I have Agency Incubator course by Iman Gadzhi!
Agency Incubator offers training that covers EVERY element of creating an agency over the course of more than 20 hours. This method is practically plug-and-play, and there are plenty of success stories to support it. You enumerate... This course will cover everything for you, including recruiting clients, running effective Facebook advertising, setting out your team, onboarding clients, invoicing, and sales.
If anyone is interested in purchasing these courses from me, please leave a comment below with the word "interested" or send me a direct message.

I have Biaheza Dropshipping Course.
Want to start your own Shopify store and market it on TikTok? This course is perfect for beginners and will guide you through creating a store and using TikTok ads to drive sales. With Facebook ads becoming less effective, many are turning to TikTok as a powerful alternative.
If anyone is interested in purchasing these courses from me, please leave a comment below with the word "interested" or send me a direct message.

Hi,
Are there any good basic guides to buying a house?
I have the opportunity to buy (ftb) in the near future, with a 50%-ish deposit from my parents (grandma's inheritance). However I'm just overwhelmed with it all and don't want to make a mistake!
I have a good credit score, but 1 bounced payment in January, how important is that? It'll be in my name (I'm married) as the deposit is from me, and I have a better chance to get a mortgage.
I have a mortgage in principle, so when can I make offers, do viewings, what do I ask, what do I look for, how do I judge things, just, argh.
The deposit won't be available until May, and I'll still have that bounced payment in last 3 months until May... Am I getting ahead of myself viewing?
I'm autistic and confused and overwhelmed... Help me UKFP, you're my only hope!

So me and my boyfriend have 2 both male cats from the same litter, at first they were great together but now they keep fighting when they come near each other. We kept them inside as kittens and let them outside when they were about a year old. But we feel like since we let them outside that they kept fighting more. Now because of health stuff we’ve been keeping them inside which has been great for the most part except for all the fighting. We’ve been trying to keep them in separate rooms now but they keep crying for attention and one of them sprays like crazy. We don’t really know what to do.

My situation is so specific I can’t give a huge amount of context, but I don’t know where else to turn than to the internet?
I have a huge issue with anxiety. To the point of panic attacks. Recently I have made a huge life change because I’ve been making awful, horrible, self destructive decisions.
Im very depressed and I know that but I have zero healthcare, and so therapy is not an option. Despite being below the poverty line and having a child (6) I do not get any benefits from work, the government, or any other place. I dont even quality for sliding scale programs but all I can say is I make less than $20 more than the limit for any assistance..
Now for the past 7 years my(f27) partner (m27) have really had a rift. He wanted a kid, I wanted to be child free. Despite protection AND the pill, I got pregnant. I freaked out because I would lose my job that I LOVED. It was the happiest time of my life. The guy I liked for so so so long (almost a year) and I had been together for 11 months. I knew it was a bad idea. My job was the one that made the majority of our finances and I didn’t want to be pregnant or have a child.
Well “love” (read: emotional manipulation) won and I kept the pregnancy. Yeah I’m stupid I know. Our relationship was actually good, we had fun together and the issues we ran into we worked together and fixed them or at least started the process because of my crippling anxiety and his inclination towards anger it was a process but we were a team.
That ended when he used the ultimatum to either keep him and the baby or my job (and life I mean I brought a human into a world like this and I’m doing everything I can to not feel guilt for knowing they will face hardships because my partner would leave me if I didn’t) it was entirely a stupid mistake. He is a good dad but a horrible provider. I’m now depressed and ofc hormones ppd, ppa, I developed diabetes and other chronic health conditions and became, well I wanted to get away from the world but I have a small human that needs me. Stopped wearing my seatbelt or looking before crossing the street.
Partner turned to drugs and we split. He gets clean, we work through it. My health (mental and physical) stresses him out and then he eventually relapses. Couldn’t hold a job, so I worked 2 jobs 4 weeks after having a child. This may give away something personal but after I gave birth, he disappeared after holding our child for nearly 4 hours. Then comes into the room, has not spoken to me at all looks down at arc child, and says, “are you sure the child is mine? “. I should’ve left. But my health and financial situation made it hard. I would end up having to go back because I can’t raise a child and work two jobs. I had one friend and my mom who also has health issues that would watch my little one but has nerve issues. My dad was too far to help. Childcare is expensive Well now the past few months since the last relapse and I live with my mom and we are “trying” but he’s cost me over $5000 and he works but he’s making so little and having to pay for legal costs for possession and a few other things and might go to prison for a few months/years because he enjoys his job despite the pay.
This will be odd but he wanted to apologize and celebrate my birthday. I figured it couldn’t hurt. He couldn’t pay for any of the gifts or food. There’s another $200 but he ordered me two gifts that were collectively $70-90 with shipping maybe..
Since then I can’t eat or sleep unless I’m drunk or take way. More than the recommended dose of sleeping medication. I haven’t cried a lot but today my aunt passed away and I went from crying for hours to deciding I want to leave him and move and get my old job back. I got so happy I danced around work listening to music and finally talking to my friends again.
Idk why I got so excited but I did. Unfortunately something held me up tonight so I went to get food and gas because even though I can’t eat, I keep making meals or buying food and I just stare at it until I just give up trying to eat. While I was there, I met someone here I am just getting out of a horrible relationship. But I allowed him to get my number. Technically, my partner and I are separated but today I did decide to leave them. I just haven’t been able to tell them we haven’t lived together in months. And this other guy and I start texting turns out we have a lot in common. I don’t want another relationship but I’m also moving in a few months. The advice I need to ask about is do I wait and not tell that I am leaving my partner, which would make it easier on me and probably safer or do I end it and maybe pursue seven things like a friendship with flirtation with someone that actually seems to care about the things that I like because he likes them too.? I don’t think it’ll be a forever we’re gonna get married thing just I want to be happy. I wanna have fun and not want to stop existing. I want to get excited when my phone rings instead of dreading what has happened now. I know pretending is wrong, but it would make it easier on my mental health even though I would feel like I’m cheating even though I don’t plan on doing anything like that, just casual flirtation, and possibly being like Internet friends or we don’t see each other, but we talk and play games and watch videos, but virtually using voice chat. I was also able to eat, but only a small amount of fries. I think this decision to leave is a good one. It’s the right one, but do I leave secretly it’s not like I’m gonna hide from him. It’s just that someone else is also on a similar situation. We don’t know each other very well but I know she needs to get out to her more than me, if I go and get everything ready and then come back and get her and our kids we could have a very happy life. I am almost 100% certain that this is the right choice. I just don’t know whether I should be open to my partner or ex partner or if I should tell him and risk it, possibly getting out because my child’s father is very close friends with her partner. I started trying to reach out more with her because I found out how dangerous her situation is. It is benefiting me may be more I don’t know I’m not sure what to do. Tell or wait ?

This is my fourth try still asking for a GiftCard amounting to the same sale price of the game. I know copy paste is not appreciated here for re-attempts, but last time I really worked hard on the poem for three days (I Know the poem sucks) and people seemed displeased with it. Further I really don't have anymore to say. I have seen some old posts where this game was asked by people but was never gifted once, but some other games here are gifted again and again. I really don't know why this game doesn't get any love, but I would really appreciate you for gifting this to me. And I will one day pay you in some way or another.
What is MS Flight Simulator 2020 about?
Game (40th AE is the base game): MS Flight Simulator 40th Base Edition
Microsoft has a long history with Flight Simulators. Their first Flight simulator was released in 1982. While the previous games were fun, the new MS Flight Simulator does something incredible which no other game has ever done: It simulates the topography of the entire Earth as accurate as possible to real world through satellite data of Bing/Google maps along with Cloud Computing to generate better visuals and real data for air traffic and weather. Moreover, it also takes real wind and real-world time into consideration.
The game also has an active community-driven add-ons that only makes the game even more realistic and grander. If any game has the biggest world map of all, this is it. This game has the world map almost as big as the Earth itself. You can visit many of the world-famous attractions like Eiffel Tower, The Taj Mahal and even football stadiums! But you can also explore some famous landscapes as well, and if you fly low enough, you can experience some wildlife too. The game features Geese, Seagulls, Grizzly Bears, Black Bears, Elephants, Giraffes, Flamingos. You can experience the beautiful endless sea, but make sure you have enough fuel; You surely don't want to end up like Chuck Noland, and to make matters worse, you won't have your trustee, Wilson!
Microsoft Flight Simulator features 25 handcrafted airports, 4 classic commercial airports, 14 heliports and 15 glider airports. There are over 37,000 total airports in the game along with 37 airplanes, gliders, and helicopters with unique flight models, the likes of A320 Neo, Boeing 747, Cessna, DA62, and the cutest CTLS and A5, with detailed interiors of the cockpit. Isn't that the ultimate definition of simulation?
Why I want it:
I love exploring the world, something I am not financially able to do in real world. Every Time I watch something on TV, it's 90% of the time travel channels. The first time I tried Flight Simulator on my friend's PC, I fell in love with it. What I love about MSFS is the grand scale of the game. While in games like ETS 2 even a 4,000 KM journey can be completed in 3-4 hours, with MSFS, it would take real world time. For example, it takes ~1h 15m non-stop flight from Paris to London (Average), so it would also take almost the same amount of time in the game too (that is real world 1h 15m). Even staying in the cloudy sky is so much fun with sunlight shining, thunder and rain. I love playing simulation, tycoon games as they are the pinnacle of freedom in gaming world with no bounds. I remember when I played Flight simulator 2000 back in 2003 and wondered, what a shitty game. Seriously, at that time I thought who would play this game with 65% of the screen occupied by the cockpit? And here I am today.
What I love about the FS 2020 game:

1. There is nothing unlocked in the world. I don't have to pay extra or do specific tasks to unlock some part of the world. I can visit any place any time!
2. The scale is grand. This has the biggest map of any game.
3. So many different airplanes to choose from and they all act and feel different.
4. This game is very relaxing. I can just unwind and soak the beauty of the world from the comfort of my chair.
5. I love this game cause it takes up whopping over 150GB of Disk space.
6. I love pushing and flicking buttons. Especially the flick switches. They are so yumm to touch. And the clicky sound it makes is better than any orgasm. Basically, I am flicking and pushing buttons while flying around in a tube.
7. I can crash the plane without having to worry about anything.
8. Landing! Landing in this game is like going to final exam without studying anything. If you nail it, that feeling is amazing!
9. I can fly along with the birds!
10. I can land the plane anywhere I want. Even in a grassfields or your ex's backyard.
11. I am tired of playing the repeat levels of Fall Guys.
12. The full detailed cockpit is amazing!
13. Realistic ATC commands with interactions. If I am angry, I can choose to ignore the ATC.
14. I need to find more things I like after playing the game.

I am in touch with the MSFS community on Discord and YouTube videos, with always waiting for max737Ifly video to show up as his videos are so good and realistic (even my mom loves watching it). I just cannot get enough from this game.
I can play this game even when I am listening to Podcasts and it makes such an immersive experience. The tiny details the game provides, like waiting instructions from ATC before you move a muscle, dialing the knobs, flipping tiny switches in the cockpit only adds to the experience which I enjoy a lot. This game is enjoyed by both, casual gamers and professional pilots as well. The game sends me to another world and is like a therapy for me. And playing MS Flight Simulator makes me feel like a bird. The game brings me a joy I cannot express through words.
Here are some content from the game:

1. Some beautiful scenes (this is just a trailer)
2. Beautiful clouds
3. FS vs Real life
4. Montage
5. Hudson River

Here is me playing FS on my friend's PC:

1. Potash Ponds
2. Simpson Desert
3. The deep hole near Antarctica

why I can't get it:
I cannot afford it to be honest. I have taken some surveys to earn a bit here and there to collect for the game but it's such a long process and the reward is generally not worth it. My bad luck is that due to a technical mistake, the game was selling with 80% discount but due to time zone difference, I couldn't grab on the once in a lifetime opportunity. I also tried other giveaways for steam gift cards, but I never win them, and they are so rare to come by. I am really struggling with money and hence I am here.
Because I cannot afford the game, I tried to look into alternatives:

1. Xplanes really is the only contender, but it lacks the real-time aspect of weather, wind, terrain MS Flight Simulator provides. Moreover, it's more about planes and their simulation than exploration.
2. DCS World, which is a full-on military combat simulation game. Even though that game is extremely hard to play with a keyboard, I still managed to play some couple of hours in it. However, it's really not something I am interested in as It's not a game where you can explore the world and the Jet planes are very speedy and hard to control. Compared to that, Flight Simulator is more of an arcade style game and controlling it is fun and easy even with keyboard and mouse.

An explanation of why GamePass and MS Rewards ain't the way:
MS Rewards: In India, we can only get an Amazon gift voucher for Rs. 250 for 4,000 points. So only 162 points are allotted per day to farm. Given that, I get mere Rs. 250 in 25 days. So a total of something around 64,000 points required for a total of Rs 4000. This is what the game costs now post sale. So it would take me around more than a year to accumulate so many points. By then I might just lose interest in the game.
Game Pass: I don't have a card that can work with game pass. And in the long run it will cost me far more than what the game would have cost me. I also won 2 month free game pass key on reddit which I wasn't able to redeem due to card issue. It's a game that I plan to play for a really long time.
Also, I am saving to get a 500GB SSD just for this game along with some add-ons. I won't be asking here if I could have afforded all of these. I cannot get both of them. And SSD costs more than the game.
why you should gift it to me:
I will be playing this game everyday and you won't feel your money is wasted. This gift will bring such a big smile to my face that even Joker would feel ashamed. I know many people hoard games and don't play them, or they play for a few times and stop. I can guarantee you that once I get this game, I will be playing it every single day! This game is the reason I am for the first time requesting for a game here. And I promise I will do justice to the game and gifter. I am not requesting for any deluxe version or anything, just the base game will suffice for me. I can say it from my heart that the day I get this game, will be the day I will be flying in the air of joy! As this community works on the principle of making others happy with no selflessness! But I can never be happy unless I own this game. This game is the only game missing from my library of happiness.
If that's not enough, let me tell you something: you will feel on top of the world if you gift this game to me, even more than me. Don't ask me how. Be the first person to gift someone MS Flight Simulator on this sub and feel proud. If you don't feel on top the world, I will make sure to pick you up free of cost from your home in one of your choice of plane and will personally drop you on the top of Mt. Everest. I will also let you touch some buttons in the cockpit or let you control the yoke. But only you have to figure out how to get down from the Mt., as I will be flying all that time exploring the world. But if you don't like cold places, I can show you a secret place (This Secret place is a part of a DLC and there is a way to unlock this place)!
To anyone who gifts this game to me, I will forever remember you and engrave your name on my grave thanking you that I died in peace. And when I meet God, I will personally tell him that if it weren't for you, I would have gone to hell.
My steam ID
Price of base 40th Anniversary edition in India: Rs. 3,999. However, I will still ask for the discounted price of 2,999 which is $35. The rest I will try to manage from somewhere or use the MS Reward for 4 months.

I’ve seen the Chicco Corso Le stroller on sale this week and was wondering if anyone has any experience with it. It seems like a less popular model than the bravo but more suited for my family needs—we need an infant ready stroller that can handle a mostly walking lifestyle (no car seat needed). We have a car but mostly use it to go out of town once a month or two months to visit family so I’m getting a convertible car seat that can stay in the car. The stroller just needed to be compact enough to fit in our trunk and still have room for our luggage.
Let me know. Open to any other recommendations for infant ready strollers (not travel systems) within $450. Thanks!

I'm dating my fp and went through her phone yesterday. she lied to me about having an app I hate, i'd be fine if she told me she had it idrc. i mean if she really wants to be on it i won't stop her I'm just breaking down because the lie It wasn't the first one and she's the only one i trust I don't want that to change but it's so hard. nearly impossible for me to trust people. it was destroying me so I tried talking to her and now she's pissed I went on her phone. it hurts I deserve to be hated but It makes me want to die and she wants me to recover. so i'm just supposed to deal with it and act normal? How do I do that I relapsed last night and a couple minutes ago, I was clean for 33 days. I feel insane it's overwhelming and now i'm worried about her seeing the cuts in a few days

Donate to his veterans support charity No Duff if you can, it will go to his daughtewhanau, to return his body and continue his enduring kaupapa, which will help other whanau in this conflict and others.

No Duff Charitable Trust Givealittle page:

https://givealittle.co.nz/org/noduff

​

Kane Te Tai remembered as man of honour committed to aiding Ukraine

https://www.rnz.co.nz/news/national/486507/kane-te-tai-remembered-as-man-of-honour-committed-to-aiding-ukraine

Whānau and friends of slain soldier Kane Te Tai say he will return home as a warrior in life and death, and be remembered as a man who always fought for what was right.
RNZ understands the body of the slain New Zealand soldier has officially been identified as Te Tai and is now being transferred to Kyiv.
He is understood to have been killed while clearing a trench in the Vulhedar area of Ukraine.
Sources have told RNZ he had moved deeper into the trench, away from his team, when he was killed by Russian soldiers.
His team were forced to leave his body there, before Ukrainian marines went in and recovered him overnight.
Veteran support and advocacy group No Duff is now working to ensure a New Zealander can be available to escort his body through the country to the Polish border, before travelling with him for his final journey home.
Comrades and friends have said they believed it was important a Kiwi was always with him, but the process would not be simple.
Te Tai co-founded No Duff with Aaron Wood, who told Midday Report his mother had asked them to manage the journey home.
"We're pulling all the pieces together. A number of volunteers and interested people from New Zealand, all the way through to Ukraine and in between, are coming together to make this happen."
It was highly likely they would be able to bring him home, Wood said, but there were numerous jurisdiction challenges ahead.
Deeply respected during time in Ukraine
Te Tai joined the Defence Force after leaving high school and went on multiple deployments while serving in the 2/1 Royal Battalion.
He left the Army in 2010 and travelled to Ukraine in April last year, operating under the call sign 'Turtle'.
Te Tai was a prominent character in the warzone and was widely followed on social media.
His colleagues described him as well-known and deeply respected for his professionalism, skill, leadership and relentless sense of humour.
They said he never underestimated the importance of his job, or the lives he held in his hands.
His death marks the third New Zealander to be killed in the combat - after the deaths of his best friend Dominic Abelen and humanitarian Andrew Bagshaw.
Te Tai had become the unofficial expert for New Zealanders in Ukraine, often acting as the point of contact for Kiwis wanting to travel to the warzone. He would ensure people knew what they were signing up for, a way to get into the country and a unit to go to.
He admitted in an interview with RNZ his initial motivations for going there were selfish, but that changed quickly on arrival.
The soldier became an infamous figure in the war, often featuring on Russian propaganda sites - seen by RNZ - particularly the Wagner group, who put a NZ$11 million price tag on his head.
In a conversation with friends he joked about ratting himself out for the money, illustrating his sense of humour.
Te Tai always said to his friends he was not afraid to die, but he also was not afraid to live.
During nearly a full year in Ukraine, he garnered respect from people in all walks of life. He volunteered with Ukrainian families, taught civilians how to fight and eventually found a spot at the frontline as one of the team's leaders.
Te Tai said he was fiercely protective of his team and did anything to make sure they were safe.
During one mission in August 2022, his best friend, Abelen, was killed in trench warfare. In an interview after the mission, Te Tai said the team were unable to get his body back and it ended up in Russian hands, but that did not stop him from trying.
He told RNZ they only stopped because Abelen would not have wanted them killed in the process.
Just last week Te Tai posted on social media, revealing that while clearing a Russian position he had found a "long lost friend" who had wanted to visit New Zealand.
Te Tai had thought his friend was dead and was amazed to find him alive, describing it as a "Hollywood moment".
He said at first he did not recognise the man, who had been shot four times and was skinny.
"He'd been starved by Russians for two months and drinking anti-freeze because the Russians wanted a laugh."
The man did not want to be left with the Ukrainians, but Te Tai had to keep fighting. He promised he would return and walk him personally to hospital.
That was exactly what he did, he said.
'The people grow on you'
In that August interview with RNZ, Te Tai said he had fallen in love with the country and its people, and was deeply respectful of their resolve.
"I was sort of getting a bit bored of being at home... and coming into this conflict was just one of those things that selfishly I thought I could be close to the war without getting too entangled.
"But then that sort of changes... I've met so many people, I've been everywhere in this country and the place grows on you, the people grow on you, and their strength, and that's why I'm still here."
Te Tai said he was prepared to leave everything in Ukraine, but in the weeks before his death he had made moves to return home.
His mother said he always kept her up to date, ending the calls with "I love you Mum", but more recently it was like "I'll see you soon".
In a Facebook message to another friend he said he loved Ukraine, but it was time to start living a real life - "gotta put the toys away and start to build while I can", he said.
"That's enough war for me, I love this place, it's like a playground where I can do anything I want.
"But that's the problem isn't it? So before the game gets me or before I decide that life here is too easy, maybe it's time to start living my real life.
"This place is pure escapism, we are all trying to run from something, mine is from having a real life, but the time is near."
Passionate about the cause
Te Tai is being remembered by his friends and comrades as a man of honour who was passionate about his cause, always doing everything he could to protect people.
Longtime friend Aaron Wood described Te Tai as a beautiful man, who he loved to bits.
"He just wanted people to live their best lives and he wanted to help as many people as he could.
"That sounds like a cliché, but with him it's a truism. That's his whole life... Just serving people, that's what he did, that's what his message was."
That was what he died doing, Wood said.
His mum, Ngaire Te Tai, said there was never any talking him out of it.
"He never did anything by halves, my son. We tried to stop him, but he had his mind made up, that's just Kane.
"When you were around him, you just felt safe."
A gift she said she knew he spread much further than just Ukraine.
Ngaire Te Tai's final comment about her eldest boy was: "Don't let my son's death be in vain."
He leaves behind a 12-year-old daughter.

“Don’t get me wrong, I don’t find anything glorious about killing young mobilised Russian boys who are crying in their trenches”
https://www.stuff.co.nz/world/europe/300777917/the-shelling-is-so-close-it-makes-you-puke-says-kiwi-fighting-in-ukraine

The shelling is so close it makes you puke, says Kiwi fighting in Ukraine

A Kiwi soldier fighting under Ukraine’s military intelligence says he’s prepared to die.
Kane Te Tai, code name Turtle, is fighting in a secretive reconnaissance unit on Ukraine’s front line in the eastern Donetsk region.
After deaths, injuries and resignations, Te Tai now leads the Foreign Reconnaissance Team after only joining in July.
A December article in The New Yorker magazine revealed the existence of the unit and featured Turtle.
It’s the same unit that 28-year-old Kiwi Dominic Abelen was fighting in when he was killed in August, and the two were like brothers.
Te Tai’s unit has set up a PayPal to fundraise for vehicles it needs to move around its area of operation, near the town of Pavlivka.
As Te Tai was interviewed, he had to be careful his phone wasn’t too bright, so as to not give his unit away to any Russian drones flying overhead.
“We live on the line, we just occupy whatever place we can find at the time. If it gets too hot we just find somewhere else,” he told Stuff.
His unit’s job is primarily reconnaissance, a small mobile force that could reach into Russian land or no-man’s land between the trenches, and destroy a tank or hold a position, before the Ukrainian army moved in.
“Find it, locate it, observe it, report it, attack it.”
Good 4x4 vehicles are a necessity.
Donetsk is known for farming and coal production, and Te Tai described the land as similar to the Canterbury plains.
Soldiers try and use the tree lines separating the fields for cover, and trench systems are built through them.
During the winter, the roads and fields are muddy, pocked by craters from Russian artillery barrages.
The Foreign Reconnaissance Team can get the necessities of war – food, bombs, clothing, bullets - just fine.
Reliable working vehicles and parts, and enough for an emergency stockpile, are harder to come by.
The Foreign Reconnaissance Team is reliant on vehicles driven into Ukraine from throughout Europe by volunteers and paying for them with donated money.
“You can use that vehicle until it is blown up or you crash it, unfortunately both those things happen all the time,” Te Tai said.
“The last three vehicles we’ve had, in the last month, they’ve been hit with artillery. Holes in the front, s... just smashed through.”
Unlike the famous International Legion Battalion, which tens of thousands of foreigners have joined since the start of the war, the Foreign Reconnaissance Team is for some of the highly-trained foreign few.
Te Tai served a tour in Afghanistan for the New Zealand Defence Force and thinks of himself as having spent his whole life training to fight.
His team is given autonomy, building trust with local Ukrainian commanders to find out what they want and then formulating missions.
Te Tai was able to talk about one operation the Foreign Reconnaissance Team conducted during a December battle in Pavlivka, first described in the New Yorker article.
Te Tai and a small team of a half-dozen were set to cross a bridge at night and enter a tree line which ran into the centre of the town.
The mission was to see how close they could get to the Russian positions before they were fired on.
“The moment that we got onto the bridge, everything just opened up, rockets, missiles everything. We ran across this bridge and were just trying to scramble to the safest nearest spot.”
Te Tai’s team managed to get into the tree line and into a trench – all in the dark – but the Russians began to shell progressively towards them down the tree line.
“I remember just looking at everyone in the pit and we all had this look on our faces like, ‘well, the party had to end some time’. We had this feeling of acceptance.”
But, just as the next shell was set to kill the team, it flew off somewhere else and the Russians then began to bomb regressively back along the tree line.
“By divine intervention we missed getting smashed... We all knew we were supposed to die that night.”
Before joining Foreign Reconnaissance, Te Tai was working for a church training Ukrainians in basic military skills.
He was open with people back in New Zealand about what he was experiencing, including old army colleagues.
Te Tai described an environment where Kiwis in Ukraine often stayed in touch and worked together, including Dominic Abelen who contacted Te Tai before making the trip.
When Abelen said that he was set to join the International Legion Battalion, Te Tai told Abelen he was hearing bad stories.
“You go there as a foreigner, you get given a weapon, some ammunition, and sit inside a trench and you fight or die, that’s how it’s portrayed.
“People would tell us: 'Thank you for training my son, he didn’t make it back, but I felt he was better off than he was before’,” he said.
Abelen, now with the nickname Tolkien, made his way into the Ukrainian army, but managed to get taken into Ukrainian military intelligence.
Talking to Abelen about what he was doing, Te Tai had had enough of training soldiers and the 37-year-old felt like he was running out of time to fight.
“I told him [Abelen], ‘I’ll jump in with you too’.
“And he [Abelen] was like ‘thank God, cool man’,” said Te Tai.
He ended the volunteer work and a recruiter told Te Tai to get to Lviv where he entered a secretive military intelligence training camp.
Recruits weren’t allowed to use their phones and were closely evaluated for a two-week period.
“Pretty much from the second they take you into the camp, they don’t tell you what’s going on.
“They operate it like a psychological test, to see if you can be just told what to do and not know any other parameters,” he said.
Access to weapons was heavily restricted and there was heavy scrutiny as Ukrainian officials went through candidates’ records and social media, trying to weed out spies and the weak.
“When you talk to someone, it’s always a cover story, you’re never talking to who you think you’re talking to,” Te Tai said.
Then, one morning in July, officials gave Te Tai a contract and drove him to the Foreign Reconnaissance Team in Donetsk.
“As soon as we pulled up... Dom had no shirt on... he said, ‘let’s do some work’.”
“I was like ‘my man!’.”
Abelen had put in a good word for him with Ukrainian intelligence, Te Tai said.
He gave Te Tai the code name of Turtle, after he had originally named himself Talon. Talon was too cool, Abelen said.
Te Tai described new troops arriving for the unit as a big event, a celebration of strengthening the group after the fighting took its toll.
“There’s a high attrition rate either by death, injury, or guys wanting to leave.”
The Foreign Reconnaissance Team currently operates out of a house, planning their missions on a whiteboard.
“We’re normally strapped for time. If we’re not out working we are resting, or we are giving instructions.”
Te Tai said there aren’t ranks in the unit, so while he is the team’s leader, he sits on the same step as the other foreigners in the unit.
He eats Ukrainian food: soups like borscht, and two-minute noodles and toast.
At night Te Tai watches Netflix and YouTube fail compilations to decompress. Sometimes, he hears the Russians shelling, keeping him awake.
When you’re fired on by artillery, you can hear the lifespan of the shell, he said.
He described how shells left the Russian gun with a distant duh-boom, screeching through the air, before exploding somewhere on the Ukrainian side of the line.
Some shells landed far away, but some hit so close to soldiers that the concussion made them puke and made them feel sick for the next day, he said.
“That shit happens like every week.”
About six weeks after Te Tai joined the unit, Abelen was killed during a mission.
“It pissed me off more than anything, it just consolidated for me that I’m not leaving any time soon.”
Te Tai said Abelen didn’t have a death wish, but he was a soldier and fighting was what he had trained for his whole life.
“I could have told him, ‘you are going to die today’ and he would have been like ‘it’s a good day to die’, that’s just who he was.”
Killing didn’t weigh on Te Tai’s mind, he said. He described it as part of the job, and said his views hadn’t changed since Abelen’s death.
“Don’t get me wrong, I don’t find anything glorious about killing young mobilised Russian boys who are crying in their trenches,” he said.
“I’m willing to die, for sure, but I don’t want to die.”
Te Tai has no plans to leave and wants to attend a victory day parade in Kyiv.
“I know we’re going to win, I know that for sure,” he said.
“I’m staying here until I can’t take it any more, or I am dead.”

Hi!
I moved to Chicago during the pandemic, and I’m not a smoker.
My sister is in rehab for at least another month. She called me last night and asked me to send her cigarettes, which I am happy to do.
However, they’re $17/pack in Chicago. Is there a way to get them cheaper if I drive to the suburbs or Indiana? Can anyone tell me where to go? I live near South Loop if that matters.
Yes, I know they’re bad for you but smoking is the very least of our concerns for my sister. It’s one of the few things that we’re allowed to send to her, so I guess her counselors don’t discourage it either.
Thank you!

When I (23M) was 10 years old my father divorced my mother and about two years later he married my stepmother with whom he has 3 children. After my parent's divorce, my mother went to live about 10km away from my father, who bought a house with my stepmother, they still live there to this day. My family has always been multicultural, apart from my stepmother being Ghanaian, my mother is French and my father's parent emigrated from Czechoslovakia in the 80's. By the way, English is not my mother tongue, therefore I'm sorry for any mistake I could make.
I've been aware the situation has been deteriorating for a while, a few years after they've got married, my stepmother developed pathological jealousy and suspiciousness towards my mother. She basically forbade my father to contact her over any matter, throwing a fit and almost leaving the country with my stepsister when she discovered they were still talking together over work related issues. We all quickly realized we were walking on eggshells, she would be deeply suspicious of him and would pick fights with him over little misunderstandings, even for things me and my (1 year younger) sister would say. Overall she revealed herself to be quite selfish and irresponsible, she's the one that earns the most money in the marriage, yet she spends it on beauty products, expensive clothes and sends a significant amount to Africa, where she launched some business. She's hardly ever there for the kids, leaves my father at home with the them and goes out with friends or after-work events. From my father's perspective, she's a bad mother and I would tend to agree on this.
On the other side, my father hasn't been himself lately. He found a new job with the help of my stepmother and is now earning about as much as she does, but at the same time he keeps working for his own company, even though he's supposed to have closed it for months. My grandfather got sick with rapidly progressing dementia, last year, he's now in the late stages, unable to move, and is taken care of by my grandmother, my uncle and him. My sister dropped out of college and works for my father's company, she's clueless as to what to do with her life and lives with her boyfriend, which doesn't seem to care much about it. He has to take care of the kids, take them to school, take care of the house which is basically still under construction. So many things lie on his shoulders and he looks exhausted. Overall he seems to be letting everything unfold as if he wasn't part of it. He takes forever to answer to us - me and my sister - and changes his mind all the time, he doesn't seem to see things clearly. Lately he has been talking about buying a house for my mother, because she's in a precarious financial situation, but as soon as my stepmother heard about it, she disappeared for a week to "make him realize his mistake".
My father is a very secretive person, he does not talk about his problems, he keeps everything inside and never seeks help from anybody. After living a few years in Czechia, I realized this attitude was very common amongst Czechs, as it is unacceptable, in the Czech society, to bother other people with your personal issues.
He's basically the one on which my whole family relies, but it is beginning to get clear that he's failing at it, because nobody can stand that much pressure without putting his own health in jeopardy. On the other side I must say that he was not always a good father to us - me and my sister - he left us alone when we were 10, we didn't see him for a year. He would give me financial help when I was abroad, and then decide to cut it without warning. He told me many times he did not believe in me and I basically had to make myself alone. It's beginning to clear to me that he doesn't know how to manage his own life, but at the same time I just see what's on the surface and God knows what he's going through by himself.
I've been living in a city about 100km away from them, and came to visit yesterday, while staying at my mother's place. Last night my stepmother proposed to take me back there because it was late and I came without my car. Upon arriving, we started to talk about my father, she told me how she feels exhausted from him, how he's been hiding things from her. There was, for instance, some issues with the nurse that takes care of my grandfather, as she's apparently been sending very personal messages to my father, she noticed it and also noticed he was buying train tickets for her. When she confronted him about it, he went to see the nurse and apologized for my stepmother's jealousy, the nurse recorded it and sent it to people in the local African community, now apparently everybody's talking trash about my stepmother. She then fired her, but my grandmother called her back and told my stepmother to stay away from her house. On another occasion she found a hotel reservation for two people on the backseat of my father's car.
She then went on to tell me she was, in fact, not suspicious at all of my mother, but the fact that my father would try to hide every conversation they had from her made her think that there was more to it. Also the fact that my father keeps so many things inside makes her very distrustful of him. She then told me she has been gathering evidence and contacted a lawyer, but she's waiting to see if my father wakes up and changes something after their trip to Africa, next April.
I'm sorry for the length, but there you see how complicated this whole situation is. I've always known that it was, but I didn't suspect it to be nearly as bad as this. I told her I would discuss with my father, but just what am I supposed to tell him? I don't even understand who's at fault, if not both of them. Of course he could take charge of his life, sell his company, get more sleep and be more clear and honest when communicating with other people, but isn't this just a consequence of this terrible marriage? I don't really understand what's going on and yet I bear this information and am clueless what to do with it. Should I warn my father about a potential divorce ahead? Should I tell him what my stepmother think is wrong and ask him why he's been behaving this way? She did not say she would divorce, but she's considering it.
TL;DR : my stepmother told me she's considering divorce with my father and I don't know what to tell him, but they both seem to have messed up.

Part 1
I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what to think even.
Emily knows my biological mom?
“Why didn’t you tell me before?” I asked.
Emily’s smile was as thin as ice. “I didn’t think you were ready. Now you are.”
“Ready for what?”
“You’ll know soon enough. Sleep tight, Skye. You have to go to school tomorrow.”
I couldn’t sleep. All I saw, in my nightmares and painted on the ceiling, was Alfie’s face. He whispered my name while I dreamed and wriggled into my happiest memories. I woke up screaming as his body twisted and swelled.
We will meet again. Alfie hissed through a series of clicks.
It was too quiet when I woke up the next morning. I was used to Emily yelling for me to wake up for school or my dad rushing to get dressed for work and brushing his teeth or the smell of burned bacon and pancakes and eggs down from the kitchen. Or at the very least Alfie ringing my ears off to tell me he was waiting too long outside.
But the silence whispered through the halls, sneaking into my room and tickling my heart. I rubbed my eyes and sat with my knees tucked against my chest, watching the sun rise. The sky was lit in gold as the darkness slithered away, but it was as if dawn had never arrived at all.
I got dressed and headed downstairs. At that point I realised exactly why the house was so quiet and my heart stopped cold.
Most of the stuff we owned was packed up into boxes; and anything that was too big was covered by translucent tarps. Emily and my dad were huddled together in the kitchen. They looked so lost, so hollow, like they’d just come back from Alfie’s funeral and had not stopped crying since.
“Hey morning,” I said tersely.
“Morning,” Emily said. She still wasn’t looking at me. “Did you sleep well or do you still look like a panda bear?”
“Ha ha.” I made myself some coffee. It tasted like muddy water.
Emily looked at the clock. “You better hurry up or you’ll be late for school, Sleepy Skye.”
“But—” The night before was still spinning in my mind. Questions bubbled to the back of my throat, dying on my lips.
Emily placed a hand on my shoulder.
“Don’t worry, Skye. I’ll explain more later when the time is right.”
School felt like forever. All of my classes passed in a blur. Everyone avoided me like the plague, and whispered behind their hands when I walked past. I didn’t really care. I rested my head on my hands and wished Alfie was here. Whispering that everything would be okay.
Creak
When the last bell rang I plodded through the halls. The chatter around me had blended into a monotonous stream of nothing. I looked around me and saw Alfie’s face around me, in the couples making out near the lockers, in the teenagers huddled together like penguins.
My heart ached again.
Alfie…
My dad’s van was waiting for me at the school entrance, coughing up smoke like an old, retired dragon. It was jammed full of boxes and things wrapped in bubble paper. I was surprised it could even move a centimetre without something breaking inside.
“Hop in Skye,” said my dad, poking his head out of one window.
“Um, where are we going?”
“To my old place,” Emily explained, poking her head out of the other window. “I—we—thought it would be good for you, for…for the both of us.”
“After…after…y’know.”
Alfie died.
The wind was still once more, as if mourning over him in its deep grief too. I crumbled against the side of the van, letting hot tears stream down my cheeks.
Alfie…
Without a word more I climbed into the van and my dad sped off immediately. I gazed outside the window, watching country roads blend into billboards and highways, and let the van rock me into a soothing sleep.
“We’re here. Wake up, Sleepy Skye.”
Emily’s house, as it turned out, was a two-storey monster tucked away from the heart of the city. The paint was peeling away and the bricks underneath were slick with slime. Mold crawled between the bricks and stayed there, dying the house green. I turned away and nearly threw up.
“This way,” Emily said, climbing a set of stairs. It was really dark, and everything was covered in shadow. The only source of light was a small Gothic window that shone through the gloom in a weak white arm. Set at the side of the stairwell was a black iron door. I started towards it, but Emily glared at me, so I abandoned the door and followed her.
The second floor was surprisingly well-kept. The floors were swept and the walls clean of dust. Picture frames depicting bugs and scarabs hung onto the wall, polished until it shone. There was even a pot of tea on the table.
“Knock yourself out,” Emily said as she collapsed onto the couch. She closed her eyes.
“Make yourself at home.”
“It stinks,” I observed, wrinkling my nose.
In fact it was the worst stink I had ever smelled in my life. It tore through the walls and floors like it was made of paper and I gagged. I sprinted to the window, stuck my head out and breathed in relief.
Emily raised an eyebrow.
“There’s some…construction going on downstairs,” she explained. “We just got here, so bear with it a little longer, okay Skye?”
“Yeah,” I choked. My eyes were watering. If I could see the smell it would be a big black cloud hovering in the air, howling and shaking in its stinky fury.
“Can I explore the city? I need some fresh air.”
“Go ahead,” Emily said, turning away. “Just be back for dinner.”
I nodded. I had never sprinted out of my old house so fast in my life, rubbing my smarting eyes. Even at the distance I could smell it, and once again I felt like throwing up.
After some time I slowed to a walk and really started to look around. It wasn’t much of a city—and it also wasn’t much of a town—but somewhere in between. It was getting quite late in the day with the sun streaming slowly in from the west, but the town felt…alive in a way. Shopkeepers hollered their wares from the inside of their ornate walls, and people were strolling on the streets, their arms interlocked laughing and whistling.
I tried not to think of Alfie.
A couple of blocks away I saw a large diner, its neon sign beckoning me inside. Getting closer I could smell heaven: char-grilled meats, fresh cakes and cookies, and something else in a fryer or oven.
My stomach growled. I wiped off my drool with my sleeves.
Pushing the door open, I went in.
The diner was abuzz with chatter and laughter; people were toasting each other with glasses of beer and ale. Yet everything died the moment I came in. Time stood still; heads swiveled to look at me and a collective gasp rose from the frozen crowd. I felt like an animal in a zoo as I navigated through the chaos and found a table to sit.
“Don’t mind ‘em.”
The speaker was a living Popeye, with a big, floppy nose and bigger arms that bulged with muscles and fat and a tattoo of a beetle instead of an anchor. He was wearing a greasy, bloody apron and a cap that was too small for a nest of blonde hair.
“It’s been a while since we had anyone new around here. Thirteen years, in fact. Also, hold on…”
He squinted hard at me, his eyes moving from my head down to my legs.
“Are you Skye?”
Goosebumps pricked my skin once more. I looked outside and realised the wind had once again stood still.
“Yes! How do you know?”
The man opposite me thought for a moment, then shouted something to the kitchens. Then he sat down opposite me and grinned, revealing yellowed teeth.
“Your stepmom talks about you a lot. She adores you, you know.”
He cupped my head in his hands and brushed a lock of hair off my head. Tears welled in his eyes.
“You look a lot like your mom. Same face, same eyes.”
He knocked on my face like it was a piece of wood.
Click clock
“Rock solid too.”
My hair stood up on my skin as I stared straight into the eyes of this man who I just met.
“Y-you know my biological mom too?”
The man’s smile grew even wider. “Let’s just say…kind of.”
He extended his hand. “I’m sorry I haven’t introduced myself earlier. Call me Mr Lancaster. I’m the owner here.”
“I’m pleased to meet you too,” I replied, shaking his hand.
“Boss? Everything is ready.”
One of the waiters skidded to a halt near our table. He was a handsome youth—freckles and curly red hair. He held out a huge plastic bag to me.
Mr Lancaster smiled at me in a way that made my heart melt.
“Fish and chips. And I threw in some strawberry milkshakes as well. It’s one of our best dishes on the menu. Emily is always going on and on about how crazy you are for ‘em.”
“Wow! Thank you Mr Lancaster!”
“It’s on the house too. A welcome gift from me. Tell your stepmom she doesn’t have to pay back a single cent.”
He glanced out at the darkening sky, sweat mopping his brow.
“You better be going now. It’s getting late. See you soon, Skye. You’re always welcome here.”
And with that, he practically shoved me out of the door.
The bell tinkled as I stumbled onto the street, nearly tripping over the food. It was really heavy, mind you. Like a thousand dumb-bells made out of solid gold. By the time I reached my flat my arms ached.
I dropped the takeaway on the floor and sat down on one of the stairs to rest. The sun had completely set at this point; long, thin shadows crawled across the wall to the corners. Soon I was plunged in darkness. I could barely see my hand in front of my face.
My vision suddenly cleared, and I realised I could see. Somehow. Dark shapes shifted and twisted before my eyes, but I could still make out details of every brick, every scratch on the stairs and wall. The takeaway sat untouched before me.
It was like looking through an extremely grainy CCTV.
BANG BANG BANG!
As the bangs echoed throughout the hallway I froze, the excitement of my discovery gone.
BANG BANG BANG!
SKYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEE!
My name was shouted with great abandon, the call tinged with sorrow and pain. I inched closer and realised that it was coming from the iron door.
SKYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEE!
Whoever was calling me was thrashing against the door, making the hinges shake. I backed away, my heart in my throat. All the hair on my skin was standing up straight.
BANG BANG BANG!
The stink slapped me in the face, making my nose itch. My eyes didn’t leave the door as I scrambled up the stairs to the main apartment, leaving everything in the dust.
It was only when I slammed the door behind me and sprinted down the hallway to my bedroom did I realise I forgot the takeaway still sitting at the bottom of the stairs.
Oh well I told myself, trying to calm my shaking heart. I can go back in a few minutes.
I’m sure Emily and Dad won’t mind.
The city had fallen asleep. The hustle and bustle seemed to have vanished with the last of the sun. The streets were illuminated faintly with lamps that shone like a halo. My room looked like it belonged in a horror movie.
I lay on my bed for a while, squeezing my eyes shut and listening to my heart beat. The screams had long died down, but I somehow heard them long and clear in my mind, as if blasted by an invisible loudspeaker.
SKYEEEEEEE!
Low and loud, like a foghorn from a ship lost at sea.
SKYEEEEEEEEE!
“Shut up!” I screamed, my eyes welling with tears. I curled up in a ball and squeezed my head with my pillow. Even then the screams rammed against the sides of my head, over and over again, and I was dizzy from the pain.
Eventually I got out of bed and wandered throughout the house, hoping for something to distract myself from the eternal noise. The apartment was shaded in the same grainy darkness, except for the dining-room, which was glowing invitingly like a crackling campfire. Something clanged and tinkled. Cutlery probably. Either Emily or my dad setting the table. My stomach grumbled. The smell from the diner was making me hungry.
I started towards the dining room but then I heard it. A strange chitter-chatter. Like crickets, even though we lived so far from nature.
It was coming from the pictures hanging on the wall.
I hadn’t paid much attention to them when I first came in, but now it was drawing me closer like a moth to a flame. The bugs chittered again, and their legs twisted and struggled, almost like it was dancing. Looking closer, I realised that all the pictures depicted the same figure. A woman in various poses with the head of a bug with too-large eyes. She was wearing a dress that shone like fire and was glaring at the camera.
“Mom?”
I clapped my hand over my mouth. I didn’t know where that came from. I looked nothing like her. I didn’t know her. It was my first time seeing her.
But Alfie…
No, no, no! I’m mad! I must be going mad! It’s the screams, I thought, the screams were driving me cuckoo! Making me think crazy thoughts!
I forced myself to look away and shove those thoughts out of my mind. I didn’t know what to believe anymore.
“Skye? Dinner time!”
Emily’s calls broke through the confusing mess in my head. I was grateful that she came to my rescue. Glancing back at the photo of my mum (no, she isn’t! How can I be related to…that?), I scurried down the hallway and into the dining room.
Emily had saved the takeaway.
It sat between us on the newly-dusted table. Emily pulled out foil containers and set one each before me and my dad.
“Mr Lancaster called about the fish and chips,” she explained. “He was delighted to have met you, Skye.”
She ruffled my hair, and chuckled as she handed me a strawberry milkshake. “But it looked like his little delivery girl got cold feet on her first order, eh?”
“Emily!” I groaned. I took a long sip and licked my lips. The milkshake was delicious. Rich, creamy and filled with enough sugar to make my insulin go straight into overdrive.
“Hey,” I noted, sitting down after a while. The pure sweetness of that drink was enough to make my head spin. “Mr Lancaster made some extra fish and chips.”
And it stank too. Almost as much as whatever is behind that iron door.
“Oh, that’s nothing,” Emily said quickly, sweeping the bag off the table and rushing it to the kitchen. “Mr Lancaster always makes me extra. He knows I’m always hungry after midnight!”
I chuckled nervously, feeling the weight of my worries lift off my shoulders. Emily did eat a lot after midnight. A couple of times I had spotted her sneaking to the living room with the television on and a bag of chips.
Yet this particular container stuck out like a sore thumb. Not just the smell, or how big it was compared to the others, but…but, was it me or was it glowing?
I buried that thought into the deepest recesses of my mind. No. I had enough wild and crazy thoughts and visions for one night.
Succumbing to them was not what Alfie would have wanted.
That was not what any of us would have wanted.
Once we had finished dinner, I helped to clear the table and wash the cutlery. Emily turned to me and said:
“I’ve got some things to do tonight. Take care, Skye, and take care of your dad.”
“He does not look well.”
Sick actually. Dad looked like he was going to throw up. He staggered to the couch and passed out on the leather. I couldn’t help but pity him. Fifty-six years old, and all that oil into the fish and chips was not doing his heart any good.
“I’ll look after him,” I promised.
“Good girl.” Emily gave me another thin smile. She pulled on a jacket—a black jacket with a golden rim—and gave me a kiss on my forehead.
“I won’t be long.”
Emily strode out of the house, taking the last box of fish and chips with her. There was something clinking in her pocket, like suits or armor banging together. And just as she stepped out of the front door, she pulled out that something from her pocket. I only saw it for a brief second, but it was enough to make my heart race.
It was a key. But not just any key.
This one was black. Like evil. Like ash. Like the iron door.
It smirked at me as it hid back in her pocket. A shiver ran up my spine.
“Emily, wait!”
“Is there a problem, Skye?”
“Yeah. I wanna ask you something.”
I took a deep, shaky breath. There was a lump in my throat and my heart was beating way too fast.
“The iron door on the first floor…what’s behind it?”
“It’s nothing, Skye,” Emily said. Her eyes darted to somewhere behind me and fixed on one of the bug women. “Just some of my old stuff, y’know? From before I met your dad?”
“Right…”
“Now I have to go. I’ll be late otherwise. I’ll see you later, okay Skye?”
I swallowed as I watched her leave. Uncertainty still sat tight in my stomach, wound up like a spring, and wouldn’t let go.
“Dad? You okay?”
No response. My dad was out like a light.
Then his eyes shot open.
I gulped.
They got bigger and bigger. I saw each individual vein popping out and weaving into each other like mini spider webs.
Then it bulged and swelled. His head enlarged to accommodate it.
Chills shot down my spine as I realised exactly what was going on.
“Dad?”
Click click click.
His lips split and burst into mandibles. I scrambled over and held his hand.
“Don’t do this to me. Don’t be like Alfie.”
I was crying. I was shaking. Oh god, I was shaking so bad it felt like I was in an earthquake.
Click click click
I scrambled over and held his hand. It only seemed to make it worse, however. I watched as it shrank and turned black and folded into itself.
“Dad! Fight it!”
He hunched over and coughed out so much more blood.
Ack ack ack
“DAD!”
His spine was curving over and hardening into a black shell. I dropped his hand and backed away into a corner, my face white.
Ack ack ack.
The floor was blooming. Grass spread thin like a carpet and tall trees grew. I saw red flowers explode onto new branches, like a bundle of fireworks.
My dad clicked and clacked, as if enjoying the new scenery.
No…
My skin was crawling. Literally. I looked down and saw bumps pulsing beneath the folds, marching along to my heartbeat. Then it broke and a cockroach popped out. It took a deep breath, bowed, clicked and clacked in the same rhythm as my dad’s—slow and steady, a pulse—
And…
And I SWEAR I heard the cockroach say:
“Your Highness.”
I screamed. It bounced off new grass and fresh flora.
I’m really going mad now.
I pinched myself, wondering if I was living in some kind of nightmare. But I wasn’t. It was as real as the still lights from the street lamps shining in through the window.
Click clack.
More cockroaches were spilling out from my skin like a dam left unchecked. My dad looked at me inquisitively. Cement was quickly turning into dirt.
Click clack
My thoughts were clambering over each other as I squatted, paralysed in my corner, watching the cockroaches with my mouth open. My dad—no longer human—crawled into the walls and towards me. Staring at the roaches and slowly reaching out to them. They squeaked and climbed over him.
This was too much. I did the only thing I could think of.
My phone was butter in my hands. My vision blurred and I kept on punching in the wrong numbers.
Thankfully, Emily answered the phone on the first ring.
I took a deep breath and screamed into the receiver. My voice was shaking so bad I was surprised I could say anything at all.
“EMILY! HELP!”
SK

Something happened last night and I’m still high so I don’t know if I’m overreacting. Me (23F) my friend (25f) and her boyfriend (25m) got drunk and also high on coke, so we were VERY talkative and often times incoherent, if you know you know.
I’ve known my friend, we’ll call her Chloe, for nearly a year and she’s great. Her boyfriend, we’ll call Jack, I’ve never been too keen on. They’ve been together for 5 years and sometimes he can be a bit of a dick, Chloe is not delusional but I think a part of her thinks they’ve been together for so long they may as well make it to the end. He can sometimes be lazy and a bit childish, but overall he is a pretty intelligent guy intellectually and emotionally.
We were talking about really deep topics and the topic of Jack’s family came up. He said how he doesn’t really speak much with his family because they are very ignorant and it’s exhausting trying to ‘correct’ them all the time. Basically lots of racial microaggressions, his mum actually got brought to court because she, and I quote, saw a woman in a hijab sat in a corner and she said to her colleague “I bet she doesn’t speak English” or something along those lines. I believe she is some sort of teacher.
He brought up how his family constantly used slurs and he has to tell them to stop, and Chloe said sometimes family members would say really ignorant things to her because they “can’t say it in front of Jack” and this makes her super uncomfortable too.
For context, he grew up in and his family still lives in Croydon, which is south of London. It is very culturally diverse, specifically with black minorities. Him and his family are white.
He was talking about how it’s very ironic that his mum says the things she says (she’s one of those people who refuses to educate themselves because they think the world has gone ‘sensitive’ and ‘woke’) because one of her best friends is actually black. He was saying how he knows she wouldn’t dare say the things she says in front of her friend, so for her to claim she isn’t being racist is hypocritical.
Anyway, he said “her friend isn’t a [c word that rhymes with moon], I don’t think she knows what my mum says behind closed doors”. I was initially very taken aback because I never hear that word, especially in this country.
I immediately called him out and said that it’s a slur. He said he understands but he meant it in the context of black people being performative towards white people, which is where the word apparently originated. He said people have discussed this with him before and he knows to never say that word in front of someone who is actually black because even if he meant it ‘in that context’ it would obviously be in big trouble. Chloe agreed and said he had to be careful saying that word, it’s clear they have had a conversation about it before.
This is what is confusing me. I do believe using that word is wrong in any context (he said the n word purely has racist origins so he would never say it) and I personally had no idea it has a different context as I’ve only ever known it as a slur (also not very common in the UK either).
I’m just confused because he is very against slurs, always calls out racism etc. I know this doesn’t mean he can’t be racially ignorant but I think I was just very confused in the context of the situation because it came out of nowhere.
Jack isn’t ignorant, he’s quite an emotionally intelligent person and so is Chloe. I don’t know if this is some weird blip.
I’ve had similar situations before with close friends who used words/said things I don’t agree with. I understand no one is perfect, but these situations create a lot of anxiety for me as it triggers a ‘guilty conscience’ reaction in my head which leads to panic attacks and long bouts of depression. I’m currently in therapy unpacking things like this, because some things have grey areas and I’m not automatically a bad person for wanting to stay friends with someone even after they said something out of the blue.
I was just wondering people’s thoughts on this. This is the first time he has ever said something like this and I’ve known him for nearly a year. He is very outspoken against racism and microaggressions usually, so now I feel confused.
Tl;dr my friend’s boyfriend who is usually very outspoken against racism/slurs, mentioned a slur when describing his racist mum’s friend (who is black). He told me as the ‘context’ of the word has multiple meanings he felt okay to use it.

This is from the Sky News (UK) Website
"Human blood is set to "drench" one of the UK's most famous landmarks in a protest over Prince Harry's controversial remarks about the number of people he killed in Afghanistan.
Russian artist Andrei Molodkin says he will project a sculpture featuring blood donated by Afghans on to St Paul's Cathedral in the coming days, along with footage of the Duke of Sussex.
It comes after Harry faced criticism for revealing in his memoir that he killed 25 Taliban fighters while serving in Afghanistan, writing that it was "not a number that fills me with satisfaction, but nor does it embarrass me".
The prince also admitted that he did not think of those he killed as "people", but instead as "chess pieces" that had been taken off the board.
Molodkin told Sky News that Harry's remarks had made him "very, very angry" and the idea of his project "is to drench St Paul's Cathedral in the blood of Afghani people".
"They read they are just 'chess figures'... for some prince hunting by helicopter," he said. "It looked like a safari situation.
"How he told it, for him it's like a computer game."
The artwork contains blood donated by Afghans, says Andrei Molodkin
The sculpture is called Royal Blood Blood 'pumped' into royal coat of arms
Molodkin said four Afghans in Calais had already given blood for the sculpture and another five Afghans in the UK will donate when the stunt is carried out before the end of March.
The artist said about 1,250ml of blood will be used for the artwork after being taken from donors by a registered nurse, kept in a fridge and then "pumped" into the sculpture of the royal coat of arms.
Explaining how the project will work, he said: "Blood will go in the royal coat of arms, it will circulate in there.
"It will be projected... on to the cathedral - so all the cathedral will be in the blood of Afghani people."
Moldokin said a video featuring Prince Harry will also be projected on to the cathedral.
Artist will try to take blood from inside cathedral
Molodkin said he will attempt to take the Afghans' blood inside the cathedral - where Harry's parents, King Charles and Diana, were married - but he has not approached St Paul's to seek permission.
"I think in the church, you can give the blood," he said.
"It's a cathedral - it's for everyone. Everyone can come there and pray. Donating blood, it's kind of a way of praying."
Sky News approached St Paul's Cathedral for comment but did not receive a response.
Molodkin, who used to serve in the Soviet Union's army, said he explained to all the Afghan donors why they were giving blood.
Asked how they felt about Harry's remarks, he replied: "I think they are very angry."
He added: "Even in the army, you're scared to participate in the shooting of others… you're very stressed about. But he thinks it's a video game."
Afghan on Harry: 'We should get compensation'
Molodkin, who now lives in the south of France, hit the headlines last year after he produced a sculpture featuring an image of Vladimir Putin that was filled with blood donated by Ukrainian fighters.
"Now I can't go back to Russia," he told Sky News.
He believes he would face jail for his artwork if he returns to his home country under its current laws.
"I can't go there while [Putin] still has power but I truly believe it's not possible to continue like this," he added.
"People who kill so many people and start a blood war like this… and try to brainwash… can't stay longer."
THE CONTROVERSIAL ARTIST WHO USES BLOOD AND OIL TO MAKE HIS POINT To coincide with the World Cup in Qatar last December, Andrei Molodkin unveiled a replica of the World Cup trophy that slowly filled with crude oil. It had a symbolic price of $150m – a figure that matched the amount of money allegedly spent on bribes and kickbacks to FIFA officials Last August, Molodkin presented a sculpture of the White House that reportedly contained the radioactive blood of Nagasaki-born men to commemorate the 77th anniversary of the Hiroshima and Nagasaki atomic bombs In May last year, Molodkin showcased a glass portrait of Vladimir Putin which was filled with the blood of Ukrainian soldiers. An image of the artwork was said to have been live-streamed near Moscow's Red Square as Mr Putin oversaw Russia's Victory Day parade Back in 2013, Molodkin opened an exhibition called Catholic Blood that featured an installation where he pumped blood donated solely by Catholics around his replica of the Rose Window at Westminster Abbey, which he saw as a Protestant symbol Artist Andrei Molodkin Image: Andrei Molodkin says he has been creating artwork containing human blood for more than a decade Molodkin said he has "worked with human blood for 15 years" and the sculptures he creates "represent the symbol of power", adding: "Then the people who are abused by this power, I ask them to donate blood for this".
Read more: Biggest revelations from Harry's memoir Taliban bans women from universities
Harry's comments in his book prompted criticism from senior military figures, with Admiral Lord West - the former head of the Royal Navy - reportedly calling the prince "very stupid" and warning he had increased the risk of threat against the Invictus Games.
Taliban officials called for Harry to be put on trial, with a senior leader in the group saying the militants he killed were "not chess pieces, they were humans".
Click to subscribe to the Sky News Daily wherever you get your podcasts
In response to the criticism, Harry told Late Show host Stephen Colbert it was a "dangerous lie" to say he had "somehow boasted" about the number of people he killed in Afghanistan.
The duke carried out two tours in Afghanistan during his time in the military, including one tour between 2012 and 2013 when he served as an Apache attack helicopter co-pilot gunner"

Anyone else have experience with this?
I have a 1 year old female (soon to be 2 in the fall) every dog I’ve had enjoyed simple walks in the park,
But unless my kees is hunting birds and squirrels in the forest — though has never once caught anything- wonders around aimlessly looking bored and uninterested, sometimes just standing in one place starring into the distance, this occurs even when there are dogs to play with and she in a park area.
She’s well socialized too, people use to be awestruck with how I socialized her so well when she was young but now that she’s older she will only play with dogs until she gets bored or if it’s 1 v 1, otherwise she’ll wonder around the park, stand around, starring off into the distance wishfully.
I want to be able to give her more purpose,
she is very much a working dog who enjoys working, she’s my medical alert dog and does a great job at that and coming to doctors appointments but I feel she’s looking for more of a purpose/work, I don’t think being a medical alert dog is enough work for her.
How can I make it so she feels like her walks are work? It’s still winter where I am so there’s only squirrels to chase every other day. I am located near small-medium size forest I can take her everyday and there is a dog park near me.

I'm asking because, in another thread, I was called the C word. Conservative.
I don't consider myself to be a Conservative. I'm not for book banning, or locking transpeople up, or killing those that have an abortion. Sorry to use extremes like that but these are all things that "Conservatives" here in America have either said or supported outright.
The reason why I'm asking is that I do believe that we have to go more Green. That radical measure do have to be taken, not so much for me because I'll be dead in 30 to 50 years, but for the younger generation coming up. Frankly governments and business isn't going to save your asses.
Now that being said, I have spent most of my life in Finance/Banking and Insurance. It's how I've made my living (I'm 57 now) and I am a Social Democrat.
That means that I believe in things like socialized medicine. In have a solid Social Security (Pension) system and a host of other things. In other words a "Walfare State." Sadly most Americans often don't understand the terms I'm using because they are simply not taught them. It's a sad state of affairs.
That also means that Capitalism does work, warts and all, but we have to rein it in constantly otherwise it will run over you. This is something that Adam Smith said as well but no one actually reads Adam Smith when they talk about Capitalism.
When you start to study economics you realize that nearly every country in the world has an economy of mixed Socialism and Capitalism.
Green does work, and we are seeing a divestment from Oil and Gas Companies (starving them from funds to make future investments) and an increase in funding for Solar, Wind and Geothermal. It's not happening fast enough, but it is occurring.
Sadly companies will greenwash you. Politicians will lie to you and continue to do what benefits their biggest campaign contributors.
I'm stating this because, frankly, I see a lot of leftist conversation but no clear plans or ideas on how to implement that. Not all plans will work in the same area, not all ideas will pan out. We are all here because we believe in a better future (and frankly after finding this group I'm feeling hopeful for the first time in a long time) but you need to be organized and make it happen.

I want to preface this by saying I do not recommend going cold turkey for the potential life-threatening side effects you may experience if you've been taking Seroquel at a high dose or for a long period of time. But I still did it after research and making my own educated decision about this and weighing the pros and cons, and if you're here you may be considering it as well.
I don't want to encourage anyone to go cold turkey, but I do want to share my own personal timeline to help those who are currently trying to quit cold or are thinking about it to share some things you may want to prepare to expect. I am not a healthcare professional, this is just my own experience quitting and the symptoms I had during the withdrawal period. Withdrawal will be different for everyone, so if you do quit don't expect to go through the same symptoms I did day-by-day.
Listen to your body. If the withdrawal symptoms are too severe or painful, taper instead. If you are experiencing any life-threatening conditions, suicidal thoughts, etc. go to the emergency room. I'm not a doctor, you probably aren't either, and no doctor would recommend this. Know what you're getting yourself into, do research, and prepare the best that you can before making this decision.
​
I was prescribed 100 mg of Seroquel once a day at bedtime to manage PTSD and insomnia on February 15th and stopped taking it on March 12th for a total of 25 days on it. I would not recommend going off cold turkey or without supervision of medical professionals if you take it to treat bipolar disorder or any other mental health condition, as it can make those issues much worse during the withdrawal period.
I thought that even though I was taking a relatively high dose, that because I had only taken it for a short period of time I would have minimal withdrawal symptoms. I did not want another 4 weeks of going down 25mg week by week and just decided to suck it up and deal with whatever symptoms hit me.
​
My withdrawal timeline was as follows:
NIGHT 1: Mild nausea and severe insomnia. I took a Zofran to manage nausea and literally could not keep my eyes closed. Tried a bath, tea, reading, etc. and nothing worked. No sleep that night.
DAY 1: On no sleep I was irritable and physically exhausted. Otherwise, not too bad. I had little appetite which I chalked up to insomnia and ate one meal, but had to take a Zofran immediately after because I felt sick.
NIGHT 2: No sleep again, same severity as night one if not worse. My brain could not slow down even though my body was screaming at me to sleep.
DAY 2: I tried to nap in the morning despite construction going on in my apartment building which would normally prevent me from sleeping. I got 45 minutes of sleep on and off and experienced sleep paralysis and kept waking up in cold sweats. The nausea got unbearable and Zofran no longer worked. Didn't eat.
NIGHT 3: Nausea kept me awake this time, insomnia became less severe. 2 hours of sleep.
DAY 3: Felt sick and finally crashed in the morning and slept for 13 hours. Didn't eat. Started to get allergy symptoms of running nose and full-body soreness.
NIGHT 4: Awake all night after sleeping all day, began experiencing flu-like feverish symptoms of being hot and cold. Pulled blankets up, burned up and got sweaty. Threw them off, got cold chills. Repeated every 5 minutes until I gave up on trying to sleep.
DAY 4: On very little, irregular sleep and no food and hardly any water (I'd lost the energy to drink anything and my partner was basically having to beg me to drink water every few hours) I was exhausted. The brain fog I felt from the medicine was still heavy and now my body was exhausted too. I couldn't do anything but stare blankly at the TV without actually absorbing any information. Nausea still had not gotten ANY better but Zofran was no longer managing it.
NIGHT 5: 3 hours of irregular, restless sleep. Back on a loop of "no sleep, crash, no sleep"
DAY 5: Brain fog got worse, partner got very worried for me because I was unresponsive, not eating, not sleeping, and just staring off at nothing all day. Started to get severe migraines that medicine didn't help. I assume this was because of brain chemistry changing after being on the medication, but could have been no sleep, no food, dehydration, etc. Took a 2 hour nap
NIGHT 6: Nausea FINALLY subsided but appetite hadn't returned. I ate a few animal crackers and drank apple juice and water. I tried to eat some grapes but they were too flavorful and made me sick so we decided to only keep me on a very bland diet. No sleep.
DAY 6: Slept all day, had a rough emotional breakdown where I cried over the medicine that was supposed to help my insomnia and fix my schedule and was distraught that it just messed it all up again. Headaches were on-and-off and bad, didn't eat but drank juice, emotional breakdown was actually a relief in a way because I hadn't really felt much or been able to muster up tears since getting on it. I felt relieved I could finally feel again.
NIGHT 7: Appetite returned! After nearly a week of no food other than a single meal and animal crackers, I was finally able to eat something. It wasn't much but helped my energy immediately and alleviated headaches some.
DAY 7: Continued to eat very small amounts of food as appetite got better. Had more energy despite no sleep and mood perked up significantly. The worst of the symptoms were over by this point. Slept 5 hours.
NIGHT 8: Slept again for 13 hours on and off, I think my body was catching up on lost sleep. Woke up with severe muscle stiffness which was personally terrible because I felt out of control of my body which is very scary for me and just wanted to cry. I couldn't lay in any position without it feeling like I was doing a wall sit with how much my hips and legs ached. A hot epsom salt bath, a new mattress pad, Advil, and Ativan helped some.
DAY 8: Emotionally exhausting day. Muscle stiffness still preventing me from getting out of bed, but I was now eating regularly. Napped on and off.
NIGHT 9: The brain fog finally cleared and it felt like I "woke up" for the first time since being on it. I don't even know how to describe it. Muscle stiffness got better, no more nausea or headaches, eating small portions but regularly. Now I was just irritated my schedule had gotten flipped.
DAY 14 (TODAY): It's actually baffling to me that I've only been off for two weeks because it feels like so much longer. Being on it really messed with my sense of time and I'm still getting my footing. My sleeping schedule has been on track for two days now after staying up and pushing a few all-nighters. I'm glad I'm off of it, but still glad I took it. It helped me manage my PTSD and paranoia, but as soon as the cons outweighed the benefits I knew it wasn't for me.
​
Do I recommend cold turkey? No. The efficiency of it will depend on who you are, your dose, the duration taken, etc. I can't recommend this to you without knowing these things and even if I did my answer would be "listen to your body, you know your limits better than I do"
Did it work for me? Absolutely. If you can manage to power through the withdrawal symptoms you will feel SO much better off of it if it's no longer working for you. Again, if you've been taking it for a longer time than me or highemore frequent doses I can't recommend it because the longer you take it/the more you take, the more likely you are to have more serious symptoms that could land you in the ER. I thought I wouldn't have more than just a headache and nausea since I took it less than a month but these symptoms still wiped me and I literally did not leave bed for an entire week.
If you have any questions about my experience or want any advice on how I managed certain symptoms, please don't hesitate to ask! Withdrawal is different for everyone, but if I can give some comfort/advice to anyone currently going through it or thinking of quitting, I will gladly.

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I really want to know the name of 2 (ambient sounds?)
I think both relate to Roanoke.
First one, starts with few guitar notes (then silence) and then follows with a 3 whistles the the guitar notes again and the silence again. (And it repeats itself like that for some minutes) Usually I hear this song when I find something, like something to inspect.
Second one, it’s a god damn single note of a cello I believe. I’m at van horn, and all the city turned against me, and that song is playing. Like ignoble plays near Roanoke, and usually when I’m in a bad situation.
It’s not even a song, it’s a single cello note that plays for 4/5 seconds, and then complete silence. After something like 20 seconds, that same cell note plays again, and this continues to play just like I said until I get out of the bad situation I’m in.
Thank you all!

I bought x2 11 in May last year during its sorta fire sale and main purpose was for the included rechargeable usi stylus because my other Lenovo stylus chewed through batteries like breakfast. Since the weak snapdragon cpu was not able to handle the daily work I need, the other finely crafted, gorgeous hardware became essentially a glorified charger.
Then I started using it as a pure tablet. There are limitations of the tablet mode, but the biggest one is the keyboard. I kept the keyboard tucked away most of the time so it doesn’t add to the bulk as a tablet, unknowingly destroyed the biggest strength of the chrome OS.
Things took a turn recently so I’m liking this little gem more and more. First, I enabled crostini and rclone copied a folder of photos on that vm. If you’ve used crostini to any stretch you will understand it must have the keyboard to function properly. Second, I started using Bitwarden and now all my passwords are in one place so I don’t have to worry about different chrome profiles just for the passwords, which is a huge relief (don’t know why I didn’t do this sooner). All these combined is now x2 11 feels more capable and more useful.
Another beauty here is the 4:3 ratio. When playing long videos, I prefer to set up the portrait split screen mode so my video is on the top and what I can read (such as Reddit) is on the button. The 4:3 ratio gives me a big video screen and also a big window to browse. On my other chromebook 14c, because of its bulk, it’s very difficult to do that in portrait. If I do it in landscape split screen, the video is about the same size compared to 11 x2 despite a much larger display and much larger heft.
Of course nothing is perfect. The cpu is still weak no matter how I dress it and the keyboard is far from lapable but useable occasionally for a few key strokes if I’m in the couch. However it’s a lot more useful than what I made it to be and I’m happy:)