Inspired by u/Responsible-Smoke183's thread, who needed a Devil Fruit for a Death-themed character. While they ultimately went with another idea, I liked mine so much I wanted to continue work on it. And now it's grown into a full-on character group concept. God help me.
Context - The Four Horsemen
The Four Horsemen are a group of four high-ranking bodyguards/assassins who serve the Five Elders and Imu. Their existence is completely unknown to anyone, and they outrank even the Fleet Admiral and CP0. However, the Four Horsemen are similar to Judge's children in that while they are powerful, skilled and ruthlessly loyal to the concept of "justice", they lack any agency of their own and exist only to serve the Five Elders and Imu. This only serves to make them more dangerous, as they will perform ANY action they deem fit to protect their leaders.
The Four Horsemen have eaten three of the most powerful Devil Fruits that the Five Elders were able to get their hands on. The exception is Conquest the White Horse; they were supposed to eat the Gum Gum Fruit>! a.k.a. the Human Human Fruit: Model Nika!<, but of course Luffy got a hold of it first. So Conquest instead relies exclusively on their Haki.
Blam Blam Fruit (Ban Ban no Mi)
Eaten By: War the Red Horse
Type: Logia
Meaning: The sound of a gunshot.
The Blam Blam Fruit is an artificial Devil Fruit created by Vegapunk, as a Logia fruit that embodies the "element" of warfare. This grants its user the ability to create, become and control any variety of explosives and firearms. Vegapunk used the Arms Arms Fruit as a basis, and as such this fruit is considered it's superior counterpart. The user also has the added ability of being immune to anything that is deemed an explosive or a firearm; only melee weaponry or martial arts is capable of harming them. Like most Logia users they can avoid non-Haki-empowered attacks by turning into their element, in this case by turning into a bomb that explodes on contact.
Techniques:

• Finger Pistol - The user turns their fingertip into the barrel of a handgun and fires a bullet from it. Deliberately named after the Six Powers' Finger Pistol technique.
• Point Blank Arm-tillery - The user punches an opponent in the stomach, before transforming their arm into a cannon and firing at point blank range.
• Raining Bullets - When above an opponent, the user turns their body into a variety of gatling guns which all fire directly downwards, destroying anything in the area.
• Heat-Seeking Shooting Stars - The user creates several rocket launchers on their back and fires countless missiles, which all loop around and seek out the opponent. This can be countered via using high-temperature distractions.
• Warhead - The user lets off explosions at their feet that propel them into the opponent, headbutting them and exploding at the same time.
• Awakening: G-M-S - After Awakening the Blam Blam Fruit, the user focuses on their opponent, "locking on" to them in their mind. The result is similar to the Mark Mark Fruit as it causes all projectiles to home in on anyone that the user locks-on to. This was used to overcome the flaw with Heat-Seeking Shooting Stars. The only weakness is that the G-M-S can only be applied to one person at a time, requiring the user to switch between opponents.
• Final Battle: WarGames - The deadliest technique that the Blam Blam Fruit offers the user, they push their Devil Fruit powers to the limit and transform into an enormous war machine. The result is described in-story as a "living Buster Call" and is capable of levelling entire islands. Normally, War is not allowed to use this technique without express authorisation.

'Sorb 'Sorb Fruit (Zoru Zoru no Mi)
Eaten By: Famine the Black Horse
Type: Paramecia
Meaning: From the English word "absorb".
The 'Sorb 'Sorb Fruit is another artificial Devil Fruit created by Vegapunk, a Paramecia that allows the user to absorb the characteristics of any object and integrate it with their body. Vegapunk used the Munch Munch Fruit as a basis, however rather than eating an object, the user is able to absorb the object's "essence". For example, by absorbing the "essence" of a fire, the user becomes capable of setting any part of their body aflame, while also becoming immune to heat. The result is a "special Paramecia" that can emulate other Devil Fruits, similar to Mochi Mochi Fruit. There is no known limit to how many "essences" the user can absorb at once, but they can only utilise one at a time.
Techniques:

• Flaming Fire - The user absorbs the characteristics of fire, before setting their arms aflame. This allows them to burn anything they touch and enhances their punches, similar to the Flame Flame Fruit.
• Freezing Frost - The user absorbs the characteristics of ice and freezes their arms. This allows them to freeze anything they touch, similar to the Chilly Chilly Fruit. The ice around their arms also acts as armour.
• Slashing Slice - The user absorbs the characteristics of a sword, and becomes able to slash the opponent with their bare body, similar to the Dice Dice Fruit.
• Shocking Spark - The user absorbs the characteristics of electricity, and channels it through their arms. This allows them to electrocute anything they touch, similar to the Rumble Rumble Fruit.
• Raging Rubber - The user absorbs the characteristics of rubber, becoming able to stretch their body similar to the Gum Gum Fruit.
• Awakening: Essence Of The Devil - Upon Awakening their Devil Fruit, the user becomes able to not only absorb the essences of everyday objects, but becomes able to absorbs the essence of other Devil Fruit users, essentially mimicking their powers. The Five Elders intended to use this power to steal the Human Human Fruit: Model Nika's powers, implying that the user could then transfer the essence to another person, but this was not seen in action.

Bong Bong Fruit (Bongu Bongu no Mi)
Eaten By: Death the Pale Horse
Type: Paramecia
Meaning: The "bong" of a church bell.
In contrast to the others, the Bong Bong Fruit is not an artificial Devil Fruit, but is a naturally occurring Devil Fruit that the World Government tried to keep under wraps, similar to the Human Human Fruit: Model Nika. The Bong Bong Fruit allows the user to see and channel the spirit of Death. This allows them a variety of abilities, the most frightening of which is the ability to sever a person's soul from their body, killing them immediately. When combined with Observation Haki, the user is also able to see the exact moment a person will die. The fruit is considered to be the superior counterpart to the Revive Revive Fruit, much like how the Mag Mag Fruit is superior to the Flame Flame Fruit.
Techniques:

• Dead Man's Eye - By combining their Bong Bong Fruit powers with Observation Haki, the user can see a person's moment of death by looking into their eyes. This is used primarily for psychological warfare.
• Death Rattle - The user channels the spirit of Death into their weapon, making it take on a ghostly blue glow. If an opponent is struck by the weapon in this state, the connection between their body and soul is immediately severed and they are killed instantly.
• For Whom The Bell Tolls - The user channels the spirit of Death into their body, taking on a reaper-like appearance. Pale blue flames enshroud their body and skeletal markings appear across their body. In this form, the user is stated to become "the avatar of Death", though what exactly that entails isn't discussed in detail, except it is a requirement to use Final Judgement.
• Final Judgement - After using For Whom The Bell Tolls, the user summons the soul of every person the opponent has witnessed die in their life, and asks whether they deserve to live. Since these souls invariably include those who died by the opponent's hand, they invariably choose death, and they tear the unfortunate opponent apart. Death the Pale Horse claims that those claimed by this technique are sent to Hell, regardless of any good deeds they performed in life. However, if those souls instead judge the opponent as worthy of life, they can turn on the user.

My bf and I live together and we were sleeping. These maintenance men just came in while we were sleeping to inspect the counters and drains. I went into another room and they didn’t see me. They saw my bf who is black and were like what’s up dude. When they left I looked out of the peep hole and this white bald guy said “nword, he trusts me tho.” Like wtf should I report this to the apartment manager?

As day turned to dusk, the reality of the situation Mike had found himself in was starting to dawn on him. It was already established he was in monster central, and in another world, and alone, and had no idea what was going on around him, but after the initial need of not getting spotted and probably mauled was satisfied, a whole new slew of problems were arrayed before him. Where would he eat? Drink? Sleep? If he injured himself, where could he get medical supplies? Where was he going? How could he get back home?
Could he get back home?
A stiff wind blew around him and stole the heat from his body, leaving him cold in an encroaching dark. 'How do I know I can even get back?' besides knowing it existed, Mike knew nothing about magic. He was fairly certain that kobold had sent him back the first time, but by the looks of it they had also summoned him in the first place. Something else pulled him in the second time, so there was a very real chance that he wouldn't be able to do anything. 'and of course, that all comes before the fact I have no idea how to find the little lizard.' Mike ducked into an alley to avoid some kind of flying fish as he considered his situation. Hopeless as it was, finding a needle in a haystack was the only option to present itself, so he reluctantly chose his only option.
Things hit an all time low as Michael sat under a bridge that would serve as his shelter for the night. Sure, there were plenty of haunted houses to choose from, but they all ran the risk of him being found by the monsters that lived in monster city. The bridge was a solid piece of work, being composed mostly of concrete and some kind of wood, and it passed over a wide river that was pretty turbulent for its size. Mike was suprised by the lack of metal, but it seemed to be holding up well enough so he let it go.
Slinging off his backpack, Michael decided to occupy himself by taking stock of his inventory and situation. Laying everything out, he had:
The gym clothes he was wearing, just a tee shirt and shorts. They were sweaty, dirty and didn't cover much
His regular clothes, thick jeans, another tee shirt and an over shirt
His phone, which had no service and 67% battery life. 'yeah, let's turn on airplane mode and the battery saver.' it wouldn't last long, but the calculator, flashlight, stopwatch, notepad and compass tools could all be useful.
Earphones, 'ha! I downloaded all my songs and can listen to them forever if I find a charger! Suck on that Spotify elitists!'
Shoes, nothing special about them
A bag of chocolates that monsters think they're too good for
An almost empty water bottle. 'pro tip, if you're lost in the desert, conserve sweat, not water.' Remembering that bit of survival trivia, he downed the last few gulps.
His pocket knife, score! The salesman had told him this thing could withstand his own weight on the blade, and Mike had really put it through its paces to confirm that claim. It was also a swiss army knife and had several tools in it, even a firestarter! That alone tripled his chances out here.
His wallet, full of useless bills, coins and cards
A gym membership, also useless
Ankle and wrist weights, with detachable pieces of metal to change the weight. 'Should I keep these on or off?' On one hand, he would like to be as physically capable as possible for whatever was coming, and the constant work out would only help with that, but on the other, they would slow him down and tire him out. Not good without a food source. He took them off for now.
And a gym bag, which is always good to have.
The first thing Mike did was change back onto his normal clothes. They would keep him a little warmer and weren't so smelly, which would be good for werewolves that might sniff him out. Walking down to the river, it seemed clear, so he filled his bottle - he could always not drink it later - and began washing the gym clothes.
As he scrubbed his mind moved onto the situation he was in. Another world, monsters, magic and local superpowers are all established. Judging by the state of things, that being the ruins and monsters, this was probably once a thriving nation that had since been overrun and was now populated with the monsters that did so. The biggest concern that came out of that was that this clearly hadn't been a medieval society. True, just about everything was alien to him but he could recognize a TV screen or a car, this place was just as if not more advanced than earth, and they still got wiped out by monsters.
As Mike started wringing out his shorts, his introspection was interrupted when he heard voices overhead. He immediately stopped and turned his head up. It was getting dark by now and whatever was above him had a light, he couldn't understand what the two, no three voices were saying, but he didn't like the tone or the fact that the light source seemed to be getting closer to the side of the bridge. He tensed, and slowly put his sopping clothes into his bag as quietly as he could.
With a loud grunt, whoever has the light jumped over the edge of the bridge, still out of view behind a support but that was as close as he was willing to get. Mike took off as fast as he could in the opposite direction of the ravine the bridge crossed. The ones still on the bridge pulled out another light and called out to the one on the ground, who growled a response back. 'crap, crap, crap!' rang through Mike's head as he put on more speed, the sounds of pursuit not far behind. Between the weights and wet clothes, Michael was worried he might have to ditch his bag again, but it wasn't weighing him down nearly as much as the thought it should. 'just wish adrenaline would come this easy at the gym!' he was making good speed all things considered and was glad to hear his pursuer falling behind.
His hopes of escape were shattered however as one of them proved able to fly, because he heard a screech overhead and saw a silhouette giving away his position! Come on, that's not fair! He had to lose the little cheater and soon, otherwise the others could just run him down at their leisure! Mike turned, slipping on the grassy turf as he aimed to go back in the city. If the universe would just throw him a bone for once, there wouldn't be many other monsters, and he could shake these jerks.
He ducked into an alley, left onto a street before swinging behind some buildings again. Looking up he could still see that cheeky little spy plane was still on him, and from the sounds of the voices, the ones on foot were taking a direct route instead of weaving around, they were closing in. Thanking the universe for actually not putting other monsters in his way, Mike ducked into another alley and saw what he was looking for; a dumpster (he assumed) right under an open window. The only issue was the chain link fence between him and it. 'Really though, who sets up a fence right in an alley like this?' another call from above reminded him of his situation. 'right, deal with it now, ponder neighbors who probably hated each other later.' despite his dismay at the obstacle, he practically leapt over the fence, which was at least 6 feet tall. Adrenaline was one hell of a drug, but there was no way he could do that!
He mentally stored that away as well as he hopped on the dumpster and into the window, waited a couple seconds and hopped back out. He couldn't see the spy anymore which meant they couldn't see him either. He just managed to crawl down a basement window of a building on the other side of the alley before his pursuers burst into the alley as well.
Watching through the window, Michael finally got a good look at the one on foot. That was a big guy, like 8 feet tall and built like a truck kind of big. He was the one with the light in his hand, a glowing ball that floated in his palm, and it cast a rather terrifying shadow over his crocodilian face. He was a crocodile man, no other way about it. Thick tail, heavy green scales that are more yellow on the underside, whatever you're imagining is probably right. The teeth didn't look too sharp but they made up for that in size and number. Besides, if he was anything like earth crocs he had enough bite force to make gums probably work.
Mike was thanking his lucky stars he hadn't been caught when suddenly a second head popped out from behind the first, and he realized the croc had a bucket strapped to his back with something poking out of it. After a bit of chatter, a second creature slithered out of the bucket and onto the ground. It was... Strange to say the least.
The creature stood at four feet tall, and was clearly an aquatic being, being covered in fins from head to toe to tail, along with burgundy scales so small he might've mistaken them for skin. Looking at its head it was decidedly a moray, with a mouth full of sharp teeth and an eels... Tail? Body? Let's say tail, coming out of the back of its head. Or would it be a humanoid body coming out of the moray's neck? 'This thing is weird to look at! Why do you need two bodies!?' Michael mentally screamed at the merfolk. He was just getting a grip on his mental image of it when the merfolk threw a wrench into his poor brains attempt to understand it, by flying. Well ok it wasn't flying flying, but with a little hop and spreading its wing-like fins it was able to glide along while hardly touching the ground. 'well this just keeps getting less and less fair.'
A call from above, undoubtedly from their flier, probably told Mr. Crocodile that Mike was in the building that he double backed out of, because his made some growling sounds of their own before he and the merfolk entered in through the window. Mike released a breath he hadn't even realized he was holding and took a look around the room he was in. It was dark in here, with only a bit of light coming from the twilight of a single window, but he could see place was almost empty, with little more than the occasional rug or bit of furniture that had been strewn about and a bit of debris by the stairs.
Seeing his way out, he ran to the stairs before noticing that there was more debris in the way than he saw in the dark. Turning on the flashlight on his phone, his hopes were dashed as he saw that the upper floor had caved in, blocking his access out. He hadn't seen the flier come down to enter the other building, so they were most likely keeping overwatch in case he tried to give them the slip, which he already kinda had, but he needed to make the same trick to work twice, and that always goes well.
Peeking out the window, Mike caught sight of what he assumed to be the flier making rounds overhead. There were only a few seconds on the far side that line of sight was broken, not enough time to run, but there were other hiding spots. Taking a chance, Mike crawled back out of the window as soon as the flier was out of sight and hopped into the confirmed dumpster. It was around now that he realized he didn't exactly have a plan, and his situation wasn't exactly improved either. 'I'm just making sure that I'm not cornered in case they find me. Yeah that's it!' now he had a plan, and his situation had improved too! Sort of, stop asking questions. A few seconds later he was out and under a shutter, and on the next loop he was out of the alley.
Turns out, it's not that easy. Mike had thought he was safe, after rounding a corner he ran until he was sure he'd lost them, only to hear more footsteps from behind. The flier must have seen him and Mr Croc was in pursuit again, at least Mike had enough of a lead he couldn't see them yet. Testing a theory, Mike found a balcony and jumped for it. Yep! Lower gravity was confirmed as he made it nearly two meters off the ground! He also undershot it and smacked his head on the underside of the balcony, eliciting a (hopefully) dignified shriek, ruining the momentous occasion. Still, he was able to hit the ground running and made for another escape.
It had not taken long for a pattern to establish, Mike would hide and lose pursuit only to be spotted by the flier as soon as he got any distance. His best bet was, somehow, to stay close, under the radar so to speak and lead them away. He wasn't sure how they always knew what direction he was in, considering how well he kept out of sight, until he saw Mr. Croc kneel down and sniff a footprint. Ahh, they were tracking him.
That might actually be a blessing in disguise, because they were moving from an abandoned looking residential area to an industrial complex that was more populated, seeing a bit of foot traffic and lights in windows. He just might be able to lose them in there. Mike had a bit of a laugh at the fact that monsters were living on a jobsite when there were some perfectly fine - ok dilapidated, but so is everything else - houses a few streets over. He snapped his attention back to the situation at hand, he was still being chased after all, and now he planned on escaping by walking through Monster City night life. 'how did I let this become my best option?' there was nothing for it though, he just had to hope he could still keep out of sight.
After a couple close calls where Mike had turned a corner only to see a wall or monsters that somehow hadn't noticed him, he got enough of a lead that he could try hiding. Finding a road with hundreds of footprints up and down it, he backtracked a few meters before diving behind a couple pipes that were sticking out of a building.
Mr. Croc showed up not long after with the eel in tow, and signed the flier to come down. He could finally see that dirty little spy plane! It was a... Moth! 3 feet tall with big black eyes, droopy antennae and some soft looking fluff on its head and body, Mike would have thought it adorable if it hadn't been snitching on him!
Being unfamiliar with monsterese, Mike had no idea what was being said, but the body language made it clear they were arguing. It actually looked like a parent scolding their children, with Mr. Croc being 8 feet tall while the others were in the 3-4 foot range. That didn't stop fire being flung both ways as the small pair clearly gave the kind of back talk that would have gotten the taste slapped out of Michael's mouth if he tried it on his dad. With someone saying something the conversation suddenly came to an end with Mr. Croc spitting on the ground and turning away. He fiddled with a latch on his chest and the bucket on his back came loose, hitting the eel on the head and soaking it, undoubtedly on purpose. With a few snide remarks the three went their ways, leaving Mike gracefully alone.
...In the middle of monster city.
Why did the universe insist on not improving the situation? 'Ok that wasn't fair universe, you're trying very hard, and I appreciate you getting me out of that.'
Karmatic retribution for his insolent thoughts hopefully averted, Mike got moving again.
.
Much to his own chagrin and with a hint of irony, Mike found himself tailing Mr Croc. Looking back it was ridiculous that nobody had noticed him running through the streets but he was found squatting under a bridge. Mr. Croc clearly had a reputation of some kind, because people seemed to avoid him like the plague. When Mike tried to backtrack he found himself relatively surrounded by monsters compared to the empty streets he was chased through, and he ended up finding sanctuary in the invisible bubble of Mr. Croc's presence, causing no end of irritation on Mike's end.
.
After nearly an hour of following, Michael's blood was boiling. Maybe because it was due to the lack of sleep, maybe it was due to being chased for hours for no reason, maybe it was due to being forced to hang around his least favourite semi-aquatic reptile. Or maybe it was because he was witnessing a mugging.
While sneaking along behind his quary, Mike did his best to hang back aways and keep an eye out for an escape route. They were still in the industrial complex, but must have been leaving the populated area, judging by the fact that fewer and fewer monsters were coming out after the crocodile had passed. Michael was just about ready to finally get away from him when he spotted someone walking in their direction, clearly having missed the memo to stay away.
The Croc was on them in a flash and the old bird -that's not an insult, she had feathers and a beak- tried to run but didn't get more than a couple steps away before the Croc had gotten a hold of her. Michael watched from the shadows as the bird lady was shaken, growled at and nearly had her head taken off by the snapping maw of an Egyptian god who had a chip on his shoulder. She was panicked, trying to run and begging, but the actual monster had her arm in a firm grip, and with his other hand he grabbed a pouch of some kind of the lady before shoving her onto the ground and walking away like nothing happened.
Michael was fuming. All that just to snatch a purse!? This thug who had chased him all throughout town, acted like he owned the place, who could probably rip Mike in half, did all that over a freaking handbag! His anger froze cold as the victim slowly picked herself up. Now that she wasn't being actively assaulted he could see she really was an old bird, with patches of feathers, wrinkles, generally frail looking, he was looking at someone's grandmother! And that crocodile... No, he would not get away with this!
.
Michael's anger had been subdued by the realization of what he was doing, now tailing the 8-foot lizard man a lot closer than before and armed with a pocket knife, one that felt a lot smaller in his hand as he realized what he was doing, he wasn't sure how to actually do this. The bastard deserved what was coming, but after cooling off Mike knew rushing in was a bad idea. Luckily this industrial complex, or whatever it was, was packed with rails, pipes, and other things so tightly there was practically a second road overhead. Mike's plan, if you could call it that, was to jump down onto the guy and take him out before he even knew what was happening.
Michael barely made a sound as he went up and over, stopping only when his target looked around. It seemed he could tell something was off, but wasn't ready to act on the feeling just yet, which wasn't the kind of opportunity that Mike was one to waste. He dropped, silent as a shadow.
The crocodile may have been 8 feet tall, built like a brick and was in a lower gravity setting, but the simple fact was that he wasn't ready for someone to suddenly land on his neck. He went down like a sack of potatoes with Mike clinging on, the tumble having left him momentarily disoriented. Still, he quickly righted himself, this needed to end fast, or it would turn into an actual fight where he would have the disadvantage. Wrapped around the monster's head Michael brought the knife to its neck and... Hesitated. Mike had been in fights before, but those were scuffles in the school yard, now he was about to kill. He knew his opponent deserved nothing less, but that seemed to fade in the face of taking a life. It was enough to take the fire out of him.
And so, instead of pushing the blade into his windpipe he only pressed it to the Crocs neck instead. "Alright listen up you big bastard," but the big bastard did not listen up, a fact made clear when a large hand grabbed and threw him off. Mike rolled as he landed and quickly got his feet back under him, knife luckily still in hand. The croc slowly stood up, cracking his neck as he did so before speaking. "Ev'uoy tsuj edam ym yad." It said with a toothy grin. Mike just glared from his crouched position. 'different language, nice to know I wasted my time!' kind of obvious in retrospect, but there's nothing for it now. Mike kept low to the ground, with a two foot difference in height he wouldn't even try to match his opponent in strength or reach, so he opted to keep low.
The Croc tensed for a moment before lunging at Mike, maw open and ready to swallow him whole. Mike lunged himself, keeping low to the ground and barely ducked under the attack and swiped at the exposed neck. He didn't expect to land the hit, but his opponent was taken off guard by his offence and didn't quite pull back fast enough, taking a superficial cut below the chin. Shock flashed in the croc's eyes and he lept back, lashing out with claws to keep Mike at bay. Unfortunately for him, Michael knew that playing fair was for suckers, and that you kick opponents when they're down, so he didn't let up. He was moving forward before the Croc had even landed, stayed below the counter and was in his guard again.
This time he didn't hesitate, and plunged his knife in the croc's side eliciting a shocked gasp from the titan and, keeping his momentum, moved just beside his opponent's shoulder before jumping just a little higher than intended and striking again. Still reeling from the first stab, the croc had only managed to make eye contact as Michael's knife sought his throat again, and this time did not stop. Michael landed on his feet as the croc sunk to his knees, blood leaking freely from his neck as he tried to stop the bleeding with his bare hands but it was already done. The crocodile was dead before he hit the ground, and Michael breathed a sigh of relief.
.
That purse wasn't the only property Mr. Croc had appropriated, as Michael found plenty of interesting things on his person. His things now, as he had no way of returning them. Despite the haul, his mind was elsewhere as he walked.
That guy did not know how to fight, probably used to just intimidating people around him. When an actual fight came he was honestly kinda sluggish, and didn't even think to use magic or the shiv that was in his pocket. Even so, that was a dumb thing to do. What was he thinking, attacking someone like that? What if he had known what he was doing!? Mike could not afford these kinds of mistakes in a survival situation, even if he did get lucky, even if he somehow got out unscathed! You just don't rely on that happening, and Michael resolved to remember that in the future.
Finding a good spot, he set the purse down in the middle of a road and retreated to a hiding place. Soon enough the bird lady passed by even slower than before, the only reason Mike got ahead of her was because she was slowly limping along. Seeing that made his hatred flare up again, but his anger faded away as with a shocked look, the bird lady found the purse, looked inside and sagged with visible relief before looking around suspiciously and continuing with just a bit more pep in her step. 'Well,' Mike thought, 'maybe that wasn't such a dumb move after all.'
____________________________________________________Author's note
Alright part 3 is out! Hope y'all enjoy.
In case anyone had missed it, large portions of Reddit will be going dark in protest of the removal of third party software on June 12th. I had originally planned to join the protest, but then I read the HFY 's official take on the matter (remaining neutral to act as an escape from stressful situations like this) and decided that's worthwhile. As such I will continue posting but otherwise will be off of Reddit in protest.
The first shall be previous and the next shall be in a week or so.

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Release Date: Nike Air Zoom Generation Court Purple
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In release news, will you be going after the Air Jordan 1 High OG Washed Black on June 10th?
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Knock-down reasons?
NO. In fact, a few are variations on weak arguments that will already be familiar from discussions of UFOs. But imo there's a case here that it's rational to withhold judgment for now.

1. Not peer reviewed. The reported claims have not been examined by the scientific community at large. Even if some Pentagon employees really are fully convinced they have a crashed UFO, still they might be wrong.
2. Potential for sophisticated deception. State actors have many potential motives to create elaborate UFO-related hoaxes. They also have incredible means. Such counter-intel work could be a matter of national security, as with the apparent "red mercury" hoax surrounding nuclear weapons. Anyway, if Lockheed Martin made a multi-million dollar effort to create something that appeared to be a piece of alien wreckage, science would struggle to ever unravel the truth.
3. Miraculous secrecy. The claims reported would constitute pretty much the only information that a government has tried to keep secret that has so far had never been revealed (except potentially by Lazar). This despite the fact that the US has experienced numerous extensive, uncontrolled leaks over the past 40 years - also despite the fact that several governments supposedly maintaining secrecy on this subject have fallen apart (Soviet Union, Fascist Italy, Nazi Germany, etc). Even top priority secrets like nuclear weapon, missile, and submarine technologies have transferred almost willy nilly since the fall of the Soviet Union - yet there's no evidence that word of alien artifacts ever has. You've heard this one: the many people working on alien technology would have all had to keep silent (except again Lazar) despite the importance of this matter to science and the human race at large. Well now we'd be talking about thousands of individuals from around the world keeping the secret across decades.
4. Just artifacts, no technologies. No important known technologies have been developed by reverse engineering alien stuff. Major innovations like agriculture, digital computing, silicon chips, stealth aircraft, high-bypass jet engines, carbon nanotubes, fiber optics, genetic engineering, cheap orbital rockets, thermonuclear bombs, etc etc are all verifiably human developed - they all have long, publicly documented development histories. Our consumer chemistry and energy sectors are what you'd expect from pouring oil on humans, no need for alien intervention. Meanwhile apparently no alien tech insights are expected: the Pentagon has been making decades-long commitments to invest trillions in familiar human technologies like the F-35, B21, NGAD, and conventional orbital rockets.
5. Just artifacts, no organisms. There's been NO significant, enduring biological contamination of earth. This is a fairly well-studied topic. It's just us here: the life that came about 4 billion years ago. It'd be amazing luck to escape forward biological contamination while also receiving significant accidentally-crashed technological contamination.
6. Unexplained numbers. Why aren't these items more common? There are literally millions of stone tools made by humans lying on the ground in Africa. Stuff accumulates over time. Why have such items arrived recently but not intermittently across the history of earth? Or if this isn't just a recent phenomenon, why aren't there larger numbers of these artifacts by now?
7. No public discoveries. There are no cases of people coming forward with seemingly alien artifacts. Why isn't bumping into alien parts a thing that happens on at least rare occasion - like how people sometimes stumble upon a nugget of gold or dig a hole and find mammoth tusks? The Voynich manuscript, the Antikythera mechanism, meteors from Mars, etc have all surfaced and been reported on. But there's no instance of someone running to Christies with a piece of inexplicable technology only for the men in black to arrive.
8. No contemporary collections. There's noone out there in any jurisdiction with a publicly known-about collection of artifacts that have no obvious human origin - no museum, no institutional collection. How would defense communities have gotten such a stranglehold on these items? How would they maintain that globally, wherever they're found?
9. No historical collections. People have never had anything like alien artifacts. Meteoric iron falls from the sky on rare occasion. Its use is widespread in ancient civilizations. But noone was running around with advanced alloys or inexplicable silicon chips. There are no parts of alien spacecraft well-attested in the historical record.
10. Inexplicably polite visitors. Why hasn't anyone ever taken our stuff - for example, before we evolved? Gold deposits we're mining now were provably untouched since they got here. Same with many other resources on earth and beyond. There are highly unusual M-class asteroids in solar orbit out past Mars made of the rarest, most valuable materials just waiting to be exploited. If there are aliens around - if there have been aliens around potentially for quite a while - why didn't they ever take that stuff?

Company Name	Title	City
Concrete Science	Concrete Finisher	Corcoran
Malco Products	New Products Development Tool & Die Maker	Annandale
Malco Products	Tool & Die Maker 1	Annandale
Malco Products	Tool & Die Maker 2	Annandale
Ninth Judicial District	Stenographic or Electronic Court Reporter	Bemidji
Black Boot Builders	Construction/Iron Worker	Cambridge
Cloquet Housing Authority	Maintenance Technician	Cloquet
Adams Publishing Group LLC	Little Falls Reporter	Eden Prairie
Otter Tail Power Company	Transmission Land Specialist	Fergus Falls
Otter Tail Power Company	Reliability Engineer	Fergus Falls
Otter Tail Power Company	Energy Recovery Analyst	Fergus Falls
Red River Valley Co-op Power	Director of Finance and Administration	Halstad
Mid-Minnesota Legal Aid	Grants ManageAdministrator Full-time (Hybrid)	Mankato
Mid-Minnesota Legal Aid	Human Resources & Accounting Specialist Full-Time	Minneapolis
City of Mounds View	Police Officer	Mounds View
Ymca	Lifeguards	Northfield
Cemstone	Ready-Mixed Drivers	Owatonna
ECM Printing	Web Press Operators	Princeton
ECM Printing	Postpress Helpers	Princeton
Community Resource Bank	Mortgage Loan Officer	Roseville
Automotive Part Headquarters	Store Counter Sales Rep	Saint-Cloud
AmerisourceBergen	Warehouse Position	Shakopee
Meyer Bros LLC	Class A Cdl Driver	City Of Rochester
Meyer Bros LLC	Class A Cdl Driver	City Of Woodbury
Delta Airlines	Flight Attendant	Minneapolis-Saint-Paul

Hey guys, here are some recent job openings in mn. Feel free to comment here or send me a private message if you have any questions, I'm at the community's disposal! If you encounter any problems with any of these job openings please let me know that I will modify the table accordingly. Thanks!

I'm preferably looking for the 2023 codes from my ISO list. My ISO list is at the bottom of the list, titles in bold are my top wants.
UNTOUCHED: 20th Century Women - VUDU - HD A Quiet Place: Part II - VUDU or iTunes - 4K Adaptation - MA/VUDU - 4K Alice in Wonderland (1951) - MA/VUDU - HD Alita: Battle Angel - MA/VUDU - 4K Ambulance - MA/VUDU - 4K American Psycho - VUDU or iTunes - 4K Amsterdam - MA/VUDU - HD Antlers - MA/VUDU - HD Assassination Nation - MA/VUDU - HD Atlantis: 2-Movie Collection - MA/VUDU - HD Avatar: The Way of Water - MA/VUDU - HD Babylon - VUDU or iTunes - 4K Beast - MA/VUDU - HD Black Adam - MA/VUDU - 4K Black Widow - MA/VUDU - 4K Bodies Bodies Bodies - VUDU - 4K Boy Erased - MA/VUDU - HD Brother Bear: 2-Movie Collection - MA/VUDU - HD Bullet Train - MA/VUDU - HD Chaos Walking - VUDU or iTunes - 4K Christopher Robin - MA/VUDU - HD Cinderella: 3-Movie Collection - MA/VUDU - HD Cloverfield - VUDU or iTunes - 4K Cool Hand Luke - MA/VUDU - 4K Creed III - VUDU - 4K Cruella - MA/VUDU - 4K Daybreakers - VUDU - 4K Dear Evan Hansen (Studio Code) - MA/VUDU - 4K Death on the Nile - MA/VUDU - 4K Disobedience - MA/VUDU - HD Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness - MA/VUDU - 4K Don't Worry Darling - MA/VUDU - HD Downton Abbey: A New Era - MA/VUDU - HD Dumbo (1941) - MA/VUDU - HD Dune - MA/VUDU - 4K Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves - VUDU or iTunes - 4K Edward Scissorhands - MA/VUDU - HD Encanto - MA/VUDU - 4K Eternals - MA/VUDU - 4K Everything Everywhere All At Once - VUDU - 4K Evil Dead Rise - MA/VUDU - HD Fantasy Island - MA/VUDU - HD Father Stu - MA/VUDU - HD Firestarter - MA/VUDU - HD Freaks of Nature - MA/VUDU - HD Free Guy - MA/VUDU - 4K Gallipoli - VUDU or iTunes - HD Green Book - MA/VUDU - HD Green Lantern: Beware My Power - MA/VUDU - 4K Halloween Ends - MA/VUDU - 4K Halloween Kills - MA/VUDU - 4K Highlander - VUDU - 4K Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard - VUDU or iTunes - 4K Honest Thief - MA/VUDU - HD How to Talk to Girls at Parties - VUDU - HD Indignation - VUDU - HD Interstellar - VUDU or iTunes - 4K Jackass Forever - VUDU or iTunes - HD/4K John Wick: Chapter 4 - VUDU or iTunes - 4K Jojo Rabbit - MA/VUDU - 4K Jungle Cruise - MA/VUDU - 4K Kingsman: 2-Movie Collection - MA/VUDU - 4K Last Christmas - MA/VUDU - HD Last Night in Soho - MA/VUDU - 4K Leave No Trace - MA/VUDU - HD Let Him Go (Studio Code) - MA/VUDU - 4K Lightyear - MA/VUDU - 4K Love, Simon - MA/VUDU - HD Mad Max: 4-Movie Collection - MA/VUDU - 4K Memory - MA/VUDU - HD Men - VUDU - HD Missing - MA/VUDU - HD Mission: Impossible - 6-Movie Collection - VUDU or iTunes - 4K Moonfall - VUDU or iTunes - 4K Morbius - MA/VUDU - 4K Mortal - VUDU or iTunes - HD Mortal Kombat (2021) - MA/VUDU - 4K Nomadland - MA/VUDU - HD Nope - MA/VUDU - HD Once Upon a Deadpool - MA/VUDU - HD One Ranger - VUDU or iTunes - HD/4K Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre - VUDU or iTunes - 4K Ordinary People - VUDU or iTunes - HD Orphan: First Kill - VUDU or iTunes - HD/4K Paranormal Activity: The Ultimate Chills Collection - VUDU or iTunes - HD Peter Pan: Return to Neverland - MA/VUDU - HD Peter Rabbit: 2-Movie Collection - MA/VUDU - HD Plane - VUDU or iTunes - 4K Polite Society - MA/VUDU - HD Professor Marston and the Wonder Women - MA/VUDU - HD Rambo: 5-Movie Collection - VUDU - 4K Ratatouille - MA/VUDU - 4K Raya and the Last Dragon - MA/VUDU - 4K Ready or Not - MA/VUDU - HD Red Eye - VUDU - 4K Red Rocket - VUDU - HD Redeeming Love - MA/VUDU - HD Renfield - MA/VUDU - HD Repo! The Genetic Opera - VUDU - HD Reservoir Dogs - VUDU or iTunes - 4K Rocky: The Knockout Collection - VUDU - 4K Rogue (2020) - VUDU or iTunes - 4K Ron's Gone Wrong - MA/VUDU - 4K Saint Maud - VUDU - HD Scream (2022) - VUDU or iTunes - 4K Seriously Red - VUDU - HD She Said - MA/VUDU - HD Sleeping Beauty (Signature Collection) - MA/VUDU - HD Soul - MA/VUDU - 4K Spell - VUDU or iTunes - HD/4K Spider-Man: 3-Movie Collection - MA/VUDU - 4K Spider-Man: No Way Home - MA/VUDU - 4K Spies in Disguise - MA/VUDU - 4K Spinning Gold - MA/VUDU - HD Spirit Untamed: The Movie - MA/VUDU - HD Spontaneous - VUDU - HD Stillwater - MA/VUDU - HD Studio 666 - MA/VUDU - HD Swiss Army Man - VUDU - HD Teen Spirit - MA/VUDU - HD The Alfred Hitchcock Classics Collection - MA - 4K The Alfred Hitchcock Classics Collection Vol. 2 - MA - 4K The Amazing Spider-Man: 2-Movie Collection - MA/VUDU - 4K The Aristocats - MA/VUDU - HD The Art of Self-Defense - MA/VUDU - HD The Banshees of Inisherin - MA/VUDU - HD The Batman - MA/VUDU - 4K The Best of Mickey Collection - MA/VUDU - HD The Black Phone - MA/VUDU - HD The Bob's Burgers Movie - MA/VUDU - 4K The Cabin in the Woods - VUDU or iTunes - 4K The Card Counter - MA/VUDU - HD The Craft: Legacy - MA/VUDU - HD The Dentist Collection - VUDU - HD The Exorcism of God - VUDU or iTunes - HD The Fabelmans - MA/VUDU - 4K The French Dispatch - MA/VUDU - HD The Green Knight - VUDU - 4K The Grudge (2020) - MA/VUDU - HD The Hunchback of Notre Dame: 2-Movie Collection - MA/VUDU - HD The Invisible Man (2020) - MA/VUDU - HD The Invitation - MA/VUDU - HD The Jungle Book (1967) - MA - HD The Jungle Book 2 - MA/VUDU - HD The Killing of a Sacred Deer - VUDU - HD The Last Duel - MA/VUDU - 4K The Lion King: 2-Movie Collection - MA/VUDU - HD The Little Mermaid - MA/VUDU - 4K The Lobster - VUDU - HD The Lodge - MA/VUDU - HD The Lost Boys - MA/VUDU - 4K The Lost City - VUDU or iTunes - 4K The Maltese Falcon - MA/VUDU - 4K The Man Who Invented Christmas - MA/VUDU - HD The Marksman - MA/VUDU - HD The Menu - MA/VUDU - HD The Monster - VUDU - HD The Night House - MA/VUDU - HD The Prestige - MA/VUDU - 4K The Princess and the Frog - MA/VUDU - 4K The Remains of the Day - MA/VUDU - 4K The Rescuers: 2-Movie Collection - MA/VUDU - HD The Shawshank Redemption - MA/VUDU - 4K The Super Mario Bros. Movie - MA/VUDU - 4K The Terminator - VUDU - HD The Unholy - MA/VUDU - HD The Whale - VUDU - HD The Woman King - MA/VUDU - 4K Thor: Love and Thunder - MA/VUDU - 4K Ticket to Paradise - MA/VUDU - HD Tolkien - MA/VUDU - HD Turning Red - MA/VUDU - 4K Umma - MA/VUDU - HD Unbreakable - MA/VUDU - 4K Uncharted - MA/VUDU - HD Underwater - MA/VUDU - HD Vivo - MA/VUDU - HD Voyagers - VUDU or iTunes - 4K Wall-E - MA/VUDU - 4K Wander Darkly - VUDU or iTunes - HD West Side Story - MA/VUDU - 4K Where'd You Go, Bernadette - MA/VUDU - HD Wreck-It Ralph - MA/VUDU - 4K X-Men: Dark Phoenix - MA/VUDU - 4K Yesterday - MA/VUDU - HD You Were Never Really Here - VUDU - HD
SPLIT: 101 Dalmatians II: Patch's London Adventure - GP - HD Bambi II - MA/VUDU - HD Danger Close - VUDU - HD Spies in Disguise - MA/VUDU - HD The Book of Henry - iTunes - HD The French Dispatch - MA/VUDU - HD The Guest - iTunes - 4K
MY ISO LIST: 2023: 65 / A Good Person / Maximum Overdrive / Creed III 4K / The Running Man 4K / Shazam! Fury of the Gods 4K / Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania 4K / The Italian Job 4K / Moving On / Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre / Knock at the Cabin / Superman I-IV 5-Film Collection 4K / Champions / Deep Impact 4K / Supercell / Jesus Revolution / The Man Who Fell to Earth 4K / Magic Mike's Last Dance / Marlowe / Righteous Thieves / Transfusion / Confess, Fletch / Mickey and Friends: 10 Classic Shorts / Warner Bros 100th 25-Film Collection, Vol. One, Two, Three, Four / Missing / Plane / Babylon 4K / M3GAN / Seriously Red / Alice, Darling / A Man Called Otto / The Whale / Women Talking / B'Twixt Now and Sunrise / Devotion / Puss in Boots: The Last Wish / Rocky: The Knockout Collection 4K / Whitney Houston: I Wanna Dance with Somebody / Empire of Light / The Inspection / The Old Way / The Price We Pay / The Remains of the Day 4K / 3 Days of the Condor / The Fabelmans / Strange World / Mickey and Minnie: 10 Classic Shorts / Spoiler Alert / Big Night / Bones and All / The Diving Bell and the Butterfly / Event Horizon 4K / Gallipoli / Young Sherlock Holmes / Mindcage / Rock Dog 3: Battle the Beat / Violent Night / Double Jeopardy 4K / Till / She Said / Armageddon Time / Prey for the Devil
2022: Tár 4K / Gigi and Nate / American Murderer / Call Jane / Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile / Ticket to Paradise / 48 Hrs. / Another 48 Hrs. 4K / Adaptation. 4K / Amsterdam / Better Off Dead / The Warriors / Don't Worry Darling 4K / Bros / The Good House / The Inhabitant / Jerry and Marge Go Large / Three Thousand Years of Longing / Aqua Teen Forever: Plantasm / Saturday Night Fever 4K / The Classic Christmas Specials Collection 4K / Honk for Jesus. Save Your Soul. / The Polar Express 4K / Columbia Classics Collection: Volume 3 4K / The Invitation / Fall / Mack and Rita / Orphan: First Kill / Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank / Rumble / Beast / Frankenweenie / The Limey 4K / Paranormal Activity: The Ultimate Chills Collection / Universal Classic Monsters: Icons of Horror Collection Vol. 2 4K / Catch Me If You Can / DC League of Super-Pets / Mean Girls / Vengeance / Fatal Attraction 4K / Real Genius 4K / Where the Crawdads Sing / Minions: The Rise of Gru / Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris / American Carnage / Stalag 17 / Event Horizon 4K / Harry Potter 20th Anniversary: Return to Hogwarts / Lilo and Stitch: 2-Movie Collection / Vivo / The Bob's Burgers Movie / Angel Heart 4K / Galaxy Quest / Memory / After Yang / The Bad Guys 4K / Cinderella / Giant 4K / The Emperor's New Groove: 2-Movie Collection / Father Stu / Fatherhood / The Rescuers: 2-Movie Collection / 1776 4K / The Untouchables 4K / Malignant 4K / Teen Titans Go! and DC Super Hero Girls: Mayhem in the Multiverse / Umma / Extreme Prejudice / Infinite / Top Secret / The Alfred Hitchcock Classics Collection Vol. 2 4K / Dog / Blacklight / The Outfit / Cyrano / The Exorcism of God / The Humans / The King's Daughter / C'mon C'mon / Marry Me / Ordinary People / Red Rocket / Redeeming Love / Rugrats 3-Movie Collection / Belfast / Escape from L.A. 4K / Looper 4K / Almost Famous 4K / Clifford the Big Red Dog / The Addams Family 2

CHAPTER ONE
I saw a light in the sky and he came down from it
That was a courtesy
What was ?
The light
What do you mean ? Who are you ?
Look I hate to be rude but we kinda need you, are you in ?
Are you God ?
If I say yes would you be more or less likely to help me ?
I don’t know.
Then, yes, I’m God, and I need your help
If you’re God, why do you need my help ?
I’m not God, I just said that to get you to help me. I’m sorry but I’m in a rush, are you in or are you out ?
I don’t even know what you’re asking
I’ll tell you on the way
We were in a big house. There was one of those double stairs that led up to one landing, then split again and met at the next landing. They went on and on, I couldn’t see where they ended.
You do not wanna know where that stairway goes
Where does it go ?
He gave me a look that made me feel stupid.
Every landing seemed to go on forever, just rows of heavy wooden doors as far as the eye could see. I turned 90 degrees and felt a bit funny, but couldn’t quite place why. Just rows of doors forever, same as before. I turned again. Now I was facing the opposite way to when I came in. There was what looked like a front door, twice my height, with a gold doorknob on it. But above that door I could still the landings. And the doors. They still went on forever. I turned again, expecting to see it but still unable to comprehend it when I actually saw it. The doors, going on forever. Again.
Oh yeah, I forget sometimes that you people are three dimensional, I swear it makes sense when I look at it. Come on, we don’t have much time.
We turned, and where I was sure there was a blank wall was now a golden arch. There was some fog coming through it, and lights flashing red and blue in an otherwise darkened room.
It’s a rave from your world, frozen in time. It’s along the shortest path to where we’re going.
We walked through the rave. I was trying to nudge past people. He floated up and delicately walked across their heads.
Spend some time here and you’ll figure out how to do this, the rules don’t apply here like they do in your world.
I believed him.
I looked around. The very silent disco went on forever in every direction.
When we reached the back, there was another golden arch. This one led to a room with a counter in the middle of the floor. There were pens on the counter, and pieces of paper, and a large sheet of glass. There was a woman on one side of the counter, and two men on the other. They were wearing masks. One of them had a gun drawn. There was a bullet between the end of the gun and the woman’s head
Uh oh, I wonder how she’ll get out of this one
She gets out of this ?
I mean, I can’t see what happens beyond the moment we're in any more than you can, but I highly doubt it. Come on we’re not there yet.
Somehow, the counter stretched on forever
The final room certainly did not stretch on forever. It was barely two metres in any direction. There was a table and a chair, the only problem was the table went from one wall to the other, and I would have to gracelessly clamber across the table in order to sit in the chair. But then I was in the chair. Another guy walked in.
Apologies for the suspense, do you have any questions ?
I don’t know
Nothing ? Not even a why am I here ? Not even a why me ?
Why am I here ? Why me ?
You were right, they really do ask the worst questions. Glad you asked ! First things first, do you know what a universe is ?
Everything ?
That’ll do, but what if I told you that there were even more everythings ? And they were everywhere, all at once ?
I don’t follow.
Imagine you decided not to come with us today, your life would have taken a different turn, you wouldn’t be sitting at that table right now. Following so far ?
Sure
Great ! So you making a different choice results in something being different, something is a part of everything, so everything is different. Your choices change everything, which is real neato, as the kids are saying. So let’s say there was a way to explore all these different possibilities, let’s say you could look at what you life would be like if you had made those different choices, all those everythings would be different, and you would have a different…?
Universe ?
That’s right ! You are very clever ! So if we have multiple universes, we can map out what we call a -
Multiverse ?
How did you know ? Wow I actually was impressed that time
I saw 2 movies that mentioned it in 2 weeks.
Ha-ha, maybe this version of you did. Anyway, I'm having too much fun, imagine you said “I am going to interact with every multiversal version of me except the one that smells like fish all the time”, and somehow, against all the odds, you succeeded. That'd be cool, wouldn't it ?
Ok
But, you may be thinking to yourself, what about the timeline where you say to yourself “I am going to visit every version of myself except the one where I have a big forehead ? Or have acne ? Or live in a pineapple under the sea ? Or any other number of things ? Assuming you could succeed at any of these things, it’d be impossible to succeed at all of them. That's where we get the omniverse from. Think of it as being above the multiverses. And it lets us keep track of all of them simultaneously
Is there more ?
More ?
More layers ? Are there infinite omniverses and infinite somethings above them ?
Would you be capable of caring about it if I told you there were ?
I don’t know
Basically what we want is a bit of a laundry list done. Its gonna look like random jobs, just checking up on people from time to time. But it is integral to the structure of the omniverse itself that you do this. The reasons why are beyond your comprehension.
Am I going to get to go home ?
Eventually, maybe
CHAPTER TWO
Do you have a name
Yeah
Cool
Yeah
I'm going to show you your chores now
Ok
He concentrated for a few moments. He raised his hand and made a motion like he was typing on a keyboard. The floor fell away, revealing an infinite void, like space, all around us. There was a commotion behind me, and I turned tot see a corridor being made. The sounds of commotion were still somehow coming from behind me, so I turned again to see the same corridor, this time it stretched even further into the distance
Sorry this will take a while, were constructing it one dimension at a time, just about to start adding the sixth. Give it a second and well have it finished.
We were still floating, but now the corridor was all around us. The sound of commotion was all around now, it sounded like lots of materials being smashed together; stones, metal, wood, clay, water, flesh.
And done
We drooped to the floor. This part of the corridor looked like an ancient Roman street, complete with a market, although there were no people to man them.
Like I said, this is just the shortest distance between the points we need.
Ok
We’ll get going and I’ll explain everything on the way. He handed me what looked like a small stone, but it lit up and created a screen, it looked remarkably like a tablet computer when it was turned on. A lot of things I didn’t understand or frankly care about lit up. I looked away and it powered down.
That will help you keep track of everything
I figured.
This is our first subject. Her name is Maria
Can she see us ?
No. she's just sitting here playing with her fruit.
She's not moving
She's frozen in time until you start
Will she be able to see us then
Yes. She's going to be doing something with her fruit. Recently she had a wedding for her oranges.
Ha-ha
Yeah. When the time comes, you just write it down on you tablet, can you do that ?
I opened the tablet. It anticipated what I was thinking and made the correct page for me.
Great. Moving on.
We closed the door, leaving Maria for now. We continued down the street. Quite suddenly, although not immediately, it became the interior of what looked like a space ship.
This is a universe where the entire...left side of the universe declared war on the right side. I really don’t want to get into it, all you need to know is the teams are the Yingits and the Yangits. You have no idea how much it pains me to say, but earth actually is the centre of the universe here, so earth’s politics are, needless to say, divided. The pilot of this ship was born coincidentally on the same day as the version of you from this universe, but he fell into a cryogenic chamber for almost a thousand years, got out, began what would have been one of the greatest empires the world had ever known, had he not fallen into another cryogenic chamber for another thousand years. When he got out, the war had started, and none cared enough to follow him anymore. His names Fornot, you just need to find out what side he’s fighting on.
This is weird
Yeah.
We closed the door and went on. The spaceship corridor gave way to some cold, stone steps. There was water dripping from the walls, and mould growing, the whole place stank and it was far too cramped. There was a rough wooden door with an ornate golden handle. He opened it. Three people were inside the cave, with about 500 people crowded around the entrance, trying to get a glance in.
This guy here, his name is Su-lan. He comes from an island off the coast of...it’s a different planet you wouldn't know it anyway. Member of the La tribe, cool guys and gals. Ah I may as well say it, this is a universe where humans have attempted to colonise every planet they’ve come to, and they’ve had a 100% success rate. Believe it or not, we are currently in the orbit of a gas giant called...you wouldn't remember, call it 2piter.
Ok
So Su-lan’s wife, do you see her there ? Her name is Su-fo, she took part of his name when she married, according to a custom that goes back 420 years
Ok
So they painted all these symbols along the walls and on the floor and they drew that big circle, not easy to do when you've got arthritis like they do, let me tell you. Anyway, you may be wondering how humanity has been able to conquer every known planet in the universe, it was quite easy you see. Firstly, they changed the definition of planet to “that which can be conquered by humanity” and the second was that in the 20th century, they discovered a ritual which, when performed on the right people, would grant them godlike powers. After that it was actually quite easy. One in every roughly million people gains powers this way, and if they do, they become custodians of a planet or two, or even a whole solar system ! Isn't that neat ? Anyway, the girl in the middle, her name is Su-ner, and she’ll be doing the ritual today to see if she can get these powers. You see how she takes the first part of her father's name ? Well when she gets married
I get it
They said you were smart. You're just confirming whether or not she gets these powers, sound easy enough for you ?
Yes
Then lets keep going.
He overturned a stone, revealing a portal on the underside. The portal kind of dripped off the bottom of the stone until it landed on the wall opposite us. We walked through. Now we were in what looked to be the foyer of a hotel.
This is your parents’ house in the universe where they never had you.
What ? They got rich without me ?
'fraid so. They bought a really lucky lottery ticket.
Oh
then they used to money to buy a few sweatshops in China.
Oh.
anyway, we are looking for the game room, it’s...this way I think.
He led me down a series of corridors, containing great works of art, statues, suits of armour, I thought I saw Eric Clapton by a swimming pool. We found the game room. It was bigger than my house. It had arcade machines, a screen bigger than any cinema I’d ever been in, there were people in uniforms milling around, a huge crowd in the centre of the floor, a room of computers and people with headsets, it looked like mission control at NASA. At the centre of it all was a guy who looked a lot like me, he had a trolley in front of him with a row of suits. They looked like those green suits that covered people from head to toe, except they were black. He had a furrowed brow, he was deciding something. The suits had little white balls on them.
Remember when I said your parents didn’t have you ? Well this is the kid they had instead. Thanks to the money, he’s hosting and competing in the world video game championships. These are his haptic suits, they do motion capture and let him interact with the game world and give him feedback and stuff, kind of like a controller that you wear
Ok.
Tell us which one he picks.
There was another door on the far side of the room. We went through it. It opened onto a waterfall. He grabbed me and we stepped off together. The waterfall was frozen in time. We rotated 90 degrees, and gravity moved with us, so we ended up just walking down it a little bit. There was a metal hatch at the bottom. He opened it up and let me inside. Gravity shifted again, so we were not standing on the roof, staring down at a lab. There were two scientists inside, one a rotund man with a bushy beard, the other thin and small, with an equally thin and small moustache. There was a birdcage in the middle, and a bird was suspended in the air within the cage. There were what looked like two circular windows in the end of the room. Or at least, a different version of me would have thought they were windows. Having seen what I had seen, I knew they were portals of some kind. One opened to a golden meadow, accentuated by the setting sun. The other was a nigh time setting of a colourful forest, with glow in the dark foliage accentuating the fruits and flowers which were present. They looked equally inviting.
This lab has been experimenting with multiversal travel, we love to see it. See that clipboard ? They've taken the same bird from hundreds of different universes and are setting it free in the lab and seeing which of the two portals it goes through. Their theory currently is; same bird, same portal. I rememberer when we were at that stage, fun times. You just need to tell us which portal this bird flies through. see that fat guy ? He once won a hot dog eating contest by lining them up and having his friend push them into his mouth while he swallowed with his mouth open on the other end of the table. The friend was the small guy, who got a splinter from the table and had to be rushed to the emergency department and spent 20 hours on a trolley and by the time he got seen to he had taken the splinter out himself but he got charged for the time on the trolley and now he’s here to pay off the medical bill.
Ok
Let's keep going.
He opened another hatch in the roof and stepped through. It opened not to the waterfall, but to a city. It was grey and the buildings were big.
Ok this is about two years after you went away
I'm not going home, am I ?
Not with that attitude. It doesn’t matter where we are...humans have colonised a planet that is more or less identical to earth and are making the exact same mistakes all over again. We are in New York 2, although I would prefer if you called it 2 York.
Ok
There's a guy called Killer Lenny. We need you to tail him for the next few months and find out what job he gets.
Months ?
It’ll fly, well make sure your needs are met during that time.
Ok.
One final thing.
He opened a manhole cover, and jumped in. I didn’t hear him hit the bottom, but I jumped in too. I landed on...the street I had just jumped off.
Different universe, same setup, multiverse fun ! There are some gangs, the Rabble, the Rapple, the Raggle, the Rattle, the Raddle, the Raxxle, the Razzle, the Rassle, and the Raffle. They all wear different colours and I think they carry weapons corresponding to the gang they're in. They've been having problems for the last few years and its all coming to a head tonight and we need you to tell us who comes out on top. I’d say take a secure position and wait it out, we’re not expecting it to take any more than about an hour once it starts.
Ok. when do I start ?
Well take some time and you can start more or less immediately. We need to do some stuff back at base but that wont take long.
CHAPTER 2.5
OK step on through. The fact that I wont be with you means the shortest path between these places might be different to the ones we took originally, just check your device regularly and you should be fine. Any questions ?
Yeah, why am I doing this ?
It's recently been discovered that there is an omniverse where you do this, you report certain things to us, and then totally unrelated circumstances in a trillion years means we gain a bonus of sorts. Consider yourself the litmus test
Oh
Oh and we’re giving you like a billion dollars or something
Cool
Ok let's go
He pushed me through the portal. It closed behind me. I was on the street in Rome.
CHAPTER 3
I walked around a bit before I went to her. This had been my first chance to get any my bearings since this whole thing started. I noticed a bird in the air. It wasn't moving. I realised I would need to open the door to Maria's house before time would start in this universe again. I grew bored, and opened the door. Maria was sitting on the floor, on her own.
Hello
Hi
Are you alright ? I was sent to check up on you.
I'm fine, thank you.
What are you doing ?
I am playing with my fruit. I like to play with my fruit. My legs don’t work good so I can’t go outside with my friends. Well. I wouldn't be able to go out with my friends if I had any. My mother gives me fruit to play with and when I finish playing with it I eat it.
Oh. That's nice. What are you doing now ?
Last week my oranges got married. They love eachother very much.
That's nice. Where are they now ?
They are over here, well some of them are. I ate some and I fed a few more to the pigs, but I have some apples and a pear and some grapes now. They are making music together.
Music ?
Yes ! Their names are Do, Re, Mi, Fa, So, La, Ti, and then we have another Do, I think she is the mother of all the others.
Very nice, what else do they do ?
They can do all sorts of things !
She showed me to a lute that was hanging on the wall. She played an open string on it.
See, if we call that note Do, then the one here
she played it at the second fret
would be called Re.
Lovely
And something I learned recently, if you push the note up one more, you can change its name ! So I can turn Re into Ri !
Amazing. Can you turn Fa into Fi and La into Li ?
Yep !
She showed me what they sounded like.
You can also push notes down to turn and that changes their name too, so Re becomes Ra, and Mi becomes Ma, and So becomes Sa, and Ti becomes Ta. I think some of my fruits want to change their names, I think Ti definitely would prefer to be Ta, and I think Re would love to become Ri.
I bet they would, what are you going to do now ?
I think I will eat them !
She spent a few minutes looking for her fathers knife, but when she couldn’t find it, she went out to the shed and got out a saw. As she took it to he apple, the scene stopped. I knew it was time to go.
I recorded it all and went on my way. Kids sure are stupid, I said to myself.
There were a few people on the street now. They were clearly minding their own business, but time had stopped again so I couldn’t have spoken to them if I had wanted to. Beyond the market, I could see the stones giving way to the steel beams and electrical cables of the spaceship. I continued my journey.
The spaceship was as cold as it had been, although this time there was at least the whirring of the engines to provide some life. There were flashing buttons on the wall, and a magnificent vista of the earth. Actually, it probably wasn't the earth. The earth only has one moon.
I knocked on the door
Woah
I fell backwards. The inertia had caught me off guard.
What are you doing here ?
What are you doing here ?
I'm fighting these dirty Yangit scum, why, what side are you on ?
I was already gone
The beams and cables gave way to the cave where the ritual was taking place. Su-ner was exactly as I had left her, as were Su-lan and Su-fo. The whole ceremony consisted of Su-ner drinking a purple liquid from an ornate jug, then lying down in the firepit in the centre of the room. She seemed to be asleep. Su-fo lit a fire in the pit, and Su-ner didn’t move. From my vantage point at the back of the cave, I knew noone could see me, I doubted it would end well if they did. After a few minutes, Su-lan started convulsing on the floor, after another few minutes, Su-fo followed suit. I assumed they had inhaled too much smoke; they were between the firepit and the cave mouth. When they had stopped moving, noone dared breath. Noone looked at them, they were so fixated on Su-ner, who still hadn't moved. Some of them started clutching beads, closing their eyes, and offering prayers. It was obvious that Su-ner's parents were dead, the ritual had clearly gone disastrously wrong.
Until.
There was a creaking sound, like large amounts of earth and clay moving. The symbols on the wall started glowing, and somehow detached themselves from the wall, floating through the air and settling on Su-ner. A hole opened in the roof. Su-ner's eyes opened, they now glowed purple. She floated out of the hole. She touched parents’ hands, they awoke, and they climbed to their feet without a hint of their arthritis. Now the crowd was silent again. Su-ner said
I must fulfil my duty
And flew away. There was the sound of thunder crashing and trees falling and mountains colliding and winds howling and volcanoes erupting and rivers flowing, all for the greater good of humanity. The crowd erupted into cheers, the scene stopped. I overturned the stone and let the portal drip onto the wall.
I was back in my “parents” house. I got lost, it took me a while to get back to to where I had been before, there was some activity, the staff were friendly and pointed me in the right direction. It turned out to be Eric Clapton at the pool, he was humming his worst song, Wonderful Tonight, to himself.
I found my...brother in the game room, exactly where I had left him. He was still deciding what to wear. All the hap suits looked exactly the same to me so I dot k ow why he was taking such a long time figuring it out. I looked up at the screen and couldn’t believe my eyes. The world video game championship was a 1v1 in Fortnite. The UI and characters looked a bit different, but only marginally compared to that of my own universe. The game was even called Fortnite, except it was written in comic sans. He looked at me, gave me an up and down glance, there was a flicker of confusion on his face, then went back to picking his suit. He picked the 5th one in the lineup. I recorded it and left.
The two scientists were idiots. They tried like 100 times and every bird flew into the portal on the left. What kind of bird would ever fly into the night sky ?
Killer Lenny was a homeless bum. He walked up and down the same street every day, begging for change, not getting any, then going back to sleep on his little corner. I kept tabs on him, somehow never getting hungry, tired, or overly bored, for about 6 months. I never saw any reason to talk to him, nor did I have any interest in getting close enough to smell him. I suppose in a way I was the same as him, just walking up and down the street with no idea why, and no idea what I would do next. I got accosted a few times, but this universe seemed to have my back, it always sent a kind stranger or some blue lights to my aid, and I never got rained on in the time I was there. One day, Killer took a different path, he walked way out of town. He walked onto the bridge, edged over to the edge of the bridge. His toes were dangling off the edge. He heard a scream. There was a girl in the lake below. She was drowning. He sighed, took himself down from the edge, and took off running down to her. I didn’t bother following him, I watched him go out of view, I watched him come back into view, I watched him rush into the water and pull the girl out. I watched a man come racing down to the bank of the lake in a Bentley. He was wearing an exquisite suit. He exchanged words with Killer, they shook hands, and he drove off. Killer never said a word about it, he never looked back, he just walked back to his corner and resumed business as usual. Another 6 months after this, the Bentley drove up to him, the rich man got out, shook hands with Killer again, and they exchanged words. Killer pointed towards me, and the rich man beckoned me over. I walked over.
Boys, I've got a job for both of you. Killer here says you’ve been his constant companion, always by his side for the last year, and he told me about you and him having certain...abilities that I would find very useful. Now as I've said to Killer here, I am the CEO of the Deep Atlantic Research group, we've been drilling for oil and minerals for the last few years and we've run into some problems. Apparently, millions of years ago, alien spacecrafts landed in the ocean. They are hundreds of kilometres across, they are covering up some of the most valuable mineral deposits in he history of the world. Only problem in, we lack the technology to move them, we lack the technology to operate them, and we lack the technology to get into them. You probably understand already, but the real treasure is the alien tech we found along the way, the oil and gold and silicone and platinum and palladium are just the cherries on the cake. Now, we have taken a very strange request from Mr. Lenny on board, and we have built a big boat with a big diving board, which he says he can use to breach the hull of the alien ships at the bottom of the ocean. Would you like to become agents of our company ? We can assure you the salaries are...agreeable, and the benefits are even better.
I looked at Killer. He looked at me. He spoke first
We’ll take it
Time stopped. I didn’t know what his job title was. The door of the car opened all on its own. I stepped out. I was back on the same corner, but this time I knew there would be gang warfare instead of a sad homeless man. What would happen to him now ? Will he still get his job, now that I had disappeared ? would time ever unfreeze without me there ? I will admit, I was worried for him. The spell that had kept me content and only half-human was already beginning to wear off.
There was a loud scream. About 1000 men, all wearing their gang’s colours and brandishing their gang’s weapons, charged at eachother. Grenades were thrown, guns were fired, spears were used to impale, swords were slashed, shivs were shanked, rockets were launched, farts were smelled, portals to hell were opened, men died, were reanimated, then were killed again. It was over in about 45 seconds. One group, wearing nothing but green speedos, ran into the night, the only group to not have lost a single member. They were singing a song by the highly underrated Creedence Clearwater Revival. I had no idea who they were, and they were moving faster than I could follow. I had an idea. I climbed down from my hidey hole. I checked the name tags of the fallen members of the other gangs. The guys in red leather trench coats were the Rassle, the guys in surgical scrubs were the Rabble, the guys who wore a pirate hat on top of their cowboy hats were the Razzle, the guys who were tattooed head to toe with Spongebob were the Raxxle, the guys who had fluffy coats like sheep were the Raddle, guys who had cybernetic implants were the Rapple, and the guys who carried small pieces of brightly coloured paper were the Raffle. I figured out who the winners were, then I activated my tablet to bring me home.
CHAPTER 4
I found myself back in the room with seat and the table. The two guys were staring down at me
You've probably figured it out at this stage, haven't you ?
I nodded
We tried to keep it kinda cryptic for you for a while, but a smart guy like you ? There was no way you weren't gonna figure it out for yourself. Some of those references were just a bit on the nose, we know that. After 5000 words you kinda stop caring as much, may as well get it over with.
I handed over the tablet.
The guys took turns reading the sequence of events as I had written them
Saw Ri. Fornot’s a Yingit. Las cheer. Hap E. Bird; day. DAR. Raggle

I live in the San Fernando Valley area of Los Angeles. I have found at least 6 of these critters in my bathroom in the last three weeks. Also found one in my bedroom and one in my kitchen. It's black and is about 1mm long. It looks similar to an ant. They don't move much or very fast. They're usually stationary on the walls or counters when I find them.

A scorched courtyard full of corpses received its final one for the battle when a pseudodog riddled with bullets keeled over. Its limp, lifeless body was hit by one, last confirmation bullet, but the original intent by the shooter was now forgotten. The sound of a helicopter's rotors and engines was growing louder, and following it, Boris had ordered the men with him to reach cover instantly. Screaming one last order, for Dimka and Sevka to seek shelter under the grocery store, into his helmet radio, Boris could only pray for the two ex-UNISG troopers. The helicopter got closer, and a question on Degtyarev's lips froze when a hailstorm of bullets began hammering down on the yard like an angry god had just decided to strike the ground with a million lightning bolts. The three stalkers standing outside managed to reach the safety of the big blocky building just in time as the bullets kept getting closer.
"Who the hell are these guys now?", Degtyarev managed to somehow shout over the fire.
"We don't know, but they're in league with UNISG. Or were. They're led by some Serbin guy.", Boris yelled back in return.
"Serbin? Oh blyat, should have killed him when I had the chance.", Degtyarev muttered when the minigun fire from the chopper stalled for a second.
"You know him?", Dima asked, and the colonel nodded before answering.
"Back during Fairway, I had a chance to kill him. Killed his pal, Jackal, and he managed to escape."
"Damn. So that was what Vulture was on about. Who is Serbin?", Boris questioned in turn, but he was cut off by a remark from Sanyok.
"Troops rappeling down from the heli! Prepare for an attack!"
Boris spun around to look outside, where a squad of men in midnight-black armour was gathering under the helicopter. Fighting the gust coming off the rotors, they gathered in loose but organized formation, beginning to advance. The helicopter creeped onwards, and the rotary machine gun mounted in its side started spewing lead once more. Boris took cover alongside the others as the swarm of the bullets struck the edifice with immense strength. The helicopter closed in on the building, passing over it as the strong winds kept its momentum going too fast for it to remain stationary.
"It's our chance, strike them now that they're not supported!", Degtyarev ordered, and the men mounted the very same positions they had used earlier to fight UNISG.
The ten men advanced by the road, working very much like UNISG before them. These attackers had a machine gunner with them, which Redemption found out about the hard way when they fired the opening salvo. The mysterious force dispersed, receiving some hits but firing back in return, hitting Sanyok. The Redemption sergeant was struck in the shoulder by the machine gun-wielding trooper. Dima moved quickly to help Sanyok, who Boris saw to be in shock but not gravely wounded. Using the contents of Sanyok's orange medkit and a bandage to stop the bleeding, Dima hoped to at least stabilize his friend. Boris muttered a short prayer for Sanyok's recovery but grimly noted that it was one less gun in the fight.
Degtyarev and Dimuha had not been idle, though. The Abakan of the SSU agent sent two-round bursts at fearsome rate down the road, while Dimuha used his accurate machine gun to try pin down the enemy gunner. It was still an uphill struggle, for the enemy had far more guns and were no rookies by the looks. Boris tried to use his armour to their advantage, rising momentarily to fire a long burst, but he was immediately focused down. Boris felt a bullet strike his MASKA head on, again feeling blood trickle down his face. Another struck his front plate, the dull pain of a blunted bullet making his RPD swerve slightly, missing every round it had pushed out.
"This isn't working, they've got us pinned down.", Boris said while ducking down to wipe the blood coming off the bruise on his forehead.
"Da, I've managed to wound one of them and I'm down to my last two magazines. We need to retreat.", Degtyarev replied.
"But to where? Into the tunnels?", Dimuha asked.
"Tunnels?", the other SSU agent, Yvanova, asked.
"There's a network of tunnels below this place. Strelok used it to escape earlier. And Meeker dragged one of your men there to cover. We can reach the laundromat from there, apparently.", Dima replied.
"Let's go, then. No use sticking around here at this rate.", Dimuha said anxiously, as the wall shook from hits.
"Da. I'll hold them off for a bit. Go.", Degtyarev ordered, and the others crawled further into the building.
Boris could hear the distinct barks of the AN-94 even over all the noise. Further inside the decades old, decrepit building, they found a sewer grate-looking plate, and using his exoskeleton-boosted strength, Boris lifted it off the ground. Dima helped Sanyok lower down, Dimuha followed suit and Yvanova dropped down after him. Boris waited for two more minutes, seeing his comrade-at-arms disappear into the darkness with only their steps reassuring him that they had not faded into an abyss. When his clock notified him of the two minutes passing, the secret service colonel stormed into the room. Boris pointed him down the ladder, and soon even the exhausted Degtyarev had vanished. Boris attached a grenade to a rope he had been tying into the grate, and entered the manhole. He left the grenade now in a position, where even attempting to move the cover would cause the grenade to explode.
To his surprise, when Boris made it into the dusty, cramped corridor, Colonel Degtyarev was waiting for him.
"I wanted to use this brief moment of calm to, well, apologize. I really was in a tight spot, with the general breathing down my neck when it came to light that I had employed stalkers as help. Higher-ups think we cannot compromise with stalkers, while simultaneously they provide no help from the Speznaz or regulars.", Degtyarev said quietly.
"Often decisions you want to make and ones you need to make are as far apart as possible. So I accept that apology, but I must admit, I don't give a damn about your relations to Redemption. You worked for years with Strelok, you must have seen how the Institute treated him. I don't know him well, but Strelok barely shows any emotion from anything, yet when he recounted that situation of his in the Big Land, he seemed like a man whose opinions had been suppressed and belittled at every turn.", Boris commented.
"This isn't as much about him as it is about national security. He knows things about the Zone no one else does, even if he shared most of it with us. There is just too much at risk if we let him stay here. Monolith, Sin, UNISG and now Omega is on his heels, and it is only a matter of time before somebody gets him. And if it's international actors... It will be the foreign political crisis of our age.", Degtyarev replied.
"Wait, are those black-clad stalkers called Omega?", Boris asked.
"Ye-... Eh, never mind. You don't need to know more of them, really. All you need to know is that they're highly influential and are hellbent on killing Strelok. That's about all I'm allowed to share too, otherwise I need to eliminate you as well. And I've grown on your antics, so don't make me do it.", the colonel explained.
"I'm pushing it as is, so I won't. But back to Strelok, can you not see how he is handling the situation alone? He does not need state protection due to his legendary status, really. I have seen with my own eyes what his reputation does, in Limansk both Freedom and Duty arrived to fight by his example, and even kept a ceasefire intact for days due to it. Wherever he goes, he has allies, which is more then you can say about life outside the Zone. You know our office politicians and bureaucratic backstabbings, the jealous bastards would try to get rid of him any chance they got.", Boris countered, and for a brief moment, even in the darkness of the tunnel, Boris saw the colonel weigh his words.
"Boris, it's Dima. We got to the laundromat, but those goth larpers have shifted their attention towards here thanks to that blasted heli. Get a move on before you're encircled.", the helmet radio crackled to life inside Boris' helmet.
"Blyat, will this ever end.", Boris muttered and relayed the news to Degtyarev.
"We need to resolve what to do with Strelok later, but you raise good points. First, though, we need to deal with Omega. Let's move.", Degtyarev replied, and they moved through the cramped hallway faster now.
Soon the pair made it to the ladder leading up to a grate. Moving it, Boris found himself in broad daylight. They had arrived to the slightly wooded area between the apartment block and laundromat, where old construction equipment was left to rot and crumble away after the first disaster. On their right, coming from the gap between the H-shaped large apartment block and the tall commieblock on the opposite side of the road to it, was the Omega squad, still at full strength. Boris turned to look at the laundromat, where Dima, Dimuha and Yvanova had moved some of the metal plates from the windows to create firing ports. Rogue's machine gun was blasting from the first floor, while Dimuha's did the same from the upper one. Strelok used his custom SIG sniper to pin down the Omega squad's machine gunner. All in all this skirmish seemed far more balanced between the two sides than the earlier one. The Omega squad had more firepower, with many of its troopers armed with high-powered assault rifles and magazine-fed shotguns, but Strelok's entourage had the advantage in positioning and heavy weapons.
"Chyort, how do we get to the laundromat? It's open ground between us and those woods, far too much for my comfort.", Boris asked in a hushed tone.
"We have no choice but to make a break for it. Your armour should hold just fine.", Degtyarev said bluntly, and with a hesitant nod, Boris threw open the covering and jumped out into the open road.
Degtyarev followed suit, and they rushed on, towards the woodlands. To Boris' surprise, Degtyarev had been right and the Omega squad was too preoccupied to actually notice them. Once they made it into the shelter of the leaves, Degtyarev gave him a thumbs up, and Boris couldn't help but grin. This was a life or death situation and yet it felt like they had managed to evade an angry school teacher after some particularly annoying prank. Weighing their options, the two men decided to make another break for the laundromat. They ducked and weaved between various old concrete blocks and drums, pieces of lumber and ancient machines long dead and rusting. Almost at spitting distance from the laundromat, however, disaster struck. The deafening sound of a loud flying helicopter hit them first, and it was followed by the whirring of a M134 minigun. Boris felt Degtyarev push him behind a concrete block, and then all he could register was the ear-splitting sound of a lead rainstorm.
"That's it, then. No matter how hard we fight, nobody can get a line of sight on that chopper with the death ray running.", Boris complained.
"As much as I hate to agree with that bleak assessment, I know it to be true.", Degtyarev responded, hunkering down seconds later as another spray of death dug itself into the concrete around them.
That was when Boris could see movement at the corner of his eye. Strelok had risen up to the roof of the laundromat, and using the momentary focus of the chopper's gunner to his advance, had began laying down fire at the flying machine. It was mostly ineffective, but it did momentarily turn their attention from Boris and Degtyarev. Using it sprint towards the laundry building, they managed to scrape by with seconds to spare as Strelok retreated back inside as well. The furious gunner, fooled by his stealthy adversary, took out his frustration on the building at large. The entire structure shook as hundreds of rounds poured into it, and the defenders had to retreat back into the most safe room in the middle of the building. There, surrounded by laundry machines that blocked the few bullets that got through, Boris took his bearing on this sorry group.
Sanyok was wounded, and now so was Dimuha. Yar and Cashier, the two locals of this place, were patching them up. Meanwhile Meeker and Stitch took care of the wounded SSU agent from earlier fight with UNISG. Dima had hunkered down next to Rogue. Strelok made his way into the room now, stepping next to Degtyarev, and the two legends of the Zone shared a look that Boris could not entirely decipher but which he got the gist of. A look that said "we have some things to get through, but first we'll deal with this shit." It was too noisy for anyone to hear the others, but right now nobody really had anything to say either. They were under siege, and incredibly outgunned. Boris could see Yvanova at the other side of the room, gripping his gun like it was a saving light in the dark. For a brief second, Boris was sure that this would be the end of Redemption, and all he had worked for. Then, the minigun fire stopped. A sound of Omega squad placing explosives on the main door echoed inside the building. Then, a massive explosion.
Boris opened his eyes, but the door was still intact. Everyone listened as something fell hard from the ground, slamming down like thunder. Dima rushed to the window, Boris in tow, and they saw the Omega chopper, crashed down and burning like a star. The black armoured squad was looking at the crash site in disbelief, when gunfire from the large apartment block began cutting down the survivors. Over all the cacophony of the crash, Boris heard a helicopter. The Valkyrie, hanging atop said building, firing its machine gun at the Omega squad. Combined sniper and heavy machine gun fire tore the small group to shreds, and whatever threat they had posed to Strelok, Redemption and the SSU was now gone.
"The Ecologist Air Force saves the day once more!", Sokolov's voice rang in the comms.
Boris couldn't help but grin. Victory snatched from the jaws of defeat. For a moment he had lost hope. But never again, he swore. For nothing was ever as bleak as it seemed. Yet looking back and realizing the tension suddenly rising between Strelok and Degtyarev, he was suddenly far less sure of victory.

Everything in my inventory is up for trade. The most valuable items are listed here, the rest you can find in My Inventory

Feel free to Add Me or even better send a Trade Offer. Open for any suggestions: upgrades, downgrades / knives, gloves, skins / stickers, patterns, floats.

All Buyouts are listed in cash value.

KNIVES

★ Butterfly Knife Freehand FN #1, B/O: $2500

★ Butterfly Knife Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $822

★ Butterfly Knife Scorched FT, B/O: $616

⎯

★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth MW #1, B/O: $1300

★ Bayonet Autotronic FN, B/O: $1050

★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth MW, B/O: $629

★ Bayonet Bright Water FT, B/O: $326

★ Bayonet Safari Mesh BS, B/O: $233

⎯

★ Karambit Lore FT, B/O: $1110

★ Karambit Damascus Steel FT, B/O: $840

★ Karambit Freehand MW, B/O: $784

★ Karambit Bright Water MW, B/O: $759

⎯

★ M9 Bayonet Fade FN, B/O: $1801

★ M9 Bayonet Fade FN, B/O: $1801

★ M9 Bayonet Damascus Steel FN, B/O: $751

⎯

★ Nomad Knife Fade FN, B/O: $1156

★ Nomad Knife Slaughter MW, B/O: $544

★ Nomad Knife Blue Steel WW, B/O: $318

⎯

★ Flip Knife Marble Fade FN, B/O: $646

★ Flip Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $574

★ Flip Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) MW, B/O: $552

★ Flip Knife Case Hardened FT, B/O: $257

★ Flip Knife Freehand FT, B/O: $255

★ StatTrak™ Flip Knife Bright Water FN, B/O: $287

⎯

★ Huntsman Knife Lore FN, B/O: $461

★ Huntsman Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $436

★ Huntsman Knife Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $353

★ Huntsman Knife Autotronic FT, B/O: $212

★ Huntsman Knife Bright Water FT, B/O: $129

★ Huntsman Knife Forest DDPAT MW, B/O: $129

★ Huntsman Knife Forest DDPAT BS, B/O: $123

★ StatTrak™ Huntsman Knife Rust Coat BS, B/O: $127

⎯

★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 2) FN, B/O: $375

★ Bowie Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) FN, B/O: $363

★ Bowie Knife Tiger Tooth FN, B/O: $269

★ Bowie Knife Crimson Web WW, B/O: $192

★ Bowie Knife Bright Water FN, B/O: $159

★ Bowie Knife Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $126

⎯

★ Stiletto Knife Slaughter FN, B/O: $616

★ Stiletto Knife Crimson Web FT, B/O: $412

★ StatTrak™ Stiletto Knife Night Stripe FT, B/O: $227

⎯

★ Falchion Knife Lore FT, B/O: $214

★ Falchion Knife Autotronic FT, B/O: $192

★ Falchion Knife Scorched WW, B/O: $105

⎯

★ Survival Knife Crimson Web BS, B/O: $216

★ Survival Knife Case Hardened FT, B/O: $198

★ Survival Knife Scorched FT, B/O: $111

⎯

★ Shadow Daggers Fade FN, B/O: $368

★ Shadow Daggers Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $228

★ Shadow Daggers, B/O: $201

★ Shadow Daggers Damascus Steel FT, B/O: $108

★ Shadow Daggers Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $105

★ Shadow Daggers Black Laminate FT, B/O: $99

★ Shadow Daggers Forest DDPAT FT, B/O: $85

⎯

★ Gut Knife Doppler (Sapphire) MW #1, B/O: $1700

★ Gut Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) FN, B/O: $223

★ Gut Knife Marble Fade FN, B/O: $203

★ Gut Knife Doppler (Phase 2) FN, B/O: $191

★ Gut Knife Case Hardened BS, B/O: $127

⎯

★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $199

★ Navaja Knife Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $199

★ Navaja Knife, B/O: $138

★ Navaja Knife Damascus Steel FN, B/O: $111

⎯

★ Classic Knife Urban Masked FT, B/O: $146

★ StatTrak™ Classic Knife Stained BS, B/O: $168

⎯

★ Ursus Knife Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $476

★ Ursus Knife, B/O: $375

⎯

★ Skeleton Knife, B/O: $1137

★ Talon Knife, B/O: $608

★ Paracord Knife, B/O: $305

★ Survival Knife Forest DDPAT FT, B/O: $97

GLOVES

★ Moto Gloves Transport MW, B/O: $204

★ Moto Gloves Polygon BS, B/O: $142

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★ Moto Gloves 3rd Commando Company BS, B/O: $63

★ Moto Gloves 3rd Commando Company BS, B/O: $63

⎯

★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Kimono WW, B/O: $1215

★ Specialist Gloves Tiger Strike FT, B/O: $672

★ Specialist Gloves Lt. Commander FT, B/O: $305

★ Specialist Gloves Lt. Commander BS, B/O: $140

★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Web BS, B/O: $137

★ Specialist Gloves Buckshot FT, B/O: $75

⎯

★ Driver Gloves Crimson Weave FT, B/O: $359

★ Driver Gloves Imperial Plaid BS, B/O: $229

★ Driver Gloves Overtake BS, B/O: $77

★ Driver Gloves Racing Green FT, B/O: $48

⎯

★ Sport Gloves Omega FT, B/O: $739

★ Sport Gloves Amphibious BS #2, B/O: $733

★ Sport Gloves Arid BS, B/O: $292

⎯

★ Hand Wraps Giraffe MW, B/O: $212

★ Hand Wraps Leather FT, B/O: $160

★ Hand Wraps Desert Shamagh MW, B/O: $101

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★ Broken Fang Gloves Yellow-banded MW, B/O: $185

★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point FT, B/O: $67

★ Broken Fang Gloves Needle Point WW, B/O: $59

⎯

★ Hydra Gloves Case Hardened BS, B/O: $65

★ Hydra Gloves Emerald FT, B/O: $65

★ Hydra Gloves Emerald BS, B/O: $62

WEAPONS

AK-47 Case Hardened BS, B/O: $130

AK-47 Bloodsport MW, B/O: $79

AK-47 Fuel Injector BS, B/O: $76

AK-47 Fuel Injector BS, B/O: $76

AK-47 Bloodsport FT, B/O: $70

AK-47 Neon Rider MW, B/O: $60

StatTrak™ AK-47 Aquamarine Revenge FT, B/O: $72

⎯

AWP Fade FN, B/O: $1039

AWP Asiimov FT, B/O: $139

AWP Asiimov FT, B/O: $139

AWP Wildfire MW, B/O: $95

AWP BOOM MW, B/O: $93

AWP BOOM MW, B/O: $93

AWP Duality FN, B/O: $81

AWP Asiimov BS, B/O: $79

AWP Asiimov BS, B/O: $79

AWP Chromatic Aberration FN, B/O: $60

StatTrak™ AWP Hyper Beast FT, B/O: $68

StatTrak™ AWP Hyper Beast FT, B/O: $68

StatTrak™ AWP Electric Hive FT, B/O: $55

⎯

Desert Eagle Blaze FN, B/O: $623

Desert Eagle Emerald Jörmungandr FN, B/O: $241

Desert Eagle Cobalt Disruption FN, B/O: $81

Desert Eagle Cobalt Disruption FN, B/O: $81

Desert Eagle Cobalt Disruption FN, B/O: $81

Desert Eagle Printstream FT, B/O: $54

⎯

M4A1-S Blue Phosphor FN, B/O: $434

StatTrak™ M4A1-S Bright Water MW, B/O: $55

⎯

M4A4 Poseidon FN, B/O: $1465

M4A4 Asiimov BS, B/O: $55

M4A4 Hellfire MW, B/O: $50

⎯

USP-S Kill Confirmed MW, B/O: $72

USP-S Printstream FT, B/O: $69

StatTrak™ USP-S Kill Confirmed FT, B/O: $139

⎯

AUG Flame Jörmungandr FN, B/O: $234

P90 Run and Hide FT, B/O: $147

Five-SeveN Candy Apple FN, B/O: $61

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Knives - Bowie Knife, Butterfly Knife, Falchion Knife, Flip Knife, Gut Knife, Huntsman Knife, M9 Bayonet, Bayonet, Karambit, Shadow Daggers, Stiletto Knife, Ursus Knife, Navaja Knife, Talon Knife, Classic Knife, Paracord Knife, Survival Knife, Nomad Knife, Skeleton Knife, Patterns - Gamma Doppler, Doppler (Phase 1, Phase 2, Phase 3, Phase 4, Black Pearl, Sapphire, Ruby, Emerald), Crimson Web, Lore, Fade, Ultraviolet, Night, Marble Fade (Fire & Ice, Fake FI), Case Hardened (Blue Gem), Autotronic, Slaughter, Black Laminate, Tiger Tooth, Boreal Forest, Scorched, Blue Steel, Vanilla, Damascus Steel, Forest DDPAT, Urban Masked, Freehand, Stained, Bright Water, Safari Mesh, Rust Coat, Gloves - Bloodhound Gloves (Charred, Snakebite, Guerrilla, Bronzed), Driver Gloves (Snow Leopard, King Snake, Crimson Weave, Imperial Plaid, Black Tie, Lunar Weave, Diamondback, Rezan the Red, Overtake, Queen Jaguar, Convoy, Racing Green), Hand Wraps (Cobalt Skulls, CAUTION!, Overprint, Slaughter, Leather, Giraffe, Badlands, Spruce DDPAT, Arboreal, Constrictor, Desert Shamagh, Duct Tape), Moto Gloves (Spearmint, POW!, Cool Mint, Smoke Out, Finish Line, Polygon, Blood Pressure, Turtle, Boom!, Eclipse, 3rd Commando Company, Transport), Specialist Gloves (Crimson Kimono, Tiger Strike, Emerald Web, Field Agent, Marble Fade, Fade, Foundation, Lt. Commander, Crimson Web, Mogul, Forest DDPAT, Buckshot), Sport Gloves (Pandora's Box, Superconductor, Hedge Maze, Vice, Amphibious, Slingshot, Omega, Arid, Big Game, Nocts, Scarlet Shamagh, Bronze Morph), Hydra Gloves (Case Hardened, Emerald, Rattler, Mangrove), Broken Fang Gloves (Jade, Yellow-banded, Unhinged, Needle Point), Pistols - P2000 (Wicked Sick, Ocean Foam, Fire Element, Amber Fade, Corticera, Chainmail, Imperial Dragon, Obsidian, Scorpion, Handgun, Acid Etched), USP-S (Printstream, Kill Confirmed, Whiteout, Road Rash, Owergrowth, The Traitor, Neo-Noir, Dark Water, Orion, Blueprint, Stainless, Caiman, Serum, Monster Mashup, Royal Blue, Ancient Visions, Cortex, Orange Anolis, Ticket To Hell, Black Lotus, Cyrex, Check Engine, Guardian, Purple DDPAT, Torque, Blood Tiger, Flashback, Business Class, Pathfinder, Para Green), Lead Conduit, Glock-18 (Umbral Rabbit, Fade, Candy Apple, Bullet Queen, Synth Leaf, Neo-Noir, Nuclear Garden, Dragon Tatto, Reactor, Pink DDPAT, Twilight Galaxy, Sand Dune, Groundwater, Blue Fissure, Snack Attack, Water Elemental, Brass, Wasteland Rebel, Vogue, Franklin, Royal Legion, Gamma Doppler, Weasel, Steel Disruption, Ironwork, Grinder, High Beam, Moonrise, Oxide Blaze, Bunsen Burner, Clear Polymer, Bunsen Burner, Night), P250 (Re.built, Nuclear Threat, Modern Hunter, Splash, Whiteout, Vino Primo, Mehndi, Asiimov, Visions, Undertow, Cartel, See Ya Later, Gunsmoke, Splash, Digital Architect, Muertos, Red Rock, Bengal Tiger, Crimson Kimono, Wingshot, Metallic DDPAT, Hive, Dark Filigree, Mint Kimono), Five-Seven (Neon Kimono, Berries And Cherries, Fall Hazard, Crimson Blossom, Hyper Beast, Nitro, Fairy Tale, Case Hardened, Copper Galaxy, Angry Mob, Monkey Business, Fowl Play, Anodized Gunmetal, Hot Shot, Retrobution, Boost Protocol), CZ75-Auto (Chalice, Crimson Web, Emerald Quartz, The Fuschia is Now, Nitro, Xiangliu, Yellow Jacket, Victoria, Poison Dart, Syndicate, Eco, Hexane, Pole, Tigris), Tec-9 (Rebel, Terrace, Nuclear Threat, Hades, Rust Leaf, Decimator, Blast From, Orange Murano, Toxic, Fuel Injector, Remote Control, Bamboo Forest, Isaac, Avalanche, Brother, Re-Entry, Blue Titanium, Bamboozle), R8 Revolver (Banana Cannon, Fade, Blaze, Crimson Web, Liama Cannon, Crazy 8, Reboot, Canal Spray, Night, Amber Fade), Desert Eagle (Blaze, Hand Cannon, Fennec Fox, Sunset Storm, Emerald Jörmungandr, Pilot, Hypnotic, Golden Koi, Printstream, Cobalt Disruption, Code Red, Ocean Drive, Midnight Storm, Kumicho Dragon, Crimson Web, Heirloom, Night Heist, Mecha Industries, Night, Conspiracy, Trigger Discipline, Naga, Directive, Light Rail), Dual Berettas (Flora Carnivora, Duelist, Cobra Strike, Black Limba, Emerald, Hemoglobin, Twin Turbo, Marina, Melondrama, Pyre, Retribution, Briar, Dezastre, Royal Consorts, Urban Shock, Dualing Dragons, Panther, Balance), Rifles - Galil (Aqua Terrace, Winter Forest, Chatterbox, Sugar Rush, Pheonix Blacklight, CAUTION!, Orange DDPAT, Cerberus, Dusk Ruins, Eco, Chromatic Aberration, Stone Cold, Tuxedo, Sandstorm, Shattered, Urban Rubble, Rocket Pop, Kami, Crimson Tsunami, Connexion), SCAR-20 (Fragments, Brass, Cyrex, Palm, Splash Jam, Cardiac, Emerald, Crimson Web, Magna Carta, Stone Mosaico, Bloodsport, Enforcer), AWP (Duality, Gungnir, Dragon Lore, Prince, Medusa, Desert Hydra, Fade, Lightning Strike, Oni Taiji, Silk Tiger, Graphite, Chromatic Aberration, Asiimov, Snake Camo, Boom, Containment Breach, Wildfire, Redline, Electric Hive, Hyper Beast, Neo-Noir, Man-o'-war, Pink DDPAT, Corticera, Sun in Leo, Elite Build, Fever Dream, Atheris, Mortis, PAW, Exoskeleton, Worm God, POP AWP, Phobos, Acheron, Pit Viper, Capillary, Safari Mesh), AK-47 (Head Shot, Wild Lotus, Gold Arabesque, X-Ray, Fire Serpent, Hydroponic, Panthera Onca, Case Hardened, Vulcan, Jet Set, Fuel Injector, Bloodsport, Nightwish, First Class, Neon Rider, Asiimov, Red Laminate, Aquamarine Revenge, The Empress, Wasteland Rebel, Jaguar, Black Laminate, Leet Museo, Neon Revolution, Redline, Frontside Misty, Predator, Legion of Anubis, Point Disarray, Orbit Mk01, Blue Laminate, Green Laminate, Emerald Pinstripe, Cartel, Phantom Disruptor, Jungle Spray, Safety Net, Rat Rod, Baroque Purple, Slate, Elite Build, Uncharted, Safari Mesh), FAMAS (Sundown, Prime Conspiracy, Afterimage, Commemoration, Dark Water, Spitfire, Pulse, Eye of Athena, Meltdown, Rapid Eye Move, Roll Cage, Styx, Mecha Industrie, Djinn, ZX Spectron, Valence, Neural Net, Night Borre, Hexne), M4A4 (Temukau, Howl, Poseidon, Asiimov, Daybreak, Hellfire, Zirka, Red DDPAT, Radiation Hazard, Modern Hunter, The Emperor, The Coalition, Bullet Rain, Cyber Security, X-Ray, Dark Blossom, Buzz Kill, In Living Color, Neo-Noir, Desolate Space, 龍王 (Dragon King), Royal Paladin, The Battlestar, Global Offensive, Tooth Fairy, Desert-Strike, Griffin, Evil Daimyo, Spider Lily, Converter), M4A1-S (Emphorosaur-S, Welcome to the Jungle, Imminent Danger, Knight, Hot Rod, Icarus Fell, Blue Phosphor, Printstream, Master Piece, Dark Water, Golden Coil, Bright Water, Player Two, Atomic Alloy, Guardian, Chantico's Fire, Hyper Beast, Mecha Industries, Cyrex, Control Panel, Moss Quartz, Nightmare, Decimator, Leaded Glass, Basilisk, Blood Tiger, Briefing, Night Terror, Nitro, VariCamo, Flashback), SG 553 (Cyberforce, Hazard Pay, Bulldozer, Integrale, Dragon Tech, Ultraviolet, Colony IV, Hypnotic, Cyrex, Candy Apple, Barricade, Pulse), SSG 08 (Death Strike, Sea Calico, Blood in the Water, Orange Filigree, Dragonfire, Big Iron, Bloodshot, Detour, Turbo Peek, Red Stone), AUG (Akihabara Accept, Flame Jörmungandr, Hot Rod, Midnight Lily, Sand Storm, Carved Jade, Wings, Anodized Navy, Death by Puppy, Torque, Bengal Tiger, Chameleon, Fleet Flock, Random Access, Momentum, Syd Mead, Stymphalian, Arctic Wolf, Aristocrat, Navy Murano), G3SG1 (Chronos, Violet Murano, Flux, Demeter, Orange Kimono, The Executioner, Green Apple, Arctic Polar Camo, Contractor), SMGs - P90 (Neoqueen, Astral Jörmungandr, Run and Hide, Emerald Dragon, Cold Blooded, Death by Kitty, Baroque Red, Vent Rush, Blind Spot, Asiimov, Trigon, Sunset Lily, Death Grip, Leather, Nostalgia, Fallout Warning, Tiger Pit, Schermatic, Virus, Shapewood, Glacier Mesh, Shallow Grave, Chopper, Desert Warfare), MAC-10 (Sakkaku, Hot Snakes, Copper Borre, Red Filigree, Gold Brick, Graven, Case Hardened, Stalker, Amber Fade, Neon Rider, Tatter, Curse, Propaganda, Nuclear Garden, Disco Tech, Toybox, Heat, Indigo), UMP-45 (Wild Child, Fade, Blaze, Day Lily, Minotaur's Labyrinth, Crime Scene, Caramel, Bone Pile, Momentum, Primal Saber), MP7 (Teal Blossom, Fade, Nemesis, Whiteout, Asterion, Bloosport, Abyssal Apparition, Full Stop, Special Delivery, Neon Ply, Asterion, Ocean Foam, Powercore, Scorched, Impire), PP-Bizon (Modern Hunter, Rust Coat, Forest Leaves, Antique, High Roller, Blue Streak, Seabird, Judgement of Anubis, Bamboo Print, Embargo, Chemical Green, Coblat Halftone, Fuel Rod, Photic Zone, Irradiated Alert, Carbon Fiber), MP9 (Featherweight, Wild Lily, Pandora's Box, Stained Glass, Bulldozer, Dark Age, Hot Rod, Hypnotic, Hydra, Rose Iron, Music Box, Setting Sun, Food Chain, Airlock, Mount Fuji, Starlight Protector, Ruby Poison Dart, Deadly Poison), MP5-SD (Liquidation, Oxide Oasis, Phosphor, Nitro, Agent, Autumn Twilly), Shotguns, Machineguns - Sawed-Off (Kiss♥Love, First Class, Orange DDPAT, Rust Coat, The Kraken, Devourer, Mosaico, Wasteland Princess, Bamboo Shadow, Copper, Serenity, Limelight, Apocalypto), XM1014 (Frost Borre, Ancient Lore, Red Leather, Elegant Vines, Banana Leaf, Jungle, Urban Perforated, Grassland, Blaze Orange, Heaven Guard, VariCamo Blue, Entombed, XOXO, Seasons, Tranquility, Bone Machine, Incinegator, Teclu Burner, Black Tie, Zombie Offensive, Watchdog), Nova (Baroque Orange, Hyper Beast, Green Apple, Antique, Modern Hunter, Walnut, Forest Leaves, Graphite, Blaze Orange, Rising Skull, Tempest, Bloomstick, Interlock, Quick Sand, Moon in Libra, Clean Polymer, Red Quartz, Toy Soldier), MAG-7 (Insomnia, Cinqueda, Counter Terrace, Prism Terrace, Memento, Chainmail, Hazard, Justice, Bulldozer, Silver, Core Breach, Firestarter, Praetorian, Heat, Hard Water, Monster Call, BI83 Spectrum, SWAG-7), M249 (Humidor, Shipping Forecast, Blizzard Marbleized, Downtown, Jungle DDPAT, Nebula Crusader, Impact Drill, Emerald Poison Dart), Negev (Mjölnir, Anodized Navy, Palm, Power Loader, Bratatat, CaliCamo, Phoenix Stencil, Infrastructure, Boroque Sand), Wear - 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If I sacrifice the bottom three creatures in that order, would I end up with 3x Teysa, 5x Drivnod and 9x Doomed Dissenter and 8x 2/2 Zombies?

So recently, with a friend, we had a lot of success winning on close map with an all in strat with éthiopian and couman. We both stop producing villager in feudal (after all the food spend). I go for an ethiopian tathi rush, with 3 archery constantly producing FU feudal archer, and he go for a ram+pike comp to push the ennemy TC.
We usually click feudal with 18/19 pop
We had a lot of success with this strat. Usually, we can handle the first opponent easily, we only went to feudal (FC strat) and the other has the choice between letting his allies die (or almost die) and go FC, or help him defend and then usually, we go castlle before them, transitionning our villagers in food when the ball of archer pikes and ram is huge enought.
Usually, the best opponent response is to go FC into knight, but the advantge of closed map is that we can then stonewall and go castlle too. He then have some advance on us, but his allied is not gobna be able to recover before a really long time (if he didn't already surrender).
What are the weakness of this strat in amazone tunnel and black forest? How to improve it and how to counter it?

Part 1
"You're right," I said. "I hate it."
"You got a better idea?" Inanna asked. I shook my head. "No, and no time, either, let's go."
"Dude, you need like, a sergeant or something. I got you," the man said as he and his girlfriend or wife followed us back to the lounge.
"What kind of leadership experience do you have?" Inanna asked him.
"Uh, nothing like your husband," he admitted. I couldn't help but smirk. "Good, you've got the job," I said.
"What?" he asked.
"I know how the show portrays things, but in reality, Jerry's less of a leader and more a guy who's just kinda good at planning and really well liked. He's actually more of a lone wolf, really."
He looked at his girlfriend, who looked back. Both of them looked worried. I didn't blame them one bit.
"Okay," Inanna said as we reached the door. "This is on you, babe. Maybe turn your aura on a bit, and give your voice some extra volume."
I felt my cheeks burning. This was even worse than going on stage a few hours ago. At least then, there was some structure, and I had Inanna with me to take some of the attention.
I opened the lounge door and stepped in, the others hot on my heels. I stared at the crowd and felt my heart begin to flutter. Everyone here could die if I failed. So no pressure.
I followed Inanna's advice and let my natural aura slip a little loose. I could feel the weight of the woman's gaze change as it reached her. A second later, a few people, mostly women, nearest to us turned to eye me.
Inanna took my arm in her hand. "Remember, you want to be a little bit arrogant, babe. You don't have to be a dick about it, you just have to be straightforward. Acknowledge who you are and what you've done. Speak straight to them, and above all, act as confident as you can. Maybe work up a little righteous indignation. You're always a lot more confident when you're angry."
I nodded, accepting her advice. I put a little magic into my voice and cleared my throat. The sound was loud, but only a few people noticed in the din inside. People continued to talk and speculate and cry all over the room.
"Excuse me," I said. Nobody really paid me any mind. "Can I have your attention, please?" I asked. Still, nobody noticed. I glanced at Inanna, who shook her heard slightly. I decided to take a different approach and channeled Gary.
"EVERYBODY LISTEN UP!" I shouted, goosing the magic on my voice a bit. My words carried through the large room and a silence fell as all eyes turned to me.
"Okay, that's better," I said. I began to pace back and forth, hands on my hips, trying to strike a confident-looking figure. I was probably failing.
"Most of you probably recognize me from the talk just now. For anyone who doesn't, my name is Jerry Williams. I'm the man whom the character of Jimmy Waters in the television show The Legend of Jimmy is based on. Not everything in the show is accurate, but the broad strokes are.
"I killed Astoram. I led the takedown of the Cult of Blood. I led the way in the fight against the primordials, and I was the one who killed Sarisa and saved the Sixteenth World. Those parts are all true."
A ragged cheer went up from the crowd, which made me blush again. This was not an appropriate time to cheer.
"As you all know," I continued once I thought they'd be able to make out my words again. "This ship is under attack. For those who didn't see it, it's a kraken. As it turns out, they're much bigger in real life than Hollywood ever prepared us for. The kraken is hunting, and it plans to eat us-" A collective gasp rose from the crowd, but I pushed on.
"It plans to. But it's an animal, and I'm a human being, so I'll put my plans against its, any day. But to make my plan work, I need everybody who can to help. As many people as possible. I can't kill or drive this thing off myself, at least not without sinking the ship in the process. But with your help, we can fight this thing off.
"My wife here is going to be producing some weapons. What I need is for everyone who can swing a sword or shoot a rifle to make an orderly line right here and get your weapon. We don't have a lot of time, folks, so it's important that you remain calm and orderly. An old maxim of combat is 'Slow is smooth, smooth is fast,'. We'll finish much faster by remaining orderly than by rushing. So please, start lining up now. Together, we can fight this thing. We can drive it back into the depths, and go home with a story to tell our families."
This time, the cheer was overwhelming. It startled me with its ferocity. Despite my admonition, almost every young man and quite a few middle-aged men, along with a surprising number of women of all ages surged forward, eager to be the first volunteers.
Inanna rushed over to push a couple of square tables together, along with the couple from outside. They got them laid out and got behind them just in time. I had never understood why Inanna kept an entire arsenal of weapons in hammerspace until then. I'd told her many times that there was no way she could use hundreds of slightly-enchanted swords or almost a thousand gen-1 through gen-3 assault rifles and a similar number of handguns she regularly collected from the DCM group in lieu of retiring them (depending on the exact sub-generation, they couldn't always be upgraded to the latest standards of enchantment). But now I understood. She'd been preparing for a day like today.
I wondered idly why it was that people felt the need to look to me as the hero, when really, Inanna was the one they wanted. She was smarter, more experienced, and a better leader than me, no doubt. But she seemed content to be an intimidating figure standing at my side.
I was jealous.
Inanna began producing weapons and handing them out. She didn't let the volunteers choose their weapon, but assigned them as she saw fit. She had quite the variety of weapons, too. Shorter folks got polearms, mostly large Dane axes with six-foot hafts. Larger folks got swords, either knightly sword or viking swords, but the largest folks got longswords and -in the case of a six-foot three woman with broad shoulders- a zweihander, not unlike Inanna's own blade.
The guns were also distributed to anyone who professed any military or other shooting experience. These, she passed out purely by request, asking if they'd prefer a rifle or handgun. I was initially surprised at the number who chose a handgun, until I remembered that a lot of people would have experience shooting those at gun ranges and in large, rural back yards. She quickly got the couple involved, so they could serve three people at a time. With each interaction taking only four or five seconds, we were arming several dozen people a minute to start with. Inanna was even smarter than I originally thought, though, and she began hauling out weapons by the armful and dumping them off, grabbing the occasional newly-armed volunteer and pulling them behind their impromptu counter to help assign weapons.
Soon, she was off the line entirely, letting the others do the assigning as she continued to add to a pile of swords and a pile of guns. A dozen people stood behind the table two minutes in, each one assigning a dozen weapons a minute.
The ship shook three more times as we passed everything out. I had each person join me outside after they'd retrieved their weapon. A few of the people with guns took potshots at the giant tentacles, but I had them lower their weapons. For this to work, we all had to attack at once. We needed to surprise the beast with pain.
Finally, Inanna joined me outside, letting me know she was there by slipping a hand between my legs to fondle me. I turned to face her and planted a kiss on her forehead. "You ready?" I asked.
"To be the first to ever fight off a kraken?" she asked with a laugh. "Fuck yeah."
I nodded and added more magic to my voice.
"Okay, listen up! I need to group you up into units! I need a hundred people per unit, that's about one for each of the eight tentacles-" I was interrupted by one of the ship's massive smoke stacks being ripped free by one of the tightening tentacles. As soon as it finished collapsing, I continued.
"Start grouping up now! We don't have a lot of time!"
The man -I still hadn't caught his name- from the couple who'd been helping us rushed forward and began grabbing people, assigning them the task of leading units. Huh, that was quite inspired. Maybe he should be leading.... I glanced over to see Inanna giving me a slight shake of the head, having figured out what I was just thinking. I shrugged and looked back to the crowd, which was now showing some divisions as people clumped up. I waited a few more seconds for the scattered people still not in a group to get into one before I continued.
"Okay, You guys are team one," I said. "Head all the way aft, to the very last tentacle. Start attacking as soon as you hear the rest of us shooting. The folks with swords will chop the bottoms of the tentacles, the folks with guns will shoot the tops. Try to get your people into the best positions to do the most damage possible. Go."
The group turned and began to jog aft.
"Okay," I said, gesturing to another group. "You're team two. Same instructions, just pick the next tentacle up. Go."
The other teams began to follow, not needing any more instruction.
"How much time do we give them?" I asked Inanna.
"Three minutes," she said without hesitation. I nodded, as that sounded about right. Still, it was going to be a long three minutes. The ship continued to creak and groan from the strain of the tightening tentacles.
"This is gonna be close," the woman said. I took my chance. "Hey, what's your name?" I asked.
"I'm Charlize, and my brother is Jason," she said.
"Your brother? Oh, I thought you two were, uh..." I stammered. She flashed me a grin. "We're from Alabama, but not that part of the state."
"I uh, just didn't expect a... A brother and sister to take a cruise... I mean... Ugh. Sorry. It's fine, apologies if I offended you."
The woman looked at Inanna, an eyebrow quirked. Inanna nodded. "Always. It's a part of his charm."
I watched the last team get into position near the closest tentacle. "Okay," I said. "Let's join them."
We all ran over. I decided to use my sword, summoning Godslayer from hammerspace. As the blade appeared in my hand, the magic caused everyone around me to turn and look. The shimmering air around the blade raised a lot of eyebrows.
"Wow, I can feel that thing," one woman muttered.
"I've been layering enchantments on it for years," I explained.
"Did you name it? All cool swords need a name," a younger guy who looked to be a fellow after my own (nerdy) heart asked. I pursed my lips and balked at the ridiculous question.
"Of course," I said. "This is Godslayer."
"Holy shit!" he said, his eyes widening. A few others turned to check it out.
"Yes, this is the sword I killed Sarisa with. I also took Tysrane's hand with it, but that's... I'm not exactly proud of that," I said.
"Bet Tysrane isn't, either," the nerdy guy said. The woman who'd first spoken looked at him and said, "Bet Tysrane makes a point of not pissing off Jim- er, Jerry."
"Fuck yeah," the nerdy guy mumbled. I blushed.
"Is everyone ready?" I asked loudly. A ragged chorus of agreements greeted me. I realized I should be more inspiring, so I tried again, adding the magic back to my voice.
"Are we all ready to show this thing what happens when it messes with us?!" I shouted. A harsh cheer erupted.
"Lets go, then!" I yelled at the top of my lungs and rushed forward to the giant mass of glistening flesh before me. Gunfire erupted behind me as me and dozens of others began slashing into the tentacle.
As the assault picked up in pace, a new sound emerged. It started as the crackle of broken parts of the ship's superstructure, the tentacles writhing in response to the sudden pain. But it changed into a gurgling roar that grew louder and louder.
Suddenly, the roar grew more hoarse and I glanced aside to see a massive shape rising behind the structure to my left. Using a bit of magic, I jumped onto the roof and rushed to the edge.
The kraken's body had broken the surface. I could see where the tentacles joined the body, and in between them, the beast's mouth. It didn't have a beak like an octopus or a squid, but a massive, gaping maw full of sharp, pointy teeth. As the mouth rose above the water, the sound grew deafening, drowning out even the gunfire.
I stared at the thing as the mouth closed and sort of drew back into the body, the roar dying out. With a sudden loud hissing sound, the mouth shot back out, almost like a goblin shark's jaws, opening wide and releasing an enormous spray of a steaming black liquid.
The fluid splashed over the ship, smoking and bubbling where it landed. A few people were splattered with it, and each and every one of them screamed and began to try to wipe the sticky substance off themselves.
"Get them to the pools!" I shouted. "Get the injured to the pools!" A few people heard me and I watched as one burly older gentleman grabbed a flailing young lady, tossed her over his shoulder, and rushed to the pool. He splattered himself with the fluid, which bubbled and smoked as it struck him, but he paid it no mind. When he reached the pool, he jumped in with the woman, and I saw him drag her under and start stripping her clothes. More bodies splashed into the pool, and I nodded in approval. Taking off whatever clothing was soaked in the stuff was a good idea.
I turned back to see the beast sucking its jaw back in again. This was no good. It had already knocked about one in ten people off the line, either suffering from whatever kind of acid this was, or helping those so afflicted. If it kept this up, it would stop us.
That's when I realized that my first plan was viable now. Its body was out of the water. I could target it, right now, and end this.
I rose into the air, charging my strike. I dismissed Godslayer and, having learned from my efforts against the primordials, dismissed my clothes as well. I really liked that T-shirt.
I flew up and away from the beast, reaching a point about two hundred yards away from the ship. I could see the ends of tentacles in the water below me, really speaking to the size of the creature, as those tentacles were currently still wrapped around the ship.
I closed my eyes and prayed. "Please let go, please let go." I opened my eyes back up and waited.
The beast spat more acid onto the deck, but it had already splattered the people nearest to its mouth, and those near to them had helped. Only a few people caught some of the acid, and a few more stopped to help them get in the water.
The beast was thrashing now. I could see the ship rocking back and forth, and the tentacles were coming loose and tightening down. I watched, waiting for my chance.
Finally, blessedly, it happened. Six of the tentacles lifted up, the ends slipping out of the water. They were no longer grasping the ship, having pulled back to end the pain our ragtag army was inflicting.
I drew in as much power as I could manage and shot forward, my shield forming a shell around me.
----
Charlize Mayberry, Totally Not Fucking Her Brother, Jesus Christ, They're Just Best Friends, I Mean, it's Her Brother For Crying Out Loud
Charlize watched as Jerry made the inhuman jump to the structure to her left to survey the battle. She could see the kraken's body, and she could see Jerry's shoulders and head as he regarded it.
He looked even more impressive than his counterpart in the show. Magic that she could see and feel surrounded him, making him crackle with strange colors she couldn't give name to. His sword shimmered, the blade a thing of immense gravity, drawing the eye to it. His shoulders were firmly set, and even from behind, she could sense the grim determination. She remembered a scene from the show, where Karen had watched him and whispered "Angel of Death," and she decided right then and there that that scene had actually happened.
When the kraken spat some kind of burning black bile over everyone, she heard him shouting, as if he'd been prepared for this. She found a man screaming to her right, trying to get the stuff off his face. "Come on!" she yelled, grabbing one of his hands and rushing him to the pool. By the time she got there, the water was gray and muddy, and partially or entirely naked people with serious-looking burns were climbing back out. She shoved the guy in, watching him go under. A few seconds later, he emerged, scrubbing at his face.
"Oh god, oh god, oh god... Thank you," he said, his eyes still squeezed shut. She could see the wound on his cheek where the acid had eaten into the skin, but he had managed to rinse most of it away.
"Come on," she called, "Get out." He blinked his eyes open, then swam to the edge. More people were coming in, and she worried that the pool water might get saturated with enough of the acid to become acidic, itself.
Charlize helped the man out of the pool, then turned to look back down the ship. The tentacles were rising, one after another, trying to escape the pain of gripping the vessel. Those armed with guns continued to fire, pouring lead into the savaged appendages as those with melee weapons caught their breaths.
She watched as all but two of the tentacle lifted off the ship. Hope swelled in her breast and she glanced over at a burly, older man with no shirt on, leaning on his knees and catching his breath, next to a younger woman in nothing but a pair of panties, laying on the deck with burns all over her legs and torso.
The man caught her gaze and flashed her a grim smile. "Almost," he said. Charlize nodded and raised her rifle, shooting at the distant tentacles that remained attached to the ship.
She had only fired once or twice when the entire ship shuddered and a deafening crack caused her to look up. She saw a golden streak flash into and through the beast's body, which was more clearly seen from her current position on the pool deck.
The kraken simply exploded.
Chunks of wet, slippery flesh flew outward with enough force to bowl over anyone they struck and leave dents in the metal sides of the ship. The two remaining tentacles on the ship let go, pulling back under the water as the six in the air flopped down, sending a cleansing wave of seawater over the deck.
The water ran red with the kraken's blood as it swept over the sides, carrying chunks of monster and a few people who'd been caught off guard with it. Charlize grabbed one guy and helped him catch his footing before the flow subsides.
She straightened up and looked over to where the dead beast was sinking beneath the surface. A gold-glowing figure emerged from the water, and Charlize recognized Jerry.
He was naked. His body was hard and tightly muscled, but lean and agile-looking. His skin glowed with a golden light, and she could see red lightning playing about his skin as he rose into the air and then glided over to the ship and sat back down.
The crowd, who had begun cheering at the beast's death, fell into a hush of awe as the all turned to the glowing figure. He exuded power, commanding every eye to look at him. His feet settled down on the deck and he walked forward.
With a sudden rush of heat in her cheeks, Charlize realized that he was rocking an enormous hard-on. Like, impressively big. If she'd seen one like that in a porno, she'd have assumed it was CGI or a prosthetic. If she'd been able to think straight, she'd probably have found it a little ridiculous.
He walked past her, turning his head and clasping her shoulder. "Thank you," he said with a smile. Her knees went weak as his touch and she began to reflect upon the fact that, at least in the show, Ishtar loved to bring women home for herself and Jimmy.
She watched him thank everyone he passed, until he finally found his wife. They embraced, and then a few seconds later, they vanished.
Charlize caught her breath and let her heartbeat slow down. A woman approached her, and she recognized her as the last person whose question Jerry had declined to answer during the talk.
"Do you know where there cabin is?" she asked. Charlize shook her head. Another woman approached, holding hands with an effeminate-looking man carrying a handgun. "They're in the Princess Suite, it's in the big stack up fore," she said with a gesture.
"I'm gonna go see if they're there," the first woman said breathlessly. The couple nodded, and all three of them took off. Jason put his hand on her shoulder and she looked at him.
"I'm, uh..." Charlize said, making up her mind right then and there. "I'm gonna go do something. I'll be around in a bit."
She hurried inside, found an elevator to ride to the top floor and the hurried down until she saw the door labeled "Princess Suite". She knocked on it.
A second later, the door was opened by a naked woman that Charlize didn't recognize. Looking past her, she could see a tangle of limbs. Moans and gasps already filled the air.
The woman stepped aside as Charlize stepped in and immediately began tugging at her shirt.
----
Jerry Williams, Just Wants a Quiet Vacation For Once In His Life
The next morning, I sat on a deck chair on the upper observation deck as the ship pulled into port for repairs. We'd all been given vouchers for a new cruise, as compensation for the one cut short by the attack. The captain of the ship had come to personally thank me for rallying the defense. Unfortunately, she'd done this during the orgy Inanna had organized right after the attack, and it had taken the bridge crew over an hour to locate her when she failed to return.
I winced, thinking about that.
Inanna had turned her chair to face mine and had her legs on my lap. A few other people were also laid out with us. Mostly women, but a few men as well. All of us had come up here from my cabin. All of us were naked, and though this wasn't a nudist cruise, nobody seemed inclined to complain. The staff had recognized Inanna and I, and we were being waited on hand and foot.
I took a sip of my champagne and rubbed Inanna's shin.
"See?" she said. I glanced over to see the sun glistening off the light sheen of sweat coating her dusky skin. God, she was so beautiful.
"It wasn't so hard, was it?"
"I'm still not so sure I'm cut out to be a leader. And I'm still not convinced that the risk of me turning in the asshole from my visions is past," I said.
"Bah," she replied dismissively. "You are a leader, whether you like it or not. You're a hero, like it or not. I know you wouldn't have chosen this position, but it's been chosen for you, and the best thing you could do is be the best damn hero you can be."
I thought about that for a minute, and honestly, I couldn't argue the point. Maybe she was right, and I should do a bit more in terms of being a good hero, instead of just keeping my head down and trying to help where I could.
"Besides," she continued a moment later. "Emperor Gerald had sixty years of Sarisa whispering in his ear to get that way. You've got me. I'll keep you on the straight and girthy."
I laughed. "Straight and narrow," I corrected.
"It's anything but narrow," she replied mildly. "Although, now that I think about it, I prefer when I'm the one on the straight and girthy." She reached down to grab my hand and pull it up to her pubic hair. I gave it a little tug, then ran my fingers along the stretch marks at the base of her belly. Those were possibly the sexiest part of her whole body, and even the least sexy part of her was jaw-dropping. She opened an eye to frown at me, until her gaze roamed down and noticed the effect that touching them was having on a different part of me. Her feet shifted over to that part and I felt that old familiar thrill as she touched me. It was just as intense this time as it had been the first time.
"Ready for another?" she asked.
"I think we should relax for a bit," I said. Inanna smirked and her eyes focused past me. "They don't," she said. I glanced behind to see two of the women from the orgy walking over.
"You forgot to turn your aura off, love," she said as she set up and moved to sit on my lap.
"Here we go again," I groaned as hands and lips began to touch me.
Don't tell anyone, but in all candor, this was the part of being a hero I enjoyed the most.

20+ yr old looking for rp partners. I want to RP with someone who is 18+. Looking to do double up pairings and whatnot.
Hello everyone! I'm a literate 20-something year old looking for new partners! I've been RPing for the better part of a decade to pass the time.
I'm not replacing any of my current partners, just likely looking for different fandoms. I'm interested in doubling up, where often we do two pairings of canon x oc, though I'm open to anything for your half.
Here is what I can do:
* Literate, write several paragraphs for the RP. * Double up (canon x oc is usually what I do). * Any gender pairings, (mxm, fxf, mxf) it's all fine with me. I'm LGBQTA+ friendly. * Active, always striving to communicate with my partner. I reply consistently.
What I am looking for:
* Someone willing to double up (canon x oc is my favorite, I don't do oc x oc usually). * Someone 18+ as I'm in my 20s. Seeking currently: *Arcadia of My Youth // Harlock shows * Beastars *Black Jack (Tezuka) *Castlevania *Cyborg 009 *Giant Robo OVA *Gundam: 08th MS Team *Gundam: Char's Counter Attack *Gundam: Mobile Fighter G *Gundam: Mobile Suit Gundam ('79) *Gundam: War in the Pocket *Gundam: Zeta *Gundam: Zeta Z *Wolf's Rain *Zoids
Note: I've not seen Gundam Witch From Mercury. If you are interested feel free to send me a DM where we can discuss more!

Last night I had a dream that Tally Hall was getting back together, and everyone was meeting in this weird underground cinderblock wall space? Almost everyone was there, but Zubin was missing. Then, some random guy came in to fill in for him, but everyone was glaring at the random guy.
Then, it just... transported us to the stage. (And Zubin was back). When they started playing a song, people started going on their phones and upvoting or down voting the song. It was shown on a TV on the stage and in the back, where the band could see it. (and I was on stage, too? Like, in the front, sitting on this weird stool.) Once the song ended, there were something like 546 up votes, and then Pat Sajak, the frickin' WHEEL OF FORTUNE host, came onto the stage and said, "congratulations! Your song will now be streamed on Hulu!" And the Hulu logo was shown on the TVs.
Then I looked over, and the Minecraft streamer guy, Ranboo, was being held hostage on a swivel chair, tied up with rope and the cords to all of the instruments. Someone's child came and stamped on his feet??
I was woken up after this, but I am still so confused.
Thank you for reading this odd dream.

Honestly, tekken balancing team is a bunch of ape.
The fact it tooks that long to tone down leroy.
The fact that they turn a blind eye from Julia and Marduk.
The fact that Black Lash Hworang are untouchable until t8.
Yet, they still manage to nerf LIDIA HARDER annoys me so much.
And don't forget those 2D fighter, i oopsie, and ur 70-80% health. GONE.
Lidia has been my 2nd main after Drag because i just didn't finds other fighters style too interesting for me. And after what they did to Lidia 5.01, i still play her... because i LIKE the design and stances... But F.............
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Using her right now feels like a CHORE tbh... Compare to other cheesy character like LeRoy, Negan, Kuni, etc. Those fccker have low-set move that DEAL so much damage if it use right with GREAT RANGE. Meanwhile, Lidia got 0 dangerous LOW move which cause the opponent didn't have to give a damn on her low attack.. Just stand up and BACK STEP. Even before this nerf, her playstyle are already so risky.
Her counter hit move ain't cheap, her political storm is OK, her HOP KICK is mediocore at best.
Ppl complaining on political, as if other character does not have their own broken bs move.
Her strength is RECOVERY frame, and most broken move lock behind stances.
Yet, they still nerf ALL of it, down to the ground.
Especially, SS4... like WTF. Is she the only one have side step counter hit launcher??? -_- Others have it too Dawg!!!
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In shorts, when playing Lidia is like carrying her... HARD, which i'm proud when i won the match. But it's so frustrating, when you ate other fighter that have a low launcher counter hit with crazy range, that will do 40%-60% damage strings. That's just ANNOYING.
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I trully hope Lidia in T8 will have some JUSTICE. I don't need her to be BROKEN, i want her to HAVE OPTION! Right now, fighting her is just the most UNTHREATENED character... ever. God, even KAZUMI is far BETTER.