Turns out all my problems go away if I alternate between a steam sauna and cold plunge a few times. (Specifically must be steam/wet/tropical sauna and must have cold plunge.)
I usually go to Bathhouse in Williamsburg but it has a bit of a see-and-be-seen vibe at times that is not especially relaxing so I'd like to branch out. (Also, it's pretty $$ given how small it is.) But I'm not sure what else is out there, or at least, what's out there that I would find appealing because I am picky about cleanliness. I'm not so much of a germaphobe that I can't handle any shared steamy area (obv) but I have a pretty strong sense of "ick," so I don't want to shell out for something only to run in fear after 5 minutes.
Some places that are a no:

• Brooklyn Banya was dirty (popcorn/chips on floor) the only time I went and every time I think about that one crushed up Dorito next to the pool it sends a shiver down my spine...
• My friend said Russian & Turkish Baths has mold
• Spa Castle has enough iffy reviews that I'll be on edge even if it isn't icky...what if I see a Dorito...

Based off Google/askNYC archives, Wall Street Baths might be the best option, but I can't tell how clean it is. Experiences? Other options?
Where do people recommend? Now I'm thinking about the wet floor Dorito again and the only thing that can save me is a trip to the steam sauna/cold plunge.

Welcome to Green Valley

Four Merry Jaunts Through in the Bumpkin Quest Campaign

It’s a big world filled with far off folks who have far off problems. In the quaint farming town of Hills Furrow that has certainly not been the case. Here life is simple, local, and paced by the seasons. There ain’t been a need for “Venturers” and their ilk since your Papaw was just a sprout. However, the winds of change are blowin, and things are about to git just a bit more exciting round these parts.
Welcome to Green Valley, The down-home home of Rural Fantasy Misadventures and Grass-Roots Shenanigans. The Valley is Filled with Colorful Characters, Brimming with Odd Ball Neighbors, and has more than a few Local Yokels. Welcome to Bumpkin Quest. These adventures are intended to be a series of silly adventures that all go awry in some way or another and stir up trouble throughout a peaceful little village that has in many ways been overlooked by the troubles of the world “outside”.
CHAPTER 1: Green Tide CHAPTER 2: A Cartload of Chickens CHAPTER 3: Marvin the Magnificent CHAPTER 4: High Society
ADVENTURE MECHANICS - Target Character Level: Commoners - Level 1 - Target Party Size: Four Players - Average Adventure Playtime: 1-2 Hours - Tone: Rural Misadventures
I’ve also put these adventures into a PDF that includes our Bumpkin Quest: Campaign Guide which fills in the details of Green Valley pretty thoroughly. The quests are simple enough to be run in any setting you choose, but if you're interested in more the Guide as over a dozen Custom Maps, 70+ NPCs, Location Descriptions, 20+ Local Legends, and Scores of Adventure and Event Ideas. You can grab the PDF Free at the link above.

Hills Furrow

At the center of the Valley sits a patch of small grassy hills, through which the Slow Water meanders through. Built into these hills is the Village of Hills Furrow. Celebrated by everyone living in The Valley and boasting a whopping population of almost 150, Hills Furrow is the center of commerce and social importance. Well, at least as far as the locals are concerned. Realistically it would be less than a blip on the grand scale of things, a mere kernel of wheat in the silo of civilization, but to those who live here, there is nothing quite like living in the “city”.
The Village itself, like the Valley, is predominantly Halfling, and their fancy dwellings are burrowed into the hillsides as often as possible. These dwellings have been family owned for generations only becomeing available if there are no heirs to pass them along to. Other folk live in well kept two story shingled buildings, most of which house a business on the lower floor and house the Shopkeepers and their families above their workplaces, though a few live in nearby homes. There aren’t many “rental” spaces in town, as property is usually bought up quickly by the Halfling Families, but there are long term options at either of the Inns in town.
Hills Furrow: Locations 1) The Crocked Crow (Inn and Tavern) 2) The Dancing Lamb (Inn and Tavern) 3) The Moaning Toad (Tavern) 4) Granny's Groceries (General Market) 5) Get Nailed (Hardware and Distilery) 6) Gimdurh's Hammer (Smithy) 7) Brenra's Mechanicals (Tinker) 8) Hjoldren's Home Goods (Carpenter) 9) Standard Industries (Office) 10) Fit to be Dyed (Tailor) 11) The Last Loaf (Baker) 12) The Cloudy Cleaver (Butcher) 13) Nature's Medecine (Apothecary) 14) Sheriff's Office 15) Green Valley School House 16) The Waterwheel 17) The Windmill 18) The Undercloak Estate 19) Truefoot Burrow 20) The Meadows Family Hill
The people themselves are hospitable and friendly enough, but they do not really trust outsiders. Folks from foreign places are good for trade, news, and little else. Those that come through are treated well enough as long as they don’t wear out their welcome. Locals, well, that’s a bit of a different story. The city and area doesn’t operate under a written caste system or social structure, but there is clearly a pecking order, and family heritage matters a great deal to folks in Hills Furrow. Most locals, whether they’ve gotten an education or not, can easily be classified as simple. It isn’t that they are slow of mind or unintelligent, but more that they are unconcerned with matters the outside world considers important. This sentiment has created a general, but friendly, dislike between those that consider themselves Highfalutin and those that clearly are not.
Well now that I've given you the fifty cent tour. Shall we get on to adventure?

CHAPTER 1: Green Tide

We will open our journeys in the Green Valley at Green Tide, the annual celebration of Winter’s End. This adventure is designed to give a tour of Hills Furrow and introduce them to the locals. It will begin with some chores around their house to prepare for the festival and end with a battle involving an enchanted broom. If you did not do Session Zero, this chapter may take a bit longer as we get to know everyone and their characters.

ACT 1: Pre-Festival

The locals spend the week cleaning out their houses and farms. They gather old junk and unused items to be used later in the festival. They also begin preparing what food is left from winter to be used in a celebration and feasts.
Things to do! - Have the Players clean up junk around the house - Have them Find something strange (Perhaps used for a later mystery?) - Have them Decorate their Broom - Have them run a Household Errand (Meet an NPC)

ACT 2: Sweeping Day

A merry festival celebrating Spring cleaning and putting the past behind them. They form a parade, with one member from each house carrying a brightly decorated broom and using it to symbolically “Sweep Away Winter”. The rest of the family marches their winter’s trash and unused goods down to the Fairgrounds. The goods are often traded, while the trash is piled in the fire pit to await burning later. The entire day is filled with fun outdoor activities. Households also symbolically bring their problems to the bonfires to burn them later.
Things to do! - March in the Parade - Carry Junk to the Bonfire - Meet more of the Locals
EVENT: I Love a Parade
The parade will march North from near the Cross Roads in the South up around the hill and back again to the South where it will head for the Fairgrounds. There isn’t anything particularly challenging about this event, but it would be a wonderful place to start leaning into or building local rivalries.
EVENT: Never Seen a Broom Do That… As they come into the home stretch of the Parade one of the local’s Brooms will animate and take off. It will chase folks around the parade. The players can attempt to stop it, but the broom will flee soon after being attacked. It will fly up into the air, attack a flock of geese, and chase them off until it can’t be seen anymore. They can go and collect a fallen goose if they wish. I highly recommend giving it a motorcycle type sound as it flies around hitting folks. Maybe even going as far as giving it a rough gravel angry voice and letting it insult people.

ACT 3: Winter’s End

Winter’s End is a Combination of Groundhog’s Day and Fasnacht, this day gets a little wild. The Festival kicks off at dawn with the Great Gopher Hunt. Gophers are well known spies for The Voice of Winter and thus need to be hunted before they can tell The Voice to delay Spring. Gophers themselves are quite tasty, and are notoriously bad for crops, so this works out economically all around. Throughout the rest of the day families continue to contribute to the Bonfire Pile which often gets quite large. At dusk a large effigy of The Voice of Winter is placed on top of the pile. Once the sun has fully set they light the fire and burn the Effigy. Folk usually dress darkly during the day and brightly at night. After the burning they feast on sweets and treats that were made from goods saved up from winter storage.
Things to do! - The Great Gopher Hunt - Carry Junk to the Bonfire - Meet more of the Locals - The Fairground’s Activities
EVENT: The Great Gopher Hunt The Hunt begins at dawn and takes place all over the Valley. Locals race to collect as many Gophers as possible. It is easiest to kill the Gopher, but there are some that find that distasteful. Instead they live trap the critters. It is a bit tougher to do so, but an option should your players wish. This is most easily played out as a series of appropriate Skill Checks, in which the higher they score the more gophers they obtain.
EVENT: Trash Removal They may find some locals willing to pay them to help cart junk down to the bonfire pile. Not a lot of skill involved in this, but it is a great opportunity to meet locals, and you could throw a runaway cart at them.
Fair Activities They will probably want to take part in Fairground Activities. Players love these types of challenges. Here are a few ideas you can build on. - Axe Throwin: Basic attack rolls on a Round Target. Higher scores equal Higher points. - Bow Shootin: Basic attack rolls on Moving Targets. Higher scores equal Higher points. - Pig Chasin: Catch the greased Pig! Medium DC Challenge requiring three success before three Failures. - Mud Wrastlin: Nothing says bumpkin like a good Mud Wrastlin Pit. Contested Skill Challenges. - Sausage Eating Contest: Increasingly difficult DC Challenge. Eat till you puke! Can also be Pies or Ribs or Little Fish… you know whatever someone wants to stuff dozens of in their gullet. - Tug O’War: Team Strength Challenge. Three to Five Contested Rolls with opposing teams. - Gopher BBQ Cook Off: A Hard Culinary Challenge to see who can BBQ the best Gopher! - Races: Foot and Mount Races based on Three to Five Contested Rolls. I usually include a few odd mounts like a Giant Chicken or some such nonsense.

ACT 4: Day of Ashes

The Day of Ashes is a day of rest, recovery, and reflection. Locals take the ashes from the bonfires and rub their hands in them to symbolize the end of a hard year’s work and hardships of the past. The day ends with a large family feast, typically Pork. Activities this day are light, but many folks head to the Temple for the Calling of Spring Blessings. They put on their fancies and head down to ask forgiveness for over-indulging in the festival and for worship. Well sort of…
Unfortunately, a lot of folks take this as an opportunity to peacock about and practice their one-upmanship over other locals. If you’re looking for inspiration for their outfits look to older photos of the Kentucky Derby. Over the years this troubling practice has caused more than one fight to break out after the service.
*Things to do! * - Go to Temple and Meet More Locals - Pick a Local Patron!
EVENT: Temple Services
The majority of the town comes to Temple on this day. The service is usually longer, and a bit more “Where have most of you been all year?” But otherwise it is a call for the Divine Blessings to touch their crops and protect their lives. It ends with a ceremony in which the locals put their hands into the ashes from yesterday’s bonfire. Once services end they will head outside, where the trouble will begin. Two of the wealthier families will get into it with each other. Starting with a couple of veiled insults, probably before service and continuing afterward. If one of your players is from a local Rich Folk family then they can be right in the middle of it all, otherwise they will have to pick a side. This choice will determine their house Patron moving forward. Tension will increase until folks start drawing up sides, and then someone will throw a rotten tomato at one of the House Matrons. That will blow the lid off the incident and a yokel brawl will break out. For comedy purposes I recommend the instant appearance of several food carts filled with expired products, and maybe a six year old hustler selling big sticks for wacking folks with. As the locals brawl call for perception checks. Who ever rolls highest begins to hear… The Broom returning!
ENCOUNTER: Stick In The Eye
The broom returns ready to whoop some ash. It will be absolutely bent on cleaning anyone and everyone who is even the slightest bit dirty! If it successfully attacks a character they will have to make a Strength Saving throw or be knocked to the ground and swept clean by the broom. As this would be an awful omen for the year folks are terrified and will be running around screaming. Absolute mass hysteria. If the players were lucky enough to hear it coming they can avoid being surprised by the broom. Otherwise the broom will get a full round to attack before they have a chance to do anything. They’ll have to beat the broom into submission any way they can before it sweeps the whole town into chaos!

CLOSING

After defeating the broom things will settle back down again. Bumpkins are quick to return to normal when things go awry. However, they will have gotten the attention of one of the Wealthy Families in the area and be offered jobs. Which family is really, based on what will work best for them and you as the DM. For gags you might be tempted to have the Yokels pick them up, but that is a hard bit to sustain, and you may be better served keeping them on the side as a comic foil rather than up front. Completely up to you. The session should end with them being invited to meet their new patron tomorrow someplace important.

CHAPTER 2: A Cartload of Chickens

After successfully defeating the Enchanted Broom, our Bumpkins have gained the attention of a possible local Patron. This individual has summoned them to a nearby farm to discuss future work. That work includes proving themselves capable and not just lucky.

ACT 1: Meet the Boss

In this Act the players will meet with their new patron, one of the Family Heads, who that is entirely depends on their choices from the last game. This entire side branch is designed to flavor the background of the campaign, but if you’d rather just have them stay freelancing and independent that’s fine as well. There is also the possibility of “competing” offers should they have second thoughts for any reason. Once they arrive at the meeting spot their Patron will ask them some questions about their ambitions (Class Goals), they will then hand them off to their new “boss” who will assign them their task. They will take them to a nearby barn.
NEW NPC: “Boss”
Needs a fitting name for the Family they work for...
Character wise, what we got here is a standard “Ranch Foreman” character. They’re tough, A little mean, and completely loyal to their employer. They almost certainly chew tobacco (by the handful), have a tattoo of the Ranch’s Brand, and know where all the bodies are buried. They also have a huge and obvious scar on the side of their head where a Giant Chicken pecked a hole in their skull, so they’re not as bright as they used to be, not at all truthfully. Nor are they actually the Foreman anymore, but no one has a heart to tell them. They’ve been quietly downgraded to Chicken Handler, which is something they seem to remember quite well, but the brain damage keeps them from realizing all that. They can be found wandering the Farm giving strange orders to other Hands. These Hands nod politely and then go back to what they are doing.
Things To Do! - Meet Their Patron - Discuss Their Future - Meet Their New “Boss”

ACT 2: Chicken Dance

Boss will lead them into the odd looking barn. This building is filled with Giant Chickens. These two-three foot fouls have extremely exaggerated features, spiky looking beaks with sharp tooth like edges, big darting eyes, bumpy cracked skin, long gnarled talons, and dirty mottled feathers. They’re more beast than bird. But, they’re good for eatin! These creatures should have a stat block similar to an Axe Beak. When the players enter into the Barn the Chickens will go nuts, obviously deeply bothered by the intrusion. Boss will throw in some deer haunches and the birds will tear them apart in a feeding frenzy. They will then put on a Chicken Suit and begin a flapping dance. (Google Magnificent Riflebird) It should be absolutely captivating and the chickens will become mesmerized, watching every move. Boss will then load two dozen chickens onto a large wagon and lock it. They will have the players push the wagon out while he keeps the Chickens calm. Once outside they’ll hang heavy tarps on the sides of the wagon, and remove the suit. He will then explain to them that they need to keep the tarps on the wagon, and keep the birds well fed, or the chickens will get restless and become violent. When they do need to interact with them someone will have to wear the suit and dance to keep them calm. The bigger the person in the suit the better. Boss will then give them a Map of Green Valley and instruct them to drop off two chickens at each of the outer settlements. They have two days to get this done.
Things To Do! - Head into the barn - Witness The Dance of The Chicken - Push the Wagon out - Get the Costume and Delivery Instructions

ACT 3: Bumpy Roads

They will be off to deliver the Chickens to various locations. There is no specific order to this delivery, they just need to pick a route and go. If they’re short on time they can take the country roads that lead between the outer settlements, but these aren’t as well kept as the main roads are. Whatever road they take and wherever they decide to stop for the night there are problems they will encounter along the way. You can make them random or pick the ones that best suit your players. Most of these should at some point require someone putting on the suit and dancing for the chickens to keep them calm. I would also increase the difficulty of each event. If they fail a dance the Chickens will become restless and start attacking the cart until they are calmed down. Too many failures and the wagon’s cage will break and the remaining chickens escape. They will then have to be rounded up and the cage repaired.
Things to Do - Decide the delivery route - Deliver the chickens - Keep the Chickens calm
Possible Road Events 1) Rough roads cause problems 2) Yokels attempt to see what’s in the cart 3) Bad Weather swamps the road or scares the chickens 4) Pack of Coyotes causes trouble. 5) Chicken Rustlers! Protect the Flock! 6) Wagon breaks and needs repair 7) Cows in the road, someone’s herd is out. 8) Broken Bridge, not gone, just broken

ACT 4: Final Delivery

They’re now closing in on the final delivery. Something needs to happen here to cause them to put the suit on. Or maybe they never took it off! I love that idea, that one of your players just loves the suit and wants to be a chicken… lol… Anyway I’m a fan of having them need to get out of the suit for some reason, maybe a bathroom break, or they stand on a fire ant hill, or a snake slithers up their leg. You know something silly and fun. BUT the zipper is stuck! So they’ll have to try and unstick it and fast! Whatever happens they’re going to get shot at by some hunters looking for a big score who have mistaken the flailing caused by the stuck zipper to be the chicken attacking. After dealing with the Hunters they can go ahead and make the final drop. And head home.
Things to Do! - Head for the final delivery - Get shot at! - Deliver the last chickens
ENCOUNTER: That’s a BIG Chicken!
Having two hunters in the field is more than enough to cause a problem for the players. The hunters will almost certainly surprise the players, but you can allow them a perception check, if they succeed they’ll see the hunters just before the muskets go off. It would be OK to down the Chicken Player here if the hunters successfully hit it. They’ll have healer’s kits on hand because, well, this seems to happen to them a lot out here. After the initial attack the players can decide to attack back or try and talk the hunters down. A basic Bandit or Scout stat block should do will for the hunters. If you’re looking for a bit more mayhem, if the hunters miss the players you could have them hit the cage, and you know, bust it open. This may be especially tempting if they
POSSIBLE ENCOUNTER: Big Ol' Frog
So there is a giant frog hiding in the mud down in the creek. If a player takes cover behind the banks there is a good chance that the frog will attempt to nab the player as a snack. If it is successful in grabbing a player with its tongue it will immediately head down river, and they'll have to chase it to get their friend back.

CLOSE

When they return, Boss will reward them. How much will depend on how successful they were delivering the birds. If they did a descent job, they will be paid two day’s wages each. If they were completely successful they can have a bonus. However, if the wagon is in bad shape they might have some money deducted. After they’re paid out, they will be dismissed, and told to expect a new assignment next week.

CHAPTER 3: Marvin the Magnificent

After successfully delivering chickens Boss is going to trust them with a more important task. Their employer has requested an item to be created by Marvin the Magnificent. This is a farming community so having enchanted Farming Equipment is extremely desirable. Marvin has done a lot of basic enchantments over the years, but this new one, an The Stone Skipper, a plough whose blade goes ethereal while in contact with stones too large to push away, has really put him to the test. He needs some help with the final enchantments. The players will have to travel to the Ethereal Plane and hit the Blade of the plow with large rocks. But there’s a problem, they’re going to have mischievous Ethereal Sprites attempting to stop them! If they’re successful, which they should be, they get to take the plough for a test drive, and deal with the strange side effects of the enchantment. Angry goats that blink in and out of existence.

ACT 1: To the Tower

They’ll be summoned out to the Ranch where they’ll meet with Boss again. Once there they will notice a large pile of bent and dinged up plows. Boss will explain to them that a recent land acquisition has become problematic. The Fields are filled with large stones just under the topsoil and they’ve damaged a lot of Plow Blades. The Smithing costs are getting out of hand and so their Patron is looking for an alternate solution to the problem. He is sending them to help Marvin the Magnificent, who has taken the job, but run into some complications and needs some help. They may ask about Marvin. Or perhaps the fields that were purchased, so be ready to answer these types of questions. Once they’re done here they can head to Marvin’s Tower, which is just north of town.
Things to Do! - Meet Boss again - Ask some Informational Questions - Head for the Tower
NPC: Marvin the Magnificent

ACT 2: Marvin the Magnificent

As they approach the tower they should see an explosion at the peak of the structure. It should look similar to a fireworks mishap. When it clears there will be no visible damage to the tower, But Marvin will plummet to the earth just off to the side of them, landing in a small pond. He will then come charging out of the pond, laughing hysterically, and riding on a large turtle. Once he gets a few feet away from the pond the turtle will disappear and he will tumble to the ground right in front of the players. He will leap up quickly and turn toward the players. “Behold Travelers, You stand in the presence of Marvin the Magnificent! And everything you have witness was mostly intended!” He will then strike a cool pose with his wand pointed to the sky! “Now why do you approach my tower!?”
Once Marvin finds out they’ve been sent about the plow he will become more nervous looking. “I see, well follow me. We have work to do.” He will then start walking toward the tower… his boots squishing out water. This should give them a little time to ask a few questions. Marvin will be a little subversive about what they need to do. He will attempt to frame it very mysteriously, saying things like “All will be revealed soon.” and “Save your questions! All Answers await us… in the future!” If they ask him about what they witnessed outside, he will tell them he was working on a mount summoning spell designed for lakes and rivers.
Things to Do! - Head toward the Tower - Meet Marvin - Ask Questions

ACT 3: The Cabinet of Mysteries

The inside of the Wizard’s Tower will be far more mundane than they likely expect. At least on the first floor. It will have a sitting room, dining room, and kitchen, as well as a few odds and ends about. Nothing special at all. The second floor, are Marvin’s personal quarters and some room for study, but it is the third floor, where Marvin will lead them, and it will be more of what one would expect in a Wizard’s tower. There will be books shelves, arcane equipment, and storage for components. In the middle of the room will be a tall cabinet.
:
Marvin will explain to them that the Cabinet is a transportation device, and that he will need them to enter into it with a plow that he has recently enchanted. They will be taken to the Ethereal Plane, and once there they’ll need to take the plow outside and begin hitting it with large field stones. There is a large pile of stones just on the north edge of the tower. They’ll have to do this quickly, before the “others” show up. Who are the others? Hard to say, but there are things that live in the Ethereal Plane that don’t like intruders. The idea is to imbue the Plow with Ethereal Powers so it can pass through large stones while plowing fields. Once they return with the Enchanted Plow, Marvin will have them load it on a cart, pulled by a very smart Donkey, and send them on their way.
Skill Challenge: Enchant the Plow This skill challenge will require five successes before they’re incapacitated by the others. However they decide to do it, they’ll have to successfully hit the plow with five large stones. Failures will result in strange indiscernible entities attacking them. They do minimal damage but could knock people out if there are enough failures.
Things to Do! - Move Through Marvin’s Tower - Enter the Cabinet - Enchant the Plow

ACT 4: Blinking Goats

Upon returning to Boss with the Plow they will be happily greet and paid. Their Patron will be there and will be very pleased with their success. He will ask them to demonstrate the plow’s abilities. Once they get set up out in the field and begin plowing something weird will happen. Every time they hit a stone and the plow’s power activates an Ethereal Goat will manifest and kick or ram the plow, and then disappear. It will feel very similar to what they encountered in the Ethereal Plane. They’ll have to find a way to deal with the manifestations.
ENCOUNTER: Ethereal Goats These goats should function very similarly to Blink Dogs, but I would trim the HP and AC a little to put them in line with the party’s. They will be intent on breaking the Plow not the party, although they will attack the party if they can’t get to the Plow.
Things to Do! - Deliver the Plow - Drive the Plow - Defeat the Ethereal Goats

CLOSE

Once defeated the Boss will come over to yell at them, but the Patron will find the entire thing amusing and more importantly, another impressive demonstration of the player’s skills. He will invite them to the “House” for an important party next week.

Chapter 4: High Society

They've definitely been noticed now and have impressed with their ability, unconventional as it may be. They are invited to their patron's home, but not as guests. Though, they might think they were actually invited as guests! They have been brought in to help work the event held out at the Party Field. They will have to gather party supplies, help put up the tent, and then serve the actual guests. During the evening’s entertainment a hypnotist “The Great Dr Hypnotika” will mesmerize the crowd and attempt to rob them all. Hopefully the players don’t fall victim to her schemes. And if they do oh well, they’ll be entertained all the same.

ACT 1: Special Delivery

The players arrive at the Patron’s very nice property. They will be greeted by a properly dressed servant with a clipboard, the Party Planner. The Planner will be rigid and direct. They will immediately begin tasking them about. If they mention that they were invited to the party the servant will laugh “You didn’t think you were a guest? Oh dear, how embarrassing. You’re the help! It is still a great honor to be tasked to help at the Party, but you’re not guests. Now as for your current task. Head into town and gather these supplies. Bring them to the field by noon.” After the instructions are given the servant will go back to their tasks and expect the players to do the same. They will have three stops; The Crocked Crow for Food and Beer, Get Nailed for the Tent and Spirits, and Shalana Proud-Breed’s Tailor Shop to pick up the Dry Cleaning. Feel free to make any and all of these go sideways! Its a good place to toss in some shenanigans as well! They should also be introduced to Dr Hypnotika and her associates.
Things To do! - Go to their Patron’s Home - Meet the Party Planner and Dr Hypnotika - Run their Errands
NPC: Dr Hypnotika
Dr Hypnotika and her group will perform for the party. Hypnotica is a Tiefling Mezmerist and illusionist. She has an obnoxiously high charisma and some pretty serious skills to back up her claims. However, she uses those skills to beguile her guests, robbing them blind while they are under her spells. She wears a fine robe with a bedazzled headwrap. She has dark upward spiraling horns, light purple skin, and matching eyes. She wears a monocle and walks with a ceremonially carved staff depicting the "Struggles of the Universe". She is extremely persuasive and even more deceptive. Even if someone were to grow suspicious she can easily talk her way out of trouble.
NPCs: Clapper and Bob Hypnotika brings with her two assistants. Clapper the suit wearing Kenku who will perform wondrous displays of mimicry and slight of hand, and her strongman Bob the Kobold. Bob wears a leopard print strongman's outfit and is amazingly swole, particularly for a kobold, and capable of lifting upwards of 400lbs. Bob doesn't do much else other than get hit with things. in the act.

ACT 2: Put up the Tent

After they finish running their errands they will be tasked with putting up a large party tent. This Act is an ongoing Skill Challenge and should have a constantly distracted feel to it. First they have to unpack the tent. Then they have to realize some pieces are missing, they’ll have to form a solution to that problem. After that wind should cause some problems as the tent is at least being pulled up. This is a great moment for some wondrous tom-foolery.
Things To do! - Unpack the tent - Deal with missing parts - Secure the tent during the wind gusts

ACT 3: Put These On

After they finish putting up the tent they’ll be sent to the Servant’s Quarters to bathe and change. They’ll get a little time to explore and snoop if they wish. Afterward they’ll be tasked with helping in the kitchen, but unfortunately the cooks are going to have been playing a drinking game all afternoon and are no longer fully capable of doing their jobs. This would make a great moment for some sort of mini-game where the players have to determine whether or not the cooks are doing the right things. Once the dinner has been completed they will have to serve the guests. This is a good place to insert gossip and help them meet a few other folks.
Things To do! - Get changed for the party - Deal with the drunk cooks - Serve the guests drinks and food

ACT 4: An Evening to Remember

At some point in the evening things are going to start sliding downhill. Some of the locals will have become extremely inebriated and will need to be encouraged to leave, or just moved off to the side as they’ve already passed out, before the show begins. Once the show begins the locals will become fixated on the goings on. “The Great Dr Hypnotika” will have put an additive in the drinks for the that will make everyone more susceptible to her powers of persuasion. Once the show starts she will have them all doing silly things, those who drank have disadvantage on saves against her powers. She will end the show asking the guests to display their most valuable treasure, a with a hypnotic pattern and then send her assistants out to collect those treasures. The players will have to “do something” about the thieves.
Things To do! - Deal with Drunks - Watch the Show - Stop the Criminals
ENCOUNTER: Hypnotika's Gang This encounter doesn't have to be a fight. If Hypnotika is caught she may claim it was all part of the act and simple return the valuables with a "no harm, no foul" type attitude. This will be he go to in an attempt to avoid a fight, but if the character persist in some kind of retribution or punishment the situation will devolve into a combat. Hypnotica herself is an Illusionist Wizard but is low on spells after the show. Clapper is a low level rogue and Bob a Barbarian, and should play out as such. Even with Skills they are combat adverse and will be looking for an opportunity to flee rather than fight. They do have a getaway wagon out front that they'll be headed for if things go south.

CLOSING

We’re assuming the Bumpkins at least attempted to stop the robbery. This will draw a lot of attention to them. Their Patron will be well pleased with them, and let them know they will be getting much more important jobs in the future. The guests will also take note and will begin treating them all a bit better. They’re all essentially Folk Heroes at this point for secondary backgrounds. Their Patron should reward them with something very nice as the party kicks back in. They will need to finish out the nights work of course.

Quest-line Closing

Congratulations! Your Players have completed their first Quest-line! Hopefully it was a delightful experience. But now that they've finished what comes next? Well, here are some ideas.
*Reward Them! * They've been doing some rather Adventurous things lately, and therefore should now have a Class Level under their belt, so the real D&D world now opens to them! Maybe it is time for some real adventuring gear. No more sticks, stones, and burlap sack armor.
Folk Heroes? There's a good chance that the Valley is Speaking the News about them and their exploits while drinking in the taverns. They may have even earned the actual Folk Hero Feat! Maybe someone would be interested in giving them a task!
Simply Go Exploring! There are a lot of places in Green Valley that we only dipped our toes into. You could have them head down to Stinkmarsh, or maybe climb up the cliffs of Longridge. The world (Well, the Valley) is wholly open to them.
Explore Local Legends There are lots of local legends they can look into! Hopefully they search out something that isn't too far over their heads!
Continue Working for their Patron It would be an easy DM go to simply to have them continue working for their current Patron. They've probably been impressive enough fo a family to be interested in keeping them on.
Establish Themselves as Adventurers! Maybe they want to set up a Adventurers for Hire business? This "Heroes Guild" approach is really appealing to a lot of players and absolutely plays into Bumpkin Quest. Just remember, this is a place of low key problems that locals make really big deals out of. So the idea of slaying dragons shouldn't really be on the table... that is until an actual dragon shows up! Which one day absolutely should.

This is a nutrition question because I'm curious. I haven't always paid the best attention to nutrition. I noticed over the past year my fingernails were getting slightly weaker, and pretty much my whole life my lips have generally been constantly dry & chapped (so long before I went vegan). Recently I noticed whenever I get multiple servings of beans a day, due to making a big batch and having leftovers - after a few days to a week of this, my lips aren't chapped and my nails seemed to be getting stronger.
I take iron, B12, and D3 supplements regularly, and those did not improve my chapped skin or nails. I really think it's something about the beans! When I noticed the difference I think I was mainly eating pinto beans - I eat red lentils and black beans too but I don't think I had them often/consistently enough to know their effect.

For the ultimate glam-up experience at a nail salon in Palatine, look no further than Studio Styl Co. Our team of skilled professionals is committed to delivering the highest quality services in a serene and revitalizing environment. From indulgent nail treatments to restorative services, our spa salon in Palatine has everything you need to enhance your look and feel your best. Book an appointment now at https://Studiostylco.com/

Company Name	Title	City
HealthMarkets	Insurance Agent	Greenleaf
HealthMarkets	Insurance Agent	Huston
ROUNDHOUSE COMMUNITIES LLC	Leasing Consultant - Boutique Sites	Boise
Boise Centre	Information Technology (IT) Manager	Boise
Western Integrated Tech	Business Development Specialist	Boise
Badger Building Center	Yard Operations	Bonners Ferry
Nwestco, LLC	Car Washer	Caldwell
Nwestco, LLC	Automotive Washer	Caldwell
Nwestco, LLC	Service Technician	Caldwell
Badger Building Center	Stock Associate	Coeur D Alene
Bronze Buffalo Ranch at Teton Springs	Banquet & Event Attendant	Driggs
Cascadia Services, LLC	IT Field Resource	Eagle
Best Built Builders Supply	Floor Customer Service	Grangeville
Lignetics Inc.	Packaging Operator - Graveyard Shift	KOOTENAI
Cascadia Services, LLC	LPN	Lapwai
Cascadia Services, LLC	LPN	Lewiston
Cascadia Services, LLC	Licensed Practical Nurse (LPN)	Lewiston
ROUNDHOUSE COMMUNITIES LLC	Real Estate Agent - Apartments	Meridian
Boise Centre	Operations Supervisor (FT)	Meridian
Badger Building Center	Replenisher	Post Falls
Badger Building Center	Stock Associate	Post Falls
Badger Building Center	Yard Operations	Post Falls
Badger Building Center	Replenisher	Sagle
Badger Building Center	Floor Customer Service	Sagle
Badger Building Center	Retail Stock Person	Sagle

Hey guys, here are some recent job openings in id. Feel free to comment here or send me a private message if you have any questions, I'm at the community's disposal! If you encounter any problems with any of these job openings please let me know that I will modify the table accordingly. Thanks!

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worldnews

• mortalaa

French minister threatens to ban Twitter if it doesn’t follow EU rules
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• 9lobaldude

25 to 32 drones attack Moscow: 2 buildings damaged, people evacuated
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• DancingWithBalrug

Groundbreaking Israeli cancer treatment has 90% success rate
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news

• boregon

At least 16 dead, dozens injured in shootings across the U.S. over Memorial Day weekend
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• besselfunctions

Third nuclear reactor reaches 100% power output at Georgia’s Plant Vogtle
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• dull_song12

Man with Nazi flag who crashed U-Haul near White House praised Hitler
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science

• unsw

New DNA testing technology shows majority of Australian dingoes are pure dingoes, not hybrids, challenging the view that dingoes are in decline due to crossbreeding with domestic dogs
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• Hrmbee

Free prescription drugs could reduce overall health-care costs in Canada: study
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• giuliomagnifico

Researchers have developed a self-administered mobile application that analyzes speech data as an automatic screening tool for the early detection of Alzheimer's disease with 88% to 91% of accuracy
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space

• Spiritual_Navigator

One-third of galaxy's most common planets could be in habitable zone
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• DoremusJessup

China will send three astronauts to its Tiangong space station on Tuesday, putting a civilian scientist into space for the first time as Beijing pursues plans to send a manned mission to the Moon by the end of the decade
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• Gari_305

The United Arab Emirates Is Heading for the Asteroid Belt
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Futurology

• mafco

Georgia nuclear rebirth arrives 7 years late, $17B over cost. Two nuclear reactors in Georgia were supposed to herald a nuclear power revival in the United States. They’re the first U.S. reactors built from scratch in decades — and maybe the most expensive power plant ever.
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• mafco

Inflation Reduction Act Sparks a Rural Clean Energy Revival. The USDA announced $11 billion in new funding for rural clean energy projects, with part of the program described as “the single largest investment in rural electrification since FDR signed the Rural Electrification Act into law in 1936.”
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• BousWakebo

Japan will try to beam solar power from space by 2025
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AskReddit

• Routine_Astronaut182

Whats something attractive people can do, that ugly people cant?
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• Quotedkarma

What's an unspoken rule on a first date?
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• Halloween-365

What actor or actress ruins a movie for you?
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todayilearned

• hstarwood

TIL that the early 2000s Nickelodeon children's show, "LazyTown", was not only filmed in Iceland but also one of the most expensive children's show ever made (each episode cost nearly $1 million to make)
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• derstherower

TIL that George Washington only left the present-day United States one time in his life, when he traveled to Barbados with his brother in 1751.
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• Business_Reporter420

TIL in 2018, a middle school in Dallas organized an event called “Breakfast with Dads,” but saw that not all of the students have fathers or father figures to attend the event with. So, they put up a post on Facebook seeking around 50 volunteers. On the day of the event, 600 men showed up to help.
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dataisbeautiful

• the_muskox

[OC] Three years of applying to PhD programs
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• NewWorldCartographic

Chart of Mountains & Rivers -- published in 1862 in Johnson’s New Illustrated Family Atlas
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• m1mag04

[OC] Forbes List of Highest-Earning Musicians: 1987 to 2021
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Cooking

• alaflam23

What’s your cooking tax?
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• disgruntled_bird

Really weird question. But if I use the same amount of ingredients but half the amount of water for a soup, then add back the normal amount of water after cooking, would that be the same if I’d just cooked everything together?
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• geniusintx

I finally tried using a hand mixer to shred crockpot chicken. Holy crap! It was amazing! Just took a few minutes! Then, in a moment of inspiration, I used a salad spinner, think it’s been used once before in 8 years, to get the extra juice out!
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food

• gamerskaterchef

[Homemade] Hot Honey Chicken Sandwich, Garlic Fries, & Kimchi Ranch
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• TacoTuesgrey

[I ate] Cheesy Chicken Quesadilla
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• Strawbrary

[Homemade] Spaghetti Carbonara
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movies

• tomhagen

Raiders of the Lost Ark Is Perfect In Its Simplicity
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• More_MP5s

White Men Can't Jump (2023) .... WTF.
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• JimDumDum

‘The Little Mermaid:’ This 1976 psychedelic live-action film could be the best adaptation to date
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Art

• tutusdaddy23

Wooded path, paintwithbram, oil, 2023
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• sasquatchinheat

Sonny, Sasquatchinheat, paint markers, 2023
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• SxDayz

Untitled, SxDayz me , digital painting,2023
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television

• feb914

Streaming services are removing tons of movies and shows — it’s not personal, it’s strictly business
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• RealJohnGillman

‘Scrubs’ — Sam Lloyd’s “Hey Ya”
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• Neo2199

‘Obi-Wan Kenobi’ EP & Director Deborah Chow: “This was conceived as a limited series, it is closed”
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pics

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Dinner at a homeless shelter (Sioux City, IA)
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• discipleofdisaster

dinner at a homeless shelter
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• springchikun

Please buy new sunblock if you haven't recently. It can expire (pic of when I learned the hard way)
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gifs

• TegraMuskin

Tomb Of Ancient Egyptian Pharaoh Ramesses VI In The Valley Of The Kings [Year 12th Century BC]
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• WeeDiversity

Funny ass horse trot
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• v78

I drew this pixel art animation and called it "Artist fire" [OC]
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educationalgifs

• aloofloofah

Burrito fold
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• UnlimitedDuck

The eggs of the newts form algae underwater on their surface to produce oxygen, as the embryos require a continuous supply of oxygen to survive. Without the formation of algae, the embryos would not receive enough oxygen, which could lead to their death.
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mildlyinteresting

• SegaTime

This unused casket left outside for trash pickup.
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• gamelover42

This oddly shaped egg that my chickens laid
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• electriclevv

This House on Top of A Warehouse in Syracuse, NY
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interestingasfuck

• Ainsley-Sorsby

Gorillas make vocalisations to express satisfation when they enjoy their food...they are also in a permanent state of flatulence because their food is almost exclusively fiber(a lot of it)
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• Specific-College-194

Iceland, the land where the sun will never set
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• Ciocolatel

Japan’s transparent restrooms hope to dispel stereotypes of dirty public toilets
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funny

• RaiderOfZeHater

Summer in the UK
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• MrStriking

Never lose your girlfriend
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• -YellsAtClouds-

This is why you always bring your glove
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aww

• Bombingofdresden

She thinks she’s looking through a window so she keeps going to look for the dinosaurs in the backyard 🥹
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• Thund3rbolt

His One Ear Is Tuned In To His Favorite Words
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• siriuslyeve

Our 3.5mth-old puppy meeting our 9yr-old bunny for the first time.
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### Race Information * **Name:** Edinburgh Marathon * **Date:** May 28th, 2023 * **Distance:** 26.2 miles * **Location:** Edinburgh, Scotland * **Website:** https://www.edinburghmarathon.com * **Time:** 3:39:XX
### Goals Goal Description Completed? ------------------------------- A Sub 3:40 *Yes* B Sub 3:43 *Yes* C Avoid the fade *Yes*
### Splits Mile Time ------------ 1 8:09 2 7:52 3 8:21 4 8:10 5 7:58 6 8:14 7 8:19 8 8:13 9 8:10 10 8:12 11 8:12 12 8:21 13 8:13 14 8:18 15 8:47 16 8:09 17 8:05 18 8:15 19 8:19 20 8:11 21 8:21 22 8:22 23 8:27 24 8:37 25 8:54 26 8:42
### Background I started running in 2020 as a way of losing weight (38M 6’3” 220lb) and became hooked. I ran a few short distance races and soon found that I preferred the longer stuff.
I ran my first marathon which was Edinburgh in 2022 (4:09:XX) off the back of Hal Higdon and really struggled with that race. The wheels came off and I bonked hard. Up until that point, I assumed that bonking was a feeling of fatigue and was not prepared for the bleak, negative, end-of-the-world emotions that came along with it.
I did not feel proud about completing my first marathon because deep down I knew I had more to give. How could I be satisfied with a goal of simply finishing when I had invested so much mental and physical energy. I promised myself that I would learn from the experience and come back stronger in 2023. Reading your race reports has provided invaluable knowledge.
I ran two further marathons in 2022 with a modified Hal Higdon plan to increase training volume, the first one being London (3:49 - a huge PB) and the second just two weeks later setting another PB of 3:43. I felt proud of those performances and realised I could do even better if I could increase endurance and prevent my pace from dropping off after the 20 mile mark.
In 2023 (two weeks ago) I ran the Leeds marathon and treated this as my ‘B Race’ from a performance perspective. The route has around 1,500ft of elevation so not PB territory. Like everyone, I ran this race in support of Rob Burrow / Motor Neurone Disease and it was a special occasion. I ran a strong first half and then eased off finishing in 3:58 and barely reflected on my performance. This event was about so much more for everyone involved.
Two weeks later, onto Edinburgh for redemption!
### Training In January 2023 I decided to run Pfitz 18/55 and peaked around 63 miles. I lost 2 or so weeks due to illness and overall stuck to 80-90% of the prescribed mileage. I didn’t hit every LT, Vo2 and MP workout but stuck to the core principles of long/medium/short distances and fast/slow paces. My weight reduced from 212lbs to 205lbs. I saw my LT improve (according to Garmin at least) which gave a good indication that things were improving compared to my readings from the previous year.
Once again I would be running two marathons two weeks apart through circumstance rather than design. I was lucky enough to be accepted into London last year and decided to stick with my ‘backup race’ two weeks after that. This year, I wanted redemption at Edinburgh but couldn’t resist running to raise money for MND in Leeds.
Of course performance compromises are to be expected in taking this approach but there are also positives. It takes away the pressure of having to nail a single race on the back of a long training block and squeezing two performances out of a single training block gives more bang-for-buck, at least in terms of experience .
### Pre-race I slept well the night before the race and woke up around 7:30am, ate a large bowl of overnight oats, drank a coffee, applied a generous amount of lubrication, kitted up and then headed to the event. This moment always feels like Christmas Eve to me. You know what you’ve asked for but you’re not quite sure if you’ll get it.
### Race Garmin race predictor had me at 3:40 which tied in nicely with my goal of sub-3:40 so I set my watch for 3:39. I brought along 8 SiS gels (the beta variety due to their higher carb content). I had one at the start line then planned to have one every 30 mins. I’m a bigger guy and need to keep on top of fuelling. I took two electrolyte tabs and two caffeine tabs along to have 1.5 & 2.5 hours into the race.
Miles 1-5 The first 5 or so miles at Edinburgh are mostly downhill to sea-level and it’s hard not to let it fly. I hit a couple of sub 8 min/mi’s during this section (which I had no business doing) but I didn’t want to hammer my quads by braking too much.
Miles 6-13 This next section takes you out along the coast where you spend the majority of the race. Back in 2022 I really didn’t enjoy this because the crowds are smaller, there are fewer distractions etc. This time I really enjoyed it. The sun was shining with a gentle breeze and I felt as though I got the first half for ‘free’. My HR was Z2/Z3 and I had built up a useful buffer of 2-3 minutes.
Miles 14-18 At mile 15 I decided to spend 30 seconds of my buffer on a toilet break. Still out on the coast, you hit the loop-back at around mile 18 and enter the grounds of Gosford House (an old stately home). It’s a really nice part of the course but there’s a section on loose gravel which isn’t much fun. I winced at the AFs, VFs, Elites etc getting chewed up. Last year the death-march had well and truly started by this point. Today, I felt really strong and in control. My HR was now in Z3/Z4 but I had a good sense of how close to push it to the edge and was still managing the race well enough.
Miles 19-21 I usually dread this stage but flew through miles 19, 20 and 21 still feeling strong, giving out high-fives to the kids, smiling for photos etc. For the first time in a marathon I started passing lots of other runners and it felt incredible. I didn’t have any of the usual brain fog, I didn’t need to walk, I didn’t curse myself for signing up to the event. All is well.
Miles 22-26.2 I finally felt like I was working for it. Not ‘Z5-working-for-it’ but my pace had dropped off and I was fighting to get my cadence back. I felt like my feet were hitting the ground for about 3 seconds of contact time before turning over but in reality I was still good. I set a small goal of keeping all remaining miles sub 9min. In reality, I could have kicked harder in the final two miles but I was good with uncomfortably hard and didn’t want to tip it over the edge. I saw a few runners needing medical attention which was enough for me to look at my watch and realise that with a final kick down the finish line, I would achieve my goal.
### Post-race I hit 3:39 and felt a real sense of satisfaction. It wasn't like London where I ran out of my skin, pulled a PB from god-knows-where, and shouted in disbelief as I crossed the finish line. This time, I looked at my time and was left feeling as though I had claimed what was rightfully mine. I lay on the grass with my family, sipped on a beer, closed my eyes and felt a wave of endorphins flowing all over as I heard my kids playing in the background. This is why we do it, my mind is totally empty, the sun is screaming down on my face and my body is dissolving into the earth below. Job done.
### What next? I have now done 5 marathons in my first two years and have gained so much. I'm a late bloomer but I’m now a truly happy person and my family has gained the best version of their Dad/husband. I have my first 50k fell run coming up (or ultra, depending on your persuasion) and will then build towards another event in Oct-Nov.
I will run Pfitz again but need to focus on losing more weight and strengthening my posterior chain as I have noticed in race photos that when I’m fatigued, my torso collapses forwards which means I am no longer running with my hips forward and chest high. I think that 3:35 is well within my sights, 3:30 would be incredible and anything faster than that would be a dream.
Made with a new [race report generator](http://sfdavis.com/racereports/) created by herumph.

Tuesday, May 23 - Monday, May 29

Gameplay

score	comments	title & link
307	16 comments	Precision Kick
299	25 comments	Dead team 3% Core and a Zul'jin with a dream
142	53 comments	Made it!
140	22 comments	Jaina dont wanna die
79	15 comments	This is why you don't boss without most of the team
65	7 comments	Nail bitingly lucky QM Nazeebo! Not sure if the lvl 20 hook saved it or if that's also just the exact range of DW's fire.
59	11 comments	Won the game with the Hanzo fadeaway E
46	5 comments	Fun little Chromie/Stitches play.
36	4 comments	Heroes of the Storm Funny/Cool Moments #5
29	3 comments	Ya love to see it. We won directly after

 

Esports

score	comments	title & link
87	2 comments	HOTS Unchained, the new cup from Calamity LATAM
50	1 comments	Heroes International Nations Cup - Berlin 2023
17	1 comments	Nexus Never Dies Group A (times in CEST)
9	0 comments	CCS Free Agent Night
7	0 comments	Wednesday Esports Discussion - May 24

 

Discussions

score	comments	title & link
197	71 comments	Matchmaking tip: If you give up on matches early, you will be placed with lower ELO players, like me.
125	9 comments	Thinking of you all while I go work out
70	26 comments	Can anyone decipher how this interaction may have happened?
41	47 comments	Niche Talents: Eternal Feast
33	37 comments	Whats better: Playing like a pro or playing with your team.

 

Teaching

score	comments	title & link
41	12 comments	A Far Too In-Depth Guide to Ana
17	9 comments	Saturday Teaching Thread - Beginners encouraged to ask questions here! | May 27 - June 2

 

Awarded Posts

score/comments	awards	title & link
0 - 28 comments	1 Gold	[Fluff] Best part of when your entire team is flaming you...

 

Top Remaining Posts

score	comments	title & link
712	71 comments	[Creative] yeah about that...
541	90 comments	[Fluff] Tyrael Guilty Pleasures
335	37 comments	[Fluff] 8 Genji Kill Nearly Crashes HoTS
280	9 comments	[Creative] Fel Dryad Lunara skin concept
225	24 comments	[Fluff] Ban on Volkaya, best ban of all times

 

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Memorial Day weekend has come and gone, and if you weren't in any of the big crowds for Blink 182, Paramore, Taylor Swift/Phoebe Bridgers, or the musical festivals happening on along the east coast, you might itching for some live music this week. June means beach season is here and that means beach shows, with Rippers opening this weekend. Plus, Paramore is still in town, playing a pair of shows with Bloc Party, not to mention tour stops by AJJ, Thrice, Panchiko and Young the Giant, and yet another sellout for Bill Joel, who returns to make up December's cancelled show.
If you're new to this sub or just passing through, each week I try to highlight the "best" upcoming rock, punk, indie and alternative shows. I scour the web and social media for concert announcement, booking, rescheduling, etc., and then pick which shows are vying for my time and money (or which would've been if they weren't sold out). This is not intended to be an exhaustive list as there are other non-reddit resources that cast a wider net on live shows, including pop, hip hop and comedy shows, but feel free to add any missing shows using the comments (especially for other genres).
As usual, listed times are approximate start times (not door); prices are estimates for door tickets, and do not include online fees and taxes.

TUESDAY MAY 30

Brutus + Trixie Whitley @ Gramercy Theatre, 7pm ($20)
^LPR15 Panchiko + Horse Jumper of Love + LSD & the Search for God @ (le) poisson rouge, 7:30pm (SOLD OUT)
Paramore + Bloc Party + Genesis Owusu @ Madison Square Garden, 7pm ($185+)
Voice of Gowanus Fundraiser @ Public Records, 7pm ($50+) feat. Yo La Tengo + Marc Ribot + The Martin Bisi Collective
Peppermint + Sheer Curtains + Scout Gillett @ Purgatory, 8pm ($15)

WEDNESDAY MAY 31

Mega Bog + Mary Jane Dunphe + Shallowhalo @ Baby's All Right, 7pm ($15)
Cinema Stare + Leisure Hour + Good Looking Friends + Fear Not Ourselves Alone @ Bar Freda, 8pm ($15)
Leor Miller's Fear of Her Own Desire + Mt. Worry + Fat Trout Trailer Park + Bedridden @ The Broadway, 8:30pm ($15)
Unwed Sailor + Caravela + Spa @ The Kingsland, 8pm ($15)
^LPR15 Panchiko + Horse Jumper of Love + LSD & the Search for God @ (le) poisson rouge, 7:30pm (SOLD OUT)
Paramore + Bloc Party + Genesis Owusu @ Madison Square Garden, 7pm ($185+)
Heart Attack Man + Super American + Arm's Length + Photocopy @ Racket, 7pm ($20)
Bridge City Sinners + Crazy and the Brains @ Saint Vitus, 8pm ($20)
Michael Ian Cummings^{EP release show} + Alex Orange Drink + CUTTTERS + SUO @ The Sultan Room, 8pm ($17)
Pons + Dolly Spartans + Consumables + Bosco Mujo @ Union Pool, 8pm ($15)
AJJ + Oceanator + Gladie @ Webster Hall, 8pm ($25)

THURSDAY JUNE 1

Jelly Kelly^{album release show} + Skorts + Le Big Zero + Brodeo @ ALPHAVILLE, 9pm ($12)
Pride Month Kickoff Party @ Brooklyn Made, 8pm ($20) feat. partygirl + Laura Danae + Monarch + Tula Vera + LEONE
Big Wreck + Mick's Jaguar @ Gramercy Theatre, 7pm ($30)
Atlas Engine + Diary + Lukka + Endearments @ Rubulad, 8:30 ($12)
Tristen + Colatura + BenBen @ The Sultan Room, 8pm ($15)
Thrice ^{The Artist in the Ambulance 20th Anniversary tour} + Holy Fawn @ Terminal 5, 8pm (SOLD OUT)

FRIDAY JUNE 2

Massa Nera + Trophy Hunt + Common Sage @ The Broadway, 9pm ($15)
Onesie ^{"What You Kill" single + music video release show} + Nite Music + The Roulettes @ East Williamsburg Econolodge, 9pm ($5)
Dreamers + Robert DeLong @ Elsewhere - The Hall, 7pm ($25)
Billy Joel @ Madison Square Garden, 8pm (SOLD OUT) ^{Rescheduled from Dec. 19, 2022}
Fenne Lily & Christian Lee Hutson + Why Bonnie @ Music Hall of Williamsburg, 8pm ($25)
Climates + No Kill + North by North + AK & the Hallucinations @ Our Wicked Lady, 8pm ($15)
Wince + Bleary Eyed + Screenager @ Trans-Pecos, 8pm ($12)
Jeromes Dream + Elizabeth Colour Wheel + Venus Twins @ TV EYE, 8pm ($15)
Gorgeous + Gold Dime + Fred Cracklin + Free Casino @ The Windjammer, 9pm ($15)

SATURDAY JUNE 3

The New Colossus Festival presents Summer Saturdays @ 18th Ward Brewing, 1pm (FREE) feat. The Big Easy + Abby Jeanne + Sara Devoe + Telescope Club
New Pope + Tiers La Familia + parlor walls @ Mama Tried, 4pm (FREE)
Bueno ^{single release show} + Zero Point Energy + Rebecca Ryskalczyk + Scarlet @ ALPHAVILLE, 9pm ($15)
Monarch + The Poster Child + North By North + Amalia Juliane @ Berlin, 7:30pm ($12)
L.O.T.I.O.N. + Multinational Corporation + Abuso de Poder + Abism @ The Broadway, 9pm ($15)
Miracle Sweepstakes + Phantom Handshakes + Harper Love @ East Williamsburg Econolodge, 9pm ($5)
^{LPR15 - IN THE ROUND} Pissing Jeans + Carnivorous Bells + Shop Talk @ (le) poisson rouge, 7:30pm ($20)
Wunderhorse + Glom @ Mercury Lounge, 9:30pm (SOLD OUT)
Young the Giant + Milky Chance + TALK @ Pier 17 - Rooftop, 6pm (SOLD OUT)
Blue Note Jazz Festival Presents Bruce Hornsby & The Noisemakers + John Scofield + Kenny Garrett + Christian McBride @ Town Hall, 8pm ($60+)
^{Fear City Presents} OH BONDAGE, UP YOURS! - Night 1@ TV EYE, 8pm ($20/30) feat. Baby Shakes + Natalie Sweet + Josephine Network + The Out-Sect + The High Kinks + Civil Rats + Sweat + The Dracu-Las + The Wanderers
Semaphore + Velvet + Percocet @ The Windjammer, 9pm ($15)

SUNDAY JUNE 4

Young the Giant + Milky Chance + TALK @ Pier 17 - Rooftop, 6pm (SOLD OUT)
^{Fear City Presents} OH BONDAGE, UP YOURS! - Night 2@ TV EYE, 8pm ($20/30) feat. Mel Machete + Killer Kin + Vixen 77 + Soraia + Revelatours + Loretta + Tits Dick Ass + WifeKnife + Not All Heroes

Edit: sorry for any formatting issues I’m on mobile
No, I’m not mad at trans women. They don’t run the insurance companies but I am PISSED at insurance and our healthcare all around. Long story short when I was 11 I took a softball to the face that destroyed me. Two days after I was hit I went under for facial reconstruction. When I woke up we were told my nose was mush, the best comparison my surgeon said he could make was that everything was so shattered it was like gravel. He told me & my parents that later in life I would more than likely have a deviated septum and/or other issues arise. He was right.
At 25 I was able to go back to an ENT as I was having many issues. Turns out not only did I have a deviated septum, I also had bone spurs, a giant nasal polyp, and most importantly due to the gravel nature of my nose when it was shattered my airways were built too small. I spent years being made fun of for snoring issues, I was laughed at by coaches & teammates when I would say breathing in through my nose when exercising/going all out was painful and I would end up gasping for air through my mouth, turns out I wasn’t crazy.
But here’s the thing. BCBS has fought to hell & back to try and get every little thing they can covered as cosmetic. Not only did my nose have to be worked on they had to break both of my jaws & move them forward first. But that didn’t go well. My jaw surgery was Feb. 26, 2020. I’m June 2020 I was back in surgery to have the bottom plates removed after a screw came out and it was pushing through my gums. Upper plate removal and my nasal surgery happened on the same day in Jan. 2021.
But uh oh guess who’s nose didn’t hold up because BCBS fought to get stuff labeled as cosmetic there were issues & my dr tried to help me by working around it. The original plan was to rebuild my nose using rib or ear tissue, 30 minutes before surgery Dr tells me skull tissue is actually going to be the best match BUT insurance is refusing to cover. We made a deal that if he didn’t have to cut in my skull to please not because I’m already poor having to work through the pandemic & having these surgeries. I wake up & am informed there was enough cartilage in my nose that they were able to use that to rebuild & “straighten” my nose. Well 3 months later the left side (which is the side the softball came in from) collapsed. I’m in so much pain every single day. TRIGGER WARNING: I’ve had suicidal ideation issues before & have come close but it was always other reasons. This past November was the first time I’ve ever wanted to commit for no other reason than the physical pain I feel in my face. I also have neck & head issues. I’ve had to go to a neurologist who says my next surgeries I MUST have a neurosurgeon present. They have to fix the left side but BCBS refuses to cover it. Also my eardrum has now gone concave, the ENT said it’s actually due to my jaws & the issues I’ve been experiencing. I had to move to a different state because my first round of surgeries was with the best surgeons & hospital in my state but they messed me up even worse. And I truly believe it’s because insurance got in the way of them being able to do what needed to be done to pay out of pocket for “cosmetic” surgeries.
I say all of that just to say I found out today & looked it up to confirm but trans women have their faces worked on for no other reason than to change their outward cosmetic appearance but is covered under “gender affirming care”. Again I’m not mad at trans women they aren’t the underwriters on these policies but oh my god I cannot describe fully the anger, bitterness, and a weird sense of defeat I felt when I found this out. I’m tired, disability is not easy to get as a 28 year old no matter how many notes my GP, Neuro, ENT, Jaw, and even my therapist send in. If I went into all the medical issues I’ve been experiencing we would be here all day. This past year I’ve lost the ability to work full time, I’ve been put on 3 different types of seizure medications (which is brand new & I hate it, they’re myoclonic seizures) and to find out that these insurance companies are happy to cover gender affirming facial surgeries but fight tooth & nail to have me pay for my facial surgeries after having parts of my face shattered & caved in just feels like a giant slap in the face.

Just context, you can skip this long ass read. Tl;dr, everything was okay, for several years of varying stress levels, until it VERY suddenly wasn't. If you can, at least just skim the important bits and advise me on how the fuck to cope with this.
Everything was okay around a month ago. Our situation hasn't been good, but we were handling it and excited for a growth opportunity like we've never had.
She has PTSD, but she's always managed herself well, aside from a brief period years back where some impending doom set in while confronting some of her trauma. She sought out therapy, and even just by the end of her first session she was improving a ton. It wasn't long before she was back to her normal self, but even better for it.
Problem is, we've been under tremendous stress for around two years.
Our rescue macaw passed away from a viral wasting disease, and he was the closest thing we'd had to a child. We had him for most of our ten years together.
We had our (rental) home sold out from under us in the middle of a rental crisis. Basically the only option we had left was to move in with her family 2,400 miles away, onto their ranch. She couldn't continue therapy when we moved.
They were contributors to her childhood traumas, but she was so sure they'd changed and were ready to be the people she needed them to be many years ago.
I was extremely skeptical that the people who hadn't extended a finger to us, let alone a hand, through several years of struggling through a lot of hard shit, suddenly wanted to give us a near-free ride. But I think her sheer optimism for it just made me feel like I was being an awful cynic, so I just shoved it down and bought into her fantasy. For her sake, as I thought at the time. Maybe she was right, after all.
She was wrong, and it went about as well as you'd expect. Honestly probably a lot worse. Her grandmother and father are manipulative, narcissistic assholes, whether or not they realize that's what they are. They bait and switched on us hard, whether they meant to or not.
The picture that was painted was that we'd live in the spare trailer on their property and pay our portion of the taxes and the insurance, and obviously just do our share of stuff like yard work. Maybe occasionally helping out with some cows and fences.
We spent most of our savings to get there, and after a four and a half day U-Haul trip, they started moving us in.. to her grandmother's house. In a tiny spare room. For two (at the time) 26 year old adults, a dog, a cat, and a snake. We had to get a storage unit for the vast majority of our stuff, since we'd had nearly ten years of building a life together in the back of that truck.
That spare trailer stayed empty for the whole year and a half of us being there, by the way.
All the responsibilities were then handed off to us. We were expected to cook the meals for everyone, clean the house, do all the ranch work, fix anything that broke, etc.. Her father and grandmother just sat in bed, collected their retirement/inheritance/disability, and popped their pills.
Then on top of it, we were also expected to pay "half" of the bills, so we had to find employment on top of all the other full-time responsibilities.
We weren't allowed to see the bills, they would just tell us what we owed, but I'll tell you right now that I'd never in twelve years of being out on my own now, in comparably sized homes, paid $800 for a month of electricity. But allegedly the "half" we were expected to pay was $400.
My grandfather passed away, and I soft inherited my grandparents' property. My grandfather and I never had a good relationship, so it was a huge surprise. But with what little we'd managed to save up in that time, it got us off her family's ranch, and it also got us out of the vicious poverty inducing rent cycle, so it seemed like we'd finally gotten a massive break.
Then the housing problems set in.
I've replaced about half of the plumbing myself, because new stuff just kept breaking down all the time.
I wasn't confident doing a new gas water heater myself, so we had to get work to save up for a new one. Until that indeterminate future date, we had to boil water on the stove and shower with a pitcher out of a cooler. We took it in humor as best as we could.
Then our vehicles started breaking down, and became unreliable enough we couldn't leave the small town we're living in. Our savings at that point weren't nearly enough to get new vehicles, or even to get the level of work required done in a shop, and I didn't have the means to do that level of work.
She's been in healthcare (a very desperate field) for her whole working life, and is a fantastic worker, so she found work right away, four minutes from our house.
I sat on Google refreshing the job listing probably forty times per day, looking for anything even marginally close enough that the car could make it to, and I could plausibly continue to find a way to work even if it suddenly couldn't. I've done remote work before and would've been happy to go that route again.. except the best we get here is 7mbps internet, and I couldn't find a single fucking place that would accept that.
We're an equal home. Bills, large purchases that benefit both of us, food, housework, everything except stuff like the vehicle/house maintenance which she wasn't comfortable doing (though even that she was interested in learning). This was killing me to feel like I was leaching off of her, and I know it was really stressing her out being the only source of income.
Then set in the job problems. Put simply, she'd wound up in a very toxic work environment. To make matters worse, one of the people there is almost like a 40 year younger version of her grandmother, whom we'd just escaped.
My S.O. started to lose her identity there, just trying to mask and mirror her way through the social dynamics, which were more like a cliquey high school than a workplace. She felt her job depended on it. Gossip, cruelty, passive aggression, all completely out of character for her, but she felt like she didn't have a choice but to participate in it.
The manager also didn't want to do her own job, and given my S.O.'s glowing experience, resume, and letter of recommendation from her previous job, started putting the job of managing people on her..
But without the title, authority, or pay of a manager. So naturally, nobody gave a shit what she had to say. It still all fell down onto her anyway, and she was treated like shit every time her attempts to lead didn't go as they should've.
But she felt she couldn't leave, because the way she (understandably) saw it, our survival depended on it.
I did finally find work as lower management in a small casino in town, but she never lost that survival mode mindset, and had no interest in quitting despite all the stress it was putting on her.
How we landed here, per the title. This is where my heart breaks down completely. Mostly for her, but quite honestly, also for myself
About three weeks ago, she came home from work one day. She started her normal "today's bullshit at work" vent session, like we've always done for each other every day.. but this was different. First she seemed a bit disconnected, but it quickly devolved into extreme emotional reactions.
All of a sudden she starts talking about how everyone's behavior is changing around her. Suddenly the girls at work were chipper and kind. Everyone was doing their job correctly. She became convinced there was some kind of investigation for a hostile work environment or something happening, and that was causing the change.
It didn't seem totally out of the realm of possibility, especially because they'd just finished berating a transgender coworker out of there. And my S.O. has always been pretty sound of mind (albeit occasionally a little prone to unlikely fantasies of optimism, but I personally love that about her despite what it had just resulted in with her family). I agreed that it did sound like a possibility.
Pretty quick, she started getting squinty-eyed, told me my behavior has been changing too, and started asking me what I knew about the investigation. Caught me completely off guard, and I guess she saw that in my body language, but misread it as me trying to hide something.
She asked me what I was hiding, and at this point I was just massively confused how this went from a normal vent session about work, like we've had for ten years, to an interrogation.
Before I could answer, suddenly she jumps to angrily asking if I'm cheating on her, a look of almost intense hatred in her widened eyes.
Every question just confusing me more in terms of where she's getting any of this from. We have great communication, loyalty, honesty, trust, the whole package. I had no idea what was happening.
She ran to the bedroom and started packing to leave, and I was begging her to slow down and stop so I could catch up on what the fuck was happening. She told me I was in on the investigation but wouldn't tell her anything, and I was cheating on her with one of her coworkers (who has a loose link to my boss at the casino.. small town shit), and that's all she needed to know.
It finally clicked for me that this was some kind of stress breakdown, and I suggested as much. She finally slowed down and thought about it. Suddenly she's calling her sister, who lives in a completely different state a thousand plus miles away, surrounded by ocean. "Do you know anything about an investigation? Have any of the girls from my work contacted you?"
Her sister was also caught off guard, but honestly responded much better than I did, and I'll always feel like my uncoordinated response did damage here. Maybe because they share a lot of the same traumatic experiences, and the diagnosis, so she understood what was happening much more quickly? I'm not sure.
My S.O. backed down, had a good long cry while we cuddled, and it seemed like that was it. She understood that it was some kind of mental snap, and her grip on reality had basically fully returned. She said she didn't think she could go back to work there, and I WHOLEHEARTEDLY agreed after what I'd just witnessed. WHOLE. FUCKING. HEARTEDLY. Scared the shit out of me, but after hours of it, I was just glad it was over.
The next day, "I just wish someone would be honest with me. There is FACTUALLY an investigation happening, you all know something about it, and I know you're cheating on me. I need to just get away from everyone." Cue an hours long conversation trying to talk her down again, but this time on my own, because she'd decided her sister "wasn't in the loop enough to see what was going on anyway."
It went on like this for about three weeks. Off and on. All day. All night. Moment of clarity, back down the rabbit hole 30 minutes later. Moment of clarity, back down the rabbit hole.
She started making all these "seeing god in the stars" types of connections. Suddenly everyone on Facebook knew something she didn't now too, evidenced by how these posts they're sharing relate back to it. My family was also allegedly talking about her mental breakdown on Facebook, which meant that I'd told them everything about it and taken away her choice to control that information.
Neither of us were sleeping, eating, drinking, basically neglecting all forms of self care to sit there and hash, rehash, and rehash this out again. I'd guess I was averaging 5 hours of sleep per week, right alongside her, while still having to go to work and pretend everything was fine.
I tried to suggest returning to therapy god knows how many times, or even something in-patient since this was SO much worse than her last episode years back, but initially she was convinced this was me trying to manipulate her. Gaslight her. Convince her she's crazy.
I tried to get her to just think it through, like what evidence does she actually have for any of it beyond her gut feeling? The evidence doesn't exist because we're all smart enough to get rid of it and keep it from her. She just kept repeating that she trusts her body, and that's all she needed.
During one of her moments of clarity, she finally booked a therapy appointment.. but unfortunately not through her old therapist, who had been fantastic with her. She no longer lives here. Instead, she went through that BetterHelp app.
Her first appointment, she starts going into the stuff she needs to get working through, and in response she gets, "Holy smokes!" Yeah. That's it. Holy smokes. To be clear here, this is evidently not a platform for people in crisis, this is a platform for people whose dad yelled at them that one time and it makes them sad to think about, because these people are clearly not equipped for anything more serious than that. What kind of fucking psychology professional responds like that?
Anyway, the therapist also went on to say about the job situation, "I would've quit too." Now, this seems innocent enough when you're dealing with someone who's with it, but my S.O.'s currently fractured mind took that as validation for everything, not just the general toxicity of the work environment like the therapist was speaking to. Again, a psychology professional should've known better. And it was back on full force for a while.
A massive divergence happened a few days after this. I'm not even sure how or why. We had our usual rehashing session, and suddenly.. she just accepted it. She accepted that she's in perpetual fight or flight mode right now, and her mind is looking for any explanation to grasp at, any possible danger imaginable. She just had to trust us, the people who've loved and supported her all along and have no reason to betray her, and keep with the therapy.
For three or four days, she was totally with it. I mean, almost fully back to normal. All apologies for what she put us through, all forgiveness and "just happy to have you back" from us. Then on the final night, she sees that my step mother is Facebook friends with one of her coworkers. And we're back on.
Fast forward to the past few days, and she's become very despondent about the way she's feeling. She's fairly consistently aware that something is happening to her internally, rather than externally with everyone else, basically just seeking regular reassurances that we're being as honest as possible about everything. But her fight or flight just.. Will. Not. Disengage.
We had a conversation about trying another therapist, and she agreed, but she still didn't feel she needed in-patient care. She booked an in person session with one who specializes in behavioral health and trauma.
Then she starts experiencing distortions in her perception. Shadows when she closes her eyes. Rooms appearing smaller than they should. The voice track on TV shows not appearing to line up with actors' lip movements. Just little distortions, but they scared the absolute living shit out of her.
That fear led to some horrific dissociation, where it's like she's losing context on everything. She doesn't know what's happening and feels like nothing is real anymore. Nothing makes sense.
She was still stuck on there being an investigation, but it was evolving. It wasn't her old job being investigated anymore, it was her father for child abuse from when she was young. Then it was us for neglecting our pets (because we don't take our snake out very often and occasionally forget a regular nail trimming for the dog, but they're otherwise very well cared for). Then it was her father again, but for elder abuse, because her grandmother (who insists on managing her own medications) accidentally overdosed one day.
She became even more despondent, frequently breaking out into panic attacks and crying fits, which I just continued to try and help her through. Ice packs, reassurances that she was safe, there was no threat, etc. Truth be told, I was terrified too.
Finally, two days before her appointment, she had a massive panic attack about it being Memorial Day weekend. She couldn't explain why, just that it didn't make sense. She finally says she thinks she needs a hospital, which she's been completely opposed to until this point.
I rushed her to the emergency room, and that was a mess because it was the middle of the night so they couldn't find a bed anywhere in a more appropriate facility that late. They didn't really have any mental health resources themselves, so all they could do was give her some medications to calm her nerves and help her sleep through the night until they could find a bed.
The hospital.. was not good for her either. After a while, she just kept begging me to take her home. She just wanted to sleep together in our own bed, but they'd decided that between the bouts of confusion, paranoia, and admitting that she has had thoughts of suicide in the past, she was a danger to herself and couldn't leave.
They took her phone, leaving her in a blank room, and thanks to her work and the fact the most recent retraumatizing came from a healthcare environment, constantly triggered by the sounds of call lights and such in the emergency room outside.
All I could do was hold her, and keep reminding her that she's safe, and that everyone there just wants to help, but they're just limited in the ways they can until they find a bed somewhere. She just kept repeating that she wasn't actually getting any treatment, and to be fair she basically wasn't, but I just had to keep asking her to hold out a little longer, because they were trying to find her a facility that had the ability to.
They did finally, this morning, but it was about 130 miles away. They let me take her there myself though, which was a huge plus to know we'd get that last bit of time together.
On the way, however, she starts telling me how horrible of a person she is. At one point, she asks if I'm taking her to prison. I asked her what she could possibly go to prison for, and she just says incredibly minor things from the past like downloading a movie, (very rarely) doing this or that drug, etc.
I just kept reassuring her that I'm taking her to a crisis center where they'll be able to help her figure out where this is coming from, and that in no way is she in trouble legally. Everyone involved in this just wants to help her.
It's at this point I realize.. they took her phone. All these little connections she was making via Facebook and such, suddenly unavailable. She'd also decided once and for all that I wasn't the problem. So now all she had left was herself. She was being held at the hospital against her will. The "investigation" was no longer into her work, it was into her, because that's all that was left.
She tells me she's going to go away (to prison) for a long time, but to just know how much she loves me. She wishes we could've just had a simple life together, but she ruined that for us. She was just so sorry. I just kept reassuring her that nothing was ruined, and we can and will still work towards that life together, she just needs help that's beyond what I can provide so we can get back to that.
Then finally, after a long goodbye.. I dropped her off.
The facility is very small (literally a regular house in a regular neighborhood, so only a few patients getting a lot of 1x1 care), and very soft spoken and compassionate staff. Practically everything is optional right down to the daily therapy, which made me really happy to hear given it seems like that should ease her mind on the prison train of thought. She's even allowed to leave for good whenever she wants, with the one caveat being that I or a family member would need to pick her up.
It doesn't have visiting hours though, and I couldn't even go in with her.. that kills me. They don't have HIPAA forms, so just walking through the door is a violation. But she gets to keep her phone at all times with the exception of bedtime, just to make sure she gets some sleep. She told me a bit ago that she's nervous coming into this new environment, but everyone there has been nothing but incredibly welcoming and empathetic towards her.
Not to make this situation about me, because it's so far from it, but my heart is just so broken.
I've never felt anything so horrible. Not even remotely close. I feel like I, myself, need therapy after this.
I'm still so confused. Did I just miss the cracks of this coming on? Or was it really that sudden? I swear I would've noticed her behavior change.
I'm so angry with her toxic fucking coworkers, who it seems like ultimately sent her into this downward spiral. I'm so angry with her family for being.. well, who they are.
I'm so angry with myself for not trying harder to get her to leave that job sooner, just because I didn't want to press the issue since she's her own person and capable of making her own decisions. But I saw the stress it was putting on her. I should've done more.
I'm so scared of what comes next. Will she ever normalize out and heal? If so, when? Days? Weeks? Months? How is this experience going to change her? Admittedly, given we live in the US, how in the fuck are we going to afford this (though as long as she's getting the help she needs, that's far from my primary concern, but still something I have to figure out)?
It feels like my whole world came crashing down around me. She is my person. She's one of the biggest reasons I get out of bed in the morning. My favorite parts of the day are crawling into bed together and waking up to each other, like we've been doing for ten fucking years.
Her absence in our home is utterly suffocating, knowing the hell she's going through while there's practically nothing I can do for her except be there for her when she wants to text or talk on the phone.
I doubt anyone is going to read this whole book I've written here, but just being able to type it all out sequentially like this has been a bit cathartic. But I still just have no idea how to feel. What to do. I'm so lost.

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Join the Fort Worth discord to connect w/other folks in FW, chat & check out different meet ups: https://discord.com/invite/9KUdWdQVdJ
Thought this post would be the first w/o the PSA, but need to include it again: If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
Early voting begins May 30th-June 6th for the Sat, June 10 runoff election. The ballot will include District 11 City Council member, District 5 Fort Worth ISD school board member, and District 4 TCC trustee.
[Tuesday May 30th]
Gymnastics - Level 1 3:30 p.m. Southwest Community Center $20-$65 Kids ages 5-18 can learn basic skills in a well-structured class.
Free Yoga Burnett Park 5:30-6:15PM bring your own mat
Silent Book Club 6:30-8PM Hotel Dryce free Silent Book Club
Geeks Who Drink T&P Tavern 7:30PM
Geeks Who Drink Trivia Night University Pub FW 8-10PM
Trig44 presents Trig Tuesday ft. Dalton Torres, Taylor Ochs, Matt Gumley Tulips FW doors 7, show 8PM
[Wednesday May 31st]
Martin House Brewing Company new permanent food truck, The Barley Gastrovan, serves options like wagyu burgers, confit pork wings, & cheese curds Operated by the owners of Rye in McKinney, the food truck’s open Wed-Sun
“Lucas before Luke” 7-10:30 p.m. The Stage West Theatre Free Join the FW Film Club’s monthly screening party
Nature Hike 10-11:30 a.m. Nature Center, 9601 Fossil Ridge Rd. $5 Take in the beauty of the Texas countryside during this morning hike surrounded by blooming flowers.
Lunchtime Music Series Burnett Park 12-1PM Grab your lunch & enjoy the beautiful weather paired w/local artists
We Run Wednesday’s The trailhead at clearfork 6:30-8PM
Fort Worth Film Club May Signature Screening: Lucas before Luke The Stage West Theatre 7-10:30PM
No Pressure w/ Koyo, Illusion, & Fleshwater Tulips No Pressure, Koyo, Illusion, Fleshwater Tulips FW 7PM
Tekken 7 weekly meet 6-11PM, 21+ after 8PM Electric Starship Arcade $10 for the night/ $20 monthly pass Can bring your own wired controllefight stick or they’ll have some for public use If enough people, casual tournament bracket @ 9
BettySoo and Pat Byrne The Post at River East 8PM An intimate acoustic performance $20+
[Thursday Jun 1st]
Family Camp 6-9 p.m. $45-$200 Bring kids ages 8+ to learn how to make a glass vase, suncatcher, and daisy.
Happy HouCrazy Crowler Sale 4-9PM Salsa Dance Lessons 7-8PM Neutral Ground Brewing Company
Erick Willis LIVE Rusty Nickel IceHouse 6PM $10+
Summer Menu Tasting Taste Community Restaurant 6-8PM
Fort Worth Symphony Orchestra’s Concerts in the Garden Festival Gates open 6:30 p.m. start 8:30 p.m. Preservation Hall Jazz Band
Greater Tuna Downtown Cowtown at the Isis June 1-3 8PM 2-man comedy show
Geeks Who Drink Trivia Night HopFusion Ale Works 8-10PM
Crimson Wine Tasting at Neighbor’s House Grocery complimentary wine tasting for sipping & shopping. Guests get to try 4 different wines from Napa’s Crimson Wine Group Drop by anytime 4:30-6:30 pm
[Friday Jun 2nd]
First Fri-YAY All day Fort Worth Bike Sharing Stations Free Explore the city on wheels with a free bike rental courtesy of Fort Worth Bike Sharing and the Blue Zones Project — promo code “92020APP.”
Kimbell Happy Hour Kimbell Art Museum’s weekend happy hour 5-7 pm beverages & bites w/live music by the Allegro Guitar Society.
National Donut Day TX Whiskey 6 p.m. a donut + cocktail pairing, burgers, live music, on-site engraving, & a donut hole bar $35
FWSO’s Concerts in the Gardenl Gates open 6:30 p.m. start 8:30 p.m. Radio Highway Performs the Music of the Eagles *The orchestra does not perform on this concert.
Locals Only Hip Hop Haltom Theater 7-11PM
Live Music on the Plaza, Sundance Square 7-10PM every Fri-Sun
Dial Up - A 90's Party Experience Dial Up Tulips FW 8PM $15
Rhett Miller Tannahill's Tavern & Music Hall 8PM $28+
D.L. Hughley Arlington Improv Jun 2-4 times vary
That Texas Meskin Tour - THAT MEXICAN OT Ridglea Theater $40+
Special E.D w\ Dude-Man & MORE Doors 7:00pm, Start 8:00pm Lola's Fort Worth
[Saturday Jun 3rd]
Drag with Me! The Show: Brunch Located upstairs at The Red Goose Saloon the ONLY interactive Drag Show of its kind: 2 audience members will be selected each show to be transformed into a Drag Queen themselves, lip sync battle, & win their very own Drag with Me! Crown! Ticket price inc Meal & Show! 18+
FWSO’s Concerts in the Gardenl Gates open 6:30 p.m. start 8:30 p.m. Chicago Nights featuring Jason Scheff
Zumba Sundance Square Plaza 9:45am - 11:00am
Goat Yoga Bedford! Generations Park at Boyd Ranch 10-11AM $20+
Catalina Canned Wine Mixer Truck Yard Alliance 12PM themed after the movie Step Brothers. Wear your best tuxedo t-shirt for a wine tasting, photo ops, food trucks, & a Step Brothers cover band. Admission is free, but a $15 wine tasting is offered 7-9 pm, ft. six wine samples & a souvenir glass filled w/frose. Costume contests held 5 pm & 10 pm.
Random Direction artist pop up 1-6PM Love Sammy's chef popup 2-7PM Neutral Ground Brewing Company
CyberPunk w/ APT 75 + P!xel Ampersand 5:15-9PM
Miracle Nights Allmo$t Music US Tour Fort Worth Ridglea Theater 6PM
Ill Nino with Through Fire, Dropout Kings and more The Rail Club Live 6:30PM
WOODEYE (One Night Only) w/ Brave Little Howl + Vacation Dad Lola's 8PM $15
FANCY: Queens of Country Party - 21+ Tulips FW 10PM $15+
WOODEYE (One Night Only) w / Brave Little Howl + Vacation Dad Doors 7:00pm, Start 8:00pm Lola's Fort Worth
[Sunday June 4th]
Panther Island Beer Yoga Panther Island Brewing 10:30AM $20
Sunday Supper Club: Courtney Patton and Bri Bagwell The Post at River East 6PM $25+
The Damn Quails Fort Brewery & Pizza 7PM $10
FW Symphony Orchestra’s Concerts in the Gardenl Gates open 6:30 p.m. start 8:30 p.m. Classical Mystery Tour: A Tribute to the Beatles**The orchestra does not perform on this concert
Summer Afternoon Tea at Indulge Enjoy 3 courses inc chicken tarragon sandwiches, roasted vegetable phyllo cups, street corn crostinis, scones w/clotted cream & jam, cream puffs, madeleines, & shortbread cookies. The tea service is $65 & begins at 2 pm.
[Ongoing]
Riders of the Purple Sage Hip Pocket Theatre until June 11 Fridays-Sundays 9PM $10+ Featuring action, adventure, & romance in the wide open spaces, it’s a classic Western of the silent film era
“Lives of the Gods” until Sept. 3 Kimbell Art Museum $14+ Explore the divinity of Mayan art at this exhibition of nearly 100 rarely seen masterpieces & discoveries

I'm curious if any of you have tried a new type of offroading and just hated it. Maybe you do lots of rock crawling and then tried mudding and hated it because it wasn't technical enough and way too much vehicle washing after? Maybe you're a high speed dune jumper and tried overlanding and you hated the slow pace of it all.
I ask because this happened to me recently. I guess I'd call myself more of an overlander. I go out on these long, multiday trail drives and I get joy from the planning, peacefulness, the changing scenery, the natural points of interest, the self-sustainment. It's kinda like nature + driving + meditation to me. But I got a chance to try rock crawling - something I watch on YouTube all the time, and it turns out I really don't like it. 😅
They must only show the best highlights on YouTube, because we were on this 1 mile trail for almost 4 hours. Lots of spotting, slow crawling, people trying to get unstuck, winching. I think the worst of it for me was hearing all the metal on rock - like nails on a chalkboard. And I know they've got armor, but I guess the crunching and scraping noises has been ingrained in my head as bad & hurting the vehicle or something.
It feels weird to me, I guess, that after years of watching rock crawling and buggies on YouTube, of dreaming up big tire builds and trips to CA to do the Rubicon Trail and such, when I finally got to do it I really didn't like it much at all. 🤷

Exotic 9mm ammo is creative, to say the least, but is it worth your hard-earned money?
Can you trust your life with unconventional or even wacky bullets? Such as incendiary rounds or external hollow points?
Yes, but I don’t recommend trusting just any exotic 9mm ammo.
Most exotic ammo should only be used in a controlled environment, such as at the gun range, while other rounds are definitely worth loading into your EDC.
Below you’ll find my top 3 picks for 9mm exotic ammo, and then I’ll explain my reasoning behind choosing to shoot exotic ammo.
Let’s get started!

Top 3 Picks for Exotic 9mm Ammo

1. Underwood 9mm +P+ Xtreme Defender - 9/10 - Best Overall
2. G9 9mm 80gr External Hollow Point - 8/10 - Runner-Up
3. Fiocchi 9mm 124 Grain JHP - 7/10 - Best Imported Ammo

Best Exotic 9mm Handgun Ammo Overall

Underwood 9mm +P+ 90gr Xtreme Defender

Specs

• Casing: Nickel-Plated Brass
• Bullet Type: XD
• Bullet Weight: 90gr
• Muzzle Velocity: 1,550 fps
• Muzzle Energy: 480 ft-lbs

Pros

• Hard-hitting for a 90-grain bullet
• Reliable
• Trusted brand

Cons

• Expensive
• More recoil than the average 90gr bullet

Why We Chose It

Underwood 90gr 9mm +P+ XD is the best exotic 9mm ammo overall because it’s ridiculously reliable and packs a punch compared to other 90-grain bullets.
Shooters who aren’t afraid of a little extra kick (comparable to a 45 ACP) will quickly fall in love with these exotic rounds.
This ammo is so dependable because of the nickel-plated brass casing and the high-quality powder Underwood uses.
Nickel-plated brass is stupid smooth, so the empty case is 10x less likely to catch and cause a malfunction.
While you never see the gunpowder, it is one of the most essential aspects of ammo. You need a powder that will light no matter what when the primer goes off, that’s precisely what this Underwood +P+ ammo does.
In case you’re wondering, “What the heck does +P+ mean?” It simply means they put more powder in the case than the average round while maintaining safe pressures. There’s also +P, which we will discuss below.
The downsides to the best exotic 9mm ammo are its cost and the increased recoil from the extra power.
So if you’re sensitive to recoil, these are not the rounds for you. The increased recoil can also make a shooter less accurate as they try to anticipate the recoil instead of squeezing the trigger smoothly.
With that said, I would still trust these rounds in a self-defense situation because I’m not afraid to spend a little extra if it means I’m getting a higher-quality product. I want to stop the threat as quickly as possible, so the extra power will help, especially if they wear thick clothing.
You should test Underwood 9mm +P+ 90 XD for yourself before you need it and don’t have it.

Honorable Mentions

If you’re looking for a round with a little less kick, there’s also Underwood 9mm +P 90 Grain Xtreme Defender. It’s basically the same round with less powder than the +P+, so it has less recoil.
However, that also means it has slightly lower muzzle velocity and energy.

G9 9mm 80gr External Hollow Point

Specs

• Casing: Brass
• Bullet Type: External Hollow Point (EHP)
• Bullet Weight: 80gr
• Muzzle Velocity: 1,480 fps
• Muzzle Energy: 389 ft-lbs

Pros

• High-quality ammo
• No jacket separation
• Excellent barrier penetration
• Low recoil

Cons

• Expensive
• Lightweight bullet

Why We Chose It

The Underwood 90gr +P+ ammo only narrowly beat out the G9 Defense 9mm 80gr EHP because of its high price. However, that should be expected from top-of-the-line ammo that utilizes the latest technologies.
With G9 EHP bullets, you get the piece of mind, knowing there is ZERO jacket separation and incredible barrier penetration, all packaged with little recoil.
G9 Defense EHP bullets have no jacket separation because they’re machined from a solid piece of copper, so there’s no need for a metal jacket like a full metal jacket (FMJ) bullet has. This allows the bullets to be lighter, which means less recoil and higher velocities, but it has a couple of downsides that we will discuss below.
The EHP bullet is also engineered to penetrate drywall and windshields, which is ideal for law enforcement and self-defense scenarios.
While it is “barrier blind,” it’s also designed to “slow quickly in tissue to prevent over-penetration” while simultaneously transferring the maximum amount of energy to the target, making it a prime choice for defensive situations.
As I mentioned, the cons are the price tag and the lightweight bullet. The high price comes from the patented bullet design, so that you won’t find the EHP bullet on any other ammo (but there are similar-looking bullets on the market).
The lightweight bullet can be a pro or con, depending on your take. While it lowers the recoil, which is a pro for many people, it also reduces the energy. Lower energy means less knockdown power. The +P version of these rounds helps eliminate that concern, as well as the bullet design.
Overall, I’m blown away by the G9 Defense 9mm 80gr EHP with its barrier penetrating abilities, reduced over-penetration, and low recoil.
These rounds are perfect for recoil-sensitive shooters who still want to carry a high-quality exotic 9mm round for protection.

Honorable Mentions

The Sellier & Bellot XRG Defense 9mm 100 Grain SCHP is another solid copper bullet. It’s exotic because it’s not made in the USA but is a traditionally shaped hollow point bullet.
It’s priced perfectly for regular practice and carrying it without having to refinance your home. However, the ballistics are not as good as the G9 EHP 9mm Luger rounds, nor does it penetrate through barriers as efficiently.

Fiocchi 9mm 124 Grain JHP

Specs

• Casing: Nickel-Plated Brass
• Bullet Type: Jacketed Hollow Point (JHP)
• Bullet Weight: 124gr
• Muzzle Velocity: 1,100 fps
• Muzzle Energy: 333 ft-lbs

Pros

• Trusted brand
• Ultra reliable
• Dependable bullet design

Cons

• Low muzzle velocity & energy

Why We Chose It

Fiocchi is one of the most trusted ammo brands imported into the US. They manufacture reliable 9mm self-defense ammo, among other calibers.
This JHP ammunition functions flawlessly because it is encased in a nickel-plated brass casing, which is smooth like butter, nearly eliminating all malfunctions caused by sticky brass.
The jacketed hollow point has been trusted for generations to provide solid accuracy while reducing the risk of over-penetration.
These rounds are priced just right for the quality of the ammo you get when you buy a box or case of Fiocchi 124gr 9mm JHP.
I find the velocity and energy a little lacking compared to other rounds. However, this is partly due to the heavier bullet, so we’re not comparing apples to apples in that regard. One might think that the heavier bullet would help with stopping power, though.
Above all, Fiocchi 9mm 124 Grain JHP can be trusted in a home defense situation to end the threat to yourself and your family because of the low probability of a malfunction and the proven effectiveness of the JHP bullet.
Be sure to check how much Fiocchi 124gr 9mm JHP we have in stock today.

Honorable Mentions

If you’re looking for an exotic round that’s made in the USA, then check out CCI 9mm 53 Grain #12 Shot. This is unique ammo because it’s multiple pellets instead of a single projectile, very similar to traditional shotgun ammo.
In essence, you can have some of the benefits of a shotgun in your semi-automatic Glock when you use this ammo. I wouldn’t recommend using it for home defense; you might as well use a shotgun and buckshot for that, but it would be handy for rodents and pests.
I will warn you that the case is aluminum, so your pistol, whether it’s a Glock, Remington, Ruger, Sig, or Walther, might not like it and malfunction more than it typically does.

How to Choose the Best Exotic 9x19 Parabellum Handgun Ammunition for Your Situation

Most of the time, exotic 9mm ammo is used at the range for fun, but some of it is designed for concealed carry purposes. So how do you know which is which?
The best way is to test it and consider your situation seriously.
Let’s continue by defining “exotic ammo.”

What is Exotic Ammo?

Exotic ammo can vary widely and be a tricky term to define. However, after asking many shooting enthusiasts and spending hours researching the term, I’ve concluded that you can define it in two ways.
The first and most popular is the wacky non-traditional bullets. Projectiles like nails, oddly shaped bullets, two slugs or multiple shot sizes in one shotgun shell, incendiary rounds, frangible bullets, and armor-penetrating rounds can all be classified as exotic ammo.
The other way is to take the word “exotic” at its meaning and refer to exotic ammo as any ammo imported into the US. Most gun nuts don’t mean this when they use the terms exotic ammo, but I added a few to the list above, just in case.
That’s why brands like Barnes, Blazer, Federal American Eagle, Hornady, PMC, Speer Gold Dot, and Winchester were omitted above.

Intended Use

Whenever you’re buying ammo for any gun, whether it’s a 357 magnum handgun, 300 Blackout carbine, or 12 gauge shotgun, you should always consider how or why you’ll be using it, as some ammo is better suited for the range over self-defense.
For instance, CCI 9mm 53 Grain #12 Shot might be fun to try and shoot clays using your pistol; however, it makes a terrible protection round as it’s much less lethal than Underwood 9mm +P+ 90gr Xtreme Defender.

Cost

Exotic rounds cost more than regular 9mm rounds because they’re specialty items. It’s unlikely that you’ll need to stock up thousands of exotic rounds, as you would with target ammo, so it’s okay to splurge a little.
Reloading is often an excellent way to save money on ammo, especially for standard calibers like 9mm and 380 ACP, but that is not the case for exotic ammo, as it’s much more difficult to load and, at times, requires special tools. So you’re better off just buying factory ammo.

Reliability

If you’re using exotic ammo for home or self-defense, you need it to be reliable. Reliable ammo goes bang when you pull the trigger and cleanly ejects while cycling.
If you have a lot of malfunctions while testing your ammo at the range, I recommend continuing your search before using it as your concealed carry ammo.

Frequently Asked Questions

Are there special types of 9mm ammo?

Yes, there are special types of 9mm ammo. There are many different types of bullets, powder configurations, and cases; each combination has specific benefits that make it best in certain circumstances.

What is the most lethal 9mm round?

The most lethal 9mm round is the one you’re most accurate with. Generally, a JHP bullet is precise and lethal.

What 9mm ammo is most powerful?

+P+ 9mm ammo is the most powerful.

Parting Shots

Exotic 9mm ammo comes in many forms, so you’ll find some that provide a fun day at the range or protection based on your needs and budget.
My top pick for the best exotic 9mm ammo is Underwood 9mm +P+ XD because it’s reliable, reasonably priced, and produced by a trusted brand.
Be sure to check out all the 9mm ammo we have in stock at Ammo.com!
Exotic 9mm Ammo: Explained and Ranked by Experts at Ammo.com originally appeared on Ammo.com