Fall guys unblocked

Hey guys! Hope everyone is having a good start to the exam season. Not sure if anyone has been in a similar situation so I thought to post and see. I’m currently feeling really lost and stuck. I am taking a full course load this term and had a good start. I was following along really well, going to lecture, making all my notes, studying, etc. but long story short, I fell really sick during mid-October and while I didn’t have COVID, it was very covid like in terms of symptoms. I had to miss one test because of this and the prof kindly re-weighted the marks to the second test. I kept going to lectures, kept making my notes, and was super determined. Everything was fine. Then a situation triggered some disability-related symptoms and I fell sick again over the past two weeks. Pretty much bed ridden and depressed, I couldn’t move and was really numb, sick - whatever you want to say. The symptoms were bad. I missed another test in that same course and the prof offered me a makeup because I had medical documentation. I forwarded the docs to her and on those docs they indicated my expected illness end date. The prof was great but the makeup she offered fell immediately 2 days after I reached out. I indicated I was still sick, but I would do everything possible to write it. Makeup day came, I was still sick and I reached out to her letting her know. She offered another one but it still fell within my illness expected dates (again immediately after like the next day) and I had no in between time. Same thing happened. When I couldn’t make it again because everything was happening to soon and closely together and I was still sick, I reached out to the registrar. She contacted her for me but she indicated that she has done all she could and this would be a disservice to the other students. I understand this I really do - but it is so heartbreaking for me. I’ve figured something out in all my other courses and I’m finally starting to get better and write the other missed assessments coming up. I would love to finish this course. I have an accessibility appointment with my adviser but it seems the prof won’t be willing to do much more than she already has. I have documentation for needing to miss the previously scheduled makeup’s but at this point I’m wondering if there’s nothing more. Final decision is the profs and I really don’t want to have to petition anything. I just need one more chance next week and I don’t know. I was planning to finish my degree in the summer, but if this course doesn’t work out I’ll have to take one half credit in the fall and this seems like so much for one class. I’ve been active in my job search, hoping something finalises but I’m so stuck with this one course and situation. Does anyone have any advice? I know it’s my fault but I truly could not control the symptoms. Where do I go from here? I’ve done my best to explain the situation to the prof but I don’t see her changing her mind. Anything more I can do?

I (M, 21 years old) and I want to date my best friend (F, 20 years old) To put things in perspective, my best friend is happily dating her boyfriend who she met last year. At this time, she had been in one for more than a year. A little background information about myself: She is aware of the various casual relationships I have been in. She knows I like. She is aware that I am a one-night stand kind of guy, but she also knows and is aware of my seriousness towards her. You might characterise the way the bully falls for the nice girl as a ridiculous phenomenon that only occurs in movies. You may use that term. Before a month ago, I had never expressed my feelings for her. Nothing has changed between us, but things are different between her boyfriend and me. Both of my attempts to leave her or to advise her to break up with her boyfriend were fruitless. I've tried dating another woman, but I can't seem to settle down. I did eventually ask her if she wanted to be in a relationship with me, and she responded that she was already in one but would get in one with me if it ended (I know it was a stupid thing to ask). I'm aware that this sounds egotistical and dark, but at this point, I don't care what underhanded means I must employ to win her. How it's done is not important to me. All I know is I want her and I'm ready to stake everything.

(If required, leave a comment on something i have said; and i will try to find an accurate source for my claims.)
Dear Bonnell.
To a lot of people consuming your content, you come off as a stoic/cold person with a "could not care less" attitude. A lot of the times, this is clear as day.
However with the recent drama with Brittany Simon, I was surprised, and my notion of you and your relationships/interactions with other people have lead me down this rabbithole. There are 3 possibilites that i see. 1. Very neurodivergent/different 2. Being too hedonistic 3. Grifting/intentionally farming
You have stated that you are very good with your relationships. However I do think that you have a big blind spot when it comes to these relationships. You claim that you dont care, something that I would for the most part agree with. If we were friends, and I were to make a joke about a family member of yours, I dont think you would care. Its also clear to me that you dont care emotionally about sex. This was very apparent in one of your recent conversations with Aba, where it came out that you had an issue with cheating. Even on Melina. A question to Destiny viewers: Would you be in an open relationship with your wife/girlfriend? The answer I think, would be an obvious "no!" However to those that were to say yes, or if I had to engage in a relationship like this. Most of us would probably fall in on the same trap as Melina. I would NOT want my wife/girlfriend fuck 5 other dudes, by the time I have had sex with 1 woman. Most of the viewers, would once again agree that either it would be a 1:1, or that the particular viewer would get to fuck as many women as possible while their partner would have sex with less people than them.
My point about this, is that youre not emotionally connected to sex, Destiny. It seems like Melina is more on the "normie" side of engaging with sex. Cheating to me, shows a clear issue in a relationship, where the communication have been lacking. Maybe this is something you two didnt talk about properly beforehand? Im not trying to get into you guys' relationship, Im just trying to paint it clear that your emotional connection to sex is out of the ordinary. Even by poly-standards.
Youre a smart dude Destiny, so when i saw your reaction to Brittany talking ill about you, i was shocked. Yes she was in the wrong. No you didnt do anything wrong. I am once again asking for the viewers expertise here. Did Brittany actually surprise any of you? This is a person talking about being introspective, and have a level system for it. For me, that is just cringe. Not evil, not good. Just cringe. I have some internal thoughts about people talking about being enlightened, open minded, and introspective; that makes me not like it. Why? Because I feel like I'm exactly those 3 things, but I also know that I'm 100% not correct about everything I say, and that I dont find it productive to pretend like I do, even if its how I feel internally. Essentially holding onto my ego, but socially keeping it in check.
What else do we know about Brittany? She has multiple times stated that she is mentally ill , to quote one of the things from this link: " A mental illness can make you miserable and can cause problems in your daily life, such as at school or work or in relationships. In most cases, symptoms can be managed with a combination of medications and talk therapy (psychotherapy)." STRIKE 1
Another thing she has mentioned, is her usage of drugs. STRIKE 2 And lastly, she is an online content creator (money incentive). STRIKE 3 3 Strikes! Youre out!
With these things in mind, its very clear to me that this isnt a person that you can trust 100%, and I believe that the other viewers feel the same.
You (Destiny), have stated multiple times that you are good with relationships, and that you enjoy "crazy" people. That is completely fine. However there are times where those relationships have bit you in the ass. When i say bit you in the ass, i of course just mean "have to deal with annoying stupid shit". Examples are Sneako (talking shit about you and your wife), Mr.Girl (power struggles/trying to fuck you over), Ana (mental problems), Lav (idk... shes kinda weird). My experiences with "crazy" people. I have some friends that have crazy friends. One of these guys, is a particularly violent person. Im friendly towards him, and keep my guard up even more than I usually do. Im careful with what sorts of jokes im making, im careful with getting too close with him (friendship wise), because I know that his temper will get him in trouble; and I dont want that. There are certain types of stress I just want to keep out of my life, some because of possible legal reasons, and some because of annoyance/stress they would put on my life. I am fully aware of my close friends issues, and I'm emotionally prepared if their problems will cascade into bigger problems (whether they get depression, financial struggles, relationship struggles, etc.), and make sure I will not get fucked over by their stupidity. I worked way too hard in my life to get where I am, just for someone else to tear it down.
I obviously have some "interesting"/"crazy" friends, and there is nothing wrong with that! My issue with you (Destiny), is that when you say "I dont care", it seems like that is on a verbal and sexual level. Dont care if your wife fucks other people, as long as you get your dick wet. Dont care if people say mean jokes, as long as you can say your mean jokes. When it comes to a relationships though, you seem to care a lot! Friendships means a lot to you, and you form them very quickly/weirdly. My example of this, is when I was younger, and I fell in love with a girl in my class. Did i know her? No. Did i talk to her? No. She was just a cute girl, and I was a shy boy. As I've grown older, I find any sort of crush on people, who you havent even spoken to, to be childish, naive, and asking for trouble. Even if a woman is hot, I still keep my guard up, and try to scout through all possible red flags before I open myself up and give her my emotional affection/care. How much you care for someone emotionally, should be reserved, and given to the person carefully, whether its a close friend, or a girlfriend, the same rules applies.
Thats why i was surprised by your reaction. You were questioning yourself, almost like if you were insane. You couldnt believe what you were hearing, it seemed so surprising to you, like a dagger in your back! If you opened up a tweet and a KKK member spoke ill about black people, would you be surprised? Or if Sneako talked about the jews? Would that make you emotionally react the same way you did on stream about the Brittany sitation?
You emotionally care to a very high extent, and to a level in which I think most of your viewers would find abnormal, considering the person and the friendship. Was it mean of her? Yes. Was it surprising? About as surprising as if i told you "im going to say the word 'fuck' to you within the next 24 hours". Of course it may actually catch you off guard, but it wasnt really a surprise. This is how I feel about people like Brittany. My own reaction to Brittany and friends like her I didnt care, and wouldnt care. Dont get me wrong, it sucks that a friend would do this, but I wouldnt be getting so loud and flustered about it. I wouldnt even question myself. Id say where she was wrong about her points, i would say that shes acting fucking stupid. Internally, thinking about the friendship; I would most likely think that shes going through something troubling (due to the mental illness), and put the friendship on hold. Once shes snapped out of it, I would want her to get on stream and apologize/explain why she was wrong, and then we could be friends again. But... a friendship with a person like this, is not a friendship that you can be yourself 100%.
Ask yourself if you are 100% yourself around your son Nathan. Of course you are being yourself, but youre also being a parent. You dont let your guard down, and youre not surprised if he does some dumb stuff that children do. A parent and a friend/bestfriend, are two completely different things. You bear SO MUCH responsibility being a parent. Making sure that they eat properly, shower, do social things, are productive, and so on. What about a person with down syndrome? Im obviously not comparing your son to a person with down syndrome, rather im comparing Brittany to one due to her background. Do you feel confident that your friend with down syndrome would be able to be more responsible than you? What if you and your friend with down syndrome had to wake up early, catch a flight, talk to someone about something important, and so on. Would you honestly put trust in the person with down syndrome to take charge and help you through all of this, or would you think that the person with down syndrome is a friend; but that you are the more responsible/mature one? Therefore not being as surprised by their actions/lack of actions.
So lets compare this situation to Mr.Mouton or Dan. Would you feel more confident in giving them the power to wake you up early to catch the flight? To have the conversation with a person about something important? I would. I am way more confident in that Dan, Mouton, or Aba (even if the relationship isnt as close) would understand the responsibility and have the maturity to make sure that things are going smooth, rather than someone with a big mental illness. Of course there are people who have mental illnesses who are functioning just fine, but I believe that Brittany have enough red flags, to NOT take her friendship serious, and NOT keep her as close as i would keep Dan for instance.
Sure. Sometimes you dont want boring Dan to talk about the catpiss he collected on his 2nd floor, but that doesnt make him less of a friend, or worse of a friend. One of the amazing things about men (generalizing) is that we can be friends, not speak for two months, but we can still have a good emotional friendship (no shit talking, no back stabbing, etc.). So if you want to explore some "interesting" or crazy people, that is completely cool! Just remember that your real friends that you should have an emotional connection to, are not necessarily the people that are the most interesting people, or the people you talk to the most often.
Where does this lead us? My point is just that you are giving credance and emotional affection to people who dont deserve/need it. Choose your CLOSE friends wisely, and those friends that arent as close, shouldnt give you an emotional reaction, like Brittany did! Friends are friends, but friends come and go. Close friends are like family, and they are eternal. Thats why it hurts when they stab you in the back. If Dan stabbed you in the back, I would 100% understand the emotional reaction. You have to keep in mind that even though this drama may or may not have been a small burden for your significant othefriends, its not fun for them to hear you go apeshit over "drama" like this. It can be stressful/annoying, and over time, that can tear down your relationships with people who actually care about you!
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What about the 3 possibilities...? This is where it gets interesting. The 3 possibilities were 1. Very neurodivergent/different Of course not saying this as an insult, but more so explaining the reality of your friendships. The big emotional reaction? Questioning yourself/your sanity? Talking about it for multiple hours? It was to be expected, or atleast the possibility of it.
If this is the case, then you should really work on the way you say "I dont care" (and with whom you form friendships with). You dont care about sex or insults. However you do care emotionally about friendships, even friendships that are doomed to fail. Is this a hedonistic trait where you choose to get the highest of highs, but also the lowest of lows? Or do you just not understand the social expectations and dynamics with the people you interact with?
2. Being too hedonistic If its not about you being socially unaware, and you say "yes its 100% my hedonistic tendencies" then i dont think that you are "allowed" to get an emotional outburst out of it. Its your stream, so of course you can do whatever you want. My analogy is that youre a stranger on the street, and you want to do a 360 kickflip over something dangerous, I tell you "hey be careful bud" and then you say "i dont care, fuck off" following up with failing the jump, harming yourself, and then screaming in the middle of the street like you just got shot. I understand the pain bro, but you really set yourself up for that. I find it weird that you would start screaming and crying in the middle of street after the failed jump, its not illegal, just a socially and publicly weird thing to do. 3. Grifting/intentionally farming
If im wrong about #1, and also wrong about #2, then this is the last case. You are intentionally overreacting to the drama, and you love it! Its easy content, and easy money! No shame in that BUT! In my opinion, this takes away from the fact that you are "honest" and "my entire life is on the internet!" Youre essentially not being yourself, and playing a persona on stream. Dont get me wrong, I dont expect you to talk to us like you talk to your closest friend/family off stream, but it does give a bad vibe. Example of the vibe I would be getting. Imagine if someone said something racist/homophobic, and i were to really overreact on stream. Going on about it for 3 hours, yelling screaming, but once i go off stream; my friends use all the slurs and i just laugh about it, and I didnt care at all what anyone said. Is that fair? Sure it is. I dont care what anyone says in private, but if you use the slurs excessively in private, then I dont want you to pretend like you have a big issue with it when someone else slips it out in public. Of course this analogy isnt a 1:1, but you get what im saying. It feels very dishonest.
Thank you for reading.

Hey folks! Long-time DM here looking to spice up my encounters a little bit more. My players have never expressed that my encounters are boring in any way, and I do think the monsters I cook up are generally pretty fun, but what I feel like I'm lacking in is the scene around the combat.
A couple examples of the sort of ideas I'm looking for;

• Scenes reminiscent of Indiana Jones or The Hobbit, battling enemies while forced movement carries you along, limiting where you can stand and offering some danger of falling(be it into the water, or off the minecart track!)
• Battling in the middle of a storm, wherein the effect of fire is dampened and lightning-centric abilities will explode into an area-of-effect.
• Interesting battlefield designs that would naturally elevate play by making the players think - with something like this, feel free to suggest any monsters you think would be a great fit!

What sort of interesting combat scenes have you guys come up with? Any links to external lists of good ideas would be great as well! I did my prerequisite google searching but came up with nothing. Cheers!

My ex and I stopped seeing each other in January of 2022 after about 10 months of dating. We stopped dating because of religion. She and her family were religious, I was not. That seemed to be what she was looking for at the time (idk if this is still the case or not, I presume it is). I did no contact for about 7 months, so I reached out to catch up and just be friendly -- our breakup was not messy by any means (she was an important part of my life and my first gf). She would message me on instagram here and there after that but we didn't really talk so much. At the time, I was traveling for about a year she messaged me again while I was traveling and it turned into us talking and reconnecting again. We would talk on the phone for hours, fall asleep on facetime together, sext, you name it. At a certain point, it felt like we were talking just as much as we were when we were together, if not more.
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This went on for about 2 months straight while I was traveling. After about 2 months our conversations waned down and this was also around the time I returned to the US and am back in the same city as her - we have not communicated since.
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Her Birthday is coming up and I am conflicted on what I want to do. On one hand, I want to be the romantic I am at heart and send her flowers, dress up, and go to a nice dinner -- but maybe that's too intense. Perhaps I just send the flowers or invite her to a coffee (we haven't seen each other in person for over 1 year). I'm also curious where she stands. Is she still only after religious guys, is she not? She also found a religious guy who she dated after me and she told me he ended up abusing her.
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Secondly, I'm worried about the consequences of doing something like this. I've had pretty hard time getting over the break-up. I've thought about her almost every day since. When we were talking and facetiming over the past couple months was finally when I had stopped tripping over her.
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I don't know what I want and I don't know what my expectations are. For 1, I do like her as a person but I also recognize that the girl I knew is not for me, we are quite different individuals but a good couple if that makes sense? I also don't even know if I'll be staying in this city and living here in about a week. When we were facetiming she had asked me what my feelings are around dating in general and if I'm looking to date again (in general) and I said that's a conversation for in-person, lol.
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Anyways, I am looking for advice for those of you wiser than me.
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TL;DR: My ex and I broke up because of religion. Went no contact for nearly a year, we started talking again almost every day for the past 2 months. Her birthday is coming up and I don't know what to do

Do you guys like skins that cover your fall guy's whole body or odd cosmetics like backpacks. While there are really good skins, I personally use more odd cosmetics as for the skins you have to wear the whole set to not look weird where as is backpacks,shoes etc you can mix and match and make a really unique combination.

This happened in my neighborhood in Falls Church near Annandale road and Route 50 so if you live in the area, heads up. My mother and I were in our yard taking our dogs out at approximately 2:45am when we heard someone running down the street at a very quick pace. We thought it was a late night jogger until we saw that he had a hoodie on with the hood up and his face was completely covered with a mask. He passed us as he ran down the street, stopped, then turned around to our direction, putting his hand in his pocket as he walked toward us. Our dogs barking must have spooked him as he then turned and ran down a different street. It was very dark so we only have a basic description: thin male, approximately 5'5, hoodie, baggy pants (possibly sweatpants), and his face was completely covered.
I'm the type that thinks of all possibilities before coming to a conclusion. This guy was up to no good and there is no doubt about that in my mind. If my dogs weren't barking he would've come into our yard. Please stay safe out there.

Hey guys! Does anyone know any discord servers or groups for upcoming graduate students for Fall 23?

So I had contractors in today to check out our crawl space for replacing the two furnaces down there. (Fun side note, the furnaces are on the far side of the framing and sewer pipe from the crawl space access, so that’ll be awesome.)
Anyway, I went down there tonight to try and get some details on the furnaces so I can under stand what is being replaced. But I’m way too big to get to where they are.
What I did see is this junction box hanging down and open.
https://imgur.com/a/6KSAhmu
I’m not sure what it powers besides the hot water circulation pump in the other photo, but following wires as best I could, it looks like the crawl space lights are also connected to the box.
When I tried to shove the box closed without actually taking a good look first, I had my other hand on the hot water heater and got a good zap. I did it a second time without my other hand on another giant piece of metal and got arcing and a puff of smoke in the box. Mercifully, that didn’t get worse. Did I mention I’m home alone with my 5 year old twins while my wife is on a business trip? And she said don’t go down there tonight.
I left it as it is, took the photos and then shut down what I believe is that circuit at the breaker box. Do I have immediate life safety issues to worry about? I’m actually a bit paranoid about going to sleep at the moment.
And then what? As you might guess this isn’t home repair territory for me. Judging by the mess inside the junction box, someone did a crap job putting that wiring in originally and I don’t think this happened from the contractors accidentally yanking it. But I also don’t recall ever seeing it hanging down like that and feel like I would have noticed. Plus home inspector was down there in 2020 and would have cited it. Would it just fall down off the wall at some point?
Do I call the plumbeHVAC guys to make sure they can also deal with the hot water pump at the same time? What is the useful life on those things anyway? The hot water heaters were replaced in 2020 by previous owners but the receipt doesn’t say anything about the circulation pump. That would likely put the pump at 24 to 41 years old.
Or an Electrician? I really miss my last landlord some days. Nice guy and he’d bring fresh fish over after being out on his boat. No one’s bringing me any fish today.
Thanks in advance for trying to help me sort this mess.

I'm going through the motions right now because my best friend and his pregnant wife are moving away, and he doesn't know that I love him. This is my story of him and my developing feelings.
I'm 20M and so is my best friend of 5 years. Fresh out of different middle schools, we first met in late August of 2018 as 15 year olds, at our high-school's football field for freshman football orientation. After the meeting was over, they welcomed the new members with a shit ton of pizza. That's when I spotted this cute guy. He was average height (maybe 5'7" to 5'10"), had glasses, a left earring, well kept stubble, straight dirty blonde hair, and he was lean. A slight tummy, but that's what made him even cuter.
Time passes, we knew of each other's names and existences, but we weren't friends. Not until 3rd quarter of sophomore year, early 2020, that's when he walks into class and sees me reading the novelization of Spider-Man 3. We bond over Spider-Man 3 really quick because we were in this class to finish late work.
3rd quarter of Junior year, early 2021, I finally had a class with him. Being a late 17 year old with a job, bills and an education to attend to, I started to fall down the rabbit hole of depression, not eating, not sleeping, not much interest in anything. I started to get aggressive in class, and he knew this was unlike me, so we started talking as friends. We eventually started leaving class with a few other guys to smoke a blunt because I had just gotten my license.
From January 2021 to April 2021, everytime we hung, we just drove around all night with music, a fat bag of weed, many ways to smoke it, and plenty of munchies. But it was beyond getting high, hating school and loving Spider-Man. I started to develop feelings because in turn, he was the first person I ever opened myself up to, discussed problems, our pasts, our lives. We were like brothers.
I left school when I turned 18 and got an apartment a month later to pursue work full-time so I could just pay for my GED. Having a best friend and apartment to yourself is cool, but I was still struggling with thoughts of suicide. Didn't know when I slept or ate, as long as I saw my friend, everything was bliss. This is when most of our visits got really introspective, because we finally had a place to just sit and chill at, not jusy driving around all night long. He told me that before we became friends, he thought I was a weird guy, but with a pure heart.
Eventually, everything comes to a stop one late night in August of 2021. I swallow two whole bottles of melatonin and acetaminophen to kill myself. Then there was an ambulance, then hospital, then psych ward, then release, then life continued. It wasn't until a year later he revealed to me on Snapchat that he was the one who called the cops and saved my life, "I love you, man, I can't live without my spider bro." This is when I figured out I truly loved him, too. Maybe just a tad more than he realized.
Fast foward to now, we're both 20, and he's moving 70 miles away with his pregnant wife to get their lives started. A few nights ago, I was listening to "Heart of Glass" by Blondie while closing up the movie theater I work at, he snaps me, asking for help moving stuff. I said, "Of course, you helped save my life, I'll be the final push to get yours started."
He replies, "I love you, man. Never forget that." I just break down into a sobbing mess. The fact that "Heart of Glass" was playing made me cry even harder.
I used to not like his girlfriend, then she became his pregnant girlfriend, then she became his pregnant wife. I decided to hash it out with myself, asking myself if I truly love him. I said yes, so I then told myself, "If you really love him, you'll let him be happy with his wife and kid on the way. He deserves it."
So, that's where you come in. Should I confess my feelings and hope he understands? Or just keep my little fantasy buried? He does go to church, but he's not a bible thumper "praying the gay away". He knows I'm Pan and there's a trans girl in our friend group, so he is supportive, just not into that.
I don't know, I just had nobody to confess this too. If you read this far, thank you for doing so. Enjoy yourselves.

Next up in my reviews is a season I knew as soon as I landed on it was one with a lot of negative feedback and opinions and was curious as to why. And after watching it, I both understand and also found myself going "Why is this so hated?!". I know the timing of it, being after a classic then and now in TAR history and being right before the next one aired, didn't help. A few good changes made to the format, as this was the first season to require teams to split the roadblocks evenly after we saw just in the season before this the massive advantage all-male or coed teams had as compared to all-female teams since they just had the guy do every roadblock. Also, they limited the number of yields, though why you would have a yield on a non-elimination leg is confusing to me. Another thing which was new for me was a clip show in the middle of the season, and it struck me as odd til I read after I watched the season that they had to make a sudden change to the plan, which was going to be leg 6 being a non-elimination point where the last place team would lose their money. But they found out way too late that begging is illegal in Hungary, which turned the non-elimination leg into a superleg instead (the way that went did seem kind of odd, this explains it). They also visited Sri Lanka mere weeks before it was devastated by a massive earthquake/tsunami, that had to be jarring for the teams that went there, they film this weeks later and they would have been there during that. One nickname for this season was 'The season of love' because of how many couples were in the race, though it is most remembered for several controversial and TBH abhorrent actions and statements which earned a ton of backlash then and even to this day. One of the last seasons before social media really began to take off as a big deal which would make these actions and words infinitely more devastating if they had occurred in the age of Twitter, Instagram and Facebook, which also maybe in a way makes this one of the last uncorrupted seasons where we see these teams as their truest selves and not an image they want to project and protect online. I DON'T see this as a bad season, I actually see it as one of the better ones honestly. But exactly how good? Let's see....
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Freddy/Kendra - The maligned winners of the season, though not for anything they did in the race, unless you count him flipping out after the fence crashed down on his face (if you saw his face in the days after, you realized he took a massive shot with a heavy steel gate though, ouch!). That whole segment was chaos; all those teams ran to the board in such a frantic way that they tackled the damn thing to the ground and sent the numbers flying everywhere, that is awesome competition IMO. They were a solid team the first few legs and then became a true contender once out of Senegal. Speaking of Senegal, after they have to go to a graveyard, in the middle of the night, in a third world country in a sketchy area, she talks of not feeling safe (which I think was understandable, sense of humor from the producers taking them from Scandinavia to this) and then later on in the leg: "This city is retched and disgusting. They just keep breeding and breeding and breeding! And this poverty, I can't take it!". And upon leaving and going to Germany: "It's a big difference from ghetto third world.". I found myself saying "Oh god woman, please just zip it, you're not helping your image here". And with that, they were cancelled, except this was before cancel culture, though it was not something which went over well obviously. Later on, upon going back to Africa, she referred to it as third world and ghetto again but said it was a poverty they seemed to like. Ugh, you're trolling right? I get the hate she gets, lots of snobbery and stupid statements, but I stop short of calling her racist. I live in a very narrowminded area of the US, I have seen and heard true racism, this wasn't racism nearly as much as it was elitism, classism and ignorance on her part. That doesn't make it right, still deplorable comments, but not everything is racism. She said postrace: "I was actually talking about the government and how they put people in these situations. They don’t give them opportunities for education or birth control.", which is true for a good deal of Africa TBH but that is a convo for a whole other subreddit and I didn't really buy it from her either, but a good excuse FWIW. Anyway, we got a perfect night and day comparison at the detour in Ethiopia at the mud huts; Freddy injures and bloodies his finger, and she is concerned and wants him to get it checked out, Victoria injures her hand and Jonathan completely ignores her cries of pain, earning yells from Kendra to check on his wife. And that whole segment earned some brownie points from me, as it showed her to not be this evil wench who looked down on everyone (kudos to the producers). She got major stomach issues not long after, and already had her dormant asthma pop up earlier, so this team suffered for their win. In the end, they survived a yield (which was so stupid of Adam/Rebecca and maybe cost them the race in hindsight) and win based on just getting a slightly earlier flight than Kris/Jon. Very divisive winners I know, but they were deserving ones, though not the best team of the season as that honor goes to either Hayden/Aaron or Kris/Jon. I know they went ahead and got married and had a few kids, but are now divorced sadly.
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Kris/Jon - Are they the best team ever to not win the race? Maybe, their composite average score is insane, and they were almost never in danger of elimination, 4 1st places, 4 other 2nd places. And in a season of tons of internal romantic strife, they were the one couple who got along great and they were just long distance dating. Saw they attended Hayden and Aarons wedding and they did indeed wind up getting married and have 2 sons, so they really were what you saw on there, a perfect match. I loved this team; they made it a mission to run it as just them as a team and no massive alliance or reliance on others, they said they wanted to run it the right way and unlike a few other teams I have heard say that, they really did. You saw he was infatuated with her several times, one that sticks out to me was when she was doing the salt roadblock where they had to go into the water and bring these heavy buckets of salt to shore and you couldn't surgically remove his smile seeing her stripped down and soaking wet as she was powering through this (and then the producers did a slo-mo on her lolol, they definitely knew they had a very photogenic female cast this season just saying). But he proved it wasn't just her being hot, he really had a love for her (as we can tell by now obviously). All throughout the race, they were very composed and didn't argue, in Sri Lanka they got a blessing of sorts from a monk and point out they are religious, but in another reason why I loved them there was no judgment or yapping about how their religion was the right one (seen that a few times) or proceeding to bring up their faith about 300 times afterwards. Some of that is thanks to editing, but let's face it, if they had been like that it would have been included. It was a shock to see them actually get pissed when in China due to repeated bad taxi drivers (was very common there, as I'll mention with another team) and he actually just tosses money at one in anger). But at this point, with how few teams are left and how long they've been going and how far they have already traveled, fatigue has to have set in. It's pretty obvious just looking at them at the start of the next leg, they were worn out with bags under the eyes and drooped faces, all of them were. It really showed just how taxing this show is without even saying a word or doing anything. How sad that they lose in large part due to a train crossing in Chicago keeping them from maybe chasing Freddy and Kendra down, that and taking a later by minutes flight out of Hawaii. Their reaction in real time as they are paused at the train tracks was truly an epitome of sweet, as they just take it in stride and kiss, thankful for each other (bravo to the producers for capturing that and the camera work, talk about award-worthy, did this season win an Emmy?). I think a lot of the negative reaction to the season would have been nonexistent if they had won.
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Adam/Rebecca - What a mess they were. Always at odds, more often than not closer to the bottom than the top and yet they made it all the way to the final. She started off stupid by putting diesel fuel in a non-diesel car but rebounded from that to take charge of the team, almost to the point of her just doing everything by herself and completely excluding him, mainly due to him being utterly worthless, screwing up everything he touches and being scared of doing anything. He lost his mind on her and like a child, said he would never talk to her again... over his sunglasses. And when he isn't being worthless, he is threatening to off himself in a passive-aggressive way to get her to not stop being in a relationship with him or whining he wants to quit and go home, he really earned her nickname of 'wussy boy' for him (if the fact that he had his mom clip his toenails for him still when they met hadn't already done so). Can you blame her for saying she wanted their relationship to be done because he makes her miserable? She really seemed inspired to this decision upon seeing Hayden/Aaron and Kris/Jons relationships, that's what a relationship should be and not whatever they had, and she was right to be fed up with their toxicity together. Not surprised they officially were broken up not long after the race. In spite of all that, they legitimately could have won if they hadn't taken so long at the key roadblock in China, as if they had finished sooner they could have gotten on the same flights as the other finalists from China to Hawaii and then we could have had the most unlikely winners for me since the Beekman Boys. And she was guilty of controversy herself, also involving Africa: "I'd love to get out of Africa. I can see why so many people escaped.". This was as they were on their way to the House of Slaves in Senegal... Yeah, they weren't escaping, they were captured and taken. Dunce cap fits well on you, though once again I don't see it as racism, just ignorance.
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Hayden/Aaron - The actors, who were my initial pick to win it all (going with the team that wins the first leg, really going out on a limb there I know). They stood out to me immediately as a threat though, and not just cause she was at times falling or popping out of her shirt 😜 (WHAT? I can't be the only one who noticed, I'm a sick pervy man like all the rest, sue me later lol). But it was apparent early on they were very opposite in terms of approach to the race and overall personality; she is very much someone who feels all the stress and takes everything dead serious and important, he is relaxed "We'll just go with the flow" and as a couple that works a lot better than as a team in a race. In retrospect, her nagging and seriousness went up in intensity after they fell from the front to the back due to someone telling them the wrong time the town hall tower opens in Scandinavia and later their vehicle breaking down and also missing an exit in Hungary. But they loved each other, pretty obvious in spite of her nagging (which she fessed up to being a fault of hers) and his occasional teasing of said nagging. As they got to China, I had them pegged as a finalist for sure and then they had the day from hell. Everything that could go wrong went wrong for them all on the same leg; their taxi driver goes the complete wrong way TWICE, TWO SEPARATE OCCASIONS. And then at the key roadblock, her key breaks in one of the locks and she has to go and get another one and then after a lengthy battle with it, once the third team got it she just gave up and took the 4 hour penalty cause she knew it was over, just a complete hell leg to end all hell legs. They were both to blame for the elimination here; the frustration and frantic nature of hers got out of control while he was just too chill about it all, she knew their taxi driver was a dumbass the first time and he was just like "Let it play out" and they just got more lost. They finally get to their destination and... he goes and has them get with the same driver as before, who gets them lost again! Anyway, the anger from both of them was real, he almost tosses his bag off the mountain but then she breaks down and his anger subsides and he just holds her, all the emotion crashing down on them at that point. But the big story is, they go to the pitstop with the exes, resigned to their fate, get eliminated, and then... he drops to one knee and proposes to her! WOW. Apparently, he had been planning to do this at the end of the race all along, though it was hoped by him to be at the finish line as the winners, she accepts and there is Rebecca watching this all heart-eyed and you know she is envious, since she has expressed earlier that she wanted the type of relationship that they and Kris/Jon have, which is what was a big part of the issues she had with her partner, more award-worthy material here on the season of love lol. And in retrospect, his relaxed attitude towards the race, stating there is stuff much more important than money when she asked him if he even wanted to win, the signs were all there that he had ulterior motives for being on here. And at last check, they got their happily ever after, marrying with Kris/Jon in attendance and Kristy as a bridesmaid and they have 2 kids. Awwww.
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Lori/Bolo - Not the first pro wrestlers I have seen, though in this case I don't have any idea who they are (there are lots of independent promotions out there, not everyone is on TV, not even close). They were immediately entertaining, wrestling on a glacier in Iceland was something I certainly wouldn't have been able to not watch lol. I know it looked like there was major temper issues with how they talked to each other, her moreso, and I don't doubt there was some temper but as a wrestling fan I recognized a lot of it as wrestling promo style talking. He was the reason for them getting so far, he was such the never give up type. In Germany was where it shined, she was so negative and he refused to believe they were done despite being at the back of the pack, never stopped trying and they wound up catching up and getting out of last place. Even got to 1st place after a fastforward and for a bit I thought they had a chance at least to make it to the end, but they made the common mistake of not reading the whole clue in Sri Lanka and she wound up having to come all the way back down to get what she needed and boy did she rip him a new one for that, which was sad cause they were both to blame. Seeing this massive guy be so dejected that Kris even came over and comforted him, which out of context is funny to see someone so big being comforted, was sad. I am glad that once they were officially out, she emphasized that they had their differences and got on each other, but she saw him as the love of her life and was thankful to have him. Found out afterwards that he had been in the military at one point, and that actually fit. Beyond that, I know nothing of their lives after the race.
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Jonathan/Victoria - Oh boy, oh boy. Here we go; the 'stars' of the season and not for anything good. And a reason a lot of people cried foul over this season, which as someone who has sadly been in a home with domestic violence and also seen it happen to a few friends I completely get, as it was quite triggering for me too. Immediately, you get 'off' vibes from this guy as he proudly states "I'm a dictator". Also immediately, you see that the other teams are not at all comfortable with them, with him specifically, and that just grows as the season progresses (who knows what they witnessed with this team?). He is constantly screaming at and berating his wife. The guys massive ego is always present, from his habit of taking his shirt off constantly and even stripping almost completely in Ethiopia because... no fucking idea actually, to actually congratulating and praising himself out loud or bragging about owning a Ferrari and acting like he's some Hollywood mega producer, the next Bruckheimer right here. He shoves her early on, which seems to be overlooked for the later event, he yells at one of the female roomies and makes her cry, he screams at the exes to stop following him, he yells at musicians at a roadblock. Whether she meant to or not, she is giving away that this guy abuses her with a classic line about how she knows how to stay out of his way. And then, in Berlin (which, if you look back at it is possibly one of the most controversial episodes ever along with the preceding episode due to this as well as comments from Kendra and Rebecca), in a footrace to the finish line she dared to pick up his bag and was freaking out (probably in fear knowing what he would do to her) and they don't finish first as a result of her falling way back due to carrying both their bags, and he very angrily shoves her. Remember we had already seen him push her before, he had actually reared back like he was gonna hit her once or twice as well, this was the cherry on the sundae of not just them but an ugliness-filled episode (which I believe is the main reason for all the negativity about this season overall). From what I have found digging into it deeper, Phil did not actually see the shove happen, though he knew from his anger and her tears upon reaching the mat that something bad was going on. At this point, I legit asked myself "At what point does the show step in?", cause he is obviously unstable, obviously abuses her (more than once you see her with bruises in various places, which further angered me), I know it's Reality TV but when do you say enough and stop the madness? He continued his antics afterwards, throwing papers at and berating a travel agent, pestering Gus incessantly over taking "his" flight, goes off on a taxi driver so much they kick him out. She is acting pretty insane herself at this point, always screeching like a banshee and making excuse after excuse for him. They are finally eliminated in Ethiopia when their combined psychosis caused them to misread the clue and have to go back. Holy shit, and it doesn't end there with these 2. They both went on Dr Phil, and also on Fear Factor where they both got eliminated after she punched another contestant for taunting her and then when the host scolds her, Jonathan attacks him, WTF! And dear god, they had a baby, that poor kid. They divorced in 2010, he has since remarried and apparently has custody of their kid, IDK what the hell is going on with her but she is obviously fit for a padded cell, or at least was at the time. He always was and likely still is. I mean, she had a voice which could crack glass at times, she was no angel, but this was a textbook case of battered wife and it was frustrating and painful to watch, I found myself seeing this as a tale of 2 seasons almost, before and after this ultimate dysfunctional couple, as I found the second half without them a lot more enjoyable. This wasn't an entertaining villain story; this was a deadly serious potential tragedy waiting to happen with this guys frame of mind and not just with her but other contestants as well. Fighting is one thing; this was so much more than fighting and IDK if the network thought it was entertainment for all to witness spousal abuse but if they did, they deserved some major backlash. Hopefully Phil didn't see this happen, cause if he did and just played it off that would definitely alter my opinion of him in a bad way.
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Gus/Hera - Alarm bells rang for me with them instantly due to him trying to forge some big alliance to eliminate everyone one by one ("NOOOOOOO!!!"), but then he turned out to be mediocre and one of his chosen allies was the first eliminated and that went out the window. This was not a team that was meant to last long, there was no reason they should have lasted so long, and they were one of the most confounding teams I have witnessed, as they somehow finished in the front of the pack more than once. I really don't get how; between him being really out of shape, his asshole talk of "My daughter will always obey me, my way is the only way" as their approach to the race and him chiding her for driving too fast and to let all the other teams pass them, you do know this is a race right? And he gave off hints of having a drinking problem in Berlin too; they have that detour with the beer and he keeps stopping and taking swigs of beer, even when they succeed at it, he wants to stay, in the middle of the fucking leg, so he can drink more beer. It would certainly explain his massive gut if he did have one. When they got eliminated, at least we got him finally viewing his daughter as a friend and equal. Some darkness postrace though, as years later her infant son died, and the father of the baby was charged with murder. Damn.
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Don/Mary Jean - The elder sweethearts of the season. I admit I was salty over them being there longer than the Mormon sisters, but they were not awful people or anything. They stated from the start they knew they would have to rely on smarts to succeed and survive, cause there was no chance they would be able to compete physically (which I'm sure they realized even more when they saw models and pro wrestlers among their competition lol), and they never did TBH, lots of bonehead mistakes. Early on, he just takes charge and doesn't listen to his wife (lots of that this season with guys and their female partners, maybe another reason for the bad rap this season has) but they work that out; though they admitted postrace that a lot of their conflicts were not shown, so it wasn't all lovey-dovey. And then, right out of a detour, they take Adam/Rebeccas car by accident. If you could have seen my face when that happened, I was almost as freaked out as Rebecca was lol. And Mary Jean didn't want to go back originally! Little question: what would have happened if they just said fuck it and went to the pitstop in their vehicle? Or if they had gone back and Rebecca/Adam had already left in their car or someone else's? And if it had been someone else's, would all the teams have just wound up in the wrong car? Would Phil and the producers just halt everything and say "ENOUGH! Let's try this again and this time make sure to take your vehicles only"? The possibilities make me laugh to think about. Anyway, seeing him cry cause he loved and respected his wife so much at the salt detour, as she had to take on the muscle-aching task since he got sick on the fishing boat prior, was the type of love to aspire for (I'm a sap, I know), plus seeing the locals give her a round of applause for succeeding at it (meanwhile, much younger and fitter Adam is squealing and crying like a toddler doing it SMH). They couldn't get out of their own way though with all the mistakes and came in last twice in a row, no surviving that. Sadly, old Don passed away last year. One real funny moment for me; them being caught in the middle of the fight at an airport between Hayden/Aaron/Freddy/Kendra and the wrestlers, they're all yelling at each other with the actors and wrestlers in front of them and the models right behind them and they just have this look on their face which says "I don't want to be involved in this, we've already raised our kids and have no interest in being parents to little kids again, which is how you're acting so please stop". I rewatched that a few times, cause as a body language observer you could read this is what was their dominant thought 😆
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Lena/Kristy - This one here is something which is in the annals of TAR history due to how they went out, which also pissed me off TBH. Early on, I thought they could go a long way, as they seemed to have good enough heads on their shoulders and were aware of certain things (they seemed to be among the first who deduced something was seriously wrong with Jonathan). They struggled in leg 2 due to going the wrong way to the detour before turning around and surviving, and they were a frontrunner in the next leg when they hit the hay bale detour. And they never left said detour. What a herculean effort by Lena; 8+ hours, approximately 100 bales of hay pushed and undone, and they never found the clue, never gave up and Phil had to come out and tell them they were eliminated. This kind of pissed me off, this wasn't a test of skill or speed, it was essentially a game of luck which eliminated them and honestly, especially considering a few legs later they had to merge 2 legs into 1 mega leg, they should have called another audible and made this a non-elimination cause they didn't finish last thru any fault of their own and were just victims of chance. Not to mention holy shit the work she put in there, no hysterics, no yelling or tantrums, she just kept going even when they knew it was over. They deserved to continue, and they deserved a second chance which they unfortunately never got. Found out afterwards that Kristy was a single mom of an 8 year old at the time and had recently moved to Denmark, since then she got married and expanded her family, plus she was a bridesmaid for Hayden and Aaron, I have no clue about Lena. They are in the history books though thanks to one of the most infamous roadblocks ever.
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Meredith/Maria - I liked them, get that out of the way first. But they sucked at this, sorry. In Iceland, they damn near go all the way to the next destination before realizing "Oops, we missed a clue". They then couldn't drive worth a damn in Norway, one of them broke down crying because of verbal abuse from cokehead Jonathan, they were crap at the detour and finish last despite one team just ahead of them getting a 30 minute penalty and another going the wrong damn way to the pitstop for a while. Nice girls, great friends, but they did almost nothing good in terms of racing sad to say.
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Avi/Joe - Nice knowing you lol. I actually was a bit surprised they were the first ones gone, one of them boasting in the intro how super-competitive he is and will run over anyone to win actually cost them in the end, as they didn't believe Gus/Hera when they said where the pitstop was and wasn't because he was so sure they were being screwed with. Not a ton more to say about them, but the only all-male team being the first elimination was maybe a harbinger of this being the season of couples lol.
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So, I for the most part loved this season. Sorry to those who hated it, but I found the general lack of drama and hate between teams, as well as lack of alliances, so refreshing. It didn't lack drama though, as it all occurred within the teams, which I know was a downside for some critics. Lots of romantic relationship squabbles, at times you felt like Dr. Phil or Dr. Drew could have dropped in with these teams issues and it would have felt right at home lol. And I'm not naive enough to think that the statements and actions of a certain few contestants didn't cloud the judgement of some when it comes to this season, and I get it. But the path, while somewhat stifled at times, was a good one regardless; with trips to Iceland, Scandinavia, Ethiopia, Sri Lanka, a Mediterranean French island, China and Hawaii all being gorgeous trips (camping on top of a glacier? That church dug hundreds of feet into the ground in Ethiopia? Anything Hawaii? The mountain in China? Awesome!). There are some big negatives though to take into account and they are obvious ones; Jonathan and Kendra to pinpoint 2 specific people. His repeated actions of flatout domestic abuse was so tough to watch, and yes it is domestic abuse when you're shoving and smacking at your wife (and bruises were visible on her at times) and that doesn't even take the psychological torment he dished out. And the fact that none of the producers stepped in when it was so obvious and public is similar to them letting the cowboys many seasons later get away with blatant homophobia and homophobic bullying, which is a tough pill to swallow. And Kendras repeated classist takes on Africa, whether they were taken out of context or edited in such a way to make her look as awful as possible or not, were another black eye on this show, though I have already explained that I don't think she was saying it from a race viewpoint as much as classist and ignorant of those who live under less idyllic conditions. This is in the upper echelon for me thanks to a litany of teams I could get behind at least somewhat, the 'villains' being ousted at the halfway mark and a true sense of every team for themselves. And from a shallow perspective, we have to point out how photogenic the cast was this season with lots of attractive people (maybe my favorite group of women overall based on looks alone 🔥🔥) which I have to point out that if you look into their backgrounds you realize certain info was excluded from the tv presentation to avoid people going "How obvious what you looked at when casting". Hayden/Aaron were not the only actors, as Rebecca was one too and Victoria had a little experience there along with being a Playboy Playmate. And it being a very up for grabs season helped as well, as once it got to 6 teams, I legitimately said to myself "All of these teams can win this" and would be deserving too (though not necessarily make me happy in every instance). But those big negatives take it down a few pegs, seriously if Jonathan wasn't in this or had been eliminated earlier that probably gets it an extra .25 - .50 points alone lol. And that final stretch was the laziest and worst one I have yet to see; to determine the winner of a million dollars you have to... take a subway train to a tower and then eat a small pizza?! If that was all you were gonna do, you should have just ended it in Hawaii or China. It sucks that this season gets such a bad rap for the actions of a few (don't throw the baby out with the bathwater to borrow an old phrase), cause it is a great one filled with eye-popping locales, wall-to-wall competition from start to finish (the final teams looked so exhausted at the end, you could tell by that and their extremely easy frustration the final few legs they had been in a tight race and not one they were cruising through at any point) and a lot of good all-around teams who, while they have flaws as people are generally inoffensive (save for 1 or 2 certain ones), plus are great to look at (they had to swim across that pool in Sri Lanka for what reason other than to get these beautiful people to strip down and get soaked at the pitstop when they easily could have just stepped on the mat lol, another classic sight was seeing 3 teams all jump in there at the same time, competition is awesome!) so even if they frustrate you could just enjoy on mute lolol. I give this season a 4 out of 5, and it would be maybe my 2nd favorite season only behind S5 were it not for the ugliness of Jonathan/Victoria as well as Kendra, plus the worst final leg ever.
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Damn, this is a long post, my apologies for the lengthy read but I had a lot to say about this one.
Ratings:
S5 - 4.75/5
S15 -4.5/5
S13 - 4.5/5
S6 - 4/5
S1 - 3.75/5
S27 - 3.5/5
S25 - 3.25/5
S21 - 3.25/5
S23 - 3.25/5
S2 - 3/5
S19 - 2.5/5
S29 - 2.5/5
S16 - 1.75/5
S32 - 0.25/5

Hi guys, I’m an upcoming Fall 23 student at UFL for MSCS. Can someone plz confirm the cost per credit and number of credits required to graduate ?

I really couldn't get into the scene of Tech falling because all I could think about is how he'll come back eventually. When Hemlock showed his glasses, to me that was all but confirmed.
Like Echo survived getting blown up. If Hemlock the crazy scientist guy got close enough to grab his glasses you just know Tech was taken and kept alive with machines and science magic. At the worst he's gonna be a brain in a jar when the Batch gets to him but he'll still be alive in some way.
The fact that it could totally happen because a similar thing already happened in the series negates all emotional impact for me, and in the end it'll be like for Crosshair and Echo: one character is missing for a while, other characters are sad but then it'll just go back to the plot of the episode and then we'll see the missing character again.

In the most typical sense I think you only fall in love once. For whatever reason we cannot be together ever but I know love. That magical feeling where you lie in his arms and just fall asleep so quickly. That one look that just makes you warm and smushy inside. The place where you want to be the best version of yourself. The one with whom you can cry your heart out. I know all of this and i think I can never ever fall in love.
We have to be apart. He is so talented good looking and handsome, women are fawning all over him. Giving him hints and asking him why is he single. I believe it's me ! But I hate it. I yearn for the clean break so many have achieved where there is no love in between them anymore and they have moved on. But now I am a 30 yr old female and people look at me like I am a piece of waste. My parents, siblings everyone. The fall from grace has been out there for everyone to see. Chronically depressed and hiding it from everyone. The pain of realising one day he will choose amongst those women is so excruciating for me and that I will be a silent bystander , just sending him a hey congratulations! And that he will get to live his happy life! Well that's the only thing that cheers me up. That there are many women out there, also because women in general are so good, so I am happy for the women as well that a good guy is available! Lol trying to make my pain alleviate with these stupid stories. But the pain doesn't stop. The insomnia that his arms wrapped around me would just disappear isn't going anywhere anymore.
I was contemplating writing this here. But the pain inside me is just so much that if i don't pour it out it will eat me ! His smile God dammit. His stupid puns. There is not a single time when I don't laugh at his stupid puns. Like wtf who makes jokes like that. He is and always will be the best thing to happen to me. I am ill and he knows how bad things are and he insisted on coming to check on me. He did check on me and left. Maintaining the decorum. But his smell. He doesn't smell! Like even after a day of office, he doesn't smell.
I have loved and been loved and I think I will live my life with happiness. I hope I do find love ! But for now I take consolation on the fact that atleast I know what it's like to be loved so much.
For all you people out there ! There are people who know what true love is. But everyone is so afraid to be vulnerable. It's like an ego fight on who breaks down first. I hope y'all do find ever lasting love. One can hope !

As I write this I’m laying awake can’t fall asleep. This pain I feel isn’t coming from our breakup we had our that I miss when it’s not even close. Through my post history you can see the progress of everything and what I’ve been through. Abuse physical, emotional, verbal, etc. recently I’ve been on a good stretch for myself. Getting back into the gym, going on hikes, hanging with my friends more, going to concerts alone, planning a vacation trip for homies to visit me, and yet today I relapsed. As I don’t care for social media and I only use it for one purpose to get roommates, I unblocked her account and stalked her. I know this is unhealthy and terrible but I don’t know what the urge came from. And now what I see tremendously hurt. After being together for 2 years and only being broken up after 7 months and not seeing each other and her begging for me.. and now she’s in a relationship with someone else. That doesn’t pain me.
It pains me that I’ve been lied to the whole time I’ve known her in my life. She painted herself to be this great person, caring, affectionate, empathic, etc. She pulled on my heart harder than any women ever has. The memories, the photos, the trips, the countless times goofing off, or doing shit I’m not supposed to at work. And now I’m stuck living alone trying to rebuild what she broke in me. I was such a caring, understanding man who would give up anything for her. I only ever asked for respect from her. Yet I was blinded by the “love” she gave me.
I wish I never unblocked her to brought more pain to myself while she gets to live this happy life…
I will find my happiness, hopefully it’s soon, I don’t wanna stay up all night like how I used to.
For how much I talked about improving to others and get here I am failing my own advice.. Such a fuck up I am

I only vaguely remember this so can’t be too much help but if it rings any bells I’d appreciate it.

We went out.
Me, Jackie, Ron, Nazz and Mike.
I didn’t really feel like going but due to social pressure and all that, I went with it. And they kinda decided to kidnap me, telling my mom that I needed to relax before the finals, and she agreed … idiot.
There was a big carnival going on, roller coasters, cotton candy, fucking clowns for some reason, and all those 1960's creepy-ass games. I didn't get the clowns though, but God forbid I had a good night. Jackie was kind of a sugar junkie, and she liked to do her puppy eyes on me to buy her sweets in College and in general, but I guess I also needed a bit of energy so we went to buy enough garbage food for the group and then, Mike started screaming like an idiot, he had beat the record for the hammer game, gave him enough tickets to buy some sword, looked like a gladiator type but I couldn’t bother to pay attention. After all that Ron wanted to go on a ride in the roller coaster, I immediately said no, I wasn't about to shit my pants in front of all these idiots, so they handed me their stuff and went.
A tall, old man approached me, hunched over, but still handsome, white hair, all combed back, comically well dressed for someone walking around in a carnival, like he was going to attend the Oscars or something. He asked me why I didn't go with my friends… I felt a bit awkward… so, I just said that I didn’t felt like going. He then said that I should enjoy life, because once I get old like him, I might not get the chance, and went off… as he went, I noticed that he had a wedding ring. I went to him as he was walking away and asked him if he was alone. He looked at his ring and chuckled, “That obvious huh”, I stressfully apologized and tried to laugh it off, but chocked on my soda like a moron. He smiled and said that his wife had passed away a long time ago, he liked to come to the carnival because they used to do that together … " Beats sittin' at home darling” …he laughed, he again told me to not be so serious and enjoy life more before going away.
Mike made the usual “is that your boyfriend” joke and since I ignored him, we moved on. There was a stand that served beers and some salty snacks, I said I would buy a few rounds for the group and they looked at me like I had shit in my face or something, when I faked backing out they ran to the stand, with Jackie kissing me in the cheek for "embracing the chill". I couldn't even say how many did we drink, but enough to take a unanimous vote that Ron wasn't allowed to drive us home and since I drank the least, I was the newly designated driver.
Everybody was singing and behaving like a child, and for the first time in a while, I felt happy, with those idiots making all sorts of noise, I was driving slowly because I was a bit tipsy, the main road was blocked, Ron had brought us through the long road that connected the county and the forest. The thing was, the road was dark, Ron told me to boot the fog lights and floor it since there were no real turns, and we would pass both the forest and reach the county quickly, so I did it. 15 minutes into the forest I saw a figure, thinking it was an animal I honked the horn, with the idiots imitating the noise each time I honked it. My guess was, either it jumped onto the car or I had lost depth perception because I didn't have any time to react before hitting whatever was in front of us. I promptly stopped the car, yelling and panicking, Ron and Mike tried to calm us down, but I panicked, even more, when I realized …
I had run over the old man that spoke to me at the carnival, he wasn't breathing. His neck was broken, his face was all open and bloodied from dragging in the cement, and his chin was poking his upper back, there was no way to save him, so I pulled out my phone to call the police when he coughed, Mike took my phone…
I looked back, Ron was comforting Jackie, she was crying and screaming hysterically.
I approach the body there was blood splashed all over the floor, but something wasn’t right. I heard him coughing and I stared at the old man for what it felt like five minutes… no breathing or reacting at all, he looked like roadkill. I started to panic looking at the body when Mike came to me saying to dump the body in the forest and get the hell out of there. I couldn’t think properly, I was in shock, so I did as he said.
I had a big blanket in Mike’s car, so I just ran to get it. We start wrapping the body and we threw it deep inside the forest. We heard the body hitting the floor and rolling downhill, when we finally heard a splash, immediately Mike screamed at me “Let’s go! Get in the fucking car come on!”.
We got in the car and Jackie was surprisingly asleep, she was a weak drinker, after all, she must’ve passed out. Nazz started asking questions about what happened and why it took so long, I couldn’t explain anything, I was so nervous that I couldn’t form a godman sentence, Mike simply said that it was taken care of and not to worry, but kept she pressuring, telling that we fucked up and stressing. I abruptly stopped the car and yell at her “what the fuck did you want us to do?! You wanna go to jail and spend the rest of your life in there?! Huh?!”, she just looked at me scared of my reaction, I turned around and started driving again.
The atmosphere was heavy, everyone was quiet until we reached our city area, since there were a lot of people, due to the festivities, we had to blend in and pretend that we didn't just murder an old widow and dumped his body in a pool of shitty water. So, we decided to stay in a bar near my house to try and not attract the wrong kind of attention. Jackie was the last one to get out of the car, she had a massive headache, and was kind of falling over, Ron went to help her as she leaned herself into the car with her left hand, and I realized that part of the car had blood stains from the collision.
I grabbed my beer and walked over to the car, splashed some on to the stain and wiped it with my jacket, and threw it inside the car.
Ron asked me where my jacket was, it was cold and I was clearly freezing, but I shrugged it off saying that I felt hot and got back inside the bar.
It was around 1:30 am so Mike decided that it was time for the girls to go home, which was fine by me since I didn't want to go out in the first place. I obviously refused to drive so Mike took us home, he wanted to take Jackie and Nazz to their respective houses, but Ron had the idea to send them to sleep in my house instead, since we were approaching the finals, "girls’ sleepover would be something nice for you girls to relax" he said.
I didn’t say anything because the idea was for an obvious reason, so Mike and Ron went on wherever, and the girls stayed at my house for the night. Mike then texted me saying to “Forget the whole night and delete this text, night girls”, I deleted the text without answering him.
During the night I woke up, usually, I hear my mom waking up around 5:00 or 05:30 am, but today there was no movement, so I went down to the kitchen. The old man's image was still fresh in my head. I sat down in the kitchen with the lights off with a soda when I felt something heavy hovering over me like a someone was behind me, my heart started pumping fast and all my body wanted to jerk off the sensation of being watched, but I calmed down and turned over… the fucking fridge was open, the cold breeze was going off. Fucking fridge was making get high blood pressure, shit.
I closed it and right after I looked at the back door for no reason … I felt death looking at me, I didn’t know what it was, I just couldn’t move …There was somebody outside, whatever it was, it was tall, crouching down and with one hand on the blurred window, the worst of it was the eyes, I don't know-how in the godly fuck I could see those white, blue-ish dead eyes and then …a grin started to appear, a big smile, it was the size of my face, I wanted to leave but I was too afraid that if I moved, whatever that was, was going to come inside.
My mom turned on the lights and saw me, just standing there, asking me why I was holding the fridge door open, I looked at her, "You look like you've seen a ghost, what's going on honey?!" she asked worriedly. I looked back at the door and just saw the moon reflection there… probably shouldn’t have drank that fucking soda.
I got back to my room again and tried to fall asleep, my anxiety kicked in, I felt like I was being watched, I was laying down in the middle of both those crying idiots, both were in a deep sleep, I don't know, how but whatever. I texted Mike explaining what happened and he answered almost immediately. I wasn’t expecting him to answer so fast because was too early and he would be asleep, fucker drank enough for the entire group.
I unlocked my phone to check the text, and something was off, I sent a fucking texted explaining everything that happened, detail by detail, and he asked me, “Did you find my ring?”. What did he mean by this, I didn’t understand.
So, I called him asking why he had texted me that, but apparently, he didn’t know what I was talking about, and his voice sounded like he had just woken up. I told him about the text he sent me, and he said he didn't send anything, he was sleeping. I didn't know what to say so I just hang up the phone and when I got back to the conversation the text wasn’t in my inbox.
I felt shivers in my entire body and suddenly a water droplet fell in my face, I was like, what the hell?! Then another drop, and another, I was so confused so ... I looked up to the ceiling I saw it again … looking at me, those eyes were... haunting… both looked like they were washed with bleach but retained some of its blue color and then buried into its skull, I couldn’t make anything of its body, it was darker than the darkness of the room, but it occupied a good portion of the ceiling. I couldn’t move, I tried to scream but it felt like I was detached from my own body, so I just stood on top of the bed when it grabbed my head. Suddenly I woke up.
Jackie and Nazz woke me up both with a terrified face, I was sweating, standing up in the bed, still in the middle of both with my head towards the ceiling the whole time. I just jumped down without saying a word and went to the bathroom.
I looked in the mirror, asking myself “what the fuck was that? What was all that!” I couldn’t stop asking myself the same question. I panicked, I needed to scream or cry, I felt this horrible heat inside my throat, and I couldn’t stop shaking.
I went to the kitchen and my mom was there, she had stayed home because it started to snow and there was no way for her to go to work. I asked her if she remembered seeing me by the fridge last night, she said that yes but that I was probably sleep-walking.
I thought that maybe I was too stressed out from the finals, I had stopped the medication so I could focus more but apparently, it wasn't a good idea.
The girls eventually fell asleep after my mom told them that I usually sleepwalk.
Around 1:30 pm everybody was up, I was already in the living room trying to understand the whole event of last night, I was like in a paralysis state, reliving the accident, Mike yelling at me, the girls panicking, the old man's broken body, the whatever the fuck it was outside the kitchen door last night, everything. The TV was on, but it was distant, I couldn't really hear anything until they came down, my mom came back from the grocery store at the same time.
Nazz asked me if I was ok, she knew that I was having a hard time sleeping and according to Jackie I looked like a corpse…. Jackie didn’t seem to remember the accident, she’s a light drinker and had overdone it last night so Nazz told me to just try and forget what happened, there was nothing else that could've been done. She was right, I couldn't let myself fall back to my old habits, I was finally doing great in school, high grades and all that stuff that made my mom proud, and she kinda needed that. Looking back, I now realized I wasted my time acting like a moron after Dad died, it became much easier when I began to get along with my mom. I had little to no sleep because as soon as she got in the house, it was sitting on the small couch, hugging my knees looking at her with a dumb smile on my face. She smiled back saying that I need to sleep and carried on to the kitchen.
I told the girls to feel at home, I just needed to take a power nap, so I went back upstairs, and I guess the warm sun was enough to make me fall asleep. Suddenly I woke up and it was almost nighttime, the feeling of being watched came back so I jogged downstairs, the girls were watching TV and my mom was on her laptop when someone rang the doorbell.
Two police officers at the door, my heart pumped so much blood it hurt, Nazz chocked on her food. My mom got up and joined me at the door greeting the officers and asking them what the problem was, the whole time I just stood there, eyes wide open, waiting to be arrested for what I did.
The officers just told us about an old man that’s missing for a day, according to them, he had a routine and the person usually drops food for him every day said that the house was empty, which was weird because since his wife died, he would never leave the house during the day, he would always wait for noon or night to go on walks and this was an on-going thing for the past 9 years.
At this point I'm holding my tears and fear with a somewhat surprised face and asked them if they know anything about his whereabouts, to which they say no, that’s why they’re here, to let everybody know about the situation and to report if they see something. My eyes drifted from the officers and I see a bunch of police cars in the neighborhood, other policemen were talking to everybody else. The county was going to start a rescue mission for this old man.
Mike texted me, asking if we could meet at the bar again, I said yes and told the girls to dress up, mom asked me to bring some milk on the way back. So, we went, I drove slowly the whole time to look around and understand the situation, everybody was hanging up signs, talking to the cops that were still patrolling the streets. Jackie asked us what was going on, Nazz told her that some guy left town and he had some debt or something, just to brush it off due to my reaction.
We arrived at the bar, the girls got out before I parked the car and saw the boys, so they went towards them. I turned off the car and was adjusting the rearview mirrors from my side and the one inside the car respectively, when I looked into the inside one, I saw it, the same blue eyes, the same grin, only this time, he was outside the car, I could see his face.
His bloated black skin, covered with bite marks and blisters, his eyes, veiny and wide open with no visible eyelids, his teeth were long, no gaps, all of them the same, no canines or anything, white, so white that looked like they were a light source somehow. It got up, leaning itself in the truck of the car, its arm was the same length as my whole body, with long, skinny fingers, missing the ring finger in its left hand.
I started crying silently. I was going to die, that thing was going to eat me alive.
Ron threw a beer can at my car, startling me, “Come on!” he yelled, I wave at them smiling, cleaning my face while looking that the mirror again, seeing nothing, I was going insane, that was the only explanation.
We went inside, the bar was moderately full that night, probably a football game or something useless that these people liked to scream at. Ron and the girls went to get food while Mike and I found a table big enough for all of us, I then asked if the police went to his house and he said no … Detective Steve went there, apparently, the Detective was on to him for a while, Ron overhead this and chimed in, the girls also sat down with enough French fries for a football team and 8 cheeseburgers. He explained that a few weeks ago Mike and him, got into a fight with some guys inside a liquor store, and Mike broke one the guy’s neck by elbowing him square in the jaw.
We stood there looking at him with the “mother look” while he ate the one the burgers. Ron then said that the guy nearly died in not for himself kinda forcing the neck back in place while his friend ran from the store, they both got arrested but Mike was the one that got on the record, so Steve was kinda onto him since then because his attitude while inside the precinct hadn’t been the best as well.
Mike simply said, “I regret nothing” and kept eating, we shrugged off because that was Mike’s typical behavior. We stayed the rest of the night, watching the guys and the rest of the people yelling at the TV because their team lost, making fun of them and talking about everything.
Around 1 a.m. my mom texted saying that she was going to meet a friend and going away for the weekend, there was enough food at the house, and told me to be careful. I texted the smirk face emoji and told her to have fun, which made me even happier because she was trying to move on.
So, we decided to go back home as well around that time, Ron was driving, we planned to go to my house since my mom wasn’t there and spend the rest of the night there. The main road was apparently fixed during the week, which was funny because when we got there, there were three cop cars, a fire truck, an ambulance, and three wrecked cars. We slowed down and Ron asked the officers what had happened, one of the officers said that there was an accident we had bears around, there was a deer carcass in the middle of the road.
I honestly didn't think about it too much until Nazz pointed out that the carcass was way too mangled, and it looked fresh, which made me look over.
Fucking. Disgusting.
I've never seen that shit in real life, didn't want to anyway. It was a big deer, probably male since it had the massive horns, I'm not a deer specialist so I don't fucking care. It was a mess, its horns were broken and were inside its stomach like something broke them and use them to stab the animal with them, there were slashes all over its body, deep slashes, something I doubt a bear would do to a deer for no reason. Its torso had holes like something punched it until the bones and skin gave out and got pierced over and over, the eyes were gone, so was its tongue and lower jaw. Ron pointed out to the officer that the deer wasn’t eaten, at least not as it should, he said that its body mass, the muscle was mangled but intact, there were no bite or tear stress marks on the flesh beside the slashes, the officer took a closer look and realized that he was right, so he called for backup and told us to go home.
Jackie, being the idiot that she was, took some photos of the deer during the time that Ron was talking to the officer. She likes that stupid gross stuff. Mike was uncharacteristically quiet, I asked him what was with him, he didn't answer as he had just flat out ignored me. Nazz brought him to reality, he then smiled at us and changed the subject by asking how long we were from my house…” I need to take a massive shit”, his words … dick.
We arrived 15 to 20 minutes later, my front door was open, Mike immediately got out of the car and pulled out a fucking Desert Eagle, we freaked out, Ron asked him was the fuck was he doing, and he pointed the gun at us and told us to lock the car door, I got scared because Mike was scared, I'm talking about a guy that once beat the shit out of a man twice his size over some food, now is scared shitless over an open door. He got in, Ron told us to stay put and Nazz to have her phone ready to call the police, I texted my mom asking her if she forgot to close the front door, she didn't answer, which is to be expected. She wasn’t in, that much I knew. Suddenly I got a feeling of dread, I had a vision that Mike was going to die inside, I looked that that car door and Ron didn’t manage to lock it so I got out, with the girls yelling at me to come back, I think Ron came after me as well.
I got inside the house, Mike was there, bend over backward, like his back was going to break, the same "thing" I saw a few days ago, grabbing him by the face and bending his back backward, but he wasn't reacting, his eyes were white, he was drooling, and it looked like he was dead.
The thing then looked up, I couldn't see it, just it's white-bleached eyes, then this grin started to shine, its big teeth, that disgusting smile, as wide as an arm. The thing grabbed Mike’s hand, the one that had the gun, and while smiling, with the gun upside down, and then shot, at first I thought It had aimed at Ron, but he started panicking, took off his jacket and pressed it against my shoulder, I couldn't understand why, I felt a burn on my neck, so I coughed, I coughed blood, Mike shot me, that thing made Mike shoot me. I felt sleepy, Ron's voice was getting more far and far away, I could hear Nazz and Jackie crying and screaming, but I was getting too far away, I couldn’t maintain myself awake for some reason.
I woke up in the hospital, my mom was next to me crying and smiling, I wanted to ask where everybody was, but my voice wasn’t coming out, my neck felt like it was going to burst, I coughed again.
My mom told me what happened, that Mike was drunk and got violent against us and shot me out of anger, he was detained, Ron, Jackie, and Nazz were being questioned for more details. The messed-up part in all of this is that my mom saw my confused expression, but I couldn’t talk, Mike was innocent, but the how fuck would I explain what I saw, what I’ve been seeing. So, I just started to cry, angrily, Mike tried to defend all of us, and he was being accused of something he didn’t do. So I got up, wasn't a good idea since apparently, I had lost a lot of blood, the butterfly that was hooked to my hand was ripped when I fell, ripping a bit of my skin too which my mom panicked and tried to help me up. The whole commotion made the nurses come in to help me up, and detective Steve followed after, he waited until the nurses patched my hand up, and stabilized me, he stood there, the entire time, just looking at me with a stern, almost angry look, not moving, not a single word.
After the nurses were done, he politely asked them to leave for a while, and even my mom, I grabbed her hand, I was afraid of him, I didn't trust the guy, he looked like an average beer belly uncle that gets too comfortable around minors. Mom said to relax, she would be outside if I needed anything, I pointed at my neck, making a "resting bitch" face, to which she said jokingly "You know what I mean honey", kissed my forehead, and left.
Detective Steve kept looking at me, he said that it wouldn’t take long, and he would let me rest, he grabbed a chair and moved closer to me, sat down, and handed me over a pen and notebook, he knew that I couldn't talk so he told me to write simple answers to be quick. He asked me if we had any alcohol or drugs before going home.
“No”. I wrote.
Next was if we had any recent problems or events that might have pressed Mike to become violent in some way. “No," I wrote again, but I hesitated, and that hesitation was enough for him to put his hand on top of mine, and he told me not to hide anything, that if Mike was my friend, he wouldn't shoot me.
The fucking nerve on that guy… I moved my hand away, he apologized and told me to rest and left, I managed to get up, grabbing everything that I could to avoid falling, and managed to reach my bag to get my phone, I texted Nazz asking “What the fuck is going on?”. She immediately called me.
I refused the call and told her I couldn't talk, my neck was sore, so she explains through audio that they were interrogated by the cops, trying to know why Mike had tried to kill me, and I'm there like… what did she mean by "tried to kill?". I got dressed, mom came in asking me why I was dressed, I should stay in the hospital, so I showed her the texts with Nazz and wrote that they were wrong.
The cops stopped us; they didn't want me to leave the hospital for some reason. At this point I was fuming, fucking bastards weren't explaining anything, so I went back to the room and went straight to the bathroom and video called Nazz but kept texting, I was using earphones because I was sure that the room was bugged or something.
Ron answered this time, the three of them were together coming to see me, I wrote that they probably wouldn’t be able to see me, there was police inside and they didn’t let me out.
I asked them what had happened with Mike, the girls wouldn't answer so I wrote again in all caps, don't know why, so Ron, again, explained that Mike was detained and probably was going to jail due to what he did to me. To which I asked Ron what did he meant, he saw the same thing as I did, Mike was being grabbed, “And how are we going to explain that to the cops or your mom?”.
That question was calming and alarming at the same time, I wasn’t crazy, Ron saw the same creature I did but he was right, how were we supposed to explain what made Mike shoot me.
So, we just decided to let it go, for the time being, Ron said that Mike was silent, he didn't say anything, he wasn't reacting, I said good, let him be quiet, it was better than him talking bullshit to make his situation even worse. I told them to stay together, I would probably be able to leave tomorrow, and we would meet up to talk this through. My bathroom door wasn’t fully closed, I felt someone watching me so looked up, there was a small gap between the door and the wall, with a blue eye and a grin looking in, and I immediately jumped off the toilet and kicked the door open, took me a few seconds to walk out and when I did I saw a frame of someone closing the room door, leaving the room, I tried to run but my legs decided that they needed a break and I fell on my face, the sudden bump against the floor made the air inside my lungs burst out thought my neck and mouth, it felt like my neck blew up, I coughed up more blood, couldn’t even breathe right and I guess my mom heard the bump and she came in, scolding me for trying to move around so soon. I asked her through the note that Detective Steve gave me if she saw someone coming out of the room, she said no, she was sitting next to the door and came in because she heard the bump. Great.
I was discharged the next day morning, the guys were there, my mom drove all four of us to my house, Jackie and Nazz helped me inside while Ron helped my mom with some groceries, she had bought the day before apparently. Jackie sat down with me in the living room while Nazz went outside to help my mom and Ron outside. Jackie was down, really down, she had been crying for days, I could tell, she has big brown eyes, her eyelashes were so big that looked fake, a round face with big red cheeks, small pointy nose, and curly brown hair, all the way down to her ass, she looked like a doll, my “baby”, these past days had been a shit show, she hadn't been sleeping well, her dark circles tend to show up after a few days without sleeping, last year during the exams, she got so stressed that even her hair lost volume, she can't handle stress, I just kept looking at her and smiled, she's such a good friend that sometimes I ask myself how in the fuck does she put up with me. I guess me thinking about her while looking at her and smiling made her cry because I was honestly joyful, I had friends, good friends, she hugged me and I hugged back and placed her head onto my lap where she instantly fell asleep.
Mom and Ron finished unpacking everything, and she told Ron and Nazz to relax and sit, she was going to try and clean the bloodstain and hopefully get it out, so Ron sat down, first time we saw each other after all that shit. Nazz sat down on the other side of the couch, next to Jackie’s feet.
Nazz turned on the TV, we decided not to talk about the situation because my mom was behind us scrubbing the floor to clean my bloodstain.
I got up slowly and left a pillow on Jackie’s head so she wouldn’t wake up and went to help her, she was crying, silently, while scrubbing the floor, I was surprised, I almost died, she was out, probably feeling like she wasn't able to protect me I bet. I grabbed a towel and threw it on top of the stain and reach out with my hand for her to get up and smiled, she cleared her tears and went to sit down with us, grabbing a nearby blanket to cover Jackie and watched the movie with us.
It was around 4a.m, I dozed off. The usual tele sales were on, showing one of those devices that vibrate your abs while you're sitting down not doing what you're supposed to get said abs. My mom wasn't in the living room, the rest of the guys were sleeping, Ron was on the floor with his legs up the couch, Jackie hadn't moved from the same position that I left her, neither did Nazz…bitch was asleep sitting down. I left them there and went up the stairs to check on mom, it took me a few moments to gather up the energy and mental fortitude to go up the stairs, I felt like I got hit by a truck, but only on my neck but the pain had been spreading through my whole body, sleeping on the couch did not help.
After what it felt like 3 years I managed to reach her room, I didn't realize that her boyfriend was sleeping beside her, when I was about to close the door when I heard a noise coming from the room, I couldn’t see well, it was dark so I looked inside to try and see if I could make something out of the darkness, as my eyes adjusted to the dark I noticed her boyfriend was moving a lot, he was trying to stretch his legs and it got into a point where it looked like he had something trying to break his body.
His legs started to stretch out the bed, his feet became elongated, so did his arms, his whole body grew out like something was pulling it from his head, arms, and legs, I tried to warn my mom but at that exact moment he opened his eyes and looked directly at me, with white, blue' ish eyes but his face was still normal like he has asleep with his eyes open.
I was mostly curious but still scared, I thought it was the meds plus me going up the stairs messed me up, maybe a sudden rush so I scratched my eyes and pressed them to move the blood to my head. I opened my eyes and saw It again, I stood there, holding the doorknob, locking eyes with it, it slowly started to show its grin, but it seemed different, only its face has black, the rest of the body was full of stretch marks, the ones that almost look that the skin is going to rip apart, but the skin color was intact. It got up on top of the bed slowly, its head was tilted to the side because of how tall it was. I didn't know what to do, I couldn't even mutter a single word or sound, I was afraid to run because that thing was standing in the bed with my mom beside it, I wasn't just gonna leave my mom there but I also was to chicken shit to get in. It started to move its left ring finger while it slightly opened its mouth, drooling, and let out a calming, slow, and low growl, and then it dawns on me… I panicked, the thing started to reach for my mom with the same finger and I had the idea to turn on the light. Mom woke up asking me if everything was ok, she was alone in the room, so I definitely needed to calm the fuck down. I nodded and turned off the light, closed the door, and as soon as I turned around, I felt a hot, disgusting breath on the right side of my face… I fully stopped moving, I peed myself, that thing was in my face, squatted down, grabbing my ear, smelling like a mix of rotten eggs, hot baby shit, and spoiled milk. I was trembling, crying, frozen, I didn't know what I should do and it drew its mouth closer to my ear and using its raspy, dry low voice, asked me a question that sent me into a panic attack… “Did you… find my ring?!” I kept looking forward, crying, realizing this thing was the old man, I closed my eyes, my guilt, anger, disgust came flowing through.
Suddenly I heard a bunch of noise coming from downstairs, I heard Mike yelling at them to wake up and running up the stairs with a flashlight. They saw me standing there with the old man, or what was left of him crouching beside me, looking at them, always with the same smile.
Mike yelled at me to move, which made my mom jump off the bed and storm out of the room with a gun herself when she saw it besides me, this time the old man slowly shifted his gaze to my mom, making her swallow her spit out of fear, she still shakingly pointed the gun at him, so did Mike.
I closed my eyes again because nothing good was going to come out of it, so at this point, I was beginning to accept whatever was going to happen.
The flashlight died, I could hear his growls, Jackie panicking while Nazz tried to calm her down, Mike scream at me and my mom to duck, he fired three shots around the area that he last saw it. Ron yelled at him to stop shooting and managed to find the light in the hallway.
It’s weird, my mom looked at me like I was laying down on the floor, then the ran to Mike furious and crying. Jackie was crying her eyes out while Nazz was trying to cover my neck and chest. Ron was trying to separate my mom from Mike. I tried to tell them to stop, I couldn’t speak, my voice wasn’t coming out…
The old man was back, but in the same way he was when I first saw him in the carnival, he asked me if I could help him find his ring. I felt at peace, so, I said yes, he helped me up. I could still see Nazz covering my neck and my mom crying but he told me that I wouldn’t take too long.
I grabbed his arm and went with him; it was the first time that I felt this safe since Dad.
Hopefully, I would find Dad along the way as well.

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Hello everyone and welcome,
You may call me Jay. I am a an avid sports bettor and gambler for over a decade now. I hope this finds and provokes some conversation from anyone else out there that may have the same hunch that sports betting or casinos may be rigged. I have always been aware of more money brings more power, and more power brings more influence and control, and in the realm of gambling more influence brings far more corruption in this world than we may yet realize. This is not a sore loser rant, I have actually had astounding success gambling. But I want to address some proof of this, as well as my thought process behind my gambling techniques, and ways to improve odds against the almighty house. Specifically in parlay betting. Which some people may think is a chumps chance at luck. Well statistics and exponential value truly are your best way to “hit it big” along with a stroke of luck on your side of course.
Some background on me I have been very successful against the odds and beating bookmakers has become a competitive passion/hobby of mine. If you have fallen in love with the adrenaline rush of gambling then you know what I am talking about. As time and my success has gone on I have chased more and more of a thrill from gambling as i’m sure many of you resonate with. Over time increasing unit sizes, payouts that have gone from a few hundred to several tens of thousands of dollars. And yes I have hit for tens of thousand’s through actively participating and employing different sports markets while utilizing a combination of years of gambling experience with my background in statistics and career as a registered investment advisor in the securities industry.
But what the intention of this post is for: I would like to address some proof on why I am beginning to feel cheated by the system that seemingly has become more corrupt in recent years as gambling has become a massive multi-national legal “entertainment” service.
To begin: I have recently switched my casino loyalty to one of the “big two” in Vegas. Once again in my attempt to maintain anonymity, however I am the highest tier and the benefits and perks they offer annually have me persuaded to stay. Until tonight:
As previously mentioned I am a prolific sports gambler, prior to NBA and NHL playoffs is what I call the money pit season: you have march madness, tail end of regular season NBA, NHL, and the beginning of major tennis tournaments. I put all of my personal expertise and knowledge and position strategies to construct parlays that hit at an impressive rate. Through alt line wagering and positioning perfect matchups that statistically have the most favorable variables to create the best edge possible in order to produce successful results.
Tonight I had 3 separate parlays that utilized alt line hedging to mitigate riskier outcomes (ex.) +2.5 hockey hook covering a money line taken on another parlay. Where that specific game assumes the most risk across a multi-sport slate. In theory mitigating loss while in a perfect world leaving the possibility for both to still hit. And yes it does work when you pick the proper pairing. And also yes, you can easily get burnt on the games that produce deviated anomalies that cannot be easily hedged or anticipated at that. This is gambling after all.
Well tonight in a lapse of judgement I had included the same player prop in a NBA game in each parlay. In hindsight of submitting accept wager that, “oh shit moment” when you realize it could be the one leg that ruins them all, is a hard pill to swallow when it does in fact ruin them all.
However, tonight was one of those nights where all 3 parlays were extremely successful. The final leg remained and it was the previously mentioned NBA player prop.
In an attempt to keep anonymity and protect myself from exposing corrupt gambling organizations I wont address direct details but will explain how obvious and poor of an attempt this was by a large LEGAL casino that many of you probably have a registered players reward card to. And this exposes their deliberate attempt to falter my wager. This will forever change my outlook on sports betting, gambling, and truly my outlook on higher power organizations and corruption altogether.
The total payout of this parlay was close to $150,000 off only a few hundred dollars. Split between 3 separate parlays.
The player in my prop bet needed to get a double double, and then I would have won the jackpot! Easy enough right? Well my anchor was a starter, averaging 29.1 minutes of PT in the last 2 months. In the month of march alone this player has recorded a points and rebounds double-double 6-11 games, tonight being the 12th game in march where he ended with 9 pts 4 assists and 10 rebounds. Excruciatingly unfortunate for my payout..
Here is where I didn’t let it go: that 29.1 minute average tonight was cut, deliberately to just 20 minutes. As a starter, playing a bizarre 10 minutes in the first quarter, a mysterious 0 minutes in the 2nd quarter when the game was still tight at half, and then just 5 minutes to start the third, and finally another 5 minutes to start the fourth. The player doesn’t shoot 3’s and completed an and one 3 pt play to reach 9 points 4 assists and 10 rebounds in the fourth. A bucket away from a double-double. Already sketchy of the way they were managing the time on the court for this player to no surprise he made one last attempt at the rack in transition that couldn’t fall and subsequently an immediate timeout was called and he was benched for the remaining 7 minutes of the fourth quarter following that shot. This isn’t a player that was listed for load management, had no injuries, is a young guy that could and was playing 30 + minutes per game. This was a deliberate attempt called in by a large well known casino. Strange how a completely healthy starter played less than anyone on the bench..by about 5 minutes, strange that they didn’t utilize him through the core minutes of that game. Strange on what would be his final fast break transition attempt there was a deliberate attempt to call timeout and substitute just him. I’m not sure of the procedures of the casinos monitoring processes however i’m sure they get flagged when they realize there’s a huge hit that can occur. And the fact that it was a significant amount of money off nothing and they knew that it was controllable i’m sure ringed the alarm for the bookmakers to make the call.
Never in my time have I seen such absurdity. I have reached out to the player in an attempt to find out if he was deliberately told that he would be sidelined tonight and find out if he himself was confused by that strange game.
I will hopefully get a response and be able to expose this. And yes i am aware that there is mafia ties and fixed games across global events but this is on par with playing a rigged slot machine in my opinion. Enticing enough to chase again after being so close yet so far from hitting it big.
Stay safe everyone I hope to expand upon this thread in the near future.
Best,
HiveMindJay

Hello! After my last post I made what I hope will be a lifelong friend, but I am still looking for a romantic partner! So after taking a while to reflect on what I want out of a relationship, I've decided to give this another shot. This will be a fairly long post as I intend to be as descriptive as I can.
Relationship One thing you'll learn fairly quickly if you get to know me is that I enjoy daydreaming. At this point it's practically my default mental state. As such, daydreams about loving relationships pop into my head very often! So almost all of what I'm about to describe has been something I've daydreamed about 😅
To be frank, the kind of relationship I envision being in is fairly cheesy. As a hopeless romantic, I've desired a storybook kind of love for a long time. I want to fall in love with someone. I want my future partner to be my best friend; someone I can't wait to spend time with.
It's safe to say I'm pretty clingy and I'd like to be with someone who reciprocates that energy. I like hearing about how your day went and I like being asked about mine even if neither were particularly eventful. It's such a good feeling to know someone cares about the little things I might be going through and I want to provide that same feeling to someone else.
I've learned recently (a few months ago) about love languages and I think all of them are important. If I had to pick my favorites I'd say Quality Time and Words of Affirmation are tied at number one and Physical Touch is a close second.
I realize that it's unrealistic to think that relationships can't take a sour turn, but should that ever happen, I'd want to be with someone who's capable of clearly and respectfully expressing their emotions. I understand how hard that can be for some. No one's perfect and to be honest, we're bound to accidentally hurt each other in some way. But as long as both parties are willing to say what they want from each other (and both are willing to give what the other wants) I genuinely believe any relationship can last indefinitely.
If you value the same things in a relationship, please reach out! I look forward to hearing from you!
And lastly, I wanted to touch on sex. If the above paragraphs didn't make it obvious, most of my interests in sex are vanilla. There are not many aspects of BDSM that I personally find appealing. With that being said, I would definitely want sex in a relationship so I would not be compatible with anyone who is asexual, unfortunately.
About Me I'm 6 feet tall and around 160 lbs. I've been pretty skinny for my whole life, but I've recently decided that I want to put on some weight. My goal is to be around 180 lbs by next year and to be fairly toned.
I like shopping for clothes and am very likely to ask for your opinion before buying something. I like finding bright color combinations that I think suit me. I also have a massive collection of sweaters that you'd be free to steal once we get to that point 😅
Aside from physical appearance, I've been told I'm very emotionally intelligent and I'd value that in a partner as well. I'm usually very quiet around people I don't know and as a result I usually become known as the "quiet guy" in workplaces. But that's okay to me! I'd rather have close and meaningful friendships with fewer people than have a bunch of friends that I don't feel as comfortable with.
Main Interests
Music Music has always been extremely important to me and I would love it if my future partner had a similar appreciation for it as well. The kinds of music I enjoy have changed drastically with time, but for the last eight years EDM has been the constant for me. I can go on and on about the different artists and genres I'm into, but I'll save most of that for when we get to know each other. However, I will say the more you like EDM the better. Even though I'm usually pretty introverted, I'd love nothing more than going to shows and festivals with my partner and having the time of our lives.
With that being said, while I am definitely biased towards EDM and most of the genres under it's massive umbrella, I do enjoy other music as well. R&B, Soul, Rap, Pop, Rock, and Metal are all genres I can get into when the mood hits! I love making playlists for people, and I'd like to think my tastes are broad enough to have something for everyone so I hope you won't mind me making some for you!
Stories This is my other love in life! I love reading, writing, and watching stories of any kind!
For reading, I enjoy fantasy novels the most, but I'm not actually well read in the genre. I've never read LOTR or Harry Potter for example! But I want to eventually!
I've also gotten back into reading graphic novels. My favorite so far is Saga! I'm always looking for recommendations as I want to start reading as much as I used to. It'd be even better if you were willing to read along with me! It'd honestly be pretty cute if we had our own little book club lol
For writing, I'll save the details for later, but I currently have a few different story ideas that I'm working on at any given time. To be honest, I have a lot to learn but I'm always trying to improve! My biggest goal is to be able to make a living off of my stories someday.
And lastly, watching shows and movies with friends is one of my favorite things to do! I love discussing what we did or didn't like once the episode is over, and having someone to react with when shit hits the fan makes the experience so much more enjoyable. So definitely hmu if you're down for that?
Gaming Yes, like almost every other redditor, I also enjoy gaming. Like with movies and shows, I typically get less enjoyment playing alone. However, I have been enjoying Hogwarts Legacy a lot lately!
As far as single-player games go, I enjoy games with great stories and character fantasy! Some of my favorites are The Mass Effect Trilogy, Skyrim, and The Witcher 3! (Sidenote: I haven't finished The Witcher yet😅)
Some games I play with friends are Overwatch, Divinity Original Sin: 2, and pve games like Borderlands and Gunfire Reborn. I've also recently picked up Apex Legends and Valorant!
I have a pretty massive steam library and I'd love to play games together, but if you're not a big gamer that's completely fine! To be honest, it can sometimes feel like a crutch when hanging out with friends, so I'd be more than happy to do something else if that doesn't become our main source of entertainment!
Politics This is vitally important to me! My political beliefs have changed drastically over the last decade and to be honest I take great pride in that. I'm firmly on the left in every issue I can think of.
I'd like to think I'm more politically knowledgeable than the average person, but I fully recognize I have a lot left to learn. I'd love to have someone willing to go on that journey with me, but it's not required.
As for your own beliefs, I'm fully capable of being friends with conservatives, but I can't see myself being in a relationship with one. It's also worth mentioning that I am not religious and I'd prefer my partner not to be as well.
Honestly, I feel like I could go on, but this post is long enough already and I think I've touched on the most important aspects already. The last thing I'll mention is that I don't really have any preferences when it comes to race or culture. I don't mind long distances as long as both of us are willing to meet in person. Despite the typical perception of a raver, I don't smoke, drink, or do any drugs. I'm okay with light drinking, but I'd prefer that you don't smoke or do any drugs either. And as for age, I'd feel uncomfortable dating anyone under 20 and anyone over 30.
Here are a few pictures of me! I won't ask for them immediately, but please be willing to also share pictures of yourself when you're comfortable.

We're at the final stretch guys... I believe we'll end up at 8th seed if the games play out as they should. TBH I don't see any top 6 teams falling to 40 losses anymore. But if we somehow win ALL our remaining games we can make the 6th seed.
​
DAL CURRENT RECORD
11TH 37-40
PREDICTION 3-2
​
DAL @ MIA - L
DAL @ ATL - W
DAL VS SAC - L
DAL VS CHI - W
DAL VS SAS - W
​
FINAL RECORD 40-42
​
OKC CURRENT RECORD
10TH 38-39
PREDICTION 2-3
​
OKC @ IND - W
OKC vs PHX - L
OKC @ GSW - L
OKC @ UTA - W
OKC vs MEM - L
​
FINAL RECORD 40-42
​
PEL CURRENT RECORD
9TH 38-38
PREDICTION 2-4
​
PEL @ DEN - L
PEL VS LAC - W
PEL VS SAC - L
PEL VS MEM - L
PEL VS NYK - W
PEL @ MIN - L
​
FINAL RECORD 40-42
​
LAL CURRENT RECORD
8TH 38-38
PREDICTION 4-2
​
LAL @ MIN - W
LAL @ HOU - W
LAL @ UTA - W
LAL @ LAC - L
LAL @ PHX - L
LAL VS UTA - W
​
LAL FINAL RECORD 42-40
​
MIN CURRENT RECORD
7TH 39-38
PREDICTION 4-1
​
MIN @ LAL - L
MIN @ POR - W
MIN @ BKN - W
MIN @ SAS - W
MIN VS NOP - W
​
MIN FINAL RECORD 43-39
​
SUMMARY
​
7TH MIN 43-39
8TH LAL 42-40
9TH OKC 40-42
10TH PEL 40-42
11TH DAL 40-42