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I Want Out: Information for people who want to expatriate

2009.08.24 17:07 ohstrangeone I Want Out: Information for people who want to expatriate

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2023.06.07 23:37 black_freezer2545 I feel I made a terrible work decision.

I hope this fits the sub. I am young and have little work experience so I signed with a temp agency. Out of feadespiration/looking good for family, I signed on the first job I got.
The job is a 10 hour work shift every day and a half hour bus ride there and back. 11 hours total.
Should I bail? Should I not bail? How can I cope with such hours? I feel it is going to drain me far too much. I also have a dog who I do not want to leave alone for so long.
submitted by black_freezer2545 to Buddhism [link] [comments]

2023.06.07 23:37 All_good322 Newbie Bear Tribal Deck Help

Hi all!
Newbie may be an understatement; I’ve not even touched a physical card before. But! I’ve digested basically the entirety of Game Knights, Extra Turn, and Shuffle Up & Play over the last month or so.
Been working on convincing my board game playgroup to pickup some precons the next time we’re in the LGS, but started dabbling in making my own deck with Wilson, Refined Grizzly and Haunted One:
I know it’s got issues, especially with my card type ratios, but was trying to focus on hitting the undying trigger from Haunted One to beef up the bears.
I also feel like I may be overpacking the deck with green and ignoring black, while also going a little too heavy on the tribal creatures.
Trying to keep it semi-affordable, in case I ever graduate to pulling up a chair with the veteran players at the store.
Any and all suggestions and criticisms are greatly appreciated! I feel like the deck construction aspect and synergies the format of EDH provide are gonna get me full-on hooked…
submitted by All_good322 to EDH [link] [comments]

2023.06.07 23:37 Seam1 Fear of losing myself?

Hi, I am a 20y male who as of recently has dealt with a lot of fear around my gender and cross-dressing.
Ever since I was 12 years old I have had some sort of curiosity about being the other gender. I used to dream that I woke up as a girl and could wear girly clothes and have girly body parts. I even considered the thought of being trans when I was 12, but it just didn't fit, I don't know. But then the dreams just sort of stopped and I didn't have any until I became 15. And then they came back hard. It was really confusing and overwhelming so I decided after a while to give in to those thoughts and make them a reality. So I began to crossdress in private. I used to come home every day after school snap some of my mother's clothes (especially underwear) out of her closet and try them on in the restroom. And to my surprise, I actually enjoyed it a whole bunch. I really liked looking like a girl and felt so comfortable in the clothes, but after 2 weeks of doing this I just stopped. I think I was ashamed and afraid, so I thought it was best for me to just stop. And during the next year, I was really stressed with this part of me and used to distract myself all day just so I didn't have to think. And it worked to some degree because, during the next three years, I was actually becoming happier and happier being a boy and also more confident in myself which felt really nice.
However, those thoughts (about wanting to be a girl) came back to me this year. It got really ambivalent until recently where I could 1 month not wanting at all to be a girl and the next month actually wanting it. And it was really tiring since I always had to prove to myself that I am a man. And when my summer vacation started last month it hit me harder than it has ever done before, I think (I can't really compare). These thoughts took up all my energy and I began distracting myself again. I got really scared again because of the intensity. Ever since now, it has always felt like I had them under control, but now it feels like they are taking over me. I am really scared of losing the part of me that wants to be a boy and I am terrified of ever taking an operation or begin to publicly wear female clothes outside. I don't want people to think that I am a girl because I don't really feel feminine, but I am also afraid that I could be feminine if I really gave in to these thoughts.
Today I tried my mother's clothes or especially her underwear and bra again since 5 years ago. It felt really good and was nice to let that side of me shine again, but it also made me even more terrified. I got scared of the same things as above, but now I realized that I also gave in to my thoughts and that this could actually be my first step into becoming a woman (Which I don't want, I think).
I wish I didn't have any of these thoughts and dreams because it just makes me so insecure. I have never felt like I was born in the wrong body, but I still sometimes want to be reborn again as a girl.
submitted by Seam1 to genderqueer [link] [comments]

2023.06.07 23:36 FireyKicks_AZ What should I do?

Context: I am 17 and work at a culvers in Arizona. So a few days ago I was confronted by the police at work. I was accused by a coworker (I dont know which one) that I was selling substances to underage people. The coworker went straight to the police; and did not go through the store. It was a single officer, and we had our conversation outside the front of the store. He just told me about the allegations, and said that I didn’t seem like that kind of person so after a 30ish minute conversation he told me there would be no police report or anything and I was free to return to work.
Here I am several days later with pictures and videos recorded off our security recording system being passed around work. Obviously only managers have access to this system, but employees AND managers have these pictures and videos on their phones. Sure it’s just of a conversation, however they’re saying “omg look who got in trouble… blah blah blah” proceeding to show the photos.
This feels like a major violation of power and overstepping of privacy. What should I do in this situation? I talked to the general manager and she said she would take care of it, but I don’t see anything that can be done at this point.
Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you!
submitted by FireyKicks_AZ to legaladvice [link] [comments]

2023.06.07 23:36 Zestyclose_Sort8374 Help me settle a debate with my husband: do I deserve a break?

My husband works a full time office job and I’m a SAHM to a 10 month old. He usually sleeps 8pm-6am but sometimes wakes up and needs to be rocked to sleep. The arrangement my husband and I have is that I sleep in our room with LO and my husband sleeps in the guest room so he can get a full nights sleep. Then on weekend nights I sleep in the guest room so I can sleep through the night. Since I’m on ‘duty’ 5 nights, I sometimes get overwhelmed when LO won’t go back to sleep (sometimes takes an hour and he sometimes wakes up 2-3x/night) so I ask my husband to take over. This happens about once/week or not at all.
During the day LO takes 3 hours of naps total during which time I shower, eat lunch quickly, and then do chores. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. I know I should take a break but then it piles up and I have to do it eventually anyway so I just do it while he naps. My husband and I agreed that after LO goes to bed, him and I take 30 mins or so to finish any chores that weren’t done during the day, so I can start the next day with a clean slate.
This is what the argument is about. I had to put my husband on duty Sunday and Monday night around 3am since LO wasn’t sleeping well. My husband spent about 20 minutes putting him back to sleep and then slept til morning. Last evening, we decided to not do chores and just go to sleep in case LO slept poorly. So today, I started the day with piles of laundry to wash and fold, a sink full of dishes, etc. I needed to make food for lunch and couldn’t bc everything was dirty. I don’t know how it all piled up so fast but it just happens as you probably know.
LO was extremely cranky and crying unless I was rocking him. It was really unusual but likely a side effect from the vaccine he got yesterday. I didn’t even have time to eat breakfast until 11am. My husband usually makes my breakfast but didn’t today so it was even worse.
I got completely overwhelmed and tried setting the pack n play up in the kitchen to put LO in it while I cleaned but it wouldn’t open, it ripped while I was trying to open it, and I ended up literally throwing it outside. I was extra angry because I wanted to childproof the house pre-LO bc I knew we wouldn’t have time after he was born (I was right) and had we done that, I wouldn’t have needed the pack n play.
So I complained to my husband about all of this. Nevertheless, I was able to do all the dishes, wash and fold 2 loads of laundry, cook a complex soup and fried rice meal for dinner, vacuum 2x (we’re experiencing wildfire smoke so I’ve been cleaning like crazy indoors), change the sheets, clean the table and kitchen, and obviously cook and feed LO breakfast lunch and snacks. And keep LO entertained, read to him, etc. I felt really proud of myself for turning the day around and was excited to share the meal with my husband because he was outside in the smoke and these foods are supposed to be good for your immune system and lungs.
So he got home and I had dinner hot on the table and we’re eating, he said nothing about the house being absolutely spotless or anything about the food, but instead said btw, it wasn’t his fault that I had a pile of chores to do today, since we agreed we wouldn’t do them last night. And he said that a few times this past week, while he was doing the dishes in the evening, he saw me sitting on the couch on my phone. Side note, I was sitting because I had worked through all of LO’s naps and felt I deserved at least 20 minutes of relaxing time before I went to bed. I go to bed at 9 and my husband stays up until 10 so he has at least an hour of alone time every night.
That’s what I have a huge issue with, because his job is the dishes, and I work really hard to make sure I do the dishes during the day so that he doesn’t have to in the evenings. I work REALLY hard to ensure as much cleaning as possible is done so he doesn’t have to do it before bed. I even organize and deep clean one room/day and he never notices. The dishes that are left for him are usually just our plates from dinner.
Petty me wants to just say ok, I won’t do any of the dishes anymore or any extra chores during the day. My day job is childcare. But non-petty me would like opinions on this and advice on how to deal with this.
I am hiring a childcare service to take care of childproofing because that’s urgent.
submitted by Zestyclose_Sort8374 to Mommit [link] [comments]

2023.06.07 23:36 ThrowRAscatteredmind My (F24) live-in boyfriend (M27) blames me for his temper and I don't know what to do

TW to be safe: trauma, child abuse, death, suicide
My bf and I have been living together for 3 years, dating for 5. We moved out of his parents home 2 years ago, just after his mom passed unexpectedly. Since then he's developed an explosive temper. He'll blow up over trivial things, refuse to hear me out, yell, scream, and/or throw things (never at me). He later apologizes and says how terrible he feels for making me cry, then do something nice to try and make it up to me. But the cycle repeats I have C-PTSD, when he yells I easily cry and/or dissociate. Which makes all this so hard to process because I may dissociate and forget parts of our fights.
But a few months ago he finally explained why he's been so angry:
1) I got us into debt.
I was in charge of our finances. I didn't update him regularly about the credit card balances, because I was scared to tell him. I came clean about the 10k of debt, and he blew up. I know I fucked up but it feels unfair to blame me 100% and dangle this over my head when: I didn't make any unreasonable purchases, he spent just as much if not more than me, and this would have never happened if I wasn't afraid of him.
2) I can't take no for an answer and have to have things my way.
I can be selfish at times (only child) and rather stubborn. But now if he says no I usually drop it.
3) I'm inattentive, he feels I don't care about his opinions or needs.
It breaks my heart that he thinks I don't care. I'm trying to be actively listen, be more considerate, and always involve him in decisions big or small.
(for context I have severe ADHD, I am medicated and in therapy but still struggle)
4) I'm bad at cheering him up when he's upset.
I make sure to constantly tell him how much I love him, how he can talk to me about anything. I'm very affectionate physically and verbally. But I've admittedly never been good at comforting others.
5) He stopped cooking because I "disrespected" him and his food.
I would often smoke pot before dinner, and he interpreted that as "you have to get high to even stomach my food".
Not true, I love his cooking and give him consistent praise and thanks, I just like to smoke to unwind after a long work day.
Stoned or not, I eat slowly and get distracted easily. Sometimes the food would get cold, so I'd microwave it. He perceives this as "ruining" his food.
6) He hates how much I smoke.
Weed is the only thing that makes my scatterbrain quiet down. I smoke most days, but I don't get high unless it's the end of the day and I'm not going anywhere. I never smoked this much until 6 months ago when I started thinking about leaving. I'll admit I'm self-medicating, but sometimes I go cold turkey for at least week to ensure I'm not becoming dependent.
I could keep listing things he resents me for but those are the major ones. After hearing all this I felt like a fucking monster. He's briefly mentioned some of these before, but I had no idea it was THIS bad. He never talks about his feelings. Yes I fucked up a lot, but he knows I'm bad with social cues and I've been begging him for years to open up to me. It's not fair that he waited almost 5 years for all this contempt to build up before addressing it.
He also has a boatload of trauma: abusive parents, death, homelessness, etc. He tried therapy, meds, nothing helped. Then 2 years ago his mom OD'd and died in his arms. His step-dad killed himself a few months later. I try to be compassionate, but how is it fair that he takes out his unprocessed trauma and grief on me?
I've tried to get him to do couples therapy, but he says in 5 years I've never let us do things his way, so it's only fair I give his way a chance. Since this big talk he has been noticeably more vulnerable about his feelings. He says he's been doing self-reflection and meditation. I know he's not going to change overnight but I don't know how much more I can take.
I wonder if there could be something medical aggravating his anger? Over 1 year ago, we thought he had a mini stroke/heart episode, but doctors found nothing. He still has symptoms.
I've been contemplating leaving, he knows. But if I leave I'm stuck with the debt (he was an auth. user on my cards). I'd have to move back in with my insufferable parents, I couldn't take our cat, etc. He is my best friend and we've started building a life together. I don't want to give up on him/us.
Thank you for making it this far. I know we're both in the wrong but I don't know what to do/how to cope. Don't hesitate to be brutally honest, all advice is appreciated.
TLDR: My bf of 5 yrs. blames me for his temper which has taken a toll on my mental health. I'm unsure if I'm at fault and don't know how to repair our relationship.
submitted by ThrowRAscatteredmind to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2023.06.07 23:36 NaijaNightmare I didn't like AtS

Over the years with all the changes being made to a lot of popular IP I found myself to be a bit of a gatekeeper. Unfortunately this movie was no exception. Don't get me wrong as a standalone movie it was pretty good actually great characters like not going to lie Hobey Brown was definitely goated, the concept of miles being bitten by an alternate universe spider was actually very interesting and despite that not being the actual origin of 1610 (my fav spiderman universe) miles it was interesting enough to warrant my forgiveness from deviating from the source and also acted as irrational of sorts as to why miles is a unique entity and not some variation of Peter why I'll tell you it was green yeah dark green like a olive green yes it's not in here yep it's not a hair I'll ask him where you think she put it and maybe one of the kids I don't forget. But for me the movie was riddled with so many "pet peeves and nitpicks" that I have someone who is a massive Spider-Man fan just couldn't help I have issue with.
I don't like Miles and gwenbeing able to stick to walls in shoes, I don't like the whole Gwen miles relationship it's super weird and creepy to me it's like dating your big brother's ex ( and before people say it's a different Universe gwen or something to that effect, would you feel the same if it was Mary Jane) it was just extremely off-putting to me. I really wish that instead of it just being his uncle they actually stuck to the original 1610 storyline and killed off his mom I think that would have a significantly bigger impact on Miles. I don't like the version of ganke we got both being well built and the fact that he was like I'm not your guy in the chair even though in the comic that's his favorite thing he essentially begged miles to involve him. Really not a fan of race lifting Jessica Drew honestly should have made her an original character didn't like the adversarial nature of the spider Society, spider people benefit more from getting along and camaraderie. Spider people namely altered versions of Peter variations of Peter typically good this is generally the rule not the exception. Also the members of the spider Society mainly seemed inept and incompetent which is not something I would ever associate Spider-Man as a being. I'm not a fan of tearing characters or their lore/mythos in order to elevate someone else ie miles more or less being able to solo the spider Society. On top of that I just really don't see many spider people especially Peters being okay with the direction this took clearly the spider Society has led by Miguel O'Hara so my head canon is maybe he picked specific Spider-Men that were more so susceptible to shirking their morales but even then it's a little weird the Spider-Man I know wouldn't be down for this of behavior and would have opted more so to try to figure out a way through science to prevent the catastrophe cuz you save who you can save herosim isn't bureaucratic. But overall spider people acting as a sort of TVA was really weird, the kind of reminded me over weird Civil War II/ Minority Report situation. Spider people in my opinion work best when they're putting in a situation where it's them fighting for a survival or against a common enemy not each other. Also where was 616 Peter and all of this or for all intensive purposes Spider-Man Prime isn't he like the Avatar of the spider totems and web of Destiny something like this you should definitely be involved with or be informed by Madame Webb (also give me legit Ben Reilly not that joke, Kaine, araña, Julia carpenter and other iconic members of spider family)[maybe they show up in part 2]. I was really hoping until I found there was a part two that he was just going to show up and set all this right.
Tldr: overall it was a good movie especially standalone but as a Spider-Man fan since elementary school this is bothered me a lot cuz it felt like Peter and Spider-Man's Legacy in general was kind of being tarnished and adulterated mainly for the sake of this new Spider-Man that we want to make the mainstream as well as diversify.
Anyway these are just my thoughts if I'm wrong I'm wrong but I was just curious to see if anyone else felt this way maybe I am just being an old fogey and gatekeeper but I really did go into this movie with an open mind and couldn't help but be perturbed. If you enjoyed this movie that is absolutely your right and prerogative and I in no way mean to take that away from you.
submitted by NaijaNightmare to Spiderman [link] [comments]

2023.06.07 23:35 baldegg663 I don’t think I ever really stopped missing them.

The pain of the break up is mostly gone. I’m not really hurting bad anymore. But I still miss them. I made the mistake of viewing their social media because I was curious and they seemed happy.
It’s been 4 years since we broke up. I’ve done a lot of healing. Focusing on myself and finishing up college. But I’ve been smoking and drinking because life has been stressful.
Maybe I miss more of what my life use to be? People use to want to hang out with me. I feel like I was actually happier then. But Covid happened and the stress of family, work, and school all got to me. And throughout the years I realized nobody really cared about me except for my family.
So losing my ex mad me depressed for a while because they were the very few people who cared. It just seems like life has been okay but not great.
Is anyone else in the same situation? Where it’s been some time since the break up and you feel like it was another life.
submitted by baldegg663 to BreakUps [link] [comments]

2023.06.07 23:35 thror21 Gf of 1 year left me a week after a family friend died AMA

Gf (24f) left me (25M) a few days ago after being together for a year. I was looking for an engagement ring for her 2 weeks ago. A week ago my roommate/friend’s father passed away in a sudden accident. Coworkers son is now in the ER so I’m working extra shifts to cover. I’ve got no one to talk to so AMA.
submitted by thror21 to AMA [link] [comments]

2023.06.07 23:35 alexwoodgarbage Google Workspace Suspended

My wife's workmail got migrated to Google Workspace and her creditcard didn't register, which caused her account to now get suspended. She ignored the many reminders and here we are.
I'm now trying to reactivate it, but when following the link to log in to the workspace admin, it doesn't move passed the account selection page. I know 100% that the account shown is the admin account for her workspace, i have been able to activate google cloud for that same domain with that same account, but I am now unable to log in to the admin page for her workspace.
When I go to file a support ticket for this, I get routed to the generic Cloud Support page, where it won't let me file a support ticket because I either need to pay for a support account ($29 a month)
I am caught in Google redirect hell, where every option is a non-human dead end and the one page that should work - the login page to the admin - isn't letting me get past the account selection menu.
Please help me.
submitted by alexwoodgarbage to gsuite [link] [comments]

2023.06.07 23:35 ApplicationNo23 My bf of 5 years 23M, cheated on me 21F

We have been together for 5 years. We have gone through a lot together. When our relationship began he cheated twice but I didn’t know at the time. Nothing sexual happened. Our relationship dynamic changed a lot and things got better. So by the time I found out I forgave him. Not long after I moved from my home country away from him and had a long distance relationship not seeing each other due to covid. We were away for a year where he once again, cheated. However, we made plans for him to come to the US with me. So when he told me what happened, I decided to forgive him again. I told myself we were not physically together and that out lives in this country would be different. And so it was, I trust him completely, as long as we are not in out home country, where things tend to happen. Its been 2 years since we have been living together and our relationship was in a great place. We were considering getting married and all. Last week we visited our home country again. We hung out with his family and a friend (F21) of his cousin. Turns out when I wasn’t there, they were drinking and hooked up. I dont know if something intimate happened even though he says he just kissed her. When I found out my heart shattered in a million pieces. I meet that person he cheated on me with and even talked with her before the fact. He disrespected me so much. Only thing that could save our relationship is that our lives are in a different country where he is not like that. I have a lot to think because my life with him was so wonderful, and I love him so much. He has been such a good boyfriend (except for that), and if I live I will have to go to my parent’s house where I do not want to be. On the other side, because its so recent I am very hurt. This will definitely take work to forgive. I would really appreciate your advice. And if there are mature women in this group, are all men the same? Have you ever been with someone that hasn’t cheated? I am afraid they are all the same cause I have always had the same experience.
TLDR my boyfriend cheated on me and I dont know what to do
submitted by ApplicationNo23 to relationships [link] [comments]

2023.06.07 23:34 wifi444 Installed Mint on Dell Latitude 7420 with locked boot configuration

Installed Mint on Dell Latitude 7420 with locked boot configuration
Installed Linux Mint on a Dell Latitude 7420 with locked boot configuration
After I was instructed to remove the disk and hit "enter" it seemed to hang up and do nothing. I think when I was presented the option to "require a password" for boot configuration I should have unchecked it. It was checked by default and I'm wondering if that's where the problem stems from. This computer originally had a password on the bootloader, which I thought I had gotten around.
Anyway, when it got hung up after removing the install disk and hitting enter several times, I thought something was wrong so I did a hard reboot and it made it to the Linux Mint selection screen in the above photos. But when I hit enter on any of the selections, I get
error: bad signature error: you need to load the kernal first. Press any key to continue...
...which brings me right back to the Linux Mint 21.1 screen.
I was originally able to get around the boot configuration lock by holding down escape until the Linux Mint installer screen appears.
But that tactic doesn't work again since replacing Windows and installing Linux Mint 21.1.
So that's where I am. I have a usb dvd drive with a fresh Linux Mint install disk and am wondering if anyone knows how I can re-install Linux Mint.
I have the grub menu option and an extra Windows 7 install disk. I can access bios but boot configuration is still locked with some password.
Is there anything I can do here? I also have many different Linux install disks, if that means anything. Thank you.
submitted by wifi444 to linuxmint [link] [comments]

2023.06.07 23:34 Future_Ad_3485 The Night Squad Files Case One: Murder Pays

Waking up next to Stanton, our clothes were all over the floor. Blushing at last night’s activity, I checked the time. A loud scream burst from my lips, the book club was in ten minutes. Crashing to the floor, Stanton stirred awake. Panicking at the time, the floor shook as he crashed to the floor. Searching for anything to wear, he was already tugging on a black band t-shirt and ripped jeans. Fixing his hair, my hand settled on a black and white striped swing dress. Slipping my feet into my boots, he brushed my wild hair into a simple side bun. Kissing me on the forehead, he dropped a random book into my palm.
“I will hang out with the husbands to analyze their behavior. Get those hens talking about their men.” He said simply, ignoring what we did last night. “Try and drink some coffee with them. Tell them that you have a stomach sensitivity.” Focusing on the book, scarlet colored my cheeks. It was one I had written and published fifty years ago, his brows furrowing.
“You’re telling me that I have to go and sit with a bunch of women while they misinterpret what I wrote.” I groaned bitterly, wishing that he would acknowledge last night. “Whatever. At least I know the plot.” Hooking his elbow into mine, we walked across the street. The husbands welcomed him with open arms, Susie yanking me in. Pulling me into the kitchen, she slid me a cup of coffee, my stomach churning. While most vampires enjoyed it, I despised it with a burning passion. Taking a sip, the pungent taste reminded me of a bunch of pennies.
“Tell me about sleeping with him. Was it fun? My husband is so boring.” She pleaded desperately, pressing her palms together. “I also asked for you to come because you look a lot like my favorite author.” Hitting the wall, a secret shelf with every single book I wrote covered every inch of the damn space. Think of an excuse, you idiot. Stanton looked up from his own conversation outside, my lips pressing into a thin line.
“My mother wrote them.” I lied seamlessly, Susie buying into it. “She was a lovely woman.” Lie, that was a lie. My mother was a poor Irish vampire who ditched me at the ripe age of three, her next question causing me to spit my coffee out.
“When is the sound of tiny feet entering your home?” She trilled sweetly, cupping my hands. “You are the first to know that I am pregnant now. I have been trying for years. Maybe you can get pregnant soon and we can have them be best friends.” Horror hid behind my polite smile, a long squeal escaping my lips. Like hell I would go along with her sick little plan. Something felt off, my vision blurred. A purple liquid swirled on top of the coffee, my body hitting the floor. A rough darkness devoured me as coffee pooled around my head.
A yellow light swung over my head, something else feeling off. Clammy sweat drenched my skin, a fever burning my cheeks. Susie towered over me, a spike spinning in her palm. Attempting to crawl away, her heel dug into my back. Unable to move, this felt like something else. The desire to take Stanton nearly controlled my mind, the claws extended from my fingernails. Spinning another needle of the liquid in her palm, she jammed it into my leg. Extreme nausea wracked my body, the beginning of a heat cycle disabling me. Parting my lips to speak, I needed his blood to survive or that was what it felt like. Only wheezes poured from my lips, she jammed another needle into my leg. Sending me into the next stage, every touch raised an incredible amount of goosebumps. Shivering in my spot, the last time I felt this was one hundred years ago when a handsome stranger caught my eye.
“I used to be a hunter.” She bragged gleefully, sitting down on top of me. “We have to finish before the book club arrives, you fucking idiot. I meant what I said about you getting pregnant around the same time. I know the serial killer lives among us. You have to trust me with that.” My eyebrow twitched with a mixture of bewilderment and irritation, a snarl curling on my lips. All of this was too much, my knee meeting her face. Crawling onto the living room floor, my legs felt like rubber. If she hit me with another needle of that liquid I would be pregnant within the next few days. At the current level in mine, three months remained before anything had to be done about that. Stumbling out, blood poured from her nose. Struggling to my feet, my shaking fingers opened her fridge to see what I needed. The process had already begun but I could delay it for a while. Pulling out a needle full of a milky liquid, she cried out as I jammed it into my thigh.
“I am not ready for that quite yet, Miss hunter!” I shouted vehemently, fuming darkly on the stool. “How can I know that you aren’t the serial killer?” Pausing in her spot, her slender hands jammed her nose back into place. Wiping the blood out from underneath her nose, she sat down across from me. Chuckling softly to herself, her fingers drummed on the stainless steel counter top.
“They killed my sister and her family a couple of weeks ago. I have nothing to gain from this.” She informed me briskly, holding her stomach. “I am the neighborhood watch and I can’t stand that someone is slicing their way through our little piece of paradise. Revenge is in my plan but now I have to be careful.” Seeing things through her point of view, the fact that she sped up my natural reproductive cycle ticked me off.
“I figured I might kick start things for your body. The sooner you get pregnant the happier Stanley will be. I always catch him watching the families walking by with a longing look. I am only doing it because he doesn’t suck up to me which makes him my favorite stranger.” She expressed with her real smile, pointing to me. “You are a purebred vampire. Such luck should be blessed in your eyes. You can give birth without dying. I met you once when my old man came to talk to you in your jail cell. I don’t know if you don’t remember him but his name is Father Rowell.” All of my breath escaped my lungs at the mention of his name, my mind flicking through the memories of every person who had visited me. Come to think of it, a redheaded woman did accompany a priest that one time. How did I not make the connection? Laying my head on the table, several women ran in. My eyebrow twitched, the perfectly dressed woman interrupted our conversation. A sea of blonde haired women shoved me aside, a couple of them shooting daggers from their eyes. Stepping back, Susie tugged me close to her. A bout of nausea wracked me, the combination of the potion she had injected with me mixed poorly with my sudden social anxiety. Dropping a tray into my palm, her gentle touch dragged me to the four ivory walls she called her living room. A brown leather set reminded me of my cell, the tray crashing to the floor. Glass shattered everywhere, my immediate response was to run. Apologizing profusely, I bolted out the door. Ignoring their looks, I ripped off my boots. Sprinting down the street, a masked individual slammed into me. Crashing to the ground, the pavement felt cool against my face. Still weak from earlier, I couldn’t just fight them off like normal. Quivering on the pavement, a disguised voice sent chills up my spine.
“Goodnight, my dear!” The robotic voice laughed evilly, a knife slamming into my body repeatedly.” Copper poisoned my taste buds, the person whistling. A rusting van pulled up, the license plate number 568 4325 stuck into my memory while my blood pooled underneath me. Tossing me into the van, Stanton barely made it onto the street. Locking the door behind me, I leaned against the wall. Pulling out my silenced phone, my vision blurred as I turned on my location. Hiding my phone behind a dusty box, a darkness swallowed me alive.
Jerking awake once more, this trend had to stop. Groaning in pain, a yellow light swung over my head, a rough rope cut into my wrists. Struggling only made the knot tighter, the killers having to be boat owners, hunters or some sort of boy scout. Glancing around, no weapons lay around. Talk about being professional. Muffled yelling stole my attention, a filthy redhead tugged on chains against the wall. Two small children hugged her side tightly, silent tears staining their cheeks. One, a pair of worn steel toe boots came into view. Two, the other shoe appeared. Three, his masked face poked around the corner. Four, Five, Six, one of the killers were at the bottom of the stairs. Seven, he towered over me at six foot seven. Lifting up his mask, relief crashed over me at the sight of an anxious Stanton. Seconds from cutting her rope, the boss stomped down the stairs. Pulling his mask down, the boss cleared his throat.
“Cut off her fingers until she talks about how she found us.” He demanded via a thick distorted voice. “Never mind, give me the knife.” Snatching it from Stanton, he could only watch with horror as the man held my finger straight. Three red dots blinked in the corner of my eyes, the operation making sense. This asshole was running a torture to murder show, a lump forming in my throat.
“Thank you for your payment of a million dollars. We shall gut her like a deer.” He mused darkly, tracing the knife along my flat stomach. “Then I will play with the guts to please you.” A scream burst from my lips the moment the blade glided across my stomach. Fighting the urge to vomit, my steaming guts poured out onto my lap. Playing with my intestines, the money began to pour in. Choking on the blood building up in my throat, a hack sent it all over his mask. The questions were sick, a clammy sweat drenching my skin.
“We have a vampire.” He announced with wicked laughter, my heart sinking in my chest. “This is going to be fun.” Stanton held his composure, the back of the metal chair bending underneath his grip. The heat potion kicked in, one accidental touch clouding up my mind for a moment. Bending down to my level, his next words sent chills up my spine.
“The boys are coming. We have to keep him occupied for about thirty minutes.” He growled through gritted teeth, the man asking him to run the computers. Touching my shoulder one last time, the chair squealed the moment he sank down into the chair. Shoving a slender flash drive into the USB hole, he was gathering the IP addresses. Shoving my guts back in, childlike wonder brightened the killer’s tone at my wound sealing shut. Susie’s sister held her hands over her kid’s eyes, the knife sliding in and out of me. The wet noise did little to help me, the potion making my stomach churn worse than normal. The money kept pouring in, the welcome sound of chaos woke me up from my sickly state. The agents from before piled down the stairs, Stanton ripping off his mask. Cutting the rope, his touch made me jump a couple of feet into the air. Popping to my feet, every footfall echoed in the concrete cell. Assisting Susie’s sister, her arms embraced me desperately. Every emotion soaked my shoulder, another touch from Stanton resulted in a tender blush on my cheeks. Shooting me a thumbs up, his lips brushed against the top of my head. Helping the woman to her feet, Stanton scooped up the children. Bright flashes blinded me, the news crew attempting to speak to us. Climbing into a tinted SUV, the children bounced into their mother’s arm. Fishing around a bag, he held out packages of cheddar crackers. The boys accepted them graciously, the car heading towards the hospital. The door ripped open, nurses ushering the family inside. Scanning me up and down, Stanton held me by my hips. Sniffing me real quick, fear flashed on his face. Not having time, Susie smashed into me. Desperate tears flooded from her cheeks, her quaking hands cupping my face. A deep crimson painted my cheeks, a newfound respect for me glowed in her eyes.
“Thank you so much for saving them. I don’t know how I could ever thank y-” She blubbered uncontrollably, my hand raising to stop her. Smiling brightly in her direction, this reaction made it all worth it. My lips parted to speak, a nurse dragging her off before I could explain myself. Stanton dragged me back to the car, a snarl twitching on his lips. Slamming me down into my seat, the partition hummed its way up.
“Your heat is supposed to be for another year! Why do you smell like you are three months away?” He demanded hotly, the crack of my hand meeting his cheeks stunning the both of us. How dare he ask after not talking about last night! Clenching my fists into a ball, I turned my back.
“You haven’t talked about last night. We had fun and you acted like nothing happened!” I blurted out venomously, happy to have it off of my chest. “You already forced me into a marriage, and now you want me to ignore what happened last night. Fuck you. I had fun but here you are. Was it that bad? Susie sped me up so we could be pregnant around the same fucking time. Did you know she used to be a hunter? She opened right up to me. In fact she knew me.” Spinning me around to face him, an apologetic smile dimmed his features. A piece of hair fell in front of his left eye, his hands rubbing my shoulder.
“I can’t tell you why that all scares me.” He mumbled under his breath, sliding me a large emerald box. “You need to get changed into your uniform to enter the facility.” Peeling off my destroyed dress, his eyes couldn’t leave the angry scars covering my body. Flipping the box open, I pulled out a lightly armored leather number. Tugging it over my head, the onyx leather covered my arms. Hiding my bloody hands underneath the bell sleeves, the deep v-neck showed off my ample breasts. Sitting back in the seat, the A-line skirt floated away from my body. Scooting closer to me, he offered me his neck. Sinking my fangs into his tender flesh, every gulp revived my health. Curling my arms around his neck, he drank away. This time a wave of euphoria crashed over me, a long sigh pouring from my lips. Unable to stop, fright rounded my eyes the moment his hand curled around my neck. A muffled protest stopped him, an oppressive silence hung between us. The car skidded to a halt, an impressive navy marble building towered over us. Helping me out, the numb look on his face scared the shit out of me. Marching in aggressively, the way he was acting reminded me of the first time I met Father Powell. Hugging him from behind, his muscles relaxed.
“We all lose control at times.” I assured him lovingly, the tone taking over my voice for the first time. “If I can gain control, you can do it.” Cupping my trembling hands, an agent was attempting to remember the plate number. Typing it in for them with my free hand, a grateful expression met my exhausted face. My legs gave out, Stanton placing me on his back. Ignoring the jeering whispers, the rumors spread within minutes. Bursting into the interrogation room, a shaggy haired man with angry dark eyes watched him set me down in the chair across from him. An unkempt beard danced with every growl in his throat, his scarred face informing me of a rough life.
“I am not the only one in this plot. Do you remember that serial killer club on the news a couple of years ago? I am the bottom tier.” He bragged gleefully, the sweet smell of poison wafting from his mouth. “We must all die with honor.” His heart beat one last time, Stanton calling for help. Help wouldn’t come soon enough, this was a magical poison. Dragging him out of the room, I climbed into the driver’s seat. A skill I had learned the moment cars had been invented, the modern car proving far easier to drive than those things. Stanton hopped into the passenger seat, my fingers typing in an address into the GPS. Driving for too long, the brakes squealed to a halt in front of a bustling night club. Taking off his tie, the poor thing floated to the back. Roughing up his suit, he protested as I messed up his hair. Letting my hair down, a familiar face had to be spoken to. Sauntering up the door, the bouncer let us both in. Loud music worsened my migraine, a scantily clad blond guided us up to the office. Opening the door, my fingers curled around the neck of my old friend. Pinning him to the wall, his scarlet curls bounced around. Ruby eyes glowered back at me, his garish velvet suit irritating me further.
“Who are you selling your poison to, you fucking idiot?” I interrogated him intensely, Stanton yelling at me to calm down. “I know what you sold to Susie. That I can let go but sell some sort of poison to a serial killer after school club! You are playing with fire.” Cocking his brows, he slammed his knee into my chest. Every rib shattered upon impact, all the breath leaving my body. Coughing on the floor, he picked me up by my hair.
“I refuse to let a runt like you run my life. I sell my magical drugs and that is that.” He snapped hotly, my bones fusing back together. “I don’t know or care what they do with them.” Wicked laughter rumbled in my throat, the heel of my bare feet slamming into his jaw. Raw energy built around my fist, his bones shattered upon the impact of my fist. Sliding down the wall, my bruising fingers picked him up by his collar.
“I don’t care that you make drugs. That isn’t my department but when they are used for suicide I have an issue. Who ordered it!” I screamed furiously, a glob of spit landing on my face. “Just answer the fucking question. I will break every bone in your body. You still owe me for you selling me out. I fucking let you keep the reward money.” Clicking his bones back into place, he struggled to his feet. Unlocking his cabinet, he pulled out an ancient ledger. Dropping it into my palms, he sulked to his desk.
“Take it. I have to start another one anyway. I will call you if somebody uber weird pops up.” He commented kindly, pulling out a new one. “Don’t charge me, ‘kay. I provide loads of hunger suppressants for the monsters in the area. I also help monsters get pregnant faster. The poison was only meant to be sold for someone who was going to die. You know that I can see reapers as well as you can. Watch your temper with that heat potion coursing through you. Your powers are going to be a little wacky for a bit.” Mouthing a silent thanks, a triumphant grin spread cheek to cheek. Walking through the club, another discussion had to be had once we got into the car. Climbing in, dread bubbled in my gut.
“Give up why you were in prison.” I demanded sternly, leaning on the steering wheel. “Don’t lie. I can sniff that shit out.” Tears welled up in his eyes, a lump forming in his throat. Storm clouds rumbled to life, heavy raindrops crashed to the top of the vehicle.
“You weren’t my first partner.” He uttered bitterly, chewing on his lips. “I had a romantic relationship with her and she turned out to be the serial killer. The bodies piled up behind me, and I didn’t even know. We were incredibly intimate. She lied with the biggest smile on her face. I enjoyed our evening together and that you only drank from the serial killers to survive. She was what the agency calls a binge eater. Devouring person after person and I was the one to put her down. The difference was that I didn’t love her like I love you.” Covering his mouth, a further explanation needed to be heard.
“What do you mean by love me?” I asked politely, attempting not to lose my cool while pulling into a Cally’s. “Don’t lie to me. I have been through enough hell today.” Refusing to look in my direction, my hands cupped his face. Gritting his teeth, his hands cupped mine.
“I observed you for months and fell in love with the way you helped the prison when you could. I loved it when you would spend weeks buried into an inhumanly huge pile of books.” He choked out awkwardly, fresh tears flowing from his eyes. “I sound like a creepy stalker but I needed to make you my mate from the instant you met me.” Nodding my head, my lips kissed his hungrily. Scarlet colored his cheeks, his hands falling to my flat stomach.
“I love you too.” I choked out just as awkwardly, hoping not to upset him further. “Watch this book, I will be right back.” Swiping his wallet, I ran into the department store. Ignoring the bright lights and horrid smells, I paused in the baby section. Closing my eyes, the sweet sound of my mother singing an Irish lullaby soothed my nerves. Snapping awake, a tiny girl had crashed into my legs. Instead of crying out in fear, she began to giggle.
“You are so pretty.” She sang adorably, her horrified mother scooping her up and running away. Getting a couple of packages of toy cars and a beautiful bouquet of white roses, hurt dimmed my eyes at the cashier watching me in pure terror. Paying for the items, silent tears stained my cheeks. Not saying a word, I punched in the address for the hospital. Cursing to myself, we were four hours away. Setting the stuff in the back, I chose to turn on the radio to drown out the chaos in my mind. Sobbing the whole way back, this world was no different. The only thing missing was the torches that had hunted my mother down. Getting there in record time, I ditched my partner to catch up to me later. Stopping at the desk, the nurse didn’t show the same fear as the people in the store. Tucking a loose piece of caramel hair behind her ears, her gray eyes twinkling with joy.
“Thank you for bringing them in.” She returned with a genuine smile, pointing to the last room down the hall. “Visiting hours are over. Surely, they want to see their hero. I will pretend I looked the other way.” Winking in my direction, she turned her back to me. Running to their room, an exhausted Susie lay on her sister’s bed. The children perked up at me, smashing into my legs. Crouching down at their level, I presented the packages of cars. Pecking my cheeks, they ran off to go play with them. Rising to my feet, I presented her with the flowers.
“How does your sister like her coffee?” I inquired with my genuine smile, the mother’s expression softening into a gracious smile. My lips parted to speak, the woman’s head shaking. Coughing a bit, blood covered her hand. Seconds from pushing the nurse button, her raspy voice stole my attention. Stanton hovered in the door, the mother’s heart monitor going nuts. Looking closer, a bony hand rested on her shoulder. Following the arm, a reaper held her shoulder. Death had come to her, the option not working for me.
“Is there anything I can give you in return?” I begged with my palms pressed together, knowing that those kiddos needed their mother. “How about this?” Snapping my fingers, my stolen reaper’s scythe rested in my palms. Snatching it from me, the cold hand curled around my neck. Gasping for air, his yellowed skull hovered inches from my face. Biting down on my arm, he gulped down enough to figure out who I was.
“I recognize your stupid face.” A chilly voice thundered evilly, the other finger playing with my hair. “You vampires are the bane of my existence. I can’t take your souls when there's none to take. I will spare her this one time but she will have to go next time regardless of what you have.” Dropping me to the floor, he was gone. Coughing up a storm, one of the kids hit the button. A look of horror dawned on his face, his tiny body smashing into my legs. Crouching down to his level, he shivered in my arms.
“Was that a reaper?” He stuttered brokenly, my head nodding. “Will they ever hurt me?” His tight red curls tickled my face, the other twin watching from a distance. Their emerald green eyes watched me as the nurse brushed past me.
“No, they won’t.” I promised them warmly, taking him to the waiting room. “Let’s go play while they take care of your mom, ‘kay.” Susie snapped awake, picking up her other nephew. Crashing into the nearest chairs, they played with their cars. Susie rested her head on my shoulder, snores echoing in my ear. Letting her sleep, I was thankful for my current life.
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2023.06.07 23:34 MiniJamesWorthy Trying to beat this Cirrhosis thing.

Hey all my name is Doug...I'm 55 from Western Colorado. This is a bit of my story, thanks in advance for reading.
I was taken to the emergency in Feb. 2021 with what I thought was Covid, but I was told that I was in acute liver failure and probably a few days away from death. I was admitted to the hospital here in Grand Junction CO...and the GI on staff straight up told me that I would not get better. My MELD was at 29, and since I could barely stand for a few minutes at the prognosis was pretty grim. I was put on 40mg Prednisone the first day in hospital and began to respond to all the medications quickly. My eventual diagnosis was Cryptogenic Cirrhosis caused by AutoImmune Hepatitis; they were able to figure this out because my sister had been diagnosed with the same thing at the same hospital by the same doctors 3 years prior...she unfortunately passed less than 3 years after her diagnosis.
My meld has been at 8 for about a year and a half, and I'm very fortunate to be in good health. In fact, the medications I'm on (Azathioprine esp) seem to have a more negative affect on my health than the disease. I'm trying to get myself in the best physical shape so I can get off of as many of my meds as possible...and hopefully put off that liver transplant for as long as possible as well...or maybe never would be my ultimate goal. I wanna...gonna beat this thing!
I'm doing this by playing basketball mostly, as well as positive manifestation/vibrational healing. I don't know how well it's working if at all...I've been sick for the past two weeks (got a cold at the end of May...MAY!?) but will continue on the path as soon as I feel better. Before getting sick I was actually feeling pretty dang good for the first time in about 6-7 months.
I'm in the beginning process of becoming a content creator, which definitely includes being visible for Cirrhosis and organ transplant awareness. Any success I have in that endeavor I will use to focus on this disease. I post videos of me playing basketball on youtube and another looking for subscribers to the youtube channel, it's totally free to subscribe. I will post a link in comments if this post is approved and allowed. Thanks
submitted by MiniJamesWorthy to Cirrhosis [link] [comments]

2023.06.07 23:34 pastichepeach [NY] Quit my job due to sexual harassment and my boss mishandling the report. I want to email HR with a more detailed report but I don't know if it's worth it.

I recently quit my job due to being sexually assaulted and my boss completely mishandling the whole thing - in my opinion. The assault happened in a part of the building that didn't have a camera. I initially only told the people I had mentioned a prior incident to and they knew that this person would harass me by calling me at work. I had no intention of reporting it at this point - I was just scared and didn't know what to do. I just wanted people to know for my own safety. They convinced me I need to report it so I did - got me with the whole "this could protect someone else in the future".
To keep it somewhat short, I reported the assault to my boss over text the day after I told others what happened. She said she'd come in [3 days later] when I was working to get my statement. Come that day, I start telling her the background to our relationship prior to the assault. She stopped me and told me not to include anything that prior in my written statement because it didn't matter, only the incident. To which, I agree. Anything that happened prior didn't matter but I wanted everything out there.
The next day she planned to get his statement. I text her asking what was going on in the afternoon since I hadn't heard from her. I was scheduled to work the next day and I wasn't comfortable being there with him there. Not long after she called me to tell me about how there were discrepancies between our statements. She said he said it was welcomed and no wasn't explicitly said. She then lists off things that happened prior he mentioned - all of which I already told her or began to before I was cut off. I told her what she told me - whatever prior didn't matter, only the incident - and she just went on to say she didn't see him going anywhere any time soon because it's not a cut and dry situation. She goes on to ask if I could work with him there. I said no. She listed other options like if he worked at a different store and only comes to ours once a day if I'd be okay with that. I told her I'd like to say yes but what she's describing made me incredibly uncomfortable. She then asked what I was going to do about my employment then if I couldn't work with him there to which I said if he's there then I guess I have to quit.
2 hours later I get a text from her saying action was being taken on the guy who assaulted me. I asked if the text was delayed because it didn't match our phone call and I was confused. She apologized for the confusion and said she hadn't heard from HR yet when she called but she finally got word.
Next day, she calls and leaves the contact info for the VP of HR who wanted to speak with me. I call, leave a voicemail, and wait. My boss calls again shortly after, from her personal cell this time, to ask if I got the message. Told her yes, and now I was waiting to hear back. She goes on to say that action is being taken but that doesn't mean he will be terminated and asked if I still wanted to quit. I said I didn't really want to quit, I love the job, but I can't work with him there. Once again she brought up his statement and I once again said I was trying to explain to her but she cut me off. She switches back to asking about my employment and listed off different scenarios if he were to stay. I said I don't know. At this point she's frustrated and asks what I wanted to do. She needed to know because she was trying to write the schedule and brought up how she initially called HR to see what she should do about coverage because she was down 2 full-timers. She brought up how this not only affects her but it affects the rest of the staff. I told her I understand her frustration but I was trying to take care of myself because I could barely function. She asks if I would work as of right now since he's suspended and wouldn't be there. I reluctantly agreed to at least work the current schedule.
VP of HR guy calls and I started going off about the previous phone calls with my boss. I told him everything she said to me and that I wanted to tell her everything from the start but she cut me off and I was told it didn't matter. So, he does the HR thing and said he didn't get the feeling from my boss that she believed him over me when they spoke. He goes on to guarantee I'd be safe in the store no matter what. He started to explain how it would be if he were to remain employed and that I'd be safe. He'd have no contact with me unless it was work related. He asks if I still wanted to quit and I told him I really didn't want to quit because I really like the job and that I told my boss I would be coming back to work as of right now. I.. uh did not.
I ghosted everyone for a few days. I was exhausted, trying to figure out what to do. I knew I couldn't work with him there. The investigation wasn't complete but everything prior made me believe... he was sticking around. Even if he was terminated my boss made me uncomfortable on a whole other level. So, I decided I needed to quit.
I emailed the HR guy my resignation letter. I apologized for not contacting anyone sooner and explained regardless of the outcome I wasn't comfortable coming back because of how my manager handled everything and reiterated what I told him on the phone that she said. I also explained I didn't feel that I was mentally well enough to work. He replied telling me I can call him and talk about it more if I wanted and hoped I would reconsider my employment.
No contact since but I've had this overwhelming urge to write everything out and email it to the HR guy. While there were consensual moments during the relationship with this person, it all started from being harassed and continued harassment if I tried to end his advances. I don't have texts but I have a good memory and I've been able to piece together a timeline including some dates of certain events that occurred at work. The problem still being there was no camera in the room certain events occurred so I don't think I can really prove anything. But this man had a history of unwanted advances with other coworkers - I was just dumb enough to fall victim. He gave me a false sense of trust and made no romantic advances initially. I want to make all of what he did known. Whether or not anything comes of it I can rest easier knowing I at least put it out there and they have record of what happened in case he attempts something similar.
So... I want to email the HR guy but I have a few questions that I hope can be answered:
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2023.06.07 23:33 doogleonion Betrayed after second chance

If you look at my post history you would see I broke up with my boyfriend over incompatibilities and me being uncomfortable with how close he is with his female best friend last week. I broke up with him one week before my 25th birthday. We ended up talking in person on Saturday (2 days before my birthday) and getting back together after he was very apologetic and saying he’ll work on the things we were incompatible about and saying he will distance himself from said girl.
The next day, Sunday, before we broke up he had plans to take me out of town for my birthday to the zoo and to restaurants and whatever. But because we broke up for a few days I already made plans that Sunday and he ended up taking the girl best friend and she essentially got my birthday experience.
Whatever, I was upset, we talked about, I was like I’ll live it’s fine.
Today he tells me via text while we were broken up they had had sex four times over the course of two days and she admitted to having feelings for him…which I been fucking saying she did.
I would have forgiven the sleeping with her if he cut her off after. But sleeping with her, then getting back together with me, then taking her out on my birthday, me expressing how that bothered me and being told why it should be okay, AND THEN learning he had slept with her is really fucking me up.
I feel betrayed beyond belief and like a fucking clown for taking him back.
I still haven’t broke up with him again, I want to sit on it and get advice and etc for a couple days. I just wanted ti rant because I want to wait until/if I break up to tell friends so I guess I’d rather tell strangers.
What do y’all think?
submitted by doogleonion to BreakUps [link] [comments]

2023.06.07 23:32 JumpyMishka anyone else feeling a bit discouraged?

i am 213 and 5'9...highest weight ever of 320
lowest: 185
i'm pretty sure i gained weight when i was 185 working in fast food through my horrible coworkers at the time as this one job i had (specific job) and because some of the guys they liked bigger women. so that behavior made me more lax in gaining weight and slipping, i'm pretty sure...i was like 21.
"be you, bla bla."
even though i didn't like anyone there...
and food.
but i have been overweight all my life. looking to get down to 168, 172 and kept a calorie log for past two years.
anyone else feeling discouraged? i am exercising through work and at home.
i remember being really obsessed when i was 265 and that led me to losing the weight.
but now it's hard. i'm going to fast to test my willpower. that's my last ditch attempt. then it's rybelsus. i don't do needles. but i don't have enough money yet with one income...
what were your options? i tried adderall in the past when i was 15, but now can never get on it again. i got prescribed for morbid obesity at 15.
the next option is i guess...gastric balloon or sleeve?
submitted by JumpyMishka to loseit [link] [comments]

2023.06.07 23:32 christinamonica Help w a solid routine

Hello, I'm Christina and something to know about me is that I’ve been working to become the best version of myself for my son since he was born really, but really got serious about it when I decided to get sober. I’ve been consistently working at it for about 5 years now. My son is 7, and here comes my old story full of my old wounds if never feeling good enough. In general I’ve struggled with this feeling, but parenthood has its unique way of surfacing all of my deepest darkest habits. Lately I’ve noticed I’m cold towards my son. I feel annoyed that he wants to show me things all the time. I posted in a Reddit forum and received amazing support and insight. Basically when I was 7 my mom abandoned me, officially, and I became a little grown up. I think I’ve unconsciously been expecting my baby boy to do the same. I don’t want to do this, I don’t want to be cold towards him, which is why I’m here. Once I become aware of my coldness I’m able to break it by becoming present and making a conscious effort to show him love and attention when he asks for it. That being said, I’m good as of now, but I’m nervous I’ll slip back into my old habits of saying “I see you” and never meeting him w excitement. I know I have a hard time experiencing joy and pleasure, and enjoying the good things in life. I’ve done enough therapy to realize I need to put it into practice and just start feeling happy about life. But I guess my traumas still get the best of me, as I feel safest when I’m sad. I understand the body’s resistance to change to I understand why I feel the way I do. Perhaps I’m having a hard time letting go of the wounded part of myself, as she’s kept me safe for all this time. I know I would benefit from saying my farewell to her and owning who I am now, a strong and empowered wise woman. All that being said, what’s your morning routine look like? I now have a 4 mo son and my 7 yo son. Give me the details. I need a good routine to keep me grounded.
submitted by christinamonica to ParentingThruTrauma [link] [comments]

2023.06.07 23:32 ntcx Sportster Wiring

First wanted to thank the folks who helped me get this diagram figured out in the first place and trouble shoot any issues I’ve had thus far. But at this point I’m feeling stumped- I need help diagnosing and fixing an issue with the way I wired up my 03’ sportster- when I turn the key switch on I don’t get power. I’ll attach a diagram of the harness as well as directions included with the key switch ignition.
I’m not running any electronic hand controls or turn signals. Included are a Dynatek 2ki ignition module, Dynatek coil, VOES, reg/rec and stator, one breaker, the starter, Prism magic box and PS41 tail light, rear brake switch coming off a banjo bolt on the rear master cylinder and stock headlight and bucket. I’m using a 5 post key switch made by Pollak that I got off Throttle Addiction.
I’m using 14ga cloth covered wire that I stripped, crimped o-ring terminal connectors, heat shrunk and soldered where necessary (as well as a little bit on the connectors.)
There are 5 posts on the key switch- two M (directions say 1 M post is ground, but I ran a loose wire from that post to a ground on the bike and it still didn’t solve my issue.) A (headlight, taillight, coil) B (wire from the same post that the positive battery cable is ran to) and S (wire coming from the clip in starter connection.)
I’ve tested the AGM battery I’m running at 12.54v after leaving it on the charger overnight. I’ve checked each ground (headlight, VOES, tail light) and they all read 12.53-12.54v on the multimeter. So it seems battery and ground are good? When I turn the key switch on, I can run an alligator clip/loose wire from the positive battery terminal to either side of the breaker and get power on the headlight, tail light, and ignition module (tested rear brake switch this way as well, which is functional.)
Thanks for your help.
(Ignition key switch directions I have found on the right side of this PDF:
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2023.06.07 23:31 motorcitywings20 I am blown away by the TF journey

It was like out of a dream when my twin flame and I were seeing each other. We’d joke about how we were “basically the same person” and it was creepy how much we had in common.
She broke things off and said she needed to work on things but couldn’t understand why she was feeling the way she was and that she never felt like it before, judging how much chemistry we had and how authentic and surreal it all was I knew she couldn’t bullshit it so I was wondering what was going on.
I was in an era where I was just so hurt and searching for answers as to what went wrong and I had a dream about her and then the numbers “444” jumped out at me and I woke up.
I had no idea what it meant but I literally felt a sense of calm come over me and it lasted for days until twin flame was a word that came popping up on my tiktok all the time, so I got curious looking as to what that was and it was the only thing that ever made sense as to what happened. From first meeting, the runnechaser dynamic, etc.
I never understood why she seemed that she wanted me so bad and she was holding herself back.
The first time I said i’m quitting this and i’m going to try moving on for my own mental health… Her ex boyfriend whom i’ve never heard of followed me on instagram. Which puzzled the hell out of me.
I was so worried about being delusional that I would consciously deny the connection and the moment my brain goes on autopilot I’m subconsciously aware of the connection.
It really is like the universe is fully assuring me that this is a real thing and that she is my TF. Things keep happening where i’m like “you can’t make this shit up” lol.
We are still in separation but I am at a stage where all my deniability and fears in the connection have subsided and I wish her the best in life. With or without me :).
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2023.06.07 23:31 Never_Gonna_Be_Free How would you deal with “chav” bullies?

Was always a bit of a nerdy girl and got bullied. No matter what I did, they wouldn’t leave me alone. They were much stronger than me so I didn’t fight them. I tried ignoring it, standing up for myself (with words), reporting it, being nice to them. Nothing worked. So I was wondering…. How did you deal with “chav” bullies?
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