Just getting started with the official reddit community for Musik Hack here... we are a relatively new audio plugin company with our first product, Master Plan (AU/VST/AAX that turns your mixes into radio-ready masters, without stealing creative control):
https://www.musikhack.com/products/masterplan
On a personal level, I'm Sam, always a musician and programmer and cook (formerly of Sam Makes Food, bake my cookies damnit). If ya'll drop in, say hi, ask questions, give feedback, or share stuff you've done!

I (14F) weight 98.2 Pounds as of this afternoon, I am 5’5. My parents are always complaining about me not eating. I mostly eat smoothies, Fruits, Ice-cream, and Fast Food. I know my diet is not the best but I feel healthy and Competitively play volleyball. My hobbies are very active like Dog walking, Rollerblading, Hikes, And I love Nature! I unfortunately had to stop being in nature because of Tick season but once it’s over I plan to go back out. During Quarantine I developed a restrictive eating disorder. I am fully Recovered now though. According to Google an average 5’5 14 year old female should weigh 119 pounds. I did this by taking the lowest healthy weight 101 and Heaviest healthy weight 137 and did 101+137=238 and /2 Equals 119! So is there any tips or tricks to gain weight? I want to make my parents happy. I know I need to improve my diet but is there anything else? Also how should I improve my diet. I have no dietary restrictions btw!

I am down 9 lbs! I'm assuming it's all water weight right now because my body doesn't look *too* different, but I cannot be happier with the benefits that I've had the last 4 weeks!
My SW is 133lbs, I don't really have a specific goal weight I'd say, as I'm wanting to lose fat, but gain some weight back in muscle. Once I hit my goal appearance, I'm thinking of doing keto at a maintenance level until early next year (when my LDR boyfriend moves in with me), but I really wouldn't mind doing it for longer. It's been extremely beneficial.
Here are some of my findings in the the first month of doing keto:

1. My love for food and cooking has been reignited. I've been struggling with binge eating/purging and having a terrible relationship with food for the last 4 years. I'm now eating things like chicken wings, chicken thighs, steak, bacon, cheese, chicharron, chicken skin and eggs. I used to eat strictly egg whites and chicken breast when I was doing low carb & low fat. At first, I was honestly really worried about tracking again as it's such a slippery slope for me, but I've been planning out my meals and tracking everything just fine. My mental health surrounding food has been so much better.
2. I've been sleeping like a fricken baby. I fall asleep within minutes of my head hitting the pillow, and I feel so well rested when I wake up.
3. Grocery shopping is way more streamlined. I have my list for the week, I'm in and out, and not spending money on random snacks.
4. My skin looks soooo good because of all the water I'm drinking.
5. Speaking of water, I've never used Mio before since I like good ol' regular water, and I started using the blueberry lemonade Mio for my ketoade. Mio is so good lol
6. No bloating! I've been sensitive to something when I ate pizza and pasta but only sometimes. Couldn't figure it out. But now it's not an issue.
7. I'm way less hungry and fasting is much easier. I eat between 12:00 pm and ~6:30 pm and I don't often find the need to snack.
8. I'm eating the most whole foods ever in my life.
9. I've never had such a positive and fun outlook on a big lifestyle change.

The cons list is short- my performance at the gym is still hindered and I get hella sugar cravings. I'm still probably not fully fat adapted yet, but I'm patient. And I'm happy with how things are going!
I've been on this sub every day and I read through everyone's questions and answers as much as possible to keep learning. This is such a wonderful community and I just wanted to give thanks to each and every one of you for your help on this journey :)

Serious Issues - Time to be a Hero - Volume 24
Sunday 24th June 2017
WARNING: THIS VOLUME CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE!
It's been ten days since Natsuki got kidnapped and held hostage by the recently arrived agents from Coomer. We beat them and promptly moved base to this little cabin like structure just at the outskirts of town, it's run down in places but it's nothing we can't fix up! Since last week nobody has reported any sightings of any Coomer agents which is expected, but I know it's just part of how they work. They look for a trial and follow it, until they find you. But when they do, they don't attack, they hang back for awhile and watch, waiting for a moment to take you by surprise. Stalking you. Assessing your strengths and weaknesses. Waiting for an opportunity. When they do make their move, they are quick. They are precise. They are calculating. They do not make mistakes. They do not get cocky. They do not let up for a second. That's why we all need to be on high alert and wide eyed. Hell, normal patrol is more dangerous now than ever! We just need to get permission and recognition from everybody else if we want to patrol for the night! Thankfully we came up with a secret code for the group chat, just in case that anybody that hacks into our group chat will not recognise what we are talking about right away. Basically we use emojis to let the others know about certain things, it's a code and it confuses me at the best of times. But Sayori did put this together on a whim so we should be just that little bit safer now. Right now I'm sitting in my apartment watching tv as I wait for Monika to come back from visiting her parents. She asked me if I wanted to come along but I declined her offer, I just want to rest a little bit from working hard to make the base for us. I had Sayori on my back telling me the various things she wanted, it was like her telling Santa what she wanted for Christmas! It was a ridiculous amount of things I had to make and it really took the wind out of my sails! So here I am, just relaxing I guess... I look at the tv show I was watching, it's some random programme about a teacher making drugs or something? I don't know about it, it's kinda funny I suppose, yet I can't really sit down and just enjoy it. In the back of my mind, I'm worried sick about Monika! She's been away for an hour now and I feel like it's been far too long for her to be out and not at least send me a text or whatever! But I shouldn't think too much of this, I'm just stressed out of my mind and very tired. I rub my eyes as I try to return back to the programme, but I just can't. Now that I've acknowledged the worry I can't get it out of my head! Fuck it! I toss away the remote and grab my phone, I'll just give her a text. Ask her how she's getting on with her parents. I shoot Monika a text in our chat reading:
'hey honey! just checking up on u and ur parents, how is it all going??' I set down my phone and wait for a reply...
one minute passes...
She still hasn't seen my text! Argh! Botan, give her time to pull out the phone and have a look at her notifications! She's with her parents for goodness sake, she can't just focus on me all the time! I need to settle down more! Maybe if I do some chores? I stand up and look around the apartment? What could I do? Maybe give the carpet a vacuum? Yeah! I head over to the closet, pull out the vacuum and bring it over to the centre of the living room. I turn it on and start the routine of clearing up the floor. I move the couch and get under it as I make my way around the room. Reaching into little corners and below the tv stand as I make sure everything's clean! I smile as I turn the vacuum off and see that the carpet is now much cleaner! I smile as I put the vacuum back into the closet. I then head back over to the couch and pick up my phone, Monika still hasn't seen my message? I'm getting concerned now, it's been unread for seven minutes, maybe I should phone her?? I go to select the call option but I stop myself, I am just....overreacting. Give her time. Maybe she left her phone in another room? She's at her parents' house after all? Or maybe she still hasn't gotten a chance to? Right, well what now?
…
Guess some dinner wouldn't hurt? I walk into the kitchen and have a look around the fridge for something to eat? Hmmm, maybe Monika would like something for when she gets back? I grab my phone and give her another text. 'would u like something 4 dinner?' I put my phone back into my pocket as I have another look. Guess I'll have some pizza with some chips! I take out a bag of frozen chips and a pepperoni and cheese pizza, setting them both onto the kitchen counter. I grab a tray for both pizza and fries and set them both out. I head over to the cooker and pre-heat the oven as I give it a minute or so. I then put my chips in first, followed by the pizza and close the oven door. Time to let them cook! I head back over to the living room and sit down. Got to give them time to cook, so what now? I look at the time, it's just coming up to eight? Hmmm, Monika did say she'll be back at around eight so....where is she? Botan! Stop it! I slap myself in the face! I really need to get a grip of myself! Maybe I can destress with a nice bath? Yeah, that will help! I walk into the kitchen and set a timer on the electronic clock for my food to be taken out. I then head into the bathroom and start running the bath. After a few minutes the bath is filled up and has plenty of bubbles going as I take off my clothes, here we go! I step in as the warm water quickly makes me jump in surprise at the heat! I then quickly get in as I relax. Oh yeah, this is much better! I smile, it's almost like I wasn't panicking about my girlfriend potentially going missing when she's out right now! ….urgh! I cover my face in water and take a deep breath. I just need to calm down. That's all. Monika can handle herself. The worse thing that could happen is that she gets killed and I never see her again...rgh! That temper I have, I almost forgot! Jeez, no more thoughts like that! Jesus, why did I even think of that?? Am I really wanting to push myself to burst out there and go looking for her? She's fine! As soon as I think that I hear my phone vibrate in the pocket of my shorts! Oh! That's probably her! I reach over to my towel, drying my hands before grabbing my phone. I take look at the message I just got, it's from Yuri?
Y: 'Hi Botan, I know this may seem a little short notice but can you please come down to the shop? I require your assistance with something' …sigh, fuck off man! I shake my head and chuck my phone away! Fucking Yuri! Why does she have to ask me of all people?! Why not her fucking boy toy?! sigh...calm down man. I'm losing it. Having no Monika around is really bad for me. She's the only thing keeping me from floating away from reason. With Coomer now here too, I guess it's all starting to pile up somewhat? Sigh...right. I pick my phone back up and send Yuri a text.
B: 'kk Yuri, give me 5 mins' I sigh as I sit up, so much for this bath? I quickly get out and dry myself off with a towel. I then walk out of the bathroom after pulling the plug on the bath, my phone vibrates again? I check it, another message from Yuri.
Y: 'thank you very much, please bring your best suit too!' ...oh right! I quickly dry off my hair and get in costume before running to the window-wait! I check on the timer in the kitchen, there's still around fifteen minutes to go? I turn the heat down to the minimum and make the adjust on the time, I just to be sure I don't want to burn down my new home. Monika would kill me. I leap out of the window into the dying light of the day! Okay, to the store! I don't know what's going on with Yuri but she might need my help! Although her texts were quite casual there? No matter! I swing into the air and land on a roof as I see the shop in the distance! Right, be ready for anything! I jump across a gap and leap off of a roof to see Yuri in front of the store? She looks....glum? I land not too far away from her as she looks at me, she doesn't look happy that's for sure? "Thanks for coming Sparrow." She's using my hero name?
B: "Of course citizen? What do you need?" I walk up to her as she looks around herself?
Y: "Uhm, well... there's a person in the store who's...well..." Yuri looks into the store and shivers? "I don't think he's mentally well at all..."
B: "What do you mean?" I look into the store as I spot a man? He's throwing things about in a crazed like fashion?
Y: "I would deal with this myself but..." Yuri whispers as she eyes one of the numerous cameras in the store. "I can't really run off and just come back you know?"
B: "I understand, well what do you think is wrong with him?" She shrugs?
Y: "He came in normal at first, he smiled and even said hello. Next thing I knew he started screaming all of sudden?" We look at the man as he climbs on top of the counter? "I've never seen anything like this before?"
B: "Calm down Yuri, I'll take care of it...did you call for police and an ambulance? This might be a drug related issue."
Y: "I have Sparrow don't worry. All the doors are locked so it will only be you and him in there. Just try not to make too much of a mess please?"
B: "Got it." I walk into the store slowly as most of the lights are off? I look back at Yuri who only locks the front door behind me and gives me an encouraging smile. I think she's a little scared to be in this type of situation. After all...it is very dark, and I'm not too fond of this situation already. I grab a torch from my pouch and get moving, the store just frozen in silence it seems? Okay, come on Botan. You got this. You've dealt with much worse things than just a potential drugged up man. This should be a piece of cake...hopefully? "Hello??" I call out rather nervously, but the silence I get in return just makes my spine shudder. "I'm here to help, please make yourself known!"
…
?: "YAH!!" A sudden scream comes from my left as I see the man on all fours quickly moving about between the stalls?! What the hell has gotten into him?! I look around before getting the good idea of zipping myself up to the roof to get a birds eye view of the whole store. I do just that and shine my torch downwards, quickly spotting the man huddled over some flowers as he eats them?? Jeez, this man's not right at all! He looks at me with a crazed look before slowly turning. "Ah! baga to yos!" He stares at me as he talks gibberish. "Joka in plot bin!" I just feel sorry as he stares at me, he needs serious help. "Ah! Yoga bob!" He picks up a candle and throws it at me! I'm able to get out the way but it lands me back onto the store floor and out of sight of the man. I can hear him moving about as I try to keep quiet, I need to get the jump on him. I don't want to hurt him of course, this could be some sort of episode he's suffering from? I spawn in some sleeping gas as I look around for him, just going to put to him to sleep so that I can start to look him over. This must be some- "Yawh!" The man jumps on my back as I stagger for a second! He hits me or rather slaps me in the head a few times before I grab his arm and throw him off of me! I'm not too hard as I only pull him off and get in front of me as he tries to scramble to his feet, but sadly for him I'm too quick as I hook his head and apply the gas to his mouth and nose. The man struggles at first but starts to slow down as he eyes close and then he's out. I set him down into the recovery position as I look at him. Poor guy, what was the cause of this? I look at his face as...hold on? I know this guy? That's....Nick! The guy who I saved on my first night here! What's he doing back here?! Nick looks a little worse for ware, his beard is a lot longer as is his hair. He looks like a wild man if anything. His clothes are rather nice though? I get a closer look at him as he breaths gently. I told him not to come back! Or...did he choose to come back? Maybe he was found by some of the big mans' guys? I look at Nick for any sign of some drug use, he couldn't have a mental condition like that? Soon I find two needle marks in both his neck and right arm? Two marks? Hmm, why did he get injected twice? What is this stuff? I take a capsule and a blood sample for later. Sayori and Yuri can take a look at that. If the drug runs in the blood then that will be where our answers lie. The room then gets lit up in blues and reds as the police arrive first! I pick up Nick and carry him to the door as Yuri sees me coming. She unlocks the door as she looks at me.
Y: "Thank you Sparrow! What was wrong with him?"
B: "Drug." I say to her and she subtly nods. The police come over and start talking to Yuri as the ambulance arrives shortly after. I give them the run down of Nicks' actions as well as another sample of blood for them to test, the authorities could do with a heads up about what this drug actually is. Nick gets carted away as things get rapped up rather quickly as the ambulance goes off to take Nick to hospital and the police leave after they take our statements and have a general look around. Soon it's only me and Yuri again, she looks at me.
Y: "Thank you again with your help Botan, I just didn't really know what to do...that was so sudden."
B: "Don't mention it...here..." I hand her the sample as she looks at it.
Y: "Is that from the man?" She asks wearing a serious expression.
B: "Yeah, you and Sayori can look it over. You two are the brains after all..."
Y: "Very well then..." She pockets it as she looks at me again. "What's wrong? You look...rather sombre?"
B: "I knew that guy...Nick."
Y: "Were you friends or...?"
B: "Well, do you remember my first night in town?" Yuri thinks before she puts the pieces together.
Y: "Was that the man you helped?"
B: "It was. I told him to leave Yuri, and never come back. But..."
Y: "Did you think he was brought back here against his will?"
B: "He had two clear injection marks Yuri, one on his arm and another on his neck."
Y: "Hmmm...maybe he was jumped with that drug and let loose....like a guinea pig?"
B: "Maybe...or perhaps this was a message?"
Y: "What do you mean?"
B: "...the big man knows a lot Yuri, a whole lot more than we think he does." Yuri swallows as I sigh. "I need to get going, I have somewhere to be."
Y: "Oh okay, have a nice night! Thank you again!"
B: "Of course, see you later!" I swing away back home as I'm left feeling rather down. Poor Nick, I didn't wish to see him again but...to see him reduced to that? Is just sad... I arrive back home as I quickly head into the kitchen. I hope the food wasn't burnt! I check the food and see that it's...okay? It's fine I guess? I pull it out and look at it... you know what? I think that-
Knock! Knock!
There's two quick knocks at the door and then shortly a giggle?
M: "Guess who's back~" ….oh fuck! I throw the food into the bin quickly and spawn in some replacement food as Monika comes into the kitchen! "Hey honey, why are you in gear?"
B: "Oh? I was just helping Yuri is all!" She nods as she looks at the food.
M: "Awww, you really made some dinner for us~?" I just nod as I take off my mask.
B: "I guess..." Monika smiles as she sniffs the air?
M: "hmm? Funny?" She then checks the bin... "....ohoho! Did it not go right the first time?"
B: "Uhhhh...no comment?"
M: "ehehe! It's fine Botan! Don't worry about it!" She sits down as she rubs her head. "aww, what a day. What did Yuri want with you?" Monika looks a little....jealous? Is it? I can't really tell. "I'm not jealous Botan." ...oh...
B: "Sorry! I just...it's been a pretty rough night." I sit beside her as she rubs my back.
M: "How'd you mean? You look pretty upset?"
B: "I just...I went to the shop because a man was...well for a lack for a better word, crazy." Monika nods for me to continue. "Yuri didn't want to run off to get changed so she called upon me."
M: "Why you?" Monika asks rather sternly?
B: "I don't know? Maybe she thought I was best suited to deal with this? I went in there and well..."
M: "Well?"
B: "It's...it was the guy who I helped on my first night. He was drugged Monika. Probably dragged back here in this mess, taken away from the chance I gave him! I just...don't think that's fair at all..." Monika nods slowly.
M: "Well...was he okay or...?"
B: "He was crazy. Acting like a wild man. A primate. He was eating flowers Monika!" Monika sighs.
M: "Poor guy...what was his name?"
B: "Nick."
M: "Sigh...well? Did you get a sample of his blood or something else?"
B: "I did, it's just...I thought I really helped him Monika. I thought I gave him a way out but...it wasn't enough..." Monika rests her head against my shoulder.
M: "You tried Botan. You tried, and that's good enough for me."
B: "It's not good enough for me though. Nick deserved a life! He didn't deserve that! To be someone's guinea pig!"
M: "Just relax darling...just...it's okay..." I sigh as Monika smiles sadly. "Hey? How about we go lie down and eat this food okay? Let's just snuggle together while eating pizza huh?" She smiles as I nod.
B: "Okay..."
M: "Good boy..." She helps me up and takes the pizza as we go through to the other room to rest.
- Yuri's perspective -
Look at this mess! Was it too much for me to ask Botan to at least help me tidy this up? Sigh...I'm going to be here forever! As I'm sweeping the floor the lights suddenly come back on?
Y: "Huh?" I look at the lights as someone enters the store? "Hello?" …
A: "Boo!" I jump as I see Alex behind me?!
Y: "What?!"
S: "ehehe!" I see Sayori also come skipping in as I relax.
Y: "oh, guys don't do that!"
A: "Sorry Yuri! It was too good to let this pass! What's going on by the way? Why was the place dark, and why is it a mess?"
S: "Are you okay Yuri?"
Y: "I'm fine, it's just...well a man came in with some sort of drug in him." I show Sayori the sample Botan gave me.
S: "Huh? Is this his blood?"
Y: "Yes." Sayori takes it and has a look.
S: "hmmm, if it's a drug I'll find out what drug it is!"
Y: "Thank you."
A: "Did you hurt yourself at all?"
Y: "No I'm fine! I just got Botan to help me is all!"
A: "...I see?"
Y: "I didn't want to disturb your night out guys, after all...I know you two really want to build bridges again after that whole duplicate incident."
S: "Yeah, we're getting better. Slowly but getting there!"
A: "Yeah! Just a few more nights out and we're golden!"
Y: "Just don't try anything together..."
S: "ohoho! I wouldn't worry about it Yuri! I'm not about to steal your man away from you~"
Y: "What?! No! We're just friends!"
A: "Sayori, really??"
S: "Man you two are just hopeless...ah well! You want our help Yuri?"
A: "Yeah! We can help tidy up!"
Y: "That would be grand, thank you!" Alex heads off as does Sayori as I continue sweeping. The three of us focus on cleaning up for awhile as the shop looks a little better! A few minutes have passed and we've managed to pick up most of the destroyed products as well as mop up the floor. Sayori is busy re-arranging the flower display as I finish up collecting the rest of the ruined flowers. I smile as I dump the rest of them into the bin and turn around to see Alex moving a few boxes. I glance over to Sayori, she seems to have this faraway look in her eye? She seems sad? uuu, I want to say something to her but I don't want to say the wrong thing! I walk up to Alex as he looks at me.
A: "Hey Yuri, what's up?"
Y: "Um, it might be just me but.... have you noticed Sayori has been quiet for the past ten minutes or so?" We glance at her as she's smiling while looking at a few flowers.
A: "Well... yeah. I didn't want to say this in front of her but, tonight was one of her quiet nights." I look at him as Alex looks generally worried. "She was... you know?" I nod.
Y: "I see... her rainclouds must of came in again..."
A: "Yeah... I didn't want to provoke her in some way so I just let her be."
Y: "That's probably the right move, she might just be having one of her down days..." We look on in silence as Sayori suddenly turns around and smiles at us.
S: "Okay! I'm done here, what about you guys? Is there anything else to do??"
A: "Uh...Yuri?" I look around... everything seems to be in order? If not, I'll just sort it out for tomorrow.
Y: "It's fine! I think we've done everything we could! Thank you for your help guys~"
A: "Of course!"
S: "You're welcome!" Sayori smiles as she skips to the front door. "I'm going to go ahead a little early if that's okay, I'm rather tired..."
A: "Are you sure? We should go together, that way Coomer can't pick you off Sayori."
S: "It's okay! I'll get the bus! Thanks for your concern~"
A: "...right."
Y: "Well if you're sure, then goodnight Sayori~"
S: "Goodnight guys!" Sayori leaves and skips down the street.
A: "Well... we should think about leaving too."
Y: "Yeah... let me get my bag."
A: "Sure!" I head into the office to grab my things, only to notice the face in the corner of my eye! I turn to see nothing...uh? I could've sworn there was a face peaking into the shop? It might just be me, I've been very paranoid lately... Well, I'm sure it was nothing to worry about...
S: "sigh... so they both noticed me... I'm so fucking worthless..."

It’s becoming increasingly popular with people working for Uber Eats to pickup multiple amounts of drops offs before delivering the food. Only for the food to come cold.
Also not to mention, the company’s we order from make little effort to add the extras we pay for because they know there’s no come backs from the Uber eats service.
Multiple times we have ordered pizzas with extra toppings and they come with a sprinkle of what you would get if you was to go in store for it. Then the Uber rider turns up with a cold pizza, which as been either dropped or stored incorrectly causing the toppings and cheese to slide to one side and we have to basically eat a soggy piece of shit.
Surely there should be more quality control of the service being provided because as at the moment it’s pretty fucking shit. Especially here in Australia.
Back home I would be more inclined to tip Uber eats drivers but I literally have no guilt when I don’t anymore, because it’s always a disappointment when opening the bag.
I think the only thing they get right is McDonald’s when you order a big meal because you know what you’re gonna get, and it never changes, and it’s probably too big for the Uber eats workers to pickup another order at the same time.
I dunno man, I Might have to go back to the old method and phone up and collect, save the fees for a piss poor performance.

so yaebin did an ig live where she shared a lot of fun facts and stories about matthew and their family, so i've decided to compile them all. i got all of this from twitter user nyangmatchu and the twitter thread that she made so shoutouts to her

they have a sibling tattoo, matthew's is on his left shoulder, hers is behind her right elbow. it wasn't planned but it was when they weren't living together and they wanted sth that represented their bg, it's some old korean artwork pieces. matthew's sibling tattoo is around the size the palm of his hand, and it's cool because if they link arms you can see both their tattoos from the back. his HMC tattoo is in honour their mum, because it's their mum's favourite movie
yaebin said matthew and her are complete opposites, they grew up so different, and their mum really enjoyed raising them, yaebin said matthew is the sun and she is the moon, they both shine bright and positive light but in very different ways. when asked if they share anything in common, yaebin revealed that they're very different, e.g. food matthew doesn't like she likes (e.g. cheese), matthew loves mushrooms, but yaebin doesnt. matthew's favourite food is chicken, fried chicken. it used to be steak but after he came to korea, chicken is all he wants to eat
matthew and her use mainly english with each other, use korean with parents, and use konglish at family gatherings
say my name is yaebin's favourite matthew performance on boys planet, she feels like it really embodied his personality
yaebin said matthew's a gamer so he was in the baesment a lot playing his games, he does love anime too, he love one piece (bingewatched & had a collection of figurines stuff), naruto, and he was quite sporty, he also skateboarded, he was very typical canadian boy in her opinion
on the question of 'do you guys fight?' yaebin said we are still humans, still siblings, we don't always get along but there's a lot of love behind it still, and we usually end things with a good hug and say sorry
when yaebin told matthew happy 21st birthday!!! matthew was like 'im turning 22!!!' he was very adamant that he was 22 (korean age)
yaebin does want to get more sibling tattoos with matthew but she doesn't think he's allowed anymore? now
question about hows it liking having an idol bro? she said she still sees him as her little brother, it's still kind of weird for her, she doesn't know how we picture him but she sees him as her baby bro still to this day, nothing really changed about the way they text
their mum likes matthew's style more than yaebin's but their mum and him have similar style, yaebin said. and she doesn't know why he likes camo print so much either
quality time together for them is that they'll go into their own rooms, do their own thing, then come out and go for a walk, have dinner and chat - just like any siblings really
matthew he started dancing when he was 8 or 10? he wasnt into it as she was (their mum put them both into classes), yaebin did a lot of comps and shows, while he just did rec hiphop until he was 15 or 16 bc thats when yaebin got into a dance team and he joined bc she encouraged him to and matthew got into dance more bc of it
"how was it visiting matt bday cafes?" she said it was seeing a lot of his face, they grew up in canada so they don't have this culture of renting cafes for idols, "i thought i was entering a matthew universe!" it was cool and she liked it, best experience was seeing his face everywhere and everything around her
"how did it feel when you found out he would be on boys planet?" yaebin said she didn't know what it was really so she felt netural, and because matthew doesn't know many people in korea, she was thinking of how she can support him which is how the tiktok videos came to be
question: have you seen matthew since the finale? yaebin said yes but only once, it's so sad bc she extended her trip initially to see him more but after the finale, the boys went straight to work and getting ready for the debut launch. matthew's been so busy, it's even hard to stay in contact though phone, like they'd contact at midnight for a bit and he'd say that he'd just got home ;; she said they do have plans to meet so she can drop off fan letters and stuff from his birthday and he can drop off gifts for his family (but he's gonna need to ask his manager), but yaebin said she's happy he's busy doing what he wants
matthew used to call yaebin 'noona' when they were younger bc their dad said it was respectful but he just calls her yaebin now and she's ok with it
"how did you feel when matthew was p03" - first thing she did was cry, bc all the stuff that was happening before the last ep, she already was giving up after p04 was announced and was thinking about how to comfort him already, but then he was p03!! the three of them (matthew, yaebin and their mum) made eye contact and the three of us were like oh my god! yaebin said 3rd seemed a bit far fetched at the time with everything that was happening but she's proud of this guy, killed it, seokryudans made this happen
yaebin said she did meet hanbin after the finale, and he said matthew told me you were really good at dancing and she's like the one who's good at dancing is you sir! yaebin said hanbin was really nice, and yaebin saw hanbin's sister too but it was really busy but they do follow each other on instagram so she does chat with her here and there
fav memory of yaebin and matthew growing up, they used to live in this gated town house area where there's a huge hill, matthew decided to bike down this hill and he smashed into someone else's garage door and got his entire face scraped (lip & nose), bike ended up in a bush
he doesn't swear as much as yaebin, "he doesn't swear that often... he doesn't swear"
matthew doesn't drive but yaebin does
yaebin: can matthew twerk? yes matthew can twerk, but don't tell him i told you!!
yaebin said "matthew was more americanised so for me it's also kind of weird seeing the cute version of him, bc i swear he was not this cute growing up with me"
what does yaebin think of the oppa agenda matthew is pushing? "it's so weird for me bc i dont see him as an oppa bc im the noona, it's defiitely interesting, an interesting perspective bc i think it represents another side of him"
matthew was very good at school, "definitely better than me" yaebin said
dream trip with your brother? "probably japan! we'd be living our childhood dream then" she mentioned that he was quite sad bc they couldn't even explore japan when they went recently since they just went for a day to perform kcon
is matthew scary at home? "matthew's too nice, he's the least scariest thing ever"
what yaebin likes most about matthew is his personality definitely
matthew does like studio ghibli
yaebin said her korean is better than matthew's bc his agency was very shocked at how fluent she was when she visited
[matthew texted her during the live LOL] after yaebin called him out for accusing her of not remembering his age when "he just forgot that he's also canadian" he didn't even say you're right, he just said sth like "this is what you're leaving a 1 minute voice note for?" [here's the full video i highly recommend watching it it's so funny skjdlfs]
q. is matthew into photography? yaebin: idk? i think so? i think he is
yaebin: "i feel like the idol life is very suitable for matthew because… growing up he’s always been really good at being told what to do? that sounds so bad, i’m not saying he doesn’t have freedom, he definitely has freedom within this work that he does but at the same time i feel like it’s very planned out? like his life is very like you have to live it this way, you can’t do this or you can’t do that, there’s a lot of restrictions within his life.” but yaebin doesn’t like ppl telling her how to live her life, she grew up very stubborn. yaebin said "i feel like matthew is great at it (being an idol) and likes it and loves it."
yaebin doesn't usually send matthew memes bc he's too busy to check anyways
how matthew got into kpop and being an idol according to yaebin: "So I don't know if I fully had influence on him wanting to become a kpop dancer or for him to be famous but I actually didn't know much about it until after he was telling people about it and I was actually talking to a lot of Matthew's friends and people that knew him and knew me and they were telling me what he's been saying about me, so he essentially was saying that- I didn't realise how much of an impact my life had on him originally. For me, like I said I've always been kind of a rebel child because I've always been very into just me doing what I wanted to do with my life, I was very adamant about me living my life the way i want to live it and be happy with my choices so I did grow up fighting a lot with my parents, with my dad mainly, obviously I still love my dad but we definitely had a bit of a rough relationship when I was growing up because I was so stubborn and also because my dad was so stubborn, and I get my stubbornness from HIM but he was very stubborn in me living my life the way he wanted me to live it and Iwas very stubborn in me wanting to live my life the way I wanted to live it so that's why I didn't go to school (university), I decided to just go into dancing and pursue dance instead and that's why I love to teach […] I am very happy with what I'm doing right now [...] But I guess that had a big influence on my brother in a way where he realised that he didn't want to go to school either, and he wanted to do something that he loved and we did have a discussion before he decided to do this, before he decided to audition and become an idol. So there was one day he came back from school and I told him like 'hey are you feeling? how do you feel about school? and he said that he kind of felt like 'mhm' about school, he's never the type to ever shut down and idea or like 'i hate something', he cares about every single person around him so he's very careful with the things that he say and expressing himself because he hates hurting other people's feelings and that's why he's such a little cutie! but he was kind of like 'school's ok but I don't love it.' so I was like 'ok so what do you want to do?' because I feel like school isn't the right answer for you if you don't love what you're doing because I told him you're just going to be stuck in school, wasting money, creating school debt, and doing something you don't even love doing, so what's the point? and at the time, it was after we were dancing together and ANYWAYS I essentially said, with the whole auditioning too, I think he had an easier time with my parents letting him go to the audition and letting him go to Korea to pursue this because of how much leniency my dad had gained from me. Because I fought him so much for my life and l'm glad I did because I feel like it made it so much easier for Matthew, and I'm glad that it was easier for Matthew. And I'm glad that I was the punching bag because I always grew up being very protective of Matthew too so I'm glad that I was the one who had to go through all the tough poopy part of life and Matthew can kind of have an easier way of getting there. So, I guess that's kind of in a way how I inspired him because he watched me do what I wanted to do..."

(i meant to post this like two days ago but *in gyuvin's voice* sorry i forgot)

First Previous Next ​ ​

In a bustling mining town:

Jax had been enjoying himself. The war stories and barely believable tales of antics of the Humans he'd served with he told in the coffee parlors were popular among the intoxicated of both sexes, though the admiration and further libations from the men were far less captivating than the rapt attention a very pretty woman with a lithe figure and strong tail gave him. Comely indeed, and she would come to listen to him. Though it seemed to onlookers that he had captivated her, it was her dark pools of eyes that he had dove into, and found them deep and inescapable. She kept those eyes trained on him so long as he spoke, and so he spoke, seeing in those depths possibilities.
Indeed, Jax had begun to expect that if he were to ask Rae to accompany him to the upcoming autumn festival, she might not reject the notion. Even with troubling rumors about somebody attacking a neighboring nation, and the sudden vanishing of the Star Sailors from Star Council space were far from his mind, and the minds of the other coffee parlor patrons. It was in this ease and comfort that he and many other Numiindan residents found their lives shattered by horror.
It began with the burning streaks of the wrecked Space Defense Force, more law enforcement than military, fell from the sky. He was just in the middle of a story about the time his buddy Erin had gotten stuck in his own armor when he stopped and said, "Does anybody else smell smoke?"
There was a general testing of the air by the group of variably intoxicated patrons, followed by a fruitless checking of datapads for the news. "Network's down," somebody in the small crowd said.
"Well, we'll just go outside and take a look," Jax said, and Rae subtly clasped his hand. Outside, the pair squeezed each other's hands so hard they hurt. The sky was streaked with gashes of billowing black smoke of destroyed ships and fighters, and what destroyed them was descending while raining hot plasma down on anything that looked vaguely like it might be fortified.
"The Ancestors preserve us," Rae whispered.
"I'm not going to wait on them," Jax said, "we need to get under cover now, and not just the lounge!"
Someone in the crowd said, "The mines! There are some pretty big chambers down there, and it's like, miles of rock to burn through."
"Good plan," Vex said, "If they're doing areal lances like that they don't care about collateral damage, everyone, split up in groups of three or four, and get as many people as you can to get to the mines."
"What if they follow us down?" Rae asked.
"We'll flood the mines. Hopefully they can't swim."
An hour later, a press of over a hundred panicked elderly and children were running along behind Jax. The majority of the parents and other adults had elected to buy time. Jax had to focus on his mission, save the civvies, get them under cover, to keep from bolting off to join them. "As long as the pups are alive," he muttered.
The sounds of shouting and plasma lance discharges spurred him and Rae on, and though he was obliged to lead the way, she insisted on bringing up the rear. She insisted that none of the injured were left behind. Then, they saw it, salvation. The gates to the mines, and behind them, the shaft plunging down beneath the rock. There were miners with plasma cutters and force axes at the gates, and Jax knew better than to relax. Even as the miners swung the gates open and escorted their panicked charges to the shaft elevator.
"We're getting ready to flood the main shaft, and everything but the vents to the largest chamber," one of the miners said, "get everyone up against the back wall, and pray the Ancestors remember us."
Jax just nodded and gripped his crowbar as he scanned the road they had run down saying, "I'm going to need fighters. We have to hold out until the Republic gets here."
"The Republic? You think they'll come?"
"Of course," Jax said with steel in his voice, "of course."
The next day, Jax held a meeting with the others he was thinking of as the leaders, or maybe other fighters, to tell them what he thought and hear what they thought in return. They had swam to an air pocket in one of the flooded tunnels and held their conversation in the dim light of a portable glow lantern to keep the civvies from panicking at what might be said. There Jax and Rae floated with Kai, a miner and the one who had suggested sheltering in the tunnels, Mei, an engineer in from the big city to help design an upgraded refining facility, and Ash, a man reluctant to divulge his past.
"So, we have about eight hundred civvies, none of whom are in fighting shape, no weapons, no food, and a highly defensible position," Jax opened, "I believe our first priority should be arming ourselves so we can raid the surface for food."
"The first aid kits are barely adequate. They're made to deal with maybe a localized plasma burn from a cutter malfunction, or to put temporary splints on a broken limb. Not lance wounds and to stabilize breaks for healing," Rae murmured softly.
"I did a little scouting," Kai said, "Just popping up in the vent covers, they didn't see me. I saw my house. What's left of it. Anyway, I know how to get to where there are some weapons we could get if we're quick. If we're quiet."
"The flooding did significant damage to the mines," Mei muttered. "I haven't seen any signs that it's getting worse, but the quakes will probably keep on. We will have to reassure the civilians. If they bombard the town from orbit though…"
"There's not much we can do about that," Jax said firmly, "so let's focus on what we can manage. Weapons, food, medicine."
"Blankets," Ash said, "The people are cold, scared. Blankets will help with morale. Survivors. There might be survivors."
"Weapons, food, weapons, blankets, and survivors. Okay, that's a start. Who wants to tell them?"
"Will the Republic really come?" Ash asked.
"They will come," Rex said firmly.
"I can tell them," Rae said as she reached out to clasp hands with Rex. He let her squeeze his hand once, and they dove down into the water to swim back to the main chamber.
The people were understandably stressed at the news that their only protectors would soon leave them alone, but they were reassured when Rae explained that they planned on raiding the surface for supplies and planned to be gone for a few hours at most.
Later, Ash was skulking around a police station, or at least the charred remnants of one, while Jax tried to see him doing so from inside the vent cover. He had been a little aprehensive of the man's claims that he could scout the building unnoticed, but the proof of the meat was inside the shell, so he took a chance. It paid off.
"All clear," Ash whispered from outside Jax's field of view.
"You made your point," Jax said, "good work."
"It's… it's not good in there."
Jax opened up the vent cover, and dropped to all fours to creep his way to the shattered building, and his companions did so behind him.
They squeezed through a gap in the rubble and slowly shifted the rubble until they had tunneled their way to the basement stairs, which they descended immediately. They tried to ignore the singed and shattered corpses of the police officers as they crawled past or over them. They failed at this. They had marginally more success in ignoring Rae's vomit at the grizzly task.
In the basement they found chemprop weapons, magacs, plasma casters, and long distance tasers in rifle and pistol configurations, as well as some light flak armor and personal shields. "Don't bother with the casters or tasers," Jax ordered as he wrapped his hands around the familiar shape of a rifle stock, "Terrans use these for a reason." The others deferrred to his experience, and Rae went to check the other basement rooms for medical supplies.
When she cried out, Rex and the others rushed into the adjoining room, but found no danger there. Only the chief of police, a magac pistol lay at his feet, and the wall to his left was painted in a sanguine splatter. "Nim," she almost moaned in grief.
"You knew him?" Ash asked.
"My uncle."
The others murmured their apologies, none of them strangers to such loss in the past day, and Ash pulled a discarded coat over the man taken by despair. "We have to make sure the people don't decide that this is a good idea," he softly murmured.
"Okay, see what else we can find for supplies here. Kai, can we get to a clinic from the tunnels?"
"Three of them."
"We'll hit the nearest one first, then we swim out to the bay and see if we can get anything from the fishery."
Then, they once again committed to the grizzly task of crawling through the rubble.
The clinic was miraculously intact, only a little exterior fire damage from the fighting, but it was also guarded. The invaders hadn't expected anyone to actually attack with weapons, as thus far most resistance had been fierce but only armed with improvised weapons. The two guards were relieved of their duties by magnetically accelerated iron chunks that left golf ball sized exit wounds in their backs before they even knew they were under attack. Inside, there was not only a treasure trove of medical supplies, which Rae directed them to take only the most versatile or in most dire need, but there were also prisoners in one of the exam rooms. They had injuries that indicated that they were painful but not lethal. Jax was furious.
The fishery offered enough food for the next few days, and their triumphant return kindled hope in the sheltering civilians that they might just hold out.

In low orbit over Numinda:

Acolyte-Lord Gukea-Sarvon surveyed his glorious conquest. Glad he was to have received orders to seek out resource rich planets, for instead of wasting his talents spilling unworthy blood to sate the thirst of Axzuur, he had instead found a race worthy of toiling for his glory. They could never be true warriors, Five days, and he had obtained control over the system and planet. Truly, the pathetic resisance offered by their so-called fleet had dismayed him, but the reports of the ferocity with which the males and some of the females on the orb below fight against his warriors armed only with what is to hand, and sometimes merely tooth and claw, excited him greatly.
It would be pleasing to elevate the lion's share of Axxaakk serfs to more worthy work, to more… worthy services. This new acquisition would even free up many serfs to become warriors, even, which would mean more sacrifices to Axzuur, which would mean greater favor. Although, there were still pockets of resistance across the planet. Even though his forces controlled the communication infrastructure for the planetary and superluminal networks, these pockets seemed to somehow act in concert to keep vital positions outside the Axxaakk's rightful reach.
It would seem that a mere scout group was insufficient, so he was being reinforced by, Acolyte-Lord Narrex-Quinn, who had been reassigned to a subjugation group including a battleship, three frigates, and their escorts. This should provide sufficient warriors and equipment to properly subjigate the planet, freeing Acolyte-Lord Gukea-Sarvon up for the much more pleasant task of crushing the next planet's defenses. Just two days of further drudgery until Acolyte-Lord Narrex-Quinn arrived to take on the unenviable task of crushing the indipendent spirits of the new serfs. At least he had a few specimens for his own research in the best methods to do so to occupy his time.
Two days later, Acolyte-Lord Narrex-Quinn had sent his counterpart sprawling off of his own dais with a metalic backhand slap, "WHY ARE YOUR ESCORTS NOT INTERDICTING HYPERSPACE EXITS AROUND THIS POSITION?"
Acolyte-Lord Gukea-Sarvon staggered to his feet in a fury, "BECAUSE MY SCOUT FLOTILLA WIPED AWAY ALL RESISTANCE IN LESS THAN A DAY!"
"Observe," Acolyte-Lord Narrex-Quinn said coldly as he slammed a data crystal into an input, and the display screen lit up with the scene of a Terran fleet engaging an extraction fleet, and far from being swept away, they were fighting the extraction fleet to a slow defeat.
"Is that a stone temple?" Acolyte-Lord Gukea-Sarvon blurted out.
"It is."
"Why?"
"To show they can," Acolyte-Lord Narrex-Quinn said with disgust.
Acolyte-Lord Gukea-Sarvon's eyes went wide as he asked, "How did that curiser take hits from behind."
"The Terrans apparently use kinetic weaponry, they fired the munitions in a slingshot trajectory while another ship forced it to maneuver into the line of travel."
"The calculations involved…"
"It is my belief that this is not even the main fighting force of the Terran military, for observe further," Acolyte-Lord Narrex-Quinn twisted the crystal to display a split video of several systems on the screen. "These look like merchant vessels with guns strapped to them, and Priest-Lord Tiglach-Pilexer agrees that is likely the case. These fleets are likely auxiliaries sent out to probe our strength while the Terrans gather their true forces."
"Thank you for relaying this, I shall indeed run hyperspace interdiction at the next world."
"Your orders have changed. We are to extract what we can, and carry it off to the Dominion. The expeditionary fleet is insufficient."
Acolyte-Lord Gukea-Sarvon resisted the urge to spit upon the floor. "I too have information. These… these mammal-worms are worthy of at the very least toiling underneath the Axxaakk. Though their forces are defeated, the people fight on, just as the serfs did before they were broken and rebuilt to Axzuur's glory, may the stars tremble at his step."
"They are mammals, hold hostage their young, as we do for an unruly serf."
"This is a good plan, brother."
"We must not allow the Terrans to surprise us as they did Acolyte-Lord Xamxi-Avav."
First Previous Next ​ ​

Before anyone comes at me, let me explain. I am a male, I was born a male; always have been, always will be. The thing is, I’ve spent my entire life comparing myself to the men closest to me in my life, meaning my family and my closest friends. Let’s start with my family. The men in my family are your stereotypical “stupid husband in movies”, all they care about is food and sports, video games and women. That’s it. If you ask them if they’re stressing and worrying, they say no. If they’re going somewhere, they’ll go with 2 shirts and 2 underwear’s max, if they’re going out to eat, they’ll be fine with whatever. They’ll be outside and go workout and come back sweaty and take a 5 minute shower and toss all their clothes together in the machine. They go months without changing their bedsheets or washing their blankets or cleaning their cars or cell phones or anything. They stuff their faces with cookies for breakfast, a hot dog for lunch and a soda or two for dinner. They haven’t been to the doctor in months, maybe once a year, and the dentist maybe once a year too. They’ll take the trash out and come back and continue playing games. Something traumatic will happen and everyone will be worrying and 3 hours later they’ll say “huh, wait what happened, I didn’t hear anything.”they’ll hang out with their friends and come back and forget to even ask their friends where their friend works or how their family is doing. When it’s time to go out, they’ll grab a random shirt to wear, take a quick poop, and ruffle their hair and step outside and leave. They’ll be staring off into the distance, not saying anything and if you ask them what’s wrong they’ll say “just thinking about that basket that was scored last month” No fears, no worries, no insecurities, N O T H I N G. No planning, no preparation, not a thought behind those eyes. No opinions, no gossip, no awareness of the world or anything. Then there’s me. Im the polar opposite. I have many fears and many worries. I suffer from multiple mental health disorders which cause me to worry nonstop. If I’m going somewhere, I HAVE to be prepared. Traveling? I’ll take almost my whole closet. You never know how cold or warm it’ll be. I’ll take Clorox wipes and hand sanitizer and bandaids and chapstick and pain killers and cold and flu medicine too. You never know what happens. If I’m going out to eat, I need to know where we are going NOW, so I can google the menu beforehand and decide on what I want. If I come back sweaty from the gym I need to take a precise shower so I’m very clean and then I do laundry by separating whites and colors. I also wash and change all my bedding and blankets and pillows weekly and so on. Also, I don’t like sports and I eat calculated and work out,making sure to get all my vitamins minerals and nutrients daily. I also get constant checkups and doctodentist visits and so on. I take the trash out and come back and wash my hands well before resuming my video game. I sit and worry about so many things in my life. I get ready so well before going out, making myself extra spotless with ironed clothes and pressed shirts with cologne. My point being, they’re the stereotypical “stupid male” in movies that just sits on the couch and eats chips and beer and watches football. The fact of the matter is, I really wish I was like them. They barely go through emotions, whereas me, I feel everything so deeply. I think, I worry, I overthink, I stay awake at night, i have fears and insecurities and I can’t seem to shake them. Despite me having so much control over my entire life, by meticulously doing things, the more I do, the more I worry. They seem so much more happier and I used to think it was a classic case of “grass is greener on the other side” but as the years have passed , their lives truly are happy. My entire life I’ve tried being as carefree as them but I can’t. They also have flawless social skills and are very likable whereas me with my mental health issues causes me to be awkward and dumb in public settings. Does anyone else feel this way? How are my fellow men so carefree all the time? Why can’t I be like that?

SADDER DAY
Hi there! Hopefully your day/night is going well. I'm not exactly sure where to begin with all of this but here we are. This year has been all over the place and its only May.
How about a little about me? Time to slap a bow on my ass and put a sign on my forehead. I gotta chalk myself up. This always feels like a damn interview.
*What can I say about myself? Blind people say I'm handsome and deaf people love hearing me speak. Where do I see myself in 5 years? I'd say my biggest weakness is paying attention.
Some actual bits about myself: - I'm an illustrator among other things. - My favorite foods are pizza and burritos. - Single as heck. - I'm on the quest for the perfect chocolate chip cookie - Full time student. Ick. - I have a dad on vacation bod. Sure, that's just a fun way to say husky. Not the dog. The chub. Chubsky - I enjoy baking cookies. I've been told I make good peanut butter cookies but hey, I'm up for baking whatever.
I'm tired of wasting my best jokes on myself. I talked to myself the other day and we decided that it was a good idea to try and get back out there. Hopefully find someone I enjoy talking to and seeing where it goes from there.
Oh and if you're just passing by, What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
Have a great day!

SADDER DAY
Hi there! Hopefully your day/night is going well. I'm not exactly sure where to begin with all of this but here we are. This year has been all over the place and its only May.
How about a little about me? Time to slap a bow on my ass and put a sign on my forehead. I gotta chalk myself up. This always feels like a damn interview.
*What can I say about myself? Blind people say I'm handsome and deaf people love hearing me speak. Where do I see myself in 5 years? I'd say my biggest weakness is paying attention.
Some actual bits about myself: - I'm an illustrator among other things. - My favorite foods are pizza and burritos. - Single as heck. - I'm on the quest for the perfect chocolate chip cookie - Full time student. Ick. - I have a dad on vacation bod. Sure, that's just a fun way to say husky. Not the dog. The chub. Chubsky - I enjoy baking cookies. I've been told I make good peanut butter cookies but hey, I'm up for baking whatever.
I'm tired of wasting my best jokes on myself. I talked to myself the other day and we decided that it was a good idea to try and get back out there. Hopefully find someone I enjoy talking to and seeing where it goes from there.
Oh and if you're just passing by, What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
Have a great day!

I gotta ask I think I'm lactose intolerant I don't drink milk but Im more of a cheese/cream kind of guy. I ate some Halloumi a few days ago and felt I was stuck on the toilet all the time watery poops and all. I've noticed that if I consume dairy then I have to write the whole day off. Any advice on this? How long does it usually take to get better? Anything I can do to stop the diarrhea?

Edit: there’s not possible way I can get through all these replies. First and foremost, I understand this is a public forum so I got what I got but I flaired this as a vent for a reason. I was fed up and just needed to air it out because I was tired of talking to my parents about the same old bs and I don’t have any friends right now because I’ve been so depressed and caught up with motherhood. With that being said, I wasn’t seeking advice but thank you for the unsolicited insight anyways, some of it was very helpful.
For those of you in the future who come across this post, things are already improving, I don’t need anyone trying to solve my life problems via Reddit. My husband is currently being mentored by my father to become a Network Engineer and will be testing for certs in the next 6 months. I’ve been living in this very inclement situation for the last 6 months and it’s has been so difficult to say the least. Again, I was just looking to let off so steam after another of my husband ridiculous comments. He apologized later on his own. Within the last 12 hours many things have improved. He also thankfully is interviewing for another position, actually FULL TIME hours, that makes $20-$25/hr so we’d be able to move out sooner than later. I know this isn’t alot long term but it’s a stepping stone. Im working very part time with a modeling agency that I didn’t mention but since I am pregnant I don’t get much work now. And I am doing freelance writing work as well so I’m not just existing even though being a SAHM battling a toxic living situation is a full time job within itself. a lot of you didn’t know the whole story and just jumped to all types of conclusions, whatever, it’s what to be expected honestly.
I’m not leaving my husband because he mildly abuses me. I hate it when it happens but I understand he’s a wounded man who is making poor choices but I know with the proper tools and help, he won’t always be this way. It’s just been a tough season on both of us. Yes, we shouldn’t be living here any longer but it won’t be for much longer thankfully. I’m just taking it day by day. I married my husband knowing he had PTSD but because I got pregnant on our wedding night, alot of things happened quicker than we expected and haven’t adapted as fast as we should, we both admit. I’m sure many can understand that. I love my husband incredibly and he isn’t a terrible guy at all, he struggles with the poor behavior his parents modeled for him and hasn’t learned yet how to be better in some ways, though he’s made some massive improvements. This situation is temporary and I’m treating it as such. Doesn’t mean it’s still hard, gosh. There’s alot more to our story but again this was just meant to be venting post, just take it for that. I’ve applied for WIC but unfortunately missed the phone appt so I have another one set up. I told my husband we’re going to the VA office this Friday to get some info and he said OK. We will reply for SNAP once we move out because we technically do share food and I don’t trust his family to give any statements for our benefits nor do I want them to help us any more. Thanks again to all of you trying to help and provide solidarity.
Original post: I am a SAHM to my 1 year old daughter. My husband makes $18/hr but only brings home $1800-2150/ month. His job unfortunately only schedules him 28-36 hrs/week and he doesn’t think he can handle another job because of how tired he is from the first. I’ve offered for me to get a daycare job , he said no. I’ve tried to get him VA disability, he doesn’t want to try (although he suffers from PTSD; he’s been out for almost 10 years). I tried applying for food stamps and because we live with his parent who make much more, we don’t qualify.
I’m close to losing my mind being in our current situation. We argue so often. Living with his family has been so toxic, we need to get out of ASAP. But because he doesn’t make 3x rent in our state, we can’t afford to leave. A lot of our arguments revolve around this living situation and our finances.
This morning, my husband’s stepdad comes into the kitchen and asked casually if my husband is going to pay him rent or can he not afford it. My husband says “ I’ll see what I can scrape by, definitely going to be short.” Then stepdad nods and walks away. The first 3 months we were able to pay him $1000 even though it left us with very little. But these last few months have been hard and since November we’ve been giving him $600 or $500. My problem is my husband will wait until the 4th or 5th, until his stepdad has to ask for it and he will just say, yeah I’m short and that’s it. He won’t explain, I only make $1800, I don’t work full times hours, he just leaves the guy in the dark. (His stepdad is the sole provider of his household, he used to make around $200k+ year but now I think he makes $175k or more. He supports my husbands mom, his 12 year old daughter and my husbands 27 year old brother who hasn’t worked in 4 years because of a vague kidney issue)
In the past I used to explain things to his family but it’s probably best now if I do not because of how badly things have gotten between me and them. Today I tried telling my husband that he should explain to his stepdad that he doesn’t make enough to pay him the rent he expects and he said he’s not going to do that because his income is not stepdads fault and $1000 is a fair amount. I don’t agree that $1000 is fair but my opinion doesn’t matter, obviously. My husband then went on to say that it’s my fault that we can’t pay him enough because I spend our money frivolously. For one, we have separate accounts, any money I receive my husband has to send it to me and I have to ask for it and tell him what it’s for. He doesn’t seem to understand that we do not make enough money to support a family of 3 ( I am currently pregnant as well). he is looking for a higher paying job but he consistently blames our tight finances on my habits as opposed to the blaring issue that we need more money to support ourselves.
He expects us to live off of $120 of groceries every 3-4 weeks. Meanwhile his family will eat some of our food and it ends up being gone within 5 days. I do the best I can as a breastfeeding, pregnant mother. I admit I get a $5 burger once a week and split it with my daughter because we out and about and I want to “treat myself” but that is not what is breaking the bank. My husband spend $15-$25/ week on tobacco vapes but I dare not bring that up. I often feel like the only way to get through to him is if I have a full on mental breakdown and I’m so close.

So I have been feeling really depressed lately, so I decided to go without food and just not eat. I want to eat and all, just nothing really looks appealing enough to eat. My body wants to eat but at the same time it just doesn’t want food. I have gone all day without food, only having a tiny biscuit cookie thingy from an airplane. What should I do and is this a form of sh?

I failed at baking a cake and it was a blast.
The end goal is a three layer, chocolate cake with cream cheese frosting, all from scratch. But for today I just wanted to see if I could bake three chocolate cake layers and have edible chocolate.
I learned a ton. Had some fails and some spills. Had to put the batter back in the bowl after I had filled two cake pans because I forgot to grease the cake pans...
There was a time when things weren't going well and I could see my wife stepping back. I checked the tone of my voice and took a quick trip to the can to realign my emotions with my goal.
I won that fight today and as a result, she had a good time with me.
The cakes baked up well but when I opened the oven door, all three fell (collapsed in the center) probably due to altitude (about 7,000 ft here). That made them super challenging to get out of the pans and the cakes are now basically brownie bits...
Not even gonna make frosting. But it just doesn't really matter.
Because today, I ruined three cakes, and had a fine afternoon with my wife doing so. The cakes are in bits but they taste great and I have ideas on how to make adjustments for next time.
And there will be a next time.
And a next, as many as it takes until I can display a scratch made, three layer, chocolate cake with butter, cream cheese frosting.
Because it's not really about the cake.

Hi everyone,
Our RSVPs are in and I have sent the count to my caterer, along with dietary restrictions and allergies.
Out of 57 total, I have one vegan and one vegetarian. My caterer responded that they cannot alter the menu to accommodate specific personal choices. Something I should have inquired about before, I guess. She feels like there is enough food, but I did want to get opinions from folks who are vegan or vegetarian.
I will just list everything we are providing. We will have cocktail hour with hors d’œuvres: BBQ reindeer sausage, spinach dip with crostini, fresh tomato basil bruschetta, Swedish style meatballs, fruit tray, and a meat and cheese platter.
Our dinner is buffet style and we have: prime rib, salmon, garlic mashed potatoes, wild rice pilaf, zesty cucumber salad, and cesar salad.
My feeling is that this isn’t really enough for the the two people - there are several options but there’s no protein, for example. So I’m wondering if I should prepare a vegan entree separately for them (we are hosting the wedding at a lodge and it has a nice kitchen where we could do that) and if anyone has ideas on what type of entree would be good?