it’s been a while since I’ve posted in this sub Reddit, I have a marriage that has some issues in it but reasons why I haven’t chosen to walk away, but there’s an a lot of tension in our house and a lot of it seems to surround our special needs son and his outbursts but obviously a lot of it is obviously between me and my wife and a lot of negativity, dead bedroom issues, my wife’s negative attitude towards marriage because of her parents’ shitty marriage, as well as money problems that are mainly created by her (student loans and other bad financial decisions, and leaving me on the hook for all of our bills), but this weekend she went away on a girls’ weekend with her friends and I encouraged her to do so to give her a break, but the way everyone in this house is so happy right now, our son has not had any of his outbursts, everybody’s just happy and calm and having a nice weekend makes it very clear with the X factor is the cause of the tension in this house and I’m dreading picking her up from the airport tomorrow. My wife flips out over every little thing and claims that it’s my son’s fault or my fault, she claims that it’s incredibly stressful to do household things and to take care of kids but here I am taking care of my two beautiful children by myself, having a great weekend with them - and the kitchen is clean all the laundry is done, the house is in order and we’re all still happy and nobody’s yelling at each other. I can’t live like this anymore but I still don’t want to walk away.

2022 1040NR / W-7 ITIN Application Guide - Gambling Income Method

The purpose of this post is to provide a simple step-by-step guide for Canadians to apply for and obtain an ITIN so that they can apply for US credit cards and take advantage of US credit card signup bonuses. This guide involves submitting a Form W-7 Application for ITIN and a 1040NR non-resident tax return to the Internal Revenue Service (IRS).
This is a method that should apply to most Canadians. Please leave all questions as comments, as I often browse through this thread without logging in and generally do not respond to DMs.

Disclaimer

I am not a qualified tax professional, so please use this guide at your own risk. The information provided here is for educational purposes only and should not be used as official tax advice.

Notice about Paid Services

Paid services are available, but they are not necessary as the forms are simple to complete. I do not endorse any specific service. If you choose to use a paid service, ensure that their PTIN and full name are disclosed on any 1040NR form you file.
The preparation of a tax return for compensation, including the 1040NR non-resident tax return discussed below, requires that the preparer be registered with the IRS, and the preparer must include the PTIN and their personal information (including their name) on the second page of the 1040NR under "Paid Preparer Use Only", irrespective of the method of submission. If you pay for a service that prepares for you an 1040NR (including a "draft" of such a return), and fails to disclose their PTIN on the documents you file, that preparer may be subject to IRC 6695 penalties, injunction and/or disciplinary action.
If you are using a paid service always ensure that their PTIN and full name are disclosed on any 1040NR you file. It protects you too, as they can be penalized by the IRS for unauthorized disclosure or use of your personal information.

Big Picture: How it Works

There are very specific reason where the IRS will issue an ITIN. These include to obtain tax treaty benefits, to file a tax return, and more. Throughout the years, administrative efficiency has taken away the need to issue an ITIN for the purposes of obtaining a tax treaty benefit. So if you have been reading about obtaining an ITIN by saying "I need an ITIN to reduce my withholding tax with Amazon/Smashwords", this no longer works, it is not worth your time to try.
Instead, the ITIN can be obtained by filing a tax return declaring some amount of U.S. income, which I will share with you upfront, although paid ITIN services will skirt around informing you of this directly. The fact that you haven't actually earned anything is irrelevant here (unless you don't want an ITIN lol). The self-declared income can be sourced from US-based online casinos, so you don't even need to set foot in the USA to claim US-source gambling income (as noted by Prince of Travel).
Think of it as "I have $85 USD of gambling/interest income sourced from the USA (e.g. gambling: specifically from blackjack, baccarat, craps, roulette, or big-6 wheel; interest: interest from a US source), and I'm an upstanding person so I need to report it to the IRS".
This guide will use gambling income, but it only takes minor changes if you want to report interest income instead on your 1040NR instead.

Timeline

The time it takes for you to receive your ITIN letter varies greatly but appears to have settled around 1.5 months in 2023 at the time I updated this post. You may want to read through comments in this thread or the 2022 thread (for 2021 tax forms), to see other people's timelines. Please share your own! I sort the threads by New in order for newer data points to be more visible.

Who it won't work for:

• People eligible for a SSN (are eligible to work in the USA and don't need an ITIN)
• People who already have an ITIN (it will require minor modifications to submit for renewal)
• People who have other sources of US-source income (please get professional tax help)

What you'll need to prepare the forms:

• Download the following forms
• W-7 Form (and the W-7 instructions for reference)
• 1040NR Form
• Supplementary forms and schedules to the 1040NR: !!!!* Schedule 1 !!!!* Schedule OI
• Proof of identity, Canadian passport preferred, see below
• A listing of dates you were physically present in the USA for, for the year you are filing for (currently 2022 tax year) - it's ok if this is zero.
• Number of days in USA for each of the three previous years (2020, 2021, 2022)
• Your Social Insurance Number (Canada)

What you don't need:

• Proof of gambling income - you are self-declaring gambling income, and in practice the amount of income you declare is less than the amount required for a casino to issue you a W-2G (a form that declares your gambling winnings)
• To step foot in the USA during the year you are filing - you are self-declaring gambling income from an online US-based casino

Completing the W-7 (Rev Aug. 2019)

• Screenshots of completed forms (square is optional)
• At the top right of the form, select Apply for a New ITIN
• Under Reason you’re submitting Form W-7., check b
• Complete the Name section, must match your passport
• Complete Mailing Address: Foreign is okay - IRS will return your documents here
• Complete Foreign (non-U.S.) Address: Yes, you need to write it out again even if it's the same as Mailing Address
• Birth Information: Complete. If your birth country is not recognized as one by the USA, you will need to fill in a country recognized by the USA.
• Countries of Citizenship: You need to enter all the countries you have citizenship in 6a
• Foreign Tax I.D. Number: You MUST enter your Canadian Social Insurance Number in 6b
• Type of U.S. Visa: Leave blank. If you have a US Visa (e.g. F-1, TN or H1-B) and are physically working or studying in the USA, do not use this guide. If you have a temporary visa, you can choose to enter it here (see my comments)
• Identification Document Submitted: Check Passport, enter Canada, your Passport Number and the expiry date, leave blank date of entry
• 6e: No
• 6f: leave blank
• 6g: leave blank
• Sign Here: Sign in ink and enter the date and your phone number (Canadian phone number okay)
• Acceptance Agent's Use ONLY: Do not complete

2022 Form 1040NR:

• Screenshot of completed form (square is optional)
• Filing status: Single, Married filing separately or Qualifying Widower (widowed within last two calendar years, and have a dependant)
• Name: Must match W-7
• Identifying number - leave blank
• Complete preferred foreign mailing address
• Virtual currency: This is about cryptocurrency, NFTs and other digital assets and is explained on Pg 15 of the 2022 1040 Instructions, tl;dr just need to put yes/no, don't need to actually report income on return.
• Dependents: You don't have to claim dependents, just leave it blank
• Line 8: Enter that magical number greater than $75 and less than $100 that you're claiming as your gambling income
• Line 9: Same as Line 8
• Line 11: Same as Line 8
• Line 15: Same as Line 8
• Line 16: If your number that you picked above was >=75 and <100, then enter 9 (for 2022), otherwise consult Page 3 of the Tax Table
• Line 18: Enter the same amount as Line 16
• Line 22: Enter the same amount as Line 16
• Line 24: Enter the same amount as Line 16
• Line 26: 0 (Zero)
• Line 32: 0 (Zero)
• Line 33: 0 (Zero)
• Line 37: Same as Line 16
• Line 38: Leave blank - your income is less than $1,000, therefore you should not owe a penalty according to Form 2210.
• Third Party Designee check no, unless you are doing this for P2 and want to
• Sign Here: Sign in ink, date and enter your occupation. Phone and email are optional. Leave PIN blank.
• Paid Preparer Use Only: Leave blank

Schedule 1:

• Screenshot of completed form
• Name at the very top of page
• Part I, Line 8b: Enter the amount from Line 8 of your 1040NR
• Line 9: Same number
• Line 10: Same number
• There is a Page 2, you can include it blank in your application or omit it entirely

Schedule OI:

• Screenshot of completed form
• Name at the very top of page
• A: What country you were a citizen or national during the tax year (legal immigration status)
• B: What country were you a tax resident of during the year: if you live and work in Canada, it is probably Canada only
• C, D, expected to be no
• E: Write "N/A - Not present in U.S. — No U.S. immigration status" into the line, unless you were physically present in the USA on Dec 31
• F: No
• G: List all dates you entered and left the USA in 2022 (this includes layovers), only applicable if you were physically present in the USA, Possible_Quantity_57 suggested checking the I-94 site for your travel records
• H: Number of days that you were present in each of 2020, 2021 or 2022 (partial days count as a full day) - note that you should get professional tax help if (Days in 2022) x1 + (Days in 2021) x1/3 + (Days in 2020) x1/6 >= 183, since you meet the Substantial Presence Test and may be a U.S. tax resident
• I, J, K: expected to be no, leave the second Yes/No for both J and K blank
• L: Leave blank
• M: Leave blank

Job done!

Congratulations! You finished completing the forms! The next step is to submit the forms to the IRS, briefly here are the four options:

• Book an appt by phone and show up in person to an IRS Taxpayer Assistance Center in the USA, must have completed all docs and bring them to appt (no mailing required), you do not need a certified copy of your passport.
• Mail in your forms along with the original copy of your passport (the IRS will return it by mail)
• Mail in your forms along with a Certified True Copy of the passport, obtainable from Service Canada in-person or by mail. You will need to write a short letter to Service Canada telling them you need a certified copy of your passport e.g. "I am requesting a certified copy of my passport as the US Internal Revenue Service requires a certified true copy of a travel document. This document will be used as proof of identity in the application of a Tax Identification number needed to file a US Non-Resident Income Tax Return."
• Apply via a Certified Acceptance Agent ($$$)

Mailing instructions:

Mail signed W-7, signed 1040NR, Schedule 1, Schedule OI and proof of identity (e.g. original passport or certified true copy of passport) to:
Internal Revenue Service
ITIN Operation
P.O. Box 149342
Austin, TX 78714-9342
USA
Suggested method is via registered mail with Canada Post (~$15), for proof of delivery and tracking. If you are using a private courier (e.g. UPS, FedEx, etc.) use the mailing address on Pg 6 of the W-7 instructions.

IRS Taxpayer Assistance Center - In-Person Appointment

You can submit your forms in-person at an IRS Taxpayer Assistance Center (TAC), located across the USA and available by appointment only during normal business hours. Applying at a TAC saves you from having to mail in your original passport or paying for a certified true copy of your passport.
Call 844-545-5640 to schedule an appointment in advance, up to 2 months before, you will need one appointment per person, even if they are your spouse. Some people have reported difficulty calling from a Canadian phone number, and have been able to obtain success using a VoiP to make the appointment. Others have also reported success from calling 267-941-1000 (not a toll-free number) and letting the phone agent transfer you to the proper line. If the lines are busy, you will need to keep trying until you get through - I would recommend calling with a couple different phones until you get through.
You will need to bring your passport, as well as a duplicate copy of your forms so they can stamp them as received. Upon completion, they will inform you that you will receive a letter letting you know of your ITIN application results mailed to your home.
Appointment length differs based on the agent that serves you. There are data points that go from 20 minutes per person up to 1 hour. Some data points indicate that the clerk at the TAC may confuse your application with another reason of registering for an ITIN (e.g. meeting the substantial presence test). Remember that the clerk's role is to make sure your application is complete before submission, and they do not make any determination on your ITIN application. Kindly remind them that the reason you are filing is to file a tax return (the 1040NR) and that you need it submitted to the ITIN group for their consideration.

Payment

As noted previously, you will owe a small amount of tax to the IRS. Comprehensive instructions on how to pay your US taxes are online.
You can either pay with filing of your 1040NR, or after you receive your ITIN. The easiest way may be to obtain a $USD money order from a Canadian bank (TD, BMO and HSBC are all capable of this), and submitting it with your TAC appointment, or the mailing of your application.
If you have a U.S. bank account (not a $USD account at a Canadian bank) you can also pay by online banking, but only after you obtain an ITIN.
From my own research, if you have a BMO premium chequing account (account fees waived for a minimum balance of $6,000), you're eligible for a BMO $USD chequing account (no fees for withdrawals/deposits), and $USD money orders issued at no fee.

Aren't I Late on filing/paying my taxes for 2022?

If you are concerned about filing your 2022 after the April 18, 2023 filing deadline, it appears from Form 2210 that there is no penalties due if your income is less than $1,000. You will still owe interest on late payment, you can add $2 or $3 to the amount you owe to cover.

I lost my ITIN Letter!

If you lose your ITIN or your ITIN letter, you can get the ITIN by calling the IRS at +1 267-941-1000 and provide your name, mailing address, birthdate. You can then request a generic letter with your ITIN to help you with proof of your ITIN.

ITIN Expiry

Your ITIN will expire. I have not seen any evidence of them reassigning an ITIN to someone else yet, but the possibility exists.

End note

This post was written for free. I'd appreciate it if you would spend a moment to share your timeline (application, ITIN letter, return of proof of identity) and any additional tips you think should be noted! Appreciate the thought. :)

Questions? I do follow this thread. Please post in this thread, do not DM me.

Also, PM me your faxes.

Hitting the road today. I’ve been away from home since my birthday. Making a stop up North to visit my lovely friend and her new man before I head home on Sunday. I love the bus ride from Bellingham to Seattle; I equally love the Ride from Seattle to Olympia. I like to listen to music and think about nothing. It makes me feel the way that I feel in airports…. I exist, but barely. No one knows me. No one know about my messes or my past. For a few hours I don’t feel quite so heavy. Anyway, I’m packed up and I’m dressed. Makeup is on and my hair is still wet. It’s going to be wet for awhile. I can hear the babies squeaking like little dinosaurs in the other room. #1 and I snuggled, watched some weird dinosaur movie on Netflix and ate popcorn while bestie did homework last night. #1 and I were playing a game where we had to whisper because the dinosaurs were going to eat us. I loved it. It made my mommy heart not hurt so bad.
Bestie gave me a hug after she finished her homework “…thank you for being my best friend; tonight I realized I really, really have a best friend and it made me so happy”. Hurt girls never feel truly safe no matter how intensely they love.
Earlier in the week other bestie had a panic attack when she thought I might not make the trek up north. I haven’t been feeling well and my shoulder pain is a 10. I considered not going but when I heard the panic in her voice I knew that she needed me to meet this guy. I bought the tickets and told her I’d be there on Saturday night. She cried with relief when I told her and it reminded me that hurt girls don’t trust other people’s word.
I think this is probably why I have such ferocious bonds with these women. Sometimes I think they like me a little too much. I’m not quite sure what they like about me but I won’t question it too loudly lest they realize I’m not so great. I’m grateful for their unconditional love. Bestie held me until 2am while I cried last night, and then moments later we talked about how Jesus could be a schizophrenic alien and how maybe schizophrenics are the divine ones. We laughed until we cried some more; at 3am I wiped away my tears and I fell asleep with a heart that didn’t hurt quite as deeply as it did before. Sometimes I think that if this is the lasting love that was set apart for me…. Then I am truly lucky. I never imagined I’d have such precious women in my life.
In other news, my mama heart is broken. My own #1 is struggling deeply. He reminds me of me at that age and I so wish I could dig him out. He cried “mama mama mama” over and over again yesterday. It took all of my self control to not buy a ticket back to Columbus. What mother let’s her son hurt like this? Deep in my core I know he has to go through it. It occurred to me for the first time that my child might die before me and I am truly scared for his life. He called my evil ex for help. I’m grateful that my ex is kind to my son. I’m grateful that he is going to help him even though it scares me. Potato says that when my ex asks about me, he tells him he never talks to me. It reinforces the narrative that I’m a piece of shit and that’s okay because I am. I bet helping my lost boy in my absence really gives that narcissist a gigantic boner. But you know what, if my boy gets help then I don’t care what Narcissist thinks. And that’s how it is with my kids.
Chef guy told Bestie to tell me “goodbye. I’m in love with you🤪😜😝”. Which was pretty funny. He tried really hard to get my attention but I was pretty cold. (Bitter. Vindictive. Drunk. Ice Queen. Two cunt.) (I kinda like the ice Queen one though…. Makes me feel less fragile). I’m not interested in being vulnerable again. I concede. When I found out chef guy had a crush on me I was flattered, but when I look at him I think “how are you going to hurt me?”. I haven’t been dating or talking to anyone but different dudes have approached me at different times. Bellingham guy got the picture and I added his number to the graveyard. English Bus guy asked me out so many times I had to take a picture of his phone number so he would believe me when I told him I would call him. I didn’t. And I won’t. Bitter. I can’t see anyone without wondering what it feels like to have my heart broken by them. It makes my stomach churn. I’ll do it alone, thanks.
My boss has been incredibly tender and kind. I had record sales (for myself) last month and got a kudo email for some sales pitches he was cc’d in. He checks on me and asks me if I’m okay; “remember your worth”. It’s nice to be thought of and while I don’t necessarily need to be handled with satin gloves, I like that he does. Makes me feel like I’m not trash. Even though I am. (Two cunts)
When I get home, I have a lot of plans for myself and my alone time. Hopefully the ghosts are gone now. I need a bigger sketchbook, new poscas and better colored pencils. I have a lot of ideas but I’m scared that I won’t commit. I haven’t bought food in a month and I know the apartment is trashed. If sports guy from the bar texts, I’m gonna ignore him. Work Bestie and I start our routine on Monday. It will be nice to have a routine commitment. Still scouring the net for a puppie pie. I want a King Charles cavalier- I’m going to name it “sterling”, after that town in Alaska. I tried to adopt Sherman but when he attacked my feet and made me bleed I decided against it. Poor Sherman. He had been beaten his whole life. I kinda get it. I don’t want anyone fucking with me anymore either. I need to start looking for costumes for comic con. Since we will be there for the whole weekend, I can wear the vest costume on Friday and the ball gown on Saturday. Drink and draw after 8pm with that one comic book artist with Dark Horse. Something to look forward to.
Anyway, it’s time to hit the road. More later I suppose.

The FAA has towers that broadcast ads-b for aircraft that don't have the hardware to do so. That is why we can be aircraft from Nellis with ICAO that start with a ~ to indicate that they are dynamic. These tracks are derived by FAA primary radar for the safety of ads-b aircraft collision avoidance.
Now that I have that out of the way, if you could receive one of these towers, it may broadcast ads-b for the military aircraft using only mode-s or just plain AC. That is a maybe.
Here is one near Tonopah.
https://i.imgur.com/Kfgiam8.jpg
Now it isn't at the airport nor in the metropolis of Tonopah but it is located west of the city. This tower might be "heard" from Brainwash Butte. Something to look out for.
There is a pdf at the top link on this page of the locations of these towers from a FOIA request.
https://inplanesight.org/adsb.html

https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/pikmri/calvin324hks_igs_rep_page/
https://www.reddit.com/sgsflaicomments/of2wzu/flair_profile_ucalvin324hk/
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Fahrenheit: Indigo Prophecy Remastered
Layers of Fear: Masterpiece Edition
Civilization: Beyond Earth – The Collection
Borderlands: The Handsome Collection
Primal Carnage: Extinction
Due Process
SimpleRockets 2
Killing Floor 2
For the King
For The King: Lost Civilization Adventure Pack
Pro Cycling Manager 2020
Tour de France 2020
Infectonator 3: Apocalypse
Warhammer: Chaosbane
Project Highrise
LAST OASIS
The Beast Inside
Terminus: Zombie Survivors
Crown Trick
Discolored
Everhood
Grand Mountain Adventure: Wonderlands
Nomad Survival
Sparklite
The Ramp
Valfaris
Dusk Diver
Neverinth
Tokyo Xanadu eX+
Zengeon
Spirit Hunter: Death Mark
Unmemory
Nigate Tale
Rogue Heroes: Ruins of Tasos
Liberated
Neversong
Nine Parchments
The Walking Dead
Secret Government
Monsters' Den: Godfall
Interplanetary: Enhanced Edition
Learn Japanese To Survive! Hiragana Battle
Learn Japanese To Survive! Kanji Combat
Learn Japanese To Survive! Katakana War
The Eternal Castle [REMASTERED]
THIS WAR OF MINE: COMPLETE EDITION
Cats in Time
Afterparty
Battlecruisers
Astronarch
Save Room - Organization Puzzle
PlataGO! Super Platform Game Maker
Nongunz: Doppelganger Edition
Warhammer vermintide collector's edition
Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
Tank Mechanic Simulator
The Uncertain: Light At The End
INSOMNIA: The Ark
Darkside Detective
Shadow Tactics: Blades of the Shogun
GIGA WRECKER
Panty Party
Fell Seal: Arbiter's Mark
Tannenberg
Golf It!
Heroes of Hammerwatch
The Battle of Polytopia *DLC1. Cymanti Tribe *DLC2. ∑∫ỹriȱŋ Tribe *DLC3. Aquarion Tribe *DLC4. Polaris Tribe
Leisure Suit Larry - Wet Dreams Don't Dry
Lornsword Winter Chronicle
Oddworld: New 'n' Tasty
N++ (NPLUSPLUS)
Yooka-Laylee and the Impossible Lair
Virgo Versus The Zodiac
They Bleed Pixels
Maize
Smile For Me
The Haunted Island, a Frog Detective Game
Frog Detective 2: The Case of the Invisible Wizard
A Hole New World
Sumoman
Shape of the World
Evan's Remains
Ministry of Broadcast
She Sees Red - Interactive Movie
A Long Way Down
Depraved
Helheim Hassle
Neurodeck : Psychological Deckbuilder
Tropico 5 - Complete Collection
Escapists 2
Worms Rumble *Worms Rumble - New Challengers Pack *Worms Rumble - Legends Pack *Worms Rumble - Armageddon Weapon Skin Pack *Worms Rumble - Captain & Shark Double Pack
Achtung! Cthulhu Tactics
Turmoil
Narcos: Rise of the Cartels
Rogue Stormers
Torchlight
Fictorum
Ken Follett's The Pillars of the Earth
Moon Hunters
No Time to Relax
Overpass
Blood Bowl 2
SimCity 4 Deluxe Edition
Conarium
Brawlout
F1 RACE STARS Complete Edition Include DLC
Killing Room
Tenta Shooter / The 触シュー
Everreach: Project Eden
Railway Empire
Looterkings
Headsnatchers
Battlestar Galactica Deadlock
AIdol
Livelock
The Letter - Horror Visual Novel
F1 2018
Tacoma
Hard West - Collector's Edition
Hard West: Scars of Freedom DLC
Masquerada: Songs and Shadows
The Shrouded Isle
Joint Task Force
The World Next Door
Verdant Skies
DISTRAINT 2
Ittle Dew
Ittle Dew 2+
Oxenfree
Monstrum
Strikey Sisters
Do Not Feed the Monkeys
Cyber Ops
European Ship Simulator
Fishing Adventure
Internet Cafe Simulator
Zen Chess: Mate in One, Mate in 2 , Mate in 3 , Mate in 4 , Champion's Moves (5 games)
Transport INC
Shoppe Keep 2 - Business and Agriculture RPG Simulation
Desolate
GRIP: Combat Racing + DLC
OUTBUDDIES DX
Eidolon
Pizza Connection 3
Spartan Fist
River City Ransom: Underground
Saints Row: The Third
Koi-Koi Japan [Hanafuda playing cards] *Koi-Koi Japan : UKIYOE tours Vol.1 DLC *Koi-Koi Japan : UKIYOE tours Vol.2 DLC *Koi-Koi Japan : UKIYOE tours Vol.3 DLC
Mahjong Pretty Girls Battle
Mahjong Pretty Girls Battle : School Girls Edition
Pretty Girls Mahjong Solitaire
Princess Kaguya: Legend of the Moon Warrior
Delicious! Pretty Girls Mahjong Solitaire
Chaos Reborn
Driftland: The Magic Revival
Shadows: Awakening
Caveblazers
Fallback: Uprising
Mordheim: City of the Damned
WRC 7 FIA World Rally Championship
Mana Spark
Autonauts
Nusakana
Shift Happens
Crash Drive 3
Hot Tin Roof: The Cat That Wore A Fedora
Automachef
Demolish & Build 2017
Resort Boss: Golf
Out of Space
Narita Boy
Aven Colony
Alien Breed Trilogy
Tools up
Mount & Blade
Mount & Blade: With Fire & Sword
BLACKHOLE: Complete Edition
Detention
Downfall
Miasmata
Overclocked: A History of Violence
Silver Chains
White Night
The Cat Lady
Syberia 3
Textorcist
GARAGE bad trip
Guts and glory
Swag and Sorcery
Fort Triumph
Orwell: Ignorance is Strength
FRAMED Collection
ROTASTIC
As Far as the Eye
Cepheus Protocol
Overruled
Ageless
Giana Sisters 2D
Prank Call
Hotshot Racing
Undead Horde
Streets of Fury EX
Rec Center Tycoon
JumpJet Rex
Hyper Knights
Vectronom
Levelhead
I am not a Monster: First Contact
Papo & Yo
Crookz the big heist
Iron Fisticle
Sniper: Ghost Warrior 2
Fun with Ragdolls: The Game
Reventure
Smoke and Sacrifice
American Fugitive
The Signal From Tölva
Medieval Kingdom Wars
Rebel Galaxy
XIII - Classic
Comedy Night
Darkness Within 2: The Dark Lineage
FLATLAND Vol.2
The Chess Variants Club
Armada 2526 Gold Edition
Toybox Turbos
Sudden Strike Gold
Airport Madness: World Edition
King's Bounty: Warriors of the North
Planet Alcatraz
NecroVisioN: Lost Company
Star Wolves
Konung 2
Men of War
A.I.M.2 Clan Wars
Parkan 2
El Matador
Ascension to the Throne
Peaky Blinders: Mastermind
The Flame in the Flood
When Ski Lifts Go Wrong
Bomber Crew
10 Second Ninja X
The Sacred Tears TRUE
Fred3ric
Lovecraft's Untold Stories
Path to Mnemosyne
CastleStorm
Crush Your Enemies
Semblance
S.W.I.N.E. HD Remaster
Radio Commander
Boneless Zombie
Robot Squad Simulator 2017
Pretty Girls Panic!
Poker Pretty Girls Battle: Texas Hold'em
VVVVVV
Warhammer Space wolf
Blazing Chrome
Car Mechanic Simulator 2015
Pang Adventures
Party Hard 2
REKT! High Octane Stunts
Thief of Thieves: Season One
Trailblazers
Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide
Demetrios - Deluxe Edition
Cobra Kai: The Karate Kid Saga Continues
GemCraft - Frostborn Wrath
Nickelodeon Kart Racers 2: Grand Prix
Rebel Galaxy Outlaw
Shadowhand: RPG Card Game
Survivalist: Invisible Strain
We Were Here Too
Blacksad: Under the Skin
Heroes of Hammerwatch
Leisure Suit Larry 1-7
Murder by Numbers
Redout: Enhanced Edition
Rise of Industry + 2130 DLC
Ziggurat
They Bleed Pixels
Sunblaze
Noosphere
Train Valley 1+2
Door Kickers: Action Squad
Vikings - Wolves of Midgard
Vambrace: Cold Soul
The Void
The Vagrant
Republique
Nephise: Ascension
Leisure Suit Larry - Wet Dreams Don't Dry
Knock-knock
Jewel Match Atlantis Solitaire - Collector's Edition
Healer's Quest
Fictorum
A Robot Named Fight!
Skautfold Chapters 1-4
Hero of the Kingdom: Trilogy
198X
Danger Scavenger
Doctor Who: The Lonely Assassins
Dread X Collection
Going Under
My Lovely Daughter
Rage in Peace
Flashback
Garfield Kart
Curse: The Eye of Isis
Amerzone: The Explorer’s Legacy
Black Moon Chronicles
Nostradamus: The Last Prophecy
Red Riding Hood - Star Crossed Lovers
Chicago 1930 : The Prohibition
Sinking Island
Haegemonia: Legions of Iron
Occultus - Mediterranean Cabal
Gevaudan
Windscape
Ultra Space Battle Brawl
Through the Woods
This is the Zodiac Speaking
The Uncertain: Light At The End
The Uncertain - The Last Quiet Day
Tales
Tales of the Neon Sea
Styx: Master of Shadows
She and the Light Bearer
Epistory - Typing Chronicles
A Wolf in Autumn
The Music Machine
Jalopy
Insane 2
Antigraviator
All-Star Fruit Racing
Constructor Plus
Ice Lakes
Knights of Pen & Paper 2
Victoria II
Kingdom Come: Deliverance – Band of Bastards
Kingdom Come: Deliverance – From the Ashes
Mindustry

Games
Cube Runner
Slash It Ultimate
Slash It 2
Slash It
Cybercube
Poly Island
Spin Rush
Upside Down
Neon Space
Hungry Flame
Charlie's Adventure
Neon Space 2
Duke of Alpha Centauri

VR Games
House Flipper VR
Telefrag VR
Slinger VR

Wishlist

https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/pikmri/calvin324hks_igs_rep_page/
https://www.reddit.com/sgsflaicomments/of2wzu/flair_profile_ucalvin324hk/
Region: NA (Canada)
Price are in USD. Fees on buyer.
CTRL + F to find your games in terms of name
Humble Keys <------ Click Here to see a full list of humble keys
Yakuza: Like a Dragon Legendary Hero Edition
Two Point Hospital
Castlevania: Lords of Shadow – Ultimate Edition
Trek to Yomi
Shadow Warrior 3
BATTLETECH MERCENARY COLLECTION
BATTLETECH Shadow Hawk Pack
Knights of Pen and Paper +1 Edition
Knights of Pen and Paper - Haunted Fall
KNIGHTS OF PEN AND PAPER 2 - DELUXIEST EDITION
Knights of Pen and Paper 2 - Here Be Dragons
Deathloop
Hell Let Loose
Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice
F1 2019 Anniversary Edition
Valkryia Chronicles 4 Complete Edition
Mafia Definitive Edition
Mordhau
Back 4 Blood
Little Hope
Peaky Blinders: Mastermind
Visage
death stranding
Slay the Spire
Praey for the Gods
Degrees of Separation
Ghostrunner
Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice
Control Ultimate Edition
Encore Duke Nukem: Manhattan Project
Hyper Light Drifter
Dirt 5
Ultimate Chicken Horse
Kentucky Route Zero - Season Pass Edition
Dreamfall Chapters
Wuppo
Human: Fall Flat
Northgard
The Witness
Borderlands: The Handsome Collection
MO:Astray
Metro Exodus
Pathfinder: Kingmaker - Enhanced Plus Edition
Super Mag Bot
Blade Assault
Where the Water Tastes Like Wine
TOEM
Backbone
GreedFall
Wasteland 3
GAS STATION SIMULATOR
IN SOUND MIND
MIND SCANNERS
EMILY IS AWAY <3
OMNO
ATOM RPG Trudograd
Banners of Ruin
Lawn Mowing Simulator
Legend of Keepers
Yes, Your Grace
Endzone - A World Apart
60 Parsecs
XCOM: ULTIMATE COLLECTION
PGA 2K21
Bioshock Collection
Warhammer: Vermintide 2 - Collector's Edition
JUST CAUSE 4: COMPLETE EDITION
Plague tale
Gas station simulator
Mind scanners
BATTLESTAR GALACTICA DEADLOCK SEASON ONE
Gamedec
Command & Conquer Remastered (Origin)
Surviving The Aftermath
Genesis Noir
Dirt Rally 2.0

Stand With Ukraine Charity Bundle
Gang Beasts
Tinkertown
Cloud Gardens
Blightbound
Stick Fight: The Game
Railway Empire
Mad Experiments: Escape Room
ibb & obb Double Pack
The Falconeer
Truberbrook
At Eve's Wake
Interrogation: You will be deceived
Hoplegs
Cannibal Cuisine
Necronator: Dead Wrong
Awesomenauts All Nauts pack
1993 Space Machine
8-bit Adventure Anthology: Volume I
ChromaGun
Baby Dino Adventures
Click and Slay
Swords and Soldiers 2 Shawarmageddon
Cosmonautica
Crash Drive 2
Dimension Drive
The Way
Explosionade
Gelly Break Deluxe
Guppy
Journey For Elysium
Last Resort Island
Lumini
Marooners
Nelly Cootalot: Spoonbeaks Ahoy! HD
Pizza Connection 3
Pressure Overdrive
Renowned Explorers: International Society
Tales of the Tiny Planet
TaniNani
THE CORRIDOR
AWAKE - Definitive Edition
Treasure Temples
Shu
Combat Tested
Unexplored
Rayon Riddles - Rise of the Goblin King
Circles

Killer Bundle 25
From Space
Breathedge
Police Stories
DOOM 64
Arise: A Simple Story
Patron
Baldur's Gate: Enhanced Edition
Baldur's Gate II: Enhanced Edition
Turok
Turok 2: Seeds of Evil
THE GAME OF LIFE 2
CHANGE: A Homeless Survival Experience
DESOLATE
The Hong Kong Massacre
Death and Taxes
Lair of the Clockwork God
AMID EVIL
Just Die Already
I Am Fish
Golf Gang
Hypnospace Outlaw
Dark Deity
Warhammer 40,000: Mechanicus
DUSK
River City Girls

Other Games
Another World – 20th Anniversary Edition
Chess Ultra
Godstrike
Home Sweet Home
Neighbours back From Hell
Pathologic 2
SAMUDRA
STRANGER
Songbird Symphony
The Invisible Hours
I am Bread
Hotshot Racing
Autonauts
Door Kickers: Action Squad
Iconoclasts
Patch Quest
Tunche
For The King
Abandon Ship
Book of Demons
PC Building Simulator
Pile Up! Box by Box
Snooker 19
Speed Limit
Totally Reliable Delivery Service
Youtubers Life
Dex
WRC 6 FIA World Rally Championship
V-Rally 4
PlateUp!
Turbo Golf Racing
Eternal Threads
The Last Campfire
Kingdom Two Crowns
Indivisible
White Day: A Labyrinth Named School
Field of Glory II
Warhammer 40,000: Gladius - Relics of War
Ice Age Scrat's Nutty Adventure
Soul Axiom Rebooted
A Little Golf Journey
Murder by Numbers
Chivalry: Medieval Warfare
Songbringer
STONE
Rescue Party: Live!
Rise of the Slime
Steel Rats™
Hue
Teacup
Perfect
Arcade Paradise - Arcade Paradise EP
Strange Brigade
Sifu Deluxe Edition Upgrade Bundle (EPIC)
AVICII Invector: Encore Edition
10 Second Ninja X
The Indie Mixtape
Diaries of a Spaceport Janitor
Epistory - Typing Chronicles
Heroes of Hammerwatch
Monster Slayers - Complete Edition
My Big Sister
Red Ronin
Heal
Cat Lady - The Card Game
Undungeon
Tangledeep
Styx: Shards of Darkness
Styx: Master of Shadows
Squids Odyssey
Pendula Swing - The Complete Journey
Mists of Noyah
King's Bounty: Crossworlds
Jotun: Valhalla Edition
Hero of the Kingdom: The Lost Tales 2
Hero of the Kingdom: The Lost Tales 1
Epistory - Typing Chronicles
Warhammer 40,000: Space Wolf Special Edition
Undead Horde
S.W.I.N.E. HD Remaster
Stirring Abyss
Scarlet Tower
Blood And Zombies
One More Island
Doorways: Prelude / Doorways: Holy Mountains of Flesh
Slain: Back from Hell
Lucius/Lucius 2/Lucius 3/Lucius Demake
Aragami
Deliver Us The Moon
Anuchard
Call of Juarez: Gunslinger
Darkwood
Intravenous
Unexplored 2: The Wayfarer's Legacy
Interstellar Space: Genesis
Survive the Nights
Blasphemous
Unto The End
NUTS
Cat Quest
Cosmic Star Heroine
Degrees of Separation
Pure Farming 2018
SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell
SUPER CHICKEN JUMPER
Syberia/Syberia II/Syberia 3
The Innsmouth Case
Tinytopia
Sniper ghost warrior contracts
Trine 4
Risen 3
Shadowgate
How to Survive
FORCED
Psychonauts
Warhammer 40,000: Space Wolf Special Edition
Sniper Elite 3 + Season Pass DLC
Sniper Ghost Warrior 3 - Season Pass Edition
METAL GEAR SOLID V: GROUND ZEROES
Strange Brigade Deluxe Edition
Call of Duty® Modern Warfare 3™
Sniper Elite 3
Sniper Elite 4 Deluxe Edition
Amnesia: Rebirth
PGA 2k21
Jurassic World Evolution
Darksiders Genesis
Endless Space® 2 - Digital Deluxe Edition
SID MEIER'S CIVILIZATION VI : PLATINUM EDITION
F1 2020
Titan Quest
Euro Truck Simulator 2
Witch It
BEAUTIFUL DESOLATION
CHANGE: A Homeless Survival Experience
Mighty Switch Force! Collection
Gone Home + Original Soundtrack
The WB Batman Collection
Batman: Arkham Asylum Game of the Year Edition
Batman: Arkham City - Game of the Year Edition
Beholder
Beholder 2
We Were Here Together
Kyle is Famous: Complete Edition
GRIP: Combat Racing *-GRIP: Combat Racing - Cygon Garage Kit *-GRIP: Combat Racing - Nyvoss Garage Kit *GRIP: Combat Racing - Terra Garage Kit *GRIP: Combat Racing - Vintek Garage Kit
Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes
Lead and Gold: Gangs of the Wild West
Miscreated
Second Extinction
Survive or Die
Breathedge
Dead in Vinland
Die Young
Empyrion - Galactic Survival
How to Survive 2
The Wild Eight
One Finger Death Punch 2
Power Rangers: Battle for the Grid
Slap City
Fahrenheit: Indigo Prophecy Remastered
Layers of Fear: Masterpiece Edition
Civilization: Beyond Earth – The Collection
Borderlands: The Handsome Collection
Primal Carnage: Extinction
Due Process
SimpleRockets 2
Killing Floor 2
For the King
For The King: Lost Civilization Adventure Pack
Pro Cycling Manager 2020
Tour de France 2020
Infectonator 3: Apocalypse
Warhammer: Chaosbane
Project Highrise
LAST OASIS
The Beast Inside
Terminus: Zombie Survivors
Crown Trick
Discolored
Everhood
Grand Mountain Adventure: Wonderlands
Nomad Survival
Sparklite
The Ramp
Valfaris
Dusk Diver
Neverinth
Tokyo Xanadu eX+
Zengeon
Spirit Hunter: Death Mark
Unmemory
Nigate Tale
Rogue Heroes: Ruins of Tasos
Liberated
Neversong
Nine Parchments
The Walking Dead
Secret Government
Monsters' Den: Godfall
Interplanetary: Enhanced Edition
Learn Japanese To Survive! Hiragana Battle
Learn Japanese To Survive! Kanji Combat
Learn Japanese To Survive! Katakana War
The Eternal Castle [REMASTERED]
THIS WAR OF MINE: COMPLETE EDITION
Cats in Time
Afterparty
Battlecruisers
Astronarch
Save Room - Organization Puzzle
PlataGO! Super Platform Game Maker
Nongunz: Doppelganger Edition
Warhammer vermintide collector's edition
Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
Tank Mechanic Simulator
The Uncertain: Light At The End
INSOMNIA: The Ark
Darkside Detective
Shadow Tactics: Blades of the Shogun
GIGA WRECKER
Panty Party
Fell Seal: Arbiter's Mark
Tannenberg
Golf It!
Heroes of Hammerwatch
The Battle of Polytopia *DLC1. Cymanti Tribe *DLC2. ∑∫ỹriȱŋ Tribe *DLC3. Aquarion Tribe *DLC4. Polaris Tribe
Leisure Suit Larry - Wet Dreams Don't Dry
Lornsword Winter Chronicle
Oddworld: New 'n' Tasty
N++ (NPLUSPLUS)
Yooka-Laylee and the Impossible Lair
Virgo Versus The Zodiac
They Bleed Pixels
Maize
Smile For Me
The Haunted Island, a Frog Detective Game
Frog Detective 2: The Case of the Invisible Wizard
A Hole New World
Sumoman
Shape of the World
Evan's Remains
Ministry of Broadcast
She Sees Red - Interactive Movie
A Long Way Down
Depraved
Helheim Hassle
Neurodeck : Psychological Deckbuilder
Tropico 5 - Complete Collection
Escapists 2
Worms Rumble *Worms Rumble - New Challengers Pack *Worms Rumble - Legends Pack *Worms Rumble - Armageddon Weapon Skin Pack *Worms Rumble - Captain & Shark Double Pack
Achtung! Cthulhu Tactics
Turmoil
Narcos: Rise of the Cartels
Rogue Stormers
Torchlight
Fictorum
Ken Follett's The Pillars of the Earth
Moon Hunters
No Time to Relax
Overpass
Blood Bowl 2
SimCity 4 Deluxe Edition
Conarium
Brawlout
F1 RACE STARS Complete Edition Include DLC
Killing Room
Tenta Shooter / The 触シュー
Everreach: Project Eden
Railway Empire
Looterkings
Headsnatchers
Battlestar Galactica Deadlock
AIdol
Livelock
The Letter - Horror Visual Novel
F1 2018
Tacoma
Hard West - Collector's Edition
Hard West: Scars of Freedom DLC
Masquerada: Songs and Shadows
The Shrouded Isle
Joint Task Force
The World Next Door
Verdant Skies
DISTRAINT 2
Ittle Dew
Ittle Dew 2+
Oxenfree
Monstrum
Strikey Sisters
Do Not Feed the Monkeys
Cyber Ops
European Ship Simulator
Fishing Adventure
Internet Cafe Simulator
Zen Chess: Mate in One, Mate in 2 , Mate in 3 , Mate in 4 , Champion's Moves (5 games)
Transport INC
Shoppe Keep 2 - Business and Agriculture RPG Simulation
Desolate
GRIP: Combat Racing + DLC
OUTBUDDIES DX
Eidolon
Pizza Connection 3
Spartan Fist
River City Ransom: Underground
Saints Row: The Third
Koi-Koi Japan [Hanafuda playing cards] *Koi-Koi Japan : UKIYOE tours Vol.1 DLC *Koi-Koi Japan : UKIYOE tours Vol.2 DLC *Koi-Koi Japan : UKIYOE tours Vol.3 DLC
Mahjong Pretty Girls Battle
Mahjong Pretty Girls Battle : School Girls Edition
Pretty Girls Mahjong Solitaire
Princess Kaguya: Legend of the Moon Warrior
Delicious! Pretty Girls Mahjong Solitaire
Chaos Reborn
Driftland: The Magic Revival
Shadows: Awakening
Caveblazers
Fallback: Uprising
Mordheim: City of the Damned
WRC 7 FIA World Rally Championship
Mana Spark
Autonauts
Nusakana
Shift Happens
Crash Drive 3
Hot Tin Roof: The Cat That Wore A Fedora
Automachef
Demolish & Build 2017
Resort Boss: Golf
Out of Space
Narita Boy
Aven Colony
Alien Breed Trilogy
Tools up
Mount & Blade
Mount & Blade: With Fire & Sword
BLACKHOLE: Complete Edition
Detention
Downfall
Miasmata
Overclocked: A History of Violence
Silver Chains
White Night
The Cat Lady
Syberia 3
Textorcist
GARAGE bad trip
Guts and glory
Swag and Sorcery
Fort Triumph
Orwell: Ignorance is Strength
FRAMED Collection
ROTASTIC
As Far as the Eye
Cepheus Protocol
Overruled
Ageless
Giana Sisters 2D
Prank Call
Hotshot Racing
Undead Horde
Streets of Fury EX
Rec Center Tycoon
JumpJet Rex
Hyper Knights
Vectronom
Levelhead
I am not a Monster: First Contact
Papo & Yo
Crookz the big heist
Iron Fisticle
Sniper: Ghost Warrior 2
Fun with Ragdolls: The Game
Reventure
Smoke and Sacrifice
American Fugitive
The Signal From Tölva
Medieval Kingdom Wars
Rebel Galaxy
XIII - Classic
Comedy Night
Darkness Within 2: The Dark Lineage
FLATLAND Vol.2
The Chess Variants Club
Armada 2526 Gold Edition
Toybox Turbos
Sudden Strike Gold
Airport Madness: World Edition
King's Bounty: Warriors of the North
Planet Alcatraz
NecroVisioN: Lost Company
Star Wolves
Konung 2
Men of War
A.I.M.2 Clan Wars
Parkan 2
El Matador
Ascension to the Throne
Peaky Blinders: Mastermind
The Flame in the Flood
When Ski Lifts Go Wrong
Bomber Crew
10 Second Ninja X
The Sacred Tears TRUE
Fred3ric
Lovecraft's Untold Stories
Path to Mnemosyne
CastleStorm
Crush Your Enemies
Semblance
S.W.I.N.E. HD Remaster
Radio Commander
Boneless Zombie
Robot Squad Simulator 2017
Pretty Girls Panic!
Poker Pretty Girls Battle: Texas Hold'em
VVVVVV
Warhammer Space wolf
Blazing Chrome
Car Mechanic Simulator 2015
Pang Adventures
Party Hard 2
REKT! High Octane Stunts
Thief of Thieves: Season One
Trailblazers
Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide
Demetrios - Deluxe Edition
Cobra Kai: The Karate Kid Saga Continues
GemCraft - Frostborn Wrath
Nickelodeon Kart Racers 2: Grand Prix
Rebel Galaxy Outlaw
Shadowhand: RPG Card Game
Survivalist: Invisible Strain
We Were Here Too
Blacksad: Under the Skin
Heroes of Hammerwatch
Leisure Suit Larry 1-7
Murder by Numbers
Redout: Enhanced Edition
Rise of Industry + 2130 DLC
Ziggurat
They Bleed Pixels
Sunblaze
Noosphere
Train Valley 1+2
Door Kickers: Action Squad
Vikings - Wolves of Midgard
Vambrace: Cold Soul
The Void
The Vagrant
Republique
Nephise: Ascension
Leisure Suit Larry - Wet Dreams Don't Dry
Knock-knock
Jewel Match Atlantis Solitaire - Collector's Edition
Healer's Quest
Fictorum
A Robot Named Fight!
Skautfold Chapters 1-4
Hero of the Kingdom: Trilogy
198X
Danger Scavenger
Doctor Who: The Lonely Assassins
Dread X Collection
Going Under
My Lovely Daughter
Rage in Peace
Flashback
Garfield Kart
Curse: The Eye of Isis
Amerzone: The Explorer’s Legacy
Black Moon Chronicles
Nostradamus: The Last Prophecy
Red Riding Hood - Star Crossed Lovers
Chicago 1930 : The Prohibition
Sinking Island
Haegemonia: Legions of Iron
Occultus - Mediterranean Cabal
Gevaudan
Windscape
Ultra Space Battle Brawl
Through the Woods
This is the Zodiac Speaking
The Uncertain: Light At The End
The Uncertain - The Last Quiet Day
Tales
Tales of the Neon Sea
Styx: Master of Shadows
She and the Light Bearer
Epistory - Typing Chronicles
A Wolf in Autumn
The Music Machine
Jalopy
Insane 2
Clustertruck
Antigraviator
All-Star Fruit Racing
Constructor Plus
Ice Lakes
Knights of Pen & Paper 2
Victoria II
Kingdom Come: Deliverance – Band of Bastards
Kingdom Come: Deliverance – From the Ashes
Mindustry

Games
Cube Runner
Slash It Ultimate
Slash It 2
Slash It
Cybercube
Poly Island
Spin Rush
Upside Down
Neon Space
Hungry Flame
Charlie's Adventure
Neon Space 2
Duke of Alpha Centauri

VR Games
House Flipper VR
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I (23M) think that I'm still in love with my ex even though I've found someone who treats me like I begged her to...
I feel like I'm drowning. I'm currently sitting in bed with my girlfriend as I type this because I have no one to turn to on this, for context I'm 23M, I was in a relationship with someone about a year ago who I genuinely thought I was going to marry.
She was so smart and pretty and had a great sense of humor. I loved her for her. We only spent 7 months together, but she made me feel like I actually had a family or someone I can turn to. Around the 7-month mark, near the end of that month we broke up. I had just moved to her same state because we were long distance for a few months, and I decided to take the leap because I trusted her and thought she would be there to catch me.
She had messaged me this last year in February when we were dating after a few months. I think it was around 4.
"I wish you were here. I don’t even need you to be awake I just need you physically near me. I keep thinking about the joke [friend] made and I’m not mad at her because she didn’t know and that’s totally okay but I haven’t been able to recover like I usually do. For the first time I was actually tempted. I wasn’t going to do it but. That was the first time after a joke that I was tempted. The last time that it actually crossed my mind was when [her ex] broke up with me and I was convinced that there was no more life for me and I could never be loved again. I had built a life for us in my head because he basically forced me to and when that life was cut off I didn’t think there would be a way to live. I never thought there would be a way to recover. Lo and behold I did but that’s the last time it actually crossed my mind. And then today I kept wondering what it would feel like and thinking of how free I would feel if I just didn’t exist anymore. I don’t know why im sending this message honestly because I don’t want anything to happen because I sent the message ya know. I don’t want anything to change in the slightest but I just. Idk I guess communicate feelings? Just say something so im not holding it in anymore? Say that I love you so much and I can’t wait to be able to hug and cuddle and kiss and cry while you comfort me."
This message me fall more for her, it was the first time someone had been so honest and loving towards me. I come from a broken household where I was abused emotionally and didn't allow me to express my feelings safely. This caused me to be unable to process really well what I was feeling, and it really damaged my ability to communicate my emotions. We had both just gotten out of bad relationships and when we first started talking, one of the questions I asked her was "what are you looking for in a relationship?" And she wanted something long term and so was I. I made sure to say that communication was something I really love and wanted, something that really made me feel safe. I didn't get that in my childhood. I got it in the form of screaming and fights so I'm not really scared of confrontation or disagreements, but I can handle them calmly because of it now.
She's neurodivergent and has some ticks and ADHD and other things that would make her a difficult partner, but I comforted her best I could. After she sent me that message, I flew out (against my controlling parents' wishes) to see her and spent 3 weeks with her. She was in college at the time and was finishing her degree and I had just changed career paths from nursing to computer science because I loved coding more. The thought of creating something in code really makes me happy. We both had similar goals and ideas and saw a future together.
Once she finished her degree she moved back home and about a month later we talked seriously and she had mentioned how if the relationship was to move forward, we need to find a way to close the distance. I had enough money saved to move and my family situation had gotten really abusive the more independent and defiant I got towards the abuse.
I decided to take the leap of faith. I moved to a state near hers, about 30- or 40-minute drive because we had talked, and she wanted to move there since it was close-ish to home. During my stay with her the first time, she had a break down and opened up to me about how she might be using me to cope, those were her words. I comforted her and said I wasn't going anywhere but if she ever felt like she didn't love me anymore or that the relationship wasn't good for her, she could leave, I explained that it would be okay because then she wouldn't be with someone she didn't love and how that would not be fair for her or me in that scenario. A few months later, I was very vulnerable with her and told her how my greatest fear was someone not loving me anymore and leaving me for someone better, months had passed by this point, I think 2 and I opened up about my abuse and even how a teacher took advantage me sexually when I was in first grade and another time in college when a roommate placed their genitals on my face while I slept and took a video and photos (as a prank).
I had never told anyone that. She comforted me and I loved her for it. I had spent a month in the new state before she decided to break up with me. I was honestly having trouble adjusting, it was truly the first time I was alone and supposed to adult with no guidance, no one taught me anything or how people can take advantage of you. I found a job that paid 200 a week (it was 9 to 5) and had a job at GameStop that paid decently well but I didn't know how to manage money, and this was a big stressor for both of us. When I first moved there, she wasn't there to pick me up from the airport because she was busy having just moved in with her parents and there were 3 other occasions she would be "too tired" to drive up to see me, I didn't have a car or license because my parents weren't keen on teaching me or letting me try to drive so I never learned. Anyway, we started having more disagreements, small things like how she spent more time with her friends and we didn't get to see each other as often even though we were closer. I saw her maybe once a week or every two weeks. She stopped wanting to fall asleep on call because she felt weird and I explained that it was fine, I just liked it because it was nice seeing at least her name on screen when I woke up. It gave me comfort during a difficult time.
I remember when she was still studying and she had gotten really depressed and suicidal, I was worried and stayed with her on call until she fell asleep, I guess I gotten used to it. Fastforward and its been a month with me in this new state and I had used my money on her because she had driven so long to see me and I wanted to spoil her and show her how much I appreciated it. We got groceries and we had a talk in the car about what was happening and if I was lying about my money troubles. I explained that I wasn't lying but she then asked me if I had ever lied about anything and I said yes, small things like saying I'm okay when she asked because I knew she would be worried or some poems and things I sent her that quite frankly I passed off as my own. I wanted to impress her, and I couldn't communicate very well what I felt before but the poems and things I found online did and felt that it would be more special to her if it was something "I made". I see how dishonest it was now and how it was one of the many things I did that tipped over my relationship.
Eventually, on one of the few days I had off from work. I asked if we could meet and hang out, we hadn't done it in a week or two and I really wanted to. I asked to meet at a McDonald's that was nearby, and she tells me she doesn't love me anymore and my heart sank. She had already packed my things in a bag, they weren't a lot and after sitting in silence for a moment, we went to the car to get it. I hugged her and I still remember the details. It was 2 weeks before my birthday and she broke up with me at 1:30pm. I remember glancing at my phone and looking around, like I was in a bad dream.
I know I had done some stuff to push her away, I was too clingy and probably asked for too much. I remember asking her if she could send me a check in text once and while because I always checked in to see how she was doing around 12:00 midday and then later at 7 to remind her to take her meds because she had some problems remembering it.
Looking back, it was a lot to ask and shouldn't have. I simply wanted to feel like she cared, and she was getting more and more distant. She did it for two days and I never got them again. I also remember telling her about my past and my abuse and acting like it really didn't bother me because I didn't want her to think of me as a victim or feel bad. I feel so lost. After she broke up with me, I got into a really bad headspace and the landlord kicked me out so I was homeless and spent that way for months, struggling to cope with losing her and the things I had done wrong. I know I wasn't perfect but I tried, her birthday was 4 days after mine and I sent her happy birthday and she never responded but saw it. I found out that 3 days after we broke up she was telling everyone that she had moved on. She's been one of those people who don't stay single for long and I was scared, I was working on getting better and doing better. To work on my mental health, my trauma and communication, my toxic behaviors and clinginess but she found someone, and I was alone. I eventually got back on my feet, got an apartment and decided to jump back on the horse about 7 months later after that. I met this wonderful, amazing girl. She treats me like I begged her to and communicates with me like I wished her would because my ex would shut down and not talk to me about how she was feeling, I gave her the spaced she asked for but I'm sure I let my anxiety get the better of me and invaded that space which probably didn't help her.
But the girl I'm with is amazing. She is what I begged for, and I'm lost and drowning because my ex is still on my mind. When I started dating again, I thought I was over her but today I got curious and looked her up and she had posted. She has a Twitch and watching her smile and play games really brought back memories of how we used to be and how much I miss her and love her still.
I feel like shit because here is this amazing, wonderful person, we just moved in together and I feel like I could never love her like I did my ex. She doesn't know a lot about my past or my fears or my insecurities because I feel like those negative things about me were that tipped over my previous relationship, and I want to do better. I feel horrible because I feel like I don't truly love her, with my ex I felt it and knew it, but I don't see that kind of love or future with my current girlfriend.
I wish I was over her, I wish I didn't feel anything towards her so I could move on truly and build a life with this woman because she really makes me feel safe and loved and I try really hard to do the same and it seems like I have because she's told me everything and has opened up to me about things she hasn't told anyone and trust me entirely. I'm just... lost. I don't know what to feel but I feel so horrible, and she deserves better but now I'm again in a position where I've moved for someone, and they truly love me, but I feel scared to give myself fully again like that.
I feel scared to hurt her like my ex did. That pain she doesn't need to feel because I can't get my emotional shit together and move on from someone who didn't bother checking in or wishing me happy birthday or even bother to call me.
I don't know what to do. How does one move on, it's been a year. I feel like I should.

I’m relocating to SLO area to be near my oldest friend and to start a new chapter after 17 years in Austin, TX.
I’m fortunate in that I make well over $160k annually and my job is remote (CA-based tech company)
My primary concerns are:
-finding a place that allows pets (I have two dogs - Whippets)
-not exceeding $2800-$3k monthly (that’s my max budget)
-safe, crime-free area
-getting at least 700 s.f. (Which is what I currently have in Austin)
Is that doable? And what’s the best way to find such a place? I’ve almost exclusively used locators/realtors to find my rentals in the past. I’d welcome any suggestions!
EDIT: for typos/syntax

Takeshi Hongo, Kamen Rider Ichigo

"Rider… Henshin!"

♫ Let's Go!!! Rider Kick ♫ - ♫ Kamen Rider no Uta ♫
Takeshi Hongo was a genius biochemist and motorcycle racer working at Johnan University in Tokyo when he was kidnapped by the evil secret organization Shocker. Hongo was transformed into a cyborg intended to serve Shocker as a super soldier in their quest for world dominance. Rebelling against his would-be masters, Hongo takes the moniker of Kamen Rider and vows to fight for justice, a promise that takes him across the world and inspires generations of successors to follow in his footsteps.
Feats will be marked with the source.
Note for scaling: Shocker Combatmen are humans who have been enhanced by Shocker cybernetics, though not to the extent of the elite Shocker cyborgs like Kamen Rider or the various kaijin he fights. The Kamen Rider Official Zukan says that they have several times the physical ability of regular humans.

Untransformed

While superhuman thanks to Shocker's cybernetics, Hongo can't access his full power without transforming.

Strength

• Breaks a stone pillar^V33
• Seemingly breaks a headstone^E78
• Snaps out of chains
• Tears out of manacles^E53
• Accidentally rips off a sink knob^E1
• Breaks out of restraints^V34
• Swiftly takes down two Shocker Combatmen^E53

Durability/Resistance

Blunt

• Takes several hits from Ambassador Hell who can swing and throw a cyborg and damage the ground
• Takes hits from Canarycobra's Cobra Hand, which breaks an I-beam and reinforced concrete in half^E89
• Takes hits from Spiderond, who can burrow through the ground^E57
• Takes a long fall off of a cable car^E71
• Shrugs off getting hit by a car^E95

Other

• Immobilized but otherwise unaffected by a Gel Shocker trap that lowers his temperature to absolute zero^E97
• Hardly slowed down by nerve gas^E4
• Recovers from sleeping gas 10x faster than a normal human^E6
• Withstands soundwaves that damage his apartment and blow apart a Shocker Combatman^E64
• Has his blood sucked by Mosquilas, who can drain a normal man down to a skeleton, and is still in fighting shape^E72
• Unaffected by Roseranga's rose, which contains a potent poison that knocks out and mind controls its victims^E75
• Unharmed after being shocked with 100,000 volts by Jellywolf^E82

Speed/Agility

• Dodges Cicadaminga's soundwaves^E64
• Dodges Spider Man's dart^E1
• Ducks Gilliera's dart^E56
• Dodges finger-mounted darts from a group of Shocker Combatmen^E1
• Swats away a thrown knife^E4
• Swats away a thrown sword^E83
• Dodges a knife thrown by an unseen foe^E78
• Dodges a ring thrown by Worm Man^E59
• Dodges Fiddler Crabking's explosive foam^E73
• Dodges Ratcondor's attacks with damaged eyes^E90
• Dodges attacks from Namazuguiller^E61
• Dodges attacks from Guilgaras^E52
• Dodges Sea Dragon I's lashes^E76
• Dodges a whip strike from Ambassador Hell then jumps up to a balcony^E56
• Avoids Shocker Combatmen trying to hit him with motorcycles then jumps to the top of a hill^E53
• Jumps to the top of a hill^E93
• Jumps over Cockroach Man onto a car^E55
• Jumps from his motorcycle to the canopy of a truck he's chasing^E64

Skill/Misc

Combat

• Defeats a group of Gel Shocker Combatmen armed with swords^E83
  • Gel Shocker Combatmen are much stronger than Shocker Combatmen^E80
• Defeats Destron Combatmen armed with spears^V33
• Defeats Gel Shocker Combatmen^E95
• Defeats a group of Gel Shocker Combatmen on motorcycles^E83
• Even while he's sick and in his 60s he can throw down with human goons and Shocker Combatmen^KO
• Throws a sword into a Gel Shocker Combatman's heart^E83

Biochemistry/Science

• Performs surgery on Shiro Kazami to turn him into the cyborg Kamen Rider V3^V1
• Analyzes a mysterious powder and identifies it as scales from a foreign butterfly^E56
• Analyzes a thorn of Roseranga's rose and creates an antidote for the poison it contains^E75
• Creates a vaccine for a plague engineered by Gel Shocker^E90
• Analyzes coffee to determine what kind of poison was in it^V1

General

• Has 600 IQ and superb athleticism according to Shocker^E1
• Decodes a Shocker message^E54
• Correctly deduces that a man was killed with a lightning bolt after examining a piece of his clothes that was left behind^E82
• Sennin says that his spiritual presence complete dwarfs Kamen Rider Ghost's and he is able to instantly tell that Ghost is dead^KO
• Hears an electric current emanating from a man^E82
• Uses his lighter and some money to destroy a cache of poison capsules while stuck in a cell^E56
• Sneaks up on a Shocker Combatman, takes him out, then infiltrates the group while disguised as him^E6
• Sneaks up on a Gel Shocker Combatman ^E86
• Somehow escapes a room filled with poison gas^JT
• Escapes a Gel Shocker trap^E80
• Stops his breathing to play dead^E82
• Climbs Mount Fuji^JT
• Prepared landmines in a dune just in case Shocker planned to ambush him^E79

Original Form

Kamen Rider's original form from early in the series.
Stats Page (Kamen Rider Official Zukan)

Strength

Rider Kick

• Kills Spider Man with his first Rider Kick^E1
• Kicks a hillside, knocking down rocks^E13
• Breaks rock with a kick^E3
• Kills Sarracenian^E4
• Kills Mantis Man^E5
• Kills Bee Woman^E8
• Kills Cobra Man^E9
• [Lightning Rider Kick] Kicking with both feet, which he says should double the power, shatters a rock^E13
• [Lightning Rider Kick] Kicks the bomb Tokageron kicked back at him^E13
• Kills Rider World alongside Kamen Rider Blades' finisher^SZ

Throwing

• Throws Shocker Combatmen off of buildings^E2
• [Rider Throw] Kills Bat Man^E2
• [Rider Throw] Kills Cobra Man^E10
• [Rider Scissors] Kills Scorpion Man^E3

Other

• [Rider Chop] Kills Chameleon Man after hitting him with a Rider Kick^E7
• Tears out of iron chains^E1
• Runs straight through a wall in a Shocker base^E13
• Leaps through the ceiling of Shocker's laboratory^E1
• Leaps through the ceiling of a Shocker cell^E7

Durability

• Hit by a rock kicked at him by Tokageron^E13
• A revolver bullet bounces off his chest^E7
• Unharmed by a bomb set off next to him^E5
• Unharmed after stepping on a landmine^E9
• Tumbles down a hill untransformed and reappears at the top unscathed and transformed^E3
• A large amount of electricity is channeled through his body with no damage^E1
• Heals a wound on his hand quickly^E8

Speed/Agility

Dodging/Movement

• Dodges multiple shots from the Danger Light, a laser weapon^E12
• Ducks a thrown knife^E4
• Catches a boomerang thrown by a Shocker Combatman^E12
• Dodges a rock kicked at him by Tokageron^E13
• Dodges a snake arm strike from Cobra Man^E9
• Dodges Cobra Man's fire breath^E10
• Dodges attacks from Shocker Combatmen
• Runs towards a group of Shocker Combatmen, who then lose sight of him before he reappears behind them^E3

Agility

• Leaps a very far distance to engage Shocker minions^E1
• Leaps up to a platform to cut off Man Spider's escape^E1
• Leaps to the roof of an apartment building from the street^E2
• While training, leaps ~49 m^E3
• Leaps up and down a hill^E3
• Jumps up to grab a tree branch^E7
• Jumps up several stories of a building^E9

Skill/Misc

Combat

• Defeats the Revived Monster Corps, made up of 13 revived Shocker cyborgs he had previously killed, all at once^E13
• Defeats a group of Shocker Combatmen^E1
• Defeats a group of Shocker Combatmen all armed with bladed boomerangs^E12
• Beats Bee Woman in a swordfight^E8
• Defeats a group of Shocker Combatmen with a sword
• Leaps onto the shoulders of a Shocker Combatman then takes him down^E3

Accuracy

• Throws a sword to pin a man's arm to a tree^E7
• Throws a sword to cut off Bee Woman's wing^E8
• Throws a sword to hit a Shocker Combatman in the stomach^E8

Senses

• His hearing is many times better than a normal human's^E6
• He can hear sounds from 4 km in all directions, which he uses to track an enemy moving underground^E9
• Hears a conversation inside a hospital from outside^E6
• Tracks the sound a device is emitting back to its source^E8
• He can hear higher frequencies than humans^E8

General

• The transformation into Kamen Rider occurs so quickly that a bomb going off in front of him activates his belt before the explosion can hit him in his untransformed state^E5
• Accurately takes down Shocker Combatmen who are hiding beneath the sand^E3
• Figures out where Chameleon Man is standing while he's invisible in order to hit him^E7
• Dug up Hitler's secret treasure, emptied it into the ocean, then hid himself in the box and somehow buried it again in order to ambush Shocker^E7

Sakurajima

Kamen Rider's upgraded form that he used temporarily, named after the region of Japan it first appeared in. From this form on, Kamen Rider no longer required a wind source to transform and could do so at will.

Strength

Rider Double Kick

All performed with Kamen Rider Nigo

• Kills Snowman^E40
• Kills Ghostar^E41
• Kills Isoguinchack^E49
• Kills Unicornos^E51
• Kills Zanjioh^VS
• Kills Guilgaras^E52

Other

• Beats Arigabari to death^VS
• [Rider Hammer Kick] Kills Pranodon^VS
• Punches out Shocker Combatmen^E52

Durability

• Takes several hits from Kamen Rider Nigo during their fight, including his Rider Kick^E41
• Takes several hits from Ghostar, who's strong enough to lift and throw a large rock^E41
• Takes hits from Dokugander^VS

Speed/Agility

• Dodges blasts from Dokugander^VS
• Dodges attacks from Isoguinchack^E49
• Jumps to the top of a hill^E40
• Jumps into and out of a ravine^VS
• Performs the Rider Wheel with Kamen Rider Nigo^E49

Skill/Misc

• Defeats groups of Shocker Combatmen with a sword^E41
• Has a telepathic link with Kamen Rider Nigo, which Nigo uses to free him of Shocker's mind control^E41
• Disguises himself as a professor^VS

New Kamen Rider Ichigo

Kamen Rider's most used and most iconic form, an upgrade over his previous forms.
Stats Page (Kamen Rider Official Zukan)

Strength

Rider Kick

• Album of killing monsters and making them explode but not causing any significant collateral damage
• Rhinogang says that the Rider Kick is 10x stronger than his own imitation^E66
• Defeats Kamen Rider Kiva^HS
• Hits Kamen Rider Gaim, pushing him back and breaking the rock beneath him until his guard is broken^HS
• Kills the Nazca Dopant L3^FO
• Kills Spiderond, causing an explosion that destroys a nearby building^E57
• Breaks Bearded Dragon's tongue, which broke steel bars^E58
• Kills Worm Man, causing an explosion that destroys Shocker's underwater base^E59
  • Worm Man was given the characteristics of a creature that survived hydrogen bomb testing^E59 (personally, I believe this is in reference to an ability to withstand radiation rather than meaning it's durable enough to survive a nuclear explosion but I would be remiss not to include it)
• Kills Namazuguiller, causing an explosion that destroys a large mirror array and causes Shocker's underground base to cave in^E61
• Kills Gillercricket with a knee, causing an explosion that destroys a nearby building^E69
• Kills Armadig, who withstood Skyrider ramming him with his motorcycle, which can drive through metal doors^GO
• Kills Spiderbaban and Golden Jaguar at the same time^SO
• Destroys a group of Badan Combatroids^HS
• Breaks off Franken Bat's wing^FR
• Kicks Eaglemantis' blade back at him, cutting him in half^E86
• Kicks Catgecko, somehow curing him of the brainwashing/cyborg surgery Gel Shocker performed on him^E88
  • Does it to Cactusbat as well^E96
• [Rider Screw Kick] Breaks through a barred window^E69
• [Rider Lunar Kick] Kills Crowox who withstood a mine^E95
• [Rider Double Kick] Kills Rattlander, launching him back hard enough to carve two small trenches in the ground^DS
• [Rider Double Kick] Overpowers Shocker Greed's blasts, launching him hard enough to damage stone and killing him^LG
• With the other Seven Legendary Riders, knocks over a giant monster^K54
• Joins all Kamen Riders up to Decade in performing a barrage of Rider Kicks that destroy Dai-Shocker's castle^DS

Rider Punch

• Album of killing monsters and making them explode but not causing significant collateral damage
• Shatters a window that can withstand a bazooka blast^E65
• Punches Rattlander into a cave wall hard enough to make a crater^LG
• Punches through a concrete wall^E85
• Overpowers Moreyurtle's shell attack, which broke a tree^E85
• Breaks off Mantiskid's horn^JT

Misc Striking

• Destroys a box truck with Nigo^BT
• Punches the ground, blowing away the Shocker Combatmen surrounding him^BG
• Punches out Gel Shocker Combatmen, when one is still conscious after an explosion that destroys his motorcycle^E80
• Punches Moreyurtle's head, causing it to explode^E85
• Breaks Canarycobra's cobra arm^E89
• Breaks a machine^E54
  • 2^V1
• Breaks manacles^E58
• Breaks a bear trap Taki was caught in^E86
• Breaks chain^E66
• Breaks Crowox's horns^E95
• Chops off Cactusbat's fingers^E96
• Sends a Shocker Combatman flying with a kick^E56
• [Rider Crush] Stomps through the roof of a Shocker base^E60
• [Rider Chop] Breaks the remote control in Squidevil's head^E68
• [Rider Flying Chop] Kills Spiderlion^E87

Throwing

• Album of killing monsters and making them explode but not causing significant collateral damage
• [Rider Head Crusher] Throws Jaguarman over a hill, causing him to explode^E53
• [Rider Hammer] Throws Owl Man to the top of a hill^E60
• [Rider Drill Shoot] Throws Mantiskid, causing an explosion that destroys the Shocker graveyard^E66
• Throws Hedgehozuras up a hill^E62
• Throws Mosquilas a great distance onto a bridge from the river below^E72
• Throws off the Shocker monsters and Combatmen that dog pile him^E66

Other

• Pushes a bus uphill against Rhinobeetron pushing it^E65
• Kills Crabbat by jumping into him^E80
  • Crabbat no sold a collision with New Cyclone^E79
• Overpowers Canarycobra's Cobra Hand^E89
• Catches and pushes back Gaim's sword^HS
• With Kamen Rider Nigo, runs through a door that withstood their punches^E98
• [Rider Head Crusher] Slams Bearded Dragon's head to the ground and causes him to explode^E58
• Jumps off of a cliff with Centigerpede, slamming him to the ground and killing him^E91
• Says that he can easily break metal spikes as he rips two out of the floor^E87
• Swings a stake attached to a rope into a cliffside^E70
• Cuts off Moreyurtle's head with a sword^E85
• With Nigo, tears a metal door out of its frame^S38
• Contributes to the [X Rider Super Five Kick], which results in Franken Bat being kicked onto a pile of monsters that all blow up^FR

Durability

Blunt

• Takes hits from Neo-Shocker's Great Leader, whose strikes make earthquakes that affect Tokyo^K54
• Takes hits from Centigerpede, who overpowers the Rider Kick with a punch^E91
• Takes hits from Shocker Rider 1, who matches him in strength^E92
  • Takes hits from other Shocker Riders who are his physical equals^E94
• Takes hits from Rattlander, who downed Kamen Rider DiEnd with one strike^DS
• Takes hits from Rhinobeetron, who is strong enough to push a bus^E65
• Takes hits from Kamen Rider Sango, who punched a hole in a shipping container and a concrete wall^GP
• Takes hits from Sawsharkus, who can punch through a stone wall, while suffering the effects of a gas designed to destroy cyborgs^E67
• Takes hits from Mantiskid, who punches through a concrete floor^JT
• Takes hits from Bearded Dragon, who breaks through a wall^E66
• Gets thrown down a hill and kicked by Squidevil, who burst through the ground^E68
• Tanks punches from Sea Snake Man^E54
• Takes some blows from Spiderond^E57

Piercing

• Slashed by Kamen Rider Gaim^HS
• Gilliera's dart bounces off his chest^E56
• Uncut by Sea Dragon II's sword arm^E76

Energy

• Blasted by Shocker's Great Leader^LG
• Blasted by giant Ackdos Gill and Warz Gill^SH
• Blasted by Grand Zairus' eye beams that destroy fighter jets^R44
• Blasted by Shocker Greed, who destroyed a wood tower^LG
• Takes Owl Man's x-ray attack which reduces normal humans to skeletons^E60

Heat

• Designed to withstand temperatures of several thousand degrees^E60
• Hit by OOO's Latorahta combo heat blast^LG
• Unharmed by Urchidogma's flamethrower^E78

Explosives

• Withstands Turtle Bazooka blowing up Destron's base with him inside^V1
• Takes a bomb that blows up a bridge and is fine^S38
• Gets blasted by Kingdark^DS
• Tanks a barrage of bombs from Taiho Buffalo that kills all of the cyborgs he was fighting^DM
• Takes one of Hegehozuras' needles which completely destroys a man^E62
• Either escapes or withstands a Shocker building exploding^JT
• Either escapes or withstands Gel Shocker's underwater base exploding^E98

Other

• Takes a point blank nuclear explosion,^V2 then contacts V3 to tell him that he's fine and in Australia^V21 and shows up perfectly fine later^DM
• Hit by Grand Zairus in fireball form, which is over 1000º and destroyed an artificial island
• Fine after being hit by meteorites called down by Shocker, which blew up an observatory and burned a man to death^E68
• Gets shocked by Namazuguiller, who was enhanced from his base electrical charge of 100,000 volts^E61
• Shocked by Jellywolf^E82
• Withstands Badan's Space Break System, which obliterates people and buildings^BT
• Bearded Dragon's venom only makes his body numb where it melts normal people^E58
• Takes extended soundwaves from Gillercricket, which can blow up Combatmen^E69
• Withstands Newtgeth's tongue, which reduced a woman to ash^E77
• Jumps off of a cliff and reappears unharmed^E62
• Jumps off a cliff with Centigerpede, causing it to explode, then shows up fine later
• Falls from a great height inside an ambulance that explodes and emerges some time later stunned but otherwise unharmed^E95

Speed/Agility

Reaction/Dodging

• Dodges Owl Man's x-ray attack^E60
• Jumps out of the blast zone of an explosion as the bomb goes off in front of him^E84
• Dodges gunfire on Cyclone^GP
• Dodges Cicadaminga's soundwaves^E64
• Dodges Gillercricket's soundwaves^E69
• Dodges attacks from Kamen Rider Gaim^HS
• Dodges Moreyurtle's smog while chained to a cross, somehow freeing himself and jumping to the top of a nearby cliff without being seen^E85
• Dodges Turtle Bazooka's missiles^V1
• Dodges Crowox's finger missiles^E95
• Intercepts Shocker Greed's blasts before they can hit Den-O^LG
• Dodges Hedgehozuras' needles^E62
• Dodges Rinhogang's flamethrower^E63
• Dodges Sawsharkus' flamethrower and appears on a ledge above him^E67
• Dodges Anemonaguar's poison^E84
• Dodges Squidevil's attacks^E68
• Dodges Rattlander's attacks^E79
• Dodges an attack from Sea Snake Man^E54
• Dodges Jellywolf's attacks^E82
• Dodges Bearded Dragon's tongue attacks^E58
• Swats away Worm Man's rings^E59
• Catches a grenade thrown by a Shocker Combatman and throws it back^E59
• Dodges Rhinobeetron's foam spray^E65
• Dodges Louscule's acid spray^E74
• Dodges lasers and electricity in order to prepare for a fight^R42

Movement

• Jumps across a rooftop to kick a knife out of Cockroach Man's hand before he can cut a rope^E55
• Jumps to catch a poison capsule thrown by Gilliera before it can hit the water^E56
• Appears from out of nowhere to stop Bosgun mid-swing before he can kill RX^R44

Agility

• Jumps a far distance inland from the coast^E61
• Jumps to the top of a dam^E56
• Jumps to the top of a waterfall after being thrown off^E54
• Jumps onto a helicopter in mid flight
• Jumps around the giant Delzer Great Leader's mountain body^S39
• Jumps from the bottom of a ravine to a bridge^E58
• Jumps from a bridge to a boat in the river below^E72
• Jumps to the top of a hill^E61
• Jumps on top of a building^E69
• Jumps a fair distance to the top of a mansion^E75
• Jumps up a few stories
• Jumps up to a platform^E70
• Jumps off of a building then backflips back up a few stories as soon as he hits the ground^E76
• Flips out of the grasp of some Shocker Combatmen^E54
• Jumps onto Sea Snake Man's shoulders, then jumps both of them into the air, transitioning into suplexing him^E54
• Leaps into the air after Gilliera, transitioning into a rider kick to hit her^E56
• Jumps while being constrained by Anemonaguar's tentacles, kicking off of him to free himself^E84
• Jumps between motorcycles while fighting a group of Shocker Combatmen^E63
• Jumps out of the way while tangled up in rope from Gel Shocker Combatmen, causing them to crash into and kill each other^E84
• Jumps over a fence out of the way of a car^E55
• Jumps to grab a balloon that's floating away^E55
• Leaps to grab Taki after he's thrown^E90
• Leaps to grab a vial thrown by Shocker Rider 1^E92
• Leaps onto a car that's driving away from him
• Jumps onto a roller coaster^E98
• Catches a man that fell from the sky^E95

Skill/Misc

Combat Skill

• Defeats 6 revived monsters he previously killed, all at once^E66
• Defeats a group of Shocker Combatmen with a staff^E55
  • With a sword^E56
• Defeats a group of Gel Shocker Combatmen with a sword^E83
  • With a staff^E96
• Defeats a group of Gel Shocker Combatmen^E87
• Beats up some Dustards^FO
• Fights off a group of Shocker Combatmen on horseback^JT
• Defeats Ratcondor while not being able to see^E90
• With Kamen Rider Nigo, tricks the Shocker Riders into destroying each other^E94

Stealth

• Escapes a Shocker trap without being seen by the Shocker forces present^E62
• Either escapes or withstands a Shocker building exploding^JT
• Either escapes or withstands Gel Shocker's underwater base exploding^E98
• Sneaks behind Marshal Machine and frees Kamen Rider Stronger without being seen^S38
• Sneaks into Gel Shocker's school and switches out the drug they were going to feed some kids with flour without being caught^E91
• Sneaks up on Destron Combatmen^V1

General

• Claims that he is always growing stronger^E88
• Has 20x better vision that humans, allowing him to see the footprints left behind by Spiderond, which were invisible to humans^E57
• Throws a sword precisely to destroy a transmitter in Gillercricket's head^E69
• Throws a stake to stab into a monster that he threw into the air^E70
• Uses his scarf to grab onto a window and pull himself up to kick it^E69
• Hits Leechameleon after he turns invisible^E98
• Can make his eyes glow^E79
• Speaks telepathically with V3 alongside Nigo, giving V3 advice in a fight^V2
  • Calls V3 on a radio^BT
• Has a secret base in Arizona^R41
• His and Nigo's presence clears the other Kamen Riders of Shocker's brainwashing^GP
• Once he used something called Rider Power to break a ring he was not able to break with his regular strength^E59

Rider Combinations

Kamen Rider can join his power with other Showa Riders to do whatever the plot calls for perform techniques

• Performs some kind of move with Nigo to paralyze Turtle Bazooka^V2
• Joins power with the other Seven Legendary Riders to enter into the giant Delzer Great Leader's mountain body^S39
• Joins power with the other Seven Legendary Riders and Skyrider to carry a giant monster and a bomb into space^K54
• Performs Rider Synchro with the other Seven Legendary Riders, Skyrider, Super-1, and ZX to stun Ambassador Darkness and destroy Badan's Space Break System^BT
• Performs Rider Synchro with the Showa Riders to change a picture and let a ghost visit his parents before returning to the land of the dead^HS

"As long as evil exists in this world… Kamen Rider will be there to fight for justice!"

Yeah, so we crashed in the hills in Kamala, and I felt the stone road guard scrape against my leg and arm as we drove next to it and next thing I Remember I was on the floor. I opened my eyes as my friend is kickstarting the moped and people gather round, saying ring Ambulance. My friend said hop back on as I hoped up and got on the back bleeding out. We drove to the nearest pharmacy. They treated my wounds and wrapped me back up for 1400 baht.
My friend didn’t wanna drive anymore so even though I was injured I drove back home. After I passed out in my bed as we got back and got Rks passport and emergency cash he told us to get for him.
I woke up and looked up and everyone from the community we stayed at was at the hanging in the door looking in after hearing about my injuries. I could barely move as I took the pills the pharmacist gave me for pain and passed back out.
I woke up after something told me to get up I thought about Rk. I went on Snapchat and saw his character moving closer to the house. I called him he said the police is dropping him home to get his passport and they want to see me with my passport.
I got up immediately as I realised I gave my passport for deposit in Patong for the moped. I got changed not even considering my injuries and wrapped my leg and arm as I ran for the ped. I drove to Patong. It took me 2 hours to find the moped company. I found it eventually. I called home protested that the police have Rk and my friend from home gave the money to my sister who was gonna transfer it but was gonna have to be the next day.
I told Rk he said come they just wanna talk. I went there with my passport and they took it away and said I have to pay 100000 baht to the rental company and 40000 to the driver we crashed into. And Rk had to pay 40000 for court fees and we had 1 day to pay the 40000 to the guy we crashed into.
Rk got released and stupid us to go party with the Thai lady stacy the one we crashed with. We got fucked and went bayhill celebrating rks release. Nothing too wild. No crashes since we learned to get cabs in Thailand. ( funnily I write this from bayhill.)
We got home as reality hit us and this would be our last night out for a while. We went home ringing everyone we knew trying to get money for the company’s. We didn’t know how long this would take.
We went to the police station to pay the guy we crashed into and for anyone that don’t believe this is a true story I have evidence of everything.
I’ll fast forward time 1 week we payed off the rental company. After we was penniless we had learned our lesson the hard way and we aren’t rich we had 3k English spending me and Rk and my other friend had 1k we were far from well off.
Once we paid off the company we walked past a few times after seeing they had 2 new cars and the other one we crashed was in repair. We realised we had been fully extorted for everything we had as they smiled and waved. I had no money at all at this point and my leg was infected I was treating it day by day as I walked round with a crutch.
Now we were trying to get home but no one had enough but my other friend,(who crashed)his mum was booking him a ticket. We went to extend our visa. I didn’t have enough money so I couldn’t extend my visa, I barely paid off the company, I needed help from friends. They got there visas done and my other friend only got a 3 day extension due to being Russian. He had to leave and we wanted to give him a good send off as it set into mine and rks brain that’d we’d be stuck here.
The last day my friend was here we went partying again for the first time since the night after the crash which was about 2+ weeks ago.
(Forgot to mention Stacy snitch to police on me about the whole crash we learned in them 2 weeks and Rk had her at the house for 2 weeks near enough and she hated me and didn’t try help me even though I couldn’t walk. We came to the decision she needed to leave.)
We went out like we usually did and partied and went bayhill after I was on xannax and barely rember anything but next thing I’m in a bush and Rk and my friend were speaking to 2 girls who said come back to there hotel. They told me and bring me I went back in bayhill to get me a girl. They left me after this without telling me properly and I went back to see them gone. I had a English sim and no credit or data. I sat outside bayhill as everyone was coming out asking if my friend had been seen. A girl told me to get on the back of her ped randomly and I had no other choice lol. She took me back hers we hugged you could say lol. I woke up she took me for food and dropped me back to my friends and she demanded I gave her what she spent on me. I just was shocked thinking she done it out of good heart. I gave her 1000 baht.
I met Rk after he dropped my other friend at the airport. It set in we have to move place Tommorow and we didn’t know where we were going. We got wasted and got cab back to our place with a girl who was rks.
I woke up to the air bnb owner telling us to get out. I packed my stuff as fast as I could. We got all our stuff together and got cab to Patong. We found a small hotel off bangala road called Acca. This would be the start to our new beginnings and a downgrade you could say from our last place.
Acca was a weird hotel, my visa had run out so I had to make excuses to why I couldn’t show my passport everywhere. I forgot the first couple days at Acca but we were struggling for money bad and calling home near enough everyday. There were few days we would have enough money to enjoy ourselves. And the days we didn’t we had to tell the hotel we were waiting for money.
Acca so many memories there, we had made a few friends there so we knew most things by this point (Thais and tourists). The famous person we met the night we crashed had a YouTube channel. So people who watched his videos had seen us on there and were coming up to us asking questions. We planned on doing YouTube but nothing for us goes to plan.
I still couldn’t go out in the day because my leg couldn’t go near the sun. I was trapped inside all day and Rk would go out and meet up with the friends he met there. We got messages from friends in london I had when I was 15. They were coming to patong for a holiday and wanted to meet up.
They came and booked our hotel (different room) and we all stayed together our room slowly turned into a mess as we would get ready and go out everyday and get xannyed, drink beer and smoke weed.
We thought they were gonna be help but it made it worse they loved xannax and had money so A lot of problems would arise.
Fast forward time, Stacy was stalking Rk and I forgot to mention, Stacy was a pro Muay Thai fighter who was the champion of a popular Thai island and when she was mentioned to any local girls they would be scared knowing what she could do.

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This is my [link] to stub hub but because of fees it’s way higher. It’s 140 for me here. Currently the cheapest SBOX option out there. Couldn’t make it anymore as I’m going to Lavender Wild.
I’m willing to negotiate. Hmu

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London Concord (Ratification) Motion

The House Recognises that:
(1) His Majesty’s Government is presenting the ‘London Concord’ to the House.
(2) His Majesty’s 33rd Government has stated why it is of the belief that it should be ratified under Section 22A of the Constitutional Reform and Governance Act (CRAG).
Therefore the House resolves that:
(1) The Provisions of Section 22A of Constitutional Reform and Governance Act (CRAG) have subsequently been met.
(2) The ‘London Concord’ on the Coordinated Sudan Evacuation Response should be ratified.
This Motion was submitted by The Right Honourable Dame u/BlueEarlGrey DCMG DBE PC, Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs, on behalf of HM 33rd Government.
Opening statement:
In accordance with Section 22A of the Constitutional Reform and Governance Act 2010 (CRAG) I wish to inform the House that I believe the ‘London Concord’ on The Coordinated Sudan Evacuation Response which is being presented to the house in this form, should be ratified. Working with our allies to prioritise the security and safety of human life is of utmost importance to this Government which is why we believe that Section 22A is in order to ratify the agreeement via positive procedure and will subsequently act in accordance of its provisions.
The armed conflict in Sudan has escalated to dangerous levels breaking out just over a month ago. Whilst ongoing evacuation attempts occurred by various states, it still has not been enough to effectively and safely get as many nationals to safety.
The current situation in Sudan is uneasy and very volatile, whilst ceasefires have been established, they are not securely indefinite or at all guarantors of the safety of our nationals and our allies nationals to remain in Sudan. These are very much exceptional circumstances where quick action is needed with the lives of our nationals and our allies in danger, therefore this Government believes we must move to ratify this agreement.
The London Concord, agreed by the representatives of Germany, France, Italy, The Netherlands, Canada, the United States, Turkey and ourselves brings together an important collection of states operating in attempting to evacuate nationals. The terms of this agreement provides a mutual recognition of nationals with our key partners involved, and a memorandum of understanding to foster military and intelligence cooperation where necessary to support and defend our evacuation efforts.
Sudan Evacuation Operations Brief Outline
Furthermore in cooperation with international partners as per the London Concord, the United Kingdom has also begun another operation to evacuate its nationals and secure the area. Taking advantage of the current ceasefire, our armed forces have been instructed to utilise the Royal Air Force to secure Port Sudan International Airport and to assist current ongoing operations. At Port Sudan, HMS LANCASTER will be deployed with the RFA CARDIGAN BAY in Bahrain to have an accelerated maintenance cycle to allow her to provide greater maritime security at Port Sudan, accompanied by the T-Class Corvette, TERRAPIN. Immediately HMS DIAMOND will immediately be deployed to Port Sudan to assist with air defence and security to be stationed for a duration deemed necessary.
British nationals currently in Sudan are instructed to make their way to Port Sudan, and if not any alternative safe route. As a result of the London Concord, nationals are also instructed if possible to make their way to safe points under operations by allied nations for evacuation.

Lately I’ve noticed that my oldest NK (6) will accuse his younger sibling of doing things that they aren’t doing. For example, the other day we were sitting on the couch reading a book. I had each child on either side of me and the eldest started to cry. I’ve been doing this for 10 years so it isn’t nanny’s first rodeo, I know a fake cry from a real cry. So I asked what was wrong and they wailed that they’re little sibling had punched them… the sibling that was sitting on the other side of me literally just listening to the story. So I explained to him that I she hadn’t punched him because I was right here and saw nothing, I even tried to add a little humor and said “unless she’s Dash from the incredibles, I don’t think she punched you” this made him cry harder and he was screaming at me that she had. I wasn’t going to go back and forth with him with the no she didn’t, yes she did. I tried asking if something else was bothering him that he wanted to talk about, but he was insistent that she punched him and which caused MB to come out of her office and she went forward and put his sister in time out which made him stop crying. At the airport yesterday while traveling he had done it twice. They were sitting in the stroller and he was fidgeting around and refused to her strapped in, I was walking on the side and MB was pushing the stroller, little NK was in the front ends of the stroller just playing with her toys when he slipped out (something I warned him would happen if he didn’t buckle in and stop moving around like a squirmy worm) he started to cry from embarrassment so I said “it’s okay buddy, next time let’s buckle up do that we don’t keep falling. Do you want to hold my hand and walk so we can get our wiggles out?” And he snapped at me and again insisted that his sister pushed him out. I thought for sure MB would have seen that it clearly didn’t happen, but she was on her phone while walking so didn’t see. Again she dealt with the little one and when she didn’t do anything. I just have him a “I know what your doing and it’s not okay look” but he just smirked back. This happens at least twice a day. I’m an eldest sibling as well so I understand that it’s just a phase they go through, but I don’t know how to explain to MB that she isn’t doing these things and that he’s just trying to get a reaction out of her. I feel if I say it like that it sounds like I’m not taking his feelings into account and then I sound like an asshole. If I deal with it the way I do ( if I didn’t see it actually happen then I say “ I’m sorry that happened, how about we give sibling space or maybe we should play a different game” and redirect. I do this every time he tries to blame his sibling for something she didn’t do) MB thinks that I’m not handling the situation. Like I’m not yelling at her or putting her in time out when I SAW she did nothing. Obviously when I see it happen and she actually does do something, I handle it the way she tells me to.

PTW: Not sure but just in case I put the possible trigger on here. I don’t have much posting experience on Reddit so I hope I’m not committing a bunch of no-nos. Anyways, had a moment AFTER successfully flying. I’m putting a warning on it because I don’t want anyone to add new worries to their fear of flying. If reading about a very emotional moment AFTER flying could affect you, please don’t read!
Short time lurker here!
I stumbled in here just browsing Reddit for some sort of advice or support for fear of flying. I had a flight coming up, several actually, in a week and I’m a 35 year old woman who had never flown and panicked if I even had a discussion about flying. I was to fly from Orlando to Miami, then Miami to LA. So, the pre-flight anxiety was starting and I needed to manage quickly.
I decided to use medication and a flight “care box” as my therapist calls it. It consists of various items and coping mechanisms for managing my anxiety. I had my headphones, music calms me. I downloaded some episodes of my favorite show. I chose a tv show because each episode was 43 minutes long, which helped me manage time during any anxiety over how long I was on the plane. A few game apps, the DARE app, several books, and a sleep mask in case I started to panic I could remove all distractions to re-center myself.
Well, guess what! I managed my anxiety all week just fine. The night before my flight, I was fine. I managed to fall asleep and wake up on time. The way to the airport, I was fine. I made it all the way to the gate, where I finally had a moment to analyze where I was at before the flight, and realized I felt fine. So, instead of taking a full dose of my medication I took half 30 minutes before boarding and decided to take the other half when I got on the plane. I also took half before boarding the second flight.
My experience was…to be honest I think I’m a little shocked. I got on both flights, no problem. I had small moments of anxiety on the flight but nothing extreme. Takeoff didn’t bother me, I actually started laughing the first flight during takeoff. There was a moment where I think the plane was leveling out and it felt like we dipped for a second but it was over so fast that it didn’t freak me out too much. Turbulence didn’t freak me out, and landing wasn’t that rough or anything. The small moments of anxiety mostly came from me nodding off for short periods of time, like seconds or minutes, and having these like little mini dreams or something and then jerking awake in a panic. So, I pulled out all my distractions and stayed awake to put a stop to that nonsense. About 2hrs into the second flight I could tell my anxiety medication had worn off, but I felt fine so I didn’t take any more. After that, I had a few moments of anxiety over how long the flight was. This is where I stopped looking at the time completely, and started watching my tv episodes while doing a jigsaw puzzle on my phone. It might be weird but I just told myself “You have 4 hours left, that’s about 5 episodes, enjoy them.” I also enjoyed conversation on and off with the lady next to me. I even felt comfortable opening the little window cover and taking pics and videos. Landing was fine and overall I felt fine with how both flights went and my experience.
It was after the flights, after getting to my hotel, after fully relaxing that I had some issues. I’m wondering if anyone else has ever had a major moment of “WTF” after conquering their fear of flying?? Part of me felt like I didn’t know who this woman was, like what did I just do? The other part was the fear and anxiety I thought I’d feel on the plane catching up to me, I think. It hit me in my hotel room, hard, that I actually just got on two planes and flew 6+ hours by myself like it was nothing. Who the hell is this woman? Suddenly, after flying for the first time and having no issues, I was panicking. I was thinking of canceling my flight home and just driving. I started shaking and then broke down into full blown tears. I had to talk myself down like “you JUST flew, no problem, and even enjoyed it a little. WTF is happening??” It was the most exhausting, emotional moment I’ve had in a long time. I feel like it’s a combination of a lot of things but also like the after affects of being in fight or flight mode, maybe? It totally killed the joy of having just conquered my fear of flying. Has anyone else ever experienced this?

TL;DR at the bottom.
As a background, I am the eldest of three children. I'm at my mid 30s, and younger bro is 29 today.
When he was 22 and until recently, he didn't have much luck, despite help, landing employment anywhere. I tried my best to land him a job in my office and our dad's, still no result. I told him his luck might not be here in the Philippines; it might be elsewhere. True enough, my aunt's S.O. assisted my brother through a maritime agency and not long after a few weeks of training, he got the position of Chief Cook as a seafarer, bound to be dispatched on September.
Before then, he talked with me, and the youngest of us, a whole bunch about his plans-house, car, house help, etc., for the duration of his contract, all for the benefit of our mother. It would seem that he found himself already, and I was glad. He requested us to watch over her, as she lived for 29 years with my brother mightily by her side. Since he was the one who's unemployed at the time among the three of us siblings, we expected him to be there when mom got hospitalized (twice), cooked for her (and the family), technically assisting her in all forms and ways. If you're asking where I was during those times, I am married with a kid, living separately, and a working student. I am thinking of a different way to make my mom proud, so to speak. And that's a story for another topic. But my brother, he's always beside our mother. He lived 29 years of his life with her. You catch the drift.
As I was saying, he was due to be dispatched on September, then moved on the 8th of June, then again on the 3rd (which was his birthday). Some two days before, he got a call telling him he's to be dispatched the very next day. That was the 31st of May. My mom and I accompanied him to the airport.
Mom is ecstatic and at the same time, really worried sick and über sad with my brother leaving. His contract is for 10 months, general cargo, Southeast Asia.
During and after his flight, and until he got on the ship, he was in constant communication with us. Last he said is that the ship is already bound to sail to Taipei for three and a half days, no signal in the high seas, and roaming data is limited. So since the night before yesterday, there was no message.
So during those times (after we took brother to the airport, until today), mom is crying non-stop about my brother's lack of presence. I also took a hit, since I relied on my brother too much. But my mother, para syang namatayan sa iyak ba. She was worried na baka lumubog ang barko, stuff like that.
I told my mom that this is for my brother's good, that he'll be okay (as with all seafarers I encounter in my job), and that everything is for her. This is the first time she's without bro and for long. Alam naman daw nya, hayaan lang daw namin sya umiyak. My son is also crying way too much since my brother left for the seas. But I also wanna cry na din, I miss my brother, too. Napilay din naman ako. But I want to be strong for my mom and my son.
Ayun lang. Di ko na kase alam gagawin ko kay mama. Ang hirap ng wala si utol, pero masaya ako para sa kanya.
Saludo ako sa lakas ng loob ng mga OFW, whether you're sea-based or land-based. Ang lalakas ng loob nyo. Kayo talaga ang mga bagong bayani.
TL;DR: Bro got employment as a seafarer after being unemployed for 29 years of his life and was dispatched unexpectedly immediately. Mom is now crying like she just actually lost a kid. Not that I'm complaining, but it makes me wanna cry and show weakness na din even after my brother told me and bunso to look after her for the duration of his contract*.*

Thanks again to u/TheManwithaNoPlan in all their help in co-writing this story! They are a fountain of inspiration!
[First-[Prev]-[Next]
Memory transcript: Sharnet, Venlil Journalist. Date: [Standardized human time] September 19th, 2136
I had been correct. When Tagleb had described Unzekep’s behavior, I had thought she couldn’t possibly be one of the Overseers. Too descriptive. Too many features that stood out to be remembered. But I had to see. I needed to see what she was like.
I didn’t want to treat her like a monster. Like everyone else.
Unzekep was curled up in a ball on the ground, her sobs echoing off the enclosing walls. They clashed with the constant hum of the pumps, each dampening the other slightly. Her colors kept shifting between the gray of the walls and her natural green, as if she was barely trying to hide.
She just continued to sob. “I don’t want to go. P-please… I don’t… please…”
My legs started walking. On their own. Closer. I’m kneeling next to her. She’s hurting. I…
I gently placed my paw on her back. She shrinks back at the touch, but I keep my paw in place as she cries. “It’s okay,” I say, trying to be heard over the pumps, “we mean you no harm. We wish to h…” The facility said they helped. “We wish to keep you away from the monsters of the facility.”
Her chest shuttered as one eye peered out at me. “Y-you… you hate me. Fear me. Everyone… everyone does…”
“I am not everyone,” I reply. “Come, please, let’s get out of this room so we can hear each other. We only wish to talk.”
Unzekep began rising to her feet, but it still felt off. Her movements brought to mind the Venlil I had seen in the Arxur fear videos. The movement of someone who believed that they were being sent to their death and had given up all hope of its avoidance. Vekna stood by as I led her out of the room, unsure of how to act in the face of this situation.
The scaffolding outside the room groaned from the stresses put upon it by those far above as we walked out. The distant sounds of reactors whirring and people talking replaced the constant hum of the turbines as the backdrop to our situation. I saw Vekna take a small sigh of relief as she closed the door behind us. I saw how she had started to tense up the longer we were in there, this was more for her than Unzekep. Speaking of, the Harchen was still curled up in a defensive stance. “So…why do you bring me out? Are you…going to throw things at me?” She looked down, staring at a small discarded wrench set against the wall. “Please… don’t do hard.”
“We are not going to do that.” She was so scared of us. Like she was standing before an Arxur. “You were in Dawn Creek. The correctional facility there.”
Her colors shifted in fear again. “They-they tossed out! I didn’t- it wasn’t an escape! I’m not- not bad. I’m good! I promise! I-I…” I could see her eyes start to wet again. “Please…I’m sorry…”
Vekna, who had been behind me, knelt forward, keeping her paws to herself. “We know, we know. We’re not going to send you back there, or anywhere else. It’s okay, we’re friends.” I could hear something in her voice I couldn’t quite discern. Sadness? Anger? Both?
Unzekep looked up at her, at us, and she finally started to uncurl. “You’re…friends? Why?” The very fact she asked that at all sent a pang of sympathy through my heart. Is she really so isolated out here that she has to ask why someone wants to be friends with her?
I shook my head to focus. “Because the people who ran that place were evil. They tortured people, and we want to make sure that they don’t do such things to anyone else.”
Unzekep looked at me in confusion, her complexion only slightly changing to a bluish tint. “People don’t call it torture. It’s treatments. Bad treatments. They didn’t help change color. That’s how you spot me, right? The dots.” She ran a hand over her temple, right where the splotches were.
I nodded. “Yes, we did. You did a good job hiding otherwise, though.”
“Thanks. I learned how to ca…cam…hide very well. Sometimes I could make the guards miss me, but then I got in trouble for my next treatment.” I saw her shudder at the memories of that. Why did we ever think this was a good idea? “They had me take stuff. Said… it would make me hide better. Didn’t. It- it made me worse.”
So she was drugged. I guess my theory about the Harchen drug was somewhat correct. “Yes. The people there lied. They lied a lot…” I leaned forward, trying to keep my voice comforting, “do you remember a giant Venlil?”
Her tail flicked in worry as Vekna looked over to me in confusion. “They said.. it was dangerous. That it was going to destroy everything. But… they said they were throwing us out because of it.”
“They were lying again,” I told her, “they were throwing you out to hide themselves. The overseers feared we would find out that they were torturing people, so they ran.” I gestured to me and Vekna. “We are looking for them. We want to make sure they never hurt anyone again. Please, can you help us?”
A new flash of fear flows across her body as she shrinks back. “I- I can’t! They- they’ll know. They will hurt me. Find me and hurt me.” She shivers to herself despite the warmer air down here. Is this the kind of pain Tarlim was hiding all along? By the stars…
Vekna stepped in, her voice similarly soothing. “Why do you think that? You’re a long ways away from Dawn Creek. Do you think that someone from there is here?” She looked between us for a moment before she took on a yellow underhue in confirmation. I had to stop myself from celebrating then and there. After three misses, I was starting to think that this was nothing more than another ruse. At least we’re not doing this for nothing! I leaned in a little closer, causing the Harchen to focus on me. “Do you know who they are? What they look like? Where they might be?” Unzekep whined at my inquiries and covered her ear holes. “Please, not so loud. You’re hurting my ears.” I immediately retracted, doing my best to lower my volume. I flicked my ears in the affirmative, but she didn’t stop. Confused, I flicked them again, but she just continued to look at me as if I was going to restart my questions as soon as she took her hands away. Vekna stepped in and spoke. “She won’t be as loud anymore.” At that, Unzekep finally took her hands away. Difficulty with nonverbal cues. Of course they’d lock her up for that. “Okay. I…saw their back. I don’t know where they are. I know that they did something bad in the caves. They left when I came. Someone else was there, a Venlil. Shocked. It looked like what they did to me, but worse. More sloppy.”
That piqued my interest. Perhaps that’s the reason she spends most of her time down here? I had to ask. “Is that why you stay down here in the bowels of the reactors? In the tunnels under the city?”
She tapped her fingers together. “They… are safe. No eyes. No people who…less people who hurt me. I can hide. I have a house on the top, but… they are top, too. I can hide better down here.”
She looked to be getting scared again at the memory, so I took a soothing tone again. “Thank you. Please, can you tell me where you saw them? What caves?”
She fidgeted with her tail, which had curled around to her front. “Up in the mountains. Old iron mines that ran out a long time ago. Nobody but me ever went up there…and them now.” She clenched her tail. “I don’t go up there anymore.”
Iron mines. We had a location. A place that our target likely frequented. “Thank you. You have helped us so much by telling us that.” I bowed to her, “I promise, we will take them away from this place. You won’t have to hide anymore.”
She didn’t seem to calm down much at that, though. Instead, she looked…sad. “I do have to, I always have to….” She sighed. “People see me. Hate me. They… they will try to send me to another… they will hurt me again. Zap me… here.” She pointed to the spots on her head. The ones that never change their color.
I wanted to say she was wrong. I wanted to reassure her that things would be fine once the heads were captured. But so many would fear her. So many would… wait… “How did you get here?”
Unzekep looked at me in confusion, her color shifting bluish.
“When you were tossed out,” I explain, “you moved here. You had a house. You must have had people who helped you. Who don’t fear you.”
“My… my mom.” Her tail curled around her legs as she sat on the ground. “She found me. She’s in the gov…gover…she has power, covered for me all she could. She…she put me in at first, but when these showed up,” she pointed to her dead spots, “she tried to get me out. Didn’t work, but then they threw us out. It was…a long, long walk.”
Vekna gasped at that. “Wait, you mean to say you walked here? All the way from Dawn Creek? Why didn’t you take a…oh. No money, right?”
Unzekep shifted her underhue in confirmation. “No, no money. When I got here, I was so tired. But…now I have a job. And people usually don’t bother me. Not unless its-”
“Oy!” A voice echoed in the tunnels, “what are you lazy brahkasses doing?”
I looked over my shoulder at the source of the noise. A lanky off-white Venlil woman, most certainly past her prime, walked out of the cargo elevator and approached us. Upon seeing her, Unzekep tried her best to camouflage against the surface, but it wasn’t working all too well. “And quit with the color changing, you speh-licking lizard! I can still see your spots a [mile] away! What are you doing off the job, your shift isn’t over yet!”
I heard Unzekep whimper and shrink away towards the door. “Please, I’m sorry, they came! I was just-”
“You were just not working! Herd, you must love giving me excuses, huh?” To my horror, she picked up the unattended wrench in her paw and held it menacingly. Wait…Unzekep thought that…no. No no no, please let me be wrong.
Vekna stood to try and stop her, most likely coming to the same conclusion I had. “Ma’am, please, we only wanted-”
“Wanted to be rid of this useless Freak!” The woman interrupted, waving the wrench like a pointer, “about time someone got sent to deal with her!”
I flick my ears up in surprise. “Deal with her?” No, please no.
Unzekep was desperately trying to get back into the room but the door was jammed shut. She pulled on the handle as the other worker drew nearer. “Yeah. Chief engineers deal with problems, but this one’s my favorite!” Then, before either of us could react, she pulled her arm back and chucked the heavy metal wrench at Unzekep. It hit her squarely between her shoulders, and she flashed a myriad of different colors in an instant as she cried out in agony.
Wrong! No!
What followed was unrestrained chaos. I was next to the Harchen, seeing if her injury was severe. Before the same second was up, Vekna stepped up to the “chief engineer” and punched her squarely in the jaw. The poor imitation of a Venlil staggered to the side, stopping herself on the balcony as orange blood dripped from her, no, its mouth. “Wha-”
Vekna didn’t hesitate, grabbing it by the collar of its uniform and landing another square hit against its jaw, baring her teeth at the enemy. “What the sprak is wrong with you? Throwing a wrench at her like that? What did she ever do to you!?”
I barely heard her words. The world was orange. It wasn’t nearly orange enough. I got up, and moved over to where Vekna was holding it. I placed a paw on her shoulder as I glared at it. She looked back at me, and soon let it go, leaving it to me. I wasted no time, slamming an open paw against its snout and knocking it over the ledge of the catwalk. I heard gasps behind me, I didn’t care. I grabbed it by its scruff over the chasm. I heard it try to cry out like a Venlil. Not convincing.
I shook. Shook hard. I heard a clunk. Less resistance. The railing had decoupled. The thing was now hanging over the steep drop with nothing to hold it back from falling. Nothing but my grip on its scruff. It was screaming. Pleading. Sobbing. Orange. Now it’s real.
I shook its scruff, feeling one of its feet slip and scramble to find purchase again on the scaffold floor. “Do you feel powerful?” I am shouting. “Do you feel Safe?? Beating people with tools? Forcing them to work alone?! Look down there! Look!!” I used my other hand to grab its head and force it to turn one eye to the drain pit and the small layer of water far beneath. “If someone were to fall down there, how long would it take for them to be rescued? Huh? How Long?? HOW SPEHKING LONG?!”
It was crying. It wasn’t enough. “ANSWER ME!!!”
My vocal chords hurt. I didn’t care. So much orange. All around me orange. I felt something on my shoulder. A voice spoke from behind me. “Sharnet! That’s enou-”
My paw moved before I could think, releasing from its head and smacking the source of the voice away. Now I could focus, I could make it feel what Unzekep felt, what Tarlim felt, what Vekna…
A whine.
I looked back. Vekna was on the ground, an eye shut and orange on the ground.
Wrong orange. Her orange. Oh… oh Stars…
I was hanging a woman over the edge of a meltwater drain pit. She was bleeding. She was crying and shaking. My paw was all that stood between her and death. I quickly pulled her back to safety, tossing her to the ground as I rushed over to Vekna. “Vekna! Are you-” She shrunk away from me, a terrified look in her one open eye. No, no no no no. Please, no! I lowered my paws to the ground to show that I wasn’t a threat. She calmed down a little, rubbing at the side of her snout. “Sharnet, what was that? What happened?”
I had been about to kill somebody. That’s what happened. I had promised to be better, but I just took everything out in someone again. I… I… “I’m sorry…”
“You…” it was the woman again, “you were- you were going to…”
I had been. I wanted to. Stars, I STILL wanted to! How long had Unzekep been tormented by her? How many wrenches had been thrown?? What injuries did she have that this creature caused?? I- I- I Can’t!!! I can’t let them get away with it! I can’t let them take this out on Unzekep! I am a monster, but I will NOT let another monster hurt someone innocent! Not…Not like they did to Tarlim!!
“Do you even know who we are?” I am panting from the adrenaline, “Why we’re here?”
The woman just stuttered, crawling backwards as I stomped towards her. “I- I don’t - I-”
“We were sent here to look at the safety of this place,” I interrupted, “And you know what we found? A worker all alone on a job that requires more! Insufficient lighting!” I pointed to the broken scaffolding that I had hung her off, “railing that falls apart when leaned on! Deep pits with their emergency ladders missing! And You!” I pointed a claw right at her snout. A threat to the herd being signaled. “A-A puddle of Speh who beats their coworkers with metal wrenches!!” I leaned over her cowering form, teeth bared, claws braced. “Unless you leave the Harchen alone, and grovel before the safety board, I will make you WISH. I. Had. Let. Go.”
“Yes! Yes!” She sobbed, “By Solgalick, I promise! Don’t hurt me!”
I am a monster. So I play the part. “Then Leave!!”
I watch the white form scramble down the path out of sight, the scaffolding rattling as she runs practically on all fours. I don’t regret seeing her disappear. I turned back to Unzekep. She looked at me fearfully. As she should. “They shouldn’t bother you again,” I panted, “we will… find the overseer. You… you will be able to go up top soon. I promise.”
She looked up at me, her tail curled beneath her legs in fear. “Th… thank you. N-nobody ever p-protected me before.”
She is thankful. How can she be thankful? I am a monster. The only thing that made me different was I was attacking another monster. How can she do more than just fear me? “Is… is where she hit you… okay?”
“It… it hurts,” she whined, “but… less than last time.”
So she would be okay. I wanted to stay and help her. Get her somewhere to treat the bruises but… but I would just hurt her. I was still so angry, so upset. I would just take it out on her. I-I have to leave. They aren’t safe around me. Go!
I stood, eyeing the still open cargo elevator. “Good. I’m sorry, I must leave.” I began walking towards the elevator, my legs wobbling as the adrenaline began to fade. My paw found the buttons on their own, and I pressed the one to take us to the top. Faster. Please. I need to get away from them. I don’t want to hurt them. I-
“Sharnet!”
I jolted. My fur flared out. It was Vekna. She was in here with me. She was panting. One of her eyes was partially closed. My doing. “Hey, wait up! I need to get back up to the surface, too!”
I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want to say anything. I don’t deserve to speak. I pressed myself into the wall, slumping against it as we ascended. Vekna panted, occasionally putting a paw over her eye and wincing. My doing. She looked at me and tried to put on a smile. “Well, that was a close shear, huh? I-I mean, when I…and then you…and then we…hah, I’m tired.”
I moved so I stood in the corner opposite of her. “You could sit as this takes us to the surface.” My voice felt monotone. I couldn’t gain the energy to emote. “It… a wrench… threw a wrench…”
I saw Vekna’s expression darken. “Yeah, she…she did. I don’t get why. It just seems so… unnecessary. So… cruel.”
“It is,” I stated. “They have to do it. They have to hurt others.”
I saw a veil of sadness fall over her body. “But why? Why do people… have to?”
The cargo elevator came to a stop. The door opened to the bare concrete floor of a power plant. I sighed as I exited. “Because we are monsters.”
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