Black patio table with umbrella hole

Wow
First of all lets address plot holes:

• Memories and emotion from DNA?

Well, considering the modern age of 'data privacy', you could easily create a believable AI model of me and you using the history of our texts, calls, digital interactions, facial scans, and everything else on our phones. Every phone has a mic, every person uses a phone, etc. Who's to say that in the show Daly doesn't have access (legal or not) to this? After all, he is the tech giant.
Extract DNA, create clone. Imprint clone with data obtained from smartphones. Just buy the user data, biometrics, etc from Google, Apple, etc - they'll sell it. We've all seen how powerful AI is. It can emulate you and me, today.

• He died IRL/got trapped in his game without a failsafe?

Bugs exist. He's not the core developer anymore - he's the lead CTO. There are plenty of cases of a game not closing properly. This is one of them. While he's the mastermind of the game, it's impossible to know everything of your own complex MMORPG.

• Ending is cliché.

It seems that the more the characters played the role like a cliché Sci-Fi film or game, the better everything worked. It's as though their reality worked just like a clichéd film, and that the power of their belief and actions is what propelled things to success. Play like you're in a script? The script works and writes itself.
This is illustrated from the hacking scene, the jet engine fixing, the escaping into the black hole - it only worked because they role-played into the 'script' with conviction. A brilliant game indeed.

• Who even cares about that??

Forget the clichés and any holes, that's not what it's about.
This episode is a thought experiment about ethical implications of peoples cloned states, and observing the psychopathy and power dynamics of someone who is in 'god mode'. We've all seen how people treat bots (and humans) in GTA, GMod, RS, etc. Except in this case it's a sick individual enacting disgusting types of vengeance on his coworkers who he despises (justifiably so).
Creating deepfakes with near 1:1 accuracy emotionally, linguistically, and physicality is available very soon. We all see how insane AI is developing. Like how movie stars are trying to protect their 'likeness' from appearing in random commercials or videos, we need protective laws for our own likeness, lest some pervert recreated you with leaked databases of your text, voice, and photo history and a strand of your hair.

• Would you feel strange if a sentient AI copy of you existed?

If it expressed feelings and had the same emotional reactions as you? If someone began to torture or do gross things to a simulated version of you? Like a voodoo doll but more visceral.
It's not just theory at this point - it's reality. In reality our clones already exist in predictive algorhithms. Google knows you better than you do - it serves you the most practical websites, videos, ads based off a decade+ of your data. They use agent simulation to A/B test which video to serve you next. Your digital clone already exists.
Such a good episode, first time ever seeing it and wow! Cinematography, concepts, audio, colour - all excellent! 9.5/10 IMO.
Daly is emotionally undeveloped. He cannot express his emotions in a healthy way. He doesn't communicate well. He doesn't address his life. He lives behind a game. Daly is a living caricature and example of social skills which are poor (just like most of those around him who torment his daily life).
Social skills are the very thread and needle of human function and those skills need to be taught better, elsewise we end up with people bullying people into psychopathy who enacts emotional vengeance in a simulated voodoo world.

Chapter 24: Top Dog
Boys: Shawn
Girls: Heather, Lindsay
Episode 24: Top Dog
"Last time on Total Drama Action," Chris said over a shot of the film lot. "A sweet, surprise package from the outside world left Heather bitter," Heather was shown looking at her jawbreaker with disgust, "and the cast got a taste of life in zero-gravity conditions," the four were seen floating in the space shuttle.
"But all was not well in the universe as Shawn and Courtney continued to spitefully hate each other," the two mentioned were shown making comments at each other.
"In the end, Heather won the challenge," she was shown to be covered in barf, "but lost her sweet smell. Lindsay fixed things between Courtney and Shawn" she, Shawn and Courtney were shown talking, "but lost her chance to stay in the game almost. Thanks to a tiebreaker, Courtney lost the game, but won a Lame-osine ride back to the real world?" She was seen puking into her pot and entering the limo.
"Can Lindsay breathe once more now that she barely got lucky?" The dumb princess was shown in the confessional.
"Will Shawn be able to carry on without his sole alliance?" The conspiracy nut was shown looking at his tinfoil hat.
The scene flashed to Chris in front of the cast trailers. "All this and more, on today's out-of-this world episode of, Total! Drama! Action!"
XXXXX
The episode opened on a shot of the morning sun before panning down to the cast trailers. The camera centered on the girls', then cut inside as Lindsay woke up.
"That was a nice dream I had," Lindsay talked to herself while sitting up in her bunk. "Marshmallow pillows and candy rainbow pieces have never been so tasty."
She soon looked around for a bit. "Where did Heather go? I thought she would be back from showering last night."
The door opened and Heather walked in, though she was looking groggy and tired.
"Where were you all night?" Lindsay asked her roommate. "Were you out on a secret trip thanks to your immunity? Let me guess where you went. The cheese factory, Niagara Falls, or did you go to the mall?"
"Zip it!" Heather shouted. "I spent the entire evening in the bathroom."
"Why did you sleep in there?" Lindsay asked.
"That ghost slash vampire fighting freak soaked the last of the gumbo on me!" Heather complained. "It took me hours to wash the food off and make sure I smelled exquisite."
"I don't blame Shawn for what he did," Lindsay shot a glare at the queen bee's direction. "You made him get into a fight with Courtney. Things could've gotten worse if I didn't solve their problem."
"Shut up, Lame-say," Heather insulted. "That homeschooled reject is going down, and once I deal with him and you, I'll claim the grand prize."
"I have no idea how Amy could tolerate you," Lindsay told her. "You worked with her, sure, but you decided to strategize behind her back just because she had standards."
"Amy and the other contestants mean nothing to me," Heather said. "Just watch your back!"
Confessional: Heather
"I knew I'd make it to the end. Big shocker," Heather filed her nails. "I just can't believe the zombie weirdo and brainless blondie made it. So they may as well just give me the check, I mean come on. I think we all know who's gonna win."
Confessional Ends
Heather yawned and laid down on her bunk. Just then, the trailer door burst open. Chris walked in and promptly and joyfully blew a few notes on a bugle into the room. "Wake up, sleepyheads!" he announced with glee. "Breakfast is served, along with today's movie challenge. You've got ten minutes to get your sorry butts down there!" He backed out of the room.
"I bet today's genre will be "guy in a coma" movie," Heather suggested as she lied down.
"I doubt it, but I'm just going to eat breakfast," Lindsay said before leaving.
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The scene flashed over to the craft services tent. "Wow Chef!" Shawn said in awe as the camera cut to a close-up of his plate as Chef ladled a portion of something that was pale yellow, lumpy, and slightly hairy onto it. "These scrambled eggs actually look pretty good!"
Chef looked at the theorist, then burst out into raucous laughter. "Scrambled eggs," he repeated before resuming his laughter and even falling over.
Shawn shot his food with a worried look and put it back before walking away. "I'll just eat on the leaves I've gathered."
Confessional: Shawn
"The way Chef was laughing made me believe that the scrambled eggs were too good to be true," Shawn confessed. "Or maybe they were poisoned. Or maybe they were drugged with sleeping medicine. But worst of all-"
Confessional Ends
Shawn sat next to Heather, who stopped eating once she saw him. "I gotta say, you smell pretty good," the theorist told her teasingly.
"It's just lavender soap," Heather glared. "I used three bottles of it thanks to your stunt."
"Now you know how I felt when you messed with my mind and got Courtney eliminated," Shawn said. "Zombies may eat brains, but they don't have any control over what they're doing."
"It's always supernatural stuff with you," Heather groaned. "I'm stunned Jo even likes you, but it makes sense. You two are ugly and can't dress fashionably to save your lives."
Shawn furiously got in Heather's face. "She likes me for me, and I won't change myself for her."
Confessional: Shawn
"It's one thing to be manipulative, but to insult my feelings for Jo? That's crossing the line," Shawn ranted. "Like Jo did before, I will make sure Heather loses."
Confessional Ends
The scene cut to Lindsay approaching the serving counter, only to look confused when she didn't see Chef. The cook then lifted his arm up and dropped a ladle of fake eggs onto her tray.
"Scrambled eggs?" Lindsay wondered as she looked at her plate. "It's the second episode all over again." Chef broke out laughing again behind the counter, but he managed to sit back up and wipe a tear out of his eye.
Lindsay sat down next to Shawn. "Hey Shawn. Where's your food."
"A heads up," Shawn whispered. "The eggs aren't cooked well. They're just fake."
"They looked real," Lindsay slid her tray away.
"So anyways, me and you are up against Heather, Lindsay" Shawn told her. "I know what you're gonna say."
"Let's team up and take her down," Lindsay grinned.
"It's almost like you read my mind," Shawn said, "but without being an alien."
Confessional: Lindsay
"Shawn is really cute," Lindsay admitted. "His constant nagging about his theories do bug me and he could really use a shower every once in a while, but I can see why Jo is into him."
Confessional Ends
"What can I do about the eggs?" Lindsay asked Shawn. "Chef will totally kill me with his eyes if I throw it away."
"Leave it to me," Shawn told Lindsay.
Shawn grabbed the eggs with his two hands. He mushed them together and created a ball out of the eggs. Twirling it on his finger for a brief moment, he tossed the ball away and it landed in the pot Chef was using to cook a meal. The cook stopped whistling to see what slipped in, but went about his business without a care.
"I can't believe he didn't even care," Lindsay commented.
"I don't know what Chef uses to make his food, but it's probably leftovers," Shawn said.
"Attention, cast!" Chris said, the camera cutting to him standing on the other side of the tent with a blue-and-yellow macaw perched on his shoulder. It squawked as the three contestants walked up.
"What is that parrot doing on your shoulder?" Lindsay asked.
"That's my new BFFF!" Chris explained with a grin. "Best Flying Friend Forever. That brings us to today's movie genre: the Animal Buddy flic." The three teens gave him skeptical looks.
Confessional: Chris
"You try coming up with twenty-two movie genres," Chris accused in the confessional. "It was either animal buddy, or guy in a coma movies."
Confessional Ends
"The hallmark of any good animal buddy flick is the human-animal bonding," Chris explained as his macaw watched him. "First, the human and the animal start out as enemies. Then, through many misadventures, the animal and human grow to care about each other," the camera zoomed in on the macaw as it seemed to be touched by the host's words, "and become fast friends."
The parrot rubbed Chris' chin affectionately with its head, and the host responded by extending a finger to rub the bird. However, the macaw decided to playfully chomp on the finger and squawked laughingly as the human winced in pain.
"You guys just hang tight for a sec, 'kay?" Chris told the cast with a calm look on his face. He walked off camera, and the castmates watched in mild horror as sounds of an attack were heard. Feathers flew, squawks were heard, and the host yelled "Let go of my coif!"
He walked back into view moments later, brushing the feathers off his shoulder but ignoring the ones in his now-ruffled hair. "So...where were we...?" he asked idly before smiling in realization. "Right! The first animal buddy movie challenge will be to pick an animal and teach it to be just like you," he explained as the camera panned across the wary faces of Heather, Shawn, and Lindsay. "That shouldn't be too hard, since you're all animals." A rimshot played, but none of the cast were amused.
Chris got serious again. "The cast member whose animal most resembles them at the end, wins the challenge." The contestants were shown again, and Lindsay in particular was looking pleased.
Confessional: Lindsay
"I love animals, especially dogs," Lindsay gushed in the confessional. "I even have one of my own. One time, I told my math teacher that his new hair piece looks like my dog's butt. But he totally took it the wrong way. My dog has the cutest curly little butt!" the blonde explained. "It was a compliment!"
Confessional Ends
The footage resumed at a shot of the contestants outside. "Alright cast," Chris announced, "time to meet your future BFFFFFs!" He motioned behind him, where something large and covered in an orange tarp was stationed between him and Chef. "Best Furry, Feathered, or Finned Friends, Forever!" he explained further, earning an eyeroll from the cook as he pulled away the tarp.
The four teens gasped as the four cages were uncovered. The camera focused on each animal one-by-one. First was a brown bear that roared at the cast, then a bigger cage holding a rather agitated looking shark, then a smaller cage holding a raccoon that tried to claw at them, and finally a bird cage holding a chameleon that rolled out its tongue.
"Pick an animal," Chris told the cast, "and get training. You have three hours."
"I got the raccoon!" Heather said immediately, shoving Shawn to the ground and dashing forward towards the small cage before either of the others could react.
Confessional: Heather
"I had to pick the raccoon," Heather reasonably told the viewers. "The chameleon is gross, the bear is huge, and the shark is murderous."
Confessional Ends
The scene returned to Shawn and Lindsay standing with the other animals. "I'll take the chameleon," the blonde said. "If it can change colors, I can't pass that up."
"And I'll take the bear," Shawn announced. "It has a lesser chance of eating me alive in comparison to the shark."
Chris saw that the final three have made their decision and chosen their animals, but noticed that the shark was lonely.
"So it seems they left out the shark," Chris mused. "I paid good money to bring all four of the animals out here, and I won't let any of them go to waste." He thought to himself. "What to do, what to do."
Ezekiel suddenly ran up to Chris. "Hey Chris. I'm here to help judge the animals."
"Ezekiel! Great timing," Chris piped up. "Say, do you want to pet sit for an animal while we wait for the judging part?"
"Uh, sure," Ezekiel agreed. "Which one do I have to watch over?"
"Chef, bring the pet here!" Chris ordered, causing the cook to drag the shark over to the home schooled guy."
Ezekiel's eyes almost popped out. "I have to take care of a shark? They're dangerous looking eh!"
"That's not my problem," Chris laughed while departing. "Just make sure it doesn't try to hurt the other animals. They didn't get picked, so they're sorta jealous."
All Ezekiel could do was gulp at his predicament.
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Heather and the raccoon were sitting on a table. "I don't know if you've been tested for rabies, but I have my eyes on you, so don't try any funny business."
The raccoon snarled at her. "Hey hey! I don't want any trouble. I just want to win this challenge."
Heather pulled out a box of doggy treats. "If you behave, I'll feed this to you." This caused the raccoon to sit up straight, and Heather gave it a treat. "Good."
After devouring the treat, the raccoon held out its paw, causing Heather to awkwardly shake it.
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The camera went to the chameleon, who's colors changed from red to bright yellow. It was supposed to change to Lindsay's hair color, but it didn't obey.
"That's not the color," Lindsay told her animal. "It's supposed to be blonde, not bright yellow. Let's try this again." The chameleon turned dark green in response.
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The scene flashed to Shawn and the bear inside the service tent. "I know something that we share," Shawn told the bear. "We both like food, but the only difference is that I can cook and you can't."
The bear growled at that, causing Shawn to retract. "I'm not saying this to insult you. I'm just saying that I teach you how to cook. That way, you won't have to eat out of the trash can."
The bear smiled in response.
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Ezekiel was looking at the shark still in its tank. He touched the tank with his hand, and after the shark chomped its jaws, he recoiled back in fear.
"You know what I like to do?" Ezekiel said. "Play songs on my harmonica."
The home schooled guy took his harmonica out and played "Ocean Man" by Ween. Just as he was going to get to the third stanza, the shark howled in boredom and pretended to fall asleep by rolling over.
Ezekiel stopped playing to see what the shark just did and sighed. "I know music doesn't kill animals eh. I'm not that naive."
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The scene flashed to Heather and her raccoon lounging about. "I've already taught you manners, but I don't have anything else to do."
The queen bee's face lit up with inspiration. "I know." She lifted up the raccoon. "Want to help me sabotage the others? I'll give you the entire box of treats if you do."
The raccoon thought about it, but complied.
Confessional: Heather
"This will almost be like sabotaging my competition in the ballet competition, only this time, it's on a reality show," Heather said.
Confessional Ends
Lindsay's chameleon was now orange-colored. "My hair looks like it's colored orange, but that's not the case," Lindsay expressed her frustration.
Behind her, Heather had hooked her raccoon to a fishing line. She swung it over Lindsay's head, allowing for the raccoon to use a can of spray paint on Lindsay's hair.
Seeing what color the hair was now, the chameleon turned white.
"That's definitely wrong," Lindsay said while the raccoon resprayed her hair brown, causing the chameleon to turn into that color. "Wrong again!" Her hair got sprayed pink. "My hair isn't even close to pink!"
Not wanting to be exposed, Heather quickly reeled her raccoon back and took off.
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The camera flashed back to the kitchen. The bear was stirring pancake mix and flour in a big bowl as Shawn watched him.
"I work in a bakery, so making cake is my first lesson in cooking," Shawn instructed. "I need to use the bathroom. Keep stirring until I come back."
After Shawn left, the bear decided to search the cabinets for more ingredients. The raccoon, who was under the table, crept from under there and stood near the bowl.
They took out a bottle of maple syrup, and quickly squirted it all onto the bowl. As soon as the raccoon was done, they went back to hiding when the bear came back with the ingredients.
The bear added some sugar into their bowl and resumed stirring the mix, unaware of the syrup. Heather saw her pet return back and they smiled at their sabotage.
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Meanwhile, Ezekiel was bringing a set of books with him. "Alright, shark. I think you'd like to read a story."
He took out "The History of Canada" and turned to page one. "This book is one of my favorites. It describes how Canada was made."
Seeing the book that was picked, the shark silently whined before taking out some earplugs and placing them into their ears. Afterwards, they faked a smile just to show that they're paying attention.
"I knew you'd like the story," Ezekiel looked up from his book, unaware of the fact that the shark wasn't listening.
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A flash took the scene to a stock shot of the film lot before another cut took it to Ezekiel, Chef, and Chris sitting at a judge's table, the contestants and their animal buddies waiting around in front of it. "Alright cast," Chris announced, "time to judge the animal buddies."
"Why does the bear have frosting on their lips?" Lindsay asked Shawn after seeing the animal lick their lips.
"It's a secret," Shawn replied.
"Heather!" Chris called, earning the attention of the mean girl and her partner. "You and your raccoon are up first!"
"About that," Heather walked up. "I didn't teach my raccoon much of anything," she said, causing Chris to frown at her.
Heather soon whispered to her raccoon, and before anyone else knew it, the raccoon sprung up and snatched Ezekiel's crochet hat.
"That's my hat you're taking!" Ezekiel protested as the raccoon returned to Heather.
"But I did teach it how to snatch and grab," Heather said.
Chris and Chef looked at each other and held up two signs with numbers on it. "Ten!" Chris announced with a smile.
Ezekiel revealed his score. "I give it a six personally!"
Heather glared at the boy and hurled his hat at his face.
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"Alright chameleon," Chris said next, "give it all you got."
The chameleon stood on Lindsay's shoulder and turned its color blonde like the girl's hair color.
The three judges clapped and gave Lindsay an eight.
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"Shawn," Chris told the remaining contestant. "Time to see what your bear cooked up." He opened the pot and saw a chocolate cake with maple syrup surrounding it. "Why is there maple syrup?"
"I don't know," Shawn shrugged. "The bear must've put it in as a surprise." He got slapped in the head by the bear. "What? I didn't give you any syrup."
Chef took the first bite. "This is an eight. The cake is good, but it gets hard to scrape off your teeth."
Chris was next. "Nine out of ten. I'd like the dessert better if you had properly planned it out."
Ezekiel was the last one. "Maple syrup goes great with everything," he smiled. "Especially cake. This scored ten points!"
"If it makes us look good, I applaud you for your skills," Shawn complimented the bear.
"Points have been tallied," Chris announced. "And the winner of the first challenge is Shawn!"
"Yes!" Shawn cheered, but noticed Ezekiel still eating the cake. "Uh, Ezekiel, are you gonna share with us?"
Ezekiel stopped eating when he heard him. "It is your cake, so yeah."
"I do get first dibs," Chris grabbed a piece before turning to look at the camera. "Be right back," he said with a wink.
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(Commercial break)
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The scene faded back in to a shot of a dirt road running through some unidentified forest just as a bus pulled up. Its door opened with a hiss, and Chris stepped off. "Here we are gang! Don't you just love field trips?"
Following him off the bus were the raccoon and Heather, then Lindsay with her chameleon on her shoulder, and finally Shawn who had to pull his bear through by the paw.
"The woods? Again?" Heather asked.
"Your next challenge is to find your way back to the film lot," Chris told them as an angled shot of some trees nearby was shown. "A ten mile hike through these woods," the camera panned back to the castmates, "using only your animal buddies to guide you," the host added and the shot moved over to the raccoon, chameleon, and bear as they shrugged in ignorance.
"But be careful," Chris warned. "Several vicious and life-threatening traps have been set up along the way."
"Who would do such a thing?" Lindsay got scared.
"Hint; it's the only guy here," Heather said.
"It wasn't me, so obviously it was you," Shawn accused Chris.
"Correct!" Chris confirmed. "First one back wins invincibility. Shawn gets to shave thirty minutes off his final time for winning the first challenge. Everyone ready?"
"Wait, where's Ezekiel?" Lindsay asked. "And where's that shark?"
Chris chuckled a bit. "They're just spending time together."
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Ezekiel was standing on a rock supervising his shark. "I only have a couple of hours left before I can go home, and it's just you and me."
He realized that his pet had brought more sharks into the stream of water. "What the heck? Chris never told me I had to watch all of you."
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"See you all back at the film lot," Chris told them as he took a step onto the bus, "and good luck." He boarded the bus, and moments later the door slid shut and it sped off in a cloud of dust.
The three teens lingered in the area for a moment, then slowly split up. Heather and the raccoon went left, Lindsay and the chameleon went right, and Shawn and the bear stood still.
Shawn saw the girls going their own ways. "I know how to get back. I'm a bit of a navigator," he told her companion, who smiled at the knowledge.
Confessional: Shawn
"If you want to know the inside of my bunker, check it out!" Shawn said before pulling out blueprints and showing his first page. "Entrance chamber with eye-scan entry and remote lasers here, here, and here. And here and here. And here." He turned to the next page. "Master bedroom with bite-proof bedspread and weaponized pillows, and just in case…" the page turned, "this is the panic room." He flipped one last time. "And this is the panic room inside the panic room. Can't be too careful."
Confessional Ends
Heather and her raccoon were shown wandering through the woods and searching around.
"How did Jo manage to do this part of the challenge?" Heather rambled. "It was a stranded episode, but I still don't know which way she went."
The raccoon rolled their eyes, but still followed Heather.
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The camera flashed to Lindsay walking through the woods. "No offense," she said to her companion, "but I think I should've picked the bear. Shawn must be lucky riding on their back."
Whether or not the chameleon got offended, they turned themselves invisible. "What the? Where did you go? I can't lose you!" Lindsay frantically ran about trying to locate her pet.
The camera moved to show her stepping on a string hidden behind a small shrub. It snapped, and a rock was launched out of a nearby bush by what looked like a small catapult. It hit Lindsay in the stomach, causing her to kneel over.
"Those were the traps," Lindsay wheezed out before collapsing.
Confessional: Lindsay
"One of the things I would've liked to do with my money is spend it on a lifetime supply of lip gloss, but I canceled it because there's more things to value," Lindsay confessed. "Like creating a brand new style of lip gloss."
Confessional Ends
Back with Ezekiel, he was sitting down as he watched the sharks racing each other. He pulled out some cake pieces from the one Shawn and his pet created and proceeded to eat them.
"I should've packed them in a bag if I didn't want syrup in the pockets, but I'll make do," Ezekiel shrugged before a shark swallowed all of his pieces. "Hey! If you wanted a piece, you should have just asked!" he said angrily.
This wasn't the smartest thing to say as the sharks chomped their jaws and went towards his direction.
Not wanting to potentially die, Ezekiel took out the last of his cake slices. "If you want these, go get them!" He threw them far away, causing the sharks to forget about Ezekiel and swim for the cake. "That was close."
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The camera cut to Heather as he followed the raccoon. "Are you sure you know where we're going?" she asked. "I am not going to lose because of you leading us in circles."
The raccoon growled, but still stayed by her side.
"Of course I'll be upset," Heather replied. "I have plans for when I win the million bucks."
Confessional: Heather
"When I win, I'm thinking of my own spin-off series. The World According to Heather," Heather described it. "Luckily, I'm up against the dimwit and the nutcase. So they may as well just give me the money, I mean come on. I think we all know who's gonna win."
Confessional Ends
"Chameleon, where did you wander off to?" Lindsay yelled as she walked through the woods, "We have to be together so we can make it to the film lot."
The camera followed her to show that she was rapidly approaching a large patch of ground with a suspiciously large number of sticks and branches on it. "Could this be the way home?" As soon as Lindsay stepped onto the odd patch of ground, the branches snapped and she fell with a holler into the pit that had been hidden. "Booby traps!"
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Shawn and his bear were strolling along. You know," he told his companion, "I can say that I trust you. If you were robotic or built by Chris and the producers, there wouldn't be any trust." The bear giggled happily.
The camera followed them as they came across a pile of leaves. As soon as they hit it, a net seemed to appear in the leaves under their feet and dragged them up in a suspended bundle.
"This isn't good. We have to get down," Shawn mentioned.
Confessional: Shawn
"I never thought I would see the day where I got captured in a booby trap," Shawn said.
Confessional Ends
"I have an idea!" Shawn said as he grabbed some nearby blueberries and gave them to the bear. "You eat as many blueberries as you can. If we're lucky, your increased weight can get us out."
Shawn took out a piece of wood bark carved into a knife. "I'll use this to cut holes into the trap just to help us."
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The camera flashed to Heather and the raccoon outside a small cave. "I don't think there's a time for breaks," she told her companion. The raccoon snarled viciously and crawled into the cave. "As long as we're quick," she complied and followed her pet.
Inside the cave was the raccoon's surprisingly luxurious den. There was a reading corner, a kitchen, a ping-pong table, and even a big screen TV.
"You guys are civilized?" Heather said in shock upon seeing the den. "This resembles my house, but much smaller." A raccoon walked by and offered her a sandwich from a tray. "One sandwich? I'll take more than that," she said as she took three.
The raccoon, holding a paddle, chirped at her from the ping-pong table. "Ping pong? Like I would pass up on that offer," Heather said before going over.
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The camera went to the pit Lindsay fell into. She had dirt all over her body along with leaves, her boots were gone, leaving her barefooted, and she was drifting into insanity.
"I'm so hungry," Lindsay croaked out. "What can I eat that's edible?"
She pulled out her lipstick and took the tube off before biting into it. "Tastes just like cherries."
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Meanwhile, as Shawn was sawing through the net, the bear had its belly and mouth covered from all the berries they were currently eating on. After a few more seconds, the net finally burst and the duo fell into the ground.
"We're free!" Shawn whooped. "Time to get back to the lot."
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The scene skipped ahead to a shot of the afternoon sun high in the sky, the camera panning down and to the right to show Chris standing alone by the cast trailers. A little ways to the left was a meager finish line flanked by tall red flags.
"Shawn and his bear!" Chris announced as he saw them coming to the lot. "Nice one!" He proceeded to high five Shawn. "You're the first team to arrive, and for being the first one back, you get a guaranteed spot in the final two."
Confessional: Shawn
"Going to the finale!" Shawn whooped with the bear next to him. "Training pets can be a hassle, but as long as they're not your enemies, you can bond well with them!"
Confessional Ends
"Where is everyone?" Shawn asked the host, both watching the woods along with the bear.
"Sure they'll be here any minute," Chris answered while looking at his watch.
"I'm back!" the voice of Ezekiel announced as he entered the scene.
"Where's the shark, Zeke?" Chris wondered.
"It met some friends in the water," Ezekiel described the situation, "or its family."
"As long as a mammal is reunited with their family, I'm cool with it," Chris shrugged.
\
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The camera panned to the sun as it set, then the moon rose, then the moon set and the sun rose. The shot panned back to them waiting for the remaining contestants, with Chris having grown a large and bushy beard, and the bear asleep.
"Any... minute... now," Chris said weakly, still looking at his watch.
"It's been days," Shawn pointed out. "Maybe we should send out a search party."
"And here they come now!" Chris announced brightly before speeding off screen. The camera pulled back to show Victor and his raccoon and a soaking wet Heather and her fox walking up to the brickhouse.
"Are you guys ok?" DJ asked. "What took you so long?"
"I lost track of time when spending time with Lord Montague," Victor said while gesturing to the raccoon.
"And I wound up taking the wrong river," Heather explained through chattering teeth.
A familiar shout caught their attention and they turned to see Kitsune, now sporting and eye-patch and the parrot on her shoulder, swing into the film lot on a vine. "Argh!" She said in a thick pirate accent. "It be good to be back in me home port."
"Welcome back cast," said a clean shaven Chris. "Better late than never. DJ and his bear buddy easily won the challenge, which means invincibility. DJ gets a free pass into the Final Three."
"Shiver me timbers!" Kitsune cried. "Good job me boy!"
"The question is; Who will join him in the Final Three?" Chris asked. "And who will be the next one outta here? The answer will be revealed on the most exciting Gilded Chris ceremony ev-ah!"
"Now be the time to make the treacherous wench walk the plank!" Kitsune told her allies, who just gave her confused and concerned looks.
"Faith!" Heather groaned. "You're so annoying!"
"Who be Faith?" The goofball asked in genuine curiosity. "I be One-Eyed Foxy, the deadliest pirate on the Seven Seas! And this here's me faithful parrot, Eddie," she added with an affectionate rub of the parrot's head.
"She spent too long in a pit," the parrot explained. "Rawk!"
Heather walked up to the goofball, then slapped her across the face. Kitsune's pupils shrunk and she blinked a couple of times. "Thanks," she said begrudgingly. "I needed that."
XXX
"I must say," Victor said, "this has been one of the strangest few days of my life. At least I do not have to vote for DJ now. And maybe Chris will realize that a mole is no longer necessary"
XXX
[A grand theme played as the camera zoomed in on the amphitheatre. Several film strips of the host's highlights from the previous season flew past the screen, then the camera panned out from a solid gold screen to show a Guilded Chris.]
\
"This is a big one cast," Chris told the four teens from his podium. "DJ's safe from elimination which means the rest of you, are fair game. So," he mined a cat's claws scratching, "sharpen those claws and cast your votes. Someone is going home for the last time."
"Pfft," DJ scoffed. "Sorry girl, but you gotta go." He made his vote, and the screen shrunk into the top-left of the screen.
Kitsune sighed in relief as she made her vote. "Now that's satisfying." She shrank into the bottom-right.
"Like it matters at this point," Heather spat bitterly as she made her vote. She shrank into the top-right.
"There really is one choice," Victor said as he made his vote. He shrunk into the bottom-left.
A close-up of Chris grew from the center of the screen and stopped just before it overlapped with any of the castmates' faces.
"The Gilded Chris goes to..." the host announced. "DJ! And Kitsune!" The screen cut to Chris at the podium. "Heather, since you were the only one who didn't vote for you, it's time for your ride home."
"Finally!" Kitsune cheered.
"And Victor will be joining you," Chris added, causing everyone to gasp.
"But why?" DJ asked.
"Let's just say he had some special caused in his contract that he is now in breach of," the host answered.
"But DJ was immune!" Victor protested. "What would you have me do?"
"I don't know," Chris answered with a shrug. "Maybe sabotage DJ like we told you to," the other three gasped again.
"So Sugar was right?" Heather asked in disbelief.
XXX
"Confession time," Kitsune said. "I kinda knew Sugar was telling the truth. Seriously guys, Victor's a terrible liar."
XXX
Victor sighed and stood up. "I apologize for my actions and I hope that you will forgive me," he told his allies. "Please know that had I not been contractually obligated, I never would have influenced your votes like I had."
"Don't sweat it," Kitsune said with a wave of her hand. "We can't help the things this show makes us do."
"And it's not like you gave anyone an advantage in the competition," DJ added. Victor, upon hearing their words, beamed brightly.
"I'm not okay with it!" Heather shouted. "What was the point in the vote if you were gonna boot him anyway?!"
"Huh," Chris said. "I did not think about that."
"So that means that I can stay and he can go right?" Heather asked.
"Not really, all votes are final," the host explained. "And even so, technically he was disqualified after you were voted off."
"Well you'll be hearing from my lawyers!" Heather threatened.
"Considering that his being here kept you in the game for like three more episode," Chris replied, "I doubt you have a case."
The camera cut to a long distance shot of the film lot as a frustrated growl from Heather shook the screen.
\
The scene flashed ahead to Heather and Victor getting escorted to the Lame-osine by Chef. "You'll be penniless! Jobless! Your name'll be mud on every blog from here to Cape Breton!" Heather yelled back at the host. "You think you were in trouble when Alejandro sued?! I'll make you wish you never met me!"
Victor got in the limo, Heather was thrown in by Chef, and the cook slammed the door shut. It sped off in a cloud of dust, and the shot cut back to the start of the red carpet where the host stood flanked by the two finalists. "DJ! Kitsune!" he announced, putting his arms around their shoulders. The two
Victor got in the limo, Heather was thrown in by Chef, and the cook slammed the door shut. It sped off in a cloud of dust, and the shot cut back to the start of the red carpet where the host stood flanked by the two finalists. "DJ! Kitsune!" he announced, putting his arms around their shoulders. The two smiled brightly at the camera. "The Final Two! One of you will become a millionaire! And the other...will
The host rose his arms and knocked the two down in the process. "Tune in to our most controversial episode ever, of, Total! Drama!
(Roll the Crdits
​
​
(Bonus
The Gentleman and The Queen Bee both sat in the limo in an awkward silence. "So," Victor
"Don't talk to me," Heather
"Pardon me for attempting to dispel the tension," he replied
"Well I'm sorry," Heather said in frustration. "But I just lived through six weeks of torture, the guy I kinda have a crush on is head over heels with the most annoying person on the planet, and to top it all off I was just voted off. By you! So excuse me if I'm ot in the mood to talk. Especially considering if you'd done your job as a mole, I'd still be in the
Victor pursed his lips. "You do realize that even without my vote you still would have been voted off. Also, the fact that the producers had to hire someone to keep you on the show should tell you
Heather opened her mouth but Victor cut her off. "But by all means, continue your sul
16th/15
16th/15th:
13th:
13th: S
12th
11th:
10th:
9th:
8th: Mik
7th: Amney
6th:
5th:
3

So Chapter 79 is a banger but to me it is solely gonna rely on the extent of Eida’s reality power and how long it will lead Boruto to being out casted.
The only potential issue or plot hole with Eida’s power is if it’s more of mass genjutsu than actually reality bending. Like if it’s simply just altered memories then the village should figure out Boruto is Naruto’s son in like a few days realistically bc there should be millions of pictures and records of him since he was a baby as Naruto’s son. I wish kishi gave a little panel showing a family picture or some physical footprint of Boruto changing to Kawaki to clarify this before a hiatus. This could also relate to training as Kawaki doesn’t know how to do any of Naruto or Hinata jutsu and thus the entire training arc with Sasuke would have to be erased from reality if Kawaki being Naruto’s son/Sasuke master were to make sense or even weirder Naruto should be known by the new reality as someone with Kawaki’s science like powers being jutsu instead of Raesengan.
The other issue is that if it’s ONLY just switching Boruto and Kawaki around then Boruto could just retell specific memories with his people to get them to start thinking. Ideally they’d have to slightly alter the past real events beyond just character switching such that Boruto couldn’t just retell what happen as if he were the now Kawaki (for example telling Himawari a story of them when they were young). If kishi doesn’t address this tho ig it’s somewhat slidable since I guess theoretically the village can act like Boruto has some power to access their memories though it’s be very sus or they could make the pace too fast for Boruto to have the time to explain himself.
But even if this part of Eida power was addressed how I’d want it to be, based on current foreshadowing Boruto still has Sasuke headband which seems like it’s gonna play a role. I can see this only going 3 ways.
1) This should be one of the only if not the only thing that isn’t completely changed by reality. For example, Boruto black/pink clothes shouldn’t ever have been Kawakis clothes in the new reality but the headband has to have been Kawaki’s in past memory according to the new reality. And then Kawaki has to somehow explain that Boruto stole it from him which causes suspicion.
2) Sasuke doesn’t even think the headband was ever his until later down the series he had some insane backup plan that triggers his memory of the original reality of the headband so he had a lead to believe Boruto is the son.
3) Sasuke doesn’t need the headband and just trusts Sarada using Sharingan/her memories or has something he had in place to combat the reality switch somehow. That way he just leaves the village with Boruto, which won’t be shocking for villagers considering lot of them despise him for 3rd Great War events.
Also, I think outside of Boruto, Kawaki, Eida, Naruto, and Hinata, the only current non-npc people who should know about the real reality are Sarada and Sumire. It would be kinda lame for Himawari to know but it’s possible bc if Sarada and Sumire are unaffected bc of distant Otsuski blood connection then she should be unaffected too. I really hope it’s not a “love trope” reason they are immune to Eida bc that would make for an unneeded, boring love triangle becoming even more important than it already is that I can’t see Kishi writing well.
As for the next chapters, I really hope that Code comes along in the next few chapters/big event with his army and Kawaki saves the village as the new “hero” since he still wants to village to be safe as Naruto’s built it. They need to emphasise that Kawaki plays borutos role as a typical mc and “hero” well atleast according to the village and is reaping benefits of not being an outsider. This would make Kawaki seem like an insane hero giving him a Naruto-Pain arc moment and further build his rep in the village and more importantly rebuild his rep with the readers since then technically both Boruto and Kawaki saved the village even without reality switching aspects. This also makes it harder to view Kawaki as completely bad once the original reality is found out by the village.
On the other hand, I’d love to see Boruto struggle at first at being a lone wolf and eventually get better at it to highlight his development and riches to rags story. He can’t be cold and cool about going solo from the get-go like Sasuke. He needs a spoiled-rich-kid-faces-reality wrong moment instead of just easily walking alone but just angry.
This allows for a cool parallel where both guys can mirror their idols even if they have very different backgrounds.
Also for the love of god better not be some 1-2 chapter fix like all the other big events such as Naruto Baryon mode or Borutos first death. They need to make game changer stay a game changer.

May everyone in there life has faced a hard time in there life . Same goes with me . I was born in middle-class family in Nepal .. our family members has a big believe at me . As a only child I got love , care and support from my family members . Let me explain about too. My name is Ritu Shrestha . Talking about my personality I don't talk with many people nor I have many friends . I am a introvert kind of person . Thing incident happened with me . When I use to study at grade 9 .I was quite a brilliant student . Date:Magh 16 . that day was my birthday .. As everyone in the class thought of telling a paranormal story . I was also quite interested in stuff like that .. although I never believe nor saw any ghost at my whole life . After this incident everything changed .. After the school completed I was returning back .. When I went inside my house .. I saw my mom and dad crying .. when I came inside they looked at me in a creepy way .. I also was shocked after seeing them .. boz at this time my parents should be at office .. I didn't asked them a single word and went in my room . But I realised that my parents were still watching me in a creepy way .. I went inside my room and closed the door .. I was scared of their behaviour . As I was going to change my clothes I heard a strange noise outside .. I opened and saw my parents sitting in sofa .. my father told me to make a milk tea .. I hurried and made him the tea as fast as possible .. But when I gave him the tea . He told me to put the tea at the table .. I took my phone which was in charged . As I was moving towards my room .. I saw a call in my phone and pick it up .. There was my mom in the phone .. she told me that they were going to my uncle house .. When I heard that I collapsed .. As I turned my head . I saw my father and mother watching me and smiling in a creepy way .. As I looked at them . My father stood up and looked at me I realised that my father eye has turned black .. As he told me in a creepy sound " Come to your father " .. I was fricked out and hurriedly closed the door .. Both of my parent were banging the door .. And shouting " Open the door sweetie " But as they got louder and louder .. my parents voice turned into a veryyyy loud and creepy voice . I hurried and called my parents .. But I realize I don't have balance to call back .. So I hurried and called the cops .. The lock on the door was also going to broke . Lucky the call was picked by a officer .. he asked me " what happened " ..I didn't have any word to tell .. so I shouted " Help Help me plzz😭😭 .. In a hurry I told him my address .. but before I would complete the full sentence .. The door opened . And my eyes went blank .. After a while I was in my bed .. There were cops . My parents were outside .. As they saw me waking up they came running to me and asked what happened .. I just told them a lie .. that was a theft .. As my parents were talking to the cops .. I saw towards the table and saw a cup .. As I realized .. I saw a shadow towards the hallway .. After that incident I went to my sister house to living . For couple of days. RIGHT now .. I study at grade 12 but that days still Hunt me .. Till now I haven't forgot those creepy sound .. and smile at there face ..
This is me Arces signing off

Warning: Top 5% Household Income
I (M35) haven't posted before, and thought people might be interested in our family's journey so far (M35, F34, two kids almost 3 and 6 months old). We're based in the South East in Commuter belt territory - 1 hour train into London for work.
This has turned into a bunch of tables more than I expected, but hopefully conveys our journey so far, salary progression, and expenses.
​
Net worth Progression
To note: We bought our first property (2 bed house, commuter belt) in Dec 2015 with £39k (10%) down and £5k to stamp duty, £2k solicitor fees. I borrowed £7k interest free from relatives which I paid back over two years - and my wife had saved her half. Neither of us have had any significant inheritances (<£2k).
We first heard of FIRE thanks to the crypto rabbit hole leading me to Reddit. None of my family had ever really invested - I started DD'ing £100 a month to get used to the ups and downs and gradually got accustomed to it (Probably helped by my small crypto holding crashing and burning multiple times).

Date	Total NW	Pension	Cash	Investments	Property Equity	Mortgage Balance	Notes
Apr 18	£147k	£68k	£4k	£1k	£79k	-£325k	Pensions were always the min 5% + 5% match
Apr 19	£216k	£81k	£22k	£8k	£110k	-£300k
Apr 20	£282k	£89k	£35k	£10k	£150k	-£260k	Kid #1 born June this year
Apr 21	£429k	£139k	£50k	£57k	£180k	-£525k	Moved into a new house in Apr
Apr 22	£494k	£167k	£37k	£82k	£193k	-£511k	Kid #2 born October this year
Apr 23	£665k	£197k	£22k	£99k	£332k	-£498k	House reappraised at mortgage renewal

Despite the big jumps in investments - a very small proportion is in Crypto (£4-6k) - Haven't checked in a while. The majority is in Global All Cap within Vanguard (Probably should look at moving away from Vanguard soon due to the amounts in here), with some in shares in my wife's company (I keep pestering her to sell them but she hasn't yet).
Our mantra early on was to overpay on the mortgage (2 bed) so that we could eventually ladder up. As we became a bit more accustomed to risk, we started investing rather than overpaying.
​
Salaries and jobs
Him: Economics undergrad. Data Scientist in marketing
Her: Maths undergrad. Trainee Accountant in big four to Business Accountant in Retail

Year	Him	Her	Notes
2009	£22k	£26k	Both started work fresh out of uni
2010	£25k	£27k
2011	£31k	£29k
2012	£37k	£30k
2013	£44k	£38k	Newly qualified Accountant for her
2014	£47k	£55k	New job for her
2015	£54k	£65k	First bonus for her
2016	£60k	£67k
2017	£65k	£70k
2018	£69k	£72k
2019	£80k	£75k	New job for him
2020	£105k	£52k	First bonus for him. Maternity for her
2021	£120k	£59k	4 days/week for her
2022	£120k (90k base)	£67k (£60k base)

I now Salary sacrifice enough into pension to get below £100k for tax-free childcare. The new job has had some strong years and hence big bonuses - a lucky move. Base is currently £90k
​
Current Monthly Expenses

Category	Amount	Notes
Take home	-£7500	£4500 him + £3000 her
Mortgage	£2300	Half way through a 10 year fix on half the outstanding at 2.64%. Just redid the other half at 3.99% after 1.69% (ouch!). 28 years left. Has just gone up over £300 as of this month.
Childcare	£600	Thankfully grandparents take turns to babysit 2 days/week. Wife is off one day. 2 days at Nursery. As one turns three and gets 30 free hours, the other will start
Food - Grocery	£600	Averages around £120 per week. Plus formula is about £80/month (Never realised how much it cost as we breastfed the first!)
Food - Takeaways, Meals out, Pub	£300
Insurances + MOTs + Service + Repairs	£150	Yearly: £700 Insurance for 2 cars, £300 for house, £350 for £400k joint life insurance. £600 for services and MOTs
Energy	£200
Council Tax	£260
Holidays	£800	Certainly a splurge of ours
Petrol and Train Journeys	£500	£40 for a London return 2 days/week adds up!
Misc.	£600	Trips out (excl. food), buying stuff we probably don't need, subscriptions, gifts, personal money. Haven't tracked this properly in a while
Investments Direct Debit	£1200	Goes straight out on the day we get paid

A few years ago I tracked every expense. This fell off the cliff at some point, and I can't even blame it on Covid and the kids. I do go through my bank statements once a month so have a rough idea of what we spend. It isn't tracked meticulously anymore though.
We have two cars - a 2018 Astra (55k miles) which we bought from new (our last car in the pcp cycle), and a 2016 Mazda 6 bought in 2021 (110k miles). We financed car after car throughout our 20s (although only 1 at a time) until we learnt about FIRE.
Home improvements have generally come out of bonuses. But bonuses have also been lumped into pensions to get under £100k these past 2 years. Hopefully Home improvements will reduce in the future as we are near finishing the adjustments to the property that we plan on staying in for the next 20+ years.
​
Savings Rate and FIRE
Our savings rate is (£1500 Pensions + £1200 ISAs) / (£1500 Pensions + £7500 take home) = ~ 30% which according to MMM would mean 28 years if we started at zero. This is ignoring bonuses that make it a bit harder to calculate.
Given we have a £318k starting point, I expect we will be at our loose target of £1.2m (giving £40k/year spend at current prices at a 3.3% SWR) by M50/F49, so 14 years to go (Surprisingly, this matches MMM starting at zero at M22/F21). This is assuming 5% Investment Growth after inflation, paying off the mortgage [to make calculations simpler], and no bonuses. At 7% this reduces by 1 year to M49/F48. At 10% growth this reduces to M46/F45.
I am yet to do an assessment on whether we will have enough in ISAs to bridge the gap but don't see it as too urgent. We don't currently fill our ISAs each year - I'm amazed that some of you do despite earning a lot less than ourselves.
In general, we have a great lifestyle with an okay savings rate. I don't think there is anything ground-breaking in here - just following the slow and steady advice. We could cut back and FIRE quicker, but we're living the life we want and saving for it.
Happy to answer any questions.

[<< First] [< Previous] [Next >]
​
Synopsis:
Juliette Contzen is a lazy, good-for-nothing princess. Overshadowed by her siblings, she's left with little to do but nap, read … and occasionally cut the falling raindrops with her sword. Spotted one day by an astonished adventurer, he insists on grading Juliette's swordsmanship, then promptly has a mental breakdown at the result.
Soon after, Juliette is given the news that her kingdom is on the brink of bankruptcy. At threat of being married off, the lazy princess vows to do whatever it takes to maintain her current lifestyle, and taking matters into her own hands, escapes in the middle of the night in order to restore her kingdom's finances.
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Action, Fantasy, Copious Ohohohohos.
​
Chapter 14: Yearning For Stars
Rextros the Black Scar was, incredibly, a man noted for his black scar.
It was his symbol as a survivor. And more importantly, as a winner. He may have a scar, but the man he'd last fought had two broken arms and a big enough gap in his front teeth that he now whistled in between speaking.
Over the years, he'd fought with the best of the worst, turning bars inside out and alleys upside down. As a D-rank pugilist, he regularly left a reminder that of all the mean sods to ply their trade in this land, he was the meanest of them all.
And his reward? His own cozy little forest hideout, complete with a gambling table, a drinks bar and semi-loyal goons. It was everything a good little outlaw wanted. Except that he never wanted to be an outlaw in the first place.
He wanted to be a pianist.
“... Damn … !”
Rextros the Black Scar had no wish to lead his own group of bandits. A cold tent in a damp forest? A dirty camp filled with the stench of a dozen guys who didn't bathe, even though there's a river right next to them?
These weren't the dreams of a normal lad growing up on a farm. But he knew that working the land wasn't for him. His hands were made for more than sowing seeds and milking cows.
It was for playing nocturnes beneath the moonlight, his soul reaching out to gently sweep across the keys faster than his fingers did.
However, that dream wasn't to be.
Once he was old enough that he could no longer sneak his way into fancy bars and ply his budding skills on the pianos reserved for the famous, he knew he had to buy his own. It infuriated him that pianos were the playthings of the nobility. He couldn't even walk into a piano workshop before being tossed out. It was a closed circle for the rich and the few. And that lit a fire in his belly.
So what if the fancy lords and ladies couldn't stomach the thought of a mere peasant like him dirtying their favourite pastime? It wasn't them he'd play for.
Rextros the Black Scar would play for the people.
And he'd play a piano he could move with his heart as much as his hands—a St. Liane baby grand in mahogany red, rolled straight out of the Royal St. Liane Workshop in the middle of the royal capital and onto the bustling street outside.
That was the dream.
A dream which had slid further away with each passing day. The crowns he'd earned from his fights were barely worth the silver needed to hire a sister to stitch himself back up afterwards. And all the callouses on his hands were suddenly around his knuckles and not his fingertips.
Then, like a twisted angel summoned from the lowest abyss, that's when she appeared.
“Rextros the Black Scar. What a dreadfully dull name. It's as if you picked it out from a book of villains. Couldn't you have gone for something more original? The Black Etude, perhaps?”
“Hah? You picking a fight? And what's with that get-up? You hard selling for a casino? I don't gamble, so find someone else to fleece.”
“You say that, but isn't every day a gamble with the law to you? Honestly, however are you going to acquire the funds to buy a St. Liane of all things? You couldn't have picked a more expensive thing even if you tried. Greedy much?”
“... Who are you?! How do you know …”
“Hey, hey, hey. Wanna hear about a get rich quick scheme? Super reliable! Everyone's done it! And don't worry, it has nothing to do with gambling. Unless you want to?”
“D-Don't mess with me, woman! Who are you?! Keep away! I'm no fool—”
Rextros clenched his teeth as he recalled the memory.
He was no fool … Except that he was.
“... Damn … it … all! ...”
He crashed his fist down against his small table beneath his tent.
He'd stopped doing that lately. Firstly, he'd gotten used to the idiocy of his underlings. Secondly, it spilled his crowns everywhere and picking them up from the grass was a pain. If he ever wanted to buy that immaculate St. Liane, he'd need every last crown this rotten venture in poor decision making could get him.
So … how did it all go so wrong?
First it was the type of jobs. They'd started easy. Shaking down couriers and breaking into warehouses. Then they got harder. Not because the couriers got wiser or the warehouses tougher.
It was because he'd pieced together what he'd been stealing—and why.
He'd left in the middle of his last job and never looked back. Not because he had no regrets about running. But because he'd feared he'd see the face of that girl in her casino get-up looking right back at him.
The thought sent shivers running down his spine.
But maybe that was just because of the cold.
A forest. A cold, damp forest. This wasn't much better. But it was easier. Merchants used this road. He left the farmers alone. And the trolls. But the merchants? They took extortion as a business expense. And every now and again, a wandering nobleman and his family would come to hunt, forgetting that they were more likely to be found by the death beetles before they found a deer.
Was it kidnapping? Sure. But he was doing them a favour. The ransom reward was his just earnings. And what a reward they always were.
He was close. So close.
One last gig. One last merchant. One last idiot.
He knew this camp wouldn't last. But it didn't need to. He was so close. Then he could abandon this damp lifestyle and these stinking men and play ballades beneath the acoustic roof of the Reitzlake Grand Bridge.
That girl with a huge gob, haughty expression, fine clothes and dark hair without so much as an inkling of dirt on it was his ticket to freedom. That sword alone looked like it could be traded for any piano he wanted. He was even glad the idiots hadn't taken it from her. If they had, he likely would never have seen it.
Now he wished they'd just tried mugging her and suffered the consequences for it. Their dead bodies weren't likely going to reveal where he was.
“B-Boss … what was that? Who was she? Why did we have to give everything over?”
Rextros smashed his fist against the table again. This time, a cloud of dust came up as a crack appeared.
“Shut up! Shut up, all of you! I'm thinking!”
One by one, his underlings looked at each other with differing amounts of confusion and resentment. They didn't understand. They didn't know.
That girl, that ticket to freedom, was a poisoned bait. She'd come with one purpose and one alone. And that was to remind Rextros that so long as he lived, his obligations remained. He knew it. He'd dreamed it.
And now he feared the consequences of his flight.
But what could he do? That girl's message was clear. No matter where he ran, he would never be allowed to wander freely again. Every crown he stole wasn't his to keep. He wanted an out. But how could he? He'd seen too much. Not on purpose. But that didn't matter. He wasn't as blind as the rest.
And that was a problem.
“Boss! What's going on! That was everything! It was our pay, our weapons, you gave it all away! Who was she?!”
A problem like losing the loyalty of his men.
Forget making back his losses. He'd lose his life if they all turned on him. And he knew for a fact that the knives and daggers they carried were still on them, hidden in their boots and their clothes.
As every pair of eyes turned black, Rextros clenched his fist.
There was only one thing he could do. It was … It was dangerous. But it was his only choice. Not just to make it out of here alive. But to escape with it tomorrow, too.
He had to silence that girl.
Before she could reach her mistress, she had to be dealt with.
That way, he'd have time. That casino girl had to only suspect. Otherwise, she'd be here herself. Despite his fears, he knew she wasn't truly omnipotent. More importantly, it'd mean he'd have the money to flee. Even with just the crowns, he'd have enough to survive. More than enough.
He had to deal with that girl … and yet, if she was anything near as strong as that monster ...
No.
He had no choice. Not if he wanted to survive. Even if she matched him as a fighter, he had to deal with her. Then, he'd get out. Lay low. Flee the kingdom. That St. Liane was beyond his reach. But there were others. A Zelronto, perhaps. Lacking in finishing and incomparable with the tonal brilliance of a St. Liane, but bearable nonetheless.
It was time to leave these idiots behind.
But not without using them one last time.
“Shut up! All of you!”
“But Boss—”
“That girl. She was here on behalf of the Adventurer's Guild.”
“What?!”
The looks of rebellion were quickly replaced by panic.
Rextros smiled internally to himself. It was every outlaw's worst nightmare. Those that weren't him, of course.
The Adventurer's Guild weren't like knights or soldiers, who'd make so much noise looking for them that they could pack up and leave without so much as leaving an empty bottle behind.
Adventurers were hunters. Hunters that got paid absolute jack for the work they did. And that meant they did their jobs for reasons other than crowns.
In short, the worst type of people.
“She wanted to cut me a deal. All our gains for a day to leave. Except that won't matter if she's dealt with first. Go get her. Now.”
A few of the men shifted. Most were just confused.
“B-But if she's an adventurer, why didn't we just jump her already?”
“Fool! I was watching the treeline! You guys can't stand sentry even if I peel your eyelids off! I had to make sure there was nobody else! Now you see why I'm the leader and you idiots are not!”
“B-Boss!! Then, then that means ...”
“She's alone. Probably thinks she's stronger than all of us. Some brat that just got promoted to E-rank and thinks they're hot stuff. You know what to do.”
“Yes, Boss!!”
Rextros sighed as the underlings shot off, their hidden daggers being pulled from whatever sorry part of their bodies they hid them in.
It was going to be close. That girl … the sword she had. Only an extremely capable swordswoman would dare wield such a weapon. To be anything less was to invite every rogue within spitting distance to try and steal it from her, alive or dead.
Even so, she was alone. She had to be. The way these people operated demanded it. He had fourteen men under his command. Idiots to the last, but idiots with brawn and no discipline. If they all hurled themselves at her, there was simply no way she would be able to defeat them all.
And if so few made it back that he could claim all the loot for himself, then so be it.
Rextros smiled. Perhaps this wasn't such an unfortunate meeting, after all. He'd been meaning to consider a way to leave his goons in the lurch. If someone could deal with them for him, then all the better.
He simply needed to be ready to make good on his escape.
BRRROOOOOWWMMM.
It was at the exact moment that Rextros the Black Scar thought this that his feet suddenly left the ground.
“Gwaaaahhhhhhhh!”
Letting out a scream, he flailed uselessly at the air as he was suddenly flung against the back of his tent, taking it and also a tree with him as he went hurtling down the mound he'd pitched his makeshift throne on.
An enormous, ear splitting explosion drowned out his scream. Or at least what sounded like an explosion. He couldn't be sure with the entire forest groaning in pain. Leaves, branches and trees bent wildly as though slapped by the force of a thousand hurricanes. And yet Rextros instinctively knew that it could have been worse.
The source of that explosion was further away. And it was not aimed towards him.
If it had, he wouldn't be in a position to feel breathless with shock.
Sweat ran down Rextros's face as he crawled up from the dirt. He was lucky. He'd narrowly missed impacting with the tree that now had its roots torn from the soil. Looking around, all he saw was carnage. Bits of the camp were everywhere. And the forest was groaning even louder than before, as though it now had to right itself after being struck by the hand of a god.
Or perhaps a goddess.
That girl … it couldn't be ...
His entire body shaking, Rextros thought about the idiots he'd sent after her. They'd only just left. They … They were probably okay. Even so, could it possibly be a coincidence that she'd set the entire forest on its knees the moment he'd decided on his treachery?
What … What kind of power was this?
That was not the power of some D-rank punk like him. It was beyond that. The sort of power that only named legends past the point of being human possessed.
Had that girl lived a warrior's life, in solitude, training her swordsmanship on some distant mountaintop to achieve that level of destruction?
Rextros now knew he couldn't stay. Not even if all the copper, silver and gold in the world was made available to him. It was time to flee. Right now. Away from this kingdom, filled with more monsters than anyone as insignificant as him had the right to know.
And then maybe, just maybe.
When enough time had passed—he'd be able to take over the farm, and go back to milking cows and tilling fields.
​
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I read this series back in 2011 or so. There are two siblings, a boy and a girl, who are on a spaceship full of children headed for an alien world. I’m pretty sure there are no adults on the spaceship, though I don’t remember why. The world is made up of three concentric rings that surround a black hole or wormhole. The kids have been sent there because it’s a very prosperous world, but the deal is that they have to work for aliens who already live there for many years before they can become citizens and actually benefit from the wealth. There are a large number of alien species on the rings, but there is one “native” species that serve some sort of custodial or governing role and have a very plot relevant religious order.
The boy and girl both have rare powers. The boy is a technopath. I think that this is discovered on the ship, but if not it becomes obvious to everyone when they arrive on the world and he doesn’t need a brain implant to communicate with machinery(everyone who goes to this world gets one). I think that the girl’s telepathy is discovered at a later point, maybe not even in the first book. There’s paranoia about telepaths on the ring worlds and she’s forced to wear a device to suppress her abilities. The device is some sort of metal band over her head with an amber jewel in the middle.
The siblings bounce around between owners who they’re forced to work for for set periods of time. At one point their owner is actually a friendly human who’s worked his way up to becoming a citizen, but he gets assassinated by some sort of parasitic agent. They try curing him by suspending him in a fluid vat with metal wires poking into his body to draw out the parasites, but it doesn’t work. Eventually the girl becomes a sort of messiah figure due to a prophecy central to the religious order that all the native aliens are a part of. The boy becomes part of some group of interstellar guardians who all have the same technopathic powers he does. They use their powers to control devices that let them teleport. The story ends with the girl being teleported away by some alien so she can fulfill her religious role across the galaxy while her brother swears to find her.

Gunpowder. Good, ye old reliable, yet what we get in 5e is not what we are used to in our world.
For starters, objects are immune to the fiery explosion of gunpowder. A keg or powder horn will go boom, but the adjacent wall won't suffer a scratch.
When gunpowder in 5e explodes from a keg or powder horn it only damages creatures. (Sure, the keg and powder horn were technically objects themselves, but if your intention is blowing a hole in a castle wall, 5th edition gunpowder ain't gonna do it for ya.)
In addition to this small fact a single Keg going off only has a 50% of setting off an adjacent keg (MToF, page 204.)
Compared to the other options gunpowder only has one real strength: It is cheap. Out of the 3 other options here gunpowder is the cheapest way to go if you need to supply an army with guns and canons.
Even if you go the absolutely insane route of saying a powder horn only holds enough for 5 shots, that still puts it at 7 GP per shot of powder. By far the cheapest option.
Smokepowder. Wondrous item, uncommon. 40 GP for a single shot. Created in Packets of 5.
200 GP for a standard packet of 5.
20,000 GP for a Keg of Smokepowder. Quick reminder that this is a magic item that can be dispelled with a single casting of Dispel Magic. Poof goes the Keg of 20,000 GP with a single casting.
If the insane price tag doesn't scare you the dangerous fragility of this substance will. On fire, dropped, or so much as handled roughly, and this thing goes off, damaging creatures and objects within 20 feet of it.
5e Gunpowder you could put in a bag and play hacky sack with it. Drop a salt packet of smokepowder on a table and it detonates like a hand grenade. Stuff might as well be explosive gold powder with how expensive and dangerous it is.
So what are the upsides to something that can seen be with detect magic, doesn't work in an anti-magic field, is super dangerous to carry, very time consuming and costly to make, and (according to a combination of google/guesswork) is probably still useless when wet in a firearm while still dangerous enough to go off when dropped?
Precisely. You guessed it: Its weaknesses are what people are after. They're not bugs. They're features.
Detect Magic allows it to be easily detected and regulated. Its ability to damage objects is great, because it is essentially the only object damaging explosive that can be made. This is incredibly useful for demolitions of castle walls and for mining purposes. Societies capable of creating anti-magic fields (either through a miniature Eldritch Machine like the ones in ERftLW, or by controlling a beholder) are capable of safely storing kegs of this powder because they are inert inside of an anti-magic field.
Blasting Powder. (EGtW, page 225) An Alchemical Item introduced in EGtW on page 225.
While we don't know the exact price (because they never gave us one) we can infer what the price isn't based on the context clues provided. Using the container rules in the phb (page 153) and the Tool Proficiency rules for Alchemist Supplies in XGtE (page 79) I've figured out that it costs under 300 GP to make 1 Pouch of "Blasting Powder."
While we are talking 60 GP per firearm shot I would gladly pay that price to use one of the safest materials in 5e. It requires fire to ignite. It doesn't damage objects (other than its container) when it explodes. It is incapable of setting off a chain reaction of its powder if a keg of the stuff is right next to one that is lit.
If you are on a ship this is what you want. Something that can hurt the enemy without sinking yourself in the process.

Link: https://app.roll20.net/lfg/listing/365351/tales-from-the-yawning-portal-group-name-pending Game: D&D 5e Group type: Online (Roll20) Experience: Beginers Welcome Location/Timezone: See the Roll20 game listing in the link above for the time in your distinct timezone, North, South and Central America it will be late night/evening on Wednesday. For those in East Asia and Australia it will be in the morning on Thursday. Schedule: Weekly Roles sought: 4 more players (at least 1 more to start) Price: $25 USD for a 4 hour session via PayPal.
Welcome to the dungeon crawl extravaganza, heroes of the realms! We are just starting our adventure. We will soon dive into "The Sunless Citadel" the first adventure in this series! There is a long journey ahead!
Tales from the Yawning Portal will be a campaign focused around some of the toughest and most dangerous dungeons to be released for Dungeons and Dragons! This campaign will lead you on amazing adventures from level 1 all the way to level 16-20 as you face off against a mighty lich as you seek out their phylacteries!
Time This will be a weekly campaign that will last about a year in total. Sessions will be 4 hours long. Sessions will be held at the time listed in this listing. If you are using a VPN, your time might differ from the actual listing time, so please double check.
Communications Out of game communications will be handled via the Critical Tavern Discord server. In-game communication, voice and video, will be handled via Roll20. Video is optional, but you will need a microphone and an account on Discord to participate.
Payment This game will require payment to the Game Master at a rate of $25 per person per 4 hour session via PayPal. If you feel like supporting the Game Master further, this game allows tipping the Game Master at a rate of your choice. Roll20 is not responsible for any payment transactions and cannot enforce any private arrangements.
Safety Tools This game will use a few safety tools to help make the game a more enjoyable experience fro everyone!
Session zero: Session 0's are used to start the game, opening up with communication, setting expectations, and discussing any safety tools that will be used at the table. Everyone will get a free session zero regardless of when they start.
Lines and Veils: Lines and Veils set the boundaries of the games. Lines are hard limits for content the group doesn't want to participate in, this means that content will not be in game, referenced in game, or alluded to. Veils are soft limits, meaning that when the content arises it might be mentioned, but not described, or it could mean that when the content shows up, it results in a “fade-to-black”.
Open Door: Open-Door is an assurance that anyone in the group can take a break from the game for their own safety and well-being without judgment. This should be made clear to the group.
breaks: For long games or stressful content, having built-in breaks allows the group to stay focused and process content. This time can be used for bio breaks, conversation, or any other necessities. Anyone can take a break at any time, but there will also be a set ten minute break some time during the game so that we can all refresh.
Stars and Wishes: Stars and Wishes are used to reflect and discuss feedback in a positive way. Stars are used for things that participants enjoyed in the game. Wishes are things that participants would like to see in the future. Both players and the GM can express their stars and wishes to make the game better.
Safety tools will be further discussed in session zero and marked on the private game channel in the Discord server so that we can refer to them.
Content Warnings -Character Death -Violence -Language/Cursing -Blood -Drowning
Character Creation Details We are using D&D 5e rules. Characters will start at the same level as everyone else in the party. We can talk about what level that is in your session zero.
I will be sharing compendiums with players in my game for creating and leveling up your characters. This will include all first party books and a bunch of third party content. Third party content includes some books by Kobold's Press such as Tome of Heroes. If I have a compendium shared with you in game the content is allowed. All Tasha's optional Class features are allowed, and we will be using Tasha's Custom Species rules as well.
Stats are generated either by standard array or by rolling 4d6 and dropping the lowest then assigning the values in the order you choose.
The campaign will run from level 1 to levels 16-20 and will be a mixture of leveling by experience and leveling by milestone.
Player Expectations: -I realize this campaign is designed for both new and experienced players, and will work to make sure everyone at the table has a good time, regardless of skill level. -I realize that life happens, and am able to communicate on a timely basis anything that may come up to cause me to miss a session. I will also be gracious to others in the group if they need to miss a session. -I will stay engaged while we are playing. -I will not be rude or disruptive. -I have a microphone with good sound quality and a stable internet connection. -I will download Discord for out-of-game discussion and communication.
DM Expectations: -I will be on time to games, every session. -I will communicate clearly and in a timely manner any schedule abnormalities or other issues. -I respect all players equally. -I will be thoroughly prepared for each session. -I will be fair in my rulings. -I will provide a high quality collaborative experience which entertains and challenges.
What the DM can bring to the table -Encyclopedic knowledge of this game system's rules. -Tools to help new players and newcomers to Roll20 to get acclimated to the game. -Community and Support: The Critical Tavern community is growing every day. Get connected with others online and make friends through TTRPGs and Discord. -Content Support: Lots of materials for Roll20 VTT and in-depth experience with API and macros. -Macro Support: I can write a macro for your character sheet at your request. -Character Support: I will work with the players to make sure that they have the tools to tell their characters' story. Setting individual goals and creating events to make a one of a kind experience for you. This includes character support outside of games by messaging. -Fast paced TTRPG gaming: Through the use of mods and other tricks I can keep the action going and make it so that you never wait more than a minute for your GM to finish their turn.
About Me My name is Eddie, I'm a pretty experienced GM. I've been playing 5e for 8 years now. Recently I've been branching out into playing other systems, but I keep coming back to 5e. I'm currently running 6 campaigns and weekly one shots. I'm a content creator on Roll20 and a Translator. My second language is Japanese. I've only only started DMing full time recently, but I hope I can give you the experience you are looking for.
DM Style It varies from game to game, but something that is consistant throughout all of my games is player choice and interactions matter. This game is going to focus heavily on the dungeon and the arcane nature of it. There will be a pretty good balance of combat, puzzling, challenge, exploration and approach scenarios for players to dive into as a group and a few extra suprises along the way.
I like to reward variablity in play and creative approach within the rules of the world. I engage players based on their wants and needs and try my best to facilitate their ideas. I want to let you guys do cool things with you characters and help you create your stories however they may play out.
Applications Please, submit your applications in the applications thread in the link at the top of this post.

Link: https://app.roll20.net/lfg/listing/365351/tales-from-the-yawning-portal-group-name-pending Game: D&D 5e Group type: Online (Roll20) Experience: Beginers Welcome Location/Timezone: See the Roll20 game listing in the link above for the time in your distinct timezone, North, South and Central America it will be late night/evening on Wednesday. For those in East Asia and Australia it will be in the morning on Thursday. Schedule: Weekly Roles sought: 4 more players (at least 1 more to start) Price: $25 USD for a 4 hour session via PayPal.
Welcome to the dungeon crawl extravaganza, heroes of the realms! We are just starting our adventure. We will soon dive into "The Sunless Citadel" the first adventure in this series! There is a long journey ahead!
Tales from the Yawning Portal will be a campaign focused around some of the toughest and most dangerous dungeons to be released for Dungeons and Dragons! This campaign will lead you on amazing adventures from level 1 all the way to level 16-20 as you face off against a mighty lich as you seek out their phylacteries!
Time This will be a weekly campaign that will last about a year in total. Sessions will be 4 hours long. Sessions will be held at the time listed in this listing. If you are using a VPN, your time might differ from the actual listing time, so please double check.
Communications Out of game communications will be handled via the Critical Tavern Discord server. In-game communication, voice and video, will be handled via Roll20. Video is optional, but you will need a microphone and an account on Discord to participate.
Payment This game will require payment to the Game Master at a rate of $25 per person per 4 hour session via PayPal. If you feel like supporting the Game Master further, this game allows tipping the Game Master at a rate of your choice. Roll20 is not responsible for any payment transactions and cannot enforce any private arrangements.
Safety Tools This game will use a few safety tools to help make the game a more enjoyable experience fro everyone!
Session zero: Session 0's are used to start the game, opening up with communication, setting expectations, and discussing any safety tools that will be used at the table. Everyone will get a free session zero regardless of when they start.
Lines and Veils: Lines and Veils set the boundaries of the games. Lines are hard limits for content the group doesn't want to participate in, this means that content will not be in game, referenced in game, or alluded to. Veils are soft limits, meaning that when the content arises it might be mentioned, but not described, or it could mean that when the content shows up, it results in a “fade-to-black”.
Open Door: Open-Door is an assurance that anyone in the group can take a break from the game for their own safety and well-being without judgment. This should be made clear to the group.
breaks: For long games or stressful content, having built-in breaks allows the group to stay focused and process content. This time can be used for bio breaks, conversation, or any other necessities. Anyone can take a break at any time, but there will also be a set ten minute break some time during the game so that we can all refresh.
Stars and Wishes: Stars and Wishes are used to reflect and discuss feedback in a positive way. Stars are used for things that participants enjoyed in the game. Wishes are things that participants would like to see in the future. Both players and the GM can express their stars and wishes to make the game better.
Safety tools will be further discussed in session zero and marked on the private game channel in the Discord server so that we can refer to them.
Content Warnings -Character Death -Violence -Language/Cursing -Blood -Drowning
Character Creation Details We are using D&D 5e rules. Characters will start at the same level as everyone else in the party. We can talk about what level that is in your session zero.
I will be sharing compendiums with players in my game for creating and leveling up your characters. This will include all first party books and a bunch of third party content. Third party content includes some books by Kobold's Press such as Tome of Heroes. If I have a compendium shared with you in game the content is allowed. All Tasha's optional Class features are allowed, and we will be using Tasha's Custom Species rules as well.
Stats are generated either by standard array or by rolling 4d6 and dropping the lowest then assigning the values in the order you choose.
The campaign will run from level 1 to levels 16-20 and will be a mixture of leveling by experience and leveling by milestone.
Player Expectations: -I realize this campaign is designed for both new and experienced players, and will work to make sure everyone at the table has a good time, regardless of skill level. -I realize that life happens, and am able to communicate on a timely basis anything that may come up to cause me to miss a session. I will also be gracious to others in the group if they need to miss a session. -I will stay engaged while we are playing. -I will not be rude or disruptive. -I have a microphone with good sound quality and a stable internet connection. -I will download Discord for out-of-game discussion and communication.
DM Expectations: -I will be on time to games, every session. -I will communicate clearly and in a timely manner any schedule abnormalities or other issues. -I respect all players equally. -I will be thoroughly prepared for each session. -I will be fair in my rulings. -I will provide a high quality collaborative experience which entertains and challenges.
What the DM can bring to the table -Encyclopedic knowledge of this game system's rules. -Tools to help new players and newcomers to Roll20 to get acclimated to the game. -Community and Support: The Critical Tavern community is growing every day. Get connected with others online and make friends through TTRPGs and Discord. -Content Support: Lots of materials for Roll20 VTT and in-depth experience with API and macros. -Macro Support: I can write a macro for your character sheet at your request. -Character Support: I will work with the players to make sure that they have the tools to tell their characters' story. Setting individual goals and creating events to make a one of a kind experience for you. This includes character support outside of games by messaging. -Fast paced TTRPG gaming: Through the use of mods and other tricks I can keep the action going and make it so that you never wait more than a minute for your GM to finish their turn.
About Me My name is Eddie, I'm a pretty experienced GM. I've been playing 5e for 8 years now. Recently I've been branching out into playing other systems, but I keep coming back to 5e. I'm currently running 6 campaigns and weekly one shots. I'm a content creator on Roll20 and a Translator. My second language is Japanese. I've only only started DMing full time recently, but I hope I can give you the experience you are looking for.
DM Style It varies from game to game, but something that is consistant throughout all of my games is player choice and interactions matter. This game is going to focus heavily on the dungeon and the arcane nature of it. There will be a pretty good balance of combat, puzzling, challenge, exploration and approach scenarios for players to dive into as a group and a few extra suprises along the way.
I like to reward variablity in play and creative approach within the rules of the world. I engage players based on their wants and needs and try my best to facilitate their ideas. I want to let you guys do cool things with you characters and help you create your stories however they may play out.
Applications Please, submit your applications in the applications thread in the link at the top of this post.

This is a very long post, detailing my experience trying to pick up Warhammer as a hobby.
​
When I was a child I had a couple of boxes of Warhammer Fantasy models, some paints and even some terrain. I never played the game but I was fascinated by the models. Unfortunately, at some point it all ended up in a box that never got opened again.
But lately I've been playing a lot of Total War: Warhammer, and that same excitement I felt over Warhammer when I was a kid, was abruptly reignited. And I decided, mostly on a whim, to pick up the hobby. So where do I even start?
The obvious first step was to decide between 40.000 and Age of Sigmar. And I quickly settled on AoS, purely based on the aesthetics. I know nothing about the lore, nor am I very interested - it's just that the fantasy setting has always been more appealing to me than a sci-fi one. I should also mention that actually playing the game is of little to no interest to me - I might play a few games with friends and family if I ever get to the stage where I have two complete armies, but the process of building and painting them is what actually interests me.
Next step was to pick an army... So I ended up on the GW website. I navigated to the AoS section, and checked the "Starter-Kits" box, but I realized that not all armies have one of these, so that wasn't an option. Then I instead checked all boxes for each of the armies/factions, and had a look. During this process I continuously un-checked the boxes for the armies that wasn't appealing to me. And after a little while I ended up with a list of four potential candidates:

• Slaves to Darkness
• Ogor Mawtribes
• Skaven
• Ossiarch Bonereapers

Then I repeated the process trying to eliminate them one by one. The only one I managed to remove from my list were the Ogor Mawtribes, after realizing that the only aspect I enjoyed about them were the mammoths (I mean, they're really cool...). So then I had a list of three, but I couldn't eliminate one, they were all equally cool in their own right.
What I ended up doing was looking at the boxes for each faction, trying to do some napkin math to figure out which one had the most bang for my buck, also taking in coolness factor. And after a couple of hours I not only had picked an army, but a specific box I wanted. The only problem was that this box was out of commission, but luckily I found it on a website in my country, and it was even a tad cheaper than the current Vanguard variant. "Start Collecting! Skaven Pestilens" ended up being my box of choice. And I immediately ordered it.

Total: $67

Okay great! What else do I need? Well, I obviously need paints, so lets start there...
During my drooling on the GW website I had noticed that the boxes all had a list of paints you need in the description. One problem - since the box I had chosen was out of commission it wasn't on their website... I tried searching everywhere for the list of paints to no avail, I even tried using the wayback machine, attempting to find a snapshot that included the box, but no luck. I eventually figured out that I could look up each of the units included in my box, all of which was on their site! First paint I need - Gun Metal.
I went to my chosen retailers website and searched for Gun Metal - but no results... That's odd I thought, but oh well, maybe they don't have that one. I tried the next one, Parchment. Same thing there, and with the next one. I found out after clicking on one that these were actually consisting of multiple paints - Gun Metal was actually Leadbelcher and Nuln Oil. This was worrisome, how many paints will I need? Only one way to find out - I added all the ones I needed into my cart, which ended up being 19 or 20 different paints. And that was just for "Battle Ready" (I'm still not totally sure what this means, but my guess is that "Parade Ready" is an extra step to make the minis look even better). Next I added the ones I needed for "Parade Ready" as well, but noticing the total price I quickly went back to just the "Battle Ready" ones. All of the paints I needed were nearly twice the price of the actual minis, which took me by surprise.

Total: $182

Okay what else do I need? I watched a few videos and read some articles, and made myself a list:

• A selection of brushes
• Cutting mat
• Knife
• File
• Clippers
• One of those things to hold the mini for me while I paint
• Chaos Black and Corax White primer spray
• Cement (which i found out is not the same as glue)

Oh no... Okay lets just add everything to my cart...
First I had to do some research on brushes, since I have no prior experience. A common consensus amongst the creators of the videos I watched and articles I read was that the Army Painters Most Wanted set is an excellent starting point. It includes a regular brush, fine detail brush and a dry-brush (I had to research what that last one actually meant). I found a relatively cheap toolkit that included a cutting mat, clippers, file and knife with some spare blades, so I went with that one. Citadel had one of those mini holders for pretty cheap, added that one as well. Found some cement, and last thing remaining was the primers. I found out Corax White doesn't exist anymore, and I had to determine which one took its place - which seemed to be Scar White.

Total: $255

At this point I just sat back and watched some videos of people putting together and painting some minis, trying to see if I had everything. Which is when I noticed that the base which the mini stands on was just plain black plastic. On all the pictures I'd seen they were all on cool, thematically fitting bases. They don't come like this out of the box. Well, what do I need to make them look good? I went down the rabbit hole for a little while but managed to dig myself out. After a long while of researching I found a method that gave a good result, which wasn't overly complex. I ended up adding Citadel Stirland Battlemire, Army Painter Steppe Grass and a Citadel Medium Texture Spreader to my cart.

Total: $274
plus shipping:
Total: $284

I had already ordered the box of minis, and it had been a day since then, so it was already on its way. What do I do at this point? How can I justify spending nearly $300 to paint some rats?
I'm currently just waiting for the box of minis to get here, not sure what to do with it when it comes - do I return it? Do I bite the bullet and spend this ungodly amount of money? I actually ordered the other stuff as well but cancelled the order after an hour.
Have I added a bunch of unnecessary items to my cart, or is it actually this expensive to start the hobby? A quick summary of everything I've determined I need:

• Start Collecting! Skaven Pestilens
• Army Painter Most Wanted Brush Set
• Revell Contacta Liquid Cement
• Citadel Painting Handle v2
• Citadel paints:
  • Mephiston Red
  • Agrax Earthshade
  • Leadbelcher
  • Bugman's Glow
  • Reikland Fleshshade
  • Warplock Bronze
  • Caliban Green
  • Nuln Oil
  • Deathworld Forest
  • Athonian Camoshade
  • Dryad Bark
  • Abaddon Black
  • Mournfang Brown
  • Rakarth Flesh
  • Zandri Dust
  • Seraphim Sepia
  • Castellan Green
  • Biel Tan Green
  • Mechanicus Standard Grey
  • Stirland Battlemire
• Citadel Spray Chaos Black
• Citadel Spray White Scar
• Citadel Medium Texture Spreader
• Army Painter Basing Steppe Grass
• Italeri Plastic Modelling Tool Set

​
TL:DR
After a whole lot of research I've bought a box of minis and added everything else I need to a cart, only to find out it comes in at nearly $300. Which left me paralyzed, and I'm not sure where to go from here.

Report on the "Data Center Cooling Systems Market" New Research Report 2023 provides a detailed market analysis on business plan, which helps you understand your audience and competition better. This will also assist you in developing a more targeted marketing strategy. This report also includes information on significant company profiles in the market. The report focuses on the Data Center Cooling Systems Market segment (primarily covering item type, application, and geography), competitor profile, current industry status, and development trends, and the report also covers the market scene and its future development prospects.
Additionally, it provides a futuristic perspective on various factors that are likely to boost Data Center Cooling Market growth in the years to come. Besides, authors of the report have shed light on the factors that may hamper the growth of the Data Center Cooling Market
This report is dedicated to providing niche markets, potential risks, and comprehensive competitive strategy analysis in various fields based on the Data Center Cooling Systems market development status, competitive landscape, and development model in various regions of the world. The competitive advantages of various types of products and services, as well as the development opportunities, consumer characteristics, and structure analysis of downstream application fields, are all thoroughly examined. This report analyses in detail the potential risks and opportunities that can be focused on to boost growth during the epidemic era.
The global market for data centre cooling was valued at USD 6.27 billion in 2018 and is anticipated to grow to USD 11.97 billion by 2026, with a CAGR of 8.5%.
The report offers valuable insight into the Data Center Cooling Market progress and approaches related to the Data Center Cooling Market with an analysis of each region. The report goes on to talk about the dominant aspects of the market and examine each segment.
TOP KEY PLAYERS:
· ABB Ltd.
· Airedale Air Conditioning
· Asetek, Inc.
· Black Box Corporation
· Commscope
· Cormant, Inc.
· Device42, Inc.
· Emerson Electric Co.
· FNT GmbH
· Nlyte
· Nortek Air Solutions, LLC
· Optimum path Inc.
The Data Center Cooling Market Analysis segmented by company, region (country), by Type, and by Application. Players, stakeholders, and other participants in the global Data Center Cooling Market will be able to gain the upper hand as they use the report as a powerful resource. The segmental analysis focuses on revenue and forecast by region (country), by Type, and by Application for the period 2023-2026.
Major Table Of Contents: 1. Introduction 2. Executive Summary 3. Market Dynamics 4. Competition Landscape 5. Data Center Cooling Market Segmentation 6. Data Center Cooling Market Regional And Country Analysis
About Us:
Fortune Business Insights™ offers expert corporate analysis and accurate data, helping organizations of all sizes make timely decisions. We tailor innovative solutions for our clients, assisting them to address challenges distinct to their businesses. Our goal is to empower our clients with holistic market intelligence, giving a granular overview of the market they are operating in.
Contact Us:
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td {border: 1px solid #cccccc;}br {mso-data-placement:same-cell;}Trolley Bags Market Comprehensive Analysis and Future Estimations 2030
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Hospital Braces and Supports Market New Revenue Sources, Latest Trends and 2030 Threshold Market Research Intellect
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Plastic Growlers Market Trends, Top Manufactures, Automated Filling Machines Market Demands, Industry Growth Analysis & Forecast 2030
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Isononyl Alcohol Consumption Market Comprehensive Study Explore Huge Growth in Future
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Infrared Temperature Measurement Instruments Market to Witness an Outstanding Growth by 2023 – 2030
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The theme of this deck is, I guess, to use the new Warrior cards. Specifically, this leans into collecting a bunch of types to trigger the various multi-type dependent effects. The end result is kind of a bucket of garbage, but the playstyle is essentially to just keep pouring out minions to the best of your ability. Outrider's axe and the crappy fire spell with weapon and minion buff are included, mostly to activate forged in flame. there's discount for mechs and elementals from 1 mana neutral minions, and with most of the deck costing 1 or 2 mana those discounts you can sometimes pour out your whole hand immediately (to give the mage something to obliterate instantly of course). theoretically, roaring applause, the new voon card, and forged in flame keep your hand up so you can at least lose with dignity after turn 5. By then you can realistically expect to get to like, 5-6 minion types played, up to 7 i think. in terms of "end game" there really isn't one, because this archetype is, as mentioned, garbage. BUT I fit in one amalgam band, and with voon maybe you get to play it twice (not sure if you'd even want to lol). power slider is in there too, so I guess if you play them off curve you can get like, a cheapish 6/7. not gonna win you the game, but there it is.
​
incidentally, I couldn't realistically fit black rock and roll, because it's bad with low cost minions. a couple sad cuts were made to minions to include the minimum amount of card draw from roaring applause and the fire spells needed to get some value of thoribelore: rip lava gorger, who was too expensive for what he was bringing to the table, obsidian smith, who was fine but not as important as card draw, and hilariously the new quilboar, who I'm sure is fine in other decks but is basically useless in this (aggro?) deck.
anyhow, this is the deck code: https://hearthstone.blizzard.com/deckbuilder?deckcode=AAECAQcGud0Fr8MFi7cEw5IFqOAFw5IFDKSlBdPQBbi0BK3uA5WqBdnQBdbQBcviBN7QBY7tA63DBbTRBQA%3D
give your thoughts? it's bad, but is it at least optimally bad?

I have been going through Indian female subs to get surprised on how the things are shaping out in our society and human relationships. Many posts were about how they were dumped by ex and went for AM set by his parents. Others were how they were ill treated, sexual assults or bad experiences in past relationships. Many other about misogyny, social conditioning, men's control over female sexuality.
Like AIM says we are living in a third world shit hole where many poor people/women don't have many opportunities and can't exercise much options. Industrialization transforms the society and societal attitude, not the otherway. I feel we should we strive for better gender diversity in many sectors by letting in the natural course. But not in the way SVB did that by going to the extremes like donating 73mn $ for BLM.
I read in psychology that women notice more about the way she is treated and think in terms of how she felt in the whole process. Men are hardwired to think about the logical end gains/results of any acts or actions. Women won't be excited unless they make efforts or invest emotionally to start or progress relationship. This is where nice guys are at disadvantage as girls don't put much efforts or don't think much about them. Nice guys brings everything at table much women could think of gaining them by making some efforts. I saw a yt shorts where a white man was questioning single women what they gonna do with their lots of money 💰 at the age of 45+ it triggered midlife crisis of many in form of flooded comments.
There is no reason for me to suspect their experiences if they are real or not. Anything could be possible in 21st century relationships. I think women, in general, lack institutional thinking. I am not talking in terms of sociology. They call men as losers, incels, misogynists, patriarchal for those who go for AM and being momma boy. In reality quality people around us are minority. Honesty is not virtue of rare people. They bring in classism by calling low income, poor, dirt, shit etc. It's good for someone to fall in high income groups but don't make fun of poor or economically disadvantaged. They are ending uo to become dog moms, fighting loneliness, ranting about men of past relationships. These are fine but ridiculing society, culture and reducing everything to misogyny, patriarchy is not the way of arriving at smart conclusions. I don't undermine caste, or family equations or benefits. Keeping cost of living (2BHK costs in metro cost more than 2 Cr), complexity of today's world, fragile worldview on relationships or family values one cannot take risk of giving up family in return of uncertain relationship.
They often talk about separating women from institution of family. Now that many women are no longer living in joint families. Nuclear family are good for healthy social continuation. You cannot separate women from family instead you can separate young generations from old school of thinking.
Note: Use polite language and be nice in the comment section. Don't use any anti-women or misogynistic way.

Its 1990:
Grandma : “oh shame, I hope they dont get hurt doing that”
Mom & Grandma : knocks on a wooden table, whist saying “touch wood”.
📷
An old English folklore, ’Knocking on wood’ is more than just something over 35’s do as another strange act to all pre-35 year olds. Its official definition, according to our trusted Wikipedia, is this :
Knocking on wood is an apotropaic tradition of literally touching, tapping, or knocking on wood, or merely stating that one is doing or intending to do so, in order to avoid "tempting fate" after making a favorable prediction or boast, or a declaration concerning one's own death or another unfavorable situation.
In all its glory and quite honestly misunderstanding. Knocking on wood 2.0 refers to a form of good luck wished upon someone or a situation. However the horrifying fact is that opportunity doesn’t come with a simple knock or two. It presents itself when you approach said door with a sort of hammering and beating down effort.
This topic got me thinking of some other strange things I grew up hearing. Things that occasionally spring to mind in relevant situations. Its almost as if, I actually consider the potential repercussions of not doing or saying said actions/phrases, as being legitimate risks. Regardless of how bizarre it sounds.
So here is a list of a few of these superstitions and their quirky explanations:
1. Lucky Pennies

“Find a penny, pick it up, all day long, you’ll... HAVE GOODLUCK” - in that exact sort of volume progression. Derived purely from the logical understanding that because pennies are made from metal, if you find them, you’ll have good fortune. (Fun fact, some take it a level further and believe that the luck can go either way depending on whether the penny was found tails up or headsup - eyeroll - that’s where I draw the line). 

2. Breaking a Mirror - Badluck

The belief that a broken mirror brings bad luck most likely has its origins in the simple fact that reflections of ourselves are uncanny and often unnerving (particularly on a “bad hair” day), so humans have long had bad associations with them. 

3. Walking under a ladder

This actually refers to a christan symbolism : the Holy Trinity of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit led to an association of the number three with something scared. The triangle, with its three sides, came to be regarded as sacred as well, and a ladder of course forms a triangle, so, naturally, to walk under that ladder would be to destroy the sanctity of the Trinity and thus incur punishment. 

4. Itchy Palms.

So I often have this scenario play out in my life. Whenever I have an itchy palm, I immediately scour the room looking for someone who can confirm if its the left or right that means money is coming in or going out. Truth be told, most of the time its a bloody mosquito bite causing said itch. 

5. Black cats.

Though cats have often been associated with good luck rather than its opposite and were even worshipped as gods in Ancient Egypt, things took a turn for the worse for our feline friends sometime around the Dark Ages when, in 1232 AD, when Pope Gregory IX declared them an “incarnation of Satan”, well thats according to People magazine anyway. 

So as it appears, we as xennials are more likely to continue these sort of superstitous acts, however most of the time its diluted by the lack of knowledge of their origins. So hopefully by the time we have grandkids, that dilution would be significantly greater. To the point that eventually people stop saying them all together.
I have to wonder, is that a good thing, or is that simply a dilution of our existence to date. A nullified time when the human species had these ludacris phrases that would be thrown out because they lacked what will become ‘basic knowledge’.
On that note - Sweet Dreams!
📷

Posting here cause I’m not really sure where to ask, and need quick help so I’m sorry if it doesn’t really fit!
For the past couple weeks, my SO and I have been getting increasingly worse headaches (behind the eyes, forehead , temples), mine less intense I think, we’ve both been ridiculously tired and wanting to sleep way too much. I have been extremely irritable, lashing out or snapping at small things that just feel like the last straw, usually in hindsight I feel guilty for overreacting and not staying calm enough to have a conversation or discussion on the issue. I’ve had a cough (dry, tickling, some congestion that’s lesser now, I just assumed I had a cold or something for a couple weeks). I’ve been slightly nauseous for the last several days (not nearly to the point of wanting to throw up, just a consistent mild nausea). Most of the time when I stand up after sitting, I get dizzy, my vision gets spotty or dark for a few seconds, and I have a wave of tingly, lightheadedness, dizziness (I’ve kind of “always” had an issue with this, but normally it’s very quick and not worrisome, like I just stood up too fast) but the last 3-4 days, bad enough that the room spins a bit, and I sometimes have to sit back down to let the dizziness pass. On my part, increasing severity of these symptoms weren’t too noticeable because I’ve been dealing with a lot of stress lately, I just figured I was letting myself get too worked up over everything (wrecked car, struggling to come up with rent money, not being able to find a job, one after another little problem that has to be dealt with, just life honestly) but tonight it occurred to me that I felt similar to when I was living in an old apartment and we found black mold in the walls, after a couple weeks of symptoms. There is a slight possibility that mold could be the issue, but we haven’t seen any, our apartment/shop doesn’t smell musty (a small, one bedroom apartment above two small office rooms that are connected to a large shop that we use for woodworking and similar things, also there’s an attached garage, vents do connect all three areas I think, the only window in the apartment is in the living room, doesn’t open, so it can be stuffy at times, not great insulation so it never seems too bad to me. One interior door in the main shop leads to stairs up to the apartment, an exterior door connects the shop to the other side/garage). Asking about CO poisoning because obviously, the symptoms I mentioned could fit a lot of different things, but I’m not sure what else to check. And probably not very good ventilation, no windows except the one, only one door in the main shop, which usually stays closed since it’s been cold, we’ll open it and the exterior garage door if we need to air it out more, but the ceiling is maybe 20’, with open holes/gaps that need fixed, so there is somewhat consistent air movement. We did have, for several months, a torpedo heater in the shop that we ran diesel in, about two weeks ago, it stopped working and we haven’t had it running since. We do occasionally have vehicles in the garage area, the door is open if they are running, but there is a window ac unit in the wall between the garage and a back room of the shop, and also a vent that connects to upstairs. Any thoughts or suggestions? If it is or is likely carbon monoxide poisoning, what would be the first thing to do to get rid of it? Does carbon monoxide stick around in low levels like that? We both have a relief of symptoms if we’re gone during the day, but we both work out of the shop so it’s not like we’re only here outside of an 8 hour work day. Also, we did (3 days ago) pour epoxy resin on a tabletop, it’s still in the process of curing, so that was another possible cause that we considered, but this would be the second time we’ve done it in a month and neither of us had quite the same symptoms at that time).

Posting here cause I’m not really sure where to ask, and need quick help so I’m sorry if it doesn’t really fit!
For the past couple weeks, my SO and I have been getting increasingly worse headaches (behind the eyes, forehead , temples), mine less intense I think, we’ve both been ridiculously tired and wanting to sleep way too much. I have been extremely irritable, lashing out or snapping at small things that just feel like the last straw, usually in hindsight I feel guilty for overreacting and not staying calm enough to have a conversation or discussion on the issue. I’ve had a cough (dry, tickling, some congestion that’s lesser now, I just assumed I had a cold or something for a couple weeks). I’ve been slightly nauseous for the last several days (not nearly to the point of wanting to throw up, just a consistent mild nausea). Most of the time when I stand up after sitting, I get dizzy, my vision gets spotty or dark for a few seconds, and I have a wave of tingly, lightheadedness, dizziness (I’ve kind of “always” had an issue with this, but normally it’s very quick and not worrisome, like I just stood up too fast) but the last 3-4 days, bad enough that the room spins a bit, and I sometimes have to sit back down to let the dizziness pass. On my part, increasing severity of these symptoms weren’t too noticeable because I’ve been dealing with a lot of stress lately, I just figured I was letting myself get too worked up over everything (wrecked car, struggling to come up with rent money, not being able to find a job, one after another little problem that has to be dealt with, just life honestly) but tonight it occurred to me that I felt similar to when I was living in an old apartment and we found black mold in the walls, after a couple weeks of symptoms. There is a slight possibility that mold could be the issue, but we haven’t seen any, our apartment/shop doesn’t smell musty (a small, one bedroom apartment above two small office rooms that are connected to a large shop that we use for woodworking and similar things, also there’s an attached garage, vents do connect all three areas I think, the only window in the apartment is in the living room, doesn’t open, so it can be stuffy at times, not great insulation so it never seems too bad to me. One interior door in the main shop leads to stairs up to the apartment, an exterior door connects the shop to the other side/garage). Asking about CO poisoning because obviously, the symptoms I mentioned could fit a lot of different things, but I’m not sure what else to check. And probably not very good ventilation, no windows except the one, only one door in the main shop, which usually stays closed since it’s been cold, we’ll open it and the exterior garage door if we need to air it out more, but the ceiling is maybe 20’, with open holes/gaps that need fixed, so there is somewhat consistent air movement. We did have, for several months, a torpedo heater in the shop that we ran diesel in, about two weeks ago, it stopped working and we haven’t had it running since. We do occasionally have vehicles in the garage area, the door is open if they are running, but there is a window ac unit in the wall between the garage and a back room of the shop, and also a vent that connects to upstairs. Any thoughts or suggestions? If it is or is likely carbon monoxide poisoning, what would be the first thing to do to get rid of it? Does carbon monoxide stick around in low levels like that? We both have a relief of symptoms if we’re gone during the day, but we both work out of the shop so it’s not like we’re only here outside of an 8 hour work day. Also, we did (3 days ago) pour epoxy resin on a tabletop, it’s still in the process of curing, so that was another possible cause that we considered, but this would be the second time we’ve done it in a month and neither of us had quite the same symptoms at that time).

Hey everyone, click the link for more info and more chapters :
A book about cycles, size and perception : CrimsonCloverwriter (reddit.com)
The green man ran. He sprinted. Down the winding halls and past confused onlookers the green man ran.
One of his subordinates tried to stop him, a rather frog-like man the green man vaguely knew. The green man pushed the frog back, launching him into two more subordinates.
Now they were all running, the halls alive with the sounds of feet pounding across the ground. And yet none could catch him, for he was still spry for his age. Finally, the man broke through the gate, past the barrier and now beside Dundis. It had been years since he wandered these walls, and yet the path spoke to him, showing where he must go. To Osmund, the fallen warrior of Alizia, an old friend.
He ran, the Alizian’s could only see the blur dart past them and enter the doors. Faster and faster he became, until finally the green man wasn’t running at all. Now he was a force, a presence that lived for the rush, moved for the sake of moving, until he could find what he seeked.
And it was then that he saw the tower, collapsed with debris everywhere, the corpses of soldiers strung everywhere, when he began to panic.
Pain. Shooting, blinding pain running through Osmund’s body. Something inside of him was roaring, his organs feeling fit to burst under the complete and utter agony. He could feel it everywhere in his body, starting with his toes and slowly crawling up through his body, into his intestines, through his kidney and even further still, to his head. Osmund could feel it losing itself, his brain was struggling to think, his body far too degraded into paste to resist the loss of himself, struggling as hard as it could to force awareness back into Osmund, make him open his eyes and do something before it was too late-
Pain. There was a warmth here, as Osmund lay, it began in his arm, a slight sting at first but now it began to generate something inside, breathing something into him, strengthening him. Osmund felt something, something other than pain, but equally as shocking : His toes. There they were, all ten of them, buzzing away with the rest of his body. Something was happening, all the pain began to fade away, however something was replacing it. The buzzing.
It was inside Osmund’s head, a cicada buzzing inside of him relentlessly, just as they had back home, in the forest when the merchants would come. Osmund could see them now, dancing joyfully through the fields. Osmund could see her even now, the tall woman, beckoning towards-
Pain. Sensation. Osmund’s eyes opened as something slapped him, a dark figure perched over Osmund’s body. He pushed against the figure, remarking at his own strength and how it overpowered the man so easily. Pushing the shape to the floor Osmund observed it, feeling the overpowering delirium from his rest take over, and all at once the figure was out of his hands, and Osmund felt total weightlessness.
It only lasted for a second, or at least that’s what Osmund believed, before he could see the shadow in more focus, and the green armour that adorned it. Osmund shuddered, resting one hand against his face as he realised who the mysterious shadow was.
“Are you alright Osmund?” Balmun’s concern was admirable, especially considering the man’s wounds. His armour was in shambles, dirtied by the fall, with loose pieces of wood sticking out of his left arm. Blood poured down at an alarming rate, although for the most part Balmun seemed to be in little pain.
“I… I don’t know.” Slowly Osmund raised his hand towards Balmun, who quickly helped him to his feet. Osmund looked down at his body, noting the bloody and tattered armour that clung to him, but also noting the complete absence of pain anywhere.
Osmund observed his surroundings, and realised where the pair stood. Upon collapsing the tower had fallen towards the approaching Alizians, causing a great collapse between the two walls merging the interiors together. Cleaning supplies and old clothes clashed with decadent walls and broken statues. Somehow the tower’s ceiling seemed to have broken the Dundis ceiling, thus leaving a section of the remains elevated.
The ground was littered with Alizian and Vaunghe soldiers, some dead, others dying, however it seemed that many of the Alizian’s had survived the impact, and merely lay with injuries rather than anything truly life-threatening. Osmund could hear something, a curious buzz in the air, it echoed through the room and back to Osmund. It almost sounded like cicada’s, dozens of them, performing their strange buzz to the pair of soldiers.
There was something else, another sound almost completely drowned out by the cicadas, and that was the sound of knocking. Large bangs riddled one of the collapsed walls, with muted calls barely breaking through the debris. Osmund and Balmun slowly moved to the wall, until they were directly in front of it. Osmund could hear the attempts at breaching from the other side, attempting to break through the wall and help the injured, and knew it would take another few minutes.
He looked back at the room, searching for the forms of his party, however he could only find a few. Edmun lay almost completely covered by Vaunghe soldiers, who seemed to have broken his fall slightly. He was still breathing, but unconscious. One of the Enick twins lay dead, although which was uncertain due to the debris that had crushed his skull. The final member of his group Osmund could find was Josmu, severely wounded but still gasping for air. Josmu’s injuries were serious, a crushed arm that would likely need amputation, but he still had a decent chance at survival supposing he got help soon. The others were nowhere to be found, lost amongst the sea of Alizian and Vaunghe forces.
Osmund once again looked at his own wounds, and was struck dumbfounded. The wounds he had sustained, the head injury, the causes of the tattered armour and bloody armour, were nowhere to be found. His body was unharmed, it was covered in blood and dirt, he could even feel the still wet blood from his ear, but there were no injuries, no pain, nothing at all. In fact Osmund felt much more than unharmed, he felt strong. The shock of the fall had faded, and now Osmund began to feel something inside of him roar, some small part of him beginning to take over.
Osmund was practically jumping up and down, he couldn’t contain himself, until finally he approached the wall, now bleeding sunlight due to the efforts of the outside. Osmund touched the wall and pulled with all the strength he could muster. And it worked. The debris was slowly pulled away, beginning to collapse all at once, and revealing more sunlight into the now broken room.
The greens of Alizia welcomed Osmund, and as he wandered out, shock swamped his saviour’s faces. One man in particular, was the very same soldier who gave Osmund the reports earlier. His face was now bruised, a split lip upon his face, which was accentuated with the mix of concern and worry that painted his face.
“Osmund-sir, by the gods we need a medic, anyone go get us a medic the commander needs help!” Another man, even younger than the guide, began to run down the corridor. Osmund watched as he went, and knew that Osmund could beat the man in a fight. Osmund placed an arm on the worried man’s shoulder, a full grin appearing on his face.
“Soldier, soldier… I forget your name, is it Jacm I think it might be Jacm, whatever. Listen to me Jacm, there are quite a couple injured people over there, but I’m fine. Me and Balmun are right as rain in the storm season, and we’re also ready to finish this fight. So then, tell me where to go and I'll meet up with more of our forces.” Concern and worry flashed upon the young soldier’s face.
“But sir, your armour and all that blood.”
“I’m fine really, what we need to worry about is the number of injured soldiers inside the ruins. I need your men to get as many people out and transport them to the medical tents, we don’t have much time.”
“But sir how can we launch an offensive without those forces and the men with me?”
“Quite simply my dear boy, Jacm, I think it’s Jacm, yep that soldier behind you is nodding, it is Jacm, okay then I will lead the offensive myself, even if I have to do it single-handedly.”
“But sir-”
“Jacm, don’t doubt your commanding officer, just do what I say, soldiers did you hear what I said?” The sounds of muttered ‘yes’s fill the room. “Good. So then, I assume that we’re still trying to break into the garden?”
“Yes sir but-” Osmund pushed his way through the crowd, Balmun closely behind.
Osmund approached quickly, taking in the sound of the cicadas as they sang to him in their strange hums. The strength inside begins to build and build, Osmund can feel his body approaching a nexus point before he completely explodes. He turns to Balmun, who is struggling to keep up with Osmund’s own speed. Osmund continues to walk backwards, marvelling at the confidence his body seems to now possess, until he trips over something.
However even tripping over a candelabra wouldn’t stop Osmund, and as he stood up the grin on his face widened even further. Osmund could feel it inside, a euphoria that was quickly spreading through his body. The euphoria brought with it the great strength Osmund felt, and like all good poisons was now in his veins. As Osmund’s joy grew he began to feel like he was at the top of the world, he was a god, no one could stand in his way.
Osmund began to skip, something that he hadn’t done for times long since past. There was a spring in every step, a bee for every bonnet, and this joy was… undeniable. Osmund doubted he could ever go back to a time without this bliss, he’d finally felt what he always wanted, pure joy and happiness. Once he finished this crusade, killed the King and left he would spend the rest of his days frolicking with men and women through meadows and fields of flowers.
Osmund skipped through the halls, and for the first time saw the glory of Dundis. Vibrant red carpets lined the floors, matching the red curtains that hid now broken windows, and they went swimmingly alongside the red blood spilt out of the bodies onto the floor. While most of the blood was Vaunghe, Osmund even saw a few Alizian bodies, which stirred something in the back of his mind, a brief sense of dread. But that was quickly pushed aside by the euphoria, the power, the glory of what life is. Everything was beautiful, from the carpets to the bodies, everything was just another glorious part of life.
One thing that especially spoke to Osmund was another statue, this one the largest Osmund had ever seen. It was another carving of Merculd, however this one was at the very least 40 feet tall, with a domed ceiling stretching high above to accommodate it. The statue sat on a throne of marble, and gazed down upon Osmund. It was truly one of the greatest feats in the history of art, as every detail was lovingly realised, even down to the hair follicles seemingly being present, although how the artist could create hair made of marble seemed improbable to Osmund.
He spun around in a circle and waved to the statue, almost certain that the statue would return one in turn. But there was nothing from this glorious symbol of holiness, only the marble stare that bore down upon him. Osmund continued his travels, unaware of Balmun’s flabbergasted expression.
Balmun was at odds on what he should do in this scenario. Osmund was acting strange, he was never happy, let alone happy looking at the corpses of allies. Balmun considered saying something, briefly looking down at his sword. Balmun knew that he’d done some stupid, idiotic things in the past, that he was a failure, but there was no way that he’d leave Osmund alone like this. The blood from the wound was overpowering, but Balmun pushed on, screw up or not the man knew how to take a hit.
Balmun still knew what he saw, that giant thing that reached down to Osmund. It was after the fall, Balmun was protected by the heap of bodies he was in at the time, and digging himself out he heard a voice. A loud voice and harsh breathing. Pulling himself out from the bodies, some dead and some alive, Balmun saw the shadow. It sat beside something, another shape on the ground, and clutched the shape's arm. Balmun couldn’t make a noise, that thing, whatever it was, had to be at least 18 ft tall, now looming over the ground shape. It pressed something against the ground shape and stopped, waiting, until finally Balmun realised what this thing was listening for, the breaths. Slow and shallow they began, the breath of something rose and fell, and then the shadow stood up, head eclipsing Balmun’s vision. Before Balmun’s eyes it raised a hand, grabbing something up above, and began to pull itself up through the ceiling, up into the remains of rafters and rubble.
Balmun waited, waited for the thing to come back but it never did. Then he crawled over to the shape, ready to do anything that needed doing, when he realised that the shape was Osmund, beaten and bloody on the floor, unconscious. And that was all Balmun knew, he’d never seen anything like it before, and couldn’t even begin to understand the creature’s motives.
The only thing the pair could do was move forward, however Balmun still had a very cunning plan, just as he always does.
* * * *
It takes the pair around twenty minutes to reach the garden entrance, now swamped with the green Alizian troops. A large group of the men held a battering ram, slamming against the garden’s large iron gateway to no avail. Just like many things in Dundis the wall was made to withstand most damage, save for damage courtesy of the gods of course.
The swarm of cicadas danced through Osmund’s brain, the joy at an all time peak, everything other than Osmund’s goal fading into obscurity. The only things that existed in this place were the joy, and the garden door. Digging through his pockets Osmund found only one problem with his current plan, and that was that the last god’s gift wasn’t in his pocket.
“Looking for this Osmund?” Balmun held the green thing in his hand, and offered it to Osmund. The smile somehow widened even deeper.
“Balmun, I admit, you’re starting to grow on me, how about from now on I call you Balmund?” Mild shock appeared on Balmun’s face.
“Sir I couldn’t-”
“Kid, you’re seriously injured and yet you still follow orders to help your leading officer, to tell you the truth I wanted to leave you behind, but I think you’ve proven yourself.”
“Sir I-” The pair are interrupted by a roar of laughter from behind.
“Balmund? Rare for you to promote someone my old friend.” The burly voice came from Ricmund, a rather thicker fellow known for his odd white hair and proficiency with an axe.
“The man deserves it, he’s dealt with me for long enough.”
“I hear that, so then, how are we going to get into that garden? The battering rams done jack against it.” The smile reached its fullest potential, a literal ear to ear grin.
“ Me and Balmun both have a very cunning plan, using this,” Osmund takes the gift from Balmun and raises it in the air, “We will be able to break through the Vaunghe’s defences in one fell swoop. Move your men, as this may kill them and I really can’t wait to use one of these on purpose.”
As Osmund walks away to the gate, Ricmund gives a little laugh, one containing the slightest bit of worry, before turning to Balmun.
“Di-did he realise that he’s fully erect? His armour is very damaged and it is very…. noticeable.”
“I don’t think he has, I believe he fell on his head fairly hard sir.”
“Don’t sir me, he promoted you, call me pal.” Ricmund reaches out his hand, which Balmund takes.
“Thank you sir.” Swarms of Alizian soldiers begin to retreat after Osmund informs them of the coming plan.
As everyone prepared for the coming battle, weapons ready and shields raised, Osmund pulled the pin on the gift and threw it towards the gate. It made a small ting sound, bouncing directly off of the large door. Osmund realised his mistake and proceeded to throw the gift itself, and not a second too late as it exploded on impact.
The explosion surprised many of the soldiers, forcing them back a few steps, and even sending a few to the ground. It was at this point that Osmund started to lose himself. He started to forget the why’s of his actions instead focusing on the actions themselves. He ran forward, through the black smoke and into the garden. He galloped over the destroyed bodies of the defenders and began to analyse his surroundings.
While the Vaunghe were talented artists, Osmund was beginning to doubt their sensibilities in regards to statues, as even more marble masterworks glared down from all sides. Roses and lilies adorned this place, alongside shrubs and apple trees planted to shield the sun. A large, iron net was placed atop the entire ceiling, allowing natural light in but restricting any aerial assault. Surrounding Osmund were the few souls lucky enough to have had some distance, however only two of them were armed.
Osmund bounded to one, and slashed at the Vaunghe’s face with a claw like hand. Blood spurted across the room, and Osmund could see the others terrified faces as he-
-stood upon the soldiers bodies, coated in blood and gore, none of it his own. But… wait just a second ago Osmund was-
-dancing through the garden, deep into the centre. Osmund stopped, glancing around at his surroundings, something was different, his mind was racing where were the-
-Alizian’s poured in after Osmund, supporting his assault. He beat away the sword swings of the desperate nobles…. wait nobles? Osmund stops again, sweat coating his body something wasn’t right things were missing what was he doing again? The euphoria began to die down, everything was alright, nothing-
-could stop Osmund’s foot as it came down again and again and again onto the man’s face, much to the terror of the nobles around him. The joy began to fade, and Osmund scrambled to realise what just happened. Fragments of time lost in the pit of insanity that Osmund’s mind had become, but it stopped, all of it began to leave him, taking his newfound strength with it.
Osmund moved his foot, alongside the barely hanging on iron plated boot that was attached to it. Coated in blood, Osmund struggled for a second to remember where he had obtained the boot, scrambling his brain to recall the Strolomite blacksmith that made it. Nice guy, missing an eye but a damn good blacksmith, hopefully he’s still open to making new armour.
Osmund looked back down at the heavily beaten corpse on the ground, noting the intricate clothing and bloody crown on the floor next to it. He felt a weight drop inside of him, his flesh got goosebumps, everything went wrong. Osmund looked down at the man, the king of the Vaunghe, and panicked. He shook, he paced, and for the first time realised that someone was watching from the doorway. Doorway of a room Osmund only just realised he was in, a decadent room with red carpets. Red like… like the King now was.
Balmund slowly moved through to Osmund and slowly began to talk. But he wasn’t actually slow, no everything was just going slower, everything was distorting and for a second Osmund couldn’t see the difference between Balmund and Aliza. Aliza, she stood in the distance, through the doorway and back in the garden she stood, beckoning to Osmund.
He pushed past Balmund, and the pair of soldiers who entered after him, quickly descending the stairs and running to where he saw her. Bodies lie on the floor, savagely disfigured and lying dead on the floor, torn apart as if from a monster. But Osmund didn’t process this, he left them all behind as he got closer to Aliza, because she was still here, still beckoning to Osmund. Her height was incalculable, being almost three times as tall as Osmund, but she wasn’t, she was half Osmund’s size, or maybe she was as tall as Osmund herself, her form kept shaking in and out of proportion, rattling Osmund.
And just as he reached her she was gone, gone as quickly as she had appeared. Osmund ran through the garden, through bodies and plants that Osmund didn’t recognise, past the elegant statues and Alizian forces, who were now swarming the garden.
Approaching the gates, Osmund’s began to feel dizzy, the sunlight began to run into the dark, there was a strange taste in his mouth, the cicadas were blaring and Osmund felt-
-A hand touched Osmund’s shoulder, making him jump. Once again his mind had skipped something, and looking around he realised that he was outside again, Dundis glaring down at him from afar. The tents for the wounded were overwhelmed, a hundred soldiers all laying down in various states of injury. Osmund was standing beside the metal pole and the lectern, holding one rotten piece of fruit. He dropped it and turned to the person who touched him.
It was a bandaged Balmund, observing Osmund with distress. His wounds bandaged, Osmund once again realised how lucky the man was to have lived through such a fall. Balmund was saying something, and Osmund tried to listen but his head was beating like a drum, banging in and out of his mind.
“Osmund, are you alright?” The concern was warranted, even Osmund couldn’t tell what was wrong, whenever he tried to pin down what was happening it squirmed through his mind.
“I can’t understand it Balmun- Balmund I mean, I must’ve hit my head because my mind is racing everywhere. I haven’t felt like this in years Balmund, this senselessness, this brutality, I left that shit behind when I turned thirty.”
“Sir, what you did to the King was a good thing. He was going to kill all of us, just because he’s some religious franker who can’t tell a dream from reality.”
“Franker? Can’t say I’ve heard that one.”
“I made it up-” The pair's conversation was halted by the scream.
The scream pierced the air cutting through into the pair's eardrums. They both looked to the source of the noise, and it was a Vaunghe noble, pushing against the soldiers. He was screaming as if his life depended on it. Osmund looked at the man in disdain, sure that this was some attempt at defiance, one last Vaunghe tradition, at least until there were more screams.
Another rang out from the Dundis entrance, this one belonging to an Alizian soldier, clutching his heart and comrades for support. Another scream from the wounded tents, and little by little the screaming multiplied, coming from every direction. One soldier, as confused as the pair, looked to them for guidance, when his mouth contorted. He was mindless for a second, and then terror fought its way out of him. He pointed up, towards the sky.
Osmund turned, looking up to the sky, and that was when he saw it, the thing in the sky, or the lack of it. Blackness. It waited in the sky, staring down at them. A part of the sky had turned black, completely and utterly dark, contrasting the bright day. It wasn’t an object in the sky, it was the lack of one. The lack of anything, waited in the sky. There wasn’t any matter inside of that hole, it was just a rip in the sky, perfectly rectangular, and looking down upon them.
Osmund couldn’t comprehend what this thing was, this presence was impossible, improbable. No god had ever done such a thing, nothing had ever removed the sky before. The screams began to die, turning into a series of whimpers. Hands raised in the sky against this cruel unknown, this mysterious saboteur on a day of victory. Osmund watched the hole with the rest of them, not knowing what this thing could be, this abnormality.
And yet nothing happened. For minutes Osmund waited, the cicadas buzzing dying slowly, when he began to lose faith that anything was going to happen. Osmund moved his eyes down, and then to the wounded tents, in which many slowly began to revert back to how they were. Beginning to approach the tent, there was a sharp intake of breath, and people began the show of looking up all over again, for another hole had opened.
This hole was directly behind the castle of Dundis in the opposite direction of the first, and shared many similarities with the first. Except this one was bigger, clearly bigger. While it was hard to guess how large these holes were due to incomparable heights or objects, what was clear was that this one was far larger than the first.
The panicked screams continued as people noticed a third hole appear, and then a fourth. They kept appearing, with exponentially quicker appearances compared to the ones before it, and they started coming out too fast to react to. Osmund saw one appear before his eyes, one moment there was a sky and the next there was only the black nothingness above them. The sky continued to blacken, holes merging to become larger until almost everything was gone.
Birds screeched in confusion, beginning to swirl in flocks towards the remaining blots of the sky. And then it stopped. The entire sky in every viewable direction was gone, leaving behind only the nothingness of the dark, and the sun. That was of course until everything went black. It happened immediately, one moment there was a sun high in the sky, and the next there was nothing, just the dark nothingness all around them.
People tried to run, hitting each other and sending themselves flying into walls of every degree. So many people were shouting and screaming, others tried to calmly find one another. Osmund reached around him, trying to find Balmund, anyone, but there was nothing but air. But even that began to run out. It happened all at once, one moment Osmund was breathing in and out, and the next he couldn’t breathe in. He began to struggle, choking on the nothingness, and as he lacked his air Osmund felt his body losing itself, felt the cicadas fading away until finally both were gone.

Hey everyone, this is chapter two, for more info on what this is and other chapters click the link down below :
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The collective walks. It waltzes. The collective screams. The collective loves. The collective stands still for a moment, looking around, and then continues to walk. Years pass by, the collective continues to walk, continues to waltz and it continues to scream, and yet every now and again the collective stops and takes a glance. It looks at everything, the people, the weapons, the lives that are lost, and he continues. All of it again and again, every time he looks it’s all the same, and time continues to pass. Time is meaningless to the collective, as there is no time from where the collective is from. Moments exist and pass, but that isn’t time leaving him but space.
The collective waits, attracted to something long since past. A voice that echoes something inside that was long since dormant. The collective runs, runs to the voice, through the crowds and towards the source of it. And that is when the collective sees him. An old friend, but time doesn’t exist and they were never really friends. He’s shorter than the friend recalls, however what is memory but false?
There he stands, alongside a group of faces, some nostalgic others not, looking up towards the sky. Osmundowne. The collective stops walking, halts their waltzes, and forces back the screams. And that old love, the one thing long left behind, begins to grow. The collective smiles, and begins to think.
Dundis was rather large for a castle, it was a landmark one could see from miles away, as if it beckoned to travellers who dared approach it. Stone bricks and mortar were laid in this place, the number of which was exuberant to say the least. Spires creeped to the skies above, observing the carnage that had been displayed. Even from here Osmund could see the shattered windows in many parts of the castle, in as little as half an hour the Alizian’s had reached even the tops of the Vaunghe base, and the battle was sure to be a swift one.
The other thing that stood out to Osmund about Dundis was the decadence. Statues lined every surface, shrubs depicting the gods were everywhere, and there was a strange metal rod poking out of the ground besides a lectern. Osmund approached the objects, and marvelled at the copious amounts of food that lay on the ground. Food of every description, from apples to cattle, were strewn at the foot of the metal pole. On the lectern was a message, scrawled on a yellowed piece of paper.
For now is the time of deepest sorrow, our lord King Kivok has graciously offered food to the gods, and we can now pray for them to smite our foes. Even in hunger we shall fight, for we are the servants of the gods.
Osmund read the message a few times, before placing it back on the ground. Now was the time to enter the castle, explore the passages and support the troops. Osmund approached the gate, now wide open, and removed the map of Dundis, ensuring he’d have the right path.
The group followed suit, pushing the gates open fully and revealing the site of further bodies. They were inside the building’s inner wall now, the sun still bearing down upon them. This was the location home to many of the more important stables and areas for battle preparation. The ruins of a barricade lay around the door, alongside the copious number of trainee bodies who failed to protect themselves. While there was no evidence of the wall’s debris assaulting this place, there was still a large amount of destruction here.
The remains of statues greeted the group, once magnum opus now a disfigured remnant of what was. They were made of marble, and once depicted the Vaunghe gods, although who each one was could not be discerned, due to the broken faces and pieces they had been split into. The statues lined the walls of this castle, with a new statue lining the wall every five metres. If they weren’t destroyed they would likely be the most impressive feat Osmund had ever seen, standing at almost double his nine and a half foot frame.
Moving forward, Osmund looked to the north, where the entrance of the tunnel system began. According to the map the entrance was hidden below the royal stable, and gave passageway into the complex’s vast tunnel system that could lead to several strategic positions. Motioning for his group to follow, they moved slowly around the curved walls of the inner wall. The bodies gradually stopped appearing, prompting the drawing of Osmund and the other’s weapons, save for Balmun who still lacked anything to protect himself with.
The royal stable was just as grand as Osmund expected, long silver poles supporting a twenty metre stable. Beside each pillar was another statue of a god, albeit these gods were untouched and in their full glory. First was the god of thought, Merculd, a figure of 19 ft who sat upon a throne of gold. Adorned with jewels and royal fabrics, the bearded man watched down upon those that approached, beckoning them inside. The man himself was crafted out of intricate copper and glass, an architectural marvel that Osmund couldn’t comprehend its creation.
Beside the father of thought was the mother of art Freya, whose statue was in opposition to the metals of Merculd. Freya was a wood carving, an intricate and detailed depiction of the woman who was 15 ft tall, standing up with beckoning hands towards any visitors. Her face was carved to the smallest detail, with each individual tooth lovingly crafted on her mouth. In contrast to the first statue Freya’s was carved alongside her body, a tight fitting tunic layered over hard to know pants, due to the lack of colour or texture upon them.
The last of the three statues was Zid, the proposed god of the wall, a 19 ft tall mass of flesh and muscle. There was nothing to this god but his muscles, they were the only trait he has, a blank, general male face looming over the entryway. It was made out of stone, likely being the oldest statue here and thus the simplest. That is not to say the statue wasn’t a work of its own, every detail to Zid’s veins had been lovingly placed, it’s just compared to the other two Zid felt… irrelevant to Osmund, past its time.
The stable was enclosed in intricately carved stone, helixes intersecting each other granting slimmers of light into the stable. There was no damage here, no bodies, no other people, this was Vaunghe architecture at its finest, and all of this hard work was spent on a singular, slightly inconveniently placed barn. The oddities of the Vaunghe never failed to surprise Osmund, and he braced to enter the barn.
Straw floors and hay bales greeted him, alongside a single lone steed. A fine horse, certainly of nobility, awaited patiently for its master to return. It had been alone for time unknown, and yet Osmund noticed it was still being fed quite well, a decent number of carrots awaiting on a plate. Osmund opened the gate to the horse and approached the fine steed. He slapped it on the behind, sending it out of the stable and into the inner wall.
“Sir, I’ve stepped into horse dung. May I have another pair of shoes?” Balmun’s voice rang through the room, echoing slightly. Osmund responded by throwing a carrot at his head. Balmun dodged with less than a second to spare, and the armed man behind him was hit dead on.
Reeling back from shock and surprise, the armed soldier moved his sword to his front, trying to shield any further blows. The man was tall, 8’5 ft to be exact, and dirty. His armour was coated in dirt and remnants of the smoke from the wall. Osmund could see the desperation in his eyes, and now charged the man.
Osmund met the man’s blade with his own, parrying immediately. A foot swept the enemy to the ground and Osmund stood above him sword raised. The man went for the blade only to find his hand was removed, spouting blood everywhere. Osmund grabbed the man and pushed him to his feet.
“There is a base for any injured troops at the entrance to Dundis, go now before you bleed to death.” The man’s face flashed in surprise, and he quickly scrambled out of the room, hand stump spouting blood.
“Hey sir?”
“What is it Balmun?”
“Can I have his sword now that he’s not using it?” Osmund proceeded to throw a washbucket at Balmun, this one doing a much better job at hitting him.
Osmund glanced at his surroundings, noting the strange way the straw seemed to be above the ground in one location. Sweeping it away Osmund found the small door, built directly into the floor since the creation of the stable. A rusted latch made way for the opening of the door, and the entrance of the tunnels.
A black, unlit expanse greeted them, stretching for length unknown. Gazing down into the tunnel the light from behind Osmund illuminated the ground slightly. Paved floors and stone walls made for a pathway that would likely be uncomfortable to say the least. Osmund could feel the coldness emanate from the expanse, and longed to stay in the warm outside of the world. But faced with no other option Osmund moved down the stairs swiftly, entering the darkness at a swift pace.
The others followed him inside, although with much more apprehension as to the contents of the black tunnel. Balmun briefly tried to leave, however he was penned in by the Enick twins.
Dark. Footsteps echo down the long and unseen halls. Dark. There was no light in this place, only the inky murk of nothingness. Dark. The blackness blanketed Osmund and the party, freezing them to their core. Dark. There was no warmth here, only the coldness that began to take over Osmund’s heart. Dark. Osmund reached a turn, he was meant to take a left, and he knocked on the wall to signal the party’s direction. Dark. The rasp was responded with by Balmun’s incessant questions of why no one was talking. Dark. The Enick twins muttered about breaking Balmun’s hands. Dark. The group continued their advance, confidence at an all time low. Dark. It was hard to gauge how much time had passed, however Osmund was sure it had been only a few minutes. Dark. Someone tripped, prompting the use of the word ‘fuck’. Dark. Everything was blackness, there was nothing, only the advancing. Dark. Osmund felt himself fading into the blackness, becoming one with it. Dark. Osmund kicked his iron plated boot onto the first step. Dark. Osmund trips on the stairs, feeling someone fall behind him, prompting further use of the word ‘fuck’ and its frequently used companion ‘shit’. Dark. Osmund regained his composure and slowly began his ascent. Dark. Hugging the wall the party ascended, occasionally tripping slightly until finally-
Light. It was slight, but Osmund slowly became aware of vague shadows playing before him. As he ascended there was more light, those shadows began to take form, and his sight slowly returned to him. There weren’t many stairs, although as the group came to a plateau he became aware of a second staircase, this one a wide spiral. They were likely just on level with the ground floor here, and the short staircase above was likely to the room directly above the tower’s entrance.
Osmund turned to his team, motioning for them to unsheathe their weapons, to which they swiftly obliged. Now advancing above the staircase Osmund saw the opening. A loose wall panel was all that barred Osmund from the enemy congregation. He could hear them now, active panic in their voices as a few steady voices spout commands from above.
Whatever forces left in this tower were evidently inexperienced, as anyone with a high enough rank would understand and evacuate via the tunnel, and yet there was no sign of knowledge as to its presence. That made it likely the stern commanding voice belonged to a trainer of some sort, and these were his pupils, now thrust into a bloody conflict they lie unprepared for.
Beyond the gap Osmund saw the shadows flicker and pass through, rushing between one place and the other. The sound of something being pushed signalled that the Alizian’s had somehow broken the initial barricade and this was the next front to be defended. Listening closer Osmund could hear the banging of his soldiers on the door, much to the fear of the panicking trainees.
Osmund readied his sword, placing it in front of him, and awaited a shadow that moved just close enough, just slowly enough for movement. The first shadow was close but too fast, however the next was just right. Osmund kicked through the wall, plunging his blade into the enemy. Blood burst before anyone could understand what happened, and the man’s head flew across the room.
The force of the head flying was so great it hit a comrade in the foot, prompting a loss of balance. For a brief moment nobody moved, just gazing down at Osmund, the headless Vaunghe, and then down to his head. One man raised his finger, pointing at the now emerging Alizian’s, and proceeded to scream.
This prompted panic from every Vaunghe in the room, every single one of these fresh faced troops was filled with a sense of fear and shock, sending some bumbling up the second entrance to the spiralling stairs. Osmund looked around, quickly noting the cleaning supplies and beds, and concluded that this room was in fact the maid’s quarters.
The men were barely armed, with one or two swords being dwarfed by the number of Vaunghe holding mops and glass objects. Osmund and the others all revealed their weapons to the group, and prepared to fight. The trainee’s swarmed the group, glass going everywhere, comrades hitting comrades and an entire clump of people together. The room was too small for so many people to use weapons, and as such the fight was a chaotic mess.
Osmund punched a young man in the face, sending teeth flying through the air. He pushed the man against his friends, who collapsed in a heap. Another man threw something at Osmund, and was dispatched with a kick to the side. More people appeared, with the room’s capacity doubling as people descended the stairs, ready for carnage. Osmund kicked, someone flew across the room knocking over even more, which in turn hit Balmun on the floor also.
As Osmund punched and dodged, swerving away from any injury, the rest of his party were slightly less proficient. Jumun had been hit in the head by a mop, sending her barrelling through a group of people. The Enick twins were throwing glass back at their enemies. Edmun still had the flail out, swinging it against his enemies, proceeding to hit Josmu in the arm and sending him to the ground.
Jab. Return. Sword. Dodge. Mop. Catch. Snap. Osmund’s mind raced, sending the Vaunghe to the ground in their tens. They crowded him, trying desperately to overwhelm him to no avail. Osmund had his back pressed to the wall, using it as a springboard against anyone trying to attack him. Osmund grabbed a Vaunghe and bowled the crowd to the ground using him as a makeshift battering ram.
Osmund kicked a Vaunghe to the ground, blood splattering across the room from a broken knee. The ground was covered in the Vaunghe trainees, sputtering blood and mumbling on the ground. And yet more still poured down the stairs, until finally it happened, a perpetual cycle of tripping.
For a brief few moments everyone was falling, Osmund, the party, the Vaunghe soldiers, everyone was tripping over everyone else, breaking bones and fracturing the body everywhere. Someone was just yelling perpetually, everytime he slowed down they just started back up again.
And it was as Osmund flew across this room, it was now that he remembered the gift of the gods. It had been about three days since it was gifted to him, a weapon to use in an emergency. It was a small handheld device, with a large pin sticking out of it. Upon removing the pin the device would combust, destroying everything around it. The one thing Osmund was told was to never be in a situation that risks removing the pin, or else he would explode.
Osmund had completely forgotten about the device, what he called god’s gift, until now. He scrambled into his pocket, feeling only two of the three gifts in his pocket, apparently the third had fallen out somewhere. Now beginning to sweat, Osmund called out to his soldiers around the room.
“Everyone, one of the gifts is missing! Move now!” The party began to panic, and now the squirming ocean of people became even harder to navigate.
Everywhere were bodies, Osmund attempting to wade through the field of people. He was halfway through strangling an obese man to death when he saw it. The god’s gift was lying on the floor between the mass of flesh this room had become. Osmund released the fat man and forced his way through the wide group of people, hand reaching for the gift. The string of Vaunghe had ended at this point, however it was at this point the Alizian military finally broke through into the room.
Flooding the room the force of their entry threw another Vaunghe into Osmund sending the gift flying directly towards Balmun, who appeared to be trying to climb the wall and escape the flood. Balmun unexpectedly caught the gift, and looked down at it in surprise.
“Hey Osmund, I have a very cunning plan!”
“No Gods be damned you idiot do not pull that pin!” Doubt came across Balmun’s face as he looked at the object, and then at the pin in his other hand.
Osmund then saw something fly through the air and back into the hole the group had entered from. Osmund looked back towards Balmun, who shrugged and raised the pin, embarrassment high on his face.
And then there was a loud bang, an explosion filled the room. Osmund was thrown against the wall alongside everyone else in the room, and for a brief second no one did anything. Reeling Osmund slowly clambered out of the mass of bodies he was now trapped inside of, looking around for survivors. There was a larger hole where the entrance used to be, alongside large bloody chunks of some poor sod who attempted to escape.
The Alizian’s reappeared in the doorway, noticing Osmund and approaching him with support. Everyone in the room was now bloody and beaten, save for Balmun who was for some reason running up the stairs, sword raised, issuing a battle cry. Osmund sighed, a loud ringing in his left ear silencing everything, and proceeded to follow the idiot upstairs. He was followed by one of the Enick twins and Jumun, with the other members of the party being unconscious amongst the heaps of flesh the room had become.
The group kicked in the top door of the tower, greeting the last few of the army. These men were older, and armed with real weapons. Osmund pushed Balmun forward with great force, stopping him from being hit by a sword and sending him tumbling into two of the soldiers.
Osmund dodged a sword swing, sending a gut punch in turn. The snap of bone and another Vaunghe was forced to the floor, blood spurting. Osmund’s hard rock fist shattered a man’s face in two, sending another Vaunghe down. Two more were taken out by Osmund’s party, with Balmun still on the floor.
A tall man, one of around 9 ft, charged Osmund to the floor, the impact deep on Osmund’s back. Osmund rolled, forcing the man to the ground and began pummeling him. Punching Osmund slammed through the man’s cheap armour, then his face, and Osmund kept punching until the man’s insides now coated Osmund’s outsides. Moving back, Osmund failed to see the man from behind him. By the time Osmund realised it was too late.
Something hard and metallic rasped off of Osmund’s head, sending him flying onto the ground, and as Osmund sweeped his feet he felt someone fall behind him. Blood rushed through Osmund’s nose and ear onto the floor, feeling the damage overwhelm him briefly. For a brief second Osmund forgot who he was, felt nothing but existence itself, and then his inner self focused on the pain, and came back to his senses.
Osmund turned, looking down at the man he’d tripped, now on the floor, and the item in his hands. It was silver, and oddly shaped, although Osmund felt he’d seen it before somewhere, although from where he knew it escaped him. Osmund crawled onto the man, pressing his hands against the man’s throat, and began to squeeze. The man’s resistance was futile, he spun around, kicking back at Osmund to no avail, until finally his windpipe gave way and caved in.
Slowly Osmund began to rise, the blood pouring out of him at an alarming rate. Covered in the blood and filth of himself and others, Osmund rose up and finally realised what hit him. The metal object was a bedpan, although hopefully not a used one, and Osmund picked it up, remarking at the dent his head had left on it. A lesser man may have been killed by such a weapon, however Osmund is by no means lesser.
He looked around to see the last Vaunghe soldier standing alone, surrounded by his allies. However there was something by the soldier’s feet that made Osmund freeze. The second gift of God was lying there, right beside the soldier’s foot. As the soldier moved for a valiant last fight he slipped on the gift, and Osmund heard the pin shoot out.
As Osmund moved to the stairs he grabbed anyone he could, two shapes clutched to his body, and jumped out of the room and down the stairs. The explosion rocked the tower, and as Osmund rolled down the stairs he took out a great number of Alizian’s trying to join the fight. As he rolled he also noticed the tower itself was also coming down, although Osmund knew he’d be dead by the time it hit the ground.
As Osmund and the two beside him hurtled to the ground Osmund’s vision began to fade, his eyes glossed over, and everything was black.

It would be cool to have some more early game options for building. I could see these as being meadows or black forest build pieces. Might need a new material - clay.
It would introduce some variety to early game builds, maybe even some colour too.
Turf roofs could also introduce the option offering players the option of gardening from the relative safety of their rooftops.these, paired with the dvenger doors would make some cook hobbit hole options too ☺️