I’m reminded on this day of 28 years of pain and suffering by my parents. 28 years of being let down and no one speaking on my behalf. Years of hard work to just barely make it out of generational poverty. Reminded how I didn’t get to be a kid and was basically a tiny adult managing my parents emotions.
Every year my birthday comes around and my narc family comes out of the woodwork. With Facebook posts of “happy birthday!” Okay? I never see them anymore. My family is filled with drunks and drug addicts. One of them even had the audacity to put in the post “if we don’t see you soon we’ll show up at your door haha!” Kiss my ass.

I'm struggling, he left me after 5 years. He claimed that he wasn't happy anymore and didn't know if the relationship will work, but still claimed that he loved me. (Less than 3 weeks ago he was talking about marriage and proposal) so obviously, I was really taken back and confused about his latest confession, which sent me mentally into a spin.
I found out that he was meeting someone next week who claimed to be his 'friend' and nothing more after accidentally finding all of his booking references on his email account (I was looking through his emails to find the booking reference to our holiday that's in less than 5 weeks 🙃). The kicker to this is that she used to be my friend prior to them talking, she's my mums best-friends daughter. He's paid over £100 treating her to activities that we did for my birthday over the last few years. He had secretly booked the time off work and was going to do this behind my back as I had previously raised concerns that I wasn't comfortable with them meeting on their own. It's gutting because it just makes my happy memories of my birthday turn into really unhappy memories.
I don't know what the future holds but I'm heartbroken. I'm trying to give him all the space he needs and wants. I feel like an idiot and a huge failure for not even spotting the warning signs. I had a whole future planned for us and even though he said those things about marriage and proposal, he also didn't see me in his future.
And the worst thing? Despite everything, I would still give him another chance.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation? And how can I just process things without being a burden to him. I've started writing a journal (cliché I know) but I gone from living with him for over 4 years, to him being a stranger. I have no one to talk to, so speaking to a book is kind of helpful in a way.

To give a little bit of context: I dated this girl for about 1 year, then I broke up with her because things were no longer working between us after she found out that I had been seeing others in the first time we were seeing each other. I was a jerk, I betrayed her trust, and that made the relationship unmanageable because she simply couldn't trust me anymore. Some time passed, I no longer thought about her, meanwhile I was seeing someone else. With the other person it ends and I meet her again by pure chance and talking with her I find out that she fucked a friend of mine (he kept it from me of course) because she wanted to get back at me/annoy me, she did it once and then didn't give in anymore because she regretted it and felt it was sleazy. I don't know if this involved some "stolen ball syndrome" or what, the fact is that after that we got back together and continued dating for about 2 to 3 years. In November 2022 I broke up with her again, struggling immensely and suffering like a dog, because ours had become a relationship with toxic loops that we couldn't get out of. In the following months we saw each other a few more times to make "peace," since she said she hated me etc etc. I continued to feel bad for months, I missed her, but I didn't want to be weak and fall back into her arms. In the meantime I started seeing another person, who was great and treated me very well, but our relationship did not take off precisely because I was still thinking about her.
Around march my best friend (who has been having trouble approaching girls for years, but I won't dwell on that) asked me if he could hit on my ex, since she had sometimes expressed appreciations about him. On first I didn't want to, then I gave him the go-ahead thinking that this would help me get over her.... I was very wrong. A short time later I found out from him that they actually started dating and that he had already dumped her back for a second time because he preferred another girl he was involved with. I never felt so bad in my life, I couldn't sleep from anger, I think because underneath, even though I had given him the green light, I hoped she would never do that to me for the second time. A short time later I found out that he had started seeing her again for a third time, keeping it from me, this caused big fights between him and me. I also went as well to talk to her, and when I asked her why she was doing this to me, her response was that "she wanted to put herself first, now she's happy with him and she didn't care what that meant for me". She had never been so blunt and detached with me, it killed me. Obviously with my friend I ended the friendship for this situation.
A short time later, as soon as I was finally able to get over this thing, my ex best friend writes me that he left her behind for the 3rd time (after a maximum of 1 and a half months of seeing each other, taking into account that in this period he had left her behind twice already), for various reasons. At first I felt immense joy, as they say "the best revenge is the one not perpetrated". In the meantime, she unblocked me on instagram and started watching my stories again etc etc. One evening we met by chance and we ended up talking for hours and all the affection I remembered was still there. We still had a strong connection, we touched hands, we say sorry to each other for all the suffering we caused one to another, I was so happy, so in peace. In the following days I was in a big pink sphere for what had happened, but at the same time I closed the relationship with the other person who I was seeing, since it didn't seem right to continue seeing each other if I was still thinking about my ex.
To conclude the other day I wrote to her to congratulate about her graduation, telling her that I would have liked to be there, she replied very coldly, when I asked her why she replied that she does not understand what I want to achieve by saying something like this . The reality is that I would just like a signal from her, something that confirms that he still thinks about me, I don't know. I texted her this and today she answered me saying that she is sorry for how I feel, but she cant do anything to help me. I dont understand how we passed from 2 weeks ago with a lot of affection and care, and now she is back to the cold manners, but probably I deserve this treatment.
In light of all this, I really can't understand if what I feel is true and sincere or if it's just the result of all the suffering of these last few months, if I just want to reassert my control over her, if I'm just being a selfish shit or if I really miss her. Emotionally Im convinced that what im proving is real and I feel ready to give all of me for this relationship, but of course I cant be sure and Im worried to wound her again, to wound again both of us.
I don't know what to do, I just want to go back and fight for our relationship, don't let her go, but I know that the correct rational choice is to just let her go and dont insist anymore.
I feel like shit.

~ catch the rain even on a sunny day ~
Whenever I think about going into finding "that" person, sometimes, minsan di ko rin alam exactly what I'm looking for. In some days, I get filled with so much excitement and emotion and really want to tell someone about it. In other days, gusto kong may mapagkwentuhan kung gaano kasarap yung kinain ko for lunch. There are days when I want to share to you how much I love this particular song and all the emotions I'm feeling inside. Meanwhile, there are the days that can seem boring and stagnant. There are days when I come home from school feeling empty because I'm drained and my messaging apps are dry. There are days when I feel na ubos na energy ko because of acads and just wanna maybe hop on a call with someone chit-chat here and there because I'm writing my thesis. But regardless, it would be nice to have someone who'll be there for you, right? Most of the time, I'm this type who's madaldal kapag may energy and really just want to genuinely look out for someone. I'd like to be that someone to remind you to stay safe sa pagcommute mo. I'd love to get to know you more and learn from you as you tell about that niche knowledge you have about a certain topic. I'd listen to that something that made you feel happy today. I'll greet you good mornings and remind you to stay safe for the day while later on, I'll ask how your day went and I'll say a good night. I'd like for us to talk about anything, everything, and sometimes even the most mundane of things. I think that's it, someone who's... there.
When I say someone who's "there", I don't mean it something lightly but it's more of someone being there who understands you - a special person who can empathize with you and tell you it's going to be okay. To be honest, nakakamiss kiligin hahaha. As someone na who doesn't fit the conventionally attractive standards of the internet, it gets tough sa mga ganito kaya I'm taking my shot here. I think isa sa mga main driving factors which made me do this is because lately, I've been feeling too overwhelmed with a lot of stuff. I feel like things are going so fast kaya maybe I thought it would be nice to have someone around. I'm a very sentimental and "getting-to-know to a meaningful relationship" kind of guy. Basically, I like to give value to anything and everything that is shared between two people. But I'd like to take things slow and really get the chance to feel the vibe of one another so no pressure in that! I'd like for us to get to know each other deeply, maybe go on dates, and really get to feel the vibe of each other. May nakita ako sa TikTok na quote "treat me as a friend first and someone special second" and I highly resonate with that. I want to be able to establish trust and friendship first. The world is too cruelt and fast-paced already so it would be nice to have our own safe space where we can be honest, vulnerable(?), and... gentle with each other. In short, I'm looking for someone who can be my friend, bff, a special someone, and someone who's just there.
about me: 5'4, normal bmi, average body physique, physically active, big 4 engg student, lives in QC, bunso, i like listening to kpop and opm, big fan of kdramas, dog person, introvert (infj), leo, been described as super chill and an all-around guy, low-maintenance, 🌸, chronically online, oftentimes very busy with acads (hence online setups can be draining for me but i adjust! and can reply fast)
about you: smaller than me (?), no hard preferences on appearance but generally someone who presents themselves well, around my age, no smokers and may mga vices pls (non-negotiable), preferably someone around QC lang din, it'll be very nice if we share similarities!, uhh idk anymore just be a good person! :)
oh and to not waste time and if you like, we can exchange pics agad naman if you'd like, i'm down for that and if we're not each other's type, that's okay. or if you'd like to stay anonymous muna for some time, that'll be okay for me too!

Our dog passed about a year and half ago at a ripe old age. She was a great dog and an excellent family member, including as our kids came along.
We are ready to look at getting a pup. We have kids aged upper primary and a cat. We are pretty lazy/timepoor.
We'd love a dog that is happy to lay around and cuddle or hang out for long periods of time (like when we're working from home or watching TV). Therefore something affectionate that is on the lower end of the spectrum for exercise and grooming needs.
We would like a dog that would enjoy playing with the kids such as chasing a ball or tug of war as well as going for walks, but walks will need to be shorter due to time constraints. It will get cuddled. A lot. So, it should be a dog that will welcome that. Also needs to be able to be left at home without us when we go places that you cannot take a dog.
We have a cat that is not too friendly and a child that is anxious. Therefore, we would prefer a breed that's not too jumpy or barky and is medium or small in size. Also needs to tolerate a cat without giving it any grief.
We live somewhere where temperature fluctuates a lot.
Please give me suggestions as to what breeds we should consider or avoid.

I’ve got to go away for a few weekends this summer and can’t have the dog with me. Anyone got any recommendations for kennels they’ve used that their dogs seemed happy with?

This is the thread to post your:

• Powerlifting accomplishments
• Training PRs
• Gym or diet related victories
• Best flexing photos
• Sweet new equipment purchases
• Gym dog or gym family photos

Or really anything you felt good or happy about from the last week (or even further back in time, no one's gonna stop you).
Text, images, videos, any format goes.
Let's get those good vibes flowing.

I remember that time we slowed danced to the song “once upon a dream” It felt like a fairytail like I had my actual prince charming in my arms. I remember listening to his heartbeat thinking that his heart was all mine. I remember his smile that made me get butterflies instantly. Those were some of the rlly good parts. The bad parts are harder for me to remember almost like my brain doesn’t want too, My brain forgets all the things he put me through. I do remember though that on my birthday trip I went in to sit next to him at a table it had 4 seats one on each side of the table but I moved my chair closer to his because I loved being close to him. He told me “did you have to sit here” or something along those lines. I said its ok I can sit across but he told me “no you are alrdy here its fine”. Apprently it was his social anxiety but I felt like shit. He also just made me feel like I wasn’t ever good enough, Like everything I did was wrong. Despite all that my brain loves remembering the good parts. I feel so alone I miss the jacob that slowed danced in my arms. The one who had a hard time saying goodbye and would get in one more kiss. The one who put his cheek near my mouth and smiles so I could kiss it. But I feel like that person died, now I have an ex who said goodbye easily, one whose probably not as devastated as I am. An ex who took my love for granted as if it never happened. Despite all that, I hope he remembers me but I hope he finds someone who makes him truly happy, that makes him smile with those beautiful eyes and that amazing smile. I still love him even though he wasn’t the right fit.

I already edited my old post to say that he'd passed but I felt like I needed to make a separate post for myself.
He went to sleep at around 12:50 am today at a vet clinic I always go past to get to the city, it was sudden and I wasn't prepared but I don't think I ever would've been prepared. I didn't say goodnight to him before going to bed but then again I never used to, but I felt like I should have because I knew he was going soon. My mother woke me up suddenly a couple of hours after I went to sleep in hysterics crying, telling me that my dog would have to go to sleep that night. What's usually a half an hour's drive took less than that because of how late it was, and how fast my mother was driving, my dad sat in the back with our dog who was whimpering the entire time. I hated that I could hear it but I couldn't bring myself to have both of my earphones in.
We got to the vet too quickly and went in, and she confirmed that it was best to have him put to sleep. She told us he had some sort of lesion or bleed on the brain, and that he didn't know one side of himself existed, which is why he was walking in circles. It also explained why he'd suddenly gone blind and deaf. I got to cuddle him before he went to sleep, but not for very long, and I hardly noticed when he had gone to sleep, my mother was holding him and I couldn't see around her. I didn't get to see his eyes close and I don't know if that's a good thing or not. I was touching his back when he went to sleep, that was the only part I could reach. I got to give him hugs and kisses after he was gone, but it felt wrong that he was so still and wasn't giving me a side eye or trying to wriggle away. I could hardly stand after it, my dad had to hold me up and I was seconds away from having some sort of panic attack, I could hardly breathe. I got to keep a bit of his fur that the vet cut off for me, but it isn't enough, I just want my dog back.
I can't stop crying, my eyes are sore and I have a headache, and I've had to call off work because I can't even distract myself properly. I'm trying to stay positive and be happy, saying that I'm just glad he was with us, and I've been putting up pictures of him on instagram but it isn't enough. I want him back with me, I don't care if I don't see him for half the day, just knowing he isn't downstairs and is being turned to ash somewhere hurts so fucking bad. I wanted to have some of his ashes but my parents refused because it's too expensive and morbid. I don't fucking care if it's morbid, I wanted more than his hair but I'm being forced to accept that it's not healthy or whatever the fuck. I literally don't care, I wanted his ashes, I would've paid for it myself if I could but by now it's probably too late anyway. Just because my mother spent more time with him doesn't mean she should get the whole goddamn overall decision, he was my dog too. I picked him out as a puppy, I named him, I walked him, and he was my brother and best friend. I sound angry but I really don't have the energy, I'm just so exhausted with life right now, I don't want to deal with this bullshit anymore.
So... Yeah, my dog is gone and I just want the pain to be over. I'm happy that he's in a better place, but I wish that better place wasn't so far away.
(repost because I'm stupid)

TL;DR: Sort each table by the expectation (Exp.) column and pick accordingly.

Resources

• I have made a DPC Fantasy Tracker to help you evaluate your results.
• The exponentially weighted averages across each player's 50 most recent tier 1 and 2 pro matches is available in this Google Sheet.

Gold/Silver Card Bonuses

Please refer to this Google Sheet for what to look for for each individual player, or the table below for what to look for for each role in general.
**Table 1:* The percentage of fantasy points earned by each indicator for each role.*

Indicator	Core	Mid	Support
Camps Stacked	6.75	3.47	9.36
Creep Score	7.51	5.67	1.60
Deaths	13.79	12.17	8.17
First Blood	3.04	1.99	3.21
GPM	9.00	7.25	4.63
Kills	12.66	14.43	6.77
Obs Wards	0.76	4.67	30.02
Roshan Kills	2.64	1.72	0.36
Runes Grabbed	6.01	17.01	8.78
Stuns	10.49	11.32	10.39
Teamfight	13.98	13.83	15.01
Tower Kills	13.37	6.47	1.69

NA

**Table 2:* The schedule.*

Team 1	Team 2	Series	Time
Shopify Rebellion	felt	Bo3	2023-05-29 22:00 UTC
SAND KING GÓMEZ	nouns	Bo3	2023-05-30 01:00 UTC
B8	DogChamp	Bo3	2023-05-31 22:00 UTC
SAND KING GÓMEZ	felt	Bo3	2023-06-01 01:00 UTC
felt	ALPHA	Bo3	2023-06-02 22:00 UTC
Shopify Rebellion	nouns	Bo3	2023-06-03 01:00 UTC
Shopify Rebellion	DogChamp	Bo3	2023-06-03 19:00 UTC
SAND KING GÓMEZ	TSM	Bo3	2023-06-03 22:00 UTC
nouns	ALPHA	Bo3	2023-06-04 01:00 UTC
felt	B8	Bo3	2023-06-05 01:00 UTC

**Table 3:* The potential choices for the Core role.*

Player	Team	Series	Avg.	Std.	Exp.
HitinmunE	felt	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	14.83	5.65	38.35
天鸽	Shopify Rebellion	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	15.20	4.95	36.87
Yamsun	nouns	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	14.19	5.87	36.23
StoneBank	B8	Bo3 + Bo3	14.17	6.92	35.30
dnm	DogChamp	Bo3 + Bo3	13.87	5.06	33.00
Moo	nouns	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	12.17	5.21	31.30
Leônidas	SAND KING GÓMEZ	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	12.18	5.53	31.29
Timado	TSM	Bo3	14.09	5.77	30.53
Fayde	felt	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	12.08	3.97	30.28
SaberLight	Shopify Rebellion	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	11.84	3.74	28.57
Speeed	DogChamp	Bo3 + Bo3	11.79	4.17	27.90
ducho0	SAND KING GÓMEZ	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	10.58	4.50	27.22
Funn1k	B8	Bo3 + Bo3	11.41	3.93	26.77
Satoshi-	ALPHA	Bo3 + Bo3	9.37	4.13	22.85
kasane	TSM	Bo3	10.37	4.02	22.38

**Table 4:* The potential choices for the Mid role.*

Player	Team	Series	Avg.	Std.	Exp.
Abed	Shopify Rebellion	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	16.41	4.95	39.22
Gunnar	nouns	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	15.87	4.92	38.32
red2	DogChamp	Bo3 + Bo3	16.11	5.17	37.59
lundd	SAND KING GÓMEZ	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	14.39	5.60	36.31
steel-	ALPHA	Bo3 + Bo3	14.46	6.07	35.12
Dendi	B8	Bo3 + Bo3	13.33	5.12	31.79
Blessed kid	ALPHA	Bo3 + Bo3	12.41	5.82	30.31
Bryle	TSM	Bo3	13.87	4.39	29.53
솔지xx	felt	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	11.33	3.32	27.77

**Table 5:* The potential choices for the Support role.*

Player	Team	Series	Avg.	Std.	Exp.
Tokaya	ALPHA	Bo3 + Bo3	14.81	5.62	35.35
Fly	Shopify Rebellion	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	14.84	4.15	35.10
Kitzz	felt	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	14.00	4.29	34.52
CTOMAHEH1	B8	Bo3 + Bo3	13.90	4.97	32.82
Husky	nouns	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	13.25	3.43	31.08
Lelis	nouns	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	12.40	4.47	30.77
Cr1t-	Shopify Rebellion	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	12.79	3.95	30.74
Bloody Nine	DogChamp	Bo3 + Bo3	12.97	4.23	30.33
Braxie-	ALPHA	Bo3 + Bo3	12.74	4.64	30.19
MoOz	DogChamp	Bo3 + Bo3	13.22	3.07	29.62
Whitemon	TSM	Bo3	14.04	3.36	29.46
albinozebra1	felt	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	11.88	3.49	29.12
Lodine	B8	Bo3 + Bo3	12.08	4.30	28.47
Yanbura	SAND KING GÓMEZ	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	12.25	2.48	27.83
N1ne	SAND KING GÓMEZ	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	11.54	3.41	27.67
Ari	TSM	Bo3	11.49	3.37	24.35

SA

**Table 6:* The schedule.*

Team 1	Team 2	Series	Time
Thunder Awaken	Infinity	Bo3	2023-05-30 20:00 UTC
beastcoast	Balrogs Esports™	Bo3	2023-05-30 23:00 UTC
Thunder Awaken	Hokori	Bo3	2023-06-01 17:00 UTC
Infamous Gaming	Infinity	Bo3	2023-06-01 20:00 UTC
Evil Geniuses	Mad Kings Esports	Bo3	2023-06-01 23:00 UTC
Infamous Gaming	Hokori	Bo3	2023-06-04 17:00 UTC
Mad Kings Esports	Balrogs Esports™	Bo3	2023-06-04 20:00 UTC
beastcoast	Evil Geniuses	Bo3	2023-06-04 23:00 UTC

**Table 7:* The potential choices for the Core role.*

Player	Team	Series	Avg.	Std.	Exp.
Lumière	Hokori	Bo3 + Bo3	16.29	5.70	38.49
DCMC	Balrogs Esports™	Bo3 + Bo3	16.01	5.90	38.08
Knight~	Thunder Awaken	Bo3 + Bo3	16.52	4.69	37.84
mini	Infamous Gaming	Bo3 + Bo3	15.64	5.88	37.33
Adrian <	Infinity	Bo3 + Bo3	15.25	6.33	36.91
DaaD-	Mad Kings Esports	Bo3 + Bo3	14.22	6.36	34.97
Pakazs	Evil Geniuses	Bo3 + Bo3	14.95	5.14	34.93
K1 tqmD	beastcoast	Bo3 + Bo3	14.70	5.07	34.61
ILICH-	Thunder Awaken	Bo3 + Bo3	12.38	3.84	28.67
Wisper	Evil Geniuses	Bo3 + Bo3	11.80	3.12	26.64
ArzenT	Mad Kings Esports	Bo3 + Bo3	10.76	4.49	26.07
hyko	Infamous Gaming	Bo3 + Bo3	11.04	3.76	25.94
Vitaly 誇り	Hokori	Bo3 + Bo3	11.14	3.46	25.86
Devil	Infinity	Bo3 + Bo3	10.75	3.81	25.35
Sacred	beastcoast	Bo3 + Bo3	10.67	3.74	25.22
Arkano	Balrogs Esports™	Bo3 + Bo3	10.50	3.51	24.61

**Table 8:* The potential choices for the Mid role.*

Player	Team	Series	Avg.	Std.	Exp.
DarkMago♡	beastcoast	Bo3 + Bo3	16.97	4.98	39.11
C.smile <	Evil Geniuses	Bo3 + Bo3	16.33	5.12	37.66
Leostyle!	Infinity	Bo3 + Bo3	16.03	4.84	36.96
PiPi	Mad Kings Esports	Bo3 + Bo3	15.35	3.99	34.79
4dr <3 Déia	Infamous Gaming	Bo3 + Bo3	15.00	4.83	34.76
Alone <	Hokori	Bo3 + Bo3	14.10	5.48	33.73
Ñengo	Balrogs Esports™	Bo3 + Bo3	14.49	4.56	33.66
SLATEM$	Thunder Awaken	Bo3 + Bo3	14.52	4.13	33.31

**Table 9:* The potential choices for the Support role.*

Player	Team	Series	Avg.	Std.	Exp.
grpx1 <01	Infamous Gaming	Bo3 + Bo3	15.52	4.76	35.94
Kiri <	Infinity	Bo3 + Bo3	15.92	3.71	35.58
RedMonster	Mad Kings Esports	Bo3 + Bo3	13.86	4.94	32.73
Gardιck 鬼	Hokori	Bo3 + Bo3	14.28	3.16	31.83
Shaka	Balrogs Esports™	Bo3 + Bo3	13.68	3.76	31.22
Scofield	beastcoast	Bo3 + Bo3	13.25	4.54	31.21
n1ght	Thunder Awaken	Bo3 + Bo3	13.67	3.07	30.50
stingeR	beastcoast	Bo3 + Bo3	13.05	4.19	30.44
Panda	Evil Geniuses	Bo3 + Bo3	13.58	3.34	30.42
nuages	Infamous Gaming	Bo3 + Bo3	12.96	3.85	29.89
Genek	Mad Kings Esports	Bo3 + Bo3	12.94	3.11	29.08
Michael~	Hokori	Bo3 + Bo3	12.88	3.03	28.86
Matthew	Evil Geniuses	Bo3 + Bo3	12.70	2.85	28.19
Demon	Balrogs Esports™	Bo3 + Bo3	12.39	2.49	27.32
Mjz	Thunder Awaken	Bo3 + Bo3	11.87	3.27	27.13
Prada	Infinity	Bo3 + Bo3	11.25	3.06	25.62

WEU

**Table 10:* The schedule.*

Team 1	Team 2	Series	Time
Team Liquid	Tundra Esports	Bo3	2023-05-29 13:00 UTC
OG	Gaimin Gladiators	Bo3	2023-05-29 16:00 UTC
Team Secret	Quest Esports	Bo3	2023-05-29 19:00 UTC
D1 Hustlers	Entity	Bo3	2023-05-31 13:00 UTC
Tundra Esports	Gaimin Gladiators	Bo3	2023-05-31 16:00 UTC
Team Liquid	Quest Esports	Bo3	2023-05-31 19:00 UTC
Team Secret	Tundra Esports	Bo3	2023-06-02 13:00 UTC
OG	Entity	Bo3	2023-06-02 16:00 UTC
D1 Hustlers	Gaimin Gladiators	Bo3	2023-06-02 19:00 UTC
OG	D1 Hustlers	Bo3	2023-06-04 19:00 UTC

**Table 11:* The potential choices for the Core role.*

Player	Team	Series	Avg.	Std.	Exp.
dyrachyo	Gaimin Gladiators	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	16.13	5.16	38.89
TA2000	Quest Esports	Bo3 + Bo3	16.59	5.50	38.88
医者watson`	Entity	Bo3 + Bo3	14.99	6.58	36.65
skiter	Tundra Esports	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	14.94	4.61	35.84
yuragi	OG	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	14.26	5.26	35.56
m1CKe	Team Liquid	Bo3 + Bo3	15.56	4.21	35.27
33	Tundra Esports	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	14.83	3.99	34.84
Crystallis	Team Secret	Bo3 + Bo3	14.07	5.72	34.07
Shad	D1 Hustlers	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	12.65	5.42	32.56
Davai Lama	D1 Hustlers	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	12.11	4.92	30.83
Ace ♠	Gaimin Gladiators	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	12.80	3.34	29.90
zai	Team Liquid	Bo3 + Bo3	11.75	4.25	27.70
AMMAR_THE_F	Quest Esports	Bo3 + Bo3	11.19	3.35	25.84
DM	OG	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	10.15	2.96	24.23
Tobi	Entity	Bo3 + Bo3	9.82	3.62	23.32

**Table 12:* The potential choices for the Mid role.*

Player	Team	Series	Avg.	Std.	Exp.
Nisha	Team Liquid	Bo3 + Bo3	16.99	4.83	38.76
bzm	OG	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	15.31	5.72	38.29
Quinn	Gaimin Gladiators	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	15.65	5.13	37.90
Armel	Team Secret	Bo3 + Bo3	15.52	5.02	36.23
Stormstormer	Entity	Bo3 + Bo3	15.31	4.73	35.44
Adzantick	D1 Hustlers	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	14.70	4.33	35.22
No!ob™	Quest Esports	Bo3 + Bo3	15.03	4.06	34.27
Nine	Tundra Esports	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	13.83	4.27	33.19
BOOM	Team Secret	Bo3 + Bo3	12.19	3.92	28.45

**Table 13:* The potential choices for the Support role.*

Player	Team	Series	Avg.	Std.	Exp.
Saksa	Tundra Esports	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	15.65	4.73	37.40
Xakoda	D1 Hustlers	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	15.24	4.21	36.14
Insania	Team Liquid	Bo3 + Bo3	15.70	3.92	35.28
yamich	Team Secret	Bo3 + Bo3	14.85	5.10	34.99
Boxi	Team Liquid	Bo3 + Bo3	14.80	3.66	33.14
kaori	Quest Esports	Bo3 + Bo3	14.35	4.20	33.06
Sneyking	Tundra Esports	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	14.13	3.54	32.85
Seleri	Gaimin Gladiators	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	13.96	3.61	32.57
Thiolicor	D1 Hustlers	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	13.02	4.62	32.25
Taiga	OG	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	13.28	4.21	32.21
tOfu	Gaimin Gladiators	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	13.98	2.84	31.62
Kataomi`	Entity	Bo3 + Bo3	13.59	4.28	31.54
Fishman	Entity	Bo3 + Bo3	13.69	4.00	31.45
Chu	OG	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	12.13	4.50	30.23
Puppey	Team Secret	Bo3 + Bo3	12.65	3.70	29.13
OmaR	Quest Esports	Bo3 + Bo3	12.12	3.05	27.41

EEU

**Table 14:* The schedule.*

Team 1	Team 2	Series	Time
9Pandas	Virtus.pro	Bo3	2023-05-30 11:00 UTC
Team Spirit	BetBoom Team	Bo3	2023-05-30 14:00 UTC
9Pandas	HYDRA	Bo3	2023-06-01 11:00 UTC
Team Spirit	One Move	Bo3	2023-06-01 14:00 UTC
Nemiga Gaming	Virtus.pro	Bo3	2023-06-03 11:00 UTC
BetBoom Team	UALEIKUMNIHAO	Bo3	2023-06-03 14:00 UTC
Team Spirit	9Pandas	Bo3	2023-06-03 17:00 UTC
Nemiga Gaming	BetBoom Team	Bo3	2023-06-04 14:00 UTC
Virtus.pro	UALEIKUMNIHAO	Bo3	2023-06-04 17:00 UTC

**Table 15:* The potential choices for the Core role.*

Player	Team	Series	Avg.	Std.	Exp.
Yatoro雨	Team Spirit	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	14.93	5.62	37.37
Pure~	BetBoom Team	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	15.19	5.36	37.32
Kiritych~	Virtus.pro	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	13.97	6.35	36.47
v1olent`	Nemiga Gaming	Bo3 + Bo3	14.74	5.42	34.97
Nightfall	BetBoom Team	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	14.09	4.50	34.13
Palantimos	UALEIKUMNIHAO	Bo3 + Bo3	13.81	5.92	33.72
RAMZES666	9Pandas	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	13.25	5.36	33.70
Kami	HYDRA	Bo3	15.33	4.95	32.75
Collapse	Team Spirit	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	13.24	4.22	32.13
Munkushi~太阳	One Move	Bo3	14.44	5.67	31.22
Vazya	Nemiga Gaming	Bo3 + Bo3	11.99	3.86	27.95
MieRo`	9Pandas	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	11.28	3.56	27.36
Noticed	Virtus.pro	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	11.25	3.48	27.17
Shergarat (Vladimir)	UALEIKUMNIHAO	Bo3 + Bo3	10.65	3.75	25.17
Cloud	HYDRA	Bo3	11.51	4.52	24.92
AfterLife	One Move	Bo3	11.44	4.34	24.67

**Table 16:* The potential choices for the Mid role.*

Player	Team	Series	Avg.	Std.	Exp.
kiyotaka	9Pandas	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	16.23	5.83	40.30
gpk~	BetBoom Team	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	16.11	4.93	38.73
squad1x	Virtus.pro	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	15.80	4.60	37.78
Malr1ne	Nemiga Gaming	Bo3 + Bo3	16.23	4.51	37.09
CHIRA_JUNIOR	UALEIKUMNIHAO	Bo3 + Bo3	14.39	4.74	33.58
Ainkrad	One Move	Bo3	15.42	4.73	32.79
Larl	Team Spirit	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	13.85	3.42	32.29
Worick	HYDRA	Bo3	14.70	3.94	31.07

**Table 17:* The potential choices for the Support role.*

Player	Team	Series	Avg.	Std.	Exp.
Miposhka	Team Spirit	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	14.06	3.81	33.22
TORONTOTOKYO	BetBoom Team	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	13.96	3.68	32.77
Antares	9Pandas	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	13.67	3.60	32.18
Solo	9Pandas	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	13.38	3.83	31.89
Fng	Virtus.pro	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	12.63	3.81	30.38
pantomem	One Move	Bo3	14.24	4.16	30.18
so bad	Nemiga Gaming	Bo3 + Bo3	13.08	3.85	30.11
Save-	BetBoom Team	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	12.67	3.25	29.63
Mary_y	UALEIKUMNIHAO	Bo3 + Bo3	12.73	4.03	29.62
sayuw	Virtus.pro	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	12.28	3.70	29.55
HappyDyurara	HYDRA	Bo3	13.75	3.33	28.89
Mira	Team Spirit	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	12.36	2.87	28.57
Hellscream	Nemiga Gaming	Bo3 + Bo3	12.56	3.25	28.46
Bekzhan	UALEIKUMNIHAO	Bo3 + Bo3	11.83	3.55	27.33
LIL	HYDRA	Bo3	12.48	3.71	26.48
Gilgir	One Move	Bo3	12.37	3.42	26.14

CN

**Table 18:* The schedule.*

Team 1	Team 2	Series	Time
Aster.Aries	Piggy Killer	Bo3	2023-05-30 04:00 UTC
Azure Ray	Team Bright	Bo3	2023-05-30 07:00 UTC
Aster.Aries	Team Bright	Bo3	2023-06-03 04:00 UTC
INVICTUS GAMING	Team Aster	Bo3	2023-06-03 07:00 UTC
PSG.LGD	Xtreme Gaming	Bo3	2023-06-03 10:00 UTC
Azure Ray	Piggy Killer	Bo3	2023-06-04 04:00 UTC
INVICTUS GAMING	Xtreme Gaming	Bo3	2023-06-04 07:00 UTC
PSG.LGD	Team Aster	Bo3	2023-06-04 10:00 UTC

**Table 19:* The potential choices for the Core role.*

Player	Team	Series	Avg.	Std.	Exp.
Ghost	Xtreme Gaming	Bo3 + Bo3	16.18	6.75	39.33
shiro	PSG.LGD	Bo3 + Bo3	16.41	5.52	38.34
Lou	Azure Ray	Bo3 + Bo3	14.93	5.32	35.32
Monet	Team Aster	Bo3 + Bo3	14.51	5.27	34.33
Dust	INVICTUS GAMING	Bo3 + Bo3	13.70	4.47	32.01
flyfly	Piggy Killer	Bo3 + Bo3	13.00	4.74	30.91
Hea2t.	Team Bright	Bo3 + Bo3	12.38	6.02	30.71
chalice	Azure Ray	Bo3 + Bo3	12.27	5.17	29.90
Ulu	Aster.Aries	Bo3 + Bo3	12.35	4.65	29.12
JT-	Xtreme Gaming	Bo3 + Bo3	12.21	4.11	28.66
Ava阿发	Piggy Killer	Bo3 + Bo3	11.49	3.54	26.64
项羽	INVICTUS GAMING	Bo3 + Bo3	11.23	3.97	26.57
Xxs	Team Aster	Bo3 + Bo3	11.25	3.54	26.06
Irving	Team Bright	Bo3 + Bo3	10.86	4.06	25.81
niu	PSG.LGD	Bo3 + Bo3	10.85	3.07	24.80
生死	Aster.Aries	Bo3 + Bo3	9.89	4.46	24.00

**Table 20:* The potential choices for the Mid role.*

Player	Team	Series	Avg.	Std.	Exp.
Somnus	Azure Ray	Bo3 + Bo3	16.05	5.64	37.94
Emo	INVICTUS GAMING	Bo3 + Bo3	16.03	5.69	37.94
Suma1L-	Team Aster	Bo3 + Bo3	15.88	5.36	37.17
Paparazi灬	Xtreme Gaming	Bo3 + Bo3	15.93	4.91	36.93
Xm	Piggy Killer	Bo3 + Bo3	15.12	4.88	35.26
NothingToSay	PSG.LGD	Bo3 + Bo3	14.54	3.83	32.91
phoenix	Team Bright	Bo3 + Bo3	13.67	4.57	32.00
Xwy	Aster.Aries	Bo3 + Bo3	13.13	4.41	30.43

**Table 21:* The potential choices for the Support role.*

Player	Team	Series	Avg.	Std.	Exp.
Kaka	Xtreme Gaming	Bo3 + Bo3	14.73	4.95	34.57
皮球	Team Aster	Bo3 + Bo3	15.01	3.52	33.57
planet	PSG.LGD	Bo3 + Bo3	14.83	3.77	33.43
Pyw	INVICTUS GAMING	Bo3 + Bo3	14.66	3.18	32.61
Dy	Xtreme Gaming	Bo3 + Bo3	13.91	3.93	31.87
Mercy	Piggy Killer	Bo3 + Bo3	14.02	3.53	31.58
天命	Azure Ray	Bo3 + Bo3	14.02	3.37	31.51
imitator	Team Bright	Bo3 + Bo3	13.57	3.93	31.17
WhyouSm1Le	PSG.LGD	Bo3 + Bo3	13.70	3.31	30.76
qyqx	INVICTUS GAMING	Bo3 + Bo3	13.06	4.11	30.37
fy	Azure Ray	Bo3 + Bo3	13.29	3.48	30.19
Frisk	Piggy Killer	Bo3 + Bo3	12.74	3.66	29.27
Redpanda	Aster.Aries	Bo3 + Bo3	12.33	3.42	27.89
BoBoKa	Team Aster	Bo3 + Bo3	12.00	3.66	27.67
TK	Aster.Aries	Bo3 + Bo3	11.45	3.51	26.19
Undyne_	Team Bright	Bo3 + Bo3	10.95	2.75	24.73

SEA

**Table 22:* The schedule.*

Team 1	Team 2	Series	Time
BLEED	Blacklist Rivalry	Bo3	2023-05-29 08:00 UTC
Team SMG	Xerxia	Bo3	2023-05-29 11:00 UTC
Team SMG	Execration	Bo3	2023-05-31 05:00 UTC
BOOM Esports	Xerxia	Bo3	2023-05-31 08:00 UTC
BLEED	Army Geniuses Mansion	Bo3	2023-05-31 11:00 UTC
BLEED	Xerxia	Bo3	2023-06-02 05:00 UTC
BOOM Esports	Team SMG	Bo3	2023-06-02 08:00 UTC
Execration	Talon	Bo3	2023-06-02 11:00 UTC
Team SMG	Blacklist Rivalry	Bo3	2023-06-05 05:00 UTC

**Table 23:* The potential choices for the Core role.*

Player	Team	Series	Avg.	Std.	Exp.
Natsumi	BOOM Esports	Bo3 + Bo3	18.42	5.21	42.22
JACKKY	BLEED	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	16.86	6.03	41.81
Raven^	Blacklist Rivalry	Bo3 + Bo3	16.24	6.06	38.77
Palos	Execration	Bo3 + Bo3	14.39	6.59	35.60
CDR	Team SMG	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	13.10	5.76	35.00
MidOne	Team SMG	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	12.22	6.69	34.65
23	Talon	Bo3	16.00	6.01	34.44
YoungGod	Xerxia	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	14.01	4.70	34.07
在你的梦里丶	Army Geniuses Mansion	Bo3	15.23	7.00	33.42
iceiceice	BLEED	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	12.58	5.40	32.35
Jabz	Talon	Bo3	14.68	5.73	31.69
BossKu^	Blacklist Rivalry	Bo3 + Bo3	12.91	4.27	30.26
Tino	Execration	Bo3 + Bo3	12.61	4.78	30.17
Masaros	Team SMG	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	10.35	4.57	27.60
Fbz	BOOM Esports	Bo3 + Bo3	12.06	3.03	27.24
Rupido	Xerxia	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	10.75	4.02	26.91
kpii	Blacklist Rivalry	Bo3 + Bo3	11.31	3.96	26.71
db-	Army Geniuses Mansion	Bo3	11.30	5.03	24.73

**Table 24:* The potential choices for the Mid role.*

Player	Team	Series	Avg.	Std.	Exp.
Yopaj-	BOOM Esports	Bo3 + Bo3	17.19	4.43	38.96
JG	Xerxia	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	15.01	5.63	37.59
Mikoto	Talon	Bo3	16.78	4.77	35.51
Karl	Blacklist Rivalry	Bo3 + Bo3	15.42	4.49	35.50
Kordan	BLEED	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	14.78	4.17	35.17
Yowe	Army Geniuses Mansion	Bo3	15.94	6.09	34.46
Bob	Execration	Bo3 + Bo3	14.15	5.61	34.11

**Table 25:* The potential choices for the Support role.*

Player	Team	Series	Avg.	Std.	Exp.
bombi	Xerxia	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	16.20	7.15	42.01
Carlo	Execration	Bo3 + Bo3	16.65	4.46	37.92
Jaunuel	Team SMG	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	15.16	4.55	37.33
DuBu	BLEED	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	15.36	4.38	36.60
DJ	BLEED	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	14.61	4.91	35.76
xNova	BOOM Esports	Bo3 + Bo3	15.24	3.51	34.09
Varizh	Army Geniuses Mansion	Bo3	15.45	4.74	32.91
TIMS	Blacklist Rivalry	Bo3 + Bo3	13.89	3.61	31.52
- 米克 -	Team SMG	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	12.33	3.76	30.41
Oli~	Talon	Bo3	14.33	3.94	30.25
Shanks	Execration	Bo3 + Bo3	12.94	3.96	29.97
Jaja	Xerxia	Bo3 + Bo3 + Bo3	12.32	3.75	29.68
Xepher	BOOM Esports	Bo3 + Bo3	12.18	2.35	26.79
Q	Talon	Bo3	11.83	4.01	25.29
Jhocam	Army Geniuses Mansion	Bo3	11.31	4.51	24.53

Notes

• The data has been acquired from OpenDota and datdota.
• The numbers here are based on each player's 50 most recent tier 1 and 2 pro matches.
• Each match has been exponentially weighted such that the most recent matches have the biggest impact.

Glossary

• Avg.: Average.
• Std.: Standard deviation.
• Exp.: Expectation / expected value.
• Bas. Exp.: Baseline expectation, i.e. the expectation if only the confirmed series are played.
• Pot. Exp.: Potential expectation, i.e. the expectation if all potential series are played.
• (BoX): Denotes series that could potentially be played depending on the outcome of earlier series.

​
https://preview.redd.it/6oe368q93k2b1.jpg?width=2480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7b19f9a0f53208e916da7d092b6378ea5f5c9df7
​
Character study
This character study for a movie will add depth to the screenplay, paint a vivid impression to prompt an actor performing the part and be incorporated in the pitch deck. This vignette is not necessarily the plot of the movie. Any general feedback on character, writing, concepts or design are welcome. Thank you in advance for your suggestions.
Name : Jandro
Role : Protagonist
There's dirt under Jandro's finger nails. Grime stains across his threadbare t-shirt reveal bony ribs. Eyes cast down he searches for lost cash or shiny valuables on the ground. Seeing him hunched forward hauling scrap on his back, you wouldn't guess he's over six feet tall. With ambition to his stride, Jandro walks in jolting starts, a diet of cheap n' greasy street feed fueling his nervous energy. Speaking in a soft tongue he schools himself from a dog eared nineteen seventies encyclopedia read by the dim light of a corner store lamp. Jandro’s bad habits of voicing his mind and interrupting rather listening have earned him the reputation of eccentric for his age. Beneath the disarray of hair, behind those darting eyes, blooms a handsome charismatic teen.
As a five year old during a provincial war, he got separated from his parents and a childless couple of junk scavengers found him crying beneath Jandro River bridge, adopting him as their salvage picker. Concealing the shame of poverty remained a burden until hunger broke his resolve and he resorted to foraging through trash after dark. The other children in the rag clan were desperate by nature and Jandro did not trust them. The stray kittens who’d once rode in his backpack were closer to his heart. Symbols of good fortune, the whimsical cats embroidered in yellow thread dancing around his filthy jean jacket’s collar were an emotional reminder of dear friends departed.
Two days before his fifteenth birthday, hidden in the crumbling adobe walls of a colonial church, Jandro chanced upon a hessian sack filled with silver coins. The foreign antique dealer who purchased the loot offered Jandro valuable advice, encouraging him to travel village to village, to roam far and high, asking discreet questions regarding the whereabouts of priceless mystic artefacts. This quest for treasure ignited Jandro's imagination. Legs trembling with impatient enthusiasm he couldn't sit still, jumping at an opportunity to bid the city junk trade farewell.
These past months of lone mountain roving honed his reflexes and agility. Owing to his informal nickname, with no valid proof of identity, Jandro dashed land borders before dawn and lurked on the fringe of any town he visited. Opposed to formally registering his name with the ministry he'd quietly slip away should anyone question his past. Never in one place for too long, he preferred to sleep rough, exposed to the shifting sky. Each night Jandro wrestled with the guilt of abandoning his scavenger family, doubting if pursuing his dreams was worth the risk. But on waking his morning thoughts returned to the rumors of Inca rebel gold dumped in a highland lake, or the fabled Wari tomb of animal spirits, then inspired by newfound wanderlust Jandro fastened his steel pick axe and, determined to succeed, trekked toward the far horizon.

Okey first of; sorry if the formatting is a bit off, I’m on mobile and English is not my first language. I’m also dyslexic so sorry for any spelling errors. Off to the story. So I (25F) just had my birthday a couple of days ago, I live with my partner (27M) of 5 years. As we have been together for so long I have tried to show my partner that on birthdays, anniversary’s, holiday and big days I like to do something special of it. If it is a better dinner, not having to think of making your own birthday cake, going to the movies with food after (even McDonald’s after is okey for me) a small party/gathering with close friends or just planed out a movie, snacks/food at home and then we play video games together on the ps5. Just something. In short I saw my boyfriend for a total of 3 hours on my birthday, he had to go to work in the morning so no breakfast or cake in bed (of course I’m not mad at that) and then when he came home he didn’t imply anything, like “hey birthday girl, anything you are in the mood for to eat today?” He just came to the living room and started to play on the ps5. After 3 hours at home he got a call from one of his closest friend who wondered if he could borrow him for a few hours because he needed to talk. I didn’t have a problem with that as long as I got to know when I would get him home to celebrate with me. I was then told 3 hours tops, and usually they have always kept the time sett so I was okey with it all. Well 3 hours turned to 6+ and I then had baked my own birthday cake, skipped dinner as I thought we were going to eat together and took our dog on a walk by my self. When I went to bed I called my boyfriend to see what was up, only to find out they had gone bowling right up the street from where we live, without me. I blew up on him and told him to find somewhere else to sleep tonight as I didn’t want him home. (The first time I have ever said that to him, usually when I’m mad at him I sleep on the couch) After that I just hung up on him and went to sleep, 30 minutes ish after the phone call I hear the lock in our apartment and he walks in (we live in a small studio apartment ish) as he gets to the bed I ask if he didn’t hear what I had said, he said he did but then asked. “ did you seriously think I wouldn’t come home?” I then get out of bed and start to look around for my clothes as if he was here I would not be sleeping here, he starts to talk to me trying to get me to go to bed and I break starting to take the pillows, my stuffed animals and the blankets and throw them at him as I cry and scream “you left me alone on my birthday, you know how much I try to make birthdays special and yet you left me alone. Just like everyone else!” He doesn’t say anything just try to hold around me as I break more. I literally push him away from me as I just wanted to be left alone. After a few minutes of me screaming he looks at me and says “ I don’t know what kind of excuse would be good enough here” I then ask straight out “ did you prevent a suicide tonight?” “ no I don’t think so, but he is still not having a good period in his life and what were I supposed to do? My friend was the one paying and I asked if you could join too, he said he wanted boys time.” My response was: “Well I’m so sorry but I have to decline for tonight, it’s her birthday and I have already given you 2 hours of the time I could have been with her celebrating. But if you want to go out tomorrow night I’m available.” I didn’t even hesitate in my response and looked him dead in the eyes. I don’t know what was looking back at me as all I remember was his face empty and cold. After that I didn’t speak much to him, I went to sleep as I was exhausted from crying so much and the day after I barely spoke to him. Unless it was necessary that I spoke to him like when the dog had been outside last and if she had gotten food, I didn’t speak to him. This isn’t the first time he plainly didn’t plan anything for my birthday even though we have spoken about it a lot since I have spent the last 7 birthdays in tears and the last 6 alone. We even have talked about it before and I have tried to show him on his birthday how I’m used to do things; I ask what he wants for dinner, if there is anything he wants to do, what kind of cake he wants, anything he wishes as in birthday gifts and so on. My question is what do I do now? I’m so hurt over this that I had to call the mental health line just for someone to talk to and to not go back to my self harming ways ( 4 years of not hurting myself so I’m doing anything to stay on my streak, yes I am in therapy for it) I don’t know if I can forgive him or how to talk to him about it?
TLDR; Boyfriend forgot the time and spent huge amount of my birthday with a friend while I was home alone. Haven’t spoken to him since as of how hurt I am. Any advice on how to get thro this or how to talk this through?

Search code on temu “S22788K” Or press link: https://app.temu.com/m/useKYn0gqGjRuor
My dog’s birthday is coming up and I want to get him all the toys.

I have been taking Bahasa Indonesia lessons but my experience wasn't the best. Teacher didn't speak my own language well enough to teach and our assigments were just off. I have been taking them so that I can speak to my mom.
My question is if I could maybe DM someone to help me translate a small piece of text. Not very long. Maybe 10-15 sentences at most, a personolized message. (Not just happy birthday, I know how to write that) I just don't want it to look like google translated it.
Thanks in advance already!

Hey y'all! I've been posting here quite often since my MIL moved in and I'm grateful for this sub to let me blow off some steam. Here comes a wall of text because this is my one way of venting!
For a recap, my MIL is 78. She's always been the selfless angel type every time I've seen her prior to moving in. She was always hyper polite, always cooked drawn out amazing meals just for us, and got to spoil my son for our visits. Sure, she's old fashioned and a little batty in her own quirky way, but was always incredibly courteous and doting.
So, long story short, MIL was kicked out of her home where she paid next to no rent her entire life. Her sister (92 and still kicking) owned it until it recently went up for sale due to having multiple strokes and no longer being capable of managing it. MIL is broke. She only gets minimal social security every month. She's relied on her son, my husband, our entire marriage to solve her problems, financial or otherwise. He has taken care of her siblings as well out of love and not because he's obligated. It's been a rollercoaster of dementia homes, stories funeral costs, and nursing homes for as long as we've been married. We didn't want her to go searching for section 8 housing on such short notice, nor could we afford to get her her own place. She also lived about a 2 hour drive from hell away.
Our solution seemed simple. We went out of our way to rent a new home with an extra bedroom for her and one for her sister for when we may be able to employ a part time home nurse. She swore she would help out with her meals in between and I would take care of diapers when the nurse was off the clock. We thought, hey, it'll be a bit of a learning curve, but she's so sweet, there's no way we won't find a groove and get a little extra help with the kids. I was 32 weeks pregnant when she moved in. It seemed like a no brainer to get grandma to enjoy the birth of her second grandson and save us a fortune on elder care at the same time. We thought she would be happy to be with her son and his kids in a nice neighborhood.
I detailed it in my first post here, but long story short, MIL shocked me with her inability to adapt. Fist thing I noticed was that she had debilitating cataracts to the point where she's basically blind. She holds up a magnifying glass inches away from literally everything to see. On top of that, she's also basically deaf. We are taking care of these things but it's taking time.
But it went beyond that. She has no hobbies. I caught her staring at the TV on the "are you still watching" page as if there was a show on. She must feel like she's staring at a wall all the time every day. She has no interest in doing anything else except for chores.
BUT. She will only do these chores HER way and becomes extremely offended if I try to show her how we like to do things/ask her nicely to let me, say, let me put my own laundry away. I showed her how I like to fold my clothes and she smiled and pretended to listen, then literally IMMEDIATELY continued folding them the way I asked her not to. Multiple times to the point where telling her again would be too awkward. I literally picked then up and refolded everything she did one after another right in front of her and she just continued. She's also so blind that she was putting my bras in the pile with my son's shirts... and when I asked her to let me sort, since she mixed everything up so badly, she ignored me again.
Lastly, she undermines our parenting a lot. I've always been a believer that grandma gets to spoil the kids a bit more than parents, but my son (8) is on the spectrum and he is the type who has only made many of the strides he has due to our strictness in making him care for himself when capable. He's smart but can be lazy when things are done for him. He can't be babied or he regresses. Everything he knows how to do he had to be pushed into doing for himself, but he always learns to love the independence once he masters these life skills. I caught MIL literally spoon-feeding him within the first week. She was wiping his butt and now he leaves streaks in his underwear, waiting for somebody to wipe him. She dresses him. She brushes his teeth. These are all things we have worked tirelessly in getting him to do for himself. And when I politely remind her that this is not good for him and to let him be independent, I can tell that she gets mad.
All this time, MIL has proven herself to be the type to smile to my face and then slowly boil over her grievances. She will smile at me and then blow up on SO like he's her scapegoat. Lately, that simmering resentment has finally boiled over, and that's kind of the point if this post.
Here are some things, not limited to, that have slowly accumulated and eventually set my MIL off:

1. The other day, she cooked sausage links. She forgot to put them away in a ziploc bag so, overnight, they went bad exposed to the open air. I saw them in the fridge and said "oh, please remember to put them in a bag! It's okay though, it's just a couple pieces of sausage!" It was a non-thing. Within moments, she teared up and ran to her room to cry. I followed her to reassure her that mistakes happen, that she can't beat herself up over nothing. Nobody doesn't make mistakes. She insisted that no, this was a huge deal.
   
2. She was sucking her teeth excessively a week ago. So loud that it sounded like she was eating a bag of chips with her mouth open. SO said "hey ma, don't forget your tick!". She ran to her room to cry and said that she felt like she lived in a big dark hole. It was very sad to hear her say that. I felt bad, but this was something we talked to her about before with no issue. Suddenly it's a HUGE problem. I personally have a thing where certain excessive mouth noises just obliterate my mood. I can't help it, it's genetic as far as I can tell, but I still do my best to tolerate the occasional teeth sucking. But this? It's nonstop and LOUD. Unlike anything I've heard before. Louder then smacking gum by a LOT.
   
3. The day we got home from the hospital after a traumatic preterm birth, the first thing she did was complain that it had been a week since she wanted to get her eyebrows waxed. We had to stay in the hospital that entire week and I guess she took that personally. Never mind the excessive pain I was in coming home for due to complications.
   
4. I asked her nicely multiple times to try and limit the amount of candies and cookies she put in the pantry while I acclimated to my PP diet. She can still have them, but I asked her to store them in her room for now, because my success in dieting is directly correlated to how many temptations I have at home and she will usually only eat a single cookie out of a box a day (so they last forever). She has instead taken it upon herself to build a small stash of candy bars and cakes in the pantry, of which she has eaten NONE. She then offers me foods she knows I can't have and then gets upset with me for denying them, as that's "impolite".
   
5. She would douse herself in perfume multiple times a day. Perfume makes me physically ill to the point where I had to go lay down with nausea and headaches whenever she did. Some helpful redditors pointed out that it would be toxic for my baby, so we asked her nicely to tone it down for the sake of the newborn's health. She freaked out and said that she had no control over her life. I felt bad about this one, as I know she enjoys her perfume a lot, but it was just too much. Her room still smells like a thick musk and I just don't go in there.
   

Now, this is the big blowup...
Today, a repairman came to fix a piece of furniture. MIL asked me if she should take the dog outside so he didn't bother him and I told her no, the dog will calm down after a moment of excitement, but she was free to go outside anyway if she wanted to. I thought she went out to enjoy herself- she does it often and says she likes the sun. Well, the repairman left while I was pumping breast milk and hubs was feeding our new 2 week old. She eventually came in about 5 minutes after he left and BLEW UP. She was crying, yelling us that it was SO RUDE to not come and get her immediately. We told her that we thought she was out there in her own accord but she didn't listen. SO kept saying "it was only five minutes, we have had our hands full and we didn't know", and she stormed out of the house for two hours. I was supposed to go to sleep (newborn schedule) but stayed up because DH went out to chase her and talk.
During this talk, since I was not around, she let it all out. Said she lives in hell. She's mad at ME for pointing out how the sausage went bad. Says I should've never mentioned it, let her leave it out as much as she wanted, and that it was rude of me to correct her. She used the phrase "I know you have kids with her so she's not going anywhere" and my husband defended me, asking her wtf I had done that was so wrong and if I should've eaten bad meat just to please her. He told her that, if she couldn't live with us, she wouldn't make it with anyone else who didn't bend over backwards, which she denied. Apparently she expected us to let her do literally anything she wanted and says that she "walks on eggshells" around me because I ask her not to baby my son (I'm watching all of my hard work crumble before my eyes with how she treats him and I will NOT stand by and watch my son wither away into a helpless blob). She said that it wasn't fair that the dog had rules and the cats don't, going so far as to pantomime a hunched over servant, to which SO had to explain that cats are incapable of learning manners the way dogs are and the dogisn't allowed to just jump on people and beg for food. She thinks him having a crate is cruel and unusual. She even said that it makes her upset when I don't jump out of my seat and shout an enthusiastic "Good morning!!" when she wakes up.
Forget that I've been up since the wee hours taking care of a newborn. Forget all of my pains and aches, my disfigured and bloody nipples from trying to find the right pump, and my also being on a strict diet. Oh, and forget that I'm in MY OWN HOME where I shouldn't feel like I have to feign enthusiasm every time I see a family member. It's not like I'm rude! I always smile and put on a chipper tone no matter HOW I feel. But, on the days where my pains are just too much, when I'm dizzy or dealing with a migraine, she takes personal offense to my smile not sparkling in the sun. How dare I be somewhat stoic but still polite!
I went to sleep after she got back (we talked about it at length until then) and, when I woke up to pump, she was gone. Apparently she went to bed early in a huff. On Saturdays, my son looks forward to a "sleepover" in her room. He looks forward to it all week. He was just getting ready for bed and my husband was explaining to him that it probably wasn't happening tonight. He ended up opening her door loudly and we had to pull him away and reprimand him for opening her door without knocking, knowing that she was asleep.
Well, after he did that twice, I went over to him to console him and tell him that we would make up for it. She BURST out of her room and started yelling at us: why won't you let him have his sleepover?!
We told her that we thought she was sleeping, as per what she said (she apparently even said goodnight to my son when she went to bed), and that regardless, he shouldn't be bursting into her room without knowing that she was awake and willing to have this sleepover. She just kept yelling, not listening: WHY are you not letting him stay with me?! It's Saturday! He ALWAYS sleeps in here!
And ultimately, he got to go have his sleepover after we were completely undermined for trying to teach him manners. I'm glad that he got to, he didn't deserve to be shafted, but how dare she make US the bad guys for not letting him force his way inside when we thought she had specifically wanted to be alone?? I was already annoyed with HER for going to bed without him on his special day, but instead she made a whole show about how we were keeping him from her and how she was the big savior in the end!
After all this, DH is fuming. I've never seen him this mad at his mother. He loves her tremendously. He's bent under backwards for her multiple times over the course of our marriage. He's taken care of EVERYTHING in her life. But now that she's pointing fingers at him and treating him like he's the bad guy, he is OVER it. He said to me that, if she has anther unfair outburst like that, he's gonna tell her to call around and find somebody willing to house her, because she's out of here. She's destroying our newborn period. We won't get these days back.
But what gets me is that... I think that's what she expects from him. She expects him to just dish out 2k per month of his own money, of his children's money, to get her her own apartment where she can wander around like Mr. Magoo and eat rancid sausages to her heart's content. It's almost a powerplay. The initial plan was to move her sister in, save a fortune on elder care, and she would help keep her sister company since I'm not bilingual and they were spending every day together before she moved in with us. But she just... stopped talking to her sister altogether? It's so bizarre. It's like she randomly decided to drop her from her life when she moved in with us and it's clear that her sister is hurt by this. When we ask her, she just goes "oh, I don't know :)" or just makes a dismissive "mmm".
But she won't talk about anything. She won't listen to our side of anything. She just wants to explode, bitch, and then pretend it never happened in a cycle. She expects us to just grit our teeth and live in hell with her when our lives are supposed to be happy right now with the new baby. She thinks that burying problems and periodically freaking out is the right way to live and everything else is rude. I can't even enjoy my newborn. I have angry MIL sitting beside me, staring depressedly at the wall for hours on end every day. I can't so much as be a parent to my oldest anymore without incurring her silent ire, which she unloads on DH when they're alone. If I try to talk about it with her, it's all "don't worry about it, everything's fine :)".
What gets me, what I take personally (since I'm thinking that the rest may be dementia or something), is how she treats our family finances like a bottomless bank. She thinks that DH is Scrooge McDuck with a pool of gold despite me telling her about our struggles and how DH has literally been crying over the whole situation with her sister. She KNOWS that our financial plan was to save money on her living costs and on her sister's elder care because we can't afford to take care of everybody, but DH loves her too much to just stick her into section 8 (which takes time, too). BUT, she wants us to buy her her own apartment ANYWAY as well as forgo the plan on saving five figures a month on her sister, all while treating us like trash for not allowing her to bulldoze the household. Who is this woman and what has she done with the MIL I knew?! If we don't get to live out our plan as intended, I will hold this against her forever, and there will be no reconciliation. DH understands. He thinks I've been more than understanding and that it's MIL who is acting like a dictator while claiming to be the victim.
TLDR: MIL thinks that the normal course of life is to endure misery and never talk openly and honestly, so she expects us to wallow in her own personal Hell beside her for a long as she will live. Does not believe in reconciliation, seems to have zero consideration for others in any capacity (except our dog?), and makes unreasonable seen like the understatement of the century.
Oh, and I've gotten a lot of advice on my aunt in law's elder care in the last couple of threads, so not a lot is needed! DH has been on top of it and all suggestions were things he already considered and knew about. It's rather complicated and i can't get into it here, as this is just meant to be a rant. We have an elder care lawyer who is helping out.
As for assisted living for MIL, that's apparently not going to happen without significant costs until she meets certain cognitive thresholds, which she has not yet. So, it's either section 8 (and I'm petrified of letting her live alone, tbh) or another small fortune to get her out of the house... I think we need to find a relative willing to take her, because with my kids, she's turning my once bright and sunny household into a goddamn war zone.