hello,
I've had my own struggles with alcohol, but not to the point of addiction. it's been important to me to have a partner who is sober. I've been with my current partner for a little over one year now. I love him dearly and we are working to build a life together.
He is an addict and told me this upfront within the first week of dating. he's been clean from opiates for 9 years (he was addicted as a young teen) and takes suboxone daily.
his current addiction is alcohol. he has battled with it on and off the past 3 years when the addiction kicked in and had a seizure from withdrawals 2 years ago. I didn't really know the extent of his alcohol dependency until he told me several months into the relationship that he started drinking more regularly and was hiding it from me. i was taken aback and more concerned with his wellbeing than anything else.
he tried remaining sober. 3 months ago i stopped by his place when he was at work and found some beer cans. he claimed it was a friend's who came over. I don't believe it to be honest but decided to move past that unless something comes to light or I can't handle the chaos.
last week I was supposed to come over. I walked in his house and he had passed out, he had been drinking and the cans were out. after things calmed down he told me he relapsed because he went to a really dark place due to his baby mama keeping his son from seeing him.
we talked for hours about his triggers and he shared how he doesn't love him self or have self worth. he revealed that when he first told me about how he was hiding alcohol/drinking from me that he stopped because he wanted to be sober for me because he was terrified I would leave him. we discussed how doing it for me is not a stable enough reason and he needs to identify strong enough reasons to stop for himself.
we came to the conclusion that we should take a break for some time. he sees it as a test for himself to be sober without me around. we haven't yet talked about all the logistics of the break. we talked how I could join him for AA meetings (I don't want to completely cut him out, he has no friends and no strong enough support system so I'm so scared he will be alone). we talked about how he should get therapy and take actionable steps to start addressing his low self worth.
but I need help. I'm scared, lost and confused. Has anyone successfully taken a break like this before? what questions and boundaries should we be thinking about? how long did you take a break for? what measures did you use to see if the relationship could be resumed? what presence did you maintain in your partner's life during the break?
thanks in advance. this fucking sucks and I just want him to feel good about himself and see himself for the amazing person he is. I know he can keep his demons at bay, he's done it before. but I know I have no control over this ultimately...

Good day/night, i hope you are doing well and are enjoying today!
I am Rez for short or Rezerer in full and usually go by those online. I will give out my real name once we talk some more and get to know eachother.
Games i like and play:
I am a huge fan of games, especially the ones like Stardew valley, Sun haven, Minecraft, Terraria, Overcooked (and i desperately want to play it takes two) There are many others i play and like, for instance: League of legends, Valorant, Gears of war, Total war series and many many more.
Other interests:
Besides games i work full time, i can cook and have done so in the past for myself and my parents/siblings. Not too long ago i started reading the entries and extensive archive of the SCP'S and the SCP foundation, so if you know about them or read them that would be huge! I play DnD (dungeons and dragons) with a group every other Saturday, we get together physically to play the game too. Other interests are mixed, i like to talk about the workings of everyday things like how the world keeps turning. What gravity is and how it works, what came first the egg or the chicken. Science facts are always interesting in my opinion and i like to have conversations about a wide variety of topics. However i usually am a shy person so i might have trouble just talking about those things at first.
My appearance:
I don't really share pictures for everyone. If i feel we click i will send a picture for sure so don't worry :) I am a 6"4' or 195cm tall guy, i have mostly grey eyes but sometimes in the right light there can be a green or brown shade too. I have brown hair, usually also a beard but i cut it recently. I can pictures both before and after cutting my beard. I am healthy and maybe on the heavy side, but you know food just is too tasty 😋
Preferences / What i am looking for:
I am looking for a girl who loves to play games and ideally the same ones as me but that's not a necessity. Looks wise i don't have a preference, i do look past the cover to see who is behind it. I really enjoy a person's personality, i have never felt repulsed or otherwise had a negative feeling from looks. <3 I really like to spend time together online, playing games, watching a movie, doing our own thing while in a vc, i really enjoy all of those. I can be clingy, so be prepared for a decent amount of messages daily. I love to send gifs and other messages about hugging and cuddling so you must be okay with that. Last but not least i want us to build something rather genuine, trusting one another and supporting each other. Communicating is very important for me and i hope it is for you too.
Extra:
I still live with my parents but i am saving up for my own place, if needed i can move out in a short amount of time. I am a virgin, however i have done sexting with my ex before. In the future i would love to have kids with my partner, at least 1 kid but i don't mind more.
Ending:
Have you seen anything that interests you do you want to talk more feel free to dm me! If you are shy too you can always start with an answer to this question: what would an ideal evening with your partner look like?
You can always contact me on discord too Rezerer200#6268

Almost 9 months into my sobriety. I hate to be that person that is rainbows and butterflies, but damn I still feel like I am on my pink cloud. I honestly wake up every day just grateful to be alive. I am currently in work release, serving 4 months for my 3rd DUI which lead to my rock bottom in September, but I still find things to be grateful for. I know it's difficult at times, and I'm not saying I don't have bad days. But any bad day I have sober, is wayyyy better than any day I spent drinking. I won't lie, I still have thoughts of drinking. I've been writing a lot and reflecting on all of the bad shit I did when I was drinking and found myself oddly wanting a bottle. But the difference between now and then, is that I don't let that thought consume me. I went to rehab, I did the therapy, I'm active in AA. And all I know is that it is way better together, than suffering alone. Connection is the opposite of addiction. So I'm gonna ride this pink cloud as long as I can because I love my sober life where it is right now.
​
I just want to be here to tell anyone struggling, that it does get better and it doesn't have to be like that forever. Thinking and praying for everyone out there. I respect the shit out of each and every one of you. <3

Hi everyone.
To Kill a Predator is a work of fan fiction set in the Nature of Predators universe originally created by SpacePaladin15 whose Patreon you should subscribe to.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. Depiction does not equal endorsement.
Hope you enjoy it!
[First] [Previous]
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Memory transcription subject: Thiva, Venlil Civilian
Date [standardized human time]: December 6th, 2136
​
Thank the Protector for Vilek.
She had stepped up in every possible way. She coached me on the right answers to give to the assessors. She worked with a Krakotl named Jarkim to keep the Exterminator’s office at bay. And she took care of answering questions from a reporter named Sharnet that reached out to me since both the humans who contacted her, mister Sinclair and Martin, had fallen prey to the Liberators.
This was the paw where I got to leave the hospital. My injuries were actually quite minor (or so they claimed), but they had kept me under observation for several paws to see if I’d display Predator Disease after everything that happened. There was a real risk that after all that, after what Martin sacrificed for me, I’d just end up in a Facility.
At first I thought I probably should be. I was happy that Renak was dead, and I wanted Vansi to die too. For the first couple of paws just thinking about being tied in that chair with Renak whistling and leaning over me with his knife and claws and teeth… it made me shake and scream, once even until I soiled myself.
Thinking about what Vansi had done to Martin made me shriek with anger and throw things and tear curtains. Vilek had stayed by my side though, and helped cover up the incidents each time. Without her I’d be in a Facility for sure.
Then she got me in contact with a human assessor over video calls, a man named doctor Johan Eriksson with ice-blue eyes and a lot of yellow fur all over his face. And just as Martin had promised, Johan was aghast at hearing about the Federation’s treatment of Predator Disease. Johan promised me that my feelings were entirely normal, and that he’d help me work through everything.
​
I’ve had three calls with him since then, and while every one of them ended with me in tears I always felt better afterwards. He was teaching me a system called ‘Mindfulness’. By examining my own emotions and surroundings in a neutral way, it was possible for me to significantly reduce the symptoms! And it was working, it really was. I was more able to manage my emotions. I could recognize when the world was fading into a furious orange or horrid gray, and pull myself back from the brink.
And he said there were other coping strategies to use too, that he’d be providing me with all the tools I needed to grow myself like a garden: Pruning the bad parts, watering the good, and planting the seeds of the sort of person I wanted to grow into.
The humans love their metaphors! But this one was rather beautiful, so I didn’t mind. I quite liked to imagine myself as a garden! But not the ones on Venlil Prime. One of the ones on Earth. Johan had showed me pictures. So full of different colors, dozens of types of insects, so many birds… an explosion of life and color and joy!
That’s the kind of garden I wanted to be. Someday.
​
Coming back home was tough. Not just because I had to pick between being woozy from painkillers or aching with all the little motions of daily life (I had settled on being woozy), but also because of all the little reminders.
Vilek had pressured the landlord into replacing the front door, but the new color reminded me of the break-in. The door to Martin’s room was entirely absent. Martin was entirely absent.
I didn’t feel safe sleeping in my bed. Vilek let me share hers. I woke up crying and feeling her claws stroking through my fur to comfort me.
I was grateful, truly grateful, for my friend. But she wasn’t the one I wanted to hold me.
A claw later I screamed when the pad rang for a phone call, and had to sit and do my mindfulness exercises while Vilek answered it.
She hung up in a hurry and rushed over to me and grasped my paw. “Thiva, we have to get to the hospital! Right now!”
​
---
​
Memory transcription subject: Martin Russo, Human Refugee
Date [standardized human time]: December 11th, 2136
​
I am in more pain than at any other point in my entire life.
Every single part of my being hurts on a level so deep I can feel it in my soul, and I don’t even believe those exist.
My tears are flowing freely and shamelessly. My mouth is open and my drool tastes alkaline, my throat trying to shield itself from the vomit that’s threatening to flow forth.
Taking a single step requires more willpower than I can even wrap my head around. Every single muscle has to be tensed manually, my brain simply refuses to pass the ‘walk’ signal to the body. My shaking limbs move in slow motion, like wading through thick non-Newtonian fluid. Like an arthritic, decrepit old man.
And always that voice. That fucking voice. That fucking voice I need to shut it up I hate you I hate you so much I hate you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you
​
“Good job, Martin! One more step, c’mon, you can do it! Gold star!”
“fuck you… fuck you… fuck you… fuck you…” The mantra helps me manage the last step, before I collapse. First to my knees, then down to my hands. Then onto my face, on the soft and spongy floor.
Chasa, my Zurulian arch-nemesis, pads over to me fearlessly and sits down. She licks a paw before stroking it through my hair, giving me a cowlick. “Great job! I can tell you’ve been doing your exercises! Good boy!”
I can’t move my limbs right now. “hate you. hate you so much.”
She pads over to a small teddy bear-sized table and holds up my medical file. She’s had it printed out on actual paper with an actual manila folder, just for this purpose. “That’s fine! You don’t hate the gold star, though, do you?”
“…that’s for children…”
“Oh, so you don’t want it?”
I growl as menacingly as I can. It’s not particularly impressive. She holds up the little gold star sticker and wags it at me, before placing it on my file. She doesn’t seem particularly afraid of me. Though to be fair, even though she weighs maybe 20 kilos soaking wet she could probably take me in a fight.
Chasa looked up human physical therapy before taking on my case, and apparently learned about this incentive system… someplace. Each session she gives me a gold star if I manage to go above and beyond. I hate it. It’s infantilizing, condescending, and juvenile. And it works. I want the gold star. This is my fifth fucking physical therapy session and I want my fifth fucking gold star. It’s the least she can do after she makes me torture myself.
“Fantastic work! Alright, so after third-meal I want you to try and walk around your bed. Back and forth, as many times as you can. And remember to rotate your arm!”
“ah, i see. you hate me too.”
Chasa looks immensely happy and pleased as a couple of Venlil nurses get me onto a too-small gurney. She takes a little sugar and salt treat from a bowl for cubs or pups or whatever, and walks over to place it in my lap. “See you next paw, Martin!”
I will find a way to pay her back for this.
​
I woke up around five or six paws ago with tubes in every orifice on my body, and was very surprised to find myself alive.
The full story only came later. Slavik and Jarkim had taken out one of the Liberators, but Jarkim had gotten badly wounded as a result. As soon as they had dumped Jarkim back at the truck, Slavik double-timed it to the house. They passed Thiva and Mosun on the way, and managed to arrive in time to stop Vansi from setting me on fire. By shooting her.
Not that that would’ve mattered, considering my massive blood loss and organ damage and being stuck out in the middle of Fuckoff Nowheresota.
The fact that there was a UN army base about two dozen miles away saved me, as their helicopters showed up to take over the scene and haul all the injured to the hospital. The medics were able to get to me within the Golden Hour. Though considering the extent of my injuries it was apparently closer to the Golden Ten Minutes.
Since then I had been in a medically induced coma while the hospital grew replacements for just about every single one of my organs. To hear tell of it, I’d have had no chance long-term without the Zurulians’ almost unfathomably advanced technology. The alien teddy bears were able to salvage my broken body, even though it’s likely that my left leg, left arm, and right hand will never be the same again.
And now I get to torture myself back to health. Oh joy.
​
My lambchops have been showing up every day or paw or whatever for visiting hours, and staying each time until they’re chased out by the nurses.
Each time I see them enter my room it feels better than a shot of whatever the aliens use instead of morphine; the sight of them together and safe lifts my spirits and puts a smile on my face.
We spend most of our time watching movies or TV shows on the pad, while they take turns holding my hand or stroking my head. I pet them back as much as I can, but for now both that and talking for any length of time are too draining.
They’ve been showing me some of the classic works of the Venlil. I’ve been showing them classics of humanity.
“Hey Blondie! You know what you are?! Just a dirty sonofa-” Aaa-aa-aaaaa!
The lambchops whistle with joyful laughter, releasing the tension of the long finale of the finest Western of all time.
Thiva sighs with relief. “Oh Protector, I really thought he was going to kill Tuco!”
“No way, he’s ‘The good’ of the title! And it was a call-back to the first part of the film where he kept shooting him down, there’s no way they wouldn’t take the opportunity to tie it all together!”
“Yeah, I guess… Is that seriously what humans considered ‘good’ back then?”
I interject. “You could argue that Blondie is supposed to be ‘the good’, but he’s really more like the ‘least bad’. The people making the movie were living under a dictatorship, so a lot of films from the nation of Spain around that time were made from a very cynical point of view.”
Thiva leans against me and runs her claws through my hair, making me shiver. “You haven’t been showing us a lot of movies with war in them, but they’re apparently pretty common for humans?”
I give a nod. “Yes. We’ve always had a complex relationship with war and violence. You might’ve noticed that this movie took a very somber perspective, largely viewing the war as pointless. While it was a controversial conflict in the past, nowadays the common view of the US civil war is that it was a necessary conflict to end the evils of chattel slavery.”
Vilek is silent for a short bit. “So like Blondie, violence isn’t necessarily good, but sometimes it’s the least bad.”
“Oh, I like that. That’s clever.”
She wags her tail. “Alright, what’s next on the list?”
“Next… I do my exercises, before I get too tired. Can you girls help me get into the leg brace? Can’t walk at all without the damn thing.”
​
They help manhandle me into a standing position and latch the leg brace, and I can start my agonizingly slow and agonizingly agonizing journey around the bed and back again.
To keep my mind off of the pain, and because I can’t loudly curse my beloved lambchops out like I can my arch-nemesis Chasa, I try to talk instead. “S-So… I’ve been looking into… human universities… that’ll take both of you… and ideally… transfer your… credits…”
Vilek wags encouragingly, and helps support me on my slow journey. “That’s great! We can all head to Earth instead and I can become a human assess-no, therapist!”
Thiva sighs. “Honestly, I like the sound of that. I feel safer around humans than around Venlil at this point.”
“Great… I’ll let you know… once I hear back…” Shit that topic didn’t last long. Okay what else what else “How’s that… trial thing… coming along…?”
Thiva grumbles. “The Liberators plead guilty today… including Vansi, who was being tried as a member of the group.” She had survived, but Slavik’s plasma rifle had seared her arm off at the shoulder.
“No media’s being allowed in the courtroom, to ensure they don’t get an audience for their views. The sentence hasn’t come down yet but it looks like none of them are going to feel the free breeze again for as long as they live.”
“Can’t say… I feel bad…”
“It’s too good for them!”
“The state… shouldn’t get… to do worse… than imprison… fuck, I’m done, please help.” My leg gives out and I’m left to cling to the bed frame until the girls intervene.
They help me back onto the bed before Vilek speaks. “…Even someone like Kalsim?”
​
I nod, sweat covering my body in a thin sheen. I take a deep drink of water and wait a few moments before answering. “Yeah… Kalsim’s not a threat in a jail cell. The state has a monopoly on violence, and shouldn’t get to use it to kill people just because we’re upset at them.”
Thiva frowns. “What about justice, though? Don’t people deserve to see those that have hurt them get punished?”
I shake my head. “That’s not justice. See it like this… Why not eat him?”
The girls look disgusted. I press on. “See… If killing him as punishment is fine, then just beating him up has to be fine too. Right? That’s less bad than killing him. And torture, that’s still less bad than killing. And if killing is fine, how about killing him extra painfully like by setting him on fire? And at that point we might as well eat him. I mean, why not?”
Thiva protests. “Because… Because that’s barbaric! You humans don’t eat sapients, you all say so!”
I nod firmly. “Yeah, exactly. Because it is barbaric. State punishment is just barbarism, just sadism to make the worst part of us feel better. Once we agree that it’s acceptable to do that to anyone, all we’re doing is haggling over price. There was a human philosopher named Nietzsche. He said ‘Beware of those in whom the urge to punish is strong’, and I think that’s the sort of thing he meant. Not just to beware of people in power who seek out punishment for people they have power over, but… to beware that part of ourselves.”
The girls are silent for a moment. I take a slow drink of water and speak more, even though it’s really tiring by now. But this is important.
“Listen, Vilek… When you study to become a therapist, please keep something in mind. Predator Disease doesn’t exist. Not even Renak had Predator Disease.”
Vilek frowns confusedly and bursts out. “What?! But you said he was a ‘textbook psychopath’! You said he was a monster who didn’t feel empathy! You said so yourself!”
“Yes, I did. But in human society… the majority of people with that condition are not actually more dangerous than anyone else. Because they can be taught coping mechanisms, by therapists, to fit into society. Renak was a monster because Venlil society, and Vansi, failed him.”
Thiva protests. “But…”
I shake my head. “Nobody is born a monster. And even in cases where people are truly unsalvageable for whatever reason… what’s the point in punishing them for it? Thiva, I didn’t shoot your brother because he was a psychopath. I shot him to keep you safe. Slavik didn’t shoot your mother because she was an abuser, they shot her because she was about to set me on fire. If someone shot Kalsim at this point… how would that make anyone safer?”
I sigh and take another slow drink of water. “...Christ, I do not have the energy for this heavy stuff right now. Next film, girls, what’ll it be?”
They start bickering, apparently as happy to be distracted from the topic as I am. Every time it’s their turn to pick they end up fighting over it, you’d think they’d make a list ahead of time instead. “Flower-bird Red!” “Fainting for You!” “Garden in the Stars!” “Okay, yeah, that’s good. Remake or original?” “Original, obviously!” “But the remake-” “We can just show him both!” “Okay, deal!”
I don’t end up remembering a blessed thing about the film. With the girls cuddled up to me on the Mazic-size bed I’ve been given for use since they apparently lacked human-size ones, I fall asleep by the end of the opening credits.
​
Date [standardized human time]: December 14th, 2136
​
“Hey human, you got visitors.” The nurse informs me. I glance at the clock on my pad, which I had set to count down to the lambchops’ daily visit. Still half a claw out.
Instead of my cherished friends, I see two other people step into the room. A Venlil, and Robert McGinley.
“…Hey Bob. You’ll forgive me if I don’t get up.” I jest from the hospital bed. McGinley doesn’t seem to find it amusing.
“Russo.”
“I’ve been waiting for you to show up, to be honest. Who’s your friend?”
“District Magister Vaska. Russo, we need you to sign-”
“Fuck off, McGinley.”
“If you don’t sign these documents, your refugee status can be rescinded.”
“No it can’t. Literally, there’s a list of reasons I can have my refugee status taken away, and ‘not signing hush documents’ isn’t on the list.”
McGinley gives me a tiny smile. On his blank face that might as well be an ear-to-ear grin. “But it can be if you’ve been charged with a crime in the host sovereignty.”
I nod. “Yeah, that is true. I don’t even need to be convicted.”
“So-”
“So I haven’t been charged with anything yet. And if I had to guess, I’m not going to be.”
McGinley scowls. Vaska scowls beside him too.
​
I continue. Talking is a bit tiring, but not as bad as it was just a few days ago. “Because if I’m charged with a crime, I’ll need to take the witness stand. And I can have ex-officer Jarkim take the stand. And you don’t want that. Because the raid on the Liberators’ compound here in Greenmeadow was ‘a heroic joint operation between the UN and the Exterminators’ office, approved by Governor Tarva herself’.”
Now Vaska speaks up. His voice is trembling with anger. “A stunt that you forced us to engage in! I had to call the governor on the emergency line to get approval for it! A UN military operation on sovereign Venlil soil!”
“I’m not going to apologize for making you do your fucking job.”
McGinley takes a step forward. I don’t bother to flinch back, since I can’t exactly run anywhere anyway. Instead I just look up at him passively and wait for him to say something. “It’s in your best interests to play nice, Russo.”
“Because that worked out so well for both of us last time. Remember ‘An inferno of incredible horror’? Pretty great article, really. ‘The Liberators Unveiled: Terror and death in Greenmeadow’ was killer too. Do you really want to go for a third, about what really happened to VP’s little homegrown terrorist cell that was literally funded with the salaries of the Exterminators in it?”
The ‘Liberators Unveiled’ article had run while I was comatose, revealing the full truth of the shelter arson and the identities of the Liberators involved. However, it had neither contradicted nor reaffirmed the official government narrative about the ‘joint operation’ that took the bastards down.
McGinley is practically snarling now, putting both hands on my hospital bed and making it shake a bit. I wince with pain, while he raises his voice for the first time in either of my meetings with the man. “You can’t be allowed to just run around doing whatever you want. There have to be consequences for your actions, Russo!”
I nod solemnly. “I agree. That’s what the law is for. So charge me with a crime, or fuck off.”
He shakes the bed slightly. There’s a few beeps from some of the machinery monitoring me and making sure I’m still alive. Vaska looks a bit taken aback. “You nearly ruined the whole investigation; you almost destabilized the relationship between humanity and the Venlil!”
I take a steadying breath. He’s being overly dramatic. “So charge me with a crime, or fuck off.”
McGinley snarls and slams a bundle of papers down on the bedside table. “I’m offering you a chance to change your mind.”
I glance at the papers, then lift them up with more effort than I’d like to admit and drop them directly into the waste bin.
I wave my hand, tired of this pointless farce. “No, seriously. Fuck off, McGinley. Magister, a word of advice. If you want my silence, try offering some hush money next time. Us humans are a lot more partial to bribes than to threats.”
They storm out.
Guess I won’t be going to jail. The rest of the posse will be fine too, then.
I lean back and sigh and try to take a nap. I don’t want to still be pissed off when the lambchops show up. I have something important to show them.
Some of the universities I’ve reached out to have answered back.
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[First] [Previous]

I hate that I love porn. I know its just a chemical response in my brain from learned behaviors and 20+ years of near daily habit. But I have always looked forward to alone time with pixels on a screen.
I've tried to break free from porn a few times over the years. I don't want to count streaks. I'm choosing a life a part from porn, so counting the days isn't helpful for me. I am becoming a new person. I am someone who doesn't use porn.
I'm trying to visualize life without it:

• Better and more mindful in-person sexual experiences with my wife
• Small but meaningful cost savings from cam sites
• Less reliance on the digital world for fulfillment
• Healthier relationships with women who aren't sexual partners

I'm burnt out in a lot of ways in my life and porn has always been my comfort. Like many of us here, I have favorite videos, IG accounts or cam models. I turn to them when life gets hard or my wife isn't in the mood. Or when I'm feeling shitty about myself and I can pay a cam girl to lie to me for 3.99 a minute.
I feel like shit today and I just don't want to turn to porn any more.

Disclaimer:

• This is not a short story and will require around 5-8 min of reading time
• Architecture and urban planning industry is toxic in general in China, not sure if it is the case anywhere else
• The purpose of this sharing is to contribute as a real life data point as an INTJ struggling for years and eventually achieved what they wanted.

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In 2009, I enrolled in the School of Urban Planning at a renowned university in China. At that time, the architecture industry in China was flourishing due to various economic stimuli. Looking back, I realize that choosing architecture as my major was a decision based on conformity rather than careful consideration.
The undergraduate curriculum at the School of Architecture followed a structured approach, with specialization in the last two years. As a science student in high school, the initial years of my undergraduate experience were challenging and unfamiliar. The core focus of the major seemed to revolve around meeting the aesthetic preferences of the teachers through repetitive assignments. I remember spending long hours during holidays working on technical drawings. At that time, I believed it was necessary for becoming a master in the field. Reflecting on this now, it brings a sense of disappointment.
It was during my junior year that I realized my lack of talent and interest in designing buildings, leading me to shift my focus to urban planning. Urban planning appeared to offer a higher level of rationality compared to architecture. While architecture seemed to be more focused on fashion and art, urban planning retained elements of science and engineering. However, two years of undergraduate urban planning studies were inadequate in addressing complex urban problems and making a tangible impact.
In 2014, I decided to pursue a master's degree in urban and rural planning at the same university. During my graduate studies, I unexpectedly came across programming as part of a project requirement. This accidental encounter became a significant turning point in my journey. I realized that programming was not just a tool but also required a systematic understanding of computer science. Simultaneously, my studies in urban planning theory made me recognize the inherent limitations of the discipline in solving urban problems. This realization brought me immense pain and anxiety, as I felt that my academic experience had been somewhat wasted.
Due to various circumstances, dropping out of school was not a viable option. So, I persevered in completing coursework that seemed irrelevant to me, worked on projects in which I had lost interest, and dedicated my spare time to self-studying computer science and mathematics courses. This period was intellectually stimulating, contrasting with the previous monotony of architecture. However, it also presented its own challenges, making it no surprise that I was diagnosed with moderate depression. There were moments when I secluded myself in a small room at the library while others celebrated graduation, feeling like a person trapped in darkness unable to face the light.
Fortunately, my graduate advisor's year-long visit abroad provided me with complete freedom during my second year. This newfound freedom continued until the end of my graduate studies. Taking advantage of this opportunity, I utilized online resources to self-study various computer science and mathematics courses. Notably, as my English proficiency improved, I prepared to apply for a second master's degree in computer science, achieving a good score in language proficiency without any prior preparation.
In 2017, I began studying in the Department of Electronic and Computing Engineering at a university in Hong Kong. From 2017 to 2019, my daily routine primarily revolved around attending classes, studying in the library, and living in a small single-room dwelling. While some may find this lifestyle dull, I found happiness in studying a subject I loved without having to struggle for time. During my time in Hong Kong, I deepened my knowledge in computer science and had the opportunity to work in data mining-related positions through a connection made by my advisor.
Joining a large consumer goods company and a prominent e-commerce platform undoubtedly acted as boosters for my personal career. Here, I met many exceptional individuals and developed lasting relationships. One day, after a meeting with clients, I realized that I had successfully transitioned away from architecture and there was no longer any possibility of going back. It took me several years to break free from the pull of architecture. Throughout those years, I constantly made plans, achieved goals, refined my direction, and planned again, ultimately reaping the rewards.
In late 2022, during a month-long home lockdown due to the worsening COVID-19 situation, I reflected deeply. I questioned whether working in a foreign company, which emphasizes the well-being of its employees, would be an opportunity to live abroad directly. At this time, a headhunter reached out to me. Eventually, I received a promising offer and relocated to Tokyo, Japan in January 2023.
Prior to my arrival in Japan, I had heard about the demanding work culture. However, luck seemed to be on my side, as the company and department I joined had a reasonable work intensity. The degree of humanization was even better than my previous experience. Although the average working hours in Japan were lower than in my home country, I still found myself in a position where I had more time, less workload, and a shorter commute. I occasionally kept in touch with my undergraduate classmates, realizing that if I hadn't changed careers, I would have been working late nights and weekends like many of them.
Some may perceive the turning points in my career transition as "lucky breaks," as if good job opportunities just fell into my lap without any effort. However, behind this apparent fortune lies the harsh reality of the job market. For fresh graduates, securing a job often involves countless interviews, and landing an ideal offer is a cause for celebration. However, experienced professionals in the workplace often lose their drive to actively seek new job opportunities. To advance in their careers, professionals either climb the corporate ladder or rely on headhunting and networking to switch jobs. Instead of spending a short time mass-applying for jobs, professionals need to accumulate work experience and build their professional reputation in their field. This transition requires a shift from merely seeking job opportunities to establishing a personal brand. Moreover, being headhunted does not exempt one from the interview process. Companies have high expectations from headhunted candidates, assuming they can solve problems in their respective fields. Consequently, the interview process for experienced professionals is often more challenging than for fresh graduates.
During my time in Japan, before officially starting work, I embarked on solo travels, visiting several major cities and Hokkaido. Solo travel provided moments of introspection. I want to emphasize that my experiences are not intended to devalue the field of architecture. I believe that every discipline and industry has its own ecosystem and rules. What I advocate is the importance of having the courage to make choices, to pursue work that brings fulfillment, and to shape the life one desires.
I am grateful to my younger self from ten years ago for questioning architecture and taking the necessary steps to explore new paths. During my battle with depression, I didn't give up but instead learned new skills to divert my focus. Through perseverance, even the most challenging efforts can become a source of unexpected strength.
To conclude, I'll quote a famous line from a TV series:
"Poor is not bad, but if given the chance, I choose to be rich every time."
"Architecture isn't that bad, but if given the chance to choose again, I would choose to change careers every time."

Hey hackintosh! This is my first post here, but honestly, I've spent the better of a couple months right here, at this subreddit. I've just started typing out my kinda disappointing hackintoshing journey and I can honestly already tell this could be a long one, feel free to scroll or click off if you wanna do something better than listening a cringy 17 year old ranting about how his computer won't work lmao.
This all started around 6 months ago, when I really looked into macos, I used to be part of the group that stays happy with their cute little linux install and customised the hell out of it. Then one day, I decided out of nowhere that I'm gonna somehow install macos. With an 8th gen i3 acer laptop with integrated graphics, that didn't seem way out of the question, sadly the laptop wasn't well known at the time, nor did it have extra slots for other drives, so it was just me and my linux drive, that's when I came across the MacOS docker project. With a lot, lot of troubleshooting, I could get it running - for 10 minutes, when it crashed, it obviously wasn't made for my system to handle on a VM.
I felt... really sad? but not in a "I failed a test and idk what to do sad", more like, "I lost at the 8th mario bros world sad". Even though I failed at it, it ignited a flame... to try to run and daily drive macos, or at least... try to, as a student, I couldn't get a new machine at the time, and just had to make do with what I have. That was, until a week ago.
I, out of nowhere, was given a Thinkpad t440p, I was honestly extremely happy, I knew this i7 4th gen machine could easily handle macos, also being a T series thinkpad, it's extremely well documented... oh the install would go so smoothly... They say people grow daily, sometimes, you look down upon or cringe at the version of yourself that did some stupid things a week, or sometimes even a day ago, I'm still feeling that writing this.
I had a hard drive, for data and an SSD with my windows install inside my machine, just thinking of trying it out, I thought of trying to installing it on the hard drive. A quick google search showed me an extremely well documented guide for hackintoshing thinkpad t440p, I was quite content, the instructions were clear and nice, installed macos big sur via the command prompt, pasted the efi file, modified some values and boom, in no time, I had an apple recovery booted up, clicked on diskpart and- what? the hard drive shows up, but it just doesn't format, every possible (but very limited) search result.... did nothing, "Hey! Maybe it's a big sur problem", after around 30 mins, I had a file with catalina! The formatting still didn't work. I was out of luck, so I thought...
I managed to find an old SSD, hey! that could work, I put it in the machine, and it formats first try! Brilliant! I click on the inviting "Install MacOS Catalina" button, and broke the apple TOS (sorry tim), and got to the "2 hour and 30 min remaining" welp, this will take a while, but it seems worth it... 4 hours later? it's stuck on the installer, 1/3rd of the way, saying 1 minute remaining.... Kinda irritating, reddit says to just wait overnight... sure I can do that I wake up, and first thing I see is the one minute remaining screen. sighs "maybe time works differently in apple world" I rebooted, and 3 hours later, we're still at the one minute remaining mark.
"Hey! Maybe it's a catalina problem" I spent 30 mins, changing up files and switching them up for big sur, loaded in 4 hours later.... it still says 1 minute remaining... alright, this is getting kinda irritating now...
With an extra bit of research, I managed to find another project for t440p hackintoshes only big sur this time, fine.. It doesn't have the wifi card support
I tried all these configurations with flashing my ssd with different file formats and.. Wait what!? the Catalina install finally finished properly!? It just has to reboot... There was no boot through disk option on clover... just noname.dmg
well, this is just great... I didn't get lucky enough to do that another time. I tried switching on the flag for unsupported drives, and nope, still the same problem Earlier today, I tried installing big sur and catalina with just one stick of ram and my windows drive out since that sometimes apparently helps? I personally had no luck.
Now... I personally think I've hit the grand roadblock, and I'm extremely sure it's probably just one little, stupid mistake causing it all. I've scoured through reddit and github, even followed yt tutorials step by step, but honestly, no luck, maybe if you lose in mario bros enough times... you do end up rage quitting.
Wow, can't believe you made to the end of this rant/ shitpost, I'm sorry if I sound annoying or weird but I really needed to vent this entire process out somewhere lmao, I probably won't touch trying to install macos anyime soon, but knowing myself, I'll honestly come around it. Thanks for reading :) For the big brain troubleshooters out here raging at me only mentioning generic names of my stuff, here's the exact configuration of my thinkpad and my config.plist :) Device name: Thinkpad t440p Processor: Intel i7-4710MQ Graphics: Intel HD Graphics 4600 SSD: Zebronics ZEB-SD13 128 gb RAM: 8GB DDR3 Wifi and bluetooth: Intel Wireless-N 7260 Link to config.plist

Hey guys, spur of the moment post. I noticed something when looking at tea websites, and that is some English websites are starting to stock Taiwanese competition teas. Unfortunately some seem to correlate "competition tea" with "very expensive tea." This is simply not the case, and I wanted to share this post to point out this problem... and to share a Chinese-language website (that can be easily Google translated) that people can buy competition baozhong tea from, for the price it should be sold at.
So I was checking out Taiwan Tea Craft today since someone else made a post about their Dayuling tea that caught my eye. I noticed they were selling this competition graded tea:
https://www.taiwanteacrafts.com/product/2022-winter-competition-wenshan-bao-zhong-tea-finalist-grade/?v=3d9975706be3
According to their picture, the tea is a 優良獎 (Fine Grade, or as Taiwan Tea Craft translated it: Finalist Grade) winner of Pinglin Farmer's Association Baozhong 2022 (ROC Year 111) winter competition. What impressed me was Taiwan Tea Craft's transparency in their listing. They took a picture of the product code, which is important for competition tea as people can find the producer through the product code. Taiwan Tea Craft mentioned the competition tea was from a Mr. Ong, so I checked the code on Pinglin Farmer's Association's website to see who this Mr. Ong is. The code (0186) and the name can be found here:
https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=8458718600837003&set=pcb.8458721244170072
According to Pinglin Farmer's Association's information, Mr. Ong is 翁萬 (翁 in Taiwanese is pronounced Ong). It's nice to see Taiwan Tea Craft is open about who their producer is. Googling 翁萬 shows that it's a pretty well respected producer, who has recieved multiple certifications from the farmer's association.
While Taiwan Tea Craft excelled in their transparency, they unfortunately sell their tea with a hefty "laowai tax" (a colloquial term for vastly upcharging Taiwanese/Chinese products when advertised in English and sold only to foreigners). Taiwan Tea Craft is selling this "Fine Grade Tea" for USD$198 for 300g in competition packaging. I get it, it's a competition tea, consumers are probably more willing to buy something at a premium if it has the name "competition" in it. However, the mark up is quite large... The thing about competition teas is the farmers association actually sets the MSRP for a certain grade, and for the 優良 grade, that MSRP is 1000nt, or USD$32.59 for 300g in competition packaging. Here is the tea directly from the Farmer's Association:
https://pinglin.tpcgo.org.tw/ch60/CH2/2549/MD/MD972045.html
Now, perhaps Taiwan Tea Craft's photographed tea code is different from the tea they're selling at USD$198. It should at least be a top 特等 or 頭等1-10, which would be in the 4000-6000nt range (USD$120-200). Unfortunately, there are no Mr. Ongs (翁 or 王) listed on the the top awards page. In fact, 翁萬 only shows up for the 優良 award:
https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=8458716520837211&set=pcb.8458721244170072
There is a 王 (which could be transliterated into Ong) in the regular 頭等 page. If Taiwan Tea Craft meant that as their Mr. Ong I guess it could be reasonable, as the regular 頭等 tea is 3250nt or USD$110. But Taiwan Tea Craft's tea would have to match the Mr. 王 grade and code, which, at least in their picture, it doesn't.
If someone from Taiwan Tea Craft sees this post and wants to clarify their competition grade level and pricing, I'd be happy to delete this. But if there really is a 500% upcharge, then for those who are looking for a source for fairly priced Taiwanese competition teas, I would recommend this instead. The website can easily be run through Google Translate without any major issues:
https://www.pinglintea.com.tw/product/2022%e5%b9%b4%e6%96%87%e5%b1%b1%e5%8c%85%e7%a8%ae%e8%8c%b6%e6%af%94%e8%b3%bd%e8%8c%b6%e5%84%aa%e8%89%af%e7%8d%8e%e5%8d%8a%e6%96%a4/
This seller has a slight upcharge compared to buying from the farmer's association directly. It's base price is 1150nt, which is a 15% upcharge, but that's quite reasonable. Shipping to the States is another 800nt, so the final price would be 1950nt, or USD$63. ( EU and Canada 650nt, 700nt for the UK and Oceania. Asia 450nt, Central and South America and Africa 900nt) I'm not sure what Taiwan Tea Craft's shipping cost is, but both websites ship directly from Taiwan, so I'd imagine it would be similar. It's kind of irrelevant though, since even with free shipping their tea is USD$135 more expensive than pinglintea.com.
Hope this information can help!

Universe by U/BlueFishCake
Previous Chapter
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////
I don't look like a sad orphan! I think.
Sean was frantically looking through his extremely limited supply of "nice" clothes. Haali had reminded him that while they were proper business attire, they weren't exactly glamorous or flattering. Sean had no use for fancy clothes, so he really didn't have any. Now here he was kicking himself for not having at least one nice shirt.
He leaned over and looked at himself in the mirror and groaned, "Damnit I have no idea what I'm doing. Reflection what do I do?".
He and his reflection both shrugged, "Ugh, some use you are.".
He stuck his head back into his closet, hoping that somehow a perfect article of clothing had somehow appeared there. Coincidentally he remembered an old shirt he had "borrowed" from his dad. He hadn't noticed it before, he kept it tucked away in a box at the top of the closet and he often forgot it existed. Besides, he virtually never looked through his clothes with this level of intensity.
As he reached up to the box, he began to feel increasingly ridiculous. It was one of his dad's old shirts from his partying days back when he was a little younger than Sean. Suffice it to say, the garment could be officially qualified as "old as shit".
Sean initially took it as a joke; something to wear to 80's parties or when he just wanted to look absurd. Fashion was an ever-changing force and so much time had passed since this shirt had been woven. You could turn a lot of heads for all the wrong reasons wearing this thing. But it did have one thing going for it: it strangely reminded him of something Haali would wear.
It didn't look like his fluffy pirate shirt or anything, but it had that same "I'm here to party 'till I die look". Sean fumbled around until his hand met the box, with an odd degree of reverence he slid the box off the shelf and he sat it on his bed. He flipped the lid off with one finger and winced when he saw it again.
I forgot how outrageous this thing is...
The "Turquiose Menace" as he had come to call it, would arise once again. He held it up; he smiled, then cringed, then weakly smiled once more. He held it over himself in the mirror and tilted his head from side to side, trying to make a decision. After a few more seconds of looking, he shrugged, nodded, "It'll have to do...". He gently laid it on his bed and went to take a shower.
////////////////////////////////////////////
Haruk had been enjoying herself getting ready for tonight. She was smiling and running a brush through her hair as she hummed to herself. She had invested in a full body mirror and was enjoying the sight of herself looking so good. She was ecstatic to have an excuse to get all dressed up and look sexy. While she was quite satisfied with her appearance, she had a growing sense of dread in the back of her mind concerning Sean and Xerya.
Goddess I hope those two show up wearing something half way decent.
She stopped brushing her long hair for a moment to rotate around and check out her back side. She smiled and giggled a bit, she loved getting everything about this. She spun back around and pushed a lock of hair over her ear, she then resumed brushing her hair. As she raised the brush for another stroke, she froze.
I... I better go check on Xerya.
/////////////////////////////////////////////
Xerya wasn't used to this feeling, and she really didn't like it. She was someone who always had her shit together, and now was one of the very few times in her life where she didn't. The sliding door to her closet in her room was wide open. She had her arms outstretched, resting on the opposing sides of the closet. She had a thin sheen of stress sweat coating her face and her eyes were widened by a low grade panic attack.
Nice? What does that even mean? I think a tank top and sweat pants are nice. I know that's not what they mean, but shit, I don't really have anything to work with here!
She frantically shoved her hangers from side to side as she searched for some forgotten article of clothing. The real kick in the tits was Haali's specific ban on wearing uniforms. When she had first gotten word of their dinner date, that's exactly where her mind first went; hell, that’s what she always wore when she had to dress up. They might have been a little stiff and up tight, but it gave her a decent set of clothes that were accepted in most places.
That devious little imp had now starved her of her silver bullet for fashion. So now she was trapped in a clothesless wasteland of her own making, and she was running out of time. She was about to double down on her growing anxiety by panicking about the time but was interrupted by a knock at the door.
Several aggressive thuds on the door were followed by Haruk's voice. Her tone was a blend of teasing and legitimate concern, "Hey Xerya you alive in there? You didn't get crushed under your own tits did ya?".
Thank the goddess!
Xerya bounded over to her door, her massive jugs bouncing around with every step. She had been topless while trying to decide what to wear. She flung the door open wearing an uncharacteristically neurotic look of fear. She was greeted by the image of an irritatingly sexy and well-dressed Haruk.
At first, she thought Haruk had magically grown several inches, but then as she looked down she noticed the shoes she was wearing. A pair of high heeled sandals were strapped to her feet. She was adorned by a cobalt blue dress that clung to her hips and ass and flowed freely as it cut off just above her ankles. It accented her flat tummy and the curves of her breasts as two straps tied together behind her neck to hold the whole thing up.
She had shiny earrings on and her hair had been expertly curled and styled. Her long glossy ponytail cascaded over her left shoulder. The blue of her highlights blended with the blue of her dress...and at that point Xerya realized she was staring. At Haruk of all people.
Haruk grinned and gently slid her ponytail over her shoulder in a practiced motion, "Damn I must look good, I'm even making girls stare.".
Xerya's cheeks became tinged with blue, "I-uhh- no I wasn't!".
Haruk rolled her eyes, "Yeah ok whatever.". Her eyes then crept downward to the blue capped mountains hanging off Xerya's chest, "So uhhh", she pointed at Xerya's tits, waving her finger in a little circle, "What's going on here?".
Xerya's blush intensified, she felt vulnerable. Not because of her tits hanging out, but because she didn't have a plan. Not having a plan was not how she lived her life. "Haruk I don't know what to do! You and Sean said no uniforms and I have nothing else but my awesome comfortable clothes.".
Haruk pushed past Xerya and invaded her room while shaking her head, "My goddess...".
For such a clever and punctual person, Xerya really did live like an animal. There was clutter and random bits of clothing all over the place. Haruk spun around in place marveling at the duality of Xerya's existence, "How do you live like this?".
Xerya swung her door shut and stepped to face Haruk. She ran her hands down her cheeks, "It's worse than usual. If you can't tell, I'm sort of freaking out. What the deep do I wear? I don't know how to look good!".
Haruk didn't want to ruin her makeup, but she managed a modest face palm anyways. She chuckled lightly, "You already look good you idiot. You just need to learn how to show it!".
Xerya flailed her arms in frustration, "With what though? Look in that closet? Would you honestly allow me to wear anything in there to dinner? We both know you're going the be the self-proclaimed fashion police here.".
Haruk smiled and pointed right at Xerya's face, "And don't you forget it.".
Haruk quickly spun around and began to pick through Xerya's closet. A mere few seconds later she spun around looking like she just saw a ghost, "You're fucked.".
Xerya mirrored Haruk's terror, "...what... do I do?".
Haruk looked at her omni pad, "Well we could try to run out real fast a-".
"We don't have time!" Xerya shouted.
Haruk stood silently with her chin resting on the thumb and index finger. One of her long legs pumped rhythmically as if generating thoughts. She looked up to Xerya with a somber expression, "There's only one thing we can do then.".
Xerya was desperate, she'd try anything at this point. Sean would be arriving in a few minutes, and she was out of ideas. Her voice was full of desperation, "Whatever it is, I'll do it!".
Haruk nodded, "Come to my room, it’s up to my closet to save you.".
Haruk strode out without another word. Her mind was focused solely on the task at hand; and it was quite a task. Trying to fit Xerya into her clothes sounded impossible, but tonight they needed to accomplish exactly that.
Haruk opened Xerya's door, then her own a few seconds later. Xerya stood there looking across the hall with her hands hanging at her sides. She whispered quietly and fearfully, "But... how will I fit?".
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Sean was powerwalking his way through the corridors of the building. The black eyes of the marines were glued to him even more than usual. His shirt did not button up all the way, so he had been flashing his chest to everyone he crossed paths with. His face was burning red from all the attention.
It had been a constant stream of cat calls the whole way there. Many of the faces he recognized simply from being on the base a lot, and then there were the faces that belonged to his students. It was easy enough to ignore the strangers and run away. It was much harder to ignore Shinal stepping out of her room and staring at his chest while licking her lips.
Sean watched her nipples harden as she cooed, "You're looking... sharp today Mr. Warwick.". Sean felt obligated to say something on account of being her teacher. He smiled weakly and gave a quick, "Hi Shinal, see ya tomorrow.". He didn't even stop moving to say it. He blew past her as she leaned out her door to shamelessly stare at his ass like many others were.
Shinal pivoted back into her doorway and whispered to herself, "See you tomorrow...". She smiled up at the ceiling and disappeared back into her room.
Sean was grateful that he could see Xerya's door coming into view down the hallway. He never thought drowning in pussy could be a bad thing, until now. He laughed internally at the thought of a giant blue vagina popping out of a door somewhere and swallowing him whole like some sort of "Penis Fly-trap". He felt safer already as he gently knocked on Xerya's door.
His budding sense of safety quickly faded away as no one answered the door. That was very unlike Xerya to not stick to the plan.
I hope everything is ok. What if she's sick, or in trouble with work? That would fuck up the whole night. She better not, but she's better than that. What if something happened to her? Oh fuck maybe she's hurt... or worse!?
God damnit why does my brain always go straight to this insane shit!?
Sean looked to his right and saw several marines mingling about farther down the hall and trying very hard not to look like they were staring. Sean wanted nothing more than to disappear into Xerya's room, and now for some unknown reason he couldn't.
Fuck it, plan B.
He turned around and banged on Haruk's door in a decidedly more panicked fashion. A few seconds of insane daydreaming later and the door opened, revealing an exceptional looking Haruk.
Sean looked up extra high to meet her eyes, "Woah...".
Haruk smiled brightly and blushed, "Hi, Sean you look so...".
She bit her lip as her eyes glued themselves to his chest, "...good".
The reality of Sean's situation then dawned on Haruk. She leaned past Sean and looked into the hall; her suspicions were confirmed by the presence of the unwanted competition out there. She wrapped an arm around Sean's waist and quickly pulled him inside, "You beautiful idiot, get in here!".
Sean paced forward a bit and turned to watch Haruk push her door shut. Haruk put her hands on her hips, "You should have called one of us! You went through all that alone?".
Sean looked at the floor, "Ehh yeah, to both of those things, sorry.".
Haruk bent down and hugged Sean, "No I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be mean. I just want you to be safe.".
Sean turned and kissed her cheek as he wrapped his arms around her, "Well here I am in one piece, also, holy shit you look gorgeous!".
He broke out of her hug and stepped back to fit all of Haruk in his vision. He looked at her from head to toe, "You look so good I almost just wanna skip dinner.".
Haruk swooned, "If any of us looks good, its you! I've never seen a shirt like that. It's very se- um it looks so good on you!".
Sean laughed as he remembered how he dressed, "This thing practically came out of a time machine. It used to belong to my dad back when he was my age. I kept it just for fun, oddly enough it kind of reminded me of the shirts Haali wears.".
Haruk winked, "Well, whatever it is, it’s working.".
Sean couldn't help but to run a hand along Haruk's tight thigh, "Yeah, so is this.".
He looked up at Haruk and they swapped not so innocent smiles. Sean then membered why be was here, "So where's Xerya?".
Haruk looked to the corner of her room where her closet resided. Their rooms may not have had bathrooms in them, but they generous closets. She gently and quite reluctantly guided Sean's hand off of her thigh, "Let me go check. We had a bit of a clothing situation.".
Sean shrugged and chuckled, "Umm, ok. I hope she's about ready.".
As Haruk approached the closet Sean heard Xerya's voice, "I almost ready I swearing! And hi Sean!".
Sean smiled and looked toward the closet, "Everything ok in there?".
Haruk looked into her closet, "Oh my goddess!".
As she rounded the corner, she was greeted with the sight of Xerya annihilating her stretchiest dress. It was the only thing she had a hope of fitting into, and fitting was a very relative term in this case. She was spilling out of the top and bottom of Haruk's poor white dress.
She was frantically stuffing her tits back into the extremely low neckline. Doing so caused it to ride up her legs and damn near cause her ass to fall out the bottom. Her tits took up so much room in the dress there really wasn't much room left for the rest of her.
Xerya looked at Haruk with a worried expression, "Hold on I just need another second.". She reached down and pulled the bottom to cover more of her ludicrously thick thighs.
Haruk's looked shocked, "You're exploding out of it! By the Empress! You look like you're going to an erotica convention!".
Xerya turned to her looking terrified, "So, it's not working? We don't have time for anything else! And I feel ridiculous!".
Haruk was exasperated, "I mean, it's working, but not for the right reasons.".
Sean overheard this exchange, and he couldn't help but have a look. He peeked around the corner and his jaw hit the floor. Xerya was rocking a beyond skintight white dress that honestly couldn't contain her assets. He got there just in time to see her adjust her bra straps which made the dress ride back up her thighs again.
Xerya saw Sean emerge and blushed like she did the first time they met. She shyly put her hands behind her back and put on a nervous smile, "Hi".
Sean smiled ear to ear while fucking her with his eyes, "Hello to you.".
Haruk rolled her eyes, "See, he basically wants to fuck you right here. Only problem is, now we gotta go have dinner with our boss's, boss's, boss.".
Both Sean and Xerya wilted a bit, but very quickly their eyes began to slither all over each other again. Xerya huffed, "How do you wear these things Haruk?".
Haruk crossed her arms, "Well not like you, that’s for sure.".
Sean squeezed by Haruk, he was compelled to feel Xerya's touch. He literally couldn't stay away, "Xerya you look incredible.".
She quickly responded to his approach by kneeling down and kissing him. Sean allowed his hands to roam all over her, "Just uhhh, try not to pop out at the dinner table. I feel like that would make things maybe just a bit awkward.".
Xerya looked mortified, then relaxed a little, "Yes, I really do not want sex dinner.".
Xerya stood back up and Sean guided her and Haruk towards the door, "Yeah sex is for dessert, not dinner.".
As he said that he made eye contact with Haruk and licked his lips with a devilish smile. Haruk turned blue and bit her lip in anticipation.
They got to the door and Sean put his hand on the handle, "Ok, are you two as nervous as I am?”.
Haruk enthusiastically said, “Oh yeah.”.
Xerya, looking quite nervous, quietly and rapidly nodded.
Sean turned the handle and swung the door open, “Alright, lets try to survive this thing.”.
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
The exo hangar was a loud, well-lit place. Most of the time. Now it was dark except for the lights in bay one. The building was eerily quiet except for the occasional clang or whirring of hand tools. As always, the place stunk of grease, coolant, and sweat.
There was one other sound that broke the pattern of mechanical noises.
"BROTHER FUCKING DAUGHTER OF A CUNT!"
Khe'siri leaned against the wrench and shoved with all her freakish strength. The sweat poured off her brow as she grunted and strained. She adjusted her footing, tightened her grip on the wrench and pushed again. Alas the stubborn bolt refused to turn.
She stepped back and shook the numbness out of her hands, "Goddess damned piece a shit! What crawled up your ass?".
She sat down on a crate and took a long sip off her water bottle. She scowled at the bolt; she hated it. She wanted to defeat it... to destroy it.
I don't care if it takes me all night. That little fucker is coming out of there.
Anyone else who saw her like this would assume she was miserable. That wasn't the case though. It was dark, quiet except for her, and there was no one else around. No people, no bullshit, just her and her work. This was her happy place.
Happy of course was a relative term. Khe'siri didn't have the broadest spectrum of emotions out there. She was angry more often than she wasn't, she was infamous for her fiery temper and foul mouth. A quiet calm was about as close to happy as she could go. Despite her swearing and endless threats to the inanimate objects around her, she was almost enjoying herself.
She stood back up and wiped her hands on her coveralls. As usual the top half was tied around her waist leaving just a tight black tank top covering her chest. Sort of. She once again glared at the bolt on the exo's ankle actuator, "Ok smart ass, you just earned yourself a date with the breaker.".
She reached behind her toolbox and retrieved a five-foot-long purple metal bar. It had a modular slot on the end to fit virtually any kind of nut, bolt, or screw in the Imperium. She had made it herself and was immensely proud of it. She was the only one who ever used it. Not only were many others afraid to interact with her, but they could barely even lift it anyways. It even felt heavy to her, and she loved it dearly.
As she wrapped her meaty hands around it, she looked at it with true affection. Love never brought her anything but trouble in the past. Love with people anyways, but the breaker only ever brought her joy. It was basically her boyfriend.
She had a joyous glint in her eye as she approached the bolt once more, "Alright you little shit, looks like we're doing this the hard way.".
She found herself holding back a smile. Despite the joy she felt wielding the breaker, she really hated that bolt.
Without any preamble she slotted in the proper head and placed it over the bolt. She had the bar angled across her chest so she could channel all her might into it. Between that and the massive mechanical advantage provided by its length, no nut or bolt had ever resisted its power. She was confident this one would be broken like all the others.
"TIME TO GET FUCKED"
Her biceps swelled as she dumped all her power into the breaker. This was the part where the bolt was supposed to turn. Where she got to win. To have at least one little thing in her life turn out her way. But it did not.
She grunted, those grunts turned into growls. Her frustration and rage crescendoed into outright yells, "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!". Almost as if the universe wanted to kick her while she was down, she caught a glimpse of herself reflected on a deactivated data pad as she screamed that question.
She let go of the breaker and thew her arms into the air. She was still looking at her reflection, "What the fuck is wrong with you?".
This was supposed to be the one thing she was good at. Her current failure reminded her of her abysmal scores in that stupid English class she had to take. Not that she really gave a shit about it, but she needed to pass. After a prior incident involving a gratuitous lack of self-control and a dumbass fellow mechanic, Sergeant Revni had creatively punished Khe'siri by enrolling her in English classes on base.
Now she was stuck in that class with a bunch of hopeless cunts who think they'll be able to fuck their teacher. Not only did she not like her classmates, but that human language was stupid. It's hard to learn a language when you hate it and the class.
Then there was that teacher of theirs. He was always parading around the room acting like he was everyone's friend with his tight little pants and fat ass. Guys only ever brought her trouble. Now she had to sit there and listen to a preachy little human male teach her his primitive language.
And now this bolt.
Thinking about the mountain of failures that was her life caused her temper to flare once more. She stormed over to the data pad and threw a punch fueled by her searing anger. The screen instantly cracked into a spiderweb pattern, and the entire back side now domed outwards. Not feeling satisfied, she grabbed the tablet and launched it across the room where it exploded against the opposite wall.
"FUCK!"
She stood there panting and looking at the floor while the hurricane in her mind gradually wound down. She turned to head back to the breaker for one last final try when she noticed something.
Oh my fuck.
The entire casing for that ankle joint was bent. It would be impossible to pull the bolts now. Fixing a broken arm had just turned into brain surgery. Khe'siri gritted her teeth and sneered, "Oh just wait till I find the bitch that drives this thing..."

1 Year Ago Today
Today, June 6, 2023, marks the 1 year "anniversary" of when I self-surrendered to the Federal Prison Camp in Oxford, WI.
I thought it would be an interesting exercise to note SOME of what I have done and not done over the past 12 month.
Since June 6, 2022, I :
--Have not had a phone conversation with my wife or family member for longer than 15 minutes. (those are the only people I talk to).
--Have only eaten my food off of a brown cafeteria tray or out of a plastic bowl.
--Have only drank coffee or water. No type of fruit juice or soda (the soda is by choice).
--Have only worn brown shirts, green pants and green button up shirts (for work or visits), grey sweats (1 pair), grey shorts.
--Have only worn tennis shoes or work boots (both black).
--Have only used what would be considered a public bathroom and shower room.
--Have not taken a shower without wearing shower shoes.
--Have brushed my teeth 2x daily and flossed every night (by choice--I do not want any teeth problems in Prison and dental care is not something that comes along often).
--Have not spent 1 second on the internet (try THAT one yourself!!!).
--Have not used/touched a cell phone.
--Have read from a book or newspaper EVERY SINGLE DAY.
--Have not gone more than 24 hours without reading the Bible.
--Have not gone more than 2 days without exercise.
--Have not ate a fresh fruit or vegetable.
--Have not been on a public road.
--Have not slept on a real mattress or pillow.
--Have not used any food utensil other than a plastic spork.
--Have not had coffee from a coffee maker (instant coffee + hot water from a faucet).
--Have not taken a shower with any control over the water temperature (Super Hot = 2x a week, Cold = 3x a week, Luke warm = 2x a week).
--Have not walked on real grass.
--Have not sat on anything but a plastic chair.
--Have not smelled any type of fragrance, cologne, perfume (other than when my wife visits).
Lastly, I have never been more committed to a daily routine with the goal of bettering myself physically, mentally, and spiritually while preparing myself to be a superior husband, son, brother, future employee, and overall outstanding member of society when I return home at the end of the year.
Thanks for Reading!! Love you All!!!
I am Fine and I am Safe,
Jeff

''Beg for your life in Spanish,'' says the green Duolingo owl popping up on your screen because you forgot to do your lesson. But he's not always threatening. Sometimes, the messages are more passive-aggressive.
But are Duo's threat's responsible for Duolingo generating a revenue of $116 million in 2023 Q1, a 42% increase from 2022? Or is the mascot's menacing stance why the company has reported a 62% DAU (Daily Active Users) growth year-over-year?
Maybe and maybe.
But we believe Luis von Ahn's vision and the company's focus on A/B testing had a bigger role in its success. Here's what we mean.

Target to a Large Market (sometimes).

Nowadays, many entrepreneurs believe the formula to success is to focus on a niche market, and we're not saying that's wrong. But Luis von Ahn and Severin Hacker, the founders of Duolingo, did things differently.
Before Duolingo was even a thing, Rosetta Stone was all the hype in the language learning industry, raising $112.5 million on its first trading day. But here's where the company went wrong: it targeted only a small group by charging hundreds of dollars for its subscription plans.
The Duolingo founders were of the belief that ''true equality is when spending more can’t buy you a better education.” That's how the idea of a free language-learning app came into being.
Duolingo was able to give its competitors a run for their money by simply finding untapped potential. The idea was to let people learn languages for free. And it worked!
Today, everyone uses Duolingo, from a student who wants to learn Spanish to work at a call center to Bill Gates and Khloe Kardashian.
And von Ahn considers it a success that the ''richest man in the world is using the same system as the lowest people on the economic scale.''
As of 2022, Duolingo had 3.3 million paid subscribers and 49.5 million monthly active users. That includes Jack Dorsey, former CEO of Twitter, and Syrian refugees living in Turkey.

Be Data-Driven and A/B Test Everything.

Duolingo repeatedly says that it's a data-driven company. Because it is.
Micro changes have been the prime reason Duolingo's user base increased from 120 million in 2015 to 575 million in 2021. One example of this is the optimization of Duolingo's signup page.
The company noticed many users open the app but don't sign up. So, they experimented with different signup screens.
Eventually, they discovered that letting people use the app for a while before asking them to sign up would work. And it did, increasing the DAUs by 20%.
The team did the same with streaks. They quickly realized that even after sign-ups, it was hard to get people to open the app every day. So, they introduced streaks, urging users to come back every day.
Tweaking the stream notification copy alone increased DAUs by 5%.

Never Stop Evolving and Experimenting.

Had von Ahn kept Duolingo stagnant like Rosetta Stone, it would have never become the sensation it is today. Here's how quickly and consistently Duolingo evolved:

• CNN and Buzzfeed Partnership: Duolingo partnered with CNN and Buzzfeed, earning through user-translated content. The partnership worked because Duo's pricing - at 4 cents per word - was cheaper than the industry average of 6 to 10 cents/word. Users also seemed to have a lot of fun, with 600 articles being translated daily.
• Duolingo Incubator: The company introduced an Incubator program where contributors could create a course for a language unavailable on the platform. In just three years, contributors created 87 courses that benefitted more than 150 million people.
• Test Center: In 2014, Duolingo released its Test Center, a TOEFL or IELTS-like test that users could take to get their English language certification for foreign employment and educational opportunities. Many universities and employers, including Uber, accept this test.
• Duolingo for Schools: It's a free service that allows teachers to teach languages in classrooms. About 100,000 teachers signed up for Duolingo just a few months after this feature's release.

There you have it; Duolingo's recipe for success.
We would love to hear your feedback on this post, as this was our first. Any and all suggestions are welcome!

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Thought a refresher of the opening statement presented by Myers related the case he intends to present might be helpful, since membership has grown from about two dozen people on that day until now. Using Sky News because older live Chester Standard articles are not loading correctly, but the Chester Standard link is at the bottom.
This Sky News link would also take you to the prosecution opening statements if you continue to go backwards
https://news.sky.com/story/lucy-letby-trial-live-updates-prosecution-defence-cases-outlined-nurse-12716378

Defence begins by saying 'all we have so far is a theory of guilt based firmly on coincidence'

Ben Myers KC has begun his opening statement, speaking in defence of Lucy Letby.
He begins by acknowledging to the jury how saddening the allegations are.
"It is difficult to think of allegations that could be more upsetting than these and it's difficult to think of allegations that strike harder at our desire to protect than these allegations," he says.
He says "the sympathy of everyone will rightly be with the families of the children involved in this case" and the defence is not here to "diminish" that.
He tells the jury it would be "easy for emotion to take the place of evidence" but says that would be "staggeringly unfair" to the defendant.
"There is a real danger that people will simply accept the prosecution theory of guilt," he tells the court.
"And that is all that we have so far. A theory of guilt, based firmly on coincidence."
Mr Myers tells the court blame should not be "heaped on that woman", while pointing at Letby, and says others may have made mistakes.
"Sometimes what happened was a genuine deterioration in the health of one or other of these children," he says.

​

'You won't get the answers simply looking at the woman in the dock'

Ben Myers tells the jury he is "barely touching" on the detail involved in this case today.
He says the defence's opening statement will not be as detailed as the four-day opening the prosecution has put forward. More detail will come later in the trial.
He says he will touch on "failings at the Countess of Chester Hospital neonatal unit that have nothing to do with Lucy Letby".
Letby was a "dedicated nurse", Mr Myers says, who "trained hard" to look after the babies at the unit and "in no way did she want to hurt them".
Letby "loved her job... cared deeply about the babies she looked after, and cared deeply for their families", the court is told.
"You won't get the answers to this case simply by looking at the woman in the dock now," he says.
"This is where she is six years after starting to face allegations like this. As you can imagine, that must be utterly gruelling for anyone."
Mr Myers says the jury "might want to keep the effect of that in mind" when they examine evidence in the case.
"Anybody who is approaching this as if it is any kind of done deal has got it very badly wrong," the court is told.
In the dock, Letby continues staring straight ahead.

​

Letby wrote 'I'll never have children or marry' in 'confession' note

The court is once again shown what - the prosecution says - was Letby's confession note.
But Mr Myers says these are the writings of an "anguished woman in despair" who is realising the enormity of what is facing her.
A line on the note, which is being shown to the court, says Letby has an "overwhelming fear... I'll never have children or marry... I will never know what it's like to have a family... despair."
He says the note does not "accurately reflect" what has happened, but was written by Letby while upset, who "poured her feelings onto paper as a way of coping".

​

'No evidence' these attacks took place, defence says

Defence KC Ben Myers is now addressing why a number of medical notes were found in Lucy Letby's possession following a search of her house.
He says she did not have them for a "sinister motive" but she was a person who "scribbled things down" and a person who "hangs onto bits of paper".
He then turns to the "coincidence" involved in the case.
"We say there is an assumption that someone is doing deliberate harm," he tells the court.
"There is no evidence of the actual events being alleged."
From using syringes to injecting air, tampering with bags of fluid or in some other way poisoning, physically assaulting children, or smothering them - the defence says there is no evidence that these attacks took place.
He returns to the case of Child E, whose mother - the prosecution said - walked in on Letby attacking her child.
Mr Myers says the evidence will not bear this out.
"The assumption of harm" and the assumption Letby is behind the harm has made the allegations "self-fulfilling".

​

Defence questions standard of care at Countess of Chester Hospital

Defence KC Ben Myers is now telling the jury there were shortcomings at the Countess of Chester Hospital that cannot be attributed to Letby.
"There is a question of whether this hospital should have been looking after all these children, and whether it did so to the required standard," My Myers tells the court.
"For a nurse in the neonatal unit, standing there when a child is unwell is unremarkable," he says.
"Her presence alone is now treated as sinister."

​

What the defence is asking the jury to consider

The defence KC tells the jury the evidence "may look daunting" to start with, but he says he will be asking them to consider five issues.
These are...
1. The birth condition of the baby.
2. Whether there were any problems in the health and care of the child leading up to the event we are considering. He says: "Things with babies like this can be unexpected... but we also say when you get down to the detail of the evidence it isn't always that clear and it isn't always unexpected."
3. Whether the prosecution expert medical evidence proves there was deliberate harm done.
4. Whether Letby was present at the time and what the evidence can establish about what she was doing if she was there.
5. If there were failings in care with the baby we are looking at, or at the unit as a whole.

​

'We are dealing with babies who are clinically fragile'

The defence says there were other events and "collapses" which took place when Lucy Letby was not present.
The court has been shown again a chart - first presented by the prosecution - which shows Lucy Letby was present at all 22 incidents involving the 17 babies mentioned in the indictment.
Defence KC Ben Myers says the chart does not show the "shortcomings in care, which may be the fault of others", nor does it show any other incidents which took place when Letby was not there.
"When we strip away all the surrounding detail, messages, Facebook searches, even amateur psychology, the case will come down to the medical evidence," he tells the jury.
The cause of death or deterioration in an infant is "not always clear" and there can be a "number of possibilities", Mr Myers says.
"Generally, we are dealing with babies who are clinically fragile, and their condition can change very swiftly."

​

Experts 'influenced by confirmation bias', says defence

Ben Myers KC is now returning to the five points that he is asking the jury to consider (see 12.59pm post) when deciding if Letby is guilty or not.
He asks the jury to "remember how quickly problems can develop" with neonatal children.
He tells the jury to listen out for any evidence that shows the unit at the Countess of Chester Hospital was "understaffed and overstretched".
He says experts can be influenced by "an overarching assumption that what has happened is a result of deliberate harm".
"The fact they are an expert does not mean this cannot happen," he says.
"Where there is no clear explanation for what has happened - and that can sometimes happen in medicine - there is a danger of an expert being drawn into an explanation of evidence that is influenced by the prosecution's theory."
He tells the jury this is called "confirmation bias".

​

'Doctors don't always have the answers'

The experts that will be called in the trial have "met as a group and considered their opinions jointly", defence lawyer Ben Myers KC tells the court.
He then tells the jury that the burden is not on the defendant to provide an explanation of the events that unfolded.
"Doctors don't always have the answers and nor do medical experts," he says.
"The fact that Ms Letby can't explain a particular event... does not mean she is responsible for it."
Letby remains "adamant" that she has done nothing to harm any of the children mentioned in the indictment.
Mr Myers is now turning to each of the children in turn.

​

Child A died as a result of 'suboptimal care' and 'lack of fluids', says defence

The defence accepts there is a "possibility" that Child A died as the result of an air embolus (an injection of air).
But Ben Myers KC says the defence does not accept on this count that it was the cause of death.
He says the care given to Child A was "suboptimal" and the infant collapsed either as a result of a "lack of fluids" or a result of the "various lines that had been put into him" and the potential they interfered with his heart rate.
The air found inside Child A can happen "post mortem".

​

'Nothing' to support injection of air as jury told to 'look at the practicalities'

Child B, Ben Myers KC tells the court, had been in a "precarious position from birth" and was born "blue and floppy".
He says there is "nothing" to support an injection of air, or Child B's airway being blocked.
"She had other episodes where she struggled to breathe after the time on the indictment here," he says.
Next, he moves to Child C. He tells the jury although he is moving through the cases quickly, he does not mean this to be "heavy-handed" or cause offence to the families involved but that he wants to give an overview of the defence's argument.
"We accept in this case," he says, it is a "theoretical possibility" that Child C was injected with air.
He tells the jury to "look at the practicalities of that".
Child C was born "very premature": "As a starting point, sadly, a baby like that will be vulnerable to a range of complications."
This includes being more vulnerable to infection, and Child C should have been at a more specialist unit, Mr Myers says

​

Absence of evidence 'does not convert it into evidence of guilt'

Child D experienced delays to her medical care and was "never able to breath unaided", the jury is told.
"She was not put on antibiotics when she should have been," Ben Myers KC says.
He says the evidence shows infection was more likely than an injection of air.
Moving to Child E - who the prosecution said was attacked in front of his own mother - Mr Myers says there was no evidence of an air injection and "no evidence of direct trauma".
"There is no clear explanation in his case of what happened," he tells the jury but says that is not a good enough reason to assume Letby was responsible.
He then moves to count six and count 15, which involved the attempted murders of Child F and Child L. The prosecution alleges they were both poisoned with insulin.
He says the absence of evidence "does not convert it into evidence of guilt".
The IV bag, which was allegedly spiked with insulin, was changed when Letby was not on shift. The sample that was analysed was taken from this bag, which Letby had not come into contact with, Mr Myers says.
"The prosecution are fixed to the theory that all is due to Lucy Letby," he says.

​

Defence continues to blame care at Countess of Chester Hospital

Letby faces three charges of the attempted murder of Child G. On 6 September 2015, the prosecution claims she was fed an excessive amount of milk and vomited out of her cot and onto a nearby chair.
Ben Myers KC, for the defence, says doctors say Child G was "born on the margins of viability".
"She was a high-risk baby with a history of abdominal distension and vomiting", the court hears.
The defence also says Child G had exhibited signs of infection.
Next, he says the case of Child H is "complicated by suboptimal treatment" that she received at the beginning of her life. Letby faces two charges of attempted murder, which took place on consecutive nights.
Mr Myers says this is "another example of suboptimal care" at the Countess of Chester Hospital.
"What happened at the hospital had nothing to do with Lucy Letby. Despite all of that, she was there," he says.
Child I - who it is claimed Letby tried to kill four times before "succeeding" - experienced "a series of ongoing clinical problems that may well have been inevitable given her extreme prematurity".

​

'The Countess of Chester Hospital was well out of its depth'

Defence lawyer Ben Myers KC says "the Countess of Chester Hospital was well out of its depth" when it came to treating Child J, who Letby is accused of murdering.
He said the hospital delivered "inadequate care" to the child, who was born with a perforated and necrotic bowel.
Nothing, Mr Myers says, can link Child J's collapse to anything Letby did.
In the case of Child K, Letby is accused of doing nothing to help as the infant's oxygen levels dropped - a consultant who looked at the child found her breathing tube was dislodged.
"Ms Letby does not agree she has done that, nor was she seen to do that," Mr Myers tells the jury.
He disputes claims from the prosecution that the newborn was sedated and couldn't move.
"We say she wasn't and she could," he says.
He says the child "shouldn't have been" at the Countess of Chester Hospital.

​

Screaming child 'more likely due to hunger' than air injection, according to the defence

Moving on to Child L and Child M, twin boys who survived.
Defence lawyer Ben Myers KC says "blame is being put on Ms Letby because there is no obvious alternative".
He continues: "The mere fact she is there when something happens is almost being used as an explanation for it happening."
In the case of Child N - for whom Letby faces three counts of attempted murder - he says the fact the child screamed for 30 minutes was more likely due to "hunger" than being injected with air.
One expert, the prosecution said previously, said he had never seen a neonate scream for such a long time.
Mr Myers says Child N should also not have been at the hospital.

​

'Signs of infection' in one triplet, and air found in another a 'natural occurrence'

There were "signs of infection" in one of the two triplets who died at the Countess of Chester Hospital, the defence has said.
Child O was found with "severe liver damage", and both he and his brother, Child P, died within the first week of their lives.
Ben Myers KC, representing Letby, says the liver damage in Child O can be attributed to CPR.
Meanwhile, any air that was identified in Child P post-mortem is a "natural occurrence" that happens after death.
"The build-up of air found in the child can be attributed to the air flowing into the baby for respiratory support," the jury is told.
"Once he collapsed it isn't clear why he didn't respond to resuscitation but that doesn't go so far as to show this was inflicted harm."
He addresses the final case, that of Child Q and says a "poorly functioning bowel is probably what led to him being unwell and vomiting".

​

'Where was she? What was she doing?'

After running through each individual case, Ben Myers KC, for the defence, turns to "Ms Letby and what her presence means at that time".
"It's a simple question, where was she, what was she doing?" he asks the jury.
But he tells them it is "important not to guess" because the evidence "cannot pinpoint" exactly where she was at any given moment.
"She can hardly be expected to remember," he says.
"We say there are many occasions when Lucy Letby was not there."
Some events took place when Letby wasn't there, but he says the prosecution has been selective with the events it has chosen.
Even when Letby was present "that doesn't get close to proving what the prosecution allege". He says it would be unfair to "treat presence as mere evidence of guilt".

​

Letby a 'young nurse who built her life around the neonatal unit'

Ben Myers KC describes Letby as a young nurse with no immediate family commitment and someone who "had built her life around the neonatal unit" and thus was willing to be called in at short notice.
"Someone in that position, in that role... is more likely to be there when deterioration happens, but that doesn't mean she made it happen," he says.
Letby will not always be able to recall specific details about children or events.
"In that regard, she is like any other witness in this case," Mr Myers says.
Regarding the medical treatment given at the neonatal unit, he says: "Nobody is going to expect perfection day in day out."
He says there were "problems with the way this unit performed that had nothing to do with Lucy Letby".

​

Hospital was 'downgraded': 'To blame Letby is unfair and inaccurate' - defence

Ben Myers KC tells the jury that there are other examples of "suboptimal treatment" within the Countess of Chester Hospital that are "legitimate targets of criticism".
The prosecution has "consistently" highlighted how some babies recovered once removed from Letby's orbit.
Yet the defence says: "Their improvement coincided with removal from the Countess of Chester Hospital which could not deliver, we say, on some occasions the care that was necessary or the expertise for some of the children it looked after."
Mr Myers says that blaming Letby for this is "unfair and inaccurate".
The Countess of Chester had a "lack of technical medical skills", accepted babies with too high a level of care need, and on occasion was "too busy".
He points to the fact that the hospital was "downgraded" by a clinical watchdog, and redesignated to a level one. He says the hospital "could not provide care at the level it did".

​

Letby 'became a target of blame' amid pressure to find explanation for high infant mortality rate

In the case of Child K, a consultant became concerned about the correlation between the presence of Letby and the rise in sudden collapses.
But Ben Myers KC says this became "self-serving and self-fulfilling" and there was evidence for his concern.
He says she "became a target of blame and wrongly so".
"If others have failed to provide appropriate care or the unit is too busy or not appropriately staff you may agree that creates a situation in which things can go wrong... mistakes made, records not kept," he tells the jury.
He says there was "pressure to find an explanation" behind the spike in infant deaths at the unit.

​

Defence concludes its opening statement

Amid a final call for the jury to consider the evidence, Ben Myers KC concludes his opening statement by saying: "This whole case is a complex case, it is not straightforward.
"And in that dock is a young woman who says this is not her fault."

Chester Standard's live coverage of the same is here, but their older articles have stopped loading in their entirety for me: https://www.chesterstandard.co.uk/news/23044585.lucy-letby-trial-recap-prosecution-finishes-outlining-case-defence-gives-statement/

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MLB DFS Picks and Advice 6/6: Top DraftKings and FanDuel Stacks, Hitters and Pitchers
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I humbly come before you today to express my sincerest apologies for any hurt, disappointment, or confusion I may have caused. I recognize the impact of my actions and the pain they have inflicted upon those affected. It is with deep remorse that I acknowledge the mistakes I have made.
I must confront the truth within me and acknowledge that there are demons in me, flaws and imperfections that have contributed to my regrettable behavior. I am committed to self-reflection, personal growth, and seeking the necessary help to overcome these challenges.
I understand that mere words cannot undo the past, but I hope that you find it in your hearts to grant me the opportunity to make amends and rebuild the trust that has been lost.

I humbly come before you today to express my sincerest apologies for any hurt, disappointment, or confusion I may have caused. I recognize the impact of my actions and the pain they have inflicted upon those affected. It is with deep remorse that I acknowledge the mistakes I have made.
I must confront the truth within me and acknowledge that there are demons in me, flaws and imperfections that have contributed to my regrettable behavior. I am committed to self-reflection, personal growth, and seeking the necessary help to overcome these challenges.
I understand that mere words cannot undo the past, but I hope that you find it in your hearts to grant me the opportunity to make amends and rebuild the trust that has been lost.

Me, “B,” and “G” are friends. I met B about 2 years ago, and his best friend of now 6 years is G. I did not expect to necessarily become friends with G, but we very quickly did. We talked a lot as soon as we met, we hang out alone a lot, and we have very similar interests.
My problem is every time I invite B along to hangout with us, G will only text him about plans. This has happened at least 20 times by now. For example, G and I agreed to hangout at his place. We made the plan a week in advance. It was supposed to be just us, but B was free so we invited him. G texted B all the details from there: when to meet, what we will do, where we will eat, and didn’t communicate any of it to me. I didn’t know any of the details until B casually mentioned them the day of (thinking I already knew). Other times he will only text the address of the place we’re meeting to B even if I’m the one who made the plans with G and will be driving us.
G loves social media and documenting his daily life. Every time I hangout with him, he doesn’t mention it. But almost any time B does, he mentions it. In fact, both B and I will hangout with him at the same time and he will post “Saw B today!” and literally exclude my presence. He did this yesterday, we went swimming together as a group and he said “Went swimming with B today!”
I understand they have a longer history and that is ok, but I’m feeling excluded in a weird way. However, I do not want to bring it up if I’m overreacting.