Chinese reflexology near me
Mneumonese--The Language of Memory, Logic, and Agápe
2015.01.06 00:40 justonium Mneumonese--The Language of Memory, Logic, and Agápe
Mneumonese (etymologically mnemonically derived from "mnemonic", "von Neumann", and "-ese") is an a priori, oligosynthetic, philosophical, logical, psychological, self-referential, recursively defined, programmatic constructed language that is constructed completely out of mnemonics. Mne(u)monese is a philosophical language. Mnemonese is a language spoken by a society on a planet that had its information technology boom in the pre-writing age rather than at the creation of compupers. hyu
2023.05.28 14:45 emmonster [OC] Do as I say, not as I do.
2023.05.28 14:45 Local-Ebb1 How often should I train ?
I am planning to start wrestling in September of this year. I have no martial art experience so this will be my first step in this world. There are not many wrestling gyms near me and the one I am aiming at offers 3 training sessions a week (and also 1 for competition).
The thing is I really want to commit to wrestling if I start so I would like to train as much as possible, do you guys think that 3 trainings a week is enough to make good progress and have a decent level or should I train 4-5 times a week?
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2023.05.28 14:44 fatgirlfantasy ATL Mathematics Recap
-Dylan sounded like Taylor Swift at times -Khalid was incredible and really connected with the audience -Ed was amazing and it was so cool to see him up close with the 360 stage -it was really heartwarming to see him get emotional when everyone knew the words -Ed rapping was a highlight -“Perfect” was perfect - He set a record attendance for Mercedes-Benz stadium. This is saying a lot because Taylor Swift was just there. The 360 stage allowed for more seating and tickets were so affordable. My GA tickets were $15. -I hate how sped up some of the songs were. But no one can sing and play fast like Ed Sheeran. - The girls next to me were great energy for most of the show but talked so loudly whenever Ed was talking about Jamal or playing a song from Subtract. It was so uncomfortable and it made me realize GA requires being a little confrontational to have a good time. -Also: if you’re really tall, don’t barrel through everyone that’s been waiting near the stage to be up front when Ed goes on. To be told by multiple people and ignore it requires an insane level of confidence.
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2023.05.28 14:44 FreshProdiigy Question for my new black Astralorp.
So today I went to a market of a soul purpose to buy a new chicken to be friends with my ISA Brown that I’ve own for about 6 months or so.
Long story short I bought her today and when I took her home she didn’t seem to fit in with Bessy (my ISA), at first Bessy almost seemed like Bertie didn’t exist but then she started to chase her every now and then.
Bertie doesn’t like to come near me, she is probably stressed to the nines from Bessy & being in a new place with people she doesn’t know and was flying onto things seemingly trying to escape (I’ll cut her wing tomorrow)
Just wondering has anyone had any experiences similar with a new chicken and can reassure me that one day things will get a lot better because she’s cute and I want her to feel comfortable as a part of the family.
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2023.05.28 14:42 Worried-Policy-8199 Help Me Choose Next Book!
-So I just finished the nightborn series and need to pick a new book/series from my TBR list to obsess over. Help me choose! The options are:
Priest by Sierra Simone
Hooked by Emily McIntyre
Guild by Raven Kennedy
From blood and ash by Jennifer Armentrout
Broken Bonds by J. Bree
-I wanted to start fourth wing series but it’s on back order on Amazon and sold out in book stores near me 😅
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2023.05.28 14:42 iQueLocoI Nmom is unsympathetic to my struggle to manage my neurological disorder because "I got it from her" and "she manages it better"
((I've been NC with Nmom for coming up on a year. I'm sharing this story because I've really benefited from reading stories I can relate to. I love this community and the support you guys offer each other. I hope I can help validate some of your experiences as well.))
I have narcolepsy. It's rarely found in multiple generations of the same family. I fall asleep in every single class I take and dream so vividly I forget where I am. I went undiagnosed for years, and my falling asleep in class caused nearly every professor I had to resent me. I worked extremely hard outside of the classroom to keep up and managed to be a very good student. I also was TERRIFIED of punishment, so my goody-goody behavior kept me from ever being disciplined for falling asleep in class.
I finally got diagnosed after my junior year of college after a professor decided, at the last minute, to fail me for class participation so I'd have to retake his course. He sarcastically told me to see a doctor, which was actually great advice, and I came back the next year with a prescription, accomodations, and a letter instructing him to change my grade back or be faced with discrimination charges (he was a huge dick about all of it, different story.)
Narcolepsy is a seemingly random condition. There's not a strong case for it being passed down, only in rare cases is it suspected. One of the things known to cause it is infections within the brain. And I had a super crazy intracranial infection when I was a kid. I don't know exactly when my narcoleptic symptoms started, but it would be shocking if it wasn't directly related to this.
Nobody else in my family has every struggled with staying awake in the classroom. BUT, because my mom falls asleep in front of the television late at night after a full day of work and a glass of wine, she decided that she's narcoleptic too. Whatever, I shrug it off. But she starts telling me that the medication I'm taking is a crutch. She sits in on one of my appointments to "help her understand what I'm dealing with" but actually spends it trying to convince the doctor that I got it from her and "my lifestyle" is why I experience daytime symptoms and she doesn't.
She interprets the doctor's refusal to entertain her ignorance as him admitting all of her suggestions are possible. I'm gatekeeping her, but she won't do a sleep study to get diagnosed. I'm exaggerating my condition for sympathy, and she knows this because she has the same condition.
Anyway, has anybody else dealt with this? Disability deniers, condition appropriators, or general gaslighting around health factors?
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2023.05.28 14:42 Creyke Brainstorming a potential story, would be interested in feedback concerning settings/themes
These days I'm generally writing academic papers and I've had a wearisome itch for some creative writing for quite a while. I've always had a soft spot for 40k and I have some ideas that I really want to flesh out, mainly stuff derived from some of the frustrations I've had with the genre, and some of my favourite stuff from 40k stories over the years. I'd be interested in discussing and fleshing out ideas related to setting and themes, as well as gauging the general level of interest in a story like this.
I have this huge problem with the sense of scale (or lack thereof) in 40k. I find much of Abnett's work very compelling as he often explores how "baseline" humanity interacts with the creatures and forces within the 41st millenium. However, I find most 40k fiction totally lacking a sense of vastness and I think this totally undermines an important grim-dark aspect of the setting that 40k is supposed to be famous for. I think there are some really compelling narratives and themes that emerge if the sense of vastness were better explored. Feeling insignificant is a very real, very scary thing and something most of us choose to ignore rather than face squarely. In fact, I would argue that it is actually impossible for us to really comprehend at all, our minds are simply not adequate to deal with the sized of things in the 41st millennium. I find it really interesting to think about how a baseline human would deal with the senseless and totally meaningless scale of a war in 40K, and it lends itself to themes from the existential, to the psychological, to the theological. I have in my mind a few themes I want to explore, and some of the characters and story beats. But I really want to dial in on a setting that makes the characters seem small and fragile, cast into an ancient, colossal and uncaring universe with nothing but their faith and a lasgun.
Here are some themes I am interested in exploring: The Absurd/Existential
I have in my mind that the story will take place on a planet which has been at war for many decades. None of the characters were there to begin with, and none, (except for the youngest member - and even then, not for very long) expect that they'll see the end of it. I think it would be interesting to explore one might confront the pointlessness and triviality of their lives and actions. I think faith is often cited in 40k as the driving force of humanity in the face of it's powerlessness, but I don't think it is actually explored nearly enough... Crisis of Faith
The emperor rotting on the golden throne reminds me of Holbein's Dead Christ, specifically, as it appears in Dostoevsky's The Idiot. In the book Rogozhin confesses to Myshkin that the painting is eroding his faith. In the same way, the emperors putrefying corpse represents the triumph of immutable forces over the original vision of immortality in that his appearance on terra once represented. Ippolit says of the painting, "It is as though this painting were the means by which this idea of a dark, brazen and senseless eternal force, to which everything is subordinate, is expressed."I have in my mind that the characters be expose to this image somehow, quite possibly shown to them as the planet their on becomes tainted by chaos. This will spur a crisis in the characters with many possible areas and arcs to explore.
Here is a blurb or preface I wrote a while ago that has spurred much of my thinking around the ideas, themes, and general vibe of the story. I'm interested to see what people think, whether I am on to something with the very rough ideas and themes I've presented.
There is no room left to manoeuvre.
There is no room for heroics.
No room for grand strategy; for great men; for grand victories and war stories. All that matters is how many bullets and men, ships and tanks, megatons and gigawatts. This is the reality of war in the 41st Millennium. Wars fought by countless legions of accountants. Wars won by the lives of billions.
Supply lines stretched across lightyears. Each tank, each man, each lasgun, every bullet shipped between the vast distances between stars, through the incomprehensible and unpredictable immaterium. Reinforcements take decades to arrive - if they arrive at all - and the outcome of each engagement was predetermined years in advance. Probable victories or defeats decided decades and lightyears ago by cogitators, clerks and servitors carefully weighing the risk and return of each battle using arcane mechanisms lost to the millennia. Civilizations won or lost on the basis of whether losing a world could advantage the enemy more or less than the cost of keeping it. Each victory itself an opaque metric at the bottom of some bureaucrats' balance sheets.
Yet wars are still fought and won by ordinary men and women. Wars that are so vast they are incomprehensible to the human minds that fight them. Where decisive victories tip the scale by imperceptible millionths of a percent. Where losses are so massive they are rendered meaningless by their orders of magnitude. Where trillions of men and women are called to fight by the only thing left in the human mind capable of driving them forward - faith. This was the emperor's greatest work; a vast machine set in perpetual motion among the stars. A colossal engine with so many moving parts, with so many degrees of freedom that there are none left to give.
There is no room left to manoeuvre.
There is no room for heroics.
Because in the 41st millennium, there is only war.
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2023.05.28 14:42 Lucifer_humor Gnats nose brain?
nowadays there are many gnats mosquitoes etc. Sometimes it happens to me that they go near a nostril of the nose. What I'm wondering is, can a midge get to the brain through the nose? this makes me a lot of anxiety. The internet doesn't give very clear answers
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2023.05.28 14:41 Curious-Month7727 22 [M4F] UK - Online, Hoping I Can Find That Special Someone One Day 🙏🏻
Intro and what I'm looking for Idek where to start tbh. I wanna make a post that isn't too boring, long / short, or irritating to read as I have a habit of talking about my emotions + feelings and unnecessary venting about my life in several setences when it comes to this sort of thing, that's mostly what I talked about in my last post... I'm hoping I can get at least someone's attention by writing the right and necessary words on this subreddit... So, where to begin?
I guess I'll start with what I'm looking for in terms of dating. A fresh, warm, healthy and positive long-term relationship is what I've been craving for the last 4¼ years, not as in desperate or obsessed with it, more as in yearning for that right person to come along and bring sunshine to my life for the first time in a very long time. I'm sorry if that sounds a little cheesy but it's true. Someone who'll accept me for who I am and not care about what I have / don't have, someone who'll understand and accept my insecurities and flaws, not to mention me doing the same for her too. I wanna have that happy and bright future with that special someone, similar to all the couples I see on Instagram, laughing, joking, teasing each other, flirting, doing fun activities together both indoors and outdoors, purchasing matching items for them to wear and hold dear, holding hands... the list goes on.
Come and stop by so we can get to know each other first and see what happens if you're fascinated in this post enough, and if you think I'll be that sort of person you want in your life.
Personality (100% the truth) As you might have guessed, I am a hard core introvert. Although I get along well with people irl; I briefly chat to them by saying the usual "hello" or "alright?", I then usually keep to myself from them most times to avoid feeling ignored / unimportant / irrelevant in their eyes. This is because I'm not that great at socialising in public places like the club or in the street, and also due to the fact that I feel extremely shy whilst meeting new people. All I feel, every single day, is irrelevant to everybody I come across on a day to day basis and tbh, I've gotten used to it over the years. However, if others ARE willing to get to know me and want me in their presence, I will perk up and be quite the confident individual once enough time passes :)
Other things you should know about me is that I'm extremely loyal and will never hurt the people I love and hold dear, no matter what. I care too much about the people in my life, including family, and I also will never let them down or disappoint them in any way.
Just a little fun fact about me, my zodiac sign is Cancer ♋️🦀 for those of you who are interested and if that matters to you at all. This is related to what I've just written above in the second paragraph.
[This is me pretty much nearing the end of this seemingly never ending post now]
Now that all the soppy stuff is out of the way, I will now talk about what I like doing on a day to day basis :D:
I'm an indoor type of person. I like: •Watching TV shows like Doctor Who when new episodes come out, The Simpsons and Hollyoaks 5 days a week, and binging on a ton of movies.
•Listening to music pretty much every single day as I'm a huge HUGE fan of it.
•Gaming on PC games such as GTA, Red Dead, and Minecraft.
•I may stay indoors most of the time, but I DO also enjoy doing outdoor activities like spending my days out in places in the UK like Scarborough, Blackpool, Hornsea and Withernsea.
•I'm also interested in Photography, taking stunning photos both indoors and outdoors to store and save for later. Wildlife, sea life and everything else in between is what I'm most interested in :)
•Playing different sports such as Badminton, Bowling, Cricket, Dodgeball, Tennis and Volleyball on the beach are activities I really enjoy doing, but I haven't played them recently thanks to a lack of others playing them with me.
•Gardening and working with plants is something that really fascinates me, planting and watching plants of all shapes and sizes grow is everything I've wanted to do since my late high school days. Also getting a bit of sunshine on my neck in the summer does me some good lol.
•I occasionally like doing artistic activities like card making, paper crafting, drawing and painting, but only on special occasions.
•I also like to read from time to time.
Physical Appearance My appearance is quite normal:
•I'm 5'8 in height
•I've got quite the decent body shape
•I have no tattoos but I'm considering getting a few in the future
•I've got a small amount of facial hair (but I've shaved recently so I'm not quite as hairy on the face as I used to be)
•I've got quite a lot of hair on the top of my head but keep it in control most times with hairspray
•I've got an average to slightly above average face imo (pics can be exchanged if you're interested in knowing what I look like)
•I'm healthy with no health conditions or concerns
•I wear normal clothes such as buttoned t-shirts, hoodies / denim jackets, jeans / tracksuit bottoms, and leather jackets in colder weather.
You I'm not too bothered what kind of women I talk to / get with tbh. Just as long as you:
•Live in the UK, or at least in different countries that are close to the UK like Norway, Ireland, Sweden, Belgium, Denmark, France, or perhaps even The Netherlands, since all have shorter time-zone differences to the ones in the UK, (but you can message me wherever you are on the globe)
•Don't smoke or do drugs
•My age limit is between 18-23, but people that are past that age range can also message me.
•I'm not religious, by any means, but I don't mind dating people who are.
•Come as you are, no sugar coating, be real, be genuine. 🚫No NSFW content please🚫, that's all I ask.
Outro Welp, this is me finally signing off and seeing what happens. If you've read this far, then I appreciate you for taking the time out of your schedule to read my post all the way through :) I hope you have a nice rest of your day 🙏🏻👋🏻 Come say Hi if you're feeling up to it! 🙂
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2023.05.28 14:40 ti-agus-ceic For those of you in the UK, where do you get your fruit and veg? I am TIRED of finding bugs in my food!
In the past few weeks I've found them in my grapes, lettuce, strawberries and mushrooms :( and the lettuce was the pre-washed stuff too. This has all been food from Lidl.
I understand that this is their natural food too, but I'm worried if I keep getting obsessive about my fruit and veg I'll muck up my ortho-recovery. I really don't want that so I think I will just try elsewhere.
For those of you in the UK, where would you recommend buying your fruit and veg? Shops near and local to me are:
- Lidl - amazing selection, but prone to random shortages... and bugs
- Aldi - never tried before, is it much different to Lidl?
- Morrisons - I've not shopped here much, what is the quality like?
- M&S - fruit and veg all look amazing but it's like £4 for 7 strawberries:')
- Farmfoods - never been in one, idek if they have a section for fresh fruit and veg
- Tesco (the smaller kind) - tiny selection, but I haven't heard anything bad
Any and all help is appreciated - thank you kindly!
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2023.05.28 14:40 elisabethx What are the chances of a (world) tour? What do you think?
Seeing all those recent videos of Lana performing made me really really wanna see her too. Do you think she will tour again somewhere in the near future? What are the chances that she eventually will go to European cities like Berlin, Vienna or Paris? I personally think she won’t (☹️)
I really need to know, because I just graduated as the 6th best of my school and my parents decided to give me a graduation gift, which could technically be going to a concert in the cities I named above.
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2023.05.28 14:39 Lucifer_humor Gnats nose brain,Is possibile?
nowadays there are many gnats mosquitoes etc. Sometimes it happens to me that they go near a nostril of the nose. What I'm wondering is, can a midge get to the brain through the nose? this makes me a lot of anxiety. The internet doesn't give very clear answers
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2023.05.28 14:39 resurrective Chapter 17 - The trial of Heart
The black domes, they were pocket dimensions, which were completely detached from the material world. Bound to the stream of souls, flowing inside the ephemeral branches of the world tree, they presented a personal hell for each person cast into them. They are a limbo of regrets, the hell of one’s own making, places where the living meets the dead.
There’s only so many ways to elope them. One must either reconcile with the restless souls, or join them, succumbing to their rage and regret that they carried into their afterlife. After all, to even get there, one must possess unparalleled strength and resilience; and only those who had caused deaths and destruction on their path to greatness can even hope to get to this trial.
Freia, Flare, the First princess of Jioral. For some – a good friend, lover, and companion. For others – a nightmare embodied, a vessel of divine powers, a force to be reckoned with. She had many enemies: princes and princesses felled by her authority, treacherous servants and greedy nobles, the knights, who opposed her corruption, slavers and bandits, destroyed on her quest for redemption and restoration of herself… But there were more. Children she had burned, serving her kingdom, women who perished by the tides she conjured, men that had been torn apart by raging tornados of her making, elderly that were buried under the rubble she created…
And how did she oppose them?
“Flagella terram et vescere inimicis meis, o magnum tempestas ignis!” The sorceress chanted, spinning her staff above her head. Then, right before the raging mob reached her, she hid from them behind a vortex of fire. One move and this wave of heat would incinerate everything and everyone in this accursed realm. But…
“DON’T HIDE FROM US, FLA-A-A-ARE!”
“COME TO US, SISTER!”
“YOU WERE NEVER ONE OF US!”
“GIVE ME BACK MY MOM!””
“THE FALSE PRINCESS!”
“THE DAUGHER OF A WHORE!”
“YOU SHOULD’VE ROT IN THE SLUMS!”
Curses and jealousy, bitterness and hatred. The chorus of tortured souls surrounding the fiery boundary couldn’t be silenced even by the roaring flame. There couldn’t be any redemption.
“I’m sorry for all of you, who unjustly died by my hand!..” And even though there were people deserving their apologies, those who had to perish in favor of Flare’s political ambitions, those she sacrificed to appease her tyrannical father…
“THEN JOIN US, FLARE!”
“PAPA! WHERE ARE YOU?! GIVE HIM BACK!”
“REPENT, BITCH! DISPELL YOUR WITCHCRAFT!!!”
“But I won’t give in to you!” The pink-haired woman exclaimed, absorbing mana into her staff. “Furthermore, there’re those of you I will never regret killing! And there are those, for whom I must live! I MUST GET OUT OF THIS PLACE!!!” Then, she slammed the lower tip of her weapon into the floor made of the absolute darkness. Instead of wailing, being consumed by fear, guilt, self-loathing, and, ultimately, perishing, Freia sundered this entire “world”. One magical strike from her, and cracks of white and gold covered the entire dome. The wall of fire faded, but when the vengeful spirits rushed forward to maul their prey, they crumbled into piles of black salt. “I’m so… so sorry!” The girl lamented, kneeling near the remains of children, whose future she stole. “But I… I must move forward. I must save…”
Sparks and crackling, whistle and dazzling – time and time again the surge of lightning breached through the veil of darkness.
“UO-O-O-O-O-O!!!” A guttural scream filled the oppressive silence under the dome. Eve Reese, so childish and bashful, so eager to prove herself, now wore a stone mask of indifference. “Nira-a-a (no-o-o)!!! Yuarmta (I won’t forgive you)!!!” Cornar yelled, held still by at least seven shadows, he had been tortured, killed, bruised, smitten by the raging element of lightning. No longer did the girl see him as a threat; no longer did she cower at the feet of her former husband. Maybe, Eve was condemned to getting back her memories as a means of punishment, something that would make her sympathize with this petty little tyrant…
“Yuarm yau (I don’t need your forgiveness).” The Me-ua kahul spoke, looking at her crackling right arm, trembling with power and guilt combined. Not for forsaking her would-be-spouse, not for becoming Panakea’s pawn…
These souls, these loyal shadows – turned out, she never called upon them… until the very end. Her subjects, her brethren… Eve feared that if she let them out, they would tear her tyrannical husband into little pieces.
“Haa… Haa…” And now, she had to choose. To turn around and let someone else fix her problem, or… “Haa… HAA!!! HAA!!! HAA!!! SUNI (I’ll kill you)!!!”
A Punch to the maw, to the chest, through the ribs, to the heart! He didn’t die! He couldn’t die here! This scumbag of a man, this monster just wouldn’t go away! No matter how much pain she caused him, no matter how many times she slit his throat, broke through his torso, shocked him with spells, cut him with magical light…
And what of Cornar?
“A-A-A-A-A!!! A-A-AGH!!! HA-HA-HA-A!!! NA SHENBATA, SETOAN (you can’t get rid of me, woman)!!!” The son of Hakuo never relented. He relished in his immortality, laughed through the hellish torments Eve inflicted upon him. The skinned lion spotted a weakness in Eve’s heart, and he pressed at it, as if breaking the girl would get him back to the world of the living…
No, he wanted to take Eve to the world of dead.
“Gha-a-a-a… Agh-h-h…” The queen-to-be grabbed her forehead, her rugged breath not only siphoned all the focus out of her, threatening to cast the girl into a pit of despair, it also deteriorated her control over the mana she wielded. Unlike the city of salt, there was enough ambient magic to harvest here, but doing so would require skills, precision, and, most importantly, personal discipline and control over one’s own mind.
“Praibi, orna Iblis (Drain yourself, my Iblis)!” The prince of Batnara shashu tribe provoked, feeling the grip of the shadows losing its strength. A little more, and he’d be free… A little more…
“Hm…” But Eve wouldn’t relent. She once again covered her arm in a coat of magical lightning. She would never surrender; the queen would never let anyone treat her like a slave ever again. Not after Keyaruga’s perseverance taught her a lesson of resilience. Not after his gentleness, however tainted by his wounds, showed her what true love should look like.
She took a swing, prepared to strike…
“…” But then, two winged shadows stopped her hand. Amda and Sana, they were barely recognizable in their spiritual forms… but Eve would never mistake her parents for anyone else. They couldn’t speak, yet they still communicated with their daughter through other means. Emotions, wishes, urges – they never wished such evil to befall their daughter, but what they hated even more – was to see their child descend into the same pit.
“I… I don’t… have to?..” They asked her to stop, to let them relieve her of that burden. “B-but!.. No! You will die!” The girl snarled, grabbing her parents in a hug. She knew what was to come – her mother, father – they wished to sacrifice themselves to drag Cornar back to the afterlife. But that… wouldn’t that mean she’d lose them all over again? Wouldn’t…
“Yes! You’re dead! So what?! What do I?..” The feeling of pain and powerlessness engulfed the verdant woman. Barely had she found the strength to stand before her fallen tribe, before those who she desired to see the most now left her.
“YOTJAR (finally)!!!” With Eve’s will getting weaker, so did the shadows of her ethereal court. Her tyrannical husband finally broke free, slamming and stomping her shadows, as they fruitlessly tried stopping him. Amda and Sana Reese hugged their child for the last time… and now they stood up to defend their precious daughter. That is… the least they could do.
Freia broke inside another dome. From the outside, they looked like bright constellations of stars, formed on the points of a massive, galactic-scaled pentagram. The personal chamber for each of the contenders. One was broken from the inside, collapsing inwards, into a black hole with an orange halo – this was Freia’s dome. There were four more. Two were dimmed, two still shone brightly. The Hero of Magic travelled through this empty space, lit by numerous distant stars. In her current form, things like speed, form, and time – none of them mattered, aside from her destination. And now, she had to choose one of the two luminous chambers.
What is true power? Does one determine this abstract concept by the weight one can lift with their muscles? Maybe it was the charisma necessary to lead the masses? Enough money to influence others? Authority earned or inherited?
“Well-well-well…” Whatever the answer truly was, Ellen had none of it right now. No strength to fight, no troops to hide behind, and certainly – those who opposed her now had little if any need of whatever amount of gold she now carried.
“MERA RIVARO (my life)!..”
“YAU MA (how dare you)!”
“YOU’LL PAY FOR WHAT YOU’VE DONE, BITCH!!!”
Oh, they came for Norn. There were hundreds, if not thousands of them, some she could recall from her Murian and Teuteccain campaigns – the series of expansions past the great wall; others were the court warlords she and John unseated in her ascension; rebellious villagers too came to exact their revenge on the younger princess, after her demons decimated them; and there were the victims of Buranikka’s carnage. This was the mountain of corpses Norn Clatalissa Jioral used to climb onto the very peak of political power…
“Now then, what do you want from me? An apology? Maybe my penance?” Even now, surrounded by countless dead souls, whose entire being now revolved around their grudge, the girl wouldn’t let herself be crushed by their rage. Not mentally, at least.
“MAN WOR YAKSI (give me your eyes)!”
“SUFFER, YOU MONSTER!”
“I JUST WANTED TO LIVE!!!”
And so, hundreds of voices began howling in unison. So passionate, so eager to share their hardships and aspirations, that Ellen actually started pitying them a little. So many words, so much pain in them.
“Haa… I guess, that something like this was bound to happen someday. Well…” Instead of listening to the rest of the traumatizing nonsense and wailing, the crimson-headed cutie just began… to simply undress. “I don’t have the power to struggle, I can’t break out of here, and all of you came here for me. So go on. Rape me, maul me, kill me, do whatever you want. I’ve already done everything I wanted.” Ellen, now naked and completely defenseless, stretched out on the ethereal black floor, looking into the endless black void above her. The raging souls now came closer and closer, dozens of faces now loomed above her, as their hands reached out to grab the fallen warlady and tear her apart. This… was the end.
Keyaruga, Setsuna, sister… I hope you won’t miss me too much.
And so, she closed her eyes. Time to finally die.
There was no pain, nobody dragged the girl around, not even a single blow fell upon her. Ellen was… safe?
“YOLA-A-A-A-A (it hu-u-u-urts)!!!”
Slice and dicing, the ripping of flesh and clattered bones, “death” of a sort, dealt to the undying, torment for the tormented who themselves wished to inflict suffering upon her – someone kept the restless souls away from the princess. Someone precise, fast, and masterful with his tools of mayhem.
“Haa, is that you, Organ?” Ellen asked sullenly. Denied her excruciating retribution once more, she could only cover her tightly shut eyes with her palms.
“How did you know, Your Highness?” Indeed, it was him. As brutal as he was gallant, the deceased demigod was the only one out of these dead souls, who spoke to her, and not wailed at her like some sort of a beast.
“I know only two men, who’d come for me here, and the other isn’t so discreet, you moron.” The young general replied, opening her eyelids. The first thing she saw was the Champion of Jioral, covered in black blood. His prized amber eyes were no more, only black gaping holes were there instead. “Why’re you here? Do you want a piece of me for yourself?” The girl asked, still unwilling to stand up. Honestly, she felt robbed at this moment. This would be such a fitting end for her, but no! “Don’t tell me you’ve just barged in here to… Pff! PROTECT… me.” The second princess spat these words through her painfully clenched teeth.
“First things first, Lady Norn, I suggest you cover your shame and cease this indecency.” The warrior spoke, piercing and slashing the mob with his sword, impaling them with his hidden blade, tossing them back with his kicks. He was far from his prime form, and so, wounds and sores, cuts and lesions were left on him, as he, alone, overpowered dozens of raging men and women, keeping them away from the girl he swore to protect. Indeed… “Forgive me, princess, but I made a vow to your mother, and death is hardly a valid reason to…”
“YAKS… (giv…) A-A-A-A!!!”
“…to renounce my…”
“DOKI-I-I (step away)!!!”
“…loyalty to her!”
Despite everything, no matter the odds, Hawkeye continued to push back the angry spirits. He couldn’t dodge, as every missed blow could land on the lady, he couldn’t step back, as she needed protection more than any time in her life, and, certainly, sustained by this oppressive dimension, he couldn’t die. He couldn’t kill anyone, as they just rose anew from their own black blood, but the man couldn’t retreat.
“He-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh…” The princess chuckled, curling her torso in order to sit up. It hurt her stomach, but the girl persevered nonetheless. “Why am I always surrounded by stupid stubborn men, who just can’t help but dingle their balls before me? Seriously, a dead man, upholding a promise to a dead woman, how much more ridiculous can this get?” The girl scoffed, pulling back her panties, bra, and whatever she left lying around, back on. After all, why even bother now? “Be honest, idiot! What do you want from me?”
“I came here…”
Slash, backflip, tackle, toss – Organ Trist twirled around his commander, pushing back everyone, who came too close to his prized princess.
“…to ask you, Lady Norn!..”
Shoulder slam, side-kick, a flurry of bloodshed embodied in the son of Artemis!
“…to save my…”
Stabbing enemies with that hidden blade, crushing their skulls with the handle of his blade, ripping their eyes out and tossing them away – however useless this double-sided brutality may seem, Hawkeye had purpose, skill, and, most of all, conviction, that allowed him to push the mob away.
“…daughter! Save Marianna!”
After all, what can be stronger, than a father, eager to protect his dear child?
“And you think keeping me alive will help you with that? You, moron, this bloated pigeon trapped me here! I have only one way out – fucking death!” The second princess, now properly clothed again, yelled however loud she could. Unable to comprehend the reasoning behind this idiocy, the girl just stood there, pulling her crimson hair. “Also, you’re severely mistaken! I’m not Norn! Norn’s dead! My name is…”
“…Elly! Elly-y-y!!!” Barely had the princess opened her mouth; before the dome had been breached from the outside. The Hero of Magic emerged above the ground. She levitated, using magical blue flames; she secured her sister by forming a wall around her, a barricade made from powerful ice spears. The sorceress even went so far as to send one into the undead Champion, it was one he easily avoided, though. “Step away from my sister, Organ!!!” The raging magician demanded, pulling her sibling towards her with a gust of mystical wind.
“Ghh! Oh, hey there, Friea!” The fallen warlady spoke, bracing herself against the dizziness her brief flight had caused. Still, this didn’t look good. The last time those two met, Hawkeye severely injured the pink-haired girl, and she just wouldn’t live through it again, unless two gods appeared to help her. This time, though, it was her turn to be a deity-savior.
“Get away! You’ve bested me once, but this time, I can crash this entire realm down onto your head!” The Hero of Magic promised, putting her staff between her sister and her enemy.
“Aw shit, this just gets better and better…” The little genius lamented, nervously shaking her head. Not only was her glorified suicide rudely interrupted, but now this situation threatened to kill her sister as well. Still…
“Elly, Elly… Ellen? Ellen the Adopted?” Despite Freia’s expectations, Organ Trist was more interested in the new name she called Norn, rather than anything else, really. He already had his fair share of battles, after all. “Ho-ho-o! I guess, in the end, you really did become the better version of yourself! And the ‘brother’ in question – is that sir Keyaru?” The blinded man asked with the same smugness he once boasted with in his grandiose life.
“What’s the point of answering you now? Aren’t we just traitors to you?” The heroine replied with every bit of animosity she had in her. “Hold on, Elly, I’ll get you out of here.” Freia stated, charging her staff with the magic that shaped this entire “world”.
“Heh, aren’t you afraid of what that damn poisoned pigeon might do to you for breaking her rules?” The crimson-haired cutie scoffed, witnessing the entire black dome covering with cracks.
“I don’t care about her rules! All I want is to see you safe!” The sorceress spoke with even more defiance toward Caladrius than Norn ever had in her. If needed, she would challenge this feathered nightmare to a duel, anything, just to save her family.
“I see…” Hawkeye uttered, kneeling before the two girls. All that time, rather than monitoring Freia’s moves, his supernatural senses were aimed outside, to make sure no restless souls cross the fence of magic ice. But now… “I see your eyes, Princess Flare, they’re just like hers. I’m sure; you’ll make Lady Reeharoze proud of you yet.” Now, before he once again departs to the other side, there was one last thing to tell them. First praise, then a claim… “Lady Ellen, I beg of you. The life of Marianna now lies in your hands.” …and finally a plea. With all that said, Organ Trist crumbled, his body turned into black salt. And with it, the entire realm began to collapse in itself…
“Hold tight, Elly…”
And now, there was only one dark dome left. Arguably, the worst of them all, this particular world was to be the prison for Keyaruga… or his cemetery. No doorways to run into, no windows to jump from. He was alone, trapped with hundreds of those who were slain by his hand. Those poor bastards – the restless souls, their minds were so obsessed with hatred, and their grudge – powered by the sheer immortality of their ethereal blackened bodies. This was hell in its purest form. The question is – a hell for who, exactly?
“YE-E-E-E-E-EAH!!! IT’S HEALING TIME!!!” Keyaruga snarled and began splattering blood all over the place. Everyone who was touched by that substance became horribly mutated – their heads bloated, their muscles strained so much, they crushed their very bones! “WHAT’S WRONG?! KILL ME!!! KILL ME NOW!!!” The man demanded, dancing around his would-be tormentors with his blade, blessing his foes with the exquisite gift of perpetual agony! Saber in his right hand, Georgius on his left, one complementing another.
Despite what the lad asked, nobody could bring him down. His immortal flesh defied any blade, his bones healed in an instant, his mad frenzy alleviated any pain.
He thought he could kill his enemies for the second and final time, give them proper death in the most excruciating manner. He was wrong…
“DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! AGAIN! AND AGAIN! AND ALL OVER AGA-A-A-A-AIN!!!” The hero yelled chopping off heads and severing limbs! He killed so many, he couldn’t even count the slayings! He murdered the same people over and over, each time their agony being more exquisite then the last!
Kill a man once, he won’t even notice, his rage will only rise! Kill him thrice – he’d waver! Five – and the seeds of fear are sown. Ten – and he’s broken completely!
Keyaruga just couldn’t help himself, he hated these scum so much, he just couldn’t contain all his passionate hatred. It was so strong, that the feeling of pure, raw, primordial wrath transcended every possible modification he had put into himself.
“A-A-A-A-A!!! UGH-H-H-H-H!!!” A soldier was weeping, hugging his boot. “S-S-S-S-SPA-A-A-ARE ME-E-E!!!”
“YO-O-OU!!! I remember you!” The healer spoke, raising the cretin by his neck. “My first kill! You watched me being raped, drugged… BEATEN!!!” The man yawped, slicing off his upper face with one nimble slice. “AND YOU NEVER!!! EVER!!! EVER FUCKING HELPED ME!!!” The lad, tainted by black and red blood, slammed the sentry into the ‘floor’…
“A-A-A-A-A!!! PLE-E-E-EASE!!!” …and gleefully sliced off his arms, ignited sparked his left armored hand into a gauntlet of blazing heat!..
“GU-GHH-GUU!!! UA-A-A-A-A-A-A!!!” And finally, cauterized the wounds, just so that the retard wouldn’t die too soon.
“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!!!” The crazed avenger yelled, grabbing Leonard, so conveniently nearby, weeping. “YOU SAID, I’VE DONE NOTHING FOR THIS FUCKING KINGDOM?! I’LL SHOW YOU, WHAT I CAN DO NO-O-OW!!!”
And so he did, the madman rested his two fingers on the sadist’s forehead. A second passed, and a purple spark had announced the richest form of suffering.
“Oh… U-u… Uo-o-o-o-o-o… Khh…” Indeed, although it wasn’t as vocal as previous ones, Keyaruga was more than pleased with the result. He knew of a human having specific nerves, specifically for reacting to pain. And he just overloaded them. Toxic spiders, dangerous medusas, venomous snakes and scorpions – all of them could do that with their poisons. Hell, even Keyaruga could brew neurotoxins. But damn, this thing had one ultimate merit compared to all of those – the instant effect, so potent, in fact, that the victim can’t even cry out from the excruciating pain!
“He-e! That’s a neat trick.” The lad mumbled, approaching a maid, lying on the “floor” like an embryo. Flare’s bodyguard shivered and sucked her thumb, completely lost to this twisted world. Just one little touch… “Pam! You’re already dead!” Keyaruga sneered tapping his armored fingers by her temple.
“Uh… Uh… Ugh… W… Wha-?.. A-A-A-A-A-A-AGH-H-H!!!” The woman grabbed her skull, but it was too late. All the blood, bile, and even marrow now came into her brain, bloating it, up until it burst in a fountain of black blood and shining entrails.
“Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!! I FUCKING LOVE IT!!!” The deranged healer laughed so loud, and his presence was so overwhelming now, that nobody even dared to come close to him, let alone attack, unless they wished to become a victim of a new twisted experiment. Oh, their fear, this agonizing panic! They’re giving me a fucking boner! I wanna fuck! I want a woman! Oh, this! This will do nicely!
And so, Keyaruga dropped his saber, unfastened his belt, ripped the dress, slapped that ass which he had found, grabbed it, pushed it in! The woman with a blackened tail was slowly dying of blood loss, but that barely concerned the lad. He grabbed her pelvis and began to move, so fast, so frantic, and so mindless, that no one could see a human in him. No-o, this was a wild beast, slamming his bulging cock into the defenseless female, too tired to react, let alone resist somehow. She wasn’t even tight, just barely warm, but even that was enough. A few minutes of such suffering inflicted on her, and he came, this was a brilliant orgasm, deeply perverted, and twisted to the very core…
Oh, that’s the fucking best! I love it so much!
Keyaruga grabbed her hand, wiped his penis with it, pull back his pants, and…
I don’t remember her. I wonder, who that is.
He pushed the body, rolling it to the back.
“Ha-a-a… Hello again, Kailia…” The mad lad recognized her instantly. An agent, sent to find and assist Eve Reese in her quest, hired by someone named Carol. But that alone wouldn’t be enough to get Keyaruga to brutally rape her. “You’ve killed my Norn, but I spared you. Heh, after Kali left, I tasked you to ward off whoever they sent after my Eve, but… It seems like you’ve failed. Really, really sad.” The healer spoke, resting his left hand on her dying flesh, recovering it in an instant. And just like that… “Oh, fuck!” She nearly stabbed him with a knife. Gods only knew where she got it from… “Sit still.” But then, Keyaruga just pressed his finger on her forehead, and completely shut down her limbs functions. He pitied her… but could do nothing for this miserable leopard woman.
“Haa… Damn, it’s getting boring here.” The hero lamented, picking up his weapon of choice. At this point, he just put it back in its sheath. Only then did he spot a couple of new faces in the crowd of weeping bastards. “You there! You don’t look like you should be here. What’s… wait…”
“STAY AWAY FROM ME, MONSTER!!!” The woman cried, she was weeping into her man’s now tainted shirt.
“Heh! He-heh! No-no-no-o! Oh no-o-o!” Keyaruga frantically shook his head, unable to believe what he just saw. This was the worst. This… “Anna! Kurt! What… What’re you even doing here?! I… I avenged you! You shouldn’t have…” His parents were there, they stood among the thugs, slavers, robbers, bandits, zealots, murderers… But they… they weren’t one of them…
“You killed us, traitor. You raped my wife, after everything she’s done for you. You’re disgusting little shit!” The mighty harvester told him, pointing his war-scythe at the hero. The only thing that held him at bay, though, was his spouse, loudly crying with black tears pouring from her eyes.
“Heh… You… really think I’d…”
“No. But you’ve proven it.” Kurt spoke with the coldest possible rage in his voice. Keyaru’s cruelty couldn’t be doubted, after all. Not after everyone he maimed this day. “I don’t give a fuck, what the hell is wrong with you, but I’ll slice your guilty ass as many times as I need.” The older man spoke, pushing Anna aside. And then, he lunged.
Kurt struck as a true warrior – he was swift, accurate, precise – his war scythe – basically a reforged farming tool, grazed Keyaruga’s torso, cut his leg, he even stabbed his foster son through his chest. But… there was no blood.
“Calm down, you two.” The hero demanded, stoically taking hit after hit, like the heavy glaive-like blade was nothing. While Anna crumbled to her knees, lost in her weeping, Kurt wouldn’t stop attacking. “You can’t kill me, I’m immor-…” Barely did the lad say so; before his foster father grabbed the handle in a wide grip, and just swept his head off with one precise strike.
“NO-O-O-O-O-O-O!!!” Strangely enough, despite all of the delusions his parents had about him, Anna just couldn’t stand seeing her child being killed so brutally. “A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A!!! WHY-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y?!!!” As Keyaru’s head rolled on the ground, the thugs, at least those who weren’t affected by any of hero’s inventive afflictions, started to get rallied again.
“You had it coming, you ungrateful dipshit!” Kurt spat through tightly closed teeth. He couldn’t watch, couldn’t face what he had to do with his adopted prodigy. Even if he was a criminal. Even if…
“I really did…” But the bastards weren’t enjoying the show for too long. Right when the healer seemed to fall, a new body started to grow from his neck-stump, the clothes, the pouches, the weapons – everything turned into ash just to materialize again on the proudly standing conqueror of death itself.
“What devilry is this?” Kurt’s reaction was understandable. A mix of fear, anger, and disgust, was all over his tainted face. In turn…
“KEYARU-U-U-U!!!” Anna just dashed forward to hug her child. No matter, how disgustingly atrocious his resurrection was, without even looking at the beheaded body that now lied nearby, the woman just went ahead to embrace the lad. She… didn’t seem to be in her right mind, even for a dead soul.
“Anna, I… I…” The shivers began taking a hold of him. His hands, his knees – they trembled so much, this simple touch he though he lost forever, this… This was enough to make him cry. “I’m sorry… I’m so, so, so, so-o-o sorry!..”
“THAT YOU HAVE TO SEE ME DOING THIS!!!” Keyaruga yelled, grabbing Leonard by his wrist. Just a little pressure – and he dropped his sword, the weapon faded into nothingness. Then, the man pushed Anna back, punched his foe in the gut, and proudly showed his captive to his family. “Haa… He-heh! He-e-e… This… This is Leonard, Flare’s… right hand…” The hero spoke, this time trying to maintain his sanity, as his parents now cautiously looked at him. “I… I came from the future! I had to rewind time’s flow itself… Because Flare was evil, and he…” Then, the man put his hand onto the barely struggling imbecile, thus transforming him into Keyaru, the motionless child, whose entire mobility, except for breathing, was shut down for the ease of what he was about to do. “I killed Flare! And he took my guilt. Then…” Afterwards, the healer went ahead and summoned raging flames upon his free hand. Kurt and Anna watched motionlessly, as he approached the magic-shrouded palm onto his face, burn it, scourged the blackened flesh with the sorcery he stole ‘learned’ from Flare… “My trick was revealed, and he headed out to our village, looking just like me. The rest… you know the rest.”
And finally, Keyaruga dropped the motionless doll, unable even to cry out from the excruciating pain the Hero of Healing inflicted upon it. He then faced his parents, still shocked by such a display of the merciless brutality, they couldn’t even properly reply, this entire spectacle of bloodshed, mayhem, rape, torture, demonstration of immortality, and now – proofs of metamorphosis – all of that left them utterly silent.
“Kurt, Anna… I’m so sorry I couldn’t saved you… But I can’t let you, or any one of these fuckers keep me here! I… I have a family! Freia, Setsuna, Ellen, Eve – I so wanted you to meet them… But you can’t now. You… might not believe me, and I understand that.” The red-eyed lad uttered, as his posture crouched more and more, along with his fading bravery. “This is what it’s like to be a man! I must be strong! I have to be ruthless now, so that nobody would challenge me in the future!” The man added, now turning his back to his foster parents. He stood straight, he stretched his shoulders, took a deep breath, and… “LISTEN HERE, YOU FUCKING MONSTERS!!! WHAT YOU’VE FELT NOW IS BUT A TINY BIT OF WHAT I’LL DO TO YOU, ONCE I’M FUCKING DEAD!!! NOW YOU WILL GO INTO THE DEEPEST PITS OF HELL, AND WHEN YOU’RE THERE, PRAY I DON’T FUCKING DIE ANYTIME SOON!!! BECAUSE WHEN I FINALLY KICK THIS SHITTY BUCKET, I’LL FIND EACH OF YOU, AND WE’LL BE PLAYING FOR THE WHOLE OF ETERNITY!!! BUT WHY WAIT, WHEN WE CAN HAVE SOME FUN NOW, HU-U-U-UH?!!!”
The speech was told, the impact made. His words were so zealous, so passionately intimidating, that the weeping fools now reached a whole new depth of despair.
“GET US OUT OF HERE!!!”
“HE’S THE DEVIL!!! DE-E-EVIL!!!”
“KUUNDA (I’m so scared)!!!”
And so, this entire crowd, this mob of immortal corpses, just ran away. Everyone, who could still stand on their feet, began fleeing in panic, trampling each other in the process. What they failed to notice, though, is that the dome is endless only for its main victim. Everyone else just came up against the invisible wall.
The Trial of Heart – its goal is twisted, to be certain. To pass it would mean releasing the dead souls from their grudge toward you. A saint would shift it to forgiveness, but a deranged avenger pumped so much fear in those criminals, that their hatred was replaced by the purest and most animalistic terror. Still, with the task done, the souls began to dissipate in a white light. They would finally be free…
“REMEMBER!!! YOU’VE NOT SEEN THE LAST OF ME!!! WE’LL MEET AGAIN, YOU FUCKING SHITBAGS!!!” Unfortunately for them, though, Keyaruga’s long shadow still loomed above them all. And such, even in relief, the crowd continued to cry, to sob, to wail, to…
“Keya… ru…” But not all left because of dread. When the avenger turned around, his foster mother, crumbling into white flakes, stood on her tiptoes to give him a last kiss on the cheek. “You’ve grown… so much…”
And so, she faded. Kurt quickly followed, although it wasn’t forgiveness or benevolence that filled his raging soul. No, it was an impotent acceptance. He saw Keyaruga as a mirror, in which he saw himself, before he deserted the royal guard and found himself in Alban.
“Someday… you’ll follow my path…” And this was what the man spoke at last, dropping his war-scythe to the ethereal ground. With no souls to redeem in the most twisted of ways, the dome of blackness quickly turned insufferably bright.
The Trial of Heart had been passed.
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to RedoOfHealer [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 14:39 Aware-Witness-6812 I found an abandoned electric scooter
2023.05.28 14:37 YoungTrashKing Looking for a Hurdy-Gurdy.
I'm interested in getting my hands on a Hurdy-Gurdy. If you know anyone or own one yourself please let me know. Would rather support someone near by then buy one online or something along those lines.
submitted by YoungTrashKing
to hobart [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 14:36 mayukiii 22 [F4A] lf study buddy/chatmate/friends
hello! will be moving to manila near the yellow school in june for my review for boards. i'm looking for someone to be productive with or kahit ka-rant lang ganun within the area or pwede rin naman online lang hehe chatmates
about me: -22/F -5'2" -premed graduating student -talkative and makulit once we vibe -not really looking for romance as of the moment but we'll never know lol jk
about you: -22-26 YO -student -talkative and makulit
submitted by mayukiii
to PhR4Friends [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 14:36 surf985 How do I recover from a traumatic and blindsided breakup?
Long for context: 29 bi m here. Grew up super conservative with a non accepting family that I still love. (When they found out I had a boyfriend in college, I got pulled out completely and sent to counseling. Almost 10 years later its something we mostly avoid but still incredibly difficult to work through with people you love)
So: Dated a guy a few years ago. He encouraged me to keep it quiet for a few months so we could build a relationship without me worrying about family. Id come out about us when i was comfident this was long term. Well...6 months in, I'd made up my mind I wanted to do that. He was my best friend, and I was planning to marry him. Even if that meant giving up a stable job, the house I'd just bought, and moving across the country so he could reconnect with his mom. Right or wrong, I'd gone all in on someone I adored and trusted completely. (In hindsight, maybe this was the design flaw. I had to go all in on him and I did...) Still, we were incredibly close. We'd gone in about a year from best friends to someone I wanted to marry.
During this time, his friends outted him as occasionally using some mild drugs, and while i didn't agree with it, I stuck by him. Covid hit about this time and made dates hard, but we still had a great time together nearly weekly. He went on anti anxiety meds about a month or so in as well that completely changed the personality. He went from one of the sweetest and most genuine people to having no emotion what so ever right at the end.
On our 6 month anniversary, he showed up saying he wanted to talk. All I got was "I decided last night I don't love you anymore. We have differences, and like my parents, we'd break up eventually. Can I leave now?" Completely expressionless. Just absolutely blank stare. I never heard from him again. I learned later when I contacted his ex (that I'd caught him texting "trying to get a bike back" maybe a week before he came over to break up) that he'd been reconnecting with several others "as friends" right before everything ended.
It's been a few years and I just started a new relationship. But I can't get over him. It's driven a typically level headed me insane fighting trying to let go of someone I was willing to give up my life for. How do you get past loving someone like that? And how do you regain sanity when someone absolutely crushes you so unexpectedly without any opportunity for closure?
I get he's probably a cheating narcissistic jerk. But he was mine. I've only got about one friend I can talk about this stuff with. So gay bros of reddit... throw me the advice you'd give your friends. I want to love well. But this one has my heart in dust.
submitted by surf985
to askgaybros [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 14:35 cozyeyed Things are getting better
I first got HPPD when i was sixteen after having tripped only a few times. It destroyed me. I was a good student, I had a decent social life, I went out a lot, but coping with the aggressive disruptions of my vision and mental state was taking an enormous toll on me and I buckled. I fell into an extremely deep depression, had horrible eating habits, I gained 70 pounds (I ordered crazy amounts of take out every day and would eat it all in bed), I barely practiced hygiene, stopped going to school, lost friends. I was a shell of the person I used to be and it felt like I was hitting a new low every month. I nearly killed myself on several occasions.
This lasted for about four years.I barely graduated high school and had already spent two years doing fuckall while living at my parents house by the time I got so disgusted with myself that I decided to try to improve things.
It took a while, but I got sober, started losing weight (35 lbs down at the time of this post), got out more, started making friends, even found God lol, and I’m registered for classes at my community college this fall. I’m turning 20 in a couple weeks and I’m entering this new phase of my life with an optimism i haven’t felt in many years and I can genuinely say that I’m happy. That’s not to say that I’ve healed - I haven’t. I still struggle with my visuals and find myself angry about the way things ended up for me a lot, but I guess I’ve changed my attitude towards these issues. I learned to cope. There are definitely bad days, but they’re not nearly as bad as they used to be. I didn’t think I’d ever get to this point, but here we are.
To everyone who’s recently gotten hppd, to those of you who are scared - you’re ok, you’ll learn to cope, and things will eventually get better for you. Just give it time and dont do drugs lol.
submitted by cozyeyed
to u/cozyeyed [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 14:34 Due_Curve1490 【CDTV】耳光乐队《红孩儿十八赢》：“生在这伟大的时代，咱就偷着乐”
戈尔巴乔夫 长者 英国的女王
vivianzheng333：唱到“蝙蝠侠”那段 有点没忍住 心酸
ljbdba：那句 爱拼才会赢 意会深长啊。
submitted by Due_Curve1490
to LiberalGooseGroup [link] [comments]
2023.05.28 14:34 medu_nefer Lent books to a friend (and borrowed 1) but then the friendship ended. We'll see each other for the last time in two days. What do I do?
Sorry if this post is all over the place; it's my first time posting on reddit. I thought I might describe the whole relationship we had and what went down, in case it changed the etiquette. I'll put the beginning of the current situation and the actual issue in bold if someone wants to skip the massive backstory.
So, the thing is, I (now 24F) became really close friends with a girl (now 23F) from my grup at university 3 years ago. We were both good students, liked similar things, watched some of the same movies and shows, loved cats etc., so we quickly bonded. We became nearly inseparable, we studied together, shared all our notes, hung out after classes, I met her gf and spent time with them, and when they unfortunately broke up, I did everything I could to support my friend (and I was really really worried about her mental health, I got like 3 hours of sleep that first night between physically staying with her and then texting, I started inviting her to my family outings etc.), eventually (near the end of the friendship last year) I was even invited to spend a week at her house with her family and while I was there, I was also invited to her older sister's wedding that was happening about a month later (a lot of people started saying they wouldn't attend so the thought was that if I came, then at least some of the money wouldn't go to waste, I suppose).
While things started off great, they changed over time. Like I mentioned, she got that gf and I didn't have the time for dating and wasn't even particularly interested in the guys around me to begin with. She also got cats and then fostered kittens. So her life got busier while mine didn't, and I understood that. The workload of sharing notes started shifting to where I was doing increasingly more. But I was doing it mainly for myself anyway, so I saw no harm in sharing what I had.
But I'm not going to lie, it started getting more and more irritating. Sometimes we'd agree to split the questions between the two of us 50/50 and the day before the test she'd text me saying she wouldn't be able to do her part because she had had a migraine (I got that) and then she took her cats for a long walk, and also her new gf showed up at her place too (that I didn't get). By the time I finished the whole thing, she was asleep and read what I had prepared in the morning. Whatever.
Things started getting bad a year and a half ago, around the time of her sister's wedding. I live in the city where we study but she only rents a flat for the two semesters and goes home halfway across the country for any longer breaks. She was looking for a new place and I went to see one of the flats for her but ultimately, it fell through. Later, she found a place and decided to take it without sending me there to look at it - but she did ask me to get the keys from the owner. It happened the day before I was leaving for that wedding so I could take the keys with me. I agreed no problem but then she changed her mind, calling the whole thing off - only to change it again after a few hours. I told her it's okay but to please let me know earlier if we're ever in a similar situation again (I still had to pack, also it was quite some distance for me to travel so I lost about an hour on public transport, and ofc I had to buy myself tickets - but I didn't mention any of that). Which apparently was a wrong thing to say 'cause she got mad and started ignoring my text messages, including the ones where I asked what time I was supposed to meet the owner (I didn't have the lady's number). When she finally responded, she said she didn't know. Always one to placate others, I started politely asking her to please find out because I didn't want the owner to wait for me, blah blah blah. Eventually, we figured it out, I handled it and went back to preparing.
The wedding was a disaster in itself. It involved her absurdly creepy cousin who clearly had never spoken to a girl and after just 1 day was convinced we were in love and would be together. I understand she found my following her irritating but I didn't really know anyone else and I was freaked out by the cousin - and her egging him on didn't help xd One of the instances was when he kept openly staring at me (y'know how when you look at somebody and they look your way, you look away? well, he didn't) and I decided to kind of show him I wasn't there specifically as his plus one, so I asked my friend's plus one (he's gay and we had met a few times before) to go dance with me, and he was happy to go with me - but my friend said that no, he was there with her and I could go dance with the cousin. And when I finally snapped and glared at her and said firmly but quietly (so no one else could hear) to stop (she was laughing about how he and I should get a photo together for the wedding photobook), she got mad at me. Well, fine, it was just a few hours, I could sit at the table and endure the creepy staring, it's not like he'd try anything with everyone watching. My friend's plus one had a cold or something so I decided to leave with him. Apparently, she was upset that we left so early. The next day, she wasn't speaking to me until we had to leave for the afterparty and did some shopping together etc. But during the party she kept to her sister and her bff and I didn't want to cause any more trouble between us so I stayed on my own - until the cousin showed up. Now, I'm the type of person who freezes when in a sudden, stressful situations, and that's exactly what happened. He tried holding my hands, again stared at me, didn't realise my constant fiddling with my phone was an indication that I didn't want to spend time with him, and generally made this whole day miserable for me. I was so stressed out I couldn't even eat anything. In the evening, hours later, my friend realised what was happening and decided to drive me to her house early. Ofc he tagged along but she made sure to take him back with her. He kept texting me, saying he was going to go to the train station the next morning to see me off and that he would soon come to my city to visit me, and he could stay at my place while he was there. The next day, my friend's mom drove me to the station (my friend woke up too late to go), and once I was on the train, I blocked him. I also texted with my friend and found out that she, as well as her other cousins who sat at our table at the wedding, had approached the dude to tell him to stop but he ignored them. They eventually got his parents involved and that was why he wasn't at the train station. It made me feel much better about the whole thing, since she didn't abandon me like I thought she had. And again, I understand I was kinda a nuisance - a shy stranger at a family gathering.
After that, things were good for a while. But then, the classes started again and it was becoming stressful and taxing again. We have extracurricular classes we have to attend, and our group needed to prepare a short "article" on a topic we chose. I wrote the whole thing but asked the others to please read through it and let me know if they were okay with what I managed so I could send it to the teacher (they did). I also reached out to my friend and asked her specifically to let me know when she had a moment to read it because I valued her opinion a little bit more, since she would tell me if she didn't like something and the others wouldn't (it wasn't even 2 pages long), and she told me she would. Well, she never did, she started sending me memes and talking about the tests she re-took instead. So at the end of the day (the deadline), I asked her how her test went but because I was quite fed up, I didn't stop myself from adding, "thanks btw. next time, let me know you don't feel like doing something we agreed on so I won't have to wait unnecessarily". Should I have just ignored it and went on with my life? Yeah, sure. But I was angry and I don't think what I said was all that bad. Well, to her it was.
I had already noticed she didn't like any sort of critique of herself, even if it was something like us disagreeing on how to perform an experiment (the difference between us was that I had read the instruction). I suppose we both instinctively assume a bit more of a leadership role and sometimes we clashed because of that. She would get very defensive, and I suppose I did too. But in this particular instance, she clearly misunderstood me and an actual argument ensued. What I wanted to say was that I didn't like what our dynamic was, how I was doing so much and was held to those previous standards while she changed her mind whenever she felt like it, was much less reliable and I had to accommodate her almost all the time. But she seemed to think I was looking for gratitude for some reason? That's not what I care about at all; whenever I had some notes or excel sheets or whatever before the rest of the group, I always shared it on our group chat, and never expected thanks or anything. When I discuss a question that may be on a test with somebody, once I find the correct answer, I send it to them, even if it's days later, simply because they wanted to know at one point. I don't care about gratitude and in fact, it makes me uncomfortable. I want to have a good relationship with everyone and if my openness with sharing means that in the future when I need some help, I can go ask one of those people and they will willingly help me, that's an added bonus. Idk why my friend would ever think that but once I realised there was that misunderstanding, I tried to explain what I meant before trying to placate her.
She, however, was really mad, and said a bunch of really hurtful stuff. That, in turn, made me remind her of how she had treated me at the wedding (apparently I was still salty about her initially egging her cousin off), and that prompted her to say that she never wanted me at that wedding in the first place and that I inject myself wherever I can. Now, I never told this to anyone other than my very best friend, but I think I might be somewhere on the autism spectrum and I really don't know how to read between the lines. It's not clear to me what's appropriate and what isn't. So when her mother came up with the idea of me coming to the wedding, my friend's sister gave me an invitation and my friend encouraged me to go, I simply thought it would be okay for me to do so. Now I know to keep to myself and to turn down any offers unless they come from my closest friends and family. But once I got those texts, I got really hurt and was desperately trying to just end the argument, let her be mad at me for a while and we could go back to normal again.
Well, she was apparently done. She ended the friendship and blocked me. Honestly, while it made me realise just how lonely I am, it also did me some good, I think. I focused on myself, my own studying, and haven't had to retake a single test up to this day. She, on the other hand, had to retake almost all of them. Idk if it was just her being used to me doing so much for her or if something else came up in her life, and frankly, I don't care anymore. I wasn't going to go out of my way to antagonise her or anything, we just ignored each other. Eventually, we had to work together on some project and that led to us sometimes talking to each other during a chat with other people from our group. We say hi when we see each other. But nothing beyond that. She unblocked me (idk if she needed to do that in order for us to be able to create a group chat with a third girl for the project, or if she just randomly decided to undo it, don't care) but we don't text or talk when it's just the two of us. I realised that even if she wanted to make amends, I wouldn't want to be friends with her anyway. I got burned and I learned my lesson. Sometimes I feel like I was being used, sometimes - like I overreacted and was too self-centered. At one point, she saw me crocheting something for a colleague (I picked up crocheting fairly recently, she didn't know about it) and asked if I would make something for her (a specific project that she'd pay me for). I was a bit hesitant and mentioned it to my best friend and she told me not to ever do it. She said my ex-friend treated me the way she did but wanted to still gain from me. So I decided not to do it after all. If she wants it, she can learn or find somebody else.
Now. After some time, when I was still blocked by her, I realised she had two of my books, and I had one of hers. I have been struggling with what to do since then. They're my books and I want them back. I have read one of them and the other one suddenly disappeared from all bookstores here so I couldn't get it if I tried. I'm upset over the fact but at this point I'd rather buy them again than have to reach out to her. But on the other hand, I have that one book of hers - and it's supposedly her favourite.
Now, we're probably going to see each other for the last time for an exam on Tuesday. The next time would be at our graduation in March of 2024. So here's my question: do I bring her book on Tuesday without saying anything? Do I hand it to her and tell her to keep my books or give them away to a library? Or do I keep her book as a hostage in case she ever wants it back?
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2023.05.28 14:33 Remarkable-Guava4412 Nestling bird help
I found a nestling bird last night I found it on the gravel in my garden not near any nests, I have been feeding it little bits of wet cat food, don’t really know what I’m doing and would prefer to give it to someone more experienced ?? I have rang the vets and not much help have just told me to keep it which I don’t really want. I’m happy to travel to someone if need be! I’m Downpatrick area based.
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2023.05.28 14:31 Responsible-Dish-977 It's truly a shame that we never really got to see just how powerful Palpatine really was (in the movies at least)
Example: In Episode 1, his apprentice Darth Maul was able to successfully hold his own against 2 jedi's, both a master and an apprentice.
Yet in the Disney series, Maul got annihilated by Palpatine in seconds, even when he had his brother as backup.
I feel we never really got to see this side of Palpatine in the movies. His agility, skills and mastery at fighting. We saw glimpses of it in Episode 3, but nowhere near enough.
He easily fooled me into thinking he was just a frail old man who was able to shoot deadly lightning from his hands... but the truth is this is just a clever act to deceive people. In truth, his fighting skills dwarf those of practically EVERYONE else in the galaxy. THAT is why everyone fears him, including Vader.
PS. It shows that Yoda truly was the mightiest Jedi who ever lived, to be able to go toe-to-toe with Palpatine, with no holes barred, and survive. Note how Yoda was the only Jedi that Palpatine tried to escape from, and when fighting him, even when using ALL his powers, the best he could do against Yoda was a stalemate.
Had it been any other Jedi, hell even a whole gang of Jedi's, I'm sure Palpatine could have flattened them in seconds, whilst holding a sandwich in one hand.
For the record, I know people will argue that Mace Windu 'defeated' him - I don't think Palpatine was actually using his true strength against him. Remember, at this point his key agenda was to fully turn Anakin to the dark side, and he needed an angle to finally make Anakin snap. By allowing himself to 'lost' to Windu, and be 'at his mercy' right in front of Anakin, it gave Palpatine the PERFECT outlet to finally force Anakin to give in to the dark side.
I believe Yoda was the only Jedi in the movies that Palpatine truly used 100% of his power against.. and still survive.
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