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2023.06.01 22:41 IceQueenWeiss Selling epic games account + coupon 25% expire june 15
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2023.06.01 22:39 Tyranitron [Fanfic] A Beast's Heart Ch.40
Hey everyone! I managed to finally do what I planned and alternate fics with each chapter xD. I don't know what it is, but I get hyper focused here and there and then I can get such writer's block with certain things while writing but then get in a zone after managing to get past certain sections. Anyway, this is the second of three planned Linked Souls Day chapters, the next one being the last and from there just hopefully one more chapter that serves as a prelude and transition into the canon events. But don't quote me fully on this as it MIGHT turn into two chapters depending on if I can fit everything in it. But I'm excited to get into the canon material as I've had plans for it since 2020 xD. Anyway, I'm going to likely swap back to my Helluva Boss fic to do a chapter than swap back to this as I want to try to prevent any burn out. Fair warning, I might get a lil hyper focused on the HB fic, but I will do my best to keep a good balance and get back to this as soon as possible.
As I've said before both of these fics are passion projects that I intend to finish no matter how long it takes as I love writing in both worlds. Also, I'm still sticking to this being set pretty much in Japan given everything in canon and sticking to those sensibilities and laws while not neglecting my own western ones and other westerners. I know I've put the disclaimer bout the Nazomi and Sebastian relationship on every prior chapter focusing on then, I just want to make it clear each time this is being handled with care and the maturity it demands. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy and I might get the next chapter out maybe early next month or near the end of this one depending on how things go, but I WILL get it out.
Also, curious what everyone thinks about my introduction of a Valentines equivalent.
-------------------------------
After Shinoku and Vega left to meet up with Anya and Sheila, Sebastian took the time to finish getting ready for when he’d meet up with Nazomi. Just like his friends, Sebastian took his time to make sure that he looked good enough for their rendezvous, putting on some clothes he had that looked very similar to the Cherryton uniform aside from differing colors and other minor things. Also like Shinoku and Vega, he had gotten Nazomi a gift as well. After making sure he was good and ready for his meet up with Nazomi, Sebastian went back to reading to pass the time till he needed to head down the hill to meet up with her. As he waited, Sebastian heard his phone ring, quickly going to see who it was and answering it when he saw it was his mother.
“Hello Sebastian.” His mother said as he answered the phone. “I hope you’re well.”
“Hi mom.” he replied. “Yeah, I’m doing well.”
“That’s good to hear. How are your grades, I trust you’re keeping them high like you always do.” His mother inquired.
“I am.”
“That’s good to hear, you always do your best. Though, I’m not sure why you don’t do cram school like your brother did and your sister is doing. It’s nice that you work hard, don’t get me wrong, but I just want to make sure you’re living up to your full potential.” She said, her tone carrying that always subtle pressure of a proud lioness with high expectations.
And there it was; while she did care for him like any lion mother, she always wanted him to live up to the standards and the image of what a lion should be. Not that she was any different from any other lioness towards her kids, they all knew they had to make sure that the reputation of the king of beasts was maintained. It was an ever present driving force for lions; to stand apart, set the example, excel and push yourself to ever higher points and positions. It was both the greatest driving factor, and the most dangerous threat to a lion. While most would manage to get by and repress the toll it took or even thrive; for others, it would be far too much pressure. It was what lead to so many lions to go to the back alley, to form the likes of the shishigumi or join it.
Sebastian took a moment, the pressure of his mother’s expectations briefly showing before he quickly composed himself. “I understand mom, don’t worry, I have everything planned out.” he assured her. “I’m just tackling things in a way that allows me to give my full attention to my grades here. It’s not that I’m not interested in cram school, I just think it’s more logical to not have my focus split too much.”
“Always the analytical one my little Seby.” his mother commented. “But you only focus on your schoolwork and your reading, even your brother managed to handle doing cram school AND being on his school’s baseball team. He always did so well, even as a cub. Your sister’s also excelling in her gymnastics.” She added. His mother never overtly sounded disappointed, but the subtle nudges and constant reminding of his siblings’ achievements spoke volumes of her wanting him to be like them and every other lion. Why couldn’t she just understand that while he had the potential like every other lion, he just didn’t have the interest? Wasn’t it enough that they were bringing home trophies to show off?
Sebastian let the pressure he felt slip slightly once more before regaining his composure again. “That’s good to hear they’re doing so well…” he said in a cheerful voice. “You don’t need to worry though mom, I’ll make sure I get into a good college, plus all my teachers like me. Getting a recommendation good enough to be accepted won’t be hard to get.”
“True, your teachers always liked you.” His mother said. “But it’s just so rare for a lion not to do cram school. At least, in terms of the ones wanting to make a good life for themselves.” she commented in a veiled implication that a lot of the lions who chose not to were always trouble makers and bad seeds.
“I know mom.” Sebastian replied. “But I do have a career path set and I’m not going to stray from it.”
“And given the way you study and your grades I have no doubt. I can’t wait to hear what prestigious college you become the head over. But you might decide to be something equally important to society.” his mother commented. He never dared once to say he wanted to just teach, he didn’t even care where. All he ever said when what he wanted to be came up was something potentially in education and just smile and nod when his mother would suggest stuff. “By the way, have you found a nice lioness yet?”
“No, not yet mom.” Sebastian replied. He didn’t even dare to think about giving her a hint that he had found someone, knowing full well the questions that ensue about her and wanting to see a picture of or talk to her.
“That’s a shame, I hate to hear that you’re alone on Linked Souls Day. Are you looking?” his mother asked.
“Yes mom, I am.” Sebastian lied. “I’ll find someone, it just takes time for some.”
“But you’re so handsome, are you sure you’re looking or giving good impressions?”
“I am…” Sebastian replied as he held back a sigh.
“Alright. But just know that I have a few friends with very nice daughters, I could always introduce you to.”
Sebastian pinched his brow. “Thanks...but I’m sure I’ll find someone soon.”
“OK, just don’t get so caught up in your studies that you forget.” his mother commented. “Anyway, I need to get going, your father’s going to be taking me out for a romantic date. He says hi by the way.”
“I won’t.” Sebastian said as he composed himself once more. “And that sounds nice, tell him I say hello.”
“Sure. And Sebastian, keep working hard and making us proud.” his mother said before hanging up.
Sebastian let out a sigh as he hung up his phone, putting it back in his pocket. As he did so, Hassan looked at him. “I get the whole familial pressure, it’s not fun. I can only imagine what it’s like with being a lion.”
“She means well…” Sebastian replied.
“Clearly given the expressions you let slip.” Hassan pointed out. “I’m not trying to say your mother’s horrible, but her intentions aren’t exactly selfless.”
“It’s just how it is for us lions.”
“Well if you ask me it’s a bunch of bullshit.” Jax commented.
Hassan just shrugged. “Like Sebastian said, it’s just what it is. All we can do is just not let it get to us and forge our own paths the best we can when it comes to expectations.”
“Anyway, I better start heading out, it’s getting close to time for me to meet up with miss Nazomi.” Sebastian said as he stood up, walking over to get the flowers and gift for Nazomi.
“Sure you don’t need any help?” Hassan asked.
“I’ll be fine.”
Hassan nodded. “Alright.”
“Keep living the dream dude, maybe you’ll get to spend the night with her.” Jax said with a wide grin.
Sebastian just rolled his eyes at Jax before walking out to meet up with Nazomi, not even wanting to respond to the comment. As he headed down to the main floor of the dorm, Sebastian felt a combination of excitement and nervousness. It was his first time celebrating Linked Souls Day with anyone, not that he was ever really bothered about not being able to do so in the past. Sebastian also felt a bit guilty due to the fact that because he was a student and Nazomi a teacher, he couldn’t really do anything publicly with her let alone the fact that she was preparing the meal for them to eat.
Deep down he was a romantic at heart, much maligning the fact that he couldn’t be the one to treat her to a cooked meal. It didn’t really feel right that on Linked Souls Day she was doing most the work. It was just something that he would make sure to do in the future if things got that far with them. Although he still worried about being the potential cause of her losing her job. That, and exactly when and how he was going to introduce her to his parents when he was no longer a student. Hopefully he’d have it figured out when the time came.
Sebastian let out a sigh as he exited the boy’s dorm. Despite all the worries, he still deep down found himself hoping that this would work out. Even with the returning thought of this being just a potential rebellion against his parents and their expectations, he could not deny how he felt about the older feline. Especially with their first date still ever present in his mind. No matter what challenges or obstacles they might face, he was willing to face them, his resolve hardening all the more. Even if it ended up with them having to end things before something bad happened, he’d rather live knowing he tried his best than giving into the fear and not trying to fight for his own happiness.
It didn’t take long for Sebastian to leave the school and get down the hill to where Nazomi said she would be waiting for him, and as he got to their rendezvous spot he stopped. His eyes widened as he felt his heart about to beat out of his chest. Before him stood Nazomi next to her car, dressed in a rather nice satin button down green blouse and black business skirt with a slit on the left side that fit her perfectly. She looked beautiful, so much so that Sebastian felt his cheeks were on fire and his heart was about toleap out of his chest as he blushed, unable to really say anything for a few moments.
“W-wow…” he managed to say as he managed to walk over to Nazomi. “You look...amazing.”
Nazomi smiled a bit. “Thank you, I did try.” she said as she blushed ever so slightly. “I would have worn a dress, but I didn’t want to arouse any real suspicion…”
“It’s fine, there’s not a time I’ve seen you where you didn’t look beautiful.” Sebastian said as he continued to blush, rubbing the back of his head as he did so.
Nazomi blushed more. “You look quite handsome yourself, and just as professional as I do.” she commented. “At least it won’t look too suspicious...I hope.”
“I’m sure it won’t.” Sebastian commented before blinking. “Oh, right, I got you these.” Sebastian added as he handed her the bouquet.
“Awe, thank you love.” Nazomi almost cooed as she took the flowers. “They’re beautiful, I can’t remember the last time I got flowers...Thank you.”
Sebastian smiled as he then handed her a smallish wrapped box. “I also got you this.”
Nazomi blinked as she took the gift, opening it to see it was a bottle of perfume. Taking it out of the box she gave it a sniff. “It smells wonderful, I can’t imagine how much this was…”
“It’s nothing, I saw it one day and thought it’d suit you. So I saved up to make sure I could get you it for today.”
Nazomi smiled, tail flicking as a purr emitted from her throat. “You really are too sweet.” she said as she moved to put the gifts up and then hugged Sebastian. “Again, thanks.” she added as she gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Shall we?”
“Yes.” Sebastian replied, giving Nazomi a nuzzle.
The two got in Nazomi’s car, Sebastian first asking if he should maybe hide out of site like in the trunk only for Nazomi to insist that he sit in the passenger seat. Despite his concerns she said if anyone asked, she was just helping him get to Linked Souls Day meet up. Which, in the most technical sense was not a lie. Sebastian nodded, getting in the passenger seat before Nazomi started her car up and drove.
As They drove through the city to Nazomi’s house something hit Sebastian that he could not believe he didn’t think about even when he had first seen the female cat. “Hey, Mrs. Nazomi?” he asked as he looked at her.
“Yes love?” she asked.
“I just realized...you’re a bit tall for an oriental shorthair. It’s something I should have realized sooner, are you…”
“A mixed species?” Nazomi finished asking for him with a slight smile. “Most don’t really take note until they hit their growth spurts and outgrow me by whatever their heights usually are depending on species. But yes, I am.” she answered. “I’m one third panther on my mother’s side.”
Sebastian blinked, that would explain why she was a bit more ebony in her fur color and why she was taller than the typical shorthair. In fact, her coming up to just under the mid point of his chest hadn’t come off as odd until he thought about it. With some growth still to come, odds are she’d likely be at his gut or just over his waist by the time he finished growing. Not that it was really a problem or he minded, it was just an observation he made.
His eyes glanced over at the scenery as they drove, taking in the buildings and noting that they were sticking to a fairly nice part of town. He then glanced over at Nazomi, taking in how beautiful she looked with a blush, she really was quite something. Sebastian found himself moving his hand closer to hers when they stopped at a red light. Nazomi smiled as she noticed, her hand moving towards his as they held hands for a moment before the light turned green. It did become a thing though with each stop they had to make, both of them enjoying the sign of affection.
It didn’t take too long until they had entered in a rather nice looking neighborhood, about the kind Sebastian assumed Nazomi might live in. It was nice and modest and the house that Nazomi pulled in to was just as nice looking. Thankfully, most of her neighbors were either out celebrating the holiday or doing so in their homes.“Here we are.” Nazomi said warmly.
“It’s a nice looking home.” Sebastian said as the two got out.
“Thanks. It’s really nothing all that special, but it’s nice and cozy and it’s really all I need.” Nazomi replied as she got the gifts Sebastian had gotten before heading to the door with the lion, both their tails flicking and even entwining a bit as they approached it. When they got to the door Nazomi fumbled a bit as she got her keys to unlock it.
“Allow me.” Sebastian offered as he helped her unlock the door, opening it for her.
“Thank you.” Nazomi smiled as she took a quick look around before pecking his cheek. “I’ll put these up while you make yourself at home. I haven’t quite started what I was going to fix, so it will be a bit longer before we eat.”
“You haven’t?” Sebastian inquired. “Then mind if I help? I feel bad that you’re doing a lot of the work and it’s only right that I do everything I can for you today.”
Nazomi smiled as she looked at him. “You’re such a kind, sweet, animal Sebastian. I don’t mind, really.”
“I insist.”
Nazomi chuckled slightly. “You really are a gentleman aren’t you?” she mused.
Sebastian blushed a bit as he rubbed the back of his head. “I just...I want to do whatever I can. You’re a wonderful woman and a great teacher. And, well, I want to take any and every opportunity I can get to treat you right because you deserve it.” the lion said as he blushed some more, conviction clear to see in his eyes.
Nazomi couldn’t help but blush, his words having touched her more than anything in her past relationships. “Alright, how about this? If you want to help me then let’s make it a thing and finish cooking it together?” she offered with a smile.
“I’d like that.” Sebastian agreed with his own smile.
“Alright, just give me a moment.”
Sebastian nodded as Nazomi went to go put up the gifts that Sebastian jad gotten her. As she headed off, Sebastian found his eyes wandering over her form, taking in her figure that was shown off by her attire as well as lower, noting her slightly swaying hips and…tail. Sebastian cursed himself as he moved his eyes to something else. Sure he was still a teenager, a boy, but he prided himself in being better than most. Sure he had his...moments, as Jax so brazenly pointed out. But the last thing he wanted was to be that inappropriate towards Nazomi, even if he did, at times, allow some indulgences here and there.
When Nazomi got back she smiled. “Alright, ready?”
Sebastian nodded. “Yes.”
“OK, should be done in half the time with both of us working on it.”
Nazomi lead Sebastian to the kitchen to show him that she was preparing, a fruit lasagna with the usual accompaniments. After Sebastian looked over the recipe she was using, one from the cooking show Happy Happy Cooking that was toted to be one of their more popular ones among carnivores. he set to work helping her, working side by side as they prepared the fruit, making sure that everything was layered properly. Like in the car, ever now and then Nazomi and Sebastian would briefly hold hands as they prepared the meal, satisfying their feline proclivity for touch contact. It wasn’t too long before they had the lasagna in the oven and the accompanying bread.
“Alright, shouldn’t be too long for it to fully cook, thanks for the help.” Nazomi said as she nuzzled Sebastian, giving him an affectionate hug as well. “In the meantime, we can go over some of my old notes and other things while we wait to help you out with your career path if you like.”
“Sure.” Sebastian smiled as he nuzzled and hugged her back, the two staying like that for a good minute.
“I’ll go get them then.” Nazomi said as she finally and somewhat hesitantly separated to go get her old college notes and study material, returning shortly after with them.
While the food cooked Nazomi went over various things she had to study and learn with Sebastian, covering things they hadn’t gone over from prior times and quizzing him on material they had. To Sebastian, this was like cram school in a sense, getting ready for what he’d need to know to excel in college, only with a more...personal and romantic one on one touch. While he never had issue with paying attention to any of his teachers, Sebastian always hung on every word Nazomi said. To him, her voice was just as beautiful as everything else about her. And just like all the times before, they shared affections with each other.
It seemed like no time at all when the food was done, the two of them chalking it up to them just enjoying each other’s company so much. As Nazomi got the lasagna and bread Sebastian set the table before helping her prepare their plates. As he finished helping her he noticed her take out some wine glasses and a bottle of wine and pouring some of the red liquid in each, although one was more of a sample serving compared to the other, before putting it up and placing them on the table.
“Wine?” Sebastian inquired.
“Just to help things feel a bit more normal.” Nazomi explained. “You don’t have to even drink it. But I was your age once, Rex it only feels like yesterday, and even back then sampling wine wasn’t wrong. That first date we had where you encouraged me to not deny myself any wine, where we acted like a teacher and student just having a meet up to discuss things, stayed on my mind for a while. It wasn’t right that there was some inequality, a full romantic atmosphere. So, I figured sense we’re in private I’d have us on an even level or give the feeling of it. But as I said, you don’t have to drink it.” she said before sitting down.
Sebastian blushed, smiling as he sat down. “Thank you, love.” he said with a fair bit of warmth in hid voice.
It never ceased to surprise the other that both worried about the other’s feelings and the challenges they had to face with their secretive relationship. Something that mad each grow more attached to the other was when a few days after their first date Nazomi had confessed to Sebastian that she was far more hesitant and worried than she let on. Revealing she had been hiding the anxiety of them being a thing and was actually on the verge of suggesting they just call the attempt off out of fear as well as the revelation of his uncle. But she had decided to go through with it because of how truly genuine and good a man he was among other things that made her want to try. Sebastian himself had also confided in her his own concerns and worries about it and her, which made her just feel all the stronger for him over time.
“By the way, how has your day been so far?” Sebastian asked as he began to eat, taking a bite of the lasagna. “Oh, this is delicious.”
“It is.” Nazomi agreed as she took a bite of it. “It’s all thanks to you though, doubt it would have been as good without a little help.” she said with a smile. “As for my day, it’s gone well so far, just the usual grading of papers and preparing for the coming weeks’ lessons. Same old, same old, really. So far the rest of the students I have are nice and do there best. Despite what issues some might cause outside of the classroom I don’t really have to deal with any troublemakers really. Maybe a few slackers or an unmotivated student, but that’s about it.”
“Well you’re a great teacher, I find it hard to believe that any pf my peers would want to cause any trouble in your class. Not only that, but you’re very nice and helpful too.” Sebastian commented.
A smile formed on Nazomi’s mouth as her ebony fur darkened. “Thank you, you’re always so sweet Sebastian.” she said as she purred a bit. “Honestly, I think you’re one of the best students at the school, you work hard and are always so polite. I know you’ll go far with being a teacher.”
Sebastian blushed heavily. “Thank you…” he said with a half smile. “Though I will admit, keeping it up can be a bit— stressful. Comes with being a lion, expectations and familial pressure.” he admitted
Nazomi blinked as she looked at him. “Is it that hard?”
“It’s, well…”
Nazomi moved her hand to rest on top of his. “You can tell me if this is something negatively effecting you Sebastian.”
The lion sighed a bit. “It is hard. Being a lion you’re seen as the king of beasts, someone who’ll go far and have high positioned jobs or in some form of leadership. That image both helps and hurts us, becoming a driving factor of pushing ourselves as much as possible to keep to a standard. It’s something that permeates every lion family, the mothers and fathers pushing their kids to do something worthy of being a lion. Cram school is seen as an expected and normal thing to do and those who don’t do it are mostly looked down on as they are often those that end up in gangs or didn’t try hard enough.”
Nazomi’s hand gripped his, squeezing gently. “Is your family pressuring you?”
“Not...entirely. My mother often brings up what my older brother and my sister are doing and keeps suggesting I try to do the same. She doesn’t seem disappointed, but there’s just something about her voice…” Sebastian admitted. “She is happy that I’m doing well, but I know she expects more. She thinks I’m planning to go into an education position that’s high up, or at a prestigious university when I don’t care where I teach so long as I do some good.”
Nazomi squeezed his hand again, feeling bad for the lion. “That’s not all that good Sebastian, have you thought about bringing it up to a councilor?”
Sebastian shrugged. “Somewhat. But as I said, this permeates lions as a whole, it’s far too ingrained to really be dealt with. Thankfully my situation isn’t too bad, it cab be far worse. Plus, I like learning so it’s not that big of a deal. I also have my friends and, well, you.” he smiled.
Nazomi blushed heavily. “I see…”
“I hope I didn’t make things awkward or anything…”
“No, no! You’re fine Sebastian.” Nazomi assured. “It’s good you have a support system and you don’t really let it get to you, you’re very strong for that. Will you tell your mother you’ll try to teach anywhere?”
“Eventually, yes, when I’m nearing the end of my higher education and am about to apply to various places.” Sebastian answered. “Just like how I’ll tell her about us when I’m a bit into my freshman year at college or before I get into college if we get that far, which I hope we do and keep doing. You are an amazing woman and to be honest, to me you are far more exceptional than any other.”
Nazomi blinked, her fur becoming more dark red than ebony black as her heart melted. He was the kindest, most genuine soul she had ever met and continued to prove he was mature beyond his years. “I— thank you Sebastian.” she said with a soft purr, falling a fair bit more for the lion.
From there the two continued to talk as they ate, taking their time and enjoying each other’s company as they swapped stories about their childhood. Nazomi found herself surprised as she learned that even as a young kid Sebastian was well mannered and somewhat bookish. She felt comfortable around him, able to share with him more embarrassing things like the time she was so nervous to do a presentation in high school that she messed up a word or two or when she practically face planted when she was looking at a crush. It just felt right and natural to be so open with him.
When they had finished eating, Sebastian even having drank the small bit of wine, he and Nazomi cleared the table. Sebastian even helped her with the dishes before they went back to going over some more of Nazomi’s old papers and work to help prepare him. It seemed like no time once more as they noticed the sun was start to set.
“Is it really that late already?” Nazomi asked as she looked at her clock, taking note of the time.
“Looks like it.” Sebastian commented.
“My how time flies, it seems to go so slow until well…” she blushed. “I’m around you.”
Sebastian blushed heavily. “Yeah…”
“Thank you for the lovely time, as well as the gifts and helping out, not many guys are as considerate as you.” Nazomi commented.
“Well, you’re worth any effort…” the lion blushed.
Nazomi smiled, blushing as well. How could this lion keep finding ways to make her heart feel like it was a puddle? She hadn’t really met many guys with the ability to do that over the years, more so not in recent years. It had gotten to the point where she just really stopped looking. But then Sebastian came around and made her feel things she hadn’t felt in a long time. His gentlemanly studious nature and willingness to be so considerate, among other things, just had her more enamored with each time they were together. The fact that he was willing to take things so slow, deny himself the most basic of typical teenage experiences that most his age were having just made him seem too good to be true. And yet, there he was proving to be just that good.
Then there was the fact that while she did do a fare share for the holiday he had not only helped out, but went out of his way to get her flowers and a rather nice gift, not expecting anything special in return and just wanting to treat her right. As the lion got up from where they had been sitting she stood. “Sebastian, before I take you back to Cherryton...I think you deserve another kiss.”
Sebastian blinked as he blushed. “I don’t want you to feel obligated to…”
“No, I want to.” Nazomi admitted with a smile. “The only true thing that’s tricky with our relationship is that you’re a student and I’m a teacher. You’ve proven time and again just how good a man you are and that you are someone I...have looked for.” she blushed. “So I don’t see us kissing, at least in private and while off school grounds as being an issue. I know you’d never take advantage of me and I want to reward you for such, and for treating me to one of the best times I’ve had in a while.”
Sebastian’s tail started to flick happily as he smiled. “Alright.”
The two approached each other, embracing as they leaned in to share a kiss. Just like with their first, it was utterly electrifying for Sebastian. The feel of Nazomi’s lips unlike anything he felt before as his heart beat out of his chest as he started to purr. Sebastian enjoyed every second that the kiss lasted, his hands starting to subconsciously roam along her back a bit, though he would catch and restrain himself before they went too low.
Nazomi for her part pressed a bit firmer than last time, what with it being a holiday for love. As they kissed she noticed that Sebastian’s hands roaming along her back, taking in her form and the feel of her body and causing her to purr a fair bit. She smiled as she noticed he restrained himself from doing anything inappropriate, knowing her trust in him would never be misplaced. Although she promised to herself one day when he was no longer a student, she’d allow him to no longer restrain himself.
As she finally broke the kiss Nazomi smiled. “That was a wonderful kiss, possibly better than the first.” she giggled.
“Y-yeah…” Sebastian agreed, his cheeks a dark red.
“Thank you for being such a gentleman and not taking advantage.” Nazomi commented as they stayed embraced.
“I’d never.”
“I know love.” she smiled. “And that is why I will make you this promise. If we manage to make it to when you are out of school, then you have permission to not restrain yourself anymore as we’ll be in the clear. Not that you’d need my permission at that point” Nazomi giggled. “Anyway, we best get going before it gets too dark.”
Sebastian’s blush deepened all the more. “Yeah…”
The two headed back out to Nazomi’s car, first checking for anyone that might notice before getting in and driving off. The ride back went much like the first, the two briefly holding hands here and there as they made their way through the city. It was something that both Sebastian and Nazomi seemed almost unable to resist doing. Hell, when they had walked back to Nazomi’s car their tails entwined again.
When they got back to the bottom of the hill that Cherryton rested on the moon had not been fully risen for too long. “Thanks again for the lovely Linked Souls Day, I haven’t really celebrated it in so long.” Nazomi said as she parked the car.
“No problem, hopefully our next date can be somewhat soon.” Sebastian replied with a smile. “I hope the rest of your weekend goes well.”
“Thank you Sebastian, you too, I’ll see you Monday.” Nazomi smiled.
Sebastian was about to get out when he stopped. “Nazomi?”
“Yes?”
“Mind if we...have one more kiss?” Sebastian asked as he blushed.
Nazomi smiled as a giggle escaped her lips. “I suppose not, it’s only right to have a goodnight kiss after a date.”
The two leaned in close, sharing in one more kiss as they rested a paw on the back of each other’s head, purring loudly as they did so. When the kiss broke a few moments later Sebastian smiled. “Good night.”
“Good night love.”
Sebastian got out of the car, walking back up the hill as Nazomi turned her car around and left. The lion smiled as his heart continued to race, he was as happy as he had ever felt and was all the happier that Nazomi felt the same way as he did. While it was true their relationship had a strong possibility of stopping if they were ever in great enough danger of being found out, it seemed that she was daring for it to work as much as he was. Whether it did or not, only the future knew.
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2023.06.01 22:22 gisThrowy How I Went from Advair 250/50 Q12 and frequent PRN Albuterol to No Daily Controller
To be frank this community is a bit of a downer,
and I get it. There have been times where my life has felt completely hopeless due to my asthma, and that is why I have come to this community to share what I wish I had known about years ago. Will this work for you? Maybe, maybe not. Your outcomes are based on your own set of factors and there is not a one size fits all solution to this disease process. With that out of the way I feel compelled to tell you that I am a former respiratory therapist and my taper from medications was performed under the guidance of an asthma and allergy specialist.
I grew up in a household filled to the brim with animals, a seven cats at any time type of household. On top of that I have a parent who smoked indoors and in the car.
Throughout my childhood I had no idea that I always smelled like cigarettes. I distinctly remember being told in middle school that I smelled like a cigar, and it’s no wonder that teachers and students alike thought I was a drug user despite this not being the case. I was never able to participate in sports like the other kids. One day I had an episode at school and I was told by my mother that I must just be “overheated.” Things carried on with pseudoscience treatments such as facial steaming and vicks vaporub until one day
I could not breathe. I sat tripoding on the couch for hours before my parents finally buckled down and took me to the doctor where I was formally diagnosed with asthma, given albuterol, and placed on Advair 250/50 and Allegra, which I took throughout my adolescence.
Fast forward fifteen years. Things had not changed for me. My asthma was well controlled and as a result I didn’t think about it too hard, but I was very weak. I suffered from chronic neck and chest pain. The neck pain was close to unbearable and the only relief I got from the chest pain was an occasional sternum crack after which the pain would rapidly return. I began to learn yoga to try to correct some of this pain and thought I was learning and progressing but in actuality I was hyperflexible from weakness and did not understand how to stretch my body properly. It took some time to figure out that my yoga was doing me no good and that is when I turned to bodyweight exercises. I attempted squats, pushups, pull ups, and bodyweight shoulder pressing exercises. The exercises were all performed completely wrong and while I gained a small amount of muscle the pain went nowhere.
Fast forward again to the end of 2019. I was fortunate enough to find a barbell and plate set at good will for $10. I bought a power rack on craigslist and followed the training guide outlined here (
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVek72z3F1U&t=581s) and gained a significant amount of weight, somewhere in the ballpark of 30lbs over the course of the pandemic. At the time that this was occurring I became greatly interested in the Wim Hof Method and practiced cold immersion and the breathing exercises daily. The breathing exercises did not fix my breathing
but they made it clear that something was very wrong with the way I was doing it. I did not know at the time that it was due to my diaphragm not being engaged at all.
I ended up moving to the pacific northwest for a short time and while I was there I experienced a reduction in allergies the likes of which I was unaware were possible. It was like night and day, and when I moved back to the south east I was discontented at my newfound condition of feeling terrible all the time again. I continued to stay active in the gym and gained another ten pounds and this is when the wheels started to turn on my condition. In five years I went from 145lbs to 184lbs. This was the first time that I noticed acid reflux. I began taking omeprazole and felt a minor alleviation of symptoms though shortness of breath would occur after eating more often than not. I chalked it up to my stomach being so full that it was compressing my lungs. For the first time in my life I was overweight for my height, if only just slightly. I made the decision to cut 10lbs and began to feel better after doing so over the course of several months.
I moved again to a newly built apartment and noticed a slight improvement in asthma symptoms. I suspect that my previous place had a hidden mold issue but moving was not a total game changer.
I started shopping at whole foods and this was when everything clicked into place,
but not for the reason you’re probably thinking. I started to develop a facial rash underneath my eyes that was accompanied by an inflamed feeling. I had no idea where this was coming from but I was determined to get to the bottom of it, considering that it was
on my face.
I have found relief for asthma in fasting in the past but whenever I would eat again it would just come back, and we have to eat so it felt like it wasn’t worth messing with. This was right around the time that I began seeing my allergist. We went over the typical fare but she was surprised by my PFT, citing it as well above what she would have expected. It was then that she told me that what she suspected was not asthma so much as VCD (
https://www.mountsinai.org/locations/grabscheid-voice-swallowing-centeconditions/vocal-cord-dysfunction) She prescribed me pursed lip breathing exercises for when I felt symptoms coming on and they offered slight relief.
I began looking into factors that exacerbate VCD and discovered that reflux can be a major player. But what was I going to do to fix it? I was already taking omeprazole and tums as needed. This was when I started investigating the diaphragm’s role as it pertains to acid reflux (
https://erj.ersjournals.com/content/52/suppl_62/PA2446.) I figured that there really are no downsides to strengthening the diaphragm so down the rabbit hole I went. I found this reddit post on the diaphragm(
https://www.reddit.com/Fitness/comments/32wz2s/diaphragm_the_neglected_muscle/) and will be forever grateful to the op because this is when things began to change for me. If you are serious about changing the way your body functions forever do not skip this post. I will reiterate once more that
this post changed my life.
The more that I used my diaphragm the more I realized that
I hated eating. I never felt like I could breathe afterwards. I even ended up visiting urgent care due to chest pain and shortness of breath during this time as I was scared that there may be something wrong with my heart. Docs found nothing out of order, which allayed my fears of a heart attack but left so many questions on the table.
Why did I feel this way? I could not figure out the mysterious rash and it kept coming back and kept coming back. It was gross and I needed it to go away.
I was genuinely ready to give everything up to fix this. I started my elimination diet. I only ate meat, fruit, nuts, and vegetables. I stayed away from any type of dairy or gluten containing product. The difference was night and day. I went from feeling terrible every time I ate to feeling invigorated.
As time went by I felt that I needed to indulge in snacks and this is when I figured out the rash. As it turns out the rash is caused by any foods that contain sunflower oil. After not eating the way I used to it became very apparent that the sunflower oil was also causing some shortness of breath and all around itchiness as well as some joint pain in the hands.
Since starting this endeavor I have reintegrated dairy and wheat separately and have noted the following. Wheat causes chest pain and facial itchiness(for me), and dairy causes joint stiffness in my hands and back. Did I mention my favorite food was pizza? Double trouble on that one. (
https://acaai.org/allergies/allergic-conditions/food/wheat-gluten/),(
https://opa.org.uk/whats-the-link-between-dairy-and-acid-reflux/), (
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/asthma/expert-answers/asthma-and-acid-reflux/faq-20057993)
Now that I have eliminated those foods I have rapidly become more able to activate my core which helps a lot with pain in the distal parts of my limbs which up until this point have been burdensome.
The inflammation in my life began to subside and with it came the awareness of just how much mucous is sitting in my nostrils and dripping down into my throat at any given time. I remembered back to when I had been sick at the beginning of the year and was so stuffed up that I resorted to pouring water into my nasal cavity and just how much dark green mucous had come out when I did. I eventually came to the realization that all of the things that I inhale that cause me to flare up are just sitting inside of my face making everything worse. Nasal irrigation completely took the place of the fluticasone spray that I had used religiously in the past. I use a neti pot available at any pharmacy (
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62vm1Mb0T38).
The final thing I’d like to touch on is the chest expander. Until using an exercise band to perform the exercises listed in these videos(
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I2npj4EqCpk&t=977s), (
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1BpPPL6AWk&t=371s) I had no idea that my ribcage was severely atrophied from breathing like an asthmatic my entire life. My wife was surprised by how much muscle I had appeared to have gained from using it for only a couple of days and I intend to buy a nice chest expander when I become strong enough to need more. I have also begun to supplement kettlebell with inverted breathing patterns to further work the diaphragm with great success.
I am not here to try to sell you anything. I am just a normal person like you who has gone from coughing up green sputum on a daily basis to blowing “superhuman” PFTs. I have always been inspired by people like Joseph Pilates and B.K.S. Iyengar who supposedly overcame asthma with exercise and I feel that I have come one step closer to being like them.
As I said in the beginning of this post I no longer require the use of daily Advair and I only keep my prescriptions just in case. I am still sensitive to triggers like cigarette smoke, strong perfumes, and sickness but at the very least they no longer completely debilitate me. I have continued to take a daily allergy reducer in the form of cetirizine but I do not notice if I forget a day.
I know there is no one size fits all solution, but I hope that this post serves to expedite strides in a healthful direction for the members of this community. Good luck with your treatments.
TLDR: Read the post
submitted by
gisThrowy to
Asthma [link] [comments]
2023.06.01 22:10 BagDisastrous EU - PC - DEERISLE - Keycards - Airdrops - PVE/PVPzones - KOTH - Advanced Mods - Dark Horde And more! - 60slots
UKTF PC 60 slots - Welcome to our deerisle server
We are a chilled friendy community, with very active discord - Discord.gg/uktf
We are a pve server with a few pvp zones, just looking to chill and have fun? then we are for you,
Come and give us a try!
Below is a list of what we have to offer + much more !
• Traders
• Bitcoin Mining
• Keycard rooms
• The dark horde
• Collectable weapons
• Advanced Groups
• Advanced Garage system
• Spawn select with sleeping bag spawns
• King of the hill
• SNAFU Weapons
• Care Packages
• Collectable Items
• Base storage items with no limit
• Base building plus
• Black market trader
•Wide variety of cars and trucks to choose from
• Red Falcon Heli’s and Watercraft
• Rentable starter bases
• PVP is locked to 1st person when entering the area. No sneaky peaky around the corner in 3rd person. PVE is both 1st and 3rd person.
• No Raiding
• Friendly and active admins
• We host Frequent PVP and PVE events
• Find us here
https://discord.gg/UKTF Server name: UKTFFRESHWIPEPVE/PVP50KKOTHBTC-MININGADV.GROUPSHORDE
Address: 85.10.201.47:2302
Server version: 1.21.156201
Required game version: 1.21.0
Map: Deerisle
Players:60
submitted by
BagDisastrous to
DayZServers [link] [comments]
2023.06.01 21:45 fidelityportland TriMet's problems are exponentially worse than anyone is talking about
Public opinion of TriMet's decisions have been pretty mixed, mostly because TriMet's decisions are so convoluted that they can be a real challenge to understand. In reality, Metro and Portlanders need to have a bigger civic conversation about the future of TriMet, looking at the big picture. We have 3 looming existential crises of TriMet to be concerned about that are bigger than revenue dips, crime, or homeless people.
Civic leaders and the public are focused on a quick "fix" for TriMet revenue drops - even though we've seen this coming for a long time, it's very predictable that TriMet's Board of Directors acts at the last minute. Also, very predictably, TriMet's Board opted for a fare increase because over the previous 20 years that's been a go-to answer to every problem (except for that one time they killed Fareless Square). The politically appointed boards of TriMet and Metro lack the unique specialized knowledge of the issues I'll bring up here. If TriMet knows about these larger issues, they're obviously burring it from public view. In the short term, increasing fares is like putting fresh paint on a house that's on fire; in this situation, that paint is HIGHLY flammable.
First - fare hikes as a tactic is a brain-dead move. Just the most utterly stupid and self-sabotaging response to a looming budget shortfall. I'm dwelling on this because it illustrates their terrible decision-making, which is functional proof they have no idea what they're doing. Some of the core reasons for this:
- Increasing fares reduces utilization. Higher cost means fewer people ride, which will decrease the ridership revenue. It will also marginally increase the number of people who won't pay (funny story, some of those who don't pay actually can't afford to). TriMet isn't a monopoly or inelastic service, and plenty of other choices exist that didn't exist 20 years ago: an actual bike share, scooters, electric bikes, UbeLyft, shared vehicles, and more bike paths. Before the pandemic, it was common that I would bus into downtown for work and then take a Lyft home because it wasn't all that expensive, like $8 more than a bus ride - TriMet's price increases make a system that wasn't very competitive simply less compelling.
- Across Portland we need to go through a process of austerity and downsizing government. I absolutely support Wheeler putting a pause on rate increases, but for God's sake, we have far too much largesse in every layer of government. If you need to learn what I'm talking about, read my old article on Parks & Rec. So many divisions/agencies have doubled their staff while reducing service levels. It's bonkers. Cutting throats needs to be an imperative. This is because the great majority of public sector employees in Oregon and Portland are incompetent, redundant, and only exist because Oregon and Portland have been reluctant to use automation. And I don't mean the cutting-edge AI stuff, I'm talking about people who still handle business processes as if they're paper forms. I could tell so many stories from my professional experience - but you'll have to take my word for it for now: culling this bureaucracy is the right move, and until there's a significant downsizing, the political class is taking none of the financial crisis or cost of living situation seriously.
- TriMet's operating budget/revenue is primarily Payroll Taxes, not passenger revenue. About 20-30% of TriMet's budget comes from people buying fares, whereas the bulk of money TriMet needs comes from payroll taxes that businesses pay directly. Because of this, transit activists (including myself) have been proponents of increasing the payroll taxes marginally to make TriMet free for riders. Of course, fareless transit comes with a wide variety of new and different problems (that's an article for another time). Still, when you understand that only a sliver of revenue comes from fares, increasing the fare simply results in a marginal increase in revenue. The much bigger problem is going to businesses investing outside of Metro, and changing workforces that 1) won't pay payroll taxes reliably, 2) don't need people to go into the office. Think about the longer-term game here: is TriMet's board going to increase fares as utilization drops and payroll taxes continually diminish? (See my point above about how their default answer is "yes" because it's the only politically expedient answer.)
Reading comments about the fare hikes, most of the public thinks TriMet is dealing with a safety or utilization issue. Both of these are 100% true: soft-on-crime progressives have wholly obliterated the working class perception of TriMet safety - there are so many different ways this has happened, but we should thank so many people in the media and political class: Ana del Rocio's crying wolf about racism in fare inspections (and the media entertaining it), or Mike Schmidt deinstitutionalizing of the justice system, or Legislature's inability to act on the massive mental health crisis and drug addiction crisis in Oregon. No matter the underlying cause, we have a system where deranged violent mentally ill tweakers can be disruptive on the train, but working-class people face a $250 fine if they can't afford a
$2.50 ($2.80) ticket. TriMet is less safe, especially the light rail and bus lines. We could hypothetically talk about various policy and infrastructure changes, such as turnstiles and security guards - but pragmatically, this won't do shit when our society has adopted a philosophy of transforming the urban core into an open-air insane asylum and opened the doors to the prisons. This safety issue is well beyond TriMet's scope, and even if there was consensus among TriMet and Metro to solve this, the entire justice system and Legislature is still broken.
Fare Hikes and Utilization is the Red Herring - Let's talk about TriMet's future
In reality, multiple design choices made decades ago set us up for failure. But we also have to thank brain-dead progressive lunatics and corrupt politicos who have steered our transit decision-making into the ground.
There are three specific issues I'm going to talk about, with each becoming more consequential and disastrous for TriMet:
- Hub and Spoke Design and the need for a redesign of the entire system to fit new commuting/transit patterns
- Portland Light Rail's short cars are a capacity problem not worth the price tag to fix
- Autonomous vehicles are here, and it's just going to get worse for TriMet
The strategic design of TriMet's system is broken, and it's been broken before.
If you looked at a map of TriMet's bus and rail system, you'd see a design pattern often referred to as a "Radial Design" or sometimes a "Hub And Spoke" design. The Hub and Spoke strategy is building our transit system around centralized locations to connect to other routes. For Portland the idea is to go downtown (or sometimes a Park and Ride) where you can connect to your next destination. This is why the majority of bus routes and all the max routes go downtown, to our Transit Mall and Pioneer Square.
Downtown planning was a smart idea in the 1960s when it was coupled with Main Street economic theory and prototype urban development zones - all of this wrapped up in the 1972 Downtown Plan policy. During these decades, the primary economic idea of urban revitalization was that downtown cores could provide better business climates and shopping districts that amplify economic activity synergistically. In other words, packing all the office jobs and luxury shopping in one area is good for workers, business, and civic planning.
All very smart ideas in yester-year, so TriMet became focused on serving the downtown business community myopically. This myopia became so paramount that it was considered illegitimate (actually taboo, borderline illegal) if you used a Park & Ride facility to park and NOT ride downtown. Amanda Fritz once explained that we couldn't expand Barbur Transit Center because that would result in students parking at Barbur Transit Center and riding the bus to PCC Sylvania. This view implies that TriMet exists only to service downtown workers, not the students, not the impoverished mom needing to go to a grocery store.
How does TriMet's hub and spoke design represent its purpose?
Portland's unspoken rule of transit philosophy is that jobs pay for the system (remember, business payroll taxes pay for most of it), so TriMet should be focused on serving people utilizing it for their job - employers pay for it, and they get value out of it. But this is both unspoken (never said aloud) and largely unobserved. The whole idea of TriMet as a social service to serve low-income people, to help impoverished people - well, those ideas were just lukewarm political rhetoric that is tossed out as soon as some
Undesirable with tattered clothing reeking of cigarettes gets aboard - then Portlanders jump right back "this is for workers only!" Sadly, there hasn't ever been a public consensus of why TriMet exists because I could equally argue that TriMet's purpose isn't serving the working class; it's actually vehicle emissions reductions - but here, too, reality contradicts that this is the purpose for why we operate TriMet. TriMet's real purpose seems to be "Spend money on lofty capital projects" and if we want to be cynical about it, we can elaborate "
…because large capital projects enable grift, embezzlement, and inflating property values for developers."
We haven't always depended upon a hub and spoke design. A great article from Jarrett Walker written in 2010 on his Human Transit blog explains in "
The Power and Pleasure of Grids"
Why aren't all frequent networks grids? The competing impulse is the radial network impulse, which says: "We have one downtown. Everyone is going there, so just run everything to there." Most networks start out radial, but some later transition to more of a grid form, often with compromises in which a grid pattern of routes is distorted around downtown so that many parallel routes converge there. You can see this pattern in many cities, Portland for example. Many of the lines extending north and east out of the city center form elements of a grid, but converge on the downtown. Many other major routes (numbered in the 70s in Portland's system) do not go downtown, but instead complete the grid pattern. This balance between grid and radial patterns was carefully constructed in 1982, replacing an old network in which almost all routes went downtown.
Over the years the grid pattern was neglected in favor of a downtown-focused investment strategy. To a real degree it made practical sense: that's where the jobs were. But again, this is the presumption that TriMet and Mass Transit ought to service workers first, and there's not much consensus on that. But while we can't decide on TriMet's purpose, we can absolutely agree on one important thing:
Downtown is dead. No 5-star hotel is going to fix it. (As of writing, I'm not even convinced that this mafia-connected bamboozle of public fraud will open.) No "tough-on-crime" DA to replace Mike Schmidt, like Nathan Vasquez, will fix downtown. It's not JUST a crime problem: most of the problems we deal with today mirror the problems facing Portland in the 1960s, especially our inability to invest in good infrastructure people actually want to use. That's on top of crime, vandalism, and an unhealthy business ecosystem.
IF we want to maintain TriMet (and that's a big IF, for reasons I'll explain below), then it will be focused on something other than downtown. We need to move back to a grid-design transit system, as this is a much easier way to use transit to get around the city, no matter your destination. If TriMet continues to exist and operate fleets in 20-30 years, this is the only way it exists - because it will just be too inconvenient to ride downtown as a side quest to your destination, especially as we look at 10, 20, 30, 40 years from now.
Of course, we can only transform some parts of the transit infrastructure this way, and there are no uplifting and moving train tracks here. So light rail doesn't have a future in the grid system - but even without the grid system, light rail is doomed.
The fatal flaws of light rail in Portland.
I want to preface this by saying
I like light rail as a strategy, it's not a bad system or bad civic investment. I could write another 5,000-word essay on why Seattle did an excellent job with light rail and the specific decisions Portland made wildly incorrectly. In transit advocacy the wacktavists inappropriately categorized skeptics of Portland's light rail as some soft bigotry - as if you're racist if you don't like Portland's light rail - even though, ironically, most light rail systems tend to be built for the preference of white culture and white workers, precisely what happened here in Portland and most cities (but this is all a story for another time).
Portland's light rail system has a capacity problem and has dealt with this capacity problem quietly for the last 20+ years. When you see the capacity problem, you can quickly understand this light rail system won't work in the future. All the other smart cities in the world that designed light rail realized they needed big long trains to move many people. Portland decided to limit the train car length to the size of our city blocks to save construction costs - and this has always been a fatal flaw.
Portland's highest capacity train car is our Type 5,
according to Wikipedia it has a seating capacity of 72 and an overall capacity of 186 per train. Let's compare:
- Washington DC has 6-car trains capable of carrying 120 passengers per car, or 720 per train.
- Salt Lake City has a 4-car train capable of carrying 230 passengers per car, or 920 per train.
- Seattle's Link system has a 3 or 4-car train, each capable of carrying approximately 200 passengers per car, so 600 to 800 per train.
Portland's light rail lines have roughly the same people moving capacity as
a single lane of a highway, maybe marginally more, maybe marginally less. These other cities have a light rail system that can move the same amount of people
as an entire 3-lane highway. You might suspect that Portland could simply run trains more frequently - but nah, that's impossible because the trains run through the central core of downtown Portland, and they're blocked by the real interfaces with road traffic and bottlenecks. TriMet/PBOT/Metro has offered rosy ideas that we could hypothetically run cars every 90 seconds, 2 minutes, 4 minutes, or 6 minutes (depending upon who you ask) - but these are garbage numbers invented out of thin air. For example, you could stand at Pioneer Courthouse Square at 4:50pm on a Wednesday in 2016 - there was a train opening doors to load passengers, and you could visibly see the next train at Pioneer Place Mall pulling into the station behind. Trains were running at approximately a 3 to 4 minute at peak - but on paper, TriMet will claim anything, as they don't give a shit about lying to the public. But the bigger problem is that
trains were full. You might have to wait 90 minutes to find a train that offers a seat. And god forbid you had a bike.
I'm not making this very real capacity problem,
Metro even acknowledges:
At the busiest hours of the day, 40 light rail trains must cross the river and traverse downtown – one train every 90 seconds. As the region grows and the demand for light rail increases, the region will need at least 64 MAX trains through downtown every hour, more than one train each minute. Our current system can't support that change.
Suppose you're silly enough to trust government propaganda. In that case, you can read
the details of Metro study on this in 2019. If we assumed their numbers added up, it's just fucking impossible to run 62 trains per hour, because passenger loading and unloading can take a full minute (sometimes longer). So unless we want to apply substantial g-forces onto the passengers, the train isn't accelerating out of the stops fast enough. Not to mention how unreliable this whole system would be if a sole tweaker, bike rider, or person with a stroller held up the system for 2 minutes.
This is why the bottom line needs to be upfront about capacity - quoting Metro's study here:
Today MAX is limited to 2-car trains because of the length of downtown city blocks. A tunnel could allow for longer trains if the stations outside the downtown core are retrofitted. In the long-term, this could greatly increase MAX capacity.
Do you see that trick? Build a tunnel, yes - but the entire system has to be retrofitted. Literally every light rail station would need to be redesigned, the lines themselves recalculated for larger heavier trains - and extending platforms at Willow Creek might be simple enough, but how in the living fuck is Metro going to afford to expand the Zoo stop? Doubling the size of that platform would cost $500 million alone.
If the city weren't full of cheap dipshits, we would have elevated or buried our light rail lines in the 1980s or 90s, enabling longer train cars to run. Yes, we all knew back then that it was the best practice not to have light rail running on the street - it's less safe, less reliable, runs slower, and limits train car size.
Oops. Just to keep TriMet's own bullshit inflated utopian vision, it would mean spending another billion dollars just to unfuck downtown, bypass an aging bridge, and potentially allow a marginally higher volume of trains - which again is a band-aid on a mortal wound.
The real buried lede is that
to add extra train cars means retrofitting all the stops in the system - that's
tens of billions of dollars. You can argue costs, but Metro knows we need to do this. It means shutting down the system for a year or years while construction and retrofits happen. It's fucking outrageous. Is this system worth of people per line worth 20, 30, or 40 billion dollars? Fuck no, it ain't. Again, if we had a raging metropolis of industry and commerce downtown, we could reasonably entertain the idea for a moment - but we don't and never will again.
Some folks might argue that if we kill off the light rail system we'd lose out on all those lucrative Transit Oriented Developments. Originally the public was told that Transit Oriented Development strategy would cause a massive infusion of private investment because the light rail was so damn lucrative and desirable for Richard Florida's Creative Class. Turns out the Creative Class is now called today the Laptop Class, and they don't give a flying fuck about street cars, light rail, or walking scores - because most can't be bothered to put pants on during their "commute" from bed to desk. TOD was all a fantasy illusion from the beginning, as multiple studies about Portland commuters showed that college-educated white folks riding Max were equally comfortable riding their bike as a substitute for the same commute. All of these billions of dollars was to accommodate white fare-weather bikers. So here's my hot take on transit: pave over the rail lines and put in bike lanes, and boy, then you'd have a bike system to give folks like Maus a hardon. But of course, Bike Portland would complain because their focus isn't biking; they exist only to favor all poorly thought utopian transit ideas.
Another group of Max/TOD advocates would claim that TOD is better for disabled and impoverished people. And yeah, there's truth there, but see my entire argument above about the Hub & Spoke design of TriMet being the antithesis of transit as a social service. If you believe that TriMet should serve low-income people, you must advocate for a bus-centric grid design.
But even if you're a die-hard believer in light rail - there's another inevitable reality coming that is the nail in the coffin.
Autonomous vehicles will replace mass transit faster than the automobile replaced the horse.
I work in advanced technology, and the thing about tech is that the public and politicians deny that it's going to be there until the majority of the public finally experiences it. You could say this about personal computers, internet, cloud compute, electric cars, smartphones, distributed ledger (cryptocurrency), AI, and driverless vehicles.
Schrodinger's technology doesn't exist until it's measured in an Apple store or your mother asks you for tech support.
No one thought AI
was really real until ChatGPT did their kid's homework, and today most people are coming to terms with the fact that ChatGPT 3.5 could do most people's jobs. And that's not even the most advanced AI, that's the freeware put out by Microsoft, they have paywalls to access the real deal.
In 2018 I rode in my colleague's Tesla in self-driving mode from downtown Portland to Top Golf in Hillsboro. We started our journey at the surface parking lot on the west side of the Morrison Bridge. He used his phone to tell the car to pull out of the parking spot and to pick us up. Then he gave the car the address, and it drove us the entire way without any human input necessary. The only time he provided feedback was to touch the turn signal to pass a slow car on the highway. People think self-driving isn't here - but it is - and it's gotten exponentially better and will continue to do so. People will complain and moan about idealized, utopian, pedantic "level 5" full self-driving, how none of it exists or could exist, as a Tesla passes them on the road and the driver is half asleep.
Of course, Portland and every major city have also thought deeply about self-driving technology, and a few places have implemented self-driving solutions - but so far, none of these are really at scale. Though it will be a short time before cost-conscious cities go all-in.
TriMet kicked around the idea of using an autonomous bus for a leg of the trip of the Southwest Corridor project, connecting a segment of the light rail route to the community college. It was bafflingly stupid and short-sighted to think they could use it in this niche application but that it wouldn't open the floodgates for a hundred different applications that eviscerate TriMet's labor model. The simplest example of autonomous operation would be to operate the light rail systems - because they don't make turns, all we need is an AI vision service to slam on the breaks if necessary - that technology has existed for 20+ years. We could retrofit the entire train system in about 3 to 6 months - replace every Max operator with a security guard, and maybe people would ride the Max again? But I digress.
Let's speculate about the far-future, some 5, 10, or 20 years from now: your transit options will expand significantly. The cost will decrease considerably for services using automated vehicles.
You'll look at your options as:
- Drive to work: fastest, takes $100+ worth of gas a month, but you also need $50+ for insurance and $500+ for the monthly car payment, plus those surprise maintenance and broken windows. Also, do you pay for parking? Pick a number for how much it costs to drive your personally owned and manually operated vehicle to work each month.
- Autonomous vehicle service: price TBA, but think of how much an Uber costs when you don't have to pay the driver, you don't have to pay for gas. An Uber that runs for $20 today would likely be $10 or less. So, to and from work 20 times a month, $200. $300? Ok, let's just say it's $400 a month. It's still all cheaper than owning a car and driving it to work. No parking fees, and it picks you up quickly enough that it's not a nuisance.
- Mass Transit: $150 per month, but ugghhh it's slow, it smells like piss, a guy jacked off in your hair, and you can't schedule a meeting for the first 30 minutes of your anticipated workday in case you miss a connection - and it breaks so often the government actively hides the reliability data from the public and media.
Just a few years into this future we'll see a brand new trend, one that already exists: a shared autonomous vehicle like a privately operated bus. For example, Uber Bus - it already exists as a commuter option in some cities, it's just not autonomous yet. The significant benefit of an autonomous bus is that these shared vehicles will utilize HOV lanes very commonly, and commuting in an autonomous vehicle will be as fast as driving to work in your manually operated car while also being less expensive.
Simultaneously automobile accidents in autonomous vehicles will be virtually non-existent, and insurance companies will start to increase prices on vehicles that lack AI/smart assisted safety driving features. Public leaders will see the value of creating lanes of traffic on highways dedicated explicitly to autonomous vehicles so that they can drive at much higher speeds than manually operated traffic. Oregon won't lead the way here, but wait until Texas or one of the Crazy States greenlights a speed limit differential, and self-driving vehicles have a speed limit of 90, 120, or 150 miles per hour. You might think "accidents would be terrible and deadly" but there will be fewer accidents in the autonomous lane than in manual lanes. At this point, it will be WAY faster to take an autonomous vehicle to your work.
Purchasing power of consumers will decrease while the cost of vehicles will increase (especially autonomous vehicles), making ownership of any vehicle less likely. Frankly, the great majority of people won't know how to drive and will never learn to - just like how young people today don't know how to use manual transmission. However, fleets of autonomous vehicles owned by companies like Tesla, Uber, and Lyft will benefit from scale and keep their autonomous bus fleets operating at low cost. This will lead to a trend where fewer and fewer people will own an automobile, and fewer people even bother learning how to drive or paying the enormous insurance cost.... while also depending upon automobiles more than we do today.
Eventually, in the distant future, manually driven vehicles will be prohibited in urban areas as some reckless relic from a bygone era.
Cities and public bodies don't have to be cut out of this system if they act responsibly. For example, cities could start a data brokering exchange where commuters provide their commuting data (i.e., pick-up point, destination, arrival time). The government uses either a privatized fleet or a publicly owned fleet of autonomous vehicles to move as many people as possible as often as possible. Sort of a publicly run car-pool list - or a hyper-responsive bus fleet that runs for the exact passengers going to exact locations. A big problem companies like Uber, Lyft, and Tesla will have is that they'll lack market saturation to optimize commuting routes - they'll be able to win unique rides, but the best way they can achieve the lowest cost service model is these super predictable and timely commuter riders. The more data points and riders, the more optimization they can achieve. These companies can look at the data for as many people as possible and bid for as many routes as possible - optimizing for convenience, time, energy usage, emissions, etc. The public will voluntarily participate if this is optimized to get the cheapest ride possible. If the government doesn't do this, the private sector will eventually.
As a parallel, no one today even considers how Metro runs garbage collection. No one cares. And if you didn't like Metro's trash service, if you needed a better service for unique needs, you go procure that on your own. Likewise, you wouldn't care about the quality of the commuting trip as long as it's up to some minimal standards of your class expectations, it's reliable, nearly as quick as driving your own vehicle, and it seems reasonably affordable.
If the public ran this data exchange, fees could subsidize lower-income riders. This is a theory on what a TriMet like system or mass transit system could look like in a primarily autonomous world where most people don't own their own or drive an automobile.
This system would be far from perfect, opening up all sorts of problems around mobility. However, it's hard to see how autonomous vehicles will not obliterate the value proposition of mass transit.
Another narrative on the same story.
As the working class moves to autonomous vehicles, transit agencies will collect fewer and fewer fares - prices and taxes will rise, creating a cycle of failure. As a result, some cities will make buses self-driving to cut costs. It could start with Tokyo, Shanghai, Oslo, et al. Again, it's unlikely that Portland or Oregon will be the first movers on this, but when cities start laying off hundreds of mass transit operators and cutting fares to practically nothing, there will be substantial public pressure to mimic locally. It will be
inhumane, it will be
illiberal, to make those impoverished bus-riding single mothers pay premiums. As most of the fleet becomes autonomous, responsive, and disconnected from labor costs, the next question arises: why do we still operate bus routes? Why big buses instead of smaller and nimble vehicles?
This alternative story/perspective leads to the same outcome: we figure out where people are going and when they need to get there - then dispatch the appropriate amount of vehicles to move that exact number of people as efficiently as possible.
But our local government getting its act together on all this is outside the world of possibility.
In a practical sense, we're going to see history repeat itself. Portland's mass transit history is about private and public entities over-extending themselves, getting too deep in debt on a flawed and outdated idea. As a result, the system collapses into consolidation or liquidation. Following this historical pattern, TriMet/Metro won't respond to changing conditions fast enough, and laughably stupid ideas like cranking up taxes or increasing ridership fares will continue to be the only option until the media finally acknowledges these groups are insolvent. I just hope we don't spend tens of billions of dollars propping up this zombie system before we can soberly realize that we made some mistakes and these vanity-laden projects 20 and 30 years ago need to die.
You see, the biggest flaw with TriMet isn't the design, it needs to be outpaced by technology, it's that the people making decisions at TriMet and Metro are going to make the politically expedient decisions, not the right decisions. They won't redesign, and they won't leverage technology for cost savings, so this charade will just get going along until the media simply declares they're insolvent.
Back to fares for a second - the media happily reprints TriMet's horseshit take about "
The higher fares will bring in an estimated $4.9 million in annual revenue starting next year, the report says." Just sort of amazing to me there's no skepticism about this number - but most spectacular is no media considerations about alternative solutions. For example, I could tell TriMet how to save
$9,548,091 next year - a useless program primarily utilized by white middle-class folks who own alternative methods of transport - and this would inconvenience way less transit-dependent people than raising fares. But, that's off the table - we're not even developing a decision matrix for when we kill the blackhole of money known as WES.
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2023.06.01 21:35 LoosieGoosi 36yo M4M Chubby Crossdresser by Gage Park
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I am only available after 11pm.
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2023.06.01 21:31 Clay_Bricks Every retiring LEGO set (June 2023 update)
Another month, another retirement update! A lot of sets changed dates this month, and even more new sets got added! Which reminds me, I'm considering making a
/legoleak Discord server in order to expand more on leaks, answer questions, and provide daily retirement updates. If there's interest in that, I'll work on having it done before the next list!
As always, we owe a massive thanks to
ZombieYeti from the
BrickHound Discord for providing this valuable data. If you're looking for real-time in-stock/deal alerts for Lego.com and other sites, make sure to check out his server:
https://discord.gg/BwezK2t5qf This information is scraped directly from Lego's website, and all dates are subject to change.
ZombieYeti is currently developing a website to host this data and offer real-time updates. In the meantime, here is a list of every set and their corresponding retirement date as per LEGO's system!
FULL LIST ON GOOGLE SHEETS HERE <-- If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask. Due to Reddit's character limits, we can't include everything here, but the full spreadsheet contains every set.
CHANGES IN JUNE: Theme | Set # | Set Name | Old Date | New Date | Change |
Avatar | 75577 | Mako Submarine | Dec 31, 2024 | Dec 31, 2023 | -1 year |
Avatar | 75578 | Metkayina Reef Home | Dec 31, 2024 | Dec 31, 2023 | -1 year |
Classic | 11020 | Build Together | Dec 31, 2024 | Dec 31, 2023 | -1 year |
Duplo | 10966 | Bath Time Fun: Floating Animal Island | Dec 31, 2024 | Dec 31, 2023 | -1 year |
City | 60388 | Gaming Tournament Truck | Dec 31, 2023 | Dec 31, 2024 | +1 year |
Creator | 31143 | Birdhouse | Dec 31, 2023 | Dec 31, 2024 | +1 year |
Friends | 41735 | Mobile Tiny House | Dec 31, 2023 | Dec 31, 2024 | +1 year |
Harry Potter | 75969 | Hogwarts Astronomy Tower | Dec 31, 2023 | Dec 31, 2024 | +1 year |
Icons | 10306 | Atari 2600 | Dec 31, 2023 | Dec 31, 2024 | +1 year |
Ideas | 21331 | Sonic the Hedgehog - Green Hill Zone | Dec 31, 2023 | Dec 31, 2024 | +1 year |
Jurassic Park / World | 76946 | Blue & Beta Velociraptor Capture | Dec 31, 2023 | Dec 31, 2024 | +1 year |
Jurassic Park / World | 76951 | Pyroraptor & Dilophosaurus Transport | Dec 31, 2023 | Dec 31, 2024 | +1 year |
Marvel | 76226 | Spider-Man Figure | Dec 31, 2023 | Dec 31, 2024 | +1 year |
Marvel | 76241 | Hulk Mech Armor | Dec 31, 2023 | Dec 31, 2024 | +1 year |
Marvel | 76243 | Rocket Mech Armor | Dec 31, 2023 | Dec 31, 2024 | +1 year |
Marvel | 76245 | Ghost Rider Mech & Bike | Dec 31, 2023 | Dec 31, 2024 | +1 year |
Marvel | 76256 | Ant-Man Construction Figure | Dec 31, 2023 | Dec 31, 2024 | +1 year |
Speed Champions | 76906 | 1970 Ferrari 512 M | Dec 31, 2023 | Dec 31, 2024 | +1 year |
Speed Champions | 76907 | Lotus Evija | Dec 31, 2023 | Dec 31, 2024 | +1 year |
Star Wars | 75333 | Obi-Wan Kenobi's Jedi Starfighter | Dec 31, 2023 | Dec 31, 2024 | +1 year |
Star Wars | 75344 | Boba Fett's Starship Microfighter | Dec 31, 2023 | Dec 31, 2024 | +1 year |
Technic | 42138 | Ford Mustang Shelby GT500 | Dec 31, 2023 | Dec 31, 2024 | +1 year |
NEW SETS ADDED: Theme | Set # | Set Name | Retirement Date |
City | 60381 | City Advent Calendar 2023 | Dec 31, 2023 |
Friends | 41758 | Friends Advent Calendar 2023 | Dec 31, 2023 |
Harry Potter | 76418 | Harry Potter Advent Calendar 2023 | Dec 31, 2023 |
Marvel | 76267 | Marvel Advent Calendar 2023 | Dec 31, 2023 |
Ninjago | 71777 | Kai's Dragon Power Flip | Dec 31, 2023 |
Ninjago | 71778 | Nya's Dragon Power Drift | Dec 31, 2023 |
Ninjago | 71779 | Lloyd's Dragon Power Spin | Dec 31, 2023 |
Star Wars | 75366 | Star Wars Advent Calendar 2023 | Dec 31, 2023 |
Batman | 30653 | Batman 1992 Polybag | Dec 31, 2024 |
Batman | 76224 | Batmobile: Batman vs. The Joker Chase | Dec 31, 2024 |
Batman | 76252 | Batcave – Shadow Box | Dec 31, 2024 |
Batman | 76264 | Batmobile Pursuit: Batman vs. The Joker (4+) | Dec 31, 2024 |
Batman | 76265 | Batwing: Batman vs. The Joker | Dec 31, 2024 |
City | 60367 | Passenger Airplane | Dec 31, 2024 |
City / 2K Drive | 60395 | Combo Race Pack | Dec 31, 2024 |
City / 2K Drive | 60396 | Modified Race Cars | Dec 31, 2024 |
City / 2K Drive | 60397 | Monster Truck Race | Dec 31, 2024 |
Creator | 31144 | Exotic Pink Parrot | Dec 31, 2024 |
DREAMZzz | 40657 | Dream Village | Dec 31, 2024 |
Friends | 41756 | Holiday Ski Slope and Café | Dec 31, 2024 |
Friends | 41760 | Igloo Holiday Adventure | Dec 31, 2024 |
Harry Potter | 76419 | Hogwarts Castle and Grounds | Dec 31, 2024 |
Harry Potter | 76421 | Dobby the House-Elf | Dec 31, 2024 |
Icons | 40634 | Icons of Play | Dec 31, 2024 |
Mario | 71422 | Picnic at Mario's House | Dec 31, 2024 |
Marvel | 76249 | Venomised Groot | Dec 31, 2024 |
Marvel | 76261 | Spider-Man Final Battle | Dec 31, 2024 |
Marvel | 76262 | Captain America's Shield | Dec 31, 2024 |
Marvel | 76263 | Iron Man Hulkbuster vs. Thanos (4+) | Dec 31, 2024 |
Marvel | 76266 | Endgame Final Battle | Dec 31, 2024 |
Minecraft | 21247 | The Axolotl House | Dec 31, 2024 |
Minecraft | 21248 | The Pumpkin Farm | Dec 31, 2024 |
Minecraft | 21249 | The Crafting Box 4.0 | Dec 31, 2024 |
Minecraft | 21250 | The Iron Golem Fortress | Dec 31, 2024 |
Ninjago | 71789 | Kai and Ras's Car and Bike Battle (4+) | Dec 31, 2024 |
Ninjago | 71790 | Imperium Dragon Hunter Hound | Dec 31, 2024 |
Ninjago | 71791 | Zane's Dragon Power Spinjitzu Race Car | Dec 31, 2024 |
Ninjago | 71792 | Sora's Transforming Mech Bike Racer | Dec 31, 2024 |
Ninjago | 71793 | Heatwave Transforming Lava Dragon | Dec 31, 2024 |
Ninjago | 71794 | Lloyd and Arin's Ninja Team Mechs | Dec 31, 2024 |
Ninjago | 71795 | Temple of the Dragon Energy Cores | Dec 31, 2024 |
Ninjago | 71796 | Elemental Dragon vs. The Empress Mech | Dec 31, 2024 |
Ninjago | 71797 | Destiny's Bounty - Race Against Time | Dec 31, 2024 |
Ninjago | 71798 | Nya and Arin's Baby Dragon Battle (4+) | Dec 31, 2024 |
Sonic | 76993 | Sonic vs. Dr. Eggman's Death Egg Robot | Dec 31, 2024 |
Star Wars | 75359 | 332nd Ahsoka's Clone Trooper Battle Pack | Dec 31, 2024 |
Star Wars | 75360 | Yoda's Jedi Starfighter | Dec 31, 2024 |
Star Wars | 75365 | Yavin 4 Rebel Base | Dec 31, 2024 |
Star Wars | 75368 | Darth Vader Mech | Dec 31, 2024 |
Star Wars | 75369 | Boba Fett Mech | Dec 31, 2024 |
Star Wars | 75370 | Stormtrooper Mech | Dec 31, 2024 |
Duplo | 10987 | Recycling Truck | Dec 31, 2025 |
Duplo | 10994 | 3-in-1 Family House | Dec 31, 2025 |
Duplo | 10997 | Camping Adventure | Dec 31, 2025 |
Ninjago | 71799 | NINJAGO City Markets | Dec 31, 2025 |
Technic | 42161 | Lamborghini Huracán Tecnica | Dec 31, 2025 |
Icons | 10323 | PAC-MAN Arcade | Dec 31, 2026 |
Technic | 42160 | Audi RS Q e-tron | Dec 31, 2026 |
SETS RETIRING IN 2023: Theme | Set # | Set Name | Retirement Date |
Classic | 11015 | Around the World | Jul 31, 2023 |
Creator | 31123 | Off-Road Buggy | Jul 31, 2023 |
Disney | 10780 | Mickey and Friends Castle Defenders | Jul 31, 2023 |
Disney | 43203 | Aurora, Merida and Tiana's Enchanted Creations | Jul 31, 2023 |
Dots | 41962 | Unicorn Creative Family Pack | Jul 31, 2023 |
Mario | 71404 | Goomba's Shoe | Jul 31, 2023 |
Mario | 71407 | Cat Peach Suit and Frozen Tower | Jul 31, 2023 |
Mario | 71409 | Big Spike's Cloudtop Challenge | Jul 31, 2023 |
Mario | 71412 | Big Bad Island | Jul 31, 2023 |
Mindstorms | 51515 | Robot Inventor | Jul 31, 2023 |
Minecraft | 21187 | The Red Barn | Jul 31, 2023 |
Ninjago | 71738 | Zane's Titan Mech Battle | Jul 31, 2023 |
Ninjago | 71754 | Water Dragon | Jul 31, 2023 |
Ninjago | 71756 | Hydro Bounty | Jul 31, 2023 |
Ninjago | 71759 | Ninja Dragon Temple (4+) | Jul 31, 2023 |
Ninjago | 71762 | Kai's Fire Dragon EVO | Jul 31, 2023 |
Ninjago | 71770 | Zane's Golden Dragon Jet | Jul 31, 2023 |
Ninjago | 71773 | Kai's Golden Dragon Raider | Jul 31, 2023 |
Technic | 42129 | 4x4 Mercedes-Benz Zetros Trial Truck | Jul 31, 2023 |
Minifigures | 71038 | LEGO® Minifigures Disney 100 | Aug 31, 2023 |
Architecture | 21054 | The White House | Dec 31, 2023 |
Art | 31203 | World Map | Dec 31, 2023 |
Art | 31205 | Jim Lee Batman Collection | Dec 31, 2023 |
Art | 31206 | The Rolling Stones | Dec 31, 2023 |
Art | 31207 | Floral Art | Dec 31, 2023 |
Avatar | 75571 | Neytiri & Thanator vs. AMP Suit Quaritch | Dec 31, 2023 |
Avatar | 75573 | Floating Mountains: Site 26 & RDA Samson | Dec 31, 2023 |
Avatar | 75577 | Mako Submarine | Dec 31, 2023 |
Avatar | 75578 | Metkayina Reef Home | Dec 31, 2023 |
Batman | 76181 | Batmobile: The Penguin Chase | Dec 31, 2023 |
Batman | 76220 | Batman versus Harley Quinn (4+) | Dec 31, 2023 |
Brickheadz | 40540 | Lion Dance Guy | Dec 31, 2023 |
Brickheadz | 40541 | Manchester United Go Brick Me | Dec 31, 2023 |
Brickheadz | 40542 | FC Barcelona Go Brick Me | Dec 31, 2023 |
Brickheadz / Avatar | 40554 | Jake Sully & his Avatar | Dec 31, 2023 |
BrickHeadz / Disney | 40377 | Donald Duck | Dec 31, 2023 |
BrickHeadz / Disney | 40378 | Goofy & Pluto | Dec 31, 2023 |
BrickHeadz / Disney | 40476 | Daisy Duck | Dec 31, 2023 |
BrickHeadz / Disney | 40477 | Scrooge McDuck, Huey, Dewey & Louie | Dec 31, 2023 |
BrickHeadz / Disney | 40550 | Chip & Dale | Dec 31, 2023 |
BrickHeadz / Disney | 40553 | Woody and Bo Peep | Dec 31, 2023 |
BrickHeadz / Disney | 40622 | Disney 100th Celebration (Oswald, Mickey, Snow White, Tinker Bell) | Dec 31, 2023 |
BrickHeadz / Harry Potter | 40495 | Harry, Hermione, Ron & Hagrid | Dec 31, 2023 |
BrickHeadz / Harry Potter | 40560 | Professors of Hogwarts | Dec 31, 2023 |
BrickHeadz / Minecraft | 40624 | Alex | Dec 31, 2023 |
BrickHeadz / Minecraft | 40625 | Llama | Dec 31, 2023 |
BrickHeadz / Minecraft | 40626 | Zombie | Dec 31, 2023 |
BrickHeadz / Star Wars | 40539 | Ahsoka Tano | Dec 31, 2023 |
BrickHeadz / Star Wars | 40623 | Battle of Endor Heroes | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 30590 | Farm Garden & Scarecrow Polybag | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 30638 | Police Bike Training Polybag | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 30639 | Dog Park and Scooter Polybag | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 41723 | Donut Shop | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 41726 | Holiday Camping Trip | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60253 | Ice-Cream Truck | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60313 | Space Ride Amusement Truck | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60314 | Ice Cream Truck Police Chase | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60315 | Police Mobile Command Truck | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60317 | Police Chase at the Bank | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60318 | Fire Helicopter | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60319 | Fire Rescue & Police Chase | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60320 | Fire Station | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60321 | Fire Brigade | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60322 | Race Car Polybag | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60323 | Stunt Plane | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60324 | Mobile Crane | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60325 | Cement Mixer Truck | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60327 | Horse Transporter | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60330 | Hospital | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60332 | Reckless Scorpion Stunt Bike | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60333 | Bathtub Stunt Bike | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60335 | Train Station | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60338 | Chimpanzee Smash Stunt Loop | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60339 | Double Loop Stunt Arena | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60341 | The Knockdown Stunt Challenge | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60342 | The Shark Attack Stunt Challenge | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60343 | Rescue Helicopter Transporter | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60346 | Barn & Farm Animals | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60348 | Lunar Roving Vehicle | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60349 | Lunar Space Station | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60350 | Lunar Research Base | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60351 | Rocket Launch Centre | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60353 | Wild Animal Rescue Missions | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60354 | Mars Spacecraft Exploration Missions | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60355 | Water Police Detective Missions | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60356 | Bear Stunt Bike | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60357 | Stunt Truck & Ring of Fire Challenge | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60358 | Cyber Stunt Bike | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60359 | Dunk Stunt Ramp Challenge | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60360 | Spinning Stunt Challenge | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60361 | Ultimate Stunt Riders Challenge | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60371 | Emergency Vehicles HQ | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60381 | City Advent Calendar 2023 | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60382 | Vet Van Rescue | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60385 | Construction Digger | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60390 | Park Tractor | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60393 | 4x4 Fire Truck Rescue | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60394 | ATV and Otter Habitat | Dec 31, 2023 |
City | 60398 | Family House and Electric Car | Dec 31, 2023 |
Classic | 11014 | Bricks and Wheels | Dec 31, 2023 |
Classic | 11018 | Creative Ocean Fun | Dec 31, 2023 |
Classic | 11019 | Bricks and Functions | Dec 31, 2023 |
Classic | 11020 | Build Together | Dec 31, 2023 |
Classic | 11021 | 90 Years of Play | Dec 31, 2023 |
Classic | 11022 | Space Mission | Dec 31, 2023 |
Classic | 11031 | Creative Monkey Fun | Dec 31, 2023 |
Classic | 30510 | 90 Years of Cars Polybag | Dec 31, 2023 |
Creator | 30641 | Panda Bear Polybag | Dec 31, 2023 |
Creator | 30644 | Vintage Car Polybag | Dec 31, 2023 |
Creator | 31111 | Cyber Drone | Dec 31, 2023 |
Creator | 31118 | Surfer Beach House | Dec 31, 2023 |
Creator | 31127 | Street Racer | Dec 31, 2023 |
Creator | 31128 | Dolphin and Turtle | Dec 31, 2023 |
Creator | 31130 | Sunken Treasure Mission | Dec 31, 2023 |
Creator | 31131 | Downtown Noodle Shop | Dec 31, 2023 |
Creator | 31132 | Viking Ship and the Midgard Serpent | Dec 31, 2023 |
Creator | 40461 | Tulips | Dec 31, 2023 |
Creator | 40469 | Tuk Tuk | Dec 31, 2023 |
Creator | 40568 | Paris Postcard | Dec 31, 2023 |
Creator | 40646 | Daffodils | Dec 31, 2023 |
Disney | 10777 | Mickey and Minnie's Camping Trip | Dec 31, 2023 |
Disney | 30646 | Moana's Dolphin Cove Polybag | Dec 31, 2023 |
Disney | 40521 | Mini Disney The Haunted Mansion | Dec 31, 2023 |
Disney | 41168 | Elsa's Jewellery Box | Dec 31, 2023 |
Disney | 43187 | Rapunzel's Tower | Dec 31, 2023 |
Disney | 43189 | Elsa and the Nokk Storybook Adventures | Dec 31, 2023 |
Disney | 43194 | Anna and Elsa's Frozen Wonderland | Dec 31, 2023 |
Disney | 43196 | Belle and the Beast's Castle | Dec 31, 2023 |
Disney | 43197 | The Ice Castle | Dec 31, 2023 |
Disney | 43198 | Anna's Castle Courtyard | Dec 31, 2023 |
Disney | 43199 | Elsa's Castle Courtyard | Dec 31, 2023 |
Disney | 43202 | The Madrigal House | Dec 31, 2023 |
Disney | 43204 | Anna and Olaf's Castle Fun | Dec 31, 2023 |
Disney | 43207 | Ariel's Underwater Palace | Dec 31, 2023 |
Disney | 43208 | Jasmine and Mulan's Adventure | Dec 31, 2023 |
Disney | 43209 | Elsa and the Nokk's Ice Stable | Dec 31, 2023 |
Dots | 30560 | Pineapple Photo Holder & Mini Board Polybag | Dec 31, 2023 |
Dots | 41801 | My Pets Bracelet | Dec 31, 2023 |
Dots | 41802 | Unicorns Forever Bracelet | Dec 31, 2023 |
Dots | 41803 | Extra Dots series 8 | Dec 31, 2023 |
Dots | 41805 | Creative Animal Drawer | Dec 31, 2023 |
Dots | 41806 | Ultimate Party Kit | Dec 31, 2023 |
Dots | 41807 | Bracelet Designer Mega Pack | Dec 31, 2023 |
Dots | 41947 | Mickey and Friends Bracelets Mega Pack | Dec 31, 2023 |
Dots | 41948 | Cute Banana Pen Holder | Dec 31, 2023 |
Dots | 41950 | Lots of DOTS - Lettering | Dec 31, 2023 |
Dots | 41951 | Message Board | Dec 31, 2023 |
Dots | 41957 | Adhesive Patches Mega Pack | Dec 31, 2023 |
Dots | 41959 | Cute Panda Tray | Dec 31, 2023 |
Dots | 41960 | Big Box | Dec 31, 2023 |
Dots | 41961 | Designer Toolkit - Patterns | Dec 31, 2023 |
Dots / Disney | 41963 | Mickey Mouse & Minnie Mouse Stitch-on Patch | Dec 31, 2023 |
Dots / Disney | 41964 | Mickey Mouse & Minnie Mouse Back-to-School Project Box | Dec 31, 2023 |
Dots / Harry Potter | 41808 | Hogwarts Accessories Pack | Dec 31, 2023 |
Dots / Harry Potter | 41809 | Hedwig Pencil Holder | Dec 31, 2023 |
Dots / Harry Potter | 41811 | Hogwarts Desktop Kit | Dec 31, 2023 |
Duplo | 10411 | Learn About Chinese Culture | Dec 31, 2023 |
Duplo | 10872 | Train Bridge and Tracks | Dec 31, 2023 |
Duplo | 10882 | Train Tracks | Dec 31, 2023 |
Duplo | 10930 | Bulldozer | Dec 31, 2023 |
Duplo | 10938 | Dinosaur Nursery | Dec 31, 2023 |
Duplo | 10944 | Space Shuttle Mission | Dec 31, 2023 |
Duplo | 10948 | Parking Garage and Car Wash | Dec 31, 2023 |
Duplo | 10949 | Farm Animal Care | Dec 31, 2023 |
Duplo | 10955 | Animal Train | Dec 31, 2023 |
Duplo | 10956 | Amusement Park | Dec 31, 2023 |
Duplo | 10964 | Bath Time Fun: Floating Red Panda | Dec 31, 2023 |
Duplo | 10966 | Bath Time Fun: Floating Animal Island | Dec 31, 2023 |
Duplo | 10968 | Doctor Visit | Dec 31, 2023 |
Duplo | 10972 | Wild Animals of the Ocean | Dec 31, 2023 |
Duplo | 10973 | Wild Animals of South America | Dec 31, 2023 |
Duplo | 10974 | Wild Animals of Asia | Dec 31, 2023 |
Duplo | 10977 | My First Puppy & Kitten with Sounds | Dec 31, 2023 |
Duplo | 10978 | Creative Building Time | Dec 31, 2023 |
Duplo | 10979 | Wild Animals of Europe | Dec 31, 2023 |
Duplo | 30648 | Whale Polybag | Dec 31, 2023 |
Duplo / Disney | 10899 | Frozen Ice Castle | Dec 31, 2023 |
Duplo / Disney | 10960 | Belle's Ballroom | Dec 31, 2023 |
Duplo / Disney | 10962 | Buzz Lightyear's Planetary Mission | Dec 31, 2023 |
Duplo / Holiday | 10976 | Santa's Gingerbread House | Dec 31, 2023 |
Duplo / Marvel | 10963 | Spider-Man & Friends: Funfair Adventure | Dec 31, 2023 |
Friends | 30633 | Skate Ramp | Dec 31, 2023 |
Friends | 30634 | Friendship Flowers Polybag | Dec 31, 2023 |
Friends | 41443 | Olivia's Electric Car | Dec 31, 2023 |
Friends | 41677 | Forest Waterfall | Dec 31, 2023 |
Friends | 41696 | Pony-Washing Stable | Dec 31, 2023 |
Friends | 41697 | Turtle Protection Vehicle | Dec 31, 2023 |
Friends | 41699 | Pet Adoption Café | Dec 31, 2023 |
Friends | 41703 | Friendship Tree House | Dec 31, 2023 |
Friends | 41704 | Main Street Building | Dec 31, 2023 |
Friends | 41705 | Heartlake City Pizzeria | Dec 31, 2023 |
Friends | 41707 | Tree-Planting Vehicle | Dec 31, 2023 |
Friends | 41708 | Roller Disco Arcade | Dec 31, 2023 |
Friends | 41711 | Emma's Art School | Dec 31, 2023 |
Friends | 41712 | Recycling Truck | Dec 31, 2023 |
Friends | 41713 | Olivia's Space Academy | Dec 31, 2023 |
Friends | 41714 | Andrea's Theatre School | Dec 31, 2023 |
Friends | 41715 | Ice Cream Truck | Dec 31, 2023 |
Friends | 41716 | Stephanie's Sailing Adventure | Dec 31, 2023 |
Friends | 41717 | Mia's Wildlife Rescue | Dec 31, 2023 |
Friends | 41718 | Pet Day-Care Center | Dec 31, 2023 |
Friends | 41719 | Mobile Fashion Boutique | Dec 31, 2023 |
Friends | 41720 | Water Park | Dec 31, 2023 |
Friends | 41721 | Organic Farm | Dec 31, 2023 |
Friends | 41722 | Horse Show Trailer | Dec 31, 2023 |
Friends | 41729 | Organic Grocery Store | Dec 31, 2023 |
Friends | 41732 | Downtown Flower and Design Stores | Dec 31, 2023 |
Friends | 41733 | Mobile Bubble Tea Shop | Dec 31, 2023 |
Friends | 41741 | Dog Rescue Van | Dec 31, 2023 |
Friends | 41742 | Cat Hotel | Dec 31, 2023 |
Friends | 41743 | Hair Salon | Dec 31, 2023 |
Friends | 41751 | Skate Park | Dec 31, 2023 |
Friends | 41758 | Friends Advent Calendar 2023 | Dec 31, 2023 |
Harry Potter | 30435 | Build Your Own Hogwarts Castle Polybag | Dec 31, 2023 |
Harry Potter | 30651 | Quidditch Practice Polybag | Dec 31, 2023 |
Harry Potter | 75968 | 4 Privet Drive | Dec 31, 2023 |
Harry Potter | 75979 | Hedwig | Dec 31, 2023 |
Harry Potter | 76386 | Hogwarts: Polyjuice Potion Mistake | Dec 31, 2023 |
Harry Potter | 76398 | Hogwarts Hospital Wing | Dec 31, 2023 |
Harry Potter | 76399 | Hogwarts Magical Trunk | Dec 31, 2023 |
Harry Potter | 76400 | Hogwarts Carriage and Thestrals | Dec 31, 2023 |
Harry Potter | 76401 | Hogwarts Courtyard: Sirius's Rescue | Dec 31, 2023 |
Harry Potter | 76403 | The Ministry of Magic | Dec 31, 2023 |
Harry Potter | 76406 | Hungarian Horntail Dragon | Dec 31, 2023 |
Harry Potter | 76408 | 12 Grimmauld Place | Dec 31, 2023 |
Harry Potter | 76409 | Gryffindor House Banner | Dec 31, 2023 |
Harry Potter | 76410 | Slytherin House Banner | Dec 31, 2023 |
Harry Potter | 76411 | Ravenclaw House Banner | Dec 31, 2023 |
Harry Potter | 76412 | Hufflepuff House Banner | Dec 31, 2023 |
Harry Potter | 76418 | Harry Potter Advent Calendar 2023 | Dec 31, 2023 |
Holiday | 40426 | Christmas Wreath 2-in-1 | Dec 31, 2023 |
Holiday | 40522 | Valentine Lovebirds | Dec 31, 2023 |
Holiday | 40523 | Easter Rabbits Display | Dec 31, 2023 |
Holiday | 40570 | Halloween Cat and Mouse | Dec 31, 2023 |
Holiday | 40571 | Wintertime Polar Bears | Dec 31, 2023 |
Holiday | 80110 | Lunar New Year Display | Dec 31, 2023 |
Holiday | 80111 | Lunar New Year Parade | Dec 31, 2023 |
Holiday / Creator | 30584 | Winter Holiday Train Polybag | Dec 31, 2023 |
Holiday / Creator | 30642 | Birthday Train Polybag | Dec 31, 2023 |
Holiday / Creator | 30643 | Easter Chickens Polybag | Dec 31, 2023 |
Holiday / Icons | 10293 | Santa's Visit | Dec 31, 2023 |
Icons | 10265 | Ford Mustang | Dec 31, 2023 |
Icons | 10266 | NASA Apollo 11 Lunar Lander | Dec 31, 2023 |
Icons | 10273 | Haunted House | Dec 31, 2023 |
Icons | 10276 | Colosseum | Dec 31, 2023 |
Icons | 10289 | Bird of Paradise | Dec 31, 2023 |
Icons | 10290 | Pickup Truck | Dec 31, 2023 |
Icons | 10292 | The Friends Apartments | Dec 31, 2023 |
Icons | 10299 | Real Madrid - Santiago Bernabéu Stadium | Dec 31, 2023 |
Icons | 10497 | Galaxy Explorer | Dec 31, 2023 |
Icons | 76989 | Horizon Forbidden West: Tallneck | Dec 31, 2023 |
Icons / Modular | 10255 | Assembly Square | Dec 31, 2023 |
Icons / Modular | 10270 | Bookshop | Dec 31, 2023 |
Icons / Modular | 10278 | Police Station | Dec 31, 2023 |
Ideas | 21325 | Medieval Blacksmith | Dec 31, 2023 |
Ideas | 21326 | Winnie the Pooh | Dec 31, 2023 |
Ideas | 21329 | Fender Stratocaster | Dec 31, 2023 |
Ideas | 21337 | Table Football | Dec 31, 2023 |
Jurassic Park / World | 76943 | Pteranodon Chase (4+) | Dec 31, 2023 |
Jurassic Park / World | 76945 | Atrociraptor Dinosaur: Bike Chase | Dec 31, 2023 |
Jurassic Park / World | 76947 | Quetzalcoatlus Plane Ambush | Dec 31, 2023 |
Jurassic Park / World | 76948 | T. rex & Atrociraptor Dinosaur Breakout | Dec 31, 2023 |
Jurassic Park / World | 76950 | Triceratops Pickup Truck Ambush | Dec 31, 2023 |
Jurassic Park / World | 76956 | T. rex Breakout | Dec 31, 2023 |
Lightyear | 76830 | Zyclops Chase (4+) | Dec 31, 2023 |
Lightyear | 76831 | Zurg Battle | Dec 31, 2023 |
Lightyear | 76832 | XL-15 Spaceship | Dec 31, 2023 |
Mario | 30509 | Yellow Yoshi's Fruit Tree Polybag | Dec 31, 2023 |
Mario | 71406 | Yoshi's Gift House | Dec 31, 2023 |
Mario | 71413 | Character Packs Series 6 | Dec 31, 2023 |
Mario | 71414 | Conkdor's Noggin Bopper | Dec 31, 2023 |
Mario | 71415 | Ice Mario Suit and Frozen World | Dec 31, 2023 |
Mario | 71416 | Lava Wave Ride | Dec 31, 2023 |
Mario | 71417 | Fliprus Snow Adventure | Dec 31, 2023 |
Mario | 71418 | Creativity Toolbox | Dec 31, 2023 |
Marvel | 10781 | Spider-Man's Techno Trike (4+) | Dec 31, 2023 |
Marvel | 10784 | Spider-Man Webquarters Hangout (4+) | Dec 31, 2023 |
Marvel | 10790 | Team Spidey at Green Goblin's Lighthouse (4+) | Dec 31, 2023 |
Marvel | 30652 | Doctor Strange's Interdimensional Portal Polybag | Dec 31, 2023 |
Marvel | 76187 | Venom | Dec 31, 2023 |
Marvel | 76193 | The Guardians' Ship | Dec 31, 2023 |
Marvel | 76206 | Iron Man Figure | Dec 31, 2023 |
Marvel | 76207 | Attack on New Asgard | Dec 31, 2023 |
Marvel | 76208 | The Goat Boat | Dec 31, 2023 |
Marvel | 76209 | Thor's Hammer | Dec 31, 2023 |
Marvel | 76211 | Shuri's Sunbird | Dec 31, 2023 |
Marvel | 76212 | Shuri's Lab (4+) | Dec 31, 2023 |
Marvel | 76213 | King Namor's Throne Room | Dec 31, 2023 |
Marvel | 76214 | Black Panther: War on the Water | Dec 31, 2023 |
Marvel | 76215 | Black Panther | Dec 31, 2023 |
Marvel | 76216 | Iron Man Armory | Dec 31, 2023 |
Marvel | 76225 | Miles Morales Figure | Dec 31, 2023 |
Marvel | 76230 | Venom Figure | Dec 31, 2023 |
Marvel | 76242 | Thanos Mech Armor | Dec 31, 2023 |
Marvel | 76253 | Guardians of the Galaxy Headquarters | Dec 31, 2023 |
Marvel | 76255 | The New Guardians' Ship | Dec 31, 2023 |
Marvel | 76267 | Marvel Advent Calendar 2023 | Dec 31, 2023 |
Minecraft | 21164 | The Coral Reef | Dec 31, 2023 |
Minecraft | 21170 | The Pig House | Dec 31, 2023 |
Minecraft | 21172 | The Ruined Portal | Dec 31, 2023 |
Minecraft | 21177 | The Creeper Ambush | Dec 31, 2023 |
Minecraft | 21180 | The Guardian Battle | Dec 31, 2023 |
Minecraft | 21181 | The Rabbit Ranch | Dec 31, 2023 |
Minecraft | 21183 | The Training Grounds | Dec 31, 2023 |
Minecraft | 21184 | The Bakery | Dec 31, 2023 |
Minecraft | 21185 | The Nether Bastion | Dec 31, 2023 |
Minecraft | 21186 | The Ice Castle | Dec 31, 2023 |
Minecraft | 21188 | The Llama Village | Dec 31, 2023 |
Minecraft | 21190 | The Abandoned Village | Dec 31, 2023 |
Minecraft | 30647 | The Dripstone Cavern/The Stalactite Cave Polybag | Dec 31, 2023 |
Miscellaneous | 40174 | LEGO Chess | Dec 31, 2023 |
Miscellaneous | 40382 | Birthday Set | Dec 31, 2023 |
Miscellaneous | 40393 | LEGOLAND Fire Academy | Dec 31, 2023 |
Miscellaneous | 40584 | Birthday Diorama | Dec 31, 2023 |
Monkie Kid | 30656 | Monkey King Marketplace Polybag | Dec 31, 2023 |
Monkie Kid | 80008 | Monkie Kid's Cloud Jet | Dec 31, 2023 |
Monkie Kid | 80030 | Monkie Kid's Staff Creations | Dec 31, 2023 |
Monkie Kid | 80032 | Chang'e Moon Cake Factory | Dec 31, 2023 |
Monkie Kid | 80033 | Evil Macaque's Mech | Dec 31, 2023 |
Monkie Kid | 80034 | Nezha's Fire Ring | Dec 31, 2023 |
Monkie Kid | 80035 | Monkie Kid's Galactic Explorer | Dec 31, 2023 |
Monkie Kid | 80037 | Dragon of the East | Dec 31, 2023 |
Monkie Kid | 80038 | Monkie Kid's Team Van | Dec 31, 2023 |
Monkie Kid | 80039 | The Heavenly Realms | Dec 31, 2023 |
Ninjago | 30649 | Ice Dragon Creature Polybag | Dec 31, 2023 |
Ninjago | 71757 | Lloyd's Ninja Mech (4+) | Dec 31, 2023 |
Ninjago | 71760 | Jay's Thunder Dragon EVO | Dec 31, 2023 |
Ninjago | 71761 | Zane's Power Up Mech EVO | Dec 31, 2023 |
Ninjago | 71763 | Lloyd's Race Car EVO | Dec 31, 2023 |
Ninjago | 71765 | Ninja Ultra Combo Mech | Dec 31, 2023 |
Ninjago | 71766 | Lloyd's Legendary Dragon | Dec 31, 2023 |
Ninjago | 71767 | Ninja Dojo Temple | Dec 31, 2023 |
Ninjago | 71768 | Jay's Golden Dragon Motorbike | Dec 31, 2023 |
Ninjago | 71769 | Cole's Dragon Cruiser | Dec 31, 2023 |
Ninjago | 71771 | The Crystal King Temple | Dec 31, 2023 |
Ninjago | 71772 | The Crystal King | Dec 31, 2023 |
Ninjago | 71774 | Lloyd's Golden Ultra Dragon | Dec 31, 2023 |
Ninjago | 71775 | Nya's Samurai X MECH | Dec 31, 2023 |
Ninjago | 71776 | Jay and Nya's Race Car EVO | Dec 31, 2023 |
Ninjago | 71777 | Kai's Dragon Power Flip | Dec 31, 2023 |
Ninjago | 71778 | Nya's Dragon Power Drift | Dec 31, 2023 |
Ninjago | 71779 | Lloyd's Dragon Power Spin | Dec 31, 2023 |
Ninjago | 71781 | Lloyd's Mech Battle EVO | Dec 31, 2023 |
Speed Champions | 30657 | McLaren Solus GT Polybag | Dec 31, 2023 |
Speed Champions | 76900 | Koenigsegg Jesko | Dec 31, 2023 |
Speed Champions | 76901 | Toyota GR Supra | Dec 31, 2023 |
Speed Champions | 76910 | Aston Martin Valkyrie AMR Pro and Aston Martin Vantage GT3 | Dec 31, 2023 |
Speed Champions | 76911 | 007 Aston Martin DB5 | Dec 31, 2023 |
Speed Champions | 76912 | Fast & Furious 1970 Dodge Charger T | Dec 31, 2023 |
Star Wars | 30654 | X-wing Starfighter Polybag | Dec 31, 2023 |
Star Wars | 75288 | AT-AT | Dec 31, 2023 |
Star Wars | 75292 | The Razor Crest | Dec 31, 2023 |
Star Wars | 75300 | Imperial TIE Fighter | Dec 31, 2023 |
Star Wars | 75301 | Luke Skywalker's X-wing Fighter | Dec 31, 2023 |
Star Wars | 75309 | Republic Gunship (Ultimate Collector Series) | Dec 31, 2023 |
Star Wars | 75312 | Boba Fett's Starship | Dec 31, 2023 |
Star Wars | 75317 | The Mandalorian & The Child | Dec 31, 2023 |
Star Wars | 75318 | The Child | Dec 31, 2023 |
Star Wars | 75320 | Snowtrooper Battle Pack | Dec 31, 2023 |
Star Wars | 75322 | Hoth AT-ST | Dec 31, 2023 |
Star Wars | 75323 | The Justifier | Dec 31, 2023 |
Star Wars | 75324 | Dark Trooper Attack | Dec 31, 2023 |
Star Wars | 75326 | Boba Fett's Throne Room | Dec 31, 2023 |
Star Wars | 75327 | Luke Skywalker (Red Five) Helmet | Dec 31, 2023 |
Star Wars | 75329 | Death Star Trench Run Diorama | Dec 31, 2023 |
Star Wars | 75330 | Dagobah Jedi Training Diorama | Dec 31, 2023 |
Star Wars | 75332 | AT-ST (4+) | Dec 31, 2023 |
Star Wars | 75334 | Obi-Wan Kenobi vs. Darth Vader | Dec 31, 2023 |
Star Wars | 75335 | BD-1 | Dec 31, 2023 |
Star Wars | 75336 | Inquisitor Transport Scythe | Dec 31, 2023 |
Star Wars | 75338 | Ambush on Ferrix | Dec 31, 2023 |
Star Wars | 75339 | Death Star Trash Compactor Diorama | Dec 31, 2023 |
Star Wars | 75342 | Republic Fighter Tank | Dec 31, 2023 |
Star Wars | 75343 | Dark Trooper Helmet | Dec 31, 2023 |
Star Wars | 75366 | Star Wars Advent Calendar 2023 | Dec 31, 2023 |
Technic | 30655 | Forklift with Pallet Polybag | Dec 31, 2023 |
Technic | 42096 | Porsche 911 RSR | Dec 31, 2023 |
Technic | 42107 | Ducati Panigale V4 R | Dec 31, 2023 |
Technic | 42111 | Dom's Dodge Charger | Dec 31, 2023 |
Technic | 42117 | Race Plane | Dec 31, 2023 |
Technic | 42118 | Monster Jam Grave Digger | Dec 31, 2023 |
Technic | 42122 | Jeep Wrangler | Dec 31, 2023 |
Technic | 42123 | McLaren Senna GTR | Dec 31, 2023 |
Technic | 42125 | Ferrari 488 GTE 'AF Corse #51' | Dec 31, 2023 |
Technic | 42127 | The Batman - Batmobile | Dec 31, 2023 |
Technic | 42128 | Heavy-Duty Tow Truck | Dec 31, 2023 |
Technic | 42131 | Cat D11 Bulldozer | Dec 31, 2023 |
Technic | 42132 | Chopper | Dec 31, 2023 |
Technic | 42133 | Telehandler | Dec 31, 2023 |
Technic | 42134 | Monster Jam Megalodon | Dec 31, 2023 |
Technic | 42135 | Monster Jam El Toro Loco | Dec 31, 2023 |
Technic | 42137 | Formula E Porsche 99x Electric | Dec 31, 2023 |
Technic | 42139 | All-Terrain Vehicle | Dec 31, 2023 |
Technic | 42140 | App-Controlled Transformation Vehicle | Dec 31, 2023 |
Technic | 42144 | Material Handler | Dec 31, 2023 |
submitted by
Clay_Bricks to
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2023.06.01 20:41 that1ginge21 Custom Storage, clothing, food, currency, etc! Livonia/Deer/Chern/Door! US pc “Fair Play”! New Map Out Now!
Come check out all the Custom FairPlay only items and make some custom items of your own!
Fair Play is currently hosting
5 DayZ Map options
*
Fair Play[US1]Chernarus[PVE]PVP Zones25KBlackMarketDrugsPlusAirdrop * Fair Play[US2]DeerIslePVE\PVP ZonesTraderBBPBlackMarket Fair Play[US3]LivoniaPVE-PVP ZonesBlackMarketDrugs Fair Play Presents - Welcome to Door County PvE
Fair Play Presents - Welcome to Door County PvP
No Theft, or Raid Servers - Inside PVP Zones anything is allowed - eAI has been introduced to Chernarus, Livonia, and DeerIsle for most PVP areas.
The danger is REAL! Custom models unique to Fair Play - Everything from knives, swords, foods, storage options and other fun weapons. We have our own currency, vending machines & many quality of life perks to help ease your adventures - that you will never see anywhere else! (many are hand made in blender then ported to Object Builder)
Custom race track on DeerIsle and Chernarus - Chernarus it extends from Cherno all the way up the east coast. Deer Isle you can go completely around the map over the waters. Races are intense. Speeds over 270mph
Dedicated events server to avoid the server clutter for those players who just want to game normally.
Extremely active, dedicated and caring admins & dedicated owner support - here to MAKE you have fun is a buggy ass game. Live events & player meetups - Awesome community for beginners, and experts - Many server owners play here to get away. Come on by and give a shout out!
We prune inactive players monthly on Discord - so those numbers below are truly active player count.
Wipes last 2 months give or take - we like to stay on schedule besides those DayZ updates that require it. We end with a PURGE day - where players go crazy and raid and use it all up. Its a
killer time
Door County Is currently IN development, excited to share this experience with you.**
Discord Community https://discord.gg/fairplaydayz submitted by
that1ginge21 to
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2023.06.01 19:59 BeanBearGood Apartment from hell
Hello Reddit Lawyers, Preface: Thank you for taking the time to read this post. My name is Alex, a tenant in East Pointe Apartments (EP) in Ithaca, New York. The apartment complex is owned by Park Grove Realty. I have attempted to contact local lawyers about the issues that I am facing, but all lawyers in tenant and civil law are facing delays with other cases. Background: I moved into EP back in June 2021. The original property managers were great people, Crystal and Marissa. I started to notice problems with my apartment in October 2021 when I discovered that there was a spider infestation near the patio door and the bathroom. I was getting rid of the webs nearly every day until December. In summer 2022, Marissa left and Crystal (or someone in management) decided to pave over the grass that separates adjacent driveways. In that process, black construction residue was imparted on the garage doors (think white cookies and cream), which is an eyesore. EP also has a small gym in the leasing office building. The gym was clean until February 2022. At that point, I noticed that they never fixed the blinds which wouldn't go up, they did not restock the disinfectant sprays for at least a month, the towels and paper towels used to wipe down equipment was periodically unavailable, and there was a huge buildup of dust and pet hair on the equipment. There were also dead ants and wasps near the dumbbells. Lastly, the leasing office had to send an announcement in December 2022 urging residents to not share the gym passcode. There were times when weird people I had never seen before would enter the gym and hog the equipment. Throughout 2022 and spring 2023, I thought I was going crazy because I would check to ensure that the garage door is closed and find the door open in the morning or early afternoon. I spoke to the new leasing office person about this problem yesterday, and she told me that this is a "common problem." The new leasing office people came last summer and fall. The assistant property manager (Megan) is a very rude, immature person who simply does not care. I continue to have problems with insects and spiders in the apartment, and my mental health has been terrible because of the constant stress induced by lack of safety in this apartment complex. I have told my therapist about these problems starting last October. On an unrelated note, I was pulling into my garage last week when a guy in white sedan pulled into my driveway before I could even get out of the car. He gave me a death stare, so I hesitated for a minute before closing the garage door. I peeked out of my garage window to see him smiling like an insane guy. I called the leasing office, and the maintenance guys showed up. He didn't leave until five minutes after the maintenance guys left. I asked Megan about what happened, and she told me it was my neighbor getting picked up by a friend, but I never saw anyone getting into his car. Also, why would a person pull into someone else's driveway? Megan was extremely rude and dismissive, rolling her eyes, and raising her voice... Is it possible to seek financial compensation for these experiences? I would assume that tenant safety, both physical and mental are required by law. Thanks in advance for any professional advice, BBG
submitted by
BeanBearGood to
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2023.06.01 19:58 BeanBearGood Tenant safety and financial compensation
Hello Reddit Lawyers,
Preface: Thank you for taking the time to read this post.
My name is Alex, a tenant in East Pointe Apartments (EP) in Ithaca, New York. The apartment complex is owned by Park Grove Realty. I have attempted to contact local lawyers about the issues that I am facing, but all lawyers in tenant and civil law are facing delays with other cases.
Background: I moved into EP back in June 2021. The original property managers were great people, Crystal and Marissa. I started to notice problems with my apartment in October 2021 when I discovered that there was a spider infestation near the patio door and the bathroom. I was getting rid of the webs nearly every day until December.
In summer 2022, Marissa left and Crystal (or someone in management) decided to pave over the grass that separates adjacent driveways. In that process, black construction residue was imparted on the garage doors (think white cookies and cream), which is an eyesore.
EP also has a small gym in the leasing office building. The gym was clean until February 2022. At that point, I noticed that they never fixed the blinds which wouldn't go up, they did not restock the disinfectant sprays for at least a month, the towels and paper towels used to wipe down equipment was periodically unavailable, and there was a huge buildup of dust and pet hair on the equipment. There were also dead ants and wasps near the dumbbells. Lastly, the leasing office had to send an announcement in December 2022 urging residents to not share the gym passcode. There were times when weird people I had never seen before would enter the gym and hog the equipment.
Throughout 2022 and spring 2023, I thought I was going crazy because I would check to ensure that the garage door is closed and find the door open in the morning or early afternoon. I spoke to the new leasing office person about this problem yesterday, and she told me that this is a "common problem." The new leasing office people came last summer and fall. The assistant property manager (Megan) is a very rude, immature person who simply does not care.
I continue to have problems with insects and spiders in the apartment, and my mental health has been terrible because of the constant stress induced by lack of safety in this apartment complex. I have told my therapist about these problems starting last October.
On an unrelated note, I was pulling into my garage last week when a guy in white sedan pulled into my driveway before I could even get out of the car. He gave me a death stare, so I hesitated for a minute before closing the garage door. I peeked out of my garage window to see him smiling like an insane guy. I called the leasing office, and the maintenance guys showed up. He didn't leave until five minutes after the maintenance guys left. I asked Megan about what happened, and she told me it was my neighbor getting picked up by a friend, but I never saw anyone getting into his car. Also, why would a person pull into someone else's driveway? Megan was extremely rude and dismissive, rolling her eyes, and raising her voice...
Is it possible to seek financial compensation for these experiences? I would assume that tenant safety, both physical and mental are required by law.
Thanks in advance for any professional advice,
BBG
submitted by
BeanBearGood to
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2023.06.01 19:58 PriestessOfSpiders There is a door in my apartment which only appears after midnight.
The apartment was cheap, but not suspiciously so, especially given the relatively decrepit state of it. It was a 1 bedroom affair, the building itself constructed at some point before the Great Depression, and it certainly showed its age. The bathroom was prone to mold, the windows let in a draft even when closed, and the fact that it was up 6 flights of stairs in a building where the elevator seemed perpetually out of order certainly didn't help. However, beyond these usual allowances made for an affordable apartment in a city such as mine, there were no outward signs that anything wrong with the place. There were never any strange noises, unusual cold spots in the center of rooms, no eerie lights. For all intents and purposes, the apartment appeared utterly mundane.
It took me a frankly embarrassing amount of time to notice the door. 7 months in fact. I've never been much of a night owl, and on the rare occasions when I did have reason to be up in the wee hours my time was generally spent in someone else's bedroom.
At first, when I noticed the door, I assumed that I was hallucinating. I was, after all, in a fairly inebriated state, having just returned from a rather pleasant evening of laughter and debauchery. I already had experienced considerable difficulty in extricating my key from my apartment's lock, so I figured it was more likely that something had gone wrong with my perception rather than the unlikely scenario that a wood paneled door had suddenly materialized in my living room where previously there had only been wall.
It was old fashioned looking, with a shiny brass knob and wood the color of old leather. I shook my head for a moment and blinked, squinting at the object. The door was still there. I rubbed my eyes and closed them, counting down from 10. When I'd finished, I opened my eyes again. The door was still there. I'm not exactly sure what I thought counting down from 10 was supposed to accomplish. Beyond one mercifully brief experience with salvia at a very bad party, I'd never experienced hallucinations before, so I was sort of going off of what I'd seen in movies and TV shows.
There was something intensely unnerving about the door. It emanated a feeling of primal wrongness, I instinctually knew that I was gazing at something totally in violation of the natural order. It took a lot of willpower to do what I did next.
Having exhausted all other apparent options to my disorganized mind, I moved on to the next logical stage of inquiry; I tried to open it. The doorknob was cold to the touch, arctic even. It felt like touching the inside of a freezer. A shiver ran down my back, though I can't be sure in retrospect if it was entirely from the temperature. I tried to turn the knob. It didn't budge.
An immense sigh of relief escaped my lungs, releasing a breath that I didn't know I was holding in. Trying to think of what else I could do, I pulled out my phone and snapped a quick photo of the thing, sending it to my landlord, with a caption somewhere along the lines of "wtf is this dude, y is there a new door???"
Nodding sagely to myself, as if I had succeeded in doing anything of note, I stumbled my way into my bedroom and locked the door before falling into blissful slumber.
I awoke to the incessant screeching of my alarm clock loudly informing me that it was 7 o' clock, about 6 hours from when I had fallen asleep. I slammed my fist against "off" button and rubbed the sleep from my eyes with my other hand. In following with my usual morning routine, I then pulled out my phone and checked through my notifications.
Alongside the usual torrent of internet pseudo-acquaintances posting pictures of their brunches and whatnot was a text message from my landlord. "What are you talking about Christina", it read, "is this photoshop or something?"
At first, I didn't understand what he was referring to, but when the rusted gears of my sleepy (and hungover) brain finally started turning, I immediately jumped out of bed and scuttled over to the spot where the door had been just 6 hours prior. I did so with the intent of recording a video to further prove its existence to my skeptical landlord... but I was greeted with nothing but wall.
I texted my landlord an apology, lying and saying it was just a poorly thought out prank. Then I popped into my car and drove down to the local electronics store to purchase a camera from the grumpy underpaid college student behind the register.
Making my way over to the photography section, I searched a long while for the option that simultaneously fit my budget and the requirements for my investigation. Eventually, I found just the item.
It was a trailcam, the sort of thing hunters and geriatrics with too many acres of land and not enough hobbies use to observe wildlife. It had an SD card with enough space for several hours of blurry, black and white nightvision video, and most importantly it was cheap. I paid for my prize with the surly cashier and made my way happily back to my apartment.
I set it up securely in front of where the door had previously appeared, and, feeling like a genius, went about the rest of my day. I fell asleep that night secure in the knowledge that by morning I would have proof of what I had seen the night before.
The next morning, I rushed over excitedly to my living room, feeling like a child on Christmas morning. My giddy excitement died as I stepped into the living room, noticing the complete lack of the trailcam. Old Saint Nick appeared to have shit in my stocking.
I made my way back to the electronics store, forced once again into interacting with the student behind the register for whom my very existence seemed to be an inconvenience. Upon noticing my arrival, he sighed heavily. "Can I help you ma'am?" he said, emphasizing the last word with the same inflection one might say intestinal parasite.
"I'm looking for a cheap camera that will stream video directly to my computer." I said, trying my best to avoid mimicking the man's petulant tone.
Shrugging his shoulders and releasing another drawn out sigh, the cashier shuffled his way over to the photography section and picked out a small camera, rather similar to the last one I purchased, but approximately twice as much in terms of cost. "Do you have anything cheaper?" I asked, trying my best to sound polite.
"No." declared the cashier, with all the compassion of an exterminator crushing a cockroach beneath a steel toed boot.
I ended up paying the exorbitant price on my already abused credit card, and grumpily stalked back to the apartment to set up the new equipment, knowing I wouldn't get to see it after the night was over.
Nevertheless, I had to know how the door got there, and I needed to have irrefutable evidence.
The process to set up the new camera was a bit more involved than the last. There was all manner of fiddling about with connecting the device to my WiFi network and installing some new software to my computer, but by the time it was over it successfully uploaded footage directly to my hard drive where I could watch it at my leisure.
I went to bed that night wondering what I would do with the footage after I acquired it. After all, I couldn't really go to the police with it, could I? Excuse me officer, I imagined myself saying, but a mysterious door appears in my apartment at night, and I was wondering if you could send someone around to take a look? I'd end up institutionalized. Similarly, it's not like I could go to the newspapers either. I live in a big city, and the reporters have more important fish to fry than transient doors.
At some point while I pondered my options, I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew I was awakened by the banshee cries of my alarm clock, angrily informing me that it was once again 7 o' clock.
I jumped out of bed, excitedly moving over to my computer to check the footage, finding that there was about 5 hours of video. I had turned on the camera at around 10 o' clock PM, so that meant whatever happened to the camera occurred at about 3 AM.
I set the video to fast forward and watched it carefully. The first 2 hours or so showed nothing, just the regular blank wall. At exactly 12 o' clock, however, static engulfed the screen, and suddenly the old wooden door simply appeared, as if it had always been there. I rewound the footage and played it at normal speed, trying to discern anything that would show how the door suddenly manifested in the wall of my apartment, but the static was far too heavy to tell. The video simply got incredibly distorted for around 10 seconds, and suddenly the static dissipated and there was the door.
Even on video, just looking at it gave me the chills. That sense of complete and utter wrongness came through even from the screen. I shivered slightly and set the video on fast forward yet again. There was no change in the door for nearly 3 hours, but as the video crept closer and closer to the end, I switched it back to normal speed with about a minute to spare.
As I watched, the door began to slowly open. There was no microphone built into the camera, but I could imagine the ancient hinges creaking. I could feel my palms begin to sweat as I stared, transfixed. I glanced at the time remaining on the video, it was only around 30 seconds.
As the video progressed onwards, the door eventually swung fully open, revealing a black, yawning void beyond it. Static began to gather at the corners of the screen, increasing in intensity as I vaguely discerned something moving in the darkness. The quality was rapidly degrading, and I couldn't tell any specifics, but it moved in an almost spider-like manner, skittery and deeply unnerving. It seemed just about to come into view when the footage fully dissolved into static and the video ended abruptly.
I leaned back in my chair, contemplating my next move. While the video had certainly convinced me that I wasn't just going crazy, I knew that it wouldn't exactly convince the average person. I could easily have added in the static with editing, and the vague movement behind the door could just be computer generated effects or some sort of puppet. After a few minutes of pondering, I came up with an idea.
---
"I'm sorry, what?" exclaimed Lilith, who was trying hard not to choke on her iced coffee.
"A door. It appears in my apartment at exactly midnight. I have it on video", I replied, sliding my phone across the table of the coffee shop.
I first met Lilith in college, where we shared a course on the history of Gothic literature. She was a perfect picture of the stereotypical goth, with pierced septum, dyed black hair, pentacle earrings, and a wardrobe whose diversity of color could charitably be compared to that of a raven. We hadn't spoken in a long time, but I figured if there was anyone I should contact about this sort of thing, it would be her.
I'd condensed the 5 hours of footage down to a few minutes with the help of a free online video editor, and watched in slight amusement as Lilith's brow furrowed, her eyes glued to the screen. After the video ended, she seemed utterly amazed.
"Any thoughts?" I asked, pulling back my phone.
"This is some sort of joke, right? You're screwing with me?" she asked, utterly bewildered by what I had just shown her.
"No joke. No screwing around. I figured you'd be the one to ask about this, because of the whole, you know..." I said, gesturing at the leviathan cross emblazoned on her black t-shirt.
Lilith rolled her eyes at me and fidgeted nervously with one of her bracelets. "I'm not sure Christina, this seems a little bit outside of my pay grade. I don't really know what you expect me to do."
"I just need a witness of some kind. What I've got here isn't really enough to prove anything on its own, but if someone else sees it that might lend me a bit of credibility. If some random chick goes to the news complaining about a mysterious door appearing in her living room at midnight that's nothing, but if I get a witness then they might have to listen to me. Plus, I figured maybe you could, I don't know, set up some form of protective circle or sigil or something." As soon as the last words left my lips, I felt like a moron, but Lilith actually seemed to perk up a little bit.
"I mean, I guess that makes sense. How about tonight? I can come over at about 11 o' clock so we have a little bit of time to get ready", she said, a tinge of excitement in her voice.
"Sound's like a plan then, I'll text you my address. I really appreciate you doing this for me." We got up from the booth, exchanged hugs, and went our separate ways. I was skeptical about how much good Lilith's "magickal" expertise would do with regard to the unearthly door, but I had mainly mentioned it to get her interested.
I wish I hadn't.
---
About 12 hours later, I heard a knock at the door (my front door, in this case, not the impossible one). I peeked through the peephole, saw it was Lilith, and I ushered her inside. She had brought with her a black leather bag, bulging with various books, candles, jars, and other occult accoutrements.
"That's a lot of stuff", I commented, gesturing towards the bag, "are you sure you'll need all of it?"
She shrugged. "I figured it's better to be safe than sorry. I'd rather be overprepared than come up short."
"Seems reasonable."
I showed her the spot of the blank wall where the door appears and she began setting up candles and incense, drawing strange signs with chalk, and pouring salt in a semi-circle in front of where the door would be. As she worked, she occasionally read out loud from some cheap paperbacks with titles like "The Witch's Bible" and "The Unquiet Dead: A Field Guide to the Afterlife".
To be entirely honest it was incredibly underwhelming. I didn't feel any "mystical energies" or unseen vistas of space and time yawning before me. There was just a goth screwing around with some candles while reciting mangled Latin out of books she got for 4.99 apiece at a charity shop.
Nevertheless, I let Lilith get on with her business and sat back drinking some cheap beer. After about 45 minutes she seemed satisfied. The floor and walls were covered with crude sigils done in white chalk, and the whole room smelt of incense and scented candles. I checked my watch, seeing it was 11:48.
I offered Lilith a drink but she declined, instead just taking a seat and fidgeting a bit with her jewelry. We talked for a while about what the door could be, where it came from, that sort of thing. Lilith seemed convinced it was must be the restless spirit of a former tenant, but I was a bit skeptical. While at this point I could no longer honestly say I didn't believe in the supernatural, this didn't necessarily strike me as some sort of haunting.
"I don't think it's a ghost", I said, taking a sip from my near empty can, "it strikes me as something further beyond our realm of experience than that. Something, I don't know, alien somehow. I mean it changes reality itself doesn't it? It transmutes a wall to a door, and let me tell you that door was real wood and the knob was real metal. Aren't ghosts supposed to be intangible or something?"
Lilith seemed like she was about to say something before she paused, a weird look crossing her face. "Christina, what time is it?" she whispered.
I checked my watch, the digital face reading out 12:07. I turned to see the door. It had been there for 7 minutes and we hadn't even noticed its arrival. Something about us not having realized it was there bothered me far more than its materialization. Was it possible that I'd passed by it in the apartment before and just never noticed it? I'd previously assumed that I'd simply always been asleep or out of the apartment when it materialized, but now I wasn't so sure.
Lilith had turned to look at it too, after a moment saying "It's like it's always been there."
The next 3 hours passed slowly, painfully. We snapped plenty of pictures of the door at every conceivable angle on our respective phones, videos too, and decided that after it disappeared again we should take footage of the bare wall for contrast. Lilith and I chatted a bit, but it was hard to continue conversations for long. Now that we had noticed it, we could feel the wrongness emanating out from the door, as if we were being watched by something just out of sight.
I don't know if there is such a thing as true evil, some sort of absolute moral right and wrong on a spiritual level. But being near that door, I felt like I was bearing witness to an atrocity against reality itself. We spent the last 2 hours of observation in nearly complete silence. It seemed like the longer we were cognizant of the door, the worse the feeling of discomfort got. If you've ever been on a roller coaster, you'll be familiar with the feeling of going up the track towards a long drop, the tension in your very blood as you brace yourself for the fall to come. As we sat there, I felt something similar.
I almost wanted to call the whole thing off, just have Lilith and I go to a 24 hour fast food place or something and call it a night. But I had to know.
Unlike with the door's appearance, we noticed when it started to open. We sat there, paralyzed with fear and excitement as it slowly started to creak open, the worn hinges squealing just as I thought they would. The room grew significantly colder, until we were both shivering intensely. Behind the door was void, absolutely void. It was black as the depths of the ocean and emanated pure dread. The smell of incense and scented candles seemed to dissipate, replaced with a vague stench like rotting seaweed.
Finally, the entrance was swung fully open, and we sat there, staring blankly into it. We didn't even try to pull out our phones to record what we saw. The thought to do so didn't cross my mind until well after.
I could see something start to move in the darkness beyond, some sort of motion, spidery, skittering. It was coming towards us. I caught a vague glimpse of a long, thin limb reaching out from the door, coming towards us, grasping blindly from out of the dark, and then-
I felt the sun shining on my face, my entire body sore.
I opened my eyes to find myself lying on the ground, outside. There were trees overhead, but the foliage wasn't dense enough to block out the light which had awoken me. All things being equal, I would have preferred my alarm clock.
I stood up, painfully, taking stock of my surroundings. I was in a park, one which I had been to before, located a couple miles from my apartment. I looked for my phone, but couldn't find it. I began to stumble my way back home, trying my best to ignore my aching muscles. I called out for Lilith a couple times, but was met only with silence. She was gone.
As I limped my way along, a passing jogger called out "Nice tattoo". Confused, I looked down at my arm.
Burned into my flesh in white letters, as if through frostbite, were the words "BRING MORE".
submitted by
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2023.06.01 18:40 appy_fizz 2011 Honda Odyssey [100k km] or 2022 Chevy Traverse [New]? Goal: Reliability Wheelchair user
Background:
- Wheelchair user, drive from my wheelchair itself
- Both cars have a side ramp installed and a lowered floor. You can google Braunability Traverse or VMI Odyssey
- I'm a gear head and have been around cars since a very young age. I could fix a lot of things on my own, but due to my disability I can't even fill coolant on my own
- Drive for leisure only, love to drive, and like to go on long trips. Someday, I plan to take a road trip across US (West to East)
- Have a 2011 Honda Odyssey (with wheelchair ramp). Bought it about 6 months (had 100k kms) and driven 5k kms since then
Fixes done on Odyssey since purchase
- Transmission fluid flush
- Brake fluid change
- Oil change
- Tire rotation
- Check engine light fix - EVAP solenoid died ($500CAD)
Fixes to be done
- AC not cooling - leak somewhere
- Front brake rotors need to be replaced because steering pulsates on high speed braking. No urgent, pads have 80% life left
- Timing belt change coming up after 50k kms (maybe 3 years)
Otherwise, it’s a sweet ass van. I love it, which maybe bias, because it’s my first vehicle after 14 years of not driving. I have an opportunity to get a New 2022 Chevy Traverse with wheelchair ramp. Would cost me $30-40k CAD out of pocket
Why I should get it:
- I like the SUV look more than a minivan. Been drooling over it for more than 2-3 years now.
- Really want adaptive cruise control
- New vehicle, less problems (?) plus 3 year warranty
Why I shouldn’t get it:
- I drive for leisure only but I love that part. Only thing I look forward to everyday is going for a drive. Is it worth to spend that 40k for looks and self satisfaction?
- It’s a Chevy. Not trying to start a war but Honda reliability needs no advertising
I'm mid 30s and have goals of becoming a homeowner one day, something I've been saving for. This purchase would eat into 50% of those savings. Usually I am very frugal in EVERY aspect of life, but cars make me lose perception.
People who own (or their friends/fam own) Traverse, what would you say about its long-term reliability? Is it worth in the long run?
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appy_fizz to
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2023.06.01 18:37 R420R77 Random thoughts of a dying man.
Well, I guess I should start at the beginning the majority of all stories tend to start. I was born in Detroit, Michigan in the month of June 1977. I was soon adopted and never met my biological family but have been told that I have two biological sisters, Karen, and Xinea as well as two brothers named Robert, and Jerry(perhaps Gerry I suppose). My mother is Patricia Bray, and my alleged father is Carl Ambers according to the adoption records that I found after the death of my adopted mother, Opal in 2001; I was a grown man by then. I was adopted by Opal and Frank Smith(we will say) in 1978. Somehow they knew my biological mother but that connection was never revelled to me. Opal was one of 17 children who grew up on a mountain somewhere in West Virginia. I was told that her father killed himself in front of her and her siblings when she was less than 10 years old. He was a coal miner and was injured in some type of accident and left unable to work with 19 mouths to feed; hard to fathom but for the love of God why in front of the children? Regardless of his reason this event left a lasting impact upon his 9 year old daughter that would ripple throughout space and time with the force of an atomic bomb; to this day that act and subsequent reaction linger. Opal was a devout Pentecost, Southern Baptist, or whatever similar religion she felt; not exactly sure. She was once a member of the People's Temple church in the early days when they were in Indianapolis (circa 1953-54). She left the church when the new leader, a man by the name of Jim Jones took over and began to allow people of other races into the fellowship; Opal being a woman of God as well as a devout racist left the church. They would later commit forced suicide in Ghana by drinking cyanide laced drinks at the end of machine guns. Opal was a small woman and she had many older brothers. She spent her developmental years fatherless, emotionally wrecked, and on a mountain with those brothers; I do not wish to even imagine what that must have been like, but one thing is for certain; she grew up mean and she knew how to fight, how to hurt a person, and how to use her 4' 11" 120lbs to do damage. Her temper was short and she was fast to react in a violent physical nature. She was married to Frank who was from Kentucky. Frank ran a laundry delivery service, smoked cigars, and loved pro wrestling. He was already in his forties when I was adopted as was Opal. Frank was amazing to me as a young child but as time went on he became isolated and didn't much bother with anything other than work. Looking back it is obvious he was terribly unhappy but that is unfortunately the theme of this story. I also had three adopted sisters that we shall call Kay, Mary, and Carry. All of whom were already 10 and older once I was brought into the household. The six of us lived in a two bedroom single bath home on the south side of Indianapolis. My earliest memory is literally the day that they brought me to their house; you may think that is crazy, a child less than a year old having a vivid memory but I swear to you I do. I remember being brought into the kitchen and being placed into a high chair with a pack of saltines....then a bath and to bed. For the first few years it seemed that we had a happy, perfect family. Frank made good money and so Opal stayed home and managed the house while watching me. I remember how nice she was at first but that would soon change, everything changed. The early eighties were a rough time economically and it showed. The stress of life really brought out the mean in Opal, she would fly off the handle in a millisecond flat. I was a very advanced child for my age and by pre-school I could count to 1000, read children's books myself, and I knew all my shapes and colors beyond the standard "circle, square, blue, red". My adopted parents were not very well educated and I think they were taken aback by the rate at which I absorbed information. It could not possibly be that this child simply has a thirst for knowledge and an ability to process things; it must be DEMONS...yep, folks, demons. From the time I was maybe 3 until I stopped speaking to Opal circa 1999 I was repeatedly told that I was "FULL OF DEMONS" as well as the everpopular"YOU ARE GOING TO HELL FOR _________" Now you can add whatever you wish to that blank up there because she sure did. I was going to hell for running in the house, catching insects, not going to bed on time, throwing rocks, playing with sticks, you name it, and he'll was fucking terrifying. I was taken to churches where people preached that the devil was not among us , but inside of us all!!! and as I watched them shake and scream and yell it honestly scared the shit out of me. Being a developing child and being told you are possessed by creatures from hell may have a lasting mental effect. Like many kids I began to rebel against and since I was full of demons I began to act accordingly. Things in the household spiraled downward like a toy boat circling an open drain. Opal was becoming aloof and isolated, coming from her bedroom only to cuss, complain, and rage. After the first few times getting my ass or face slapped up I learned to shut my mouth but unfortunately my older adopted sister Mary never got that lesson. She was about early high school age when I was adopted but I do not remember either of my two oldest sisters going to school at all. She like rock music of the time, she didn't dress appropriately, she was loud, and she did not listen to anything she was told. She was a typical teen girl in the 80's until she snuck out one night and some men snuck PCP into her drink. She had a bad reaction and seized, they just dumped her from the car onto a cold, dark Indianapolis street corner in the middle of a ghetto where she lay until found. She was rushed to the hospital where she died and was revived many time; luckily she lived, but she had went without oxygen and it left her with some mental impairment. She never really progressed past a teen mentality. I do not know if it was shame at her sneaking out with men and being discovered or the lingering mental illness but Opal had a fire for her like no other. They once had a shouting match over what Mary was wearing and after a few minutes Opal picked up an old golf wedge club that I had found and began to beat her savagely. I counted at least 30 shots before I got the courage to jump in from of her; I was maybe 8 years old. The following years would show a pattern of such actions with all four of us occasionally getting it but Mary and myself got the brunt of things...there were hot off the stove spatulas to bare skin, broomsticks, rake handles, and even the cast iron skillet with hot oil still inside. My father, having been introduced to Opal's violent nature knew better than to intervene, choosing to withdraw all together of the situation. Left to free rein Opal never missed an opportunity to abuse physically, or verbally. I remember being perhaps 9-10 years old and being as my parernts were way older I dressed like I was from the 60's,. Opal had since went to work at a metal polishing factory and I was left to the daily care of three teenage, adopted sister with no clue about basic hygiene so I smelled terrible and the stress of my violent home life had put weight on me other kids fucked with me hardcore. I had had a terrible day at school; my pants had ripped and all the other kids were laughing and calling me fatass and such literally all day long. So I get home finally and I totally break down into hesterical crying fits to which my "mother" responds to be yelling "BOY!!....WHAT IS ALL THE NOISE ABOUT!!?!" and through tears and in broken English I struggled to explain the events of the day and how all the kids said I "stink and that my clothes were trash and that I was too fat!!" and her caring response was to look me dead in my eyes and yell to me "YOU ARE FAT AND I AM NOT BUYING YOU NEW CLOTHES UNTIL YOU LOSE SOME WEIGHT!!" This event would truly cast a demon of hatred and anger deep into my soul that I would struggle to shake for the next 20 or more years. The next day at school, on recess a group of slightly younger children began to gather around me and began the usual verbal and physical harassment. As they had a few days previous they were attempting to set me up for that trick where one person gets down in a dog-like pose behind you while you are distracted and once in place the other push you over and everyone has a grand old laugh at your expense while you struggle to get your fat ass off the ground and get your wind back but that day I was not playing that shit and so when the little fucker ducked down behind me I immediately swung around with my right foot and landed a vicious snap kick directly to his eye socket; the sound of it breaking echoed the playground followed by painful wailing. It felt good to hear, it felt good to see the fear in the eyes of his friend's eyes, to send a message that I was no longer their victim or anyone else's for that matter. I started skipping school, vandalizing, petty theft, shoplifting, and anything other than wholesome which got me arrested for stealing CD's and Transformers from K-Mart. L.L. Cool J.....funny the shit you value when you look in retrospect. The ride home from the juvenile center on East 21st street was a long one and I was petrified of the beating that awaited me as new and different ways and items to beat the fuck from me danced in my head like those fucking sugar-plums from that stupid Christmas Song. When we finally got back to our house in Fountain Square I was directed into the kitchen where a length of 2/4 about 2 foot long waited on the kitchen table. Opal from behind me yelled out "BOY!!" which was what I was always referenced as as if I had no fucking name and when I did a 180 she belted me across my face with a hard right fist, but unlike every other time she hit me I did not scream out, cry, or even flinch from the blow. This further infuriated her and so she struck my face again to the same result, and again, and again until I firmly grabbed her right wrist at which point she immediately hit me with a hard left and I subsequently grabbed her left wrist. I was about 175lbs if not more and my strength overpowered her ability to strike me and when she realized that she could not move and seen in my eyes that this was not going to happen she began to scream "LET GO OF ME!!" to which I replied "I am going to let you go and when I do you are not going to fucking touch me in any way!!"...I let go, and defeated she walked away. After that she offered no real support other than a place to sleep. I began to steal clothing from people's clotheslines and after wearing the same pair of shoes for so long that my feet are literally deformed, I took a pair of Nikes off of someone's porch. Over the next few years I would have many more legal troubles, assaults, thefts, arsons until the State of Indiana stepped in and made me a ward of the state. I was sentenced and sent to a place called Glen Mills Schools in Concordville, Pennsylvania. It was supposed to be a fresh start and a chance to better myself and I was able to get my HSE, learn computer aided drafting, and I got to compete in powerlifting as well. It was the first time in my life I had seen a dentist even; I was 15 years old and finally I felt hopeful and happy; that would soon change.
If you would like to hear more please leave a comment or like. I also appreciate any feedback about my writing as I am not a professional in any way but always looking to improve my craft. If you made it this far; you are greatly appreciated.
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2023.06.01 18:33 InTheSkyCity 5/31/23 (After Tokyo, Los Angeles.)
“My energy kinetic, the fitted hat by Ebbets.
Yessir.
DJ Drama. Yeah.”
“I like sugar, I like sweets, I don't like the spicy eats. I need bridges in my beats and Campana Brothers seats. The heaven part for me is knowin' I can. Wake up when I'm finished with my sleep, ain't no kids to feed. No stress I bleed, I don't got a boss. I go wherever and don't care 'bout the cost. Gas money was stark for me, uh. Now I got so many cars I could start up. We nappin' in parks, we in the sun gettin' darked up. Chillin' with my suit on. Travel trunk is either Moynat leather or it's Vuitton. Sippin' mint tea like we know the tree the leaf fell from. We come from them tiki punch drinks. Had animosity for dinner, El Pollo Loco. That was in the past, now I parmesan my bolo'. Half a million driftin' and the tire readin' "Toyo". Prefer the alligator logo on my cotton polo. Livin' it up, my nggas is up. Y'all nggas is salty peanuts, we ain't givin' a fuck. 'Cause I'm blessed as hell and I ain't next to jail. Ain't got no psyche hiccups, plus I dress this well. My heaven 24/7, that's heaven.”
“That's heaven to me, yeah. What's heaven to you? Yeah. That's heaven to me, yeah. What's heaven to you, to y'all? Because that's heaven to me, aw-aw.
You gotta love it.”
I had trouble sleeping that morning. I woke up at 3 AM. I woke up sweating, I instantly went up to get some water to drink. I then took ten minutes to open the pain of an ass window that I have in my bedroom.
I assumed that it must’ve been my meds that kept me awake. On the second day I started taking them, I was up until 3 AM. I slept for another hour at some point. I gave up on trying to sleep once it was 6 AM. I took a shower. Not because I wanted to wake myself up, but to get myself ready for work.
I got to work around 10 AM, luckily didn’t deal with the stranger from the day before. I was going to work a lunch buffet at my new job. I’ve done those before, but it’s much more people than Im usually used to. I’ve met some more servers, and I kept ‘training.’ It’s pretty much what I’m used to, but I have a feeling that things are a bit more disorganized.
With my uncle and brother, we pretty much have a strict way on doing things. But nearly everyone here kinda does their own way of doing things. It still gets the job done, but it would be nice if there was a way of doing things.
I was shocked by how the servers were making it more difficult to work by bringing all the plates to the back with their own hands instead of using trays to carry everything.
Doing the buffet wasn’t difficult, well, the only really difficult part being the guests who can be picky. Or the guests who are being smartasses by ignoring me whenever I asked if they’re finished with their plate. It went pretty well though, my supervisor (the family friend who got me the job) seems to be happy with my work so far. He mentioned how I work similar to him, which was a big compliment, I’ve heard from many about how my father was one of the best employees. He also says I resemble my father a lot, but I don’t really see it. People usually say my brother is the one who looks like him. I’m the one that’s the most like my father the good and the bad. I’m pretty sure my mom has even noticed.
I ended up clocking out at around 2 PM. I didn’t actually get home until 4 PM since my manager wanted to speak to me about getting me a schedule. I get to pick any of the shifts I want to work, which is very nice. I soon went on my way home.
I then got an email. “Camp Flog Gnaw Carnival returns to Dodger Stadium November 11-12, 2023.”
Shit. I might actually have a chance to go. I return from Japan on November 8. The original plan was to head home through taking a flight from LA to here since it would save more money. But fuck… I might change my plans.
November 8 is just literal days away from Camp Flog Gnaw. I started thinking of a plan until I noticed my best friend had the same thought once he started messaging me about the news. I was probably making a rushed decision that could cause some consequences. But I was listening to
No More Parties In LA, so could you blame me.
Once I started thinking about the lineup that could possibly show up, and the surprise guests that could possibly show up. Tyler is definitely going to be there. Kendrick Lamar and Baby Keem are pretty much confirmed. There’s a good chance Steve Lacy might be there. I was pretty much sold on the idea once I let my imagination running, especially since I originally planned on going to both Kendrick and Steve’s tours last year, but both were sold out.
Shit, it was an easy decision. I’ll be chilling in LA for a bit until the festival. Fuck, I guess I’m going to be having to save NMPILA for my SOTD when I actually arrive to LA in November. I’m hyped.
I should be good with my family about it. I never exactly told him how much time I’d be gone. So this could work in my favor.
I then got home and instantly ordered some shit for me to eat because I was starving and didn’t feel like making myself something to eat. I then started doing my laundry before heading to the shower since I needed it.
I was actually going to game a bit with my new friend until my father and his girlfriend came in. I was about to bite into my food as well. Nearly screamed into my pillow for a moment once his girlfriend pretty much demanded that we go to Costco. Pretty sure I might’ve upsetted my friend once I told her that I won’t be able to play mortal kombat, so that’s nice.
So we went to Costco. I bought some sandals that didn’t even end up fitting me. I would return them, but I lost my fucking receipt at some point before I got home. I bought this very nice button up. I also bought some groceries as well, the usual stuff my family eats.
I didn’t really do much after that besides actually getting some time to rest. I finally got a chance to eat. I then finished my laundry. I didn’t really do much besides watching some more
Boardwalk Empire, I’m reaching the end of season 3. I then finished up my journal, which ended up being one of my longer ones in months. It was a nice surprise. Today was a decent day.
Song Of The Day:
Tyler The Creator - HEAVEN TO ME submitted by
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2023.06.01 18:11 Suspended_Mind I’m April it will be 2 years.
I’m too ashamed to function anymore.
I had the worst manic episode I’ve ever experienced or seen from anyone else that lasted from summer 2021-March 2022.
I was sent to the psych ward from February-March of 2022 (plus a few shorter stays over the summer and fall of 2021.) I lost everything. My job, my home, my friends, my siblings… the list goes on. People that I had not spoken to since high school (15 years ago) reached out to see if I was ok. Some even reached out and said they couldn’t follow me anymore (I had 20k on Instagram) — I didn’t have the energy to explain myself. I looked like I was going insane — which is why someone I also don’t even talk to called in a wellness check. This check (with 15 Nypd at my apt) made me way more manic and i spiraled. My neighbors found out I went to the psych ward 3x and started a petition to make me leave bc of the police presence. Everyone was scared of me and concluded that I was just crazy. This was in a very old polish established, family oriented & religious neighborhood in Brooklyn. I didn’t know. I was one of the youngest non polish speaking residents on the block - the elders didn’t like this very much. Plus I lived alone. I always knew when they were gossiping. Not to mention ,
this was my landlord: … enjoy the read. That entire experience was traumatizing. Since then, I haven’t worked, seen friends, or gone out. I deleted my Facebook and haven’t posted on Instagram since 2021 (I used to be very active on social media)
I’m 32 (F) and used to have a very active lifestyle with work and friends, living in nyc. My life has been completely turned upside down, empty and void of any purpose or meaning since I came home in April 2022. I eventually got on disability, but this made me feel worse.
I wake up every day hating my life and what it has ultimately come to. I feel the ones I love slipping even farther away from me… with a year of distance between us already. All because of my actions. I don’t feel worthy of reconnecting because I’m not a good friend and I don’t have much to offer anyone anymore. I can barely hold a conversation anymore due to my life being so empty.
I want to work,I want to leave and be on my own again, but when I say I lost everything I mean EVERYTHING. In addition to losing my home, car, family, friends , I no longer have my wardrobe, makeup or any confidence. The medication I started taking made me gain 30lbs.
I’m using the money I’m getting from disability to save up for a car — I’m lucky I get to be home for now and not pay rent. But for now I am completely stuck with no way out of the house and nowhere to go since 2022. Unfortunately my manic episode also put me in $20k debt.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, it’s already been a year and a half of doing nothing and feeling like nothing. My anti depressants are helping but it’s hard when so many things are situational and not just emotional. There are a lot of things that I can’t change that are essential to me moving forward. I don’t know how to move forward in these circumstances and I don’t see a way to change them.
I’m so scared that my life is slowly slipping away from me and that I’m too far gone from the people I care about to ever fully recover our relationships. Not everyone understands mental illness and the most painful thing was watching people take a step back from me — scared or embarrassed to be associated. My own brothers … my own flesh and blood who I love very much haven’t spoken to me since. I’ve reached out, I’ve said sorry, but nothing has changed. They are embarrassed to be associated with. I know this because they told me before I was blocked.
I know I am an absolute loser in people’s eyes now - 32f, single, no job, poor, “unstable.”
Of the people I love, and the people they love, I am the one that nobody would ever want to be. I think about my younger self and how mortified she would be of how my life turned out. I know I’m not that old and “I have time to turn things around, ” but the damage has already been done. This will be in the back of people’s minds forever. People will always be walking on eggshells. They’ll always say they feel bad for me which, for some reason, is the Most Painful thing to hear.
I’ll be cleaning up the mess I made forever. I’ll never be who I wanted to be, and I’ll always feel ashamed of who I am. The prospect of a family, career, home, my future… everything is fading away. Time is moving fast. I’m 33 in a month and a joke in everyone’s eyes.
Sorry this is so long.
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2023.06.01 18:02 katefeetie Trip Report: 2 Weeks in Tokyo, Hakone, Kyoto, Nara, Osaka, Koyasan and Kanazawa
Since this sub was so helpful in planning, I wanted to share my itinerary and trip report! We had an incredible first time in Japan and I can't wait to go back.
Couldn't fit our (very detailed) itinerary in this post, but if you'd like to download it's here. Medium article version with photos + itinerary is
here.
And our shareable Google map is
here.
About us: - We’re New Yorkers in our 30s who have been planning this trip for about 6 months.
- My bf has been learning Japanese for about a year, and I’ve been learning for about 5 months (a mix of Pimsleur and Duolingo).
- Boyfriend is into history and baseball, I'm into skincare and nature, but we’re both big on food so that was our number one priority.
- He has a peanut allergy and avoids all nuts. He learned to say that in Japanese (私はピーナッツアレルギーがあります - "Watashi wa piinattsu arerugī ga arimasu”), and every restaurant and hotel was understanding and careful. Luckily most cuisine is nut-free anyway, but we managed not to have any close calls in 2 weeks which is amazing.
Some overall learnings: - If I were planning this trip again, I think I would skip Kanazawa. It was a lovely town and the food was amazing, but we wished we had spent that time with a night or two in Osaka instead of just making it a day trip from Kyoto.
- Even if you’re not a baseball fan, Japanese baseball games are so much fun. I’ve never experienced anything like it.
- I packed a suitcase and brought a fold-up duffel bag, and halfway through the trip I moved my clothes to the duffel and just used the suitcase for souvenirs. It was a great idea but we ended up buying an extra suitcase at Donki our last day anyway.
- We both felt a bit underdressed compared to locals, especially in Tokyo. I wish I’d packed more dresses, skirts and trousers and fewer jeans and tees - the only people I saw wearing sweats, athletic wear or cutoffs were other tourists. Obviously you can wear what you want, just be aware you’ll stick out! Also, women are generally more covered up, even on warmer days, to protect their skin from the sun.
- If you go clothes shopping, take your shoes off in dressing rooms. I made a right fool of myself.
- Clothes sizing is wildly different in Japan. Know your cm measurements! Your size here may be hurtful to your ego.
- People line up to get on the train (check the ground for a guide of where to stand) and let everyone off before they get on. This seems obvious, but I’ve been living in New York so long that I wanted to weep tears of joy every time.
- If you’re new to sitting showers: there are two buttons. One is to fill up a bowl of water, and the other is to turn on the handheld shower head. Both automatically turn off a minute after you turn them on, but you can also turn them off manually. You sit on the little stool and there’s usually a mirror in front of you, which is… a humbling experience. There are usually also scrubbing washcloths.
- The worst train station toilet was still nicer than a goddamn Nordstrom bathroom. It was a pleasure to have IBS in Japan.
- At many European and American historical sites, you pay a hefty flat fee to see everything. In Japan, you can usually get into the temple grounds for free, then pay for each individual building you go into. Most were 400-700y/person, which felt really reasonable.
- We came at an almost perfect time (mid-May) weather-wise. Most days it was clear or sunny with a high in the mid-seventies. We definitely got some rain, but less than we were expecting (maybe 3-4 rainy days and 5-6 rainy nights).
Hotel Reviews: Tokyu Stay Shinjuku Eastside (Tokyo): This was a great basic hotel, close to plenty of transportation and right on the edge of Kabukicho. The buffet breakfast was the highlight - a great mix of Western and Japanese breakfast options, including a great miso soup.
Hakone Airu (Hakone): Mixed review here. On the one hand, the in-room onsen and public onsen were both wonderful, and the service was extraordinary. On the other hand, the mix of Balinese and Japanese didn’t quite work, and dinner and breakfast were more confusing than enjoyable.
Hotel Alza (Kyoto): By far our favorite stay. I can’t recommend this place enough, and it was definitely worth paying a little extra. They brought us an amazing bento breakfast in our rooms every morning, they had every amenity we could need (they even re-upped the free sheet masks every day), and the micro-bubble bath at the end of a long day of walking was amazing.
Koyasan Syukubo Ekoin Temple (Mt Koya): This was a great temple experience. Koyasan in general is obviously pretty tourist-y, but Eko-in still made it feel authentic, and dinner and breakfast were both amazing. Your stay includes a meditation class, morning prayers and a morning fire ritual, and you can pay to attend a cemetery tour, all of which were great.
Utaimachi (Kanazawa): We were only here for two nights, but this place was pretty good. Very close to the Higashi Chaya area, where we didn’t actually end up spending much time. Always love tatami mat flooring, and the washedryer was a nice bonus, but we were also right next to the lobby and right under another room so there was some noise.
The Gate Asakusa (Tokyo): A great and very Westernized hotel with amazing views of Shinso-ji and the surrounding area. It’s on the top floors of a building right in the middle of all things Asakusa, but is still pretty quiet. And has a wonderful, deep soaking tub with free bath salts.
Tuesday: Arrival, Shinjuku
1 PM: Arrival at Haneda We got customs and immigration forms to fill out on the plane and everything went fairly quickly. Picked up some cash and Suica cards, went to see about taking the Airport Limousine bus ($10/each) but we should have booked in advance because there wasn’t one for another hour. We ended up taking a taxi (about $50) to our hotel in Shinjuku.
4 PM: Arrival at hotel - Tokyu Stay Shinjuku East Side We dropped our luggage and went to a nearby eel restaurant, Shinjuku Unatetsu. The eel was incredible and not too filling. Wandered Kabuki-cho for a bit, I dragged my bf through all 4 floors of Don Quijote (I had a list of beauty items to pick up), then rested at the hotel.
7 PM: Dinner in Shinjuku (Tsunahachi) We went to Tsunahachi for dinner and got some amazing tempura (I wish we had sat at the bar to watch it being made!) and then crashed by 9 pm, because we are young and cool.
Wednesday: Harajuku, Meiji, and Shibuya
7 AM: Hotel breakfast Up early for hotel breakfast, which has convinced bf to start making miso soup every morning.
9 AM: Shinjuku Station - Pick up JR Passes We went to Shinjuku station to pick up our JR passes, then spent 30 minutes finding the place where we could get them before 10 AM. There was a long line (staff shortage) so we waited about an hour but we got them and headed to Harajuku.
11 AM: Meiji Shrine & Yoyogi Park We walked to Meiji Shrine, stopping at the gardens along the way (well worth the 500y entrance fee, especially on a beautiful day). We were lucky to come across a wedding at the shrine. Then we walked around Yoyogi Park a bit.
1 PM: Lunch (Gyoza Lou) Walked into Gyoza Lou and were seated right away. Incredible gyoza as well as beer and bean sprouts with meat sauce - maybe 10 bucks total for 2 people.
1:30 PM: Shopping/museums in Harajuku We split up so I could do some shopping in vintage stores - Flamingo, TAGTAG and Kinji (my favorite), and bf could go to the Ota Memorial Museum for their Cats in Ukiyo-e exhibit (which he loved). I walked down Takeshita street to meet him and managed to get a green tea, strawberry and red bean paste crepe from Marion Crepes.
3 PM: Shibuya Scramble & Hachinko Statue We grabbed the train to Shibuya, saw the scramble and the Hachinko statue, then entered the maze that is Tokyu Hands. I got some onsen powders for gifts and some more cosmetics. My boyfriend checked out the Bic camera store and I went to Gu, which is like the love child of Uniqlo and Primark. I immediately undid all the “light packing” I did with new clothes.
7 PM: Dinner Reservation - Shinjuku Kappu Nakajima I got us a reservation a few months ago at Shinjuku Kappu Nakajima. It was probably one of the best meals of my life. The omakase came out to less than $100usd each, which felt like a steal.
9 PM: Golden Gai bar (Bar Araku) We wandered Golden Gai and went into a bar where the entrance fee was waived for foreigners called Bar Araku. It was very small but had great vibes, highly recommend. I drank too much sake, which will be a theme.
Thursday: Shinjuku
4 AM: Earthquake The phone alerts are insanely loud! We rushed down to the hotel lobby and the only other people there were fellow foreigners - apparently Japanese people at the hotel knew a 5.1 is okay to sleep through.
9 AM: Shinjuku Gyoen We strolled around in the sun taking photos for about 3 hours. Today is a lot less planned than yesterday - I kind of wish I’d switched the itineraries after how long getting the JR Pass took. We did go to the fancy Starbucks, of course.
12 PM: Lunch (Kaiten Sushi Numazuto) We tried to go to a nearby sushi place but it was full, so we walked up to Kaiten Sushi Numazuto. We were a little disappointed it wasn’t actually conveyor belt sushi (the conveyor belt was for show and you ordered from the staff). Stopped in Bic camera afterwards for a bit.
2 PM: Ninja Trick House We tried to go to the Samurai museum but learned it closed a few weeks ago. A good excuse to go to the Ninja Trick House instead. You’re thinking: “Isn’t that place for children?” Yes. Yes it is. And we loved every minute. I now have a camera roll full of myself being terrible at throwing stars. The dream.
3 PM: Don Quijote More Don Quijote, mostly to get out of the rain. Got my last few beauty products I really wanted and a few souvenirs. An overstimulating heaven.
6 PM: 3-hour Shinjuku Foodie Tour We signed up for a 3-hour “foodie tour” of Shinjuku that stopped at a sushi place, a Japanese bbq spot with insane wagyu beef, and a sake tasting spot. It was great, and we loved our guide, but wished it had stopped at a few more spots to try more things.
9 PM: Walk around Shinjuku We attempted to play pachinko, got very confused and lost $7. Tourism!
Friday: Hakone
7 AM: Set up luggage forwarding to Kyoto with hotel Luggage forwarding is brilliant. We did it twice and it went so smoothly, for about $10 USD per bag. Highly recommend.
9 AM: Transit to Hakone We got to experience Japanese transit at rush hour. I can’t believe I have to go back to the MTA after this. We took the subway to Tokyo station and then the Shinkansen to Odawara, then a train to Hakone-Yumoto. The hotel was only a 20-minute walk away, so we decided to take a more scenic route - which turned out to be a forest hike straight up switchbacks most of the way.
11 AM: Lunch in Hakone (Hatsuhana) We stopped in a soba place called Hatsuhana with a system of writing your name down and waiting outside to be called in. They skipped our names because they weren’t in Japanese, but let us in when they realized their mistake. The soba was made and served by old aunties so of course it was insanely good and well worth it.
1 PM: Hakone Open Air Museum We took the train down to the Hakone Open Air Museum, which lived up to the hype. I’m not normally into sculpture, but seeing it in nature, and the way the museum is laid out, made it incredible. And obviously the Picasso exhibit was amazing.
3 PM: Owakudani, Pirate Ship, Hakone Checkpoint We took the train to the cable car to Owakudani, then the ropeway to Togendai, then the pirate ship ferry to Motohakone. We were running behind so unfortunately had to rush through the Hakone Checkpoint, which was empty but very cool.
6 PM: Dinner at hotel Back to our hotel for our kaiseki meal. The staff spoke very little English and Google struggled with the menu, so we had no idea what we were eating half the time, but overall it was pretty good.
9 PM: Onsen time Experienced my first public onsen, followed by the private onsen in our room. The tatami sleep did wonders for my back.
Saturday: Travel to Kyoto, Philosopher’s Path, Gion
8 AM: Breakfast, travel to Kyoto Took the train to Odawara and then the Shinkansen to Kyoto station. We booked all of our Shinkansen seats about a week in advance but you can also book them on the day, I believe.
1 PM: Lunch in Gion Our Kyoto hotel let us check in early, and then we went looking for lunch. Quickly learned that most every place in the Gion area has a line outside and closes at 2! We eventually found a tiny spot with insanely good ramen. It also had chicken sashimi on the menu but we weren’t brave enough.
2 PM: Philosopher’s Path, Ginkaku-ji We took a bus over to the Philosopher’s Path, which was not busy at all because of the rain. It was pretty, and I could see how great it would look in cherry blossom season. We had to kind of rush to Ginkaku-ji, which was gorgeous nonetheless.
4 PM: Honen-in, Nanzen-ji Stopped by Honen-in (which we had completely to ourselves, thanks rain!) and then Nanzen-ji. My bf is a big history guy and he went feral for the Hojo rock garden. It was very pretty and I’d love to see it in better weather.
6 PM: Food Tour of Gion & Pontocho This food tour stopped at two places (an izakaya and a standing bar) with a walking tour of Gion and Pontocho in between. We also stopped at Yasaka shrine and caught a rehearsal of a traditional Japanese performance.
10 PM: Pain My feet hurt so bad. Bring waterproof shoes, but make sure they don’t have 5 year old insoles. I tried some stick-on cooling acupuncture foot pads I picked up at Donki and they were bliss.
Sunday: Arashiyama, The Golden Pavilion and Tea Ceremony
8 AM: Arashiyama Bamboo Forest The forecast was for heavy rain all day, but we lucked out and only got a few drizzles here and there. We headed to Arashiyama Bamboo Forest in the morning and it wasn’t too crowded. We did have an amazing bamboo dish at dinner last night so now bamboo makes me hungry.
10 AM: Tenryu-ji, Iwatayama Monkey Park Headed over to Tenryu-ji, which was very nice but very crowded, and then to one of the things I looked forward to most on the trip, the Iwatayama Monkey Park. It’s a 20 minute hike up there but it is worth it. Oh my god. Getting to feed a baby monkey made my whole week.
12 PM: Lunch near Arashiyama (Udon Arashiyama-tei) Headed back down to the main road and got duck udon at a little place called Udon Arashiyama-tei. I know I keep calling everything incredible but… yes.
1 PM: Ginkaku-ji Ran into some bus issues (the first time we experienced anything public transit-wise not running as expected!) but eventually got over to Ginkaku-ji. It was also very crowded (seems like Japanese schools are big on field trips, which I’m jealous of) and not my favorite temple, but beautiful nonetheless.
3 PM: Daitoku-ji We were ahead of schedule so we got to spend some time at our meeting place for the tea ceremony, Daitoku-ji. It ended up being our favorite temple, especially Daisen-in, a small and very quiet spot with a great self-guided tour. The monks showed us a section normally closed to non-Japanese tourists with beautiful calligraphy.
4 PM: Tea Ceremony (90 mins) The tea ceremony we booked said it was in groups of up to ten, but it ended up being just us. It was very nice and relaxing, plus we got a little meal.
6 PM: Dinner (Gion Kappa), Pontocho Alley We both nearly fell asleep on the bus back so we took it easy for the night. Went to an izakaya called Gion Kappa which had the best tuna belly we’d ever eaten, then did a quick walk around Pontocho Alley, got treats at 7-11 and went to bed early.
Monday: Fushimi Inari, Nishiki Market, Kyoto Imperial Palace (kinda)
9 AM: Fushimi Inari Our plans to get up super early to beat the crowds to Fushimi Imari were hampered by the fact that we are no longer in our 20s. It was packed by the time we got there, and the amount of littering and defacing done by tourists was a bummer.
11 AM: Tofuku-ji We had planned to go to the Imperial Palace at 10:30 for the Aoi Parade, but decided instead to get away from crowds by hiking from Fushimi Inari to Tofuku-ji, which was beautiful (I’d love to see it in the fall).
12 PM: Nishiki Market, lunch (Gyukatsu) Grabbed lunch first at Gyukatsu (wagyu katsu - delicious) then wandered Nishiki a bit. It’s touristy, but fun.
2 PM: Kyoto Gyoen, Kyoto Handicraft Center It was supposed to rain all day but ended up sunny, so we went back to the hotel to drop off our rain jackets and umbrellas. Stepped back outside and within ten minutes it was raining. We went to Kyoto Gyoen and saw the outside of the imperial palace; it was closed because of the parade earlier and half the garden was blocked off because the former emperor was visiting. Without the palace, Kyoto Gyoen is kind of meh. We walked over to Kyoto Handicraft Center which was also meh, but we picked up some nice lacquerware.
7:30 PM: Dinner at Roan Kiku Noi We had a reservation at Roan Kiku Noi where we had maybe the best meal of our lives. Amazing that it only has two Michelin stars, honestly. Had fun trying to decipher the pain meds aisle at a Japanese pharmacy afterwards and then called it a night.
Tuesday: Day Trip to Nara
8 AM: Travel to Nara We took the subway to the JR and were there in about an hour.
9 AM: Nara Deer Park Two things about the Nara deer. One: if you bow to them, they bow back, and it’s very cute. And two, if you buy the 200y rice crackers to feed to them, do it somewhere where there aren’t very many of them. I got mobbed by like 15 deer and bitten 3 times. My fault for having skin approximately the shade of a rice cracker.
10 AM: Kofuku-ji, Nara National Museum We saw Kofuku-ji and then the Nara National Museum, then stopped at a random little cafe for rice bowls with some kind of regional sauce (I can’t find it now!).
12 PM: Isetan Garden We spent a long time finding the entrance to the Isetan garden only for it to be closed on Tuesdays.
2 PM: Giant Buddha Saw Nandaimon Gate and the Daibutsu (giant Buddha), which are both every bit as enormous and glorious as advertised, as well as very crowded.
3 PM: Kasuga-taisha Shrine Wandered over to Kasuga-taisha shrine, which is famous for its hundreds of lanterns and thousand-year-old trees. There’s a special inner area (paid) where you can see the lanterns lit up in the dark.
4 PM: Wait for the emperor We got held up by a procession for, guess who, the former emperor again. Stalker.
5 PM: Nara shopping and snacks Walked around Higashimuki Shopping Street and Mochiidono Shopping Arcade, bought a nice sake set and an amazing little hand-painted cat, ate some red bean paste pancakes and headed back to Kyoto.
7 PM: Dinner in Kyoto Walked around Pontocho searching for dinner and landed on Yoshina, where we got even more kaiseki. Finished the night at Hello Dolly, a gorgeous jazz bar overlooking the river.
Wednesday: Day Trip to Osaka
7 AM: Depart hotel Started by taking the subway to the JR. Took us about an hour altogether, though it would have been faster if we’d caught the express.
9 AM: Osaka Castle We got to Osaka Castle in time for it to hit 85 degrees out. The outside of the castle is gorgeous, but the line to get in was long and I don’t know if the museum parts were worth the wait, especially with the crowds. The view from the top is nice, though.
12 PM: Okonomiyaki lunch (Abeton) We went to an okonomiyaki spot in Avetica station called Abeton that was full of locals and absolutely bomb as hell.
1 PM: Shitteno-ji, Keitakuen Gardens We headed to Shitteno-ji (our oldest temple yet) which was nice, though the climb to the top of then 5 story pagoda wasn’t worth the sweat. Then we walked over to Keitakuen Gardens, a small but gorgeous garden in Tennoji Park. Had a nice sit in the shade to digest and plan our next moves.
3 PM: Ebisuhigasbi, Mega Don Quijote I am a crazy person, so I had to go to the Mega Don Quijote. We walked around Ebisuhigasbi for a while first, and while I was buying gifts in Donki, my boyfriend entered a sushi challenge for westerners (which turned out to just be “can a white boy handle wasabi”) and won a bunch of random crap! Now we own Japanese furniture wipes.
5 PM: Dotonbori & America-mura We took the Osaka Loop to the Dotonbori area, which was super crowded as expected. We walked around America-mura and enjoyed seeing what they think of us. There are great designer vintage clothing shops here if that’s your thing.
6 PM: Dinner (Jiyuken) We tried to get into Koni Doraku, a crab restaurant, but they were booked up, so we went to a tiny spot called Jiyuken for curry instead. I would do things for this curry. It was the platonic ideal of curry. It was served by old Japanese aunties from a very old recipe, so we knew it was going to be good, but it exceeded our wildest expectations… for <1000y each.
7 PM: Return to Kyoto My feet were feeling real bad (the Nikes may look cool but they cannot support 25k steps a day) so we headed back to Kyoto and packed for our early morning tomorrow.
Thursday: Travel to Koyasan, Temple Stay
8 AM: Bus from Kyoto to Koyasan The transit from Kyoto to Mt Koya is complicated, so we ended up just booking a bus directly from Kyoto Station to Koyasan (which barely cost more than public transit!). We got there bright and early for the 3 hour trip - if you take a bus out of Kyoto Station I definitely recommend giving yourself extra time to navigate to the right bus.
11 AM: Arrive at Eko-in, lunch We arrived in Mt Koya and checked in to our temple, Eko-in. The quiet and the beauty hit me hard and I fell asleep for a few hours. We got a nice lunch at Hanabishi in town.
4 PM: Meditation class, dinner The temple offered a meditation class, which was lovely, followed by a vegan dinner in our rooms. I can’t explain how peaceful this place was.
7 PM: Okuno-in Cemetery We signed up for a monk-led tour of Okuno-in, which was definitely worth it. Came back for some public baths and fell asleep to the sound of rainfall.
Friday: Travel to Kanazawa, Higashi Chaya District
7 AM: Service & ritual at Eko-in The day started with a religious service and a fire ritual at the temple. Both were stunning. I did wish that my fellow tourists had been a bit more respectful by showing up on time and following directions, but luckily, no one has more patience than a Buddhist monk.
9 AM: Travel to Kanazawa We took a taxi through some sketchy mountain roads to Gokurakubashi Station, took two trains to Osaka Station, and then the JR Thunderbird to Kanazawa.
1 PM: Arrive at Kanazawa, Lunch (Maimon) We got into Kanazawa station and went straight for a sushi spot called Maimon, which was delicious. Struggled a bit with the bus system and eventually got to our hotel, Utaimachi.
4 PM: Higashi Chaya District Wandered the Higashi Chaya district a bit. It seemed kind of dead, but maybe we are just used to the hustle and bustle of Tokyo/Kyoto.
7 PM: Korinbo, dinner (Uguisu) Walked down to the Korinbo area southwest of the park and found a tiny ramen spot called Uguisu. Incredible. Some of the best broth I’ve ever tasted plus amazing sous vide meats.
9 PM: Bar in Korinbo (Kohaku) Went to a little upstairs whiskey bar called Kohaku. Boyfriend got Japanese whiskey and they made me a custom cocktail with sake, pineapple and passion fruit that was just insane. They were very nice and talked baseball with us for a while.
Saturday: Omicho Market, Kanazawa Castle, 21st Century Museum
9 AM: Kenroku-en Garden We walked over to Kenroku-en Gardens, which were as beautiful as advertised. I was hurting pretty bad (crampy ladies, just know Japanese OTC painkillers are much weaker than ours, BYO Advil) so we’re moving slowly today.
12 PM: Omicho Market, lunch (Iki-Iki Sushi) Walked to Omicho Market and ate little bits from different stalls, then waited about an hour to get into Iki-Iki Sushi. It was worth it. Some of the best, freshest sushi of my life.
2 PM: Kanazawa Castle, 21st Century Museum of Contemporary Art We walked around Kanazawa Castle a bit, then walked over to the 21st Century Museum of Contemporary Art. It was packed and the line to get tickets to the special exhibits was crazy, so we looked at the free ones and then headed back. Along the way we stopped in a few little stores and bought some handcrafted lacquerware from a local artist.
6 PM: Onnagawa Festival, dinner (Huni) As we walked towards the restaurant, we came upon the Onnagawa Festival on the Plum Bridge, which included a beautiful dancing ceremony and lantern lighting. We went to Huni for dinner, our first “westernized Japanese” restaurant, and it was fantastic. 9 dishes served slowly over 3 hours at a table overlooking the river. Highly recommend if you’re in Kanazawa.
10 PM: Why does the bathtub have a phone We went back to our hotel, struggled with the automated bathtub, and enjoyed our last night on tatami floors.
Sunday: Travel to Tokyo, Tokyo Giants Game, Ueno Park
7 AM: Travel to Tokyo Grabbed a taxi we arranged the night before to Kanazawa Station - it would have been an easy bus journey but our number of bags has increased - and boarded the Shinkansen for Tokyo.
12 PM: Travel to Tokyo Dome and Tokyo Dome Park Dropped our bags at our hotel in Asakusa, then headed for Tokyo Dome. We got there a little early to look around - there’s basically a full mall and food court and amusement park there. We grabbed some beers and some chicken katsu curry that was delicious.
2 PM: Tokyo Giants vs Chunichi Dragons Japanese baseball games are so. much. fun. This was a random mid season game, and the stadium was full and people were amped. I’ve been to many American baseball games and never seen fans this excited. We also scored some fried cheese-wrapped hot dogs on a stick and a few more beers and had the time of our lives cheering for the Giants.
5 PM: Ueno Park After trying and failing to find the jersey we were looking for, we walked to Ueno Park and looked around a bit. It was lovely, but we were exhausted and full of too many beers, so we headed back to Asakusa.
7 PM: Dinner in Asakusa There was a festival all day around Shinso-ji and there were a ton of street vendors and day-drunk people when we arrived in the afternoon (as a native Louisianan, I approve) and it seemed like the partiers were going on into the night. We ducked into a restaurant for some buckwheat soba (never got the name, but it was only okay) and tucked in early.
Monday: Tsukiji Food Tour, Kapabashi Dougu, Akihabara
8 AM: 3-hour Tsukiji Food Tour + lunch We started the day with a Tsukiji food tour, which ended up being my favorite food tour of the 3 by far. The guide was great, and we stopped by a dozen food stalls and sampled everything from mochi to fresh tuna to octopus cakes. We finished with lunch at Sushi Katsura, where our chef prepared everything in front of us.
12 PM: Imperial Palace, Don Quijote We were planning to spend the afternoon exploring the Imperial Palace and Edo Castle Ruins, but it was hot and the palace was closed, so we walked to Taira no Masakado's Grave, then headed back to Asakusa for, you guessed it, Don Quijote. I did not intend for this trip to be “guess how many Don Quijotes I can visit” but here we are. We bought another suitcase and I filled it with food and gifts to bring home.
3 PM: Kappabashi Dougu We walked Kappabashi Dougu and browsed kitchenwares while wishing we had a bigger kitchen, an unlimited budget and a way to get a hundred pounds of porcelain home in one piece.
6 PM: Akihabara dinner + games + drinks We took the train to Akihabara, got dinner at Tsukada Nojo, then played games in a few arcades and ended the night at Game Bar A-button, which lets you play vintage handheld games while you drink.
Tuesday: Senso-ji, Flight
9 AM: Breakfast, Senso-ji We got breakfast pancakes at Kohikan, then walked around Senso-ji and the surrounding shopping streets for a while.
12 PM: McDonald’s Look, I couldn’t leave Japan without doing it, okay? I got the Teriyaki Chicken Burger (too sloppy and sweet) and bf got the Ebi Filet-O (he said it tasted exactly like a Filet-O-Fish). It was not great but I deserve that!
3 PM: Cab to the airport I caught the flu on the flight home and have now been in bed for a week! Welcome back to America, baby.
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2023.06.01 17:26 TheMadDriver Thoughts on prop 22 California?
Have any of you found a way to completely abuse the prop 22 earnings now to my understandings correct me if I’m wrong I live in the Bay Area East Bay Minimum wage for contra costa county is $15.50 now I am guaranteed a minimum of 120% of that plus $0.34c per mile That comes out to a minimum of $18.60 plus the change
$18.94 per hour of actively having a passenger in my car not on my way to a pick up AND I believe this has to be base pay so surges quest tips are not included to this $18.94 a hour
So since the pay has gone down hill so bad that we are hardly getting offers for $1.00 per mile and hardly getting offers that would put us at $35 to $40 a hour it is only profitable to accept the trips that is the shortest distance to the pick up locations and to never go for any long pick up destination
This prop 22 stuff to me is just very odd I mean yeah it’s nice they literally give us a guarantee pay but can you imagine if it was online time compared to actively having someone in our car time
And yet I someone never get prop 22 to kick in so my base pay of being a driver is for sure more then $18.94 a hour with no tips no surges no quest counting only active hours
But if you are someone that gets prop 22 every single week at that point you have to be doing something wrong and by the time you calculate your cost of gas car washes car depreciation you would be better off working at mc Donald’s for $15.50 minimum a hour at that point lol
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2023.06.01 16:39 quewasoeseman Feeling detached and paranoid about the people that sorround me.
It's a really long story so bear with me. For as long as I (M25) can remember I've always had trouble making and maintains friendships. As a kid growing up in a super toxic and abusive household I've always been reserved and shy, terrified of people. And what little friendships I've managed to procure during that period always ended because I got a little too much (just this year I've learned that I have ADHD), that's to say, when I found something I got passionate about it was the only thing I talked about. To the point where I pushed people away because it got really annoying. Maybe that's why I always feared talking my mind or about things that I like. Out of fear of being rejected for just being myself. Plus an unhealthy relationship with my parents (specially dealing with an alcoholic mother and an emotionally distant, workaholic father), a troublesome school life (I was angry, and always got into trouble because it was the only way my parents paid attention to me) probably didn't help. Adding to the fact that in my country (Bolivia), specially during that period, mental health is a non existent concept. So I've always kind of "adapted" never truly speaking my mind and just going with the flow of things just to survive the ruthless social ambiance I grew up in. Adding to the fact that both my parents, my school an many of my "friends" gaslit me into thinking that I'm always the one at fault. When I reacted angrily I was being "overdramatic", when I felt sad I "had no reason to be", when I felt happy there was always someone to burst my bubble. So I grew up lonely, because everytime I tried to open myself up I ended up getting hurt, I grew up at first pretending that I didn't care about anything because that way I seemed invisible and unbothered (when deep down I died a little bit), never showing my true self out of fear of being rejected, as I had everytime I showed it. It took me many years of therapy to finally feel comfortable with myself, confident in my abilities, my looks and my decisions. I've never been more assertive and confident in my life. But I think it's also why my social circle has been reduced from, not many friends, but a stable number of around 6 to 7 to just 3. Funny thing is, when I was depressed it felt like I had people behind my back, that took me out of my house or came to my place to check in on me. Yet now, I get ghosted, everytime I reach out to do something I get rejected. The "friends" I had during that period go out almost weekly and don't include me. And I fear it's because I'm getting a little too much again. I fear I give the impression of a really arrogant man for just showing my successes and achievements. I fear that everytime I show my interests (gymnastics, guitar and car culture) I end up looking like an asshole or some fuck boy, shallow and with nothing to really write home about. I've also had my closest relationship gaslight me into assuming blame for things I had no control over. For example I had two "best friends" who ended the relationship because one got jealous of me for just talking in a friendly manner to his crush and the other because I was dissociating one time he got drunk and got himself into a fight (it was the first and only time I wasn't there to help him with whatever problem he faced) and the latter one reacted by punching low, accusing me of "always playing victim" (and as a victim of gaslighting and abusive relationships it really got to me). So now I'm in a position where I feel paranoid of the people around me. Waiting for them to leave o with me leaving before they get the chance. I'm in a position where because I have an avoidant type of attachment I isolate myself and loose contact with the people close to me. I'm in a position where I crave for companionship yet I'm terrified of reaching out, out of fear of getting hurt again.
Edit: added sex and age.
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2023.06.01 15:28 Althnertiv My parents: a novel. What is the solution to turbulent water under the bridge?
I love my mom. I guess. She really loves me Went all out as a mom. PTO president, troop leader, took me to after school stuff. Threw me fancy parties. Read me lots of books.Gave me lots of gifts. Give you the shirt off her back type of lady, for sure. Ran a six figure business until my teens! Then it went belly up. Ran it for 10 more years at a loss. I saw her lose a lot of people she loved, from senseless tragedy to old age. Now she is spending her retirement years taking care of her very wealthy older father who throws her tiny scraps of approval, infrequently. He needs help. He fell three years ago, probably shouldn't live alone, is 96, and can't even heat up food without help she's over there two days a week thats all she can apparently do in a week. I can't even come over and fix dinner to try and spend some time with them. Cracks open the first tall boy at 330, then it's a joint, another tall boy, another joint. Every day. I drink a bit more than I want (like three days a week), so I have a hard time judging her. My dad is almost 60 and still runs a remodeling business so he's tired but she's always like " no your dad is too tired for that" I try to get together for holidays and she's like "not unless you come clean my house!" Guys it's a disaster. Cat feces needs scraped off lineoleum. Nick nacks everywhere. Food sits out for months. I'm allergic to the house and get hives. I tried to be her housekeeper as a teen and I think it was the single most factor in destroying my mental health. She has enough dirty laundry in the house to fill the biggest U-Haul. "Wish you'd help me.clean out this closet!" It's a 4,000 square foot house piled to the brim. Dog pee on the carpets. I never had clean towels, never had toilet paper in my swanky bathroom with a marble jacuzzi tub (highlighting the weird dynamic). My stepbrothers room had a crunchy spilled soda pond I spent half a summer trying to fix when he moved out. He lived with us for one year. He was violent, on meth, brought home really scary people. custom built a bass system that was so loud we would all have to leave the house when he wouldn't turn it off. He got in huge physical fights with my dad over things like "time to go to school". So police came and went. He once jacked off on my bed and left the evidence I was 12 years old! He had verrrry noisy sex with his girlfriend all the time in the room across from me, and I'd like ask my parents to help but they wouldnt. They couldn't! He was a violent meth head! He also did weird shit to me when I was a kid, but I like thought that it made me special so I welcomed it. My parents were like "that's just normal kissing cousins stuff!" They would never let me donate any toys or get rid of things or help me clean, so I did start just tossing old crap into one of the guest rooms until it was waist high. (Dad would dig things out of the garbage and put them by my door to tell me it wasn't okay to throw out a messed up/ unwanted toy) so I spent another summer fixing that. I spent 5 hours a day doing housekeeping. They did pay me, minimum wage, which I used to buy all my back to school clothes at the end of the summer. It was just... Soul crushing. And lonely.. I was so lonely in summer. I stayed home while my mom and dad worked (the two step brothers only lived in the house for a year) so alone in the mess from 8-5 m-f then they come home, go smoke in their room, chat, and have a beer until 6.. my mom might fix dinner, might order something, might have oatmeal or something. Then they would watch TV in their room from 7 until they tucked me in at night. They sang me affectionate good night songs until 8th grade though?? Next, I was a moody antisocial teen who started experimenting with drugs so their solution was to keep me from getting in legal trouble by providing the pot themselves. They smoked lots of pot with me when I was a teen and while I'm 420 friendly I don't think smoking out your 15 y/o three to five times a day is healthy. My mom jokes about me knocking on their door "wake and bake!" Ew! I was suicidal, self harming, only loosely tethered to reality in my opinions about the supernatural and also super paranoid (psychotic, I was borderline psychotic, hence being diagnosed with borderline personality disorder in the mental institution (in name only and not officially on my dx sheer thanks to a savvy counselor who didn't want to stick a code on me for life)) I was having sex with like, everyone. Sneaking out all the times getting super messed up, and after they found me overdosed on the floor (week in a coma in the hospital) (child services talked to them and required institutionalization) they got me help, good help. Thank whatever God there is for Mr Eagle, my counselor who had the "how do you eat an elephan? Piece by piece. Mentality of breaking life down into manageable chunks. Dealing only with your own problems, and not busying yourself with things outside of your control as those are not your responsibility (will revisit this at the end) ( money bags grandpa paid for it, btw I spent some nice times as a younger with Grandpa and do have a special relationship with him but also it tense probably because of the way him and my.mom get on? Maybe I feel ashamed about not investing well in my twenties because we would pull money out since we had very little of it and needed things like a down payment on a house or a major car repair, or a hospital bill, maybe because he cheated on my grandma at like 82 and then she pretty much laid down and died? Maybe because I feel weird about myself and insecure and inadequate? I'm afraid I seem greedy around him too and don't want him to think I want money so I try to fake being more financialy good than I am. I'm not bad off tho, for a single income family where the hubs is a hardware store manager.. got about a years income saved and I think that's pretty dope rly ) Back to parents: both of them have this "don't make a mountain out of a molehill" dismissive, don't deal with your problems attitude to everything so like... I'm the complete opposite, kinda anal. And I can be mean and resentful. Now they are also very into Jesus and are disappointed that I'm not. I "led them to Christ" when I was a post suicidal teen looking for change. Their only change was that they were in church and hiding all their habits. My dad has a super close relationship to my ex sister in law and they talk all the time, he gave her a job, she had a hard life, now she loves God and they are like so close. I'm very sad about it. I do feel betrayed. It also hurt my brother, the okay one. He stayed away for a decade since the ex was always at our house or with my dad working. So then I started buying groceries in college when I had a job, and cooking for myself but my dad is too picky to eat anything I'd make. My mom only bought frozen and shelf stable things and I was pretty crunchy and wanted lots of fresh stuff to eat. Moving on, my mom is always complaining about her dad being so needy and won't pay for help, her sister is useless (mind you he just calls the sister fat, and talks a lot of shit to her, I wouldn't help either. I don't like to come around cuz he's kinda too old school with my kids) my mom is also in terrible health. She fell down the stairs several times now, drunk. She's had some surgeries. She smokes a ton and is always coughing. So here we are: Shes about to move in next door. Shes "excited for the first time in a long time" and I kind of am,but mostly? I'm worried. I have four kids, that she basically never helps with. She doesn't have to, they're my kids. I would appreciate her help but I'm afraid of her being too close to the kids.I don't want her in my business, I don't want my tween running over there everytime something is going on... like today our neighbors dog killed the cat, and if my mom lives there she would have seen the commotion.. I just don't want her having such a window into my life. I like to control what information she has. Everything she says drives me ducking nuts. She's always bragging about me like she shares in my accomplishments, and maybe she kinda does but I worked in college, she didn't help pay. I lived at home and paid my bills and bought my own food! When I did tell her about the cat her response bothered me. I regretted calling. I ALWAYS REGRET SHARING THINGS WITH HER. She tells all my secrets and portrays me in the same trashy podunk light she lives under. I don't really want to play best friends with her. Oh, I'm her "best friend" she's always so happy and proud to say I'm her "best friend" I'm not her best friend. I can barely stand her and while I did decide in the last year I was sick of being everyone's emotional trash can and I was at least going to share my grief too, so I do occasionally talk to her about my problems, I find everything she has to say so trite and so basic and so utterly uninformed and unhelpful. I need to spank the kids is always her answer (I was never spanked lol) She can't ever just be better, read a book, or do something healthy. She wants to eat drive through food and drink loads of bud light. Shes going to have all these health problems and I'm her "only one in the world" I do have a dad of course, who she trashed to me (from his work ethic, to my step brothers, to their sex life-apprently he's too horny!?! Wtf) so much in my teens I only recently have been able to even talk to.. he's also standoffish and thinks (slow southern drawl) "men are just quiet ain't no need to talk about everthing" Now she's telling me how she's going to be a brand new woman as my neighbor. Shes so happy! I want to be happy for her Shit I want her to babysit! I want family dinners. I want to like love each other. But I loathe her "good morning I love you!" Text every day She just doesn't get me. She does try to respect boundaries, but it's because I'm "over sensitive" and too emotional. . . I just don't know where to set boundaries.i don't want to be so judgemental because I'm so afraid I will not be any better as a parent 😭 I don't know what's worth talking about. I don't know how to appreciate the good mom I have who also has tons of irritating faults. She really would do anything for me if I asked. But I won't ask because I resent her! Or perhaps because she's already soooo burdened and she can't handle it. How do you move past your shit with your parents? Also she's like "you can't ever move now!" And like.. we definitely know we want to move eventually. Plus I don't want to take care of her problems. Like I get helping your old parents but goddamnit I had kids young because the church cult I joined myself to was very pro baby. It's the only thing we should do with our lives blah blah blah. I love being a mom and wife. I got married at 19. Kids at 21, so when I'm like 45.. I have no interest in taking care of my old parents who lived it up. I want to go to medical school or something dramatic in my later years. We always wanted to move abroad with our teens (me a nurse, hubs a teacher). IDK I'm just so irritated with her for her crappy parts and not sure how to still love her, which I want to, because my gosh I will be so sad when she's gone. I was always so afraid as a little kid of her dying. Nightmare after nightmare 😭I want to love her well but also be able to manage my own mental health and family. How do we do that?!?! Ps she just was given half a million dollars by my other grand parents to build a house. I live in a squatty (but lovely, my dad fixed it up nice for us, with ex sister in law, weird weird weird)two bedroom next door which I bought, (for a good price but bad foundation, had to replace roof, had to replace half the subfloors and some.joists from water damage) instead of another home because it was a childhood home for my dad, long in the family, and she was going to lose it in the bankruptcy. So I bought the house to save the house for the family. I have land. I do love my 2 bed 800 sf house.. but seeing her getting money and being "cracker rich" as she calls it, again, is.. ugh. They were also given the house I live in, for free. I bought it They were given it for free. I feel like I'm also viewed as this weak emotional spoiled girl by them all (parents, sil, brothers) too, which feels very unfitting(brothers have received gobs of bail money, surcharge money, probation fees, new cars when they totaled theirs) and like yes my grandpa once insisted on buying me a Buick for 5k which broke down constantly, needed the engine replaced, and I tried to tell him I didn't want (could afford a new car but it felt irresponsible to buy one when someone is trying to gift you a car... His name was on the note too so I couldn't even trade it in... Strings) and yes he once gave me 10k unsolicited 🤍 gave my mom 30k and it sure disappeared. Mine did too tbh. Bought a patio to enclose to make more space. But I put myself through school, I worked the whole time, although at 14 it was housekeeping for my folks, I worked on a hotel in college, and as a nurse until I had my first baby. Sure I stay home but I can't afford daycare?! And I want to love the babies and created a better family. IDK. What the hell do I do from here? How do we make the family.. work?!?! What do I change? What do I accept that I can't change? Can I run away 😭
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2023.06.01 14:55 holapapaya 26 [F4M] indoor golf date! Teach me
I am looking for someone I can vibe with! We can talk to online for quite some time then go on a golf date in Golfx or other SFW dates if we vibe :) teach me tho cause im a noob
What I look like: - I’m chinita na medyo morena skin tone, short hair, 5’2, average body/normal BMI
Other details: - Single and childfree - DLSU grad - Can host - Remote worker, financially stable - Into boxing, jogging/walking - Funny, extroverted, progressive (kakampink)
About you: - 24 to 33, single and childfree - 5’7 above - Financially stable (plus if remote worker also) - Big 3 grad (hopefully from dlsu also) - Has a car and willing to drive us around - Can host is a plus but I got that covered naman - Chinito/moreno - Works out - Kind, kakampink, respectful of boundaries, funny (mix of jejemon & conyo pls), caring, chivalrous
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2023.06.01 14:12 sonofabutch No game today, so let's remember a forgotten Yankee: Jackie Jensen, "The Golden Boy"
Jackie Jensen, "The Golden Boy", was a superstar athlete in the 1940s who seemed destined for greatness as the heir to Joe DiMaggio... only to be supplanted by a different golden boy, the great Mickey Mantle.
Jensen would eventually live up to the hype, but with the Red Sox -- but his career ended prematurely because, as baseball expanded to the west coast, his fear of flying made road games unbearable!
The Yankees between 1947 and 1964 were utterly dominant, winning 15 pennants and 10 World Series. And it wasn't just the major league team that was successful. The Yankees of this era were loaded up and down the system, from Rookie ball to their
two Triple-A teams!
With such a loaded major league roster, the Yankees had many talented players stuck either on the end of the bench or in the minors who would eventually find an opportunity with other teams, including
Bob Cerv, Vic Power, Gus Triandos, Lew Burdette, Jerry Lumpe, Bob Porterfield, and Bob Keegan, all named All-Stars with other teams after leaving the Yankees. Clint Courtney would be the 1952 A.L. Rookie of the Year runner-up after the Yankees traded him to the Browns, and Bill Virdon was the 1955 N.L. Rookie of the Year with the Cardinals (and then Yankee manager from 1974 to 1975!).
But the most talented player who just couldn't find the playing time in New York was
Jack Eugene Jensen, born March 9, 1927, in San Francisco. His parents divorced when he was 5, and he grew up poor, his mother working six days a week, 12 hours a day. Jensen said the family moved 16 times between kindergarten and eighth grade -- "every time the rent came due."
After serving in the U.S. Navy during World War II, Jensen went to the University of California in 1946 on the G.I. Bill. There he became one of the most famous college players in the country, leading Cal to the Rose Bowl. In 1947, he was the starting fullback as well as the team's top defensive back, and in 1948, he rushed for 1,000 yards and was an All-American.
He also was a tremendous two-way baseball player, pitching and hitting for the Golden Bears in 1947 as the won the very first College World Series, beating a Yale team that had George H.W. Bush playing first base. In 1949, he was an All-American in baseball, too.
His blond hair, good looks, and athletic accomplishments earned him the nickname "The Golden Boy."
Halfway through his junior year, Jensen left Berkeley to turn pro. Jensen would later say he couldn't risk playing a career-ending injury playing for free while teams -- baseball and football -- were trying to sign him to big-money contracts.
"There was a money tree growing in my backyard. Why shouldn't I pluck off the dollars when I wanted to?"
Jensen considered a number of offers, including from the Yankees, before signing a three-year, $75,000 contract with the Oakland Oaks of the Pacific Coast League. Jensen said he thought he'd face better competition in the Pacific Coast League, the top minor league of the era, than he would at the bottom of the Yankee farm system. He was right about it being more of a challenge -- he hit an unimpressive .261/.317/.394 in 510 plate appearances with the Oaks.
At the end of the year, the Oaks sold his contract (and that of Billy Martin, another Northern California kid) to the Yankees.
That same year,
Jensen married his high school sweetheart, Zoe Ann Olsen, an Olympic diver. (By age 18, she had won 14 national diving championships and a silver medal in the 1948 Olympics.) "Together they looked like a Nordic god and goddess,"
Sports Illustrated reported. Nicknamed "the sweethearts of sports," they were the Dansby Swanson and Mallory Pugh of their era. More than 1,000 people attended their wedding.
Jensen would start the 1950 season not in the minors but in the Bronx. He joined the Yankees in a time of flux. They though they'd won the 1949 World Series, the Yankees knew they had to make some changes, with 35-year-old Joe DiMaggio nearing the end of his career. And their heir apparent was not Mickey Mantle -- at the time an 18-year-old shortstop playing in the Class C league, the equivalent of A-ball today -- but the 23-year-old Jensen.
But Jensen disappointed, hitting just .171/.247/.300 in 70 at-bats, and only starting in 13 games. Watching from the bench most of the season, Jensen would later lament the lost year of development, saying he'd have been better off playing every day in the Pacific Coast League.
The Yankees won the pennant for a second straight year, and in the World Series he once again was left on the bench. His only action was as a pinch runner in Game 3 as the Yankees swept the Phillies. That "Moonlight Graham" appearance would be his only taste of the post-season in an 11-year career.
The following year would be DiMaggio's last, and Mantle's first. Jensen began the year as the Yankees' starting left fielder and proved he belonged, hitting .296/.371/.509 through the end of July... and then, shockingly, was demoted to Triple-A and replaced with previously forgotten Yankee
Bob Cerv.
I can see why they called up Cerv -- the University of Nebraska stand-out was tearing up Triple-A, leading the American Association in batting average (.349), home runs (26), triples (21), RBIs (101), and total bases (261) -- but why demote Jensen, who had a 140 OPS+ in the majors? Maybe the Yankees felt the brash 23-year-old needed to be taken down a peg. In any event, Cerv hit just .214/.333/.250 in August and was sent back to Triple-A, but Jensen also was left down there. He hit .263/.344/.469 and was recalled after the Triple-A season ended, only getting into three games (he went 3-for-9).
Mantle, too, had started the season with the Yankees, and after hitting .260/.341/.423 through the middle of July, was sent down to Triple-A. But he hit .361/.445/.651 in 166 at-bats, and unlike Jensen was back in the bigs by August 24. He would play pretty much every game the rest of the season, hitting .284/.370/.495 in 95 at-bats.
The torch had clearly been passed -- Jensen was no longer the heir apparent to DiMaggio. In the World Series that year, Mantle was the starting right fielder, and Jensen wasn't even on the post-season roster.
Jensen was so disappointed with how the Yankees had treated him in 1951 that he talked to the San Francisco 49ers about switching to pro football, but ultimately decided to stick with baseball.
Never shy about what he said to reporters, Jensen told
The Sporting News on October 24, 1951:
"I felt so badly about the treatment that I received from the Yankees that, although I was in New York at the end of the season, I didn't feel like sticking around to even watch the club play in any of the World's Series games."
"I do not feel the Yankees were justified in sending me to the minor leagues. When I was shipped to Kansas City, I was doing as good a job as any Yankee outfielder and better than some of them. I was hitting .296, which was ten points better than Hank Bauer and 30 points better than Joe DiMaggio, Gene Woodling and Mickey Mantle. Yet Casey Stengel didn't give me the chance I felt I deserved."
Despite blasting his manager in the press, Jensen was still the property of the Yankees. That off-season, teams were circling, hoping to pry away the talented but disgruntled outfielder. There were newspaper reports of offers from the St. Louis Browns, the Detroit Tigers, the Philadelphia Athletics, the Washington Senators, the Cleveland Indians, and the Boston Red Sox -- with one rumor being Ted Williams to the Bronx in exchange for Jensen and several other players. (A Red Sox scout called the rumored deal "a lot of hogwash.")
Sportswriters spent the off-season speculating whether DiMaggio would retire, and if he did, whether Jensen or Mantle would take over as the center fielder, as there were still concerns that Mantle, who had hurt his knee in the 1951 World Series, wouldn't be fully recovered by the start of the season.
On Opening Day, April 16, 1952, it was Jackie Jensen in center and Mickey Mantle in right. Jensen went 0-for-5 with a GIDP; Mantle, 3-for-4 with a double, a walk, and a stolen base! Seven games into the season, Jensen was 2-for-17 (.118) and found himself on the bench. He'd never play for the Yankees again. On May 3, the Golden Boy was traded to the Washington Senators along with Spec Shea, Jerry Snyder, and Archie Wilson in exchange for Irv Noren and Tom Upton.
In two years with the Senators, Jensen hit an impressive .276/.359/.407 (112 OPS+), but the team was terrible, and Jensen wasn't happy. Still just 26 years old, he later said he had almost quit after the 1953 season... particularly after a harrowing flight to Japan for a series of exhibition games with a squad of All-Stars that included Yankees Yogi Berra, Eddie Lopat, and Billy Martin. That experience gave Jensen a lifelong fear of flying, a phobia that became so intense eventually he could only fly with the help of sleeping pills... and a hypnotist!
He might have quit if not for the trade on December 9, 1953, that sent him to the Boston Red Sox for pitcher Mickey McDermott and outfielder Tom Umphlett. He was homesick, he hated flying, and he now had two little kids at home. Red Sox general manager Joe Cronin convinced Jensen to come to the Red Sox, telling him that Fenway Park was tailor made for his swing. Cronin was right: Jensen was a career .279/.369/.460 hitter, but .298/.400/.514 at Fenway.
It was in Boston that Jensen finally lived up to the hype, becoming a two-time All-Star and winning the A.L. MVP Award in 1958 and a Gold Glove in 1959. During his seven seasons in Boston, he hit .282/.374/.478 in 4,519 plate appearances. In his MVP season, Jensen hit .286/.396/.535 (148 OPS+) with 31 doubles, 35 home runs, and a league-leading 122 RBIs. During his peak with the Red Sox, 1954 to 1959, Jensen's
average season was .285/.378/.490 (127 OPS+) with 28 doubles, 26 home runs, 111 RBIs, 14 stolen bases, and 3.6 bWAR. During those six seasons, no one in the American League -- not Mickey Mantle, not Ted Williams, not Al Kaline -- had more runs batted in than Jackie Jensen.
Of course, Mantle was the far better player -- even in Jensen's MVP season, Mantle had more runs, hits, home runs, walks, and a 188 OPS+ -- but Jensen's 127 OPS+ between 1954 and 1959 would have been an upgrade over the aging Hank Bauer's 110 OPS+ in right or the left field merry-go-round of Norm Siebern (113 OPS+), Irv Noren (107 OPS+), Enos Slaughter (103 OPS+), and previously forgotten Yankee
Hector Lopez (101 OPS+). Casey Stengel would later say the Jensen trade was the worst one the Yankees had made while he was manager.
Despite his success, Jensen was sometimes booed by the Boston fans, just as they sometimes booed Ted Williams. There even was an article in
Sport magazine, "What Do They Want From Jackie Jensen?", taking Red Sox fans to task for their unreasonably high demands from the Golden Boy. In 1956, in a game at Fenway Park against the Yankees, the hometown fans were razzing Jensen so much that teammates had to restrain him from going into the stands after a fan. Later that same game, Williams misplayed a wind-blown fly ball from Mantle, and the fans booed lustily. The very next play, Williams made a leaping catch at the scoreboard to rob Yogi Berra of a double. But Williams, still furious, spit into the crowd. He was later fined $5,000.
And Jackie was unhappy to be away from home. He and Zoe Ann had bought a house near Lake Tahoe, where they could both ski and golf year-round, as well as hit the casinos. They also had a home in Oakland, and a restaurant there, and each year Jensen hosted a pro-am golf tournament. But the marriage was struggling. Zoe Ann, once nationally known for her Olympic exploits, was frustrated to be a stay-at-home mom in the shadow of her famous husband, and Jackie became angry if she engaged in her favorite outdoor hobbies, suspecting there were men around.
Jensen's fear of flying also had become even more intense. Sometimes he was so drugged up that he had to be carried on and off the plane, fueling rumors that he was a drunk. Other times he took trains or even drove while his teammates flew.
Once again Jensen was talking about retirement, and in Spring Training 1957, the Red Sox allowed him to train with the San Francisco Seals, Boston's Triple-A team, rather than having to go to Florida. But he was still miserable. That year, he told
Sports Illustrated:
“In baseball you get to the point where you don’t think you have a family. It just looks like I’m not built for this life like some ballplayers. You are always away from home and you’re lonesome, and as soon as I can, I intend to get out.”
The 32-year-old Jensen announced his retirement after the 1959 season, and he spent 1960 home with Zoe Ann and their children and running his restaurant. But he returned in 1961. After hitting just .130 in April, Jensen took a train from Detroit home to Reno, determined to quit once again. After a week away, he rejoined the team and had six hits in his next 10 at-bats. By the end of the season he was at .263/.350/.392, and he quit again. This time for good.
After leaving baseball, Jensen invested in real estate and a golf course, but lost most of his money. He then got a job working for a Lake Tahoe casino, was a national spokesman for Camel cigarettes, Wonder Bread, and Gillette, and even tried selling cars. Ironically, Jackie found himself on the road almost as much as he had been as a ballplayer. In 1963, he and Zoe Ann divorced, remarried, and then divorced again.
In 1967, Jensen became a TV sportscaster, married his producer Katharine Cortesi, and eventually teamed up with Keith Jackson calling college football games for ABC, and was a college baseball coach, first at the University of Nevada-Reno and then at the University of California. He managed the Red Sox team in the New York Penn League in 1970. In 1977, Jackie and Katharine moved to Virginia and started a Christmas tree farm while he coached baseball at a military academy. About five years later, on July 14, 1982, he died of a heart attack at age 55.
You Don't Know Jack(ie):
- How good would Jackie Jensen have been as a Yankee? Maybe not great. He was a career .279/.369/.460 hitter, but just .238/.326/.398 at Yankee Stadium, which -- especially in that era -- was famously death on right-handed batters. Fenway Park was much more to his liking!
- Born in San Francisco in 1927, it's no surprise Jensen's favorite player as a kid was Joe DiMaggio, who made his debut with the San Francisco Seals when Jensen was a 5 years old. When Jensen made his major league debut, on April 18, 1950, DiMaggio went 3-for-6 with a triple in a 15-10 win over the Red Sox. Two weeks later, on May 3, Jensen made his first start, playing left field and batting second, and DiMaggio was in center and batting fourth.
- Jensen wore #36 at Cal. When he came up with the Yankees, he was first issued #40, then switched to #27, and finally to #25. (With the Senators, he wore #8, then #4; in Boston, he first wore #30 but primarily wore #4.) Currently, #40 is worn by Luis Severino. Other famous 40's include Chien-Ming Wang (2005-2009), Andy Hawkins (1989-1991), and Lindy McDaniel (1968-1973). #27 has been worn by Giancarlo Stanton since 2018; prior to him, it was worn by Austin Romine (2016-2017). It also was the number worn by Bob Wickman (1993-1996), Butch Wynegar (1982-1986), and Woodie Held (1954-1957). Gleyber Torres has worn #25 since 2018; it also was worn by Mark Teixeira (2009-2016), Jason Giambi (2002-2008), Joe Girardi (1996-1999), Jim Abbott (1993-1994), Tommy John (1979-1989), and Joe Pepitone (1962-1969).
- Jensen is one of six major leaguers to graduate from Oakland High School, but the only Yankee. Cal has sent 83 players to the majors, including twenty Yankees -- most notably, early 1990s pitcher Chuck Cary, 1930s infielder Lyn Lary, and 1990 A.L. ROY runner-up Kevin Maas.
- The Yankees during spring training in 1951 tinkered with the idea of using Jensen into a pitcher. Jensen had been a star pitcher at Cal, including pitching in the 1947 College World Series, and had pitched in a winter league that off-season. But he was bombed in a handful of spring training innings -- while crushing as a hitter -- and the Yankees decided to leave him in the outfield.
- College teammates said Jensen wasn't afraid of flying at Cal. His second wife Katharine said the phobia came from a near-miss experience on a flight early in his baseball career -- he looked out the window and saw another plane coming straight at him! The two planes managed to avoid each other, but he was never comfortable on a plane again.
- Billy Martin, who also had grown up in Northern California and was Jensen's teammate on both the Oakland Oaks and the Yankees, was merciless when it came to teasing Jensen about his fear of flying. In 1953, on a flight from Okinawa to Honshu to play a series of exhibition games in Japan, the plane ran into a bad storm and was bouncing pretty hard. Jensen, who wouldn't get on a plane without the help of tranquilizers, was blissfully sleeping through the turbulence. Martin found a lifejacket and put it on, then stood over Jensen and shouted "We're going down!"
- Arthur Ellen, a hypnotist that Jensen had used to try to cure his fear of flying, believed Jackie wasn't aerophobic at all. It was really a fear of losing his family. "Subconsciously, it developed as a good reason to leave the Red Sox and go home," the hypnotist said.
- Jensen is featured prominently in Norman Rockwell's famous 1957 painting, The Rookie. Jensen is the one seated on the bench tying his shoe in the middle of the painting. Standing behind him is Ted Williams, and sitting on the bench next to him is pitcher Frank Sullivan (#18). Wearing the catcher's mitt in the foreground is Sammy White, and the player with his hand over his mouth to the far right is Billy Goodman. Jensen, Sullivan, and White had gone to Rockwell's studio in Massachusetts to pose for the painting; the images of Williams and Goodman were based on photos. The shirtless player was one of Rockwell's assistants, and "the rookie" holding the suitcase was a local high school student!
- Boston sportswriters named Jensen the team's MVP in 1954, when he hit .276/.359/.472 with 25 home runs and 117 RBIs. I guess they were tired of giving the award to Ted Williams, who hit .345/.513/.635 that year, albeit in just 117 games as he had broken his collarbone in spring training. Williams didn't qualify for the batting title that year because he had only 386 at-bats... mostly due to his league-leading 136 walks. The rule was subsequently changed from at-bats to plate appearances.
- After Jensen was acquired by the Washington Senators, manager Bucky Harris -- who managed the Yankees when they won the 1947 World Series -- pulled him aside and told him he was the right fielder and he'd hit third. "No pep talk, no nothing, but he made it sound like I was the right fielder and third place hitter for a long time to come," Jensen later recalled. "It made me feel good." The 1950s Senators had a number of ex-Yankees and several of them told reporters that Harris was a much more low-key, hands-off manager than Casey Stengel, and Jensen agreed. "With Stengel it was always 'watch for that curve ball' or 'watch for that change up'," Jensen said. "Bucky leaves you on your own up there." But Jensen would later say Stengel was the smartest manager he'd ever had.
- Stengel obliquely mentioned Jensen in his famously long, rambling testimony before the Senate Anti-Trust and Monopoly Subcommittee on July 8, 1958. Asked about legislation that would exempt baseball from federal anti-trust laws, Stengel said about 7,000 words without really saying anything. The hearing was held the day after the All-Star Game -- the Stengel-managed A.L. All-Stars won, 4-3 -- and in the American League starting lineup were Jensen and two other ex-Yankees, Bob Cerv and Gus Triandos. Stengel was asked if the Yankees were going to continue to "monopolize" the World Series, and his confusing answer: "Well, I will tell you. I got a little concerned yesterday in the first three innings when I saw the three players I had gotten rid of [Jensen, Cerv, and Triandos] and I said when I lost nine what am I going to do? And when I had a couple of my players I thought so great of that did not do so good up to the sixth inning I was more confused but I finally had to go and call on a young man in Baltimore that we don't own and the Yankees don't own him and he is doing pretty well and I would actually have to to tell you that we are more the Greta Garbo-type now from success. We are being hated. I mean from the ownership and all we are being hated. Every sport that gets too great or one individual -- but if we made twenty-seven cents and it pays to have a winner at home why would you have a good winner in your park if you were an owner? That is the result of baseball. An owner gets most of the money at home, and it is up to him and his staff to do better or they ought to be discharged." After befuddling the committee with answers like that for 45 minutes, Stengel was excused and Mickey Mantle called upon. His opening statement: "My views are just about the same as Casey's."
- Casey Stengel later said Jensen plus Spec Shea, Jerry Snyder, and Archie Wilson to the Senators for Irv Noren and Tom Upton was the worst trade the Yankees made during his tenure. But in reality it was pretty much a wash for the Yankees. Jensen, in two seasons, would be worth 4.9 bWAR for the Senators before being traded. Shea, a right-handed pitcher who had been an All-Star with the Yankees as a rookie, pitched four years in Washington and was worth 2.9 bWAR. Snyder was a good-glove, no-hit infielder worth -0.1 bWAR in seven seasons with the Senators. (You must have a really good glove to last seven seasons with a 55 OPS+!) Wilson, at one point seen as a good prospect but now a 28-year-old minor league journeyman, only played 26 games in Washington before being traded. In exchange, the Yankees received the 27-year-old Irv Noren, an outfieldefirst baseman who played five years in New York and was an All-Star in 1954; he was worth 7.9 bWAR, making the trade essentially even by bWAR. (The other player the Yankees received, minor league infielder Tom Upton, never made it back to the bigs.) Prior to the 1957 season, Noren was traded to the Kansas City Athletics as part of a monster 13-player trade that included Clete Boyer, third baseman of the early 1960s dynasty!
- The two players Washington got from Boston for Jensen, Mickey McDermott and Tom Umphlett, were both future Yankees. McDermott was a left-handed pitcher whose father, Maurice McDermott, had played in the minors with Lou Gehrig. Mickey was just 25 years old at the time of the trade but had been in the majors for six seasons, going 48-34 with a 3.80 ERA (114 ERA+). In two years with the Senators, McDermott went 17-25 (but with a 3.58 ERA), then prior to the 1957 season was traded to the Yankees as part of a seven-player deal; he went 2-6 with a 4.24 ERA as a swingman, and closed out the Game 2 win in the 1956 World Series. After that one season in New York, he was part of the trade with the A's that brought back Clete Boyer.
- Umphlett, a 22-year-old infielder, was traded back to the Red Sox in 1955, and then the Red Sox traded him to the Yankees in 1962 for infielder Billy Gardner. He would spend 1962 and 1963 in Triple-A for the Yankees, then ended his career in the minors with the Minnesota Twins -- the team that had been the Senators until 1961.
- In 1956, the anthology television show Cavalcade of America had an episode called The Jackie Jensen Story. Jackie had a cameo as the adult version of himself, but the 30-minute episode was focused on Jackie's teenage years and the influence of his middle high school coach, a man named Ralph Kerchum who became a father figure. The coach was played by Ross Elliott, a Bronx native whose most memorable role might have been as the director in the Vitameatavegamin episode of I Love Lucy.
- Jensen's MVP in 1958 broke a string of four straight MVP awards for Yankees -- Yogi Berra in 1954 and 1955 followed by Mickey Mantle in 1956 and 1957. Nellie Fox of the White Sox won it in 1959, and then the Yankees won it four years in a row again -- Roger Maris in 1960 and 1961, Mantle in 1962, and Elston Howard in 1963. Then a long drought -- the next Yankee to win it would be Thurman Munson in 1976.
- Going by bWAR, Mantle should have won it a third straight year in 1958 -- his 8.7 bWAR led the league, followed by Frank Lary at 6.7 and Al Kaline at 6.5. Jensen's 4.9 was 10th that year. Of course, they didn't have bWAR back then!
- Jackie won a Gold Glove in 1959; it was just the third year of the award's existence, or he might have won more. "Right field in Boston is a bitch, the sun field, and few play it well," Ted Williams said. "Jackie Jensen was the best I saw at it." Jensen was renowned for his throwing arm -- he twice led the league in assists, and twice led the league in double plays as an outfielder. One Yankee scout said he had the best arm he'd seen since previously forgotten Yankee Bob Meusel, usually said to have the best cannon in baseball history until Roberto Clemente came along.
- Jensen was well known for his brashness, especially compared to Mantle's aw shucks attitude. Mantle, asked if he thought he could beat out Jensen to replace DiMaggio in center field, humbly replied that there were three positions in the outfield and he hoped to win any one of them. Jensen, on the other hand, vowed he'd "out-run, out-hit, and out-throw" Mantle, an arrogant answer that didn't go over well with teammates. Joe DiMaggio, asked what he thought of the duel for his old job, quipped that Mantle was "out-quoting" Jensen.
- When Mantle was asked what he thought about Jensen's quote, he replied: "I don't know what to make of that guy." Jensen would later say he was misquoted, but reports of his cockiness would follow him throughout his Yankee years. Later in life, Jensen said people mistook his shyness and anxiety for arrogance and rudeness.
- According to Sports Illustrated, Jensen is the only player to have played in the East-West football game, the Rose Bowl, the World Series, and the Major League All-Star Game. I'll take their word for it!
- As a freshman at Cal, the first time Jensen touched the ball -- on a punt return -- he ran it back for a 56-yard touchdown. Cal quarterback Charles Erb said they'd never seen anything like it. "He was all over the field, dodging and leaping over guys. The rest of us just stood there on the sidelines with our mouths open. Finally somebody said, 'Who in the hell is that guy?' "
- Jensen is one of two "forgotten" Yankees in the College Football Hall of Fame -- the other is 1960s catcher Jake Gibbs. (Other Yankees in the College Football Hall of Fame include John Elway, who was in the Yankee minor league system before joining the Denver Broncos, and Deion Sanders, who was on the Yankees in 1989 and 1990.) Jensen also is a member of the Cal Hall of Fame, the Bay Area Sports Hall of Fame, and... ugh... the Boston Red Sox Hall of Fame.
- Despite his speed -- Jensen led the league in triples in 1956 and in stolen bases in 1954, and was in the top five in stolen bases in six seasons -- Jackie also was prone to grounding into double plays, leading the league in 1954, 1956, and 1957. His 32 GIDPs in 1954 was the major league record until Boston's Jim Rice hit into 36 in 1984, which is still the single-season record. Rice also had 35 in 1985. Jensen's 32 is tied for third with four others. The most by a Yankee? Dave Winfield with 30 in 1983, which is tied for 14th.
- Jensen lost most of his baseball earnings through a series of bad investments. His ex-wife, former Olympian Zoe Ann, later became a blackjack dealer in Reno to pay the bills.
- Jensen had four appearances on the popular show Home Run Derby, and set a record for most home runs in one match when he defeated Ernie Banks, 14-11, in Episode 24. The 25 combined home runs also was a record. He took on Mickey Mantle in Episode 3, with Mantle winning, 9-2, then defeated Rocky Colavito, 3-2, in Episode 25. He rematched against Mantle in Episode 26, with Mantle winning again, 13-10. Jensen set another record in that contest when he became the only player to hit four home runs in a row, and then a fifth home run in a row. That episode was supposed to be the season one finale, but it turned out to be the last episode of the series: The show's host and producer, Mark Scott, died of a heart attack at age 45, shortly after the last episode aired, and two months later the show's 64-year-old director Benjamin Stoloff also died. Rather than replacing them, the show was cancelled.
- Jensen's last game came against the Yankees, on October 1st, 1961, at Yankee Stadium. He appeared as a pinch hitter and popped out to shortstop Tony Kubek. In the 4th inning of that game, Roger Maris hit his 61st home run, breaking Babe Ruth's single-season record!
- Jackie and Zoe Ann had two sons, Jon and Jay, and a daughter, Jan. Jay's son, Tucker Jensen, was a pitcher in the Blue Jays farm system in 2011 and 2012.
In 1958, Jensen told
Sports Illustrated that the biggest thrill of his career wasn't being an All-American or an All-Star, it wasn't winning an MVP or a World Series. "The biggest is having played in the same outfield with both DiMaggio and Williams."
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2023.06.01 13:46 Little-Raspberry7544 I can’t control my symptoms
I (21 F) live in uk, I’m about to go into the final year of my degree, I am a care leaver with no place to live other than my uni accom, once I finish uni I’ll have no place to live and no more student finance, for the last few years I’ve been unable to function as a normal person most days of the week even though I want to and have frequently been receiving intensive treatment for my bipolar & depression, I seem to be rapid cycling as I basically never experience euthymic mood, I barely have been able to complete uni work having to get lots of adjustments & not regularly attending, I also have awful sleep hygiene even with meds, for these reasons I highly doubt I’ll be able to hold a job & afford to rent anywhere to live, I can’t even complete day to day activities majority of the time, I struggle with constant suicidal ideation & at times am a danger to myself, all this makes me want to kms after I graduate before I’m due to move out of uni accom, meds seem to make me worse & therapies don’t work, I am very hopeless & see so no realistic future for me other than shitty housing & leeching off of council handouts, I grew up in poverty before going into foster care, I don’t have the naivety/hope or motivation anymore to get thru poverty again, plus having a better life while in uni in terms of money & living situation will be hard to downgrade from
please does anyone have advice in terms of bipoladepression friendly workplaces in south east/ london/ birmingham or work from home jobs, ideally applying my biology/ health/life sciences degree - I’d likely need plenty of reasonable adjustments, or advice on support I could get regarding income & housing or even any advice on how to get thru depression that won’t go away
I don’t mean to sound superficial or whingey I just have really poor mental health that really impairs me & my mind constantly tells me I’m better off dead, the only reason I’m alive is because I’m terrified of suicide sending me to hell even though I’m not particularly religious, last time I had serious plans the stress of eternal damnation triggered a psychotic break, my psychiatrist was discussing ECT for my suicidal depression but I don’t know if I want to take that gamble, I fear I’m too far down the depression pipeline to recover & manage bipolar effectively, I don’t want kids & doubt I’ll ever make a long term partner, I’m willing to not have a future to avoid suffering & I think those around me would get over the loss understanding that life is too painful for me
sorry if I sound entitled
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Little-Raspberry7544 to
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