a chance was a chance! …Right…?

No one would know if he didn’t intervene. It would be so easy- no chance of getting caught, no risk, no danger, just pull the drone-prone back to the ship, return to his original position, scrub the flight logs, and-

…
……
…No.
No, she’s not.
He opened his eyes and spoke, voice full of grim certainty.
<”Descend to two meters above highlighted subject. Very, VERY carefully use stasis field to attach to subject, entangle her matter with an equivalent mass of carbon from the fabricator hold, then return to quantum anchor point with cargo and safely lower the subject prone beside the drone chassis. Proceed.”>

He got up from the terminal and took off for the drone bay as fast as his taloned feet could carry him, one thought repeating itself over and over in his head as he went, a mantra of sorts:

I'm putting this here because some people may not have access to where I posted last night.
Some of you may know that my wife Kim has not been in good health for quite a while. I don't know that I've ever told anyone on here the full extent. So buckle up. This is going to be a long and bumpy ride.
She has been diagnosed with COPD, congestive heart failure, kidney disease, morbid obesity, diabetes, degenerative joint disease in her hips and knees, and neuropathy (nerve damage) in her feet and ankles. Two of the medications she takes for pain cause constipation. Not only that, but she has dealt with claustrophobia, anxiety and depression for years, and more recently agoraphobia.
Anytime some little sniffle entered the house, she would end up in the hospital with bronchitis and pneumonia. February 2020 was no different...until COVID. They discharged her earlier than they wanted to because they had four or five positive cases on the floor where she was and they didn't want to take the chance on someone like her catching it. At the time we thought it was a great idea, or at least the lesser of two evils.
But when someone with severe anxiety and depression gets word of a global medical pandemic, their mind starts working overtime. We were one of the households that started panic buying things like toilet paper and canned goods and cleaning supplies and hand sanitizer. We had to wipe everything down before it came into the house. We had to leave mail and packages outside for 24 hours before we brought it in.
And she never left our bedroom. She freaked out every time one of us left the house. We had to change clothes as soon as we came in and leave whatever we were wearing outside for 24 hours. And it's not like we have a little mudroom or anything like that. Front door, front room...side door, kitchen...back door, family room.
When you lay in bed for months and months on end, you lose function of your body. You lose strength. You lose the ability to do things most of us take for granted, such as get up and go to the bathroom. Eventually she developed something they call foot drop. Instead of your ankles forming a normal L shape, they look more like hockey sticks (or feet in high heels). And when you do get up and put weight on your heels, you fall backwards.
And that is exactly what happened to her couple months ago. If I hadn't been standing right behind her, trying desperately to hold her up, she would've smashed her back into the bed frame and done some serious damage to her already compromised body.
Kim has been in this hospital for seventy days. She's been in five different rooms on four separate floors, including a week in the intensive care unit. She has almost died three times, through no fault of the hospital. Once was due to her poor breathing and her highly diminished blood oxygen level. She was given three options: use a BiPAP machine, get a tracheostomy, or go to hospice.
I ended up bringing her BiPAP machine from home and she has used it maybe half the time. You can't put a full face mask on someone who suffers from claustrophobia. You also can't rely on a BiPAP machine to breathe for you. Then it becomes more like a ventilator and, since she has filled out "do not resuscitate" paperwork, a ventilator is out of the question.
She and I have talked on multiple occasions about what her future will be like. I have asked her point-blank a number of times whether or not she wants to live. Some days she said yes, some days she said no. I've always held out hope that there would be more "yes" days.
We had a family meeting today with the doctor, the physician assistant, the charge nurse, the case manager, and reps from physical therapy, occupational therapy, respiratory and cardiology. They explained her situation in great detail. They talked about why she has consistently been denied when it comes to rehabilitation centers. Some places don't accept my insurance, some places don't have bariatric beds available, and some places don't think she's made enough effort.
In the past seventy days, physical therapy has attempted to work with her eleven times. She has refused on six occasions. The first four times she excepted, it was simply a matter of sitting up on the edge of the bed. It was no effort to have her stand, because they were concerned that she would fall. But last Thursday, they lifted her up on what's called a Hoyer sling, sat her down in the chair, and helped her stand up twice. It was maybe a total of a minute, but it was more than she had done in 4 1/2 months.
We thought it was a turning point. We thought maybe she was actually going to do this. Then the next day she had another episode with her oxygen levels and apparently at that point decided that she was done.
So, after this meeting, after discussing the entire situation with me and with her daughters, my wife has decided on hospice care at home. It's definitely not what I wanted. But I told her that it was her decision and I would support her, no matter what.
She kept asking me what I want. I finally told her that I want her to be comfortable with whatever decision she makes. I can't and I won't make the decision for her. And I won't try to convince her to change her mind, no matter what I want.
She's 58. We've been together for almost 20 years and married for just over 6. She has three children, 40, 33, and 27. We have three grandchildren, 9, 4, and 2. But she's been suffering from physical and emotional pain for so long that none of that seems worth it to her. I can't say I understand. But it's her decision.
If you're still reading this, I'm grateful. There's a lot of pain and frustration in those words. I don't know if you believe in any sort of divine being or not. Personally, I no longer do...but that's a completely different post. And I would really appreciate any positive vibes, good juju, prayers, etc. that you can spare. I know that a dear friend of mine is struggling right now due to her father's health. And I know that people often say "I'll keep _____ in my thoughts and prayers." And right now, Kim and I could use all the help we can get.
Thank you JJ

A slice of space rock no larger than a credit card could run up a big sale price at a Christie’s auction in the next few days. The item up for bid is a small piece of the first recorded meteorite seen as it dropped through the sky and landed in a wheat field. In … Continue reading The first space rock ever recorded slamming into Earth is up for auction

Previous.
Captain Vohr’Doe walked along the hall of the crew quarters, hoping that Kyle wasn’t in his ‘living’ room; there was something he'd had delivered to his equipment room that she really wanted to see, but didn’t think it would be prudent to simply ask to see it. As Captain, she had - of course - been given an inventory of the items he had delivered, and while a lot of it seemed to be a bit much - like the meat smoking pit, along with the filters to keep his room safe - there was one thing that she couldn’t quite put in that same category, regardless of how much upkeep it would need.
She very well could have put in a call to security to find his location, but she knew he would be either in his ‘room’, or in his ‘equipment room’, and it was good to take a walk among your crew from time to time; let them know that you don’t think of yourself as better than them. So it was that she greeted the members of her crew that she passed, taking the time to speak to them, and make sure they were doing well. And so it was that she finally made it to his room, and pushed the call button. After waiting a few moments, she pressed it again. Finally, she decided he wasn’t in his room, and turned to head towards the elevator to take her down. However, she had barely taken three steps when he turned the corner, prompting the slightest twinge of disappointment.
He was dressed in a black silk shirt, with a pair of pants that were made to have lots of room in the legs. The waist obviously fit him, and yet, the legs themselves seemed to be made for someone much larger than himself, as his legs had plenty of space to move around inside the pants. They also had a peculiar color scheme, as the left half was all black, and the right half was a deep, vibrant red. There were pockets about halfway down the legs, with metal chains hanging on them. She could also see that he was barefoot, and while there was no rule saying he had to, she was aware that his people usually wore shoes when out in public. But, he wasn’t hurting anyone - namely himself, in this instance - so she didn’t bother about it. He was also still wearing the sun-shades that he had on before, and she had to wonder as to why seeing as she had read that Sol was just as bright on Earth as the lights on the ship. Perhaps the mahn’ewe operate under dimmer lighting? Two years would be time enough to shift someone’s vision.
He had in his left hand his tablet, his face pointed entirely at the screen, and in his right was a plastic container, that was square-shaped, with rounded corners, the base of which was the size of his whole palm, and which flared out about an inch along its length upwards. It was mostly full with what appeared to be tiny, tan-gray seeds, and even as she watched, Kyle lifted it to his mouth and simply stuck his tongue out, using his saliva to adhere the seeds to his tongue. He was just lowering his hand - having retracted his tseed-covered tongue back into his mouth - when he stopped, and she got the feeling that he’d finally looked up, and saw her; which was solidified when he said,
“Hey, Cap’n; fancy seeing you down here.” She didn’t miss the note of trepidation in his voice.
“Well,” she began, “I actually came down to see you. Do you have a minute to talk?”
“Of course,” he replied, “Here, or…?”
She smiled, and said,
“Your room should do fine, unless you wish to go somewhere else?”
“Oh,” he replied, somewhat flustered, “No, my room’s fine; just a second…” and he made his way over to his door, opening it for her.
And upon the door opening, she was at first confused, as she was confronted by a wood-paneled wall about six feet from the door. Then she realized that these were the crates his things had been shipped in. He must have had more things in them than she’d originally thought, as he had yet to unpack it all even after three Standard days aboard this ship. However, when she stepped in, and walked around the corner around ten feet to her left, she saw an entirely different sight.
To her right was a 7’-tall entertainment center, about 5’-wide, and a monitor inside that took up the entire space from left to right, though it was only about 4’-tall. The top of the monitor was about level with the top of her chest, with a shelf above it that was filled with various personal effects. Most all of these were variations of a winged lizard that looked remarkably like the reptile aspects of the drahk’mihn, not least of all because they were all different colors.
There were what looked like egg-shaped geodes, the upper ‘faces’ missing about a quarter of the ‘shell’ the insides each dyed one of the six primary and secondary colors, with a miniature lizard curled protectively around its corresponding color. There was a timer-glass - the bottom bulb containing red sand - with the side ‘pillars’ that connected the ‘cage’ holding the glass center steady being one of these creatures on each side, mirrored by identical creatures on the ‘bottom’, relative to whichever was on the top at any given turning. There was a large figurine that was of a multi headed example of these creatures, one red body, with multiple other colored heads, one being red, but the others being blue, green, black, and white. Everywhere she looked, there were figurines, pictures, and posters - held to the wall with magnets, it looked like - all of them containing these creatures in some setting or another. Just as she was about to comment on them, a light turned on on a nearby table, and she looked in over to see a white orb made of plastic. In certain parts, there was obviously more plastic layered than in others, creating ‘shadows’ across its surface. As she studied it, the ‘shadows’ seemed to look almost like craters.
“Earth’s moon?” she asked, turning to look at Kyle, who - she just noticed - wasn’t looking at her. In fact, he seemed to be looking for something. As she watched, he scanned his room, looking over every surface, and even under chairs, and in the space under his desk in the corner where his legs would go. He didn’t seem to notice she said anything, taking several seconds before he turned, looking at her with a slightly surprised look on his face, saying,
“Hmm?” distractedly, until his mind seemed to catch up to what she’d said, as he followed that up with, “Oh, right; yeah, that’s Luna. It was only ‘illustrated’ to show the light side, so the other side isn’t ‘stenciled’ to show the cities on the dark side.”
“Oh,” she replied, “I didn’t realize that Earth’s moon was tidally locked... Well, I can certainly understand the sentiment: no matter how much I enjoy being out among the stars, surveying new plants, my home planet will always hold a special place in my heart.”
“Pur’Rosse?” he asked politely.
She gave a small laugh, and replied,
“No, I was born on one of our colony planets: Clash’Rept. It’s not very large, or particularly important, but it’s home… If I’m interrupting your search for something…?” she finished, gesturing for him to continue. She saw him go a little red, as he sheepishly chuckled, and it was at that moment that she noticed something else: while he was still wearing his glasses, the lenses were now completely clear, with no tint at all. It seemed that he noticed what she was looking at, as he went slightly cross-eyed, then gave another small laugh.
“Just a second.” he replied with a slight smile, as he finished giving his room a quick sweep, then entered his connected bathroom. After about a minute in there, he stepped out, took off the glasses, and set them down on his bedside table. “A week was more than enough time for the A.I. studying the things I sent back to be able to reverse-engineer their cloaking devices, and then upgrade it. With that, comes the tech to detect them, if they happen to try sneaking up on me again.”
The fact that the mahn’ewe had access to invisibility technology wasn’t lost on her, however, she chose a more… intelligent question to ask.
“And you expect them to come here?” she asked with a slight smile.
He looked a bit ‘on-the-spot’, and gave a smile of his own.
“Well,” he replied, “Not exactly ‘expect’, but let’s just say I’m acutely aware of the possibility.”
She nodded, conceding the point, and decided that was a good enough explanation, so she changed the topic.
“And what are these?” she asked with a slight smile, “They look vaguely familiar.”
Kyle smiled at this, and he replied in a genuinely happy tone,
“Dragons; they can be found in the mythos of just about every human culture in history. They can range from benevolence, to malicious, and everything in between. They usually have control over some element, from fire, to ice, to lightning. Some legends have them controlling every element, or just being all-powerful… Plus, they just look cool.” he finished excitedly.
“Well,” she replied in a slightly amused voice, “I have to agree with you, there.” finishing with a light chuckle.
The conversation seemed to stall there, and Kyle was the one to broach the subject.
“So, you wanted to talk to me?” he inquired, with a note of trepidation creeping back into his voice.
“I did.” she replied, with a gentle firmness; she didn’t want him to feel more threatened than he already - obviously - was, “It’s come to my attention that you haven’t been interacting with the ship beyond your two rooms, and that you give the most minimalist of replies when addressed by your fellow crew members. And while there’s no rule that you have to interact with the crew, I’ve been informed that you haven’t even been to the cafeteria to eat. Obviously, I have no problem with you having your own food and cookware,” here she gestured to the air filter hanging over a stovetop/oven in the corner, “But it’s starting to unnerve the crew a bit. You must understand how it looks to someone on the outside: all anyone is aware of is that you’re a Class 12 aggressor. No one knows why you’re classified as such, and I know you don’t want to tell the story to anyone else; hells, I doubt you would want me telling the story on your behalf.
“So the only thing they have to judge you off of is the official Federal rating on you, and your behavior you exhibit in front of them. Now, I’m not asking you to spend all of your free time fraternizing with everyone you see. However, if you could just start by going to eat with everyone else - perhaps go down to the gun range? - I’m sure that you can meet new people, who simply want to know you… I read your psych report: I know what you went through as a child. And while I can’t guarantee that no one on this ship will bring back memories of the tormentors of your childhood, I can guarantee that the majority will leave you pleasantly surprised,”
If what she’d learned from her interactions with the suun’mahs, and the kanfi’doe - not to mention Kah’Ri - was anything to judge by, then he was very clearly expressing guilt, with his head dropped, and him seeming to be unable to make eye contact. Finally he broke the silence, looking at her sheepishly, saying,
“How far d'you think I can push the ‘unpacking my massive amount of personal items’?” with a shy smile on his face.
That drew out a genuine laugh from her, and she smilingly replied with,
“I think you’ve pretty much used up that time. I’m sure we could pass it off as the only reason you’ve been so reclusive, but it won’t work for very much longer.”
Kyle gave a resigned sigh, and in a matching voice said,
“Alright, I’ll go out more besides, you’re right about the gun range: I’ve only ever shot any guns once, when a… an acquaintance brought his pistol and rifle on a camping trip. I was invited to go to this National Park by some people at work, and I didn’t have a really good reason to refuse… Anyway, I really do have a few more things to do in my equipment room, though; so, would tomorrow be okay?”
She smiled at this, and said,
“That would be acceptable, thank you.” she didn’t want to end on this note, however, so she cast her mind around for anything to talk about, and her mind latched onto something,
“What was that that you were eating when you were in the hallway?” she asked, gesturing to the plastic container he’d set down on his desk.
He smiled at this, and brightly replied,
“Oh, those’re sunflower seeds; well, sunflower kernels seeing as they’ve already been shelled.” and here, he walked over to a cabinet that was used for storing utility items, which did have a few cleaning supplies in the bottom, but the shelves were filled with snack foods. From one shelf at about his shoulder, he pulled an unopened, identical container, and tossed it to her. Having removed the plastic film around the edge of the lid, she opened it, and - mimicking Kyle - she stuck her tongue into the mass of kernels.
The kernels - themselves - had a light, almost bland taste to them, but in a good way. There was a definite taste to them, and not so little that she actually needed so many at a time, but also not so strong as to be overpowering. It was very much something that she could eat if she was feeling ill, and having trouble keeping down more rich flavored food. Plus, the salt was applied in such amount as to enhance the flavor, and not to overpower it. She couldn’t find anything wrong with it. However, one thing occurred to her, somewhat belatedly.
“Are you sure this is safe for me?” she asked with a small smile.
“Yeah,” he answered, smiling, “Kay’Eighty’s already gone through the medical records of the different species, at least, what’s available to the wider public. There’s not really much that we can eat that other species can’t, and there’s not really much that you couldn’t eat, anyways.”
“Well,” she began with a slight laugh, “That’s good to know… Speaking of Kay’Eighty, may I meet her?”
“Of course.” he replied, and reached into his pocket, pulling out a small blue box, that soon morphed into a foot-tall, human-shaped ‘robot’; though, ‘android’ would probably be a more fitting descriptor, at this point.
“Hello Captain Vohr’Doe,” she said, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
Captain Vohr’Doe smiled down at the tiny person, and replied,
“And you, as well. How are you enjoying your stay here; is there anything I can do to make your time here more…” She wasn’t quite sure what she wanted to say here: ‘inclusive’? ‘Enjoyable’? Whatever she wanted to say, it seemed that Kay’Eighty understood, as she responded with a polite smile, and to say,
“Thank you, Captain, but I have everything I need, supplied to me by the humans. All I need - really - is material to feed my nano-forge in the off chance that I were to lose any bots, for whatever reason, and - again - I have more than enough in storage.”
Not wanting to overstay her welcome, she decided to leave them to whatever they needed to do. So with farewells all around, she took her leave, carrying the container of sunflower kernels that Kyle gave her.
================
Ah’Sheen hated being so small, at times. At only a foot tall - or two feet long on all fours, and counting their tails - the miu’alfar were the smallest sapient species in the known galaxy. Though, it wasn’t the Federation - in and of itself - that made it a problem, as there were all sorts of workarounds that the Federation went out of its way to implement that were to the benefit of the smaller species. But in every civilization, there were always the extremists. People who thought themselves superior to others for whatever reason, and thought that gave them the right to bully others. And that led to ‘trickle-down’ bullying, which led to her current situation.
The three rahv’oyeck that had been harassing her had been content to hurl insults at her, mocking her for being so small, even though the rahv’oyeck didn’t grow taller than two feet, themselves. But when she’d turned the corner into the connecting path - on a street it would be referred to as an ‘alley’, and in this case, wasn’t covered by the security cameras - her vision went completely dark, as one - or all - of them manipulated the light from her eyes. Unfortunately for her, she had been close to the edge when this happened, and her momentum couldn’t be stopped so suddenly, as she’d sped up to try to get away from them. This led to her falling the ten feet to the floor below. Luckily, her people could survive greater falls with minimal injury; it didn’t mean it didn’t hurt, though, as she rolled into a sitting position, a bit winded from the impact.
Of course, this led to a cacophony of laughter above her, which quickly came down to her level, accompanied by the flapping of their wings. She heard the female of the group talking, first.
“Wow” she said in amused awe, “You made her eyes into mirrors! How’d you do that?”
The one to her left - a male - replied in a smug voice,
“Yeah, my dad taught me about that: basically, you just have to reflect all the light from a surface, and it makes a mirror; takes a lot of focus, though.”
“So,” said the one in front of her, a male, “Where were you heading, rodent?”
“Please,” she replied, “Leave me alone; I won’t tell anyone, just let me go.”
“I don’t know,” the one who was apparently blocking her vision said with vindictive pleasure, “We were on our way to lunch, and I’m thinking you might just make a tasty meal.”
There was laughter, then the female said,
“She may be small, but I don’t think you could finish her by yourself.”
“Oh, didn’t you know?” he asked, “Rodents have collapsible spines; I bet I could swallow her whol-rgck!”
His voice cut off into a choking sound, as at the same time, her vision came back. The first thing she saw was the two rahv’oyeck who were directly in front of her, and to her right; both of whom were staring - with their beaks wide open - at something above them all, and to her left. Looking in that direction, she saw Kyle, and an instinct to run and hide flashed up inside of her at the sight of him.
The first thing she noticed was his face, which was twisted into a pained-looking rictus, a bastardization of the smile he gave to Kah’Ri at lunch the other day. Firstly, there were too many teeth visible; as well as his gums. And though she couldn’t see his eyes, she was instinctively sure that there was zero amusement behind that ‘smile’. Backing this up was his right arm extended all the way out to his side, who’s hand was currently wrapped around the throat of the rahv’oyeck who had used his Gift on her. The fingers on the end of his wings were scrabbling at Kyle’s hand, trying to free himself, but Kyle’s fingers might as well have been made of steel, for all the good it was doing him; he finally settled on hanging on to Kyle’s hand to relieve the pressure on his throat, which Kyle didn’t seem to be squeezing enough to entirely cut off his air, though his hand was visibly shaking from the obvious restraint. His voice reflected that almost-painful restraint of rage as he - in the icy voice of a psychotic murderer trying to sound innocent - said,
“You know, I thought I heard the squawking of a bunch of seagulls, but turns out it was actually laughter. And so I thought to myself, ‘Hey, I like to laugh; maybe these seagulls’ve got some jokes.' So I decided to come and find out: What’s so funny?”
The other two just stood there, beaks still open, and a tremble now running through their bodies as they stared on in obvious terror; here was the Class 12 ‘beast’ Kor’Rah was referencing the other day. After a few seconds of silence, Kyle gave a casual flick of his wrist, sending the bird in his hand fluttering behind him, and showing a supreme lack of concern for the life he was literally holding in his hand just moments before. At the same time, he bent forward, reaching out towards them. The other two obviously - along with her, she had to admit - thought that he was reaching for one of them, as they both fell over themselves trying to scramble away from his outstretched hand. However, he surprised them all by grabbing Ah’Sheen around her waist in an unexpectedly gentle - while expectedly firm - grip, and lifting her up, placing her on his left shoulder as he straightened up. Looking down at the two in front of them, he said in soft growl,
“You know, humans have two rules -” here, he looked to the side, and his voice momentarily took on a bit of a distracted tone, “Actually, humans have a lot of rules - but two main ones that you’re dangerously close to breaking unforgivably. First and foremost being: don’t mess with my friends.” and here, he walked past them, leaving them staring up at him. She didn’t want to seem like she was making fun of him, but she felt he was leaving himself open to it from the other three there, so she sent a tendril of thought to his mind, which he accepted, and through it she said,
‘You said there were two, but you only told them one.’
She felt the smirk he was suppressing, and he said back,
‘I know, but there’s always one who has to be Billy Badass.’
Almost as if on cue, they heard a rather hoarse voice behind them say,
“Yeah, and what’s number two?”
Kyle stopped dead, and slowly turned, as she felt him let the rage bubble back up to the surface. She felt vindictive smile crack his face, and he practically growled through clenched teeth,
“Fuck around, and find out.” and with that, he took a quick, hard step forward, causing all three of them to scramble around, and take to the air, flying in the complete opposite direction. Kyle gave a snort of laughter, and continued on the way he was going, which turned out to be to the elevator. He was about to push one of the buttons, when he froze, seeming to think of something.
“Um,” he began, “Where were you going, by the way?”
She gave a slight laugh, and said,
“Well, I was going to lunch; why, where are you going.”
“Oh,” he replied, “I was heading to my equipment room, but I can drop you off on my way.”
“Oh,” she said, “Well, if you’re not going, then I can wait for a while: they mentioned that they were heading to lunch, as well, and I don’t want to deal with that. You can set me down here: I’m sure they won’t try anything, again.”
But Kyle was still for a few seconds, before he pushed the button to take them to the equipment rooms.
“I got something that can hold you over till dinner.” he said as the doors began to close.
She wanted to decline - not because she was afraid of him, but because she didn’t want him to go through any undue effort on her part - but she thought better of it; if for no other reason, than to ‘force’ him to put her down would be to take another fall similar to the one she just took earlier, and she didn’t want to go through that again. Soon enough, they were in front of his equipment room, and he motioned for it to open, and she was confronted with a wall of wooden crates. Kyle didn’t seem to be bothered by it, as he turned to his left, and walked around the corner, revealing a mostly clear room. He had obviously put his stuff away, seeing as the room was mostly clear, with the only thing out of the ordinary was a big rectangular metal box in the far corner, and a bunch of large canvases on the walls. The canvases were all of various things, from a dark forest, to nebulae, to a ‘cartoon’ tree, with a large gray trunk, and purple leaves, with golden light shining through the cracks.
Kyle walked over to the box, setting her - along with his sunglasses - down on the desk that came with the room beside the box, he opened said box, pulling out two cylindrical plants with long, green leaves. Each was individually wrapped in plastic, and were quite obviously frozen. As he walked over to one of the closets that lined the walls, he opened it to reveal a large cooking pit. He walked a bit further in, and picked up a smaller pit, one that was just barely taller than herself. He set this one beside the larger one, filled it with lumps of what appeared to be coal, and set it alight. He reached up, and turned on what she took to be an air filter, judging by the sound of an air-intake. As he stepped back, her eyes moved past him, to the spot that was hidden from her view before, as this was on the other side of the box ‘wall’ he seemed to have purposely constructed, and she couldn’t help but gasp when she saw it.
There, to the right of his door - though you wouldn’t know that walking in, obviously - was a 10’-tall tree, and as unexpected as a tree on a ship would be, it was what the tree bore that was the real shocker. For all over it, from the highest branches, growing from vines that wrapped their ways around the trunk, to other, thicker vines that grew around the base, sprouting large green fruits, some of them even bigger than she was, as well as a yellow-tan plant that had almost sharp-looking leaves sprouting out of the top. Kyle followed her gaze, and in a smiling voice, said,
“Oh, yeah; that’s my fruit tree.” he said, as he walked over and picked her up, taking her over to the tree, “Those are apples: ‘red crisp’, there, and those are called ‘granny smith’. The red ones are sweeter, while the green ones have a more tangy bite to ‘em. Those’re ‘oranges’, and the larger ones are called ‘grapefruits’; ‘mangoes’, ‘pomegranates’, ‘peaches’, and ‘bananas’. On the trunk are red and green ‘grapes’, ‘strawberries’, ‘blackberries’, ‘raspberries’, ‘blueberries’, ‘passionfruit’, and ‘dragonfruit’. Down there are ‘watermelons’, and ‘pineapples’. Just a small sample of the fruits from Earth, but the ones I’m most familiar with.”
She was stuck staring in awe, and finally found her voice enough to ask,
“How are there so many different fruits on one tree?”
“Well, before the scientists moved on to manipulating the human genome, they started with plants. Besides making actual hybrids - like, mixing the qualities of multiple fruits together - they made hybrid plants wherein they grow multiple different instances of fruits, or vegetables, like this one.” and with this, he reached out, and pulled a large bunch of the ‘strawberries’ from the vines, using his shirt as a makeshift ‘basket’.
He then took her back to the desk, and set her down, then returned to the opened closet and retrieved a machine that looked like some kind of food processor: it was a large pitcher that sat in a smaller machine-base, with four small blades at the bottom of the pitcher. After he set that down on the desk, and plugged it in, he took the remaining leaves off of the strawberries, and dumped them - one by one as he finished with them - into the processor. Reopening the freezer, he scooped out some ice with a metal scoop, and filled the pitcher almost to the top. He then went over to another closet, and this one was more shallow - mostly a closet to hold coats - that had been converted into a liquor cabinet, stocked floor to ceiling with many different spirits of many different colors. He selected a clear bottle, and closed the closet, returning to the desk.
After he poured a measured amount into the pitcher, he put the lid on the top and - while holding it down, one finger hovering over one of the buttons, he looked over at her and said,
“This’s gonna be kinda loud.”
She covered her ears, and he pushed the button, activating the blades to begin pulverizing the contents of the pitcher. After almost a minute, the harsh crushing, grinding sound fell away, replaced by the loud wiring of mechanical parts. Kyle shut the machine off, and reached into a cabinet over the desk, pulling out two glasses, one several inches taller than the other. After he poured the delicious-smelling drink into the glasses, he handed her the smaller one, and she took an experimental sip: it was delicious., and she told him so.
After he had taken his own drink of the mix - and nodded his thanks to her - he reopened the box, this time reaching into the furthest-most left side, on the other side of the partition, where items that needed to be kept cold - but obviously not frozen - were kept, and pulled out a bowl with a lid on it. Looking over at her, he asked,
“How are you with… ‘jhode’yuus’, the drahk’mihn would call it; we call it ‘butter’ - at least, in English, we do.”
“That’s not a problem,” she replied, “Being a mammal, milk - and milk by-products - are easily digestible by herbivores; it’s the actual meat that we can’t process.”
“Cool.” was all he said, and proceeded to open the bowl, taking a plastic seal off the top. Out of the cabinet to the right of the one containing his glasses, he pulled a small rectangular box, from which he extracted two long sheets of some thin metallic material. He folded them in half long-ways, and cinched the ends together, the metal being extremely pliable. Taking a spoon out of one of the desk drawers, he then scooped a large dollop of the ‘butter’ into each ‘trough’ that he’d made, and opened the two containers, pulling out the vegetables inside, stripping the outer leaves from the seemingly now-thawed vegetables, revealing the yellow-white kernels that were hidden beneath.
“This’s called ‘corn’,” he stated, “More specifically, ‘corn-on-the-cob’. There are several ways to prepare corn, but by far the best way to do it is like this. You can boil it in a pot - sure - but I prefer to boil it in butter, on the grill.” and with that, he set each ‘cob’ of ‘corn’ on the bed of butter, closing the metal over the tops of each. He then took the metal-wrapped vegetables over to the pit, and set them on it, placing the lid back on the pit.
He came back, and sat down at the desk, taking a large - for her, anyway - drink from his glass, and she was suddenly struck by the silence. It occurred to her that asking ‘how have you been’ would be both hollow, and a bit invasive, seeing as they’d only met once. She looked up at him, wanting to say something, but still not knowing what to say, her mouth left slightly open. However, when she looked at him, she saw a strange smirk on his face, and before she could think of anything to say, he took the initiative, answering as if she’d asked a question.
“I’ve been good - well,” he said in a slightly distracted voice, “As good as can be expected, anyways. I’ve been mostly just unpacking; been doing that for the past three days. I haven’t encountered anyone tryin’ to mess with me, but I’m guessing that’s ‘cause they don’t wanna be killed - or eaten - by the ‘Class 12 monster’.” he finished with a smirk.
“Well,” she began in an almost flustered voice, “I’m sure that’s not…” she then thought better of her response, “Yeah, that’s probably it. There’s never been a Class 12 sapient species make it very long before driving themselves to extinction. People fear what they don’t know.”
“Yeah,” he replied easily, “I’m used to that. But we’re not really a ‘Class 12’ under most circumstances. I mean I’m sure you - as an expeditionist - know that a species isn’t rated on their everyday behavior, so much as their most extremes. And actually - for the most part - you’ll have to worry about humans trying to pet the various sapient races, as they’ll see them as just ‘too cute’.” he finished in an amused voice.
She hesitated for a moment, and found the courage to ask - albeit, in a timid voice -
“What… What made them classify you as a ‘12’, then?”
The look he gave her, it wasn’t anger; actually, it wasn’t anything. If she had to name the expression on his face, it would be ‘neutral’. However, there was a deepness to his eyes when he looked into hers, a dark pit of emotions that she felt could swallow her whole if she gazed too long into the abyss of his pupils. Then he blinked slowly, and that was replaced by a gentle sadness as he replied,
“Trust me, you don’t wanna know.” and though his voice had a note of that gentle sadness his eyes held, there was no anger, or offense; something happened on that ship that he knew would damage her. A notion crossed her mind then, of a temporarily insane example of the creature who wanted so badly to crush the life from the rahv’oyeck he held in his hand, with no filter, no control. A slight shiver went down her spine, and she gave a small nod of agreement. He gave her a gentle smile, and changed the subject.
For the next six Standard minutes, or so, they talked about their homes. He had given her his native language, stating it would be easier for them to speak in their own languages; he already had her’s, of course.
He told her about going camping back on Earth, the animals he saw, the wild apple tree he found, and even showed her photos on his personal communication device from Earth. And she was in awe at the beautiful landscapes he showed her, from green clearings in the middle of a vibrant forest, to a lake with a horizon of hills behind it, and even some animals, a lot of which looked unfamiliar, though she did see a black animal version of a galan’zhee. It was about as tall as the grass around it, and she was amazed when he told her that the grass was level with his own head. She wondered how he could take that picture with such a large apex predator looking at him - as it was in the picture - and she was shocked when he told her that all you have to do with 'black bears' is to make a lot of noise, and make yourself look big; that for all the damage they could do, they’re really just big balls of fear.
From there, he inquired about her home life, and so she told him about the colony planet she was born on. It was not really much different than the pictures on his device, with the notable exception that there were no predators larger than an adolescent miu’alfar, and those are very skittish as it is, avoiding any life forms bigger than themselves. There was also the notable difference - from Moor’Ess - of there being a definite day/night cycle, and how they didn’t need sunglasses to operate in brighter lights. He informed her that he wore them to protect his eyes, and that at home, he would block all windows from allowing natural light in.
It was during this that something from before occurred to her.
“Say, Kyle: did you really mean what you said to them, back there?” she asked a bit timidly.
Kyle scowled at the walled-off door, as if they were waiting outside.
“Damn straight.” he practically growled, then his expression cleared into one of slight confusion, and he looked over at her, saying, “Wh- um… Just so we’re like, on the same page here: what-uhh, what part did you mean?”
She laughed a little at this, and with a bit more confidence said,
“The part where you called me your friend.”
Kyle’s eyes opened a bit wider at that, and she got the distinct impression that he’d been caught off guard with that, but instead of trying to backtrack on it, he simply asked,
“Well, shouldn’t I?” with a funny little smile on his face.
“Well, no-” she replied, slightly flustered, “I mean, yes, I just… I mean, we just met; I didn’t want to assume… I mean…” she trailed off, not really knowing what to say. But to her relief, Kyle’s laugh that followed was one of polite amusement.
“It’s okay, I understand… Nah, humans are a social species, even introverts like myself. If there’s no reason *not* to be friends with someone, we can usually ‘buddy up’ fairly quickly. Add in the fact that we’ve been dreaming of ‘aliens’ since before we had radio waves, and most people out here’ll be hard pressed to find an enemy in humans. Not to mention that you all look like some kind of animal from back home, and yall’ll be havin’ to beat humans off with a stick; metaphorically speaking, of course…. Mostly, anyways…” to which they both had a good laugh.
Finally - though she barely noticed the time go by - he went to the pit and took the corn from the heat, and put the lid back on, closing the door behind him.
“I’ll deal with it all later,” he said with a small laugh, the metal-wrapped corn being held in his shirt, like the strawberries had been.
She chuckled, herself, as he pulled plates from one of the cabinets over the desk. After setting each ‘cob’ of corn down, he took the handle of the spoon, and used it to tear open the metal wrapping, spilling out the corn ,as well as the ‘butter’ it was cooked in; and the smell was absolutely divine. After he had poured out the contents of each wrap, and they had allowed it a couple minutes to cool, they dug in, with Kyle providing another large dollop of butter on each plate, instructing her that the best way to eat it is to slather it with butter, which was easiest done by simple rolling the corn in the butter.
It was delicious; better than the smell, even. For several minutes, they were both silent, each enjoying the crisp, rich taste of the Earth food. Finally, they had cleared the cobs of all the edible kernels, and had also each taken a bit of time to gnaw on the film that surrounded said kernels, that had stayed stuck to the cob. Kyle then went over to the tree and collected a large bunch of fruit, consisting of a couple peaches, a bunch of red grapes, a bunch of blackberries, and a few strawberries. He took them over to the desk, collected a bowl from another cabinet, and after retrieving a knife from the desk, began cutting up the bigger fruits into smaller pieces, depositing them in the bowl. After he was done, he shook the bowl around, effectively stirring the fruit without any utensils. He then set the bowl down, and retrieved two forks from the desk. He set one down in front of her and - with a slight smile -asked,
“You okay with sharin’ a bowl with me, or would you prefer your own?”
She picked up the fork and - without a word - began spearing pieces of fruit. He gave a small smile at that, and she could have sworn she saw a bit of relief in that smile, but she was focused on eating her dessert. And it was delicious, as well.
Not that any of the fruit she was eating was necessarily better than any she’d eaten before, but it was all entirely new, and all delicious. She particularly liked the peaches, though calling them the ‘best’ was only possible by a small margin.
They wound up spending all day in his room, talking about their lives back home, their likes and dislikes, and generally just becoming friends. She was a bit surprised at how easy it was to talk to him, and the more she got to know him, the more she believed that she didn’t want to know why his race was a Class 12.
She also met the A.I. that had volunteered to work with him - she was not assigned to him, as the humans accepted their A.I. as equals, and didn’t treat them as simple computer programs. And she had to admit, Kay’Eighty was a very personable being, being just as emotive as any biological person she’d ever met.
They had a nice dinner in his equipment room, him grilling a steak on the smaller pit in his closet, along with some of the salad he’d made for her, consisting of what he called ‘lettuce’, ‘tomatoes’, ‘cucumbers’, slivers of ‘carrots’, and ‘croutons’, which were little squares of re-baked bread, which left them more crunchy than if it had simply been toasted. Once again, everything was delicious.
Finally, she began to feel the effects of having been drinking and talking all day, and began to feel drowsy. Upon noticing this, Kyle began cleaning up, then - more gently than before - lifted her to his shoulder, again, and as such, they left his equipment room. From there, he escorted her directly to her ‘living’ room, where he bid her goodnight, waiting to leave until the door closed behind her.
[Next]

It's bittersweet actually.
They were my best friend of almost 20 years, and the last 4 years living together was mostly great. Lots of laughs, lots of stories, we shared cats and it felt like a nice little family we had.
Then late last year, something happened. The dynamic changed and it felt like we were fighting constantly, mostly because I just kept trying to understand why there was a change in dynamic to begin with. I felt used and taken advantage of, I felt ignored by this person I considered family, and don't know why.
It all boiled over 2 months ago, we had a big argument, I confronted her about some absolutely horrible things I found out she had said about me behind my back, and she just continued to gaslight me or deflect until I showed them proof, and at that point they just rolled their eyes and ignored me.
That was Jan 30 and we haven't spoken since. Not unless you count a text they sent me, informing me that they spoke to our landlady and asked to terminate our lease and I had until April to find a new apartment / she was moving out.
I worked things out with the landlady, I'm able to remain for my original lease, it just sucks to suddenly have my rent doubled..
But these last two months have sucked. Therapy and Zoloft have kept me sane for the most part, but suddenly, my best friend and roommate who used to be meticulous about keeping it apartment cleaned, just stopped caring, out of spite I assume. Stopped taking the trash out, stopped cleaning the kitchen, leaving food bits on the sink, most days are wouldn't even clean up after the cats.. 3 litter boxes in the house and she maybe would scoop the one on her bedroom, but only once a day.
Once, I let the trash can build up, with her own garbage (I'd take very small bags out almost daily) just to see how long she would go.. 3 days. 3 full days of her throwing out half eaten sandwiches and bagels, letting it build, letting it smell awful, until she must have caved and decided to finally take the trash out (once in the last 3 months, wow). And even then, she never even bothered to take out the full litter bag, or the full bag in the bathroom, which was once again mostly full with her trash, like used pads.
Jump to last night. Once again I'm in my bedroom, trying to enjoy my evening, telling myself "this is it, the home stretch, she'll be out by March 31" when I get a text from the landlady.... She informed me my roommate had informed her that she's actually moving out by "tomorrow morning" and that, as we had discussed previously, she'd like to come inspect the apartment and just needed to know if I'd be home.
This was obviously news to me. I was a bit taken aback by this news. Surprised, a bit happy, and a bit sad. Surprised and happy to hear I get to start rearranging furniture and making this space my own a whole week earlier than expected, but sad because my roommate had no idea I'd be working today. Or that I made plans with family and friends. I was expecting to leave home by 8am today for work, and probably not be home until after midnight.. this means I would have left home with 3 cats, and come back to a mostly empty apartment and 1 very scared, very confused cat, who'd have been alone for several hours while I had no idea what was going on...
I dealt with my emotions about the situation, I wrote an email to my therapist while things were fresh in my mind and we'll be discussing it at our next session most likely.. but today's the day I've been looking forward to.
It's almost 7am now, she's already up and packing up some final items it seems, I'm about to shower and get ready to head out for work, a bit earlier than I need to (I never wanted to be here for her moving out..) and I've informed my family that, honestly, depending on where my emotions are later today, I might cancel on our plans to come home and comfort the cat I'm keeping.
Part of me still can't believe someone I considered a sister for almost 20 years would ever be THIS cold towards me.. but the other part of me is just happy this awful, painful, chapter in my life is coming to a close, and tomorrow will be the start of a new, more hopeful, chapter.
Not sure if this post, as is, belongs here, but I have plenty of anecdotes about her being a bad roommate I can share if it helps. I just needed a place to vent one more time before I head to work, so I can try my best to focus on the job rather than this whole mess.

1. Mid-February 2018, begin to experience severe head pain, gait impairment, speech impairment.
2. Fall 2018, enroll in Kaiser. See Kaiser PC who immediately wants to send me to Psychiatrist, does no examination.
3. Nov. 2018, obtain brain MRI.
4. Kaiser PC says brain MRI is "unusual," asks if I want to see a neurologist at Kaiser Memory Clinic (dementia).
5. I see first neurologist (not Memory Clinic). Neurologist does no examination, no neurological testing. Refers me to Kaiser Psychiatry. Says my problems are due to untreated anxiety and depression.
6. See second neurologist for second opinion. Second neurologist administers min-cognitive test, provides me with the answers, says "you don't have dementia." Does not do neurological exam. Refers me to psychiatrist. Does not wish to do further neurological testing as that would be "shooting in the dark."
7. Ask to see second neurologist again as condition worsens. Second neuro is now very concerned about the "course" quality of my voice and says "you may have IRREVERSIBLE DAMAGE." Twice. Refers me to speech therapist.
8. Speech therapist says I have Mild Cognitive Impairment.
9. 2019, see psychiatrist. Psychiatrist says MRI was abnormal, that my condition is most likely due to underlying physiological condition. Refers me for neurocognitive testing. I tell her I don't wish to have psychiatric medication. She says that's fine because we don't know what condition I have yet.
10. Psychologist who conducts neurocognitive testing says "neurology has signed off on you," says my neurocog testing is "invalid" because of my "anxiety" and refers me to same psychiatrist for medication. I decline to see psychiatrist. Psychologist diagnoses me with "Dependent Personality Disorder" because I brought a parent to our visit. I literally have trouble walking and speaking.
11. Psychologist calls me up and repeats reference to psychiatrist for medication. Again, I decline.
12. Psychologist contacts psychiatrist against my stated wishes. Psychiatrist's office calls so I can "make an appointment to get medication." I decline.
13. 2019, see fourth neurologist, who is Head of Neurology. Head says my MRI is "stone cold normal" (despite it showing cerebral atrophy and white matter disease, which concerned first PCP and psychiatrist). Says I have "conversion disorder" because I was not rehired for a one-semester teaching position in 2010. Says all my problems are due to psychological trauma. Refers me to a neuropsychiatrist.
14. I drop out of Kaiser care for two years due to frustration with system. Kaiser is all I can afford (through Covered California, the poor person's coverage) so it's not like I have a huge choice anyway.
15. 2022, at insistence of family go back to see a new Kaiser PCP. I insist that there will be no talk of psychology or psychiatry and that I wish to be evaluated for my physical problems alone. (If my dates are mixed up, apologies--cognition not what it used to be).
16. 2022 see fourth neurologist. Surly, seems angry with me for some reason. Takes my hands and literally puppeteers them while performing finger to nose test, so I am unable to do the test myself. Writes in notes "patient performed finger to nose successfully." Says my symptoms are "atypical" and that I "have no signs of a neurological disorder." Says my severe chronic head pain is "head discomfort." Says nothing about my gait other than it is "short-stepped."
17. Jan 2023 fourth neurologist agrees to do a PET scan, at my request. Does not inform me what the PET scan will check for. I assume, incorrectly, it will be for symptoms I actually have. Neurologist messages me that "PET scan will be normal." Also, "you do not have dementia." Also, "if PET scan shows dementia, I am referring you back to your PCP who will refer you to Memory Clinic Dr. Z."
18. PET scan performed. Results are abnormal, and radiologist recommends another PET scan do determine the presence of beta-amyloid plaque, a biomarker of Alzheimer's disease. It is at this point I discover PET scan was performed to distinguish Alzheimer's disease from Frontotemporal Degeneration. Two disease conditions neurologist has denied I have.
19. A week and a half later, neurologist messages me to say "your PET scan was normal" and reiterates that I have "no signs of a neurological condition."
20. I insist that the radiologist said PET scan was abnormal. Neurologist denies abnormality but consults with Dr. Z at Memory Care. (Remember him?)
21. I accidentally discover that Dr. Z has been convicted of "Gross Negligence" and nearly killed a patient under his care because he failed to send a patient to emergency surgery. I am concerned why he, of all people, has been consulted on my case.
22. Neurologist again denies abnormal, recommends psychiatry.
23. At my insistence neurologist again consults with "Gross Negligence" dude, who denies abnormality. I'm again recommended psychiatry.
24. At my insistence neurologist again consults with "Gross Negligence" dude, who denies abnormality. I'm again recommended a psychiatrist.
25. I ask neurologist point blank why he did not give me informed consent about PET scan, why he ordered it for a condition he never thought I had. Neurologist writes, "you asked for a PET scan, I gave you a PET scan."
26. I ask neurologist point blank a second time why they ordered PET scan for a condition they say I never had, neurologist repeats "you asked for a PET scan." I say that I did not ask for an ALZHEIMER'S PET scan as I do not have symptoms of Alzheimer's.
27. I ask my PCP whether I have symptoms of Alzheimer's. She does not respond.
28. I ask my PCP why PET scan was ordered even though neurologist found no symptoms of dementia or any other neurological disorder. Tell PCP neurologist has failed to answer same question two times now. PCP says contact neurologist.
29. I again contact neurologist, ask why given PET scan for a condition he doesn't think I have. Ask if I have signs or symptoms of dementia. Neurologist denies dementia and refers me to psychiatry. Again says "you asked for PET scan."
30. Again contact neurologist, say "I never asked for an Alzheimer's PET scan." Also "PET scan was abnormal. Please see radiologist's report."
31. File three grievances with Kaiser about fourth neurologist failing to provide me with informed consent over PET scan, failing to move on radiologist, hand puppeteering, etc. Also file grievance against the mysterious Dr. Z for failing to correctly identify abnormal PET scan results.
32. Kaiser Grievance Dept. offers me a "second opinion" neurologist, does not address any of my concerns about fourth neuro, refers me directly to Dr. Z for consultation on my PET scan results.
33. PCP recommends psychiatry.
34. Neurologist consults with Head of Neurology, Mr. "Stone Cold Normal." Head looks at radiologist's report, agrees with radiologist, ok's beta-amyloid PET scan.
35. As Kaiser Grievance has failed to give me any satisfaction for my complaints, escalate to Department of Managed Health Care.
36. DMHC immediately contacts me within the day I complained, due to severity and duration of my symptoms. Recommend filing a Grievance with Medical Board. Expedites my case.
37. I file a grievance with Medical Board.
38. Fourth neurologist orders beta-amyloid PET scan.
39. Fourth neurologist becomes "very upset" when they discover a grievance has been filed on my behalf (Medical Board does not disclose complainant's identity), messages me saying they do not wish to see me again. Refers me back to third neurologist, Mr. Stone Cold Normal.
40. Kaiser convenes a committee to review my requests made because of expedited case DMHC. Comes back and denies all my requests, including beta-amyloid PET scan, on the basis that "you do not have clinical signs of Alzheimer's based on your medical record."
41. I ask Head of Neurology point blank if Fourth Neurologist found signs or symptoms of Alzheimer's. HON says no. Also says beta-amyloid PET scan is proceeding ahead because of abnormal results of first PET scan (consistent with early stage Alzheimer's).
42. I file a grievance with Kaiser over the "very upset" message.
43. Head of Neurology away from office between March 15 and March 21.
44. Kaiser Grievance Operations replies to "very upset" grievance that "Team Lead" contacted them March 19 (a Sunday, when KGO office and Neurology Office were both closed). Says "Team Lead" stated they had contacted me. However, nobody from Neurology had contacted me during that period about fourth neurologist or anything else. Also, that "this" has been referred to Kaiser Legal."
45. HON returns to office March 21. I contact them and ask who Team Lead is, they respond it is they, HON. HON "doesn't know anything" about fourth neurologist/grievance/first PET scan as that was "two months ago." Perhaps HON does not know how to pick up a phone to contact their employee???
46. I contact Grievance Operations directly. They deny Team Lead is Head of Neurology. I say Team Lead self-identified as Head of Neurology. They continue to deny Team Lead is HON. I say nobody from Neurology Department had contacted me about fourth neuro/grievance/anything between March 16 (when grievance was filed) and March 19th (when "contact" made between "Team Lead" and Grievance. Grievance Op says "contact was made before" March 16.
47. Also Grievance Operations: states three times that "contact" was made in May 2023. Gets snippy when I point out that May has not occurred yet.
48. Five plus years later, my condition continues to deteriorate. I have trouble forming words. I have trouble walking. I am seeing a physical therapist because I can't walk in a straight line and my coordination is shot. I'm seeing an acupuncturist because my pain is off the charts. I'm seeing a speech therapist to try to relearn how to talk.

Its been 2 years since I began my Crazy Balance sets in this sub. I've come a long way since then and it reflects in my balance today. I hope you like what you see.
Welcome. Please give feedback to this post if something is wrong.
This time its a bit different than usual. Hope you like it!
​
Reserve Shooter

• (i) weapon will now belong to the "Gas Jockey's Gear" Set on Pyro
• (+) summarized switch speed buffs into a single +33% faster switch speed
• (+) airblast is now re-added to the Mini-Crit list
• (+) added accuracy bonus
• (-) increased clip size nerf from 33% to 50%

​
New:
3 clip size, 36 max secondary ammo, Base: 60, Crit: 180 (6 damage x 10 pellet)
(+) +25% more accurate
(+) +33% faster deploy and holstering speed
(+) deals Mini-Crit damage to airborne targets or while the wielder is airborne
(i) can only Mini-Crit during a 6 sec. duration after deployed
(-) -50% smaller clip size
​
Reason: A clean switch speed and some more accuracy will help this gun pop up more in Soldier's arsenal. I've also decided to take in the possibility of returning airblast as a Mini-Crit option.
​
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B.A.S.E. Jumper

• (i) reverted the air control nerf (back to 100%)
• (+) added redeploy mechanic
• (+) added fall damage immunity after using a charge

​
New:
2 clip size, ∞ max ammo
(i) allows the user to open a parachute while in the air, slowing their descent
(i) user can also release the current parachute and activate another one
(+) guaranteed fall damage immunity after using a charge
(-) activating another parachute while airborne consumes 1 parachute ammo
(i) after using up all parachutes, it has to recharge (about 10 sec. or with ammo pickups) to be used again
​
Reason: This item was hammered too hard. Now, it can redeploy the chute again, but it'll cost some recharge time
​
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Pain Train

• (+) added charge mechanic
• (+) now triggers briefcase alarm 2 sec. later
• (-) replaced bullet vulnerability with 15% damage vulnerability
• (-) added 25% less damage

​
New:
Base: 53, Crit: 158
(i) Alt-Fire: (respective of the individual class)
(i) press Reload to charge at 300% speed in a straight line for 1 sec. (can stack with other mobility items). During the charge, the next melee swing is a guaranteed 100% damage bonus (damage bonuses do not stack). Smashing into an enemy deals 50 damage
(i) recharges after 12 sec.
(+) user has a 2x capture rate on points & carts and triggers the briefcase alarm 2 sec. later when carrying it
(-) raises damage vulnerability by 15%
(-) -25% less damage
​
Reason: The Pain Train needed more. It was just specific with its use, but also really didn't lose anything for it. Now, feel the pain when a Soldier comes charging
​
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Half-Zatoichi

• (+) overheal fade reduced from 15 to 30 sec.

​
New:
Base: 70, Crit: 210
(i) Alt-Fire and Reload: (respective of the individual class)
(+) +50% longer melee range
(+) on kill: heals 50% of user's base health. Can overheal up to 150% of the user's health (max: 263 (D), 300 (S/DK), 330 (SBB))
(i) overheal fades after 30 sec.
(-) Honorbound: once drawn, this weapon will holster for -50 HP unless it kills
(-) -30% slower firing speed
(i) a single hit will kill an enemy wielding the same weapon
​
Reason: Just a small boost for better use on Soldier and Demoman
​
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Panic Attack

• (+) removed accuracy reduction on hit (due to Random Bullet Spread being no more)
• (i) listed accuracy downside

​
New:
6 clip size, 36 max secondary ammo, Base: 72, Crit: 216 (4.8 damage x 15 pellets)
(+) +50% more pellets per shot
(+) +50% faster deploy speed
(-) -20% less damage
(-) -50% less accurate
​
Reason: With Random Bullet Spread gone, the downside of widening your already bigger spread became unnecessary. But it was also needed to list the accuracy nerf that it had
​
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Sentry Gun

• (+) bullet ramp-up increased from 120% to 150%
• (+) Level 2&3 firing speed increased from 0.135 to 0.12 sec.
• (+) rocket firing cooldown reduced from 3.06 to 3 sec.
• (+) building cost reduced from 130 to 120
• (+) Level 1 ammo increased from 150 to 200
• (+) added 10% Minigun resistance for Level 1
• (-) Level 1 firing speed reduced from 0.225 to 0.24 sec.
• (-) bullet fall-off reduced from 52.5% to 50%
• (-) rocket salvo fall-off reduced from 52.5% to 50%
• (-) Level 3 health reduced from 216 to 210
• (-) construction/redeploy speed increased from 10.5/3.5 to 12/4 sec.
• (-) buildings are now affected by debuffs

​
New (only Level 3):
Bullets: 200 clip size, N/A max ammo, Base: 16 (8 rounds/sec.)
Rockets: 20 clip size, N/A max ammo, Base: 4 x 25
(i) Damage-type: Bullet
(i) costs 120 + 400 metal to build
(i) has 210 health
(i) raises revolver damage resistance by 25% when sapped
(i) has a 20% Minigun resistance
(i) destroyed buildings drop 50% of their original building cost as scrap metal which can also refill ammo and cloak (4 x 7.5% = 30% ammo/metal/cloak)
(i) constructs itself in 12 sec. without Wrench interference (4.5 sec. with Stock)
(i) redeploys in 4 sec. without Wrench interference (1.5 sec. with Stock)
(i) ramp-up (150%): 24 damage, fall-off (50%): 8 damage
(i) firing speed: 0.12 sec. (8 x 0.12 sec. = 0.96 sec.)
(i) Wrangler firing speed: 0.06 sec. (16 x 0.06 sec. = 0.96)
(i) DPS: 128 damage, Wrangler: 256 damage
(i) ramp-up (150%): 4 x 38 damage, fall-off (50%): 4 x 13 damage
(i) firing cool-down: 3 sec.
(i) Wrangler firing cool-down: 1.5 sec.
​
​
Reason: The Sentry Gun is the building you think of first when you look at Engineer. Its powerful, but it has some tweaking due. On the one hand improvements to later firing speeds, on the other slow-downs for building and early development
​
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Mini-Sentry

• (+) firing speed increased from 0.18 to 0.16 sec.
• (+) ammo increased from 150 to 200
• (-) construction/redeploy speed increased from 4.2/2.33 to 4.5/1.5 sec.
• (-) buildings are now affected by debuffs

​
New:
200 clip size, N/A max ammo, Base: 8 (6 rounds/sec.)
(i) Damage-type: Bullet
(i) costs 100 metal to build
(i) has 100 health
(i) raises revolver damage resistance by 25% when sapped
(i) constructs itself in 4.5 sec. without Wrench interference (1.6875 sec. with Stock)
(i) redeploys in 1.5 sec. without Wrench interference (0.5625 sec. with Stock)
(i) ramp-up (150%): 12 damage, fall-off (50%): 4 damage
(i) firing speed: 0.16 sec. (6 x 0.16 sec. = 0.96 sec.)
(i) Wrangler firing speed: 0.08 sec. (12 x 0.08 sec. = 0.96)
(i) DPS: 48 damage, Wrangler: 96 damage
​
Reason: The Mini-Sentry is now adjusted to the changes of its big brother, now with much faster firing than before, but a slower building time
​
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Dispenser

• (+) construction/redeploy speed reduced from 21/5.25 to 12/4 sec.
• (+) range increased from 64 to 75 HU
• (-) Level 3 health reduced from 216 to 210
• (-) buildings are now affected by debuffs

​
New (only Level 3):
(i) costs 100 + 400 metal to build
(i) has 210 health
(i) raises revolver damage resistance by 25% when sapped
(i) destroyed buildings drop 50% of their original building cost as scrap metal which can also refill ammo and cloak (5 x 5% = 25% ammo/metal/cloak)
(i) constructs itself in 12 sec. without Wrench interference (4.5 sec. with Stock)
(i) redeploys in 4 sec. without Wrench interference (1.5 sec. with Stock)
(i) effect radius: 130 HU
(i) can hold up to 400 metal max.
(i) health generation: 20/sec.
(i) ammo generation: 40%/sec.
(i) metal generation: 60/5 sec.
(i) cloak generation: 15%/sec.
​
​
Reason: The Dispenser just needs to build/deploy faster and it makes building so much faster
​
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Teleporter

• (+) construction/redeploy speed reduced from 21/5.25 to 12/4 sec.
• (+) Level 3 recharge time reduced from 3 to 2.5 sec.
• (+) building/upgrade cost reduced from 50/200 to 25/100
• (-) Level 3 health reduced from 216 to 210
• (-) buildings are now affected by debuffs

​
New (only Level 3):
(i) costs 25 + 200 metal to build
(i) has 210 health
(i) teleporters display their cooldown timer to your teammates
(i) raises revolver damage resistance by 25% when sapped
(i) destroyed buildings drop 50% of their original building cost as scrap metal which can also refill ammo and cloak (4 x 3.125% = 12.5% ammo/metal/cloak)
(i) constructs itself in 12 sec. without Wrench interference (4.5 sec. with Stock)
(i) redeploys in 4 sec. without Wrench interference (1.5 sec. with Stock)
(i) recharges time: 2.5 sec.
​
Reason: The Teleporters suffer the same speed problem as the Dispenser. This general build time will help it so much
​
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Thank you for all your work and feedback. I'm MasterBuilder248 and this was Crazy Balance. I hope you liked it and I'll see you later!

My gf and I have been together for almost 3 years now. I love her very much and I actually think she’s the love of my life. There’s only one thing that I absolutely can’t stand about her and it’s how awfully disgusting their house is. I live pretty far from her which is why whenever I visit I tend to sleepover for a week max especially during the lockdowns before. Whenever I visit I can’t help but cringe because of how dirty everything is. She lives with her mom and two younger brothers and they currently have 8 dogs.
Just to give you guys a visualization of how messy it is I’ll lay out in detail what you’ll see on a regular day once you go inside their house just so everyone knows I’m not exaggerating: as soon as you open the front door stench of dog shit and pee will hit you like a truck, their living room floor is filled with it and it sometimes extends to the dining and kitchen area. The sink in the kitchen will probably be stacked with unorganized dirty dishes which sometimes extends to the counter tops as well. The dining table and the kitchen island is filled with spilled watefood debris and leftover food. The refrigerator is unorganized and filled with leftover food that hasn’t been touched or reheated in days. Even the kitchen cabinets and the walls (which are white) are stained with grime/brownish stuff. Once you go upstairs to where the bedrooms are, the hallway is also filled with poop and pee and carcasses of whatever it is the dogs decided to rip up and play with (e.g. comforters, the loofah from their bathroom, cardboard boxes, plastic bottles etc.). The bathrooms (which have no locks and doorknobs) are filled with wet dog fur and random stuff that the dogs destroyed since they like hanging out there. The living room is basically inhabitable because of how there’s constantly poop everywhere and things are scattered everywhere. I also have a hard time eating at their dining room most of the time because of how I can see and smell all the dog shit and pee (I asked her once if they were used to it that it doesn’t bother them and she said yes) . They’d only clean it once a week or sometimes even longer than that so just imagine how much dog shit and pee accumulates. The dogs are also very filthy and are only given baths once or twice a month and I even saw one drink water directly from the toilet bowl. They also love playing around in the bathroom and get all wet and muddy. I used to consider myself a dog lover since growing up, my family and I loved adopting strays and take care of them (I currently have 2 dogs, both potty trained and regularly bathed) back at home who I love very much. But seeing how they let the dogs get so dirty and shit everywhere and anywhere, I can’t even bear to pet them or go near them. They used to only have 2 adult dogs: a husky which can only be bathed once a month apparently and a golden that stinks most of the time and is barely given a bath as well, but then the husky gave birth to 6 puppies which made everything worse of course. Even way before when they only had one dog, the house had rats because of how messy everything was. The only time I saw the house get really clean was when they re-hired a house helper that used to work for them in one of the houses they’ve lived in before. Now that that helper left, everything is back to shit again. Literrally. They originally planned on selling the puppies which is such a relief since there’d be less poop around but then they decided to keep 2 so now there’d still be 4 dogs that aren’t potty trained.
I would always try to help out by doing the dishes, cleaning after myself, giving the dogs a bath whenever they’d allow me to, cleaning her room (the only place in the house I could stand since the dogs don’t go in there when I visit so there’s no dog poop and pee), etc. I also used to sweep and mop the floor before they had so many dogs but I can’t now because I hate the smell of dog shit and pee (my gf also knows this). I don’t know what to feel anymore because even though I am very much turned off from how dirty everything is in their house, I feel bad because I know that most of the time my gf is the only person who cooks and clean in their house. Her two brothers are still young (16 and 13 y/o) and they can’t be relied on much when it comes to chores, her mom is a single mom working 2 or more jobs most of the time which is why she also can’t look after the house most of the time. In our house,we never had a house helper but we managed just fine which is why I was also shocked when I first saw how messy and filthy their house was.
The only reason why I am asking for advice here on reddit only now even though it’s already been 2 years of this is because before, I would only visit so I only had to bear with it for a week max and go back to my clean and comfortable home. However, something recently happened with my family and I (too long of a story to include here) which is why in the meantime I am living with my gf in her house just until I can work things out and find a place of my own. I feel like such an asshole to even complain about this and I would understand if people here call me one too since my gf and her family welcomed me in their home and I know how hard it must be for my gf since she’s currently stressed about college as well. Again, I still try to help out by doing the all dishes everyday, cleaning her bedroom, mopping and sweeping the floor when it isn’t covered by poop, etc. But I really can’t stand it anymore and even if I do find a place of my own already, I know I’d still be visiting her from time to time since it’s always been that way in our relationship (I visit her more than she visits me) so the problem would still be there. Please help me because I really don’t know what to do anymore.
TL;DR: I am now temporarily living with my gf of almost 3yrs. but I can’t stand how filthy their house is even when I try my best to help out and I don’t know what to do anymore.
Sidenote: this is my first time using/posting here on reddit so please forgive me for any mistakes I might’ve made. Thank you

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The following are the basic rules for the Maelstrom TTRPG. Any ideas or criticism is welcome. Player species, Items and NPCs coming soon[ish]
I'm currently studying for exams, so don't expect too much
Do need to say that there are some delays, because the guy that used to help me with game balancing, is not responding to my messeges, and its causing some buildup. I just make stuff that sounds cool, but i know nothing of game balance.
If anyone knows something about dnd builds/balancing, or anything close, id really apreachiate the help.

Character creation

All of your Ability scores start at 5, and you get to distribute 60 points between them. No Ability score can exceed 13.
Premade arrays:

• 13-12-10-10-8-7
• 10-10-10-10-10-10
• 12-12-12-8-8-8
• 13-13-13-7-7-7

You start with 25 Xp, which can be exchanged for Perks before you start.
You start with 50 Bucks, which can be exchanged for Items before you start.
You choose 1 Player species, which gives you bonuses, abilities and stats.

Leveling up

Experience points

Experience points, or Xp are used as a currency to gain Perks.
Perks give you new abilities and stat increases.
Xp can be gained in many ways.

• When you beat a creature in battle, you gain an amount of Xp, equal to their Threat level divided by yours, rounded down.
• You gain 1 Xp from 5 hours of research or training.

Your Level is the total amount of Xp you have gained.
For 5 Xp, you can increase one of your Ability scores by 1.
For 1 Xp, You can increase the Skill bonus of a Skill you already have by 1.
You can do this 10 times per Ability score and Skill.

Creature stats

Checks

Checks are the most common rolls, which can be asked for by the GM and your character's actions.
Checks are always a d20 roll.
Checks specify a Skill and an Ability, meaning you add the appropriate Skill bonus and Ability modifier. [Example: a Perception[Ins] check means you roll a d20, and then add your Perception bonus if you have perception as a Skill, and then add your Insight modifier]
Other rolls might also ask for Skill bonuses or Ability modifiers.
A Contest means two creatures both make Checks, the higher roll succeeding. The initiating creature is written down first, and the target is second. [Example: a Athletics[Str] x Acrobatics[Dex] contest means the initiating creature makes a Athletics[Str] check, and the target makes a Acrobatics[Dex] check]
When you make a contest against multiple creatures, you only need to roll once.
A Check threshold, or CT, is a number you need to roll above to succeed

Ability scores

The characteristics of creatures are measured by 6 Ability scores.
Charisma measures your force of personality.
Constitution measures how much physical trauma your body can withstand.
Dexterity measures your reflexes and motor control.
Insight measures your deductive reasoning and perceptiveness.
Knowledge measures the amount of information you can recall.
Strength Measure the brute force your body can produce.
You add your Ability modifier to Checks they apply to.
Your Ability modifier is the appropriate Ability score -10. This means the Ability score is the average roll.

Skills

You can gain new Skills and increase your Skill bonuses via Perks.
Each Skill has a Skill bonus.
You add your Skill bonus to Checks they apply to.

Threat level

A creature's Threat level is a measurement of how powerful it is, being increased by abilities, Items and Stats.

Hitpoints

Hitpoints are decreased by Damage taken.
You use Temporary hitpoints after you have no Hitpoints left, and disappear when you take a rest or fall unconscious.
When you have no Hitpoints or Temporary hitpoints left, you are Downed.
When restoring Hitpoints, you cannot go above your Hitpoint maximum, which is determined by your species.

Vigor

Your Vigor maximum is equal to your Constitution score, with a minimum of 10.
You get debuffs when your Vigor is too low.

• 9 Vigor left: -1 to all checks.
• 8 Vigor left: -2 to all Checks.
• 7 Vigor left: -3 to all Checks.
• 6 Vigor left: -4 to all Checks, and you only get 5 Action points per round.
• 5 Vigor left: -5 to all Checks, and you only get 4 Action points per round.
• 4 Vigor left: -6 to all Checks, and you only get 3 Action points per round.
• 3 Vigor left: -7 to all Checks, and you only get 2 Action points per round.
• 2 Vigor left: -8 to all Checks, and you only get 1 Action point per round.
• 1 Vigor left: you fall unconscious.
• 0 Vigor left: you are Downed.

Carrying maximum

Your Carrying max is 3 times your Strength score.
Your Carrying reserve is your Carrying max minus the total Weight of the Items on your person.
Your Dexterity score and your movement speeds cannot be higher than your Carry reserve. [this debuff does not apply to dexterity checks that only use your hands, instead of your entire body. Use common sense]

Resistances

When you have a Resistance to a damage type, that means all damage you take of that type is decreased by your Resistance [Example: If you have a Piercing resistance of 5, all piercing damage you take is reduced by 5]
Armor resistances are ignored by direct damage and Critical hits.

Combat

Start of combat

When combat starts, the creature that notices the fight first gets to make 1 Action, called the Surprise action.
Then, all creatures on the board make an Initiative[Ins] check, their turns going in order from highest rolled number to lowest.
When all creatures have had their Turn, you repeat the order from the top again.
Each cycle is called a Round.
A Round lasts 6 seconds.

Actions

An Action is any move you make during combat.
Using an Action takes a specified amount of Action points.
At the start of your Turn, your amount of Action points is reset to 6.
Reactions are Actions you can make outside of your own Turn. Most Reactions have stipulations for when you can use them.
When trying something unorthodox, it usually costs 2 or 3 Action points, up to the GM.

Grappling

When a creature Grapples another, both creatures add the other's weight to their Carry weight.
When one of the two tries to move, the other can make a Athletics[Str] v Athletics[Str] contest. If the initiator succeeds, the target does not move.
Both creatures always move together as a single unit.
The target of the Grapple can use 3 Action points to struggle, making a Flexibility[Dex] or Athletics[Str] v Athletics[Str] contest, ending the Grappled condition on a success.

Concentration

Some Action or Effects take Concentration.
You can only Concentrate on 1 thing at a time.
Your Concentration is broken when you take damage, fall prone, or fall unconscious.

Movement

For 2 Action points, you can use one of your Movement categories, moving an amount of meters up to the movement speed.

Crawling speed

Crawling represents a creature dragging themselves across the ground.
Some Difficult terrain prevents you from crawling across it entirely. [use common sense]

Running speed

Running represents a creature walking or running across a horizontal surface.

Hovering speed

Hovering represents a creature moving across a horizontal surface while floating roughly a meter above it.
Hovering allows you to ignore certain kinds of Rough terrain. [use common sense]

Climbing speed

Climbing represents a creature moving along a vertical surface by gripping the uneven surface.
Creatures can not Climb up smooth surfaces.

Swimming speed

Swimming represents a creature moving through a fluid, around the same density as themselves.
Swimming lets you move in 3 dimensions.
Creatures without a Swimming speed can swim 1 meter, using their Movement action and Main action.
when Swimming upstream, moving 1 meter takes 2 meters of your Swimming speed.

Burrowing speed

Burrowing represents a creature tunneling through loose sediment.
Burrowing lets you move in 3 dimensions.
Burrowing does not let you move through solid rock or metal.

Flying speed

Flying represents a creature’s controlled movement through the air.
Flying lets you move in 3 dimensions.

Gliding speed

Gliding represents a creature using a slowed descent to move through the air.
Gliding lets you move in 3 dimensions, like flying, but you cannot move upwards, and lower at least 1 meter downwards every turn.

Throwing and jumping

For 3 Action points, you can jump up to your Jumping distance.
Your jumping distance is your Strength modifier, minimum of 1, in meters.
For 2 Action points, you can throw an Item up to your Throwing distance.
Your Throwing distance is your Strength score in meters.

Falling & impact damage

When falling, you move down an amount of meters, equal to the local gravity score [usually 10] at the start of your turn.
When you hit the ground, you take [1 Hitdie + your Size category] impact damage for every 5 meters you fell.
When you expect the fall, or fall for more than 10 meters, you get to make an CT 15 Athletics[Dex] Check, halving the impact damage on a success.
When Forced movement pushes you into a structure, you take [1 Hitdie + your Size category] impact damage.

Senses

Your Senses are the ways you can accurately and precisely observe the world. Humans might have a sense of smell, but it's not good enough to be able to see attacks coming.
Options include:

• Vision
• Echolocation
• Heat vision
• Electroreception

If all of your Senses are deactivated, you gain Blinded status effect

Items

Actions

Dropping, grabbing and interacting with an Item takes 1 Action point.
For 2 Action points, you can throw an Item up to your Throwing distance.

Storage

Each item takes up an amount of Spaces.
Some Items have an amount of Storage, meaning they can contain that many spaces worth of Items.
Attire can be worn like clothing.

Wielding

You can wield a Weapon with a weight, equal to your Size category without problems.
Each weight above your Size category gives you a -2 penalty to all [Dex] based checks made with it. This penalty is decreased by 4 for every additional hand you hold it with.
If the weight of the weapon is 3 above your Size category, attacks with it cost 1 more Action point.
If the weight of the weapon is 3 below your weight, attacks with it cost 1 less Action point, 1 minimum.

Status effects

Grappled

When a creature Grapples another, both creatures add the other's weight to their Carry weight.
When one of the two tries to move, the other can make a Athletics[Str] v Athletics[Str] contest. If the initiator succeeds, the target does not move.
Both creatures always move together as a single unit.
The target of the Grapple can use 3 Action points to struggle, making a Flexibility[Dex] or Athletics[Str] v Athletics[Str] contest, ending the Grappled condition on a success.

Restrained

When Restrained, you can't make any action that require significant movement [use common sense]

Prone

When Prone, you cannot use its movement speeds, and you get a -5 to Evasion checks.
You can end the condition by spending 3 Action points on standing back up.
Creatures with a Crawling speed are immune to the Prone condition.

Bleeding

When Bleeding, you take 1 direct damage at the start of each turn, or 2d10 per minute.

Blinded

When Blinded, you automatically fail all Checks that require sight, and get a -5 to all Checks that rely on sight.

On fire

When On fire, you take 1d4 fire damage at the start of each turn, or 4d10 per minute.
The condition ends when the fire in extinguished [use common sense]

Frozen

When Frozen, you take 1d4 frost damage at the start of each turn, or 4d10 per minute.
The condition ends when you take fire damage, or are otherwise thawed [use common sense]

Survival

Short rests

A Short rest consists of at least 1 hour of light activity.
A Short rest restores 4 Vigor, and 1 Hp.

Long rest

A Long rest consists of at least 5 hours of sleep.
A long rest restores 6 Vigor, and 1 Hitdie of Hp.
After a Long rest, you can stay awake for twice the amount of time you slept. After that time, you lose 1 Vigor every 8 hours.

Needs

You lose 1 Vigor:

• every 24 hours without food
• every 6 hours without food or water
• every 5 rounds/half a minute without breathable gas

Work in progress

Size categories?
1 space, cat size, beaver size, wolf size, human size, gorilla/lion size, cow/elk size, polar beamoose size, hippo/rhino/gw shark size, elephant size, orca size, humpback, sperm whale, finback whale, blue whale, destroyer, cruisers, battleship, dreadnought,
2
3 2
3 2
1
2
human
16
+2 con
+1 dex
Will proficiency
5 meter running speed
5
d10
Adrenaline rush
2 languages, complex tool use, 2 hands
​
octopus
16
+5 to dex
-3 to str
Proficiency stealth
3 meter crawling speed
2 meter climbing speed
10 meter swim speed
2
d4
Water breathing
Active camouflage
+10 to stealth as a action
Ink cloud
1ns per day [until con 15]
1x1 meter area obscured
suckers
Soft bodied
2 language, complex tool use, 8 hands
​
Tenax
16
+2 str
-2 con
Will proficiency
5 meter running speed
6
d10
Armor resistances
2 piercing
2 slashing
Adrenaline rush
+1 unarmed strikes
2 languages, complex tool use, 2 hands

My foot pushed down harder on the accelerator as my stomach cramped up again in a painful spasm. I was speeding through a schoolzone, and as a sign popped up on the side of the road clearly stating '20' I snapped out of my desperate panic and reluctantly dropped from '40' down to '25'. Turning a corner I realized to my horror that it was three o'clock, and the street was mobbed with parents buzzing in and out of the building to collect their children.
I turned to look behind me and I nearly lost it, my asshole puckering as I sucked the poison back inside. I was completely boxed in. Another four cars had already trapped me inside. I smashed the horn, pleading with the traffic on either side to budge. They didn't.
After a gruelling seven and a half agonising minutes and a half hearted search for some sort of viable receptacle and something other than socks to wipe with, the blockage finally gave way. The cars slowly began to move forward. Eagerly creeping behind, I saw the problem. Somebody had broken down right there by the school gates, having finally been repaired and sent along. A wave of relief washed over me as I considered the short journey ahead. The Porsche dealership was a little over a mile away. A dealership which had a bathroom, one I'd used before. Afterall, that's where I'd bought my car. They knew me, and I knew I'd be able to breeze on in, no questions asked. A deep growling rumbled out over the radio and I put my foot down again as soon as I broke through onto the main road. Just a straight shot, and it would all be over.
Not a minute passed until I was once again utterly dismayed, near losing all hope; ready to just give up right there and then and ruin a perfectly decent pair of black suit pants and the interior of my beautiful brand new Porsche's two-colour interior, characterized by a perfectly coordinated interplay of colours, materials and individual finishes suited just for me. A red light shone in the distance, and in its wake sat a long line of idling cars. Lesser cars, all in my way. My gut quaked violently and sharp pains erupted all through my midsection, sweat pouring down my back and growing sticky in the afternoon heat. I peeled myself from the smooth-finish leather, craning my head out the open window just enough to get a good shout across and I screamed as loudly as the rapidly building pressure would allow, but once again my efforts were futile.
Another minute, now five since I first stared down the crimson cyclops - FIVE minutes at a red light - before at last I was granted passage as everyone finally moved along. Taking their sweet time, of course. I took the left, screeching into the Porsche customer parking lot. The engine stayed on and the keys stayed in, I didn't even close the door behind me. There was no time. The car was the least of my concerns at that point, there was only one thing on my mind.
Shoulder-barging through the glass doors, it's as if my vision became tunneled as I focused in on that bright shining door located at the far wall emblazoned with the sign identifying it as a toilet. And only a little bit past two rows of Porsche's that were only slightly better than mine, I was so close. An audible grunt escaped my pursed lips. As I rushed past the reception desk, something grabbed me. It was Gina. Fucking Gina.
"Mr Kleinfeld? Hi! Lovely to see you again! There aren't any problems with the car, are there?" She looked concerned on the surface but only about as far as it might affect her status as the dealership's top salesperson that month.
"What?!" I caught myself before I let slip just how much pain I was in, confused as to why I wasn't just making a break for it. "Oh? No it's… it's amazing. Fantastic, even. It's just… the thing is…"
Gina raised an eyebrow behind her thick hipster glasses. Functional, yet chic. Now appearing sincerely concerned.
"CAN I USE YOUR BATHROOM!?" The words piled out fast and hard in more of a shriek than a polite request. Gina took a small surprised step back before replying apologetically,
"I'm so sorry, but it'll be closed until at least Five. We've had a plumbing issue this morning a-"
My bodily functions erupted loudly against my will, interrupting the dealership's most enterprising saleswoman midsentence as a fetid smell akin to what I imagine a genocide reeks like filled the spacious area, floor to ceiling, within seconds. I stood there in shock, as did Gina. We maintained an uncomfortable mutual stare for a moment before my feet automatically began backing away; unconsciously desperate to escape the nightmare on my stunned behalf.
Others began to correlate the stench with my shuffling presence and two or three pointed in my direction, outing my soiled situation to their small groups of co-workers.
"Don't look at me!" I yelled as involuntarily as I'd emptied my bowels as I crossed the threshold back into the lot, my shrill echo booming as everyone who hadn't previously noticed my embarrassment did then at that exact moment. My mind was racing, while also simultaneously completely blank in an odd mix of trauma, shame, panic and despair. My reputation, tarnished in the blink of an eye like my work slacks.
I got to my still open and blinking Porsche, removed the bottom half of my attire and dumped it all right there beside me on the ground, socks included. They were someone else's problem now. With a quick wipe using the discarded clothing I hopped back inside and sped away from the scene, the smell haunting me the whole way like the memory of that day will haunt my every waking moment forever.
An hour's drive home later and I was sitting outside my house afraid to go inside. I didn't tell my wife what happened to me when she greeted me at the front door, balls out, instead storming upstairs to hide in the shower, opting for the inevitable rumor mill to do the job instead. We never spoke of it, ever. I never spoke about much of anything after that…

Introduction

Well hello there! (General Kenobi!). I'm Snoky also known as you'll find out when we get to know eachother
I’m a 25 year old English/Norwegian guy from the U of K! I currently work in the IT Sector within the Local Government and my god I forgot how hectic the public sector was after i left it roughly 4 years ago. I did indeed have quite a shock coming back 😅
​

Apperance

I'm on the bigger side but am looking to get that changed with some help due to i'm not very happy with the way thing's are currently. Minus that I'm 6'1/6'2, depends on which doctor you ask! I have short-ish hair dark blonde hair? I think? I'm not very good with colors so you'll have to tell me whenever we decide to exchange pictures.
Which i will be more than happy to exchange later on once we get to know eachother!
​

Main Intrests/Hobbies

My main interests are either playing games with some friends on the PC, studying for future certifications and mainly what I do after work just kicking back and watching whatever random things I can find on YouTube (I aren’t a big TV person). I used to watch a lot of anime but I tend to drop out of it for a year and then I get back in to it then I lose interest again heh, it’s just a thing that I’ve been doing for years on end.
I am somewhat in to movies but I haven’t really properly watched any within the last year or so but if I was to give a rough genre, I’d say dark-ish movies with a grabbing story i.e. DC films and a here and there Marvel film (IW ftw!) I much more prefer it when the bad guy gets the upper hand and basically wins as close to that of Thanos basically.
My main music choices? Everywhere and everything. If my ears like it, then chances are I’ll most likely like it. I’d write down all the artists I follow right now but trust me it’d take too long to go over so it’d probs better to just share my Spotify playlist lmao. But to give a quick sum up I’d say its more around mixed genre, alt-rock basically.
I do also write my own stuff as well, but again like anime I do it for like 6 months then stop, then start a year later so eh it’s a pretty hit and miss hobby for me 😅
​

Future Prospects?

As mentioned in my apperance section i'm in the process of trying to get fit with weight loss as I’m not very happy with how I am at the moment especially when it comes to health after a incident a few years ago but that’s neither here nor the future as I’m looking to change it with the help of the NHS and people around me. I'd be more than happy to join forces together with someone who's trying to do the same thing!
I currently own my own company which is currently under going some development but hasn't actually started as of yet (still looking in that area) but it will get there at somepoint!
Alongside my own company I’m also undergoing a project with a close friend of mine that we’re trying to pursue which is actually happening alongside the org itself so it's all looping togetherslowly but surely.
​

What am i looking for?

I'm looking for someone who's intrested in getting to know eachother, someone who's got my back and i've got theres, someone i can well essentially "grow" with and get to know, someone who's willing to put the effort in to get to know me and vice versa.I'd like said person to be able to hold a convoersation with me as i've been in too many instances where it's all been one sided convos with me basically putting in more effort than the other person but alas that's neither here nor there and hopfully I'll maybe find the person who would share that equal effort with me. And trust me I've been ghosted loads of times to the point it's like "bruh, just why?" but anyway!
I'm open to long distant's so long as there's a goal to meet eachother in the somewhat near future!
​

The End?

If you've made it this far after this somewhat long post then i must congradulate you!
I now have a small question for you to send me the answer too when you message me.
On what date and or month was a i born? I was born on the month of a certain red birthstone on a international memorial day
p.s, if you don't get it it doesn't matter it's worth a try regardless
Small partial note; If your going to time waste and just ghost me please don't bother messaging me as i'm only intrested in getting to know actual serious people...and please be able to hold a convosation with me and vice versa!

Introduction

Well hello there! (General Kenobi!). I'm Snoky also known as you'll find out when we get to know eachother
I’m a 25 year old English/Norwegian guy from the U of K! I currently work in the IT Sector within the Local Government and my god I forgot how hectic the public sector was after i left it roughly 4 years ago. I did indeed have quite a shock coming back 😅
​

Apperance

I'm on the bigger side but am looking to get that changed with some help due to i'm not very happy with the way thing's are currently. Minus that I'm 6'1/6'2, depends on which doctor you ask! I have short-ish hair dark blonde hair? I think? I'm not very good with colors so you'll have to tell me whenever we decide to exchange pictures.
Which i will be more than happy to exchange later on once we get to know eachother!
​

Main Intrests/Hobbies

My main interests are either playing games with some friends on the PC, studying for future certifications and mainly what I do after work just kicking back and watching whatever random things I can find on YouTube (I aren’t a big TV person). I used to watch a lot of anime but I tend to drop out of it for a year and then I get back in to it then I lose interest again heh, it’s just a thing that I’ve been doing for years on end.
I am somewhat in to movies but I haven’t really properly watched any within the last year or so but if I was to give a rough genre, I’d say dark-ish movies with a grabbing story i.e. DC films and a here and there Marvel film (IW ftw!) I much more prefer it when the bad guy gets the upper hand and basically wins as close to that of Thanos basically.
My main music choices? Everywhere and everything. If my ears like it, then chances are I’ll most likely like it. I’d write down all the artists I follow right now but trust me it’d take too long to go over so it’d probs better to just share my Spotify playlist lmao. But to give a quick sum up I’d say its more around mixed genre, alt-rock basically.
I do also write my own stuff as well, but again like anime I do it for like 6 months then stop, then start a year later so eh it’s a pretty hit and miss hobby for me 😅
​

Future Prospects?

As mentioned in my apperance section i'm in the process of trying to get fit with weight loss as I’m not very happy with how I am at the moment especially when it comes to health after a incident a few years ago but that’s neither here nor the future as I’m looking to change it with the help of the NHS and people around me. I'd be more than happy to join forces together with someone who's trying to do the same thing!
I currently own my own company which is currently under going some development but hasn't actually started as of yet (still looking in that area) but it will get there at somepoint!
Alongside my own company I’m also undergoing a project with a close friend of mine that we’re trying to pursue which is actually happening alongside the org itself so it's all looping togetherslowly but surely.
​

What am i looking for?

I'm looking for someone who's intrested in getting to know eachother, someone who's got my back and i've got theres, someone i can well essentially "grow" with and get to know, someone who's willing to put the effort in to get to know me and vice versa.I'd like said person to be able to hold a convoersation with me as i've been in too many instances where it's all been one sided convos with me basically putting in more effort than the other person but alas that's neither here nor there and hopfully I'll maybe find the person who would share that equal effort with me. And trust me I've been ghosted loads of times to the point it's like "bruh, just why?" but anyway!
I'm open to long distant's so long as there's a goal to meet eachother in the somewhat near future!
​

The End?

If you've made it this far after this somewhat long post then i must congradulate you!
I now have a small question for you to send me the answer too when you message me.
On what date and or month was a i born? I was born on the month of a certain red birthstone on a international memorial day
p.s, if you don't get it it doesn't matter it's worth a try regardless
Small partial note; If your going to time waste and just ghost me please don't bother messaging me as i'm only intrested in getting to know actual serious people...and please be able to hold a convosation with me and vice versa!

Long story short, I was diagnosed with depression back in 2021 after a rough year and 2 failed suicide attempts December 2021. Physically and mentally I made a full recovery by May 2022, my ex of 7 years cheated on me in June and I surprisingly dealt with it really well. I’d been off work March-September due to factors outside my control which was stressful but again, I dealt with it well. I returned to work and on one of my first days back the most beautiful woman I had ever seen walked into the office. I’m a confident bloke but I was nervous AF! I spoke to her for a bit and thought there would be no way she would like me, fast forward a few hours later and she’d requested to follow me on instagram and we got chatting. We met shortly after for a date and it was like we’d know each other years, best date ever. From this point we both took it slow and just let things happen naturally. The connection we had was unlike any other and for both of us to feel the same was just unreal. I asked her to be my girlfriend in October and she was genuinely excited about it, this made me realise I’d found someone special. Shortly after this I had a serious family emergency and that was ongoing till January, she was my rock, my guardian angel throughout this whole ordeal. I’m 29 and I’ve cared for people a lot in relationships but never been in love despite them all being long term. I thought I was incapable but this woman changed that and she’s the first I’ve ever loved, and hopefully the last. On 02/01/23 the family emergency situation came to a close with expected but still devastated news. From this day on my mental health started to deteriorate but predictably, nothing too rapid. 05/01/23 I went over to my Nan’s house late at night after work to drop a birthday card off for her birthday the following day. I walked in to find her dead on the kitchen floor, this was the day I deteriorated rapidly. I needed my girlfriend desperately for support but I was just far too much to deal with. I wasn’t just depressed, this time it was different. I was awake 4-8 days regularly and would only sleep when I’d black out. I was exhausted but completely and utterly hyper fixated on anything that came into my head. Because it was my girlfriend who had become distant I stupidly bombarded her with messages begging for help and reminding her how much I love her. She wasn’t leaving me she just needed space and I could cope on my own. 20/02/23 2 men tried to steal my car and I managed to keep the car and defend myself but suffered some bad injuries in the process. I was hit 11 times with a knuckle duster and 40+ times by the other bloke with just his fists. I was left with 4 skull fractures, fractured orbital bone, broken nose and broke jaw. I’m an ex professional Muay Thai fighter so I’m used to a certain level of pain and discomfort but this was different, although I now have slurred speech, blind in my right eye and have lost substantial weight this hurt me mentally. I started to have panic attacks and I was going through episodes of what can only be described as mania and borderline psychosis. Again I continued begging my girlfriend for help and pushed her even further away, shortly after this she ended things. She made the right decision because I was horrendous and I was dragging her down. This present day I’m on the mend now and I barely remember any of it, the days all merged as one. It feels like someone else has been living/wrecking my life and last week I woke up and have been given it back. I’m now trying to fix all the damage I’ve caused, I’ve lost most of my friends, family and the love of my life. I’ll never give up on her but for now I can only love her from a distance. I hope one day soon she forgives me and wants to speak again but I also need to get some advice if anyone has experienced this before. I’ve spoke to numerous Dr’s in and outside the hospital but have just been dismissed as I struggle explaining it and play it down. Thanks in advance and apologies for the long read

My foot pushed down harder on the accelerator as my stomach cramped up again in a painful spasm. I was speeding through a schoolzone, and as a sign popped up on the side of the road clearly stating '20' I snapped out of my desperate panic and reluctantly dropped from '40' down to '25'. Turning a corner I realized to my horror that it was three o'clock, and the street was mobbed with parents buzzing in and out of the building to collect their children.
I turned to look behind me and I nearly lost it, my asshole puckering as I sucked the poison back inside. I was completely boxed in. Another four cars had already trapped me inside. I smashed the horn, pleading with the traffic on either side to budge. They didn't.
After a gruelling seven and a half agonising minutes and a half hearted search for some sort of viable receptacle and something other than socks to wipe with, the blockage finally gave way. The cars slowly began to move forward. Eagerly creeping behind, I saw the problem. Somebody had broken down right there by the school gates, having finally been repaired and sent along. A wave of relief washed over me as I considered the short journey ahead. The Porsche dealership was a little over a mile away. A dealership which had a bathroom, one I'd used before. Afterall, that's where I'd bought my car. They knew me, and I knew I'd be able to breeze on in, no questions asked. A deep growling rumbled out over the radio and I put my foot down again as soon as I broke through onto the main road. Just a straight shot, and it would all be over.
Not a minute passed until I was once again utterly dismayed, near losing all hope; ready to just give up right there and then and ruin a perfectly decent pair of black suit pants and the interior of my beautiful brand new Porsche's two-colour interior, characterized by a perfectly coordinated interplay of colours, materials and individual finishes suited just for me. A red light shone in the distance, and in its wake sat a long line of idling cars. Lesser cars, all in my way. My gut quaked violently and sharp pains erupted all through my midsection, sweat pouring down my back and growing sticky in the afternoon heat. I peeled myself from the smooth-finish leather, craning my head out the open window just enough to get a good shout across and I screamed as loudly as the rapidly building pressure would allow, but once again my efforts were futile.
Another minute, now five since I first stared down the crimson cyclops - FIVE minutes at a red light - before at last I was granted passage as everyone finally moved along. Taking their sweet time, of course. I took the left, screeching into the Porsche customer parking lot. The engine stayed on and the keys stayed in, I didn't even close the door behind me. There was no time. The car was the least of my concerns at that point, there was only one thing on my mind.
Shoulder-barging through the glass doors, it's as if my vision became tunneled as I focused in on that bright shining door located at the far wall emblazoned with the sign identifying it as a toilet. And only a little bit past two rows of Porsche's that were only slightly better than mine, I was so close. An audible grunt escaped my pursed lips. As I rushed past the reception desk, something grabbed me. It was Gina. Fucking Gina.
"Mr Kleinfeld? Hi! Lovely to see you again! There aren't any problems with the car, are there?" She looked concerned on the surface but only about as far as it might affect her status as the dealership's top salesperson that month.
"What?!" I caught myself before I let slip just how much pain I was in, confused as to why I wasn't just making a break for it. "Oh? No it's… it's amazing. Fantastic, even. It's just… the thing is…"
Gina raised an eyebrow behind her thick hipster glasses. Functional, yet chic. Now appearing sincerely concerned.
"CAN I USE YOUR BATHROOM!?" The words piled out fast and hard in more of a shriek than a polite request. Gina took a small surprised step back before replying apologetically,
"I'm so sorry, but it'll be closed until at least Five. We've had a plumbing issue this morning a-"
My bodily functions erupted loudly against my will, interrupting the dealership's most enterprising saleswoman midsentence as a fetid smell akin to what I imagine a genocide reeks like filled the spacious area, floor to ceiling, within seconds. I stood there in shock, as did Gina. We maintained an uncomfortable mutual stare for a moment before my feet automatically began backing away; unconsciously desperate to escape the nightmare on my stunned behalf.
Others began to correlate the stench with my shuffling presence and two or three pointed in my direction, outing my soiled situation to their small groups of co-workers.
"Don't look at me!" I yelled as involuntarily as I'd emptied my bowels as I crossed the threshold back into the lot, my shrill echo booming as everyone who hadn't previously noticed my embarrassment did then at that exact moment. My mind was racing, while also simultaneously completely blank in an odd mix of trauma, shame, panic and despair. My reputation, tarnished in the blink of an eye like my work slacks.
I got to my still open and blinking Porsche, removed the bottom half of my attire and dumped it all right there beside me on the ground, socks included. They were someone else's problem now. With a quick wipe using the discarded clothing I hopped back inside and sped away from the scene, the smell haunting me the whole way like the memory of that day will haunt my every waking moment forever.
An hour's drive home later and I was sitting outside my house afraid to go inside. I didn't tell my wife what happened to me when she greeted me at the front door, balls out, instead storming upstairs to hide in the shower, opting for the inevitable rumor mill to do the job instead. We never spoke of it, ever. I never spoke about much of anything after that…

Hi everyone,
I'm a 20-year-old trans girl living in Australia. Over the past few months I've made leaps and bounds in coming to terms with being trans, and engaging with queer clubs at uni, making new supportive friends, etc. I feel really ready to transition and I really want to start experimenting with what I wear, makeup, etc. (First at home, then with supportive friends / in queer spaces). In fact I'm gonna be starting HRT within a few weeks!!!
The issue is, I still live at home with my parents, brother, and sister because I'm studying uni full time. Now I'm only out to my mum so far, and she's supportive of it. My dad doesn't know the first thing about trans people, but he's highly unlikely to be actually transphobic, probably just really confused and uninformed. The same goes for my sister - she'll probably be fine with it. My brother is kinda homophobic but my parents will make sure he doesn't actually say anything.
My dysphoria is so bad now that transitioning ASAP isn't a choice, but the idea of transitioning while living at home fills me with dread. That feels really stupid, because there are people out there with legitimately and violently transphobic households who have situations a million times worse than me - my situation is really pretty good.
There are a few reasons I find the idea of living at home while transitioning so hard. Firstly, like I said earlier I really want to start experimenting with my gender. I'm not comfortable or ready to present female in public (or really, in front of anyone else) yet but if I lived out of home I'd be putting on makeup, painting nails, wearing female clothes every night once I got home from uni. At home, I can't do that because I'm not out to my dad, brother, or sister - and even if I was out to them, I get a huge amount of anxiety from being perceived. Because I obviously wouldn't actually pass I'd be terrified of the way they perceive me. Obviously that's all in my head but it feels very very very real. It's something I'll need to work through, but working through it feels impossible while I'm in the midst of it. What I really need is my own space where I won't be perceived, where I can just exist, and right now I don't have that (my room is small and anyone could walk in whenever, and even if I had a lock I'd need to leave to go to the bathroom or use the kitchen or whatever).
The other thing is, transitioning is always hard on the family, and I totally understand that, but witnessing that firsthand with no "escape" from it per se is something I'm not sure I'll be able to handle properly amongst all the other stress of transitioning. The only spaces I'm ever in are uni (which is queer accepting but I'm not remotely ready to present female at uni), tutoring (which I'm going to have to boymode in all year to keep my clients), and occasionally at a friend's house or queer bar which is a "safe space" - but in all of those spaces I'm being perceived, I don't have a space to be alone.
I just get really anxious about being perceived and I'm also somewhat autistic and really really need alone time - which I basically never get. I get alone time in the sense that I'm in my room a lot but I never can feel alone at a psychological level because I know I'll always run into family members going to the kitchen or bathroom or whenever. I just feel so bad about this because I love my family, I have nothing against any of them and none of them would probably even say or think anything bad or hateful about me but I'm just so fucked up in the head and anxious and I just desperately want to be alone most of the time because what I need is room to experiment and work out what I want to do with myself.
Finally, I also some have past trauma with my brother having really severe anger issues when he was younger, and even though it's all past and I've forgiven everyone I can still feel the traces of it when I live at home, back when it was a thing I never felt safe outside of my room and the ghost of that feeling is still there a lot of the time, even though it's all in the past and I don't hold it against anyone. But it really doesn't mix well with all the trans stuff now and I just really need a space where I do feel 100% safe and comfortable and alone, because as much as I hate it and feel bad about it I really do struggle to feel comfortable or let my guard down when I'm at home around family (or really, anywhere, cause it's not like being out in public is any better, although it is different)
So I've been considering moving out, but I don't even know how I could do that, because tutoring is too unstable of a job and I'm doing uni. Even if I dropped to part-time uni, where would I work? I'd either have to boymode somewhere, and I don't know how well that would work because I honestly think I might pass pretty well after I'm on HRT for a bit and had laser. But either way, I don't have my degree, and I'm not really sure where I'd work to make enough money to rent a place of my own especially with skyrocketing rent prices where I live. I could live with flatmates but then that brings back the whole issue of being perceived - it's just so god damn difficult that my weird autistic messed up mind can't handle the idea of presenting female in front of other people before I get used to it by myself.
This is all such a first world problem, people have it so much worse than me, but I just don't know what to do. At a subconscious, but very real, psychological level, I just can't relax or feel safe when I'm at home. I've lived out of home before but that was before I felt ready to experiment. Now that I am ready to and really want/need to try out presenting female (even if just to alleviate my dysphoria after being at uni all day) I can't do it, even though my family would probably be fine and even supportive, I just can't move past traces of past trauma and all the distance I've put up psychologically from having to present male for so long, and I just don't want to be exposed 24/7 to their process of accepting me and coming to terms with me being trans (even though I 100% respect that because I had to go through that exact same process).
So yeah I don't fucking know what to do and it's really getting me down because I am starting HRT soon, but until I can bring myself to come out to my brother and sister I can't even present female at home, and I'm sure not going to be ready to present female anywhere else until I do at home. I've thought about asking some of my queer friends if I can try stuff on at their places and I'm sure they'd be more than fine with that but I'm really just not ready to be presenting female in front of anyone else before I can try it myself. Ugh.
This post ended up way longer than I expected so I doubt anyone will read it but if anyone does, is there any advice you think might help? I have no close trans friends irl who I can talk about this stuff with so I kinda just don't know what to do in general

A fun fact for those of you who have wondered why you get discrepancies when measuring output with the 5oz Medela bottles - I cracked out a scale yesterday and found out that when measuring 1 oz in these bottles there’s a 25% margin of error! At 2 oz it dropped to 11% and by the full 5 oz the hash mark was accurate, but if you thought you were crazy, well, you aren’t. You have to pour what looks like 1.25 oz to actually get a single ounce by itself.
(Disclaimer: I did not test the version with the printed measurements on the side, as I only use the ones with the tactile, stamped ridges)