Uncaught referenceerror: react is not defined

Happy world bipolar day!

2023.03.30 12:39 Present_Ad3918 Happy world bipolar day!

If you had to tell the world how it is with bipolar how would you tell everyone? Sending love to all who are really struggling with things at the minute. I too am struggling but this forum has helped me massively. It’s an extremely draining and challenging condition but one that I’m determined to not define me as a person any more.
submitted by Present_Ad3918 to bipolar [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 12:37 Bidibidi123 How to get over my (27f) best friend (28m) after realizing and implementing my non-negotiable boundary.

My (27f) best friend (28m) did something rude and never apologized. We have been close friends for 10 years and absolute besties since 2019, without any double intention. My problem was not only the lack of consideration towards me with his actions, but the way he reacted about it the next couple of days.
I had to take a trip for an event. We decided to take a road trip with his other female bf. I constantly asked them if they were not going to bail (I had a feeling) and explained through the weeks the opportunities I was closing because I was going with them, (sharing rooms with other people, buying flight tickets) and that I couldn’t go if they canceled afterwards because of the price. He kept assuring they would go. He officially canceled 10 days before the event. He only told me, not because that was the day they decided they were no longer going to go, they made that decision at least 2 weeks in advance, but because I asked something very specific. Even the day before he told me we could take his car, knowing they would cancel.
After that. I was upset of course, sad and stressed cuz I thought I wouldn’t make it to the event (it ended up costing me and extra $1000 than it would have costed if he had told me 2 weeks in advance. And that’s basically 2 months salary for me). I kept trying to have a conversation with him, and he would just blew me off. I told him I was considering rude the way he was responding (only using stickers, and basically nothing other than “I love you, do you love me? I can’t lose one of my 2 best friends”, or a “don’t get mad at me”. no real response or conversation.) he just responded with more stickers and a “I like responding this way”. Because he texted twice, “don’t get mad at me” I explained how I felt and that I wasn’t mad at him, I wanted the best for him and his decision made sense, but I was upset because he knew and decided to lie which was going to make it impossible or increasingly expensive for me, so I was sad and disappointed. His response? “Don’t get mad at me” So I’m the one fucked by his actions, I’m the one having a bad time, I was still trying to be considerate and calm him that our friendship wouldn’t be affected, without any reciprocation. It got to a point I sent him an audio, and he ignored it and never responded. In that moment I decided not to reach out again. I stopped trying to have a conversation with someone who clearly didn’t want one. 3 weeks passed. No message from him. Then he sent me a sticker. If it had been a “hi” I would have responded, but it wasn’t. A week passed by. He texted my name. I immediately replied. He texted that he missed me and his life and phone has no meaning without my messages. I told him he was the one who ignored me, I just stopped trying to have a conversation with someone who didn’t want one. He responded with stickers. I told him he wasn’t considerate towards me and it was clear he still wasn’t being. Next day he responded: “how are you still mad” Which again. I explained I wasn’t mad, but his constant lack of respect and consideration during that time made me reconsider. Which he replied I should get over it.
Again, he never even apologized or asked me how was I doing. I am calmed with my decision of not reaching out for him and changing the priority he had in my life (I’ve never blocked him, if he needs anything, I’m still here for him). I feel my decision doesn’t come from ego or anger, but out of love for myself. Which is a big deal for me cuz I’ve always been more of an anxious attachment type of person.
My problem is that ever since that last text, I keep running conversation scenarios in my head, which is ridiculous and unnecessary. I keep thinking how I would respond if he decided to reach out again. A part of me is hoping he apologizes, but I’ve realized he is incapable of recognizing his mistakes, and having an “uncomfortable” serious conversation, so that won’t happen. So, how to get over a friendship? How cut off those redundant thoughts?
submitted by Bidibidi123 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 12:32 KittenDealinMama I don’t know how to tell my dad that my step mom hates me (New Update)

This is a new update on a story that has been shared here previously.
Originally posted by u/unfair_impact_1400 in relationship_advice on July 21, '22, updated August 8th, September 5th.
Newer updates, marked with 🔴🔴🔴, on Sept 27th, Dec 2nd, Dec 6th, Dec 28th and Jan 31, '23.
I (17m) don’t know how to tell my dad (32m) that my step mom (37f) hates me
Original
Hey this might be long one I’m sorry. There is a TLDR at the bottom. I really don’t know what to do about my situation and I don’t have anyone close to give me advice so I thought here I can maybe get some advice. I have an amazing dad who raised me since my mom passed away when I was 5 years old. He is my friend, my supporter and someone who I want to be like when I grow up.
When my dad first introduced my step mom to me I was 10 years old and she was very nice to me and he looked so happy that we met and hoped we could get along. They got married when I was 13 and I was so happy that me and my dad had a new member in our family. I thought me and SM were getting along until I think a few months after their honeymoon she told me one morning that we just need to pretend to like each around my dad but when he is not here that I shouldn’t bother her, honestly this shattered me but I agreed cause I didn’t know what else to do.
After that day whenever it was just me and SM she would say things to get to me and I would just not say anything. I’m introverted and don’t like confrontation so I just took it and thought overtime she would get over it but it got worse. She would talk about my height and weight and say I was funny looking version of my dad. I hoped my dad would notice but he didn’t, he actually thinks me and SM are so close and she understands me. He looks so happy with her that i maybe its worth not saying anything and giving it time.
This year my SM has started picking on me around my dad and he has either joined in or ignored it. I have voiced that what she says makes me uncomfortable and hurts but my dad says she is teasing and doesn’t mean it to hurt me. Well right now I’m at my ends and I’m scared I’m angry, frustrated at my SM and my dad. Dad was away for work and it was just me and SM at home, she had a party at home with a couple of her friends. I helped set the house up and cook dinner cause dad asked me to help out which was fine. After they ate and just hung out they were hanging out on the porch when I heard SM and her friends talk very loud outside my window while I was in my room. SM friends talked about how lucky SM was to have a nice husband and a house, when they mentioned how nice it was that I cooked for them SM told them that I was annoying and weird and she hated me and living with me and couldn’t wait till I was 18 to kick me out. I was shocked that she hated me that much but I didn’t know why? tbh I thought we were tolerating each other but to hate me I must of done something but I can’t think of what I did
I’ve been kinda down since that day which was 2 weeks ago and I thought I was pass the initial feelings but at rugby training today I bursted into tears and my coach sent me home so I drove to a beach and cried I was feel so much I honestly can’t describe my emotions, I eventually fell asleep in my car, now I’m here hoping I can get advice on how to talk to my dad about it, cause I’m scared about how he will react. I don’t want my dad to be sad cause he does so much for me but I’m not strong like him, I’m really struggling.
My question is, How can I approach this conversation with my dad about my SM hating me? Or should I tell him at all?
TLDR I heard my SM tell her friends she hates me, and I want to tell my dad about it but don’t know how.
Edit: someone questioned my dads age and I’m sorry but it was supposed to be 42 but I can’t change it sorry
Thank you everyone that provided advice and kind words, It means a lot to me I have read every comment and have an idea on how to approach this situation. Im honestly terrified of the outcome being negative but the encouragements and support are making this a bit easier to deal with.
I am going to talk to my dad on Sunday and show him this post, I hope it goes well and I hope all of you stay safe and take care.
Edit 2: I’m not sure what I am able to do what I planned cause Amy just took my car keys away and she wants my phone but I won’t give it to her so she is waiting for my dad to take take it off me because apparently I’m doing drugs but I told her I’m not I’ve been at the beach. Im not sure but I just want it to stop cause I can’t handle it I’m sorry
1st UPDATE:
Ok so my post was locked but hopefully it’s ok now I’ve posted the link and tried my best with spacing (I’m on mobile) if I can’t post it I give up
For all the support and advice received, I really appreciate and wholeheartedly so grateful for all who dm me to see how I was, thank you.
This will be long cause a lot has happened but many things are still not resolved. TRIGGER WARNING i will mention self harm, so please if it might trigger you pls don’t read further
I wish I was able to say I followed the advice that was provided and now everything is better but some things in life don’t play the way we want it to and we can either let it destroy us or make us better.
After writing my edit where my SM was taking my things away and assuming I was on drugs I started recording on my phone and she said a lot through the door, many things about my mom and me, and just plain hateful words that I don’t want to repeat on here. I fell asleep while I was barricading the door with my body when my dad demanded me to open the door, at this point I don’t remember much of what happened but my SM told me I had to leave the house and my dad agreed. I didn’t know who to call but I decided to call my coach and he picked me up, and I was a crying mess. He didn’t ask any question but just told me that I was safe and if I need to talk he was here for me, I stayed over one night when the next day, dad picked me up, SM was not at home when we got there. Dad told me we needed to talk.
We had breakfast and my dad spoke to me about many things my SM told him and I couldn’t believe all the lies she told him. It was a long talk but in summary it was:
My use of drugs and alcohol
How I disrespect her in our home
I don’t do my responsibilities like chores at home
I’m nasty to her when Dad is not around
He asked me why I was acting like this and if I had a problem with SM I should’ve spoke to him. I let him talk and when he was crying and asked if I had anything to say. I was so lost for word I knew whatever I said my dad was on my SM side. So I told him I wanted him to watch the recording of the incident that I can send through as an email attachment and the link to my reddit post and than we can talk more, I also said I didn’t want to be here when he was reading and watching so I’ll go for a drive and he can txt me when he’s done and ready to talk. He was hesitant at first but I told him it was important to me so he agreed and I left in my car to the beach and sent the email with the video attached and the link to my reddit post.
I don’t know how long I waited but many thoughts were going through my head, I was missing my mom so much and what if my dad still sided with my SM what can I do now? I fell asleep at the beach spot and was woken up by a police officer knocking on my car door and asking for my name, after confirming my name he advised me to get out my car and to hand over my keys to him and to follow him to his car, he handcuffed me and assured me that I wasn’t in trouble but this was a welfare check cause someone made a call that I was possibly suicidal, I didn’t talk after he told me that and all I remember was just crying. He made me sit in the back of the police car until the ambulance came and they took me to the hospital. I was asked many questions and was evaluated and was told I was depressed and may have extreme anxiety. The physician did say I might have other things but will require further testing and some sessions with a psychiatrist.
My dad came and visited me while in hospital and when I saw him he looked really tired. When he spoke it sounded like he was crying and he told me he called the police on me because the video recording I did, he heard everything my SM said but he also saw my cuts on my thighs and was scared and thought the worst. Honestly I never watched the video so I didn’t know my thighs were visible.
After our cry we spoke about a few things. I told my dad that I don’t feel comfortable living with SM after everything she said and done to me over the years, and I’m not sure I can handle being around her cause I don’t trust her. We spoke about arrangements and knowing my dad still loves my SM and I didn’t want him to choose between us, i told him that I could talk to Coach if I could stay with him, and after calling him he agreed. I’ve also been admitted to an agency that will support me cause I am mentally unwell. I have been to 1 session and waiting on another evaluation to be done on me and some testings with my GP so they can diagnose me.
I’m currently staying with my rugby coach who has been an amazing pillar. He has set out some house rules but I respect the fella and don’t mind following them. My coach even set a date next week for me and dad to catch up on. My coach is an awesome dude, I thought of him as just a coach who just wanted our rugby team to win but when he allowed me to stay over he showed so much care for me and I saw a side to him and understand how much he cares for my team, he has a lovely wife but I’m kinda anxious whenever it’s just me and her at their house.
That’s it right now, my dad lives at home with my SM and is trying to sort that out. I have many appointments to get the help I need and alot of school work to catch up on and rugby trainings to attend. I’ve taken a leave of absence from my maccas job. I’m gonna miss going to the beach for a while but I understand that it’s not a forever thing so I hope that the next time I go there I’m not crying my eyes out. Im kinda working on being ok if my dad and SM after those of you who shared your similar experiences, some day I’ll be ok.
Thank you all who advised me and encouraged me. Those who reached out through DM, thank you for the kind words and reaching out. I’m not sure if I’ll update again but maybe I’ll let you know if something happens in the future.
Take care everyone, also be kind to one another and most of all be kind to yourself cause you deserve it
TLDR i showed my dad my reddit post and recording of my SM being verbally abusive and now I’m staying at my coaches house trying to sort out my mental health
2nd Update I (17m) don’t know how to tell my dad (42m) that my step mom (37f) hates me
Hope everyone has been doing well.
I wasn’t going to update at all but many who reached out shared there stories and kind words it truely helped me. I wish I was able to reply but so many things were happening and I’m sorry. This will be a long one but it’s because this will be the last time I hope.
In my last post my coach sorted out time for me and my dad to catch up weekly I have met up with my dad twice and this is how it went
First catch up at the beach
We spoke and I told him alot about what happened between me and his wife. I mention how she would treated me when he wasn’t there, what she spoke to me after they got married and how she was awful to live with. I told him how I dealt with it for his sake cause I wanted him to be happy. I mentioned to him that I spoke with coach about staying there until I go to university and than I’ll move away cause I cannot live with his wife anymore cause I’m not sure what ill do. I’m never going to try and get along with her anymore. He listened and was crying and asked if I would ever get over this. I told him no and I never wanted to see his wife and walked off cause I was pissed off at what he said and drove back to the coaches house.
He messaged me later I was acted like a kid, and I responded Cause I am a kid.
2nd Catch up Dinner at the coaches house
Second catch up my coach invited my dad to have dinner and hang with me (my coach has a pool table in his man cave and a pool) I was excited to hang and catch up with my dad even after our last meet up cause I was feeling a bit better, but at the same time I was feeling anxious about the meet up like I had a bad gut feeling, but I ignored it. Dinner went great and me, dad and coach had fun playing pool, later on that night coach gave us space to talk.
Dad talked about my mom and me as a kid, just things he would tell me when I was a kid and it was just me and him, it was fun and I really enjoyed our time together. When it was time to go home I offered to drop him off since he drank but he said his wife was here to pick him up so I hugged him and he went I kinda stayed in the garage and waited for her to leave so I could walk in the house but I heard her say “How’s the little shit?” And I bolted out the door and told her to fuck off, boy was I not ready for the slap my dad gave me but all I remember was swinging a punch at him and knocking him down and my coach pulling me off my dad.
My coach told my dad and his wife to leave. After they left I told my coach I never wanted to see him again and txted my dad we were done.
It doesn’t end there.
Last week I planned to not go to school on Friday and go for a drive up the line with a few team mates to just get away from everything, they ended up bailing so I went by myself. I ended up driving to a lake and parking up and just chilling for the school day and just drive back home later on. When I got home at my coaches house I saw my dads car parked in the driveway and thought I would have to square up with my dad. When I parked up my dad ran out the house and looked like shit, he looked like he cried for days and he started hitting my car screaming to get out the car and tell him where I was the whole day. I thought he was mad that I wagged school so he ripped the door open and hugged me so hard and cried, I had no idea what was happening or what he was saying but all could understand was I’m sorry and I love you.
After what felt like forever he kinda calmed me down and I asked him why was he here, and than he told me there was an accident with a kid getting hit by a train, and it clicked my dad thought it was me. He said when he heard the news he called the school and they said I was a no show and called everyone he could think of, my mates said I went for a drive somewhere but didn’t know where and my dad said he lost it.
He calmed down eventually and said he would divorce his wife if I wanted him to but I told him, he needed to choose that for himself cause the reason I stayed quiet was to make him happy, if he is unhappy to make a choice for himself cause I don’t want to be the reason he is unhappy and that now I have to look after myself and that is getting away from her and he cried and just said more sorry’s.
He ended up sleeping over in the same room as me that night and the night after cause I think he was scared and just trying to deal, I was ok with it and coached allowed it
He left after the weekend to sort himself out back at his home. I told him that where I am is good for me and to not worry and that I’ll turn off Do Not Disturb on my phone so I could see txts.
That’s pretty much it really, I don’t know what my dad is going to decide to do with his wife but I am definitely not ever going to associate with her, ever in the foreseeable future. I love my dad too much to stop seeing him but he knows my boundaries since I’ve set them out clear as day and he knows as much as I love him I will cut him off if I feel like it’s not for me. I’m moving pass what happened between me and my dads wife for me cause I’m tired of letting her beat me in my mind so I just gotta work on me.
I’m currently happy staying with my coach and his wife, they have been amazing and have shown me so much love. They have awesome kids who I have met and they have invited me to they family Christmas. I feel bad that I feel anxious when I’m around coaches wife but I’m working on it with my therapist and I have a good support system. I know I want to go to University but not sure if I want to study Commerce or Law, but I know i am on track with my studies, I just can’t afford to skip anymore school.
Thank you to everyone who sent messages of support and reached out to share your experiences. Y’all gave me the strength to believe I could get out of this mess and be ok.
And if you ever feel down that there is help out there for you no matter where you are in life. I’m glad I shared on Reddit cause I’ve learnt so much about me and many things I won’t forget and teach to my kids.
Now I gotta go school
Take care and cheers
🔴🔴🔴
OOP posted in mom for a minute on Sept 27, '22 about turning 18 (can't repost from this sub)
Dec 2nd TrueOffMyChest
I hate that my current reality is that I don’t have people I can rely on right now in my life
I am trying to do the best to survive and better my current situation.
I’ve had so much happen to me this year and I feel like I can’t afford to take time for me, to catch a break or else I’ll lose what I currently have which is not much.
I know I’m young and have so much to look forward to but it’s hard, like so hard to want to carry on when so much shit is going wrong.
I’m trying to find a place to stay even a flatmate situation to be more independent but I can barely afford anything. My job offered me a better paying position at the expense of full time bourse and even though I would love more money that means I will have to give up my dream to go university.
I know many people have had worse situations and honestly I don’t know how they found the will and help they got. It really feels like the world just hates me and I know I’m feeling sorry for myself but I honestly giving up hope
Deleted, Dec 6th in momforaminute
What can I get the family I’m staying with for Christmas?
Dec 28th in advice
I (18m) feel indifferent about catching up with my Dad (42m) I (18m) have a strained relationship with my Dad (42m) . A lot has happened this year between us and it really ruined our relationship. He was my best friend, would be there for my rugby matches and push me to do my best.
Earlier this year I had a fall out with my step mom and my dad which caused me to move out of my home and in with my Coach (37m) who I call uncle; I have been here ever since.
We did try to mend our relationship but harsh words were exchanged and I stopped reaching out and focused on passing my exams. I have worked hard on myself by working at my job and helping out at the place I’m staying. I have made some sort of peace about my situation and focusing on my future.
Now my dad reached out last night to meet up with him to hang and we planned it for next year on the 4th of Jan, I agreed and that was that. My uncle talked to me about what me and my dad spoke about, he is kinda worried about my feelings about meeting my dad because of my feelings towards the day. I explained the best I could, is that I just feel indifferent about my dad right now. I am not excited nor scared about this meeting, I just see it as a date I’ll be seeing him and that’s it. Whether we meet up or not I’m not bothered by it at all.
My uncle and his wife care a lot and have done so much for me so I care about what they say. They think I should have a reason to meet up with him since I haven’t spoken to him in a while and worried I could get hurt. Should I have a different mindset towards the catch up with my dad?
TLDR: Dad planned a catch up next year for me and him, we had a fall out so my uncle thinks that I should be feeling something but I feel indifferent.
A commenter asks how it went
Reply on Jan 31, 23
Ok this reply took a while because I wasn’t ready to share but I’m ok for now.
My dad turned up with SM and told me that they were having a kid, I congratulated them and we spent time talking about my future and dad telling me he can pay for my university studies as long as I keep my grades up. We spoke about a lot and than we said our goodbyes and I left. I wasn’t able to drive home cause I started crying and had to call my uncle to come pick me up.
It’s been a few weeks since the meeting and now I’m not sure about my feelings about everything but focusing on getting ready for uni so I’m working alot more. My uncle and me are planning to go check out his other house that was affected by floods so that’s something to look forward too cause I need a change of scenery.
Thanks for checking on me it means alot
You'll do well OP. Go out there and be successful for yourself. Your uncle and wife are really a gem. Thats a couple you need to return the favour or love one day. So hv you decided what major you will do in uni?
OP: Most definitely. They are honestly the best support I have and I am forever grateful to them both for sharing their home, family and love. Sometimes I wonder why they do it and they always remind me it’s cause they care and love me which means a lot.
For uni I am going for a Bachelors in Commerce, majoring in Commercial Law and Accounting. Very excited about it and looking forward to it. It will take some years but that’s ok for me right now
The father is not leaving the stepmom and OOP is working to move forward. I'm flairing this concluded
Reminder, DO NOT comment on the original posts or contact the original poster. I am not the original poster. This is a repost.
submitted by KittenDealinMama to BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 12:29 sleepy-pineapple I don't think there is a single conspiracy he doesn't belive in

I don't think there is a single conspiracy he doesn't belive in submitted by sleepy-pineapple to insanepeoplefacebook [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 12:25 PhilosopherSouth4296 What am I supposed to do with this?

This weekend after another "talk" we finally managed to be naked in bed together. I've slept in the nude every night but my wife has been fully clothed since the end of last year. I initiated kissing and caressing. It was very sexual and she responded just a bit. It felt like she was trying. I said that it felt really good to be able to feel her body again and she agreed.
On Monday, I foolishly suggested that we cuddle again that night. So of course, hours later, I get in bed and she comes in a spends over an hour in the bathroom. By the time she comes out, I'm pretty much asleep. She had said in a previous argument that she would stay in the bathroom because she knew that if she came out, I would want sex. So, I knew what this epic bathroom stay was about. Considering that we're heading into our 7th month without sex, it was obvious that the naked cuddling was too much.
I've avoided contact since. She's been trying to kiss me and I've only returned an LL type of kiss. I can't get caught up in kissing, it just gives me false hope.
She can tell that I'm not thrilled but unlike previous weeks, I haven't said anything and maintained a warm vibe. It's the first week where we haven't argued.
This morning, she pulls me into to spoon. I've spent the night waking up hard so I woke up pretty horny. I turned to her and put my leg between hers and rubbed my knee against her pussy. She was wet. Of course I got totally turned on and pawed her body. After a few minutes, she pulled away slightly and told me that that's not what she needed and that she needed to feel safe. I waited a moment and calmly pulled away and went to shower.
Here's where it gets really frustrating. After I toweled off, I was laying in bed naked checking my email. She came in the room and stroked my inner thigh and then reached over and stroked my cock for a few seconds, then she stroked my balls and said "mmm, they're so smooth". She quickly pulled away and went to the bathroom.
Soon after, I went into the bathroom to get something and she looked at me and her eyes lit up as she looked at my cock and she says "It's enormous". I didn't even know how to react. It felt really good to hear that but I was also terrified. She's been acting like my cock doesn't exist for so long and now this? I just smiled and left to get dressed.
I feel like this is a sort of pity sex comment and I'm really having a hard time taking it as anything more than that. Honestly, it felt more bad that good and I want it to feel good but I don't trust her right now.
Can she keep this feeling going? Is she dreaming of my cock right now? Probably not. This is exhausting.
submitted by PhilosopherSouth4296 to HLCommunity [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 12:24 Noitham1 *.d.ts files on a TS project

Hey! I've come across this one project at my organization where apparently they're using `*.d.ts*` file types in a TS code base.
I haven't worked on a code base where this was a practice before, so I'd like to hear what's the difference between using bare `.ts` files or `.d.ts` for types definitions.
Quickly I've noticed that when using types there's no need to import since they're "globally" available, and this has been one of the points my coworker mentioned it was nicer to use `.d.ts`, since, no import was needed, and it was, in their opinion, cleaner. On the other side, this causes confusion because they have some types with the same name defined on different files, so for instance when using `RandomType`, could be globally imported from File1 and File2, which in my mind is confusing since I have no idea which type is being used at.
All in all, I'm trying to gather some points as to why they shouldn't be using `.d.ts` files?
`d.ts` files I believe are just generated automatically when transpiling TS code on libraries and not actual files that should be created on a TS project.
Looking forward to reading your opinions!
submitted by Noitham1 to typescript [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 12:22 winters-uprise My (22F) fiance (24M) punched a hole in our wall. Now what?

My fiance in general is not an anrgy person. In fact I'm normally the one that tends to anger easily and get dramatic but he's always been the one to stay level headed for both of us. But things have been financially really hectic and to top it off he quit his job which of course led to a stressful argument. I cry super easily so I was angrily tearing up and telling him to walk back to that office and get his job back because we cannot afford to be in between paychecks at this time. Then we both started yelling at each other when he literally started to punch the wall to the point that it was just a huge hole. Tbh this is not our first severe argument, but he's never done anything like this. He has never treated me in a way that I should feel threatened, so I felt more offended than scared, that he did such a thing to our home especially after all the work and sacrifice we put in to make it our home. I'm giving him kind of a cold shoulder rn because I know I'm walking on a thin line. I have never seen anyone in my family react that way even though we argue too 🤷. No doubt, I got so angered by seeing him do that because to me that's super immature and disrespectful. I'm not sure what to do next, I'm worried of taking things too lightly because punching a hole in the wall can easily transition to a domestic abuse situation. A phsycial angry outburst can never happen again because that is not OK with me. But I'm not sure what is the reasonable way to continue from here, I can't ignore him forever and our relationship is far from over but I need to make it clear the magnitude of his actions are severe, especially for me as a woman
submitted by winters-uprise to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 12:19 iFellAgainLOL I just want you all to know: you are loved.

I woke up this morning and felt the need to stop in. I want you all to know that you are loved and have a place in this world. We were all put here for a reason and epilepsy will not be the reason we feel useless.
I see a lot of people that are upset, feeling useless, frustrated, and at wits end with the disorder of epilepsy. WE ARE NOT OUR EPILEPSY. Epilepsy is a part of who we are. In knowing that, we can attain victory by not letting it overcome who we should be..
Just know that you are loved, you belong here, and your life matters. You can still attain a meaningful life and gain victory in your place within the world. Do not let epilepsy define you.
💜
submitted by iFellAgainLOL to Epilepsy [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 12:11 kyomage Can members of the public legally straddle the dashed white line on a empty/quiet duel carriageway or motorway?

Emergency services will use this method of driving during blue light runs - my general understanding is that its the safest way to drive as it gives you the most time to react to hazards emerging from the left/right. I'm happy to be corrected.
I can't find anything that says members of the public can, or can not do this. So legally, assuming the duel carriageway/motorway is empty, can I?
You may think why would I want to? Safety - gives you more time to react for hazards emerging from the left or right - think animals charging across the road. Or giving me advance visibility for what is coming from ahead, or things coming from behind.
You can assume I only mean I would straddle the dashed white line if both lanes either side are operating in the same direction...
submitted by kyomage to AskUK [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 12:09 DuelistOnlyBtw Dear Destiny, you DO care! (Effortpost)

(If required, leave a comment on something i have said; and i will try to find an accurate source for my claims.)
Dear Bonnell.
To a lot of people consuming your content, you come off as a stoic/cold person with a "could not care less" attitude. A lot of the times, this is clear as day.
However with the recent drama with Brittany Simon, I was surprised, and my notion of you and your relationships/interactions with other people have lead me down this rabbithole. There are 3 possibilites that i see. 1. Very neurodivergent/different 2. Being too hedonistic 3. Grifting/intentionally farming
You have stated that you are very good with your relationships. However I do think that you have a big blind spot when it comes to these relationships. You claim that you dont care, something that I would for the most part agree with. If we were friends, and I were to make a joke about a family member of yours, I dont think you would care. Its also clear to me that you dont care emotionally about sex. This was very apparent in one of your recent conversations with Aba, where it came out that you had an issue with cheating. Even on Melina. A question to Destiny viewers: Would you be in an open relationship with your wife/girlfriend? The answer I think, would be an obvious "no!" However to those that were to say yes, or if I had to engage in a relationship like this. Most of us would probably fall in on the same trap as Melina. I would NOT want my wife/girlfriend fuck 5 other dudes, by the time I have had sex with 1 woman. Most of the viewers, would once again agree that either it would be a 1:1, or that the particular viewer would get to fuck as many women as possible while their partner would have sex with less people than them.
My point about this, is that youre not emotionally connected to sex, Destiny. It seems like Melina is more on the "normie" side of engaging with sex. Cheating to me, shows a clear issue in a relationship, where the communication have been lacking. Maybe this is something you two didnt talk about properly beforehand? Im not trying to get into you guys' relationship, Im just trying to paint it clear that your emotional connection to sex is out of the ordinary. Even by poly-standards.
Youre a smart dude Destiny, so when i saw your reaction to Brittany talking ill about you, i was shocked. Yes she was in the wrong. No you didnt do anything wrong. I am once again asking for the viewers expertise here. Did Brittany actually surprise any of you? This is a person talking about being introspective, and have a level system for it. For me, that is just cringe. Not evil, not good. Just cringe. I have some internal thoughts about people talking about being enlightened, open minded, and introspective; that makes me not like it. Why? Because I feel like I'm exactly those 3 things, but I also know that I'm 100% not correct about everything I say, and that I dont find it productive to pretend like I do, even if its how I feel internally. Essentially holding onto my ego, but socially keeping it in check.
What else do we know about Brittany? She has multiple times stated that she is mentally ill , to quote one of the things from this link: " A mental illness can make you miserable and can cause problems in your daily life, such as at school or work or in relationships. In most cases, symptoms can be managed with a combination of medications and talk therapy (psychotherapy)." STRIKE 1
Another thing she has mentioned, is her usage of drugs. STRIKE 2 And lastly, she is an online content creator (money incentive). STRIKE 3 3 Strikes! Youre out!
With these things in mind, its very clear to me that this isnt a person that you can trust 100%, and I believe that the other viewers feel the same.
You (Destiny), have stated multiple times that you are good with relationships, and that you enjoy "crazy" people. That is completely fine. However there are times where those relationships have bit you in the ass. When i say bit you in the ass, i of course just mean "have to deal with annoying stupid shit". Examples are Sneako (talking shit about you and your wife), Mr.Girl (power struggles/trying to fuck you over), Ana (mental problems), Lav (idk... shes kinda weird). My experiences with "crazy" people. I have some friends that have crazy friends. One of these guys, is a particularly violent person. Im friendly towards him, and keep my guard up even more than I usually do. Im careful with what sorts of jokes im making, im careful with getting too close with him (friendship wise), because I know that his temper will get him in trouble; and I dont want that. There are certain types of stress I just want to keep out of my life, some because of possible legal reasons, and some because of annoyance/stress they would put on my life. I am fully aware of my close friends issues, and I'm emotionally prepared if their problems will cascade into bigger problems (whether they get depression, financial struggles, relationship struggles, etc.), and make sure I will not get fucked over by their stupidity. I worked way too hard in my life to get where I am, just for someone else to tear it down.
I obviously have some "interesting"/"crazy" friends, and there is nothing wrong with that! My issue with you (Destiny), is that when you say "I dont care", it seems like that is on a verbal and sexual level. Dont care if your wife fucks other people, as long as you get your dick wet. Dont care if people say mean jokes, as long as you can say your mean jokes. When it comes to a relationships though, you seem to care a lot! Friendships means a lot to you, and you form them very quickly/weirdly. My example of this, is when I was younger, and I fell in love with a girl in my class. Did i know her? No. Did i talk to her? No. She was just a cute girl, and I was a shy boy. As I've grown older, I find any sort of crush on people, who you havent even spoken to, to be childish, naive, and asking for trouble. Even if a woman is hot, I still keep my guard up, and try to scout through all possible red flags before I open myself up and give her my emotional affection/care. How much you care for someone emotionally, should be reserved, and given to the person carefully, whether its a close friend, or a girlfriend, the same rules applies.
Thats why i was surprised by your reaction. You were questioning yourself, almost like if you were insane. You couldnt believe what you were hearing, it seemed so surprising to you, like a dagger in your back! If you opened up a tweet and a KKK member spoke ill about black people, would you be surprised? Or if Sneako talked about the jews? Would that make you emotionally react the same way you did on stream about the Brittany sitation?
You emotionally care to a very high extent, and to a level in which I think most of your viewers would find abnormal, considering the person and the friendship. Was it mean of her? Yes. Was it surprising? About as surprising as if i told you "im going to say the word 'fuck' to you within the next 24 hours". Of course it may actually catch you off guard, but it wasnt really a surprise. This is how I feel about people like Brittany. My own reaction to Brittany and friends like her I didnt care, and wouldnt care. Dont get me wrong, it sucks that a friend would do this, but I wouldnt be getting so loud and flustered about it. I wouldnt even question myself. Id say where she was wrong about her points, i would say that shes acting fucking stupid. Internally, thinking about the friendship; I would most likely think that shes going through something troubling (due to the mental illness), and put the friendship on hold. Once shes snapped out of it, I would want her to get on stream and apologize/explain why she was wrong, and then we could be friends again. But... a friendship with a person like this, is not a friendship that you can be yourself 100%.
Ask yourself if you are 100% yourself around your son Nathan. Of course you are being yourself, but youre also being a parent. You dont let your guard down, and youre not surprised if he does some dumb stuff that children do. A parent and a friend/bestfriend, are two completely different things. You bear SO MUCH responsibility being a parent. Making sure that they eat properly, shower, do social things, are productive, and so on. What about a person with down syndrome? Im obviously not comparing your son to a person with down syndrome, rather im comparing Brittany to one due to her background. Do you feel confident that your friend with down syndrome would be able to be more responsible than you? What if you and your friend with down syndrome had to wake up early, catch a flight, talk to someone about something important, and so on. Would you honestly put trust in the person with down syndrome to take charge and help you through all of this, or would you think that the person with down syndrome is a friend; but that you are the more responsible/mature one? Therefore not being as surprised by their actions/lack of actions.
So lets compare this situation to Mr.Mouton or Dan. Would you feel more confident in giving them the power to wake you up early to catch the flight? To have the conversation with a person about something important? I would. I am way more confident in that Dan, Mouton, or Aba (even if the relationship isnt as close) would understand the responsibility and have the maturity to make sure that things are going smooth, rather than someone with a big mental illness. Of course there are people who have mental illnesses who are functioning just fine, but I believe that Brittany have enough red flags, to NOT take her friendship serious, and NOT keep her as close as i would keep Dan for instance.
Sure. Sometimes you dont want boring Dan to talk about the catpiss he collected on his 2nd floor, but that doesnt make him less of a friend, or worse of a friend. One of the amazing things about men (generalizing) is that we can be friends, not speak for two months, but we can still have a good emotional friendship (no shit talking, no back stabbing, etc.). So if you want to explore some "interesting" or crazy people, that is completely cool! Just remember that your real friends that you should have an emotional connection to, are not necessarily the people that are the most interesting people, or the people you talk to the most often.
Where does this lead us? My point is just that you are giving credance and emotional affection to people who dont deserve/need it. Choose your CLOSE friends wisely, and those friends that arent as close, shouldnt give you an emotional reaction, like Brittany did! Friends are friends, but friends come and go. Close friends are like family, and they are eternal. Thats why it hurts when they stab you in the back. If Dan stabbed you in the back, I would 100% understand the emotional reaction. You have to keep in mind that even though this drama may or may not have been a small burden for your significant othefriends, its not fun for them to hear you go apeshit over "drama" like this. It can be stressful/annoying, and over time, that can tear down your relationships with people who actually care about you!

What about the 3 possibilities...? This is where it gets interesting. The 3 possibilities were 1. Very neurodivergent/different Of course not saying this as an insult, but more so explaining the reality of your friendships. The big emotional reaction? Questioning yourself/your sanity? Talking about it for multiple hours? It was to be expected, or atleast the possibility of it.
If this is the case, then you should really work on the way you say "I dont care" (and with whom you form friendships with). You dont care about sex or insults. However you do care emotionally about friendships, even friendships that are doomed to fail. Is this a hedonistic trait where you choose to get the highest of highs, but also the lowest of lows? Or do you just not understand the social expectations and dynamics with the people you interact with?
2. Being too hedonistic If its not about you being socially unaware, and you say "yes its 100% my hedonistic tendencies" then i dont think that you are "allowed" to get an emotional outburst out of it. Its your stream, so of course you can do whatever you want. My analogy is that youre a stranger on the street, and you want to do a 360 kickflip over something dangerous, I tell you "hey be careful bud" and then you say "i dont care, fuck off" following up with failing the jump, harming yourself, and then screaming in the middle of the street like you just got shot. I understand the pain bro, but you really set yourself up for that. I find it weird that you would start screaming and crying in the middle of street after the failed jump, its not illegal, just a socially and publicly weird thing to do. 3. Grifting/intentionally farming
If im wrong about #1, and also wrong about #2, then this is the last case. You are intentionally overreacting to the drama, and you love it! Its easy content, and easy money! No shame in that BUT! In my opinion, this takes away from the fact that you are "honest" and "my entire life is on the internet!" Youre essentially not being yourself, and playing a persona on stream. Dont get me wrong, I dont expect you to talk to us like you talk to your closest friend/family off stream, but it does give a bad vibe. Example of the vibe I would be getting. Imagine if someone said something racist/homophobic, and i were to really overreact on stream. Going on about it for 3 hours, yelling screaming, but once i go off stream; my friends use all the slurs and i just laugh about it, and I didnt care at all what anyone said. Is that fair? Sure it is. I dont care what anyone says in private, but if you use the slurs excessively in private, then I dont want you to pretend like you have a big issue with it when someone else slips it out in public. Of course this analogy isnt a 1:1, but you get what im saying. It feels very dishonest.
Thank you for reading.
submitted by DuelistOnlyBtw to Destiny [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 12:04 chloesmemearchive Laser Hair Removal Aftercare

Hi! I’m looking to start getting laser at LCA, I’ve done a consultation and I am confident that I’ve chosen the best clinic for me. Just not sure if it’s really necessary for me to buy all the aftercare lotions and washes they are prompting me to get? I have quite sensitive skin and have a handful of products that work for me, I’ve tried every ingredient I can. The reason I want laser is because my skin reacts so so badly to shaving, waxing, sugaring etc and I get horrendous razor burn and ingrowns, but the technician at the clinic said it was essential that I buy their skinstitut products to prevent ingrowns and irritation. I’ve already tried several products for ingrowns and irritation that contain similar ingredients to the skinstitut products and haven’t seen any benefit (no major irritation or allergies if my memory is correct, but I’ve wasted a lot of money on similar products). I was too anxious to explain this in my last appointment haha.
Has anyone had laser done at LCA and not used their products? Should I spend the money on them and use them just to be safe? Any advice appreciated!
submitted by chloesmemearchive to AusSkincare [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 12:04 illalwayswonder Self sabotage

Hey. This will probably be the most honest letter I’ve ever written and I’m hoping it finds you.
I take into full account I hurt you. I fucked up more times I can’t count. I should have believed your actions and I should have loved you harder. I pushed you away because I was scared to love you. I had so much fear because of what happened in august. Followed by your secret account and what not.
I didn’t mean to destroy everything we had. I didn’t mean to hurt you the way I did. I wanted to build with you and hell I felt stronger by your side. I have been a train wreck my entire life. I have been financially irresponsible and not in my right mind. I have truly looked in the mirror. I know you are hurting and wanted to hurt me back. I understand but Jesus. I did not deserve that. Not at all.
I did not trust you. No I didn’t and I became obsessed in finding the truth. After everything that happened with the loss I have never trusted anyone more in my life than with you in that moment. I made me fall more in love with you but you were already so hurt by me that you had to leave.
It was not okay at all. I did not handle anything with maturity. I was not good to you in that way. I am sorry for making you feel alone- that is one of the biggest regrets of my life. You are so intelligent and incredibly tenacious. You are sweet and caring and did not deserve the extent I took things to. You absolutely did not have to tolerate that you had every right to leave. I’m sorry I did not understand you. Im sorry I wasn’t listening and I misunderstood you. Im sorry for reacting out of spite and hurt.
Most of all I’m sorry that when you started to pull me closer I took the wheel and steered us right into the element of what has become the most horrifying nightmare I’ve ever experienced.
You are an incredible man. You are. You loved me so much and you treated me like I had never been treated before. Vibrantly, madly and deeply. You sacrificed so much for me and I hope you thought I did the same. Im being honest. I only have myself to blame that you think those things. Your feelings matters to me and that’s why I’ve been staying away. I know you’re still hurting. I do not want to hurt you or any progress you’ve made.
I want to apologize to you. I want to make amends but I am in all honesty a little nervous reaching out to you. You have to also understand that I am fragile at this point as well. I am also do not want to continue to get hurt. I have to admit. I became someone I don’t recognize so much to the point where I have nothing left in me but to claw my way out of the bottom of the pit with the shovel I used to dig it.
I can promise you that I never wanted to lose you. I did not want this as the outcome. I was not anticipating this. I was twisted and you got caught in my mental warfare. You should know all my handles by now.
and you’re right- I haven’t physically put in any effort to better myself because my mental state is not well. I quit my hobby. I started isolating and staying inside for weeks. I haven’t made a home cooked meal in months.
I am not the woman you fell in love with and I won’t be ever again. To be honest- Fucking GOOD. Let her die. She was getting in the way. I am no longer the other version of me either. She is weak. I heard her mumbling woulda coulda shoulda and I ran out of patience. I dragged her through the streets. I’m in the process of rebuilding myself from nothing so I can be everything Ive ever wanted. She’s going to be stronger than ever before. She’s going to make her dreams a reality and take herself and her happiness seriously.
I would like to reintroduce myself to you someday. Make amends. Have an honest conversation. I would love nothing more than that but I lost that right. I do want you in my life. It would be a lie to say that I don’t want to hear from you or that my heart would be overjoyed to hear how you’re doing and to know if you’re okay. Seriously I am sorry for everything that happened the way it did.
I don’t know what I’m doing and I’m just trying to figure it out. I’m done with shit excuses and failures. I’m going to succeed. I am going to become the woman of my dreams. I miss you very more than you could ever possibly know.
—LJ.CH.ct.IW.
submitted by illalwayswonder to UnsentLetters [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 12:01 RunFastDrinkCoffee My husband got mildly physical with me... im not sure if I'm over thinking it but I'm really unsettled about it

I'm coming here bc the rest of reddit is toxic and will scream divorce. And we are catholic and value marrige.
Anyways I'm not sure what to do or how to feel. The past 2 weeks my husband has been more physically agressive. It doesn't hurt. It just bothers me that he feels the need to be so physical and in front of our daughter at that.
It's happened 3 times. The first time we were in a small disagreement and I went to go stir the food on the stove and he grabbed my arm and pulled it back pretty hard and took the spoon and said he would do it. I was pretty upset,, told him to not do that, that he could talk to me but please don't grab me like that. He apologized profusely and that was that.
Then yesterday it happened 2 more times! One of the times I was talking to my daughter in the car, my hand was raised bc I was counting to 3 and he pushed my hand down hard and yelled at me, because I had said a few days ago I was going to stop counting. Anyways it was the manner in which it happened.
I'm not sure what to do. He apologized again all night. But I'm really upset that he's started grabbing and pushing my arms like this. As much as I value marrige, I don't like being treated like this and I don't like my daughter seeing this as an example of how to be treated by a husband.
We've been married 8 years, this is totally new.
Am I over reacting to this?
submitted by RunFastDrinkCoffee to Christianmarriage [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 12:01 Accurate_Pea236 Why is the male body so much less attractive compared to the female body?

Please read till end. Women are honestly so damn attractive. They have curves and their body is so smooth. They’re a work of art to the eye and to the touch. It’s like their bodies were sculpted by years and years of evolution. An engineering masterpiece by mother nature. For every part of the female body you could find a guy who finds that part attractive. The hips, the curves, the breast, the bottom, the hair. Everything. It is such a treasure. A woman naturally has all these features and doesn't have to do anything.
But us men are built like a brick wall. Our body is hard and angular and we have ugly penises that protrude out. Photography of a woman's curved/arched back is insanely beautiful. While our body is boring and bland. Now all of you will say a muscular man is equally attractive. I completely agree that muscles make a man more attractive but clearly not at the same level as a woman. A muscular male body is hot, but still it does not carry the same power if we compare it to the power of the female body. Imagine a woman reacting to a shirtless muscular man and a man reacting to a shirtless woman. The man would go much more crazy. Not to mention less than 1% of men are muscular and normally men can be seen shirtless in homes in streets and no woman reacts.
Thinking about all of this makes me feel really sad and insecure that us men are not "equally" attractive and much much less desirable. It seems that men are utilitarian, mainly built to work and withstand a storm like a jeep. While women are built like a sportscar that may not withstand a stand a storm but is attractive.
Men and women of reddit, what are your thoughts on this? Also, I am talking about male and female bodies generally. Like how they look like normally. So don't say boys don't like extremely fat woman - that's a different thing.
I am 19 male.
submitted by Accurate_Pea236 to PakistaniiConfessions [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 12:01 autotldr Indonesia, booted as U-20 World Cup host, sees backlash against anti-Israel leaders

This is the best tl;dr I could make, original reduced by 72%. (I'm a bot)
JAKARTA, Indonesia - Indonesian football players, fans and pundits reacted with sadness and anger Thursday after FIFA pulled the Under-20 World Cup from the host nation weeks before it was due to kick off, following protests against Israel's participation.
Indonesia and Israel do not have formal diplomatic relations, and support for the Palestinian cause in the world's most populous Muslim-majority nation runs high, fueling local opposition to hosting the Israeli team.
FIFA's decision to find a new host - thereby nixing Indonesia's automatic qualifying spot - puts the country's most popular sport back in the doldrums and facing another bout of isolation.
An Indonesian FA video showed players with heads bowed and their coach in tears after receiving the news late Wednesday that FIFA would seek a new host.
FIFA threatened further sanctions and could exclude Indonesia from 2026 World Cup qualifiers that begin in October.
"I am very disappointed because it has been my dream to watch Indonesia hosting a global football event," said 40-year-old supporter Jarnawi, who like many Indonesians goes by one name.
Summary Source FAQ Feedback Top keywords: Indonesia#1 Indonesian#2 football#3 play#4 FIFA#5
Post found in /worldnews.
NOTICE: This thread is for discussing the submission topic. Please do not discuss the concept of the autotldr bot here.
submitted by autotldr to autotldr [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 11:57 Aeogeus The Heart of Zeforo: Chapter 14

First Chapter/Previous Chapter

“Look’s clear,” Melia said, aiming her weapon down the ventilation shaft, the flashlight’s beam reflecting off the polished metal. The duct was quite spacious; all things considered, they would need to crawl, but at least it would not be on their bellies.
They had put their helmets back on for obvious reasons. “Don’t drop your jar; we don’t want to waste it, and I don’t want to put these filters to the test,” Melia said as she crawled into the vent.
“Can you still see everything?” Melia asked Useri, tapping her helmet, so the lieutenant knew she was talking to him.
“Yes,” Useri replied, monitoring their progress. “Now, in about two metres, you will come to a junction, turn left,” he said, rubbing his hands together; he did not like the idea of his crewmates being in such tight confines.
“Turning left,” Melia replied; even over the radio, he could hear the clang of metal on metal; the choloshe would know they were coming well in advance. Useri hoped it worked in their favour, and they would run rather than face them head-on.
“Ten metres ahead, you will approach a shaft; you will need to find some way to cross it,” Useri explained.
After a few seconds, Melia said, “that won’t be a problem; the aliens have set up a rope system to make it easier to get about.
Melia looked down the shaft and saw the rope trail off into the distance. She would not be surprised if the entire ship’s vents were full of these things; it would certainly explain how they could get around so quickly.
Using the aliens' own construct, she was able to cross the gap easily. “Credit where credit is due; they’re a dab hand with a hammer and screwdriver,” Qerik said as he followed the Captain.
Melia could not argue and replied, “keep an eye out for traps; we don’t want to get caught lost at low tide.”

There were no traps; if anything, the air ducts were inviting, doing all in their power to be as accommodating as possible. Not that this helpfulness was intended for Melia, the choloshe and the Thing had assumed that no one else would be coming through them, and security was non-existent as a result.
As she turned the next corner, she was brought face to face with one of the choloshe. It snarled at her, and panic flooded her.
She tried to bring her rifle up, but the choloshe moved like lightning, grasping the weapon with its scythe-like arms.
The alien was strong, and Melia was astounded that it was able to compete with her synth muscle exoskeleton.
Yet compete was all it could do; win was off the table.
Melia was slowly gaining the advantage, and the choloshe knew it; it brought up one of its powerful front legs and kicked Melia squarely in the face.
She felt the blow, it did not injure her or even hurt, but her head was knocked around, and Melai was briefly disorientated, long enough for the choloshe to escape.
Qerik tried to aim over Melia’s shoulder, but the alien was adept at moving in these confines and was out of sight before he could get a shot off.
“Captain, are you ok?” Qerik asked, grabbing her shoulder.
“Yeah, I’m fine, but I’m pretty sure if I was unarmoured, my neck would be broken, and my skull caved in,” Melia replied, her gratitude for her armour ballooning to new levels. That was twice it had saved her now.
Melia paused briefly to run a diagnostic, and a few seconds later, she discovered the blow had not damaged her suit.
“Enough rest; we’ve got a job to do,” Melia said, continuing their trek through the vents.
They could still hear the choloshe as its claw-like cloven feet clanged against the sides of the vents, yet every moment it grew fainter and fainter. Melia did not doubt what it would do, inform the rest that she and Qerik were coming.

“Exit the vent on your right, Captain, and you’re there,” Useri said, taking a deep breath. His job was now done; everything was on the squad now.
Melia took one last breath, looked at Qerik, who held up his fingers to show he was ready. Polmunus and Tres were set to take the security room on her signal as well.
“Go!” Melia ordered, her voice barely above a whisper.
The two emerged from the air ducts as quickly as possible, pointing their weapons, looking for any trace of hostiles.
“Clear,” Melia called.
“Clear on this side Captain,” Qerik added; they made a quick sweep of the life support room and found no choloshe or other aliens.
There were signs of life, blankets, empty food containers, and cleansing utensils, but they were alone.
“They’ve gone; they deserted the room the instant they knew we were coming,” Melia explained.
“The same over here Captain; security is lifeless,” Polumnus said.
“Perfect,” Melia replied. “We all know what we have to do, so get to it,” she added.
Qerik was the one to operate the life support system, and he spent a few minutes familiarising himself with the device. He had received some brief instruction from the uren and tested his knowledge by lowering the gravity slightly and returning it to normal.
“Ok, C.P.O. I’m raising the gravity in security; tell me if it works,” Qerik explained.
Qerik tapped the screen and got a response from Polumnus, “it works; lower it back to normal.”
He did so, and Qerik knew he was all set to play his part.
“Good, Tres, find me those aliens,” Melai requested.

Easier said than done. Roughly ten per cent of the cameras had been damaged, most likely by the aliens when they first arrived. Moreover, they knew all the blind spots, the kitchen, seven hallways, one medical room and the Captain’s quarters were unavailable.
Tres and Polumnus were dutiful in the observations, but if their quarry refused to come out into the open, there was little they could do. After two hours, Melia concluded that the plan required alteration.
“We’re going to have to brute force this, Qerik increase gravity in all blind spots,” Melia ordered, deciding that they needed to flush them out. “Not the main medical ward; we know they’re not there,” she added.
Qerik did as instructed, and Tres waited for the Aga to scurry from their nest.
Two minutes later, they got what they wanted
The Thing itself appeared on the camera, and Tres informed Melia.
“Perfect, we capture their leader, and the rest will be much easier to deal with,” Melia replied.
Qerik increased the gravity on the corridor it was walking, and the Thing immediately moved to a jog, desperate to escape its newfound weight.
“Polumnus, meet me at the rendezvous point; we’re not losing this Thing,” Melia commanded.
“On it, Captain,” he replied.
Qerik kept the pressure light, figuratively and literally; if Tres informed him the Thing was approaching a vent, he would drastically increase the gravity until it could barely move. He was tempted to decuple the gravity and kill it there and then, but he kept to his orders.
On Tres’s part, she could not help but be impressed. Even though it had almost double the weight on its shoulder, not only was it still able to move but move with inspiring grace. She knew what it had done, but it was hard to conflate the brutal butcher with the elegant lifeform she was watching.
“We’re in position,” Melia said, and Tres had been so focused on the creature she was startled by her Captain’s words. “Right, the Thing, it's about twenty metres ahead; take the second corridor on your right,” Tres said, regaining her composure.
“Ok, let’s get this done,” Melia replied, taking point and approaching the turn.
“They’re almost there, Qerik; reduce gravity,” Tres said. He did as instructed, and Melia and Polumnus faced the Thing.
It reacted with lightning-fast reflexes and ran away the instant it saw them. Melia and Polumnus gave chase.
“It’s trying to get in a vent, Qerik gravity up on corridor 4-7,” Tres commanded.
Qerik was quick to react, and having learned from the previous attempts, the Thing immediately gave up. Instead, the Thing resolved to outrun its pursuers.
The chase went on, and everyone watching was amazed, not at the Thing’s speed which was rather unremarkable for something of its size, but at its endurance; as they passed the ten-minute mark, the Thing was still going but with no sign of slowing down.
None of that mattered; the Thing had just turned right and up a flight of stairs, which meant it was headed straight for the Captain’s cabin. There was no way out of there, and it would be trapped.
The Thing entered the cabin and slammed the door behind it. Tres quickly ensured it could not lock the door, using a medical override to disable the mechanism.
Melia and Polumnus pushed against the door, and against two exoskeletons, the Thing stood no chance. Once the door had been opened wide enough, Melia and Polumnus through their jars into the room.
The glass smashed, releasing its contents.
The two marines then reversed their tactics and held the door shut.
The Thing desperately tried to open the door, but it was no use; it was not strong enough and had no choice but to pray whatever had been sent its way was not toxic.
Eventually, the pressure on the door was gone, and she could hear nothing from the old Captain’s cabin. Melia wondered if it had fallen unconscious or was now trying to find another way out.
Then the silence was broken; a rhythmic screeching noise came from behind the door.
submitted by Aeogeus to HFY [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 11:56 JustPete51 My (M71) GF (F71) had a rough childhood and now has trouble being loved following loss of her husband

Background is I lost my wife of 53 years about 15 months ago. I now have a relationship with lady who lost 5 years ago after a 35 year marriage. This ladies background is that she ended up in an orphanage at 2, foster home at 5, and home for wayward girls at 13. During this entire period she never experienced the love of an adult.
It was only when she met her husband at age 30 that she settled down and had a near normal life. She believes her husband was created to 'sort her out'
We have been together nearly 4 months. We have been intimate, and although this is was only the second woman I have ever loved, it was not what what I was really seeking, which was primarily companionship and affection. She has had many BF's during those 5 years, but was not intimate with any of them.
Anyway about 6 weeks ago, before we were intimate, I told her I loved her. She was uncomfortable with this, and said she could not respond. She would only go as far as saying 'I was lovable'. Which I was OK with. Her root problem (I believe), is that she finds it hard to trust. Not unusual at all for someone with her childhood.
I am now seeking advice on how to work with her on best way to handle this situation. I see this as a long term journey. Maybe years. I am OK with that. My biggest challenge is that we become quite close in different circumstances, but next day, or a couple of days later she will close me out. Put up a wall. Be quite brisk and short in conversations. This then slowly softens over a few more days.
During these periods of withdrawal I do not react, and so far have just adopted a lower stance until the closeness returns. Although it happened a few days ago, and I did comment in a light hearted manner that she had built a ripper of a wall the night before. Something she did not deny
I think it would be easier if I was less close to her. Not expressing too many of my own feelings for her. But then she enjoys close physical contact (which is not necessarily intimacy)
Any ideas?
submitted by JustPete51 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 11:54 Ganatos Veteran athletics coach acquitted of molesting athlete in 2013 after appeal

Veteran athletics coach acquitted of molesting athlete in 2013 after appeal
SINGAPORE: A veteran athletics coach who was sentenced to 21 months’ jail in 2020 for molesting an athlete in 2013 has been acquitted of both charges after appealing to the High Court.
Mr Loh Siang Piow, 79, also known as Mr Loh Chan Pew, was acquitted of two charges of using criminal force on the then-18-year-old woman at Tampines Stadium to outrage her modesty.
In a judgment on Thursday (Mar 30), Justice Hoo Sheau Peng said the prosecution had failed to prove its case beyond a reasonable doubt.
The alleged victim, named only as Ms C, was the sole witness in the case and her testimony had to be unusually convincing to secure a conviction.
Justice Hoo said there were “serious doubts as to the veracity of Ms C’s allegations”.
Ms C was an aspiring national-level athlete at the time. She began training intensely in early 2013 and was coached by Loh, who also trained athletes from various schools, including a junior college and a university.
According to Ms C, Mr Loh molested her under the guise of giving her massages after their individual training sessions on Feb 24 and Mar 15 in 2013.
Justice Hoo pointed out that at that time, there was a prevalent practice in the athletics community for coaches to give trainees massages after intensive training.
She said that Ms C’s messages contain inconsistencies with her version in court about the events. She had also “exaggerated” aspects of the events.
“Even in court, her account of where she was touched has been unclear, and her account that she allegedly experienced an involuntary orgasm from the violation of her body seemed to be an embellishment,” said Justice Hoo.
She also pointed to Ms C’s seemingly “jovial mood” hours after allegedly being molested.
Ms C had also shifted positions on the date of the second offence at trial and was unable to recall material details or even where she had been touched.
“While I agree that a victim of sexual crimes cannot be straitjacketed into an expectation that he or she must act or react in a certain manner, this does not obviate the need of the court to examine the internal consistency of the victim’s testimony, especially when the victim’s post-offence behaviours appear clearly inconsistent with the gravity of the alleged offence,” said Justice Hoo.
THE NEWSPAPER REPORT She said Ms C lodged the police report in June 2016, after reading a newspaper report about a coach being accused of molest.
Thinking the offender could be Mr Loh, she decided to lodge the police report because she was worried that other new trainees might suffer her plight while training under Mr Loh.
However, the newspaper report concerned a different coach.
“What I find troubling is that Ms C’s communications with (another party) at that time revealed some strongly worded condemnation of sexual offenders in general,” said Justice Hoo.
She said that if Ms C had misunderstood Mr Loh’s conduct in 2013, there is the distinct possibility that over the three years, this misunderstanding might have deepened, especially after more conversations with other people.
“Unfortunately, I could not discount the possibility that there was a build-up of mistrust towards Mr Loh over the three years. Precipitated by the newspaper report, and coupled with her strong sentiments against sexual offenders, the complaint was eventually made in 2016,” said Justice Hoo.
She allowed the appeal and cleared Mr Loh of both molestation charges.
On the practice of coaches massaging trainees after intensive sessions, Justice Hoo said the community, including coaches, should “rethink and review the appropriateness of such a practice”.
“Should this continue to be a necessary practice, there should be proper safeguards adopted to minimise the potential for any abuse by the coaches of trainees, or in some cases, to prevent genuine misunderstandings between coaches and trainees in the conduct of the massages,” she said.
submitted by Ganatos to singapore [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 11:53 Richard2957 Is HEE an Employment Agency? And does it matter?

TL;DR Probably. Yes.
As HEE prepares to close its doors can we look at the difficult question of what exactly it is. Or was.
Applicants to Specialty Training Programmes may be surprised to find that if they are successful they are not being offered a contract of employment. Rather, they are offered a 'training agreement'. And as the HEE website carefully explains:- "... you will receive an offer of employment from your employer ....The offer of employment is distinct from the training agreement. You may change employers several times during your training period.".
We can come back to the 'training agreement' shortly, but in the meantime what precisely is the role of HEE in the employer-employee relationship? Clearly they are acting on behalf of, but are not themselves, the employer.
An employment agency is defined by statute as a business that provides services ... for the purpose of finding workers employment with employers, or supplying employers with workers who will be employed by them. The law distinguishes between Employment Agencies and Employment Businesses - the latter term is used for finding 'temps'.
Employment Agencies are very strictly controlled and regulated. A few key points are:-
Employment Agencies are required to notify work-seekers of the location/hours of the work, and the type of work that they will do, within three business days of an offer being made.
Employment Agencies are prohibited from making their work-finding services "conditional upon the work-seeker using other ... services provided by you". As we know, HEE not only handles recruitment but also manages several other aspects of training, revalidation and education.
The confidentiality of work-seekers is protected by regulations stating that agencies may not disclose information relating to a work-seeker, without the prior consent of that work- seeker, except in very specific circumstances and with prior consent.
The law expects the Employment Agency, and not the Employer, to:
  1. Obtain and verify the necessary professional qualifications and identity, and 2 references (and provide copies of these for the hirer).
  2. Ensure that the work-seeker is suitable for the role.
  3. Ensure that the DBS checks are done
  4. Obtain information from the hirer on health & safety risks and PPE that is provided
  5. Detail the minimum pay and likely deductions
When work-seekers want to change jobs, Employment agencies can not subject a work-seeker to any detriment on the ground that—

With all these restrictions and stipulations it is hardly surprising that HEE have tied themselves in knots in order to avoid having to comply with Employment Agency legislation or clarify what manner of beast they are. An attempt in 2010 to explicitly exempt them (or Deaneries as HEE was then called) from the EA restrictions was blocked by the short-lived pressure group RemedyUK .
AND looking at the 'Specialty Training Contract' is a strangely empty experience - the sample version in the Gold Guide appears to be merely a rehash of "Good Medical Practice" , together with some random clauses from an employment contract. But nowhere in it does HEE specify that it will provide any training.

So are HEE an Employment Agencies? HEE itself doesn't seem to know although it does begrudgingly acknowledge that if turns out that it is then it would adhere to the law. But it should be easy to find out because the law requires that "Every advertisement issued ... by an agency or employment business shall mention ...whether the services it advertises are those of an agency or an employment business."
Surely both the Employers and Employees would like to know the answer.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
DoI - I'm not an Employment Lawyer, and I was policy lead for RemedyUK. Some further reading for those that are interested:
https://www.legislation.gov.uk/uksi/2003/3319/made
https://www.gov.uk/employment-agencies-and-businesses
https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/936515/eas-brief-guide-for-agencies.pdf
submitted by Richard2957 to JuniorDoctorsUK [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 11:52 RupertDungeon77 Minimum CP to be accepted as DPS

So I decided that I'm gonna be playing Dps, and farm my way through it. My question is what is the average CP to aim for in order to people accept me as Dps? What I mean is, I know that damage and the capability to complete raids is not defined only by the CP, but since to enter in raids I need other people approval of my power to dps, and they usually use the CP as parameter (correct me if I'm wrong), how much CP is recommended to have for Crimson and Berthe raid? Appreciate any help.
submitted by RupertDungeon77 to elsword [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 11:49 Previous_Currency_57 They wiretaped Tates phonecalls in jail

Here are some romanian news about Tate that global news hasn’t reported about yet :)
They wiretaped Tates phonecalls in jail. In these conversations he planned his escape to Dubai, ordered the intimidation of witnesses and tried to bribe romanian politicans. +They Found 4 instances from last 2 years where Tate bribed police to escape charges of human trafficking +Exposed him for lying about having cancer +A lot more
Wiretaped jail conversations:
1 Tate instructed his cousin Luke to call the victims and say he is a lawyer and Tate will push 200 million defamition lawsuits if they don’t drop the charges which is basically witness intimidation since his cousin is not a lawyer.
Article about him wanting to flee to Dubai and instructing his cousin to intimidate witnesses : https://m.digi24.ro/stiri/actualitate/justitie/interceptari-fratii-tate-voiau-sa-plece-in-dubai-strategia-bazata-pe-mincuni-si-santaj-pentru-a-scapa-de-arestul-preventiv-2263871
2 He also called 2 persons who he was not allowed to call trough Luke. He also ordered his assistants to say to 2 romanian politicians that Tate will reward them if they defend him and help him in this case which is bribing.
Article: https://www.gandul.ro/stiri/exclusive-the-mistake-that-nailed-andrew-and-tristan-tate-even-more-how-the-british-millionaires-fell-into-the-net-of-diicot-prosecutors-19937225
3 He told his cousin Luke to pay woman so they defend him online and even come to court and defend him and cry and put on a fake show
Is included in article from point 1
4 He told Luke to call a sheikh and order a private jet for the same day he had a 30 day hearing so he could directly fly to Dubai. Prosecutors say he wanted to flee since he wouldn’t be allowed to leave the country. Defense says he wanted to go to Dubai only for medical treatment and not flee. Same day the cancer reports leaked but then in romanian news medical documents leaked that he knew on the 03.02 he doesn’t have cancer and that was one whole month prior.
Is included in article from point 1
Doctor findings that confirm he doesn’t have cancer that he had one month before his manger posted that he has cancer :
https://www.curentul.info/actualitate/biopisa-lui-andrew-tate-arata-ca-nu-are-cancer-si-poate-suporta-arestul-preventiv/
Tates witness intimidation bribing of police and getting access to the romanian MAI (is like FBI ) database :
• They found 3 victims who went to the Bucharest police station in the last 2 years to file 4 charges (1 woman went twice). They wanted to file charges against Tate for human trafficking and his assistant Georgiana for abuse because she regularly hit the girls and forced them to work 15 hours a day. But the local police was bribed by Tate. And when they arrived police called Luana who is the former police woman who is part of Tates criminal organisation. And then Georgiana together with police intimidated the victims and stopped them from filing charges. 
https://www.gandul.ro/english/exclusive-four-complaints-for-beatings-and-other-violence-filed-on-behalf-of-the-tate-brothers-with-the-voluntari-police-all-complaints-lay-unresolved-19919120
https://www.gandul.ro/english/exclusive-voluntari-police-officers-suspected-of-helping-the-tate-brothers-escape-some-charges-former-policewoman-luana-radu-is-alleged-to-have-been-the-contact-19914600
Edit: Another woman was abused by Tates assitants and held in Tates complex. Luana part of Tates organization told the girl she has connections to police and DICOT and she won’t be able to charge Tate and his assistants. Once she escaped and went to the police they didn’t want to prosecute Tate.
https://www.gandul.ro/actualitate/exclusiv-cum-erau-chinuite-sclavele-sexuale-ale-fratilor-tate-19915461
• They also found out that Tate trough the help of Luana got acces to the datatabase of romanias MAI which is equivalent to the american “FBI” after his house raid in april of 2022 and was always checking if people were searching his name, who was coming after him and the ongoing state of the investigation 
https://www.gandul.ro/actualitate/dezvaluiri-socante-din-ancheta-fratilor-tate-fosta-politista-luana-radu-a-accesat-baza-de-date-a-mai-ca-sa-afle-date-din-ancheta-era-imposibil-fara-sprijinul-altor-persoane-19934934
Exposing Tate for lying about his jail conditions:
He has a 2 man cell with his brother which has a TV. He was also allowed to get food from fancy restaurants delivered to his jail. They also go shopping once a month for all the detained people and he usually orders fruits snacks and personal hygiene stuff.
He was so arrogant to even ask the guard to get him a ps4 and allow a hairstylist into his jail because the razors the jail gives him are not good enough
He was never in solitary confinement or mistreated like he said multiple times
Article about his jail conditions : https://www.gandul.ro/stiri/exclusive-andrew-and-tristan-tate-asked-for-playstation-and-hairstylist-in-custody-how-the-police-reacted-19934365
I used gândul news since there aren’t many other romanian news that post articles in english. If you don’t like gândul you can find these articles in other romanian news too .
submitted by Previous_Currency_57 to copypasta [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 11:48 foxdeathgod Help/Advice

another question that needs help please. I copied and pasted from the previous script hack.js. I just changed targets to new server. then added new exe files to hack the new target. it looks the same to me, I cannot see where it does not work. also, any references to any Net script tutorials that are not in game that can help will be appreciated. thank you.
hack.js below
/** u/param {NS} ns */export async function main(ns) {// Defines the "target server", which is the serve/ that we're going to hack. In this case, it's "n00dles"const target = "phantasy";// Defines how much money a server should have before we hack it// In this case, it is set to 75% of the server's max moneyconst moneyThresh = ns.getServerMaxMoney(target) * 0.75;// Defines the maximum security level the target server can// have. If the target's security level is higher than this,// we'll weaken it before doing anything elseconst securityThresh = ns.getServerMinSecurityLevel(target) + 5;// If we have the BruteSSH.exe program, use it to open the SSH Port// on the target serverif (ns.fileExists("BruteSSH.exe", "home")) {ns.brutessh(target);}// Get root access to target serverns.nuke(target);// Infinite loop that continously hacks/grows/weakens the target serverwhile(true) {if (ns.getServerSecurityLevel(target) > securityThresh) {// If the server's security level is above our threshold, weaken itawait ns.weaken(target);} else if (ns.getServerMoneyAvailable(target) < moneyThresh) {// If the server's money is less than our threshold, grow itawait ns.grow(target);} else {// Otherwise, hack itawait ns.hack(target);}}}
RUNTIME ERROR
[email protected] (PID - 69)
fileExists: Invalid hostname: 'FTPCrack.exe'
Stack:
hack2.js:[[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])

/** u/param {NS} ns */export async function main(ns) {// Defines the "target server", which is the serve/ that we're going to hack. In this case, it's "n00dles"const target = "I.I.I.I";// Defines how much money a server should have before we hack it// In this case, it is set to 75% of the server's max moneyconst moneyThresh = ns.getServerMaxMoney(target) * 0.75;// Defines the maximum security level the target server can// have. If the target's security level is higher than this,// we'll weaken it before doing anything elseconst securityThresh = ns.getServerMinSecurityLevel(target) + 5;// If we have the BruteSSH.exe program, use it to open the SSH Port// on the target serverif (ns.fileExists("BruteSSH.exe", "home")) {ns.brutessh(target);}// If we have the FTPCrack.exe program, use it to open the FTP Port// on the target serverif (ns.fileExists("BruteSSH.exe", "FTPCrack.exe", "home")) {ns.brutessh(target);ns.ftpcrack(target);}// If we have the relaySMTP.exe program, use it to open the SMTP Port// on the target serverif (ns.fileExists("BruteSSH.exe", "FTPCrack.exe", "relaySMTP.exe", "home")) {ns.brutessh(target);ns.ftpcrack(target);ns.relaysmtp(target);}
// Get root access to target serverns.nuke(target);// Infinite loop that continously hacks/grows/weakens the target serverwhile(true) {if (ns.getServerSecurityLevel(target) > securityThresh) {// If the server's security level is above our threshold, weaken itawait ns.weaken(target);} else if (ns.getServerMoneyAvailable(target) < moneyThresh) {// If the server's money is less than our threshold, grow itawait ns.grow(target);} else {// Otherwise, hack itawait ns.hack(target);}}}
submitted by foxdeathgod to Bitburner [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 11:48 R-Gii Slavish Copying may not be covered under copyright law

Bridgeman Art Library, Ltd. v. Corel Corp., 36 F. Supp. 2d 191 (S.D.N.Y. 1999) :: Justia
I am looking into this because YouTube blocked my reaction to the Public Domain film: The Jazz Singer worldwide, I am going to strongly protest this, and even if they strike me, I will do whatever I can to bring the Public Domain status of the film to Public awareness. My only fear is that I was using a DVD copy of the film to react to and I don't know how new editions work. This however seems to suggest that a direct copy of the work does not protect it from copyright any longer than the original copyright term for the original work, I cut out any menus from the film, so unless they slipped in some secret edit in there, it seems like any claim will be baseless. This is also positive news if this turns out to be correct, because otherwise, because average citizens typically have no way to access original editions of Public Domain films, and I wouldn't be surprised if companies used that to unfairly withhold Public Domain materials from the Public. Anyway, I am going to do whatever I can to ensure it's known that Public Domain materials have the right to be used by the Public and to raise awareness to stop YouTube and corporations from abusing copyrights to withholding expired works from the Public Domain.
submitted by R-Gii to publicdomain [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 11:47 LordOfCogs Reintroducing cat after operation

My two cats were quite close. They were often sleeping in the same cat condo, play fighting etc. I recently moved and my cats are still not feeling fully secure in my new place outside of primary bedroom. Unfortunately last week I needed to take one of them to ER for operation due to ruptured anal gland. Her sister did not react well, both to her sister, as expected, and me. Sister started hissing at me whenever she felt cornered.
When sister finally sniffed me she calmed down. I kept them separate and I feed them on the opposite sides of the same door. I put the pheromones next to the door separating them. I spend most time with the sister as she meows constantly when I'm in separate room (she is even more needy that usual and sleeps on my bed every night) but I check on post-op cat (she seems to be doing great and she slowly starts meowing for attention).
The thing that worries me is that sister still hiss at her. It usually happens once per day some time after feeding. I don't see body language of the post-op cat but her sister has ears up and tail is wagging a little bit (I'd say indicating concentration/anxiety as it is not puffed and it is not a full whipping motion). I don't intend to begin reintroduce them before stitches are taken off and sister is not wearing E-collar but I was expecting them to stop hissing at each other.
Should I be worried that hissing indicates she does not recognize her sister? What other steps can I do to speed return to normalcy?
submitted by LordOfCogs to cats [link] [comments]


2023.03.30 11:34 catnip-2 Not everyone’s trauma stays unprocessed unless they see a therapist

So I got into an argument with my girlfriend that insisted I should see a therapist after she found out that my childhood was “traumatic” Now by no any means am I denying the effects trauma has on people. It’s real and can cause real issues, I have a degree and psychology and understand it pretty well. However, I simply feel like with the knowledge that I have I’ve managed to self reflect and mitigated any negative behavior I would see myself doing as a result of said trauma. The way the argument started is me and her are both EMTs, and she is fairly new and I’ve been in the field for a few months. A few days ago she came home and was crying having lost her first pt, and this was her first time seeing a dead body. We were just cuddling and talking and then she asked about the first time I seen a dead body. Having grown up in a war torn country, the first dead bodie(s) I seen was during a concert that was bombed. I was in the outside of the concert hall, so all I heard is a loud explosion followed by body parts flying all over the place. I just told her the first time was when I wS back home during the war at age of 11. She was taken aback by this and asked me more about my experience during the war. I realized how concerned she was so I kept the details little and told her that this was about the worst incident. She asked if I had seen a therapist about it, I said no, and then she insisted I see one. Even going out of her way to book me an appointment with one. She kept insisting that I have “unprocessed trauma” and while she can’t say a single thing I do negatively as a result of it she keeps insisting. I am genuinely so upset about her reaction, I am very aware of my past traumas and have spent a long time reflecting on them and process what happened. Having reacted this badly to one instance, made me wonder how she would react had she known about some of the other instances like sexual assault, abuse, and damn near being a slave working at a sweatshop after school.
I just find it condescending, like am I just supposed to let my life stop because those things happen? Can’t I simply just accept that shit happens and try to make a better life than that thats been? She just doesn’t think I can process that trauma alone and “later down the line it will fuck you up” I am by no means desensitized, to death and traumatic experiences. I cried when I lost my first patient, I cried in multiple tragic calls. Granted not in front of people but after my shift at home, alone. But that’s mostly because growing up men crying in front of others is kinda seen as embarrassing, and not because of my trauma.
Is it wrong for me to just simply wish to focus on creating a bright future rather than believing I am some sort of a victim due to what’s happened. I legit use some of those traumatic shits to motivate me when shit gets rough. I look back and think “look at how far you’ve come, compared to then I am blessed” This whole thing really has set me off because she just refuses to listen to me when I tell her I’ve processed my own shit. I’m considering breaking up with her over this if she presses it any further.
submitted by catnip-2 to offmychest [link] [comments]