Emiru no makeup

It's good to see you again, I'm sure you've been pretty busy lately. Don't bother ordering anything to eat, this shouldn't take that long. A drink might be in order though. Something strong. Nothing for me, thanks, I've work to do soon.
Now, while a social call would be pleasant I'm afraid I've reached out to you for some important business. I have seen the risen body of the king.
Sit down! Quiet. No need to make a scene, now. I can answer your questions once I've said my piece. We can leave the why for later, it's a bit complicated. Was a bit complicated. Simpler now, but... hard to explain. The how is an easier place to start.
You might think there's no way to slip by unnoticed somewhere as restricted as the exclusion zone - that they'd have sensor drones and satellites flag you the moment you stepped in and you'd be removed within minutes. In most places you'd be right, but the valley of the tomb is not most places. I'm sure you remember the beginning of the raid, before any of us knew what we were getting into. The whole place was covered in a haze so thick we had to tie ropes to eachother just to stay together, and what little sunlight made it through came down wrong. A thin, fetid color that should have been a beautiful gold but felt more like the yellow of rancid grease. The only other light that didn't die five feet from its source was from the constant flashes of actinic lightning that just so happened to drown out any radio signals.
I suppose they could set up the borders farther away, but honestly? I don't think they want to. Nobody sane would ever think of getting in, and they know they're not stopping anything that comes out. Better to let themselves think nothing comes in or out, that the exclusion zone is a formality to keep out the occasional crazy from wandering in. I think they're scared that if they keep too close an eye on things they'll see something that breaks that assumption. Something they don't want to think about.
I'm rambling a bit. The important part is that the only thing keeping me out was the patrols. They weren't much trouble though. Even outside the fog that place wears on you. Keeps you from sleeping right. Makes you feel like someone's watching. A few months of that, and I made sure to go in right before they got rotated out, and it's not hard to write off that figure in the distance as a trick of the mind.
Once I made it inside I knew things had gotten worse. The first few dozen yards were the same but past that I soon reached a point where no sunlight reached the ground at all. I found my way first by the the constant flashes of lightning, and, when even they had been eaten by the choking fog, and my flashlight served only to illuminate a yard or two ahead of my feet, by the pull of that damned place. I suppose I could feel it to begin with, that it was why I went back to begin with, but it was always in the background... Still calling me but ignorable, at least for a time... You can feel it too, right? Just over that hill to the North......
On second thought maybe I will have a drink. One moment.
Much better. Now, back to the story. It took me about an hour to reach our old base camp. I thought for sure it would have been destroyed but... Hmm? Well, yes, I did come from the opposite direction, but you're thinking too literally. A place like that is very abstract, much more about the journey you see, and the journey I set out on started with darkness, then the base camp, then the tomb, and then... I'll leave the end for the end, but the point is that I couldn't have passed them in any other order. It's like a story - the order is fixed once the book is printed.
From that explanation you might think the camp twisted into some metaphorical mockery of itself, or perhaps ruined to symbolize mankind's weakness, or some other similar thing, but what I came across impacted me far more deeply. It was intact. No, not intact, preserved. I've seen the old base camps from when we were cleaning out bandits, old tents abandoned for just a couple years to the sand when it was deemed not worth recovering them until we came along for some late cleanup, and it's amazing how fast the elements set to work on something not meant to stay in one place for more than a few days. It had been there for nearly a decade, with all the equipment we'd brought left in place, and yet not a speck of dust had found it.
I'm sure you recall how we were found afterwards, lying in the arid scrublands just outside the storm with nothing but our jumpsuits. I found our arms and armor there as well, neatly folded and placed in footlockers. Whatever made us flee, we didn't run in a panic - we calmly put everything in its place and simply walked away. We all said that we ran, though, that we had been chased. Isn't that curious to you? Probing my memory before the incident I still recalled panic, being paralyzed before an overwhelming presence, and yet I had nothing afterwards. Not a single clear image from after we breached the tomb. I said we ran because all I could remember was the fear, and that was the explanation that made the most sense of things.
At first I thought there wasn't much for me there besides the realization. The fuel cells had all gone dead, of course, and our records were all stored on the camp's computers. When I attempted to retrieve the memory cards, however, I found them gone - not just the cards themselves but the caddies that would normally extend to receive them. Propping open the spring-loaded slot and turning my flashlight to it, I could see that the entire computer was not without power, it had been entirely hollowed out. I will admit to having fallen into a bit of a panic at that, blindly tearing apart anything else electronic - no doubt the old base camp will prove far less preserved for whoever managed to stumble upon it next - but in all of them I found the same result. Even the displays had been stripped of their circuitry, leaving only black panels with not even a scrap of wire dangling from them to indicate they had ever been used as part of a larger device. Thankfully we'd taken purely mechanical weapons on that first expedition, and I took the opportunity to arm myself before proceeding, with great trepidation, to the tomb itself.
It was not similarly untouched. Most of the outer walls were intact, at least from what little I'd seen - those walls of some unknowable black material, broken up by countless gold adornments and engraved with what looked like stories of some great god-king. Carvings that would have found themselves perfectly at home in the stone burial halls of ancient Merkat or Hattesh, although I concede to not having looked too closely. I was far more focused on that great door where we had made our original entrance.
It had taken us hours to make that hole after the door had refused to open, even with the explosives at our disposal, and while the gap itself was thankfully still there, the edges had started to heal. That word, heal, is very important - nobody was rebuilding it. I saw no evidence of tools nor worldly methods of repair. Instead the edges had grown over with a bulging, fibrous mass that I took to be scar tissue. I attempted to take a sample, to see if any of the scientists could tell me its makeup, but it was just as cold and unyielding as the false-stone which surrounded it. I hurried inside after that, secure at least in the knowledge that if it was still growing the stiffness of it would make the process so slow as to not impede my escape.
Once inside the pull was much stronger, to the point I could barely resist it. Whatever those black walls had been made of was proving itself effective as insulation. I soon found myself abandoning any further investigation, only barely restraining myself from sprinting as I made my way into the central burial chamber...

I think I'm finally ready to come out to my mom. As ready as I think I'll ever be anyway. I'm worried about the letter though, every time I start thinking of what to write, it reads so harsh or hurtful, idk how much I really need to put out there, like I want her to know how serious this is, life and death, but there's some things a child shouldn't tell their parents...
I don't know how to strike a balance of understanding but firm boundaries, the severity of how important this is and how unforgivable certain things would be without hurting her or being very harsh because I attack when I feel vulnerable.
So far ik I want to explain the difference between drag, crossdressing, and trans identity. I'm going to tell her idc about pronouns or even dressing up rn because I'm not ready for social transition. I don't want to tell her about diy, but I will tell her tampering with my meds or sabatoging my transition will be unforgivable to me and the many reasons why.
I don't want to tell her how close I was to ending it all last year, or that I've been a walking corpse with an expiration date tied to her own since 16 and her own words 4 months ago galvanized me to chose life for the first time in over a decade, to choose to try HRT. But that feels pretty important to say if I want her to understand.
Or maybe it's better to be cold and clinical.
I'm gonna freestyle something real quick, please help soften when needed or any advice at all. Tw: all of em.
Hey mom you've had lots of questions this past year. I've deflected and deflected, refusing to answer, but not trying to hide it too much either, I know you've seen signs that we haven't talked about too, well it's time I answer them.
I'm trans. It took a decade to ever even attempt to experiment, so scared of it being something more, a year of questioning and research after the lowest point in my life last March, every step towards femininity assuring me i was right. I've been on estrogen for 2 months now and I'm only more sure now than ever. I don't expect your understanding or full acceptance, it's taken me a while to accept it myself. I only expect your compassion and love, the woman that's always been in my corner to remain in my corner as I enter the hardest fight in my life thus far.
This is not a sex thing, ik why you think it is, but Ethan is just a friend. I'm still a virgin and I'm not gay, I am bi, preferance is women, but still thats a recent thing i accepted too, but ik you don't really see the difference there either if I like some guys I must be gay, that's OK idc how you see it.
This isn't porn warping my mind, and if it was the drop in libido would nip that in the bud quickly, a boon I was not expecting, but honestly one of my favorite parts about transitioning so far and has helped my mental state a lot in addition to my brain now being on the right fuel. I've never been happier in my life than I have these past 2 months.
Crossdressers do this and it hurts no one. They do it for a lot of reasons but I am not a cross dresser, in fact I've only ever worn panties and one time a bra. I'm also not a drag queen, I have no interest in performing on stage.
Things had to line up in a very specific way for you to be reading this note right now and not another kind of note at some point in the future after the repression hit me when I was 40 with kids and a wife or something. Dad had to practically disown me for me to want to be selfish enough to say fuck it and choose to have some kind of fun before I died fully. As I've been truthfully half dead since as a teenager, who almost had his mom die in the hospital, i had decided that wouldn't even try and live through that pain. That led me to experiment which led to many many questions and a lot of tears and more than a few realizations and memories surpressed.
Through all the questions and steps along the way, my mask cracking and pieces of me peeking through, your words broke me outta that spell of half death and I chose life. You thought I was waiting on you to be gone for me to live like you were the problem. I had already accepted I was trans before then but I couldn't do anything because of the shame it would bring you. The drama, you're likely to lose friends over this if you choose your child and you risk losing me if your friends words turn your confusion or anguish over a future imagined version of me is dying into hate or spite.
I worry that you'll call me all the vile things what strangers and coworkers already whisper. That you'll run me out of our home over something somehow both as trivial as makeup clothes and the shape of my own body, and as important as life or death. Because your words the other day will never come to pass, when I said "I hate old men" grumbling about work, and you said "stop that, God willing you'll be one one day." I'll die first. Pandoras box is open and I can't go back to mere existence when life feels so nice.
Trying to force this lid shut will only at best sever ties between a mother and child and at worst simply snuff out my light for good. Oh and bonus it'd probably put me in menopause by now to stop.
I'm moving at my own pace I'm nowhere near ready to call myself a woman, let alone dress like one I do not expect you to call me one. HRT is slow, but at some point between the weight loss this all has inspired, yeah thats why I've stuck with it this time, between that and HRT growing boobs and the small things I'm working on like exercising and eventually laser facial hair removal, it's going to be hard to hide likely this year, well if im lucky like I have been so far.
Really don't know how to end this. I'm sorry this made you cry, I'm sorry if this brings you shame or embarrassment down the line, I give you full permission to talk about this with your friends, the only opinion I ever cared about is yours and Lana's, I'd rather not be out right now publicly or to all your friends, but I'll not hold it against you to seek consul from them either. Hopefully we can move past this and grow and you'll come to understand me better than the pieces I've let peek through all my life feeling like I had something to hide even from family, especially from family even.
If not, just know that I'll always love you mom, but stopping or going back to being your little boy is asking me to die. I'll always be your baby, I just hope you'll see a living daughter is better than a dead son, even if they're weird and you don't get it.
I love you mom ❤️.
Edit. Rereading this its definitely a rough draft, but not my usual word vomit. Is it too harsh, should I add more info about the actual process and what procedures I'm considering etc? Or idk I feel like with the right words said the right way and anyone could understand but people aren't rational, maybe I'm overthinking it or catastrophizing again. All I know is I'm coming out this month, it feels like a different kind of fear, before when I was asking for advice I was afraid and self destructive, now I feel vulnerable and afraid but self assured and more level headed than the panic ridden frantic energy I had last time I wanted to come out

Let's jet set off to Paris, mes petits choux! Fortunately for Paige but unfortunately for all of you, my healthcare coverage is really doing the most, by which I mean doing the least, and a lot of my snarky energy after work had to go into fighting with them to cover the same prescriptions they've been covering for the past over a decade, hooray for America. And then Paige topped this off by really putting out a half-assed turd sandwich of a vlog where 80% of it is her laying foundation on top of bronzer on top of foundation on top of bronzer. But for you, my little cabbages, I will do my best to recap any relevant points.
As always, here's the vlog Bingo card for playing along at home. I add stuff to it every week as new trends emerge, your prize for winning is... something I haven't figured out yet. By doing everyone's birth charts I learned there's a ton of Virgo energy in this subreddit, though, so astrologically speaking you should all be satisfied with a virtual shoulder pat and being told you did a good job and you're the smartest person I've ever met.
​

• We open on Paige "typewriting" on screen that she went to Paris for 48 hours to see her boyfriend play tennis and here's how it went, which I don't think she intended to but inadvertently gives off the sense that we're about to enter into footage of a hostage negotiation? It's almost like if you don't consume art and instead magpie various aesthetic details and cobble them together, you ignorantly imply a lot of things you don't mean to imply, but what do I know!
• The first four minutes of this vlog are unspeakably boring. I can try to make them interesting for you, but what's the point? Paige opens up a brand new notebook and writes PARIS in it with a Sharpie. It's intially unclear why she does this, but then it becomes abundantly clear as this goes on that it's because Paige thought she'd be there way longer and didn't bother getting much or really any footage of anything, and now is desperately trying to pad this sucker out so she can get a midroll ad. It's a bunch of out of focus nonsense. Here's the only things that happen that are of any note:
  • One of her giant checked suitcases when she packs is just labelled "work". I'm now entertaining wild speculations about what could take up an entire checked bag that she just had to bring to Paris under the assumption that she'd be there longer than 48 hours. My personal bet is that it's half denim samples, half reams of paper that she had Amanda print out with random graphs or pictures of generic clothing pieces and the text under it just reads "BUSINESS BUSINESS BUSINESS"
  • When she gets to Paris Tommy comes downstairs wearing a green t-shirt. Later we see Paige wearing the same shirt but she dresses it up with a black bow in her hair. It looks dumb.
  • Paige says hi to us from the bathroom mirror wearing a face mask after moisturizing her whole body because the airplane left her soooo dry. This is only notable because she claims she's going to rest for a bit by "reading some of her book" (we get it, Paige, you read my recaps, but I still don't believe you read anything besides that) before she unpacks, and also because she can't actually get the sentence out so it cuts every two words, and because it's handheld footage it's not steady, which means you kind of get this weird, jostly experience watching her try to form a sentence.
  • Paige and Tommy go to the great shopping mecca that is Paris and appear to go to Kith and Sephora
  • The food they eat does actually look pretty good
  • The time breakdown of this is two minutes on the plane, two minutes in Paris, and then we get into the bulk of the video
• Getting ready time! Okay here's where it gets mildly more interesting, and by interesting I mean there's more to discuss besides half-assed B-roll. Before we start I should make clear, we're about to embark on a getting ready that is 15 minutes of a 20 minute video, and in this time the end result will be Paige looking almost identical to how she looks at the start of it. This detail stuck in my brain because I put this on for a first watch-through this morning while I was getting ready for work and putting on my own makeup. At first I was convinced she had done her makeup beforehand and was just mimicking putting it on because she was too vain to be seen without makeup, but re-watching it now that I'm home I don't think that's the case. I think she's had a lot of work done to make it look like she's always wearing makeup (semi-permanent makeup procedures, eyelash extensions, etc) and then genuinely spends a long time caking layers upon layers upon layers to look exactly the same. Which honestly makes me kind of sad. But I suppose Paige is contractually obliged to have at least one unwitting self-own she stumbles into every vlog where the curtain is pulled back and we gaze upon the vast chasm of insecurity inside her that comes from her being just aware enough to know that she knows nothing about what she's talking about at any given time and if she stopped being pretty to look at more people might point that out.
  • Paige is really tan, you guys, and she feels like makeup doesn't work as well on her skin when she is. This is probably because not once in this entire routine does she PUT ON SUNSCREEN (even though she says prepping your skin before sitting in the sun all day is super important), like not even a BB cream with sunscreen in it. I have no hope of reaching Paige but girlypops! Wear! Your! Sunscreen! Get a spray tan if you want later, but skin cancer is real and not fun and even if you avoid skin cancer, being out in the sun like that makes you look like a leather raisin by middle age. Like she's sitting on a clay court? What are we doing here.
  • If you were wondering if this is in fact a very long undisclosed ad roll, sure is
  • Ah, one of the serums is so good, she actually got it while on a skiing trip. you know, because she's a skier.
  • The reason Paige didn't come to Tommy's first match is because she had "a lot going on at home". Really essential stuff like paying other people to install a pre-built shed for her, buying a second horse, eating unwashed vegetables - important stuff.
    • Oh my apologies she had a denim sample to approve. Not just any denim sample, a WHOLE denim sample, and that is what was in her "work" suitcase. Because idk international mail doesn't work? I mean I sound like I'm advocating she follow Tommy around and I actually think it's better that she doesn't, but also I'd rather she said "I missed Tommy's first match because it was really important to me to spend time seeing friends and family and recharging and resting" instead of pretending she was soooo busy being a Serious Business Girl. Like just be honest that following a man around isn't exhausting and boring and I wouldn't care.
  • I will give it to Paige, she does admit her contour routine with like a dozen products is over the top, and if she left it at that it'd just be that she enjoys the ritual of that and it's fine, but she's like "I swear guys it's so good it makes such a difference" and that is where I draw the line. Contouring is the greatest scam the Kardashians have ever pulled and I do not trust anyone who says otherwise. Like we all did that exercise in middle school art class where we had to shade in shapes different ways, and it didn't ever change the shape, it just made it look like the light was coming from different directions. Paige says this is because contour "adds light and dimension and makes your skin look more healthy" but you know what else does that? Hydrating, wearing sunscreen, and NOT PUTTING ON FIFTEEN DIFFERENT TYPES OF FOUNDATION AND BRONZER. The same concept of "you can change where the light hits but not how the shape looks" that applies to drawing an egg applies to makeup - contouring does absolutely nothing unless you're a drag queen and also you're Trixie Mattel (hallowed be her name AND her commitment to producing really quality orange blushes. If you have warm-toned skin at all, use bronze, peach, and orange blushes this summer and thank me later).
    • Also Paige clearly has not been paying attention because contouring looks and this cakey, Meredith Duxbury, early aughts Beauty YouTuber look is very much not the vibe? The hot thing right now is really natural, light, dewy stuff a la Rare Beauty or Glossier, and it's heavily inspired by K-Beauty and C-Beauty looks. Even I know this and my makeup looks better on me than Paige's does and it's not even my job to wear makeup or know about this stuff! No one's paying me to do this! Maybe they should be, I guess! (It shouldn't be, I'm very good at doing my face and my face only.)
    • Honestly it looks a lot of the time here like Paige is putting mud on her face, and everything she shows and applies to her face is mud-colored, and it's just dingier and dingier and she would look so much better if instead of all of this she just did a nice warm terra cotta sort of blush and some highlighter. My kingdom for something to bring actual warmth or color to her face and not just look like she's smearing sparkly dishwater on herself.
  • Paige blathers more about travelling and authenticity and how she travels a lot but also doesn't travel that much? I don't know it's all so meandering and nonsensical and I give up. The tl;dr is what I said before: she's a homebody who hates travel but knows if she just did the things that made her happy and let herself be boring, people would stop watching her, so she's trying to straddle an impossible line and since she can't admit that's what's happening, her explanations get increasingly convoluted and her definition of "authenticity" or us "getting it" comes to mean "whatever I like at the time is authentic and if it doesn't work out or backfires on me it's because I was feeling forced to be inauthentic, because I am authentically perfect and always right".
    • See it's because she's NOT A CITY GIRL, it's not that she doesn't like TRAVEL, it's that she doesn't like travelling to CITIES because she's such a COUNTRY GIRL AT HEART, that's why she lives in a FARMHOUSE in CONNECTICUT, which is practically the sticks.
    • "I got some really funny comments about this from you guys, I was actually cracking up" Paige says and then shows us comments of people kissing her ass for no reason, which she probably directly or indirectly paid for telling her how much better her home vlogs are.
  • Paige puts on some MAC setting spray and this is where we get into Peak Paige, she tells us this story about how when she lived in NYC she made friends with a girl who worked at MAC and at first Paige didn't believe that the setting spray did anything but then her friend told her that unlike other setting sprays, the MAC stuff "leaves a layer over your skin that like... helps your makeup combine smoothly, so that's why if you love the MAC Fix Plus more than other setting sprays, it's because it actually has science behind it"
    • I call this Peak Paige because it's something that's so obviously rich with lies while simultaneously very likely being an undisclosed advertisement that you could spend hours unpacking this. Like which part is the lie, that Paige made a friend? Was this "friend" someone she talked to more than once at the MAC store? Why did Paige say "combine" like it had a d in it? What does she mean by "it has science behind it", like, how does Paige think other setting sprays, or for that matter other makeup works? Does Paige think about any of this at all? Does this not make sense because it came as part of an ad read Paige got in her many, many PR packages we've seen her get from MAC? We may never know! It's a mystery lost to the sands of time!
  • There are chunks of glass in Paige's palette because it broke but they're just going to have to ~make it work~ because she's so tough and roll with the punches and quirky like that! I mean she literally made Tommy take her to Sephora in the vlog the day before and it's a totally brown palette which there's no way she couldn't find another of at a Sephora in Paris, but sure Paige.
  • Paige while using the Benefit brow stuff: "I strayed away from this stuff for a second, don't know why, think it's because I get sent so many products" really had to add that in there.
  • Oh thank god she finally added blush and it makes her look a million, trillion times better
  • "Don't worry" says Paige as she applies stuff, "I'm going to leave links to everything I use for you guys". Oh you're going to try to make money off this by using undisclosed affiliate links? You don't say! It was super subtle, the clearly narrated ad copy and pop-ups every time you used a new product didn't give you away at all.
  • I will say this for Paige, the girl does do a good cat eye.
  • Okay this is insane, Paige uses a powder to cover up her roots? What is this, 1776 the musical? ROOT COVER UP POWDER???? I don't color my hair, is this a normal product???? I still say it's giving Founding Father. Powdering roots. Unbelievable. I hate everything about it.
• Paige shows us two dress options, the set she wore and a much more modest, much cuter dress that's essentially an a-line pink polo shirt. I really, really liked the first one on her, but she vetoes it for being too "casual". The second one that's a set, on the other hand, doesn't ook as coherent because it's a three piece and requires a cami underneath the jacket, it looks hot and itchy, and the shorts in that heavy material look ridiculous and don't fit her body well so it's giving diaper. She of course went with the second one.
  • She's wearing it with her new Chanel loafers. They were a gift (she doesn't say from who) and she's obsessed with them, hashtag not a designer girl.
• Anyway Tommy loses and they go out to dinner, the end. On a 1-10 scale with ten being the most, I give it a 2 for actually being a well put together vlog, a 3 in terms of Paige being a privileged unhinged weirdo. She can do better on all fronts.

I wasn't going to do a trip write up at all, but I'm planning a return trip in the Fall and I realized some of the things I learned on my first trip might be useful for other people, so here we go! I don't often see post write ups from people who are specifically into rhythm games/ arcades/ anime stuff
 
Dates: March 8 - 24, 2023 Background: Planned this trip mostly for myself but one of my friends decided to tag along fairly last minute. I had planned to spend the whole trip in Tokyo but the one thing she wanted to do was Kyoto, so we added a side trip + a very pleasant day at a Ryokan. I used Wanderlog to plan (HIGHLY recommend, this site is amazing), and my basic daily itinerary was morning shrine > pick an area to explore and have 1-2 major things per day. The person I was travelling with ended up taking a long ass time to get ready each day, so most of my morning stuff got cut or rearranged. Costs: I will fully admit I did not budget for food/ shopping, 100% vibes. I simply do not acknowledge what I spent

• Flight: $1,500 (Delta from MSP > SEA > Haneda. Direct from MSP had not resumed yet)
• Hotels: ¥314,000 (Roughly $2,300 USD for all 3 hotels total) [¥205,000 (Tokyu Stay Tsukiji, 15 nights) + ¥30,000 (Tokyu Stay Kyoto, 2 nights) + ¥79,000 (Kyokoyado Muromachi Yutone Kyoto, 1 night)]
• Shinkansen: ¥42,000 for 2 round trip tickets from Tokyo/Kyoto and back. Roughly $300 USD, machine did not take foreign CC only cash

Highlights

• The Kingdom Hearts concert, I maxed out my luck on this trip and we were able to see this on it's last night in Tokyo. Absolutely incredible!!
• Sushi Yuu, Roppongi (omakase sushi for about ¥20,000 per person, we paid more with drinks)
• ShibuyaSky, the open air viewing makes the experience so much better, plus there's a bunch of different spots to hang out up on the observation deck
• Fushimi Inari, the whole shrine blew me out of the water, absolutely must experience in person
• TeamLabs Planets, so few things live up to the hype and this is one of them
• Golden Gai, the bars were so much fun, got the full experience of a salaryman pissing on the side of the konbini

Lowlights

• Caffeine- if you are addicted to non carbonated caffeine like I am be prepared to be disappointed. The monsters are only 40mg compared to America's 150mg+. I'm glad I brought caffeine pills
• Tsukiji market is really not worth going out of your way for, it's nice if you're near it but it's really just a fish market + insane lines for most of the food
• I'm still mad about how bad the food was at the Square Enix cafe is, at least we got coasters + placemats out of the deal. This was genuinely my only bad experience in Japan
• Everything on this subreddit told me that people in Tokyo don't really care about tattoos, however they do really seem to care about colored hair. I have very long, bright ombre hair and I was a bit of a sideshow attraction, including people taking photos of me in public multiple times. Probably the most frustrating part of the trip was being stared at constantly
• Japanese thrift stores love old American clothes, I was definitely let down by the majority of these

Goals:

• Buy anime stuff
• Play rhythm games
• Go thrift shopping
• See cherry blossoms
• Collect shrine stamps (goshuin)

Advice:

• TAX FREE SHOPPING: This has to be first because no one mentions it?? There are 2 types of tax free, discount and rebate. Everywhere has a minimum for tax free. Don Quijote you have to go to the separate tax free counter, and they will seal the bags shut. You're not supposed to use the tax free items in the country - I didn't know this and did it anyways? There seems to be no repercussions unless they open your bag and count every individual KitKat. I had to open the bags to repack everything anyways. The places that do rebates are generally malls, you bring your receipt + passport and they'll give you the 10% back in cash (minus a fee). When you get to the airport, you scan your passport after you drop your luggage, indicating you made tax free purchases. You do not need to keep your receipts anymore
• Don Quijote does sell luggage but Ginza Karen is cheaper
• Besides the standard things that every single trip report has (get a suica, you'll walk a lot, etc etc), the biggest thing I learned is not to go to an area without at least 1-2 specific goals in mind. For example, I had given us like a half day to go around Shibuya/ Harajuku, but because we didn't look into what malls or stores we might like to go to, we ended up wandering pretty aimlessly and not really enjoying the area. This happened a few different areas we went to, so I decided that in the future I would pin some stores on Google Maps and try to make it to those specific stores
• Install LINE and set up an account. It's crazy how much connects to LINE. For me the biggest thing was 1) making Sushiro reservations and not having to sit in the store for an hour plus waiting for our table and 2) being able to grab a chargeSPOT to charge my phone. I brought a battery pack but at this point it must be like a decade old, it took the entire night to recharge and died on me during the day a few times. I have a Pixel 6 Pro and was literally constantly charging my phone
• If you're coming from the Americas, don't try to do something on your first night. Get your Konbini dinner and go the fuck to sleep
• Getting from place to place can take longer than expected, you'll have to navigate the stations, find the entrances (sometimes hidden in malls) and exits (sometimes closed), don't make plans too tight together
• Navigating Kyoto was so much more confusing. At first our Suica cards didn't work because we apparently didn't tap out at a station in Tokyo, so we were buying day passes and paying in cash on the bus. Some of the buses have 0 English and 100% Kanji (navigation difficulty: extreme). Suica cards DO work in Kyoto so if you're having issues go to a gate with an attendant and they can help
• It can be weirdly hard to find bathrooms, most konbini have them but you're supposed to ask the cashier if you can use them. I speak very basic Japanese but hammed up the gaijin card here and would just ask to use the toilet in English, no one ever told me no Weeb specific advice:
• If you want to do pop ups (like the Jujutusu Kaisen Animation exhibit), a Japanese e-sim will be a lifesaver. You need a Japanese phone number to do SO much, they really make it extremely frustrating to make reservations without it. I did manage to make reservations for the Square Enix cafe though, the write-up is on my profile. (Was it worth it? Absolutely not, worst food all trip, -3/10)
• Prices are all over the place for figures, especially prize figures. There's a solid chance you might buy something and see it cheaper at the next shop, however going back/forth between shops in Akihabara can be a huge pain in the ass. I'd recommend 1) making a list of things you want the most and 2) setting a per item budget and a total budget. A lot of the anime stuff was cheaper in Kyoto as well
• You can find a ton of gachapon stuff at Surugaya, so you can just buy what you want and don't have to gamble. Surugaya bins are organized by series
• Use collabo-cafe.com to find cafes and pop up events you might be interested. Plan ahead because reservations can be hard to come by

 
Now on to the super detailed trip report! Here's the big album if you don't want to look through photos separated by day. Warning for flashing video
 
Day 1 (travel)

• Landed in Haneda around 3pm. Immigration + customs took about an hour (we did the visit Japan web ahead of time and had both QR codes ready). There was virtually no lines anywhere
• It took about an hour to navigate to the hotel. I chose to stay at the Tokyu Stay Tsukiji because 1) it was really cheap, 2) it was close to the Ginza line, and 3) it had a washer in the room. Although the location was slightly inconvenient for late nights, I'd say it was totally worth it for the ability to grab food in Tsukiji market, and the room was pretty large compared to some other areas of Tokyo. In fact, the room was so cheap that when we went to Kyoto, we opted to not check out of the Tsukiji room and just leave the majority of our possessions there. This didn't cause any issues and made travelling on the Shinkansen way easier
• I thought we were built different and could do some stuff this evening. We ended up walking to the Donki and being assaulted by sound in every direction. 7/10 didn't discover the 2nd floor until days later. At this point exhaustion kicked in and we got a Lawsons dinner and crashed

Day 2 (Akihabara, photos)

• Going to Akihabara on our first day in Japan sure was a choice. Thankfully neither of us suffered jetlag on the way in. Checked out like 10 different game centers and a ton of anime shops. Managed to find the only Monster Rehab of the whole trip here
• Konbini lunch + strong zero! That flavor was terrible :')
• Dinner at the Monster Hunter cafe (no reservations required). Expectations were low but my travel partner is a huge MH fan. The food wasn't bad but the drinks were awful. The ambiance is nice and there were definitely some regulars there playing MH on the consoles they had set up
• The new Namco game center had like 12 brand new Taiko cabs and all of them had phone mounts so you could film yourself playing! I was really intimidated by everyone there being extremely good so we didn't play any games here

Day 3 (Shibuya & Harajuku, photos)

• Breakfast at Tsukiji outer market since we were already there
• Went to Shibuya Loft for the Bravely Default pop up shop
• Checked out Tower Records
• Ate lunch at Japanese McDonalds
• Went to Takeshita Street. TBH this felt like in-person AliExpress, I'm sure the charm of the early 2000s is long gone
• Visited Hachiko
• Shibuya Sky Observatory

Day 4 (Asakusa, photos)

• Started at Kaminarimon Gate & went down Nakamise shopping street. It was very crowded on a Sunday but I enjoyed it immensely, you just need some patience to get where you want to go. I liked trying all the food, most of the food stalls here were cash only
• Senso-ji temple, bought Goshuincho to collect stamps
• Ate lunch and dinner in the area, there's a ton of food options
• We ended going all the way over to Yoyogi park as well but nothing was in bloom. Because it was overcast the park looked really sad

Day 5 (Shinjuku & Kabukicho, photos)

• Now is the time to come clean, I'm a huge Yakuza/ RGG fan. In the morning I had my Majima birthday cake delivered by PRIROLL. I pre-ordered it and chose the delivery day where we didn't have morning plans. It comes frozen and needs to defrost in the fridge. While we left Majima to chill, we made the pilgrimage to Kabukicho to see the iconic gate. It was raining in the morning so we hit up some arcades then went shopping
• There's a really cool mall that seems anime-centric (I believe it's called Shinjuku Marui Anex). It had a Godzilla store, Cinnamoroll Cafe, a JJK pop up, and best of all... A Surugaya. These stores have bins where everything is ¥100-300 and we ended up buying way too much in every one we came across
• Went back to Kabukicho and explored a bit, went to Golden Gai and drank at a handful of bars. Almost missed the last train because I drunkenly insisted on a final game of MaiMai. 10/10 staying in Kabukicho next time

Day 6 (Ikebukero & Rippongi, photos)

• The plan today was to check out Ikebukero and Roppongi, but we ended up spending so much time at the first mall that we didn't really do anything in Roppongi besides get dinner. Went to the Pokemon Mega Center and the cafe. The main cafe was closed so it was just take out, all the food was really cute but the waffles were kind of terrible
• Gashapon no Depato Ikebukuro was super overwhelming. A lot of the smaller gashapon stores are somewhat organized by what is in the machines, this one just felt chaotic, and it went on forever
• Sushi Yuu was incredible, I didn't take photos of every single course but I was so full that couldn't finish my dessert at the very end. The owner speaks some English and I made our reservations by messaging him on Facebook

Day 7 (Yokohama, photos)

• We didn't get to Yokohama as early as I would have liked - I took us out way into the suburbs to try to find this Yakuza plushie from the claw machines. I looked up the locations on the Sega website, unfortunately this machine was extra rigged and I couldn't win it >:[ On the bright side all the rhythm games had no one else playing them
• Took the cable car over and went to the Cup Noodle museum. Unfortunately we didn't have a reservation so we had to come back later. Found some cafes in the area and had a late breakfast
• The museum was really small, the main draw is making your own Cup Noodles. Entrance costs 500 yen and this is an additional 500. We had some trouble navigating this part because no one spoke any English
• Had dinner at a pie restaurant that was 10/10
• Explored a bit of Yamashita park (Yakuza 7, anyone?) I was kind of disappointed I wasn't able to see this during the day
• Walked around Yokohama Chinatown & visited the local Round 1 ;)

Day 8 (Kyoto, photos)

• I bought the Shinkansen tickets to Kyoto the evening before, so we weren't able to get great seats. The machines are also a huge pain in the ass and don't take American CCs, so plan ahead here
• It took us longer than expected to figure out how to use the tickets and read the signage, so we weren't able to get food before and I had to have one of the train bentos. I knew it was going to suck and it was worse than expected :(
• You can bring a full sized suitcase and just put it in front of you, seeing other people do this was unexpected
• My travel partner was destroyed at this point so she rested in the room. I went to the National Garden and Imperial Palace alone. The sakura were just starting to bloom and the weather was great, loved it. The National Garden is SO huge that I only ended up walking up the west side before I tapped out
• Checked out Heian-jingu shrine + the giant torii, I went to another smaller shrine with a great view but I can't remember the name
• We did photoshoots at ESPERANTO Kyoto. There's basically no reviews from foreigners about this place but it was fantastic!! Their online booking form didn't work for me, so I emailed asking for a reservation. I emailed in Japanese and English and they replied in English. They gave me time options and I replied with what package and room each of us wanted (the website says they require a deposit but they told me they didn't need one). When we got there they did our hair and makeup, and then you pick your kimonos out. The photographer spoke pretty decent English and we didn't have trouble communicating with anyone else here. They had our photos edited and printed about 30 minutes after we picked which ones we wanted. The whole thing took about 3 hours (it was longer because we used the same set room). I don't want to include my photos but I did add a video of my hairstyle because she knocked it out of the park
• Ended the day with okonomiyaki, one of my favorite Japanese foods

Day 9 (Kyoto, photos)

• Fushimi Inari day! I ended up walking this alone, I did not realize how long it was going to take or the fact it was actually like 10,000 stairs. My knees were very upset on the way down
• It was not as busy as expected, I went at roughly noon on a Friday. Most people tap out before the actual mountain climb
• The Goshuin at Fushimi Inari are on paper, you can paste them into your books later. Even if you don't have a Goshuincho I'd recommend buying them because they are very cute!
• Shrine cats!!!! You can buy photos of them to help pay for their food
• After Fushimi Inari I somehow managed to walk to Tofukuji Temple (I did the garden but not the bridge) and Daigo-ji Gojunoto pagoda and garden. I wanted to cut my legs off after today

Day 10 (Kyoto, photos)

• I started my day at the Kyoto Round 1, I had visited it on day 8 as well. This one is ace because it was literally always empty 10/10
• Decided to explore Gion a bit, ended up at the Machiya Starbucks and had the best thing I ate all trip (a custard dorayaka, I regret not going back for another)
• Ended up at Kiyomizu-dera Temple totally on accident. It wasn't super impressive in early spring but the view was still fantastic
• Ended the day at the Ryokan (Kyokoyado Muromachi Yutone). Ended up picking one without an onsen because we are both covered in tattoos, and I didn't want to deal with finding a private one. The cypress tub was a great trade off, and the food was incredible

Day 11 (Tokyo - Concert, photos)

• Today we travelled back to Tokyo and went to the Kingdom Hearts concert. I ended up trying for the lottery for tickets back in like December 2022. Winners were announced the first weekend in January and you only had a few days to buy tickets. I have a friend of a friend living in Japan who did me the biggest solid ever and bought our tickets. I met up with her during the trip for the hand off. The seats are randomly assigned and we had AMAZING seats near the front. This was also the performance Nomura was at!
• We weren't supposed to take photos during the performance so I just have some before. Also, I made Organization XIII beads that attach onto my dress with magnets and I am very proud of it, so please excuse the bathroom selfie :D
• The concert was about 3 hours long and after all the travelling we were beat. We ate dinner, played our nightly games of Ongeki, and passed out
• Bonus video of the music box that plays Dearly Beloved

Day 12 (Ginza & Sumida, photos)

• We were really starting to tucker out at this point. We managed to drag ourselves to the Ginza art Aquarium in the AM and the Tokyo SkyTree in the afternoon. Today was the Equinox so everything was crazy busy, the line to buy tickets for the SkyTree was literally like 2 ish hours long so we bought them online and went shopping in the mall
• The Art Aquarium was really cool, but a lot of the fish were in really small tanks. I didn't include photos of those :(
• The SkyTree just let people up as fast as they could so it was extremely crowded at the top, and not super enjoyable imo
• I spent the evening at the arcades in Akihabara :D

Day 13 (Tokyo - JJK Exhibit, photos - flashing video warning)

• Today I went off in the am to see if I could buy a ticket to the Jujutsu Kaisen animation exhibit in person. The online site wouldn't let me buy a ticket because I didn't have a Japanese phone number. UNFORTUNATELY you couldn't buy tickets in person. I got super lucky again and 2 foreign exchange students from Europe were trying to do the same thing, however they did have a Japanese phone number and the site allowed you to get 3 tickets at a time. They were able to grab them for all 3 of us for that evening
• Putzed off to Hie Shrine, anyone that tells you it's a mini Fushimi Inari is lying
• Went back to Akihabara, found a Miku racing pop up!
• Went back to... Ginza? for the JJK animation exhibit, it took about an hour to go through. I included a ton of photos so just skip today if you're not interested in that show

Day 14 (Tokyo - TeamLabs Planets & SquareEnix Cafe, photos)

• TeamLabs was so cool! I didn't include many photos since it's 95% selfies. Make sure you explore a bit as the string light room had a couple of different areas that are easy to miss, and it's possible to accidentally skip the hanging garden, which was beautiful! TeamLabs took us about 2.5 hours but we were 100% those bitches taking forever to get a million photos
• Since we were staying in Tsukiji we ended up just slowly walking back to the room for a much needed nap
• Back to Akihabara yet again! More rhythm games, some awful food at SE

Day 15 (Shinjuku, photos)

• This was our last full day in Japan, we honestly didn't want to do anything but we managed to drag our asses to Shinjuku National Garden for the cherry blossoms. Unfortunately it was sprinkling a bit, at least it kept the crowds away
• Managed to check out Meiji Jingu, but at this point my travel partner was sick of walking and tapped out
• I went back to Kabukicho, walked around a bit and ended up back at an arcade (bless Ongeki for having stools)

Final thoughts (Misc, photos)

• We were literally so annihilated by the trip that we took a taxi to the airport, it was about ¥8,000 from Tsukiji ($60 USD ish)
• I ended up buying a 24" suitcase from Ginza Karen for ¥6,000. It was 100% full of stuff I purchased. We also used one or those giant ¥500 bags from Donki as a carry on
• My Goshuincho was my favorite souvenir, I'm so proud of all the stamps I collected (I did get doubles at some shrines). I plan to bring this back late 2023 to try to finish it
• I have the old school GoogleFi plan and don't have to do anything extra to have international data. Lots of places & stations have free WiFi but you'll need to put your email in
• I don't really sleep that much and my schedule in the US is already busted, but it took me about 2 full weeks to get back on normal human hours. I'm tired again just writing this up and looking through all my photos
• My main regret is not trying more food, we ended up waiting until we were dying of starvation and ate at the konbini a lot (typical)

 
Edits for formatting

Pt 1 If you haven't read it yet.
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Pt 2 If you haven't read it yet.
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Hope you enjoy Pt 3 and happy reading!
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I had finally shown Will to his quarters and just I was beginning to leave he said,
"Oh great stars this is just wonderful! See I told you that housing is something the Federation can get right with humans!" He said eagerly and beckoning me to come inside.
Will's quarters were not of an exceptional size, no bigger than everyone else's, but still, it's a significant improvement over what he had been living in, Exploration ships are known for their far superior accommodations compared to naval ships, easily twice the size of the standard naval quarters, and you don't have to share it.
"Oh well this is just truly wonderful! You truly must see this! " He said once more.
"Well if you insist!" I said quite awkwardly as I shuffled through the door after him.
What was special about his quarters were the decorations, as Federation quarters are always set up prior to the arrival of the occupying individual, so all the decor was already there. Adorned in a human manner, with Earth plants, hardwood flooring, and an overall warmer, Earthy, color palette was selected.
In the quarters was a main room, with human furniture, a sort of, elongated seat that could fit at least three others side-by-side, lots of little tables with all kinds of colorful vegetation, though green seemed to dominate the selection.
"Would you like a tour! I made sure to have picked out everything before hand, you know that's not something you usually get to do on naval vessels so I wanted to take full advantage!"
"As long as I can get back to my post soon, I already wasted enough time because of that little accident you had with the synthesizer." I was quite frustrated with him, it was a relatively new emotion for me, for what it's worth I think he's a great guy, but oh galaxies is he ever annoying.
"Yes yes yes, I assure you everything can be done in time." I doubted that but went along nonetheless.
"So here's the main room, this is my lovely couch" gesturing to that odd chair of his. "And across from is a nice TV for me to relax when I get off my shift." I'll grant this to Will, he's a very enthusiastic person, which makes it very difficult to say no. Like Xor'Xoj my pet Tlonker from way back when I was a juvenile, just couldn't say no to it.
"So a TV is where you watch "Magic School Bus?"" I asked.
"Well, not just that, all kinds of other shows, movies, and I can play games on it too. Really all too much for me to go in to with our limited time."
"And here are the other rooms" Will pointed to this one room with a table and a synthesizer. I followed him in.
"This is where I'll probably be taking my meals, though I may occasionally join you all in the Cafeteria."
Stars, he was running all over the place. Where was he getting all that energy from? I thought to myself, but it was probably just another item to add to the ever-expanding list of weird human things. Will was growing on me, he just seems so... joyous. He had a certain care-free attitude, an eagerness, he just could flip like a switch, going from being all fired up and angry to happy, to in pain, to funny, to serous, and back to happy again, and sometimes he did several simultaneously. I'd never seen anything like it. I mean, it takes a lot to change the baseline mood of a Zorxian, meanwhile I'm left wondering if humans even have a baseline mood!
"So here is my bedroom!" He said just absolutely pleased with himself over his decoration job.
"Oh my galaxies what is that! What is that!"
On this large rectangular piece of foam and other things, which was adorned with fabrics of all different kinds, was a little black animal that had been startled underneath the structure these materials rested on.
"Oh that's just Kepler, she's my cat! She is just the cutest thing in the whole wide universe, isn't she!" Will was making this weird high pitched voice, not like the last time though this was different something about the way he spoke.
"Why are you doing that voice?"
"Oh that's just... gosh... how do I explain it... it's a human thing that we do whenever we talk to something that we think is cute."
"Can I see it? The cat I mean, it ran away under that weird structure in the middle of your room."
"Oh that structure, it's my bed, it's where I sleep."
"Sleep?"
"I'll get to that later but my communicator keeps going off. The captain is pissed about the whole power incident and how long this trip is taking already. Anyways, you wanted to get a closer look at Kepler?"
"What?! I need to head back to the bridge like, right now! And why isn't my communicator going off?" Just as will had started to grow on me just like that I was back to just absolutely fed up with is antics.
"I think the captain just figured that communicating with you is a futile effort since I probably won't do a good job obeying. Plus I'm kind of at the center of all this." Will was laughing! The captain was furious and he was laughing! That care-free attitude may be cute but oh was it ever annoying.
"Ok I'll just show you Kepler and we'll be on our way- you know what I'll just show you a picture!"
Opening up a picture on his TV revealed this innocent seeming pet to be a viscous monster, with huge claws and massive, fang like teeth that thing was a killer!
"OH MY PLANETS! OH! LOOK AT IT! OH! NO! JUST NO! AREN'T YOU AFRAID I'LL KILL YOU?!?!?" I was awfully distressed, more so at its implication for the safety of the rest of the crew, by this point I couldn't care less what happened to Will.
"Oh it's harmless! It spends most of its day sleeping, though it's a bit closer to what you would call hibernating. Well... sometimes it'll get a little... playful, but nothing more than a simple scratch, besides, she'll just stay here, in my quarters." This did little to reassure me, and I did NOT find it cute.
"Ok, now that we're done... with that let's just... quickly get back to the bridge..." All while Will was talking he was pausing to laugh! We'd be lucky if Captain Reloxyn doesn't re-assign us both to the second shift! I was panicking, I now think I know what Will means when he talked about being driven crazy by his co-workers, and... wait... HE was the one being driven crazy! I can't imagine how all those poor co-workers felt having to deal with is antics for so long!
We both ran, me at a full sprint, Will was having no issue keeping up, in fact he was skipping and I'm going to borrow a human word here but that little shit was skipping! How does he do it?! I get he's a human but how in Orion's name does he do it. How, under such a laid back exterior somehow lies some brilliant engineer, but I suppose I'd get a first hand look in if I get put on a scouting mission with Will, which I doubt, with what I already know about him he'd probably blow our cover before we could even get preliminary scans done!
When we got back to bridge Captain's hair was, you know what, I'll let his interaction with her speak for itself:
"Oh hey captain! You seemed to have calmed down, your hair isn't colored anymore!"
"THAT'S BECAUSE IT'S GONE INTO THE ULTRAVIOLET SPECTRUM YOU INSUBORDINATE NERVE PAIN!"
"Oh..." Will responded, all the care-free joy draining from his face.
The rest of the bridge had gone silent in fear of incurring even but a fraction of her wrath.
"Well... I can explain..."
"OH GO RIGHT AHEAD I CAN'T WAIT TO HERE THIS."
"You see... I had just wanted some water when I got to my office..."
"AND YOUR FIRST THOUGH WAS TO CRACK OPEN YOUR SYNTHESIZER?!"
"In my defense I was quite thirsty, and as a matter of fact I still am..."
"One of you! Get him a glass of water!" She clapped her tentacles together, Captain Reloxyn was NOT playing around with Will.
"Now, when I was but a hatchling, I used to hang out by the human dockyards of Cirsium-4 and I picked up a few human words, so, WHAT THE ACUAL FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?!?!"
"I wanted a glass of water..."
"THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST WAIT UNTIL YOU GOT TO YOUR QUARTERS!!!"
"Well, I had successfully made the same modification on what I thought to be the same kind of synthesizer on FSS-109, but I now know the wiring is totally different."
The Captain thought for a long time, long enough to slowly, but surely calm down.
"SINCE the issue was just contained to your office, I think the wise thing to do, especially since you're new here, is to let you off with a warning, don't try and pull a stunt like that again, and at least have some respect for my time or the future consequences are going to only escalate from here."
The entire bridge, and I mean, entire bridge let out just a massive sigh of relief with her surprisingly merciful judgement, and to this day I'm surprised the doors weren't blown off by the air pressure caused by all that exhaling, but I suppose all that yelling had calmed Captain down, as by the end of her conversation with Will, her hair was undulating a healthy turquoise.
​
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90 Solar Periods Later:
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After completing the survey mission of the Ix system, we had noticed that Ix-5 was harboring a pre-FTL society, just turning the corner into the Atomic Age thanks to their recent discovery of nuclear power, me and Will were assigned to do the scouting mission, blend in with the locals, get some intelligence, just standard protocol. Ix-5's Earth like environment had much of us worried about going down, hence Captain Reloxyn's decision to assign Will to the mission, and I was assigned thanks to my endless experience on pre-FTL scouting missions in an attempt to counterbalance Will's... inexperience.
Situated in a high-altitude orbit as to avoid detection, we readied the landing shuttle for the mission, it wasn't exactly small, with about the same living area as the standard Explorer-Class Quarters like the ones on our ship, the only difference is that we would have to share it, and the flight deck took up some of that room, so, a little tight but we'd be fine.
Will had packed some things to bring with him, just a camera, some equipment, and a photo of Kepler, who I still didn't trust.
"Let's get this show on the road!" Will exclaimed with that usual twinkle in his eyes.
"Let me guess, It's a figure of speech."
"Naturally."
*FLICK* "Switching to internal systems." I had started the un-docking procedure.
*FLICK* "Decoupling"
*FLICK* Separation"
The shuttle produced a loud THUNK indicating a successful separation
"T-7 seconds to minimum clearance" While Will had said this with a tone of professionalism, he had that stupid grin on his face, and that glint in his eye that said all I needed to know.
"Main Engine Start!" I said once the timer had run down to 0 while hovering my hand over the button that would tell the guidance computer to begin the de-orbit burn.
*Click*
The shuttle's engine came roaring to life, both of us being shot forward by the acceleration, only being stopped by our seatbelts.
"WOO HOOO!" Will shouted, overcome with excitement at the prospect of stepping foot on an uncharted world.
The rest of the descent was pretty calm, running through checklists, taking weather data to find a safe re-entry point. Floating around in Zero-G. So mainly we just talked.
"So, how has everything been in navigation?"
"Oh, just the same old same old, plot a course here, plot a course there. Nothing special."
"Wish I could say the same for Engineering." Will chuckled.
"We've had some close calls down there, nothing you should be concerned about." Will was doing a barrel roll.
"Really, like what?" I responded, mildly concerned.
"Well, we don't normally talk a lot about the minor stuff, just trying not to cause any panic, but we did have one instance where a small asteroid, only weighed a few grams, but we were exiting from jump so our relative velocity was... very, very high, so even something tiny like that can do a lot of damage. Shields were still spooling up though and it slipped through, but thankfully the jump drive was still generating its gravitational field so it got pulled away, it passed just 5cm from the hull."
"Oh my." I was absolutely astonished, I had no idea these events were taking place.
"What's the likelihood of something like that happening again?" I asked him, hoping for an optimistic response.
"Well, after it happened we launched an investigation and made the required fixes, the reactor had to be upgraded to produce more power so we could run the shields while we were spooling the jump drive down, so it won't happen again."
"That's reassuring, happy to hear that." I responded, relieved at his answer.
"So how's everything going with your family?" Will asked.
"Oh, you don't want to hear about a dangerous close call we had in navigation?" I said, laughing throughout.
"No I'm just messing with you, we don't really have those, but my family is doing great thanks for asking! My brother is going to be signing up as a maintenance apprentice aboard FSS-203 so that's exciting!"
"Wow they're already up in to the 200's?! Man, I only left 90 days ago and we were at what, 150?"
"Remember what you said to me, when you first got here? "If you want peace, prepare for war.""
"Yeah something like that." Will grunted as he pushed himself off the wall and floated over to the food designed for use on the shuttles.
"Hey, care for a toast of... lets see... Nutrient drink. Never mind."
"You humans, you're just picky eaters, it's not that bad." I responded half jokingly.
"Oh I assure you they are indeed "that bad" it tastes like rock."
"You humans and your taste." I replied, in a sarcastic manner.
"Well, my family is doing... okay." Will trailed off.
"Could you care to elaborate." I turned myself around to face him.
"Well my brother is just... an absolute asshole. My sister is great, just a wonderful person but, oh great Orion's Belt is Mike just about the most asinine human you'll ever meet."
"Oh really?" I was rather intrigued.
"We never really were friends, he and his stupid friends picked on me, bullied me for being... different. It was just horrible, but you know, one day I saw a recruitment poster for the Federation Corps of Engineers, and a lightbulb went off, and here I am now" Will by now had floated back to the flight deck and just stared off into the abyss, his eyes were getting watery.
"And now I'm what, more than 150,000 light-years from home exploring the Large Magellanic Cloud." Will let out a small chuckle.
"Are you okay? Are your eyes okay?" I asked noticing how they pooled up in his eyes instead of falling due to the absence of gravity.
"Yeah I'm fine." Will said, wiping his eyes.
"I didn't know it was like that."
"Oh I've gotten everything sorted now, everything's okay now, has been since I joined, and this new job is going great, haven't regretted switching in the slightest." His usual demeanor had returned.
"Now, let's get ready to land!" that sparkle returning to his eyes and that stupid grin began to form as he positioned himself back into his seat.
"Ok... just have to look over some weather data... hold on... here's the population scans... okay, I'll have to feed it into the computer to double check but right here seems good." I said, pointing to an ocean.
"We'll enter here, and glide over to here" I slid my hand over to an island.
"We can cloak the shuttle and just make our way over to the nearby city, once we get our disguises of course." I was tapping one of my fingers on the screen over a city.
"Disguises? What kind?" Will responded, leaning toward me.
"Oh just some prosthetic makeup, the inhabitants aren't to dissimilar from us, so minimal work is required."
"Wonderful. You've done this how many times before?"
"32, but none with planets this advanced."
"Hey, you remember what I said before undocking?" Will mentioned, turning to me with a grin both bigger and more stupid looking than ever before.
"Let's get this show on the road!" I replied with the same level of enthusiasm as he had just a few hours prior.
​
Figure this is a good stoping point, hope you've enjoyed so far! Pt 4 will be up tomorrow and that should have some ol' fashioned humans are space orcs action sequences! Thanks for reading!

Thought you’d all have ideas besides “where’s the last place you had it”. So I wear bracelets a lot, and most of them have sentimental value. Like a lot of us, I am the queen of losing items, but bracelets? They are like a part of my body. Still, somehow, in the last 2-3 months I have lost ALL FOUR of my favorites, so I’m hoping for some ADHD ideas of where I might have left them.
Some places I already checked:
-my work bag, plus all 3 of my purses even though I only use one
-the seats and cup holders of my car
-my jewelry box (no, I did not check there first, why do you ask)
-the pockets of every jacket in the house, even my husband’s
-Under every couch cushion
-all the bathroom counters, the ledges of the tubs, and all windowsills
-my makeup organizer
-every pair of pants I own
-the bag of random items I’ve had on my bedroom floor since March
-under beds and furniture, using a flashlight
-I shook out all the sheets/blankets
-I dug through all my drawers
So….help? Give me your most off the wall places you’ve found your own belongings and I will check there!

Stayed half a night at a 2-floor AirBnB. We arrived in the early afternoon, spent time in the living room and dining room, and then spotted a bedbug in the bed when we went upstairs (c. 10 hours later). We checked the living room couches before we left and saw no evidence of bedbugs. All the luggage had been downstairs all evening.
That night, we… -changed our clothes -bagged everything -threw out the luggage and left -showered elsewhere -threw all our clothes (outfits + in the suitcases + shoes) in a hot wash and hot dryer and then into fresh bags -put on new clothes
Once home, I… -immediately put all my clothes and shoes in the dryer again -showered again -washed and dried my clothes again when the dryer was finished and put them in fresh bags
All my things are still bagged in sealed trash bags or freezer bags. This includes hairspray and hairbrush, kindle, work laptop, shoes, makeup, the re-washed clothing, all of it.
How long do I wait before risking unbagging anything? If nothing else, I have to get my work laptop out soon.
The host had flawless reviews, so it’s possible one hitched a ride on the guest preceding us, but I want to operate as if we’re high risk. What else can/should I do?

Hi, I lost my mom almost 2 years ago to a very aggressive and fast stage 4 cancer. She got diagnosed right around when covid started, moved back with my now-wife, we got married in our back yard, strict quarantine, etc. She was a single mom, I am an only child, no real family in the US. We're late-20s, she wasn't even 60 yet.
It was hard. She went from gardening all day every day, teaching music, living her best life to dead in 2 years. Since we were quarantining we watched her lose more and more, I remember one time she got up to fast and since the cancer turned her bones into dust she broke her femur, the falls, the constant unrelenting pain, from cane to wheelchair. I could see her entire body covered in tumors (it reminded me of when her ex said, when I was 11 she looked like darth maul when she was mad, well now she really did), she couldn't move around the house without groaning and yelping, even the fentanyl+oxy+gabapentin barely helped.
We had a complicated relationship, I think because it was always just us. She had very old school views on men and women which at first caused static between her and my wife, but they grew to love each other.
Mom died on a hot summer day. It's very humid where we live, we have a beautiful house that she made her own. She redesigned it herself, she had so so many plants. She loved gardening and fighting squirrels. She was a pianist and I loved listening to her play, she would just improvise for hours. My cousin flew in after he passing, stupid fucking visa and covid kept her brother or anyone from coming to the US, and digitized all her music, I'm forever grateful to her.
I remember when the death rattle started, it was a constant sound. All 3 of us had dreams around the same time foretelling roughly when her death would be. The classic rapid decline from bad to worse happened, she went from being able to roll herself to the bathroom or smoke a cig on the porch (ill never forget her smoking her american spirits on the porch and watching spiritual tv, she was very spiritual, she met her death with ease and splendor), to in home hospice. I held her last cig to her mouth after turning off the oxygen (duh) but at the time she was barely coherent. She said a towel on the porch looked like Mephistopheles from faust. She drank a ton of coca cola, which was funny to me because growing up cola was NOT allowed in the house. organic food only. But I guess it's a great ad for coca cola.
She died when I had my hands in her mouth trying to position her correctly and get the liquid morphine under her tongue. She stopped breathing and that was that. I was staring at her chest and I swore it was still breathing, like when you're on LSD and everything is breathing. I called my grandparents and her mom admonished her now dead daughter on speakerphone, telling her if she had listened to her mom this wouldn't have happened. Grandma died a few months later, still angry at the world.
The night before she died I knew it would happen so I laid in bed for awhile just talking to her. But when she was still alive I was always grumpy. Grumpy that I was dealt this hand, grumpy that she was always telling me how to do things (she was a teacher first and foremost, spiritual and otherwise. soviet mentality to everything.) My wife would spend a lot more time talking to her. But I was a good son, I made her proud, she moved here alone and penniless, when I was born it was just me and her in the hospital. My dad was married (to someone else) and they split, he didn't want anything to do with me, so I never met him.
I still can't get everything out of my memory. I remember every smell sight sound feel, everything, I remember the viking looking guy who worked at the crematorium, he let me press the button. She had so much makeup on on the slab, my cousin hadn't seen her and was shocked. She was so so shocked that a human could look like that, let alone her favorite aunt. I remember the hot summer on my skin, so humid, like a faulkner novel, a butterfly flew by when I called my uncle to tell him his sister was on hospice. Everything smelled like sour milk, I liked the smell, including her house robe which still faintly awakens that smell in my memory, which I wear today.
I gave her a lot of foot massages, so at the crematorium I wiggled her toes a bit. It was nice, I wish I could do it again. My wife would make her favorite foods every day, which made her happy. We saw her favorite spiritual leader (sadhguru) speak in LA, and I think it was a good way of honoring her. Her ashes are still in front of the fireplace which she loved so much, we are waiting to spread them where she had asked.
I have my wife, who loved and grieved with me, I don't know if I could have even survived without her. But the images... the images are always in my head. Sometimes we'll go out to a club or whatever and I'll catch myself looking around, wondering how many people there have seen someone die? Up close and personal. It was like watching a child grow up in reverse, clockwork orange style in quarantine. 3pm on a Wednesday? Ah, mom broke another vertebrae. Better call 911 real quick. We always gave them special shoe covers cuz no shoes in the house!! unless they had their own. Had a piece of shit boss at the time who admonished me because I missed a meeting when my mom was in the hospital and asked me to decide whether or not to keep her on chemo. I said yes at first then the doctor said it would be cruel to keep someone in her state on chemo, it was too late. way too late. her whole body was saturated in cancer. but fuck that boss, I told him to go fuck himself and quit. Others followed me, yay!
But yeah. One of my best friends, also only child single mom, lost his mom a few months ago. I called him before she passed and told him how weird it was gonna be. Just weird. Its so fucking weird. I have a weird relationship with death, its not the end of the world, maybe there's reincarnation, I don't really care that much. Our body is just a thin tapestry over our soul and when mom died I felt relieved for her, its like she got to take off her uncomfy shoes after a long shift at work. But the images. Its stuck. It's a bittersweet nostalgia for those truly halcyon moments. even if they hurt so much. its like an ocean of pain and sadness that I know is behind me, I can hear the waves roar, but I dare not look.
Thanks for listening. any advice would be appreciated.

So I am a nursing student and every Monday I take a bus from my house to my university in the city. I was on my way to class and the professor sends us a message saying how this morning’s class is canceled. By now I’m already on my bus and we’ll on my way to Uni so I can’t turn around but that’s ok because near by is this store I really like and I wanted to buy myself a new skirt anyway :) So I get to the store and it’s closed but that’s ok because it opens in like 30 min I can wait. The area in general isn’t the nicest but it’s not dangerous and they have CCTV.
Suddenly this lanky tall dude with a beard shows up and asks me if the store is open, I say no it opens at 10 so he asks me the time and I tell him it’s 9:40 so he just stands there waiting. After a few me minutes he breaks the silence asking me if I have weed, I say no. A few minutes go by again and he asks me what I’m going to do in the store so I say I just wanted to buy some clothes, and then is when it’s started. He said he too wanted to buy some clothes but he isn’t too sure if he should because he dosent go to parties very often and dosent know if he’ll get to wear them. Then he says: You look young, how old are you? 19? You probably go to a lot of parties don’t you? I don’t really know what to do at this point so I just answer honestly. Not really. And he keeps asking questions, each time getting more personal. What kinda music do you like? He asks first, after I answer he starts talking about David Bowie’s sex life for some reason. Then he asks about my gender, saying how likes how feminine I am, and speculating what kinda clothes I like and saying how I would look better with longer nails, and how much he likes my makeup. This is when he started getting touchy, he compliment my hair and started caressing it. Then he starts saying how nice I look and how much he likes my body and how I look feminine despite the fact I’m fairly muscular. This is when he pats me on the back and tries to hug me. I quickly step aside putting distance between the 2 of us. He then tells me something about his son before asking me out on a date. I can’t even answer I just stood there in shock before he says ahhh you are probably to young for me anyway and caressing my hair again. He then compliments my tattoos at one point grabbing me by the arm to look at one of them. He then starts talking about his tattoos making a joke about how much I would like his penis. He then asked me for my phone number, I manage to stall and change the subject, and he finally leaves making a I am watching you sign at me before turning the corner.
Sorry if the writing in this is bad or messy I am just really emotional atm I want to cry :(

Stayed half a night at a 2-floor AirBnB. We arrived in the early afternoon, spent time in the living room and dining room, and then spotted a bedbug in the bed as soon as we went upstairs (c. 10 hours later). We checked the living room couches before we left and saw no evidence of bedbugs. All the luggage had been downstairs all evening.
That night, we… -changed our clothes -bagged everything -threw out the luggage and left -showered elsewhere -threw all our clothes (outfits + in the suitcases + shoes) in a hot wash and hot dryer and then into fresh bags -put on our friend’s clothes
Once home, I… -put my clothes and shoes directly into the dryer again -showered again -washed and dried my clothes again when the dryer was finished and then put into fresh bags
All my things are still bagged in sealed trash bags or freezer bags. This includes hairspray and hairbrush, kindle, work laptop, shoes, makeup, the re-washed clothing, all of it.
How long do I wait before risking unbagging anything? If nothing else, I have to get my work laptop out soon.
The host had flawless reviews, so it’s possible one hitched a ride on the guest preceding us, but I want to operate as if we’re high risk. What else can/should I do?

I mean really, if you think about it, this girl has no education or credentials to her name. She did not go to cosmetology school, has not done any formal training in makeup or product manufacturing….she did makeup tutorials but somewhere along the way she was able to market herself as an expert in the industry—under what standard? LOL. Like you can’t just swatch product and call it “buttery” and profess how “obsessed” you are with something, you actually have to have a background that supports your opinion in it. She doesn’t have that, she’s never had it.
And if we’re really being truthful, if her grammar and spelling are ANY indication of her education level, consumers should never trust anything she advertises.

So me (20 f) and my boyfriend (19 m) have been together for 2.5 years and have known each other for three. We met during lockdown and hadn't had the chance to meet until now. Recently he finally saved up enough money to visit me. As we have agreed for personal reasons that i don't want to talk about, he will be the one to visit me first.
Today his brother (30) who works in a different country went to visit him. Since i was already on a call with my boyfriend, he didn't have enough time to mute himself so we stayed on the call. At first i was in a different room doing my own thing, being away from my pc and then call, then later on when i went back to it i stumbled upon his family talking about me. Curiosity got to me and i decided to stay and listen since my full name was mentioned several times.
The things that were said were far from nice. There were some comments (from what i could understand) about my appearance implying that I'm not good looking during which my boyfriend had no reaction nor did he stand up for me. They then proceeded to stalk my social media and his sister in law added me in Facebook. This is where i decided to leave the call and not bother with the situation as i was getting anxious already.
My boyfriend texts me later on and tells me that he had a talk with his brother. Before i proceed, I'd like to say a few things. My boyfriend has seen my full body, face from any angle, i have taken him with me to multiple locations while we were on call, we've had life 360 installed AND his mother has seen me multiple times while we were on call and we've spoken a bit. He has also seen and spoken with my parents several times. He has been getting a lot of pressure from his family discouraging him from taking the trip and apparently today was successful. He texted me saying how he thinks it's safer if he travels with his brother and how he thinks it's SUSPICIOUS that I want him to travel alone.
The reason why I don't want his family to be included is because so far, i feel like they've constantly been involved/interrupted (intentionally or not) in any activity or date that we have planned to have, resulting in us having a total of probably 4-5 successful dates for the entire 3 years that we've been together. I feel like the situation with his family is too much for me emotionally to deal with and I'm starting to not want him to visit. The purpose of this trip was for us to makeup for the lack of personal/private time where it's just the two of us.
I'm feeling pretty offended by the entire situation and I'm starting to reconsider our relationship and whether he actually loves me or not as i don't want to be involved in high stress situations nor be sworn at and insulted by my own partner's family. This is also starting to take a toll on my mental health and my confidence.
What do you guys think about this and what advice would you give me?
TLDR: Boyfriend gets pressured by his family to not visit me, he ends up calling me suspicious for wanting to have personal time with him.

i literally just got back from the Birmingham KISS concert and can’t begin to describe how happy i am. by far the best band i have ever seen live. to all those commenting on one of my previous posts ‘look out for paul stanleys lip syncing’ are sp very wrong. the band were amazing - with absolutely no lip syncing involved. i hope all of you with upcoming shows enjoy them as much as i did
also, side note: i chose to do ace frehleys makeup ( my ref was the dynasty album cover ) but noticed that absolutely nobody else did? there were plenty of people in makeup, but i didnt see a single person with that makeup, is it just an unpopular choice?

Hi! I’m very new to makeup and have no idea what works for me. I don’t have a lot of money to spend on shades that don’t match and products that just don’t suit me well so i was wondering if there was any way i could get onto some sort pr list so i can try things without breaking my bank. i know drugstores have makeup but from what i can tell it’s getting expensive! any and all advice/suggestions welcome!

I didn't really know what it was. I had an idea but jeez is it wrong. The description said it would have some nit picky type stuff on it and some advice. I was told I look malnourished and it was insinuated that I was anorexic. No advice except to put on weight 🤣. Ngl, I couldn't take it seriously, I mean what does weight have to do with passing or even being a beautiful woman? Now, what makes it even more funny is I still have a decent amount of muscle mass, I stay in shape, or at least try too. I genuinely enjoy it, and it helps with keeping range and stability in my shoulder.. I just happen to have a smaller frame for how tall I am. That being said, I started viewing the profiles and my jaw hit the floor yall. I guess sometimes you just have to see it to understand. I was literally just trying to see if I could pass with makeup on. I'm ngl, it concerns me that vulnerable people could end up in that type of space, especially when they are looking for some type of help. I can't even imagine the lasting damage it could cause. It's ok to want to pass, it's ok to want to feel hot. I say feel hot because it's a feeling not rating. That feeling that makes us blush. Yall, you are all hot, you are all beautiful, and you are all amazing. I kinda feel like that type of standard type view is warped from some type of internalized hatred for themselves and the un-acceptance of themselves. Let alone the fact you don't have to pass if you do not want too. Some sis women do not pass, some choose not too. In otherwords the idea of passing is kinda irrelevant. Passing isn't femininity, it's just a sexist construct.

The region between my nose and chin have always been 2 shades darker than the rest of my face for over 10-15 years. I’ve no idea why this is and some docs said it might be my toothpaste but it isn’t (i’ve switched to sls-free toothpaste but no improvement).
Could this be because of having pcos? It doesnt look like melasma to me from the pictures of melasma i saw online. Its just a gradual change in my skin tone to 1 shade darker and then 2-3 shades darker around my lips. Its even difficult to cover with makeup.

Some basic info: I’m 22 amab and I consider myself to be bi, although I mostly just like any masc-leaning slightly androgynous-presenting person. For a while, I thought I just liked that type of person because I found them attractive, but I’m starting to think I might also want to be that person
When I was much younger (like 8 or so) I would dress up in the girly halloween costumes we had when no one was home, although I kinda stopped doing that when I was caught once. I’ve still felt the desire to do that but the embarrassment and shame kinda put a damper on it. I made a crop top like 2 weeks ago and I wear it while in my room late at night when my family is asleep and it just feels so right, and I’d like to get a skirt soon as well
At first I thought it was a bit of a femboy thing I’d like to try out but I’m thinking there may be more to it. Obviously being amab I was raised as a boy but I don’t know if I’ve ever felt 100% like one, but I know I’m not a girl either. I have no desire to do any sort of HRT or surgery of any kind, I’m fine with my body as-is in terms of gender
I like masc pronouns (testing out he/them to see how it feels, pls use those in comments if you need to use a pronoun), and generally like “guy things” (cars, mountain biking and other extreme sports, saying things like “me and the bois”). I’ve always disliked being referred as a man and being called handsome and other related terms. No issues with being called guy, dude, bro, etc., but I feel like those are becoming a bit more gender-neutral these days, if not still somewhat masc-leaning (kinda like me)
For clothing, when I’m hanging around at home and with friends I mostly wear “ath-leisure” type clothes, as I’m pretty lazy and prefer comfort over style. If I were to go to an event where style is more important (like a party, concert, or pride, not that I’ve been to any really but still) I would want to wear a crop top and present myself more androgynously as that’s how I want to be seen by the world. I also want to paint my nails black just as a general thing when I’m at like work and such, and maybe for the aforementioned events put on some black lipstick and something around the eyes like eyeliner or eye shadow (I’m not well versed in the makeup world so idk what the right terms are for the look I want)
This post is starting to get a bit long so I’ll TL;DR it: I like some parts of and slightly lean towards masc identities but not all parts of them, and I like some parts of fem identities but not everything, does that sound like genderqueer or is there a better term? Also just as one last note, I kinda like using open-ended labels as it gives me room to explore, that’s why I use bi even though I really only see myself dating guys