I just moved here with my wife and 3 of our college friends from New Jersey a couple months ago. I'm originally from the southmost part of West Virginia, which lacks greatly in food choices, but where the east coast sucked for the most part, their food was always pretty good and the variety was always vast. Where on earth is good food around here? Here are some examples of what I'm looking for:
• I am looking for a good old-style diner and can't find a single one. I've eaten at The Diner, not at all like a real old american diner. • I can't find a Chinese food take-out restaurant that's any better than just okay. My main go-to for this out here has been been Best Wok Chinese and I'm hoping there's something better • The pizza around here is okay, not great, but there are few okay choices. Anybody from New England find anything around here that compares to something like Maninos Pizza in pitman, nj? • Are there any good authentic Italian restaurants? • Mexican restaurants around here are fantastic. What's the best in your opinion? The one I like the most is El Paso up in Springfield, but that's an hour drive away at this point. • What are y'all's recommendations on Pho around here? • What are your favorite BBQ places? I really love Peg Leg Porker. Idk if we went on a bad day, but Martin's BBQ was disappointing. Mainly their watery BBQ Sauce. • What are some places you recommend we give try? What do you like around here?
Overall, the area is nice and we've enjoyed our time here. But good gravy do I miss good food when eating out.

Relationships could be difficult often, bringing us more pressure than they need to, and that is specially once we are performing something wrong. But once we begin to pay for a little more focus on tiny depth, to your associates and the partnership itself, points are certain to obtain better. Save the strain and research the most effective relationship blogs for answers.
A description follows all the relationship blog listings, and each blog included with this list is based on their content, resources, and existence, which we mention in the descriptions.
Take a look at these 15 blogs, which exist to assist you spice up and appreciate your relationship.

1. Whatsdalatest

This site books and presents prime relationship guidance to couples, providing them with tips on working with every relationship situation they find themselves in. Whatsdalatest is dedicated to answering every relationship issue, beginning opening a discussion and first day, love, to break-ups.
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Luvze, within their words, has a aim to ‘communicate clinical information in ways that assists visitors produce educated choices.' They believe, and rightly so, that human associations could be the foundation of the most delight we knowledge while also keeping the capacity to be the foundation of our most pain.
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Gottman Institute is an internet site co-founded by Dr. David Gottman, listed as one of many prime powerful practitioners of the past quarter-century, and Dr. Julie Gottman, a scientific Psychologist.
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Renee started the female person in 2009 to greatly help girls have a deeper understanding of guys, their relationship with guys, and marriage. On The Elegant Person, you are able to study articles which are very engaging and relatable.
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Dr. Diana Kirschner, a best-selling writer and psychologist started the site Love in 90 days. It's quite a vibrant blog, this one. The pink screen and remarkable fonts produce browsing through it so significantly fun.
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14. Psychology Today

Psychology Today is really a renowned digital newspaper that articles articles that examine numerous issues, including relationships. The newspaper was made in 1967 and has since then had the opportunity to reach thousands of people all around the world.
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#Zoomposium with Prof. Dr. #Thomas #Fuchs: "#Embodied #Consciousness"
It is a great honor and pleasure for us to have the very well-known and internationally renowned German psychiatrist and philosopher Prof. Dr. Thomas Fuchs for a Zoomposium interview. Prof. Fuchs is head of the section "Phenomenological Psychopathology and Psychotherapy" at the Department of General Psychiatry at Heidelberg University Hospital, head of research at the Karl Jaspers Comprehensive Edition of the Heidelberg Academy of Sciences and Chairman of the German Society for Phenomenological Anthropology, Psychiatry and Psychotherapy (DGAP).
A particular research focus is the study of the relationship between phenomenology and cognitive neuroscience, especially with regard to theories of embodiment and enactivism. In connection with this topic, Prof. Fuchs is frequently invited to congresses and seminars in psychopathology and psychotherapy to give lectures and advanced training on his proposed paradigm shift as a critique of the currently prevailing "neuroconstructivism" towards an "embodiment of consciousness".
Since I have also been concerned with these aspects for some time and had used Prof. Fuchs' literature, such as his newly published book "Defense of Man - Basic Questions of an Embodied Anthropology" (2020) in my essays, I was particularly pleased that he agreed to answer my colleague Axel Stöcker of the "Blog of Big Questions" and me our questions in this interview.
More at: https://philosophies.de/index.php/2022/11/20/das-verkoerperte-bewusstsein/
or: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ouxs6P3Enc&t=3440s
There is an orange translation button "Translate>>" at the bottom left.

Guest article by Dr. #Bernhard #Weßling: "What a #coincidence"
The following guest contribution comes from Dr. Bernhard Weßling, whom I got to know by chance ("What a coincidence" ?!? ;-) via our Youtube channel "#Zoomposium" (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZVfdqVYLxifo0KaCuVmNgA).
After a Zoom meeting I had asked him to present the theses from his new book "Was für ein Zufall! On Unpredictability, Complexity and the Essence of Time" in order to offer them as a basis for discussion. Therefore I am now very curious about possible, also coincidental resonances and I am looking forward - just like Dr. Weßling - to numerous comments. But first of all, here is the thesis paper.
More at: https://philosophies.de/index.php/2022/11/12/gastbeitrag-von-dr-bernhard-wessling-was-fuer-ein-zufall/
There is an orange translation button "Translate>>" at the bottom left.

Guest article by Dr. #Bernhard #Weßling: "What a #coincidence"
The following guest contribution comes from Dr. Bernhard Weßling, whom I got to know by chance ("What a coincidence" ?!? ;-) via our Youtube channel "#Zoomposium" (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZVfdqVYLxifo0KaCuVmNgA).
After a Zoom meeting I had asked him to present the theses from his new book "Was für ein Zufall! On Unpredictability, Complexity and the Essence of Time" in order to offer them as a basis for discussion. Therefore I am now very curious about possible, also coincidental resonances and I am looking forward - just like Dr. Weßling - to numerous comments. But first of all, here is the thesis paper.
More at: https://philosophies.de/index.php/2022/11/12/gastbeitrag-von-dr-bernhard-wessling-was-fuer-ein-zufall/
There is an orange translation button "Translate>>" at the bottom left.

Purple
Brandon Carson Carolyn Frannie Matt B Jaime
Orange
Danny Dr Josh Heidi Kane Lauren Yam Yam
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https://preview.redd.it/35hc4z9cv7ra1.jpg?width=768&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0b68726fed97c75fc9fc7362e9182dfb6ec96bf7
https://preview.redd.it/wbg43y9cv7ra1.jpg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cad2b7d9870ec95f74fb9249eea51b883d4e4383

Batman/Bruce: Keanu Reeves (I would have cast Chris Hemsworth)
Joker: Willem Dafoe
Mr. Freeze: Giancarlo Esposito
Penguin: Danny Devito
Harley Quinn: Margot Robbie
SuperMan: Jack Whitehall
Bane: Arnold Schwarzenegger
Lex Luthor: Brian Cranston
Eobard Thawne: Anthony Starr
The Flash (Barry Allen): Grant Gustin
The Flash (Wally West): Peet Montzingo
Green Lantern (John Stewart): Will Smith
Riddler: Neil Harris
Damian: Aidan Gallagher
Dick: Andrew Garfield
Jason: Paul Rudd
Tim: Tom Holland
Alfred: J.K. Simmons
Poison Ivy: Emma Watson
Lucifer: Al Pacino
Batgirl/Barbara: Anya Taylor Joy
Batwoman/Kate: Scarlett Johansson
Beast Boy: Jack Grazer
Bizarro: Karl Urban
Shazam: Alan Ritchson
Billy: Finn Wolfhard
Black Adam: Dwayne Johnson (But he can’t overtake the entire DC universe)
Catwoman: Jenna Ortega
Cyborg: Aldis Hodge
Darkseid: Andre Braugher
Deathstroke: Hugh Jackman
Dr. Fate: Daniel Craig
Wonder Woman: Adelaide Kane
Plastic Man: John Mulaney
SuperGirl: Elle Fanning
Martian Manhunter: Lance Reddick

Strap into your red leather bucket seats, this is a doozy. tl/dr at the bottom.
So, I got word the other day that my '08 Element EX AWD 5sp is on its last legs. A fairly long laundry list of repairs, that would likely cost me more than the car is worth. And that's on top of a phantom cooling issue that hasn't truly been pinpointed by any mechanic, and has caused some pretty frustrating moments. It's likely salvageable, but it won't do for what I need a car for.
What do I need a car for you might ask? I'm not a daily driver. I bike to work, and can walk or bike for most errands. I likely drive less than 10 miles a week, usually.
However, when I do drive, it's typically for weekend trips to go camping, mountain biking, skiing, fishing, whatever. I also do one or two longer road trips around the West a year to see family. I live in Colorado, and spend most of my time outside of there in Utah and Montana. I need a vehicle that is good in snow, can handle bad dirt roads, and is safe and competent on graded dirt roads. I also want to feel safe on the highway, but not totally bored.
You're probably thinking "Get an Outback, RAV-4, or CX5". That's also what I was thinking.
My budget is a max of 15k. I could probably do 20k, but with how infrequently I actually drive for day to day stuff, and the fact that I don't depend on my car to commute, I'd prefer to not spend too much. I'm also working with a teacher salary in a high COL area.
Most of the abovementioned cars I have been seeing within that budget are 5-10 years old, and have roughly 80-120k miles on them. I don't see many RAV-4s for less than 17. I also grew up with a bunch of Subaru people, and know (anecdotally ) that around the 100k mark things start to need more frequent repairs. (Correct me if I'm wrong here).
Then I remembered an old friend that had a 1999 Isuzu VehiCROSS, the Iron Man edition.
(Link: https://www.caranddriver.com/reviews/a35873856/1999-isuzu-vehicross-by-the-numbers/ )
He's a very meticulous car nerd. Between that, his Subaru Baja, FJ Cruiser, Miyata, WRX, and RV (plus his wife's Tuscon), he had his hands full. He's willing to part with it.
He's offering me 8k for it.
It's a 1999 Iron Man edition. 170k miles (20k less than my Element) 80% Tires, just replaced water pump, timing belt, brakes, filters, etc. He is also the kind of guy who washed and detailed his cars monthly, and was always a step ahead of maintenance. Other than some sun bleaching on the Iron Man logo, it's in near pristine condition with wear items replaced.
Upon reading that review, I noticed them talking about braking performance being stellar, and a stiffer suspension feel. While the mileage isn't amazing, it's not far from my Element, and around what a Tacoma that costs 4x as much would get. I feel like it wouldn't be a bore on the highway, but I'd also feel pretty safe in it.
The drawbacks for me are cargo space and the cramped rear seat. But, it's usually just my girlfriend and I, and I can get a roof box. We are small people, and could pack lighter anyway. She also has a boner for the car, but she owns a '98 T100, so her taste is good but not practical =)
TL/DR:
In short, I'm totally in love with the idea of this car, and other than a couple of practical quirks, I feel like it's not a terrible choice. Even if it's less convenient, I feel like the joy I would have with owing and driving it would outweigh those things, and I must admit, the cool points of showing up at a trailhead with a Japanese James Bond moonrover make me giddy.
So. On one hand, I could do the "responsible" thing and get a newer Outback or something comparable. It would be likely medium high mileage and could possibly need expensive work in the future. Most of those worth getting IMO are pushing the limit of my budget.
Or, do I do the fun thing and get my dream car for well within budget, and assume the risk of repairs with an older, exotic car with higher mileage? Sure, it's been very well taken care of, but it's still almost my age. But. Just look at it.
Any advice would be very welcome. If it seems like I've talked myself into this, you aren't entirely wrong, but hearing others opinions really does help.

Following the American Civil War, the United States Government was hard at work with the reconstruction of the Southern States. However, many were not ready to live peacefully under federal rule. Many confederate groups started organizing to fight back, including one man named Dr. Loveless, who hated the U.S.A, and wanted to control the whole government. In order to root out his coconspirators, the secret agents of the United States needed to be as mobile as possible. So, in 1869, the United States Military Railroad introduced Wanderer, a 4-4-0, hauling two heavily modified coaches, complete with ejector seats, booby traps, and the most fantastical of disguise wardrobes. Used by the famous agents James West and Artemus Gordon, the train would be their 19th century private jet, with the engineer, U.S. Marshall Coleman, at their command.

I met this girl a week ago at an event with her moms bf bald dude 39M. Seemed pretty cool. New flash...he wasn't. So we start talking....a lot like. Every second I'm phone the phone texting her and shit. And we start calling and before we talked abt like deep shit like the abuse I endured. My mental health and even hers. Even said I was her only friend I stayed on a call with her for 14h and she posted her snap story abt it.
I'm legit always their if she needs n told her this and she says at times imma make her cry because im being too nice. One night She and her mom left the bf cuz he's done a lot of shit. Most recent was get into an MVC(Motor vehicle collision) drunk with the baby sister. This isn't his first time doing shit while under the influence of something. So they went to the grandma's house In NJ and I ordered her a pizza. She was reluctant to receive it cuz she said she'll bad for having buy her stuff. I said it's fine I want to cuz I care as she hadn't eaten in HOURs.
Pizza comes and she says ANDREW as she was surprised and her family enjoys it. I really like and idk what it is abt her. Been really emotional lately and think abt her a lot...in many ways. Like idk what these feelings are.
And I haven't like stayed on late night calls In years with anyone let alone a girl so...idk how to feel as I'm always worried. Worried the mothers ex will come after them....he gets mad easily apparently. Worried something bad will happen.
Been 2 hours no response and I'm scared but I don't wanna Make a huge fuss cuz what If she's sleeping or something and I make a fool out of myself yk. Not sure how to feel or act help
TL;DR: Met a girl, like her a lot even tho we just met. Very Emotional lately

Major League Soccer

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This post will refresh the 1^st of every month at 12AM Central Time.
Below are some of the most frequently asked questions and their respective answers. This thread is to help condense these common questions into one location. A lot of newcomers to this community end up stuck in the mod queue and sometimes the threads die so the goal of this post is to stop that from happening and maybe get people a little better help getting started in the sport.
This thread is now mandatory for these types of questions so please don't get your feelings hurt if your post is locked and you are redirected here - it's only to get you better help and better organize the community!
How do I get started?
The best way is to look for a clinic in your area. Nobody is going to recommend you just throw on a helmet and climb on a bull or bronc. If you are looking for specific traineclinic recommendations in your area, feel free to ask in this thread!
I'm , is it too late to start?
No, you're not too old. The best day to start rodeoing was yesterday. The second best day is today.
Where do I buy for bull riding? Ropes?
NRS or Teskey's are both good options.
Where do I ride/rope/wrestle bulls/broncs/steers/calves in my area?
Ask below!
Can I wear a belt buckle that I didn't earn?
If you bought it or it was given to you, you earned it.
Is anyone going to judge me for dressing like a cowboy/cowgirl if I've never ridden a horse touched a cow?
Maybe. Who cares. Go ride a horse and touch a cow. We can make a cowboy/cowgirl out of you yet.
I heard they tie a rope around the bull/bronc's nuts to make him buck.
There is a flank strap loosely cinched to the animal's belly and they buck because they instinctively do it as a defense mechanism. Rodeo animals are trained from a young age to reward this bucking behavior when there is a flank strap attached and this is why they buck.
Additionally, many broncs are mares (female) and so they do not have nuts to tie a rope around.
Is rodeo cruelty?
This is a commonly asked question. Here are some of the responses that have been given before. Tl;dr this community is full of animal lovers and condemns abuse of any kind.

In the US, everyone I know who is involved in rodeo loves the animals. Sometimes the participants (human or livestock) get injured but everyone does their best to take precautions and make sure that doesn’t happen. Most mid-size rodeo events will require at least one veterinarian on site and may have designated animal welfare staff to ensure everything is being done correctly.

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I have been directly involved in Rodeo for more than a decade now. I work within multiple organizations, some of the biggest promoters in the world. My experience goes all the way down to holding chute tours to give an inside scoop at the sport, the animals, equipment, all of it.
The men and women in rodeo hold the animals in higher regard than themselves. And the ones that don’t, are found out and often find themselves without a rodeo community around them. Their animals are their everything, from their friends in a lot of cases with horses, to their livelihood with cows calves ans bulls thrown in.
Before I started in this industry I definitely took a good hard look at its morals and ethics. And regarding the animals themselves, I don’t know an industry on the planet who perform or compete with animals at this scale and popularity where animal welfare often comes before the humans involved.

​

My competition horses have chiropractors, regular vet check ups, specially metered food and supplements, injections, more expensive shoes every 6 weeks than any pair of boots I have owned, and anything else they require. Maintenance and feed for my horses is my single biggest expense. More than trucks and houses.
Once they are retired, I have a bad habit of keeping them around, so they live out their life turned out, and still get vets, shoes, etc.

​

The fact is horses are way too expensive to mistreat and in competition the only way to win is to have a healthy and comfortable horse that likes it's job. As far as the cattle goes the same comment applies. In general the majority of the money made from the cattle is still what they bring at a market price so if they're mistreated, sick, and injured that's money lost from the stock contractor. Also another comment is the more livestock animals are monitored the better the chance of them getting treatment from sickness or just natural injuries before conditions get worse.

​

I raised rodeo bulls and roping cattle in the past we took better care of our animals than we did ourselves.

​

I live out west and can tell you by personal testimony that people who own rodeo animals love them more than their own kids (depending on how useless the kid is; mileage varies).

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I’ve grown up around rodeos, and animals, and everyone I know is kind with the animals. There’s some people who do abuse them, but it’s not common at all, and most people will get involved and try to fix it fast. It’s just a few bad apples on a good tree.

A Fanfic of u/SpacePaladin15’s work “The nature of Predators” Thank you for the story!
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Memory transcription subject: Kilousai, Kolshian Head Genetic Biologist
Date [standardized human time]: REDACTED
​
Something that has always amused me was how primitives talk and act like people. Yet are so easily manipulated into being whatever you wished them to be. Take Female Venlil Feed Subject #387V-42. She believes herself to be one of the foremost Genetic Biologists in our field. Yet all she has done is make a poor, pathetic version of what my own species and the Farsul have mastered centuries ago. Sure her nanites could cure cancers in a matter of minutes, but it's just such a waste of resources to make these for primitives.
However there are a scant few primitives that are worthy of truly being uplifted to the same status as a Kolshian or Farsul. Take Venlil Test Subject #12v-01. By all means he should have been caught by the Exterminators and burned to death with a flamethrower. Thankfully we caught this gem of a being with early screening and gently had his life altered to ensure that didn’t happen. With a few small interventions, such as the removal of his parents and ensuring that he was always in the right place at the right time, we were able to take advantage of his aggressive behaviors, and alter his beliefs to align with our own. He truly was something special. I do hope we don’t have to purge this one. The Venlil experiments have shown great promise.
“Oh I am so glad to be able to work with you directly Kilousai! I hope you don’t mind but I would like to get a photo with you to show to my friends back home! Well, show them once we’ve cured Humanity!” Go on you stupid piece of meat just keep talking. It’s one of the two things you will ever be good for.
“Of course! We are going to accomplish so many good things for the Federation today! In this very facility we have made great strides into ensuring that our future will be prosperous and safe!” I do so love how Subject #12v-01 reacts so differently than the feed. His tail muscles gently tighten at the base, his ear slowly pivots to listen to my words. Yet he doesn’t even feel for the knife hidden just in his fur under his right arm. I could tell he knows that when I say ‘we’ I am not including the feed in that statement.
Finally the elevator reached the bottom. “Oh! Finally we are here!” The doors opened to reveal Subject #592A-01. The large Arxur made for an imposing presence in the doorway. His deep blue tactical gear would almost be completely invisible in the dead of night. Yet in the clinical white hallways almost appeared as a slightly blue void.
As predicted the feed began to hysterically try and flee while screaming and alerting anything that might have wished to harm her of her presence. Typical. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! NOOOOOOOO NONONONONONO!” Subject #592A-01 did not flinch or move as instructed. Good.
What wasn’t good was the ear splitting wail from the feed as it desperately tried to flee. It was setting Subject #12v-01 on edge. He hadn’t reached for his knife yet, but had simply taken a defensive stance. I imagine my calm demeanor clued him in on how to act. Clever.
I strode forward past it. “Come along now! We haven’t got all day! 592A-01 help them along, please and thank you.” Subject #592A-01 surged forward and quickly seized the feed. She began to frantically hit the muscle laden arms of Subject #592A-01 yet her claws were unable to even tear the cloth covering his armor. Small traces of orange blood started to cover Subject #592A-01’s gear before he pinned the feed’s arm behind it to stop it from damaging itself further. The wailing sound was starting to give me a headache but it wouldn’t last much longer
Subject #592A-01 turned and grabbed Subject #12v-01’s arm and began to drag them behind me as we walked down the corridor. Subject #12v-01 was barely able to touch the ground but complied and walked with us, while the feed was drug kicking and screaming.
This right here. Any primitive other than Subject #12v-01 would be just like this feed, panicking like the dumb animals they are. Yet here he was. Someone that was paying attention, fully intent on surviving and taking advantage of any opportunity to the fullest.
I turned into the activity room I set up for this demonstration. 10 of my hand raised Arxur soldiers stood at attention waiting for me to give any order. Their gear almost making them indistinguishable from Subject #592A-01, who came in and deposited both Subject #12v-01 and the feed into the center of the room and stood back to guard the door as instructed previously. The feed desperately clung onto Subject #12v-01 who almost seemed to console the feed but simultaneously arranged himself to be able to use her as a shield if needed. Clever.
“Ahem…” The feed jerked her head to be able to see me, while Subject #12v-01 kept the Arxur Soldiers and Subject #592A-01 in his field of view, yet couldn’t see me as well. Clever. “Welcome to the labs! Here I work diligently to ensure that the Federation has all the tools necessary to keep everyone safe!” I grasped my tentacles together in a giddy excitement. It was always great to share my work with others!
“SAFE! SAFE? These are fucking monsters! We aren’t safe!” I grimaced at that statement. An expression that thankfully Subject #12v-01 was able to see when he turned to face me. He was now focusing his attention on me. He clearly knew I was in charge and thus was the biggest threat to his safety. Clever.
“Sorry, I wasn’t referring to you Female Venlil Feed Subject #387V-42.” Her ears drooped and her jaw hung loosely from her head. I could barely make out the faintest sound from her mouth. Subject #12v-01 seemed to recognize the feed as a liability now. Good. “You see. In order for there to be prosperity there must be safety. For there to be safety there must be control.” Subject #12v-01 seemed to calm down and while he was still tensed ready for action, took a more neutral stance. The feed simply stared in abject horror and disbelief. Pathetic.
“When we, the founding species, discovered the third race of intelligent beings, we were aghast at their barbaric and primitive natures. They were still killing each other with sticks! And for what? Land? Water? Food?” I started to pace back and forth as I taught my history lesson. “NO! They killed each other in the thousands because the other members of their species were simply their enemies! Couple this with the disgusting act of eating corpses, fish and other small animals, every attempt to make them into something respectable failed. They were just too aggressive. Too… predatory.”
The feed just started to shake and sob. Subject #12v-01 looked to understand where I was going with this. I gestured to the squad of Axur in the room. “Take the Arxur for example. When we discovered them they were locked in a civil war over ideals. The ideals of, is it better to be feared, or to be loved? The dominion believed that cruelty was the best way to control and keep their people safe, while the Northwest Bloc tried to be transparent with their people, tried to let them be free, even if that made things dangerous.” I felt another wave of excitement rush over me as I started to bounce on the spot.
“The best thing happened when we made contact! They declared peace! They started to work together! Both sides desperately strove to incorporate our technology and follow our uplift plan! They desperately wanted to be like us! To live in peace and harmony! The only uplifts to ever do so without us having to prune their primitive cultures first!” The feed just shook her head in disbelief.
“The only mistake we made with them was not realizing that they were incapable of digesting plant matter at all. They were the first sapient obligate carnivores that we had ever found! So when the time came and a famine struck Wriss, we gave them a cure to end their dependence on meat." I animatedly shrugged as I kept teaching "Ooops! Killed nearly a fourth of their population! Thankfully it didn’t kill all of them. Though something strange happened. All of their livestock died. When we realized what had happened we already began to draft an extermination plan and got our fleet into position when the oddest thing happened.”
I held my tentacles wide in excitement. “Their PROPHET contacted us! Let us know that the dominion had taken control! That they used our ‘cure’ to kill their livestock. He made his people doubt the way of the Northwest bloc, and reinforced that the Dominion is in the right. He gave us proof of what we always knew. FEAR. Fear rules unchallenged. So we gave the Prophet’s most loyal weapons, and they purged the Northwest Blocs staunchest defenders. Then came the time for them to return the favor they owed us.”
Subject #12v-01 was completely calm now. He knew what was coming. The feed looked lost, distant. Worthless. “We moved our fleets out of the way. After all. We had no idea we were about to be attacked! Then the dominion launched its campaign and worlds fell. People fled in fear, and our control went from being loosely held by us to being a noose around the primitive's necks.”
“My soldiers here are a gift from the dominion.” I gestured around to all of my children. “I raised them from their eggs. Made them the perfect soldiers. With them we can ensure that if we, or the dominion, need someone… erased or need just a little bit of chaos to remind the mindless masses who is in charge, well… they will ensure it always happens flawlessly.”
The feed looked up in horror. “You.. You're a monster!” I just laughed. What a stupid notion. “ME?! A monster? Monsters hurt sapient creatures without a single care. There are four sapient races in the galaxy. The Kolshians, the Farsul, the Prophet descendants, and Humanity.” I expected Subject #12v-01 to react to my statement but his demeanor almost seemed to… agree? Good.
“The dominion keeps its people scared of starving and thus in control. Sadly that leaves them as sub-sapients, but every so often they get a useful tool and we authorize an uplift to our status.” Subject #12v-01 looked down at the feed in almost a state of disgust. He was putting the pieces together flawlessly! Time to test that.
“I grow bored of this. I was hoping that maybe you were worth something. I guess I was wrong…” I slowly paced away from the center of the room. Distancing myself just far enough away if either of them rushed me they would never be able to get to me. “My children. Eat.”
In one motion every one of my children turned to look at the two Venlil. With one step heard, all of them put a foot forward and then… Subject #12v-01 decided to act.
With one fluid movement he brandished his knife from its hiding spot. My children took a moment to ensure they could strike without being struck. I swished my tail and gave a silent order to not kill Subject #12v-01… yet.
He grabbed the feed in a manner almost like he was taking a hostage. Then his knife slid into the base of its spine. It let out a blood curdling scream as it fell to the floor. Tears poured from its eyes as it looked up to Subject #12v-01 and then to its legs as it failed to move them. It began to sob hysterically and tried to crawl to the corridor we entered from.
As it slowly made its attempt to escape, Subject #12v-01 cast the knife aside, letting it slide harmlessly across the floor till it came to a stop at my feet. I gave him a quizzical look. He stood proud and stated “I am more use to you as a tool than as feed for your soldiers. I know the inner workings of Venlil Primes government better than Tarva herself. I know how to wrap Humans around my fingers and make them do my bidding without them having a clue it's happening. Use me. I guarantee you that you will regret letting them eat me.”
After his defiant statement was over he stood still and lowered his arms from their elevated position. He seemed to relax as I picked up his knife and walked to him with my tail flicking happily behind me. “YES! I knew you were truly a sapient being! I am so relieved that I was right about you! You saw it, yes? How she wasn’t like us? How she couldn’t act beyond what she was taught?” Subject #12v-01… No Wisterly. “Wisterly, a lot of races consider yours to be weak. Do you know what I think about your race?”
Wisterly took a moment to ponder my question. With a slight tilt to his head he responded “No Sir. I do not know what you think of my race.” I couldn’t help but let my tail flick with excitement. “I think your race has always had great potential. Sadly a lot of your race are gullible to say the least, but you? You are something special. You don’t just accept your fate!”
I waved a tentacle at the crawling, sniveling feed. “You aren’t like them! You ACT! You think! You change your fate! Come now! We are in great need of your skills!” I handed him back his knife. “Oh. #592A-01. Feed.”
I started to talk to Wisterly about our plans and how he would be fitting in to it as #592A-01 approached the feed. He placed a foot on its legs pining it in place. It left streaks of orange blood across the floor as it ripped its claws out trying to escape. Then #592A-01 failed its test. It bent down holding the feed still, locked its jaws around the head and bit down crushing the skull and killing the feed instantly.
“STOP. STOP STOP STOP. WHAT IN MY NAME WAS THAT!” #592A-01 froze, before it stood to attention. “I killed the feed Father.” I let out a long defeated sigh. “Did I TELL you to kill the feed?”
“No Father.”
I took a step closer to him “Why did I tell you to feed? And Why did I not tell you to kill?”
“So that when the time comes I can flawlessly imitate the Dominion’s Arxur, Father.”
I turned away and threw my tentacles into the air. “Children. Feed.”
Failure #592A-01 stood perfectly still as its siblings approached. Subject #592A-02 held Failure #592A-01’s arms still as she locked her jaws around his abdomen and ripped his intestines out. The others descended on it as I led Wisterly out of the room and gave one final order. “Don’t eat the head. Bring that to the lab before it starts to rot.”
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Memory transcription subject: REDACTED
Date [standardized human time]: REDACTED
​
Something is off with all of this. I don’t know how to tell Kila that we are in grave danger without alerting Dr. Kilousai that I was aware of his deceitful nature. He answered her every question as though she wasn’t part of the herd. Something was very wrong.
The elevator reached its destination and the doors opened to reveal what was clearly an Arxur in full military gear. He didn’t move from his position and Dr. Kilousai didn’t even seem to care that it was here. Like he expected it. Kila was freaking out trying to get the doors to close, busting her finger bloody as she tried. I choose to stay as still and calm as possible. I knew my knife was still in reach. I can’t let the Arxur know it's there or I am dead.
Dr. Kilousai ordered the Arxur to grab us. I had the thought that maybe the Humans had allied with the Arxur, who made it behind Fed lines and took control, but that theory just got killed when a Koloshian ordered an Arxur. The Human's wouldn't let someone from the Cure Program in a leadership position.
It had to restrain Kila to stop her from hurting herself, but simply drug me by my arm. I chose not to resist. Not the right time. No escape route yet.
Dr. Kilousai led us into a large room with 10 more Arxur in it. The one holding us threw us into the center of the room. Before I could charge Dr. Kilousai and take him hostage, Kila grabbed hold of me and wouldn’t let go. Not good. I gently took hold of her and moved her in such a way that she would feel safe but could easily be moved to defend myself. Sorry Kila. It's you or me in this situation.
Dr. Kilousai cleared his throat to speak causing Kila to jerk and look at him. Stupid. He isn’t the threat. I kept my eyes on the Arxur. They didn’t flinch.
“Welcome to the labs! Here I work diligently to ensure that the Federation has all the tools necessary to keep everyone safe!” He grasped his tentacles together in a giddy excitement. He looked genuinely pleased to share this with us. Odd.
“SAFE! SAFE? These are fucking monsters! We aren’t safe!” I couldn’t stop Kila from stupidly blurting this out. It was clear that upset Dr. Kilousai. Not good. I kept my eyes on him. The Arxur clearly wouldn’t move unless he ordered them to. He was the threat in this room.
“Sorry, I wasn’t referring to you Female Venlil Feed Subject #387V-42.” Spehg. He assigned her a name like that. Likely to distance her being from the idea of her personhood. I wasn’t stupid. My name right now is likely not too far off from hers. Need to change that. He continued “You see. In order for there to be prosperity there must be safety. For there to be safety there must be control.” He wasn’t wrong. It oddly made sense. I knew the federation could field billions of ships for every single one the Arxur could, but they never took the initiative to exterminate them.
“When we, the founding species, discovered the third race of intelligent beings, we were aghast at their barbaric and primitive natures. They were still killing each other with sticks! And for what? Land? Water? Food?” He started to pace back and forth. “NO! They killed each other in the thousands because the other members of their species were simply their enemies! Couple this with the disgusting act of eating corpses, fish and other small animals, every attempt to make them into something respectable failed. They were just too aggressive. Too… predatory.”
Kila just started to sob. He gestured to the squad of Axur in the room. “Take the Arxur for example. When we discovered them they were locked in a civil war over ideals. The Ideals of is it better to be feared or to be loved? The dominion believed that cruelty was the best way to control and keep their people safe, while the Northwest Bloc tried to be transparent with their people, tried to let them be free, even if that made things dangerous.” I thought about it. Thought about the Federation's early history. The Krakotl were a problem. Nikonus said so himself. The federation was trying love and found it failed. Then comes the Arxur fighting for an answer to the same question… I think I knew where he was going with this.
“The best thing happened when we made contact! They declared peace! They started to work together! Both sides desperately strove to incorporate our technology and follow our uplift plan! They desperately wanted to be like us! To live in peace and harmony! The only uplifts to ever do so without us having to prune their primitive cultures first!”
Kila shook her head in disbelief. “The only mistake we made with them was not realizing that they were incapable of digesting plant matter at all. They were the first sapient obligate carnivores that we had ever found! So when the time came and a famine struck Wriss, we gave them a cure to end their dependence on meat. Ooops! Killed nearly a fourth of their population! Thankfully it didn’t kill all of them. Though something strange happened. All of their livestock died. When we realized what had happened we already began to draft an extermination plan and got our fleet into position when the oddest thing happened.”
He held his tentacles wide in excitement. “Their PROPHET contacted us! Let us know that the dominion had taken control! That they used our ‘cure’ to kill their livestock. He made his people doubt the way of the Northwest bloc, and reinforced that the Dominion is in the right. He gave us proof of what we always knew. FEAR. Fear rules unchallenged. So we gave the Prophet’s most loyal weapons, and they purged the Northwest Blocs staunchest defenders. Then came the time for them to return the favor they owed us.”
“We moved our fleets out of the way. After all, We had no idea we were about to be attacked! Then the dominion launched its campaign and worlds fell. People fled in fear, and our control went from being loosely held by us to being a noose around the primitives necks.”
“My soldiers here are a gift from the dominion.” He gestured around to all of the Arxur. “I raised them from their eggs. Made them the perfect soldiers. With them we can ensure that if we or the dominion need someone… erased or need just a little bit of chaos to remind the mindless masses who is in charge well… they will ensure it always happens flawlessly.”
Kila looked up in horror and opened her stupid mouth again. “You.. You're a monster!” He just laughed this time. Not a good sign. “ME?! A monster? Monsters hurt sapient creatures without a single care. There are four sapient races in the galaxy. The Kolshians, the Farsul, the Prophet descendants, and Humanity.”
“The dominion keeps its people scared of starving and thus in control. Sadly that leaves them as sub-sapients, but every so often they get a useful tool and we authorize an uplift to our status.” I think I understand what he was talking about. Kila. She wasn’t really a person was she?
“I grow bored of this. I was hoping that maybe you were worth something. I guess I was wrong…” He slowly paced away from the center of the room. Distancing myself just far enough away if either of them rushed me they would never be able to get to me. “My children. Eat.”
In one motion every Arxur turned to look at us. With one step heard, all of them put a foot forward and then… I decided to act.
With one fluid movement I brandished my knife from its hiding spot. I grabbed Kila. Then I slid My knife into the base of her spine. She let out a blood curdling scream as she fell to the floor. Tears poured from her eyes as she looked up to me and then to her legs as she failed to move them. she began to sob hysterically and tried to crawl to the corridor we entered from.
As she slowly made her last attempt to escape, I cast the knife aside, letting it slide harmlessly across the floor till it came to a stop at the Doctor’s feet. He gave me a quizzical look. I stood proud and stated “I am more use to you as a tool than as feed for your soldiers. I know the inner workings of Venlil Primes government better than Tarva herself. I know how to wrap Humans around my fingers and make them do my bidding without them having a clue it's happening. Use me. I guarantee you that you will regret letting them eat me.”
After he picked up my knife and walked to me with his tail flicking happily behind him. “YES! I knew you were truly a sapient being! I am so relieved that I was right about you! You saw it, yes? How she wasn’t like us? How she couldn’t act beyond what she was told?” I could. That wasn’t a person. It was a scared stupid animal. Not worth my care. “Wisterly, a lot of races consider yours to be weak. Do you know what I think about your race?”
I took a moment to ponder the question. With a slight tilt to my head I responded “No Sir. I do not know what you think of my race.”
His tail flicked with excitement. “I think your race has always had great potential. Sadly a lot of your race are gullible to say the least, but you? You are something special. You don’t just accept your fate!” He waved a tentacle at the crawling, sniveling animal. “You aren’t like them! You ACT! You think! You change your fate! Come now! We are in great need of your skills!” He handed me back my knife and ordered. “Oh. #592A-01. Feed.”
He started to talk to me about their plans and how I would be fitting in to it as #592A-01 approached the food. He placed a foot on its legs pining it in place. It left streaks of orange blood across the floor as it ripped its claws out trying to escape. Then #592A-01 apparently failed its test. It bent down holding the feed still, locked its jaws around the head and bit down crushing the skull and killing the feed instantly.
“STOP. STOP STOP STOP. WHAT IN MY NAME WAS THAT!” #592A-01 froze, before it stood to attention. “I killed the feed Father.” He let out a long defeated sigh. “Did I TELL you to kill the feed?”
“No Father.”
He took a step closer to him “Why did I tell you to feed? And Why did I not tell you to kill?”
“So that when the time comes I can flawlessly imitate the Dominion’s Arxur, Father.”
He turned away and threw his tentacles into the air. “Children. Eat.”
#592A-01 stood perfectly still as its siblings approached. Another of the Arxur held #592A-01’s arms still as it locked its jaws around his abdomen and ripped its intestines out. The others descended on it as the Doctor led me out of the room and gave one final order. “Don’t eat the head. Bring that to the lab before it starts to rot.”
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Memory transcription subject: Subject #592A-01
Date [standardized human time]: REDACTED
Current Order: Wait at elevator door to enact further instructions.
The door opened. Father was there with two Venlil. One began to panic. The other froze.
Current Order: Bring Venlil unharmed with Father wherever he wishes.
I grabbed them and had to pin the screaming one's arms to stop her from harming herself. The scared one was easy to pull along. I like that one. Its fur is soft. Maybe if I am good Father will let me keep it? Like the sleeping Sivkit.
Current Order: Leave Venlil in center of room for feeding exercise. Guard door.
I stood still waiting for Father to issue his orders. Crying Venlil was Crying. I couldn't make her feel better. I felt sad as the other one was rather cute. Wish we didn’t have to eat that one. He was rather warm. Would have been nice to sleep next too.
Current Order: Fake step towards Venlil.
The calm one was not nice. He stabbed the crying one in the spine and paralyzed her from the waist down. I wish we could fix her instead of eating her. I bet she is nice. Maybe Father might let us have her now? I would have to clean her as she likely can’t control her bowel movements but that's ok! It would be nice to have a friend!
Current Order: Eat Crying Venlil.
I am sorry little one. I will make this as painless as possible.
Current Order: Don’t move, Answer questions.
Father is so mad at me. He was testing me and I failed. I am a failure. I deserve this. Mate approaches me now. Mate will eat me. Grow strong from my body mate. May the next mate Father selects for you be better than me.
ERROR: UNABLE TO PARSE TRANSCRIPT: CAUSE: DEATH OF SUBJECT
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Happy April Fools Day! I hope you guys are having fun! Uh… APRIL FOOLS! This wasn’t a joke at all! It was the start of my Bonus series. A collection of small stories that are definitely AU and explore Ideas I have. This may or may not have a sequel. So fell free to continue it if you like the Idea as you may be the only one too!
As with all of my fanfics this is considered creative commons by myself so feel free to grab anything from my stories to use in your own works! I would appreciate a shout out for this but that isn’t required.

Lothli woke up bright and early this Saturday, as always. Then, with a yawn, she checked her phone: April 1st.
Was there something important happening today? I don’t quite remember…
Her thoughts were quickly swept away by the mundanity of her morning routine. Pulling on clothes, brushing her teeth, doing her hair…
And so, she was entirely caught off guard when she arrived in the kitchen.
Her twin sister cackled like a madwoman, stirring a gigantic cauldron smelling burnt iron, cotton candy, and writer’s tears.
“Maishul, what exactly have you done?” Lothli sighed, ambling over to the bubbling cauldron.
“This? Oh, just a little April Fool’s prank!” the other twin giggled before pulling out a miniature figurine of a strange humanoid insect. With a snap of her fingers, the statuette grew to full size, glancing around warily.
“Oh goodness! What’s going on here?” the moth woman exclaimed, seeming more confused than frightened. “What kind of insect are you? I’ve never seen anyone with just four limbs like you two!”
Lothli turned to Maishul, a frown on her face. “Is this Minerva? Did you STEAL her? We’re going to get banned, you know.”
The other twin continued cackling, heedless of Lothli’s wrath. “No, no, I got permission! Look!”
Indeed, the paper Maishul pulled out did have the signatures of one, two… how many authors?!
“Maishul, what the heck have you done?” Lothli huffed. “This is— how do we—”
“Excuse me, but I believe I may be lost?” Minerva asked, her wings fluttering nervously. “While I would love to ask the two of you some questions, I need to return to my lab, if you could point me in the right direction?”
“Oh, I apologize, Dr. Minerva. You’re currently experiencing a dream. Please do forget about this,” Lothli sighed before snapping her fingers and reverting the insectoid woman to her figurine form.
“How exactly are we going to explain this to Polaris?” Lothli deadpanned with her gaze on her happy-go-lucky sibling.
“Oh, I have a good ‘ol industrial barrel of Remove-Yo-Memory. I’m sure it’ll turn out fine!” Maishul grinned back. “Look, look! Let me show you what wonderful scenes I’ve cooked up for everyone!”
Scene One: Art’s Very Bad, No Good Day
I was not having a good day. First, I was thrown into yet another random plane of existence. Dimension hopping was something I wanted to experience no more than one time in my life; thank you very much. And yet, here I was. In yet another random plane of existence with absolutely no say.
“Iklem.”
Second all, I found myself surrounded by these strange creatures. Four legs, shimmering black pelt, bizarre snake-like neck, flat head, creepy singular eye, and that weirdly human voice. Definitely not a fan.
“Iklem.”
The three Iklems crept—
Ahem. The plural of Iklem is Iklemli, Art.
And thirdly, that obnoxious voice ringing out in my head. Who was that? Why were they in my head? And why could they read my thoughts?
Fine. The three Iklemli crept closer and closer, predatory intent clear. I backed away slowly before my phone suddenly burst out with the cheery tune of Weird Al singing, “Just eat it (eat it), eat it (eat it)...”
“I’m in the mother of all situations here, Demoness, and you choose a freaking parody song? Can you at least tell me what the hell is happening here?” I snarled into my phone’s mic, watching the approaching monsters closely.
“M’dear, I hate to say it, but I have no clue what’s happening.” The slight strain in the Demoness’s usually sultry voice gave me pause. That Demoness? Confused? I really was in some deep shit, wasn’t I?
“Could you at least tell me what an Iklem is?” I said, imitating those creatures as best I could.
“My love, how do I explain this? As best as I could tell, at least five foreign dimensions have been forced together into one singular mess. And whoever did it had no grace or finesse at all.”
Tell the Demoness that she has no grace or finesse, either! Hmph!
Rolling my eyes, I communicated the feelings of my new head neighbor to the Demoness.
“Well, dear, tell your new friend that they should consider undoing this fiasco,” the Demoness replied with a sigh. “Whatever the case is, those Iklemli you mentioned are from one of those other dimensions. I can’t tell you a thing about them.”
With that good news, I turned back to the advancing beasts. This was going to be a fun one…
“Maishul, you can’t just break the fourth wall and shove your thoughts into the scene,” Lothli huffed, shaking her head.
“Pfffft!” Maishul blew a raspberry before turning back to her abomination of a cauldron.
“Also, you can’t just swap to first-person narration. We’re in third-person narration.”
“Well, Matt writes in first-person. And I respect our fellow author’s intent; thank you very much!”
Lothli raised an eyebrow in response before pointing to the bubbling cauldron of doom. “You call THAT respecting our fellow authors’ intents?”
“They gave permission!” Maishul pouted before turning back to her inglorious creation. “And you won’t complain once you see my next glorious scene!”
Scene Two: Sloth Squared
Pride’s scowl only grew deeper as he dragged his erstwhile companion along. The swampland around them had warped into a blooming forest, with trees looming large overhead. The various fully intact buildings were most concerning, indicating that the pair had passed into a rift.
“Sloth, GET UP!” he hissed, shaking the lazy layabout.
“Huh? Wuzzit? I’m sleepin…” Sloth snored, already back asleep.
“We’ve got a MAJOR problem here. Pretty sure a rift opened around us, so stay on guard!”
Sloth blearily stumbled to his feet before glancing wide-eyed at his surroundings.
“Holy cow, you’re right! I didn’t even notice. But, man, Pride, I’m so tired… I…” Sloth stumbled a bit further before faceplanting directly into a bed of flowers.
“Dammit, Sloth. This is ridiculous, even for your standards.” Pride leaned down to pick Sloth back up, but something strange was afoot. As soon as he leaned down, an overwhelming surge of exhaustion passed through him as well, and he collapsed on top of his companion.
“Dude, you’re sleeping right on top of a good patch. Can you two move?” A voice lazily drifted into Pride’s mind before he rocketed up ramrod straight.
“Hwa— what!? Oh. A rifter.” Pride composed himself as he stared down at the man who awoke him. About five foot six, with short white hair and red eyes.
“Uh, I’m not a rifter or whatever you just called me. I’m Clear, prince of Sloth. And you?” Clear tilted his head.
“Prince… of me? Ehehe, there’s no prince of me…” Sloth murmured in his sleep.
“Typical rifter, spewing nonsense. Come on, you lazy bum. We’re gonna hide before this gets violent.” Pride turned to drag Sloth away but found his legs unwilling to move.
“Hey, man. C’mon now. You haven’t noticed you’re in a dream yet?” Clear said, his hand extended. “Let’s just talk, alright?”
Pride struggled for a few more moments, then back at Clear. “Alright, alright, never seen a rifter do that before. Calm down, yeah? I’ll chat until this rift collapses.”
“So please, introduce yourself properly this time,” Clear responded, freeing Pride with a flick of his hand.
“Right. I’m Pride, that’s Sloth.” Pride pointed at himself, then at his companion. “Can we go?” “No. Please explain what you are doing here and those wings on your back.” Clear yawned. “Also, don’t use our nation’s name as a moniker. It’s probably disrespectful… or something. Eh, we don’t actually care that much.”
“Huh? We’re here because your stupid rift pulled us in,” Pride hissed. “And these wings? We were born with ’em. No story here. Also, pretty sure we were the ones who had those names first.”
“Eh, the kingdom of Pride wouldn’t be very happy to hear about that,” Clear responded. “But whatever, man. Things have been rather chill ever since a random blob named Sparky fell on top of the Demon King and ate him or whatever. So enjoy the nap, I guess. Mind if I join in?”
Pride rolled his eyes before scooting over to allow Clear access to the flowers. Before long, Sloth and Clear were snuggled up together, much to the chagrin of Pride.
“What the hell am I supposed to do now?”
“Aren’t they just the cutest?!” Maishul exclaimed. “We should make that our newest OTP. I bet Haru would approve.”
“Please don’t ship characters across two different SerSuns,” Lothli replied with a shake of her head. “Also what was that about Sparky eating the Demon King—”
“OKAYNEXTSCENE!!”
Scene Three: Machines, Demons, and The World Tree
There was a rather strange rash of oddly dressed folk in Lugavya lately. Or rather, just odd folk in general.
Rumors flew of a human with bird wings who passed over the town, carried through hurried whispers between the residents. A strange man with fierce red eyes insisting on making ‘deals,’ much to the annoyance of passersby trying to get through their day.
Lena and Veska had met to investigate, unable to keep themselves still while such strange events abounded. No sooner had the two exchanged greetings did two strange men approach, flagrantly discarding any sensibilities on their right to free speech.
“Hello!” the younger one called out before getting his head gently bonked by the older.
“W-what was it? Oh! The greeting we use should have been ‘well met,’ right?” the teenage boy puzzled himself, rubbing his head.
“No. Firstly, as foreign visitors, we do not use that greeting. Secondly, we do not greet them. They greet us,” the older whispered, turning his eyes to Lena and Veska. It seemed at least one of them remembered their manners.
“Peace, strangers. We will not begrudge you for your transgressions. Tell me, what business have you with us?” Lena began.
“We are looking for directions. We have lost our way. Please, would you tell us our current location? Latitude and longitude are preferred, but any notable landmarks will do.” The older man bowed slightly, with the younger following shortly after.
Latitude? Longitude? These words were unfamiliar to Lena and Veska.
“This is Lugavya. Home to Alvedos, the World Tree?” Veska explained, an eyebrow raised. Were these folks raised under a rock or something?
The two men conversed among themselves, their frowns deepening.
“Apologies, but I am unaware of Lugavya. Could you perhaps point us in the direction of the United States?” the older asked, tilting his head slightly.
“Oh, and if you know of any demons, could you put in a word for me? I can’t figure out the ritual to get home without one of them…” the younger added.
The United States? Demons? More unfamiliar terms. Lena and Veska knew these newcomers were oddballs, but this was a bit much.
“I’m sorry—really! But we simply don’t have the knowledge to help the two of you. Perhaps you could head to the Foresters? I’ll give you their location.” Lena rattled off directions to the nearby Foresters’ hall.
“Thank you very much.” The older man stalked off after a stiff bow, and the younger man quickly followed.
“Sticks and stones, what is the world coming to?”
“Was that Megan’s SerSun? All that intricately balanced worldbuilding, and you just shoved random crap in.” Lothli barely held back a sigh. “Also, you didn’t even introduce those two characters. How are our readers supposed to know who they are?”
“This is left as an exercise to the reader,” Maishul tittered into the camera before returning to the glorious mess in her cauldron.
“Next scene!”
Scene Four: The One With No Chill
There wasn’t much that could faze a Huntress.
It was often said that their wills were unshakable. Nothing could cause them to stop them from single-mindedly accomplishing their goal. And yet, Olivia stood dead in her tracks, staring at the abomination across the Dam square.
“I AM OLIVIA. DARK HUNTRESS. SMASHER OF SQUEAKERS. AND THE ONE WITH NO CHILL,” the awful creature that vaguely resembled Olivia boomed.
“That young lass a friend of yours?” Barlow remarked, barely holding back a chuckle.
“Nope.” Olivia chucked one of her daggers at the offending sight, but she deflected the blade with a ripple of its musculature.
“You are weak. You have no strength. Witness me, false Olivia.” The muscle monster took up a ridiculous pose, her muscles overtly flexing.
“I will destroy you. And after that, I will destroy your creator. And I’ll salt your entire bloodline, while I’m at it,” Olivia snarled.
“I would like to see you try, false Olivia. Last time, I was overcome by the power of the Deus Ex Machina. But this time, I will not be struck down.” The monster took a step forward, the cobblestones cracking under her feet.
Olivia flinched. A Huntress does not feel fear. A Huntress does not back down. Yet… in the face of this horrible being… Her mind recalled the near-death experience she had with the Beast. Did she really want to face that again?
She shook her head, clearing it. No. She would finish this. Olivia raced at the mocking facsimile of herself, her onyx daggers at the ready. As she drew closer, she summoned every ounce of strength and struck.
As Olivia flew through the air, the world seemed to slow down.
Ah… this feels… familiar…
“‘Admittedly, Huntress, you are quite the entertainer—”
“No!” Lothli slapped the figurines out of Maishul’s hands, sinking them into the dreadful mire of the cauldron below. “You can’t reuse that line for the third time!”
“But you used it, Lothli. That’s hypocritical!” Maishul harrumphed.
“Yes, because it was the first time we used it. You can’t just reuse jokes like that!” Lothli glared. “And don’t think I forgot about that comment Clear made about Sparky. What. Exactly. Did you do?”
“Uhm, uhh…” Maishul stuttered. “W-Well, I maybe kinda spilled some my Story-Breaking-Plot-Devices into the cauldron on accident…”
“Your WHATS?!” Lothli stared at her twin in disbelief.
“Uhh, it wasn’t a big deal or anything. Just, uh... Scarlet, the Demon King, Sparky, Wan, Pre-Geas Dread Lord Ardus, the plague from , the Deus Ex Machina, the Beast, and the entirety of the United States’ arsenal of nuclear weaponry.”
Lothli shook her head with a sigh. “I’m pretty sure you caused mass human extinction at least three times over.”
“Well! No time to worry about it! Next scene!”
Scene Five: Bea and Ophelia Discover The Wonders of Nuclear Physics
Bea and Ophelia stared at the booklet that had just materialized before them. “Maishul’s Simple Guide to Stealing and Utilizing the Entirety of the United States’ Arsenal of Nuclear Weaponry: For Dummies!” The booklet was decorated with garish stickers of rainbows and glitter, along with cartoonish mushroom clouds.
With a glance at Ophelia, Bea picked up the book. Immediately, her mind was flooded with images and knowledge. Where exactly every nuclear silo in the United States was located. The launch codes and how to bypass the two-key rule. The birth and loving families of each and every nuclear warhead…?
“Bea? Dear? Are you alright?” Ophelia shook Bea gently, concerned. Bea wordlessly handed over the booklet and watched the same information flow through her. The two shared a meaningful glance before turning the manual over. A bright red button sat there, glowing ominously amongst the childish stickers and drawings of shocked faces.
“This is absolutely too dangerous to be left just lying around,” Bea murmured, staring at the booklet intently. Maybe it was a prank some lesser fae put together to induce some concerning but ultimately harmless illusions. But deep down, the two knew this was far more sinister than a simple prank. Plus, there was no fae named “Maishul” that either of them knew of.
“I’m going to have to seal this thing away with the strongest magic I have,” Ophelia declared. With a wave of her hand, ethereal chains weaved around the book. Magical seals whirled through the air, all concentrated on the offending manual. The horrors of nuclear annihilation have been contained with a final clap of her hands.
For around five seconds. Immediately after the ritual was complete, as if to spite Ophelia’s work, a glowing sword descended from the heavens, slicing through the glowing chains and seals like butter. The two barely managed to glimpse the name written on the side: “The Deus Ex Machina,” before the blade landed squarely on the big red button with a satisfying click!
“Shit.”
“So what exactly were you saying about ‘not worrying about it’?” Lothli shook her head in dismay. “How are we going to explain this mess to their poor, poor writers? What are we going to say to Bay?”
“It’ll be fine! I’m not breaking any of the rules on shortstories, which means I totally can’t be banned!” Maishul quipped cheerily.
“That is 100% not how it works.” Lothli crossed her arms. “Don’t drag me down with you.”
“I dunno! You’ll bail me out, right?” Maishul shrugged before returning to her appalling project. “Next scene!”
Scene Six: Sanguia Loses a Fight
These were the end times. The world felt… sideways. The government was in shambles. A plague that turned people into fine, yellow dust had apparently appeared, sweeping the continent from east to west. Yet, there was nothing I could do. Right in front of me, I had my own foes to contend with on the roof of Holos Lucidium.
On my right was a shapeless mass, writhing and transforming, throwing vicious barbs my way. It never introduced itself, but I knew its name from within myself: the Beast.
On my left was a much more innocent figure, at least on the surface. He had slicked-back black hair, brown eyes simmering with self-assured pride, and an easy smirk. And to cap it off, he introduced himself promptly and with great gusto; he was Dread Lord Ardus.
I could attempt to flee, but what purpose would that serve? Even if I got away, which my gut told me was highly unlikely, I would be abandoning my guild to die to these two monsters. So no. I stood my ground here.
“Sanguia. Member of Holos Lucidium.” I balanced my stance between my two flanks, watching both. With a smirk from Ardus and a ripple from the Beast, the fight began.
I quickly discarded the idea of even fighting the rippling mass on my right. It had no blood I could control, and impacting it with my blade would make me stuck. But the Dread Lord was no slouch, either.
As I rushed at Ardus, a tingle in my spine screamed at me to duck. I tucked into a combat roll as a great blast of flame roared right where I used to be.
“Fiesty, aren’t you? Well, that’s what makes it fun,” the Dread Lord growled, licking his lips.
I had no time to respond as a raging, shimmering bull attempted to ram its gleaming horns directly through me. I sprung off the ground, landing just behind the writhing bull. There was no time to go on the offensive; it took all I could to stay alive.
“Stop struggling, Interloper,” the Beast snarled. “I have plans I have to attend to. Plans that do not involve you.”
I kept the undulating mass between myself and my second opponent. My only hope was to promote crossfire. The dagger I held in my right hand felt woefully inadequate for this task.
“You heard the fella. I’ll end this, here and now.” Ardus thrust his hand straight up into the air as if grasping something far above him.
“Dread Lord. May I take this as a sign of betrayal?” The Beast rumbled, a dangerous edge to its voice.
“Nah, I never said I was working with you. You’re too… icky for my tastes.” The Dread Lord tapped his chin thoughtfully. “It’s a good thing you’ll be obliterated in an instant. Ta ta!”
I looked up with a heavy heart, knowing how outclassed I was. There was barely time to say goodbye before a massive ball of light enveloped me in its all-consuming shine. The last thing I managed to think was:
That was an utterly unfair fight.
“Well, the protagonist of our SerSun just died. What now?” Lothli looked at the cauldron in dismay.
“Hey, it’s not so bad! Scarlet is still alive, right?” Maishul dug around in the cauldron before pulling out yet another distended scene. “Look! Here she is!”
“What… is that?” Lothli looked at the scene with equal parts awe and disgust.
“Oh! Well, I really liked Fye’s SerSun, so I made my own! Isn’t it great?”
“Maishul, I think you missed the entire point of his SerSun. Where’s the inter-character drama? Where’s the mystery? Where’s the actual HISTORY?” Lothli poked the off-kilter scene with distaste. “This version of the story is just <Murder.>.”
“Well too bad, dear ‘ol sis! Here! We! Go!”
Scene Seven: Murder Without the History
Hi, I’m Benedict Lushon, Ben for short. Somehow, I think I just unlocked the secret to teleportation. I stand in the middle of the mansion’s dining room, feeling my stomach turn violently. One moment, I was chained in front of a cackling Kyle, and the next thing I know, we’re back in this blasted room. I crane my head, checking who else is here.
Teddy, check. His monocle and top hat are still crooked as he looks around the room, just as confused as I.
Cornell, check. Unfortunately, he still seems to be out cold.
Kyle, check. Wait—
I stride up to Kyle and grab onto his lapels. “What exactly have you done?” I say, shaking him back and forth.
Unfortunately, he seems even more confused by the current events than I am, judging by the bulging eyes and frothing at the mouth.
“W-What exactly happened here!? We were just— and then—” my former coworker manages to sputter out before a booming feminine voice rings out from the walls.
“Heya! What’s up, characters! It’s me, ya girl Maishul, back at it again with another fun murdery twist!” The cheery voice that booms out from the walls contrasts with all the horrors we’ve seen thus far. Also, who talks like this? Did we get kidnapped by one of those Instagram influencers? Ugh, I hate those kinds of people.
“Who are you?! What have you done?!” Kyle screams, his voice cracking. “I have waited YEARS to take my revenge on these fools, and you—”
“Oh. You.” The voice seems displeased at the interruption. “Sorry, I didn’t think your Tuffy plotline was interesting, so I retconned it!”
Now, that was the mark of a bad writer. As a future multi-bestselling author, I know that one of the most sinful things a writer can do is randomly retcon the story. I’m confident this random influencer girl will never go anywhere in her writing career.
“YOU! We were known as the Tufforo family, and we—” Kyle rages before being cut off by the voice again.
“Sorry, don’t care.” A piece of duct tape manifests itself directly onto Kyle’s mouth. I would find it funny if it didn’t demonstrate how supernatural this influencer’s power seems.
“Anyways! Here’s the rules. I’m not really good at that being cryptic thing, so it’ll be easy!” the voice announces with glee. “Here’s my super special sparkly OC, do not steal, known as Scarlet, Scourge of the Americas. She’ll try and chase you down! She wins when you’re all dead. You all win when, I don’t know, she dies of old age or something. You can try to kill her; it won’t work!”
‘Super special sparkly OC, do not steal?’ So, what, did I find myself in some hellish parody of Earth? That must be it. This must all be a very terrible dream. I sincerely hope that none of my readers would ever consider making fanfiction like this of my stories.
“By jove, those rules seem downright unfair!” Teddy finally seems to have found his voice. “Please, good madam, could you let us go? We have already suffered at the hands of that accursed man—”
“Lalala, can’t hear you!” the girl’s voice sang out. “Here she comes! Give it up for… Scarlet!”
A hidden panel drops a… rather regular-looking young woman onto the floor. Why, if I were in charge, I would have ensured that my villain would have a spectacular appearance. Someone as fascinating and spellbinding as Jack the Ripper—
Scarlet dashes at Kyle and [REDACTED]
… … Technical Difficulties
“MAISHUL! What the hell was that?! Is that how you talk when I’m not around? And what the hell was that last section?” Lothli furiously slapped the tortured scene back into the accursed project bubbling menacingly below.
“Well, Scarlet’s kinda messy, so I tried to cover it up,” Maishul pouted. “Also, I was just trying to liven up the scene a bit! Kyle’s so BORING. He speaks in RIDDLES and they make my brain HURT.”
“That’s because you don’t have a single brain cell in that head of yours,” Lothli huffed. “Don’t make such sweeping changes to people’s stories!”
“Well… dear sis, could I trouble you for a favor, since I’m so head empty ‘n all?” Maishul smiled her widest, most brilliant smile.
“What.” The other twin glared back, unimpressed.
“Well, if you don’t want the two of us to get banned, can you help me separate these stories back out? Please?” With a fluttering of her eyelashes and a winsome wink, this would undoubtedly win her sister to her side—
“Deal with it yourself. I’m going to hand out apologies.” Lothli had no sympathy for her twin’s plight.
“Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!” Maishul cried. For now, she was burdened with her least favorite task; actual work.
And thus, this tale comes to a close. Nevertheless, its name will ring true throughout the land as the legendary fable known only as “In the Shadow of Machines, Scarlet, and the In Between Geas and the Beginning of the Demon Murder History: Dissonance, also How Did We Get Here?”
Thank you very much for your time. And apologies for my sister.
Lothli, signing off.
Credits: Maishul, Lothli, FTF!Olivia, and the Deus Ex Machina, from u/Lothli’s FTF Serial, Minerva and the plague, from u/PolarisStorm’s Art, Demoness Virtua, Sparky, and Dread Lord Ardus from u/mattswritingaccount’s Iklemli, Lena, and Veska from u/MeganBessel’s Pride and Sloth from u/Helicopterdrifter’s Clear and Alex from u/Carrieka23’s Talix, Sanguia, and Scarlet from u/Lothli’s Olivia, Barlow, and the Beast from u/Not_theScrumPolice’s Wan, Bea, and Ophelia from u/ZachtheLitchKing’s Ben, Theodore, Cornell, and Kyle from u/FyeNite’s The Entirety of the United States Arsenal of Nuclear Weaponry from the United States.
Special thanks to u/OldBayJ, which this fantastic feature would be impossible without.

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^{21+ only. If you or someone you know has a gambling problem and wants help, call 1-800-GAMBLER and visit} /problemgambling

Hi, I'm hoping someone would have the answer to this. I am looking at switching careers and have an opportunity to work within a team of someone who is in the editors guild (local 700). My question is if I eventually wanted to join the union, can I do so living in Maryland? This would be a remote job, but it looks like to join the east coast local 700, you must live in either NY or NJ. I'm not seeing those requirements for the west coast but I need to look at all avenues before quitting my current position.

Spoiler ahead, be warned, (cringe ahead)
The title is suppose to be

MY PERSONAL OPINION ON SOME OF THE ASPECT OF THE TENSEI SLIME UNIVERSE.

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To be honest, my mind had actually gone haywire and gone on an very deep rabbit hole since I first heard of this franchise and decided to watch and read it back in 2018. As in north is east and south is west. Now, I would finally voiced my opinion on some of the franchise, shall we...let looks at the map of the universe...I mean the actual map, damn it and head from West to East. Spoilers ahead.
The Eastern Empire: Rudra, Rudra, Rudra, oh how the mighty have fallen, the empire who think they would easily invade Tempest, or, how wrong they were, and they lost lots of soldiers (940000 in the WN, I forgot how much is it on the LN or the author decided not to mentioned it). I had some feeling the counts/royalty/politicians there are still feeling a bit salty from the loss.
​
The Puppet Kingdom of Jistarv: Clayman is trash, like actual world dumpsite trash, a trash personality, trash management. And oh boy is he so useless, that Shion (or any Rimuru's subordinate for that matter) could probably done the 7 page punching scene on Clayman, as if Clayman has a river of useless flowing in his vein. That being said, the recent spinoff does start a redemption arc for him, so it would be interesting to see how does he develops.
Milim: She is industrial grade strong, yet very reliant on Rimuru to have some fun stuff, that it could be the formerly 4 districts territory currently held by Milim could be seen in a way an extension of Rimuru's federation. Meanwhile, she also like to have what Rimuru have(If Rimuru have the Four Heavenly Kings, Milim wants to have a Four Heavenly Kings for herself, and I would not be suprise if Rimuru eventually have an airport for the airship base, she would probably also want to have an airport. It would be interesting to see what does she bulid when the construction for the new town, which is located at Clayman Spoiler for Volume 18: My reaction when Carrera would be the one that goes to Milim territory is one of: Wait...waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwait....what?
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Juru Jura Tempest Federation: A territory being governed by slime, when in human form, has a set of blue hair and yellow eyes. To explain the Federation of its entirety is a chore that it need to have another post (this time next year unfortunately) so let just talk about the Primordials named by Rimuru this time around.

1. Diablo: Diablo has a very weird personality, the things he has done was based of how he amused by how the world work were very weird and disturbing, to an outside observer, they think he is probably drinking bad tap water since he was a child. An interesting character, but oh boy if you pissed him off, you would be in a very bad place.
2. Testarossa: Her white hair especially when she is wearing black clothes make her as beautiful as a drawbridge on the coast at Kua...wait what was I talking about, oh yeah, Testarossa. She has a very good backstory, that it could warrant another post (end of this month or next month perhaps).
3. Carrera: Previously a bigger fan of explosion than Megumin (somehow), before she was named, she probably wrecked some parts of the land so badly that it burning red, though not to the point of it becoming a radioactive wasteland...yet. Thankfully under the supervision of Rimuru, she is no longer wreaking havoc...I think (I hope it is)
4. Ultima: Yes she is more of a petite woman, and probably at the first glance, the enemies think that she has as much of a fighting power as a university student, until they realized (especially after Rimuru renamed her) that she actually packs a punch, and the recent movie and the spinoff manga chapters shows that she could be the one to watch.

BTW, spinoff on the East Coast demon realm (now that there are no longer a Primodial staying there) when, Fuse?
Oh dear, that took a good chunk of time, to explain, so lightning round then
Blumund: A small kingdom that packs a punch
The various Western states: The fact that the borders of the kingdom inside it is not shown yet seems like a death flag, and it felt like the upcoming war would probably force the kingdoms merge into one, ruled by an otherworlder.
Jo... I mean... Iskan... Ingracia, thats the one: I like to see how close does the relation between their Kingdom and Holy Empire. For the safety of myself, no comment on Prince Elric, and ESPECIALLY NO COMMENT IN REGARDS TO WHAT HE HAD DONE IN LN VOLUME 19.
Holy Empire Ruberios: Let me spit it out, Luminous lust on Chloe and Hinata is concerning, and is as concerning as the Facebook post of an old auntie, who just happened to be the w..[REDACTED]. A special mention to Roy (who is unfortunately killed by Laplace), who let me put it this way

When he decided to go back first from the Walpurgis on LN volume 7, he really does not plan properly in regards to the oncoming danger and get himself killed.
For the upcoming danger from the East, he should have a plan for the danger from the East. They have a East, danger, to the world, the have a together and a East [REDACTED] plan. He must be careful from the East.

So that it for the post and have a good month coming ahead.
P/s: I am thankful that the horny war is over, so we could have time to discuss the Luminous doctrine on non-Malays monsters. (Oh dear what have I done)
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/s btw. Have a good month.

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Daftar 5 Provider Slot Gacor Hari Ini Terlengkap Dengan Bocoran Rtp Slot Tertinggi
Buat kamu pecinta situs judi slot online terpercaya, admin slot jarwo ingin membagikan daftar 5 provider game judi slot gacor gampang menang hari ini sekaligus memberikan bocoran rtp slot gacor hari ini tertinggi dan terlengkap yang sudah diseleksi terlebih dahulu, apa saja itu? Berikut daftar lengkapnya:
Slot Gacor Hari Ini PG Soft
Medusa II, Fortune Gods, Hood Vs Wolf, Dragon Legend, Prosferity Lion, Santa's Gift Rush, Gem Saviour Sword, Pggy Gold, Jungle Delight, mahjong Ways, Captain's Bounty, Ninja Vs Samurai, Dragon Tiger Luck, Mahjong Ways 2, Queen Of Bounty, Jewels Of Prosperity, Wizdom Wonders.
Slot Gacor Hari Ini Pragmatic Play
Sweet Bonanza, Gates Of Olympus, Aztec Gems, Sweet Bonanza Xmas, Starlight princess, Greet Rhino Megaway, 5 Lion Megaway, Christmas Big Bass Bonanza, Book Of The Fallen, Temujin Treasures, Empty The Bank, 5 Lions Gold, Big Juan, Bufflao King, Caishen's Gold, Greek Gods, Super Joker, Joker's Jewel.
Slot Gacor Hari Ini Joker Gaming
Aladdin, Arctic Treasures, Azteca, Book Of Ra, Burning Pearl, Caishen's Riches, Chinese Boss, Cryptomania, Dolphin's Reep, Dynamite Reels, Fat Choy Choy Sun, 50 Lions, Golden Dragon, Happy Buddha, Jin Fu Xin Yun, Lord Of The Ocean, Lucky God Progressive, Lucky Panda, Money Vault.
Slot Gacor Hari Ini Habanero
Orbs, Of Atlantis, Totem Towers, Taberna Muertos, Wealth Inn, Colossal Gems, Lucky Lucky, 5 Lucky Lions, Pumpkin Patch, Prestoi, Ways Of Fortune, 5 Mariachis, Santa's Village, Rolling Roger, The Dead Escape, Panda Panda, Bird, Of Thunder, Fengchuang, Ocean's Call, Zeus II, Coyote Crash, Arcane Elements, Aladdin, The Apes, Aecher Robin Hood, Arctic Strom.
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• Slot Gacor Pragmatic Play
• Slot Gacor Pg Soft
• Slot Gacor Habanero
• Slot Gacor CQ9
• Slot Gacor Spade Gaming
• Slot Gacor Micro Gaming
• Slot Gacor Joker Gaming
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