When I was living with my exwBPD, I ended up taking on all the household chores and childcare duties. They struggled with depression and felt guilty about not being able to help out much, so I tried to be as kind as possible about it to them. I often asked for help and gave them oportunities to jump back in, but they told me this made them feel guilty and judged. Eventually, I stopped asking for assistance and just did everything myself, hoping they would start feeling better over time. They used to idealize me a lot, expressing gratitude for all my efforts. They even said that without me, things might have taken a darker turn and that their kids were lucky to have me as a step-parent. They also reassured me not to stress too much about keeping the house perfectly clean, but I preferred a tidy space for myself. So, I would do my best to tidy up after them and the kids, even though it was challenging to keep up.
Things got tougher because of their shopping habits. They would often bring home new stuff, like furniture and trinkets, which made the house cluttered and less functional. Sometimes, they would forget about these items for weeks, creating a hazardous and chaotic environment.
Eventually, I reached a point where I couldn't handle all the responsibilities anymore, so I decided to get my own place nearby. As part of the plan, I would visit their house regularly and participate in their relationship/family life while having a quiet space for work and hobbies. When I discussed this plan with them initially, they were supportive. But when I actually got the keys, they suddenly accused me of abandoning them, which was a big 180. I genuinely thought they might be going through some sort of a mental breakdown as I didn't know about the BPD yet.
After our confrontation, they explained that they were afraid that I was quietly leaving them, despite my reassurances. Then, out of the blue, they decided to leave their own home, where they lived with their children, and moved in with me. They told their family that they were getting psychiatric treatment at a hospital. I thought it was only temporary, but then they simply showed up and never left.
During that period, they still didn't contribute much to the household chores. They still spent their days in bed, engrossed in their phone. They also expressed an interest in having an open relationship, which took up a lot of their already limited attention and energy. Occasionally, they would help with tidying up when their new partner was coming by, but otherwise, they didn't do much.
We never really talked about the long-term plan for their children, who were being taken care of by a family member at that point. The whole situation was confusing, but I avoided pushing the issue, thinking it was related to their mental health struggles and that they would eventually get back on their feet.
After several months of them going back and forth between withdrawal from me and excitement over their new partner, I couldn't take it anymore. I felt neglected, anxious, and emotionally drained. Their idealization of me had faded, and even though they made some kind gestures, I could sense their emotional distance, which made my clinginess worse.
One day, they suggested transitioning from a romantic relationship to being "best friends and roommates." They still didn't want to move back home. At the time, I didn't fully understand what that meant, so I agreed. But after about a month, I couldn't handle seeing them so caught up in a new, shiny relationship. Overwhelmed with emotions, I ended up crying, and they reacted by abruptly and cruelly ending our relationship. They went back home to live with their children, blaming the breakup and their return on me, claiming they no longer wanted to be a parent and that I was "subjecting them to their children". We never discussed this before, and they were the ones who initiated both the breakup and the decision to move back home with their children.
They accused me of being toxic and claimed they had been blind to my supposed toxicity for months. They even started mirroring the behaviors of my replacement, changing their appearance and preferences, and asserting that I had prevented them from being their true selves.
I was completely shocked by this sudden and significant change in their perspective. It's been three months since we separated, and we talk sporadically. They go back and forth between saying they're miserable (although I suspect it's manipulation to make me feel guilty) and how much better they feel without me "weighing them down." They even told me they no longer have feelings for their new partner, but I've heard from friends that they still spend a lot of time together and have even gone to all "our" favorite spots and date locations.
The last I heard, their house was still cluttered. However, today I found out from a family member that they sent the kids to their ex's for four days to "organize the house." That's not something they would have done while I was there. Although they liked frequently rearranging furniture and redecorating, it used to make me anxious because they struggled with the task but never asked for help. When I offered assistance once, they got annoyed, so I assumed they would ask me if they needed help. Then they complained, accusing me of not stepping in when they clearly needed help, which left me feeling like I couldn't win.
I'm worried that I genuinely had a negative impact on their life, despite my best efforts, and now that I'm not around, their home will go back to being perfectly tidy like it used to be. They blamed me for doing too much for them, saying it made them incapable while I lived there. But I always encouraged them to contribute and did what was necessary. Sometimes, they would even complain that I focused too much on housework and didn't spend enough time with them!
I'm just wondering if anyone has been through a similar situation with their pwBPD and seen them genuinely make significant improvements in their life and find lasting happiness after ending the relationship.

I originally had an issue with my PC restarting itself every time I played video games (it would restart 15-20 minutes in. Usually playing intense games like Diablo IV and Hitman 3). It would even get to a point where I was stuck in a restart loop.
I ended up wiping everything from my computer and reinstalled windows. During reinstallation my circuit breaker tripped. I didn’t think it was a big issue until I moved my PC to another room and it tripped again. What might be the issue? I’m starting to think it’s more of a hardware issue than software.

Last July (2022) I (52F) was driving by a dealership and they have this hot little blue sports car in the front line that catches my eye. I was on a mission and couldn't stop so that night I go online to check the dealer inventory. I have a nice little Honda coupe, but it's older and needs a paint job. I find the ad for the car, a 2019 Toyota 86 GT, and although I'm disappointed it's an automatic (I love driving stick shift), it's not a deal breaker. It's rear wheel drive, has a sport (traction off) mode for racing and steering wheel paddles for standard-style shifting. The car was listed for a reasonable price, but I was getting married in a few months, (destination wedding) and wasn't sure it was responsible to buy a car right then. I talk to my fiance and we go to the dealership after hours to peek in the windows and check it out. He's supportive and encouraging, if I like the car I should buy it. I'm still not sure and hem and haw a few more days. I call my insurance and while the quote is high, it's not unreasonable. I keep thinking about the car and eventually go back to the dealership website to apply for it. The next day, I get a call from the salesperson letting me know I'm approved and asking when do I want to sign the paperwork. This is mid-July. I ask if I can delay delivery of the vehicle until after I return from a planned trip for a family memorial service, to early August. They agree and so I sign the papers, we do the photos and I walk out with some swag. I come back from my trip to Alberta, pick up the car and drive it home. I immediately contract COVID, get the sickest I've ever been in my life and am in bed for close to a month. There goes summer! I'm finally well and get to drive my new toy in September. The car is a dream to drive, so responsive and can pass anyone like they're standing still. I have fun driving it for about a month. But, because I live in the Yukon (#Whitehorse), I decide to park it for the winter when they start throwing gravel down on the roads. Fast forward to May (yes, our winters are that long) and I am finally able to drive her again. In the meantime, I've been looking at, and dreaming of, getting back into horses and riding. Problem is, I can't afford to have a horse while I'm making payments on the car. I take my little car for a (day) road trip and while it's awesome, I realize that I want the horse more. Problem is, although the sticker price was reasonable, all the extra fees the dealership added on, plus the full extended warranty I added means the car is a little over-priced to try and sell. Now, I've got ads on FB, Kijiji and Autotrader, but no bites. I've found a horse I want and lined up a place to board it, but can't get rid of the car. [TLDR: I bought a car and then realized I'd rather have a horse. I can't afford both and the car is too expensive to sell]

Whitehorse

For context I have been working in the IT space for about a year and half now. My title is "IT Support Specialist", not that that defines anything in the IT world but I have a hand in absolutely everything IT related at my company. There are three of us on the team. Directory, Lead, and myself. The company is small so we all work side by side a lot. I honestly feel like my title doesn't reflect the things I have been exposed to while working here, maybe I am just delusional to what typical IT support specialist responsibilities include but I have System Admin rights for every piece of software we use.
All of that to say, so what now? I really love this company, its the first time the buzz work "culture" has actually meant something to me on top of the fact the insurance is amazing and free if I do a biometric and there are other perks too. My pay isn't the best which is partially how I ended up here. I really like the security side of things and while I know that is a hot topic and I am not blind to the reality of that field. So I'm studying for the security+ with an associates in IT being my only other credential.
Should I just pinch pennies and make it work while slowly getting qualified in a more niche area of IT while I have the flexibility to do so in my currently position? Or is it smarter to start looking for something my experience alone from the past year and a half will give me? Just want a non-emotionally charged answer because that is all I can give myself at the moment and I feel like I have been running in circles trying to figure what the best course of action is.

I suppose this is an anecdote I am just sharing. Anyone else with me? Sorry - it's super rambly! But I had to brain dump this all somewhere.
So, five days ago I got my diagnosis of ADHD. This was unforeseen (by me). My closest friend says it checks out, haha. I was meeting with a psychiatrist merely to try a different medication for depression. I also picked up a diagnosis of OC. I felt pretty side blinded - even offended. I ticked a lot of boxes for it. Family members (siblings) have it and honestly, I felt like the black sheep neurotypical...until further inspection after my diagnosis. I'm in my mid 30s and it shocked the heck out of me.
Now everything is making so much sense, the way I am. I haven't been able to put a finger on it my whole life. I immediately have gone down the rabbit hole on women with ADHD. A good majority seems to explain all of my struggles, differences, and ways of operation. All of a sudden, I can "see" why so much has been amiss. I assumed everyone had a constant trail of inner chatter (I just knew mine is super bad to the point where I can't sleep despite being exhausted). I thought I was just a good multitasker. I have thought that my exhaustion from little stuff was also due in part to how busy I am. I have so many hobbies and I get super invested (mentally and monetarily). I think the last 5 years though, my burn out on my hobbies has gotten faster and faster. Maybe the mode of my interests have changed to become noticeable to me, but again, have brushed it off to being a parent with a hectic schedule. I have neurotypical friends, and maybe half neurodivergent. One child of mine is ND (diagnosed) and likely the second one will be too.
I've always have had a hard time taking criticism. Usually mocked by my parents as a kid or teased for being sensitive. It's a skill I have had to work on so hard. Some days I pretty much melt with exhaustion. I learned there are things called doom piles, of which I have plenty. I have my own successful business (which I didn't realize that a fair amount of ADHD women have). I have had a fair amount of failed business attempts with so many false starts but with all the passion you can imagine. Not a hoarder but I do have TONS of stuff. I am way too nostalgic and hang onto a lot of memorabilia Recently more signs have flaired up in my life. I'm pretty work/job avoidant. I haven't stayed anywhere longer than three years. The social fatigue of superficial engagement mentally exhausts me. I rarely ever enjoy working under anyone. Despite much of the mental battles, I usually succeed in time. A lot of stuff though, leaves me feeling so drained. I thought that it was depression. I have made a lot of adjustments the past couple of years to only do what I have spoons available for.
Making friends outside of middle school and into adulthood has been so extremely hard. I've just thought of myself as eclectic - the term I have been using. I have always just never been "girly" enough in someways and never connected with NT girls. Despite having kids, I didn't want to grow up to get married. This never ever made me question that I could be ND though. I have never been labeled "hyper" in anywaay. I'm very organized and very clean. In school, I was always on honor roll or deans list. Some of the strain to do daily tasks have become more difficult as an adult, though. I heard though that this could be because as women we're socialized to really be good at these tasks as an expectation. I knew I had a harder time learning and studying than most, though I doubled down and have done okay.
There's so much more I could say. In summary, I chalked up so much of my traits to just being me. I never knew it could be ADHD. I feel like it can be a misnomer. I'm still wrapping my head around it and me being a thing, haha.
Did anyone else not see a diagnosis coming?

I'm not feeling well, I assume this is seasonal allergy thingy (I think I have a dust allergy, but i have no idea what else) but it's never been this bad. this has been going for 2 weeks, but the problem with nostrils have started 5-6 days ago. The inside of my room is normal. Roughly 26 m² with a bed, a table and a wardrobe. Yet still, when I try to sleep, not only one but both of my nostrils get stuffy. None of these things I noted below helped with this. This is day 5 and I'm just, done with this whole thing. I cleaned the whole room, and changed my bedsheets. I leave the windows open, since day 2 I went to the doctor and got myself an anti allergy pill (Cetirizine) I'm not sure if it helped, but my nostrils are still stuffy I used 3 different nasal sprays, 2 didn't do anything, one did help but it makes me sneeze 6-7 times (no exceptions and that feeling sucks) before slightly helping my nostrils for 20 minutes until it's stuffy again. I did saltwater nose cleanse which did NOTHING. I either suck at it or my nostrils got hands. I tried weird Youtube "hacks" to help your nasal congestion which did nothing. At this point i don't want to sleep here. Yesterday I slept at 4 am because of this but yesterday was my day off and i can't keep doing this. I want a permanent solution to this whole thing.

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Hi, if anyone could please help me understand or fix my game crashing, I'd really appreciate it, thanks. I hope this is the right sub and everything you need to know is here, if not just ask me and I'll try provide.
I've been playing with the same mods more or less for the past year, stopping and resuming playing the same save intermittently. The game has always worked fine and as intended aside from an annoying freeze/crash that happens without a pattern (or at least one I've noticed). A lot of the time I can play fine for 10 minutes or so, but sometimes it happens within a minute of loading my save. I don't think it's ever happened while in menus, and it seems to only happen when outside (I think anyway). Just to clarify; the crash is a screen freeze, the only audio to continue is music/ambience which just loops indefinitely, and even after an hour of waiting, the game doesn't resume so I have to force close the application.
I've just been playing around this for months with a new habit of constantly quick saving but I'm finally sick of the crashing. I've tried to understand the error log, reading the reports in the final seconds before the crash, but I can't figure anything out really.
Here is a link to a Google Doc with my mod list. (I can't access Pastebin for some reason)
Here is a link to a copy of the crash log on Google Drive. - The last logs are just 'VM is Thawing...', 'VM is Freezing...', 'VM is Frozen', and 'Saving Game...'. The final log is the thawing one.
My PC specs are:

• AMD Ryzen 7 2700X Eight-Core Processor (3.70 GHz)
  
• Radeon RX 580 Series GPU (8GB)
  
• 32GB DDR4 Ram
  
• Running Skyrim SE with Vortex Mod Manager on Windows 10
  

Thanks in advance for any insight anyone can provide me.

As you might know, Apple just launched Game porting Toolkit which can translate Windows DirectX games to Apple’s native games.
I mean, I’m amazed by what a few people are posting in YouTube after trying out the toolkit.
Eg: Mac port of Cyberpunk (supposedly) done just a day after this toolkit was made available
If Valve could take the effort and do what the toolkit is really supposed to do, then it might be a big help for the ones who play DOTA 3 in Mac.

I'm currently around level 70 and been playing world tier 4 since level 58. Here are some issues and improvements I thought could easily be made to significantly quell some of players demands without working systems entirely.
Account Progress
Altars and campaign progress can carry over between characters, but it's clear that even on one character, most hardcore arpg players are already annoyed at all the side content needed to gain full character power (Renown). Here's some possible changes that could alleviate this as well as give purpose to certain content that loses purpose by itself.
Things that should carry over permanent if chosen (similar to campaign UI box to skip after completion for alts)

1. Map/Fog Reveal Progress
2. Dungeon Completion (renown AND codex

Things that should give renown (even if at low amounts since they are repeatable)

1. Mastery of Random Area Events
2. Mastery of Cellar Events

The above changes would remove tedious tasks from new characters every season while giving value to those random events and cellars. Also removes that "what possible side quest am I missing, I have to google it" feeling to areas by making a repeatable farm for renown until cap that feels manageable and engaging rather than a scavenger hunt.
​
Mounts and Travel
Simple, Mounts could easily be improved to feel better more often.
​

1. Increase base mount speed (especially for towns that don't allow sprint)
2. Decrease cooldown outside the PvP area to remount
3. Allow Sprint to destroy objects in your path (such as barricades) or simply make barricades smaller to be able to path around them

World Tier 3 and 4 End Game Improvements
While there are certainly areas of the game that do feel very good to play after world tier 2, the entirety of the game is too inconsistent. Players want (at least at higher difficulties where their build is coming online) higher density and less backtracking. Most dungeons and events suffer from either lack of density or lack of rewards (some event/objective elites do not give rewards until the end via a chest which is only a fraction of how much killing you actually have done during the event.
An Example of a great dungeon is Blind Burrows, Very dense, Limited back tracking, a healthy amount of elites with the objective monsters giving full loot. There's also a few issues with helltide and world bosses that could be quickly and easily improved as well

1. Review and increases certain monster families density (both general pack size and elite frequency)
2. Open World and Dungeon Event monsters should drop full loot in addition to completion chest
3. Vastly improve Hell-Tide elite frequency (More Akin To PvP Areas during this limited event)
4. Mark Random World Event Areas From Vastly Further Distances in the Hell-Tide Area
5. World Boss and Strong Hold Event Timers within the UI

Final Additional Thoughts on Trading
I fully understand the issues and stance against real-money-trading and botting in regards to the trading limits. However, by not including an item for item asynchronous trading system within the game ,or at the very least a way to list and search via some sort of official trading site that isn't the forums only inconveniences the normal and rule-abiding player base.
Players that are rulebreakers with RMT/Bots will STILL seek to do these things even with friction. The friction might slow them down a LITTLE, but it significantly hurts the normal economy and normal players by not having the system be easier.
Keep the specific item restrictions if you must, but find a way to improve the trade experience that doesn't involve searching through many, many forum posts.
Conclusion
There are some very fun and enjoyable content areas in the game currently. These suggestions hope to expand on the good areas of the game and make them more consistent, as well as alleviate some of the more tedious aspects that are already making certain things feel like a chore rather than a fun journey (most of which will be optional for the player to choose how much carries over and how they want to fill out their renown).

So I am trying my best to stay calm and approach the situation nicely. But holy shit is he dumb.
I really want to support him as he said his girlfriend will absolutely not consider anything other than having this baby.
But I'm not sure how this will play out for them, he is almost 19, graduated last year but hasn't held down a job for longer than a month, he was just diagnosed with diabetes and says he "can't work because he's disabled". He relies solely on my step mom for all of his needs.
His girlfriend is a year older than him and can't even order food at a restaurant without having a panic attack, her family is emotionally and physically abusive and that's why she moved out into my step moms house. She works 15 hours a week at Walmart for minimum wage.
How would you approach this? I have a 9 month old and it's even hard for me and my wife to make everything work well.

First of all I must warn you that I hated playing Trapper avoiding playing with him whenever possible (to be honest I only gave him Prestige 03 because I want to have all the perks of the game at hand) until yesterday and so I don't know if what I did it's already a common strategy for the character, at least I've never seen a Trapper do that, anyway I already apologize in advance.
Yesterday the Hunter's Daily Ritual appeared and I thought to myself "why not?", I went with a brown addon and ended up on the red map... sorry, The Decimated Borgo/Knight's Map.
I set a trap on the pallet of the Assassin's Hut and another one outside the window, while I'm in the saga of preparing the other traps I hear a Nea scream, I drop it, I pick it up, I put my fourth charm on the hook and I go back to the hut and it's this is where the silly trick begins.
I look at the window trap and think "uh, that trap outside is too obvious, I'll put it inside" and I do, shortly after Bill gets caught in the window trap and I get one more extra charm for the my hook while having a fit of laughter, never in my life did I think such a silly strategy would work so well..
Again I stare at the trap as I open it again and think "I don't think any survivors will be so dumb as to enter the cabin through the window again, nor will I bother to move the trap". Huge. Mistake.
Bill is released, I go after someone else, when all of a sudden my favorite smoker screams, I turn around and see he's fallen into a trap... the one in the cabin... which I thought it would be a no-brainer to change her back outside the window... and I start laughing like a sick man.
Since then I started playing with him more, but I still haven't had the chance to do it again, but I'm glad I did, otherwise I would never have gotten over my "prejudice" towards the character (I don't like having to use a purple addon to start with all my traps, for me that should be the usual basekit) and started buying addons, since I gave it Prestige 03 in the old system and so I didn't have any yellow, green, purple or pink addon in my inventory, just a few brown addons. 🤣

My LVSKIHP modem died so there are sending me an LV65 setup. I was thinking about putting it on the roof so I can get rid of it being an eyesore on the window. Does anyone know if tHey send you a pole and hardware to mount it?

Trying to lose weight on the cheap, as I'm broke, and seeing what people eat, that is relatively cheap.
I used to get some nutritional shakes from Walmart but apparently they stop selling them and now the replacements have about 50% more carbs, 16g to 25g respectively.
So what does everyone eat? My budget is about $50 a week. I was spending about $80 for 2 weeks for shakes and nuts but looks like I'll have to make some changes

Hello everyone. I want to go to WGU for the cybersecurity program. I am 23 and have been out of school for a couple years now. I have minor knowledge in computers such as basics on windows/Mac and building computers. I am also brand new to programming. Anyone know where I should start before heading into this degree or should I just start the program and face it head on.
Edit: I have no credits so I would be starting fresh.

About a week ago, my 15 week old started having really short awake windows (about 45 minutes) compared to the 90 minute awake windows he was having. I thought it was maybe a growth spurt. He would display sleepy cues, and I'd put him down for a nap. My husband and I contact nap with him, but we had started laying him down in his bassinet after he had fallen asleep and LO would finish his nap there. We had been doing this for two weeks. His naps were usually 1.5 to 2 hours long, with his last nap of the day being 30 min, and then he would sleep great at night, only waking once to eat. Cut to two days ago. Every 45 min he would get tired, he'd contact nap for maybe 30 min to an hour, then wake up and refuse to sleep any longer. I tried putting him in his bassinet and he would lay there wide awake or scream. He used to eat a little bit of a bottle before taking naps/bedtime and have full feeds after he woke up, but now he only wants full feeds before he goes to sleep and has no interest in eating when he wakes up. He has been waking up four to five times every night and is a little crabby pants during the day because he is so tired. Is this the dreaded 4 month sleep regression? Did I ruin my child's sleep patterns with all the contact napping? Did your LOs sleep patterns go back to normal on thier own or did you have to sleep train? Any advice is greatly appreciated!

July 12, 2022
3:14 am
It started out nice. The very beginning is vague to me but I remember riding a bike? behind some goth girl. I threw a pencil at her and she halfway looked back. I threw my headphones case at her and she halfway looked back again. I said something like "so you just not gonna talk to me." Then we start talking and getting to know each other.
I remember waving her parents bye and we took off. We went flying high like in a lucid dream. I felt like we were in Britain and we flew over to America but there wasn't a lot of distance in the flight. Me and the girl then were closer as individuals and we were chilling inside a watch tower. She starts talking to me about the Merkaba and the kundalini energy and spine on the back of playing cards. I can see crystals in the playing cards. This part felt like we were in some 1900's movie and I was watching in third person.
I had a phone and it died but then came back to life all the sudden and it started playing a video. The video was of some man saying "kill shaya kill shaya" (my name).
Then all of the sudden the mans eyes turn ugly white and demonic as he turns to the screen and jumps out and possesses the girl watching the video. She then turns towards me and starts biting chunks out of me. I was so startled and I woke up in sleep paralysis. A shadow came into my room from my window and crept towards me and got very close. I wasn't really scared I just kept on saying in my mind "I love you God" and then the sleep paralysis wore off. I got up and got some water and lit some palo santo. I looked at my oven clock and it said 3:33.