Who should i start week 12
2008.03.28 15:00 Astronomy
The amateur hobby of humanity since the dawn of time and scientific study of celestial objects.
2017.04.07 16:54 kirbizia bonehurtingjuice
Bone hurting juice memes are memes that are out of context and misuse the template completely. Imagine you're a 10 year old kid who just discovered the internet a week ago and your only exposure is iFunny. It's like that. Here is the original for reference: https://www.reddit.com/bonehurtingjuice/comments/640w0f/the_original/
2011.01.01 18:54 52 Book Challenge
A subreddit for the participants of the 52 Book Challenge (one book per week for a year) to discuss their progress and discoveries.
2023.06.05 02:52 duhmbish How many calories would be considered “too much” for a malnourished cat that is recovering?
•Approx 8 years old
•6.9 lbs (but vet says he should be closer to 12)
•1mL Clavamox 2x a day
•1mL Gabapentin up to 2x a day
•150cc fluids 1x per day subcutaneous
I don’t have a lot of information on him since he was just rescued from the streets on May 31st. You can see my previous post about him here. He has severe wounds that he is healing from.
I gave this “Virbac Rebound” supplement
to one of my own pets when she was I’ll and it helped her out a lot. I am wondering if I could give this to Gus, the malnourished cat or if the calories are too much to be safe? I don’t want to overload the calories. Here is a photo of the ingredients
It states: 13.8 kcal / 30 mL 453.1 kcal / kg
Dosage is shown as: • < 9lbs (24mL per day) • 9-13lbs (36mL per day) • 13-18lbs (48mL per day)
Would this be ok to add to his daily supplementation of wet food for the next few days?
I am working with a rescue and a vet, but he is not in the office for a few days and would like to know if I should order some and then get confirmation from his vet. Thanks!
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2023.06.05 02:39 James_Scotch Today I heard that I'm unable to go to my uni's introduction week.
So this might come over like a little vent (and it might be the underlying tone) but. Today my mother told me (20m) that she planed (in December) the family vacation during the first 6 days of the 9 day introduction week of my dutch uni. Well frik me since I was looking forward to the introduction week (a big networking event for the first year students to meet higher years and see what one can do on the uni outside of studying) A big part of the programme is already known and it states that on day 1 and 2 the first year students will meet each other and seniors students of the uni in order to group up for the team building activities and parties in the following days. I already find it really annoying that I cannot come to the introduction week for the first 66% of that event and now knowing that main meet and greet stuff have been completed the first 2 days am doubting a lot if I should even bother to go. I feel like I would be an "awkward Andie" going to the final three days with my shyte social skills. (The fact that the dutch friend groups are impossible to break into is also not helping.)
To come to my question : Should I go to these last three days of intro with the (in my opinion big) chance of my feeling coming true or should I just take the "L" and don't go? (or you have another piece of advice regarding this, that is also welcome.)
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2023.06.05 00:32 Sonicdasher47 playstation 2 blue discs wont start
im not sure whats going on with it but my blue copy of road trip adventure fails to start. ive went and opened up the console, taken the part with the laser out, tightened the connections, and cleaned the dust off it. after i even tried to do the "flip" method. (flip the console upside down i guess).but still i turned up with nothing. what should i do?
model number SCPH-79001
serial number H U 5 2 9 1 0 8 4
if any of that helps
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2023.06.05 00:06 msinsky Pain in right side of neck artery
Male, 33, 5ft10in 210lbs white no medications. Appendectomy 1 year 9 months ago. Smoke sometimes About 5 days ago I woke up with pain on the right side of my neck. Can feel it when stretching neck or when checking pulse. Pulse is directly where pain is and is slightly swollen. I’ve been getting lightheaded/ weak feeling in legs but also have anxiety that causes some weird body pains. Wondering if I should go to the er? My gp is booked for 2 weeks.
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2023.06.04 23:43 SurrealmsShorts Is it worth promoting videos?
I started up a surreal/horror channel a month or two ago and have been uploading shorts regularly and squeezing in longer videos when I can.
However, one of my recent shorts and one of my videos, which I feel are actually some of my best work, are stuck at 16 and 75 views respectively. Meanwhile, my lowest effort videos are reaching between 8.5 - 5 thousand views.
Even though these numbers aren’t crazy high, it’s bothering me that the videos I think are lower quality are performing so much better than videos I think could do really well. Is it worth trying to promote the videos I believe in? Instead, should I try editing them a tad to make improvements and reupload? Or should I stop overthinking it and just ignore the poor performance?
Any tips would be greatly appreciated! If you’d like to check out my channel for reference you can find the link in my bio.
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to NewTubers [link] [comments]
2023.06.04 22:43 brettlester333 Mother-in-law in hospital for a week, a distant family member staying with her is acting extremely suspicious with history of drug abuse
TLDR at the bottom.
My (27M) mother-in-law (92F) is in the hospital for at least the next week getting treatment, her nephew (50 possibly 60 M) has been staying with her the last few months but as of late has been acting strange, & neither me nor my wife (26F) know him that well.
First off, my mother-in-law is my wife's adoptive mother. She adopted my wife's birth mother, then my wife at age 12 after her birth mother was deemed incapable of caring for her daughter. I'll refer to her as my mother-in-law or my wife's mom. Secondly, my wife is her mom's power of attorney.
My mother-in-law is infamous for being naive, letting people take advantage of her for my wife & I to come clean up the mess. We've tried to get her to move in with us, or move into assisted living near our home but she refuses. She's still of sound & mind about 80% of the time, she handles all her own finances, groceries, takes care of three cats & a dog, usually without help because she doesn't allow anyone to.
But if an outcasted family member (usually from drugs, being abusive, or both) comes along with a sob story, she opens the door & lets them either live with her or come in anytime they want. Currently it's her nephew, who at the time of letting him in, had recently made an attempt at his own life.
He used to be a contractor & actually spent most of his time fixing up things around her house, the main project being her fireplace. Since then he has started working on clearing out the garage, one that my deceased father-in-law had hoarded an unfathomable amount of junk in, along with possible sentimental or even valuable items. It's kind of like a few golden needles in the biggest hay stack I've ever seen.
While my mother-in-law has been in the hospital, he's continued to clear out the garage & also had two men we've never met before in her backyard. I confronted them & the other two men left, while her nephew became suddenly emotional about his aunt's wellbeing, & also about me being slightly suspicious of him continuing to clear out the garage while she's in the hospital. Any time it's brought up that we just want to make sure nothing of sentimental or monetary value owned by her is mistakenly hauled off, he thinks we're accusing him of stealing & begins to cry.
On top of that issue, according to my wife & my mother-in-law's sisters, he has been sleeping most of the day & up all night. He wouldn't even wake up when they first took her to the hospital, only after to be upset that the stray dog he'd picked up had been accused of trying to bite family members while trying to get all the pets out of the living room before the paramedics to showed up. He also claimed to believe that the next day my wife & her mom were sleeping in her room all day, & that he didn't know she was in the hospital.
I talked to him on my own, appearing more open so he would talk to me & most of everything he said contradicted what happened or what I had heard from my wife or her aunts.
He has somewhat of criminal history & drug abuse, currently has warrants in a different county for fishing without a license & driving an ATV on private property. My wife looked into his room, which is her old room when she lived at home that actually still has some of her stuff in the closet. She saw a few strange items (a torch, a butter knife, notepads with stuff scribbled all over & several pens, some sort of red light newly installed on the wall) & it was so messy the entire floor was occupied with stuff. But no actual proof, because she didn't want to search the room & alarm him.
Lastly, we found the deed to her home, another property she owns, & something called a "quit claim deed" that was blank, all in a plastic sack on her kitchen table this morning. This was not there yesterday. We took that with us on our way to the hospital today.
I may be leaving out some details, I spent about an hour typing this to make sure I got everything right, but it's been a long three days. My wife has dealt with her brother as an addict, & her birth mother before she passed away. But this situation is completely new to both of us & are not entirely sure what to do, or what we even can do before something goes wrong. We're also worried even if we do get him out of the house, that she'll let him right back in when she gets better. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
TLDR: My mother-in-law is in the hospital, her nephew is being suspicious as far as her property & what's on it, also is possible back on drugs. My wife is her power of attorney, & are looking for advice on what we can or can't do about getting him out of the house permanently.
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2023.06.04 22:17 mellabarbarella I hung up on my mom
I unfollowed this sub years ago because I let myself be convinced that my mom was trying her best and I am to blame. After getting a very illuminating autism diagnosis a few months ago (+ ADHD at 14 - 34f), I’m feeling pretty good about not doubting myself anymore, but narc moms gonna narc. Super long rant ahead TW: for childhood and financial abuse and questionable animal care
For context, I’m the middle of three girls, and the only one to move out, and my dx explained the lifetime of shame from my toxic family. Like when I was 10, I remember saying how excited I was to move out and be an adult when I graduated high school, and the following trademark twist-pinch my mom is known for, when she told me I made my dad sad for wanting to ever move out. Like fuck stupid ass 10yo me, right?
I’m working through shaking off the 34 years trauma. My parents haven’t always been well off, but probably have been since my teens. My mom works hard as a breadwinner, and never lets me forget how hard I need to work to have even half what she’s been able to provide for us…or that I’m bad with money.
I’ve done ok for myself, and things were good enough with her that when I needed to move back home last year after a nasty (police involved) breakup and living alone during most of the pandemic, they let me. I offered rent, they promised they just wanted me to be safe and refused. I said only 1 year max, but delayed moving out to find the right place. I moved last month. My younger sister (29) though, left her 2 dogs to go abroad to finish her bachelor’s last August and my autistic ass couldn’t let her old dog die in my parents care. They spend $1k on bed sheets, but think it’s idiotic to pay a vet more than $50.
She’s back at the end of the month, and holy hell if keeping her old dog alive (“Methuselah” as he’s well past life expectancy), while having to ignore big younger dog (“Pepper” too much shedding, poor training, parents keep her exclusively outdoors even in rain and yell at me for bringing her in), hasn’t been the most stressful thing on top of working full time. Methuselah sleeps 20 hrs a day and is pretty healthy, but prone to bladder stones I’ve found out 2000 stressful dollars later.
I wanted to take Pepper with me too when I moved, but Lil Sis saw an ig post I made with Pepper (I tagged her) while I was taking measurements and ratted on me to mom saying Pepper is too stressed out, so I can’t take her for 6 weeks. Why? Pepper’s tail was down in the picture. Who cares I got everything I’d need for an at-home grooming salon to deshed her that same day or that she hasn’t had a bath in 3 months? Apparently I sure as fuck shouldn’t because I “act like I know everything” too much.
I haven’t asked for a dime until yesterday because I’m now financially bruised from spending ~$2500 on the two dogs that aren’t mine over the past 10 months (I added up the “pet” and “vet” charges because my budget was wonky, so that’s an estimate).
Yesterday, I asked my mom for only $1000 to help split the care costs with my folks because of course, Lil Sis is broke and I finally realized how fucked up it is for them to expect me to eat all those costs and delay my life plans for someone else’s dogs.
Mom gave it to me immediately, while arguing that I moved in with my bf so I shouldn’t need to be reimbursed if he’s pulling his weight and I chose to take care of Methuselah because no one asked. She and Lil Sis literally cornered me and Big Sis (blocking hallway path) about dog care two days before Lil Sis left, but she somehow doesn’t remember. How convenient.
I thanked her and left, but she called me a couple hours later to keep up the barrage of insults.
I hung up on her because when I answered, she opened with “how dare you…”
It was the first time and fuck did it feel good. Even if she called me r-word for autistics in text after because I asked to be partially reimbursed. Not to be paid a fee for sitting, not for the cats I want to get, but to be partially reimbursed for keeping Methuselah alive.
I finally told her she needs a better therapist and to read up on financial abuse.
Family should be expected to take care of their siblings pets for free my ass. Fuck that noise. I do want any feedback because I’m struggling with the guilt: I did volunteer to take care of the dog, but am I wrong for asking to split the cost?
Thanks for letting me vent, apologies if this is the wrong place, but I tried to do a throwaway AITA post and am done feeling shame, so if Lil Sis sees this - sup?
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2023.06.04 21:50 BigDamnHero246 Glock KP-13 not cycling after few shots
I have a glock KP-13, when i start shooting its fine, but after like 5-10 shots fired, it doesnt want to cycle anymore. It cycles only half way back and i need to pull it and then it fires and then it happens again.
The mag gets cold so i tryed to warm it in my hands and it works for another 5-10 shots (temperature was around 20°C).
The gun is lubed and clean and i use green gas (it should work under 5°C).
Should i use stronger gas?
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to airsoft [link] [comments]
2023.06.04 21:39 Safe-Fix2823 I'm unsure
This is my first time posting here so I'm kind of scared
I am in 9th grade and ever since September of this year I just randomly started to become anti social for some reason. I began drifting away from friends and I really did nothing about it because I just started to not care anymore. I done this only because I was afraid of getting into the wrong crowd. After around a couple of months went by I lost some friends and I still do know people and we may speak from time to time but time and time again I fail to connect with people on a deeper level. Its just hard for me to connect with people nowadays because I am afraid to put myself out there and actually make an effort to connect with people because nobody has the same interests as me so it makes it hard to really get a conversation going and actually hold one and it only makes it worse that I hang out with my brothers friends who are 9 years older than me. It just truly shows how desperate I really am.
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2023.06.04 20:53 Busy_Initiative_8202 Originally posted 7 days ago, removed for some reason? UPDATE
"Getting in touch with my late father's boyfriend
Apologies in advance that this is a very very long post, and my writing may be difficult to understand as English is not my first language. Somebody said that I speak weird last time I posted, so I've written this in advance and I think it sounds a bit novelly. I made it worse by being conscious of it haha
A little while ago I posted about my father's passing, and the reveal at his funeral that he'd not only been seeing a male escort of around my age, but that he'd been seeing him for 20 years and left him money in his will. Fuck tons of it. Kind of evidence that, though their relationship had started off as transactional, it certainly hadn't stayed that way.
Please read the original post on my profile
There's a lot more context, and I explained everything that I knew at the time in my comments section to various different questions.
Honestly the comments under that post were totally overwhelming. I felt like I was switching constantly between defending my father, and then defending the man he'd been seeing, and then defending myself to those who believed my hang ups surrounding this situation were anything to do with my opinions of sex work or the LGBT community.
I'd like to clarify from here that both of those groups have my full support. I don't care about the inheritance issues that my family have clung to in this time. Some things I worded poorly, and I think it came off like I was trying to reduce their relationship, or them, even, to just homosexuality and sex work. I apologise, I was processing a lot.
All I cared about was what this relationship meant about my father. Whether the age gap within it meant that he had victimized this man in any way, and needing some time to process the fact that my father had been - quite literally - living a double life that I'd known nothing about.
All I learned from making that post was that people on the internet are venomous, from all angles. I found that the most helpful opinions were those from other sex workers, who both commented and messaged me personally. I'm sure that much of this backlash is thanks to the stigma surrounding terms like prostitute, but it's worth mentioning that I'd never intended to reduce this man to sex work, and my mention of details like his sexuality, this side of his work life, and the money, were mostly to provide context for how he must be coping, and how this has generated such a scandal in my very conservative family.
I sincerely apologise for any damage I may have caused.
On to now
I'll be calling my father's boyfriend David, this isn't his true name.
About five days passed between my post and deciding to finally get in contact with David. I didn't expect him to answer my call, because my extended family have been harassing him since the funeral, so I'd imagine that any call from an unknown number is black listed in his mind. If he hadn't picked up, I would've sent him a very cautious text message and all but prayed that he see it.
I was almost in tears dialling his number, and I'm sure he could've heard the breaks in my voice. I told him who I was, and basically begged him not to hang up. He listened to me fumble my words asking him if he wanted to go for a coffee with me, sort of clumsily explaining that I just wanted to understand who he was to my father. I really was not expecting him to be as warm to me as he was, but he agreed to see me, and he didn't sound at all angry with me.
We met at a very quiet coffee place a couple days later. It was his choice, something about knowing the owners, so they may have known exactly what our situation was and who I was.
The version of him who attended my father's funeral was very different from the version of him who I met for coffee. He dressed a lot more casually, his hair was a little messy, and he honestly looked like he'd been spiralling just as much as I had. He was polite and well mannered, just not as glamorous as I imagine he'd usually be. I say glamorous, I was criticized for that last time too. Maybe I mean put together? He was still attractive, but clearly a man in crisis.
I had so many questions, but also this intense fear that asking them would be prying. The easiest and most sensible thing to start with was just How was he coping?
And the answer was evident. David told me things that I already knew. He asked the same thing, and it seemed like we were on pretty much the same page.
I wanted to know if him and my father had real feelings for eachother, what he could tell me about him and this side of his life that I hadn't already known, why he'd kept this from me, why my mother and my sister knew. Though I have to admit that the way I went about asking these questions wasn't as tactful as I'd have liked.
David stopped me part way through my confused word vomit and told me he'd just explain everything about who he was to my father, from the top. I'll relay that back to you, minus any details that I feel may be identifying
David comes from a very poor area of our country, and had been made homeless at 16. He'd exchanged sexual favour with adult men for a place to stay, and couch surfed at times. He covered this quite briefly, maybe because it showed on my face how horrified that I was. He said that he'd worked through these things since he was a teenager, and that my father was actually a part of what helped him do that, but it was horrifying to hear
He said that from this background, he'd built up a lot of walls around himself, and that he'd gotten in to sex work at 18 as a result of all of these - what essentially are - assaults. Because his job wasn't paying him enough to live, and he thought something along the lines of "well, it's not that different"
He's only a year older than me, and I can't help but compare my situation at the time, which was very comfortable and safe, to the things that David had to cope with at such a young age.
He'd been mostly escorting when my father found him. Apparently my father had been using escorts for a while, mostly men, but never anybody that young. He hired him once as an escort, and then asked him if he'd take money just to be taken on a date. David agreed, and tells me that there was genuine chemistry beyond sexual preferences. From there, my father became his "sugar daddy."
He says that it was a chance that my father took on him, not expecting anything to come from it. Something about wealthy men seeking a sugar baby, though the wealthiest men will just see escorts and "sugar" the ones that they have the most chemistry with, all because they're short of time. This was true of my father, as he was a very busy man.
Eventually he told my father the reason that he'd started escorting, being poverty and his past experiences, and that's when my father began to invest the most in his relationship
My father used to travel a lot for work, and sometimes just for leisure. David gave examples of those times, and almost every single trip that I can remember my father mentioning over the last twenty years, whether abroad or domestic, every single one, my father had had David brought with him or to him throughout. He had David brought with him everywhere despite both of them having busy schedules in the end. They'd have fancy dinners or attend events together. My father wasn't trying to hide David from anybody but us, he showed him off whenever it was safe to do so. He'd shown him the world.
They had cover stories for countries that were more homophobic than ours, or for important people who may have been able to get news back to our family.
He said that, after the first year or so, they weren't really certain what direction they were going in. If they were just a business relationship anymore. He says these sorts of arrangements tend to expire after a certain amount of time, but that his and my father's just sort of never did. Even watching my father's health decline, David stayed by him.
My father had given him outs of their relationship if ever he'd wanted to take them, gifted him enough cash to keep him going for months, invested in his career as a performer, and helped him make contacts in a range of industries. David is multi talented, can play many instruments, speak many languages, and is intelligent enough that he could've done a range of other things. He told me he'd also seen other clients in this time, who my father knew about and was ok with, and my father had seen other escorts, but that they always came back to eachother. He could have left, he didn't want to.
He said that my mother discovered their relationship when he was 27, so 9 years after it had began. My parents had been married for 19 years, and my father had been seeing escorts before he found David, so I can't imagine how it must have felt for my mother to discover that, for a probable majority of her marriage, my father had been unfaithful. She found out through my father's banking. He never used their shared account, though some paperwork was mixed up. She asked him about some of the payments within it, som cash withdrawals, and she learned more from there.
My mother and David had met, in a similar context to how I had now met him. He said my mother had yelled at both, him, and my father, but that he didn't hold it against her, and eventually they were able to become something close to friends. They'd been in contact more often since the funeral.
My mother is a very fiery woman, with a strong sense of justice. She was angry with my father for, essentially, lying to her for all of that time, but was able to understand why he did it as a gay man in a very taboo relationship. She was even angrier about their age difference. Relationships in our circles can be very political, and it was safer for my father to put on a front of a loving, straight marriage, than to come out. David was well aware, and understanding of this. My mother was not forgiving about the other escorts either. It seems that her understanding was something built up over years of sort of getting to know David, rather than something that she initially saw no issues with.
I believe she still loved my father in some capacity until the day that he died, and I think that may be why she agreed to keep his secret. It's the kind of information that can really destroy somebody's life, and they particularly didn't want me to know because of the closeness in age between me and David. Only my sister was trusted with this information because she was something of a confidant for my mother by this time. She's a very doting person, though she's older than David, so I imagine her feelings at the time were even stronger than mine. She's helped me a lot with processing those feelings
I made a point to mention that I hadn't expected David to be as accommodating for me as he had been. He hadn't even needed to answer my call. He showed me some of the recent history on his phone. Many calls, text messages, and even death threats had been coming from people who knew my father. Some of those numbers were numbers that I had saved. Family members who I've heard say disgusting things about David since the funeral.
Ultimately I believe David became a life partner for my father, whether taboo or no. I was grateful that he allowed me to get to know him at least in the context of my late father, and I'd like to make some kind of friendship with him. He has invited me to see the apartment that my father had been paying for, and I'm going to. Id like to see this man accepted into my family, but I know now that that isn't going to happen for some. I will be introducing him more officially to my wife and children, though.
In David's own words, my father was the only thing tying him to this country, so I imagine he's going to take his career elsewhere. Hopefully somewhere that is safer for people like him
I will keep in touch, and I'm going to try and make him feel as welcome as possible before he leaves. He is always welcome with us should he ever come back. I don't care if it gets me denounced by half of my family, I am not the coward that my father was accused of being.
Thank you for reading this far"
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2023.06.04 20:48 Low-Swimming1103 Which site gives honest benchmark results for all kinds of pc hardware?
I used to look at userbenchmark.com but after watching a video of Linus tech tips where he mentioned something like “I want to delete that garbage site” I started to look for other sources and many many share the same opinion where that site is heavily biased towards intel. Now I just look at YouTube videos and look for real live comparison but then again who can ensure that those results are legit. So you as experts, what do you suggest if I want to compare cpu, gpu, ram etc.
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2023.06.04 20:39 TreacleWorried Gamepad Mapper / Android
How should I begin? Well basically I have a wired gamepad (DualShock2) connected to a generic ps2 to usb adapter which is connected to a Sabrent usb to type-c adapter which is plugged into my Galaxy A50. Mantis Gamepad Pro recognizes everything perfectly and calibration was a piece of cake. Now to start the Mantis Buddy thing it wont start because its asking to pair wireless but my controller is a DualShock2 (wired) which it already recognized and perfectly calibrated. This is so frustrating because I thought I finally found a gamepad mapper that works. Any help would be really really appreciated.
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2023.06.04 20:37 No-Payment-5363 22F and 23M from out of town
I am a 22F and met a 23M last night at the bar. He is from out of town and knows one of the my college friends (we aren’t that close for context but hang out at least once every three weeks). Was totally vibing last night and holding my hand on the dance floor. I think he lives in DC (could be cap tho) and I live in NYC. Is it worth texting our mutual friend — who I am not that close with — for his information or just letting this one go. I really liked but don’t want to be embarrassed for someone who lives 3 hours away. Just scared of looking like a fool lol. Is it worth reaching out to my friend to get his number?
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2023.06.04 20:18 kwrcst mid 2012 MBP no audio
I have a mid 2012 MBP 13" with the dual core i7. I purchased this new many moons ago and have decided to start using it again. I have it connected to my PHL 498P9Z Display using a thunderbolt to HDMI cable but I do not have any audio. I've been to the sys pref page and the only output device shown is the internal speakers. I went to the MIDI controls and only see built in speakers. I have tried about everything I can think of and not sure what to do now. everything I read says it should show up. I use switch Res X to upscale my resolution to fit the ultra wide display but I don't see any options there that limit audio.
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2023.06.04 19:38 ranc1 Paradox of vulnerability
Someone commented the importance of being fragile - and we get conflicting messages from medical community such as CBT and self help books and trauma community. First of all - narcissists hate vulnerability - because this exposed their fragile ego, fragile self worth and fake persona that they try to hide away from others. So obviously - we need to be vulnerable in order to be healthy. Self-help books and CBT will instructs us on the other hand to be "Strong" and "Courageous" and that we face our fears and expose to society and life. This way CBT is instructing us to fuse our persona with our emotions - which is extremely dangerous: our emotions and feelings are fleeting - so we cannot base our self worth on something that can change on a whim. Also, feelings and emotions are sometimes misleading - we might feel scared - and due to inability to process this emotion we might interpret it as us being weak - while in reality this emotion might be anger. This is recipe for becoming hysterical and to fake pretend to be "strong" in order to assert our "power" - highly ineffective. There is always someone else who is more hysterical and when we make others around us people afraid - we will never make functional contact with anyone.
Some self-help books about "people pleasing" themes will instruct us to believe that being vulnerable means being people-pleaser and that we must be aggressive in order not to be taken advantage of. This "advice" will lead us to develop attachment issues, problems with trusting other people. We will start to build walls and isolate ourselves from others - highly ineffective.
There is a quote from Italian movie "L'arcano incantatore (1996)":
Weakness is fundamental in enabling the mind not to oppose signals from 'outside'.
So that is the paradox - if we are trying to be confident and strong by covering up any sign of being weak - we will become weak. Yet if we do not mind being "weak" - we won't make progress, since we won't have incentive to make progress. If we do not issue with something, we won't know what needs to be fixed. With trauma and exposure to toxic people - there is nothing wrong with us. There is nothing to fix inside us. Yet - we do have anxiety issues and panic and toxic shame and trauma triggers and fawning issues - so there is something that needs correction and a "fix". These after-effects stem from the abuse: evil people have chosen us as their target to attack. Evil people do this because they are evil, it is not because there is something wrong with us inside. When evil people are evil - we will develop reactions to abuse, similar to the body reacting to the virus. The fever, skin rash, immobility, pain, immunity issues - these are all effects of virus on our body - it is not that our body is abnormal and sick by itself - it means it is attacked by a virus. CBT will instruct us that we are sick as we are - that we have "cognitive distortions" and that our brain is hallucinating the "virus", that abuse does not exist. This way CBT will instruct us to develop toxic shame, deep core belief that we distrust ourselves, distrust our reactions, distrust our natural ways how we react to external stimuli - and CBT will instruct us to gaslight our reality and that we depend on other people to explain us what is reality. When in fact - we need immunity: deep core belief that we can trust our eyes and feelings and senses - what is happening that it is not hallucination, and that we can know that we can rely on our self worth and our brain and thinking patterns - even though when they are in survival mode due to abuse and exposure to narcissistic abuse, which CBT claim is non-existent for the socially anxious.
Even in Rejection Sensitivity - CBT will claim that our rejection can be imagination and real one - but in reality - we can clearly differentiate triggers and flashbacks with reality. When we have perceived threat of being rejected - it will feel differently than when someone is abusive and intrusive, unfair and when they make false accusations against us and when they are critical to us as a way to put us down and destroy our reputation. When we do not have self worth - we will soak up CBT explanations and we won't oppose to their definitions. Then we will become insecure in ourselves - and this is toxic shame.
When we have toxic shame - we will develop External referencing locus of control and this will end up as codependency and trauma bonding, more anxiety and more panic, since our explanation of reality will depend on other people - who will be toxic and dangerous - since only those types of people will parasite on someone who fawns to people.
The paradox of being vulnerable is placing us on two sides: to be passive and doing nothing hence being "weak", or that we oppose being "weak" by learning how to resist toxic people which is only possible by being monsters as they are. We will encounter stoic information about being silent and that we do not waste our energy to toxic people. Or another take is to be assertive and to express our opinion without rage - none of those work in real life. That's because toxic people are not problem with our persona or feelings or beliefs. Evil people abuse others because they are evil and have agenda or they simply feel good when they torture others.
So instead of being vulnerable or being strong - I would rather work on awareness - so that we know what is going on. Similar to learning about a virus - so that we know what is the best way to avoid catching a disease as preventive measure or learning how to make our body immune so that it can destroy virus without destroying our body in the process of extermination.
I would focus on a belief that we must be silent in order not to spend energy on narcissistic bait - where toxic people will insult others in order to elicit emotional reaction which they harness later when we react in drama to their drama. The real problem is our toxic shame which is already inside us. This means - when we are in contact with someone toxic - our panic reactions will come out, we won't be able to talk even if we want to. We will be in survival mode and amygdala hijacking - so we will temporary lose memory and ability to come up with wit and thoughtful response. Instead - we will be triggered into Freeze and Fawn. Socially anxious will always go into silence - because if we would have chosen Fight response - we would talk and express our emotions - even in dysfunctional way- and this way we would eventually learn to express ourselves all the time - and with time social anxiety would be replaced with some other disorders such as Borderline where we would be stuck in drama. But the social anxiety would be gone. Social anxiety itself is being silent and not expressing ourselves. That is what gives birth to free reign of inner critic inside us - which will activate rumination and intrusive thoughts and worry before the event, during the event and after the event. If there was no problems, our inner critic will dismiss such event as fluke and focus on the next potential catastrophe or it will replay past incidents.
So I would focus on talking and expressing ourselves. This is one barrier that we need to look at. Due to past trauma and exposure to emotional abuse - we learned to be silent and to fix other people and to be focused on their drama. When we try to fix others - we won't be able to criticize them back and give honest facts - since most abusive people will react in anger when the truth is presented to them.
When we shut up, when we are silent, even with good intentions such as not rocking the boat and not engaging in narcissistic bait - we are unwittingly creating no boundaries ambient. And that is what will attract toxic people over and over again. We might cut contact, relocate - only to find new pests that we attract like moth to a flame. This happens because we do not have boundaries. With self help and CBT we get wrong definitions of boundaries. We are being told that having boundaries means explaining and interpreting and having a presentation to someone who is toxic, pathological liar and delusional and someone who cannot process the reality nor truth. So of course this CBT advice will not work in real life. Boundaries are everything that will come to life when we speak up. Our words will create boundaries. Words don't have to be perfect. They don't even have to address the problem. With social anxiety we are simply silent all the time. We do not express our thoughts, we don't speak up our truth, our objections - due to programming and punishments before. When we do not speak up -we also never express our dislikes. Dislikes were also punished in dysfunctional ambient when we were growing up - so we were punished when we would say something we do not like, we were mocked and bullied because we rejected something over and over again. When we do not voice out our dislikes - there are no boundaries, and we automatically become pushover and toxic people will sniff it out and exploit us. When we do speak up - they will have perfect reasons why we are wrong - and we will shut up and never mention it again. When we learn about narcissistic abuse -we learn that narcissistic predatory personalities will always accuse their target of some false allegations and false accusations. Their accusations will be based on their hunch, intuition, imagination, delusion which appear real in their heads, something that is not measurable, it is not quantifiable, it cannot be evaluated, proven or disproven in scientific way - and they will feel entitled to be the ones who explain what is wrong. And since we were programmed in childhood to obey and fix other people's real or imagined problems - instead of speaking up and seeking the truth - we will automatically try to fix problems which they create out of nothing. We will be healthy and follow ethics and moral standards - that we fix our mistakes - and toxic people will always find mistakes and something wrong that we did. Then we will end up in hamster wheel of chasing their approval and validation - which satisfies their narcissistic supply needs. The only way out is speaking.
When we naturally speak out, when we are honest and authentic, when we no longer cover up "bad" parts of ourselves (our errors, mistakes, flaws and imperfections) - when we voice it out - we won't attract toxic people in our private lives, in our private space - since narcissists seek those who carry toxic shame inside them. Carrying toxic shame means feeling contaminated whenever there is some kind of anger or error occurring.
We heal toxic shame by embracing our "bad" parts that we believe are wrong and stupid and anything but perfect. We will notice that when we are silent - we imagine the perfect ideal way to talk and how life ought to be - so when we start to voice out our opinion, when we start to express ourselves - we will notice that we have a lot of errors, again and again, some we will repeat and never learn to correct them because we don't know how. This takes self worth to take care of bad parts of ourselves which need care and compassion from ourselves, patience and parenting - instead of invalidation and suppressing and ignoring. This part of sticking up for our clumsy and embarrassing parts of our Self is the true definition of being vulnerable. When we accept our imperfections and clumsiness and errors - we won't get triggered into survival mode anymore - and this means we will have more energy and focus on actually being better - and that is the paradox:
Carl Rogers: “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself, just as I am, then I can change.”
Real liberation comes not from glossing over or repressing painful states of feeling, but only from experiencing them to the full. Carl Jung
Carl Jung Psychology and Philosophy 🧠, TWITTER: The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.
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2023.06.04 19:38 behraoui77 The Profit Code OTO 1 to 5 OTOs’ Links Here +Hot Bonuses &Upsell>>>
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So that's it from me I'll speak to you soon. Take care all the best The Profit Code OTO Review The Profit Code Local OTO https://timebusinessnews.com/the-profit-code-oto-1-to-5-otos-links-here-hot-bonuses-upsell/ https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/profit-code-oto-1-5-otos-links-here-hot-bonuses/ https://www.reddit.com/EmojiReview/comments/140jm2y/the_profit_code_oto_1_to_5_otos_links_here_hot/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
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2023.06.04 19:20 ShineFamiliar3741 turn the Page my recovery from abuse and inheritance theft
A lot happened before my father passed my sisters both demanded accounts and signed on the way they owned our father and her to the lot of large amount of money before he retired one sister had full control to put one account and because her husband had knowledge of how to control people with these accounts and how to sign them to where you own them and could walk away with all that one dollar unless my dad wanted to press charges felony and he did not he lived with that for several years the thing was my brother-in-law demanded I didn't no help and no cash from my father who bought me a vehicle and he also demanded who bought from him so he could have his own cash that started a bad thing but on the other note my other sister and brother planned a long time ago to steal all on the end and one sister her whole name go in life was to still everything in the end to work as a librarian in order to mingle with authorities with a plan of cutting me out because mother made her hate me when we were children she told her she was a real oldest daughter I was adopted by my father in the state of Missouri because I had no father my mother was abusive to me and she got her words she cut me out she got threw me out of the family they had me abused I had a death threat at one time when my memories came back I have an appointment to talk to a trusted her recovery attorney next week but it's well down to now it's a dirty stuff but they're still a very large amount of money missing that was too preachers one being a bad lawyer who was elected to prosecutor because of his name the state of Missouri couldn't help me with that because he was elected. There's no protection for heirs even though there's laws in Missouri. And when did in-laws with hating their heart and greed they come errors assets were never reported I never got anything from my dad as far as I had property stored there I finally got my camper but it cost me a lot my brother forced me to sign titles and soon tops and my sister would use them on something I told her it would be fraud because they couldn't Court can tell immediately that the paper was added to after the signature landlords can't get away with that anymore unless the person can't take them to court then they do cuz it happened to me before my thoughts are I was abused my life was certain all this Northwest Missouri it's very corrupt a bank account was moved when I was dying in another state and the prosecutor won't even let me look because it's been a few years back I need prosecutor the bank was concerned like there was a criminal and that prosecutor said get a lawyer well that's all I was told by a person well when they have more money and they've used pictures to launder money they use the prosecutor to get their way to not probate a larger state and they turn their back on me that goes to me like I am a disease because I know what they did my life was in dangerous I still don't feel safe I'm in this town I'm working on getting away from here so I can take care of the rest of this but my children didn't deserve to be cut out my father did not do this they did what they wanted for very large amount of money who got a very large attack right before he died and then I don't know who got the money I'm not money doesn't drive me but the fact that they did what they did has me irritated because my children did not deserve this my brother was supposed to probate and help me get all this done so my sister's got their way so far but my mother was in the background she was the first ex-wife and he was single but my one sister control freak controlled dad never move after his last divorce and he couldn't trust her she stole tooth imagine that grave sold them a year later without telling him to make banked on that but she did that because my other sister would find onto his largest inheritance account and controlling him with it he didn't press start his own either one but he did turn him in before he died after he got that last check he was bullied that's why they wanted my memory is gone I hired somebody to come into my life I found Love with a narcissist who was there for hire St Joe Missouri is very corrupt Andrew county was where the prosecutor fake probate attorney was they're still a fake casing at the judge refused to move it off but my brother is no longer represented who paid it to get it stopped to get those two titles back my father bought way more local than that my brother and said he was doing his own probate he bullied me to sign in 15 titles two were property I can't find out where those went except for I know they were laundered through his church his Titan picture who greedy preacher but also was involved and getting money off the top that's I'm in the assets it's all a mess it's a very big mess I'm talking to Tony next week another one thing is only have one chance that they got more money than they're counting you know I they laundered money they did it's on public 300 vehicles cars and trucks at dad bought for probate my brother promised to do with me that sisters pays him to do with that program that month is already had the prosecuting attorney as a lawyer he's not even a probate lawyer and now he's not a prosecutor attorney who knows he did wrong he's also a preacher but he's one of those tithing pictures like the other one putting printers lying their own pockets with other people's money they don't give it to the floor they're legal things in my eyes but I'm opinionated
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2023.06.04 19:18 Qwerty_Bear What am I missing with Judgment’s combat?
So currently I’m at chapter 12, got there with little to no issue other than it being a bit dull to me. But now I’m at Shin Amon and I’m stuck. It feels like there’s no opportunity to hit him. Can’t dodge around and hit him from behind because he’ll turn on a dime and block and hit you. Can’t trade blows because he’ll just ignore your attacks and steal your phone. Can’t leapfrog him cause he throws you off, and can’t walk attack cause the first phase wall is electrified, and second phase he’ll just block you anyways.
The main problem I’m having in general with the combat is that it feels so inconsistent. Sometimes your attacks will stun the enemy, but sometimes they’ll bounce off for no reason, not stun the enemy and they attack you. Especially with the leapfrog and wall attacks, sometimes you press the button right next to them or the wall and do it, sometimes you get a running start and fuck all happens. Am I doing something wrong? Is there some secret way to play that I’m missing out on?
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2023.06.04 19:16 GoddessofMortality Really need help
This probably won’t work but I am out of options. If there is anyone willing to help me with financial assistance please let me know. I’m getting divorced and have to find somewhere to live, I don’t have money for a deposit to move. I don’t have money for groceries. I can’t pay my credit card. I start a new job in a couple weeks but I’m so behind at this point and I don’t know what to do. Please if there is anyone with the means to do so, please help me. I would not ask if I wasn’t desperate.
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2023.06.04 18:49 Practical-Present279 Hire a hacker to Track Your Wife’s Phone Without Her Knowing tracking your partner phone best way to track your wife’s phone how to trace a phone hire a hacker
My partner is texting or someone else – what do I do?
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2023.06.04 18:21 Ok-Razzmatazz-490 Fell of After diet
Hey so it's been 4 good years i have daily reflux , excess burp and bad feeling in the guts and oesophagus. I recently did myself a sibo test that came back positive . Unfortunatly it's been years i have trouble with this doctor and he refuse to give me antibiótics in case it's a "false positive ".
Só i Bought probiótics and Started eating only meat for 2 days. This morning waking up i felt bad but it went away eating etc , and this afternoon After playing basket i couldn't get back home ( weak , numbness in arms and legs , constipation , náusea ). I ate sugar banana and drink bit of orange Juice and it got a bit better After 40min even tho i still feel bad, it didn't felt like i was just missing sugar.
My questions Is what can i eat cause I'm Lost with all the websites , should i take laxatives to help even tho i succeed to go to toilets an hour ago and did it happened to other people?
Btw I'm 52kg now, and i already tried to sée an other doctor but She didn't knew sibo and refused to give me antibiótics
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2023.06.04 18:12 evanthewalrus Is it possible to test day of the week in facebook ads
I'm a contractor who does home service landscaping work. I find my ads perform the best on Mondays, I don't know why. But I get a week's worth of work on Monday, and no responses for the rest of the week.
Wondering what I can do with this information to improve my ads. Thoughts?
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to FacebookAds [link] [comments]