Gingerbread house recipe for silicone mold

So, I (38F) have a (23F) daughter. She has always been an outgoing girl growing up, and she has always dreamt of traveling the world. Mind you, as a kid, she never cleaned up after herself. Her room was always a mess - dirty dishes along with mold that grew inside of them. I never saw her room clean. I always got onto her about that, but she didn’t listen. She acted like she was gonna clean her room, yet never did. Partially, I feel like that is my fault for not getting on her harder.
After she moved out, she did not go to college, which I have no problem with, since she wanted to go to different countries.
During the winter of 2022, she decided to go to Honduras for the whole winter. She had saved up enough money herself. Anyways, she came back in May. Since she had no where to stay, I, as her mom, told her she can come live with me of course. All of my bedrooms were filled since I had other kids, as well as step kids. Her step sister (17F) told her that she can sleep in her room since they had a close relationship.
My daughter immediately moved all of her stuff into my step daughters room and soon it became overwhelming for my step daughter, as she had a lot of things that crowded her room. My step daughter has always kept her room straight, and never had too much cluttered.
Soon after she had moved in, she basically went back to her old ways. She left dishes in there, leaving them for my step daughter to clean up, and the room was constantly a mess because of her. My step daughter was upset because of it, but didn’t want to hurt her feelings.
She wasn’t working, and she barely took showers. It was disgusting since she walked around EVERYWHERE barefoot, and I mean to stores, restaurants, etc. So I see where my step daughter is coming from, because I wouldn’t want someone sleeping in my bed that was dirty. She also constantly left my house a mess, and disrespected my rules.
My rules were simple. Clean up after yourself, keep your room clean, help with chores. She did none. I had enough after 2 months, and told her she can no longer live with me and she needs to clean out her stuff by this weekend.
She was livid - Screaming at me, telling me that she had no where to go except for her friends. I wasn’t gonna leave her on the streets obviously, but she wasn’t gonna stay in my house. I had a few people that she could live with, and told her her options. She left my house with none of her stuff, so I cleaned out my step daughters room and put everything in trash bags. I set them on the porch and told her she needs to come get everything before it gets thrown away. She came by and picked up all of her stuff and left. She hasn’t talked to me since.
So, Am I the Asshole? Please give me feedback, I’m unsure on what to do with this situation.

Thank you to everyone who responded in my last post! I have begun to play ACNH even more during my freetime. The fact I can decorate things in a cute cottagecore style is something I find absolutely adorable. Granted I am somewhat stuck on working on a layout and everything, but still it's fun.
Currently, I am working on building my village the way I want too. However, this has proven to be more difficult than how I originally thought as even with time travel I don't seem to be getting any good items in the shops and the recipes that I get often seem to be the same ones repeatedly.
Furthermore, it seems as though getting bells is going to drive me insane as I still have to pay off a housing upgrade (I've ran out of storage at my home as well as I kept buying things for my villagers before realizing I can only give them one thing a day) and get a staircase built.
( I decided on a certain one and have started paying for it but now I'm not sure if I want that color anymore as I dont know any path designs that match, not sure how to fix that yet or if I can).
Anyway this leads me to my main questions... How can I make sure I get items and DIYs that I don't have? What are some ways to get enough bells to pay things off quickly?

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Back again with my pile of funky little builds for people who want something different on their board.
These pedals are built on vero or point to point, many in upcycled tins, a few in hammond boxes. They all run on standard 9v pedal power.
I have valued them in 4 tiers:

• D tier are my trashy cheapies, made from reclaimed components. I don't feel right asking a lot for reclaimed components. I value them in the $40 - $50 range, not really picky about what I trade for.
• C tier are the cheapies made with new components. I value these in the $50 - $60 range, not very picky here either.
• B tier I will trade for pedals in the $65-$90 value range, depending on the complexity of the build. A little pickier.
• A tier are my favorite or most complex builds. I will be picky about trades for these. (But still not Boutique prices; I have no delusions). It's probably less about value here and more about how much I actually want the thing you have. Think in the $90 - $150 range.

I have prices for most of these listed here if you want to buy.
MOBILE USERS: There are 4 columns in the table below: Name, Tier, Links, and Notes. If you don't see all 4, scroll over or ask for more info.
Drives, Distortions, and Boosts

Name	Tier	Links	Notes
Delfterential Distortion	A	PIC Demo	Willmott Differential Distortion with an added tone control; knobs are Gain, Bias, Bass Cut, Tone, and Volume. Housed in an antique Delft-style tin. Has a big ampy sound to it, can get pretty crunchy and fuzzy.
Shining Hope Drive	B	PIC Demo	Differential mirroring drive, gives a kind of overdriven-mixer-channel distortion. Controls for gain, tone, and volume. Housed in a star-shaped Christmas tin.
PoormansSans amp sim	B	PIC DEMO	This is an all-in-one amp & speaker sim prototype in a small square tin. The preamp is custom designed, based loosely on a DOD 250 but with many changes. Soft clipping can be toggled on or off. The speaker sim is a 4x12 simulator designed by TruVAL. Controls for treble, bass, gain, volume, nd clipper toggle. No stomp on this one, it's always on.
Bright-on	C	PIC	MOSFET bright boost with loads of gain and adjustable bass cut. Built in point-to-point fashion and housed in a reinforced heart-shaped tin.
Phoenix Drive	C	PIC Demo	EasyDrive-type circuit with a symmetry knob. Sounds a little muffy on the symmetric side, more crunchy on the other.
Green Sparkler Boost	D	PIC	Just an Escobedo Duende JFET boost built point-to-point in a sparkly little round tin. Gives a little gain and a bit of warmth to the tone.
Christmas Goose Boost	D	PIC DEMO	Point-to-point build of Brian May treble booster made with old clock radio parts. In a little goose tin.

Fuzzes

Name	Tier	Links	Notes
Copper Top Harmonic Plonkulator	A	PIC DEMO	The "harmonic plonkulator" is a two-stage fuzz based on a harmonic percolator mashed up with a bazz fuss going into an octave fuzz. Lots of weird fuzz tones available from this one, it has controls for A and B gain (kind of acts like Fuzz and Bias), Tone (which is between the two fuzz stages) and an octave switch that changes the second fuzz stage from a non-octave to octave fuzz. Housed in a 125B with top jacks.
Vulpine Deluxx Timbre Contraption	A	PIC DEMO	My perversion of a Foxx Tone Machine, with a pot to dial in the octave and a battery drain simulator for nastier tones. Has a mid scoop switch for the Tone knob giving you muff-like sounds. In a 125B with top jacks.
Sparkly Sili-Face	A	PIC DEMO	Runoffgroove Siliface II, a wonderful silicon fuzzface implementation, built point-to-point style and housed in a sparkly 125B with top jacks. Controls for Bias and Volume, gain is always cranked on this. Bias goes from full, rich fuzz to choppy gated fuzz nicely.
OogieBoogie Scarecrow Fuzz	B	PIC Demo	Jordan Bosstone-based fuzz with controls for input gain, battery drain, and volume, as well as a switch to toggle between LED and Schottkey clippers. Capable of some truly horrific noises as well as stock fuzz sounds. Housed in a reinforced tin.
Creature from the planet Chyowngg	B	PIC Demo	Prototype of a unique fuzz I've been developing that I call the Chyowngg fuzz. It's a 2-stage octaver that gives a bright synthy tone with a distinctive envelope (hence the name). You can toggle each stage from octave to non-octave mode for a variety of interesting timbres. Also has a tone control, but the tone control is before the octave stages so it results in interesting behaviors depending on the switch settings. It's in a tin meant to be painted like an alien, though some say it looks more like a triceratops.
Lizard Monster of the Planet Chyowngg	B	PIC DEMO	This is like the "Creature from the planet Chyowngg" except it also has a glitchy sub-octave tone that you can blend in for some truly monstrous tones. Housed in a painted tin.
Happy ChrizzMuss Tree Fuzz	C	PIC Demo	Another gated double-bazz-fuss type fuzz, this one features a bias knob for adjusting the bias of the first stage and a bass boost switch. Housed in a Christmas tree tin.
Avenger's fuzz	C	PIC DEMO	Another harmonic fussulator (Bazz-fussified harmonic percolator) built into a little avenger's puzzle tin. Knobs control gain and volume, switch toggles "Hulk Smash" mode.
Pup Power fuzz	D	PIC DEMO	A trashy perversion of a harmonic percolator circuit, built point-to-point from recycled components. Housed in a painted paw patrol puzzle tin.
Stripedy Trashtone Fuzz	D	PIC Demo	A point-to-point perversion of a Jordan Bosstone housed in a bandaid tin. Only volume control here.

Non-Dirt

Name	Tier	Links	Notes
Splatter Funk envelope filter	A	PIC DEMO of identical circuit	Quackmire envelope filter with added knobs for attack and drive, as well as a smoothing switch. In a 125B with top jacks.
Koozebanian Spoobletron	A	PIC Demo	Not exactly a vibe, not exactly a phaser, not exactly a tremolo, but kind of all of them or thereabouts. Knobs control speed and depth, the switch goes from vibe-ish mode to phaser-ish mode. Housed in a hand-painted 1590b box, side jacks
Oh the flubbles you'll Wubble	B	PIC DEMO	Kind of a vibe, kind of a phase, but also a ring mod if you want it to be. This is an evolution of my spoobletron circuit. Controls for Rate, Depth, and Waveshape; switches for vibe/phase and ringmod mode. Housed in a giant oval tin that probably won't sit nicely on your pedal board. Read the full story here
Shay-key-tay-tur	B	PIC Demo	Simple colorsound Tremolo with knobs for rate and depths. Gives a pretty classic amp tremolo sound. Housed in a Mr Potato Head tin.

Little Amps

Name	Links	Description
Ample iMank	PICS	This is a Runoffgroove Ruby Amplifier built into this old multimedia speaker enclosure designed to look like an old iMac. Glows blue when you turn it on. It runs from a standard 9v pedal power. It's not terribly loud, nor terribly clean, but if you dig the classic mac vibe it might be fun. Controls for gain and volume, and a power switch on the back.

Some Non-DIY Stuff
Will be a little picky on the pricier ones. Make an offer.

Brand	Name	Condition	Notes
Olsen Interfaces	Mudwedge	Excellent	Boutique fuzz with tons of tweaking options and a second stomp with configurable functionality. Pretty deluxe item here.
Line 6	POD 2.0	Good	Had this for 20+ years, just not using it anymore. It toured and it looks it. Still holds up, though. Can throw in the FBV4 footswitch if needed.
Ammoon	Pock Loop	Excellent	Good looper, I just prefer some other loopers I've acquired. I have the box for it, if that matters.
Danelectro	Fab Chorus	Excellent	Cheap plastic chorus, but sounds great. Probably just a make-weight, too cheap to trade on its own.
Caline	10-band EQ	Good	Works fine, I just don't really need 10 bands of EQ. Has velcro on the back, and sometimes makes a weird noise when you turn on the pedalboard. Another make-weight.
Ibanez	PH7	Good	Tonelok phaser. Great pedal, has some glue on the bottom I couldn't get off, but works fine.

What would I trade for??
I'm really open to almost any sort of gear if it relates to music and audio (see the don't wants, though). Leaning more towards synth or recording gear than pedals, but still open to pedals.
Musical wants of various specificity:

• Fancy DSP type pedals (the kind I can't build)
• SM57 or similar mics
• Korg Volcas. Especially the sampling or FM one. Or other MIDI synths.
• Any yamaha reface keyboards
• A 4x4 MIDI interface
• Pedal power with multiple 300mA+ outputs.
• Mackie 1202 VLZ in good shape
• Cheap guitars or basses
• Unbuilt pedal kits/enclosures/parts, or DIY in need of TLC.
• A small 8-ohm cab
• Studio, drum, keyboard, or midi gear. Any interesting music-related equipment, really. Even boring stuff like power conditioners. I play keys, bass, guitar, some percussion, and record, so I'm into all kinds of gear.

Non-music-gear wants:

• DIY electronics tools (would love a decent scope or transistor tester)
• Your old laptop, especially if its a Dell, maybe in the 5-8yr-old range (let's say >4GB ram, >i5 processor). Don't even need the hard drive or OS, or much battery life, as long as everything else works.
• If you just want to do cash, some of this stuff is listed on my reverb.com store. Moving away from reverb due to fees, though. Paypal/venmo works if we want to avoid any Imperial entanglements, just DM me for a price (let me know your zip code too).

Probably not wants:

• Dirt pedals. Might make an exception for something really intriguing, though.
• Guitar parts and speakers. Haven't gone there yet, though I'm getting a bit into small DC amp building.
• Anything I can easily get on Amazon or Reverb for under $50, unless we're bundling items. Just not worth shipping one thing when it's that cheap.
• Behringer pedals. Just not a fan.

A Note about mods/repairs/custom jobs: I've been asked about this a few times. Right now, I think I'd just prefer not to. I enjoy doing what I do on my own terms. Cheers!

I'm a first-time homeowner. My family bought a 100-year-old house in the Great Lakes region. The attic is converted into a loft, where my wife and kids and I all sleep. Shortly after moving in (early January), we realized we could see daylight through suspicious-looking holes in the drywall at the roofline. When the temperature heated up, the whole floor filled with an unpleasant damp-wood-and-rodents smell. We've now been here two summers, and that smell consistently returns every sunny day above about 75 degrees.
Upon closer inspection, especially after removing the carpet, it was clear that the gap between the drywall and floor under the rafters was filled with debris. Crumbled drywall, rotted wood, rodent droppings, tinfoil, damaged insulation. The smell was clearly coming from there. After some digging, we found that the previous owner had replaced the roof after dealing (or rather, not dealing) with multiple leaks over a fairly long period of time. I pulled away some of the crumbling drywall and found (surprise, surprise) old, inactive mold.
This is not our forever home. We are welcoming our fourth child into this one-bedroom house, so our time here is limited (maybe one or two more years). We don't have more than a few thousand dollars to throw at this thing. If the leaks are stopped—and I'm pretty sure they are—can we just frame out the corners where the rafters meet the floor? Block out most of the smell and call it good enough? There is no visible mold inside the house anywhere. Since we have no idea how extensive the mold is internally, and because it's in literally the most inaccessible part of the house—the space between two floors, some of it accessible only from the outside of the house—I don't really want to write anyone a blank check to come solve this for us.
https://imgur.com/yBieNoR
https://imgur.com/9hqCIq4
https://imgur.com/lurMafw

We are preparing to sell our house and haven’t figured out how best to address this space to make it look finished. We ripped out some old built-in benches in bad shape, the floor underneath them was unfinished and base molding doesn’t continue. Plan to put thin black matte frames around windows but other than that not sure what to do. Thanks for any advice

I'm a cheapskate and a bored stay at home mom who typically leaves the house around 9:30 and comes back for nap time. Dunkin is located at the end of my subdivision so I got roped in with the offers and convenience. I started out just getting sweet tea because CHEAP but eventually found my preferred orders which at the beginning was iced coffee and once I got sick of that I really started liking the refreshers. I could bear with the inconsistencies between the drinks because I was typically able to get them for pretty cheap. But after the horrible offers this month and just now getting a somehow rancid tasting sweet tea, I think it's time for me to take a break from Dunkin. That being said, last month I was killing it with the refresher orders. Thanks to the $2 boosted offer, has anybody figured out how to recreate them at home? I've read some recipes but want to hear the tried and true. For the most part trying to find an option for the flavored syrups. I feel like I can recreate the green tea or lemonade easily.

I decided to put feeders out this past weekend. I've never done this before, though my parents have been doing it for years. I have a feeder on each side of the house and am using store-bought clear nectar. One of the feeders is window-mounted by my home office so I can see if anyone's showing up. A catbird perched on it briefly yesterday. The other feeders look no different than what my parents and other people use. Think red glass bottle with a feeding area with red "blooms" and perches molded into it.
I live near Chattanooga, Tennessee. I realize that this may not have been the ideal time to do this because I may have missed the migratory birds returning to this area. But aren't these birds always on the lookout for new food sources? A friend in Middle Tennessee said he's only been seeing them at his feeders for a couple of weeks. Last year, I'm pretty sure at least one of my neighbors had some feeders out, but I can't see all of their yard this year to know if they have any out this year. I don't know how many other nearby people have feeders available.
Did I do this at the wrong time?

The more I hear it, the more pissed I get that their life has been so protected and sheltered that they don't even need to think about being their own first responder.
Literally had a guy chokeslam his autistic kid in the street yesterday and I found the kid after the father went back in his home. Figured I was in some amount of danger just by hanging out with the kid trying to keep him from jumping into traffic.
My life is pretty privileged. I paid alot extra to get into the privileged area of town (best school district in town and I got a kid now and the republicans country wide school board coup wasn't successful in this district so he'll still learn all the witchcraft that is math and science).
1 month in we heard automatic gunfire. (Glock switch used by a minor on a minor in a drive-by at the park we walk out stroller at).
We regularly have cops on our dead end street that has only 15 houses.
Armed republicans knocked on doors in the area doing that vote audit shit after trump lost.
Ok, yea. Republicans have had their way with my city and made income inequality, and shelter and food insecurity the key sources of their wealth.
Buuuuut
The nearest Walgreens had a 17 year old girl employee stabbed 42 times by her 28-year old incel coworker in the breakroom (yea unrequited obsession).
My coworker lived near silicon valley. Campbell CA. His city hadn't had a homicide in 4 years. While walking home with icees from the neighborhood 7-11, shot dead by a hs senior 8 months from going into the military after an argument. (I guess he loved guns so much he couldn't wait for his career of using them to start, so he started illegally carrying his Daddys gun in the car even though he lives in one of the least homicidal towns in America).
This has all happened since Sept 2021.
Forget the first 13 years of my adult life which have even more justifications per year because I couldn't afford the privileged area of town. Just the last 1.75 years alone.

I'll keep it short and simple. I was put on a non-addicting sleep medication a few years ago(Seroquel 50 mg). I have terrible insomnia and have for decades. These meds are the first to ever help and I am not willing to go off of them. However, they work like weed and make me hungry as hell. When I first got on these I gained about 40 lbs. When I realized that I was able to lose about 20 lbs over a few months through diet/exercise. To make matters worse, I sleep walk on them...straight into the kitchen where I grab the easiest food to eat. I wake up with food in my bed regularly. Half eaten tortilla, piece of bread, apple, or peanut butter sandwhich straight up stuck to my chest with three bites taken out of it.
I exercise daily; I lift, hike, and treadmill under my desk while I work as well as occassional outdoor sports with friends.
I stopped buying all foods that can be easily prepared and eaten; no bread, tortillas, canned food, peanut butter, or snackable anything in the house unless a specific recipe calls for it. Right now i have tortillas in the house for turkey soft tacos, and I need to get more bc I've eaten too many of the tortillas at night.
I simply don't know what to do. The sleep eating seems to be the final barrier to losing weight. Despite not owning snackable food, I am now making more complex midnight snacks - like a whole bowl of oatmeal with blue berries in it.
Please help! (M)34

Curious if Andrews or UT dorms in general have some of the issues I’ve been reading about characteristic of some West Campus housing. Castilian is the one with the most negative reviews, including a Daily Texan coverage, but there are others. The issues range from broken elevators that don’t get fixed for months, AC not working repeatedly, no hot water, water turned off - so no water, bursted pipes (limited) and flooding, bad wifi, and finally, lack of safety (bums in building or things stolen). In limited cases, I’m reading about black mold. Finally also wondering if I should bring ant or roach motels. Any other tips appreciated!
I’m thankful to have housing but would like to be realistic about what the issues may be.
Re AC, it is good that the quad has windows that open. I hear many do not and cannot imagine the Texas heat without AC for long periods of time.

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TL;DR - Need recommendation for indoor air quality and/or environmental allergen/contaminant expert in central Massachusetts (Worcester area) as well as a ductwork and/or airflow expert to analyze the airflow in my home and make recommendations on improvement.
I'm going insane from the allergens in my home. Most of the other members of my family don't seem as affected as I am, but the indoor air quality is, for me, awful here. Multiple air purifiers don't seem to be doing the trick (although if I sit next to one I breathe better, so whatever my problem is, it's definitely in the air). Need to locate a local, reputable expert who can come do an assessment and make recommendations.
Secondarily, need to find a ductwork and airflow expert, since my HVAC company did a thorough once-over on the furnace and made sure the ducts were blowing, and did a thorough duct cleaning, but were very forthcoming that they're not qualified to deal with air pressure and flow issues - and I've got positive pressure coming out of my basement for some reason, when it should be exactly the opposite.
Symptoms: Itching eyes, feels like I'm breathing in something even when everyone else thinks the air is fine. Mostly on the first floor of my house - basement is fine, second floor is USUALLY much better although some days (yesterday for example) it's bad too. Worse when the outdoor temperature is moderate. Better when the AC runs full time OR when the heat runs full time. Last year I was fine in Jan/Feb/Mar, bad in April/May, fine in June/July/August/September, bad in October, fine Nov->Jan, but then the weather got weird in January and we had a spike of hot days and the heat was on/off/on/off and the air got bad again. I've been fighting it since then, but it didn't get REALLY bad until April/May. Now it's June again and the temps have yet to stay elevated, so I'm suffering still. Air purifiers seem to help but only in their general vicinity. If I crank them all day, then once the temps drop they seem to clean the air ok overnight. But I feel like I'm doing nothing to address the SOURCE of whatever irritant is affecting me.
There were problems with the HVAC - one of the lines was disconnected and just blowing air from the furnace/AC into the suspended ceiling of the basement, which can't be good. That's been fixed, but the problem persists. We have hardwoods or engineered floors in the whole house except the living room (which is the worst room for me) which has old pretty gross carpet which we intend to remove this summer and replace with hardwood. I need to wash the walls (hasn't been done in a couple years) and vacuum everything again because maybe whatever was in the ceiling (fiberglass? filth?) got all over everything, but I feel more like this is an ongoing problem with a continued source of allergen.
I probably should order an air quality monitor - what do people like for brands? (Purple? IQAir? Something else?)
For reference the house is only from 2005, I am not allergic to mold and my wife is - and she's fine so we're pretty sure this isn't a mold issue (also there's no water anywhere and the humidity is well controlled in the basement).
Basically I'm struggling with working from home 50+ hours a week, raising 3 kids, and have so little time to figure this out. It would be great if there were someone that could help me, in exchange for money. I'm hoping!

Hey guys, So this is something that I (20m) haven’t been able to really stop thinking about for a while, so please help me decide. I’m bad at talking about stuff like this so please bear with me and I’ll answer any questions to clarify. I’m really just looking for advice So when I was growing up I had a pretty normal childhood. Both caring parents. Dad was a groundskeeper who pushed me into a lot of sports, and a loving but tough mom but when I was about 10 and my dad and mom split things changed. My mom started smoking and drinking more. She was bringing over boyfriends who would be moved in after a week and gone within a couple months. My dad, despite being the one who payed for the house and bills, left me, my 2 older sisters, and mom to live there while he paid for it(stuff I didn’t find out for years, important.) after he left my mom had painted my dad as a terrible guy. Saying he was aggressive and making stuff up about him, which to my then 12 year old impressionable mind, sunk in for a while. I started hating my dad. I’d avoid going there on weekends lying that I wasn’t feeling well. One day my mom brought home her now husband. Let’s call him K. K was 40s, is ex army, and works as a. concrete cutter. K hit my a lot, and my mom just kinda sat there. For years that was my life. Scared to leave my room. Smelled like cigarettes and beerall the time, for my other 2 sister, the oldest got kicked out shortly after K came and the middle became my moms splitting image. Now fast forward to December 2017. I was a sophomore in highschool. I took some licorice from my mom and got kicked out (seriously). Got sent to my dads house to live with him. Obviously he wasn’t the monster that he was made out to be. He was and is very straight forward, but never heartless like I was made to believe. So after that, it was just my mom, middle sister, and K in that house. Fast forward again to summer of my junior year. Been with my dad for over a year, but still tried to keep in contact with my mom because she is still my mom. My mom wanted to move, but my dad wanted some money for the bills he’s been paying on their house. So my mom declared bankruptcy, and moved in with K because the middle was gonna be going to off college. During the summer of 2018, my dad and I had to personally restore my childhood home from the mold and rats and bug and cigarette stains. Putting my dad in god knows what debt since the house sold for like 1/3 of the buying price. Now it’s 2023, been a few years since I talked to my mom, I turn 21 soon. I found out she is sick from my sister. Doctors say she has signs of a stroke from what my sister. Idk what to do or how to feel. I’ve heard arguments from both sides so please help Any advice? Sorry if it’s hard to follow, I can clarify if need

A special thanks to u/SpacePaladin15 for the fantastical universe.
Have a really long chapter!
Forgot to say it has been a while. Hope you're all doing well!
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Memory transcription subject: Jaxton, son of a humble sheep farmer
Date [standardized human time]: October 11th, 2136
If someone asked me years ago how many people would travel the globe just to see me. My answer would have been three; my father, my mother, and Dex Mason. My mother and father would have been simply obligated to do so, as I was their son, and I would have done the same thing. Dex was my best friend when I went to middle school in America, and he stayed my best friend when I went back to Wales, going back to Atlanta for many vacations.
What can I say? He had a nice collection of guns, and his general cheerful attitude made many people optimistic, so a day on the range with him led to the both of us being happier.
Then you add in Dex’s older and younger brothers, our mutual friend John Dillinger, and then you have a recipe for a fun time; guns, video games, hiking, and the occasional sheep herding if they ever come to my home: It’s a blast!
An alien porcupine though… I honestly never expected that I would ever in my honest-to-God lifetime, have such an impact on someone before. We barely knew each other for even a few minutes, yet she to my knowledge was merely some sad Gojid that was struggling with depression and loss. All I did was walk in and comfort her, or well, that’s how I saw it.
I still feel like an absolute idiot for forgetting about what I told her. It wasn’t a promise, but based on the implication of how I said it. It may as well have been a declaration to see the girl a few hours later, or however long it took her to get ready.
Now, speaking of Barlim, it’s been a few minutes since she arrived at my doorway at the most unexpected of times. I had her sitting in our living room on our couch. The Gojid, or Gojya, that I had to have explained to me, had her arms wrapped around one of our decorative pillows. She was giving squeezes every few seconds depending on how she felt, and if she was really giving it a firm squeeze, I’d reach over and stroke the top of her head. Barlim seemed to relax every time I did this.
“You holding up better?” Barlim appeared to be holding up better: No longer sobbing out tears from her eyes, or having mucus running from her nostrils.
She merely sniffed weakly for a second, nuzzling into my hand. If I had to admit, I had no idea if I was performing some massive social taboo by patting her like an animal, but if she wasn’t going to complain, neither was I. I mean, I already poked myself twice more! “I’m feeling much better. Sorry for intruding…”
“Don’t be,” I said while holding back a small laugh. “Are you feeling better enough to talk now?” Barlim’s ears flicked in response, and then she nodded in response upon realizing I didn’t know what those ear flicks meant. “Good.”
“Hey, I would just like to apologize for how I acted,” my mother started before I had the chance to speak. “It’s just that I’ve seen on the news and read of murderous xenophobic aliens…-”
“It’s fine,” Barlim let out the most adorable-sounding chittering noise I have ever heard. It sounded as if a porcupine was, well, laughing! “I would not have reacted much differently… Three days ago?” At least she could make fun of herself for how she acted. Her ears gave a few flicks, gesturing towards amusement or self-depreciation if I had to guess. They burned bright blue.
My father took a minute to stand up and walk over to Barlim. She only fidgeted a little bit, but not much when he reached out to her with one hand. “Jameson, again, it’s been pleasant to meet you so far.” The man’s hand hung in the air for several seconds. Barlim eyeing it up with what had to be a quizzical expression. “You’re supposed to grab it and firmly shake it,” my father eventually grunted.
“Oh!” That seemed to snap Barlim out of her stupor. She reached forward in kind with one paw, clasping her surprisingly big paw around my father’s hand, which he shook. The Gojid seemed to have a fair understanding of the action after a few seconds, at which point the handshake ended and my father returned to his seat.
A brief, quiet pause occupied the four of us before there was more knocking at the front door. “Oh, uh, that may be the rest of my friends. I sort of forgot about them when I realized we were so close.” The tips of Barlim’s ears turned a delicate shade of blue. She started to get up, but with a firm palm on the top of her head, I held her down, gently.
“You traveled a long way. Let me get the door,” I state and get up from the couch. My knees and back stretch, giving a satisfactory series of pops before I work my way to the front door. I decide against grabbing the mask, assuming that Barlim’s friends have gotten quite used to the infamous human binocular stare. When I open it, I see a rather eclectic group of individuals, some familiar and some not.
“Arwen, Trivi, Tova, and I take it Barlim’s friends.” Arwen and Trivi issue some friendly waves. Tova has her forearms clasped around Arwen’s neck from behind, jaw resting on the redhead’s shoulders. Her eyes are puffy and orange. It was pretty easy to assume what she had been going through. Meanwhile, the other three flick their ears and tails in a way that was most likely a greeting, but that was just me making an inference based on this being our first interaction, and them not giving waves in greeting.
I really need to learn Gojid and Venlil body language.
“Just delivering the rest of that one Gojid’s friends.” Arwen’s tone was the general cheerful tone it always was. She briefly stepped back from the door and swung an arm to the side, pointing to the three aliens behind her, doing so while under the weight of Tova.
“Barlim,” one of the Gojid said to Arwen. “My name is Pragh,” she then pointed over to another Gojid, “That’s Tack, and,” she indicated to the final Gojid, “That is Telg.” Again, the other two Gojid gave very similar flicks of the ears when they glanced at me with one of their eyes. “I take it you’re Jaxton?”
I couldn’t resist the urge to curl my lips upwards in a smile. The three Gojid didn’t flinch when I exposed my teeth, for which I was grateful. I really didn’t feel like bowing to more people than I needed to at the moment, having not gotten a particularly great amount of sleep last night was not a wise idea. “You’d be correct. It seems I’m the popular man of the hour. What can I do for you all?”
“Well, Tack and I were simply following Barlim, so we were going to stay with her until the UN or whoever really controls the whole Gojid refugee camp situation comes looking for us-”
I cut off Pragh with an amused tone. “So let me get this straight. You wanna come and mooch off my family for a bit because you have nowhere to stay at the moment?” I hold my tongue for just the slightest second, letting Gojid raise up her paws defensively. Even Arwen’s eyes widen briefly at what I just said.
“That’s not-” Pragh doesn’t speak for long before I dismissively wave my hand.
“I’m joking, yes, I’m sure my parents will allow you to stay for a bit, but you’ll have to clean up after yourselves, and all that stuff.” I lean up against the doorframe. “Ok though, jokes aside, what do you all want?”
Pragh rubbed her paws over her blue ears. “Yes, well, you did sort of hit one of them. I will admit, there was very little planning other than we’re going to Wales on our part. You don’t have to worry about Telg though.”
“I scored myself a date! Hah!~ So, I will be going back to Georgia in about an hour or two.” The Gojid paused, popped open one of the pockets on his hoodie, and took a peek inside at a slip of paper he pulled out. “Two hours, yeah, I have about an hour to spend here. So you and Tack are going to stay here?”
Pragh nodded to Telg’s words. “Yep, someone has to make sure Barlim continues to be a responsible Gojid. Also, I still have more research to do over the internet-”
“Ah yes, research, Pragh, research, am I right?~”
“No! Not that! I’m not going to be looking up that!”
The two male Gojid couldn’t help but hold back giggles and chitters, making me feel as if I was missing some sort of- Oh. The second it clicked for me, I just let out a long, slow sigh. “Please, let me just say that humanity is probably not whatever you found. Factory farms are a thing of the past.” Apparently, I was wrong, for the other two Gojid started laughing more uproariously, “Ok, I’m wrong it seems…” The gears proceeds to click a second time after realizing it was something a lot more bawdy than damning. I opened my mouth to say something but quickly realized that I wouldn’t have anything to follow up on if one of them decided to make any sort of accusation, so I quickly shut my plan to speak about that down. “How about you all just come inside now? Your friend Barlim already came by, and I’m pretty sure you all would like a break from your adventure.”
“Actually, Trvi and I were going to take Tova to my home. Might take her to the hospital if Quilix has calmed down. God, I wished they transported him to Ysbyty Gwynedd, but no. He had a freakout and had to be moved to London.”
“It’s all my fault…” The dark venlil whined.
Arwen’s hand managed to work its way between Tova’s ears, giving a few scritches. Scritches that Tova nuzzled into. “Come on you big, big venlil. I know you’re upset. Just, hang in there for a little while longer. I’m sure Quilix will come around. Let’s take you home, see ya Jaxton!” Arwen waved and carried the venlil toward the parked taxi in front of my house. Well, carried was a generous term for half-carry/half-assisted in guiding toward the car.
Trivi followed seconds later, giving his own bye and wave. “Tell your mother and father I said hi, see you tomorrow!” And with that, the blonde venlil scampered off, following after his human lover.
This left me with the three other hedgehog-looking aliens standing awkwardly in front of my door. They looked amongst themselves, thinking about saying something.
Wait, someone’s missing…
“Arf! Arf!”
The three Gojid who looked like they were about to say something all jumped about a foot in the air when Lacey came bounding through them, running straight past me into my home. “Oh, Lacey! Welcome ho- Oh, and ignored.” I shake my head upon hearing the following oof that comes from my father. Lacey must’ve claimed my father’s lap as her seat. “Well, if you want to come inside and meet the rest of my family. Come right on in.”
The next few minutes are filled with more pleasantries being exchanged. The Gojid all take their place on the couch, somehow managing to fit four of them on a couch meant for three. I end up choosing to stand by my father, who gently strokes Lacey across her back. The border collie panting jovially, looking back and forth between us and our alien guest, giving the occasional bark to beg for more attention.
The Gojid guests seem calm for the most part, sitting on that couch, but it is quite clear that the dog makes them uncomfortable since they flinch every time Lacey either makes a noise or stares at them with those heterochromatic eyes. “Not a fan of dogs, are you?” My father breaks the silence once it starts up again.
“I didn’t like…” Pragh started but stopped seconds later. “Listen, I believe you know why most Federation species don’t like humans, right?” Pragh’s words earned an affirmative grunt from my father. My mother and I nodded too. “Well, you’re all sapient and in control of your hunting instincts…” I raised my eyebrow at that but chose to say nothing. “That dog though-”
My father raised a hand, telling Praph to stop speaking for a moment. “I am going to have to stop you right there. Firstly, humans don’t, or we believe don’t have hunting instincts, and secondly, Lacey is a good girl that has harmed no person before, human or alien. I can assure you, as well as Quilix, Trivi, and Tova, that Lacey wouldn’t harm any of you, your pups, or anything else you will be worried about.”
Those few calmly spoken, but sternly voiced words are enough to calm the four Gojid down a fair amount. While I can’t see their muscles under their fur all that well, I can safely assume that their muscles grew lax at such information. Maybe we can do more to ease them around the dog while they’re here?
With an idea springing to mind, I take a few steps over to our old wooden hall tree. It is adorned with a few coats and hats, but what I am interested in is blue colored, six feet long rope of dog leash. The second it makes the lightest noise, Lacey is bolting toward me. “Eistedd!” The dog swiftly responds to the command: Hind quarters hitting the ground the second the word leaves my lips. I reach down and stroke the top of the dog’s head with one hand, getting a jovial arf out of her. “Merch dda, merch dda.~” I give the dog’s head a little bit more tender love with my palm and fingers before attaching the leash.
“Cefn.” I keep my voice low, coaxing Lacey into walking toward the couch.
The four Gojid, three of which have probably spent some time outside with the dog, all had a similar reaction when the dog came over: Paws came up off the ground, retracting safely onto the cushions above. It wasn’t really out of the border collie’s reach, but it was clearly instinctual-driven or propaganda-driven fear. “No need to be afraid, she won’t bite you - eistedd.” True to my words, Lacey gets close, sniffing along the edge of the sofa, but not jumping up onto the furniture.
“I see you’ve been practicing, Jaxton. You showing off for the guest?” My dad jokes.
“Hey, I don’t really get a good chance to speak Welsh. Dam- Darn it, really should’ve paid more attention in school. Might go get some lessons so I’m not part of the ten percent that can’t speak it. All I can do is shepherd a dog around, ask for the bathroom, a beer, where am I, and a few other things.” It’s hard not to let out a disappointed sigh. “I need to get off my backside and stop being so lazy.” I pause for one small moment. “And that probably translated for all of them to their native tongue. Doesn’t matter if I say it in English, Welsh, or honestly, Mandarin.”
My old man grins and laughs, leaning his back into the old rocking chair he claimed. My attention returns back to the dog, the fearful porcupine, and three scared hedgehogs.
The first one to reach out if I recall his name is Tack. The Gojid’s claws lightly brush the top of Lacey’s head in a tepid fashion. The dog stares back up at the curious paw; not growling, barking, yipping, biting, or making any sort of fuss that could freak out the apprehensive Gojid. Slowly, Lacey’s tail beings to wag as the curious touching continues for a few seconds. “Is that normal?”
“Mhm… Yes, dogs’ tails wag when they are happy. If she was really happy, she’d jump on you and start licking your face.”
The four Gojid recoiled with what looked like disgust: The thought of a predator’s maw all over their face, tasting them as if they were her next meal was probably what was coursing through their minds. “I think… That’s something I wouldn’t like from a non-sapient creature.” Telg adds in.
He says he doesn’t want it from a non-sapient, but what about a sapient? Oh, what wonderful thoughts this one has. I internally joked.
Both my father and mother let out an audible cough at Telg’s… Well, it could’ve been an indecent statement, or maybe licking was a sign of greeting? There was no way for me to know with my lack of knowledge of Gojid customs.
God damn; Gojid customs, language, body language, and Welsh! That was leaving out Venlil ear and tail signals as well! Too much to learn.
With a gentle nudge, I guide Lacey down the bottom of the couch, letting each Gojid get about a minute or two of bonding time with the goodest of girls. It’s only been a few minutes, but the four could be easily seen relaxing: Tack and Telg are both confident enough to let their paws touch the floor again.
From fearful of anything that ate meat their entire life to sort of fearfully allowing a dog to sniff them, or them to touch a dog, must be leaps and bounds beyond possibility months ago.
“So, you all more comfortable around dogs?”
I get a non-varied amount of reactions: All of them positive to a minor degree, but none are negative or super positive. “Good.”
With such a positive, or well, lacking in a negative reaction from our alien guests. I reach down and unhook the canine’s restraint. No one flinches and Lacey continues to sit for about another few seconds before lazily pacing around the front of the couch, sniffing at paws for some more time before retreating back beside my father’s feet.
“So… What’s the history between humans and dogs?” Pragh was the one that shot this question. One is no doubt born from the fact that we probably allowed a non-sapient predator into our home.
Well, if I was using their logic, of course: I wouldn’t be surprised if it came from ‘Wouldn’t predators eliminate the competition?’ if I had to guess.
“The history involving our canine companions is long and complex.” I reach behind my head to adust my blonde ponytail, tightening up the black band to keep my hair from falling in front of my face. “Most domesticated dogs you’ll see; German shepherds, border collies, Australian shepherds, golden retrievers, and on and on the list goes. I believe there are hundreds of breeds, but that is another tangent we can go on another date. What you’re more interested in is the history, as you have asked.”
I took a few steps around toward the front of the couch, using this new position to project my voice onto my alien audience. My parents had already heard this story a few times when they spoke with one of our dog breeders.
“It all started roughly speaking, thirty-thousand years ago.” I paused, totally for dramatic effect, but to also allow the Gojid to digest this fair-sized crumb of information. “Our competitor, an antagonizing species of persistent pack predators with a strong social bond, the wolf, would often invade human territories, and vice versa. You see, humans and wolves aren’t too dissimilar. We’re both highly social species, pursuit pack predators as I have heard, emotionally intelligent, highly adaptive, strong parental connections, and good communication skills. I can go into specific details another time, but those are some of the big traits we share. I’d say that the large preference for having a social structure coupled with good communication skills on both sides were the two assets that helped the most. Emotional intelligence and actual intelligence would probably be third and fourth. Dogs and wolves can be pretty smart.”
I take a moment again, allowing my audience to follow along with what I am saying, waiting to see if any of them have a question. “So due to these similarities, humans and these wolves cross species’ barriers?” The bipedal porcupine opined.
I nod to Barlim’s question. “Very close, but not quite.” I take a moment to swing a pointing finger down to Lacey. “I mean, as much as I love Lacey. I don’t see a dog diplomat coming through any time soon to argue for their sapience let alone an alliance.” I then straighten my posture back up, holding back a small laugh by letting a grin stretch across my lips. “It was more along the lines of wolves were desperate for food, and they’d feed off the scraps we humans left behind. This would go on for some time with the braver or more docile canines being allowed to slowly integrate with human society.”
“But they’re eating your scraps and food, but what do they do for you? Other than herd sheep? It just seems like your competition is swooping your food from under your nose, but… You’re not complaining at all.” Pragh was the one to ask that question.
Called it!
“These proto-dogs had many purposes! Just look at Lacey and you can probably see what she has that is superior to a human. Tell me what traits you can see.”
I give the four Gojid some time to look over the dog. They eventually look like they all have something to say, so I slide down the line of them; Pragh, Telg, Tack, and then finally Barlim.
“A better sense of smell to hunt for prey you can’t see?” Pragh opined.“Better hearing for locating threats?” Telg questioned.
“Sharp teeth and claws for fighting off other humans.” Tack would state rather confidently.
“To form an emotional connection with and to not feel lonely?” Barlim tilted her head to the side, giving the dog another look.
I let them stew over their answers for about thirty seconds to discuss amongst themselves. Needless to say, I was kind of shocked, but also not by Barlim’s answer. Maybe my time spent with her gave me some subconscious understanding of her mentality? The other Gojid all looked at her, so I assume her different answer probably made something click amongst all of them.
“Well, to answer your questions; yes, yes, yes, and yes. You’re all correct. Some may say that the first three are probably the priority.” This statement earns a chitter from the four Gojid occupying the couch. “But I like to have hope for that last one: When you’re by yourself. The world is a scary place after all. It’s best not to be alone. I believe you all have herds? Well, we humans have families, tribes, or nations, depending on how deep you wish to look into it, and yes, dogs can be a part of a human family. Family cares not from where the blood comes.”
“Quick question and not to side-track the conversation too far, but I was told by my date that humans dislike being called predators. Is that true here too, or was that a dialect or cultural thing?” Telg was the one throwing this question.
“It is that way here too. When humans refer to other humans as predators, it is because that other human is a gross pervert that does horrific, deviant, and sexual things toward other people, animals, or in this case now that aliens exist, aliens, so I would refrain from calling humans predators unless you personally know the individual and they are ok with it. That being said, humans define predator as more of a relationship adjective when between animals. A deer is a predator to plants as a wolf is a predator to a deer. It is the relationship of consumption rather than dietary traits.” I finish off my statement with a nod.
“Well… If you don’t mind me referring you to as a predator for one statement…” Telg droned on.
I take a brief glance over toward my parents. My dad gives me a nonchalant shrug. My gaze returns back to Telg. “Go ahead and shoot your question or statement at me.”
The four Gojid look stunned for a moment, off-put by something I said-
Oh, don’t tell me ‘shoot’ was predatory… Probably was.
“Just… throw out your question.”
“It was more of a statement, actually, but anyways. Family cares not from where the blood comes, has to be one of the most herd-like statement I have heard from a predator.”
Did he really just say that?
He really did, but I can’t fault him. From his point of view, he’s been spun so many times that up is down, and left is right.
I shake my head, lowering it. A small chuckle slipping from between my lips. I could even hear my mother and father laughing behind me a few seconds later.
“Was what I said really that funny?”
“No, just the logic behind it is kinda funny. Like I said, humans don’t normally refer to ourselves as predators, and this whole alien thing is kind of new to me.” My words carried upon by a light tone earns some laughs as well from our Gojid guests.
I clap my hands together, signaling the end of our little tangent. “Now, if I may resume my, if I do say so myself, informative explanation… The proto-dogs seamlessly integrated into our small tribes at the time; they could track threats and prey miles before we were even aware of them, they could hear the smallest sounds and alert us of their dangers. Moreover, their sharp teeth and claws served as deterrents against other threats such as large carnivores, food-stealing rodents, or hostile human forces. Additionally, their companionship provided solace to lonely humans. As you can see,” I pointed back to Lacey, who was having her back rubbed by my father’s sock-covered foot, “Lacey seems to be enjoying herself quite nicely, but so is my father. In short, interacting with dogs triggers the release of feel-good chemicals in both human and canine brains. Activities such as petting, snuggling, and playing contribute to this positive bond."
Again, I pause, giving everyone some time to follow along. “Thus, they’d impact our evolution and vice versa: Humans that had dogs in their tribes were more successful than tribes without dogs. Humans that bonded more effectively with their canine companions would get even farther. As millennia went by, humans would get better at reading dog expressions, and dogs would get better at reading human expressions.”
I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone. I typed into it for a bit until an old photo of a wolf showed up. I turned my phone’s screen toward the four Gojid. “Here you can see a wolf. They aren’t extinct due to some wildlife restoration efforts, but we had a few close calls. Wolves are extinct in the UK and Ireland as of now, but not in North America, Europe, or Asia. What you see before you are what thirty-thousand years of evolution has done to us.”
Based on the look that the Gojid were giving me. I would guess it was along the lines of wow.
“Now, before you start asking more questions. I should let you know that humanity has not only domesticated one carnivorous species, but a few others as well; some birds of prey like falcons, felines, and mustelidae such as ferrets. Meanwhile, on the herbivorous side, we have horses, elephants, rabbits, and so on. Yeah, it’s quite a long list. Means more animals for us to pet and touch. Humans can bond with just about anything, even non-living things, but that’s a story for another time.”.
I perform a small stretch, feeling my back pop. A small break in the monotony of speaking for so long.
“Now, to go back to the human-dog bond. I should remind myself to tell you the story of Gelert. It’s quite a sad story, but bear with me for just a moment.”
I clear my throat, getting ready to speak out an old Welsh folklore myth.
“A long time ago, a prince of North Wales by the name of Llywelyn went out hunting without his trusty dog, Gelert. He’d return home later that day to see Gelert, covered in blood, jovially returning to him. This freaked out the prince, who rushed to his son’s crib, finding it knocked over and messy with blood. He feared that the dog had killed his son and immediately plunged his sword into the dog’s side.” The four Gojid wince at the description, having just been told of the forged bond I have described moments ago. “The dog’s pained cry heralds the cry of the prince’s infant son, who lay on the other side, protected from a slain wolf. Gelert had valiant fought to protect Llywelyn’s son from the wolf, and in so was rewarded with a blade through its heart! A tragic tale to discourage impulsive thoughts and rash rushes to judgment. It was said that the prince buried Gelert and never smiled again.”
I never considered myself a great storyteller, but somehow I managed to get the four Gojid all teary-eyed. Barlim was rubbing at her eyes once again, and so was Tack too.
“H-how could he have done that to the dog..?” Barlim’s meek voice trailed off.
“Well, as said, Llywelyn thought Gelert killed his son. It was a rash decision. This moral folklore is supposed to warn against such tragedies, speaking of which, isn’t there an extermination fleet heading this way?”
While I may have been speaking for so long, having taken all our attention away from the potential destruction of Earth, or the general mopey attitude that came from meeting Tova. It probably was wise to bring up the fact that armageddon was on its way to Earth.
The four Gojid just sort of looked down sheepishly at the ground or flicked their ears in a way that probably meant the same thing. I didn’t really mean to put them on the spot like that, considering it was some of their former allies committing this attack, but I guess that’s just how the cookie crumbles sometimes.
“I think I can speak for all of us here that we don’t-” Telg was interrupted by my father.
“We don’t blame you, or at least I can attest to myself, my son, and my wife over here. One day, assuming we survive this looming catastrophe. There will be regret, followed by hope, and then love and compassion once again. Though, I don’t think that’s what my son was hinting toward, more over the fact that your allies are about to make a rash decision they don’t understand. Probably one you would have made years ago, but that doesn’t really matter here, or there. We live in the now, and I think it’s time we started stocking up on some goods for our cellar. Well, we got goods actually, and a couple of guns too, but nothing fancy like the Americans and all their machine guns. A .30-30 lever action, an old .44 revolver, a twelve gauge shotgun, and a .22 hunting rifle. Nothing fancy,” he shrugs and grunts. “I’m more worried about my sheep. The best we can do is pray they don’t shoot the barn.”
There’s a brief silence as the seven of us come down from the long monologue that was dispersed between moments of questionnaires. I rub one of my eyes, stretching my jaw open wide in a hand-covered yawn.
How long have by been talking?
“Sprak! I gotta go or I am going to miss my flight!” Telg clamors, quickly hopping off the couch. He quickly taps at his phone with his claws, making his way toward the front door. “See you guys later, and thanks for letting us stay! Yes, I know how to call a taxi!” He opens the door and bolts outside. At least had the manners to close it back without slamming it.
This left us with three Gojid!
“Well,” my mother stood up from her chair. “I’m certain you’re all hungry after such a long adventure, and Telg is probably too, but he’s gone already. Let me see if I can make you all something to eat…” She hesitates for a second before continuing. “Nothing with meat or animal products in it. Just vegetables and fruit,” she iterates before walking off to the kitchen, leaving my father and I with the three Gojid.
You know, that leaves one important question that’s been on my mind. One that I had asked Barlim, but have been quickly distracted by her onslaught of sudden tears due to my forgetful nature. “A quick question if I may have your attention.”
The three Gojid turned their attention toward me, looking at me as they awaited my question
“How the hell did you all get here?”
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Tldr: This got a lot longer than I intended. A lot to catch up on! The first part is about where we were. The second is what we are doing to fix it. We organically folded into a holistic method of dealing with clutter and made a lot of important connections while doing it. The kitchen experience has been, by far, the best and most healthy decision we have made.
It's been a while since I have participated here. Some pretty sad things happened and I had not made much progress. I've never been good at sharing when I am being a fuck up or asking for help. I wasted away my entire winter and now warmer weather is rolling in, which is going to prevent me from working in the garage until this coming winter.
Its not all bad, though. I managed to avoid backsliding and engaging old coping mechanisms that compound the hoarding situation. I managed to hold the house together during a time of grief and while it wasn't ideal, it's about a lifestyle, not a meal. Right? It's not that I haven't felt any guilt over not moving forward. I definitely have. It just hasn't been a particularly helpful or motivating feeling.
Depression and grief wreck everything, though. While that part of my life held the line, I still have a drinking problem and I don't really eat my feelings, but I do care less about my body, in general. I quit being active and let my diet slip enough to gain thirty pounds of organ strangling fat, caused by pouring 2-5 beers on top of 3-6 shots of booze every night. Then day drinking on the weekends. I have never been a day drinker. I've always been a functional alcoholic - meaning I can abstain, but when I start, I dont stop until it is all gone and most of the time I want more. The majority of my life, I would probably drink once every few months. The drinking every day is relatively recent. I know this isn't AA, but I will get to how it's related.
About a month ago, I woke up and thought, living like this is going to kill me. What if something happens to my partner? Because he is right there with me. Along with the unhealthy choices and their consequences, I was not sleeping well. That hard, visceral fat makes it incredibly difficult to breath and get comfortable. That's on top of serious health problems I already have. Six months of this and something had to give.
We woke up and started searching for a healthy eating challenge. You know the whole ADHD thing and turning things into a game usually yields some type of immediate success. We made a grocery list and cleaned out the fridge. We took three garbage bags of expired food out of the fridge. I'm not a food hoarder, even. I could give a shit about anything in there. We've both just been too depressed to worry about cleaning out the fridge - for six months. He went to the store. I did a deep clean on the fridge, which was nearly empty. We unpacked the groceries together, and let me tell you. I was super giddy over seeing all the fresh produce and how clean and organized the fridge was. I opened the fridge a few times, just to look at it, it was such a beautiful thing.
We have carried on this schedule for a month. Wake up on the weekend, meal plan for the week and make a grocery list. He goes to the store, I clean out and wipe down the fridge, check the pantry, and print any recipes we need for the week or grab them from our binder, and put them on a clipboard that hangs on the kitchen wall. Only recipes we love go in that binder. Life is too short to eat mediocre food. If we don't love it, the recipe goes in the trash.
The first week, I started meal prep, which is something I have never done before. Like having smoothies for breakfast - buying just enough bananas for a week, cutting them up, splitting into servings and freezing means zero bananas go in the trash. I haven't thought about making banana bread, that I am obviously not going to make, all month. I also spent enough present and sober time to notice the walls were getting a little dusty and grimy, so I washed most of those. The one left requires moving furniture, so it had to wait.
During the second week, I did some more meal prep and did a cursory clean out of the pantry, checking dates and organizing where everything could be easily accessed and seen. That was another trash bag of expired food out the door.
I used to get so angry because I would spend a week cleaning and organizing the kitchen. He would just stuff things in there, not paying attention to how things were organized. Yesterday I opened one of the cabinets and it struck me. Seeing the contrast between the pantry and fridge and these cabinets, I don't think any of those spaces have ever been organized in a way that makes much sense. We don't have upper cabinets, but instead two six foot tall floor cabinets. One cabinet has been things we use often and the other things we use less. Kind of. Then two cardboard boxes of plastic. God knows what. Then we have a lower cabinet, with random shit shoved in there.
I spent the day reorganizing and keep in mind, I've been through all this stuff at least once in the past two years. Barely anything in the cardboard boxes has been used. Lots of tupperware from the 90s. Lids with no bowls. Stained bowls with no lids. Don't ask me why I didn't toss these last time, because they were gross looking, even when clean. All of that went away and there are no longer two cardboard boxes stuffed in my cabinet. Two trash bags and a box of (recyclable) plastic later and you can see and access everything easily and like items are together. Everything has a place and it's evident where everything goes.
So . . . Now there is no more cabinet, fridge, or pantry Jenga. It's more pleasant to cook in there, easier to clean the fridge, easier to put the dishes away. With food being such an integral part of living, it just makes life easier. I hate to admit it, but for the first time in my life, I understand why having highly organized cabinets matters. And for the first time in a long time, I am not just ready to get rid of things. I feel like going through this process is gently rewiring my brain to think about objects and space a lot differently. I felt nothing but excitement over the prospect of an organized space, as I was tossing all that plastic in the bags. I've been motivated sans the period of depression. I've never been this motivated. I have been aware for a while that I wasn't going to organize my way out of the garage hoard or the house clutter. I believe cleaning out a space, where the objects inside were meaningless to me and seeing just how much of a difference it made has highlighted how much I need to get rid of if I want the rest of my life to be as beautiful as my refrigerator.
Health wise, we quit drinking beer and went from six shots a night to four. We are cutting back as we lose weight. We no longer buy booze for Sunday. We chill and have a few glasses of wine. Cleaning and organizing, I am on my feet more and getting more activity. I'm eating a Mediterranean diet and three meals instead of two. I weighed in this morning and I have lost a total of 12 lbs in a month. I still have another 18 to get to my weight before the depression and another 20 for a healthy weight. My body is squishy again, which is better. I sleep better. I have more energy, which feeds into being able to do more work around the house. I feel better mentally and physically.
So, yeah. I missed out on garage season. It's house season, though and I have a very productive Summer ahead. It's amazing what focusing on my nutrition has done for us. That's not in the general sense that just eating better will fix your mental illness or disorder. But focusing on the entire experience of nourishment and making it easier and more pleasant to cook healthy meals. Bonus points are that we are having fun cooking together and actually saving money by not overbuying and doing a little meal prep. That also resulted in a very insignificant amount of waste over the past month.
Over the Summer, I hope to add a kitchen island for more counter space, give the cabinets a fresh coat of paint, get the brand new dishwasher hooked up, and continue to make my kitchen a pleasant place to spend time.
Anyway . . .
If you made it this far, thanks for joining me on this journey. I know it was a novel. I appreciate you!

Author's Note: Trigger warning. Depictions of self harm, suicide, violence and neglect towards children depicted throughout.
Kids In Ski Masks (Home By Eight)
God damn it Meghan, late by ten, Don't make me fuckin' nag again.
The drugs won't drown out your misery, It's just a prescription conscription consiracy.
Youthful rage, Is the way the cool kids act at your age.
Janie's a freak, Because she fell in love and gave her boyfriend a pre-marital peek.
They got her picture up on the bathroom stall, With a number, saying where to call.
Underage sex and pregnancy, What's next for you is stagnancy.
The hormones and the puberty, But you're still just an ignorant squirt to me.
Your vegetables will save you from the rot, Then society intends to ring you, for all that you've got.
Learn to be something that you are not, Accept that you must do as you are taught, your future is already bought.
Anorexia or dyslexia, All you brats are just a little bit extra.
Timmy is just a little bit dim, but we haven't given up on him, We might be able to salvage this if we push his anxiety to the brim.
Suzy is a little too obsessed with the mobsters and the uzi, If she isn't cut off, it could lead to another doozy.
It used to be firecrackers in the halls, Now it's opened fire and cracks over 911 calls.
Little Jill, buried beneath the willow on the hill, Her pictures won't age, up on the windowsill.
Who knew that kids can understand suicide, Who knew the pressures of life can leave them nowhere to hide.
Pushed to swing from a rope, Children shouldn't know how it feels to abandon hope.
So, please just be home by eight, We get nervous if you are out too late.
We don't know who is teaching you how to hate, When it comes to teenager's, what is a life's going rate?
Held up outside the grocery store, The clerk cut and screaming on the floor, and you thought they were just going to hold the door.
It's not so easy to act snide, When they rip open your driver side and steal your ride.
After all, we raised the kids of today, And at some point, there is a debt to pay.
Ski masks and a stolen blade, They're in such a rush for their own innocence to fade.
Mommy is piss drunk and passed out on the couch, And somewhere in your developing mind, you've already figured out that she is just a slouch.
The man of the house is out fucking his mistress, Because his spawn was always so easy to dismiss.
But, Daddy forgot to set the lock, which concealed his glock, And Zack will make sure we all learn that truth at the chiming of the clock.
Because, at twelve he believes that he can't forget, And lying in a pool of his own blood is as close as he can get.
Going on thirteen and taught to use an opiod pen, Have we calculated yet, when they will get to be naïve again?
The kids aren't kids anymore, They are just new pawns for your never ending war.
They can't learn how to spell, Before they are taught which opinions will get them sent straight to hell.
A generation raised without peace of mind, Keep up with the latest outrage or be left behind.
We have faith in you, So we will be monitoring every little thing that you do.
And you are doing your part, So long as you aren't falling apart, and working on becoming a sterile little piece of art.
Curtis is just the worst, The adults in the room tried to control him every time that he cursed.
A dollar in the jar, A spanking behind his parent's car.
The lesson was worth the scar, And some day, he will show it off, while drunk at the bar.
They say it's a cycle, Lather, rinse and recycle.
And we turned out just fine, Living in a society where we have to tip toe around every landmine.
Every phrase is a trigger, And the taboos are just getting bigger.
And crushing down on them, Damaging the plant at the stem.
Before they can flower, They are molded, shaped and condemned by those who are in power.
It has always worked before, So leave your doubts at the door.
Make sure to tip the kid working the table, Don't wonder if their home life is stable.
Don't worry yourself about the screams in their head, Just tuck them into bed.
The arrogance and the contempt, To think that we will be exempt.
The worst is yet to come, The monster always comes back to where they are from.
But, society refuses to believe that monsters are created, Their urges just need to be sedated.
https://www.reddit.com/OCPoetry/comments/141xw8h/decided_to_write_a_short_poem_while_overthinking/jn3weru?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
https://www.reddit.com/OCPoetry/comments/141xr9x/20something/jn3wp21?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

So, a few weeks ago I made a new device from two part molding silicone. I've been able to wear it all day and night because it is pee through. I have now had a milestone with it yesterday. I had a doctor's appointment so my best buddy got tucked in to my underwear without a device. I had to pee at urinals all day. For the first time ever, I was able to pee every time in a stream without pulling my foreskin back and without spraying all over my pants. wOOt! That's definitely progress!

I’ve devote fifteen years of my life to single focused career. Now besotted and in love with my almost 1 yo.
I carry significant shame that I don’t know how to cook or make anything other than the simplest meals for my child. She won’t starve but she’s not getting the breadth of food exposures.
I’ve been feeling a bit flat and disappointed in myself that I haven’t just become Susie home maker.
My mum didn’t have a mum so she did the best she could but I think the lack of role model also didn’t help.
To give you an idea of the depths of depravity we have in my house - my husband and I have probably done bean nachos and pesto pasta for 80% of our meals in fifteen years together.
Can anyone share resources for how to learn tips or tricks? Or even just good big batch meals I could make? Perhaps even the ultimate cookie recipe.
My goal would be to able to have 7 days worth of dinner meals I felt confident in cooking that will be nourishing to my family.
I’m going to work on forgiveness to myself for not leaning in when I’ve had people in my life who knew these things…

I honestly love it! They nailed everything this time.
The design is absolutely perfect and suitable for any wrist. The gameplay looks incredible, and the personalities are amazing, with a variety of love or dislike items that you can use to decorate your house. The crafting and material gathering mechanics, along with recipe sharing, seem engaging, and you can even collect items by taking walks. The Tama verse for travelling looks soooo good.
The new roster is incredibly solid, and I have no doubt that this time we'll receive DLCs via Wi-Fi. It's fantastic that they're finally giving us a global release after almost 30 years. I'm impressed with their decision to involve influencers in the marketing campaign; it shows a strong design choice and demonstrates that they're targeting a wider audience. Kudos to Bandai's marketing team for that!
I haven't come across any concrete information regarding a mobile app, what are your thoughts on that? Perhaps the DLCs will be available there?
My only concern lies with the colour options for the shell. They seem a bit girly. I hope the pink one will look better with either a black or white stripe, as that would help balance out the pink tones.
​
Overall, I'm absolutely thrilled about this new Tama. The possibilities seem endless, the gameplay is fantastic, and the animations are truly amazing! What are your thoughts on it?

I work at Waffle House with my vegan partner of 1 year. Even though we’re both servers we’re expected to cook for ourselves. Since they’re vegan, they can’t have most Waffle House foods, and that list of untouchables includes our grits, which have a stick of butter added per batch. I tried to warn them when they asked me to get them a bowl of grits (which is pre-made as a large batch, I cannot alter the recipe) and they didn’t listen, falsely assuming it was made with oil. Over the month they’ve been eating the grits come to love the them, especially mixed with hashbrowns and their favourite hashbrown toppings. I don’t have the heart to tell them that it’s not vegan. Usually dairy makes them really sick, but they’ve had no adverse reaction. Reddit, what do I do?