Today 2023 I am 4 years into my recovery. I spent a lot of time covering and burying these feelings of neglect, hurt, loneliness, and hate for myself. I was addicted to crack/cocaine, I did cocaine before crack and almost hated it, it gave me the worst sinus infection and I eventually switched to meth. I was that kind of addict that could have died from the lifestyle alone. I traded my morals, self respect and care for anything I ever loved for one more hit. I failed rehab 3 times and did a little time in county. I was the only girl in county jail with the charge "prostitution." I look back now and I realize that the rehab time and all that bull shit was not for me to get better, if we are being honest if I recall one of the only reasons I went was to get out of the cold or because I had nowhere else to go. I wanted to get better but I knew deep down that I wasn't done with drugs, I admit everytime I walked into those doors of treatment my heart was not 100% on stopping drugs. I did try a few times to figure out why I turned to drugs and what was my deep core issue that I was covering up. This story explains finally why I am the way I am. Why I slept with over 20 guys by the time I was 15, including a married man. Now you can say what you want about me but I believe I was looking for love and affection. My innocence was taken from me at a very very young age and the influence I grew up around was not ideal for a kid. My mom and dad were young when they had me and now I know they got married because mom got pregnant, I think she was 19. My dad drank ALOT and he could get mentally, emotionally and physically abusive, if he got enough in him or drank whiskey. Dad has a big heart and I'm his only daughter, he is kind, generous, and a good dad.
I took a lot of time in rehab to try to uncover my issues and try to heal but I got scared and ran every time. This time was different. In 2019 I was left by a guy I depended on, we were both homeless and my stuff was in his truck. One night he decided he wasn't gonna pick me up after work and it left me no choice but to do whatever I could to survive these streets. I needed to put my ducks in a row. By the time I realized he wasn't coming it was 10pm, I needed to find a bed, food, shower maybe, and more drugs to barter with. I ran the streets for almost 2 weeks alone with no help or someone to lean on. When I met Mel, I was looking rough, I had bruises all up and down my arms and legs, I was 90lbs, I haven't eaten in a day or two, and the best part I had the clothes on my back and maybe one more outfit in my bag. I had no underwear, one bra, like no socks, it was truly ridiculous. I lost everything I ever loved and owned 2ce over. I was Finally tired, finally just done.
I met Mel in April of 2019, he was appalled when he realized how much I had lost and I still don't know what his true intentions were, maybe it was to help me or maybe it was to get in my pants, whatever it was I'm glad it happened. I got clean with Mels love and support, no rehab, no NA or AA, I was done and I knew I had to stop or I was gonna die.
These past 4 years I left state with Mel, we traveled for a bit and in this time I got to really think about what happened to me and why. It took some time for me to trust Mel and not think he was gonna leave in another state or somewhere stranded, he never did. I had nightmares, flashbacks, and bursts of anger for the first year. I really had to push through but I decided to write this story to maybe help someone that went through something similar.
I was in a relationship with a 31 yr old when I was 12-13 years old.
A little back story: When I was growing up my dad was a carefree kind and just a free spirit. He was a functional alcoholic, he would get off work and drink anywhere from a half gallon to a whole gallon of vodka a night and get up at 6am and go to work. My mom and dad got divorced when I was young so I was passed back and forth but my dads was my favorite. I was allowed to do whatever I wanted and as a teenager I took advantage of that. Dad had a lot of friends and they drank too. Dad was close to his brother and he had a few real close friends who were around everyday of my childhood for as long as I can remember. The one in particular I will never forget. I was young, I mean like maybe 7-8 when (let's call him Jim) I met Jim. He was young, good looking and had been friends with dad from work. Jim and another one of dads friends lived together so they all started hanging out at my house. I had a friend over and she was a little older that day when Jim first came to my house. She was curious about him and I don't remember much about that day but I do recall Jim laying his head on her lap while she played with his hair. She gave him those flirty eyes and they sat there and talked. Remind you even though Jim was in his late 20s and my friend was maybe 12-13 at the time. Not long after I met Jim he got into some trouble and was sent to prison for a few years.
Fast Forward>>>>>
I was 11 when I found a letter from Jim to my dad. I wasn't sure if I was even allowed to read it but I opened it up and read it anyway. I will never forget the letters that formed the word "tell wild child I said hi." I don't know why I got curious, I actually don't even know what I was thinking. I spent days thinking of the letter, I guess I was lonely, I had to have felt some type of emptiness to write him back. I was 11 writing a grown ass man in prison for pulling out a gun on some guys who robbed him. Me and Jim talked about everything, he became my best friend really quick. I don't know why but I felt comfortable talking to him and telling him things that were happening with me, my friends, my boyfriend, and my family. He talked about his wife and 2 boys, he gave advice and was just very sweet, acted like he understood me and was very genuine. I now see as an adult he was manipulating me as a child but that little girl was craving for attention. We got to know each other, we talked all the way up to the day me and my dad and my friend were with us pulled up to the house after school and there Jim was sitting on our porch, just chilling. Thats when things got confusing and fucked up. I hate telling this story. It is so hard for me to realize what he was doing to me the whole time..
I don't really wanna get into the specifics. Um.. we Got close when he got out, He touched me multiple times, and also touched my friends. He gave me a ring at one point, Jim was 31 years old and I was 13 years old. It wasn't right and I hate that it went on as long as it did. He would kiss me when my dad wasn't around and tell me he loved me. Until the night it all ended. My friend came over while Jim was there I had a boyfriend over and supposedly Jim raped her when I wasnt in the room. There were hickeys on her neck and she was partying and drinking like a rockstar when I left her. I still have no idea what happened that night we even remained friends for a long time after and she never talked about it. I confessed to her that he was doing the same shit to me as he had been touching me for almost a year. She eventually did go to the police that night and she told them about me and everything that was happening. The police charged Jim with 2 counts of sexual imposition with a minor and 1 count rape he got 6 years. I always felt so guilty for sending him to prison, I hated that I had to tell I was ashamed of what he did to me but I was a child. When Jim had 6 months left in his sentence he killed himself in prison. I still don't know if that is true, how he died but I have had to go through years of trying to accept this in my past and live life to the fullest everyday without the reminder of what Jim did to me. I still can't tell you how it affected me, I guess it did in all kinds of ways and me wanting the attention in the first place makes me wonder. Growing up with my father letting me do whatever I wanted mainly because he only had my part time and I didnt think he ever wanted to be "the bad guy". He was more of a friend to me and when he drank too much it could turn bad quick. All of it is in the past and I have tried my whole life to forgive myself for my part in his death. I wanted to tell some of my story. it goes farther than this but i needed to get it out into the world.
I want to make this clear, my dad was an addict/alcoholic. He did the best he could with what he was given, even though he was asleep during this event and many others, he was clueless but now looking back as a recovering addict that it wasn't my dads fault. We trusted this man, he was a close family friend for many many years. We never thought that he would target 3 teenage girls. I thought the man really cared about me and I believed what he told me.
Years later I changed schools my sophomore year and was in a small class with 2 girls and this geeky guy. (This was the year I found out Jim died) One of the girls, lets call her Ashley was telling our science teacher how her nephews dad was in prison and had just died, he was in the for 6 years for rape. She said that the girl lied and it was sad that her nephew had to lose his dad, she said that her Aunt Jims kids mom was distraught and in shock he could ever do the things he was accused of. I knew she was talking about me, I kept it to myself. What happened happened, I can't change a thing.
This is me moving on and not being afraid to face any fear because I faced my biggest one. I will never stop healing but I can finally move on and let go. So Goodbye Jim.

TLDR: father cheated on mother for a certain period of time which caused a lot of grief for the family. Although he’s tried to reach out consistently for the 6 years over call/text; I’ve cut him out… he has now moved back into my neighbourhood from overseas and is sick - unsure if I should hear him out for my own sake?
Backstory; I was very close with my father. Essentially my best friend and I always made more effort than anyone in my family during these years when I was last speaking to him as mother and sister grew more distant with him (from my perspective). From my view, mum and dad didn’t hate each other or fight and everything was fine based upon a mutual respect for each other, but when you live apart for 20+ years you surely just stop caring as much what the other person is doing. Father also has been sick with cancer at this point but not terminal, but it’s one thing after another and never seems to get better.
Anyways in 2017, Father was caught texting female co worker inappropriate things whilst he was visiting our family, as he works overseas. I was unaware of this and my sister found out. She then told mum who confronted him and he claimed he was unhappy for years and was finally happy with this girl and he wants a divorce. Absolutely blindsiding mum. This happened on the Friday night. On the Saturday morning I got whiff something of this nature was going on between them and I confronted him, of which he denied that anyone was up there and everything was fine with mum. It wasn’t until Monday morning when he was on a flight back overseas that he calls me to say “look your mum and I are getting a divorce and this new girl makes me happy and I can’t wait for you to come up here and meet her!” (Pretty lousy way to find out your parents are breaking up).
I was furious and cut him off completely in respect for mum who never put a foot wrong in the marriage and always did the right thing by him.
There are many more elements to this story I could go into after this happened that just contribute to the fact that he is a notorious liar and still is.
Yearly, he will message me for my birthday/randomly wanting to start fresh or to talk but whenever he does it always brings up emotional things for me from that weekend and the hurt he caused me in letting me down. He will always say something along the lines of “you’ll always be my son and I’ll always love you”. But whenever I had tried to talk to him and to get him to apologise for what he did, he seems completely unaware he’s ever done anything wrong. Like “sorry if you feel this way about what I did” rather than “I’m sorry for what I did and the pain it caused”.
now he’s messaged me again out of the blue saying he’s moved back to the neighbourhood and would like to clear up everything once and for all. I still speak to certain members of the family and know his health is getting worse and unsure how long he has left.
I live a good life without him and have become successful in life not needing anything from him and I’m fine 98% of the time but there a moments where it still gets to me and I still hurt bad over what happened.
I just don’t know if ignoring him this time is the right thing. I don’t want to play ‘what if’ with myself in 20 years time that I should have taken this opportunity to clear my head… but on the other hand, he’s essentially dead to me and I feel nothing for him + there is nothing that would make me change my mind to have any room for him in my life… so what’s the point in going to see him?
Any advice will be appreciated Thanks

Today 2023 I am 4 years into my recovery. I spent a lot of time covering and burying these feelings of neglect, hurt, loneliness, and hate for myself. I was addicted to crack/cocaine, I did cocaine before crack and almost hated it, it gave me the worst sinus infection and I eventually switched to meth. I was that kind of addict that could have died from the lifestyle alone. I traded my morals, self respect and care for anything I ever loved for one more hit. I failed rehab 3 times and did a little time in county. I was the only girl in county jail with the charge "prostitution." I look back now and I realize that the rehab time and all that bull shit was not for me to get better, if we are being honest if I recall one of the only reasons I went was to get out of the cold or because I had nowhere else to go. I wanted to get better but I knew deep down that I wasn't done with drugs, I admit everytime I walked into those doors of treatment my heart was not 100% on stopping drugs. I did try a few times to figure out why I turned to drugs and what was my deep core issue that I was covering up. This story explains finally why I am the way I am. Why I slept with over 20 guys by the time I was 15, including a married man. Now you can say what you want about me but I believe I was looking for love and affection. My innocence was taken from me at a very very young age and the influence I grew up around was not ideal for a kid. My mom and dad were young when they had me and now I know they got married because mom got pregnant, I think she was 19. My dad drank ALOT and he could get mentally, emotionally and physically abusive, if he got enough in him or drank whiskey. Dad has a big heart and I'm his only daughter, he is kind, generous, and a good dad.
I took a lot of time in rehab to try to uncover my issues and try to heal but I got scared and ran every time. This time was different. In 2019 I was left by a guy I depended on, we were both homeless and my stuff was in his truck. One night he decided he wasn't gonna pick me up after work and it left me no choice but to do whatever I could to survive these streets. I needed to put my ducks in a row. By the time I realized he wasn't coming it was 10pm, I needed to find a bed, food, shower maybe, and more drugs to barter with. I ran the streets for almost 2 weeks alone with no help or someone to lean on. When I met Mel, I was looking rough, I had bruises all up and down my arms and legs, I was 90lbs, I haven't eaten in a day or two, and the best part I had the clothes on my back and maybe one more outfit in my bag. I had no underwear, one bra, like no socks, it was truly ridiculous. I lost everything I ever loved and owned 2ce over. I was Finally tired, finally just done.
I met Mel in April of 2019, he was appalled when he realized how much I had lost and I still don't know what his true intentions were, maybe it was to help me or maybe it was to get in my pants, whatever it was I'm glad it happened. I got clean with Mels love and support, no rehab, no NA or AA, I was done and I knew I had to stop or I was gonna die.
These past 4 years I left state with Mel, we traveled for a bit and in this time I got to really think about what happened to me and why. It took some time for me to trust Mel and not think he was gonna leave in another state or somewhere stranded, he never did. I had nightmares, flashbacks, and bursts of anger for the first year. I really had to push through but I decided to write this story to maybe help someone that went through something similar.
I was in a relationship with a 31 yr old when I was 12-13 years old.
A little back story: When I was growing up my dad was a carefree kind and just a free spirit. He was a functional alcoholic, he would get off work and drink anywhere from a half gallon to a whole gallon of vodka a night and get up at 6am and go to work. My mom and dad got divorced when I was young so I was passed back and forth but my dads was my favorite. I was allowed to do whatever I wanted and as a teenager I took advantage of that. Dad had a lot of friends and they drank too. Dad was close to his brother and he had a few real close friends who were around everyday of my childhood for as long as I can remember. The one in particular I will never forget. I was young, I mean like maybe 7-8 when (let's call him Jim) I met Jim. He was young, good looking and had been friends with dad from work. Jim and another one of dads friends lived together so they all started hanging out at my house. I had a friend over and she was a little older that day when Jim first came to my house. She was curious about him and I don't remember much about that day but I do recall Jim laying his head on her lap while she played with his hair. She gave him those flirty eyes and they sat there and talked. Remind you even though Jim was in his late 20s and my friend was maybe 12-13 at the time. Not long after I met Jim he got into some trouble and was sent to prison for a few years.
Fast Forward>>>>>
I was 11 when I found a letter from Jim to my dad. I wasn't sure if I was even allowed to read it but I opened it up and read it anyway. I will never forget the letters that formed the word "tell wild child I said hi." I don't know why I got curious, I actually don't even know what I was thinking. I spent days thinking of the letter, I guess I was lonely, I had to have felt some type of emptiness to write him back. I was 11 writing a grown ass man in prison for pulling out a gun on some guys who robbed him. Me and Jim talked about everything, he became my best friend really quick. I don't know why but I felt comfortable talking to him and telling him things that were happening with me, my friends, my boyfriend, and my family. He talked about his wife and 2 boys, he gave advice and was just very sweet, acted like he understood me and was very genuine. I now see as an adult he was manipulating me as a child but that little girl was craving for attention. We got to know each other, we talked all the way up to the day me and my dad and my friend were with us pulled up to the house after school and there Jim was sitting on our porch, just chilling. Thats when things got confusing and fucked up. I hate telling this story. It is so hard for me to realize what he was doing to me the whole time..
I don't really wanna get into the specifics. Um.. we Got close when he got out, He touched me multiple times, and also touched my friends. He gave me a ring at one point, Jim was 31 years old and I was 13 years old. It wasn't right and I hate that it went on as long as it did. He would kiss me when my dad wasn't around and tell me he loved me. Until the night it all ended. My friend came over while Jim was there I had a boyfriend over and supposedly Jim raped her when I wasnt in the room. There were hickeys on her neck and she was partying and drinking like a rockstar when I left her. I still have no idea what happened that night we even remained friends for a long time after and she never talked about it. I confessed to her that he was doing the same shit to me as he had been touching me for almost a year. She eventually did go to the police that night and she told them about me and everything that was happening. The police charged Jim with 2 counts of sexual imposition with a minor and 1 count rape he got 6 years. I always felt so guilty for sending him to prison, I hated that I had to tell I was ashamed of what he did to me but I was a child. When Jim had 6 months left in his sentence he killed himself in prison. I still don't know if that is true, how he died but I have had to go through years of trying to accept this in my past and live life to the fullest everyday without the reminder of what Jim did to me. I still can't tell you how it affected me, I guess it did in all kinds of ways and me wanting the attention in the first place makes me wonder. Growing up with my father letting me do whatever I wanted mainly because he only had my part time and I didnt think he ever wanted to be "the bad guy". He was more of a friend to me and when he drank too much it could turn bad quick. All of it is in the past and I have tried my whole life to forgive myself for my part in his death. I wanted to tell some of my story. it goes farther than this but i needed to get it out into the world.
I want to make this clear, my dad was an addict/alcoholic. He did the best he could with what he was given, even though he was asleep during this event and many others, he was clueless but now looking back as a recovering addict that it wasn't my dads fault. We trusted this man, he was a close family friend for many many years. We never thought that he would target 3 teenage girls. I thought the man really cared about me and I believed what he told me.
Years later I changed schools my sophomore year and was in a small class with 2 girls and this geeky guy. (This was the year I found out Jim died) One of the girls, lets call her Ashley was telling our science teacher how her nephews dad was in prison and had just died, he was in the for 6 years for rape. She said that the girl lied and it was sad that her nephew had to lose his dad, she said that her Aunt Jims kids mom was distraught and in shock he could ever do the things he was accused of. I knew she was talking about me, I kept it to myself. What happened happened, I can't change a thing.
This is me moving on and not being afraid to face any fear because I faced my biggest one. I will never stop healing but I can finally move on and let go. So Goodbye Jim.

TLDR: father cheated on mother for a certain period of time which caused a lot of grief for the family. Although he’s tried to reach out consistently for the 6 years over call/text; I’ve cut him out… he has now moved back into my neighbourhood from overseas and is sick - unsure if I should hear him out for my own sake?
Backstory; I was very close with my father. Essentially my best friend and I always made more effort than anyone in my family during these years when I was last speaking to him as mother and sister grew more distant with him (from my perspective). From my view, mum and dad didn’t hate each other or fight and everything was fine based upon a mutual respect for each other, but when you live apart for 20+ years you surely just stop caring as much what the other person is doing. Father also has been sick with cancer at this point but not terminal, but it’s one thing after another and never seems to get better.
Anyways in 2017, Father was caught texting female co worker inappropriate things whilst he was visiting our family, as he works overseas. I was unaware of this and my sister found out. She then told mum who confronted him and he claimed he was unhappy for years and was finally happy with this girl and he wants a divorce. Absolutely blindsiding mum. This happened on the Friday night. On the Saturday morning I got whiff something of this nature was going on between them and I confronted him, of which he denied that anyone was up there and everything was fine with mum. It wasn’t until Monday morning when he was on a flight back overseas that he calls me to say “look your mum and I are getting a divorce and this new girl makes me happy and I can’t wait for you to come up here and meet her!” (Pretty lousy way to find out your parents are breaking up).
I was furious and cut him off completely in respect for mum who never put a foot wrong in the marriage and always did the right thing by him.
There are many more elements to this story I could go into after this happened that just contribute to the fact that he is a notorious liar and still is.
Yearly, he will message me for my birthday/randomly wanting to start fresh or to talk but whenever he does it always brings up emotional things for me from that weekend and the hurt he caused me in letting me down. He will always say something along the lines of “you’ll always be my son and I’ll always love you”. But whenever I had tried to talk to him and to get him to apologise for what he did, he seems completely unaware he’s ever done anything wrong. Like “sorry if you feel this way about what I did” rather than “I’m sorry for what I did and the pain it caused”.
now he’s messaged me again out of the blue saying he’s moved back to the neighbourhood and would like to clear up everything once and for all. I still speak to certain members of the family and know his health is getting worse and unsure how long he has left.
I live a good life without him and have become successful in life not needing anything from him and I’m fine 98% of the time but there a moments where it still gets to me and I still hurt bad over what happened.
I just don’t know if ignoring him this time is the right thing. I don’t want to play ‘what if’ with myself in 20 years time that I should have taken this opportunity to clear my head… but on the other hand, he’s essentially dead to me and I feel nothing for him + there is nothing that would make me change my mind to have any room for him in my life… so what’s the point in going to see him?
Any advice will be appreciated Thanks

Today 2023 I am 4 years into my recovery. I spent a lot of time covering and burying these feelings of neglect, hurt, loneliness, and hate for myself. I was addicted to crack/cocaine, I did cocaine before crack and almost hated it, it gave me the worst sinus infection and I eventually switched to meth. I was that kind of addict that could have died from the lifestyle alone. I traded my morals, self respect and care for anything I ever loved for one more hit. I failed rehab 3 times and did a little time in county. I was the only girl in county jail with the charge "prostitution." I look back now and I realize that the rehab time and all that bull shit was not for me to get better, if we are being honest if I recall one of the only reasons I went was to get out of the cold or because I had nowhere else to go. I wanted to get better but I knew deep down that I wasn't done with drugs, I admit everytime I walked into those doors of treatment my heart was not 100% on stopping drugs. I did try a few times to figure out why I turned to drugs and what was my deep core issue that I was covering up. This story explains finally why I am the way I am. Why I slept with over 20 guys by the time I was 15, including a married man. Now you can say what you want about me but I believe I was looking for love and affection. My innocence was taken from me at a very very young age and the influence I grew up around was not ideal for a kid. My mom and dad were young when they had me and now I know they got married because mom got pregnant, I think she was 19. My dad drank ALOT and he could get mentally, emotionally and physically abusive, if he got enough in him or drank whiskey. Dad has a big heart and I'm his only daughter, he is kind, generous, and a good dad.
I took a lot of time in rehab to try to uncover my issues and try to heal but I got scared and ran every time. This time was different. In 2019 I was left by a guy I depended on, we were both homeless and my stuff was in his truck. One night he decided he wasn't gonna pick me up after work and it left me no choice but to do whatever I could to survive these streets. I needed to put my ducks in a row. By the time I realized he wasn't coming it was 10pm, I needed to find a bed, food, shower maybe, and more drugs to barter with. I ran the streets for almost 2 weeks alone with no help or someone to lean on. When I met Mel, I was looking rough, I had bruises all up and down my arms and legs, I was 90lbs, I haven't eaten in a day or two, and the best part I had the clothes on my back and maybe one more outfit in my bag. I had no underwear, one bra, like no socks, it was truly ridiculous. I lost everything I ever loved and owned 2ce over. I was Finally tired, finally just done.
I met Mel in April of 2019, he was appalled when he realized how much I had lost and I still don't know what his true intentions were, maybe it was to help me or maybe it was to get in my pants, whatever it was I'm glad it happened. I got clean with Mels love and support, no rehab, no NA or AA, I was done and I knew I had to stop or I was gonna die.
These past 4 years I left state with Mel, we traveled for a bit and in this time I got to really think about what happened to me and why. It took some time for me to trust Mel and not think he was gonna leave in another state or somewhere stranded, he never did. I had nightmares, flashbacks, and bursts of anger for the first year. I really had to push through but I decided to write this story to maybe help someone that went through something similar.
I was in a relationship with a 31 yr old when I was 12-13 years old.
A little back story: When I was growing up my dad was a carefree kind and just a free spirit. He was a functional alcoholic, he would get off work and drink anywhere from a half gallon to a whole gallon of vodka a night and get up at 6am and go to work. My mom and dad got divorced when I was young so I was passed back and forth but my dads was my favorite. I was allowed to do whatever I wanted and as a teenager I took advantage of that. Dad had a lot of friends and they drank too. Dad was close to his brother and he had a few real close friends who were around everyday of my childhood for as long as I can remember. The one in particular I will never forget. I was young, I mean like maybe 7-8 when (let's call him Jim) I met Jim. He was young, good looking and had been friends with dad from work. Jim and another one of dads friends lived together so they all started hanging out at my house. I had a friend over and she was a little older that day when Jim first came to my house. She was curious about him and I don't remember much about that day but I do recall Jim laying his head on her lap while she played with his hair. She gave him those flirty eyes and they sat there and talked. Remind you even though Jim was in his late 20s and my friend was maybe 12-13 at the time. Not long after I met Jim he got into some trouble and was sent to prison for a few years.
Fast Forward>>>>>
I was 11 when I found a letter from Jim to my dad. I wasn't sure if I was even allowed to read it but I opened it up and read it anyway. I will never forget the letters that formed the word "tell wild child I said hi." I don't know why I got curious, I actually don't even know what I was thinking. I spent days thinking of the letter, I guess I was lonely, I had to have felt some type of emptiness to write him back. I was 11 writing a grown ass man in prison for pulling out a gun on some guys who robbed him. Me and Jim talked about everything, he became my best friend really quick. I don't know why but I felt comfortable talking to him and telling him things that were happening with me, my friends, my boyfriend, and my family. He talked about his wife and 2 boys, he gave advice and was just very sweet, acted like he understood me and was very genuine. I now see as an adult he was manipulating me as a child but that little girl was craving for attention. We got to know each other, we talked all the way up to the day me and my dad and my friend were with us pulled up to the house after school and there Jim was sitting on our porch, just chilling. Thats when things got confusing and fucked up. I hate telling this story. It is so hard for me to realize what he was doing to me the whole time..
I don't really wanna get into the specifics. Um.. we Got close when he got out, He touched me multiple times, and also touched my friends. He gave me a ring at one point, Jim was 31 years old and I was 13 years old. It wasn't right and I hate that it went on as long as it did. He would kiss me when my dad wasn't around and tell me he loved me. Until the night it all ended. My friend came over while Jim was there I had a boyfriend over and supposedly Jim raped her when I wasnt in the room. There were hickeys on her neck and she was partying and drinking like a rockstar when I left her. I still have no idea what happened that night we even remained friends for a long time after and she never talked about it. I confessed to her that he was doing the same shit to me as he had been touching me for almost a year. She eventually did go to the police that night and she told them about me and everything that was happening. The police charged Jim with 2 counts of sexual imposition with a minor and 1 count rape he got 6 years. I always felt so guilty for sending him to prison, I hated that I had to tell I was ashamed of what he did to me but I was a child. When Jim had 6 months left in his sentence he killed himself in prison. I still don't know if that is true, how he died but I have had to go through years of trying to accept this in my past and live life to the fullest everyday without the reminder of what Jim did to me. I still can't tell you how it affected me, I guess it did in all kinds of ways and me wanting the attention in the first place makes me wonder. Growing up with my father letting me do whatever I wanted mainly because he only had my part time and I didnt think he ever wanted to be "the bad guy". He was more of a friend to me and when he drank too much it could turn bad quick. All of it is in the past and I have tried my whole life to forgive myself for my part in his death. I wanted to tell some of my story. it goes farther than this but i needed to get it out into the world.
I want to make this clear, my dad was an addict/alcoholic. He did the best he could with what he was given, even though he was asleep during this event and many others, he was clueless but now looking back as a recovering addict that it wasn't my dads fault. We trusted this man, he was a close family friend for many many years. We never thought that he would target 3 teenage girls. I thought the man really cared about me and I believed what he told me.
Years later I changed schools my sophomore year and was in a small class with 2 girls and this geeky guy. (This was the year I found out Jim died) One of the girls, lets call her Ashley was telling our science teacher how her nephews dad was in prison and had just died, he was in the for 6 years for rape. She said that the girl lied and it was sad that her nephew had to lose his dad, she said that her Aunt Jims kids mom was distraught and in shock he could ever do the things he was accused of. I knew she was talking about me, I kept it to myself. What happened happened, I can't change a thing.
This is me moving on and not being afraid to face any fear because I faced my biggest one. I will never stop healing but I can finally move on and let go. So Goodbye Jim.

(UK, England) So, in mid-February, I purchased a MacBook Pro 2023 from Amazon. I am not a frequent Amazon customer, but it was somewhat cheaper on their site at the time than elsewhere, so I decided to buy from them. Sold and dispatched by Amazon. The order came to about £3800, and there were significant delays in shipping for the item to arrive but it was eventually delivered. I ordered this via an Amazon pick up location and picked it up on the day it arrived. As I come back to my car and open the Amazon package, I discover what looks to be sofa covers, a leather cleaning kit, and some whitening product. At first, I was perplexed, believing that I had picked up the wrong shipment from the pick-up hub, but after reviewing everything from my labels to Amazon's pick-up confirmation, it was confirmed that I had picked the right package and that Amazon had sent me the incorrect items. I'm stunned at this point, and I immediately call Amazon. They ask that I provide them photographs of the incorrect products, as well as my name and date, which I do. Amazon only offered the choice of refunding the purchase rather than sending out the correct item, so after I receive my money back, I'll have to place another order. They then send me a return label and inform me that once the things are returned, they will issue a refund, so I quickly repackage the item and return it the same day.
Whilst I am annoyed, I tell myself that I just need to be patient for a few days and everything will be OK.
I was sorely mistaken.
What follows is honestly one of the worst services I have ever had, and this from a company that claims to be the most customer-centric on the planet.
I contacted Amazon a few days later to see if my package had been received because the Amazon app had not even registered that I had dispatched the returned package, and it turns out that it had been received by Amazon and they are just processing things on their end, and they told me to contact them again in 5 days. After waiting 5 days, I contact them again, and they tell me to fill out an incident report, and my refund would be handled within 48 hours. After 48 hours, nothing has happened, so I call them again, and they want me to fill out another incident report because the prior one did not go through. So I do so, and this time I'll have to wait 72 hours. Nothing has changed. This time, I am connected to a specialist, and I complete the incident report with him on the line. He informs me that my refund has been approved, but he does not have the ability to release the funds himself due to the high value of the item, and that a ticket has been created with the request that the am amount for the MacBook be refunded to me. The email indicated that the refund will be processed and sorted within 5-7 business days.
Again, nothing happens as this time passes. After three incident reports, Amazon has yet to respond.
So, I follow up again. When I call, I am told the same thing I was told a week earlier, and I am not satisfied with this response, so I ask to talk with someone higher up. I'm put on the phone with an Amazon specialist. This was arguably the rudest interaction I've experienced with an Amazon employee. I explain to him that I've been constantly advised to do the same things and wait the time they've given me, but nothing has changed. His tone was already unpleasant to begin with, but he then responds, "Can you just stop phoning us? There is a ticket already up, and it is annoying that you keep calling us." I was shocked. My problem is that Amazon tells me I have to wait x number of hours for something to happen, but nothing occurs, not even a response. so I tell him, when I follow up, I am just advised to do the same thing again and over. As a result, I have to call them several times since they give me time frames to wait and nothing happens within that period. I tell him how frustrating this situation is and how I am always being led around in circles, which has become a running theme at this point. I told him I didn't like his rude tone, only for him to respond and tell me that my claim is ridiculous and that I'm simply trying to obtain a free MacBook. He says, he bets he can contact Apple, check the device, and see that I am now using the MacBook at home. This comment infuriated me with what he was suggesting, and I no longer wanted to speak with this agent. I requested to speak to a manager, and he simply hangs up on me. I quickly phoned back and reported the conversation to a manager, who indicated they would investigate it. In this exchange with the manager, I also learned that high-value items take 30 days from the date of return to be resolved.
I wait for the 30-day mark. Nothing. I contact again. They create a ticket to escalate it to their back office and asked that I fill out an incident report again. I informed them this is the last time I'd fill one of these since I feel like nothing gets done when I fill them out. I was instructed in the email to wait 72 hours before contacting them again. Again, nothing. I contact again and the agent said she is creating another ticket created and I inform them a ticket was made a few days ago. I am transferred to another specialist who is more helpful. He stated that my refund and everything else had been authorised and that it was up to the back office to release the funds and for me to contact again in 72 hours. 2 days later, my account has been closed as I have been requesting for my refund too many times according to amazon.
I am absolutely sickened by this. I'm out approximately £3800 and have wasted a month of Amazon stalling with bogus time dates for getting this issue handled. At this point, I'm at a loss for words and feel as if I've been robbed in broad daylight by one of the world's largest companies. I have no method of reaching them because they do not have a phone number and the chat facilities are blocked due to the closure of my account. I truly want this money back as quickly as possible, and I need advice on what legal steps I should follow after this whole situation. would appreciate any help. Thank you.

Today 2023 I am 4 years into my recovery. I spent a lot of time covering and burying these feelings of neglect, hurt, loneliness, and hate for myself. I was addicted to crack/cocaine, I did cocaine before crack and almost hated it, it gave me the worst sinus infection and I eventually switched to meth. I was that kind of addict that could have died from the lifestyle alone. I traded my morals, self respect and care for anything I ever loved for one more hit. I failed rehab 3 times and did a little time in county. I was the only girl in county jail with the charge "prostitution." I look back now and I realize that the rehab time and all that bull shit was not for me to get better, if we are being honest if I recall one of the only reasons I went was to get out of the cold or because I had nowhere else to go. I wanted to get better but I knew deep down that I wasn't done with drugs, I admit everytime I walked into those doors of treatment my heart was not 100% on stopping drugs. I did try a few times to figure out why I turned to drugs and what was my deep core issue that I was covering up. This story explains finally why I am the way I am. Why I slept with over 20 guys by the time I was 15, including a married man. Now you can say what you want about me but I believe I was looking for love and affection. My innocence was taken from me at a very very young age and the influence I grew up around was not ideal for a kid. My mom and dad were young when they had me and now I know they got married because mom got pregnant, I think she was 19. My dad drank ALOT and he could get mentally, emotionally and physically abusive, if he got enough in him or drank whiskey. Dad has a big heart and I'm his only daughter, he is kind, generous, and a good dad.
I took a lot of time in rehab to try to uncover my issues and try to heal but I got scared and ran every time. This time was different. In 2019 I was left by a guy I depended on, we were both homeless and my stuff was in his truck. One night he decided he wasn't gonna pick me up after work and it left me no choice but to do whatever I could to survive these streets. I needed to put my ducks in a row. By the time I realized he wasn't coming it was 10pm, I needed to find a bed, food, shower maybe, and more drugs to barter with. I ran the streets for almost 2 weeks alone with no help or someone to lean on. When I met Mel, I was looking rough, I had bruises all up and down my arms and legs, I was 90lbs, I haven't eaten in a day or two, and the best part I had the clothes on my back and maybe one more outfit in my bag. I had no underwear, one bra, like no socks, it was truly ridiculous. I lost everything I ever loved and owned 2ce over. I was Finally tired, finally just done.
I met Mel in April of 2019, he was appalled when he realized how much I had lost and I still don't know what his true intentions were, maybe it was to help me or maybe it was to get in my pants, whatever it was I'm glad it happened. I got clean with Mels love and support, no rehab, no NA or AA, I was done and I knew I had to stop or I was gonna die.
These past 4 years I left state with Mel, we traveled for a bit and in this time I got to really think about what happened to me and why. It took some time for me to trust Mel and not think he was gonna leave in another state or somewhere stranded, he never did. I had nightmares, flashbacks, and bursts of anger for the first year. I really had to push through but I decided to write this story to maybe help someone that went through something similar.
I was in a relationship with a 31 yr old when I was 12-13 years old.
A little back story: When I was growing up my dad was a carefree kind and just a free spirit. He was a functional alcoholic, he would get off work and drink anywhere from a half gallon to a whole gallon of vodka a night and get up at 6am and go to work. My mom and dad got divorced when I was young so I was passed back and forth but my dads was my favorite. I was allowed to do whatever I wanted and as a teenager I took advantage of that. Dad had a lot of friends and they drank too. Dad was close to his brother and he had a few real close friends who were around everyday of my childhood for as long as I can remember. The one in particular I will never forget. I was young, I mean like maybe 7-8 when (let's call him Jim) I met Jim. He was young, good looking and had been friends with dad from work. Jim and another one of dads friends lived together so they all started hanging out at my house. I had a friend over and she was a little older that day when Jim first came to my house. She was curious about him and I don't remember much about that day but I do recall Jim laying his head on her lap while she played with his hair. She gave him those flirty eyes and they sat there and talked. Remind you even though Jim was in his late 20s and my friend was maybe 12-13 at the time. Not long after I met Jim he got into some trouble and was sent to prison for a few years.
Fast Forward>>>>>
I was 11 when I found a letter from Jim to my dad. I wasn't sure if I was even allowed to read it but I opened it up and read it anyway. I will never forget the letters that formed the word "tell wild child I said hi." I don't know why I got curious, I actually don't even know what I was thinking. I spent days thinking of the letter, I guess I was lonely, I had to have felt some type of emptiness to write him back. I was 11 writing a grown ass man in prison for pulling out a gun on some guys who robbed him. Me and Jim talked about everything, he became my best friend really quick. I don't know why but I felt comfortable talking to him and telling him things that were happening with me, my friends, my boyfriend, and my family. He talked about his wife and 2 boys, he gave advice and was just very sweet, acted like he understood me and was very genuine. I now see as an adult he was manipulating me as a child but that little girl was craving for attention. We got to know each other, we talked all the way up to the day me and my dad and my friend were with us pulled up to the house after school and there Jim was sitting on our porch, just chilling. Thats when things got confusing and fucked up. I hate telling this story. It is so hard for me to realize what he was doing to me the whole time..
I don't really wanna get into the specifics. Um.. we Got close when he got out, He touched me multiple times, and also touched my friends. He gave me a ring at one point, Jim was 31 years old and I was 13 years old. It wasn't right and I hate that it went on as long as it did. He would kiss me when my dad wasn't around and tell me he loved me. Until the night it all ended. My friend came over while Jim was there I had a boyfriend over and supposedly Jim raped her when I wasnt in the room. There were hickeys on her neck and she was partying and drinking like a rockstar when I left her. I still have no idea what happened that night we even remained friends for a long time after and she never talked about it. I confessed to her that he was doing the same shit to me as he had been touching me for almost a year. She eventually did go to the police that night and she told them about me and everything that was happening. The police charged Jim with 2 counts of sexual imposition with a minor and 1 count rape he got 6 years. I always felt so guilty for sending him to prison, I hated that I had to tell I was ashamed of what he did to me but I was a child. When Jim had 6 months left in his sentence he killed himself in prison. I still don't know if that is true, how he died but I have had to go through years of trying to accept this in my past and live life to the fullest everyday without the reminder of what Jim did to me. I still can't tell you how it affected me, I guess it did in all kinds of ways and me wanting the attention in the first place makes me wonder. Growing up with my father letting me do whatever I wanted mainly because he only had my part time and I didnt think he ever wanted to be "the bad guy". He was more of a friend to me and when he drank too much it could turn bad quick. All of it is in the past and I have tried my whole life to forgive myself for my part in his death. I wanted to tell some of my story. it goes farther than this but i needed to get it out into the world.
I want to make this clear, my dad was an addict/alcoholic. He did the best he could with what he was given, even though he was asleep during this event and many others, he was clueless but now looking back as a recovering addict that it wasn't my dads fault. We trusted this man, he was a close family friend for many many years. We never thought that he would target 3 teenage girls. I thought the man really cared about me and I believed what he told me.
Years later I changed schools my sophomore year and was in a small class with 2 girls and this geeky guy. (This was the year I found out Jim died) One of the girls, lets call her Ashley was telling our science teacher how her nephews dad was in prison and had just died, he was in the for 6 years for rape. She said that the girl lied and it was sad that her nephew had to lose his dad, she said that her Aunt Jims kids mom was distraught and in shock he could ever do the things he was accused of. I knew she was talking about me, I kept it to myself. What happened happened, I can't change a thing.
This is me moving on and not being afraid to face any fear because I faced my biggest one. I will never stop healing but I can finally move on and let go. So Goodbye Jim.

I've been progressively cutting my hair shorter and shorter into the baby-butch undercut of my dreams, and I've noticed that every time, the reaction from my straight friends and coworkers has been colder and colder. Most of them have stopped commenting altogether, while my roommates just say, "Oh, you got your hair cut again." I'm not looking for compliments or validation, but it is a slightly bitter reminder that what I consider beautiful is seen as ugly by wider society. I usually enjoy being gnc and "doing womanhood wrong", but I just didn't expect the silent treatment from people I consider close friends.

Hello dear Aquarians! I'm seeking advice on how to form a deeper bond/safer space with my Aquarius nephew, who is technically an extended family member. We have already formed a close relationship through playing games and spending time together last year, we actually never really interacted prior despite knowing each other for years. However, he is quite reserved and does not communicate his thoughts and feelings openly. This can make it difficult to understand his perspective and build a stronger connection. I came to understand that his love language is mostly physical and shown through actions, the problem is we don't have ways to hang out very often due to distance so texting has become our main line as he doesn't like phone conversations.
One suggestion I had was to create a safe and comfortable space for him to open up. I've offered active listening without judgment and showing empathy towards his situation but he just avoids talking about anything that bothers him. I do understand that everyone has their own pace of opening up and it may take time to fully trust me. I've shown interest in his hobbies on multiple occasions but it often feels like a one-sided conversation.
I've also reassured him that he should tell me his boundaries or communicate any conflict or issues he may have with me. He never does, oftentimes I'm stuck guessing or reading between the lines which can be exhausting but I am patient.
On one occasion, I expressed to him that I am a straightforward person and would treat him like a good friend, not just because we're family. However, I made it clear that I have boundaries and limits as a person - there are things I can tolerate, and other things that I cannot. Unfortunately, he took this as a rejection and became defensive, claiming that he was hurt and that I was implying that he didn't want this friendship. I did not intend to convey any negativity or rejection in my words, and even had my friends review my texts to confirm that they were well-articulated and simply described who I am as a person.
I have previously communicated to him that I prefer conversations that have some depth and mutual interest. However, he responded by stating that he has little personality and is not good at making conversation, and only answers people's questions. When I inquired whether he had any fears of rejection or trust issues, he mentioned that he is hesitant to say anything that might upset me, which still seems like a fear of rejection to me. I did not press the issue further and am now focusing on making him feel more secure. As we are family and come from a cultural background where queer individuals are taboo, and have restrictive parents, it is important that he knows he has someone in his corner. I should also mention that I am bisexual as well, and chose to separate from my family early on due to their toxic and close-minded beliefs. I've also reassured him that he does not need to text me everyday and that I'm not going to think less of him or worry about it (he texts me once almost every day, I don't mind it but I think it's a contributing factor as on to why our conversations are so shallow).
To be honest, I can accept the current situation and take it one day at a time, but I also believe that there's nothing wrong with striving for improvement. Again this could just be a difference in experience and personality. To give him fair credits though, when I expressed that I hate his dry texting style, he improved his texts and now writes full sentences.
It would be great if we could have more balanced and engaging conversations that interest us both. I would appreciate any advice or insights you may have on the matter. Thank you in advance!
P.S: He's an Aqua sun, Taurus moon and Aries Rising.

TLDR: father cheated on mother for a certain period of time which caused a lot of grief for the family. Although he’s tried to reach out consistently for the 6 years over call/text; I’ve cut him out… he has now moved back into my neighbourhood from overseas and is sick - unsure if I should hear him out for my own sake?
Backstory; I was very close with my father. Essentially my best friend and I always made more effort than anyone in my family during these years when I was last speaking to him as mother and sister grew more distant with him (from my perspective). From my view, mum and dad didn’t hate each other or fight and everything was fine based upon a mutual respect for each other, but when you live apart for 20+ years you surely just stop caring as much what the other person is doing. Father also has been sick with cancer at this point but not terminal, but it’s one thing after another and never seems to get better.
Anyways in 2017, Father was caught texting female co worker inappropriate things whilst he was visiting our family, as he works overseas. I was unaware of this and my sister found out. She then told mum who confronted him and he claimed he was unhappy for years and was finally happy with this girl and he wants a divorce. Absolutely blindsiding mum. This happened on the Friday night. On the Saturday morning I got whiff something of this nature was going on between them and I confronted him, of which he denied that anyone was up there and everything was fine with mum. It wasn’t until Monday morning when he was on a flight back overseas that he calls me to say “look your mum and I are getting a divorce and this new girl makes me happy and I can’t wait for you to come up here and meet her!” (Pretty lousy way to find out your parents are breaking up).
I was furious and cut him off completely in respect for mum who never put a foot wrong in the marriage and always did the right thing by him.
There are many more elements to this story I could go into after this happened that just contribute to the fact that he is a notorious liar and still is.
Yearly, he will message me for my birthday/randomly wanting to start fresh or to talk but whenever he does it always brings up emotional things for me from that weekend and the hurt he caused me in letting me down. He will always say something along the lines of “you’ll always be my son and I’ll always love you”. But whenever I had tried to talk to him and to get him to apologise for what he did, he seems completely unaware he’s ever done anything wrong. Like “sorry if you feel this way about what I did” rather than “I’m sorry for what I did and the pain it caused”.
now he’s messaged me again out of the blue saying he’s moved back to the neighbourhood and would like to clear up everything once and for all. I still speak to certain members of the family and know his health is getting worse and unsure how long he has left.
I live a good life without him and have become successful in life not needing anything from him and I’m fine 98% of the time but there a moments where it still gets to me and I still hurt bad over what happened.
I just don’t know if ignoring him this time is the right thing. I don’t want to play ‘what if’ with myself in 20 years time that I should have taken this opportunity to clear my head… but on the other hand, he’s essentially dead to me and I feel nothing for him + there is nothing that would make me change my mind to have any room for him in my life… so what’s the point in going to see him?
Any advice will be appreciated Thanks

Good morning Reddit!
My name is Ty and I was a smoker for 15 years before I finally quit (after many unsuccessful attempts) in 2021. Let me start by saying: If you're here and you've quit for any amount of time, congrats! And if you're just about to start this journey, you've got this!
I'll cut right to the chase--I've spent a couple of years developing a better (cheaper, easier, more comfortable) method for people to quit smoking, and I'd love for you to check it out and offer any feedback or ask questions!
Allow me to introduce: SmokeBreaker!
www.smokebreaker.us
What is it?
SmokeBreaker is the first bluetooth-operated cigarette pack that controls users’ cigarette intake, allowing them to quit in a gradual and comfortable manner, and uniquely designed to mitigate one of the biggest obstacles smokers face when quitting: self-control.
SmokeBreaker is simple and easy to use. Quickly download the app (available soon on all major platforms) and pair it to your device–this will be your portal to unlock and open the pack. Then, enter your basic information and receive an individualized plan, determined by our scientifically-backed algorithm and specifically tailored to guarantee your comfort and success. Fill the pack with cigarettes, and begin your journey towards freedom.
Let’s take a look at a day in the life.
Smoke 20 cigarettes a day? For the next week, you’ll smoke 19. No-brainer. The name of the game here is changing habits slowly.
When you wake up in the morning, simply use the app to dispense your first cigarette and let the program calculate how long until you can unlock another. Worried about cheating? Don’t be! The pack only releases one cigarette at a time. At the end of the week, check-in with the app and move on down to 18! Easy!
Can’t make time to smoke at the scheduled interval? No problem. Cigarettes can be released later, but never before. We want to set you up for success, and as long as you’re smoking less daily cigarettes than you were last week, well, that’s a win in our book.
However, we all know that quitting involves mental–not just physical–support. We’ve got you on that front. Our app uses cutting-edge CBT techniques to get you through those rough moments, offering access to support communities, meditation exercises, and handy reminders of why you’re taking this step to change your life! And by “gamifying” your journey–a technique which has proven to improve results–you might even have a little fun. Watch as your money piles up, collect badges for health milestones, and before you know it, it’s time to part ways.

A little backstory...
The idea for SmokeBreaker was born from my own quitting journey.
The year was 2020, COVID was in full-swing, and I was locked down in my Los Angeles shoebox apartment with my girlfriend, both of us working from home.
As was the case for so many, the isolation and monotony of the pandemic forced me into a state of self-reflection, and I couldn’t stop thinking about the fragility of life.
At first, smoking seemed like a short reprieve from an existence which had been reduced to the 800 square foot apartment we were cohabitating. It was a chance to get up from the desk that I had been sitting at for what felt like years, and step outside. But as I watched the cigarette butts–those which would usually be tossed in various trash cans around the city–form into an enormous pile in the ashtray outside my door, I couldn’t avoid the sinking feeling that I was staring at my own demise.
Life, I realized, was too precious for that. So I decided to quit.
“How hard could it be?” I figured.
As it turns out, very. But if you’re reading this, you probably know that.
My first attempt was cold-turkey. “When I finish this pack,” I boldly stated to my girlfriend, “I’m done.” And as I triumphantly threw the empty pack into the garbage the next morning, I really believed that. But as the hours went by and the cravings got worse, my addicted brain made up the first of many excuses: “right now is just too stressful of a time.” So I bought another pack and started up again.
After a couple days of watching those cigarette butts pile up, I wondered how I could have ever believed that. Life is stressful. The best time to quit is now. So I went on Amazon and ordered nicotine patches and gum. When they arrived, I once again threw out my empty pack into the trash, ready to break-free. I slapped on a patch and went about my day. For a few weeks this worked, with the gum somewhat offsetting the oral fixation, but I was still deeply uncomfortable. Sure, I was addicted to nicotine, but I was also addicted to the process. Closing my computer, getting up, pouring a cup of coffee, stepping outside, lighting a cigarette, and tuning out the world for a few minutes. That process addiction got the best of me, and I was back to the races, with nothing to show for my time besides $100+ wasted on nicotine replacement therapies.
Fast forward a couple of weeks and I was ready to try again. My girlfriend suggested I slowly cut down my cigarette consumption, and I agreed that it sounded like a decent plan. By this point, I knew myself well enough to understand that, left to my own devices, I could never adhere to these guidelines if I was in possession of the pack, so I asked her to hold on to them, dispensing only a certain amount each day. The strange circumstances of COVID–which reduced our entire lives to a 30 foot radius–allowed her to take on that burden. And so the next day we began, agreeing to cut down to 15 from my usual pack-a-day habit. The plan worked brilliantly…until about 8 p.m.
“That’s it,” she said, “you’re tapped out.”
I protested, insisting that perhaps we had been too ambitious with the decrease, and the “one more was still better than usual.” My girlfriend, a lawyer by trade and a stickler for the “terms and conditions,” wasn’t having it.
“Ty,” she warned me, “if you beg me one more time, I’m going to kill you long before these cigarettes can.”
With the stress of COVID, I’m honestly not sure if she was kidding. So we went back to the drawing board and came up with this:
Each day, when I woke up, I would divide the amount of hours remaining until we went to bed (usually around 11pm) by my daily cigarette allowance. Only after that amount of time passed could I ask for another cigarette. If I had meetings all day, no problem, I could always claim them later, but this process guaranteed that I never found myself at my daily limit in the early evening, wondering how I would make it to the next day.
Eventually, the process became routine. Personally, I found that after about 5 days I could cut my daily allowance by one cigarette and barely even notice. And so it went. Tapering one cigarette at a time over the course of 3 months, until it was just a single cigarette per day.
As my sense of smell and taste returned, those final cigarettes became more disgusting than they were satisfying. On February 1, 2021, I stubbed out my final cigarette and never smoked again.
Amazed by the ease of this process, I wondered how I could help other smokers quit like I did. While I can’t offer you my girlfriend (although she was, admittedly, pretty great at this job), I wanted to create a product that offers you the same protection and accountability that she gave me. That’s why invented SmokeBreaker, the first bluetooth-controlled cigarette pack that controls your intake, allowing you to quit gradually and comfortably.
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TLDR: father cheated on mother for a certain period of time which caused a lot of grief for the family. Although he’s tried to reach out consistently for the 6 years over call/text; I’ve cut him out… he has now moved back into my neighbourhood from overseas and is sick - unsure if I should hear him out for my own sake?
Backstory; I was very close with my father. Essentially my best friend and I always made more effort than anyone in my family during these years when I was last speaking to him as mother and sister grew more distant with him (from my perspective). From my view, mum and dad didn’t hate each other or fight and everything was fine based upon a mutual respect for each other, but when you live apart for 20+ years you surely just stop caring as much what the other person is doing. Father also has been sick with cancer at this point but not terminal, but it’s one thing after another and never seems to get better.
Anyways in 2017, Father was caught texting female co worker inappropriate things whilst he was visiting our family, as he works overseas. I was unaware of this and my sister found out. She then told mum who confronted him and he claimed he was unhappy for years and was finally happy with this girl and he wants a divorce. Absolutely blindsiding mum. This happened on the Friday night. On the Saturday morning I got whiff something of this nature was going on between them and I confronted him, of which he denied that anyone was up there and everything was fine with mum. It wasn’t until Monday morning when he was on a flight back overseas that he calls me to say “look your mum and I are getting a divorce and this new girl makes me happy and I can’t wait for you to come up here and meet her!” (Pretty lousy way to find out your parents are breaking up).
I was furious and cut him off completely in respect for mum who never put a foot wrong in the marriage and always did the right thing by him.
There are many more elements to this story I could go into after this happened that just contribute to the fact that he is a notorious liar and still is.
Yearly, he will message me for my birthday/randomly wanting to start fresh or to talk but whenever he does it always brings up emotional things for me from that weekend and the hurt he caused me in letting me down. He will always say something along the lines of “you’ll always be my son and I’ll always love you”. But whenever I had tried to talk to him and to get him to apologise for what he did, he seems completely unaware he’s ever done anything wrong. Like “sorry if you feel this way about what I did” rather than “I’m sorry for what I did and the pain it caused”.
now he’s messaged me again out of the blue saying he’s moved back to the neighbourhood and would like to clear up everything once and for all. I still speak to certain members of the family and know his health is getting worse and unsure how long he has left.
I live a good life without him and have become successful in life not needing anything from him and I’m fine 98% of the time but there a moments where it still gets to me and I still hurt bad over what happened.
I just don’t know if ignoring him this time is the right thing. I don’t want to play ‘what if’ with myself in 20 years time that I should have taken this opportunity to clear my head… but on the other hand, he’s essentially dead to me and I feel nothing for him + there is nothing that would make me change my mind to have any room for him in my life… so what’s the point in going to see him?
Any advice will be appreciated Thanks

We've made it to the quarterfinals!
While there weren't really any shocking outcomes in the Sweet 16, we had some interesting and close matches nonetheless -- here's a recap of how all eight matches went!

San's Cinderalla run comes to a screeching halt against Sakurako, who continues her winning ways by a convincing 76-24 margin
Corbeau edges out Kirika and takes the win in a battle of spinoff characters, 58-42
In the closest match of the round, Pernelle's knowledge and experience falls just short against the brute force of Holy Mami -- HM takes the win, 53-47!
While Kanagi might be one of the strongest Light units in Kamihama, she's no match for one of the strongest Light units in history -- Tart comes out on top, 74-26!
Hommando makes quick work of Yuna, 87-13
Yachiyo scores another blowout victory by obliterating Ebony, 95-5!
Juri knocks off a #1 seed! Mikoto goes down against the Dragon in convincing fashion, 61-39
Evil triumphs in its war against good, at least this time -- Isabeau narrowly escapes an upset by defeating Liz, 55-45!

For the new folks: inspired by the March Madness college basketball tournament, Mitama has put together a giant bracket for all of the magical girls in Kamihama and beyond -- and whoever wins can stake their claim as the strongest meguca of all time! (Probably :P)

You can view the entire tournament bracket and the results from all previous rounds here.
Here's the link to this round's bracket: https://forms.gle/CVFaWjJCt5iHL9Pr8

Make sure to read all the instructions on the Google Form, set aside a few minutes to make your way through all the matchups, and have fun!
Voting will close in the evening on Friday, March 31!

I have been waiting until the card is basically set, but here's what I think about upcoming Mania. I'll place ratings based on how invested in the match I am, not necessarily how good the match is going to be. Aside from the ones I call out, these are in no particular order
Rey Mysterio vs. Dominik Mysterio (5/5) Predicted to open night 1. I mean...come on. What better match to open up the whole shebang. This story is fantastic and deserves a good spot. I sense a Damien Priest split soon, since he's the only JD member not featured. The only match I truly can't make a definite prediction on. This could go either way and still make a great story. I'll pick Dom by some shenanigan though. Winner: Dominik Mysterio
Men's Showcase. Braun Stroman & Ricochet vs Street Profits vs Alpha Academy vs The Viking Raiders (1/5 bathroom break) The only reason I could remotely care about this match is if they announced the winner would have a shot at one of the tag titles. And even then, the only team I'd want to see do it is the Profits. Winners: Street Profits (I guess)
Women's Showcase. Liv Morgan and Raquel Rodriguez vs. Natalya and Shotzi vs. Ronda Rousey and Shayna Bazler vs. Chelsea Green and Sonya Deville (is there a 0/5 option? Well, it's my post, so there is now. 0/5) I don't know, were people not watching the battle royals so they decided to do these instead? Even if a title shot was on the line, I wouldn't care much about this match. The only person here who I am a bit invested in is Raquel. I might suffer through some of this match just to see her throw some people around. Winners: Liv Morgan and Raquel Rodriguez (I guess)
Intercontinental Championship Gunther (c) vs. Sheamus vs. Drew McIntyre (5/5) Predicted to open night 1 or 2. Seriously, these three have been on a tear against each other. This is going to be hard hitting, entertaining, and elevate the tone of the entire show. I am so happy to see the IC championship get some attention. It's always been my favorite. Gunther is doing GREAT and I can easily see him breaking Honky Tonk Man's record. But honestly, any of these three could take it. Sheamus could finally complete his title collection, or Drew could have a good IC run before getting back in the world title conversation. Tough to say who I want to win. I'll go with Gunther in hopes he continues to get to the record. Winner: Gunther
Edge vs. Finn Balor (Hell in a Cell) (4/5) This feud has been great. These two bring out the best in each other and I am happy to see heel Balor succeeding on the main roster. First Hell in a Cell on WM since 2016 and it's going to be a good one. The only point I am taking off is I am not sure where these two go after this? Edge, though in great shape, is almost 50. What's left for him to do? Finn still has some stories left to write, including the Universal Title, but that feels pretty far off. I think Edge does the favor for Finn, probably on his way out. Winner: Finn Balor
Becky Lynch, Lita & Trish Stratus vs. Damage CTRL (1/5, bathroom break) Here's my problem. You have these tag titles, right? That DESPERATELY need attention. So at the showcase of the immortals, the grandest stage of them all, the biggest night of the year....you choose not to have them on the line? Proof positive you don't care about them. Lita's not even full time, so how much are they going to be featured and how long will this run last? I think Iyo and Dakota could have gone somewhere big with them, but it fell flat right away. Baley's return at SummerSlam was the moment but the didn't DO anything with it. She's recycling the stuff she used in 2020 and it's not working. I get why you brought in Lita and Trish, for the name recognition. Maybe one more match between the two, setting up Trish to turn? The women's tag division needs some help. Anyway, doubt Lita and Trish are coming back to eat the pin and Iyo and Dakota need to regroup before coming back for these belts. So, unless Bayley pulls one over on Becky, I don't see Damage CTRL winning this one. Winners: Becky Lynch, Lita, & Trish Stratus.
United States Championship Austin Theory (c) vs. John Cena (3/5) I love Theory as US Champion. He's doing so good. He needs just a little bit more....something. I just don't see him feuding with the likes of Damien Priest or Bronson Reed without a little more clout. And this match will give it to him. John should make this kid look like a million bucks, get him some big time heat, and go away happy. Let him move on to the next feud with that extra chip on his shoulder. I would feel better about this match if Theory had won the chamber clean, but I still think he takes it. Winner: Austin Theory
Seth Rollins vs. Logan Paul (2/5) I get it, Logan is a draw. And he's actually pretty good at this. Not GREAT, not full time good. But not bad. And as much as I love Seth and his current character, I think it's time for a change. The fans seem to love it though. I just don't want it to get flat before he changes. He's always been ahead of the game though, so maybe. I think this will be an ok match. Either Logan will win with shenanigans to get sympathy for Rollins (Rebuild) or Rollins will win to get the big WM pop and move on to bigger things. I think the latter. Winner: Seth Rollins
Brock Lesnar vs. Omos (2/5) This is going to be like watching two elephants trying to throw each other. It'll be clumsy, at least one table is going to get broken (probably a barricade too), and a ref is going to get taken out. MVP might get an F5. Omos needs the win to even be slightly credible, which is saying something given his size. Someone that big should be an instant attraction, but he's just so boring. Right now his only saving grace is he has MVP. Brock has been entertaining as Hell lately, but he probably doesn't have many left. Maybe this is Brock's last match, maybe it isn't. But he should make Omos look good and call it a check. Winner: Omos
Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championship The Usos (c) vs. Sami Zayn & Kevin Owens (4/5) Predicted to open night 1 or 2, or close night 1. The story is great, the hype is great, the performers are great. This is going to be a good match with a lot of drama, and deserves a good spot. The only thing that makes me hesitate is what they are going to do with the tag titles. If the Usos win, I don't see the Bloodline story going much further and they need to split the titles soon. If Zayn and Owens win, they need to split the titles soon. I don't know how though, without them challenging for only one of the titles here. Maybe at Backlash they only defend one of them? The momentum that this story has can't be wasted so Zayn and Owens are probably going to win. Winners: Sami Zayne & Kevin Owens.
Raw Women's championship Bianca Belair (c) vs. Asuka (5/5 or 2/5) Yes, I have two ratings for this match. It depends on who wins. If my prediction (or desire I guess) is correct, Asuka wins and tears through the Women's division like she did in NXT. Build Raquel or Rhea to be the next person to take her down (I think Rhea will win though so that may either be down the line or off the table). Bianca is a fan favorite and doing her job as champion OUTSIDE of the ring excellently. But I don't find her interesting INSIDE the ring. Asuka looks like a dangerous fighter when she's in there, she makes me believe someone is going to get their ass kicked. The language barrier might hold her back from being a media magnet, but I still think she's charismatic enough to get people to watch. I'll 2/5 if Bianca wins because I feel like a year is long enough, too long really. Numbers drive everything in this business though, so she will probably retain. Winner: I hope Asuka but likely Bianca.
SmackDown Women's championship Charlotte Flair (c) vs. Rhea Ripley (4/5 or 3/5) As above, it depends on who wins. I actually don't mind Charlotte this time around but I don't see it carrying past WM. Rhea has been on a roll. She should dominate the women's division. Maybe feud with Raquel later on. You can just tell she's having fun, and that makes it so much better. I'm excited to see what's next for Mami. Winner: Rhea Ripley
Undisputed WWE Universal championship Roman Reigns (c) vs. Cody Rhodes (4.9/5) Predicted to close night 2 for that 'go home' camera shot. There's a lot to look at here. On one hand, Roman has been the best thing in WWE for long time. The bloodline story is masterful, his character has made the shows must see if he's there. He has been the definition of what a champion is supposed to be. He got me back watching (not every week, but more often than I was) again. He's made me care about the product again. I think he deserves to break 1000 days as champ and possibly move past Pedro's record (1,027 days). But...
On the other hand, if not now, when? Some things have come to light since I last said I thought Roman was going to win. This seeming alliance between Rhodes, Zayn, and Owens has raised some questions. Like...can he? When no one else has been able to, can Cody dethrone the Chief? Can he finish the story? I really don't know. And if he can, what then? We need to split the titles again. Does he drop the Universal Title and only cary the WWE? Does the Universal Title lose credibility if he does?
I think the match itself will be good, lots of drama, lots of reactions. Not sure how or if Solo is going to get involved (unless something developed since he lost to Cody that I missed), but I think if the Usos lose Reigns will tell them to just go home. I think this is where the Bloodline dissolves. I so want to see history made but I'm not sure how much further past WM Roman can take this, if at all. I'm sure it will be a 5 star match, and it's a 5 star story, but I don't know if we will get a 5 star follow up. Winner: Cody Rhodes.
I would like to hear what ya'll think!

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