I've been heavily focused on building a decent rally car. I've been using the Mazda GTR. It's a fun little car. I was first having trouble launching and lengthened the gears and all that. I can't remember exactly what I changed but I think it might have been damping. I increased something to do with the springs and my launches were so much better. There isn't anything in the in game description pointing to launching. I actually had a decent amount of grip and was able to shorten gear 1. Eventually I put off-road tires on the car which obviously helped even more.
I'm wondering if there's a guide that goes deep into what helps most for the different track types. I'll be honest, I'm here to race, but I like tuning a little bit, but I feel like open world has different handling than races. Don't know why. I don't like stopping and starting the races to change a small thing. Spent probably over an hour today tuning this one car and street cars are different so I'll have to do that all over again and learn what's different. Send help.

The game is made for us players to suffer lmao HASDHASDHASD. It's my 2nd time farming elysium and lmao the amount of work and drop rate is fxckin insane for uni 34, but i understand ae is pretty trash when it comes to their players, cant really blame botters tho, and fck yall dont be angelic and pretend u didnt bot or used auto clickers in ur life, its the same thing. Lets be fr we're growin up and some of us have responsibilities to do other than wasting time farming on hc items on the game, i cant understand why ae did not create their own bot lmao considering the amount of botters in the game, pretty ironic that their game based is just people who are using. Very time consuming, u cant really enjoy the game not unless u have an ample of time, like dude cmon its 2023 and there are mmorpg games that has autoplay/auto attack system. The one thing i also hate is the dropping of items especially when u disconnected in the game, it won't go in ur invent or bank and u have to ask for ae team supp just to recover the item i guess dk havent tried lmao very ridiculous also its the same with quest you'll lose ur progress when u got dc. Look I love the game but yall cant deny the fact that it has some bad sides lets be fr, ae should def do something about their game and stop focusing more on money, and prioritize their players first.

I am disabled. I am invisibly so unless you see me outside work (work does not accommodate me, legally, because they'd have to find me a new job -- I am still fighting them on this but HR is based in Texas so I'm just trying to hold onto this job for 3 more months). I have hEDS and my work schedule changes weekly. I am also estranged (LC) from my parents, due to 1) homophobic personal views that offend the hell out of me (I'm not straight), and 2) general inability to understand disability.
I am also in dire need of weekly therapy. But because work has been slow, and EDS has been getting in my way, I have managed to have to cancel therapy to keep my job. I am not looking forward to my review on Wednesday. This week, I have: annual review (Wednesday, I qualify because I've been here longer than 6mo, fuck me right?), repair the damn car (someone hit my parked car and drove off like a DICK), try to get 40 billable hours (billability is the metric this coming fiscal year, yay...), and bonus, pay the IRS because my parents fucked up teaching me how to do taxes so I spent today fixing that problem. (The IRS employee was actually very nice to me about it given everything. I confused the poor guy by explaining why my tax situation was so strange last year.)
I have ADHD. I have meds, too, and likely PTSD (yay trauma disorders...) and depression. My parents did not set me up for success as an adult; my mom insisted on doing ALL my taxes even in college when I insisted I needed to know because she wasn't always free, and her response was Just wait, I'll do it, it's fine. It's not fine. I am still wrangling my money out from under her. With that, the rest of this post is a fucking rant about things I REALLY need therapy for but cannot this week because my job is trying to kill me with stress. Because fuck me, right? It's not like I matter, not when the company might lay me off and then my parents will find out and insist on sending me money. (Which comes with strings attached. I can't trust money from my parents. It always comes with conditions.)
My parents are still on my fucking bank account. Not my car insurance, but bank account, and also they have a lot of my personal stuff from childhood. I have been trying to find time to remove them this month but it's been very hard and I now won't have time to tomorrow. The things they have that are very personal, I'd like back -- like my books, and my stuffed animals from childhood. I don't buy them keeping it around now for sentimental reasons. I'm fairly sure it's another string to try and force me to do things, because why not? I'm the girl, obviously I am there to manage their shit for them (huge /s). None of my personal property was respected growing up (my parents literally gave away a good sewing machine that I had been gifted because my mom was too impatient to teach me anything), so I now can't trust things won't vanish. I'm extremely crafty and was always pressured not to buy things growing up, to the point that I am so fiscally responsible, I can't help but only buy from clearance racks, etc.
Oh, and my ADHD decided to respond to stress by making me forget timing on something this past weekend so now I've offended two people I thought were friends, and now I have no idea if I still have those people to rely on or not, and I kinda shut down due to trauma (again) trying to apologize. Because reasons were never accepted growing up, I didn't tell them exactly how many crises hit last week. For context, I don't get time blind on medication for ADHD without a damn good reason. I recognize part of the explosion was a friend really struggling with her own situation, but I cannot handle the mental load of her exploding on me and so I shut down. I had to prioritize my friend stuck in an abusive relationship on Saturday and mistimed things because I am trying not to tell my friend how much I hate her spouse. (I have not vented to this D&D group about abusive spouse. I hate abusive spouse. He triggers me. I fucking hate him so, so much.)
I'm just. I'm tired. I'm in therapy, I'm doing the right things, I'm finally prioritizing my health, and everything this week has decided to throw at me has been: here, crisis time, no support for you! I am trying so fucking hard but it feels like this is a house of cards that is just crumbling around me. I just wanted to crochet a pride flag and feel happy this week, and play some D&D. And instead I get all this bullshit. I will be ordering my yarn for it regardless but like, ugh.

Hi,
I just started using Proxmox about a month ago and it has been a nightmare, but things are working. Today, I tried to login to the GUI but I keep getting a "Login Failed. Please try again" error.
I know the password and username are correct (root), because its the same password and username I've been using to login for the past month. I use a password manager that automatically fills it out for me.
I also use TOTP for 2FA and I think this is the culprit. However, I can't disable it without getting to the GUI, and through my googling the documentation doesn't list how i can disable it from there.
I'm frustrated and tired of dealing with this hypervisor and am just hoping someone can help me get into my instance so I can back up my servers and migrate to something else. Proxmox is not for me.
Thanks
​
Edit: ssh into my server and can see from the logs that its the TOTP failing. I don't know why or how it just suddenly started failing either.

TL;DR: Kleavor's shiny rate (1 in 11.5), crowd-sourced by Japanese players, was slightly lower than other raid days like Hisuian Braviary and Avalugg (~1 in 10). The difference is small, but the sample size (22k) is large enough that it's extremely unlikely to be just RNG. There's no evidence why, but a SPECULATION - that's still unconfirmed - is that Kleavor's shiny rates from remote raids may have been much lower than in-person raids.
​
Earlier today, I posted that the Lake Trio's shiny rates from remote T5 raids may have been nerfed, according to crowd-sourced data on 9db, a popular Japanese website where anyone can submit a report of their shiny hunting results.
Thanks to comments from both Reddit and Discord, I was reminded that we can also use the data to compare Kleavor Raid Day (May 2023, after remote raid passes have been nerfed) to earlier raid days such as Hisuian Avalugg, Mega Gyarados and Hisuian Braviary (December, September and July 2022 respectively, before the remote nerf).

The data

Here's the crowd-sourced data from 9db. Please be reminded that the data is user-reported, not controlled, and does not differentiate in-person vs remote raids.

• Kleavor: 1 in 11.5 (1985/22754, 8.72%) (link)
• Hisuian Avalugg: 1 in 9.8 (1317/12894, 10.21%) (link)
• Mega Gyarados: 1 in 7.32 (286/2094, 13.66%) (link) - much smaller sample size
• Hisuian Braviary: 1 in 9.1 (2644/24034, 11.00%) (link)

As established from raid days all the way back in 2018, such events usually have 1/10 as their standard shiny rate. Hisuian Avalugg, Mega Gyarados and Hisuian Braviary's user reports all ended up biasing too high, in line with the other reports I noted in my earlier post.
But Kleavor, despite having a similar sample size as Hisuian Braviary, ended up being too low from the expected 1/10 shiny rate.

The statistical tests - Could it be just RNG?

While "1 in 11.5" and "1 in 9.1" don't look too different at first glance, it turns out the difference is "statistically significant" - i.e. the sample size is large enough that it's extremely unlikely to be RNG.
The 2-prop Z-test is a standard method in statistics to test, in PoGo terms, whether "shiny rates" from two samples are different from each other. Online calculators can be found here (so you can run the same tests that I did).
Let's first compare Kleavor and Hisuian Braviary, since they have similar sample sizes. The left-tailed p-value, or the probability that Kleavor's shiny rate was not nerfed from Hisuian Braviary's, is 0.0000000000000056%. Therefore, we are almost certain that Kleavor's overall shiny rate was lower than Hisuian Braviary's.
Similarly, comparing Kleavor and Hisuian Avalugg, the p-value is 0.00016%. Again, this shows near certainty that Kleavor's overall shiny rate was lower than Hisuian Avalugg's.

• Note: As a sanity check, I also compared Avalugg to Braviary. Interestingly enough, there does seem to be a statistically significant difference between the two - even using a two-tailed test, or "whether they're the same" instead of "whether Avalugg is lower", the p-value ends up being 0.020, below the commonly used 0.05 threshold. While it's possible that Avalugg's shiny rate was indeed changed from Braviary, this means there's still a 2% chance that it happened solely due to RNG from Japanese players - and that's 1000x more likely than Kleavor's case being RNG.

The above were independently confirmed by EverdarkRaven from the PokeMiners Discord server, both by hand and using a calculator.

What could have been changed?

So the Z-test tells us there's something different between Kleavor and prior raid days - but we don't know what's the difference.
----- [Warning: Here's where the speculation comes in.] -----
A possible SPECULATION is: What if the shiny rate from Remote raids was lower than in-person raids?
A few days after Kleavor Raid Day happened, people were making this speculation online. The idea was best illustrated by this tweet:

Remote: 3 shinies from 348 raids
In person: 52 shinies from 620 raids

Taken at face value, this would show a shiny rate of 1/116 from remote raids, and 1/11.9 from in-person raids. Note this is a small sample size and subject to high uncertainty.

• Recap: The 9db data for Azelf and Mesprit are 1/130 and 1/67 respectively, as of writing.

There were a few other tweets on the Kleavor situation, such as this and this.
This is a plausible explanation for the difference in aggregate user-reported shiny rates on 9db that I discussed above. 9db does not distinguish in-person raids from remote raids, and we can reasonably assume that most people did Kleavor raids in person, as it was a soloable Tier 3 raid.
But even if a small proportion of reports were remote, and even if the shiny rate wasn't changed too much (e.g. to 1/64), this would be enough to drag down the total average to 1/11.5.

Could it be biases in player reports?

This is less clear than the Azelf and Mesprit discussion, but I still maintain the same opinion as the previous post: Very unlikely.
As I mentioned in great detail in the previous post, 9db typically got most other shiny rates right. If anything, they're usually biased too high. Kleavor's reported shiny rate would have ended up too low if it was a uniform 1/10.
Furthermore, even though the speculation has gained traction after the raid day, nobody had that thought before the raid day started. The data collection was only open for a bit more than a day (with the vast majority of reports in the first 8 hours), and I didn't see any references to the Japanese site in the English discussions on Twitter. I doubt too many unlucky players would have purposely gone to 9db to skew the reports after seeing the speculations on Twitter.

What we DO and DO NOT know

I reiterate: The only thing we can say with near certainty is that something was different between Kleavor and previous raid days. We can't conclude anything more than that.
In particular, the following are NOT confirmed:

• Whether it's even true that shiny rates from remote raids were nerfed. (Some hints suggesting it, but inconclusive)
• What the remote shiny rate was. (Could be 1/64, 1/128, who knows. Might even be 1/20, although that seems less likely.)
• Whether the shiny rate change also affected in-person raids.
• Whether the "remote shiny nerf" also affected other Tier 5 raid bosses between Kleavor and the Lake Trio. Namely: Genesect, Tapu Fini and Regigigas.
  • 9db did not run surveys for any of the three raid bosses, nor Uxie. It's unclear why, but seems like they had skipped bosses before.
  • Two possibilities: 1) The remote shiny nerf went in place since Kleavor raid day. 2) Kleavor raid day was a trial run, and it only went in place at the start of the Season of Hidden Gems.
  • Again, they're speculations, and can't be confirmed nor disproved yet.

I don't know what just happened but everything just hit me like a truck. There's like a insane weight on my chest. My head hurts. I can't think straight. I thought I was getting better and doing okay. I thought i could do it. But Inside I just feel as if im a child that's constantly crying. I can't keep doing this. Fuck. Why. I can't do this anymore. I can't. I want to hate them so much. No person should have to go through this pain. No answers, no closure, not even a honest goodbye. Goddammit. I can't get her out of my head. It hurts. So much.

Just a bit of background about me. I have undiagnosed choking/coughing and have had to seek help int he ER over the past few years between many, many specialist visits. One night I was vomiting and unable to take my rescue meds. My husband called an ambulance because the choking was causing me to vomit. This is pretty rare (I regularly receive Botox injection to my throat, but we believe they had worn off early)...so the protocol is to take 4mg of Zofran and 1mg Hydromorphone until the choking ceases. When I arrived at the ER the Dr. told me "I don't give narcotics.". I said that was fine. I had a prescription at home but was struggling with swallowing. He seemed very irritated and annoyed with me. He told me he wouldn't treat me unless I allowed him to give me IV Haldol. Within 30 seconds of it entering my vein I felt like I was losing my mind. I wanted to die. I can't describe it. It was the worst anxiety, panic, agitation I've ever known and I just wanted to die. I couldn't speak. I could barely move and I felt trapped in my body. He came in later and smirked and said..."Well, see...now you don't need a narcotic." and left. I ended up yanking the IV from my arm and somehow finding my husband in the waiting room who could tell something was VERY wrong. He took me home (I didn't even tell them I was leaving or sign anything). We got home...and I shook violently with anxiety for almost a week and a half with no sleep, feeling insane, and wanting to commit suicide. FINALLY it subsided. I googled Haldol and there are quite a few cases of it being prescribed as a "medical straightjacket" to unruly patients? WHY. Why would this man do this to me? It's been months and months and I can barely get out of bed. I live in constant fear of another choking episode and having to visit the ER again. Since that visit my life has never been the same and I can't even remember what happy feels like.

I've recently been diagnosed with this and I have 0 idea what I'm doing. I can eat almost all foods but I can't have anything with carbonation. Recently, I ate REALLY spicy wings and brushed my teeth after. I didn't brush them an hour after though. Maybe like...30 minutes later? I threw up after though. I can't tell if it was from the really spicy wings or the tooth brushing too early. I throw up multiple hours after I eat something bad so I can never pin point it. I've eaten the wings before and I've never thrown up.
I'm asking this because I've been scared to brush my teeth in the mornings because I'm scared eat breakfast after I do ( if you can't tell, yes im scared of vomiting ). I want to brush my teeth, but vomiting isn't fun. That's why I'm asking what do you think the cause was? What would you do in my situation?

33m 32 f. We both used and abused each other. We never loved on time. We did things to spite each other. Sex was the best I may ever have, but it wasn't worth all the bs. It's been a little over a month since we finally ended it. But the back and forth texts, and few conversations, it just sucks. We had both seen other people in our on and off 4.5 year relationship, yet we kept coming back to each other. You started talking to someone and couldn't end it until you thought he was a sure thing. Can't believe we talked about marriage and a kid. I've done almost a whole 180 this last month. This breakup gave me purpose and meaning in my life. That I can keep working on myself and find someone more compatible. I just am having a hard time ridding you out of my subconscious. It's getting easier. I hope you don't pop up in my life again if your relationship fails. I'm not the same person anymore. Just need more time to heal.

First post here. And it's a long one, and I feel that I need to get this out.
As a 36 year old who had a mental breakdown October 2021, never have I realised just how much damage has been done to me mentally and emotionally since I was a child. My mother, who loved me (and we have since mended the strained relationship we had by her acknowledging the damage she has done), wasn't really fit to be a mother. As someone who I think had a rough childhood growing up, projected alot of her own, as well as new, issues onto me. She was petrified of confrontation, so it was easier for her to blame me for the issues I was having with friends, family, bullying, schoolmates, etc, than to actually confront the issues at hand. My earliest memory of this is being 5 years old when the next door neighbours kid (same age) hit me for something, and she said to me "maybe you did something to cause this.". It's like it was impossible for someone to lash out at others without being provoked. This was a common theme growing up, and it only got worse as time went on. I went to 7 different schools growing up, thanks to my dad's job as a bank manager, so that compounded the problem. Having recently being diagnosed with ADHD and being given dexamphetamine, has that really opened my mind as to why I was never able to fit in. Because I didn't know how to. I was the weird kid in each class and it became such an issue when hitting year 7 that things really got worse. Not sure of the reasons, but hitting high school, I lost almost all my friends. It could've been how I was and how I was acting. This came with endless bullying, humiliation, ostracization and it caused me to cry. Alot. In class. In front of everyone as I was sitting by myself at the front of the class. It became a joke amongst my year. Which made the problem worse. I do digress here, but this also ties into my mother, once again, blaming me for the issues I had growing up. "You're being bullied? Just ignore it. They will stop." "You were beaten up? Maybe you did something to cause it." "Just walk away from it." "You can't say anything back or lash out, because then you'd be in trouble and they wouldn't." It was endless. It also didn't stop at home. I have family that I'm sure viewed me as the black sheep. The family retard if you will. Being someone who couldn't fit in literally anywhere, I was kinda weird around family members as well. Also having a mother who, looking back, probably viewed me as an embarrassment and told me to settle down or stop when I started to open up and try and be myself. My cousin, who we will call Daniel, was able to manipulate those around him to get what he wanted. He also knew that I had a very short fuse with him and he was willing to press my buttons just to have me removed from the picture. He is a textbook narcissist. Whenever I stated that he has done something to hurt me, he would project that back into me saying "you did it as well". Family sided with him, leaving me angry, frustrated and upset as no one listened. An event I recently remembered, which I had repressed, was when I was around 10, I was laying on the loungroom floor, and I was holding a balloon. Not sure why I was, but I was. My cousin and his sister decided that they wanted it, purely because I had it. They said they wanted it. I said no. Daniel, being the fat fuck he was, fell ontop of me, winding and hurting me quite badly, held me down while his sister grabbed the balloon off me. He got up, they were happy with the outcome, and laughed about it. I got up, in tears and ran out of the room. I crossed paths with my dad, who grabbed me by the arm, and as I was yelling and screaming at him to let me go, he dragged me back into the loungroom to make me apologise for making my cousins feel uncomfortable. Completely oblivious to what had transpired. Not that it mattered, as he wouldn't have believe me anyways. My outburst has made my cousins realize, that they had done fucked up, and that realization was showing on their face. They didn't think that I would react that way. Having a family that has treated me this way and ridiculed me for the smallest things, I can no longer be myself around them. I have many different stories of different things happening where it showcases family, friends, schoolmates and colleagues being shitty people. Having living in an environment that had me believing that everything that happened to me was entirely my fault, has resulted in a non-confidential adult who questions everything. Every argument. Every interaction, I always find the easiest way out so I can limit the blame. Being unable to process emotions, situations and stand up for myself, turned me into a person that didn't really treat those around me with a great deal of respect. And that's something I truly regret and hate about myself. Fast forward to today, the meds have changed me for the better. I'm able to interact with those around me without awkwardness, speak up for myself, and have general better self care. I'm still all matters of fucked up, but I'm a lot better now that what I ever was. I'm not exactly sure I know what normal feels like, but I have a better understanding on what was wrong and moving towards normal. I also hate that I haven't grown up with the same resilience that others who have dealt with similar or worse. I don't really have the personality to be able to move on properly. I'll be the first to admit that I never knew how to actually "Get over it". I am also eternally grateful for my fiance. She had a similar childhood, but she has grown up so level headed and supportive and is able to guide me through the toughest time I have ever experienced. We currently have a wedding to plan and the issues that is taking hold at the moment is my cousin Daniel not being invited. He hasn't exactly treated my fiance with respect and speaks down to her like she's not worthy of his time. My mother thinks that it's going to cause a huge rift in the family, but then that shows that his feelings are more of a priority to the rest of the family than my well-being. It's taken a long time and a lot of talking and convincing to get my mother on our side but we think she's finally gotten the picture. There's a small part of me that thinks that all it's going to take is a small push for her to revert back to her old ways, but I guess time will tell.
If you've made it this far, thanks for reading.

For many years I lived thinking most if not everything I did was right and justified but during a recent shroom trip ( 3.5 gram first time ) I truly recognized and felt the weight of all my sins and stupid choices, I saw from beginning to end where every choice I thought was right at the time turned out to be the complete opposite and I heard a voice, not mine telling me about them and insulting me, i went to the camera and after years of minor insecurity but mostly thinking im a 10/10 because i could pull bitches and im a lightskin so lots of girls liked that. But as i looked in the camera, and later the mirror all i saw was a disgusting, selfish, stupid, ignorant irresponsible man looking back. Now I want to kill my self, my inner self that makes me think what im doing is okay and is lead by impulse. Any tips on how to go about this? Should I take a higher dose of shrooms, or try some other psychedelic that will change me somehow? I cant kill myself physically because I know of the pain it would cause for the people around me but after days of constant self reflection I am certain that i truly hate myself, not in a “ oh why am i not good enough way “ in a “ i am a terrible person who needs to change drastically to love and be loved properly “. Thank you.

Why in the name of all that's holy is it the way that it is?
I'm talking about https://keep.google.com/#reminders in the web interface.
For me, it shows (a huge swath of, obviously) past ("Sent") reminders in ascending chronological order first. All of them. Even, especially, including archived ones. Only when I scroll all the way to the bottom (which is not possible quickly/in one go because of the dynamic, piece-wise loading) there's a comparatively tiny section "Upcoming", apparently also in ascending chronological order, which - to me - is perfectly sensible within there.
I've looked in the settings, there's certainly nothing obvious to change this behavior.
For me, the no-brain sensible default would be to display upcoming reminders first, in ascending order. Collapsible, for people who have more of those than I tend to keep queued, to quickly get them out of the way when I/they want to look in the past; or an anchor to jump to the other section or such). And only below this, the already sent reminders in reverse chronological order. I would prefer for archived items to not be shown at all. At least by default; possibly have a check box to "also show archived reminders". I wouldn't mind archived reminders to only be accessible in the "Archive" section with all other non-reminder archived notes.
My underlying use case is that quite often I wish to adjust the notification time of a note with a future reminder / "take care of it now" when I got a couple minutes, but that note might only be a picture/photograph, so I can't easily access it using Search.
How do you all use reminders (effectively), without this 'detail' perpetually making things... inconvenient? I don't feel my use case/requirement is particularly niche, but then, we all tend to feel this way 😉
I've looked around a bit and saw no obvious place to get an issue report / enhancement request directly to Google (but rather found this place). What's a good way for a request like this to get some traction at Google?

TL;DR: My dad treats me different now that im an adult, does he still love me?
For a little backstory I (20M) live with my parents alongside my siblings. I would say that my life was okayish, had a roof over my head had food and my siblings. My Dad growing up wasnt the best Dad but I still love him, he is very misogynistic, suffers from depression and axiety and I feel like he is not mentally there sometimes. When my Dad was in a good mood he was the greatest dad you can ask for, beloved by everyone and honestly him and my mom are my love, I love them so much, but I would say maybe two maybe three times a year he wouldn't be nice and would throw things and say hurtful things, i know hes sick but it still hurt, over the years with medication he improved and he loved me a lot and now i love him a lot still but i say hes gotten really good and saying things that hurt.

Eversince i got older he tells me how he controls me and how he can take everything away from me and be left with nothing since he pays, which is true and I respond that i also pay bills and have put money into the car and he throws money at me tells me he doesn't need me. Now he just argues with me for no reason over small things in which he then gets mad and starts escalating more bringing more things to the argument. I feel like he doesn't see me as his son I feel like he sees me as a threat to his dominance since i am now an adult, how do I make him realize that i love him and im his son, i dont want to argue i dont wanna compete. The Way he's to me is different i dont wanna grow up, im afraid, i feel like the more i grow the more i drift from him. 

Every argument i would cry and my dad would console me and he still does with every argument, is like he realizes im his son again and apologizes and treats me nice, and again im reminded of the man that i grew up to love just like everyone. Now everytime we argue im not sad instead i feel angry and despise towards him and he again apologizes but i still feel despise towards him, i cry i dont cry for him i cry at the thought that im not loving him anymore, i sometimes wonder if i hate him, but i dont wanna hate him hes given me so much and i saw how much hes sacrificed. I cry at the thought that if it continues like this im afraid that i will no longer see him as a dad that i love just someone who happens to be my dad. He tells me how he hates arguing with me and it hurts him but it hurts me too, im afraid that ill hurt him by saying something about not wanting to be his son.
I don't know what to do anymore, I'm tired. I don't wanna feel anymore, why can't I be strong and cold, why do I feel emotions so hard, why is it that when people argue I get scared and why do I see that this world Is a really sad place, do I have the right to be sad? Other people go through so much more I should be grateful right? I love my dad but I'm not sure now. I'm your son, I'm not a bad one, I dont drink I don't go out I work but don't go to school I'm nice, but can say hurtful things that i regret, am I a failure? I'm your son not a grown man thats a stranger to you, i love you. I wonder if it's just me?

my mom she’s a complicated person, she has bipolar disorder n don’t wanna take her meds cuz god has saved her. She has fucked me up over the years n i finally been able to forgive her for what she’s has done n unblocked her after 2 years but now she keeps on texting i mean i understand why she still loves but she is just not a good person and i really don’t wanna text her back but they way she’s texting just trying to do anything for me to text back makes me feel so guilty the more i ignore her the more i feel like i’ve never really forgave her for what she did to me you. anyways if can pls help me with this conundrum

I went on a vacation recently and found this method to be almost too good to be true. I'm not sure why it took me so long to figure this out but I'm not going back now.
I use the app ADM on my android to rapidly download the games (this isn't a tutorial on where to find the games, rules and shit), then plug the USB directly into my phone and bam, under 5 min per game. Unlimited data makes this amazing.
I have a 128gb internal storage on my S20 Ultra and another 128gb on top of that on a microsd. Ironically the phone can emulate most PSP games, but there's something special about using real hardware. Also, it kills the battery so it's not very feasible when out and about.
Also, IT CHARGES THE PSP WHILE YOU'RE CONNECTED TO THE USB
That is all. Enjoy your week fuckers

Hello. I am a YouTube creator and a writer known as Equestria Guy. I have a YouTube channel dedicated mostly to video essays about movies, shows, mostly animation. I am preparing a special video for Pride Month (which starts June 1st). The video is going to be called “How LGBTQ+ Representation Helps People''. I want to collect real stories from real people. How representation in modern media (cartoons, movies, shows, video games, etc.) helped you to come in terms with your sexuality and accept yourself. How LGBTQ+ characters influenced, inspired, positively affected you.
You can send me a message here, on Reddit. Or you can write to me on Instragram, TikTok, whichever option is preferable to you. I want you to share your story with me. You can share your name, city where you live, age, but that’s not mandatory. You can just share your nickname on social media and that's all right.
Send me your sincere story. You can just send a wall of text and I will voice it myself, or you can record your story yourself and I will include it in my video. Again, whichever option is best for you.
You can send your photograph or avatar in social media, or nothing, that's also fine.
My goal is to show why representation matters. How it helps people to find themselves. LGBTQ+ is still one of the most oppressed groups in the world, unfortunately. You deserve your voices to be heard.
If you have social media accounts, I can share links, so if my video, hopefully, gets popular, you might benefit by gaining more subscribers and followers.
If you want to participate, please, don’t hesitate to hit me up.
Sincerely yours,
Equestria Guy

(ALL NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED)
Lisa (21f) and I (21f) have been best friends since childhood and have grown into adulthood together. She started dating her boyfriend, George (23m), over three years ago and I honestly never really liked him but I never told her that. I just wanted to support her because she was happy.
Recently, I found out through a mutual friend, Emma (23f), that George had asked her some really weird stuff over text two years ago. He had told her sexual fantasies he had of her and asked if she’s a virgin or if she’s touched herself. It was really gross and invasive. Emma and George were in this big friend group that stems from a religious youth group community. After those texts, Emma had told their friends about it and all of George’s friends cut him off. She also tried to get help through the youth group’s organizers who ended up brushing her off. Word got to George’s parents and siblings and they did nothing about it because they care too much about their family’s reputation in the community and they were just happy he could find a girlfriend.
Emma ended up telling me about this when we had gotten closer this year. She didn’t have support from anyone in this community who would back her up upon telling Lisa. The instant I found out, I had to tell Lisa. I couldn’t believe no one had told her in the two years since it had happened. Emma and I devised a plan to break the news to Lisa with another close friend of Lisa’s.
We tried our best to make it not feel like we were ganging up on her and we tried to find a safe space to do it in so she could feel supported. She was obviously in shock and quite distraught upon finding out. It was like a 2 hour kind of hug session where we just held her and talked to her about it all.
Later that night, George sent Emma an apology that literally said “I’m sorry for making you feel like you were being harassed” and said stuff about how he doesn’t want it to look like he’s that kind of person. BS apology in my opinion. Textbook level gaslighting.
The next day, I went to go check on Lisa. She came out and hugged me thanking me for being such a good friend. But then she said… “but I’ve made my decision and I’m staying with him.” Not only that, but she said she’s going to have to end our friendship too bc she can’t see both of those relationships co-existing. I’m her closest friend in the world. Best friends since childhood. I know her better than anyone. This is insane. From my pov, he has this strange control over her disguised as love. I think he’s been manipulating her all these years and now he’s winning as she cuts off all of her friends.
I asked her what George thought about her leaving her friends and he told her “do whatever you have to do”. He showed no concern about his girlfriend losing any outside support system other than him. That’s not something a partner should just accept like that. She’s told me that he is possessive of her. Every time we have every hung out he always calls her and she kind of stiffens up and goes to another room to speak to him privately. She’s told me before that she felt like she was playing therapist when he lost all his friends for no reason (except now we know the reason), and that it was really hard on her. All these things I’ve noticed about their relationship are all making sense now. The night that we had told her the news, Emma had seen Lisa’s phone light up with about 100 messages from George, and that was before he even knew what was happening. And again, the fact that he basically sexually harassed her friend should be enough reason for them to break up. He basically tried to cheat on Lisa but wasn’t good enough at it because Emma is actually a good person. Above all, he seems controlling and I am worried for her safety. I don’t know what to do.
I am even more concerned that it was so easy for her to just dump all of her friends for a boy. She is not that kind of person. This is her first relationship, the first guy who’s ever liked her. She’s always been a hopeless romantic and loves being in love but I think she’s so blinded by her optimism that she can’t see the danger she’s in. Every since the start, I felt weird about their relationship but didn’t know why. Now I know why. What should I do to help her? I need all the advice I can get.
TLDR; Best friend’s bf harassed a her other friend over text years ago. He has also been controlling throughout their relationship. When best friend found out what happened, she cut off all of her friends instead of her bf. I’m worried for her safety in this relationship.

I just went to BWW and was informed that they would be trying out a new paperless order system. We were informed that this was the very first day they were doing it, and that were were some of the first people to be trying it out. Instead of getting regular menus we were told to scan a QR code that brought us to a prompt to put in a phone number to get a verification code. After you verify, you're finally allowed to view the menu and place an order. When you hit "place order" instead of being able to start a cart, you have to put in a debit or credit card before you can place your order. At the bottom, there's a message that says you won't be charged at time of placing your order, but if after 70 minutes of leaving the restaurant and not having paid, you will automatically be charged. Then you're allowed to begin your order.
Firstly I understand why they are doing this. 1. They want to stop dining and dashing. 2. They want to stop people from complaining of their server mishearing their order.
Despite this, I think this system has major flaws and I most likely will not be going back after this experience. The main gripe I have with this is I always pay cash at restaurants. And this system is not very cash friendly at all. During my experience, when I paid cash, the system kept prompting me to pay on the site with a card, even after our server took our cash. We waited about 5-10 minutes with this message after watching our server take my cash and put in the computer, until it finally said the payment was processed ensuring no second charge. Besides the inconvenience of having to wait, I don't like to give out my card info or phone number without reason. Now BWW has my card in their database even though they didn't need it for my transaction.
This system also proves to be a problem for those without cards or phones because they can't even begin to place an order without either of these things. Additionally, although our server was friendly and I tipped her well, she didn't really do anything besides hand us the food and less charitable tippers would rightly feel a lack of need to pay for their service. Now before you write this off as an old boomer complaining about technology, I am 22, grew up with the internet, and prefer self checkouts. I just think this has gone too far and is engaging in annoyingly unnecessary upfront promises of payment before I can even think about getting a service (I have never dined and dashed in my life, why am I getting punished by having to potentially allow my card information to be held in a database or leaked?).
What are everyone's thoughts on this? Is this happening at BWWs near you or am I dining at a pilot restaurant?
P.S. The new system is also really obnoxious when you want to put stuff on the side. You only have two options: have it on or take it off. You can add additional serving instructions but there is no option for me to put my pickles on the side!!!!

Hello. I am a YouTube creator and a writer known as Equestria Guy. I have a YouTube channel dedicated mostly to video essays about movies, shows, mostly animation. I am preparing a special video for Pride Month (which starts June 1st). The video is going to be called “How LGBTQ+ Representation Helps People''. I want to collect real stories from real people. How representation in modern media (cartoons, movies, shows, video games, etc.) helped you to come in terms with your sexuality and accept yourself. How LGBTQ+ characters influenced, inspired, positively affected you.
You can send me a message here, on Reddit. Or you can write to me on Instragram, TikTok, whichever option is preferable to you. I want you to share your story with me. You can share your name, city where you live, age, but that’s not mandatory. You can just share your nickname on social media and that's all right.
Send me your sincere story. You can just send a wall of text and I will voice it myself, or you can record your story yourself and I will include it in my video. Again, whichever option is best for you.
You can send your photograph or avatar in social media, or nothing, that's also fine.
My goal is to show why representation matters. How it helps people to find themselves. LGBTQ+ is still one of the most oppressed groups in the world, unfortunately. You deserve your voices to be heard.
If you have social media accounts, I can share links, so if my video, hopefully, gets popular, you might benefit by gaining more subscribers and followers.
If you want to participate, please, don’t hesitate to hit me up.
Sincerely yours,
Equestria Guy

Casually playing, since starting the gloomrot update i have gained an extra 51 hours on my total hours.
During this time i have seen two 100%
A 100% mutant and a 100% rouge
I thought to myself "ah they mustve made them rarer . No matter, thats why they introduced the mutating gruel. There must be more 99% and 98%."
I farmed brighthaven for 3 hours and found a 99% worker then went home.
I am currently on 5.30hrs on farming a 100% scholar. I cant even find a 98/99% one.
Wtf is this.
Also, the server i am on is offical and as its late, so i am the only one on.
Yes i am mad at my own bad luck but im also mad at the fact that realistically, i should not have to farm for this many hours for this blood.
Cuz i also know, that i cant beat the game without it.
Idk why they changed the spawn rates. This is dumb.

TRACK 1: Hello
[Verse 1]
Hello, it's me
I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet
To go over everything
They say that time's supposed to heal ya, but I ain't done much healing
Hello, can you hear me?
I'm in California dreaming about who we used to be
When we were younger and free
I've forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet
[Pre-Chorus]
There's such a difference between us
And a million miles
[Chorus]
Hello from the other side
I must've called a thousand times
To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done
But when I call, you never seem to be home
Hello from the outside
At least, I can say that I've tried
To tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart
But it don't matter, it clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore
[Verse 2]
Hello, how are you?
It's so typical of me to talk about myself, I'm sorry
I hope that you're well
Did you ever make it out of that town where nothing ever happened?
[Pre-Chorus]
It's no secret that the both of us
Are running out of time
[Chorus]
So hello from the other side (Other side)
I must've called a thousand times (Thousand times)
To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done
But when I call, you never seem to be home
Hello from the outside (Outside)
At least, I can say that I've tried (I've tried)
To tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart
But it don't matter, it clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore
[Bridge]
(Highs, highs, highs, highs, lows, lows, lows, lows)
Ooh, anymore
(Highs, highs, highs, highs, lows, lows, lows, lows)
Ooh, anymore
(Highs, highs, highs, highs, lows, lows, lows, lows)
Ooh, anymore
(Highs, highs, highs, highs, lows, lows, lows, lows)
Anymore
[Chorus]
Hello from the other side (Other side)
I must've called a thousand times (Thousand times)
To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done
But when I call, you never seem to be home
Hello from the outside (Outside)
At least, I can say that I've tried (I've tried)
To tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart
But it don't matter, it clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore
TRACK 2: Send My Love (To Your New Lover)
[Intro]
Just the guitar?
Okay, cool
[Verse 1]
This was all you, none of it me
You put your hands on, on my body and told me
Mmm, told me you were ready
For the big one, for the big jump
I'd be your last love, everlasting, you and me
Mmm, that was what you told me
[Pre-Chorus]
I'm giving you up
I've forgiven it all
You set me free
[Chorus]
Send my love to your new lover
Treat her better
We've gotta let go of all of our ghosts
We both know we ain't kids no more
Send my love to your new lover
Treat her better
We've gotta let go of all of our ghosts
We both know we ain't kids no more
[Verse 2]
I was too strong, you were trembling
You couldn't handle the hot heat rising (Rising)
Mmm, baby, I'm still rising
I was running, you were walking
You couldn't keep up, you were falling down (Down)
Mmm, there's only one way down
[Pre-Chorus]
I'm giving you up
I've forgiven it all
You set me free, oh
[Chorus]
Send my love to your new lover
Treat her better
We've gotta let go of all of our ghosts
We both know we ain't kids no more
Send my love to your new lover
Treat her better
We've gotta let go of all of our ghosts
We both know we ain't kids no more
[Bridge]
If you're ready, if you're ready
If you're ready, I am ready
If you're ready, if you're ready
We both know we ain't kids no more
No, we ain't kids no more
[Pre-Chorus]
I'm giving you up
I've forgiven it all
You set me free
[Chorus]
Send my love to your new lover
Treat her better
We've gotta let go of all of our ghosts
We both know we ain't kids no more
Send my love to your new lover
Treat her better
We've gotta let go of all of our ghosts
We both know we ain't kids no more
[Outro]
If you're ready, if you're ready
(Send my love to your new lover)
If you're ready, are you ready?
(Treat her better)
We've gotta let go of all of our ghosts
We both know we ain't kids no more
If you're ready, if you're ready
(Send my love to your new lover)
If you're ready, are you ready?
(Treat her better)
We've gotta let go of all of our ghosts
We both know we ain't kids no more
TRACK 3: I Miss You
[Verse 1]
I want every single piece of you
I want your heaven and your oceans too
Treat me soft but touch me cruel
I wanna teach you things you never knew, baby
Bring the floor up to my knees
Let me fall into your gravity
Then kiss me back to life to see
Your body standing over me
[Pre-Chorus]
Baby, don't let the lights go down
Baby, don't let the lights go down
Baby, don't let the lights go down
Lights go down, lights go down
Lights go down, lights go down
Down, down, down
[Chorus]
I miss you when the lights go out
It illuminates all of my doubts
Pull me in, hold me tight, don't let go
Baby, give me light
I miss you when the lights go out
It illuminates all of my doubts
Pull me in, hold me tight, don't let go
Baby, give me light
[Verse 2]
I love the way your body moves
Towards me from across the room
Brushing past my every groove
No one has me like you do, baby
Bring your heart, I'll bring my soul
But be delicate with my ego
I wanna step into your great unknown
With you and me setting the tone
[Pre-Chorus]
Baby, don't let the lights go down
Baby, don't let the lights go down
Baby, don't let the lights go down
Lights go down, lights go down
Lights go down, lights go down
Down, down, down
[Chorus]
I miss you when the lights go out
It illuminates all of my doubts
Pull me in, hold me tight, don't let go
Baby, give me light
I miss you when the lights go out
It illuminates all of my doubts
Pull me in, hold me tight, don't let go
Baby, give me light
[Bridge]
We play so dirty in the dark
'Cause we are living worlds apart
It only makes it harder, baby
It only makes it harder, baby
Harder, baby, harder, baby
[Chorus]
I miss you when the lights go out
It illuminates all of my doubts
Pull me in, hold me tight, don't let go
Baby, give me light
I miss you when the lights go out
It illuminates all of my doubts
Pull me in, hold me tight, don't let go
Baby, give me light
[Outro]
I miss you, I miss you
I miss you, I miss you
I miss you, I miss you
I miss you, I miss you
TRACK 4: When We Were Young
[Verse 1]
Everybody loves the things you do
From the way you talk to the way you move
Everybody here is watching you
'Cause you feel like home, you're like a dream come true
But if by chance you're here alone
Can I have a moment before I go?
'Cause I've been by myself all night long
Hoping you're someone I used to know
[Pre-Chorus]
You look like a movie
You sound like a song
My God, this reminds me
Of when we were young
[Chorus]
Let me photograph you in this light
In case it is the last time that we might
Be exactly like we were before we realised
We were sad of getting old, it made us restless
It was just like a movie
It was just like a song
[Verse 2]
I was so scared to face my fears
Nobody told me that you'd be here
And I swear you'd moved overseas
That's what you said when you left me
[Pre-Chorus]
You still look like a movie
You still sound like a song
My God, this reminds me
Of when we were young
[Chorus]
Let me photograph you in this light
In case it is the last time that we might
Be exactly like we were before we realised
We were sad of getting old, it made us restless
It was just like a movie
It was just like a song
[Refrain]
(When we were young)
(When we were young)
(When we were young)
(When we were young)
[Bridge]
It's hard to admit that everything just takes me back
To when you were there, to when you were there
And a part of me keeps holding on just in case it hasn't gone
'Cause I still care, do you still care?
[Breakdown]
It was just like a movie
It was just like a song
My God, this reminds me
Of when we were young
[Refrain]
(When we were young)
(When we were young)
(When we were young)
(When we were young)
[Chorus]
Let me photograph you in this light
In case it is the last time that we might
Be exactly like we were before we realised
We were sad of getting old, it made us restless
Oh, I'm so mad I'm getting old, it makes me reckless
It was just like a movie
It was just like a song
When we were young
TRACK 5: Remedy
[Verse 1]
I remember all of the things that I thought I wanted to be
So desperate to find a way out of my world and finally breathe
Right before my eyes I saw my heart, it came to life
This ain't easy, it's not meant to be, every story has its scars
[Chorus]
But when the pain cuts you deep
When the night keeps you from sleeping
Just look and you will see that I will be your remedy
When the world seems so cruel
And your heart makes you feel like a fool
I promise you will see that I will be
I will be your remedy
[Verse 2]
No river is too wide or too deep for me to swim to you
Come whatever, I'll be the shelter that won't let the rain come through
Your love, it is my truth and I will always love you
Love you, oh
[Chorus]
When the pain cuts you deep
When the night keeps you from sleeping
Just look and you will see that I will be your remedy
When the world seems so cruel
And your heart makes you feel like a fool
I promise you will see that I will be
I will be your remedy
Ohhh, ohhh
When the pain cuts you deep
When the night keeps you from sleeping
Just look and you will see that I will be, I will be
When the world seems so cruel
And your heart makes you feel like a fool
I promise you will see that I will be, I will be
I will be your remedy, mmm, mm-hmm
TRACK 6: Water Under The Bridge
[Verse 1]
If you're not the one for me
Then how come I can bring you to your knees?
If you're not the one for me
Why do I hate the idea of being free?
And if I'm not the one for you
You've gotta stop holding me the way you do
Oh honey, if I’m not the one for you
Why have we been through what we have been through?
[Pre-Chorus]
It's so cold out here in your wilderness
I want you to be my keeper
But not if you are so reckless
[Chorus]
If you're gonna let me down, let me down gently
Don't pretend that you don't want me
Our love ain't water under the bridge
If you're gonna let me down, let me down gently
Don't pretend that you don't want me
Our love ain't water under the bridge
Say that our love ain't water under the bridge
[Verse 2]
What are you waiting for?
You never seem to make it through the door
And who are you hiding from?
It ain't no life to live like you're on the run
Have I ever asked for much?
The only thing that I want is your love
[Chorus]
If you're gonna let me down, let me down gently
Don't pretend that you don't want me
Our love ain't water under the bridge
If you're gonna let me down, let me down gently
Don't pretend that you don't want me
Our love ain't water under the bridge
Say that our love ain't water under the bridge
[Pre-Chorus]
It's so cold in your wilderness
I want you to be my keeper
But not if you are so reckless
[Chorus]
If you're gonna let me down, let me down gently
Don't pretend that you don't want me
Our love ain't water under the bridge
If you're gonna let me down, let me down gently
Don't pretend that you don't want me
Our love ain't water under the bridge
[Outro]
Say it ain't so, say it ain't so
Say it ain't so, say it ain't so
Say that our love ain't water under the bridge (Say it ain't so, say it ain't so)
Say it ain't so, say it ain't so
Say it ain't so, say it ain't so
Say it ain't so, say it ain't so
Say that our love ain't water under the bridge (Say it ain't so, say it ain't so)
Say it ain't so, say it ain't so
Say that our love ain't water under the bridge
TRACK 7: River Lea
[Verse 1]
Everybody tells me it's 'bout time that I moved on
That I need to learn to lighten up and learn how to be young
But my heart is a valley, it's so shallow and manmade
I'm scared to death if I let you in that you'll see I'm just a fake
Sometimes I feel lonely in the arms of your touch
But I know that's just me 'cause nothing ever is enough
When I was a child I grew up by the River Lea
There was something in the water, now that something's in me
[Pre-Chorus]
Oh, I can't go back, but the reeds are growing out of my fingertips
I can't go back to the river
[Chorus]
But, it's in my roots, in my veins
In my blood and I stain every heart that I use to heal the pain
Oh, it's in my roots, in my veins
In my blood and I stain every heart that I use to heal the pain
So, I blame it on the River Lea, the River Lea, the River Lea
Yeah, I blame it on the River Lea, the River Lea, the River Lea
[Verse 2]
I should probably tell you now before it's way too late
That I never meant to hurt you or lie straight to your face
Consider this my apology, I know it's years in advance
But, I would rather say it now in case I never get the chance
[Pre-Chorus]
No, I can't go back, but the reeds are growing out of my fingertips
I can't go back to the river
[Chorus]
But, it's in my roots, in my veins
In my blood and I stain every heart that I use to heal the pain
Oh, it's in my roots, in my veins
In my blood and I stain every heart that I use to heal the pain
So, I blame it on the River Lea, the River Lea, the River Lea
Yeah, I blame it on the River Lea, the River Lea, the River Lea
So, I blame it on the River Lea, the River Lea, the River Lea
Yeah, I blame it on the River Lea, the River Lea, the River Lea
[Outro]
River Lea, River Lea
River Lea
The River Lea-ea-ea
The River Lea-ea-ea
The River Lea-ea-ea
TRACK 8: Love in the Dark
[Verse 1]
Take your eyes off of me so I can leave
I'm far too ashamed to do it with you watching me
This is never ending, we have been here before
But I can't stay this time 'cause I don't love you anymore
[Pre-Chorus]
Please stay where you are, don't come any closer
Don't try to change my mind, I'm being cruel to be kind
[Chorus]
I can't love you in the dark
It feels like we're oceans apart
There is so much space between us
Baby, we're already defeated
Ah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah, everything changed me
[Verse 2]
You have given me something that I can't live without
You mustn't underestimate that when you are in doubt
But I don't want to carry on like everything is fine
The longer we ignore it all, the more that we will fight
[Pre-Chorus]
Please don't fall apart, I can't face your breaking heart
I'm trying to be brave, stop asking me to stay
[Chorus]
I can't love you in the dark
It feels like we're oceans apart
There is so much space between us
Baby, we're already defeated
Ah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah, everything changed me
[Bridge]
We're not the only ones
I don't regret a thing
Every word I've said
You know I'll always mean
It is the world to me
That you are in my life
But I want to live and not just survive
[Instrumental Interlude]
[Chorus]
That's why I can't love you in the dark
It feels like we're oceans apart
There is so much space between us
Baby, we're already defeated
'Cause ah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah, everything changed me
And I-I-I-I-I don't think you can save me
TRACK 9: Million Years Ago
[Verse 1]
I only wanted to have fun
Learning to fly, learning to run
I let my heart decide the way
When I was young
Deep down, I must have always known
That this would be inevitable
To earn my stripes, I'd have to pay
And bare my soul
[Chorus]
I know I'm not the only one
Who regrets the things they've done
Sometimes, I just feel it's only me
Who can't stand the reflection that they see
I wish I could live a little more
Look up to the sky, not just the floor
I feel like my life is flashing by
And all I can do is watch and cry
I miss the air, I miss my friends
I miss my mother, I miss it when
Life was a party to be thrown
But that was a million years ago
[Verse 2]
When I walk around all of the streets
Where I grew up and found my feet
They can't look me in the eye
It's like they're scared of me
I try to think of things to say
Like a joke or a memory
But they don't recognize me now
In the light of day
[Chorus]
I know I'm not the only one
Who regrets the things they've done
Sometimes, I just feel it's only me
Who never became who they thought they'd be
I wish I could live a little more
Look up to the sky, not just the floor
I feel like my life is flashing by
And all I can do is watch and cry
I miss the air, I miss my friends
I miss my mother, I miss it when
Life was a party to be thrown
But that was a million years ago
[Outro]
A million years ago
TRACK 10: All I Ask
[Verse 1]
I will leave my heart at the door
I won't say a word
They've all been said before, you know
So why don't we just play pretend
Like we're not scared of what is coming next
Or scared of having nothing left?
[Pre-Chorus]
Look, don't get me wrong
I know there is no tomorrow
All I ask is
[Chorus]
If this is my last night with you
Hold me like I'm more than just a friend
Give me a memory I can use
Take me by the hand while we do
What lovers do
It matters how this ends
'Cause what if I never love again?
[Verse 2]
I don't need your honesty
It's already in your eyes
And I'm sure my eyes, they speak for me
No one knows me like you do
And since you're the only one that mattered
Tell me, who do I run to?
[Pre-Chorus]
Look, don't get me wrong
I know there is no tomorrow
All I ask is
[Chorus]
If this is my last night with you
Hold me like I'm more than just a friend
Give me a memory I can use
Take me by the hand while we do
What lovers do
It matters how this ends
'Cause what if I never love again?
[Bridge]
Let this be our lesson in love
Let this be the way we remember us
I don't want to be cruel or vicious
And I ain't asking for forgiveness
All I ask is
[Chorus]
If this is my last night with you
Hold me like I'm more than just a friend
Give me a memory I can use
Take me by the hand while we do
What lovers do
It matters how this ends
'Cause what if I never love again?
TRACK 11: Sweetest Devotion
[Intro]
[Verse 1]
With your loving, there ain't nothing that I can't adore
The way I'm running with you, honey
Means we can break every law
I find it funny that you're the only one I never looked for
There is something in your loving that tears down my walls
[Pre-Chorus]
I wasn't ready then, I'm ready now
I'm heading straight for you
You will only be eternally
The one that I belong to
[Chorus]
The sweetest devotion
Hit me like an explosion
All of my life, I've been frozen
The sweetest devotion I know
[Verse 2]
I'll forever be whatever you want me to be
I'll go under and all over for your clarity
When you wonder if I'm gonna lose my way home
Just remember, that come whatever, I'll be yours all along
[Pre-Chorus]
I wasn't ready then, I'm ready now
I'm heading straight for you
You will only be eternally
The one that I belong to
[Chorus]
The sweetest devotion
Hit me like an explosion
All of my life, I've been frozen
The sweetest devotion I know
[Bridge]
I've been looking for you, baby
In every face that I've ever known
And there is something 'bout the way you love me
That finally feels like home
You're my light, you're my darkness
You're the right kind of madness
You're my hope, you're my despair
You're my scope of everything, everywhere
[Chorus]
The sweetest devotion
Hit me like an explosion
All of my life, I've been frozen
The sweetest devotion I know
[Outro]
Sweetest, it's the sweetest
Sweetest, it's the sweetest
Sweetest, it's the sweetest
Sweetest, it's the sweetest devotion
TRACK 12: Can't Let Go
[Verse 1]
When did it go wrong? I will never know
I have loved you all my life
How did it slow down? I go round and around
Thinking about it all the time
​
[Pre-Chorus]
I gave you heaven on a platter, baby
I gave you everything you never gave me
I never lied and I never faked it
Only wanted for you to save me
This love, it ain't over yet
There's too much that I haven't said
[Chorus]
Did you find the note that I wrote?
I hid it in the seam of your coat
It was hard to write with a lump in my throat
Do you even know that I can't let go?
[Verse 2]
Why were you so cold? Let the truth be told
Tell me, was it all for the thrill?
What was I thinking? I gave you everything
But you still went for the kill
[Pre-Chorus]
I gave you heaven on a platter, baby
I gave you everything you never gave me
I never lied and I never faked it
Only wanted for you to save me
[Chorus]
Did you find the note that I wrote?
I hid it in the seam of your coat
It was hard to write with a lump in my throat
Do you even know that I can't let go?
[Bridge]
Ooh, sometimes I feel like I'm in the dark
Ooh, I thought I'd die in your arms
[Chorus]
Did you find the note that I wrote?
I hid it in the seam of your coat
It was hard to write, I had a lump in my throat
Do you even know that I can't let go?
[Outro]
Hope you know, I won't let go
TRACK 13: Lay Me Down
[Verse 1]
I would never lie to you unless you tell me to
Every part of me, all my words to hold
And hold against me, why won't you let it be?
[Pre-Chorus]
Don't you ever say my love, "open up your heart"
No I'm not gonna do it standing up
The words don't come out right when you're right in front of me
Help me baby, won't you turn off the lights
[Chorus]
Lay me down ('til the morning)
Lay me down (through the night)
Lay me down (I can fall in)
Lay me down (Won’t you)
Lay me down (I can baby)
Lay me down (Someone believe me)
[Verse 2]
I would never break the rules unless you tell me to
You can read my mind, be it truth or lies
Lie down beside me, why won't you let it be?
[Pre-Chorus]
Don't you ever say my love opened up your heart
No I'm not gonna do it standing up
The words don't come out right when you're right in front of me
Help me baby, won't you turn off the lights
[Chorus]
Lay me down ('til the morning)
Lay me down (through the night)
Lay me down (I can fall in)
Lay me down (Won't you)
Lay me down (I can baby)
Lay me down (Someone believe me)
[Bridge]
Lay down with me
Lay down with me
Lay down with me
Lay down with me
[Pre-Chorus]
Words don't come out right when you're right in front of me
Help me baby, won't you turn off the lights
[Chorus]
Lay me down ('til the morning)
Lay me down (through the night)
Lay me down (I can fall in)
Lay me down (Won't you)
Lay me down (I can baby)
Lay me down (Someone believe me)
TRACK 14: Why Do You Love Me
[Intro]
Why do you love me, do you love me?
Why do you love me, do you love me?
Why do you love me, do you love me?
Why do you love me?
Why do you love me, do you love me?
Why do you love me, do you love me?
Why do you love me, do you love me?
Why do you love me?
[Verse 1]
Why do you love me?
There must be something in the water
'Cause, baby, I'm in deeper than I knew
How do you keep me coming back for more
After all we've been through?
[Pre-Chorus]
I can't decide if I should run and hide
[Chorus]
It's above and beyond me, it's out of my hands
Your love drives me crazy, it's hard to understand
Just why I want you to love me
I want you to love me
I want you to love me
I want you to love me
[Verse 2]
Who knows why I love you
It could be something in the air I breathe
Whatever it is, I depend on it
And where does the time go?
I spend every single moment daydreaming of you
[Pre-Chorus]
I can't describe how I feel, it feels right
[Chorus]
It's above and beyond me, it's out of my hands
Your love drives me crazy, it's hard to understand
Just why I want you to love me
I want you to love me
I want you to love me
I want you to love me
[Bridge]
You were a shot in the dark that blew me away
And you left your mark, and it never will fade
You've ignited a spark, let the fires away
Are you ready, ready?
You have a place in my heart that will always be yours
You are the peak and art of my universe
Every piece and part, you were the first
I am ready, ready
[Chorus]
It's above and beyond me, it's out of my hands
Your love drives me crazy, it's hard to understand
Just why I want you to love me
I want you to love me
I want you to love me
I want you
[Chorus]
It's above and beyond me, it's out of my hands
Your love drives me crazy, it's hard to understand
Just why I want you to love me
I want you to love me
I want you to love me
I want you to love me
[Outro]
Why do you love me, do you love me?
Why do you love me, do you love me?
Why do you love me, do you love me?
Why do you love me, do you love me?

I was stressing academically because it was finals' week in university and the workload is also quite heavy, but despite that, I adored her baby so much, and I thought making the tarp myself would be me helping her with the preparation, and as a gift (you know).
So, I felt compelled to make the birthday tarpaulin. I squeezed it in my schedule, I was up until dawn designing (also for a stabler internet connection iykyk), and I had to go through multiple apps because I can't afford any premium subscription😭
I didn't go to the party because of conflicting schedules, I just found out the next day after posting it online that she didn't use my design. She also didn't say anything, or told me why. I didn't hear from her days before the party. I'm so sadd huhuhu