We will be going to Ibiza for the third time in May, second with a child.
Last time we went my son couldn’t walk far so we didn’t get too adventurous but this time he’s better at walking so can go off the beaten track a little bit more. We have a car for the 10 days and are staying in San Miguel (we previously have stayed in Es Cana and Santa Eulalia)
We picked San Miguel this time with it being close to Bennerias and not too far from Xcarra (we enjoy kayaking at Xcarra, does anyone know if the guy who is always there will be there in May?) We love Cala sant Vincent as it’s a lovely beach/not too busy/calm water and nice places to eat so anywhere else like that appriciated. Last year we drove up to the highest point, we’ve visited the abandoned club and hotel (love the cute little beach near the hotel) also any market recommendations are recommended as we have always missed them. Any other good kayaking spots where we can take a 2 year old would be good too.
Thank you in advance for any recommendations!

1508

The Knights Hospitaller lead a series of raids against the Ottomans in a mix of galliots and frigates. They were focused on the Aegean territories and more importantly, the shipping therein. There was also a small force under the command of Andrew Barton who struck out at the coast of Morocco, but the great distance needed to sail out and back as well as the small force limited its effectiveness to gather wealth. The Greek and Ionian coastlines are targeted with great effectiveness by the larger Knights fleet, and the Ottomans had not yet prepared a defense force. However, eventually an Ottoman response force was able to defeat and repulse the pirates off the Thracian coast. The Knights also struck out at shipping that looking to end up in Muslim port, and that meant that multiple times they attacked often Italian merchant shipping as well. While they did not enslave the sailors like they often did for Muslim ships, they were still happy to often take its cargo. This would help the Hospitallers return with fat pockets.
Knights Hospitaller gain ƒ335,221 in revenue

March-May 1509

Barbarossa Blues

In the reaction of both the general Italian Wars and in particular the Barbarossa Brother's despoiling of Elba fleets across the Mediterranean Sea had gathered in activity. First, the Spaniards continued their general annual activity throughout the Mediterranean, one of the few naval forces constantly projecting power throughout the Sea. They had already gathered in January, and moved to assist the French and Papal fleet that was gathering in Lazio to remove the Muslim pirates from the Tyrrhenian Sea and follow up with an attack on the haven of Tripoli. Meanwhile, the Barbarossa Brothers had prepared three fleets to strike deep into the Western Mediterranean. The first Muslim fleet was lead by Oruc Reis, attempting to raid the Tyrrhenian Sea directly into the Spanish and French-Papal fleet. However, the latter fleet was having significant logistical and organizational issues as the complicated structure and disparate forces took its toll. The Spanish had prepared earlier than anyone else though, and were able to quickly respond to Oruc's thievery after only a few successful raids. Greatly outnumbered, Oruc was forced to eventually retreat back to Djerba after losing his galleass in a battle against a large group of frigates. Oruc had originally wanted to fall back to another secret base, but there were major issues in its creation and the fear of a retaliation force greatly superior to his own forced his deeper retreat. Additionally, the Papal-French fleet was well aware of the Barbarossa's base on the island of Gorgona. As they torched the base, the second and third fleets struck out to Algeria to take port and attack Spanish shipping on the other side of the Mediterranean. However, the third fleet was caught by Spanish patrols in the region to begin with, and forced to return and rendezvous with Oruc's remnants in Djerba. Only the second fleet was able to make it to the Zayyanids and strike. A force of Egyptian ships and soldiers also make their way into the pirate bases of Tripoli and Djerba, hoping to eventually strike out as well.
At this point, the final fleet to attack Tripoli had set off. The fleet itself was massive, combining the substantial Genovese fleet with the Papal-French force and the Spanish who sailed separately, along side them. Many of the galleys were full of marines and well-paid veterans of the Italian Wars which had just recently died down. The Barbarossa fleets in the area with the Egyptians attempted to slow down the attackers and capture or sink stragglers, but the opposing force was much too massive and concentrated to allow them to make any decisive action. Oruc himself was forced to flee Tripoli days before the Christian fleet arrived, knowing to stay was a death trap. The Christian fleet dropped multiple forces off in different coastal locations both near and far from the haven itself, while preparing a main landing force. Galleys and galliots used ship-based artillery to damage the lacking defenses of Tripoli itself, greatly damaging fortifications at the cost of a fair few ships. The main landing goes smoothly, and the converging attack quickly leads to the fortress and town of Tripoli being brutally sacked. Though Jacopo V of House Appiani, ostensibly the organizer of the reprisal raid for Elba, tried to limit the barbarity of his allies and soldiers it was to no avail. The army taking it was much, much larger than the location could supply or its population was and communication between all the different soldiers and camps made organization downright anarchic at times. As the fires of the first week of looting crackle in the night sky, the Spanish then bid their farewells claiming that they have achieved their goal of helping destroy Tripoli. While the Genovese and the Papal-French fleet remain, the Spanish sail off to Djerba where one of the other major pirate havens remain. While limited to just the Spanish, a similar story is heard there as the Spaniards lay siege. Once again artillery strikes and numerical superiority lend itself to a bloody, but successful series of assaults. Back in Tripoli, Jacopo hoped to find many of his subjects who had been captured and put in chains by the Muslim pirates. By the grace of god, he found his relative Beatrice d'Appiano d'Aragona who had been kept as a prized prisoner. Many of the other captured slaves had been solved off by the time of the return attack, and the razing of Tripoli had killed off many of those who had remained. The lack of supplies and dangerous weather forced the Papal-French and Genovese fleets to return to Italy and Naples to regain supplies, do small repairs, and plan for the future.

Aegean Escapade

The Christians had not gathered the only large fleet in the Mediterranean. The Ottomans had deployed their massive fleet in full force, having been recently rebuilt in one of the only arsenals around. Alongside the deployment of their fleet Sultan Bayezid had called upon an army of tens of thousands to serve as marines, besiegers, and soldiers for hire. The first prize Bayezid had set his eyes on was the Genovese colony of Chios, a relatively small but economically important island. The island was the only location suitable for the growth of mastic), worth its weight in gold. Many involved on Chios itself had their entire lives based around the growth and trade of the good, and Bayezid was happy to threaten the security of such a lifestyle. In this, he had gained the loyalty of the Governor of Chios on behalf of Genoa. Lacking any response from the Christian world, Genoa herself included, that secured a hope of victory and security in the wake of the Ottoman fleet Bayezid found good news when the fortress and town of Chios had surrendered the moment Ottoman troops landed. There were a number of other fortifications established on the island, and many of them either through zealotry or a lack of trust in the word of the Muslim fought to the end. This meant Chios had not been fully secured or conquered until the second week of April. With Tripoli about to be set to siege at that time, the Ottoman fleet then prepared the attack on the true prized jewel Bayezid sought - Rhodes.
The island fortress of the Knights Hospitaller was one of the most formidable defensive structures anywhere. The Knights Hospitaller had maintained a constant schedule of improvements and additions to the fortress, in recent particularly in ways to counter the development of siege artillery from both land and sea. The Knights had a constant cheap labor source - the slaves that their income was also dependent on - and in turn developed their own teams of masons and engineers. Its harbor was protected by a massive iron chain and a recent improvement had doubled the length of the dry ditch. Tenailles were created along both the inner and outside rings of internal ditches, meant to dramatically limit the ability of attacking forces to utilize numerical superiority. They had also established their own artillery force to be used defensively, and the battlements necessary to compliment them. The Ottomans vast strength on both sea and land outside of the fortress, however, meant that they were able to easily land massive groups of men who encamped on the island. The Ottomans offer a no strings attached surrender offer, which is immediately refused by the Knights. The Ottomans return with the digging of their own defensive ditches and earthworks to compliment the siege artillery brought to bear. They had also brought with them one of the largest collections of sappers ever seen in history, meant to undermine the massive fortifications with specifically targeted locations to essentially create weak spots where there otherwise is perfect balance. The back and forth nature of the attacker and defender on Rhodes had meant that the Ottomans were repulsed with relative ease only twenty-nine years ago. Their commander, Hersekzade Ahmed Pasha, aimed to return with their own new developments to challenge the bastion.
This experience lead Ahmed Pasha to adopt a more cautious policy regarding the siege. Hoping to utilize the highly trained and numerous sapping companies accompanying his army, he limits the artillery usage at both land and sea and is careful regarding the use of assaults. The Ottoman artillery is focused on the Hill of St. Stephen where they have the best angle against the Posts of Germany, Spain, and Auvergne. Each Post was a unique "tongue", or in this case an ethno-linguistic group of significant standing within the brotherhood of the Knights Hospitaller. They were each therein their own fortress, often with their own secondary or even tertiary walls, from the shared primary exterior. It was here that progress would be made up until the month of May, when events elsewhere would come close to Rhodes. The Spain Post has a large breach caused by the clever use of land mines on a specific location continuously, something impossible for the defenders to repair mid-siege. Post Germany also has significant wear and tear from effective cannonfire, but Ahmed Pasha is hesitant on its usefulness. Post Auvergne has struggled significantly, with Knights defensive cannoneers wrecking havoc on portions of the Ottoman siege camp. The Ottomans had also set up smaller groups against Posts England and Provence, where the Knights defenders have been able to retaliate in great effect. The Ottoman fleet in many ways serves as a mobile wagon train, shipping in massive logistical efforts to keep the island army supplied and in high spirit.

June-December 1509

The Battle of Rhodes

The Genovese had every intent on attacking the Ottomans and assisting the Knights in defense of both Rhodes and Chios. They needed support, however, to hope to meet the strength of the Empire. Pope Martin VI had lent the Papal fleet, and the French theirs, to save the Knights as well. The Knights fleet still existed in harbor as well, capable of sallying out to assist the Christian fleet in a potential battle. It was then decided that a recovery force would be deployed, in the aim of defeating the Ottoman force in full. There were already troubles brewing as they set off, however, as they soon found themselves entirely dependent on the good will of Venetian ports beyond Naples. They could not make the careful but effective long sail to the non-Venetian Aegean ports, Chios and Rhodes, for the Turks controlled access now. This would continue to be a thorn in the side of the Christians.
In the middle of June, the Christian fleet sprawled itself out against the Ottoman fleet who prepared a defensive position alongside the coast of Rhodes on their left flank. The Christian fleet held a very small advantage numerically in galleys and frigates, and an equal share of galliots, but they were greatly outnumbered in the important supply and transport bergantins. The Ottomans may have a smaller force of galleys, but they had a much superior collection of war galleys, forged in the Ottoman arsenal. They also included a sizable amount of carracks and two galleasses. Both sides have brought on their decks large collections of professional soldiers meant to support the marines in boarding actions.
The two sides go into formation in different styles. Additionally, the Etesian Winds were lighter than normal and at the back of the Christian fleet, giving them some help on the attack. The Genovese and their allies go into a straight line, organized loosely by ranking local commander. The Ottomans oppose them in a Y formation, with the outstretched branches intending to be able to envelop small gaps and prevent retreats while the rear line reinforces. Shortly thereafter, under the scorching sun, cannonfire rings out as the lines approach the first melee. While the artillery in use is still under much need of development and improvements, the Ottoman cannons are able to destroy a large portion of the Genovese bergantins upon approach. This would carry into the initial clash as the Ottoman left and center flanks were able to push into the now V-shaped formation of the Christian fleet within the top half of their Y fleet. The right flank, itself approaching the beach of Rhodes, was nonetheless repulsed by the Knights own fleet. As the melee develops and initial casualties start to escalate, the initial results turn on their head. The Ottomans put extra pressure on their right flank to stem the initial loss and in turn was able to push deep into the Christian fleet, taking a number of the Christian galliots. This came with a loss of support in the center and left, where the Christians had pushed the Ottomans to the point that their right flank was at risk of being cut off. This devolved quickly into a stalemate itself, both sides locked in very bloody combat. This changes when a force of Italian venturieri, commanded to do so by a Perugian Baglioni, landed on the beaches of Rhodes that had been untended by Ottoman defenses focused on the citadel of Rhodes. They were able to outflank the Ottoman ships, as the battle at sea acted in many ways as an extension of the land beside it. This maneuver was able to put pressure on the Ottomans once more, though the smaller size of the Christian fleet was now making itself felt to Andrea Doria and the other admirals. Even though the beach landing had so far been a success, morale within the Christian fleet was not strong against the Turkish tide. This showed itself as the battle waged on and on, where the Christians continued to slowly and painfully gain an advantage. The issue came when a particularly effective deployment of the Ottoman galleasses with a handful of carracks in the center of the Y formation straightened out much of the initial battle line. Both sides at this point had called upon all of their reinforcements, and the Christian fleet was now noticeably smaller though both were much smaller than they had started. The center push could, if not remedied immediately, threaten to potentially cut the Christian fleet in half. Simultaneously, the Ottoman siege camp at Rhodes had gathered a raiding party that had defeated and captured the landed Italian venturieri. The Christian admirals were able to manage an organized fight that consolidated their forces without losing en masse, and they enacted heavy damage to their enemies. Their soldiers, however, eventually cried out for release and were forced to give the day up. The Christian fleet was once again wholly dependent on the Venetian ports of the region and what they could, and wanted to, provide. This allowed the Ottomans to hound them until they were out of the Aegean. There was no attempt to return, with much of the cohesion lost and the Ottomans in an even stronger position.
The siege of Rhodes raged on in the back as well. The brothers Knights had impressively prepared a new set of earthworks had been built in the location of the earlier land mine breach in Post Spain. News was worse elsewhere though, as Post Germany and Post Auvergne have recently had multiple portions crumble against sustained Ottoman bombardment. Ahmed Pasha then ordered the first set of assaults in the siege on those two Posts. Post Auvergne ends up being a bloody affair for the Ottomans, as thousands of Azabs die in the breaches by small groups of Hospitallers. While there were also thousands dead in Post Germany, there the Ottomans had been able to hold a position within the walls. The Hospitallers were forced to give up the first spot within the primary walls.
This situation worsens for the Knights as a strong corps of Janissaries then move into Post Germany, where they kill a force of defending brothers and then make another breach with mines on the second set of walls. Assaults are also held on Post England and Post Auvergne, with the first assault establishing a beachhead before being repulsed by a follow up attack. Post Auvergne shares the same fate, the second time the Ottomans have failed to take it. Post Spain is assaulted, and with the Knights only having earthworks remaining, are easily pushed back. The Ottomans now hold the entirety of Post Spain and Post Germany, but all other Post have either held or are untouched. Morale within the Knights in terms of the strength of their beloved citadel is unbothered. Their morale in terms of the belief that their storehouses will remain full and the Ottoman fleet dispersed by the monarchs of Christendom are not as strong. Ahmed Pasha has successfully taken portions of the citadel, something not yet achieved. Victory is not entirely at hand yet though, and the siege has eaten a terrible cost to the Empire. A cost that would become all the more painful when news hits from Konstantiniyye...

Earthshakes in Konstantiniyye

While philosophers immediately began to ponder the meaning of the earthquake in the capital, the reality was the city was horrendously damaged. A few thousand immediately died in the quake, with the neighborhoods of Galata, Buyukcekmece, and Izmit suffering hundreds of destroyed homes and mosques. Portions of the Wall of Constantinople collapsed and the brand new Bayezid II Mosque had its dome completely destroyed and foundations damaged. Only the Hagia Sophia remained mostly intact. The Sultan's own sickness included, the future certainly does not bode well for calm and serenity for the Osmanoglu. Expectations are for the all the issues of 1509 to be resolved quickly and without fail, lest the patience of some wear thin.
TL;DR

• Majority of Barbarossa fleets destroyed or forced to retreat
  
• Tripoli razed, heavy casualties to Christian forces, Oruc Reis flees
  
• Djerba also falls to the Spanish, Hizir Reis raids from Algeria
  
• Christian fleet primarily lead by the Genovese engage the Ottoman fleet
  
• Ottoman combined fleet and army had taken Chios and set siege to Rhodes
  
• Ottoman fleet wins with heavy loss of ships and men
  
• The citadels of Rhodes are under severe threat with the Ottomans near the interior, but has not fallen yet
  
• Konstantiniyye has been hit by a major earthquake, massive loss of human life and urban development as well as defenses. A certain bridge has been a casualty too
  

Everyone is different, please consultant with your own doctonutritionist/healer before you follow these habits, I am just a one of the Psoriasis suffers like you.

1. Drink Alkaline WateLemon Water After i read several books on Psoriasis, they all concluded that Gut is the root of psoriasis, it shows that our body is too acidic, so drink alkaline water and take alkaline diet is the first step for a healthy guts, drink the water first thing in the morning when you wake up.
2. Have a sun bath- for the natural Vitamin D we need, but between 8:00am-10:00am when the sun lights are not harsh.
3. Dry body brushing- Before bathe/shower, I will have a dry body brushing, it helps to smooth, detox and cleanse, but not on inflamed/infected area. it also helps the blood to circulate better
4. Barefoot Beach Walk-As I live close to a beach, in the morning, I have a barefoot sand walk, it helps the body to detox, relax and even lose weight. You can also walk on fresh grass as well.
5. Pranayama Breathing and Yoga- I follow this breathing technique taught by a yoga guru for three weeks, the patch on my upper lip that has bothered me for years is gone. I find deep breathing can clear my mind, calm my spirit and even helps me to de-stress.
6. Alkaline Diet- Yes, those superfood that high in Alkaline can balance the acidic in the body, try it out. I just felt so many trips to toilet and of course you will be brighter and lighter after that.
7. Tibetan Sound Healing. I don’t know how to explain this one, you can find your own music that can calm your body, and alter your body from dis-ease to at-ease.
8. Drink Herbal Tea. I drink Dandlion root tea everyday, it helps the liver to detox, I guess the key word here is Detox, otherwise our body won’t be filled with toxins in the skin.
9. Laugh Laugh Laugh. Sometimes without no reason, I just go on a silly belly laugh with some silly movies. Haven’t your heard that Laugh is the best medicine?
10. Nourishing Time Alone. No matter how busy I am, I will try to find some nourishing time alone, cook a meal from recipe book or go for a country drive, life is still juicy, regardless of the Psoriasis.

See my photos here

I've been searching for this book for years! think I was in 5th grade when I read it, so it was somewhere around 2013 or 2014, with 2015 being the absolute latest I would say I read it. Something important to note is that the book was formatted in a really unique way. In the beginning of the book, the text is in large font and it's written with very basic, simple words, but as the book goes on, the writing gradually becomes more complex and the font gets smaller. Anyways, in the beginning of the book, a girl is found on a shore at the beach. From what I remember, she was badly injured and was found completely naked after washing up on the beach, and she had to be airlifted and taken to the hospital in a helicopter. She was in her human form when she was found on the beach, but she had previously been a mermaid. She was eventually taken in by a family and fell in love with one of the boys there. She spends a lot of time with him, not letting him know that she used to be a mermaid. I don't remember much else from the middle of the story, but I do remember the ending of the book: she's sitting near a road with the boy and she says something about how she loves the calm rumble of the cars going by because it always reminds her of the sounds of the ocean. I'm sorry that this is so vague, but I really don't remember much else from the book. If anybody can tell me what this book is called, I'd be so grateful. Any help is appreciated.

hello everyone!
so i didn't have any intention to do any specific self work with this trip, but it did end up being extremely insightful and eye opening in terms of what i discovered and how i feel now coming down from the trip. i just knew i really wanted to be outside and experience nature doing a 1g dose for the first time to set myself up for success.
i took the capsules at around 10AM this morning, ate a piece of avocado toast afterwards, and then went out to my backyard to sip my morning coffee with my dog. i had set a timer on my phone for 30 minutes to see when it would start to kick in, and it started to in roughly 15 minutes. i wanted to do them as early as possible to take advantage of the day.
the first thing i notice is a heaviness in my body, almost like a weed body high where it feels like there's sand in your limbs weighing you down. but at the same time i feel light, and everything i carry feels like it weighs nothing. everything seems enhanced. i explained it to my boyfriend as "like if someone turned up the gamma, video quality, and surround sound settings in a video game". i'm holding my sketchbook at this time - intending to sketch while i'm outside - and i slowly lose the ability to hold my pencil.
i'm sitting on a beach chair outside and i find it much more comfortable to lean back, almost laying down. closing my eyes i can faintly see some visuals but nothing crazy, looks like typical phosphenes. i'm texting my boyfriend about how i'm feeling, and it's becoming really hard to hold my phone and text.
my 30 minute timer goes off, so it is now 10:30AM. i'm feeling a lot more light now instead of heavy, but it almost feels like i have no bones. i start to experience open-eye visuals a little more now. everything seems sharp and vivid, i look down at the grass and focus on every little ant, moth, fly and bee that is around me. closing my eyes i start seeing a grid pattern and some spiraling. i describe the grid to my boyfriend as "like those close up pictures of a fly's eye". as time goes on this starts to intensify a lot. i look at the grass and it starts to swirl, the trees are bending and waving almost like they're reaching down towards me, and this effect is amplified by the fact that it was a very windy day today. a quote that sticks out to me is "the trees are reaching down to hug me".
i have to assume it is now 11AM. i decide to get up and walk around my yard. i have a large hedge separating my back neighbor and i go up to it and focus on the leaves. the veins of the leaf almost seem to be pulsing. i break the leaf and focus on how it feels between my fingers. i have my phone with me and decide to text my bf to call me because i can barely type anymore. i'm here talking to him about what i see, how i feel, and anything that comes to mind. i go up to a large palm tree in my yard and get close up to the trunk. my nose is touching it with how close i am, and i'm focusing on the patterns of the bark. there's lichen growing on it and the patterns are almost fractalizing with how they're swirling in on each other. it almost reminds me of those ai generated images that make everything look like dog faces. it keeps my attention for a bit and i'm just touching the tree and scraping little pieces of the bark to see how it feels.
i decide to go sit back down on the beach chair because my legs feel weak and i'm stumbling around. i close my eyes and i see an image of like two wings overlapping and flapping slowly over each other. i'm looking at the sun with my eyes closed and it looks like an angel, and it's beautiful. i open my eyes and i see the "fly eye" grid overlayed on what i'm seeing. i repeatedly open and close my eyes because the effect looks cool and i'm having a good time with it. i remember my dog is outside with me just running around in the yard and i call her over. she's a poodle with curly hair so her fur really messes with my eyes. i run my hands through her hair and it looks like the hairs are curling around my fingers. i carry her and dig my face into her fur. i'm in awe with how soft she is and tell her how much i love her.
i don't remember the time, but i'll say ~11:20AM. time is passing really slowly and it shocks me sometimes how 5 minutes feels like 30. i still have my bf on the phone and i'm telling him all of this as it happens. i look up and everything starts looking like it has a 3d overlay on it. think the red and blue of like a traditional 3d book that used to come with the glasses. he offers to come pick me up to watch over me and i tell him i want to go to the park with my dog. we hang up and i decide to go inside and get ready, because i'm still in my pajamas. going inside started to change my mood. i have 3 other dogs (technically my family's dogs. my poodle named mochi is my dog) and they start to bark when i come in and it starts to stress me out. i let them all outside to run around and get some exercise in. as i walk to my room the swirls of my wood floors really mess with my eyes and i struggle to walk to my room. everything in my room is swirling and feels like it's slightly pulsing. i have a parrot as well and her eyes look like they're slightly bulging.
brushing my teeth, washing my face, and getting dressed feels like i'm fighting the weight of the world. all i want to do is go lay in the grass outside and feel the sun. i look at my face in the mirror of the bathroom and i have to look down because my face freaks me out because it doesn't look like my face. my room and the house feel dark and cold, and the open window looks like literal heaven. i let the dogs back in and they come back inside. one of them is a yorkie and for some reason her face is terrifying me, she looks like the scariest little crusty white dog. i know it's just my brain playing tricks on me, so i pick her up and hug her and tell her i love her even though her face is freaking me out right now.
i get on my laptop while i wait for my bf and it looks like i can stick my hand in my screen. the screen starts bothering me though so i turn on a bird sounds video for my parrot on the tv and look out the window while i wait. he gets there and we head out with mochi to the park. the drive over there feels incredibly weird. the outside looks like a screen moving past the car's windows. i have driving anxiety and this drive freaks me out a bit, but i hold my dog and it helps me feel better until we get there.
i'm pretty sure we get to the park around 11:40AM and we stay there until we leave at 2:30. we get down and we walk to a small gazebo and sit. i'm hyper-aware of how uncomfortable the metal bench is and get up to sit under a tree looking out on the lake. as mentioned, it's a really windy day and the trees are blowing, there's waves on the lake, and there's lots of ducks, geese, and other birds around. i sit with mochi on the grass and touch the grass, the leaves around me, and look at the water. my bf comes to sit next to me and i lean against him and enjoy how soft he is and how good he smells. all of my senses feel like they've been turned up to 100. he has his airpods on and he says "spotify is playing some bangers right now" and i say "nature is playing some bangers right now".
some people were standing at the little dock that looks over the lake, so i wait for them to leave before i get up and walk over there. ducks come up to the dock because people come and feed them, so they're expecting some food. three of them look up at me, and i turn to my bf and say "i think they have something to tell me". a mother duck with 6 baby ducklings swims up and i'm freaking out about how cute they are. there are turtles in the water that occasionally peak their head out of the water and me and my bf randomly say "turtle" every once in awhile.
i decide i want to walk, so we start walking the path of the park. the concrete and grass are swirling under me and the trees are wavy. i'm holding my bf's hand as we walk and mochi is leading the way. i'm talking nonsense to him about how this little park is a secluded safe space from the chaos that's outside, referencing the large road next to it with cars flying past which make me nervous to look at because they're zipping past so fast. at one point we're walking and my boyfriend stops to get a rock out of his shoe. i keep walking and i don't even realize he stayed behind. i stop when i realize and he's about 10 paces behind me. i freak out because it almost feels like he teleported behind me, and i could have sworn he was still holding my hand.
i hold his hand tighter as we keep walking to the visitor center of the park to get my dog some water. the lake has a large fountain and the wind is blowing water into our faces from a distance, and i say "wind is nature's greatest messenger". i focus on this quote for a bit in my mind, and realize it's true for so many things. we used to use birds as messengers, the wind carries smells, sounds, items. it was the original messenger of information. we get to the visitor center and i realize that my bf had told me it was 12:22 when we got up and started walking, and it was 12:32 when we got to the visitor center. i'm in shock because it literally felt like we were walking for at least 30 minutes.
we get my dog some water and continue to walk. i lead my boyfriend to a large tree i've come to before and told him i want to rest here. i lay down in the grass and just.... breathe. the grass is so cool and lush, the wind is blowing water droplets from the fountain all the way over to where we are, and the leaves on the tree are rustling in the wind. i feel at peace. i say "it feels like nature is holding me and telling me it's going to take care of me". i look to the side and i see all of the blades of grass waving in the wind. mochi lays down on top of me and licks my cheeks and nose and i feel so loved by everything around me.
i begin to talk to my bf about how i'm feeling, and i tell him how i really haven't had the urge or want to use my phone or even check the time, and that all screens bother my eyes when i'm on shrooms. i think about this and then say i have a theory. i explain that shrooms take your mind and body back to a more primal physical existence, where you're more in tune with nature. phones and technology have only existed for less than a blink of an eye in the entire history that is mankind on earth. since we did not evolve with electronic technology, we don't have an obligation to them, and in this primal state of being on shrooms, we forget about them because they're not really necessary. that need to scroll, to open apps... it's gone. because what is it, really? i can't touch it, i can't feel it in my hands. so what is it for? the entire time i've been tripping i feel such a connection with nature and i feel it deep in my soul. this brings me closer to my spirituality and what i've been debating for the past couple of months and reassures me that i'm on the right track and that this is what i need to be doing.
as i'm laying there, i realize how loose my body feels. i become aware that i carry so much tension in my body when i'm sober. what for? i really need to loosen up. i attribute this to my anxiety and masking that when interacting with the outside world. i also realize that i control my movements and appearance way too closely. my hair whipping in the wind, stumbling around and taking up space feels good! why should i confine myself to a little bubble of space and carefully choose my every move? who cares if my hair is in my face!
i sit up and tell my bf to give me his sketchbook so i can write these things down so i don't forget. i write in essentially chicken scratch, but i can read it perfectly. it's coherent enough that he can read it, but just barely. i realize that this is another thing i doctor carefully, my handwriting. it feels good to write in large, loose cursive. who cares if it takes up just a bit more space on the paper!
i also felt humbled, as this dose was 1g and almost my upper limit of what i could handle. i was originally doing .5g and thought it was quite mild and that 1g would still be a low - but manageable - dose for me. granted these capsules may have been stronger than what i was doing before (dried shroom) so that may account for the jump in intensity, but it definitely humbled me and reminded me to keep taking it slow, especially with my low tolerance to practically everything.
i sit up and there's a large ant walking on my shoe. i put my finger out and it crawls onto it, walking around on my hand. i bring it up to my face and stare at it as it walks. i let it walk around some more before putting it back in the grass. as i'm setting it down, i see 2 police cars drive around the park. this almost sends me into a panic. i tell my bf that i'm scared someone saw me and called the cops on me and that they're gonna come take me and kill me. i hold my dog close and scoot closer to my bf. he tries to calm me down and says that they're probably just making a loop around the park before leaving. i try and calm myself down by reassuring myself that i'm not doing anything wrong. i'm not being foolish or making a scene, i'm literally just laying in the grass. so there's no reason for anyone to call the cops on me.
we sit there for a little bit, me just touching the grass, petting my dog, looking up at the trees. i tell my bf that nature is so beautiful right now, and he says "yeah! it made it a beautiful day today to show you how much it loves you" and that almost made me cry.
we eventually get up and walk to another area of the park and sit in the grass again. at this point i'm starting to feel it come down. the visuals aren't as intense, everything just feels like it has energy under it and it's slightly pulsing. i'm a bit more lucid, maybe just a bit loopy. my bf lays his head in my lap and my dog lays down next to me and i feel so much appreciation for those who love me.
i have a slight fear that this peace is not going to last, because reality is going to snap back after the weekend is over. i'll have to go back to work and worry about money and bills and school. it worries me and scares me. but i reassure myself that everything in life has a solution, and that i need to have more faith in myself and my ability to keep myself safe.
we leave the park at ~2:30 because my bf is hungry and wants to go get lunch somewhere. all i had eaten all day was that avocado toast and i did not feel hungry at all. if anything, i had felt a bit nauseous all day. we leave mochi at home and then head to a tgi fridays (which ended up sucking really bad and giving me an upset stomach anyway). i was super talkative and felt uplifted and confident, maybe just a bit tired. it is now 9:30PM and i'm feeling around 90% sober, just a bit lightheaded and nauseous from the sucky food.
overall, this trip was very insightful and fun! it really reaffirmed my journey of self discovery and spirituality, and that this is exactly what i need to be doing. i'm glad to have had my boyfriend and dog with me taking care of me throughout, especially through the scary moments.

hello everyone!
so i didn't have any intention to do any specific self work with this trip, but it did end up being extremely insightful and eye opening in terms of what i discovered and how i feel now coming down from the trip. i just knew i really wanted to be outside and experience nature doing a 1g dose for the first time to set myself up for success.
i took the capsules at around 10AM this morning, ate a piece of avocado toast afterwards, and then went out to my backyard to sip my morning coffee with my dog. i had set a timer on my phone for 30 minutes to see when it would start to kick in, and it started to in roughly 15 minutes. i wanted to do them as early as possible
the first thing i notice is a heaviness in my body, almost like a weed body high where it feels like there's sand in your limbs weighing you down. but at the same time i feel light, and everything i carry feels like it weighs nothing. everything seems enhanced. i explained it to my boyfriend as "like if someone turned up the gamma, video quality, and surround sound settings in a video game". i'm holding my sketchbook at this time - intending to sketch while i'm outside - and i slowly lose the ability to hold my pencil.
i'm sitting on a beach chair outside and i find it much more comfortable to lean back, almost laying down. closing my eyes i can faintly see some visuals but nothing crazy, looks like typical phosphenes. i'm texting my boyfriend about how i'm feeling, and it's becoming really hard to hold my phone and text.
my 30 minute timer goes off, so it is now 10:30AM. i'm feeling a lot more light now instead of heavy, but it almost feels like i have no bones. i start to experience open-eye visuals a little more now. everything seems sharp and vivid, i look down at the grass and focus on every little ant, moth, fly and bee that is around me. closing my eye i start seeing a grid pattern and some spiraling. i describe the grid to my boyfriend as "like those close up pictures of a fly's eye". as time goes on this starts to intensify a lot. i look at the grass and it starts to swirl, the trees are bending and waving almost like they're reaching down towards me, and this effect is amplified by the fact that it was a very windy day today. a quote that sticks out to me is "the trees are reaching down to hug me".
i have to assume it is now 11AM. i decide to get up and walk around my yard. i have a large hedge separating my back neighbor and i go up to it and focus on the leaves. the veins of the leaf almost seem to be pulsing. i break the leaf and focus on how it feels between my fingers. i have my phone with me and decide to text my bf to call me because i can barely type anymore. i'm here talking to him about what i see, how i feel, and anything that comes to mind. i go up to a large palm tree in my yard and get close up to the trunk. my nose is touching it with how close i am, and i'm focusing on the patterns of the bark. there's lichen growing on it and the patterns are almost fractalizing with how they're swirling in on each other. it almost reminds me of those ai generated images that make everything look like dog faces. it keeps my attention for a bit and i'm just touching the tree and scraping little pieces of the bark to see how it feels.
i decide to go sit back down on the beach chair because my legs feel weak and i'm stumbling around. i close my eyes and i see an image of like two wings overlapping and flapping slowly over each other. i'm looking at the sun with my eyes closed and it looks like an angel, and it's beautiful. i open my eyes and i see the "fly eye" grid overlayed on what i'm seeing. i repeatedly open and close my eyes because the effect looks cool and i'm having a good time with it. i remember my dog is outside with me just running around in the yard and i call her over. she's a poodle with curly hair so her fur really messes with my eyes. i run my hands through her hair and it looks like the hairs are curling around my fingers. i carry her and dig my face into her fur. i'm in awe with how soft she is and tell her how much i love her.
i don't remember the time, but i'll say ~11:20AM. time is passing really slowly and it shocks me sometimes how 5 minutes feels like 30. i still have my bf on the phone and i'm telling him all of this as it happens. i look up and everything starts looking like it has a 3d overlay on it. think the red and blue of like a traditional 3d book that used to come with the glasses. he offers to come pick me up to watch over me and i tell him i want to go to the park with my dog. we hang up and i decide to go inside and get ready, because i'm still in my pajamas. going inside started to change my mood. i have 3 other dogs (technically my family's dogs. my poodle named mochi is my dog) and they start to bark when i come in and it starts to stress me out. i let them all outside to run around and get some exercise in. as i walk to my room the swirls of my wood floors really mess with my eyes and i struggle to walk to my room. everything in my room is swirling and feels like it's slightly pulsing. i have a parrot as well and her eyes look like they're slightly bulging.
brushing my teeth, washing my face, and getting dressed feels like i'm fighting the weight of the world. all i want to do is go lay in the grass outside and feel the sun. i look at my face in the mirror of the bathroom and i have to look down because my face freaks me out because it doesn't look like my face. my room and the house feel dark and cold, and the open window looks like literal heaven. i let the dogs back in and they come back inside. one of them is a yorkie and for some reason her face is terrifying me, she looks like the scariest little crusty white dog. i know it's just my brain playing tricks on me, so i pick her up and hug her and tell her i love her even though her face is freaking me out right now.
i get on my laptop while i wait for my bf and it looks like i can stick my hand in my screen. the screen starts bothering me though so i turn on a bird sounds video for my parrot on the tv and look out the window while i wait. he gets there and we head out with mochi to the park. the drive over there feels incredibly weird. the outside looks like a screen moving past the car's windows. i have driving anxiety and this drive freaks me out a bit, but i hold my dog and it helps me feel better until we get there.
i'm pretty sure we get to the park around 11:40AM and we stay there until we leave at 2:30. we get down and we walk to a small gazebo and sit. i'm hyper aware of how uncomfortable the metal bench is and get up to sit under a tree looking out on the lake. as mentioned, it's a really windy day and the trees are blowing, there's waves on the lake, and there's lots of ducks, geese, and other birds around. i sit with mochi on the grass and touch the grass, the leaves around me, and look at the water. my bf comes to sit next to me and i lean against him and enjoy how soft he is and how good he smells. all of my senses feel like they've been turned up to 100. he has his airpods on and he says "spotify playing some bangers right now" and i say "nature is playing some bangers right now".
some people were standing at the little dock that looks over the lake, so i wait for them to leave before i get up and walk over there. ducks come up to the dock because people come and feed them, so they're expecting some food. three of them look up at me, and i turn to my bf and say "i think they have something to tell me". a mother duck with 6 baby ducklings swims up and i'm freaking out about how cute they are. there are turtles in the water that occasionally peak their head out of the water and me and my bf randomly say "turtle" every once in awhile.
i decide i want to walk, so we start walking the path of the park. the concrete and grass are swirling under me and the trees are wavy. i'm holding my bf's hand as we walk and mochi is leading the way. i'm talking nonsense to him about how this little park is a secluded safe space from the chaos that's outside, referencing the large road next to it with cars flying past which make me nervous to look at because they're zipping past so fast. at one point we're walking and my boyfriend stops to get a rock out of his shoe. i keep walking and i don't even realize he stayed behind. i stop when i realize and he's about 10 paces behind me. i freak out because it almost feels like he teleported behind me, and i could have sworn he was still holding my hand.
i hold his hand tighter as we keep walking to the visitor center of the park to get my dog some water. the lake has a large fountain and the wind is blowing it into our faces from a distance, and i say "wind is nature's greatest messenger". i focus on this quote for a bit in my mind, and realize it's true for so many things. we used to use birds as messengers, the wind carries smells, sounds, items. it was the original messenger of information. we get to the visitor center and i realize that my bf had told me it was 12:22 when we got up and started walking, and it was 12:32 when we got to the visitor center. i'm in shock because it literally felt like we were walking for at least 30 minutes.
we get my dog some water and continue to walk. i lead my boyfriend to a large tree i've come to before and told him i want to rest here. i lay down in the grass and just.... breathe. the grass is so cool and lush, the wind is blowing water droplets from the fountain all the way over to where we are, and the leaves on the tree are rustling in the wind. i feel at peace. i say "it feels like nature is holding me and telling me it's going to take care of me". i look to the side and i see all of the blades of grass waving in the wind. mochi lays down on top of me and licks my cheeks and nose and i feel so loved by everything around me.
i begin to talk to my bf about how i'm feeling, and i tell him how i really haven't had the urge or want to use my phone or even check the time, and that all screens bother my eyes when i'm on shrooms. i think about this and then say i have a theory. i explain that shrooms take your mind and body back to a more primal physical existence, where you're more in tune with nature. phones and technology have only existed for less than a blink of an eye in the entire history that is mankind on earth. since we did not evolve with electronic technology, we don't have an obligation to them, and in this primal state of being on shrooms, we forget about them because they're not really necessary. that need to scroll, to open apps... it's gone. because what is it, really? i can't touch it, i can't feel it in my hands. so what is it for? the entire time i've been tripping i feel such a connection with nature and i feel it deep in my soul. this brings me closer to my spirituality and what i've been debating for the past couple of months and reassures me that i'm on the right track and that this is what i need to be doing.
as i'm laying there, i realize how loose my body feels. i become aware that i carry so much tension in my body when i'm sober. what for? i really need to loosen up. i attribute this to my anxiety and masking that when interacting with the outside world. i also realize that i control my movements and appearance way too closely. my hair whipping in the wind, stumbling around and taking up space feels good! why should i confine myself to a little bubble of space and carefully choose my every move? who cares if my hair is in my face!
i sit up and tell my bf to give me his sketchbook so i can write these things down so i don't forget. i write in essentially chicken scratch, but i can read it perfectly. it's coherent enough that he can read it, but just barely. i realize that this is another thing i doctor carefully, my handwriting. it feels good to write in large, loose cursive. who cares if it takes up just a bit more space on the paper!
i also felt humbled, as this dose was 1g and almost my upper limit of what i could handle. i was originally doing .5g and thought it was quite mild and that 1g would still be a low - but manageable - dose for me. granted these capsules may have been stronger than what i was doing before (dried shroom) so that may account for the jump in intensity, but it definitely humbled me and reminded me to keep taking it slow, especially with my low tolerance to practically everything.
i sit up and there's a large ant walking on my shoe. i put my finger out and it crawls onto it, walking around on my hand. i bring it up to my face and stare at it as it walks. i let it walk around some more before putting it back in the grass. as i'm setting it down, i see 2 police cars drive around the park. this almost sends me into a panic. i tell my bf that i'm scared someone saw me and called the cops on me and that they're gonna come take me and kill me. i hold my dog close and scoot closer to my bf. he tries to calm me down and says that they're probably just making a loop around the park before leaving. i try and calm myself down by reassuring myself that i'm not doing anything wrong. i'm not being foolish or making a scene, i'm literally just laying in the grass. so there's no reason for anyone to call the cops on me.
we sit there for a little bit, me just touching the grass, petting my dog, looking up at the trees. i tell my bf that nature is so beautiful right now, and he says "yeah! it made it a beautiful day today to show you how much it loves you" and that almost made me cry.
we eventually get up and walk to another area of the park and sit in the grass again. at this point i'm starting to feel it come down. the visuals aren't as intense, everything just feels like it has energy under it and it's slightly pulsing. i'm a bit more lucid, maybe just a bit loopy. my bf lays his head in my lap and my dog lays down next to me and i feel so much appreciation for those who love me.
i have a slight fear that this peace is not going to last, because reality is going to snap back after the weekend is over. i'll have to go back to work and worry about money and bills and school. it worries me and scares me. but i reassure myself that everything in life has a solution, and that i need to have more faith in myself and my ability to keep myself safe.
we leave the park at ~2:30 because my bf is hungry and wants to go get lunch somewhere. all i had eaten all day was that avocado toast and i did not feel hungry at all. if anything, i had felt a bit nauseous all day. we leave mochi at home and then head to a tgi fridays (which ended up sucking really bad and giving me an upset stomach anyway). i was super talkative and felt uplifted and confident, maybe just a bit tired. it is now 9:30PM and i'm feeling around 90% sober, just a bit lightheaded and nauseous from the sucky food.
overall, this trip was very insightful and fun! it really reaffirmed my journey of self discovery and spirituality, and that this is exactly what i need to be doing. i'm glad to have had my boyfriend and dog with me taking care of me throughout, especially through the scary moments.

Okay so I've recently gotten myself one of those mirrors that have different magnified sections but I think I need to get a 15x mirror that's bigger than the little suction cup 10x mirror. Mostly I want to know if anyone has tips on getting better with mascara while needing to wear glasses just to see what I'm doing? That and how do I find the right foundation for my skin color?
As for my hair, I have thick hair (a lot of it too, as every hair stylist points out), but it just lies flat and doesn't have any body to it (no waves or curls unless it's been in a bun all night). I've been afraid to use curling irons because I'm not sure if I need to protect my hair from heat or not (my last stylist said there's nothing to worry about because the heat won't damage my hair?) and I've also never used anything to give it some volume/body so that it isn't just... flat. What products should I use if I want to curl my hair rather often? Or what can I do to make it look more alive? I love the California wavy beach look and I want to try doing that.
I generally have no idea what I'm doing with hair and makeup. lol I was always a tomboy so I've missed out on learning about hair and skin routines, I'm trying to learn now so any tips or recommendations would be appreciated!

Been over 15 years in the US and I would like to share my life with you all here. Just like many, I too come from a middle class family. Studied and got good grades and also managed to secure a job. Problem was the pay was not enough to sustain my family needs where my father was already retired and had no pension. My own life was far from stable as had to work day and night and weekends to achieve the targets.
Phase 1: One day I have had enough and decided to study abroad and possible destinations were US, UK, Canada and Germany while US being on top of the list. I chose a college based on what my budget allowed me back then. It was not easy to get a loan and had to put my all savings along with some help from my father. We were all worried in this phase as such astronomical amount could bankrupt everything here if I had failed. With that caution and pressure in mind, I made it to the USA.
Phase 2: I was then in my late twenties and with full of energy and enthusiasm. Did part time works. assistance all the time and managed to reduce my tuition cost and eventually getting internship and employment in the same company. This took about three years and started sending some money back home. Everybody was happy and took me about six years to pay back the loan amount. Meanwhile applied for Green Card and I am still waiting for one!
Phase 3: I really liked in the US and I was exploring everything I could. The parks, beaches, long rides with friends and traveling to places I had only seen in the movies. I was totally consumed by all this. Also met my future wife and decided to settle down. This was the best part of my life. Meanwhile, I supported my family financially and they now were able to live comfortably.
Phase 4: Many of you know what does it feel like after the hangover of materialism ends. As many, I frequently traveled back to home every year and few times also got my parents here but they did not like the emptiness and preferred to stay back home in India. This was still going well but then suddenly Covid hit and life turned up side down. Both of them got it and I was stuck here at that time and could not do anything and to calm myself, I thought that even if I would reach there, I won’t be able to help them as I too would have to first quarantine for many days and the journey alone was a risk for everyone. This is the part I regret and won’t forgive myself for thinking analytically instead of emotionally for once.
Phase 5: They both died within a week and I could not even attend their funeral. My neighbors did support them but I failed as a child in the end. This guilt killed me and I am living with this pain each day. Today, when I look back, I realize how immature I was. We go abroad to become financially independent quickly and then if possible a life there as a resident. Problem here is that, after becoming financially stable, I lost to see that now it was time for me to go back home and live with my parents. One thing we can never have back is the time spent with someone you love and after coming here to the US, this time became less and less.
Phase 6: My two cents for anyone is to must understand the importance of someone in your life. Relations are really what matters in the end. You can look past the struggle and able to make a good living in India too. There are not many options for NRIs and most of us choose to stay abroad as we find it really difficult moving back to India but this is a lie we tell to ourselves! We can move and we should once the required necessities have been met and good corpus is created. I missed out all the celebrations, the food, friends, relatives and what not but biggest one is losing the time in the process of achieving my dreams which I can’t get back. I am not talking about being homesick here but about such values of life.
Phase 7: So why am I here in the US? After spending a significant amount of my young adult part, I have now been disconnected with my friends in India or any relatives. I now have to support my wife and mortgage of home and more. I am writing this here as when I was scrolling through my childhood photos, I saw the pure happiness on our faces which later on faded away with time with me being gone and coming back like a tourist for few weeks a year.
My request for anyone listening is to understand the fact that we are never to be born again. Read this again. If you have a chance then you must spend as many living hours of your life with your loved ones as once they are gone, it’s game over.
Life is short and time is limited.