Apartments for rent in sanger tx
Boston Apartments: Listings, Rooms for Rent, Roommates + Sublets
2011.01.07 23:16 Bakadan Boston Apartments: Listings, Rooms for Rent, Roommates + Sublets
bostonhousing is a great resource for anyone looking for Boston apartments, rooms for rent in Boston, roommates in Boston, sublets in Boston and advice about moving to Boston + the surrounding area — including Cambridge, Somerville and Brookline.
2014.03.26 16:30 kiraaparsons Houses for rent in Denton, TX
Landlords may post rent houses here for Denton Redditors.
2011.03.29 02:40 hesdoingwhat Apartments for rent, trade or sublet in Chicago.
2023.06.02 00:36 snuffmeout I need some excuses quick
Alright so i have been sneaking in my boyfriend for the past few months now and my mom's clueless. His parents drive him to my house because he says hes having group study sessions with a bunch of his classmates. This might all come apart because I'll be introduced to his parents soon and the only way I'll be able to go on dates with him is if my mom meets them too. We're both afraid about how his parents will say to my mom about our "study sessions". I'm terrified guys and I can't come up with that good of an excuse to my mom when she confronts me. All I got is "oh they just mixed me up with another friend of his that lives here". Help me please!
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2023.06.02 00:34 throwaway42840284 Feeling so scared about moving
I move next week and my partner and I are leaving a large apartment (with an awful landlord and several issues) for a nice and well-maintained but significantly smaller place.
I wish I could say I’m excited but I’m so scared about what to do with all our stuff that it’s overriding any good feelings I have. We already are selling furniture items, donating tons of clothes and shoes, putting things out on the curb for people to take, and there’s still just too much. It’s mostly my stuff, of course. We got a small storage unit today for seasonal items and still have a decent bit of space in there, which relieved a little bit of my stress, but there’s STILL too much.
I’ve been in therapy this year for hoarding and I’m proud of the progress I’ve made, but the anticipation of moving into this apartment has really triggered a lot of those hard, shameful, fearful feelings in me. I know that all I can do is acknowledge my feelings and take it one step at a time, but man I’m really feeling low right now and need some support. I imagine a life where I love and have space for all my things and feel better than this, and I was hoping this move could help me get there, but it feels so out of reach.
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2023.06.02 00:34 SQUEEMO24 I have a lot of rage brewing and its going to bubble over very soon
I was so damn close to having my shit together, for once I really believed that everything would be okay. I'm done with people having control over me and influencing my actions I am beyond over it at this point. Things were going to well until I had to go on a trip I didn't really want to fucking go on and spent my entire savings base plus my disposable income for the month. The whole trip was a waste of time but I did it because my SO was worried about upsetting his abusive family. It was a three day trip and now we don't have enough money for our summer trip. I'm out of money and he keeps reminding me that I owe him money as if he's not short on rent because of this trip. As if I didn't cover him on rent for the entirety of last year. As if I didn't pay for the whole damn summer trip last year. As if he didn't promise to pay me back for some expenses we incurred earlier in the year but he keeps putting it off. But yeah sure tell me how I owe you money. My best friend is extremely lacking in self awareness and I'm super tired of enabling her to spare her feelings. She keeps texting me about the downfall of her relationship as if she isn't the one that caused it. She won't fucking listen when I tell her what she's doing is wrong but I can't stop being her friend because I love her and very few people share interests with me. Her soon-to-be ex was the heart of our friend group which is going to collapse now. My So will still get to hang out with him but he's expressed that he thinks it'll be a conflict of interest to stay in contact with me. I shouldn't be broke and sad right now. I should be preparing to finally have the summer of my dreams but I'm not and it's out of my fucking control. I want to fight someone, I want to physically fight someone and get my revenge for another fucking summer ruined. But there is nobody to fight so the rage just sits here and builds.
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2023.06.02 00:34 aevong What is it called when you feel guilty for standing up for yourself? (even when justified)
Earlier today one of my neighbors in the upstairs apartment was tossing water off of their balcony (apparently its their fish tank water). I didn't have a problem with it until they threw a bunch diretly on my window. I go outside and confronted them about it and they apologized and we went about our day.
Later on though I noticed that I felt guilty as fuck as though I was the one in the wrong lmao. I still feel somewhat guilty but for what?? w
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2023.06.02 00:33 hobbesboiler He (29M) told me he needs time to himself mentally after spending a vacation with me. I (26F) don’t know what this means
I spent a weekend on vacation with my boyfriend of 5 months. This is our first trip together, and I really enjoyed it. We spent 2.5 days together, and then we went to our separate apartments after driving back on Monday. Since then, I haven’t heard from him much at all (it’s now Thursday). I texted him something that he responded to, and then when I responded back he never opened the message (we have read receipts on). I was hoping that he would reach out today to hang out, but nothing. I wanted to find out if everything is okay since he always texts me either if he wants to hang out, or if he has other plans he’ll let me know and that’s totally fine. At least he will check in in the evening to find out how my day was. We live in the same town, so we usually hangout 3ish times a week. He’s never been so silent before. I texted him today asking if everything is okay, since we haven’t talked at all in the last few days. He texted me back and told me that everything was totally fine, just that he has been taking some time to himself mentally after the weekend we spent together. He followed that up with saying that he had a great time on our vacation and he will see me tomorrow, and that he loves me. I am left a little confused. Does spending time with me take up so much mental space for him that he has to have 3 whole days to himself? I understand what it feels like to need me time, and I need it too. But I feel like I don’t have to be “on” around him and so it feels like I’m not wasting mental energy when I’m with him and it kind of makes me sad that being with me takes up mental energy for him. I have brought up that when we are together we don’t have to do anything special, we can just coexist and do our own hobbies yet still be in the same room, which he said he would be down for. But it never seems to work out that way, which is fine but it’s just freaking me out that spending just a weekend with me makes him feel like he needs such a long break with minimal contact. And it begs the question, how are we ever going to live together in the future if he can’t spend long periods of time with me without getting mentally exhausted? I’m spiraling a little bit and need advice on whether this is just a fundamental incompatibility or whether we can make this work, and if anyone has ever been in the same situation. Thank you.
TLDR; My boyfriend needs 3 days of non-communication for time for himself mentally after spending a long weekend with me. I’m now spiraling wondering if this is normal or just a fundamental incompatibility. Any advice is appreciated.
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2023.06.02 00:33 Throwaway_familylaw Family Law- who is responsible for providing child with clothes while with non-resident parent?
My ex and I are separated, never lived together, and have a young child. Child stays with their other parent every other weekend. No court orders in place and maintenance is paid. Up until now we have had a mostly good relationship with one another however it has now completely fallen apart. I have always provided clean clothing for our child to wear when with the other parent, and it has been returned dirty for me to wash, but recently it's been taking weeks and multiple requests to get some items back so I have asked them to buy some clothing to use and keep at their house as I no longer want to have arguments over it. They are refusing and say that legally it is my responsibility to provide them with clean clothing for our child for the duration of our child's stay with them. I can't find anything online that supports that, in fact most things I have seen suggest it's better for them to have their own collection of clothing/toys/shoes at their house to allow our child to feel more comfortable/at home while there. Can anyone advise me on who's responsibility it is to provide clothing? And maybe point out the legislation to back it up? In Scotland, not sure if that makes a difference.
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2023.06.02 00:33 hobbesboiler He (29M) told me he needs time to himself mentally after spending a vacation with me. I (26F) don’t know what this means
I spent a weekend on vacation with my boyfriend of 5 months. This is our first trip together, and I really enjoyed it. We spent 2.5 days together, and then we went to our separate apartments after driving back on Monday. Since then, I haven’t heard from him much at all (it’s now Thursday). I texted him something that he responded to, and then when I responded back he never opened the message (we have read receipts on). I was hoping that he would reach out today to hang out, but nothing. I wanted to find out if everything is okay since he always texts me either if he wants to hang out, or if he has other plans he’ll let me know and that’s totally fine. At least he will check in in the evening to find out how my day was. We live in the same town, so we usually hangout 3ish times a week. He’s never been so silent before. I texted him today asking if everything is okay, since we haven’t talked at all in the last few days. He texted me back and told me that everything was totally fine, just that he has been taking some time to himself mentally after the weekend we spent together. He followed that up with saying that he had a great time on our vacation and he will see me tomorrow, and that he loves me. I am left a little confused. Does spending time with me take up so much mental space for him that he has to have 3 whole days to himself? I understand what it feels like to need me time, and I need it too. But I feel like I don’t have to be “on” around him and so it feels like I’m not wasting mental energy when I’m with him and it kind of makes me sad that being with me takes up mental energy for him. I have brought up that when we are together we don’t have to do anything special, we can just coexist and do our own hobbies yet still be in the same room, which he said he would be down for. But it never seems to work out that way, which is fine but it’s just freaking me out that spending just a weekend with me makes him feel like he needs such a long break with minimal contact. And it begs the question, how are we ever going to live together in the future if he can’t spend long periods of time with me without getting mentally exhausted? I’m spiraling a little bit and need advice on whether this is just a fundamental incompatibility or whether we can make this work, and if anyone has ever been in the same situation. Thank you.
TLDR; My boyfriend needs 3 days of non-communication for time for himself mentally after spending a long weekend with me. I’m now spiraling wondering if this is normal or just a fundamental incompatibility. Any advice is appreciated.
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2023.06.02 00:32 attentionallshoppers Anyone have experience with door-to-door salespeople from Puulse Marketing/Bell?
Hey all, yesterday I stepped out of my apartment and bumped into a sales rep from Puulse Marketing on my doorstep. They were selling on behalf of Bell, apparently there's an internet deal currently running in my neighbourhood for Fibe.
Is this...legit? A scam? I didn't know Bell subcontracted a different company for direct sales. Has anyone ever dealt with someone like this for internet, phone, etc? The deal was very solid and I'd like to use it if it's for real.
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2023.06.02 00:32 smallandfucked Hitting my lowest once again. Bless
Losing my apartment and hitting my lowest point. Yay
My life is really going down the drain. Losing my apartment in 3 weeks, and fuck i might be homeless for a while. Been blowing my savings away on stupid shit the last year or so, and i knew i needed it for a down payment on my next apartment, but i’ve been in fantasyland for a while and haven’t been able to move. I haven’t told anyone my situation, not even my dad, who basically is the only one who checks up on me. My eating disorder is close to the worst it’s ever been, and I can’t think clearly. Thinking about trying to sleep/hide at my work for 2 months until i have enough to get a new place. Possibly i could check myself into a hospital/mental health facility, but idk if they would let me go to work, and i definitely cant afford that lol.
Life sure is something
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2023.06.02 00:32 borshthrowaway Suspect MA failed. Traveling for exam and possibly SA. Nervous about using insurance since I live in TX
It’s been 12 days since I started my MA. Spotting and passing tissue ended after about 7 days and I never fully bled. I’m thinking it was most likely unsuccessful. Still testing pregnant with a dark line. Still have swollen breasts with soreness/tenderness and acid reflux/nausea from time to time.
Now, I’m looking into traveling to Denver for an ultrasound/exam with PP and will pursue an SA if needed.
I’m nervous about using my health insurance though. Being that I live in Texas and have an Texas based employer and health insurance plan is there any way using my insurance can get me into legal trouble? What are my other options? Seems out of pocket can be hundreds to thousands of dollars!
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2023.06.02 00:32 Even-Substance New rental for me. Doing suite condition report today. Any advice?
Hello,
I have signed an RTA to rent a new apartment.
The landlord seems nice and the apartment seemed in good condition in my initial viewing.
However - today I am going to meet with the landlord to do a walkthrough and sign a suite condition report.
Is there anything in particular I should be prepared for when signing a suite condition report?
I assume me and the landlord will go through the apartment and he will tell me if there are any issues in advance.
Thank you.
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2023.06.02 00:32 vMambaaa Cleaning essentials/starter pack?
If you were starting fresh and had to buy stuff/pick essentials for cleaning an apartment or home, what would they be? I moved in to a place by myself in January and have collected a few things as I've noticed I need them but still don't have much. I thought this would be a useful thought exercise that others could benefit from.
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2023.06.02 00:31 hobbesboiler He (29M) told me he needs time to himself mentally after spending a vacation with me. I (26F) don’t know what this means
I spent a weekend on vacation with my boyfriend of 5 months. This is our first trip together, and I really enjoyed it. We spent 2.5 days together, and then we went to our separate apartments after driving back on Monday. Since then, I haven’t heard from him much at all (it’s now Thursday). I texted him something that he responded to, and then when I responded back he never opened the message (we have read receipts on). I was hoping that he would reach out today to hang out, but nothing. I wanted to find out if everything is okay since he always texts me either if he wants to hang out, or if he has other plans he’ll let me know and that’s totally fine. At least he will check in in the evening to find out how my day was. We live in the same town, so we usually hangout 3ish times a week. He’s never been so silent before. I texted him today asking if everything is okay, since we haven’t talked at all in the last few days. He texted me back and told me that everything was totally fine, just that he has been taking some time to himself mentally after the weekend we spent together. He followed that up with saying that he had a great time on our vacation and he will see me tomorrow, and that he loves me. I am left a little confused. Does spending time with me take up so much mental space for him that he has to have 3 whole days to himself? I understand what it feels like to need me time, and I need it too. But I feel like I don’t have to be “on” around him and so it feels like I’m not wasting mental energy when I’m with him and it kind of makes me sad that being with me takes up mental energy for him. I have brought up that when we are together we don’t have to do anything special, we can just coexist and do our own hobbies yet still be in the same room, which he said he would be down for. But it never seems to work out that way, which is fine but it’s just freaking me out that spending just a weekend with me makes him feel like he needs such a long break with minimal contact. And it begs the question, how are we ever going to live together in the future if he can’t spend long periods of time with me without getting mentally exhausted? I’m spiraling a little bit and need advice on whether this is just a fundamental incompatibility or whether we can make this work, and if anyone has ever been in the same situation. Thank you.
TLDR; My boyfriend needs 3 days of non-communication for time for himself mentally after spending a long weekend with me. I’m now spiraling wondering if this is normal or just a fundamental incompatibility. Any advice is appreciated.
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2023.06.02 00:31 hobbesboiler He (29M) told me he needs time to himself mentally after spending a vacation with me. I (26F) don’t know what this means
I spent a weekend on vacation with my boyfriend of 5 months. This is our first trip together, and I really enjoyed it. We spent 2.5 days together, and then we went to our separate apartments after driving back on Monday. Since then, I haven’t heard from him much at all (it’s now Thursday). I texted him something that he responded to, and then when I responded back he never opened the message (we have read receipts on). I was hoping that he would reach out today to hang out, but nothing. I wanted to find out if everything is okay since he always texts me either if he wants to hang out, or if he has other plans he’ll let me know and that’s totally fine. At least he will check in in the evening to find out how my day was. We live in the same town, so we usually hangout 3ish times a week. He’s never been so silent before. I texted him today asking if everything is okay, since we haven’t talked at all in the last few days. He texted me back and told me that everything was totally fine, just that he has been taking some time to himself mentally after the weekend we spent together. He followed that up with saying that he had a great time on our vacation and he will see me tomorrow, and that he loves me. I am left a little confused. Does spending time with me take up so much mental space for him that he has to have 3 whole days to himself? I understand what it feels like to need me time, and I need it too. But I feel like I don’t have to be “on” around him and so it feels like I’m not wasting mental energy when I’m with him and it kind of makes me sad that being with me takes up mental energy for him. I have brought up that when we are together we don’t have to do anything special, we can just coexist and do our own hobbies yet still be in the same room, which he said he would be down for. But it never seems to work out that way, which is fine but it’s just freaking me out that spending just a weekend with me makes him feel like he needs such a long break with minimal contact. And it begs the question, how are we ever going to live together in the future if he can’t spend long periods of time with me without getting mentally exhausted? I’m spiraling a little bit and need advice on whether this is just a fundamental incompatibility or whether we can make this work, and if anyone has ever been in the same situation. Thank you.
TLDR; My boyfriend needs 3 days of non-communication for time for himself mentally after spending a long weekend with me. I’m now spiraling wondering if this is normal or just a fundamental incompatibility. Any advice is appreciated.
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2023.06.02 00:30 Odditylee What would Carrie had done if...
... Aidan hadn't bought the apartment when her building went co-op? She would have had to figure something out, right?
The thing about that situation and Charlotte loaning her money that always bugged me is it's not like Carrie would have been homeless!! She had options, she just didn't like them and was set on keeping her current place. Which is fine! But to expect others to fix it for her really bugs me.
I wonder what would have happened if Charlotte had listened and offered the money with Sam and Miranda. Would Carrie really had not accepted it?? What would she have done?
Or what if Charlotte had offered the ring but Carrie declined and finally grew up a little. Maybe she could have asked Aidan to consider giving her more time to get her finances together. Maybe she sells her designer shoes and clothes so she can keep her place and has to deal with that. Maybe she says goodbye to the apartment and it leads to even better things in the future but has to deal with and ending to that chapter in her life.
I don't know but I wish it had been a turning point for her and maybe been better for her growth and next phase in her life.
What do you think?
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2023.06.02 00:30 i_want_a_tortilla How much are you paying for rent in 89113
My Property manager sent me the wrong lease. Im paying about $200 less to live in 89104/89142 (border). Just curious how this compares to you.
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2023.06.02 00:30 sunsandandwriting Job Openings
Hi all!!
I am a pharmacy rep (previously a technician!!) at Strive Compounding Pharmacy, I work at an amazing company that is in need of technicians at our Gilbert, Arizona location due to our ongoing growth!!
Please send your resume to
[email protected] We are also are hiring in Boerne, TX for Sterile Technicians and pharmacists!!
Please send your resume to
[email protected] We are looking forward to speaking with you!
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2023.06.02 00:30 Canttakeitanymoreman Living Nightmare: Tales of Chaos and Stress with an Inconsiderate Social Media Influencer Roommate
Subtitle: Terrible Living Conditions as Influencer Fails to Fulfill Basic responsibilities.
In an age dominated by social media, where virtual personas thrive and influencers rule the digital landscape, an alarming trend of real-life consequences is emerging. Living with a social media influencer can be a living nightmare, as an increasing number of individuals find themselves trapped in a chaotic and stressful environment, burdened by a roommate who fails to fulfill basic responsibilities.
.This influencer (M30) whose name I will withhold for privacy reasons, has gained fame and a substantial following online, but their offline behavior has left a trail of frustration, despair, and mounting debts.
The most glaring issues I face sharing a roof with this social media influencer is their complete disregard for financial obligations. Rent remains unpaid, bills go ignored, and pleas for contribution fall on deaf ears. This irresponsible behavior not only puts a strain on me but also creates a hostile living environment where stress and anxiety prevail.
Basic cleanliness is another realm in which this influencer has failed to deliver. The communal areas of the residence are left in a perpetual state of disarray, with unwashed dishes piling up, their cloths and laundry strewn across all common areas , and a general lack of regard for the upkeep of the property. Attempts to address these concerns have proven futile, as the influencer seems to prioritize their online presence and personal comfort over the wellbeing of those they share their living space with.
The toll this situation has taken on my mental and emotional health. The stress caused by living in such chaos has resulted in sleepless nights, increased tension, and strained relationships. Constantly feeling on edge and walking on eggshells has become the new normal, contributing to an unhealthy and unsustainable living situation.
Efforts to confront them about their behavior have been met with deflection, excuses, and an overall lack of accountability. With an inflated sense of self-importance and an obsessive focus on maintaining their online persona, it seems that the influencer has lost touch with the realities of everyday life and the responsibilities that come with cohabitation.
While social media has undeniably revolutionized the way we connect and share our lives, it is crucial to recognize that these virtual realms must not come at the expense of basic human decency and consideration for others. Roommates deserve respect, honesty, and accountability from those they live with, regardless of their online following.
As stories of living with inconsiderate social media influencers continue to surface, it is clear that this is an issue that warrants attention and conversation. Perhaps it is time for society to reevaluate the values we assign to online fame and influence, and ensure that the pursuit of virtual success does not compromise our offline relationships and personal responsibilities.
Until then, individuals unfortunate enough to find themselves sharing a space with a self-absorbed social media influencer must continue to raise their voices and demand change. Together, we can shed light on the challenges faced by these roommates and work towards fostering a more respectful and harmonious living environment for all.
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2023.06.02 00:29 Ok-Will-1283 What Should My Next Move Be?
Hey guys looking for some advice. I'm on the rebuild journey and just got my score up to a 620 fico, and 670-680 roughly on credit karma.
I have a 500$ AMEX Through capital one bank(I keep the balance under 21% ) just got it last month my first legit credit card since I messed up when I was younger. Chime credit builder (I try to spend as much here as possible so says chimes advice) A 17$ grow credit CC (it's for online subscriptions revolves on my report) A small dental loan I pay on time only 5 payments of 80$ left. And 3 collection accounts ranging from 450-700$ each. Ages 5 yo, 4yo, 1yo And about 25k worth of student loans I'm going to have to start paying in the coming months (September)
What do you guys think my next move should be to bring my score up and make me more viable to credit companies. The short term goal is to have 10k unsecured line of credit for emergencies only. The ability to get a car loan with interest rates that aren't in the high 20's(like my last car loan(car was totaled had gap insurance fully covered the costs). And be able to rent in a better neighborhood the place I barley got with my messed up score is decent but the neighborhood not so much 😮💨. So by the time my next lease is up I want to pay the same rent on a different side of town which is possible.
My train of thought is to pay off one of my collection accounts but I'm not sure which would help me the most, the newest account? Or the oldest one?
Credit karma advised me to get the Amex I have now and keep the balance under 27% I think which isn't hard my expenses are budgeted out it's my gas card until I hit the threshold I have in place then I'd use my credit builder from chime or debit.
I've added some screenshots below I hope you guys can see them and point me in the right direction
Also I've tried to dispute everything on my report and no luck I'm stuck paying them.
https://imgur.com/a/089S054 https://imgur.com/a/Hcju4UJ https://imgur.com/a/XHPdwKp https://imgur.com/a/W3OBaIz https://imgur.com/a/8JWextU submitted by
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2023.06.02 00:29 HappilyAHeathen Girlfriend deliberately let me think she was dead.
I mostly just need to vent about this. I'm a man in my late thirties. I spent the entirety of my twenties committed to one person and dated sporadically in my thirties with less than inspiring results.
Had been in a relationship with this girl for three or four months. She was about 8 years younger than me, worked part time as a barista and lived with her mother in a one bedroom apartment but she was incredibly sweet and enthusiastic and would do these sweet gestures like writing me letters about how excited she was to be with me and bringing lunch to me at work so I fell for her pretty hard and fast--dating in my thirties has generally been a pretty disappointing affair, with most women treating me like some kind of consolation settlement for not getting what they really wanted, so spending time with someone who seemed genuinely enthusiastic about me was.... like a drug.
After about four months or so she wanted to meet my family who I'm not on great terms with but I settled and took her to my brother and sister-in-law's place. While she was there, they let slip that I live... uncomfortably close to my mother--when the pandemic ended, my landlords hiked their rent beyond what I was willing to pay so I reached out to my mother's landlady who had what I needed but the catch was being essentially next door to her. I'm not on great terms with my mother so I spent the entire time living there trying to pretend her place wasn't a rock's throw away... therefore it never really occurred to me to mention it.
Anyway, when my girlfriend found out, she didn't handle it well and accused me of hiding things from her. I apologized and we had a very long talk about it and it seemed like things had gotten better for half a week or so. One morning she was leaving my place to go to a class and about five minutes after she left, my entire house began to shake--it turns out a tornado had torn through the area, ripped the roofs off of a number of businesses and residences--there was a car crushed under a tree all of about a block away from my home so when I got out to survey the damage I was immediately worried about her.
Texted her immediately and asked if she was okay but got no response. I work in tv so my entire day was occupied with covering the path of the storm and all of the damage it had caused in between trying to see if there was anyone who could safely check on her. By the end of what turned out to be a twelve hour day I was a shaking mess with still no response--and I wouldn't get one for another three days. It was nonchalant and completely unapologetic. After that response, I wouldn't hear from her for another week when I finally got upset.
She called and still didn't apologize, only giving me a lame excuse about not being in a good headspace but I was so happy to hear her voice for the first time since the tornado hit that I forgave her. For the next couple weeks we kept making plans with about a 75% chance of her cancelling at the last minute. During the last night we were together she found out that one of my best friends who she hadn't met yet (new mother, so not a lot of time for socializing) and I had dated very briefly about eight years before, proclaimed she was sick of the lies and stormed out of my home. She broke up with me via text and told me never to talk to her again.
In summary I guess this post is half complaining about ghosting and half me trying to figure normal people out... like I'm about 80% sure I'm some variety of on the spectrum but it wasn't really a thing that was tested regularly when I was younger and don't really care enough to bother now, so I guess I need to have normal brains explained to me sometimes. Should I move forward in life always ready to detail every bit of minutia about my life in explicit and immediate detail, such as exactly what proximity my mother's home is to mine and whether or not my best friend and I initially dated for a hot second before deciding we'd much rather be friends almost a decade ago?
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2023.06.02 00:29 FreshPrior2495 My (30m) partner (26f) has a severely low sex drive
Me and my partner met abroad doing international internships, both coming from different countries (EU).
Started dating after a couple of weeks and long story short i decided to move to her country with her and start a life.
Early on in our relationship (you think you’ve probably heard this one before) things were great in the intimacy department for about a year. Intimacy was happening multiple times a week and it was relatively good sex.
Once we’d moved, I got a well-paying job pretty fast (thanks tech sector). I managed to get citizenship reasonably swiftly and I got managed to rent a house. We were staying at her parents’ house before that.
During this time sex was becoming more and more sparse and much less initiated by her. Despite her trouble to find a job, self esteem issues and a general sense of guilt about me having to pay for anything, I never brought any of this up and was happy to pay her way as we have a happy enough relationship aside from the intimacy. We make food together, have conversations, go on holidays, do activities as a couple, do things with friends and love our pets.
At this point I attributed her low sex drive to the aforementioned downsides of her not finding work, self image issues etc.
That was four years ago. She’s since found a job - one she’s genuinely getting fulfilment from, we’ve bought a house together, have some pets.
Over that period of time, the frequency of our intimacy has diminished further. Down from once a month to once every couple of months to twice a year.
There’s been no cheating of any kind as far as I know, nor sexual pressure from either side. I have drastically reduced bringing it up as it seems to stress her even more about it. It’s really the only topic we have trouble discussing.
Having looked up the kind of articles we’re all familiar with about this subject, I’ve probably exhausted most of the potential causes (I’ll list them) but am therefore here for help.
Cause: asking too much Answer: in the period where the frequency was decreasing, i did ask once every couple of days if she was in the mood. Sometimes a little more creative than that, but getting rejected that often does discourage a man. I’ll now ask once every couple of weeks, hoping she’ll bring it up if the mood comes.
Cause: no meaningful connection with partner Answer: we manage to talk about sensitive or close-to-our-heart subjects regularly without dispute or a-sympathy. We talk about our days, plans and dreams
Cause: not finding enjoyment in sex Answer: I suppose I can’t guarantee this, however, she does initiate it sometimes and does so with a genuine playfulness and/or naughtiness.
Cause: stress Answer: work-related her job isn’t over demanding as I hear it, a healthy level of responsibility, she gets along well with her coworkers. On a personal level, despite the fact she’s aware of our intimacy issues, there’s no health issues in the familial vicinity, nor financial. Tasks are picked up equally around the house, ranging from laundry to dishes to food and cleaning.
Cause: no longer finding me attractive Answer: another one i can’t 100% guarantee, however, i stay in shape, haven’t changed much physically since we met, nor have I lost interest and neglect her emotionally as far as i can tell.
Im probably forgetting to mention things here but it’s 1am here, and came out of bed to write this as its keeping me from sleeping.
This is probably the first time I’ve even entertained the thought of what living alone would be like.
Any advice on how I can communicate my needs?
Looking forward to your insights. Happy to answer any and all questions.
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FreshPrior2495 to
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