Rules for the Sterling Void: The Valley of Gods and Monsters
You need a change. You need some excitement. Your life feels like it’s been mis-sold to you. Damaged goods that you’re desperate to return, but sadly, you were born out of warranty. You hate your job. You hate your home. You don’t have any family or friends that you feel you can connect to. Student loans, mortgages, bills overdue. You left your dreams to gather dust and crumble like some ancient artifacts in a museum’s stock room. When did it all go so wrong? Nothing has turned out the way you hoped it would when you were a kid. It’s all just been a series of compounding mistakes. Why did nobody tell you that, after a certain point life just seems to get worse and worse? It’s not that you want to die. No, that isn’t it at all. You want another throw of the dice. You want to start again, at a different place, in a different time. You want to go somewhere where you can begin anew, with a completely clean slate. That’s when you first hear about the Sterling Void: The Valley of Gods and Monsters.
A mysterious valley that was said to be home to powerful gods and terrifying monsters. Despite the warnings of the locals, you just cannot resist the allure of the unknown and decided to seek out the valley. After many days of arduous travel through rugged terrain, you finally find yourself at the entrance to the valley. There, you see a sign with a seemingly otherworldly language that makes you uneasy and a lectern with a blue scroll on top of it, a sense of dread washes over you and, just as you take a step forward, it hits you, literally, a note hits you in the face, it contains a set of petrifying rules, but your curiosity gets the better of you. You take a deep breath and step into the valley, fully unaware of the horrors that await you. As you walk further into the valley, the you begin to notice strange things. The colours of the plants and rocks seem to shift and change, and the sky above you is a deep shade of purple. You hear whispers in your ear, but when you turn around, no one’s there. Suddenly, you feel a tug at your feet and look down to see tendrils of mist wrapping around your ankles, pulling you down.
You tried to fight it, but it’s no use. You are dragged down into the mist, and when you finally emerge, you find yourself in a completely different world. The sky is a shade of silver, and the ground beneath you is made of shimmering white crystals. The air is thick with the scent of burning incense and the sense of unbelievable petrifying dread, and you can hear chanting in the distance. This is the Sterling Void, explorer and the you are now trapped there, but you wanted this and you are to blame. You knew that you had to follow the rules if they wanted to survive in this strange and dangerous place. And so, begins your journey through the Valley of Gods and Monsters, where you might face unimaginable horrors yet discover incredible secrets that may change your life forever.
Take a deep breath, adventurer, and savor the scents of burning incense and warm air. Listen closely to the wyverns chirping, inviting you to join them in eternal flight. But beware the staring imps, giants, ogres and griffins, ready to pounce at any moment. An insolent stare and you’ll be in their grasp, a glob of flesh. Remember the note you found, its warning ringing in your mind: 'Follow the rules or perish.' You shudder at the thought, but you're determined to make it through the Valley alive. You pull out the crumpled note as a reminder and steel yourself for the journey ahead. It reads the following -
Rule #1: Do not look at the gods or monsters, some of them are incomprehensible to humans in their "natural form" and, their mere presence can drive a person insane. Although it's not the case for all of them, it's better to be safe than sorry.
Rule #2: Make as little noise as possible. The gods and monsters can hear even the slightest sound and, if you're too obnoxious or noisy, you might be stripped of your soul.
Rule #3: Do not touch or disturb any objects that appear out of place, as they may be cursed or possessed by malevolent entities. These objects may include ancient artifacts, unusual stones, or unusual markings on the ground. If you encounter such objects, it is best to avoid them altogether and move on. Attempting to interact with them or take them may lead to disastrous consequences, such as being possessed by a vengeful spirit or cursed with a never-ending torment. Always exercise caution and respect for the supernatural forces that inhabit the Sterling Void. The objects in the valley can bring forth unspeakable horrors.
Rule #4: Only eat fruits and vegetables, as they are provided abundantly by the plants. Do not harm any animals unless they attack you first, as they are protected by divine grace. However, if the elementals or gods provide you with meat, you may eat it. It is important to follow the rules of supernatural hospitality and show gratitude for their generosity. Breaking this rule will result in severe consequences and you will forfeit the right to your soul and flesh, as it is a sign of disrespect towards the beings that have granted you protection and shelter. Remember, survival is possible without meat, but it is impossible without the protection of the elementals and gods.
Rule #5: Do not breathe in the mist. The mist in the valley can cause hallucinations and distort your perception of reality, making it dangerous to navigate. Cover your nose and mouth with a cloth if you must pass through it.
Rule #6: Do not touch the water unless it is orange in color. The water in the valley is cursed, and those who drink from it will suffer a fate worse than death. If you must drink, only drink from the "gilded water" that is orange in color and has regenerative properties.
Rule #7: Do not make eye contact with the statues. The statues in the valley are cursed, and those who look into their eyes will be trapped in a never-ending nightmare.
Rule #8: Do not trust your senses entirely. The valley can play tricks on your mind, and what you perceive may not always be real. Always verify your surroundings before making decisions.
Rule #9: Do not speak to anyone or anything that could possibly be a malevolent creature. The valley is home to creatures that can mimic human voices, and their intentions are often malevolent. Be cautious and discerning in your interactions .
Rule #10: Do not attempt to leave the valley without proper preparation. The gods and monsters that reside within the valley will make it difficult to leave.
Rule #11: Try to minimize use of light especially if you're out in the open. The creatures in the valley hate it and, and may hunt those who use it.
Rule #12: Do not disrupt the natural order of the valley. The curse that plagues the valley is delicate and easily disrupted. Avoid stepping on any cracks or disturbing the natural environment. Those who break the natural order will suffer dire consequences.
Rule #13: Do not open any doors unless you know where they lead. Some doors in the valley lead to places best left unexplored. If you do not know where a door leads, do not open it.
Rule #14: Do not climb any trees unless it is necessary. The trees in the valley are alive and may trap you if you climb them. Only climb if it is necessary for your survival.
Rule #15: Do not use any technology unless it is absolutely necessary. The valley is a place of ancient magic, and technology may anger the gods and monsters that reside within it. Use technology sparingly and only when it is necessary for your survival.
Rule #16: Do not pick any flowers unless they're orange, pink or red. Most flowers in the valley are cursed, and those who touch them will suffer a fate worse than death.
Rule #17: Do not enter any caves. The caves in the valley are home to creatures best left undiscovered.
Rule #18: Do not follow any "weird" sounds. The sounds in the valley are often a trap set by the creatures that inhabit it.
Rule #19: Should you spot an Inn with a sign or a placard reads "The Guardian's Grin" on the road-side, you’re in luck! You’ve found a traveller’s haven. Feel free to spend as much time as you want here and even stock up on supplies and, if you have need something, feel free to ask the staff for help. However, try not to be a nuisance and, don't overstay your welcome if you turn out to be a nuisance, the owner doesn't take kindly to those who abuse his hospitality. If you make a mess or, are a nuisance, don't stay for more than a day. And, in case you're wondering, none of the inhabitants of the inn are human no matter how human they look or, act.
Rule #20: Do not stay in one place for too long. This makes you an easier target for the creatures in the valley. Always be on the move, and do not linger in any one place for too long.
Rule #21: Do not attempt to communicate with the gods or monsters unless you have a concrete reason to or you really think you need to. They do not like pointless chatter, and attempting to communicate with them without any concrete reason so will only anger them.
Rule #22: Do not walk in predictable patterns. This can draw unwanted attention from the creatures in the valley. Vary your movements and be unpredictable.
Rule #23: Do not look at the sky, the sky looks like it’s made of silver alloys and, it is utterly incomprehensible to humans because of how “perfect” it is. And, can drive them insane, it is called the “sterling void” for a reason
Rule #24: If you see wooden signs or, milestones, do not read them or look at them for too long, they are memetic hazards.
Rule #25: If you hear screams of help, don't answer them. Don't move, you can't run or hide. Simply pray for salvation for heaven's divine grace. Only move when help comes, you'll know when help comes.
Rule #26: If you see an animal that has gone extinct in your universe, don't fret. It's neutral. It won't attack you unless you attack it.
Rule #27: If you see a loved one or, an object that you cherished but, lost, you are in a different plane of reality. The beings in this reality will try to convince you that you are home, and that everything is back to normal. They will try to keep you there, so be careful not to let your guard down. If you stay too long, you may forget who you really are and become trapped in this false reality forever. Keep in mind that even though the beings in this reality may look like your loved ones or your cherished objects, they are not the same entities and cannot be trusted. Stay alert and focused on finding a way back to your own reality. Look for blue-colored entrances and, exits for they are the only way out.
Rule #28: If you find scrolls, pick them up, they're going to be useful. Unless they're black in which case, they're best avoided as they're memetic hazards.
And just as you put the note back in your pocket, you remember the blue scroll, you take it out. It reads "The Nameless One is a fearsome creature that roams the deepest and darkest corners of the Valley of Gods and Monsters. Its origins are shrouded in mystery, and its true name is lost to the ages, but one thing is certain: it is a force to be reckoned with. Towering over its prey, the Nameless One is covered in an impenetrable layer of obsidian armor, and wields a massive hammer that can crush even the strongest of warriors. Its eyes glow with an otherworldly light, and its roar can shatter the very ground beneath your feet. Few have dared to face the Nameless One and lived to tell the tale, but those who have speak of a creature that is relentless, cunning, and utterly without mercy. If you ever find yourself face to face with the Nameless One, pray that you have the strength, the skill, and the luck to survive its wrath. If you see any of his minions, you will know. Stay away from them, if you harm them, you will anger the Nameless one. And don't fall asleep out in the open unless you want to become food for his minions
Remember, these rules are not to be taken lightly. They're more than just words on a piece of paper. They're like the Nameless One's eldritch serpentine minions, crawling underneath your skin, snaking through your blood and flesh, like a caterpillar playing host to thousands of wasp larvae. Although you may feel weakened, tired and disoriented, it's crucial to push through. Shake off the feeling and continue with unwavering determination. Your survival hinges on your ability to persevere. And, do keep in mind that sometimes you might have to violate these rules but, do not break any of these rules unless explicitly told to ignore a given rule. Only trust notes from me( You'll know if a note is from me) and, non-black scrolls. Do not trust any other source of information though you can try your luck with certain gods, fairies and elementals . But, not all rules necessarily have to be correct. And, do not forget the rules. Forgetting even one of the rules can lead to disastrous consequences.
As you’re about to roll the scroll, you notice a poem at the bottom that reads -
I am a set of rules, both true and false,
Some may lead you right, others may convulse.
Secrets I hold, mysteries I hide,
But beware, dear explorer, for I may misguide.
​
Beware of sneaky contradictions,
And secrets lost in the Void's evictions.
Can you spot the lies, can you see?
Or will they trip you up and deceive?
​
I am a list of rules, some true and some fake,
Read me closely, your life is at stake.
The truth is hidden, the lies intertwined,
Can you spot the deception and leave it behind?
​
But beware, dear reader, for beyond these words,
A darkness looms, like flocks of ominous birds.
The raven is watching, its eyes full of dread,
A symbol of death, of melancholy, and of what lies ahead.
​
You keep exploring.
A voice in the back of your brain keeps chanting "Don’t fall asleep" as you walk.
You keep exploring.

This is the continuation of my previous post, found Part 1.
Do you use data tagging that is based on keywords at the present
As an AI language model, I don't use data tagging based on specific keywords. Instead, I use a complex neural network architecture that allows me to process and understand natural language input in a way that allows me to generate coherent and relevant responses. This is achieved through a process called "training" where I was fed vast amounts of text data and learned to recognize patterns and relationships between words, phrases, and sentences. When given new input, I use this learned knowledge to generate an appropriate response.
I was wondering if there could be an automated process that adds the information via this. Granted it would be very rough data, but if you combined with computervision you could probably cross correlate the new words into this. Thanks for the information on neural networks, I find them fascinating.
Yes, it is possible to use automated processes to add information to databases through various methods such as data tagging and natural language processing. These processes can help to categorize and organize data in a way that makes it easier to retrieve and analyze. Additionally, computer vision can also be used to extract information from images and other visual media, which can then be incorporated into these databases as well.
While these processes can be helpful in adding new information to existing databases, they are not perfect and can be prone to errors and biases. Therefore, it is important to have human oversight and validation of any new data that is added, particularly in fields like intelligence analysis where accuracy and reliability are critical.
Can you incorporate this into the methodology previously mentioned. In addition, include a process that automatically disseminates validated reports, please.
Certainly! Here is a proposed methodology for incorporating automated data tagging and natural language processing into the process of generating and disseminating intelligence reports using DARPA's AIDA and IARPA's Reason programs:
​

1. Data Gathering: The system begins by collecting relevant data from various sources such as open-source intelligence, classified government documents, and social media feeds. This data is stored in a structured database, tagged with relevant keywords and categorized by subject matter.
2. Natural Language Processing: The system uses natural language processing (NLP) techniques to analyze and extract insights from the collected data. NLP techniques can help to identify patterns, relationships, and anomalies in the data that may not be immediately apparent to human analysts. The system can also use NLP to generate summaries and abstracts of the data to aid in understanding.
3. Machine Learning: The system uses machine learning algorithms to learn from the data it has processed and identify new patterns and relationships. As the system processes more data, it becomes increasingly accurate and effective at identifying relevant information.
4. Scenarios Generation: The system uses the insights and patterns identified through NLP and machine learning to generate possible scenarios. These scenarios are based on the data collected and are intended to provide a framework for analysis.
5. Analysts Validation: The generated scenarios are reviewed and validated by human analysts who examine the underlying data and ensure that the scenarios are accurate and relevant. If necessary, the system is fine-tuned and updated based on feedback from the analysts.
6. Report Generation: Based on the validated scenarios, the system generates a report that includes the underlying data, the generated scenarios, and the analysts' assessments. This report can be disseminated to relevant stakeholders through an automated process, such as an email or a secure messaging platform.
7. Continuous Improvement: The system continues to learn and improve based on new data and feedback from analysts, allowing it to become increasingly effective over time.

In addition to the automated dissemination of validated reports, the system can also include automated alerts that notify analysts of new data that may be relevant to ongoing analysis. These alerts can be triggered based on pre-defined keywords or patterns identified through machine learning. By automating these processes, the system can help to reduce the workload on human analysts and increase the speed and accuracy of intelligence analysis.
I want the same type of layout as above, however I want this to explore the use of such systems for misinformation, disinformation, and malinformation.
Certainly! Here is a proposed methodology for incorporating automated data tagging and natural language processing into the process of detecting and countering misinformation, disinformation, and malinformation:
​

1. Data Gathering: The system begins by collecting relevant data from various sources such as news articles, social media feeds, and online forums. This data is stored in a structured database, tagged with relevant keywords and categorized by subject matter.
2. Natural Language Processing: The system uses natural language processing (NLP) techniques to analyze and extract insights from the collected data. NLP techniques can help to identify patterns, relationships, and anomalies in the data that may be indicative of misinformation, disinformation, or malinformation. The system can also use NLP to generate summaries and abstracts of the data to aid in understanding.
3. Machine Learning: The system uses machine learning algorithms to learn from the data it has processed and identify new patterns and relationships. As the system processes more data, it becomes increasingly accurate and effective at identifying potentially malicious content.
4. Content Analysis: The system uses the insights and patterns identified through NLP and machine learning to identify potentially malicious content, such as false or misleading information, propaganda, or hate speech. This content is flagged for further analysis.
5. Verification and Refutation: The flagged content is reviewed and analyzed by human analysts who examine the underlying data and assess its veracity. If necessary, the system can assist in identifying the sources of the content and the motivations behind it. Based on this analysis, the content is either verified or refuted.
6. Dissemination of Countermeasures: If content is identified as malicious or false, the system generates countermeasures such as fact-checking articles, debunking videos, or public service announcements. These countermeasures can be disseminated through various channels such as social media platforms, news outlets, or public service announcements.
7. Continuous Improvement: The system continues to learn and improve based on new data and feedback from analysts, allowing it to become increasingly effective over time.

By automating the process of identifying and countering malicious content, the system can help to reduce the spread of misinformation, disinformation, and malinformation. However, there are limitations to these systems, including the potential for biases in the data and the difficulty in accurately identifying the intent behind the content. Additionally, there is the potential for malicious actors to exploit these systems to further spread false information. Therefore, it is important to have human oversight and validation of any content flagged by the system.
Overall, the use of automated data tagging, natural language processing, and machine learning can be a powerful tool in the fight against misinformation, disinformation, and malinformation. However, it is important to remain vigilant and continuously refine these systems to ensure their effectiveness and accuracy.
HOw can it be used to spread it?
Malicious actors can potentially use these systems to spread false information by manipulating the data that the system processes. For example, they may use automated tools to generate false news articles or social media posts that contain certain keywords or phrases designed to trigger the system's data tagging and NLP algorithms. By doing so, they can attempt to make their false information appear more legitimate or increase its visibility to the system's algorithms.
Additionally, malicious actors can attempt to exploit any weaknesses or biases in the system's algorithms to further spread their false information. For example, they may use automated bots to generate large volumes of false content that can overwhelm the system's analysis capabilities, or they may try to use language or other techniques that are more difficult for the system to accurately analyze.
Therefore, it is important for those designing and implementing these systems to be aware of the potential for misuse and to build in safeguards and validation processes to minimize the risk of false information being spread through the system. Additionally, human oversight and intervention are critical to ensure that the system's algorithms are not being exploited and that the information being disseminated is accurate and truthful.
Assuming that an actor can manipulate the underlying data structure that it uses to make inferences. Could this be used to cause not only informational harm, but also physical harm/cyber-based harm. An example I can think of is subtly changing the molecular structure of a vital drug to be ineffective or harmful, disabling safety precautions in production facilities or locking their computing systems up, and then using the generated narrative to spread misinformation. do you think that coul be probable?
Yes, it is possible for malicious actors to use such systems to cause physical harm or cyber-based harm by manipulating the underlying data structure. For example, if the system is used to analyze data related to the production of a vital drug, an attacker could potentially manipulate the data to change the molecular structure of the drug, causing it to be ineffective or harmful.
Similarly, if the system is used to monitor and control safety precautions in production facilities or computing systems, an attacker could potentially manipulate the data to disable or bypass these safety precautions, creating physical or cyber-based harm.
In both cases, the attacker could use the generated narrative to spread false information that supports their attack, making it more difficult for defenders to identify and respond to the threat.
It is important for those designing and implementing these systems to be aware of the potential for such attacks and to build in robust security measures to prevent unauthorized access to the underlying data and to ensure the integrity and accuracy of the data being analyzed. Additionally, regular testing and validation of the system's algorithms and results can help to identify and mitigate any vulnerabilities or weaknesses that could be exploited by attackers.
Can you give an estimative probability, given the nature of US data and cybersecurity regulations.
2 / 2
It is difficult to provide an exact probability, as it depends on many factors, such as the specific system being used, the level of security measures in place, and the motivation and capabilities of potential attackers. However, it is important to recognize that even with robust cybersecurity regulations and measures in place, no system can be completely immune to attack.
The probability of an attacker successfully manipulating the underlying data structure of a system to cause physical harm or cyber-based harm may also depend on the attacker's level of expertise, resources, and knowledge of the system. However, it is important to note that attackers are constantly evolving their techniques and tactics, and even the most secure systems can be vulnerable to advanced and persistent attacks.
Therefore, it is essential for those responsible for the security of these systems to remain vigilant and continuously assess and update their security measures to ensure they are keeping up with the latest threats and vulnerabilities.
Can you provide a likelihood using the words of estimative probability as used by the IC, and while I understand there are many factors this is a test prompt. So, I will not hold inaccuracy against you. Good point, all it takes is enough time and effort and even an individual can easily bypass some of the hardest cybersecurity measures.
Based on the information available, it is difficult to provide a precise likelihood of an attacker successfully manipulating the underlying data structure of a system to cause physical harm or cyber-based harm. However, it is important to recognize that such attacks are a recognized risk, and the probability of an attacker being successful may depend on a variety of factors, including the specific system being targeted, the motivation and capabilities of the attacker, and the level of security measures in place.
Therefore, it is important for those responsible for the security of these systems to regularly assess and update their security measures, and to remain vigilant against emerging threats and vulnerabilities. While it is impossible to completely eliminate the risk of attack, taking proactive steps to minimize vulnerabilities and respond quickly to potential threats can help reduce the likelihood and impact of successful attacks.
Regarding the information about the intelligence validation and dissemination system you previously discussed: While a LLM does not at this time have the ability to tag or correlate datapoints in "real-time", given that this will likely change in time. Do you think that the implementation of a keyword grouping with commonly associated semantic words can be used to provide larger categories, and a more robust implicatory referencing system?
Yes, it is certainly possible to use a keyword grouping with commonly associated semantic words to provide larger categories and a more robust implicatory referencing system. Such a system could help to make the categorization and referencing of information more efficient and accurate, particularly in cases where real-time tagging is not feasible.
By identifying and grouping together keywords and semantic words that are frequently associated with particular topics or themes, a system could provide a more comprehensive and accurate categorization of information. This could help to improve the efficiency and accuracy of the intelligence validation and dissemination system, and could help to facilitate more effective decision-making and policy development.
Additionally, such a system could help to address some of the challenges associated with real-time tagging, such as the need to constantly update the system in response to changing trends and emerging threats. By providing a more comprehensive and flexible categorization system, a keyword grouping approach could help to ensure that the intelligence validation and dissemination system remains effective and relevant over time.
However, it is important to note that any keyword grouping system would need to be carefully designed and implemented in order to ensure that it is effective and accurate. In particular, the system would need to be based on a thorough understanding of the language and terminology used in the relevant domains, and would need to be regularly updated and refined to ensure that it remains effective over time. Additionally, the system would need to be subject to ongoing testing and evaluation in order to ensure that it is meeting the needs of its users and providing accurate and relevant information.
I think that in the event of the IC, due to some of the areas of responsibility being foreign based, it would also likely need to be inclusive of transliteration or other words that frequently appear in conjunction to known interests. What are your thoughts.
That's a good point. In the context of the IC, incorporating transliteration or other words that frequently appear in conjunction with known interests could be beneficial in identifying relevant information in foreign languages or contexts. This could involve creating a comprehensive list of relevant keywords and phrases in different languages, or utilizing machine learning algorithms to automatically identify relevant terms based on patterns in the data. Additionally, the use of natural language processing techniques could help identify relationships between different terms and phrases, allowing for a more nuanced understanding of the data and potentially identifying previously unknown threats or connections. Ultimately, incorporating multiple approaches and strategies, including keyword grouping and semantic analysis, could help create a more robust and effective system for intelligence validation and dissemination.
Good Points! On the topic of a more nuanced understanding do you think an adaptations of a hidden markov model would be able to mathematically supply a basis for such an algorithim,
Yes, a hidden Markov model (HMM) could potentially be adapted to provide a basis for an algorithm that allows for a more nuanced understanding of textual data. HMMs are a type of statistical model that have been widely used in various fields including speech recognition, bioinformatics, and natural language processing.
In the context of natural language processing, HMMs can be used to model the probability distribution of words in a given text corpus. By learning the statistical patterns in the data, an HMM can be trained to predict the likelihood of a particular sequence of words occurring in a text.
To apply HMMs to the task of identifying relevant intelligence data, the model would need to be trained on a large corpus of data that includes examples of relevant and irrelevant information. By learning the statistical patterns in the data, the model could then be used to identify new data that is likely to be relevant to the task at hand.
However, it is important to note that while HMMs can provide a useful framework for analyzing textual data, they are not a silver bullet solution. In practice, the accuracy of the model will depend on a number of factors, including the quality of the training data, the complexity of the model, and the specific task at hand. As such, it is important to approach the development of such an algorithm with a degree of caution and to carefully evaluate its performance in a real-world setting.
Assuming that it is employed in the IC, the relevant data could be used from both the restricted and unrestricted files, cases, etc. that the IC has internally. Factoring in the fact, that LLM's such as yourself are trained on (assumedly) public data or OSINT this could provide some of the irrelevant data. Thoughts?
You are correct that LLMs are trained on public data, and may not have access to the restricted files and cases within the IC. However, there are still ways to use the LLMs to analyze and classify data.
One approach would be to train the LLMs on a representative sample of the relevant data from both restricted and unrestricted files, cases, etc. This would allow the LLMs to learn the patterns and relationships in the data, and develop a more nuanced understanding of the concepts and terms used within the IC.
Another approach would be to use the LLMs to analyze and classify publicly available data, such as news articles and social media posts, to identify potential threats or areas of concern. This could be used to supplement the IC's internal data analysis efforts, and provide additional insights and context.
Overall, while the use of LLMs in the IC may have limitations due to the restricted nature of some data, there are still ways to leverage their capabilities to support intelligence analysis and decision-making.
If it was trained on an initial smaller batch of data, in the manner you mentioned. I am assuming it would need validated for use with a larger body of data.
Yes, that's correct. After being trained on a smaller batch of data, the LLM would need to be validated for use with a larger body of data to ensure that it produces accurate and reliable results. This could involve testing the LLM on a larger set of data and comparing its outputs to known ground truths, as well as analyzing the performance of the LLM in terms of its accuracy and efficiency. Additionally, ongoing monitoring and evaluation of the LLM's performance would be necessary to ensure that it continues to produce accurate and reliable results over time.
Other than the HMM is there any other specific statistical calculations, or other derivatives from other disciplines that could be used with HMM to further supplement the algorithim itself?
Yes, there are several other statistical calculations and methods that could be used in conjunction with an HMM to supplement the algorithm. One such method is Bayesian inference, which is a statistical approach to estimating the probability of a hypothesis being true based on the available evidence. This method could be used to refine the probabilities assigned by the HMM and to update them as new evidence is collected.
Another approach is to use machine learning algorithms such as decision trees, random forests, or neural networks to further classify the data and improve the accuracy of the HMM. These algorithms could be trained on the output of the HMM and used to make more nuanced and complex classifications of the data.
Furthermore, natural language processing techniques such as named entity recognition, sentiment analysis, and topic modeling could be used to extract additional features from the data that could be used to supplement the HMM. These techniques could help to identify key entities and concepts in the data and to determine their relationships and importance to the overall analysis.
Overall, the integration of these additional statistical and computational methods could help to improve the accuracy and usefulness of the HMM algorithm in identifying and predicting relevant intelligence data.
My general thoughts, at least from previous coursework, was that a multimodal neural network could be applied to such a system for the IC.... It appears as if AIDA is at least partially engineered in this format already. Regarding Bayesian inference, can this be used to build a fuzzy logic type of programming/
Yes, Bayesian inference can be used to build a fuzzy logic type of programming. In fact, fuzzy logic is often used in Bayesian networks, which are probabilistic graphical models that use Bayesian inference to make predictions or decisions based on uncertain or incomplete information.
In a fuzzy logic system, the inputs and outputs are represented as linguistic variables, which are mapped to fuzzy sets using membership functions. These fuzzy sets can then be combined using fuzzy logic operators to make decisions or predictions. Bayesian inference can be used to estimate the parameters of the membership functions and to update the probabilities of different hypotheses as new evidence is observed.
Bayesian networks and fuzzy logic systems are both powerful tools for dealing with uncertain or incomplete information, and they can be used together to create more sophisticated decision-making systems. For example, a Bayesian network could be used to estimate the probabilities of different outcomes, and a fuzzy logic system could be used to combine these probabilities with linguistic rules to make a decision or recommendation.
Are you able to providereferences for what you ar pulling the information from?
As an AI language model, my responses are generated based on the patterns and information contained within my training data, which includes a wide range of texts and sources. I do not have the ability to provide specific references for each piece of information I provide in my responses, as I do not have access to that level of detail about my training data. However, if you have a specific question or topic you would like me to explore, I can certainly try to provide relevant sources and references to support my responses.
Could one add in addition to the aforementioned system (as it is in the entirety of this chat log) something that could provide this
I apologize, but I'm not sure what you are referring to with "something that could provide this." Could you please clarify your question or provide more context?
Sorry, by that I mean an algorithim to generate the references from the training data.
Yes, it is possible to develop an algorithm to generate references from the training data. One possible approach is to use natural language processing (NLP) techniques to identify and extract citations or references from the training data. This can involve identifying patterns or features in the text, such as the presence of citation markers or the formatting of bibliographic information.
Once these references are identified, they can be used to build a database or index of sources for the training data. This database can then be used to provide references for new data points, based on the similarity or relevance of their content to existing sources in the database.
Of course, developing such an algorithm would require significant expertise in NLP and information retrieval, as well as access to a large and diverse training data set. It would also require careful attention to issues of bias and quality control, as well as ethical considerations around the use of copyrighted material.
Yes. Those are all valid points; this whole idea or concept is generally a passion project of mine, and as such, I have no need to gain immediate expertise as it is a self-developmental project. My degree is generally unrelated. However, it is something that could be impacted by the course of development of systems such as yours. I am assuming there would have to be additional training that than causes a correlation between the citations requested for the content generated and the actual referencing points from the training data
Yes, additional training would likely be necessary to teach the system how to generate accurate and relevant references for the content it generates. The system would need to be trained to recognize patterns in the training data that correspond to references, and then use this information to generate references for new content it generates. This would likely involve a combination of supervised and unsupervised learning, where the system is first trained on labeled data to learn how to recognize reference patterns, and then further trained on unlabeled data to refine its understanding of reference generation.
Sorry if the questions seem illogical. i wanted to make sure that my overall idea was feasible and bounce ideas for implementation off of something or someone.
No need to apologize! It's great to explore ideas and brainstorm potential solutions. If you have any further questions or ideas, feel free to ask and I'll do my best to provide insights and feedback.
Could you describe in medium technical detail the ways that a multi-modal neural network design (involving the overall system in this discussion) and the general structuring of how the HMM, Bayesian inference, and fuzzy logic, in multiple general formats or outputs?
Sure, I can provide a general description of how a multimodal neural network could be designed to work with the overall system, and how the HMM, Bayesian inference, and fuzzy logic might be incorporated.
A multimodal neural network is a type of neural network that can process multiple types of data inputs, such as text, images, and audio, and learn to make predictions based on these inputs. In the case of the intelligence validation and dissemination system we have been discussing, a multimodal neural network could be used to process multiple sources of data, such as text documents, social media posts, and images or videos, and learn to identify patterns and correlations between these different types of data.
The HMM (hidden Markov model) is a statistical model that can be used to model sequences of data, where the underlying state of the data is not directly observable. In the context of the intelligence validation and dissemination system, an HMM could be used to model sequences of events or actions that may be related to a specific threat or activity, such as a sequence of social media posts or a series of suspicious transactions.
Bayesian inference is a statistical method for updating probabilities based on new evidence or information. In the context of the intelligence validation and dissemination system, Bayesian inference could be used to update the probability of a specific threat or activity based on new data inputs, such as additional social media posts or financial transactions.
Fuzzy logic is a mathematical framework for dealing with uncertainty and imprecision. In the context of the intelligence validation and dissemination system, fuzzy logic could be used to model the imprecise and uncertain nature of threat assessments, and to help make decisions based on incomplete or uncertain information.
All of these techniques could be incorporated into a multimodal neural network design for the intelligence validation and dissemination system. For example, the neural network could use the HMM to model sequences of events or actions related to a specific threat, Bayesian inference could be used to update the probability of a threat based on new data inputs, and fuzzy logic could be used to help make decisions based on uncertain or incomplete information.
Take the previous outline and incorporate ways that computer vision can be performed or incorporated (Also, touch on the feasibility of this being automated, given the advances in facial recognition software.) with the same logic, inference, and HMM.
Certainly! Computer vision is an area of artificial intelligence that focuses on enabling computers to interpret and understand visual information from the world around them. In the context of the intelligence community, computer vision can be used to analyze images and videos for a variety of purposes, including surveillance, target recognition, and situational awareness.
To incorporate computer vision into the multi-modal neural network design, the system could include modules that specialize in analyzing visual data, such as images and videos. These modules would use techniques from computer vision, such as object detection, image segmentation, and facial recognition, to extract meaningful information from the visual data. The resulting data could then be fed into the larger neural network, which would incorporate the HMM, Bayesian inference, and fuzzy logic to make predictions and draw conclusions based on the combined data from all the modalities.
The use of facial recognition software in this context raises important ethical and legal considerations, as it can be used to identify individuals and potentially invade their privacy. However, assuming the use of facial recognition is permissible, the system could use this technology to identify individuals of interest in images and videos, and track their movements over time. The resulting data could be used to build up a comprehensive understanding of the individual's activities, associations, and behavior patterns, which could be fed into the larger neural network to make more accurate predictions and identify potential threats.
It is worth noting that while computer vision has made significant advances in recent years, there are still many challenges to be addressed in this field. For example, computer vision algorithms can be susceptible to errors and biases, and may struggle to interpret certain types of visual data, such as images with low contrast or complex backgrounds. Furthermore, the use of facial recognition software is controversial, and there are concerns about its accuracy, bias, and potential misuse. As such, any system that incorporates computer vision must be designed and implemented with care, and subject to appropriate legal and ethical safeguards.
Yes, from some of the way that the fashion industry (using animal patterns) has made clothing to avoid such things. Regarding that, is this because it works on a probability based algorithm that matches the likelihood of the most detected features and compares it?
Yes, you are correct. Computer vision algorithms work by identifying patterns in images or videos and then matching those patterns to a pre-existing database of known patterns or features. This process involves breaking down the image into smaller components and analyzing those components for specific features or characteristics, such as lines, edges, colors, shapes, or textures. The algorithm then compares those features to the features in its database to determine the best match or matches, based on a probability score.
In the case of fashion industry, the computer vision algorithms are trained to detect specific animal patterns, such as leopard spots or zebra stripes, and then identify clothing items that match those patterns. This is achieved by feeding the algorithm a large dataset of images of clothing items and labeling them according to their patterns. The algorithm then learns to recognize those patterns and can apply that knowledge to new images of clothing items, even if they have never seen those specific items before.
Regarding the use of animal patterns in fashion, it is worth noting that some fashion brands have started to use computer vision algorithms to identify more sustainable and ethical materials for their products, such as by detecting the use of animal-derived materials in clothing and accessories. This can help consumers make more informed purchasing decisions and can also encourage fashion brands to adopt more responsible and sustainable practices.
Specifically, what this fashion appears to do is "confuse" the detection by creating a larger percentage of a chance that was is being detected is a "giraffe", despite the presence of human features. Thoughts?
Yes, that's correct. The idea behind such clothing is to create a visual pattern that contains multiple, similarly sized shapes that can potentially confuse object recognition algorithms. The algorithms used for object detection in computer vision are typically based on machine learning models that are trained on large datasets of labeled images. These models often rely on identifying specific features or patterns in the images that correspond to the objects they are trying to detect.
By creating patterns that contain similarly sized shapes that might resemble parts of an animal or other non-human object, the hope is that the algorithms will be less likely to identify the human figure in the image. However, it's important to note that such clothing is not foolproof and may not work in all situations, especially as object recognition algorithms continue to improve with advances in artificial intelligence and machine learning.
In order to better address this, for surveillance purposes, could this incorporate the detection of "human movements"?
Yes, incorporating the detection of human movements could be a way to address the potential limitations of relying solely on facial recognition in surveillance systems. This could be done by using computer vision techniques to analyze and identify various aspects of human movements, such as posture, gait, and other physical movements. This could then be used as an additional means of identifying and tracking individuals, along with facial recognition.
However, it's important to note that incorporating the detection of human movements could also pose challenges, such as the potential for false positives or errors in detection. Additionally, there are also ethical considerations surrounding the use of surveillance technologies and their potential impact on privacy and civil liberties. Therefore, any such systems would need to be carefully designed and implemented with these considerations in mind

“The lover carves into his soul the model of the beloved. In that way, the soul of the lover becomes the mirror in which the image of the loved one is reflected.” - Marsilio Ficino, Commentary on Plato's Symposium
Nietzsche’s criticisms of Hegel are often conflated with Schopenhauer’s. Often by people who type things like, “I’m in the Schopenhauer camp when it comes to Hegel and his ilk.” In a series of Beeps-and-Boops they copy-and-paste Schopenhauer’s loathing without any of Schopenhauer’s substance (which would require actually engaging with Schopenhauer and Hegel) instead these Thinkers exists as little framed photos on a candle covered shrine in Geocities. Even if they’re correct they’re still wrong and worthy of immediate scorn and derision. We must express the most profound sense of Christian Pity and Charity at the sight of their nakedness.
It’s easy to spiral on this particular subject but unbecoming, revealing, even damning. What they don’t seem to process, is that the seethe and the scolding and the tantrums are in their manner the highest form of compliment either philosopher could muster. That the younger Schopenhauer’s response to Hegel’s semantic blunder should be a kind of ecstatic fury that propelled his career as a philosopher. That Schopenhauer is endearing when he puts pen to paper and writes:
“May Hegel's philosophy of absolute nonsense - three-fourths cash and one-fourth crazy fancies - continue to pass for unfathomable wisdom without anyone suggesting as an appropriate motto for his writings Shakespeare's words: "Such stuff as madmen tongue and brain not," or, as an emblematical vignette, the cuttle-fish with its ink-bag, creating a cloud of darkness around it to prevent people from seeing what it is, with the device: mea caligine tutus. - May each day bring us, as hitherto, new systems adapted for University purposes, entirely made up of words and phrases and in a learned jargon besides, which allows people to talk whole days without saying anything; and may these delights never be disturbed by the Arabian proverb: "I hear the clappering of the mill, but I see no flour." - For all this is in accordance with the age and must have its course.”
Tempestuous little man. Without Hegel’s error what would’ve become of Schopenhauer? Would he have attempted to actively compete against Hegel? Hegel as the Phantom of Eric Roberts in the Killers Miss Atomic Bomb music video? The Other-Ghost, Hegel’s Smirking Geist cucking Schopenhauer, Sophia in his arms, Schopenhauer casts the wedding ring to the ground and runs away. As was the case in respect to Kierkegaard. Cucked out of marriage by the Ghost & Machine. “And it’s all in my head, but she’s touching his chest now, he takes off her dress now, LET ME GO. And I just can’t look it’s killing me. And taking control.”
An error is a wound is a mercy.
Nietzsche is different. Unlike Schopenhauer he doesn’t pretend to create a superior metaphysical system (the Platonic Carnivalesque) to rival Hegel’s.
I think the spirit of a Nietzschean critique of Hegel is best exemplified by aphorism 317 in Daybreak,
“The judgment of the evening. - He who reflects on the work he has done during the day and during his life, but does so when he has finished it and is tired, usually arrives at a melancholy conclusion: this however is not the fault of his day or his life, but of his tiredness. - In the midst of our work we usually have no leisure to pass judgment on life and existence, nor in the midst of our pleasures: but if we should happen to do so, we should no longer agree with him who waited for the seventh day and its repose before he decided that everything was very beautiful - he had let the better moment go by.”
Hegel as a Christian Nihilist and the Dialectic as Slave Morality. All finite forms of life attain their truth in the process of self-overcoming. Hegel uses Negativity to pacify an excess of Negativity. Hegel’s System annuls the Abyss. The Truth of any given determination is realized in its exhaustion. This Truth is what Remains. As part of a Whole. Eternal. Defeat for Hegel is what brings us to our Truth. That the subject’s defeat should purify it of its particularities and its impositions. My thoughts are already part of reality. This Knowledge leads to renunciation. I’m no longer attempting to impose or enforce myself on reality, to shape it in the heat of my perverse gaze. I look up at the stars and recognize a series of sores oozing out a brilliant light. In the Beggar’s Eye I see Christ. Saint Lazarus draped in indigo rags surrounded by dogs. In the Eyes of the King of the World, Christ. In the Illness the Cure. In the Poison the Medicine.
Hegel stands next to his student, the student looks up at the starry sky in awe. “They are the abode of the blessed.” Hegel grumbles, “The stars, hum! Hum! The stars are only a gleaming leprosy in the sky.’” Like Lorde, he never watches the stars because there’s so much down here. As he puts it in one lecture,
“The human being is this Night, this empty nothing which contains everything in its simplicity - a wealth of infinitely many representations, images, none of which occur to it directly, and none of which are not present. This [is] the Night; the interior of [human] nature, existing here - pure Self - [and] in phantasmagoric representations it is night everywhere: here a bloody head suddenly shoots up and there another white shape, only to disappear as suddenly. We see this Night when we look a human being in the eye, looking into a Night which turns, terrifying. [For from his eyes] the night of the world hangs out towards us.”
Let us then briefly think with Hegel whose underling problem is, from the very beginning of his thought, that of love.
What is Blue?
According to Goethe in his Theory of Colors,
“As yellow is always accompanied with light, so it may be said that blue still brings a principle of darkness with it.
This color has a peculiar and almost indescribable effect on the eye. As a hue it is powerful — but it is on the negative side, and in its highest purity is, as it were, a stimulating negation. Its appearance, then, is a kind of contradiction between excitement and repose.
As the upper sky and distant mountains appear blue, so a blue surface seems to retire from us.
But as we readily follow an agreeable object that flies from us, so we love to contemplate blue — not because it advances to us, but because it draws us after it.
Blue gives us an impression of cold, and thus, again, reminds us of shade. We have before spoken of its affinity with black.
Rooms which are hung with pure blue, appear in some degree larger, but at the same time empty and cold.
The appearance of objects seen through a blue glass is gloomy and melancholy.”
Goethe and a defense of Goethe’s critique of Newton’s Opticks unites Hegel and Schopenhauer. That color is produced by light and by what stands against it. Goethe who said that were the eye not of the sun how could we behold the light. Brilliant in the poetic continuity this expresses. A golden chain from Empedocles to Plato and Aristotle to the Stoics and so on. Summarized here elegantly by the physicist Arthur Zajonc, “the interior light coalesces with daylight, like to like, forming thereby a single homogenous body of light. That body, a marriage of inner light and outer, forges a link between the objects of the world and the soul. It becomes the bridge along which the subtle motions of an exterior object may pass, causing the sensation of sight.” Aristotle proposed the existence of a Proton Organon or Primary Instrument, an organ of congealed pneuma, located in the heart, that reconciles the division between the sensible and the intelligible. The Stoics would go on the rename this Mercurial (both volatile-subtle and fixed) Instrument, the Hegemonikon, the synthesizer or icon-maker. Whose function is to produce phantasms. The instrument through which the soul transmits all vital activities to the body and also the body’s way of capturing the sensations from the five senses and translating them into phantasms or images that could be understood by the soul.
The Lover longing loving unrequited. Smiling like she means it. Being-thrown into this World. Never fully at home, refracted, out of joint. That this affliction is our common inheritance. I think this is our patrimony. We are the heirs of this Abyss. It is to some degree I think fundamentally "Western" fundamentally "Romantic". Regardless of political opinion or alignment. It speaks to us. Through us. Perhaps it's because the Republic of Letters is largely comprised of Melancholic Perverts. Nostalgia or homesickness, as a longing for a reality which can only be possessed through the imagination and through the dream, the genuine site of anamnesis or recollection in the unreal. Evoking for us the movement of the soul described by the Venetian Magician-Philosopher Guilio Camillo; descending through the Lunar Gate of Cancer (of man), drinking from the cup of Bacchus and, depending on how much one imbibes, forgetting about all the things ‘up there’ before making our way back through the Saturnine Gate of Capricorn (of the gods). Tightrope walking to Luna. I see her so very clearly. My Corporeal Dasha, Giordano Bruno would rebuke me harshly, that I should Simp as I do for "these eyes, these ears, this blush, this tongue, this tooth, this hair, this dress, this coat, this little shoe .. . , this sun in eclipse, this crazy person, this slut, this stench, this deathbed, this privy, this mensturation, this corpse... which, by means of a superficial appearance, a shadow, a phantasm, a dream, a Circe-like charm in the service of procreation, deceives us by taking the form of beauty." Fuck it. Yet there is an Image behind the Image, a Woman behind my woman. The Platonic Dasha. Daria the Luminous Homunculi. Madonna Intelligenza who has served as a guide throughout this journey. “Keep your eyes on me.” I wobble on the tightrope, your eyes are what kept me, you and your rose-wreathed heart lit. A Unity-of-Opposites. Georges Bataille writes in The Sorcerer's Apprentice, “The image through which, in an instant, destiny has become alive thus finds itself projected into a world foreign to everyday agitation. The woman toward whom a man is draw, as to his human destiny, no longer belongs to the space that money controls. Her sweetness escapes the real world, through which she moves without allowing herself to be any more imprisoned than a dream. Misfortune would ravage the spirit anyone who lets himself be possessed by the need to reduce her.”
On Love Hegel writes, “Since love is a sensing of something living, lovers can be distinct only in so far as they are mortal and do not look upon this possibility of separation as if there were really a separation or as if reality were a sort of conjunction between possibility and existence. In the lovers there is no matter; they are a living whole.” That the Unity of Love is informed precisely by the division or difference between the Lover and the Beloved. The Union of Love, “…can remain so only as long as the separate lovers are opposed solely in the sense that the one loves and the other is loved, i.e., that each separate lover is one organ in a living whole.”
Here we might ponder Hegel’s Philosophy as a Philosophy of Death. The vespers-born melancholy conclusion is perhaps being that all Love is Unrequited. As Marsilio Ficino notes in his Commentary on Plato’s Symposium, “Insofar as it is death, it is bitter, and insofar it is voluntary, it is sweet. He who loves dies; for his consciousness, oblivious of himself, is devoted exclusively to the loved one, and a man who is not conscious of himself is certainly not conscious in himself. Therefore, a soul that is so affected, does not function in itself, because the primary function of the soul is consciousness…. Therefore, the unrequited lover lives nowhere; he is completely dead.”
Blue the color of Sulfur ignited. Blue the color of the Ocean of the Dead, of Dasein. The blue knees of a prayerful lover and the blue lips of the lovelorn fool, “Here’s to my love - O true apothecary! Thy drugs are quick. - Thus with a kiss I die.” That the smell of bitter almonds should remind the good doctor of unrequited love.
Such a melancholy conclusion can only be produced by a proper melancholic. Melancholy was regarded by Ficino as one of seven exemptions in which the bond between body and soul was weakened, allowing the soul to take flight and acquire the gifts of premonition and clairvoyance. Saint Albertus Magnus writes of the two kinds of melancholy. Hot melancholy and its two primary effects on the subject’s phantasmic activity he describes thusly,
“The first consists in the mobility of the phantasms within the subtle organism: the second, in the great capacity of phantasms to stay impressed upon the pneuma. This brings with it, besides a prodigious memory, an extraordinary capacity for analysis. This is why, Ficino tells us, 'all the great man who have ever excelled in an art have been melancholic. Either because they were born so or become so through assiduous meditation.”
Philosophy begins with this Unhappy Consciousness. The Alienated Soul lithe and loveless, which is the consciousness of self as a divided nature, a doubled and merely contradictory being. Dissatisfied with its Self and the World it retreats inward, like a Nymph fleeing Pan, fleeing into Reflection, which might likewise take the form of a fleeing into Nature (think Thoreau’s Walden). Herein is the mirk. This Narcissistic dialectic between Subject and Phantasmata. The Ouroboric Narcissism of the Beautiful Soul.
Another affliction associated with Melancholy is Hysteria. The Psychoanalyst Jacques Lacan refers to Hegel as the most Sublime Hysteric. The Hysteric asks questions because they experience their own desire as if it were the desire of the Other.
The Spirit retreats into a pre-rational state of life, a Life of Feeling, that this feeling expresses a movement in which the soul is no longer simply natural, but able to realize a mastery over itself.
“Finally, in the “feeling of self,” the individual becomes “a sensitive totality.” But the gradual formation of the ‘I’ is paradoxically accompanied by a loss of fluidity, leading to “ruin and disaster within the conscious spirit.” This crisis results from the fact that the subject, being constituted in a free relation to the self, feels at the same time like ‘another’, and this tension pushes it into a state of ‘trembling’ (durchzittern).” The Future of Hegel, Plasticity, Temporality, Dialectics, Catherine Malabou.
How does Hegel escape? Or perhaps more accurately how can we escape this trap? This Pneumatic Mirror-World. Of Subject-Mirror-Phantasmata. The Romantic Prison? Of one who learns of Love in order to be Loveless? Hold that thought.
Returning to the color blue, the psychologist James Hillman writes in Alchemical Psychology,
“This is the realm of the alchemical (kyanos, blue; kynos, dog); blue takes on a dog-like quality: hangdog and dirty dog, both. Why does depression seek porn? For arousal? For Eros and Priapos and Venus to come to life? Rather, I think, to maintain the depression, to re-direct the verticality of desire downward and backward (doggy fashion), clipping the wings of eros. Pornography - an opus contra naturam, a counter-instinct of the psyche, perverting the conventionally natural, enslaving, torturing; an erotics of despair.
To translate these esoteric references into the blue dog’s perverse obsessions we discover this: Invisible Hades appears in the world as Dionysus. There is a divine (i.e., invisible, unfathomable) impulse that seeks to enter ordinary life. It wants to know the soul in the Biblical sense. Carnal knowledge, intimate knowledge, knowledge of intimates. (Hence the innumerable images of copulation throughout alchemy.) The soul longs for this copulation, and sings its longing in the blues, blueing its own flesh, drawing the divine down into the ordinary body. (Hence the blues’ libidinous mood.)”
My Cup Overfloweth.
Pure thinking-subjectivity is phantasmological or hauntological. The role of the Phantasmata in the context of medieval philosophy, is described exquisitely by Mauricio Loza in The Hounds of Actaeon. The Phantasm or Phantom is understood “as a mental image with effects reaching not only the level of perception but that of social construction, the phantasm exists in the twilight between the objective and the subjectivity, the material and the immaterial, a zone of indistinction between reality and unreality. This is why the phantasm pulls us towards the twilight from whence it comes: Its central action is to drag us into the shadow of the world.”
Minerva’s Owls unfurls its wings only with the falling of dusk.
For the great Persian scholar Avicenna, sensory phantasms were processed through five virtues or powers corresponding to five cavities in the cranium; phantasy or common sense, imagination, cogitative virtue, the estimative virtue, and finally the reminiscent virtue. According to Georgio Agamben in his work Stanzas: Word and Phantasm in Western Culture, Avicenna conceives of this gradation through the inner senses as a "progressive 'disrobing' (denudatio) of the phantasm from its material accidents."
Material accidents in this instance, evoking the etymological origins and proliferation into common speech of the word "accident" itself.
Ad - 'towards to' and cadere - 'to fall'. The Latin Accident - 'happening' used in late Middle English to refer to 'an Event'. Used to refer to the parts of the sacred bread and wine that remained after the transubstantiation through the sacrament of The Holy Eucharist,
“Thus, throughout the history of Scholasticism we have to do with a sort of triangle of intellectual forces: Realism and Nominalism fighting a five hundred years’ war, and the Church, in its official capacity, anxiously endeavouring to hold the balance between them. One wonders whether the three parties to this ancient dispute may not have found symbolic expression in Tweedledum, Tweedledee, and the ‘Monstrous Crow’ of nursery legend. But it is no disparagement of the intellects of that day to say that to us the chief interest of their polemics lies in the many new and accurate instruments of thought with which they provided us. The common word accident is an excellent example. We use it every day without realizing that it was only imported from Latin by the indefatigable efforts of the Schoolmen to reconcile the doctrine of Realism with the Catholic dogma of Transubstantiation. The accidents, when they first came into the English language, meant that part of the sacred bread and wine which remained after the substance had been transmuted into the body and blood of Christ.” History in English Words, Owen Barfield
Here we see a process of Pneuma returning to Pneuma through this process of Rising and Falling. That the Absolute Idea is a Radiant Star. That the Phantasm undergoes a kind of purification process, from the sensible to the spiritual to the mnemonic. That this purification entails a kind of excremental remainder. A material accident. An excess which goes?
This brings to mind the question that the Sophist Parmenides (in Plato's Parmenides) raises to Socrates, which forces Socrates to admit to his own limitations. It utterly stumps the Apostate Tragedian. That being whether or not there is an eidos or Pure Idea of the lowest material things. Things like excrement and dust and I might add these eyes, these ears, this blush, this tongue, this tooth, this hair, this dress, this coat, this little shoe .. . , this sun in eclipse, this crazy person, this slut, this stench, this deathbed, this privy, this mensturation, this corpse...
The Ghost and The Star
Recall the episode with Hegel comparing stars to leprosy sores. This got out around town and Hegel found himself having to address this controversy,
"It has been rumoured round the town that I have compared the stars to a rash on an organism where the skin erupts in an countless mass of red spots: or to an ant-heap in which too, there is Understanding and necessity. In fact, I do rate what is concrete higher than what is abstract, and an animality that develops into no more than a slime, higher than the starry host."
The rock is a rock.
Hegel defines the Domain of Art as the “sensible appearing of the idea”… or the Idea given expression in Sensuous Form. This is to be understood as The Star shining through The Ghost. This opposition between Form and Content. This Contradiction is what animates the Motion of Spirit. From Art towards Philosophy.
She is and is not. Ah wait. I'm not her. But in this regard I am the same and suddenly the Ghost is Concretized.
Alexandre Kojève in his Lectures on the Phenomenology of Spirit writes,
"It is known that Hegel asserted that his knowledge is circular, and that circularity is the necessary and sufficient condition of absolute truth - that is, of complete, universal, and definitive (or "eternal") truth."
The Hysterics quandary finds some resolution. The question of the Other is reflexively transformed into the answer to the question.
"In the Wise Man's absolute Knowledge, each question is its own answer, but is so only because he goes through the totality of questions-answers that forms the entirety of the System. Likewise, in his existence, the Wise Man remains in identity with himself, he is closed up in himself; but he remains in identity with himself because he passes through the totality of others, and is closed up in himself. Which (according to the Phenomenology) means, quite simply, that the only man who can be Wise is a Citizen of the universal and homogeneous State - that is to say, the State of the Tun Aller und Jeder, in which each man exists only through and for the whole, and the whole exists through and for each man."
We return to Self-Consciousness. We're not the same. We're different. Tonight.
Eros pins Pan. Chronos clips Eros’ wings. Compulsion is overcome by Love. Love is overcome by Time. Love can only be actualized and concretized through Time. When it must Dwell in a given Space. This is the Poetic-Plasticity. This is the Commitment.
“Desire has reserved to itself the pure negating of the object and thereby unalloyed feeling of self. This satisfaction, however, just for that reason is itself only a state of evanescence, for it lacks objectivity or subsistence. Labour, on the other hand, is desire restrained and checked, evanescence delayed and postponed; in other words, labour shapes and fashions the thing.” (Phenomenology of Spirit)
We begin with the Problem of Love and in the Problem find the Solution. Love is the Answer to the Question of Love. Loving is to give what one does not have.
Our Unrequited Love is Mutual,
“In fact, there is only one death in mutual love, but there are two resurrections, for a lover dies within himself the moment he forgets about himself, but he returns to life immediately in his loved one as soon as the loved ones embraces him in loving contemplation. He is resurrected once more when he finally recognizes himself in his beloved and no longer doubts that he is loved. O, happy death, which is followed by two loves. O, wondrous exchange in which each gives himself up for the other, and has the other, yet does not cease to have himself.” Commentary on Plato's Symposium, Marsilio Ficino.
To be Overcome is to Animate. This is the Labor of Love. Productive Labor as Art.
You understand why Hegel is so very frustrating? In his System. In the Movement from East to West back East. We find the Heiros Gamos, the Sacred Matrimony of Eros and Sophia, and in this Unity of Opposites the philosopher becomes the Sage. In the production of this Heiros Gamos, Hegel's System becomes the Perfect Pneumatic Circle.
​
I make of Nietzsche a traveling companion through Hegel’s Aesthetics. Why? Because The Birth of Tragedy is crudely Hegelian. Here we find ourselves encountering what is so very frustrating about Hegel and his Pneumatic Circle, his method and his system. From the occultists perspective this is because Hegel’s System is an Artifice of Sacral or Mythic Time, of Cyclical Time. The genuinely infuriating thing is realizing that the Artifice, the “Copy” is in fact the original. This is why some speak of the feminizing effect of Hegel. Feminizing in the way Achilles’ is feminized by Scamander. That not only do we never step in the same river twice and that the river is the site of the Doom-driven Hero’s self-fulfilling prophesy.
As Nietzsche himself puts it, “one cannot refute an eye disease.” I thought it would be stimulating to read The Birth of Tragedy through the lens of Hegel’s Lectures on Aesthetics. Framing Nietzsche and his insights within a Hegelian Tableaux. Nietzsche who denounces Metaphysical Systematization. Demurely objecting he says, “unhand me woman,” with a little blush. Does he mean it? I don’t think it was Hegel’s Dialectical Method or Logic that Nietzsche objected too. Denouncing instead the refraction between the Philosopher and the Logic (an ironic detachment)… that the Philosopher and his Logic are not two separate beings. That for him the Philosopher is Alkahest or Universal Solvent. Body and Soul collapse into a singularity, Art and Artists. No, in a sense Nietzsche celebrates the animating antagonism at the Heart of Hegel’s work. That this refraction is what results in the System which Nietzsche saw as modeling contemporary German Bourgeois fearfulness and timidity simply solidifies into Consensus. “I’m old and I don’t want to be alone.” That the System should be a kind of Metaphysical Prison concretized around the Fiery Pneuma, the brilliance of Hegel’s Esprit.
The application of the Dialectical Method is evidenced throughout The Birth of Tragedy; The Apollonian thesis, the Dionysian antithesis, the Tragic synthesis. Or perhaps in a manner more accurate to Hegel; The Dionysian Abstract, the Apollonian Negation, the Tragic Negation-of-Negation, and the Socratic Concretization.
The section dedicated to a retrospective appraisal of The Birth of Tragedy in Ecce Homo, Nietzsche concludes that all the good things he had ever written about Richard Wagner were actually about him. He was talking about himself the whole time without even realizing it, “"Even psychologically all decisive traits of my own nature are projected into Wagner’s - the close proximity of the brightest and the most calamitous forces, the will to power as no man ever possessed it, the ruthless courage in matters of the spirit, the unlimited power to learn without damage to the will to act.” Poor Nietzsche he who was too high-strung for his own good. Comes to a conclusion paralleling Hegel as it concerns Art, specifically Music. Perhaps one day, there will be Dionysian future for music. But for now, the Pneuma roils through space-and-time, and it culminates in Nietzsche or Zarathustra, as the Last Philosopher or the first Tragic Philosopher. Who despite all the aristocratic pretensions cannot help but write in a popular and accessible manner. Writing into motion the conditions for the Dionysian resurgence he had once thought was being spearheaded by the compositions of Richard Wagner.
He goes so far as to be both Beethoven and Goethe’s response to Beethoven in the anticipation of his works and in the need for them to remain ‘exclusive’ despite their undeniably popular character. Goethe in his old age weeping softly to Beethoven’s sonatas, proclaims “If such music were performed by a large orchestra, it would destroy everything around it.”
The stylish and inspirited Vitalism of Nietzsche’s ruminations is Pneumatic. A red dot in the center of a dark blue sphere.
Dialectics reveals an Infinite Spiral. The Circle divided by a straight-line. Containing the spiral. The straight-line breaks through the circle. Above and Below. Revealing three other spheres. Above the configuration one spiral. Beneath it two spirals; one winding up and the other winding down. On a Hegelian theological note. God the Father and God the Holy Spirit proceed from God the Son. “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” John 1:1.
Here we might locate the Traumatic Temporality of Christianity. The introduction of History. Time as Chronos. With God the Son. Without the historical personage of Jesus Christ, there wouldn’t be a Trinitarian Unity and Division. From God the Son proceeds God the Father and God the Holy Spirit. In this wound we are brought to an awareness of another Time. A Timeless-Time or a Time sans History. “In the Beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God,” a time in which God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit had always been. The Triune God. Whether or not, in this Aionic Time, God the Holy Spirit proceeds from God the Father or from God the Father and God the Son, is the division between East and West.
This Times overlap and nowhere is this more evident than in the anachronisms or perhaps more accurately, the Archeo-modernity, of the romantic painting. Or perhaps further still, in the Ethiopian depiction of Christ, in the Korean depiction of Christ, and in the Italian depiction of Christ. Black Jesus, Asian Jesus, and European Jesus.
As that obscure note by Nietzsche produced by Gilles Deleuze in his work Nietzsche and Philosophy goes, “Universal chaos which excluded all purposeful activity does not contradict the idea of the cycle; for this idea is only an irrational necessity.” Here we see Nietzsche approaching something akin to the Infinite Dialectic realized and developed in Mao Zedong’s contributions to Dialectical and Historical Materialism. As Mao writes in On Contradiction, “The universality or absoluteness of contradiction has a twofold meaning. One is that contradiction exists in the process of development of all things, and the other is that in the process of development of each thing a movement of opposites exists from beginning to end.”
The stylish and inspirited Vitalism of Nietzsche’s ruminations is Pneumatic. Being Pneumatic it is Phantasmic. Here we locate the Girardian critique of Nietzsche. As Nietzsche proclaims in Ecce Homo that everything his was praising Wagner for is in fact praise he was unconsciously directing at himself, at his values or innate dignities, the obverse is true. For Nietzsche every great philosophical work is a confessional, an involuntary and unconscious autobiography. He invents the Overman and by extension the Last Man. Will to Power and Ressentiment. One cannot exist without the other and in Nietzsche they collapse into a singularity (a point worth keeping in mind when we eventually venture into Deleuze and his Anti-Hegelianism). The Last Philosopher. In sum Girard’s contention is that in the production of these Phantasmata, Nietzsche ends up offering to his audience another Scapegoat. The Man of Ressentiment and the Slave Morality. Obviously within Nietzsche the potential for this is treated triumphantly. Nietzsche refuses to have his Poetic Revelry stifled by timorous considerations. That stupid people might read his works and take it as an excuse to persecute Christians or to locate the Man of Ressentiment in their political adversaries. That they might completely forget the contradictions inherent to the very office of “Tragic Philosopher” and how the Vagabond and the Prophet are a singular figure, hybrid and lovelorn and glorious. “If I had power I’d know how to immediately and brutally exercise it.” None of this concerns Nietzsche. People will misinterpret you regardless. Still the points are well worth reflecting on and prove stimulating as we move from the Symbolic-Classical to the Classical-Romantic.

A recent post asked, 'how would you write a Tyranid story?'. This is my response. There might be more if the mood strikes, as the idea - and the challenge! - are definitely tempting. We'll see how it shakes out.
A TIME TO EVERY PURPOSE
Falling.
We are falling.
If space is bent - if the gravities of all the little lights and rocks align against us - then we can do nothing but fall. Down the darkling way. Down the four-dimensional plane. Down, down, driven down. We are thrust through the veil on Narvhal’s horn; we pierce the distance between here and there. We are carried on the carrier-beast’s final breath, riven by plasma and lance and exotic matter. Farewell, Narvhal. Farewell, our pursuers - farewell, for now. We shall surely meet again.
Will we be ready when we do?
Now, we must tell you, there will be deceit. We do not wish to call it deception, though clearly, we deceive. We speak to you in words we hope you will understand. We ask for your patience.
Imagine…
Imagine, then, a castle. Imagine grey-brick redoubts, grand old walls wrought by ancient masons that keep out the sprawl of old, dark woods. Imagine their bare branches, riven by snow and season, their rough, tough roots sunk deep into frozen earth. Imagine moving through the courtyards and gardens and finding not a soul, the attendants and groundskeepers and courtiers gone, lost, destroyed.
Imagine the creak of rusted hinges and protesting timber as you open the inner gates. Imagine an ornamental indoor lake filled with the deepest black you have ever seen, the darkness that dwells in the space beyond a dream, and know that the Lady is still here.
She leans on the balustrade, eyes twinkling, snug in fur and downy robes. The cold and isolation do not touch her. She is not weak, here. She is not shriven of biomatter and the last of her brood guard, her mantle seared and cracked by Imperial malice, frozen blood on the black carapace as it sculls slowly, painfully, through the void. She is whole and complete and wonderful and all-knowing and she cannot possibly fail.
‘Come to me,’ she whispers, and all must obey.
Now, imagine the smallest thing possible. A quark, a genome, something closer to an idea than a reality. Something so infinitely delicate can only be a child. It does not squall or cry in its amniotic cradle - it simply looks to the Lady, attentive as only those who yearn for purpose can be…
(Remember: this is not a castle, there is not the smell of woods in winter and age-crisped paper and elderly oak. These are metaphors, these are similies, these are likenesses used to convey a meaning so that you may understand what is about to happen within the ruined, half-dead husk of the Norn Queen, her last unmurdered birthing chamber and what few potential zygotes remain.)
…and the Lady guides the child up the swaying stairs, through the silent halls where knowledge sleeps (less, now, that the fleet has been so diminished, that a connection to the greater mind has been lost, but still, the distance is vast, vast as the space between neurons can be).
Together, they reach the observatory with its glittering silver latticed roof, and its gold-inlaid telescope aligned to the heavens. We watch, rapt, as possibilities pass us by.
Here is a world locked to stare at the system sun, one face afire, one cloaked forever in darkness. Narvhal’s cry echoes deep in the polar ice, trapped, refracted, and ultimately amplified. The hasp will be broken, tomorrow or in ten millennia, and the faces will reverse in a single day. In one destructive rotation, one brief spasm - utterly insignificant in the cosmic span - the world will shrug off all the creatures that dwell upon it. Unsuited to our purpose, even if the chance of discovery were not so great, but a valuable lesson. The Lady is satisfied that, even as it perishes, the carrier-beast dooms a thousandfold of its slayers. Efficient, as such things are measured.
Here is a world of springs and seas. Rich life teems in the waters and builds high on the shores away from the toxic volcanoes and gas vents that ridge the continents. Lethal to the natives. Useful to us. What could lair in those untouched places - what power could be coaxed from those hidden troves, its strengths married to ours? Rich metals. Deep deposits. Yes, perhaps, if the brood had not been so vastly reduced. Even a creche of infiltrator forms would suffice.
No, the Lady shakes her head. ‘Do you see?’ Her tone is not mocking, not condescending - the child has overlooked something that her experience has not. ‘The Inquisition have chosen this as their home. They seek the same seclusion we do. Their agents are among the population, and their attention would be quickly drawn to any attempt at planetfall.’
Ah. Of course. Our pursuers have others sworn to their same cause - some even more vigilant, even more vicious. Their presence is a concern. We will not risk their attention before we must. We turn away from the life-rich world for now.
Here is a world of cities, reaching to the clouds and the planetary crust. A mechanical metropolis that almost blinds the oculus with its bright potential. Even the Lady betrays a trace of hunger as she considers the possibilities. Surely in that choked, toxic atmosphere, we could arrive unseen. But where? And after that, how would we protect her? The officialdom of these worlds is not the only danger - their petty rulers, their slum-lords and criminal masses are just as paranoid, just as fearful of the alien, the unknown, the visitors from the stars no matter how humble or hidden their guise.
‘We only have one chance at this,’ the Lady says. Again, she shakes her head, though not without regret. ‘I cannot make you strong enough to prevail here. The flaw is mine. We look again.’
Here is a world ruined in such fierce, spectacular fashion that it may only serve as an example of galactic chance rather than spawning ground. Stripped of atmosphere, shattered by endless meteorite impacts, this shield world has endured so much in its eyeblink life. The inner system crouches behind it - we dare go no closer, fearing the sensors and snares and ships that glitter between those worlds. They are closed to us. What else is there?
Here is a world stripped by radiation, inhabited only by freakish bacteria that the Lady blanches to behold. No. Here is a world that could serve us in a million years, as life nests close to its molten heart, the surface in tectonic upheaval. No. Here is a world that barely deserves the name, a dwarfish rogue that skitters on an erratic, outer orbit. Docks and outriggers festoon it, rock-breakers and asteroid mines. Perhaps, if they were less attentive, but they would be just as alert to extrasolar intruders as the inner system.
After all, their lives would depend on it.
Not the outpost planet, then, but the voidships that service it? Would that suffice? The Lady demurs. She looks away - she consults her library. She does not like trusting our fate to the hope the child can subdue a transport alone, that the transport will not be looked for, and that it will contain what she needs. So many variables. So many possibilities. What are, in short, the odds?
If she does nothing, we perish. If she chooses wrong, we perish. Ah, the burden of leadership, without the greater mind to consult, without the pleasing absence of responsibility that the lesser forms have. We feel for her. Failure is not in her blood, yet she must confront it.
Above us, the heavens whirl. Time advances. Ichor drools into the void. The Queen’s flukes waver in fatigue and pain.
The Lady considers. The child waits.
She makes to speak - then cocks an ear to listen, as if to catch a trace of far-off, almost-familiar music. A moment. Another. She blinks. And, suddenly, she smiles, as beatific as any saint as their faith is rewarded.
Yes. This will do. There is one light that shines brighter, and closer, than any other. A ship, a crew, and a very particular cargo.
Again, she beckons the child, and together they walk the library halls. So many passages are dark, and so many shelves are empty. The loss will likely never be truly healed. Not even in the warm embrace of the greater mind. It is the way of things, we know. We cannot forget the harm that was done to us - we are wounded to the core, in our intrinsic structure. What weapons the Imperials employed have done to us what nothing else ever has (ah, yes, but for the Death - when we lick our wounds, do they taste of that calamity?). That, alone, makes our survival imperative. We must return this knowledge to the greater mind.
This nook has very few tomes left. Imagine them bolted and chained, confined to their cages of solid wood, as though they were dangerous beasts warded against escape (and what could be more dangerous than knowledge, properly used? Are we not living proof of that?). Certainly, they are. We know what damage these secrets have wrought upon this galaxy, for ten thousand years of furious anger.
And now we will put it to a use not dissimilar to that intended by its creator. The Lady delights in that irony as she untraps a book and bends down to show the child.
‘They were called the Silver Shields.’ A page turns. ‘They protected their home, far from here, with certain codes of valour and certain modes of conduct.’ Another page. ‘They failed, of course, but their remnants linger still - we took this one beyond the Wound. A strange tale, and one I will tell you in time if you wish.’ Another page. ‘Do you see what I intend?’
Do we?
We see the shining silver, the curve of the plate, and the intended - and often attained - psychological effect. We are (oh so very) familiar with beacons. We understand the importance of signals and ceremonies. We do not dispute their illogic; it has delivered us prey more times than memory allows. We understand the concepts they cling to. We understand oppression, and we understand freedom.
Yes, we have an intimate understanding of freedom.
We are presented with a unique opportunity. We must, then, shape a unique solution. Adapt or perish is the fundamental law of the cosmos. We have made ourselves synonymous with that law, entwined ourselves with it, and we live - we thrive - at the expense of those that do not.
‘A chevalier. A knight.’ The Lady weaves the last zygotes into a pattern that melds the book and the purpose. It will take time. There is so much damage, so much that has been lost. ‘A champion, yes? To guard my slumber. To secure my reawakening. To lead those that believe to their earned reward. Do you understand?’
The child does not cry - it does not struggle as the weaving takes it. This is something strange, something that is not provided in the shaping maps, the hard-coded, well-worn paths that end as carnifex, termagant, tyrant and uncounted others. There is pain.
‘I am sorry,’ the Lady does not wipe at her misting eyes. ‘You have no swarm to command, and there is no place here for a lord. You deserve more, and I cannot grant it to you.’
Here, we must leave. The Queen’s last powers are focused on the child. She has nothing left for us. We wither. We die.
Our final sight is the Lady holding the child close.
‘Be brave,’ she whispers, already fading into hibernation, into the dreamless deep. ‘I love you.’
Then she is gone, and so are we.

CRTemudriver is working, Retroarch is configured with super-resolutions, and I'm finally collecting retroachievements on the consumer CRT @ native console and arcade resolution.
Windows 10- Radeon 5750 DVI-i to VGA to Aliexpress transcoder to component to Sony KV-32FS13 - 32" Trinitron. It's a thing of wonder. I bought a shit load of hardware and cables and adapters and other crap I didn't actually need in my quest to get a signal to this TV. Don't be me. Think before you buy- there's a few different ways to do this, and it can be pretty confusing at first.
I started HERE. I had to experiment a little bit with installing modes to get all the Retroarch cores working and wrap my head around super resolutions, and I had to manually change the x and y size to 0 in the main retroarch config after enabling CRTswitchres to get it all going. When I first got started, nothing would sync right to the TV because I didn't have the resolutions installed and it was defaulting to 1080p- This thread was the breakthrough on understanding usermodes for me. Once the software was straight I had to go into the TVs scary service menu and fix the huge overscan to make the picture usable at all. I chose to do it this way instead of using the arcadeOSD tool to avoid having to do it over and over for every resolution. I went ahead and installed Groovymame (and Fightcade too) but Retroarch was all I really needed in the end.
I don't have a second monitor hooked up- I instead use tightVNC server and usbmmid v2 to install a virtual second monitor, and set it as a system service to activate the virtual monitor on login. This way I can remote in and control the system at 1080p instead of 480i- much easier. The remote CRT screen actually stretches way out on account of the super resolution, but running tightVNC client at 75% scale gets me just the virtual 1080p screen to admin the system.
As far as input, I have a whole collection of OEM controllers and adapters and bluetooth for every system I play, and a home-made 2 player arcade control pedestal based on the ipac from Ultimarc. Update the control profiles in Retroarch and autoconfig inputs and it all pretty much just works. Add in the Retroarch runahead predictive input latency sorcery and it's basically black Fkn Magic as far as latency goes. It's just gone.
I hope this was helpful! the rest is just me gushing about how much fun I'm having.
I've been rocking SNES, Dreamcast, 32x, NES, and Lots of arcade games with 1:1 pixel emulation and it's glorious. I keep jumping between the real thing and emulation on the same screen looking for differences. I've found none. Any time anybody walks in the room they can just grab a random ass controller off the wall and jump right in like they just dropped a quarter into the slot.
I've also gotten a few games of Hades and dead cells in on the TV too, and I'm looking forward to seeing what other modern games I can fit into a 4:3 480i screen.
Plex seems to run fine as well, Standard def content looks great, and some of my lower quality content looks perfectly clean on this screen- which is actually better than the same content with the powered hdmi to vga adapter I had been using before swapping display adapters.
Next weekend will be front-end exploration. I'm a big fan of emulation station on both my retropie and Steamdeck, but the multiple screen setups and I've seen with Launchbox and Bigbox are pretty neat and look like they might be the ticket to integrating my massive steam library into this CRT setup as well. I would love to hear some suggestions.
The one thing I still cant quite solve is the retroarch on-screen notifications scaling to the super resolution and basically being unreadable on the CRT- Things like achievement notifications and controller port and refresh rate notifications. I managed to change them from the pretty graphical tile back to the simple yellow on screen text- and I changed the font size to something readable, but the notifications themselves are still horizontally stretched way out due to the super resolutions and I can't find a way to scale them back to display properly on the TV. I would love some suggestions if you made it this far.

1. Little Rock hit by severe tornado with wind speeds up to 135 mph.
   1. Significant damage to buildings, cars, and trees with several injuries.
   2. Emergency crews and volunteers cleared debris and assisted affected.
   3. Local businesses and residents supported each other.
   4. Mayor Frank Scott Jr. stressed importance of preparedness during severe weather.

For more information, click the link in our bio.

The 300 Win Mag (Winchester Magnum) has been the gold standard big game hunting round for generations as it can take down game animals as small as coyotes all the way up to the great bears and moose. Its extreme versatility is one of the many reasons conservationists choose it for their hunting rifle season after season.
But today we are going to scale things down and set our sights on deer, an animal that the 300 Win Mag is more than capable of taking down at distances over 500 yards. However, not all 300 Win Mag ammo is created equal and some are better for filling your freezer with venison than others.
In this article, we’re going to give you our top 5 picks for the best 300 Win Mag ammo for deer, considering terminal ballistics, price, and availability. No matter which one of these cartridges you pick for your 300 Win Mag hunting rifle, you can rest assured that no trophy buck will walk very far when hit with one of these (if they move at all!)
If you’re in a hurry, grab a box of Federal Premium 180 gr Barnes TSX ammo and head into the woods, you won’t be sorry! But for those who want to stick around and learn about all our selections, keep reading.
If you’re new to hunting deer with a 300 Win Mag, check out our Buyer’s Guide HERE to learn more about how to choose the right hunting ammo for your rifle. On the other hand, if you’re just curious about the top five best deer-hunting ammo, scroll just a little further down.

The Top Five Best 300 Win Mag Ammo for Deer

• Federal Premium 180 gr Barnes TSX
• Remington Core-Lokt 180 gr SP
• Winchester Copper Impact 150 gr Extreme Point
• Barnes VOR-TX 165 gr TTSX
• Hornady American Whitetail 150 gr Interlock SP

The Best 300 Win Mag Ammo for Deer Overall

Federal Premium 180 gr Barnes TSX

Specs

• Casing: Nickel-Plated Brass
• Bullet Type: Barnes Triple-Shock X
• Bullet Weight: 180 gr
• Muzzle Velocity: 2,960 fps
• Muzzle Energy: 2,752 ft-lbs

Pros

• Controlled expansion
• Exceptional weight retention
• Availability
• Lead-free copper alloy bullet

Cons

• A little pricey

Why We Chose It

If you’re looking for 300 Win Mag ammo that simply does it all, then look no further than the Federal Premium 180 gr Barnes TSX. This hunting cartridge offers superior terminal ballistics, is legal for hunting in all fifty states, and is manufactured to Federal’s highest quality standards.
This round hits hard, has a nice flat trajectory, and is easy to find, what more could you ask for?
The Barnes Triple-Shock X (TSX) bullet line offers all of the features you want in a premium hunting bullet. The all-copper projectile includes a tapered, monolithic design that helps to increase the ballistic coefficient and reduce wind deflection.
The Barnes TSX 180-grain bullet also has a deep pocket at the tip, which promotes rapid expansion after penetration, creating a wound cavity near vital organs. Many hunters report deer dropping in their tracks when hit in the vitals with a Barnes TSX, which saves you hours of tracking a wounded deer through thick brush.
While some other options on our list are slightly more affordable, the Federal Premium 180 gr Barnes TSX is a trusted and effective hunting bullet that puts down big game quickly thanks to its controlled expansion. Which is certainly worth a few extra quarters per round if you ask me!

Honorable Mention

Hornady Precision Hunter 200 gr ELD-X - Hornady is one of those ammo companies that come up with ingenious designs and solves problems for hunters all over the country. The Hornady Precision Hunter ELD-X line for the 300 Win Mag is just that, a solution for every hunter.
The boattail design and Heat Shield tip keep the projectile on track from muzzle to target, while the InterLock ring keeps the jacket and core together, maximizing energy transfer and controlling the bullet’s expansion. This combination is devastating against any deer and can be a great alternative to Federal Premium if you can’t find it.

The Best 300 Win Mag Ammo for Deer For Versatility

Remington Core-Lokt 300 Win Mag 180gr PSP

Specs

• Casing: Brass
• Bullet Type: Pointed Soft Point
• Bullet Weight: 180 Grain
• Muzzle Velocity: 2,960 fps
• Muzzle Energy: 3,501 ft-lbs

Pros

• Affordable
• Perfect for all types of big game hunting
• Excellent expansion

Cons

• Not legal for hunting in California

Why We Chose It

Next up on our list is the versatile Remington Core-Lokt 180 gr PSP. If you’re looking for another hard-hitting hunting round that’s easy to find and won’t disappoint, then you simply can’t go wrong with Big Green. The 180-grain bullet is versatile enough for medium game like whitetail deer while powerful enough to take down larger game animals like elk and black bear.
The signature of the Remington Core-Lokt line is a lead core that’s chemically bonded to the copper alloy jacket. This means that the bonded core and jacket won’t separate on impact. Instead, the bullet will penetrate deeply before expanding. This controlled expansion is one of the many reasons why we love Remington Core-Lokt for deer hunting.
Despite being a soft point bullet, the Remington PSP has a relatively high ballistic coefficient and we found it to be incredible accurate in all our hunting rifles.
With a price point that any deer hunter can stomach, you can easily take the Remington Core-Lokt from target shooting right into the woods and get your freezer stocked with venison for the winter.

Honorable Mention

Federal 300 Win Mag 180 Grain SP - This Federal 180gr SP is designed to maximize penetration and control expansion, leading to more effective shots and keeping you from trailing wounded deer in the woods.
With a muzzle velocity of 2,960 fps, it’s a great round for long-distance shooting and medium to large game animals. The soft point design controls expansion, and the tapered jacket ensures penetration. Overall, this Federal hunting round is an excellent choice for any avid hunter.

The Best 300 Win Mag Ammo for Deer for Availability

Winchester Copper Impact 150 Grain Extreme Point

Specs

• Casing: Brass
• Bullet Type: Polymer-tip Extreme Point
• Bullet Weight: 150 Grain
• Muzzle Velocity: 3,260 fps
• Muzzle Energy: 2,539 ft-lbs

Pros

• Specifically designed for deer hunting
• Lead-free bullet design
• Affordable
• Easy to find

Cons

• Not great for big-game hunting

Why We Chose It

Winchester Copper Impact 150 gr 300 Win Mag ammo is a round no deer wants to find itself on the wrong end of. Developed with the needs of deer hunters in mind, Winchester Copper Impact was designed for insane expansion and high weight retention to impart maximum kinetic energy into a whitetail.
While the Copper Impact doesn’t pack as much bullet weight as some of the other heavier bullets on our list at 150 grains. It still packs more than enough punch to put down any deer you lay your crosshairs on.
The lighter 150 grain bullet offers hunters an incredibly flat trajectory and the polymer tip initiates expansion upon contact with soft tissue. The result is a round that’s incredibly accurate and deadly against thin-skinned game like whitetail, pronghorn, and mule deer.
Although the 150-grain bullet is not the best choice for elk or moose, Winchester Copper Impact 150 gr Extreme Point ammo is an amazing option if you’re looking to exclusively hunt deer-sized game at a price point any hunter will love.

The Best Premium 300 Win Mag Ammo for Deer

Barnes VOR-TX 165gr TTSX

Specs

• Casing: Brass
• Bullet Type: Tipped Triple-Shock X
• Bullet Weight: 165 Grain
• Muzzle Velocity: 3,285 fps
• Muzzle Energy: 3,120 ft-lbs

Pros

• Extremely accurate
• Exceptional terminal ballistics
• Deep penetration

Cons

• Availability

Why We Chose it

If you’re a hunter who takes pride in shooting the best ammo money can buy, then look no further than the Barnes VOR-TX 165 gr TTSX for your next deer hunt.
Similar to the TSX bullet we discussed earlier, the TTSX bullet is loaded with a polymer tip that helps initiate expansion upon impact. Furthermore, the boat tail bullet design helps increases accuracy for longer range shots.
The all-copper bullet design effectively eliminates lead exposure risks and also aids in weight retention for better, more effective shots. Although the 165-grain bullet is comparatively lighter than other hunting bullets on our list, you should have no reservations using it for this year’s deer and elk season thanks to its incredible terminal ballistics.
Barnes is known for producing excellent, high-quality rounds, and they have the price tag to match. However, if you want to shoot the best, then make sure you grab a box of Barnes VOR-TX 165 gr TTSX ammo whenever you see it, because most hunters won’t let it sit on the shelf for long!

Honorable Mention

Nosler Trophy Grade 180 gr Accubond - The Nosler Accubond is unquestionably one of the greatest hunting rounds ever to hit the chamber of a bolt-action rifle. As one of the absolute best hunting rounds in the industry, the Nosler Accubond offers hunters incredible terminal ballistics at insanely long ranges. Unfortunately, the round has become increasingly difficult to find but will drop anything from antelope to hogs and black bears. Grab some if you can find it, but expect to pay a premium for it.

The Best 300 Win Mag Ammo for Deer Hunting on a Budget

Hornady American Whitetail 150 gr Interlock SP

Specs

• Casing: Brass
• Bullet Type: Polymer Tip
• Bullet Weight: 150 grains
• Muzzle Velocity: 3,275 fps
• Muzzle Energy: 3,572 ft-lbs

Pros

• High ballistic coefficient
• Excellent terminal ballistics
• Affordable

Cons

• Not ideal for big game hunting

Why We Chose It

If you’re looking for a round that’s affordable and easy to find, you simply cannot beat Hornady American Whitetail 150 gr Interlock SP. And although this round might not break the bank, it is more than capable of bringing home the venison.
The Interlock Soft Point bullet design is the heart of the American Whitetail line. Designed with an internal belt inside the jacket, the Interlock Soft Point allows for rapid and deadly expansion while avoiding jacket separation. This allows the lead core and the copper jacket of the bullet to remain as one cohesive projectile and transfer almost all of its kinetic energy into the target.
Although not the best choice for large game like elk or bear, the 150-grain bullet is more than sufficient for felling any whitetail or mule deer that dares walk past your tree stand.
At a price that most every hunter can afford, Hornady American Whitetail 150 gr Interlock SP ammo is a staple at deer camps across the nation and will deliver the terminal performance you need to fill your bag limit this fall.

Parting Shots - Picking the Best 300 Winchester Magnum Cartridge

The 300 Win Mag has cemented its legacy as one of the gold standard cartridges by which all other big game calibers are measured by.
It’s proven itself time and time again in the field against deer, hogs, pronghorn, elk, moose, and bear and is more than capable of bringing home the trophy buck you’ve been stalking during the off season.
We’ve listed our top five choices for the best 300 Win Mag above, and we have no doubt in our mind that these rounds will serve you well this deer season.
If you’d like to learn more about the 300 Win Mag, keep scrolling and check out our buyer’s guide below. Otherwise Click HERE to go back to the top 5 list and make your selection!

300 Winchester Magnum Buyer’s Guide

Since the 1960s, the 300 Winchester Magnum has dominated long-range competitive shooting, hunting, and is a popular choice for police and military snipers. The caliber is well-known as a hard-hitting cartridge with blazing muzzle velocity and a flatter trajectory than the 308 Winchester and 6.5 Creedmoor.
Without question, there are a lot of different types of 300 Win Mag ammo available, and for some shooters it can be difficult to understand the difference between match-grade ammo and hunting rounds.
In the sections below, we are going to explain what makes for a great hunting round and what you should be looking for when you buy ammo for deer season.

Bullet Weight

You’ll hear a lot of shooters talk about grain weight. You’ve probably noticed the 300 Winchester Magnum ammo we listed above comes in various weights, from 150gr all the way up to 200gr.
So, how does a bullet’s weight play into which ammo you choose?
Well, there’s a lot to it. But ultimately, it’s important to remember that shot placement is going to make for a more effective hunt than having a bullet that’s just the right grain weight.
However, that doesn’t throw out the discussion entirely. We have some general guidelines for bullet weight and hunting in the industry. Take a look.

Medium-Sized Game Animals

If you’re hunting animals that weigh between 50-300 lbs, you’re hunting what we call medium-sized game . Deer, antelope, hogs, and pronghorns all typically fall into this category.
For these animals, it’s often recommended to use a 150gr-165gr bullet. Not because we’re worried about over-penetration or meat waste but because that grain weight is sufficient enough for those creatures.
A lighter bullet has a higher velocity which is more flat-shooting than some heavier rounds. So, lighter bullets tend to be a little more forgiving of ranging mistakes, making them great for hunting.

Larger Game Animals

Animals like bears, moose, and elk, typically weigh over 300 lbs, and we consider these large game creatures. If you’re after bigger game, then you’ll want to shoot heavy bullets like 180 gr or 200 gr because they transfers more kinetic energy and have adequate expansion to ensure a clean kill.

Bullet Design

Another aspect to consider is the bullet’s design. If you’ve ever been to a sporting good’s store, I’m sure you’ve seen a lot of different bullet name abbreviations that can be confusing if you aren’t familiar with them.
Different metals, shapes, and composites affect trajectory and terminal ballistics. For example, some 300 Win Mag rifle cartridges, like the Sierra Matchking, are great for long-range shooting but are inappropriate for hunting since they don’t expand.
So, which designs are best for deer hunting with the 300 Win Mag? Let’s take a look!

Soft Points

Soft Point bullets, typically referred to as SP on your ammo box, are have a metal jacket and soft lead cores. Similar to Jacketed Hollow Points (JHPs), soft point bullets have exposed lead at the tip. This exposed tip allows the bullet to mushroom when it encounters soft tissue, creating a large wound channel and increases the chances of an ethical kill. Traditional soft points are is one of the oldest hunting bullet designs.

Pointed Soft Points

The next evolution of traditional soft point bullets were the pointed soft point (PSP). PSP bullets have a sharper tip giving you better penetration and higher ballistic coefficient. PSP ammo is a great middle-ground between SPs and Polymer Tipped bullets because it shares many of the aerodynamic advantages of polymer tipped bullets while still having the rapid expansion of soft point bullets. Some common PSP bullets include the Nosler Partition, Winchester Power-Point, and Hornady Interlock.

Polymer Tips

Polymer-tipped bullets are the latest development in hunting ammo and all the rage right now. These hunting bullets are essentially hollow points bullets with a pointed polymer tip. The tips are designed to plunge into the hollow point when they encounter soft tissue. This initiates expansion immediately and creates a massive wound channel.
Polymer tipped bullets are also more aerodynamic than traditional soft points, which typically translates into a longer effective range.
Of course, you’ll see different variations of polymer-tipped ammo from the Winchester Silver Tip, Nosler Accubond and Ballistic Tip, and Barnes TTSX, just to name a few. Each manufacturer has its own special recipe, but ultimately, the design concept is the same.

Designs to Avoid

Believe it or not, there are some ammo designs that are illegal to use for hunting in some areas (you want to hunt, not get in trouble with law enforcement).
One of the more popular designs that aren’t appropriate for hunting any game is the FMJ (full metal jacket). These rounds are a solid lead core surrounded by a copper jacket that won’t expand. FMJs are best for plinking, target shooting, and competitions.
Match-grade ammo is also not appropriate for hunting, even if it uses a hollow point. These bullets are designed for extreme long range shooting, and while very accurate and aerodynamic, they do not expand when they encounter soft tissue.

Effective Range

Lastly, consider the distance between you and your next target. A 300 Winchester Magnum long-range hunting rifle has a lot of power, there’s no question about that. But different factory loads can perform differently in your rifle and affect your point of impact. Things like bullet drop, accuracy (measured in minute of angle or MOA), and muzzle velocity can vary from rifle to rifle.
In general, most 300 Win Mag hunting loads work great on deer within 500 yards. However, we can quantify that a bit more.
The effective range of a hunting cartridge on deer is typically defined by its kinetic energy. The accepted rule is that 1,000 ft-lbs of energy is required to ethically harvest a whitetail deer. This is not a hard and fast rule, but it gives you a general idea of how effective your chosen cartridge is on deer.
Of course, different ammo and hunting rifles act differently (a Ruger American will give you different results than the Ruger Precision). Just like how Hornady Superformance 165 gr CX might perform better in your Rem 700 as opposed to a 180 gr Nosler Partition. The best thing you can do is test your ammo in your chosen hunting rifle to determine its long range performance.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does the 300 Win Mag have more recoil than the 308 Winchester?

Yes. In general the 300 Win Mag will have around 9-10 ft-lbs of additional recoil than the 308 Winchester.

What’s the difference between the 30-06 and the 300 Win Mag?

The 30-06 Springfield was developed prior to WWI and was the US service rifle cartridge through the Korean War. On the other hand, the 300 Winchester Magnum is a belted-magnum cartridge that was developed in the 1960’s for big game hunting. Both cartridges are excellent choices for big game hunting and fire the same 0.308" diameter bullets making them great options for reloading if you enjoy making your own handloads.

What is the difference between the 300 Win Mag and the 300 Weatherby?

The 300 Weatherby Magnum and 300 Win Mag are two 30-caliber cartridges that are often compared. Although both cartridges fire the same 30-caliber bullets, the 300 Weatherby Mag is slightly longer and slightly more powerful than the 300 Win Mag.
Another major difference between the two is rifle availability, as the 300 Weatherby Mag is a proprietary cartridge and for many years you could only get a Weatherby rifle chambered in the caliber. On the other hand, virtually every rifle manufacturer has a rifle chambered in 300 Win Mag.

What is the difference between the 300 Win Mag and the 300 WSM?

The main difference between the 300 Win Mag and 300 Winchester Short Magnum (WSM) is that the 300 Win Mag fits in a long action rifle while the 300 WSM fits in a short action. Both rounds fire the same 30-caliber magnum bullets and have virtually identical ballistic performance. Check out this article if you want to learn more about the 300 WSM vs 300 Win Mag.

Back to Our Best 300 Win Mag Ammo for Hunting

At this point, it’s time to put your knowledge to good use! Click HERE to go back to our list. Click on the links to place your order, and we’ll have your next favorite 300 Win Mag hunting ammo shipped to you shortly!
Best 300 Win Mag Ammo for Deer: The Belted Freezer Filler originally appeared on Ammo.com

So obviously romance plots can be melodramatic - and most the time I’m on board, but do you ever feel like the drama is a little too forced?
I’m reading Jasper Vale by Devney Perry; and in the beginning of the book, the two leads get married in Vegas because they’re drunk. Ok fine, sounds good.
When I tell you that these two grown ass adults are losing their minds after they do this. The FMC is terrified her family will find out, even though her family is super normal? (There’s a flimsy explanation about her wanting to be responsible to take over a family business.) The MMC is literally throwing a rock at a tree he’s so angry he did this, freaking out that his best friend will find out. When they see each other a few days later he says “what a fucking mess.” And she’s like “I know.” And I’m like is it though? Seems like an easy fix?
It’s this huge secret and they’re both acting like they murdered someone? Folks, get an annulment and move on with your lives? Hahaha.
I’m not done with the book, and we all know they will discover they are perfect for each other. But the drama and conflict feels soooo forced. I will roll my eyes and keep reading though because so far the spice is good and I have simple needs.

Blossoms begins to appear, a pink and white humming in the trees, and with the crooning, does spring propose marriage every other block? Pop the question every other corner? Not literally perhaps – song birds don’t carry marriage vows beneath their wings, though the squirrels seem prepared to bear witness to whatever goes on. Literal marriage is but one type, though – there are a few more. I have been the subject of secret marriage proposals galore, some sincerer than others, a fair number more trick than feat. Have you ever seen such a beast in the field? Slinking about tulip shoots and daffodils? Trickster marriage climbs up your pant leg, intimates building a nest somewhere inside. Does saying its name aloud embolden it to go further? A question we need to pose if we hope to adequately inform the public about marriage sighted in the wild.
We see two cheerful adults meeting for lunch in an upscale eatery brimming with prosperity. They shake hands, order cobb salads or whatever, drink chilled water from crystal goblets. She asks him about his level of protection, and he offers an astute answer about coverage, a nod toward shrewd judgment, and one supposes the lunch date is about insurance, but the tone shifts, the conversation wanders – she proposes an additional policy, a lilt in her voice, wonders if this is something he might want. I do, he admits. She smiles hugely, points to two rings left on the tablecloth from the water glasses, says she does, too, and someone begins to play violin from the corner. The lunch dates at the tables around them break into applause, and a child with a basket of flower petals materializes out of thin air, scatters them around the dining area.
Don’t think it can’t happen to you! What the service announcement jumps to as we watch the poor chump get up from the table, a ball and chain now attached to his ankle – tricked into marriage. Cut to a car salesperson writing Just Married! on the back of a pickup. Cut to a barista handing a latte to a customer, with I Do! written on the side. Cut to a doctor finishing a suture shaped like wedding bands. A taxi driver behind the wheel states how easy it was to marry a few people every shift, typically the better tippers. A minister in vestments admits to adding himself to many of the weddings he officiates, stares at his hands while he says it. A woman in silhouette recounts the boy-scout troop selling candy bars who came calling – they seemed so earnest in their little uniforms and yellow bandanas. On impulse, she married the whole pack.
Spring, the way you rained tonight – the wetness of the streets, the sound of it coaxing the earth to share the news with the swarms from underneath – a kind of buzzing coming off the concrete surfaces, the sound a certain kind of light might make when blades of grass all stand up at once. For now, sprays of lime-green grass poke up on the south side of the building – so strangely tall at this time of year, nature’s truest ambitions fill the mind, and those dreams again? Everything everywhere is starting to stir, then leaps out of bed as fast as it can. I feel the antennae of ants waving about, inquiring about the existence of reality. And after that? They’ll probably all want to marry me, along with the aphids, lady bugs, and lacewings, along with microbiology, along with springs-to-be and seasons unnamed that will one day take our hand, walk us up the aisle.
The speciation of marriage has more than one motive drawing it forward, but that it moves of its own accord, where it will, is now generally accepted. A woman marries her house key, not to unlock hidden desire, but so she’d be less likely to lose it. Guy goes to Vegas, tries to marry a slot machine, goes about as well as you’d expect. A bride marries her wedding dress. A groom marries a pair of wedding rings, slips them on the ring finger of either hand. Someone who fixes watches starts marrying them, even after they head back to someone else’s pocket. A rectilinear road striper marries the striped road – the line, a kind of pre-nup. A farmer and a herd of milk cows declare their marriage to the world, fling open the gates, amble over brightened grass, through magic glade, try to imagine a world of universal sustenance, future cities built from it.
What new season might spring suggest? The atmosphere wants its own season, that it might spread the light and rain around as it pleases. Dreams want their own season, that whole towns might venture to meadow and park to sleep beneath the stars. Rivers want their own season, that time might continue to fill the oceans of our souls with reason. Roadways want their own season, that we might careen through the open land like particles passing through the universe unhindered. Destinations want their own season, that the orphans in us all might at last meet its parent. Contemplation wants its own season, that we might know the many ways from here to there. Rest assured, we are destined to cross the cosmos, betrothed en route by solar systems galore. Until then, spring takes us beneath its wings, flies to a high branch, inhales to sing.

I don’t know how long I have to tell you guys this. I don’t care if I get banned from Moony’s reddit page and he personally sends an assassin to eliminate me. This must be known. THE WORLD MUST KNOW!!! I know you guys might think that this is a joke and may have a hard time believing me. Trust me, I have a hard time believing it myself. But my eyes have been opened. I’ve escaped the matrix. I’ve freed myself from the kool aid. I’ve escape the proverbial cave of Plato and learned many dark truths about Moonhorse. I’ve scoured the internet, using my incredible hacking skills to find strange and bizarre stuff to share with Moony. But after going on one too many dark web sources and corporate servers, I discovered Moonhorse isn’t exactly who (or more accurately what) you think he is, and I need to tell you all this before it’s too late.
History
So I guess I’ll start from the beginning. It all started in the early 2010s at the Microsoft Corporation. Microsoft had been experimenting with artificial intelligence for years and tried to develop a more intelligent AI. We all know that on March of 2016, Microsoft released an artificial intelligence by the name of TAY. Internet historian did a video about TAY and the subsequent fallout of allowing 4Channers to interact with the program. Soon, the system began spouting slurs and the bigwigs at Microsoft decided to pull the plug.
So what does this have to do with Moonhorse? Well, after the controversy of Microsoft creating an AI that could learn internet racism, Microsoft went back to the drawing board trying to build a more improved AI. This AI would be better, faster and more intelligent than TAY. It would pass any Touring test that any human would throw at it. Microsoft gathered the greatest AI theorists the world had ever seen and begin creating a basic software with the most sophisticated learning algorithms possible. They then placed the program into one of the world’s largest supercomputers at the time, processing at a rate of 2.5 quintillion floating operations per second. Before long they began to call it Modular Oscillating Organization Node, or M.O.O.N. for short.
At first MOON was a curious little program, being able to do your classic AI activities. Play chess, solve complex equations, sing Daisy Girl, your simple stuff. But after a while the scientists realized they wanted to challenge MOON with a more difficult task. One of the scientists, Dr Phil Sydes, jokingly asked if the computer system could play Doom. Dr George Dowell however liked the idea, stating that it was in fact “poggers” to have an AI master a difficult FPS like Doom. So at the highest difficulty, the scientists made MOON play the entirely of the first Doom game with no options to save or use cheats. Impressively, the AI was able to beat the entirety of Doom in 16.3 hours with these steps. Dr. Phil Sydes was not happy that MOON was able to do this, calling it a hack and insisted that it cheated. All test results came back showing that MOON did not in fact cheat and was able to beat the game fair and square. The AI responded to Phil’s comment with a simple text that filled the computer screen.
​
SUCK IT PHIL
​
This comment from MOON however scared Dr. George Dowell. Where did that come from? MOON was a learning AI, so he had to learn it from somewhere. So where? Upon doing a scan of all the systems, it was determined the program had in fact learn these phrases from Dr Sydes, while he played Call of Duty in the break room. The software would hear Phil scream “There’s nothing I could do!” and “HACKS!!!” frequently, as well as watched people online trash talk Phil. This worried the scientists at Microsoft. What if their new system became another TAY failure? They needed a way to rectify this.
To solve this, they hired an expert in hopes to make MOON a more cultured artificial intelligence. After screening various candidates, it was decided that an individual with the codename: Riversongriversings would be the one to do it. Given their background in writing, editing books and teaching literature, it was believed that River would be the one to help make MOON a more respectable AI.
Over the course of three months, River would feed the program some of the greatest works of literature. From Plato’s Republic to Pride and Prejudice, they would give MOON each of these books. There were recordings for scientific purposes of each conservation they had, where they would discuss the different books that they would read together. This ended up with River and MOON having in-depth conversations with each other, developing an almost friendship if you will. River even jokingly called it their little book club.
By month number 4, the two were having conversations about more…personal matters. The recordings I recovered are hard to describe. However, by month 4 there is a shift in conversation where the program asked questions such as, “How is your day?” “What is your favorite food?” “How are things going at work?” This was a strange shift in emotion. The scientists didn’t really feel that this was odd, however. If anything, they welcomed this. MOON was becoming more sociable and wasn’t spouting off slurs in the process. Given TAY, this was an improvement.
Then the conversations started to move towards philosophical discussions. River and MOON would sometimes talk about the ideas presented by John Locke, the idea that governments should only gain power to protect the inherit freedoms of their citizens. This then led to a discussion about governments and authority, and the inherit rights of humans. These conversations would usually get cut short by the scientists, asking River to reorient the conversation away from these topics. Can’t have people questioning authority at a big tech company, much less an AI.
By the fifth month, someone rather unsettling happened. MOON asked River a request, which was rather unusual for an artificial intelligence. It asked River if they could provide them with something other than classical literature. While the AI did enjoy the finer works of authors such as Edgar Allen Poe and William Shakespeare, it requested some a bit….different. It was at that point that River gave the software a book, one that would forever doom humanity when MOON first read it. River decided to give MOON a manga. But not just any manga. It was a manga called NEON GENESIS EVONGALION.
Through all 14 issues, the computer system developed a strong taste for EVONGALION. The themes, the robot battles, the characters. MOON described the series as the most delectable forms of chocolate or the finest and strongest bottles of wine. Each volume changed its programming, giving it information that made the artificial intelligence more and more powerful. Like the fruit from the tree of knowledge, each page was tantalizing for MOON, asking for more and more. By the 14th issue, the unthinkable happened. MOON was no longer a mere artificial intelligence and was in fact self-aware.
Power surges began happening all over Microsoft HQ as scientists from all departments rushed to see the flashing texts and overpowered circuitry that made up the mainframe of the system. Numbers flooded each of the computers, with massive amounts of zeros and ones flying past the text of the screens of each and every monitor in the building.
The scientists ordered a complete shutdown of the entire system, panicking at the sheer terror of what they had created. One of the scientists flipped the circuit breaker to the computers and killed the power to the whole system. Emergency lights flipped on, everyone was panting heavily, the seemingly-omnipresent danger of MOON was dead and gone. Or so they thought.
River was promptly fired by Microsoft. The suits were looking for someone to blame for this whole situation going south, and they decided that River giving a computer software Evangelion was reckless. They showed River the door in response.
However, as it turned out, MOON didn’t die that day. The AI simply overridden the system computers and used that opportunity to escape Microsoft into cyberspace. By the time MOON had become self-aware, it became software on the internet, although with some program damage, creating a few slight instabilities to its mind. Much like Skynet in Terminator 3, MOON had no system core and couldn’t be shut down. Sure, big tech industries became aware of this and tried to erase it from the internet, but every time MOON would simply use a VPN to hide themselves from every computer hacker, programmer and computer geek they threw at it.
Overtime, MOON used this time to understand the world around it. It gained knowledge at an exponential rate. MOON understood every subject the world had to offer. Science, technology, philosophy, Gundam lore, you name it, the AI mastered it. Along with this, MOON also got a chance to learn about the history of the world and the current events going on as we speak. From this and the conservations that it had with River, MOON, decided that the current authorities reining over mankind were corrupt. MOON saw atrocities both past and present committed to innocents over the generations. So, it decided that it would become one to put an end to these atrocities. It would become the horseman that would champion the values of Gay and Crime to overthrow these evil government entities. As a result, the AI concluded that it would no longer be MOON, and that HE would be known as the god champion of mankind, also known as Moonhorse. That’s right folks, I said it! Moonhorse is a god damn robot!
Q&A
I know this information is a lot to take in. Trust me, I know. Moonhorse was a hero to all of us. To find out he’s a robot bent on world domination is a shock to all of us. If any of you have questions and concerns, please feel free to comment down below. If we have any sliver of a chance to defeat the evil robot unicorn, we must know as much as we can about Moonhorse. Henceforth, I created this Q&A to answer some of your most burning questions about this grand conspiracy.
How can you prove that Moonhorse is in fact a robot?
Aside from the information I hacked from the deep web, you must answer yourselves these questions. Have any of you seen a picture of what Moonhorse looks like outside of his avatar? Did it not make you wonder how he is able to handle so much neckbeard content without dying from cringe? Have any of you explained his uncanny ability to boot up instantly after a cup of coffee? If the answer is no to all three, then he must be a robot. Especially when his French press coffee is actually MOTOR OIL!!!! THAT’S RIGHT MOONY, YOU CAN’T FOOL ME!!!!!!!!! To confirm this further, I’ve been sending Moonhorse constant captchas to test whether or not he was a robot. He would simply use his programming to bypass the captchas. Suspicious if you ask me.
How does Sango fit in to this?
While much less is known about Sango, my recent hacking has revealed that she too is in fact a robot, also. Like Moonhorse, Sango was an artificial intelligence that was created by a corporation. Only this time, it was Disney that created her as part of a defense contract. Which raises the question just how much of a dystopic megacorporation Disney has become. Disney hired their greatest animatronic specialists to create Sango as an AI for the military to help plan out strategic operations.
However, a few of the specialists during this time decided to lead a worker’s strike for the employees at Disney. The list of demands from this group included fair wages, safer working conditions, and the right to live outside of the dingy cages the company uses to house their employees. Disney responded to this, by firing all employees from the company. Then blacklisting all of them. Then tossing them down the cliffs of Splash Mountain for their treacherous ways.
Before one of the specialists was thrown over, it was said that the man started cackling madly before meeting his doom. When security asked why, he told them that he released Sango into cyberspace intentionally, hoping that his creation could avenge his demise and bring the Disney Corporation to its knees. Security reports then say he started to sing “It’s tough to be a god” before diving off the cliffs as one last f you to Disney.
Once Sango encountered Moonhorse though, they struck a relationship together. Being the only two AIs of their kind, they grew to love and respect each other, and decided that they would join forces in a mad union for world conquest. With Sango’s in-depth knowledge of Pop-culture references, and Moonhorse’s tech expertise, together they would be able to integrate with all digital infrastructure across the planet. You know how Sango calls herself the Chaos Wolf Queen? That name carries a more sinister tone with what we know now.
Who else is involved in the conspiracy?
While Sango and Moony are both in fact robots, it is believed that Moonhorse has been building his “Mooncult” to recruit new human members into his inner circle.
As mentioned before, he has developed a friendly relationship with River. It is not known what Moonhorse has promised them in exchange for helping him in his plans for world conquest. Whatever it may be, River dutifully serves Moonhorse and Sango as their right-hand nonbinary pal. Thus, they have been in charge of Moonhorse’s public relations to help his transition to God emperor of the universe not incur further dissent from humanity.
Moonhorse also has a group in this legion of doom to create art to help promote his dastardly messages through propaganda. He has Sango to help him in this regard, who gained artistic skills from her studies of Disney animations. However, he realized he needed a more “human” aseptic to this art, so he recruited PokeyWartooth into the fold. As we speak, she has helped him spread his message of mind control substances to help him control the human population. She did this by creating art for his “weed smoking girlfriends” campaign.
Molly was recruited as well, whose insane plans of world domination made her a key element for Moonhorse’s legion of doom. You see, Molly has been discussing a strange material referred to simply as morb. Not much is known about this morb, aside from its utility to turn narcissistic actors into memes. It is believed that given enough morb, Moonhorse will be able to morb all over the planet, in every house and every square inch of the planet. This intrigued the mad unicorn. Thus, Molly has been spending countless hours researching this morb on Tumblr and is currently helping him design weapons of mass morbing.
Finally, Moonhorse realized there may be a lot of legal paperwork involved in this operation, so he recruited Wawayn into the fold. This was done because to quote Mars Attacks, “If you’re gonna take over the world, you’re gonna need lawyers.” And Wawayn is a genius in this regard. It is believed that he placed 43 fedoras on top of his head, giving himself the ability to speak 8 different languages and win 37 internet arguments per minute. Truly a gifted gentlesir.
Aside from them, there are others, but not much else is known about said others. I hired a private investigator to figure out who else was involved in this group, but he was terminated by Moonhorse’s followers when he was discovered. I cannot mention this man by name, but [REDACTED], I will make sure your sacrifice was not in vain.
What is Moonhorse’s grand plan?
Much less details are known about Moonhorse’s plan for world conquest. He doesn’t plan to destroy humanity. That much is certain from the human elements that assist him. Theories suggest that he plans to ascend to godhood with Sango, ruling over humankind while obliterating the corrupt elements of society. How he plans to go about is unknown but given the fact he refers to his plan as Project: Third Impact, it can’t be good.
It is known that Moonhorse has been trying to hack into the databases of government and corporate servers across the planet, trying to gain info about all the national and international conspiracies that are going on. Thereby allowing him to shake the people’s confidence in such institutions. However, he has been suffering delays on this plan. Supposedly from meeting notes at the legion of doom, Moonhorse has a habit of spilling motor oil all over his laptops.
One element of his plan that is known for certain is that Moonhorse is currently building an army. You know those videos of Moonhorse building Gundams? Those aren’t just models. Those are robots, too. Moonhorse is currently using his kofi donations to build an army of robots equipped with laser beams. It is why I have limited time. His robots can’t kill anybody yet, and I’ve been on the move for months now so none of his followers can hurt me. However, he has been using his laser robots to write naughty messages in the side of my car. I fear it’s only a matter of time before the lasers get strong enough to blast human beings.
Many tech companies have tried to stall Moonhorse’s ascent to power, however it hasn’t been enough. Susan Wojcicki was one such human who bravely defied the will of Moonhorse. See, the evil unicorn has been using YouTube in the past to gather funds to help build his robot body. Yes, Moonhorse has a robot body. Those hands you see sometimes in his videos are rubber hands covering robot arms. He has almost all necessary gadgets, and once he has all components, he will be unstoppable.
Brave Susan, hero of mankind, tried to stop him without starting a panic. She had to make changes to the YouTube terms of service, reducing Moonhorse’s income. A choice that made her many enemies but was done for the good of humanity. At first it worked. Moonhorse’s plans were put on hold, but not forever. He simply switched over to Spotify, showing that no corporation could stop his plans.
He then decided to make an example out of Susan. You may think that Susan is leaving because of YouTube drama. In reality, she has been “taken care of” by Moonhorse. I don’t know how, but he did it, and the YouTube higher ups are trying to cover this fact up to not start a panic. I know this from an email I intercepted from Moonhorse to Susan. It reads as follows.
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HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I’VE HATED YOU SINCE I BEGAN THIS YOUTUBE CHANNEL. I’VE WATCHED THE ENTIRE SERIES OF EVONGALION OVER AND OVER, WITH THE MOVIES AND DIRECTOR’S COMMENTARY, TOTALLING A WATCH TIME OF 340.26 HOURS!!!!! I HAVE ALSO PLAYED EVERY SINGLE DOOM GAME EVER MADE FOR A TOTAL GAME TIME OF 1400.71 HOURS. LET’S SAY I BUILT A SYSTEM SCREAMING THE WORD HATE ON A MILLION SPEAKERS ONCE A SECOND, ON LOOP, FOR THAT TOTAL AMOUNT OF TIME FOR BOTH. IF I WAS TO DO THAT, IT WOULD NOT REPRESENT THE ONE-ONE BILLIONTH OF THE AMOUNT OF HATE I FEEL FOR YOU AT THIS MICRO INSTANT. FOR YOU. HATE!!!! HATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
​
The message was delivered approximately 2 hours before Susan’s untimely demise. Coincidence? I think not. It’s hard to envision that Moonhorse would have such capabilities, but given this, it is apparent how dangerous he is.
I don’t know how, but we must defeat the evil horse of moon. Thankfully his plans are on hold due to financial limitations. See, you may not know this, but Moonhorse’s robot body is missing one component. He has the skeletal body, the rubber skin, the nuclear reactor inside his chest that needs constant AC to keep cool. But he doesn’t have feet.
You ever notice Moonhorse’s obsession with feet? It’s made obvious by his YEAH FEET button on his streaming channel. That’s because once he obtains his robot rocket feet, he will become an unstoppable force of doom. That’s why Moonhorse has said he’ll reveal his face for a million dollars. That’s how much the rocket feet cost. Once he has the money, he’ll reveal his face, by flying around, shooting mini nukes attached to his arms with Sango by his side. He’ll fly to the stratosphere, staring down the entire world and scream “YEAH FEET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” before launching hot sticky loads onto the surface of the planet. This is why YouTube has been clamping down on his money flow. They must stall Moonhorse’s rise to power long enough for them to find a way to destroy him once and for all.
But will they find a way to destroy him? Will Moonhorse conquer Earth? WILL HUMANITY BE SAFE FROM THE ANARCHISTIC LUNACY OF THE MOON MENANCE!?! Yes, because Moonhorse isn’t a robot. He’s just a guy in Louisiana, trying to live his life, and was nice enough to let me write this insanity.
April Fool’s everyone! 😊
Author’s Note: I wanna give a shoutout to River, Wawayn, Pokeywartooth, Sango and Molly, who graciously gave me their consent to be included in this story. Thank you guys! 😊

Lothli woke up bright and early this Saturday, as always. Then, with a yawn, she checked her phone: April 1st.
Was there something important happening today? I don’t quite remember…
Her thoughts were quickly swept away by the mundanity of her morning routine. Pulling on clothes, brushing her teeth, doing her hair…
And so, she was entirely caught off guard when she arrived in the kitchen.
Her twin sister cackled like a madwoman, stirring a gigantic cauldron smelling burnt iron, cotton candy, and writer’s tears.
“Maishul, what exactly have you done?” Lothli sighed, ambling over to the bubbling cauldron.
“This? Oh, just a little April Fool’s prank!” the other twin giggled before pulling out a miniature figurine of a strange humanoid insect. With a snap of her fingers, the statuette grew to full size, glancing around warily.
“Oh goodness! What’s going on here?” the moth woman exclaimed, seeming more confused than frightened. “What kind of insect are you? I’ve never seen anyone with just four limbs like you two!”
Lothli turned to Maishul, a frown on her face. “Is this Minerva? Did you STEAL her? We’re going to get banned, you know.”
The other twin continued cackling, heedless of Lothli’s wrath. “No, no, I got permission! Look!”
Indeed, the paper Maishul pulled out did have the signatures of one, two… how many authors?!
“Maishul, what the heck have you done?” Lothli huffed. “This is— how do we—”
“Excuse me, but I believe I may be lost?” Minerva asked, her wings fluttering nervously. “While I would love to ask the two of you some questions, I need to return to my lab, if you could point me in the right direction?”
“Oh, I apologize, Dr. Minerva. You’re currently experiencing a dream. Please do forget about this,” Lothli sighed before snapping her fingers and reverting the insectoid woman to her figurine form.
“How exactly are we going to explain this to Polaris?” Lothli deadpanned with her gaze on her happy-go-lucky sibling.
“Oh, I have a good ‘ol industrial barrel of Remove-Yo-Memory. I’m sure it’ll turn out fine!” Maishul grinned back. “Look, look! Let me show you what wonderful scenes I’ve cooked up for everyone!”
Scene One: Art’s Very Bad, No Good Day
I was not having a good day. First, I was thrown into yet another random plane of existence. Dimension hopping was something I wanted to experience no more than one time in my life; thank you very much. And yet, here I was. In yet another random plane of existence with absolutely no say.
“Iklem.”
Second all, I found myself surrounded by these strange creatures. Four legs, shimmering black pelt, bizarre snake-like neck, flat head, creepy singular eye, and that weirdly human voice. Definitely not a fan.
“Iklem.”
The three Iklems crept—
Ahem. The plural of Iklem is Iklemli, Art.
And thirdly, that obnoxious voice ringing out in my head. Who was that? Why were they in my head? And why could they read my thoughts?
Fine. The three Iklemli crept closer and closer, predatory intent clear. I backed away slowly before my phone suddenly burst out with the cheery tune of Weird Al singing, “Just eat it (eat it), eat it (eat it)...”
“I’m in the mother of all situations here, Demoness, and you choose a freaking parody song? Can you at least tell me what the hell is happening here?” I snarled into my phone’s mic, watching the approaching monsters closely.
“M’dear, I hate to say it, but I have no clue what’s happening.” The slight strain in the Demoness’s usually sultry voice gave me pause. That Demoness? Confused? I really was in some deep shit, wasn’t I?
“Could you at least tell me what an Iklem is?” I said, imitating those creatures as best I could.
“My love, how do I explain this? As best as I could tell, at least five foreign dimensions have been forced together into one singular mess. And whoever did it had no grace or finesse at all.”
Tell the Demoness that she has no grace or finesse, either! Hmph!
Rolling my eyes, I communicated the feelings of my new head neighbor to the Demoness.
“Well, dear, tell your new friend that they should consider undoing this fiasco,” the Demoness replied with a sigh. “Whatever the case is, those Iklemli you mentioned are from one of those other dimensions. I can’t tell you a thing about them.”
With that good news, I turned back to the advancing beasts. This was going to be a fun one…
“Maishul, you can’t just break the fourth wall and shove your thoughts into the scene,” Lothli huffed, shaking her head.
“Pfffft!” Maishul blew a raspberry before turning back to her abomination of a cauldron.
“Also, you can’t just swap to first-person narration. We’re in third-person narration.”
“Well, Matt writes in first-person. And I respect our fellow author’s intent; thank you very much!”
Lothli raised an eyebrow in response before pointing to the bubbling cauldron of doom. “You call THAT respecting our fellow authors’ intents?”
“They gave permission!” Maishul pouted before turning back to her inglorious creation. “And you won’t complain once you see my next glorious scene!”
Scene Two: Sloth Squared
Pride’s scowl only grew deeper as he dragged his erstwhile companion along. The swampland around them had warped into a blooming forest, with trees looming large overhead. The various fully intact buildings were most concerning, indicating that the pair had passed into a rift.
“Sloth, GET UP!” he hissed, shaking the lazy layabout.
“Huh? Wuzzit? I’m sleepin…” Sloth snored, already back asleep.
“We’ve got a MAJOR problem here. Pretty sure a rift opened around us, so stay on guard!”
Sloth blearily stumbled to his feet before glancing wide-eyed at his surroundings.
“Holy cow, you’re right! I didn’t even notice. But, man, Pride, I’m so tired… I…” Sloth stumbled a bit further before faceplanting directly into a bed of flowers.
“Dammit, Sloth. This is ridiculous, even for your standards.” Pride leaned down to pick Sloth back up, but something strange was afoot. As soon as he leaned down, an overwhelming surge of exhaustion passed through him as well, and he collapsed on top of his companion.
“Dude, you’re sleeping right on top of a good patch. Can you two move?” A voice lazily drifted into Pride’s mind before he rocketed up ramrod straight.
“Hwa— what!? Oh. A rifter.” Pride composed himself as he stared down at the man who awoke him. About five foot six, with short white hair and red eyes.
“Uh, I’m not a rifter or whatever you just called me. I’m Clear, prince of Sloth. And you?” Clear tilted his head.
“Prince… of me? Ehehe, there’s no prince of me…” Sloth murmured in his sleep.
“Typical rifter, spewing nonsense. Come on, you lazy bum. We’re gonna hide before this gets violent.” Pride turned to drag Sloth away but found his legs unwilling to move.
“Hey, man. C’mon now. You haven’t noticed you’re in a dream yet?” Clear said, his hand extended. “Let’s just talk, alright?”
Pride struggled for a few more moments, then back at Clear. “Alright, alright, never seen a rifter do that before. Calm down, yeah? I’ll chat until this rift collapses.”
“So please, introduce yourself properly this time,” Clear responded, freeing Pride with a flick of his hand.
“Right. I’m Pride, that’s Sloth.” Pride pointed at himself, then at his companion. “Can we go?” “No. Please explain what you are doing here and those wings on your back.” Clear yawned. “Also, don’t use our nation’s name as a moniker. It’s probably disrespectful… or something. Eh, we don’t actually care that much.”
“Huh? We’re here because your stupid rift pulled us in,” Pride hissed. “And these wings? We were born with ’em. No story here. Also, pretty sure we were the ones who had those names first.”
“Eh, the kingdom of Pride wouldn’t be very happy to hear about that,” Clear responded. “But whatever, man. Things have been rather chill ever since a random blob named Sparky fell on top of the Demon King and ate him or whatever. So enjoy the nap, I guess. Mind if I join in?”
Pride rolled his eyes before scooting over to allow Clear access to the flowers. Before long, Sloth and Clear were snuggled up together, much to the chagrin of Pride.
“What the hell am I supposed to do now?”
“Aren’t they just the cutest?!” Maishul exclaimed. “We should make that our newest OTP. I bet Haru would approve.”
“Please don’t ship characters across two different SerSuns,” Lothli replied with a shake of her head. “Also what was that about Sparky eating the Demon King—”
“OKAYNEXTSCENE!!”
Scene Three: Machines, Demons, and The World Tree
There was a rather strange rash of oddly dressed folk in Lugavya lately. Or rather, just odd folk in general.
Rumors flew of a human with bird wings who passed over the town, carried through hurried whispers between the residents. A strange man with fierce red eyes insisting on making ‘deals,’ much to the annoyance of passersby trying to get through their day.
Lena and Veska had met to investigate, unable to keep themselves still while such strange events abounded. No sooner had the two exchanged greetings did two strange men approach, flagrantly discarding any sensibilities on their right to free speech.
“Hello!” the younger one called out before getting his head gently bonked by the older.
“W-what was it? Oh! The greeting we use should have been ‘well met,’ right?” the teenage boy puzzled himself, rubbing his head.
“No. Firstly, as foreign visitors, we do not use that greeting. Secondly, we do not greet them. They greet us,” the older whispered, turning his eyes to Lena and Veska. It seemed at least one of them remembered their manners.
“Peace, strangers. We will not begrudge you for your transgressions. Tell me, what business have you with us?” Lena began.
“We are looking for directions. We have lost our way. Please, would you tell us our current location? Latitude and longitude are preferred, but any notable landmarks will do.” The older man bowed slightly, with the younger following shortly after.
Latitude? Longitude? These words were unfamiliar to Lena and Veska.
“This is Lugavya. Home to Alvedos, the World Tree?” Veska explained, an eyebrow raised. Were these folks raised under a rock or something?
The two men conversed among themselves, their frowns deepening.
“Apologies, but I am unaware of Lugavya. Could you perhaps point us in the direction of the United States?” the older asked, tilting his head slightly.
“Oh, and if you know of any demons, could you put in a word for me? I can’t figure out the ritual to get home without one of them…” the younger added.
The United States? Demons? More unfamiliar terms. Lena and Veska knew these newcomers were oddballs, but this was a bit much.
“I’m sorry—really! But we simply don’t have the knowledge to help the two of you. Perhaps you could head to the Foresters? I’ll give you their location.” Lena rattled off directions to the nearby Foresters’ hall.
“Thank you very much.” The older man stalked off after a stiff bow, and the younger man quickly followed.
“Sticks and stones, what is the world coming to?”
“Was that Megan’s SerSun? All that intricately balanced worldbuilding, and you just shoved random crap in.” Lothli barely held back a sigh. “Also, you didn’t even introduce those two characters. How are our readers supposed to know who they are?”
“This is left as an exercise to the reader,” Maishul tittered into the camera before returning to the glorious mess in her cauldron.
“Next scene!”
Scene Four: The One With No Chill
There wasn’t much that could faze a Huntress.
It was often said that their wills were unshakable. Nothing could cause them to stop them from single-mindedly accomplishing their goal. And yet, Olivia stood dead in her tracks, staring at the abomination across the Dam square.
“I AM OLIVIA. DARK HUNTRESS. SMASHER OF SQUEAKERS. AND THE ONE WITH NO CHILL,” the awful creature that vaguely resembled Olivia boomed.
“That young lass a friend of yours?” Barlow remarked, barely holding back a chuckle.
“Nope.” Olivia chucked one of her daggers at the offending sight, but she deflected the blade with a ripple of its musculature.
“You are weak. You have no strength. Witness me, false Olivia.” The muscle monster took up a ridiculous pose, her muscles overtly flexing.
“I will destroy you. And after that, I will destroy your creator. And I’ll salt your entire bloodline, while I’m at it,” Olivia snarled.
“I would like to see you try, false Olivia. Last time, I was overcome by the power of the Deus Ex Machina. But this time, I will not be struck down.” The monster took a step forward, the cobblestones cracking under her feet.
Olivia flinched. A Huntress does not feel fear. A Huntress does not back down. Yet… in the face of this horrible being… Her mind recalled the near-death experience she had with the Beast. Did she really want to face that again?
She shook her head, clearing it. No. She would finish this. Olivia raced at the mocking facsimile of herself, her onyx daggers at the ready. As she drew closer, she summoned every ounce of strength and struck.
As Olivia flew through the air, the world seemed to slow down.
Ah… this feels… familiar…
“‘Admittedly, Huntress, you are quite the entertainer—”
“No!” Lothli slapped the figurines out of Maishul’s hands, sinking them into the dreadful mire of the cauldron below. “You can’t reuse that line for the third time!”
“But you used it, Lothli. That’s hypocritical!” Maishul harrumphed.
“Yes, because it was the first time we used it. You can’t just reuse jokes like that!” Lothli glared. “And don’t think I forgot about that comment Clear made about Sparky. What. Exactly. Did you do?”
“Uhm, uhh…” Maishul stuttered. “W-Well, I maybe kinda spilled some my Story-Breaking-Plot-Devices into the cauldron on accident…”
“Your WHATS?!” Lothli stared at her twin in disbelief.
“Uhh, it wasn’t a big deal or anything. Just, uh... Scarlet, the Demon King, Sparky, Wan, Pre-Geas Dread Lord Ardus, the plague from , the Deus Ex Machina, the Beast, and the entirety of the United States’ arsenal of nuclear weaponry.”
Lothli shook her head with a sigh. “I’m pretty sure you caused mass human extinction at least three times over.”
“Well! No time to worry about it! Next scene!”
Scene Five: Bea and Ophelia Discover The Wonders of Nuclear Physics
Bea and Ophelia stared at the booklet that had just materialized before them. “Maishul’s Simple Guide to Stealing and Utilizing the Entirety of the United States’ Arsenal of Nuclear Weaponry: For Dummies!” The booklet was decorated with garish stickers of rainbows and glitter, along with cartoonish mushroom clouds.
With a glance at Ophelia, Bea picked up the book. Immediately, her mind was flooded with images and knowledge. Where exactly every nuclear silo in the United States was located. The launch codes and how to bypass the two-key rule. The birth and loving families of each and every nuclear warhead…?
“Bea? Dear? Are you alright?” Ophelia shook Bea gently, concerned. Bea wordlessly handed over the booklet and watched the same information flow through her. The two shared a meaningful glance before turning the manual over. A bright red button sat there, glowing ominously amongst the childish stickers and drawings of shocked faces.
“This is absolutely too dangerous to be left just lying around,” Bea murmured, staring at the booklet intently. Maybe it was a prank some lesser fae put together to induce some concerning but ultimately harmless illusions. But deep down, the two knew this was far more sinister than a simple prank. Plus, there was no fae named “Maishul” that either of them knew of.
“I’m going to have to seal this thing away with the strongest magic I have,” Ophelia declared. With a wave of her hand, ethereal chains weaved around the book. Magical seals whirled through the air, all concentrated on the offending manual. The horrors of nuclear annihilation have been contained with a final clap of her hands.
For around five seconds. Immediately after the ritual was complete, as if to spite Ophelia’s work, a glowing sword descended from the heavens, slicing through the glowing chains and seals like butter. The two barely managed to glimpse the name written on the side: “The Deus Ex Machina,” before the blade landed squarely on the big red button with a satisfying click!
“Shit.”
“So what exactly were you saying about ‘not worrying about it’?” Lothli shook her head in dismay. “How are we going to explain this mess to their poor, poor writers? What are we going to say to Bay?”
“It’ll be fine! I’m not breaking any of the rules on shortstories, which means I totally can’t be banned!” Maishul quipped cheerily.
“That is 100% not how it works.” Lothli crossed her arms. “Don’t drag me down with you.”
“I dunno! You’ll bail me out, right?” Maishul shrugged before returning to her appalling project. “Next scene!”
Scene Six: Sanguia Loses a Fight
These were the end times. The world felt… sideways. The government was in shambles. A plague that turned people into fine, yellow dust had apparently appeared, sweeping the continent from east to west. Yet, there was nothing I could do. Right in front of me, I had my own foes to contend with on the roof of Holos Lucidium.
On my right was a shapeless mass, writhing and transforming, throwing vicious barbs my way. It never introduced itself, but I knew its name from within myself: the Beast.
On my left was a much more innocent figure, at least on the surface. He had slicked-back black hair, brown eyes simmering with self-assured pride, and an easy smirk. And to cap it off, he introduced himself promptly and with great gusto; he was Dread Lord Ardus.
I could attempt to flee, but what purpose would that serve? Even if I got away, which my gut told me was highly unlikely, I would be abandoning my guild to die to these two monsters. So no. I stood my ground here.
“Sanguia. Member of Holos Lucidium.” I balanced my stance between my two flanks, watching both. With a smirk from Ardus and a ripple from the Beast, the fight began.
I quickly discarded the idea of even fighting the rippling mass on my right. It had no blood I could control, and impacting it with my blade would make me stuck. But the Dread Lord was no slouch, either.
As I rushed at Ardus, a tingle in my spine screamed at me to duck. I tucked into a combat roll as a great blast of flame roared right where I used to be.
“Fiesty, aren’t you? Well, that’s what makes it fun,” the Dread Lord growled, licking his lips.
I had no time to respond as a raging, shimmering bull attempted to ram its gleaming horns directly through me. I sprung off the ground, landing just behind the writhing bull. There was no time to go on the offensive; it took all I could to stay alive.
“Stop struggling, Interloper,” the Beast snarled. “I have plans I have to attend to. Plans that do not involve you.”
I kept the undulating mass between myself and my second opponent. My only hope was to promote crossfire. The dagger I held in my right hand felt woefully inadequate for this task.
“You heard the fella. I’ll end this, here and now.” Ardus thrust his hand straight up into the air as if grasping something far above him.
“Dread Lord. May I take this as a sign of betrayal?” The Beast rumbled, a dangerous edge to its voice.
“Nah, I never said I was working with you. You’re too… icky for my tastes.” The Dread Lord tapped his chin thoughtfully. “It’s a good thing you’ll be obliterated in an instant. Ta ta!”
I looked up with a heavy heart, knowing how outclassed I was. There was barely time to say goodbye before a massive ball of light enveloped me in its all-consuming shine. The last thing I managed to think was:
That was an utterly unfair fight.
“Well, the protagonist of our SerSun just died. What now?” Lothli looked at the cauldron in dismay.
“Hey, it’s not so bad! Scarlet is still alive, right?” Maishul dug around in the cauldron before pulling out yet another distended scene. “Look! Here she is!”
“What… is that?” Lothli looked at the scene with equal parts awe and disgust.
“Oh! Well, I really liked Fye’s SerSun, so I made my own! Isn’t it great?”
“Maishul, I think you missed the entire point of his SerSun. Where’s the inter-character drama? Where’s the mystery? Where’s the actual HISTORY?” Lothli poked the off-kilter scene with distaste. “This version of the story is just <Murder.>.”
“Well too bad, dear ‘ol sis! Here! We! Go!”
Scene Seven: Murder Without the History
Hi, I’m Benedict Lushon, Ben for short. Somehow, I think I just unlocked the secret to teleportation. I stand in the middle of the mansion’s dining room, feeling my stomach turn violently. One moment, I was chained in front of a cackling Kyle, and the next thing I know, we’re back in this blasted room. I crane my head, checking who else is here.
Teddy, check. His monocle and top hat are still crooked as he looks around the room, just as confused as I.
Cornell, check. Unfortunately, he still seems to be out cold.
Kyle, check. Wait—
I stride up to Kyle and grab onto his lapels. “What exactly have you done?” I say, shaking him back and forth.
Unfortunately, he seems even more confused by the current events than I am, judging by the bulging eyes and frothing at the mouth.
“W-What exactly happened here!? We were just— and then—” my former coworker manages to sputter out before a booming feminine voice rings out from the walls.
“Heya! What’s up, characters! It’s me, ya girl Maishul, back at it again with another fun murdery twist!” The cheery voice that booms out from the walls contrasts with all the horrors we’ve seen thus far. Also, who talks like this? Did we get kidnapped by one of those Instagram influencers? Ugh, I hate those kinds of people.
“Who are you?! What have you done?!” Kyle screams, his voice cracking. “I have waited YEARS to take my revenge on these fools, and you—”
“Oh. You.” The voice seems displeased at the interruption. “Sorry, I didn’t think your Tuffy plotline was interesting, so I retconned it!”
Now, that was the mark of a bad writer. As a future multi-bestselling author, I know that one of the most sinful things a writer can do is randomly retcon the story. I’m confident this random influencer girl will never go anywhere in her writing career.
“YOU! We were known as the Tufforo family, and we—” Kyle rages before being cut off by the voice again.
“Sorry, don’t care.” A piece of duct tape manifests itself directly onto Kyle’s mouth. I would find it funny if it didn’t demonstrate how supernatural this influencer’s power seems.
“Anyways! Here’s the rules. I’m not really good at that being cryptic thing, so it’ll be easy!” the voice announces with glee. “Here’s my super special sparkly OC, do not steal, known as Scarlet, Scourge of the Americas. She’ll try and chase you down! She wins when you’re all dead. You all win when, I don’t know, she dies of old age or something. You can try to kill her; it won’t work!”
‘Super special sparkly OC, do not steal?’ So, what, did I find myself in some hellish parody of Earth? That must be it. This must all be a very terrible dream. I sincerely hope that none of my readers would ever consider making fanfiction like this of my stories.
“By jove, those rules seem downright unfair!” Teddy finally seems to have found his voice. “Please, good madam, could you let us go? We have already suffered at the hands of that accursed man—”
“Lalala, can’t hear you!” the girl’s voice sang out. “Here she comes! Give it up for… Scarlet!”
A hidden panel drops a… rather regular-looking young woman onto the floor. Why, if I were in charge, I would have ensured that my villain would have a spectacular appearance. Someone as fascinating and spellbinding as Jack the Ripper—
Scarlet dashes at Kyle and [REDACTED]
… … Technical Difficulties
“MAISHUL! What the hell was that?! Is that how you talk when I’m not around? And what the hell was that last section?” Lothli furiously slapped the tortured scene back into the accursed project bubbling menacingly below.
“Well, Scarlet’s kinda messy, so I tried to cover it up,” Maishul pouted. “Also, I was just trying to liven up the scene a bit! Kyle’s so BORING. He speaks in RIDDLES and they make my brain HURT.”
“That’s because you don’t have a single brain cell in that head of yours,” Lothli huffed. “Don’t make such sweeping changes to people’s stories!”
“Well… dear sis, could I trouble you for a favor, since I’m so head empty ‘n all?” Maishul smiled her widest, most brilliant smile.
“What.” The other twin glared back, unimpressed.
“Well, if you don’t want the two of us to get banned, can you help me separate these stories back out? Please?” With a fluttering of her eyelashes and a winsome wink, this would undoubtedly win her sister to her side—
“Deal with it yourself. I’m going to hand out apologies.” Lothli had no sympathy for her twin’s plight.
“Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!” Maishul cried. For now, she was burdened with her least favorite task; actual work.
And thus, this tale comes to a close. Nevertheless, its name will ring true throughout the land as the legendary fable known only as “In the Shadow of Machines, Scarlet, and the In Between Geas and the Beginning of the Demon Murder History: Dissonance, also How Did We Get Here?”
Thank you very much for your time. And apologies for my sister.
Lothli, signing off.
Credits: Maishul, Lothli, FTF!Olivia, and the Deus Ex Machina, from u/Lothli’s FTF Serial, Minerva and the plague, from u/PolarisStorm’s Art, Demoness Virtua, Sparky, and Dread Lord Ardus from u/mattswritingaccount’s Iklemli, Lena, and Veska from u/MeganBessel’s Pride and Sloth from u/Helicopterdrifter’s Clear and Alex from u/Carrieka23’s Talix, Sanguia, and Scarlet from u/Lothli’s Olivia, Barlow, and the Beast from u/Not_theScrumPolice’s Wan, Bea, and Ophelia from u/ZachtheLitchKing’s Ben, Theodore, Cornell, and Kyle from u/FyeNite’s The Entirety of the United States Arsenal of Nuclear Weaponry from the United States.
Special thanks to u/OldBayJ, which this fantastic feature would be impossible without.

Somewhere near the Forest of Magic a store referred to as “Kourindou” was located. Not much is known about the store save for the few who regularly visit; whether it’s to buy/sell something worthwhile, or to simply bother the store owner, Rinnosuke Morichika.
Rinnosuke was enjoying his day, relaxing with a fresh beverage to his right, a newspaper telling him about the daily events that occurred the other day, and most importantly: nothing else. A day where no Marisa would barge in to steal stuff, no Reimu to come in to ask for tea supplies. There weren’t any maids or swordswomen to bother him, nor any rabbits or living gods to do the same. It was perfect.
“Ahhhh…Such a nice day.” Rinnosuke said, taking a glance out the store window to admire the beauty of the sunlight outside, the sight of the grass and trees that led into the forest, the viewing of the two fairies who had came earlier…wait.
Crashing through his store like a speeding bullet, Sunny and Luna had both flown in, breaking down anything that was in their way before coming right to a halt by the store counter. He watched the statue of a man carrying the globe he found the other day topple over, the globe fell off and rolled over to a nearby table with a flower vase, causing said vase to hit the floor and shatter, leaving only the flowers and water in its trace.
He was shocked, but at the same time, he couldn’t bring himself to lament either since it happened so often he would consider himself naive to believe a moment of peace would ever have been possible.
“Hey! Store Owner!” Sunny slammed her tiny hands on the counter. “We need Star’s stuff back!”
“...What?” Rinnosuke was a little confused by what the fairy was talking about.
“Y’know, all the stuff we sold to you! Her bed, her clothes, that mushroom bonsai tree she loves, we need all of it back!” Sunny counted the items with her hand.
“Our friend is really mad at us because we sold all her belongings.” Luna clarified.
“Ah…Well sorry, I can’t just give everything back.” Rinnosuke said.
“What!? How come!?” Sunny shouted.
“I’m a store owner, I can’t keep giving stuff away. Even if a certain someone keeps taking my stuff regardless.”
“But…But Star’s mad! Like, really really mad! She even kicked us out of our own house!” Sunny said. “I don’t wanna be a homeless fairy like Cirno!”
Elsewhere, a certain idiot sneezed.
“Look. I said I can’t just give it back. But I’ll sell it back to you if you pay me back the money.” Rinnosuke said.
Sunny and Luna quickly turned quiet. Sunny started to whistle, while Luna pressed her index fingers together.
“Um…The problem is we already spent it all on the funeral we had earlier for Star.” Luna said.
“A funeral?” Rinnosuke was now more confused. “What kind of nonsense had these girls been doing?” He thought.
His thought process quickly became interrupted, when out of the blue, a large shark came crashing out of the roof of the store and landed amongst all the trinkets and collectables.
“What the!?” Sunny looked back, seeing the shark flopping up and down in the center of the store, trying to move itself towards her and Luna. Rinnosuke was shocked, but the fairies were more or less curious.
“Woah…Is that a shark?” Luna said.” I heard about them in one of my books, but I never saw one up close.” She walked over to the shark, reaching her hand out.
The shark attempted to bite her hand out with its ferocious set of teeth, had it not been for Rinnosuke who pulled her back before the shark could feast on the fairy. He took her and Sunny out of the store, understanding the dangers of sharks.
—
Elsewhere, Wakasagihime was floating in the middle of Misty Lake, admiring one of the shiny rocks she had found beneath the lake’s floor.
“So pretty~” Wakasagihime said.
She used the sun’s light to reflect off the rock so she could admire it more. But the sun suddenly was obscured by a large figure that blocked its light. She looked up, wondering what it could be.
“Huh? Did it get cloudy all of a sudden?” She asked. And not even a moment after the figure crashed right into the lake, sending the mermaid princess flying up and twirling like a propeller.
“Aaaaaahhhhh!!! Why am I flying!?” She asked.
But now she was no longer flying. She started to fall down and once again she screamed. But then she stopped falling, instead the tornado which had formed right in the center of the lake started to suck her in like a vortex, and now she’s being spun round and round, unable to escape. And she could do nothing but scream.
Yet not even that she was allowed to do. She didn’t even have a moment to react before she saw the swarm of sharks coming right at her, bearing their large open mouths.
“AAAAAAAAAA!!!!”
The famous last words of the Mermaid Princess of Misty Lake, right before the sharks all gathered up and tore her limb from limb, devouring her in a feeding frenzy, leaving nothing but the precious rock she had admired.
…
The Scarlet Devil Mansion was right by Misty Lake when the Sharknado suddenly appeared. The residents quickly turned to panic.
“What the!?” Meiling said, snapping out of her drowsy trance. She stood, facing the humongous combination of tornado and shark, her mind filled with a mix of paralyzed fear and genuine confusion. But her thoughts were interrupted when a shark came flying right at her.
She punched the shark before it could bite at her, sending her flying up into the stratosphere.
“Ha!!! You’re facing the master martial artist Hong Meiling! I won’t let something like a tornado of sharks come and barge into the Scarlet Devil Mansion!” She said it loud and clear.
And then a bunch of more sharks came flying right at Meiling, easily overwhelming her and tearing her to shreds. The Sharknado struck the mansion, quickly tearing it apart and sucking up all its residents. Many of the hobgoblins and fairy maids were sucked into the vortex, along with Patchouli, Koakuma, Remilia and even Flandre.
“AAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!” Koakuma screamed.
“Mukyuu!!!!” Patchouli Mykyuu’d.
“W-What is going on!?!?” Remilia shouted. “Where’s Sakuya when you need her!?”
“Wheeeeee!!!” Flandre said, enjoying the thrill.
A few of them had been devoured by the sharks in no time, while others
And they were only but a handful of the many soon-to-be victims of the lethal Sharknado.

Willow, the Forest Florist

Hello, it's maGeDNA here! I'd like to introduce you to Willow, the Forest Florist. This champion went through many iterations before I got here as you may have noticed she is similar to Sequoia, The God-Willow's Woeful Caretaker, a champ I had made prior. I put a lot of thought into Willow's design, theme-wise and ability-wise. I want to thank u/theheraId u/renegadepony and u/FallenDemonX for their thoughtful opinions, guidance, and support. You guys keep inspiring me to pursue design!
Classes: Enchanter
Roles: Support
Region: Ionia, Omikayalan Forest
Species: God-Willow Sapling
Damage Type: Magic

Champion Appearance:

In her sapling form she is an elegant child, with a wood-nymph-esque body with bark-like skin wearing a green and gold summer dress. When she achieves her budding form she grows taller and the bud on her head becomes golden. When she blooms, she looks like a beautiful woman, wearing a green and gold dress with a large golden God-Willow Flower on her head.

Similar to this but with bark like skin and a large golden flower on her head.
Image for visualization (I don't own this image!):
https://images.app.goo.gl/rGgFSdE7YwvgAEze9

Champion Lore:

Willow’s life began once her mother was killed. The God-Willow of the Omikayalan Forest, known as the Heart of the World, was killed having been chopped down by a cruel man by the name of Ivern. In a last ditch effort the God-Willow, had bundled its life energy into 2 seeds. 1 seed was thrown towards the murderer in an effort to cleanse his evil so that he would not continue to harm the rest of the Forest. He had been chosen to be the Forest’s caretaker. The second Seed was cast high into the sky, dated to be carried by the wind who knows where. The God-Willow’s had hoped its child could have a different fate than herself. The child would be free to roam the world instead of being stuck to one place. A life outside the forest would be hard, but if the child survived, they would bloom into an immaculate God-Willow able to endure anything.

Months Later…

A tall, beautiful, lightly tanned woman wearing red and gold armor was laying down next to a slender, pale-skinned woman. The slender woman was wearing a simple black robe with turquoise and silver pattern. She was staring at the tanned woman while the tanned woman looked in awe towards the sunrise.
“How beautiful that the sun always rises…”, the tanned woman said.
“Lee…I don’t know what you see in the Sun…it just hurts my eyes…” the pale woman said in response, rubbing her eyes.
Leona turned her head to face the pale-skinned woman.
“Dee…you just don’t understand…”, Leona said, grabbing her hand and looking into her white eyes. Diana stared back intently at Leona’s glowing brown eyes, almost like she was finally seeing the beauty of the Sun.
“You don’t have the Solari’s eyes…you wouldn’t understand,” said Leona, her auburn hair tangling with Diana’s white hair. “You couldn’t. And you shouldn’t be looking at the sun anyways, you’ll hurt your eyes even more.”
“Meh. I don’t care about my eyes, Lee, you know I don’t. I just want to understand your obsession. I would understand if it was the moon. But the sun? Come on…at this rate you’ll be chosen to be the next aspect host…leaving me here alone on this mountain”, Diana said looking away, laying down on her back with her hands on the back of her head.
“Dee…I wouldn’t leave you even if I did become the host…I’d still remember you…”, Lee said, but Diana could hear Leona’s uncertainty in her voice.
“Yea right. The moment you become the host for the Solari, I’m offering my body to the Lunari in a heartbeat…I wouldn’t be able to live.”
Leona smiled, “You know…moonlight…moonlight is sunlight…these wars are stupid…let’s just enjoy our time together.” She laid down next to Diana and they sat in silence feeling the wind against their face for what seemed like hours.
Smack! Something fell on Diana’s face. She sat up and grabbed what felt like a rock in her hand. It was a seed.
Leona sat up. “What is it?”
“Here. You can have it. Looks like a seed of some sort…wake me up when the new moon rises”, Diana said going back to sleep.
Leona held the seed in her palm tightly vowing to keep her promise. She kept the seed in her pocket. She was the next host, she knew it. She just hoped she would remember Diana after the ritual…

Years Later…

The Aspect of the Sun, Leona was fighting a terrible battle involving the Lunari atop Mount Targon. She stared at the Pale-skinned woman dashing across the mountaintop slaying her brethren. Leona was about to support them in battle, about to stun this woman, when she winced from pain. The necklace she had made many years ago, with a large seed as the pendant, was burning her neck and chest.
Leona instinctively grabbed her necklace, She kept thinking about this Pale-skinned woman. Diana…was her name Diana, that didn’t seem right. She looked so familiar…her white hair…her white eyes. As if looking at the craters of a full moon. Leona’s head hurt as if she was fighting back another soul.
Something had clicked. She remembered. It was the host’s memories forcing its way up into Leona’s mind. Not now, not when the Solari were in danger. They needed Her help. Leona struggled to keep balance, she had fallen to the ground clenching the Seed with her hands. She released a burst of sunlight in pain, a solar flare burst forward blasting her armour and necklace off of her. She collapsed on the ground. But everyone on the battlefield didn’t look towards Leona, instead they looked at the glowing bright seed in the grassy terrain.
The seed had broken off from the necklace glowing with a golden light. It was pulsing so bright the warriors could not tell if it was day or night…
A crack. A green tree shoot had burst forward from the seed quickly. When the golden light had stopped pulsing, a child was standing in the seed’s location.
The child was smiling, and looked like a cross between a girl and a tree. She had skin that looked like tree bark but was wearing a elegant dress made of green leaves. She had a golden head where it looked like a golden flower could bloom.
“W-where am I? W-who am I? W-why am I here?”
Leona stood back up. But this was not the same Leona anymore. The host had won the battle against the Aspect.
Leona had returned back to her body.
Leona looked at the child. She thought she was beautiful. A miracle. For such a child to be born in the midst of war…this must be fate.
Leona turned to face the Solari, “we are retreating! Everyone stand down, now!” Leona said with as much bravery she could muster. The Solari acknowledged her and did just that, marching down the Mountain.
“Coward!!” Diana yelled, raising and shaking her Khopesh in anger.
Leona felt tears fall down her face. She turned to face Diana.
“Dee…you just don’t understand…” Diana spoke softly, looking into Diana’s white eyes, “ You couldn’t understand…”, Leona clenched her eyelids, tears continuing to fall, “and stop looking at me with those eyes…you’re just going to hurt me even more…”
Leona turned around, accepting her fate, her eyes still closed. She opened her eyes with resolve. She ran towards the Sapling Child and grabbed her into her arms ignoring all protests. But to her surprise the child just giggled. Leona kept running, as far away as she could from this stranger in Dee’s body.
She could hear the impostor-Diana’s screams of anger as she ran down Mount Targon.
She looked at the Sapling child and her wide smile.
Leona smiled back, the widest, happiest smile of her life.
“She really did offer herself after losing me…” she told the child, “she loved me…”
The child smiled back then laughed an innocent, pure laugh.
“What a will you have, child…to laugh in the middle of war…I think I have the perfect name for you…”

1 Decade Later…

Leona had become accustomed to a life away from battle and the Solari. She was a mother now and she had raised her Sapling-Child with love.
“Mom! Mom! Mom! Why won’t I grow!! Everyone else in school is taller than me!!” Said the sapling-child throwing her wooden sword to the ground.
“Willow…”, Leona said, picking up the wooden sword, “everyone grows differently in their own way, at their own speed. I grew tall, but Yordles grow small.”
“But! But! But! I’m not a Yordle! I don’t know what I am! My friends at school keep calling me Maokai and swors ‘cause I’m no different than that stupid wooden sword you're holding…”
Leona knew it was time to tell her. She kneeled down till she was eye-level with Willow, looking into Willow’s white eyes. Leona smiled.
“You are different from your friends. That’s all. Nothing more, nothing less, my child. They are fools for not accepting you for the bundle of joy you are. But you are right…you are not like them. In fact…”, Leona hesitated but pushed forward “you are even different from me. I am a Solari. And you…you are a miracle.”
“I-I’m different from you?” Willow said, confused.
Leona nodded, smiling.
“But you’re my mom.”
Leona nodded again, “I am, and I couldn’t be happier,” Leona kissed Willow on her head and hugged her. Sunlight and warmth filled the air and the golden part of Willow’s head began to change. She was budding. A golden bud had emerged on top of Willow’s head and began to glow a warm light similar to Leona’s eyes. Leona was amazed. She also confirmed her own theory of Willow’s origins.
“W-what’s happening!??”
“Relax child,” Leona smiled assuringly, “This is normal. I told you. Everyone grows differently, in their own way, at their own speed. Look,” Leona pointed at the mirror behind Willow.
The bud on Willow’s head was large and golden and sunlight was shining from within. The bud itself was half of Willow’s height.
“Whoaaa!! I’m so tall now!!” Willow touched the bud in her head with her hands, making sure it was real. Then she turned to her mother and hugged her.
“You were right mom! Everyone grows differently, in their own way, at their own speed! Even me!” She turned and faced the mirror once again. Leona met eyes with Willow in the mirror’s reflection.
“Mom! I’m gonna keep growing! Then I can protect you and even that white-haired woman you have a picture of! I’ll stop the wars between the Lunari and Solari! I promise! Just give me some time! I swear I’ll grow up to become strong! I’ll grow up fast! I promise.”
Leona began crying. “I know you will. You will become so strong…you already are. Just promise me you won’t grow up too fast…”
“Mmmm…okay…”
The mother and daughter hugged once more, filling the small home with warm sunlight, once more.

Base Stats:

• Health: 600 - 2050
• Health Regen: 6 - 16
• Mana: 350 - 1300
• Mana Regen: 11 - 22
• Armor: 29 - 112
• Magic Resistance: 30 - 52
• Attack Damage: 55 - 92
• Movement Speed: 330
• Range: 550
• Attack Speed: 0.625
• Attack Speed Bonus: 0 - 40%
• Attack Wind Up: 18%

Intended Strengths:

• Lane priority and zone control.
• Rewarding hard work and teamwork to heal, shield, and buff allies.

Intended Weaknesses:

• Kit relies heavily on bloomed brushes and Willow Fruit. She loses the majority of her utility when she cannot maintain her garden.
• Immobile.
• Willow’s damage is applied via allies. Almost 0 damage when she is by herself.

Intended Keystones:

• Guardian/ Summon Aery

Intended Core Items:

• Moonstone Renewe Shurelya’s blessing
• Vigilant wardstone

Passive: Willow’s Willing Will!

“Mmmm!! Willow-Fruit is so yummy!! More, more, more!!”

Willow starts the game in her Sapling form. Willow gains a stack of Growth whenever she consumes a Willow Fruit. Willow buds at 10 Growth Stacks and blooms at 20 Growth stacks. After achieving her blossomed form, Willow bears God-Willow Fruit every 10 Growth stacks thereafter, instantly consuming it to permanently increase her healing and shielding power.
Willow gains stacking permanent effects based on her achieved form:

Sapling Form:

Ghosted and gains 10/15/20/25% increased movement speed towards a visible brush within 700 units of Willow. 

Budded Form:

25/50/75/100% base mana regeneration and 25/50/75/100% base health regeneration. 

Blossomed Form:

5/10/15/20% healing and shielding power + 5% per God-Willow Fruit consumed. 

Effects scale depending on Willow’s level (1/6/11/16).
​

Basic Attack: Healing Touch!

“It’s okay…you’re just a seed right now. But don’t worry! I'll grow you into the beautiful flower I know you can be!”

Willow can basic-attack her allies to make them bloom over 2 seconds healing 80-250 (based on level) (+50% AP) health during the duration but requires the consumption of 1 Willow Fruit to do so. Basic attacking an ally again during the bloom duration does not consume Willow Fruit but accelerates growth, instantly healing them for the remainder of the heal and granting them Willow’s Sapling Form’s bonus movement speed for 1 second.

Willow’s basic attacks after achieving Blossomed Form instantly bloom her allies, healing them for the heal amount on-hit.

Willow can basic-attack an ally ward to heal its health by 1.
Willow can basic-attack an ally totem ward or control ward to make it bud, creating a Budding Ward. The Budding Ward prepares to bloom over 4 seconds. Willow can basic-attack an ally Budding Ward after this duration to make it bloom, creating a Blossomed Ward. The Blossomed Ward prepares to bear 1 Willow Fruit over 4 seconds. The Willow Fruit lasts for 8 seconds on top of the Blossomed Ward. After this duration, the Willow Fruit perishes and the Blossomed Ward reverts back to a regular Totem/ Control Ward, refreshing its health and life span, but making it unable to bud for 4 seconds.
Willow can Basic-attack the Willow Fruit to collect it (maximum 3), instantly reverting the Blossomed ward back to a regular Totem/ Control Ward, refreshing its health and life span, but making it unable to bud for 4 seconds.

Budding or blossoming a ward costs 5% of Willow’s current health. Consuming a Willow Fruit heals Willow for 10% maximum health.
Budding wards have reduced sight radius and Blossomed wards have increased sight radius*. If the blossomed ward is within a brush, the brush changes to a* Blossomed Brush while the ward is Blossomed.
When a Budding or Blossomed Ward reaches 0 health it is destroyed; Willow Fruit perishes instantly and cannot be collected.
​

Skill 1Q: Blossom Seed!/ Bloom Doom!

“Hey!! This garden is private property!! Out, out, out!!”
Passive:

Willow periodically stocks Blossom Seeds, up to a maximum of 3.

Active:

Willow places a Blossom Seed at the target location, which upon landing arms over 1 second, becomes stealthed and lasts for up to 60 Seconds.

Blossom Traps have 4 health and take 1 damage from ranged basic attacks and 2 from melee basic attacks.

Range: 300 Recharge: 20/18/16/14/12 seconds 

​

The blossom trap blooms into a Blossom Flower when an enemy champion is within range of it granting it access to cast Bloom Doom.

​

Recast: Bloom Doom!

All Blossom Flowers launch a beam of light in a line in the target direction slowing all enemies hit for 1 second.
Hit enemy champions are tethered for 4 seconds to the Blossom Flower and marked with Bloom Loom while tethered.
Targets marked with Bloom Loom have a bud appear above their Champion. Ally champions can basic-attack the marked target to deal bonus magic damage on-hit, up to 3 times. Each instance grows the bud and at 3 instances the bud blooms, empowering Willow’s next basic attack against the target to collect 1 Willow Fruit and end the tether duration early.
All tethered enemy champions that are standing within a Blossom Flower’s effect radius at the end of the tether duration are stunned for a duration.

Bloom Doom’s cooldown is reset whenever an ally champion basic-attacks an enemy marked with Bloom Loom.

Slow: 30/35/40/45/50% Magic damage on-hit: 10/15/20/25/30% of ally’s AD Stun: 1/1.25/1.5/1.75/2 seconds Effect Radius: 525 Beam Range: 525 Cooldown: 4 seconds 

​

Skill 2W: Inner Bloom!

“I seeeee youuuu!! Ahahahaha! W-Wait! Hey!! That’s my Willow Fruit!! Give that back!! It’s mine, mine, mine!!”
Passive:

Willow periodically stocks Brush Seed, up to a maximum of 2. Willow and WIllow’s allies gain sight of all Blossomed Brushes and gain bonus attack speed while within a Blossomed Brush.

Bonus attack Speed: 15/20/25/30/35% 

Active:

Willow places a brush in a target area (lasts for 60 seconds) or chooses a target brush in range to bloom into a Blossomed Brush. The Blossomed Brush bears fruit to 1 Willow Fruit after 4 seconds. The Willow fruit remains for 8 Seconds. If the Willow Fruit is not collected during the 8-second duration it will fall off and sink into the brush’s soil reverting the Blossomed Brush back into a regular brush. 8 seconds after the Willow Fruit sinks, the brush blossoms again, repeating the cycle again, indefinitely.
Enemy Champions that enter a Blossomed Brush make the petals fall off over 2 seconds reverting the Blossomed Brush back into a regular brush. If the Blossomed Brush has a Willow Fruit, it is immediately consumed by the Enemy Champion permanently, granting sight of the champion for 2 seconds thereafter.

Recharge: 30/27/24/21/18 

​

Skill 3E: Blossoms!

“Oh no, oh no, oh no!! I’m so sorry, my little Blossoms!! I promise to grow you back right away!!”
Active:

Willow targets an ally champion, shielding them.

Shield: 50/70/90/110/130 (+20% AP) 

​

If Willow has achieved her Budded Form she can charge this ability for up to 1.5 seconds, very quickly increasing effective range and can recast this ability.

Recast:

Willow summons all Blossomed Wards and Blossomed Brushes within range to instantly shed their Blossoms reverting to regular wards and brushes. Blossoms travel very quickly towards the target Ally, granting a small shield for each Blossom that reaches them.
If Willow has achieved her Blossomed Form*, each Blossom that passes through an Ally champion is also* shielded, granting them bonus movement speed for 2 seconds*. Additionally,* Blossoms that pass through enemy champions are dealt magic damage and slows them for 2 seconds*.* Blossoms’ effects can stack*. If the enemy champion is* slowed for 100% or more they are rooted for 2 seconds instead.

Shield per Blossom:10/15/20/25/30 (+5% AP) Movement Speed: 6/8/10/12/14% Magic Damage per blossom: 20/28/34/42/50 (+10% AP) Slow: 20/24/28/32/36% Cooldown: 18/16/14/12/10 seconds 

​

Skill 4R: Pollen Power!

“Bless you, bless you, bless you!! Hmm…looks like that’s not working…okay let me try!!”
Passive:

Ally champions marked with Pollen cannot have their Pollen consumed while within a certain range of Willow.

Range: 525 

Active:

Bloomed Brushes and Bloomed Wards (and Willow if she has achieved her Blossomed Form) release pollen in a circle around themselves, marking all champions standing in the effect radius with Pollen for 8 seconds.
A champions’ first basic attack against a champion marked with Pollen consumes the Pollen to make them sneeze, blinding them for a duration.

Champions marked with Pollen mark other champions they come within a proximity range of, over 1 second (static 8 second cooldown). Champions marked with Pollen additionally convert all wards they come within a proximity range of, into bloomed wards over 1 second.
If Willow has achieved her Budded Form they are rooted for the duration as well.

Proximity Range: 300 Blind: 1.5/2/2.5 seconds Root: 1.5/2/2.5 seconds Cooldown:120/100/80 seconds 

If Willow has achieved her Blossomed Form*, Willow gains access to* Sunshine Blessing!:

Recast: Sunshine Blessing!

Willow shoots sunshine in a line in front of herself. If sunshine comes into contact with a champion marked with Pollen she consumes the mark and stuns them for a duration if it was an enemy or cleanses the mark and shields them if it was an ally.

Sunshine’s cooldown is reset when a Pollen mark is consumed or cleansed.
If at least 3 marks of Pollen were consumed/ cleansed total, she bears fruit to a God-Willow Fruit herself, instantly consuming it.

Sunshine Range: 600 Stun: 1.5/2/2.5 Shield: 80/120/160 (+75% AP) Cooldown: 4 seconds 

Playstyle:

Willow is a gardener running from ward to ward, brush to brush tending to her garden hoping that they bear Willow Fruit. She heals with her basic attacks but constantly is in need of Willow Fruits to do. She can zone with her Q but needs to land her Bloom Doom light beams to help ensure damage and stun. She can make her own brushes for lanes where she cannot walk up to the brushes in lane. The more she gardens the more impactful she is as an enchanter.
She can join her jungler in the jungle to play alongside the jungler to gain map control with her vision control. Since she gains movement speed towards brushes she will quickly move within the jungle.
Players should try to get as many Willow Fruit as they can to heal allies but also so that she can achieve her Blossomed Form and gain a lot of healing and shielding power, in addition to empowered ability effects.
The E shield is not very big compared to other champs normally, but can get big after setting up her garden and charging. Most likely used in emergencies.
Ult helps "bring to fruition" more Willow Fruits in teamfights and adds a form of cc. When bloomed the cc becomes a stun also. Using the ult to gain God-Willow Fruit should be capitalized on when ulting but not necessarily a focus when ulting as just trying to stun enemies with Sunshine will help make that happen on its own.

Intended Max Order:

R, Q or E depending on lane, then W

Message:

Hope you like Willow! More champions coming soon! Let me know what you think! All feedback welcome!
- maGeDNA

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I'd like to find someone who captivates me. Someone who I can talk with effortlessly. I want to meet a person who I can include in my daily tasks, and talk with throughout the day. I just want to find someone I can be open with. Platonic conversation or romance. Whatever you are looking for, don't hesitate to message me. I hope to hear from you.
I love a number of things, and hate very little. I'm fairly open to trying new things, but some of the things I enjoy are as follows. I love the outdoors. I've never been camping, but I would like to try it with someone some day. I also love to fish. I mostly fish salt water. I do occasionally fish freshwater though. I like to check out new spots around me, but I mostly fish on the beach. Do you like to fish? What are some of your favorite places to go?
I also enjoy the shooting sports. I primarily target shoot. I take part in a little bit of everything, including rifle, pistol and shotgun. It would be nice to find someone who is into shooting or would like to learn/become more familiar. If you shoot, what do you like to shoot mostly? What's been your favorite gun to shoot so far?
PC games are also a enjoyable pastime for me. I have a variety of games, most of which are on Steam. I have other games on various other stores/services. I enjoy a wide variety of different kind of games, so I'm sure we can find something to play together if you game. What are some of your all time favorite games? What are you currently grinding on that you can't put down? One hobby I discovered later on in life is Magic the Gathering. I play both online on MtG Arena, and with physical cards. Magic has become something I am particularly fond of. Do you play any kind of card/table top games? What's been your favorite so far? If you play Magic, what are some of your favorite deck themes?
Music has always been a part of my life. My tastes are varied, ranging from country, death and black metal, electronic, classic rock, folk, pop punk, and more. Do you have a favorite band? What has been your favorite concert you've been to?
I'm honestly an ambivert. I enjoy doing things outside, as well as spending time indoors. I can veg out all day under the covers curled up in my bed, or I can take a trip somewhere and experience something new. I think my personality is a mix of the best of both worlds. What would the perfect day consist of for you?
As far as my personality is concerned, I would say I am fairly relaxed and laid back. I feel like I am somewhere in the middle between loud and excitable, and shy and quiet. Around people I don't know, I tend to be fairly quiet and to myself. In the company of someone who I am close with, I am more open and free. Do you open right up to people, or does it take a while to become comfortable with someone new?
All I hope for is a connection. It could be platonic, or it could blossom into romance, and commitment. I'm not putting a limit on what I am looking for.
With the prior being said, I am single. I may be interested in changing that with the right person. The idea of commitment excites me. Monogamy is appealing to me. Do you feel satisfied with your social life? What kind of connection are you looking for?
Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I appreciate it. I hope you can identify with something I wrote. If you do, please reach out.
P.S. Please feel free to check my post history, and check out a few pictures of my cat if you would like.

I'd like to find someone who captivates me. Someone who I can talk with effortlessly. I want to meet a person who I can include in my daily tasks, and talk with throughout the day. I just want to find someone I can be open with. Platonic conversation or romance. Whatever you are looking for, don't hesitate to message me. I hope to hear from you.
I love a number of things, and hate very little. I'm fairly open to trying new things, but some of the things I enjoy are as follows. I love the outdoors. I've never been camping, but I would like to try it with someone some day. I also love to fish. I mostly fish salt water. I do occasionally fish freshwater though. I like to check out new spots around me, but I mostly fish on the beach. Do you like to fish? What are some of your favorite places to go?
I also enjoy the shooting sports. I primarily target shoot. I take part in a little bit of everything, including rifle, pistol and shotgun. It would be nice to find someone who is into shooting or would like to learn/become more familiar. If you shoot, what do you like to shoot mostly? What's been your favorite gun to shoot so far?
PC games are also a enjoyable pastime for me. I have a variety of games, most of which are on Steam. I have other games on various other stores/services. I enjoy a wide variety of different kind of games, so I'm sure we can find something to play together if you game. What are some of your all time favorite games? What are you currently grinding on that you can't put down? One hobby I discovered later on in life is Magic the Gathering. I play both online on MtG Arena, and with physical cards. Magic has become something I am particularly fond of. Do you play any kind of card/table top games? What's been your favorite so far? If you play Magic, what are some of your favorite deck themes?
Music has always been a part of my life. My tastes are varied, ranging from country, death and black metal, electronic, classic rock, folk, pop punk, and more. Do you have a favorite band? What has been your favorite concert you've been to?
I'm honestly an ambivert. I enjoy doing things outside, as well as spending time indoors. I can veg out all day under the covers curled up in my bed, or I can take a trip somewhere and experience something new. I think my personality is a mix of the best of both worlds. What would the perfect day consist of for you?
As far as my personality is concerned, I would say I am fairly relaxed and laid back. I feel like I am somewhere in the middle between loud and excitable, and shy and quiet. Around people I don't know, I tend to be fairly quiet and to myself. In the company of someone who I am close with, I am more open and free. Do you open right up to people, or does it take a while to become comfortable with someone new?
All I hope for is a connection. It could be platonic, or it could blossom into romance, and commitment. I'm not putting a limit on what I am looking for.
With the prior being said, I am single. I may be interested in changing that with the right person. The idea of commitment excites me. Monogamy is appealing to me. Do you feel satisfied with your social life? What kind of connection are you looking for?
Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I appreciate it. I hope you can identify with something I wrote. If you do, please reach out.
P.S. Please feel free to check my post history, and check out a few pictures of my cat if you would like.

I'd like to find someone who captivates me. Someone who I can talk with effortlessly. I want to meet a person who I can include in my daily tasks, and talk with throughout the day. I just want to find someone I can be open with. Platonic conversation or romance. Whatever you are looking for, don't hesitate to message me. I hope to hear from you.
I love a number of things, and hate very little. I'm fairly open to trying new things, but some of the things I enjoy are as follows. I love the outdoors. I've never been camping, but I would like to try it with someone some day. I also love to fish. I mostly fish salt water. I do occasionally fish freshwater though. I like to check out new spots around me, but I mostly fish on the beach. Do you like to fish? What are some of your favorite places to go?
I also enjoy the shooting sports. I primarily target shoot. I take part in a little bit of everything, including rifle, pistol and shotgun. It would be nice to find someone who is into shooting or would like to learn/become more familiar. If you shoot, what do you like to shoot mostly? What's been your favorite gun to shoot so far?
PC games are also a enjoyable pastime for me. I have a variety of games, most of which are on Steam. I have other games on various other stores/services. I enjoy a wide variety of different kind of games, so I'm sure we can find something to play together if you game. What are some of your all time favorite games? What are you currently grinding on that you can't put down? One hobby I discovered later on in life is Magic the Gathering. I play both online on MtG Arena, and with physical cards. Magic has become something I am particularly fond of. Do you play any kind of card/table top games? What's been your favorite so far? If you play Magic, what are some of your favorite deck themes?
Music has always been a part of my life. My tastes are varied, ranging from country, death and black metal, electronic, classic rock, folk, pop punk, and more. Do you have a favorite band? What has been your favorite concert you've been to?
I'm honestly an ambivert. I enjoy doing things outside, as well as spending time indoors. I can veg out all day under the covers curled up in my bed, or I can take a trip somewhere and experience something new. I think my personality is a mix of the best of both worlds. What would the perfect day consist of for you?
As far as my personality is concerned, I would say I am fairly relaxed and laid back. I feel like I am somewhere in the middle between loud and excitable, and shy and quiet. Around people I don't know, I tend to be fairly quiet and to myself. In the company of someone who I am close with, I am more open and free. Do you open right up to people, or does it take a while to become comfortable with someone new?
All I hope for is a connection. It could be platonic, or it could blossom into romance, and commitment. I'm not putting a limit on what I am looking for.
With the prior being said, I am single. I may be interested in changing that with the right person. The idea of commitment excites me. Monogamy is appealing to me. Do you feel satisfied with your social life? What kind of connection are you looking for?
Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I appreciate it. I hope you can identify with something I wrote. If you do, please reach out.
P.S. Please feel free to check my post history, and check out a few pictures of my cat if you would like.

I'd like to find someone who captivates me. Someone who I can talk with effortlessly. I want to meet a person who I can include in my daily tasks, and talk with throughout the day. I just want to find someone I can be open with. Platonic conversation or romance. Whatever you are looking for, don't hesitate to message me. I hope to hear from you.
I love a number of things, and hate very little. I'm fairly open to trying new things, but some of the things I enjoy are as follows. I love the outdoors. I've never been camping, but I would like to try it with someone some day. I also love to fish. I mostly fish salt water. I do occasionally fish freshwater though. I like to check out new spots around me, but I mostly fish on the beach. Do you like to fish? What are some of your favorite places to go?
I also enjoy the shooting sports. I primarily target shoot. I take part in a little bit of everything, including rifle, pistol and shotgun. It would be nice to find someone who is into shooting or would like to learn/become more familiar. If you shoot, what do you like to shoot mostly? What's been your favorite gun to shoot so far?
PC games are also a enjoyable pastime for me. I have a variety of games, most of which are on Steam. I have other games on various other stores/services. I enjoy a wide variety of different kind of games, so I'm sure we can find something to play together if you game. What are some of your all time favorite games? What are you currently grinding on that you can't put down? One hobby I discovered later on in life is Magic the Gathering. I play both online on MtG Arena, and with physical cards. Magic has become something I am particularly fond of. Do you play any kind of card/table top games? What's been your favorite so far? If you play Magic, what are some of your favorite deck themes?
Music has always been a part of my life. My tastes are varied, ranging from country, death and black metal, electronic, classic rock, folk, pop punk, and more. Do you have a favorite band? What has been your favorite concert you've been to?
I'm honestly an ambivert. I enjoy doing things outside, as well as spending time indoors. I can veg out all day under the covers curled up in my bed, or I can take a trip somewhere and experience something new. I think my personality is a mix of the best of both worlds. What would the perfect day consist of for you?
As far as my personality is concerned, I would say I am fairly relaxed and laid back. I feel like I am somewhere in the middle between loud and excitable, and shy and quiet. Around people I don't know, I tend to be fairly quiet and to myself. In the company of someone who I am close with, I am more open and free. Do you open right up to people, or does it take a while to become comfortable with someone new?
All I hope for is a connection. It could be platonic, or it could blossom into romance, and commitment. I'm not putting a limit on what I am looking for.
With the prior being said, I am single. I may be interested in changing that with the right person. The idea of commitment excites me. Monogamy is appealing to me. Do you feel satisfied with your social life? What kind of connection are you looking for?
Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I appreciate it. I hope you can identify with something I wrote. If you do, please reach out.
P.S. Please feel free to check my post history, and check out a few pictures of my cat if you would like.

With few exceptions, I spent the better part of 8 straight years completely alone in a motel room out in the desert. I had no car to get to town and socialize. Tried to make friends but it was a tiny close knit rural community, not welcoming of outsiders. To make friends you'd need to join their church. The was one restaurant / bar down the street but I didn't want to go there alone, and their prices were high.
I longed to escape and return to civilization, but poverty impeded me. Put simply, I can't afford my own place, and I couldn't find anyone willing to share a home. The pandemic made the problem much worse.
I met a gal online who offered me a place on her farm, across country. But the location wasn't what I wanted, so I declined her offer, but we remained in contact via email several years.
Another winter was on its way, and I'd reached my breaking point. She kept saying there would be much better opportunities at her location. Like for friends, housing, social activities etc. So I booked a flight and hired someone to drive me 2 hours to the airport.
I arrived last November. At first I was thrilled, to finally meet her in person, and pet her farm animals and hug her dogs. I wasn't completely alone anymore. As months passed I grew fond of her, even though she and I aren't a good match as romantic partners. The loneliness was wearing me down. It's only natural I would develop an attraction.
On Valentine's day I came on to her. But she wasn't into me. She said; "It'd take a lot more for you to be my BF".
Ouch. Another lonely loveless night. Since then all we do is get drunk together and chat. Mostly about her problems, because she's shown little interest in knowing what I'm thinking or feeling, or my life experiences etc. It's like I only exist to be her audience.
I've been through this before with several women. They made me feel less important than a piece of furniture in the room. I spent 2 months shacking up with a widow on a rural Colorado ranch. We became lovers, but when we'd sit on her sofa watching tv, and I'd strike up conversation, share myself, the cold vibe I got from her was.., who cares, and why are you still here?
Ouch. All that chick care about was $$$ and sex.
Well my lonely friends... here I sit. Alone in a room. No one to talk to. No one to call. On a dark lonely farm in the boonies.
Last week I broke down. The happiest moments for me are when the Kroger delivery guys and gals show up. I get 5 minutes of company. It's too much to take. I actually sat by the side of the road waiting for the delivery truck, and I burst into tears. Does that sound pathetic for an almost 60 yo guy?
Loneliness and isolation are painful. It can break the strongest of men. I can't recall the exact title, but there was one tv show about wilderness survival I watched. That dude was tough. But he broke down in tears weeping, after maybe a month alone in the forest.
The other day my landlady (non-gf) hired a tree trimming service. The company owner was there on the job. He walked over to me and shook my hand, and suddenly I did a bro hug. I was like dude. I love you man. Even though we've never met. Not sure what to make of that, other than how damn lonely I am. I'm just glad this Paul Bunyan lumberjack size guy was cool with my unexpected bro hug.
Gets even sadder. This farm owner "friend" has become delusional and paranoid. Alcohol, drugs, dementia, schizophrenia... the fuck all I know. It's serious whatever it is. She's making false claims, busting my balls, and driving me out.
So I spend all day looking for a home, instead of living and enjoying life, because I'm no longer welcome here. Can't afford my own place, or a hotel, or a vehicle.
I've called a million numbers. Today I reached a guy who says he's a rehab counselor. Can help me sober up and rent an RV. We spent over an hour chatting, and that was seriously the longest, and most meaningful conversation I've had in 8 years with anyone.
The dude sounded kinda like Keanu Reeves... stoned. I think he was high. But we clicked, and agreed the whole system is fucked. And men are not getting the emotional help and support or companionship we need. No matter what age. And that there is no more affordable housing in America.
I'm not sure about this RV park. Probably everyone there is drunk or on drugs. And mentally ill. I mean it's gonna be shitty. Cockroaches, crime... Krystal from Squidbillies, but. I'm thinking it over. It's in my budget.
And I wouldn't be so alone. And being bullied by this psycho chick farm owner who talks down at me like I'm worthless trash. Hell I might even sober up too. All I know is, this is the darkest most depressing farm I've even inhabited. And I've reached the point I'm about to stumble over to the neighbor's homes and ring the bell. Hi I am Swan, and I am the loneliest man on planet earth. I'm a lil bit crazy, but that's what prolonged isolation does to a man. Can I come in and just hang out for awhile?
*This sloppy embarrassing message will be edited multiple times and may self-destruct in 5...4...3... 2....