90 days fiance alina

Current Trt dose 200mg test E EOD, 10 mg tbol(week1-6), mk677(1-10), lgd4033 5mg(3-6).
Started at 80kg 13% for a 1.83. Current week 4 86kg. No fat gaining only pure muscle I will try to get 89-90 kg then stay on mk677 for some weeks (2) and then go back t0 200test. I know i gain some water weight but i only feel bloated at night. The first weeks of the cycle mk677 an tbol did a lot when i added lgd with the same food my body started to cut fat so i had to add more cals right now 3000-3500. Training PPL 6 days m training the harder in my life history of lifting (5yearss).

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I have uploaded everything I can to prove my address. The utilities are in my boyfriends name, my phone bill is online (I don't receive paper bills), and my bank is with Chime, which also doesn't send out paper statements. What do I do?
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"Sorry, we were not able to verify your address. Reason: We don't accept insurance, vehicular, or medical related documents.Please upload a FULL monthly utility bill,phone bill,or bank statement with account details dated within 90 days.Continued failure to upload sufficient bill will result in account closure.. Please submit another proof of address document"

I've been ramping up my meditation time lately. I'll do multiple sessions and in total that ends up being anywhere from 90 minutes to 4 hours a day. I love it, I truly enjoy it - the exploration, the insight, the emotional cleanup - just all of it. But every now and then I'll sort of trigger myself into a frenzy where I start thinking that I should/must be doing X, Y, Z instead of "wasting time" on meditation because these other things would be so much more useful/productive/social/whatever. Once I settle down from this state I realize that it doesn't matter and that spending that time on the cushion instead of X, Y, Z is completely fine since I am not disregarding any actual "must do" responsibilities in my daily life but that guilty feeling is quite sticky still.
It was always easy and straightforward for me to see my single morning session of 20-30 minutes as beneficial but this is a bit more of a challenge. And yes it is obviously a problem with my upbringing and previous conditioning on how one should spend their time.
Does anyone have experience with this? How did you solve the conflict and become fully confident in the fact that it is indeed okay to spend more time meditating and that it is not a waste of time?

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Tomorrow afternoon, my new Tandem pump arrives. I've only had Medtronic pumps, and the one I have now is so old my endo can no longer download any info (paradigm).
The Tandem sales guy said I'd never have to fingerstick again, not even in setting it up. Is this true in the real world?
I haven't heard about when the Dexcom cgm will come. I'm not sure how to find that out, lol. My endo's office sent the order out. I'm already scheduled with his nurse educator. It seems way more complicated that what I've been accustomed to, for sure. I was told that the G7 does not yet work with the pump, so they ordered the G6. Kind of pissed me off. Is this true?
In addition, he's taking me off the u-500 insulin and moving to a u-100. I'm a bit nervous about this. The u-500 is slow(ish) acting and I'm accustomed to it. I'll have to change sites every 2 days because of the amount I use. I'm trying the 90° infusion set that the salesman says is the closest to Medtronic.
Any advice, my fellow TD1 warriors?
(I'm on mobile only, as I'm 1 month post major cervical spine surgery and sitting at the computer is difficult for any length of time. I will check back posts when I can.
Side note: I kept my pump on basel only for the surgery. Anaesthesia was absolutely on top of all things T1 diabetes. It was only when I got to the ortho ward that the hospitalist wanted to put me on "a sliding scale." I have no idea, even, what that is! So, I politely refused. It was fine after that.)

[content warning: mention of suicide and self-harm]
I'm not sure of the general reason why I am writing this. I suppose the frustration I have with the way my brain works has just grown massive enough that I need to do something to cool off. Anyway...
I'm 23 years old. On therapy since over two years ago. Recently(-ish) semi hospitalized and diagnosed with APD - plus some traits of PPD for good measure - after an SA.
Fear and avoiding fear have been the basis of my life for as long as I can remember. Fear of the future, mostly. As well as fear of social interaction and being looked at with any hint of hostility. I've spent the entirety of growing up scared shitless of adulthood and trying to distract myself from the passing of time. The only hope I could find at that time was a conviction that I'd kill myself once I finish school. I know it's a very unhealthy thing to hold onto for comfort - especially for so long - but I had been in such a bad place mentally that it seemed to make sense then. Before I knew it, I turned eighteen and just... continued existing. And being scared. To put off the decision what to do with my life (the life that was supposed to have ended by then) I went to college. Decisions, by the way, are another thing that brings me a lot of suffering. Small and insignificant, or big and crucial - it doesn't really matter, they're very, very difficult either way. I would give a lot to have my agency in life taken away.
College was okay at the beginning; thankfully I'd chosen a field that did interest me and the atmosphere of actually sharing knowledge rather than being stuffed with data like a vessel on a conveyor belt, the way it had felt like in high school, was refreshing. However, at that time the problematic behavioural patterns I developed really started to show and the fixation on negativity I'd grown accustomed to started to take its toll. And then covid happened.
With an overabundance of fear you'd think it odd that I didn't have much to spare for a pandemic, but the idea of going down with it was, unsurprisingly, attractive for me. I'm sorry if it's problematic for you to read about this kind of mentality, but I don't want to sugarcoat and it really is what I grew up - and still struggle - with. Covid did scare me indirectly though: it disturbed the fragile familiar balance that kept me going and introduced a lot of unwarranted change (you might have guessed, change is also difficult for me). That's when my grades and involvement with studying started to take a dive. Ultimately, I made it to the last term but dropped out before it ended. The way to go from there would have been to look for a job, any job, just to get some experience and tame that fear somewhat. But instead I got paralyzed with fear for a long time, stuck in a limbo of dark thoughts.
I've always been a loner. One or two close friends at any time, not-so-close friends always in single digits, no relationships period (with the latter it's not even that I was too scared of the concept, I just didn't feel the need to be in one nor have I ever felt attraction to anyone I know/had known). The thing is, until lockdown I was quite content with the way things were in that regard. Naturally, I wasn't fond of being bullied or being the odd one out in every group, but aside from that I didn't really feel lonely. Welp, that has taken a turn. Somewhere in-between the start of the pandemic and dropping out of college, I started to feel crippling loneliness. Suddenly, I found myself unhappy with the way I went about my friendships. I started craving connection over things I'm passionate about. That's when, after much deliberation, I joined reddit (actually the first proper social media platform I'd sign in to if you treat YT as a different kind of beast - and I do). And I'm glad I did, for I've met a few amazing people I became internet friends with, whom helped me through the darkest point of my life. I still often feel lonely though, and there are many steps I'd like to take in socializing myself more (like joining some paper RPG group, for instance) but find myself unable or unwilling to do so :/
I was also close to getting a job at one point but I went down with diarrhea the day of the interview. That's when I noticed my stomach is against me taking anxiety-inducing risks (thankfully, nowadays I have pills for that). Oh, and I also get agoraphobia-related panic attacks sometimes. And anxiety-based dreams. And mood swings. Woo!
Somewhere along the way I... just got fed up with it. I simply couldn't take being inside my own head, among all these fearful thoughts anymore. Too much self-loathing. Too much disappointment. Too much suffering. In the past, inducing physical pain upon myself had helped to get through the lowest moments, but that night was different. It wasn't much of an emotional breakdown like usual, it was way more calm, cold, calculated. After a brief discussion with myself, I elected to overdose on pills I had been sure to check for side effects before. Possible coma and death on the list looked inviting. I wrote a goodbye message to my friends, thanking them for everything they'd done for me and prepared to go to sleep. As you know because you're reading this, I did wake up from it. Skipping over the unnecessary drama of friends alerting my mother, I ended up in a psychiatric day ward for some time. On the upper side of things, it ended up being quite a good and productive time. Both the staff and other patients were amazing people who offered tremendous help to get me back on track with things, to make me slowly crawl outside of my comfort zone and outfitted me with legitimate techniques to combat some of the intrusive thoughts and undesirable behaviours. That's also where I got diagnosed for the first time in my life.
I'm out now and slowly making a bit of progress here and somewhat relapsing there... but the damn fear is still very much present, still impairing the way I function and progress. I can only do a single "massive" deed per a few days or else I become a shaking mess of anxiety. My sleep schedule is all over the place depending on how much stress from the day before (or after) I'm under. I still want to meet new people but the thought of actually doing it makes me nauseous. Also, maintaining what I already have regarding friendships is taxing.
It takes effort and a huge dose of time for me to fully trust someone. I'm not even sure if I'm capable of doing it 100%. This is where PPD comes in. Even though I'm aware it's irrational, when I'm feeling down it's so easy to trust the thoughts saying that everyone who has ever stood by me has done so either out of pity, twisted curiosity or some unknown, ulterior motive. They can't possibly actually like me, right? I certainly don't like me, so why would they... There has been a time when I tried to persuade my best friend out of our friendship, allegedly proving it wasn't beneficial to him. I still don't know why I did it. Whenever I'm around people outside of my circle of supreme trust (so around 80-90% trust I'd say :D), I always assume they think the very worst of me. Not in a way that'd put them in a bad light, in my mind they're *always* justified in doing so; I'm the one acting/looking/being odd and suspicious. That's the way my paranoia makes me hyperaware of my body while talking or otherwise interacting with people. I don't intend to do anything malicious, but I think they expect I do, so I must act naturally not to reinforce their suspicion, so I become acutely aware of the way I walk and talk and stand, and in turn I definitely don't act naturally anymore, so they must be growing more and more suspicious... can you see the vicious circle here? It starts most of the times I go shopping, or take care of some official business, or even during the first few therapy sessions (there I had convinced myself the therapist would assume I was being dishonest; thankfully I was able to convey that to her and thus stop the circle from spiraling down further) and it makes me just wanna run away and hide in the comfort of my home. I also find eye contact and physical touch uncomfortable in most cases and some cases respectively, but that is something I'm actively working on and seeing some progress already.
So, yeah. This is a relatively brief outlook on my issues and struggles. Thanks for stopping by if you did. Any advice on how to attempt to overcome these from anyone who can relate to my experiences is appreciated. Good luck and be well, folks!

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Goin to work. Will do my pistols and one armers today. Almost halfway to 90 days. After 90 days monk mode I want to be with my girlfriend again.

It must have been terribly slow and stupid of me but it just dawned on me two days ago that my (28f) closest friend (27f) was trying to sabotage my life.
PART 1
I am a small entrepreneur in this one field and one day my close girl friend (same friend in question let’s call her Laura) called me and said one of her ex clients is now in my field of work and looking for a new supplier, strongly suggested I should meet up with him to the point of being pushy. Anyhow I agreed to the meeting, and shortly after our conversation I got an email from this ex client (35m) and the conversation was brief and we agreed to meet and talk in person.
Over at the restaurant I realized it was a date. He said he had told Laura he’s looking for a date and a girlfriend, hence the meet up. I was very confused as to why I was told one thing and hearing another, so I left shortly after discovering his intention. After this brief meet up this gentleman became strangely obsessive via constant phone calls, text messages and emails all about his love confession (we’ve only met for 20 minutes!). Later I found him stalking me outside of my office and home (nobody else could have given him my home address but Laura, but I just wasn’t thinking and didn’t think it could be her). I tried telling him off nicely to avoid hurting his feelings by saying I am not interested in a relationship or dating in general at this point of my life and that he misunderstood the reason why I agreed to meet. Then, when the stalking and obsessive behaviours didn’t stop, I told him straight up he is disturbing my life and he must stop.
Upon receiving my strongly-worded message, he became furious and cursed me in the most unimaginable ways and thankfully after I blocked him, he never showed up near either my office or home again.
I spoke to Laura about my whole ordeal with this gentleman after, she said ever so calmly indicating she already knew he has some issues with bipolar disorder among a few other medicated illnesses (what she said showed me she knew before she even introduced him to me). I found the entire episode strange but since my life was very hectic at that point (about 8-9 months ago) I didn’t think much of it. Until two days ago I realized Laura was purposely trying to set me up to date this person knowing full well he is not in the right state of mind. I called Laura the past Sunday asking how she came to know him, she said she used to work with him, but he got fired for not being mentally competent and sexually harassing a coworker. I gasped.
PART 2
5 months ago I met a wonderful Turkish gentleman (I’m Canadian with Swedish and Kazakh parents, he is a US green card holder and now working in Canada, where we met) and we fell madly in love. We are now engaged and the wedding will be next year (in Turkish and Kazakh cultures it is dishonourable to not disclose your serious intention at the onset. Couples normally get engaged within weeks or months per the custom after the boy asks for permission to be engaged/married from the girl's family).
Just after we got engaged (I called to tell all my girl friends and family), Laura said to me no man in their sane mind would want to commit just after 5 months of dating, and suggested that he might be mentally ill and that’s why he chose me (almost her exact wording, and some other things implying I am not good enough to deserve this "perfect" man and that I should find someone within my league). I found the way she talked unsettling and have since distanced myself a little.
One day I got a call from Laura, urging that I should really consider breaking up with my fiance, the reason she gave was that she has a gut feeling my fiance is the ‘same crazy kind of guy’ (quoting her) as ‘her ex client’ (her words again, about the guy I’m Part 1). And then I started to realize she doesn’t want me to be in a happy relationship. What’s more, she lied to me about how she made the previous gentleman’s acquaintance and then really really wanted me to be in an abusive relationship with him (she knew full well the problems the gentleman in part 1 has). Then, when I was in a happy relationship she tried gaslighting tactics on me a few times to have me to see my fiance in a different light so we’d break up.
I don’t know when she started to change and not want the best for me anymore, but to sabotage my love life not once but twice is a whole different level of hurt she has caused me.
Apologies for the long rant, I typed in a haste to get it out of me and I haven’t figured out how I am going to face her in the future.
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TLDR: Best girl friend Laura tried to set me up by deceit with a mentally unstable man who was fired for sexually harassing a coworker (one of the reasons he got fired)— Part I. And then when I met someone and got engaged, she tried to gaslight me into thinking I am unworthy and something is wrong with my fiance that I should break up with him — Part 2.

So, I have been dating my current girlfriend for about one year and a half, she is Japanese and I am Canadian. She has been living in the US/Canada for basically the entire year and a half we have been dating. I used to live in Japan back in law school, 4+ years ago, and since leaving, I have used Japanese almost every single day. I work at a Japan desk of a US law firm and my Japanese is at an essentially fluent level. Her English has improved a lot in the past year and a half and she can generally follow along with natives in a social setting and can handle herself in English, probably an upper intermediate level. Her English has gotten good enough to the point that we text almost 50/50 in English and Japanese and there is no real language struggle there as her writing/reading is quite good. At the start of the relationship, obviously almost 90% of the communication was in Japanese and although she did try and get me to use more English and I did try several times to make a conscious effort, it never really stuck. I've explained to her that I don't want to feel like I am struggling to communicate and I just want to enjoy my relationship with my girlfriend, not have a language-exchange every time we are talking. She's bugged me about a couple of times over the relationship but never anything more than a comment here or there.
Today she was speaking with an acquaintance who happened to be an English language teacher and when she came home she basically told me that the teacher had told her, "if I really care about her, I would talk in English" and that "as my Japanese is better than her English, I need to try to make it as good as my Japanese". I basically told her that one, this teacher is seriously overstepping his boundaries saying something that strongly worded and two, that her English right now is basically the same level my Japanese was after my year in Japan 4+ years ago. I am ahead of her by almost 4+ years of using the language every single day, I am open to helping her but that it takes time. She does recognize that her English HAS substantially improved in her time year, but it would have improved faster if spoke English more, which is technically true. It's not like I don't speak in English at all, like I said I do text her in English 50/50, in-person communication is maybe 80/20 Japanese/English and of course when I take her out with my native Canadian friends and such, the conversation is all English.
I understand that she wants to improve her English and be more confident in her language abilities so she can enjoy Canada more, and I do want to help her but AITA for not wanting to basically force myself to use English when I don't want/have too? She's asked me to up my English speaking to 50/50 Japanese and English and I said I would think about it, but I just wanted a second opinion.

Author note: The Cryopod to Hell is a Reddit-exclusive story with over three years of editing and refining. As of this post, the total rewrite is 1,894,000+ words long! For more information, check out the link below:
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...................................
(Previous Part)
(Part 001)
...
Some time earlier, in a part of the Milky Way Galaxy hidden from the gods themselves...
The Hall of Heroes.
Hope Hiro's greatest construction hovers inside a void of brilliant luminosity: A golden palace of incredible size, capable of comfortably housing the thousand artifacts he seized from the Volgrim.
The Hall of Heroes resides within an alternate dimension not unlike Jason Hiro's 'Chrona Realm.' However, while Jason's special dimension has been maximally upgraded to a TDR (Time Dilation Ratio) of 250:1, Hope's has only reached a TDR of 100:1. As for why this is the case, the answer lays in the biggest difference between his realm and Jason's.
The Hall of Heroes... is filled with Heroes.
With so many powerful artifacts concentrated in one realm, Hope simply cannot accelerate the flow of time beyond a certain level without destabilizing reality and killing himself in the process. This judgment, delivered by Solomon himself, is what gives Hope the final assurance he can push no further.
After spending a few days with Solomon building the palace according to the Knowledge-Seeker's specifications, Hope finally takes a day to rest.
Inside this time-accelerated domain, a few days will only require an hour or two in the outside world. Hope strolls about with Solomon's corporeal figure, a much more realistic projection compared to the one Jason used to summon when he possessed the Crown.
"What now?" Hope asks.
"Now that we have built this Hall, you should begin a series of tasks to accelerate your learning process." Solomon responds. "I already spent six years training Jason. Inside a realm like this, you can leapfrog your other self and become a far more proficient combatant and leader compared to him."
"Right, I understand that much." Hope says, reaching out to pick up one of the artifacts at random, a pearl-like orb just big enough to fill up the palm of his hand. "I'm asking what I need to do specifically."
Solomon gestures to the relic in Hope's grasp. "You've obtained almost a thousand artifacts from the Volgrim. Frankly, I only recognized a tenth of them on my own. Luckily, the Volgrim knew of the vast majority of their identities, so that will alleviate much of our troubles with identifying them. You should spend one day with each artifact, learning who their original owners are, what abilities they can offer, and how you can integrate them into your future battles."
"One day for each..." Hope says slowly, as a frown crawls across his face. "But there are nearly a thousand! That'll take three years!"
Solomon shrugs. "Why do you think I had you construct this Hall of Heroes? You require time to assimilate your gains, boy. The Volgrim will be too fearful to make a move against you, for now, but I worry they might make a move against your woman. You should bring Amelia here, where they can't reach her. Then you won't be stuck with only me for the whole duration."
Hope's frown eases. "That's a good point. The Volgrim might target her... but what about Neil? Shouldn't I bring him here, too?"
"Tsk, tsk." Solomon clicks his tongue. "You've much to learn about projecting strength. Bringing Amelia here is more for your companionship than for the sake of protecting her. Ask yourself, boy, what sort of message will you be sending the Volgrim if you bring people you care about into a secret realm? It will tell them that you fear reprisal!"
Solomon and Hope walk into a large, lavish golden hall with a table capable of seating over a hundred people. As soon as Hope enters, several ethereal maids and butlers materialize, formed from the magical power contained within the Hall of Heroes. They quickly spread out and begin creating a delicious meal fit for a king while Hope walks over and sits at the head of the table.
"You're saying I should project fearlessness and strength." Hope says. "But will that truly deter Unarin? Everyone seems to think he's an extremely intelligent leader. What if he sees through my ploy?"
Solomon sits on Hope's right, at the seat of honor. The two of them together somehow make the dining hall feel even bigger and lonelier than it did before they entered.
"Your line of thinking is too simple." Solomon says slowly. "Let's recap the actions you've taken."
He pauses.
"First, you sneaked through all of Volgarius without raising any alarms. It can be seen by how the Volgrim did not confront you until your arrival on Serris that they were not even certain you were present. This indicates a lapse in their detection capabilities."
"Are you sure that's the case?" Hope asks. "Looking back, it's pretty obvious the Volgrim suspected I was on Volgarius. Sangin Lidra was probably the one to tip them off."
"That's right. They 'suspected' you were on Volgarius." Solomon says meaningfully. "But they did not know for certain. I believe none of them could actually detect your presence. Perhaps not even Founder Dosena herself! Only Confessor Vulpanix had the ability to do so."
"Too bad I couldn't kill her for good..." Hope mutters, his eyes narrowing to slits. "If she's the only one who can properly detect me, I should make sure to finish the job sometime in the future."
Solomon nods. "Returning to my previous point: The second action you took was to engage in dialogue with Confessor Vulpanix, a dialogue in which you easily outwitted her, crushed her spirit, and broke her mind and body. She fled in a manner most pathetic, bringing shame to the Volgrim Empire. This has demonstrated to the Volgrim that you are not a pushover like Jason, ready to go to any length to be their friend. You punished them for their words and misdeeds. You took decisive action!"
"A lot of that was just you feeding me what to do, though." Hope points out.
"So? Unarin is the thinker, and Dosena is his powerhouse. You and I can be thought of in much the same way. Few people are capable of being the brains and the brawn. Just look at Duke Bael, for instance. He may be one of the most powerful demons in terms of physical strength, but as for his brain, heh."
Hope nods. "If he ever wised up, he'd become a real threat."
Solomon nods. "The last action you took was to obliterate Serris. This sent a message to the Volgrim not only that you were capable of doing so, but willing to do so. The destruction of an entire planet is not a casual act. Anyone who can accomplish such a feat automatically elevates themselves to an extremely high threat level. The Volgrim know Jason destroyed Polaris with a Supernova, and now with your added feat, they will dread doing anything that might set you off again."
"I also set clear limitations." Hope points out. "The Volgrim will know, or soon realize, I only destroyed the planet because Vulpanix pissed me off. As long as they tread lightly, they will be safe."
"That's right." Solomon says, smiling encouragingly. "But, think of the message you will send if you immediately try to whisk away Amelia, Neil, and a bunch of other people close to you. What will the Volgrim think if after demonstrating such power, you begin hiding people from their wrath?"
"They'll think I'm scared..." Hope says slowly. "But won't they think that anyway if I bring Amelia here?"
"Not necessarily. She is your future spouse, after all. Having her by your side is only natural." Solomon replies. "The same is not true of Neil and the rest. Leaving Neil relatively unprotected serves as a sign of confidence. It won't be hard for the Volgrim to realize that you and him are close friends. If they were to capture and threaten him, they would have leverage over you, but that is also a terrible mistake they would never make. From Unarin's point of view, you should appear a cunning rationalist who is willing to go to any length to punish injustice... even the blatant murder of billions of Volgrim on Serris."
Hope nods, unbothered by the extreme actions he took only a few days earlier. "Alright. So let's assume I spent a few years mastering these artifacts. What then?"
"Do you want me to plan out your every move?" Solomon asks, raising an eyebrow. "I certainly can, but you are this era's current living Hero. It would not be entirely appropriate for me to coddle you."
"Right, yeah..." Hope mutters. "I have my own ideas. Well, for now, I think I'll bring Amelia here. Worry about the other stuff later. I've got time."
"Time aplenty, though not an eternity." Solomon affirms. "Take care to spend what time you do have efficiently."
Hope nods. He waves Solomon away, and after the old man has disappeared, he utters a Word of Power.
"Return."
An instant later, a figure materializes on his right side, hunched over.
"What the- aah!"
Amelia cries out in alarm, toppling over as she loses her balance. Hope jumps out of his chair.
"Oh, lord! I'm sorry, honey! I didn't realize you were- man I'm an idiot, sometimes."
Amelia rises to her feet with Hope's assistance. As he pulls her up, she gives him a pouty look of annoyance, followed immediately by a quick look of shock around the luxurious room filled with gold and jewels.
"Where the heck...? Where am I?"
"This is the Hall of Heroes." Hope explains. "A lot has happened. Sorry, I've been a bit busy over the last few days."
Hope launches into a brief but information-packed explanation of his recent exploits, causing Amelia's head to spin.
"You blew up an entire PLANET?!" Amelia cries, the blood draining from her face. "What is wrong with you? Hope! That's... that's EVIL!"
"They are our enemies." Hope says quietly, schooling his face. "You didn't see what the Volgrim did to the humans they captured. They kept cloning people, murdering them, then they would repeat the process again. It was barbaric."
Amelia inhales a quick breath. "But you've always told me that the actions I took when I was the Black Queen were evil and that I should seek redemption. Now you're going out and murdering planets too?? This is really screwed up!"
Hope winces. "Things aren't quite that cut and dry, Amelia... they're just not. But I can't say more right now. Just know that I had a good reason for doing everything I've done."
Amelia closes her eyes. She rubs her hand against her eyelids as if to try and scrub her memories clean.
"I don't get it... but... I guess I can't take the high ground here. I'm just as bad as you."
"No, no, that's not the case at all." Hope says, gently touching her shoulder. "There's a lot going on, alright? In a few years, you'll understand the ploy I've worked out. For now, I just needed to get you inside the Hall of Heroes so you'd be safe from the Volgrim."
"A few years?" Amelia asks, lifting her head. "What do you mean?"
"Ahaha... well... we're not exactly in the physical realm anymore." Hope replies.
He spends another few minutes bringing her up to speed not only on the events that have transpired, but also his plans for the near and far future.
"So you're going to master all of the Artifacts? And then you'll be able to stomp the Volgrim if they ever cross you?" Amelia asks.
Hope smiles. "Not just the Volgrim. The demons too... and most importantly, the Plague. As bad as the Volgrim are, the Plague is our worst nightmare. We can't allow it to strike humanity's worlds."
Hope invites her to sit at the table. With Solomon gone, Hope opts to sit beside his fiance. They calm down while the maids and butlers stroll in, plates full of piping hot food. Meats, vegetables, all sorts of entrees arrive, making Amelia raise an eyebrow.
"Bit wasteful, don't you think? We can't eat all this."
"Bah, we don't have to." Hope retorts. "I can just Wordsmith any leftovers back into their raw ingredients."
"Who are these people anyway?" Amelia asks, gesturing to the blank-eyed palace attendants.
"Constructs. Not unlike the ones Jason made, but mine are a bit simpler and easier to make."
The Second Wordsmith opens his mouth in an 'aha' expression. "That reminds me! I think it's about time I took care of business."
Amelia watches with a quizzical expression as Hope summons the mightiest artifact in existence to his palm.
Excalibur, the Divine Blade!
Hope uses a Word of Power to materialize the sword from elsewhere in the Hall of Heroes.
"Excalibur powers this entire realm." Hope explains. "And it still has tons of energy left over. It's actually ridiculous how much mana one little sword can wield. It's like a supergiant star that never runs out of juice."
Amelia curls her upper lip. "I don't like swords much. Certainly not that one."
"Huh? You don't?" Hope asks.
"No. It reminds me of Joan." Amelia says, her tone low. "Remember? Joan took over Arthur's body and... tortured me."
"Ah. Well, Arthur himself isn't like that." Hope says, turning his attention to the divine blade. "Projection."
With a single Word of Power, Hope reaches into Excalibur and activates the soul contained within.
King Arthur materializes a few feet away, his body appearing partially transparent but also surprisingly whole. The Hero-King glances around, then locks eyes with Amelia.
"Ah. Black Witch..."
Amelia slowly blinks her eyes. "Arthur."
Hope frowns.
"You know each other?"
"We fought." Arthur says. "A long time ago. She doesn't have the same aura anymore, that fearsome Hunger that used to be so evident on her face, but she was a terrible foe back in the day. I won't forget her for as long as I live."
Amelia faintly smiles. "I'm not 'technically' Amelia, if you must know."
She looks at Hope.
"Don't you remember? I'm the person who killed Arthur."
"WHAT?" Hope cries, leaning away from her. "No way! You never told me!"
"I didn't think I needed to. You have Jason's memories. Don't you remember when I summoned Arthur and Satan to fight Jason? I killed Arthur and seized his body, but I was unable to lay claim to his soul. So it entered Excalibur, leaving me with his mindless flesh-half."
"Black Witch." Arthur repeats. "Body thief. City eater. In the end, you met your demise. Now you're not even the same woman who slew me following my Greatest Sin. I hold no more animosity toward you."
"Yeah. I, or rather, the original Amelia, wasn't exactly in her right mind back then anyway." Amelia says, shrugging helplessly. "I kind of had a dragon inside me."
"Happens to the best of us." Arthur concludes.
Hope scratches his head. When he called his fiance here, he had completely overlooked her relationship with the Hero-King. In hindsight, it should have been obvious to him, making him feel a little foolish.
"Err, let's move on." Hope says, trying to wave away the slightly tense and awkward atmosphere. "Arthur! I brought you here because I've had something on my mind for a while now. Only now do I have the opportunity to make it happen."
The handsome golden-haired King crosses his arms and smiles. "Oh? Go on."
"I have a body for you. The perfect body." Hope says. "You can finally return to the real world to aid me by wielding Excalibur at its full power. I also plan to make bodies for all of the past Heroes, at least the ones who want them."
"Ah." Arthur says, immediately looking less interested. "Well, I appreciate the thought, young Hero, but my time is over. I've no interest in returning to a corporeal existence. I'd much rather continue to stay within the Divine Blade."
Hope grins. "I thought you might say that. But don't jump ahead of yourself! You've yet to see the body you can possess! And you don't have to possess it all the time. You could always jump into it during times of great danger. It would help me feel more at ease if you were available to help humanity."
"I don't really think it matters how suitable the body is." Arthur says, slowly shaking his head. "You misunderstand. I am undeserving of returning to reality. The sin I carry... the lives I've taken... I forfeited my right to be called a Hero. Let alone a Hero-King, such titles are unbefitting of me. I'm afraid I'll have to refuse."
Hope pauses. Slightly surprised by Arthur's insistence, he didn't expect the Hero-King to reject him so thoroughly.
"Well... look, just give the body a once-over, alright? Maybe you'll change your mind."
He pauses.
"Summon."
A moment later, Hope summons the Arthur Construct to his side from elsewhere in the Hall of Heroes. The Arthur Construct stands tall and proud, its physical appearance perfectly mimicking Arthur's soul-body. Even Amelia raises an eyebrow.
"It's a perfect replica of the man." Amelia says, before turning to Hope. "Well... except..."
"Haha..." Arthur laughs awkwardly. "You've gone to such an effort, it does make me feel a bit embarrassed to continue denying your request. This is indeed a mighty body."
"Right?" Hope says, suddenly feeling a little put-off by the looks Amelia and Arthur are giving him. "But you still don't want it?"
"I did not want the, ahem, the 'body' before, and that stands even more so now." Arthur says. "She's certainly a mighty warrior, to be sure."
"Right..." Hope says slowly. "Any particular reas- wait, did you say 'she'?"
Amelia and Arthur exchange glances.
The former Black Queen coughs into her fist.
"Ahem. Hope, uh... you... you do know there's a female soul inside of this body, right?"
"Huh?" Hope says, glancing at the construct, then back to the other two. "What do you mean? The construct is soulless."
Arthur squints at Hope, making a weird grimacing expression.
"Ahhh... so you haven't noticed. Well, that explains your... lack of manners. Indeed, there is a soul inside that body, boy. And it is female..."
Arthur turns his attention to the construct.
"I apologize for the Wordsmith's rudeness. He seems to be lacking in the... soul-sensing department."
The Construct says nothing. It slowly blinks, then nods at Arthur.
"You have a soul?" Hope asks, now visibly bewildered. "Can you speak?"
The Construct looks at Hope, then nods.
"But you've never said anything before!" Hope protests. "All this time!"
Finally, the construct opens its mouth.
"I did not feel comfortable doing so."
Finally hearing the Arthur Construct speak for the first time ever, Hope can practically feel his mind explode inside his skull. He stands up and stares in wide-eyed fascination.
"Well- I mean, I- I feel terrible! I've been talking about you all this time as if you were a robot or something!"
The Construct nods. "Yes. You were rude."
Despite its voice being masculine, as well as its appearance, Hope gets the impression the Construct might be... offended.
"Are you truly a woman?"
"I am." The Construct affirms. "And I do not like my appearance."
"Oh..." Hope mumbles.
Feeling a little dispirited, Hope scratches the back of his head.
"I wish you'd said something sooner. I didn't mean to give you a sense of... body dysphoria, or whatever."
"I didn't think you'd care." The Construct says slowly. "You needed a weapon. I am a weapon. I fight. I kill. That is all."
"Hope, you're such a jerk." Amelia teases. "I think you should make her look prettier, now."
Hope nods. "Would you... like to look more feminine?"
Immediately, the Arthur Construct takes a step toward Hope. She gets right in his face, her expression bland and unchanged.
"I would."
Hope takes a step back, feeling deeply intimidated by her stoic attitude.
"A-alright. Uh. One second..."
Hope closes his eyes to form a mental image of a female King Arthur. As he does, he happens to look inside his Mind Realm, where he sees King Arthur stifling a hearty laugh.
[The hell are you guffawing about?] Hope thinks. [WAIT! Did you know the whole time?!]
Solomon lets a little air escape his lips. [Pff. Pffff... yes... it was quite amusing, I must admit. Your inability to sense different types of souls is your funniest quality!]
[Dickhead.] Hope grumbles. [At least help me construct a new appearance for her.]
[Oh, certainly.] Solomon says. [I've been waiting for you to notice for ages! I already have one prepared.]
[You already had one... ugh.] Hope grumbles, even more annoyed.
He opens his eyes as images of a female face and body materialize in his mind.
"Appearance. Shift. Hair. Eyes. Face. Shoulders. Muscles. Torso. Breasts..."
He quickly fires off several dozen Words of Power, changing the female Arthur's body rapidly, causing her hair to become far longer, her eyes to expand, and her figure to become visibly more feminine.
After a full minute of transformation, Hope ceases his work. He glances at Amelia and Arthur, then back to the Construct.
"Well? What do you two think?"
Amelia blinks twice. Stars dance in her eyes. "Pretty..."
Arthur clears his throat. "So this is how I might have looked if I were born a woman, hm? I could fall for myself."
The new female Arthur stands just as tall and imposing as her original self. With a powerful, muscular body, she looks no less intimidating than Arthur himself. But now, her face appears much more beautiful and feminine, along with the rest of her body. Her long golden hair hangs down to her waist, and her sparkling blue eyes truly captivate one's imagination.
She turns to a nearby mirror hanging on the wall, then walks over to examine herself. After running her hands through her hair and lightly touching her face, she nods.
"Acceptable."
Hope chuckles. "You're not much for words, are you, uh..."
"Artoria." The Construct says. "My name will be Artoria. You will refer to me as such."
Despite her bland tone, Hope gets the impression she might actually be threatening him if he doesn't comply. He hurriedly nods.
"Right! Artoria Pendragon! We'll just say you're Arthur's... twin sister! How about that? Sorry for my earlier misunderstanding. I can be a tad dense sometimes."
Artoria walks over to Hope. She stares at him for a few seconds with the same unchanging, intense gaze she always does.
"Yes, you can. But I forgive you."
"Wow..." Hope mutters. "Somehow, you're way scarier when you talk."

Some time earlier, in a part of the Milky Way Galaxy hidden from the gods themselves...
The Hall of Heroes.
Hope Hiro's greatest construction hovers inside a void of brilliant luminosity: A golden palace of incredible size, capable of comfortably housing the thousand artifacts he seized from the Volgrim.
The Hall of Heroes resides within an alternate dimension not unlike Jason Hiro's 'Chrona Realm.' However, while Jason's special dimension has been maximally upgraded to a TDR (Time Dilation Ratio) of 250:1, Hope's has only reached a TDR of 100:1. As for why this is the case, the answer lays in the biggest difference between his realm and Jason's.
The Hall of Heroes... is filled with Heroes.
With so many powerful artifacts concentrated in one realm, Hope simply cannot accelerate the flow of time beyond a certain level without destabilizing reality and killing himself in the process. This judgment, delivered by Solomon himself, is what gives Hope the final assurance he can push no further.
After spending a few days with Solomon building the palace according to the Knowledge-Seeker's specifications, Hope finally takes a day to rest.
Inside this time-accelerated domain, a few days will only require an hour or two in the outside world. Hope strolls about with Solomon's corporeal figure, a much more realistic projection compared to the one Jason used to summon when he possessed the Crown.
"What now?" Hope asks.
"Now that we have built this Hall, you should begin a series of tasks to accelerate your learning process." Solomon responds. "I already spent six years training Jason. Inside a realm like this, you can leapfrog your other self and become a far more proficient combatant and leader compared to him."
"Right, I understand that much." Hope says, reaching out to pick up one of the artifacts at random, a pearl-like orb just big enough to fill up the palm of his hand. "I'm asking what I need to do specifically."
Solomon gestures to the relic in Hope's grasp. "You've obtained almost a thousand artifacts from the Volgrim. Frankly, I only recognized a tenth of them on my own. Luckily, the Volgrim knew of the vast majority of their identities, so that will alleviate much of our troubles with identifying them. You should spend one day with each artifact, learning who their original owners are, what abilities they can offer, and how you can integrate them into your future battles."
"One day for each..." Hope says slowly, as a frown crawls across his face. "But there are nearly a thousand! That'll take three years!"
Solomon shrugs. "Why do you think I had you construct this Hall of Heroes? You require time to assimilate your gains, boy. The Volgrim will be too fearful to make a move against you, for now, but I worry they might make a move against your woman. You should bring Amelia here, where they can't reach her. Then you won't be stuck with only me for the whole duration."
Hope's frown eases. "That's a good point. The Volgrim might target her... but what about Neil? Shouldn't I bring him here, too?"
"Tsk, tsk." Solomon clicks his tongue. "You've much to learn about projecting strength. Bringing Amelia here is more for your companionship than for the sake of protecting her. Ask yourself, boy, what sort of message will you be sending the Volgrim if you bring people you care about into a secret realm? It will tell them that you fear reprisal!"
Solomon and Hope walk into a large, lavish golden hall with a table capable of seating over a hundred people. As soon as Hope enters, several ethereal maids and butlers materialize, formed from the magical power contained within the Hall of Heroes. They quickly spread out and begin creating a delicious meal fit for a king while Hope walks over and sits at the head of the table.
"You're saying I should project fearlessness and strength." Hope says. "But will that truly deter Unarin? Everyone seems to think he's an extremely intelligent leader. What if he sees through my ploy?"
Solomon sits on Hope's right, at the seat of honor. The two of them together somehow make the dining hall feel even bigger and lonelier than it did before they entered.
"Your line of thinking is too simple." Solomon says slowly. "Let's recap the actions you've taken."
He pauses.
"First, you sneaked through all of Volgarius without raising any alarms. It can be seen by how the Volgrim did not confront you until your arrival on Serris that they were not even certain you were present. This indicates a lapse in their detection capabilities."
"Are you sure that's the case?" Hope asks. "Looking back, it's pretty obvious the Volgrim suspected I was on Volgarius. Sangin Lidra was probably the one to tip them off."
"That's right. They 'suspected' you were on Volgarius." Solomon says meaningfully. "But they did not know for certain. I believe none of them could actually detect your presence. Perhaps not even Founder Dosena herself! Only Confessor Vulpanix had the ability to do so."
"Too bad I couldn't kill her for good..." Hope mutters, his eyes narrowing to slits. "If she's the only one who can properly detect me, I should make sure to finish the job sometime in the future."
Solomon nods. "Returning to my previous point: The second action you took was to engage in dialogue with Confessor Vulpanix, a dialogue in which you easily outwitted her, crushed her spirit, and broke her mind and body. She fled in a manner most pathetic, bringing shame to the Volgrim Empire. This has demonstrated to the Volgrim that you are not a pushover like Jason, ready to go to any length to be their friend. You punished them for their words and misdeeds. You took decisive action!"
"A lot of that was just you feeding me what to do, though." Hope points out.
"So? Unarin is the thinker, and Dosena is his powerhouse. You and I can be thought of in much the same way. Few people are capable of being the brains and the brawn. Just look at Duke Bael, for instance. He may be one of the most powerful demons in terms of physical strength, but as for his brain, heh."
Hope nods. "If he ever wised up, he'd become a real threat."
Solomon nods. "The last action you took was to obliterate Serris. This sent a message to the Volgrim not only that you were capable of doing so, but willing to do so. The destruction of an entire planet is not a casual act. Anyone who can accomplish such a feat automatically elevates themselves to an extremely high threat level. The Volgrim know Jason destroyed Polaris with a Supernova, and now with your added feat, they will dread doing anything that might set you off again."
"I also set clear limitations." Hope points out. "The Volgrim will know, or soon realize, I only destroyed the planet because Vulpanix pissed me off. As long as they tread lightly, they will be safe."
"That's right." Solomon says, smiling encouragingly. "But, think of the message you will send if you immediately try to whisk away Amelia, Neil, and a bunch of other people close to you. What will the Volgrim think if after demonstrating such power, you begin hiding people from their wrath?"
"They'll think I'm scared..." Hope says slowly. "But won't they think that anyway if I bring Amelia here?"
"Not necessarily. She is your future spouse, after all. Having her by your side is only natural." Solomon replies. "The same is not true of Neil and the rest. Leaving Neil relatively unprotected serves as a sign of confidence. It won't be hard for the Volgrim to realize that you and him are close friends. If they were to capture and threaten him, they would have leverage over you, but that is also a terrible mistake they would never make. From Unarin's point of view, you should appear a cunning rationalist who is willing to go to any length to punish injustice... even the blatant murder of billions of Volgrim on Serris."
Hope nods, unbothered by the extreme actions he took only a few days earlier. "Alright. So let's assume I spent a few years mastering these artifacts. What then?"
"Do you want me to plan out your every move?" Solomon asks, raising an eyebrow. "I certainly can, but you are this era's current living Hero. It would not be entirely appropriate for me to coddle you."
"Right, yeah..." Hope mutters. "I have my own ideas. Well, for now, I think I'll bring Amelia here. Worry about the other stuff later. I've got time."
"Time aplenty, though not an eternity." Solomon affirms. "Take care to spend what time you do have efficiently."
Hope nods. He waves Solomon away, and after the old man has disappeared, he utters a Word of Power.
"Return."
An instant later, a figure materializes on his right side, hunched over.
"What the- aah!"
Amelia cries out in alarm, toppling over as she loses her balance. Hope jumps out of his chair.
"Oh, lord! I'm sorry, honey! I didn't realize you were- man I'm an idiot, sometimes."
Amelia rises to her feet with Hope's assistance. As he pulls her up, she gives him a pouty look of annoyance, followed immediately by a quick look of shock around the luxurious room filled with gold and jewels.
"Where the heck...? Where am I?"
"This is the Hall of Heroes." Hope explains. "A lot has happened. Sorry, I've been a bit busy over the last few days."
Hope launches into a brief but information-packed explanation of his recent exploits, causing Amelia's head to spin.
"You blew up an entire PLANET?!" Amelia cries, the blood draining from her face. "What is wrong with you? Hope! That's... that's EVIL!"
"They are our enemies." Hope says quietly, schooling his face. "You didn't see what the Volgrim did to the humans they captured. They kept cloning people, murdering them, then they would repeat the process again. It was barbaric."
Amelia inhales a quick breath. "But you've always told me that the actions I took when I was the Black Queen were evil and that I should seek redemption. Now you're going out and murdering planets too?? This is really screwed up!"
Hope winces. "Things aren't quite that cut and dry, Amelia... they're just not. But I can't say more right now. Just know that I had a good reason for doing everything I've done."
Amelia closes her eyes. She rubs her hand against her eyelids as if to try and scrub her memories clean.
"I don't get it... but... I guess I can't take the high ground here. I'm just as bad as you."
"No, no, that's not the case at all." Hope says, gently touching her shoulder. "There's a lot going on, alright? In a few years, you'll understand the ploy I've worked out. For now, I just needed to get you inside the Hall of Heroes so you'd be safe from the Volgrim."
"A few years?" Amelia asks, lifting her head. "What do you mean?"
"Ahaha... well... we're not exactly in the physical realm anymore." Hope replies.
He spends another few minutes bringing her up to speed not only on the events that have transpired, but also his plans for the near and far future.
"So you're going to master all of the Artifacts? And then you'll be able to stomp the Volgrim if they ever cross you?" Amelia asks.
Hope smiles. "Not just the Volgrim. The demons too... and most importantly, the Plague. As bad as the Volgrim are, the Plague is our worst nightmare. We can't allow it to strike humanity's worlds."
Hope invites her to sit at the table. With Solomon gone, Hope opts to sit beside his fiance. They calm down while the maids and butlers stroll in, plates full of piping hot food. Meats, vegetables, all sorts of entrees arrive, making Amelia raise an eyebrow.
"Bit wasteful, don't you think? We can't eat all this."
"Bah, we don't have to." Hope retorts. "I can just Wordsmith any leftovers back into their raw ingredients."
"Who are these people anyway?" Amelia asks, gesturing to the blank-eyed palace attendants.
"Constructs. Not unlike the ones Jason made, but mine are a bit simpler and easier to make."
The Second Wordsmith opens his mouth in an 'aha' expression. "That reminds me! I think it's about time I took care of business."
Amelia watches with a quizzical expression as Hope summons the mightiest artifact in existence to his palm.
Excalibur, the Divine Blade!
Hope uses a Word of Power to materialize the sword from elsewhere in the Hall of Heroes.
"Excalibur powers this entire realm." Hope explains. "And it still has tons of energy left over. It's actually ridiculous how much mana one little sword can wield. It's like a supergiant star that never runs out of juice."
Amelia curls her upper lip. "I don't like swords much. Certainly not that one."
"Huh? You don't?" Hope asks.
"No. It reminds me of Joan." Amelia says, her tone low. "Remember? Joan took over Arthur's body and... tortured me."
"Ah. Well, Arthur himself isn't like that." Hope says, turning his attention to the divine blade. "Projection."
With a single Word of Power, Hope reaches into Excalibur and activates the soul contained within.
King Arthur materializes a few feet away, his body appearing partially transparent but also surprisingly whole. The Hero-King glances around, then locks eyes with Amelia.
"Ah. Black Witch..."
Amelia slowly blinks her eyes. "Arthur."
Hope frowns.
"You know each other?"
"We fought." Arthur says. "A long time ago. She doesn't have the same aura anymore, that fearsome Hunger that used to be so evident on her face, but she was a terrible foe back in the day. I won't forget her for as long as I live."
Amelia faintly smiles. "I'm not 'technically' Amelia, if you must know."
She looks at Hope.
"Don't you remember? I'm the person who killed Arthur."
"WHAT?" Hope cries, leaning away from her. "No way! You never told me!"
"I didn't think I needed to. You have Jason's memories. Don't you remember when I summoned Arthur and Satan to fight Jason? I killed Arthur and seized his body, but I was unable to lay claim to his soul. So it entered Excalibur, leaving me with his mindless flesh-half."
"Black Witch." Arthur repeats. "Body thief. City eater. In the end, you met your demise. Now you're not even the same woman who slew me following my Greatest Sin. I hold no more animosity toward you."
"Yeah. I, or rather, the original Amelia, wasn't exactly in her right mind back then anyway." Amelia says, shrugging helplessly. "I kind of had a dragon inside me."
"Happens to the best of us." Arthur concludes.
Hope scratches his head. When he called his fiance here, he had completely overlooked her relationship with the Hero-King. In hindsight, it should have been obvious to him, making him feel a little foolish.
"Err, let's move on." Hope says, trying to wave away the slightly tense and awkward atmosphere. "Arthur! I brought you here because I've had something on my mind for a while now. Only now do I have the opportunity to make it happen."
The handsome golden-haired King crosses his arms and smiles. "Oh? Go on."
"I have a body for you. The perfect body." Hope says. "You can finally return to the real world to aid me by wielding Excalibur at its full power. I also plan to make bodies for all of the past Heroes, at least the ones who want them."
"Ah." Arthur says, immediately looking less interested. "Well, I appreciate the thought, young Hero, but my time is over. I've no interest in returning to a corporeal existence. I'd much rather continue to stay within the Divine Blade."
Hope grins. "I thought you might say that. But don't jump ahead of yourself! You've yet to see the body you can possess! And you don't have to possess it all the time. You could always jump into it during times of great danger. It would help me feel more at ease if you were available to help humanity."
"I don't really think it matters how suitable the body is." Arthur says, slowly shaking his head. "You misunderstand. I am undeserving of returning to reality. The sin I carry... the lives I've taken... I forfeited my right to be called a Hero. Let alone a Hero-King, such titles are unbefitting of me. I'm afraid I'll have to refuse."
Hope pauses. Slightly surprised by Arthur's insistence, he didn't expect the Hero-King to reject him so thoroughly.
"Well... look, just give the body a once-over, alright? Maybe you'll change your mind."
He pauses.
"Summon."
A moment later, Hope summons the Arthur Construct to his side from elsewhere in the Hall of Heroes. The Arthur Construct stands tall and proud, its physical appearance perfectly mimicking Arthur's soul-body. Even Amelia raises an eyebrow.
"It's a perfect replica of the man." Amelia says, before turning to Hope. "Well... except..."
"Haha..." Arthur laughs awkwardly. "You've gone to such an effort, it does make me feel a bit embarrassed to continue denying your request. This is indeed a mighty body."
"Right?" Hope says, suddenly feeling a little put-off by the looks Amelia and Arthur are giving him. "But you still don't want it?"
"I did not want the, ahem, the 'body' before, and that stands even more so now." Arthur says. "She's certainly a mighty warrior, to be sure."
"Right..." Hope says slowly. "Any particular reas- wait, did you say 'she'?"
Amelia and Arthur exchange glances.
The former Black Queen coughs into her fist.
"Ahem. Hope, uh... you... you do know there's a female soul inside of this body, right?"
"Huh?" Hope says, glancing at the construct, then back to the other two. "What do you mean? The construct is soulless."
Arthur squints at Hope, making a weird grimacing expression.
"Ahhh... so you haven't noticed. Well, that explains your... lack of manners. Indeed, there is a soul inside that body, boy. And it is female..."
Arthur turns his attention to the construct.
"I apologize for the Wordsmith's rudeness. He seems to be lacking in the... soul-sensing department."
The Construct says nothing. It slowly blinks, then nods at Arthur.
"You have a soul?" Hope asks, now visibly bewildered. "Can you speak?"
The Construct looks at Hope, then nods.
"But you've never said anything before!" Hope protests. "All this time!"
Finally, the construct opens its mouth.
"I did not feel comfortable doing so."
Finally hearing the Arthur Construct speak for the first time ever, Hope can practically feel his mind explode inside his skull. He stands up and stares in wide-eyed fascination.
"Well- I mean, I- I feel terrible! I've been talking about you all this time as if you were a robot or something!"
The Construct nods. "Yes. You were rude."
Despite its voice being masculine, as well as its appearance, Hope gets the impression the Construct might be... offended.
"Are you truly a woman?"
"I am." The Construct affirms. "And I do not like my appearance."
"Oh..." Hope mumbles.
Feeling a little dispirited, Hope scratches the back of his head.
"I wish you'd said something sooner. I didn't mean to give you a sense of... body dysphoria, or whatever."
"I didn't think you'd care." The Construct says slowly. "You needed a weapon. I am a weapon. I fight. I kill. That is all."
"Hope, you're such a jerk." Amelia teases. "I think you should make her look prettier, now."
Hope nods. "Would you... like to look more feminine?"
Immediately, the Arthur Construct takes a step toward Hope. She gets right in his face, her expression bland and unchanged.
"I would."
Hope takes a step back, feeling deeply intimidated by her stoic attitude.
"A-alright. Uh. One second..."
Hope closes his eyes to form a mental image of a female King Arthur. As he does, he happens to look inside his Mind Realm, where he sees King Arthur stifling a hearty laugh.
[The hell are you guffawing about?] Hope thinks. [WAIT! Did you know the whole time?!]
Solomon lets a little air escape his lips. [Pff. Pffff... yes... it was quite amusing, I must admit. Your inability to sense different types of souls is your funniest quality!]
[Dickhead.] Hope grumbles. [At least help me construct a new appearance for her.]
[Oh, certainly.] Solomon says. [I've been waiting for you to notice for ages! I already have one prepared.]
[You already had one... ugh.] Hope grumbles, even more annoyed.
He opens his eyes as images of a female face and body materialize in his mind.
"Appearance. Shift. Hair. Eyes. Face. Shoulders. Muscles. Torso. Breasts..."
He quickly fires off several dozen Words of Power, changing the female Arthur's body rapidly, causing her hair to become far longer, her eyes to expand, and her figure to become visibly more feminine.
After a full minute of transformation, Hope ceases his work. He glances at Amelia and Arthur, then back to the Construct.
"Well? What do you two think?"
Amelia blinks twice. Stars dance in her eyes. "Pretty..."
Arthur clears his throat. "So this is how I might have looked if I were born a woman, hm? I could fall for myself."
The new female Arthur stands just as tall and imposing as her original self. With a powerful, muscular body, she looks no less intimidating than Arthur himself. But now, her face appears much more beautiful and feminine, along with the rest of her body. Her long golden hair hangs down to her waist, and her sparkling blue eyes truly captivate one's imagination.
She turns to a nearby mirror hanging on the wall, then walks over to examine herself. After running her hands through her hair and lightly touching her face, she nods.
"Acceptable."
Hope chuckles. "You're not much for words, are you, uh..."
"Artoria." The Construct says. "My name will be Artoria. You will refer to me as such."
Despite her bland tone, Hope gets the impression she might actually be threatening him if he doesn't comply. He hurriedly nods.
"Right! Artoria Pendragon! We'll just say you're Arthur's... twin sister! How about that? Sorry for my earlier misunderstanding. I can be a tad dense sometimes."
Artoria walks over to Hope. She stares at him for a few seconds with the same unchanging, intense gaze she always does.
"Yes, you can. But I forgive you."
"Wow..." Hope mutters. "Somehow, you're way scarier when you talk."

I was recently laid off due to reduction in force and while I have time between jobs for hopefully the last time in my young life I'm hoping to do a little traveling. I'm looking into a 10-day Greece trip from California from April 24-May 4. My passport expires 8/29/23. Greece requires 90 days from expiry so I'm good there, but the flights I'm looking into stops in Istanbul for a 1-hour layover on both ends and I'm worried that may be a problem since Turkey has a 6-month from expiry passport requirement. Has anyone experienced transit through Istanbul with a passport expiring within 6 months, or has anyone been in a similar situation? Looking for any advice or anecdotes please!

And boy was that a fucking awful reminder of how I used to live, every day, for YEARS.
Woke up yesterday after that night of drinking and felt like death. Spent all day wondering if I smelled like alcohol, who.i called, what I said, who noticed.
No thank you. I left that life behind for a reason and I will not be going back to it.
I still have those 90 days. I still have all of that positivity and growth and change and I'm not going to let the other guy take that away from me.
IWNDWYT.

TIMESTAMP
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Please consider all items lightly used, although some may have close to zero use and some may have moderate use. I try to keep all of my items in good condition, and more often that not these products get used for one or two videos and then put back in their boxes.
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• Gigabyte Z790 Aorus Master $375
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• Razer Nommo Chroma Speakers $85

Bonjour à tous,
Le sujet récurrent d’airfrance en ce moment, c’est évidemment la police et ses exactions sa gestion laborieuse du maintien de l’ordre.
Aujourd’hui, je propose qu’on discute d’un autre sujet lié à la police (et à la gendarmerie) : les choix esthétiques qui sont opérés par ses membres ou ses instances dirigeantes.
Il ne vous aura pas échappé lorsque l’on parle de la police (et aussi surtout plus particulièrement de l’armée), qu’un certain nombre de mots appartenant au champ lexical animalier reviennent. Depuis les lanceurs cougar (lance grenade) utilisés par les CRS et gendarmes mobiles jusqu’à l’énorme ensemble de véhicules de l’armée qui possèdent des noms animaliers du type «hélicoptère écureuil » (gendarmerie) ou « hélicoptère tigre » (armée de terre), il y en a pour tous les goûts. Si on rajoute à ça les noms des opérations militaires française (genre Serval, Salamandre, Épervier, Licorne ou Sangaris (un papillon)), on en a une sacrée collection de vignettes Panini avec des animaux.
On en arrive à un point où les mecs vont bientôt devoir passer un brevet de zoologie ou avoir une expérience au zoo de Thoiry avant de s’engager chez les cognes ou dans l’armée.
Pourquoi je parle de ça ? Parce que justement, il y a quelques années, pour un projet artistique, je me suis intéressé aux écussons des différentes BAC de France et depuis là à l’esthétique policière en générale. Alors, je ne vais pas mettre de lien en particulier, mais il existe pas mal de sites de collectionneurs qui adorent collecter les différents écussons des BAC de France → https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-lm&q=collection+%C3%A9cusson+de+la+bac
Il est à noter que, d’après ce que j’ai compris, ces écussons ne sont pas officiels, ils ne doivent pas figurer sur les vêtements des policiers, ils sont juste tolérés par le hiérarchie.
On trouve aussi quelques site de fabricants.
Or, un des éléments qui revient ultra régulièrement dans ces différents écussons, c’est justement la présence d’animaux. Et pas n’importe lesquels (on y reviendra plus tard).
On a aussi d’autres éléments récurrents : des cibles, des mires de lunettes de fusil, des skylines de banlieues, des éléments nocturnes (la lune, les étoiles) et des références à la culture pop qui enfreignent probablement pas mal de lois sur le copyright (l’inspecteur Harry, le Punisher, le Coyote des cartoons Warner, le Xénomorphe d’Alien, la Panthère de René Chateau, Taz des cartoons Warner).
Je vous laisse vous faire une idée.
A noter que ces écussons existent aussi chez d’autres brigades ou compagnie.
L’ensemble de tout ces éléments rejoint une esthétique volontairement violente, angoissante, anxiogène. Typiquement, le combo « mire d’arme à feu + immeubles » porte en lui une narration déjà toute faîte : on braque littéralement les habitants des banlieues avec nos flingues.
Si on rajoute à cela certains symboles à la polysémie évidente comme le Croisé présent sur la BAC d’Élancourt ou encore la présence de Thor sur l’écusson de la CDI de Montpellier, on se retrouve avec des symboles plus que douteux (parce que non, on va arrêter la mauvaise foi d’entrée de jeu : les cognes ne sont pas des passionnés d’histoire ni de culture nordique pour leur grande majorité). On notera que la seule source que j’ai pour la BAC d’Elancourt vient d’un site de fabricant, donc ce que j’écris juste après est à prendre avec des pincettes (mais je ne vois pas pourquoi ce fabricant exhiberait cet écusson s’il ne l’avait pas fabriqué).
Oui, on ne va pas se mentir, quand on représente un Croisé, on sait très exactement à qui on s’adresse. On s’adresse avec connivence aux fafs qui ont depuis longtemps repris ces symboles de l’histoire européenne pour construire une esthétique islamophobe et raciste (cf la quantité astronomique de mème qu’on trouvait sur /pol/ avec un croisé justement). Et on s’adresse aussi aux jeunes des quartiers (quartiers où l’on retrouve plus de musulmans que dans le XVI à Paname) en leur envoyant un message assez clair qui se veut intimidant.
Sans ambiguïté aucune, les choix esthétiques opérés pour créer ces écussons ont pour but de porter plusieurs messages. Un message menaçant à l’encontre de ceux qui vont être amenés à rencontrer ces policiers dans un premier temps mais aussi deux autres types de messages. On va retrouver à la fois l’idée de « créer un esprit de corps » avec un langage commun et une esthétique commune (finalement, c’est aussi quelque chose que l’on retrouve chez les gangs, qu’il s’agisse des gangs américains (type Blood, Crips, Zetas…), des gangs européens (les groupes de skin, les Black Dragons ou les Ducky Boys dans les 80’s etc) ou encore de gangs fictifs (toute l’esthétique du film Les Guerriers de La Nuit / Warriors sorti en 79 est basée là-dessus). Enfin, le troisième message est une sorte d’esprit de concurrence entre différentes brigades quant à celle qui aura les visuels les plus badass (comme je déteste ce mot) et l’aura la plus impressionnante d’où une surenchère.
Revenons aux animaux. L’un des traits récurrents sur ces écussons est la présence de tout un bestiaire. On y retrouve énormément de fauves (panthères, tigres, guépard, lions…), énormément d’arachnides (scorpions, tarentules), beaucoup d’animaux nocturnes (hiboux, chauve-souris, loups) ou de rapaces (aigles, etc) ainsi que des animaux plus spécifiquement liés à la situation géographique de la brigade en question (spéciale dédicace aux dauphins de la BAC de Sète ou encore au scolopendre dégueulasse de la BAC de Mamoudzou à Mayotte).
Clairement, le choix de la majorité de ces animaux n’est absolument pas anodin. Il s’agit pour la grande majorité d’entre eux de prédateurs. On ne trouve (quasiment) pas d’herbivores, pas d’insectes inoffensifs, pas de rongeurs ou de poissons autres que des requins ou des espadons. L’immense majorité des animaux choisis a pour but d’inspirer une forme de crainte chez les personnes appréhendées et une forme de confiance en soi viriliste débile chez ceux qui portent ces écussons. Et à bien des égards, on est pas très loin de ce qui pousse Batman à choisir de s’habiller en chauve-souris. Dans les comics et les films il est expliqué que le but de Batman est de faire peur. Contrairement à Superman qui agit en plein jour, Batman est tapi dans l’ombre et cherche à inspirer la terreur chez ses ennemis. Le choix de son costume (dans la retro continuité) est lié à la terreur que Bruce Wayne a ressenti enfant en tombant dans une grotte remplie de chauve-souris.
On peut aussi noter que le le choix des arachnides se double d’un sens supplémentaire : les araignées que l’on retrouve en masse sont des animaux qui tissent des toiles pour piéger leurs proies et on trouve aussi beaucoup de toiles d’araignées sur les écussons. Clairement, il y a l’idée de « tendre un piège » aux malfrats comme l’araignée tends un piège à ses proies. Concernant les scorpions, on retrouve parfois les pinces du scorpions remplacées par des menottes stylisées. Et oui, c’est une référence au fait de « mettre les pinces » à quelqu’un.
Quoiqu’il en soit, ce qui se dégage de cette esthétique générale c’est un message clair : vous êtes la proie, nous sommes les prédateurs.
Ah bah c’est marrant ça, je pensais que la police devait assurer une mission de protection, c’est quand même bizarre d’adopter une telle esthétique…
On peut aussi souligner quelque chose : dans la nature, les prédateurs sont des prédateurs… parce qu’ils ne peuvent pas faire autrement. Les requins blancs végétariens, ça ne court pas les rues (ni les océans). Lorsqu’une araignée plante ses crocs dans l’une de ses proies pour l’empoisonner ou la digérer vivante, elle le fait parce qu’elle n’a aucun autre moyen d’assurer sa subsistance. Mais la BAC ? Et les cognes en général ? Ce sont bien des humains non ? Et comme dirait ce bon vieux Bébert : « Un homme ça s’empêche ».
Quand on fait partie des FDP (forces de police) ou des gendarmes, on est en mesure de s’empêcher d’user de violence. On n’est pas une tarentule, ou un tigre, ou un xénomorphe, on demeure un homme qui peut user de son choix ou non de faire usage de la violence. Le simple fait de choisir un symbole tel qu’un prédateur pour incarner une brigade en dit déjà long sur l’état d’esprit de ceux qui la composent.
Un autre élément intéressant à souligner concernant les patchs de la police… c’est celui-ci. Vous l’avez peut-être déjà vu passer. Alors, il y a déjà eu des articles à ce sujet parce que ce patch représente un animal en particulier : le chat noir de la CNT (Confédération Nationale du Travail). Je vous renvoie à cet article pour plus d’information.
Je cite : « Le chat est utilisé comme symbole contraire du chien, défenseur de l'ordre. Inversement, le chat noir symbolise la désobéissance et l'indépendance. Le chat anarchiste n'est pas non plus un chat domestique : il est maigre et efflanqué. Enfin, c'est un chat combatif, son poil est hérissé et il hurle. ». Et là, ça devient lunaire. Comme dirait Proudhon : « L’Anarchie, c’est l’ordre sans le pouvoir » et ce symbole est arboré par des policiers qui sont… le bras armé du pouvoir.
On atteint un degré de foutage de gueule intersidéral. J’ai longtemps cru que l’usage détourné de ce symbole par la police était une sorte de pied de nez cruel aux anarchistes, une façon de se foutre de leur gueule. Une manière de dire : « On vous réprime, on vous massacre et on se permet même de voler jusqu’à vos images ».
Et puis, je me suis souvenu du rasoir d’Hanlon, ce principe de raisonnement qui explique qu’il vaut mieux expliquer les erreurs par la bêtise que par la malveillance.
Après avoir lu cela, j’ai compris: "Dans chaque brigade, il y a toujours un chat noir [sous entendu un malchanceux], rien de plus", réagit sous couvert d'anonymat le créateur de l'écusson, contacté par franceinfo. Une rapide requête en ligne le confirme : l'animal désigne parfois les poissards de la police. "Nous ignorions sa symbolique et son histoire quand nous avons cherché un chat sur internet. Cet écusson humoristique et sans représentation administrative a été retirée de la vente."
La réalité c’est que la personne qui a réalisé l’écusson en question… est un imbécile doublé d’un inculte. Il faut quand même être le dernier des crétins pour ne pas réfléchir plus de trente secondes aux symboles que l’on choisit d’arborer.
Puisqu’on parle de l’appropriation de symboles par les membres des FDP, on pourrait aussi parler de la reprise récurrente du logo du Punisher. Je ne vais pas résumer le lore du personnage, tout est ici). Je laisse à votre curiosité le soin de lire les articles qui parlent de ce logo que l’on retrouve sur des matraques, des armures, des casques etc : ici.
Mais qu’est-ce que raconte la présence de ce logo ? Il est intéressant de voir les FDP utiliser ce logo sur les outils même qui leur servent à « maintenir l’ordre » (je mets des guillemets à dessein). Ce qui est intéressant c’est que d’autres personnages issus de comics sont bien plus populaires et pourtant ce ne sont pas eux qui ont été choisis (y compris sur certains des écussons dont je parlais plus haut). Regardons un peu les façons de faire de super-héros plus populaire (je prends des grands traits généraux communément admis, pas la peine de me sortir un obscur comics d’un lore alternatif pour me contredire). Que fait Batman ? Il collabore avec le commissaire Gordon, il lutte contre la corruption au sein de la police de Gotham, il livre les criminels à la justice et les malades mentaux à l’hôpital d’Arkham. En somme, c’est un justicier solitaire, mais ce n’est pas uniquement une brute comme d’autres, il s’en remets à la justice. Ses façons de faire sont critiquables (notamment l’intimidation, la torture et l’espionnage pour obtenir des informations) mais in fine, il livre quasiment toujours ses adversaires à la police. Que fait Spiderman ? Il empaquête les malfrats dans sa toile pour que les flics les récupèrent après. Que fait Daredevil ? Plus ou moins la même chose à une particularité près : l’identité civile de Daredevil est avocat et il lui arrive de défendre les criminels qu’il a arrêté lorsqu’il était masqué ou au contraire de se servir de son statut d’avocat pour servir son rôle de justicier masqué. Etc etc.
Alors, oui, il existe plein de super-héros aussi violent et vengeurs que le Punisher (ils se sont mis à pulluler dans les années 90), mais l’ensemble du monde super-héroique est au contraire plutôt porté sur la justice et non pas la vengeance. Et le thème de la responsabilité qui incombe aux personnes dotées de pouvoir est un thème qui traverse le monde des comics depuis plusieurs décennies. L’oeuvre entière d’Alan Moore est traversée par ce thème (Watchmen, V pour Vendetta, Judgment Day, Top Ten...). C’est aussi quelque chose que l’on va retrouver chez Marvel (l’arc narratif de Civil War par exemple) et aussi chez DC (tout le lore de Green Lantern, Kingdom Come, etc ).
Quoiqu’il en soit, le CHOIX parfaitement conscient fait par certains membres des FDP d’utiliser le logo du Punisher est très très loin d’être anodin. Revendiquer comme blason un personnage qui exécute les malfrats plutôt que de les donner à la police et à la justice est une décision qui est lourde de sens. Comme pour les écussons de la BAC, le but est de faire peur, d’intimider, de susciter la crainte. L’idée est de s’inventer un rôle à la Judge Dredd (personnage de comics lui aussi d’ailleurs), ce personnage qui est à la fois policier, juge, jury et bourreau. Le simple fait que des policiers exhibent le symbole du Punisher montre que ces personnes n’ont absolument pas compris quel était leur métier.
Pour terminer, on va parler d’un terme qui est passé dans le langage courant lorsque l’on désigne l’équipement des forces de l’ordre : le mot Robocop.
Alors oui, ce n’est pas un terme officiel ni un terme revendiqué par les forces de l’ordre, mais c’est néanmoins un terme qui est couramment utilisé par tout un chacun pour désigner les policiers caparaçonnés que l’on retrouve dans les manifestations. Il est devenu commun de faire référence au personnage du film de Verhoeven pour nommer les policiers entourés de leur armure. Et clairement, le fait que l’on nomme les choses ainsi est tout sauf un hasard. Comme dirait ce bon vieux Marcel : c’est le regardeur qui fait le tableau. De manière analogue, c’est le quidam qui désigne les cognes en armure avec ses propres mots qui les nomme. Et honnêtement, le fait qu’on désigne tous le même équipement par les mêmes mots en dit beaucoup plus sur l’équipement en question que sur ceux qui le nomment.
Si vous connaissez un peu une partie de l’œuvre grand public de Verhoeven (Robocop, Starship Troopers, Total Recall), vous savez à quel point son œuvre sarcastique traite des abus du pouvoir et dénonce régulièrement le fascisme et son esthétique. Et clairement, si on peut comprendre sans peine que les armures des policiers ont cet aspect pour des raisons avant tout pratiques et utilitaires (protéger les cognes, être léger et efficace, être intimidant), il semble assez évident qu’il est impossible que cette armure ait été adoptée par le Ministère de l’Intérieur pour protéger ses troupes sans que qui que ce soit parmi les décideurs n’ait pensé un instant au film Robocop. Autant dans le cas du concepteur du logo avec le chat noir, on avait à faire à quelqu’un de pas très futé qui manipule des signes sans en comprendre le sens, autant j’ai beaucoup plus de mal à croire une telle chose lorsqu’on parle des huiles du Ministère de l’Intérieur.
Et si on rappelle l’histoire de Robocop, on se souvient que dans le film, Robocop est censé être une sorte de cyborg doté d’un exosquelette métallique (spéciale dédicace à François Patriat) qui est dénué de tout sens moral et ne réagit que comme une machine. Le conflit intérieur du personnage tiraillé entre les ordres qu’il doit suivre aveuglément et les souvenirs humains de sa vie passée qui ressurgissent est au cœur du film. Et on a donc des décideurs au sein du Ministère de l’Intérieur qui se sont dit que c’était une extrêmement bonne idée de faire adopter à leurs troupes des équipements qui rappellent ce film. Bien joué les mecs !
Hey, en théorie, Robocop c’est censé être une dénonciation de la déshumanisation des policiers et de la violence, pas un mode d’emploi pour rendre ses troupes flippantes !
Alors effectivement, l’équipement utilisé par les FDP doit répondre à un certain nombre de contrainte. Et il est évident que répondre à ces contraintes prévaut sur l’aspect esthétique. Néanmoins, il est inconcevable que les boss du Ministère n’aient pas pensé un instant à ce que renvoyait l’équipement choisi.
Allez, je vous laisse là-dessus ! La prochaine fois, on parlera du champ lexical viriliste employé par les forces de l’ordre à l’encontre des gens qu’ils interpellent ou violentent.
TLPL : les fringues des FDP et des gendarmes sont pas glop.