Defeating divine beast vah ruta

Starting off with a pic of the timeline: Timeline Picture
Essentially the gist is this: TotK Ganondorf is the OG Ganondorf. Future Ganondorfs like OoT Ganondorf and FSA Ganondorf are essentially Calamity Ganon melded to the spirit of a Gerudo male and the timeline is broken up by "Calamities", otherwise known as the births of new Ganondorfs or Calamity Ganons.
I don't know (nor do I know if anyone could know) the order of the eras between TotK-Past and TotK, besides maybe for OoT's era happening first, but it's the concept that's important.
A rough order of events would be like this:

1. Creation
2. Skyward Sword
3. Imprisoning War - Ganondorf is sealed
4. No more than 400 years later, Koume and Kotake are able to corrupt the Gerudo Tribe to create optimal conditions to revive Ganondorf's spirit into a new body. OoT Ganondorf is born with a Calamity Ganon bound to his soul. His memories are not TotK Ganondorf's, but they share the same will and desire for power.
5. Regardless of your timeline, Ganondorf is ultimately destroyed by Link and the Master Sword. If we are in the CT, Hyrule continues from where we see it in TP. If we are in the AT, the Great Deku Tree continues with his work of recreating the landmass of Hyrule and eventually succeeds. The Royal Family of Hyrule (Zelda's bloodline) eventually makes its way back to Hyrule, or a splinter line that didn't go to New Hyrule serves as the new origin.
6. Many, many years later, and without the machinations of Koume and Kotake, a new Calamity emerges in the form of the demon army in the War of the Bound Chest. It is unknown if a vessel for the Demon King was able to be created, but I presume not. Before Calamity Ganon could create a suitable form, the Hero of Men seals it (and the demon army) away with the Picori Blade.
7. For some time following the events of the beginning of The Minish Cap, the Calamity builds power and imposes its will on the demonic army but does not have a body of its own. Eventually, the Calamity binds itself to a new Gerudo male (FSA Ganondorf). Whether a new Koume and Kotake are involved and aided or not is unknown.
8. FSA Ganondorf eventually gets sealed by Link and the Four Sword.
9. Many, many years later, the Calamity returns in the form of ALTTP Ganondorf. It is unclear if this is FSA Ganondorf released from his seal in the Four Sword or a brand new Gerudo altogether (I think there's evidence for both cases. He is destroyed by Link.
10. Ganon will continue to get revived several times (ALBW, LoZ, maybe after AoL) and I think these are like ALTTP Ganondorf's now-demonic spirit being either resummoned (in ALBW's case) or physically revived (LoZ). Regardless, Ganon meets his end eventually.
11. Many, many years later Calamity Ganon strikes again but this time is stopped by the Ancient Sheikah and their Divine Beasts.
12. 10,000 years later, Calamity Ganon strikes AGAIN and is ready for the Sheikah's tech and corrupts it. Calamity Ganon buys itself 100 more years but is ultimately destroyed/sealed.
13. Shortly after this last Calamity, TotK Ganondorf wakes up and is destroyed by Link

​
Takeaways:
I think it makes sense for the Ganon encounters to be caused by TotK Ganondorf's "Calamity Ganon Phenomenon" and with TotK done, that particular sub-cycle should be over. From this point forward, I think Ganondorf can still re-emerge but it would have room for potentially a fresh take on Ganondorf or even just going with an entirely new incarnation of Demise and we sunset Ganondorf in favor of a new villain.
​
Sorry for the mess.

Now that it's out what do you guys think? Did it live up to expectations? How well did it wrap up the series?
~
I liked it more than I thought I would. I had felt that the series was trending down starting at Uncrowned but this one ended the series on a high note.
What I liked:

• I was pleasantly surprised Will managed to finish the Abaidon plotline without it being a cliffhanger or feeling too lacking. I enjoyed the conclusion of the Judge's storyline though I do feel the final battle with the Mad King was very anticlimatic. With all the build up and insights into the Mad King's perspective and origin, I thought we'd get more from him than we did. I didn't actually realize he was defeated for good in that fight tbh.
• Will did a way better job with the Monarch/Dreadgod fights than he did in the previous books. Before, the action was getting too big and too ridiculous to the point where nothing felt impactful anymore. I'm not sure what he changed, but I found myself enjoying the fights again.
• I loved all the callbacks to stuff from previous books that felt abandoned or pointless.
• I appreciated the epilogue. I'm a sucker for that sort of callback and love "happy" endings.

What I didn't like:

• I almost stopped reading after the first 50 pages. It was feeling like a Marvel movie with every single character channeling their inner Eithan with one-liners and jokes. Thankfully it was dialed back to a way more manageable level after a certain point.
• Despite Will doing a good job not skimming too much, it felt like the pacing was still too fast and certain things were either just dropped or ignored. You can't tease me with the Phoenix gaining a human form and seemingly acting more complex just to have them act like a beast again without another word.
• Mercy's attraction for Lindon was just shoved under the rug and pretended it never existed. Instead we got her looking wistfully at Yerin and saying something akin to 'I wish I had someone'.
• Still no resolution to Elder Whisper's story. It felt like something that had to amount to something. He was locked in a special tower in the special valley by people who certainly couldn't do it themselves. To have him just be a throwaway not-even-mentor figure feels like such a waste.

All in all, I'm happy with Waybound and happy that Cradle ended on a high note. I'd rate it a 4/5, up from a 2.5 from Dreadgod. Crossing my fingers that Traveler's Gate gets some of his attention now that Cradle is finished.

So, over the weekend I finally hunted down the Zora Stone Monuments. Most of them were pretty cool, and a few related to things like what Link helped with in the Domain between BotW and TotK, which I thought was cool.
But there's one Momument that I want to talk about.
To refresh your memories, one of the Monuments in Breath of the Wild talks about Ruto, I've copied the transcription below:

History of the Zora, Part Five
The Sage Princess Ruto
As told by King Dorephan
Long, long ago... In a past more distant than even the Great Calamity or the creation of the Divine Beast Vah Ruta... There was a Zora princess named Ruto.
We know that she was an attendant to the Zora patron deity and that she was a fair and lively girl, beloved to all.
Around that same time, an evil man with designs on ruling the world appeared, bringing disaster upon Zora's Domain.
It is said that Ruto then awoke as a sage, facing this foe alongside the princess of Hyrule and the hero of legend.
Her achievements are remembered not only by the Zora, they are also forever etched in the history of Hyrule.
The Divine Beast Vah Ruta, built ages later to face off against Calamity Ganon, was named in honor of Ruto.

?That the Zora princess—my sweet daughter Mipha—was chosen to pilot Ruta is surely the work of fate.
And here is the transcription of another Momument from Tears of the Kingdom which also talks about Ruto:

Learnings of the Zora, Part Two
The Legend of Ruto, Our Great Ancestor
As told by Prince Sidon
It is written that long ago there was a strong-willed Zora princess who was as meandering as a winding river.
The princess, who was dearly loved by her fellow Zora, was as noble as she was innocent. Her name was Ruto.
One day, a powerful and wicked man tried to take over Hyrule and brought great ruin to the once-peaceful Zora's Domain.
Our tales speak of fallen Zora soldiers drifting down the river as it sadly reflected the chaotic retreat of terrified Zora.
Princess Ruto bravely fought back her tears as she bore witness to the tragic misery unfolding in the domain.
Even amid her heartbreak, the Zora princess did all she could to help the weak and elderly escape.
Next she swam against the river's current and climbed the mighty waterfall to challenge her foe.
The details of this fight have fallen victim to the haze of time. Few details remain.
Still, it is said that she was aided by the princess of Hyrule and the hero of legend, and together they saved Hyrule.
I, Sidon, prince of the Zora, cannot help but ponder these events as I listen to the Zora children play in all their innocence.
As Princess Ruto's descendant, it is my fate to carry the torch of her brave acts into tomorrow and beyond. I shall not fail.

Previously, the Zora Stone Momuments were one of the biggest pieces of evidence used by some timeline theorists to place Breath of the Wild in the Downfall Timeline. Does this still apply when some of the details are so different?
There are some passages that seem like little glimpses of extra details about Zora's Domain freezing over, which is really cool. Zora soldiers 'drifting down the river' is something that Ocarina of Time couldn't really show us, but now, through a game released twenty years later, we have a more definate, tragic outcome for the events of the game. And the Momument is purposely obscure about what Ruto did to fight the evil man, and 'swimming against the river's current and climbing the mighty waterfall' can easily be seen as poetic metaphor.
But her doing all she could to help the weak and elderly escape? This is not what we witnessed in Ocarina of Time. We were told by Shiek that

With one exception, the Zoras are now sealed under this thick ice sheet

Is this a contradiction, or is it just extra detailing on an event that could only be depicted to a certain extent in Ocarina of Time?
I suppose it's vague enough to be taken as evidence for "Breath and Tears are in a new timeline", for "The old games are just legends", OR for "this is new information about an old game", but I wanted to point this out and hopefully see some discussion.

this image is made by another user: u/killua_zoldyck_07
This is why I think it would be silly for the straw hat crew to have higher bounties than the beast pirates EVEN IF they defeated them. strength matters sure but pedigree matters maybe even more. bounty increases happen because of big events like enies lobby, dressrosa, and whole cake island and the straw hats have only had a certain amount of those. how many big events have the beast pirates had though? assumedly a lot more.
btw not really talking about luffy because that's clearly a different situation.
https://preview.redd.it/i7z0j029ra4b1.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=9dcc0bac4057baa0388944ba2af2081e3aacefb8

I'm pretty upset with the way my TotK experience has been going. This game is getting constant 10/10s and everyone seems to love it, makes me feel crazy. I really enjoyed BotW for what it was, although I had the same issues with it that other did. But this time around?
Dungeons... I was hoping since they were reusing so much of the map, they'd find time in those 6 years to add fleshed out real zelda Dungeons. Instead we got slightly bigger divine Beasts with bad boss fights that rely on a single mechanic. One of the tutorial shrines had a small key. That was a massive tease.
Exploration... trivialized be sky towers, I can glide everywhere. And stables and horses are tedious, they will just get left behind and I'll have to resummon them. Annoying, this has already been fixed with the ancient saddle, why set it back? Whatever, its faster to just use sky towers anyway. Should I explore caves? I've done 40 or so caves, they're all the same and the loot is abysmal. It's not fun anymore. And the sky islands, aside from the tutorial, are empty and boring. The loot here is also terrible, or nonexistent.
Shrines... these are pathetically easy? As soon as I enter a room, I know the solution instantaneously. There is absolutely zero thought, it's nearly automated. These feel insulting to me, like my time and intelligence is not respected. Why do I want to do these easy time wasters for 1/4 of an upgrade? I just do them, but it's just mindless and boring. Is it worth my time to even collect the chests? Do I really need 5 more arrows from a chest? I have like 500 naturally.
Durability... people say they need durability in order to keep exploration worthwhile. I don't get this. If I am constantly replacing weapons at such a high rate, and can fuse them to be extra tough and durable AND repair them at octorocks, then how is it any different than other open world looting? If I can just repair them anyway, then the system is just there to be tedious. And it is just that. I'd much rather collect unique weapons and upgrade materials than constant junk for the sake of having something to collect. Why not just implement a proper upgrade and repaiblacksmith system at that point? I don't even mind durability, it's just the execution is so tedious and dull.
Abilities... personally, I prefer the abilities in BotW. I like the rewind and ascend abilities in TotK, but the others are not for me. I do not want to build things with my time, and fused weapons either look goofy and silly or outrageous and ridiculous. I've found a few acceptable combinations, like making a katana with the blue lizalfos horn, but for the most part everything is a bulky, clipping silly weapon. I just want a sleek sword, I don't care for this stuff at all. I don't like ultrahand because it's used for 99% of shrines and puzzles. Giving the player too much freedom completely removes the challenge from the puzzles, it's very counterintuitive and boring. Limitations are a good thing in games. Either way, the game usually suggests a single solution to the puzzles and its painfully obvious every time. After using ultrahand SO much, it's really just tedious. And I actually have no issues with its controls. Also the summons.. you have to stand next to them in battle and hit A? They're either always too far so it's inconvenient to use, or running in my way when I'm collecting things causing me to accidentally use them.
Story... so far, I've done 3 of the temples. I really enjoyed the cutscenes at the wind temple (even though the boss fight was terrible), I really liked Tulin and the cutscene was great. Then... I did the next temple and it was the same cutscene basically. Copy pasted dialogue. And then the next, the same thing. Not only is the game's objective nearly identical to BotW (go to these 4 same cities and do the temples) but there's hardly even any variety between the stories themselves. It's all the SAME...
Combat... is whatever. No improvements from BotW. It's simple, doesn't involve any unique abilities (aside from reversing time on some enemy projectiles), and isn't engaging or rewarding. Dodge, flurry. Dodge, flurry. I'm not asking for a lot really, but they spent virtually no time from those 6 yeats improving the combat whatsoever.
I'm having a really hard time getting through this game. I was super hyped for this, I preordered the collectors edition. I want to love this game so bad, but I just can't. It's not a good game to me. I'm really upset because I think Zelda just isn't for me anymore. There is probably a lot more to say but eh, just really bummed. Does anyone else feel this way?

I'm pretty upset with the way my TotK experience has been going. This game is getting constant 10/10s and everyone seems to love it, makes me feel crazy. I really enjoyed BotW for what it was, although I had the same issues with it that other did. But this time around?
Dungeons... I was hoping since they were reusing so much of the map, they'd find time in those 6 years to add fleshed out real zelda Dungeons. Instead we got slightly bigger divine Beasts with bad boss fights that rely on a single mechanic. One of the tutorial shrines had a small key. That was a massive tease.
Exploration... trivialized be sky towers, I can glide everywhere. And stables and horses are tedious, they will just get left behind and I'll have to resummon them. Annoying, this has already been fixed with the ancient saddle, why set it back? Whatever, its faster to just use sky towers anyway. Should I explore caves? I've done 40 or so caves, they're all the same and the loot is abysmal. It's not fun anymore. And the sky islands, aside from the tutorial, are empty and boring. The loot here is also terrible, or nonexistent.
Shrines... these are pathetically easy? As soon as I enter a room, I know the solution instantaneously. There is absolutely zero thought, it's nearly automated. These feel insulting to me, like my time and intelligence is not respected. Why do I want to do these easy time wasters for 1/4 of an upgrade? I just do them, but it's just mindless and boring. Is it worth my time to even collect the chests? Do I really need 5 more arrows from a chest? I have like 500 naturally.
Durability... people say they need durability in order to keep exploration worthwhile. I don't get this. If I am constantly replacing weapons at such a high rate, and can fuse them to be extra tough and durable AND repair them at octorocks, then how is it any different than other open world looting? If I can just repair them anyway, then the system is just there to be tedious. And it is just that. I'd much rather collect unique weapons and upgrade materials than constant junk for the same of having something to collect. Why not just implement a proper upgrade and repaiblacksmith system at that point? I don't even mind durability, it's just the execution is so tedious and dull.
Abilities... personally, I prefer the abilities in BotW. I like the rewind and ascend abilities in TotK, but the others are not for me. I do not want to build things with my time, and fused weapons either look goofy and silly or outrageous and ridiculous. I've found a few acceptable combinations, like making a katana with the blue lizalfos horn, but for the most part everything is a bulky, clipping silly weapon. I just want a sleek sword, I don't care for this stuff at all. I don't like ultrahand because it's used for 99% of shrines and puzzles. Giving the player too much freedom completely removes the challenge from the puzzles, it's very counterintuitive and boring. Limitations are a good thing in games. Either way, the game usually suggests a single solution to the puzzles and its painfully obvious every time. After using ultrahand SO much, it's really just tedious. And I actually have no issues with its controls. Also the summons.. you have to stand next to them in battle and hit A? They're either always too far so it's inconvenient to use, or running in my way when I'm collecting things causing me to accidentally use them.
Story... so far, I've done 3 of the temples. I really enjoyed the cutscenes with Tulin (even though the boss fight was terrible), I really liked him and the cutscene was great. Then... I did the next temple and it was the same cutscene basically. Copy pasted dialogue. And then the next, the same thing. Not only is the game's objective nearly identical to BotW (go to these 4 same cities and do the temples) but there's hardly even any variety between the stories themselves. It's all the SAME...
Combat... is whatever. No improvements from BotW. It's simple, doesn't involve any unique abilities (aside from reversing time on some enemy projectiles), and isn't engaging or rewarding. Dodge, flurry. Dodge, flurry. I'm not asking for a lot really, but they spent virtually no time from those 6 yeats improving the combat whatsoever.
I'm having a really hard time getting through this game. I was super hyped for this, I preordered the collectors edition. I want to love this game so bad, but I just can't. It's not a good game to me. I'm really upset because I think Zelda just isn't for me anymore. There is probably a lot more to say but eh, just really bummed. Does anyone else feel this way?

*Non-canon crews are not included, but canon formeinactive crews are
**Tell me in the comments about any crews I forgot
Alvida Pirates (Alvida's crew before she joined Buggy's)
Barto Club (Bartolomeo's crew)
Black Cat Pirates (Kuro's crew)
Bluejam Pirates (Bluejam's crew from the Post-War Arc flashback)
Buggy Pirates (Buggy's crew)
Cook Pirates (Zeff's former crew)
Krieg Pirates (Don Krieg's crew)
Red Hair Pirates (Shanks's crew)
Spade Pirates (Ace's former crew)
Straw Hat Pirates (this one doesn't need explaining)
Barrels Pirates (Diez Barrels's, X Drake's father, crew, which were wiped out by Corazon in Law's flashback)
Bellamy Pirates (Bellamy's crew)
Caribou Pirates (Caribou's crew)
Donquixote Pirates (Doflamingo's family)
Drake Pirates (X Drake's crew)
Hawkins Pirates (Hawkins's crew)
Heart Pirates (Law's crew)
Masira Pirates (Masira's crew from the Jaya Arc)
Bonney Pirates (Bonney's crew)
Gyro Pirates (Random crew led by Gyro, which was defeated by Hody Jones)
Kid Pirates (Kid's crew)
Shoujou Pirates (Shoujou's crew from the Jaya Arc)
Fire Tank Pirates (Bege's crew)
Happo Navy (Don Sai's crew, formerly led by Chinjao)
Rumbar Pirates (Brook's old crew)
Thriller Bark Pirates (Moria's crew)
Beautiful Pirates (Cavendish's crew)
Fallen Monk Pirates (Urouge's crew)
Macro Pirates (Random crew from the arc they meet Duval, I think it was Saboady)
New Fish-Man Pirates (Hody Jones's crew)
On Air Pirates (Apoo's crew)
Rolling Pirates (Lola's crew from Thriller Bark)
Sun Pirates (Jinbe's old crew)
Yonta Maria Grand Fleet (Orlumbus's crew)
Arlong Pirates (Arlong's crew)
Beasts Pirates (Kaidou's crew)
Big Mom Pirates (Big Mom's crew)
Giant Warrior Pirates (Dorry and Brogy's crew)
Ideo Pirates (Ideo's crew from Dressrosa)
New Giant Warrior Pirates (Hajrudin's crew)
Nox Pirates (Pedro's old crew)
Rocks Pirates (Xebec's crew)
Tontatta Pirates (Leo's crew)
A O Pirates (Subordinate crew of the Whitebeard Pirates, led by A O)
Bourgeois Pirates (Subordinate crew of the Red Hair Pirates led by Pururu)
Little Pirates (Subordinate crew of the Whitebeard Pirates led by Little Oars Jr.)
Maelstrom Spider Pirates (Subordinate crew of the Whitebeard Pirates led by Squard)
Peachbeard Pirates (Subordinate crew of the Blackbeard Pirates led by Peachbeard)
Puddle Pirates (Subordinate crew of the Red Hair Pirates led by Gerotini)
Social Club (Subordinate crew of the Red Hair Pirates led by Fugar)
Takotopus Pirates (Subordinate crew of the Whitebeard Pirates led by Karma)
Blackbeard Pirates (Teach's crew)
Whitebeard Pirates (Whitebeard's crew)
Roger Pirates (Roger's crew)
Golden Lion Pirates (Shiki's crew)
Usopp Pirates (Usopp's old crew, idk if this counts)
Bliking Pirates (Wapol's old crew)
Roshio Pirates (A crew led by Roshio, the dude that got killed by Bellamy in Jaya)
Foxy Pirates (Foxy's crew)
Fanged Toad Pirates (A crew that lost a Davy Back Fight against the Foxy Pirates)
Space Pirates (A crew of aliens encountered by Enel on Chapter 438's cover page)
Brownbeard Pirates (Brownbeard's crew before he ended up in Punk Hazard)
Flying Pirates (Vander Decken's crew)
Germ Pirates (A crew defeated by the Fire Tank Pirates in Chapter 963's cover page)
Acumate Pirates (A crew formerly led by Devil Dias before he was captured and sold as a slave in Saboady)
Big Helmet Pirates (A crew that was defeated by the Galley-La Company in Water 7 because they refused to pay)
Hokahoka Pirates (Random pirate crew from the Jaya Arc)
Kuja Pirates (Hancock's crew)
Candy Pirates (A crew that appeared in the "CP9's Independent Report" and was defeated by CP9)
Eraser Pirates (A crew that was attacked by Wyper when they entered Skypiea)
Fake Straw Hat Pirates (explains itself)
Gecko Pirates (Moria's former crew that was defeated by Kaidou)
Sasaki Pirates (Sasaki's former crew before joining the Beasts Pirates)
Who's-Who Pirates (Who's-Who's former crew before joining the Beasts Pirates)
Yes Pirates (A crew whose captain was arrested by Smoker in Loguetown)
Cross Guild (An organization formed by former Warlords, Mihawk and Crocodile)

Diretide/TI8/TI9/TI10/Nemestice/Aghanim's Immortals & Collector's Cache Sets FOR SALE
...........................................................................................

• We need to be friends for at least 30 days to be able to send the item/set as a gift
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Link to my spreadsheet, with all my prices, stock and reservations already made
TI8 COLLECTOR’S CACHE II SETS

SET(HERO)	ITEM VALUE	STOCK	NOTE
Shimmer of the Anointed (Nyx Assassin)	4$	12	-----
The Rat King (Chen)	5$	10	-----
Pattern of the Silken Queen (Broodmother)	5$	12	-----
Shackles of the Enduring Conscript (Axe)	6$	9	-----
Fires of the Volcanic Guard (Ember Spirit)	8$	11	-----
Loaded Prospects (Brewmaster)	10$	12	-----
Ire of the Molten Rebirth (Phoenix)	10$	8	-----
Pitmouse Fraternity (Meepo)	10$	6	-----
Raiments of the Obsidian Force (Underlord - Rare)	20$	9	-----

TI8 COLLECTOR’S CACHE I SETS

SET(HERO)	ITEM VALUE	STOCK	NOTE
Grasp of the Riven Exile (Weaver)	4$	9	-----
Insights of the Sapphire Shroud (Dark Seer)	4$	9	-----
Pillar of the Fractured Citadel (Spirit Breaker)	5$	7	-----
Primer of the Sapper's Guile (Techies)	6$	3	-----
Trail of the Sanguine Spectrum (Bloodseeker)	8$	4	-----
Molokau Stalker (Venomancer)	10$	10	-----
Raptures of the Abyssal Kin (Queen of Pain)	10$	4	-----
Morbific Provision (Witch Doctor)	10$	5	-----
Fate Meridian (Invoker)	15$	2	-----
The Murid Divine (Necrophos)	15$	7	-----

TI9 COLLECTOR'S CACHE II

SET(HERO)	ITEM VALUE	STOCK	NOTE
Automaton Antiquity (Broodmother)	5$	3	-----
Prized Acquisitions (Batrider)	5$	6	-----
Directive of the Sunbound (Clockwerk)	6$	4	-----
Tribal Pathways (Warlock)	6$	4	-----
Verdant Predator (Venomancer)	7$	2	-----
Sight of the Kha-Ren Faithful (Drow Ranger)	12$	4	-----

TI9 COLLECTOR'S CACHE I

SET(HERO)	ITEM VALUE	STOCK	NOTE
Riddle of the Hierophant (Oracle)	5$	1	-----

BP 2020 COLLECTOR'S CACHE II

SET(HERO)	ITEM VALUE	STOCK	NOTE
Secrets of the Celestial (Skywrath Mage)	5$	19	-----
Clearcut Cavalier (Timbersaw)	5$	17	-----
Carousal of the Mystic Masquerade (Rubick)	5$	20	-----
The King Of Thieves (Keeper of the Light)	5$	16	-----
Blaze of Oblivion (Phoenix)	5$	25	-----
Blacksail Cannoneer (Sniper)	5$	18	-----
Beast of the Crimson Ring (Bristleback)	7$	14	-----
Evolution of the Infinite (Enigma)	7$	19	-----
Wrath of the Fallen Ones (Doom)	7$	15	-----
Crown of Calaphas (Shadow Demon)	7$	17	-----
Talons of the Endless Storm (Chaos Knight)	9$	18	-----
Ire of the Ancient Gaoler (Arc Warden)	20$	8	-----
Horror from the Deep (Tidehunter)	20$	8	-----
Master of the Searing Path (Ember Spirit)	20$	8	-----
Steward of the Forbidden Chamber (Templar Assassin - Rare)	15$	26	-----

BP 2020 COLLECTOR'S CACHE I

SET(HERO)	ITEM VALUE	STOCK	NOTE
Songs of Starfall Glen (Enchantress)	5$	7	-----
Beholden of the Banished Ones (Warlock)	8$	5	-----
Herald of the Ember Eye (Grimstroke)	8$	6	-----
Apocalypse Unbound (Ancient Apparition)	8$	6	-----
Fury of the Righteous Storm (Disruptor)	10$	2	-----
Heartless Hunt (Bounty Hunter)	10$	1	-----
Flashpoint Proselyte (Huskar)	10$	3	-----
Fissured Flight (Jakiro)	10$	3	-----
Mindless Slaughter (Pudge)	15$	2	-----
Ancient Inheritance (Tiny - Rare)	20$	3	-----
Forsworn Legacy (Ares - Very Rare)	50$	1	-----

Nemestice Collector's Cache 2021

SET(HERO)	ITEM VALUE	STOCK	NOTE
Twilight Hex (Dark Willow)	5$	3	-----
Caerulean Star (Enchantress)	5$	5	-----
Silence of the Starweaver (Oracle)	5$	3	-----
Astral Terminus (Enigma)	10$	2	-----
Desert Bloom (Nature's Prophet)	10$	1	-----

Aghanim's 2021 Collector's Cache

SET(HERO)	ITEM VALUE	STOCK	NOTE
Secrets of the Frost Singularity (Ancient Apparition)	3$	7	-----
The Chained Scribe (Grimstroke)	4$	5	-----
Forgotten Fate (Mars)	8$	4	-----
March of the Crackerjack Mage (Rubick)	8$	3	-----
Blightfall (Abaddon)	10$	1	-----
Widow of the Undermount Gloom (Broodmother)	10$	1	-----
Apex Automated (Clockwerk)	10$	1	-----
Days of the Demon (Axe)	10$	1	-----
Perils of the Red Banks (Chen)	10$	2	-----
Pyrexae Polymorph Perfected (Ogre Magi - Rare)	15$	4	-----

Diretide 2022 Collector's Cache II

SET(HERO)	ITEM VALUE	STOCK	NOTE
Grand Suppressor (Silencer)	2.5$	15	-----
Darkbrew´s Transgression (Alchemist)	2.5$	16	-----
Transcendent Path (Oracle)	2.5$	15	-----
The Wilding Tiger (Brewmaster)	2.5$	15	-----
Dawn of Darkness Foretold (Doom)	2.5$	15	-----
Cursed Cryptbreaker (Pudge)	2.5$	14	-----
Feasts of Forever (Night Stalker)	2.5$	16	-----
Withering Pain (Clinkz)	2.5$	16	-----
Freebot Fortunes (Ogre Magi)	2.5$	14	-----
Acrimonioes of Obsession (Vengeful Spirit)	2.5$	14	-----
Sacred Chamber Guardian (Huskar)	2.5$	16	-----
War Rig Eradicators (Techies)	2.5$	14	-----
Darkfeather Factioneer (Phantom Assassin)	5$	11	-----
Bird of Prey (Legion Commander)	10$	4	-----
Grudges of the Gallows Tree (Treant Protector - Rare)	10$	16	-----
Brands of the Reaper (Anti-Mage - Rare)	10$	13	-----
Sublime Equilibrium (Void Spirit - Very Rare)	25$	3	-----

Diretide 2022 Collector's Cache I

SET(HERO)	ITEM VALUE	STOCK	NOTE
Hounds of Obsession (Chen)	2.5$	18	-----
Seadog's Stash (Clockwerk)	2.5$	18	-----
Chines of the Inquisitor (Faceless Void)	2.5$	17	-----
Trophies of the Hallowed Hunt (Ursa)	2.5$	16	-----
Crimson Dawn (Phoenix)	2.5$	18	-----
Fogotten Station (Terrorblade)	2.5$	19	-----
Dirge Amplifier (Undying)	2.5$	17	-----
Champion of the Fire Lotus (Monkey King)	2.5$	16	-----
Deathstitch Shaman (Witch Doctor)	2.5$	18	-----
Spoils of the Shadowveil (Spectre)	5$	10	-----
Scarlet Subversion (Riki)	5$	8	-----
Whippersnapper (Snapfire)	8$	8	-----
Shadowleaf Insurgent (Hoodwink)	10$	4	-----
Starlorn Adjudicator (Dawnbreaker)	10$	5	-----
Blue Horizons (Marci - Rare)	10$	11	-----
Angel of Vex (Invoker - Rare)	15$	4	-----
Dark Behemoth (Primal Beast - Very Rare)	25$	4	-----

IMMORTAL TREASURE II 2022

SET(HERO)	ITEM VALUE	STOCK	NOTE
Limbs of Lycosidae (Broodmother)	1$	2	-----
Draca Mane (Huskar)	1$	1	-----
Sullen Sanctum (Necrophos)	1$	2	-----
Insight of Forlorn Precipice (Dark Seer)	1$	2	-----
Draconic Divide (Dragon Knight)	1$	2	-----
Tremors of the Tandem Storm (Disruptor)	4$	1	-----
Golden Draca Mane (Huskar)	6$	1	-----
Golden Sullen Sanctum (Necrophos)	6$	2	-----

IMMORTAL TREASURE I 2022

SET(HERO)	ITEM VALUE	STOCK	NOTE
infernal Cavalcade (Centaur Warrunner)	1$	6	-----
Flutterstep (Enchantress)	1$	6	-----
Seclusions of the Void (Templar Assassin)	1$	7	-----
Aktok's Glory (Venomancer)	1$	6	-----
Everglyph Goggles (Meepo)	1$	7	-----
Blastmitt Berserker Bundle (Bristleback)	4$	1	-----
Seclusions of the Void (Templar Assassin)	6$	1	-----
Infernal Cavalcade (Centaur Warrunner)	6$	3	-----
The Strings of Suradan Bundle (Hoodwink)	30$	1	-----

AGELESS HEIRLOOMS 2022

SET(HERO)	ITEM VALUE	STOCK	NOTE
Howls of the Northmarch (Anti-Mage)	1$	4	-----
Faction of the Feather (Templar Assassin)	1$	3	-----
Melange of the Firelord (Chaos Knight)	1$	4	-----
Heinous Exultation (Razor)	1$	5	-----
Tangled Tropics (Monkey King)	1$	4	-----
Fury of the Thunderhawk (Zeus)	1$	4	-----
Oaths of the Beloved (Death Prophet)	1$	4	-----
Twilight Legions (Night Stalker)	2.5$	3	-----
Jewels of Anamnessa (Medusa)	5$	1	-----
Wings of Imperium (Mars)	15$	1	-----

The Battle Pass Collection 2022

SET(HERO)	ITEM VALUE	STOCK	NOTE
Hides of Hostility (Huskar)	1$	4	-----
Heat of the Sixth Hell (Doom)	1$	4	-----
Nefarious Fixations (Lion)	1$	3	-----
Distinguished Forgemaster (Clockwerk)	1$	4	-----
Volcanic Sanctuary (Broodmother)	1$	3	-----
Obsidian Atrocity (Lifestealer)	1$	4	-----
Charms of the Firefiend (Batrider)	5$	1	-----
Molten Bore (Mars)	10$	1	-----

DEAD RECKONING CHEST

SET(HERO)	ITEM VALUE	STOCK	NOTE
Dead Heat (Lina)	6$	1	-----
Dying Light (Dawnbreaker)	6$	1	-----
Death Adder (Medusa)	6$	1	-----
Soul Serpent (Viper)	6$	1	-----

SteamRep

I hunted monsters for an international anomaly research center
Part 2
I decided instead of telling you about the next monster I’d planned I will tell you all what I did last week. I’d heard about this anomaly before, but that was because it was contained. Not by our organization but by one we work closely with. They’d been keeping it well in their Puerto Rico containment facility, but it managed to escape during a power outage. They’d insisted on trying to capture it themselves for a couple of days before they finally let me come in. Normally I’d be mad that they couldn’t catch it, but the Scape Ore Swamp Lizard Man is no walk in the park.
Standing 10 feet long, 8 feet tall, and pure muscle this thing is practically a walking tank. It has an almost inch-thick hide of small black snake-like scales. It stands on two legs but can switch to four when needed. It has a large head with a long muzzle full of sharp venomous teeth. Its face is always contorted into a scowl adding to its frightful appearance. Its back is covered in large spiked scutes which start at the head to the tip of the tail. On its two large four-fingered hands are two-inch-long nasty claws.
They deployed me the same way as always, and I landed with a light thud on the jungle floor after I was unlatched from the parachute and harness. I looked out at the darkening jungle around me. My search would be far from easy. I knew that, as I needed more information about where it was. However, after getting my sniper railgun ready I began my pursuit.
My pursuit was aimless and tiring. I had no direction, and the heat was slowly burning me alive. The jungle was full of loud squawking birds. At one point I looked up and saw in the evening light a small group of bats flying overhead.
I walked slowly and steadily scanning the quickly darkening ground for something, but as I suspected there was nothing in sight. No sigh from the lizardman. I walked on and on until finally, I found something. They were large three-toed tracks that almost looked like ones a T-rex would’ve made. My heart leaped in joy and excitement and I began following the footprints. They were easy to follow as the heavy feet had sunk deep into the wet muddy ground of the jungle. They followed no path and almost walked the way I had been walking aimlessly. Until like me, it seemed to have found something to follow.
Its path led in an almost perfect straight line, having trampled almost anything that wasn’t a tree out of its way. I noticed as I followed its tracks large claw marks in the trees. There were three and they were long and deep.
I followed for a good long while still tired but my determination had increased 10 fold now that there was a path to follow. As I walked along I began to hear something off in the distance. It was so faint it was hard to discern. At first, I thought it might be some sort of birdcall, but then it clicked in my head. It screamed. I started running as fast as I could through the jungle tripping at one point but pulling myself back up.
Eventually, I found myself running into a field. What I saw in that field I’ll never forget. I don’t know what it is, but I’ve never been bothered by dead humans before. In my youth when I’d go to funerals seeing the body never disturbed me. I’d be sure but the body itself never made me uncomfortable. And after I got this job I got completely desensitized, but something about dead animals. I could never handle seeing a dead animal. I don’t know exactly why. I guess it’s because it brought me back to my childhood.
My dad was born in Mexico in 1979, but he and his family moved to Puerto Rico 3 years later. My dad lived in Puerto Rico during the horrifying but short reign of the Chupacabra. When I was little he would tell me stories about it. Fields of livestock just on the ground dead wholly drained of blood. Those stories actually started me down the route of where I am today, but I don’t think I ever really comprehended what that looked like until I saw the massacre in the field I was now in.
It almost seemed as though a sheet of blood and muscle and meat had fallen over the field. It was absolutely everywhere and dispersed throughout this massacre I could see small bits of bones. Vertebrae there, or a rib over there. It almost looked like they’d all exploded from the inside at the same time, but I know that is not what happened. I saw the footprints in the ground, I saw the claw marks in the bones. I knew the only thing that could’ve done this was the horrible beast I was hunting.
I walked around through the massacre for a while in a sort of shock. Then I finally snapped out of it and looked around again. I saw a house separated only by a now broken wood fence to the field. I instantly knew where the screams had come from and what had likely happened. I ran toward the house and a story began to unfold as I got closer. The father or man of the house must’ve come outside to defend his family because I found his body ripped apart just outside the front door.
I stepped over the body and walked into the tiny house. It was absolutely destroyed. The walls were torn apart, furniture was left shattered on the ground, and there was lots of blood. I looked over and saw a partial body on the living room floor. I grimaced when I realized the poor thing had once been a big dog. Now it was nothing but torn meat and bones. One step at a time I made my way to the back of the house down a cramped hallway. In the bedrooms were the destroyed bodies of a woman and three children. The only peace I had was that these people died quickly. I noticed at the end of the hall was a shattered glass backdoor. I stepped through it, almost slipping on the shards of glass still on the floor, and walked into the backyard. It was a tiny cleared area surrounded by trees. The ground was littered with small dog toys and in the corner was a chicken coop. The roof of it had been ripped off and shattered. I peeked in through the hole and saw lots of blood-covered eggs. It looked like, unlike the other animals, the lizardman had actually stopped eating all the chickens. Maybe all of that butchering worked up an appetite. I thought.
After calling in for the investigation crew I continued on my trail. The sun had completely set and navigated the dense jungle even with my bright headlight showing the way. Not long into it rain began pouring which completely covered the tracks. In frustration, I turned around and made my way back to the farm.
Suddenly I heard something from the treetops. It sounded almost like a faint growl and before I could do anything else the large figure of the Lizardman jumped from the trees right in front of me. It immediately slashed at my chest and left arm tearing them open causing blood to start pouring through. I let out a scream of agony and fell to the ground.
With my good right arm, I reached for a gadget on my belt and pressed it. It instantly began spraying a strong wonderful smell of flowers into the air. If there’s one thing the lizardman cannot tolerate it is sweet solid smells. It roared in anger and then sprinted in the other direction. I lay there blood seeping from my wounds wondering if I was about to die. I’m not old, only 26, but for my line of work, I’m ancient; about half the guys die on their first or second mission. If you survive the first two you will probably last much longer, but even then people die within two years meanwhile I’ve been here for 5 years.
I lay there with my eyes slowly growing heavier and heavier and then they closed and I was consumed by the darkness.
I woke up in a bright white room. The light was so blinding I kept blinking but still could hardly see anything. I noticed a woman standing in the room who was like the room wearing all white.
“Am I dead?” I sputtered out in my half-dazed confusion.
The woman let out a slight chuckle: “No you’re not dead. You’re in the medical wing of our Puerto Rican location.” She explained.
As she was talking everything seemed to clear around me. It was a small hospital room and the woman was short in a doctor's coat with dark hair tied in a bun.
“Who’s we?” I asked.
“USDAC,” She said, busy with something at her table.
I knew USDAC they were the United States Department of Anomaly Containment. They were the ones the Lizardman had escaped from.
“Where’s my organization? Why didn’t they send the team out to get me?” I asked angrily.
“I’m not quite sure. They never even told us you went down. Our investigation team was looking around the jungle when they found you.” She said with a genuinely confused look on her face.
I scanned the room again and saw on a chair next to my bed all my gear laid out nicely. I reached for my walkie, grabbed it, and pulled it off of my belt.
“This is Trigger to dispatch, do you copy?” I asked through the device.
“We copy, you aren’t dead?” The receiver asked, obviously very confused.
“Not yet. Why didn’t you send the team out to get me?” I asked more confused than angry at this point.
“They said you were gone. They said the lizardman had got you.” He said.
“Well, he hasn’t got me yet,” I said defiantly then hung up.
“Mam, I’m going to go finish what I started, but I am going to need a few things.”
I suppose a few things were a bit of an understatement. I had them get the best tracker they could find out here, which they quickly got to do. I got a whole new set of equipment more specialized for the task at hand I filed a hasty but fierce resignation letter to my organization siting leaving me for dead as the primary cause. They never even got back to me and needless to say, I was pissed. I knew the moment USDAC found out I was no longer part of the organization they’d send me away, so I decided I’d better be quick with this operation.
I pulled the small Uhaul full of supplies down the dirt road. Next to me sat Santiago, an older Native American man with a long black salt and pepper braided ponytail. He’d worked with both my organization and USDAC for a number of years and had much experience in tracking beasties like this one.
“So, where exactly are we going?” I asked looking at him.
“Well we’re going to the most recent attack and I’m hoping to get there by noon so if you could step on it that would be lovely.” He said sounding rather harsh.
I nodded and pushed slightly more on the accelerator. I would’ve started flying down this road but this truck was not built for dirt roads so I had to do my best.
As I drove Santiago busied himself with a map. I watched out of the corner of my eye as he put small red x’s on certain spots. I assumed those were the previous attacks. Occasionally he would look up from his work to make sure I was still going in the right direction and finally, after he directed me to turn onto a smaller more unkept dirt road we arrived at the farm.
It was eerily similar to the other. The house was destroyed and the field was full of massacred goats. Although the main difference was this one was swarming with USDAC investigation teams. Four big black vans were parked in front of the home, almost blocking my view. I stopped the truck and me and Santiago both stepped out. We walked over to the house and one of the investigators met us at the door.
He was tall with a weathered face and a strong chin that made him look like an actor. He had nicely done silver hair, stubble, and hazel eyes. A slight grin appeared on his face when he saw us.
“You two must be the hunters, I’m Detective Slade.” He greeted, sticking his hand out for a shake.
I took his hand first. “Hello Slade, I’m Agent Biel,” I said shaking his hand with Santiago quickly doing the same.
After we finished with formalities Slade led us around the house and into the field behind it. It felt like deja vu looking at the field. It told almost the exact same story mine did. Dozens of torn-apart goats and a small now empty chicken coop. I looked at all of it in disgust. The animals had no time to defend themselves they were just destroyed.
Santiago began scanning the mess on the ground looking for tracks to follow. Meanwhile, I stood talking with Slade.
“This is the eighth attack in four days, it looks like it’s making two attacks every night.” Slade explained, “So far it has killed 37 people, 650 goats, 242 cows, and has eaten almost 300 chickens.”
“Have you noticed a pattern?” I asked.
“Besides attacking at night not really. It usually attacks the fields first, but even that isn’t always the case.”
“I found something.” Santiago interrupted.
He stood by the edge of the field that met the jungle. I saw the large tracks of the beast leading into the jungle.

**Me and Santiago lugged the heavy equipment through the jungle we were tired and hot, but we continued knowing that the lizardman was likely close by. The sun had begun to sink low in the sky as we marched on. I was surprised at the path of the lizardman it had literally walked a straight line for miles upon miles. Only ever turning for a large tree or a hill. We were hoping we would get to the things nest before it went on its next night excursion but we weren’t extremely hopeful. I could only hope that the wretched thing was still wherever it rests.** **Suddenly their hike was interrupted by a loud call. I looked above to see a large tropical bird eyeing me from a branch. It was brightly colored vaguely reminding me of a parrot. Oddly I gave the bird a nod and then caught up to Santiago who’d ignored the bird and kept walking.** **Eventually, the sun set and we both had to turn our lights on. My body was beginning to grow heavy and I could tell it was the same for Santiago, but right as we seemed to the point of giving up we arrived at the edge of a lake. It was small and had short sandy beaches separating it from the jungle. Perfectly outlined in the sand were the feet of the lizardman. It had clear as day walked straight into the lake. We both looked at each other. He was clearly as unsure about the situation as I was. We stood there contemplating when I noticed something.** **The lake had a few logs floating in it but one didn’t look like the other. It was far too symmetrical. I scanned my light over it and realized the texture I’d thought of as bark was actually scaled. Then suddenly my light scanned over to the head and its bright red eyes opened wide. It let out a roar and started swimming toward us. I dropped my bag and hurriedly put my remaining gear on. Santiago dropped his and took aim with his rifle.** **BANG! The shot echoed through the quiet air and I saw it clearly hit the thing right in the center of the forehead. The bullet tinked off like it had hit thick steel. The Lizardman swam closer and as the water got shallower it transitioned from swimming to sprinting. The second it took a step on shore I struck. I slammed one of my gauntlet-bearing fists into the thing's face. There was a loud audible crack as it fell over. It quickly stood back up and slashed at my thick steel armor. It did nothing but scrape off some paint and I pulled my fist back and punched it again. It stumbled again and before it could recover I punched it again and again.** **Immediately after the punch it lunged forward its jaws latching on to either side of my helmet. I heard the sounds of it and felt the metal beginning to bend in on itself. I kicked the thing where I knew it would hurt. It unlatched from my face and I uppercut it right in the lower jaw. It fell into the water letting out a whimper-type noise as it did.** **I stood over the beast having misjudged it as defeated. In a second wind, it grabbed me by the leg and threw me into a tree. I heard my suit crack and crunch having been badly damaged. The lizardman started over at me threateningly and in a quick burst of speed it charged over to me.** **BANG! BANG! BANG! His first shot struck the side of its head getting its attention, and as it turned the second bullet struck it directly in its left eye. The third and final bullet struck its nose harmlessly. It roar in pain and charged towards Santiago, but I jumped up and grabbed it by the tail. I held it still for a moment before it did something that caught me off, guard. It turned around and bit off its own tail. It then continued charging toward Santiago. His bullets struck it again and again but its hide was far too strong. Quickly I dropped the tail and pulled out a canister pulling the pin and throwing it. A wonderful smell erupted from it as it soared through the air and landed right in front of Santiago.** **The Lizardman backed away from him dizzy from the overpowering smell. I pulled myself off the ground and charged towards it. I jumped on top of the thing pinning it to the ground.** **“Meds!” I yelled to him as the Lizardman was already struggling.** **Santiago reached into its mouth that I held open and shoved the tranquilizer down its throat. After another minute of shaking and struggling it finally blacked out. I pulled out my walkie and called in dispatch.** **“The lizard is down,” I said simply.** **Within minutes they had a dozen helicopters out there and had the creature properly restrained.** **I walked over to the man who appeared to be in charge. He was average height with blonde hair combed to the side, aviator glasses, and a nice gray suit. “I’d recommend you step up the security on that thing,” I suggested.** **He turned around and looked at me for a moment, almost studying me.** 

“We will be.” He said finally. “I am personally seeing that it is brought to our most secure location.”
“Good, good, I don’t want to ever deal with that thing again.” I chuckled.
He looked closer at me after I said that and it seemed to click in his head who I was.
“Agent Biel, I’m very happy to see you. I got word of your resignation at UARF.” He said sounding oddly sad.
I prepared for the worst as I was technically not supposed to be here.
“Yeah, I wasn’t exactly happy with being left for dead,” I grumbled.
“Well sir I promise if you take my offer you won’t be left for dead,” He said smiling now.
I paused for a moment unsure what he meant. Then it seemed to click he was hiring me and I took his hand and shook it vigorously.
“I do accept your offer, sir,” I yelled excitedly.
“You can call me Dr.Barclay,” He said politely shaking my hand back.
So that is how I was hired here at USDAC and I’ve already discovered that they do things quite differently here but that is a story for another day. Biel out.

I hunted monsters for an international anomaly research center
Part 2
I decided instead of telling you about the next monster I’d planned I will tell you all what I did last week. I’d heard about this anomaly before, but that was because it was contained. Not by our organization but by one we work closely with. They’d been keeping it well in their Puerto Rico containment facility, but it managed to escape during a power outage. They’d insisted on trying to capture it themselves for a couple of days before they finally let me come in. Normally I’d be mad that they couldn’t catch it, but the Scape Ore Swamp Lizard Man is no walk in the park.
Standing 10 feet long, 8 feet tall, and pure muscle this thing is practically a walking tank. It has an almost inch-thick hide of small black snake-like scales. It stands on two legs but can switch to four when needed. It has a large head with a long muzzle full of sharp venomous teeth. Its face is always contorted into a scowl adding to its frightful appearance. Its back is covered in large spiked scutes which start at the head to the tip of the tail. On its two large four-fingered hands are two-inch-long nasty claws.
They deployed me the same way as always, and I landed with a light thud on the jungle floor after I was unlatched from the parachute and harness. I looked out at the darkening jungle around me. My search would be far from easy. I knew that, as I needed more information about where it was. However, after getting my sniper railgun ready I began my pursuit.
My pursuit was aimless and tiring. I had no direction, and the heat was slowly burning me alive. The jungle was full of loud squawking birds. At one point I looked up and saw in the evening light a small group of bats flying overhead.
I walked slowly and steadily scanning the quickly darkening ground for something, but as I suspected there was nothing in sight. No sigh from the lizardman. I walked on and on until finally, I found something. They were large three-toed tracks that almost looked like ones a T-rex would’ve made. My heart leaped in joy and excitement and I began following the footprints. They were easy to follow as the heavy feet had sunk deep into the wet muddy ground of the jungle. They followed no path and almost walked the way I had been walking aimlessly. Until like me, it seemed to have found something to follow.
Its path led in an almost perfect straight line, having trampled almost anything that wasn’t a tree out of its way. I noticed as I followed its tracks large claw marks in the trees. There were three and they were long and deep.
I followed for a good long while still tired but my determination had increased 10 fold now that there was a path to follow. As I walked along I began to hear something off in the distance. It was so faint it was hard to discern. At first, I thought it might be some sort of birdcall, but then it clicked in my head. It screamed. I started running as fast as I could through the jungle tripping at one point but pulling myself back up.
Eventually, I found myself running into a field. What I saw in that field I’ll never forget. I don’t know what it is, but I’ve never been bothered by dead humans before. In my youth when I’d go to funerals seeing the body never disturbed me. I’d be sure but the body itself never made me uncomfortable. And after I got this job I got completely desensitized, but something about dead animals. I could never handle seeing a dead animal. I don’t know exactly why. I guess it’s because it brought me back to my childhood.
My dad was born in Mexico in 1979, but he and his family moved to Puerto Rico 3 years later. My dad lived in Puerto Rico during the horrifying but short reign of the Chupacabra. When I was little he would tell me stories about it. Fields of livestock just on the ground dead wholly drained of blood. Those stories actually started me down the route of where I am today, but I don’t think I ever really comprehended what that looked like until I saw the massacre in the field I was now in.
It almost seemed as though a sheet of blood and muscle and meat had fallen over the field. It was absolutely everywhere and dispersed throughout this massacre I could see small bits of bones. Vertebrae there, or a rib over there. It almost looked like they’d all exploded from the inside at the same time, but I know that is not what happened. I saw the footprints in the ground, I saw the claw marks in the bones. I knew the only thing that could’ve done this was the horrible beast I was hunting.
I walked around through the massacre for a while in a sort of shock. Then I finally snapped out of it and looked around again. I saw a house separated only by a now broken wood fence to the field. I instantly knew where the screams had come from and what had likely happened. I ran toward the house and a story began to unfold as I got closer. The father or man of the house must’ve come outside to defend his family because I found his body ripped apart just outside the front door.
I stepped over the body and walked into the tiny house. It was absolutely destroyed. The walls were torn apart, furniture was left shattered on the ground, and there was lots of blood. I looked over and saw a partial body on the living room floor. I grimaced when I realized the poor thing had once been a big dog. Now it was nothing but torn meat and bones. One step at a time I made my way to the back of the house down a cramped hallway. In the bedrooms were the destroyed bodies of a woman and three children. The only peace I had was that these people died quickly. I noticed at the end of the hall was a shattered glass backdoor. I stepped through it, almost slipping on the shards of glass still on the floor, and walked into the backyard. It was a tiny cleared area surrounded by trees. The ground was littered with small dog toys and in the corner was a chicken coop. The roof of it had been ripped off and shattered. I peeked in through the hole and saw lots of blood-covered eggs. It looked like, unlike the other animals, the lizardman had actually stopped eating all the chickens. Maybe all of that butchering worked up an appetite. I thought.
After calling in for the investigation crew I continued on my trail. The sun had completely set and navigated the dense jungle even with my bright headlight showing the way. Not long into it rain began pouring which completely covered the tracks. In frustration, I turned around and made my way back to the farm.
Suddenly I heard something from the treetops. It sounded almost like a faint growl and before I could do anything else the large figure of the Lizardman jumped from the trees right in front of me. It immediately slashed at my chest and left arm tearing them open causing blood to start pouring through. I let out a scream of agony and fell to the ground.
With my good right arm, I reached for a gadget on my belt and pressed it. It instantly began spraying a strong wonderful smell of flowers into the air. If there’s one thing the lizardman cannot tolerate it is sweet solid smells. It roared in anger and then sprinted in the other direction. I lay there blood seeping from my wounds wondering if I was about to die. I’m not old, only 26, but for my line of work, I’m ancient; about half the guys die on their first or second mission. If you survive the first two you will probably last much longer, but even then people die within two years meanwhile I’ve been here for 5 years.
I lay there with my eyes slowly growing heavier and heavier and then they closed and I was consumed by the darkness.
I woke up in a bright white room. The light was so blinding I kept blinking but still could hardly see anything. I noticed a woman standing in the room who was like the room wearing all white.
“Am I dead?” I sputtered out in my half-dazed confusion.
The woman let out a slight chuckle: “No you’re not dead. You’re in the medical wing of our Puerto Rican location.” She explained.
As she was talking everything seemed to clear around me. It was a small hospital room and the woman was short in a doctor's coat with dark hair tied in a bun.
“Who’s we?” I asked.
“USDAC,” She said, busy with something at her table.
I knew USDAC they were the United States Department of Anomaly Containment. They were the ones the Lizardman had escaped from.
“Where’s my organization? Why didn’t they send the team out to get me?” I asked angrily.
“I’m not quite sure. They never even told us you went down. Our investigation team was looking around the jungle when they found you.” She said with a genuinely confused look on her face.
I scanned the room again and saw on a chair next to my bed all my gear laid out nicely. I reached for my walkie, grabbed it, and pulled it off of my belt.
“This is Trigger to dispatch, do you copy?” I asked through the device.
“We copy, you aren’t dead?” The receiver asked, obviously very confused.
“Not yet. Why didn’t you send the team out to get me?” I asked more confused than angry at this point.
“They said you were gone. They said the lizardman had got you.” He said.
“Well, he hasn’t got me yet,” I said defiantly then hung up.
“Mam, I’m going to go finish what I started, but I am going to need a few things.”
I suppose a few things were a bit of an understatement. I had them get the best tracker they could find out here, which they quickly got to do. I got a whole new set of equipment more specialized for the task at hand I filed a hasty but fierce resignation letter to my organization siting leaving me for dead as the primary cause. They never even got back to me and needless to say, I was pissed. I knew the moment USDAC found out I was no longer part of the organization they’d send me away, so I decided I’d better be quick with this operation.
I pulled the small Uhaul full of supplies down the dirt road. Next to me sat Santiago, an older Native American man with a long black salt and pepper braided ponytail. He’d worked with both my organization and USDAC for a number of years and had much experience in tracking beasties like this one.
“So, where exactly are we going?” I asked looking at him.
“Well we’re going to the most recent attack and I’m hoping to get there by noon so if you could step on it that would be lovely.” He said sounding rather harsh.
I nodded and pushed slightly more on the accelerator. I would’ve started flying down this road but this truck was not built for dirt roads so I had to do my best.
As I drove Santiago busied himself with a map. I watched out of the corner of my eye as he put small red x’s on certain spots. I assumed those were the previous attacks. Occasionally he would look up from his work to make sure I was still going in the right direction and finally, after he directed me to turn onto a smaller more unkept dirt road we arrived at the farm.
It was eerily similar to the other. The house was destroyed and the field was full of massacred goats. Although the main difference was this one was swarming with USDAC investigation teams. Four big black vans were parked in front of the home, almost blocking my view. I stopped the truck and me and Santiago both stepped out. We walked over to the house and one of the investigators met us at the door.
He was tall with a weathered face and a strong chin that made him look like an actor. He had nicely done silver hair, stubble, and hazel eyes. A slight grin appeared on his face when he saw us.
“You two must be the hunters, I’m Detective Slade.” He greeted, sticking his hand out for a shake.
I took his hand first. “Hello Slade, I’m Agent Biel,” I said shaking his hand with Santiago quickly doing the same.
After we finished with formalities Slade led us around the house and into the field behind it. It felt like deja vu looking at the field. It told almost the exact same story mine did. Dozens of torn-apart goats and a small now empty chicken coop. I looked at all of it in disgust. The animals had no time to defend themselves they were just destroyed.
Santiago began scanning the mess on the ground looking for tracks to follow. Meanwhile, I stood talking with Slade.
“This is the eighth attack in four days, it looks like it’s making two attacks every night.” Slade explained, “So far it has killed 37 people, 650 goats, 242 cows, and has eaten almost 300 chickens.”
“Have you noticed a pattern?” I asked.
“Besides attacking at night not really. It usually attacks the fields first, but even that isn’t always the case.”
“I found something.” Santiago interrupted.
He stood by the edge of the field that met the jungle. I saw the large tracks of the beast leading into the jungle.
Me and Santiago lugged the heavy equipment through the jungle we were tired and hot, but we continued knowing that the lizardman was likely close by. The sun had begun to sink low in the sky as we marched on. I was surprised at the path of the lizardman it had literally walked a straight line for miles upon miles. Only ever turning for a large tree or a hill. We were hoping we would get to the things nest before it went on its next night excursion but we weren’t extremely hopeful. I could only hope that the wretched thing was still wherever it rests.
Suddenly their hike was interrupted by a loud call. I looked above to see a large tropical bird eyeing me from a branch. It was brightly colored vaguely reminding me of a parrot. Oddly I gave the bird a nod and then caught up to Santiago who’d ignored the bird and kept walking.
Eventually, the sun set and we both had to turn our lights on. My body was beginning to grow heavy and I could tell it was the same for Santiago, but right as we seemed to the point of giving up we arrived at the edge of a lake. It was small and had short sandy beaches separating it from the jungle. Perfectly outlined in the sand were the feet of the lizardman. It had clear as day walked straight into the lake. We both looked at each other. He was clearly as unsure about the situation as I was. We stood there contemplating when I noticed something.
The lake had a few logs floating in it but one didn’t look like the other. It was far too symmetrical. I scanned my light over it and realized the texture I’d thought of as bark was actually scaled. Then suddenly my light scanned over to the head and its bright red eyes opened wide. It let out a roar and started swimming toward us. I dropped my bag and hurriedly put my remaining gear on. Santiago dropped his and took aim with his rifle.
BANG! The shot echoed through the quiet air and I saw it clearly hit the thing right in the center of the forehead. The bullet tinked off like it had hit thick steel. The Lizardman swam closer and as the water got shallower it transitioned from swimming to sprinting. The second it took a step on shore I struck. I slammed one of my gauntlet-bearing fists into the thing's face. There was a loud audible crack as it fell over. It quickly stood back up and slashed at my thick steel armor. It did nothing but scrape off some paint and I pulled my fist back and punched it again. It stumbled again and before it could recover I punched it again and again.
Immediately after the punch it lunged forward its jaws latching on to either side of my helmet. I heard the sounds of it and felt the metal beginning to bend in on itself. I kicked the thing where I knew it would hurt. It unlatched from my face and I uppercut it right in the lower jaw. It fell into the water letting out a whimper-type noise as it did.
I stood over the beast having misjudged it as defeated. In a second wind, it grabbed me by the leg and threw me into a tree. I heard my suit crack and crunch having been badly damaged. The lizardman started over at me threateningly and in a quick burst of speed it charged over to me.
BANG! BANG! BANG! His first shot struck the side of its head getting its attention, and as it turned the second bullet struck it directly in its left eye. The third and final bullet struck its nose harmlessly. It roar in pain and charged towards Santiago, but I jumped up and grabbed it by the tail. I held it still for a moment before it did something that caught me off, guard. It turned around and bit off its own tail. It then continued charging toward Santiago. His bullets struck it again and again but its hide was far too strong. Quickly I dropped the tail and pulled out a canister pulling the pin and throwing it. A wonderful smell erupted from it as it soared through the air and landed right in front of Santiago.
The Lizardman backed away from him dizzy from the overpowering smell. I pulled myself off the ground and charged towards it. I jumped on top of the thing pinning it to the ground.
“Meds!” I yelled to him as the Lizardman was already struggling.
Santiago reached into its mouth that I held open and shoved the tranquilizer down its throat. After another minute of shaking and struggling it finally blacked out. I pulled out my walkie and called in dispatch.
“The lizard is down,” I said simply.
Within minutes they had a dozen helicopters out there and had the creature properly restrained.
I walked over to the man who appeared to be in charge. He was average height with blonde hair combed to the side, aviator glasses, and a nice gray suit. “I’d recommend you step up the security on that thing,” I suggested.
He turned around and looked at me for a moment, almost studying me.
“We will be.” He said finally. “I am personally seeing that it is brought to our most secure location.”
“Good, good, I don’t want to ever deal with that thing again.” I chuckled.
He looked closer at me after I said that and it seemed to click in his head who I was.
“Agent Biel, I’m very happy to see you. I got word of your resignation at UARF.” He said sounding oddly sad.
I prepared for the worst as I was technically not supposed to be here.
“Yeah, I wasn’t exactly happy with being left for dead,” I grumbled.
“Well sir I promise if you take my offer you won’t be left for dead,” He said smiling now.
I paused for a moment unsure what he meant. Then it seemed to click he was hiring me and I took his hand and shook it vigorously.
“I do accept your offer, sir,” I yelled excitedly.
“You can call me Dr.Barclay,” He said politely shaking my hand back.
So that is how I was hired here at USDAC and I’ve already discovered that they do things quite differently here but that is a story for another day. Biel out.

I started playing the base game a couple months ago and I've defeated the divine beasts and and just about ready to face Ganon. I'm mostly exploring, upgrading gear, and just having fun with it right now. So my question is with totk having come now is it still worth it to buy the dlc or should I just play the base game and get totk when I'm done?

So... I made it at last, my first Ultra Ending. Raven Dark Elven Paladin, Starting C and finishing L+.
It was the first time I was trying an Ultra (well, after a few recent early fails due to carelessness). All in all, I didn't find it much harder than a Normal Ending : Having to stay C at the start of the game has some drawbacks, of course, like encountering hostile dwarves (I did the Rolf quest, too), but all in all, game difficulty is about the same. There are more quests to do and more things to plan, though, and I really enjoyed that (in a sense, it was like playing a new game).
The reason for Raven DE Paladin and L+ Ultra is that it's probably the easiest possible Ultra (or at the very least close to it) : Raven ensures that you get the Rune Covered Trident early, which in turn guarantees that you can start training Polearms and Thrown Spears early. DE Paladins have good survivability early on, and are beasts when it comes to melee *and* magic by the late game.
Starting attributes (unadjusted) were : St 15 / Le 4 / Wp 17 / De 14 / To 15 / Ch 1 / Ap 4 / Ma 17 / Pe 16
Le 4 allows to get the Potion of Litteracy, which was fed to the Demented Ratling. Pe 16 is enough to reach 20 after the bonuses are taken into account (+2 from job +Alert).
Early game was killing a Mugger, locating the stairs and getting the Blanket in the SMC (in the hopes of getting some loot, which didn't happen), getting the Pickpocket skill, then DD (went to DD8 to generate the Druid, but didn't fight him), Moldy Dungeon (to get the Tome of Donors), and finally the Caverns of Chaos.
I was extremely lucky to find a Surge of Power on D5, which turned out to be nothing less than the Bracers of War.
Then it was classical midgame stuff (herbs, Dwarftown, midgame locations). The Demented Ratling was fed : the Black Torc, the Potion of Litteracy, the Cornupia, the Ancient Mummy Wrapping (I had no use for it since I had the RCT and the Bracers of War), The Sword of Nonnak (same) and the Tome of Donors (I could have kept it, but I wanted to get crowned L+ asap). Gaab'Baay's quests went fast (I had found most of the needed stuff, and the second boar I encountered dropped a skull). Got crowned L+ at level 18, using the Borderland Settlement altar, and received Fire Immunity + Hammer of the Gods (which I never used). I already had Cold Immunity from the RCT, Acid Immunity from a lucky early Giant Slug, and Shock Immunity from blessing then eating numerous Lightning Lizards.
The Greater Vault in the FGJC was a one with 10 Great Red Wyrms. Needless to say, I didn't try to clear the center room at level 20.
Got a Ring of Djinni Summoning in the Rift, which I used to save Khelly. That's the only RoDS that I found during that playthrough.
While I was on my way to the CoC Great Vault, I found a tension room full of Balors. Since fighting 2 of them in a corridor wasn't particularly frightening, I could cast Slow Monster on myself and got quite a few levels.
Then, the guaranteed CoC Great Vault was one with Giants, which posed no threat by that stage. Got Far Slayer (the +18 +18 crossbow).
After that, I went back to the FGJC Great Vault, and blasted the Wyrms with Freezing Fury (the clerical version of Ice Ball) + Slow Monster cast on myself. Got quite a few levels there (something like from 42 to 49 iirc). The loot was underwhelming : Tome of Alsophocus, Staff of Wonder, bleh ! However, this removed the need to farm experience to reach level 45, which was nice.
Finished Rolf quest at that point. Received the Gleaming Shield just in time to use it (along with one phase dagger) against the Emperor Moloch. Considering how sturdy and fast my character was, it was only a matter of hit and run tactics (and escaping the level asap once I got the Crumpled Scroll).
Then the Blue Dragon Caves (got very lucky there with a Wand of Wishing (3 charges) + Helm of the Night Watchman + Staff of Purification), and finally the Merchants Guild. Found the Shirt of the Saints + Stone of Ages (not bad) + 11M gold (that turned into +3 Wp with the help of Garth).
After that, I killed Keriax (I'm not even sure he saw me), wasted some time raising attributes to the 60s (by dipping various stacks of 9x2s potions in blessed potions of Exchange), read a few spellbooks (just in case, really) and finally went for the deep dive.
I had some fun clearing the Chaos Plane using almost exclusively Wp 99 Rain of Sorrow (Acid Ball). Then drank all boosting potions, equiped the trinity and entered the portal.
Andor Drakon was killed using the RCT as a missile weapon. It took 37 shots (of which 17 missed) to kill him, and during that time he really didn't do much : One summoning spell (one zap from a wand of fireballs and the summons were gone), one darkness spell (no effect, since I was wearing the Helm of the Night Watchman), one attack spell, and one step towards me. Oh, and I forgot : he also did a great introductory speech ! Having drunk 12 blessed potions of Boost Speed before steping into the portal is certainly the decisive factor that turned a potentially hard fight into a very easy one.
Some random thoughts :
- The Farsight spell is awesome : it vastly boosts your vision range. Probably a quite rare spellbook, since I only found one.
- For some reason, that character only scored 10M points, while I had a character that did a Normal Ending score 12M points recently. I was quite surprised : I would have thought that an Ultra Ending would have beaten any Normal Ending.
- Provided you buy all potions from the Borderland Settlement whenever you have a chance, you should end up with enough potions of Exchange and enough stacks of useless 2s potions to do some serious potion dipping. Even better if you have the Potion Belt (which I didn't have) or at the very least Moon Sickle (to turn any useless 4s potion into another useless, but lighter, potion). Sadly, I had sacrificed Moon Sickle, so I had to make do with what I had. Nonetheless, I could get quite a few POGAs that way.
- I still had a few items destroyed in the Blue Dragon Caves, although I had 3 immunities (Lightning Lizard + TotRR + Blue Dragon Scale Mail) and 2 resistances (Ring of the High Kings, Gauntlets of Elemental Mastery). Still, if you leave any precious stuff before entering, the item destruction is very manageable.
- Talking about item destruction : only the half of the level where the Air Temple is located seems to be "dangerous" when it comes to item destruction. The other half seems to be completely safe, at least I never had a single item destroyed there.
- The bonuses from eating some Chaos corpses are nice, but nothing compared to what you can get from potion dipping.
I'm going to stop there. Big thanks to all who answered my questions during the past few weeks, and feel free to ask back if you have any question :)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Screenshot ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ DaPa/50 L+ DV/PV: 90/72 H: 1327/1327 P: 1580/1702 ----b---------B-%0ChAoS . .. ...# ..#. .....# .##.# ...##.# #..C.# ..=..#.#.##..# .=.##.....#...# ##...#..#....# #....#..[$..## #......@.....# ...=...#.......# #.... ##....(]# .=## .#.=.#.# # ## #### # themselves! The corrupting energies are turned into benevolent rays of cleaning nature and free your spirit and your body from all corruption! Then you are suddenly pulled back into your reality! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Background Information ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Name: Star Race: female Dark Elf Class: Paladin Eye color: black Hair color: white Complexion: black Height: 5'3" Weight: 99 pounds Age: 138 (adult) Star sign: Raven Birthday: 2/Raven (day 2 of the year) YOUR HISTORY: Your parents were poor people. They loved you and cared for you, although you had to hunger more than once. In your childhood you were a credit to your family. Your people loved you and enjoyed your presence. During your youth you embarked on many small journeys to nearby towns on behalf of your parents. You learned to know lots of people and made many friends. Your life as a young adult was characterized by steady determination. Your goal lay clearly ahead of you and you never strayed from your path. You decided to become a Paladin. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Inventory ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Total weight: 19495 stones Carrying capacity: 124575 stones He: uncursed helm of the Night Watchman [+0, +8] {Pe+4} [100s] Ne: blessed rustproof amulet of life saving [3s] Bo: blessed Shirt of the Saints [+8, +4] {Le+2} [20s] Gi: blessed eternium girdle [+4, +4] [12s] Cl: blessed cloak of protection [+2, +3] [20s] RH: blessed Trident of the Red Rooster (+36, 6d12+18) [+12, +12] {Ma+24} LH: - RR: blessed ring of the High Kings [+2, +3] [1s] LR: uncursed ring of mental stability [+0, +1] {Le+1} [1s] Br: uncursed bracers of war [+8, +4] {Dx+8} [10s] Ga: blessed elemental gauntlets (-1, +0) [+0, +3] [10s] Bo: blessed seven league boots [+6, +7] [30s] MW: - Mi: - Tl: - ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Stuff ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Total weight: 19138 stones Carrying capacity: 124575 stones Helmets ('[') uncursed circlet of the pure mind [+2, +2] {Wi+8} [18s] Shields ('[') uncursed small black shield "Lust for Glory" (+1) [+5, +5] {Wi+3} [50s] Gauntlets ('[') uncursed thick gauntlets (-1, -2) [+0, +1] [15s] blessed thick gauntlets (-2, -1) [+0, +1] [15s] Cloaks ('[') uncursed cloak of protection [+0, +3] [20s] uncursed tattered cloak of the dark souls [+6, +3] {Wi-3} [23s] Girdles ('[') uncursed adamantium girdle [+0, +3] [18s] Boots ('[') uncursed eternium boots [+1, +8] [55s] Necklaces (''') blessed ankh [3s] blessed amulet of free action [3s] blessed necklace of the eye [3s] blessed amulet of petrification resistance [3s] uncursed stone of the ages {Le+6} [2s] uncursed necklace of the eye [3s] One-handed weapons ('(') uncursed unpick axe (+3, 3d6+3) {To+10} [75s] uncursed orcish knife (+1, 1d3+2) [10s] Two-handed weapons ('(') blessed staff of nourishment (+0, 1d10) [40s] blessed staff of parting water (+0, 1d10) [40s] blessed staff of purification (+0, 1d10) [40s] blessed staff of sensing traps (+1, 1d10+2) [+1, +0] [39s] blessed staff of purification (+0, 1d10+1) [40s] blessed staff of mundane insights (+0, 1d10+1) [40s] blessed staff of nourishment (+2, 1d10) [40s] Missile weapons ('}') uncursed long bow of hunting (+6, +3) [30s] blessed heavy crossbow "The Far Slayer" (+18, +18) [350s] blessed long bow of hunting (+6, +3) [30s] uncursed long bow of hunting (+9, +3) [30s] Missiles ('/') Tons of them Tools (']') uncursed waterproof blanket [10s] blessed waterproof blanket [10s] uncursed square key [1s] uncursed tinderbox (23) [3s] uncursed holy symbol [5s] blessed small key [1s] blessed fireproof blanket [10s] heap of 2 uncursed torches [20s] heap of 2 blessed magical writing sets (3) [10s] uncursed triangular key [1s] heap of 2 blessed torches [20s] uncursed fireproof blanket [10s] uncursed tiny key [1s] blessed hexagonal key [1s] heap of 2 uncursed boxes with flint and steel (40) [10s] uncursed round key [1s] Rings ('=') uncursed ring of mental stability [+0, +1] {Le+1} [1s] blessed ring of invisibility [1s] Wands ('\') too many to fit here Potions ('!') Many Scrolls ('?') Many too Books ('"') Not enough space to display them all Food ('%') Alot Gems ('*') Quite a few ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Weapon Skills ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Melee weapon Lvl Hit Dam DV Level Required marks --------------------- --- --- --- -- ------------- -------------- Unarmed fighting 1 +1 +0 +0 basic 22 Daggers & knives 7 +6 +3 +1 skilled 46 Clubs & hammers 1 +1 +0 +0 basic 25 Maces & flails 1 +1 +0 +0 basic 25 Swords 10 +9 +6 +3 excellent 239 Axes 1 +1 +0 +0 basic 25 Whips 1 +1 +0 +1 basic 25 Pole arms 15 +20 +12 +22 Grand Mastery Twohanded weapons 1 +1 +1 +0 basic 25 Staves 2 +2 +0 +2 basic 40 Missile weapon Lvl Hit Dam Ra Level Required marks --------------------- --- --- --- -- ------------- -------------- Slings 3 +6 +4 +1 basic 15 Bows 10 +20 +15 +3 excellent 475 Crossbows 7 +14 +10 +2 skilled 45 Thrown axes & hammers 0 +0 +0 +0 unskilled 7 Thrown daggers 4 +8 +6 +1 skilled 19 Thrown rocks & clubs 0 +0 +0 +0 unskilled 7 Thrown spears 10 +20 +15 +3 excellent 253 Boomerangs & scurgari 0 +0 +0 +0 unskilled 7 Shields Lvl DV Level Required marks --------------------- --- --- ------------- -------------- Shields 5 +10 skilled 71 Damage caused with your melee weapons: -------------------------------------- Right hand: +287 bonus to hit, 6d12+125 damage Damage caused with your missile weapons: ---------------------------------------- No missile weapons available. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Skills ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Alchemy ..................100 (superb) [+1d3] Alertness ................100 (superb) [+1d5] Archery .................. 75 (great) [+2d4] Athletics ................100 (superb) [+2d4] Backstabbing .............100 (superb) [+1] Climbing .................100 (superb) [+1d5] Concentration ............100 (superb) [+4d4] Courage ..................100 (superb) [+3d4] Detect traps .............100 (superb) [+1d3] Disarm traps ............. 66 (good) [+3d4] Dodge ....................100 (superb) [+1d3] Find weakness ............100 (superb) [+1d3] First aid ................100 (superb) [+1d5] Fletchery ................ 56 (good) [+3d3] (mr) Food preservation ........ 77 (great) [+1d3] Gardening ................ 17 (mediocre) [+3d3] Haggling .................100 (superb) [+1d5] Healing ..................100 (superb) [+1d5] Herbalism ................100 (superb) [+1d5] Listening ................100 (superb) [+2d4] Literacy .................100 (superb) [+1d3] Necromancy ............... 21 (mediocre) [+0] Pick pockets .............100 (superb) [+1] Stealth ..................100 (superb) [+1d5] Swimming .................100 (superb) [+1d3] Tactics ..................100 (superb) [+1d3] Two weapon combat ........ 77 (great) [+3d4] ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Spells ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Acid Bolt : 1069, 15pp (Effectivity: +1) Baptism of Fire : 1617, 7pp (Effectivity: +6) Bless : 309, 8pp (Effectivity: +0) Calm Monster : 1871, 7pp (Effectivity: +7) Clairvoyance : 1214, 40pp (Effectivity: +1) Cure Disease : 9, 15pp (Effectivity: +0) Cure Light Wounds : 321, 5pp (Effectivity: +0) Cure Serious Wounds: 1010, 10pp (Effectivity: +0) Darkness : 1046, 4pp (Effectivity: +0) Divine Digger : 997, 100pp (Effectivity: +0) Divine Intervention: 72, 3840pp (Effectivity: +0) Divine Wrath : 1290, 12pp (Effectivity: +2) Enlightenment : 937, 75pp (Effectivity: +0) Ethereal Bridge : 1316, 92pp (Effectivity: +10) Farsight : 1242, 17pp (Effectivity: +4) Freezing Fury : 1181, 24pp (Effectivity: +5) Heavenly Fury : 1735, 30pp (Effectivity: +4) Hellish Flames : 1257, 10pp (Effectivity: +0) Holy Awe : 8, 23pp (Effectivity: +0) Invoked Devastation: 1256, 30pp (Effectivity: +0) Lesser Divine Touch: 1666, 8pp (Effectivity: +0) Light : 2147, 2pp (Effectivity: +6) Lordly Might : 1674, 9pp (Effectivity: +7) Major Punishment : 1725, 20pp (Effectivity: +0) Minor Punishment : 2167, 8pp (Effectivity: +3) Nether Bolt : 1930, 12pp (Effectivity: +1) Neutralize Poison : 11, 18pp (Effectivity: +0) Rain of Sorrow : 1171, 34pp (Effectivity: +6) Revelation : 826, 33pp (Effectivity: +2) Slow Monster : 3379, 6pp (Effectivity: +5) Slow Poison : 274, 6pp (Effectivity: +0) Web : 1356, 12pp (Effectivity: +0) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Her further life: ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- After slaying Andor Drakon and dispersing his malevolent energies the pillars of Order appear before you. All the forces of Order seem to be united behind them. You are lifted to the status of an Avatar of Order and the tales of your deeds are spread all over Ancardia. Your deeds are recounted at camp fires and interpreted by philosophers and priests alike. The common man looks up to you and you slowly start to be revered as a minor power of Order. After a few millennia have passed you are raised to the position of a demigod to guard and protect Ancardia from the forces of Chaos and Balance forever. Under your guidance Ancardia becomes an orderly and organized world without striking changes. Peaceful order (and boredom?) spreads and the world enters an era of peace and tranquility never again leaving it. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Her achievements during her battles: ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Star, the dark elven paladin, transformed into an avatar of Order. She scored 10700656 points and advanced to level 50. She survived for 0 years, 94 days, 18 hours, 32 minutes and 35 seconds (209275 turns). 10 companions were killed during her adventures. Star visited 225 places. Her strength score was modified by +49 during her career. Her learning score was modified by +71 during her career. Her willpower score was modified by +49 during her career. Her dexterity score was modified by +55 during her career. Her toughness score was modified by +57 during her career. Her charisma score was modified by +60 during her career. Her appearance score was modified by +57 during her career. Her mana score was modified by +56 during her career. Her perception score was modified by +35 during her career. She was the champion of the arena. She was a member of the thieves guild. She killed the emperor of the ancient minotaur race. She defeated the arch enemy of a mighty karmic wyrm. She saved Khelavaster from certain death. She met Rolf, the legendary emperor of the dwarves. She avenged Rolf's blood. She ended her adventuring life in the palace of Andor Drakon. 15220 monsters perished under her attacks. The following 60 artifacts were generated during her adventure: the si the dwarven rune axe "Rolf's Companion" the scythe of corruption "Moon Sickle" the potion of literacy the golden gladius "Death's Sting" the dwarven shield "Rolf's Saviour" the Chaos Orb of Elemental Water the Chaos Orb of Elemental Air the Chaos Orb of Elemental Fire the Chaos Orb of Elemental Earth the heavy crossbow "The Far Slayer" the ebony spear "Bugbiter" the scorched spear the girdle of the emperors "Celestrix" the rune-covered trident the sword of Nonnak the elemental gauntlets the ring of the High Kings the crown of science the ancient mummy wrapping the ankh the hammer of the gods the small black shield "Lust for Glory" the Crown of Chaos the black torc the Medal of Chaos the Shirt of the Saints the bracers of war the Chaos Orb of Elemental Mana the black rune-covered dagger "Needle" the rune-covered sling "Whirlwind" the sapphire amulet "Preserver" the black tome of Alsophocus the Trident of the Red Rooster the weird tome the rune-covered halberd "Wyrmlance" the axe of the minotaur emperor the tome of donors the antediluvian dwarven map fragment the antediluvian dwarven map the ancient dwarven key the unpick axe the stone heart "Bergbringer" the gleaming dwarven rune axe the gleaming dwarven shield the twisted quarterstaff "Kalmius' Shield" the helm of the Night Watchman the lead great axe the staff of wonder the mighty tower shield "The Wall" the glowing gem "Third Eye" the circlet of the pure mind the beheading axe "Headman's Hand" the intricate wooden staff "Nature's Breath" the black whip of extinction the glistening scimitar "Eagle's Claw" the tattered cloak of the dark souls the cornucopia the stone of the ages the weird fire starter She possessed the following intrinsics: She was fire resistant (also through items). She was poison resistant (also through an item). She was cold resistant (also through items). She was lucky (also through an item). Fate smiled upon her. She was sleep resistant (gained through items). She was able to control teleportation. She was stun resistant (also through items). She was paralyzation resistant. She was resistant to death rays (gained through items). She was shock resistant (also through items). She was able to see invisible things (gained through items). She was immune to shock attacks. She was immune to fire attacks. She was immune to acidic attacks. She was immune to ice attacks (gained through an item). She was able to breathe water (gained through an item). She was able to resist confusion attacks (also through items). She had the following talents: Affinity with Axes, Affinity with Polearms, Affinity with Swords, Alert, Careful, Defensive Fighter, Dodger, Good Shot, Greased Lightning, Keen Shot, Long Stride, Melee Weapon Master, Miser, Quick, Quick Shot, Strong of Will, Treasure Hunter, Very Careful, Very Quick. She had a final speed score of 490 (final base speed: 180). She was a messiah of Elderon. She asked for 1 divine intervention. She was a holy champion of Order. The following monsters were vanquished: Dispatched the legendary will o'wisp Aksarnerk. Dispatched the legendary tarantula Shiksazzar. Dispatched the legendary berserker lord Arngrim. Dispatched the legendary necromancer Gorvin. Dispatched the legendary goblin Groof. Dispatched the legendary orc scorcher Arik. Dispatched the legendary dark orc Enryb-eel. Dispatched the legendary ratling thief White-Mask. Dispatched the legendary dark elven priestess Althenia. Dispatched the legendary eye of destruction Sheelak The All-Seeing. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Playing Time ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- You played for 96 hours, 23 minutes and 21 seconds. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Version Information ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ancient Domains Of Mystery Version 3.3.4 Windows Deluxe (Steam) Build: Nov 12 2020 10:42:23 

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I never met my birth parents. They both died on a job when I was a baby, and I went into foster care. I didn’t have any interest in knowing anything about them; my adoptive parents are the ones who raised me.
However, everything changed a week ago when a group of men came knocking at my door. They wore what looked like military uniforms, but instead of the usual green, they wore a distinct red color instead. They loaded me, along with my foster parents into an unmarked matching red van. We were rushed to a farmhouse on the opposite side of Washington where the facility was heavily guarded with intimidating men and unfamiliar machines that appeared like they required several men to operate.
Being an IT major, I had no knowledge nor interest in these things. I’m not a runner, fighter or a strategist, so I couldn’t fathom what they wanted from me.
They relentlessly interrogated me for three days, bombarding me with questions and then, when they concluded that I was blissfully unaware, intimidated me with frightening information. Dumbfounded, I soaked in every ounce of knowledge they offered me. The new knowledge I gained made me see my parents in a new terrifying light. I couldn’t help but feel more resentment, adding on to the existing resentment I harboured. My parents not only betrayed themselves, but me as well and part of me feared that I would never be safe again. I couldn’t help but feel manipulated. They were long gone, but their past still controlled my fate.
I was eventually uprooted to a secondary protective facility, one in which I was not permitted to know the location of. For my own safety, they assured me. Once settled, they supplied me with new electronics and destroyed my old ones. They warned me that I was to stay under the radar, completely untraceable. Again, for my own protection. I was confident that given my knowledge of IT, software engineering and cyber security, I would remain unseen and untraceable to anyone who might be hunting me.
Now that I am sure I am safe, I can finally write this message and warn anyone connected to the initial bloodlines involved. It is crucial for my message to reach you.
The story begins with my biological grandfather. He worked for a branch of the government closely related to NASA. Following the moon landing there was a great deal of classified developments that the population was oblivious to. The department my grandfather worked for protecting the world against extra-terrestrial threats or extra-terrestrial terrorism as they described it.
Paranoia gripped them after the moon landing and they took drastic measures to prepare. Five years later, they deciphered the first communications and signals from frequencies previously unknown to them. These signals were so powerful that they destroyed entire systems, disrupted the power grid and took down entire radio stations. This special branch of government discovered they could tap into these signals which revealed that our galaxy has been under constant surveillance. This was ironically discovered by extra-terrestrials working within this branch, tasked to monitor and prevent extra-terrestrial terrorism on a much larger scale.
At this point in their story, the soldiers were reluctant to divulge more. Insisting that they already revealed too much. But I demanded full transparency, refusing to cooperate with their equivocation. It was essential that I know my involvement in these matters. So, they continued, placing a huge box in front of me, overflowing with papers. They swiftly unveiled its contents to me, Stacks of documents and old tapes they tossed onto the table, one after the another.
The documents contained, amongst others, details of weapons the organisation, known as ESA were crafting and testing along with formulas to create immensely powerful weapons. They used advanced calculations to try and manufacture better equipment that could be sent up to space. They were doing this undisclosed, to monitor and learn as much as they could.
The ESA spent millions designing and building a spacecraft to contain their equipment, if the situation ever called for it. It is still a work in progress. All of this is actively happening, the documents and footage stamped up until a week ago.
I opened a document with a list of classified individuals who had this information. Presidents, EU members, a handful of the rich and powerful, who used this information to design and construct underground bunkers, granting that, if anything were to ever happen, they’d be prepared. These aren’t a new concept though, the extremely rich and powerful have been known to publicly sponsor new technological advancements. Well some may think this gave them the upper hand, it eventually proved their foolishness.
The following is what I saw in the most crucial videos:
Video 1: dated 1975 The video opens in an empty cell, appearing to be a reinforced holding chamber. At first, the room is dark, then the spotlights switch on, illuminating the centre of the room. Now in the light, I could clearly make out what looked like a reinforced metal wall with chains protruding from it. The focus shifts to the back of the room where a large door opens and something is dragged in a sheet, concealing its identity, and tied down with thick chains. The video ends.
Video 2: June 1975 I saw about 20 armed men entered the room and start to unwrap the sheet from what they hauled in. After several minutes of unwrapping, the identity of the thing they brought in is revealed.
There seemed to be a glitch in the recording, at different points in the video the screen was covered in static. The sound was muted, and the figure was hard to make out. It appeared that the creature was attempting to change shape, vibrating as if to phase into a different shape. Despite its best attempts, it remained unsuccessful and reverted back to its original form. .
Video 3: the very next day wnd June 1975
The video opens with the creature fully in focus. Within the 18 hours of footage, the creature is constantly seen attempting to change form. It fails every time, but that doesn’t prevent it from trying again. It looks like a blur, occasionally a second head or what appears to be a human hand. It’s apparent the creature has shapeshifting abilities.
The next 200 videos are identical. To the naked eye, it seemed like a loop. But it wasn’t. The creature was, however, relentless in its attempt to free itself or escape.
Video 204: October 1975
This time the alien appeared to be asleep, head limp and no movement. This video had sound, but it was accompanied by a high pitch buzz that made my ears hurt. At the six-hour mark, the faint cry of a baby can be heard before gradually escalating into full-blown screaming.
At first I suspected that one of the scientists had brought their child along, but the agents assured me the crying was coming from the creature. As the video progresses, the cries grow louder and more demanding, eventually accompanied by a deep voice. Close to the end of the video, 22 hours in, multiple voices begin to scream simultaneously, causing everything to shake.
The documents show that, after this incident, the cage was reinforced. The next few videos are static, proving that the creature has the uncanny ability to manipulate video and disrupt frequencies.
Video 340 February 1982
The creature, with its brown discoloration, possessed crocodile like scales and an eagle like head, but it was entirely reptilian in nature. It stood at a whopping 12 feet tall and was covered in an unknown slime like substance.
The chains were substantially thicker than they were years earlier, and the cage has been fortified. It looked like a different room altogether.
The agents explained that the creature got loose and attacked 12 soldiers, absorbing them into itself instead of merely killing or eating them.
The creature was taken to Nevada, close to the desert, where a strong armoured underground structure had been constructed, far from civilization. The facility has been equipped with high level security precautions which allowed sections of the building to be sealed off and rigged to explode, guaranteeing that, if necessary, the building would collapse in on itself, trapping the creature within its cage, underneath the rubble.
The creature mirrored the image I conjured up in my head when I pictured the devil; brown, scaly, a demonic voice. The eyes were its most terrifying feature, shaped like that of a reptilian, but blood red. I counted 4 horns on its head, and it bore a pair of nasty fangs. Its feet bore the resemblance of a dinosaur, but it lacked a tale. Once the creature was no longer phasing in and out, it settled on a more consistent appearance, one that was easier to recognize.
Video 341 February 1982
This video marked the first appearance of my grandfather. He entered, along with four other men in lab coats, carrying a large syringe, approximately the size of my arm. He stuck it into the beast’s heart, causing it to instantly fall into a deep sleep. He proceeded to connect various machines onto the slumbering creature, attaching electrodes to its head and chest which were linked to a sizeable computer or something that resembled a computer. The video cuts off after this, leaving us to guess what occurred next.
Video 343 February 1982 The lights in the room were far brighter than before, and it once again lacked the presence of sound. The reason for this remained unknown.
Within the room stood a table filled with an assortment of equipment that appeared to be severely damaged. The lights flickered at intervals, and the creature began to phase in and out once more. This made it difficult to distinguish its appearance amid the static moments and blurred movements. The scientists observed the creature a safe distance away.
The scientists were relying on a certain frequency they discovered to keep the creature at bay. It seemed to produce positive results for the next few videos.
The videos that followed held a similar pattern. The creature remained silent, wired to machines while people came in and out taking notes or the occasional blood or slime sample. The creature remained composed, not once attempting to shift or escape again.
According to the agents’ records, everything proceeded as planned. My grandfather welcomed his first son, my father in 1975, he subsequently resumed his project until his resignation in 2008 when he was 55. A year later, he had a fatal heart attack, my grandmother following soot. My father was 34.
My father and his younger brother began working for ESA in 2004, when they were 28 and 24. New technological advancements introduced better cameras and electronic equipment for testing purposes. Since the technology became so advanced, their visits to the cage became as infrequent as once a week, or even less often. With new needles, enhanced equipment and upgraded data collection, the project transferred to electronic records ushering changes in the filing system.
While we waited for my transportation, they shared more classified documents. According to the notes, the once wild and violent creature was now unrecognisably tame and responsive, even answering questions. It remained unclear whether they had intentionally provoked it or stumbled upon a means to subdue it.
The circumstances surrounding my birth were strange. My dad impregnated a college classmate, and they made the mutual decision to put me up for adoption since neither of them had the desire to raise a child. My mother was studying biology and my father, a young genius physicist that found it hard to understand basic human interaction as it was. According to my foster parents, I was born in 2000, but the data I was presented proved I was born two years prior. This revelation had a more profound effect on me than anything else I’d seen.
Regardless, I was immediately given up for adoption and my existence was all but forgotten about. My adoptive parents moved to Iowa, and that’s where I lived up until 2018 when I left for Harvard. I always wondered what my birth parents were like. My adoptive parents told me I was a genius and speculated that I inherited my brain from somewhere. It’s an uncanny feeling; the knowledge that every aspect of my life was monitored.
The videos documenting the creature continued for the next 6 years. It became routine, apart from the indistinct chatter from the observing scientists and other government employees. There were no other sounds, incidents or noteworthy occurrences.
The tests revealed that the creature’s biology was predominantly alien, with no genetic material in common with humans. The scientists highlighted the alarming fact that the creature’s DNA was ever changing, resulting in frequent sample collection and analysis.
They concluded that, the creature was still a baby at the time of capture, which made it easier to contain. They did, however, underestimate its shocking growth rate which resulted in the deaths of the 12 soldiers’ years prior. At the time, it was still in its adolescent phase. Further research uncovered that the creature had the unique ability to absorb the genetic material of the men it came into contact with. The more humans it absorbed, the more diverse its gene pool became. A portion of the genes obtained gradually became more similar to those observed in humans. It’s as if the creature dove into an immense pool of genes and, as it absorbed more humans, its genetic makeup gradually began to adopt more human like qualities. Although difficult to comprehend at first, the basic explanation is that with every absorption of genetic information, the creature’s genetic composition seemed to evolve, storing human qualities within its own gene and gradually becoming more human-like That is my understanding of it.
Which brings me to the final video they have. Prepare yourselves.
Video: mov5078436b The creature behaved normally before viewing was disrupted by static. Among the sudden legion of voices, it echoed my father’s name, simultaneously expanding in size which causes the surroundings to convulse. Alarms resounded, piercing the silence as the creature tugged at its chains, cracking the floor ceiling in its attempt to break free. An ear splitting roar escaped its mouth as hordes of armoured soldiers rushed the cage, massive tasers in hand. They zapped the creature at maximum voltage as it continued to roar, lights flickering excessively. The camera feed is interrupted again by bouts of static.
A second group arrived, armed heavily with guns, increasing the crowd to a total of 30. The gunfire was so severe that it affected the video’s audio. One of the chains bound to the roof of the cage had already broken loose by the time the third group of soldiers arrived. This group carried a machine emitting bursts of fire, which had no effect on the creature aside from antagonizing it. It releases a powerful blast from its hand, causing the room to tremble which shattered the bulletproof glass into millions of pieces and sent the men flying across the room. Both of the creature’s hands were now free, and it began to morph.
Finally, a fourth group arrived in heavily armoured suits, unlike anything I’ve ever seen before. They wielded lasers and what appeared to be a concentrated lightning gun. I was grateful they hadn’t made use of nuclear weapons which would have wiped everyone out. After every attempt, the creature remained standing. Now it was his turn.
The creature freed itself from the remaining shackles and unleashed a blast with both its hands. All that was left of the solders was a gruesome mess of blood where they stood. The air filled with a haunting scream that echoed throughout the halls. The creature released a menacing growl in the form of words that sent chills down my spine, “Dennis McCarthy”, my father’s name.
Right before the camera blacked out, I could have sworn he was in the brink of morphing into a human form, but the recording was cut short by the thunderous detonation of explosions that sent the building into destruction, burying the truth within its rubble.
The scientists, including my dad, were taken by the ESA (extra-terrestrial security agency) and hidden in a heavily guarded underground haven. They were issued new identities and relocated, which isn’t a new concept for the government.
As far as the drones’ visual feed could capture, the entire operation was terminated, leaving behind the collapsed and buried ruins of a facility that was once fully functional. It was under strict surveillance for any signs of life, but as the years rolled by, complacency set in, compromising their once strict security measures.
My father, uncle and the rest of the scientists assumed new lives and identities. As far as the rest of the world was concerned, they were dead.
In 2010, an unexpected interruption occurred. Reports indicated that the drones simultaneously malfunctioned, and the video feed erupted into static. A team arrived at the site to find it disrupted, all the drones lay in scattered heaps across the landscape.
Before anyone could investigate or react, all communication with the agents safeguarding the scientists was abruptly terminated. One be one, the connections were severed, leaving them permanently unreachable. When they reached my father’s safe house, they were greeted with his spine-chilling absence. He had vanished without so much as a trace that he had ever been there to begin with—no signs of struggle or any shred of evidence left behind. He was lost in an infinite void of mystery. The only indication that something was amiss was the eerie blue glow invading the monitors moments before blackout. The only accurate word for it would be ‘suction’, leading the team to believe that they had been absorbed. It remained a speculation, though plausible enough to send waves of panic up their spines.
As we speak governments around the world have been swept up into the desperate search to locate the alien as well as training an elite group of drone pilots and soldiers in an attempt to confront and defeat the elusive entity. Furthermore, every effort at locating surviving relatives of the missing scientists, including my father, had fallen short. They too had vanished into an infinite cloud of mystery, not one left unscathed to provide answers.
Considering the site’s altered state, the complete destruction of the drones and the fact that the creature they had held captive was constantly evolving, they were profoundly aware of the unravelling truth.
I am the sole living descendent of the scientists that worked for ESA. The creature has made it his mission to eliminate any and all traces of their existence. This is the sole reason I was upended from my life and relocated to a heavily guarded facility, and this is the reason I feel compelled to share their stories.
I couldn’t comprehend why the creature would hunt me since I didn’t share the sins of my father, but I felt paranoid and vigilant regardless. I couldn’t help but feel compelled to look into the disappearances myself, perhaps due to some lingering hopes that the information was wrong. My pursuit for answers turned up nothing, not even social media accounts. It was as if any trace of their existence was utterly obliterated, there was no digital footprint left.
The reason I am now convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that my life is in danger is because I have started catching glimpses of subtle movements in my peripheral, a shadowy figure lurking around the premises, disruptions in the signal of my appliances, even the phone I am using right now.
Call me foolish for even relying on the very technology that might lead to my demise, but I felt compelled to warn anyone else who might be a descendent of the team that worked for ESA: project corrosion.
If you’re aware then heed my words and flee. If you are unaware, observe the news for any sudden or unexplained disappearances, and I regret to inform you but, if you come across the creature then it’s too late.
Stay safe my friends

(a couple people wanted to know how my succession game went. Good news, I got many great players. Bad news, they never got to play. Real fortress stuff begins at the 15th of Granite, everything before that is just backstory.)
Diary of A_Demon Ducimlelum and records of Drilledsacks.
9th of Granite. Year 50.
I have come to discover that drinking at the same tavern as our nation’s rulers wasn’t the wise idea I thought it was. I thought it would be an easy way to rub shoulders with potential investors while getting some drinks in my gut. Oh if I had only known what it would lead me to.
So there I was, tossing back plump helmet wine as if Zolak was coming for my soul and I, in my drunken wisdom, decided to rant about the Murky Volcano.
You see, in my efforts to become a better trader I decided to take a beginners course on gem cutting. My thought was I could buy rough gems, cut them myself and sell the cut gems for a huge profit. Anyways the teacher told us about how diamonds are formed deep underground and pushed closer to the surface by volcanic pressure so while I was in the tavern I ranted to anyone who would listen.
“Why are we digging for gems when the Murky Volcano is willing to do it for free! All those gems must just be sitting there like mushrooms in the dirt! Whoever's in charge around here has no idea what they’re doing!”
Then I fall off my bar stool and who do I see staring down at me? That’s right, it's Mafol Letmosmuzish himself! The king graciously helps me to my feet and says. “That’s very interesting. Perhaps an aspiring young merchant should build a fortress there since digging into a volcano is so easy.”
I would have said something like “I was just joking!” or “Please your, highness I don’t want to die!”, but I puked up my wine before I could say anything.
“Thank you for volunteering Miss Ducimlelum. I’ll send you the paperwork in the morning.” He said with a shit eating grin and walked right out the door. I feel like The Bloated just took a crap on my life.
10th of granite. Year 50.
I put out some help wanted fliers in the morning and I was surprised to have a full team by the afternoon. Of course it’s just my luck they’re all shallow dwelling sky gazers! The first dwarf who came in for an interview was eating a salad like some kind of elf. Her name is Cukes and apparently she’s a skilled miner. I’ll believe that when I see it.
The second dwarf to sign up was Dr Dave. “What’s your doctorate in?” I asked her. She never gave me a straight answer, but she’s a brewer, a planter and she can cut down trees with enough skill to make an elf cry, which is to say any skill at all.
Third was a dwarf named Clown Commune. I don’t want to know what she did to get a nickname like that. She’s a skilled engraver and I’ve seen some of her work around the mountain, at least that’s what I’ve been told.
The forth dwarf comes in with a crossbow in one hand and a wild boar carcass slung over his shoulder. He throws the damn thing down on the table and says these are the skills he brings to the team. Welcome aboard Salty.
Dwarf number five comes in with a beard so long it’s almost touching the floor. Thank the gods he keeps it neatly combed. He tells me his name is Cthulhu. He’s competent in three different crafting arts and he’s learning to smith weapons. Apparently a magma forge is just what he needs.
The final dwarf was impatient but I could hardly blame her after sitting in the waiting room for so long. Luckily she brought along a book to read. I wonder what a scholar is hoping to find in a volcano, but apparently she also has some medical dwarf training so that’s reason enough to bring her with us. That and the seven dwarf minimum for expeditions. Welcome to the team River Of Arrows.
11th of Granite. Year 50.
This was the day I took my life savings and spent them all on fucking fortress suplies. I got the essentials like food, seeds and an anvil. With the leftover money I bought some animals for the fortress.
They didn’t have any tasty chinchillas so I got chickens instead. They’ll be good for food and their leather is one of my favourites. I dearly wanted some water buffaloes, I like them for their wallowing, but there wouldn’t be much water at the Murky Volcano so I made the hard decision to only get one water buffalo for myself and two camels to pull the wagon. The camels were on sale.
12th of Granite. Year 50.
When I got to the wagon depot one of my new travelling companions shouted, “Hey, it’s A_Demon!”
Instantly there was a mass panic in the depot. “It’s pronounced Ay-deo-mun!” I shouted over the crowd. Then I saw the fortress guard coming down the stairs. Were they coming to fight the alleged demon? Calm down the riot? Throw us in jail for starting a riot? We didn’t stick around to find out. Everyone on the wagon, we’re getting the hell out of Hailflags!
13th of Granite. Year 50.
We’re now in the monstrous hills. I asked over and over again if there was another way, but the only other path would take us all around the Embraced Cresta, which is basically a trek across the entire Continent Of Kin.
Gods above, this place gives me the creeps. It’s chilling to think that the dwarven tower of Grouppaddle is out there somewhere.
The worst part about traveling through the Monstrous Hills is the zombies. They’re not fast enough to catch up with our wagon, but they’re damn creepy. Salty had half a mind to practise his archery on the horrors as we passed, but he decided to save his ammo.
To pass the time and keep my mind off the horrors outside I’ve been counting inventory. Why do we have thirdy shoes? The merchant told me this was standard embark supplies but why would we need thirdy shoes? Whatever.
In addition to the animals I bought, River Of Arrows brought her cat. I told her feeding it was her responsibility, but she promised the cat could feed itself by hunting rats. I’ll begrudgingly admit her cat might be useful.
I think Clown Commune may have been the one who brought the breeding pair of untrained dogs. Apparently getting untrained dogs was a cost saving measure, it’s cheaper if we train the dogs ourselves. A dwarf after my own heart. Maybe these dwarves aren’t so bad after all.
14th of Granite. Year 50.
I took a break from driving the wagon last night and let Dr Dave take the rains until morning. It was still dark out when I woke up to the sound of whistling in the style of The Beige Embrace. “Dr Dave, you know The Beige Embrace musical form?”
“Yeah, one of the two musical forms I know. The other is The Saffron Lutes.”
“Really, what’s that one sound like?”
“A little something like this.” She then performed a piece for us. After the first couple verses the wagon joined in. None of us knew the first thing about singing but we were having fun. At that moment everything felt like it was going to be ok. That should have tipped me off that something was about to go wrong.
The wagon suddenly lurched. We stepped outside and saw the damn thing was stuck in the mud. A minor annoyance to dwarves not trapped in a zombie filled waste land, if only we could be so lucky. The shambling corpses drew in.
Salty shot a few bolts in them to little effect. Me and Clown Commune tried to push the wagon. Somehow one of those undead beasts snuck up on me but River Of Arrows bashed it in the face with her book sending brain splattered pages everywhere. “Damn, I guess I’ll never find out how it ends.” She dropped the broken book and helped me push.
Salty ran out of bolts so he beat the nearest zombie to death with his crossbow. Dr Dave, Cukes and Cuthulhu picked up sticks and joined Salty in the melee.
While they fought off the undead the rest of us pushed the wagon out of the mud. The animals bolted. Me, Clown Commune and River Of Arrows jumped on. The rest chased after us. Salty had to leave his crossbow behind since it was stuck in a zombie’s chest.
I reached out my hand and pulled Cthulhu onto the wagon. Clown Commune helped Dr Dave. River Of Arrows got Cukes and Salty was able to pull himself up. We just laid there for a while, trying to catch our breaths. I think I fainted after that.
15th of Granite. Year 50.
That morning must have been the worst awakening I’ve had since the drinking contest in Bodystockade. It felt pleasantly warm at first then I opened my eyes. Zolak’s fucking eye, I was half a foot away from a lake of lava! I jumped up screaming. If I had rolled over in my sleep I’d have been burned alive!
Welcome to the fucking Murky Valcano! The animals must have pulled us up here while we were passed out. Thank any god you please that the wagon wheel broke off before we went over the ledge.
My first order as expedition leader, let’s move over there.
16th of Granite. Year 50.
Once the initial shock and horror wore off we couldn’t help but laugh at our situation. I guess it’s just gallows humour. As we unloaded our supplies I realised that I’ve come to consider these dwarves my friends. When I first met these bearded bastards I never thought I’d end up saying that. It’s funny what a near death experience or two can do.
Here’s to us. There’s no other dwarves I’d rather be stranded on a volcano with. A new chapter of dwarven history begins here, at this place, Monangfath, “Drilledsacks”. Strike the earth!
Seriously we need to dig a burrow, I’ve heard there’s leopards around here and they might be hungry.
1st of Slate. Year 50.
We’re making a wooden crossbow and some bolts to replace the crossbow that was lost in the Monstrous Hills. Hopefully Salty can hunt some of those kangaroos for us to eat. The wooden bolts aren’t very effective but they’re all we got right now.
28th of Slate. Year 50.
We’ve struck obsidian. This’ll be good for swords and traps involving swords. Metal is better of course but unfortunately we haven’t been able to find any. Also I have designated myself as the broker. I’ve been training to be a merchant for some time now, no reason to throw all the training away just because we’re stranded on a volcano.
Also we’re digging out some 4x4 rooms for ourselves. Might as well make something nice for ourselves.
24th of Hematite. Year 50.
Our first wave of migrants have arrived. They brought with them a steel axe and a breeding pair of turkeys. The birds are still poults but they’ll grow fast I’m sure. Now we’re up to 10 working dwarves and a child.
12th of Malachite. Year 50.
River Of Arrows has been feeling ecstatic lately but Salty is feeling a little bit down. I think it’s the stress of hunting. I’ll assign him some other duties and see if that helps.
6th of Galena.Year 50.
We’ve found some colourful rocks like microcline and quartzite. They’ll be good for decorating the place. Also there’s a cherry tree right at the peak of the volcano. It’s kind of pretty. That would be a great place to dump our garbage. Right off the edge and into the volcano.
17th of Galena. Year 50.
We have discovered an expansive cavern deep underground. I saw a gorlak down there. He seemed friendly but I sealed off the cavern just in case. I think I might build a tavern down there so adventurers can go straight from drinking to fighting monsters.
1st of Limestone. Year 50.
THE DEAD WALK HIDE WHILE YOU STILL CAN! It’s not even winter yet and we’re getting attacked by undead! I ordered everyone underground and built a quick wall to keep them out.
4th of Limestone. Year 50.
We couldn’t get the walls in time up but we managed to lock the doors. Hopefully that’s enough. While I was doing a headcount I found Kol Kekimzaneg the child was missing. He was last seen playing on the side of the hill, he must still be out there. His mom, Rigoth Zuglarunal, wants us to go out there and get him, but if I open those doors we’re all doomed.
Ganadalmosh, give me strength. I knew being an expedition leader would be hard but… fuck…
5th of Limestone. Year 50.
Day one of the siege. We have enough food and drink to last us a while, but the undead don’t need to eat… I’m sure they’ve killed most if not all of our livestock by now and we can only pray that Kol found a place to hide.
I’ve ordered some engravings to be made on the wall and designated this room as a tavern to keep up morale. It was originally intended to be our tavern until we could make a better one lower in the earth.
6th of Limestone. Year 50.
Clown Commune has made her first engraving. It’s a well-designed image of The Interpretation Of The Movement Of Animals, the white opal-bound codex by Zutthan Alathazin.
28th of Limestone. Year 50.
I decided to do some mining while we’re under siege. Might as well use this time to work on that grand tavern idea. I wonder if any adventurers are out there fighting the undead.
(interlude by Mothec Mukudon, the human archer) After three days of travel through The Foelds Of Silkiness and the beautiful elven Forest of Wires I have arrived at the Murky Valcano. What new wonders await me in the Drilledsacks? What marvels of craftsmanship have the dwarfs created in this majestic volcano? Could it perhaps be… Sweet fucking fields! What the hell is that! Oh god it took my ear off! What the fuck!
Mothec Mukudon was struck down by Acikolis, the hammer-dwarf corpse.
3rd of Timber. Year 50.
Those chicken eggs should be hatching by now. Imagine the sweet fluffy little birds coming out of their shells for the first time, peeping for the mamma only to be met by the hammer of an undead horror with a burning hatred for all life.
26th of Timber. Year 50.
I’ve opened up the cavern so we can start a small mushroom farm. We’ll stay down here until the zombies turn to dust if we have to, but damn, the rats down here are big.
10th of Moonstone. Year 50.
These hairy naked human looking things came into the new tavern mid construction and just started hanging around. Apparently they’re called troglodytes. One of them killed our female war dog.
That’s it, get the swords ready for a trog hunt.
22nd Opal. Year 50.
Ever since the troglodyte incident we’ve been preparing for another fight. We’ve got obsidian swords and tower-cap wood shields. I and the other miner will be using our picks and Salty of course has his crossbow. If it comes down to it we may need to fight our way out of the fortress.
1st of Granite. Year 51.
Happy new year. Living completely underground hasn’t been so bad. Sure we may never see the sun again but… Well we’ve got a pretty nice tavern.
19th of Granite. Year 51.
One of my fellow dwarves had the bright idea of setting up some traps for the undead. We’ve got plenty of rocks we can drop on them and we can build a narrow hallway in the old tavern. I’ll get a mechanics workshop up and running.
26th of Granite. Year 51.
The troglodytes came into the tavern again but this time we were ready for them. We ripped through them with the greatest of easy. Cutting them down where they stood. Welcome to The Mechanical Onion, mother fucker!
Of course I’m aware this was just a minor victory. The undead will be far harder to defeat since they wear armour and they don’t bleed. I keep this revelation to myself of course, it’s been too long since these dwarves had a reason to celebrate and they needed this victory.
20th of Hematite. Year 51.
The dwarves seem very reluctant to arm the traps. Maybe they want to delay the fight as long as possible. Sadly we can’t delay much longer, we’re running out of food and drink. I’ve designated a fishing area in the caverns. It’s not the safest way to get food but there’s little choice in the matter. And the troglodytes continue to be an annoyance.
2nd of Malachite. Year 51.
Dwarves are getting restless due to a lack of prayer. I’ve designated a hallway as a general temple called The Mess Of Growth. Let’s hope those gods hear our prayers.
6th Malachite. Year 51.
I’ve converted my room into a makeshift hospital called The Helmed Home.
15th of Malachite. Year 51.
We’ve run out of drinks and we’re now reduced to drinking muddy cavern water. Still no one wants to arm the traps. I may have to unlock the door without them.
4th of Galena. Year 51.
There’s no food or drink left. This is the day we fight. Today Drilledsacks will either stand or fall. We stand guard at the end of an unarmed trap hallway. We hear something coming. A random human poet comes screaming out of the hallway. And then another random human poet. Then another poet, a dwarf this time.
8th of Galena. Year 51.
Ok, I guess we’ll have to meet them outside.
(Everyone was killed in battle. It wasn’t even close. Dr Dave didn’t come to the battle since he was in the hospital where he died of dehydration.)

Original prompt: [WP]: After 1,000 years the Chosen One has dragged out doing side quests for long enough. Seeking death from his immortality he ventures to destroy the Great Evil and save the princess. When he enters the dungeon he is greeted with: “Sir, this is an Arby’s” (link)
"Though it took many long hours to defeat all the side quests, it was not until I looked out upon the valley that now stood where that creek had once been, I realized just how many winters it had been!" the swordsman said.
"Marvelous. Can I take your order, sir?" the cashier asked.
"With that revelation, I knew that I had to hunt her down: My mortal enemy, the greatest evil the world has ever known, vampire lord Kaira!" the swordsman said. "Only then could the world move forward and finally leave this era of darkness behind us!"
"Could I suggest an Arby's supreme?" the cashier said, noting the new customers entering behind the crazed man.
"And then, the world liberated and the princess free, the magic could return to the world and we could all rejoice at her just rule!" the swordsman shouted.
"Sir, we do have other customers, if you don't want to place an order then could you please step aside?" the cashier asked. They saw no reason to bring up that the country was a democracy now, so even if there was a princess, she would likely end up being a cultural figurehead at best.
"Other customers?!!?" The swordsman said, whirling around. "Are you minions of Kaira?"
The other people in line backed away as the lunatic whirled around the razor-sharp hunk of steel.
"You! You look vampire-y! Get over here!" he shouted at the girl wearing eyeshadow and a black shirt.
"Uh..." she said.
"Where is she? Where is your mistress?!?!" He screamed at the frightened teenager.
"I don't know! There's a jewelry store on 5th street called Kaira's, maybe there?" she said.
"Ha! You can't escape me, vampire lord!" the swordsman shouted, charging out the door and sprinting down the road.
"Um... I'll have an Arby's supreme..." the girl said, noticing that she was now at the front of the line.
The boutique jewelry shop had been around for decades, but the manager was relatively new to it. When the swordsman burst in wielding a massive flamberge, he was quick to press the silent alarm to alert the police.
"You there! Where is the Vampire Lord Kaira!" the swordsman screamed.
"What? Who?" the manager asked.
"The namesake of your place of business, good sir!" he said, still shouting at the top of his lungs.
"What? I think it was named after the founder's mother or something? Please stop waving that sword around, sir," the manager said.
"And where is this mother?" he shouted.
"I don't know! The company was founded almost a century ago, so probably dead?" he said.
"Nonsense! Vampires do not die from something as simple as time!" the swordsman shouted.
"Sir, you're scaring the other customers, please go look somewhere else," the manager said.
"Bah! This is the worst puzzle I have ever seen!" the swordsman said, turning toward the exit. "I must seek the wisdom of the gods! For Avalon!"
Father Michael was busy figuring out the schedule for the church's next charity drive when one of his favorite volunteers burst in.
"Ah, Rossen, to what do I owe the pleasure?" the priest asked.
"I must find my mortal enemy, the vampire lord Kaira!" the swordsman asked.
"Rossen, my child, such rage is not good for the soul. I urge you to consider forgiveness before you do something rash," the Father said.
"I need no advice on my destined quest, Father! I simply must see the basin!" Rossen shouted.
"The basin is always open to such a devoted follower, but I must again ask that you do a confessional, it sounds like your mind is quite troubled," the priest said.
"No time! It has been 1000 years, the vampire could be hours away from completing her master plan!" the swordsman shouted.
"If it has been 1000 years, then what's another hour going to-" the priest said, only to realize that the swordsman had run into the back room of the church while he was talking.
The swordsman pushed past the piles of furniture and dug into the crate of ceremonial relics at the back. The gold basin had been sold at a charity auction almost a century before, but the actual holy relic was made of ceramic and copper. The swordsman brought it to the kitchen, pouring a splash of communion wine and a dried herb from his satchel into the basin before filling it with water, and began praying over it.
As the ripples on the water stilled, an image formed on its surface of a building. An office complex, the image centered on a single room within it. The swordsman knelt down, lifting up the basin and chugging the contents to gain the wisdom within, before cleaning and returning the basin to storage and heading out to find his enemy.
The alarm blared for a good five minutes before the synthesized voice came from the computer.
"Kaira? I don't know if you can hear it, but it's time to get up. Work starts in an hour," the feminine voice said.
"Ugh..." the woman lying in the bed groaned.
She batted the alarm with her hand before walking over to the bathroom. She gave herself a once-over in the mirror... Yes, she would need a shower, there was no getting around it today. Kaira took off the T-shirt she had slept in, bearing the logo of a punk band she'd watched a decade or so before, and got into the shower.
As soon as the water started her feet locked into place, so she quickly scrubbed herself with soap and rinsed off. Not being able to cross running water made bathing quite a hassle. She toweled off before heading to the kitchen. It was a lot harder to whisk people off the streets without getting caught these days, so Kaira had to sate her need for blood from bags and the occasional animal. She grabbed a half-drained blood bag and poured a bit of it into a cup before going to check on her prisoner.
The 30-something year old woman floating in the pod of green liquid still looked the same as the day she was shoved in there. It had become clear after the first decade that the hero was taking his sweet time with rescuing her, and without any sort of divine magic or vampiric power to keep her young, the princess had been concerned that she might be too old to fulfill her destiny if they simply waited. Since Kaira had no intention of sharing her vampiric power, she'd come up with this alternative solution. The wires connecting the princess' brain to her computer was an idea she'd occasionally come to regret.
"Need I remind you that it takes ten minutes to reach the offices? You have to leave in the next five minutes if you want to arrive on time," the princess said through the computer's speaker.
"Well excuse me, princess, but I don't exactly care about arriving on time," the vampire said.
"Perhaps, though you wouldn't have to work at all if you hadn't given all your money to that Nigerian prince," the princess said.
"It was a wise investment! The fortune will pay dividends soon enough!" Kaira said, trudging toward the door.
"Keep telling yourself that, Kaira," the computer said as the door slammed shut behind her.
The vampire lord burst back in two minutes later with blisters on her face.
"Oh yes, don't forget to apply your sunscreen," the computer said.
The vampire responded by showing the camera one of her fingers, and grabbing the bottle of sunscreen off the shelf before heading out again.
As Kaira arrived at the offices, she headed for the security office and took over the post from her coworker. It was about that time when a screaming madman with a sword burst into the building.
"Vampire Lord Kaira! Your demise has arrived!" The hero shouted, charging at the security guard.
"About time, have at thee!" Kaira shouted, nicking her finger and forming a thin blade from her own blade.
The holy sword the hero wielded cleaved clean through the blood sword, but said sword simply reformed and began bending around the legendary blade as they fought. The office workers quickly began panicking and fleeing the building as the two fought. The vampire got a few nicks on the swordsman, but ended up getting her head lopped off in return.
"Haha! Now the world may be liberated from your tyranny!" the hero said.
The vampire didn't respond, due to her throat being in two pieces, rendering speech impossible. The vampire's phone, however, did begin to ring.
The swordsman carefully reached down and answered.
"Kaira, you left your keys on the desk, come pick them up before someone breaks in," the computerized voice of the princess said through the phone.
"Princess, fear not! I have come to rescue you!" the hero said.
"Hm? Oh, you must be the legendary hero Rossen, the name's actually Priscilla. I'm not exactly in tip-top shape right now, but I guess it's good to finally put all this behind us," the princess said. "So Kaira's dead then?"
"Indeed, she lies slain in the field of battle," Rossen said.
"Battlefield? I assume you went through the whole process, right? Live Mistletoe stake through the heart, head cut completely off and the wound bathed in mercury, buried no less than ten feet under, face down in a silver-lined sarcophagus..." the princess said, continuing to list off the steps to properly and permanently inter a vampire lord. Kaira's body stirred, grasping her head and pressing it back onto her shoulders.
"Uh..." the hero said. "Maybe?"
The conversation was interrupted by Kaira leaping onto the hero's back and sinking her teeth into his neck.
"Augh!" The hero exclaimed as he dropped the phone, shoving her off and jumping back, sword at the ready.
"Got you, hero! Now you will become my thrall and... Blegh, why does your blood taste so bad?" Kaira asked.
"Joke's on your, vampire! I'm a holy warrior of the church of light, immune to vampirism! And if that's not it, then it might be my debilitating addiction to opium," the hero said, a twitch showing in his eye. "Speaking of which..."
The swordsman reached into his pocket with his free hand and pulled out a tincture of laudanum, throwing it back before turning back to the vampire.
"Now, have at thee, beast!" the hero said, the wound on his neck still bleeding freely.
He and the vampire leapt back into their duel. The two exchanged blows until the hero passed out from blood loss.
"Hm... You know, I figured this would be more satisfying," Kaira said, watching her mortal enemy as he died on the floor.
Rossen awoke on a stone slab in the church's storage room. He hoisted himself off, grabbing the sword from its resting place next to him and rushing out through the front of the church, where Father Michael was being questioned by police officers.
"Excuse me, sir, please hold on-" one of the officers said as the swordsman ran past them and down the street.
"Thank you for your cooperation, sir, but it looks like we've got our guy," the officer talking to the priest said as the other officers moved out in pursuit.
The swordsman, now disarmed, sat at the police station across a table from the vampire lord and a laptop connected to the princess over wifi. The trio was in an interrogation room, Kaira and Rossen in handcuffs.
"I can't believe I lost my job because of you," Kaira said.
"You murdered a man in the middle of an office complex," Priscilla said.
"And yet here he is," Kaira said, glaring at the swordsman.
"I can't believe they took my sword," Rossen said.
"You chopped a woman's head off!" Priscilla said
"She got better!" Rossen said, gesturing toward the vampire.
The princess groaned and said, "I know humility is a virtue, but you two make it very hard not to feel like the smartest person in the room."
"I can be clever," Kaira said.
"So can I," Rossen said.
"Oh you can, can you? Then Kaira, why do most days feel like I'm back to babysitting my 8 year old sister? And Rossen, why did you spend twenty generations putzing around instead of doing your fucking job?" Priscilla asked.
The two people physically present in the room just stared at the ground. Silence filled the room for a few minutes until a police officer entered through the far door.
"Well, the test results are in, and it looks like the fingerprints and DNA do match. I have no idea how it happened, but this man and our John Doe are one in the same," the officer said.
"It's a simple blessing of destiny, I cannot be permanently killed while my destiny remains uncompleted!" Rossen said.
"Sure, whatever floats your boat," the officer said. "Anyway, you kids need to stop all this tomfoolery. Boy, if we get any more reports of you harassing people with that sword of yours, we'll have to press charges. And girl, no more wanton acts of violence, even if your victims are immortal."
"But-" the two said.
"Hush," Priscilla said.
"Miss? Given that she insisted you be here, is it safe to assume you're this girl's mother?" the officer asked.
"Excuse me?" Priscilla asked, the image on the monitor being a touched-up version of the somewhat older face on her preserved body.
"Mom, I'm scared," Kaira said.
"Dammit," Priscilla said. "Apparently I am..."
"Well, we'll need you to come pick her up from the station as soon as possible," the officer said.
"That might... Actually, I'll be right there..." Priscilla said, the screen shifting to her annoyed expression.
"When do I get my sword back?" Rossen asked.
"You may reclaim your belongings when you leave the station," the officer said. "But again, don't go around threatening people with it or we might not give it back."
As the officer guided to two toward the front door, stopping to pick up their confiscated belongings as a car pulled up in front of the station.
"Well, here I am," Priscilla said.
"How did you even- Uh, thanks mom," Kaira said, attempting to hide her confusion.
As the officer let them leave, Kaira climbed into the car. Once he was out of sight, Rossen also climbed in. The driver's seat was empty, but that didn't stop the car from pulling away and driving down the road.
"What the hell? When did we get the money to buy a car, much less a self-driving one?" Kaira asked.
"Turns out your Nigerian prince suddenly came through," Priscilla said.
"Haha! I knew it!" Kaira said.
"Just kidding. I was actually the Nigerian prince all along," Priscilla said. "You really need to take better care of your things."
"Wait, so all of those part-time jobs were completely unnecessary?" Kaira asked.
"No, I found your struggling to be very amusing, and isn't that what life's all about in the end?" the princess asked.
The vampire lord paused for a moment, angrily preparing a rebuttal.
"So what do we do now?" Rossen asked, derailing her train of thought.
"Well, I want to go home," Kaira said. "Wait, why are you here?"
"I mean, the door was open," Rossen said.
"I figured you might try to kill me after you found out about the whole 'stole all your money' thing," Priscilla said.
"If I let it go when you killed my dragon, I'm not going to hold this against you," Kaira said.
"How was I supposed to know he was allergic to chocolate?" Priscilla asked.
"Not to interrupt, but where are we going?" Rossen asked.
"Oh, we're already here," Priscilla said, flashing the headlights at sign in front of the apartment complex. "I'll meet you in the room."
Kaira and Rossen stepped out and began heading toward Kaira's room, while the car drove off toward the parking deck.
"So... not to jinx it, but why have you stopped trying to kill me?" Kaira asked.
"I mean, we're both kind of immortal... Plus, you and the princess are the only ones from the old world that are still alive... Hell, it seems like nobody in this time even remembers that magic existed at all, and one of the main reasons I started this quest was to bring it back..." Rossen said. "It really makes this whole quest feel... Well, you know, pointless."
"Eh, life's like that sometimes," Kaira said. "Hope you're not hungry, because my fridge is full of nothing but bags of blood."
"Compared to sleeping on a bench, I'm sure any accommodation will be an improvement," Rossen said.
With that, the two headed inside. The future seemed uncertain, but one thing was guaranteed: They would definitely live to see it.

Let me start out with saying how I've missed games like this, how creative the game is as well as how it doesn't hold your hand. It truly is an open world game instead of what a lot of games think open world is and in reality, isn't.
I started playing about 2 weeks ago. Got the hang of things, got off the Plateau, started reading between the lines and learning what's what. Still ended up doing dumb things like getting zapped by lightning and not knowing why. I am also one of those types that refuses to look online for answers/help with certain puzzles or clues on how to solve anything specific as I'd rather learn and figure it out.
- So I leave the Plateau.
- I get to the first town and figure out how to wrangle a horse on the way there.
- That town sends me to the second town with the little scientist girl.
- I manage to find and complete a handful of shrines that have me at 7 total hearts.
- I have a few side quests in my journal (but nothing big or earth shattering) and the 'defeat Ganon' plus the 'Memories' quests. I'm given the divine beasts quests from the old lady at the first town.
- By a stroke of bad luck, I end up pursuing the thunder divine beast questline. Spent HOURS making my way through the town quests, Yiga Clan line and then to the actual Divine Beast. I feel like I am WAY under-leveled (hearts and equipment) for this.
- Get though the divine beast 'dungeon' to meet Ganon at the end and get 2 shotted every time.
- Teleport out with the intention of coming back when stronger.
But now the question is, I basically have the 'beat the game' questline and the divine beast questlines. Not much else. I obviously need more hearts and better equipment, yet, when traveling, I did any shrine I could find and lit up any tower I could get to and now shrines feel very uncommon.
I feel like I am totally missing something about the other 95% of the game that I don't have quests for or lack any actual direction to go and do?

The following X-Men combine into a single mutant, The X-Man. Who can they defeat?
616 versions.
Fusion components

• Angel's wings.
• Cyclops' laser eyes.
• Beast's intelligence.
• Iceman's ice powers.
• Professor X mind abilities
• Nightcrawler's teleportation powers.
• Emma Frost's diamond skin, telepathy and telekinesis
• Colossus' powers.
• Wolverine's regeneration, adamantium skeleton and claws.
• Storm's weather manipulation and elemental use.
• Rogue's power stealing.
• Gambit's kinetic energy control.
• The fusion inherits none of their weaknesses.

Round 1: The X-Man with the powers listed above.
Round 2: The X-Man has Jean Grey with the Phoenix Force.

If the sacrifices for and the takedowns of the Armor, Beast, and Colossal were all shown in sync.
Imagine showing the soldiers charging toward the Beast, then it cuts to Armin taking the Colossal’s heat, then to Conny and Sasha aiming the thunderspears at the Armor.
Then it shows Mikasa throwing the thunderspear into the Armor’s mouth, Eren sneaking up on the Colossal, and Levi attacking the Beast. Then maybe three split screens where Reiner, Bertholdt, and Zeke all come out of their titans defeated.

Through Monday, June 26 we present the Lex Arcana Bundle featuring Lex Arcana, the FRPG from Italian design team Quality Games (published by Acheron Games) of a magical Roman Empire that never fell. Travel the known world to study arcane lore, uncover conspiracies, and battle dangerous supernatural creatures. It's Cthulhu Invictus meets The X-Files – the HBO Max Rome series meets The Witcher. Dive into the mysteries and dangers of ancient Rome. The Emperor commands!
In our world we would call it the year 476 CE; in the alternate history of Lex Arcana, the year is 1229 Ab Urbe Condita, "from the founding of the City." Heeding powerful haruspices and oracles, the Romans have suppressed forbidden cults and maintained their conquests. The Empire reaches from the beautiful beaches of Italia to the Egyptian deserts, from misty Britannia to the rivers of Babilonia. Yet now, after 12 centuries, the augurs speak of sinister portents. Despite the Empire's luxurious ostentation and military might, arcane threats eat at its foundations. In the great cities, cults make converts among the poor and dispossessed. On the frontiers, enemy sorcerers unleash frightening monsters against Roman garrisons. Emperor Theodomirus commands the Cohors Auxiliaria Arcana to study inexplicable phenomena, uncover arcane secrets, infiltrate cults, and defeat dangerous supernatural creatures.
In Lex Arcana you are a Custos (warden) of the Cohors Auxiliaria Arcana. You left your former life to join a contubernium of 3-6 Custodes, warrior-scholars of high privilege and great skill. Taking the office of Augur, Diplomat, Explorer, Fighter, or Scholar (or perhaps the sixth, hidden office, Assassin), you gain a special talent and the protection of a tutelary deity such as Apollo Phoebus, Diana Opifera, or Minerva Ingeniosa. Your Virtutes (virtues) and Peritiae (skills) determine how many dice you can roll to accomplish a task. You choose the number and type (d4, d6, d20, etc.) of dice to roll: For instance, if you have 12 points available, you might decide to roll a d12, or 2d6, or 3d4. Rolling fewer or smaller dice increases your chance for a fate roll (critical success).
Your Pietas (piety) empowers magical divinations, or Indigitamenta (invocations), in one of six discplines: Precognition, Clairvoyance, Retrocognition, Omens, Dreams, or Favor of the Gods. If you fail to honor the gods, or invoke them in vain, you may lose Pietas. And your invocations may weaken as you travel further from Rome.
Co-designed by Francisco Nepitello (The One Ring), and funded in a big September 2018 Kickstarter campaign, the 310-page Lex Arcana Second Edition rulebook (2019) presents complete character creation rules, a 116-page section for the Demiurge (gamemaster), a bestiary of Greco-Roman monsters, and two linked full-length adventures. Get the rulebook, four gorgeous full-color setting guides, and ten scenarios in this Lex Arcana Bundle for an unbeatable bargain price.
Pay just US$17.95 to get all three titles in our Starter Collection (retail value $65) as DRM-free .PDF ebooks, including the complete Lex Arcana core rulebook (plus the free Quickstarter) and the setting sourcebooks Italia and Encyclopedia Arcana.
And if you pay more than the threshold (average) price, which is set at $29.95 to start, you'll level up and also get our entire Bonus Collection with three more titles worth an additional $56, including the regional sourcebooks Dacia and Thracia and Aegyptus and the ten-scenario collection Mysteries of the Empire.
Ten percent of your payment (after gateway fees) goes to this Lex Arcana offer's designated charity, Direct Relief. Direct Relief sends protective gear and critical care medications to health workers, with emergency deliveries to medical facilities across the US and to regional response agencies across the world.
The Emperor needs you! Get this Lex Arcana offer before it says ave atque vale and vanishes Monday, June 26.
https://bundleofholding.com/presents/LexArcana