Car hauler jobs

I have shared on here previously that my DB lasted over a decade and a half. Yes that does sound crazy doesn't? Feel free to call me stupid for staying. Anyway we have been in recovery now since July 2021 and things continue to improve but of course I still have my doubts. I think that the longer your DB continues, the more damage it causes to your psyche and of course the longer it takes to recover. It is funny how the little things can make you spiral. I had a photo pop up on my phone from July 2019 that was taken on an in-state car trip to visit a historic site and our favorite restaurant in a nearby town. Anyway, the photo reminded me of how unpleasant the first part of the trip was. I had made the mistake of bringing up our relationship while driving to our first stop. My wife's response was pretty ugly. I thought the timing would be good to bring it up since she had had time to recover from the prior school year. I was wrong.
Anyway, her reaction was full of the usual anger, deflection, blame shifting, etc.. After I thought about it later I decided that she didn't even want to be there with me. The good news is that trip made me realize that there was an expiration date on the marriage and that it was approaching quickly.
Fast forward to today and she is a completely different person. She started to change near the end of 2020. Why? Was there something else going on during the DB like an emotional affair? After seeing the old photos I just couldn't let it go and ruminated on it for a couple of weeks. It led to a big argument and of course I had no real evidence of anything like an EA. I realized that after all this time I wanted there to be something more than the stressful job and some resentments that she held onto for too long. How can someone be that way for so long and then change so completely?
Those of you who have left a DB or fixed the DB, did those doubts and fears ever go away?
To those of you who are still in a long term DB, I just want to say that the longer it goes on the worse it will screw up your head!

I'm unsure how to move forward. I have about 35,000 in student loans (but I'm not looking to write this off, I understand it's hard). These are the issues: I reside in Virginia. My credit score has gone from 740 to maybe 300 or worse. -I have 30,000 in credit card debt. Most of which is over several and mostly but not all closed accounts. Meaning the original creditor owns it still but most of the accounts have been closed.
-I own a car, I'm not positive but I believe it's worth around 10,000. Paid off no car loan. - I am currently unemployed but looking for a job. This is why I haven't been paying my bills. - I am three months behind on rent.

• Do I file for bankruptcy? If so, I'm guessing I will loose my car anyway because it won't be protected in VA with a 6,000 max vehicle exception. -Do I sell my car and start paying everything back. This will make it harder to find a job but somewhere to start... With this even help my credit score in the long run? -Do I sell my car and file for bankruptcy?
• I do not own much of value, I really don't.
• I don't want to ruin my life over this but I have no one to help and I don't know what to do next. Any advise?

3rd party reservation from Crooking.bomb - guest, or maybe I should say potential guest, comes in and declares his friend is paying for the room. I tell him said friend has to come in to the lobby with their card and ID.
Card declines - "Oooops" giggle "I have the card locked. Be right back. I need my phone." Comes back and declares the card is now good to go. Nope, declines again. She swears she has enough money and shows me her balance (which was $5 over the cost of the room and tax). She cannot understand why the card would decline when she has "so much money" in her account.
They go back out to the car and about 10 minutes later, he comes back in and says his dad transferred money to his card. He has $2 over the cost of the room so he KNOWS it will go through. Nope, declined, twice!
I try to explain to them that some financial institutions will authorize the card for an amount equal to the first nights stay and then charge the full amount. He said that it impossible, no bank would do that - okay, bud - I've been doing this job 11 years, trust me, they do it - we have a sign that says in on the desk. He wants to argue that it is the hotel doing it because his phone says the HOTEL declined the card. I tried to explain to him that of course it says that because we are the ones trying to charge it, but that doesn't mean that we are the ones declining it.
He mutters a few insults about me and walks out. Comes back, while on the the phone and asks my name - normally, I wouldn't give it out, but what the hell. I tell him and he says "Yeah, her name is Any. She's the one I want to report."
As he is walking out the door he tells me that he is reporting the hotel and me to the Better Business Bureau because I am deliberately declining his card.
I have been threatened with lawyers , the newspapers, the tv news, and corporate headquarters, but this is the first time anyone has tossed out the BBB at me. I'm calling FDA Bingo!!!

My car battery was dead, so I charged it so I could move it down the street. It's a simple job to do, but time consuming (as I have to charge it with my other car and then drive the car in question around for an hour for the battery to recharge).
I parked on the street outside of a private residence. 4 days later I received a knock on the door from the lady who owned the house demanding that I move my car as it was in a spot that her husband couldn't park his work truck. I told her that the battery was dead and perhaps her husband could park in an alternative park. This request was refused and again, she demanded me to move my vehicle.
I decided to respond to her by saying the car was registered and on a public road, if she wanted to move it she should contact an authority.

The mods predictably shut comments down, as this topic is polarizing, but as a professional dog trainer, I had this to say. I wanted a to reach a larger audience so I'll share this here.
I commend you and respect your decision more than you know. I've been a balanced trainer for almost two decades, anvjhh it's one of my biggest hopes that we will see the stigma surrounding behavioral euthanasia will lift because I don't have enough fingers and toes to equal the number of times I've weighed and laid out for owners and concluded that BE was the kindest, most responsible, and most of all, the RIGHT choice. Because these dogs, and before anyone gets sand in their ass crack about it (and I would hope my fellow honest professional dog trainers will back me up on this), the majority of which are pit bull type dogs, must meet certain criteria to meet that places them snugly in the category of "Irreparable - Too Dangerous". For anybody with logic, the pit bull and it's close cousins are bred for fighting and bull baiting or hunting. It's just common sense that a type of dog created for that type of activity are going to have alheightened aggression. Terriers in general were all need for one reason, and that is to kill. Every single breed. And they're all quite scrappy anyway. To have a dog that possesses this as a genetic trait takes accepting and rearranging your life and learning to keep people safe from your dog and vice versa.
It's not a decision that I take lightly (although when I come to a conclusion it is made there on the spot - it's very easy to assess what you should do with a dog in terms of training or medication, and of course, BE. And I'm not biased in terms of being heavy handed when I give them my professional opinion, it doesn't matter the breed. I have told owners of 5lb dogs that unless they were willing to put up with it, that was on them, but that my recommendation is that they elect for behavioral euthanasia. I had a couple of veterinarians in area the area whose numbers I'd provide them with who were willing to perform the operation, because a surprising number of vets will not help ease the mental pain suffered by a dog who cannot voice it's anguish. As long as it is physically healthy, it shouldn't be out to sleep, is their logic.
But a life spent constantly tense, in a perpetual state of hypervigilance, finger snap personality changes, anxious, told by your brain something is wrong and the answer is violence, or just being true to it's nature as a dog, which is where a dog is just wired to carry out the cycle of predation; locate , stalk, chase, bite, maul, kill. This genetic trait can be more problematic to ever solve since it is a self rewarding behavior; tack that on a breed already predisposed to genetic aggression and you can have a dog that is far too dangerous for anyone less than a seasoned trainer to ownand those types of unicorn homes with no other dogs, other animals, kids, frail people, or close neighbors and are super vigilant when they're out tnd anal retentive when it comes to keeping the dog contained securely are as rare as their namesake. Part of our job as canine professionals is to not only evaluate and trainer a dog, it is also to make sure you are not putting everyone in the community in danger. Even if your dog "just" kills the neighbors cat, it wasn't "just" a cat to them just as your dog isn't "just" a dog to you. That cat was family to somebody.
Scenario:Now imagine you didn't rationalize that your dog killing something without provocation. Your dog is out of control. You consult with a trained professional (say, me). We talk and establish that your dog checks of the majority of the boxes in the section marking candidates for BE.
You allow the trainer to see the dog in it's home environment, in it's territory (a short 5-6 blocks up and back around and back (hopefully coming across some triggers so I can observe and see if it is manageable, and in an unfamiliar place, where we get in the car and drive somewhere the dog has never been and observe the behavior then, then assess the owners training and management ability. A weak or incompetent trainer simply is not acceptable and not everyone is good with animals. They simply cannot read body language, pick up cues, expert enough authority over the animal, or effectively communicate with the dog in a way it will understand, or come across to me as chronically irresponsible, lazy, wilfully ignorant and refuse to take direction, too constitutionally weak to handle a dog that represents a safety concern, that is all take into consideration when I offer you my final decision. Behavioral euthanasia is the best and kindest option and that I can walk you through it. I help you to understand it is not a failure on your part, or what you could or shouldn't have done. Sometimes a dog just isn't wired right. It could seriously hurt or kill someone including you in the blink of an eye. Just because it hasn't happened yet doesn't mean it won't, and when a clear pattern of dangerous behavior. Every single owner of a dog that seriously injures or kills someone says "But he never did that before."
You decide to disregard this advice, thinking it cruel or evil, or thinking I'm taking the lazy way out, question the trainers integrity and judgment and skill because "So-and-so from YouTube doesn't give up on his clients. All dogs can be fixed, I just need a different trainer, a better trainer
I see you around on FB, your feed is a continuous documentary of your catastrophic attempt to own and safely manage a dog that's a walking time bomb; " Today Zeus almost killed another dog for no reason at the dog park today. I just don't understand we've been working with trainers and he was doing pretty good, he even played with this same dog last week now I'm asking for prayers for all of us"
You almost don't want walk him anymore, but he needs to go out, right?
The walk is lovely until you turn the corner and uh-oh! Zeus literally turns you into a human kite soaring along behind you as it pursues a particularly tasty child with their faithful object of your dogs fixation originally. It tears the into other dog, being at eye height, the child is severely bitten, mauled or even killed. Yes, it happens. At least once in the 60 ish on average canine inflicted deaths in my country, the US.
When I recommend BE, it is for the sake of the dogs mental health because a life of severe neuroses you neither understand nor can explain, or spend you life doped to the gills under lock and key 24/7, or warehoused and forgotten to languish and take up teousrces for years. You should ALWAYS be present during the euthanasia of your pet, even if it breaks your heart. One, because you need to be there to provide emotional support and hold your dog while they administer the sleepy time juice. And if you don't stay with your animal and leave it anxious and confused to be PTS in the already stressful vets officer, you're a dick, full stop.
AND AND AND. You also NEED to be there and see for yourself that your dog really has passed on, check for a pulse when the vet announces TOD to you. There really are vets out there who will go as far as deeply sedating a dog when an owner they gauge naive enough to have their dog pumped full of enough anesthesia to knock out a horse and it suppresses respiration, they tell the owner the dog is gone and sneak it out the back door to take home because again, they're ARAs, which is much different than the superior support of Animal Welfare. If you're not there for the procedure, there is a high chance of some do gooder who just takes the dog and flips it and puts it in some random home, where oftentimes someone is hurt severely.
ATTENTION: Did you know there are only two freaking states in the entire US where it is *required by law for shelters to give the dogs bite history to you?* That's right, 48 states don't have to tell you your new pet was in the shelter for almost ripping the previous owners kis face off. Sickeningly, there is even a "nom-profit charity" called "The Lexus Project" who devotes MILLIONS to slimeball lawyers whose purpose is to represent dogs who have SEVERELY hurt or killed people, one such famous case is with Mickey pit bull in Arizona who almost ripped his owners young kids face off because he was a resource guarder. People blamed the kid for a dogs bad behavior and they came and the mayor of some town nearby adopted the mutt and gave it a lavish life while anti human pit worshippers sniffed his farts for rescuing a "poor innocent pibbles tortured into having to fight for his life from an evil six year old". It's pretty sick and you can Google it; it's pretty bizarre and sick to me. Most of the dogs are, surprise... Pit bulls.
The reason I never advocate rehoming these dogs, not only is it irresponsible as fuck to place a dog whose unpredictable aggression is so bad that a loving owner decided it wasn't safe to have anymore, but again you have to weigh the risk to a community. Sometimes even one attack is enough to take a life.
It's a difficult choice to make. Don't beat yourself up. You are releasing your dog from it's mental prison and taken a lot of anxiety and stress surrounding your dog lifted from not only yourself but the entire community. I'd suggest finding a reputable breeder next time who knows what they're doing mixing genetics and breeding anomal
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So without getting too deep I was pretty smart on track for t30s at least. Depression hit hard and a little drug problem as well as a shakey household hit. Basically lost my sophomore and junior year. Worked crazy hard with all my ecs and and got my gpa up. And when I meant I was working hard I really meant it. I went to school-internship- gym- and studied and studied for SAT and worked on my ecs/businesses until 3 am and I slept in my library parking lot in my car and went directly home an hour before school. I actually worked so hard I forgot I had depression literally. I have recovered now, but it’s starting to haunt me again.
All that work and I just got into my safeties. I’m not bitching because I’m happy about my safeties which I really do want to go to. (Reach schools I’m still waiting on a miracle but I’m a realistic kinda guy).
It has came down to 2 options -ASU -UIC
ASU solid finance program…t25 according to us news I think. I’d have a great social life and Greek life and better weather. more opportunities. But they are asking for 50 fucking k…
UIC- in state hasn’t told me about financial aid yet…t100(finance) not the best but I don’t mind. Guessing 20k tuition still… I’ll make friends where ever I go so I’m not concerned about the social aspect. But I fear less opportunities. +Chicago never gave me good vibes. So the alternative here would be to study medical instead because I am interested and they rank well plus + safety in the medical field.
My parents combined make 119k on the dot before taxes. Even if I got a job and internships… asu is quite frankly a reach. No way in the world today can my parents pay 50k a year with the interest rates now adays.
Told my parents about this. They were hoping I’d go to ASU but I broke the news that it was 50k and my mom absolutely broke down. I see her cry a lot when she’s mad or sad about something. But something was different about these tears… she truly looked like she failed. My parents are immigrants so they don’t know how to help me either… I was on this process all on my own. I legit have to help my dad with taxes and I filed fafsa on my own. I did everything on my own… and I realize now that I’m just an 18 year old who is clueless…
But I’ve always been strong and seeing my mom cry like that made me stronger because even though we have our differences I love her to death.
I simply told her that I’ll figure something out for asu- that’s why I came on here so help me out.
Option 0 is that asu reconsiders Option 1 is that I just go to uic and tuff it out 2. Go to uic and transfer 3. Go to uic and switch to pre med.
The last option I said .. and I have never been more serious in my life… I said that I’m gonna make a business and dropout.
Which of course her being an Indian mom and all broke her heart again.
Today was the first time in 4 months that I relapsed. But I’m still optimistic. Pressure builds diamonds and if I have no opportunities I’ll build my own.
My mom is highly religious and she has been praying and doing rituals for me to get into the other schools, but I have not told her that I got rejected from all and waitlisted. I still have 3 reach schools to get results from.
She gets home and asks me everyday like and chanceme user. “Will u get in”? And I tell her I’ll get rejected because I already did. And she will laugh and tell me that I will get in because I worked too hard. And it just makes my stomach twirl.
Man 2 years of painful depression and still nothing hurts more than my mom in tears.
But please how do I get more financial aid from ASU.

I’ve (38f) been with my partner (42m) almost 5 years and we’ve been married for 3.5 years.
I moved country to marry and be with him, which was extra challenging with the pandemic happening at the same time. Our marriage has been very up and down, with other life situations such as job losses, immediate family members being sick/diagnosed with cancer, friend’s deaths, a car accident, sickness, etc.
When things are good between us, we laugh, have fun, all the good things people do. It is almost like a switch that I see in him where it just turns. I started to recognise when he needs less time with me, and more alone time to recharge. Even though I’ve asked him to verbally tell me too, he still doesn’t vocalise when he needs his alone time. He rudely snaps at me, and proceeds to stonewall me, catching me off guard (and upsetting me). He will then stonewall me for days and even weeks, without explanation or a chance of resolution. I get to a point where I start wondering if I need to find a place to live, whether I need a lawyer, or whether I should move back to my home country. Just as I make a decision we turn a page and things tend to be magically resolved. However one of these occasions did lead us to moving bedrooms and now we have been sleeping separately for 6 months.
I am a sensitive soul and try hard to not be affected by other people’s behaviour, but it is something I find very difficult. I was working with a therapist for over a year (to also help as my mum is sick back home) and I did make some progress with this, but I really feel that my partner is not meeting me halfway in trying with communication in our relationship.
Recently, a month ago, he has lost a former colleague to a short terminal illness and he has become more withdrawn (he was already moderately withdrawn). I have tried giving him space, giving affection, asked questions, not asked questions, told him I love him, told him I’m here for him.. all met with nothing. I was in a serious car accident 3 weeks ago and I’ve been processing my trauma alone.
I feel broken when I think of this relationship and what I’ve allowed myself to put up with. I care about him so deeply and love how we are when things are good, but I don’t know if I can I keep doing this or if I should even bother trying.

So glad I found this group, I’ve been wanting somewhere to share my boyfriend and I’s story, buckle in, it’s a little long
Sometime at the end of January last year, I started playing video games online. Starting with a game called Counter Strike. I had only been playing a short time (probably less than 10 games) when I met a couple of people who invited me to queue with them next game. I agreed, and when we queued up for the next game, they added another player, RJ (not his real name, using for anonymity purposes). RJ asked who the new person was and I said hello. The first words he ever said to me were “Oh great, an e-girl, can’t wait to see how this goes.” We play one game together and I figured that would be the end of that. He had added me to his friends list though.
A few days later, we’re both online, and he invites me to play again, much to my surprise. We play a few games, and actually end up talking a good bit, and add each other on discord. This was February 7th 2022.
We start texting everyday, and gaming every night. This graduates to phone calls, which turn into FaceTimes. Eventually, we exchange numbers and move off the discord app as a means to communicate. We talked, Every. Day. We started getting closer, realized we had a lot in common. Honestly, it was just like we clicked, from the moment we started talking we couldn’t stay away from each other. I had just gotten out of a 4 year relationship and wasn’t looking to get into another. He had be hurt pretty badly by his last girl (won’t go into details) and borderline swore of females. So, there was no reason, after playing a few games, we should’ve become so attached to each other. I think one reason was because I could read him so well, even through text. He was more guarded than I was, but I’ve had my fair share of hurt (more so friends/parents) but I could see through his defense mechanisms, and call him out, and be understanding a patient and loving to him.
But. One issue. I lived in Pennsylvania and he lived in Florida. 900 miles apart.
I am a religious person, as is he. So I started praying on it, basically it consisted of “Lord, I feel like this man is right for me, in my soul he feels right, but I’m going to get hurt with us being so far apart. It’ll never work, please, if this isn’t what it feels like take him from my life because I won’t be able to do it”
That SAME week, my dad (I’m 21, but still live at home currently) stops me in the kitchen and just randomly asks “hey, how would you feel about moving to Florida?” My family has always wanted to move south, but it was always NC, never Florida. (And I hadn’t told them about the boy in Florida who I was falling for yet) Turns out his company had a job opening down there and he was considering taking it. The first thing I do is check how far the town we would move to is from RJ. My shock when it turns out I would be an hour away from him if this move happened.
So we start going through the process and my family decides to make a trip down to Florida to check out some properties. And I ask if we could possibly spend our first night in his city so I could meet with him in person. To my shock, and anyone who knows my parents, they agreed. This is now April. So two months after we started talking, we’re finally going to meet. I’m iffy on if I believe in Angel numbers, but out hotel room that night, after a 14 hours drive, was 222 aka the soulmate number. And at 11am the next day, we go to a nearby mall, and finally meet up in person. We were never awkward, it was comfortable from day one. We actually ended up kissing (more so making out, trying to keep this PG) in a dressing room in one of the stores. Literally had friends asking me what book I’m living in after hearing about it. We spent a blissful 2 hours together and then I had to go. We looked at property’s and then back to PA.
Another two months goes by, this time it’s even harder. I talk one of my girlfriends into a “girls trip” to Florida. But her and everyone knew it was just to see RJ. We go down for four days, I spent as much time with him as I can between his work. We would just sit in a car (he lives where he works, so we couldn’t hang out there) talking, lots and lots of talking and kissing until 3am.
FINALLY. In July of last year, my family made the move to Florida. We have a small farm (horses chickens etc) so it took us 19 hours to move all of them down there. And since we moved, seldom has there been a weekend we didn’t spend together.
And just this last week, RJ and I closed on a house we found together, I won’t be moving in with him for a bit, we have to build a barn and pasture for the horses, but I’m writing this after spending the last 3 days with him getting a few things set up, and cleaning and “playing house” with him. We also got a dog together. We still play games together every night. It just hit me on my way home from there, how crazy it is, a year ago, we were messaging 900 miles apart, after a chance meeting playing a video game (something I never did) falling for each other but thinking we were stupid for even letting ourselves get attached because of the distance to, now we have a house and are planning a wedding and a future. I also think back to his first comment, “can’t wait to see how this goes” and I make myself laugh thinking “well, you buy a house with the e-girl” Our story just makes me giddy, I never would’ve dreamed to have what I have with him, we have grown so much too, I could keep going on a thousand little details that mean something to me, but I don’t want to make this entirely too long. I just wanted people to share this with, if you made it to the end, thank you for reading❤️

I have been abused my entire life. Mostly by “family,” and it seems like because of my past I end up sticking to people who do not care about me whatsoever.
In December of 2021 I met my ex. We started dating pretty quickly, and he moved into my apartment within just 2 weeks of me getting it. He did not have a job, he did not pay any rent the entirety of our relationship.
For 2 months, he cheated on me. Using my car to get to the other girls place. She didn’t know I existed. I’ve talked to her quite a few times recently and she told me all the lies he made up to get her to sleep with him. Once she found out, she physically pushed him out of her apartment and blocked him.
He told me that he “chose me over her” and I never believed it, but I didn’t know any different until she told me what really happened herself.
Just in the past 3 months I have learned so many things about him that I wish I had known from the beginning.
He’s a drug addict, but I didn’t know about the previous heroin and meth use until an ex of his that I called on the phone told me about it all, along with the inappropriate things he was texting her towards the end of our relationship that made her uncomfortable.
He stalks all of his exes, so much to the point one of them is filing a restraining order sometime soon, as am I.
The abuse was mental, verbal, financial, and physical. It was not just to me, but also a girl he abused over the summer who is now a very close friend of mine. The 2 girls he was exchanging nudes with online the most are now good friends of mine as well and we text quite often. His own family members have cut him off, one of them told me this week that in the past he attempted to kill his younger brother twice.
He took everything from me. My happiness, my heart, my money, my safety, everything. 2 of my bestfriends helped me kick him out and being done with him for good has me in a lot better of a place, but I’m having very bad depression spells, frequent panic attacks, etc.
My therapist has told me this is normal for escaping an abusive relationship but as time goes on it will be better. If anyone needs help or someone to talk to, I am here <3

I am 39f married to 45m narcissist. We have been together since April of 2020. We married a few months after we met. Those were the best days. In the beginning, I had never met a man so respectful and such a charismatic gentleman. He would always play talk saying he was just getting in good. I should have believed that. I have a daughter 9, from a previous marriage. It was an abusive relationship that lasted 27 years. How I managed to get out of it was pure work. Years of practicing positive thoughts. I have PTSD, bipolar 1, manic anxiety, and OCD. I see a doctor regularly and I go to any and every chance to learn and grow more to not show any symptoms. Fake it till ya make it. Now my husband has some me tal issues. He definitely is ADHD that's known. But there are others, anxiety being the absolute worst you can imagine, others that are undiagnosed. I was not aware of narcissism at all. 3 years prior to our meeting, he was in a tragic car accident and resulted in traumatic brain injury. Also after that, while taking a walk a car ran him over and left him for dead. His left leg is titanium from knee to ankle. Not only, all his previous relationships were toxic for him actually. Every time the woman left him for another man they cheated with. So along with the childhood trauma that no one wants to admit, he is drinker, previous drug problems from the past, pill problem from the past also, been to jail a couple times. He did got AA to quit drinking and a rehab with a 12 step program. So he still drinks only from time to time, but has been off drugs as pills without wanting to return to that. Now, back to the present day. He has Chronic pain from his leg injury and as of 9 mths ago, hurt his right foot somehow pedaling a bike to rush to see me at the hospital because I had our daughter. That was not planned nor we we're not aware I was pregnant. No baby bump. She is fully developed with absolutely no problems at all. Healthy. So I have a daughter 9 that doesn't live with me but comes for visits, and now another daughter, his only biological daughter that is his exact mini. He loves her and is very protective of her. He doesn't do much as of diapers or feeding with solids, he has done it but cannot stomach the mess of baby food. He does spend time with her and is so doting. He gets depressed and down off and on. He has not worked in a year or so because of the pain and problems worsening physically. Trying for disability. So I take care of him and whatever he needs. He is spoiled yes. But he is built to work that all he knew before so he does help around the house and projects if his liking. He is an angry and bitter man about his past. Holds anyone for anything they done wrong and when they cross his mind he is livid. There was no anger towards me until he lost his last job. He physically was unable to keep on so they let him go. It changed him for the worse. After that happened he went into a very deep depression and started taking his pain and anxiety and anger or anything that bothered him out on me. This was very new to me and very hurtful. I didn't what to think or how to feel because after a short time or a nap he would be normal and loving again. It was odd and confusing. Very hurtful and I started getting worse each time and then more and more. I eventually started fighting him back. Defending myself to his claims. I would get loud and yell because he just wouldn't stop going off. All of it was bs. He never told anyone else about it, just hurt me. Eventually it got so bad that I would physically hurt him then take the baby and leave for a while. One time I slept in my car just to be away from him. No cops ever involved. But he would go through the cycle and apologize and tell me all the good things he used to. He would tell me that the hurtful things were not true, he never felt that way, he would just do that to hurt me. At those times he would admit to the abuse and that he was wrong and hated that he would ever do that. But it would keep happening in cycles. I eventually stopped fighting and just would walk off away and cry. He always said something I did or said would just trigger his anger. So I naturally thought it was all me messing us up. Even went into a hospital for mental health for a week. It isn't me. His mom who I am so close to, told me in passing one day he was a narcissist. I didn't think about it enough or anything to change my mind that it wasn't stemming from his past. Well as of lately she brought it to my attention several times. So I finally saw something on narcissism on TikTok. Which I saw that, I immediately started researching everything I could find about it. I am an empath and he does go through the same motions as every other one. I mean I have read countless articles where the situation was so similar it could have been myself. Through this research I have also learned that it's very possible that he could never get better and in fact as he ages, it will worsen. Now it's been 3 very hard years for us. It has not been all bad. And I have reacted horribly to his outbursts. Now I have decided to try to stay the course. I love him and he does show me love too. I know how to play the game and am willing to play until he leaves himself on his own decision. He has never shut me out or left me at All even at his maddest times. No matter what I did. So I'm not convinced that he will leave. I do think that he has to rely on me so much that it is easier for him not to go. And when he is normal self I am above and beyond happy to help and do for him. When the darkness comes out, I notice it immediately because his tone always changes. He will start the devaluing and I will either agree with him in a nonchalant way or just completely play it off like I truly don't care. So I don't really take what he says in those moments to heart. Truly what he is saying to me is what he is and is doing to me himself. I know to not react to it at all so I don't or I react in a very positive loving way and manner he stops and changes his words back to sometimes even saying that I was right. So I will just play his game with him. When it's good times, it's better than I imagined heaven. When its bad, the hurt has been replaced with what's the sweetest and most positive way to end it quickly. We don't get physical or no raised voices. He says his hurtful things and I might even agree and apologize or walk away and start a complete different subject and that throws him off. Remember he's ADHD, I find a pleasant way to distract him from the madness. It's become just an inconvenience for me and I have struggled to keep my composure, but it's a work in progress. As it took about 10 years to be an automatic positive thinker and person in general, this will take time and practice too. But I think it will be second nature in no time. I have faith! #strong #boss

Ive been outta work for a while, and got made fun of by a girl as she said no girl wants a jobless guy. And that girls have their own jobs now so why should they talk to me?
Which is kind of odd ( as myself having an MS finance, for whatever weight that may carry), because the accounting and math of employment in the US...is far from reflective of efforts, merit, and most of all; is FAR more likely than not, to compensate with wages that are far, far, far below the idea of 'success', or even offer financial independence, let alone appreciable personal savings and goals. Even without that thought, I wouldn't see myself as anything to brag about if I didn't give someone a chance based on their legal employment basis or earnings. And if I did, Id only be fooling myself, because I'd be caught in so many fallacies.
Real world Example: At $12/hour, working full time, as a single person with no dependents, opting for pre-tax deductions of insurances, and then using the adjusted value accordingly to continue on with Federal/State/Local (in my case I dont even have local taxes).
One would net $687/Bi-weekly. That is $1,374/Month. You'd have a hard time finding a place to rent alone, for less than $1000. And that doesnt include utilities.
Okay, so you've managed to somehow pay the deposit , the activation costs of utilities, and I wont even include the costs of moving/furnishing/homecookware etc. You've popped the $1,000, and now have that $374 to spend on showing the world that you ARE succesful and independent! You work full time and work hard! Aha, wait. Even low-balling national median prices for a fraction of your other costs, will exceed this $374 quickly. Cell? $50. Domestic Supplies?( Laundry detergent, hygience/cleaning items) $50. Internet? $50/month...(these are comically low-ball prices btw) Electricity?$80 Food? Ah, well you only have $144 left...From a survival perspective, possible, but you wont feel very good or feel much like yourself. But, what about your car? its insurance? Easily $150-$400/Month. You're already tapped out, exhausted, surviving off rice and beans. But what about your water bill? What about $ to have even a dollar put into a savings account? What about student loans, credit cards, those teeth, your medical co-pays, your Rx costs? Hell, you don't even have $10 if you get a flat tire. You don't even have a few hundred for that rotten tooth in your mouth, to get a root canal and crown.
//////////////
Ok, $12/hour Fulltime scenario is nothing short of a total delusion of financial independence. But, that just means I'm not good enough or smart enough to earn enough! *POOF* WOW! suddenly I am! I make $20/hour. Relative to the rest of the country's wages, this is a rarer wage, and higher than most people's wages in the US.
$20/Hour @ 40-Houweek
$3,200/MONTHLY GROSS WAGES
$38,400/ANNUAL GROSS WAGES
--------------------
Pre-Tax deductions of Health($90/BiWeekly)/Dental($7.5/BiWeekly)/Vision($2.5/BiWeekly)
MONTHLY TOTAL INSURANCES DEDUCTIONS: $200
ANNUAL TOTAL INSURANCES DEDUCTIONS: $2,400
--------------------
MONTHLY TAXABLE WAGES: $3,000
ANNUAL TAXABLE WAGES: $36,000
--------
STATE TAXES: $1,190
FICA: $2,754
FEDERAL: $4,114.38
TOTAL TAXES DUE: $8,058.38
--------
TOTAL WAGES NET ANNUAL: $27,941.62
TOTAL WAGES NET MONTHLY: $2,328.47
TOTAL WAGES NET BI-WEEKLY: $1,164.23
​
A whopping $2,328.47 for the young stud who earns MORE THAN OVER 2/3 of the nation in wages. Ladies and gentleman give this special little boy a balloon!!
While median rent is reported to be $1,770/Month...Lets have some faith in this earner. But REMEMBER! He is earning a higher wage, its rare for areas with very low rents to commonly feature such jobs. So, lets see to it he still gets a 'good deal' at renting a musty apartment for $1,300/Month. Well, like before, bills come-a-knocking. Utilities of electricity, internet, water rack up to a modest $200. Hes got some basic prepaid service plan for $50, nothing fancy, hes a savy guy. Hes gonna need more than rice and beans to keep up that life of high pay, but still manages to get groceries down to $100/Week. $400/Month. Now, mind you that includes sales tax, so its less than what may come to mind! This guy is not getting a room that cheap in an area where he wouldn't also need a car, lets use some reason here. But hes savy as they come baby. He blew his savings for that $8,000 2003 Corolla. Insurance is pecking at him for $120/month, could be worse. Now, we've reached a point where he now has less than $300 across the month to fulfill: Medical Co-Pays, Auto Maintenance, Gasoline, Any form of eating out/entertainment, All clothing, Furniture, A phone, A computer, Student loans, credit cards, emergency health services, haircuts, and everything else that life demands of us even without a kid.
It would be nothing short of remarkable for this individual who is financially independent to save $10/month. Working 40 hours/week is exhausting too, doesnt leave much time for taking care of things yourself, which can be costly too.
​
So, $20/hour, at relatively low costs of living, isn't anything sustainable long term. Sure are alot of people on Reddit who claim "I make this and Im independent and Im fine!" Im sure their story of pulling up their bootstraps by themselves and maintaining any dignity of life are more so part of a narrative they hold; rather than real-world finance.
Call it all bullshit if you want. I go by the numbers. Job or no job, you're not in a fairy tale. You're in a loose labor market, where fiduciary duty to shareholders/company agents are law. Not owed to you, but to the investors/company agents. I haven't even touched on the fucked up realm of costs and income when having a kid is involved, a health condition, care taking, or any other situation which can wreck everything. SaaS has been offsetting jobs for a decade, AI is too, and there is not homogeneous opportunity across the US.
Its incredible to me, how unaware so many people are. They can't be bothered to comprehend that the majority of problems for people in the U.S. stem from inequity and lack of money. The mental health implications of having to accommodate the need for money to survive and stay out of prison, and the mental health implications from people who internalize these things as if it was their fault. As if they were born as the problem. As if their emotions and life were wrong and despicable. So much of posts here can be attributed to a lack of resources and the implications of it. Resources are sent to the dumpster en masse, not because they are truly unusable, but solely so that we cannot have it, without handing over enough money. Buried in the earth, just to make damn sure, those people dont get em.
So, before you even *suggest* that someone isn't trying, isn't worthy, doesn't care, because of not having a job, not having their own place, not having their own car, not getting the healthcare they need, not being able to afford participation in things, or even afford being a parent... Remember. You're more than likely, calculably wrong. And promoting the internalization of capitalism and the moral construct of poverty. You would fit right in, with the category of scum in society, what keeps it so horrible, and what holds humanity back.

I (16F) got mad at my brother (13M) Tuesday for messing with my lights from an app we both have. I went to his room to confront him about it and we got into an argument which ended with him on the floor and me removing my lights from his phone. My dad came barging in the room and came straight at me backhanding me in the back of the head. I, obviously was upset and ran to hide in my room while he was mad because this was not the first time. My dad always takes my brother’s side no matter what happens. For context of why I hate my brother what happened was my dad took my brothers side, obviously. He yelled about how ungrateful I was and how he was not going to pay for my car and just sell it. Now I was supposed to get my license Tuesday but it got moved to Friday due to plans. My dad screamed how I was ungrateful and he was selling the car and not paying for my school because it was not worth it. I sat in my room talking to two of my friends who took my side when I explained the situation. So now I’m going to be stuck without a car, license, job, or money. I told my two friends that I was going to cut off my entire family and they said things will get better, but it hasn’t for the passed 4 years, and most likely will not get any better. I’m thinking of cutting them off after college and moving on with my life weither I have to live in a car or on the road. I really need opinions on what I should do. My dad also has a history of hitting me and then pretending nothing happened and moving on with life. He always takes my brothers side even if there is proof I did nothing wrong.

I'm unsure how to move forward. I have about 35,000 in student loans (but I'm not looking to write this off, I understand it's hard). These are the issues: I reside in Virginia. My credit score has gone from 740 to maybe 300 or worse. -I have 30,000 in credit card debt. Most of which is over several and mostly but not all closed accounts. Meaning the original creditor owns it still but most of the accounts have been closed. -I own a car, I'm not positive but I believe it's worth around 10,000. Paid off no car loan. - I am currently unemployed but looking for a job. This is why I haven't been paying my bills. - I am three months behind on rent.

• Do I file for bankruptcy? If so, I'm guessing I will loose my car anyway because it won't be protected in VA with a 6,000 max vehicle exception. -Do I sell my car and start paying everything back. This will make it harder to find a job but somewhere to start... With this even help my credit score in the long run? -Do I sell my car and file for bankruptcy?
• I do not own much of value, I really don't.
• I don't want to ruin my life over this but I have no one to help and I don't know what to do next. Any advise?

I'm unsure how to move forward. I have about 35,000 in student loans (but I'm not looking to write this off, I understand it's hard). These are the issues: I reside in Virginia. My credit score has gone from 740 to maybe 300 or worse. -I have 30,000 in credit card debt. Most of which is over several and mostly but not all closed accounts. Meaning the original creditor owns it still but most of the accounts have been closed. -I own a car, I'm not positive but I believe it's worth around 10,000. Paid off no car loan. - I am currently unemployed but looking for a job. This is why I haven't been paying my bills. - I am three months behind on rent.

• Do I file for bankruptcy? If so, I'm guessing I will loose my car anyway because it won't be protected in VA with a 6,000 max vehicle exception. -Do I sell my car and start paying everything back. This will make it harder to find a job but somewhere to start... With this even help my credit score in the long run? -Do I sell my car and file for bankruptcy?
• I do not own much of value, I really don't.
• I don't want to ruin my life over this but I have no one to help and I don't know what to do next. Any advise?

This past Saturday I had been working on my soon to be new home, and after a long day of labor I got home and immediately collapsed and went to bed. I live right outside of Wilmington Delaware, in a condo complex with a C- in crime score. Not particularly bad, not too good either. A convenient location right off the highway to get to the majority of east coast cities.
Sunday morning I woke up, took a shower, and then gunned for the door to go back to work on the house. I gave my wife and daughter a kiss goodbye, grabbed my phone, keys and wallet, and leave. As I’m approaching my car in the parking area I notice my door is slightly open… not a great sign. I opened the door and noticed my glove box and center console have been completely ransacked. Paperwork I had just gotten two days prior now laid dormant on the floor of the driver and passenger seat. I had also forgotten my day bag in the back seat.
It happened, my car had been robbed. Typically I’m great about locking my car door, Saturday night though, I suppose I missed a critical step in ensuring the safety of the contents of my car.
This is an important time in my life right now, I’m in the middle of a house purchase, work is going crazy, and my second kid will be here in two months. I brushed it off, told my wife what happened, and drove to the house I’m working on. During my drive I gave the Non-Emergency line a call. The gentlemen who answered was very kind.
He collected important information and asked for my location. I let him know that I was on the road and that it would be a few hours before I returned home. He asked that I gave the non-emergency line a call back when I’m home so they could send an officer out. Ugh. Now, in my life I haven’t had the best experience with police. Nothing directly involving me, but lots of second hand interaction and stories from family, so I was naturally inclined to assume the local police wouldn’t be useful. Admittedly, I wrote the entire situation as a loss, I felt hopeless.
Over the next few hours I took mental inventory of what was missing. Originally I had only thought that change and a Bluetooth speaker were missing, some of which was in my center console and others in the bag that was in my back seat. I began to fully remember what I had lost: An Android cellphone, an Apple iPhone, Bluetooth Speaker, home purchase paperwork, $10 in cash, and a few other things.
At this point I was mostly nervous about the iPhone, as it was a backup iPhone 12 I got some time ago which had all my Apple Wallet cards on it. Once I realized I logged into Find my IPhone and activated lost mode on the iPhone. I figured the best case scenario would be to ensure my data was protected. The evening settles in, I’ve accepted defeat, and head to bed.
This morning I clock on for work, and as I’m sitting in a work meeting I get a pestering notification on my phone. Lost iPhone has been turned on. I immediately open Find My iPhone to see the device had checked in, but then immediately was turned off. I was frustrated… not only did this person steal my property, they rubbed it in by trying to further use the device they stole.
Only for a moment however I was frustrated. I further read the information on my phone screen and a smile went from ear to ear. That minute or two the phone was turned on was long enough for the iPhone to pick up an address.
I was motivated at this point. I didn’t know what would happen, but I figured hey, what the hell, let’s give the non-emergency line a ring again. I called in, gave them a recap. They collected my information and let me know I should hear back soon. At this point I half expected the officer to tell me too much time had passed for anything to be done… but boy was I totally wrong.
Officer Thomas gave me a call and let me know that he was outside of my condo. He asked for a recap of the situation, what was taken, and if I had any additional information. I shared the Find my IPhone information. Officer Thomas had another officer come along to swab for DNA and collect finger prints off of my car - I was stunlocked! He then let me know that he was filing a warrant for the address listed on my Find my iPhone. I’m not sure what I thought would happen, but given what I was always taught, and believed, I thought I would have eaten dust.
After about an hour or two Officer Thomas and the officer taking DNA and finger prints finished up with me. I made more assumptions… I’m sure nothing will come of it, this is probably the last I’ll hear of it. Officer Thomas then proceed to send me several texts over the next few hours, he wants pictures of the Bluetooth Speaker, Pictures of my Bag, Cell Phone Serial Number, and various credible bits of information.
I scour my iPhone photos going years back finding the best pictures I possibly could for the items stolen. I sent some blurry and dark photos that I had taken, and then also some screenshots from Walmart and Amazon listings for the original items.
Again, I made assumption. I assumed he was just doing his typical paper work for his reports. Mind you, hours earlier I had also filed with my insurance regarding the situation, so at the minimum I was happy to have a police report for my claim.
A few hours pass and I get a missed call from Officer Thomas… I was playing video games and had my headphones up pretty loud. He took the time to text me however and let me know that they had recovered a phone, but it was smashed, and asked if I could send over the devices IMEI.
I sent the information, this time assuming that if they did actually goto the persons house there would be no way they were silly enough to leave a stolen phone right there.
A few hours later go by again, I received a call, and a third officer lets me know that he’s outside and that he’d like me to come out. I step outside and he lets me know that he believe he has my property. Officer Thomas was working overtime to get everything settled today so this officer was stepping in to help get everything tied up so he could go home. I was shocked. Jaw on the ground floored.
The iPhone was taken for evidence. I’m guessing the thief immediately smashed the iPhone once they realized it was out in lost mode. I got everything else back besides the few dollars of cash I had in the glove box.
The entire time I made assumptions against the police. Assumed they wouldn’t help, or weren’t able to. I was wrong every step of the way. Not only did New Castle Police impress me, but Officer Thomas was a godsend.
I cannot say how immensely shocked I am even now. I’m not sure what happened with the person who stole my items and broke into my car. I’d assume it’s more then a ticket, but I’ll have to find out next time I speak with Officer Thomas.
I just wanted to share my story. It may be benign to some, but it was a truly eye opening experience for me. These guys showed me they care about their jobs and their community.

I started as an intern at a company as a 19-year-old. The day I meet my co-worker I had the biggest crush on him. I worked with him for about two weeks, we would talk and I got to know about him. At the time, I saw the idea of him as more of a fantasy. I also wanted to be professional because I actually wanted to work there full-time. After a few months, I got hired and began to work there full-time. I always tried to be "cold" with him when others were around but would sometimes let my guard down.
There was an annual banquet this weekend. My boyfriend was too tired to come with me so I went by myself. My coworker was there and he noticed I was alone, He was few beers deep and he started to talk to me about like an hour since I got there. We started to talk about life and stuff. Then we added " I've been with a guy before, just no sex" I was pretty surprised. He needed a ride home since he was drunk and got a ride to the spot from another co-worker. My job was to take him home lol
I was driving on the freeway towards his house when I got a crazy thought of going to WEHO. I asked him if he has ever been, and he said "no". I asked if I could "kidnap him and take him to WEHO". He said "sure". Once we were about like 15 minutes from WEHO. He placed his hand on my leg and slowly moved toward my dick area. I asked him to "stop" in a very nervous way. I honestly couldn't believe he was doing that. I mean I don't want to sound like a victim because I knew what I was doing but I wasn't going to make a move in a million years because before that night he was what I thought was "straight". When I got off the freeway, he got me by the neck and kissed me. I didn't push away and I had obviously been waiting for that since the day I met him. We made out at every red light until we finally made it to WEHO. When we got there, we went to the Abbey. We danced for a while and I had so much fun, what felt like a movie. After dancing for a while, we were just flirting. He told me plenty of things but I definitely remember him telling me "I've been wanting you since you were an intern" & " you are my slut now". We made out for a long time and he was grinding his dick on me through his jeans.
After over 2 hours at WEHO, it was time to really go home. He wanted to go to in-n-out but it was already closed. I took him to Carl Jr's to get some munchies. I was about to get on the freeway at a red light and I placed my hand on his dick. We started to make out. At that point, I knew I had to pull over. Once I parked the car, he pulled his pants down. I imagine his dick to be bigger but it was okay. I just gave him a blow job and he cummed around my mouth. He honestly looked like he really enjoyed it, he was out of breath for a minute. He house was about 40 minutes from WEHO, and as soon as I got on the freeway, he was knocked out. I just listened to SZA's new album SOS on the drive there. When I dropped him off, he kissed me quickly on the lips.
Monday comes around and work with him is very awkward. Thankfully we aren't in the same department but I still see him around. I think he doesn't remember everything and is embarrassed to ask. But I know he was drunk but people always say, "drunk thoughts are sober thoughts". I just don't know what to do now.

23 Male 19 Female
What did I do wrong?
So I’m 23 years old, never really had a real relationship or girlfriend I guess you could say. Maybe what you could call a couple friends with benefits over the years, some of these didn’t even involve sex per se due to shyness on my part up till about 18-19 (besides these girls I’ve also had a couple prostitute encounters I’m not exactly proud of, morally). Of course that’s besides the point, I’m just saying that to point out that I’m not just looking for sex like some typical teenager or virgin stereotype at any age.
Anyways to get to the point I recently moved to a new city, well like a year ago actually but recently got a job a month or two back. I meet this girl, who seems to be into sex no strings attached type stuff, at first I thought it was a joke but then I realized I’m just not looking for that. Eventually I meet her friend who seems to like me and possibly wants something serious. So I think she’s cute and we start talking etc.
So one day she comes up to me and decides to give me her phone number, and with me wanting to look kinda bad ass (I guess you could say I was “playing hard to get” although I feel like it was partly subconscious on my part; some of it may have just been shyness idk really) I kinda just briefly made eye contact for a split second and then stared away from her while not saying a single word and repeating her phone number in my head. As soon as she leaves my presence I write it down. Now by this point in time she had expressed interest in dating and had told me she loved me several times. So I was kinda exited.
Well then flash forward a few days, I hadn’t seen her in awhile due to some septum surgery I needed where I had 4 days off work, it had only been maybe 3 days after she had given me her number that I decided to take the dive and give her a call or text. Went with a text, not wanting to dive head first into something I decide to ask her for a ride as my car was at the mechanic, could’ve gotten rides from anybody else but I wanted to see her in person ofc so I could talk to her. Now keep in my this was the first time I had contact with her since she gave me her number, and normally she’s very happy and bubbly, gives me hugs etc. Like she’s just always smiling and cheerful but as soon as I get in the car with her I immediately notice a change in her. She seems stoic, not wanting to let that get in the way of things I proceed to ask her out. She says she’ll think about it. So then the next day I finalize the plans with her over text and she still says she’s not sure. And then nothing happened and I got stood up basically. This is my first time posting on this subreddit and really anywhere on the internet regarding stuff like this. I normally don’t do things like this but I kinda feel like I’m at crossroads now and I need to improve myself, socially, interpersonally whatever. But most importantly where did I go wrong?

I need a job, to get a job I need a car cuz there’s nowhere near me I can work. I need practice. But legally I need somebody to be with me in the car, since I only have my learners. It has to be somebody who’s had a licence for three years. I’m 18 and living alone. But nobody will help me practice, and I can’t afford an instructor. What do I do?

Stevie came home a few minutes before his young siblings arrived. He checks the kitchen first and marches upstairs to find his mother in his little sister's bedroom, with the hamster’s cage open, and her leaning over it. The hamster was found flat, under a smartphone owned by their mother. She claimed she accidentally left it unattended and it must have fallen while she was moving the nightstand to use her new vacuum.
Both Tina, and Charles, not an hour later, came back holding the small toys they brought to school, and found their older brother, Stevie, breaking the news that mother accidentally dropped her smartphone on the hamster while cleaning.
Both were curious to see the hamster. “You owe me five dollars”, Charles said to Tina, and Tina reluctantly said, “I said five dollars if dead. But if it's alive and hurt, then it's two dollars”. But once the hamster was shown, flatten and stiff, Charles said suddenly to Tina, "I told you she was still gonna do it". Tina, while still staring at the dead hamster in Stevie’s hand, says silently in a giggle, "Well I thought mother really loved our hamster. I thought this was different", then explains sadly, "she was upset when our cat died getting hit by her new car. I mean, she did a good job making sure we don’t see it". Stevie asks his mother what to do with it, and she orders him to just flush it down the toilet while she continues sweeping their sibling's room.
Charles, Tina, and Stevie hang in the bathroom as the mother continues to clean the house upstairs while putting the hamster in the toilet. Flushing it, Stevie watches the spiral of water sink it down. Taking away the creature to a new dark world beneath the rural house and deep within the rest of the silent critters alone.
“We’ll see what she would do to dad once he comes and meets us this weekend”, Tina says quietly to Stevie while both watch it go down. She then glances at Charles, “And I bet two dollars if she does something”. “Don’t talk like that, Tina. I'm pretty sure we’ll be fine”, Stevie says gently, taking the piece of wool out of Charles' hair next to him.
The mother then walks in, glancing strictly at all of her kids, and says harshly, “You guys need to get ready. I invited a few friends to come over, and I need you all to be on your best behavior. We’ll be discussing the charity occasions for the small children for the youth church”. None of them respond to her, instead they all awkwardly nod their head. Charle, and Tina, then make their way out of the bathroom.
Charles explains quietly to Tina while both walk to their bedrooms, " there was that dog that she accidentally dropped the stove on, then there was that pet bird she accidentally fed her wireless earbuds to, and then there was that fish she said she didn't mean to put oil because she confused it with another bottle…". Stevie marches into his bedroom and charges his phone, sets his backpack on his bed, and gets out his homework. He sets his computer on the floor, puts on his shorts and sits gently on the floor, and begins writing as the women, and men, downstairs come inside their home. As he hears his mother granting them inside. He then puts in his earbuds to focus.
Stevie while going to sleep that night, on his bed, suddenly had an anxiety attack like drowning in water. He tries putting on his earbuds to sleep but finds himself in infinite blackness. Lost eternally in the dark. He tries moving but finds himself stiff and small. Spiraling forever in a depth of darkness while laying down. ‘This is really happening! My god this is really happening to me’, he shouts, but no voice came. ‘Why did this change? This is no place for me. Get Me Out!”. Stevie then continues endlessly screaming for help as if a large pressure on his chest slowly was crushing him. And with no warning, he awoke in bed. It was a bright morning, back in his bedroom, in his house, with his father, and mother, waiting outside his door, as usual.

Hello, I really need some advice. Firstly I apologise for the long read, it’s 4:30am and I’m not sure how best to word this so I’m just writing it down as it comes to me.
I (39M) am at a loss of what to do. In the last year things have spiralled way out of control due the cost of living and my own stupidity which has been exacerbated with my mental health deteriorating.
I’m currently around £14-15k in debt roughly £7-8k is what I’m referring to as bad debt, credit cards, a personal loan and some council tax arrears. The rest of it is what’s left on my car loan.
With my car I refinanced last year from a PCP loan to Hire Purchase as there was no way I was going to be able to afford the final balloon payment and this still has just under 4 years at £142 a month.
I have £500 left on my personal loan at £182 a month with the last payment due in June but this will be swallowed by this years council tax and water bill
These debts are factored into my monthly outgoings.
My other debts which are spread out over 4 credit cards, council tax arrears and a water bill are currently not factored into my outgoings but I just don’t have the money to make any reasonable payments on them.
I make around £23k a year and get a little over £1600 a month in net pay.
I’m currently paying out roughly £1280 a month the day after payday which covers my rent, bills minus council tax and water plus £200 to my children’s mother leaving me with less than £400 a month to cover food, petrol and other day to day costs.
Last year I attempted to gain control and spoke with a debt management company who proposed an IVA. I almost signed but something was niggling me about it and I pulled out at the 11th hour. Although I need to be strict the rigidity of the agreement really put me off. Not being able to break the agreement without incurring a huge cost should my circumstances change for example. I then buried my head in the sand for some stupid reason.
Back in February I went through Step Change and got myself onto a breathing space for 60 days whilst I tried to figure it out but to no avail. After doing a budget planner with Step Change they suggested a DMP of £30 a month which is pretty much all I have left but looking back I feel I was too tight on my budget so I’m not sure this is even doable plus there’s no guarantee my creditors will accept that and it will take over 20 years to clear my debt at that rate!
I tried to get a second job doing something like pizza delivery but everywhere wanted weekend cover which I can’t do as I have my children on the weekends.
We’re now almost 4 months into 2023 and I don’t know how I’ve made it this far. I have bailiffs chasing me for the council tax arrears that I have no way of paying, the credit cards have defaulted and I’m at a complete loss of what to do, I can’t sleep, I’m barely eating and I can feel myself spiralling.
If anyone can give me some advice or explains some options I may have e overlooked I’d be really grateful.

Hi! I’m 21M, about to graduate from college with a computer science degree. The downside is that I’m in a very tech-dead part of Alabama, so there are absolutely zero job openings related to my degree (or tech in general).
Right now, I’m working a retail job that is grueling with little reward. I’m not getting paid much, on average $200/week. I’m living with my parents while working and doing school, so I haven’t been worrying about rent. But since I’m only being paid $200/week, there is absolutely no way I can rent myself an apartment (also no rental offers in my area, which is strange).
What I was thinking about doing was getting myself a job related to my degree in another city/state, probably doing software engineering. But truth be told I hated anything to do with computer science, even programming. I’ve been working through this degree for the past 4 years and got horribly depressed because of it, but I stuck with it because of the promise of money. Now, I’m not even sure if I want to pursue a related job after I get my degree. From my past courses, I just remember being… unhappy because I never enjoyed anything the courses offered.
What’s worse is that my family has really been pushing me to get a related job now - for example, I was told to get an IT job while I was in my sophomore year of college. They don’t understand what it takes to get that sort of job, but the most common thing I hear from them is how they want me to spend my paycheck on them. Stuff like a new car, house, etc. - it’s ridiculous.
So bringing it to where I am now, I am unsure of how I can get out of my town. It just seems so impossible because of the lack of offers in my area. I’m just so tired, and I really want some advice so I can figure out what to do.