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Golden Age Comics
2014.01.19 00:59 piperson Golden Age Comics
The sub-Reddit for all things Golden age Comics from Action Comics #1 To EC Comics of the 50's.
2023.03.29 10:47 throwaway6363637q8 My (24m) girlfriend (22f) of five years just dumped me, saying that she was no longer attracted to me, and I'm at a loss for how to handle my emotions.
Using a throwaway because this gets real personal and I don't want anything linking back to me or my ex.
So, as the title says, I just got dumped. We were celebrating her birthday with a nice dinner at her house. I enjoy cooking for her, so I made a nice chicken pasta that she requested which I had made for her previously. She had some work to do foe Uni, so we didn't talk much beforehand, but when we sat down to eat, she said she had something to tell me.
For context, we haven't been intimate in around six months. I have a fairly high libido, and every time I would try to initiate, she would say she wasn't in the mood. Honestly, this was never that big of a deal for me, although it did kind of suck. She told me a change in her meds had affected her sex drive, and I understood and never pressured her to do anything sexual. The only time it really bothered me was during a rough patch for me mentally where I felt like she didn't find me attractive anymore. She assured me that she did and that was the end of it.
It was not the end of it. She laid everything out for me:
- She loves and and still cares deeply about me.
- She isn't attracted to me and hasn't been for a while.
- She's interested in another guy.
- She no longer considers us exclusive.
I was shocked. I always thought we had a good relationship, and for the first several years of it, we were very sexually active. I didn't know how to process it at all. So I told her I was going to sit in my car for a bit, and after a while I came back in to grab my stuff to leave. I didn't really want to interact with her anymore, so I just briefly said bye to her and her cats and left.
Later, when I wasn't texting her back because I'd just been dumped and then drove for 45 minutes to get home, she said something along the lines of "glad to know how much of our affection was based on sex".
It's been a few days since all that and I just... I don't know how to process any of this. I've never been super happy with my appearance, and this has dug up a lot of feelings I thought I had moved past related to that. I'm obviously sad that the woman I loved dropped me, but I'm also just so frustrated and angry about how it all happened. And the insinuation that the only reason I gave a shit about our life together was to try and bed her, despite being entirely OK with a dead bedroom for a while due to things she was just blatantly lying to me about.
I haven't gotten any more details from my I guess now ex. Obviously, there's no reconciling here. I can't talk someone into thinking I'm attractive. But I want to just get some closure from all this so I can sit down and figure out how I can manage my feelings. We're still on speaking terms now, if it matters.
Any suggestions for how to try and navigate this minefield? It feels like this is going to eat me alive if I don't do something to mitigate this gnawing in my chest.
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2023.03.29 09:09 kerry_lusignan Being Alone in Your Marriage Is Not The Same as Being Alone
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I’ve heard it repeatedly — friends, clients, and family members telling me that their marriage was lonely and sexless. That they were alone for so many years while partnered that they don’t need (nor want) to devote a window of time post-breakup or divorce to flying solo. This seems to infer that being alone in their marriage affords them a pass from being alone single and allows them to bypass devoting a concerted window of time post-breakup to being on their own.
And every time I hear this, it never feels felt quite right. It gets stuck in my craw and wears at me like a piece of gravel in my sneaker. My mind grapples with the meaning of these statements. With what it says about how we as a society view living solo. With how we perceive singlehood and people who choose not to partner. I bristle because implicit in these comments are values, biases, and fears. It’s fraught with stereotypes and myths, and most importantly, it misses the mark — that being alone in your marriage is not the same as being alone and single and that this is an important distinction to make. It reminds me of people who say they were single parenting while their partner was away for a weekend, that parenting without their partner home was a piece of cake. It’s misguided and inaccurate.
Being alone in your marriage can be profoundly painful, much worse in my experience than being single. Nothing quite compares to the dull and constant ache of having your partner, someone perfectly capable of giving hugs and helping with laundry, sitting lifeless in the next room, coming home clueless from work, walking past you like a ghost. The presence of a loved one in our proximity who does not respond to our aches, needs, and desires amplifies existential realities we often turn to others to alleviate. Realities like we are born into this world alone, and similarly, we will go out alone — that the birth canal and the delirium of dying are individual endeavors, no matter who will hold our hand, nurse us or greet us in the spirit world.
I can still remember a day when my then-partner was sitting on the couch, not even ten feet away from me. I was cooking and accidentally burned my arm by spilling chicken broth. I remember how I cried out and recoiled from the hot liquid that seared my skin, how I heard the continuous clicking on his laptop keyboard while he stared blankly at the screen and did not acknowledge my pain. It’s an extreme example, but you get the gist, we rely on others, our partners, to be there when we need them and when they are not there for us, we feel more acutely alone than we ever would if we were on our own.
But here’s the deal, if you leap from a lonely marriage into a new partnership with no break in between, you miss something that I believe is essential — the opportunity to have a relationship with your adult self and to fall in love with life on its terms. In my experience, the most enduring way to tackle loneliness is through cultivating a relationship with solitude. But sadly, when I go to the thesaurus to investigate solitude, I find words like emptiness, isolation, confinement, loneliness, and wasteland; therein lies my point. We live in a culture that conflates solitude with loneliness; we do not make a nuanced distinction between the two; we are crude people when it comes to words. Something as simple as defining solitude gives way to our cultural fears, biases, and very understandable human vulnerabilities. There is power in language. It can permeate our thoughts and weave a spell, have us stumbling blindly into the arms of another where we expect things will be different, and maybe they will be — for a while. But as any Gen Xer should remember, when Luke Skywalker pulled off the mask of Darth Vader in the Cave of Evil, Luke saw his own face, not Vader’s. Translation: Swapping out partners still brings you back to yourself.
The reality is, it is not eitheor. Relationships
teach us much when we let them, as does solitude. There is a sweet spot in between serial monogamy and desolation. It requires us to devote a balanced and ample window of time in both relationship and solitude. I’m speaking to the tendency of most American adults to favor the first camp and avoid the second — to treat singlehood as the ugly stepchild adopted only when external circumstances thrust it upon us. I’m offering encouragement that if you commit to spending a minimum of a year alone, the universe may reward you ten-fold. That you will feel as if you have a superpower. Like the unavoidable realities of life: Heartbreak, disappointment, difficult people, and loneliness are no match for your newly found courage, and that this is akin to flight — freedom of spirit. https://preview.redd.it/zd1buwk4omqa1.jpg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ae09e3824a3e610454ebd8ec44cbcdd6c791f576
I’m aware that what I’m advocating for is unpopular. I get the genuine human need for connectedness and touch. I am a couples therapist; my alliance is to love and commitment. I am also a fifty-two-year-old woman, and as such, I have lived many lives. I have felt the bliss of new love and the solid, steady reliability of a twelve-year marriage — the dependability of someone who will notice if I go into cardiac arrest one afternoon, who can pick up medicine if I am home sick with the flu. I have experienced being a single mother and sole provider, laid in my bed at night with my baby girl in my arms while ice pellets pummel my roof, the power out, no heat but the warmth of our bodies. I’m not the first to wonder if my beloved would poison me and certainly not the last to feel the sting of love gone wrong.
I’ve felt the terror of running headlong into heartbreak more than once, and sometimes I’ve lept, and sometimes I’ve cowered. Though, if I’m to be honest, it’s morphed into it’s a hybrid move, a cower-leap sort of thing.
There have been predictable moments of tenderness, sorrow, terror, joy, and emptiness in each lifetime I’ve lived. What I take away is knowing that cultivating a relationship with oneself is necessary if we wish to embark on the lofty ideals of modern-day love. That mutuality, domesticity, and intimacy — relationships functioning as “people growing machines” are possible. But that they demand of us something far more complex than the nuclear families of our parents — unions rooted in gendered roles and pragmatic resignation to the mundane and the terrible. I hold out hope for the former and shun the latter. I am a believer in modern love.
When my last long-term relationship ended in 2019, I committed myself to spend an entire year single. That year morphed into two-plus years with the onset of COVID19 and the challenges it brought to dating. During that time, I watched no less than six friends become separated, divorced, and re-partner. I’m truly happy for them and genuinely wish them the best. Still, I’m acutely aware that I bring my own biases, and sometimes I feel that I’m in a bind. * * \
I’m in the business of selling health. As a couples therapist,
I err towards preventative medicine versus managing symptoms. I’m more like the doctor promoting eating well and exercise than the physician who hands you a bottle of pills to manage Type 2 diabetes. Sometimes, I feel like people no more want to hear a couples therapist touting the merits of solitude than they want to see a dentist and get a root canal. And it’s OK to re-partner right after a breakup or have a series of flings (I’ve been there), but please don’t claim you get the Fastpass because you were alone in your marriage, don’t trick yourself like that. Say it feels good, say you are afraid, horny, or lonely, say anything (but that) because they are different types of aloneness and can’t be swapped out.
And if you are looking for guidance about what to do if your relationship ends or wondering how to heal best and not repeat the same mistakes — to be fully present for your children as you navigate divorce. Not surprisingly, my recommendation is to stay single for a good long chunk of time. Hang out with every facet of you, with the full catastrophe of living. If you are heterosexual, partake in gender-bending roles that your partner once did. Spend a holiday alone. Have sex for one. Laugh and cry and laugh again. I promise it won’t kill you. And in time, you’ll come to trust that if you shout holy hell at the heavens, a voice will answer (call it the universe or call it yourself), and you’ll understand that you never have to be alone again — in a partnership or singlehood. That the soul-sucking aloneness that nearly killed you has a foe and that your superpowers are there for you — they were all along. * * \
Are you on the fence about whether to stay or leave your marriage? Do you feel you have tried everything but still feel trapped in relationship-limbo-hell? Join me for my free webinar, Is My Marriage Worth Saving?
I will be offering it on three different dates in October and will be available to answer all of your questions, including options for working with me. Talk With An Expert.
2023.03.29 07:24 Capable-Talk-8064 I ruined my friendships and fell into a pit of loneliness.
[TW: Suicidal though/attempts]
I want to be as clear as possible on the events that happened, and maintain a cohesion so that it is easy to understand.
I am a 23M. I am an international student in North America. I came here to pursue my bachelors degree 5 years ago. Due to several mental health issues, home sickness, and loneliness, my academic performance faltered the first two years putting me on probation. Due to COVID-19, this probationary period was extended. However, during this time my mental health worsened, and I tanked all my exams. I advocated for myself and was able to retain my admission in Fall. I attempted suicide several times when I was advocating for my extenuating circumstances. During this time, a friend of mine, who was also my roommate, was extremely supportive. He used to invite people home and helped me feel a sense of community. He used to push me towards taking action and suggest me different ways I can stay and complete an education. We spoke the same language so we used to watch movies almost everyday through summer. I also had an extremely close friend who spoke the same language and we used to hangout a lot. We three became a good trio of boys and used to hangout a lot till last year.
One thing is that my roommate was from a smaller town and I was from a big city in my country. He had many regressive ideas and his behaviour was kind of incel-ly. He dated several girls and it did not go well. He used to pester them to give him answers when they tried to let him down easily. I was working on explaining him patiently that this is not acceptable, and he just needs to accept rejection sometimes. I was exposed to American ideas and had a great understanding of some social behaviours. I was also very left-wing and feminist. We used to have a lot of disagreements, but we always dealt with them through dialogue and were civil.
Everything was going great, my grades improved, my self-esteem improved, my friend circle became bigger and were filled with genuine people. But then my roommate met a few girls who spoke the same language as us. He wanted to form a group to hangout with and feel home. These girls were brought up in North America. One of them was a radical feminist and had a very black and white view on morality. She told us a problem about her relationship and I had someone in my childhood who committed suicide because of the same reason, so I instantly felt sympathetic towards her. I was very supportive of her and treated her like a sister. She set up my roommate with a girl and he continued his creepy behaviour (facepalm). Instead of calmly sitting down and explaining him his behaviour is wrong, she explained radical feminism to him and antagonized him for everyone in the group.
This is where I started fucking up. I have this pathological need to please people, especially left-wingers. I am extremely afraid of being cancelled and had a low self-esteem. So I was open to being brainwashed and become emotionally charged. I am still very liberal, but now my beliefs are more of internal values rather than fear of persecution. And because of that need to be validated, I also became very resentful towards my roommate and slowly moved away from him. I did not support him, and in fact threw him under the bus for a few brownie points.
Another thing happening was, the radical feminist was deeply obsessed with my close friend. And because of my sympathy towards her, I used to help her interact with him more. The problem was, my friend was in his last month of college, and nothing is going to come out of this. I purely did that so she can giggle in the presence of her crush. I warned her multiple times to let go of him and don't confess because it doesn't hurt anyone. But she confessed and they agreed to have a fling, which my friend was very hesitant about. After my friend left, she used to pester him for attention despite deciding that they wanted to keep it brief. She wanted boyfriend treatment at the cost of a friend. And when he was going through a big change in life she basically blew up on him and blocked him. My friend was extremely patient throughout this process. And I, being the dumbo I am, was supportive to her. I had this saviour complex, and used to literally be her handkerchief. Everytime she used to be sad, which was almost everyday, I used to support her. She had many traumatic events in her life so I had a lot of sympathy for her.
The weirdest part was, after she blocked my friend, she started pestering me to make him talk with her. She was very emotionally manipulative, wanted to save her self-image, but still get him to talk to her. She antagonized him too saying he used her for sex (which she initiated, my friend was always happy with just spending quality time). In this process I almost lost this guy too because she kept pestering me to make him talk. In the middle of all this, she texted me twice saying she doesn't want to see me anymore because I remind her of my friend (wtf?!). The friendship has always been unstable, but I was too dumb to recognize that.
My last straw to all this was, she texted me out of the blue saying I was condescending towards her. All I used to do was tell her to be safe because of her experiences. It came completely out of care for her well-being. And she did that knowing I was going through extremely difficult period with 4 midterms that week. I was suicidal at this point and even attempted. At that point, I started recognizing that she disregarded everyone's situation. She used to have emotional outbursts and just behave like nothing happened the next day. It was exhausting dealing with always being on eggshells. And the most hurtful was when she said that she first sees me as a man and then as a friend. I understand the nuances of male-female friendships. I understand her fears. But not once in our entire friendship did I speak disrespectfully or her nor any other woman. I had a girl who did me dirty and I still talk positively about her because she was a great woman. Even after knowing this much about me, I am still seen as untrustworthy, am I really valued?
She stopped interacting with me regularly after I made my friend talk with her and they both decided it is best to keep distance. This is important because she still used to badmouth him with me, but I no longer enabled her. So she stopped talking to me. Even after telling her about my suicidal thoughts, not a single phone call from her side asking how I am doing? But she used to message me every time she needed to vent. She started dating a guy during the later part last year and never told me about him. She told me about him after almost two months of dating. Even then she did not tell the full story. I felt completely unvalued. She again started interacting after she broke up with him.
In all this, I had no friends left around me. All my friends are in different countries and I became alone. I became extremely sad and cynical. But after months of suppressing, I became honest with myself. I missed my roommate. He is a good guy. I realized I ruined a good friendship for some meaningless validation. I hate myself. I reached out to him and apologized and he simply said it's all good bro, we're cool. I mean he was so understanding I felt like crying. I know in the West people cut friendships if they ideologically differ. But one should understand that a person needs to first know why something is right or wrong. No one is born with innate morality and it is shaped by your brought up and environment. I am going to meet him soon, I will be honest with him and apologize for my mistakes. I am not sure if we will have the same bond, but I will try to earn his trust.
tl;dr: I antagonized some genuine guy friends to get approval from a girl friend of mine, who turned out to be very unstable and unreliable friend.
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2023.03.29 06:49 Mission-Egg794 The Day I Thought I Won The Lottery
I used to think success was driving down a beach-front highway having to choose between breathing in the new car smell from your convertible, or putting the top down for some salt air.
1 week ago, I had neither of those choices and today the very thought of beach air and new car smell makes me fucking sick.
Before I get into this, let me be clear: this is not a confession of guilt for anything I’ve done. I never wanted all this shit. From the very start it was only about one thing: Getting my son, James a birthday present.
I wasn’t even trying to get him the BEST or the BIGGEST or the most EXPENSIVE birthday present. Just
A present. The present I set out to get.
I went to the 7/11 on Santa Monica and bought a MegaMillions lotto ticket.
My name is Daniel Baxter, and this is the day I thought I won the lottery.
April 8, 2022 – 2:03AM
It’s 2 o’clock in the morning and I’m at the Hollywood Casino. I’ve got every penny to my name spread across the craps table and some dickhead on his bachelor party holds the dice of fate in his clammy little hands.
My last 3 meals have been from discarded room service trays at LAX Hilton, my truck doesn’t start without a prayer and the tires have been leaking air for the last month which is fine because now I know the location of every free air filling station in LA County.
If I’d paid my phone bill, it’d be buzzing a crater in my leg from my ex, Lenora, asking if I’d picked up our son’s birthday gift with the $200 she gave me.
“Gave me” isn’t quite the right term. She handed it to me with a scowl then told me “if you gamble this shit you’ll never fucking see him again.” Things had been tense lately.
But none of that matters because this guy’s been hot and it’s with his help that I’ve turned that 200 hundred into almost 3 grand. The only question is; are the rhythms with me or not?
Maybe you call it God. Maybe you call it Karma or the natural vibe of the earth or mercury or whatever. When the rhythms are on, everything goes your way. You crush your yearly review at work and get the raise you’re after or you’re at some party and you’ve got everyone eating outta the palm of your hand.
Most things are math. Craps is math. Poker is math. Phone bills are math. Divorce rates are math and if I keep having to eat off of room service trays, the likelihood of me waking up with diarrhea is math.
It’s all just probability. But when the rhythms are on, the probability doesn’t matter. You could take a 1 and a million shot back-to-back and hit it twice. That’s what the rhythm can do for you.
Summer of 2018 I was up over 2 million. I couldn’t lose a hand of blackjack, I couldn’t crap out if I tried, I couldn’t say the wrong thing to Lenora and every time I walked into the room my son, James, would light up like a fucking lantern.
It used to be me and Lenora at the tables. The place was always open, the food is fine and the drinks are free. If we weren’t at the tables we were in the lounge talking Black Jack strategy or in the bar talking game theory or hanging out at the slots like a couple’a mice pressing a button and waiting for the cheese to pop out.
Sometimes it’s nice to be a mouse. I’ve got rats in my house. They don’t pay rent or go food shopping. All they have to do is avoid eating a piece of death cheese or poison and honestly that’s not too far off from how I live anyways.
When we had James, things changed though. As Lenora put it “risking your son’s dinner isn’t chasing something it’s chasing nothing.” And I guess the 45-minute commute to the Hollywood wasn’t a valuable use of her time. Lots of people commute to work even longer. When I was working at Goldman, I commuted an hour and a half each way from Connecticut. Granted I was on a train but the point is we all commute to work.
It was nice having her here. It was nice seeing James with a smile. It was nice to check my bank account and feel a life raft around me, rather than a black hole forming in my bellybutton.
But the rhythms shifted.
Now it’s just me here next to Lenny with the beard, Jackie with the cigar and Jonie who’s been serving drinks here so long her face should be on the highway billboards. After Lenora broke it off with me she got together with Kelton who works for a hedge fund which (for the record) is still gambling. He’s just doing it with other people’s money.
James’ 9th birthday is three days away. He wants an iPad and soon as I cash out, I’ll be able to pick one up, maybe kick some back to Lenora and spread some cash around to the litany of people I’m on the hook to.
I’m one big night away from wiping it all out. I just need one hit. One night of pure rhythm... and I’ll be back.
The shooter shakes the dice in his hand then tosses ‘em. I watch them clack on the table walls below me, but before they even settle on the pass line, I can already feel the star implode in my stomach.
In a flash, my hard work is raked away by some new guy named Carl with a moustache and not a single ounce of sympathy.
The party’s at Lenora (and Kelton’s) which was fine because honestly, I didn’t just have rats.
The rats came in chasing the cockroaches but when a bunch of them got into my Cadbury Mini Egg stash and died under the living room floor, a pack of fleas picked the carcass clean before making their way into the carpet above. So, yeah...at the moment I have fleas, cockroaches and rats. I had a bug bomb guy coming in a couple days but things were gonna be a little itchy until then.
It's three days until the party. I’ve got no gift and if I show up without that 200 bucks I may never see my kid again.
April 8, 2022 – 6:32AM
There’s only so much you can do on a security guard’s salary and being paid $12 an hour to guard millions of dollars in Mercedes automobiles is hilarious. What am I supposed to do if some guy comes in to steal a car? Lay my life on the line and hope my out-of-pocket HMO covers bullet wounds?
I don’t even have dental. I got a root canal that needed to be recapped 10 minutes after it was put in.
I’ve been on Mr. Jenkins about a raise but he keeps telling me “we gotta sell more cars, Davey,” as if I’m the one selling cars. I’m a fucking security guard what the hell’s that gotta do with me? Last I checked it was my job to keep cars on the lot and getting them off was yours.
Jenkins owns every car dealer on Van Nuys. Maybe you’ve seen his ads on TV where he slides into frame wearing a suit while riding a surfboard just to say “COME ON DOWN!” He can afford to buy a surfboard for tv ad that has no mention of surfing or aquatic sports of any kind but he can’t pay me an extra $3 an hour so I can re-introduce cold foods to my diet.
I spend most of my shift eyeing the mint green on onyx black SLS convertible they keep in the lobby. It’s flashy but it’s got a nut sack under the hood so you know you could back it up if you went toe-to-toe with some clown at a red light. Sometimes I just stare at it but I never touch it. I only wanna touch it when it’s mine. Which it would be...
Maybe I could steal it and sell it to get the iPad and some other shit. I know all the codes but then again I wouldn’t need the whole car. The thing costs half a mill. Maybe I could lift a rear-view mirror. Who would notice? Then again with the way the rhythm’s set I’d probably bump into the fucking FBI on the way out.
I’ve been doing my best to get things together but the cards aren’t falling my way and there’s not much you can really do about that. I’ve been going to the Hollywood for 15 years so I know I’m due for a run.
Me and Lenny talking about this all the time at the lounge. Sometimes you’re on the downbeat and sometimes you’re on the upbeat. Lately I feel like it’s been all downs but the thing about being a father though, is that you’re not the only one on that ride.
It used to be that I could take a few down weeks or months even. Sleep in the car, call the landlord and talk them out of breaking down the door but when you got a kid everything changes. You suffer, he suffers. Lately Lenora’s been paying for that but you see she keeps a tally. She says she doesn’t but she does.
Every time she has to pay for something she looks at me like I’m the biggest piece of shit then says “It’s ok, David.” Which it really isn’t.
The fees and stuff aren’t the real problem. It’s being able to take James out and take care of him. She wants to take that away from me and honestly I don’t blame her.
Last week my card got declined trying to pay for ice cream. James had already eaten half of his and the lady made us give it back. He didn’t talk to me the whole way home then 2 days later Lenora told me James didn’t really like spending time with me anymore. A week after that she filed for sole custody and told me they were thinking about moving to Chicago. Who the fuck would want to live there? It’s cold as fuck and the people are assholes.
April 8, 2022 – 12:20PM
I do pickups for a porta-john company on the side. It’s just temporary. I don’t clean the shit I just spray down the units and suck out cans and shit with a wet-vac before this guy named Pete sticks a hose in the back and drains the whole thing out.
I’m always surprised by what people put on the walls of a john. Usually it’s just drawings like hearts and shit but sometimes the rhythm finds you there too. One time I spotted a phone number Sharpied on a toilet seat but it was missing 1 number. 8 digits. Kinda like 4 roulette numbers right?
I took em to the Hollywood and won 5 grand on one roll! Hasn’t worked again for me yet... but that’s the thing about it man.
But today I’m cleaning out a row of johns after some music festival which by the way is far and away the worst clean ups to get. Sure you see these kids all cleaned up online in some tweed outfit or some shit but you should see the shit that comes out of these kids. It’s like paving tar with glitter and red bull cans.
I look down in the last john I’m hosing down and I see something. Peaking out of the mounds I see: a $20 bill.
I stared at it for a second but I could hear Pete coming down the line about to suck it into oblivion. I never seen cash in the john before. Sometimes you hear a coin clank through the hose but a 20 bill just staring you right in the face?
I did what any man would do. I grabbed it and when I pulled my hand out I was half expecting it to be missing a layer of skin.
Later I’m sitting in the truck staring at this 20 bucks thinking “why would this come to me?” There had to be a reason. It wasn’t just on the floor of some john. It was in the last john after the nastiest event at a time when all I needed was one shot.
It was the rhythm.
But having to do that for just $20 didn’t add up. There had to have been a greater purpose and you know what they say about money. You don’t let it sleep. You wanna get that money out and get it working.
Craps kicked my teeth in this morning and you can’t do shit with 20 bucks on a blackjack table. I had to think bigger.
Then I’m driving home from work and I see the 7/11. Powerball was at 2.11 BILLION. The biggest in history. If you got all 6 numbers right you got the whole chicken. If you got 5 you got just shy of 8 million bucks. Boom.
I had my usual numbers but this wasn’t a usual day. I told the cashier to give me “all randoms today.” 10 slips at $2 each.
That night I sat down on my couch waiting for the Powerball to come on tv... then I blacked out.
The next thing I knew I was staring at 6 numbers lit up on my tv screen: 08, 07, 14, 29, 40, 16
And on my slip: 08, 07, 14, 29, 40, 22
I had 5 out of 6 numbers. I’d just won 8 million dollars
April 9, 2022 – 9:01AM
I’m standing in line at the California Lottery Offices. It’s not some huge expansive place. It’s a shitty little line up of people with various ailments trying to dispute their $5 winning ticket.
My mind is racing. Who do I pay back first? Do they give me the cash here? Is it in a duffel bag? When do I have to hold that big ass check? Do I wear a mask? I saw a guy do it in a scream mask once to maintain his anonymity. Honestly it might be nice to be seen. Not only has everyone seen me as a piece of shit forever but also I haven’t exactly kept a detailed list of everyone I owe money to.
It’d be good for people to just hit me up, I can cut a check and tell them “thanks for your patience.” Maybe I’d even give them a little off the top as a tip.
The guy a the counter basically spat in my face; “It’s gotta be reviewed. Takes 2-5 days. We’ll email you a link to collect any winnings.” It was like I just accused him of something. No congratulations or anything which at first, I was pissed about but then I realized that clearly I wasn’t the first asshole who thought they won the lottery.
Except I really did. 2-5 days was nothing. I’d been living in the shit for years I could do another few days.
Stepping outside, everything looked the same. The air wasn’t purer or the sunlight any more sunlightier and I still had to fill up my tires at the Shell on Cahuenga. There’s something about being rich without actually having any appearance of being rich.
That secret alone is like having a bomb in your pocket. People treat you regular, they smile and make conversation but deep down you think...if I pulled this out I could kill you with it.
But when people do think you have money, the more of it they give you.
I rolled in the doors of the Hollywood like I always did. Lenny called me a bullshitter, Jackie barely even put her cigarette down and Jonie didn’t even bring me a drink because I didn’t actually have any money on the table. I didn’t even have money in my pocket. I’d spent it all on the Megamillions and I hadn’t eaten since perusing the halls for leftover room service the night before.
Then news hit. My face was on every TV in the place. “Local man wins 8 million dollar jackpot.”
I checked my phone to see if it was blowing up, then remembered I still hadn’t paid the bill in months. So I was good there.
April 9, 2022 – 11:11AM
If you’ve ever been on a casino floor you know that it’s never silent. But I swear to God if you were on the floor when that news hit, you could’ve heard the rats eating my Mini Eggs 20 miles away. Everyone’s eyes were trained on me. For a second I even felt all the security cams shift over in my direction.
I couldn’t stand being on the floor with nothing to play with so Lenny set me up with his guy who got me a little walking around money. Japanese guy who I met in a Burger King across the street. Weird dude. Not sure what his name was.
I didn’t wanna go too nuts so I just took out a small loan. 50k at 20 points. I thought about it for a second then realized I didn’t really give a shit about the interest. 10 grand to me in a week doesn’t mean nearly as much as 50 does now. It’s just value proposition. It would have been stupid NOT to take out the loan honestly.
Walking into the casino with 50 grand in my pocket and slamming it down on the table feels a lot like taking out your dick at an orgy only when your dick comes out it’s a 60 foot cigarette boat with flames painted on the side.
But then I learned what I remembered years ago. Losing money and gaining money at that point meant almost nothing.
So losing 2 grand a hand wasn’t such a big deal because I could be making 5 on the next. That’s why I needed a little more when I lost the full 50.
Another 100k or so at another 20 points should do the trick.
It didn’t take long to realize that both winning and losing money meant almost nothing to me. So I ventured out.
A tailored suit for me (ready in 2-3 days on a rush).
An iPad for James with all the bells and whistles.
6 dozen roses sent to Lenora’s house signed “your secret admirer.” just to fuck with Kelton.
A watch for me, Lenny and Jodie.
Some special cigar Jackie had always been eyeing.
New pairs of Nikes for all of us.
And a limousine to my dentist’s office.
I paid in cash for the cap replacement, they gave me some pills and told me not to mix them with alcohol but honestly I was a little distracted by the old molar cap sitting on the table. I had an idea.
“Are you gonna just throw that away?” I asked her.
By now I realized I didn’t have a phone to receive my winnings via email. So, I stopped a guy in the lobby and paid him 2 grand cash for his before popping a few pills and slugging some champagne in the limo.
There was barely enough time to sit back and relax. I had a lifetime of debt and yearning for shit to burn through.
We made it to the Mercedes dealership but the pain killers kicked in and I could barely feel my hands as they ran across the SLS’s mint green paint. Bummer.
Jenkins sauntered over asking if I was working today and all I remember saying was “I want it.” He scrunched his eyebrows in confusion, so I put the remaining cash I had down on the table and said it again. “I WANT IT.”
They ran my credit (which was dog shit. Didn’t matter) and I looked Jenkins in his fat little face again and said “I don’t give a fuck.” He sold it to me, financed at 25 percent interest. Then when he went to fetch my paperwork and keys I took a shit on his desk, shoved the molar cap and a $20 bill in it before using his jacket to wipe my ass. Felt right. Don’t really know why.
I had walked into the CA lottery offices at 9am to start the review process on my ticket’s authenticity.
By 11am, I was watching news break from the Hollywood Casino.
By 10pm I had accrued more debt than a small country.
I hadn’t received a dime from the lotto.
And I needed more walking around money.
April 10, 11, 12 – who the fuck knows what time
The next few days were a blur but there are a few things I’ll never forget.
Quitting my job.
Hiring the limo for the week.
Trying to shit after 3 days of having nothing but fast food, champagne and pain killers.
Fielding questions at the party from Kelton’s asshole friends who told me “lotto rich isn’t real rich.”
And the heat of my house burning to the ground as James and I stood there watching with a can of gas in our hands.
He didn’t even want the iPad.
The rhythms were sliding back. James had that smile plastered back in his face and even Lenora was happy to see me.
April 16, 7:35AM
“Dear Mr. Baxter. Congratulations! You’ve successfully matched FOUR of six winning numbers. Below please find a link to collect your winnings of $10,000.”
I read it over and over again. Over and over and over.
When I called the offices an nice woman on the phone informed me that due to a printing malfunction the ticket had appeared to show the number 8 when in fact it was a 6.
They even managed to maintain a sense of excitement. I mean why wouldn’t they? They think I just won $10,000. They had no idea I’d bought a car I couldn’t afford, burned my house down, taken a shit on my boss’ desk, maxed out 3 new credit cards and borrowed a inordinate amount of money from people at a borderline illegal interest rate.
The limo company took my ride away and with no home I’ve spent the last 2 days parked on the Pacific Coast Highway, sleeping in the brand new Mercedes I can’t afford, in a suit I shouldn’t have bought, showering in the YMCA down the street, and eating 2-day-old coconut shrimp.
All of a sudden I’m fucked again. But as I stare out at the Pacific, my phone dings. It’s an alert from the Chase banking app. My lotto winnings of $10,000 have just hit my account and the only question is...
Are the rhythms with me or not?
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2023.03.29 06:34 KidsDeserveDeath anon lives in greatest country ever
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2023.03.29 05:58 LadyAntiope Completed Bingo card with reviews: Re-tellings theme
This is my second year of bingo, so naturally I had to extra challenge myself and do a themed card this time. I set out to do strictly re-tellings, but I ended up broadening the category to include strongly inspired by or incorporating folk tales or mythology. It’s a category I read a lot in anyway, and I love that the genre is exploding to include cultures world-wide. And yet somehow I only ended up with 13 authors of color (out of 40 - counting all the short stories). But this year was about 90% women (with 3 non-binary and one man), so huzzah for feminist re-tellings! And all but four of the authors were new to me. I didn’t quite hit all hard mode, but the theme was my hard mode, really.
I tried to cover a variety of inspiration texts (myths, folk tales, “classic literature,” film) as well as stories from around the world, but I’m missing any representation from Australia and the Pacific Islands as well as South America. The origins of a lot of the stories are Western European, but some have been re-told in settings elsewhere in the world. East Asia also ended up well represented.
I did end up substituting a square this year. Instead of “weird ecology,” I opted for 2018’s “a god is a character” square. There were a couple books that had some weird landscaping in them, but none of them quite fit the spirit of the square. Things like a magical forest in an otherwise standard-issue earthly landscape rather than a fundamentally different ecosystem overall. If anyone has any recs for re-tellings set on far-flung planets, let me know! I tend not to do deep researching – mostly I read somewhat mindfully, hoping for the best, and panic in January.
Here’s the visual card: https://imgur.com/4XRW9W9
Song of Achilles
by Madeline Miller (LGBTQIA list) The Iliad from Patroclus’ perspective, but starting with his childhood and teenage years in which he and Achilles grow up together and fall in love.
If you remember the Iliad or just the general arc of the story of the Trojan war, then you will go into this knowing it’s going to be a tragedy. That doesn’t make the pain any less exquisite. The time we spend growing up with Patroclus moves from lonely and neglected to beautiful, golden, idyllic. The voice of Patroclus – pacifist and healer – is expertly written and his relationship with god-like Achilles is full of moments that make the heart ache. This is still on the best-seller list for a reason.
Lore Olympus: Volume One
by Rachel Smythe (Substitute square: god character, HM) Olympus is a contemporary city, albeit still only inhabited by gods, and Hades and Persephone might be falling for each other.
Graphic novel. The limited color palettes in this volume are excellent, emphasizing mood and character. It’s beautiful to read. The Greek gods are notorious for having very human flaws, and this telling feels very rooted in human emotions. Olympus feels a bit like a college campus in this telling. There’s a lot of loneliness, and trying to figure out how to fit in. It also gets a big content warning for rape.
Hag: Forgotten Folk Tales Retold
by Imogen Hermes Gowar, Naomi Booth, Emma Glass, Irenosen Okojie, Daisy Johnson, Natasha Carthew, Eimear McBride, Liv Little, Mahsuda Snaith, Kirsty Logan (2+ authors, HM) Strange folk tales from every corner of the U.K. are re-imagined – often in contemporary settings – giving women voices they may have been denied in the originals.
It took me a long time to read all these short stories because almost every one deals with death or brutality towards women. That’s not to say they all have unhappy endings – indeed, some have joyously vengeful endings – but there’s quiet tragedy and outright violence woven throughout. Powerful stories, strong narrator voices, and often poetic prose, but read when in a strong mental state.
A Clash of Steel: A Treasure Island Remix
by C.B. Lee (Historical, HM) Treasure Island set in 1826 in the South China Sea with a pirate crew of queer misfits sailing for treasure and a better life – plus actual historical Pirate Queen Zheng Yi Sao as Captain Flint.
With contemporary prose and an updated cast, this still feels true to the source material with the adventurous quest deciphering maps and clues. Long John Silver doesn’t have an exact analogue, but his surprisingly complex parental feelings come through with found-family bonds as well as a wild ride of birth-family feelings, and a fraught lesbian love interest.
Once & Future
by Cory McCarthy, A.R. Capetta (Set in Space, HM) This time, King Arthur is a queer teenage girl on the run from the big bad capitalist Mercer Corporation – in space!
In this re-telling, the characters are aware of the King Arthur story as a myth from Old Earth, but when they find themselves re-incarnating the well-worn pattern, they don’t seem to recognize it beyond the magic sword and Ari’s renewed determination to be a hero. Merlin has lived through every iteration, and has his own interests at play. Our heroes spend a fair bit of time in their space ship or on planet-sized space-stations, though it may be pushing the rule to say it’s 50% actually in space. This is a YA book and it definitely reads that way, but it’s fun. I thought the “Renaissance Faire Planet” was a bit of a stretch and the big bad was almost a caricature of every evil empire, but if you can look past a bit of cheesiness, there’s plenty of sci-fi action, a quick pace, and some intrigue under the surface.
The Wolf and the Woodsman
by Ava Reid (Standalone, HM) Hungarian and Jewish folklore plus the early spread of Christianity weave together to create a world where magic manifests differently depending on your religious tradition, the Christians are ardent new converts in charge of a poor besieged country, and persecution abounds.
The first person perspective came with a lot of (justified) rage and some pretty violent moments, but I found Évike’s voice to be frustratingly naïve at times. The pacing was uneven, and with a lot of elements in play the story was lacking cohesion. I felt okay on the enemies-to-lovers trope in this one. Overall, this book was redeemed for me by the imagined folk stories woven in, and the heart-warming moments spent in the Jewish community. (I forget the actual names of the religions in the book, but they’re pretty obvious stand-ins.)
These Violent Delights
by Chloe Gong (Anti-hero, HM) This time, Romeo and Juliet are in rival gangs in 1926 Shanghai, but their teenage romance is already dead from betrayal at the start of the book and a strange madness is devastating the city they struggle to rule.
I usually read-read, but this one I listened to and I loved the narrator! I had a few hang-ups on Juliet as a character (though perfect anti-hero material). Which was tough since she got of lot of screen time, but thankfully we also got Roma and some absolutely wonderful side characters, including a trans woman and a refuses-to-admit-it gay couple. There were some moments of lovely prose, plenty of action, and all the jostling factions in the city were well-balanced in the narrative. First of a series, I definitely want to pick up the second one soon.
All the Murmuring Bones
by A.G. Slatter (Book Club, HM) Drawing primarily on Irish folklore, this is the story of a girl who wants to escape her family obligations - ones that come with generational trauma and greed.
It’s a little hard to talk about this one without spoilers since there are basically three distinct sections and each could almost stand as a story on its own, but each depends on the earlier one. Another angry woman in this one, taking matters into her own hands and trying to break spells, break open dark family secrets, and get free of men who are trying very hard to be in charge. I liked the gothic atmosphere, the prose, and probably the middle journey section with fairy-tale creature encounters was my favorite. The family history is also told in mini fairy-tales throughout. The ending fell a bit flat, and I didn’t really connect to the main character, but neither of those were deal-breakers for me.
by Nicola Griffith (Cool Weapon, HM) From the King Arthur mythos, the story of Percival and the quest for the holy grail, but Percival is a supernatural queer woman who lives in sixth century Wales when the pagan gods still have power.
Novella. The story opens slowly and with some very poetic prose to start Peretur’s early life in the wilderness with her mother – a mythic feeling that I fell hard for right off the bat. And yet it also felt very much a story from history – the details of the setting showed the research Griffith put in. I wish it were just a touch longer to give some more room to the relationship developments that get packed into the back half of the book. But the interweaving of historical details, tidbits from myth and story, and imagination was so flawless that this re-telling feels like it could be the "true" history of the story-figure. Even including the gender flip - a skillfully handled "woman dresses as a man to be a knight" trope that works even better when the woman is queer.
Lord of Light
by Roger Zelazny (Revolution/Rebellion, HM) On a distant planet in the far future, the original colonizing crew have set themselves up as gods, specifically taking on the roles of the Hindu pantheon. One member heartily disagrees with how the rest are running things.
The prose in this one was a little tough and I’m pretty sure the style is a deliberate choice to make this book feel more akin to reading a religious text. And as a play off of Hesse’s 1922 Siddhartha
, since they share the same main character. But some of it may also simply be because it was written in 1967. Still, the content is intriguing. The struggle is between the immortal gods who like being the ones with all the advanced tech (including re-incarnation to transfer themselves into new bodies), and the one who thinks this is some kinda bullshit, why make the inhabitants here go through the dark ages when they could have medicine and electricity now. The premise and watching it play out is the interest here, not so much any emotional investment in the characters.
The Dark Descent of Elizabeth Frankenstein
by Kiersten White (Name in the Title, HM) Still asking, “who is the monster?” and giving the same answer even more definitively than the original, this is a re-telling of Frankenstein from Elizabeth’s POV with some distinctive twists.
In 2022 I did the Dracula read-along and then promptly decided it was finally time to do Frankenstein as well. Which meant I could now read re-tellings of these classics. Elizabeth, when you get to hear her side, turns out not only to be independent-minded, but also a remarkable anti-hero character trying desperately to maintain the only stability she’s ever known. Though there are a lot of grim happenings and emotional abuse, this version has more hope for humanity than the original (which, imo, has almost none). Also, unlike narrator Viktor, Elizabeth doesn’t make you hate her guts regularly; she’s just trying to survive. The prose was the weak point in this one, especially coming off Mary Shelley, but not detrimentally so.
What Moves the Dead
by T. Kingfisher (Author Uses Initials, HM) Poe’s short story “The Fall of the House of Usher” leaves plenty of room for embellishing and this novella does so perfectly with nightmare fungus, more rounded-out characters (including a non-binary protagonist), and horrifyingly possessed creatures.
Alex is a rational narrator, the best kind for encountering increasingly creepy phenomena. Even with the addition of a no-nonsense mycologist and a competent American doctor, the atmosphere of oppressive, inevitable horror from the original short story suffuses this novella. There certainly are rational lines of thoughts to follow to unravel the mystery of the Ushers’ illnesses, but that doesn’t stop each revelation from setting everyone on edge and fearing madness of themselves. Gothic. Horror. Perfection.
Daughter of the Moon Goddess
by Sue Lynn Tan (Published in 2022, HM) The Chinese story of Chang’e is the basis for this re-telling, but this focuses on her daughter and starts after the original stories end. Xingyin’s quest is to obtain freedom and forgiveness for her mother’s actions that gained her goddess status, but exiled her to the moon.
The world building of the Celestial Kingdom was a highlight of this one for me since I’m not super familiar with the Chinese pantheon. The story itself relied on some classic YA tropes (including a love triangle, one of my least favorites) and I found the narrator’s voice somewhat simplistic. She’s also a very emotional character, which at times was endearing and at others frustrating. Wise, peaceful dragons do make an appearance, though, and there’s some good political intrigue and a few unforeseen twists. An entertaining read overall, and there’s set-up for the second book, but this one wrapped up nicely enough and I’m not feeling pressed to read the second one right away.
The Chosen and the Beautiful
by Nghi Vo (Urban Fantasy, HM) The Great Gatsby, but from Jordan Baker’s perspective and she’s a bi Vietnamese adoptee in a New York where magic makes all the parties more dazzling.
It’s hard to like any of the characters in the Gatsby story, but Jordan Baker as narrator certainly gets more sympathy from me in this go-round. Raised in a rich white family, she carries internalized racism with her, and yet struggles against it every day in a country that is trying to enact a law that will force her to leave. Where the original story condemns classism and unbridled ambition, this story expands its criticism to America’s long history of excluding people of color and the LGBTQ+ community. The prose is gorgeous, and where it overlaps with original scenes it dovetails perfectly. The magic adds an extra shimmer to this story, but doesn’t outshine the character work. I hope this one gets added to curriculums to pair with the original.
Skin of the Sea
by Natasha Bowen (Set in Africa, HM) Inspired by West African mythology with the Little Mermaid for some plot points. Simi was a human who became a Mami Wata and is struggling to fit into her role bringing home the souls of those who died at sea. One decision endangers all the Mami Wata and sends her on a quest with a boy that will entangle her with the gods and other legendary creatures.
This story is chock full of magical beings, young adults attempting to navigate dangerous situations as well as their relationships, and quests of mythic proportions. The dark underbelly of the story is the destruction of West African communities as colonizers take their people into slave ships. Though tragedy runs alongside the story, our heroes mostly manage to stay one step ahead of the worst outcomes. The quest did some meandering, and characterizations were a bit uneven, but I think it really came together in the latter half. The main plot wraps up well, but makes set-up for the next book clear and I do intend to get to it eventually.
A Snake Falls to Earth
by Darcie Little Badger (Non-human protagonist, HM) With roots in Lipan Apache storytelling traditions, this is the story of a cottonmouth snake and a human girl whose worlds run in parallel, but become entangled as they try to save friends and family from existential threats.
This technically has two protagonists, but the snake is the one whose chapters are in first person and the human’s are in third person. This also would have been great for the hard mode BIPOC author square since the author is Lipan Apache. I absolutely loved everyone in this story. Nina is an intrepid modern girl and a loner, but with strong family ties; and Ollie is a homebody snake setting out to make his way in the wide world. The friends Ollie makes help him to discover his own bravery, and they are a delightfully colorful bunch of creatures! Nina is trying to help her grandmother and unravel the mysteries of their family’s past and possible connections to the animal people. Read this story to be filled with the love of friendship and family, and hope in the face of climate change and social media ills.
Fractured Fables: A Spindle Splintered & A Mirror Mended
by Alix E. Harrow (Timey Wimey, HM) Zinnia Gray’s illness means she likely won’t live past 21, but when she falls into a Sleeping Beauty parallel universe, she might be able to at least save someone else from that fate. In book two, she’s dealing poorly with life in the “real” world, but busting out into a new fairy tale multi-verse (Snow White’s), and finding even more complications in the re-tellings there.
I read both novellas currently out in this series, and our hero does a fair bit of jumping around the fairy tale multiverse which makes it clear that time doesn’t run evenly across it all. It’s not really the focus, but it’s there, and it does affect a couple plot points. I think Alix Harrow read the same book I did about disability in fairy tales (Disfigured by Amanda Leduc) and took it to heart to create her hero in this contemporary fairy tale take. Zinnia’s chronic illness is both from an industrial accident and an embodiment of a fairy tale curse. These books don’t take themselves too seriously, but do handle disability and the emotional impacts that come with it pretty well, I think. Disney’s re-telling style features in book one, and book two gets some darker, more horror-esque takes.
by S. Jae-Jones (Mental Health) The re-telling of Jim Henson’s Labyrinth you didn’t know you needed with extra depth from Germanic folk roots and a little Hades-Persephone flavor. Set in early 19th century Bavaria, protagonist Liesl is a composer stuck helping run her family’s inn; in the woods, Der Erlkönig (the Goblin King), may be a relic of a pagan past, but that doesn’t stop him from meddling with her heart and her family members.
Liesl is bipolar and her brother (prodigy violinist) has anxiety and (in book 2) severe depression. Her father is an alcoholic. The family member who gets stolen and must be retrieved is her beautiful sister, the life of the family. Liesl’s wild up and down swings are on full display when she enters the realm of the Goblin King and is trying to navigate her relationship with him, her relationship with her music, and her love for her family. This is an emotional book and you will be angry at almost every character at some point. But it’s also heartbreakingly beautiful. The romance sizzles; it’s unhealthy and you want them to fix it. It’s probably not a book for everyone, but I spent a fevered day and a half devouring it. For extra doses of struggling with mental health, sobbing, and musical composing, read book two – Shadowsong.
In the Shadows of Giants
by Lazette Gifford (Self-published, HM) In the far future, the Norse pantheon ends up pitted against the Chinese pantheon and an elder god in a potential new Ragnarok with Loki trying to avoid the mishaps of the last one – in space!
Loki gets some good character work in this book, but other characters are a little light on depth. Though Loki is the main focus, I liked that we got some chapters in the Chinese pantheon as well, getting some insight into the politics of the situation from their perspective – and not everyone in their pantheon is on board with the way things are going. Loki is also not really convinced of teaming up with the rest of his own pantheon again either, but he still has a few good ties there and room to mends some relationships. This wasn’t a stand-out novel for me, but neither do I have any strong complaints. It’s a solid sci-fi-fantasy mix, good prose, and well-paced plotting.
by Gwendolyn Kiste (Runner-up, HM) It’s 1967 in San Francisco and Lucy (from Dracula) and Bertha (from Jane Eyre) are the titular reluctant immortals trying to keep their tormentors from destroying more lives.
This seems like it could be an action-packed super-powered immortal battle, but instead it’s the mundanity of simply surviving as an undead being, escalating slowly into a horrifying body count. Obviously I had to read this after finishing the Dracula read-along. The tone is such a contrast! Where Dracula’s heroes struggle nobly against the darkness, this version is full of quiet desperation and bleakness more fitting as the successor to Jane Eyre. As the action ramps up in the last third, it plays out more like a contemporary horror film, including a strange liminal space in the afterlife and scenes of a modern mansion filled with the decay that the undead bring. The drug haze of California in the 60’s suffuses the story. I’m not entirely convinced this was a re-telling we needed, but I’m also not mad about it.
by Vaishnavi Patel (BIPOC author) Kaikeyi is only briefly in the Hindu epic The Ramayana, but her “wicked stepmother” action sets the plot of it in motion. In this novel, she is given a voice and a backstory and a complex world she must navigate as a woman who wants more independence not only for herself, but for all the women of her country.
The relationship building in the latter half is one of the highlights of this book. It’s helped by some magic, but Kaikeyi puts in the work to build bonds of love and mutual respect in the royal household where she is youngest of three wives. Rama (her step-son) is the main character in the original epic (a god incarnated to vanquish evil forces), and so the reader is clued in early that disaster will befall the family because of a conflict between Kaikeyi and her husband and Rama; the threat of that tragedy seeps into even the happy parts of the story. Kaikeyi is a champion of early feminism in this telling, but she’s still human with plenty of flaws and struggles and imperfect vision. I found this book to be a bit of a slow build to connect with characters, but by the end I was absolutely tearing up. A powerful telling.
by Heather Walter (Shapeshifters, HM) In this Sleeping Beauty re-telling (perhaps prequel), the villain is not yet the villain – though society certainly treats her as an outcast – and a forbidden love is blooming.
This is a coming of age story for an already young adult character. Alice wants to be accepted (and loved), proving she’s not the evil pariah society thinks she is, but she also wants to escape the role she’s forced into. The build-up of tension between her warring desires is well done. As she discovers her true powers (spoilers since I used it for the shapeshifting square!) she’s put even more at odds with the establishment, and yet her growing love for Princess Aurora gives her hope for a more idyllic outcome than the escape she’s trying to plan. This was another enjoyable but not necessarily a stand-out read for me. Excellent character work for the protagonist and a slower pacing, but never felt like it was dragging. I will definitely read book 2 since this one ends with a bang.
Girl, Serpent, Thorn
by Melissa Bashardoust (No Ifs, Ands, or Buts, HM) This book mushes up elements from Sleeping Beauty, Rapunzel, Beauty and the Beast, and probably others, and spins a whole new story with Persian flair. A poisonous princess is kept hidden away, but when knowledge of her curse comes from a demon, her decisions will have far-reaching consequences for her whole family and the question of who to trust becomes thorny.
This was another one where the protagonist is striving to be a good person, caring for her family, and yet she understandably wants to escape her curse and is maybe willing to do some questionable things to make it happen. It’s hard to keep being good when, even though you are loved, you can’t touch anyone and have to live in a gilded cage. This story took a lot of twists and turns, including betrayals of all kinds. The romance elements were laced with emotional tension, but kept sexual feelings to a bare minimum. I felt this could have used a bit of plot streamlining, but I liked the Persian-inspired world, the overall arc of the story, and I felt it wrapped up well for a complex stand-alone.
For the Wolf
by Hannah Whitten (Family Matters) I thought this would be primarily Little Red Riding Hood, but it’s got a huge helping of Beauty and the Beast and a dose of fairy tale sisters tropes as well. Red is the sister that will be sacrificed to the Wolf in the Wilderwood in hopes of the gods’ return. Turns out, that whole Wolf and Wilderwood thing is really complicated.
This has a lot of elements that I tend to look favorably on – a broody love interest, a magical forest, sibling bonds – but it didn’t quite pull together for me in this book. Both characters in the romance got good development and their choices did make sense for who they were, but it was a very frustrating one to read and caused a lot of drag in the middle. The sibling relationship was much better and the sister who gets to become queen has a wonderfully tragic arc in the name of saving her lost sister. The forest itself and the religion/magic that goes with it don’t get a ton of satisfying explanation, but that’s partly due to everyone actually struggling to figure out how it works. It gets an A+ for creepy atmosphere, though! Imagery from Grimm’s more grim tales abounds and I appreciated the slight edge of horror that creeps in. Not super likely to pick up book 2.
I’ve done a terrible job being concise here, so I’ll try to do a really quick run-down on the short stories. I just listed the first collection on my official bingo turn-in to make it easy, but I like being able to fill in all the slots in my spreadsheet, so there are five things here. Hopefully someone has made it this far down – if so, thank you for reading!
The Bloody Chamber & Other Stories
by Angela Carter (collection)
The titular story is one of the better ones – a re-telling of Bluebeard. Covering the classics of western European fairy tales, this collection features a lot of liberated sex with a 70s feminist lean (publication date: 1979). Girls and beasts are the big theme. There were a few excellent ones and several that left me going “but why?” The Bride of the Blue Wind
by Victoria Goddard
Closer to a novelette, but that gave this story room to get some solid world-building in. Bluebeard again, but with Bluebeard being a djinn sort of character. I loved the trader communities and desert setting and the family dynamic with the wife’s sisters. Tales of Old Gods & New
by Kate MacLeod (collection)
This collection had two specific re-tellings: another “Norse gods in the far future” re-telling which was also a sci-fi survival story, and an African inspired goddess trying to escape the cycle of her story. These were two solid ones, some of the other in the collection I felt were unfinished scribbling thoughts for novel-sized stories. Hunting Monsters
series by S.L. Huang (2 short stories, one novella)
This collection mashed up eastern and western settings and stories, including Red Riding Hood, Beauty & the Beast, the Legend of the White Snake, and Hou Yi the Archer. The main characters of the novella are middle-aged women long past the prime in which their original stories took place and I liked that take a lot. The short stories focus on a daughter and deal with culture clashes and parent-child tensions. A Cathedral of Myth & Bone
by Kat Howard (collection)
The feature in this collection is a novelette of the King Arthur story set on a college campus with grad students who are themselves studying the mythos of King Arthur. Most of the other stories in the collection take inspiration from saints’ lives or myth and folk tale tropes (or the concept of storytelling itself) and play with them in new settings. I found a lot more hits than misses in this collection.
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2023.03.29 05:36 Aware_Routine_3875 Am I responsible for our relationship not working?
I am sorry. This is a long post, but I am just trying to give as much details as I can so that you guys can give me your opinions. Thank you to those who will take the time to read this post and give your opinion. I apologize in advance for any grammatical errors.
I (F/36) met my now ex-boyfriend (M/34 - we will call him James) on an app (not a dating app) at the start of the pandemic, March 2020. We started off as friends. Given that we were both in lock-down, we would text each other all day, all night and over the months, we grew closer (we started texting then slowly moved to phone calls). Please do not judge me, but even though we had not met in person yet, I started to really like him, the feeling was mutual for him. It felt like we had been friends for years, talking to each other was easy. We do not live in the same country (two different continents). When restrictions got looser, he met another girl (we will call her Donna - they started off as friends) and reconnected with his ex (we will call her Jennifer - they broke up two years prior to lock down, it really affected him).
He started spending a lot of time with Jennifer, spent his days with her and slept at her place, but said they were just friends. He mentioned that he was hoping that he could try again with her because he felt like he owed it to her (they broke up twice). At the same time, he also grew closer to Donna. But he would also tell me that he really liked me. We would talk everyday and he would tell me that he would love to meet me and see where things could go between us. He also said that the type of connection we had, he never had it before.
In September or October 2020 we stopped talking because things were just not working and he wanted to give it a try with Donna. I will admit it, I was crushed. I really liked him and our connection. We cut contact for several months but he called on my birthday, and we picked up right where we left off, The connection was even stronger. That night, we talked for hours on the phone. I learned that he and Jennifer, his ex, got together but it did not work. He also tried with Donna, they were not officially together, but things just did not work out because she was uncomfortable with the type of relationship he had with his ex, and if I remember correctly, she felt like his ex would not allow him to move on. Even though he was seeing Donna, he would spend time with Jennifer.
Over the next months, James and I grew closer and we started video calling - even though we had reconnected, I was still a bit active on dating apps. Our feelings for each other grew and we started talking about meeting in person. Given that it was getting serious (I know it is not a real relationship until we meet in person but we were really close and we really wanted to meet each other and see where things would take us) I basically told him that I wanted to give it a try and only focus on him, not meet new people or date until we meet, and if it does not work with him, we could just stay friends. I also told him that if he still wanted to meet or date other people until we meet, I was okay with it but I would be doing the same. I told him that it is not something that I am interested in doing and it would hurt a bit since I really like him, but if he was seeing other people I would too. We both agreed to just focus on each other and stop dating.
I decided to buy a plane ticket to meet him. At first, what I had decided to do was to spend a few days with him to see how we get along and then spend the rest of my trip in another country that I had always wanted to visit.
I have low self-esteem, I am insecure and always doubt myself, I always thought that once he sees me in person, he would not be interested. But I felt so strong about him that I decided to change my plane ticket and spend the whole trip with him and not go to the other country.
Because I did not have enough vacations left, I decided to do overtime at work. 1 month before my trip, I found out that he added as a friend this girl on his Facebook who had an account on an app and would wear sexy revealing clothes, act sexy and tease a bit- like Only Fans but not really. She was not naked. Her audience were pretty much thirsty men. I questioned him about it and told him that I was not comfortable with that, given what she does, and did not want to come see him (did I overreact?). We talked about it and at that time he told me that he does know her, he has never spoken to her or seen her in his life and does not know how she ended up on his Facebook. We worked it out and things were okay.
We finally met and it was great! I ended up spending the whole trip at his place and met his family (I had booked a hotel for 3 days and initially planned on staying there just to see how James and I got on but I ended up not staying there). We decided to make it official.
During my stay, his ex, Jennifer, called him quite a lot. She was aware of who I was and that I was visiting him. Also, a random number kept calling him and would also text him, telling him stuff like oh you have replaced me with another woman. Although I felt like his ex, Jennifer, was a bit too present, I invited them both to dinner and paid. One time she even called him crying because she was moving out of her place and it would be her last night in her apartment. While I was there, she asked him If he would help her move out, I told him I would help as well but then she said that they could do the moving after I was gone since he was spending time with me.
I decided to go back to visit him a second time 3 months later and that is when things started to change. One day, we were walking and he saw Donna but she did not see him. He immediately texted her telling her that he saw her. I got an uneasy feeling, I do not know how to describe it. When we got to his place, I saw at the top of a shelf a woman body spray, I asked him where he got it from, deep down I knew the answer, he said it belonged to Donna. He got it from her because it smelled nice and used it to spray his room to make it smell nice. We got into an argument and he called me by her name telling me that I was basically acting crazy, just like her. We made up and he explained that he called me by her name because we were just talking about her, but I had a gut feeling that there was more.
When James and Donna ended things, they remained friends, would text each other here and there, according to him, but nothing more. I was a bit uncomfortable with their friendship because of their history but also because of my insecurities, not going to lie.
That night I decided to go through his phone. I found messages between them. He told me that he was not meeting up with her but they did, they would sometimes eat lunch when he was in town, he would tell her oh I saw you when I passed by your work but you were hiding from me, or he would ask her what she was doing and she would say she was having a ladies night with her friends and he said he would come join her and she told him no it is only ladies (when asked him about him, he said he was only joking he was not gonna join her, he was just teasing her), one time, he texted her at 1AM asking her what she was doing and if she wanted to come chill with him and just have a smoke, she said no. He would often offer to do things with her and not the contrary. In one of the messages, he was telling her how he knew she missed his private part or something like that, he referred to his private part, and on one occasion he reminded her of the time they had s*x in the bushes in front of his house and she told him to not remind her of that (in a joking way) and he said never haha.... Those messages date back to when I got back from my first trip and I had already bought my second ticket.
I also found screenshots of that girl (her ass) he had added on Facebook, screenshot of a naked webcam girl, naked pictures of his ex, Jennifer, and a conversation of him and another person on an anonymous chat, where he had sent her a picture of his private part. I looked at the dates and all of them, pictures and screenshots, were taken while we were not officially together but when we said that we would only be focusing on each other. I was hurt. He said that he has deleted the pictures and screenshots and was not even aware that they were still on his phone (I found them on Google drive).
I understand that going through his phone was wrong but I did worse, not my proudest moment, I decided to text Donna from his phone. I introduced myself, I was very polite and so was she. I basically asked her what was going on between them and she assured me that there was nothing going on, they were just friends, and that it is me that he wanted since he basically picked me over her. She was nice and even offered to meet me up in person to talk about it. I thanked her for answering my questions and left it at that. The next day, I texted her again because I had one more question. When she found out that James and I were official it really affected her, she was hurt and she did not appreciate that he ignored her while I was there the first time because it is not what friends do, she also told him that even though I had met him before her she spent more time with him or something like that, but all it took is one week for him to decide to make me his girlfriend. She told him that she felt like he only used her and only wanted to be with her because he was waiting for me.
I learned that they slept together 3 weeks before my first trip and even got closer to each other but decided that it was not a good idea. I understand that at that time I had not met James in person but the fact that we both said that we were gonna wait to meet each other before trying with anyone else and the fact that I was emotionally invested in this made this whole thing bad.
We both agreed to not see other people, but he did and I did not, so I felt like he robbed me of an opportunity of meeting someone in my country and made me waste my time and money since he was not serious. He said that he did not meant to get close to her and knowing his luck, he was not sure I was really gonna come (when I changed my flight ticket I sent him a picture of the ticket and hotel reservation). I mentioned to him that I was scared of meeting and that knowing myself I would go to the airport but would end up changing my mind. Me saying that gave him the impression that I was not really gonna come to visit him. I was really scared that he was not gonna like me. He also said that he thought that I was seeing other people because I was sometimes sketchy. He said that he would never do what he did while we are together because 1) we have met and are official 2) he loves me and has never cheated on any of his girlfriends. He was always the one who got cheated on.
When he woke up, well I woke him up since I was leaving, I was ready to go back home. I confronted him and he said he did not do anything wrong. I packed my stuff and left for the train station. He met me at the train station and convinced me to stay. I would like to add that a couple of days before that day we had an argument, I cannot remember about what, but he was sick the night I arrived, we found out that he had COVID, his dad and I did a COVID test and I told him that if I do not have COVID I would go to another country to visit ( I had already planned on visiting that country during my trip and we talked about it) and come back because I did not want to risk catching COVID. I think we argued because he felt like I was being selfish and did not take into consideration his feelings. The arguments got pretty intense and I started packing my bags to leave his house and just go back home. We made up and I went to the other country for 3 days. His dad and I tested negative for COVID.
I agree that it was selfish to want to leave him like that while he was sick. I accept that it was immature to want to leave whenever we had arguments. I know that I have some issues that I need to work on.
After I found out about the texts and pictures and confronted him about them we talked. I told him that I wanted to end things with him because I did not think that I would be able to trust him once I got back home, and I would always be wondering if he was with someone else. We talked some more, I decided that I was gonna stay in a hotel because I did not want to face his family since I had told them that I was going back home since things with James were not working. I could not find a room so I went back to his place. The rest of the trip went well, i met more members of his family and decided to extend my trip of 3 more days since we got into so many arguments. Also, I told him that I felt like his ex, Donna, was not over him and because of that their friendship made me uncomfortable.
When I went back home, I was okay for the first 2 weeks but then started to not feel good, I did not trust him, I was in another country, I felt like he wanted to be with Donna. We talked about it he said he understood, that it was normal and it would take time for us to be okay again but we would be alright. Weeks passed and I was not doing okay, I told him I could not do it anymore and wanted things to stop. The breakup lasted 2 days (keep in mind that we are both in our 30s but sometimes react like teenagers. I am aware that I acted in an immature way on more than one occasion).
He informed me that when we broke up he reached out to Donna because he needed someone to talk to and she helped him since we got back together. I was hurt and I must admit I was insecure about their connection, I always felt like he was not over her and she was not over him.
Although we got back together I still did not feel good, I was not convinced that he was faithful to me, so I decided to do another dumb thing, I texted him from a fake number from his country (there is an app where you can get a foreign number and sent/receive messages). I basically pretended to be someone else, I was basically testing him. He did not do or say anything wrong. He just kept asking who I was. That same night, he told me about it and said that he did not know who it was but thought it was Donna. He asked her about it and she obviously said it was not her, but he said that he thought she was lying because the things that I was saying only she would know about it, he never thought it was me. He did ask me if it was me or maybe my sister but I acted like I did not know anything. He said that from that day he lost trust in her. She is someone he greatly appreciates.
She wanted to remain friends and so did he but he realised that it was toxic and because it could affect our relationship he said that he would once again cut contact with her. She told him that she was over him since she was seeing someone else, and kept repeating that they could still be friends since she was over him, he said that the fact that she was repeating she was over him made him think that she was not. I thought the same.
I told him that I would make an effort and try to be okay with their friendship, but for now I would not feel comfortable with them meeting. So he said that he would not text her but will answer her when she texted. They stopped talking and one night she texted him asking him to come pick her up, he went and while they were driving she touched his knee, and private part. She asked him to hold her hands since friends can hold hands, he did. When they were outside the car, she leaned towards him and kissed him on the lips, he said that as soon as she did that he backed away. It was during that night that she found out that James and I got back together.
She was really upset because she had no idea we were back together, she thought that he was still single and that is why she allowed herself to do what she did. She said that she just wanted to test him and see if they were still something going on between the two or if she was over him. According to her, the fact that nothing happened that night proved that she was over him. I do not understand that. James asked her if he had offered her to go back to his place to sleep together would she had done it, she said yes. So he told her that she was not over him or something like that. They got into an argument, he felt bad for hurting her and he cried. He told me about it and I was once again crushed, because he was depressed about the whole situation, he was crying and trying for a full day to reach out to her to resolve things so that they could leave things cordially. He wanted me to support him while he was supporting her and making sure she was alright.
They ended talking but things were not resolved. I asked him what he wanted from me and her? He kept asking me what I wanted, I wanted him to tell me exactly what he wanted and not to make a decision because he thought he would make me happy. He mentioned that he wanted to keep her as a friend and have me as a girlfriend. I told him that it was not fair of me to ask him to cut people he cares about out of his life but I would also have to make the best decision for me which was ending things with him because I was not comfortable. He said that he did not want to lose me so he was cutting her out. I asked him if he had romantic feelings for her, he said no, I asked what does he feel for her, he said he loves her like he loves his friends and family and he cares about her.
Obviously, things were not like before, so I decided to visit him a third time so that we could work things out. I was gonna stay a few days with him, then leave to visit my family in another country and come back to stay with him for 1 month and half or a month because we were planning on me moving to his country. So we wanted to first see how we would get along for that long period.
When I stayed there for a few days, a woman (we will call her Annie) who works for his family called him at 2 in the morning. I saw her name and I asked him to pick it up, at first he did not want to because we were sleeping, I insisted and asked him to answer or I would. He answered, she sounded drunk she asked him to come pick him up, he told her that we were sleeping. I was so upset, because I was already having doubts about their relationship because since he stopped talking to Donna he was spending more time with Annie and her kids. This was new since he never hung out with her or the kids. He said that he was hanging out with them so that he would have something to do and get out of the house. Anyway, after he told her that we were sleeping, he hung up and she texted him "really" or "wow", I cannot remember which. She called again, then called again an hour later. I was upset, we argued and I told him that we should just go pick her up. He said no. I asked him if anything happened between the two, he said no. I asked him if he ever went to pick her up late at night, he said no and that it was the first time that she had called him that late and she never asked him to come pick her up in the past. We argued some more and made up. The next day she apologised and said she could not remember what happened and could not remember how she got home. She told him to tell me that I had nothing to worry about. Later on, he said that he thinks that someone may have put something in her drink when she was out, she said she only had one or 2 drinks. But we are now not sure about that because she did other things.
I went to visit my family in another country and came back to stay with James. While he was sleeping, he received a Facebook notification from Donna telling him "I am gonna ask you one more time to leave me the f**k alone". I was boiling, I woke him up and asked him what was that about, he said he did not know why she was messaging him, I was fuming. He said he told me he did not know why she was messaging because he had just woken up and did not know what was happening. He said she answered that because he had messaged her because after getting stung by a bee, the doctor told him he could have died (turned out he is allergic, he got tested) and he wanted to leave things cordially with her, he regretted some of the things he told her (a couple of days after he picked her up late at night, they saw each other in town and got into a screaming match in public, she told him that she was using him for s*x, he also found out that she was talking to one of his friends, she told that friend that she was afraid to leave her house because James was stalking her, he promised me that he was not. Later on he told me that she said that his friend misunderstood what she said and that the two occasions she saw him outside her place she was already aware that he was there).
I once again decided to go through his phone while he was asleep. In his family chat there were messages between him, his brother and cousin. His cousin was asking him if we were gonna come to dinner since she needed to make reservation, then his brother asked if James was going to have all his ladies at the table, his cousin (who is friends with Annie) answered that she did not want any drama at dinner, his brother answered that he wanted to see the drama then James answered maybe he should invite Donna so that we could have a Mexican standoff. I was so hurt, I felt humiliating.
I thought they would only joke like that if something had happened between Annie and James. I decided to change my flight and go back home. 10 minutes before the cab was supposed to come, I woke him up and told him that I was leaving. He got angry, I showed him what I saw on his phone and him messaging Donna was just too much for me. He tried to stop me from leaving but I managed to get in the cab and left. My flight was booked and I was due to leave the next day, I booked a room at a hotel. James kept calling me and came to the airport, we talked and I decided to stay 3 more days to try to fix things. We ended up talking and fixing things. Instead of me staying 1 month (or one and a half) like I originally planned to, I stayed a week, i think. But we were only okay for a while. When I came back home my head was a mess. I did not feel good about my relationship with James.
I decided to once again pretend to be someone else. I texted him from a foreign number and pretended to be Donna, I asked him if he really loved, why did he pick me over her, if he still had feelings for Donna, basically trying to see if he regretted being with me and to see if he still thought of her. He told "Donna" that he would tell her everything that she wanted to know if they could meet up. Then he said that he was driving to her place. I did not want that to happen so i revealed it was me. He said he knew it was me all along and was giving me a taste of my own medicine since I like to play stupid games. He was now sure it was me the first time as well. I tried to deny it but ended up admitting. He asked me why I always try to sabotage our relationship by doing stuff like that. I told him not to come visit me. He had bought a plane ticket to spend the holidays with me. We made up again, but things were no longer like before.
He came to visit me but it was bad, we tried to make the most out of it but it was not like before. The spark was no longer there, I did not trust him, he did not trust me. We argued a lot while he came to visit me. One day, I was so upset, I left the house for the whole day and went to the bar at night (I do not really drink, a couple of times a year, but I was just so overwhelmed). I got drunk, we argued more, I threw stuff and tried to hit him. The neighbor called the police. I was so so so ashamed. I felt humiliated by my behavior and everything happening.
Two weeks after he left, we decided to end things, the break up was respectful. We both admitted our wrongs and apologize to the other. I told him that I would prefer to cut contact, he said he did not mind keeping in touch but I felt like it was best for me to cut contact for a while. I ended up texting him after 4-5 days, I asked him if we hated each other he said that he did not hate me, that he cares about me. I told him so do I. We were both trying to deal with the break up. We ended up talking every day for a month, we were not back together, we were just being there for the other.
Yesterday, he was not feeling well, he was thinking about the whole situation, and just feeling miserable. I cared about him and did not want to see him like this. I tried my best to cheer him up, kept texting him the whole day while I was at work. He was saying that he kept messing things up, that he keeps ruining his friendships and relationships. He said that I no longer worry a lot about him and that he felt like I no longer wanted to talk to him. When I feel like he does not talk a lot, I do the same, I pull out and become a bit cold but always say that I am okay (obviously I have communication issues). I told him that I felt like the way we were talking to each other felt like we were keeping each other company and that we were probably over the break up (I was not but I guess I was pretending to be over).
When he mentioned that he ruined some of his friendships, I asked him if he was referring to Donna. He started saying he would never again have the connection he had with both of us, Donna and I, and how Donna and I no longer worry about him. The way he was speaking about her made me feel like what I thought we had, a special connection, was not so special because he felt the same about her. That we were at the same level. James made me feel like I was the best thing that happened to him, he said many times, and according to him, the type of connection we had, he never had it with anyone else. But at the same time, I felt like I was competing with Donna.
The way that he was speaking of her made me feel like he wanted to try again with Donna, I wanted him to admit it, so I told him I had made my peace and that maybe she was the one that got away, maybe she was not over him and that with time things could work out between him and her. Sometimes, I truly feel like I would have been okay with them dating again, but what hurt me is that I feel like he made me waste time, energy and money (I spent a lot of money to be with him, he did not help pay for my tickets, the last time that I went to visit him, I asked him to help me pay the ticket, at least half of it, he said he would sent me money before I come, then said he would give me to me when I am there, because he did not work, I ended up telling him to just forget it since I knew he did not have a lot of money).
He then told me that the first time I texted him from a foreign number I led him to believe that it was Donna (I just pretended to be a random girl but I can understand why he thought it was Donna) and because of that he stopped trusting her and the fact that I did that worsen the situation between the two and broke their friendship. He thought that she was a liar but she was not. He also said that before I pretended to be someone else, he trusted me 100% but now he no longer knew what was real or fake because of what I did. So I caused him pain and hurt for nothing.
He finally admitted that he would want a friendship with Donna again or more, and see where things could go between them. He said he was not thinking about her while we were together and he only started thinking about her again when he found out I was the one pretending to be someone else. He said that before coming to visit, he knew I was gonna do something to mess things up. I told him that in his eyes she can't do no wrong and that his feelings for her were always there, they just resurfaced and that he always had something for her even when we were together.
I feel stupid and hurt. I know some of my actions, pretending to be someone else and going through his phone, were wrong and immature. I understand that what I did would cause him to lose trust in me. Trust me, I am ashamed of it. I feel like we both manipulated the other.
What are your opinions on our relationship? Did I overreact a lot? Were my reactions to some of the situations over the top? Am I responsible for our relationship not working? Do you guys think that even during our relationship he still had feelings for her?
I do not hate Donna, I do not think she is a bad person, I just thought that she was not over him and was not comfortable with that.
I do not trust Jennifer and Annie because I feel like they only used James when they need him.
Thanks. View Poll
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2023.03.29 04:38 sneakyveriniki Hangover?
Does anyone else get killer hangovers on Wellbutrin?
I just started Wellbutrin a little over six weeks ago. I was on it for depression & ADHD (I’m very new to psychiatry, this is the first meds I’ve been on and I was only just barely diagnosed). I’ve so far had pretty positive results. I definitely experienced the “honeymoon” phase that I’ve seen a few people on here discuss; I felt pretty amazing for a week or so. It’s worn off, but overall I do feel a bit more balanced and just a lot less frustrated/impatient/anxious.
I’ve noticed that it has affected my drinking habits DRAMATICALLY. I didn’t expect this, I had no idea it affected the experience of drinking.
I’ve always had quite a drinking problem. I started binge drinking on the weekends in college and pretty much just never stopped, despite having graduated with my bachelor’s 7 years ago.
I’ve never been a huge fan of substances/drugs in general, as hard to believe as that may be. I just don’t like feeling altered/intoxicated. But alcohol, for whatever reason, has always been the exception to me. It has nothi to do with legality or whatever, I just really, really like the effects.
My body just reacts to alcohol very… enthusiastically, I guess lol. Normally, I feel a huge rush of dopamine or endorphins or whatever when I drink, like it’s overwhelming, and I just feel better and better the more I drink. I don’t really drink during the week much unless I’m at a fancy dinner or something- I wait until after work in fridays and get plastered tbh. It’s not a good look, especially because I’m nearing 30 at this point.
I minored in anthropology and remember a professor saying that about 8% of the world’s population has a gene that makes them just physically metabolize alcohol in a way that makes it feel way better than it does to others, and that it makes people susceptible to binge drinking. He said that it’s strongly correlated with ethnicity, and that it was most common in Northern Europe, especially Scandinavia and northwestern Russia, where over half of the population supposedly has it, and that less than 1% of certain populations in Asia do.
I’m American and was raised Mormon with absolutely NO booze around, didn’t discover it until high school. But my genetics are almost fully Scandinavian lol, so I guess this checks out. Of course this doesn’t mean drinking is fully predicted by genes or ethnicity Lmfao but my point is that my body/brain chemistry seem to just be wired to respond to booze in a certain way that Wellbutrin has disrupted.
I have always had an unusually high alcohol tolerance, at least physically. Im a 115 lbs woman and can literally drink an entire fifth of vodka and not feel sick at ALL while drinking and have barely a hangover the next day. It’s always been this way for me.
I’m currently living with a relative that doesn’t drink at all (they’re Mormon, they don’t even use cooking wine). But I have drank on a couple of occasions these past 6 weeks.
Now when I drink, it’s like that rush is just gone. I feel a bit more relaxed and chill, but I don’t feel this huge kick of excitement that I usually do. I think this is how a lot of people actually experience booze lol.
The first time I drank while being on Wellbutrin, I was at a friend’s house and we were just watching Netflix and drinking beer. I realized that, after being there for three hours, I was only on my second beer. This is NOT typical for me lol.
And after my 2nd, I just… didn’t want any more? I love the taste of this particular beer, so I was just sipping it, but i did not feel that urge to drink more. I’m normally the type to take shots of whatever contains booze because I just like the effects, but I didn’t feel that way this time. Also, I want to clarify that normally I am still a booze fiend even when perfectly happy, so this is not just bc of my mood being stabilized.
While drinking, I also felt… a little off, physically. Tired, I guess. Just meh.
Last night, I was at a party and had five pints of beer in a fairly short amount of time (2 hours maybe). That’s the most I’ve drank on this medication. I could feel that I was slightly buzzed, but rather than feeling high and euphoric, I felt slowed down. I didn’t feel awful, but I just didn’t feel like drinking more. This is… this is so foreign to be, I can’t even explain lol.
I woke up this morning, hungover!! I have never gotten a hangover from that little booze. Ever. It wasn’t awful, I wasn’t vomiting or anything. But I went on a hike this morning and I felt pretty shitty.
This is all great news for me, I’m just cutting out booze probably completely. But I just had to see if anyone else has experienced this. It’s very, very odd and not something I ever would have anticipated.
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2023.03.29 03:13 wtfwafflezor (Selling) 800 Titles Wonder Woman 1984 (2020) (MA/4K) $3 Godzilla (2014) (MA/4K) $3
Prices FIRM - CashApp/Venmo/PayPal Friends & Family
Disney/Marvel titles are split codes. Only redeem what you pay for. Thank you.
1917 (2019) (MA/4K) $6 (MA/HD) $3.50
2 Guns (2013) (MA/HD) $4.75 (iTunes/HD) $3.50
21 Bridges (2019) (iTunes/4K) $3
22 Jump Street (2014) (MA/HD) $4.75 (MA/SD) $1.75
3 From Hell (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $3.50
3:10 to Yuma (2007) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
31 (2016) (Vudu/HD) $2.75
47 Meters Down (2017) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.50
47 Meters Down: Uncaged (2019) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $4.75
8 Mile (2002) (MA/4K) $3.25
A Bad Moms Christmas (2017) (iTunes/4K) $3
A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood (2019) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $5.75
A Clockwork Orange (1972) (MA/4K) $5
A Cure for Wellness (2017) (MA/HD) $4.25
A Dog's Purpose (2017) (MA/HD) $4 (iTunes/HD) $3
A Dog's Way Home (2019) (MA/HD) $3.75
A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $4.25
A Monster Calls (2016) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.50
A Most Wanted Man (2014) (Vudu/HD) $3.75
A Quiet Place (2018) (Vudu/4K) $4.50 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $1.50
A Simple Favor (2018) (Vudu/4K) $5 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.25
A Single Man (2009) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Abominable (2019) (MA/HD) $6.25
About Time (2013) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.50
Addams Family (1991) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.75
Addams Family 2 (2021) (iTunes/4K) $5.50
Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad (1949) (MA/HD) $5.75 (GP/HD) $4.25
Adventures of Tintin (2011) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.50
After Earth (2013) (MA/HD) $2.50
Age of Adaline (2015) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.75
Aladdin (1992) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $3.25 (GP/HD) $2.25
Aladdin (2019) (MA/4K) $6.25 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $4.25 (GP/HD) $1.50
Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day (2014) (MA/HD) $4.75
Alice Through the Looking Glass (2016) (MA/HD) $5.75 (GP/HD) $4.25
Alien (1979) (MA/4K) $7.25 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $5.25
Alien 3 (1992) (MA/HD) $5.75
Alien Collection 1-6 (MA/HD) $19 1-4 (MA/SD) $9
Alien Resurrection (1997) (MA/HD) $5.75
Alien: Covenant (2017) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $2.50
Aliens (1986) (MA/HD) $5.75
Aliens Ate My Homework (2018) (MA/HD) $4.75
Alita: Battle Angel (2019) (MA/4K) $5.50 (MA/HD) $4.25
All The Money In The World (2017) (MA/HD) $4.50 (MA/SD) $1
Allied (2016) (iTunes/4K) $4.50 (Vudu/HD) $4
Almost Christmas (2016) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $6.25
Almost Famous (2000) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.25
Aloha (2015) (MA/HD) $2.75
Alpha (2018) (MA/HD) $4.25
Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip (2015) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.75
Amazing Spider-Man (2012) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $4.75
Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $5.75
American Gangster (Extended Edition) (2007) (MA/4K) $7.25 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $6.25
American Psycho (Uncut) (2000) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5
Amy (2015) (Vudu/HD) $6
Anastasia (1997) (MA/HD) $6.25
Angry Birds Movie (2016) (MA/HD) $3.75
Anna (2019) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $4.50
Annihilation (2018) (Vudu/HD) $2.50 (iTunes/4K) $2
Antlers (2021) (MA/HD) $4.75
Apollo 11 (2019) (MA/HD) $6.25
Aqua Teen Forever: Plantasm (2022) (MA/HD) $5
Arctic (2019) (MA/HD) $5.75
Art of Self-Defense (2019) (MA/HD) $6.25
Artist, The (2011) (MA/HD) $6
ATL (2006) (MA/HD) $5
Avengers (2012) (MA/4K) $7.75 (iTunes/4K) $6.75 (GP/HD) $3.75
Avengers 1-4 (iTunes/4K) $19 (GP/HD) $7.75
Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015) (MA/4K) $7.75 (iTunes/4K) $6 (GP/HD) $1.75
Avengers: Endgame (2019) (MA/4K) $4.75 (iTunes/4K) $3.75 (GP/HD) $1
Avengers: Infinity War (2018) (MA/4K) $5.50 (iTunes/4K) $3.75 (GP/HD) $1
Baby Driver (2017) (MA/HD) $4
Back to the Future (1985) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $4.25
Back to the Future 3-Movie (MA/4K) $12.50 (MA/HD) $7
Bad Boys 1-3 (MA/HD) $12
Bad Guys, The (2022) (MA/4K) $8.25 (MA/HD) $4.50
Bad Lieutenant (1992) (Vudu/HD) $4.75
Bad Moms (2016) (MA/HD) $3.50 (iTunes/HD) $2.75
Bambi (1942) (MA/HD) $6.25 (GP/HD) $4.50
Band of Brothers (2001) (iTunes/HD) $7 (GP/HD) $3.50
Bank Job, The (2008) (Vudu/HD) $3.25
Basic Instinct (Unrated Director’s Cut) (1992) (Vudu/HD) $6.25
Batman and Superman: Battle of the Super Sons (2022) (MA/HD) $5
Batman Returns (1992) (MA/4K) $5
Batman Year One (2011) (MA/4K) $5
Batman, The (2022) (MA/4K) $5.50 (MA/HD) $3
Batman: The Complete Series (2004) (Vudu/HD) $12.50
Batman: The Long Halloween Deluxe Edition (2022) (MA/HD) $6
Beauty and the Beast (1991) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $5 (GP/HD) $2.25
Beauty and the Beast (2017) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $3.50 (GP/HD) $2.25
Beguiled, The (2017) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4
Beirut (2018) (MA/HD) $5.25
Belly (1998) (Vudu/4K) $5.25
Ben-Hur (2016) (Vudu/HD) $2.50
BFG, The (2016) (MA/HD) $5.75 (GP/HD) $4
Big (1988) (MA/HD) $6
Big Hero 6 (2014) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $4.75 (GP/HD) $1.75
Big Wedding (2013) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.75
Billy Elliot (2000) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.25
Birth of A Nation (2016) (MA/HD) $4
Birth of the Dragon (2017) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.25
Black Adam (2022) (MA/HD) $4.25
Black Mass (2015) (MA/HD) $2.50
Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $3.75 (GP/HD) $2.50
Blacklight (2022) (MA/HD) $4.50
Bleed for This (2016) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4
Blood Father (2016) (Vudu/HD) $4
Bloodshot (2020) (MA/HD) $4
Blue Mountain State: The Rise of Thadland (2016) (Vudu/HD) $5.25
Blues Brothers (1980) (iTunes/4K) Ports to MA $6
Blumhouse's Truth Or Dare (Unrated) (2018) (MA/HD) $4.75
Bodyguard, The (1992) (MA/HD) $5
Book Club (2018) (Vudu/HD) $2 (iTunes/4K) $1
Book of Henry (2017) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5
Book of Life (2014) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.50
Book Thief, The (2013) (MA/HD) $5.75
Boss, The (Unrated) (2016) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $2.75
Bourne Collection 1-5 (MA/4K) $25 (iTunes/4K) $18 (MA/HD) $13
Bourne Identity (2002) (MA/4K) $5.50 (iTunes/4K) $4.50 (MA/HD) $3
Bourne Legacy (2012) (MA/4K) $5.50 (iTunes/4K) $4.50 (MA/HD) $3
Bourne Supremacy (2004) (MA/4K) $5.50 (iTunes/4K) $4.50 (MA/HD) $3
Bourne Ultimatum (2007) (MA/4K) $5.75 (iTunes/4K) $5.50 (MA/HD) $4
Boxtrolls, The (2014) (iTunes/HD) $4.75
Boy Next Door, The (2015) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $5.25
Boy, The (2016) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.75
Brahms: The Boy II (2020) (iTunes/4K) $2.75
Brave (2012) (iTunes/4K) $6.50 (GP/HD) $4.50
Braven (2018) (Vudu/HD) $3.50
Breakfast Club (1985) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.25
Breakfast Club (1985), Weird Science (2008), Sixteen Candles (1984) (MA/HD) $11
Break-Up, The (2006) (MA/HD) $3.25
Bridge of Spies (2015) (MA/HD) $5.50 (GP/HD) $4
Bridget Jones's Diary (2001) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.25
Bring It On (2000) (MA/HD) $3.25
Bring It On: Worldwide #Cheersmack (2017) (MA/HD) $3.25 (iTunes/HD) $1.25
Broken City (2013) (MA/HD) $3.50 (iTunes/SD) $1.25
Bros (2022) (MA/HD) $6.75
Buffy, the Vampire Slayer (1992) (MA/HD) $5.75
Bullet to the Head (2013) (MA/HD) $3.25
Butterfly Effect, The (2004) (MA/HD) $3.50
Buttons: A Christmas Tale (2018) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.50
Bye Bye Man (Unrated) (2017) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $2.50
Cabin in the Woods (2012) (iTunes/4K) $2.75 (Vudu/HD) $2
Cantinflas (2014) (Vudu/HD) $5
Captain America: Winter Soldier (2014) (MA/4K) $7.50 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $6 (GP/HD) $2.25
Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie (2017) (MA/HD) $3.25
Case for Christ, The (2017) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.50
Casper (1995) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $3.75
Castle Rock: Season 1 (2018) (Vudu/HD) $7.25
Cat in the Hat (2003) (MA/HD) $3.25
Catch Me If You Can (2002) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $6.25
Catwoman: Hunted (2021) (MA/HD) $3.50
Central Intelligence (2016) (MA/4K) $5
Change-Up, The (2011) (Unrated) (2011) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $5.75
Chappie (2015) (MA/HD) $3.75
Charlie St. Cloud (2010) (MA/HD) $3.25
Chasing Mavericks (2012) (MA/HD) $5
Chicago (2002) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.25
Child's Play (2019) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $6.50
Chronicle (2012) (MA/HD) $4.50
Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (2010) (MA/HD) $7
Cinderella (2015) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $5.50 (GP/HD) $2.50
Cinderella II: Dreams Come True (2002) (MA/HD) $6.50 (GP/HD) $5
Cinderella III: A Twist in Time (2007) (MA/HD) $6.50 (GP/HD) $5
City of Lies (2018) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.75
Clerks III (2022) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.50
Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2 (2013) (MA/HD) $3.50 (MA/SD) $2.25
Clown (2014) (Vudu/HD) $6.50
Clueless (1995) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.25
Coal Miner's Daughter (1980) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $6.25
Colombiana (Unrated) (2011) (MA/HD) $4.50
Colossal (2017) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $5.50
Constantine: The House of Mystery (2022) (MA/HD) $3.25
Contraband (2012) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $2.25
Contractor (2022) (Vudu/4K) $7.50 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.75
Counselor, The (2013) (MA/HD) $3
Countdown (2019) (iTunes/4K) $3.75
Cowboys and Aliens (2011) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $2.50
Crash (2004) (Vudu/HD) $5.25
Crawl (2019) (Vudu/HD) $3 (iTunes/4K) $2
Croods (2013) & A New Age (2020) (MA/HD) $7
Croods (2013) (MA/HD) $3.50
Croods: A New Age (2020) (MA/HD) $5.25
Cult of Chucky (Unrated) (2017) (MA/HD) $3.75 (iTunes/HD) $2.50
Daddy's Home 1-2 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5
Daddy's Home 2 (2017) (Vudu/4K) $4.50 (iTunes/4K) $2 (Vudu/HD) $2.25
Dances With Wolves (1990) (Vudu/HD) $6
Daniel Craig Collection 5-Movie (Vudu/4K) $19
Dark Knight (2008) (MA/HD) $5
Dark Tower (2017) (MA/HD) $3
Darkest Minds, The (2018) (MA/HD) $4.75
Dawn of The Planet of The Apes (2014) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $4
DC League of Super-Pets (2022) (MA/HD) $5
Dead Man Down (2013) (MA/HD) $4.75
Deadpool (2016) (MA/4K) $6.50 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $2
Dear Evan Hansen (2021) (MA/HD) $4.25
Death on the Nile (2022) (MA/4K) $7.25 (MA/HD) $5.25 (GP/HD) $3.50
Deepwater Horizon (2016) (Vudu/4K) $5 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $2.50
Den of Thieves (2018) (iTunes/HD) $1.75
Dentist 1-2 Collection (1996-1998) (Vudu/HD) $6
Descent, The (2005) (Vudu/HD) $5.25
Detective Knight Collection 1-3 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $13 $5.50 Each
Devil Inside (2012) (Vudu/HD) $3.75
Devil's Due (2014) (MA/HD) $2.75
Diary of a Wimpy Kid (2010) (MA/HD) $4.75
Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul (2017) (MA/HD) $2
Die Hard (1988) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $4
Die Hard 1-5 (MA/HD) $15
Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022) (MA/4K) $6 (MA/HD) $2.75 (GP/HD) $2
Dog (2022) (Vudu/HD) $3.50
Don't Breathe (2016) (MA/HD) $5.50
Don't Let Go (2019) (MA/HD) $4
Don't Tell a Soul (2021) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5
Don't Worry Darling (2022) (MA/HD) $5.50
Doors (1991) (Vudu/4K) $4 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.75
Dope (2015) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $5.75
Dora and the Lost City of Gold (2019) (Vudu/HD) $5.25 (iTunes/4K) $4.25
Downsizing (2017) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $1.25
Downton Abbey (2019) (MA/HD) $5.75
Downton Abbey: A New Era (2022) (MA/HD) $4.25
Dr. Seuss' The Lorax (2012) (MA/HD) $3.50 (iTunes/HD) $2.25
Draft Day (2014) (Vudu/HD) $3.25 (iTunes/HD) $2.75
Dragged Across Concrete (2019) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.25
Dragonheart 5-Movie (MA/HD) $14
Drugstore Cowboy (1989) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Duff, The (2015) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.75
Dumbo (2019) (MA/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) $5.25 (GP/HD) $2.50
Dune (2021) (MA/4K) $5 (MA/HD) $2
Earth Girls Are Easy (1988) (Vudu/HD) $5.75
Easter Sunday (2022) (MA/HD) $6.75
Edge of Seventeen (2016) (MA/HD) $3.50 (iTunes/HD) $2.25
El Chicano (2019) (MA/HD) $5
Elvis (2022) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $4.50
Emoji Movie (2017) (MA/HD) $2
Emperor's New Groove (2000) (GP/HD) $5.50
Empire Records (1995) (MA/HD) $6
Empire State (2013) (Vudu/HD) $5
End of Watch (2012) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $5
Ender's Game (2013) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.25
English Patient (1996) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.75
Epic (2013) (MA/HD) $1.75 (iTunes/SD) $1.25
Escape from Planet Earth (2013) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Escape Plan: The Extractors (2019) (Vudu/HD) $3.75
Ever After: A Cinderella Story (1998) (MA/HD) $5.25
Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022) (Vudu/4K) $7.75
Exodus: Gods and Kings (2014) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $3
Expendables 1-3 (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Extreme Prejudice (1987) (Vudu/HD) $5.25
Fabelmans (2022) (MA/HD) $6.75
Fantastic Beasts Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $8.50
Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore (2022) (MA/4K) $5.50 (MA/HD) $3
Fantastic Four (2015) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $4.50
Fast & Furious Collection 1-8 (MA/4K) $26 1-9 (MA/HD) $10
Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $6
Father Stu (2022) (MA/HD) $5.75
Fault in Our Stars (2014) (MA/HD) $1.75
Fences (2016) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $1.75
Ferdinand (2017) (MA/HD) $3.50
Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $6
Fifty Shades of Black (2016) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $3.50
Fifty Shades of Grey 3-Movie + Unrated (MA/HD) $10
Fighter, The (2010) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.25
Fighting with My Family (2019) (iTunes/HD) $3.25
Finest Hours, The (2016) (MA/HD) $6.50 (GP/HD) $4
First Cow (2019) (Vudu/HD) $6.50
First Man (2018) (MA/HD) $4.25
First Reformed (2018) (Vudu/HD) $5.25
Flight (2012) (Vudu/HD) $3.75 (iTunes/HD) $3
Footloose (2011) (Vudu/HD) $5 (iTunes/HD) $3.50
Founder, The (2017) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Frank & Lola (2016) (MA/HD) $4.75
Frozen (2013) (MA/4K) $5.75 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $3.75 (GP/HD) $1.75
Frozen 2 (2019) (MA/4K) $4.75 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $4 (GP/HD) $1.75
Frozen Sing-Along Edition (2014) (MA/HD) $3.75 (GP/HD) $1.75
Future World (2018) (Vudu/HD) $4
G.I. Joe: Retaliation (2013) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.75
Gambler (2014) (Vudu/HD) $3.50 (iTunes/HD) $2.75
Game Night (2018) (MA/4K) $5
Gate, The (1987) (Vudu/SD) $4.50
Get Him to the Greek (Unrated) (2010) (MA/HD) $3.25
Get on Up (2014) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $4.50
Get Out (2017) (MA/4K) $7 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $3.75
Ghost In The Shell (2017) (Vudu/HD) $2 (iTunes/4K) $2.75
Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2012) (MA/HD) $6.75
Ghostbusters (1984) (MA/HD) $3.50
Ghostbusters + Extended (2016) (MA/HD) $3
Ghostbusters II (1989) (MA/HD) $3.50
Girl In The Spider's Web (2018) (MA/HD) $4.50
Girl on the Train (2016) (iTunes/4K) $2.25 (MA/HD) $2.50
Girls Trip (2017) (MA/HD) $1.50 (iTunes/HD) $1
Glass (2019) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $4.50
Godfather Trilogy (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $13
Godfather, The (1972) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.75
Gods of Egypt (2016) (Vudu/4K) $5.25 (Vudu/HD) $2 (iTunes/4K) $1.50
Godzilla (1998) (MA/4K) $8
Godzilla (2014) (MA/4K) $3
Gold (2016) (Vudu/HD) $1.75
Gone Baby Gone (2007) (Vudu/HD) $5
Gone Girl (2014) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $5.75
Good Dinosaur (2015) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $5.75 (GP/HD) $3.25
Goosebumps (2015) (MA/HD) $5.25
Grease (1978), 2 (1982), Live! (2016) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $13
Great Wall (2016) (MA/HD) $2.50
Greatest Showman (2017) (MA/HD) $2.25
Green Book (2018) (MA/4K) $7.50 (MA/HD) $5
Green Lantern: Beware My Power (2022) (MA/HD) $3.50
Green Mile, The (1999) (MA/4K) $6
Grumpy Old Men (1993) (MA/HD) $6.25
Hail, Caesar! (2016) (MA/HD) $3.75 (iTunes/HD) $2.25
Halloween Ends (2022) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $4.75
Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998), The Curse of Michael Myers (1995), Resurrection (2002) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $10
Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.50
Happy Death Day (2017) (MA/HD) $5.50
Happy Death Day 2U (2019) (MA/HD) $5.25
Happy Feet (2006) (MA/HD) $4
Hard Candy (2005) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Harriet (2019) (MA/HD) $4.25
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009) (MA/HD) $3.50
Hateful Eight (2015) (Vudu/HD) $2
Haunting in Connecticut (2009) (Vudu/HD) $6.50
Heat, The (2013) (MA/HD) $2.25 (iTunes/SD) $1
Heat: Director's Definitive Edition (1995) (MA/4K) $6.25 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $5.25
Hell or High Water (2016) (Vudu/4K) $5.50 (Vudu/HD) $2.25 (iTunes/4K) $3.75
Hercules (1997) (MA/HD) $6.50 (GP/HD) $5
Hereditary (2018) (Vudu/HD) $3.75
Home (2015) (MA/HD) $2
Home Alone (1990) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $4
Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992) (MA/HD) $3.50
Hop (2011) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $2.25
Hot Fuzz (2007) (MA/HD) $3.50 (iTunes/4K) $4
Hotel Transylvania (2012) (MA/HD) $6.25 (MA/SD) $2.50
Hotel Transylvania 2 (2015) (MA/HD) $6.75
Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation (2018) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $4.50
House of 1,000 Corpses (2003), Devil's Rejects (2005), 3 From Hell (2019) (Vudu/HD) $6
House of 1000 Corpses (2003) (Vudu/HD) $4.75
House of the Dragon: Season 1 (2022) (Vudu/4K) $9 (Vudu/HD) $5
How to Train Your Dragon (2010) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $4
How to Train Your Dragon Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $7
How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World (2019) (MA/4K) $6 (MA/HD) $4.25
Hugo (2011) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4
Hunger Games Collection 1-4 (Vudu/HD) $6 (iTunes/4K) $12
Hunt, The (2019) (MA/HD) $6
Huntsman: Winter's War - Extended Edition (2016) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $3
Hurricane Heist (2018) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.25
Hurt Locker (2008) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.25
I Can Only Imagine (2018) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.50
I See You (2019) (Vudu/HD) $4.50 (iTunes/HD) $2.50
Ice Age (2002) (MA/HD) $5
Ice Age: Collision Course (2016) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $4.25
Ice Age: Continental Drift (2012) (MA/HD) $4.50
Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs (2009) (MA/HD) $5.25
Ice Age: The Meltdown (2006) (MA/HD) $6
Ides of March (2011) (MA/HD) $5.25
I'm Not There (2007) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
In the Heights (2021) (MA/4K) $5 (MA/HD) $2.25
Independence Day (1996) (MA/4K) $7.75 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $5.50
Indiana Jones 1-4 (Vudu/4K) $24 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $19
Inferno (2016) (MA/HD) $3.50
Ingrid Goes West (2017) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $5.50
Insidious: Chapter 2 (2013) (MA/HD) $5.25
Insidious: Chapter 3 (2015) (MA/HD) $6.50
Insidious: The Last Key (2018) (MA/HD) $3.25
Instant Family (2018) (Vudu/HD) $2 (iTunes/4K) $1.50
Instructions Not Included (2013) (Vudu/HD) $3.75
Insurgent (2015) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $4.25 (Vudu/HD) $3.50
Internship (2013) (MA/HD) $3.25
Interview, The (2014) (MA/HD) $3.50
Into the Woods (2014) (MA/HD) $4 (GP/HD) $2.25
Invitation, The + Unrated (2022) (MA/HD) $6.50
Iron Man (2008) (MA/4K) $7.25 (iTunes/4K) $7 (GP/HD) $3
Iron Man 1-3 (MA/4K) $20 (iTunes/4K) $15 (GP/HD) $7
Iron Man 2 (2010) (MA/4K) $7.25 (iTunes/4K) $6.50 (GP/HD) $3
Iron Man 3 (2013) (MA/4K) $7.25 (iTunes/4K) $3.25 (MA/HD) $2.75 (GP/HD) $2
Iron Man and Hulk: Heroes United (2013) (MA/HD) $5.50
Isle of Dogs (2018) (MA/HD) $4.75
It Comes at Night (2017) (Vudu/HD) $6.25
It Follows (2015) (Vudu/HD) $4.75
Jack and Jill (2011) (MA/HD) $3
Jack Frost (1998) (MA/HD) $5
Jack Reacher Collection 1-2 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $7
Jack Reacher: Never Go Back (2016) (Vudu/4K) $5.75 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $2.75
Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit (2014) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.25
Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa (2013) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3
Jane Got a Gun (2016) (Vudu/HD) $5.75
Jaws (1975) Jaws 2 (1978) Jaws 3 (1983) Jaws: The Revenge (1987) (MA/HD) $15
Jexi (2019) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $3.50
Jigsaw (2017) (Vudu/4K) $5.25 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $2
Jingle All the Way (1996) (MA/HD) $5
JOBS (2013) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.75
John Wick Collection 1-3 (Vudu/4K) $15 (iTunes/4K) $13 (Vudu/HD) $7
Jojo Rabbit (2019) (MA/HD) $7
Joseph: King of Dreams (2000) (MA/HD) $5.50
Jumanji: Next Level (2019) & Welcome to the Jungle (2017) (MA/HD) $7.50
Jumanji: The Next Level (2019) (MA/4K) $7.75 (MA/HD) $5.50
Jungle Book (2016) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $5.25 (GP/HD) $2.75
Jungle Book 2 (2003) (MA/HD) $6.50
Jurassic Park III (2001) (MA/4K) $6.50 (iTunes/4K) $3.75 (MA/HD) $3.50
Jurassic Park: The Lost World (1997) (MA/4K) $6.50 (iTunes/4K) $3.75 (MA/HD) $3
Jurassic World Collection 1-5 (MA/4K) $19 (iTunes/4K) $17 (MA/HD) $10
Jurassic World Collection 1-6 (MA/4K) $23 (MA/HD) $11
Jurassic World: Dominion + Extended Cut (2022) (MA/4K) $7.25 (MA/HD) $4.50
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018) (MA/4K) $5.75 (MA/HD) $1.75
Kicks (2016) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $5
Kidnap (2017) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.25
Kill the Messenger (2014) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $5
Killer Joe (Director's Cut) (2012) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Killing Kennedy (2013) (MA/HD) $6.50
Killing Them Softly (2012) (Vudu/HD) $2.75
King Richard (2021) (MA/HD) $2
Kitchen, The (2019) (MA/HD) $2.50
Knight and Day (2010) (MA/HD) $6.50
Knives Out (2019) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.25
Kung Fu Panda Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $12
La La Land (2016) (Vudu/HD) $2.25 (iTunes/4K) $3.75
Last Christmas (2019) (MA/HD) $6.50
Last Witch Hunter (2015) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $1.50
Last Word (2017) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $5
Lawless (2012) (Vudu/HD) $3.75
Lawrence of Arabia (Restored Version) (1962) (MA/HD) $5
Lee Daniels' The Butler (2013) (Vudu/HD) $2.25
Leprechaun Returns (2018) (Vudu/HD) $2.75
Les Miserables (2012) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.75
Let's Be Cops (2014) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $2.75
Liar Liar (1997) (MA/HD) $3.25
Life (2017) (MA/HD) $2.50
Light of My Life (2019) (Vudu/HD) $2.50 (iTunes/HD) $2
Lightyear (2022) (MA/4K) $5.25 (MA/HD) $2.75 (GP/HD) $2
Lilo & Stitch (2002) & Stitch Has a Glitch (2005) (MA/HD) $11 (GP/HD) $6.50
Lilo & Stitch (2002) (MA/HD) $6.25 (GP/HD) $4
Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has a Glitch (2005) (MA/HD) $5.25 (GP/HD) $3
Limey, The (1999) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5
Lincoln Lawyer (2011) (Vudu/4K) $5 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.75
Lion (2016) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Lion King (1994) (MA/4K) $7 (iTunes/4K) $4.50 (GP/HD) $2.75
Lion King (2019) (MA/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) $4 (GP/HD) $1.25
Lion King 1 1/2 (2004) (MA/HD) $6.50
Little Fockers (2010) (MA/HD) $5
Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea (2000) (MA/HD) $6.75
Little Mermaid III: Ariel’s Beginning (2008) (MA/HD) $6.75
Little Women (2019) (MA/HD) $4.25
Live Die Repeat: Edge of Tomorrow (2014) (MA/4K) $5
Lodge, The (2019) (MA/HD) $5.75
Lone Ranger (2013) (MA/HD) $4.75 (GP/HD) $2.50
Lone Survivor (2013) (iTunes/4K) $2 (MA/HD) $1.50
Long Shot (2019) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4
Lord of War (2005) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5
Lords of Salem, The (2012) (Vudu/HD) $4.75
Lost Boys, The (1987) (MA/4K) $5 (MA/HD) $3.50
Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile (2022) (MA/HD) $6
Ma (2019) (MA/HD) $5.25
Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior (1982) (MA/4K) $5
Mad Max 3: Beyond Thunderdome (1985) (MA/4K) $5
Mad Max Collection 1-4 (Vudu/4K) $19
Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted (2012) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2
Mallrats (1995) (MA/HD) $3.25
Mama (2013) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $3.75
Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again (2018) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $1.75
Mamma Mia! The Movie (2008) & Here We Go Again (2018) (MA/HD) $6.50 $4.50 Each
Man On Fire (2004) (MA/HD) $6.50
Man Who Invented Christmas (2017) (MA/HD) $6.25
Many Saints of Newark (2021) (MA/HD) $2.25
Margin Call (2011) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $6.25
Marshall (2017) (MA/HD) $4.75
Martian (Theatrical) (2015) (MA/4K) $7.25 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $3.25
Mary Poppins (1964) (MA/HD) $4.50 (GP/HD) $3
Mary Queen of Scots (2018) (MA/HD) $5.75
Matrix (1999), Reloaded (2003), Revolutions (2003), Resurrections (2021) (MA/HD) $7.50
Matrix: Resurrections (2021) (MA/4K) $5 (MA/HD) $2.25
Maze Runner (2014) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $5.50
Maze Runner: The Death Cure (2018) (MA/HD) $6
Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials (2015) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $6
McFarland, USA (2015) (MA/HD) $6.25 (GP/HD) $4.50
Meet the Parents (2000) (MA/HD) $3.25
Megamind (2010) (MA/HD) $5.50
Men in Black (1997) (MA/HD) $6.75
Men in Black II (2002) (MA/HD) $6.75
Men Who Stare at Goats (2009) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Menace II Society (Director's Cut) (1993) (MA/HD) $5
MIB: International (2019) (MA/4K) $5.75 (MA/HD) $4.75
Mickey, Donald, Goofy: The Three Musketeers (2004) (MA/HD) $6.50
Midsommar (2019) (Vudu/HD) $5.75
Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates (2016) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $4.25
Mile 22 (2018) (iTunes/4K) $1.75
Million Dollar Arm (2014) (MA/HD) $4.25
Minions (2015) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $2.75
Minions: The Rise of Gru (2022) & Minions (2015) (MA/HD) $8.25
Miracles From Heaven (2016) (MA/HD) $4.50
Miss Congeniality (2000) (MA/HD) $6
Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children (2015) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $2
Missing Link (2019) (MA/HD) $4.25
Mission: Impossible Collection 1-6 (Vudu/4K) $24 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $19
Mission: Impossible Fallout (2018) (Vudu/4K) $2.75 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $2.50
Mistress America (2015) (MA/HD) $5
Molly's Game (2018) (iTunes/HD) $2
Moneyball (2011) (MA/HD) $2.75
Monster Trucks (2016) (Vudu/HD) $2
Monster's Ball (2001) (Vudu/HD) $6.25
Monsters, Inc. (2001) (GP/HD) $4
Monuments Men (2014) (MA/HD) $2
Moonlight (2016) (Vudu/HD) $4
Mother! (2017) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.50
Mother's Day (2016) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5
Mountain Between Us (2017) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $1.50
Mr. Peabody & Sherman (2014) (MA/HD) $3.25
Mrs. Doubtfire (1993) (MA/HD) $3.75
Much Ado About Nothing (2013) (Vudu/HD) $4.25
Mud (2013) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.75
Mule, The (2018) (MA/4K) $5
Mummy, The (2017) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $2.75
Muppets Most Wanted (2014) (MA/HD) $6.25 (GP/HD) $4.50
Murder on The Orient Express (2017) (MA/HD) $2.75
My All American (2015) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.25
My Boss's Daughter (2003) (Vudu/HD) $6.25
My Dinner with Herve (2018) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.50 (GP/HD) $3
My Fair Lady (1964) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
My Girl (1991) & 2 (1994) (MA/SD) $6
My Little Pony: The Movie (2017) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.25
Natural, The (1984) (MA/4K) $5
Nebraska (2013) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.25
Neighbors (2014) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $2
Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising (2016) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $3.50
Nerve (2016) (Vudu/HD) $2.50
Never Grow Old (2019) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.50
Night at the Museum 3-Movie (MA/HD) $13 $6 Each (MA/SD) $9
Night Before (2015) (MA/HD) $4.75 (MA/SD) $2
Night Of: Season 1 (2016) (Vudu/HD) $7.25
Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) (GP/HD) Ports to MA $3
Ninth Gate, The (1999) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
No Country For Old Men (2007) (Vudu/HD) $5.50 (iTunes/HD) $6.50
Nocturnal Animals (2016) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $3.25
Non-Stop (2014) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.75
Nope (2022) (MA/4K) $8 (MA/HD) $6.25
Notting Hill (1999) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.25
Nut Job (2014) (MA/HD) $2.50 (iTunes/HD) $1.75
Nut Job 2: Nutty By Nature (2017) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.75
Office Christmas Party (2016) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $2.50
Olaf's Frozen Adventure Plus 6 Disney Tales (2017) (MA/HD) $4.75 (GP/HD) $3.25
Olympus Has Fallen (2013) (MA/HD) $5
On the Basis of Sex (2019) (MA/HD) $4.50
One Direction: This is Us + Extended Fan Edition (2013) (MA/HD) $3.25
Only God Forgives (2013) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Operation Finale (2018) (iTunes/4K) $2.75
Ouija (2014) & Origin of Evil (2016) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $9
Ouija (2014) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.50
Over the Hedge (2006) (MA/HD) $6.25
Pain & Gain (2013) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.25
Paper Towns (2011) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $2.75
ParaNorman (2012) (iTunes/HD) $5
Paterno (2018) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.50 (GP/HD) $3
Patriots Day (2017) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $2.50
Paul (2011) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $4.50
Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015) (MA/HD) $4.25
Peanut Butter Falcon (2019) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.50
Pearl (2022) (Vudu/HD) $6
Peppermint (2018) (iTunes/HD) $1.75
Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (2010) (MA/HD) $6.75
Pet Sematary (2019) (Vudu/4K) $4.50 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $2.50
Peter Rabbit (2018) & 2 (2021) (MA/HD) $10
Peter Rabbit (2018) (MA/4K) $5.75 (MA/HD) $5
Phantom Thread (2017) (MA/HD) $3
Pinocchio (1940) (MA/HD) $5.75 (GP/HD) $4
Pirate Fairy (2014) (MA/HD) $3.25 (GP/HD) $1.75
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017) (MA/HD) $3.25 (GP/HD) $1.75
Pitch Black - Unrated Director's Cut (2000) (MA/HD) $6
Pitch Perfect 2 (2015) (MA/HD) $2.75 (iTunes/4K) $3.75
Pitch Perfect Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $11
Planes (2013) (MA/HD) $2.50 (GP/HD) $1.50
Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1987) (Vudu/HD) $5 (iTunes/HD) $3.75
Planes: Fire & Rescue (2014) (MA/HD) $4 (GP/HD) $2
Planet of the Apes 1-3 (Newer) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $11
Playing For Keeps (2012) (MA/HD) $4.75
Point Break (2015) (MA/HD) $1.75
Poltergeist (1982) (MA/4K) $5
Poms (2019) (iTunes/HD) $2.50
Popeye (1980) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.25
Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping (2016) (MA/HD) $3.25
Post, The (2017) (MA/HD) $2.50
Precious (2009) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $6.25
Predator (1987) (MA/HD) $2.75
Predator (1987), 2 (1990), Predators (2009), Predator (2018) $10
Predator (2018) (MA/4K) $6.25 (MA/HD) $2.50
Pretty in Pink (1986) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.75
Prey for the Devil (2022) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.25
Priceless (2016) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $5
Prince of Egypt (2002) (MA/HD) $5.50
Princess and the Frog (2009) (iTunes/4K) $5.50 (GP/HD) $3.25
Prometheus (2012) (MA/HD) $1.75
Prophecy Collection 1-5 (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $14
Psycho (1960) (MA/HD) (iTunes/4K) $5
Public Enemies (2009) (MA/HD) $6.25 (iTunes/HD) $4.75
Punisher: War Zone (2008) (Vudu/4K) $6
Purge: Election Year (2016) (MA/4K $5.50 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $3
Puss in Boots (2011) (MA/4K) $7
Queen & Slim (2019) (MA/HD) $3.75
Queen of Katwe (2016) (MA/HD) $3.50 (GP/HD) $2.50
R.I.P.D. (2013) (MA/HD) $3.25 (iTunes/HD) $3
Railway Man (2013) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Rambo Collection 1-5 (Vudu/HD) $13
Rambo Last Blood (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $2.75
Rambo: First Blood (1982) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6
Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985) (Vudu/4K) $6.75 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Rampage (2018) (MA/4K) $5
Ready or Not (2019) (MA/HD) $6.50
Rear Window (1954) (MA/4K) $4.75
Red Sparrow (2018) (MA/HD) $4.50
Requiem for a Dream - Director's Cut (2000) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.25
Rescuers Down Under (1990) (MA/HD) $6.50 (GP/HD) $4
Rescuers, The (1977) (MA/HD) $6.50 (GP/HD) $4
Reservoir Dogs (1992) (Vudu/4K) $5 (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5
Richie Rich (1994) (MA/HD) $5
Riddick Collection 1-3 (Unrated) (MA/HD) $13
Ride Along 1-2 (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5
Rings (2017) (Vudu/HD) $2.75 (iTunes/HD) $1.50
Rio 2 (2014) (MA/HD) $2.25
Road to El Dorado (2000) (MA/HD) $5.50
Robin Hood (Animated) (1973) (MA/HD) $3.75 (GP/HD) $2.75
Robots (2005) (MA/HD) $6.75
Rock Dog (2016) (Vudu/HD) $4.25
Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) (MA/HD) $5.25
Room (2015) (Vudu/HD) $5.25
Russell Madness (2015) (MA/HD) $4
Safe (2012) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $1.75
Same Kind of Different as Me (2017) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2
Santa Clause (1994), 2 (2002), 3 (2006) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $10.50 (GP/HD) $6.50
Savages (2012) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $2.25
Saving Mr. Banks (2013) (MA/HD) $4.75 (GP/HD) $2.75
Saw (2004) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.50
Saw Collection 1-7 (Vudu/HD) $10
Scarface (1983) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $5.25
Scary Movie 3 (2003) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4
Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (2019) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $3
Schindler's List (1993) (MA/HD) $5
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (2010) (MA/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.75 (MA/HD) $5.25
Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse (2015) (Vudu/HD) $3.75 (iTunes/HD) $2.75
Scream 5 (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.25
Scream Collection 1-3 (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $13
Scrooged (1988) (iTunes/HD) $3.75
Second Act (2018) (iTunes/HD) $1.50
Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (2015) (MA/HD) $4.50
Secret Headquarters (2022) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $6
Secret Life of Pets 1-2 (MA/HD) $7.50
Secret Life of Pets 2 (2019) (MA/4K) $6.25 (MA/HD) $5
Secret Life of Pets, The (2016) (iTunes/4K) $3.75 (MA/HD) $2.75
Secret Life of Walter Mitty (2013) (MA/HD) $1.75
Secretary (2002) (Vudu/HD) $5
Seeking a Friend for the End of the World (2012) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $4.50
Serenity (2005) (MA/HD) $3.50
Seventh Son (2015) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $1.50
Sex Tape (2014) (MA/HD) $3
Shack (2017) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $1.50
Shallows, The (2016) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD $4.25
Shape of Water (2017) (MA/HD) $3.50
Shaun of the Dead (2004), Hot Fuzz (2007), World's End (2013) (MA/HD) $10
Shaun the Sheep Movie (2015) (Vudu/HD) $4.25
Shawshank Redemption (1994) (MA/4K) $5
She's Having a Baby (1988) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.50
She's the Man (2006) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.25
Shooter (2007) (Vudu/HD) $5.75
Sicario (2015) (Vudu/4K) $6 (Vudu/HD) $1.75 (iTunes/4K) $3
Sideways (2004) (MA/HD) $5.25
Silent Night, Deadly Night: 3-Film Collection (1989-1991) (Vudu/HD) $6
Sin City (2005) (Vudu/HD) $5.75
Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (2014) (Vudu/HD) $6.50
Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas (2007) (MA/HD) $6.50
Sing (2016) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $2.75
Sing 2 (2021) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $3.75
Sinister (2012) (Vudu/HD) $3 (iTunes/HD) $2.75
Sisters (Unrated) (2015) (MA/HD) $4 (iTunes/HD) $3.25
Sleeping Beauty (1959) (MA/HD) $3.50 (GP/HD) $2.75
Sleepless (2017) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $1
Smile (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $6.75
Smokey and the Bandit (1977) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $3.75
Smurfs: The Lost Village (2017) (MA/HD) $3.25
Snatched (2017) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $1
Snitch (2013) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $1.75
Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs (1937) (MA/HD) $6.50 (GP/HD) $3.75
Snowden (2016) (MA/HD) $3.50 (iTunes/HD) $4
Some Kind of Wonderful (1987) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.50
Son of God (2014) (MA/HD) $1.25
Sorry to Bother You (2018) (MA/HD) $5
Sound of Music, The (1965) (MA/HD) $6
Source Code (2011) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5
Space Between Us, The (2017) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $5
Space Jam (1996) (MA/4K) $5
Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021) (MA/4K) $5
Spider-Man (2002) (MA/HD) $5.75
Spider-Man 2 + Extended Edition (2004) (MA/HD) $5.75
Spider-Man 3 (2007) (MA/HD) $5
Spider-Man Collection 1-8 (MA/HD) $24
Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019) (MA/HD) $4.25
Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017) (MA/HD) $1.75
Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse (2018) (MA/HD) $5
Spies in Disguise (2019) (MA/HD) $3.75 (GP/HD) $2.75
Spirit, The (2008) (Vudu/HD) $3
Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron (2003) (MA/HD) $5.25
Spy (Unrated) (2015) (MA/HD) $2
Spy Game (2001) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $5.75
Star Trek 1-3 (Vudu/4K) $18 (Vudu/HD) $9 (iTunes/4K) $13
Star Trek Beyond (2016) (Vudu/HD) $1.75 (iTunes/4K) $3.25
Starsky & Hutch (2004) (MA/HD) $6
Step Up Revolution (2012) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.25
Still Alice (2015) (MA/HD) $3
Stillwater (2021) (MA/HD) $5
Stir of Echoes (1999) (Vudu/HD) $4.75
Straight Outta Compton (Unrated Director’s Cut) (2015) (MA/4K) $7.50 (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.50
Strange World (2022) (MA/HD) $5
Stronger (2017) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.75
Stuber (2019) (MA/HD) $4.25
Suburbicon (2017) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.25
Suffragette (2015) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $3
Suicide Squad, The (2021) (MA/4K) $5
Super 8 (2011) (Vudu/4K) $5.75 (Vudu/HD) $3.25 (iTunes/4K) $5
Super Buddies (2013) (MA/HD) $5.75 (GP/HD) $4
Super Troopers (2002) (MA/HD) $5.75
Super Troopers 2 (2018) (MA/HD) $3
SW: Force Awakens (2015) (MA/4K) $5.50 (iTunes/4K) $3.75 (GP/HD) $1.50
SW: Phantom Menace (1999) (MA/4K) $7.50 (iTunes/4K) $6.50 (GP/HD) $3.50
SW: Revenge of the Sith (2005) (MA/4K) $7.50 (GP/HD) $3.50
SW: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016) (MA/4K) $6.75 (iTunes/4K) $4 (GP/HD) $1.50
Sword in the Stone (1963) (MA/HD) $6.25 (GP/HD) $3.75
Taken (2009), 2 (2012), 3 (2015) (MA/HD) $9
Tangled (2010) (MA/HD) $5.25 (GP/HD) $4
Tarzan (1999) (MA/HD) $6.50 (GP/HD) $5
Ted (2012) (Unrated) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.25
Terminator: Genisys (2015) (Vudu/HD) $1.75 (iTunes/4K) $3
Terms of Endearment (1983) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5
Theory Of Everything (2014) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $4
Thing, The (2011) (MA/HD) $6.25 (iTunes/HD) $5.75
Think Like a Man (2012) & Two (2014) (MA/HD) $9
This Is 40 (2012) (MA/HD) $3.75 (iTunes/HD) $2.50
Thor (2011) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $7 (GP/HD) $3.50
Thumbelina (1994) (MA/HD) $6.25
Till (2022) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Tinker Bell and the Legend of the NeverBeast (2014) (MA/HD) $6.25 (GP/HD) $4.50
Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy (2011) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $4.25
Titanic (1997) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.75
TMNT Out of the Shadows (2016) (iTunes/4K) $4
Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life (2003) (Vudu/HD) $6
Tomorrowland (2015) (MA/HD) $5.50 (GP/HD) $3.50
Top Five (2014) (Vudu/HD) $5 (iTunes/HD) $3.75
Top Gun (1986) (Vudu/4K) $5.25 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Total Recall (1990) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.25
Total Recall + Extended (2012) (MA/HD) $5.25 (Theatrical) $4.25
Tower Heist (2011) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $4
Toy Story of Terror! (2013) (MA/HD) $3.75
Trading Places (1983) (Vudu/HD) $4 (iTunes/4K) $5
Trainwreck (2015) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $1.50
Transformers 1-5 (Vudu/4K) $29 (Vudu/HD) $22
Transformers: Last Knight (2017) (Vudu/4K) $4.75 (iTunes/4K) $2.25 (Vudu/HD) $2
Trauma Center (2019) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.25
Trick 'r Treat (2009) (MA/HD) $5
Triple 9 (2016) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $2.50
Trolls (2016) (MA/HD) $1.50
Trolls Collection 1-2 (MA/HD) $6.50
Tully (2018) (MA/HD) $5.75
Tyler Perry Presents Peeples (2013) (Vudu/HD) $1.75
Unbanned: The Legend of AJ1 (2019) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (2022) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6
Unbroken (2014) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3
Unfinished Business (2015) (MA/HD) $4.50
Unhinged (2020) (Vudu/HD) $4
Up in Smoke ‘Cheech and Chong’ (1978) (Vudu/HD) $3.25 (iTunes/HD) $2.50
Upside, The (2017) (iTunes/HD) $2
Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017) (Vudu/HD) $2.75
Venom (2018) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $3.50
Venom: Let There Be Carnage (2021) (MA/4K) $7.25 (MA/HD) $3.50
Vice (2015) 'Bruce Willis' (Vudu/HD) $2.75
Vow, The (2012) (MA/HD) $3.25
W. (2008) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Walk the Line (2005) (MA/HD) $4.75
Walk, The (2015) (MA/HD) $5
Walking with Dinosaurs (2013) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.50
Wanted (2008) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $6
Warm Bodies (2013) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $2
Warrior (2011) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/HD) $4
Watch, The (2012) (MA/HD) $4.25
Way, Way Back, The (2013) (MA/HD) $5.25
Wayne's World (1992) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
What Men Want (2019) (Vudu/HD) $1.75 (iTunes/4K) $1.25
What to Expect When You're Expecting (2012) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.25
Where the Crawdads Sing (2022) (MA/HD) $5
Whiplash (2014) (MA/HD) $5.75
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot (2016) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.25
Why Him? (2016) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $2
Widows (2018) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $1.50
Wild Card (2015) (Vudu/HD) $4.25
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971) (MA/4K) $5.50
Wind River (2017) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.50
Wings (1927) (Vudu/HD) $4
Witch, The (2016) (Vudu/HD) $3.50
Wizard of Lies (2017) (Vudu/HD) $5 (iTunes/HD) $4.25 (GP/HD) $3
Woman in Gold (2015) (Vudu/HD) $2.75
Woman King (2022) (MA/4K) $7.25 (MA/HD) $5.75
Wonder (2017) (Vudu/4K) $5.75 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.25
Wonder Woman 1984 (2020) (MA/4K) $3
Won't Back Down (2012) (MA/HD) $3.75
Woodlawn (2015) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.75
World War Z (2013) (Vudu/HD) $3.50 (iTunes/HD) $1.50
Wraith, The (1986) (Vudu/HD) $5
Wrath of Man (2021) (Vudu/HD) $3
X-Men (2000), X2 (2003), The Last Stand (2006) (MA/HD) $14.50
X-Men: First Class (2010), Days of Future Past (2004), Apocalypse (2014) (MA/HD) $11
xXx: The Return of Xander Cage (2017) (Vudu/4K) $5.50 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $1.25
Youth in Revolt (2009) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
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2023.03.29 02:36 dino-dic-hella-thicc A toy that looks like ironman but isn't. A difficult challenge I'm afraid.
I'm looking to replace my little brothers favorite toy but i for the life of me can't figure out what it's called. He lost it and I don't have any pics but I'll try to describe it as well as possible.
It was kinda like a gi joe, articulated feet,knees,elbows, legs, arms, torso, neck and wrists. It was about 6 inches tall. The character was African American, but you could only tell if you looked at his head from under the non removable helmet.
The character was wearing some sort of exo suit designed for flight, and heavily armored. The boots had thrusters on them and removable shin guards. The wrist gauntlets had machine guns on them. In the center of the breastplate there was a oval shaped blue spot that was meant to be a power souce i think. The hands were wearing gray gloves with a circle in the palms of the hands. The thighs had downward facing vents on them.
The color scheme was bronze and black with little splashes of gray and blue. The helmet was black with blue eye holes. The chest piece was black. The torso underarmor was gray. The boots were black. The machine guns were black, but had bronze ported barrels.
I think the packaging had the phrase "Blue angels " on it. Or maybe it was blue firefly, or blue squadron. It was definitely BLUE something.
That's all i can remember. I'd be happy to add any clarifying info possible if asked. Thanks in advance
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2023.03.29 00:43 pixellune Nicole Dollanganger-esque films
This is my attempt at a master list. I've added letterboxd links for each film and a brief description for those looking something to watch. Let me know if anything should be added!
CW: Brief discussion of violence, drugs, abuse, SA, sexual themes, and general disturbing content
if a film is on here it doesn't mean i necessarily recommend it, or like it, just that it fits within nicole's aesthetic.
Links and descriptions mostly taken from letterboxd
films that nicole has referenced Welcome to the Dollhouse
- An awkward young girl struggles to cope with neglectful parents and bullying at school. Odes to Dawn Weiner
is named after the main character of this film Freaks
- A circus’ beautiful trapeze artist agrees to marry the leader of side-show performers, but his deformed friends discover she is only marrying him for his inheritance. Natural Born Killers
- A disturbed couple become serial killers together, and are romanticized by the press. Natural Born Losers
is arguably named after this film. Also referenced in Blue Moon Motel The Elephant Man
- Based on the tragic life of Joseph Merrick, a man born with severe deformities who was put in a circus side show and abused through his life because of them. Cries of the Elephant Man's Bones
was written about him. Grey Gardens
- The story of two eccentric elderly women living in an isolated long island estate. one of nicole's favorites Badlands
- Based on the Starkweather-Fugate case, a series of murders committed by Charles Starkweather and Caril Ann Fugate. Nebraska
is based on this case. Flowers in the Attic, 1879
- Destitute after their fathers death, the dollanganger children are hidden away in a room while their mother attempts to regain favor with their grandfather, who never approved of the marriage to begin with. Nicole's favorite book series. The name Dollanganger
is pulled from the books, she has a tattoo of it, and Fleurs Captives
was inspired by the story. Pet Sematary 1989, 2019
- A family moves to a rural town wherein lies a burial ground that can bring the dead back to life- at a cost. Please Just Stay Dead
was inspired by this story. Guinea pig 2 : Flower of Flesh and Blood
- **PARTICULAR CW ON THIS ONE,**it is extremely graphic gore
A woman is kidnapped and mutilated for 40 minutes. Flowers of Flesh and Blood
was named after this film. The Eyes of Tammy Faye, 2000, 2021
- The story of televangelist Tammy Faye Bakker Messner and her husband Jim Bakker. Tammy Faye
is named after this film. Hitmen for Hire
- A school project by the shooters behind the Columbine massacre. Audio from this video is sampled in Rampage. Only Angels Have Wings
- At a remote South American trading port, the manager of an air-freight company is forced to risk his pilots' lives in order to win an important contract as a traveling American showgirl stops in town. Only Angels Have Wings
was named after this film. Dogtooth
- A controlling father locks his three adult offspring in a state of perpetual childhood by keeping them prisoner within the sprawling family compound. The title of Dog Teeth
may be a reference to this film. Nightmare On Elm Street (series)
- Films 2-5 and Freddy's Dead
are some of nicoles favorites. The Greta Gibson Forever
EP is named after a character in the 5th film. Edward Scissorhands
- A small suburban town receives a visit from a castaway unfinished science experiment named Edward. one of nicoles favorites Let's All Go to the Lobby!
- A commercial that played in the previews at movie theaters. Nicole covers it in the Greta Gibson Forever
EP Sunset Boulevard
- A hack screenwriter writes a screenplay for a former silent film star who has faded into Hollywood obscurity. Referenced in Blue Moon Motel.
One of Nicole's favorites True Romance
- Clarence marries escort Alabama, steals cocaine from her pimp, and tries to sell it in Hollywood, while the owners of the coke try to reclaim it. Referenced in Blue Moon Motel
and You're So Cool. What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?
- A former child star torments her paraplegic sister in their decaying Hollywood mansion. One of Nicole's favorites The Shape Of Water
- At a top secret research facility in the 1960s, a lonely janitor forms a unique relationship with an amphibious creature that is being held in captivity. One of Nicole's favorites Boy's Don't Cry
- Biopic about the tragic life of Brandon Teena. One of Nicole's favorites. Gummo
- Solomon and Tummler are two teenagers killing time in Xenia, Ohio, a small town that has never recovered from the tornado that ravaged the community in the 1970s. Bunny Boy
is named after this film. A Marvelous Persona
also samples audio from this film. IT, 1990, 2017
- A group of misfit kids fight a demonic clown who is terrorizing their town. 30 years later they must return to kill it once and for all. Beverly Marsh
is based on one of the characters.
Films that fit nicole's aesthetic The Virgin Suicides
- A group of boys become obsessed with 5 mysterious sisters, sheltered by their strict parents. The Crush
- A teenage girl becomes obsessed with a naive writer- to disastrous consequences. Wedding in White
- A young girl becomes pregnant after an assault, and is horrified at her parents' response to it. Picnic at Hanging Rock
- A group of school girls go out for a picnic at a strange rock formation, where some girls wander off - and vanish. Blue Velvet
- The discovery of a severed human ear found in a field leads a young man on an investigation related to a beautiful, mysterious nightclub singer and a group of criminals who have kidnapped her child. Thoroughbreds
- Two upperclass girls rekindle an unlikely friendship and learn new things about eachother- and that a murder may solve both of their problems. Slut
- 16 year old Maddy leads a lonely life caring for her disabled grandmother in their rural home. Like everyone in the small town, she spends her free time in the local roller rink. Palo Alto
- Three intertwining stories about teenage boredom, lust, and self destruction. The Quiet
- After her fathers death, a deaf teenage girl moves in with her godfamily, where she learns her abrasive godsister may be harboring a dark secret. Dolores Claiborne
- A reporter returns to her hometown where her mother has been arrested for murder. While she tries to uncover the truth, she uncovers dark memories of her childhood that she might wish had remained lost. Angela
- A disturbed young girl who has delusions of Lucifer and Mother Mary performs many rituals and misadventures in an attempt to heal her mother's mental illness. What's Eating Gilbert Grape
- A young man in a small Midwestern town struggles to bear the responsibility of his dysfunctional family while attempting to pursue his own happiness. Alice, Sweet Alice
- In 1961, a divorced Catholic couple's life is turned upside-down when one of their two adolescent daughters is suspected of her younger sister's brutal murder during her First Holy Communion and a series of subsequent stabbings. I Believe In Unicorns
- Follows the lyrical journey of an imaginative teenage girl who runs away from home with an older punk rock drifter, but not even unicorns can save her now Lilya 4-ever
- Sixteen-year-old Lilja and her only friend, the young boy Volodja, live in Russia, fantasizing about a better life. One day, Lilja falls in love with Andrej, who is going to Sweden, and invites Lilja to come along and start a new life. We Need To Talk About Kevin
- After her son Kevin commits a horrific act, troubled mother Eva reflects on her complicated relationship with her disturbed son as he grew from a toddler into a teenager. Elephant
- Several ordinary high school students go through their daily routine as two others prepare for something more malevolent. The film chronicles the events surrounding a school shooting.
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2023.03.28 22:43 Siggurrosstakk Is it possible to salvage the relationship?
In May 2022, I started messaging and videocalling with a woman on a dating site. I'm a 28 year old American male, she is a 32 year old Colombian female. She is a very kind, positive, and intelligent person (and a computer engineer, which is very uncommon for women in Colombia). I've always respected many things about her and ever since we first started talking we've always been very respectful with each other.
Prior to May I didn't know any Spanish. But every day since then I've put an average of 1 hour per day studying Spanish on my own. Between Spanish and English (we both know some of both) we're able to communicate well.
For 7 months we chatted online every day and video called all the time. Our love slowly grew more and more through the months. In July, I told her I want to book a plane ticket and come see you in person. Due to prior work obligations I wouldn't be able to fly out until December. We never officially called it a relationship but it was pretty damn obvious it was. She had told me that she wasn't talking to anyone else and that she wanted to wait for me. I said the same.
August 15, I found a decent ticket and booked it! We were both beside ourselves in joy.
In October, she revealed to me that she had lied about her age. She was 32, not 31. She was self-conscious and thought I'd think she was too old. I told her that's ridiculous, I don't care about such superficial things, but it's a huge red flag that you lied to me. I'm very alert about red flags, but I decided to let it slide, maybe it's not a huge deal.
mid-December 2022: I fly to Colombia. We meet in person. Everything is amazing. We'd been waiting for this for so long. We took a 2-week trip together through Colombia. It was beautiful.
Toward the end of our trip together, she revealed some things to me out of guilt. She revealed that she had sex with someone - she said it was in June. Then a few seconds later she said actually it was July, but before I bought the plane ticket. I was devastated. I was absolutely devastated, but I tried to forgive her.
I couldn't help but think that the date she told me was a lie. I can't explain why, but I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that it had actually occurred in August, after I bought the planet ticket. But I thought maybe I was just overthinking things and I was in a really devastated state.
I was back in the States finishing up some work in January and getting things organized and lined up, and then flew back to Colombia Feb. 3 - and I spent February and March 2023 there with her, and we lived together. During these past 2 months, many more lies have come to surface. I pressed her about the August thing because I felt for some reason that it was a lie, and indeed she said actually the sex was on August 19, a few days after I bought the plane ticket and 2 days before my birthday. And she had lied about visiting Peru and Ecuador to seem well-travelled (so silly) but she's never been out of Colombia. On the day of August 19 she'd sent me a message saying that there were electrical problems in the house, but really that wasn't the truth.
I really struggled with finding that more lies had surfaced, and I said, ok, I understand you were scared to lose me, but from here on our (Feb 9) we cannot have any more lies. Relationships are built on honesty and trust. No more lies. We both agreed on that on Feb 9.
In March, more lies surfaced (and I wasn't even looking for them). We were having a lovely conversation about theater plays, and I was like "what was that play you went to a few months back?"
"I don't remember," she said. "What month?"
"I don't know," I said. We looked in our WhatsApp conversations (super easy to search with keywords) and found it was August 10. She still couldn't remember. I said, according to the message your cousin was in the play.
Then she said, "Oh yeah, I remember now" and the whole thing was a little suspicious because she normally has a great memory. She went into the other room to continue cleaning, but she had come back in and saw that I was still looking at the WhatsApp chat in my phone and she could see that I seemed confused or suspicious. She said to me, "I have something to tell you." And she told me that she was not at a play; rather she was with the guy who she'd had sex with on Aug. 19. But only those 2 dates.
And I thought about it, and I said, "Wait a minute, no, that doesn't make sense. He was there on a business trip. You wouldn't have seen him Aug 10 and Aug 19 - 9 days apart. That doesn't make any sense."
Then she came clean that it was actually 2 guys. 1 guy she kissed on Aug 10, and the other guy she had sex with on Aug 19 and Aug 21 (Aug 21 is my birthday). She felt so guilty about everything and didn't want to tell me that they had sex on my birthday.
The lies have continued and continued and continued, even through all the tears and after promising me there is no more, and there are no more lies. I wasn't even trying to dig for them and they naturally came in conversation, like fate.
Because of the continued lies, I left her and flew back to the US last Wednesday. She feels guilty for all that she's done and all the lies she told (I counted as least 12). And she says that she will wait for me for as long as it takes and that she is committed to me. I told her she should live her life. I wish her the best truly, and she is wonderful in many ways and always showed me so much kindness, respect, and positivity, but I cannot be with someone who lies. We were going to get married in November.
Did I do the right thing by leaving? Or is this possible to mend? I know that she feels extreme guilt for all of this. And I know that people make mistakes, and she hadnt met me in person yet. But there was just so many lies.
Too Long, Didn't Read
I've been dating a Colombian woman for the past 10 months (7 months online, 3 months in person) and while in person learned that she was cheating on me during the time we were online, but I forgave her and we said ok, no more lies, but then more lies surfaced even after that, lies about men she was with during the time we were online.
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2023.03.28 20:45 SideFit8721 My client’s husband make an extremely racists remark, and I don’t know what to do.
I (19f) am a caregiver to elderly people. I have a client right now who is a woman in her 80’s. I was hired by her daughter (who lives out of state) to provide her with healthy meals, get her to exercise, and help around the house. Her husband (80’s with dementia), is the stepfather to the daughter that employs me. I am also close friends with his daughter and SIL who live on the property with them. She had warned me her dad isn’t a very good guy, and will say “crazy things”.
This morning, my client was reading an article called “Is there a cure for prejudice?” Her husband saw the article and read the title out loud, then said “yes there is!” With the most serious tone and expression, he said “Send all the blacks back to Africa.” Then he dead stared me in the face. I was stunned. I turned to my client, and she was shaking her head at him. She said “well im Hispanic and you married me!”
I just replied back to him “that’s certainly a take.” As a Hispanic person, I’m honestly so ashamed that I didn’t just call him out right on the spot. I feel like I should have walked out right then and there. The state I live in has a very small African American community, so Never in my life have I had someone make such a blatant racist remark around me. Especially not directly to my face. I’m in shock right now. This just happened and I’m still at work with another hour to go.
I want to just quit right now, But this is my only job, and we need the money. My husband has applied to several places, and had multiple job interviews, but has yet to be hired. I don’t have any other jobs lined up yet. I don’t know what to do. How do I handle this? Should I quit now and never come back? Should I wait for my husband to get hired and then quit asap? How do I explain to my friend what her father has done? Do I explain to my clients daughter why I’m quitting? What if she doesn’t want to pay me for quitting without notice?
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2023.03.28 19:00 thebirthdaywisher Biography On Air: Happy Birthday!! Matt Nathanson
2023.03.28 18:09 thrownwolfthronewolf Dr. Ellen's Thanksgiving and Birthday Visits
Don't steal my stories.
It's been awhile, fam. Here's my update. Baby #4 was born glorious and fat. Dr. Ellen was nowhere to be seen since she didn't know the due date. After I got out of surgery (planned), baby was declared healthy, and no medical issues arose for either of us in the next 12 hours. We called eFIL and Dr. Ellen to announce the birth. The call went well. A few weeks later, we invited them to come for Thanksgiving when baby would be 2 months old. They accepted.
DH and I talked extensively, and we weren't going to let them caretake (diapers, feed, etc.) for baby or for our 1.5 year old, DD3. They hadn't seen DD3 since she was 6 months old because Dr. Ellen wouldn't apologize for her antics at DH's graduation party.
I was wearing baby when they arrived at the house. Dr. Ellen was a little scared of me since our last conversation was me ripping her a new asshole on the phone while I was pregnant with DS4 (see post history). I wasn't sad about it. She immediately washed her hands because she assumed we would give her DS4 to hold immediately. We did not do that, and we left for a restaurant immediately instead. We arranged seating at dinner so the babies weren't near them. They didn't ask to hold either of the babies, and we didn't offer. This lasted all through the next day until we had a photoshoot. I have had photoshoots with both sets of grandparents as close to newborn as I could with each baby we have had. This was Dr. Ellen and eFIL's photoshoot with baby #4. The time came for photos of Dr. Ellen with baby. I handed DS4 to her. DS4 proceeded to ugly scream cry the whole time she held him no matter what she did to try to soothe him. DH and I had to walk away because we could not hide the smirks on our faces. What can I say? My son is a good judge of character. He stopped crying immediately when she handed him back to me. He really is a very calm baby usually, so he must have sensed evil. Anyway, when the photographer sent me the photos, the shots of Dr. Ellen holding DS4 were GLORIOUS. I even asked the photographer for more shots of him making ugly cry faces while she smiled and held him. The photographer obliged. They are hands down my favorite photos of Dr. Ellen.
The Thanksgiving visit went pretty well apart from Dr. Ellen repeatedly whispering to my 6 year old. Everywhere. At the dinner table even! Rude bitch. She always does something completely unexpected and annoying like that. This time is was whispering to DD1 constantly. We discussed it after she left. We decided we would confront her next time we see it, and we discussed why whispering is rude with DD1. We told DD1 to tell Dr. Ellen whispering is rude next time she does it if we're not able to intervene. Dr. Ellen would be butthurt if she's shamed by a child, but I remember reading on here about an American JNMIL that went to her son's wedding to and Indian woman in India and was handled similarly by the bride's young nieces. I thought it was brilliant.
The Thanksgiving visit went fairly well, so we decided to invite them to DD2 birthday party in February. DD2 is the one Dr. Ellen likes to pick on because she's strong willed and looks like me. They favor DD1 and DD3 because they look like DH. Dr. Ellen has all but accused me of the worst with DD2 because she looks like me more than DH.
They didn't hold either baby the rest of their stay until the last night right before they left. Dr. Ellen asked to hold baby. He screamed at her again. They left.
For Christmas, they didn't plan a video call with us. They just called DH 3x within 30 minutes while DH and I were cooking Christmas dinner then sent a text saying they had tried EVERYTHING to get in touch with us and we weren't responding. Being all passive aggressive and blaming it on us that we weren't available on their whim on Christmas day... I mentioned I have 4 kids, right? We don't do anything on a whim, and my kids were playing with their new toys. They can schedule something ahead if it's important to them. We've told them that repeatedly.
Then came the February birthday party. My entire family flew in for this birthday party (we had 1 big birthday party for DD1 like this where we flew everyone in for a big party when she was younger, and it was DD2 turn now). The last time Dr. Ellen was around my family she behaved abhorrently (check post history - Graduation Party). She needed to be on her best behavior if she wanted to be invited to anything else ever again. I think she was trying because she was pretty quiet most of the time. She did not whisper to my children, but she did whisper to eFIL a lot.
Dr. Ellen is VERY BOTHERED when my children look like me. DS4 looks strongly of my side. His baby pictures look exactly like DD2 (who Dr. Ellen dislikes because she looks like me), and 2 of my sister's children when they were babies. Dr. Ellen went around the entire weekend asking each one of my family members who DS4 looks like and saying she didn't know who he looked like. Repeatedly. Everyone told her DS4 looks like our side of the family. She didn't like that answer apparently and would ask again. Idk what her obsession is, but my family found this line of questioning to be very strange and asked me about it.
Dr. Ellen feels pretty entitled to alone time with my children. She tries to insolate them away from me, and this visit was no different. She kept taking them away to "play" with them in separate rooms that no other adults happened to be in. I kept making that hard for her because it's bizarre and suspicious. One night, we heated our pool so all the kids could swim together. Dr. Ellen said it was too cold outside for her, so she would stay inside with DD3. Nope. DD3 got her swimsuit on and went to play with her cousins. So Dr. Ellen dramatically grabbed 2 blankets for herself and sat around our firepit by the pool where most of the adults were and loudly complained about how cold it was. We live in the south, and she lives in the northern USA. After the kids started getting out of the pool, wet, DD1 came over and said she was cold. As I was about to tell her to go get changed out of her wet swimsuit and into some warmer clothes, Dr. Ellen OPENED UP HER BLANKET AND ASKED DD1 TO GET UNDER IT WITH HER TO SNUGGLE FOR WARMTH. So gross. I gave DH a meaningful look, he acknowledged, and I walked away to help DD2 and DD3 get dressed while he extracted DD1 from snuggling under blankets in a wet bathing suit with Dr. Ellen. I don't think Dr. Ellen is a sexual predator, but she has done some borderline grooming behavior with the kids over the years that makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. We had to say no to her bathing them or watching them take baths when she was obsessive about that. We said no to her playing in their bedrooms alone with them with the doors closed. Things like that. We have explained repeatedly that we don't want to normalize those things for our children because we don't want them thinking it's okay for any adult to do those things with them. It isn't just about Dr. Ellen. She isn't getting singled out. I wouldn't want anyone outside of DH and I doing those things with my children. Getting under a blanket together is really similar. I wouldn't want my kids to do it with anyone else, so Dr. Ellen can't normalize that. Get DD1 her own blanket, then have her sit on grandma's lap. That's more appropriate. So like I said before, Dr. Ellen does something completely unexpected and bizarre with my kids every time I see her, and this was it for the birthday visit.
Dr. Ellen and eFIL have proposed taking us on a trip this year for a week to celebrate a special anniversary of theirs. Their last special anniversary 10 years ago was spent with all of us catering to SIL's young children. DH and I didn't have children yet, but we didn't complain. This time, they took SIL's family on a separate trip because they didn't want to have our young kids slowing them down. Seems hypocritical, but okay. DH and I have spent a lot of time discussing the possibility of traveling with Dr. Ellen and the boundaries we would need to enable a trip like that. If you have suggestions, I'm all ears.
So they leave after birthday celebrations and don't call us or the kids for 6 weeks. Then they go on an international trip with SIL's family (their special anniversary trip with her family that we were not invited to because we have young children). We haven't seen SIL in 4 years. She has not met our youngest 2 children. We have invited her to visit us several times, she doesn't respond. She won't go out of her way at all to see us or enable her children to have cousin relationships with our children. She does travel often for various other things including hobbies, girl trips, and taking her kids on vacation. But she won't visit us or drive a couple hours to meet us halfway when we get within driving distance of her home. She is and always has been profoundly selfish. Whatever. Well WHAT DO YOU KNOW her flights home got messed up and her family got stranded in our city overnight. She called DH and wanted to stay with us. We begrudgingly accept because other than DD1, our kids don't know their cousins on that side at all. DD2 straight up asked who they were when they came. I answered, "the cousins you have kind of never met before," and I could not bring myself to call SIL or eBIL aunt and uncle. I called them by their first names.
SIL's family didn't stay awake to catch up with us or anything. Just arrived, ate, and went to bed. So the next morning, we take them out for breakfast. Dr. Ellen texted SIL asking to do a video call with all of us because she can't stand the idea of something not being about her. I was seriously enraged when SIL asked if we wanted to video call Dr. Ellen on the spot in the middle of a restaurant. Why can't we spend the very little time we have with SIL's family catching up with SIL's family? Why does Dr. Ellen have to interrupt that time and involve herself? She's so intrusive! Go away! Dr. Ellen had just spent a whole week with them and didn't bother to call us for 6 weeks so why the emergency? Ugh. I didn't do a good job of hiding how unimpressed I was with that idea. I'm sure SIL told Dr. Ellen that I said, "I don't need to do that at all," when asked if calling Dr. Ellen at the table was okay. Oh well.
I had a conversation with DH this morning about how angry I get about Dr. Ellen. For years, I showed her grace. I am done. I have been done since I watched Dr. Ellen bully DH, my family, and DD2. When I am done with a person or a behavior (talking about my own behaviors), it's over. There's no recovering it. This is my nature. I am forgiving for a very long time. I try my best to find a solution with compromise. When all avenues of peaceable solutions fail, I am done. I am done with Dr. Ellen, but I don't get to be because DH still wants a relationship with her. So I'm just angry and becoming bitter. Idk where to go from here. We are supposed to visit DH's family in June. We rented an Airbnb because that was a condition I set on making the trip. We're considering a week long vacation with them to celebrate their anniversary. I am trying to be a good wife by supporting my husband's choices about his family, but I just hate her and I don't seem to be able to control my anger towards her. Send conac.
submitted by thrownwolfthronewolf
to JUSTNOMIL [link] [comments]
2023.03.28 17:58 Lady-Sparti A Different Path - MEGAMI - Part 2 (Finale)
I can't believe that we are here. The finale to this series, this has been such fun to write. I don't think that I will do another series for a while but I do have something in mind. There will be an epilogue where something will fall into place but for now, enjoy!
TW: There is derogatory language thrown at Ayano, so yeah. Be on the watch.
The doors started to open, Taro was here! She put on her most sultry look and listened to the doorman make the announcement of her darling’s arrival...
“Introducing… Taro Yamada and Ayano Aishi.”
All hope of finally having Taro to herself disintegrated in the moment. ‘No… I saw it, she was taken by the Yakuza. She should be on a ship to a fucking brothel!’ She clenched her glass tightly. Yet there she was, in the Yamada colours to add salt to the wound. Taro was holding her hand as if she were the most sacred creature to grace the planet, donned in blood red also.
“The theme is ice” Megami spoke coldly “Did your pretty betrothed not tell you?”
“No, I am very much aware of your colour scheme Megami. I simply chose not to follow it” Taro retorted. “Besides, I think my betrothed looks far better in the Yamada red then she would in silver. Don’t you agree Ayano?” She was dressed in a red silk gown that looked like she had gone back to the 1930’s to buy it. It draped over her figure in a way that made her desirable to the men in the ballroom.
“I agree. Darling, I’m disappointed...”
“What is it that has displeased you dear?” Taro asked smoothly.
“I thought a Saikou Ball was meant to be the best in the area, All I see is tack” She noted the ice scuptures and expensive foods “This isn’t a ball is it Taro? It feels more like a statement than something to enjoy.” She glanced about the room, the people in attendance looked like they had to be there rather than wanted to be.
“Oh, that’s a fur shawl.” Ayano pointed her red lace fan at the shawl. “Snow leopard, am I correct?”
Megami’s pride clouded her judgement “I didn’t take you for someone who would know things like this, not coming from money and all...”
“That’s a bad example to set.” Ayano shook her head “The snow leopard is on the endangered species list for a reason and yet you had one killed to have a fur shawl like that? When you are head of the family, you need to set an example to others in your family and around you. What will they think if you do something like this? I thought your family was all about preserving the environment...”
Ayano had laced the verbal spanking into her wording. Taro looked back at Megami who was on the verge of lashing out at his Ayano, the look in her soulless silver eyes was dark and hateful. Like a dolls eyes.
“Who do you think you are? To speak to me as if you are any better than me? Scum of the fucking earth! The first thing I am going to do when I take charge of my family is cleanse the country of half castes and undesirables like you!”
Gasps echoed around the room but she did not stop.
“Common bitches like you think that you can get away with anything! But not any more! Only the pure can and will succeed, I will personally see to it and anyone with filthy mixed blood or undesirable features are removed from society and die! Even that would be too good for you, I’ll make sure that any families with mixed blood go extinct!”
She stopped and smiled. Then, she realised what she had said and horror flooded her body like ice water. Everyone in the ballroom turned to leave, making their way out of the door. Megami panicked. “Wait! I didn’t mean that! I only said it to get her out of here!”
She looked into Taro’s eyes, they were unforgiving. “I knew you held… certain views but that was even worse than what I suspected of you. You disgust me” His words cut her like shards of glass. The couple in red finally walked away and Megami let out a piercing scream.
She had been betrayed.
They had finally arrived at Taro’s home where Itsumi met them with Ryoba and Jokichi in tow.
Taro shivered “It was worse than I thought. Megami doesn’t want to just wed me, she wants to exterminate anyone who is mixed race or is different! She said so herself!” Ryoba and Jokichi looked at each other. Jokichi’s mother had been Korean, they both knew exactly what would happen if Megami were to find out.
“How can that be the case in this day and age?!” Jokichi yelled before Itsumi shook herself out of the shock and explained.
“Saisho Saikou grew up when something like that would have been acceptable to think. Korea was under Japanese occupation when he was in his late teens, as I suspect you know. It wouldn’t be an extreme guess to say that he probably taught his children to think like that and his grand children, that anyone who isn’t purely Japanese is beneath them.”
Itsumi then turned to her guarding the black uniforms “Go to the Aishi residence, anything of monetary or sentimental value must be moved here tonight! I don’t trust the Saikou’s to play fair after the outburst their heir just had! Ryoba, Jokichi, is there anything that needs priority of saving?”
Ryoba had become weak at her legs and fell into a chair “Oh god...” She whimpered “There’s a photograph album, in the Ottoman by the sofa. It has family photographs dating back to the mid 19th Century. Of my family and Jokichi’s. There’s photos relating to the war as well from Korea, his family would have been executed had they been found.
There’s also an album of Ayano growing up in the Ottoman too. There’s her first baby shoes, her first lost tooth and her drawings of us as a family in a box, in the kitchen. Nearly everything else I can replace but not those!”
Jokichi continued “In my wardrobe there is a Hanbok that I was given for my twenty first birthday, please save that at least! Its the last memory of my family before they passed away!”
Five men in black uniform’s nodded by speeding out of the manor. The Aishi’s came together, shaking. Ayano whimpered “I didn’t mean for this to happen!”
“Of course you didn’t. This is by no means your fault, the Saikous are a vicious bunch anyway. No matter what happens, we will protect you with our lives” Ryoba ground out. Why had the gods turned on her family like this? When she chose to spare Sumire, she knew she had made the right decision but was this karma for all the girls that her ancestors had killed or maimed coming back to haunt her?
She had ever agreed with what her mother had done to her father, breaking his mind until all he did was sit down in a chair to be spoon-fed by their mother. She and her sister Kei pretty much grew up without a father, their mother had taught them that killing their rivals was the only option to happiness.
But mother had been very wrong.
When Ryoba had spared all of her rivals and let them mess up on their own, she had been busy building a bond with Jokichi which had won his genuine love for her. Kei was inspired to do the same, befriending all of her rivals so that she had no enemies.
While their mother was happy that both of them had their beloved, she didn’t understand why they had both been so gentle. Jokichi’s family had loved Ryoba the moment they met her, even his Korean mother fell for the sweet girl. When his family had opened their small pottery business, Ryoba had gifted them a Jade plant. That had sealed the deal with Jokichi’s parents.
“I hope you marry that girl” His mother had told Jokichi “My family might have its issues with me marrying your father after the war but I would be honoured to call the Aishi girl my daughter-in-law”
His parents had died a year after their wedding, they hadn’t even had the chance to meet Ayano. She was his family and nothing would stop him from protecting her.
“We are a family. You are my only daughter and they will have to go through both of us before they get to you!” Jokichi raised his voice. Taro looked out from the window, he could see the opulent Saikou family home from here. He clenched his fists, pictured Megami whinging to her father. A long time ago, Ren Yamada had taught his son a valuable lesson.
“When the forces try to get in your way of what you want or who you love, there should be nothing that will stop you from getting or protecting what you need. You need to be smart about it and remove all the obstacles that may harm them. When you have a family, you will understand this more than ever.”
His family were possibly in danger now, that included Ayano and her parents…
While family concluded that she was in the right, something still had gone horribly wrong.
“You are always right Megami, don’t let any one tell you other but… we may need to leave Japan until this blows over” Ichirou concluded. Megami had gone even more pale than before
“W-what? We can’t leave! That vile bitch will win! Only I deserve Taro! Only me!”
“Of course you do, and we will see to it another time. But for now, we need to keep our heads down as the people simply aren’t clever enough to see that our views, your views, are the correct views” Her mother Tenshi explained to her darling daughter.
Kenchi, as expected, had run away to hide as soon as his sister returned home. He didn’t fancy being at her mercy again so one of the more merciful maids had hidden him away in the corner closet behind the door so he could hear the impending argument.
“But you don’t understand! He will already be soiled when we get back! I can’t have him be soiled like this, I can’t” Megami tried to explain.
“Megami, there are plenty of other pure Japanese men you can marry” Her father pointed out “I know had badly you want Yamada and you deserve everything we can give you. But, I don’t think that we can win this battle” Kenchi had never heard his father admit to defeat, that was a real shock.
“W-what? You’re admitting defeat like that?”
“We don’t have a choice. We can go over to China for a few years until this blows over, common people are forgetful creatures...”
Megami felt desperation flood her senses ‘No! I can’t lose to her! That’s not possible!’ the image of Ayano behind a red lace curtain in black lingerie enticing her perfect Taro riddled her mind. She could see him going to her like a hungry dog following the scent of a she-wolf.
Everything around her began to go dark, her hands shook as the wrath built up inside of her before everything started to come at her.
Megami turned around as her father sat down, ran behind him and snapped his neck. Ichirou fell to to the floor dead, before her mother could process what happened she too was dead from a broken neck. Kenchi threw his hands over his mouth to prevent any sound from coming out as Megami ran out of the room. The screams of man and woman alike pained him. Then, he heard her go upstairs and he made a run for it.
He bolted past the bodies of maids and servants alike, with snapped necks or stab wounds.
He fled into the gardens and into the woods. The lights of the Saikou family home were flickering, as if they could sense the newfound madness of the heir to it all. He ran on, knowing that stopping would mean certain death if Megami was onto him.
Then, another manor rose from the hills and he scrambled up the gates and threw himself at the door.
One of the maids rushed into the room where the Yamada’s and Aishi’s were residing. “Kenchi Saikou is pleading to be let in my lady. He says that his life is in danger”
Itsumi jumped up “Let the boy in, a young man of eleven is not going to be any harm to us.” Thus, a shivering Kenchi Saikou ended up in the room on the verge of tears. Ryoba looked at the boy and all sorts of alarm bells were ringing in her head. Why was he so thin? Why so many burn marks on his hands?
She stood up and approached him like she would a wounded stag. The silver haired boy looked up at with distant blue eyes and indicated one thing.
“Hey...” She started gently “What’s your name dear?”
The boy continued to shake was he answered “K-Kenchi” She sat by him. “Hello Kenchi. My name is Ryoba. You look hungry, what’s your favourite food?”
Taro regarded the boy with both intrigue and suspicion. He went to speak, before Jokichi stopped him. He whispered in Taro’s ear “Ryoba has a special gift with damaged children, let her see why he is here...”
Taro nodded, grabbing onto Ayano’s hand as she observed the scene before her.
“Dad says that my favourite food is caviar… I don’t like caviar. I like chicken” Why was the lady before him acting so… nice? He didn’t know her, yet here she was talking to him.
“Well Kenchi, I’ll tell you what. I’ll cook some chicken for you, while I do that. Would you like to tell me how you got here?” Kenchi nodded vigorously, following Ryoba closely to the kitchen with a butler. Taro looked at his future mother in law with awe.
“I told you she has a gift. Though, I believe whatever this Kenchi boy tells her is going to be awful.” Jokichi noted.
True to his words, Ryoba walked in with Kenchi following closely. Chicken drumstick in hand. One of maids took him into another room as he chewed away at the drumstick. Then, a deathly white Ryoba explained what he had told her.
“Ichirou and Tenshi Saikou are dead, Megami killed them in a fit of rage. We should be prepared in case she figures out that he is here” Itsumi barked the orders at the guards and put the manor on lockdown. Ayano looked out the window, what she saw horrified her.
“D-dad! Mum!” Her voiced trembled as she pointed outside towards the harbour. Smoke was rising from one of the streets, a house fire underway. A fire that looked like it was coming from the Aishi home.
Ryoba burst into tears upon looking at the scene. “T-that’s my home! That's the house I grew up in with my sister!” She wept. Jokichi held onto his wife tightly. “That girl meant to kill us all! I won’t stand for this!” Jokichi hissed. The guards in the black uniform returned, several items in tow.
“My lady, we just managed to get these out of the house before the fire started” They placed the items on the table, it was all they asked for and more. Jokichi breathed a massive sigh of relief “Thank god, we have something”
Then, commotion started from outside the door. Ayano heard a familiar voice cursing the impurity of her family. “She’s here!” She yelled just before the door burst open, revealing a bloody Megami with madness sewn into her eyes. She looked at them.
“Look at all of you, how pathetic” She spoke in a monotone voice. “I was rather hoping your parents had burned in the house that they were so found of. But, I guess I’ll have to kill you all now”
She cut through the guards with such ease that Itsumi was genuinely scared for her life and the lives of those around her.
Megami threw a knife in Ayano’s direction.
Ayano dodged only to find that Ryoba had caught it.
“You dare try to harm my own child in front of me. You’ll have to kill me to get to her!” The mother Aishi roared at the top if her voice before charging at Megami. Megami pulled out another knife before slicing at Ryoba’s eyes, for her to move out of the way.
Though she could feel her heart pounding in her head, the only thing should could think of way protecting her daughter. Ryoba sliced at Megami, catching her cheek as the blade sliced through some of her hair. Megami touched the blood running down her face. “Interesting” She flatly noted as she went to cut her opponent open.
Ryoba jumped away and dodged, only for Megami to get behind her and drive the knife into her lower back. Her legs crumpled and Ryoba hit the ground with the knife still in her lower back, she went to pull it out only for Jokichi to send her flying into a column by the wall.
Her head would bruise for sure, she turned her wrath on the father who was telling his wife not to move. She pulled yet another knife out before going to grab Jokichi by his hair.
She had forgotten about Ayano who had snuck behind her and slammed her face back into the column. Now her nose was broken, judging by the pain and the cracking sound. She wailed in agony, it was more like a demonic screech. She sliced the knife through the air madly while doing so.
Megami opened her eyes and charged Ayano again who kept dodging her attacks. “For fuck sake, die already you half caste filth!” She screamed until it appeared that the girl was cornered, she raised her knife only for Lady Yamada to try and wrestle it out of her hands. The pair struggled for what seemed like an eternity before Megami got the better hand and shoved the blade into Itsumi’s lower torso.
“MUM! NO!” Taro charged at Megami and started strangling her. Megami dropped the knife and pleaded with Taro in her madness. He then threw her aside, running to His mother’s side as Megami tried to catch her breath.
“Mum! Please! Don’t leave me! I need you please!” Taro garbled as he pressed his hands on the wound. Itsumi had started to cough up her own blood.
Megami reached for the knife on the floor as she knelt down, Ayano had come up behind up and grabbed her by the arm. She stretched it out and drove her foot against Megami’s elbow, the snapping sound was one that she would not forget for the rest of her life.
The wails of agony, being let out by the girl with silver hair, were of such intensity that Ayano thought that she would go deaf. Thankfully, the police entered at that moment to find the carnage. It was obvious, with the blood, that Megami had been the killer. All twenty servants and maids of the Saikou’s were found dead like Ichirou and Tenshi, at least ten of the Yamada servant and the five guards were also dead.
An ambulance arrived not long after, taking Ryoba and Itsumi to the hospital at lightening speed with Jokichi in the back. When Megami was apprended, she bit into an officers neck and tore his throat out. She went for Ayano again, but Taro grabbed her and drove the knife that she had dropped through her throat.
“You will never harm my family again” He growled as he let her bleed out on the floor.
In the end, it was decided that Taro have been acting in defence of his betrothed and would not be arrested for doing so.
Ryoba had recovered from her wound but had been left permanently paralysed from her hips below. Itsumi too recovered, to Taro’s relief. He wept with joy when she had awoken. “It’s alright now Taro, I’m not ready to go just yet” Itsumi had soothed her son.
She never told him about the fact that she saw Ren in her comatose state. She was stood in Kyoto where her first flower shop had been but the place was completely made from marble. Ren was sat on the bench where he had been when he first fell in love with her
“Hello Itsumi” He smiled like he had seen her just yesterday
“No sweetheart. It’s not your time yet” He told her “You have our son to look after still, and his beloved. She’s a lovely girl, you respected my dying wish”
“How could I not?” The tears were falling down her face “You begged me. I would never deprive you of your greatest wish, to see Taro marry for love like we did. Despite it being an arranged marriage”
Ren kissed her passionately as the light enveloped them. “I’ll see you when your time comes, I’ll wait for you my love”
There you are. What do you think?
submitted by Lady-Sparti
to Osana [link] [comments]
2023.03.28 17:54 Pisces811 My (25f) friend has fallen out with me (27f) because I got a boyfriend.
When I met my friend, me and her were going through a really terrible time with emotionally abusive, cheating boyfriends. Very similar situation and everything.
I left mine after he cheated. I was in a pit of despair but she kept going back to hers. I have every empathy and understanding in the world for people who go back because it is THAT difficult to tear yourself away. You wouodnt know unless you experienced it. But everyone has a line. Some people's lines are thinner or thicker than others but every single person has a time where they go "enough is enough" you just know its time to be done...apart from my friend. She just literally doesn't have it. He's chased us in a van, cheating multiple times with multiple different women, she's known this and went back any to have a piece of that attention. He potentially gave her and STD and everything and still went back. She will criticise and obsess over all the girls he's cheated with. Berating them for going back but never questioning herself. I have always been empathetic and there for her but at the same time told her she needs to hold herself accountable and get some help. She'd go for drives, stalk him and everything. I don't know what he had to do for her to not go back. She's finally away from him now and has been since November.
It got to the point she made an account to stalk my own ex without my permission and telling me random details about his day. I was trying my hardest to move on and I eventually met a nice guy. I was super excited to meet him but didn't mention it too much infront of her. Before we met in person, she was trying to put things into my head and then insisted it was to prepare me incase it didn't go well or he wasn't who he said he was (we are long distance) It's normal for a friend to be protective, but it was incessant. I couldnt help but get the impression she wanted it to go badly.
If ever I mentioned him she would go in a huff and be super dismissive. I know for a fact I didn't go on about him so she had no cause for being annoyed.
After about a month me and him made it official and she couldn't be more annoyed. I went through a horrendously abusive time with my ex and she saw this. I got psychologically and physically ill. I thought she'd at least be happy for me. She only ever asks about my ex and its just so weird. I ask to hang out amd she ignores me for days. We did something nice for her birthday and not for mine. This was extra upsetting to me as I found out on my birthday last year that my ex was in another country with another woman he hid from me. So this year I really wanted to enjoy my birthday with my friend. I am absolutely not the type of women to ditch her pals when she gets a bf. I value my friends so I'm really shocked that this has happened.
What should I do?
submitted by Pisces811
to Advice [link] [comments]
2023.03.28 17:44 TolkienJustice TJ timeline 55(TJ55): 2036 Republican Convention Round 1
Please don't vote for the candidate just because of their views aligning with yours. I also made neotrumpism a more modern and compassionate version of Trumpism. Please let me know if you think I translated the ideas well! The primaries now determine the six candidates who go to the convention because I like conventions, they're fun story stuff.
POD isn't relevant, but here's the lore relevant to the election right now:
America has just finished a war with Fascist Assad Syria which attempted to invade and Genocide Israel. Israel easily repulsed the invasion, but Turkey warned Israel against occupying Golan Heights. Then, a Syrian bombing plot against the President was discovered and the bomb exploded, failing to kill the American President but killing Florida Senator Maxwell Frost.
This outrage resulted in American forces invading the rogue Syrian regime, which after the death of Putin had grown more radical and openly Fascist.
The economy is stable, and the Republican Party is far different than in 2023. Full of Liberals, Progressives, Moderates, and Conservatives the major differences in both parties are mixed and for each candidate after the 2027 Party Reforms of each after the party truce.
(We'll use fictional characters for the most part from political families, because it's easier)
The Liberal Republican Governor of Michigan who is well known for balancing Unions and Business, raising the minimum wage, cutting taxes for the middle class, and raising them on the rich. He has helped fund Green infrastructure with subsidies and has been part of the major revival of manufacturing in America after the 2028 Make America Manufacture Act(MAMA).
He's popular in his state, winning 61% of the vote against a popular candidate who polled well against other popular Republicans.
He's greatly reduced crime in his state while avoiding police brutality. He's been popular for his free trade school policy.
He supports tariffs and a balanced foreign policy.
The Moderate Conservative Senator of Nebraska, he is popular for pursuing middle income and lower income tax cuts while also seeking to balance the budget and push aggressive market based green energy, and market based affirmative action incentives. He's an advocate of fair trade and is not hostile to Unions, but favors business interests.
He's pursued aggressive policies on crime and supported a lot of affordable housing subsidies.
He supports an aggressive foreign policy, especially against the PRC.
The founder of "New Libertarianism", he's a popular Governor of Missouri for his tax cuts for the poor and middle class, raising them on the rich, and encouraging market based affirmative action and market based pro union tax incentives offering tax breaks to unionized small businesses, in combination with a small businesses bill of rights.
He's raised taxes on the rich and wealthy, and pursued school vouchers that emphasize lower income and students of color's needs. His aggressive "Green Freedom" policy has been seen as a popular market based Green New Deal alternative.
His wage subsidies program has been popular, though controversial, and he champions it as the government providing what business can't, while supporting businesses.
He supports defending nations from invasion, but otherwise supports neutrality and using market based free trade geopolitics.
Seen by many as the first of the great neotrumpism candidates, he's won bipartisan plaudits for his comprehensive tax reform plan that gives a tax credit to all minorities adjusted yearly to inflation in addition to modest tax cuts for working and middle class anericans, while raising taxes on the rich, balancing the budget and funding universal preschool and almost universal healthcare based on a combination of Trump's old pre-presidency proposals.
He has made history by picking the first woman of color lieutenant governor in Wisconsin history and had pursued a popular UBI program combined with tax raises on the rich.
His policies on housing and crime have been popular and balanced police reform and strong law enforcement. He supports an American First foreign policy, but also is anti imperialism and pro human rights like most neotrumpism candidates. He pursued a balance of market and government based green energy programs.
Another neotrumpism candidate, and Governor of South Carolina. He's African American and has pursued aggressive police reform while generously funding law enforcement.
His policies of tax credits for lower income voters in combination with expanding SNAP and TANF while pursuing tax cuts for the middle class have been popular. Like others he's raised taxes on the rich, and has also pursued pro union policies through the market, yet is beloved by small businesses and big business for his aggressive financial deregulation policies.
His education policy has targeted low income and communities of color with an aggressive charter school program with higher standards -the area he's pursued regulations the most -and graduation rates have increased.
He supports free trade, and has pursued aggressive renewable energy policies. His foreign policy balances America First and Human Rights with protecting allies.
Latino Congressman from Florida who gained fame for his eulogy for his friend Maxwell Frost, he also is one of the founders of "Small Government Progressivism". He's supported aggressive tax cuts for everyone, but also aggressive pro Union Policies, raised the minimum wage, market based green energy programs, and affirmative action tax incentives.
He's pursued a market based progress works administration, a market based "Green American Subscription" to solve environmental problems, and has been firmly neutral in Labor and Business disputes.
His crime policies are quite liberal, and he's also supported contracting out defense policy arguing they could have cheaper defense if they hired mercenaries instead. He takes a case by case basis on interventions, focusing on the tax burden.
He supports making social security a public option anyone can purchase into but supports expanding it to be universal, and has pursued a private company based universal healthcare program. View Poll
submitted by TolkienJustice
to Presidentialpoll [link] [comments]
2023.03.28 17:40 Fuzzy-Monitor-8113 Lie of Vision
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“ The eleventh of February: submitted by Fuzzy-Monitor-8113 to creepypastachannel [link] [comments]
This recording is the property of 'Local Medal Mental Asylum' anyone that isn’t a staff is not allowed to listen to this record. You have been warned.
Patient No. Fifty-nine, Claire Dean. Age: twenty-two. Birth date; unknown. Date she was brought to hospital: The eleventh of February. Following audio will contain the recording of staff, Michael Cox, reading the diary of the patient, aloud.
‘The third of February:
Dear diary… Haha, I love starting like that. Anyways, remember when I told you that I was going to ask Mike out? I DID TODAY, AND HE SAID YES! OH MY GOD I CANNOT BELIEVE IT! WE ARE GOING TO GO ON A DATE AFTER FOUR DAYS! But… What should I wear? I want to look as beautiful as possible, maybe a dress? Of course It’s going to be a dress what am I saying, just which one? Red one? Maybe, the black one my best friend bought me on my birthday. Oh, God, I also have to wear a make-up. Or maybe I don’t… GOD I AM SO EXCITED. He is so handsome and and I just, I am just so happy! I guess I will be spending a lot of time in front of the mirror. GOD, I am excited. Let’s hope that I won’t mess this one up. I will write tomorrow, I am kinda tired and to be honest, too excited to write right now.
The fourth of February:
Hey there! So, I met with my best friend Alice to tell her about Mike yesterday. She also got so excited for me. She is great. I also asked her about what I should wear. She told me to go with the black dress. I have a feeling that she picked that just because it was her present. But, I also think that black looks better on me. It matches with my dark brown hair and light brown eyes. Gotta say, I looked at the mirror for almost TWO WHOLE HOURS TODAY. I am not even exaggerating, I literally spent TWO HOURS, just changing the make-up and clothes again and again. At the end I came into the conclusion that, the black dress is better and I was going to go with just lipstick and some powder. With that out of the way, oh I forgot, I am also going to wear my black heeled shoes. That’s kinda it. I hope nothing bad happens. You know everytime I go on a date, some shit goes wrong and ruins it. I can straight up cry if that happens with this one. Because Mike is a prey that exceeds me and I am not thinking of losing him THIS early. Anyways, that’s pretty much it for today.
The fifth of February:
I don’t know what is happening. Some things have been pretty off since yesterday. I just have to write about it since no one else believes me. Okay, so I woke up, went to the bathroom, everything is normal. When I looked at the mirror, I saw my reflection with black and empty eye sockets with a messed up looking mouth. I know this sounds weird but no one believes me I just don’t know what is happening. I screamed and ran away instinctively. First I tought it was because of my sleepy brain or blurry vision or something like that but no, it wasn’t any of that! I went back after regaining my breath and I saw it again. My reflection was just, it looked really messed up and deformed. Even tough I knew it when I went back for the second time, I still got really really scared. It was my reflection, I am sure, I was doing what I was doing in front of the mirror. Everything was same except for the facial features. I couldn’t believe the idea of that reflection is how my face was looking. Everything felt same, I checked It with my hands, unlike that reflection, my mouth didn’t have skin between my upper and lower lip. My eyelids were still there and I even touched my eyeball to check if it was still there. But no, everything was fine. So what was that creature? Can others see it? What does It want, can It really be me? I am so scared, and confused, it is currently 11:08 I usually write when I am about to sleep, but this is scaring me so much. I just called Alice on face time to show her my reflection. She answered, I showed her and she asked me what was wrong. She said that everything was okay. I still saw it but she couldn’t, even though It was through my phone. I went outside and stopped the first person I saw, ‘Is my face okay?’ The man said that I am beautiful and continued to walk. I stopped a woman and asked her if something looks wrong with my face. She said that there is nothing wrong with it. I went back to home and went in front of the mirror. It was still there. I took a photo of it. Photo was showing the reflection with its messed-up face. I once again, went outside and stopped another stranger. I asked him what he sees in the photo. He said that it is a picture of me. I asked about the eyes and mouth, but he didn’t knew what I was talking about. I sent the photo to Alice and asked her the same thing. She said that I was looking good and nothing was wrong with it. Am I seeing things, I thought to myself. Was I going crazy? Or were they just lying? What if they were decieving me? Okay, I shouldn’t think like that, these doesn’t make any sense. This is not a science-fiction or horror movie, this is real life. I am just, I don't know I'm going to take a doctor appointment for tomorrow hopefully it is something curable, because I don't think I can live like this...
The sixth of February:
Today, I went to the local hospital. I live in a pretty small city, so I was able to get in and see the doctor without much trouble. And no, it wasn't over. I woke up and again, I saw my distorted reflection. I was hoping that it was some sort of a bizarre and absurdly realistic nightmare. But no, no it wasn't. It was all real and it was still happening. I returned from the doctor. But, but he said that everything was fine. I also asked if it was physiologic but he simply said no. No, I wasn't going crazy, it wasn't real either... So what was it, what was it. I'm also going to go to the local asylum now, I lost a lot of money but I just CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS. I returned. They said that, that... I talked with a physiologist, he said that everything was fine. It was all fine... My mental health was okay, I wasn't seeing things. I asked him if anything is wrong with my face... But no! No no no! He even called me 'beautiful.' I cannot take this. I'm used to being called as 'beautiful' BUT I DON'T NEED ANY SELF-CONFIDENCE NOW! I NEED TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON I DON'T NEED MY APPEARANCE BEING APPRECIATED RIGHT NOW, I NEED ANSWERS.
The seventh of February:
I cannot take this... Today I went outside. I saw some birds. They were beautiful. I was beautiful. I asked Alice if I was beautiful... She said that I look tired... Then I asked again, she refused. I asked again, again and again. She finally accepted the truth. I was beautiful... I am beautiful... Wait... WHAT!? WHO WROTE THESE!? WHAT THE FUCK!? I DIDN'T WROTE THESE! Or... Did I..? I don't know, I can't remember. Today has been really busy. I went to the cinema with Alice. The... Film... Which film was it..? I don't know I can't really remember, I just know that I went to the cinema with... What was her name? Wait, I will remember give me a second... A-al... Al...ya..? I just... can't remember, my mind had been so messy for the past few days. The reflection thing... Keeps going and I just feel like I am going crazy, I know that the doctor said that I am fine but, I don't feel like it... The physiologist also said that I am fine... So I should be fine... Right..? I am fine... I should be fine, why would they lie? Or were they lying..? Who were they..? Where did I go..? Who was that man that, talked to me..? What did he say..? I remember that some people said that I am... Beautiful... The girl that I went to... Somewhere with, also said that I am beautiful... It should be right! They are right! THEY HAVE TO BE RIGHT! Wait... Who are they..?
The... I can't remember the date... I haven't left the house all day, some people I don't know kept calling me... I didn't answer, they might be scammers, some girl I saved as 'Alice.' I don't know her. Someone I saved as 'Mike' also called. I don't know these people I can't remember them, I don't remember saving them, I don't remember... I looked at the mirror. I remember liking to look at it. I just... Well, I can't remember but, I have a feeling that I like it. I like looking at my... 'Beautiful' face. Why was I looking at the mirror? Where am I? I am in an unfamiliar... Building. There are pictures of some people I don't know. A girl in some of the pictures look kinda like me... Except for her weird looking- light brown eyes. My black eyes and her abnormally skinless mouth were the only exceptions. She didn't had skin between her lips, which doesn't make her look like me THAT much... Except for those, she looks like me from any and every other perspective... She looks like me... Who is she..? Whose photos am I looking at? I really need some answers. What I know and can remember is... I am beautiful... That's what they called me before. So, that's what I should be, right? I am beautiful... Who were they..?
Who am I? What am I doing? What is this notebook? What are these weird-looking drawings? What do they mean? And how can I know them? Where do I know them? WHY CAN'T I STOP? WHY CAN'T I STOP DRAWING THESE WEIRD SYMBOLS?! WHAT AM I HOLDING!? WHAT AM I DOING AND WHY CAN'T I STOP?!
End of the diary. So uhhhh, I guess I gotta read the report. Or whatever the hell this is, I am tired.
clears his throat Ehm.
Police report: People have reported to police that a possibly mentally-unstable girl have been roaming around and telling random people that she is beautiful. Due to her messy and dirty look, people thought that she was homeless. After getting detention because of harrasment, and finally being arrested because of her unstable behavior, she was transported to the 'Local Medal Mental Asylum.' She is currently in monitoring. Her main doctor will be 'Doctor Alan Anderson.' She seems like she doesn't say anything except for the sentence 'I am beautiful.' She had been acting calm and passive. She walks around his ce-... R-room... and repeats the sentence. This recording will be paused, but also, will be updated about patient's progress in the future.
The third of March:
It had been twenty days since we paused the last recording about patient No. Fifty-nine. Patient's healing process (mentally) hadn't been progressed or regressed. But her physical state has been really weird and probably going worse. Patient had developed void-like empty eye sockets that doctors failed to explain. She also developed some skin between her upper and lower lips.
The fifth of March:
Patient No. Fifty-nine had been executed (murdered) due to unknown symptoms and laziness of the doctors. They failed to understand any of the reasons. They didn't knew what they were facing with and it was far too complicated for a small and low-budget asylum to deal with. Doctors got absurdly scared and none of them wanted to try to cure her or even understand what was wrong. Patient no. Fifty-nine was executed with a needle on the fourth of March. Her death was depicted as suicide. Her file got closed. Asylum never talked about it, ever again...
End of the tape."