I just started my new job as a professor at a local university and it’s really starting to wear on me. I have always had a passion for indoctrination teaching, and I couldn’t resist when I saw the opportunity to teach their new course entitled “Introduction to Misinformation and Public Health”, which is my wheelhouse. And it’s all virtual so I can get paid to watch CNN in my living room while I run through my lesson.
But I can’t seem to reach these kids. They won’t wear their masks properly, they call me names, and I just found out one of them is banging my wife. I wouldn’t mind so much if they waited until after class, but that’s the least of my problems.
Yesterday, as I was explaining the difference between facts and Facts™, one student asked if I could take off my mask because apparently she needs to blame her inability to understand plain english on someone other than herself.
“Brittney, you wanna know how I know that you’re not paying attention? Anyone who paid attention during yesterday’s lecture about exposed face holes would not ask a question like that. And if I have to ask you to put your nose away one more time you’re staying after class”.
“Mr. Saucemafia, we actually can’t understand a word you’re saying.” Rodney said, clearly putting on the white knight routine so Brittany will join him after class for virtual coitus. I was getting aggravated now. Not only at the fact that they are going to be woefully underprepared for our exam on Monday, but now they’re talking to me like I’m some sort of idiot.
“RODNEY, PLEASE HOLD UP YOUR FAUCI FIGURINE IF YOU WISH TO SPEAK. IT’S IN BOLD ON THE SYLLABUS FOR A REASON.” I shouted. “CAN YOU ALL HEAR ME? I WOULD LIKE TO DISCUSS ELON MUSK NOW”.
Brayden, my masked baby son who was sleeping in the next room, began to cry because of my yelling. I knew I had to cut the lesson short.
“I HAVE TO GO PLAY MASKED PEEK-A-BOO WITH MY BABY SON NOW. PLEASE GET YOUR COMPUTER’S LOOKED AT OVER THE WEEKEND OR DO WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO DO IN ORDER TO HEAR ME PROPERLY. THIS IS COLLEGE, SO SHAPE UP. PLEASE WRITE 10,000 WORDS ON WHAT YOUR VACCINE CARD MEANS TO YOU AND HAVE IT SUBMITTED IT BY MONDAY MORNING. HAVE A COVID-FREE WEEKEND EVERYONE.”
I really don’t know what to do. I need to hold on to this teaching gig so I can buy a new HEPA filter because my wife’s boyfriend broke my other one when I forgot to cut the crust off his sandwich. How do I reach these keeeeds?

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Entry 8

From the moment I entered the custody of the Sentinel Suns, my life transformed into a living hell. Each morning, the reverberating clank of chains echoed through the corridors as a procession of fifty individuals, including myself and my cellmate, shuffled forward. For the first time in my life, I feel small, I am dwarfed by the hulking physiques of the others in my procession. It is a striking realization, further emphasized by a fellow prisoner who, despite being over a whole foot shorter than me, is ripped as all hell, with biceps almost thicker than my legs combined!
The chow hall beckons, a temporary sanctuary from the brutality that defines our existence. We shuffle forward, drawn by the scent of a meager yet substantial meal, its flavor subdued but enough to quell the gnawing hunger within. The portions we receive are meticulously measured, a calculated reminder of our individual worth in this dehumanizing realm. As we hastily consume our rations, a palpable tension fills the room, for time is a luxury we cannot afford. Taking too long to eat invites violence, as our time to eat is limited, and wasting food or defying orders leads you to be beaten unconscious by the guards and become a fixture hanging from the battlements. So, I take this fleeting interlude to gather my thoughts and muster resolve for the harrowing yet to come.
Breaking the uneasy peace, a guard emits a clarion call of a whistle that cuts through the air and jolts us into attention, our bodies stiffening as if in sync. With measured steps, we march out of the door, leaving behind the confines of the inner keep. As the outside air brushes against our faces, our senses are immediately assaulted by an unholy stench that permeates the surroundings. The source of this vile odor awaits us—a monstrous cart, resembling the size of a colossal train wagon on wheels. A dozen of these abominations accompany us, as we rhythmically march on, urged onward by the anguished cries of the rulebreakers, their bodies hanging from the battlements and flogged in a haunting rhythm to keep our pace, I cast my gaze down and seek to shield myself from the sun as much as possible as we embark on our arduous journey, pushing the wagon steadfastly eastward, fanning out until the other vanish from view.
Tentatively, we make our way through the desolated industrial hub, a landscape of ruins and despair. Amidst the wreckage, chimneys stood as stoic sentinels, spewing smoke that briefly dances with a myriad of vivid hues above, an eerie spectacle against the desolate backdrop. Within certain structures, a hive of activity unfolds, causing the very ground to quiver beneath our weary feet. As we converge at designated collection points, we encounter a somber assembly of chained and exhausted souls, their toil centered around the arduous tasks of shattering rocks and bearing heavy loads. Envy gnaws at my insides every time I see them, for though their labor is far from easy, it lacks the soul-crushing horror that stains my own. We, a disparate group assigned the grisly duty of scavenging, a macabre amalgamation of garbage collectors and corpse retrievers, pauses intermittently to load our carts with the repulsive remnants of life and the accumulated refuse that marked these sorrowful junctions.
Beneath the unforgiving sun, we toil with a mixture of revulsion and numbness. At every of these collection points, we stop the wagon, attach a ramp that hangs to the side of the vehicle and form a line, passing buckets of limbs, waste, and whole corpses to each other until finally, the one at the end would throw it in the cart. Even after a week I can’t help but shiver every time my hands come into contact with cold, clammy skin. The texture of rotting flesh clings to my fingers, an indescribable sensation that makes bile rise in my throat just thinking about it.
Each body loaded onto the wagon leads to a louder chorus of anguished moans and pained groans to get that thing moving again. The weight of death settles upon me like a leaden shroud, both physically and emotionally, as we strain against the sheer physicality of lifting these lifeless figures. By the time the sun reaches its zenith, my muscles cry out in protest, yet I persist, driven by a grim determination to accomplish this gruesome duty or suffer the consequences. Rivulets of sweat cascade down my forehead, a desperate response to quell the scorching onslaught of light that saps my vitality, only to mingle with the layers of grime and filth that clings to my exhausted frame.
The relentless march continues as we push forward, our bodies are strained and weary, dragging the laden cart back to the dire fortress that every day seems closer to its original grim design. We are joined by other wagon crews, forming a parade of the damned, our carrion load in tow.
Amidst the chilling cries that reverberate through the air, we are herded toward one of the looming interior warehouses. Its door yawns open, resembling a merciless guillotine awaiting our arrival. With aching muscles, we attach the cart to the towering lifting mechanism, its massive wheel lever demanding our strained efforts. The sound of our labored panting is swallowed by the clanging symphony of metal emanating from the cart, accompanied by the sickening sloshes that erupt as the putrid contents spill forth. Once the mechanism is securely locked, we venture inside, our hearts heavy with the impending task. With grim determination, we scrape the remaining refuse into the cell and run back out before the gate descends with a resounding thud. A middle gate swiftly rises and falls back into place, sealing off the wretched scene.
Duty pulls us towards the next stage of this unyielding mistreatment. The rear gate yawns open, beckoning us towards the repulsive chore of cleansing the manure-infested cell. With every ounce of strength, we have the foul mixture into the hexagonal pools, and stagnant lagoons nestled amidst the desolate warehouses. The mere sight evokes a visceral recoil, a loathsome amalgamation of waste and debasement. The scorching heat weighs upon us, intensifying the noxious miasma that pervades the air. It doesn't take long for retching to resonate, mingling with the futile attempts to flee, only to be met with a forceful encounter with the grimy floor.
Once the grueling task of cleaning is complete, we are commanded to strip off our clothes and press ourselves against the cold, unforgiving outer wall, joining the other groups. Then comes the onslaught—the scalding torrent of teal liquid used to cleanse us. Initially, the dead bodies were the pinnacle of horror for me, but now I realize that this daily ritual is the true torment. The moment the shower hits me, I gasp for air, collapsing onto the floor, my throat burning under the assault of the overpowering minty scent. It takes the collective strength of my fellow prisoners to lift me back to my feet. One by one we shuffle towards our shepherds, as one waves his hands magically drying us while the other hands us fresh attire before hurriedly ushering us back to the chow hall. Dinner feels like a brief respite compared to breakfast, but eventually, the blaring whistles pierce the air, signaling our return to the confines of our cells. The question lingers in my mind—how much longer can I endure this?

This morning I had a guy show up claiming to be an Xfinity tech on a work order call. He stated that the system had detected an issue with the wire going into my modem and automatically created a work order for him to stop by.
I refused, of course, as I had not reported any issues with my service and was immediately suspicious of the situation; I live in a brand-new apartment with brand-new wires and a solid modem I've owned for a few years.
I have not received any messages via text or email stating that there was any issue that needs to be addressed and that they would be sending anyone.
Was this guy up to no good? Or does Xfinity really send techs to people's homes without warning?

I made it my goal to push through the morning shift even though I felt absolutely terrible. I actually stayed 2 hours later than I normally would. I’m scheduled to work tonight but I really don’t think I have it in me. I’ve explained my mental health problems with my boss and he was understanding. I’m a bit shy to call out and say that’s the reason why

Watched P for most of the day, I didn't edge though. Should I just pop one off and call it a night and reset in the morning?

I'm jumping off of an idea in Kith and Kin for a Lunar Freehold:
So, Kith and Kin introduces the concept of Changelings... IN SPACE! and even gives an extremely brief write up about a Freehold on the Moon. Unfortunately what is given is not actually all that detailed and I don't particularly like it that much (sorry to whoever wrote it, you did a great job sparking my imagination though). I really want to expand upon that, possibly for Storyteller's Vault. So I'm creating a new setting. I call it Selene.
Selene is extremely different from the Changeling we're familiar with, and comes straight to you out of a Frank Franzetta painting of a Princess of Mars cover. This is a place where you might do battle with Mi-Go or shapeshifting spirits. It's a setting where the second star to the right and straight on til morning will lead to a world of adventure.
It departs heavily from the Lunar Freehold given in the book. First, the Court System is completely different. There are five courts, each dedicated to one of the Celestial Maidens that the earliest freehold bargained with. Second, there are humans on the moon. These two facts are related. The foundational myth of Selene, though the actual details are lost to the generations, is that the earliest Changelings on the moon for hundreds of years were simply Free Companies. Stories abound going back thousands of years of people living on the moon, and these Changelings might have inspired those stories, or the Gentry that created them might have been inspired by them. Either way, they came out in a lifeless world but somehow managed to stay. Meanwhile, the other major group were the people of Habitat 3D3N. They were not taken by the Gentry, but their ancestors were taken by Angels. Those ancestors lived on the far side of the moon in paradise, but that time was long since passed as the Infrastructure that kept Habitat 3D3N running was failing.
This is when the Five Maidens came to the Free Companies of the Moon, which conveniently numbered Five. They were Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn (sometimes known as the Crone). Each offered the Free Companies power and protection—the Moon is a Harsh Mistress after all—if they chose to aid the people flee Eden (and worshiped the Maidens). And so the Free Companies earned their Bargains. The Court of Journeys lead the way, seeking out the best paths. The Court of Serenity tended to the Integrity of the refugees and fed them as they traveled. The Court of Battles protected them from the myriad threats found crossing Oceanus Procellarum. The Court of Secrets hid them away from the most dangerous things. And the Court of Endings watched over it all and guided the change. Bargains in hand, the arduous trek through complete, the Freehold of Selene was well and truly established.
​
That was maybe a hundred years ago. Since then, the people of Selene have built a city on the Moon. Though I'm leaving the specifics up to anyone who uses the setting (I think somewhere in Oceanus Procellarum or Mare Tranquillitatis is thematically appropriate). Selene holds many secrets, as the Jovians will tell you. Civilizations the God Machine abandoned that were forced to fend for themselves and fell centuries ago. Fallen Lychgates, crafted by the Huntsmen before the Gentry came to Arcadia. And of course simply swashbuckling space faring adventure as you fight off the migou.
Mercury — Journeys
Mercurian; Explorers, Wanderers
The Court of Mercury are explorers. They may have their homes, but they also want to venture among the stars. Many of them didn’t originate on Selene, they came to her from Earth on the Wishing Roads because they felt the call of the Maiden of Journeys. They’re also the ones who want to expand Selene’s reaches well beyond the Kuiper Belt, and are the reason that there are some tiny little places on Io and Mars.
The Maiden herself watches over the Wishing Roads, and her courtiers explore them with abandon, though her protection isn’t perfect. But then again, the Explorers wouldn’t want it any other way. Emotion: Wonder
Venus — Serenity
Venusian; (Moon) Rabbits, Gardeners
The Court of Serenity are empathetic and caring, and keep the Freehold of Selene running. They create flourishing hedge gardens that are welcome to all, and make sure to try helping the other Courtiers with their problems. They are the volunteers without whom Selene would simply be a dead rock floating in space.
The Maiden herself makes Selene able to grow food, both fae and mortal. Her bounty is tended to by her acolytes.
Emotion: Compassion
Mars — Battle Martian; Warriors, Tacticians
The Moon is a harsh mistress. While the other Celestial Courts might try to tame it, the Chosen of Battles makes sure that it stays in one piece. The Gentry aren’t the only threat the Court of Battle has to face. Strange shapeshifting horrors lurk in the dark, and even stranger alien threats abound. The Martian Courtiers fight those threats as well, clashing against them with spear and sword and magic.
The Bargain with the Maiden of Battle protects Selene from the Idigam, Angels of the God-Machine, and greater threats that would obliterate Selene. The formless spirit monsters, Huntsmen, and fungal aliens that slip through, her children take care of.
Emotion: Tenacity
Jupiter — Secrets
Jovian; Tattletales, Treasure Keepers
The Jovian Court hunts down secrets. Not simply to hoard the arcane and dangerous knowledge away—though they do that as well—but also to reveal the secrets, even when doing so causes trouble. They are forever driven by the desire to know what’s in the box, as well as the joy in hiding something in a box from others.
The Maiden of Secrets protects Selene by covering the Freehold from the prying eyes of both Supernatural and Terrestrial agents. The blanket of secrecy isn’t perfect, though, and her chosen keep the Freehold from leaving traces.
Emotion: Curiosity
Saturn — Endings
Saturnine; Judges, Crones
The Maiden Saturn, sometimes called the Crone, is the final arbiter of all. She and her Court oversee the end of all things and the crushing void of space. But as with the Tarot Death, she isn’t simply a complete ending, but instead change. One door opens and another closes. They are the opportunity of the void. They act as judges of the Freehold, meting out punishments and calling for restitution.
The Crone grants her blessing to Selene by allowing the Freehold to breathe, the void of her star ocean parting for the area around the Freehold.
Emotion: Resignation ​

So this probably won't make sense, as it doesn't even make sense to me. However, I'm hoping someone can relate or maybe even have a little insight as to why this happens.
I'm very self aware, I notice patterns, I know my reasoning behind most of my mental health issues, etc. However what I don't understand is why it's always around the same times Every. Single. Year. Literally even around the same time every day. Trauma responses based off dates? I don't know.
Around the first week of June the past few years I start experiencing dizziness, depersonalization, severe health anxiety, panic attacks, etc. I'm fine most mornings, then around 12 to 1 pm, sometimes not until 2pm if I'm lucky, I start to feel this way and it is so overwhelming. And it happens EVERY DAY. By the end of June and into July it is usually severe and accompanied by suicidal thoughts, the works. Once September hits it simmers down, and by Decemeber I am fine again until June hits. I thought since I recognized this pattern I would have more control over it this time around.
Nope. Jokes on me. The past 3 days now around this time I'm in full blown panic and trying to rationalize with myself. My Therapist randomly dropped me a couple weeks ago (he's leaving the practice) and I've called everywhere and no one can see me, waitlists are 3 months backed up. 🙃 Perfect timing, right?
Little insight as well, I'm full blown homebound agoraphobic, have been off and on since 17. Currently 3 years homebound again right now. Panic disorder. Borderline personality. PTSD. OCD. My heads just not a good place to reside. 😅

I (25M) feel that I have limerence for my 'friend' (22M). My friend and I met at work exactly a year ago, being office mates, and we connected quite well. But before I tell the story, I just want to say that as a bisexual person in a small town, the center of my social circle has always been straight guys, and I've never had issues with it. I've always had the ability to not develop romantic interest in friendships. So, when I look back at this situation, I don't know how I ended up here.
A year ago, when we became office mates, I did feel a crush on him. He's an attractive and sweet guy, and immediately, I remember perfectly, I tried not to get close to him, because I thought he was straight, at least until the crush faded away. But then, I felt that in our day-to-day interactions at work, there was some kind of reciprocation of attraction or at least; interest. It started with small gestures like getting me a more comfortable chair, waiting for me with coffee in the morning, the way his face lit up with a smile when I entered the office... Day by day, these details made me fall for him.
Perhaps they weren't the clearest signs of attraction, but... I let him in before the crush faded away.
During the following weeks and months at work, we started getting closer. I would say it was a pretty intimate friendship. After spending eight hours in a monotonous job, we would come home and call each other on the phone, talking until 2 am. We would spend weekends together, go out to dinner, make plans...
In one way or another, the relationship didn't feel like the ones I had with other friends. The closeness, the intimacy, the day-to-day interactions... It filled a loneliness that I didn't know existed, and yet, it intensified on the realization that he is straight.
But even so, I had already fallen for him.
Towards the end of the year, he met a girl, and I decided to meet new people as well. I met a girl, but it didn't work out. Shortly after, I met a guy, but that didn't work out either. I felt like I was already 'taken,' as if I had nothing more to offer in the romantic aspect, even though I knew it was all just an illusion.
Their relationship also ended up not working out. At some point, I don't remember the exact reason, driven definitely by my frustration, we had a discussion that forced us to sit down and talk honestly. We didn't define an "us," we weren't that brave, but we did address the situation. And that's when he said something that both excited and broke my heart.
"We're like a couple..." he said when we were talking about why it didn't work out with his ex, and he continued, "I didn't feel as appreciated as when I'm with you."
When we went out, he would sometimes comment on how comfortable he felt, maybe in our shared loneliness or heartbreak. He would say how he only wanted "this" (referring to the things we did together like going to the movies, eating, talking late into the night, making plans), but with a girl. My goodness! We even made plans to move in together.
At the beginning of this year, we both left our job. It was my escape route, a month of heartbreak, and eventually, I would forget about it. That was the plan, and I had executed it. I lasted only half a week until he came back to me, saying, "Let go of the nonsense. We're friends. We can stop talking for a couple of days to reduce the 'intensity' of the relationship, but we don't have to go away."After that, he didn't let go... He put more effort into staying close to me. And I, I let him do it.
By the end of January, I had landed a good job - remote, good pay, low responsibilities and stress. Sometimes there's nothing to do... (Truly a nearly perfect job xD). And when a position opened up in March, I gave it to him... Now we work together again.
And I feel like we're stuck in a loop. He's getting to know some girls, but he's already complaining about the same things, that it's not the same, that he doesn't feel 'appreciated.' And I... I feel trapped, hopeful, lonely, and in love.
So I ask for your advice. Just like that, it serves as a form of release.

Obligatory, this happened yesterday.
I feel the need to provide some context. Firstly, I just started this job on Tuesday, and secondly, approximately 20 of my new coworkers are deaf or hard of hearing. Lastly, although I know a few basic signs, I am not fluent in sign language.
I recently got hired as a receiving agent at a manufacturing company, where a significant part of my role involves entering orders into the system and then moving large carts, weighing up to 250lbs, through the shop. Occasionally, colleagues from other sections in the shop will help me out by taking the carts after I've entered the orders, to lighten my workload.
Now, here's where the story begins. I had just finished entering an entire cart of parts into our system, and I was about to wheel it out to the shop when my coworker, let's call him Greg, approached to take the cart for me. My manager, who we'll refer to as Amy, translated that Greg would take the cart to the shop for me. Amy then left and went back to her desk.
When I finished putting labels on the parts, I decided to express my gratitude to Greg through sign language. I attempted to sign "thank you" to him. Greg seemed a bit taken aback and confused by my gesture, but he returned a similar sign and laughed. I was confused by his reaction but didn't dwell on it too much and continued with my work.
This morning, however, I couldn't shake off the feeling that something was off. I began to ponder why Greg seemed confused by my sign. Consequently, I decided to search for the sign language gesture for "thank you" and quickly realized that what I had been signing was entirely incorrect. I continued to search for what the gesture I had signed meant, and when I found it, it finally sunk in that the chin flick I had made is not a sign of gratitude at all, but rather a disrespectful gesture akin to saying "fuck you."
TLDR; I accidentally gestured the equivalent of "fuck you" to one of my deaf coworkers when my intention was to express "thank you."

Catch the full episode: https://www.wealthformula.com/podcast/371-ask-buck-june-2023/
Buck: Welcome back to the show, everyone. And today it's just me. Like old times. And we're going to take questions from the audience. There's actually no audience here in my room, in my office here. But I'm going to take questions from you. And we'll start with the question from Mike. Mike, here you go. Hello, Buckets. Mike Kaye from Melbourne Beach, Florida.
Mike: I was wondering if you were looking at any opportunities out there in regards to investing in distressed assets. I've noticed that rates have gone up in a lot of operators like Western wealth aren't cash flowing and are actually looking for more capital because they've got themselves into trouble. And if rates stay higher than expected, there could be some some pretty good deals as far as bailing folks out.
Buck: So I wanted to get your thoughts on if you were looking for anything out there as far as funds or whatever it may maybe create some opportunity here. Thanks, Mike. Thanks for the question, Mike. The answer well, let's start with this. Obviously, there's a lot of distress in the system right now. Interest rates have gone up a the steepest slope in American history.
And as you might expect, that has not been good for operators, particularly those who relied heavily on floating debt. You know, and this is important, I think, to understand what's going on a little bit, because you might be wondering why in the world would you use floating debt anyway? Well, if it's a long term hold, it never would really make sense to do that kind of short term debt.
However, and with these larger assets, the problem is fixing debt. If your plan is to, you know, ultimately sell. And, you know, 18 to 24 months, you are going to end up with an extremely high prepayment penalty. And so in those situations, the extremely short hold are the shorter hold models, you know, generally ran on floating rate. So if you're again, your business model is to get in and out in 18 months, it doesn't make sense to lock in the rates.
So obviously now they would be better off if we had. But everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face. Right. That is from Mike Tyson, not from me. But that's that's kind of what's happening across the board here, especially for floating rates. And as for looking into creating this fund, which, you know, maybe you got a rescue fund or something like that, that the answer was whether I, I think that that's potentially something to do is, well, yeah, it's certainly something to consider.
And I have thought about it. These are essentially these sort of preferred equity positions, essentially become the lender. So there's not like any tax benefits or anything like that. But so, you know, I have thought about this, but but before doing anything like that, I want to make sure, you know, the economics makes sense for everyone against, again, perhaps one of the most appealing parts of this fund might actually to be getting into some second positions and maybe be first in line if the property fails and you know it or is distressed, it needs to be taken over.
But I really need to think about it because I also want everyone to have as much dry powder as possible. And because, again, it is no fun to be in this environment and those people who are going to make money are going to be the ones that have like nerves of steel that, you know, are okay to feel like, okay, I'm losing some money on one hand, but there's an opportunity to buy distressed assets on the other side.
And that's where real money is made. And again, it's a psychological thing that happens in every cycle. And the key is to try to keep your wits about you and learn, you know, learn whatever lessons you have to learn and move on and deploy. I certainly am not one who is not learned from this experience. Myself, I absolutely have, and I think it'll make me a better investor going forward.
Unfortunately, we're still in the midst of this mess right now. But anyway, bottom line is the answer is yes, potentially. I've thought about it. And I think like those kinds of preferred equity, essentially debt being in the second position behind the main lender, that is that's potentially appealing. And certainly as an investor, I think it's appealing because essentially you're you're in a lending position. You're not you know, you're not in an equity position, so you're superior to the equity position. Hopefully that helps. All right. Let's go on to the next question here. So it's from John.
John: Hi, this is John Valentino. I listened to your excellent podcast every Sunday morning on my run, walk and find them uniquely interesting and helpful amongst a sea of podcasts that aren't.
Buck: Yesterday you mentioned Terry Loughlin and your late in life swimming experience. I'm 68 now and at 55 I decided to learn to swim. I researched all of Terry's stuff and ended up using a local swimming coach here in Fresno, California, who knew Terry and who had a lot of experience. He had me swimming, breathing and flipped, turning very quickly.
Four years ago when we visited Maui, I did a two mile ocean swim with some master swimmers. I now swam about a mile and a half every Sunday with which the swim coach they taught me. And I do that. I listen to your podcast. I'm sure we could get you swimming and breathing properly very quickly. He Fresno's not too far from Montecito. Good luck with your swimming and let me know if you'd like me to hook you up with Rich. The swim coach.
Buck: Well, John, thanks for that. That makes for a lighter moment in this sea of despair. Ha ha ha. That's funny, kid at sea of despair. He's swimming. Anyway, for those of you who don't know what John is referring to, I'll just take a minute because, you know, taking questions from all kinds.
All types of questions here is back in 2016, I think it was 16, I listened to Tim Ferriss podcast about how he spent his whole life trying to swim and unsuccessfully, I'd say, met up a guy, met up with a guy named Terry Loughlin, who taught his total immersion technique or tie. So I decided, well, gosh, you know, basically Tim Ferriss was talking about my story, like he spent his entire, like, you know, didn't learn to swim as a little kid and then all this and trying to catch up and no one could teach him.
And that was kind of where I was. I do like him numerous, like tries added back in my twenties and thirties, and then I kind of had given up. Then I contacted Terry. He was in New York, upstate New York. So he actually flew out there. I was in Chicago at the time and he taught me to swim in about 2 to 3 hours and it was really unbelievable to me.
And the only thing I didn't learn how to do during that visit was to breathe. And unfortunately, that was so that was like I was there for like a day and a half. And that was the part I didn't get to. So now I can swim, but only as long as I can hold my breath because I can't seem to, you know, I can't breathe and swim at the same time.
Unfortunately, Terry had, end stage cancer. When I saw him and I believe I was his last student before he died a couple of months later, and he'd actually stopped teaching for a while, you know, before I got to be the lucky one that he decided he had enough strength to go back for. So lucky for me. So but yeah, I would love to, you know, John, shoot me an email, you know, where I am and I get well for Malcolm Connect me to your guy.
And I think Fresno might be a little far, but if he's as good as Terry, maybe I could. Maybe I could learn to breathe in a day, too. So, hey, anyway, thanks. Thanks for that. Let's go on to the next question here. All right. This one's from I think it's Garima.
Garima: I am looking to become a real professional on studies. We've been doing real estate for a little bit but wanted to do this. I really need help. If you can guide me well and see.
Buck: Well, I don't know. I can do my best about that, Garima. And first of all, I have to preface this as I always do, that what I'm about to say is not legal or any kind of tax advice. I'm not a tax professional. My degree is in medicine. I'm a former board certified surgeon, but that doesn't qualify me for much. And this in this arena, it's just my understanding of the tax law, which, you know, I spent a fair amount of time thinking about. So it's not like what I'm saying should not be listened to, I think.
But on the other hand, the liability issues, I have to make very clear consult with your own tax professional before anything anyway. So again, probably the best thing I can do in terms of guiding is tell you what I know about the qualification as real estate professionals status. And by the way, I should also point out that the benefits that I'm going to talk about, there's a lot of this similar benefits without having the status in short term rentals.
And that episode, I believe, is 354. So go back and listen to that one. It's I thought that was a pretty interesting episode. But why is agreement talking about this RFP short for a real estate professional So everyone is on the same page? What is the real estate professional designation? Why is it useful? Well, a real estate professional is not the same thing, is in a real estate agent or a real estate broker, which are basically involved with real estate transactions.
They're involved as like the middleman. Right. That's not really the business of real estate. The real estate professional is someone who is who is materially involved with the business of owning and operating business. And the reason that this is important, we'll get to in a minute, but I'm going to go into the qualification parts of this. And again, I'm not giving you advice and basically telling you what I can gather from the IRS website And basically the material participation is one of the first things.
So you can't you can't be a limited partner in a bunch of real estate and call yourself a real estate professional. You have to have some activities that are truly owning and, you know, operating real estate. I mean, you have to be involved in the management operations of your rental properties, right? So the level of involvement is different than obviously if, you know, even if you have a propertyif you have a property manager or whatever, it's still going to be more active than if you're just a limited partner.
But another one of the things that you have to qualify for is you have to spend more than 50% of your total working hours in real estate activities. So in other words, if you know, if you've got a full-time job, you can't really qualify as a real estate professional. There has to be more hours than any other profession. Right? Your participation in real estate activities has to exceed anything else that you're doing in terms of business and employment. There's also something called the 750-hour test, which you must spend at least 750 hours per year on real estate activities. And some of these things that you can do include property management or rent collection or maintenance or advertising, other related issues, acquisitions, underwriting, etc.
I mean, there's a lot of things that, you know, once you own real estate, you can be an active owner, right? So anywhere that's... So why would you want this designation? Because it sounds onerous to go and try to make sure you've got all these things if you're not already doing it. Well, as you may know, the real estate income itself, that real estate income itself is considered passive income.
Right. And similarly, the losses from real estate in the form of depreciation are considered passive losses for most people. Those passive losses cannot be applied to any active income, right? So if you have an income of $500,000 and you happen to have $500,000 of depreciation or paper losses, you couldn't use those losses to offset your personal active income.
The reason is that one is active and one is passive. So you can't do that. And unfortunately, unless maybe you or your spouse, rather, with whom you file jointly is a real estate professional. So in this case, what would happen is those passive losses from real estate would become activated, in other words, their active losses. And you can, you know, you can offset anything with active losses, right.
And even W-2 income. So that's the idea. So, again, theoretically, check with your legal, you know, and tax people and hopefully they know what they're talking about. But see, if you're a C, if you're a doctor, you're making, again, $500,000. And let's say your spouse, who's a real estate professional, generated maybe $50,000 in income, but $300,000 of paper losses, you can deduct that $300,000 from the salary, that is earned income on the doctor's side.
So basically, that is what the huge, big deal is about this real estate professional status. And again, I'm not a tax professional, but this is something that a lot of people in our group do, and it is, you know, following the tax code, that's the key. So Garima, bottom line is I don't know how else I can guide you other than to give you information.
But, you know, I guess what I would do if I were you is, you know, try to figure out how you can actually, you know, get yourself qualified as a real estate professional and make sure that, you know, you fit those criteria and talk to your tax person about it. Okay. Next question is from Mark Hammons. Mark's question deals with tax law, and I'm not sure it's appropriate for this forum.
Feel free to pass on if you feel like addressing it. Well, it's another question. Well, you know how I feel about that. I'll tell you what I think. But
don't take it as tax advice in any sort of way. But okay, so here's the question Mark says. He says, I'm a partner in an LLC that was formed for residential development.
Our project is nearing completion, and this year it will take business income to be taxed at a 20% LLC rate. I will receive income from the sale of raw land and taxed as long-term capital gains. I'm a full-time physician and not actively involved in the business of land development. Can I offset any of this income with accumulated passive losses and leases?
Thanks, Mark, for all you do. Thank you, Mark. And well, as you may have gathered from the previous question and the answer that I gave Garima, you are a full-time physician, my friend, and therefore you do not qualify as a real estate professional, and therefore you cannot use those passive losses against your active income as a physician, and you are stuck in that stratification of income hell, which is that you've got these great-looking losses on the passive side and this great income on the active side, and you cannot do anything about it.
So now, if your wife was doing this real estate stuff and qualified as a real estate professional based on the criteria I mentioned earlier, then you would theoretically be able to apply those passive losses to active income, and boom, all of a sudden, you would have what it is you are hoping for. And anyway, but I do have people in our group who are literally, you know, with that spouse set up.
Well, that's why I brought it up, right, where they literally had a spouse quit their job so that they can switch to real estate professional status. And although their cash flow may constitute a theoretical pay cut from their job, the generated losses, paper losses, are being applied to the larger active income stack. There, in many cases, justifies that because they may make a total gross amount of income that's less.
But because of those passive losses, they actually get to keep more. So that's a complicated answer to a simple question. In my non-professional opinion, Mark, you are kind of screwed. Can't do that anyway. All right. So the next series of questions is from Terry. And let's see, let's start with the first one. Is this one. My understanding is there are U.S. dollars held overseas in the United States.
What would be the impact to the value of the dollar if the overseas cash had to be converted to CBDCs, which is central bank decentralized coins? Well, I'm no expert on this, but from what I know, I'm not sure it would have a material effect on anything overseas because as I understand, CBDCs is a little more than using distributed ledgers instead of central ledgers for digital money, right?
Because the thing is, you have to remember that 90% of the U.S. dollars are digital-only already. They do not exist in the physical world already. So what difference does it make if it's on a single ledger or if it's on a distributed ledger? I'm not sure that it does. As I understand it, the idea would be essentially to make it into like a software update almost, right, where the new digital currencies would be CBDCs.
But of course, I could be wrong, and my understanding of the plan that the U.S. has there is it could be wrong. I'm sure there's a larger plan eventually to use this as a way of maximizing tax revenues and tracking people's spending and that kind of thing. But in the short term, I don't really see how it has repercussions for money overseas.
But if somebody knows of something that would cause that, certainly email me. But I don't know that. Okay. This question is also from Terry. He says, "Rising interest rates have had an impact on existing multifamily operators, and it seems like part of the multifamily model relies on interest rate value being lower than cap rates." That's correct. "Combined with the multiplier effect of low cap rates for value-add projects, do you see cap rates going up until interest rates come down?"
How high can cap rates go before the value-add model is no longer viable? Are rents still rising fast enough to offset interest hikes? Okay. So yes, I do see cap rates going up. Remember, in order for debt to make sense, the interest rates must be lower than the cap rate. So if your borrowing rate is 5%, then your cap rate needs to be above that in order to have positive cash flow.
Otherwise, you're amplifying your losses. That said, often, you know, you may have seen in some cases operators buying things and they'll consider buying things like that. If there's an obvious thing that's going to drive up net operating income pretty quickly. But right now we are seeing rising cap rates. Now, as for the value-add model being viable, I would say that yes, the value-add model is viable in all interest rate environments and with all cap rates because remember, folks, real estate was not people didn't just start making money on value-add.
This has been around for some time, right? There are plenty of people who got rich off of value-add real estate in the eighties despite double-digit interest rates in double-digit cap rates. So what has created so much distress in this system is not the absolute interest rates. It's the pace at which the interest rates went up.
They're the moving goalposts. You see, every time you underwrite a property, you have to model in interest rates and reversion cap rates. And if rates are not stable, it's very difficult to underwrite. And that's why these real estate markets right now have been so illiquid. There really are no stable variables to underwrite with. Rightly, you got to have the goalposts, you got to know where the goalposts are so you can play the game right.
Once you have that stability, though, you can underwrite again, and in value-add real estate, the money isn't made based on interest rates being high or low, but it is made by ultimately creating a positive delta in the net operating income. And that can happen in all interest rate and cap rate environments. So I don't see it being an end to value-add real estate at all.
In fact, one could argue that if you're, say, you're buying real estate, which hopefully we are in the fall, and you're getting great deals on it, you know, the rates are high, but the numbers are making sense. You do your normal net operating income, you do your normal value-add program, you try to increase NOI, and you get lucky.
And by the time you're ready to sell, interest rates have actually come down. Well, in that case, you're going to actually probably get, you know, more for your property than you would otherwise if rates were stable. So I actually don't see this as something that is ending anything. In fact, I think those who, again, take advantage of a higher-rate environment and buy into assets that make sense at high interest rates could seriously make money in the next, you know, several years.
So let's see, the last question from Terry is, "What are your thoughts on portfolio allocation between real estate stocks, cash value insurance, gold, crypto, and cash?" Well, I might not be the best person to ask about portfolio allocation because I think my portfolio would make most money managers think, right? I'm about 75% real estate, maybe 5-7% crypto, mostly Bitcoin, Ethereum, and the remaining investments are things that I believe are uncorrelated.
The most stable thing is, you know, I'm a big fan of cash value life insurance in part because, I mean, it is so stable. I mean, seriously, it is incredibly stable. If you look at the environment that we're in right now, it makes you, again, think you should be buying more cash value life insurance. It's extremely stable.
And this is why it was such a big deal during the Great Depression. People lived through the Depression and had no faith in anything except for cash value life insurance, which is what they were buying. But anyway, I think, in particular, I'm talking about these strategies that we're calling, well, formula banking or various leverage dials, wealth accelerators, things like that.
So there's that. I'm also obviously into other things that we have in our group. We're involved with like ATMs, which, you know, don't seem to have much correlation with the economy per se because people who use that still needed it. Good times or bad and did well even through COVID. You know, there's also things that we're doing, like I'm invested in things like, you know, cargo ships that are delivering essential oil and gas to the country, things like that, where again, it's not something that is significantly correlated with the rest of the markets.
And I think that's one of the things to really make sure that you're not... I mean, listen, I guess in my case, being 75% real estate, I mean, it's not a good time to be 75% real estate right now. Right. I probably... I mean, if I did the numbers, I'm probably less than 75% real estate now because I probably lost quite a bit of value in the real estate.
But I'm not even going to look at that right now for this purpose. But ultimately, though, you know, listen, personal finance should be personal. I don't own stocks, although I'm not against stocks. I'm just, you know, not a guy who really owns stocks except for some big, really, you know, asymmetric plays in the energy space, you know, through Mercatus and things like that.
I don't own any physical gold, although again, I've talked about possibly wanting to do that. I don't really want to right now, but I'm hoarding cash right now because I think there are going to be tremendous buying opportunities in real estate with distressed assets, and I think that's going to be the name of the game in Q4. So but again, I do not think it's a good idea to listen to me about portfolios.
I think I think it's if you want those kinds of things, you probably should, you know, talk to others, talk to, talk to, you know, our RIA's, things like that. But to me, again, personal finance is really personal. And for me, I'm, you know, I'm pretty aggressive on some of the things that I have a lot of belief in.
So, okay. Well, I guess that's my last question. Before I go, I want to remind you that there's another actually, there's actually another podcast that I do now, which is, you know, it's kind of just taking something that I was spending a lot of time learning about and and and trying to process myself and turning it into another show so that I could share with you.
The show is called CPO, CPO. You can find it on pretty much all of the ways that you find this show and
hopefully on YouTube soon too. We haven't quite gotten to YouTube, I think, but the show is, I think, very interesting because, you know, we talk about wealth on the show, but I mean, you know, what do what is more what's more coveted than, you know, actually having health because then your wealth is actually useful.
So a lot of Sabio is really about various types of longevity and wellness type stuff on the science that we know out there. Really interesting stuff to me and would love for you to check it out again at Sabio with Buck Joffrey. Check it out and let me know if you like it. Give me a positive review. That's it for me.
This week on Wealth Formula podcast, this is Buck Joffrey signing off.

I was in the hospital yesterday morning and i was told i would feel pretty terrible for the next few days. I unfortunately work a full shift today, no pto and i cant afford to call out without getting fired. I don't think im capable of working a full shift let alone work at all. I'm not sure what to do.

Hello Reddit, I am a 21M, and I just wanted to come on here and let people know about my experience with this antibiotic.
I had a pilonidal cyst and so a dermatologist gave me a prescription for about 2 weeks' worth of Doxycycline (100 mg, twice a day, preferably in the morning and then again at night before I go to bed). My horrible experience started very soon after taking my first dose, though I did not realize it. On day 2 of taking the antibiotic, I had eaten some wings for dinner. I started to feel lightheaded and had an overwhelming weird feeling in my body. I have the potential for HBP because of my parents, so I figured it was related to that. I felt pretty bad through the night, and couldn't go to sleep for a while, but eventually, I was able to calm myself down enough to go to sleep. The following day, I woke up feeling okay, but progressively felt worse as the day continued. I had shortness of breath, arm numbness, uncomfortable chest pressure (on the left side), and a weird tingling that shot throughout my entire body. My anxiety also rose to a new high. I thought I was having a heart attack. My parents, who are both medical professionals, said it was just anxiety but I managed to get them to take me to the ER anyway. Spent like 5 or 6 hours in the ER just for them to tell me I'm perfectly healthy and all I have is moderate HBP, which is mostly due to my anxiety. Even after, the symptoms still persisted for the following days, and I assumed it must have just been due to my BP levels...
Flash forward to just a few days ago, I had moved back to my dorm and felt pretty okay, though the lightheadedness and shortness of breath never seemed to go away truly. I was doing more walking to try and get my BP down and it had started to work, when suddenly I started getting all of these horrible symptoms back again. The lightheadedness persisted, dizziness, shortness of breath, heartbeat skips, chest pressure...It finally hit a head when I was driving to practice down the interstate and I felt this horrible wave through my body, I thought I was going to pass out, and my heart rate jumped to like 110-120 BPM. It was, and still is, the worst sensation I have ever felt in my life. I pulled over on the side of the road and called my mom and told her how I felt and asked what I needed to do. She talked me through my symptoms and then told me it was most likely just a panic attack. By the end of the conversation, my symptoms had gone away and I felt moderately normal again. I decided to go back to my room for the remainder of the day and rest. The attack hit me again as I drove back to my dorm, but that time I was better equipped to deal with it.
When I got back to my room, my dad called me and asked me about what happened, and I told him. Throughout the entire conversation, I felt these waves of pressure go through my body. I could barely focus on anything and at times it felt like I was going to pass out, but I was still fine. My parents told me to just try and relax, so I got in bed and tried to relax, but I couldn't. My heart rate continued to rise, the left side of my chest was highly uncomfortable, and I still had shortness of breath, lightheadedness, dizziness, slight nausea, crazy chest tightness, and this feeling of what felt like indigestion...like something was stuck in my chest. It had been two hours since that last conversation when I told my parents about these symptoms. My dad decided we should go to the ER again, so my parents came and picked me up from my dorm and brought me to the ER near home.
This time I was in the ER for 9 hours (so fun...). All my tests came back negative once again. EKG looks "textbook healthy" as the nurse said, and all my blood work came back perfect as well. X-Ray showed no signs of anything abnormal. My BP was high when I came in, but by the time I was settled out, it had lowered back to proper levels. In all, no one knew what was wrong with me besides anxiety elevating my symptoms. Out of nowhere, my dad asked about the Doxy...specifically wondering how long I had been taking it. I told them it's been two weeks...which is exactly how long I've been dealing with all of these horrible symptoms. My mom then looked up the side effects of Doxy, something we hadn't actually done yet for some reason...and...well look at that...all the side effects match up with the symptoms I had been having :)
So when we got back home, I tossed the Doxy. I'm trying to cycle the rest of it out of my system so I can feel normal again. This is the 3rd day since my most recent ER visit. The symptoms have not really gotten any better. I still get at least one panic attack a day, though it is much more manageable now that I know I'm not actually having a heart attack. I still have shortness of breath, my heart rate will run high, I'll feel warm for short periods of time, my heart will randomly skip beats (this can sometimes trigger a panic attack, which makes my HR and BP skyrocket temporarily), I get weird poking feelings in between my left shoulder and arm and occasionally in my actual arm, I still get occasional stinging chest pains, tightness in the middle of my chest, "indigestion", and the uncomfortable feeling in the left side of my chest.
I am drinking a lot of water to flush the Doxy through my system fully, and have 10 billion count probiotics that I take once a day to help rebalance my gut. I'm looking forward to feeling normal again...

This all started about a month ago. A company reached out to me saying that they create customized AI chatbots for personal use and business use and they would give me a free trial for a month to try. I own my own business, a local roofing company, it’s not a huge but we do pretty well. The company told me that it would generate 10x more sales and leads so I thought why not. It was free and I loved the idea of having my own JARVIS (from ironman). The first few weeks produced amazing results and I was kind of stunned by how many more leads I got after this customized AI had launched on my website. The problem started two weeks ago. My free trial has ended and I decided to pay upfront for a year to keep using it since it was really helping my business. It’s important to note that this chatbot also has a voice recording feature where it will transcribe what you say if you want it to. One morning I was playing around with the voice recording when I got interrupted and had to go to work on an emergency call. I left my laptop open left the house. Came back later that night and didn’t think anything of it until I got an email the next morning from the company.
The summary of the email was them asking if I had seen any spam content and visits on my website because the voice to text feature had picked up a whole bunch of random phrases and it had alerted their cyber-security department. I told them no and asked what some of the phrases were and she said things along the line of “Oh baby”, “Fuck” “Chase”and just alot of random letters put together.
I thought it was extremely odd because I had been away from my laptop all day at work. I almost deactivated my subscription because I thought there was some evil terminator shit going on. But I decided to leave my laptop in the same place with the voice recorder on again just to see if the same thing happened. Sure enough I got enough I got another email the next day saying there might be fraudulent activity on my website. I decided to call them and I got through to someone in the Cyber security division. I told him I kept getting these emails and I was wondering if I could hear what the voice recording sounded like. He told me he can’t release that data without a signed document and proof of identity to be the owner of the account and a few other documents proving myself. It took a few days to get processed but finally I got an email with the voice recording. My stomach dropped to my knees and I could not believe what I was hearing. It was my wife obviously having sex with someone who was not me. It was with my brother, chase. How I didn’t put two and two together when I first got those transcriptions I have no idea. I am utterly heart broken and I am moving my things out as I write this. However I am extremely grateful for that company and it’s safe to say I will be a customer for a very long time.

My husband is an alcoholic. He relapsed last October and came to me begging for help to get sober again. His reaction to his relapse seemed so genuine so I decided to help him and he had been sober ever since then. He has a sponsor, he goes to meetings 4 times per week, he has been very open with communication in terms of his needs along this path. This weekend he went on a trip with some coworkers a few hours away to go see a band they really enjoy. My husband and I had clear communication with his plan to be in a bar environment. He told me he was going to be open about his sobriety to his friends. He told me that he knows he can't have just one beer, that he knows I'll leave him this time, and that he doesn't want to look his sponsor in the face and tell him he relapsed. Well, last night he did in fact relapse. I found out this morning because he normally texts me frequently but he wasn't responding to my texts or phone calls. Once I started calling repeatedly, he would only text me. I finally got him on the phone and you could clearly hear that he was drunk. Before I could say anything, he said he was on his way home and he wanted to talk to me. I told him that I can clearly tell he's drunk and that I don't want to talk to him. I told him our marriage is over and he needs to find somewhere else to stay. He hung up on me. This is the 8th time in 6 years he has relapsed. I know, I know, I shouldn't have stayed but here we are. I'm finally ready. We have 2 kids together. A 12 year old that is mine but he adopted and a 4 year old that's both of ours. We have a house that I'm on the deed but not the mortgage, where he is on both. He has the car loans, utilities, phones, credit cards, and everything else in his name. I have been a SAHM for 5 years and am currently a full time student. What are the steps that I need to take to make the smartest decisions here for myself and my kids? How do I not end up homeless, without a car, without a phone, with no money, etc. How do I get over my guilt for my kids and my fears that I can't protect them emotionally at his house and I'm not there. How do I even pay for a lawyer or find a good lawyer? His mom is crazy rich so I know she will find the best and most expensive lawyer possible because she's mad that I won't work it out with my husband.
TLDR; Husband relapsed. I'm calling it quits. Need advice on how to navigate a divorce.

Yesterday, at the begining of one of the busiest 10 day stretches of my family's life my wife called me to say the tire indicator went on. When I got home the tires looked ok, took the car to Costco this morning for the free tire pumps and indeed, one was low. I looked at the tire and I could see the metal bracket causing the problem.
I use Firestone for my tires, but they get very busy, so since I was there I asked if they could take a look. They did quickly determined it could be repaired, and less than an hour later I was driving home. Just awesome customer service and it only cost $10.99.
Side note, I walked to some other stores in the shopping center and got very warm. When I went back to Costco the car wasn't quite ready so I went into the Eggs and Milk cooler to cool down (they should put a bench in there).

New account for anonymity of course.
Years ago I was working a job. It was a simple job, but it was rather enjoyable at times. It was a lot of soldering, manufacturing, etc. Its where I learned how to solder which I've actually loved since.
After I worked there for about 8-10 months we got a new batch of new hires, one was a very short woman who was incredibly sassy and clearly didn't take shit from anyone. Within the first 2-3 days of working with her, I still remember one as we were all clocking in I offered for her to clock in ahead of me and she waved me ahead saying "women first". It was rather endearing honestly.
A few weeks into working with her (not always on the same shift or job assignment, so we didn't always work "together" at all) we started to talk a bit more and more. Turns out she's married, 2 kids, nice family, good lil life. She's just working this to help out with the bills. I ended up teaching her a lot about the job as I had learned a lot prior to her showing up and had taken quite well to this kind of work. As time goes on we get closer, talking more about life, family, etc. I explain my situation saying I'm still living at home sadly (was 28 at the time, lot of bad choices / situations in my life) and her being 32 I believe at the time, saying she doesn't think she loves her husband anymore and that she's not totally unhappy... Just.. Not fulfilled I suppose is the best word.
Well as it turns out, I didn't have the best morals at all, because over time we grew closer and closer and I flirted a lot. Like... A lot. And she flirted wasn't innocent in the slightest, she flirted back as much if not more.
For clarification, we worked the swing shift so we'd get off work around midnight and every few weeks a few of us would go to a strip club together after our shift, eat some food, hang out, etc. Well one of those nights her and I went out alone to the strip club together. Just us, eating food, enjoying the show, etc. After about 2 hours we ended up back in my car like 100 feet away from the entrance and after talking/flirting a bit more we ended up having sex for the first time in my car right outside of a strip club. Romantic, I know. That was our first time. Many more times were to come.
Over time we continued to keep this up. We joined the local gym together and again, after our shift we'd go to work out together. We had sex in their pool, their sauna, my car, her car. My car a few times during our lunch break (I'd drive for like 2 min away from our building, find a remote spot and yeah). We took a few "vacations" together. Where she'd tell her family it was a "work" thing and we'd rent a hotel at a nice resort for a few nights and it always ended up being a sexcapade. She'd come over to my family's house and we'd have sex there even though most of them knew of the situation.
To say this was all batshit and awful is no where close to what it actually boiled down to.
Over time I grew jealous, knowing she was the cheating type as I saw her often flirting with other men at work. I'd get really upset about it because (me being the complete idiot that I am) I actually did fall in love with her and truly saw a world where in a few months I was gonna buy a ring and ask her to leave her family to marry me. Again, just awful everywhere. Anyways, I'd confront her about my jealousy issues and she'd always gaslight me. Like HEAVY gaslighting. Eventually after many many fights, I decided to take a leap of faith and give in and *fully* trust her.. Great idea..
It was a lovely few weeks until I decided to quit that job to advance my career with a new job, but I had a lot of money saved so I was going to take some time off and just enjoy not working for a bit. Once I was officially done with that job, her and I still dated, saw each other, had sex, went on dates, etc. All the normal stuff except now our schedules are totally off so we didn't see each other as often. And then the texts and calls start coming in from some of my old co-workers... Saying she is now going to lunch with THAT guy (the one I was jealous off awhile ago), that she comes to work in his car, goes home in his car, they eat lunch together, etc etc. Pretty much everything that her and I did, and look where that landed us.
So I did the rational thing and followed them one morning. Turns out that yes, they were at the very least kissing/groping. And me being me, I had a meltdown and snapped. I finally gave in trusting her (which ofc was a terrible, terrible idea, but I did love her unfortunately) and it turned out everything I had thought ended up being true. The gaslighting was broken, eyes opened, I was upset.
To clarify one thing really quick, I realize in no world am I the victim here since I was a MAIN aspect to her cheating on her husband initially. So clearly I'm not looking for sympathy, I'm a villain here as well. I still got rocked hard in the end, which I suppose is fitting.
So I kind of go nuclear here now. I asked an old co-worker (a friend of the new guy she's with) for his address and he knew of the entire situation (we were not coy at work, at all, everyone knew) and so he told me where he lives with his family AND his girlfriend. So I go there, ask for the girlfriend, talk to her, explain the situation, she doesn't believe me, but listens to me. I actually don't know what if anything came from this, but she was told the story all the same.
Next is where this all starts to spiral. The woman I've been with now knows that I know, and she continues to gaslight even with me showing her endless amounts of proof she continues to deny.. So one night when she was at work (still on the swing shift) I went to HER house. The house with her husband and kids. Knocked on the door, the husband answers and I ask if I can speak to him outside.
I now fully explain the entire situation. And I mean... The ENTIRE situation. Everything. All of our "work vacations" which were a lie. He asked how many times we had sex, where, etc. All the details and I info dumped on him. Eventually ending with the reason for me doing this is that she's doing it again with *another* guy (btw a few months prior to ALL this shit I forgot to mention that she "fooled around" with another totally different co-worker, not sex but still messed around with them) and explained the original guy and also myself. And if nothing else told him he needs to talk to her and figure out what to do, whats going on, etc.
Fast forward a night or two? 3? idk, I started drinking HEAVILY during all of this, but at one point surprise surprise, for the first time in a week or two she shows up at my home after her shift. She's broken, crying, just... sad and depressed. She wasn't upset or angry because she knows we both hurt each other, so I wasn't angry with her in this moment, I just felt bad looking right in the eyes of a woman that I loved and seeing her broken. She kept talking about that night about killing herself, "just let me do it... It'll be easier" or something like that. I kept saying no and despite wanting to break down myself I suddenly found some sort of will and decided to take her back home. I asked my brother to drive my car behind me so that I could drive her car back to her house, back to the man that I recently spoke to about everything... Dropping off an extremely upset wife of his. Awkward doesn't even begin to describe the scenario.
So that was it. We stopped talking, she's still alive. No clue on her family situation though I suspect they worked through it.
Last update I can offer with all of this. Fast forward... 8 months later? Maybe? Maybe it was a year, I'm really unsure. But I got a job offer for being a supervisor at this new manufacturing plant. The pay was great considering what I was being paid. So I showed up, dressed up nicely for the first time in weeks (finally starting to feel better after this shit show) and as I'm finding a spot to park.... I see her car. I *KNOW* her car, she had a unique sticker on the back. It was hers. So like 15 min before my interview, I'm now struggling to fight off a panic attack outside. Eventually I suck it up, talk to the employer for awhile, they seem interested and we decide to go on a tour of their factory. As we're walking around my heart SINKS as I see her working quietly, and the interviewer addresses them and says this is "my name here" and he's applying for the supervisor role, just giving him a quick tour". We make eye contact and you can tell we're both breaking down instantly. She runs off to the bathroom, we move on with the tour, I don't accept the job and thats it. Last time I saw her or anyone in that whole world.
So thats my first confession here. Hopefully its not too convoluted or incoherent, its hard to write it all down since it happened years ago and I'm sure I missed numerous aspects, but this is the bulk of it.
Enjoy?

My pwBPD is a family member, and sadly I will not be able to get out of here until I finish law school.
They’re in one of their moods this week and have been making my life a living hell. They’ve been drinking all day everyday and blasting music at all hours.
Yesterday I came home to find them laying down on their own vomit and crying, cursing my mom and calling her all kinds of words. I was about to head to the bar myself since after working for 12 hours straight for an entire week, I’m not usually in the mood to pander to some little asshole’s tantrum.
My mom told me not to go since she was afraid of them. She told me they threw a bottle at them. Her own fucking son. I wanted to take a fucking belt and whip them right there and then. It’s been non stop abuse for years now.
I woke up this morning to find my entire bathroom filled with vomit. They couldn’t even clean up after themselves. What the fuck did I do? I have nothing to do with their imaginary problems. This person does nothing but sit on their ass and bitch all day.
I have no more compassion. If this person truly wanted to kill themselves, they would have done it by now. They just can’t stand to see the world turning even though they’re in pain. They want everyone to be miserable too and baby them.
Fuck them. I’m not cleaning shit. I’ve worked my ass off and I will enjoy my weekend.
Edit: My mom is safe and unharmed. She’s staying somewhere else and I’ll just let them destroy themselves. Funny how they’re not so crazy as to raise a hand to someone they can’t beat up.

im a 16 yr old boy who isnt a big fan of relationships and love due to when i was a child. i find it hard to like people but i understand them quite well, so when i like someone i really do like them. and I'm not really fussed about girlfriends in general. but there's this girl ( we will call her kate) that i really like and i enjoy spending time with kate and i really do believe she brings out the best in me. So i started making conversation with kate on snapchat and we spoke for 2 months everyday without fail. We would flirt and stuff but it was clear i was doing all of the effort, ig you could call me a "simp" the way i was acting. anyway kate told me one day she didn't see me in any romantic way and i was honestly heartbroken and she did it in a very nice way which i am thankful for. But recently we have been talking a lot more and at school my friend overheard kate talking with her friend about a guy she was interested in and she said "when we used to talk he was really weird but now has acting like himself i think i like him. and when he told me this my heart leapt out of my chest. However she used to like this other guy in my year who i have to say is a lot more attractive than me. and they talk all the time and i hate to say it I'm really jealous of their relationship. anyway yesterday we were at a party together and her friend has a massive crush on me which i already knew. and we flirted the whole night in front of kate and other people at the party she was quite uncomfortable with it. so i stopped flirting with kates friend and later on in the evening when kate was drunk she was being really flirty with me and touchy which i was quite uncomfortable with however i stayed at the party as she was getting quite unstable. kate ended up breaking down in my arms and crying and she kept saying how ugly she was and how she didn't feel safe with her parents. so i kept saying to her "don't worry Kate you will always be safe with me" or "ill always protect you" so when i leave the party i go to say goodbye to her and she just tells me to go away. and i left quite sad but i understood that she was drunk. so i messaged her this morning and asked if she was ok and she was being very blunt and rude to me. did i do something wrong because i asked my friend who was at the party if i did anything wrong and he said "its probably how you were flirting heavy with her friend the whole night" and now i don't know what to do.