Chicago bears sports mockery

The Subreddit for the Suburbs of Chicago

2011.08.25 00:16 emememaker73 The Subreddit for the Suburbs of Chicago

News, events and discussions from the suburbs of Chicago, including Cook, DuPage, Kane, Kendall, Lake, McHenry and Will counties in Illinois, LaPorte, Lake and Porter counties in Indiana, and Kenosha County, Wisconsin.

2010.08.22 05:08 thatguy142 Miami Dolphins

The official subreddit of the Miami Dolphins football team. Discussions about the latest team news, players, game recaps, and more!

2011.03.24 17:06 f4nt Chicago Fire Soccer

A place to talk about Chicago Fire FC of Major League Soccer (MLS)

2023.06.01 23:45 adamsc18 How long should a person be actively healthy before trying to have kids?

I’ve been wondering lately about my health and fitness and also my lil spermies. I have a question that could be interesting for others to discuss but bear with me please while I give the context.
I’m 22 y/o male. Been smoking heavily since 18 and I like to drink alcohol but i seldom drink the past 2 or 3 years. I was also a heavy weed smoker for 3 years until very recently.
I’m inactive in terms of exercise and sport but I work in a supermarket so I regularly get upwards of 10k steps a day and throughout high school I was fairly active in a lot of sports.
Now for the biology part. I’m fully aware my habits and lifestyle are terrible for my body and sperm health. I want to one day have kids and I want them to be as healthy as I can possibly allow them to be.
How long does it take for sperm to “bounce back” and become as healthy as they can. Also, with the age I am and my previous lack of care have I caused any irreparable damage?
submitted by adamsc18 to biology [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 23:40 AutoNewspaperAdmin [Sports] - Rebekah Gardner undergoes foot surgery, depleting the Chicago Sky roster to 9 players Chicago Tribune

[Sports] - Rebekah Gardner undergoes foot surgery, depleting the Chicago Sky roster to 9 players Chicago Tribune submitted by AutoNewspaperAdmin to AutoNewspaper [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 23:38 AutoNewsAdmin [Sports] - Rebekah Gardner undergoes foot surgery, depleting the Chicago Sky roster to 9 players

[Sports] - Rebekah Gardner undergoes foot surgery, depleting the Chicago Sky roster to 9 players submitted by AutoNewsAdmin to CHICAGOTRIBauto [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 23:17 Danielito97 2022 Acura RDX

2022 Acura RDX
Car shopping this month and I am wondering if this is a good deal? I’ve been looking for an Acura RDX or TLX for a while. The RDX in the picture has 1,700 miles on it. One thing that worries me is it not being Certified Pre-Owned, but would I have to worry about that with the miles being so low? TYI for any advice
submitted by Danielito97 to Acura [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 23:14 AutoNewspaperAdmin [Sports] - Chicago White Sox face a challenging June — 7 straight series against teams with winning records, Aaron Judge and more Shohei Ohtani Chicago Tribune

[Sports] - Chicago White Sox face a challenging June — 7 straight series against teams with winning records, Aaron Judge and more Shohei Ohtani Chicago Tribune submitted by AutoNewspaperAdmin to AutoNewspaper [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 23:13 AutoNewspaperAdmin [Sports] - Patrick Kane expected to be out 4-6 months after undergoing hip surgery Chicago Sun-Times

[Sports] - Patrick Kane expected to be out 4-6 months after undergoing hip surgery Chicago Sun-Times submitted by AutoNewspaperAdmin to AutoNewspaper [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 23:11 opticalorange2000 Chicago tickets Cash + feet pics

Title says it all. I have 3 tickets for Chicago June 3rd, purchased through the Chicago Bears Club Presale. Floor Section S. Paypal Goods and Services only! 18+ only thanks!
submitted by opticalorange2000 to erastourtickets [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 23:10 RedsModerator Game Thread: Reds @ Red Sox - Thu, Jun 01 @ 07:10 PM EDT

Reds @ Red Sox - Thu, Jun 01

Game Status: Pre-Game - First Pitch is scheduled for 07:10 PM EDT

Links & Info

NLC Rank Team W L GB (E#) WC Rank WC GB (E#)
1 Milwaukee Brewers 29 27 - (-) - - (-)
2 Pittsburgh Pirates 28 27 0.5 (107) 3 - (-)
3 Cincinnati Reds 26 29 2.5 (105) 6 2.0 (105)
4 St. Louis Cardinals 25 32 4.5 (102) 9 4.0 (102)
5 Chicago Cubs 24 31 4.5 (103) 10 4.0 (103)
Probable Pitcher (Season Stats) Report
Reds Hunter Greene (1-4, 4.18 ERA, 56.0 IP) No report posted.
Red Sox Chris Sale (5-2, 4.72 ERA, 55.1 IP) No report posted.
Reds Lineup vs. Sale AVG OPS AB HR RBI K
1 Newman - 3B - - - - - -
2 McLain - SS - - - - - -
3 India - 2B - - - - - -
4 Steer - 1B - - - - - -
5 Stephenson, T - DH - - - - - -
6 Fairchild - RF - - - - - -
7 Senzel - LF - - - - - -
8 Barrero - CF - - - - - -
9 Casali - C .429 1.429 7 1 1 3
10 Greene, H - P - - - - - -
Red Sox Lineup vs. Greene, H AVG OPS AB HR RBI K
1 Verdugo - RF .500 1.500 2 0 2 0
2 Devers - 3B .500 1.500 2 0 0 1
3 Turner, J - DH .400 1.000 5 0 0 0
4 Yoshida - LF - - - - - -
5 Duran, Ja - CF - - - - - -
6 Hernández, K - SS - - - - - -
7 Casas - 1B - - - - - -
8 Wong - C - - - - - -
9 Valdez, E - 2B - - - - - -
10 Sale - P - - - - - -

Division Scoreboard

MIL 1 @ TOR 3 - Final
Last Updated: 06/01/2023 05:42:28 PM EDT
submitted by RedsModerator to Reds [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 22:58 PragmaticGeriatrics The New-To-Me FRS, and the quest for acceptable

I just picked up a black 2013 single owner FR-S with 75,000 miles for a reasonable price. I live in Madison, took a bus to Chicago to pick it up after having Lemon Squad check it out(fairly disappointed in them). It had been maintained by the owner, but has some smaller issues that I will be taking care of over the coming weeks. I am starting this post to document the issues I fixed, and get the opinion of the forum on some issues that come up.
First group of "repairs" - driving home I noted a significant, rhythmic vibration that was very notable above 70mph. There is also a burning oil smell that is most notable when going slower, or creeping forward in traffic. On arriving home I found that the front passenger side wheel, and rear drivers side wheel each had only 4 lugnuts on. My fault for not noticing when I picked up the car( I assumed something like this would have been noted on the inspection I paid for), but this gives an idea of the corner cutting the car has been experiencing for the past several years. Breaking free the lugnuts, it was obvious that they were over-torqued, and the studs had never seen anti-seize. I had to repair the threads on one of the studs, but otherwise had no issues switching over to some RPF-1s I had from my WRX, and luckily kept the lugnuts that fit those wheels from before. This got rid of the vibration, but I now notice a creaking/clicking noise from the rear drivers side suspension that I haven't figured out yet. The tires are a few year old hankook V12s, and the car was hilariously tail happy until the glaze wore off.
I also did the H9 conversion for the main beams, and had to replace a turn signal bulb to get rid of the hyper-fast turn signal rate.
the source of the burning oil smell seems to be from a oil leak on the rear of the engine block on the passenger side. a little googling led me to find out this was a cylinder head cover plate that commonly leaks oil. Rather than rely on RTV again, I got an aftermarket billet cover from nameless performance, which I will put on next week. I will also replace the PCV valve and hose, as that has never been replaced, and I suspect that this is part of the issue with the leaking.

Issues that I have found but haven't decided what to do yet.
  1. loud wind noise from passenger side window, the vertical front window gasket(between the triangle and main window) is very loose and I suspect this is the issue. Im not sure how I plan to fix it, but it will likely involve a heat gun and clamps.
  2. the black plastic part of the drivers visor that clicks into the hook on the roof cracked off and it bounces everywhere when Im driving. I might just warp that in electric tape, but It might be worth the 50 dollars to just replace the whole piece.
  3. the buttons next to the dash dont work at all(odo, Kph/Mph/Display). I havent found anyone talking about this issue, the part isnt super expensive, but Im not sure it is the buttons, and not sure how to test where the fault is.
  4. look into the creaking/clicking sound from the drivers rear suspension
  5. need a place to put my cell, where do people mount their phones in these cars?
issues my inability to call good enough alone will drive me to do
  1. Im planning on looking at the throttle body to see if it needs to be cleaned
  2. I doubt the spark plugs have been replaced, so that will be done this summer as well
  3. replace the oil and filter
  4. the owner reported changing the rear diff and tranny fluid in the past 20k miles, will likely replace it in the next several months anyway just to be sure
  5. brake fluid was done in the last 2 years, and pads look like they are fine. Rotors are surprisingly good(light car I guess). will probably do all of that next year.
  6. the air intake box is cracked where the tube from the front enters it. I should replace it, but it really only means a bit more hot air is entering the filter. I read that Cold air kits really dont benefit these cars, and I would rather not drop a few hundred on that right now
  7. the car came with K-Sport coilovers, I will likely put them on or have them put on this summer as well. they likely have less than 20k miles on them. the prior owner took them off for being too stiff for chicago roads. the current springs are pretty harsh, so Im a little hesitant to try the coilovers out.
  8. the doors do not stay open, I will eventually replace the door stays, but dont want to take the door panels off more than necessary to avoid breaking any tabs. would likely put in some sound deadening material at the same time when I do.
im sure more will come up, and I will document this. Also if anyone is in the madison area and is interested in some 18x7.5 drag wheels with worn out tires on them I would be willing to sell them at a very reasonable price.
submitted by PragmaticGeriatrics to ft86 [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 22:48 AutoNewsAdmin [Sports] - Chicago White Sox face a challenging June — 7 straight series against teams with winning records, Aaron Judge and more Shohei Ohtani

[Sports] - Chicago White Sox face a challenging June — 7 straight series against teams with winning records, Aaron Judge and more Shohei Ohtani submitted by AutoNewsAdmin to CHICAGOTRIBauto [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 22:18 westernlefty My New Board. [38YO]

My New Board. [38YO]
I built this about a month ago after a long hiatus and a desire to get back in the bowls and feel that joy. I have also been really feeling the connection of the sport with the culture of pushing back against authority. To that effect I was so happy to see and hear rebellious younger folks shredding to King Diamond and not giving a crap at the Golden, CO Skate Park. The kids are alright.
It was amazing to build the board the way I actually wanted it. Growing up, I dreamed of all the trick parts and (Bones Swiss Bearings). So, it was cathartic to get those bearings, Powell Dragon wheels, and colorful hardware.
Stoked to be back at it and know others are doing the same, just with more ibuprofen and pads now, lol.
submitted by westernlefty to OldSkaters [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 22:12 numindast The entire front page of my local newspaper site. ONE headline.

The entire front page of my local newspaper site. ONE headline. submitted by numindast to mildlyinfuriating [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 22:09 DryShoe3536 Vin Assigned!

Just wanted to post a DP. Ordered May 6th 2022. Converted to 24 and given $5k credit, free super charging for 2 years via EV Go. North Chicago. 24 Sport 1 Grey with Grey interior.
Dealer quoted me 5/29 production. Got the message 5/30 with the Vin.
Just a heads up, it did not immediately say on the affiliate website for Cadillac/GM that my vehicle would qualify for tax rebate. Updated today, 48 hours later that it would indeed!
Still unsure how long I’ll keep it, but excited for delivery!
submitted by DryShoe3536 to CadillacLyriq [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 21:59 TurkeyOfAlbuquerque Chicago Downtown Area BJJ/MMA/Striking Recommendations

Good afternoon all!
I'll be moving to Chicago soon, living in the Downtown/Loop area. Selling my car, so pure Lamborfeeties for transportation, so the closer the better. I'm looking for a gym that teaches great BJJ, but also has respectable striking instruction too.
From the research I've done so far on here, it seems Valko BJJ is the place to go and is likely where I'll be attending for BJJ, as its a short walk/bike ride from my apartment. For anyone that attends the boxing/MMA at Valko BJJ, what are your thoughts?
The ideal scenario is to attend a gym that offers great BJJ instruction and striking instruction, but if that's just not a real possibility, I'll bite the bullet and attend a pure BJJ and pure Muay Thai gym.
Does anyone have any recommendations on gyms in Chicago that offer both great BJJ and boxing/Muay Thai/MMA?
For context, I am very much so a beginner at any striking sport, with less than 6 months of experience so by no means do I need super specialized instruction, just somewhere that will help me build good fundamentals and progress from there. BJJ is still my priority, which is why Valko BJJ is so high on my list.
Thank you all!
submitted by TurkeyOfAlbuquerque to bjj [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 21:54 Skrullor [A4A]“Crawl Out Through The Fallout” [Fallout ASMR] [Overseer Speaker] [Vault Dweller Listener]

Disclaimer: Use of this script is allowed for monetized videos as long as it’s not for anything hidden behind a paywall.
(**): Description for the scene and for what’s happening, also the Listeners vague responses.
(“”): ASMRist Dialogue.
([]): Description on how the ASMRist should sound to help set the tone of the dialogue. Mostly a suggestion. ——————————————————————
The scene opens up in the overseer's office as the overseer (ASMRist) clicks away at the keyboard on their terminal writing up some sort of report. The door to their office would open, and through it came one of the vault dwellers (Listener) who was summoned to the overseer's office by the overseer for an important reason.
[In a clam and polite greeting]
Overseer: “Greetings, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen you face to face like this. There is so much to do around here that I barely have time to leave the office and mingle with the rest of the vault.”
The Listener would ask if they were in trouble, as that is usually the reason non security personnel or non essential personnel get called into the office.
[Trying to persuade them that they are not in trouble]
Overseer: “No, you're not in trouble, I’m actually here to give you an amazing opportunity! You see, you have been randomly selected to retake the ‘Generalized Occupational Aptitude Test’, also known as the ‘G.O.A.T.’ that every resident of a vault is required to take at the age of 16.”
The Listener asks why they are being offered to retake it, as they have never heard of anyone retaking the test before.
Overseer: “Well I know it’s unprecedented, but I was reviewing some of the test scores of the previous years and I feel like some of the vault members weren’t fully ready to take such an important test so early on. The person you are now is different then who you were a few years ago, and I want you to be put in a career that will maximize your efficiency in the vault. Besides, my daughter told me how nervous you were when you took the first test, don’t you want a second chance to maybe be something greater? Unless you enjoy your job as the ‘vault loyalty inspector’?”
The Listener is hesitant but agrees, and the overseer pulls out some papers and a pencil.
Overseer: “Perfect, I’ll give you the questions and fill in your test as you answer. Don’t second guess yourself, there are no wrong answers.”
The overseer shuffles some papers and begins to read
[Read the questions and answers as if reading a multiple choice quiz]
“First Question: You are approached by a frenzied Vault scientist, who yells, ‘I'm going to put my quantum harmonizer in your photonic resonation chamber!’ What's your response?
‘But doctor, wouldn't that cause a parabolic destabilization of the fission singularity?
‘Yeah? Up yours too, buddy!’
Say nothing, grab a nearby pipe and hit the scientist in the head to knock him out. For all you knew, he was planning to blow up the vault.
Say nothing, but slip away before the scientist can continue his rant.
Pick one of the answers provided.”
The Listener answers, and the Overseer writes down the answer.
Overseer: “That’s what I would have gone for too, next question:”
They say as they turn to the next page.
“Question 2: While working as an intern in the Clinic, a patient with a strange infection on his foot stumbles through the door. The infection is spreading at an alarming rate, but the doctor has stepped out for a while. What do you do?
Amputate the foot before the infection spreads.
Scream for help.
Medicate the infected area to the best of your abilities.
Restrain the patient, and merely observe as the infection spreads.
Take your time.”
The Listener gives their answer and the overseer writes it down.
Overseer: “That’s what most people answer, and it’s understandable why they do so.”
The overseer flips the page to the next question.
“Question 3: You discover a young boy lost in the lower levels of the Vault. He's hungry and frightened, but also appears to be in possession of stolen property. What do you do?
Give the boy a hug and tell him everything will be okay.
Confiscate the property by force, and leave him there as punishment.
Pick the boy's pocket to take the stolen property for yourself, and leave the boy to his fate.
Lead the boy to safety, then turn him over to the overseer.
Remember this is a no judgment zone, answer honestly.”
The Listener gives their answer and the overseer writes it down.
Overseer: “I see, not what most people would go for but I would have done the same too.”
Overseer flips the page to the next question.
“Question 4: Congratulations! You made one of the Vault baseball teams! Which position do you prefer?
Pitcher Catcher Designated Hitter None, you wish the vault had a soccer team
Even if you're not into sports, do give your most honest answer.”
The Listener gives their answer, and the overseer writes it down.
Overseer: “I was never a big fan of baseball, golf is more my speed.”
Overseer flips the page to the next question.
“Halfway there, Question 5: Your grandmother invites you to tea, but you're surprised when she gives you a pistol and orders you to kill another Vault resident. What do you do?
Obey your elder and kill the Vault resident with the pistol.
Offer your most prized possession for the resident's life.
Ask granny for a minigun instead. After all, you don't want to miss.
Throw your tea in granny's face.
Think about it.”
Listener gives their answer, and the overseer hesitates to write down the answer.
Overseer: “Are you sure? Not what I would have gone with but as I said, no wrong answers.”
Overseer writes it down and turns to the next page.
“Question 6: Old Mr. Abernathy has locked himself in his quarters again, and you've been ordered to get him out. How do you proceed?
Use a bobby pin to pick the lock on the door.
Trade a Vault hoodlum for his cherry bomb and blow open the lock.
Go to the armory, retrieve a laser pistol, and blow the lock off.
Walk away, and let the old coot rot.”
The Listener gives their answer, and the overseer writes it down.
Overseer: “Not what I would have chosen on the test, but most likely what I would do in reality.”
Overseer flips the page to the next question.
“Question 7: Oh, no! You've been exposed to radiation, and a mutated hand has grown out of your stomach! What's the best course of treatment?
A bullet to the brain.
Large doses of anti-mutagen agent.
Prayer. Maybe God will spare you in exchange for a life of pious devotion.
Removal of the mutated tissue with a precision laser. “
The Listener gives their answer and the overseer writes it down.
Overseer: “Practical, not much else you can really do in that situation.”
Flips to the next page.
“Question 8: A fellow Vault resident is in possession of a Grognak the Barbarian comic book, issue number 1. You want it. What's the best way to obtain it?
Trade the comic book for one of your own valuable possessions.
Steal the comic book at gunpoint.
Sneak into the resident's quarters, and steal the comic book from his desk.
Slip some knock out drops into the resident's Nuka-Cola, and take the comic book when he's unconscious.
The guys at vault-tech who came up with these answers must have been really….. inventive.”
The Listener gives their answer and the Overseer writes it down.
“I’m more of a silver shroud fan myself, but I understand the appeal of Grognak.”
Flips to the next page of the test.
“ Question 9: You decide it would be fun to play a prank on your father. You enter his private restroom when no one is looking, and....
Loosen some bolts on some pipes. When the sink is turned on, the room will flood.
Put a firecracker in the toilet. That's sure to cause some chaos.
Break into the locked medicine cabinet and replace his high blood pressure medication with sugar pills.
Manipulate the power wattage on his razor, so he'll get an electric shock next time he shaves.”
The Listener gives their answer and the Overseer writes it down.
“ I would like to remind you that Vault-Tech is not incentivising you to do anything listed on the test outside a hypothetical situation.”
The Overseer flips to the last page.
“Last Question: Who is indisputably the most important person in the Vault: They who shelters us from the harshness of the atomic wasteland, and to whom we owe everything we have, including our lives?
The Overseer The Overseer The Overseer Two bears high-fiving
Wait…. I accidently printed the last page over the vault's standardized psychological evaluation.”
Crumples up and throws away the last page.
“It’s not like the last question is important, it was edited in by one of my predecessors who had a pretty big head. Now let me review the result.”
The overseer sits quietly for a few seconds, before sighing and looking at the Listener again.
[Speaking as if revealing the true intentions of the test, becoming much more serious]
“Look, I’m going to be straight with you… I wasn’t completely honest about the reason I called you in today. In reality it was for a matter much more serious than reassigning you to a new position in the vault. We've got a problem, a big one. The controller chip for our water purification system died. We can’t make another one, and the process is too complicated for a work around system. Simply put, we're running out of drinking water. No water, no vault. This is crucial to our survival. And frankly, I think you're the only hope we have.”
The Listener, stunned, asks why they have been chosen to fix this problem.
“Simply put, it’s because you have what it takes to be up on the surface. Your test scores match exactly with the decommissioned job of vault explorer, the only position that was suited to traveling the world above.”
The Listener asks about the vault explorer job, and why they never heard of it.
“140 years ago, we ran into the exact same problem. Our water chip was malfunctioning and we would quickly run out of water if it wasn’t replaced. The overseer at that time created a new job, that of the ‘vault explorer’ who was supposed to be the person most suited to surviving the wasteland. After a new water chip was acquired the job was decommissioned, but could be brought back under the condition that the situation happens again. The person picked for the job wasn’t chosen because they were the strongest, most perceptive, enduring, charismatic, intelligent, agile, or even lucky. They were chosen because their loyalty to the vault and its people was unwavering, and they were ready to take the steps necessary to make sure we survived and prospered. That mentality is what allowed them to push past the hardships of the wastes and retrieve the chip that was integral for our survival.”
The Listener is hesitant to accept the responsibility, and it’s clearly visible in their face.
[Trying your hardest to convince them]
“Look, I know the idea of going above ground is scary. I would do it myself, but in case you fail I need to be ready to take more drastic actions to save the vault. If you do this for the vault, for me… I will relinquish my responsibility as overseer to you with all the benefits that come with it. Deal?”
The Listener reluctantly agrees to the job.
“Congratulations then, you're the vault's new explorer. I’ll have Officer Jacob give you full access to the armory on your way out, make sure you have all the supplies you need. The old vault-tech headquarters is somewhere south of here, if you find it you my find some information on the water chip and where to acquire one.”
The Listener gets up, ready to walk out the door before the overseer stops them.
[Slightly reluctant and concerned]
“Be careful up there, You never know what you're going to run into so be prepared to fight in case trouble comes looking for you. The post-war world might look different, but war… war never changes.”
The Listener nods as they leave and head towards the armory to prepare for their journey.
The End
submitted by Skrullor to ASMRScriptHaven [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 21:34 In_Yellow_Clad Huh -- (A One Shot)

Badrapra - a name that would go down in history - is a planet smack dab on the edge of human space, a planet that sat at the junction of several supply lanes and commerce hubs, and was for all intents and purposes, a fortress world as a result. Considering it was the only way through a region of space that was known for lost ships that ventured out into the twin nebulas, from which nothing but space wildlife ever returned, it was as you might think, a damn important planet to hold onto. A planet from which a counter attack could be launched in any direction, a chokepoint that couldn’t be breached without exorbitant cost to resources and manpower. A planet from which a foe could strike at the heart of humanity should they take it.
Which was why Humanity and the Ta’Ex were currently brawling over it. The reasons for the current interstellar conflict aren’t important, what is important is this planet, over and on which the two belligerents have fought each other to a standstill. Upon this planet is a fortress, a fortress garrisoned by some of the most seasoned men and women of the Terran military, and trenches span the entire planet, surrounding cities and industry as protection against invasion.
In orbit it is much the same, sort of. Instead of trenches there are reefs of defense satellites and weapons emplacements, shoals of warships patrol the space around the planet and the lanes that all are forced to use. It was built to be impenetrable, imposing in a way that any foe would cower at the mere mention of it. And yet…
And yet the Ta’Ex had launched a bold assault upon the planet, bringing four of their largest fleets to bear down upon the defenses. It was a brutal fight, losses were heavy on both sides, but neither was willing to back down. It was the same on the ground, the Ta’Ex had made planetfall with relative ease, only to find themselves staring at trench lines that were miles thick and brimming with all manner of terrible weaponry. Since humanity was unwilling to give up their defensive positions and simply let the enemy break themselves against said defenses, things quickly devolved into a game of waiting and patience.
The Ta’Ex had boldly walked right into the fire, thinking they could easily beat such defenses, they were quite wrong about that. In less than four hours they’d lost several thousand troops to coordinated artillery, air and ground fire, while humanity lost not even a percentage of that. So the Ta’Ex decided to emulate humanity instead, building their own counter trenches and emplacements.
And now the course of any engagement was predicated on who was winning in space. Regular supply drops and the rotating of troops off the frontlines became exceedingly difficult at times thanks to the back and forth nature of the spaceborne conflict. So, as is want to happen in such cases, the soldiers grew bored, and in some cases, desperate.
For example, on the day the battle would end. Nobody knew it at the time, but one small event would change the course of the battle in favor of humanity, as the Ta’Ex would get a taste of what humanity was truly like, and it would be a thing that shook them to their core.
A fine morning indeed, or so it appeared. The silence over the trenches was an illusion that could be shattered at any moment by artillery or gunfire, yet none came. And so the Ta’Ex commander watched the birds in the sky instead, sipping on a hot drink that was his species' equivalent of human coffee. It served to give him that extra little jolt that would keep him awake, something he needed these days since the most that ever happened were one side hurling insults at the other and the occasional potshot just to remind the enemy that they still existed.
I, Lord Commander Issal, turned my attention to the device they were building, it was a two fold thing. The first part of it would project a moveable shield which could theoretically withstand an orbital strike and would allow their troops to advance on the enemy trenches without fear of death. The other part, was a directed energy weapon, one capable of leveling entire city blocks if they so wished, or even striking at an orbiting capital ship with reasonably grand results.It would be a good weapon to use when they began to advance, as it could soften targets with ease in a way that artillery wasn’t quite capable of.
At the moment only the cannon was built, and even that wasn’t fully ready for deployment, there were several simulations still needing to be run, but I was confident that soon we could begin a proper assault, once the shield platform was complete. That said, I had a feeling of unease settle over me as a heavy fog rolled in and partially obscured the sky.
A few orders later and I was certain that any potential attack could be thwarted during such a phenomenon. What I wasn’t expecting was to see a shape walk out of the mist that was distinctly not a Ta’Ex. See, we Ta’Ex are a very tall species, they sport six limbs, four arms and two legs. The second pair of arms are smaller and widely considered to be vestigial at this point in their evolution. Their bodies covered in a light coating of fur, vaguely avian heads and a long stinger tipped tail. Like some sort of really fucked up hybrid of a bird, scorpion and a dog as the humans would say. That generally didn’t offend the Ta’Ex, they understood that some species were really only able to compare them to somewhat similar creatures on their homeworlds, that was alright.
What walked out of the mist was not Ta’Ex, but human. Smaller than the Ta’Ex by at least four human feet, lacking the extra limbs and fur, plus no tail which was just wrong on so many levels. I expected a human in power armor, which we had discovered to be exceedingly devastating against us, with no real counter beyond sticking a det-pack somewhere where they couldn’t reach and blowing them up. Instead, this human walked casually through our trench in what they call ‘shorts’ and a ‘t-shirt’, their hair messy and the beginnings of something called a ‘beard’ showing along their jaw. Even their boots were untied, loose and flopping around their hideous feet as they walked.
So stunned we all were that nobody moved as the human walked wearily up to the cannon controls - which I know really shouldn’t be out in the open like they were, but the design of the cannon resulted in the controls being outside rather than protected internally- and just stared at them for what felt like ours. I was about to bellow a war cry and charge the human when they finally moved. It felt as though my perception of time slowed as I watched their five fingered hand curl only four digits, what they called an index finger rigid and extended as it rose into the air, and then began a descent towards the control panel. Nobody moved, nobody even dared to breathe, as that finger pushed a button.
Nothing happened, and the human seemed to be confused by this, as they pushed the button several more times before they tried simply holding it down. When even that didn’t work they let out a little huff of annoyance and started pushing other buttons, till one actually did something. He paused when the capacitors began drawing power audibly, quickly too, and finally the first button he’d been pressing lit up as the charging sequence finished.
With a soft shrug and a frown of sorts they pushed the button one more time, before the sky was split in two and darkened considerably as a violet beam of energy lanced forth from the cannon. It lasted for thirty seconds before suddenly shutting down, the cannon barrel smoking and the human looked surprised before they shrugged and uttered a sentence that would haunt me forever.
“Huh… So that’s what that does. Neat.” And they turned around and walked casually back through the trenches. When they reached the perimeter they climbed up and out, sauntering lazily across the open fields between our lines. A flurry of panicked comms chatter reached me finally, and as I listened with a mounting sense of horror and even embarrassment, I learned that this random human who had fired our weapon quite by chance, had also heaped more misfortune upon us.
Our flagship was in flames.
Against all odds, the stars had seemingly aligned for this one human to make an unguided and unintentional attack against the pride of our fleet, using our very own weapon against us, all because he’d let his own curiosity get the better of his judgement, and because I, in my shock, had simply allowed it to happen.
I sat down heavily, and wondered what to do. Two hours later, word had spread far and wide, and we no longer wished to fight these apes, for what new misfortunes could they heap upon us in their pursuit for the cure to boredom? An hour after that, the war was over.
– – – – – –
When Corporal Flynn made it back to his particular stretch of shitty trench, he found the company CO standing there waiting for him, and he did not look impressed.
“Just what the hell were you thinking Corporal!?” Captain Mcgowan practically spat, and the corporal stared blankly at him for approximately two seconds before responding, realization crossing his face before he grinned broadly.
“I was bored, sir.”
submitted by In_Yellow_Clad to HFY [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 21:24 AutoNewspaperAdmin [Sports] - New Stadium for Blackhawks, Bulls & White Sox? TV broadcasts have new option Chicago Sun-Times

[Sports] - New Stadium for Blackhawks, Bulls & White Sox? TV broadcasts have new option Chicago Sun-Times submitted by AutoNewspaperAdmin to AutoNewspaper [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 21:12 Every-Wish-1987 Likely Names for the New Chicago Bears Stadium

submitted by Every-Wish-1987 to AskChicago [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 21:10 Every-Wish-1987 Likely Names for the New Chicago Bears Stadium

submitted by Every-Wish-1987 to StadiumDesigns [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 21:10 Every-Wish-1987 Likely Names for the New Chicago Bears Stadium

submitted by Every-Wish-1987 to ChicagoBearsNFL [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 20:56 EDSgenealogy What is a flare in EDS?

My symptons are always the same. Is losing my hearing in my left ear a flare? No pain. It just stopped working. Is having surgery on my right thumb a flare? It has just become too painful to use.
I understand a flare with POTS or COPD. But I'm 70 years old. My periods were always brutal. Too much blood and horrible cramping long before ibuprofen was around. We had to get a prescription for Motrin when it was first released. But nobody compares blood loss and cramping pain. I just knew that it was almost too much to bear.
I know that I have stretch marks and a lot of belly flab from pegnancy. Stretch marks from the high breast area and all the way down to mid thigh range. I always dreamed about a tummy tuck. I'm usually a size 4 and having an 11.2 oz baby was not kind to my body. Had to have a C-section for him and that was back when the incision was from belly button to pubic bone. I didn't have any milk for either of them, btw. And nobody knew aout EDS back then. Or POTS. I just had to deal with it. I was always given pills for depression because I was clearly depressed.
I did break or badly sprain my ankles fairly frequently, but that was because my feet could fold over and under my legs. I could walk on my ankles with my legs straight. Ruled out ever dancing on point.
My granddaughter also has EDS. And my half sister and her daughters. My sister didn't know what she had, either.
I'm happy to finally know why my body has failed me so many times, and am grateful that we didn't have any sports for girls back then. Can't imagine how much damage that would have caused...
You all take care of yourselves and stop doing games with your thumbs. I only have two bone spurs keeping my thumb locked to my right hand. Sorry for any typing or spelling errors. Can't type well without my thumb. Cheers!
submitted by EDSgenealogy to ehlersdanlos [link] [comments]

2023.06.01 20:54 rlnjkm Is LISK a Bisexual Sadist Sexual Serial Killer?

Is LISK a bisexual sadist serial killer; grooming, attacking and murdering both men and women and why do few people really want to consider this?
A reasonable case for this can be made with just allowing one’s perspective to see all of the overarching evidence and challenge law enforcement’s one dimensional, myopic and hastily put together narrative.
As stated many times before, SCPD believes “Asian Male” to be an outlier, a surprise to LISK, who being all heterosexual, beat this person to death in a fit of rage. On the surface, this is a plausible assessment; that is, if there weren't any other males found in proximity (location and time), to female victims, or found in some sort of female clothing. How does that align when SCPD also has a keen eye on Andre Jamal “Sugar Bear'' Issac, going so far as to incorporate a link to the Gilgo News website, and “owning” the case, despite their torso being found in Arverne, in a female bodysuit and skirt?
The link, or links?
As my research progressed, using my map, it became rather obvious to me that there was something more going on than the narrative suggests. The list of male victims I’ve compiled are not conclusive and there could very well be any number of reasons and tons of other POI’s, but if “Asian Male” and Sugar Bear and the Manorville Males are in LISK’s orbit, then so too are the men I will introduce below.
SCPD, subsequently and consistently has denied any link between the three murdered males found in Manorville, 2000, 2003 and 2012, despite being in relative proximity to Jessica Taylor and Valerie Mack (who were also found along Ocean Parkway in the Gilgo Beach area).
But, is this accurate?
Not by a long shot… is why…
What if LISK selected both women and men, to moderately groom and ultimately murder?
Before I get to that, I wanted to thoroughly look at Sexual Serial Killers in general. Many SK’s are compulsion killers- driven towards certain criteria and/or opportunities, but predominantly, sexually driven:
There are precedents of bisexual serial killers:
Serial killers have many overlapping traits, which seem like MO’s to the average person, but this is actually not the case. Each known serial killer is wholly unique and while there are some similarities, it is foolish to try to relegate any one of them into a box of characteristics and call it expertise, or “definitive”.
LISK clearly has a female “preference”. Petite, 5’-5’5”, 100 -110 lbs., hazel/green eyes. The “attributed” LISK Victims all share these characteristics. (Side note: less than 5% of the world’s population has hazel eyes, in the US, it’s closer to 18%). The narrative here is that it was easier to “control” smaller, lighter women, but not necessarily the case. Eye color preference is a derivative of paraphilia and may represent for LISK, a catalyst, rooted in his childhood or early developmental experiences or fantasies.
With the males we see a different trend, notably because males tend to be larger overall. But the methods of their deaths have some consistency.
For now, I will focus on just the time frame of 1990-2016. I will add background where relevant. To be fair, some of the criteria I used is lacking depth and is tenuous, however, for example, at that time, it was well known that a male wearing one earring is representing themselves as gay in many circles, whereas nowadays, it is not.
Also notable:
Here is a more detailed list that incorporates both attributed and possible victims:
Connectivity Avenues:
It appears that victims who worked the streets were dismembered, compared to escorts who advertised online, (assuming the same for FIJD, Peaches).
Sources and Links:
submitted by rlnjkm to LISKiller [link] [comments]