We will be moving abroad in the next 3-5 months and are therefore looking to sell our home. We have a 20% HTB equity loan on our house.
We have good reason to believe that we can achieve a higher sale price than what a RICS survey will value the house for HTB repayment purposes.
Our plan is therefore to try to repay our HTB loan and then sell in a few months time. Our fixed rate on mortgage is up on Jan 2025. We don’t have the cash to repay HTB outright.
How could we finance this for this short-term need (100-120k)? I’ve thought about mortgage advance, new mortgage on variable rate.. are there other options? There is also a chance my company will cover the cost of breaking our mortgage to sell as part of the relocation package.

Hi I’m looking to be added to my partners mortgage next year when she looks to remortgage. I’m trying to get things in shale and I’ve recently been offered a lower interest rate on a personal loan I have. I have the option to continue paying the same amount or decrease my monthly payment by increasing the length of the term. Would the latter option, which would increase my affordability be the better option? My current payment is about 14% of my monthly salary. Thanks

I am going to be defending my thesis later this month. Originally I planned to defend in early September and had a postdoc position lined up for immediately after. But my graduate committee insisted the date be moved forward to June because I had already satisfied the requirements (I have been very lucky and had a productive set of projects). After that, my supervisor said I need to stay until September since that's when my postdoc starts. Mind you, my scholarship funding ends when I submit my thesis and I reside in a high cost of living area. They made no salary offer. The opportunity cost for me is about $6500 a month (living expenses plus wages lost at postdoc). I know that I could ask my postdoc supervisor to start early and they would agree.
I am seeking advice for what to do. I don't want to burn any bridges with my old boss, who I have a close relationship with. But I am not happy at being asked to lose a lot of money and work for free. How do I say that I'm not staying without being the A-hole. I know they're going to say "but we agreed you were going to stay."

Hi all - I want to lay out my financial situation to gauge what could be a better move for my short to medium-term finances. For context, I am 25M and live in a MCOL city.
Financial Picture:
Retirement (ROTH IRA, 401K): $29,000
Cash: $6,000
Brokerage: $3,800 Health Savings Account: $700
Net Worth: $27,000
Debt (excluding mortgage) Car Loan: $23,500 - 5.79% APR Student Loans: $34,000 - 4.4% APR and on forbearance until September depending on what happens with the supreme court case. --
I really want to pay off my car. It is a 2 year old car with 30k miles on it that I bought used. Each month I have around $1100 after paying my bills, spending money, and my pre-tax contributions to health care and 401k. I have been maxing my ROTH IRA for 2 years. I am between two options that I like to hear some feedback on.
OPTION A: I would continue maxing my ROTH IRA and putting the additional $600~ to my car payment. Doing this would let me pay off my car in approximately 30 months and continue to max out my ROTH IRA.
OPTION B: Forgo my ROTH IRA contributions for 18 months, but I would have a paid off car that is a little over four years old. I still contribute to the 5% match in my 401K.
So essentially the difference is paying off the car one year quicker but not contributing to the ROTH IRA during that time. I should also note that it is likely I get a new job with a decent pay raise during this time, and if that did happen, I would start my contributions again.
I would love feedback on both options and help me weigh out what to do. I plan on executing one of these options as soon as July.
TYIA

The 3 basic parameters of hashtag #Valzubiriagenda:

1. We artists and everyone else can write and self-publish art- and artist-related books: memoirs, biographies, art books and art catalogs. Books are forever. Pamphlets and brochures are not books.
2. We announce a schedule of increasing prices of our art pieces, which includes quantities (scarcity numbers) per price point and overall (the total quantity of art pieces we might ever make). This helps art traders, art investors and art collectors speculate or even stop speculating and instead join a community of investors working together to hopefully skyrocket to the higher announced prices in a shorter span of time.
3. We can use the NFT world, because NFTs provide the tracking (who owns what) and trading.

We can also not be involved with NFTs. Stores and individuals can help sell art using online presence and our catalogs in the stores. If this trends, or once this trends, even expensive art can be sold by neighboring businesses, without exclusivity. Commission systems do not have to be standardized. Art investors can produce their own catalogs to leave at the cafés. Even the cafés can produce their own catalogs.
Valzubiriagenda NFTs
NFTs only came about a few years ago. But I had been working on this since the 1990s. I wrote a book, Valzubiriagenda, along with fellow artist Silverio Perez, and released it in 2018 (Amazon and elsewhere), tackling everything related to #1 & #2. We'll come up with #3 in a later book/ memoi marketing book.
Any artist, including tangible artists can release 10,000 NFTs if the artist chooses to do so. For tangible artists, the NFT first becomes an Art Commission Contract for sight unseen, yet-to-be made art. Once the art is made, the NFT becomes proof of ownership that the actual, tangible art is theirs.
Warehousing our tangible art
Another related idea is that the tangible art may be warehoused by the artist so that the NFT traders continue to trade. This means that even 10-ton 10-foot tall sculptures can be owned and traded by anyone without worrying about shipping, reshipping, scratches, smudges, parts breaking off, etc. The newness of the pieces remain because they are stored by the artist, source, gallery, etc. The art piece gets shipped to the art collector, the ultimate owner.
An artist who makes ceramic coffee mugs - smaller art pieces, can release 10,000 NFTs with a schedule of increasing prices so that NFT traders can trade immediately. The 10,000 coffee mugs can get damaged, so as they are made, they continue to be stored by the artist, until the time when art collectors decide to have the art pieces shipped to them.
Why only now?
I decided to write as many book-length memoirs as I can before I came out to promote this.
I'm an artist and an author. Both need time to "master." I would not even fully use "master" on myself, because there's always something new, even to my own art, my own writing and publishing.

I am now claiming that I'm the visual artist who has produced the most artist memoirs in the world. I have 5 on Amazon. I count Valzubiriagenda as both a marketing book and a memoir-of-sorts, because it has a lot of my own life lessons on writing and publishing. I would not care to contest my claim of having the most memoirs. I will release 5 more over the next 3 years.

BARTER! Get help to write, photograph art and publish your books!
Anyone can hire 11 ghostwriters for 11 memoirs. If you can make art, but you cannot write, then barter your forever art with those who can help you produce forever books.
I don't feel the pressure of writing and publishing because I feel my focus should be on art students and art experts who would study my art and my books 100 years from now. Don't expect relatives and friends to read your books.
I call myself the Dollman
For my NFTs, I am proposing to make dioramas - my original, costumed, bejeweled porcelain dolls in backdrops that will also have precious metals and gemstones. This way I can incorporate precious metals and gemstones in my work, to make sure that people perceive my art as expensive, just in case I myself don't become "famous" - there's no need to get world famous. We are artists and all we need to do is to satisfy the art niche.
Use your laptop now!
I will encourage you to start writing your book-length memoir. Write, Edit and then Self-publish it. Get help. Why wait a hundred years for someone to write about you when all you need is a laptop and a nearby coffee shop.
Don't start counting chickens before the eggs hatch. I have encountered a lot of would-be writers who immediately see themselves as bestselling. world famous assets to society. Two even wanted me to sign NDAs (Nondisclosure agreements), because they did not want me to steal their book ideas.
Here's a suggestion. I would not personally do it. From one manuscript can come 2 books: The Original Draft (unedited, with misspellings, considered to be an art piece, scanned pages(?) of your handwritten original effort), and The Final Edition (edited).
PROVENANCE!
Another way to enhance our investability, tradability and collectability is PROVENANCE - how art ownership proceeds through time. The way this can be done is also through publishing books. Everyone can write their memoirs, biographies, art books and art catalogs, including traders, investors and art collectors. In effect, we artists can continue to be included or mentioned in even more books, without any additional effort by us.
You as an investor, reseller, trader, art collector should be able to publish a catalog with 250 works by 250 different artists, but they need to agree to this right from the start - it's your money, you should require them to follow your version of the hashtag #valzubiriagenda parameters, which preferably should include permission for you to publish their art. Why would you track down 250 artists later?
No exclusive contracts
If you're a café, you can call for artists, and come up with a book with for example, 30 artists, with a chapter devoted to each artist's profile and images of the artist's art.
You can distribute your catalogs to businesses and individuals near and far and online.
The book Valzubiriagenda even cites that funeral homes and janitors closets can sell art, with or without exclusivity. Airline catalogs can include million dollar art pieces. Car manufacturers, showrooms and even car repair shops can sell art as well. Everyone should be able to do this, anywhere in the world, especially not just because of the pandemic, but right now, we are in really bad economies.
What's with the name #Valzubiriagenda
I was into conspiracy theories in 2018, and this term, "The Mandela Effect," was popular. I had read many times that an artist coined the term, but I had to research online, for her name, many times, before remembering it. I'm not good at remembering names. It took me a year and a half to finally tell you that Fiona Broome coined "The Mandela Effect."
I also thought I might have to research trademarks and copyrights just to come up with a generic name. So I decided on "Valzubiriagenda." I was not really sure at first, but I decided to use it as the title for my book (with co-authoartist Silverio Perez) so that there would be no turning back and I can move on.
Am I a FUTURIST?
Someone I recently met this May 2022 just called me a futurist.
In the 1990s, I proposed to a pension fund that they can raise billions of dollars, especially for emergencies, or as needed, or out of desperation, if the pension fund purchases a quantity of art from an artist who not only has a current, reasonable price, but an announced future price that the artist wants to reach.
That future price would obviously be higher than the current price. The art commission contract for multiple art pieces can be taken to the fund's financial lender for a loan. The higher future price can be used for financing purposes.
The pension fund's treasurer, a publicly elected official, said this idea might work, but we had to keep this a secret and discuss this some more, because other pension funds might copy and do this prematurely. This idea had to come from the two of us. The treasurer needed his votes and I needed credentials.
Added into the pot was my idea that I, as the artist, will also write one book-length artist memoir. This was and still is a strong factor, because the leadership and marketing books I had read then mentioned a strong tip. If you want to advance in your field, write a full-length book that is related to the field.
Unfortunately, the elected official, the treasurer of the pension fund, who was also a friend, passed away - he was old and had ailments. At that point in time, I cannot just approach another pension fund treasurer to share this idea with.
I realized I had to write a few memoirs. I needed to set an example for other artists, so I needed to write more than one memoir. Then I felt I should also make ready another book - the how-to of what I'm up to. I wrote Valzubiriagenda, which was a memoir of sorts. I knew how long it would take me to write a book, so I had to make sure I can also consider this book a memoir.
In 2008, I imagined that someone like Bernie Madoff, or a fund like Lehman Brothers, would be desperate enough to use this to save themselves and their companies. I was not ready. I had only written 1 manuscript for a memoir.
In 2012, I released Dollman the Musical, A Memoir of an Artist as a Dollmaker. Once again, I was not ready because writing it depressed me a little, and I knew I had to write more.
In 2014, I released 3 memoirs, and re-released Dollman the Musical. Besides releasing regular books, I released special editions of the 4 books, which had a "Special Secret Insert for Bankers," which explains my ideas of an announced schedule of exponentially increasing prices, to satisfy investors, and the publication of artist memoirs, to satisfy art collectors.
In 2014, I also issued out a press release. Google "Can Billion Dollar Artist Save Investors and World Economy Valentino Zubiri PRWeb August 19 2014" and you will see the press release.
What I did was stake a claim on my ideas. I did not promote my books and the press release. I just wanted them to stay online, like a sleeping giant or a dormant volcano. I even designed 3 of the book covers to look like indie books from the 1980s. I was planting the seeds, thinking they will eventually grow and bear fruit in the future.
In 2015, I was interviewed by Richard Syrett, about one of my memoirs, Hocus Pocus Lately. This book is my memoir with paranormal stories. I could have pursued promoting my paranormal stories, but I wanted to be known first as a visual artist and memoirist, so I allowed myself one interview related to Hocus Pocus Lately. Richard Syrett has(had?) his own syndicated radio show, The Conspiracy Show with Richard Syrett, about the paranormal. He also guest hosts on Coast to Coast AM, another internationally syndicated show about the paranormal.
In 2018, I released Valzubiriagenda (co-authored by artist Silverio Perez, a fellow artist). Finally, this book is "the how-to of what I'm to."
I'm going to end this with some strangeness. In 1986, a lady at a religious gathering went into a trance and left a good number of messages. Supposedly, anyone who got into a trance would have messages, but once the trance was over, the person would not remember what was said.
I was not part of the group, but the lady turned her head to face me. She "foretold" that whatever I would decide to do in the future, it will take time, but it will be the right thing. This is one of my stories in one of my memoirs, Hocus Pocus Lately.
The Tulipmania of 1634-37
I discovered that there was this incident of rare tulips becoming collectible during the Dutch Golden Age. There were tulips so rare and so well-desired that their prices equaled to that of a house. You can read more about this online (Wikipedia) or watch a few YouTube videos about it.
Here is the most useful idea that I gleaned from the Tulipmania. The tulip bulbs remained safe inside nurseries. The traders were carrying the deeds of ownership to the tulip bulbs.
Then NFTs came to the forefront
I started learning PHP, an HTML scripting language, and MySQL, the database that PHP can connect to in the background, in 1999, when there were only 3 books about PHP and MySQL at the bookstores.
By 2014, I was trying to figure out how to make the "ledger," or database that can be used to update ownership and who can be contacted. If we are trading art, then the art ownership should be updated.
Then NFTs came about. This can be used as our ledger. Everyone can immediately trade NFTs of future, yet-to-be made art pieces, especially because it takes time to make tangible art.
NFTs actually went a step ahead, by allowing digital art to be traded.
The only setback with NFTs, in my opinion, is that it still lacks a commission system for resellers and representatives.
For example, if a café wants to represent me, then they can promote me at their café and on their online pages. If I make one piece of art that will be exclusively represented by a gallery, then that commission will be different and more specific. As ownership is transferred, the subsequent owners should be able to reset the commission. We should also have the option of giving commissions to hundreds of representatives at one time with different percentages if need be.
The recent crypto crash
Lately, we have observed that NFTs and cryptocurrencies have been behaving like the stock market and other markets. They have been fluctuating.
I believe that it is time for a trend which discourages fluctuation of prices.
I have also seen YouTube videos where social influencers are encouraging us to be on the lookout for exponentially profitable ventures, because we have all seen this happen with the exponential increase of Bitcoin and Ethereum.
Let's see if #Valzubiriagenda trends
We can announce present and future art prices. The galleries won't do this (yet?) because they follow a more traditional approach to the business of art.
We have a choice of using incrementally or exponentially increasing prices. We still reserve the right to change things in the future, so everyone should know to follow the latest update.
If this trends, if you as an artist simply announces that you will write an artist memoir, or that you will include the future works in future art books, you might have more art traders, investors and collectors approaching you.
Get your pen, paper and calculator
Imagine yourself as an artist, where you are right now. Let's just say you still do not have a book about yourself and your art yet. Imagine now that you have a memoir out there. Don't you think it makes sense to charge more than what you are charging now? Writing and publishing books is just the beginning. I'm just standardizing this approach. The books also say to do other related projects. In my case, getting Dollman the Musical onstage is one idea. You will have other related projects, but the publication of memoirs, biographies, art books and art catalogs will help all of us.
You can also imagine that a law firm that has meeting rooms, with someone who wants to form a local #valzubiriagenda group, can have meetings. A local café can do the same. Local photographers for your art, writers, editors, book designers, proofreaders and others can join in.
I suggest have printed books to share. 15 copies of your memoir or art books will be better than an e-reader or laptop or your phone to show. These gadgets can be stolen, sabotaged, broken, have coffee spilled on them, etc. 15 printed books means simultaneously showing to 15 people. You can even give them away to potential resellers, investors, traders and collectors.
When it rains, it pours, as in the days of Noah
There's a saying, "When it rains, it pours." There is a negative interpretation and a positive interpretation.
Negative: When trouble comes, they cascade to even more.
Positive: When opportunity comes knocking, more follow suit. We can assume that if one gets our art because of #valzubiriagenda, more want to do it now, because of the rising prices, and FOMO - fear of missing out. What will they lose if they miss the boat?
As I have said earlier, if the #valzubiriagenda trends, if you announce a future memoir or art catalog, you might have an increase of investors, traders and art collectors who would want to check you out. You might encourage more sales. Just remember to write and publish that memoir and art catalog.
There's this saying, "As in the days of Noah." Imagine Noah, building his ark, with members of his own family, putting all his time and effort into it. Noah was a nice guy. I'm sure every once in a while a neighbor offered him coffee, or chai latte, or whatever refreshing drink they might have back then.
Here's the lesson to be learned. Just because they offered him some type of bubble tea drink, or coca cola, they still didn't make it to the ark. Rubbing shoulders with actors does not make you an actor. I have told my artist friends to write their memoirs. They told me that once they see me succeed, after all these many years of seeing my seemingly useless efforts, then they will write their memoirs and follow the road that I had paved for them.
Good luck to them, but if I were you, act now, get my art or make art. Support the 5-year old artist whose parent promised to release a comprehensive art catalog. If you get that 5-year old's art, and mine, I would be honored to be in the same art catalog that you will produce. I'm already successful at that point. You have gotten the mission just right.
I have already claimed to have written the most book-length artist memoirs in the world. Dethrone that claim. Barter. Use ghostwriters. Success to me means facing God one day and saying, I wrote my memoirs and left the world a legacy of books and art. I will not tell God, smiling and proudly, that I encouraged a run for my art by announcing a schedule of exponentially increasing prices that reached 9 figures. I'm sure God knows we had fun.

JOIN THIS GROUP

If you want to try out #valzubiriagenda, in any capacity, join this group. Let others know about this group as well.
If you are an artist, you can let everyone know here that you will produce your memoir, art catalogs, etc. It's okay if you don't know how to go about publishing yet, I will discuss this. Please be honorable enough to produce what you promise to produce.
If you want to meet fellow artists, investors, resellers, etc., join us here.
If you are a book writer, editor, proofreader; if you can photograph art pieces; if you are a book designer, etc., join us here. Let us know if you charge, barter for art, or both.
If you have your own tips and knowledge to share, join us here.
If you have underaged artists you are managing (parents, etc.) join us here.
Join this group if you want to sell works. Post your works. You web links. I'm sure I will.
You can announce meetings in your area. You might have meeting rooms, a café, restaurant, etc. where people can meet. In the future, you can have the regular show and tell, where books can be shown and shared.
​
Thanks for reading. Please let me know if I need to edit some parts. Please share and join this group. - Valentino Zubiri, Dollman, Artist, Memoirist
Underaged artists are welcome here, so please be mindful of your language. We cannot post your adult-oriented art pieces, but you can direct us to a separate page or community. There will be limits to your posts, and there will be adult-oriented art that we cannot allow to be posted.
Thanks for reading. Please let me know if I need to edit some parts. Please share and join this group. - Valentino Zubiri, Dollman, artist & memoirist

18 years ago I dated a drop kick who thought he would be entitled to half of everything I had. We briefly lived in an apartment my parents owned. He took out a lien on it citing that he was dating my mother and that her name was my legal name (because I have a legal name and a name I prefer to use due to language)
I explained to the barrister at the time this was incorrect. But he said it's already done and on the CT
My parents went to discharge the mortgage on it this week and discovered they couldn't until this was resolved. In the meantime they have engaged the original barrister and he's laid out for them how to get it removed at a cost of over $1000. And they paid him to do it
And now they expect me to pay.
Is there anything I can do?
Oh and the drop kick at the top of this story moved to Australia and died from a drug OD.

I have had a mortgage application approved and I was about to exchange contracts but a very good job offer came up (+50% salary). I am planning to pull out of the purchase as the job needs me to relocate but most of my funds are in a LISA, so in order to fund my relocation I would have to use my savings and take out a personal loan.
Will that negatively affect my credit score?

Hi! Would love to get opinions from this sub. I'm trying to figure out if I should splurge a little bit and get an apartment that is $3,000/mo.
Some context:

• I make around $150,000/yr (not including bonus)
• Monthly take-home after taxes, insurance, and 401k contribution is $8,500~
• My expenses (minus rent) are around $1,000/mo (groceries + car insurance mostly)
• I have $40k~ cash and another $65k in investments (mostly index funds)
• Student loans are < $10k and payments start this month
• No credit card debt
• Live in HCOL city (think Seattle / San Francisco / San Diego / New York)
• There are no significant purchases coming up

My fiancé isn't working right now, but will begin in the next year (she has to finish a year-long credential program). Her salary will be around 60-70k/yr when she starts. She'll probably work part-time this year, but trying not to depend on that.
$3,000 is 35%~ of my take-home. Is it okay to splurge a little bit to get the place we really want? I wanted to keep our apartment under 30% of our monthly take-home so we can continue saving for a down-payment on a house, but I'm having a hard time finding places < $3k/mo that we really like.
Would appreciate thoughts/opinions! Thank you!

I'm looking into the whole 'buying a house for the first time' and even though I'm getting $25 per hour at my job, it's impossible for me to get a 1 bedroom, 1 bath house. Extremely crazy prices for ugly houses. There was someone trying to sell a one-floor house that has one bedroom, one bathroom, living room, kitchen, laundry area, garage, a very small backyard for more than $800,000?????? Like what the fuck is up with that?
I even have a co-worker who only gets $20 per hour, which is way less than me, yet he's living in a two-floor house. I don't know how he's making money, but I seriously feel like he's in heavy debt.
Then, I would look at personalfinance and similar subreddits like that. Way too many people posting things like, "I'm in grave debt. Mortgage loans, car fees, etc."
I even asked someone that if I somehow make $30 an hour instead of $25, will I be able to afford a house? They said no. It's impossible.
Like why the in ever loving fuck are such very ugly, small houses so outrageously priced today? Are they trying to push people to just only live in condos, apartments, etc.?
I'm seriously thinking how in the world can some people who make way less money than me are living in a house. Is it the crazy amount of loans and credit cards they are using? Or what???
And also, I would like to add that I'm not just only making $25 per hour at my job. I even invest a portion of that each paycheck into the stock market, day trading, bonds, etc. Yet, even those aren't enough to afford a house without me getting into debt.
So, again, do people actually purposely get into debt to live in a house, especially if they have a family?

Hello,
We recently submitted my fiancée’s spouse visa application, but I’m a little bit worried because I have read that large unexplained payments into the account (other than salary payments) can be a reason for rejection.
On the statements we provided there is payment (maybe 2) of around £2800 which I sent from my other account which my student loan payments are paid into. The statement shows the payment as My Name and then the reference which is just the name of the receiving bank. Are we likely to be rejected for this reason?? 😢
Thanks!

Hi y’all. I’m 32 and I’m thinking of going back to school for nursing. I have a 1 yo, mortgage so going full time sounds a bit daunting. Are there any adults here in their 30s that went back to school for this? Did you go to school FT or PT? My husband’s salary isn’t enough to sustain our lifestyle without me working as well. Did you guys just go to school FT and worked PT? Any advice or stories are going to be fully appreciated.

Hello everyone!
I originally posted about hitting $3.2M (post here) and it blew up back then.
2 years have passed since my last major update and I’ve received a number of requests for updates - so I figure why not?
Back in early/mid 2021 I reached $3.2M in net worth. Now - even with all the craziness of the past couple years - I’ve hit $6M.
In many ways, this is perhaps an observation of what happens the first two years after you hit the first two years of wealth - as I think it takes that much time to start to adjust to your life a little bit. I wrote a little more about work than other areas because it's been such a crazy two years in tech - but amidst all the noise, the signal of my FATFIRE plans remains essentially the same. : )
Anyway, thanks for bearing with me - it was actually deeply cathartic / therapeutic to write this all down. Here we go! : )
​
— WORK —
* I work in tech, and like many of us who do - it’s been a rough couple of years. Our share price debuted at $40, shot up to $120 by end-2021 and then in 2022 crashed to as low as $25. It’s rebalanced at the moment at the $35-40 range, which I will take. To be honest, $120 was never real - just irrational exuberance - but neither was $25. But it’s meant a lot of volatility in wealth and our Board is breathing down our necks a bit. (And in case anyone was wondering - because of insider trading restrictions I couldn’t take advantage of the $120 prices lol.)
* Beyond the volatility in share prices, the fundamentals of the business remain strong but also have seen some fallout. Some of our revenue growth acceleration benefited via a 1-off boost from the pandemic and also from the blockchain / crypto hype wave at the same time. When those eased off, our revenue growth slowed.
* Like many in the industry, we went through our own wave of layoffs. We just did 1 big layoff (20%+) so we’d hopefully never have to repeat it again. I was part of the planning of the layoff and it was a pretty miserable 3 months. I had to choose who to layoff. I couldn’t talk about it with anyone on my team and had to keep up pretenses until we conducted the RIF. I had to conduct the layoffs for 12 people myself. And I had to pick up the pieces and hold the remaining team together and get us through it all. It’s been almost 4 months post-RIF for us, and we’re mostly back to normal. I just wish we had a little more joy and a little less fear these days, but I think joy is hard to find in tech these days.
* As an aside for those wondering about the layoffs, these things are never perfect - and never executed perfectly. We let everyone know via email in the early hours in the morning and deactivated their access to our systems immediately afterwards, which might seem cold. But given the scale and risk to customer data, there was no easy way to do it. We also tried very hard to be as generous as possible. We gave everyone impacted generous packages of 5 months’ severance with medical (we paid the individual contribution for COBRA). I followed up with everyone I personally chose for the layoff - and we offered them a chance to talk it through with me (to provide closure). About 80% did over time (and I would never force it) - 1 was irrationally angry, 1 cried and was super sad, but most were calm and understood. I also offered to personally help everyone who wanted it to get their next job, and have helped several of them. It was a hard time - and it SHOULD be hard. These are people’s lives and I feel that those who make these kinds of decisions should never be too divorced from the consequences of their decisions. It is very appropriate that I be exposed to someone who needs to scream and get angry because of a decision that I made. I probably write about this because it still weighs on me.
* Personally, I’ve done OK through it all. I run one of the parts of our business that works well and actually got promoted to Sr VP in 2022, so I’m seen as a bellwether for stability right now - although I’m conscious that today’s stability is tomorrow’s stagnation lol. We’ve also seen major changes in our leadership – 35-40% of the C-suite and VP layer is gone, including my own C-suite leader. I’ve only been here for 3 years, but I’m now the 4th most tenured VP in the company (out of 25 VPs) and also ranked #9 out of 1200 employees - I find the attention and pressure a little uncomfortable lol. I get along with my new boss - although I miss my old one.
* I think I have another year left in me - when I hit my 4 years of service (and my original grants vest), I’ll start to arrange for a thoughtful transition. RIght now, I need to do my part to keep things stable and create a new upward path - not just for the company but also for my team.
— HOME —
* In my last post, I wrote about wanting to upgrade from my 1.5 bedroom apartment to a single-family home here in San Francisco. So…. I did it! Probably the biggest flex I’ll ever do.
* In late 2021, I bought a 3br, 3bath house with a beautiful garden in the north slope of the Potrero HIll neighborhood of San Francisco for $2.5M. The market was very hot then, so I know I slightly overpaid for it, but also locked down a great interest rate 2.7% fixed rate.
* The house is a source of continuing joy for me : ). I have coffee in my garden, cook in my French farmhouse kitchen, etc. It’s been pricey but completely worth it for me, and I think I can afford it. Since I work from home, I spend a lot of time here and having a good home environment is important to me.* It’s admittedly a lot of house for a single guy and a cat lol. But it’s at least partially a promise to myself for the life that I want to have in the future. It’s a house that’s meant to be filled with people and life and love and laughter, and I'm committing myself to making that happen. : )
* I also sold my old apartment shortly afterwards. I broke even on the apartment - but I didn’t want so much SF real estate in my books and I was nervous about rising mortgage rates killing the market for SF apartments. (I sold just before the first rate hike.) There were also covenants / restrictions about renting in that building (they restricted the # of apartments that could be rented at any one time) - so selling was the only real option.
* Do I regret selling the apartment and not making a profit? Maybe a little, but not too much. I don’t view my real estate transactions as just financial investments - they’re also places for me to live and be. And also, I’m not looking to real estate as my major source of wealth generation at the moment - my net worth rose from $3.2M to $6M in this period, so I won’t sweat the small stuff. I’m generally a satisficer and not an optimizer at these things - but I readily admit to not being a real estate mogul in the making lol.
— PERSONAL —
* Still very very single lol. Dating around but nothing serious. (Also, dating sucks! Can’t wait to settle down….) And yes, I will use a prenup when I do settle down.
* My birthday gift to myself will be a hot tub for the garden lol.
* Beyond that and the house - I still don’t spend a ton on myself. For example, when flying personally, I’ll still just travel premium economy (domestic and international).
* I still support my family - my dad, my brother and my sisters - and happy to do so. Unfortunately, though, the situation with my brother became a bit complicated - I’ve given him $100K over 3 years for his kids’ schooling, but I think it’s gotten to be a bit too much and I had to lay some clearer guidelines. I think it’s fine now, though. Wrote more about it here - in the AITA forum.
* I joined the board of a non-profit focused on education and love it!
* Personal fitness - it’s been a rough couple of years, like conducting the layoffs. Need to pick this up again.
— INVESTMENTS —
* Share price drops have been compensated for by more shares vesting over to me over time. With the current price range, I get another $2M if I stay until April 2024. So I’ll stay until then and then trigger my thoughtful transition out.
* Broadly speaking, I feel my number is $7-8M. I feel like I can pay down my mortgage ($2M mortgage with 28 years remaining is a LOT of interest to pay, even at just 2.7%...) and live off the interest of the remaining balance of $5-6M. Post income and property tax and if I don’t have mortgage payments to make, I think having $7K/month as pure disposal income is a good / comfortable lifestyle, even in a VHCOL place like SF.
* 80% of my financial assets are still in my company’s shares. I’ll need to start thinking seriously about diversification soon. It just seemed like the past year was a terrible time to sell lol.
* I like my accountants. I’m not convinced about my financial advisors and will probably let them go soon.
— RETIREMENT PLANS —
* Still planning to retire at 44 (next year).
* I still plan on living here in SF. It’s where all my friends are. And it’s so pretty here. Personally, talk of the end of SF is really overstated by the press (and Elon Musk). It’s really just the downtown area that’s been deeply impacted. But few long-term residents live downtown.
* Major focus for my first year will be health and wellness and finding a partner to settle down with. I want my six pack abs back lol (I was a swimmer in high school lol).
* I expect to travel a little bit. Apart from staying with friends and family, I want to just live in Seville for a month in an airbnb, then move to Florence for a month, then Istanbul for a month.
* Afterwards, I’ll settle down to a quiet life here in SF.
* I expect to do more mission-driven work eventually. Whether it’s non-profit work, or things like climate-tech.
— LESSONS / OBSERVATIONS —
* Having friends who are in the same boat as me is really helpful. I have a couple friends who’ve already FATFIRED - and just being able to share with them and hang out with them has been really, really good. I don’t have to hold back.
* Conversely, I’ve decided to stop talking about my FATFIRE ambitions with other friends quite so much. Not because I’m being obnoxious (afaik) or that it makes them jealous - but I worry that it distorts their own aspirations for their lives. I have twenty-something friends who are talking about trying to retire at 35 now – and while I think it’s admirable, I’m unsure how realistic it is for them. TBH, I lucked into this and never explicitly planned for it - I was planning to work until my 50s or 60s. I worry that I’m causing friends to think they need to keep up with the joneses in unrealistic and potentially unhealthy ways. Anyway, something I’ll have to think about more.
* One year left to grind - I can do it!
* $5M observation / dilemma from Succession is real lol.
* Lifestyle creep happens… I try to guard against it but I do spend a lot of time looking at second homes (in Lisbon, Hawaii, etc.) and then have to scale back my ambitions lol.
* Still not sure about financial advisors.
* Kindness married with intelligence, humility and work ethic remains the key to my success - such as it is.

I am very glad I found this subreddit. I have a lot of student debt as follows:

1. Loan from Undergrad (graduated in 2006), ~$7.5 K remaining. Navient. Loan has been moved from servicer to servicer a few times. I am paying this loan down steadily. Payments were NOT suspended over the past 3 years reasons I don't fully understand. I am NOT very concerned about this loan and fully expect to pay it off in a few years.
2. Consolidated loan (originally $120K, not over $200) from law school. Worried about this one. I think I am on REPAYE. Was with Access Group, then FedLoan, now Ed Financial. I made IBR payments from 2011 - 2020, then have not made payments yet due to the loan repayment pause.

I regret going to law school and taking out loan # 2, but can't do anything about that now. I am married with 2 kids and my wife and I collectively make around $85 - $90K. Housing costs and life in general is expensive, so I can't really repay loan #2.
I called Ed Financial a few months ago, they took my family size, and said my monthly payment would be around $240. Fairly reasonable, but I will never pay it off and can't afford to pay more.
When will IDR forgiveness kick in? 20 years, including the 3 year pause? In 7 years?
If Biden's loan forgiveness went through, which loan would it apply to?
I anticipate I will have as much as $300K cancelled. I probably cannot pay the tax on that, if the tax bomb exists at the time, so that is a separate issue. Trying to save for the tax "bomb" but not sure if I will save enough.
I have been sort of ignoring this for the past 3 years but need to start taking it seriously again and was curious what your thoughts are.
​
PS. My experience, with youthful naivete about the value of a law degree, will definitely direct how I guide my children. I am not going to say "don't go to college" but am going to strongly caution them about going into debt and being realistic about what a degree is worth.

My husband is an alcoholic. He relapsed last October and came to me begging for help to get sober again. His reaction to his relapse seemed so genuine so I decided to help him and he had been sober ever since then. He has a sponsor, he goes to meetings 4 times per week, he has been very open with communication in terms of his needs along this path. This weekend he went on a trip with some coworkers a few hours away to go see a band they really enjoy. My husband and I had clear communication with his plan to be in a bar environment. He told me he was going to be open about his sobriety to his friends. He told me that he knows he can't have just one beer, that he knows I'll leave him this time, and that he doesn't want to look his sponsor in the face and tell him he relapsed. Well, last night he did in fact relapse. I found out this morning because he normally texts me frequently but he wasn't responding to my texts or phone calls. Once I started calling repeatedly, he would only text me. I finally got him on the phone and you could clearly hear that he was drunk. Before I could say anything, he said he was on his way home and he wanted to talk to me. I told him that I can clearly tell he's drunk and that I don't want to talk to him. I told him our marriage is over and he needs to find somewhere else to stay. He hung up on me. This is the 8th time in 6 years he has relapsed. I know, I know, I shouldn't have stayed but here we are. I'm finally ready. We have 2 kids together. A 12 year old that is mine but he adopted and a 4 year old that's both of ours. We have a house that I'm on the deed but not the mortgage, where he is on both. He has the car loans, utilities, phones, credit cards, and everything else in his name. I have been a SAHM for 5 years and am currently a full time student. What are the steps that I need to take to make the smartest decisions here for myself and my kids? How do I not end up homeless, without a car, without a phone, with no money, etc. How do I get over my guilt for my kids and my fears that I can't protect them emotionally at his house and I'm not there. How do I even pay for a lawyer or find a good lawyer? His mom is crazy rich so I know she will find the best and most expensive lawyer possible because she's mad that I won't work it out with my husband.
TLDR; Husband relapsed. I'm calling it quits. Need advice on how to navigate a divorce.

[cw: contains allusion to a horrible wrongdoing. But I hope readers can eschew giving me the judgement I certainly deserve, and focus on how to save my rs with her]
TL;DR I did a horrible thing in the middle of a period of a fight. And the thing is really horrible and tearing us apart. But we had an expensive trip planned to happen soon, so she says she will go on the vacation but then break things off later. Help?
I (28M) am doing a PhD in Europe and my long-distance relationship (LDR) girlfriend (29F) is working in Asia. We've been on LDR since September 2022, and it's been rough with the physical distance and especially the time zone difference. We've been together since late-2016.
We had this trip planned far in advance, for mid-June 2023 (which is this month), in which she would come to Europe and this would be our first reunion in 9 months. I was planning to even propose to her. Was totally looking forward to it.
Unfortunately, since a couple of weeks ago we'd been having long drawn debates about whether I should apply for jobs globally after the PhD, and look for the best offer (my view), whereas she believes I should just return to Asia no matter what because (1) she cannot see herself working abroad (because our home economy is indeed doing better in salary and taxes) and (2) with her staying put in our home country, she cannot stand the idea of me being overseas even longer, after the PhD.
Anyway, that's only the setting stage for our current huge problem, which only set a sour tone and didn't allow us to be close when this 'bomb' dropped on us (my fault totally, this 'bomb').
So... To preserve her dignity and mine, I won't go into details of what this 'bomb' was, but she made a shocking discovery about me and feels betrayed as it's the second time I've relapsed into this problem and there's a massive breakage of trust, understandably.
Discussing this 'bomb' issue would take an entire dedicated post, but for now it's enough to know I F-ed up and have her finding it difficult for her to see us to staying together.
Now, there are some anchor points kinda forcing her to still talk to me somewhat. (1) We already purchased a home together back home, and it's a sunk cost and we'll have to pay mortgage soon, and forfeiting this home is a big issue and not straightforward and we will be penalized. So she's unsure of how to progress as she thinks she doesn't want to live with me or have a future with me anymore. And even requested that I turn over my stake to the home to her so she can appoint a new partner in the future to share the home. (2) she already bought those expensive flight tickets, hotel bookings, etc. for our mid-June Europe trip. So, she's unsure of whether to come. But even if she does, she's thinking of just doing the vacation in Europe with minimal contact with me and not sleeping in the same room, and then insisting that after the trip as she returns home we'll go our separate ways. And said that if I insisted on contacting her she'd block me.
I'm absolutely devastated about all this. I have been battling mental health issues and major work woes for the past couple weeks, also quarreled with my GF, and then now this 'bomb' discovery surfaced and broke us even further apart.
If there's any chance anyone here reading has any experience remotely similar to being in my shoes. Or hers. I would really appreciate hearing from you.
I'm dreading that she won't come visit after all. I'm also dreading that she'll come for the 2-week vacation just to make use of the sunk cost, and then dump me after she returns home like she's repeatedly been saying she'll do (because of her disappointment over my wrongdoing). That said, there are some signs of hope, like her not telling other people about this shameful wrongdoing I've done (e.g. her dad would kill me if he found out), and also her still caring enough to tell me that I should not get so caught up in our 'bomb' problem that I neglect my already strained relationship with my PhD advisors.
What could I possibly do to win her back in a winsome, sincere way that demonstrates I'm contrite and determined to not repeat the 'bomb' mistake ever again?

Hi folks,
I think we have a few options but would like to pick your collective brains as to which is the most optimum option.
The different options we are considering so far: 1. Personal loan for the full amount. 2. Utilising 0% credit cards for part and using a personal loan to make up any difference. 3. Adding it onto our mortgage.
Is there anything we need to be mindful of or other options that we may not have considered?
For what it is worth, the money isn't to purchase a car - I know how much of a contentious subject that is within the sub.
Thank you in advance for your time and consideration.

Hi everyone. So this is about my own parents. So in 2021 our old landlords evicted us because “they wanted to move into the house” they didnt and rented it for double the price. Anyways so since my parents had a second house and we exhausted out efforts to find a place within budget they offered us to live in the first house. First 6 months was free to get us back on our feet and then wed pay rent. Originally they wanted $700 plus power but we negotiated to $1000 including power because they didnt want to change it from their name anyways. Power was only $150 a month so a deal for them. The other deal was anything we broke we replaced. Oh and my husbands mother wasn’t allowed on property due to some bad blood. Everything was fine til they suddenly raised rent to $1000 plus power. Ok. Not terrible but we can manage. Recently my parents stopped by for a surprise visit. And now my mother in tarring into me for not wiping my kids fingerprints off stuff, not dusting, and not sweeping. Ill be honest that the first two we dont do as much as we should. But the sweeping we do constantly as both my kids are autistic with learning disabilities and don’t understand when we try to tell them not to throw food on the floor. Everything else was perfect, dishes done, no clutter on the floor, etc. we replaced their 10 year old coffee machine that suddenly broke, bot our fault but whatever. Their 33 year old well pump broke, they did replace that themselves because they knew it was old. Then their lawn mower battery died, shocker because it was also old. Were waiting til payday to afford to get a new one and theyre upset about us “never replacing anything.” We have the option to buy the house whenever we can quilify for a mortgage and we plan to. But theyre being so…idk. .. am I actually the entitled parent? Because theyre now saying i am.

I'm a senior in undergrad right now and I'm super stressed out. I originally majored in psychology but was scared out of it. I went to a required meeting for students majoring in psych and the lady running the meeting basically said we weren't gonna make any money in the field unless we went for BCBA. And then I had a friend who constantly told me that I wasn't gonna make any money as a therapist. So, I went on the search for something else that interested me and I landed on speech language pathology. I chose it because the average salary is good, I don't mind getting a master's, and I naively viewed it as an easy job. And it's not, obviously. And i'm not passionate about it and all of my classmates are so into it. I'm not good at retaining knowledge if something doesn't really interest me, and I feel like all the information from every class i've taken related to speech has flew out of my brain. I'm in my capstone course for the major right now and I feel like I don't belong in the class because I barely know anything.
So, I've been looking into BCBA and I thought it was a great alternative until I realized it's a controversial field. I asked my brother who is autistic about it and he said that he doesn't believe it's ethical. I know it's a complicated topic (and no hate to anyone who is a BCBA!!!) but I would feel like i'm doing a disservice to my brother.
So, this was all compiled very poorly but I guess I'm just posting this to see if anyone has suggestions on what I should look into. I'm very interested in helping people with issues whether it be mental health or disability related. I don't want to work in the medical field. I wouldn't mind working with children, adults, or both. I'd prefer to have a job that's more independent but I don't mind working with others. I want an above average salary (like everybody else...). I don't know I'm just really lost. Any advice would be appreciated.

My husband and I are buying a house in Ohio. He will be the only one on the loan (VA). Pre-approved through USAA.
We’ve reached out to the originator, but haven’t heard back yet so I thought maybe I’d ask here while we wait.
In April 2022 he took out a personal loan, but I make the payments. We have separate checking accounts. I’ve made every payment for over a year, 14 payments total.
Is it possible to have this loan payment removed from his DTI calculation?