Danny don lsu

No one can ever predict a Bill Belichick draft.
When people start assuming he’ll act based on his stereotypes (first-round trade down, OL early, no early WRs, all Alabama players or small school guys or guys from Rutgers), he’ll do the opposite. When the consensus is that he’ll shift away from those stereotypes, he’ll lean right into them.
So in observing mock drafts, both full and team-centric, there was a lot of accord that he would follow those stereotypes. (Adam Korsak, both a punter and from Rutgers, was EVERYWHERE.)
But then the end of April came.
Before then, New England had suffered a 2022 season full of embarrassment, from Matt Patricia and Joe Judge’s ineptitude at running the offense to a team that seemed to find new ways to lose in humiliating fashion (a certain ill-fated lateral sequence peak among them). The Patriots went from their dynastic reign as a team which would trounce their opponents in laughers to the team that everyone pointed and laughed at. Mac Jones’ Patricia- and Judge-sparked regression along with impressive cameo appearances by ‘22 rookie Bailey Zappe split the fanbase into Mac and Zappe camps, with sports media fueling the flame by spreading or outright fabricating rumors of Belichick shopping Mac, rumors which lasted through the first day of the draft. It was an ugly season and an uglier start to the offseason.
The franchise clearly needed to make changes in 2023, and changes started near the top. Patricia and Judge lost their roles, the former joining the Eagles coaching staff and the latter moving to lead special teams, a necessary move as this Belichick-led squad had plummeted to the lowest-ranked third unit. (More on that later.) Patricia had filled the dual roles of de facto offensive coordinator and facto offensive line coach, and filled both roles with the acumen of me designing plays in Backyard Football 2002, except I could actually design plays that resulted in touchdowns. Judge had manned the quarterbacks room, and given that Daniel Jones finally broke out for the Giants once Judge had been booted from mentoring him, you can guess how that went for Mac and the Pats. In his new role in charge of special teams, he has already cost the team two OTAs and Bill Belichick $50,000 for an offseason meetings violation, and has elevated his 2022 title of Co-Most Hated Man in Foxboro to Single Most Hated Man in Foxboro.
Anyway, New England needed to fill their old roles, and brought in:
Bill O’Brien, Offensive Coordinator / Quarterbacks Coach A long-time friend of Belichick’s, O’Brien returns for his second stint as Pats OC, having dictated the offense in Rob Gronkowski’s record-setting 2011 season. Additionally, O’Brien comes by way of running the offense and the QB room at the University of Alabama, which spawned Mac Jones. Mac regressed in 2022 after an impressive 2021, but recall that 2022 was under the abysmal leadership of Patricia (calling his plays) and Judge (his direct coach), a situation in which no one could develop. By bringing in his old OC and QB coach, Mac has been put in the best possible position to develop in ‘23, a position which will much more clearly give fans a vision of his future as an NFL quarterback. (And the playcalling will be legitimate! It’s been but a year and we have already forgotten what creativity, route concepts, and misdirection have looked like!)
Adrian Klemm, Offensive Line Coach Belichick’s first draft pick after taking the helm in New England in 2000, Klemm has joined the team after coaching at Oregon last year. He comes with a strong reputation at that coaching position, having headed a Ducks O-line that allowed just five sacks in 2022. Last season, the Patriots saw a regression from their veterans on the line, most notably in Trent Brown’s newfound flag-happiness, and first-round rookie guard Cole Strange put forth a mixed performance. Bringing in an actual offensive line coach gives the team the best chance to fix any issues that showed in ‘22 and to develop their young linemen.
Of course, coaching was not the only issue last season, as New England was criticized for their lack of talent on the roster. Of New England’s high-cash free agent class of 2021, only edge rusher Matthew Judon shined in both his seasons in Foxboro: neither tight end Jonnu Smith nor wideout Nelson Agholor ever got off the ground, tight end Hunter Henry regressed after a solid ‘21, and wideout Kendrick Bourne found himself suddenly in Patricia’s doghouse and off the field. Moves needed to be made as the calendar turned to free agency.
Notable Departures
S Devin McCourty (retired) The most prominent departure from the ‘22 squad, McCourty is one of many who can be termed a quintessential Patriot. A first-round cornerback out of Rutgers in 2010, D-Mac made the switch to safety in 2012 and locked down the position for the next decade. When he was on the verge of leaving the team in free agency in 2015, even reaching out to Belichick to say goodbye, Belichick signed him to a top-valued safety contract and kept him in red, white, and blue. His leadership and personality made him a joy to watch on the field and off, his personality showing itself especially well recently through interactions with his twin brother Jason, who played alongside him for the Patriots from 2018 to ‘20. Statistically, D-Mac ends his career with 35 interceptions, one shy of the franchise record, and 4 touchdowns (two picks, a kickoff return, and a blocked field goal return). We miss him already.
P Jake Bailey (released; signed with Miami) What a drop. After an All-Pro season in 2020, Bailey signed a four-year extension in 2022 only to become the worst statistical punter in the league. After he was injured, the Patriots brought in Michael Palardy, who managed to be even worse (personally, I blame the team’s curse that comes with the jersey number 17). Neither punter remains with the team, Bailey joining an AFC East rival in the Dolphins and Palardy currently unsigned.
TE Jonnu Smith (traded to Atlanta) There is a strong case to be made that Smith is the worst free agency signing Belichick has made as Pats GM. In the two years since inking a 4-year, $50 million deal, Smith totaled just 55 catches for 539 yards and one touchdown, and a ‘22 restructure of his contract meant that Smith appeared to be a monetary albatross the Patriots would not be able to shake loose. What led to Atlanta agreeing to take on his whole contract, sending New England a seventh-round pick to get the player, I have no idea, but I think every Pats fan would agree that Smith didn’t work out in the least and a change was best for all sides.
WR Jakobi Meyers (signed with Las Vegas) Meyers’ departure was somewhat shocking, as the 2019 UDFA had worked his way up to the top of the Patriots’ wide receiver depth chart. More of a big slot guy than an outside #1, Meyers had a minor role in his rookie season and started 2020 at the bottom of the depth chart, but injuries to the players above him got him onto the field, and a 12-catch, 169-yard performance against the Jets that November meant he wasn’t leaving it anytime soon. While not possessing top-tier speed or explosiveness, Meyers was the team’s best route runner and separator, and his departure left another void that needed to be filled.
QB Brian Hoyer (released, signed with Las Vegas) Hoyer was third on the depth chart, Zappe having shown enough to take the #2 spot. While a fine veteran mentor, the Patriots chose to go a different direction with that third QB role.
WR Nelson Agholor (signed with Baltimore) Agholor was given a two-year contract in 2021 with the anticipation of his being the #1 receiver, something which did not happen due to his unreliable hands and separation abilities. For those two years and $22 million, Agholor produced 68 catches, 835 yards, and five touchdowns. Not worth it.
RB Damien Harris (signed with Buffalo) By far the most productive member of the Patriots’ atrocious 2019 draft class, Harris was good in New England but had been passed on the depth chart by sophomore Rhamondre Stevenson midway through 2022. Couple that with Belichick’s predilection to let running backs walk instead of giving them second contracts, sprinkle in a dash of two ‘22 draft picks (Pierre Strong Jr. and Kevin Harris) who will get more opportunities in 2023, top it off with the return of Ty Montgomery II from injured reserve, and it’s no surprise that Harris is no longer a Patriot.
T Isaiah Wynn (signed with Miami) Another former first-round pick, Wynn was all right as a left tackle though was criticized for frequent injury problems; with his fifth-year option picked up for ‘22, he was inexplicably switched to right tackle, where he was very bad. He never really earned the role of franchise tackle, so it was expected that the Patriots would let him walk.
But on the upside, the team now has:
Additions
WR JuJu Smith-Schuster (via Kansas City) After Meyers signed with the Raiders, the Patriots worked quickly to bring in his replacement in the slot. Smith-Schuster revived his career in Kansas City and is now in position to be a primary target for Mac for the next three seasons, possessing more explosiveness and speed than his predecessor. The biggest concern with JuJu is his durability, but I believe the Patriots have made preparations in the draft (spoiler) in case that becomes a significant problem. The fanbase is excited for Smith-Schuster on the field in Foxboro, and deservedly so.
RB James Robinson (via New York (the green side)) A one-time breakout UDFA in Jacksonville, Robinson’s role diminished with the rise of Travis Etienne Jr.; after being traded to the Jets, Robinson never got settled into a role. In New England, Robinson is likely first in line for the #2 RB spot behind Stevenson, an important role given that Stevenson’s overwork saw his productivity decline as last season came to an end. Robinson also possesses the pass-catching versatility that Belichick loves, a role Harris was never used in but Stevenson is, further suggesting he can have a significant spot on the field for the Pats.
TE Mike Gesicki (via Miami) As Smith never worked out as the co-#1 TE, here comes Gesicki. A pure pass catcher at the position, Gesicki has the size and hands to be a reliable target in the red zone, and should pair nicely with Henry for a potential TE-heavy formation as the team approaches the goal line.
T Riley Reiff (via Chicago) T Calvin Anderson (via Denver) While neither comes with the contract expectation of being a long-term solution at either tackle spot, the hope is that Reiff (expected to start at RT) will be an upgrade over Wynn, while Anderson serves as a reliable swing tackle who can start if needed.
LB Chris Board Jr. (via Detroit) Remember that awful special teams unit? Board is one of the NFL’s top special teamers, a player Belichick singled out when New England faced the Lions last year. It’s unsurprising he brought in such a veteran to help solidify the unit after… just all of last year.
QB Trace McSorley (via Arizona) By bringing in McSorley in Hoyer’s stead, the team is showing a bit of a shift in philosophy with how it is using its backup QB spots. Both Mac and Zappe are pocket passers; McSorley does most of his work outside the pocket and can run with regularity, a trend more common among top-level quarterbacks like Patrick Mahomes and Josh Allen. At minimum, he’s worth a camp spot, and that’s fine.
P Corliss Waitman (via Denver) Following the implosion of Bailey and Palardy at punter, the Patriots were on the verge of entering the draft with none on the roster. Waitman is a veteran addition there, but pretty much everyone expected New England to add a punter either as a draft pick or UDFA. (Another spoiler – my bad.)
After this free agency, many saw the Patriots as still having holes at the top of their depth chart at wideout, tackle, and cornerback. Tight end was also considered a need as New England, despite adding Gesicki to pair with Henry, does not have a tight end signed beyond 2023, entering the draft with only Matt Sokol and Scotty Washington behind their name duo.
Then they went on the clock, entering the draft with:
1-14 2-46 3-76 4-107 4-117 4-135 6-184 6-187 6-192 6-210 7-245
Here’s how it all went down.
Draft Picks
TRADE: 1-14 to PIT for 1-17 and 4-120 Although this trade was criticized for receiving too little back from Pittsburgh, it was not a major loss in capital according to the Rich Hill value chart (325 points to PIT, 320 to NE), and it came with enough high-level talent on the board that the Patriots were sure to get one of their targets. The way the board fell, fans most wanted Christian Gonzalez, Jaxon Smith-Njigba, Zay Flowers, or Broderick Jones; when the Steelers took Jones, it became clear that the Patriots were not interested in him (reports came out that the Patriots had not been interested in Jones at all due to coachability concerns), but they were sure to land an exciting player after moving down only three spots rather than the seven-plus many mockers had predicted. Additionally, the Steelers landing Jones appeared to knock the Jets’ war room for a loop (though later video has shown that the Jets were expecting the trade), and the only thing New England fans love more than a victory is an opportunity to screw over the Jets.
1-17: Christian Gonzalez, CB, Oregon The Patriots’ selection of Gonzalez received universal acclaim, and it’s easy to see why. Despite having strong CB depth, the Patriots lacked a true #1 corner; Gonzalez has the ability, length, and athleticism to be that from Day One. The first-round pick via Colorado and Oregon was widely projected as a top-10 selection, so for New England to land him at 17 is a tremendous coup. From his interviews and his play style, Gonzalez seems like a quiet guy off the field who wants to shut the opponent down when on the turf. He’ll be fun to watch.
2-46: Keion White, ED, Georgia Tech White is another player falling under the new Patriots draft umbrella under Belichick and Matt Groh: as athletic as can be. While he is raw, White has the athleticism to play three downs along the defensive line and the versatility to move inside when the situation calls for it. The Patriots thought so highly of him that he was a player they were considering drafting in the first round, even considering a move back into the last picks of the round to snag him, but landed him at 46 anyway. How much he will play as a rookie is uncertain as New England has a very good edge duo in Matthew Judon and Josh Uche, but even if White has to take a year to get acclimated to the NFL, that’s not unheard of in Foxboro and has produced success for highly-touted picks: neither Nate Solder (first round) nor Trey Flowers (fourth round) took on long-term starting roles as rookies (though Solder filled in at right tackle plenty), but were established starters in their second years. Similarly, Uche (second round) started off as an occasionally-used part of a pass rushing rotation before hitting double-digit sacks last year, his third season in the league. And if White earns significant playing time in 2023, all the better.
3-76: Marte Mapu, LB, Sacramento State* Here’s that small-school selection that detractors tend to point at regarding Belichick, but Mapu has elite potential. I got tipped off to Mapu late in the pre-draft cycle, and watching film of him I was reminded a lot of Kyle Dugger, another small-school Day 2 player who has turned into an excellent Patriot. Mapu is going to play linebacker, likely his best position, and fill the role of coverage ‘backer that New England has lacked for several seasons. He’s also athletic and scheme-versatile, having spent time at safety and linebacker while at Sacramento State, so he will be able to move around the defensive formation if the situation calls for it. Add to that his tackling, his closing speed, and his containment, and you’ve got yourself a potential stud.
4-107: Jake Andrews, C, Troy The Patriots need their future long-term center with David Andrews now 31 and having an injury history, and Jake Andrews (unrelated) is set up perfectly to be that guy. Andrews the Younger is built in the same mold as Andrews the Elder: both exited college as smaller in stature than other centers but able to get a push on defensive linemen from below, meaning Jake can easily learn specific bits of technique from David. While not expected to play the role immediately, [anagram: Ned Was a Jerk] is now in position to spend time behind [anagram: Swan Diver Dad], preparing himself to take over at center in the near future.
TRADE: 4-120 and 6-184 to NYJ for 4-112 4-112: Chad Ryland, K, Maryland This is not the first time Belichick has selected a kicker in the fourth round, selecting Stephen Gostkowski with pick 118 in 2006; with the Patriots in desperate need for a strong player at the position, moving up to make sure they could land him makes sense (especially with Jake Moody being selected by the 49ers at 3-99). And Ryland is what Nick Folk is not: a big-legged kicker with kickoff ability. Folk has been appreciated in New England for his accuracy, but his distance and accuracy notably declined in 2022, and when forced to kick off, his lack of touchback distance led to trouble, the Patriots surrendering a league-high three kick return touchdowns (including two in the season finale). It’s clear an upgrade at kicker was a requirement this offseason; with Moody gone, giving up a sixth to move up eight spots is absolutely fine. In doing so, New England has hopefully landed their kicker for the next decade.
4-117: Sidy Sow, G, Eastern Michigan At this point, it may be considered confusing for the Patriots to have drafted a left guard in Sow when last year’s first-round pick Cole Strange is entrenched there and Mike Onwenu mans right guard at an elite level, but Groh’s post-draft comments indicated the team would give Sow opportunities at left tackle as well. And not only does Sow have experience at left tackle, he has the size at 6’5” and 326 pounds. New England’s projected starting tackles are veterans Trent Brown and Riley Reiff, both of whom are over 30 and are in contract years; if Sow returns to the position, the former mauling EMU Eagle (heh, two birds) offensive lineman could ease the need at tackle for next offseason.
TRADE: 4-135 to LV for 5-144 and 6-214 5-144: Atonio Mafi, G, UCLA Another interior lineman? Yes. Mafi is a guard whom the Patriots worked with at the Shrine Bowl, and has the versatility to move between left and right guard. As the aforementioned Onwenu is in a contract year, Mafi has a clear path to a potential starting job in 2024, and the most important thing right now for the development of Mac Jones is keeping him upright. By selecting three offensive linemen – using a quarter of their 12 selections on the offensive trench – Belichick and Groh have signaled their intent to do just that. From all accounts, Mafi, who met with New England in a pre-draft visit, is thrilled to join the team; now it’s about proving it on the field.
6-187: Kayshon Boutte, WR, LSU Boutte is the epitome of a boom-or-bust prospect, his elite 2020 and ‘21 being overshadowed by a disappointing 2022 that dropped him from clear first-rounder to a middle-of-Day-3 selection. As a freshman and sophomore, Boutte looked to follow in the footsteps of highly-drafted LSU wideouts such as Odell Beckham Jr., Justin Jefferson, and JaMarr Chase, showing a complete package of agility, speed, and route running. Unfortunately, an injury plus conflicts with his new coach Brian Kelly led to underperformance, and a poor combine performance cemented his draft stock as having drastically fallen. But if he can get back to his earlier form, where his talent and athleticism led to a combined 83 receptions, 1244 yards, and 14 touchdowns in his first two college seasons, Boutte could become the steal of the draft.
6-192: Bryce Baringer, P, Michigan State While New England had signed Corliss Waitman so as to have a punter on the roster heading into the draft, none assumed he was the long-term answer; when the Patriots made Baringer the first punter taken in the 2023 draft, it became clear who was. A walk-on turned cut turned best punter in college football, Baringer has a booming leg that showed itself in an average punt length of 49.0 yards in ‘22; he also holds the Michigan State record for career punting average at 46.0 yards. As a bonus, he worked with Ryland at the Senior Bowl, so the two have already begun to develop chemistry in the holding game. As another bonus, he wore No. 99 in college, and that is awesome.
6-210: Demario Douglas, WR, Liberty When one imagines a typical Patriots slot receiver – small, shifty, and explosive with the ball in his hands – one might well be imagining Douglas. The five-foot-eight Liberty product can absolutely fly, moving all around the formation and catching balls at all levels of the field. New Englanders got a preview of what Douglas’ game might look like when rookie cornerback Marcus Jones began to take snaps on offense last year; Jones was often put in motion before the snap, worked out of the backfield, and assigned touches where his elusiveness was the spark to gain yards. Douglas has said he models his game after Jones, a claim that demonstrates itself when one views his collegiate tape. I had a third-round grade on Douglas, so the Patriots landing him at 210 is a thrill. (Even though the Giants took one of my draft crushes in Tre Hawkins III the pick before, for which I’m still irked.)
6-214: Ameer Speed, CB, Michigan State The unknown about Speed is whether he will develop on defense; that is not his skill at the moment. There are three things known: his size (6’3”, 210 lbs.), his speed (4.34s 40), and his special teams prowess. With longtime special teams captain Matthew Slater likely entering his last year, the Patriots need to develop a new crop of special teams standouts, long a hallmark of Belichick’s Patriots from the time of Larry Izzo. Last year’s UDFA Brenden Schooler looks like one of those players already; Speed will certainly be given every chance possible to be another.
7-245: Isaiah Bolden, CB, Jackson State More tall athletic cornerbacks! The only HBCU selection in the 2023 draft, Bolden is an incredible athlete who likely earned his way to a draft selection by lighting up his Pro Day. Though just a role player on defense, Bolden has developmental traits that any defensive coach would love, and has also been a top collegiate kick returner, leading all of college football in 2021 with a 36.9-yard average on kickoff returns. I don’t see the two late-round cornerback selections as “throw players on the field and see who sticks” à la the ill-fated dual tight end picks of Devin Asiasi and Dalton Keene in 2020’s third round, but selecting players who might have longer chances to succeed, but if they do succeed can truly shine.
Though Bolden was the last of the Patriots’ 2023 draft picks, that did not conclude their rookie class as the period of UDFA signings immediately began. The Patriots have had an undrafted rookie make the Week 1 roster every year since 2004; with just a four-man class this season, chances are slim. They’re not impossible – their only 2021 UDFA, kicker Quinn Nordin, made it – but they’re definitely slimmer. Here are the four who can continue that streak.
Undrafted Rookies
Malik Cunningham, QB, Louisville The most expensive ($200,000) and well-known of the quartet, Cunningham’s slight build and arm as a quarterback led to piles of speculation of his switching positions. However, he has started off his Patriots tenure as a quarterback in rookie minicamp, so he remains a quarterback until further notice. Throughout college, Cunningham’s most intriguing asset has been his supreme athleticism at the position, something which showed up in testing, and it remains to be seen how the Patriots will use that athleticism to help the team. (It may be a good while until outside sources get a look, as minicamp and OTAs have thus far been closed off to the media.)
Johnny Lumpkin, TE, Louisiana-Lafayette After foregoing using a selection on a tight end in a deep draft class (another Belichick trend), New England instead brought in Lumpkin, who projects as a blocking tight end in the NFL. This offsets the biggest negative, his age (he’ll be 26 to start the season), as the Patriots lack a true blocker at the position. Whether Lumpkin can take advantage of this path to a roster spot remains to be seen, but his road to making the team as an undrafted rookie seems easiest at the moment.
Jourdan Heilig, LB, Appalachian State Like Board and Speed, Heilig joins the Patriots as a special teams standout, playing minimal defense as a Mountaineer (three snaps in 2022) but standing out in college on the third unit (210 snaps in 2022). He’ll have a chance to follow in the path of Schooler as a UDFA who makes his mark as a core special teamer.
Justus Tavai, DL, San Diego State The middle of the Tavai brothers (older brother Jahlani is a Patriots linebacker, younger brother Jonah signed with Seattle as a UDFA), Justus played alongside Jonah on the Aztec defensive line in 2022. While Jonah put up eye-popping numbers with double-digit sacks, Justus was a steady contributor as well, putting up 3.5 sacks and intercepting a pass. Tavai is the ninth man on the Patriots’ defensive line right now, so he has a difficult path if he wants to make the team.
He’s not an undrafted rookie, but the Patriots have also brought in veteran free agent Anthony Firsker, TE to compete with Lumpkin, Sokol, and Washington for the third tight end spot, the roster spot opened with their losing reserve Raekwon McMillan, LB to a partially torn Achilles tendon.
Projected Offseason Depth Chart (italics = rookie, (in parentheses = exclusively or primarily a special teamer)) (Note: the Patriots assign temporary jersey numbers in the offseason starting with 50 based mainly on draft position.)
QB 10 Mac Jones 4 Bailey Zappe 19 Trace McSorley 64 Malik Cunningham
RB 38 Rhamondre Stevenson 3 James Robinson 14 Ty Montgomery II 35 Pierre Strong Jr. 36 Kevin Harris 42 J.J. Taylor
WR 1 DeVante Parker 7 JuJu Smith-Schuster 84 Kendrick Bourne 11 Tyquan Thornton 58 Kayshon Boutte 60 Demario Douglas 82 Tre Nixon (44 Raleigh Webb) (18 Matthew Slater)
TE 85 Hunter Henry 88 Mike Gesicki 86 Anthony Firsker 87 Matt Sokol 17 Scotty Washington 65 Johnny Lumpkin
T 77 Trent Brown 74 Riley Reiff 76 Calvin Anderson 75 Conor McDermott 64 Andrew Stueber
G 71 Mike Onwenu 69 Cole Strange 54 Sidy Sow 55 Atonio Mafi 63 Chasen Hines 62 Bill Murray
C 60 David Andrews 53 Jake Andrews 65 James Ferentz 66 Kody Russey
DL 90 Christian Barmore 92 Davon Godchaux 91 Deatrich Wise Jr. 93 Lawrence Guy Sr. 95 Daniel Ekuale 98 Carl Davis Jr. 96 Sam Roberts 70 Jeremiah Pharms Jr. 67 Justus Tavai
ED 9 Matthew Judon 55 Josh Uche 51 Keion White 58 Anfernee Jennings (97 DaMarcus Mitchell) 51 Ronnie Perkins
LB 8 Ja’Whaun Bentley 48 Jahlani Tavai 52 Marte Mapu 30 Mack Wilson Sr. (45 Chris Board Jr.) 43 Calvin Munson 59 Terez Hall 47 Olakunle Fatukasi (66 Jourdan Heilig)
CB 50 Christian Gonzalez 31 Jonathan Jones 13 Jack Jones 25 Marcus Jones 27 Myles Bryant (61 Ameer Speed) 63 Isaiah Bolden 37 Tae Hayes 26 Shaun Wade 34 Quandre Mosely 39 Rodney Randle Jr.
S 23 Kyle Dugger 5 Jabrill Peppers 2 Jalen Mills 21 Adrian Phillips 24 Joshuah Bledsoe (41 Brenden Schooler) (22 Cody Davis) 29 Brad Hawkins
K 62 Chad Ryland 6 Nick Folk
P 59 Bryce Baringer 15 Corliss Waitman
LS 49 Joe Cardona 46 Tucker Addington
Conclusion Is this a perfect Patriots team? No. There are still long-term holes at offensive tackle and tight end, and there is a question mark as to who can be that pass catcher whom defensive coordinators have to plan for, a player the team has lacked for several seasons.
But is this an exciting Patriots roster, a team who has a chance to exceed their middling projections and expectations, a team worth watching and cheering for? Absolutely. Belichick and company have stabilized the coaching staff; added explosive, athletic players at nearly every position; brought in a new crew of players to take over special teams; and begun their draft with three players who could not only start in the NFL but have the potential to star. I fully believe that this is not an 8-9 caliber team, even in an AFC East with three other teams that have added big name after big name.
As Bill Belichick might say, we’re on to 2023.
We’re on to victory.

After thinking about it, it just dawned on me why Danny can’t accept his mistake. When the house burned down, his parents were disappointed and didn’t show a tinge of concern. They didn’t even try to comfort their son or offer help. Without them knowing what actually happened, they acted as if it’s Danny’s fault automatically (which it is but they don’t know yet). They immediately went into self-pity mode of “it’s too good to be true anyway”. So imagine what their reaction would be if they knew the real reason. The fear of disappointing people really kickstart the kidnapping and everything else that happened after.

I don’t know how unpopular this is or isn’t, but it’s long past time to let the Jon era go. I’m not saying to forget about it or not still enjoy videos from that time, but Jon was on Game Grumps for like a year. At this point, he’s been not a part of it for way longer than he was part of it, yet people act like he only just left after a 10 year run. And then the continued drama about who was in the right, why Jon left, who’s better out of him and Arin or him and Danny…it’s been almost a decade. Let it go, people😭

Hi! I graduated in Dec 2022 and I was planning to pursue MSBA this Fall 2023 due to some circumstances I have to push it to next Spring 2024; so I am reapplying to other colleges for MS in CS or ITM. (I chose not to apply MSBA again because of it doesn’t make sense to go for a MS program that will be overtaken by AI in a few years 😭)
My stats: (I know my stats are underwhelming)
GRE: 303 (152 Q and 151 V and 4.0 Writing)
BS in CS from LSU; Undergrad GPA: 3.3
Two internships and two letters of recommendation one from a professor and one from my supervisor.
I have 3 personal projects that I have been working on which I want to include as well. (one AI based project + one web application + one mobile application that i worked on during my internship )
I’m planning on applying to Clemson, UFL, NSU, GSU and any other school you guys advise me on!
Any advice is helpful, please don’t be ruthless I am hanging on by a thread 😓

I guess this isn’t the right flair to use anymore. But it still feels right. I don’t know how we got here. How we both care so deeply for each other and can’t be together. How we ended up damaging each other so much despite out best efforts.
We did our best and I believe that. I’ve told you before and I told you today: I don’t regret it. I would rather try and know than not try and wonder. You didn’t waste my time, my love. Don’t ever worry about that.
You are now the only ex I’ve ever wanted to keep in my life. I don’t know how to do anything but no contact and that’s how it’ll be for a while. But I hope we’ll be friends again. I hope we’ll grow and find ourselves in a position to try this again. That’s all we can do, isn’t it? Take the experience and try and grow. Learn from it. Become new people and hope they’ll love each other the way we do.
I’m sorry it fell apart and I know you are too. I hope we meet again one day. I love you, Danny. Same team.

For context I’m Norwegian, also my English isn’t great so please excuse any mistakes. *INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS SPOILERS*
So in this dream, I was watching a video Danny had just posted about another bad movie, and the video was called "I’M GORILLA CANDLE!" except the movie that he was watching wasn’t even called gorilla candle, and had nothing to do with the video at all. Also notable mention, I’ve had Kurtis, Weston Koury and Ozzy Osbourne in my dreams before, and they were all speaking English since I guess they don’t speak Norwegian, but in this dream, Danny was speaking perfect Norwegian. Anyway, at some point in the video he started talking about how a scene in the movie he was criticizing reminded him of a scene in Invasion of the Body Snatchers, when the main guy smashed the human pods in with a hammer. This was when I decided to shut my laptop, but to my surprise, Danny was behind the top part, doing the invasion of the body snatchers scream. I can’t describe it so please just google 'Invasion of the Body Snatchers scream' because I need you to experience the horror I went in. Holy shit dude he did the same face, pointed at me, and I will never forget the sound of the scream. I kid you not I have never been more scared in my life and I'm good now, and actually thinks it's kind of funny, but for a week or two I felt a little bit on edge watching him.
No hate, we love you Danny and congrats on the gregnancy! :)

The original lore post that I made was deleted by me by mistake (I don’t want to talk about it) so here is a updated version with some new subreddits I didn’t mention but you can still see the comments on other subreddits like 70percentbananalore. Here is the new lore on u/70percentbanana:
Subreddits based on him: -found70percentbanana -70percentbananafans -70percentbananasfans -anti70percentbanana -anti7Opercentbanana (I intentionally created this one to confuse the members of anti70percentbanana) -70percentbanana -70percentbanana4pres -70percentfanart -more70percentbanana -foundthebadbanana -70percentbananalore -summon70percentbanana
All percentbananas: -u/70percentbanana (our banana overlord) -u/71percentbanana (claims to be higher than our banana overlord) -u/7Opercentbanana (no longer with us) -u/69percentbanana (nice) -u/100percentbanana -u/70percentbanana2 -u/101percentbanana -u/0percentbanana (also has a found sub now) -u/75percentbanana -u/1percentbanana -u/70percengbanana -u/97percentbanana -u/33percentbanana -u/91percentbanana -u/60percentbanana -u/50percentbanana -u/weare50percentbanana -u/50percentbananaDNA -u/70percentbananananan (alt account) -u/74percentbanana -u/30percentbanana -u/-70percentbanana -u/seventypercentbanana (he has this whole lore thing just check his profile for it but our lord denies all of it) -u/78percentbanana -u/-30percentbanana-
Commonly asked questions: -Why is he so popular and has his own found sub? He was so popular on beetlejuicing that it clogged up the posts so u/Jo__Taku formed found70percentbanana to clear it up and then u/Insomiatwoseven mentioned the sub on teenagers and it blew up.
-What is his other 30%? Many users have claimed it to be alien or god but our lord denies it and instead won’t tell anyone.
-Does he enjoy this fame? He doesn’t seem to mind but doesn’t like when people make too much of a fuss about him.
Online family: -Spouse: u/Rutika02 self-proclaimed legal wife which our lord only agreed to marry because it is “legal” -Children: *u/kayliatayz adopted by Rutika *u/seventypercentbanana claims to his unborn son that has come back in time with his 15% deity powers (according to him his father is 30% deity but he denies it) to fix the timeline Affairs: *u/lh_78 married him then later broke up with him and then proposed to him the same day *u/psyduckforpres2024 asked him to marry them but was politely rejected *u/Diabolus414 asked to be his wife thinking that he and his wife broke up
Compilated: -u/-70percentbanana- claims to be his son, cousin, and brother
Banana Lore: -Has a dog named Sherlock -Certified forklift driver -Plays disc golf and won his first tournament that he joined -Is a Greg (Danny Gonazales fan) -Has a rating of around 700 in chess -Doesn’t like driving with his nickpicky parents -Was so popular on beetlejuicing that it clogged the posts so found70percentbanana was formed -Likes baking cookies and napping -Business major doesn’t yet know what to minor in yet -Lives in Miami, Florida -Only knew of 3 of his subreddits before I told him -Doesn’t use Discord -Graduated HS on May 16 and got 2000 followers on May 17 -Animal lover -Watched Phineas and Ferb -Has ordered Maple Bacon ice cream before apparently -Has three siblings -Favorite book is “what if” by Randall Munroe -Mows lawn every week -Claims to have lifted and thrown Mount Everest into space in less than a second -Enemies with u/-youknowthatguy- for reasons only that guy will understand -u/Amaskedsingerfan falsely claims he is overrated -u/Quarterdillion156, a divorce lawyer, claims that u/Rutika02 and him are no longer married -Believes girls aren’t real -Straight -18m -Not 30% god -Not 30% alien

”Short” recap of the Jets' 2022 Season

The Jets had a noisy offseason in 2022 as they were big spenders in free agency, bringing in CB DJ Reed, TE CJ Uzomah, and OG Laken Tomlinson. The also had 3 first round picks and an early second rounder to give the team one of the youngest roster in the NFL by snaps given. The main headline going into the Jets regular season was, like most NFL teams, centered around the quarterback position. The Jets drafted BYU QB Zach Wilson #2 overall in the 2021 NFL draft. Statistically, Zach's rookie campaign was off to an abysmal start with 4 TDs and 9 picks in his first Five starts before having his midseason interrupted by a knee injury. Zach would return and threw 5 touchdowns and just two picks in his last seven games, playing less dynamically than he had in Tennessee but smarter and safer. Zach went into the 2022 season looking to improve on his 2,334 yards passing, 55.6% completion percentage, 9 passing touchdowns, 4 rushing touchdowns, and 11 interceptions from 2022.
However, Zach would miss September due to a miniscus tear he suffered in the preseason. The Jets started Joe Flacco at the quarterback position for their opening three games; going 1-2 with a historical comeback win at Cleveland (I didn't have to mention this but it's the most exciting Jets football you'll ever see). After Zach returned, the Jets opened out on a winning streak. However, this had more to do with the star performances of the Jets rookies, namely WR Garrett Wilson, RB Breece Hall, and CB Sauce Gardner. In Denver, the Jets suffered a pyrrhic victory at hands of the Broncos as the team won 16-9, but suffered season ending injuries to OL Alijah Vera-Tucker and Breece Hall. Hindering the offensive line and prematurely ending Hall's OROTY campaign. This altered the course of the Jets' season for the worse. While young stars Garrett Wilson and Sauce Gardner continued to shine, the team's offense couldn't make up for the loss of Breece Hall as they were forced to look to Zach Wilson to lead the passing offense. Zach Wilson regressed heavily from his already terrible rookie season and as a result of his poor performance and attitude, was benched. The Jets attempted to salvage their season by looking to Mike White, who almost immediately went out with injury, and then later to Flacco (and at one point, Chris Streveler, fresh out of the CFL). Only two seasons into Wilson's career, he's cemented himself among the greatest draft busts in NFL history and for the sake of playefan morale, is completely unplayable in 2023. He isn't going to be cut until at least August, as there's no financial incentive to give up on him until after next season. The Jets missed out on the playoffs in 2023 for the 12th straight season, the second longest drought in North American sports. The silver lining for the Jets this season is that their roster is still full of young talent across the board, as AVT should be back by the preseason, Breece Hall should be back in the early regular season this year, and Garret Wilson and Sauce Gardner are back for their sophomore seasons after winning Offensive Rookie of the Year and Defensive Rookie of the year, respectively. The Jets had very little coaching staff/front office turnover from 2022. The main exception is the Jets moved on from young offensive coordinator Mike LaFleur to sign veteran OC and recently fired Denver Broncos' head coach, Nathaniel Hackett. This move was met with middling reception by fans. As many cited him as an underwhelming retread, though there was potentially one huge upside to signing Hackett and his name is...

Aaron Freaking Rodgers

After acknowledging his failure in drafting and developing his franchise QB, New York Jets General Manager Joe Douglas, scrambled to find a QB the Jets can compete with during their current window where their most talented players are on rookie deals. Joe Douglas doesn’t have the luxury of trying again with rookie QB roulette as he’s already four years into a rebuild that has yielded zero winning seasons. Many considered his huge failure with Zach Wilson to be a fireable offense, but due to his success in building the rest of the team, Jets owner Woody Johnson publicly voiced his confidence in Joe Douglas and let him have another offseason to try to pull a rabbit out of his hat at the QB position. The Jets were connected to almost every veteran QB that might conceivably be on the market from January to March. Around the time of the NFL Combine, the Jets had their options narrowed down to Tannehil, Cousins, and Aaron Rodgers headlining the group. With Rodgers’ ending his career in Green Bay, he then descended into a Darkness Retreat. Afterward, Aaron decided to tell Schefter to lose his number and went on the Mcafee show to announce that he had decided to play for the Jets, despite still being on contract with the Packers. After a month and a half of Jets and Packers fans taking to Reddit and Twitter to argue endlessly about Leverage, the Jets and Packers finally worked out a deal on April 24th, just days before the 2023 NFL Draft. The Jets acquired Aaron Rodgers and a 5th round pick in 2023 in exchange for a 1st round pick swap (Jets go 13 to 15th overall), a 2023 2nd round pick, a 2023 6th round pick, and a 2024 second round pick that can become a 1st if Rodgers plays >65% of snaps in 2023. Many were quick to declare an immediate winner to the trade, though I think with trades like these, you need to see how things play out and what will happen on the conditions before knowing for sure. My knee-jerk reaction to the trade is that it’s an overpay if Rodgers were to retire after 2023, but if he comes back for 2024 like he says he’s going to, then this is fair overall. If Jordan Love doesn’t pan out and the Jets make a Super Bowl over the next two years, people will look back on this trade as a steal for the Jets. Time will tell.

Jets Free Agency

Contrary to popular belief, the Jets did more this offseason than roll out the red carpet for Aaron Rodgers. In free agency, the Jets rolled out the red carpet for all of Aaron Rodger’s favorite teammates. In Free Agency, the Jets brought in:

• WR Mecole Hardman (KC)
• WR Allen Lazard (GB)
• OL Trystan Colon (BAL)
• OL Billy Turner (DEN)
• P Thomas Morestead (MIA)
• C Wes Schweitzer (WAS)
• QB Tim Boyle (DET)
• DT Quinton Jefferson (SEA)

Over half the names on this list have some kind of connection to Aaron Rodgers. Allen Lazard was the biggest swing for the Jets in free agency with $44MM over 4 years. The Jets cut bait by trading Elijah Moore to Cleveland, but are going to keep Corey Davis for the third year of his contract despite disappointing availability and stats by Davis. Lazard has experience in the slot, despite being primarily an outside the numbers receiver. With Moore and Berrios out, the Jets are a little bit heavier on outside receiver and light on slot receiver, so they’ll likely focus on size over shiftiness over the middle. However, bringing in Mecole Hardman brings a lot of the speed over the middle that the team is missing. Outside of WR, the Jets added more depth on the offensive and defensive lines. The main highlight of free agency for Jets fans was, strangely enough, the punter they signed- Thomas Morstead. Morstead punted for the Jets in 2021 filling in for an injured Braden Mann with an average of 48 yards/ punt and 7 punts within the 20. The Jets let Morstead go to let Braden Mann return. Mann was a decent punter for the Jets at best, but was infamous in NY for a shank a game that eventually became too much. The Jets have also worked out with P Matt “Punt God” Araiza, but that’s a can of worms I won’t get into. The Jets also brought back:

• LB Quincy Williams
• K Greg Zuerlin
• DT Solomon Thomas
• RB Ty Johnson
• C Connor McGovern

I have much less to say about these players. Ty Johnson has already been cut, which has been a small controversy due to his surgery that was allegedly recommended by the Jets. But especially after the draft, the Jets have a glut of runningbacks on the roster. I don’t see what the Jets see in Solomon Thomas but HC Robert Saleh really likes him. Greg Zuerlin has been a replacement level kicker for the Jets. Quincy Williams is back, which is mostly interesting as his older brother, Quinnen Williams, is in a contract holdout with the Jets. The number for Quinnen Williams is likely going to look similar to what Dexter Lawrence got from the Giants.

The New York Jets 2023 NFL Draft

Pre-Draft Needs

Positions of Need going into the Draft: OT, FS, DT, RB
The Jets' strength on the defense was on the outsides, both on the passrush with Carl Lawson and Jermaine Johnson coming back and in the pass defense, with Sauce Gardner and DJ Reed returning after being arguably the best CB duo in 2022. The weakness was over the middle in the passing game and between the tackles in the run game. The Jets have Quinnen Williams on the 5th year option looking for a new deal this year and don't have another quality DT to complement him on the interior of their 4-3 front. Jordan Whitehead was disappointing for the Jets last year at SS and Ashtyn Davis hasn't fully panned out at FS.
On the offense, the Jets have fewer holes, but have positions like RB, TE, and WR where they can afford to add more talent. The biggest liabilities for the Jets are on the offensive tackle, where Mekhi Becton is coming back from two whole seasons of injury and Duane Brown is 38 and playing likely his last season of Pro Football.

1st Round (15th Overall) Will McDonald IV, EDGE – Iowa State

Before discussing McDonald as a player, we should discuss the Steelers’ trade with the Patriots at 14th overall. This trade led to a lot of criticism of the trade back with Green Bay for Rodgers as well as Joe Douglas’s composure as a drafter. The main thing we know about Broderick Jones is that the fact that Pittsburgh was interested in trading up for him long before the Rodgers trade. Jones to the Steelers was one of the worst kept secrets of the NFL draft this year and the New England Patriots (while not to pretend that Belichick doesn’t love to screw the Jets over) are notorious for trading back in the first round. I’m not going to assert that the Jets weren’t interested in landing Broderick Jones, I think the people who are skeptical of Douglas’s claim that McDonald was their top target are missing two things: the first is that Robert Saleh is a defensive minded coach who is obsessed with having an excess of edge rushers with good bend. Saleh and Douglas are still on good terms, and I would be very surprised if during the draft Saleh wasn’t pounding the table in Joe Douglas’s ear for Will McDonald. The second is that while Jones was on board, Douglas himself said that McDonald was his number 1. You can debate if the Jets should’ve taken Jones if he were available, but he wasn’t and so, the Jets picked McDonald. Will McDonald is a 6’4” 236 lbs Edge rusher from Iowa State University who turns 24 years old June 6th. He was considered a high draft prospect after his 2021 and 2020 seasons where he had 11.5 and 10.5 sacks respectively, but still decided to come back to school in 2022. This, plus the fact that he didn’t begin playing football until he was 17 years old, contribute to Will McDonald IV’s advanced age as a prospect. Some might have called this pick a reach due to his age, but it’s worth noting that McDonald isn’t exactly a “late bloomer” as a player, but rather he has been a competitive pass rusher in the Big 12 since about 2019 and is tied for #1 overall in the Big12’s career sack list. Another reason why Will McDonald IV is an underrated prospect is that many people aren’t familiar with the defense that Iowa St. and how it deflates pass rusher numbers. Iowa State runs something called a STAR defense, or a 3-3-5 (3 DL, 3LB, 5 DBs). This helped the Cyclones against pass heavy, air raid and/or spread style offenses, but means that a premier pass rusher like Will McDonald will get basically zero help in the box. The traits that scouts fell in love with that made Will McDonald IV a first-round talent were his bend around the edge, his top end speed, and his usage of his hands. The weaknesses that were brought up centered mostly around his smaller size, power, and lack of body of work on run defense. But his overall athleticism and potential to bulk up are the main thing the Jets are banking on as they look develop him going forward. McDonald’s athleticism is so over the top, that he’s made a hobby of jumping over cars and doing other acrobatics that will keep the Jets management up at night if he keeps it up through his rookie contract.
The main thing to understand when watching McDonald as a prospect is that the Jets are going to play him a lot differently than the Cyclones did. Due to the ISU 3-man front, McDonald was often moved inside if he wasn’t double or triple teamed as a 5 tech. When Robert Saleh called Will McDonald to let him know the Jets were drafting him, Saleh said “We’re getting you out of that 4i and into that Wide 9”. That meaning, that instead of playing him between the guard and the tackle, they’re going to put him as far out as the o-line is built. I think the Jets will try to get him standing up; even though they typically have four defensive linemen down as I trust Robert Saleh to not pigeonhole a guy to a set role and will just try to set him up to succeed as a pass rusher. The important thing to remember when evaluating McDonald’s upcoming rookie season (or Jermaine Johnson’s rookie season from 2022), is that the Jets have a religious dedication to cycling their defensive linemen in and out regardless of how well or poorly they’re playing. So, for young players like McDonald, Johnson, and Michael Clemons, they’re guaranteed to get a shot, but even if they succeed, they’ll get cycled out. But this does mean that in 2023, we’re guaranteed a chance to see the speed and shiftiness that Will McDonald IV will be bringing to the Jets defense for years to come.

2nd Round, 12th pick (43rd Overall) Joe Tippmann, C – Wisconsin

After the first night of the draft, most were shocked over the Jets’ selection of Will McDonald. And many more in Jets land were disappointed that the team couldn’t find any offensive line help for newly acquired QB, Aaron Rodgers. Fortunately for the Jets on night 2, the board broke their way positively, unlike on night 1. With most of the premier tackles off the board, the Jets then turned their attention interior offensive line. The Jets re-signed Connor McGovern to a 1 year $1.915 million deal after the main rush of free agency subsided and McGovern was unable to find a better deal. McGovern was a serviceable Center for the Jets on his previous 3 year deal, but at 30, the Jets are starting to look for long term options with higher upside. With McGovern making barely backup Center money, the Jets had basically no assets committed to the center position. With every center in the 2023 NFL draft on the board, I don’t think I need to do as much defending of the positional choice for center as I had to do for Edge rusher in the first round. The Jets selected Joe Tippmann with the 12th pick of the 2nd round. The Wisconsin Badger is one of the taller Centers we’ve seen at 6’6” (not including the mullet) and 313 lbs. However, Tippmann has shown on film that he’s able to get low off the snap off the height and in the later block can leverage his size. He had the highest athleticism score at his position (which is going to be a consistent theme for the Jets in this draft). He started his last two full seasons at Wisconsin, shining as a run blocker and allowed only on sack and five pressures over 338 pass blocking snaps. His strengths coming out of Wisconsin are his fluid movement and rotation, his high football IQ, and his size. His main weakness is his sense of balance and his high point of contact. Some might have questioned why the Jets chose Tippmann over John Michael-Schmitz and, while I would’ve been happy with either, I personally believe the Jets made the slightly better choice in banking on a player who is younger, bigger, healthier, and possibly has higher upside. The Jets have been looking for the heir apparent to Nick Mangold since he’s retired. While McGovern was a serviceable stop gap for the last three years and will get a chance to compete with Tippmann this summer, I believe this pick is a great chance for the Jets to find a new leader of their offensive line for years to come. The Jets are at their best in their franchise history when they have a Center with leadership, strength, and durability to support the offense.

4th Round, Pick 18 (120th Overall) Carter Warren, OT – Pittsburgh

In 2022, the New York Jets offensive line was a revolving door as the offensive line was decimated by injuries before they even started the regular season. They were able to mitigate these issues for the first few weeks of the season by deploying Alijah Vera-Tucker as a Swiss Army Offensive Lineman, but when he suffered a season ending injury, that had to come to an end. In this offseason, the Jets didn’t add many players who will contend for starting positions at guard or tackle in 2023, but Joe Douglas has made a point to bolster the depth at these positions so they’re better prepared for when Mekhi Becton, who hasn’t played a full game since mid 2020, or the 38 year old Duane Brown get injured.
To prepare for this, the Jets picked New Jersey native Carter Warren in the fourth round out of Pittsburgh. With his 7 foot wingspan, core strength, and leadership experience, Warren has the traits of a prototypical NFL Tackle. Carter Warren’s athleticism graded highly at the combine at the workouts he performed despite not being 100% from his shoulder injury. He fell to the fourth round in the draft as expected due to his season ending injury in 2022 and his overall lack of power and ability to sustain blocks for longer drives. The Jets are looking for Carter Warren to develop into a capable swing tackle or high end backup LT. The team is possibly still banking on Becton serving as the long term starting Left Tackle, but we’ll sort that out when training camp gets here. With veteran Billy Turner on the team and second year Maxx Mitchell returning as a swing tackle, the Jets are hopeful that they won’t rely on a rookie tackle in 2023. But if they do, Carter Warren has the traits needed to keep the offense on schedule when injuries inevitably come.

5th Round Pick, Pick 8 (#143rd Overall) Israel Abanikanda, RB – Pittsburgh

After selecting the Pittsburgh Panther from New Jersey in the fourth round, the Jets elected to take his teammate, RB Israel Abanikanda from Brooklyn, with the very next pick. In the last two years the Jets have brought in a lot of young runningbacks from the draft such as Michael Carter, Breece Hall, and Zonovan Knight. The Jets running back room looked like it was on the road to being elite after Breece Hall’s early career breakout before his tragic season ending injury. Breece Hall had emerged as a physical, downhill runner for the Jets and Michael Carter and Bam Knight were capable change of pace backs, pass blockers, and receiving backs. Breece Hall is going to go back to being the Jets premier runningback if he comes back to be 100% of what he was last year, even with Abanikanda on the roster. But what the Jets were lacking, even with Hall on the roster last year, was a shiftier, higher end speed running back that can break open in space. Hall checks off a lot of these boxes, but did so by being more physical over the middle. In 2022, Izzy Abanikanda’s stats were impressive. He reached 100 yards rushing in 9 out of his 11 games and rushed for 20 TDs on the season. With Hall, Izzy can be a dangerous lightning to Breece Hall’s thunder as the Jets look to round out their offense. Izzy’s athleticism is (say it with me now: ) really good. He ranked 5th out of running backs in this draft despite being a 5th round pick. The biggest weakness commonly cited about Izzy Abanikanda is his pass protection. This has been a recent focus on running backs in the NFL and something that will likely limit Izzy’s day one impact. But the Jets can keep things simple on the offense and just focus on getting the ball of playmakers like Abanikanda. The most exciting thing about Abanikanda is that he’s young, not turning 21 until October 5th of this year (making him born in 2002, if you wanted to feel old today). Abanikanda is an extremely speedy player with home run ability. The value in the 5th round is great for the Jets here and they are now hedged against a key RB injury like they suffered last year. This pick may spell trouble for fans of Michael Carter and Zonovan Knight (apologies to /DynastyFF), but it puts the Jets in a position to be dynamic in the ground game to capitalize on defenses thinking they can afford to sell out against the Aaron Rodgers-led passing offense.

6th Round, Pick 7 (184th Overall) Zaire Barnes, LB – Western Michigan

Getting later into the draft, the Jets start to look for roleplayers and positions where the team is light. Zaire Barnes fills both of these criteria with his special teams experience and coverage linebacker experience. The Jets have Quincy Williams and CJ Mosely playing in the box to handle secondary running coverage. The team may still bring back Kwon Alexander to return as the WILL linebacker in space, but the Jets are looking to bolster their coverage over the middle. The Jets have arguably the best cornerback duo on the outside with DJ Reed and Sauce Gardner and a capable slot corner with Michael Carter II. This means that most of the teams that threw the ball on the Jets did so over the middle.
At Western Michigan, Barnes lined up close to the line of scrimmage and focused mostly on man coverage. In order for him to unlock his potential and make this pick a steal, he needs to unlock his ability to use lateral movement to help in zone coverage. At 6’1” his height is unremarkable but more than adequate for a linebacker within the box. If Zaire Barnes can make himself valuable on special team and take advantage of the opportunities to make a play in coverage over the middle or to make an impact in the run game where the Jets are also light, Zaire Barnes will be able to be a part of this Jets team for a long time.

Round 6, Pick 27 (#204th Overall) Jarrick Bernard-Converse, DB – LSU

In writing Bernard-Converse’s position on the headliner, I opted to just write DB, as he’s played all over the secondary. Looking at JBC’s skillset and the holes the Jets have in their roster, it would seem Bernard-Converse’s best outlook on the Jets is to move to the Safety position. With good tackling ability, high athleticism, and four years of starting experience at the Power 5 level, the Jets are banking on Bernard-Converse’s ability to adapt to a new role as opposed to being a true CB. In coverage at LSU, he did have some issues letting players get behind him due to his ability to trail and backpedal, another sign that he’s likely better suited for the safety role. With Jarrick Bernard-Converse, the Jets are banking on his adaptability and Robert Saleh’s ability to develop a player with raw talent into a contributor on the backend.

Round 7, Pick 3 (#220th Overall) Zack Kuntz, TE – Old Dominion

The Jets have looked to rebuild their TE room after years of it being in disarray. Unfortunately, the group that Douglas has put together, CJ Uzomah, Tyler Conklin, and Jeremy Ruckert, didn’t quite pan out in 2023. Part of this was on the quarterback play, but part of this is that the tight ends on the Jets didn’t quite have the plus abilities the team needed to get production from their Tight Ends. This is just the beginning of why Zack Kuntz is an exciting pick for the Jets. Kuntz (pronounced KOONTS, unless you’re Australian) was primarily a receiving tight end for Penn State and Old Dominion in college. At 6’8” 255lbs, Kuntz has more than the prototypical size of a blocking Y tight end, but he instead spent his college career using his 4.55 speed to be a menace over the middle. His most productive season was only 692 receiving yards and 5 touchdowns, which is a bit less for the insane athleticism that a speedy and shifty tight end such as Kuntz possesses. Still, it’s hard to imagine how 32 GMs looked at Kuntz and decided over 200 times that they don’t need this freak of nature on their team. The Jets may look into developing his blocking a bit more, but I think they’re probably more excited by refining his hands and getting him over the middle to create some size mismatch. With Zach Kuntz elite size and speed, he’s truly a menace with the ball in his hands.

UDFA Rapid Fire

The Jets traded back in the 6th round at a pretty heavy loss. I believe this is because they wanted special teams and depth and were relatively satisfied with most of the starters they had going into the NFL draft. So, the Jets will likely not have a ton of contributions from UDFAs this year. Here are the 13 players the Jets have currently signed as UDFAs and I’ll highlight a few of the ones I think I have a chance at making the 53 man roster below:

• Jason Brownlee, WR Southern Mississippi: Despite receiving a combine invite and showing a good vertical and 40 yard dash, Brownlee ends up unsigned on the Jets. I think the Jets will look to leverage his athleticism on special teams, as most of the WRs on the roster have little experience/interest in playing special teams.
• Trey Dean, Safety Florida: A former starter as a freshman for the Gators in 2017, he’s got a lot of experience. As mentioned earlier, both safety positions are weakspots on the Jets roster, so a safety with Dean’s experience might be able to stick on.
• Deslin Alexandre, DL Pittsburgh: Joe Douglas sure does love his Pittsburgh guys. Deslin played as an edge rusher in college, but went undrafted due to weak bend (which is an important trait in an EDGE rusher, as I’m sure you can imagine). Still, a player with his size could still be a valuable Defensive Tackle in a 4-3 defense such as the Jets’. The main thing for Alexandre will be improving his run defense, as that’s currently a sore spot for the Jets DL.

53 Man Roster Projection

POS	1st String	2nd String
QB	Aaron Rodgers	Tim Boyle	Zach Wilson
RB	Breece Hall	Israel Abanikanda	Michael Carter, Zonovan Knight
WR	Garrett Wilson	Corey Davis	Mecole Hardman
WR	Allen Lazard	Randall Cobb	Jason Brownlee
TE	Tyler Conklin	CJ Uzomah	Jeremy Ruckert
LT	Duane Brown	Warren Carter
RT	Mekhi Becton	Maxx Mitchell
LG	Laken Tomlinson	Wes Schweitzer
RG	Alijah Vera-Tucker	Billy Turner
C	Connor McGovern	Joe Tippmann
DT	Quinnen Williams	Al Woods
DT	John Franklin-Myers	Deslin Alexandre
DE	Jermaine Johnson	Isaiah Mack
DE	Carl Lawson	Michael Clemons	Solomon Thomas
ILB	CJ Mosely
OLB	Quincy Williams	Bryce Huff
OLB	Will McDonald IV	Zaire Barnes
CB	Sauce Gardner	Michael Carter II	Brandin Echols
CB	DJ Reed	Bryce Hall	Javelin Guidry
FS	Ashtyn Davis	Jarrick Berndard-Converse
SS	Jordan Whitehead	Justin Hardee	Chuck Clark
K	Greg Zuerlein
P	Thomas Morstead
LS	Thomas Hennessy

Notes on 53 man roster

• Yes, the front seven is a complete mess. The Jets move guys around so much that even trying to delineate between a LB or a DE can be difficult. This is a rough guesstimation of what players will make the final roster, not necessarily where they’ll play.
• The NFL has a new rule that allows teams to carry 3 QBs and still be under the 53 man roster. So that's why you may count 54 on this.
• I only did this with players currently either on contract or drafted by the Jets. I think Kwon Alexander will eventually sign but for now, he’s not on here.
• I really wanted to find a spot for Zach Kuntz, but it was tough since there’s a lot of dedicated money to TEs. I thought maybe we could cut Randall Cobb, but we’ll see.

Final Thoughts

This offseason will be remembered as the offseason where the Jets made a huge swing for a future Hall of Fame QB. It’s impossible for me to try to put this draft class up against that. But the Jets got a lot of athleticism in this draft that can set them up to be competitive in the long term. It was surprising that they traded back, seeing as they’re in a win now mode, still. I think the Jets got 2 or 3 starters from this draft, likely some combination of Abanikanda, Tippmann, and McDonald. Certain players like Warren and Kuntz do have some longer term potential, too. Nothing will ever touch Joe Douglas’s 2022 draft class, but I thought this class was solid and built a lot of overdue depth. Still, when July rolls around and it’s time for camp, it’s going to be the QB that all Jets fans are looking at.

“Verbal couture, parkour with the metaphors. The flow house of horror, dead bolted with metal doors. Grinch bitch, six sense with a nose drip. Mind skydive, sniffing bumps in the cockpit. Locksmith of hip-hop, appraisal the wrist watch. The rocks bout the size as the teeth in Chris Rock's mouth. Sock out the mic, prototype for Adderall. Your work killing fiends 'cause you cut it with Fentanyl. So much coke just to sniff, need a ski lift. Flip your table over if you cut it with the bullshit. Nosebleed on red carpets, but it just blend in. Snapping pictures feeling my chest being sunk in. Live a fast life, seen many die slowly. Unhappy when they left so I try to seize the moment.”
“Funny how it happens who ever would imagine. That joke's on you but Satan the one laughing.”
“Ain't it funny how it happens? Ain't it? ain't it funny how it happens? Ain't it? ain't it funny how it happens? Ain't it?”
I didn’t do much really. I did consider giving myself a buzz cut out of boredom. Would be interesting to become bald at some point.
Mainly spent the day looking after my dad. So I pretty much spent it doing nothing but watch shit on tv with him. That’s all he really likes to do now. I mean, he isn’t able to do the things he could. But it’s just depressing that doesn’t really want to do much else. I’m saying this and I’ve spent most of my days lately glued to my phone. No wonder my eye sight is shit.
I listened to some music, when is that ever any different? Never really, yeah. Played some more Zelda, it’s getting more repetitive. I might have to take a break from it, which upsets me. Wanting to do more of something but not wanting to at the same time. Oh shit, that’s practically addiction.
I don’t really have other shit to add on besides fucking drink water.
Song Of The Day: Danny Brown - Ain’t It Funny
Oh shit, I’m now being forced to listen to new music now… actually might be beginning to run out of songs to use here

I vaguely recall Danny Antonucci mentioning where he saw the Eds in the future. Specifically, when they grew up, what would they be? If I’m remembering this correctly; he said Ed would become a business owner, Edd would find a cure to mosquito bites, and Eddy would run a carnival ride.
I admit that imagining Ed as a business owner would be hard. However, his love of comics and B-list horror movies might have been a gateway to his own store or production company? Edd and Eddy’s both make sense to me. Edd would become a scientist of sorts, so a medical career where he solves the issue of mosquito bites is totally in character. Eddy owning a carnival ride makes sense considering that most of the series he’s a con man and an ego. That ego could easily be his undoing and he’s unable to hold down a better job. He’s kind of a wash out, working at a low paying, ill respected job. While a carnival is a perfect place for a con artist, it’s not a good place to end up.
Of course, with Eddy’s development in the movie, I don’t think this will happen. I think that now that Eddy has more friends, he’ll have a better support network. He has no reason to resort to scams, and can make an honest living as an adult if he tried.

Because it’s the offseason, I decided to see how many potential matchups there are between Power 5 Teams, and how many have been played. I made this chart to display these matchups. Out of the 64 current Power 5 members, Notre Dame, and the 4 future teams joining the Big 12, there are a total of 2,346 potential matchups possible. Out of those, 1,802 matchups have been played, with 31 new matchups having been officially scheduled. This leaves 513 matchups that have not been played or scheduled as of yet.
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Teams With The Most Matchups Already
2 programs are tied for having the most matchups played, those being Michigan and Nebraska who only have 5 teams never played. 4 programs are tied for the second most, those being Miami, Missouri, Ohio State, Penn State, and Texas who all have 6 remaining matchups.
Michigan, Nebraska, Ohio State, and Texas make sense, as they all have a long history of success and are commonly accepted as blue bloods of the sport. They likely have more games played when compared to other teams in the sport, whether that be due to more bowl games achieved or getting more reach due to their success.
Penn State and Miami could be explained due to their longer history as independents, giving them more options when scheduling (Notre Dame has played all but 7 teams). These two teams have also had a history of success much like the blue blood teams mentioned above.
This leaves us with Missouri. They seem out of place compared to the other teams, but do have a good history of their own. The explanation I could come up with is due to their location near the middle of the country, giving them equal access to both eastern and western teams. They also have history in multiple conferences such as the Big8/12 and SEC, giving them a larger pool of conference opponents than many other teams.
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Teams With The Least Matchups Already Played
Not unexpected, UCF has the least matchups played with 30 Power5 teams never played. This is likely due to their age, having only been competing since 1979 and only having joined FBS ranks in 1996. They are making strides to play new teams, having 4 new future matchups on the schedule already and more likely matchups to happen when they join the Big 12.
Ole Miss is next, having 28 teams they have never played. I don’t have a concrete theory as to why this is the case. One idea is that many teams may have refused to play. Legendary Georgia Tech coach Bobby Dodd famously refused to ever play in Mississippi, so something similar may have happened with other teams. If anyone else has a theory, please leave it in the comments!
In third place is Utah, with 26 teams never played. Their explanation is similar to UCF’s, being a new Power 5 member joining the Pac-12 in 2011.
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Likely Future Conference Matchups
A few matchups will likely be played within the next few years as a result of new conference realignment.

Iowa State	Houston
Iowa State	UCF
TCU	UCF
Texas Tech	UCF
Indiana	UCLA
Rutgers	UCLA
Maryland	USC
Rutgers	USC
Mississippi State	Oklahoma
South Carolina	Oklahoma

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Unplayed Matchups That Surprised Me
Florida State-Texas: 2 major teams in the South with passionate fanbases, I would’ve expected at least a bowl matchup by now.
Penn State-Virginia Tech: 2 programs with a history of independence and close proximity. Matchups were scheduled in 2020 and 2025, though both were cancelled.
Duke-Vanderbilt: 2 nerd schools in nearby states? It would just make sense to play at least once!
LSU-Michigan: This one surprised me the most, both teams having great histories and sustained success. I could see a playoff matchup in the near future.
All matchup info is from Winsipedia. If any information is incorrect, please let me know. And let me know which unplayed matchup surprised you the most in the comments! Hope everyone finds this interesting!

My 16th birthday my big sis got me a atrocity exhibition vinyl with my very first record player. It was great and sounded awesome but I was still in the middle of my leaving Christianity phase so I wasn’t sure about listening to explicit music. In a fit of faith I threw the vinyl away! I’m so sad now as an atheist that I can’t listen to Danny on vinyl lmao. I might just buy it again. Lesson of the day: don’t throw away vinyls while possessed by the Holy Spirit.

00:00:00:00 - 00:00:16:24
Unknown
Hey, have you guys heard of the idea of the, you know, that whole multiverse thing? What the hell is that, Joe? It's essentially the existence of an infinite number of parallel universes where you exist as different versions of yourself. Yeah. Yeah, That, you know, like in the Marvel movies, Donny. Oh, yeah, Right. Well, I 100% believe in that.
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00:00:16:25 - 00:00:35:05
Unknown
No doubt about it. Oh, you do? Well, I've seen you exist as at least 42 different versions of yourself in a single fucking speech, Joe. Sick burn, Donald. Not to mention, if there's anyone I know who I would describe as doctor. Fucking strange that honor is yours, my man. Oh, fuck you, Donnie. I was just going to ask if you thought there was a what?
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00:00:35:10 - 00:00:52:18
Unknown
A universe out there where we existed as superheroes. You know, like The Avengers, where your Thor and I'm Captain America. You look more like Lieutenant Fucking leukemia. From where I'm standing, Joe. Jesus Christ. Well, tick tock was fun while it lasted, gentlemen. May the Lord have mercy. I say we settle this in a good old fashioned two v fucking two boys.
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00:00:52:18 - 00:01:09:03
Unknown
We got to stop swearing unnecessarily, guys. If Donny's joke doesn't do it, the excessive cursing is going to get our account banned for sure. One of these days. Come on, man. Really? You lay a couple of F-bombs and everyone loses their minds. Yeah, but you lay a couple of real bombs and they call you Mr. President. Right, George?
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00:01:09:10 - 00:01:31:24
Unknown
I plead the Fifth. We know. Hey, they call me Mr. President, too. Barack Isn't that odd, man? Oh, it's very fucking odd, Joe. But not for the reasons you think. But by the time the next election rolls around, you won't be president. You'll be president. At least my term in office will go down in history, Donnie. Yeah, And it'll be the worst thing to go down in the White House since Monica Lewinsky was given your good pal Billy Boy.
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00:01:31:24 - 00:01:51:02
Unknown
Sloppy jalopy in the Oval Office. Bing bong. You're from Connecticut, George. Stop embarrassing yourself, homey. Honestly, though, the day I no longer have to see Sleepy Joe Waddle on stage to deliver a presidential address like a geriatric fucking penguin is the day I can die happily, if I knew, that's all it would take for us to finally be rid of you.
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00:01:51:02 - 00:02:11:00
Unknown
Donny, I swear I would have pulled the plug on the whole politics bullshit when I was the fucking pool boy for the Obama family back in 2008. Wait, wait. Pool boy. My girls still have nightmares of Joe in a Speedo. Oh, someone definitely should have pulled the plug. Joe pulled the plug on whatever fucking life support they've got you hooked up to when you weren't on camera.
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00:02:11:02 - 00:02:23:05
Unknown
Oh, fuck you, Donny. Anyway, I think I'll let you boys get back to leveling your accounts. It's double XP weekend, and I know you're almost max prestige in Parkinson's disease. Joe. Ping pong.
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00:02:23:05 - 00:02:40:27
Unknown
Good news, gentlemen. Thanks to that last post, we just passed 80,000 followers on TikTok. Flex on them, boys. Oh, hell. Way to go. Shit. Really Well done. Yeah. Big ups. The prez getting for real? For real. See, Donnie, I told you, the American people love me. I guess you were wrong. Oh, I don't think it's you they love, Joe, you senile fucking centipede.
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00:02:41:00 - 00:02:57:29
Unknown
Oh, fuck you, Donnie. Why must you always ruin the moment? Don't you have any fucking decency? He's right, Donnie. This is meant to be a celebration, my guy. Oh, give me a fucking break, would you, Barack? Come on. Everyone knows I'm the reason our Tick-Tock is so popular. I'm the fucking Beyoncé of the group, gentlemen. Always have been.
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00:02:57:29 - 00:03:17:24
Unknown
And you know it. So how about you say my fucking name? Donald Trump. Oh, for Christ's sake, George. I didn't mean fucking literally. You're almost worse than Joe and Barack Obama. Oh, I love broccoli. Oh, for the love of God, Joe. Well, would you look at that voice? The fucking vegetable has become self-aware. He's up, Donnie. Joe might be a vegetable, but he's our fucking vegetable.
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00:03:17:29 - 00:03:35:02
Unknown
Oh, I've never felt so loved. You sound like a fucking orphan, Joe. Be careful or your good buddy Barack might call in a couple of fucking abs on your ass. Oh, you buggin for that one, Donnie? Plead the Fifth. Because that's your answer to everything, George. I also would like to plead the Fifth. Oh, what a fucking surprise.
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00:03:35:07 - 00:03:55:16
Unknown
I've had just about enough of you fucking bullying us all, Donnie. Oh, boo hoo, GI. I got a friend here with me who saw Tick talk yesterday, and he really, really wants to talk to you. Your multiple personalities don't count as different people, Joe. You schizophrenic fucking squirrel. Heard you've been talking shit, Trump. What's good now? Pussy. Oh, What the fuck is he doing here?
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00:03:55:18 - 00:04:12:05
Unknown
This discord is for presidents whose wives don't have their testicles in their handbag. Billy boy, I'm just over here at my good friend Joe's house, and he told me what you had to say about me and your last Tic TAC. So come on, say it to my face, bitch. I'm a fat tub of shit. What? I said call him a fat tub of shit, Bill.
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00:04:12:08 - 00:04:27:27
Unknown
You're a fat tub of shit, Donald. At least I'm not friends with that fucking leper of a president sitting next to you, Bill. Good thing he's not friends with you. You might grope him. You fucking pervert. Oh, I wouldn't touch Joe with a ten foot fucking pole, Barack. Plus, I highly doubt he's any safer around all wild Bill.
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00:04:27:27 - 00:04:44:12
Unknown
Fucking stiff cock over there. Been a minute there, Bill. You remember the day I threw you out on your ass and took over the White House? Good times. How's the weather back home in Arkansas? Oh, you know how it is, Bush. The nights are nice, but the summers as hot as the 82nd floor of the South Tower. I'm sure you know all about that.
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00:04:44:12 - 00:05:03:07
Unknown
Right? Let me save you some fucking time there, Bill. He pleads the fifth. You're goddamn right, Barack. Anyway, just thought I'd let you sons of bitches know that Joe has sent me a good old invitation to participate in this little presidential discus thing you've got going on. Oh, for fuck's sake, Joe. Soon as I upgrade from Windows 98, it's fucking over for you boys.
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00:05:03:07 - 00:05:17:25
Unknown
That's fucking lit, Bill. Hot damn boys. The presidential five is here. Honestly, this discord is turning into a senior citizen fucking circus at this point. I can't believe Billy Boy is going to be the fifth member of the fifth. I love the fifth.
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00:05:17:25 - 00:05:36:24
Unknown
Hey, I got a question, you guys. Oh, this ought to be good. What's up, pimp? Do you guys believe in the afterlife? Like, if I die, do you think I could come back and visit you? You know, from beyond the grave? Well, I mean, I don't see why not. Yeah, to be honest, Joe, I thought you were already visiting us from beyond the grave, you clueless fucking poltergeist.
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00:05:36:25 - 00:05:54:01
Unknown
Oh, go in, Donald. I mean, you look about 11 years postmortem at this stage, my man. Not to mention the foul fuckin stench. Come on, Joe. Stick up for yourself, my dog. Oh, he's fighting for his fucking life out there, Barack. He hasn't got the time nor the brains for that. Oh, fuck you, Donny. Why don't you ever answer my question?
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00:05:54:01 - 00:06:13:10
Unknown
Seriously? Even with the whole multiverse thing, all you did was fucking roast me. Fine. Joe, you want a real answer to your multiverse question? Yes, I do. No, I don't believe there's a universe out there where we exist as superheroes. Oh, man. Just like I don't believe there's a universe out there where you exist with anything more than one eighth of a fucking brain.
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00:06:13:10 - 00:06:32:05
Unknown
Joe, you conscious fucking sofa cushion. Oh, that's a big bong. Good work, Donald. You know, I think I've finally figured it out. Donny. What's that, Joe? The whole reason behind your aggressive outbursts. I believe you were starved of affection in your childhood and I believe you were starved of fucking oxygen. And yours, Joe, you underdeveloped fetus. Kind of like the tower victims, right?
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00:06:32:05 - 00:06:49:21
Unknown
Bush. Kind of like Monica Lewinsky when she was choking on your. Don't fucking say it, George. I'm begging you. You're nothing but a fat fucking bully, Donald. Joe is ten times the president you ever were. He's also ten times the dementia patient Donald will ever be. But we don't talk about that, do we, Bill? Yes, we do. How about you stay in your fucking lane or what, George?
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00:06:49:23 - 00:07:08:16
Unknown
I ain't Rapunzel, and I don't live in no fucking tower. So I guess you're out of your depth on this one. Stop it, you guys. You're turning this discord into a presidential fucking debate. Oh, you don't have to get involved in any presidential debates, Joe. From what I can tell, you're too busy battling it out with radiation poisoning from your own fucking bodily aroma.
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00:07:08:20 - 00:07:25:03
Unknown
Fuck up, Dunny. You got sweat coming out your fucking toes, my guy. How about you lay off of him? How about you go forge another fucking birth certificate, Barack, you lying piece of shit. You better plead it, Barack. I guess I plead the fifth. Hey, you're a natural. You know who else is a natural, George? Joe is. Hey, I am.
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00:07:25:03 - 00:07:42:15
Unknown
He's a natural fucking phenomenon, my man. I don't know how he even gets dressed in the morning. Oh, I can tell you that, Donnie. I get dressed right next to Melania, you bright orange bitch. Now, that's what you call a fucking bing bong bush. No, Bill, A real bing bong would be if we told the people what really happened on the island belonging to your good buddy Jeffrey.
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00:07:42:16 - 00:08:02:02
Unknown
No idea what you're talking about. Nope. None. Sorry. Guess that concludes it then. Gentlemen, Alzheimer's is contagious. Oh, hop off my dick, Donald. Better stay away from Joe there, Billy boy. Or you might accidentally find yourself on another plane to that same island. Right. Come to think of it, you know all about that island, don't you, Trump? Now, now, that's no way to talk to the 45th President of the United States.
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00:08:02:02 - 00:08:14:16
Unknown
Bill. Wait. I thought you were the 45th president of the United States, George. No, I was the 43rd president and the 20th terrorist behind the attack on the World Trade Center back in 2000. One big bong bitch.
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00:08:14:16 - 00:08:29:13
Unknown
Okay, so what do you want to do today? Thugs. I say we play some fucking war zone. We can't play war zone, Bill. There's five of us now. Oh, man. How are we supposed to tear it up on quads now? I'm not sure, but I think. Oh, here we go. I think your quads tear up every time you get out of bed in the morning.
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00:08:29:13 - 00:08:47:08
Unknown
Joe, you expired piece of pastrami. Well, that didn't take long. Nope. New record. Fucking gas, though, wasn't it? Kiss my ass, Bush. You and Donny are a couple of downright Republicans, and I've had just about enough. Hey, yo, Joe, with the clap back, son. Holy shit. Your brain moved so fast, I swear I saw sparks fly. Oh, they weren't fucking sparks.
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00:08:47:08 - 00:09:02:12
Unknown
You saw Barack? No, sir. Those were the fucking fairies he talks to in the middle of all his televised fucking appearances. Oh, fuck you, Donny. We got ourselves a good game of checkers Here, boys. Can we get back to the issue at hand? Trump How are we going to decide who gets to chase some fucking dubs in war zone?
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00:09:02:12 - 00:09:22:27
Unknown
Yeah. Thanks, Bill. There, it's decided. Wait, did you just kick Joe? Tell him, George. Donny pleads the motherfucking fifth. Barack. Booyah! Fuck you and Mama. Bama. Barack fucked you. Just say, did you just fucking kick me? Donny? How dare you, man? This is my fool. Did you guys hear something? Oh, cut it out, Trump. That's just fucking cruel.
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00:09:22:29 - 00:09:40:07
Unknown
Stop kicking me, Donny, you fat fucking oracle. Well, you should kick yourself for the shit you say in this discord. Joe. It's like gaming with the fucking Riddler. Oh, fuck you, Donny. This is my discord. And if you don't like it, you can can stay gone. Joe, We hardly knew you. You're a fucking savage for that, Donald. He just wants some friends.
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00:09:40:07 - 00:09:56:21
Unknown
Well, he ain't going to fucking find any here, Barrack, asshole. Maybe once the schizophrenia kicks in, he'll finally have someone new to talk to. Why? You always got to be on his fucking case, Donny. Oh, he's a case. All right. Has it ever occurred to you that the only reason he keeps coming back here every day is because he wants to spend time with you?
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00:09:56:24 - 00:10:16:10
Unknown
Are you really that dense? My g stop that shit, Barack. You're not going to get me. Are we the villains after all? No. Don't let him get you, George. Stay strong, my man. It's true, Trump. That's a good fucking man. You just kicked from this discord server. A real American man. And as much as you don't want to believe it, he's a fucking patriot and he loves you.
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00:10:16:18 - 00:10:34:25
Unknown
Oh, well, Bill, I. I don't know what to say. Give him a chance, Donald. Yeah, Give him a chance. I guess I. I guess I could. You know, he isn't always such a bad guy. I mean, I know we don't always get along, and I know he stole the presidency from me, but we've had some laughs, right? We, Donald.
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00:10:34:28 - 00:10:52:01
Unknown
All right, all right, all right. I've had some laughs, but maybe Joe deserves a chance. I mean, maybe I just didn't realize it until now. But I think Joe might be the best friend I've ever. Hello, guys, It's me, Bo. Bo, Joe Biden. Oh, I can't with this fucking clown, Barack. What the fuck you doing back here, Joe?
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00:10:52:01 - 00:11:11:01
Unknown
You rancid fucking piss pot. Oh, man. So close, Joe. Who's Joe? I think you got me confused. My name is Bo. Bo Jayden. I think you've got yourself confused there, Joe, you feeble fucking grasshopper. Your brain's a fucking conundrum. It looks like we're back to regular scheduled programing, boys. Oh, God damn it, Joe.
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00:11:11:01 - 00:11:29:25
Unknown
Ladies and gentlemen, all rise for the honorable and magnificent. For the honorable and magnificent. Much more handsome than Joe. For the honorable, magnificent. Much more handsome than Joe. The esteemed judge Donald J. Trump. Thank you, Bailiff Bush. You're not a fucking judge, Donald. Quiet now, Barack. The judge is speaking. Oh, for God's sake. Go ahead, Your Honor. Thank you, Joe.
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00:11:29:26 - 00:11:47:14
Unknown
Court is now in session. Everyone, please take your seats. Wait. Take them where? It's a fucking figure of speech, Joe, for crying out loud, you fucking space cadet. Play nice, Trump speak when spat at Bill. This doesn't concern you. And clearly your cholesterol levels don't concern you. Donald, you fat fucking troll doll. That's it, Bill. You're done. Fucked up.
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00:11:47:14 - 00:12:05:05
Unknown
Now I'm holding you in contempt of court and I'm holding you in contempt of a healthy fucking diet. Donald, you stupid son of a bitch. Okay, now that that's settled, could the defendant please stand? I'm already standing. Judge. Wait. Why are you already standing? Joe That's how I play video games. Why the fuck would that be how you play video games, Joe?
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00:12:05:10 - 00:12:22:20
Unknown
It's more immersive. We'll stop saluting the fucking flag and sit your meerkat ass down from time to time. Joe. Jesus Christ. Okay, so you wait. Do you want me to sit down and then stand up, or do I just sit down? Ah, I'm really fucking confused, you guys. I'm scared. Just fucking forget about it, Joe. For the love of God, don't piss yourself too late.
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00:12:22:27 - 00:12:41:11
Unknown
Oh, for fuck's sake, Joe. You got to get yourself a pair of fucking Pampers, my guy. Holy shit. I hope you don't use the restroom in your house. Joseph, because you relieving yourself would definitely smell more like an outside job. So what's an inside job smell like then? Bush smells like the fucking fifth. Barack. Are you sorry? Sacks of shit done hijacking my fucking courtroom.
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00:12:41:15 - 00:12:59:11
Unknown
Sorry, Judge. Oh, don't worry about that one. Donny. George is more concerned with hijacking planes than he is courtrooms, my guy. Ooh, shit. Good one, Barack. You're on trial. Next. Bush. Can we please get back to my trial? Wait. Huh? Oh, yeah. Sorry. Are you aware of the charges of which you've been accused, Joe? Yes, I am, Your Honor.
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00:12:59:12 - 00:13:17:21
Unknown
Good. Good. So in the case of President Joe Biden versus crippling fucking Alzheimer's, how do you plead? Not guilty, Judge. Hell, yeah. You the man, Joe. Overruled. Sorry. I sentence you to death. Scratch that. You're fucked, Joe. I demand a retrial. Okay, Joe, how do you plead? Well, I plead The court find you guilty. Case closed. Stop playing around.
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00:13:17:21 - 00:13:36:21
Unknown
This is serious. Okay, fine, Joe. But you leave me no choice. If you won't take the early plea, I'm going to have to prove it to you. Do your worst, judge. The prosecution calls the first president of the United States, Mr. George fucking Washington to the stand. No way. Hello, I'm George Washington. Joe Biden is massive fucking Alzheimer's.
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00:13:36:26 - 00:13:55:21
Unknown
You don't really sound like George Washington. And just what the fuck is George Washington supposed to sound like? Barack? That's a that's actually a fair fucking point, Donald. Does George Washington actually think those things of me? I don't know, Joe. Why don't you ask him? From the look of you, you aren't far off visiting him, you honorary fucking burn victim.
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00:13:55:25 - 00:14:01:04
Unknown
Wait, so does that mean I'm not guilty? Oh, no, you are all busted.
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00:14:01:04 - 00:14:19:19
Unknown
You guys will never guess what happened to me today. Did you suffer an embolism, Joe? What? No concussion, No cardiac fucking arrest? No, none of that. Then tell your story. Walking. I don't want to fucking hear about it. Come on, Danny. Let Joe tell his story. Yeah, let Joe tell his story. Wait, wait, wait. Did you just fucking refer to yourself in the third person?
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00:14:19:22 - 00:14:35:02
Unknown
Who are you? Fucking flavor Flay. Why are we scrapping pimps? I don't know, Bill. How about you ask Grandpa fucking pickles over there? I don't even like pickles, Danny. Oh, dear. Jill says I shouldn't let you bully me anymore. So I think I should put my foot down. I think we should put you down, Joe. You wrinkly fucking pinata.
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00:14:35:05 - 00:14:52:16
Unknown
I'm starting to think we should just delete this Discord. Oh, yeah. Just like your wife deleted those fucking emails, right? Billy boy, you keep my wife's name out your fucking mouth. Donald. On some for Will Smith. Shit. Careful throwing those kinds of haymakers there. Bill wouldn't want to see old Arthur Arthritis break any fucking bones, now, would we?
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00:14:52:19 - 00:15:13:19
Unknown
Fuck you, Trump. Bring my wife into this again. I dare you. Ooh, yeah. God forbid we mess with the WWE tag team champions. He'll Billary fucking Clinton. Oh, shit. WrestleMania Bing bong. That's a three zip toe tag body bag. Good work, Donald. Leave Bill alone, Donahue. Wide set, walrus looking ass. Best not to get involved here, Joe. You already got a head like a smashed in fucking cantaloupe.
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00:15:13:23 - 00:15:30:03
Unknown
One more not could kill you. You're just mad because Jimmy Carter said you were the worst president in the history of this country, you petty asshole. Papa Jim's in hospice care, Joe. Not so sure we should be sipping any of his fucking Kool-Aid. You sundried fucking tomato if anyone looks like a fucking tomato here, Donnie. It's you, homie.
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00:15:30:06 - 00:15:47:18
Unknown
Oh, shit. I almost forgot you were there, Barack. You know, kind of like your forgettable term in office. Oof, that's heat, Donald. Stay swinging on these fools. What are you, his fucking cheerleader? If you're so into collapsing Towers Bush, how about you tackle Trump's next? How about you tackle an AA meeting, Bill? Or better yet, how about sex addicts?
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00:15:47:18 - 00:16:03:25
Unknown
Anonymous? Holy shit, Georgie, be with the bazooka. Yeah. Today and on nine 11/5 Amendment. Represent it, mother fucker. Why do you always dangle that in front of our face? Bush I can dangle my nuts in front of your face instead, if you prefer. Joe New York. Now, ain't no one need to see that shit. Yeah, that's fucking disgusting.
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00:16:03:25 - 00:16:22:10
Unknown
Bush You're the specialist on all things disgusting. Bill. How's Monica doing? Wait, What the fuck do you call me? I said Monica, Barack, not mine, you know. Never mind. Yikes. Close one, Donald. Better not let me catch you. Lack in blood. Oh, we straight, homie. Saul Kosher. Anyway, as I was trying to say today, I was sorry, General Patton, no time for your fucking war stories today.
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00:16:22:17 - 00:16:32:08
Unknown
See you tomorrow. Count Dracula. First to WrestleMania, Bing Bong now, eh? Transylvania, Bing bong. What are the chances nine out of 11. I can live with that.
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00:16:32:08 - 00:16:46:08
Unknown
Have you guys seen that Tik Tok trend where you take a person's name and make rhyming jokes about it? That sounds made up, Joe. No, Donny, It's real. I swear it. Fill us in. J. Bizzle. Well, it's kind of hard to explain. It's just like where you were. Are you fucking what, Joe? See, I don't know how to forget it.
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00:16:46:08 - 00:17:08:03
Unknown
I'll just demonstrate. Go ahead, Joe. Donald Trump. Donald runs like for us. That's Donald Trump. Oh, I get it. Donald Fad is shit. That's Donald Trump. Good one, Bill. Oh, I see how it fucking is. Bill Clinton. Eat him alive. Donny, Bill's wife wears the fucking pants. That's Bill's Simple. Simple doesn't rhyme with Clinton. Trump Nice try. Who said anything about rhyming fossil Dick Donald got kicked from office.
​
00:17:08:04 - 00:17:25:07
Unknown
That's Donald Dump. There you go. B, man, Now you're getting it. Why the fuck are all these about me? Donald is a fucking deadbeat. That's Donald Trump. Donald's going to shoot you with a shotgun. That's Donald fucking pump Joe off. Donald's always mad. That's Donald Trump. Oh, yeah. Donald's going to beat the brakes off you at the next election.
​
00:17:25:11 - 00:17:45:05
Unknown
That's Donald Thump oof! Sick sizzle. Don Diesel. No, that's cap shit was mid up your game demand. Okay. Barack Obama Barack likes to bomb civilians. That's Barack Osama. Come on, dog. That's the obvious joke. Fuck out of here. Which your goofy ass talk like a bitch. Get walked like a bitch. Barack. George Bush. George drops towers and pleads the fifth.
​
00:17:45:05 - 00:18:03:05
Unknown
That's George Bush. Oh, shit. But he got that dog in him. Mouth shut. Case shut, bitch. Barack Obama. Barack's mom, dead fam, That's Barack. No, momma, the fuck you just say about Momma Obama. Joe Biden. Joe's votes are on the dip. That's Joe Biden. Leave me alone. Bush Joe don't want the fucking smoking. That's Joe Biden. Oh yeah.
​
00:18:03:05 - 00:18:21:01
Unknown
Well, guess what? Joe Still the fucking president, pimp. That's Joe presiding. Oh, shit. That was he Biden with the bodies, boy. Yeah, well, Joe still looks like a fucking corpse. That's Joe died in weird Donald. That's why I always spell Joe with a K. Wait, where's Decay? Oh, that's easy. It's in his bones. PA bone decay. Suck it, buddy boy.
​
00:18:21:04 - 00:18:33:21
Unknown
Oh, would you look at that? It's the fucking tower, tough girls. Bill said Tower tough girls. That's Bill Hinton. Yeah, well, Barack Obama should be arrested. That's Barack Montana. Oof! Guantanamo. Bing Bong Killed it, Donald.
​
00:18:33:21 - 00:18:50:17
Unknown
Boys, I need your help. Pick a number between one and ten. Okay, let's see. Ten. I said between one and ten. Ten is between one and ten. Ten is ten. Joe. For fuck's sake. Exactly. So what am I missing? A few thousand fucking brain cells. From the sounds of it, Joe, it's a fucking miracle You remember to breathe.
​
00:18:50:18 - 00:19:07:28
Unknown
Leave him alone. Trump. He answered your question. Fucking barely. Bill He used all his mental fucking resources on that response, and it made all of zero sense. But you said to pick a number between one and ten, and I didn't want to pick one. That's too obvious. So I pick ten. Why are your only fucking options between one and ten, Joe?
​
00:19:07:28 - 00:19:26:11
Unknown
The fuck you asking me for? It was your question, Matt. I moody. Now, who the fuck is Matt? I Moody. Not one of your 42 personalities there, Joe. Got any more to introduce to us, or are you all fucking set? He's from Harry Potter. Danny, look it up. Oh, well, isn't that fucking fitting? Trust the Wizard of Washington to make a fucking Harry Potter reference.
​
00:19:26:11 - 00:19:44:09
Unknown
I'm a what? Settle down there, Merlin. Hate to break it to you, but magic isn't real. Hey, fuck you. You take that back. Cut it out. Donnie. Let him believe, would you? That's not true, is it, Barack? Of course not, Joe. Donald was. Donald was just making a joke. So Harry Potter goes to Hogwarts? Yes, Joe. Harry Potter goes to Hogwarts with Ron in Germany.
​
00:19:44:12 - 00:20:02:24
Unknown
It's her money. But yeah, Joe, they're all there. And Voldemort too. He's real, right? Oh, he sure is, Joe. Last I heard, he was the fucking president of the United States going by the name of Joe Biden. Shika Donnie brought the Voldemort bars. Well, no, that can't be. I'm not Voldemort. Mubarak. No, you're not fucking Voldemort, Joe. Phew.

So let’s get started with Season 5 which to me is the worst season in Cobra Kai.
The pacing is terrible and it’s way too rushed. The season starts with Terry expanding his business and trying to make Cobra Kai global but at the end he easily loses to Danny and gets thrown in jail, even worse Kreese gets out of jail by escaping so I don’t know the direction they’re headed for Season 6 of Cobra Kai which imo will be the last season probably.
Also Miguel’s storyline with finding his dad made no sense, it felt rushed and unnecessary, his dad is some big mafia boss and he just lets him go and suddenly everything is back to normal? There was no reason to add that if they were going to go that route.
Kenny’s character is annoying at this point, and it made no sense for him to beat Hawk who’s much older, more experienced in fighting, and stronger but I guess they needed some bs way for him to beat Hawk. Mike Barnes was the best addition to be added in S5 but his screen time was so limited. In the final fight he got knocked out and barely did anything and funny enough he’s supposed to be the strongest fighter out of Danny, Chozen, and Johnny.
There’s my issues with Season 5, I have no idea what’s going to happen in Season 6.

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Anchorman 2, HD iTunes, HD vudu
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The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, 4k iTunes, HD vudu
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The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1, 4k iTunes, HD vudu
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With season 44 at its end, we can now paint a clearer picture of how this season was done. And how it ranks with the new era seasons. I’ll start with the pros of this season. Also keep in mind this is my opinion.
Pro:Yam Yam and Carolyn. These two are what makes this season standout in my mind. These two are honestly some of the best casting choices in the new era. In a era full of gamebots, these two players felt like actual people with emotions and content outside of “gamebot strategy”. Danny and Carson were also pretty good casting with the Tika three being the most memorable alliance we’ve had a long time.
Pro: Camp life. While I wish we got more of it, I’m a fan of the few scenes with camp life we got this season. The Matthew Med quit episode is one of if not my favorite episode from this season solely because of the Josh, Yam Yam, and Carolyn trio.
Pro/con: Lopsided editing. I don’t know about you but I loved watching Carolyn and Yam Yam. So I’m fine with them taking a bit of screentime. Although I know some people may not be very happy with this and may consider it a con.
Pro: Cool winner. Yam Yam as a winner is probably my favorite winner from the new era. I believe the edit did him and his game justice.
Pro: Lack of twists later on. While the early game was dominated by twists(mentioned down below), the later half being relatively twist free was great. It’s almost like trusting the players to play the game is better than shoving multiple twists into the game(who would’ve thought!/s).
Con: Lopsided casting. Aside from Yam Yam, Carolyn, Carson, and Danny, much of the players this season felt forgettable and not given much to do.
Con: 26 days. Yes this flaw is gonna be here. I will never like this change no matter how much Jeff and Production try to say it’s a good thing. It’s terrible and needs to end. Bring back 39 days.
Con: Firemaking f4. Same reasoning above applies here. Get rid of it.
Con: Reusing puzzles and challenges. With Carson being able to practice these puzzles and challenges at home because survivor reuses them so much, I hope this is a wake up call to Production and co to try new puzzles and challenges. Because it got pretty anticlimactic at times that Carson is probably gonna finish the puzzle first.
Con:The Sanctuary. Jeff stop trying to make the Sanctuary happen. It’s not gonna happen.
Con: Twists in the beginning. Early on the twists this season were so dumb. The player swap, earn the merge and the Matt elimination episode twists were beyond annoying and invasive. Not only that, the fake idols ended up not even doing anything that important so that felt like a waste of time.
Con: The jury format. If production doesn’t see that FOUR 7-1-0 voting results in a row indicate a problem with the new jury system, then they are lost. Overall, this new jury format kind of sucks as it pushes group think over individual choice and they need to go back to how it used to be.
Con: Forced Positivity. Jeff not everything needs to be a motivational and emotional moment. Please stop they’re uncomfortable and don’t feel natural.
Con: Reunion show. Hosting this immediately after the two finalists lose their chance at a million dollars is kind of screwed up. Like you can tell Carolyn and Heidi were devastated. At least give them a week to get out of the game for a bit before announcing the results.
Overall: Carolyn and Yam Yam help carry this season. If you love these two then this season(for a new era one) is pretty good. If you don’t care for Carolyn or Yam Yam then rip to you you’re not gonna like this season as it’s got plenty of new era shortcomings. For a new era season I give 44 a 9 out of ten. Comparing 44 to classic seasons though this is a 7 out of ten for me. Could be ranked higher if it wasn’t for how twist heavy the pre merge and early merge felt.
42>44>>43>>>41.

Hey all,
Big NFL fan here, but I don’t really follow CFB. I’m visiting New Orleans in the fall and wanted to catch a Saints game but they’re away that weekend. I was looking at college games which I believe my options are Tulane or LSU if we rent a car. Do you think it’s worth going up to Baton-Rouge for the game? Tulane also seems to be cheaper, would like to have some thoughts on those of you who’ve been! If there are other good options for a good football game around I’d appreciate it too
Edit: they’re playing the Gators and from the comments in here LSU seems like the clear winner!! Thanks to everyone