Is jahmyr gibbs hurt

My husband and I have been doing our best to try and divide the labor of our new baby and our new apartment, but I feel like the brunt of everything is still falling to me.
Baby (1 month) is formula fed (not my choice, I couldn't produce milk) so the hubby and I trade off every other night for feedings. The problem is he sleeps on the couch on his nights to "sleep lighter" so he can "wake up" and frequently I'll wake up to the baby crying and hubby snoring (at least once, every one of his nights). By the time it wakes me up all the way in the bed room, the baby is screaming bloody murder. Out of exasperation I suggested I take over night feeds, but both of us know that isn't fair and won't work.
During the day I feel like I take on the majority of playing with and entertaining the baby while he's awake. Feedings and putting him down for a nap are pretty much 50/50.
On top of all that I do the majority of the cleaning, I have to ask for help, and I have to remind hubby of his personal responsibilities because he just won't do his own stuff otherwise.
My husband cooks, but only 3 or 4 days a week... The rest is takeout or frozen meals. And I'm left to clean up the cluster fuck he leaves in the kitchen.
Also we have a couple pieces of furniture that hubby promised to assemble before the baby got here, but they're still in boxes, and we still haven't finished hanging art in the nursery.
He's not a misogynist or anything. He wants things to be fair; he's just not always the most thoughtful and his (diagnosed) ADD is untreated and wreaking havoc on his ability to hold it together. But getting a doctor is just another thing he needs to get done.
I'm so tired and hurt and don't know what to do about him... Any advice is welcome.

long story short: i can't stand my in laws and neither can my husband but he has complicated feelings and tons of guilt. FIL invites himself over a lot and despite being told "XYZ time is good" he will just show up whenever, resulting in my husband feeling "held hostage" waiting around for him.. well today, FIL and a cousin are supposed to come over. husband agreed to noon. why? i have no idea... noon is when kiddo is supposed to nap. FIL and cousin are now running quite late. husband is delaying kiddos nap so that she FIL and cousin can see her in order to not be "rude" to them. i know he's not hurting her by doing this (plus she's 2 and beginning to drop her nap) but it's pissing me off SO BAD. am i over reacting? btw FIL and cousin all live in the area and FIL doesn't work, it's not like these people are making a long journey or rearranging complicated schedules.

I grew up in an era of messages about how dirty and awful sex was. Even sex between a husband and wife was shameful to talk about. Gays and lesbians were completely excluded from society (and blamed for the "plague" of AIDS). If you could scrounge up a Penthouse you could read the crazy (and completely fictional) letters about deviant sexual behavior, and you might hear rumors about "S&M," but kinks were if anything even less welcome than queerness. And gender bending, after having a brief heyday in the 1970s among celebrities like David Bowie, was definitely off the table. These things could literally get you killed.
I've had a filthy mind as long as I can remember. As a kid, for a while I saved my pee in Pringle's cans (why? WTF? who does that?). I learned to masturbate before I could produce semen and it freaked me out when white gloopy stuff started coming out one day. I tried all kinds of things to help lubricate my jerking off (toothpaste was my biggest regret). When a book appeared explaining human reproduction, I was obsessed with the pictures of naked people at various ages. I started drawing my own pictures of naked people with guesses about the female parts I'd never really seen clearly. When my friend found part of a video porn catalog on the street we puzzled over terms we didn't understand but were mesmerized by. I started writing stories about sex, and because I didn't know much about sex at all, I didn't know where the boundaries were. Was one girl eating another girl out about cannibalism? Maybe? What if two sisters had sex? Would that be hot? I tried out a lot of weird things just because they occurred to me.
I was also influenced by my Catholic upbringing. There was so much iconography of a nearly naked Jesus, whipped and tortured, suffering and nailed to a cross. And other martyrs being pierced with arrows or cooked on grills or all sorts of gruesome torments. These were supposed to be our heroes and role models. We were told that our bodies were corrupt and sinful, and the fun parts of our bodies were the dirtiest, and we were nasty and worthy of punishment if we touched ourselves there. In fact, we risked eternal torment by choosing profane pleasure over divine purity. It made it really hard for me to love myself, and hard to stand up to the bullies who tormented me. With the values we were taught, how could we not grow up fucked up?
One thing that helped me as a teen was discovering the Rocky Horror Picture Show. The whole community around Rocky Horror celebrated sluttiness! It showed off its kinks and its queerness unashamedly! The weirdos and outcasts took center stage and transformed everything into a party where it was okay to be yourself, even if you were a nerd in your socks and underwear and glasses who got tricked into sucking a dick for the first time and kinda enjoyed it. I got called a fag all the time, and that filled me with shame and fear and rage (as it was supposed to). But at Rocky Horror, it wasn't the worst thing to be. It was way better than being an asshole! I learned that it was okay to love queerness and kinkiness at Rocky Horror, and to be proud of being a weirdo outcast. There were a lot more of us than I thought, and we all had different stuff going on, but we could be there for each other. As Frank N Furter sings, "Don't dream it; be it!"
But still I've kept the extent of my kinks secret all my life. I fantasize and consume porn and stories about extreme scenarios like piss drinking, incest, bestiality, and more. Although I have a wonderful and fulfilling vanilla sex life with my wife, I've always been ashamed of the places my brain goes and the things that turn me on. I've tried to stop daydreaming about these things, but it never seems to last. These kinks are a part of me, and I keep trying to reject them instead of accepting myself for who I fully am.
Reading incestconfessions this spring, I came across the story of a 25-year-old woman whose older brother arranged a bet with her. Like most stories on that subreddit, it seemed fake and farfetched. But Rainbow posted a verification photo, and wrote honestly and plausibly about how awkward it was making out with her brother and then progressing on with sex of various kinds and capping off with dating for nine months. More photos followed, and lots of ask-anything chat posts that made it seem like she was a real person with a real history and details that were too mundane to be made up.
I was fascinated by this story, but I was still fighting against embracing my kinks. I tried to take a break from porn entirely, but I was still checking on Rainbow once a week. She solicited ideas for kinks to try, and though the one she went with was inducing lactation (very hot), one of the others was doing something sexual with a dog, and that really got my attention. Even if she'd posted it as part of the list as a joke, it showed a willingness to consider really the most extreme end of the spectrum. I created my first alt account on reddit to start commenting and voting and interacting rather than just lurking.
As Rainbow prepared herself a gangbang, I participated more and more, sending her my first tribute and chatting directly with her. And as I got to know her, and as she displayed and celebrated her own sluttiness and kinkiness, I realized that this fantasy that is part of me is truly not sinful or evil, but just another aspect of my humanness. Forbidden desires are okay to express and explore as long as they're consensual. As Rainbow explored some of these extremely taboo acts it helped me accept a part of myself I'd always been ashamed by. The shame and degradation of the forbidden has a fun appeal of its own, actually. It doesn't have to feel bad the way it has all my life.
Rainbow has a whole community of fans around her, too, and getting to know them has also been a big deal to me. We've been able to talk about fun and silly things, hot and sexy things, but also really tough and painful and fraught things. We've been able to help each other with our problems. The fact that Rainbow has trusted us so much and been so vulnerable with us, that she's shared and interacted and shown us not just the fun parts, but the parts that really hurt, angered, and frustrated her. And still she keeps coming back to share more and reveal more--it's such a good example of leadership and community building. Yes, we're all here to get off, but those of us who've been paying attention have discovered something deep and valuable, too. Is it ridiculous that a girl sleeping with her own brother and spending a night with Ollie could be a prophetic voice pointing us to a better world? Is it crazy that she could help me heal parts of me that religion and marriage and therapy couldn't? Maybe so, but this is the absurd world we live in, and finding you all has brought me more joy and peace than anyone could have guessed.
We all need to do our part and be like Rainbow. Be brave, be vulnerable, try new things, share yourself with strangers, love your weird and warped self. Fight against bullies and intolerant people. Be kind, be playful, be queer, be slutty, and love each other.

SO i've posted before, and I wanted to say - last week i had the worst time of my life. my soul cat, my only friend in this world, died from FIP. his chest was absolutely filled with fluid, he couldn't pee or poop and his breathing was seriously fucked up. so i told my dad three days prior to putting down my cat that something was wrong.
he came home, checked the cat, said he was fine, and went to his room, angry at me. to be fair, chester was acting okay he was just breathing hard and not peeing ( this isnt okay at all under any circumstances, but to dad it was "okay" ) he texted my mom in the hospital undergoing severe cancer treatment, and told her i was overreacting.
three days later, i euthanized my cat due to his suffering, and the fact he only had a week or two at best. i will never forgive my narc father for hurting me, for telling me my feelings were invalid and that i was "overreacting" to his sudden illness. ( he raged at me, telling me how stupid i am and that its just constipation and i should stop being dramatic for attention )
i just wanted to get this off my chest, thank you to anyone who cares enough to respond. i hope you're all okay, i know this shit is HARD and it never gets easier for us.
he says he feels bad, but that's hard to believe.

I will be honest - I miss my ex alot. I blame myself alot. I feel hurt, I feel taken granted for and I sometimes feel lost. She is always on my mind.
Sometimes I want to break NC, it's easy to give in to feelings. Being blindsided was traumatic as hell. I wish, she would communicate with me. I really do but she never did. It seems like everything was on my shoulders. Seems like I always to blame and I allowed it. I put in myself in a box alot of times.
I can only assume what wrong on my part. I told some people the whole story good and bad. Alot of them say i was taken for granted and I was used. It sucks.
I plans for us to get married, be a stepdad, move together to florida. But I forget that when things get tough, she always breaks up with me and leaves. Usually I would call when she would block, beg, and plead for us to work on things (roughly about six times).
I changed so much for this relationship, If i tell you some of things I did both good and bad. You will tell you, it's a blessing in disguise. I loved my ex more than she will ever know.
The way she broke up with me was not her, it's like who is this person ya know? Did I not see the red flags. I didn't at all. I was madly in love with her.
One day I will post all the things but hey there is nothing worse than putting someone ahead of you, supporting them, encouraging them, being manipulated by future faking and this other shit and then being told to "take all the love, you have and put it towards yourself".
That's the biggest fuck you, you could of said to me. Now I know what I meant to you.
Oddly I still want to call you and make things right. I own my actions. But dam do i wish you would call, i just don't have the strength anymore to chase you, beg you, and plead with you.
Goodluck finding someone as loving, supporting, attentive, as I was to you.
Original Story:
Two Months and 12 days (still i miss you and want you back after 6 years) : ExNoContact (reddit.com)

My ex girlfriend broke up with me with the excuse of “not feeling the same way anymore” and “want to get to know myself”. She’d recently met a guy and I literally told her “I’m scared this new guy is my replacement”, to which she responded that nobody could replace me and there was no one like me. Fast forward a month and a half and this guy comes to our city and they start dating.
I’m struggling with my self worth now. I can’t understand how 3 and a half years of pure unconditional love could mean so little to her. I would have bet everything I had that it if we were ever to breakup it wouldn’t be like this. I have support from A LOT of friends who say one day she’ll realize what she lost but I still can’t deal with this and it still fucking hurts. What can I do?

Hi, I have wide shoes in middle and toe area and narrow heels. I need trail walking shoes to go on a short hikes. I am looking for wide toe box shoes with arch support that don't hurt my ankles and heels. I have bunions and plantar fasciitis. Io far, I have tried Alta lone peak 6, hoka bondi, keen, brooks, Merrell, topo athletics, hoka challenger ( men). The Altra doesn't have arch support. Other shoes keep sliding down from the heels and cause blisters or heel pain. Is there any other brands or type of shoes I should try? The orthofit comfort shoes are the only ones that work as walking shoes but they don't provide enough support on the rocky trails. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated. Thanks

So my mom and dad got divorced when I was 12 (I am now 40). When he was incarcerated, my mother felt she was finally able to leave this abusive person and filed for divorce. The court had ordered him to pay child support to her of $100 a month for 3 kids at the time, to which he was unable to pay due to his incarceration. (OR so this is what I remember being told).
I have not had any contact with my dad since he went to jail. I am now thinking about possibly starting some kind of legal process to sue him for back child support. I live in NY and I'm reading that there may be a statute of limitations on that, so my question is, is there any type of law otherwise that would be useful here? I want to hurt him monetarily, since that's the only thing he ever cared about, and I feel like maybe our lives wouldn't have been so miserable had he been able to pay something to help support us all those years. Thank you.

I just watched War Dogs (2016) and was going to watch Lord of War (2005) but found that Lord of War isn't in the Related Movie section at all. Is it just based of of similar actors? because honestly that seems very limited to the potential it could be. Before anyone says, Plex Media Manager can solve this, I run my server on a synology NAS and can't for the life of me figure out how to make PMM run on Docker. Ideally, If I watch War Dogs, and scroll down to Related Movies, I Lord of War should be the #1 recommendation along with other movies about the Iraqi and Afghanistan War (American Sniper, Hurt Locker, etc.)

I am seeing so much being circulated online about possible motives for the Nashville event (to say it one way). I see on Reddit shit like "well maybe this person was struggling with their identity" or "I've been hurt by the church too so I can understand xyz".... what..?
There is NOTHING, no justification, no reason, no MaNiFeStO that justifies tiny children being killed. I feel sick by the situation but even more sickened to read on top of what happened, posts or comments by the people that can "relate" to their assumed possible motive. Like I've been burned by church too (IF that even was a reason) there is nothing that I can relate to with killing children over it.
Not only that- but how irresponsible to even consider sympathizing online. You NEVER know who is reading that shit. Harmless to you maybe, until it's not.
And before you say "Well if we can understand it we can prevent it" no you fucking can not, gtfo. You know that there are no main characters in this world, right? That we ALL go through our own levels of trauma? You think understanding everyone's story might make them not shoot up a school??? Nope, this is self serving projection shit and I am not tolerating it.

Life goes around in circles I've felt this through all the many hurdles The pain and suffering repeats Like a despicable friend it comes back and greets But it's fine to embrace them from time to time It'll make you somber and sublime Like the stoics of the West, They think getting used to pain is the best The life they live without sadness and fears Horrible to not even give dead friends your tears But it's fine if that is what they choose We learn from them by stepping into their shoes
The world is too large, it's astronomical The things i go through, compatitively feel comical But it still hurts like crazy All the memories i have of you feel hazy Should've known about this trap called love The poision i feel every then and now Is because of this mind game, I believe "feelings" was it's name Oh how nice it would be To throw these chemicals out of me But it's fine i guess To be a complete mess Because I'm learning from this The process of catching and letting go of bliss
Life teaches you a lot of stuff But for humans it's never enough We are hurt throughout our lives Willing to play with fire and dance on knives We feel so much but rarely we learn Unless we actually cut ourselves or burn There's no way things go into our head But all these efforts will only Leave you dead Is learning worth dying for? Leaving behind your lifelore For people to be hurt all the same, Some feelings nobody can tame
But we can't stop learning Just like how we can't stop breathing Once we stop breathing we stop living, Once we stop learning we stop existing But what are we breathing for if we ain't living? Your love is not what makes me feel like I'm living What if there is no god? Then this life is a one shot I wanna die feeling like I've lived through heaven Cause its not like our lives are numbered seven Like a pampered blessed cat It's too easy to live like that There's nothing you can learn From life where Passion does not burn
It's okay to take it easy if it gets hard Relax and walk through a peaceful boulevard Learning can get stressful and rough But it'll stay with you all your life as a handcuff Like shackles they pull you down on peaceful days Like an angel fallen out of grace It will deceive you with a gentle kiss No wonder they say ignorance is bliss

This is partly a vent, partly "Am I the weirdo?".
I'm not interested in having a bachelorette party/weekend at all. I'm getting married later this year, our engagement is relatively short (6 months), and I'm also facing a move to a different city and a change in my work arrangement after our wedding. On top of that, I have been consumed by wedding planning and while it's starting to get better, it has been quite stressful at times even with my mom and a planner helping. My close friends are scattered all over both sides of the country, and some have kids. While i could have a small bachelorette with just some friends, I hate the idea of anyone feeling hurt or excluded. I'm already quite happy that all of my friends will be attending my wedding and I'm hesitant to ask even more of them knowing that some of them are paying a lot for flights on a holiday weekend and going so far as to pay for their parents' hotel rooms just to have on-site babysitters.
Having a few low key weekends in my current city means a lot to me just to unwind and keep a clear head so that I'm not overwhelmed and exhausted on wedding weekend. I have never been to a friend's bachelorette party and really felt super relaxed afterward. I definitely worry that if I had a bachelorette party, I would just feel stressed and behind. And I'd have to invite my future SIL if it was widely known that I was having a bachelorette party, and I defnitely will not be able to relax around her.
My fiance has been nagging at me about why I haven't been jumping to do a bachelorette party, and in turn, it has been really bugging me. It's not like I ever asked him not to have a bachelor party or have fun with his friends, and I have reminded him of that. I finally asked him what was bothering him so much about it that he keeps nagging me, and he says that he thinks I'll regret it one day and he worries that it means that in the future I "won't be fun." I find this response patronizing and insulting.
Am I being a total weirdo here? Any brides not have a bachelorette for any reason and truly go on to regret that? Does not having a bachelorette mean you can't also be well-adjusted and socially adaptable?

I really miss my TF so much. I saw him in February and I told him I would text him. I kind of turned into the runner by choice, because I want to focus on my studies and on myself for now and text him when I feel secure enough with my grades to say hi and maybe get distracted by him every now and then. I don't know if that makes sense, but to me, this is a better option than waiting for him to text me and wondering when and if he will all day.
But right now, I just want to text him so bad. I feel like my life is in shambles. My best friend lied to me for three months and I'm afraid that she won't see why that hurt me so much because she has a different view ont he whole situation. And I don't want to lose her over this. I really want to text my TF and talk to him and just feel complete again, but I know that it's not the right time, neither for him or even myself. I'm not ready, I know he's busy right now and it just wouldn't be right at this time.
It's just so hard being a TF sometimes.

So since I was in high school I wanted to learn how to drive. I didn’t get my permit until I was about 20. I had a driving instructor that came over to my house to help me practice driving but that didn’t work out. Then when I was about 21 I think when I practice turning I almost crashed into the gate but luckily nobody got hurt. My dad was with me and of course I had my permit. I haven’t practiced since then. I got my permit the second time when I was 25 but couldn’t find the time to practice so that was a waste. I don’t mind taking the bus. At least I know how to get around but now at 33 I’m reading the drivers manual and I’ll probably have to get a new one. I should have kept practicing and I would have gotten my license by now. The freeway is what scares me the most. I’m going to have to start over.

I am 30(f) having problem with my husband 35(m). We have been married for 12 years. I suffer from lupus and some other chronic issues; I need a lot of help because of my health. He is always supportive about that, even when I had not been able to pull up all the responsibilities I should have in an equal relationship. I know I can't get sexual when I have flares and he satisfies himself at those times. Additionally, I decided I don't want kids but I know my husband wants one. I have always felt guilty about these and have openly told that I would totally understand if this is a reason he wants to divorce/seek other ways. He had always been understanding about my health and decisions. He helps around the house and generally we have fun together.
During the pandemic, I quit my job due to my high risk. I went to a straight depression and was suicidal at that time because I felt so useless. My husband also got laid off. He said he would like to get a loan and start business. I agreed to contribute some of my money to get started. Over the years, there were many red flags...I kept asking him whether he is doing well in the business. He said he is making break-even, but needs help. I took out loans to support ourselves and had been depending a lot on my credit card. I realized he was struggling and also suffering from depression. I kept sending him ways to help his mental health and business. Crafted marketing plans and ads (I have expertise in that). But he never seemed to use any of that and that made me angry. I even asked him, "Do you really have a business? If so, why don't you want to promote it? Please tell me. I don't want to find out". Anyway, long story short, I found out his loan got rejected and never started the business. He has been lying to me all these times when he went out for "business work" and took money for "business help". He said since I was so depressed at that time, he felt he couldn't tell me and then time passed. I can understand that (I was indeed very suicidal); but it's 2023...SO much time has passed after that. Now that I think, he has hidden other things in the past like with unpaid bills or forgotten things... I have tried to work on my angethe way I react after that. But, this is too big. I still reacted calmly and said I need to know the details so that we can make a plan. We probably should move back home (we live in an expensive city) and do things to find ways to get out of debt. But it has been two weeks and he is always tired or depressed or something. I am trying to control my temper since I do realize this is what probably lead him to not sharing. But it is getting really hard and am reacting too harshly when he doesn't do the dishes on time or forgets the toilet seats or picking up the dog poop.
I would like to do couple counseling. But I work hourly now; and with this sudden knowledge of financial issues, it feels like I can't give up more money. Sometimes, I want to make him to force making a plan; but it bogs me why he is not interested in it. And I don't want to make a plan if he is not into it and just feels like he is doing it so that I calm down for a bit. Sometimes, I feel, may be we should get separate ways since he is definitely not getting sex or kids from me; and I am not sure whether I can really trust him again. Sorry for the long rant. So, I can do some help with advice or any book/resources that can help me make this better. I find myself in tears at work, while doing dishes and I just want to be over it.
TLDR: Husband lied about having a business that he doesn't even have. I feel cheated and hurt.

My daughter is 2 years and 6 months. We were playing and she accidentally poked me in the eye. I told her to be careful around people’s eyes, and we continued playing. She then looked me in the eyes and paused for a moment, and poked me right in the eye. I pulled her diaper down and gave her butt a smack. She went downstairs crying to her grandfather and now I feel like shit. Of course I’ll go repair, but wow I didn’t expect to snap like that. My wife and I don’t necessarily practice gentle parenting, but we don’t believe in spanking either. While she won’t remember it in the long run, she now knows I’m capable of hurting her because I have hurt her. Pretty bad feeling.

I am working for some charities and I have defined email accounts for each one.
Now, when clicking on one specific account I receive an error message and the welcome page for that account does not open. This used to work when I created the accounts. I'm not exactly sure what happened.
XML Parsing Error: no element found Location: chrome://messengecontent/msgAccountCentral.xhtml?folderURI=mailbox%3A%2F%2Fxxx-info%40xxx.mail.server-he.de Line Number 1, Column 1:
I can open the Inbox, read and write mails and everything else. It's just the start page and only for this one account. It doesn't hurt because email is working, but it's annoying.
I've looked for the file in omni.ja, and it is there and looks like valid XML. I'm wondering because the path chrome/messengecontent/messengemsgAccountCentral.xhtml looks different from the URL in the error message (the second /messenger part).
What can I do to repair this?
I'm on Fedora 37 Cinnamon.
$ md5sum /tmp/msgAccountCentral.xhtml e2085033321c71b89926ae76ae0aafe5 /tmp/msgAccountCentral.xhtml $ thunderbird --version Thunderbird 102.9.0 $ rpm -qa thunderbird thunderbird-102.9.0-1.fc37.x86_64

Welcome to HHH Listening Club!
This week we'll be listening to Baby Face Killa by Freddie Gibbs selected by yours truly.
Background
Baby Face Killa is the ninth mixtape by American rapper Freddie Gibbs. It was released on September 25, 2012. It is the first installment of the Gangsta Grillz series featuring Gary, Indiana based Freddie Gibbs.
The mixtape was announced shortly after the release of the previous street album Cold Day In Hell. There are 18 tracks on the street album and additional bonus tracks on the deluxe edition that were released on iTunes. The mixtape features guest appearances from Pharrell Williams, Dana Williams, Z-Ro, Young Jeezy, Slick Pulla, Ea$y Money, YG, Dom Kennedy, SpaceGhostPurrp, Krayzie Bone, Jadakiss, Jay Rock, Wayne Blazed, Curren$y, Problem, G-Wiz, D-Edge, Hit Skrewface & Kirko Bangz. The second track "Still Livin'" was featured in the video game Grand Theft Auto V.
Album: Baby Face Killa
Label: Independent
Representing: Gary, Indiana
Streaming Sources:

• YouTube
  
• Spotify
  
• Apple Music
  
• Tidal
  

Guidelines:
This is an open thread to share your thoughts on the album. Avoid vague statements of praise or criticism. This is your chance to be a critic.
Please keep any top level comments to 140+ characters unless you have a simple question to ask about the album.
Why do you like this album?
What are the best tracks?
Did it meet your expectations?
Have you listened to this album before?
What is your first impression?
Explain why you like it or why you don't.
Remember, people who participate in the discussion in a meaningful way will be entered into a drawing to select next week's album!

Hi all, I'm 13 weeks with my first child and looking for some support. I apologize that this is so long. My husband and I told my MIL & FIL about our incoming baby two days ago after getting our NT scan/NIPT results, and while not catastrophic, it went about as badly as I feared and I'm worried now about the rest of the pregnancy and my child's role in the family.
For background, my SIL is also pregnant at almost the same gestational age as me. However, she told the family about the pregnancy as soon as she knew she was pregnant, so the family has already been celebrating this for a few months (had a gender reveal, etc). My MIL has been very vocally desperate for grandkids for a long time so she was particularly ecstatic about the news.
I was very, very nervous when I found out that I was going to be pregnant at the same time as my SIL. My husband is the youngest of three and there is an ongoing dynamic in my in-law's family, dating back to pretty much as soon as my husband was born, wherein my husband isn't really valued, included, parented, considered, or cared for nearly as much as others in the family, especially his two older sisters. This tends to mean that we are left out of family things, or our thoughts and feelings just generally not considered. I have tried as best I can to be an affable and helpful addition to the family but end results has been pretty much nil and I also feel unwelcome. As an adult, my pregnant SIL has particularly become the "golden child" of the family so I have been especially apprehensive about how this dynamic might play out during our pregnancies.
Anyway, so we told my MIL and FIL a couple of days ago. At best, their reaction was extremely underwhelming, and at worst, pretty disrespectful to us. They gave us a perfunctory hug and told us congrats, but there was no big celebration, excitement, or really that much joy at all when we told them, which was not the tone AT ALL for my SIL's announcement (not that I was expecting parity with her, but it's not like a grandkid arrival in general isn't exciting news to them or that they aren't excitable people.) Given how much my MIL has talked and asked about grandchildren, it was very shocking how little she seemed to care about the news, and within 15 minutes she was back to scrolling on her phone.
Also, they did not really have any questions for us (e.g. no how have you been feeling? are you excited? how did you find out?) except insofar as they could ask questions that directly compared us to my SIL. Every single detail we shared was immediately met with nothing else but some comparison to my SIL. The hospital we have chosen, names, whether we got the NIPT, even the frigging size of our respective babies as compared to fruits, etc, etc, was only discussed in so far as it compared to what my SIL was doing. There was even one extremely weird point where my MIL insisted that we must have given her my SIL's ultrasound photo because it looked so much like hers. (?!?!?) On the whole, it was exhausting, and hurtful, and made me feel like nothing we were sharing really mattered to them. The combination of all of this generally conveyed the message that they - particularly my MIL - viewed us primarily as usurpers of my SIL's special moment.
My husband even gently addressed this with them in the moment (e.g. "We've been really anxious being pregnant at the same time as [SIL], and want to make sure that our pregnancy/baby is treated as its own individual thing and not compared to [SIL], just as [SIL] deserves the same") and they could not have been more dense about it ("Of course! We always treat you as individuals") and saw no connection between what he said and their behavior.
I could go on with many more details but in sum, the entire visit stuck to these themes without variation, and I am devastated. It seems like everything I feared about my experience of pregnancy and childbirth in my in-law's family is likely to come to pass, and I am so worried that my child is going to have the experience of being the least favorite grandchild, just like my husband does as the least favorite child. I feel small, invalidated, and worthless in this family.
Luckily my husband is very emotionally intelligent, supportive, and sees all these things about his family too. But my family isn't in the area (unlike his) and I don't have a strong friend support network, so I haven't been able to talk to anyone else about this and still feel very alone in facing all of this, in addition to the baseline emotional toll of pregnancy. Of course, all of this is also extremely taxing for my husband as well, and it really hurts him to be treated this way by his parents. From here, we know we need to have some honest conversations with my MIL & FIL about this dynamic, though I am not holding my breath for a positive outcome.
I feel horrible, and I am just looking for some empathy and support in all of this. Thank you all and this wonderful community in advance.

Hi, I just need some advice or something here. Back in September, I had a bunch of infected teeth. In November they finally pulled 8 teeth that were really infected. I've since healed from all of that, of course.
Well I just had my dental appointment yesterday. I was really hoping that she'd sign off on just getting the rest pulled. However, she gave me the same story as many others have: "you're too young, there's still some good teeth, you'll hate dentures, you'll never eat the same way again, yada yada ya." I told her that 3 of my siblings have no teeth. My parents got all theirs taken in their late 20s. And I'm tired of being in pain. I've got more fillings in my mouth than teeth. And I'm 30! She wouldn't hear of it.
I have a few teeth that mildly hurt at the moment, but I know given a couple of months they'll be full blown hurting.
I just don't know what to do. I've been begging dentists to take my teeth since I was 25. What can I do? Is there any dentist or place that'll get them out for me?
If it helps, I'm in Yakima County in Washington state.