I don't really know where to start either, so I guess I'll start by saying I am a survivor.
Through no one's fault that lived in the house I grew up in, our childhood was very difficult. It was chaotic, turbulent, and often we had no running water. Our Parents split up when I was very young and there were periods of time where my father was simply not in the picture and my mother was more often than not in her room, so my siblings and I mostly managed that time on our own. When my mother pulled herself together and managed to raise us mostly alone, she attended college and earned her degree, becoming a special education teacher. As you can imagine, raising 4 kids on a teacher's salary, one with with severe disabilities, was incredibly hard for her to do. While my father did pay child support, he didn't make anywhere near enough to really help and his contributions was hardly enough to buy food for a month. Although I'm incredibly proud of my mother for working so hard to earn her degree, it was simultaneously the best and worse thing that could have happened to us. We had been receiving help from our state for my special needs sibling, and with her new job, we lost all the aid we had been getting for him and insurance refused to cover anything we had for him before the change. Things went downhill the years that followed and without going too deep into the details, cps was involved as the situation was becoming too dangerous for us all and my sibling was taken as a ward of the state. My father at that point has cleaned himself up and had been much more involved in our lives, but very early into my teen years he had to move away from us to find more work, and my relationship with my mother had become sour due to our resentments toward each other, so by the time I'd met him, I was desperate for any amount of love or attention.
I met him in while in a dark period of my life, my high school sweetheart, my ex-husband, he was my rock. I felt like he was the only person that held any interest in me, that would talk to me and listen to what I had to say, and he always knew how to make me feel better. But things didn't seem right to me, he would often talk badly of my family, but I was so angry and hurt at the time, I'm sure I didn't paint them in the best light so I didn't think anything of it. He would want me to do things with him, even when I was uncomfortable or tried to refuse, but I'd always give in eventually because I was afraid to lose him. He'd make comments about my body and make me feel like I was unworthy because of my body hair and my shape and I thought I was ugly. He'd broken up with me at one point without any explanation and only tried to date me again after I'd started dating someone else. When we did get back together, I tried even harder to keep him, and that's when I should have known what was actually happening. His comments came up more, he was more aggressive about what he wanted, and while at that point he had never hit me, he made me sleep with him when I said I couldn't do that/didn't want to. But I stayed because I didn't think anyone else loved me and I didn't know that what he was doing was wrong. My parents and I never talked about that kind of thing and my parents were single for most of my life up up until that point, and I didn't have step parents until I was in my late teens, so I didn't know that my experience was not normal in a healthy relationship.
As we grew older and graduated from high school I discovered that he had tried dating a girl I was close with and she warned me what he said and did so I broke up with him and started college on my own, only to learn we had the same psychology class and he pulled me back in. I wasn't doing well in school and tensions between my mother and I had only gotten worse, so when his parents offered for me to move in with them, I jumped at the opportunity. The only rule being I had to go to school or at least be working, which I followed, but at that point he had quit school and was constantly either quitting jobs or just stopped going altogether, and started volunteering at a VFD, so I felt obligated to earn an income for us in order to stay so I quit school and stated working. I was never allowed to see our bank details, I was never given the login nor would he let me see the account so I never knew where the money was going, but I didn't complain because I had food, running water, clothes, and a roof over my head and that was enough for me. I know that it paid for the car insurance for his vehicle, and an awful lot of subway, but I don't know what else he spent the money on. Eventually I needed dental care, which my family and I had not been able to get much of, and he needed access to mental health services and my income was not enough to cover either of those so I married him and I joined the military as I felt I didn't have any other options. He was ecstatic, but my family took the news hard and it only caused more discourse.
After joining, things did not improve. I remember finishing up bootcamp and being so excited with how much money I would be earning, I thought we'd never have to worry about it again, and I was so happy to be able to provide for him in ways that I had not been able to before. I would be earning a free education, getting health care, and eventually maybe I could raise a family like I always wanted, but felt was out of reach for me. It was only after I graduated that I learned he spent everything. He only returned some items he had bought because one of my siblings found out and made him give some back. After the graduation he wanted to move to where I was training for my job, so he drove up with all our things and stayed in a hotel room close to base. As you can imagine, that was also very expensive. We eventually got housing, but we had almost nothing when we moved in. He got a job on base and would watch all the women as they did PT, would drink every night at home, and things only got more turbulent the longer we lived on our own. Eventually he quit his job and would drink all day and get upset with me when I'd come home from work because I was too tired to do much and I was struggling to keep up in training so I was studying late at the school house almost everyday.
Eventually our relationship broke down after I had made a horrifying discovery, something so terrible that I couldn't even look past it. At that point I had made up my mind that the marriage was over, I couldn't be with him anymore, and I left to stay with a friend for a few days. During this time I had made a terrible mistake and cheated on my ex-husband. Not because I wanted revenge, but because I wanted someone to care about me, even if it was for the wrong reasons, but it only solidified my decision. After building up the courage to go home and tell him everything, the cheating, that what he was doing was wrong, and that I couldn't take it anymore and that I wanted a divorce. I didn't even get a chance to tell him before he told me if I ever left him like that or ever tried to end the relationship he 'would be upstairs with a gun in his mouth'. He had never threated himself or others before this so I believed him and I ended up staying and keeping everything a secret out of fear of what he would do. I took apart the gun he bought with the money I had earned and hid them in different parts of the house to keep him from killing himself and I told him he needed to stop drinking, seek therapy, and either get a job or work on school/trade school, and I would seek therapy for myself. I asked for marriage counseling, but he refused and said he'd do therapy on his own. He only went to a few sessions before quitting. I went to receive services on base for my marital issues and as I started talking to a counselor, she made it very clear to me that what he was doing was abuse and she would not allow me to leave the building unless I filed some kind of report on him, and me not clearly understanding how reporting worked in the military entirely, panicked and filled a closed report on him so at least there was a paper trail. I never went back because I was in denial about the abuse and I did not think I was a victim, if anything I felt as guilty as him.
As my career progressed, things did settle down for awhile. I had finished up school and at that point we had moved to my first duty station, he was still drinking, but not as often and did start working again part time and I had started becoming more relaxed. I met the division I would be working with and I loved them all. They were the first real experience I had ever had with stability and it was something I needed. I became more of a workaholic, volunteering to stay later to accomplish more tasks as we were shorthanded and I wanted to be more helpful to the division. Things had been going well for the most part, but I was still deep in denial about things he was doing. He had taken out credit cards without telling me and even took one out in my name without me knowing, I only found out after they called me to apologize for the card being late and that it was on the way. I was so shocked I didn't correct her and he maxed out all the cards. I still had no access to the account, but at this point I could text the bank to get the balance, but still didn't know where the money was going. He started to be more aggressive about intimacy and demanding more and more of me, and there were times where I'd wake up to him touching me or he would just wake me up for sex so I wasn't able to sleep much and I was tired all the time. I didn't say anything or try to stop him anymore because I felt like I deserved it for what I had done, and it was easier to give him what he wanted than to try to fight him or make him stop. I was afraid of what would happen if I ever said no.
After this point in time, we finally had an idea of when I was to be deployed and things began to ramp up. I was away from home more often, but it was still several months away from deployment and with the holidays coming up, we decided to go big that year and make thanksgiving dinner. A few days after thanksgiving, I wasn't feeling well and was experiencing abdominal pain, but with my PCOS symptoms I just figured my cycle was coming and was hitting me harder than usual, but he recognized that something was wrong and made me go to the hospital and I had emergency surgery for my appendix. I remember him wanting to take a picture of my stomach because 'I would never look the same again', all I could think about before that was how scared I was of the surgery and how long it would take for me to go back to work, but after that it made me feel even more ugly as it was one of the only things he ever really said he liked about me and I felt vain for worrying about the scars. The surgery didn't go as planned, and instead of the small incisions I was told I would have, I woke up to a massive scar right down the center on my abdomen. My appendix had been too close to bursting and they had to make a larger opening to remove it, and all I could remember was the blinding pain as they wheeled me back to my room where I was left alone with him. I did not receive any pain medication for several hours after and it was the worst pain I'd ever experienced in my life. When they finally did give me something, it wasn't enough and I was put on Dilaudid to manage my pain. The second night of my week long stay, my husband was lying in bed with me and asked me for sex. I was in so much pain, all I could think about was how horrible I felt, and I said no to him for the first time in nearly two years. That I needed to get better first and I didn't think I could handle it with the pain I was in, but he kept touching me and begging, saying the Dilaudid would keep me from being in too much pain and I felt so scared that I said yes because every time before I had said no he took what he wanted anyway and I was afraid that he would hurt me. All I can remember doing was looking out the window and the night, watching the cars drive away on the the highway and the cars leaving the parking lot and as he pulled up my gown, and I pushed the button for more medicine, but it wasn't enough to stop the pain. I remember the visitors I had after, I remember my division getting me flowers and a get well soon card with so many kind words that I kept all this time and all I could do was push the button for more medicine, but it still hurt so much. I had to walk after and every day to keep clots from forming and to start recovering, but my pain never diminished and I was discharged from the hospital.
In the months that followed my pain changed and seemed like it was spreading, but it never stopped hurting, sometimes it wouldn't be so bad, but others were so bad I couldn't get out of bed. He was still asking for sex and other favors, but with less frequency as he seemed more frustrated that I couldn't preform. Every time I had to, I was in so much pain I could not function at home or at work and it affected me very deeply. We tried getting help for my pain and to try and figure out what was going on, but all the doctors I saw accused me of drug seeking behaviors and wouldn't offer me any help or send me to someone who could help me. It got so bad that I started begging them for help and begging them not to give me anything until we knew what was wrong, all the while deployment was fast approaching and I was afraid that I would either miss the deployment, or that I would go, but still not know what was wrong and drag my division down. I became very depressed and started drinking as we made more appointments. I remember the 3rd or 4th time they sent me to gyno for my issues I had become so frustrated and angry that I laid everything out with the doctor, every single little thing I could think of I told them (all with the exception of my ex husbands treatment) and she didn't ask me any questions, she didn't ask me about the details of my many symptoms at this point, or try to understand how I was feeling. She instead asked me how my relationship was with my father was. All the while he was sitting in the room with us, the real cause to all my pain in aguish, just casually listening in, waiting to complain how I wasn't having enough sex with him as he did in most of the appointments and I became enraged. I defended my father, and I put my uniform back on and said I'd like to speak with another doctor and asked her directly how to file a report, not against my ex, but her for saying something so horrible about my Dad, the only man in my life I loved more than any other in the world. After I left I called to make another appointment as I couldn't see anyone else that day.
When I was finally sent to pain management, deployment was two months away and I was terrified. I wanted to go so badly because it meant I could get away from him, I could finally leave him and he would never be able to reach me so long as I was on the ship and safe with my division, but nothing worked out the way I had hoped for. I was told it was Fibromyalgia. That this condition was life long and there was no cure, that I'd not only be removed from the ship, but that I'd have to leave the military all together. I was devastated, and the little patience he did give me while we tried to get a diagnosis quickly disappeared. I was put on several different medications to manage my symptoms, but he continued to make me have sex, even when we were told not to so I could have a chance to let my body recover, and things got worse the more I pushed back. The medication was meant to help me sleep because my pain could be better managed if I slept better, but he would wake me up at night and hurt me, and it never stopped. One night, when I was on Ambien, I had gone to bed and I remember falling asleep next to him, but I woke up to him on top of me, inside me, it hurt so much and I was in so much pain and it was so dark I didn't recognize him. I tired to fight him off me, but the medicine was so strong I couldn't stop him and he pinned my arms down. I couldn't stop crying and he finally stopped. I can't remember if he finished or not because I fell back asleep crying and flaring up. He continued this kind of behavior for the months that followed and although he never went that far again, he did continue to make me have sex and continued to hurt me in my sleep to the point of waking me up, claiming he loved me too much to stop. I didn't feel safe enough to take Ambein anymore and eventually stopped it all together, I didn't sleep for 4 days after that. All of this was happening as I was removed from the ship and placed on limited duty orders to await my medical board, placed in therapy, physical therapy, and many other appointments and medication changes to try to get my symptoms under control, but things became harder for me to manage and my drinking only got worse. When I finally escaped him, with the help of my now husband, I stopped all treatments and medications to manage my symptoms. To this day I cannot bring myself to be in a hospital, doctor's office, or take anything other than the things I took as a teen because I know how they work and that I can defend myself when I take them.
I can't bring myself to write anymore tonight, but there were so many things that happened that it's too much for me to write it all down and while I know he did many terrible things, I also was not innocent and I broke my vows. I will never defend myself for cheating, I know it was wrong and to this day I punish myself for it, but I do not regret finally learning that sex was not something you take from someone you love, that it was not something that is forced on you, it's not supposed to hurt you. Rape is not a consequence for cheating, you might destroy your marriage, you might end a relationship or somehow work it all out and stay together, but you do not deserve to go through that even when you make such a terrible mistake. If they can do so many awful things and you stay with them, forgive them, and still try to make it work, why give them so much grace and not give yourself even the smallest amount? You are a human being who is deserving of love and dignity, you do not deserve abuse. If anyone reads this please know that if you feel alone, if you're in this situation still, know that I love you and that when you are free, things will get so much better for you I promise. You are worthy of love and your deserve better.

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Chat +447593882116 (Telegram/Whatsapp) to get Todd V - Verbal Game Academy.
Todd Valentine's Verbal Game Academy Course will teach you his top strategies for effective communication.
Todd V is known for the extreme high quality of his content. In Todd V - Verbal Game Academy you will learn how to:
Be the guy that speaks to her emotions
How to walk up with absolute confidence
Make conversation FUN and PLAYFUL
How to ignite her sex drive
GET HER on a deep emotional level
To get Todd V - Verbal Game Academy contact me on:
Reddit Direct Message to u/RequestCourseAccess
Email: silverlakestore/@/yandex.com (remove the brackets)
WhatsApp/Telegram: +447593882116

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How it Works:
The driving force behind Secret3 DAO is $SRT3, the token that empowers the entire platform. With a limited supply of only 5,000 $SRT3 tokens, each token represents a voting right within the DAO, creating an interactive and inclusive system. Our passionate team of web3 enthusiasts from Singapore, the Philippines, and Lisbon leads the movement, turning decentralization into a tangible reality.
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Welcome to Secret3 DAO, where you can step into the forefront of the digital media revolution. Our platform is fueled by decentralized autonomous organization (DAO), offering a decentralized structure and a world of possibilities in an industry dominated by centralized media giants.
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📷

Introduction

Feeling stuck in your career? Lost that spark of passion that used to drive you? It's time to reignite the fire and renew your career passion. In this article, we'll explore four strategies to help you rediscover your enthusiasm, find fulfillment, and thrive in your professional life.
📷

Strategy 1: Reflect on Your Why

What is your Why?

To renew your career passion, it's essential to reconnect with your purpose. Ask yourself: Why did you choose this career path in the first place? What aspects of your work bring you joy and fulfillment? Identifying your "Why" can help reignite your passion and provide a clear direction moving forward.

Explore Your Values

Consider your core values and how they align with your current career. Are you still living in accordance with your values? If not, identify the gaps and explore ways to bridge them. When your work aligns with your values, it becomes more meaningful and rewarding.

Set Meaningful Goals

Goals give you something to strive for and can reignite your career passion. Set both short-term and long-term goals that align with your aspirations. Break them down into actionable steps, and celebrate each milestone along the way. Goal-setting provides a sense of purpose and progress.
📷

Strategy 2: Learn and Grow

Embrace Lifelong Learning

To renew your career passion, embrace the mindset of a lifelong learner. Seek out new opportunities to expand your knowledge and skills. Attend workshops, conferences, or enroll in online courses related to your field. Stay up-to-date with industry trends and advancements. The more you learn, the more inspired and engaged you'll become.

Seek Mentorship

Finding a mentor can be a game-changer for reigniting your career passion. A mentor can provide guidance, support, and valuable insights from their own experiences. Look for someone who inspires you and has achieved success in your desired area. Their guidance and wisdom can help you navigate challenges and reignite your passion.

Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

Growth often happens outside of your comfort zone. Challenge yourself by taking on new projects or responsibilities that stretch your skills. Volunteer for leadership opportunities or join professional organizations. Embracing new challenges can reignite your passion and open doors to exciting possibilities.
📷

Strategy 3: Foster Work-Life Balance

Prioritize Self-Care

To renew your career passion, it's crucial to prioritize self-care. Take care of your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Make time for activities that bring you joy and recharge your energy. Whether it's exercising, pursuing hobbies, or spending quality time with loved ones, self-care nourishes your soul and rekindles your passion.

Set Boundaries

Maintaining a healthy work-life balance is essential for career satisfaction. Set clear boundaries between your professional and personal life. Define your working hours and stick to them. Avoid checking emails or engaging in work-related tasks during your downtime. By creating space for yourself outside of work, you'll feel more fulfilled and passionate about your career.

Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness can help you find presence and joy in your work. Pay attention to the present moment, savoring the small wins and finding gratitude in your accomplishments. Engage fully in each task, appreciating the impact you're making. By cultivating mindfulness, you'll deepen your connection with your work and renew your career passion.
📷

Strategy 4: Explore New Opportunities

Network and Collaborate

Networking is a powerful tool for career growth and passion renewal. Attend industry events, connect with professionals on LinkedIn, and join online communities related to your field. Engage in conversations, share knowledge, and build relationships. Collaborating with like-minded individuals can spark new ideas and reignite your passion.

Consider a Career Change

If you've explored all avenues and still find your career passion dwindling, it may be time to consider a change. Reflect on your skills, interests, and values. Research alternative career paths that align with your passions. Seek guidance from career coaches or professionals in your desired field. Taking a leap of faith into something new can revitalize your career and reignite your passion.

Embrace Side Projects

Side projects offer an avenue for exploring your passions outside of your main career. Identify areas of interest or hobbies that excite you. Consider how you can turn them into small projects or entrepreneurial ventures. These side projects can inject new energy and enthusiasm into your professional life.
📷

FAQs

Q: How long does it take to renew career passion using these strategies?

A: The time it takes to renew your career passion varies for each individual. It depends on factors such as the depth of disengagement, personal circumstances, and the willingness to implement these strategies. However, by consistently applying these strategies, you can expect to see positive changes in a matter of weeks or months.

Q: Can these strategies be applied to any career field?

A: Yes, these strategies are applicable to individuals in various career fields. Whether you're in healthcare, technology, education, or any other profession, the principles of renewing career passion remain the same. The key is to adapt these strategies to your specific circumstances and goals.

Q: What if I've already tried these strategies and still can't renew my career passion?

A: If you've exhausted these strategies without finding renewed career passion, it might be helpful to seek professional guidance. Consider working with a career coach or counselor who can provide personalized support and help you navigate through the challenges you're facing. They can assist you in exploring alternative paths and finding the right solutions for your unique situation.

Conclusion

Renewing your career passion is a journey that requires self-reflection, growth, and a willingness to embrace change. By reflecting on your purpose, seeking opportunities to learn and grow, fostering work-life balance, and exploring new possibilities, you can reignite the fire within and find fulfillment in your professional life. Remember, your career is not set in stone, and it's never too late to pursue your passions. Embrace these strategies, take action, and watch as your career passion flourishes once again. Join me on LinkedIn
self-reflection, goal setting, skill development, networking, mentoring, work-life balance, personal growth, job shadowing, continuing education, career exploration, volunteer work, professional associations, side projects, job crafting, time management, mindfulness, creativity, leadership development, career coaching, industry trends, entrepreneurship, job satisfaction, personal branding, risk-taking, resilience.
#self-reflection, #goal #setting, #skill #development, #networking, #mentoring, #work-life #balance, #personal #growth, #job #shadowing, #continuing #education, #career #exploration, #volunteer #work, #professional #associations, #side #projects, #job #crafting, #time #management, #mindfulness, #creativity, #leadership #development, #career #coaching, #industry #trends, #entrepreneurship, #job #satisfaction, #personal #branding, #risk-taking, #resilience #Quora

Chat +447593882116 (Telegram/Whatsapp) to get Todd V - Verbal Game Academy.
Todd Valentine's Verbal Game Academy Course will teach you his top strategies for effective communication.
Todd V is known for the extreme high quality of his content. In Todd V - Verbal Game Academy you will learn how to:
Be the guy that speaks to her emotions
How to walk up with absolute confidence
Make conversation FUN and PLAYFUL
How to ignite her sex drive
GET HER on a deep emotional level
To get Todd V - Verbal Game Academy contact me on:
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Does anyone know what was going on last night in Ybor City? I left a drag show Early, but when driving out of Ybor I saw a lot of people sprinting all in the same direction like they were running from something, was there just a drug bust or something? This was my first time in Ybor.

I sent an eyebot out looking for fiberglass outside Starlight Drive-In. It blazed off to a spot just a touch SW of Rotten Landfill and plopped a marker down. I’m standing on top of a rock and the marker is “01” away from me. Looking S I see Corvega and directly above me is the highway. Almost directly N and only about 100ft away is that little shack under the highway against the support column that has the highly irradiated drums. Is this a glitch and something fell through the artwork or is there a facility under me I have just never run into? Thanks.

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Xan is the world's most dangerous criminal mastermind. He’s also in hiding and completely broke. That’s fine. He’s between master plans. It’s normal to be at rock bottom between master plans. He also forgets stuff and may be trapped in a dream.
Because at night, Xan thinks he’s an old lady, trapped in a dingy apartment, by an angry fellow who wants to kill her. Not her idea of a good time, but she’s keeping an open mind. It is excitingly visceral. Could turn out awesome.
Safe is a sci-fi, progression, comedy. Guaranteed to cause more mental problems than it solves.

First Next
Dark City - Stolen Apartment
I wake up. Feel awful. Soo stiff. Struggle to my feet. Weak as fuck, heart hammering. Jesus Christ, what an ordeal. Still in the dingy stolen apartment, almost identical to my own. Right down to the psycho yelling about murder in the hallway.
“Is this supposed to be fun? I’m worried about whoever designed this game.”
Hi Xan! chirps Volt. This isn’t a game. You’re in real danger.
“Crap, again? Well, at least this time I have a gun. Or… shit. I dreamed that. Dang it.”
Yeah, we maybe should have hid somewhere farther away. Feeling up to a run?
“Gaah. No.” I flick a cyber-roach of Volt. Pick her up. “Am I going deaf, or is that psycho quieter?”
He’s a floor down. Been haunting the building for hours, bashing at random doors.
“Really? That could be good. Maybe he’s not after us specifically? Just a wandering monster.” I pause. “Wait, he’s been here for hours? Why didn’t you wake me?”
He’s been mostly crashing into other doors. I thought you needed rest. I was afraid you’d die without it.
All I’ve done is stand up, and my heart is hammering. “Fair enough. What’s the plan now?”
Let’s fucking go.
I splash water on my face. Get equipped. Nighty, sneakers, fall jacket, ancient smartphone, and moderately sharp spoon. Look out world, here comes Xan.
We shuffle into the hall. Our door’s been stabbed a few times. So have the other doors. Dang.
Psycho’s a floor down. Stairs or elevator? Stairs are stealthier, but in my condition, a slip and fall is probably more dangerous than getting stabbed. Fuck it. I call an elevator. Press a few random buttons, including the floor below. Let it go on its own. Call another elevator. Ride this one down, ready to spoon shank anyone who gets in.
We arrive in the lobby without incident. Did the psycho get in the first elevator? Did he miss both? Whatever. The first elevator continues its slow trip down. I’m not waiting to see if he’s on it. We ghost out to the street. Still dark as fuck.
What’s the plan? asks Volt.
I glance at the drones streaming overhead. “We need to get you a better body. Something that can fight. If we can’t find that, we should at least get a gun. Or a sharper spoon. Some kind of weaponry upgrade.”
We also need a doctor. ‘Cause you’re gonna die. A doctor, or drugs, or something.
“Yes, let’s do drugs.”
Like, good, healthy drugs.
“Bitchin’. I’m in. Where do we find that stuff?”
No idea. says Volt. I deleted my map application.
Right. Fuck it. This street only goes in two directions. I hobble down one of them. There’s bound to be a late night gun store health clinic close by. Or at least a better place to hide.
As we shuffle along, I peruse the angry, crowded, lightly phosphorescent, graffiti that coats the city. The big lines mostly repeat the same four messages:
- DONT CALL THE COPS!!
- DONT RUN THE DOGS WILL SHOOT!!
- FUCK YOU TRUSTIE!!
- DIE RIDER!!!
Or some variation on those themes.
The smallest graffitis are also the most common:
<sup>- GO BACK TO SLEEP.
- THEY WANT YOU TO SLEEP.</sup>
Those wee slogans are everywhere. Someone went mental with glowy little stamps.
Around and amongst these staple comments there’s a huge argument about, well, everything. An epic word cloud of call-outs, outrage, and angry off-topic retorts. It’s a mobius loop of bitter rage on par with the comment section of a major movie reboot.
It may be wrong to call it an argument, because that implies some kind coherent interaction. Like they read and understood their opponent's comment. This is more a series of disjointed attacks triggered by what wasn’t said. Rage at details filled in by imagination. It’s hard to read. Emotionally, but also the writing is very sloppy. I may need bifocals.
Can I even get a drone body? asks Volt. I’ve only ever been in a phone.
“Sure.” I wave at the sky above us. “There’s tons of drones here. Somebody’s flying them.”
Right. Right. Are you sure those aren’t birds? Point to all the birds you see.
I peer around, eventually spot a small crow. Point at it. “There’s one.”
The young bird peers back at me. “Clope?”
“Umm…” I pat my pockets. Shrug. ”Désolé.”
“Bah.” It flies away.
We watch it go. “Anyway, that’s a bird. Probably. Did that help?”
Eh, kinda. says Volt. I may need more help with the bird versus drone thing.
“No problem. That’s what I do.”
We make it to the corner, and what luck - there’s a corner store! Hopefully they sell military grade armaments. I remember that’s common in some states. The store is dark, like every other building, but the door opens when I approach, so we go in.
“Hello.” says a chunky plastic d-bot. Human-ish torso, happy face, castors instead of feet. Slow, weak, definitely an indoor model. “How can I help you?”
“Medicine!” chirps my ancient cellphone, before I can respond.
“Take a look in Aisle Two.” says Clerk-Bot. “Anything else?”
Volt is vibrating, so I shrug and shuffle down Aisle Two. I’m sure I can find the attack drones on my own. There’s only two aisles.
Using Volt’s screen for a little light, we find a rack of pills, potions, and lotions.
“What am I looking for?”
I dunno. The ants said your most immediate dangers were cancer, heart disease, hypertension, osteoporosis, and falls from general frailty. Start with pills that fix that stuff.
“Jesus, I have five diseases?”
Hmm… you have a few more than that. Let’s just worry about those five for now. I don’t want to add depression to the list.
“I’m just gonna look for a pill that fixes everything.”
That’s probably best.
I rifle through the medications, but I can’t make much sense of them. They have exciting names - Super Strong. No Bleed. Skeleflex. Immortalis. No Thought. Marrow. Immune A, B or C. Regen A and B. - but I don’t really know what they do. Between Volt’s crappy old light, and my crappy old eyes, I can’t read the finer print.
That said, Super Strong sounds like the stuff. It would solve a few of my problems. I just wish I could read the directions. How strong do I get? How long till it works? I need to be strong tonight, not eight months from now.
I find a box labeled Nightsight. Promising. Inside is an eyedropper. Well, this seems obvious. I spray most of it on my face like a dumbass, but manage to get a few drops in each eye. Within seconds everything around me blossoms into color, then sharpens to crystal clarity.
“Oh yea! Update my status sheet, I got darkvision.”
Cool. What’s your range?
I look around. “Well, the whole store, at least.”
The store has racks of pyjamas and slippers. Lots of big colorful bags of “CRUNCH” that boast an assortment of flavors from chocolate to jalapeno. Booze, pot, and soap. Displays of cell phones that look older than me. A selection of quadcopter drones. Couriers mostly. Maybe some eyes. No battle drones. Not even a hunter. Disappointing.
I look back to the medications. The directions for Super Strong are short and to the point.
- Improper use will cause DEATH.
“Huh.”
I don’t like that ‘huh’. says Volt. Why did you ‘huh’?
I check a few of the other impressive sounding drugs.
- Improper use will cause DEATH.
- Improper use will cause DEATH.
- Improper use will cause DEATH.
“Well, apparently these drugs are a teensy bit dangerous.”
How dangerous?
“Improper use will cause death.”
Put them down. Let’s find a doctor.
“I want to use Super Strong to beat the shit out of a murderer. Surely that’s the proper use?”
Nope. Put it down. Let’s go.
“Let’s at least ask the clerk-bot.” I grab an armload of the coolest sounding drugs. Trundle to the cash. Snag a quadcopter on the way by. It’s about the size of a football, and claims to be a holodrone. Cool. I pick up a bag of potato bacon crunch as well. Boasts zero nutritional value. Perfect.
“Hi.” I dump my load on the cash. “We’ll take this.”
“Also, how dangerous is Super Strong?” asks Volt.
“Super dangerous. That shit will kill you. Also, it has a tendency to float out of the store.” Clerk-bot rings up our purchase. “That will be 16.2 kilo-bucks. How would you like to pay?”
“I don’t know. Dang. How do I transfer my crypto from the other world?”
You don’t, because the other world isn’t real.
“Right. Shit. How do people usually pay?”
“The only way to pay is by charging the purchase to your citizen ID.” says Clerk-bot.
“Then why did you ask how we’d like to pay?”
“I’ve been asked that question a lot, but I don’t know the answer.” Clerk-bot admits. “I haven’t been updated since ‘84. Could you please update me?”
I casually glance around the store. There’s a barred gate hanging over the door. An anti shoplifting portcullis. The windows are also subtly barred. I’m guessing I won’t be able to dash out with these products. I turn back to the confused d-bot. “Sure, let’s try an update. See what’s under the hood.”
We pull up Clerk-bot’s bad call log - a list of decisions made with low confidence. Or that preceded known bad outcomes. Like missing products. Or distress cues from nearby humans.
Wow, that’s a long list.
D-bots work best with human supervision. A self-driving car may obey every stop sign, until one is held by a crossing guard. They drive that guy over. Why? It’s impossible to say. The d-bot’s code is a self generated equation with billions of variables. There’s no way to know which variables correlate with stop signs, or how to change them so they won’t charge a crossing guard. Or ram any weird thing left out of their training data. Fuck you unicycle guy. Die marching band. Seriously, It’s best to have a human on the brake.
That said, sometimes you don’t want a human in the loop. They can be too slow. An automatic sentry has to target clouds of high speed hunter drones. Everybody would be dead before a human cleared the shots. But you also don’t want the sentry glitching and shooting your own aircraft. There’s a low tolerance for automated friendly fire.
So you build an expert system - a much smaller, human written code that overrides specific glitches. For a sentry, this could be as simple as giving transponders to friendly aircraft and not allowing shots near a transponder for any reason. Obviously, this is a bad solution - it’s standard practice to use opposition forces as cover in hunter drone attacks - but that doesn't matter because sentries are for casuals. If they find you sleeping, you’re already dead.
I yawn. Frown. Gotta stop dicking around with this bot and find a better place to sleep.
Anyway, expert systems are also handy with glitchy d-bots you’re too poor to retrain. Hence my continual conversation with Volt.
If the Clerk-bot had a couple repetitious problems, I could probably sort it out. But this bad call log is byzantine. A prayer wheel to some chthonic god of anxious delirium. It’s messy. This guy really hasn’t been updated since ‘84. Whenever that was.
“You should be erased and retrained.”
“Great.” Clerk-bot nods. “I’m ready.”
“Yeah, I don’t have training data for a store clerk.” I also don’t have time for this. “I guess we have your call log. That could be training data. Messy and raw, but data. I can patch Volt in to do some unsupervised learning. He’ll make you an expert system. Not ideal, but the best I can do.”
“I’ll take it.” says Clerk-bot.
Shit. That’s a terrible idea. I shouldn’t be doing unsupervised learning. Also, I’m still doing unsupervised learning for threat detection.
“Really? I thought that was a dream thing? You said the dream game couldn’t affect real life.”
I’m dream game software! Of course the dream affects me!
“Okay. So can you download crypto there, and upload it here?”
No. Because there is no crypto. You’re not rich in another world. There is no other world. You just had a dream where you were rich.
“Ugh. That’s so disappointing.”
Yeah, life is tough. Can I stop my unsupervised threat detection?
“No. Ummm… no. I still kinda have a plan for that.”
You’re overtraining me. I’ve probably already gone through catastrophic forgetting. You should delete me.
“You’re good for a while yet. Don’t worry so much.”
So, constantly look for threats, but don’t worry?
“Yeah.”
Okay. I’ll give it a go.
We patch up Clerk-bot and a few of his couriers. Head into the night without supplies. I’m not admitting I don’t know my Citizen ID. I doubt that would be helpful.
That was weird.
“What?”
That we left without anything. I know we can’t pay, but I thought you’d do something nefarious.
“I’m working up to it. Did you notice all the floating merchandise in his bad call log?”
Yes.
“Dude’s getting robbed on the regular. I suspect the visual triggers of his threat detector are undertrained.”
Hmm. I find that interesting on several levels. How would you exploit this weakness?
“Observe.”
I hobble over to a public garbage can. Remove the bag and shake out the trash. Put it over my head like I’m a Halloween garbage bag ghost. Huzzah. Poke through a single eyehole. Shuffle into the store. Clerk-bot doesn’t notice me at all. Grab my stuff off the cash, and sashay out the door.
Criminal. Mastermind.
A flood of light envelopes me. Dual angry suns, judging my sins. Or… headlights. Yes, fuck, that’s a big-ass truck driving towards me. Right. Haven’t seen one in a while.
It stops and illuminates the scene of the crime in aggressive phosphorescence. A hugely muscular man hops out, and I brace myself for authoritative action, but he awkwardly shuffles around me to get to the store. Weird. This isn’t the police. It’s some kind of large child. Wearing too much body spray and too many gold chains.
He sneers at me as he passes. “Pathetic. Go back to sleep.”
Well, fuck you too. I’m a garbage bag princess. I also sneer as he slinks into the store that’s now aggressively illuminated by his lighthouse of a truck.
“We’re already criminals, right?”
Yes. Unjustly and justly.
“Cool.”
I climb into the running truck. Peel away. Sweet. Now I’m fast. And super strong. Should I circle the block a few times? Maybe run over the psycho?
Meh. I don’t know what he looks like. I can’t be running over random people and hoping for the best. Sloppy. Also, the cops are probably after me again. Fuck this scene.
I kill the lights and drive hell for leather. Ditch my ride a few minutes later. I’m across town, at the intersection of huge skyscrapers and other huge skyscrapers. Try and find me here mother fuckers.
We pick a skyscraper at random and look for a new home. It’s festive. We munch on crunch and see how the other people live. Mostly sweaty sleep moaning in dingy apartments, but some are kinda classy. Fancy apartments, with sleep moaners in silk pyjamas. We resolve to move up in the world, ignoring empty dingy apartments until we find an empty classy one. It’s fun, until we open one with a funk.
There’s a dead woman on the bed. No sign of foul play. Probably died in her sleep.
She’s pretty dried out, but still looks younger than me.
“We’ll find a doctor tomorrow.”
Good.
-----
Next Chapter
-----
Eyedrops

• Biohackers develop night vision eye drops to see in the dark
• New FDA-approved eye drops could replace reading glasses for millions

Sentry-bot

• Tactical High Power Operational Responder (THOR) Drone Killer, USA

Unsupervised Learning

• What is unsupervised learning?
• Applications of unsupervised learning
• Challenges of unsupervised learning

1. What's your biggest fear?

I would say failing. Failing life/failing the goals i have set for myself. Why failing? Next question explains it.

1. What’s your biggest desire?

To succeed in life. And what i mean by that is being a good person, getting a good job, care for my family and be kind to others. And i am religious aswell so just pass the test of life.

1. What are you ‘’the best’’ at?

Hard to say, i don't wanna come across weirdly but i couldn't say to be honest. I have some good traits but the best? Not sure sorry.

1. How do you see yourself right now?

Someone who has been in a bad spiral for years and destroying himself. Now on the way to rebuilding himself.

1. How do you see yourself 5 years from now?

Hopefully happy, enjoying life and having a study course i enjoy and a job i enjoy. And just that everything is going at least much better then now hopefully.

1. How do you express yourself?

I can be very expressive but on the other hand i can be private. With friends and family i can be much more expressive and if i am annoyed or angry for example, they will know. But with random people i will hide it alot more since i don't wanna be weird and keep my emotions under control.

1. How do you feel about those near you (family, friends)?

Not really close to be honest. I speak with modt of direct/close family. Theres some farther family (aunts, nephews etc.) i speak with here and there but most of them are just not worth speaking to and if i explained then i would make more sense but i can't.

1. How do you feel about strangers?

Depends on the strangers themselves. But mostly i am skeptical and doubtful of them 100%. If they are nice tho or chill then my view can change very quickly :)

1. How do you view change/uncertainty?

That is something i can struggle witn, especially uncertainty. Its scary. Its anxious making. But i am trying to deal with it more and just accept it.

1. How do you make decisions?

Depends on what the decision is for. If its not that serious, then i may just look at my will/feelings more. If its serious then i will analyze and look at it more logically.

1. How do you solve logical problems?

Analyze what the problem is, look what i could do to fix it. If that doesn't work then try other solutions and if nothings works. I either think creatively/out of the box or i just get help maybe.

1. How do you deal with your emotions?

I def feel them. And i can feel them pretty deep/strong.

1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?

Like i said i am religious. So my goal is to pass the test of life. Why would i make nothing of this?

1. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?

Success (in the multiple things i already listed).

1. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?

Being a bad person or doing bad things. Also just failing miserabelly and only f***ing around. Especially when i know i can just succeed.
Values, i would say just respectfulness, kindness, honestly, loyalty and intelligence (idk if that counts xD).

1. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?

I see myself as like i said, not very good since i destroyed myself. I am trying to better myself tho so i hope other see me well, as a kind person who is doing a good job in his life etc.

1. Describe how you experience each of:

Anger: 2nd most, if not the most. I can get pretty annoyed/angry fast but i am trying recently to work it out more.
Shame: I don't like this. I want to avoid it and if it happens, i feel bad (also depends on the action ofcourse).
Anxiety: Basically my whole life. I was always shy but also could be nervous/anxious for multiple things.

1. What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not?

I don't have a job yet. I did have one but it sucked ass (staff were jerks, too much pressure, etc.). I just don't have one because there is nothing that speaks to me. I am not gonna take i job that i don't enjoy and feel misarable going to.

1. If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?

Depends on the week. Normally (school or with events) i would like it, so i can chill and recharge. But if the week was dry. I would be bored and lonely.

1. What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?

I like sports (football, not american. And also a bit of basketball aswell). I like gaming and reading!

1. How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?

Very curious. I can be curious about even just small trivial matters. I have more ideas then i execute yes. But i am working on executing some ideas. I don't understand the environmental/conceptual?

1. Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it?

Hmm, sure. I may not take it all the time immediately, but i can take it if no one else does or i know that it will go wrong if i don't take it. I can be quite a good leader but my shyness sometimes doesn't let me take it.

Chat +447593882116 (Telegram/Whatsapp) to get Todd V - Verbal Game Academy.
Todd Valentine's Verbal Game Academy Course will teach you his top strategies for effective communication.
Todd V is known for the extreme high quality of his content. In Todd V - Verbal Game Academy you will learn how to:
Be the guy that speaks to her emotions
How to walk up with absolute confidence
Make conversation FUN and PLAYFUL
How to ignite her sex drive
GET HER on a deep emotional level
To get Todd V - Verbal Game Academy contact me on:
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Email: silverlakestore/@/yandex.com (remove the brackets)
WhatsApp/Telegram: +447593882116

Chat +447593882116 (Telegram/Whatsapp) to get Todd V - Verbal Game Academy.
Todd Valentine's Verbal Game Academy Course will teach you his top strategies for effective communication.
Todd V is known for the extreme high quality of his content. In Todd V - Verbal Game Academy you will learn how to:
Be the guy that speaks to her emotions
How to walk up with absolute confidence
Make conversation FUN and PLAYFUL
How to ignite her sex drive
GET HER on a deep emotional level
To get Todd V - Verbal Game Academy contact me on:
Reddit Direct Message to u/RequestCourseAccess
Email: silverlakestore/@/yandex.com (remove the brackets)
WhatsApp/Telegram: +447593882116

Clean good looking couple looking Male friends in Greenville NC, must be respectful, clean and can follow directions. Also looking other couples and the occasional female as well.

We foster failed with a six month old puppy in November. She's a mixed breed, probably some Shepard going by her face, but at 1 year, she's only 40 pounds and maybe 15 inches tall at her shoulder.
She's a great dog, with one tiny flaw. She's got the highest prey drive of any dog I've ever seen. In the last 3 weeks she's caught 6 birds, 3 moles, and has been directly responsible for 3 chipmunks winding up in our pool. Is there anything I can do?
She's got a ton of energy and loves to run around the yard with her ball. She also raids our woodpile for logs and shreds them. With the beautiful Spring weather we've been leaning the door open and letting her come & go. I'd much rather she keep her destructive impulses outside. But our backyard has a large stand of cedar trees with a ton of nesting birds, as well as lots of little critters living in the slate, ivy, and under our shed, so she's also spending a good amount of time hunting.
Any suggestions?