BY MOISES MENDEZ II JUNE 6, 2023 5:20 PM EDT
Amazon Prime’s new docuseries Shiny Happy People: Duggar Family Secrets shines a light on the titular family of reality TV fame and the Christian organization to which they are tied, the Institute of Basic Life Principles (IBLP). Much of what is revealed in the documentary is not necessarily breaking news; Josh Duggar’s history of abuse allegations, for example, has made countless headlines. But the average person who might have occasionally watched their popular TLC show, 19 Kids and Counting, might not have known until watching Shiny Happy People the extent of the scandals within the family and the larger IBLP organization.
A community online, however, has been raising these issues for years. Their efforts take various forms across different social media platforms. The best known venue is DuggarsSnark, a “snark subreddit” on Reddit, an online forum dedicated to criticizing the family. Snark subreddits, which also exist for popular TikTokers, wives of major celebrities, YouTubers, and other public figures, are meant to foster a community of like-minded people who dislike a particular person or group of famous people or feel a responsibility to shed light on unsavory ways in which they are using their platforms.

Unofficial Online Watchdogs

Another forum where these “snarkers” congregate is YouTube. And in the case of the Duggars, most notably in the comments section of a channel called Fundie Fridays. The page, which has over 328,000 subscribers, was created by Jen Bryant, who talks about Christian Fundamentalism in her videos while doing her makeup. Bryant has published informative videos on Christian YouTuber sister duo Girl Defined, TLC’s Sister Wives, and the Duggar family. She closely followed Josh Duggar’s 2022 trial (which ended with the eldest Duggar child being sentenced to 12 years in prison for receiving and possessing child pornography). Because of her expertise in the online community, she appeared as a talking head in Shiny Happy People.
Bryant creates informational videos on different topics related to famous fundamentalist Christian figures, highlighting what she considers to be hypocritical behaviors when compared to their professed values. She has videos that discuss Bill Gothard, the disgraced founder of IBLP, who has been accused of sexual harassment by former female congregants (which he has previously denied), as well as videos about Michael and Debi Pearl, a couple who wrote an IBLP endorsed-book about how to “discipline” a child by spanking or using a rod, and the Quiverfull movement, which promotes large families. When she uploaded her first video on the Duggars, it became her most popular video to date, with over two million views.
Bryant and the legion of devoted snarkers online have become unofficial watchdogs for celebrities and public figures in the DuggaIBLP case, trying to warn fans about the dark side of the content they are consuming and, as a result, supporting. And as her appearance in the documentary demonstrates, some of these self-appointed watchdogs are as well-researched as they are loud, holding real power to help challenge those with powerful platforms. Cori Stern, one of the producers of the docuseries, tells TIME that the filmmakers found online communities to be “invaluable research resources” because, in some cases, they “acted like investigative reporters.”

The Difference Between Snarking and Bullying

To someone unfamiliar with the snarking community, their activities could be perceived as bullying (and they can sometimes veer into that territory). Still, moderators say that on top of having these communities for fun, some online groups like the Fundie Fridays community are attempting to dismantle unjust power structures. James Bryant, Jen’s husband and collaborator on her channel, tells TIME that the difference between snarking and bullying is that the former employs media and culture, to highlight more significant social concerns about the “trappings of evangelical Christianity.” As examples, he points to “using the Duggars as a springboard to talk about the stranglehold that evangelical Christianity has on the politics of many parts of this country” and the harmful effects of purity culture on young women, both discussed in the documentary. Snarking becomes bullying when it “starts focusing on individual people, not on the social constructs behind them,” James explains.
Outside of Fundie Fridays, the snark community has a wide reach online. The subreddit fundiesnarkuncensored has over 156,000 members, and the DuggarsSnark has 174,000 users. In an interview with TIME earlier this year, lead moderator Emily Rook said the subreddit’s primary goal is “sharing information and uncovering the lie that the Duggar family has put up.” This objective to uncover the real person (or people) behind an online persona is an aim that many other subredditors share. For the most part, Rook says, snarking is not serious; a lot of it is just jokes. But there are moments when the conversations veer into serious territory, as with Josh’s child sexual abuse scandal. Some members have found community there among other people with religious trauma or who come from extreme fundamentalist Christian backgrounds. For them, these forums serve as what Rook describes as a safe space for them to unpack those issues.
That unpacking is sometimes referred to as “deconstruction” in these communities. Jen Bryant says that snark communities have become “a landing pad for deconstructionists” to dismantle their religious beliefs and sort out their political views, and to some it’s “become an entire movement.” Their banding together to speak out against the autocratic rule of the IBLP is evident when the docuseries shows survivors using social media apps like TikTok to make their voices heard about the stringent lifestyles they led because of Gothard and his teachings. Many of the ex-IBLP members who appeared in the documentary say they’ve come to realize how oppressive the organization was, but they began to realize that they were able to use their voices online to free themselves. Shiny Happy People helped amplify their voices on a mainstream platform, bringing their concerns from the comments section to the masses.
Article linked here

I don’t think we’re going to get our tearful, obviously fake rambling apology / crying tour this go round.
I think instead (considering she’s already posting tiktoks) she is getting advice from Trish about getting canceled. What does Trish do every time there’s a new controversy? Continue pushing out useless content.
She’s not going to apologize. She is going to ignore and double down on content. That’s what she’s learned from Trish (and by extension, Shane).

Is Tiktok dumb? Do they even think??
Why overlap this and take away supports and make people pick n choose
Most of this creators r getting on n saying this only just learned they were scheduled today
Austin even cancelled his
Like wtf Tiktok get your shit together your production sucks

Hi Helpful REDDIT Humans,I wrote this letter, below the numbered points, for the Betterment of the Group, along with the input of my co-workers. I uploaded this letter to the Town Hall site for the February 10th, 2023 meeting for reduced hours or think out of the box for the retainment of staff. We are burnt out and no one is listening. I don't even think they even read the letter we submitted below. I modified some of this for protection. We are a Union workplace, I have not involved the Union.

1. We followed up a month later in March to Mike, Jeff, Liz and our manager Kelly (who likes to please leadership) and asked if they have come to any decisions, and also said if we could set up an appointment with any of them and it was CRICKETS.
2. Two weeks later we followed up again and invited any of them to our floor to talk to us. Again, met with CRICKETS. No one is replying to us.
3. We sent a 3rd follow-up a week later and asked to meet or they come to our floor. This time I included the National President of our company.
4. We finally got a response when we sent it the the National guy!!!! The state Leadership, Mike and Jeff and Director Liz were not happy about this and We finally got a response that said that we have been spoken to by management several times over the last few months regarding there will be no changes to the FTE. This is how they are going to retain nurses for the current shortage.
5. I replied that he received misinformation and no one came and talked to us. I asked 10 of my co-workers if they recall anyone talking to us about reducing hours or working 4-10's and no one recalls anyone coming to our floor.
6. Director Liz comes down to our floor the next day for our 0720 huddle unannounced huffing, puffing and pissed. She has her arms crossed and said she s here to talk but nothing is going to change. So we asked if we can try out 4-10 hours shifts. She said yes, but no reduction in FTE or the use of PRN's (as needed nurses).
7. I asked my manager Kelly for a blank schedule with how many nurses a day we need for the week, we took all the vacation requests for June and made it work using 21 nurses and no PRN staff!! We needed only 4 PRN nurses for the end of June to grant everyone the time off they asked for!!!!!
8. I submitted it to Director Liz and AGAIN had to follow-up a week later of what they thought. I asked my manager how the meeting went and she said they are running the numbers and I told her to please send this information out because the staff, at this point is demoralized. She did and it has been 2 weeks.
9. THIS IS WHERE WE NEED HELP. They just want us to go AWAY. This is very dysfunctional and neglectful. What is our next step? It has been 4 months of this.

​
THIS IS THE INITIAL LETTER WE SENT IN FEBRUARY:
To: Mike - Regional President Jeff, MD - President, Executive Medical Director From: Gastroenterology Staff - RN’s and MA’s Re: Flexible Schedules to Reduce Burnout and Increase Quality of Life Hello Mike and Jeff Thank You for holding this Town Hall meeting for the Region employees. We would like to take this opportunity to share with you our thoughts, ideas, feelings, and concerns regarding our life here in GI. Please know, GI is a wonderful place to work, our team is dynamic and patient care is fulfilling. As healthcare professionals, we are always looking for ways to improve patient safety and member satisfaction, improve our efficiency and make Kaiser Permanente Thrive. Our concern and frustration are that the required full-time employment (FTE) is unThriving many of us into the ground. It is demoralizing and makes it challenging to create a work-life balance. We have tried going the normal route of speaking to our managers. We have been told by Kelly our manager, that GI leadership says to talk to the Union, and we have spoken to the Union ad nauseam about this. A petition was circulated in the three GI departments to garner support for addressing FTE, which is below and shared with Nate our Union representative. Nothing has come of it. Union Reps have spoken to Steve, who is Kelly's Boss and it ends there, we have no idea if he presents it to Liz, who is the Ambulatory Surgery Center Admin. We are trying a new route, going from the top down. Our People Pulses reflect our dissatisfaction on several levels, but we never get to go over them as a Department to see if we can make improvements and talk about issues. We feel as though we are not Seen or Heard. Company has approximately spent $160,000 training Eight nurses that have left for three 12 houfour 10 hour shifts or went PRN THIS YEAR. Because Five/8 hour days are not sustainable. It takes approximately 2 months to train a nurse to get them up and running and a year or two to feel seasoned in GI. It is very stressful for the department to keep training people only to have them leave because the FTE is a 1.0 and then they realize the required hours are not sustainable. At the end of our workday, and work week we have very little time or energy to take care of family, home responsibilities and ourselves. As RN’s and MA’s our jobs in GI are very dynamic, physically, mentally and emotionally demanding. Physically we are constantly moving beds in and out of rooms, adjusting beds and patients for each case, getting patients ready for their procedures, making beds, and restocking supplies. During procedures some patients require a great deal more hands-on, applying pressure on the abdomen to help the doctor advance the scope through the colon, upper endoscopies may require us to hold hands, and or bracing the patient to help the DR. perform the procedure. Mentally we always have to be on. We are always assessing patients. Pre-oping patients many skills and assessments. During intra-op we are constantly assessing patients for safety and ensuring patient comfort, documenting the many patient assessments, and medication administered all while taking biopsies, cauterizing polyps, inking sites in the colon, dilating the esophagus, getting through tortuous colons, etc.
Also, many of the patients are anxious/angry or are being diagnosed with cancer and other GI diseases, all of which require extra care and can be emotionally draining. Our many work demands are unique to this department. Demands, that make us both love our job and also a need to create a balance of self-care to help us fulfill the Kaiser Permanente Mission. Quite simply, many of us are burnt out: There is increased absenteeism - which costs Company $ Increased employee turnover - which cost Company $ Increased employee workplace stress between employees - which costs Company $ Decreased employee trust, loyalty, motivation and morale - which costs Company$ Decreased employee productivity - which costs Company $ Harm to Company's Reputation and decreased respect for the organization’s mission and vision - which costs $ Please consider that St. Joe’s has openings for part-time work with benefits. GI in Oregon has 4/10 hour shifts, so does GI in California, California barely has a lot of 1.0’s, So it can be done, and it has been done at Kaiser in the past. Please consider changing the required FTE to 0.8 for Full Time/and the flexibility for 4-day/ 9-hour shifts, and 4-day /10-hour shifts for the RNs, and MAs. This would be beneficial and the staff would have the flexibility to schedule healthcare appointments for themselves and their families, get their car fixed, take their pets to the vet, increase their quality of life, and decrease stress. As we prioritize patient care, we also want all of our coworkers to have the ability to take care of themselves and their families. We have attached a screenshot of the seniority lists at all three GI locations. I think it's important to mention the inequality of FTE distribution across the three locations- Franklin has a much higher number of over all 1.0's, 13 total. All the 1.0 staff are getting resentful of fellow co-workers' lower FTE. Franklin alone has lost 5 - 1.0 just that have left Franklin GI this year. People who left (or are leaving) that were 0.6-0.8 FTE who then had their positions posted as a 1.0: Robin 0.7 last day 3/3 Heidi 0.6 People who left due to being unhappy with a 1.0 FTE in GI: Matthew - moved out of state Sara - went to KASC Lone Tree - 3/12’s Sara - went to KASC Franklin - 3/12’s Jane - went to Minors Lone Tree - 4/10’s Anna - went to Minors Rock Creek 4/10’s Jason - left for reduced hours outside of Kaiser Heidi - just gave her notice and is going to Ortho PRN Chanda-left procedures to do fibroscans With a 10-hour day shift this would allow us to; call patients, scrub schedules, and have a list of patients that can come in the next day when we see an opening. For example, a doctor had 3 cases fall off that cost Kaiser $3,000 - $1,000 per 30 minutes. We have about a 11 percent no show rate at Franklin, we could improve that by calling patients and filling in the gaps if the patient cancels with another patient. Scrubbing the schedules and increasing profits for Kaiser..there are so many ways we can be more dynamic and profitable. We can start a little earlier to set up our rooms, right now we have 15 minutes. Since Kaiser is coming down on the Doctors to do more and more and more, they are coming into our rooms earlier and earlier because Kaiser is making them do more in the same amount of time. It’s RUSH, RUSH and RUSHing all around. Please let us know how we can help support our case for a .8 FTE and/or 4 ten hour shifts. Thank you for your time and attention to this matter as it is very important to many, if not all of the RNs in the Colorado GI departments. If this doesn’t make it to the Town Hall, would you please respond to us regarding your thoughts about our letter, People Pulse, and maybe a visit to our Unit? It would mean a lot to hear a rationale instead of deaf ears and the word NO all the time, Or we can’t change it, because your schedule revolves around the Doctor’s schedule. Why is it so hard to TRIAL and/or TRY DIFFERENT schedules out to see if it makes an improvement? Thank you for your time and for listening to us, GI Colorado The letter below was from GI, circulated July 2022 Dear Company, We, the Employed Registered Nurses (RNs), Advanced Practice Providers (APPs) and Local 7 Healthcare Professionals, are respectfully requesting that full time employment (FTE) hours be reconsidered.
As committed employees of Company, we share the mission to deliver quality health care to every member. Our training to assess and care for our patients demands we be at our best with every patient contact, prioritizing patient safety and wellbeing. Currently new Registered Nurses are being hired at a 1.0 FTE, whereas RNs in the past have been hired at .9 and there are long term RN’s that are employed at a .8, .7 and .6 FTE. A five day, forty-hour work week does not allow for a balance between work and life, and limits flexible scheduling options for many RN and APP positions.
Kaiser invests a considerable amount of time to train newly hired RNs, and APPs. These new hires are initially excited to be a part of a respected and prestigious organization. They soon learn that the demands and inflexible scheduling are not conducive to creating a balance between career and family responsibilities or interests outside of work. We are hearing from our colleagues that they will not apply for a position that requires a forty-hour work week. We are losing good people to other organizations so that they can maintain a work life balance. As RNs, APPs, Local 7 Healthcare Professionals who value our careers as health care providers for Kaiser Permanente Members, we respectfully request that full time employment be flexible and part time positions be offered to allow for a work life balance. We are available to have an in person meeting to discuss this in further detail. Thank you for your serious consideration, GI https://www.thepermanentejournal.org/doi/10.7812/TPP/05-092 Some takeaways from the article: “If we’re not taking care of ourselves, then how can we take care of our members future and to our reputation,” from the late Bernard Tyson. He goes on to say, “They are critical to our future because we depend upon people to deliver our health care. Sure, technology and well-calibrated equipment are also key tools in health care delivery, but it’s the people who bring the experience to life for our members and key stakeholders. Plus, in order for us to be respected in our field and viewed as America’s health leader, we must walk our talk.” Supporting a work environment that promotes employee health, wellness, and work-life balance is directly aligned with KP and Labor Management intentions and goals. KP leaders will continue to demonstrate our commitment to the wellness of our workforce by caring and respecting the physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being of employees and physicians.” Work-Life Balance: Care Instructions - https://healthy.kaiserpermanente.org › health-wellness As America’s health leader, we must walk our talk. https://www.theskimm.com/money After dealing with labor shortages and employee burnout, companies are taking things up a notch with work perks in 2023. And we’re not just talking about lunch stipends or ping-pong tables in the office. It’s called proactive rest. And it’s more than just taking your vacation days. Because waiting until you’re burned out to take care of yourself is so 2022. What is proactive rest? Proactive rest is how some companies are stepping up to prevent employee burnout at work, according to a Gartner workplace trends report. Instead of only relying on PTO, workplaces are adjusting their policies to give their employees breaks and flexibility. It's similar to active recoveries in fitness — rather than taking a full day of rest from working out, you might opt for a walk or some stretching instead. At work, proactive rest might look like: No-meeting blocks. When your company designates certain hours or days for no meetings. Flexible lunch breaks. Meaning, employees can choose when they take their breaks. Mandatory breaks. And that could be in addition to lunch. It may look like “wellness time” for you to take naps in the afternoon. Four-day work weeks. As in, getting the same amount of work done in fewer days — with no pay cuts. Office closures. That could mean a week-long company-wide break or summer Fridays. So you can switch from “TGIF” to “TGIT” from June through September. View post on Instagram Why is proactive rest important? Prioritizing rest can help companies boost productivity. It may sound counterintuitive, but a Gartner survey found a 26% increase in performance at companies that incorporated proactive rest. Plus, it could incentivize people to apply for jobs at these companies — and even slow turnover rates. Because burned out employees are more than three times likely to look for new jobs. For employees, burnout is still extremely common. And being able to get ahead of it can help avoid having to recover from burnout later on. Building rest into the work calendar can help encourage employees to actually use it. Because Americans aren’t the best at taking their PTO, even when it’s offered. And they typically put in extra hours: The average employee worked nine unpaid hours per week in 2022. If it sounds like hustle culture, it is. While it may be helpful for climbing the corporate ladder, it might come at the expense of your mental health. View post on TikTok theSkimm Companies are taking extra measures to keep employees’ mental health in check in 2023. Because free office snacks just aren’t cutting it anymore. And having the freedom to take care of yourself now can prevent you from struggling down the road.

Eurovision Song Contest is an international competition that has been running annually since 1956. It's a massive event as a total of 52 countries participated in Eurovision and it's a fun event. Everybody has their own reason for watching it from supporting their own country, celebrating different cultures, enjoying music to appreciating Dustin the Turkey.
You don't need to know details on how voting works or how Eurovision works as we are going to focus on something else. Specifically, the process of choosing the performer. Some countries have a committee that picks a willing performed and some host a competition.
The size and length of the competition differ in each country as every country has their own budget. You can either have Swedish Melodifestivalen or Polish Tu Bije Serce Europy! Wybieramy hit na Eurowizję!. Today, we are going to focus on Poland's history of pre-selections and the latest drama.
Important information.
The post is a bit unique due to the nature of the sources. It's recommended to listen to music videos from 2023 with headphones and without them to get the full experience. There will be mentions of gossip and conspiracies, so wearing a tin foil hat is recommended. Almost all sources are in Polish and they were translated by me. I'm not a professional translator and so I am prone to making mistakes. After a while, this post is going to be edited to include a link to a comment explaining the translation process. Some sources have comments sections and you may encounter triggering content.

Holding onto memories - The history of Poland in Eurovision

Poland debuted in 1994 with "To nie ja" by Edyta Górniak, who was sent by a Polish tv broadcaster known as TVP. The song almost got disqualified, but it wasn't and Górniak got 2nd place for Poland. It was the first time, when Poland was in the top 3 and also currently the last one.
Then there were 5 years of being outside the top 10, which resulted in Poland withdrawing from Eurovision 2000. Poland returned for the 2001 edition, but Piasek's bad performance resulted in Poland withdrawing again.
Then in 2003, Ich Troje with "Keine Grenzen - Żadnych Granic" finally breaks the unlucky strike as they manage to get 7th place. Unfortunately, the unlucky strike comes back. Blue Cafe only manages to get 17th place. Next years are similarly bad. 2 years of not qualifying for the final, 24th place and 3 years of not qualifying. One of the representatives that didn't qualify was Ich Troje, who came back with "Follow my heart".
Poland withdrew again for 2 years, partially due to hosting UEFA Euro with Ukraine. The return of Poland in 2014 was controversial as "My słowianie" by Donatan & Cleo was chosen. The song is basically about how Slavic girls are the best wives as they know how to use body language. It divided Polish viewers. Some treated it as a fun satire of Polish stereotypes (hypersexual girls, poor old-fashioned country, etc.), while others had issues with the song spreading these stereotypes and the sexual nature of the music video. According to one of the biggest Polish newspapers, Britain described the song as a typical weird Eurovision song and they thought it was about bread. Sweden threw sexism allegations, while Germany described the music video as softcore porn.
It also started a discussion about Eurovision and how it's viewed by others. The same newspaper described Polish viewers treating participation in Eurovision as a matter of national pride and how the scale of emotions is similar to a schizophrenic patient running from one end of the room to another. Even when the quality of competition can be questionable.
Donatan&Cleo got 14th place and Poland didn't withdraw. It was probably a good decision as Michał Szpak with his song "Colour of Life" got 8th place in 2016. There were two controversies surrounding Szpak. One of them was a difference between televotes and judges' votes, but the controversy was quickly forgotten. Another controversy is related to TVP, but I will cover it later.
Then Poland got 22nd place and it had 3 songs not qualifying for a final in the row, again. The third song that didn't qualify was "The Ride" by RAFAŁ, which became a meme due to a horrible live performance. It was so bad that many Polish viewers wanted RAFAŁ to not qualify for finals.
The unlucky strike got interrupted by "River" by Ochman, who managed to get 12th place. The live performance became meme due to cheap special effects.

I ain't done yet - Everything about TVP

TVP (Telewizja Polska S.A) is one of the oldest TV broadcasters in Poland and also a controversial one. If you say "politics" and "TVP" in one sentence, you are legally allowed to change your name to Pandora. But you can't escape from TVP, especially if you are interested in music competitions for newcomers. They are associated with one of the biggest music festivals in Poland (Opole Festival) and run three different editions of The Voice (Of Poland, Kids and Senior). Other TV broadcasters don't offer too much. Polsat keeps changing trying different formats and the last music competition was in 2020. TVN has only Got Talent.
Going back to Eurovision, TVP is responsible for anything related to Eurovision. Depending on the year, you may expect either an internal selection carried or a competition. Both of them have their own unique reputation due to many reasons.
The most controversial entry from an internal selection is The Ride from 2021. At that time, most people expected to see Alicja with her song "Empires". Alicja won Szansa na Sukces (a music competition, where singers get a chance to perform somewhere) and she was supposed to participate in Eurovision 2020, but it got cancelled due to covid. Most countries decided to send their 2020 representative, so expectations weren't unreasonable. Yet, TVP decided to do something else and Poland ended up getting multiple memes about RAFAŁ instead of the sweet victory.
However, this doesn't mean that music competitions are without flaws. Some people in TVP wanted to remove Michał Szpak from the competition due to being worried about him potentially winning, but the director Radek Kobiałko and other people organising the competition 2016 decided to stand up against it. The reason behind it is unclear, but Michał Szpak used to be controversial due to his androgynous looks and presentation.
Then there were some minor issues with the first edition Tu Bije Serce Europy!, which were brought up one year later due to the 2023 drama. Some viewers have noticed that one song "Paranoia" by Daria has been promoted by TVP. Daria performed her song before the show. She performed at New Year's Eve's Music Festival by TVP and somebody could say that was TVP's conspiracy to secure Daria's televotes victory. However, Ochman won and some say it was due to the voting consisting of two rounds.
This leads us to 26th February 2023 and the latest drama. Grab your popcorn as we are going back to the past and I am going to serve as your host.

Welcome to the party - The show

It's 17:30 and you are watching TVP 1. The show begins and so it's time to explain to you how the show works.
Tu bije serce Europy! Wybieramy hit na Eurowizję! 2023 works similarly to the previous edition. Every performed could send one song and that song had to meet standard requirements for Eurovision. Specific requirements are under point 6 and other rules, can be read here. Around 300 songs were sent to TVP and only 10 of them could make it to the show.
Each judge has 100 points and they have to judge each contestant... That's how I would explain rules if they weren't changed 4 days before the competition. It was a fully legal move from TVP as rule 39 specifies that TVP has the power to change rules. The explanation was given by TVP and rules were changed to be closer to those in Eurovision.
Now each judge gives points (12, 10, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1) to contestants. Points are then added together and the contestant with the highest total gets 12 points. The next person gets 10 points, etc. Viewers can still vote and they are still as important as judges. Voting works the same, except viewers don't give points.
Without further ado, let's meet the judges and the contestants.
The judges

• Edyta Górniak - She is our first judge and the chairwoman of judges. She is a singer active since 1990 and she has been at the centre of gossip magazines since her participation in Eurovision. She was a judge in some TVP music competitions such as The Voice of Poland and she performed in many events organised by TVP. She also performed in other shows hosted by other TV broadcasters. Like in the case of many stars, Górniak caused many controversies. One of the things that you should know is the fact that Górniak is spiritual and openly talks about her beliefs.
• Agustin Egurrola - If you are watching a music/dance competition or a music festival on TV, you will probably see him or his name. Egurolla is a famous dancer and choreographer. He worked in many different shows as either a dance choreographer or a judge. His dancers performed at NYE Music Festival 2022.
• Marek Sierocki - So there is a mixture here. He is well known for journalism, hosting some music competitions or being a commentator for those. This includes Eurovision Junior 2021.
• Aneta Woźniak - A new director in TVP. There isn't a lot of information about her and she was mostly involved with TVP ABC (a channel for children).
• Marcin Kusy - A director of Polish radio Jedynka.

The contestants

• Natasza "Lift U Up"- If you ever watched other Polish pre-selections or 365 days, you may know her. Her career is longer than my life and you would probably see her at least once on TVP.
• Kuba Szmajkowski "You Do Me"- A fresh blood in the Polish celebrity world. His career started after performing in The Voice Kids 2017 and he managed to perform in finals. He performed in TVP's New Year's Eve Music Festival 2021 and 2022
• Ahlena "Booty" - A new singer that never for the public. She started composing in 2020 and her first song was "Booty".
• Dominik Dudek "Be Good" - The winner of the latest edition of The Voice of Poland that had a final in November 2022. The show started his career.
• Alicja "New Home" - The winner of pre-selections for Eurovision 2020, which unfortunately didn't happen due to covid. She has won 3 music competitions broadcasted by TVP and her music career has been steady since 2019.
• Felivers "Never Back Down" - Another fresh blood in the music world that has been active for 3-4 years. They performed Uptown Funk at TVP's NYE music festival 2022.
• Maja Hyży "Never Hide" - An established star that has started her music career thanks to TVN's X Factor 2012. She performed with Kuba Szmajkowski in 2021 and 2022 at the same music festival.
• Jann "Gladiator" - His career started in 2020 and performed in an alternative music festival known as Off Festival. Tu Bije Serce Europy! is his TV debiut.
• Blanka "Solo" - 2021 can be considered as the start of her music career. Solo is her second song and she performed it for TVP's NYE Music Festival 2022. She also performed as a guest for You Can Dance - Nowa Generacja 2.
• Yan Majewski "Champion" - Yan is another contestant of The Voice of Poland, specifically the 2021 edition. He later performed at the Grand Prix Festival of young talents 2022, TVP's NYE music festival 2022 and You Can Dance - Nowa Generacja 2.

At this point, you may probably see 3 things that were pointed out by fans and the media. The most obvious one is a lack of songs in Polish. Feliver's song only has one Polish segment and that's it. It has been a point of competition criticism, but it isn't anything abnormal. Poland has sent multiple entries in English and even English & Spanish before.
Another thing that can be noticed is the fact that only Ahlena and Jann don't have ties to TVP. Many contestants have performed for TVP at one point and many of them performed a couple of months before the competition. In the case of Yan Majewski and Blanka, you could see them on TVP a couple of days before the competition.
The third thing would be the quality of the show. While not all videos come directly from TVP, the quality doesn't differ that much from what you would see on TV. Journalists and fans openly talked about their ears bleeding thanks to some performances. There were even jokes about the quality of special effects and anything related to visuals. At this point, Poland's special effects are a meme and you can find videos depicting how the performance of (Insert Eurovision 2023 contestant) would look like if they represented Poland. What doesn't help is the fact that recordings from the audience and journalists tend to have better audio.
From things that you could only see by watching the full show, all contestants got at least one round of applause from the public. The craziest applause was for Jann before and after his performance. The beginning of his introduction could be barely heard and even hosts acknowledged the madness after his performance.
Now let's reveal results. During the show, Edyta Górniak was responsible for revealing results.

Name	Score
Blanka	12
Dominik Dudek	10
Felivers	8
Jann	7
Natasza	6
Alicja	5
Yan Majewski	4
Kuba Szmajkowski	3
Maja Hyży	2
Ahlena	1

This didn't sit well with the public. When Jann's score was revealed, many people started booing. It was so loud that Edyta Górniak had to ask whoever was giving her score to repeat themselves and you could hear it on TV.
There was also another moment of booing and screaming "EDYTA" after the results were revealed. Then it changed to screaming "USTAWKA" (set-up) and one of the hosts had to calm down the public again. Performances of the contestants were replayed and you can guess what happened when Jann's performance was shown. The crowd went for applause this time and became quiet during Blanka's performance.
This brings us to televoting. Rules changed again and now you can send up to 20 SMS from one SIM card. The cost of one SMS is 3.69 zł, which was the equivalent of $0.83 (US), £0.69 or €0.78. The total number of votes is unknown.
So now let's reveal the final score and the televote scores.
​

Name	Total Score	Televote Score
Blanka	22	10
Jann	19	12
Dominik Dudek	18	8
Felivers	14	6
Yan Majewski	11	7
Alicja	10	5
Natasza	8	2
Kuba Szmajkowski	6	3
Maja Hyży	6	4
Ahlena	2	1

Originally, TVP didn't reveal televote scores and viewers only had the total score. The televote ranking has been released by TVP one day later. Number of televotes is still not confirmed. According to one source, TVP has received over 35000 votes. There is also gossip that Jann has received 18000 votes, while Blanka has received only 6000.
But even without specifics, the audience was lukewarm. When 2nd place and 1st place were about to be revealed, the audience was cheering for Jann. When Blanka was revealed, the audience lost its energy. There were some cheers instead of booing, but they weren't too loud.

They mad - Initial reactions

While Blanka's show didn't end with booing, celebrities and social media exploded.
The celebrities' side had reactions ranging from strongly negative to neutral. Ralph Kamiński was openly supporting Jann and even promoted him. He also criticised the format of the show and how only viewers should decide whom to send to Eurovision. He called the situation a "SCANDAL!" and "SHAME!!!".
Michał Szpak was supporting Jann. When the results were revealed, he supposedly end up laughing and swearing on Instagram. During one of his interviews, he openly states that he is in Team Jann but he will be still supporting Blanka. He also added there will be lots of work for Blanka, but he is still hopeful and the song itself is catchy. Maja Hyży, Kuba Szmajkowski, Doda and Roxie Węgiel (Eurovision Junior 2018 winner) share similar views. Their interviews can be reduced to how they were cheering for Jann or another contestant, but it doesn't mean that they will not support Blanka. Then there is a small talk about how she doesn't deserve hate or how her song is catchy.
When ask about songs and singing abilities, Agnieszka Hekiert end up praising Jann's vocal abilities and only said that Blanka's song is a well-produced pop piece. Similarly, Ochman avoided answering a more direct question "Does Blanka sing nicely?".
Another celebrity worth mentioning is Ramona Rey. She also preferred Jann and she was the first celebrity to call out the lack of clarity from TVP regarding how songs for the show were selected. She also called out the lack of Polish songs and mentioned how her rejected song predicted the future.
Even those supporting other contestants had a negative reaction to Blanka. Sandra Kubicka was supporting and promoting Dominik Dudek due to him "singing, playing the guitar, composing and writing his own songs". Her reaction to Blanka was calling her song "disco polo". Disco polo has a similar reputation to modern pop. Some love it and some consider it low-quality music.
Social media was less kind than celebrities. People were either attacking Blanka or TVP. Every tiny move of judges and contestants was analysed. Some even dug through the social media of contestants to make their point about how somebody deserves or doesn't deserve to represent Poland. At that time, you could easily encounter homophobia, racism and conspiracy theories.
Media obviously decided to produce multiple articles about this situation and every website presented something different. It's hard to say if they media the situation worse or better as multiple things have been happening at the same time.
People were divided. For some, Blanka was a twin sister of Ariana Grande that didn't show anything special. That's from one article and from there comments kept getting worse or better. Blanka was either considered a shallow rich girl with a generic song or a singer making others smile with her summer vibes. On another hand, Jann was a talented underdog who was too controversial for TVP or a copy of Måneskin that was singing out of tune.
TVP and others also got lots of comments. Some openly stated that they would be fine with Jann losing, if TVP decided to send either Dominik Dudek or Alicja. Others mentioned the political situation in Poland and how TVP perfectly shows corruption in Poland. One of the things that got pointed out was Blanka having a contract with Warner Music Poland and how TVP could earn money by having Blanka work for them.
Similar theories were slowly popping out and they were discussed by fans. So quickly fix your tin foil hats as we will be moving to the next sections.

Dance along with me - Egurrola's involvement

One of the most popular theories was how judges were voting for Blanka due to personal reasons. Agustin Egurolla and Edyta Górniak were the main focus of these theories.
To start with Egurrola, you can't run away with him as he is always doing something associated with dancing. He either sends his dancers or creates choreographies for multiple shows. Egurolla was supposedly working with Blanka for NYE 2022 music festival and his dancers performed with her for Tu Bije Serce Europy!. There were implications of potential bias and some people pushed this theory further. Supposedly, Egurrola didn't want Jann as Jann wouldn't agree to perform with his dancers and Egurolla wouldn't make money. The extra bit of this theory is based on the fact that Jann created his own choreography and performed without dancers.
Egurolla's controversy got worse thanks to his co-worker, Michał Piróg. Piróg published on his Instagram a picture of him with Egurrola and judges from You Can Dance - Nowa Generacja. In his description he wrote:

"I always sat behind the table and waited for something that would suprise me and enchant me, but there were those who asked beforehand "Who should be the best?"...."

This was later followed up by his comment, which appears to be deleted. Fortunately, the media saved it.

"The chairman, the second man on the picture, the man of the internal businness. Call it as you like"

The post was published a couple of days after the show and most people interpret it as a criticism of what happened in Tu Bije Serce Europy! and the implication that Egurrola had something to do with Blanka's victory.
In the end, the drama surrounding Egurrola died after a reveal that he will not work on Blanka's choreography for Eurovision.

Everybody has somebody - Involvement of Górniak's family

In the case of Górniak, there were multiple dramas surrounding her and her son. They lived for longer than Egurrola's drama due to Edyta's multiple responses and the fact that she was a chairwoman of judges.
Allan Krupa is Edyta's son and he is known as Enso. Most articles refer to him using his real name and so I am going to use it to be more or less consistent.
Going back to the main topic, it has been noticed that Allan was sitting next to Blanka during the competition and one picture was enough to start drama. People quickly started calling Blanka his friend or even lover. However, the first theory that Blanka is his friend became more popular due to Allan already dating somebody.
Allan quickly reacted to negative comments as some people were also attacking his girlfriends. He explained that he didn't even know there were pre-selections and he knew about them after his mother called him a day before. He didn't know other contestants, except for Felivers. He thought that Blanka was just a dancer and she asked him if she can sit next to him.
This wasn't the end as Allan went on some angry rants. Some phrases can't be directly translated without losing their original meaning, so I've tried my best to localise some bits. Check this comment for more information.

"People are writing to me - as if I had a f^^^ing connection to Eurovision - you are re^^^^ed or you are f^^^ing something else"

There was also another rant where he called people NPCs and how they make sh^t on the internet like animals for attention. He ends his rant saying that he understands that pre-selections are a situation of life or death and there is slaughter, when somebody doesn't win.
His story of not knowing Blanka was considered as weird. If it was true, then why Blanka had to search for a seat? Some questioned the legitimacy of this story as Allan has performed at NYE Music Festival 2022 like Blanka and he could theoreotically meet her there.
Allan was later defended by Edyta. He also posted some memes about how he manipulated pre-selections and Eurovision.

You do you and I do me - Edyta's involvement

Just after Blanka's victory, Górniak has been interviewed. She started her interviews by saying that Blanka was chosen by judges and also viewers, when she was expecting to see a change. She then went on a talk about how she thinks that viewers chose Blanka as they need something sunny and international. Also, how people lack something optimistic after all these dramas in their lives.
She then started describing Jann. She described him as demonic, but characteristic and full of charisma. The use of the word "demonic" became controversial and a meme due to being peculiar. What makes the situation worse is the reputation of Edyta when it comes to spirituality. As I've previously mentioned, Górniak is open about her beliefs and she even talked about bad energies, including how Halloween is bad. Funnily, Jann and somebody from his environment knew about this line and even made a joke about his salt necklace and potential exorcism.
To add salt to this situation, a recording from Dobry wieczór Europo! caught Górniak looking away and staring at the ceiling during the performance of Jann.
The day after the show, Edyta wrote a comment on her Instagram post saying that if anybody sees issues with the clarity, they should report them to the producer of the show.
There was also a small misunderstanding of rules from Edyta's side as she said that if people really wanted Jann to win, he would have won as televotes are responsible for 50% of the total score. But according to her, there were probably not enough votes sent to him.
To clarify, Jann got the maximum possible amount of points from viewers and it's unlikely that getting more votes would change anything. So either Górniak was confused by how scores work or she didn't know that Jann has won televote.
Small bits like that started accumulating and started creating a weird picture. During one of the interviews, Edyta stated that judges were questioning a bit if they should vote together or separately. At the end they shared each other's views while hiding their notes and voted separately.
The weirdest thing was the timeline of events presented by Edyta. According to her, votes were collected right away and judges didn't have time to further discuss them. Votes were counted while she was preparing for her guest performance during the ad break. However, later she stated that judges gave their voting cards when she was going to the stage to perform. What doesn't click here is the fact that Górniak was performing after the ad break.
This either means that votes were collected twice (before and after the ad break) or Górniak misremembered the timeline of events. This added fuel to the fire and people kept asking for voting cards. Górniak responded to that stating that she wouldn't have issues with her voting card being revealed. She also revealed that she was receiving results through her earpiece. It had a mixed reaction as TVP didn't reveal anything specific about voting cards and the bit about the earpiece fuelled the theory that somebody was manipulating behind the scenes.
The whole drama with Edyta Górniak was closed by her final comments. In one of the deleted comments she openly said that she is getting hatred for just reading results and some hatred is coming from people due to her being an easier target than the institution. Then there were two comments that you just have to read:

"Regarding the project Eurovision, I've lost my trust to everybody. Even if the rules were about to be change and fixed, I will never go back to this topic. I've seen what was happening last year, I have also seen what people were doing when Rafał was sent to Eurovision. And now the same thing is happening. I feel like a shield that was borrowed by somebody and put at the front of doors. This topic is closed for me."

The other comment:

"I am sure that time will tell and respond to all doubts. [...] I recommend to remember that despite of me being an influential person, I am not a boss of bosses and I can't do everything. [...] I will pray for justice"

You are about to know - Other dramas

So before we talk about Blanka herself, there are some small things worth mentioning. They are mostly based on gossip and they didn't live too long.
According to one of the theories, TVP was setting up MaRina as Poland's representative. She supposedly had to just send her song and everything would be set up. But after her performance at NYE Music Festival 2022, she supposedly withdrew.
From the same source, there is a gossip that one judge had issues with Jann's costume and choreography They supposedly found his costume as too inappropriate and too controversial. His choreography supposedly had some errors. These factors together supposedly created an impression on this judge that Jann would struggle to get points at Eurovision.
Another drama was caused by the release date of the article about Blanka's victory. The article was supposedly released around 2 hours before the competition and some people supposedly have seen it before Blanka's victory was revealed. However, there is no evidence of that and TVP explained the issue with the time of the article. The article supposedly saved the date of creation of the article instead of the release or final edit. The article was created early to publish results as fast as possible and it didn't contain names of contestants.
The final thing worth mentioning is an article talking about how pre-selections in Moldova and Serbia were better than Polish pre-selection. Moldova showed the individual votes of judges and amount of votes sent by viewers, while Serbia released voting cards. Even Lithuania and Latvia were praised.
The cherry on top is a depiction of how much Germany's ranking would change if they followed the rules of Polish pre-selections. Lord of the Lost would get a second, while Will Church (the winner of the judge's voting) would win instead.
This is similar to one theory that the previous representative of Poland, Ochman wouldn't win if the competition followed new rules. This cemented an impression that rules were changed to set up a winner.

It's kinda crazy - Blanka

Since results the reveal of the results, Blanka had to deal with multiple comments and memes. Depending on whom you ask, their perception of Blanka will vary. For some, she became "Bejba" due to her pronunciation of "Babe" and multiple memes. Bejba became viral and Ochman joined the trend. Even Blanka herself embraced the meme by wearing a dress with the text "Bejba". She explained her decision by stating that everybody now calls her bejba.
For some, she became a symbol of everything wrong with TVP and people started searching for evidence of corruption or Blanka being evil.
Somebody pointed out that Blanka's mother was working for TVP as a make-up artist for some shows. But it's possible that she was working for a company that happened to work for TVP and other tv broadcasters. For some, it was treated as evidence that Blanka has direct connections to TVP and there could be some bias.
Then there was another controversy regarding Blanka's social media. She supposedly liked comments that were saying that Jann is from the margin of society, which was interpreted as a classist remark or queerphobia. Just in case, Jann didn't say anything about being LGBTQ+ and only his appearance is relatively androgynous. Going back to the topic, some people defended Blanka stating that she could miss this bit as the comment starts as rather supportive. Some questioned the validity of it as Blanka's relationship with Jann appears to be positive. Blanka complimented Jann, while Jann was one of the first people to cheer her up after the competition and even defended her.
Another controversy was plagiarism. Specifically, there were allegations that Blanka either copied Clean Bandit's Solo or INNA's Up. These allegations remained allegations and that was their end.
The final controversy surrounding Blanka was a petition for Blanka's removal. There were two petitions and one of them has 91170 signatures. People wanted transparency from TVP and to see Jann perform in Eurovision. Blanka reacted to the petition and she was hurt by it.

Never back down - Eurovision

This year, Eurovision was divided into two parts. There were two semi-finals and one final. During the semi-finals, only viewers could vote.
Blanka performed in the second semi-final without massive issues and got 124 points. As a result, she got 3rd place in the second semi-final. It was a gigantic success and she beat the previous representative of Poland. Details can be found on Eurovision website.
Generally speaking, there was a positive reaction. People have praised Blanka for improving her performance, especially her vocals. Solo became one of the most popular Eurovision 2023 songs.
There were only two minor issues worth mentioning. Norway's newspaper Verdens Gang has openly criticised Blanka. Unfortunately, my Norwegian is non-existent and so this translation is straight from Google Translate. The original comment can be found here.

"Polish plastic pop reggae in the category that was once dominated by Swedes in the Stone Age (nineties). Blanka is probably not singing about Norwegian orange soda or a scruffy looking Star Wars hero, but about being completely alone in a relationship. The best thing that can be said about the "Solo" show is that she has the best glove of the finale. She falls out of tune, and loses her tone several times, That she actually thinks she can sing is hopelessly overwhelming. That, and that no adults have stopped this - regardless of the corruption charges."

Even Sweden talked about potential corruption and nepotism. They mentioned that Blanka's choreography was created by Egurolla. Funnily, even Edyta Górniak was mentioned, but she was called Blanka's mother-in-law.
Then there was a final performance, which had a similar reaction. The only difference was the lack of drama from the media and Polish fans even being proud of her. Blanka was placed 24th by judges and she was better than two performers. However, she got 8th place in televoting and it got her 19th place. A bit worse than the previous representative, who got 12th place.

The conclusion

Blanka managed to partially save her face and it's unclear what's going to happen in future. Blanka after Eurovision went on vacation and there hasn't been much news about her.
There was some discussion regarding her placement in televotes ranking and some people in the Eurovision subreddit have used her to make a point about how televoting is bad, while discussing the whole drama that happened due to Loreen's victory. For more information, I recommend checking this write-up.
Other contestants of pre-selections are doing fine and many of them released new songs. Especially Jann is doing well as his fanbase tripled in size and he is going to perform at OGAE Second Chance. Edyta Górniak and her son are still active, while Agustin Egurrola is focusing on his dance studio.
TVP is still controversial due to politics and it will probably remain controversial for a long time due to recent events. Years of bad reputation are hard to erase and most people are ready for another controversy Eurovision controversy.

Who else is trying to dropship using TikTok Shop? After jumping through a bunch of annoying hoops I was able to start putting my product in my organic TikTok videos and I have gotten a few orders so far.
The problem, naturally, is shipping. Its my biggest problem because TikTok Shop will automatically cancel the order if it is not shipped 7 business days after the order was placed. To TTS, this means the order being collected by the US carrier (USPS, FedEx, etc.), not when the Chinese carrier ships the item. You have to provide a shipping number and you cant even submit one for those Chinese carriers.
So, in essence, when the customer orders the product it only has 7 business days to reach the US or else TTS will auto-cancel it. I currently use CJDropshipping, and the processing times have been a disaster so far, 5-6 days before shipping it out. Notice how that is almost the entire time I have to get the product to the US carrier. The only saving grace for 2 of my orders is that they were placed in a position where the allotted processing/shipping periods go over weekends, giving me 4 crucial extra days. My other order is going to be auto cancelled in 2 days and it literally hasn't even left China yet, guess i'm just out $47 there.
My only option really is to just try to find a good supplier that can get my product to the US as fast as possible, that is the absolute most important part, once the US carrier has it, there speed doesn't matter as much because TTS gives the customer a delivery range and it is like 3 weeks.
But I would like to know who else is using TTS to dropship and how you guys are pulling it off.

Who else is trying to dropship using TikTok Shop? After jumping through a bunch of annoying hoops I was able to start putting my product in my organic TikTok videos and I have gotten a few orders so far.
​
The problem, naturally, is shipping. Its my biggest problem because TikTok Shop will automatically cancel the order if it is not shipped 7 business days after the order was placed. To TTS, this means the order being collected by the US carrier (USPS, FedEx, etc.), not when the Chinese carrier ships the item. You have to provide a shipping number and you cant even submit one for those Chinese carriers.
​
So, in essence, when the customer orders the product it only has 7 business days to reach the US or else TTS will auto-cancel it. I currently use CJDropshipping, and the processing times have been a disaster so far, 5-6 days before shipping it out. Notice how that is almost the entire time I have to get the product to the US carrier. The only saving grace for 2 of my orders is that they were placed in a position where the allotted processing/shipping periods go over weekends, giving me 4 crucial extra days. My other order is going to be auto cancelled in 2 days and it literally hasn't even left China yet, guess i'm just out $47 there.
​
My only option really is to just try to find a good supplier that can get my product to the US as fast as possible, that is the absolute most important part, once the US carrier has it, there speed doesn't matter as much because TTS gives the customer a delivery range and it is like 3 weeks.
But I would like to know who else is using TTS to dropship and how you guys are pulling it off.

I am a simply a moderately dysphoric transsexual male who just wants to be a legally biologically and socially addressed as any other regular ass dude would be through this extremely modernized woke elitist society holy goddamn this really fucking pisses me off to the point where my blood starts to boil at scorching heat.
I don't want to associated with trigger happy hyper woke extremist cancel culture PC Twitter or clout chasing TikTok users who thinks all gendered language is discrimination or people who think that calling themselves silly ass things pixiegender, clovergender, catgender, and doggender is automatically completely the same as or remotely similar to me who is a transsexual male unfortunately lacking the proper genetically developed male sex anatomy after several years of conceived by my own stubborn ignorant mother at birth.
I don't want to associated with anything lgbt related that harshly or passive aggressively demands that the world must permanently abolish or completely eradicate all types of maleness and femaleness just to please a much smaller minority of people that think anything classified as male or female is automatically by default wrong evil or bad within our lives through our current society.
I hate that having transsexual sex dysphoria has now currently been negatively bastardized and tainted by chronically online radical tumblrinas and pathetic attention seeking clout chasing tiktokers who want to be seen as quirky and unique as possible or to gain extra views plus followers in the lowest way possible.
This type of shit show nonsense may not be the ONLY contributing factor causing the huge decline of genuine acceptance, respect, humanity, and empathy towards all transsexual men and women but it damn sure doesn't hope things at all when for so many years dysphoria was classified as a neurological chemical imbalance in the brain with some scientific basis sources confirming this but now we have to actually legitimize stupid fucking moron things like clownself pronouns, rainbowgender, stargender, and chocogender without getting cancelled by 90% of the human population who has a clear minded brain capable of having coherent common sense.
It also causes me to feel nothing but frustration and disappointment due to me looking towards my childhood specifically when I went through unwanted female sex changes within hormonal adolescence that has brought nothing but serious depression, anxiety, and sometimes irritability because of my mother or my entire family collectively in the past not giving a single damn about me feeling upset about not growing functioning testicles balls and a dick along with having to show off my chest when bra shopping or my own oldest cousin who thinks I'm an complete total utter outcast ranked even lower than an effeminate man who was still born a male because of this physical defect stemming from my dysphoria in the goddamn first place.
It does have this negatively toxic effect of making me feel like an defective, awful, damaged, broken young man born into the wrong sexed body that should've genetically been developed into an normal biologically male body without struggling with financially or medically stressful changes, a young man who will unforturnately, never be closely completely & truly loved in his own family as anyone's closest grandson, great nephew, younger son (by his own mother), or a little brothebig brother.
All of this fake progressive wannabe woke neopronoun xenogender bullshit is going to absolutely do nothing but make all of us transsexual males and transsexual females who have true physiological/neurological sex rooted dysphoria look like insane assasine lunatics who have no grasp of factual reality which really really grinds my gears to the fiber and core of my already dark clouded emotional state because this shit at this point should have been stopped during 2013-2016 year eras it's really just getting so goddamn old and annoying at this point for fucks sake.

She completely changed her identity to look like this woman, used her name for her TikTok and onlyfans accounts, got surgery to have the same face (failed miserably), forced her way into going to Sweden to hold Pixee hostage and then bullies her to speak frequently on video chat? Pixee always looks SO uncomfortable and disgusted. I would too, I know how bad cherry smells. Did you guys see the meltdown when Pixee cancelled on her the first time? And then the creepy posts about finding Swedish girls with plastic surgery attractive and then the one about BECOMING HER. I know her new obsession is Kanika, that’s why she’s trying (and failing) to become a sociopath and she makes people so uncomfortable that she needs to beg them online to spend time with her. Also her eyes are so droopy and she owns ONE pair of broke ass sunglasses from Walmart.

This is the last post for this campaign. I want to thank the LFG community so immensely for how supportive you've all been. D&D has become my passion to the point of (healthy) obsession. Hundreds of NPC's, thousands of elements, resources, gosh even fish that populate our next campaign region. And even in the last 3 posts I've made friends that will last forever. Genuinely, I'm so grateful. So from the deepest, most genuine corner of my heart - THANK YOU. 🙏 Your enthusiasm, your spirit, your shared love for D&D – it's been a beacon of light in the darkest dungeons, a guide in the most confounding mazes. See you in "The Stranger"! 🎲💕
Original post: https://www.reddit.com/lfg/comments/13gfsqa/online5eetutc4_the_stranger_cosmic_horro (graciously reviewed and approved by the subreddit mods)
This is Post (4/4), we're posting this four weeks in a row before making final picks.
Preface
This is a long post - crazy long even. That's because we care so much to find those just as impassioned as we are about this amazing hobby. We love high quality D&D campaigns, and we believe it takes effort and time to make it happen. If you take the effort to get through learning about us in this post, reading every word with care and interest, we will do the same with your application.
Our commitments:

• We will respond personally to each and every application, giving constructive feedback and/or move you to the next stage!

How to Apply

• Application Link: https://www.avarra.world
• Promo Video: https://youtu.be/RbfQWegafX8
• Sample session: https://youtu.be/FDNHxkNXM5Y?t=13120 (We're doing something new for the next campaign, and while not quite full-effort, this is a closer example of what we're going for)
• Ask a question about the lore or world in the comments! And we'll respond in character (from one of our many current character). Thumbs us up or down this post, interact to help us be visible!
• The rest are provided after application has been submitted.
• Need to get in touch privately? My discord is Wes#8045.

World Preface

In the enchanted realm of Avarra, where high magic weaves its intricate web through the fabric of existence, a burgeoning form of sorcery takes root. Secluded on the island city of Crowperch, the pursuit and mastery of void magic are richly rewarded, enticing arcanists from the farthest reaches of the world to unravel its mysteries. Yet, the enigmatic allure of Crowperch extends beyond the arcane; a diverse tapestry of industry, history, and craftsmanship entwines the island's very essence.
Beneath the surface, the island's riches reveal themselves: the mines and quarries, abundant with untapped potential, and the surrounding seas, offering bounties from the ocean's depths. Ancient archaeological sites whisper secrets of bygone eras, while artisans ply their remarkable skills on the bustling city streets. Tales of a long-forgotten, rumored treasure continue to captivate the imaginations of adventurers and sightseers alike.
But one must pay a steep price for this wealth of opportunity and intrigue. It is wise to avert one's gaze from the iron grip of autocratic rule and the unyielding scrutiny that looms over the island's denizens. For those who venture to Crowperch, a single obligation remains: seek your heart's desire, and then depart – for the island's enigmatic embrace is not meant to last forever.

Application Overview
In this sacred fellowship, we stand steadfast in the face of the dreaded D&D group killers. Our commitment to this game is unwavering, for it is not just a hobby, but a way of life - an appointment that must be kept at all costs. For us, the work does not end with character creation or worldbuilding. Nay, we strive for a deep understanding of each character, for their hopes and dreams, their fears and flaws, so that we may weave a complex and enthralling campaign that will leave you breathless. We implore you, dear adventurer, to show up regularly and with a burning passion in your heart. Let your excitement be infectious, let your dedication be unwavering.
Overview

• Game Day: Saturday
• Players: 6 (5 Regular, 0-1 Floating/Guest)
• DM(s): 2 (1 Regular, 0-1 Floating/Guest)
• Game Length: 3 Months mini-arc, then decide whether to continue. However accommodate for 1-2 years on your schedule.
• Start Date: First week of September (Yes, 5 months away)

Selection Criteria (In order of importance)

• Qualification: TTRPG Experience, RP/Improv Ability
• Questionnaire answers
• Participation in One-Shots & Community so we can get to know you.

Investment
This campaign is getting some big investment. All players will get custom commissions of their characters, animated. Additionally, we are commissioning all maps, tokens, flairs, and elements to make this truly something special.
Campaign Preface

As twilight descended upon the restless sea, the ancient ship, Her Royal Rose, creaked under the weight of its cargo. Its passengers, a motley assortment of scholars, fisherman, guard and others with business on the island of Crowperch, sit tightly in cramped quarters. Even as the tempestuous winds moaned through crevasse and open windows, the opportunities and tasks that beckon them to the island keep them going, a siren's call that drowned out the ocean's roar.The skies above were an oppressive tapestry of writhing clouds, their tendrils suffocating the last vestiges of daylight as if to obscure the path to the island. A shroud of mist swallowed the horizon, leaving the ship to navigate through a nebulous labyrinth, its destination only guaranteed by Captain Alaric Thorne.
As Her Royal Rose inched closer to Sove, the air grew heavy with mist and sea salt which deposited itself gradually on the railings, sails and masts. Little Henry Williams, the ship's messenger runs throughout the halls pattering on each door, "The captain has an announcement, all to the deck. The captain has an announcement, all to the deck." The clacking of his wooden foot pattering one after another with each step, a disfigurement he earned while working aboard Her Royal Rose.
Captain Alaric Thorne stood on the deck, the salty wind tugging at his weathered features. His voice rang out, its timbre heavy with authority and unease, as he addressed the gathered passengers."Ladies and gentlemen, I must bring to your attention an unfortunate turn of events. It seems the Saturation has arrived earlier than anticipated this year. As many of you know, this phenomenon causes an unnaturally heavy accumulation of salt in the air, resulting in deposits that weigh down our vessel."He paused, letting the gravity of the situation settle upon his passengers before continuing, "This unexpected occurrence has forced us to halt our usual schedule, for the safety of both the ship and her passengers. Once Her Royal Rose arrives, she will remain anchored at Sove until the Saturation clears, as navigating these treacherous waters under such conditions would be inviting disaster."
A murmur of concern rippled through the crowd, many who were on this voyage planned their departure prior to The Saturation. The captain raised his hand to quell their rising unease. "I understand this may cause you some inconvenience, but I assure you, we will resume our journey as soon as it is safe to do so. In the meantime, you may continue your research, tasks and exploration on the island. Sove is well stocked and very hospitable to travelers especially those displaced during our seasonal shifts."
With that, Captain Thorne turned away, leaving the passengers to ponder the implications of his words as the first tendrils of salt-laden mist began to coil around the ship, heralding the arrival of the Saturation.
In the dimly lit corners of their minds, the passengers could sense a truth they dared not confront: Their voyage to Crowperch was going to be a lot longer than they had hoped. As the ship drew nearer to the island, the shadows beneath the spires of the fortress atop the mountain loomed over the ship, casting a shadow over what little moonlight illuminated the darkness.

Technology

• D&D Beyond: We own ALL books on D&D Beyond, and all of them will be at your disposal for your campaign.
• Owlbear Rodeo 2.0: This new VTT is extremely promising, and has the customization ability for us to do VERY interesting unique things. We're switching here from Roll20.
• Discord: Voice chat & messenger for our campaigns. Video is required, however is not recorded. Offline RP included!
• Obsidian: How players track the world's expanding lore, and how we the DM's keep track of things. You don't have to use this, but it's a highly recommended tool for note taking.
• Recorded Sessions: Sessions will be recorded, edited and posted online. Proceeds from monetization will be used to level up our recording, roleplaying, technology and setup, get commissions, maps and such. Players will not be paid for participation, however this is possible for the future if we grow. Sessions are recorded using OBS.

Monetization
So we are still small, so monetization isn’t at the top of our list. That said, our goal is to

1. Play Excellent D&D
2. Donate to charity
3. Re-invest to make better content and
4. Compensate players to allow them to play more D&D.

How specifically that all happens is still obscured by the mists of time. By participating in this campaign players release all intellectual property created for the campaign to Roll for Impact and related brands. Please note that this is meaningless while we're still small, but consider this hopeful thinking for our success. The next campaign is getting SO much effort, so we want to stay safe.
Campaign Rules

• Backstory: Crafting a compelling backstory for your character is essential for a great adventure. By providing a reason for your character to be adventuring with others and offering plot hooks for the DM to work with. Rather than focusing on build concepts, take this opportunity to create a real, relatable character. Who knows what unexpected twists and turns your backstory might bring to the campaign? So, let's get to writing - your character's fate is in your hands!
• Stats: Ah, stats - the bread and butter of any adventurer's character sheet. But let's face it, nobody likes a Mary Sue or a Jim The Commoner. That's why we're going to be rolling 4d6 drop the lowest, but with a twist! Each player will only generate one stat, which will then be compiled into one array for everyone to use. That way, you still get the fun of rolling, but we won't have any lopsided parties where one person is carrying the whole team. Because let's be real, nobody wants to be stuck playing the equivalent of a wet noodle while someone else is shooting laser beams out of their eyes. So, roll those dice and let fate decide your fate!
• Starting Level: Starting our campaign at level 3 makes sense because many classes get their major features at level 3, avoiding the issue of players missing out on the fun stuff. This also prevents weird mid-game transformations that can come from certain builds and allows for multiclass combos right out of the gate. So, let's start the adventure with confidence and balance, knowing that we've got all the good stuff from the get-go!

Homebrew

• Free Feat: We're giving you an extra feat at first level, but with a catch - it must tie into your backstory or character design in a compelling way. By doing this, we hope to reduce the cookie-cutter nature of low level characters and encourage backstory development. Rather than just taking a feat because you need it, we want you to create a unique and interesting character from the get-go. So, let's spice things up and see what kind of story you can bring to the table!
• Healing Potions: Get the max benefit as an action, or use a bonus action to get the rolled benefit.
• Flanking: Flanking now grants a +2 to hit instead of advantage, and you can't flank someone if you're being flanked yourself. But that's not all - if three or more combatants are flanking a single enemy, that enemy is officially Surrounded, and you get a +5 to melee weapon attacks. So, let's get out there and show those enemies what it means to be surrounded by a bunch of hyped-up adventurers! (But remember, enemies get the same benefit too.)
• Zero HP & Exhaustion: Everyone takes the homebrew feat Battle Fatigue. This homebrew rule makes repeated downs more punishing on players in a campaign. You may be downed (Con Modifier) times before receiving one point of exhaustion. Each time this ticker fills up, reset it and add one point of exhaustion.
• Starting Common Magic Item: At first level, all characters get a common magic item of their choice. Similar to feats, this must be related to your backstory.
• Dual Wielding: RAW, DW doesn't allow you to add the modifier to the attack, so we add the modifier to the roll like a normal roll. You still get a weaker weapon, but now at least you get to get more power from the attack.
• Resurrection: (Modified Critical Role Rules) Resurrection isn't easy, folks - you'll need to pass a DC of 10 just to be brought back. But that's just the beginning. The party can all contribute to aiding in your resurrection with multiple ability checks, and even sacrifices in the deceased's name. The Dungeon Master determines the DC for each check and makes a final resurrection roll to see if the ritual is successful. The DC for this final roll depends on how many times the character has been resurrected before and how successful the contributions were. So, bring your A-game (and maybe a goat or two) if you want to make it back from the great beyond. Each resurrection adds +5 to the DC, before party contributed modifiers.
• Death Saving Throws: These are rolled privately to the DM.
• Slow Natural Healing: Characters don't regain hit points at the end of a long rest. Instead, a character can spend Hit Dice to heal at the end of a long rest, just as with a short rest. A long rest allows the use of up to half of your total Hit Dice, +1 for sleeping somewhere comfortable, +1 for having a meal/ ration. Order: The character regains half their hit dice, then they can spend their hit dice to recover hit points.
• Silvery barbs: Silvery barbs is a second level spell.

Table Homebrew

• Turn Time Limits: We're keeping things moving with turn time limits, folks. Pay attention on other player's turns and avoid flipping through your PHB or counting dice ad nauseam. Exceptions are made for new players or chaotic combat, but we want you to look up spells and rules off-turn whenever possible. Slow combat leads to mental check-outs and boredom, so let's keep things snappy. If your turn takes too long, someone else will jump in front of you. It's like musical chairs, but with spells and swords instead.
• New Homebrew: If you've got some hot new content you want to play with, I'm your guy. Just slide into my DMs and let me take a look. Now, I'm not saying I'm gonna approve everything - I mean, some of you are out here trying to create a race of sentient cheese wheels (looking at you, Matt) - but I'll do my best to give you clear, concise well informed ruling on it.

Scheduling

• Session Length: ~7 Hours
• Scheduling Firm Up: Sessions are scheduled concretely, but we will firm up every 4 weeks on the next month's schedule for conflicts. Exceptions are always made for life events or serious circumstances. Life happens, and we understand that sometimes we or you may need to cancel. This is always fine, provided it is not regularly occurring. Our schedules are made every 4 weeks in advance. If your game days are always difficult to schedule, this may not be the campaign for you. In regards to scheduling, you must be able to open a clear line of communication between the DM throughout the week, in case of any emergency schedule changes or conflicts. If you are a hard person to get in touch with every week, again, this may not be the campaign or group for you.

Session Structure

• Start: Everyone arrives to the table and calls in on Discord. Players should also take this time to open up all the required programs and have all their materials ready. We also suggest getting some snacks here too! Bonus points for a tasty beer as well!
• Recap & Warmup (30 min): After arriving and having all our materials prepared, we begin our first activity of the session: Player Recaps! We will do this every single week, and it should be a great tool for getting insight into each character’s head and getting us caught up. We may play warm up games, and roleplay challenges.
• Session (2.5 hours): Well, this is of course where the magic happens! We roll dice, we laugh, the DM laughs, the dice laugh, the dice are mimics, oh no…
• Break (30 min): These breaks do not include bio breaks or your need to use the restroom. If you ever need to run to the bathroom or refill your glass real quick, you’re good!
• Session Continued (2.5 hours): We’ll carry on through the second part of the session!
• Session Recap (30 min): We'll discuss what happened during the session, as well as what we plan to do next session, while we finalize session notes.

Playstyle

• Roleplay: Get ready for some serious roleplaying, folks, because that's what we're all about. We're looking at a 70/30 split of roleplay to combat, maybe even heavier on the roleplay. It's all about immersing ourselves in the world of Avarra and telling a great story together. Sure, there may be some deviations depending on the scenarios and encounters, but we're here to communicate and engage with each other and the world on a deeper level. So, let's put on our acting hats and dive headfirst into the magical realm of Avarra.
• Hyper immersion: We're not just here to hack and slash our way through this world - we're here to really get into the nitty-gritty details. I'm talking about the flavors in each mug of ale or wine at the local tavern (because let's be real, nobody likes a bland drink), cooking around the campfire under a tree during a cool and rainy night, and even delving into the plot of that book you just picked up on your way out of town. And let's not forget about forming real relationships with your fellow characters. After all, who wants to adventure with a bunch of strangers? We're here to create meaningful connections and really bring this world to life. And to all you hack-and-slashers out there - sorry, but this might not be the group for you.
• Note Taking: The pen is mightier than the sword! And let me tell you, if you want to get the most out of Avarra, it's better to be a note taker. Especially in this next campaign! We're talking about a world that's drenched in complexity and nuance, from the setting to the story to the characters that inhabit it. And let's not forget about those intricate and subtle webs that outline the machinations of the antagonists. Oh yeah, we're going deep. But here's the deal - nothing is handed to you on a silver platter in this campaign. You're gonna have to work for it. That means constantly paying attention, working with each other, and using those note-taking skills to uncover all the hidden secrets this world has to offer. And who knows, maybe you'll even uncover some secrets about your fellow adventurers along the way. (Hey, it's possible, right?) So grab your pens, folks, because we've got a lot of worldbuilding to do.
• Teamwork: teamwork makes the dream work! We're not just a bunch of individual characters running around doing our own thing - we're building a story together that encompasses every player and character. This isn't just your story, and it's not just the DM's story. This is OUR story, and we're all playing a crucial role in it. That means you need to be a team player and work together to overcome the challenges ahead. Trust me, you're gonna need each other to survive this campaign. And hey, who knows - maybe you'll even make some lifelong friends along the way.
• Immersion: If you can be in character, you should be in character! Roleplaying is all about improv, saying yes, and going with the flow. And let's be real, the best roleplay experiences can't happen if people are constantly breaking character for no reason. I mean, that's just not good improv, folks. So, here's the deal - we expect our players to remain in character as often as possible at the table. This is theater, after all, and we need to act like we're on stage. So let's embrace our inner thespians, folks, and get ready to bring this story to life like never before.
• Rules and Terms & Conditions: Excluding homebrew, the overall rules of “gameplay” are pretty standard and in accordance with RAW.
• Milestone Leveling: You'll level up according to the story. This means that we can focus less on the grind and more on a steady progression as the story builds. And let's be real, who wants to spend all their time grinding anyway? (Not me, that's for sure. #worldbuilding).
• Table Etiquette: Be willing to listen to others and grow. I mean, let's be real - part of growing close to others and forming real relationships is learning that you can't just have carbon copies of yourself. And let's face it, none of us are perfect. So, here's the deal - emotions might flare up, idiosyncrasies might arise, and sometimes, there might be a little friction. But that's all part of being human, folks. And to be a truly good friend and player, you must always be willing to listen to your peers and adapt accordingly. I mean, that's just part of being an adult. And who knows - maybe you'll learn a thing or two about yourself along the way. (Or maybe you'll just learn that you're really bad at listening. Either way, it's a learning experience.) So let's embrace our humanity, folks, and get ready to form some real relationships at this table.
• Communication: Poor scheduling and bad communication are like the kryptonite of D&D campaigns. And we don't want any kryptonite around here, do we? (No, we do not.) So, if you're part of this group, that means you've gotta keep those communication lines open. If you're someone who likes to manipulate your availability or you're just plain untrustworthy when it comes to communication, well, let's just say that you'll be removed faster than a married paladin in a brothel. (Okay, maybe that's not the best analogy, but you get the idea.)
• Showtime: Alright folks, it's time to shine! When we all arrive at the table, it's like the lights come on and the show begins! I mean, we take a lot of pride and care with our performance here, and we treat it like real theater most of the time. (No, we don't have an intermission or a concession stand, but we're working on it.) It's okay if you're not the best voice actor or you don't have a Shakespearean-level monologue prepared. (Although if you do, please share. We're always looking for some high-quality entertainment.) What matters to us is that you tried and put in the effort. Because at the end of the day, that's what makes this campaign special - the effort and enthusiasm that we all bring to the table.
• Pay attention: When someone's consistently getting distracted it's easy to derail the immersion and fun, it's like throwing a wrench in the whole machine. And let me tell you, it's not a fun sound. That's why we have specific policies in place to make sure everyone's time and effort is being respected. And listen, we all get it - sometimes the outside world can be pretty darn distracting. (Have you seen TikTok lately? It's a black hole, I tell ya.) But here's the deal - we hold each other accountable for paying attention and staying focused, because we all want to have a good time and make the most of this campaign.
• Spotlight: Do you find yourself hogging the spotlight/air every session? Are you someone who constantly talks over others? Are you selfish about the story and really only care about where your character is going every episode? Are you hoarding all the gold and being a murder hobo? This group isn’t for you.

What We Expect & Ask of You

• As the Dungeon Master, I want to make it clear that we're not just looking for players - we're looking for friends. Our aim is to build real, lasting friendships through this game. We've been playing together for a while and plan on playing for even longer. As we add more people to our community, we hope to grow together as a team!
• We don't want any satellite players here. We want active members who will contribute to the group beyond just showing up and playing.
• Honesty is crucial to us. We demand that everyone in our group has integrity not only for us, but for themselves as well. Whether it's scheduling conflicts, personal issues, or anything in between, we want friends who will be honest with each other. As the saying goes, "If you don't heal your wounds, you end up bleeding on others you might care for."
• Players are here to play, not watch. We want everyone at the table to engage with the world, the DM, and their fellow players. If you're taking up a seat at this table, you must actively participate in the story every session. You cannot sit back and listen to it.
• This campaign is meant to be challenging. It's supposed to be deep, confusing, and enthralling around every corner. There are no billboards telling you where to go next, no tutorials, and no easy modes. The intricate web being spun by the many powers of this story and world will take all of your combined minds to figure out. Our group wants a game that keeps us on our toes, so if you think you can just "fight" your way to victory, you'll be dead by morning light.
• Lastly, we love theory crafting. We want everyone to give their input and help us figure out the best moves for the group. Part of being an active player here is contributing to the campaign and helping us navigate this crazy world. So let's get ready to play and work together to make this an unforgettable campaign!

Timeline:

• Stage 2 Interviews: 5/29/23-6/22/23
• Public Applications Close: 6/12/23
• Stage 3 Interviews: 6/23/23-7/1/23
• Final Picks: 7/15/23 (or as soon as possible)
• Campaign Start Date: 8/5/23 or 8/6/23

I realize this might seem like a very intensive process, however we're being very thorough. Because we have gotten so many excellent applicants, we are going to have no choice but to make some hard decisions.
Picks:

• 1 Full-time Player
• 5-6 Guest Players; These will play notable NPC/PCs for dedicated sections or arcs. Arcs will be designed with YOU in mind. We might expand this list depending on how this goes with the first few people, and how many sessions it takes to close out an arc.
• (Maybe) some Alt/Guest DMs; These will voice one or more characters, recurring antagonists, etc.

Are you a dungeon master?
Making campaigns like these is our passion. We love going HIGH production value, HIGH quality. If this is something that you love too and you want to dungeon master in our world, we would LOVE to talk to you. As you can tell from this post, there's not enough dungeon masters out there doing this (clearly way overboard) level of effort.

I am a simply a moderately dysphoric transsexual male who just wants to be a legally biologically and socially addressed as any other regular ass dude would be through this extremely modernized woke elitist society holy goddamn this really fucking pisses me off to the point where my blood starts to boil at scorching heat.
I don't want to associated with trigger happy hyper woke extremist cancel culture PC Twitter or clout chasing TikTok users who thinks all gendered language is discrimination or people who think that calling themselves silly ass things such as emoticongender, firegender, fruitgender, silverfishgender, pixiegender, clovergender, catgender, and doggender is automatically completely the same as or remotely similar to me who is a transsexual male unfortunately lacking the proper genetically developed male sex anatomy after several years of conceived by my own stubborn ignorant mother at birth.
I don't want to associated with anything lgbt related that harshly or passive aggressively demands that the world must permanently abolish or completely eradicate all types of maleness and femaleness just to please a much smaller minority of people AKA hypersensitive crybaby postgenderist gender abolitionists that think anything classified as male or female is automatically by default wrong evil or bad within our lives through our current society that has always established mostly concrete & reasonably distinctive differences men and women through neurology, psychology, and physiology for several decades now.
I hate that having transsexual sex dysphoria has now currently been negatively bastardized and tainted by chronically online radical tumblrinas and pathetic attention seeking clout chasing tiktokers who want to be seen as quirky and unique as possible or to gain extra views plus followers in the lowest way possible without having any type of authentic interesting personality/character traits besides collecting minority based terms to feel different from everyone else in the whole entire world.
This type of shit show nonsense may not be the ONE ONLY contributing factor causing the huge decline of genuine acceptance, respect, humanity, and empathy towards all transsexual men and women but it damn sure doesn't hope things at all when for so many years dysphoria was classified as a neurological chemical imbalance in the brain with some scientific basis sources confirming this but now we have to actually legitimize stupid fucking moronic things like clownself pronouns, rainbowgender, dollgender, bunnygender, skygender, treegender, cloudgender, stargender, and chocogender without getting cancelled by 90% of the human population who has a clear minded brain capable of having coherent common sense or despite the fact that male and female brain chemistry differences are supposed to be at least partially recognized/confirmed with some truthful info in order to show some level of evidence for sex related dysphoria rooted in brain structure presented by somewhat credible clinical reviewed neurologist based studies.
It also causes me to feel nothing but frustration and disappointment due to me looking towards my childhood specifically when I went through unwanted female sex changes within hormonal adolescence that has brought nothing but serious depression, anxiety, and sometimes irritability because of my mother or my entire family collectively in the past not giving a single damn about me feeling upset about not growing functioning testicles balls and a dick along with having to show off my chest when bra shopping or my own oldest cousin who thinks I'm an complete total utter outcast ranked even lower than an effeminate man who was still born a male because of this physical defect stemming from my dysphoria in the goddamn first place.
It does have this negatively toxic effect of making me feel like an defective, awful, damaged, broken young man born into the wrong sexed body that should've genetically been developed into an normal biologically male body without struggling with financially or medically stressful changes, a young man who will unforturnately, never be closely completely & truly loved in his own family as anyone's closest grandson, great nephew, younger son (by his own mother), or a little brothebig brother.
All of this fake progressive wannabe woke neopronoun xenogender bullshit along with other radical total gender abolitionist foolishness is going to absolutely do nothing but make all of us transsexual males and transsexual females who have true physiological/neurological sex rooted dysphoria look like insane assasine lunatics who have no grasp of factual reality which really really grinds my gears to the fiber and core of my already dark clouded emotional state because this shit at this point should have been stopped during 2013-2016 year eras it's really just getting so goddamn old and annoying at this point for fucks sake just go touch grass walk outside for a few minutes to take a goddamn break from constantly wanting shallow forms of attention/unnecessary validation due to wanting to feel so quirky or different like an chronically online unique fragile ego snowflake who clout chases on Tumblr TikTok or Twitter.

So I am undiagnosed (F24) and I am quite certain at this point that I have ADHD (I am typing this at my desk instead of working from home because I got distracted).
I am always late for the most important appointments which causes me huge stress but I can't seem to avoid it without cancelling all other plans for the day and setting about 10 alarms to remind myself to get up and get ready. This can often be because I get stuck in the "scroll-cycle" of social media and my brain can be screaming at me to get up and eat or shower or go to the toilet and I won't be able to. I often have to ask people to repeat themselves because my mind completely blanks, or I wasn't paying attention or I was thinking about 5 different things at once. I find conversations feel a bit like an information dump of often unrelated stories or facts and I struggle to keep my mind from wandering on a daily basis when working or in a meeting.
I hyperfixate on activities, and objects, often buying lots of materials for these and then losing interest shortly after, and I am usually restless or irritable if I have to do anything other than these activities whilst I'm hyperfixating. Tidying is a nightmare for me, I forget what I'm doing and start 5 other tasks which make sense at the time but I will struggle to finish. From childhood I would become obsessed with books, films, music etc. And played them on repeat, seeking out all the information I can about them. I've always been a huge daydreamer, which started as a child and I used to miss important points in school, and I still do in meetings, taking minutes is a massive challenge for me.
I could list more but you get my point, in the last year (admittedly it was tiktok that prompted this) I've been thinking more and more about having ADHD and I've been wanting to get a diagnosis but I'm in the UK so the wait list is long. I plan to save up for a private diagnosis. Friends and family I've spoken to about this have agreed that I could have it but they always ask "but why do you need a diagnosis?" As I'm not planning to go on medication and I'm able to function "normally" for the most part. The answer to this is mostly so I can stop obsessing about it. I think about it at least once a day and I go back and forth convincing myself that I either have ADHD, or I don't and I'm attention seeking, which drives me nuts.
I guess my question is, is this normal? Everyone around me doesn't understand why this is so important to me and I don't really either but I feel like it would give me peace of mind. Any advice would be much appreciated.

For people that don’t know I’m referring to the tik tok woman Ashley https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRoG2KAd/
Also for people who don’t know black women sometimes attach wigs with glue, by sewing or by clipping the hair down with combs which would anchor it into your natural hair. Snatching anyone’s wigs can cause your natural hair to be ripped out and it becomes bleed. (I’ve seen it so trust me it’s not pretty)
Now to destiny’s take. https://youtu.be/7o26tbQJ45o
The way that destiny babies this full grown adult by saying “he just looks drunk and confused” and “there’s no room for error anymore” is just weird to say the least. Theres like stupid drunk behavior and then there’s being unusually violent and cruel unprovoked.
Like this man has enough sense to become a lawyer but not enough to keep his intrusive thoughts to himself? C’mon man.
I think it was also unfair to say “I feel as if every single altercation that a person has now in real life has to be like the most important event that has ever happened to them” and essentially conclude that this was no biggie.
Like imagine this for a second, you’re walking down the road and someone you have never met comes up behind you and rips your hair off of your head, in the middle of a busy intersection, in front of everyone, in fucking NEW YORK out of all places in the world. It looked like she may have been going out so she probably spent time looking nice only to be assaulted and embarrassed. Like Yeah that would be on my top ten “dumbest shit that’s every happened to me”.
I honestly wouldn’t even have the courage to confront the man, I’d probably go home, cry and never wear a wig again.
I don’t think people understand how just being black and having hair invites so much weird invasive interactions our way. I’ve had men and women come up to me and touch or yank at my braids without permission. I got my hair straightened in high school once and a kid pulled at my natural hair and said “is this a weave”.
Like I get what destiny is saying, don’t socially lynch the dude. There should be some room for redemption, but the amount of sympathy he had off the bat for him, versus the person who was victimized by his aggressively stupid behavior was insane to me. Cancel culture is generally a bad thing, but no person should have to burden the thought of YOUR job security, or YOUR personal growth when you are running around assualting them.

so the entire dream was weird as shit but i'll sorta section it out to the msi part of it
basically, i had to move to hawaii and i walked down this really long fucking highway trying to look for my house. various characters from various different medias were also walking down it i guess?? one of them followed me to what i THOUGHT was the place i'd be living for a while, but i open the door, and it's a fucking msi concert. i remember them singing kill you all in a hip hop rage, and then there was another NEW song they sang about like cancel culture and shit (only lyric i can remember is "doing real great on youtube, but not on tiktok" or something to that extent), jimmy kisses me on my forehead, TTHEN IT TURNS INTO THE FUCKING MUSIC VIDEO FOR THIS NONEXISTENT SONG. jimmy was the leader of a bunch of FUCKING GIRL SCOUTS and all the girl scouts were on these little mini smartphones attached to necklaces, the music stops, jimmy holds up his own necklace phone and yells "WHO IS CANCELLING ME ON TWITTER DOT COM," he takes away their necklace phones, and then the dream moves onto non-msi related weirdness

Tldr; so she said she could come and pulled out last minute and I feel shit. What do I do about her like should I talk her again?
Like I’m upset and felt like I needed to get this out because I’ve been very upset. I feel like Reddit is perfect because I’ve seen these stories on tiktok and it seems like a good place for anonymous advice on shit.
So basically she said she was coming but didn’t pay me but I thought she would pay me closer to the time. My mistake for letting her do that and feeling like I was putting pressure on her by asking her to pay too much.
So two days before the gig in the EVENING she messaged me like “btw I’ve told(girls name let’s call her Stacey because I’m not putting her real name on here) that’s she can go instead of me because she loves the arctic monkeys and I feel like she deserved the tickets more so I gave them to her.
I never gave consent to this and didn’t want to go with Stacey because I didn’t know her well. She’s and nice girl but I just didn’t know her and felt blindsided by this because I didn’t want to be mean and say “No I don’t want to go with u” because she’s a nice girl. Like my friend should have checked with me first.
Then I was like erm I’m not going with her why don’t u come I wanted to go with u (short version of a call we did). She then told me she was going to a birthday party and didn’t want cancel on her friend. This was like within the hour she cancelled on me. So she booked herself up for that straight away.
I was like “well u said u were coming to this before” so can’t u just say it was a miscommunication. She then kept me on “unsure” for a day and didn’t message after that. Then the day before at like 3 she told me she couldn’t come and was like “sorry”. This gave me no time to ask anyone else and my other friends wouldn’t want to go on such short notice because the concert was far away. So I texted my friends who lived in the city where the concert was on and one of them had work in London which was hours away so couldn’t come, and the other one was like “I would have LOVED to have came but I have plans with a friend who’s staying over that day” which is what a good friend would do. Like even though she had a good opportunity to see a band she loved she stuck to her original plan with her friend because that’s what loyal friends do.
So my mum was really nice and said she would go with me and we had a great time even though it wasn’t really my mums scene she went and I’m so happy she came.
Like I just wish my friend told me she couldn’t come sooner because then I could have had time to make other plans. But no. She left it until last minute.
I talked to my grandma about this and she was like “I wouldn’t speak to her again”. I don’t know if I should or how to deal with talking to her after this. Do I cut the cord or let her make it up to me? Until this she was a good friend and recently had a fun birthday party and has been great fun but she pulled out of this. Fo I cut her off or give her the benefit of the doubt?

Tldr; so she said she could come and pulled out last minute and I feel shit. What do I do about her like should I talk her again?
Like I’m upset and felt like I needed to get this out because I’ve been very upset. I feel like Reddit is perfect because I’ve seen these stories on tiktok and it seems like a good place for anonymous advice on shit.
So basically she said she was coming but didn’t pay me but I thought she would pay me closer to the time. My mistake for letting her do that and feeling like I was putting pressure on her by asking her to pay too much.
So two days before the gig in the EVENING she messaged me like “btw I’ve told(girls name let’s call her Stacey because I’m not putting her real name on here) that’s she can go instead of me because she loves the arctic monkeys and I feel like she deserved the tickets more so I gave them to her.
I never gave consent to this and didn’t want to go with Stacey because I didn’t know her well. She’s and nice girl but I just didn’t know her and felt blindsided by this because I didn’t want to be mean and say “No I don’t want to go with u” because she’s a nice girl. Like my friend should have checked with me first.
Then I was like erm I’m not going with her why don’t u come I wanted to go with u (short version of a call we did). She then told me she was going to a birthday party and didn’t want cancel on her friend. This was like within the hour she cancelled on me. So she booked herself up for that straight away.
I was like “well u said u were coming to this before” so can’t u just say it was a miscommunication. She then kept me on “unsure” for a day and didn’t message after that. Then the day before at like 3 she told me she couldn’t come and was like “sorry”. This gave me no time to ask anyone else and my other friends wouldn’t want to go on such short notice because the concert was far away. So I texted my friends who lived in the city where the concert was on and one of them had work in London which was hours away so couldn’t come, and the other one was like “I would have LOVED to have came but I have plans with a friend who’s staying over that day” which is what a good friend would do. Like even though she had a good opportunity to see a band she loved she stuck to her original plan with her friend because that’s what loyal friends do.
So my mum was really nice and said she would go with me and we had a great time even though it wasn’t really my mums scene she went and I’m so happy she came.
Like I just wish my friend told me she couldn’t come sooner because then I could have had time to make other plans. But no. She left it until last minute.
I talked to my grandma about this and she was like “I wouldn’t speak to her again”. I don’t know if I should or how to deal with talking to her after this. Do I cut the cord or let her make it up to me? Until this she was a good friend and recently had a fun birthday party and has been great fun but she pulled out of this. Fo I cut her off or give her the benefit of the doubt?