Mad honey jodi picoult ending

So, me and my Ex broke up about a month ago, she basically told me she wants to move on and hasn't felt love towards me for months, she's getting to know someone and wants to respect him as she did with me during our relationship. I haven't processed it well, I've tried to beg for her to come back till eventually I went NC for a week.
I was doing alright during NC since I was blocked in every social media, one day out of curiosity I checked FaceBook, and it turns out I wasn't blocked. I didn't think too much of it, then I saw her at the gym and I basically didn't look her way, later that day she posts a story of herself with a song talking about; breakups, It didn't work out, incase we see each other again.
I felt it was directly towards me and I reached out and basically told her I missed her and blah blah blah. She said she missed me as well and misses my family and that she thought I was mad at her because of the gym, then later during the conversation she mentions she's still talking with the guy. Then confusingly I asked her: "So all those hints and you saying you missed me as well wasn't true?" She said: "No, I only unblocked you incase you did something stupid, and I miss you but, not like that. I ask you to not text me anymore since I want to have something nice with the guy im talking to." Her whole attitude changed from the start of the convo to the end.
I'm very confused, I told her to block me everywhere because tbh im not capable of doing so, and so she did. I'm going back on NC, and plan on doing so for a long time. I feel she never really got time to process our breakup and found someone else within a week, even though she says she's been over me for a while even during our relationship.
Note: How do you guys maintain NC without thinking too much, am I tripping or is she playing games with me as well. I need advice I can't stop thinking of her every minute of the day.

Today was okay. I kinda am unhappy but its more so about the people around me.
It seems like everyone (excluding my family ig and another kinda individual who chats with me) is so so self absorbed. Or rather, inconsiderate of others.
I was teaching my class how to do something for a presentation, but some of them were just sluggish. It was early in the morning and I'm not that important but I respect you as a peer so it'd just be nice to get that back.
Then in the sophomore class that I TA for, this girl (who is also a senior) goes on and tells the sophomores her business and then has the raw audacity to complain about them being in her business. Like if you don't want them to know and be nosy....maybe don't tell them.Thats like getting mad at a tree for growing after you gave it sustenance, like cmon.
Then in another class, we did a group circle thing where we share something about ourselves (its like team building). Some people hardly listen to what other's have to say, but still get everyone's attention when they speak. It just sucks cause they don't care.
Consider others. Think about other people. Why is it so common for people to lack the ability to do that? Where is the mutual respect? It's frustrating because I try to do this shit (probably don't always do it) but i try and I'm conscious of it.
How the hell did i end up alone while all these other mfs have all the friends in the world?
This shit don't make no sense man...

(TW) I started having a lot of flashbacks recently about comments and things my dad would do that made me feel uncomfortable and brought up a lot of shame, so I started journaling and then it all kind of started floating up to the surface. I have felt anger and resentment towards my dad since I was a child. I don't know if he has NPD, but he definitely has narcissistic traits. I don’t feel comfortable being around my dad, hugging him or wearing anything that may cause attention/a glance from him. For some reason a part of me is wanting to deny that any of this was out of the ordinary and I’m being overdramatic. But I know that my feelings of being uncomfortable around my dad are coming from somewhere.
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• My dad would keep repeatedly grabbing and squeezing my shoulders/neck/thigh and when I would ask him to stop he would laugh and keep doing it until I exploded and pulled away from his grip. Then he would get mad and punish me for being disrespectful.
• As I got older (high school) I started getting more agitated towards him and would yell at him to stop touching me when he kept crossing my physical boundaries because it made me so uncomfortable. One day he got frustrated that I didn't want him touching me and he asked if someone had sexually assaulted me..... which just never sat right with me.
• One time we were grocery shopping and there was another man on the aisle with us and my dad grabbed my shoulders and pushed me behind him and guided me to the next aisle and told me that that man was a predator
• Any time my mom would go out of town my dad would have my sister and I come sleep in the bed with him and he would cuddle us (like spooning). If my sister went out of town with my mom, it would be just me and my dad in their bed cuddling. This continued up until around high school age when I started feeling more uncomfortable with it and I remember my mom making a comment that she thought it was weird but she never did or said anything else about it. When I started refusing to sleep in the bed with him when my mom was out of town, he would get upset and try to make me feel bad about it.
• He started giving my sister and I massages when we were toddlers. He also would always ask us to massage his neck, back, and feet. This continued through high school. He would always offer to massage my feet (him at the end of the couch with my feet in is lap) and I noticed when I developed breasts he would push on feet to make my breasts bounce up and down and he would laugh like a child. I started keeping a throw pillow tight to my chest when I laid on the couch after that started happening. I also remember my mom making comments about it being weird multiple times but my dad would shut her down.
• He would also tickle us a lot even when we asked him not to. Either grabbing our waist or tickling our feet. He would also slowly trace his finger over our palms and fingers in a way that felt intimate but maybe I'm reading into it?
• I had to mow the lawn growing up and when I went through puberty he started making "joking" comments like "you should mow the lawn in your bikini."
• He came back from a trade show and was telling me about how one of the booths had a woman in a bikini handing out product samples and he "joked" that I should do that for his company's booth.
• He made comments about my appearance growing up that made me uncomfortable like "WOW you look like a model", "you look just like your mom", and sometimes would be like "oh my goodness" "jokingly" and cover his eyes, or make a gasping noise
• When I went through puberty and started my period/developed breasts my mom made me get rid of all of my tank tops and anything that could show off my new boobs or body too much. My parents also gave me a purity ring at this time and made me sign a contract.
• After puberty I started noticing him glancing at my body in a way that made me feel like he was checking me out and I noticed he would also check out my friends when they would come over. It makes me feel sick to my stomach. I don't feel comfortable wearing a bathing suit in front of him, or shorts, dresses, anything that accentuates or shows off any part of my body really.
• I remember from a young age he would always objectify and make comments about women's bodies and just stare in a creepy way. He would do this watching tv and in person. Any woman he found unattractive he would call a dog.
• He would also fondle and grope my mom in front of us and she would ask him to stop and he would laugh and mock her and keep groping her. There were multiple instances when she would break down crying and he would gaslight her feelings and reaction.
• This one may be completely innocent but in combination with the rest it has me questioning it. He would take me shopping a lot and I would come out of the dressing room and show him everything I tried on and sometimes he would take pictures. When my mom took me shopping instead, he would ask for a "fashion show" when I got home.
• When we watched the brady bunch I remember him saying that I reminded him of Marsha brady and him saying that all the boys used to have a crush on her. He also would say that he had a big crush on her when he was a kid.
• One time he called me into his office and told me that he had a song to play that reminded him of me. Then he played the song “Brick House”. After I stood there awkwardly, he tried to backtrack and it was really uncomfortable.
• He told me about objectifying comments his friends would make about me.
• Another thing I find strange is that apparently my grandmother told my uncle that my dad molested him when he was a child. And my dad sat down with my uncle and grandmother and had her tell my uncle that she lied to him about it.....
• He would mock and belittle me when I showed interest in something or tried to share about something I was interested in.
• He would also dismiss and question where any thought or opinion I had came from. He still does this.
• When I would show emotions he would say I was being overdramatic.
• He told me multiple times that he liked me better than my sibling and that I was his favorite.

I am bi and I have been with four men. I definitely prefer girls, as I got with one once and it was probably one of my best experiences and the most turned on I've been. Out of the men, I was most attracted to two of them (A and B). I would've done nearly anything sexually for them.
I was so turned on by them and I would enthusiastically suck A's dick as foreplay nearly every time we had sex (which was super frequent). I was so excited about his body and dick. I thought he had a fantastic dick, even though it was really nothing special. I was also madly in love with him, more than I've ever loved anyone.
B was just once (the relationship ended abruptly). I wasn't turned on by his dick's appearance but I can just tell I would've probably gotten REALLY into the sexual aspect of our relationship if it hadn't ended quite suddenly. Emotionally, it was very intense and I saw myself falling in love with him quickly.
There's nothing wrong with the other two (C and D). I'm extremely attracted to D but I never was very attracted to C, which I'm sure contributed. I hated even looking at C's penis and eventually I usually refused to touch it. It would literally make me feel sick and gag.
I'm just not enthusiastic about D's penis. I don't know why. Nothing is wrong with it. It's actually really nice-looking, for a penis. I'm particular about giving him head, even though I never had this issue with A.
Will my attraction to his dick increase with time? I had known A and B for years before we had taken things to the next level. And they were both close friends of mine. We also easily clicked on intellectual levels and our bodies worked very well together. I think all of those aspects made me really enthusiastic about intimacy with them.
I guess I'm probably demisexual, though I get very turned on until D's penis comes into the picture. What can I do to become more sexually attracted to D? Just spend more time with him? Create more unique experiences with him?

So, me and my Ex broke up about a month ago, she basically told me she wants to move on and hasn't felt love towards me for months, she's getting to know someone and wants to respect him as she did with me during our relationship. I haven't processed it well, I've tried to beg for her to come back till eventually I went NC for a week.
I was doing alright during NC since I was blocked in every social media, one day out of curiosity I checked FaceBook, and it turns out I wasn't blocked. I didn't think too much of it, then I saw her at the gym and I basically didn't look her way, later that day she posts a story of herself with a song talking about; breakups, It didn't work out, incase we see each other again.
I felt it was directly towards me and I reached out and basically told her I missed her and blah blah blah. She said she missed me as well and misses my family and that she thought I was mad at her because of the gym, then later during the conversation she mentions she's still talking with the guy. Then confusingly I asked her: "So all those hints and you saying you missed me as well wasn't true?" She said: "No, I only unblocked you incase you did something stupid, and I miss you but, not like that. I ask you to not text me anymore since I want to have something nice with the guy im talking to." Her whole attitude changed from the start of the convo to the end.
I'm very confused, I told her to block me everywhere because tbh im not capable of doing so, and so she did. I'm going back on NC, and plan on doing so for a long time. I feel she never really got time to process our breakup and found someone else within a week, even though she says she's been over me for a while even during our relationship.
Note: How do you guys maintain NC without thinking too much, am I tripping or is she playing games with me as well. I need advice I can't stop thinking of her every minute of the day.

Lately, my Mom had been going through this thing where she is getting mad at me for being young. She complains about how generation z is messing the world up, how she's ashamed that I'm in this generation, and how she might disown me as an adult if she thinks I'm the wrong type of young person. Both my parents surround me with 24/7 politics to make sure I don't end up with a view they don't want me to have. They told me if I have different views, I'm demonic. It's really been stressing me out because I'm kinda starting to not agree with their views, and I feel guilty. My mom tells me it's her job to make sure I don't go the "wrong way" whether that's politics or my views on the world, and gets angry if I don't agree with her outlandish conspiracy theories. It's driving me insane.

So, me and my Ex broke up about a month ago, she basically told me she wants to move on and hasn't felt love towards me for months, she's getting to know someone and wants to respect him as she did with me during our relationship. I haven't processed it well, I've tried to beg for her to come back till eventually I went NC for a week.
I was doing alright during NC since I was blocked in every social media, one day out of curiosity I checked FaceBook, and it turns out I wasn't blocked. I didn't think too much of it, then I saw her at the gym and I basically didn't look her way, later that day she posts a story of herself with a song talking about; breakups, It didn't work out, incase we see each other again.
I felt it was directly towards me and I reached out and basically told her I missed her and blah blah blah. She said she missed me as well and misses my family and that she thought I was mad at her because of the gym, then later during the conversation she mentions she's still talking with the guy. Then confusingly I asked her: "So all those hints and you saying you missed me as well wasn't true?" She said: "No, I only unblocked you incase you did something stupid, and I miss you but, not like that. I ask you to not text me anymore since I want to have something nice with the guy im talking to." Her whole attitude changed from the start of the convo to the end.
I'm very confused, I told her to block me everywhere because tbh im not capable of doing so, and so she did. I'm going back on NC, and plan on doing so for a long time. I feel she never really got time to process our breakup and found someone else within a week, even though she says she's been over me for a while even during our relationship.
Note: How do you guys maintain NC without thinking too much, am I tripping or is she playing games with me as well. I need advice I can't stop thinking of her every minute of the day.

I don't remember the first part very well, but what I do vaguely remember about it is getting some sort of weird plastic surgery to make my face smaller. I was walking to a dock and there was a line of individual boats set up down a narrow river, and everyone got on one boat and rowed to school. While I was getting on the boat, I remember noticing some sort of complication with the face surgery? Specifically, the designated helmet didn't fit me while I was getting on the boat, it was too small for me, so my face had presumably swelled up and become bigger after the surgery, so the person minding the boats told me I wasn't allowed to go with everyone else. The next scene was at the doctor's. (Btw, this entire part is 100% influenced by a manga I read about a plastic surgery gone wrong day before yesterday).
I don't remember what the doctor said, only that it was very serious and life threatening.
The next scene I remember, is riding on bikes with a friend. The friend isn't anyone I know in real life, I don't think they're even really based on anyone irl, just an original character. Suddenly, while we're riding our bikes to god knows where, a huge, fleshy monster appears. And by huge I mean huge, it towers over us by several meters and completely blocks the road with its sheer size. Strangely enough, there's no one else on the road except us. But this is where the really fucked up part starts.
The monster reaches out long arms shaped like pincers and opens my stomach, promptly starts taking out my internal organs one by one. Just when you think it's done, it reaches in to pull out something else, like a gallbladder or an intestine. All while my friend watches in abject horror. Eventually, the monster is done, zips my stomach back up (with no wound left behind) and leaves.
My friend and I get into fight right after, because he's mad I hid something from him (?). Considering it happened right after the monster attack, it had to be something related to that, the only other significant point I remember is the plastic surgery, so maybe the monster attack had something to do with the surgery? And he's upset I hid the surgery from him? I have no idea.
Anyways, after this I remember going home, and my home in the dream looks nothing like my actual home. It's a lot bigger, shinier, and I specifically wandered around the huge garden with a lot of flowers. I remember a few scenes where I talk to my mother, but I don't remember it well enough to describe anything about it.
The last thing I remember before I woke up is that I was trying to recover and find treatments that would save me from an inevitable death from losing my organs, but also slowly realizing that any treatments would most likely fail and I would almost certainly die.
The last thing I felt was a mixture of fear and hesitating hope for recovery, sadness that my life ended just as I was 18-19 and I didn't even get to go to University, and a struggle to accept my own death and come to terms with it even though I was so sad about it.
I think this counts as a nightmare, but I didn't feel truly scared in the dream, just a mix of anxiety, worry, and sadness.

tl;dr: GF broke up with me because we're approaching the year mark and we aren't married/engaged yet, but we shared a lot together and I think it's all my fault and I want to fix it but I'm blocked everywhere.
Trigger alert: I've made a lot of mistakes but I'm just going to be blunt and honest to get actionable feedback. Also this is more-so of a different situation than most people as we're both Muslim-Americans and typically things are done more traditionally in our community.
Posting here because my posts in MuslimMarriage keep getting removed for reasons I don't think are fair.
Long story short, I met this girl about a year ago and we fell in love and met each other's families like 2 months in, went on trips secretly, even lived together for 4-5 months (all this in secret from our families) and had sex regularly. As far as our parents knew, we just met up once in a while, as we both live far away in a different city.
Our families initially got along well, but 6 months into it, her mom got mad at my family and called me to yell at me, for my parents asking some more details about her family with a different mutual family. Her parents are divorced and dad is not in the picture and very few male members of the family available to chat to. My parents as a result told me to hold off on the engagement/marriage for another 6 months and they got a bad feeling that her mother might cause some trouble for me later down the line as a result of her mother's phone call.
Approaching the 1 year mark, we were supposed to get engaged and then get married shortly after and we both went and bought a whole bunch of gold, dresses, etc, for the function and she was excited and so was I, and I paid for it all because I love this girl and want to be with her forever. But then my dad had an emergency surgery that popped up that delayed things by another month and she and her mom were really angry about this. 2 days later, she messages me over text saying she wants to end things, and now I'm blocked everywhere.
Of course, I'm embarrassed by this, but I only did this because I thought I was going to marry this girl. We have A LOT of history together now and it's killing me that I did all this with her and now she's just a stranger. Everyone knows that we were together, and I'm all in her university pictures for every function.
I honestly think her decision was greatly influenced by her mother who was getting annoyed that we hadn't made anything official, which I understand, but her actions slowed things down. If anything, when she called and yelled at me, my parents were ready to walk away from everything, so it took a while to even get them to come back and even agree to 6 more months. And if anything, now that we've spent all this time knowing each other, doing all of this, it's all the more reason that we should be together since we've done so much more.
It's been a month since this breakup happened and I've gotten nowhere; I've tried calling heher mom/her friends and its all radio silence. I emailed her with all the details, telling her that we can get married, as soon as in 2 weeks, and all that she needed to do was to call me back and I would sort out everything, but no response to that.
She used to tell me that she loved me and that she would never give up on us. She told me that she was a virgin and that she would never leave as we had given it up to each other and I feel so incredibly guilty about it too, because now I've shared this super big thing with someone who is now just a stranger. I really wish that she would at least just pick up the phone so that we can talk about it and I'm confident that we can sort out all of our issues if we just communicated but she's gone. My family tells me that this was a good thing for me because being in a relationship with someone who's so quick to leave, and someone who takes a hard line and doesn't want to communicate with you. They say that, it's possible that she would just leave/divorce you down the line when times got tough because it wasn't what she wanted, and that I got off "lucky" with just a break up. I don't know if that's true or not, but it does bother me so much that she always told me that she loved me and would never leave, but now she broke up with me over text and just vanished. It's so heartless and cold, especially with someone you've spent all this time with and all of these milestones.
We have so many memories together, so many trips, so many photos, so much everything and now it just hurts so much inside knowing that I shared all of these things with her and it looks like these things don't even mean much to her? Maybe she is thinking the same thing as me and crying as well and is just trying to take a hard line, but unsure of why? I guess I'll never know.
I've stopped reaching out at this point because it just seems pointless and I don't know if it's even helping. But I have this empty feeling inside of me and I don't know what to even do. I feel cheated and just frustrated and I'm so angry at myself for doing all of this with someone who was lying about their feelings throughout.
My friends told me to download the dating apps and find someone else, and I tried that but, it just feels like I'm cheating on my ex-girlfriend and I don't even want to do all that I did with her with someone else. I don't think I'll ever find anyone like her and I'm just super depressed and I feel like it's all my fault; if I had just proposed like 6-8 months in like she wanted, we wouldn't be here right now. Now I'm losing sleep over her every single night.

We're on a team of eight SWE interns working on a full stack app to be used internally.
One of them is pissing me off.
She insisted on something being true. I went along because she certainly knows more about React and Webpack than me. But it caused a whole lot of extra work and headache for me just to figure out that she was wrong. I'm not mad that she was wrong. I'm mad she didn't acknowledge her fault and apologize for being so damned insistent about it.
She developed a React component earlier in the week that she knew was not going to work after we made changes to the app but she somehow got approval and it got pushed to development. I only figure this out after pulling from development and seeing errors in my browser. So she's creating more work for whoever is going to fix that. And for a trivial thing like a progress bar... we don't even have basic fucking CRUD operations working for this app yet and you're spending energy to make a progress bar that will break very soon...
This week we start a new sprint and bring in new tickets. We're assigning points to stories and she explains why a certain ticket should get higher points (she has laid claim to taking this ticket). This particular ticket is a lot of work. So I ask "what about breaking this task into smaller tickets?" She stumbles over her words for a few moments before saying "well its just one page and we'd be stepping on each other's toes so it's better if one person does it" But we're constantly stepping on each others' toes anyway by nature of working in the same repo... her progress bar component is stepping on other people's toes!!!!!!! She didn't even think about the idea of breaking up the ticket. She fumbled her words to try to think of an objection as quickly as possible. Why?? There are clear advantages to breaking a large ticket into smaller tasks. Maybe it's not appropriate in this circumstance but why the fuck do you immediately shut it down??
She is regarded as the front end expert on the team apparently because any time a question about it comes up, the response is "just ask ____" which is another problem entirely.
Admit when you're wrong. Don't be so insistent that you think you know something. Don't be so fast to shut down other people's ideas.

I have found the old post (somehow I was smart to save it-)
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My Life in a Homophobic and Lowkey Racist Family
I am a Mexican teenager that uses the pronouns “They/Them”. If you came up to me, you wouldn’t know what my gender is since I have my hair cut short, I wear baggy yet nice clothes, and I have a mask on majority of the time when I’m in public. The only problem is my family. See, I live with my dad and my step-mom (my real mom abandoned me when I was a kid because she thought drugs was more important than her four kids). Both side of the family (I’ll refer my step-mom “mom” and her family “my family” in order to not confuse people) are Christians. I’m an atheist. I have been since I was 10. So whenever I have to do anything for a church, I am usually in a awkward position to the point where I ask my mom to pick me up. I also hate a lot of people, so don’t expect me to be in a party (unless I’m forced by my parents but that’s another story). I’m just an awkward kid that likes anime and hates people. Well, I came out pansexual to my parents. Well, mostly my dad. My mom on the other hand hates it. My dad supports me. I came out a year ago. I then thought that my dad would support me if I used the term “They/Them”. I came out as Non-Binary a day in October. My dad took me outside (in the cold without a coat) and left me outside for nearly 30 minutes. He told me that I would always be a girl.
“You were born as a girl, so you will always be a girl. You won’t be a boy or whatever the hell you want to be.”
His words, not mine.
I have been depressed ever since I was 11. It’s not major as before, but I’ve tried to commit suicide twice already. When I tried to, my parents sent me to a mental hospital. Then when I came back, I was acted all nice just to hide my true self. My parents believed that I was just trying to cause drama. I have actually starved myself, cut myself, making myself throw up. What’s worse is that my family likes to bring up things from my past and stuff like, “Remember the time when you thought of being a boy? (My dad told me this year when my younger cousins were right next to me). They think I’ll end up like my real mother. I can’t tell anybody in my family that I’m pansexual and non-binary because they hate gay people and will disown anyone.
I forgot to mention that my family on my dad side is kind of racist. You see, I have a Korean brother. Both me and him look alike, so people just assume that we’re both Mexicans. My dad likes to call me his ‘beaner’ because I’m part Mexican. Then, earlier this year, my dad’s mom said, “I wish all of these Mexicans and Black people would just leave me alone. Or probably go back to wherever they came from. I can’t stand them.”
Again, her words, not mine.
I also can’t forget about all the things I have to do while my little sister gets to be on her iPad all day and yet I get yelled at. I have chores before school, after school, and during the weekends/breaks/etc. My sister is 9 and I was 7 when I started to mow the whole yard (and I have 6 acres). The only thing my sister has to do is to water the dogs and I have to tell her to because she has her eyes on her iPad. I didn’t get my iPad until this year, and I saved my money for it! She got hers four years ago on Christmas! I was never allowed an electrical device until I was in my double digits and was in high school. Then, whenever I tell my parents that my sister should take some of my chores, they would get mad and say, “You’re not doing a lot so stop complaining.”
A lot…
I’m not doing a lot…
Morning:
Wake up at 6
Dishes
Get ready for school
Feed Dogs/Cats
Water for Cats
Get Sister up and ready for school
Be ready by 6:45
Afternoon:
Feed Dogs/Cats
Water Cats
Clean the liter box
Sweep
Vacuum
Dust
Clean mirrors
Clean windows
Clean couches
Clean bathroom
Dishes
Laundry
Mop
Clean basement stairs
Sweep in the basement
Vacuum in the basement
Clean the walls in the basement
Outside (when nice)
Sweep the barn
Mow the whole yard
Clean around the fences
Burn the trash
Clean around the house
Clean around the barns (we have 2)
Clean around the trees
Clean the barns (inside)
Clean around the burn hole
*clean-cutting raking picking sticks etc.
Outside (Winter)
Shovel the back porch/front porch
Shovel the driveway
Burn the trash
All of my chores are done by myself….
I can’t even get a job until I’m out of the house because my parents said, “Who’s going to do all of the stuff.”
I don’t know if this goes to entiledparents or toxic-family, but here you go. Just two more years until I’m free.

Single mother lives in her car with her son and daughter. The daughter has a friend who doesn’t know they live in the car, and the mom of the daughters friend gets mad at her for having food on her shirt.
At the end of the movie the single mom moves into the guest house/room of the daughters family.

Blurry memory.
The manga starts with an OP mc being locked up. Many years passed like 100-ish, there were fighting close to where mc was jailed and he is freed. Mad mc goes in a killing spree and ends up in the moon where there is a capsule with a tree in the middle. (like sandy's treedome)
Mc continues killing and there's a girl that stops him.
That's all I remember, thanks beforehand!

I always go to school, get judged and then get made fun of because I look ugly. I accidently said something that sounded like a girl name and this girl said "Gyma is your imaginary girlfriend becsuse you cant pull" and right then and there i wanted to grab my computer and smack her with it. Theres this other guy that also always says this and that about me, my friend and our families. She, my friend is unserstandably mad. Im also frustrated not onlu because of me going to school, coming and and being exhausted but as i metioned earlier about something I accidently said, i told my friend (his name i will not be sharing but i should but wont.) About my new girlfriend i got with and he is from Columbia and dosent understands america fully but i have insulted him before as a joke and he said friends dont do that but i explained how in america its a joke. (No the girl and others that bully me arent joking theu do it every day.) He said oh ok mesning he understands but after i was telling him about my girlfriend he told the whole class. Obviously when i found out i was furious. This was at the beggining of the school yesr and its almodt the end and they still say how my girlfriend is imaginary. Its getting annoying. Besides that i have another problem. Im starting to have suicidal thoughts. I don't even know what to do with my self anymore..after school I always have to do this and that and I'm bottling up my emotions and start to think on hurting others which I've never done before. Every day I come home more angry then the last day and mom mom noticed it today. She said I've been acting strange and I lied to her because I don't want her to know but I do but then it'll be akward and I'll probably go to a mental hospital or go to a counselor and either one is gonna take even more energy I'm assuming so I haven't told anyone. You probably asking why not tell your teacher or counselor? If I would they'd contact my mom or grandma. I'm stuck. I don't know what to do anymore i think I'm gonna go cut my self or even worse. Please help and thank you for taking the time for reading this.

advice is welcomed and encouraged. please be respectful. i’ve always had this fear of becoming a terrible person like those in my family. all of my life i tried my best to be helpful, kind and compassionate. while i do my best to forgive myself and let go of past mistakes, they honestly haunt me sometimes. like those times where i got angry and said cruel things. recently my ex best friend and i got into a huge fight. i felt like he was mad at me all day because there was tension and i kept overanalyzing everything i said because he seemed mad or upset sometimes.i told myself i was overthinking it cuz it seemed fine later on but at the end of the day he raised his voice at me telling me i need to calm down and watch how i talk to him. i didnt call him names and i was trying my best to be kind? idk like im not saying he made it all up or something. i could have had an attitude and not noticed but from my perspective in that moment i did nothing wrong & had no idea he was mad until he was raising his voice at me. tbh i tried to be patient but eventually lost it and said he thinks everyone is a big bully, which was pretty harsh. its just that his reaction caught me off guard and he went from always saying how grounded and calm i was to saying im always angry and triggered. once i became more aware of what i could do to help myself mentally, its been my top priority. i rarely get angry these days because of it like i’ve never been this happy in my life. i overthink but im a fairly positive person in my day to day like small things dont get me down. he isnt and acknowledges this. most of the time i felt like talking to him encouraged more negative thoughts in me. u are who u hang around type beat. but i loved him, i always will. before this i told myself to be patient during times it drained me bcuz thats my best friend and he just needs some time. anyways idk i didn't like being told i feel this way because i cant express this enough: i felt fine all day, i rarely get angry anymore. i laughed while explaining something over and over but it upset him because now im assuming it came off as condescending. but yeah ironically enough, him calling me triggered when i wasn't, triggered me lmao. but this isnt a typical feeling i have with him. i've never said something that cruel or mean to him but i was fed up. i just didn't like him raising his voice at me and expecting me to apologize more than once while saying he handled it perfectly.i do not let anyone raise their voice at me because i don't raise my voice at others. it felt like he was projecting, calling me angry and triggered when he finds a new person to be mad at everyday. its almost like my brain said “triggered? i can show u triggered!” idk. he may have bpd as well, idk if thats at all relevant. anyways we just went at each other and it ended terribly. it always ends this way with us, we have known each other for 10 years so maybe its just time to close the chapter and stop pretending we dont know how it ends fr. but my problem is now i cant stop thinking im a fraud and hes right i speak to everyone terribly. everyone has bad moments but what if thats who i am? what if everyone else thinks i speak to everyone “like shit” too?? truthfully we both fucked up imo cuz i should've put my phone down when i got mad. but dude ive taken like 10000 "am i mean?" "am i bad person?" quizzes and keep reading endless articles about "how to tell if people secretly think ur mean." after i did that stuff i realized i was ruminating A LOT and try to replace the thoughts with other things like tv or songwriting.but then i think "no, if ur a bad person u need to know now" THEN i think "just move on, try ur best to be nice and don't be reactive." idek if someone will read this but if u do, thank u cuz tbh i need to tell someone even if its a random reddit person

I get I'm not the best person to tell if ur sexting someone, or ina sexual relationship. Honestly i get it, my reactions haven't been the best or even remotely neutral when I was informed my friends were upholding sexual relationships.
I've thought it over over and over again, and I'm starting to think its cuz MY experiences have only ended up hurting me in numerous ways. (Still healing btw). And the last thing I want is for them to have panic attacks in public because something reminded them of the ppl that hurt them.
I've deleted my social media accs, started a new, tried to forget what's happened and not stay angry at those who hurt me, but even when i think I've made progress I end up side eying every man that my friends mentioned and I've somehow managed to make them filter what they talk about.
I got mad saying their bad friends for not trusting me but I'm starting to think IM the bad friend for not being more open minded

I don’t recall having eczema as a kid - at least not like this - I do recall being allergic to certain dish soaps and cats but recently (over the last 6+ months) I started getting a patch on my pinky only on my right hand.
It’s since spread (I guess due to my uncontrollable madding irresistible urge to scratch until I want to die) to my entire pinky, my other three fingers and down the front face of my right hand.
I’ve used a prescribed triancinilone steroid - which was prescribed for a first time flare up on my left hand that cleared up and has not come back. Which seemed to work for a bit but I’m apprehensive I’m using it wrong or shouldn’t use it long term…. Then was using aquaphor / Vaseline which seemed to work for a second especially with the steroid.
As it got worse I moved to Cereve (nope), a clickbait product called eczema honey (meh) and finally have found some relief with a beef tallow salve a friend made (I have no idea what’s in it besides beef tallow cuz friend and I know longer talk) and some cold compresses when the itching is so bad. I’m also using antibacterial soap which dries my skin out but never know if I should moisturize or not as sometimes it aggravates and sometimes it’s relieving .
Heat really seems to aggravate it (hot watedry heat) as well as just any contact which makes doing anything hard as it’s my dominate hand My skin is very itchy, scaly and dry, tight, painful, red and angry plus I get small bumps sometimes fluid filled.
It often feels like three steps toward two steps back in trying to get it to heal - but not sure what or if there’s a root…..and is making me very depressed…..I apologize for my ignorance - I just feel new to it all.
Anyway I have a doctors appointment tomorrow. Im not sure what I’m doing, maybe just trying to find some support… I hope it’s okay I posted.

HE!Y LADS! So i'm someone who has picked the game up about 2 months ago and even though i haven't played it daily and haven't played over 200 hours yet i like it very much!
But... honestly looking at the state it is in i'm honestly quite sad. I like how some classes play and i'm having some preogress on it but i don't knwo if i want to stay involved in the game if it's just on it's straight course to death.
From my experience the game already has a P2W problem that i'm at a severe advantage simply because i haven't spent any money on it so i can't use voice commands or even propperly communicate with team mates. Which for a game called Team Fortres seems to be pretty ironic.
I know that is already a concern most people have realised by now but there is something i did realise was that i can't start a vote kick for bots. Maybe small and maybe only happening to me but i'm still commenting on it.
I know most of that could be mitigated by just buying something on mann co but the thing is that first i'm not american so anything on dolar is much more expensive and second, even though i know it's pointless i feel this is a "Vote with you wallet" situation.
So yeah basically i'm very conflicted with the game. it's good but very frustrating, it's high quality but i don't know if i should allow myself to care for something if it'll end up dying.
It has been like 6 years since the last content update right? I hear i can try uncletopia to mitigate most of that but i don't know if the server pairs me with peopl around my level of skill caus ei AM very bad so entering a game and not being able to play is purely frustrating.
i'm not trying to get anyone mad btw just... putting my thoughts out there and hoping screaming intot he void an echo comes back i i may sound poetic.
Also sorry if naything sounded cluncky i'm not native speaker.

It was a lovely, but cloudy day in the small city I lived in. Me and my ex friend waited all day for school to end, and when the bell rang, we raced each other to our bus.
"Now that seems innocent." you might say, but it was quite the opposite. I won the race and stood in front of the door to catch my breath because my ex friend, I'll call him T, was no where near me. T then rushed straight into me, jabbing his elbow into my side to push me out of the way.
Having enough energy, and assuming it was an accident, I walk up to the door and up the steps. Then I get spun around and T proceeds to choke me. Like anyone else in that situation, I started to punch him to break free, but I had lost most of my energy to keep me conscious.
Just as the world faded to black, a teacher pulled T away from me, then I was able to breath again. We were then brought to the office and had to tell our Vice Principal what happened. I will call him Mr. VP. Mr. VP then turned to T and asked him if he wanted ISS or OSS, and T replied ISS for his own reasons.
Then Mr. VP told him he would have to serve ISS for three days, and then T left. Mr. VP then called my mom, and she arrived shortly after. Now me and Mr. VP weren't on the best terms, he always saw me as a trouble maker for some reason, I still don't know why till this day.
But anyways, he turns to my mom and says, "Your son got into a fight with another student as they were boarding the bus, I gave the other student 3 days of ISS, and your son will spend one week in OSS." I then snapped at him saying, "WHY THE H.E.Double hockey sticks(I did say the H word) ARE YOU GIVING ME MORE TIME THAN T?!" My mom got mad at me for yelling at Mr. VP.
He then manipulated my mom into thinking that I was the cause of assault, even though I did nothing but defend myself from death. The next day my mom realized I was defending myself and called him, demanding he let me into school again. He refused.
So, Am I the Jerk? Let me know in the comments below.

It feels like nothing. It just feels like it’s been too long since a sale every time you sell something. You think it will pick up but it doesn’t. What really feels like something is people telling you they were looking at your work and that they love it. But when that runs out, and no one is looking, it’s good to have put the memories in someone. And when the memories fade, it feels good to study art to try and give people new memories. And then you show them the study or the stated work, and you give them memories, and they feel better than if they felt nothing. And then, at the end, you are mad they don’t pay you for it.