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Career options for someone who hates studies
2023.06.06 05:32 guy_fawkes6 Career options for someone who hates studies
What are a few career paths for someone that hates studying. My younger brother just passed 10th grade barely with 50% marks. He hates studying, barely passed in mathematics and his fundamentals of maths and science are non-existent. This is in part due to a lot of family problems he had to face growing up. But at this point it seems that it's too late for him to be taught everything from the fundamentals. I studied away from home since he was young and wasn't aware of the extent of his hatred of studying. He's at a point where he can sit with a book for hours but gain nothing out of it. He can't understand 11th grade maths because he barely knows 6th grade maths.
Now he is being forced to take up PCM in 11-12 by my parents because they are under the assumption that atleast he will have options after 12th grade.
My question is what are alternative career paths he can choose that can help him lead a self sufficient life, earn enough for himself and his family and be happy with what he does. Owing o the current situation, I am very sure he will never be interested in doing anything remotely academical or technical. Please make suggestions on career paths or even how I can proceed to help him make the correct decisions.
submitted by guy_fawkes6 to india [link] [comments]
Now he is being forced to take up PCM in 11-12 by my parents because they are under the assumption that atleast he will have options after 12th grade.
My question is what are alternative career paths he can choose that can help him lead a self sufficient life, earn enough for himself and his family and be happy with what he does. Owing o the current situation, I am very sure he will never be interested in doing anything remotely academical or technical. Please make suggestions on career paths or even how I can proceed to help him make the correct decisions.
2023.06.06 05:31 sadlegofrog I’m (21f) worried my best friend (21f) is in an abusive relationship and need advice on how to help her
(ALL NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED)
Lisa (21f) and I (21f) have been best friends since childhood and have grown into adulthood together. She started dating her boyfriend, George (23m), over three years ago and I honestly never really liked him but I never told her that. I just wanted to support her because she was happy.
Recently, I found out through a mutual friend, Emma (23f), that George had asked her some really weird stuff over text two years ago. He had told her sexual fantasies he had of her and asked if she’s a virgin or if she’s touched herself. It was really gross and invasive. Emma and George were in this big friend group that stems from a religious youth group community. After those texts, Emma had told their friends about it and all of George’s friends cut him off. She also tried to get help through the youth group’s organizers who ended up brushing her off. Word got to George’s parents and siblings and they did nothing about it because they care too much about their family’s reputation in the community and they were just happy he could find a girlfriend.
Emma ended up telling me about this when we had gotten closer this year. She didn’t have support from anyone in this community who would back her up upon telling Lisa. The instant I found out, I had to tell Lisa. I couldn’t believe no one had told her in the two years since it had happened. Emma and I devised a plan to break the news to Lisa with another close friend of Lisa’s.
We tried our best to make it not feel like we were ganging up on her and we tried to find a safe space to do it in so she could feel supported. She was obviously in shock and quite distraught upon finding out. It was like a 2 hour kind of hug session where we just held her and talked to her about it all.
Later that night, George sent Emma an apology that literally said “I’m sorry for making you feel like you were being harassed” and said stuff about how he doesn’t want it to look like he’s that kind of person. BS apology in my opinion. Textbook level gaslighting.
The next day, I went to go check on Lisa. She came out and hugged me thanking me for being such a good friend. But then she said… “but I’ve made my decision and I’m staying with him.” Not only that, but she said she’s going to have to end our friendship too bc she can’t see both of those relationships co-existing. I’m her closest friend in the world. Best friends since childhood. I know her better than anyone. This is insane. From my pov, he has this strange control over her disguised as love. I think he’s been manipulating her all these years and now he’s winning as she cuts off all of her friends.
I asked her what George thought about her leaving her friends and he told her “do whatever you have to do”. He showed no concern about his girlfriend losing any outside support system other than him. That’s not something a partner should just accept like that. She’s told me that he is possessive of her. Every time we have every hung out he always calls her and she kind of stiffens up and goes to another room to speak to him privately. She’s told me before that she felt like she was playing therapist when he lost all his friends for no reason (except now we know the reason), and that it was really hard on her. All these things I’ve noticed about their relationship are all making sense now. The night that we had told her the news, Emma had seen Lisa’s phone light up with about 100 messages from George, and that was before he even knew what was happening. And again, the fact that he basically sexually harassed her friend should be enough reason for them to break up. He basically tried to cheat on Lisa but wasn’t good enough at it because Emma is actually a good person. Above all, he seems controlling and I am worried for her safety. I don’t know what to do.
I am even more concerned that it was so easy for her to just dump all of her friends for a boy. She is not that kind of person. This is her first relationship, the first guy who’s ever liked her. She’s always been a hopeless romantic and loves being in love but I think she’s so blinded by her optimism that she can’t see the danger she’s in. Every since the start, I felt weird about their relationship but didn’t know why. Now I know why. What should I do to help her? I need all the advice I can get.
TLDR; Best friend’s bf harassed a her other friend over text years ago. He has also been controlling throughout their relationship. When best friend found out what happened, she cut off all of her friends instead of her bf. I’m worried for her safety in this relationship.
submitted by sadlegofrog to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
Lisa (21f) and I (21f) have been best friends since childhood and have grown into adulthood together. She started dating her boyfriend, George (23m), over three years ago and I honestly never really liked him but I never told her that. I just wanted to support her because she was happy.
Recently, I found out through a mutual friend, Emma (23f), that George had asked her some really weird stuff over text two years ago. He had told her sexual fantasies he had of her and asked if she’s a virgin or if she’s touched herself. It was really gross and invasive. Emma and George were in this big friend group that stems from a religious youth group community. After those texts, Emma had told their friends about it and all of George’s friends cut him off. She also tried to get help through the youth group’s organizers who ended up brushing her off. Word got to George’s parents and siblings and they did nothing about it because they care too much about their family’s reputation in the community and they were just happy he could find a girlfriend.
Emma ended up telling me about this when we had gotten closer this year. She didn’t have support from anyone in this community who would back her up upon telling Lisa. The instant I found out, I had to tell Lisa. I couldn’t believe no one had told her in the two years since it had happened. Emma and I devised a plan to break the news to Lisa with another close friend of Lisa’s.
We tried our best to make it not feel like we were ganging up on her and we tried to find a safe space to do it in so she could feel supported. She was obviously in shock and quite distraught upon finding out. It was like a 2 hour kind of hug session where we just held her and talked to her about it all.
Later that night, George sent Emma an apology that literally said “I’m sorry for making you feel like you were being harassed” and said stuff about how he doesn’t want it to look like he’s that kind of person. BS apology in my opinion. Textbook level gaslighting.
The next day, I went to go check on Lisa. She came out and hugged me thanking me for being such a good friend. But then she said… “but I’ve made my decision and I’m staying with him.” Not only that, but she said she’s going to have to end our friendship too bc she can’t see both of those relationships co-existing. I’m her closest friend in the world. Best friends since childhood. I know her better than anyone. This is insane. From my pov, he has this strange control over her disguised as love. I think he’s been manipulating her all these years and now he’s winning as she cuts off all of her friends.
I asked her what George thought about her leaving her friends and he told her “do whatever you have to do”. He showed no concern about his girlfriend losing any outside support system other than him. That’s not something a partner should just accept like that. She’s told me that he is possessive of her. Every time we have every hung out he always calls her and she kind of stiffens up and goes to another room to speak to him privately. She’s told me before that she felt like she was playing therapist when he lost all his friends for no reason (except now we know the reason), and that it was really hard on her. All these things I’ve noticed about their relationship are all making sense now. The night that we had told her the news, Emma had seen Lisa’s phone light up with about 100 messages from George, and that was before he even knew what was happening. And again, the fact that he basically sexually harassed her friend should be enough reason for them to break up. He basically tried to cheat on Lisa but wasn’t good enough at it because Emma is actually a good person. Above all, he seems controlling and I am worried for her safety. I don’t know what to do.
I am even more concerned that it was so easy for her to just dump all of her friends for a boy. She is not that kind of person. This is her first relationship, the first guy who’s ever liked her. She’s always been a hopeless romantic and loves being in love but I think she’s so blinded by her optimism that she can’t see the danger she’s in. Every since the start, I felt weird about their relationship but didn’t know why. Now I know why. What should I do to help her? I need all the advice I can get.
TLDR; Best friend’s bf harassed a her other friend over text years ago. He has also been controlling throughout their relationship. When best friend found out what happened, she cut off all of her friends instead of her bf. I’m worried for her safety in this relationship.
2023.06.06 05:30 oldmanherbz Is Rumble Dead?
 | on Steam there's barely any players. I don't understand it's such a cool game. Is it more lively on other platforms? submitted by oldmanherbz to RUMBLEvr [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/fgahg0ovhb4b1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=4649f089e060e48191819392e43e097ced17e9e9 |
2023.06.06 05:27 AutoModerator [Download Course] Allie Bjerk – Tiny Offer Lab (Genkicourses.site)
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2023.06.06 05:27 Ok_Common_1013 What if I don’t want to reach extinction?
I really enjoy Happy Hour with friends. I enjoy wineries, breweries, wine while cooking, and with a meal. I want to be able to do these things, enjoy them, and just not go overboard. So, what if I don’t want to reach extinction?
submitted by Ok_Common_1013 to Alcoholism_Medication [link] [comments]
2023.06.06 05:25 kllpmm i love cleaning meticulous things.
 | i love cleaning things that people typically dont clean. things in hard to reach places, things that need specialized tools to clean them, things that take hours to clean. if i could spend my life cleaning with no time restraint and nobody telling what i had to i would be so happy. i spent 2 hours cleaning the bottoms of my new [used] shoes that had gunk on the bottom with a dull knife and a toothbrush. it was the best two hours of my life. hope someone can enjoy. submitted by kllpmm to autism [link] [comments] |
2023.06.06 05:24 JinBu2166 Feeling like Sisyphus
I am tired of working and it has only been 7 years post college. The first 4 years were spent at several ad agencies in New York where upon being hired I was asked to simply learn something like “Python” or “R” over the course of a week despite having no dev experience and the position only asking for Excel proficiency.
After adding these skills to my resumé (as well as the demonstrable working experience), I took another job as a contracted “research analyst” with no benefits at a start up that turned out to be yet another underpaid developer gig. Some 5 months into the position I was the last person on my team left and after another 6 months of 60-70hr weeks later, I single-handedly built the reporting platform and API used by everyone in the company and it wasn’t until I had another job offer that they decided to hire me full time. I cracked had a mental breakdown and took a month off.
The next job was horribly easy, but what I needed. Managed to automate 85% of the work and effectively worked 5hrs a week. Horribly unfulfilling work with stakeholders talking down to us like children, but I was happy. Then big tech came knocking promising prestige and pay and I bit.
Now I’m working 40-50 hours a week in a client facing position because I don’t have the chops to be a SWE, and I fucking hate it. I work with entitles sales people and clients, managers who couldn’t survive a weeks worth of what we do since they’re all MBAs with no practical experience. People CHUG the corporate kool-ade here and I’m starting to notice a concerning hate in my soul for society.
Idk just thought I’d share.
submitted by JinBu2166 to antiwork [link] [comments]
After adding these skills to my resumé (as well as the demonstrable working experience), I took another job as a contracted “research analyst” with no benefits at a start up that turned out to be yet another underpaid developer gig. Some 5 months into the position I was the last person on my team left and after another 6 months of 60-70hr weeks later, I single-handedly built the reporting platform and API used by everyone in the company and it wasn’t until I had another job offer that they decided to hire me full time. I cracked had a mental breakdown and took a month off.
The next job was horribly easy, but what I needed. Managed to automate 85% of the work and effectively worked 5hrs a week. Horribly unfulfilling work with stakeholders talking down to us like children, but I was happy. Then big tech came knocking promising prestige and pay and I bit.
Now I’m working 40-50 hours a week in a client facing position because I don’t have the chops to be a SWE, and I fucking hate it. I work with entitles sales people and clients, managers who couldn’t survive a weeks worth of what we do since they’re all MBAs with no practical experience. People CHUG the corporate kool-ade here and I’m starting to notice a concerning hate in my soul for society.
Idk just thought I’d share.
2023.06.06 05:21 Unhappy-Network-2923 AITA for constantly wanting to hang out with my best friend?
I (23) and my BFF (22) have been best friends since 5th grade and have spent all of our high school years together and even go to the same college together. However, recently she has got a boyfriend who she is constantly around. This is her first boyfriend ever and she really likes him. Ive always HATED 3rd wheeling but i dealt with it since they like each other so much. They have been together for 6 months now and have not hugged and only have held hands twice. BFF does not like physical touch so it makes sense but all our friends constantly bring it up and pressure them to at least hug. They always pressure them to hang out everywhere, even when Im hanging out with BFF. And usually they do hang out everywhere. For example, BFF and I were supposed to get lunch and I went to the cafe we were supposed to meet up at and waited an hour. She doesn’t show up and she wont answer my calls so I go home. 4 hours later she calls me back and apologizes because she was hanging out with her boyfriend. I told her that i’m happy that she got a boyfriend but that doesn’t mean she should forget about our friendship. She understands and says she will put more of an effort. Then for my birthday we were supposed to go to a party together and hang out. Instead though she never shows up and never gives me a call. I go home and just cry for my birthday instead. The next day I get a call apologizing again, I just accepted her apology and hung up, not wanting to deal with it. I talked to her boyfriend about it but he just called me a cockblocker and that i’m hanging out with her too much anyway. So i talked to our friends and they said that BFF and boyfriend need to hang out more anyway and that i’m clingy when it comes to her. Im really just lost and confused because I feel as though I barely see her now anyway and I just want to hang out with my best friend at least once a month. So AITA?
Also I hope this made since because english isn’t my first language.
submitted by Unhappy-Network-2923 to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]
Also I hope this made since because english isn’t my first language.
2023.06.06 05:20 C_137_Rick Got fired because team assessed I was about to go on a maternity leave as my wife was pregnant.
Pretty much what the heading says... I was told that I was not required and given a BS reason of underperformance when my manager and team were super happy from my deliverables to the client. My manager was out while I worked late hours to complete the project deadline and deliver on time. They were happy too and told me that the project was getting to finish line even when they were not involved and had to do nothing. I can't think of a good enough reason to be let go. Just ranting out as the market is pretty rough and I don't want to make my wife feel bad about it.
submitted by C_137_Rick to Big4 [link] [comments]
2023.06.06 05:19 ThrowRA_angelsnails How do I (19F) tell a guy (21M) he’s moving too fast? Is he?
So recently I (19f) met a guy (21m) on a dating app. He’s really sweet and we’ve clicked very quickly. Perhaps a little too quickly? We’ve been talking regularly for about 3 weeks, and recently we’ve started texting a lot, like A LOT. We’ve called and he’s very sweet. But I feel like he might just be too much. He’s constantly complementing me, calling me cute, funny, beautiful, anything under the sun. He also asks for a lot of pictures. Nothing sexual in nature, but just of what I’m doing or of what I look like. And I mean he asks A LOT! Like multiple times a day, multiple times an hour. I can understand wanting to see someone’s face, especially if you’re pursing them. But it worries me a little because he doesn’t send many in return. I’m okay sending a few when I want to, but how do I ask him why he wants so many? Or rather how do I tell him I’m not comfortable sending so many? He also talks a lot about how much he can see a future or see this going places. But I feel I just don’t know him well enough to take these complements or future endeavors seriously. Is he being serious? Why is he saying these things so quickly? Has he already created an image of who I am when he doesn’t really know me? I don’t have the most experience with dating, but I really do think he’s sweet. I want to continue talking to him but I’m worried he’s taking thing too fast or expecting something unrealistic. How do I address this with him? Or is this something that should deter me from continuing this?
Ps. In the time span of writing this he has sent me a message complementing me and expressing how happy he is to have met me. Someone please help me I don’t know what to do?
submitted by ThrowRA_angelsnails to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
Ps. In the time span of writing this he has sent me a message complementing me and expressing how happy he is to have met me. Someone please help me I don’t know what to do?
2023.06.06 05:19 sbevs303 My pregnancy has further strained my relationship with my dad
I haven't posted on this thread yet because my dad isn't at the level as a lot of ndads mentioned here (my heart goes out to all those who have suffered from emotional or physcial abuse by their parent). My main issues with him have been that he is extremely emotionally immature and treats me like the "parent"...he uses me as a therapist, expresses little to no interest in my life (just calls to talk for hours about his interests), constantly complains about my mom to me and generally expects me to fix/do things for him.
I have managed to maintain a relationship with boundaries but have reached a breaking point since becoming pregnant.
Not once during my pregnancy has he asked how I am doing or feeling. He calls me to talk about all things he is interested in and them just concludes the call with..so that is what is going on with me. No questions about my health or well being. His birthday is early July (when my baby is due) and he wanted to plan a visit to celebrate HIS birthday. I had to remind him that I will likely be in labor at that time and therefore cannot entertain him, and he just said..."oh ok I didnt realize the baby was due then"...even though I have mentioned multiple times when I am due.
He also has been trying to drag me in the middle of his arguments with my mom. For example, he complained that she "didn't appreciate" the mothers day cards that he bought her and then told me he is depressed because of it and it's my mom's fault. He also proceeded to send me the "rejected" cards in the mail. I asked him why he sent me the cards and he didn't give me a straight forward answer, but it was clear that he was being petty and wanted me to see how much "effort" he had put into mothers day and and thought I would be on his side upon seeing the three cards he picked out for her. Instead it just made me resent him for being so passive aggressive and childish.
Today, I heard from a cousin of mine who checked in to see how I am feeling. She mentioned that my dad invited her to come visit and stay with me in the fall...so now he is treating this like a fun party where people can come crash at my house when I have an INFANT to take care of. At NO point did he ask me if this was what I wanted or if I would be OK with extended family visiting. So basically my dad is expecting me to host others so they can meet his grandson. My cousin is thankfully a practical and empathetic person and said she would be happy to fly up if that's what I wanted / needed, but that she would understand if I needed space to take care of the baby.
At this stage (I am 36 weeks), I have stopped answering calls and have been responding to his texts very selectively. I don't have the energy to be his therapist, marriage counselor, etc. while taking care of myself and prepping for the baby. Some days I feel guilty and like I am the bad guy, but his lack of care and concern for me is really stressing me out so I just decided I need to put myself first and limit communications. Wondering if anyone else can relate.
submitted by sbevs303 to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]
I have managed to maintain a relationship with boundaries but have reached a breaking point since becoming pregnant.
Not once during my pregnancy has he asked how I am doing or feeling. He calls me to talk about all things he is interested in and them just concludes the call with..so that is what is going on with me. No questions about my health or well being. His birthday is early July (when my baby is due) and he wanted to plan a visit to celebrate HIS birthday. I had to remind him that I will likely be in labor at that time and therefore cannot entertain him, and he just said..."oh ok I didnt realize the baby was due then"...even though I have mentioned multiple times when I am due.
He also has been trying to drag me in the middle of his arguments with my mom. For example, he complained that she "didn't appreciate" the mothers day cards that he bought her and then told me he is depressed because of it and it's my mom's fault. He also proceeded to send me the "rejected" cards in the mail. I asked him why he sent me the cards and he didn't give me a straight forward answer, but it was clear that he was being petty and wanted me to see how much "effort" he had put into mothers day and and thought I would be on his side upon seeing the three cards he picked out for her. Instead it just made me resent him for being so passive aggressive and childish.
Today, I heard from a cousin of mine who checked in to see how I am feeling. She mentioned that my dad invited her to come visit and stay with me in the fall...so now he is treating this like a fun party where people can come crash at my house when I have an INFANT to take care of. At NO point did he ask me if this was what I wanted or if I would be OK with extended family visiting. So basically my dad is expecting me to host others so they can meet his grandson. My cousin is thankfully a practical and empathetic person and said she would be happy to fly up if that's what I wanted / needed, but that she would understand if I needed space to take care of the baby.
At this stage (I am 36 weeks), I have stopped answering calls and have been responding to his texts very selectively. I don't have the energy to be his therapist, marriage counselor, etc. while taking care of myself and prepping for the baby. Some days I feel guilty and like I am the bad guy, but his lack of care and concern for me is really stressing me out so I just decided I need to put myself first and limit communications. Wondering if anyone else can relate.
2023.06.06 05:14 shaymagen Listen to your guts
Hi guys, never thought I will be posting something like that but my 5 years old complained about stomach pain since last night, didn't sleep and then puked at 4am. Starting this morning with complaining on stomach pain and fever. Pediatrician told us to wait 24 hours and then come if he is not getting any better but I couldn't let it go so I took the little guy to the ER and the find that his appendix needs to be removed immediately. I'm so happy I listen to my guy and brought him here tonight cause this could have gone really bad if we waited. Just venting guys and wanted to share with you to always trust your gut!!!
submitted by shaymagen to daddit [link] [comments]
2023.06.06 05:14 atuasaysyes FINALLY DID THE CHALLENGE ( I’m on the run)
 | submitted by atuasaysyes to BitLifeApp [link] [comments] |
2023.06.06 05:14 likidee I’m at a loss with this potty training thing
We started potty training last week, about 6 days ago now. We started after work (she goes to daycare) and also over the weekend. A few facts:
submitted by likidee to toddlers [link] [comments]
- my little one is 2.5
- I started reading “oh crap potty training” and got super discouraged and panicked that I was too late, and I can’t take all the time off it says to, along with other things in the book
- little one used to happily sit on the toilet until this last week. Now that it’s not just a fun novelty thing, she is not having it.
- we started with having undies on her and she quickly realized that she doesn’t like her pee not being contained, now we are going bare bottom
- she then quickly started hating the toilet and cries almost every time we sit her down. We started doing every half hour but realize every hour is better. But still…
- she has peed once a tiny bit by accident and it freaked her out. And then another time I caught her midstream and she screamed bloody murder and refused to sit on the potty, and just stood over it (we managed to get some pee in the potty)
- now it’s a struggle to get her to sit. But she now paces around and we are starting to get to know her signs that she needs to pee… but she will not pee on the potty or toilet
- it seems she is afraid of the toilet but doesn’t mind sitting on it, she’s just afraid of peeing in it
- we’ve tried bribing, incentives, stickers, chocolate, etc etc etc.
- now we are taking baby steps and just giving her happy praise for sitting on the toilet but she gets so angry when I say “thank you for sitting on the toilet”, she will hit the wall in anger
- my husband and I both work full time and we cannot take a whole week off work
- she owes successfully at daycare sometimes!!! So I don’t know what I’m doing wrong
2023.06.06 05:10 Waynerdios00 First week milestone. Celebrate with me guys
Hey fellas!
Today I got to seven full days away from PMO. I've been trying to keep myself busy, cooking, going for walks, exercising and slowly re-approaching my hobbies. The first days were not hard at all, since my decision was fresh in my mind and I was still very motivated. The last few days were a bit harder. The urges got back, I felt sluggish at work, and it was very hard to concentrate. I am accepting the lack of productivity to get rid of this insanity.
Today was a tough day, I probably got 1% of the work I needed to get done, and I took a 3-hour nap once I got back home. It was very frustrating, but now I feel great. I went for a walk and did a lot of thinking. I remembered why I'm doing this, and I realized that it has been a week!
So...
Join me in celebration, my brothers! Not just for the week I spent away from PMO, but also for the positive things that are slowly happening to all of us. We came to this community because we chose to fight back, and I think that is something to be celebrated! Be happy for your choice, it is already a huge milestone. You are not alone. We can do this. Cheers to all.
submitted by Waynerdios00 to NoFap [link] [comments]
Today I got to seven full days away from PMO. I've been trying to keep myself busy, cooking, going for walks, exercising and slowly re-approaching my hobbies. The first days were not hard at all, since my decision was fresh in my mind and I was still very motivated. The last few days were a bit harder. The urges got back, I felt sluggish at work, and it was very hard to concentrate. I am accepting the lack of productivity to get rid of this insanity.
Today was a tough day, I probably got 1% of the work I needed to get done, and I took a 3-hour nap once I got back home. It was very frustrating, but now I feel great. I went for a walk and did a lot of thinking. I remembered why I'm doing this, and I realized that it has been a week!
So...
Join me in celebration, my brothers! Not just for the week I spent away from PMO, but also for the positive things that are slowly happening to all of us. We came to this community because we chose to fight back, and I think that is something to be celebrated! Be happy for your choice, it is already a huge milestone. You are not alone. We can do this. Cheers to all.
2023.06.06 05:05 MontanaBoy0 I wake up every day and wish I didn’t.
Every day is a struggle. I fight against depression & anxiety, for hours, until I get some relief later at night. The next day, I repeat the same cycle. But I’m never happy, and don’t feel loved. I don’t want to be alive. I can’t do this much longer.
submitted by MontanaBoy0 to depression_help [link] [comments]
2023.06.06 05:05 name_without_a_face Someone listened!!!!
A few weeks ago I went to see my gp (who is amazing and always listens to me and will spend over an hour talking with me about issues) and she referred me to an eds clinic. I am on the border of an eds diagnosis depending on how tall I stand. She referred me and said that it was unlikely I would be accepted but, I was!!! So, for once in my life someone not only listened to me but did something for me. I’m so happy my appointment is almost a year in the future but, it’s progress and hopefully it will go well.
submitted by name_without_a_face to ehlersdanlos [link] [comments]
2023.06.06 05:03 Awkward_Sorta Terrified of the possibility that ADHD meds aren’t gonna help me (OCD stemming from ADHD)
I feel bad for making a useless post to try and feel less scared and more relieved, but I’m really freaking out rn and gave into my need. I always feel very confused and am living way too much in the current moment and also way too far in a catastrophic future, I just seriously need reassurance from people who know what I’m talking about.
But to just get on with it, I(18F) highly suspect I have OCD that’s stemming from my ADHD and it’s causing every night (and days but not always days since It’s a little easier to distract myself, even if my mind is loud) to be a living nightmare. Obsessive thoughts about being completely unfixable and hopeless and doomed to be sad, scared and unsatisfied forever, which is just pure pain.
Today I had my first appointment with my new doctor (she’s the doctor that basically all my close family members go to) and it was also the first appointment where I felt genuine hope, atleast for about an hour with how scary and volatile my thoughts have been for months and months.
She was completely understanding and friendly and didn’t break boundaries, and also explained her thought process with the medication she prescribed me—something I’ve never experienced during appointments of any kind. She prescribed me Vyvanse on the lowest dose since I’ve never tried stimulants before and, instead of sending me out in the wild like my ex-psychiatrist did multiple times, explained what I might experience and what not to do. It all felt very personalized and nice, like she actually cared.
She wants bloodwork done to make sure there’s no underlying problems but she already called in the medication. I’ll be getting the bloodwork done tomorrow and picking up my Vyvanse.
I was so hopeful earlier but now my thoughts are getting to me like they always do. Literally can’t escape them unless I take an edible, which always brings me back to two years ago when I was just happy by myself and didn’t completely spiral into a 3 hour long crying for at every triggering word in my head making me think scary things every single day. But I have none rn to help hide me from the scary thoughts.
My biggest hope isn’t even fixing up just my ADHD at this point, though that’s obviously a must since things like motivation, organization, memory and discipline are impossible for me with how I am. But I’m hoping that the OCD really is stemming from the ADHD and that I’ll be able to be normal and happy once the ADHD symptoms have been dealt with.
I’m so terrified it won’t work for me though. I feel like I’m just stuck in this hell that is my mind forever and that I’ll never feel safe and happy ever again. It’s a bone-chilling existential terror that brings me a step below even hopelessness. I feel so much dread due to the hopelessness that I can’t completely fathom it.
I’m worried I won’t even be able to sleep tonight because of how tightly my brain is gripping onto this fabricated reality of pain I’ve accidentally, unknowingly put myself in somehow.
Tears don’t even feel good or relieving like they used to, it’s just hours of pain and suffering with some salty water pouring out of my eyes until I calm down enough to dread the next outburst and downward spiral.
I’m so scared that Vyvanse won’t work, just because the more I wait (been waiting for probably like 6 or 7 months now) to be treated, the more upset and hopeless I feel. The uncertainty that waiting brings is making me nauseous. Seconds feel like hours and these months have felt like a lifetime wasted.
I’m also scared that when the Vyvanse wears off that I’ll be like this again, maybe even worse after experiencing something good in my mind.
This all started with me wanting to be able to focus and do what I want to do and have normal working memory and all that jazz and has now left me unable to function because my own genuinely brain scares me. I overthink to the point that life is no longer enjoyable for me, it’s almost entirely unbearable.
Really sorry if this is unreadable but I just can’t think straight. Anyone have any reassurance to help me appease these thoughts so I don’t cry myself to sleep tonight? Please?
submitted by Awkward_Sorta to ADHD [link] [comments]
But to just get on with it, I(18F) highly suspect I have OCD that’s stemming from my ADHD and it’s causing every night (and days but not always days since It’s a little easier to distract myself, even if my mind is loud) to be a living nightmare. Obsessive thoughts about being completely unfixable and hopeless and doomed to be sad, scared and unsatisfied forever, which is just pure pain.
Today I had my first appointment with my new doctor (she’s the doctor that basically all my close family members go to) and it was also the first appointment where I felt genuine hope, atleast for about an hour with how scary and volatile my thoughts have been for months and months.
She was completely understanding and friendly and didn’t break boundaries, and also explained her thought process with the medication she prescribed me—something I’ve never experienced during appointments of any kind. She prescribed me Vyvanse on the lowest dose since I’ve never tried stimulants before and, instead of sending me out in the wild like my ex-psychiatrist did multiple times, explained what I might experience and what not to do. It all felt very personalized and nice, like she actually cared.
She wants bloodwork done to make sure there’s no underlying problems but she already called in the medication. I’ll be getting the bloodwork done tomorrow and picking up my Vyvanse.
I was so hopeful earlier but now my thoughts are getting to me like they always do. Literally can’t escape them unless I take an edible, which always brings me back to two years ago when I was just happy by myself and didn’t completely spiral into a 3 hour long crying for at every triggering word in my head making me think scary things every single day. But I have none rn to help hide me from the scary thoughts.
My biggest hope isn’t even fixing up just my ADHD at this point, though that’s obviously a must since things like motivation, organization, memory and discipline are impossible for me with how I am. But I’m hoping that the OCD really is stemming from the ADHD and that I’ll be able to be normal and happy once the ADHD symptoms have been dealt with.
I’m so terrified it won’t work for me though. I feel like I’m just stuck in this hell that is my mind forever and that I’ll never feel safe and happy ever again. It’s a bone-chilling existential terror that brings me a step below even hopelessness. I feel so much dread due to the hopelessness that I can’t completely fathom it.
I’m worried I won’t even be able to sleep tonight because of how tightly my brain is gripping onto this fabricated reality of pain I’ve accidentally, unknowingly put myself in somehow.
Tears don’t even feel good or relieving like they used to, it’s just hours of pain and suffering with some salty water pouring out of my eyes until I calm down enough to dread the next outburst and downward spiral.
I’m so scared that Vyvanse won’t work, just because the more I wait (been waiting for probably like 6 or 7 months now) to be treated, the more upset and hopeless I feel. The uncertainty that waiting brings is making me nauseous. Seconds feel like hours and these months have felt like a lifetime wasted.
I’m also scared that when the Vyvanse wears off that I’ll be like this again, maybe even worse after experiencing something good in my mind.
This all started with me wanting to be able to focus and do what I want to do and have normal working memory and all that jazz and has now left me unable to function because my own genuinely brain scares me. I overthink to the point that life is no longer enjoyable for me, it’s almost entirely unbearable.
Really sorry if this is unreadable but I just can’t think straight. Anyone have any reassurance to help me appease these thoughts so I don’t cry myself to sleep tonight? Please?
2023.06.06 05:02 AutoModerator [Get] Dee Deng (Foundr) – Ignite Your Digital Agency Download
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Discover the 5 exact offer switches to hit to make becoming a client a no-brainer. Close sales can be bad for business! You must “test” prospects with these 5 questions before agreeing to do business with them. MODULE 3 STRESS-FREE FULFILLMENT This module will set yourself apart from the majority agency owners who only focus on client acquisition. The result is happy clients, repeat business and referrals. The Mechanics Behind Stress-Free Fulfillment: Structure your team setup, workflow processes, who’s accountable for what… and much much more! Delivering great work isn’t enough! Discover the “compulsory conversation” you must initiate for happy clients, repeat business & referrals. Expand clientele without straining your talent pool. Learn how to prioritize hires, attract top talent and troubleshoot “bad” hires. Partnering up with an agency co-founder could result in a messy divorce. Dee will show you his decision framework so you can decide on the if, who, when & how. Remove Yourself As The Bottleneck! Create these 5 systems to save hours per week, enjoy hands-off scaling… without sacrificing quality. MODULE 4 FLAWLESS AGENCY FINANCE While many agency owners might consider it a “boring” subject, your agency’s finances are the bedrock of your agency’s success. Is your agency making a loss… despite serving clients? Discover how to calculate your profit margins and exactly what to do if it’s in the “unhealthy” range. What’s your agency’s financial health? Quickly get an accurate snapshot by tracking these 5-6 KPIs. Ignore this at your own peril… My agency is making money. What’s next? Dee will recommend how much funds to invest into the business, as well as allocate for salaries & bonuses The “headache-free” way to bill and get paid. Plus, how to deal with less-than-ideal scenarios, e.g. client can’t pay or dispute scope Diversify your “client portfolio” to strategic growth and engaging projects… while minimizing financial risks MODULE 5 SCALING BEYOND YOURSELF Now that we have covered the fundamentals, let’s tackle more advanced topics. Remote Team or Physical Office? Dee weighs up the pros and cons of each. Plus, the exact tools he uses to manage a 115+ person global team How Will My Agency Evolve Over Time? Dee will share how your role as agency CEO and team structure could change so you can prepare in advance. Avoid Burnout As An Agency Owner: Dee will reveal simple yet effective actions to protect his health and happiness over the long term Agency Partnerships: How do you lead with value when approaching potential partners… especially when you feel you have little to offer? Leverage Paid Traffic: Discover when to introduce this into your acquisition mix so you can accelerate growth without exhausting your budget. |
2023.06.06 05:02 Floospingaround I realized how lucky I am to have a hard working mom
I'm 14m
I've never been spoiled nor do I usually ask for stuff, I've always considered myself to be a good and humble kid, I've never even thrown a tantrum, but I have always been ambicious, I feel happy with whatever Milestone I hit or any success I may have but I've always strived for more. I'm slowly waiting to be 15 because that's the legal age to work where I live because I want my own income, I want to buy stuff I usually can't, I often complain to myself that I can't afford something or that sometimes there just simply isn't enough money, but I feel like today a brick of reality hit me in the back of my head when I was trying to fit something in the fridge and it was too full, I was annoyed at first but realized that some people can only dream of a full fridge, it's gonna sound cheezy but I looked around and saw a big house, a big pretty house, and a nice looking living room with a pretty good TV, I also saw a microwave, a stove, a coffee maker, a stand mixer that's expensive as shit that I got for Christmas, and most important of all, I saw a roof over my head, I had all I needed and more and never even stopped to consider it. My mom works hard, she works almost 10 hours a day, sometimes more sometimes less, I sometimes felt annoyed at how much she worked but today I realized she does it all for me and my sister, and I can't be mad at her for that, she does all of this so I can live comfortably, so I can go to school with everything I need, so I can have food on my table every day. I love her and everything she does for me, and I'm grateful for what I have.
submitted by Floospingaround to offmychest [link] [comments]
I've never been spoiled nor do I usually ask for stuff, I've always considered myself to be a good and humble kid, I've never even thrown a tantrum, but I have always been ambicious, I feel happy with whatever Milestone I hit or any success I may have but I've always strived for more. I'm slowly waiting to be 15 because that's the legal age to work where I live because I want my own income, I want to buy stuff I usually can't, I often complain to myself that I can't afford something or that sometimes there just simply isn't enough money, but I feel like today a brick of reality hit me in the back of my head when I was trying to fit something in the fridge and it was too full, I was annoyed at first but realized that some people can only dream of a full fridge, it's gonna sound cheezy but I looked around and saw a big house, a big pretty house, and a nice looking living room with a pretty good TV, I also saw a microwave, a stove, a coffee maker, a stand mixer that's expensive as shit that I got for Christmas, and most important of all, I saw a roof over my head, I had all I needed and more and never even stopped to consider it. My mom works hard, she works almost 10 hours a day, sometimes more sometimes less, I sometimes felt annoyed at how much she worked but today I realized she does it all for me and my sister, and I can't be mad at her for that, she does all of this so I can live comfortably, so I can go to school with everything I need, so I can have food on my table every day. I love her and everything she does for me, and I'm grateful for what I have.
2023.06.06 05:00 luckytron New Terran Refugee (Pt - 20) : An NOP fanfic
[First] - [Previous] - [[Next]]
New Terran Refugee (Pt - 20) : An NOP fanfic
Thanks to u/SpacePaladin15 for letting people write fanfics.
This is just a fanfic of course.
This chapter went through several iterations, I might have let myself think I could release it 1 week late (and failed). Also, I might have gotten sidetracked with other non-writing thing, oops.
TL;DR:
“OOPS! All Rewrites! And side projects!” – Me
In any case, here’s the chapter:
Memory transcription subject: Tayla, Venlil Widow
Date [standardized human time]: October 18, 2136
The first thing I became aware of was that I had awoken enveloping a richly warm pillow with a soft surface from above, and that not only was it hot but that it was also soft and squishy but without too much give, in fact it was somehow firmer below the surface, I snuggled closer to the material that was emanating heat below me and drove off my mind’s attempts at waking me up, this was too blissful an experience to stop suddenly.
The second thing I became aware of was that I didn’t remember replacing my heated pillow as the cold wind season was still expected to be a good deal of time away and that I had much more important things to spend my limited budget on.
The third thing I became aware of was that I wasn’t hugging a pillow, this only happened when I noticed that it wasn’t moving because I was snuggling into it, but rather moving in a steady motion against me, like when someone breathes while asleep.
The fourth thing I became aware of, were the memories of what led me into this situation ‘Just gonna close my eyes for a moment’; Why did I lie to myself like that?
The final thing I became aware of snapped me out of my musings, it was the reason I woke up, and the reason I had crashed so hard into sleepiness.
The consequence of drinking copious amounts of [shade root] tea to keep watch over Jorge until I could call the number in the email during the schedule it had included beneath itself, this was made worse by the cans of ‘Twilight Energy’ I had drank at the end when more drastic measures had to be taken.
I couldn’t ignore it I couldn’t help but feel the pressure mounting inside my bladder as I peeled myself off from on top of Jorge.Why did I move so much while asleep?
Oh Protector, I missed his warmth already…
I made a mental note to look into repairing my heated pillow for cheap due to a sudden urge to sleep with something warm more frequently, the abrupt thought jogging loose some memories about contact information of some local repairvenlil I’d called before for one reason or another, along with the memory of the number I called before… napping with Jorge…
A great feeling of chagrin manifested along with my bloom while closing Jorge’s bathroom door behind me as I remembered the text beneath the schedule, ‘Extended working hours during emergency situations’, the aftermath of antimatter bombing definitely applied… especially since that Mrs. Bennet sounded so exhausted so soon after the supposed start of her work claw.
I decided to chalk up my lapse in judgement to have been due to how Jorge’s expression before he sealed himself in had left my thoughts racing and heart pounding in worry over him.
With my thoughts somewhat settled, I examined the strange toilet that had been installed, before throwing caution to the winds when the urgency I felt reasserted itself with force.
…
After closing the lid and washing my paws, I finally found what had to be the equivalent of the pulley and chain, a small, recessed button parted into 2 asymmetric parts on the top middle part behind the seat.
I pressed both parts at the same time just in case.
FWOOOSH
A small eep escaped me but was drowned out by the noises that were still coming from the strange toilet!
Finally, the ruckus ended, letting me calm down from the unexpected loudness. Wait, did that noise wak-
THUNK THUNK THUNK
A bigger eep escaped me as I jumped a little into the air; However this time it wasn’t drowned out by another noise.
“¿you ok in there?” I could barely make out Jorge’s voice through the door, like he was putting in the barest effort needed to speak.
“Y-yeah, j-just startled…” I opened the door as I trailed off, a sudden realization had me asking him a question, “I guess I know how It felt w-when I s-startled you h-huh?”
His normally expressive face remained still, the only reaction to my attempt at lightening the mood a brief exhale from his nose; He simply slipped past me as I left the bathroom and muttered something I didn’t quite hear just before shutting the door softly.
I went back to the bed and turned on his pad, after a few seconds of waiting for it to turn on, and a few more waiting for my translator to parse the strange [date and time] format the humans used (Honestly, who separated the [hours] and the [days/months] like that?) I felt a bit of relief as I sank a bit into the still warm bed.
According to the pad, I’d just taken a short nap, I still had plenty of time until my children came back home, hopefully I had enough time to actually have some kind of talk with Jorge.
I’d have to somehow get him to talk about last Paw’s… reaction of his, and find a way to convince him to talk about his family, It’d be good for him to recognize that pain, maybe he’d even hold onto it like me…
FWOOOSH
That thing that the humans called a toilet interrupted my train of thought before I could do more than think of the barest of ways I could breeze into such heavy topics, the small delay between the toilet’s sound, the groaning of water travelling to the faucet, and the door opening wasn’t even enough to get back on my mind’s [zephyr].
A quick focus on Jorge’s face made my determination start to breeze away a bit, it was much easier to think of how to talk to him when I couldn’t see just how heavily everything [to wear down like a long strong gale would] on him.
Jorge deflated slightly but visibly at how I apparently froze up at the sight of him.
“well, thanks, i… feel better, you can just… leave me be for now”
Jorge stood still, averting his eyes from me until he shrugged strangely after turning to look at the barricade, he then shuffled over and started to shift it to the side a bit, evidently wishing to put it back in place after I left.
“ah” he cleared his throat, “sorry, you can leave now” he returned to averting his eyes from looking at me and awkwardly motioned towards the wide opening he had made after dragging the barricade as he stepped away morosely.
“Jorge.” I paused to breathe; I’d managed to huff out his name just as I needed to exhale.
Jorge stood still for a moment before tentatively focusing on me, a strangely vulnerable expression sat on his face.
I patted the bed (an appropriate and proper distance away from me) with my tail before curling it away from the spot, he seemed to get the message and soon he had sat down beside me, brief moment of hesitation notwithstanding.
I turned my head towards him as I’d seen him do when talking, he flinched a little when his eyes met mine, closing them and averting his face, I reached out for his nearby claw with my tail and put it down gently on top.
I waited patiently for him to start talking; Thankfully the wait was short.
“this… ¿is this about… my reaction yesterday?”
“Yes,” I squeezed down on his claw softly with my tail in a comforting gesture, “I wanted to speak with you about that sooner, but for now…” another gentle squeeze, “I’m just glad you seem to be doing a little bit better.”
Silence enveloped us as Jorge seemed to mull over what I’d just said.
A small hint of a hunch had me examining him more closely, it seemed he was anxiously waiting for me to talk some more.
I chastised myself internally, ‘Of course he wasn’t going to be feeling very talkative…’, how could someone jump straight into talking about such a topic? It’d probably be better to start with other stuff and gauge things from there; With that my mind sifted through possible topics until one stood out.
“S-so, I kind of… used up a lot of your powdered ingredients… heh…” I took in his features, he seemed halfway here and halfway far away.
Maybe… Maybe if I somehow mentioned the call to remind him that there were more humans he could try talking to? Just in case he was getting tired of my clumsy attempts at talking with him…
“I, uh, didn’t think of asking Mrs. Bennet about their availability when I called her this Paw, s-sorry about that… b-but I’m sure they’ll get some more that you can use soon, right?”
That got a reaction, a small one, out of him; His eyes widened. It… felt wrong.
“o-oh, well, i’d better get started packing then…”
An impossibly heavy weight settled deep inside my stomach as he moved his claw out from under my frozen tail tip, my throat clenched up as Jorge got up and limply started wading to his bag.
I stared in mute horror as he dumped his clean body coverings into it, trying to communicate anything to him, and failing miserably as the sheer disbelief of just how horribly I had miscommunicated kept me frozen, while the pain and betrayal I could imagine him feeling kept my mind reeling.
He stopped just as he reached his bag, his claws clenched for a moment before he unclenched them slowly and turned around to look directly at me.
He’d shed more tears, his eyes were an ugly and fresher shade of red.
“y-you were waiting down here for me to wake up again just to have this conversation as soon as possible. ¿am i right?”
Th-this wasn’t supposed to go like this!
“I… I was-”
“I!” interrupted Jorge with an elevated tone of voice, “…Earlier, I woke up and went back to sleep a few times, I could see you sitting on the stairs, sometimes you and your pad would be missing, I kept thinking that maybe you were worried about me ¿you know?”
“I-” An intense look from him kept the rest of my response in my head; ‘I was!’ I wanted to plead.
“I guess you didn’t plan for me falling asleep after crying…” He trailed off and seemed to go into deep thought for a moment, before his eyes narrowed dangerously. “¿Did you just bring me that Atole to soften the blow?” He held up one of his claws towards me while making a stabbing motion with it, his voice came out as a much lower growl than normal from him. “¿Or was putting me to sleep part of the plan?”
My face felt as if I’d been hit by an icy gale. ‘Did he just insinua-?’
“You’re fucking heartless.” That last sentence from him was punctuated by a fresh set of tears from his eyes, though no sobbing came from him as he let himself fall backwards down onto the floor, like a puppet with its strings suddenly cut.
My heart was beating wildly, and my eyes stung from the horrible accusations that he was making, and from how I’d probably be doing just what he had said if this had happened a few days ago…
I gave myself a moment to recollect myself, I’d thought similar enough things when I was alone in the hospital after losing my family, not nearly as extreme but… my circumstances back then and his right now weren’t comparable.
I shuddered internally at how much worse I’d have fared if it had been Venlil Prime that had been attacked; I’d probably… I’d have tried to do what he tried last night…
With a sigh I focused consciously on Jorge, who was breathing a bit more steadily now, as I picked up the bottle and moved steadily towards his alert gaze.
I sat down in front of him and opened the bottle, he narrowed his eyes even further in response, making the redness and glistening more pronounced, the patches of fur above his eyes changed position as well; I didn’t quite know what it meant, but it couldn’t possibly have been from him feeling happy or at peace.
I pushed through the sense of fear that was starting to form from being under his stare and took in the rest of his body language… I readjusted my position and observed as he flinched away from me…
I slowly raised the bottle and drank; The patches of fur over his eyes returned to their normal position, overshot and stayed raised while the intensity of his stare diminished. Finally, he tilted his head ever so slightly.
After a few gulps more I stopped drinking and offered him the bottle, he still wasn’t accepting it; I wiped my lips and prepared to speak.
“…I wouldn’t do that to you…” A small quiver at the end made me trail off until I was certain my voice wouldn’t fail me. I wouldn’t do that now. “None of those things, I mean… Even after all I did… You gave me a chance…”
“When you put it like that…” Jorge wiped his eyes. “I mean, I don’t know what came over me…” He looked to the side and deflated a little.
“I understand… I was like this too…” A small shiver traveled through my spine, thinking about it always did… I ignored the shiver by standing up and offering him the bottle again, this time he grabbed it and drank deeply.
He trailed behind me, we sat down on opposite sides of the bed, him hugging his legs as he sat against the wall, and me with one leg over the edge of the bed with the other one crossed over it.
Dozens of starting points were flurrying in my head, I couldn’t decide on one, so I cleared my throat and let myself say whatever came out first.
“I’m married.” Jorge became extremely visibly confused. “I-I’m a Widow, I meant to say…” The familiar sting of pain grounded me as his expression changed into one I could recognize even from him, pity.
“He-”died “…It happened 11 years ago, I… I lost my family at the same time…”
Jorge’s expression softened even more, no longer out of pity, but out of understanding… of the pain we shared…
“It was my dad’s idea, he’s always wanted to have a big family homestead… when the latest batch of colonies were finally cleared for habitation he bought a plot immediately, my sister and her husband went with them first, then my brother and his wife, and finally me and…”
This whole talking thing was much harder than I thought… I cleared my throat; I couldn’t go on just omitting any names in my retelling…
“Krayla, that’s my mother’s name.” I paused, waiting for his reaction, he ‘nodded’ slowly, solemnly. “Tavk’io, my dad; Talnum, my b-brother; Tahyiya, m-my sister; …a-and Glim, m-my husband…”
I buried my head in my paws, this was too much…
A moment passed, I felt something brush against my tail; Opening my eyes I saw that it was Jorge’s claw, he patted the tip gently until his eyes met mine.
“Emiliano José Cauich Ayala, t-that’s my father’s name.” He paused to breathe and wiped his eyes. “Ixchel Paola Rojas Canul, that’s my mother’s name.”
We stayed in silence for a while longer, at least in my case recovering from the emotional toll that I had just gone through.
“S-shortly after we arrived at the colony,” I began. “I l-learned I was p-pregnant, G-Glim and I celebrated it with my family, we were going to name our baby after my brother and his wife, Kiyomi. It… It was something we had all come up with [years] before, everything was going just like we had dreamed and talked so much about…”
I squeezed my tail against myself, all those nights at the colony laughing and joking with each other about increasingly outlandish names (ones that we’d never use of course), gone just like that…
“G-Glim and Talnum were busy helping the colony expand by clearing new plots for development and as buffer zones, I helped around with Taylee and Talim when needed but I helped dad with the house most of the time; There were always things that needed to be taken care of after all. Th-then one day in the colony, I f-fainted while picking up Taylee and Talim from school, a f-few [weeks] after that… I had to be sent back here since the colony’s hospital had lost their last equipment shipment to an Arxur raid.” I paused and lowered my voice. “G-Glim stayed behind to take extra assignments, t-to cover expenses, h-he… he was… he was on his last pawful of shifts b-before leave wh-when…”
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“…D-dad was at home looking after the kids, he’d sprained his leg while doing some maintenance, he called me early in the morning there, Talnum and Glim were in some kind of assignment together, and my mother had taken everyone else to get stuff from the market to prepare a farewell meal f-for Glim…” And after that… “The call disconnected abruptly, it had happened before so I… I j-joked to m-myself a-and the nurse that it was p-probably j-just the signal failing because I wasn’t there to maintain things p-properly…”
Tears started forming in my eyes again, Jorge shuffled closer, put his soft claw on my shoulder and gave a light squeeze, his warmth spread throughout me.
“…A few claws later I learnt the truth, that the colony had been raided and that the shelter had been breached, shortly after that, I… I lost my…” I did my best to look him directly in his eyes. “After that… I started planning how to get to the hospital’s roof…” There, a glint of recognition and pain in his eyes. “I was just waiting for the rescue fleet to finish up there, just in case, thankfully… my dad hid Taylee and Talim in one of the [Kitchen] cabinets after taking down the family pictures, since he couldn’t take them to the shelter, he… Taylee told me that he… he begged her to keep quiet before closing the cabinet. She stayed in there with Talim for I don’t even know how long… She… She hasn’t talked about it ever again.”
Another squeeze, then silence and cold as he retracted his claw back towards him, his face turning to another side while taking on some kind of thoughtful intensity.
“S-So… What I’ve been trying to say was… I kind of understand what you’re going through… A-and if you want to talk… I-I’m here?”
A small ‘nod’, and more silence. My eyes were beginning to feel heavy again, that nap hadn’t been enough it seemed.
Jorge harrumphed, causing a bolt of wakefulness to course through me as he began speaking, filling in the silence that had fallen on the room.
“…I don’t think I’m ready yet…” His face turned towards me once more. “But… thank you, for sharing, and for worrying about me, I… If you hadn’t been there when I drifted into and out of sleep…” His eyes widened in a flash. “Wait. ¿You haven’t slept right? ¿Are you feeling OK?”
“I-I t-took a nap after you f-fell asleep…” B-beneath him… “Y-you left a lot of space…” He did, but I couldn’t get to it from under his legs…
“Good, good…” His eyes flicked between me and the door. “Well… I suppose you’ve got stuff to do now. ¿Am I right?” Somehow, the expression that sat now on his face felt forced in a way. I kept quiet as I rummaged through my memories of The Aftermath.
Of course, he was trying to get me out to wallow in peace, just as I did…
That was the last thing he needed right now.
I needed to find a way to get him out of this room…
“Actually… I’m free until my kids get back, I’m used to taking care of chores quickly.”
“Right…” Jorge seemed to slowly steel himself, if I didn’t interrupt me, he’d just ask me to leave directly…
I tried to think faster, but the drowsiness was returning in force, it was no use… Unless…
“H-Hey!” My exclamation startled him, I pressed on to keep the momentum strong. “I uh, I kind of went through my whole supply of [shade root] tea to stay awake…” I didn’t. “And… I don’t really want to drink more energy drinks this Paw, I don’t suppose you have something to stay awake with you?”
Jorge blinked, again, once more, and again one last time before responding.
“¿I… think I have some coffee I could make?” He tilted his headadorably to one side as he scratched his head with one claw.
“Sounds perfect! Would you please make me some?” I stood up before he could even answer, reached for his idle claw and tugged at it towards me; He stood up in what seemed like a daze out of reflex.
We spent the next few [minutes] browsing the intact shelf, whatever this coffee was, it wasn’t there, the tentatively positive mood that had formed cracked a little as Jorge looked at the shelf barricade before he trudged over to it, stopping beside it where he gestured at vaguely with his claw.
We stepped past the barricade, tried not to look at each other, failed, shuffled in place for a moment and began sifting through the items strewn about the floor in an unspoken agreement.
It wasn’t long until I found myself holding a container that my translator insisted was labeled ‘Instant Coffee’. “Hey,” I started while turning, “is this the ri-” Jorge was looking intensely at something on the floor, I followed his gaze and saw it, the broken remains of the flame projector.
“J-Jorge?” I extended my tail cautiously towards his arm, his claws ceased to strain against themselves following the subtle flinch he had when the tip of my tail made contact with him.
I gave him the ‘Instant Coffee’ I was holding and scooped up the remains to dispose of them properly this time; Jorge held up the container and murmured an affirmation at me, I gestured for him to lead the way and proceeded to follow him to the [kitchen].
I raced my way directly to the trash container, separated the single-use fuel cannister from the remains I was holding, and dumped the inert bits inside; I’d have to take this last part to a proper disposal collection point in town some other time. For now, I glanced at Jorge and tucked it into a discreet spot in the cabinets when he wasn’t looking. Only after that did I notice what a mess I’d made up here despite my best efforts at cleaning up…
Jorge’s eyes were scanning all over the [kitchen], taking in every splotch, every spill and every crusted over utensil I’d used, he lingered noticeably longer on the open and haphazardly arranged containers of his that I had used, finally he stared at the Vanilla Extract bottle with a soft expression, it was the only container that had remained completely spotless and didn’t have a significant amount of its contents drained.
Yet another unreadable expression had settled on his face as he took a big pot and barely put any water in it, the other more reasonably sized ones just too dirty to deal with quickly, before putting it to boil on the [stove top].
“Uh…” He shifted his weight from one leg to the other a few times. “I… never did thank you for the drink earlier ¿Didn’t I?”
“N-no but there’s no ne-”
The patches of fur above his eyes furrowed together.
“You… mentioned before that you entered the program for money…” He looked confused. “¿Why didn’t you just… ask for me to be picked up? You’d have gotten someone else in no time… Hell, I’d still understand if you did it now. You don’t have to go through all this trouble for me.” The confused expression deepened as he gestured at the messy remains around us.
“…”
He was waiting for an answer.
“I… w-well I d-did enter for the money… b-but… I don’t want to just replace you… I like being around you. I d-don’t know if we’re there yet… But I’d like to be… f-friends! W-with you someday…” Oh Protector, I couldn’t be more obvious unless I just came out and said it…
“Well for what it’s worth… Thank you Tayla, you don’t know what that means to me right now.” He was looking directly at me, with raw emotion and palpable aliveness, my face started to feel as if I was standing under sunlight…
“I-It was the l-least I could d-do…” It was worth it even though he didn’t seem to understand quite what I accidentally meant before…
I was spared from further embarrassment by the pot of water sizzling violently behind Jorge who turned around in a blur to turn the heat off, while he did that I grabbed two (clean) mugs and set them down near him, though I didn’t move my paws quite fast enough as his claw brushed against me while he moved the mugs closer to him to pour the water on them.
He let the water cool down a little as he put his sugar and ‘Instant Coffee’ containers close to the mugs; He poured the less-than-boiling water into the mugs, stirred in a measure of ‘Instant Coffee’ and a measure of sugar as well.
He passed me a mug with a cryptic warning. “If it’s not to your taste, let me know.” Then he grabbed the other one, sipped a little and waited.
The mischievous glint in his eyes left me no choice, I’d have to play along for now; I raised the mug and sipped…
SPEH
WHY WAS EVERYTHING THESE HUMANS HAD SO BITTER?
I futilely attempted to remove the grimace from my face; Strangely, the roar of laughter I expected was nowhere to be heard, I found myself looking at Jorge with some amount of concern, though the clear, if understated, smile he sported calmed me down somewhat.
Wordlessly, Jorge reached for my mug and the can of powdered coconut milk, he then proceeded to mix in a little of it in both mugs, turning the liquid from a dark oily brown to a much lighter tone. Finally he mixed in a single drop of his Vanilla Extract in each mug and gave me back mine.
I gave him the best glare I could manage as I pouted at him, he took a deep drink from his own mug and held it up for me to examine.
With a sigh I tried mine again.
Warm. Flowery. Smooth. Bitter but not too much, like a perfectly harvested root. But most importantly of all, I could feel myself waking slightly more already, whether it was just self-suggestion or the drink having an effect so soon I couldn’t tell.
Once more, the reaction I expected from Jorge was missing, this time he seemed to be lost in thought, staring at a distant point in the air.
I took a moment to examine him, whatever he was thinking, it was starting to fester. It’d be better to get him talking “What’s wrong?” I asked.
“It’s no-” He shook his head. “It’s just… I… my dad… he liked to drink his without adding anything, no sugar, no… coconut milk…, and… me and mom used to tease him about it…” He was retreating into himself once more.
I kept drinking my coffee; There had to be something else I could talk with him about…
Jorge straightened up, something about his posture, about the way he held himself had changed.
“Say… Tayla… ¿Can I ask you for a favor?” Despite the confidence he exuded he was running one of his claws over the back of his mug repeatedly.
“W-what kind of favor?”
“There’s something I want, no, something I need to make for the end of the [month], and… I’m going to need your help getting the stuff, I’d just ask you to get it all for me, but honestly that wouldn’t be right.”
“O-ok, but you still haven’t told me what the favor is?”
“I need to buy flowers, candles, a good tablecloth, and see what dishes I can actually make here that’d be good enough.”
“W-What for?” W-Was he? My heart was beating wildly in a peculiar mix of elation, nervousness and apprehension.
“I’m going to make an Altar for Day of the Dead (Día de Muertos), it’s the least I can do for my family all the way over here.”
W-
Wh-
WHAT?
submitted by luckytron to HFY [link] [comments]
Thanks to u/SpacePaladin15 for letting people write fanfics.
This is just a fanfic of course.
This chapter went through several iterations, I might have let myself think I could release it 1 week late (and failed). Also, I might have gotten sidetracked with other non-writing thing, oops.
TL;DR:
“OOPS! All Rewrites! And side projects!” – Me
In any case, here’s the chapter:
Date [standardized human time]: October 18, 2136
The first thing I became aware of was that I had awoken enveloping a richly warm pillow with a soft surface from above, and that not only was it hot but that it was also soft and squishy but without too much give, in fact it was somehow firmer below the surface, I snuggled closer to the material that was emanating heat below me and drove off my mind’s attempts at waking me up, this was too blissful an experience to stop suddenly.
The second thing I became aware of was that I didn’t remember replacing my heated pillow as the cold wind season was still expected to be a good deal of time away and that I had much more important things to spend my limited budget on.
The third thing I became aware of was that I wasn’t hugging a pillow, this only happened when I noticed that it wasn’t moving because I was snuggling into it, but rather moving in a steady motion against me, like when someone breathes while asleep.
The fourth thing I became aware of, were the memories of what led me into this situation ‘Just gonna close my eyes for a moment’; Why did I lie to myself like that?
The final thing I became aware of snapped me out of my musings, it was the reason I woke up, and the reason I had crashed so hard into sleepiness.
The consequence of drinking copious amounts of [shade root] tea to keep watch over Jorge until I could call the number in the email during the schedule it had included beneath itself, this was made worse by the cans of ‘Twilight Energy’ I had drank at the end when more drastic measures had to be taken.
I couldn’t ignore it I couldn’t help but feel the pressure mounting inside my bladder as I peeled myself off from on top of Jorge.
I made a mental note to look into repairing my heated pillow for cheap due to a sudden urge to sleep with something warm more frequently, the abrupt thought jogging loose some memories about contact information of some local repairvenlil I’d called before for one reason or another, along with the memory of the number I called before… napping with Jorge…
A great feeling of chagrin manifested along with my bloom while closing Jorge’s bathroom door behind me as I remembered the text beneath the schedule, ‘Extended working hours during emergency situations’, the aftermath of antimatter bombing definitely applied… especially since that Mrs. Bennet sounded so exhausted so soon after the supposed start of her work claw.
I decided to chalk up my lapse in judgement to have been due to how Jorge’s expression before he sealed himself in had left my thoughts racing and heart pounding in worry over him.
With my thoughts somewhat settled, I examined the strange toilet that had been installed, before throwing caution to the winds when the urgency I felt reasserted itself with force.
…
After closing the lid and washing my paws, I finally found what had to be the equivalent of the pulley and chain, a small, recessed button parted into 2 asymmetric parts on the top middle part behind the seat.
I pressed both parts at the same time just in case.
FWOOOSH
A small eep escaped me but was drowned out by the noises that were still coming from the strange toilet!
Finally, the ruckus ended, letting me calm down from the unexpected loudness. Wait, did that noise wak-
THUNK THUNK THUNK
A bigger eep escaped me as I jumped a little into the air; However this time it wasn’t drowned out by another noise.
“¿you ok in there?” I could barely make out Jorge’s voice through the door, like he was putting in the barest effort needed to speak.
“Y-yeah, j-just startled…” I opened the door as I trailed off, a sudden realization had me asking him a question, “I guess I know how It felt w-when I s-startled you h-huh?”
His normally expressive face remained still, the only reaction to my attempt at lightening the mood a brief exhale from his nose; He simply slipped past me as I left the bathroom and muttered something I didn’t quite hear just before shutting the door softly.
I went back to the bed and turned on his pad, after a few seconds of waiting for it to turn on, and a few more waiting for my translator to parse the strange [date and time] format the humans used (Honestly, who separated the [hours] and the [days/months] like that?) I felt a bit of relief as I sank a bit into the still warm bed.
According to the pad, I’d just taken a short nap, I still had plenty of time until my children came back home, hopefully I had enough time to actually have some kind of talk with Jorge.
I’d have to somehow get him to talk about last Paw’s… reaction of his, and find a way to convince him to talk about his family, It’d be good for him to recognize that pain, maybe he’d even hold onto it like me…
FWOOOSH
That thing that the humans called a toilet interrupted my train of thought before I could do more than think of the barest of ways I could breeze into such heavy topics, the small delay between the toilet’s sound, the groaning of water travelling to the faucet, and the door opening wasn’t even enough to get back on my mind’s [zephyr].
A quick focus on Jorge’s face made my determination start to breeze away a bit, it was much easier to think of how to talk to him when I couldn’t see just how heavily everything [to wear down like a long strong gale would] on him.
Jorge deflated slightly but visibly at how I apparently froze up at the sight of him.
“well, thanks, i… feel better, you can just… leave me be for now”
Jorge stood still, averting his eyes from me until he shrugged strangely after turning to look at the barricade, he then shuffled over and started to shift it to the side a bit, evidently wishing to put it back in place after I left.
“ah” he cleared his throat, “sorry, you can leave now” he returned to averting his eyes from looking at me and awkwardly motioned towards the wide opening he had made after dragging the barricade as he stepped away morosely.
“Jorge.” I paused to breathe; I’d managed to huff out his name just as I needed to exhale.
Jorge stood still for a moment before tentatively focusing on me, a strangely vulnerable expression sat on his face.
I patted the bed (an appropriate and proper distance away from me) with my tail before curling it away from the spot, he seemed to get the message and soon he had sat down beside me, brief moment of hesitation notwithstanding.
I turned my head towards him as I’d seen him do when talking, he flinched a little when his eyes met mine, closing them and averting his face, I reached out for his nearby claw with my tail and put it down gently on top.
I waited patiently for him to start talking; Thankfully the wait was short.
“this… ¿is this about… my reaction yesterday?”
“Yes,” I squeezed down on his claw softly with my tail in a comforting gesture, “I wanted to speak with you about that sooner, but for now…” another gentle squeeze, “I’m just glad you seem to be doing a little bit better.”
Silence enveloped us as Jorge seemed to mull over what I’d just said.
A small hint of a hunch had me examining him more closely, it seemed he was anxiously waiting for me to talk some more.
I chastised myself internally, ‘Of course he wasn’t going to be feeling very talkative…’, how could someone jump straight into talking about such a topic? It’d probably be better to start with other stuff and gauge things from there; With that my mind sifted through possible topics until one stood out.
“S-so, I kind of… used up a lot of your powdered ingredients… heh…” I took in his features, he seemed halfway here and halfway far away.
Maybe… Maybe if I somehow mentioned the call to remind him that there were more humans he could try talking to? Just in case he was getting tired of my clumsy attempts at talking with him…
“I, uh, didn’t think of asking Mrs. Bennet about their availability when I called her this Paw, s-sorry about that… b-but I’m sure they’ll get some more that you can use soon, right?”
That got a reaction, a small one, out of him; His eyes widened. It… felt wrong.
“o-oh, well, i’d better get started packing then…”
An impossibly heavy weight settled deep inside my stomach as he moved his claw out from under my frozen tail tip, my throat clenched up as Jorge got up and limply started wading to his bag.
I stared in mute horror as he dumped his clean body coverings into it, trying to communicate anything to him, and failing miserably as the sheer disbelief of just how horribly I had miscommunicated kept me frozen, while the pain and betrayal I could imagine him feeling kept my mind reeling.
He stopped just as he reached his bag, his claws clenched for a moment before he unclenched them slowly and turned around to look directly at me.
He’d shed more tears, his eyes were an ugly and fresher shade of red.
“y-you were waiting down here for me to wake up again just to have this conversation as soon as possible. ¿am i right?”
Th-this wasn’t supposed to go like this!
“I… I was-”
“I!” interrupted Jorge with an elevated tone of voice, “…Earlier, I woke up and went back to sleep a few times, I could see you sitting on the stairs, sometimes you and your pad would be missing, I kept thinking that maybe you were worried about me ¿you know?”
“I-” An intense look from him kept the rest of my response in my head; ‘I was!’ I wanted to plead.
“I guess you didn’t plan for me falling asleep after crying…” He trailed off and seemed to go into deep thought for a moment, before his eyes narrowed dangerously. “¿Did you just bring me that Atole to soften the blow?” He held up one of his claws towards me while making a stabbing motion with it, his voice came out as a much lower growl than normal from him. “¿Or was putting me to sleep part of the plan?”
My face felt as if I’d been hit by an icy gale. ‘Did he just insinua-?’
“You’re fucking heartless.” That last sentence from him was punctuated by a fresh set of tears from his eyes, though no sobbing came from him as he let himself fall backwards down onto the floor, like a puppet with its strings suddenly cut.
My heart was beating wildly, and my eyes stung from the horrible accusations that he was making, and from how I’d probably be doing just what he had said if this had happened a few days ago…
I gave myself a moment to recollect myself, I’d thought similar enough things when I was alone in the hospital after losing my family, not nearly as extreme but… my circumstances back then and his right now weren’t comparable.
I shuddered internally at how much worse I’d have fared if it had been Venlil Prime that had been attacked; I’d probably… I’d have tried to do what he tried last night…
With a sigh I focused consciously on Jorge, who was breathing a bit more steadily now, as I picked up the bottle and moved steadily towards his alert gaze.
I sat down in front of him and opened the bottle, he narrowed his eyes even further in response, making the redness and glistening more pronounced, the patches of fur above his eyes changed position as well; I didn’t quite know what it meant, but it couldn’t possibly have been from him feeling happy or at peace.
I pushed through the sense of fear that was starting to form from being under his stare and took in the rest of his body language… I readjusted my position and observed as he flinched away from me…
I slowly raised the bottle and drank; The patches of fur over his eyes returned to their normal position, overshot and stayed raised while the intensity of his stare diminished. Finally, he tilted his head ever so slightly.
After a few gulps more I stopped drinking and offered him the bottle, he still wasn’t accepting it; I wiped my lips and prepared to speak.
“…I wouldn’t do that to you…” A small quiver at the end made me trail off until I was certain my voice wouldn’t fail me. I wouldn’t do that now. “None of those things, I mean… Even after all I did… You gave me a chance…”
“When you put it like that…” Jorge wiped his eyes. “I mean, I don’t know what came over me…” He looked to the side and deflated a little.
“I understand… I was like this too…” A small shiver traveled through my spine, thinking about it always did… I ignored the shiver by standing up and offering him the bottle again, this time he grabbed it and drank deeply.
He trailed behind me, we sat down on opposite sides of the bed, him hugging his legs as he sat against the wall, and me with one leg over the edge of the bed with the other one crossed over it.
Dozens of starting points were flurrying in my head, I couldn’t decide on one, so I cleared my throat and let myself say whatever came out first.
“I’m married.” Jorge became extremely visibly confused. “I-I’m a Widow, I meant to say…” The familiar sting of pain grounded me as his expression changed into one I could recognize even from him, pity.
“He-”
Jorge’s expression softened even more, no longer out of pity, but out of understanding… of the pain we shared…
“It was my dad’s idea, he’s always wanted to have a big family homestead… when the latest batch of colonies were finally cleared for habitation he bought a plot immediately, my sister and her husband went with them first, then my brother and his wife, and finally me and…”
This whole talking thing was much harder than I thought… I cleared my throat; I couldn’t go on just omitting any names in my retelling…
“Krayla, that’s my mother’s name.” I paused, waiting for his reaction, he ‘nodded’ slowly, solemnly. “Tavk’io, my dad; Talnum, my b-brother; Tahyiya, m-my sister; …a-and Glim, m-my husband…”
I buried my head in my paws, this was too much…
A moment passed, I felt something brush against my tail; Opening my eyes I saw that it was Jorge’s claw, he patted the tip gently until his eyes met mine.
“Emiliano José Cauich Ayala, t-that’s my father’s name.” He paused to breathe and wiped his eyes. “Ixchel Paola Rojas Canul, that’s my mother’s name.”
We stayed in silence for a while longer, at least in my case recovering from the emotional toll that I had just gone through.
“S-shortly after we arrived at the colony,” I began. “I l-learned I was p-pregnant, G-Glim and I celebrated it with my family, we were going to name our baby after my brother and his wife, Kiyomi. It… It was something we had all come up with [years] before, everything was going just like we had dreamed and talked so much about…”
I squeezed my tail against myself, all those nights at the colony laughing and joking with each other about increasingly outlandish names (ones that we’d never use of course), gone just like that…
“G-Glim and Talnum were busy helping the colony expand by clearing new plots for development and as buffer zones, I helped around with Taylee and Talim when needed but I helped dad with the house most of the time; There were always things that needed to be taken care of after all. Th-then one day in the colony, I f-fainted while picking up Taylee and Talim from school, a f-few [weeks] after that… I had to be sent back here since the colony’s hospital had lost their last equipment shipment to an Arxur raid.” I paused and lowered my voice. “G-Glim stayed behind to take extra assignments, t-to cover expenses, h-he… he was… he was on his last pawful of shifts b-before leave wh-when…”
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“…D-dad was at home looking after the kids, he’d sprained his leg while doing some maintenance, he called me early in the morning there, Talnum and Glim were in some kind of assignment together, and my mother had taken everyone else to get stuff from the market to prepare a farewell meal f-for Glim…” And after that… “The call disconnected abruptly, it had happened before so I… I j-joked to m-myself a-and the nurse that it was p-probably j-just the signal failing because I wasn’t there to maintain things p-properly…”
Tears started forming in my eyes again, Jorge shuffled closer, put his soft claw on my shoulder and gave a light squeeze, his warmth spread throughout me.
“…A few claws later I learnt the truth, that the colony had been raided and that the shelter had been breached, shortly after that, I… I lost my…” I did my best to look him directly in his eyes. “After that… I started planning how to get to the hospital’s roof…” There, a glint of recognition and pain in his eyes. “I was just waiting for the rescue fleet to finish up there, just in case, thankfully… my dad hid Taylee and Talim in one of the [Kitchen] cabinets after taking down the family pictures, since he couldn’t take them to the shelter, he… Taylee told me that he… he begged her to keep quiet before closing the cabinet. She stayed in there with Talim for I don’t even know how long… She… She hasn’t talked about it ever again.”
Another squeeze, then silence and cold as he retracted his claw back towards him, his face turning to another side while taking on some kind of thoughtful intensity.
“S-So… What I’ve been trying to say was… I kind of understand what you’re going through… A-and if you want to talk… I-I’m here?”
A small ‘nod’, and more silence. My eyes were beginning to feel heavy again, that nap hadn’t been enough it seemed.
Jorge harrumphed, causing a bolt of wakefulness to course through me as he began speaking, filling in the silence that had fallen on the room.
“…I don’t think I’m ready yet…” His face turned towards me once more. “But… thank you, for sharing, and for worrying about me, I… If you hadn’t been there when I drifted into and out of sleep…” His eyes widened in a flash. “Wait. ¿You haven’t slept right? ¿Are you feeling OK?”
“I-I t-took a nap after you f-fell asleep…” B-beneath him… “Y-you left a lot of space…” He did, but I couldn’t get to it from under his legs…
“Good, good…” His eyes flicked between me and the door. “Well… I suppose you’ve got stuff to do now. ¿Am I right?” Somehow, the expression that sat now on his face felt forced in a way. I kept quiet as I rummaged through my memories of The Aftermath.
Of course, he was trying to get me out to wallow in peace, just as I did…
That was the last thing he needed right now.
I needed to find a way to get him out of this room…
“Actually… I’m free until my kids get back, I’m used to taking care of chores quickly.”
“Right…” Jorge seemed to slowly steel himself, if I didn’t interrupt me, he’d just ask me to leave directly…
I tried to think faster, but the drowsiness was returning in force, it was no use… Unless…
“H-Hey!” My exclamation startled him, I pressed on to keep the momentum strong. “I uh, I kind of went through my whole supply of [shade root] tea to stay awake…” I didn’t. “And… I don’t really want to drink more energy drinks this Paw, I don’t suppose you have something to stay awake with you?”
Jorge blinked, again, once more, and again one last time before responding.
“¿I… think I have some coffee I could make?” He tilted his head
“Sounds perfect! Would you please make me some?” I stood up before he could even answer, reached for his idle claw and tugged at it towards me; He stood up in what seemed like a daze out of reflex.
We spent the next few [minutes] browsing the intact shelf, whatever this coffee was, it wasn’t there, the tentatively positive mood that had formed cracked a little as Jorge looked at the shelf barricade before he trudged over to it, stopping beside it where he gestured at vaguely with his claw.
We stepped past the barricade, tried not to look at each other, failed, shuffled in place for a moment and began sifting through the items strewn about the floor in an unspoken agreement.
It wasn’t long until I found myself holding a container that my translator insisted was labeled ‘Instant Coffee’. “Hey,” I started while turning, “is this the ri-” Jorge was looking intensely at something on the floor, I followed his gaze and saw it, the broken remains of the flame projector.
“J-Jorge?” I extended my tail cautiously towards his arm, his claws ceased to strain against themselves following the subtle flinch he had when the tip of my tail made contact with him.
I gave him the ‘Instant Coffee’ I was holding and scooped up the remains to dispose of them properly this time; Jorge held up the container and murmured an affirmation at me, I gestured for him to lead the way and proceeded to follow him to the [kitchen].
I raced my way directly to the trash container, separated the single-use fuel cannister from the remains I was holding, and dumped the inert bits inside; I’d have to take this last part to a proper disposal collection point in town some other time. For now, I glanced at Jorge and tucked it into a discreet spot in the cabinets when he wasn’t looking. Only after that did I notice what a mess I’d made up here despite my best efforts at cleaning up…
Jorge’s eyes were scanning all over the [kitchen], taking in every splotch, every spill and every crusted over utensil I’d used, he lingered noticeably longer on the open and haphazardly arranged containers of his that I had used, finally he stared at the Vanilla Extract bottle with a soft expression, it was the only container that had remained completely spotless and didn’t have a significant amount of its contents drained.
Yet another unreadable expression had settled on his face as he took a big pot and barely put any water in it, the other more reasonably sized ones just too dirty to deal with quickly, before putting it to boil on the [stove top].
“Uh…” He shifted his weight from one leg to the other a few times. “I… never did thank you for the drink earlier ¿Didn’t I?”
“N-no but there’s no ne-”
The patches of fur above his eyes furrowed together.
“You… mentioned before that you entered the program for money…” He looked confused. “¿Why didn’t you just… ask for me to be picked up? You’d have gotten someone else in no time… Hell, I’d still understand if you did it now. You don’t have to go through all this trouble for me.” The confused expression deepened as he gestured at the messy remains around us.
“…”
He was waiting for an answer.
“I… w-well I d-did enter for the money… b-but… I don’t want to just replace you… I like being around you. I d-don’t know if we’re there yet… But I’d like to be… f-friends! W-with you someday…” Oh Protector, I couldn’t be more obvious unless I just came out and said it…
“Well for what it’s worth… Thank you Tayla, you don’t know what that means to me right now.” He was looking directly at me, with raw emotion and palpable aliveness, my face started to feel as if I was standing under sunlight…
“I-It was the l-least I could d-do…” It was worth it even though he didn’t seem to understand quite what I accidentally meant before…
I was spared from further embarrassment by the pot of water sizzling violently behind Jorge who turned around in a blur to turn the heat off, while he did that I grabbed two (clean) mugs and set them down near him, though I didn’t move my paws quite fast enough as his claw brushed against me while he moved the mugs closer to him to pour the water on them.
He let the water cool down a little as he put his sugar and ‘Instant Coffee’ containers close to the mugs; He poured the less-than-boiling water into the mugs, stirred in a measure of ‘Instant Coffee’ and a measure of sugar as well.
He passed me a mug with a cryptic warning. “If it’s not to your taste, let me know.” Then he grabbed the other one, sipped a little and waited.
The mischievous glint in his eyes left me no choice, I’d have to play along for now; I raised the mug and sipped…
SPEH
WHY WAS EVERYTHING THESE HUMANS HAD SO BITTER?
I futilely attempted to remove the grimace from my face; Strangely, the roar of laughter I expected was nowhere to be heard, I found myself looking at Jorge with some amount of concern, though the clear, if understated, smile he sported calmed me down somewhat.
Wordlessly, Jorge reached for my mug and the can of powdered coconut milk, he then proceeded to mix in a little of it in both mugs, turning the liquid from a dark oily brown to a much lighter tone. Finally he mixed in a single drop of his Vanilla Extract in each mug and gave me back mine.
I gave him the best glare I could manage as I pouted at him, he took a deep drink from his own mug and held it up for me to examine.
With a sigh I tried mine again.
Warm. Flowery. Smooth. Bitter but not too much, like a perfectly harvested root. But most importantly of all, I could feel myself waking slightly more already, whether it was just self-suggestion or the drink having an effect so soon I couldn’t tell.
Once more, the reaction I expected from Jorge was missing, this time he seemed to be lost in thought, staring at a distant point in the air.
I took a moment to examine him, whatever he was thinking, it was starting to fester. It’d be better to get him talking “What’s wrong?” I asked.
“It’s no-” He shook his head. “It’s just… I… my dad… he liked to drink his without adding anything, no sugar, no… coconut milk…, and… me and mom used to tease him about it…” He was retreating into himself once more.
I kept drinking my coffee; There had to be something else I could talk with him about…
Jorge straightened up, something about his posture, about the way he held himself had changed.
“Say… Tayla… ¿Can I ask you for a favor?” Despite the confidence he exuded he was running one of his claws over the back of his mug repeatedly.
“W-what kind of favor?”
“There’s something I want, no, something I need to make for the end of the [month], and… I’m going to need your help getting the stuff, I’d just ask you to get it all for me, but honestly that wouldn’t be right.”
“O-ok, but you still haven’t told me what the favor is?”
“I need to buy flowers, candles, a good tablecloth, and see what dishes I can actually make here that’d be good enough.”
“W-What for?” W-Was he? My heart was beating wildly in a peculiar mix of elation, nervousness and apprehension.
“I’m going to make an Altar for Day of the Dead (Día de Muertos), it’s the least I can do for my family all the way over here.”
W-
Wh-
WHAT?
2023.06.06 04:58 tumblew33d69 Love the game, but Aspect RNG can be demoralizing.
I adore this game, and am having a blast and greatly see the potential the game has and will have even more of down the road. Having said that, my biggest complaint with some builds right now is the Aspects and Legendary Powers.
Some of them being tied to RNG is -very- frustrating and is making for an un-fun experience. For example, the Shred Werewolf build pretty much requires the "Blurred Beast" aspect to work well. That's fine, I don't take issue with a single power being a main part of a build. I take issue with me not having any chance of finding it through the codex or any other means. The problem I'm finding myself in is that I keep finding weapon upgrades, with 400-500 more DPS than the weapon I'm currently using, except that since I can't find a "Blurred Beast" aspect to put on the weapon, it's of no use to me.
I've only found Blurred Beast one time, and I put it on the weapon I currently have, so I can't extract it again. This means I'm having to pass up on gear upgrades simply because I can't get the power I want. I have played -alot- because I've been in the middle between no-lifing and casual, and yet I can't do anything to increase my chances of finding this one particular item except hope that the Tree of Whispers gives me a weapon cache, or gambling drops it. I have seen pretty much every single legendary for the Druid drop multiple times, but Blurred Beast? once.
I would be happy with just allowing me to trade in some broken down legendary parts to get a "lowest rolled" aspect of my choosing, just so I can assemble the build to make farming easier.
I know this might seem like a rant, it isn't meant to be. I'm enjoying the game, but I feel I have put way too many hours into the game only to see it drop one time and it's a build defining power causing me to have to ignore upgrades which seems like a bad player experience imo.
Maybe I should swap builds and there are plenty of others that don't feel like they need one necessary power that's so RNG dependent, but since all I've played is Shred right now, this is my current experience with the game. Anyone have any recommendations for endgame farming on a druid that doesn't require such RNG specific aspects?
submitted by tumblew33d69 to diablo4 [link] [comments]
Some of them being tied to RNG is -very- frustrating and is making for an un-fun experience. For example, the Shred Werewolf build pretty much requires the "Blurred Beast" aspect to work well. That's fine, I don't take issue with a single power being a main part of a build. I take issue with me not having any chance of finding it through the codex or any other means. The problem I'm finding myself in is that I keep finding weapon upgrades, with 400-500 more DPS than the weapon I'm currently using, except that since I can't find a "Blurred Beast" aspect to put on the weapon, it's of no use to me.
I've only found Blurred Beast one time, and I put it on the weapon I currently have, so I can't extract it again. This means I'm having to pass up on gear upgrades simply because I can't get the power I want. I have played -alot- because I've been in the middle between no-lifing and casual, and yet I can't do anything to increase my chances of finding this one particular item except hope that the Tree of Whispers gives me a weapon cache, or gambling drops it. I have seen pretty much every single legendary for the Druid drop multiple times, but Blurred Beast? once.
I would be happy with just allowing me to trade in some broken down legendary parts to get a "lowest rolled" aspect of my choosing, just so I can assemble the build to make farming easier.
I know this might seem like a rant, it isn't meant to be. I'm enjoying the game, but I feel I have put way too many hours into the game only to see it drop one time and it's a build defining power causing me to have to ignore upgrades which seems like a bad player experience imo.
Maybe I should swap builds and there are plenty of others that don't feel like they need one necessary power that's so RNG dependent, but since all I've played is Shred right now, this is my current experience with the game. Anyone have any recommendations for endgame farming on a druid that doesn't require such RNG specific aspects?