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2018.01.08 19:07 The Valleyfolk

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2023.03.25 03:25 LeeCloud27 ACT 2-6-8: Lingering Scarlet Fear

*SHUNK*
A blink of an eye passed, moments after the object was thrown across the room by Efena over to Mystia. Sumireko and the others were stunned by what had occurred; some were perplexed, while others were concerned.
What they saw was Mystia being tightly embraced by Satsujin, in a position where Satsujin could act as a shield, a protector for the Night Sparrow. The object had dug deep into his back, injecting firmly well into him. But the object in question was strange. It wasn’t some kind of special bullet that Efena had prepared, nor was it a blade of any kind. It was a syringe filled with an unusual blue liquid that slowly seeped into Satsujin until it was completely drained.
Satsujin felt a pulse of energy course through him, as if a jolt of electricity had zipped from the top of his head to the ends of his toes. He felt a surge of immense power surging through him, only for it to dissipate and vanish, nothing more than a flickering light that had lost its spark. But other than that, he felt fine.
"Mystia…" He said, looking at the girl’s face. "Are you alright?"
"Satsujin…" Mystia looked at his face, seeing the genuine, reassuring smile he gave her, letting her know everything was alright. "You…took the hit for me."
"Yeah…I did." Satsujin said. "Because I wouldn’t want to witness the one I love get hurt." He said.
Within his subconscious, Satsuki was weeping with tears of joy, as though she were watching a soap opera. Satsugrim, on the other hand, did nothing but facepalm as hard as he could.
"Satsujin… You’re… You’re so brave… You’re so heroic. You’re so…Gullible." Mystia’s voice suddenly changed to a dark and scary one.
"W…What?" Satsujin was confused. The way Mystia said that word, it was as though she were now a different person. But that can’t be true, right? He sensed nothing wrong from her, nothing! There’s no way she’s a fake; he would know!
But he was soon to be proven wrong. Mystia’s form slowly began to change. Her hair which was short and pink began to grow long and messy, reaching down to her hips. Her skin turned pale and chiseled like a porcelain doll. Her clothes which were white and brown, decorated with ornaments, turned into a long plain white dress.
"You’re not Mystia…" Satsujin said, backing away from the transforming figure. "Who are you?" He asked.
"Who am I?" The figure said. "Satsujin, have you forgotten what I look like? How shameful of you. I’m Efena. The Goddess of Fear." Efena said, now revealing her true form.
"B-But how!? I thought you were controlling Yukari! You can’t be in two places at once!" Satsujin shouted.
Over by where Yukari was, a root that had been implanted in her neck shriveled up and detached from her, likely due to the force of the impact that she received. Her eyes and form slowly reverted back to normal, as she blinked around, confused about what was going on. But everything clicked when she saw Sumireko and the others.
Sumireko and Suika looked back, seeing Yukari struggling to move. "Wait, if that’s Efena over there. Then that’s Yukari." Sumireko said.
"No…No!!!" She attempted to say something, but her voice was hoarse. She tried to get up, but her legs buckled when she moved. It was as though she were a newborn taking their first steps. "Everyone…Run…Run!!!"
Everyone was even more confused, while Efena laughed. "My roots can do more than grab onto people or spread my fear mist. I can also inject them into the back of their necks and control them for a short period of time. Though I can’t do it on anyone, only those who have succumbed to their fears…Oh, did I forgot to mention I can shapeshift into other beings?"
Of all the moments that Satsujin could be feeling anger, this was one of them. He was furious, a fiery volcano erupting in an explosive manner. To think he'd be duped so easily by someone he hadn't expected. He was heartbroken, knowing it wasn’t Mystia he saved.
"I…Will…Crush you!!!" He shouted, holding his hand out and preparing to unleash a spell card. "Song Sign: Violent String!"

But nothing happened.
"What?" Satsujin was now more confused than before. He tried again. "Song Sign: Violent String!!!" But again, nothing, not even a single bullet was casted. "Why is it not working? Violent String! Violent String!!! Violent String!!!!!"
Efena simply smiled, while her roots began to form around her and Satsujin. Slowly they moved to wrap around his legs, throwing him to the ground. He hit the floor hard, nearly banging his head had he not covered his face first. He didn’t even notice the roots surrounding him. And thinking about it now, he can’t sense anything whatsoever. He was completely blind.
Efena began to laugh, watching Satsujin struggle like an infant, trying to pull himself out of the roots. He wanted to use his intangibility, but even that wouldn’t work. He can't use his echolocation, turn intangible, or even cast magic. He was powerless.
"What’s going on!? Why can’t I use my abilities!?" He said.
The others realized what was going on, and they quickly tried to go over and help him.
"Satsujin!!!" Rumia shouted. "What’s happening right-"
Suddenly, the roots in the room began to spray out their mist, hitting everyone that was inside, including Satsujin. They all tried to avoid inhaling it, holding their breaths, but they couldn’t keep it up forever.
"Ack! That smells terrible!" Rumia said, wiping the mist away from her face. "Satsujin… What is going on?"
She opened her eyes. But she didn’t find herself in the Scarlet Devil Mansion… But instead, she was in a dark forest, where she was met with a woman she was all too familiar with. Donning a fox mask on her face, wearing the traditional clothes of Hakurei, and wielding the honorable gohei that was primarily used for extortions and exterminations.
"N…No…No, it can’t be real… No…Nonono…No…G…Get away…" Rumia said, backing away. "Get away…Get away I’m sorry!!!"
Rumia witnessed her fears come to life. Cirno on the other hand was experiencing something different. She saw the sight of her beloved friends dead on the ground, their weapons broken and shattered, even Letty, the woman she looked up to was nothing more than a corpse.
"E…Everyone…Reisen…Big Sis…Letty." Cirno said.
And as she looked up, she saw a figure floating above the clouds, the full moon embraced behind her, and a single wing that spread wider than their entire body, while a long blade rested in their hand.
"Cirno and the others will be victorious in their fight, managing to defeat the one-winged angel with no casualties." The person said in a cold yet calculating voice.
"You…You killed them…You killed them all… SAGUME!!!!!!!!!!" Cirno screamed with a mix of anger and fear.
The others were experiencing similar fates. Suika had found herself alone again, trapped in her own gourd with no way out. Sumireko was trapped inside a box that was slowly filled with cockroaches. Meiling watched everyone in her family die thanks to the one person who caused it all. Ko witnessed her mother being crushed to death over and over again. Mary simply turned into a rusty blade, worthless in all the ways a blade could be, and forever forgotten as a result.
Satsujin could hear everyone screaming or yelling in fear, while the laughter of Efena played out. "D-Damn you!!! How…How did you do this? How did you take away my powers!?" He demanded.
"Oh? That’s simple." Efena said. "I used a special kind of serum made by a highly intelligent acquaintance of mine. You probably don’t know him, but he’s known by the name Prof. Altalune. He has a very unique ability that was very helpful in dealing with people such as you, the Goddess of Hell, and even the Hakurei Shrine Maiden."
"And what is that!?" Satsujin demanded.
"The ability to disable other abilities."
The way she said it made him realize the gravity of his situation. He can't do anything because his abilities aren't working. He’s nothing more than a regular being.
"I wonder, now that your pesky mental defenses are lowered, that means you should be susceptible to my mist again." Efena giggled. "Only one way to find out…"
She approached Satsujin, imitating a blown kiss while spraying one of her roots directly in his face. He coughed, almost gagging from the intense smell of the mist.
Within his subconscious, his eyes gazed upon a sight that was to behold. He was standing in the middle of the streets of Japan, late at night, with the cold wind blowing by him. He looked at his surroundings, and they were familiar, very familiar.
"This…This is the place that I-"
He stepped back, only to feel a presence behind him. He turned around, looking up to greet the face of a man he swore was dead.
His father was dressed in the same fancy suit, smoking a cigar and laughing so hard it sent chills down his spine.
"Hehehe. Run all you want, boy. But you can never truly escape your past." The man said.
Satsujin, for what seemed like forever, was afraid again. His eyes darted around the place, looking at the buildings and the streetlamps. He saw men and women of various shapes and sizes, all of them wearing identical outfits while holding weapons ranging from bats to switchblades. He walked back, but felt another presence yet again.
He turned around and was greeted by a mature and beautiful woman. She wore a silky dress that showed her shoulders well. Her hair was styled up to make herself look as rich as rich could be, while in one of her hands she held a wine glass that swirled round and round with little effort on her part.
"Mother…You’re also-"
"Don’t talk to me." His mother said.
Satsujin was interrupted by the swiping of her hand, her claws tearing through his skin like paper. He was knocked to the ground, his cheek bleeding. The pain was enough for him to start tearing up, but both his parents were the least of his problems.
When he looked to his right, he saw his brother kneeling on the ground, a bag over his head, and one of the taller guys standing above him, holding a mallet primarily used for pounding mochi. His brother struggled to move because his arms and legs were bound with ropes.
"No…No, what are you doing to him?" Satsujin asked. "Let him go. Please, let him go! He’s done nothing wrong!"
His father let out a laugh, while his mother took a small sip of wine, looking at the man with the mallet and spoke,
"Do your thing already." She said.
"No! NO!!!" Satsujin shouted, he tried to get up but his body was weak. He could only watch as the man lifted the mallet up into the sky, casting a shadow in the moonlight. His father's laughter filled his ears as he screamed in desperation at the sight of him.
"NOOOOOOOO!!!"
Before the mallet could strike, Satsujin was suddenly pulled out of the nightmare by Satsuki and Satsugrim. The gateway to the sequence tried to pull him back using root-like hands, but Satsuki used her bat to crush them into nothing but paste.
"Augh! Gross!" Satsuki said. "I’ll need to clean Ruthless later after all of this."
Satsujin breathed heavily, but began to slow down when he realized he was back in his own subconscious, where it was safe. He looked up, seeing Satsugrim holding a hand out to help him up. He gladly took that hand and stood back up.
"Thanks for pulling me out. I didn’t think that-"
And then Satsugrim punched him across the face, knocking him down.
"Satsugrim!" Satsuki shouted.
"You… Fucking idiot!" Satsugrim shouted. He reached back down to pull Satsujin back using his shirt, forcing Satsujin to stare right into his half-broken mask. "Not only did you ignore my advice, not run away when you should’ve run, and willingly surrender, but now we can’t even use our abilities because of your inept behavior. And for what exactly!?"
Satsujin looked back at Satsugrim, still feeling afraid due to the mist. He could see the level of anger his more negative variant showed, and he can’t help but feel he was right.
"I just...wanted to protect someone," said Satsujin.
"Oh, of course." Satsugrim said in a harsh tone. He shoved Satsujin away from him as he tried to keep his balance. "I guess it was worth giving up all of our powers and skills so you could save the woman who lured all of us into a trap… You’re more incompetent than her right now."
Satsujin wanted to argue, fight back, say something to make his variant shut up. But he can't because he has nothing to say to demonstrate that what he did was worthwhile. He led everyone into a trap, got them all captured, and when they were close to victory, he screwed up in the end.
"Okay, fine. You’re right." Satsujin said. "I fucked up. Is that all you want to hear?"
"Oh wow, you’re actually admitting it." Satsugrim felt a little surprised. "But it’s too late now, Satsujin. We can’t go back after this."
"Well what do you expect me to do then? It’s not my fault that you and everyone else expect me to be perfect."
"Guys, c’mon already!" Satsuki shouted. "What happened to no fighting/bickering? We need to think of a solution that could help us get out of this situation."
"Oh, you got any bright ideas, Miss ‘Swing and a Hit’? Because I am all… all… all…" Satsugrim's tone changed from sarcastic to fearful. Satsuki and Satsujin were puzzled as they both wondered what caused his mannerisms to change.
"Huh? What is it now? Why did you get so quiet?" Satsuki asked.
Satsugrim’s hand was shakily raised to point forward behind Satsuki. Both she and Satsujin turned around to look at where Satsugrim was pointing. And they both turned baffled.
They saw a figure walk towards them, wearing a classy black suit normally worn at formal events. Their hair was well-combed and styled in a fancy manner. He had both of his hands in his pockets, strolling towards the three while a trail of a purple, glitchy essence trailed behind him on the ground. He wore a purple-oni mask on his face, covering up his identity, but as soon as everyone saw him, he took out one of his hands and removed the mask.
Everyone was shocked when they saw who it was. He had the same face as Satsujin, with the exception that there were no scars around his eyes, and instead of red and blue heterochromatic eyes, they were both a vibrant shade of purple.
"No…No. No no no no no nononononononononononono." Satsugrim said in a panicked tone. "We got to move. Now… NOW!!!" He grabbed both Satsuki and Satsujin, pulling them as he tried to make them move.
"Hey! What is going on!? Who is that guy?" Satsujin said.
"He’s the reason I don’t have my eyes! We can’t stay here! We gotta move now!!!" Satsugrim said.
"What? I'm not going to flee like you, Grim!" Satsuki said, yanking her arm away from Satsugrim. "If he's a threat, then we should deal with him!"
"Wait! No!!!" Satsugrim said.
But Satsuki didn’t listen. She ran right over to the purple-eyed man with her baseball bat. She got close enough to where she could swing it right at him, intending to bash his brains out. However-
*BANG*
She fell to the ground, dropping her bat, and lay there, blood seeping out from the bullet wound she received from the man’s gun, which he had in his other pocket.
"Satsuki!" Satsujin said. "We gotta help her!!!" He tried to pull away from Satsugrim.
"Again with this shit!? The last time you helped someone we lost our powers, we gotta move!"
"I don’t care! I can’t leave her! You can if you want!"
"I can’t! You’re supposed to be the main host! If you fall, then he gets to take back control!"
"Who even is he!?"
The man who had been standing far away from them suddenly appeared in front of them, a casual smile on his face and his eyes glaring down at both variants of Satsujin. Both of them froze in terror, their legs paralyzed by terror. In a desperate attempt, Satsugrim threw Satsujin away from him with as much strength as he could, then proceeded to pull out his severed blade to attack the threat. But the threat blocked the attack using the hilt of his gun, putting in little effort to hold him back.
"Grim! What are you-"
"Just fucking go already!" Satsugrim shouted.
Those words were apparently enough for Satsujin to finally understand the situation. He turned around and began to run as quickly as he could while Satsugrim held back the menace for as long as possible. He ran as far as he could, running for what felt like miles, yet never seemingly running out of breath.
"Damn it Grim! The one time you decide to not act so cowardly." Satsujin told himself. "What do I even do now? I can’t use my abilities, I don’t know where I’m supposed to go."
*BANG*
A bullet shot him in the leg. He fell to the ground, wincing from the immense pain he was feeling.
"Auuugh!!! It hurts!!! Why does it hurt so much!?" Satsujin yelled. He figured he could try and pull out the bullet from his leg, but he didn’t know how he could do that. Instead he watched the figure who he believed he ran away from now walking towards him, dragging behind Satsuki and Satsugrim using what looked to be strings made of the same essence that trailed behind him.
He crawled away, trying to get back up, but he shot his other leg in response, making it so he could no longer run. Satsujin yelled in pain, desperate for a way out.
"W-wait!!! Please… Why are you doing this?" Satsujin said. "Aren’t you supposed to be me or something? We’re supposed to work together!"
The figure continued to remain silent. He walked up to Satsujin, pulling him up with ease, and forced him to make eye contact. Satsujin remained terrified of the person, knowing he could not do anything.
"Who…are you even?" He asked.
And finally, the figure spoke.
"...I’m you… Or rather, you’re me… Dai Kensei."
And then it happened. Satsujin felt a flourish of corruption energy flow right into him. He started to scream sporadically, both internally and externally.
Back in the real world, Satsujin was glitching out, his body twitching and writhing like someone who had a seizure. His screams filled up the room, his form changing to become more and more unrecognizable as if he were a sprite in a game that had been horribly altered to be nothing like how it should look.
And then, it stopped. Satsujin’s form changed back to how he was before he became a vengeful spirit, back into being a full-blooded human, as he collapsed to the ground, his eyes no longer red and blue, not even a bright pink and purple, or even blue and red. They were completely white, lacking any color whatsoever.
Efena was a little shocked at first, seeing Satsujin react in such a way. But her shock turned to laughter, laughter that became more hysterical in a matter of seconds. She laughed as though she truly believed she had won.
"HAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAAAAAA!!! Oh…Inco. To think you had planned this far… I knew you wouldn’t let someone like him be." She said, wiping away tears from her face. "You always…always find a way."
Reaching in her dress, she pulled out PB’s deactivated form that she got from Ko, smiling with bliss. "Now all we need is the cube and die and then-"
Her moment was interrupted when she felt a bullet hit her, albeit a weak one. She looked over, seeing Yukari having regained some of her strength now, as she stood up with a look of frustration and hatred, struggling to move but having enough energy to act if she needed to.
"Oh, yes. I forgot about you for a moment. You’re still regaining your energy though, so you’re not going to be much of a threat, are you?" Efena said.
Yukari stepped forward, waddling back and forth while breathing wearily. She didn’t say anything, instead only focused on walking towards the Goddess of Fear. But a root she didn’t see caused her to trip over, falling to the ground. She struggled to push herself back up while Efena continued to laugh.
"Look at you, trying to stand up like a newborn deer. Maybe I should spray you with some of my mist to help." Efena relocated some of her roots to Yukari's position. But before she could spray out more of her mist, she was sucker-punched hard across the face.
Yukari blinked. One second Efena was standing all triumphant and stoic, the next a blinding light zipped right at her and struck the woman across the face. She stumbled but kept her feet on the ground. Efena checked her face, feeling the lingering pain of a punch left on her.
"What?" She said. She then checked her other hand, realizing that PB was gone. "Wait… Where’s the plate!?"
Just then, a blinding light reappeared in the room, erasing the darkness. A figure stood in between Yukari and Efena, shrouded in light. The Goddess of Fear’s eyes widened, filled with mixed emotions of fear and anger, seeing the figure holding PB in their hands.
"...You…It’s you…" Efena said.
"...Who are you?" Yukari said with a raspy voice.
The figure looked back at Yukari, "Can you still use your powers right now?"
Yukari was confused by their request. She had regained some of her energy so she should be able to open up a gap. "I should, but why do you ask?"
As if right on cue, the room started to shake, tremendously. It was as though something was shaking the entire mansion, affecting Yukari, Efena, and also the figure shrouded in light.
Deep beneath the mansion, Demise was somewhere close to where the basement was located, using his powers to affect the surrounding rock and dirt by creating vibrations equivalent to that of high-magnitude earthquakes. He hummed to himself, wondering how long it would take for the mansion to collapse. Because while the mansion can handle many types of weather and disasters, a magnitude-10 earthquake is not one of them.
The mansion began to crack, the pillars that supported it began to break and collapse, rooms shattered, and debris fell. It was only a matter of time before the entire mansion was demolished. Efena, attempting to avoid getting hit, had a chunk of the ceiling collapse on top of her, knocking her out easily.
"W-w-what is going on?" Yukari said, trying not to be thrown to the ground.
"Crap!!! Crap! crap! crap!" The figure of light said. "Quick! Make one of those gaps and help me get everyone out to safety! Now!!!"
Yukari listened to the person, and they mustered the energy needed to make a small gap that was big enough for one person to enter at a time. The figure then moved to grab everyone one by one, moving fast, but not too fast over towards the gap and threw them in. Sumireko, Rumia, Cirno, Ko, Gummy, Shanghai, Mary, Satsujin, Suika, and Meiling were all carried into the portal. It was an easy task due to them all being entranced by the effects of the Fear Mist. They also tossed PB through the gap portal.
Once everyone was sent to safety, Yukari moved to enter herself. But was struck on the head however, and passed out immediately.
"Oh no." The figure said, watching the gap slowly close. They knew they had to go help, reaching over to Yukari so they could bring her over to the gap before it was too late. But before they could even touch her, their wristwatch began to beep loudly.
"WARNING: PARADOX IMMINENT! WARNING: PARADOX IMMINENT!"
"What!? No, are you kidding me!?" The figure said with both shock and annoyance. "How is saving her going to distort the timeline!?"
They wanted to complain and ignore the warning. But with their knowledge of how the space-time continuum worked, they could not take that risk. Instead, they were forced to flee, zipping out of the mansion at light speed moments before it completely collapsed with Yukari, Efena, and whoever else had resided inside.
The Scarlet Devil Mansion, home to people of various ethnicities and origins, a place where they could spend their peaceful days like family…Was now nothing but wreckage.
---
To be continued in ACT 2-7: Dwell Blind Upon the Siren's Song
---
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2023.03.25 03:25 AutoModerator [Get] Tony Robbins – Become Unshakeable Challenge 2023

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How do we get new results? We take new action. We become the type of person that takes consistent action in the direction of the results we want. Today is about expanding your identity and becoming MORE!
Day 3: Take Control & Create Your Own Economy
What if none of the headlines about recession and inflation affected you? When you are able to step out of the chaos and create your own economy, you can support yourself and your family no matter what else is going on. And it’s simpler than you might think…
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This is where everything comes together. You’ve spent 4 days gaining the tools you need to thrive in the coming year, and today, we will integrate what you’ve learned into WHO YOU ARE, so that when these 5 days are over, you don’t just go back to your old habits and identity. Today is where inspiration becomes TRANSFORMATION.
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2023.03.25 03:25 QuantumMick WeskerBeard pt5

Hello all, I hope you've been well, this story is going to lean more into WeskerBeard's darker machinations, so as you can tell this is going to be something a bit more of a "against the wall worthy" story. The cast mainly consists of me, Sapphire and WeskerBeard, but it does have a few others that were mentioned in prior stories.
Soooo, gather one, gather all as I tell you a strange tale of a rather fetid person, who could churn your gut like a milk maid does to milk. This retelling is from a time when the three of us decided to go out to a pub in the town, where WeskerBeard made my skin crawl like I had maggots writhing under it.
This tale starts much like the others in where I meet up with Sapphire and WeskerBeard at his parents house, surprisingly on this visit my interactions went well with his family, until his brother opened his stupid mouth. As I entered the house I greeted Trotter and Hog who dwelled in there own squalor almost merging with their chairs, as they sat staring at different screens only a meter or two away from one another they merely gave a grunt of acknowledgment, if I wanted to interact with these beings I'd have to get closer to them, close enough I could smell something that the smoke had covered up, as I got closer to Trotter the tainted air around him was, foul, like someone who would rather wash their hair with piss than shampoo, as they was afraid of dissolving away down the plug hole. This is when the boss of the house, or so he thought, decided to grace the room while spewing his verbal diarrhoea.
RB: Oh hey Mick, what are you doing here?
M: I'm just waiting for WeskerBeard and Sapphire to be done, as were going out for a bit.
RB: (Trying to push my buttons) 'how can you be friends with Sapphire knowing she gets shagged by WeskerBeard'
Well before I could retort with a remark that he sounds jealous and is probably getting bored of his hand with a dick shaped rut in it, Hog spoke up and shut him down.
H: RAGEBABY!, Don't be so disgusting talking about a woman like that.
Then Trotter added to the outburst.
T: How many times do I have to tell you to watch your mouth!?.
Ragebaby looking slightly deflated gathered his food, and slunk off up to his hovel to probably argue with kids in forums, or masturbate to something on the Internet.
Thankfully, WeskerBeard came down not to long after Ragebaby had skulked off with his food, as he entered the kitchen he gave me a flourished greeting and called me to head upstairs with him. I gave his parents a quick nod and said bye. Walking onto the stairs I dodged around clothing and other items that were just left on the floor, it felt like I was avoiding explosives in a minefield.
Walking passed the rooms that held their inhabitants I quickly looked in at Hermit gave him a wave as I passed, walking into his room feeling the carpet crunch for unknown reasons. Greeting Maniabeard I walked over to the other side of the room towards WeskerBeard's side as his brother followed me with his head as I walked on, not being subtle in the least as he craned his necked to hear us talk better.
S: I'm nearly ready, you look nice Mick.
M: 'Thanks, you're not too bad yourself' I said with a playful tone
M: What are you going out in WeskerBeard?
WB: Oh, my coat and this
By 'this' he was refering to his old dirty hoody that stank to high heaven, it had holes and multiple stains, and his jeans stains were trying to compete with the ones on his hoody, I nodded as I wasn't going to say anything. Sapphire told me that she had asked him to "put something clean on", but he decided that going to a pub full of people, smelling like he was unable to wipe while looking like he couldn't eat properly was the correct attire for a public setting.
After we were all ready, we set off for the bus stop, not having to wait too long for our bus to arrive. Within a few minutes we were seated and on our way into town. Unfortunately this time the traffic was heavy making the journey much longer and with WeskerBeard's wittering, he gushed on about Sapphire's RDR roleplay character, how she was "sexy" in one breath, then quickly changed to whining about how her character wasn't instantly fucking his character's brain out, not that he had that much to lose as it was. Sapphire retorted back to him "she'll go for who she finds the most interesting, that could even be a random stable hand you never know", WeskerBeard frowned at the thought of his Girlfriend's pretend character getting railed in the stables, I laughed at his agitation to Sapphire's statement. Looking over at me he asked my thoughts on the roleplay, so I answered him and talked to Sapphire also until we arrived in town getting off near our pub of choice.
Heading over to the large wooden double doors I pryed them open and held it for Sapphire, with WeskerBeard trailing in behind her after moaning he couldn't have a smoke yet as we had wanted to get some drinks in first, the pub was full of the normal types you could expect in an english pub, heading over to a few seats and getting settled in before going to the bar and getting a few drinks, after the first round WeskerBeard started to loosen up and talk more, freely, and these were things he should of kept to himself, like how he was getting aroused with Sapphire and just wanted "bend her over" he still had this idea in his head that we should have a threesome, I didn't know what to say to him with this.
M: Mate I like her, but I'm not going to do something she doesn't want to.
WB: Laughing, 'well yeah of course not' he said fiddling with his hands.
Feeling uncomfortable from how he spoke about my friend, I took a large gulp of my pint and told him I needed to use the toilet, quickly getting up I headed towards the bathrooms. As I passed Sapphire she told me she was "heading outside" with WeskerBeard. So, after finishing up I set a course for the outside seating area.
Getting through the doors I noticed WeskerBeard was smoking while sitting next to Sapphire, noticing me she waved me over trying to keep away from the smoke. I sat down next to WeskerBeard, I was handed a drink, I thanked Sapphire and turned to WeskerBeard who was desperately taking large drags of his cig like it was his only life line.
After a while Sapphire pardoned herself to go to the toilets and abandoned me to WeskerBeard. He had by now drank enough to get loose lips, turning to me he muttered.
WB: 'Hey Mick did you know, that Axel had a little brother'. In case you didn't know Axel was his anthro wolf character.
M: looking over at him a bit confused 'um, no I didn't, don't think you mentioned it before mate' I replied as I took another swig
WB: Checking over his shoulder then turning back to me, 'yeah he does', sometimes he gets a few of Sapphire's potions, an age potion and a sex change potion, he gets him to drink them then fucks him'.
He said this to me with a shit eating grin on his face, like he thought I would enjoy what he said, but no, no I did not like it. What he told me, fucking disgusted me.
From talking to Sapphire later on, she told me that her character wouldn't have those type of 'potions', as she had no "need for them", and the whole his "brother" idea, it was a lie as Alfie was just a small drawing that Sapphire drew one time and gave it the name. WeskerBeard had taken the character on as an incestual younger brother, without Sapphire's knowledge but this wouldn't be the only time that he would act this way, but Sapphire may have to fill you all in with that at a later time.
Getting back to that night though, my blood ran cold, as a chill ran down my back like I had just dove into a pile of snow in the nude, I couldn't get any words out as I was in shock at what just assaulted my ears, as these may have been just imaginary characters, but these were his thoughts and they were as fetid as his teeth.
As I was recovering Sapphire came back and took a seat near us, I wanted to tell her but couldn't find the time to do so in the night and still feel guilty to this day for it, (although Sapphire says she understands it was a hard thing to talk about).
We headed back inside not too long afterwards, we took up some space near the jukebox system and played a few personal favourites, like Rob Zombie's 'Dragula' (my choice as the new Twisted Metal trailer featured it). Not too long after WeskerBeard pushed Sapphire against the pillar that the system was attached to, he held her face and gave her a large kiss, this pissed her off as she dislikes PDAs, seeing this irritated me, as if he hadn't just told me about his twisted fantasy.
The rest of the night went well, then as we had drunk enough for this outing, we decided to get going back to our homes.
This next part isn't long enough to fit into a story of it's own, but I'll just squeeze it in here as more evidence of him being sick in the head.
This takes place in the same location just on a different night, we were a few drinks in by this time, sat in the corner at the back away from most people. We started talking about adult things, as close friends sometimes do we were discussing our 'kinks' not to long into the convo, Sapphire had gone to get WeskerBeard and herself another drink leaving me alone with him as she couldn't trust him with the bank card, as he was hopeless at times, by this I was told that if he had 'control' he would spend all of their money, on games.
Yet again he chose this to be the best time to lean in and tell me more of his little secrets.
WB: Hey Mick can I tell you something?
M: Moving to lean in to hear him better and nodding, 'Yeah sure, what is it?'
WB: Glancing around ' I like kids' he chuckled as his breath hit my nose smelling like he'd just eaten old carrion.
M: Snapping at him as people were near by, but thankfully not close enough to hear him 'What the fuck do you mean you by that?' I said with a growl behind my words
WB: Noticing my tone panicked 'urm, I-I mean like 17 year olds you know'
Even though I had a few drinks in me I wasn't drunk enough to let this comment slide, this time and when he stalked off to the toilets, I informed Sapphire of what he had said when she came back. She couldn't her me properly over the music playing and she had developed a small ear infection thar dampened her hearing. I chose to tell her when we went outside where there wasn't as much noise.
Unfortunately WeskerBeard came back and for some unknown reason, he was glued to her hip all night, making it hard to let her know, but I managed to do so while out of ear shot from WeskerBeard, to which Sapphire looked in total shock. I was informed that later on, when we parted ways. She had given him both barrels, as he rightfully deserved.
Well this is it for this part. I hope I gave you a good enough, anger endusing tale of cringe, that might of got him against "The wall", with that said.
Keep well and stay safe, your OP Mick.
submitted by QuantumMick to ReddXReads [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 03:25 cartoonsforever My predictions for episode 4

For starters, here are two things I pretty much know for certain right off the bat
  1. It’s going to be a send up to old Slasher movies: the main setting of this episode looks to be some kind of camp, a location that’s known to be the stock hunting grounds for a Slasher; let’s not forget how they’re playing up the horror aspect of Murder Drones for these teasers either
  2. It’s going to be a game changer going forward: now those may be strong words for a series that’s dropped a new bombshell for the audience pretty much every episode but there has to be a reason why Glitch is being so cryptic with this one, right?
With that out of the way, where do I think this is going? Let’s set the stage first: I believe this episode is going to focus on N and V as they make a visit to this camp they remember from their past lives in an attempt to jog more of these memories. However, things are complicated by the arrival of this episode’s Slasher: Tessa, an ordinary human made menacing by a dehumanizing mask and a simple blade. And to make matters worse, N and V’s weapons are programmed to not fire on humans, leaving them to rely on their wits alone lest they fall victim to whatever Tessa’s “maintenance” means. Uzi would’ve been of much help regarding that…….. if she hadn’t mysteriously vanished sometime after they got to the camp with Tessa obviously being the prime suspect for her disappearance even though she denies ever seeing someone like her. And it’d eventually turn out that she was telling the truth as a mysterious Murder Drone N and V only catch glimpses of throughout the episode would turn out to not be J as Tessa thought but rather a transformed Uzi! Something catalyzed her full transformation from a Worker to a Murder Drone here and Uzi’s figurative bloodlust for humans has mixed with her now literal bloodlust, resulting in her attacking and thus inadvertently saving N and V from Tessa. If Tessa isn’t outright killed by Uzi, she’d probably be rescued by J while her former teammates are left to stew on just what the hell happened here.
submitted by cartoonsforever to MurderDrones [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 03:24 Many_Discount_2281 29 [M4F] Washington State elementary teacher

Why hello everyone my name is Gage and I'm 29 years old located in Washington state. I thought I would give reddit a shot to meet and talk to people. I will list some interesting things about myself.
  1. I teach 23 six-year-olds at once every single day so I believe I have the most patience anyone can have lol. Even though it’s very difficult at times, I absolutely love it and wouldn't trade it for anything else with seeing their faces light up when they accomplish something.
  2. I work out about 4-5 times a week so I feel like I'm very disciplined when it comes to my schedule.
  3. I'm an extra ball of goofiness with my personality (I'm with kids all day so how could I not be like that right?)
  4. Whenever I'm not teaching, I'm either playing video games, working out, watching sports, hanging out with friends.
  5. I'm a consistent communicator and feel like communication is the most important part of making things work.
  6. I'm just a positive person in general and love to bring others up as much as I can!
Here's a picture of me if you're curious! I hope to hear from you soon :)
https://imgur.com/a/7xhyLxO
submitted by Many_Discount_2281 to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 03:23 FaithlessnessSea5710 The Kirra Hart Story.

There’s a girl in australia named kirra hart. Kirra is a 15-year-old girl from sunshine Coast. Her "best friends" invited her to sleepover at their house and ended up doing some horrible things to Kirra. Chloe Denman (14), Rhynisha Grech (15) and Rhynishas sister Shanaya Grech (12). Each of them tortured her differently Chloe threatened her with a knife. Rhynisha bashed kirra punching her in the face many times over and over again trumatising this poor girl for life. Lastly Shanaya filmed her sister, and Chloe torture this poor girl for four hours straight, and laughing and treating it as a joke. For four hours, these girls Chloe Denman, Rhyisha Crech stabbed and bash3d this innocent girl that thought they were her "best friends". Chloe and Rynisha bullied, abused, called her names, shamed her, and tortured her for four hours straight, leaving poor kirra trumatised for life. After everything Kirra runs away from them finally and they go to look for her and posted something on insta gram saying “it was funny asf and they almost killed her”. Kirra went to a hospital and she got her help she needed. Who knows how innocent kirra is? There has to be something that set these girls off. They then said they are so sorry and they were “forced” to do it. Chloe said she didn’t have anything to do with it and she was sorry. Shyanaya said she cuts her self and to stop telling her to kill herself because it isn’t funny. But she stomped on kirras face and recorded it. Rynisha said she was sorry and that she also didn’t do anything but she did the most to kirra. These girls ruined kirras life for good and nothing that kirra did deserved to be this bad as a outcome they went to far. All there giving to these girls are a warning and a fine for what they did to her. #Justiceforkirrahart
submitted by FaithlessnessSea5710 to justiceforkirrahart [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 03:23 Firsttimefishing Has anyone seen this Amazon commercial yet? It's gross how much pro-pitt propaganda is pushed.

So I've been seeing this ad a lot, essentially it's a loving family who owns a pitbull, and the pitbull is just a playful rascal as he tears up the house, eerily reminding me of the videos here of pits mauling random animals/human beings. The solution? Adopt a much smaller dog, and the peaceful, loving, family friendly pitbull just walks up and sniffs the smaller dog (future victim) as if it were a friendly lab, or golden retriever. It's amazing to me how ignorant the average person is compared to people who have had real world experience with these beasts. They think they're trustworthy..insane. Sorry for the rant.
Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bueUljGJ2M
submitted by Firsttimefishing to BanPitBulls [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 03:23 Professional_Exit859 How do I deal with this?

Is there a therapist in here??
Bare with me. I have a new son (3months). I have in Laws who crossed my only 4 boundaries I made to protect baby.. I’ll put them below then list the predicament.
-MIL and FIL camped outside in waiting room at hospital for “moral support” when I asked no one to come until we were home. They didn’t get to see baby and when SO told them to leave FIL was “embarrassed”. He had to ask several times for them to get it..Even tho we stated multiple times our 4 boundaries. Boundary 1 crossed- no visitors at hospital.
-SO other felt bad for FIL and told them they could come visit next day at the hospital 😒. I agreed (shame on me) but I was exhausted to argue. MIL showed up with “cold” saying she was almost fully recovered and wearing a mask but then took off mask to hold my son?? Coughing…What’s the point? He wasn’t even 24 hours old.. Boundary 2 crossed- under no circumstance is anyone to visit LO when sick.
-3 weeks PP I decided to go visit in-laws with baby while SO was at work. I turned my back and my Step FIL kissed my child twice. I heard it. He gets cold sores… luckily he didn’t have one. I brought it up to my MIL after I left and she confirmed he did and asked him to not do it again. If I’d of saw him I would of asked him to not too again or take baby away. MIL said he stated he knew the boundary existed and “couldn’t help himself”. She was defending him by saying “FIL just has so much love for it overwhelmed him” Boundary 3 broken - no kissing baby anywhere. My LO is almost 3 months old and I still haven’t kissed him because I carry the cold sore virus so it really IRKS me that he kissed him. LIKE ENRAGES ME. I feel he took advantage of my kindness when I was freshly postpartum. When I brought it up to him he said it was almost like my baby was asking for a kiss… 🤮 predator
-baby was 6 weeks old.. Both Brother in laws fly into town to visit. They stay over at my house until 1 am first night in town to visit baby.. and every night after that… it was really not that cool to keep our house up that late being we have 2 kids and every time I’d try to put them to bed there was an excuse. This one is my partners fault for not holding up this boundary but it’s still annoying. Boundary 4 broken- no guest besides grandparents until baby has had vaccines so he can build up some immunity.
After my BILs left town I told my SO I needed some time because my anxiety was at an all time high with just the blatant disrespect. I told him I forgive but I have a hard time trusting our son around them. MIL then text me asking about how we were doing… I was busy so I didn’t respond right away and she texted SO if something was wrong with me and her… He tells his mom that I’m upset about the hospital and everything listed so she tells him she will back off for awhile. It’s been 3 weeks and I have had a lot of relief HOWEVER… she is so depressed over it. CALLED HIM HISTORICALLY CRYING TODAY. He said he feels horrible for her and we need to make up. She’s not an awful person and I feel like she got the point of “don’t cross my boundaries with my kid” but how do I approach her now?? I don’t feel bad for setting those boundaries so she will not get an I’m sorry I never intended for him to tell her AGAIN why I needed some time because her and I had already worked through those issues. I just think she can be a bit over bearing and I needed a breather but he thinks I now owe it to her to reach out to her and “include” her in things.. how do I go about reaching out to her with out it being awkward and her coming at me super emotional and overbearing.
My SO thinks I’m like soulless because it doesn’t affect me that she is so upset but my own mother is toxic I’m used to the historical crying and it doesn’t phase me.. I have also never disrespected my in laws sooo idk why they’re acting like this.
**In these past three weeks I have sent her a text here and there and lots of pictures with baby so there has been contact
submitted by Professional_Exit859 to inlaws [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 03:22 Blursed-Penguin No Rest for the Wicked 20

FirstPreviousNext

---

In keeping with the long-standing tradition of militaries around the world to never actually finish doing anything, the end of the initial invasion of Omen was declared on that day. Not the end of hostilities, nor of combat, nor even of major combat operations. The end of the initial invasion. The backs of their forces on-world had been broken, but they were far from done fighting.

Darren wasn’t too enthused.

The order to scramble came just as he finished unloading crates of supplies from the newest freighter into the system. Sighing, he grabbed his rifle and ran for the hangar deck of the Bunker Hill, donning his armor on the way. The Dark Sparrow sat fueling on the deck, about half of the platoon already aboard. Once on himself, Darren learned the circumstances of what had happened.

A number of servicemen had gone rogue while on duty in Omen’s capital, holing up in a building and detonating a canister of chlorine gas. Dozens of civilians were already dead, and they had warded off all attempts by military police to apprehend them.

“Brainwashed?” Darren turned to Pavlov.

“Yeah, definitely.” Pavlov said, consulting a flash card containing the signs of Poslushi neuroforming. It had been noticed that the brainwashed had an eerie calm about them, but were otherwise hard to detect, being nearly identical to their prior selves. Darren wondered when the government would stop panicking about national security and declassify the whole thing about brainwashing.

The helicopter lifted off the ground and started the somewhat short flight towards the capital, apparently named High Unlerin. It was already visible on the horizon; for a major city, it wasn’t very large. Then, Darren saw that it actually blended into the surrounding forest, concrete and metal fading into lumber and dirt roads. The city center was built in the flowy, vibrant style of the Poslushi; the previous had probably been demolished to make room. However, the Poslushi were far more regular in their construction than the Ovinis, making the Rangers’ jobs easier.

Poslushi cities were built in a honeycomb style, which made them horrendous for automobile traffic but otherwise efficient for saving space. It made sense, considering the Poslushi had no wheeled vehicles, using nimble, legged machines in the place of cars. Each city “block” was its own building, constructed in a rough spire shape, sometimes with a statue or similar art piece to top the towers.

This particular one was bright blue, with a structure composed of multiple parts that stretched upward and melded together like wisps of flame. However, it was partially obscured at the ground level by a cloud of sickly yellow-green gas, and a multitude of dark, limp forms lay strewn about. The whole block had been cordoned off, with barriers and hazard-suited guards abound.

“Jesus. Why would they kill their own citizens?” Pavlov mused, gazing down at the numerous corpses below.

“My best guess is scorched earth or maybe trying to induce some sort of terrorism to make our jobs harder.” Simmons proposed, shrugging.

“Well, it isn’t anything we can’t solve with a little bit of elbow grease and judicious application of firepower. Nothing like 8.5mm to dissuade the bad guys, eh?” Sparrow remarked.

“Nothing indeed.” Darren said. The helicopter hovered over the building, its doors sliding open and the lights on the roof flashing green.

“Go, go, go!” Pavlov barked, donning his gas mask and leaping from the Dark Sparrow. The rest followed shortly after, Darren’s heart leaping into his throat before his jetpack kicked on and sent him gently drifting into the asphalt. The gas mask was hot and not well-ventilated, but it was better than the water in his lungs turning to hydrochloric acid and dissolving him from the inside out. At least it wasn’t VX or some equally-terrible nerve agent.

Darren loaded and primed his rifle, finding the rest of his platoon and regrouping. Once gathered, they split up into their combat teams, spreading out to cover all entrances to the building. Darren, Pavlov, and Simmons went to the south doors, while two six-man teams breached the other, more heavily-trapped entrances. Darren ran his hands over the door, checking for anything that could indicate a trap or mine. Nothing.

Cringing, he mustered his courage and ripped the door open, expecting the entrance to explode. It didn’t, somehow. Darren leaned over, rifle brandished–

Thwip. A bullet whizzed past Darren’s head, the shot sounding a fraction of a second later. Yelping, Darren ducked back behind the doorframe as Pavlov discharged a shot from his grenade launcher. The shell exploded in a burst of light and sound, and Darren entered shortly afterward, setting his sights upon the blinded shooter and firing twice. The soldier staggered back, then collapsed. Darren methodically advanced down the hallway, keeping an eye to each side in case someone emerged from there.

This place was quiet. Too quiet. Their intel showed that there were at least a dozen rogue men in this building, but where were the gunshots as the other two teams encountered their own enemies? Surely they wouldn’t guard one entrance and abandon the others?

“Hey, there’s a note.” Pavlov said, stooping down to grab a small, lightly-bloodstained piece of paper from the ground next to the corpse. Darren kept an eye out as he started to read.

To the esteemed units of the United States Armed Forces, or whomever else may find this,

My name is Sgt. Philip Halloway, and I am most likely dead. I am alone within this building; it has been arranged for the numbers to be bungled to increase the urgency of your response. I have chosen to hasten my exit from this world by firing a warning shot; if I had intended to hit you, you would not be reading this. Don’t worry about me. I’ve nothing left to lose anyways, and I’ve chosen this task for myself.

The events of the last few years, namely the Contact Wars and the recent outbreak of hostilities with the Poslushi, have left many embittered, including me. You may know us as the Mankind Defense Home Guard, or the MDHG for simplicity’s sake. You will most likely hear more from us in the coming time.

“The hell does that mean?” Pavlov squinted at the text.

“Go on, keep going.” Darren urged him.

First things first, we do not believe that humankind holds any special place in the cosmos, that we are any form of “master race,” or the like. For that, contact any of the dozens of nationalist, jingoist, or downright neo-Nazi groups out there, to which you will find us far preferable. However, that is not to say that we do not believe the alien to be an existential threat to our way of life and/or survival as a species. Like any threat, they are to be neutralized with efficiency and without sentimentality, up to and including the great taboo of genocide, should it become unfortunately necessary.

This unsavory act was an important step in the preparation of mankind for a thousand more crimes like this, done so that no greater atrocity need be committed. Think of this as sowing salt in the fields of war. One day, you’ll thank us for our insight when your children walk the stars freely and without fear, and violence is an evil long forgotten.

Thank you for your time.

P.S.: Check my chest. No secret keeps forever.

Darren inspected the vest of the dead soldier, the blood-drenched graphene augmented with a strange pouch not present on the standard-issue model. Inside was… oh, no.

A tiny webcam, a little red light on its side blinking, probably still broadcasting. And it had heard Halloway’s entire speech. Darren picked it up and clicked a button on its backside twice to switch it off. Then, he activated his radio.

“Platoon, we might want to relay this to command. Looks like we just participated in one hell of a publicity stunt.”



“Director Hoover? We’ve got a Colonel Jasper here to talk to you. It seems important.”

“Send him in.” the Director of the Central Intelligence Agency spoke into the phone. The door to his office creaked open and a hulking soldier entered, in his old dress blues, his chest festooned with medals of all kinds. He had an imperious, authoritative air about him, but it was not something the head of the most feared intelligence organization in the world would let sway him.

“Director Hoover.” Colonel Jasper saluted.

“Colonel, you mind telling us precisely what your underling was doing gassing a number of civilians on Omen? You’re lucky we found you before the Hague did.”

“The perpetrator undertook this action on his own and with no intervention from us, even if we were mentioned. We don’t control what people do in their downtime.” Jasper shrugged.

“Well, you should, if they’re going to do this. We’ve been trying to establish good relations with the populace and your little maverick’s just set us back severely. You had better hope he acted alone, or your group’s going on the list we use for terrorists. And you don’t want to be on that list, no matter how tough you think you are.”

“If you’re trying to intimidate me, it won’t work.” Jasper said, narrowing his eyes and leaning over the desk. “I’ve fought in the Anathema Encounter, what makes you think I’ll–”

You will not mention that incident!” the Director shouted, slamming his palms on the desk and standing up. Supposedly, Director Hoover was one of the foremost “agents of regime correction” in the service before his appointment, and Jasper could see the killer in him as he postured himself almost predatorily. Then, he collected himself and spoke with measured calm.

“It’s bad enough that you know about Anathema. Do what you must, if you believe that you can rally the people to your cause. But the moment we find any evidence that you ordered this, you’re going away for a long time. And if you so much as say a word about Anathema to anyone, you’ll be in a blacksite before the week’s out. Do I make myself perfectly clear?”

Jasper sighed. “Yes, sir.”

“Good. Now leave. Next time, I’m not going to be nice.”



Hell on Earth wasn’t a really accurate way to describe war. War was a lot worse. In Hell, things were uniformly terrible, and no one was there without cause. In war, things got better just long enough to leave one complacent when they got worse, and it was filled with people caught inside by plain bad luck.

These notions were unknown to the United States Air Force. From so high up and so far away, war was impersonal. You didn’t have to look the man you shot in the eye. No scream of terror, no keening of anguish could carry twenty kilometers into the air, after all.

The bomber squadron was near-serene as it shot over the landscape of Omen. The only sound was the consistent whine of jet engines and the occasional peal of thunder from storms that appeared on the horizon in a flash and vanished as quickly as they came. The blackness of space was readily visible above.

The remainders of the Poslushi garrison had long since seen the settlements of the planet as a lost cause, retiring to the hamlets of the forests to continue the fight. It was a shame; many of the airmen had been looking forward to a tropical paradise to vacation in.

The pilot of the B-60 in the lead turned to the weapons systems officer. “Get ready to drop the payload.” the WSO nodded, tapping a set of buttons on his control console. In the bomb bay, the electric fuses of the dozen bombs activated simultaneously. All the while, the bomber shrieked towards its target at Mach 6.

Three hundred kilometers out, the squadron dispersed, each bomber flying to its own target. There was no longer any worry of enemy interception to be had; the brave pilots of the Bunker Hill had all but annihilated the already small air forces of the garrison.

A minute later, they were within two hundred kilometers. Hypersonic aircraft were, true to their name, rather fast.

“Drop our speed and pop open the bomb bay.” the navigator ordered. Rapidly, the aircraft descended to Mach 3, the great doors in the plane’s belly sliding open. If they opened the bay doors while at cruising speed, the immense change in air resistance could tear the bomber apart. Still, it was moving fast, far too quick for the manually-aimed Poslushi air defenses to track.

“Three… two… drop.” the pilot counted. Nodding, the WSO pressed a button and the payload began falling from the plane at regular intervals. One bomb every two seconds, a dozen bombs total, leaving a trail of falling bombs twenty-four kilometers long. The payload plummeted towards the ground for a few short seconds, and then the tiny explosive charges in the casings detonated, blowing the bombs apart and leaving in their place a whirlwind of swirling, falling papers. Written in the language of the Ovinis, they were a warning, telling any civilians in the area to vacate immediately before the worst happened.

It was no empty threat. Twenty-four hours later, they would repeat this route with a far different payload. The Poslushi would also do well to heed their words, because this time they would be carrying napalm bombs, and a lot more than twelve of them.

War was not hell. It was far worse. However, mankind knew how to make war seem like hell, more literally than not in some cases.

(AN: Forgot to celebrate #10, so let's celebrate #20! Woo! Anyways, I don't exactly like war, as you can see. However, it makes exploring the consequences of a fictional war quite interesting. Just wait until things really start to escalate!

Love 'ya!)
submitted by Blursed-Penguin to HFY [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 03:22 Clean-Ad8560 How I Raised My SAT Score (1230-->1520)

Hi everyone, I raised my SAT score from a 1230 (practice test 10) in July 2022 to a 1520 in the March 2023 SAT. (8 months: 290 point increase)
For context I got an 1140 in my PSAT10 (October 2021) and a 1390 on my PSAT11 (October 2022)
I hope this helps people who think they can't increase their score, or need some inspo on how to study.
STEPS
OVERALL TIPS (TL;DR)
Good luck everyone!
submitted by Clean-Ad8560 to Sat [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 03:21 HauntingClaim Liberating myself from a lifetime of societal pressure (25)

Hello all ! I'm a non-binary (they/them) who just started figuring out who they were (just came out.) I've passed my entire life living through an absolute and intense body dysmorphia. To the point where I developed a phobia of my own reflection. Through psychological abuse by my father and my relentless pursue of always being in a couple (from 14 years old until now, 25) combined with my habit of trying to be the person people want me to be, I have basically stopped questioning my identity completely 11 years ago.
Recently, through being put on work leave due to having extreme panic attacks and just struggling with life in general, finally leaving my girlfriend of 8 years, I have figured out much about myself.
It came to me without my own input, an idea seeping itself into my mind... What if I were female? What if I just woke up a girl? And the idea stuck with me, deeply. It then grew in my mind, as I realized I was going through gender dysphoria. It also cleared itself up to me, as I realized I did not want to be a transsexual, I simply wanted to be much more feminine.
And suddenly it struck me. I decided to untie my hair (which go all the way down to my waist) that I had kept in a bun for so long, shaved my beard entirely and took a good look at myself. The absolute euphoria I felt as I realized I looked much more feminine than I had ever thought. I've had a beard for the past 9 years. For the first time in my life I felt good in my skin. I kept looking at myself in the mirror and finding myself cute and pretty. It almost made me shy.
This realization has made me feel so good, I can't even describe how much it improved my mental health. My friends, mother and sisters all saw it in me, beaming with absolute pride and happiness, smiling way more than I ever have.
I've started buying new clothes to fit my new image of myself. (Also need to get better at shaving, this is my first time in 11 years.) I'm at the start of a long way and I may try all sorts of things, but most of all, the future looks bright! I'm also going to start working out at the pool to get a little slimmer (already muscular, would rather lose some mass overall.)
Just wanted to share my story, it has been so enlightening and nice. I'm sure we can all be beautiful, cute and pretty femboys !
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2023.03.25 03:20 ogreatgames Wheel Of Fortune: Win The Grand Prize - PS3 Game

Wheel Of Fortune: Win The Grand Prize - PS3 Game

![video](ow5exdo7lnd91 " This is a game show in which contestants must spin a giant wheel to win money. Visit https://ogreatgames.com/products/wheel-of-fortune-2012 to buy these item(s) & more while supplies last! -- ")
#playstation3 #classic #game --
Wheel Of Fortune for Sony PlayStation 3. Wheel of Fortune is a classic game show where contestants answer general knowledge questions to win prizes. Players spin a wheel with letters on it and attempt to spell an agreed-upon word or phrase. This hilarious game show is full of high-quality content and entertainment. With all the luck you'll need, this wheel of fortune game will have you spinning and winning every time. Play the wheel spin and see how many different prizes you can win! --
Hey check out similar videos here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05uKspxQ89s&list=PLVduyMnVQjzNYPljUBqwgAXdMPQ9CEKWY
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2023.03.25 03:19 bewilderingkalechips My ex best friend is still obsessing and playing the victim 3 years later

I cut off my best friend three years ago after we had been best friends for 10 years. I’ll call her D. There was a lot of stuff that happened before it got to that point but I’ll try to keep it from turning into a novel.
I was 6 years old when we first became friends. Our Mums met each other at a homeschooling group as I was homeschooled at the time. After my mum brought me around to her house we became inseparable pretty much and I was at her house every weekend for the next 10 years. Her family became my family.
Once I turned 8 I decided I was bored of homeschooling and needed to be around other kids a lot more so I went back to school. D was my only friend before this. This is when problems started to arise. When I saw D on the weekend I mentioned some friend from school and she got angry at me. She said stuff like “why are you hanging out with other people I’m your friend” , “why do you need to have other friends when you have me”, “are you not my best friend anymore?”. This would happen any time I mentioned another friend so I just learnt to stop talking about them.
It got worse once I started high school and she started getting more and more jealous of my other friends. I never did anything with them if she was going to be there and hung out with her separately. My mum said to me I should try and introduce her to my other friends because I didn’t include her in anything I did with them. I wasn’t sure about this but I really wanted her to get along with them so I decided to give it a go and invited her and my school friends over for a sleepover. She was nasty to them on purpose the whole time and made them really uncomfortable and a lot of them wanted to go home.
She would call me when I was at school and if I was in class and didn’t pick up she would spam my phone with messages telling me I was a shitty friend and I made her cry. This would happen if I didn’t call her back or reply to her messages within 10 minutes. Even if I told her I was busy at that time of the day. I should have ended it right then and there and I don’t know why I didn’t.
I never told her anything I didn’t want getting out to everyone because she would tell her mum straight away who would tell mine. Sometimes she would tell my mum straight away. I couldn’t trust her with anything. I decided I needed some space from her so I told her that and explained to her why. I had to block her number because she was spamming my phone with calls and messages telling me I’m a horrible person and I made her cry.
Fast forward to my sixteenth birthday and I hadn’t seen or spoken to her in a few weeks. I told my mum I wasn’t going to invite D especially because of her behaviour towards my other friends and because I was having space from her. I asked her not to tell D’s mum. She said I was mean for doing that and I should give her another chance. I had already given her too many chances over the years and I told her no.
Then I find out the day before my birthday that my mum had gone behind my back and invited her anyway. I was super pissed off at this and told her to tell D’s mum she can’t come. But my mum said I couldn’t have the party if I don’t let her come. I didn’t want to let it ruin everything so I decided to put up with it.
Well as expected she was awful to my other friends and was ruining the mood so I told her I was sick of her being nasty and that I didn’t want her there if she was going to be rude to everyone. She got up and sulked in my room for the rest of the night.
A few days later a few of my friends were showing me messages she had sent them saying that it was their fault I wasn’t talking to her and that if they didn’t stay away from me she would hurt them. She even said she had a gun at home and wasn’t afraid to shoot them. I was fucking furious and I messaged her and told her I never wanted to see her again. I got dozens of messages back telling me what a horrible person I am and “how could I do this to her”. It was at this point I realised she really did have issues.
It’s been three years and I haven’t spoken to her since. My mum is still friends with her mum and a few days ago I came up in their conversation and D’s mum said that D still isn’t over what happened between us and that I “broke her”. I thought she might have realised in the three years it’s been what she did wrong. Like wow, I’m so sorry you threatened my other friends, I’m so sorry you emotionally abused me our entire friendship. I finally felt free after cutting her off and I haven’t thought about her in a long time until now because I have moved on. It’s been 3 years and she’s still obsessing over it and playing the victim. I feel sorry for her.
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2023.03.25 03:19 Dramatic_Row_141 old tattoo itchy and raised near new tattoo

i have a tattoo (1 year old) on my arm that has become itchy and raised in the last couple days, there’s also 2-3 very small spots that have fluid coming out, not dripping or leaking but just looks wet after i scratched my arm. it’s happened a few times before which didn’t really concern me as it went away shortly after i noticed. what’s different this time is that about a week ago i got a new tattoo right beside it that is obviously still healing, so now i’m wondering if the old tattoo is having its own reaction or if it’s being influenced by the new one. right now the skin is a bit warm but i assume it was because i was scratching it quite a bit. has this happened to anyone before? i’m unsure if i should just let it be or talk to my artist/ddermatologist. any advice would be very appreciated!!
edit: i hope this is okay to post, i don’t really understand reddit or how to navigate it i just know basics of how to post or comment lol
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2023.03.25 03:19 bankingonme Adolescent Puppy Biting on Walks

So for the past 2 weeks my 10-month old rescue has been biting me on walks. It started with turning around and getting zoomies at the end of long walks and has evolved into something that can happen at any place or time, no matter how long the walk is. Tonight as soon as we left the house he bit my shoelaces and then lunged at me. It seems to be only me though, and my mom is fine with when she holds his leash while we walk, which is frustrating bc I am with him all the time and walk him in the mornings.
His puppy biting in general never really got fully solved as he didn’t respond well and to us saying “ow”, but I have been trying to be consistent with leaving the room when he does so.
Any help is appreciated. Our walks have been the best form of exercise for him and I miss not being attacked on every one lol.
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2023.03.25 03:18 Slvmoon AITA for telling my girlfriend I'm getting her a rock for Christmas?

First off, this is not actually my story but my dad's whom asked me to post when I mentioned this subreddit. Second, this is over 40 years old so that may be relevant but really means there's no need to recommend they break up. Yes, English is my first (and let's be honest, really only) language so mistakes are entirely on me.
Let's call my dad Pete and my mom Linda.
When my parents were dating apparently early on (this is currently being debated by them and is either a few months officially dating but knowing each other for a few years or back together after a long distance break) Pete told Linda he was getting her a rock for Christmas and that she would love it.
So Christmas comes around and Pete gifts Linda a fossilized fish (so not technically a rock). Linda starts crying which confuses Pete as this was a really well preserved fossilized fish. He decides to ask Linda's friend, Emily, why. Emily told him Linda was expecting a diamond which was an epiphany for Pete as apparently he didn't realize how serious Linda actually was about the relationship.
For background Pete's parents owned a rock store (think geologists/archeology not jewelry) and he collects rocks. Linda also loved (actual) rocks (she was a science major) so there had been previous rock conversations (?).
After the rock that's not a rock, Pete asked his parents to go to Linda's parents to assist in showing his commitment which helped smooth out the miscommunication.
Back to current day, Linda still thinks Pete was a bit of an ass for telling her to expect a rock for Christmas but instead gifting her a fossilized fish, even if it is cool looking. Pete thinks the rock was an awesome gift and that telling her to expect a rock didn't automatically mean a diamond.
Is Pete an AH for telling his then girlfriend he'd get her a rock for Christmas?
submitted by Slvmoon to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 03:18 AnswerSmith how old is jennifer aniston

submitted by AnswerSmith to QuestionNanswers [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 03:18 pepperminticedmocha My sister feels like a stranger

I know people are full of secrets but my sister (22F) is someone who i really feel like i don't know. Yes, ive been living with her my whole life. Im 20 years old but everyday i find things that are more and more suspicious. About 2 days ago, I went to a viewing along with a funeral the next day. The person who died was our pastor who we have known for 10 years. The pastors wife died due to cancer about a year ago and i know our pastor was having a really rough time. He was about 75-80 years old, (they were together for 45 years) i believe. For 3 months, my sister used him for money and rides. Shes basically a bum who just uses the people around her. Our pastor, which i felt, was at a very vulnerable state especially with the death of his wife felt very lonely and i want to believe he just wanted company. The day of the viewing, while viewing the open casket, my sister cried. She cried till she couldn't anymore and i told her to just talk to me about the happy moments with him and we both shared our favorite stories. While she's showing me the pictures of him, she jumps on their messages. Unintentionally, I looked over her phone and the messages were very personal. The pastor is calling my sister "love" and saying things like "let me go see you".... I felt played with. I know shes grown but how could you show up at his funeral and look at his family like nothing? I know for a fact that the pastors family knows. The same picture that she showed me, they put at on his slideshow during the funeral. Strangely, the pastors family kept things short with my family even though its been 10 years of knowing each other. Most of the pastors kids who are (30M) (30M) (35M) (40F) were all laughing and trying to celebrate his life, but with my family, they just shook our hand and kept it moving. I might be overthinking but there has been other occasions were my sister has done our family wrong and has kept many secrets that end up coming to light anyways. This is so weird..... Just wanted to share
submitted by pepperminticedmocha to offmychest [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 03:17 KillerOrangeCat Three New Creepy True Stories 3 24 2023

Three New Creepy True Stories

Number One: Motel

This happened to me and my girlfriend when we were travelling across country. We had to stay in various motels because all though she was okay with sleeping in our car, I was never able to do that. She could fall asleep with her head on the window at the drop of a hat, but I would be up all night trying my best to fall asleep.

We didn’t make reservations or anything like that. We just drove until we got tired and began looking for a motel with a vacancy.

Maybe on the third night of our trip, we had a pretty creepy experience with a motel that we found. I could tell driving into it that I wasn’t going to like it too much. We were in a pretty rural area and it looked pretty run down. But I was exhausted and needed to get some sleep, so we decided to spend the night there.

We got into our room and began getting ready to get some sleep. Suddenly, the phone began ringing. Figuring that it was the office I picked it up and answered it.

“You’re wife’s cute,” the voice on the other end told me. “I can’t wait until I am sleeping in bed with her.”

I wanted to say something back, but whomever was on the other end hung up immediately.

My girlfriend asked me what happened and I explained it to her. Maybe I shouldn’t have, because it frightened her. But if we were to get another call, I thought she should probably be prepared now. Not that I was expecting anyone to call back.

But about 10 minutes later, the phone rang again. I decided to answer it, thinking that it was likely the caller from before. And I was right.

“Time’s running out,” the voice told me. “Soon I will be in bed with your wife.” Then he immediately hung up.

We were very freaked out by that point. Gathering our stuff up, we decided to go check with the office.

We told them about the calls, but it was obvious it wasn’t coming from him. I had considered it, because he was the only one who should have known that we were in that room. But the voice wasn’t even close to sounding like the other. We asked if he had any idea what was going on and he said he had no idea.

We asked him if we could change rooms. We figured that maybe someone just knew the number to that room and was giving us a hard time or something. So he put us into another room on the other side of the motel.

We went to the room. At this point, I was very tired. I knew that it wouldn’t take long for me to fall asleep. However, I didn’t get a chance to.

We had only been in the room a few minutes before the phone began ringing again. My girlfriend and I both immediately got tense. I decided to answer the phone.

“Changing rooms won’t change the fact that I will be sleeping with your wife,” the voice on the other side of the phone said to me. Then, like all of the previous times, the phone hung up.

My girlfriend immediately knew what had happened. We talked about what we were going to do. I was exhausted, but now we were both on edge. We had no idea if this was a prank or if someone was actually going to do something. But we also knew that at that point, there was no way that we could get any sleep. Someone obviously knew the phone numbers in the rooms and was also watching us. That is the only way they could have known that we had switched rooms.

We decided that we needed to just check out and get back on the road. We would find another motel.

We gathered our things again and then left the room. We both felt very conspicuous, walking outside of the room. We felt eyes on us, that whoever had called us was now watching us. So we decided to put our stuff in the car before going in and telling the clerk that we were going to check out.

When we got to the car, however, we were stunned to see that all four of our tires had been slashed. So we just got more scared and immediately went to the clerk and asked him to call the police.

We could have brushed off the phone calls as being a prank, even with the switching of rooms. But seeing the tires cut made it so much more real. It really made us believe that someone had been watching us and was intent on hurting us.

Unfortunately, the police couldn’t do very much. There were a lot of guests in the motel and they couldn’t wake everyone up and question them. The most they could do was look around a little bit and make a report. Our car was taken to a mechanic and we rode along with the police to there.

It was a really long time before everything was taken care of. I was a very long time before I was able to get a good night’s sleep.

Number Two: Night Ride

This happened to me when I was 13 years old, but I still remember it as clearly as if it happened today. I had some uncles who were pretty close to me in terms of age. And a lot of times in the summer, if I went over to my grandma’s house, we would go for rides in the back of a pickup truck. I especially loved doing this at night because it was very, very creepy to do. And back in those days, I was looking for anything that could creep me out to entertain me.

This was a bit of an impromptu visit in mid summer. It was really hot outside, as I remember. This was back in the day when we had glass bottles of soda, not plastic ones. And I recall this mostly because we were stocked up on bottles of Mountain Dew.

My two uncles decided at night that they wanted to go for a drive through the hills. My brother and my cousin were with us and they wanted to do it too. So we loaded up in the pick up truck at night time. My uncles and my older brother were all in the cab. My cousin and I were in the bed of the truck.

I enjoyed those rides a whole lot and as I recall they were always a bit scary. There were no lights on those country roads, so when it go dark, it really got dark. The only light that we had was from the headlights of the truck. And being in the bed of the truck, that didn’t do us a whole lot of good.

My cousin and I were having fun. We liked being scared and we liked scaring each other. But on some level, the two of us were also expecting the older boys to try and do something to scare us. So we kept waiting for a possible scare to be on the way. But that was more in the back of our mind.

I really wish that I could describe to you what it was like to be riding in the bed of the car like we were in the dark. It’s the sort of thing that I miss in the world of today. Everywhere we go, there are lights everywhere. It is really hard to get scared like it used to be. The darkness was so encompassing that it nearly felt like we were isolated. Another thing I can think of is that it felt like were driving through a tunnel made of trees and such.

My cousin and I were doing our thing. We were talking about things that we thought might scare each other.

These were old dirt roads, so my uncle was not driving the truck really fast. There were tons of twists and turns, especially the higher up you got into the hills. And that is sort of important for what eventually happened.

The truck slowed down a little bit as it was about to go around a turn. We weren’t going very fast to begin with, but the turn was pretty sharp and we grabbed the sides of the truck to brace ourselves as we made the turn.

I was very familiar with this sharp turn. My uncles had tried to scare us one time by telling us that cars have had accidents right on that turn. In fact, they said that some people have died going around the bend. I was sure that it was their way of trying to scare us by making us think that we could die by going around the bend.

My back was facing the inside of the road, with my hands bracing me on both sides. And that was when it happened. I felt something on my left wrist. I turned and looked at my arm, and was stunned by what it looked like I saw. For a very brief moment, it looked like a human hand was grabbing my wrist.

So, I pulled my arm away. But as I mentioned, it was only for a brief moment and I easily pulled my arm away and the truck was around the corner. However, I quickly moved to the opposite side of the truck, where my cousin was sitting.

He was confused but I explained to him what I had seen. I don’t think he really believed me at first. But he knocked on the window and told my uncles to stop the truck. They did this and we told them what had just happened.

We took a flashlight and walked back over to the sharp turn. My uncle also took a rifle out that was kept behind the seat in the cab. But when we went back, we were unable to find anyone or anything. There was definitely no one anywhere near us.

My uncle then tried to scare us a little bit by suggesting it was the hand of someone who had died while making the turn. And of course, my cousin and I believed them. We got back in the truck and they took off again.

Riding in the bed of that truck was so terrifying. Both my cousin and I wanted to be in the cab, but there wouldn’t be room for us. Whatever I had seen and the story my uncles told us, well combined that scared the crap out of us. We were all too eager to get home.

I really have no idea what we saw that night, but it was the scariest moment of my life.

Number Three: Train Guy

Right on the outside of town, there is an old railroad track. At this time, I had lived in this town for about ten years. I could count on my hands how many times I have actually seen a train moving on it. However, right after a bridge, there is another off track. I am not really sure what you call it, but there are often train cars parked there for a really long period of time.

The area around the tracks is heavily wooded. There is a road the goes through it and up a hill. There are a few houses up on the hill, but very spread apart. But I often take that road because it’s a short cut to get back home because it leads through a field. That is how I knew about the train cars that are often parked there.

I was walking there with a friend one day and he decided that he wanted to take some pictures of the train cars. He was designing some sort of game and felt that he needed pictures to model off of. I can’t really explain that part, but I guess it’s just important that we needed to get pictures of it.

After taking pictures of some of the back cars, he wanted to walk to the ones in front. We had been taking pictures for a good 15 minutes at that point. However, when we started walking forward we noticed something. Someone walked out from between two of the cars. And then he started walking in our direction.

I can’t completely explain why, but seeing the guy made us both feel very uncomfortable. There were rarely any people back in that area. So I asked him if we should maybe just go. For some reason, the appearance of the guy, who was a bit far from us, was making him feel uneasy too. So we decided to just leave and to come back at a later time.

About a week later, he and I went on another walk. We decided to take the back road again. He wanted to take some more pictures. The same train was there, but that was not a surprise. They would sit there for months at a time. So we were going to try and go to the front of the train again and take those pictures of the front cars that we didn’t get to do last time.

However, as we began walking in that direction, it happened again. A guy came out from between two of the cars, which could have been the exact ones from the first time. And once again, there was something very creepy about the whole thing. So my friend and I once again decided to leave.

We talked about it for a while and came to a conclusion. There were some homeless people in our town. So we figured that for some reason, he must have been living in between two of the cars. Perhaps he didn’t want anyone snooping around in his area. So we decided that maybe we would just skip trying to get those pictures.

We kept away from the train area for quite a while. But my friend is really stubborn and he really wanted to get pictures of that train. So after a short period of time, we decided to go back to the train.

My friend was taking pictures and was going further down the track than we had before. Since the man didn’t come out, we figured that he was not around. So my friend started going between the cars to get all of the pictures that he needed.

It happened so quick that it took me by total surprise. The man pounced out from behind one of the cars, yelling all sorts of gibberish. And he was holding what looked like a pocket knife in his hand. And he began running straight toward my buddy.

My friend was closer to the guy than I was, and he fell over in surprise. The crazy man easily got to him and held him down. My friend was struggling to get up.

I hate to admit, I almost ran in fear. But I knew I had to help my friend. So I ran over there and tried my best to pull the crazy man off him. The man was a lot stronger than I would have thought, but with both mine and my buddy’s strength, we were able to pull him off. The guy stumbled backward and fell down.

I tried my best to pull my friend up. By the time we got him to his feet, the crazy guy was up too. And this was the first time I got a look at him. His eyes were chilling to me. I mean they made Norman Bates look normal. He also had what looked like blood on his face. IT was only then that I realized that he had actually bitten my friend.

It was too much and the two of us just took off running. He followed us, but fortunately only as far as the end of the train. We were able to get out of there safely from that point.

My friend had to go to the hospital. The police went and arrested the man who attacked us. They found tons of dead animals in the area where he was hiding. It looked like he had tried eating some of them.

He went to jail for the attack. It was three years for aggravated assault. But the two of us are stuck with the memory.
submitted by KillerOrangeCat to killerorangecat [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 03:17 Efficient_Profit853 Hey strong mamas- advice?

I am in the process of becoming a licensed insurance agent, I was offered a job that allows me to stay at home no matter what, they’re family friendly and let me know it’s alright if I need to leave the computer for a little while sometimes. Also a lunch hour is provided. I’m great at sales so I’m going to take the leap and hope that I absolutely KILL IT because this job truly would be perfect for us. I have a really big fear of daycares. My twins are 10 months old in a few days and I should be taking my exam in about a week Work will be 1pm -8pm Babies wake up at 8 and go to bed close to 9
How do I survive and optimize this time?? I love that I get to spend the morning uninterrupted with them. Any tips for me on how you survived working at home with an almost 1year old(x2 for me) ?
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2023.03.25 03:17 ImmediateEstimate265 I (17F) had an interaction with a man at the gym that left me feeling uncomfortable...I would like to hear your thoughts on what he said/advised.

I'm 17 years old and just recently started going to the gym to lift weights (as in, started ~6 weeks ago). It's been fine so far, but while I was there today a very burly man approached me while I was in between sets and on my phone.
I had headphones on and was just scrolling through social media, and he came up to me and signaled for me to take my headphones off before advising that I put away my phone and wholly concentrate on exercising/lifting.
While I was fine with this (obviously a little flustered and intimidated), he continued on saying that I'm a young girl and exercise is good because women get weak later on in life and our bones become brittle, so I shouldn't go on my phone and should be more focused on exerting myself and getting stronger.
He asked me to look around at the other people in the gym (all men who were not as muscular as him, and all had their phones next to them as they worked out) and said 'Do you see a difference between us? That's because I'm not on my phone.'
I understand that he was trying to help (he didn't raise his voice or anything), but the interaction left me feeling quite embarrassed and confronted. He didn't speak to anyone else this way even though there was another man who also went on his phone between sets. He also wasn't offering advice on anything 'useful' like my form, just what I was doing during rest periods.
Am I right to have felt this way or is this kind of behaviour normal/okay at the gym? How would you guys feel if this happened to you, and do you agree with what he said?
submitted by ImmediateEstimate265 to xxfitness [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 03:17 teenwithmentalissues What names would you give these commedia dell’arte characters?

Commedia dell’arte is basically the origins for about 99% of what’s considered comedy today. It originates in the Italian Renaissance and a big portion of what commedia dell’arte produced was stock characters. In every play from that era, there were 8 characters that were typically featured. These 8 characters are the blueprint or a lose blueprint for all fictional characters today.
The characters and some modern examples:
1.) Pantalone. He’s the mean, horny, creepy, and greedy old man. He’s rich as hell, but he never spends money and he’s cheap as hell for his companions. His motivations are money and sex and will do anything to get either. Modern examples include Montgomery Burns, the judge from Sweeney Todd, Mr. Scrooge, and Mr Krabs.
2.) Il Dottore. He is supposedly smart and qualified since he went to all the best schools and on paper he has qualification. But for everyone’s safety he should not be employed anywhere at anytime. In the media, he usually has a profession with high expectations. Modern examples include Saul Goodman, Frank Burns, Dr. Zoidberg, and Fraser Crane.
3.) The innamorati. They are the forbidden lovers, often being stupid and self absorbed teenagers. These types of couples are the kinds of characters you’d find on those “Toxic relationship in the media according to a therapist”. Modern examples include Ross and Rachel, Noah and Allie, and Rory and Jess
4.) Il Capitano. He is an arrogant man who thinks he’s irresistible to women, but in reality they all hate him because she’s a sexist dick. The character is usually a soldier or in a leader position, so he brags about being a brave war hero, but in reality he cries and balls in fetal position when faced with danger. Modern examples include Gaston, Michael Kelso, Hawkeye Pierce, and Johnny Bravo.
5.) Arlecchino/Harlequin. He is a lower class character and sometimes a servant of Pantalone, Dottore, or Il Capitano. He is very mischievous and since he has the energy of a hyperactive six year old with a sugar high, a lot of his plans fail and get him into trouble. But he’s very much a good and caring person with a big heart. Modern examples include the Belcher kids, Harley Quinn, Fry from Futurama, and the Genie in Aladdin or any Disney sidekick.
6.) Columbina. She is another servant and while she’s dedicated to her work, she also isn’t afraid to mouth off her superiors for being awful people. She’s often the smartest person is the room, but isn’t taken seriously due to being a woman and working class. Her character is a critique on how sometimes women aren’t taken seriously in a world where rich guys are often in charge. She’s also sexual, and doesn’t mind using her body to get what she wants. She has a good sense of humor and loves joke, and is often the best friend or girlfriend of Arlecchino. (Their dynamic is the meme with a picture of Jessica and Roger Rabbit with the caption “My favorite relationship dynamic is tall mysterious beautiful knockout and a weird little gremlin that makes them laugh and they’re deeply devoted to each other”). Modern examples include Lisa Simpson, Fran Fine, and Judy Maxwell.
7.) Brighella. He is another servant, but has some kind of leadership within the servants and will do anything to get to the top. He flatters those above him, and looks down those below him. He’s often the scariest/most evil character in commedia dell’arte because he doesn’t have any morals or standards, and nothing or no one will hold him back from getting what he wants. Modern examples includes Patrick Bateman and Dwight Schrute.
8.) Zanni. He a loyal lower ranking character, but he’s REALLY stupid. He tends to falls asleep a lot, but he’s exhausted and not lazy. Because of this he’s the butt of all physical jokes. Examples are Homer Simpson, Jar Jar Binks, and LeFou.
So, what names would you give to these character based off description alone?
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