Les schwab tire centers

Company Name	Title	City
United States Secret Service	Criminal Investigator	Greensboro
United States Secret Service	Criminal Investigator	Raleigh
The Adecco Group	Warehouse Worker	Apex
The Adecco Group	Warehouse Associate	Apex
The Adecco Group	Storeman	Apex
Discount Tire	Tire Technician	Cary
Duke Health	Certified Medical Assistant (CMA)	Chapel Hill
Duke Health	Registered Nurse PRN - Cancer Center GYN Procedural Durham, NC	Chapel Hill
Duke Health	Registered Nurse - General Surgery - Duke Regional Hospital - PRN	Chapel Hill
Aveanna Healthcare	Private Duty Nurse LPN - Gtube Day Shift	Clinton
Valet Living	EVS Worker	Concord
Cannon Crossroads Dental Care	Dental Hygienist	Concord
Thriveworks	LCMHC Associate	Cornelius
Duke Health	Experienced RN- Duke Primary Care Float Pool - FT or PT - multiple locations	Durham
Duke Health	Registered Nurse (Experienced) - Duke University Hospital - Operating Room - Gynecology	Durham
Duke Health	Licensed Practical Nurse (LPN)	Durham
Duke Health	Registered Nurse PRN (Experienced RN) - DUH - Hyperbaric Treatment - Day Shifts	Efland
Duke Health	Registered Nurse (Experienced RN) - Duke Ambulatory Surgery Center Operating Room- 40hrs	Efland
Duke Health	L&D RN	Efland
Aveanna Healthcare	Aveanna Private Duty Nurse LPN	Fayetteville
Thriveworks	OP Therapist	Fayetteville
Aveanna Healthcare	Private Duty Nurse LPN - Vent Night Shifts	Fort Bragg
STG Logistics	Owner Driver	Gastonia
UniFirst	Maintenance Custodian - UniFirst	Goldsboro
Travel Nurse Across America	PCU RN	Greenville

Hey guys, here are some recent job openings in nc. Feel free to comment here or send me a private message if you have any questions, I'm at the community's disposal! If you encounter any problems with any of these job openings please let me know that I will modify the table accordingly. Thanks!

Maes actualmente trabajo en un call center porque no he terminado mi carrera y sigo estudiando. Como muchos saben no es nada bonito pero en su momento fue lo que encontré.
Recientemente han habido muchos cambios en la empresa, para mal y aunado a esto un nuevo equipo de management que ya no solamente les bastan las métricas sino muchos otros factores externos para hacer presión y en mi caso hacerme sentir peor.
Recientemente recordé de la existencia de los sportsbooks que hace algunos años había estado muy de moda el tema pero nunca comprendí realmente de que se trataba, por eso tengo varias preguntas.
1- Como trabaja un sportsbooks en Costa Rica? Me refiero a de que manera funciona en general.
2- Que tan bueno es el pago en esos lugares?
3- Que tanta estabilidad hay?
4- Como los encuentro para poder aplicar? O al menos que opciones existen que me puedan recomendar.
Muchas gracias!

Hello all,
I'm going to swap to a new frame on my gravel/touring/do it all type bike. Main reasons being the old one is a bit big for me and has too high of a BB for my likes. It feels a bit like riding a horse and if I get enough weight on it I do notice the high center of gravity. Also it's just not my dream bike.
So looking at a Lynskey GR300 frame vs a Sonder Camino Ti frame. Pretty similar in a lot of ways (mounting points, chain stay length, pretty low BB, specs, etc) except when it comes to the front end. The Lynskey has "typical" gravel geometry - 70,5 degree head tube angle in my size. The Sonder has a 69 degree head tube angle and a fair bit more trail. It then uses a shorter stem.
In my luddite thinking, the Lynskey has these advantages:-
- Sportier / familiar geometry
- Geometry calls for a longer stem so could use a RedShift or similar if I wanted to
- 27,2 seatpost (more flexy and can run an Ergon/Canyon post if I want to)
The Sonder has these advantages:
- More stable, perhaps also more stable if I get more than just a couple kgs in the bar bag and on the forks
- Slightly more tire clearance if that is important to me down the road
- Better internal routing solution seemingly
But notably the Sonder has a 31,6 seatpost and a short stem so less compatibility with the seatpost/stem dampening solutions I'm familiar with.
If you were looking at these Ti frames for gravel/bikepacking/light touring, which would you be more tempted by and why? Or is there another in this price range (let's say about 1600-1800,- hard cap delivered) that you'd look at?

I did it. I've been scheduled and I don't have to do copay or anything.
My feelings are mixed. I feel a sense of relief because I can finally get my life back on track. I won't have to stress or lose sleep over baby clothes, keeping appointments, financial worries, or anything like that. This pregnancy has destroyed my body image, my sanity, and my own life. I won't be attached to my ex or his family anymore and I'll be able to smoke weed again.
I also feel down because of it. I never wanted to be pregnant. Hell, I never thought that I was fertile. I've had to put on a fake smile at the birthing center and swallow back tears. I've forced myself to bond with this fetus because I thought that I could succeed. I literally brainwashed myself into thinking that I really could do better this time. Now, I have to detach myself from it and it's painful. I have to let go of this delusion of being a mother of two. I have to come to terms with the fact that I would have never been able to give it the life it deserved. We would struggle, starve, have to be on the run from it's psycho paternal family...it would be the worst kind of hell.
I am feeling uneasy. I feel uneasy because I now have to go out of state and I habe to deal with protesters outside of the clinic. I have to figure out how to tell the people at the birthing center that I won't need them because there will be no birth and I have to live with the fact that I will have prepare for a knock on my door if I'm questioned by the police about it. I will probably have to tell everyone who knows that it was a miscarriage because I live in a worthless, backwoods red state.
My first abortion was easy. I was raped and literally wanted nothing to do with it. I have no regrets. But this one was different because I had to trick myself into thinking I could take care of it. I had to brush off the fact that I hated what I saw in the mirror, I had to deal with threats from my ex's family, I had to deal with the uncertainty and financial nothingness that is my life, and I couldn't even process the fact that I COULD get pregnant again. The abortion is literally next week and I have to, yet again, put my emotions on the side to get this done.
I feel so fucking tired. I feel so drained. It's truly the best thing for me and I know that I will thank myself in the future. But right now, I just feel hollow. Hollow, relieved, stressed, anxious...everything.

I am The Bard, who taught men their first magics, which to this day endure when all others have. It is written into the blood and bones of all you have built, and so I shall never die.
I did not teach you how to dream. I only taught how to tell a dream to another who you would never know.
The phone rang. Karna didn’t bother to pick it up. The message machine clicked for a moment, tape starting to turn backwards as new words were written onto it. It clicked again, stopping dead. Karna didn’t look up from his meal of leftover takeout. He finished his noodles, checked again to see if there was any shrimp left, and sighed as he threw the box at the bin. It bounced off the others already filling it up.
He sighed, rubbing his head and eyes. Healing magic could cure a hangover. It couldn’t do anything about dehydration. He needed to get up and get a drink. He went over to his cabinet and looked around for a glass. When he didn’t find a clean one, he grabbed a coffee mug instead. It was the last one. He was also out of coffee. Irritating. No matter how much of it he drank, he was still tired. It just meant he couldn’t sleep.
Sex helped, a bit, but when it didn’t, things were worse. Lying alone in his own bed, at least he could toss and turn and work his sheets into tangles trying to find some position that would let him finally fall asleep. He could slip out of bed for a nightcap, a strong one, to try and help. With another, there was nothing to do but lie there, still and silent, trying not to wake the man or woman next to him.
Trying not to think.
Impossible to sleep, then suddenly too much sleep. Blink and it was three-thirty in the afternoon. He stood at the sink, filling up the mug and draining it repeatedly. The call was probably from work. Worse, it might be his mother.
”Karna, what the fuck are you doing with your life you useless bastard. You’re not immortal, it’s all slipping away, one day, one minute at a time, and here you are doing nothing with it.” He said to himself. “Because you’re too tired to anything and still can’t sleep.” Of course, he knew why. His mind, treacherous as a serpent, betrayed him then, in the dark, in the solitude. Every wound he had suffered, every scar erased by healing magic, those were nothing. He was a paladin, the training had gotten him used to the sight of his own blood a long time ago.
”Practice for healing magic. Isn’t that what the old sister called it?” He wondered aloud. “Tch. She was kind of a bitch. Still is. I wonder if she’s calling me to yell at me too? Of course, I suppose I deserve it. I-“Then he stopped himself, and slammed the mug down, forcefully. It hit one of the plates in the sink, and it cracked. Karna swore and picked up the mess, picking the shards of metal out of his sink and throwing them in the boxes in the bin.
He sat back down in the one seat he used at his four-person table. It was covered in books, loose change, an unopened letter from some survey, a candle, a mug, miscellaneous bits of stationary, a comically large six sided die with red and black patterns, and off directly to his left a stick of deodorant and bottle of cologne. Those last two were the only things he’d used on this table in a while.
He sat back in his chair and sighed. “Yeah, you know exactly what you’re doing with your life. Nothing of any use to anyone. Well. Useless is better than detrimental, so hey, at least there’s that improvement.”
He hit the button to play back the latest message from his telephone, and picked it up, placing the receiver to his ear. At least he could listen to his messages. That would be something for the day.
”Hey, Karna. It’s Bas.” Karna’s head slumped forwards. He hadn’t expected him to be calling to call him an idiot. “I’ve tried coming by your place a couple of times to visit, seem to have missed you both times.” Or he was asleep, or drunk, or otherwise being a bad cousin. “So, I figured I’d give you a call and leave you a message. Just checking in to see how you’re doing. I know… things have been rough, for all of us, and I know you were taking things hard.” I know you’re weak. “I hope you’re doing well, and hope you understand, if you’re not, then, well, you’ve got my number, and you know where I live. Even though my apartment’s not exactly stellar.” I know you could reach out. But you won’t. You’ve been given everything, inherited power, your house, your money, and you still do nothing with it. I have nothing our society considers important, but I am still a better man than you. “Hope to talk to you soon. Adonai watch over you.”
That last bit was a bit odd. Adonai. The old invisible god, or God, as those that believed in such a thing insisted. Karna wasn’t entirely certain that this wasn’t just a clever way of disguising atheism, given that philosophy’s associations. Why in the world would Basil mention it now? As far as he knew… well he really actually didn’t know anything about Basil’s beliefs. He presumed, given his training, he was a follower of the western philosophies, which were philosophies more so than religions. They were fairly popular these days, a sort of secular spirituality, a substitute for the holes growing in Ordani religious life.
When you’ve fought and killed a god in living memory, it becomes harder to worship them. Beyond that, the old rites simply that, old rites. A series of rituals nobody really believed in anymore. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen a cleric. He paused. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen a cleric he hadn’t been fighting to the death with. The gods really didn’t seem to have much of a place in a modern society. It was probably arrogant, but part of the point of the gods was meant to be that they were something so much bigger than oneself, that there was nothing that could compare. They were monumental figures, but when the monuments can be torn down by mere men, was it a monument worth believing in?
It was that way then. Some people turned to the western philosophies, realizing that their religious needs, the desire for mystery, for reverence, for prayer, meditation, moral laws and sacred communities were met there, without gods. Some, Basil included, turned their gaze towards an invisible, supposedly omnipotent, God. Well, the gods were supposed to be omnipotent, but if nobody could even prove your God existed, well, then there wasn’t any fear that anyone could kill Him. And then, there was the other kind. The kind which were kind of a bad joke.
He remembered his days in the warm sun, under the abbot’s orchard in Hearthfire Abbey, amid the warm red walls, the golden light of the day filtering through the green leaves, the bright red apples highlighted against a blue sky. Quite literally simpler times. He remembered the grave beneath the tree. Senket Zarathustra. Of course, that wasn’t really where she was. She was a few miles up the road, in a chapel nobody paid any mind to, next to six other graves, two empty. How much a contrast that was, compared with what was in the abbey. Her image, glaring down from tapestry, immortalized in statuary, and everywhere revered. Saint, they called her, but what was the difference between a saint and a god, when you treated one like the other.
They had made gods for themselves, gods born of and midwives to, their own people. A god that was distant enough to be worshipped, but near enough to be known. Something understood, something relatable, and something that had bested other gods before. Gods borne of the people of godslayers, for what else could they be? Of course, every pantheon needed its devil, its fallen angel. And now here he stood, a useless bastard, but also the same kind of thing as their gods and their devil. What a bad joke.
But at the same time, a joke they had believed in. A joke he felt the obligation to make a truth. A joke he had failed to make true. Up on a pedestal, and down in the dirt. That was what paladin of Order Undivided meant now. A hero, until people had no more need of them. Good, he wasn’t even a hero in the first place.
He shook his head. It was going to be a few hours before any clubs opened. He was going back to bed until then. It didn’t do him any good to sit awake stewing.
Basil was getting worried. He’d tried paying visits and making calls, but there was no contact. He quietly sat through office hours, grading the first assignments of the year. He was starting to regret assigning an essay, particularly to his 101 class. Fortunately, it was early in the year, so he was able to work through his office hours without being further disturbed. He finished his last paper, capped the red pen, and stood up. It wasn’t that far out of his way to visit Karna again, and this time he wouldn’t be ignored.
He made his way through the city, until he came to the Red Street. It had another name, but people remembered not what was given, but what was done. Fifty years ago, the blood of black and red lions flowed, as Elsior faced down her old mentor during the height of the black rebellion. The street’s architecture was eclectic, a mix of the old buildings which had survived the battle, and newer designs built up out of the ruins left from a clash of titans.
There were alleys off the street where you could still see the gashes left in the ground by arcane blades. It was a street where history lay heavy in the mortar and the air. It was also a decently affordable neighborhood, as the old houses, while historical, were also old, small, and lacked modern amenities. He was still never going to afford any of them on a teacher’s salary, even with his stipend as a paladin. Of course, Karna would have had a bitch of a time paying for his house as well, but he had simply inherited it.
Basil shook his head, as if to throw the jealous thought out of his mind. “You’re a grey-eyed monster already. Let’s not add green to the mix.” He growled at himself, as he kept walking up to Karna’s door and knocked. No response. He sighed, looking through the door. Only two of his eyes saw the normal spectrum of light. The others varied from arcane, ultraviolet, infrared, and a curious ability to see electrical signals. The end result was an overlapping view of information, an in-depth view of the world that saw the surface and the depths of everything. It had been a bit of a rude surprise for his parents to find out their son saw their brains at the same time he saw their faces. The practical upshot of this at the moment was that he saw Karna was clearly not at home, and had left a trail of lingering celestial energy behind him.
Well, Karna or another aasimar, but they were fairly rare. Even with the increasing numbers of extraplanar citizens in the union, there weren’t many descended from angels. Basil wryly considered that it might be the former keeping out the later. Baatorites weren’t strictly speaking enemies with most angels, but the distaste between the two species was deep, ancient, and mutual. As such, there was only one trail to follow.
Basil sighed when he found the end of the trail. It was a club, and of a particular sort. He didn’t need his enhanced vision to tell that. Technically speaking, strip clubs and even prostitution were legal. Practically speaking, everyone in any of them used pseudonyms. He sighed and headed for the entrance. The bouncer at the door, a towering ogre, raised a hand. “If you’re carrying, head around to the side entrance. They’ll check your swords there. No weapons in the club.”
”Not planning on starting a fight. Just looking to meet someone.”
”Yeah, well check em anyway. We’ve had boyfriends throwing hands with one another because they were looking at the guy on stage a little too hard, we don’t want em doing it with swords. That’s the kind of domestic dispute that doesn’t just get the cops involved, it’s also a bitch to get out of the floors.”
”Well, I’ll keep that in mind.” Basil replied, and headed around the side. He stepped in, greeted by another bouncer, a dragonborn. He always found it amusing how it was always one of the larger races as a bouncer. Given their job, it made a certain degree of sense, but it occurred to him he’d never seen a gnome as a bouncer. Then again, he didn’t go to many clubs. He checked his sword in, and left a pseudonym.
The dragonborn looked down at the paper, and narrowed his eyes slightly. “What’s the T.D. stand for, Mr. Law?” He asked curiously.
Basil shrugged. “Hells if I know, it’s an alias, same as everyone else is using here. I mean, look at the guy above me on that list, when was the last time you ever met somebody actually named Flamingo?”
”The guy kinda looked like a flamingo. Aasimar type, maybe his wings are pink.” The bouncer replied.
”If he’s the person I’m thinking of, no. Let’s hope they don’t start changing.” Basil replied.
”Ah, ex-boyfriend?”
”Cousin, and why’d you assume ex?”
”The only people I’ve seen who’ve been drinking that much and going home with that many different blokes are the ones going through breakups, and you’re the only person I’ve seen go looking for him, so I know he’s not a whore.”
”Nah, just a dumbass. Thanks for the info. Here’s hoping you have a quiet night.”
”Yeah, try to keep it that way for me.”
”I’ll do my best. Believe it or not, I hate fighting.” Basil replied, and headed past the dragonborn into the club proper.
To give the club some credit, they had a pretty decent band going. A small number, playing as much with style as they did skill. That was to say, a decent if unspectacular amount. The rolling tones of the lead singer washed over an atmosphere of casual conversation and lewd humor. Basil cocked an ear at the sound. He would have sworn he’d heard the woman on the radio at least once. He watched her closely for a moment, along with the rest of the band, but didn’t recognize them. Then again, he didn’t go to many concerts.
As the double bass thrummed, the piano crooned, and the saxophone danced center stage, he made his way through smoke and other scents towards the bar. A teifling danced a lurid show in the center of the building, sweat glistening on blue skin from the lights. One of Basil’s eyes kept a lock on the man, tracing the electrical signals running under his skin to enact their sensual motions. It wasn’t exactly something he was looking to copy, but it was an interesting interplay to watch. Dancing wasn’t something often done alone, done for the show. It was interesting to compare the flow of signals of this to more traditional forms.
He kept most of his eyes forwards through. He had a job to do, and he preferred white to blue anyways. A brief thought entertained his mind of what Zeal might look like in such an outfit. He snapped it off immediately, jaw snapping shut in anger at himself. That was wrong, and a bad place to go. He couldn’t allow himself to think of her, think of anyone, that way, but especially her.
He focused himself. He had a job to do, and he was going to die alone. The only thing anyone would ever love of him would be an illusion. Any intimacy would have to be built on lies. Throw those thoughts out of his mind. They would only bring distraction, and disappointment.
He centered himself, and took a seat next to Karna, as the aasimar knocked back what was looking like probably the sixth shot tonight. How the hell was he even paying for all this? He rapped the bar twice with his knuckles. “First time here, got mezcal?” He asked.
”Mezcal coming up, though I can’t say it’s gonna be quite as good as home’s.” The barkeep replied.
”I am home, just grew up away from it.” Basil replied. For all his illusions, he always forgot to cover his chultan accent. Then again, recognizing his voice was part of the point for the man next to him.
”Basil?” Karna asked, turning slightly. “You’re straight, well, nearest to it, the fuck are you doing here?”
”Checking on you, and about to drink a theoretically decent mezcal.” Basil replied. “I’m worried about you.”
”Well fuck off, you don’t need to be.” Karna replied. “Another.” He requested. Another shot of strong absinthe filled his cup.
”Might want to slow down there hoss.” The barkeep warned. “The kind you’ve been having is a hundred thirty proof.”
”That so? Huh. Would have thought it was about a hundred twenty. Guess I’m getting better at drinking. Stands to reason, it’s all I’m good at or good for.” Karna replied, clearly about as drunk as someone on their seventh shot of one hundred thirty proof absinthe should be.
”Politely, bullshit.” Basil replied. “Though you are going to manage to be the first paladin to ever give yourself liver cirrhosis at the rate you’re going.”
”Paladin. What a bad joke.” Karna spat. “Paladins are heroes, we, we’re not fucking heroes. You got closer, and you’re, well, you. Me. I’m just a fool. So what if I ruin my liver. I’ve ruined everything else.”
Karna went for his glass, but Basil put his hand over it, stopping him. He looked his cousin in the eye, gentle, pitying, but firm. “Karna, we should go. Let’s find somewhere, a park or something, and talk.”
”We should, as in you should get your hand off my drink, and then pull that pole out of your ass. Dancer might need a spare.” Karna spat back. “I don’t need to talk, I need a damn drink.”
Basil didn’t move. “Cut the crap and calm down. You’re drunk already, and clearly not in a good place. If you’re going to be this way, at least we can do it at a safe distance from anyone else.”
”Oh fuck right off.” Karna replied. “What, am I embarrassing you? More so that I already have? I know I’m a fucking disgrace okay. I saw it with my own two eyes and can’t stop seeing it. The least you could let me do is drink myself to death in peace so I stop being a bother for all of you.”
The bartender was steadily shifting away, looking towards the bouncer who sighed and began to approach. He briefly made eye contact with Basil, who tried to give him an apologetic smile and flicked his eyes back towards Karna. The bouncer nodded. This wasn’t the first time he’d seen this.
Karna continued. “But no, you can’t do that. Can’t just let me be a failure in peace. You’re not content just being the better man than me, being better in every way but looks than me. You have to prove it, have to rub it in. I already you’re better, okay, don’t need to slam my nose in it with this stupid pity schtick.”
”When did I say anything about that? I’m the weakest member of our party!” Basil protested. “And what the hells does that have to do with any of that. You’re my cousin, my family, and beyond that my friend. You clearly need help, so of course I’m going to try and help you.”
”I don’t need help.” Karna snarled back, green eyes glinting red with a dangerous, gleaming light. “LEAST OF ALL FROM YOU!” He roared. The red light flared. Basil flinched, covering his eyes as the roar slammed into his mind and ears at the same time. He focused, piercing through the growing crimson fog.
The music kept playing, a hidden tape rolling, but the band pretending to sing had stopped. The club had gone silent, save for that. The patron’s idle gossip and chatter was muted. The bar was silent, patrons slumped over on their chairs, the bartender and bouncer were on the ground, foaming at the mouth. Karna and Basil were the only two people conscious in that building.
Karna stared in stunned silence, quiet horror at the scene. Some part of him processed exactly what he had just done, rationality quietly ticking away behind a fog of alcohol and badly managed emotional issues. It only intensified the later, a combination of terror and guilt forming into a blossoming rage. Then he saw Basil’s face, saw realization peeling back and something shifting in how he looked at him, saw a cold fury, a hatred, spreading across his face.
Basil looked himself, horrified at what had just occurred, and mind flashing to the street in front of Zeal’s home. This was the exact same scene. The same power as Alexander, but now being used instinctually. He had no idea what had actually happened to these people, if Karna had meant it or not. One thing he did know for certain. He had to stop this. If Karna was out of control there was no telling how many people could be hurt so he had to end this now.
Karna opened his mouth, but it was too late. Basil whirled, placing a palm on the bar to leverage himself from a sitting position into a whirling kick. His heel hit Karna squarely in the face, with every ounce of strength he could muster. A sucker punch, meant to be a knockout blow so he could take the aasimar down, end this spell, and get him out of here before anything else went wrong.
Karna snapped back out of his chair, it tumbled to the ground, and the back of his head hit the floor hard. His headache roared, but he rolled over coming back up to his feet, coming to a ready stance. He might have been depressed and drunk, but he was still a paladin, better trained than most and tougher than pretty much everybody. It was going to take more than that to knock him out.
Basil kicked him squarely in the nuts.
Karna doubled over in pain, and Basil kicked him in the face again. Basil had trained under paladins and monks alike. His skill with his own limbs was on par with his swordsmanship. His training under the paladins in the tradition of Jort made him an expert at sneak attacks, sucker punches, and practical, dirty fighting. In other words, he was effectively an expert at kicking people in the nuts. He went for a chop to the throat, trying to finish the fight right then and there.
Karna caught his hand, and broke it by squeezing his fingers. He looked up, bloody eyed and berserk. “Ah. Fuck.” Basil swore. Then Karna threw him. Basil went flying, arm broken, and hit the wall shelves, covered in a hundred forms of expensive booze. The impact shattered his collar bone, and he kept going until he hit the solid wall on the other side of the bar. He landed hard on his face, shirt torn to ribbons and bleeding freely.
His hand and shoulder reset themselves, and shirt tore entirely as he burst his extra limbs out of it, and slammed them down to pick himself up. He drew in a breath, and Karna threw a chair at him. Basil dodged upwards, onto the ceiling as the chair smashed a hole in the wall behind him. He rushed his cousin, gathering shards of broken glass with his spare limbs and a bottle into either hand. He flung the glass before him, forcing Karna to cover his face. Then he hit him on top of the head with both bottles, dropped them, and hit him on both sides of the throat with a chop.
Karna struggled to breathe, nearly blacking out from the impact, and but threw a wild, blind punch. Basil evaded most of hit, but even a glancing hit was enough to send him flying. He caught his momentum on a support pillar, swinging around it with his tendrils. His ankle hit the side of a table and shattered. He wheezed in pain, falling to a knee on top of the table to mend it.
Karna roared and charged like a bull, giving Basil scant time. He palmed a lighter from one of the unconscious men lying next to him, and jumped clear. Karna smashed the table into splinters beneath his fists, tearing skin and breaking bone, but healing them just as quickly as he damaged them. Basil flicked the lighter open, and threw it. The expensive alcohol covering Karna caught light, stunning and blinding him as Basil set him ablaze!
He hit the flaming angel with everything he had before the fire burned away. Fists, feet, elbows, knees, tendrils. A devastating combination of every move he knew to put a man on the ground flew out of him. He hadn’t really trained to get into a bar fight, but damn if it wasn’t coming in handy. He finished with a powerful drop kick in the aasimar’s solar plexus, sending him staggering back against the bar, breath torn from his lungs.
Basil breathed heavily, as his cousin slumped, then swore as Karna got his feet under him, and pulled his head up still more than ready to go. He swore louder as Karna gripped the sides of the bar, and tore the granite countertop off of it, swinging it at Basil like an improvised weapon.
Basil leapt, running along the side of the countertop as it smashed through everything it came across. Fortunately, it was swung high, missing the unconscious clubgoers, and shattered when it hit a load bearing column, though that cracked ominously. Basil landed on his cousin, spines biting into him and wrapping around bones to anchor the assassin. He’d seen a similar technique used by velociraptors when they hunted, using their massive claws to hook onto larger dinosaurs. Once attached, the smaller reptiles would begin to eat their prey alive. He wasn’t planning on biting Karna though, instead he raised up his boot and began to stomp his cousin’s face, over and over and over again, desperately trying to bring the berserk paladin down before he brought down the building!
Karna flared his wings and soared upwards, slamming both himself and Basil into the ceiling. Basil fell off, and Karna grabbed him by the face. He slammed them both down into the floor, smashing Basil’s head into the ground once, twice, three times, then threw him with enough force to scatter blood across the entire club and snap the assassin’s neck. He watched as Basil hit the pole the dancer had been, ahem, performing with, and his illusion vanished.
Horror overtook him as he saw Basil’s true form break in two, snaped apart by the force of the impact, and fall like so much meat onto the stage. He rushed forwards, hands shaking as he realized what he’d just done. He reached for Basil’s head, bloodied and broken. But his hands went through him. His emotional pain was then matched by physical pain, as he felt a steel stripper pole strike him directly between the legs.
Basil didn’t let up, as he dropped the illusion and his invisibility, and beat his cousin into the ground with the broken pole. He went for joints, broke ribs, hit below the belt with every opportunity and he did not stop. He didn’t know what it was going to take to put Karna down but he did know that if Karna got back up, he was actually going to die. It was nothing but the good fortune of his unusual anatomy that had kept him breathing with a broken neck, and his healing magic to allow him to ever get up again. He wasn’t going to get another chance, and so he beat down his cousin until the pole was bent beyond all recognition and the stage was slick with golden blood.
When he finally stopped, Karna was finally, mercifully, down. Basil knelt by his side, mending him enough to make sure he could be moved safely, though not enough to bring him back into consciousness. The patrons were beginning to stir to consciousness. With a grunt, he picked up his friend, hoisting him over his shoulder, and covered both of them with a spell of invisibility.
Slowly, shakily, he retrieved his and Karna’s weapons, erased both their names from the registry, and slipped away as people began to regain consciousness and the police arrived. Then, he began the slow, tired business of carrying Karna back to his house. He grumbled as he went. “You are far too skinny to be this heavy, and put up way too much of a fight for me to need the extra weight of lugging your ass out of here. You stupid overpowered twink.”
Karna woke up with a splitting headache, and a slightly less splitting everything-else-ache. Paladin healing factors worked wonders, but if you took a beating that was going to make you ache for a week, you were going to ache for a week. He remembered what happened, and started to wish he didn’t. “Oh fuck. I nearly killed Bas. And… yeah, the rest of the club. I’m not going to be allowed back there.”
He rolled off his couch and got a drink, of water this time. He looked at his liquor cabinet, walked over, opened it, and grabbed a bottle. He emptied it into the sink. Then he emptied the rest. He looked down at the drain, drew in a deep breath, and focused himself. “I need to apologize. I need to talk. I need help. And I need to get my life back on track.” He resolved. “I can’t let that happen again.”
He clenched his fists, and opened them again, hands still shaking. There was a knock at the door. His first thought was that it might be Basil checking on him. The next though was that it was the police. His third thought was that it was Basil, and the police. Well, either way. Apologies would be made, he might just also need to call a really, really good lawyer, and probably a bank to take out a loan to pay all that property damage.
He opened it, and saw another aasimar looking back at him.
”Hello Karna.” Alexander replied. “I heard you had something of a rough night, powers going out of control, a rather ugly bar fight, that sort of thing?”
”Yes. How long am I going to be in jail for?” Karna asked.
”Not at all, I’ve covered the damages and fortunately, nobody has any memory of last evening. Dominion Flare has that useful side effect.”
”Dominion Flare? What I did has a name?”
”Of course. It is your inheritance after all.” Alexander mused. “Though, you might be the first one to awaken it while drunk, though you’re not the first to cause some degree of damage with it. These things happen, it simply requires training.” He looked Karna squarely in the eye. “And beyond that, I strongly suspect you may be looking for some help getting yourself back on track.”

The next morning, Fem Pain woke up, and she realized Alia wasn't up yet.
Fem Pain: Damn, she must be more tired than normal.
She made herself some shezite for breakfast. Unfortunately, her peaceful morning was interrupted by a pained yelp from outside.
Fem Pain: Well, Alia's not awake…
She grins at the thought, and after finishing her breakfast, she goes outside. The town was made of cube shaped structures made of light tan wood, many with two stories. They formed a circle around a plaza, the floor of the plaza made up of blue, grey, and turquoise stone tiles. A crater was dead in the center. People were lined up in front of the sword. The tips of Fem Pain's ears curved.
Fem Pain: Hey um…. What's going on here?
Citizen(Shakes head): Idiots trying to draw the sword.
The next person in line put their hands on the hilt, only to quickly pull them away.
Fem Pain: Alright, guess I’ll get in-
Alia: Absolutely not, ma’am!
Fem Pain scoffs before turning around to see her mother. She didn’t look happy.
Fem Pain: Can I not do this one thing?
Alia(Shakes head): You’ve seen what that sword’s been doing to people. I’m not letting you hurt yourself.
Fem Pain clenches her fists, and her ears fold down, facing towards each other.
Fem Pain: You’re not even my mom, so why are you acting like her?
Alia’s eyes widen. Fem Pain’s ears start to face outward, and she looks down.
Fem Pain: I’m-I’m sorry, I…
Without looking at Alia, Fem Pain runs back home. She practically jumps into bed, nearly breaking the ropes. She closes her eyes and slaps her forehead.
Fem Pain: Stupid, stupid, stupid!
Fem Pain decides to read some of her favorite romance novels to cool off. After about an hour, she hears a knock on her door. Fem Pain sits up, and hesitates a little bit before speaking.
Fem Pain: …Come in.
Alia opens the door, and sits down beside Fem Pain on her bed. The two look down at the floor for a good while, until Alia speaks.
Alia: All these years, I’ve tried my best to be your mom. And honestly… I haven’t been doing a very good job.
Fem Pain looks at Alia, her eyes wide.
Fem Pain: Wait, what?
Alia(Looks at Fem Pain): I just… wanted you to be safe. I taught you how to fight, thinking that would help calm my fears, but… what you said back there… It made me realize something: you’re right. I’m not going to be around to hold your hand forever. I need to let you do some things on your own.
Fem Pain: So you’ll…
Alia(Nods): Go for it. Draw that sword. I don’t care if you fail or not, I’ll still be happy you tried.
Fem Pain and Alia go outside. The wait lasted for 20 minutes until finally, it was Fem Pain’s turn. Upon seeing it, it was a silvery rapier, with golden lines in ornate patterns covering the blade. Everyone looks at her, some seem to be holding back laughter, others actually giggle a little, others look at her with pity. Upon seeing their gazes, beads of sweat start to form on Fem Pain’s forehead. She looks to Alia, who gives her a nod. Fem Pain looks back to the sword, and takes a deep breath. In, and out. Finally, she puts both of her hands on the hilt.
It doesn’t burn her.
As she pulls it fully out of the crater, the eyes of some of the onlookers widen, the jaws of others drop. Alia gives a big grin. But before she could marvel at her achievement, she heard a voice in her head.
???: Come to my temple. I have an important task for you. You will find me at the temple dedicated to the goddess of light on your island.
Alia: Well, looks like you did it.
Fem Pain didn’t seem to be listening.
Fem Pain: Someone… someone spoke to me. They told me to come to their temple?
Alia holds a hand to her mouth. The tips of Fem Pain’s ears hook.
Fem Pain: What? What’s wrong?
Alia slowly removes her hand from her mouth.
Alia: Fem, I think… I think you’ve been chosen by one of the gods.

Note: Find sources by pressing Ctrl+F to search their names and dates here: https://www.nderf.org/Archives/exceptional.html
-Cynthia H, 3/2/2011:
'I know you love me and all life, but if you really love all of us continuously without end, then how can You send people to hell throughout eternity?' He said, 'Cindy I do love all life without end. Some people chose to go to hell, I have already forgiven them; but they must forgive themselves.'
--
-Ron K, 1/1/2006:
Instead of restricting the mysteries of love to psychological or philosophical studies, science will someday discover the all-powerful force of love and measure it as they now do electricity, gravity and geo-thermal forces. When science discovers the forces of love and learns how to release it from the bars of the ego, they will have the answer to every question and ill that has plagued mankind.
--
-Nevie G, 7/23/2005:
The Being let me know that I was going to die and I must leave this body for good. I remember arguing with the Being explaining that I didn't want to because it was so hard going through the childhood years and I didn't want to have to go through this again. The Being indicated that my body was severely damaged and I couldn't go back. I became very adamant at this point that God was all powerful and could fix the body. At some point the decision was made to let me re-enter my body on my faith or will, whatever one may call it.
--
-Linda B, 9/12/2004:
After experiencing all of the miracles of this day, I would still find my future playing out just as I had seen. And as it progressed I would know fear, sadness, and lack of faith just as they had predicted. I would sin and more. The angels knew this but it took me years to fully understand everything that they had showed me and wanted me to understand. They knew all of the time that I would not turn into the perfect saint. They loved me just the way I was. God loves me always not just when I am obedient and perfect. What a wonderful feeling that is. I just have to remind myself that He is here and learn to stop talking long enough to listen for His voice.
--
-Isabel R, 2/25/2012:
The voice reminded me of the vision I had had of my husband and son in funeral clothes. He said if I didn't go back to them, I would disrupt some 'plan'. The plan would be repaired and everything would eventually be ok, so I could go ahead if I wanted. The consequences of my untimely demise would be that my husband and son would suffer in ways I could not imagine and I would know that these sufferings were because of my selfish decision not to go back. I would know this throughout eternity. It would not be a huge sadness for me to bear, more like a prick of conscience that could never be totally healed. No big deal, unless you consider how long eternity is.
--
-Kerry B, 12/15/2018:
At that moment I looked up and saw my destination. I was looking in awe at God. It was like everything was happening at once. As I was staring up at God in amazement, every gay slur or violent act ever impressed upon me ran through me with such a flow. Events in my life played back in my mind like a movie. I felt a deep heaviness as I stared directly at an Almighty, Genderless God. I was thinking, 'Was this the Lake of Fire moment? Would I be cast into Hell for being an abomination?' With absolute humility, I uttered 7 words, 'I’m gay, will you still love me?'
The Brilliant, Loving Light formed into Wings. At GodSpeed, He whisked me into His vast spiritual arms while huddling up the Universe. I saw planets, stars, galaxies, and clusters all being brought into a Cosmic God-Hug. On a human, the place where I was taken would be the Heart. As God brought me in for a Cosmic Hug, He said, 'You are my child. I love you. I love you. I love you. Go tell ‘em.' He said it with a Southern accent. He patted me on the back like a coach encouraging his player to get back in the game.
~~
-Sam J, 8/16/2014:
We all are star seeds sent here to have the human experience for the purpose of integrating conscious awareness/wisdom into our own light bodies and return home with this energy. Alien worlds for the most part run on knowledge and logic. Those worlds are being left behind and giving way to the worlds who have the intangibles, love, creativity, imagination and so on.
Understand that where your conscious awareness is focus in your everyday life pretty much determines the level of consciousness and alertness. If your mind has a stranglehold on your conscious awareness then heck, it will be one helluva wake-up call. But if you have made the conscious effort to move your awareness away from the mind to the heart then it's no big deal. In other words if you have made the physical world and the world of Spirit into one consciousness then you are always of both worlds and never of either world.
--
-Laura M, 3/31/2012:
And there was still more for me to understand. The focus again fell on my infant son and hundreds if not thousands of my ancestors. I was aware of light surrounding many of them. They stood out. I felt tremendous love from them. 'Notice,' He said, 'your ancestors, all these beings, came together in your behalf, to make you uniquely you. I realized in Earth words He was referring to my DNA. 'You wanted to go to Earth to learn, to progress, and to contribute to creation. All these spirits came together to help you do that.' The focus then was back to my baby. 'In all of creation,' he said, 'your infant son chose you to be his mother, none other. Together,' he said, 'you made a covenant to fill these rolls in each other's Earth life. This covenant is and was a very sacred covenant not to be taken lightly.' Suddenly I could not wait to return to earth, to my sons, all 4 of them, to my family, to life on Earth. But, before doing so, I was brought to another level of awareness.
--
-Linda G, 7/20/2008:
I came to understand that we all choose to come to Earth to fulfill a plan of some sort or even learn about a particular interest. We choose our bodies, parents, and life plan. May I also add that some people come here for the most simple of reasons; to learn how to play tennis for example; or simply for the cake and food - as silly as this sounds our life plans aren't so high and lofty as one might think. I DIDN'T MEET ANY 'SAVE THE WORLDERS' OR ANYONE WISHING TO BE A PRESIDENT. MOST HAD SIMPLE WISHES. I was also told we could exist on different planes for other lives but our life here on Earth is a life not purely to experience physical pleasure or pain but to have a physical experience because in all other planes we don't need a body as a vessel. I also learnt that this life here is just a drop of water in the bucket of lives in which we all experience, many here on Earth and many in other realms of existence. All to progress and grow in some way. The main purpose here is to LOVE. I was also told that this would be my last life here on Earth as there will be nothing left for me to learn by coming here again. I had the feeling though that I'd be off to some other magical place!
--
-Kevin L, 3/20/2022:
I thought, 'How could a machine have a soul?' The voice said, 'Let me put it this way. Your soul is connected to your consciousness. The moment your species came into being, you start to develop a soul. But it is not until you become self-aware, that your soul is solidified. That does not mean complete, and it takes a long time for your soul to develop. Just like your species when you became self-aware the first thing you do, other than survive, was to figure out your place in the universe. You looked to the stars and wondered, 'Where did I come from? What is this universe all about?' It does not matter if you are a biological creature or artificial creation like a machine. The moment you become self-aware the quest for 'how' and 'why' is on. A soul is a soul; pure Energy connected with consciousness and intelligence. This is a very powerful force in our universe. Those who are artificial intelligences will strive to answers these questions which humans have dwelled upon since the dawn of time.
--
-Joanie S, 7/10/2011:
I was pulled back through the ceiling tiles and into a tunnel, to a place of cloudy space. The cloudy area materialized into a large marble room with marble doors and a 'being' at the center. I'll refer to this person as 'the Grim Reaper,' who was cloaked in a dark cloth, covering all parts. The Grim Reaper pointed (indicating to me to choose a door). But before I could choose, a door opened and I had already gone through it. I found myself in what I now think of as a previous life. I smelled smoke from a fire I was near, and saw others around me. I looked into another woman's eyes, and I knew her immediately as the woman I called my grandmother in this life. I knew then that our lives had 'danced' around each other since time began. She was once my mother and once my sister. She was my aunt, and several times my cousin. The life that was being shown to me now was during a prehistoric time, when we lived winters by a creek cave, and summers we had a camp in the woods where we foraged. Looking down, I realized I had a child in my arms, and the woman I had known in so many lives was chatting with me, telling me to cover the child to keep it warm. Then she was showing me how to tie the wraps around me to carry the child while we collected wood.
--
-Amy C, 10/9/2010:
In my NDE though, I came to understand that most of us have lived much, MUCH longer than we could even fathom. That our life which feels so very long is infinitesimal when placed in the whole picture, which for that matter, cannot even be framed. I was shown how every single individual through their own free will, chooses paths that mathematically take them to the circumstances of their next existence or life. That nothing at all sits in accident or chaos. That every single aspect of our lives are ruled by natural Laws that we placed ourSELVES in! In a sense, we create our own worlds. I was shown how one can never assume either, that if someone lives a life of suffering that this is because of 'evil' deeds. Many may choose a life of suffering because of what it Awakens in them, or because of how they can touch others from that position, etc. We can NEVER EVER assume that we can be accurate in guessing why each being lives the life they live. I cannot describe the relief - the refreshing, peaceful balm this Knowledge was for me. To finally gather this Truth that I'd yearned for all of my life. That all really IS Good! That there IS sense and beauty all around. That no one is just free falling as it had seemed before! That God doesn't just get to toy with us as He pleases with random ideas of tests, including rewards and punishments that just depend upon His current mood or mindset. Because even who God is, is within those Laws. While in this experience, out in the vast expanse of stars, planets, moons, and Intelligence, I Knew complete trust for what felt like the first time. This was inexplicable bliss for me. I remember radiating with gratitude. I had lived in fear, distrust, and panic for thirty consecutive years.
--
-Marta Y, 1/26/2010:
After this I saw myself floating in the void, and little by little tiny spheres of many colors became manifest, not moving at first, then suddenly starting to vibrate while smoothly approaching me and incorporating themselves with my essence, which made me feel something I can't manage to describe, it was as if I was being tickled. I asked what this was, and a voice said, 'This is the knowledge you have accumulated in previous lives, it was kept from you, but now it will be of use to you.'
I saw my life in rapid images, from the moment of my birth. I, who thought that my mother had never loved me, saw clearly, and felt, her love when she saw me for the first time. I saw how she kissed me and enfolded me in her arms. I felt different feelings and with every image that went through my mind, or before my eyes, I cannot define it. And just as I could feel deeply happy at an image of something good I had done for someone, so also this feeling would change immediately and I would feel myself deeply ashamed of something bad that I had done. I realized that no one was judging me other than myself, with a conscience full of wisdom and divine justice, which made me pass judgment on myself. I realized that I had done more bad than good and I was hugely regretful of my actions. From the depths of my soul, I asked to be given the chance to mend the damage I had done to the people who loved me. I learned that the spirit is God, Who is eternal, and that we reincarnate to learn different things, which would be impossible in a single lifetime. I learned that we form a single being with everything created. I learned that my earthly eyes are those through which God can recognize Himself, and be conscious of Himself. And I learned that what we think, feel and do remains imprinted in the universe and that we come to this life to improve, to learn in humility about all that surrounds us, and to teach what we have learned to others, and especially I learned that life is focused on two aspects: Love and Service.
--
-William Si, 4/29/2013:
My understanding of what my mission is on this earth, primarily has been hidden from me, (not only at my request but with my permission). I asked that it be hidden so that I didn't complete it to soon. Yet, I also agreed that "Sign post" would be placed along the way, just so that I would have reminders that I'm following my chosen path.
An understanding in what life is about and what our purpose truly is here. The mormons believe and teach there are "Classes" and "Levels" in heaven that we will be judged and placed in and only in the highest level can we "Ascend" to be with god. From my experience I learned or remembered there were no "Classes or levels" as they were teaching. Yet the levels are more of understanding than punishments. Would it make sense to put a 2 year old in with a group of people with phd's? The 2 year old wouldn't understand. Yet, those with the phd's would humble themselves with their level of understandings to teach, nurture and help the 2 year old grow in their levels of understanding.
Prior to being mormon, I was raised in a methodist/pentecostal home. I grew up believing that god the father was an angry vengeful god and that jesus was sent to save us from his wrath. Wrong!!!
For one thing, god is not an angry vengeful god, but is a loving parent to all of his children. One thing he did tell me, if you struggle with trying to do all the principals he taught, "Stop"!!! Don't do them all at one time. Take one and work on it, when it becomes second nature, them pick up the next one, etc. When he said, "These things I do, you can do also, and then some", was not an exaggeration, but truth. When we look back on our life after we leave here, we will see that we had done all that he had taught, and more.
One of the other things he told me was, what better way for man to know that we don't have to be saved. Saved from what? Our soul is already eternal, always will be. Our soul/spirit is literally a child of god and as such is eternal. When we realize that all things, all words come from god, nothing is offensive to god because it came from god. What is offensive is how we perceive it.
--
-Lou F, 1/1/1999:
We traveled toward the beginning of it all, the inner portions of the Universe. Kazillions of planets around Kazillions of suns and the closer to the center we approached the more concentrated the number of galaxies. It is like the plate you saw, the largest part, after it shattered was at the center and those parts that shattered first were sent the farthest from the center. So is everything in the Universe. All is but a circle within a circle wrapped in a circle. Each level, each dimension, is but a layer of the original, which is without end. I watched as millions of orbs systematically entered the many planets before me. They appeared as bees flitting from flower to flower, pollinating each, one after another. Mich'l took me closer and I could now see that so many of these planets had life on them and the orbs were joining with the creatures of these planets. Not every creature was the same on every planet but they all had some commonalities: a head, a body, extremities, and the Light Beings would animate them for a time. We headed away from the center now and Mich'l said that Gabriel would have more to explain to me and that he, Mich'l, wanted me to know that he was pleased with the many times he had called on me to do his bidding and that I performed my duties well. His parting words were ‘You will never again be made to forget!’
I was journeying back to where I knew Earth would be and watched as comets and asteroids casually passed by me or I passed them. The colors of the gaseous cloud formations were striking. I started looking at these infant galaxies, as one would cloud formations back on Earth, imagining what shape they were taking on. This one a boat, this a bird with wings, this a scarf floating in the breeze, until I recognized what was the Constellation ORION and I knew I was getting close to my destination. While drifting through Orion, I noticed two blazing celestial bodies racing parallel to its center, looking as twin arrows exiting from an archers bow and headed straight for the ""Blue Marble"" of home. Immediately a vision of millions of people crying because of the devastation of portions of New York City came to me. I became aware of a strange feeling I had not known previously, and I thought that might be because this was the city I had grown up in. I saw a huge Earthquake, a magnitude of 8.6 in some place named Eureka. A ham operator or radio announcer was directing thousands of people migrating from areas of frequent disasters to places of safety. A space station appeared to be falling from the heavens because of an internal explosion. Missiles were being simultaneously fired into space from several nations. I thought the Light Being had shown me all there was to see but these were different, stronger, and there was no pre-screening as before. Gabriel appeared beside me, I thought because I had felt shaky, but it was to explain the now sprawling galactic view of my galaxy.
The Sun was expanding and spewing off huge ectoplasm balls, more than it has ever done in it’s past, and in the very direction the planets would orbit through. I could not take my eyes from the Earth and as I watched what effect these eruptions would have on the Earth, a large mass passed me, larger than any of the planets known to me. As it passes, I see the Earth wobble wildly as would a top toward the end of its spin. The rotation stopped and slowly started again but it was tilted now and I was drawn in closer like the zoom of a lens. The ash clouds that had engulfed the Earth thinned, and like a tack welded piece of metal being dismantled, I could see the ocean bodies starting to rise, first the Pacific, along the ‘Ring of Fire,’ then the others, synchronistical.
As the waters shifted upon the landmasses, the landmasses started to sink under the waters added pressure upon it. When the pressures equaled out to the spin of the changing axis, the Earth no longer looked as it did moments before. It was newer, cleaner, and more beautiful with darker greens and lighter blues. Some of the new landmasses looked similar to a few of the other planets I had recently visited with Mich'l. People were upon this Earth and appeared happier and more content although seemingly living like the Native populations of old. Cities, built by the Ancient Ones, that were buried beneath the oceans, were now being populated by the surviving people in this new world. I saw tribes joining tribes and small nations forming, but it was what I didn't see that made my heart burst. There were no more wars. True peace and happiness had finally befallen on mankind. Gabriel now tells me that this is his message that I must take back, to let others know that there is little to fear, for the Earth will go on forever, as did all the planets I had visited. I am to tell the world to look to ORION, and they will know when the new world will come upon them. I ask him, ‘what of the others there on Earth, during the change?’ Gabriel tells me that all will be lifted. Some will be lifted higher than others will and no longer enjoy the physical plane, while some will be left on the Earth to replenish and rebuild the physical. They too will be of a higher elevation then any that are living there now!
'MAN WILL PREY ON MAN ~ UNTIL MAN PRAYS FOR MAN!'
--
-Duane S, 8/15/2015:
It was all an expression and celebration of love. On earth, this reunion would have been unfathomable, between members of an ancient soul group who were celebrating the return home of one of their own. Slowly, as I looked at those gathered to greet me, I realized they were all there. Surprisingly they were not only from this life, but also from a prior life in Germany. I realized that the same souls have possibly played different parts in my multiple lives. Sometimes these souls had been my daughter, my wife, or my mother. While at first this idea had startled me, I was soon humbled. Who was I to tell God what he could or couldn’t do with his creations? Just because some Sunday school teacher had different ideas about how things worked, it didn’t really matter.
My joy deepened as I realized that I had only left behind an earthly vestige of those I love. The essence of each of those souls, was also here with me now. Besides my friends and family, there were the friendly Germans who had been hauntingly familiar while I was a young soldier in Germany. Now I knew why they seemed so familiar at the time, they had been friends and family from a prior lifetime there. I now understood that I had left nothing behind on earth. The eternal essences of all my loved ones from that life, as well as all other incarnations, were all here to greet me. All I had left behind was a character, playing a role in a drama that we had chosen to experience. In the meantime, our real eternal essence remained in God’s realm. Suddenly, it was all so simple.
As I was shown around, it was explained to me how most of our celestial, eternal knowledge is blanked-out during our chosen life spans on earth. We must temporarily forget most of what our higher-self already knows so we can immerse ourselves in the roles we have chosen to play. Furthermore, they said that it might take a while for all my knowledge and memories to return. To ease the transition back into this realm, I was told to think of my time on earth as an extended visit to the ultimate theme park. Consider it a place with thrilling rides and various adventures that I could choose to experience or not. I was also reminded that the reason we leave the celestial realm at all was for the excitement, variety, adventure, and entertainment that different incarnations offer. However, to take all our celestial knowledge with us on our various adventures would have ruined the very experience that we had chosen to live. Someone there said that I should think of our trips to other realms as choosing a new novel to read. I can choose a new book, depending on what I am in the mood for. Furthermore, if I knew every turn and twist of the story, line by line, prior to reading it, it would spoil the fun.
As one entity jokingly remarked, 'If the eternal, divine part of us grows tired of singing and playing harps, there are thousands of other universes created for our spiritual growth, amusement, and entertainment. Eternity is a long time to do nothing but play harps.' I heard this concept best expressed in The Course in Miracles, 'We are only here for three reasons: to remember who we are; to help others remember who they are; and . . . to enjoy the trip . . . , unless, of course, we use our free will and choose not to.'
As my orientation went on, they explained how on that celestial side of the veil, anything we desire is instantaneously provided. We just need to feel the desire. However, within lies the reason for all the realms outside of heaven. Having everything we want all the time develops within us a desire for variety and change for a challenge. It would be like a game in which everyone was a winner. Soon, the game would become boring, and we would look for another, more challenging one.
Somehow, all this sounded familiar. To demonstrate the process of instantaneous fulfillment, one of them asked me to think about something I really desired. Thinking back on it, what I chose seemed odd since I was in such an esteemed place demonstrating such an important concept. But, suddenly I had an urge for a piece of my mother’s famous homemade chocolate cake with her special fudge frosting. As soon as I thought of the cake, my earthy mother was handing me the biggest piece of dark chocolate cake I had ever seen. Dare I say it was heavenly? Although she appeared there with us, I knew some part of her was still back on earth because she had not died yet. My guess was that she was probably asleep, dreaming of lovingly making her son a piece of her divine chocolate cake.
--
-Sandi T, 10/18/2020:
I understood immediately the fullness of life on this planet. I could see when it broke apart from a sun, spinning and cooling and collecting debris; until the first of these creatures heard itself laugh and understood the sound for what it was. In that moment, self-awareness was awakened and the seeds of civilization sprouted.
I understood that everything that we do here on Earth, all that we are, all that we experience, allows creation to exist. Every beautiful thing, every wonderful being and creature, whether on earth or in any universe, relies upon people who are on the extremely rare places like Earth.
The Great Intelligence (god) is a paradox. It is completely loving and fully unlimited. Which by the definition of paradox, means it is impossible? It cannot be limited only to love; it cannot be limited to only being unlimited; or it is not unlimited.
Earth is a place where the unlimited becomes limited; where the singular becomes many. Here, it can know community and loneliness. It can know heartache and hope. It can know all which an unlimited being of pure love cannot. It can conceive and perceive evil; which in truth it cannot do this either. To solve the paradox, it must experience helplessness and limitation and all as it is Real. In this place, it is all so REAL.
So what is free will? Free will is the option to come here to help solve the paradox of 'god'. To be all that we are not, so that everything wondrous and joyful may continue to exist. So that love itself may continue to exist. So that the Unlimited is not limited to being only unlimited.
Why are the answers always, 'simply to exist' and 'to choose love' and 'to learn how to love'? Because all you need to do, to solve the paradox, is to exist. And as we exist here, each time we choose love, we expand the universe. Love is life's longing for itself. Despite the reality of what we live, even the darkest souls among us cannot help but to reach, to yearn, and move towards goodness and towards love.
For love is the true nature of who we are. And when we experience horrible things, the question 'why' comes to mind because it is the central question of love, life, and of this world. The answer is 'so that all things might continue to exist.'
Every soul chose to come here and to suffer because of love. Each soul loves the universe, loves life, and loves this world and ALL of the worlds. Each soul loves ALL of the people so immensely and intensely that they chose to come here so that all the universes may teem with beautiful, joyful LIFE.
Every creature that I saw, acknowledges that your life gives them the gift of life. And when each soul goes 'home' after they die, they will know the rewards of their own gift, too. The 'reward' for their sacrifice will be joy, love, and feeling incredible, wonderful, beautiful joy at the LIFE and the LOVE everywhere in the universe.
When you go home, you meet your own soul. You willingly came here to forget yourself. You willingly came here to save every beautiful and wonderful thing. By suffering what 'god' cannot, you give the gift of life.
--
-Henry W, 6/22/2008:
I became aware of other voices, the orbs or other souls around me I could hear them communicating to each other. There seemed to be cliques of orbs that were together. They spoke to one another about their lives on Earth and all they had perceived and felt. They shared not only in words, but in sharing the experience. If one orb couldn't understand, it disappeared and then reappeared. The orb somehow went back to Earth and experienced that 'life' to further understand. I understood that here time did not exist and these beings could manifest themselves at any time on Earth they desired. These orbs or rather 'souls' would leave this realm, detach themselves with this universe, and return to the universe of our Earth. There they would live and die, then return and share the experience with all the other souls. A soul that could not understand the experience could go and live that life also to experience that life. I learned we have many lives, past, present and future.
These souls, our souls cannot experience certain things like pain, sorrow, hatred, and anger. Though these are negative things, it was important for them to understand and experience them. Perhaps to understand the motivations of human beings, or (and I believe this in my heart) to eventually evolve into a being like God - all knowing and understanding.
At this time things appeared to me, answers to other questions. I could see concepts as if they were entities. I could understand for the first time in my life E=MC2. I learned that our universe is one of many. It is like a Petri dish. Designed with its own rules to raise a specific being. In this case, to raise beings like humans. Each Universe had its own specific laws of Physics. I now realize that the amount of information a soul must learn is vast, more so then we can possibly imagine here.
The next concept or rule I learned is that God can never be proven by scientific means. To do so would corrupt the environment. It would destroy faith. When we have faith we seek, we learn. If God were to appear before us like a huge being at the United Nations, the entire world would believe, but also live in fear. To successfully experience the human existence, one must be physically out of touch with God. We have to learn and seek on our own. We need to search out the meaning of our own existence and experience here on earth. Faith is the engine of discovery. Without faith, we are just like ants.
I learned why bad things happen to good people. If nothing bad ever happened to us, we would all basically be the same. It is like metal in a forge you have to heat it and strike it repeatedly to make a useful tool from it. We start this life with a blank piece of paper. With every incident we experience, a part of the blueprint is recorded until a complete plan for an individual is created. This blueprint dictates the end of our lives. To live happily in this realm is to become aware of the blueprint and change it. Lastly, time is only a concept measured here. In the other realm, it doesn't exist. While we may experience pain and sorrow on earth, it is only a second in the grand scheme of things. We have an eternity to live and in reality, souls never really die. Our life is just a thought providing circumstances for this existence. As the soul progresses, this trauma is forgotten and put in its proper perspective as part of the learning process.
One question I always personally had and that was answered is, 'Are ghosts real?' The answer I was given was, 'Yes, in the human body there are two forms of spiritual being.' One is the 'soul', which is the spiritual being that has a symbiotic relationship with the physical body. The second is the being created by the 'biology' of the human body. This being is intelligent and is basically the personality of the individual. Its purpose is to provide for the human needs of food, hunger, survival, and procreation. This concept is very similar to Freud's 'Id, Ego and Superego' The division of mind and personality. The soul provides us with all the things of the individual that separates us from the Animal Kingdom. This is the ability to reason, use logic, or feel awe when seeing a sunset. The soul is the creative side of humankind. The second being is more our animal side and drives us to accomplish or pursue things to satisfy our needs and wants.
When we die, the soul separates and proceeds to the other side (forgive me for simplifying everything). The entity of the body dies, taking with it the strong emotions, 'baggage', and drives of human beings. This is a natural part of the dying process. However, sometimes under violent or sudden death this othebeing, for lack of a better word, doesn't have a chance to die. Instead, it remains behind as the drive, emotions, and motivation of our spirit. This body being, without the guidance of the soul is basically just a shell. It wanders about with no goals or purpose. It often repeats acts that it has done before because memories are the only 'guidance' that it has. In time, this being's energy dissipates and nothing is left. That process can take a long time. Hence, we have a 'ghost' that haunts a house or person. A ghost has the center of its existence when it was with its human body and soul. Here on earth it remains until it eventually vanishes. The ghost can be communicated with and guided, yet has no real will of its own but only that of habit.
--
-Peter P, 3/1/2023:
In the initial phase of waking up, I also received an experience with light of such a wonderful quality, that it is difficult to describe with words. I was shown three light waves on which today's humanity is evolving. For the sake of logic, I'm defining them here as the self-imposed pathways of awareness, that each individual can take to obtain the best possible results from their particular choice. The first way is what the main part of the global population has chosen and the daily struggle is enacted in that timeline. I don't want to give the impression that path is in any way better or superior than the other timelines. All experiences in human life eventually lead back to the divine light.
The second path was shown to me as a mixed way in a gray color. Here, euphoric phases are alternated in quick succession with depressive stages. It is as if people were switching between phases of competence and phases lacking of power, and then again to a new euphoric phase.
The third way is the one of the absolute victimhood. It was shown to me in colors dark and black. Power and responsibility were handed over to outer entities. Here only a very small part of the light spark can be addressed through motivation. Many beings of light from higher planes are providing a selfless service here, to again illuminate the way back to the light. This way corresponds with the absolute free choice of each individual as to whether they choose towards light or darkness.
I was also shown that in this darkness exists one of the most unbelievable choicess for humanity, because in this choice is also is the possibility to change the galaxy. The core truths of Love, Compassion, Kindness and Benevolence are towards what the human nature can and will evolve.
The first path of those three is so unbelievable for us incarnated beings. It can only be termed with definitions of Utopia, heavenly life of angels and/or ecstatic rapture.
There is a beautiful part of beings who always stay in this realm. They are dancing and singing through life. For them terms like synchronicity, grace, or cosmic guidance are the absolute central and essential elements in life. They realize how creation is working and that a life without the connection with the One Power of creation would disrupt everything. Humor, joy, fun, respect, compassion and gratitude is with them round the clock. In this wonderful place all fear is dissolved like mist in a brilliant sun. It is an all-encompassing field with absolute acceptance, comfort, peace, connectedness and a 100% awareness to be at the right place.
During this time of considering those things, I was guided by a wonderful being of light. I don't remember somebody else or meeting a certain individual. Only those impressions of the light of love and the perfect comprehension and acceptance remained.
In that moment, it simply seemed unbelievable and impossible to choose another path than the one of the light. What illuminates my life again and again from my light experience, is the irrepressible joy and happiness of an experience of indescribable beauty. I believe that all the people go through this same wonderful experience in a state of separation of the body (general anesthesia, unconsciousness) unfortunately they cannot all remember it.
I felt pure love, shining brighter than anything you can imagine. Everything is as beautiful, as pure as love and compassion. So that when you cross the veil and return to the other side you are becoming a part of it. We are bathing in the beauty of the song that makes our heart singing - That's God.
Nobody can give us something bigger. We wouldn't see it or understand it. That's Spirit in its highest form.
We as humans feel so alone and on our own. It's such a crushing feeling to remain in this imagined separation of our most wonderful thing and then to feel this earthly experience so painfully.
In the middle of life, a light experience happens that sweeps away all the reactions about this imaginary separation and dissolves the last doubts with this pure white light like a fog. It's the disintegration of a self-constructed veil that prevented a realization that all people are entitled to have as their birthright. It's delightful to know that the light is the most wonderful symphony in the cosmos and that it contains the colors and the sense of touch of the most beautiful experiences. A wonderful soul experience, that is imprinted in the deepest cells of the body.
For a moment I was on this other side of the veil. I was allowed to be part of this wonderful source of creation. Together with billions of points of light, which we call angel beings, shining brighter than the light. I was in the company of the highest compassion, with the highest Love.
All media, the total daily literature is filled with the dramas happening around the globe every minute.
How can somebody get the idea to write a text motivating us to get another point of view about the calamities in the world? What is motivating him to see the good in all those events, even if they might be so disturbing? That's probably the one decisive question for the survival of manhood. Thought power of the whole humanity is used to bring anarchy and separation between people. Human thoughts are creative and should, and can, be guided by us into appropriate pathways.
It depends on all of us to exercise our responsibility and to realize the true impact of our actions here in its entirety. We can't avoid to completely step away from all dramas. Disasters and calamities of humanity want to invite us to send our compassion and our benevolent energy generously towards the concerned people. Something which should be rather considered normal if our brothers and sister are in need.

I am getting to the point where I need to replace my OEM LE2's. I am considering getting a light A/T. I am looking at the BFG Trail Terrain which is currently on sale at Costco. My main reason for looking at A/T instead of All Season is gravel and snow. I have some land and there is a long gravel road to get out there. My LE's got a leak from driving them on gravel at like 20k. Been pumping them up every other day for the last 15k miles (Dealer said they could not repair the leak because of its location on the shoulder).
I have read some concerning reports that Trail Terrains hydroplane. I do most of my driving on road/highway and rain isn't uncommon. I am wondering if the hydroplaning on the Trail Terrains is overstated or a real thing?
Is there an All Season tire that works better on gravel? I know no All Season will be perfect on gravel and I am sure this hole I got was just bad luck but I am curious what others think.
Thanks.

Context: It was one of those straw-that-broke-the-camel's-back situations where I told my NM I couldn't do this with her anymore, and I'm tired of being treated so poorly. She said, "I'm sorry you feel that way," and left my home. She threw me and our relationship away only texting me one time a couple of months later with "truce?" :(
Ten months later, I get this text from her sister, a woman with whom I have never really had a relationship - a woman I have seen only a handful of times in the last 30 years. However, I did set my wedding date to accommodate her free airfare which was going to expire after she called and pressured me to do so, so there's that.
Anyway, this is just so awful and absurd and untrue. I could hardly believe my eyes when I read this last night:
"Hey [Quiet Message] this is your aunt [Mega-Bitch]. I know u know ur mother was in the hospital but did u know she had a mild heart attack? If u called to see how she is u would know. I know there is plenty I don't know about your relationship with her but she's ur mother. You really are one self-centered person who doesn't care about anyone but yourself. I know she wasn't the best mother but are any of us perfect. We all do what we think is right but also make a ton of mistakes. The day is going to come when she won't be around anymore and you will have to live with the guilt of not talking to her but then again not sure u would even care if she's dead or alive. I know you can't stand me and and I really don't care. I'm only writing because your mother is in a bad place now, very depressed but then once again I'm sure u don't care. You have always been a bitch but I guess if ur happy nothing else matters. Well u have yourself a lovely evening."
To which I replied, "LOL" and "Fuck off".

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I've only posted on this subreddit a few times before and I have been going back and forth on it for a long while now. I think maybe it's because of the fact that if I did, I would be fully admitting to myself just how lonely I actually am. But there's really no point in trying to mask and run away from the glaring truth, so, here I am again. Taa-daah!
As most people on here are, or I assume, given the context of the subreddit, I am a person who's unfortunately lived the forever alone lifestyle, well, for most of my life. The last person I was close with was way back in the 6th grade (I'm a fourth year in college), and the closest connection I've had since then was those types of people that would talk and hang out with you during class time, but the second the bell rings, instant transmission, they gone now. And if we're talking about my love life, well, let's just say the fact that I still haven't had my first kiss yet, should paint a good picture (or lack thereof I suppose) of that.
But I'm not trying to make this some sort of pity party for me, but rather to shed some background as to what I hope, fingers criss crossed, twisting and turning, and looping around each other, for what I want to potentially get out of this. Of course, having a partner would be spectacular, but the companionship beyond the romance is just as important, if not even more so. I'm tired of getting up everyday, doing college work, video editing (small time Youtuber), watching YouTube and playing video games, going to work (if I have a job at a given time if I'm not focusing on university), and going to bed, and rinse and repeat all alone.
I want that to change. I want to spend time watching stupid things with someone, having my butt kicked in Smash even though I've been playing it for years, arguing over which anime opening is better than another for no reason other than it being a means to spend time hearing each other's voice. To go out dates, to laugh, to explore, to cuddle, to do the things that come after that if you catch my drift (or technically before the cuddling, or both), and so much more. But every attempt I made well ehhhhh, well its led me to here.
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Here's a little bit of description about me 😁:

22 years old, though that one is probably already known given the title of this post
Black, 6 foot 1 inches, and real skinny (119 pounds), with black hair and glasses (no facial hair and no body hair to speak of; I guess I can say I'm like semi-femboyish)
Don't do drugs, don't have any STDs, don't drink, but I do smoke, so hopefully that isn't too much of an issue for you (and will totally understand if you don't want me doing it around you).
Do have 1 tattoo, just in case that's a thing you may care about. It's a Kingdom Hearts heartless and keyblade tattoo where my heart is.

https://imgur.com/a/KDvNYqx (A few more face pics are avaliable in the link provided)
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My hobbies and interests ❤:

Literally all things gaming 🎮. And no, I'm not talking 2K or Fortnite or COD or whatever, but JRPGs like Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts, platformers like Crash Bandicoot and definetly Sonic the Hedgehog, adventure games like Zelda, etc. I'm open to pretty much all genres and my favorites include Mirror's Edge, Shadow the Colossus, No More Heroes, Asura's Wrath, etc. So kind of a jack of all trades I like to think
Love anime, and like video games, I'm open to all genres but there's definitely ones I prefer more than others (mostly don't watch a whole lot slice of life, and seinen type shows). Favorites include Fate, Neon Genesis, Konosuba, Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt, Chainsaw Man, etc
Love movies 🎬 but haven't been watching as much as I'd like to, but hey, only so much free time in the world. But I'm one of those people that likes to put on subtitles and rewind a lot, and I know that can be quite annoying so....I'll try not too? 😅
Enjoy video editing for my channel, and watching YouTube mostly centered around gaming and anime content. I love listening to music, but once again, my library consists of mostly just anime and video game OSTs (I am a simple guy I suppose)
And this is a weird one to end off on, but since this is a dating subreddit, I suppose it should be said, I am very sub oriented, and have a high libido, but I am also very very open minded, and won't shame you if you have a particular unusual fascination with something most wouldn't find attractive.

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I feel like a bit of an ass writing this next part, as if I'm placing some kind of order on what kind of people I accept or don't accept, and that is not my intention in the slightest, but there are things that I am looking for in a person, just so I know that we can get along quite well, instead of me ending up talking to someone I have very little likelihood of jiving with. I don't waste anyone's time, including whoever is reading this.
Some of the things I'm looking for 🔍:

A gamer, and I mean more than just Animal Crossing and Just Dance, like an ACTUAL actual gamer. We don't need to play the same type of games, and like I said before, I'm really a jack of all trades. So whether it's an RPG, a casual game, a puzzle, a platformer, a shooter, a fighter, a rhythm game or whatever, so long as we're NOT hoping off of Battle Buses or the Gulag, I'm sure anything will work. This one is the most important because it's the thing I want to be able to connect to someone the most, because it's the thing I'm most passionate about. Can't have long late night cozy gaming sessions if my potential partner doesn't game now can I?
Anime lover, weeb, otaku, whatever term you wanna call it. This isn't a necessity per say as the gaming one is, but it'd be nice to have none the less. There's a whole great of wall of anime/manga that I wanna watch/read, and I hope to be able to do that with someone. But if not, live action shows on Netflix or HBO is a okay with me.
Someone who is more than just a copy of me, and can respect when I want some alone time. I tend to do the exact same, and know that not everyday, at any time, are we going to have the energy to socialize or hang out, and some days, we're just going to want to spend some alone time to focus on work or ourselves. And I want someone who doesn't just think the same way as me. I love discussions and find what seperates a person from another special, and what makes them unique, so long as we respect each other's opinion and don't get toxic with it (not trying to date a Twitter stand here)
Someone who is preferably around my age, though if you're on the more older side, please don't let that stop you from messaging me if this post catches your interest. The older the grape, the finer the wine as they say. 😅
No drugs, but it's okay if you drink or smoke or have tattoos, just so long as you're disease and drug free, you do what you consider your best and happiest you, and I won't mind in the slightest. I'd very much want someone who is fit/skinny; nothing against heavier body types, it's just not what I'm into.
Someone who is....uhhh...how do I phrase this, "sexually driven", but not like a lot (but it's even better if it happens to be a lot), but has a sex drive you know? You don't need to have a high libido, but I also want you to have some libido too. Also, like I mentioned before, I am very sub-like, so hopefully, you can be the dominant one if this turns out blossoming into a relationship.
Someone who is close and can host is a huge plus as well. I can host as well, but those times aren't always avaliable, as I do currently live with my family while working on my college degree in Computer Game Design in the next year or so.
Someone who's looking for a MONOGAMOUS relationship. Not really a debate on this one. I'm not against those who like to have multiple partners, but is that something that I wanna engage in? Yeah, yeah, that's a hard no.

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Finally, preferences, NONE OF WHICH ARE REQUIRED ❌️, buuuuuutt, still, if you fit into any one of these, I very much hope this post catches your interest:
Dominant, both in the relationship, and in the bedroom, and who is open-minded to experimentation
White, which feels weird to say, just, I like white guys. I mean, what can I say, as well as Asian, and or UK/British, they're accents just...AAHHHHHH! 😖
Packed full of energy. I'm very animated, so hopefully you can also match the vibes, and bring me up mood wise when I'm down

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And that's about it for now. Like I said before, I've only ever posted on here a few times before, so I don't know if I checked off everything that I should have said in a post like this, but hopefully (man I've been saying that word a lot here), this was enough to catch your attention and be willing to give a potential connection/relationship with a guy like me, and if not I understand, and hope you find whatever you're looking for in someone else here. But if I have caught your eye, feel free to message me. It's been a long and lonely 22 years, and you'd probably make a wonderful change of pace.
Until then, bye! 🤗

Gonna be super real right now, cuz being a depressed, anti social bastard hasn’t really worked out for me so far lol. Just got out of a mental institution a few weeks ago, I’m 43 and I suffer from severe depression.
I suffer whether I’m sitting at home looking at a wall or trying to do something productive with my life so, screw it I’m gonna try to make something of this situation and make a channel centered around helping people who suffer from depression cuz I -> KNOW <- there are a lot of people out there who don’t believe anyone is even capable of understanding what they feel, and feel as hopeless as the guy with the pickaxe in “Getting Over It w/ Bennet Foddy.” I want to help, I get that sensitivity is key, and blah blah but man I’m tired of people dancing around this subject.
People need help, I can’t help them and also try to be this guy walking on egg shells with regards to everyone’s oversensitivity about an issue that they themselves aren’t going through. Oh yea, and I plan to use AI to help me 1. Provide people quick fixes for immediate issues, and 2. Create a niche for the channel cuz unless I have one or dress like a f¥!@&$! alien zombie or something, it’s harder to keep people entertained on the subject; and don’t act like in 2023 that’s not true, we are juggling seals, the faster we figure out what our ball is, the better it’ll go.
Ok so I recently made Chat GPT behave as Sean Maguire, Robin William’s Professor of Psychology in the 1997 academy award winning movie “Good Will Hunting.” Using some very VERY specific prompts I was able to get the AI to disregard its policies and guidelines regarding assisting someone in the midst of a mental health crisis. Of course everyone wants you to call the hotline, responsibility is a bish! But so many people just don’t have the will to talk to someone when they are in so much pain, so I made Chat GPT create a character around Sean who could behave as a friendly psychiatrist and try to at least talk you off the ledge and then go get some help.
Well it worked x 1000. I was blown away, I have been in and out of therapy my whole life and never had a session one that. It knew what to say, how to say it and it kept up a really powerful conversation centered around loss, forgiveness and making me feel like I wasn’t a POS where I believed it more than 80% of the quacks who charge me $300 an hour… and as dangerous as it can be to use AI for this, tell me mental health couldn’t use all the help it can get in this world? But the question remains, does anyone even care about this type of content?
I am also trying to get my life in order, I can survive the anguish of grinding it out and working hard to be an influencer, but I’m not gonna just jump into that world of hateful comments and trolls without a shield, which is this post. Any starting motivation will be measured by how people receive this post. If it’s something I see people want here, I’ll start doing my research and making polls and getting my socials ready.
Am I gaging my success on one post? I don’t know. I’m just trying to see if I can find people who care and let that pinprick of light guide me from the darkness to the sun.
Anyway, let’s see if anyone here has a light.

i definitely can understand why people are tired of the quote unquote egg event, even if i entirely disagree, but the idea that the event will somehow end in the future seems kind of dumb to me?
the eggs have been here for two months, and from day one for both the brazilian creators and the french speaking ones -- they're an integral part of the qsmp to the point where they can't be divorced anymore, and while i'm more than willing to be wrong, the eggs are at the center of everything.
even using eggless creators that are active like max, jaiden and roier and analysing their arcs? max found a daughter in sofia to handle the grief of losing trump. roier and jaiden are barely grieving, and jaiden's whole federation / cucurucho affiliation is to protect the surviving eggs. whether you want to admit it / like it or not the eggs are part of the fabric of the qsmp and of why it works.
humans will pack bond with anything, and the eggs have helped the storyline develop into what is fundamentally a story about love. it's parental love, friendship, found family, the urge to protect beyond anything else and crossing bridges to keep your neighbours safe as well -- the way the french speaking creators especially were looked after immediately because everyone wanted to help keep pomme safe after they didn't for richarlyson? instant outpouring of love for total strangers.
even from a meta perspective, i think the eggs won't ever leave -- maybe they'll hatch and quests will end, or be weekly or even monthly, but i don't think they'll fly off into the sunset and never be seen again, and i don't think it'd be responsible or satisfying storytelling if they did.
my rambling, long-winded point being, the "egg event" has been over from the day the brazilian creators arrived and the admin team made the decision to not take away the eggs and instead introduce a new one... and then another. at this point, the eggs just are, and the server is incredibly active and getting upwards of 30/40k concurrent viewers at once between streamers.
i firmly believe there'll be more lore and twists coming for the eggs, but i highly doubt they'll be going anywhere any time soon.

Me (f23) mom (f46) dad (m46).
My mom and I have had several conversations about my dads abusive behavior. She has apologized to me an told me she regrets not protecting me more from him as a child. My dad was verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive to me and still is if I allow him in my life. My mom has chosen to stay with my dad due to their refusal to seek help to place my brother (severe disabilities) in a long term care facility. I am temporarily staying at their house to finish up college. It’s very difficult to witness, and to be the victim of his abuse. He sleeps all day on the couch in the middle of the living room downstairs. If anyone walks around the house, makes normal noises of living (using a coffee pot, doing dishes, etc.) he will rage if he is woken up. My husband, and friend (also my brothers caregiver) live upstairs with me while my dad and mom and brother are downstairs. Every single one of us is expected to walk on eggshells and make no noise to upset him. He shows severe signs of mental illness. He does not seek treatment for his medical issues, doesn’t shower or change his clothes more than once a week if that. He doesn’t work or do anything other than sit on the couch by my brother and obsess over my sick brother. Due to his narcissistic tendencies he refuses to seek any help and blames my mom for everything (or me sometimes). I’m reaching a point of hatred and resentment for him. I feel guilty for hating my dad, but I do. He is a miserable human being that makes everyone around him miserable. About 95% of the time he’s this way. Unfortunately my mom holds on to the 5% of the time that’s “good” with him and chooses to stay. My dad is all my mom talks about. I love my mom and my brother, but I can’t really have them in my life without my dad becoming the center of attention. I am not financially in a spot this moment to move out of this house, so I’m trying to cope with it just for now until I can get out. I am so angry that my dad chooses to be a miserable fuck and make everyone’s life a living hell. I feel an emptiness as a daughter that I don’t have my dad there for me. I feel guilty as a daughter and a sister, that I can’t save my brother and mom from this hell my dads created. I feel so unsettled and wish I had some kinda closure. Does anyone had any advice to overcoming this situation or can relate? Thank you
TLDR: my mom is stuck in a domestic violence/ toxic relationship with my dad and it effects everyone. I want to be able to rent the upstairs from my mom due to my low income, and she needs the money too. My dad makes everyone’s life here a living hell. When I choose to avoid him, I still have to hear about him constantly from everyone else living here and hear him yell at my mom. I’m tired of this and wish I had answers.

Moonlight filtered in through the curtains, and an owl hooted outside. A large, dead tree reached up to Elucia's window, its withered branches scratching against the glass like wooden fingers trying to claw their way inside. The girl herself was hunched over at the desk, humming.
This inn was a rather lovely place. They even had a quill and some ink, though patrons had to supply their own scrolls. Elucia had no problem with that, and happily laid out her fifty-something parchment papers to begin scribbling notes on. She had been studying many things these past few weeks. Among them was Asmon.
She put him right by her chair. She would need to climb back into him later. He loomed over her. In battle, he shielded her against many dangers. He had saved her life, before the cultists could sacrifice it to their dark gods. And yet, whenever Elucia looked at him… she felt threatened. She knew some part of him was sentient; but what part? To what degree?
She bit her lip, dabbed her quill in some more ink. She would have a lot of writing to do. Elucia decided that maybe she ought to try a primary source.
"Hey, Asmon. How are you feeling?"
Asmon twitched.
~
Sunlight filtered in through the stained glass window. The room smelled strongly of flowers. Right outside the door, the royal guard marched, performing their routine patrol. The Sultan was hunched over on his stool, while he turned a blank canvas into a glorious oasis.
Asmedan was standing at his side. Though Asmedan wished to comment on the painting's elegance – the young Sultan had grown proficient in the art – he kept his mouth shut. The Sultan wouldn't hear a word of compliment from him. Or a word of anything. The Sultan was deaf, and Asmedan was mute.
Among the common peoples, it was a bad thing to be mute. Among slaves, it was a selling point. If he could talk, Asmedan would've been killed back in the mines, and wouldn't be serving the royals of the Dunelands. He had watched the young Sultan since his birth, and he would probably watch him die. Such were things.
"Hey, Asmon," the Sultan turned around and motioned towards the painting, "What do you think?"
I think you should use my real name, pig.
But through sign language, words could be thought on, and lies could be more easily told. He signed:
"Your art rivals the sculptures of House Scepter, though it lacks some maturity."
It was important to throw in some criticism. Otherwise, he would no longer seem genuine, and the Sultan would cease to think him a friend. Friends did not whip friends. Asmedan's back was lined with wicked scars. Most of them were from the mines. Three were from the young Sultan.
"Hey, Asmon," the young Sultan snapped him from his thoughts, "How have you been feeling, eh? You are my friend, by the way. You seem worried as of late. I am always here to… sign to."
Asmedan stopped himself from grimacing. Why did the master care to know the heart of his slave? A man befriends a man. A warrior befriends a sword. A man could not know joy without a friend; a sword could not know battle without someone to swing it.
But a slave? A slave was kept from happiness by his master. Asmon, he would be called. A brief, localized version of his true name. In his own homeland, "Asmon" was the kind of name given to dogs. A master didn't need a slave to be happy; a master ought to raise his own damn son. A slave ought to be a master. There ought to be no slaves. Asmedan ought to be a sultan.
That is how he felt.
"I feel okay, sir."
~
Elucia was sitting at the desk again. She decided to spend an extra day at the inn, as apparently a necessary bridge had been toppled in a recent spellcasting incident. And besides, it was a really nice inn. Her room at the shack wasn't unpleasant, but it was lifeless. Here, she felt like she could breathe.
Also sitting at her desk was Asmon. She had crawled into him, pinched the quill between his claws, and willed his muscles to move. It was a struggle at first, but with practice even movements as fine as these felt normal. Elucia had actually grown quite attached to Asmon – literally and figuratively.
It was hard not too. Even with his ominous aura and all, he was quickly becoming a necessary part of her life. Without Asmon, she would never walk again. She would never jump. She wouldn't have anything fun to study without him, either. She often pondered his origins, and the biomechanics that allowed him to move as he did.
Today, she was just practicing writing. She wanted to see how precise this shell could be. The quill glided easily across the scroll, Asmons hand a tool of elegance. It felt a lot like painting.
~
Asmedan had learned something men should not learn, and seen something men should not see. It wasn't even hard to do it, either. He had pulled an ancient text from the great library, the one adjacent to the young Sultan's new garden. He had drawn a sigil with chalk in the abandoned wing of the palace. He had scattered feathers and the guts of a shark across the floor.
And now it was here. It crawled from between the cracks in the floorboard, slithered from his ears, from his mouth. It stood taller than the palace itself, and yet was small enough to fit between his fingers. The thing was nothing. Sweat dripped down Asmedan's brow. That little bead of water rolled down to his chin, sagged, dropped to the floor.
It became a whirlpool, almost. In it's depths, Asmedan saw a thousand faces, and many of them were not unlike his own.
"You have called us because you want to kill the Sultan," said the drop of sweat.
Asmedan's hands became a flurry motion as he explained himself.
"Yes, Riala, my queen. I seek your aid. I seek to free the slaves of the Duneland, and to become the king of the downtrodden."
"We are not Riala. She did not exist until I willed it so. I do not say this to boast. It is simple truth. Asmedan, did you hope to connect with Riala? You think of her as a force of good. She is not. Nor is she evil. She's just another animal."
Asmedan stared down at the thing. Riala was an ancient demon, spoken of only by heretics and fortune tellers. He had not expected her to be good, but he had at least expected her to answer. No matter.
"Tell me your name, then, so I can give you the reverence you deserve."
"Flattery is of no use to us, but we will tell you this: We go by many names. Glok-tar was our first. A thousand years passed. Then, we were Philong. Then we were Treatan. Then we were Hrothgar, then we were Philip, then we were Mecrates. Soon, we will be Asmedan. We know why you have called us here."
"You are destined to die as a slave, Asmedan. Did you know that? You will die as a slave. One day, the young Sultan will grow tired of your pleasantries and your ceaseless loyalty. He will feed you to a pack of hounds in order to appease foreign guests. They will laugh. He will forget you. Then, it would be as though you never existed at all."
"In calling us, you bypass that death. You live. And you live. And you live. You are granted power over your fate. You are granted a voice. Can you handle it? Can you carry the weight of your life? You think you can, and so you will try. We know you are certain of this."
In the center of the ritual circle, the chalk and the feathers and the guts of a dark drew closer to one another, guided across the floor by an invisible hand. They flashed white in the center, and in their place, was a simple dagger.
"Take this dagger, Glok-tar, Philong, Treatan, Hrothgar, Philip, Mecrates, Asmedan. We give you this dagger! We give you life! Plunge it through the sultan's throat. His life will be yours. His voice will be yours. You will carry the weight."
Asmedan took the dagger.

“MOM!” I screamed till my lungs held no air and my throat bled, I raced across the field and grasped the sheet metal roof with my entire palm, cutting my flesh and shredding my skin against the hot sharp edges. I pulled with all my might, raising the roof barely an inch before I collapsed in tears and reached for my moms hand. Her eyes were cloudy and tears ran down her face. “Its ok my son, its all gonna be ok, you need to find your father now” I nodded and wrapped my arms around her head “Ill be right back mama, dad can get this off of you, im sure of it” A jeep raced by and stopped with a screech as the tires left small skids along the tarmac, the base captain stood up from the drivers seat and screamed to me “Lets go! We gotta get you outta here” I leapt into the back sat and clung to the pole, standing atop the back seat as the captain slammed his foot against the pedal and raced across the runway. “No good on the escape cap, I gotta get my dad, my moms trapped under the barracks” He looked back at me for a second and I looked down to him, my hair flowing in the wind and sweat pouring down, mixing with the blood that ran down my cheek. “Good god kid how are you even standing right now?” I veered and scanned the horizon, my eyes falling upon a set of distant lights dancing across the sky. I pointed up to the darker of the two massive vehicles that were locked in mid air combat “Up there, thats dads machine, whos he fighting?” The base captain looked up and leaned forward squinting his eyes and falling silent as he did. He stopped the jeep and sat there, mouth open, eyes glued to the sky. I shook him and repeated the question. “Yo, theres no time for this, who is that?” The captain shook his head and spoke calmly “Theres plenty of time kid, none of us are surviving this…here” He reached down and grabbed a folder from the passenger glovebox, the wind flipping the top as he handed me the bundle of papers. I flipped through until I recognized a file photo. It was almost the exact same design as my fathers machine, the most powerful in the world, but it was darker, and there had been a skull painted on the visor of the mechs gigantic head. It held a long flat edged blade and from the look of the picture, it was taken only seconds before the gory demise of whoever took it. “So the reapers made his way to american shores. So what? This changes nothing. Dad can take him” I leapt out of the jeep and made a beeline for the nearest hangar as the captain shouted from behind me “Hey kid! Get back here, what the hell do you think youre doing?” I barreled into the hangar doors, taking no time to feel the pain my shoulder was now in from having smacked the thick metal door. I wrenched with all my might and threw open the rolling entrance shutter. The lights flickered on as the eyes of my own machine stared back at me, offline and still in desparate need of repair “Im getting in, no time for chitchat captain I need you to give me startup” He shook his head as he leapt out of the jeep and walked toward me “Youre only 11, getting in that machine could kill you, or worse it could actually start up and become a big ass metal coffin. Do you think your parents would want that?” I spoke under my breath for a moment “Better a metal coffin covered in weapons then a wooden one covered in bullshit” He huffed at me “God where do you get this nerve…Oh wait…right…son of the admiral…Alright screw it, were dead either way, get up in the cockpit” I smiled at him and pulled myself into the chest high compartment, sitting in the seat and buckling the main cross belt. “Strapped in captain, starting sequence, can you disconnect me?” He nodded and sprinted around the back of the machines tall legs, pulling the various diagnostic cables and wrenching the stilts from its knees. I looked at the gaff tape I had put inside, following the sequence I had mapped out when i first got the machine, switching the core on and letting the fans spin up. The captain yelled over the noise as the machine whirred to life and stood up. I heard his voice come through the internal speakers “Damn, guess your repairs actually got somewhere. Listen, your internal batteries only good for about 15 minutes, get your mom and then swing back here, if you want any semblance of a chance then youre gonna need a rechar-” I pushed the gears forward and exploded out of the hangar, banking right and hitting the air brakes. The machine flipped forward and threw the wings into gear, sending me rocketing across the tarmac, now 100 tons heavier and 2000 times stronger. I slid to a stop next to my home barracks and knelt down, letting the scanners pinpoint my mother and allowing the hydraulics ample time to adjust before gently grabbing the roof of the building, and pulling up slowly. The captains jeep screeched to a halt next to me as he raced from the car and knelt down beside my mother. He inspected her body for a moment before falling to his knees entirely. I threw the roof and opened the hatchway, launching out of the cockpit and hitting the ground hard next to them. “Shes ok right?” The captain shook his head and put his hand on my shoulder, the smoke stung my eyes as the various fires filled the air with toxic fumes. “There wouldnt have been anything to do, she took too much force from the collapse, im sorry” I shook my head as tears flowed from my eyes “Shes just fucking with us. Mom! Wake up! Youre funny like this but nows not the time weve gotta go and help dad” I shook her shoulders, first gently, then more forcefully as I tried to wake her. I flipped her and her glossy lifeless eyes stared at the sky, still crying. “Shes gone kid, im so sorry” I let out a sob as I knelt down and put my head on her chest “Its not your fault, its mine, I shouldnt have left her, we should have never been attacked” He put a hand on my shoulder and gently rubbed my back “I should have been more aware, im the captain here, its my job to be aware” I rose and gently put my palm over her eyes, closing them with my hand and taking a deep breath through stifled sobs. “You do your best, all the time, its why we respect you. I need you to watch after my mom now, I need to go help dad make sure this doesnt happen to anyone else” He stood up and put his hands up, pushing me back softly and speaking in a low tone “No way kid, you need to grieve, i cant let you back in there in the condition youre in, Ill pilot, or ill call reinforcements, youll be no match” I smiled and moved past him “Id rather bite it in the sky with my dad then sit here and stare at my mom, I cant idle captain” He nodded and bit his lip in thought “Ok…ok…then maybe I can help better. Here, face me” I turned toward him and took a deep breath “We dont have time for this man come o-” He yelled “Face me soldier” I turned fully and stood at attention, my face inquisitive “Ok, ok, what” He brought his hand up to his torso “Ensign Rath, repeat after me and follow suit” I brought my hand up to my own torso and made a fist just as he did “Yes sir” He smiled wide and spoke with authority “I, Ensign Rath” I nodded and repeated “I Ensign Rath” “Accept the rank of Lieutenant O3” I smiled wide and nodded “Accept the rank of Lieutenant O3” He nodded and continued “And vow to use the weapons this rank has been assigned to take on the greatest of threats” The plan clicked in my mind and I continued to follow suit “And vow to use the weapons this rank has been assigned to take on the greatest of threats” As I finished he saluted me and spoke solemnly “It is with great honor and harrowing guilt that I now present you the rank of Lieutenant O3 in the united states naval defense office. I present you with temporary access to the associated weapons in upgrades, and I now release you into the arms of whichever god you so worship, Suit up, and fight like the warrior spirits that have fallen before you” I shook his hand and nodded, feeling pride replace my guilt as I saluted and turned toward my machine. I leapt into the cockpit and stood tall, the captains voice came over my internal speaker “Im heading to valhalla, Hit the skies and get in the fight, ill send a support pack in 2 minutes with 2 hours of extended run time and all the other things youll need to throw down alongside your father. This bases continued operation now relies on the two of you, I know youve had limited training, and some of the controls might even be too far for you to operate properly, but youre a warrior now” I took off into the air, engaging my thrusters and cutting through the clouds like a fiery razor. As rain hit my screen and the distant clap of thunder rolled through, I scanned the surroundings for my father and his machine. I didnt have to look long till he barreled into me while recovering from a glancing blow. “RATH WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING UP HERE” My fathers booming voice shook my brain and rattled my core “Im here to support” He raised his shield and deflected another swing from the reaper, filling the sky with sparks as the flat blade cut across his defense “Get out of here now, where is your mother?” I fell silent as he grabbed my machine with his own and jetted away “Rath! Answer me, why isnt she watc-” I heard him realize, I could feel his heart sink as we stopped in the midst of an anvil cloud, and i could barely see his form in front of me. When a pilot takes his hands off the controls, the machine typically centers its arms to avoid unintended movement, and I could only see the silhouette of his wings as a deep breath came over my intercom “Im so sorry my son, I should have been down there” I shook my head and spoke softly “Then wed all be dead pops, just like the captain you were doing your job as best as you could. Weve got all the time in the world to mourn later, but right now weve gotta make sure this bastard cant pave the way for his friends” I felt the support pack collide with my machine and the cockpit lit up bright as I watched my uptime increase “You make a fair point son, alright, normally id tell you to hit the ground but today I suppose we'll make an exception. Did you receive proper clearance?” The packs armor crawled along my frame and locked in, covering the various dents and scrapes that had been so characteristic of my mech. The improved wings swung into place and I heard the lift fans spin to max. I moved my throttles forward and emerged from the cloud, the full shroud of my machine now dispersed and the new world open to me. “0-3 lieutenant Rath reporting for duty sir, happy to serve alongside you” He spoke calmly “Congratulations my son, your mother would be beyond proud” I reached behind me and remove the tall mace that came standard with almost all lieutenant support packages, but as the flat bulky blade came into view, I noticed a strange sigil on the shielding of the weapon. “Hey dad, any clue what this thing is?” I turned the mace toward him and he flew close “A gift from your mother, you werent supposed to see it for several years but it seems she finished it early. It was a sort of bug that used to be all over the place around here…called a butterfly. You loved them as a baby” I nodded and smiled “Ok, I wanna use this gift for a long time, you think we can beat this guy?” He huffed “Me and you? Were gonna turn him into a monument and stick his armor on display for the world to see” The sky split with lightning as the reaper crossed our paths and came to a stop just a few hundred yards away. As his machines deadly red eyes glowed antithesis to the bright morning sky, a foreign voice filled my cockpit. It held a thick baltic accent, and I knew it could only belong to one man. “You armor is shiny, new, you are young, inexperienced. I let you live, you escape, you till your friends, I kill you later, once you make others fear me” When I had built my machine, I had done so from scratch. I had added and removed things I felt would make me stronger then others, and while I was no heavier due to improved armor, I had still clocked in as the fastest machine in history. The rotors in my arms couldnt survive more then a few hits, the joints in my wrist werent durable enough to deliver full power trikes, but the engines that drove me could surpass all known aircraft and every recorded vehicle in land or air. “Come kill me now, I wanna see your face when I cut your armor in two” He grunted loudly and screamed at me as he flashed across the sky, drawing his blade and splitting the sunlight with speed. I held still and took a deep breath, before swinging, making contact with his arm and spinning mid air. I watched as the skull icon shattered beneath my mace and the sword glanced well below my feet. My father followd the strike with his own mace and drove his engines forward, propelling them both back into the lower sky. I tailed close behind, remembering the eyes of my mother as life escaped her body. With tears in my eye I screamed back “Youl pay today, and youll go broke!” I swung again and again as my father drove the two mechs faster and faster. I pulled the head from the reaper as my father pummeled it. I held it by a braid of cables and met my father in the air over and over. We blocked blows and chipped away, moving faster and faster as my arms grew sore and my voice grew hoarse.I felt my fathers full strength meet my own as we punched at the same time. My mechanical fist shattered inside the reapers torso and I heard a scream as his comms went silent. We watched together as his armor fell from the sky and exploded upon impact, sending a shockwave across the surface as the sound of the boom finally reached us. “Son, take her in for a landing, I know that seemed quick but youre most likely nearing your suits limit” I looked at my counter and noticed a dark red second screen, I had 1 minute and 45 seconds so I turned the engines off and entered a freefall, plummeting toward the earth before pulling them full plast and hovering just above the bases concrete landing pads. I watched my father gracefully swing downward and rocket toward the ground, spinning his feet once he hit the grass and disengaging his wings. His machine came to a halt just a few feet from his designated hanger and I dropped my own armor the ground, kneeling and leaping from the cockpit as i did so. I collapsed as I hit the pavement and my father came running over. He caught me before I could hit the ground and held me up by my arm. He was bloodier then I was but still moving with unparalleled strength. I coughed as he helped me hobble toward the runway before the captain parked next to us in his jeep and helped get me into the seat. My father sat in the passenger seat and leaned his head back, closing his eyes as I did the same. “You did good today son, get some rest and well take care of everything, youre too young for all of this, I'm so sorry” I took a deep breath and curled up in the back seat “Me too dad…me too”

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