Why isn't butter kosher

i've never played a character using magic in S&S1, only miracles, which obviously work different. this character i made now isn't actually a magic build, but he's supposed to use SOME magic in addition to other stuff because of the character he depicts (cosplay). i've skilled some magic, but can't even use the scrimshaw cane yet? why is that?

So I was on 10mg of citalopram for a few weeks had Zero side effects which was good I went up to 20mg about 3-4 weeks ago had zero side effects again but recently I've been getting sleep disturbances and waking up super sweaty and absolutely no clue why wondering if this is some kind of late reaction to side effects of the citalopram.. but then again isn't it usually in the first week or so

The smiling eldest brother has rarely opened the lid that covers what's boiling inside, but we know enough about his childhood to understand it was difficult.
Some of the tidbits we got are: an interest in politics since a very young age, but also a very absent Logan, often busy on work calls, something for which Connor is still resentful. We also know that Con spent 3 years without seeing his dad, probably when he stayed with his mom, when she was sent to a mental institution. I think we're not sure if she was really mentally ill, became ill because of Logan, or was just sent there because he wanted her to f off. We also know that later on, Connor was often in a position to "replace" Logan for his younger siblings, taking them to fishing trips etc, something he didn't have someone for. There could even be a history of Mo Lestation but who knows?
Today, under that eccentric and often-smiling façade, we see a man who's bought his way into love, and who displays the levels of delusion someone with very low confidence and self-esteem would show. He was also, at some point, so removed from Waystar Royco ambitions that, while his brothers were discussing taking over the company, he was more concerned with the temperature of butter at a charity event. And speaking of brothers, I'm guessing that he's been the punching bag of the three siblings for years (who maybe diverted some of the Logan resentment towards bullying and making fun of Con) given how he gets so easily offended at any small joke or jab they make at his expense.
So while I'm happy he's getting married and generating enough political noise to the point where he's now at 1% in Presidential polls and there are now Con-heads supporting him, and I've enjoyed his business/political appetite growing over the seasons, maybe thanks to a confidence boost now that he's in a stable relationship, it's evident there's a lot of pain under that lid.
There's a phrase Logan has, about the past being made up, and only the future being real. I see that as a way to avoid looking in the rear-view mirror, his own (Uncle Noah, scars on his back, Rose, general uneasiness back in Dundee...) but also his children's, which is why he almost never talks about their childhood and how he interacted with them. It sometimes feels like Connor thinks the same about the past. He sometimes mentions it quickly but it looks like he doesn't confront it.
So one of my realistic wishes for the character this season is to not just be the lighten-the-mood character who offers breathing spaces during the episodes, between all the tension and drama, or a character that really serves as a window to the other children's past. I would love for him a direct confrontation with Logan, or at least a cathartic moment about everything he carries with him. It would also be great for Alan Ruck to get that opportunity after his exceptional work these three seasons, just get to offer something different as an actor.
One of my theories, or simple wishful thinking, is that Logan asks him to back down from the race in favour of Mencken, this could lead to a Connor explosive moment ("now that I FINALLY got something real going on, you also want to take that away from me")

While I stand behind the idea that it's exceptionally foolish to talk authoritatively about balance yet considering we're only experiencing up to level 25 and not seeing pretty much anything resembling the end-game, I think it's fair to say that Earth magic Druid has some foundational issues that I'm not sure end-game would be able to provide solutions for - my feedback to improve it:
Earth Spike

• Thoughts: It feels very anemic in general. Low damage wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't paired with the low spirit gain on use and the low RNG of the 10% to stun. When it does stun it actually feels decent, and it's clear that the other Earth spells are built on the idea that you're getting stuns, immobilizes, and/or knockdowns relatively often. Unfortunately, unless you spam attack speed you're not getting those stuns all that often, which makes the whole skill just feel bad and its upgrades even worse.
• Suggestion(s):
  • Change the 10% chance to stun to a stun every 3-5 casts. Can reduce the stun length to make up for it, perhaps to 1.5, but something more consistent and reliable would go a long way to making the skill feel and work better. Alternatively, move the stun % chance to the skill itself and let investing skill points there increase the % chance to stun (up to 20% or 25% maybe? 30%? Testing would determine a good, tuned number). A more consistent stun can also excuse the anemic damage and low spirit gain, particularly with the bonuses it provides other Earth spells (such as Terramotes with Landslide) and the fact a more consistent stun lets you enjoy its upgrade perks more often. Having built an attack speed setup I found Earth Spike was fairly decent when it was able to proc the stun and get the double-spikes or let you stack fortify, almost making up for its deficiencies. However, it meant having to focus on attack speed just to get it to an "okay" state, and that's something seemingly most other skills don't have to worry about just to be useful and possibly worth taking.

Landslide

• Thoughts: This spell is a Earth magic Druid's primary damage dealer, and generally is okay. Particularly if and when you can get stuns for one of its two upgrade perks it can feel like a decent choice. The biggest problems are: 1. The delay in its cast effect working, which means you can miss (particularly if you cast it on something rushing at you fast enough); 2. Being reliant on stuns largely from Earth Spike or Immobilize from its own "cast this 4 times to get an effect" means you struggle to justify spending the skill points on it.
• Suggestion(s):
  • Really minor, particularly if the above Earth Spike suggestion is implemented. Mostly, change the delay or tracking so that it is harder to miss. With those two solutions implemented, it's more consistent and reliable to get stuns to proc either of Landslide's upgrade perks, making the skill feel better to take and use. It already does good damage.

Earthen Bulwark

• Thoughts: Obviously an Earth magic Druid's main protective spell. Unfortunately, it also kind of becomes their main AOE if you take the AOE explosion perk or a mediocre source of Fortify if you take the other one. The barrier isn't terrible, but compared to other classes' options for defensive skill barriers or other options in the Druid tree it isn't great either.
• Suggestion(s):
  • Add a passive to the skill with some rocks orbiting the Druid, providing damage reduction and possibly damaging enemies or providing a small % chance to stun enemies that come into contact with it. Kind of copying the other nature magic defensive, Cyclone Armor, obviously. But would help make it more unique and a potentially appealing alternative to the other Druid defensive skills. I like this suggestion the most, and feel like it'd give great flavor and contrast to Cyclone Armor. It also lets the upgrade perks stay as they are, effectively, and tweak the "active" use of the skill between being an explosive AOE or it "layering" onto your character to give them more protection (Fortify).
  • Or: Decrease cooldown, or add something to the base skill that provides an opportunity to decrease the cooldown (e.g., every stun or immobilize reduces the cooldown by 1s). This also boosts either of the upgrade perks, allowing a Druid to use Earthen Bulwark's AOE more often or boost more fortify.
  • Or: Increase the barrier strength, and/or add a way to increase the barrier strength and duration, using other Druid and/or Earth magic skills. Stealing the other perk that Ice Armor provides obviously, but this might help Earthen Bulwark be a bit more worth taking.

Boulder

• Thoughts: Boulder is okay. It's hilarious to roll it into enemies and see them caught up and carried along it. Being stuck as a line and being an Earth magic Druid's only other AOE feels bad, though, considering how narrow the effect is and that it just rolls right through enemies that it can't "grab" and carry along.
• Suggestion(s):
  • Increase the width of the boulder and its effect. That's the primary fix that would make this feel skill good. Another 20-30% at least.
  • Let it shatter to do more damage against enemies it can't bowl over and carry with it - such as bosses. At the moment it just rolls through them, and you lose the benefit of any of the other effects.

Petrify

• Thoughts: It's an Ultimate, and with an effect only lasting 3-4 seconds it's not worth the 60s cooldown. However, that's a problem with seemingly all Ultimates. I agree with people who are calling for a separate additional skill slot specifically for an Ultimate skill, and feel like only then would it be worthwhile to evaluate Petrify better. That's basically the same problem every Ultimate suffers from - why take one when you can take a normal skill that doesn't have ~60s worth of cooldown on it?

My 2 cents, anyway, trying to resolve what I think are the foundational issues for Druid's Earth Magic skills. Would be particularly interested in Closed Beta testers' input on what Druid is like in the end-game.

Thoughts:

• I really like Min, she's great. It's nice to see the contrast between all these magical individuals and Min, who has basically no magical ability and has to deal with everything. It would be awful having the visions, but she copes with it, I just wish she had more development. At the point in the books I am at, both of the other girls have had so much more of it than her, and I just hope she has a bit more screen time.
  
• She didn't do much for me in the first few books, but Siuan is my new favourite character. Her arc of "woman literally too angry to die" is incredible and seeing her as not Amyrlin humanizes her a lot, especially as I do feel the coup was a bit out of nowhere. I am very sad that she doesn't get a happy ending but she's one of the key reasons I'm keeping on with the series, it's great.
  
• Unrelated to the plot but Logain's name and character just makes me think of the "I had a severe and continuous lapse in judgement" apology from Logan Paul.
  
• It's two books back, but the way Amathera was treated was just mean :( She'd spent weeks being tortured, only got her job due to big boobs and Elayne basically makes a mockery of her. Having the mindset of 99% of nobility is hardly a crime, neither is trying to run off to get guards to help them, and the way she gets manhandled isn't much better than the torture tbh. I hope she's in the later books and gets to do something because she seems nice.
  
• The sniping in the girls chapters between the three Accepted is painful by the end of book 5. They are just so mean that it makes it hard to read. Min as always is an angel, but Aviendha is if anything even worse. The way everyone is treated by them is woeful, and I really wish they'd get some kind of comeuppance, but their higher-ups with the exception of Moiraine do it too. It's really hard to read and please tell me it ends soon because it makes their chapters a slog.
  
• Poor Mat, most relatable character just wanting to run away and being unable to. Also from my reading the wiki, damn he really isn't unable to. I actually like his chapters better than Rand, probably because he's a lot more grounded. (I think I might have a trend of liking less magical characters)
  
• I was so glad that Perrin got married, he's a wholesome lad and Faile is a nice lady. It was good to see the Two Rivers again.
  
• I am genuinely shook that Moiraine and Tam are still alive. Maybe it's just reading lots of modern stuff but it's almost expected that the mentor characters die once their utility is ended, but nope they're fine! And I like that, they're interesting characters. Also, I did not expect Moiraine to canonically be a bottom lmao
  
• Be'lal walking up to Moiraine casual as you like and being one-shot so hard he ceased to exist is the funniest moment in the entire series so far, it's the book equivalent of the Indiana Jones scene with the guy with the sword and I love it. On that note...
  
• Can someone explain why the Forsaken don't just kill them? I get that LanfeaCyndane wants mad pipe but the amount of playing with their food seems ridiculous, just kill them. Is the Dark One not really in control of them?
  
• Does Aludra get a fucking cannon? I refused to read her wiki page further because I didn't want spoilers but I'm 100% sure I saw an actual, 1600's era cannon in the background.
  
• Is the series going to bait and switch as a post-apocalyptic thing? The Aiel flashbacks certainly showed cars and planes, was it really that advanced before the Breaking?
  
• Advice on what to expect for the next few books? Series right now seems like it could wrap up with one or two more books, but I know there's' really 9 more. Are they worth reading, does good interesting stuff happen, or should I skip some?
  

Hi aro Reddit! So, here's the thing. I'm very repulsed by romance, both involving me and when I see others being romantic. There are very few romances that don't make me feel cringe or other negative emotions, and those very few are fictional. IRL, I find romance very unpleasant to witness and I can't really place why. We're talking seeing couples holding hands irks me. I'm afraid I might be projecting this negativity into my friends who are in romantic relationships. I don't like being judgemental, but when I see two of my friends who are a couple doing random kisses (like just a peck they aren't making out in front of me or anything), or random huggy/cuddly "cutesy" stuff I can't help but feel irritated. It's not just two specific friends either, it's any of my friends who are couples.
To top it off, I'm in a very long term (10 years) QPR-esque relationship with an alloromantic, who thankfully accepts me as I am, though would probably like to be able to express their romantic feelings without being met with negativity...
Can anyone relate? Is there a certain way I can try to reframe romance in my mind so I can be less judgemental of people who like it? Currently I think romance and visible romantic gestures seem forced, cheesy, codependent, and sometimes gross (kissing). It's also kind of creepy-weird how people can be a certain way as I know them, then be next to their partner and suddenly act like a totally different person (like someone who's kinda serious suddenly doing cheesy romance stuff feels weird to me).
Kind of unrelated, but as an aromantic person with a partner, nothing bothers me more than when people (usually my mother, who knows I'm aromantic) insinuate we're being romantic. Like "I'm going out to dinner with X" and they'll comment about "how romantic" it is or about "you two getting some alone time" and I HATE this insinuation and it makes me actively want to spend less time with my partner in protest, which isn't fair to them, but you know.
This post kind of turned into a bit of rambling if anyone reads and has any discussion to add, tips, opinions that'd be neat!

Like deadass I know this is pretty self explanatory but I have seen so many people call darkie racist. It amazes me that they also refuse to debate it and listen to his philosophy. They try to be offended for people when that isn't how it works.
I can count the amount of actual poc who complain about him on my fingers. Just the ignorance they have pisses me off especially because my poor ass has been accused of trying be black cause of how I was raised. Like dawg that right there is racism, I've talked before about how we connect to much to race. But seriously why do people correlate black people and the way they act to being poor.
It genuinely pisses me off how many stigmas there are to being a certain race. Like wtf so because I don't act like some suburban prick I'm trying to be black. Idk if rants like this are allowed on here but I just wanted to talk about it. Also there are so many homophobes using darkie audios to spread hate. That pisses me off so much, like how dare you use such an amazing persons brand to spread your filth.
If you read all of this thank you and I hope you have a good rest of your week. Much love from a friendly dumbass

So the other night I had a dream that really stuck with me. I'm not exactly sure what contextually happened in this dream, but at some point or another I ended up hugging my father, except my father was someone else entirely. It felt comforting and relieving, it was something hard to put into words. Afterwards I was woken up my my actual dad and he was angry that I was sleeping in so late. After he left my room, I remembered my dream about hugging this "other" dad and I cried. I don't know exactly why, but it was just my first response. Throughout the day my mind would come back to this dream and I'd start tearing up. Me and my dad's relationship isn't necessary amazing. It's kind of like we're just 2 acquaintances who resent eachother and live in the same house. Anyways, my goal with this post is to just get opinions on why I had this type of dream. Do I yearn for this experience? Why was my dad a different person? Etc.

(disclamer) some opinions here are very not okay and should not be taken into account for your own choices.
i feel like im going crazy, idk. i feel like im drastically different from everyone around me and i feel like i see the world on a different way than normal people. some people seem just so mean to eachother and i cant see why anyone would get so angry at someone else. you all might think im just stupid but i really cant see a reason to get angry at someone else to the point where id want to hit them. im too nice to everyone around me as well and i think its weird because people dont usually treat other people like people, i think they perfer to treat them like npcs or something. I just feel so alone with this state of mind like nobody else thinks even remotely similar to me and the lonelyness is driving me crazy. i just feel so alone when im with people, which sounds ironic but it also makes sense in this context.
(continued a few hours later) i feel so sad all the time because i know nobody can relate to me and give me any advice or motovation to want to keep living like this. this sounds outrageous and selfish but i want to leave this world because i believe things will be better off where i end up afterwards. its strange to talk about ending your own life, people say things like, "this isnt your time yet" or "there is always hope for you" or something along those lines but i think they are full of crap. this sounds REALLY STUPID but in my perspecive ending your life would be a really nice feeling, to not have to worry about this life and only think about what could come next would be one of the best feelings ever felt. though i sound really selfish and the mods probably dont like me promoting/encorouging suicide but i truely honestly think that suicide is a good option to escape from some of your biggest life problems.
just so i dont get like warned or banned, suicide isnt always the best option and there are many better ways you can solve your bigger problems. if you are thinking about suicide, talk to someone about it, especially someone close because they will comfort you a lot more than a therapist would.
sorry about the bad grammar.

TLDR at the bottom
This was mainly made for the armada discord communties who more likely know who I am than all of you here but I thought it might still be a good thing to spread around. (You here might know me best from my Pride Flag separatist ships)
Hi everyone just want to clear the air on something that's on my mind. The words below are not directed at anyone in particular nor should anyone feel the need to defend themselves or others as it's not my intention for this to sound like and attack nor accusation.
For those who have seen me at adepticon I'm sure you have noticed the sheer amount of pride icons plus the big flag on me. I expect to some this feels very in your face, loud or over doing it. Potentially awkward or uncomfortable for some who may think I'm bringing extra attention to something they'd rather not experience in their gaming space escapism. Your feelings are your own and valid I do not expect to change your mind nor do I want to make people feel they have to interact with me. I am however writing this to clear up why I am dressed up as I have been the last two days. Yes I certainly enjoy it for my own happiness and confidence boost but another very important reason to me is to show other people around me who are potentially in the LGBTQ+ that others like them are here and exist around them. I've been to many public events and seeing anyone with pride gear has given me not only joy but also reassurance that this person feels this area is safe enough to be comfortably wearing their pride. So part of my loud outfits are to hopefully help anyone else feel that who could need it.
I am very much aware that I am potentially the first trans person some interact with or that I most certainly act very differently than some others that one might already know. It's awkward, new, different whatever but my goal isn't to cause these feelings. My desired purpose here is not to be a nuisance or upset anyone and I encourage those who think that it is to ignore me if needed for you to enjoy your time in this community. But to others please note my clarification to my purpose.
Thank you to everyone who has been gendering me as she/her at adepticon it means alot. And thanks for reading this statementish thing.
TLDR: I don't wear pride flags or dress up with the purpose of potentially upsetting others who might think it's too in your face/loud. I do it to make me happy and to potentially let others under the pride umbrella know that they aren't alone and someone like me feels safe and comfortable enough be visible in this space.

today i setup jellyfin10.8.9( on windows basic install) and when I tried to connect to the server form a different device it didn't work and I don't know why everything looks right and the server is running I also tired to follow a guide and also tired to connect from like 5 deferent devices didn't connect on any of them please help (sorry English isn't my main language and I am pretty bad at network stuff)

So I am in bronze elo which isn't the greatest place to be in, but not surrendering makes things so much worse.
For example last night. Our team has like 3 kills while enemy has gotten 20, enemy got all drakes, our midlaner has disconnected for a while and the entire team is just flaming.
Yet people just refuse to surrender and keep on dragging this miserable game. Why is it?

Hello! I recently made a post on the main Socionics reddit regarding my confusing between IEE and EIE. https://www.reddit.com/Socionics/comments/11xagi1/studying_socionics_confused_between_eie_and_iee/
I learned a lot from that thread and my conversations with others, and feel like I have a better grasp on the system. In order to not fill up the Socionics reddit with more type confusion stuff, I wanted to follow-up on here to see if someone would help me and continue probing me for questions/info about my type! I have a hard time seeing myself as myself without direct feedback from others, so I've hit a snag in terms of my thinking and research.
I attached parts of the questionnaire as well below, I tried to keep the answers brief since there's so many.
##Section 1
**1. How do you work? Why do people go to work? Are there any parameters that determine whether you can do work or not? What are they?*\*
I work in bursts, I have a hard time doing work unless its meaningful to me or benefits others in a way I can see. I think a lot of people go to work just to survive, not necessarily because they enjoy it. That's a system issue which I could go into, but for the sake of this questionnaire, I won't. I think the world would be better if people worked on what they were passionate about and enjoyed and could make a comfortable salary. When I don't agree with the morals/ethics of the work I'm doing, feel it is menial or detrimental to society, I tend to not want to work. Especially if I'm being ordered around. I usually like making my own decisions and being the leader. I'm indecisive, but can be decisive when it comes to figuring out what's best for others. I have a hard time working for myself. I have so many ideas that I'd like to launch and people have told me I have so much potential...but its hard for me to activate it and get going, because I just don't see myself as being that valuable as the wellbeing of others.
**2. How do you determine the quality of work? How do you determine the quality of a purchase? Do you pay any attention to it?*\*
Quality of work depends on the result. If the result is good, I feel it's okay even if the way it was completed was not "following procedure." Quality of purchase I usually determine by doing research on product and what others are saying. I usually like to get the best product I can even if its something small/not used often. I play a lot of attention to that, also along to how the product makes me feel.
**3. There is a professional next to you. How do you know they are a professional? How do you evaluate their skill?*\*
Usually based on their status or how other people perceive them. I can be a bit indifferent to a professional, I see people as pretty much equal regardless of their social status/standing. Usually I think there's too much hype around them and sometimes I won't really agree with societies perception if my understanding/experience differs.
**4. If you struggle to do something, how do you fix that? Do you know if your performance is better or worse than others?*\*
Usually I research or ask others. A lot of times I get stuck on my own in tasks related to myself. Like trying to understand myself. Usually once I talk to someone else I can get a better understanding of what I'm doing wrong and everything clicks. I used to play games competitively and would constantly make the same errors, unable to realizing them myself. Someone would point it out and change my thinking/approach and then I would be able to improve myself as if a weight was lifted. Usually I compare my performance to my past self, I'm most in competition with myself but I also compete against others in private. I want to outdo others, but I'm not cutthroat about it.
**5. How do you measure the success of a job? What standard do you use? Do you pay attention to it? When should you deviate from this standard?*\*
This is kind of hard for me to answer, I don't focus on the things in this section that much. Usually success for me means not failing or reaching the standard. I seem to prioritize avoiding failure more-so than reaching for success. Failure as in running out of town, losing out, making a fatal error...etc.
**Meta-analysis:*\*
This whole section is hard to answer, I don't really focus on it. Or well I only do when the need arises, it feels like I need to switch myself over to think about these things, but I'd much rather be invested in other more positive things and not think too much about this. It feels very business like, which I am able to do, but I do these things to achieve the goal of positive change in the world or helping others, reaching my vision.
​
##Section 2
**1. What is a whole? Can you identify its parts? Are the parts equivalent to the whole?*\*
I don't really know??? I think something is whole when it's fully fulfilled? I can identify the parts perhaps, but I don't know if they're equivalent? They're only equivalent if the whole is meaningful as well? Hard for me to answer this one.
**2. What does "logical" mean? What is your understanding? Do you think that it correlates with the common view? How do you know you are being logical?*\*
Logical to me is about consistency. I don't know if I'm logical or not, but I strive to be when it is needed. I don't really know how to tell, but perhaps I would say I'm being logical if I'm being consistent in my thoughts/methods. To follow-up, I think I can change myself to be almost anything depending on what is needed, but not for long. I think a lot of people feel they are more logical than they really are, especially people who try to remove emotions from the nature of things all together.
**3. What is hierarchy? Give examples of hierarchies. Do you need to follow it? Why or why not? Explain how hierarchy is used in a system you are familiar with.*\*
Basically things that have status over others. I play/love video games so one of my first thoughts are tier lists, they place certain characters in higher positions due to being innately stronger by whatever criteria is relevant to the game. I never really agreed with this because how can we say something is ALWAYS better than the other? For instance, a person can get really good at a specific characteplaystyle and dominate everyone else. I feel when people focus too much on following these things it becomes dogmatic and takes the fun out of things. Even if you want to win, what is the point if you're not doing it your own way? If you're always following what everyone else is doing, what is the point in anything because its no longer your life.
**4. What is classification? How does classification work? Why is it needed and where is it applied? Give examples.*\*
Assigning something to a group or discovering what group it belongs to. Like uncovering the nature of an animal by identifying what group it belongs to scientifically. It can be useful to easily identify similarities between different things or create a system that allows you to draw conclusions without extra work.
**5. Are your ideas consistent? How do you know they are consistent? How do you spot inconsistency in others' ideas?*\*
I would think that they aren't consistent. I don't think it matters though if they are consistent as long as the meaning behind them is consistent. For instance I can change the way I view things pretty easily (and myself) so I wouldn't say I'm a consistent person internally. Outside I can appear as such but its more of a survival based trait less of a natural one. I don't really look to critique inconsistency in others so it's not natural to me. Instead, I like to find certain errors and help a person improve them. Actually the more I think of it, it might be looking for inconsistency. I was always good at proofreading others work, not just for punctuation/grammar, but to see if their ideas make sense in the grand scheme of things. It's unconscious for me to do this, I don't put much thought into it and comes into my head naturally when I see something that feels "incorrect."
An example is when someone is drawing a conclusion and it feels like it's somewhat right, but goes to the state of being extreme. Maybe someone had a bad run-in with a certain gender or culture and they assume all of them are are the same...this doesn't feel right because even though one experience was that way, it's not correct/consistent to assume that all other experiences will be the same. Like correlation does not equal causation?
**Meta-analysis:*\*
This section felt a bit harder AT FIRST, but when I thought about it more I had an easier time answering than the first one. Again, I don't really focus on these things consciously, but they do annoy me when people can be a little dogmatic about it. I guess this whole section to me boils down to "right vs wrong" and "correct vs incorrect" I feel like something can be the correct approach even if its not moral/emotional/rational, but then something else kicks in and decides not to act on it if it doesn't meat that criteria.
---
##Section 3
**1. Can you press people? What methods do you use? How does it happen?*\*
Not really...I kind of struggle with this. Sometimes I get frustrated, because it seems that people always are standing in my way. Usually its when I'm trying to do something for the betterment of others, they like to hinder me from reaching that goal. I relate to maneuvering around them, I don't really run people over. Or I like outperform them passively...becoming more successful, working hard, becoming a bit more stubborn.
**2. How do you get what you want? What do you do if you have to work to get what you want?*\*
Usually getting what I want isn't something I'm concerned with, usually it's what others want that's more important. I usually don't mind doing the hard work if its for what others want...but for what I want it's kind of hard to put in the work.
**3. How do you deal with opposition? What methods do you use to defend your interests?*\*
I can become pretty stubborn. I'm not a person to rely on anger and blow up on people, I'm more likely to try to reason. But I feel like a lot of people can't be reasoned with now, so I try to find alternatives around the conflict.
**4. When do you think it's ok to occupy someone's space? Do you recognize it?*\*
Does this mean physical space or space as an abstract concept? I think physical space is okay (if it means like tendenot combative) when you're emotionally close to the person. I like giving hugs and being near those who I am close to! Otherwise it's probably not okay! I don't think about this at all really.
**5. Do others think you are a strong-willed person? Do you think you have a strong will?*\*
I think I can appear to be weak on the surface, but inside I can be stronger than I realize. Actually, I'm not sure if others see me as this way. I've always had people tell me that I'm stronger than them, stronger than anyone they've met. This is strength in an abstract way, not physical. Just being able to outlast, persevere, not give up, work harder, learn faster, etc. I relate to the concept of quiet strength. I'm at my strongest and best when I'm fighting for others though!
**Meta-analysis:*\*
These concepts are kind of weird, because I don't naturally fight others, but I do enjoy certain aggression. I relate to applying pressure or power or drive when other people aren't. For instance, I sometimes like to turn my brain off in games and brute force myself at opponents. I play a lot of support in games, but sometimes I enjoy fighting and don't normally healbot (just passively healing.) Rushing in headfirst is kind of a thrill.
Now that I think about it, I enjoy being active more than passive. I sometimes appear passive because I don't want to cause harm to others, but I enjoy aggression to an extent. More so passion and less of aggression. Being passionate with my emotions, with people I like, touchy-feely, etc! I love being hands on and like work when I can move around. Not physical labor necessarily, but things that keep me moving. I always learned best from actually experiencing something rather than being told. Again it takes a backseat to what other people want though, so I can turn it down if necessary, but it provides a good release of energy for me to be a little loose!
---
##Section 4
**1. How do you satisfy your physical senses? What examples can you give? What physical experiences are you drawn to?*\*
This is kind of embarrassing, but I feel like satisfying them is almost compulsive for me. I'm attracted to sweets and certain delicacies. I like drinks the most. Food I'm more ambivalent about. Drinks as in things like smoothies, boba tea I loveee, teas of all kinds, milkshakes, all kinds of sweet drinks. I don't drink or smoke, but I like the way these make me feel...like emotionally better.
Also can be a little sexual, but I hide this part from my public image. I think sexual desires are pretty natural and people act like they're more taboo. Not necessarily should be flaunted in a trashy way...but people should accept that its natural to be sexually attracted to people, have different tastes, and want to explore them? Like I can understand why people are turned-off from it, but I think it's not good to deny our own natural instincts.
Ok on top of that, I'm drawn to things like good feelings and rush of excitement/energy! I don't even have to be the one doing it, but seeing other people doing something cool, gives me goosebumps. ANOTHER BIG THING IS MUSIC. I love listening to music and it affects me emotionally. Like I get goosebumps easily from songs that touch me to core. Sound is very big for me, I rely on it for everything. Sight would be next or maybe touch.
I love to move around and run. I run pretty much everywhere which can be kind of weird. But I always wondered why people just walk places...? Like its so much more fun to run and you can get to where you're going faster. It's nice to run when its windy too, it creates the perfect atmosphere. I think I'm getting carried away so I'll stop here.
**2. How do you find harmony with your environment? How do you build a harmonious environment? What happens if this harmony is disturbed?*\*
Hmm, I don't really know. I don't understand somewhat. Harmony with my environment is it like being comfortable? Because I'm comfortable when everyone else around is comfortable. So I usually work to make others comfortable. Sometimes I wish I was on my own, because I feel I would be perfectly comfortable and not have to be oriented to everyone else all the time. I have lived like that before though and was pretty set in inertia/apathy, becoming a slave to my impulses.
For instance in college, I moved out of my family home and stayed in a solo dorm. It was nice having the freedom at first, but it started to reinforce my worse habits. Without external expectations/motivations, I couldn't find a reason to do much of anything. So I ended up not going to classes, not finishing my work, becoming sluggish. The more alone I stayed the more sluggish and worn down I became. Instead of correcting it, I turned to impulsive needs...binging TV and the like. It wasn't until I was forced out of that environment that I turned back to my normal self again.
So sometimes my harmony being disturbed is beneficial to wake me up out of inertia.
**3. What does comfort mean to you? How do you create it?*\*
Comfort means being in a good state that allows me to be emotionally stable. State as in a mindset, or harboring/staying true to positive emotional feelings. Being comfortable that I won't be attacked for being myself or not necessarily having to bend to the needs of everyone else. I...don't necessarily create it I'm usually forced into it after everything else falls to the wayside.
Outside of that, I sometimes force myself to have this comfort by taking time away from the outside world...while also being connected to the outside world? Like it could be picking up a book I've always wanted to read or manga/anime I've wanted to watch. Playing a game that is solo and just delving into the story. Or thinking about myself and life and what I want out of it. Basically I get the comfort when I focus on my needs for a change, and not everyone elses. OH comfort also comes when I have a guide/goal to follow. I don't like being restricted or forced to do something, but again I can feel aimless when there's no clear path, next steps, or goal for me to work towards. Again I start feeling like things are static and unchanging and it's depressing. So when I have something like that, I feel comfortable and really get in touch with my inner strength.
**4. How do you express yourself in your hobbies? How do you engage yourself with those things?*\*
OH this is fun! My hobbies are what's really real and true to me! Like I enjoy my hobbies and turn the knowledge I gain from them, experiences, and well the emotional energy into my pursuits in the real world. I'd feel most at home doing work related to my hobbies as long as it's benefiting the world in some way. I don't really have a preference for escaping or running away from problems using them. Sometimes it helps me quiet down my anxiety though.
My hobbies are writing, music, games, anime/manga, and collecting! I enjoy collecting things that are meaningful to me such as figurines...I also like crystals. Usually I represent these things and carry them with me to keep myself grounded and motivated. My wardrobe is based a lot on my hobbies as well.
My passion for these things usually is what takes me into new experiences, I became a leader and met most of my close relationships through my interests. I feel like it's a part I've come to neglect as I've gotten older because it takes a backseat to what I feel I need to do or should do to support others/my family. But its still very important to me.
​
**5. Tell us how you'd design any room, house or an office. Do you do it yourself, or trust someone else to do it? Why?*\*
I usually talk big and say I'd do it myself...then end up asking for help because I'm indecisive! When I was younger I was much more confident just relying on my own perception and likes/dislikes for what I made/designed. For some reason getting older made me less confident in my own ability to judge that, so sometimes I have to seek out others to tell me. I don't always like to do that though, because it loses it's personal meaning for me when I share too much of my interests/ideas with others. It doesn't feel special anymore.
**Meta-analysis:*\*
This section was really fun to write about! It also makes me feel a bit bad, because I feel like I've neglected myself here and should focus on this more.
---
##Section 5
**1. Is it acceptable to express emotions in public? Give examples of inappropriate expression of emotions.*\*
Yes I think it's acceptable as long as it's not overdone to the point of being phony/attention-seeking. Some things can be kind of trashy, such as excessive displays of affection. I think people are too harsh on others who display emotion out in the open though! Like those who end up crying due to the pressure/stress they face. I've always tried not to show my worse sides to maintain a certain image/stability. The times I've cried in public have been very few and could be counted on one hand. But I don't judge others for doing so.
**2. How do you express your emotions? Can you tell how your expressions affect others in a positive or negative way?*\*
I don't think I express them that well...at least in real life. I much prefer communicating my emotions via text and find it hard to be fully vulnerable with someone face-to-face. I don't think it's because I'm not emotional though, I relate to most things through emotion. It's just perhaps an insecurity that I gained due to the environment I was in. I've had harden myself to withstand some of worse parts of life and sometimes I feel people will think less of me if I'm fully myself. It slips out online though because its a place I'm much more comfortable with, almost with my family. Again just positive emotions, I tend to hide my negative emotions a bit better. When I was younger, I was described as having a poker face, but I would mostly keep a pleasant expression at most times.
**3. Are you able to change your demeanor in order to interact with your environment in a more or less suitable way? How do you determine what is suitable?*\*
It's not necessarily to interact with the environment, I feel I naturally become what people see in me. I have trouble typing myself because of this. If someone tells me I am IEE I will be an IEE. If someone says I'm EIE, I will act like that. My image will shift to match the expectations of others in a way. It's not even something I want to do, but I can't turn it off. It's more or less what's suitable, but what would make the person feel better.
**4. In what situations do you feel others' feelings? Can you give examples of when you wanted to improve the mood of others?*\*
Usually I feel emotion/feelings in regards to everything. Things (even objects) seem to be emotion colored. As in when I look at something in invokes some type of feeling. The same goes for anyone I'm interacting with. So of course I look for the best way to improve someones feelings. I had a struggle with this when I worked in education, I conflicted with other educators because they were focused on the accuracy of the material and doing things from their perspective. I was more focused on the students emotional/mental state and if they were feeling good/healthy. I felt they learned more when someone adequately addressed their needs holistically, as humans. More so than when the focus was on memorization of material.
**5. How do others' emotions affect you? How does your internal emotional state correlate or contrast with what you express?*\*
They affect me so much. Its almost like I absorb them. When I was younger people would describe me almost like a sponge...but unlike a sponge I wouldn't hold onto the emotions. It would go inside and flow through me, I'd experience it and then it'd flow out. Now I feel like I can hold onto them more when I'm less healthy. Usually my internal state is hard to portray. I try to express myself, but sometimes its hard to get the right words or adequately put the feeling into words. That's why I tend to focus so much more on others. Understanding everyone else is easier...myself is the real mystery.
**Meta-analysis:*\*
Again this section was easy for me to answer, but it felt a little more serious. Still not bad though!
##Section 6
**1. How can you tell how much emotional space there is between yourself and others? How can you affect this space?*\*
Don't really know how to answer this. I don't understand the concept of emotional space. Does this mean like a gap between my feelings and others? I feel like I only fee this when I'm alone then, when I'm with others the feelings merge together.
**2. How do you determine how much you like or dislike someone else? How does this affect your relationships?*\*
Usually based on how they treat others and what values they hold (also how they act on those values.) I don't really like individuals who are really controlling of others and judge them for their behavior, but honestly I can see a charm in most behavior quirks! Things that are just bad no matter like racism, sexism, homophobia, etc are pretty much non negotiable, especially if they're causing direct harm to others because of those values.
I also don't like when people try to overrun or discount my own values or try to shape my values into something they're not. This has caused me to end a few relationships. Sometimes I end up leaving the relationship because I've noticed how merged I am with my partner and it bothers me. I've lost some really good relationships though...when all that was needed were a few boundaries. So I regret this tendency.
**3. How do you move from a distant relationship to a close one? What are the distinguishing characteristics of a close relationship?*\*
This happens kind of naturally...but usually I become more engaged with someone who needs help. I make friends very easily, they usually end up seeking me out. I sometimes act as the person to do things for them, take initiative, while they're a bit more passive. I'm not necessarily seeking that role but I naturally meld into it. Most close friends/partners I had were due to me offering to help them and taking an interest in their development.
I mentioned this before but people tend to follow me around? Like physically and literally...look to me to lead them. I sometimes express discomfort on the service but I enjoy it being connected to a person this way and serving as a guide for them. Usually they help me by providing constant support/affection.
Close relationships are usually ones though where I can be my vulnerable self. They don't have as many expectations from me anymore and I can just be what I am. But I don't usually know what I am...so I hope they can help me find this too.
**4. How do you know that you are a moral person? Where do you draw your morality from? Do you believe others should share your beliefs on what's moral? Why?*\*
Hmm, I don't really know if I am one. I try to do the right thing, and that's pretty much it. There's not really anything else I think about, I only really know what bothers me when it occurs in a real situation. Real or maybe an example of one. I just try to do what's right for others and myself...but I learned being right is hard...sometimes and not clear cut. I don't think people need to share my beliefs, I don't think I'd force them on others. People just need to be respectful of others beliefs...but not if they're just pure hate. I think sometimes we're too tolerant to beliefs that are actually not beliefs just hate.
**5. Someone you care about is acting distant to you. How do you know when this attitude is a reflection of your relationship?*\*
Don't really know...I think I wouldn't really think of this as a relationship issue but more of something being wrong with the person. Usually when someone is consistently different, I don't have much drive to maintain contact.
**Meta-analysis:*\*
This sections feels a little abstract, so I can't really answer properly...I don't see things or relationships this way, the whole concept of "relationship" as something separate doesn't really occur to me. I just think of the other person.
---
##Section 7
**1. How can you tell someone has the potential to be a successful person? What qualities make a successful person and why?*\*
I think almost everyone has the potential to change themselves for the better. Success isn't about career, money, status...to me its more about utilizing your strengths and pursuing your passion to be what you want to be. If a person wants to live comfortable then that's their version of success. If another wants to be the president, that's their version. Neither are incorrect as long as they are happy and fulfilled.
**2. Where would you start when looking for a new hobby? How do you find new opportunities and how do you choose which would be best?*\*
Hmm I don't really go out looking for hobbies. My interests were formed naturally by things I felt a connection to. I have a hard time narrowing down new opportunities to ones that I'd really think are best but searching for them again seems pretty easy, like I don't need to think about it.
**3. How do you interpret the following statement: "Ideas don't need to be feasible in order to be worthwhile." Do you agree or disagree, and why?*\*
I don't really agree or disagree, because what is feasible? What is an example of an non-feasible idea? One that can't be applied realistically in this current moment? Well how do we know it can't be applied? Like who is the judge? I think almost anything can be possible, we just may not be aware of the method to make it possible yet. So I feel like any idea holds merit and shouldn't be constrained by what's real right now.
**4. Describe your thought process when relating the following ideas: swimming, chicken, sciences. Do you think that others would draw the same or different connections?*\*
Chickens may swim in lakes sometimes and a scientist might study why chickens are doing so. Perhaps this is unusual behavior for chickens to be swimming so they're taking an look into the cause of this behavior? Or maybe they found a way to enhance the taste of chicken by swimming through a certain body of water? That sounds really stupid but popped in my head! Perhaps someones an actual "chicken" or coward and swimming to get away from their science exam. There's many things I can think of with this haha. I don't think people would think the same, but there's so many things you could link this to.
Another one...there's been research on swimming science...perhaps a new swimming technique that replicates the movements of a chicken. Or maybe some scientists thought it'd be cool to eat chicken while swimming to get newfound inspiration? I could keep going but I'll stop because these sound stupid lol.
**5. How would you summarize the qualities that are essential to who you are? What kind of potential in you has yet to be actualized and why?*\*
I don't...really know. I mean I do know but also don't. The qualities most important to me are being open-minded and adaptable, being kind, having hope and perseverance. I would hate to become a close-minded, stuck in the mud person. I want to believe in things even if they're silly or unrealistic. Life is magical and I think people should take things less seriously some times. Not everything needs to be proved to have value.
Potential that has yet to be actualized...probably a lot. I feel like I could do a lot of good for this world and others, but I'm holding myself back. Why? I don't really know why, but perhaps I'm scared of being too much or even more so, scared of not being able to realize this. If I try my hardest and still fail, then what is left?
At the same time, I think other's see my potential more than I see it myself.
**Meta-analysis:*\*
Nothing much to say about this one, seemed pretty straightforward to me!
---
##Section 8
**1. How do people change? Can you describe how various events change people? Can others see those changes?*\*
Nature vs nurture is what comes to mind. Some people are dealt a hand and they may not change much from that. Others are changed by life and their circumstances. I think trauma is a big thing that changes people...also the demands of our world. The world we live in or well our "society" is not built to support everyone. It's not fair and it's not right, so I can see people being forced to change just to survive. This really bothers me. Other people can see those changes, but I think sometimes those who are lucky to fit well with this society tend to look the other way.
**2. How do you feel and experience time? Can time be wasted? How?*\*
I don't? I can sometimes pinpoint exactly what time it is without a clock. Other times I can be very off. I don't really think time is wasted unless you're doing something you don't like. If its fun its not a waste as its contributing to your wellness of spirit.
**3. Is there anything that cannot be described with words? What is it? If so, how can we understand what it is if language does not work?*\*
A lot of things...probably the inner nature of humans. For me, I can't express what I truly feel inside. It comes out somewhat, but it's never what I truly feel or imagine. There are other things like invisible bonds we have to others, things you just know without needing to explain. Being bonded or drawn to someone or something for no particular reason...you can't really describe it or what causes it...it just happens.
To understand it...well you can't really? At least not fully. If you could, it'd ruin the nature of it. To me this feels more like something spiritual than a material world issue.
**4. How do you anticipate events unfolding? How can you observe such unfoldments in your environment?*\*
Usually I can tell the direction something is headed by the patterns that are present. It doesn't need to be a direct correlation, there doesn't need to be proof...sometimes there's just a feeling. Knowing that its right, or at least being very sure. If asked to explain it can't really be explained...but you just know? Also based off past trends and behavior. I look at symbols or experiences I've had before or witnessed in different places (past experiences, representations in media, in other things.) Honestly I enjoy fiction because it teaches so much about why things happen and HOW they happen. So by understanding the cause/effect in fiction, you can identify the same in the real world.
**5. In what situations is timing important? How do you know the time is right to act? How do you feel about waiting for the right moment?*\*
There's an instinct to just do it. Like the meme, but I've always thought there's a lot of truth in it. I think you'll just know, but the question is less of knowing the time and more of getting yourself to have the courage to take the step. I've missed a lot of things because I knew the time was right...felt it to my core, but I didn't believe in it or myself enough to act on it. Those are my biggest regrets honestly. Of course I was instantly proven right, that I did actually know and I should've acted. But I just couldn't do it.
Waiting for the right moment has merit too! I do that sometimes when the answer isn't clear. Again its just a gut instinct, nothing concrete to base it off. When I feel it, I get a sense inside that I should wait. Almost like some inner voice tells me to wait it out. I'll try to force things sometimes, but it never goes well. It goes back to "just wait." Eventually the right time appears and I realize it was worth waiting for.
**Meta-analysis:*\*
I liked this section, it feels like a part of myself that was...lost to history, but was brought to light again.
THIS WAS A LOT TO WRITE. SORRY IF THERE ARE ERRORS. IF YOU READ THIS WHOLE THING THANKS SO MUCH FOR TAKING THE TIME TO HELP ME!

Okay so we have been ldr for a few months now, we talk alot on the phone, share pics, daily random stuff/routine. We sext sometimes etc and we always talk about visiting each other, how we want to see each other.
Now I was able to find some time in may (found some cheap flights and a place to stay) to come visit him. I told him Im coming (never said the actual date just to surprise him a lil always wanted to do that lol).
Now since this is a new place im going to, was never in a plane I feel kind of scared going alone. So I asked one of my friends if she and her bf are up for a week trip with me (she said yes but her bf declined because of an upcoming project he has for work).
Now before anyone attacks me for inviting other people to this type of trip, I don't like doing something this big alone (like organizing this whole surprise plane trip), its easier if you have someone with you in a new place (yes I know my bf will be with me but for some days he won't because he has work, plus the whole trip there will take almost a whole day and ill probably be a nervous wreck if I was alone).
I also asked my bf if he is okay with that and he is.
Now he is excited that im coming(he doesn't show it that much but I know he is).
The thing that I wanna ask is regarding this. He keeps talking about how are we going to be intimate if my friend is there. Said he was going to give her some money for coffee to leave us alone for an hour. All jokes but he kept going on and on about that and I was like "is that the only thing you can think about".
Now im the type of person who doesn't really think that the intimate part in bed is the only main reason to stay in a relationship because i like you for you. Not for your body or whatever. I like you cuz you care about me, cuz you treat me good, there for me when Im sad etc.
Im not saying he only thinks about the intimate part, or that he is a s*x maniac. He isnt but when he comments some of those things it can appear like thats is the only reason he is excited for me to come.
After he continued talking about ways to get rid of my friend(which i would never do, nobody likes feeling like a third wheel so I don't want her to feel like that) (plus ofc im going to be alone with him its not like im going to bring my friend everywhere with us).
He mentioned paying for a hotel just for one night "to have his way with me". At that point I was kinda mad and disappointed because while I was looking up places we could go to, fun stuff for us to do he was thinking about that. Plus the hotel thing made me feel like a hooker.
Now, he is half joking, he even told me himself but idk if im overreacting or not. Thats why I need help.
I went thru a relationship where a guy was with me just cuz of the intimate part of it. So I have some trauma.
I know he isnt like this guy but when the convo continues in that way I can't help but feel like that thing is the only reason he is excited for my visit/the main reason to stay in a relationship.
He did ask me do i really think he is like that guy I said no. But when he says okay i won't do anything (talk about it/do any intimate thing) it makes me feel guilty.
Am I overreacting? What should I do?
-I apologize if you don't understand, English isn't my first language

Meat and milk isn't Kosher, however, what about poultry?

hey i feel like theres always been this sterotype of peanut butter and jelly sandwich as being unhealthy or a type of junk food. But lets say i use whole wheat bread, natural peanut butter with no added sugar and jelly.
Isnt that a healthy snack?

So, please hear me out and don't mock my condition. I pray all the time about it and I don't need to cry over another subreddit telling me my bipolar 1 isn't real, I'm just demon- invfested. Sorry to come off strong. I just can't handle another panic attack over those kinds of attacks. So I have bp 1. I was undiagnosed for years, I'm 34 now. My kids are 9,10, and 11. It's been about two years since I got my diagnosis. I've been on medication, just finding the right medication the struggle. Unfortunately, I've learned bad behaviors, like not taking care of myself. I tend to clutter (messy hotspots if you've heard of flylady), miss the garbage can with a crumbled paper, oh well. And just generally, messy. Now I'm finally getting clarity in my head. I can think. So for the last month almost two, I've really made a turn around. I'm still working on hygiene, but I've been establishing routines and making my bed and vacuuming and clearing hotspots. But I spend so much time cleaning up after them. I know it's my fault. Their laziness is my fault because they learned it from me. I fully take the blame. But I can't seem to fix it. Boo matter how early I'm up, with my shoes on, hair brushed, make up on (the call it my 'game face'), running back to clean up, garbage bags opening and making noise, windex showing, 'where's the Papertowels?', they don't care. If it's an easy chore, like put the controllers in the cabinet, sure. I asked them to go through the dryer and get their laundry out, well that was a fit pitching from my 9 year old. My 10 year pretended I didn't exist. My 11 year old went in and proceeded to leave half behind. The boys pee all over the toilet (like to the top of the lid. Apparently as long as the pee touches the toilet at some point then it counts). I don't expect them to be perfect or clean all the time, no one is. But I expect to not have to leave cleaner next to the toilet so I don't have to wash the seat every time (I'm not kidding) I need to sit down. Or to have an empirical for when I ask for 20 minutes if their day to help clean up the house. They've got zero guilt about literally stopping garbage on the floor. I guess I didn't get on them about that enough. How do I fix it all now? I know this was long but I'm here baring my heart with a plea for help. I'm trying so hard to get better BP wise, but it's so hard when I spend my cleaning up after things that should never have been a mess to begin in. I have a shoe bin next to the front door. Why are they in the middle of the living room where I tripped on them and fell again?