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How can I not care about other people opinions?
2023.03.25 11:12 FaithlessnessFirst How can I not care about other people opinions?
Ive been told im a hoe constantly by many poeple in my life. And I see social media and other girls seems to embrace this term and feel free from any negative thoughts linked to it. Free to express their sexuality. I dont consider myself one. I had hand counted relationships and im nearly my 30s. However, i have people at work that say that, both my exes said that before breaking up and even my parents told me that if i had sex before 18 I would become one. I think this term goes deeper than just offend my reputation and affects me more than what i am aware of. Ive been trying to not pay attention to it but honestly i still care a lot what peoples think. Does it has anything to do with attachment styles or anything deeper maybe? Low steem, childhood trauma? 🤔
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2023.03.25 11:12 Tyraele Terminated on same day for "lack of motivation"
Hi there, Background
I joined my company nearly two years ago. It would be two years in just under 14 days. For the last year morale has been low due to redundancies and other things. It's dropped further as a senior exec gave in his notice, along with my line manager.
Anyway, a new Exec came in recently who I've only interacted with virtually. Before this week I've only been in large calls with him, and only interacted once in a 121 manner. This week I've interacted with him more personally in a smaller setting a few times. Coming away from those calls, I was left that he wasn't impressed with what I had to say i.e. that not everything is sunshine and rainbows, but always in a constructive manner. Fully professional etc.
Anyway it gets to yesterday (Friday) morning and HR sends over to me a Teams invite for the early afternoon for a review. No context is provided. Get into the call and told that I am terminated "as of today, and today is your last". Access will be revoked from all systems etc. That I will be paid my monthly wage, 4 week notice period and annual leave.
The reasons given in the call are my line manager, new C-suite and unnamed others have noticed that I seem to lack motivation. I reply that is new to hear - I've always hit my targets, set both by my org and line manager. That I've never been informed - unofficially or otherwise - that I was not performing to the standard required. Instead I've only gotten positive feedback.
HR mention also that it is partly because I've been unhappy - I reply that whilst I've been disheartened for reasons mentioned above - the same could be said of the majority of the company. HR agrees with this.
Anyway shortly after, I lose access to 1 system, and my colleagues are informed that today is my last day via email that I'm not looped into (friend shares it with me anyway). I'm also sent a termination letter stating the reason for termination not being able to "attain the standard of work required...[Company] has concerns regarding your performance and motivation".
I have not signed anything, only to respond asking for payslips, copy of contract. After speaking with ACAS and friends who have experience in HR, I appealed via email as my contract states is possible for disciplinary procedures. Appealing for wrongful dismissal. Disputing the lack of poor performance (again never been an issue, this rendering of lack of motivation (no one has ever asked me). I've also asked for a copy of the investigation report.
I've also had it confirmed to me by several people intimately involved in the matter, that the decision was driven by the new exec who just doesn't like me (for whatever reason). Advice I've gotten is that what they've done is not legal/they haven't followed due process. That actually I am still employed for the next month, which would take me over the 2 year mark?
The clause in my contract regarding termination states that I have to be given notice, 1 month in writing. Alternatively it can be done immediately/without pay if "committed any serious breach of your obligations as an employee or committed any act of gross misconduct".
Ultimately I recognise that my time at the company is done, and I'd like to get to an amicable agreement with them where I'm given a golden parachute and not "sacked".
Questions I have are:
- How does my situation look like from a legal point of view? Is the above feasible?
- Am I actually still employed for the next month, taking me over the two year mark which will give me greater protection?
- Anything else?
tldr; Worked at company for nearly 2 years. Never been written up for anything. New exec comes in, dislikes me. Got told yesterday that I'm terminated on the same day for "lack of motivation", whilst getting some payment. What are my options.
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2023.03.25 11:10 Empty_Ad9086 Day 11(20mg)..not wanting to get up for work anymore, may have to stop prozac...
So I've been on prozac before, I made it 3 months in and then stopped, I didn't really have any benefits at that time(6weeks 20mg, 6weeks 40mg).
Recently I went back on them but already I'm waking up not wanting to go to work. This happened with other antidepressants where I just stopped going to work and started sleeping all day.
I don't want to stop taking them because I think oh I bet after 3 months is when they start kicking in for me. But maybe prozac and the other antidepressants I've tried aren't for me.
Ugh I dunno but I can't go back into this rut of lying in bed all day and nearly losing my job....but but what if I miss out on the prozac actually working. Ughhh. Without medication I'm a mess, with medication I'm a mess, I can't win!
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2023.03.25 11:09 Boosted_Snowman Update: PC keeps randomly shutting down during load intensive tasks.
OG post here: https://www.reddit.com/pcmasterrace/comments/11wcbby/pc_keeps_randomly_shutting_off_during_load/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
So I've done some work to see what it could be.
I exchanged my power supply thinking it could be a fault in it (went back to my 500w) and the problem persisted.
I got a cpu that doesn't have a history of overheating and the problem persisted
I updated damn near every driver I can think of short of the printer and the problem persisted.
This next bit is irrelevant but, just to put in perspective how desperate I am to fix this shit, I went looking for RAM drivers and shortly found out there is no such thing. Learn something new every day.
Updating my drivers fixed a cooling issue atleast but that's about all it fixed.
To test the waters even further, I used Ryzenmaster to stress test my cpu. All cores running max speed, at 77w (which shouldn't be possible cause the R7 5700x has a wattage of 65) and the damn thing barely got to 61C (max is 95C) and didn't crash my PC. I did this twice. Once with the CPU gutted at 80% max speed, another at 100, which is when it reached 61C.
If I never have to do PC troubleshooting again, it'll be too soon.
Using Eventviewer, I got EventID 6008 and a Critical Kernel-Power Event 41. Basically just telling me "Your shit stopped".
I switched back to my 1kW PSU in hopes of the issue being a lack of power, and nothing.
Even did the stress test and the CPU got hotter trying to open discord on startup than running at 77w with all cores going full blast.
What is there left to check? Any help would be appreciated because I'm at a loss for what it could be.
To be more specific, it dies whenever I try to render or export anything in premiere, or whenever I try to record a game while on Discord. Sometimes it just crashes when I'm editing. Is it the sudden ramp up? I'm at a genuine loss of ideas here short of replacing my mobo.
Tldr; PC still fucked, slightly less so but still unusable for what I need. Stress tests fine but God forbid I ask it to do anything. Any advice would be appreciated.
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to pcmasterrace [link] [comments]
2023.03.25 11:08 Negative_Panic_6424 Second hand turbo trainer
Hi all, sorry if this is against the rules but I want to start riding indoors with Zwift and in the market for a second hand direct drive turbo
There are a few being sold near me but the price on all of them seems too good to be true compared to RRP, Do turbo trainers just not hold value very well?
On that note is there anything I should look out for when buying second hand?
Thanks in advance
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2023.03.25 11:08 Verrgasm Desperation
My foot pushed down harder on the accelerator as my stomach cramped up again in a painful spasm. I was speeding through a schoolzone, and as a sign popped up on the side of the road clearly stating '20' I snapped out of my desperate panic and reluctantly dropped from '40' down to '25'. Turning a corner I realized to my horror that it was three o'clock, and the street was mobbed with parents buzzing in and out of the building to collect their children.
I turned to look behind me and I nearly lost it, my asshole puckering as I sucked the poison back inside. I was completely boxed in. Another four cars had already trapped me inside. I smashed the horn, pleading with the traffic on either side to budge. They didn't.
After a gruelling seven and a half agonising minutes and a half hearted search for some sort of viable receptacle and something other than socks to wipe with, the blockage finally gave way. The cars slowly began to move forward. Eagerly creeping behind, I saw the problem. Somebody had broken down right there by the school gates, having finally been repaired and sent along. A wave of relief washed over me as I considered the short journey ahead. The Porsche dealership was a little over a mile away. A dealership which had a bathroom, one I'd used before. Afterall, that's where I'd bought my car. They knew me, and I knew I'd be able to breeze on in, no questions asked. A deep growling rumbled out over the radio and I put my foot down again as soon as I broke through onto the main road. Just a straight shot, and it would all be over.
Not a minute passed until I was once again utterly dismayed, near losing all hope; ready to just give up right there and then and ruin a perfectly decent pair of black suit pants and the interior of my beautiful brand new Porsche's two-colour interior, characterized by a perfectly coordinated interplay of colours, materials and individual finishes suited just for me. A red light shone in the distance, and in its wake sat a long line of idling cars. Lesser cars, all in my way. My gut quaked violently and sharp pains erupted all through my midsection, sweat pouring down my back and growing sticky in the afternoon heat. I peeled myself from the smooth-finish leather, craning my head out the open window just enough to get a good shout across and I screamed as loudly as the rapidly building pressure would allow, but once again my efforts were futile.
Another minute, now five since I first stared down the crimson cyclops - FIVE minutes at a red light - before at last I was granted passage as everyone finally moved along. Taking their sweet time, of course. I took the left, screeching into the Porsche customer parking lot. The engine stayed on and the keys stayed in, I didn't even close the door behind me. There was no time. The car was the least of my concerns at that point, there was only one thing on my mind.
Shoulder-barging through the glass doors, it's as if my vision became tunneled as I focused in on that bright shining door located at the far wall emblazoned with the sign identifying it as a toilet. And only a little bit past two rows of Porsche's that were only slightly better than mine, I was so close. An audible grunt escaped my pursed lips. As I rushed past the reception desk, something grabbed me. It was Gina. Fucking Gina.
"Mr Kleinfeld? Hi! Lovely to see you again! There aren't any problems with the car, are there?" She looked concerned on the surface but only about as far as it might affect her status as the dealership's top salesperson that month.
"What?!" I caught myself before I let slip just how much pain I was in, confused as to why I wasn't just making a break for it. "Oh? No it's… it's amazing. Fantastic, even. It's just… the thing is…"
Gina raised an eyebrow behind her thick hipster glasses. Functional, yet chic. Now appearing sincerely concerned.
"CAN I USE YOUR BATHROOM!?" The words piled out fast and hard in more of a shriek than a polite request. Gina took a small surprised step back before replying apologetically,
"I'm so sorry, but it'll be closed until at least Five. We've had a plumbing issue this morning a-"
My bodily functions erupted loudly against my will, interrupting the dealership's most enterprising saleswoman midsentence as a fetid smell akin to what I imagine a genocide reeks like filled the spacious area, floor to ceiling, within seconds. I stood there in shock, as did Gina. We maintained an uncomfortable mutual stare for a moment before my feet automatically began backing away; unconsciously desperate to immediately escape the nightmare on my stunned behalf.
Others began to correlate the stench with my shuffling presence and two or three pointed in my direction, outing my soiled situation to their small groups of co-workers.
"Don't look at me!" I yelled as involuntarily as I'd emptied my bowels as I crossed the threshold back into the lot, my shrill echo boomed and everyone who hadn't previously noticed my embarrassment did then at that exact moment. My mind was racing, while also simultaneously completely blank in an odd mix of trauma, shame, panic and despair. My reputation, tarnished in the blink of an eye like my work slacks.
I got to my still open and blinking Porsche, removed the bottom half of my attire and dumped it all right there beside me on the ground, socks included. They were someone else's problem now. With a quick wipe using the discarded clothing I hopped back inside and sped away from the scene. The smell haunting me the whole way like the memory of that day will haunt my every waking moment forever.
An hour's drive home later and I was sitting outside my house afraid to go inside. I didn't tell my wife what happened to me when she greeted me at the front door, balls out, instead storming upstairs to hide in the shower, opting for the inevitable rumor mill to do the job instead. We never spoke of it, ever. I never spoke about much of anything after that…
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2023.03.25 11:06 Salt-Translator2554 I came here just to ask a question, do you ever remember big league chew releasing a gum that grows as you chewed it?
I promise I'm not making this up, and I know I'm not crazy because as a kid I almost died, it's like this is another one of those Mandela effect cases or something.
Back in the mid 90s my brother's used to bring me home giant gummy dinosaurs, jolly ranchers or lifesavers (I can't remember which) that were square like charms candy, and these drinks called asteros that had these little jelly balls that float at the top of the bottle. I wasn't any older that 5 or 6. One day they came home with big league chew and I found it in their room on the dresser already opened. It was outta here original. The baseball player was ready to swing and was blowing a big bubble from his mouth that covered part of his glasses on his right eye. On the bubble it read "Grows as you chew".
Me being a kid I was like yeah I want some! So I grabbed a little handful of the shredded gum and started chewing on it, and sure enough the more I was chewing it was getting bigger and harder to chew. Me being little and never eating gum before I didn't know what gum was I just figured it was a candy. I had tried to swallow some of the gum and it was still growing and got stuck in my throat to the point I was choking, I did the best I could and was lucky enough to get it out (I happened to be alone at home at the time because my big brother was getting my younger big brother from school down the street and had put cartoons for me to watch while he was gone). I threw my chewed gum away and never forgot that day.
Fast forward to this year and we were talking about near death experiences and I told my story. I went online to find the gum I was talking about to show them what the package looked like and to see the ingredients list and I literally can't find a single thing about it anywhere! Not in discontinued chewing gums, not in lawsuits over chewing gum, no google images, nothing.
So have any on you reading this ever had chewing gum that grows in your mouth the more that you chewed it? Because I can't make this up, nor would I want to. I was actually just trying to figure out what ingredients they used to make the gum grow.
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2023.03.25 11:05 Intrepid-Inspector80 Need advice in long-ish distance relationship (25M) + (22F)
Me (25M) and my GF (22F) have been officially together for just over a year now but started seeing each other around 18 months ago and are currently having some issues with new distance in the relationship.
When we first met she lived 40 minutes away, which at the time didnt feel so bad. We took things slow (mostly on my terms) but ended up fostering a committed relationship. She began to look to move closer to me, viewed several places to rent and even got a job near me. Though i currently live with my parents she spent most days with me and stayed most nights while she was looking somewhere.
The first half of last year was great, we went away together a lot made a tonne of memories in a short time and built a genuinely amazing relationship. My relationship before her was 8 years long, and ive felt so much more love in this newer one. Im basically trying to say that things were very good, everything was so easy and it just felt like we were made to be a team.
Summer came around and she ended up landing her dream job opportunity of becoming a tattoo artist (apprentice position). The studio was 50 minutes away, but it didnt seem so bad i was just thrilled for her because these positions are famously hard to get. A couple months later she ended up getting a place over there. On a good day it's 50 mins away, on a bad more like 70.
Initially she was working 3 days and living off of savings as well as the small amount she earned at the time. So we still had time to make the trips and stay with eachother for a few nights at a time. However she now works a full 5 days, but tattoo apprenticeships arent particularly lucrative so shes even having to now look for part time work to fit around it.
Im freelance, which is both a blessing and a curse, it means i can be flexible with my time and work from home at her place so we can see eachother on evenings. It also means that my work can be super sporadic and lead to unfortunate timings where we may not see eachother for over a week or more.
But things have been particularly tough recently. We had a bit of a rough patch before Christmas where she didnt feel i was making enough effort and felt that i wasnt committed to our future (she was right to a degree in that i hadnt been doing much to show my intent and put that effort in) then she ended up kissing another guy on a random night out. She owned up to it after it had happened and we took some time off, i made the decision to let her back and try to rebuild some trust. Though many people might think thats not a great move i was happy with my decision and things actually got way way better, we had some conversations and loads of time together over Christmas which was a blessing. Our relationship genuinely got a second lease of life after that.
However the pain from that still festered and i still struggled to fully trust her, the past couple of months ive been quite anxious and maybe sometimes overbearing and just feeling suspicious which has definitely had an effect on her too.
The last month in particular has been difficult as shes had to do things on her usual days off and work has become more busy for me, typically on her days off too. So weve been trying to block out time together but its proven difficult.
This past week ive noticed that shes been a little off, i managed to stay at hers last night and decided to semi address the situation. I was upset and didnt put on my best performance (tears etc) but basically she said she feels like our relationship and her life where she currently lives are two separate things, like shes living 2 lives almost. She said that she feels like she cant establish a social life where she lives or fully settle because of our relationship. Shes always been quite needy (i dont mean that in a negative way) in the sense that she likes to have me around all the time, she basically said that all of the issues that have come with the distance are not what she wants in a relationship. Both of our love languages are physical touch and quality time which arent helped by distance.
The further issue is that we dont have an end goal/distance closer in sight. I will be moving out of my parents house this summer to a city that is even further away (probably 90 minutes total), she considered moving to the city too but says she doesnt want to make the move if im the only reason (which is fair enough i understand that perspective fully). I had tried to push her to move and look for an apprenticeship in that city but she seems to think it will be impossible as theyre super hard to get.
During our conversation last night she said she had kind of made the decision to settle there because it was easier than moving again. We didnt really come to any sort of conclusion, as far as i know we are still together but it feels like its all hanging in the balance.
I want to make this work, i believe we have a good relationship and the only reason for it to end would be 50 minutes of driving, which feels like a waste to me. I considered taking more time off to wrap our heads around the issue but I'm anxious that more space isnt the solution. Im concerned that she will now think im being too needy and anxious as ive made it very clear i dont want things to end.
Any advice would be so appreciated, even just a new perspective!
TLDR: GF (22F) of just over a year recently moved 50 minutes away for work. We have a very good relationship (barre one rough patch where she kissed someone else as our relationship took a hefty dip). Things have been busy and we've struggled to see eachother more than once a week recently. I will be moving further away (90 mins) in summer and we dont have an end goal of distance closer in sight. Im freelance so sometimes can work at her place and see eachother on evenings, she had time to look to move to the city that im moving to but has decided to settle where she is as she doesnt want to make the move just because i am.
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2023.03.25 11:05 FauthyF What 5 albums would you use to perfectly summarize the bands career
And I mean a good summarization. Most people would pick the John albums when in reality in the 40 years the bands existed John hasn’t been in it for half as long. He was originally in it for 4 came back for 11 and has been back since the tail end of 2019 so 3. All together that’s 18 of the bands nearly 40 year career as of this year.
My picks are Uplift Mofo Party Plan (the best Hillel Album)
BSSM (best First John Era album)
One Hot Minute (Dave’s album and very underrated)
Stadium Arcadium (The bands masterpiece if you ask me)
And finally the Getaway( Josh’s best album)
These albums all blend of Fleas and Hillel’s straight funk, John comes with the melodic sound and builds upon that connection, Dave’s crazy heavy metal take on funk, johns return and super brooding intricate guitar alternative, and some of Josh’s experimental and mellow sound all backed up by AK vocal presence and in 4/5 albums Chads great drumming and these albums sound nothing alike except for maybe the first 2. What would your picks be
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2023.03.25 11:04 forgotten_vale2 [Cultivation Chat Group] Not even a school sports day is safe from face-slapping
2023.03.25 11:02 GoudaShoota Bugs/Feedback/Suggestions after 50 hours of closed Beta
Overall, The Finals has a ton of potential if the performance issues can be worked out. My system was only getting about half the frames or less that I get on every other modern shooter. The input delay was atrocious at over 40ms of system latency when my system is under 10ms on any other game. This made the gunplay and movement very lackluster when those are the most important things to me in a shooter game.
Graphics were great. Tone and aesthetics were very fun and gave 'Ready Player One' vibes. Music was good and fitting. Cosmetic combinations will be fun and hopefully kept relatively cheap in credits cost. Training area was a plus for getting your controls set up and learning how to work with the environment and weapons. Menus were clean and easy to navigate.
I enjoyed the action (even with bad performance) and felt my brain trying to quickly come up with creative ways to attack or escape in gunfights in a cat-and-mouse style. Going in and out of buildings as they are destructing and while the environment is rapidly changing is challenging but very rewarding when you are able to adapt and succeed at doing so. I surprised myself with some pretty crazy plays I didn't know I was capable of. Working with a solid team definitely helps.
Please Add the Following:
- ADS Sensitivity Multiplier and ADS FoV options
- "Damage dealt" to scoreboard
- "Healing delivered" to scoreboard
- Enemy Squad wipe notification across screen
- Cloaking is sometimes completely invisible and impossible to see any longer. Seems to be worse on dark and rainy maps.
- Hooking onto ziplines from the ground sometimes doesn’t catch, like they’re too high above your head to clip on to.
- Reviving still grabs and picks up player piece sometimes. Also, if the piece is next to an object like a flower pot or gas cannister, the piece needs to have priority instead of always grabbing objects near it.
- When spectating your teammates, sound was much louder
- During big building damage sequences, performance drops into single digits and is unplayable
- Friendly player collision while running next to each other gets caught on each other, slows down running and stutters
- Running through doors doesn’t always open them
- Fully charged paddles don't always revive
- After respawning or being revived, sometimes my gun can’t fire
- Footstep audio was really hard to pinpoint amongst buildings, sometimes a complete lack of direction. Teammate footsteps seemed louder than enemies most of the time as well
- Killing enemy reduces spawn timer by a couple seconds for your downed teammates?
- Healing Gun seems to be overpowered, especially with 2 or 3 teammates equipping it plus defibs. What if the healing beam turned yellow and temporarily paused while that healed player is taking damage? Or if the healing player takes damage, their beam is turned off the same way cloaking abilities do? When I was in a team of 3 mediums all with beams and defibs, we were untouchable.
I didn't note everything I ran into but this is the best I could do from memory. Game feels like it needs one more closed beta, then a big open beta before final release. I'm looking forward to some more game modes and definitely a few more maps. PLEASE don't release this game until the performance issues and input lag are fixed. Even if it means toning down destruction or something. Whatever needs to be done. Excited to see what the talent at Embark comes up with though.
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to thefinals [link] [comments]
2023.03.25 11:02 butt_laser25 My girlfriend 21F. Was engaged to her ex who cheated on her a year ago. They are still very good friends she cares about him and he is still very close to here. I am 23M and am uncomfortable with it. We are together for 6 months.
As the title says this is our current situation. I am not worried they might end up together as i have never met a girl which would be so dedicated to a person she is currently with. I am not even sure if i love her as much as she does me. She is on good terms with both of her 2 exes and are friends.
Her birthday is coming up shortly and she wants to do a party and wants to invite her last ex who she's had been engaged with. She doesn't see a problem in that he cheated on her and that's why she broke up with him. She says they talked it through and now are good friends and close to each other in that regard as they know each since they were teens. They were together for 3 years.
For me it is quite uncomfortable being around someone who was almost her husband. All i can see is someone who kissed her l, had intimacy with her, were with her, planned life together with.
Thought of him being near me makes me sick because that is all i am thinking about when i see him. Again i am not worried they may get back together as that bridge is already burned to ashes. But just the idea they been together and done stuff together makes me sick
I know very well i cannot changed their past as i can't change my past. I don't want to bring my ex to party and be keen on her showing up. Just to show hey this the bitch i fucked before her
Am i just overreacting about her ex? Or am to I don't know materialistic or what? That i should move on and not think about that stuff? I don't know. It makes me sick and i feel like throwing up.
Are you still friends with your exes and are they part of your life? How do you cope with it if your partner is still friends with theirs ex?
(hope it is understandable enough as i am not that comfortable with my English)
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2023.03.25 11:02 WiseBit5661 Does anyone know of a local gloryhole near Albany? Not Adult World. Dm me.
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2023.03.25 11:01 Chaneluxury Farting around a boyfriend
So I already have severe anxiety about everything but one is using the toilet to take a dump and farting near my partner. I know these are normal things but the smell of mine is absolutely horrific and I don’t want my boyfriend to be disgusted by me. I don’t have a bf yet but I’m scared that when I do, and I take a dump, and idk no amount of air freshener can help the smell then what do I do?
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to NoStupidQuestions [link] [comments]
2023.03.25 11:00 Automatic_Maybe_6637 Toddler sleeping issues (another one)
Hey, firstly I have browsed these pages and have gained heaps of great insights, so thank you to all the contributors. Now it's time for me to come to you asking for advice. My (38m) daughter (nearly 2f) is nearly the perfect child. She is smart, independent, eats everything we offer her and is super happy all the time. My wife (38f) and I are always super impressed how she can happily entertain her self and in a large crowd of family and friends she can walk the room with no fuss. The only issue... she is a terrible sleeper, always has been.
We got in a sleep coach early when we was 6 months just when she started rolling, and it worked for a few months (by work I mean she was waking for a feed once through night and getting up at 5am) but then it stopped we even went to a sleep clinic which was a nightmare and actually made it worse. Just after her 1st birthday we got the sleep coach again, this time it was more to do with routine which we follow. Dinner, short play, bath, read books, milk feed (breast) then bed we try and make sure she is awake but drowsy when we put her down. But the last few months she has been SUPER unsettled waking after 1 hour and then 3-4 times per night. I should also add that I do all the resettling to sleep until its clear she isn't going down. Then my wife takes over. When I am re settling my daughter is always kicking and stretching her legs and the only way I can get her calm and settled is really holding her tight and limiting her movement (does this happen to anyone else)
So I am just looking for advice, we are wary of giving supplements (melatonin or the like)
Any tips or hints from all you super mums and dads?
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to Parenting [link] [comments]
2023.03.25 11:00 AutoModerator Daily Advice Thread - March 25, 2023
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2023.03.25 10:59 red_4 When's a time you felt most like a Seinfeld character?
"Worlds are colliding!"
I've always felt like my romantic relationships are not the business of anybody who believes they know me, like my family. I was seeing this girl. One day I was driving with my older brother, and very upsetly he asks "Why haven't you introduced her to us!?" I didn't answer him, because I was paralyzed with dread at the thought of bringing my girl anywhere near any member of my family. My family are some of the most socially retarded people I've ever encountered in my life. They wouldn't know how to process a harmless meeting with any girl I dated. They would find a way to interpret anything as negative, and linger on it for decades. No no no. There was no way in hell I was going to bring that girl around them.
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2023.03.25 10:59 GanbaruSunshine Follow-Up to my Type Confusion and Socionics Study
Hello! I recently made a post on the main Socionics reddit regarding my confusing between IEE and EIE. https://www.reddit.com/Socionics/comments/11xagi1/studying_socionics_confused_between_eie_and_iee/
I learned a lot from that thread and my conversations with others, and feel like I have a better grasp on the system. In order to not fill up the Socionics reddit with more type confusion stuff, I wanted to follow-up on here to see if someone would help me and continue probing me for questions/info about my type! I have a hard time seeing myself as myself without direct feedback from others, so I've hit a snag in terms of my thinking and research.
I attached parts of the questionnaire as well below, I tried to keep the answers brief since there's so many. ##Section 1 **1. How do you work? Why do people go to work? Are there any parameters that determine whether you can do work or not? What are they?*\
I work in bursts, I have a hard time doing work unless its meaningful to me or benefits others in a way I can see. I think a lot of people go to work just to survive, not necessarily because they enjoy it. That's a system issue which I could go into, but for the sake of this questionnaire, I won't. I think the world would be better if people worked on what they were passionate about and enjoyed and could make a comfortable salary. When I don't agree with the morals/ethics of the work I'm doing, feel it is menial or detrimental to society, I tend to not want to work. Especially if I'm being ordered around. I usually like making my own decisions and being the leader. I'm indecisive, but can be decisive when it comes to figuring out what's best for others. I have a hard time working for myself. I have so many ideas that I'd like to launch and people have told me I have so much potential...but its hard for me to activate it and get going, because I just don't see myself as being that valuable as the wellbeing of others. **2. How do you determine the quality of work? How do you determine the quality of a purchase? Do you pay any attention to it?*\
Quality of work depends on the result. If the result is good, I feel it's okay even if the way it was completed was not "following procedure." Quality of purchase I usually determine by doing research on product and what others are saying. I usually like to get the best product I can even if its something small/not used often. I play a lot of attention to that, also along to how the product makes me feel. **3. There is a professional next to you. How do you know they are a professional? How do you evaluate their skill?*\
Usually based on their status or how other people perceive them. I can be a bit indifferent to a professional, I see people as pretty much equal regardless of their social status/standing. Usually I think there's too much hype around them and sometimes I won't really agree with societies perception if my understanding/experience differs. **4. If you struggle to do something, how do you fix that? Do you know if your performance is better or worse than others?*\
Usually I research or ask others. A lot of times I get stuck on my own in tasks related to myself. Like trying to understand myself. Usually once I talk to someone else I can get a better understanding of what I'm doing wrong and everything clicks. I used to play games competitively and would constantly make the same errors, unable to realizing them myself. Someone would point it out and change my thinking/approach and then I would be able to improve myself as if a weight was lifted. Usually I compare my performance to my past self, I'm most in competition with myself but I also compete against others in private. I want to outdo others, but I'm not cutthroat about it. **5. How do you measure the success of a job? What standard do you use? Do you pay attention to it? When should you deviate from this standard?*\
This is kind of hard for me to answer, I don't focus on the things in this section that much. Usually success for me means not failing or reaching the standard. I seem to prioritize avoiding failure more-so than reaching for success. Failure as in running out of town, losing out, making a fatal error...etc. **Meta-analysis:*\
This whole section is hard to answer, I don't really focus on it. Or well I only do when the need arises, it feels like I need to switch myself over to think about these things, but I'd much rather be invested in other more positive things and not think too much about this. It feels very business like, which I am able to do, but I do these things to achieve the goal of positive change in the world or helping others, reaching my vision.
##Section 2 **1. What is a whole? Can you identify its parts? Are the parts equivalent to the whole?*\
I don't really know??? I think something is whole when it's fully fulfilled? I can identify the parts perhaps, but I don't know if they're equivalent? They're only equivalent if the whole is meaningful as well? Hard for me to answer this one. **2. What does "logical" mean? What is your understanding? Do you think that it correlates with the common view? How do you know you are being logical?*\
Logical to me is about consistency. I don't know if I'm logical or not, but I strive to be when it is needed. I don't really know how to tell, but perhaps I would say I'm being logical if I'm being consistent in my thoughts/methods. To follow-up, I think I can change myself to be almost anything depending on what is needed, but not for long. I think a lot of people feel they are more logical than they really are, especially people who try to remove emotions from the nature of things all together. **3. What is hierarchy? Give examples of hierarchies. Do you need to follow it? Why or why not? Explain how hierarchy is used in a system you are familiar with.*\
Basically things that have status over others. I play/love video games so one of my first thoughts are tier lists, they place certain characters in higher positions due to being innately stronger by whatever criteria is relevant to the game. I never really agreed with this because how can we say something is ALWAYS better than the other? For instance, a person can get really good at a specific characteplaystyle and dominate everyone else. I feel when people focus too much on following these things it becomes dogmatic and takes the fun out of things. Even if you want to win, what is the point if you're not doing it your own way? If you're always following what everyone else is doing, what is the point in anything because its no longer your life. **4. What is classification? How does classification work? Why is it needed and where is it applied? Give examples.*\
Assigning something to a group or discovering what group it belongs to. Like uncovering the nature of an animal by identifying what group it belongs to scientifically. It can be useful to easily identify similarities between different things or create a system that allows you to draw conclusions without extra work. **5. Are your ideas consistent? How do you know they are consistent? How do you spot inconsistency in others' ideas?*\
I would think that they aren't consistent. I don't think it matters though if they are consistent as long as the meaning behind them is consistent. For instance I can change the way I view things pretty easily (and myself) so I wouldn't say I'm a consistent person internally. Outside I can appear as such but its more of a survival based trait less of a natural one. I don't really look to critique inconsistency in others so it's not natural to me. Instead, I like to find certain errors and help a person improve them. Actually the more I think of it, it might be looking for inconsistency. I was always good at proofreading others work, not just for punctuation/grammar, but to see if their ideas make sense in the grand scheme of things. It's unconscious for me to do this, I don't put much thought into it and comes into my head naturally when I see something that feels "incorrect."
An example is when someone is drawing a conclusion and it feels like it's somewhat right, but goes to the state of being extreme. Maybe someone had a bad run-in with a certain gender or culture and they assume all of them are are the same...this doesn't feel right because even though one experience was that way, it's not correct/consistent to assume that all other experiences will be the same. Like correlation does not equal causation? **Meta-analysis:*\
This section felt a bit harder AT FIRST, but when I thought about it more I had an easier time answering than the first one. Again, I don't really focus on these things consciously, but they do annoy me when people can be a little dogmatic about it. I guess this whole section to me boils down to "right vs wrong" and "correct vs incorrect" I feel like something can be the correct approach even if its not moral/emotional/rational, but then something else kicks in and decides not to act on it if it doesn't meat that criteria.
--- ##Section 3 **1. Can you press people? What methods do you use? How does it happen?*\
Not really...I kind of struggle with this. Sometimes I get frustrated, because it seems that people always are standing in my way. Usually its when I'm trying to do something for the betterment of others, they like to hinder me from reaching that goal. I relate to maneuvering around them, I don't really run people over. Or I like outperform them passively...becoming more successful, working hard, becoming a bit more stubborn. **2. How do you get what you want? What do you do if you have to work to get what you want?*\
Usually getting what I want isn't something I'm concerned with, usually it's what others want that's more important. I usually don't mind doing the hard work if its for what others want...but for what I want it's kind of hard to put in the work. **3. How do you deal with opposition? What methods do you use to defend your interests?*\
I can become pretty stubborn. I'm not a person to rely on anger and blow up on people, I'm more likely to try to reason. But I feel like a lot of people can't be reasoned with now, so I try to find alternatives around the conflict. **4. When do you think it's ok to occupy someone's space? Do you recognize it?*\
Does this mean physical space or space as an abstract concept? I think physical space is okay (if it means like tendenot combative) when you're emotionally close to the person. I like giving hugs and being near those who I am close to! Otherwise it's probably not okay! I don't think about this at all really. **5. Do others think you are a strong-willed person? Do you think you have a strong will?*\
I think I can appear to be weak on the surface, but inside I can be stronger than I realize. Actually, I'm not sure if others see me as this way. I've always had people tell me that I'm stronger than them, stronger than anyone they've met. This is strength in an abstract way, not physical. Just being able to outlast, persevere, not give up, work harder, learn faster, etc. I relate to the concept of quiet strength. I'm at my strongest and best when I'm fighting for others though! **Meta-analysis:*\
These concepts are kind of weird, because I don't naturally fight others, but I do enjoy certain aggression. I relate to applying pressure or power or drive when other people aren't. For instance, I sometimes like to turn my brain off in games and brute force myself at opponents. I play a lot of support in games, but sometimes I enjoy fighting and don't normally healbot (just passively healing.) Rushing in headfirst is kind of a thrill.
Now that I think about it, I enjoy being active more than passive. I sometimes appear passive because I don't want to cause harm to others, but I enjoy aggression to an extent. More so passion and less of aggression. Being passionate with my emotions, with people I like, touchy-feely, etc! I love being hands on and like work when I can move around. Not physical labor necessarily, but things that keep me moving. I always learned best from actually experiencing something rather than being told. Again it takes a backseat to what other people want though, so I can turn it down if necessary, but it provides a good release of energy for me to be a little loose!
--- ##Section 4 **1. How do you satisfy your physical senses? What examples can you give? What physical experiences are you drawn to?*\
This is kind of embarrassing, but I feel like satisfying them is almost compulsive for me. I'm attracted to sweets and certain delicacies. I like drinks the most. Food I'm more ambivalent about. Drinks as in things like smoothies, boba tea I loveee, teas of all kinds, milkshakes, all kinds of sweet drinks. I don't drink or smoke, but I like the way these make me feel...like emotionally better.
Also can be a little sexual, but I hide this part from my public image. I think sexual desires are pretty natural and people act like they're more taboo. Not necessarily should be flaunted in a trashy way...but people should accept that its natural to be sexually attracted to people, have different tastes, and want to explore them? Like I can understand why people are turned-off from it, but I think it's not good to deny our own natural instincts.
Ok on top of that, I'm drawn to things like good feelings and rush of excitement/energy! I don't even have to be the one doing it, but seeing other people doing something cool, gives me goosebumps. ANOTHER BIG THING IS MUSIC. I love listening to music and it affects me emotionally. Like I get goosebumps easily from songs that touch me to core. Sound is very big for me, I rely on it for everything. Sight would be next or maybe touch.
I love to move around and run. I run pretty much everywhere which can be kind of weird. But I always wondered why people just walk places...? Like its so much more fun to run and you can get to where you're going faster. It's nice to run when its windy too, it creates the perfect atmosphere. I think I'm getting carried away so I'll stop here. **2. How do you find harmony with your environment? How do you build a harmonious environment? What happens if this harmony is disturbed?*\
Hmm, I don't really know. I don't understand somewhat. Harmony with my environment is it like being comfortable? Because I'm comfortable when everyone else around is comfortable. So I usually work to make others comfortable. Sometimes I wish I was on my own, because I feel I would be perfectly comfortable and not have to be oriented to everyone else all the time. I have lived like that before though and was pretty set in inertia/apathy, becoming a slave to my impulses.
For instance in college, I moved out of my family home and stayed in a solo dorm. It was nice having the freedom at first, but it started to reinforce my worse habits. Without external expectations/motivations, I couldn't find a reason to do much of anything. So I ended up not going to classes, not finishing my work, becoming sluggish. The more alone I stayed the more sluggish and worn down I became. Instead of correcting it, I turned to impulsive needs...binging TV and the like. It wasn't until I was forced out of that environment that I turned back to my normal self again.
So sometimes my harmony being disturbed is beneficial to wake me up out of inertia. **3. What does comfort mean to you? How do you create it?*\
Comfort means being in a good state that allows me to be emotionally stable. State as in a mindset, or harboring/staying true to positive emotional feelings. Being comfortable that I won't be attacked for being myself or not necessarily having to bend to the needs of everyone else. I...don't necessarily create it I'm usually forced into it after everything else falls to the wayside.
Outside of that, I sometimes force myself to have this comfort by taking time away from the outside world...while also being connected to the outside world? Like it could be picking up a book I've always wanted to read or manga/anime I've wanted to watch. Playing a game that is solo and just delving into the story. Or thinking about myself and life and what I want out of it. Basically I get the comfort when I focus on my needs for a change, and not everyone elses. OH comfort also comes when I have a guide/goal to follow. I don't like being restricted or forced to do something, but again I can feel aimless when there's no clear path, next steps, or goal for me to work towards. Again I start feeling like things are static and unchanging and it's depressing. So when I have something like that, I feel comfortable and really get in touch with my inner strength. **4. How do you express yourself in your hobbies? How do you engage yourself with those things?*\
OH this is fun! My hobbies are what's really real and true to me! Like I enjoy my hobbies and turn the knowledge I gain from them, experiences, and well the emotional energy into my pursuits in the real world. I'd feel most at home doing work related to my hobbies as long as it's benefiting the world in some way. I don't really have a preference for escaping or running away from problems using them. Sometimes it helps me quiet down my anxiety though.
My hobbies are writing, music, games, anime/manga, and collecting! I enjoy collecting things that are meaningful to me such as figurines...I also like crystals. Usually I represent these things and carry them with me to keep myself grounded and motivated. My wardrobe is based a lot on my hobbies as well.
My passion for these things usually is what takes me into new experiences, I became a leader and met most of my close relationships through my interests. I feel like it's a part I've come to neglect as I've gotten older because it takes a backseat to what I feel I need to do or should do to support others/my family. But its still very important to me.
**5. Tell us how you'd design any room, house or an office. Do you do it yourself, or trust someone else to do it? Why?*\
I usually talk big and say I'd do it myself...then end up asking for help because I'm indecisive! When I was younger I was much more confident just relying on my own perception and likes/dislikes for what I made/designed. For some reason getting older made me less confident in my own ability to judge that, so sometimes I have to seek out others to tell me. I don't always like to do that though, because it loses it's personal meaning for me when I share too much of my interests/ideas with others. It doesn't feel special anymore. **Meta-analysis:*\
This section was really fun to write about! It also makes me feel a bit bad, because I feel like I've neglected myself here and should focus on this more.
--- ##Section 5 **1. Is it acceptable to express emotions in public? Give examples of inappropriate expression of emotions.*\
Yes I think it's acceptable as long as it's not overdone to the point of being phony/attention-seeking. Some things can be kind of trashy, such as excessive displays of affection. I think people are too harsh on others who display emotion out in the open though! Like those who end up crying due to the pressure/stress they face. I've always tried not to show my worse sides to maintain a certain image/stability. The times I've cried in public have been very few and could be counted on one hand. But I don't judge others for doing so. **2. How do you express your emotions? Can you tell how your expressions affect others in a positive or negative way?*\
I don't think I express them that well...at least in real life. I much prefer communicating my emotions via text and find it hard to be fully vulnerable with someone face-to-face. I don't think it's because I'm not emotional though, I relate to most things through emotion. It's just perhaps an insecurity that I gained due to the environment I was in. I've had harden myself to withstand some of worse parts of life and sometimes I feel people will think less of me if I'm fully myself. It slips out online though because its a place I'm much more comfortable with, almost with my family. Again just positive emotions, I tend to hide my negative emotions a bit better. When I was younger, I was described as having a poker face, but I would mostly keep a pleasant expression at most times. **3. Are you able to change your demeanor in order to interact with your environment in a more or less suitable way? How do you determine what is suitable?*\
It's not necessarily to interact with the environment, I feel I naturally become what people see in me. I have trouble typing myself because of this. If someone tells me I am IEE I will be an IEE. If someone says I'm EIE, I will act like that. My image will shift to match the expectations of others in a way. It's not even something I want to do, but I can't turn it off. It's more or less what's suitable, but what would make the person feel better. **4. In what situations do you feel others' feelings? Can you give examples of when you wanted to improve the mood of others?*\
Usually I feel emotion/feelings in regards to everything. Things (even objects) seem to be emotion colored. As in when I look at something in invokes some type of feeling. The same goes for anyone I'm interacting with. So of course I look for the best way to improve someones feelings. I had a struggle with this when I worked in education, I conflicted with other educators because they were focused on the accuracy of the material and doing things from their perspective. I was more focused on the students emotional/mental state and if they were feeling good/healthy. I felt they learned more when someone adequately addressed their needs holistically, as humans. More so than when the focus was on memorization of material. **5. How do others' emotions affect you? How does your internal emotional state correlate or contrast with what you express?*\
They affect me so much. Its almost like I absorb them. When I was younger people would describe me almost like a sponge...but unlike a sponge I wouldn't hold onto the emotions. It would go inside and flow through me, I'd experience it and then it'd flow out. Now I feel like I can hold onto them more when I'm less healthy. Usually my internal state is hard to portray. I try to express myself, but sometimes its hard to get the right words or adequately put the feeling into words. That's why I tend to focus so much more on others. Understanding everyone else is easier...myself is the real mystery. **Meta-analysis:*\
Again this section was easy for me to answer, but it felt a little more serious. Still not bad though! ##Section 6 **1. How can you tell how much emotional space there is between yourself and others? How can you affect this space?*\
Don't really know how to answer this. I don't understand the concept of emotional space. Does this mean like a gap between my feelings and others? I feel like I only fee this when I'm alone then, when I'm with others the feelings merge together. **2. How do you determine how much you like or dislike someone else? How does this affect your relationships?*\
Usually based on how they treat others and what values they hold (also how they act on those values.) I don't really like individuals who are really controlling of others and judge them for their behavior, but honestly I can see a charm in most behavior quirks! Things that are just bad no matter like racism, sexism, homophobia, etc are pretty much non negotiable, especially if they're causing direct harm to others because of those values.
I also don't like when people try to overrun or discount my own values or try to shape my values into something they're not. This has caused me to end a few relationships. Sometimes I end up leaving the relationship because I've noticed how merged I am with my partner and it bothers me. I've lost some really good relationships though...when all that was needed were a few boundaries. So I regret this tendency. **3. How do you move from a distant relationship to a close one? What are the distinguishing characteristics of a close relationship?*\
This happens kind of naturally...but usually I become more engaged with someone who needs help. I make friends very easily, they usually end up seeking me out. I sometimes act as the person to do things for them, take initiative, while they're a bit more passive. I'm not necessarily seeking that role but I naturally meld into it. Most close friends/partners I had were due to me offering to help them and taking an interest in their development.
I mentioned this before but people tend to follow me around? Like physically and literally...look to me to lead them. I sometimes express discomfort on the service but I enjoy it being connected to a person this way and serving as a guide for them. Usually they help me by providing constant support/affection.
Close relationships are usually ones though where I can be my vulnerable self. They don't have as many expectations from me anymore and I can just be what I am. But I don't usually know what I am...so I hope they can help me find this too. **4. How do you know that you are a moral person? Where do you draw your morality from? Do you believe others should share your beliefs on what's moral? Why?*\
Hmm, I don't really know if I am one. I try to do the right thing, and that's pretty much it. There's not really anything else I think about, I only really know what bothers me when it occurs in a real situation. Real or maybe an example of one. I just try to do what's right for others and myself...but I learned being right is hard...sometimes and not clear cut. I don't think people need to share my beliefs, I don't think I'd force them on others. People just need to be respectful of others beliefs...but not if they're just pure hate. I think sometimes we're too tolerant to beliefs that are actually not beliefs just hate. **5. Someone you care about is acting distant to you. How do you know when this attitude is a reflection of your relationship?*\
Don't really know...I think I wouldn't really think of this as a relationship issue but more of something being wrong with the person. Usually when someone is consistently different, I don't have much drive to maintain contact. **Meta-analysis:*\
This sections feels a little abstract, so I can't really answer properly...I don't see things or relationships this way, the whole concept of "relationship" as something separate doesn't really occur to me. I just think of the other person.
--- ##Section 7 **1. How can you tell someone has the potential to be a successful person? What qualities make a successful person and why?*\
I think almost everyone has the potential to change themselves for the better. Success isn't about career, money, status...to me its more about utilizing your strengths and pursuing your passion to be what you want to be. If a person wants to live comfortable then that's their version of success. If another wants to be the president, that's their version. Neither are incorrect as long as they are happy and fulfilled. **2. Where would you start when looking for a new hobby? How do you find new opportunities and how do you choose which would be best?*\
Hmm I don't really go out looking for hobbies. My interests were formed naturally by things I felt a connection to. I have a hard time narrowing down new opportunities to ones that I'd really think are best but searching for them again seems pretty easy, like I don't need to think about it. **3. How do you interpret the following statement: "Ideas don't need to be feasible in order to be worthwhile." Do you agree or disagree, and why?*\
I don't really agree or disagree, because what is feasible? What is an example of an non-feasible idea? One that can't be applied realistically in this current moment? Well how do we know it can't be applied? Like who is the judge? I think almost anything can be possible, we just may not be aware of the method to make it possible yet. So I feel like any idea holds merit and shouldn't be constrained by what's real right now. **4. Describe your thought process when relating the following ideas: swimming, chicken, sciences. Do you think that others would draw the same or different connections?*\
Chickens may swim in lakes sometimes and a scientist might study why chickens are doing so. Perhaps this is unusual behavior for chickens to be swimming so they're taking an look into the cause of this behavior? Or maybe they found a way to enhance the taste of chicken by swimming through a certain body of water? That sounds really stupid but popped in my head! Perhaps someones an actual "chicken" or coward and swimming to get away from their science exam. There's many things I can think of with this haha. I don't think people would think the same, but there's so many things you could link this to.
Another one...there's been research on swimming science...perhaps a new swimming technique that replicates the movements of a chicken. Or maybe some scientists thought it'd be cool to eat chicken while swimming to get newfound inspiration? I could keep going but I'll stop because these sound stupid lol. **5. How would you summarize the qualities that are essential to who you are? What kind of potential in you has yet to be actualized and why?*\
I don't...really know. I mean I do know but also don't. The qualities most important to me are being open-minded and adaptable, being kind, having hope and perseverance. I would hate to become a close-minded, stuck in the mud person. I want to believe in things even if they're silly or unrealistic. Life is magical and I think people should take things less seriously some times. Not everything needs to be proved to have value.
Potential that has yet to be actualized...probably a lot. I feel like I could do a lot of good for this world and others, but I'm holding myself back. Why? I don't really know why, but perhaps I'm scared of being too much or even more so, scared of not being able to realize this. If I try my hardest and still fail, then what is left?
At the same time, I think other's see my potential more than I see it myself. **Meta-analysis:*\
Nothing much to say about this one, seemed pretty straightforward to me!
--- ##Section 8 **1. How do people change? Can you describe how various events change people? Can others see those changes?*\
Nature vs nurture is what comes to mind. Some people are dealt a hand and they may not change much from that. Others are changed by life and their circumstances. I think trauma is a big thing that changes people...also the demands of our world. The world we live in or well our "society" is not built to support everyone. It's not fair and it's not right, so I can see people being forced to change just to survive. This really bothers me. Other people can see those changes, but I think sometimes those who are lucky to fit well with this society tend to look the other way. **2. How do you feel and experience time? Can time be wasted? How?*\
I don't? I can sometimes pinpoint exactly what time it is without a clock. Other times I can be very off. I don't really think time is wasted unless you're doing something you don't like. If its fun its not a waste as its contributing to your wellness of spirit. **3. Is there anything that cannot be described with words? What is it? If so, how can we understand what it is if language does not work?*\
A lot of things...probably the inner nature of humans. For me, I can't express what I truly feel inside. It comes out somewhat, but it's never what I truly feel or imagine. There are other things like invisible bonds we have to others, things you just know without needing to explain. Being bonded or drawn to someone or something for no particular reason...you can't really describe it or what causes it...it just happens.
To understand it...well you can't really? At least not fully. If you could, it'd ruin the nature of it. To me this feels more like something spiritual than a material world issue. **4. How do you anticipate events unfolding? How can you observe such unfoldments in your environment?*\
Usually I can tell the direction something is headed by the patterns that are present. It doesn't need to be a direct correlation, there doesn't need to be proof...sometimes there's just a feeling. Knowing that its right, or at least being very sure. If asked to explain it can't really be explained...but you just know? Also based off past trends and behavior. I look at symbols or experiences I've had before or witnessed in different places (past experiences, representations in media, in other things.) Honestly I enjoy fiction because it teaches so much about why things happen and HOW they happen. So by understanding the cause/effect in fiction, you can identify the same in the real world. **5. In what situations is timing important? How do you know the time is right to act? How do you feel about waiting for the right moment?*\
There's an instinct to just do it. Like the meme, but I've always thought there's a lot of truth in it. I think you'll just know, but the question is less of knowing the time and more of getting yourself to have the courage to take the step. I've missed a lot of things because I knew the time was right...felt it to my core, but I didn't believe in it or myself enough to act on it. Those are my biggest regrets honestly. Of course I was instantly proven right, that I did actually know and I should've acted. But I just couldn't do it.
Waiting for the right moment has merit too! I do that sometimes when the answer isn't clear. Again its just a gut instinct, nothing concrete to base it off. When I feel it, I get a sense inside that I should wait. Almost like some inner voice tells me to wait it out. I'll try to force things sometimes, but it never goes well. It goes back to "just wait." Eventually the right time appears and I realize it was worth waiting for. **Meta-analysis:*\
I liked this section, it feels like a part of myself that was...lost to history, but was brought to light again.
THIS WAS A LOT TO WRITE. SORRY IF THERE ARE ERRORS. IF YOU READ THIS WHOLE THING THANKS SO MUCH FOR TAKING THE TIME TO HELP ME!
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2023.03.25 10:57 Chance_Extent_9952 Which Shelly to use or wait for matter support?
I’m new to smarthome setups and I got shutters which I’d like to use with HomeKit / Siri (Homepods).
Therefore I’ve read multiple articles and came up with the following solutions:
- Shelly 2.5 (older model) Used with either flashing the OS to Mongoose or implement via Homebridge (HB) / Home Assistant (HA)
- Shelly plus 2pm (new model) Used with HB / HA
I’m not very into with HB / HA (yet) and therefore I’d like to use a direct HomeKit version.
Now I’ve read that Matter will come to Shelly (announced from the company that produce Shelly) and its planned for Q2 2023 (which is pretty near in the future)
Is there any new information about that except that one statement here: https://www.theverge.com/23547154/matter-smart-home-new-devices-ces-2023
How comfortable and complicated to set up is the control via HA / HB? I’m not a programmer so it could be confusing for me.
Is there maybe any other solution that already got HomeKit implemented but without spending 80€/Module?
submitted by Chance_Extent_9952
to shellycloud [link] [comments]
2023.03.25 10:57 Chronoflyt The Soul's Newb's Journey 2: The Horseman and the Well-done Cow
Gyouba Oniwa - 0!
Blazing Bull - 1
After all the trouble I went through learning the mechanics through Lady Butterfly, I can honestly say it was well worth the struggle. Obviously, I haven't mastered the game by any stretch of the imagination, but funnily enough, the game is far easier when I'm not blocking swords with my face. Lady Butterfly not only taught me to parry and be on guard for unguarded attacks, she taught me that nearly constant aggression is the key to victory. That is a lesson that has done wonders.
Gyouba Oniwa was a fun, if short, battle. I'm not sure if that additional attack power from defeating Lady Butterfly first made this fight far easier than it otherwise may have been, but both times I seemed to break his posture very quickly . On the whole, there's not much to comment on other than the fact that he was quite fun.
The Blazing Bull went down quite similar to Oniwa. I had a bad start out of the gate with the wrong items equipped which flustered me and generally ruined the encounter until Mr. Bull put me out of my misery. The second time around went a lot smoother. I think I may have used the firecrackers once (any more and that wouldn't beef fair), but aside from that, keeping up constant pressure and a few good deflects put this high-steaks boss to bed.
There's many more deaths on my horizon, but for now, I'm loving the game and the challenge it poses.
Lady Butterfly: 50
Blazing Bull: 1
Gyouba Oniwa: 0
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to Sekiro [link] [comments]
2023.03.25 10:56 aIexandra69 TIFU by telling my boyfriend I’ve slept with his cousin
What happened between my boyfriend’s cousin and I was a one night stand at a party before my boyfriend and I even met let alone started dating, I also didn’t even know they were cousins. Anyways, a couple of weeks ago after six months of us being together my boyfriend wanted me to meet his family, he drove us outside of the city to their town which is about an hour drive away. You know one of those days where everything is going so smoothly you know a fuck up is bound to happen? Yeah it felt like that. I met his parents and siblings then about half an hour later his aunt came in with her husband, followed by their son. I had to take one look at his face to experience a mild heart attack at the ripe age of twenty one. And then my boyfriend introduced him as his cousin, let’s call him Ryan, who I’ve been hearing all sorts of stories about, they’re as thick as thieves and basically just like brothers.
Ryan was a bit shocked but nowhere near the state of absolute mortification I was in. I literally froze. All I could think about is what my boyfriend’s incredibly nice family would think about me had they known what I actually did with not one of their sons, but two. Ryan was all cool and collective when he “introduced himself” to me as if it’s our first time ever meeting. I was a bit relieved and hoped he just forgot about me. But that was the furthest thing from the truth. Throughout dinner I was feeling seriously anxious cause all I could think about was how tf would I tell my boyfriend something like that? I knew there’s a high possibility of him never looking at me the same. I excused myself to the bathroom and in the midst of me panicking and trying to get a hold of one of my friends or sisters to ask for moral support, Ryan comes in and tells me to calm down and that we don’t have to tell my boyfriend anything about a meaningless one night stand that happened a long time ago. The idea of keeping it a “secret” sounded awful to me, but I thought what could be the harm of keeping the past in the past, and it’s not like I gave my boyfriend a list of every man I’ve slept with.
I’ve been having a guilty conscience ever since. And today in the middle of our drive up to their town to celebrate his sister’s engagement, I decide that I couldn’t handle being in the same room as Ryan and keeping what happened a secret from my boyfriend, I thought that he simply deserved to know, if I was in his shoes I would’ve wanted to. Sooo he didn’t exactly react very well, and he hasn’t said a word to me ever since we’ve arrived at his family’s house, I’m currently upstairs in his room alone, his sister came up to me and told me that him and Ryan were having a fight, I felt insanely bad and embarrassed for causing unnecessary drama but I didn’t want to meddle between them and make things worst or more awkward so I simply am still upstairs venting to Reddit about how much I fucked up.
TL;DR I admitted to my boyfriends that I slept with his cousin prior to us dating while we were driving up to his family’s home and caused a bit of unnecessary drama
submitted by aIexandra69
to tifu [link] [comments]
2023.03.25 10:56 throwRA164927 I (24f) have a hard time communicating my emotions to my best friend (20f)
This is going to be a long post. For some quick background before I start, my best friend is my coworker (different shifts) and also my roommate. We’ve been best friends for nearly a year.
Earlier today, one of our coworkers and mutual friends stopped by. This was about 1-2 hours before my best friend was getting off work. We sat on the couch and talked about some of our common interests we didn’t realize we had shared previously, and eventually, she came home. They had plans to hang out, but nothing concrete. The exact things they were doing ended up being developed while we were all together.
I asked if I could go too, since I never join my friend with our coworkers and was hoping to try to make an additional friend so I don’t feel so awkward when she comes over. I have a lot of social anxiety, so making new friends is difficult for me.
My best friend seemed a little surprised I asked to go, and she said in response, “okay yeah, but how about X and I go to pick up this thing and then we’ll come back and pick you up”. Idk why, but at this point it felt like she didn’t really want me to go. I chalked it up to me just being anxious, and agreed to wait for them to return. Idk the exact amount of time passed, but I ended up waiting on that couch for about 2 hours before I accepted they weren’t coming back.
I was really sad at this point, and kept obsessively checking my texts in case I had missed them letting me know their plans had changed. I didn’t want to text or call first, even though I was tempted, since I didn’t want to come off as clingy or insecure.
Feeling quite hurt, I ended up just laying in my room, in the dark, just being sad and angry.
My best friend sent me a text about 4, nearly 5 hours after they had left, saying they took a detour somewhere, got lost, and would be heading back soon. The city where we live is very hard to get lost in. Phone maps are very easily usable and accessible. At the end of this text, she said she hopes I still want to hang out and that she’s bringing me a sundae. I could already feel my frustration start to dissipate, but it just felt like she did this in anticipation of me being upset???
I sent her a text a moment ago explaining that it sucked and really hurt that the one time I ask to join her when she’s hanging out with one of our coworkers, she just forgets about me and doesn’t even think to let me know that their plans changed and they won’t be coming back anytime soon. I told her that next time if she wants to hang out with them alone, to just let me know. But I can’t help but feel like my feelings are invalid or wrong.
TLDR; I feel like my best friend intentionally left me out after I asked to join her hanging out with our coworkemutual friend. Idk how to properly articulate this without feeling like I’m wrong in someway. Any advice?
submitted by throwRA164927
to relationship_advice [link] [comments]