So my Aunt recently moved in with my family because of money issues and she brought her dog along. I already hate dogs from nearly being drowned by one as a kid after my asshole cousin let it into the pool. I really don't care that my Aunt is living with us now, but her dog is sooooo annoying.
Dog sees something outside? BARK BARK BARK. Dog can't find my Aunt? BARK BARK BARK. Dog is lonely? BARK BARK BARK.
Whenever my Aunt is around its normally fine, but when she isn't around, she put the dog in its cage in the basement so its not as loud for the rest of us, since she has to be out the door at 5am in the morning. Or at 12pm for her other shift.
A lot of the time when I am at home, it is by myself cause I only have school on some days because of University, so its just me and the dog in its cage. If he hears ANYTHING, he doesn't start barking, whining, moaning, bitching, for a good half hour. Can't do shit in the house when the fucker finally quiets down otherwise it gets him barking again. Sometimes he just does it whenever. My Aunt says its 'separation anxiety' I say you should've just trained the dog better to not just do that shit, cause its not you who has to suffer through it.
I use to just dislike dogs before this. But now I despise them, and hope the dog is out of here much, much sooner than later.
(also not sure if this is the right flair, but imo it fits, haven't been on here long and only discovered this subreddit when I was looking other people who hate dogs BECAUSE of this dog)

Hey everyone,
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I hoped to never find this place, but I need to, just, write.
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My girlfriend of 5 years wants to break up with me. And I'm completely devastated. She's my world, my emotional and mental support, and I saw her as someone that I would grow old with.
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We've known each other for 5,5 years after I crashed her 18th birthday party. After about half a year, we were in love with each other and started our relationship. Those 5 years since have had it's ups and downs. We're both not perfect in any way, but we loved each other for who we are.
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She feels like the female version of myself. We always have our little inside jokes. We both have the same humor, we love being childish with each other (the good way, just playing together). She was perfect. Perfect for me.
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Her parents also welcomed me with open arms, and some did mine her. I felt so at home. She was my peace of mind, and happiness.
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But a few days ago, we got into a talk.
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See, I've been struggling the last 2 years a little with myself. I've had some issues and she helped me push through. Sadly, over the years, I got less and less confident, which is something that was noticed of course.
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It initially started with less sex, which was a bummer as I was still very much interested. This was something that was sad to me, but I accepted it as I still love her immensely, even if we would have less sex.
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But a few days ago, I told her I was not too comfortable with how close she was growing to one of my friends. Looking back, this may just be a manifestation of my unconfident self. I love both those people to death, and they have always been friends. There probably was nothing to worry about.
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Nevertheless, I did end up telling her, and she was taken aback a bit. I told her I'm not blaming her, I just wanted to tell her how I felt.
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Fast forward 2 days, and me and my girlfriend were going to get a cup of coffee. Coincidentally, me friends were also close, so they joined her. I was still in the gym and joined them later, but when I arrived, it was just the two of them.
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This kind of pissed me off and while my girlfriend greeted me with her typical enthusiasm, I was a little cold.
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On the way back, we talked about it, and things spiralled from there. ( I know this is not the case, but I hate myself for treating her so cold when she was so happy to see me again)
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We were talking about my mental health, hers, and how things were going between us.
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See, we severely lack communication. We are so good together, have so much fun, laugh always, but we don't really talk about important, underlying feelings.
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And that's something that obviously bothered her. And me. We talked and she says she had this feeling for a while and that she feels done. Empty. And that she doesn't know if she wants to continue with me anymore.
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We've had a serious and emotional talk 4 months earlier as well, but then something important happened that took precedent and we never really revisited it.
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After that heavy talk, she went to her parents and I to mine. We live together and both needed some time to let things sink in.
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We met today again, and she was very adamant on breaking up. She got to our apartment with the intent of actually breaking up.
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I told her several things that I believe in my heart. I think it's a waste if we break up now, right on the edge of discovering something that's been holding us back for so long. I want to give it an honest, 100% try to talk and communicate the way we should. And see how that goes.
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She didn't feel that way and wanted to break off our 5 years together.
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As much as I love my girlfriend, if she has her mind set on something, she rarely backs down. And I fear that this situation is the result of many months of not talking about things, keeping it to herself, and letting it grow out of control.
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I did say something that made her reconsider, and now we're meeting up in 3 days (taking a break from each other) to see if she wants to give it an honest go. It's going to be a yes or no, make or break talk.
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I'm dreading it. I'm fearing the worst. I honestly cannot imagine a life without this wonderful person.
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Yes we've had our issues. I feel like she has the need to reinvent herself every 12-18 months. And the first thing to go is typically me. We've had a similar scenario about 2 years into our relationship, when things started to get real between us.
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I asked her if she wanted to not be with me, or if she's scared about how real things were getting between us. It ended up being the latter and we continued for many good years.
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It's so difficult. We clearly love and care about each other so much. I can see the pain in her eyes, and I feel mine.
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I absolutely broke down when she put my crying head between her 2 hands, looked me in the eye, and told me just how much she cares about me and loves me. Regardless of what's going to happen between us.
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She also mentioned that she just doesn't see a future with me anymore. She says we have different goals in life, which ultimately is true, but only to an extent. We both want to achieve things, and the most important things line up. We both want to travel, do good things and be successful, both health-wise and financial.
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Most things line up, with just a few differences here and there. She's much more extrovert than me, and I' much more of an introvert.
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It hurts so much. This was the woman I wanted to see as the mother of my children, my wife, my companion.
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And it all came so sudden. We just started living together (7 months now), and literally this week we've been talking about trips to Rome, Thailand, and many other plans for the coming years.
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The morning of our first talk, we woke up so happy next to each other. She did her thing, woke up early and worked out. I waited for her to come home and we'd have breakfast together. Planned what we would eat this week, made lunch together, starting watching our series we've been seeing (singing along with the intro in our stupid fantastic way), and it all seemed to.... good.
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Then that afternoon, we nearly broke up.
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I'm dreading the next 3 days and our next meetup. This is a person I just do not feel ready to lose. She's the most important person in my life. I cannot imagine waking up and not having her beside me. Giving me her loving goodmorning kiss. Taking our walks together. I'm just devastated.
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She is my first girlfriend, and it seemed like my only. And now I'm here, crying every minute of the day, thinking of losing her. My heart breaks of the thought of deleting our pictures together, not talking with her. I also just cannot live in our apartment anymore. This was where we would start our life together. She was the main driver behind living together as well.
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I used to life with 2 friends. She's also good friends with them, so it's not an option to live with them again. It just all feels so unfair.
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I'm at a loss. I'm devastated, and most of all, I'm so, so scared to lose her.
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I mainly wanted to share my story. I have skipped over some important events, and probably worded some things wrong. But she's my everything, and I'm about to lose her.

Everyone fucking ignores me and its like God is trying his hardest to keep me from getting help, reddit wont let me message the one person who said I could vent to them, so fuck it I'm just going to pretend the entire sub is them.
I'm not really sure what the fuck is wrong with me. I think about suicide all the time but like I'm scared of death. I really don't want to live anymore, I've seen all my life is gonna offer me and I don't like it. It's the same fucking thing everyday. Wake up, sit in the shower doing nothing for a half hour, get dressed and ready in 10 minutes, go to school, do zero work because I have zero motivation, think about death, come home, go to my job I fucking hate that I get so fucking underpaid at, think about death all day, come home, get high, think about death, and go to bed at 2, just to wake up at 6 the next day. I've lost a third of my entire bodyweight in the last year, yet I'm still fat and I have a double chin that I can't do anything about. I have zero motivation to do anything. I'm 3 months away from graduating highschool and I have no plans whatsoever. I have no motivation to do anything. The only time I don't feel like I'm losing my mind is when I'm baked, and I'm so fucking tired of getting high every single day just to feel something. I tried gtting a therapist but she doesn't even fkn let me talk to her. I'm a virgin, and I've never been in a real relationship. I've been rejected by every girl I've ever talked to. I don't even care about sex, I just want to be loved ffs. I could die a virgin and be happy so long as I'm not alone. I fucking hate being alone. I hate myself so fucking much and everytime I'm with myself I just think about hanging myself. Nothing at all is going right for me. Not a fucking thing. On top of all that i can't forget to mention my mother who is so fucking sick I can hardly stand to be around her it makes me so sad, she can't walk or do anything for herself. And my alcoholic father is the cherry on top. He's not just a drunk, he's a loud and violent one.

I don't know exactly how to describe this feeling but I'm going to try.
My parents have always had very high standards for everyone, including me. Always moralizing, always judging everyone, always talking about how people should be putting in more effort and do better. They also required a lot of mind-reading and self-sacrifice from me for me to be safe due to their mental health issues.
As a child I kind of assumed that things were so hard at home because the adult world was run according to these insane standards. For example, I believed that mature people do not 'burden' other people with their emotions under any circumstances. I thought my parents were treating me the way they were to teach me that, like it was necessary to learn this to be a successful adult.
Now that I am an adult I see that that is not true at all. Even well-adjusted people just make shit up as they go along, are often selfish and sometimes even deliberately assholes to others. It's human and a successful adult knows this and how to navigate it and stand up for themselves.
It takes some of the pressure off to realize that the majority of people is not as perfect as my parents made me believe they would be. Especially after accepting that I am just as human and flawed and don't have to be better than other people.
But at the same time the standards are still in my head. I am disappointed that the world is not kinder. Disappointed that people are not mind-reading for each other and taking care of each other. Disappointed that everyone (including myself) is a hypocrite to some degree. Very very disappointed that bullying is common place even among adults and that bigotry is all around us. Disappointed that abused kids are ignored by adults that are too busy to get involved. Disappointed that greed is so normal. Etc, etc, etc.
I'm trying to become milder on both myself and others, but these feelings keep overwhelming me. I don't know how to accept the world as it is without just... not thinking critically about anything ever again. It's frustrating.
I don't really have a point. Thanks for reading though.

My daughter, Cleo (11) is very active outside of school. She plays soccer, takes swim lessons and will play outside a lot with neighborhood kids. She’s very social. Most of her friends are from outside of school.
At school, however, she struggles making friends. Cleo has ADHD and was bullied in 3rd and 4th grade for some of that. While it was brought under control by 5th (current grade), these kids still don’t play with her and pretty much ice her out. While I don’t think they have to play with her, it also means that she doesn’t socialize a lot at school. She’s okay with this.
Her teacher says our daughter often plays alone at recess or reads. My wife and I were not very concerned and explained she’s very social and active afterwards.
Cleo is a huge reader. She’s currently reading her way through my wife’s collection of books from her childhood. She loves them and treasures them, knowing they were her mama’s and wants to take great care of them. She came home on Tuesday, very upset and worried her mom would be upset with her. I asked why and she said her teacher took her book away and won’t give it back until tomorrow. When pressed for more information , she said she was reading at recess. Her teacher walked over, took the book and told her to go play. My daughter begged for her book back and the teacher refused.
I quickly assured Cleo that she wasn’t in trouble and even called my wife at work to have her back me up. It was quite concerning that she was so afraid, as my wife isn’t one to fly off the handle. She’s always gentle with Cleo. As suspected, my wife assured her she wasn’t upset and that Cleo did zero wrong.
The next day, I brought Cleo to school early and walked her to class, no one but the teacher was there. I told the teacher to give me the book. She obliged and tried to defend herself. I told her to save it and she had no right. There is no rule that Cleo has to do physical activity at recess and we expressed no concern. The teacher said she was allowed to set boundaries for her class but I pointed out recess was free time. It’s not like Cleo is reading during math. We went back and forth, and finally I said I’d be reaching out to the principal.
The issue was resolved quickly. I don’t know the particulars, except the principal told me that Cleo is allowed to read at recess and unless she is actively harming someone or reading during a non-designated time, she wouldn’t have any more books confiscated. My wife and I were pleased. Cleo even more so.
My cousin is a teacher at this school, just a different grade. She says what I did is “hot gossip” in the teacher’s lounge and that I have been marked as “one of those parents”. She says the teacher isn’t paid enough and I should’ve just accepted the rule. When I pointed out we only have 2 more months left at this school (Cleo is our only and starts junior high in august), that’s not a concern.
My wife and I feel justified, but we are wondering if I’m an asshole?

First, Previous
Memory transcription subject: Michael Smith, Human extermination officer
Date [standardized human time]: November 4, 2136
Once we realized that the Nixas were pack predators and probably social enough to hold a grudge, we made sure to get the hell out of there and raced multiple miles downstream, before slowing down again. Our mission forced us to actually explore the ecosystem, instead of just driving past it, after all.
We were all rational enough to agree on that, but none of us liked it. For the entire rest of the day we were constantly checking our backs, waiting for an angry pack of Nixas to attack us. Not that any animal would be able to hurt us inside of the Truck, but something about Vartek almost bleeding out stripped us bare of any sense of safety or security. Vartek was still almost completely incapacitated by his wound - unsurprisingly, if you considered how lucky he even was to even be alive after that bite almost severed one of his biggest blood vessels. We could have called in a medical aircraft to fly him home, but he refused to go and leave us alone, so we decided to nurse him back to health on the inside of Bob.
We still didn’t know why the Nixa attacked us so recklessly, but we had some theories. Steven supposed it was a territorial creature and saw us as competitors over the already limited food supply, so it had no choice but to attack us, if it wanted to live. Lim believed that the lack of food forced it to attack any possible prey, no matter how difficult to kill, because it could not afford to be picky.
It’s almost entirely empty stomach - as the surgery showed - appeared to support the second theory, whilst multiple traces of this exact Nixa we found nearby supported the idea of it being territorial. Either way, any other Nixas we encountered could be equally, if not more, deadly and we did not intend to find out the hard way.
We did find multiple traces of other Nixas nearby - including multiple tiny bones, chewed apart and sucked dry of bone marrow, with not a single ounce of flesh left on them, as well as footsteps of Nixas traveling in small groups. We also found some creatures gall bladder, carefully ripped out of the body by a Nixa before the rest was eaten. We rarely left the safety Bob provided, and when we did to take a sample, we staid in a small radius and made sure everyone was equipped with guns and flamethrowers and plasmaweapons - we were taking no chances anymore.
Since we had found no traces of Nixas before and suddenly there were hundreds of signs of Nixa activity now, we assumed we had stumbled right into their hunting grounds. This meant that, once we left this area, they would likely leave us alone. But until then, we had to be very careful.
The good news was, that the Nixas filled the gaping hole in the food chain we had noticed. The bad news was, that we probably placed lower than them on that chain, and that they knew that very well.
The team was in shambles. Almost loosing Vartek hurt, but maybe being hunted by an entire pack of predators? And not even knowing how many they were, where they could be lurking or whether they actually were hunting us? Now that fucked with our nerves. Mirva was sobbing again, and I really didn’t know how to help her or calm her down. Farlent had not let go of her weapons since Vartek fell asleep again, David and Lim had stayed up all night, Steven had not spoken a single word since and Ortsa began making many mistakes, which was very unusual for her. Not only did she open the wrong door last hour, the hour before that she pressed the buttons to start in the wrong order and almost broke Bobs engine.
None of us blamed her for those tiny mistakes, since the nerves made all of us less competent, but she clearly blamed herself plenty.
Usually, I knew how to calm them down, how to keep the team happy, but right now? I couldn’t even calm myself.
I was so deep in thought, so focused on our shitty situation, that I didn’t even notice Mirva was talking, until she repeated herself:
“Mike? Hey, Mike? Please, Mike, listen to me… Mike?“
“Huh? Sorry Mirva, I was… stuck in some mental loop… how are you?“
“Scared… terrified really. Are you really sure those monsters can’t get to us here? I mean, they were smart enough to wait for the moment we were all distracted before attacking Vartek!“
I was not sure, but I didn’t have the heart to tell here that. Not that I wanted to lie to her, either, but the truth would just be cruel at this point.
“Don’t worry. They can’t harm us. Because they aren’t monsters, just animals. Smart, dangerous animals sure, but animals nonetheless. They want to live and they want to avoid being hurt and thus they would never be insane enough to attack us. Not while we are all armed, together and sitting inside a moving fortress with rocket launchers, energy weapons and grenade proof armor. And even if they tried, Bob would protect us. He is a good truck and he got a lot of tricks up his sleeve. And even if all else fails, you don’t have to worry. Because I am here and I will protect you!“
Mirva took a deep breath, my words seemed to work, but she wasn’t quite convinced yet.
“Because that is your job?“
I chuckled and hugged her.
“No. Because you are my friend!“
Mirva smiled nervously - she actually smiled like a human, oh my god that is so cute - and her horizontal pupils got a little smaller, as she slightly calmed down. But then she shot the sleeping Vartek a sad glance.
“I am sorry I couldn’t save Vartek. I was out there and I should have stopped that Nixa, but I was too weak, too scared.“
I grabbed her by the shoulders.
“No, you are not weak. I saw you out there, standing in front of Jane, making sure that the Nixa didn’t kill her as well. Without you, we could have lost her, you hear me? That wasn’t weak, that was brave!“
I thought that were the right words to make her feel good, but something went wrong. As I said brave she suddenly recoiled and for a split second she was looking of into the distance as if she wasn’t even aware I existed anymore. I had no clue what just happened, but it probably wasn’t good. Therefore I quickly rephrased:
“Err… I meant to say you did a really good job there. Thank you for saving Jane!“
Mirva shook her head as if she had just woken up, than she gave me a proud wave with her tail.
“You’re welcome! It always feels good to do what’s right. Even though I still wish I could have helped Vartek… anyways, thanks for this talk, Mike. It really helped!“
She hugged me again and walked of.
Well, that was weird.
I looked around and saw that, since the last time I checked about an hour ago, most of the team had fallen asleep now. Including Farlent, which meant no one had had their eyes on the road for the last few minutes. Fuck.
I wipped my head around just in time to see three Nixas, with their eyes locked right on me, jumping away immediately after seeing me snap around.
And whoosh, they were gone. Hiding behind some rocks, presumably.
Or was I getting so tired I had started hallucinating?

Context: My girlfriend has trauma from sexual relations with guys in college. Her friend X has trauma from her dad being an alcoholic. My girlfriend’s friend’s boyfriend has trauma from supposedly being put on high dose Ritalin at a young age limited his ability to learn to manage emotions.
History: About 2 years ago when I first started dating my girlfriend we were on summer break and she had just graduated college. Her friends and her would go out and drink a lot, but friend X would drink even small amounts and act blackout. At first friend X was very afraid of relationships and by the end of the night one of them would often get upset about something and run home from the bars so I would have to chase to make sure they got home safe. Now I obviously cared about both of them but I could only really focus on my girlfriend for obvious reasons. Over time I was becoming more adamant about asking them to drink less but I wish I was more assertive about it (I think idk if that’s my job). After this goes on for a little bit friend X starts hooking up with all of my friends on successive nights. My girlfriend is repeatedly asking her to stop and empathizing with her regret both while sober, at the party, and after the fact. In the middle of this there was one event where she hooked up with a housemate of a girl friend unrelated to me and that guy gave her a “big bong rip” before they had sex and they later questioned whether that was sexual assault. And if that one is then it also brings into whether all of the other “hookups” were as well.
Present: Friend X’s boyfriend is very overprotective. He was only told about one of these hook ups that happened near the beginning of their relationship. He calls my girlfriend and says “I’m going to kill you, you should have protected her from the assault”. My girlfriend explains to him that she was there for friend X a million times more than any of her other friends at all these events he was never told anything about (she didn’t know he didn’t know about them). My girlfriend goes home early from work and calls her friend to say she was extremely traumatized by her boyfriend and scared for her safety. Friend X goes back and forth repeatedly during the conversation from agreeing that she did her best, to they were both very close and bad for each other during that time (because they were both excessive drinking due to trauma), to saying that her boyfriend is right to be mad and if has a problem with my girlfriend she is right to tell him to speak to her. My girlfriend basically says I’ve gone to therapy, I’m working on myself, I’ve quit drinking, I don’t tell half truths behind someone’s back I’m stepping back from this friendship and I hope you are able to get therapy.
The situation is at an okay spot right now so I don’t need actionable advice. I am more so wondering what are your thoughts on what healthy boundaries and roles for both friend and boyfriend/girlfriend should have been in these situations.

Hi guys
I (26f) and my boyfriend (28m) bought a house, we live here for a year now.
We used to rent a house in a city for 3 years, about 7 feet away from a street with a 30mph limit. There were a lot of big trucks and a lot of big tractors and also a lot of cars troughout the day. It was very loud on the inside because it was a poorly insulated house. But we were kinda used to it. The big tractors could be hella loud, so we had to pause the tv or rewind because you couldnt hear anything when they were passing by.

• We had annoying neighbours who always threw parties in the summer, even on weekdays.
  
• There also was another neighbor with a dog who was constantly barking at night, even with the windows closed it was very loud.
  

After 3 years of renting and saving money we found the perfect house. We noticed from the start it was near an expressway with a 55mph limit. (Our house is about 250feet away from the expressway). When we were visiting the house, the first thing we kept in mind was the expressway. We opened the windows and listened, we went into the garden, etc... and we were so surprised, it's not as loud and busy as the house we used to rent, and way better insulated.

• No barking dogs , no hella loud neighbours at our new place, as far as i know.

We didnt notice/care about the road noise because we were used to the noise from our previous house, so it didnt bother us, it was just background noise. White noise.
But then..
I randomly stumbled on a topic about road noise and people saying they never want to live near a highway or expressway.. they say its unhealthy ,....
and it makes me feel very insecure, i feel like i failed.
Even though our neighbours are always outside in their garden + they live here for years, so is it really that dangerous? I know some friends who even live closer to the same road as ours.
We are healthy people, we love walking in the woods, we do not smoke, we eat our vegetables,...
because of this its the only things thats on my mind. I am focussing on the noise when i am outside and i am scared to go outside now because they say its not healthy.
But, yeah, to be honest, i think the air quality at our previous house was worse because it was only 7 feet away from heavy traffic??
I have autism so i hyperfocus on this topic alot.
Are there people who also live close to a big road or highway, and are actually happy? (Like i was in the beginning)
I just want to be proud of our home again. I'm glad this whole situation doesnt bother my bf though.
Thanks guys

My partnet of 3 years has pretty severe BPD. She went off a medication last year that was (unbeknownst to us) keeping her moods and behavior stable. The psychiatrist she had at the time did not recognize she had BPD and took her off the medication. The psychiatrist then kicked her out of her practice because her behaviors "were too difficult to deal with". Her behaviors and mood swings became increasingly more erratic and extreme. She was never like this before, even when things were very stressful with her kids or life in general. She never raised her voice or a hand to anyone. She was always a sweet, rational loving mother and partner. Since the fall she did a 180 and has been gradually declining.
We were living together until January. I was caring for her kids as her mental health continued to decline. The anger episodes were becoming worse and she started kicking me out of the bedroom or house when she was upset. I had nowhere to go but my mom's 2h away. She wouldn't tell me when I could come back or allow me to grab anything. I decided to get an apartment nearby as my own space so I had somewhere to go when she was angry. I told her she could come stay with me temporarily if she needed a break from her kids. The lease and bills are all under my name but she decided to furnish a large part of it.
She had a suicide attempt in January and I agreed to let her stay with me temporarily so as not to disrupt her kids. I thought that being away from the kids would lessen her stress and allow her to focus on getting back on track.
She started moving all her things into my apartment. She started buying lots of clothes and stuff for the apartment. I told her I couldn't afford to pay her back for all of it right away because she bought it so quickly. I told her to slow down on bringing things in because I didn't want it to get too cluttered, plus the deal was for her to live at her house with her kids and visit me intermittently.
Living together got very hard for us because of her symptoms.
It all came to a boiling point a few nights ago when I had a panic attack which triggered her. She went from smiling and calm to resentful and irritated within seconds. She told me she didn't see us working out and that she needed some space from me. She wanted me to get out of the apartment and go to my mom's 2h away while she 'figured it out'. She said that the apartment was full of her things and she helped me with rent one month, so I should be the one to leave. She wanted an inventory of all the items in the apartment and to be compensated for them or book a mover to have everything of hers out RIGHT AWAY.
I begged her to give me more information. How much time did she need? Could she give me some time to process this? We have bank accounts together and other joint bills. She refused to let me in the bedroom to talk to her any more. I proposed giving her some space and going to her house in town where her kids lived to let her cool down. I lived at the house for over 2 years. She refused saying she was concerned about my 'mental stability' around her children. She said this town was not my home any longer and to move out of it, that I'm no longer welcome here. She was becoming increasingly more agitated an paranoid.
She refused to leave my apartment and wouldn't let me go to the house. I tried reasoning with her. I told her she should go back to her house and I should stay at my place until we figure out what to do. She refused and became more irate, yelling and calling me names. Telling me to GET OUT RIGHT NOW.
I ended up calling the police to convince her to go. I reminded her and told them my name is on the lease and I really needed to be in my own safe space. She threw all my clothes and childhood stuffies down the front steps where they got wet in the rain. When the police came they convinced her to let me stay at her house with her kids and mother in law rather than drive 2h to my mom's.
I went to the house and gave it about 24h of no contact. After a day I tried to go reason with her again. I came in to the apartment and tried to talk and she accused me of stalking her and not respecting her boundary. I told her I absolutely wanted to respect her boundary but the way she set it up is all wrong for me. She called me a psycho and a brat along with so many other cruel names and insults. I wasn't convincing her to come back to me, I just wanted to heal at my place while she figured herself out.
Her behavior became more erratic and she started calling my mom's number to "tell her what a little c*nt you are". I panicked because my mom is neurotic and would only make the situation worse. I tried to grab the phone from her hand and she fought me. She dragged me through the living room and tried to push me out the door. She then locked herself in the bedroom and called the police, this time saying I assaulted her.
The police came and spoke to both of us. I told them I didn't want to press charges and that she is clearly having a psychotic episode. She insisted she wanted to press charges. The police explained the consequences and she seemed to realize what this meant but it was too late to take back. They said they would charge both of us since it was all hearsay what happened. She tried to take it back but they decided to move forward and had us both arrested.
I was held at the police station in a locked room and fingerprinted. I had to sign a document that said I can't contact her and vice versa (which is probably for the best). I now have a court date in May.
I feel like a monster, thinking maybe I should have just listened and given up and gone to my mom's. But then another part of me says no, this is my apartment, even if it's full of her things, I pay the rent and bills and groceries. I told her many times she has access to all her things at any time, but she said she didn't trust me with her things.
She's clearly not well. I was charged with assault under CC266 in Ontario.
Can anyone tell me how this can play out? I spoke to a paralegal today who told me she can't really give me any advice until I receive a disclosure form. This will supposedly list what the Crown is seeking and I can take it to a lawyer for more specific advice. The problem is I won't see that document until at least 2 weeks before my court date.
What can I do to ensure this doesn't mess up my life? I also want to be as kind to her as possible, regardless of where our relationship is headed in the future. This was very much mental health related on her part and I am just not equipped to deal with it.

So my husband works from home and takes care of our 16 month old. He broke his toe so I’ve been working from home half days. I do phones/appts for an OBGYN office. And honestly idk why they send the kids to daycare. We both have jobs that need our attention and we are able to handle taking care of our kid. Meanwhile they both can easily attend to the kiddos.
I’ve throughly enjoyed my extra half days at home this week with my daughter and i couldn’t fathom sending her to daycare if I could easily have this extra time.
She’s at such a fun age right now where she is totally different and learning something new and i feel like I’m missing out on so much. If i had the choice i would 100% keep her home and spend as much time as i could.

I have a resident cat who is so chill but I could tell he was lonely. I adopted two 6 month old sisters and have been keeping them separate from the resident cat for now.
Well, I have been observing the two interacting and I can’t help but notice more dominance from Mina toward her sister Myla. When Myla wanted to cuddle Mina swat at her and hissed. Myla immediately took a more submissive pose and eventually slinked off. Ive witnessed this twice now. When we first got them they cuddled close together out of fear I’m sure but now that they are more comfortable I can see more of their personality.
Myla is still a little nervous but is more curious and outgoing. Her tail straight up and pretty happy. Mina’s tail stays low and flicks back and forth in curiosity I assume. Mina will accept and enjoy pets but she’s more a skiddish and I don’t think cares much to be near me lol.
I’ve also noticed Mina doesn’t cover her poop in the litter box and I have read that is also a form to show dominance.
I say all this to say, I’m worried for my resident cat. He is my baby and I don’t want Mina to show aggression toward him. I had originally gotten the two sisters because I didn’t want to be separated but I feel like Mina could care less about her sister in that way. I don’t want to give Mina away so, what can I do to encourage a good relationship with all the cats? I know cats have their own language and do their own thing but I guess i just want to be cautious. I never want my resident cat to feel unsafe in his home.

I’m almost 29, F, have anxiety, depression, inattentive ADHD and depression and I’m so lonely it hurts. I’m also still living at home and am in between jobs, which doesn’t help.
Due to my many mental health issues over the years, I’ve found it very hard to make and keep friends. Now that I’m more “typical” I’m feeling the consequences of my actions as I have no friends. Honestly, if I disappeared tomorrow, no one other than family would notice or care. I can make conversation, get along great with people now, but am unable to make that friendship connection.
How do you make friends in your late 20’s/ early 30’s??

Life, for most, was a series of ups and downs. You fail your test but then your mom makes your favorite dish for dinner. You lose the big game for your team, but then you make a major breakthrough in the spell you've been practicing for weeks. You drop your ice cream, but find some cash in your pocket you didn't remember leaving there.
The girl you've been fawning over for weeks tickles your tonsils with her tongue, but then you're cut in half and enslaved by your nation's mortal enemy.
Yeah, my life was different, there was no doubt about that at all. But the lowest lows made even the slightest highs feel so much higher. Something as simple as eating a hot meal was the height of life when you had been living on crackers, stale bread, and nearly century-old dried meat.
We failed to notice that everyone in the restaurant was staring at us as we wolfed down plate after plate. The juices; the flavors; the tenderness of the meat; the softness of the hot bread smothered in butter. I couldn't stop smiling as I ate.
"You gotta try this," Tovin said breathlessly between bites as he passed me a bowl containing what looked like some kind of wet, shredded, colorful salad. I swallowed the big bite of steak I had been chewing and quickly put a spoonful of the mystery dish in my mouth. It was heaven on earth.
"Holy smokes, what is this?" I asked.
"I think it's the coleslaw, give it back," he said, pulling the bowl right out of my hand. I turned and looked at the dumbfounded waiter standing next to our table, and smiled. "More coleslaw, please! And ribs, I'm outta ribs! And a refill on... what was this called?"
He stared wide-eyed at my plate and then shook his head as though clearing his mind. "Uhh, I believe you were having the peach lemonade, sir."
"That!" I pointed my fork at him before turning back to the assortment of delicacies splayed out before me. I wasn't sure if it was because I hadn't had a proper meal in weeks, or if it was just that the empire knew how to eat, but it was the best food I had ever tasted in my life.
"So good," Tovin said in such a way that I had to check and make sure he wasn't crying.
After eating all that we wanted and all that we could, the two of us just sat slouched in our chairs with bulging stomachs. I lifted my hand shakily toward the last rib on my plate, but let it fall to my side as I closed my eyes and accepted defeat. The will was there but the room in my stomach wasn't.
"My goodness, sirs," said the waiter. "You hunters sure can eat."
I looked up at him with a satisfied grin, "Hard work always makes a meal so much better. Know what I'm saying?"
"Can't argue with that," said the waiter as he folded his hands. "But... if I may, could I politely ask you to pay your bill? I mean no offense, but you and your friend have a..." he cleared his throat. "Musk about you."
I looked at Tovin and then at myself, and then at all the empty tables around us. We were still covered in the calraven's dried wing gunk. I had to have gone completely nose-blind to it. Now the faces everyone had been making at us made a lot more sense. I looked down to see that it had been flaking off of us and onto the restaurant floor.
"Oh man, I'm so sorry," I apologized.
"No!" said the man, holding his hands out. "It was an honor to serve the hunters keeping our cities safe, don't take me the wrong way. It would be our pleasure to serve you again, but it's about to be 5'o clock and our dinner rush will be starting soon."
I suddenly remembered something I had completely forgotten. I looked up at the man, "Excuse me, do you have a pencil?"
"Certainly," he answered, pulling one from his apron and setting it down on the checkered tablecloth. "Your bill will be 22 octims."
"That's so much," Tovin groaned, not bothering to lift his head or open his eyes. He wasn't wrong, but we had ordered almost everything on the menu. I wasn't completely certain I could walk correctly when it was time to leave. I pulled out the envelope and handed him 25 octims.
"Keep the change," I said, Tovin groaning quietly in tacit disapproval.
"Th-thank you!" said the waiter with a wide grin.
"In return, I'm keeping the pencil," I added, smiling back.
x - - x - - x - - ★ - - x - - x - - x
It didn't take long for us to find an inn. Bronzegirder was full of them, as it was apparently a booming industrial hub rife with people traveling on business. We decided to book one room with two separate bedrooms to save a bit of money. It came out to 9 octims a night, which when you factored in food, meant we only had a little over a week's worth of cash if we spent conservatively. I didn't know how long it was going to take me to find Atlas and Axle, but I couldn't see it happening that soon. We would likely have to hunt again; that or find a steady job that paid the bills.
It was a humble inn compared to some of the others we had seen. I really wanted to stay in one of the nicer ones, but Tovin wasn't having it. He said the less we had to go out and make money, the better, and I couldn't come up with a good enough argument to push back. While Tovin took a shower, I took an eraser to everything Fena had written to me in the notebook. I left a little bit of her message so as to avoid suspicion, and decided I'd write back later tonight before bed.
After his shower, he realized that he only had dirty clothes to change into and we were reminded that we needed to go shopping. I rinsed off and the two of us made our way back down to the lobby and out into town. It had gotten considerably darker since we had checked in, and the chill winds blew against my cold hair, sending shivers down my spine. We pulled our hoods up and hit the market.
The first shop we landed at was a big success. We bought a warm hat for Tovin's head, which was only just now growing back a thin layer of hair. We found some sheepskin flight jackets with wool collars that rode high against the back of our necks. Tovin begrudgingly accepted them as the best option both for warmth and for hiding our slave tattoos, but for me, I also thought they looked really, really cool.
We bought some leather gloves that matched the jackets, along with new undergarments and sleep attire. We bagged some Diesillian snacks and drinks, as well as a refill of cigarettes for Tovin before heading back to the room. We were both exhausted, and I was more excited about a bed than I ever had been. Back in the room, we sat on the floor and tried the different candies and snacks as we discussed our next plan of action.
"Let's stay here for a little while," Tovin advised, sitting under the open window with his cigarette in hand. "This place is huge. The odds of them finding us here quickly are slim."
"I agree," I said as I popped one of the candies in my mouth. "I'm not going to say I like it here, but it sure beats being on the run."
"We're still on the run," he warned. "Don't misunderstand that. We should also probably pick new aliases. DuPonte has the wrong ones, but Gilliam is pretty similar to William."
"Yeah, but we're not on the run, run. Y'know, being chased through the night, sleeping in abandoned shacks, and stowing away in train cars. I know they're still looking for us, but how are they ever gonna catch us now?"
He folded his arms and dropped his eyes. Smoke billowed from his mouth as he sat in quiet contemplation. "It would be a mistake to underestimate our enemy," he said finally. "We need to start going by new names. I'm Wallace, and you're Geoffrey, got that?"
"I don't want to be Geoffrey, you be Geoffrey," I said playfully as I passed him a bag of candies. "Here, try these. They're called jelly beans, they're pretty good."
He dug his hand into the bag, fished one out, and popped it into his mouth. "Fine," he said. "You can be Wallace then, and I'll be Geoffrey. You need to help me remember that, you understand?"
"Yeah, I got it," I assured him.
"Gill."
"I said I heard you, Jeez," I said dismissively as I picked up the dark beverage I had been eyeing. It was labeled Root Beer and it generated a golden fizz at the top when disturbed. I couldn't wait to taste it. Tovin reached over and gently lowered my hand. I looked up to find him staring at me intensely.
"Gill," he repeated. "Stop. Just stop it, alright? I know what you're doing. I might be slipping, but I'm not dumb, deaf, and blind just yet. While I appreciate the act, or at least where it's coming from, I know you're just as scared as I am. I'm not a child; and while I may not be able to preserve what remains of my dignity for very much longer, I would ask for your respect until that time comes."
I had somehow underestimated the smartest man I had ever known– again. I didn't know the extent of his condition. Based on our interactions, I figured that he had no memory of the times when he regressed. I assumed that he didn't fully understand how bad his lapses had gotten, but it seemed he did. Worse yet, I knew how he felt about sympathy. The way I was acting had to have felt like the biggest insult to him, and even so, he wasn't reacting with anger.
He just wanted to be heard.
"Earlier today in the woods," he said, lifting his arm and tapping his cigarette against the window sill. "I can't remember the details. I don't know how you did that monster in, how I ended up unconscious, or anything about how we got back to the city. But I do remember how I felt."
He traced the floorboards with his eyes and placed his arms on his knees as he looked for the words. "... I felt useless; helpless like a terrified child. At one point, I felt like I didn't deserve to be alive." He looked up at me. "It was like I was swimming in a dream; like I was watching my own actions from over my shoulder. I came back to consciousness for a brief moment and contemplated shoving that rifle in my mouth."
"Tovin–"
"Shut up," he waved at me dismissively, drawing tendrils of smoke in the air with the end of his cigarette. "I don't need your pep talk," he huffed. "I'm past it." He rested his head against the wall behind him. "I just want you to know that this whole thing is getting harder for me. It's like there are two people fighting for control of the wheel, and when I'm not steering, I'm in a sleeplike state. My thoughts play out in front of me like I'm having some kind of fever dream. They smear and melt like watercolor giving me brief glimpses of reality through a window I can't reach or jump through."
I stared at him with concern. We shared a brief moment of eye contact before he closed his eyes and exhaled smoke. "It's not looking good for me, Gill. I just wanted you to know before I went to bed," he said, getting to his feet. "That if I go to sleep tonight for the last time..."
"Hang on," I interrupted. "There's something you should know. I reached out to that friend of mine back home. He's already working on a way to fix you."
His face brightened. "Y-yeah?" he smiled. "Gill, why didn't you say anything?"
I picked up the bottle and used the opener we had purchased with it to pry the lid off. "There was never a good time," I shrugged. "It's been a long, long day."
"Well, what else did he say?" he asked, taking a step forward.
"... Just, y'know," I trailed off. "Hang in there."
He sucked his lips in and looked down at the floor. He knew I was holding back. I was more worried about putting him through information overload than anything else. There was a lot he didn't know; too much, in fact.
"Tovin, just trust me. You'll know everything soon," I assured him. "All of it. As soon as you get your memories back."
"You really think your friend is that incredible?" he asked without looking up.
I smiled knowingly. "I do."
I took a swig of the beverage and spat it back out all of my legs. It almost splashed his legs and he quickly scrambled away. He looked at me with apparent disgust.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" he yelled.
"It's like medicine," I grimaced. "I don't think this is even a drink!"
x - - x - - x - - ☾ - - x - - x - - x
That night, as Tovin slept, I wrote down the events of the day. As I jotted it all down, I began having new revelations. Tovin seemed to be at his best after resting. In the morning when we got off the train, he seemed alright. However, as the day drew on, he became less and less like himself. I should have known something was up the moment he wandered off without me. Then he was acting like a literal child up to our confrontation with the calraven. He had even mistakenly called me dad, perhaps reliving a buried memory of a hunt with his father.
But when his rifle exploded and he lost consciousness, he was back to himself when he woke up. He seemed to hold strong through dinner up until he went to bed. I wondered what it was about sleeping that restored at least a portion of his working mind.
Then there was the stranger, referred to only once as "Deac." There was no mistaking the magic that glowed in his body, but what was that other energy? I couldn't see it, but for the fact that it danced with and often overtook his magic essence. There were two energies tangled up together inside of him, and they seemed to be at odds with one another. And then there was the Diesel Devil sitting at the back of the cave.
The two of them definitely knew one another on a familiar level. They had been sent together to investigate Eluviel, but why, and from where? She definitely didn't seem happy to see them, but could that have been because she felt I was threatened by them? A splinter-sprite, he called her. A piece of her consciousness that she had shed just before she was subdued.
I wondered why she'd chosen me. Was it because I could see her while others couldn't? Or maybe I was just secretly really, really awesome, like a main character in a novel. I sat under the electric light and smiled at the idea of being someone worthy of tales. Someone like Tovin or Atlas with a bright destiny. But was revenge really such a noble pursuit? The yearning to return home and lift some heads off of shoulders didn't seem like any sort of heroic journey. After I penned the events of the day as best as I could, I got to work answering everyone individually.
Tovin. Be nice to Gill. He's doing his best with what he's got. Instead of being pissed at him, be pissed at the headmasters in question for what they've done to him. I hope everything I wrote above helps in some way, but I'm still running around out here with a lot of questions. Any luck with the spell for your counterpart? As you;ve read, he's getting worse. I need that miracle cure sooner than later. Thanks for your help.
I could already hear him in my head. "I'm working as fast I can you ingrate," or something like that. I laughed under my breath as I thought about what a dick he was. It was pressure, pride, and maintaining appearances that warped his personality so much. Out here in the Diesel as a nobody with nothing to prove, he was so much more agreeable. His inner-Tovin showed through now and again, but I wondered what would happen if he suddenly got all his memories back. Would he be a more chilled-out version of his ENU counterpart, or would he be even more high-strung?
Gill. I hope you read the annotation I scribbled in the margins about not reading the whole journal entry. I forgot you had asked me not to talk about the Galgalim before I had already written it all down. If you skipped right to this response as I hoped, then don't go back and read any of that. There were major revelations about what she is and why she's here.
I knew he wouldn't be able to resist after reading that. I needed his curiosity to overpower his fear. It was possible, I figured, that I could undo some of the damage Vega had done. I just needed to remind Gill of who he was.
I know it's weird putting your trust in me, but if there's anyone you can trust, it's yourself. I'm 99% sure Tovin would back me up on that, haha. And yeah, I remember Fena boasting about the importance of keeping a diary. We love that girl, but we hate to write, am I write?
I hoped he would find my pun funny. He was me, so he would at least smile at it, I was sure.
Even now my hand is aching something fierce, I want to go to bed more than anything. You know how long its been since I've slept in a bed? This mattress feels like heaven under me right now, you got no idea. And is Tovin still threatening to kill you? I thought we had gotten a little closer than that. I can't believe Axle was expelled. You're right, that means you're probably next. Keep your head down, man. Thanks for cooperating with me. If you had changed the summoning signature for the tome, I would have died today... and yesterday too, actually. I'm getting actual combat experience out here. It's wild knowing you can die at any moment. My hand is kinda cramping and I still have to write Fena back so I'll end it here. Thanks again for hearing me out and staying open-minded about this whole thing.
I set the pencil down and massaged the muscle between my thumb and forefinger. I had a lot to tell. But I wasn't about to roll over and drift off without writing to Fena. I picked the pencil up and readjusted myself before putting my words down.
I'm sorry I asked Gill not to tell you, but something deep down inside of me told me he would do it anyway. I just wanted to touch base with him first before I reached out to the rest of you. And technically, I was the one who showed you the message in the tome, so I didn't actually ever keep a secret from you.
I doodled a little smiley face with his tongue sticking out and then quickly erased it only to find that I couldn't fully get it off the page. There was a big smudge there that made it evident that I'd written and then erased something. I let out a frustrated sigh and drew it again, but somehow worse.
That's a solid theory on Tovin there. Same for Atlas. That could end up coming back to bite Vega in the ass. I promise I'll be safe, but do me a favor and help Tovin with whatever it is he needs. He's working on that spell to untether blocked memories from the mind, and the Tovin with me is getting worse by the day it seems. I don't want to see him get caught and sent back to the camp. He won't cooperate with them and they'll definitely kill him.
Thanks for everything, hun. I miss you more than you could ever know. Promise me you'll stay safe too. I know Vega is trying to find a way to get to you. If he got to Tovin... look just take every precaution you can. I love you. Goodnight.
I closed the book and set it down on my bedside table. I pulled the chain on the light, snuffing it out, then turned over and sank my head into the pillow. It wasn't that late yet– I could hear the hum of Diesel vehicles and even the chatter of the populace outside. I pulled the blankets over myself and closed my eyes. I let the warmth of the bed cradle me as I counted my many blessings, and thanked Hahnahkordia that I had somewhere warm and dry to lay my head.
The room was dimly lit when I opened my eyes again. It was just bright enough that I could read the clock on the wall. It was about 7am. It felt like I had blinked. I thought about getting up, but the blankets were so warm, and the room was cold– I had left the window open all night by accident. What reason did I have to get out of bed anyways? I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep again and repeated this several times until the clock read noon and I started to get hungry.
I rolled out of bed and quickly closed the window. I hurried into the hot embrace of my morning shower and got dressed before knocking on Tovin's door. "Hey, you up? I was thinking of breakfast."
There was no answer. I carefully opened his door to find his bed empty and neatly made. I entered the room fully to find that his backpack was also missing. I figured he had to have gotten hungry first and left without me. That theory fell on its face when I ventured back to my room and found a note placed on the side table.
You can sleep all day if you want. I'm going down to the gun range at the hunters' office. I won't be shown up by you again.
I set the note down and began to worry. I didn't like the idea of him going out by himself. What if he were to suddenly backslide mentally while out in Diesel territory alone? I could see a scenario where he'd forget his alias or that he has an incriminating mark on the back of his neck. I got dressed in a hurry and grabbed my backpack before heading out the door. I hurried down the steps and out into the cold wet streets of Bronzegirder.
I made my way north of the crowded city streets and found Alloy street. The bitter winds blew against me as I made my way up the empty road toward the hunters' office. I was starting to regret not buying a warm hat for myself when I bought one for Tovin. I skipped every second step on my way up to the front door and made my way past the reception desk and into the firing range. I heaved a sigh of relief when I found Tovin shooting at targets downrange.
I walked up next to him as he turned his rifle over and grabbed a handful of ammunition from the box sitting on the counter. "Busy morning, Geoffrey?"
"Did you just wake up?" he asked as he began feeding bullets into the tube.
"I figured I didn't have anywhere to be," I shrugged. "I assumed you didn't either. I thought the plan was to get our bonus and ditch this place."
"Yeah, well, I kind of like shooting," he admitted. "Also, we're out of money."
I felt my knees turn to jelly underneath me. "What?" I yelled. "How?"
"Turns out these guns are expensive," he said as he pulled the hammer back and lifted the rifle to his shoulder. "You left ours out in the woods. They charged us for them."
I stammered for entirely too long before wiping both hands over my face and collecting myself. "... How much we got left?"
"We owe," he answered, firing his gun. "They charged us for the uniforms, and then a fee to clean the gunk off of them. Also, I bought us a pair of rain ponchos, they're cheaper here." He motioned to a couple of folded-up ponchos hanging over the wooden divider.
I stammered for a little longer. This was becoming more expensive than it was worth. We would have to hunt another monster today. I was hoping to never have to hoof it out there again, and it was even colder today than it was yesterday.
"Calm down," he said, not taking his eyes off the target. "Get your poncho on. I've got a plan."
"A plan?" I asked.
x - - x - - x - - ★ - - x - - x - - x
"The circus?" I said with a hint of anger in my voice as we stood in front of the many tents and attractions. They had set up east of town on the perimeter of the city. Families wandered the fairgrounds. Vendors had set up games and stands with delicious food we couldn't pay for, and I had just remembered I hadn't eaten breakfast.
"I came this way first when I smelled the food," Tovin said, taking a few steps in front of me and turning around. "Then I explored a little bit. And wouldn't you know it– I found an attraction that was offering a cash prize. It just wasn't open yet."
I sighed and hung my head. "You just wanted to come to the carnival," I grumbled.
"100 octims," he said flatly.
I looked up at him and he smiled faintly. "Thought that would get your attention." He reached into his pocket and produced a single red ticket. "This will get us one round."
"One round?" I asked, taking the ticket and inspecting it. It read, "Single Admission ~ 1 Minute."
"There's a stage toward the back with a guy in a cape that you can challenge in hand-to-hand combat," he said, beckoning me to follow as he turned and started into the fair. I hurried after him as he explained. "Here's the kicker though. You don't have to beat him. All you've got to do is hit him."
"Just hit him?" I asked.
"That's what they said. He's supposed to be some kind of master. You strike him just once and we're set for the next several days, and that's after settling our debt."
This plan was a little better than I had given him credit for. Here I had thought he'd gone bananas again, but this could really work.
"You think I can do it?" I asked. "It can't be easy if they're throwing around a hundred octims."
"Here's what I'm thinking," he said, lowering his voice and slowing down to walk next to me. "You use a little bit of that magic– the kind you isolate in your feet to move quickly."
"Are you nuts?" I cast him an incredulous glance. "Did you forget we'd be on stage in Diesel territory?"
"Just use it once quickly to make your swing a little faster," he reasoned. "It's been drizzling all morning. The stage is wet already. If you're quick about it, it won't stand out."
"I don't know," I shook my head. "It's not the worst plan, but it's so risky."
"Riskier than hunting monsters?" he asked.
That was a fair point. Still, the idea of casting in front of everyone made me uneasy. It wasn't like Jetstream was a super common spell, though. Furthermore, the odds were slim that anyone in the crowd had ever even witnessed magic before. The more I thought about it, the more I started to think we could actually pull this off.
"This is the place," said Tovin as we approached a crowd. There was a wooden sign in front that read, The Slippery Salamander! One hit gets you 100 octims! The two of us pushed through the crowd until we came to the stage where a mustached man was swinging like crazy at the aptly named Salamander. He bobbed and weaved effortlessly around every attempted strike until a man in a red and white striped outfit hurried out onto the stage and blew a whistle.
"Time's up!" he called out.
The crowd cheered and applauded as the Salamander turned and took a bow. The world fell out from underneath me. I couldn't believe my eyes.
Writing Prompt Submitted by u/My-Last-Hope

I recently purchased a car for my parents and now my wife is pissed at me.
I (30s M) am married to my wife (30s F) for roughly 10 years. I am for a very poor background. My parents (late 50s) both work blue collar jobs and are finally stable financially after roughly 30+ years of work. Growing up we were often living hand to mouth. My parents both worked roughly 50-60 hours a week to provide for us. While they made smart financial decisions, it took them a long time to be stable and plan for their future.
I worked my butt off and got a full scholarship, initially in undergrad and finally to law school. After graduating law school Summa cum Laude, I have a very lucrative offer at a prestigious law firm.
I started working and instead of spending it all, I spent it smartly. I purchased a house, which is almost paid off and invested a good amount for our retirement and our daughter's education.
After things became stable and secure, I started spending money on things I was not able to enjoy growing up and as a young adult. For example, I took my wife on a helicopter trip to Niagara falls for our wedding anniversary, something she wanted for a long time. I purchased myself a gaming PC. etc.
Despite the additional expenses, I had a strict budget and never spent more than planned.
I decided to give something back to my parents. They have loved and cared for me and I have never able to do something grand for them. I purchased my dad's dream car, a Range rover. I planned for this purchase about 6 months ahead of time. I discussed this with my wife before purchasing it.
I explained my reason to her and she seemed at first okay with it. After buying them this vehicle, they were very excited, to the point where my dad started crying. I have never seen him cry in my life. I was ecstatic.
When we returned home, my wife started yelling and screaming at me. Telling me, I don't care about her or prioritize her in my life. I was a bit shocked. I tried to calm her down but she wasn't having any off. She was pissed that I would even think about purchasing my parents a car. According to her, only her and my daughter are my family. I should be there to help or support my parents, but not do something so exuberant for them.
It just hurts me, that she would react this way. I have never to my knowledge given her the short end of the stick. She has been the most important person in my life since we married.
AITA?

This is fun little short story that I've been thinking about for a while. I hope that it is entertaining for everyone and do feel free to leave a comment down below with your thoughts. I like hearing from you, and any bit of feedback can help me improve. Enjoy!
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Ask anyone in the academy and they will tell you that deep space explorer is the job everyone dreams about, but anyone who does get the job will tell you just how bad it is. Endless cycles of flying, scanning and then flying some more, all while being locked inside of a ship the size of a small apartment building. To say cabin fever sets in quickly would be an understatement.
Still, the young and naïve will shoot for the position. Some might say that it is simply human nature to want to explore and find something that no one else has ever laid eyes upon. Whatever the reason was, it was this naïve hope of finding something new that landed Lisa in this pickle.
She was a healthy twenty-five-year-old fresh out of the academy, proud graduate of the class of 2247. Her skin was fair, her hair was fiery red, and she possessed a well-toned body as a result of all the training she went through. For the last several years she had been training to be a deep space explorer, and now that she had got her wish, she just wanted to be anywhere else.
That wasn’t to say that she didn’t occasionally enjoy her job, particularly when she is able to record the discovery of a new planet or asteroid cluster, but those long periods of time between these places were killer on her psyche. The only thing that was able to keep her even remotely sane was also a necessary part of being an explorer. Her partner.
Ships always went out with people working in pairs or trios. Daniel was great. They got along well even in their academy days, having a similar sense of humor and shared some hobbies with one another. They both put in to be partners with each other because you had to be able to get along when you are locked in a metal box for months with someone.
Lisa was sitting in the pilot seat of their ship, checking the different status screens to make sure that nothing was going wrong while they were in transit. The door to the cockpit opened and Lisa glanced over her shoulder to see Daniel stagger in and flop down into the co-pilot seat with a yawn. His black hair was rather messy right now, and he had definitely gotten a lot paler since they started this journey due to the lack of direct sunlight they received.
“Morning sleeping beauty, looks like you enjoyed your little nap.” Lisa said with a slightly teasing voice.
“Yeah, well after that double shift I had to pull when the plumbing line cracked, I’ve been whipped. I appreciate you taking over my shift at the helm.”
“No big deal, basically just watching a bunch of blinking lights. Honestly might have fallen asleep myself a few times. Promise not to rat me out?”
He chuckled a bit. “Sure, so long as my unscheduled nap doesn’t make it into the logs.”
“Deal.”
With that bit of lighthearted banter, they both went back to their jobs, which for now was directing the last stages of exiting from slip space. When they exited traveling speed and coasted to a much more reasonable pace, the first of the scans for the new system they entered were sent out. Lots of stray gasses and rocks. There was a small moon sized celestial body that was high in metal content though.
“Well, that might make a good mark for a mining colony to set up around for a few years. I think that’s worth a bonus at least.” Lisa comments.
“Yeah, not the most interesting system we’ve ever been to, but it has potential. Making note of it in the log.”
Everything seemed to be going rather by the book. Lisa was interested in the possibility of the small moon growing into something else, maybe a gas planet given another few tens of thousands of years. Still, nothing much left to do here, so she... A light started blinking on the console, one that shouldn’t have been blinking this far out in the middle of nowhere.
“Huh.” She idly sounded out while reaching out to change the screen’s projection.
“What’s up?” Daniel asked.
“Oh, I'm not sure yet. The sensors are picking up a signal, but it's probably just stray background radiation tricking the system. Let me clear it up.”
Daniel nodded and let her do just that while he focused on taking a detailed recording of the moon for those back home. Meanwhile, Lisa was still trying to find the cause of the signal and filter it out. The only problem with that she found that the signal was locally generated, not just a strong interstellar pulse.
Her brow dropped in clear confusion as she started to set the scanner to track the source of the signal. It pinged several times and it came back that it was moving. “Hey, Daniel.”
“What’s up?”
“Do you know if there are any deep space probes in the area?”
“Uhm, let me check. Why?”
“That signal that we found, it is locally generated, and it’s moving.”
“Oh, damn, are we trespassing on a corporate claimed system?”
“That’s what I want to find out. Pull up the probe list for this area.”
“Already on it. Let’s see...” He scanned through the list that appeared on the screen in front for a minute, reading over various probe identifiers and posting notices. “Hmmm, this might be a problem. There are no active probes in the area, at least none that are registered. Illegal operations?”
“It’s possible. We should snap a few pictures and then report this.”
“Alright. I’ll keep an eye out for additional signals. If this turns out to be pirates, we need to gun it out of here.”
“Diverting power to engines, adjusting heading, and here we go.” With a few simple commands she pushed the ship into motion towards the mysterious signal. It was about thirty minutes of sub-slip flight to reach the general area. The tension was building in the cockpit as the two continued to be on the edge of their seats just in case this turned out to be a trap.
They entered the zone of the signal’s source, and it was projected to be within twenty miles of their current position and closing fast. “Can we get a visual on this thing yet?” Lisa asked.
“Hold on, locking in on the source, external cameras are active and searching.” It was a few minutes later that a ping sounded from his console. “Got it, putting it on the main screen.”
They both looked over to see that the source of the signal was a ship, although it wasn’t of any design or make that they were familiar with. “Daniel, any ideas of what to do? They seem to have power, but are they stranded?”
“I’m not picking up an SOS, it just seems like they are transmitting a stream of data somewhere. Should we try hailing them?”
Lisa contemplated that for a moment. “We should, just in case they need help. I’ve got the engines hot and ready to go if things get pear shaped.”
“Opening up a channel now.” Daniel flipped a few switches, and the mic was hot. “Unidentified vessel, this is the Chariot of Helios. We were passing through the area when we picked up your data stream. Are you in need of assistance?” There was a minute where nothing came back on the radio. “Unidentified vessel, please respond.” A second later Daniel’s eyebrows went up. “Uhm...”
The way he sounded had Lisa worried. “What? What’s wrong?”
“Their signal stopped.” He replied tersely, keeping his focus on the panel in front of him.
“Good or bad?”
“Don’t know. There are a lot of things this could mean. They might be doing something illegal, in which case they think we busted them, the stop of the signal could be a signal for someone, in which case this is a trap, or they are just trying to redirect their focus onto us.”
“Here’s hoping it’s the last one. I’m ready to blow this joint at a moment’s notice”
“Hold on, they’re sending something back. I’ll put in on speaker.” What came through was a series of clicking, screeching, and whistling sounds that made the two of them flinch.
“The hell was that?” Lisa asked.
“Maybe they are having some technical problems? Let me try again.” He started to transmit again. “Unidentified vessel, please repeat your last message, we did not understand you.”
This time there was a long pause in the back and forth that lasted several minutes before the ship started to send them something. “They’re sending us a data package.” Daniel said as the information came in through the screening process.
“What’s on it?”
“Hold on, it’s a pretty big file size.” There was a pause for a moment before he quirked his brow questioningly. “This is... is this a lexicon?”
“What? Let me see that.” She leaned over to get a view of the stream of symbols and occasional accompanying pictures. It had a similar layout to the lexicons that they were familiar with and were taught about in the academy but there were some minor differences that made it unique. “Daniel, do you recognize any of this?”
“The format, sort of, but not the characters or the language used here. Lisa, I'm thinking we might be involved in something big here.”
“Wait, you don’t mean that this is...”
He nodded. “Yeah, this might be a first contact.”
That was hard to grasp for the two of them. In over fifty years of human deep space travel there hadn’t been a single sign of alien life. To think that they would be the ones to discover another civilization was difficult to process. Still, there were procedures in place for such a happening if ever it did occur.
“Uhm, okay, so, erm.” She fumbled around the console a little bit while trying desperately to remember the steps as her mind was thrown into chaotic panic. “Fuck! I mean... Aliens!”
“I know, I know, just... try to keep calm and let's give them our own lexicon. We have it around here... somewhere.” He might have not have been as visibly panicked as she was, but he was still floundering a bit with the ship controls.
“Okay, alright, I’m calm, I’m good. I’ll just, uhm, put their lexicon through the learning program.” The simple VI program could parse an insane amount of data and find common patterns that it would use to devise a logical conclusion. In this case, it would decipher their language, at least in written form.
“You do that, I just found our lexicon file and am now sending the packet to them. Oh damn, almost forgot, we need to record all of this, so we have it on file.”
“Really? Shit, as if I wasn’t already under enough pressure. Can’t we send out a request for help?”
“Take a deep breath, we’re months out into wild space and any message will take weeks to travel. I'm going to start the recording.”
While Lisa watched the learning program slowly decipher the alien lexicon, Daniel started the recording with a brief description of their names, the name of their ship, and the situation that they had found themselves in. Once the basics were covered it was now just a waiting game. Either they would figure out the alien language first, or the aliens would decipher theirs. Whatever the outcome, the tension from waiting was terrible.
It felt like the progress bar on the translations was taking forever, and eventually Lisa just got up to go and prepare something to eat so she had something to distract herself with. While cooking on the shuttle was rather limited given the nature of their job, there was a certain art in preparing the dehydrated foods in a way that would make them palatable. The process of making their favorite combination of dried foods. That was able to distract her for a while, and the meal helped return the mood around the ship to at least a relative normal.
Hours ended up passing. The progress that the learning program made on the lexicon was significant. It was almost a full day of waiting and they had just reached the three-fourths mark on the program before the console pinged with an incoming message. Both of them were dozing in the cockpit when the console came alive again, and they jumped in their seats while scrambling to their stations again.
“What just came in.” Lisa asked with a slightly frantic tone.
“Hold on, checking now. We appear to be receiving a message, text only. It just says, ‘Hello’.”
“They sent that? Does that mean they figured out our language?” She sounded a bit more excited. The first successful communication between different species.
“That’s what it seems like. I guess their programs were more advanced than ours. I wonder what else they have that might be better?” Daniel contemplated all the possibilities before shaking his head. “Let’s save the speculations for later. We should return a message.”
She shot him a grin. “Will it be the stereotypical message that we always see?”
He gave a grin himself. “What better message is there? I’ve always wanted to say this.” He began typing out the message they would send to the aliens in reply, and Lisa watched as the words appeared on the screen.
‘Greetings from humanity, we come in peace and wish for cooperation.’
The cockpit went still for a few minutes, and you could barely even hear the two breathe as they waited for the reply.
‘Hello humanity, we of the Ursul Collective are gladdened to hear of your peaceful intentions.’
“Yes!” Lisa shouted out and threw her hands into the air. “Aliens! Peaceful aliens! Fuck yeah! I wonder what kind of music they have. Maybe they’re fuzzy.” She gasped at the realization. “Oh my god, if they’re furry little guys I'm going to lose it.”
“Please do not scare away the aliens before we have a chance to establish diplomatic relations.”
“That depends on them and how cute they are.”
“I will kick you out of this cockpit if you do anything crazy.”
She huffed. “Fine, I'll try to contain myself.”
“Good.” With that he got back to the conversation with the aliens known as the Ursul.
‘We are very far from our home on a scouting mission, but we hope that you would be willing to set up a meeting between our leaders.’
After a pause for apparent deliberation was had, they replied. ‘We do not have much authority as we are similar to you in occupation. However, news of meeting people from the stars will be heeded by all, so we need to return to our world to establish such a meeting. We invite you to follow but would need access to your computers to relay navigation data to avoid stellar obstacles.’
“That might be a problem.” Lisa idly states. “The security on the navigation controls wouldn’t recognize any of their computers and lock them out. They would need to give them to us in person, which means they would have to come aboard, and we don’t yet know if our atmospheres are compatible.”
“Well, we can ask them about that at the very least.” He gets to work typing again.
‘We are honored that you would invite us to your home, but our ship lacks the means of receiving that data unless it’s in person. If you would tell us the composition of your atmosphere and the weight of your gravity it would help us figure out if it is possible for a visit between our ships to take place.’
There was another brief pause before the reply. ‘Our atmosphere is mostly a nitrogen oxygen composite of seventy-five and twenty-three percent respectively with gravity set at nine point five three meters a second.’
‘Okay, that is relatively comparable to our own conditions. It should be safe for you to come aboard for the transfer, at least for a little while until further tests can be made. If you are willing to come aboard, we would be happy to host you for as long as you need’
‘We are very excited for the prospect of being the first to meet with a new species face to face. How would we connect our ships?’
‘Our dock has a flexible tube attachment that can seal around a variety of ports. You will have to make a short jump through zero gravity, but you can make it across safely. Do you have any concerns about this?’
‘We do not. Two of us will make the trip across. You may approach us slowly, our port is extended and waiting for your umbilical.’
With the permission received, they began their cautious approach as to not spook the aliens or cause an accident. The strange oblong vehicle they piloted had a flat bottom, was gunmetal grey, and currently had a tube extended from its port side. Lisa and Daniel piloted their ship to match the speed of the alien vessel was drifting at. Once they were synchronized, the umbilical tube was extended out from their ship and carefully wrapped around the extended port where it was vacuum sealed and then atmospherically pressurized.
‘The umbilical is secure; you may cross when ready.’
‘Acknowledged, we will begin the boarding process for your ship’
Lisa jumped out of her seat and rushed to the airlock, practically bouncing off the walls with excitement. She couldn’t even stand still as she rocked on the balls of her feet while waiting. Daniel was much more reserved but still held a fixed grin that showed he was eager to see the aliens as well.
Soon the sound of the outer airlock closing was heard inside the ship, and the two humans straightened themselves out as much as possible. Lisa bit her lip in anticipation, taking a few deep breaths to calm herself to a respectable level. The inner door started to open, and Lisa stepped forward to speak first only to freeze in place at the sight of the beings standing in the entrance.
Standing in the entrance to the airlock were two aliens over six feet tall that looked like upright arthropods. Their black shells were reminiscent of ancient earth trilobites, eight limbs consisting of four legs and four arms, with heads similar to that of vespids, clacking mandibles and antennae included.
Lisa went stiff as a board and pale as a ghost, frozen in abject horror. The two alien arthropods also stopped all bodily movement at the sight of the humans before the one on the left let out a screech and charge at Lisa.
HolyfuckingshitthisishowIdie! Was the only thought that went through her head before her arms were seized by the alien with two of its graspers holding her by the elbows and the other two by the shoulders. Its mandibles clacked rapidly as it let out a series of whistling, humming, and trilling sounds while prodding along her head with its antennae.
Lisa was so paralyzed that she couldn’t even find it in her to scream. Her heart was racing so fast in her chest that she thought it might explode as she was on the verge of tears. In a single act of desperation, she managed to look towards where Daniel was, hoping that he would come to her rescue, but only seeing him backing away from the other alien that was moving towards him as well.
“Hey! I’m warning you dude, stay away from me, I'll rock you upside the head!” He threatened the alien that paid no mind as it still slowly closed distance with him.
“D-D-D-Daniel! Help!” She managed to stammer out.
He looked over at his partner in the grasp of the large alien and then back at the one trying to corner him. With a curse on his lips, he swung a haymaker and struck the alien approaching him on the side of its head. Immediately pain shot up through him as it felt like he had just punched a rock, but the alien was sent staggering from the blow.
Wasting no time, he rushed to the aid of his partner, and learning his lesson, he opted to grab her while shoving as hard as he could against her captor. The alien’s grip wasn’t all that strong, and she slid out of its grasp while it stumbled backwards. Immediately he pulled Lisa behind him and started to back away from them towards the cockpit.
The aliens had recovered from the blows, though still appeared to be somewhat disoriented. The one that Daniel had pushed had moved to assist the staggering alien that was punched before trying to approach the two humans again with raised graspers. Daniel put up his fists for a fight, but the punch-drunk alien reached out and grabbed its comrade, stopping them from approaching.
This alien took the lead over its comrade, approaching extremely slowly in a half-bowed manner. Daniel did not drop his guard, but he took notice as the alien reached towards one of its arms which had a device attached to it. Their nimble four fingered hands started to tap away at the device for a moment.
After they stopped fiddling with the device, the console in the cockpit pinged with a notification for a received message. Daniel cast a quick glance in that direction before returning an iron clad gaze onto the aliens who were standing completely still.
“Lisa, go check what that message says. I’ll watch them.”
She was more than okay with that as it gave her an excuse to get as far away from the freaky aliens as possible. Now in the other room she felt significantly better and was able to focus a little more. Checking the screen, she found the message somewhat odd, and yelled out at Daniel what it said.
“The message says: ‘I am sorry, we appear to have breached some sort of social barrier and apologize. We hope that we have not damaged our chances at relations.’”
Daniel’s brow dropped in contemplation. Was this just a misunderstanding? He started to feel a little bad for punching the one alien.
“Lisa, can you link my tablet to the ship systems and bring it to me?”
“Yeah, right, one second.” She was a little bit unsure about going back into that room, but so long as she kept Daniel between herself and the aliens, she could manage. After syncing the devices, she returned to Daniel and handed him the tablet, not so subtly hiding behind him as just looking at the two aliens made her break out in a cold sweat.
Daniel started to type out a question to help clarify the situation. ‘Why did you grab my partner like that?’
After reading the message, the alien frantically started typing on their device. ‘I apologize profusely for any offense that this might have cause. My own partner was simply overcome with surprise and failed to control themselves. There was no harm intended.’
‘And what was intended? You still haven’t said why you reacted that way or laid hands on my partner.’ Daniel fixed them with a glare, and despite them being significantly more terrifying than him, they seemed to shrink a little under his gaze. When they started typing again, it was with some hesitance before they sent it.
‘We do not wish to offend you, but you are very appealing to our senses, especially the smaller human with the bright fur. My companion simply could not resist touching and I apologize for his and my own actions.’
Daniel and Lucy were shocked when they read that, and it took them a solid minute to fully process it. ‘So... You’re saying that you find us cute?’
‘Yes.’
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Next

I live in a flatshare in a large European city. There are 4 rooms in the flat and we each rent them individually from the landlord. There is a common kitchen, living room, bathrooms etc.
Two of my housemates are Muslim and fasting for Ramadan. I'm an atheist, but I'm a firm believer of religious freedom and I don't care what anyone believes unless they are hurting others.
I mostly work from home and therefore tend to eat a little earlier than others as they all have to commute home.
My two Muslim flatmates have asked me to stop having dinner so 'early' because they smell it, see me eat it and apparently it makes them even more hungry, making Ramadan harder for them. I initially said no and they then asked if I would at least eat dinner in my room so they didn't have to see it.
I feel torn. On one hand, there is no massive harm to me waiting another 30/45 mins to have my dinner, so I could do a small thing to help them. On the other hand, it is their religious choice and I don't really see why I should change my behaviour.
Reddit, am I the asshole for refusing to eat later to make life easier for my Muslim housemates?

Check out our full Durham events calendar. If you'd like to add an event to our calendar, submit an event here. Please check with the event owners to see if events change due to weather. Have a great weekend!
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March Featured Event

The Hunt for the Golden Bulls with Bull City Burger and Brewery

• The 13th annual “Hunt for the Golden Bulls”: a scavenger hunt inspired by the golden tickets from the film Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Throughout the month, clues and puzzles will be revealed on social media and at bullcityburgerandbrewery.com. The clues, once deciphered, lead participants to public spaces around Durham where a golden bull has been carefully hidden.
• Golden Bulls #1, #2, #3, and #4 have been found.

Multi-Day Events

The Durham Savoyards presents Gilbert and Sullivan’s The Yeomen of The Guard at The Carolina Theatre

• Do you need a comic operetta fix? In their 60th year, the Durham Savoyards are performing Gilbert and Sullivan’s The Yeomen of the Guard. The show promises a live orchestra, a travelling jester and his lovely lady, an assistant jailer interested in torture and comedy, a deviously flirtatious woman, a vanishing prisoner, sweetheart stealing, a blindfolded bride, a shot in the dark, a cock-and-bull story, and enough lies and connivances to make your head spin, if the headsman doesn’t get it first.
• Fri, Mar 31 at 8:00 p.m.
• Sat, Apr 1 at 7:00 p.m.
• Sun, Apr 2 at 3:00 p.m.
• $40

Events at The Pinhook

• Thu, Mar 30 at 8:00 p.m. - Yolo Karaoke!
• Fri, Mar 31 at 8:00 p.m. - ¡Tumbao! / Akita / Mami’s and the Papis!
• Sat, Apr 1 at 7:00 p.m. - Horizontal Hold / Neill Wyeman / Osowa Tome
• Sat, Apr 1 at 10:00 p.m. - The House Of Coxx Presents: Drag Divinity
• Sat, Apr 1 at 11:55 p.m. - Rent Due Dance Party!!!
• Sun, Apr 2 at 7:00 p.m. - Matty Frank / Debbie The Artist / Jr – LGBTQ Center Benefit!

Improv Comedy at Mettlesome

• Thu-Sat at 8:00 p.m. Romance is Dead: A Sketch Comedy Show About the Darker Side of Romance
• Fri, Mar 31 at 7:00 p.m. The Racket - See indie improv teams from around the Triangle show off their stuff.
• Fri, Mar 31 at 9:00 p.m. Hush Hush - Improv inspired by anonymous secrets from the audience.
• Sat, Apr 1 at 9:00 p.m. House Party - A mix of short-form (similar to Who's Line is it Anyway?) and long-form inspired by an audience interview.
• All shows $8

Events at Motorco Music Hall

• Thu, Mar 30 at 8:00 p.m. - Ryan Montbleau with Bryan Elijah Smith
• Fri, Mar 31 at 8:00 p.m. - The Reverend Peyton’s Big Damn Band with The Hooten Hallers

Live Music at Blue Note Grill

• Thur, Mar 30 at 7:30 p.m. - Blood Brothers: Mike Zito & Albert Castiglia
• Fri, Mar 31 at 6:00 p.m. - The Duke Street Dogs
• Fri, Mar 31 at 9:15 p.m. - Wiley Fosters Play Foster Wiley
• Sat, Apr 1 at 7:30 p.m. - Armand & Bluesology featuring Carter Minor

Events at Moon Dog Meadery

• Thu, Mar 30 at 6:30 p.m. - 90's Trivia Night with The Durham Library
• Sun, Apr 2 at 7:00 p.m. - Moon Dog Open Mic

Live Music at Sharp 9 Gallery

• Fri, Mar 31 at 8:00 p.m. - Peter Bernstein/Joey Calderazzo Quartet
• Sat, Apr 1 at 2:00 p.m. - Peter Bernstein Masterclass
• Sat, Apr 1 at 8:00 p.m. - Peter Bernstein/Joey Calderazzo Quartet

Events at Arcana

• Thu, Mar 30 - Matt Southern & Kit McKay and Tarot with Virginia
• Fri, Mar 31 (bar opens at 8 p.m.) - Andrew Kasab and Tarot with Virginia
• Sat, Apr 1 - Bardo Bloom Tarot with Rene
• Sun, Apr 2 - Slow Teeth w/Robert Chamberlain and Tarot with Emily

Events at Rubies on Five Points

• Thu, Mar 30 at 8:00 p.m. - Piedmont with Scivic Rivers
• Fri, Mar 31 at 10:00 p.m. - DJ Bagaceiro Presents: Still Rising – A Tribute To De La Soul
• Sat, Apr 1 at 10:00 p.m. - Renaissance Disko V with DJ Vsprtn Brings You The Fifth Edition Of Disko

Events at The Fruit

• Thu, Mar 30 at 8:00 p.m. - Below Decks: Isabel Essence / Acfx 969 / K Ward / Miss Ashley
• Thu, Mar 30 at 8:00 p.m. - Rabbit Foot Puppetry Presents: The Clown Car Rolls On
• Sat, Apr 1 at 9:30 p.m. - Ignition Featuring: Popov (Form Music)
• Sun, Apr 2 at 12 p.m. - The Fruit Flea: Monthly Flea Market

Ira Knight Presents From Myth To Man: Martin Luther King, An Interpretation at Walltown Children's Theatre

• An audience talkback with actor and playwright will follow each performance. This original one-man play is currently touring colleges and universities in the United States.
• Fri, Mar 31 at 7:00 p.m. and Sat, Apr 1 at 2 p.m.
• $22

NCCU Dance Repertory Spring Concert at NCCU University Theatre

• The Department of Theatre will present its annual Spring Dance Concert.
• Sat, Apr 1 at 8:00 p.m.
• Sun, Apr 2 at 3:00 p.m.
• $10

Thursday, Mar 30

Relay Relay at Boxyard RTP

• Relay Relay is the feel good, free-spirited indie pop group led by the husband and wife songwriting team of Hannah and Jamie Rowen. Their music blends retro soundscapes into a uniquely modern sound with powerful vocal melodies, vibey guitar riffs, dreamy synth tones and rich harmonies woven together with a strong pop sensibility.
• 5:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.
• Free admission

Vinyl Night with DJ Deckades at Gizmo Brew Works

• Enjoy fresh vibes on the patio with DJ Deckades. Bring your own vinyl to share or just listen to what the DJ is spinning.
• 6:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m.
• Free admission

Boulders & Brews Meetup at Triangle Rock Club - Durham

• Show up and climb at TRC Durham, then head over to Hi-Wire for some brews. Don't worry if it's your first time or haven't bouldered before; everyone's welcome.
• Your first visit to the gym with the Meetup includes free admission and gear rental, and subsequent visits with the meetup are $15 and include harness rental (outside of meetups, day pass rates of $19 apply and do not include rentals).
• 6:30 p.m. - 8:30 p.m.

Al Strong Presents Jazz on the Roof at The Durham Hotel

• The Durham is excited to bring back “Al Strong Presents.” A favorite rooftop event, it’s back by popular demand! Join us for live jazz music on the Roof overlooking downtown Durham.
• 7:00 p.m. - 9:30 p.m.
• Free admission, but space is limited

Live Music in the Taproom at The Glass Jug Beer Lab - Downtown Durham

• Glass Jug offers local live music EVERY Thursday in their Downtown Durham taproom.
• 7:00 p.m. - 10:00 p.m.
• Free admission

Trivia Night w/Big Slow Tom at Clouds Brewing Brightleaf Square

• Join Clouds Durham for Big Slow Tom's Trivia Night, every Thursday. Win some prizes, drink some beer, and show your smarts.
• Enjoy $4 select draft and $5 rotating bartender's choice all night.
• 7:30 p.m.
• Free admission

Friday, Mar 31

Tasting at Ten at Counter Culture Coffee

• Every Friday morning at 10 am, Counter Culture Coffee opens their Training Centers to coffee lovers who want to learn more about Counter Culture Coffee’s high-quality, sustainably sourced menu.
• 10:00 a.m.
• Free, but donations accepted

Carolina BBQ Fest (Dreamville Pop-Up/ Flea Market) at Studio Motif Durham

• The Carolina BBQ Music Festival is an indoooutdoor event curated to highlight North and South Carolina's emerging talent, such as performing and visual artists, brands, small businesses and content creators. Prepare for an action packed performance and networking with over 100's of creatives and like-minded music lovers from all over the Carolina's and the USA.
• 2:00 p.m. - 10:00 p.m.
• $20

Durham Bulls Kickoff Party at CCB Plaza

• Join us at CCB Plaza on game day starting at 3:30 p.m. for music from DJ Piddipat, free popcorn provided by Self Help and cornhole. You also won’t want to miss the special guest appearance from Wool E. Bull himself!
• 3:30 p.m. - 6:00 p.m.
• Free admission

Swing into Spring at the Durham Art Council Truist Gallery

• Join the Durham Art Guild for a night celebrating the arts. It’s their first in-person event since 2019! Enjoy local entertainment, Art experiences, food and drink, and place your bids on fabulous art pieces and items celebrating the best of the Bull City!
• 6:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m.
• Free admission

Open Mic Stand-Up Comedy at Durty Bull Brewing Company

• This weekly event takes place indoors in the Barrel Room, with seating available for nearly 100 people. There's no better way to unwind after a long week than a night of laughter with Ashley & Ebony. Interested in performing? Please contact Ashley and Ebony.
• 8:00 p.m. - 11:00 p.m.
• 21+
• Free admission

Pub Karaoke at West 94th St Pub

• Hosted by All King Entertainment.
• 10:00 p.m. - 1:00 a.m.
• Free admission

Saturday, Apr 1

parkrun Durham at Southern Boundaries Park

• A free, fun, and friendly weekly 5k community event. Walk, jog, run, volunteer, or spectate. It's up to you!
• 8:00 a.m.
• Free admission

Durham Farmers’ Market at Durham Central Park

• The Durham Farmers’ Market offers locally grown fruits and vegetables, meats, eggs, cut flowers, artisanal cheeses and breads, home-baked pies, honey, handmade chocolates, preserves, local wines, handmade soaps, fresh pasta, and artwork of all sorts!
• 8:00 a.m. - 12:00 p.m.
• Free admission

South Durham Farmers' Market at Greenwood Commons Shopping Center

• The market strives to support new and growing farms and vendors in the greater Durham area, and they are also home to some of the most iconic Durham brands around.
• 8:00 a.m. - 12:00 p.m.
• Free admission

Durham Master Gardener Volunteers Plant Festival at Durham County Cooperative Extension

• Join Durham County Cooperative Extension and other community partners for a fun and educational day. Learn about native plants, composting, beekeeping, bird-friendly habitats, the Durham Library seed library, local community gardens, patio gardening, and MORE. There will be kid-friendly, hands-on exhibits and a story time. While you’re there, learn about the Plant Sale the following week and the first 200 get a free plant.
• 10:00 a.m. - 12:00 p.m.
• Free admission

Art-n-Soul Market at Mystic Farm & Distillery

• Come shop handmade in this special setting. Mystic Farm & Distillery in Durham offers a unique place to gather and enjoy local spirits. The Art-n-Soul Market brings the best local artisans, food trucks and live music out to the farm for bourbon tastings, craft cocktails, food trucks and distinctive gifts you won't find anywhere else. Bring your friends and meet us at the bourbon farm! Dogs welcome.
• 12:00 p.m. - 4:00 p.m.
• Free admission

Crafternoons at Gizmo Brew Works

• Free pint with purchase of craft box. Choose from a variety of craft packages available for all ages.
• 12:00 p.m. - 10:00 p.m.

Sunday, Apr 2

Public Tour at Duke University Chapel

• Learn about the history, architecture, and life of Duke Chapel in this tour. The tour begins at 12:15 p.m., or immediately following the conclusion of the Sunday morning service, and lasts approximately 45 minutes. No reservation is required but if you plan to bring a large group please contact [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]). Meet the docent on the front steps of the Chapel.
• 12:15 p.m.
• Free admission

Trivia at Navigator Beverage Co.

• Hosted by the Triangle’s Trivia team, Hammered Trivia, gather your team and post up to compete for prizes and enjoy an afternoon of great drinks, great friends, and great games.
• 2:00 p.m. - 4:00 p.m.
• Free admission

Running Art Exhibits

Art Exhibition: 'Marc Chagall and the Bible' at Duke Chapel

• In partnership with Duke Initiatives in Theology and the Arts (DITA), the Chapel is presenting an exhibition of prints of works by the distinguished, modernist artist Marc Chagall. Curated by the art collector Sandra Bowden, the exhibition, Marc Chagall and the Bible, features etchings and lithographs with biblical themes.
• The Chapel is open daily from 10:00 a.m. - 8:00 p.m. but is sometimes closed to the public for private ceremonies
• Runs through March 30
• No tickets or reservations required.

The Textile Art of Debbie Secan in the Great Hall of the Golden Belt Campus

• Debbie Secan fell in love with weaving as a teenager and has worked with woven structures ever since, in the textile industry and as a fine artist. The materials in her work are repurposed for environmental reasons and to exploit the breadth of resources we discard.
• Runs through Mar 31
• Mon-Sat from 10:00 a.m. - 6:00 p.m. Sun from 10:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m.
• Free admission

The Art of Nicholas Edward at the Building 2 Gallery at Golden Belt Campus

• Derrick Nicholas is the artist behind Nicholas Edward. Originally from Charlotte, North Carolina, he moved to Raleigh in 1995 and has been a Triangle resident ever since. A North Carolina A&T University class of 2008 graduate with a Bachelor’s Degree in Graphic Design, art has been Nicholas’ passion since the age of 6. He loves to express and create through various mediums including pencil, digital, and paint, and finds that each provides a unique and therapeutic satisfaction.
• Runs through Mar 31
• Mon-Sat from 10:00 a.m. - 6:00 p.m. Sun from 10:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m.
• Free admission

Mi Casa, Your Casa Experience at The Streets at Southpoint

• Designed to look and feel like an inviting home, Mi Casa, Your Casa 2.0 encourages visitors to come together and feel a sense of warmth and community as they step in, swing, and relax in one of the glowing red houses.
• Runs through Apr 2

The Mind’s Eye: Gallery Members Exhibition at 5 Points Gallery

• 5 Points Gallery celebrates cleverness in the Year of the Rabbit with their new exhibit called “The Mind’s Eye”.
• Runs through Apr 15
• Free admission

Damian Stamer Collaborations: New Paintings at Craven Allen Gallery

• Collaborations features both new paintings from Stamer’s continued exploration of home, memory, and place as well as a new body of work created in collaboration with Artificial Intelligence. Instead of his traditional process of using photographs as source material, Stamer used an AI text-to-image generator to compile reference imagery. The resulting oil paintings are visually striking and raise timely questions about our relationship with the digital world.
• Runs through May 6
• Free admission

Beyond the Surface: Collage, Mixed Media and Textile Works from the Collection at the Nasher

• This exhibition includes approximately 40 works, primarily from the Nasher Museum’s collection. With a focus on collage, mixed media and textile works, Beyond the Surface explores how artists bring together disparate materials and ideas to create artworks that engage with all audiences.
• Tue-Fri from 10:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m. Sun from 12:00 p.m. - 5:00 p.m.
• Runs through May 14
• Free admission

Patrimonio Heritage at John Hope Franklin Center Gallery

• A series of drawing interventions on “Llanchama” (Amazonian tree bark) by Peruvian/American artist Renzo Ortega.
• Mon-Fri from 8:00 a.m. - 6:00 p.m.
• Runs through May 18
• Free admission

Exhibits at 21c Museum Hotel

• Whitney Stanley: We Just Be in the Vault Gallery
• This We Believe in the Main Gallery
• Runs through May 31
• Open 24 hours
• Free admission

Spirit in the Land at the Nasher

• Spirit in the Land is a contemporary art exhibition that examines today’s urgent ecological concerns from a cultural perspective, demonstrating how intricately our identities and natural environments are intertwined. Through their artwork, 30 artists show us how rooted in the earth our most cherished cultural traditions are, how our relationship to land and water shapes us as individuals and communities
• Tue-Fri from 10:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m. Sun from 12:00 p.m. - 5:00 p.m.
• Runs through Jul 9
• Free admission

Art of Peru at the Nasher

• This gallery features ceramics, textiles, metalwork and carvings produced by ancient cultures across what is known as present-day Peru.
• Tue-Fri from 10:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m. Sun from 12:00 p.m. - 5:00 p.m.
• Runs through Dec 2
• Free admission

Hi, I'm an MS3. I am trying to decide between IM and Psychiatry, wanted to see if anyone has any advice. Post is a little long so I've divided it into sections for anyone that wants to skip through. Appreciate any insight in advance!
A little about me: I majored in Neuroscience and a lot of my research in college is on resting MRI scans of patients with anxiety and depression. I am a below average student at a mediocre US medical school, and a P/F step1 so I have no idea how competitive I am nationally until step2 really. High passed most of my course work so far, currently on Psych rotation. In terms of what I want for my life, I do have priority on a good lifestyle and being able to be a good dad to my future kids (With a SO I'll likely marry). I want to be actively involved in their lives as opposed to living at the hospital. Obviously I don't need to be home at 3 pm every day and never working, but I don't want to be missing dinners and working an excessive amount of holidays/weekends.
What I like about IM: I like managing the physiology and pathophysiology I've learned for so long. I get along really well with the residents and attendings. I like how objective IM can be, in terms of clear decision trees on how to manage different complications.
What I dislike about IM: My brother is an internist and talks about how is job is largely managing insurance and social work as opposed to all of the patient care he anticipated. He feels like the glory days of medicine are in the rear view mirror, and it's largely a "refer to a specialist cover your a**" situation. Compensation is decreasing.
What I like about Psych: I have always had an inclination towards helping patients with anxiety and depression. I have lost friends to depression and it's made me fairly passionate about this. I like the longer visit times in clinic, getting to spend 30-45 minutes with a patient and hearing them out as opposed to how fast visits are in IM because of how busy they are. (After talking to my brother), I like how psych can be "Cash friendly" and avoid some of the hassles with insurance in the clinic/private practice setting. And just to have complete honesty, I do like the lifestyle that psych offers.
What I don't like about psych: I don't like that I will kind of abandon all of the medicine and physiology I've worked so hard to learn and been so interested in for years. The psych residents I have right now are not able to recognize half of the diabetes and anti-hypertensives on the patients' charts. I don't like the ambiguity of treating patients. Everyone responds differently to different medications, and while I like the challenge, I am usually a much more objective person and not a big fan of ambiguity.
I know it's a lot, and if there isn't much advice to offer I'm sure this post will die peacefully in reddit oblivion. But if anyone happened to be in a similar situation to me, I'd love any insight you can offer! Thanks in advance!

Hello everyone,
I have no great outlets for help, and I've been swirling around with emotions the last four days after my wife asked if we could have a general open relationship. She was asking if we could date other people while keeping each other as the Primary family/relationship. My wife is 27 and I'm 32 years old. We have two boys 3 and 1 that we love with all our hearts. We have always loved being around each other and we fun every chance we get. We seldom get to go out on dates without the kids (Once every 3 months). I spend a lot of time at work during the week and she's in nursing school. We have about 3-4 hours during the week together with the kids and the weekends. We live in Florida with no other family in the state and we rely heavily on each other to make sure we and the kids have everything we need.
Day 1, 3/28/23 My wife would have liked a better setting to present this information, but I pushed her to tell me what was on her mind. I could tell she needed to share something with me. I had no clue what she was about to say. She let me know that for two years she has been desiring to have the feeling of going on a first date and having a new emotional connection with someone new (New butterfly feeling when you first date someone). Something I cannot provide her. She has battled with this for a while and prayed for the feeling to leave her. The day before she told me our very close friend (For clarity he is gay, and we are all close friends since before my wife and I met. He introduced us) was in town and she shared with him her feels. He's very emotionally entuned with himself and his feels and was concerned why she didn't feel safe sharing this information with me first. Later she told me that she didn't what kind of affect this would cause our relationship. She loves her life but is also young and desires the feeling of a new emotional connection and that excitement. She has stated that she's 100% in love with me and doesn't want to lose what we have. (It's hard to explain to most but my wife and I have had several moments in our lives where we should have died but God has saved us) We fully trust one another and when she tells me she wants to keep the life we have but add in another layer of short term excitement. I must trust that is what she's asking for. We've never needed to lie, and I can tell she is being honest (It's still unclear the extent of excitement she's needing, and I feel that can be a slippery slope from dating to sex). She's informed me this is something she wants to experience while she is still young and very desirable. We get pregnant quickly and she was only 23, and now she wants to have that fresh feeling of dating (That's my understanding).
Initially, I took several breaths to fully understand what I was hearing my head started to pound as my blood pressure increase. I looked at the women that I married, the love of my life, mother of my beautiful boys, and the person I trusted above all others. I deeply felt the pain in my bones. What had I done to trigger this request. Was I inadequate to meet my wife's desire, what did I do to cause my wife to need someone else in her life. - The emotions alone could fill the pages. Primarily it was a feeling of sadness that I was not the man my wife thought I would be and that I could never be what she needed to be filled all the way up with happiness/desire.
After taking some time and learning more about what she was asking it was time for bed.
Day 2 - I didn't sleep well and woke up using all my might to get the boys ready for school and to head to work at 6:20AM. I felt as though I was an empty shell of a man walking around work. I spend the next three hours reading articles on understanding open/poly relationships to help me better understand how we could compromise and what I could do to save my marriage. I was having troubling finding if this was something I could allow myself to handle. I was imagining my wife out on a date with someone else while I was at home with the kids. We rarely get to spend time together without the kids and now some lucky man is out with my wife hearing her beautiful laugh and seeing her smile. Taking in the beauty she shares. I ended up leaving work early sick to my stomach and having trouble functioning. I went straight to the gym to help combating the heavy weight of anxiety for the future and depression tempting my memories of our relationships. The gym helped but I found myself spending time looking at perfect pictures of our family and the doom that was to come in the next few weeks or months.
That night we talked about ground rules and specifically what she was looking for. One major obstacle was that she thought she could get what she needs without having sex with someone else. This gave me immediate relief and made me feel better about my insecurities and fears. She told me maybe two dates ever six months would satisfy what she was needing. This would be equal to the number of dates we get to have with one another.
Day 3, 3/29/23- Another night with little sleep, but after a few hours I was down after taking some helpful sleeping medication to aid my racing thoughts. Again, waking up thinking I was in someone's life and this couldn't be happening to me and my family. I went to work and spilled the beans to the only person I could trust at work. A highly educated 30-year-old male that has a mother and sister doctors OBGYN and physiatrist. I couldn't hold in the pain any longer and had to talk. He looked me strait in the face and said, "I'm so sorry man". He knew for most people wife asking for an open relationship that the end was right around the corner. I took his statements in stride he didn't know what my wife and I had been through. We'd both lived lives that were filled with risks and near death experiences. We were previous IV drug users and should have died many times before (Many of our friend had). Our cornerstone of 5+ years in recovery was honest. We knew without that we were surely not going to stay sober. He later came back into my office mentioning he spoke with his mother and sister and let me know in most cases like these the partner has already cheated. This challenged all the work I put into understanding my wife request the last two days. This was a minor setback and I let him know right away I 100% trust my wife and when she told me she has not acted on the urges it's the truth no further explanation was needed. I did greatly appreciate him checking in on my and letting me know several people were praying for us. (I do not recommend talking with strangers this early. It clouded my thinking and understanding of my wife's communication. It also added doubt into the mix that did not need to be there)
I got ahold of our mutual friend who my wife originally opened up to. He was very understanding in my feeling and let me know the shock will wear off and to give myself time to process these emotions (He too told us he was in a working poly relationship and he would try to keep his insight as unbiased as possible). I let him know by trying to set up parameters/ground rules and making this possible was severally impacting my soul. I believe now this was a little catastrophizing of a statement as I'm working towards finding a way to keep our family together. God sent me two much needed signs this day.
The first one a gentleman who had been terminated from work this day was walking by saying farewell he didn't mention to me at that time it was his last day but he looked at me and asked what was wrong. Apparently, I was noticeably hurting. I didn't tell him the specifics but that I was having trouble at home. "He said trust in God always." That had a lot of meaning for me. It helped me to keep pushing on and to trust in God always.
The second sigh when I went to get my medication the pharmacist provided me a Narcan inhaler. This of course helps bring you back once you're overdosing from opiates. I have recently had a shoulder surgery and knew the most peaceful way to go would be to overdose. This was only a fleeting thought among millions I was wrestling with over the last three days, but it was a profound sign for me to keep fighting. Believe me I have so much to live for. This was just a short-lived fleeting thought but God still extinguished it right away. "Trust in God always."
My wife and I didn't have much time to talk today her father was in town and I wanted to mix things up. We got the small mini pool and slide out for the kids and set it up in the back yard spraying water on the kids and watching them play. It was fun and my wife and I made fajitas. Later that night just before bed I had a few questions I wanted to ask her and I let me emotions and fear get the best of me. I let her know that in this moment If she feels as though she should be dating someone else then she should, but that we will no longer be in a relationship. I shouldn't be so direct in a situation that's extremely volatile. My wife is wanting to communicate with me and assured me we have nothing we need to do right now and multiple times now she's mentioned "everything will be okay. We will be okay." I felt bad for telling her this, but it was how I truly felt in that moment.
That night I felt like I had done something wrong by telling my wife how I felt. I don't know how to navigate these emotions nor do I have experience with taking through delicate situations like this. This is the first big ticket item my wife and I have not been able to tackle together in a day or two.
Day 4, 3/30/23 - I'm looking for advice to help me understand the benefits of poly and how I can train myself to accept my wife's request and to find happiness in her happiness with someone else. I feel as though neither of us have the best delivery on information and I don't want to make her feel bad for coming out and sharing with me.
I know for myself I will have trouble dating other people. I get all I need from my wife. I do have fantasies about others, but I could never actually see myself doing anything sexually. Emotionally I would not be interested in an emotional connection I do not long for those feeling.
Thank you for reading I want the best for my family we truly love one another.
This is the first time I've shared online, and I think there is therapy in writing down my feeling and concerns. I hope this helps other to see that they're not alone and these things happen. I will fight for my wife and our children and do my best to find a way to make it work. If it doesn't work out, I will do my best to copartner with my wife and take care of our little ones. Life is short and my wife deserves to have the things she desires as do I.

First/Previous
“Woah!” Jack yelled out as he fell out of bed Luckily he hadn’t been foolish enough to have set Dante up right next to him just in case of any accidents like this.
What stood in front of him holding a tray looked like a collection of rocks, pebbles and dirt vaguely moulded into a humanoid-ish form. Staring at it wide-eyed he levelled his gun at the thing as it slowly motioned to the tea it.had, and began to pour Jack a cup.
“Good morning Jack!” Zayle perked up as they walked in after the hulking thing. “No no no! Please don’t shoot him! He’s really nice and still owes me favours!”
Jack just stared back at the Squa’Kaar with the biggest ‘WTF’ expression on his face, not saying anything as the pile of rubble held out the mug for him to take, which he eventually did after he got the feeling it was staring at him.
“Zayle…” Jack began. “What’s going on?”
“Are you okay halveer?” Zayle asked. “My watcher spirit alerted me that you were starting to awaken so I thought I would make you a hot drink to wake you up! I sent my earth spirit to take it to you while I helped tidy up downstairs with my air spirit!”
“What time is it?” Jack asked with a groan as he got up, taking the mug from the earth spirit and taking a sip and taking care not to flinch from the taste. It was strong and bitter, and it seemed like Zayle had tried to counter that by putting way too much sweetener in it, but there was no way Jack was going to tell them after they were kind enough to go through the effort of making it and bringing it to him.
“It is early morning, I didn’t expect you of all people to awaken for a while yet!” Zayle commented. “Chiyo told me you and Nika probably would be up though. Are you feeling better?”
“Yeah.” Jack lied.
“Oh good!” Zayle perked up. “I hope everyone else does too! Uh…would you like me to get you some clothes to wear?”
“Shit!” Jack cursed as he got to his feet, quickly downing the rest of the drink and putting the mug back on the tray as he quickly went to the pile of clothes on the floor and threw on a thin undershirt and shorts.
“No need to be embarrassed.” Zayle shrugged nonchalantly. “Earth spirits don’t really understand that kind of concept.”
“Uh…” Jack began, staring at the gecko, who scoffed.
“What? I can grow a penis whenever I like, why would I be bothered?” Zayle smiled at Jack with a shrug.
Immediately, Jack spat out the drink still in his mouth in shock, spraying the earth spirit with the milky liquid. If the spirit seemed upset, it didn’t show it.
“What the shit!? Okay, time out.” Jack spoke up after he finished spluttering. “I don’t even know if you’re joking or if you’re serious. That was too much!”
“Sorry!” Zayle covered their mouth to stifle their laugh. “It is true though! My species evolved to do it to deal with population issues but it doesn’t really matter these days. At least it helps with the stupid school uniform policy! Have you ever tried wearing a skirt in a breezy winter? It’s not good!”
“Can’t say I have.” Jack replied with the first genuine chuckle he had in a while. “Is it really that terrible?”
“It’s really bad! My people grew up in warm swamps, but not baking hot like the summers here! That’s when you get horrible chafing with dangly parts! It takes a few months to fully change but usually Rayle and I time it well to match the seasons!”
“Too much information!” Jack snorted with a laugh. “Maybe we can change the topic to where we’ll be heading to pick your stuff up?”
“Sure, but I think Nika might need some help.” Zayle looked to the side, seemingly at nothing. “My watcher spirit is telling me she’s having trouble getting to her feet.”
“Alright, let's not wake anyone up.” Jack decided, looking at Dante with concern. Despite everything that had happened, the ‘dog’ hadn’t woken up from their slumber, and Jack quickly rearranged the blankets so they were better covered, but in a way that allowed everyone to check up on him without disturbing him.
The two headed downstairs, followed awkwardly by the earth spirit with pebbles tapping the wood as it trundled along.
“Morning.” Nika groaned as she stumbled her way to the living room clad in just her sports bra and shorts, her lower half surrounded by some kind of faint smoke that snaked around her legs and tail until she was able to grab a blanket and wrap it around herself. “Thanks for the assist, Zayle.” she sighed as the smoke coalesced and formed a small humanoid shape that stood at attention next to her.
“How are you feeling?” Jack asked the Kizun as Zayle quickly saw another opportunity to be proactively useful in making tea while her spirits awkwardly just stood there.
“Still sore, still stiff.” Nika sighed. “But healing naturally. I won’t let Alora give me a jump start when there could be lives at stake back at the Clan Bharzum compound. We have many friends in medical comas or being put back together for resurrection, and I’ll be damned if I take magical healing over them.”
Jack nodded as he sat on the sofa next to her. “No morning workout for us then?”
Nika rolled her eyes at him. “Careful, I might try a lap around the district even if I have to crawl! I’ve been hurt before but I never get used to just sitting down on the sofa and not doing anything productive. I know many of our friends like to do that and I’m not one to judge but I hate being forced to do nothing else without any choice in the matter.”
“We could find something practical.” Jack considered. “I don’t want to think too hard about homework but the Industrial Vocation bot we were working on was fun!”
“The one with the eight legs you thought up?” Nika grinned. “Yeah we can do that here while the others are still sleeping.”
“I can start making breakfast if you want?” Zayle asked as her earth and air spirits lingered behind her, having not been given tasks to do. “Or if it’s too early I can summon my water spirit to clean the pipes?”
“You should take a break instead and calm down.” Jack smiled. “You’ve done more than enough already and none of us even asked you to! Maybe you can sit down and rest while you tell us about your soon-to-be-ex-landlord instead?”
“The Laird?” Zayle asked. “Paranoid, crazy and power hungry, though nothing like the horrible and powerful enemies I’ve heard you’ve encountered. He wasn’t too terrible in the past but I think ever since his position started to get tenuous he’s been making a bunch of terrible decisions. Originally the security was alright and it was an environment Rayle and I were comfortable with so we stayed there because it was something we could afford while we attended school, but for a while now the dues have kept going up and we get less for it. He’s been bringing in extra thugs that like to try and fine people or intimidate residents into not leaving. That’s why I was hoping to get our things and get out before things get worse!”
“What was your original plan?” Nika asked curiously. “You mentioned before how you and Rayle had it all planned out. Where would you have moved to?”
“We were tempted to sign up to the Red Legion as aspirants. They provide free lodgings and military training after school and we have friends that have already signed up. The benefits are really good if you have magical capabilities, though it does mean we’d be tied to their operations on the Ring. Alternatively Kritch mentioned to Rayle that his family might be in a position soon to accept some tenants! Rayle was really keen on that idea for some reason…”
“Right.” Jack smiled, suspecting some ulterior motive on the part of their Lizta friend. “What kind of security has this Laird got? You mentioned thugs.”
“Security before was a local militia before there were arguments about pay and a bunch of them left. The Laird brought in anyone that could shoot a gun irrespective of their background. Bandits in all but name! Some of the neighbours have reported being mugged or robbed by them, so that’s mainly why I asked you for your kind assistance in the matter. Rayle and I can usually move around and go to the shops without really attracting any attention but moving out certainly would.”
“I get it.” Jack nodded. “A capable group wouldn’t be a tempting target for the bandits so your hope is for them not to harass you to stay.”
“Yes.” Zayle nodded. “I don’t like violence or confrontation but I hate being unsafe or robbed even more! If it is possible to get to the vault where the Laird is keeping the things he takes that his thugs aren’t skimming off then it may be possible to return sentimental items to my former neighbours if they’re able to get out themselves. They’d probably reward us too if we were to do it, and I’d feel more confident making the attempt with you than if it was just myself and Rayle.”
“I can’t guarantee we’ll go for that but it’s something to consider if the opportunity presents itself.” Jack pointed out seriously. “How were you able to pay your way before if you’re a full-time student?”
“My spirits are very utilitarian and Rayle is quite skilled with druidic magic.” Zayle shrugged. “Mainly odd jobs. We’ve volunteered with the Greenwardens before and sometimes we are able to sell byproducts of what we are able to produce which keeps us afloat. We are even able to grow GrainCoin and other AstralCurrencies sometimes which helps keep us in the black, and we’ve learned a bit about trading in the process.”
“Might be a good idea to repeat that to Alora.” Nika pointed out after stretching herself out more on the sofa. “We have a lot of very fertile garden space and an enthusiastic Eladrie that’ll be all over you, and Rayle too once they recover.”
“Yes…” Zayle’s expression drooped at being reminded of Rayle’s condition. If Jack had to guess, the reason for Zayle throwing themselves into chores and jobs was as a coping mechanism to try and forget. It probably wasn’t healthy, but then again, who was he to criticise?
“What’s the district like?” Jack added. “Please don’t leave anything out. If we’re helping you we need to make sure we do so in the right way so we don’t run into any problems.”
“There’s a lot of abandoned and ruined properties. It should be easy to hide and lay low if needed.” Zayle thought. “Oh yeah, lots of boat travel where bridges have been busted. I usually use my spirits but with more people I suppose that might be a problem.”
“Boat travel?” Jack asked in confusion. “What kind of place is this?”
“It’s swamp land suited for my species?” Zayle asked, sounding confused. “Why wouldn’t you need a boat for a place like that? Many islands of buildings amidst the canals, and the best humid environment we can afford to keep us moisturised. It is a large district spread between several factions that may turn into a horrible war, probably the next time the fog builds up.”
“Hmm.” Jack pondered. “Sounds almost like Venice. I went there once but it was packed with other tourists. A bunch of islands connected by even more bridges with the buildings constantly sinking into the ground. It has a lot of history but it’s basically just a tourist trap now.”
“Huh?” Zayle asked, now even more confused. “I have never heard of this…Ven-iss. But yes, several of the buildings sink into the ground by design to create an underground space in certain places. I am pretty sure the vault area has multiple access points with tunnels dug underneath so loot can quickly be taken there and possibly smuggled out. I’ve had watcher spirits follow some of the goons to confirm it.”
“How long does it take for you to normally get to your place when you enter the territory?” Nika asked, trying to get the gecko back on track.
“Just less than half an hour normally, but that is when I utilise my spirits to travel with Rayle, who also helps with their druidic powers.”
“So likely longer.” Jack nodded. “Do you at least have a map?”
Uhh…” Zayle fidgeted around for their commlink, reaching into one of the pockets of their newly-liberated dressing gown from the collection of clothes Jack and Sephy had robbed before bringing it up. “I have the sections of it I frequently use?”
“That’ll be useful.” Nika nodded. “Best wait for Sephy to wake up before we check it out and map a route.”
“Sometimes the thugs gather or patrol in places but I just take an alternative path.” Zayle added. “Even easier if you find or take a boat but there is usually the occasional sentry you need to watch out for, though maybe they’ll be more focused on where the other gangs will be coming from.”
“Something to bear in mind.” Jack noted. “I’ve seen how quiet Sephy’s drones can be, maybe if she has a few hovering overhead we can avoid any trouble outright. However from what you’ve described the militia have a habit of harassing innocent civilians. I’ll tell you now, I won’t stand by and let that happen if they try something like that around me. How strong are they if things go to shit?”
“There were several infrequent patrols between two to five guards last time I was there.” Zayle recalled as she filled another teapot and offered everyone drinks, which both Jack and Nika happily took. “Though many times they were drunk or high on something and didn’t really do much.”
“Maybe just keeping up appearances.” Nika reasoned. “Or just taking an easy job for easy pay before their employer either dies or cuts and runs with what they have. If they don’t live in the community they don’t have any motivation to act like proper guards.”
“They may also get the idea to take it for themselves if they’re able to and the Laird isn’t able to rein them in.” Jack speculated. “He seems like a poor leader, though I can’t tell if it’s from malice or just plain stupidity. How did he claim the territory in the first place?”
“Both malice and stupidity I think.” Zayle shrugged. “And he was next in the chain of command when the previous Laird and her chosen successor both apparently died to a Zorn raid. I think he was a clerk or a tax collector or something.”
“Makes sense why he’s not the best overall leader then.” Jack replied. “Okay. It sounds like a stealthy approach to your place will work as long as we detect and react to potential encounters quickly to avoid them, which will be very doable if we at the very least have Sephy and Chiyo along for the ride. Based on what you’ve told me we may be able to go today depending on how the others are feeling. It’s a risk but the situation over there could be played to our advantage if the militia is looking a certain way and we can sneak in and out right under their noses.”
“I agree.” Nika nodded with a grin. “You have a good mind for tactics.”
“Yeah.” Jack nodded in thought. “My main concern however is for your neighbours who haven’t left yet who may be caught in the storm. Some might be able to get out but there may also be those that are vulnerable and can’t leave unaided. The vault is optional, and I imagine Sephy would agree with you Zayle that we should try and hit it, but that might be a risk too far. We can entertain that idea when we get there, only if things go well.
“That’s fair.” Zayle conceded. “We can only do what we can, but we must be realistic about what we can do. We cannot save everyone over there.”
“We can only do our best.” Jack agreed. “Also I think I’m ready for breakfast now…”
Zayle quickly got to their feet, eager to throw herself into another task but Jack shook his head.
“No Zayle, you’ve already done a lot so sit down. I’m cooking, you need to take a chill pill. Nika, what do we have in stock?”
Jack admittedly had a limited number of recipes he could cook, but his father had decided he should know basic cooking skills at his age, and had Jack helping him with a few weekend family breakfasts they’d do to give his mother a break. Fortunately he confirmed that Zayle and Vanya were able to eat the simple meal he had planned as he counted several eggs, some prepared bacon-like equivalent they had that was suitable for nearly every species and the basic staples to make pancakes. He had no idea if it was officially called a Canadian or American breakfast or not and it didn’t really bother him. All Jack knew was that it was an easy dish to do for multiple people and he didn’t know many other recipes he could do. It would be the second morning in a row he would be making pancakes, so he resolved to try and find other simple recipes he would be able to learn. He knew he had a cooking class at school next week with Chiyo, so maybe he’d pick something up there or add a cookery book to the house shopping list?
As the smells of the hearty food wafted throughout the house, the others slowly appeared. Chiyo was first, having already been awake and meditating in the basement, lazily floating upwards and plonking herself on the sofa without too many words, except that the others that were able to were waking up, she was hungry and she couldn’t wait to eat what was cooking!
Sephy and Alora eventually joined them, with Nika and Zayle clueing them in on what their likely plans would be for recovering Rayle and Zayle’s belongings.
“I could come along, but....” Alora began, though Nika shook her head and countered. “We’ve already discussed it. You know Clan Bharzum will need medics and I know how serious you are about your healer’s oath. I think a smaller group would be best for remaining undetected anyway, and even if things do get bad the opposition isn’t going to be anything near the Pallid Pit or the Klown attacks, which Sephy, Jack and Chiyo can handle. As much as I hate to say it I can’t come myself, but I can help coordinate from here via comms and keep an eye on Dante and Vanya at the same time.”
“Alright.” Alora nodded and finally agreed. “Shoot me a message when you head out. How long do you expect to be?”
“It’s a few hours travel from here to my place.” Zayle noted. “Though I calculate that by my usual route, I expect it to take longer to get there safely and silently. Plus we need to get my stuff but I know what I will do for that.”
“So let’s just say a few hours, assuming all goes well.” Jack shrugged. “How do you plan on getting the stuff out then?”
“Rayle and I managed to bind a powerful earth spirit that is currently residing there as part of our current Lodge, along with a few other more powerful ones.” Zayle grinned, looking proud. “It’ll be able to handle getting the stuff out of the district, and I’ll have the other spirits accompanying me until I can use them for something or need to dismiss them once I dispel the Lodge for good, since those ones are too powerful to bind to my astral field. I’ll need to recover as many of the reagents we used in the original construction as possible in order to more quickly rebuild here once we find a suitable space.”
Sephy, how many drones do you have available? Chiyo asked the Skritta, who shrugged.
“I can bring a few more than I did for the Oracle Run but I don’t want to take my whole stack. I was thinking of having a few camouflage observer drones hovering above nearby so we can see any danger before it sees us.” Sephy reasoned. “I don’t have any capable of shifting stuff but if you say your earth spirit at your home can do it, that’s on you.”
And Chiyo, you should be able to detect others lying in wait?” Jack asked.
Yes, unless they purposefully shield themselves as Svaartal did on our way back from the Oracle. However since we’re not expected, it’s extremely unlikely we’ll run into that problem.
“Alright, then I guess I won’t need to be too worried if I offer my healing to Clan Bharzum.” Alora sighed. “I’ll head off as soon as I can then but I would like it if you kept me updated. I’ve got to say I’m surprised you’re taking being sidelined as well as you are Nika, it really isn’t like you.”
“That’s because I’m confident they can pull it off and Jack will keep everyone safe.” The Kizun shrugged. “Just don’t be too tempted to go for the vault if it’s too great a risk.”
“We’ll at least take a look and make sure we have a plan.” Jack shrugged. “From the sounds of it the Laird’s position is tenuous at best so if we don’t make the attempt others probably will, but if we do it we make sure we sort out anything else. If not, there’s apparently abandoned properties around that you can satisfy your kleptomania with Sephy.”
“I take offence to being called that!” Sephy replied in mock horror. “I am merely an entrepreneur seeking opportunities!”
“Don’t be in a rush to go though.” Alora warned. “I don’t want Vanya waking up and finding barely anyone here before we’ve explained what we’re planning for today.”
She’ll probably be another hour before she wakes. Chiyo informed her, and Alora simply nodded at that information in acknowledgement.
“We’re not in a rush.” Jack confirmed. “I think most of us are still tired so we’ll go once we’ve eaten and woken up a bit more. Maybe we can get there when it starts to get dark since I know Sephy’s drones will still be able to see anyway?”
“Good plan.” Nika nodded. “Although…Zayle, how does militia activity differ from day to night?”
“Uh…” Zayle thought. “The Laird wants more guards patrolling at night but in practice it doesn’t differ that much. It might actually be better since Rayle and I have seen guards goofing off when they think nobody is watching.”
“Alright, sounds good.” Jack nodded. “We’ll rest up and make our move in a few hours. Get ready.”
*****
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TL;DR: Over the past 5 months I've lost 1/7 of my starting weight but I'm not seeing or feeling any changes.
= Background: =
I'm in my forties and I've always been fat. I've always been tall, and I've generally been fit enough that, whilst I wasn't going to win any races, I was able to play rugby and swim long distances. Through a combination of several terrible experiences all colliding at once throughout 2019 and 2020 my mental health took a nosedive and I ended up putting on even more weight and generally starting to struggle. When I left my job at the beginning of 2020 (which wasn't the wisest time to leave employment) I spent the best part of a year and a half doing nothing but sleeping and eating takeaway (i.e. "delivery food" in the US) and really getting in to a bad place physically and mentally. I was finding it generally a struggle to walk for the first time in my life. I was finding it painful to sit up for a few hours.
I was finally able to get myself out of the funk, get a new job (at which I can work from home), and move house all at the end of 2021. As a result of all these changes I got a new GP ("primary care physician" in the US) along with the mental fortitude to seek help, so I was finally able to get referred to several specialists at a local hospital, including one of the leading departments in obesity treatment.
= The Change: =
Under the care of specialists I've not only had a 10 week group therapy session for binge-eating, but, since October last year, I have been on an intensive weight management diet. The diet is usually a 30 week plan*, split into three 10 week plans that follow one after the other, but as I have so much to lose, and needed to get below 225kg (approximately 500lbs (US), or 35.5 stone (old UK)) for a CT scan (to look for problems inside my brain), I was allowed to keep on the first part of the plan for the first 20 weeks or so, and will continue on the plan for as long as I'm able.
It's now been 22 weeks and I've lost over 35kg (77lbs (US), or 5.5 stone (UK)), from a starting point of 253kg (about 557lbs, or 40 stone) - I was weighed the day before I started the diet plan, and had already been able to lose some weight from my absolute highest by then.
= The Current Situation: =
I am still incredibly fat. I don't feel any better, even though I'm back to where I was before it all went so badly. I still struggle to walk. I still get really bad back pain that lasts several days if I am sat up all day. I'm not going to stop the plan, if all goes well I should be able to get down to 200kg (440lbs, 31.5 stone) before the end of the 30 weeks and even at that point I have no reason to stop, but I am just feeling like I'm broken. I am not "disheartened", per se, but I am definitely feeling frustrated with the situation and as it's hard to talk about intentional weight loss in lots of places, and where it is safe it's hard to say "I've lost a lot but it doesn't help", I figured I'd vent here.
I'm not sure if I'm looking for advice, or for support, or I just wanted to express myself somewhere that I won't get judged, but as I've taken the time to write I'll post.
^{* I'm not going to go into the details or specifics of the plan as I don't want to encourage anyone to try to go through it without the level of support that I have - I am seen every two weeks to get weighed & have my blood pressure taken, and discuss how I'm doing on the plan with one of the specialists on the team, as well as being able to contact them at any time if I have any queries or concerns.}